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refinedbuffoonery · 3 years

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Looking Through A Window (2)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Oh man. My dudes. I received so much love and support and excited feedback on the first chapter that I thought my heart was going to explode. Y’all are so wonderful. Keep it up. <3

*****

Luckily, Matty lets them take the Phoenix jet to Houston. Flying commercial would make today even more tortuous than it already promises to be, albeit for a different reason.

No matter how hard he tries to distract himself, Mac cannot stop staring at the diamond ring on Riley’s finger. The princess cut gem is stunning and ridiculously large, but it suits her cover as a lucrative arms dealer. A white gold wedding band sits below it. Riley left her usual assortment of rings at home, and Mac can’t help but think her long, delicate fingers look bare without them.

He tears his eyes away from the rings again and again, both on the plane and while driving to the safe house. Riley drives with just her left hand, her right elbow resting on the center console. Mac likes driving, but there’s something relaxing about riding shotgun while Riley drives instead. He’s never been able to put a finger on it, but the sense of ease washes over him all the same. Admiring the way sunlight illuminates her engagement ring is simply a bonus.

He doesn’t let himself imagine what he might give her, in an alternate future where she reciprocates his feelings and one day wants to marry him.

Harley obediently lays in the backseat, staring out the windshield. She's been on her best behavior the entire twenty four hours Mac's known her, ever the professional.

Which puts her completely at odds with Mac and Riley's shenanigans—cracking jokes, dancing on the plane and in the car, doing purposefully bad impersonations of Russ. These are the best parts of going on ops alone with Riley. They can let loose in a way they just couldn’t when anyone else other than Bozer was around. Everyone else is professional all the time; Mac and Riley are only professional when they have to be.

Riley taps the steering wheel in time to the classic rock song on the radio. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Dinner? We haven’t even had lunch yet!”

“True.” Riley chuckles. “Can you tell I’m hungry?”

Mac gives her a sly look. “Not at all.”

They settle on Texas barbecue for lunch on their way to the safe house, because that’s what Jack would choose if he was here. If only the old man could see them now, all grown up and getting sent to take down terrorists unsupervised.

Seated in a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Mac raises his brisket sandwich in a toast to Jack, in whatever afterlife he found himself in. Hopefully it’s the one with an endless supply of good barbecue.

“Oh man, Jack would’ve loved this,” Riley says through a mouthful of food. She sneaks Harley a piece of brisket.

Mac smiles. “Yeah, he would’ve.”

It’s easier, now, to talk about him. At first, Mac hadn’t been sure he could ever get to a point where talking about Jack didn’t make him want to hit something or just curl up and sob.

But here he is, on the other side. Him and Riley both.

Their safe house is another twenty minutes away from the restaurant, in a nice neighborhood full of trees and children playing on the sidewalks. It’s so much greener than a California neighborhood could ever dream of being. There’s even a park across the street from their apartment complex. It’s exactly the sort of place a young, affluent couple would want to live.

Riley parks in their designated space, and the pair ascend the stairs to apartment number 202. Outside of the car, they don’t dare use each other’s real names until they’re sure the apartment is free of bugs. The place was furnished earlier that week by other Phoenix agents, but Mac and Riley do a thorough sweep of every room just in case.

It’s a nice apartment. Wood flooring, granite countertops, matching cabinets throughout. There are pictures on the walls, but Mac doesn’t bother to stop and check what they are.

Riley clears the space from back to front, so Mac does the opposite. He clears the kitchen first, frowning at the absence of any sort of food, before moving on to the living room.

Mac stops dead in his tracks when he enters the bedroom. The singular bedroom. With a singular, queen-sized bed.

Oh no. This is not happening.

Mac shakes his head and rubs his eyes, hoping his mind is just playing tricks on him and that there’s actually two beds. Or a whole other room he missed before.

The one and only bed seems to mock him.

He walks back out, finding Riley already sitting at the kitchen table, turning on her laptop. “Uhh, Riles? There’s only—”

“One bed,” she finishes, not bothering to look up. “I know.”

Oh god. He can’t do this. He can’t. Not with his dignity still intact. Mac stammers, “I’ll, uhh, sleep on the couch. You can have it.”

That gets Riley’s attention. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re going to be here for weeks. You’ll hurt your back sleeping on the couch that long. Just sleep with me.” Riley’s eyes widen as she realizes what she just said. “In the bed,” she quickly adds.

Mac ducks his head to hide his blush.

“What are you working on?” he asks in a feeble attempt to distract himself from their sleeping situation. Because it will definitely be a situation if Mac’s not careful.

“Connecting to the Wi-Fi,” Riley says in a slow, “What else would I be doing?” sort of way.

“Right.” Mac silently curses himself. Of course that’s what she’s doing. “Anyway, I’m assuming you already know this, since you probably opened the fridge too, but we have no food.”

“I saw.” She’s multitasking again, manicured fingers flying faster across her keyboard than Mac can keep track of. “Why don’t you unload our bags while I finish this, and then we can go.”

Unable to help feeling like he’s been dismissed, Mac complies without protest.

Soon they’re back in the car, headed to the grocery store, and the whole thing feels ridiculously domestic. Mac’s never been a fan of grocery shopping, but Riley makes it almost...fun. For starters, she’s not methodical about it the way Bozer and Desi are. But more than that, getting to spend time with her doing mundane, non-work stuff is a nice reminder that their relationship is more than just the job. They’re friends too.

Mac wishes there is a way to tell her all that without it sounding weird.

They come home, unload the groceries, and take Harley for a long walk, and that feels easy too. It feels normal, even though literally nothing about this situation is normal, and Mac already knows he’ll miss this when the op is over.

But normalcy ends when Riley beckons Mac to sit beside her at the kitchen table, and together they write an advertisement for their arms dealing business. Once they’re satisfied with it, Riley sends it off into the dark web, and there’s nothing to do but wait, like a spider after spinning her web.

The waiting is the worst part.

Mac is contemplating taking Harley for a second walk when Riley asks, “Want to help me make dinner?” He takes one look at her hands on her hips and the “you don’t actually have a choice” look on her face and knows he’ll be left to fend for himself if he doesn’t help now. Mac learned that the hard way back when he and Riley lived together.

“Sure.”

They work in comfortable silence. Mac chops vegetables and grates cheese for their quesadillas while Riley does the actual cooking part. Even though they are doing separate tasks, Mac is acutely aware of every move Riley makes, no matter how insignificant. Flexing her long, thin fingers around a knife. Itching the back of her calf with her foot. Dancing in place, spatula in hand, while she waits to flip the quesadillas sizzling in the pan.

Mac smiles softly. Her random little dances are cute. He’s noticed them more and more since realizing he has feelings for her, but if Mac is being honest, he’s always thought the dances are cute.

Riley hisses as she peeks under the tortilla, checking to see if it’s browned yet.

“You good?” Mac asks, frowning.

“Yeah, I touched the pan by accident.” Riley runs her thumb under cold water.

Her laptop dings while they eat. Wide-eyed, Mac glances at Riley. That was fast. She grimaces before sliding the laptop closer and checking the notification.

“Is it them?” he asks tentatively. That’s the hard part about this; in order for their business to look more legit, they had to just put an ad out and hope for a response, rather than target the terrorist organization directly.

Riley exhales. “No, it’s not them. It’s someone else.”

Swallowing another bite of quesadilla, Mac says, “I don’t know whether I’m relieved or if that’s worse.”

“Same.”

There are no more responses that night.

*****

Mac wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in—on his side, facing outward, with as much space between him and Riley as possible. When they crawled into bed the night before, Riley did the same.

Harley spent the night on the couch.

She’s a very guarded dog, Mac is slowly realizing. Tolerating, but not trusting. Mac supposes he would be like that too if he was a dog and he got stuck with a bunch of strangers after his human suddenly disappeared one day.

He makes coffee, feeds Harley breakfast, and takes a shower, all before Riley loses her battle with the snooze button and finally gets out of bed. While she showers, Mac takes Harley for a walk in hopes that the cool, spring air will ease the anxiety that took root the moment Riley released their ad into the void.

It doesn’t.

Dark, puffy clouds loom on the horizon, and the few birds Mac hears shriek at each other in warning. It looks like a storm is coming.

When Mac returns, he’s met with a grim expression, one he understands without Riley uttering a single word. “They answered,” she confirms.

“What did they say?” Unclipping Harley’s leash, Mac moves to stand behind Riley, resting his hands on the back of her chair. The scent of her shampoo tickles his nose, and he forces himself to ignore it and focus on what Riley’s saying.

“They want to meet. Today.”

“Time or place?”

Riley points at a small box on her screen. “Just an address.”

“What’s there?”

“A warehouse,” Riley says. “Owned by the same shell corporation other Phoenix techs already tied to the organization.”

“Not very clandestine, are they?”

“No, they’re not.” Riley looks up at him, her head bumping his sternum, and butterflies ricochet inside Mac’s rib cage. There’s something soft in Riley’s expression that makes Mac want to kiss her. “Are you ready for this?”

Mac sighs. “As ready as I ever am. Are you?”

“Yeah,” she says, but her confidence falters. Without thinking, Mac squeezes her shoulders in reassurance before walking away to change.

*****

The warehouse is located on the edge of the city, in an industrial area that has certainly seen better days. Even from a distance, Mac can see cobwebs decorating the warehouse windows and rust creeping up the roller doors. Aside from Riley, there’s not another soul in sight.

As per the directions the organization sent after Riley confirmed the meeting, Mac parks on the south side of the building, near the only functional-looking door. He doesn’t look at Riley as they get out of the car, instead desperately trying not to cringe at the cold, heavy weight of the gun holstered at his side, hidden beneath his jacket.

High-end arms dealers couldn’t walk around unarmed, unfortunately.

Although her hands are occupied with holding Harley’s leash, there’s a gun hidden beneath Riley’s suit jacket as well. Mac’s stomach churns. The second Riley emerged from their bedroom earlier wearing that jet black suit, she was a different person. She was wholly Genevieve Turner, and no matter how hard Mac tried, he couldn’t find even a single trace of his best friend beneath the icy exterior.

Locking their SUV, Mac smooths the lapels of his own black suit and slips into character as well.

The dark clouds Mac noticed earlier are directly overhead now. Mac has never believed in omens the way Jack did, but he can’t help hearing Jack’s voice in his head, warning him that black clouds are a sign of certain doom. Or something like that.

There’s no one inside the warehouse, at least as far as Mac can see. “Hello?” he calls, the word echoing slightly in the open space. Aside from a few random wooden crates, the room is empty.

A door slams, and then an older man comes into view. He’s probably in his late fifties, with graying hair and a beer belly his shirt doesn’t quite cover. The man swaggers like he owns the place, although Mac doubts the leader of a terrorist cell would deign to play tour guide.

No doubt there’s a quip on the edge of Riley’s tongue about entitled white men, but she doesn’t share it.

The man extends a hand to Mac in introduction. “Conrad.” His sneer doesn’t reach his eyes.

Mac frowns, keeping his hands at his sides. “Last name?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

What he’s about to say might screw everything up before it even starts, but Mac says it anyway. In his gut, he knows it’s the right call. “If it doesn’t matter, then we’re done here. My wife and I have no interest in entering a business relationship with someone too inexperienced to understand that trust is integral to any transaction.” Mac spins on his heel and strides toward the door, Riley falling into step beside him.

“Wait!” the man calls. They pause, turning around slowly. “Deacon. Conrad Deacon.” The man seems to know he’s already lost. Good. “Welcome to the cause.” He gestures for Mac and Riley to follow him.

Mac stands his ground. In his peripheral, Riley stands utterly still, the perfect mask of cool, collected neutrality. Almost bored, even. It’s scary how easily she becomes her cover.

“Come on now,” Conrad says, taking a single step forward. “We have much to discuss.”

That’s enough of the power play, Mac thinks, but just as he’s about to give in and follow Conrad, Riley utters a single, sharp command that rings through the room. “Sit.”

Harley obeys.

Riley’s lips curve in a cruel, taunting smile. “Then enlighten us.” Mac suppresses a shiver; he’s seen this side of Riley plenty of times before, watched her hone it over the years, but it’s still unnerving. Admittedly, it’s also kind of hot.

Conrad ignores her entirely. He croons, “Why don’t we start with your names?” It’s phrased like a question. It sounds like a question, but Mac sees the demand for what it really is.

Mac gestures to Riley. “This is my wife, Genevieve Turner. And my name is James.” His father’s name tastes like ash on Mac’s tongue.

“And the dog?”

“Killer,” Riley sneers. Mac isn’t sure if she’s kidding or not.

Again, Conrad doesn’t acknowledge her. “James, why don’t I give you the tour and explain what we do here.”

“We’ll go on the tour, but we are not here to join your cause.” It takes every ounce of Mac’s willpower to maintain his neutral tone. “All we care about is what you’d like us to provide and how much you’ll pay for it.”

Conrad doesn’t hide his displeasure. “Fine. Follow me.”

Mac and Riley are led through the open warehouse. The layout is straightforward and nearly impossible to get lost in. But after Conrad shows them a room full of rifles—countless hung on the walls, floor to ceiling, the rest in half-open crates—Mac finds himself counting the number of wooden shipping crates scattered around the building.

He doesn’t like his final number.

Arming terrorists doesn’t sit well with Mac, even if it serves a purpose. It makes him sick, knowing he will likely be indirectly responsible for their next attack.

Especially because those crates are no doubt full of the kind of rifles designed to kill people most effectively. The ones hanging on the wall are military grade, probably cutting-edge. Desi would know exactly what they are and how they work.

Trusting Riley is paying close attention, Mac only half listens to Conrad babble about the cause. But then the older man says something that stops Mac in his tracks. “Our country is being run into the ground by whiny do-nothings,” Conrad asserts, “who waste our money and spew garbage that some people matter more than others. Well, you know what? Hardworking, everyday Americans matter. But no,” he scoffs, “those damn liberals don’t like it when we remind them of the truth. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off.”

The ground sways under Mac’s feet. He knows these people believe this, read it in Matty’s extensive briefing notes. But it’s another thing entirely to hear someone say it to his face.

He can only imagine what Riley must be thinking.

Clearing his throat, Mac tries to redirect the conversation. “Like I said, we don’t care about your cause. Just tell us what you’re looking for, and we’ll be on our way.”

Conrad eyes him suspiciously, but complies. “We’re looking for something a little more than what you can get at the store, you know?”

Mac doesn’t, not exactly. He’ll have to ask Desi later. “I do,” he lies.

“Good. Here’s what we’re willing to pay for it.” He hands Mac a folded piece of paper, and Mac does a double take when he reads the number. There are a lot of zeroes. “And as a show of good faith, we’d like it delivered tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Riley splutters. Mac feels it then, the broiling rage slipping through a crack in her persona. He needs to get her out of there. Now. Not just to preserve the op, but for Riley’s wellbeing. Some audacity Matty has making Riley play nice with men like this.

Mac slides his hands into his pockets, using the movement as a cover to brush his knuckles against Riley’s fist. I know. I’m here. I’m sorry.

For the first time, Conrad addresses Riley directly. “Yes. Tomorrow. Unless that’s something you can’t do?”

“We can do that,” she replies calmly, and the difference between her reactions is like night and day. As quickly as that crack appeared, it was gone.

“Excellent.” Conrad takes another step toward Riley, offering to shake hands, but Harley’s low, menacing growl keeps him at bay. Rewarding the dog with a quick scratch on the head, Riley closes the gap and shakes Conrad’s still-outstretched hand.

“It’s a deal,” she says. Following suit, Mac shakes Conrad’s hand as well and follows Riley out the door, neither of them uttering another word.

Mac drives. One look at Riley’s trembling fist decides for him.

By the time the warehouse disappears from the rearview mirror, he can’t take the silence anymore. “Hey,” Mac starts, but Riley cuts him off with a hand.

“Not until we’re inside.”

They hit every single red light between the warehouse and the apartment, and Mac anxiously taps the steering wheel. Raindrops land on the windshield. They’re small at first, but soon the drops are large and numerous enough to refract the streetlights, and Mac struggles to see where he’s going. He adjusts the windshield wipers over and over, never landing on the right speed.

Too slow. Too fast. Too slow. Too fast.

Mac settles on a setting that’s slightly too fast, and the squeak of rubber on glass nearly matches his heart thudding in his chest.

Riley stares straight ahead, unmoving, unblinking. Mac wants to reach out, to let a gentle touch say what he verbally can’t, but the road is slick enough to make him keep two hands on the wheel. We’re almost there, he reassures himself.

By the time he parks, it’s pouring hard enough that the ten second walk from the car to the door soaks them to the bone. Riley’s hands shake as she unlocks the apartment door.

Once they’re inside and Mac unclips Harley’s leash, Riley turns to him with pained, pleading eyes. His heart breaking all over again, Mac draws her in for a long, tight hug. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to.

Mac just cradles the back of her head and sways gently, wishing he could fix the world for her.

Neither pulls away, even when Riley suddenly says, “If Conrad was smart, he would’ve had someone bug our car while he paraded us around the warehouse. I don’t think he’s actually smart enough to do that, but we should check first, just in case.”

Mac curses himself for not thinking of that. “Good call.” He rubs Riley’s back, hoping the gesture is soothing. “I hate the way he treated you,” he snarls. “Like you weren’t even worth acknowledging.”

“Welcome to being a woman.”

It was more than that. They both know it. But neither say it.

*****

“You need what?” Matty shrieks over the phone.

Mac winces. “Sorry.” He’d called Desi first, to ask what kind of guns Conrad meant with his innuendo, and received a verbal lashing for not asking any follow-up questions. But she made her best guess anyway. Now on the phone with Matty, it doesn’t take even a single brain cell to know that her reaction will be much, much worse.

“He wants us to prove ourselves,” Riley adds. “As a show of good faith.” The words come out dripping in venom, but their boss doesn’t comment. Mac takes a second to study her; Riley changed into leggings and an oversized flannel shirt, and there are still remnants of dark makeup smudges under her eyes. Now, she’s sitting on the kitchen counter with her knees tucked into her chest. It’s weird to see her take up so little space.

Matty sighs, deeply and loudly in a way conveys her annoyance more than words ever could. “Fine. A few weeks ago, Border Control confiscated a huge shipment of smuggled guns near El Paso, so I’ll see if we can borrow those. But next time, Blondie, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He doesn’t correct Matty in that it was Riley who made the deal. That would only add fuel to the fire.

“Thank you,” he says, and Matty hangs up. Mac runs a hand through his damp hair. “That went well.” Riley’s lips twitch, but it’s not the amused reaction he hopes for. He’s at a complete loss regarding what to say to her, so Mac gently asks, “What can I do?”

Riley slides off the counter, and Mac reaches for her automatically, although he doesn’t actually touch her; his hand hovers just beside Riley’s elbow. She doesn’t shrink away, but she makes no move to touch him either.

“Help me put him and everyone like him in a deep, dark hole where they can’t hurt anybody. And then just…” she trails off, taking a deep breath. “Keep being you.”

With that, she walks away, leaving Mac alone in the kitchen, racking his brain to figure out what that last part means.

*****

Later that night, Mac tosses and turns, replaying Conrad’s words. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off. They seem off-kilter, like what the man said and what he really meant are misaligned. Mac sighs, rubbing his face.

Another bolt of lightning illuminates the bedroom, and Mac automatically counts the seconds until he hears thunder rumbling in the distance. The storm is moving closer.

Beside him, Riley lies on her back with her eyes closed, although her breathing is too light for her to be asleep. Mac wonders if her mind is just as loud and chaotic as his.

For Riley’s sake, he hopes it’s not.

*****

Sleep never finds Mac.

The storm rages all through the night, but by the time dawn arrives, the thunder and wind dissipate, leaving just the steady downpour. The clouds are dark enough that Mac can hardly tell the sun even bothered to rise this morning.

When Riley’s alarm goes off, it’s like the shrill tone is mocking Mac for being awake. Riley groans as she shuts it off.

“Morning,” he mumbles. His throat hurts. He needs water. “Did you sleep well?”

Another groan. “No.”

“At least you slept,” Mac mutters.

Riley rolls onto her side, drawing one of the extra pillows into her chest. “Do you always toss and turn that much?”

It was his fault, he realizes, that she didn’t sleep. Mac suddenly feels guilty. “Sorry. And no.”

He expects Riley to be upset at being kept awake, but she isn’t. With a look that just might be understanding, she softly asks, “What were you thinking about?”

Mac can’t say that his thoughts whip around his mind like raindrops in last night’s storm. Not without sounding crazy, at least. So instead he says, “I don’t even know. I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“Me too,” Riley admits. “It feels off.” Her eyes are heavy, and Mac’s had enough early mornings with Riley to know it’s not just the lack of sleep weighing her down.

“Go back to sleep. I can handle the delivery.”

Riley rolls her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting you do that by yourself.”

He doesn’t argue. “Okay.”

A moment passes between them. It’s been happening more and more lately—holding eye contact a little too long, sharing smirks when no one else is looking, stealing moments where it’s just the two of them and nothing else matters. Each one gives him hope that there’s not a wall between them, but instead, a door. Someone just has to be brave enough to open it.

Sitting up, Riley quipps, “Just don’t make me regret letting you sleep in the bed with me.” Mac snorts.

“No promises.”

~ Tag List ~ Want to be added? Send me an ask.

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#beth writes #macriley #macgyver #macgyver fanfiction #angus macgyver #riley davis #looking through a window au

75 notes · View notes

sagamemes · 4 years

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disastrio text starters episode II: teeth and tomfoolery. below and under the cut, you can find 75 messages dug up from the pins of the cursed group chat of three international friends, and some select dms. slightly edited for roleplay purposes, with spelling errors opted to keep in tact to maintain the Energy™. edit as you please. tw: nsfw and kink mentions.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] when i have nothing to add i just screenshot it sorry

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] i am going to choke you.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] sorry i laughed too hard and now my mother is yelling

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it's nearly [zodiac] season, bitches

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] thunder just shook my entire car. [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] why must we all pay for florida man's sins.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i is business contact

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] only if they mentioned something about te*th

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i don't watch enough simpsons to know what that means but i love you

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] as if you could curb your scientific curiosity for long enough to leave the only place on earth where someone might use "hey who wants to hear a fun fact about the progression of time" as a conversation opener

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] "you want to punish yourself by seeking unhealthy relationships." [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] also the stars say you may want to have your feet fucked.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] this is the worst thing i have come across all week

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] maybe it's the preparation for pangea [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] which i for one am all for

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] you're kdidng

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the real magic was the tomfoolery we had along the way?

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] that sounds like a famous last words situation

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the death of a platform cannot end our tomfoolery

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'll die hot [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] in every sense of the word

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] there's a "everything is bigger in texas" joke in there somewhere

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] what can i say i love to validate my friends

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] when ur suffering too much from anxiety to fly so u just recreate 179,997,981 B.C.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] at this point i'm taking no responsibilities you know what you're signing up for when u open this chat

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] valid and good information and all but I fucking refuse to teach my kids how to "hook up so they're not nervous anymore"

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] we need a gang sign

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i like having the reputation of terror among those who Don't Know Me

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] if the worst thing that people think about me is that i have a [thing] kink then i can live with that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] teeth r hot what is anyone going to do about it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the fact that the conversation just ends there makes it look like you legit hopped on a plane and unhinged your jaw

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the suns will come for us all

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] my conspiracy theory is strengthening

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] they're telling u to be suspicious of the house plant in case there's a mic in there

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] didn't u hear me the tractor supply is a front for a secret government agency keep up

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] who needs eyes when u got swag

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] not to completely derail the conversation but [person] just said that she believes male nipples should fall off like the umbilical cord at some point and i can't fucking breathe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] there are only so many contexts for [body part] in a sexual setting

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] WHERE ARE YOUR TEETH IF NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the Salmon Instinct(tm) always gets ya

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i immediately regret typing that

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ur parents thought gators made a nice backdrop for babymaking

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm surrounded by rats i see

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] p sure the faculty let it go on bc it would work as abstinence fuel

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i choose ignorance

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm not linking anything google at your own risk

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] just let [name] do the talking, even if it's about teeth

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] john mulaney was right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i will relish in your suffering nonetheless

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i've got therapy at 10, and a tarot reading at 9.

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] me: yeah i consider myself a logical, even overthinking individual [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] also me: no wait fuck i'm gonna burn my couch *SLAPS THE FIRE*

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] tonightwith food, i will weep, do not fret

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] cry those shit chemicals out

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] vastly different kids of chaos, urs hurts u, i just had to eat the marshmallows faster to get rid of Bad Taste

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] finland is the florida of europe

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but more importantly it made my heart hurt

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] all roads lead to [person/public figure]

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] it is Fucking Moist here my mans [ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] ....humid. the word i was looking for is humid

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] if there ever comes a day when i stop liveblogging my misfortune here, presume me dead

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] that's a whole child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i hate them both so [name] just go my wrath in that moment

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] our entire relationship is based on fictional emotional s/m

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i hope u realise we're gonna kidnap u when u come here right

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] update: 4 am and i'm crying about a fictional bird child

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] can someone please kill the hobgoblin, they keep coming back and i have nothing left to give

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] cursed threeway

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] the minions crucified jesus

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] THE FUCKER STOLE MY TERRIYAKI JERKY

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] "you're a shameless little jerky thief and i hate you" - [name] about the cat, but it's better without context

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] I consider this further proof that Romeo and Juliet ruin everything

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i have the sense of humour of a 12 year old

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] yeah rodeo girls will do that to u tho

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] [name] has the brain cell and they fell asleep with it

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i'm never gonna be able to look at rich people furniture without presuming it's a kink thing hiding in plain sight

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] but who am i if not the bitch to say the thing nobody wants to

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] i must've missed deep sea penis

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] IT’S IN MAJOR IT COUNTS AS LIGHT-HEARTED

[ 𝚃𝙴𝚇𝚃 ] op of this article has a vore kink

#text meme #texting meme #rp text meme #* texts.#disastrio

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nad-zeta · 4 years

Note

iT'S YA BOI !! i read your foreign mc headcanons and i stan 💕💓 which had me thinking, how would warlords ( mitsuhide, nobunaga, and whoever else you'd like ? ) react to their s/o being kind of homesick and singing some soft songs in their native language? ( me being me i don't have that good of a voice so maybe mc isn't the best singer out there, but the songs are soft, slow, about love, about heartbreak, etc etc ) gotta love them ballads. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK! you posts make my mornings.

Hi, there dear! Thank you so much for the request, is always much appreciated! <3 You are so freaked sweet thanx for ya kind words! I hope ya like it! And I hope you are staying safe and well! So these are probs the songs that you would find me singing if I were stuck in the past lol! 🔥🦊❤

HEADCANON: MC Singing in her native language

feat; Nobunaga, Mitsuhide and Kenshin

Nobunaga

One night you and Nobunaga were relaxing in your shared room

Nobunaga had, had a long week and now had dark rings under his eyes

You had dragged him away from the important document to rest his head on your lap. You soothingly caressed his hence and hair, trying to coax him to sleep.

He looked up at you with pleading eyes

“Entertain me, fireball.”

He had heard you singing softly a few days ago. You were hanging out the washing and wind seemed to carry your voice to his room, giving him a renewed sense of energy for the day

“I am entertaining you, or would you rather I tickle your ears.”

Nobunaga’s eyes went wide, and he cupped his ear, narrowing his eyes at you. He had a cute little pout on his face

“Careful fireball, if you tickle me, it will be seen as a declaration of war.”

You smiled challenging at him, Nobunaga didn’t want to take any chances with you. He uncovered his ears and took your hands in his. He then intertwined his fingers with yours. He smiled triumphantly

“Okay, okay I accept defeat, how do you want me to entertain you.”

Ruby eyes stared excitingly up at yours, he gave you his signature smirk, and he asked you to sing for him

“Fine then, but it’s not going to be any good,” you rolled your eyes and started singing

“Ek sal jou nooit los nie en ek sal jou nooit vergeet

Waarvandaan ek kom en al's wat ek nou weet

In 'n wêreld vol bakleiery het jou vrede my nou beet

Want jy gee vir my 'n rede, 'n rede om te glo”

He looked into your eyes as you sang, he could tell it was some sort of a love song, he smiled up at you and closed his eyes to savor every soft sound of your beautiful voice

He had often forgotten that you had come from a completely different place and that your customs and languages were so different from his.

You would often sing these songs in your native language when you were feeling homesick

And every time you did, he would envelop you in his warm and ask you about your life, childhood, and favorite memories. Sometimes there would be a few tears, but Nobunaga would always be there to kiss them away.

He loved to hear about your life before; he would shower you with love and kisses, he knew that you had sacrificed so much to stay with him

He loved to listen to you sing, and you were only to sing to him and no one else.

He loves to rest in your lap as you softly sing. Sometimes If you are feeling particularly homesick, the roles would be revered, and Nobunaga would now be the one gently playing with your hair and singing some of his native songs to you, to ease your homesickness a bit

Mitsuhide

You were busy cleaning up your and Mitsuhide’s shared room

Little knew how sentimental the sneaky snek was; he kept a box in his cupboard filled with precious trinkets for his past

In the box was a small trinket that Nobunaga had gifted him the first time, they met. You looked at it and was flooded with memories from your past and stories your parents and grandparents used to tell you

You parents were also sentimental creatures and kept a similar box in their cupboard and as a child, you would also always open it up and gaze in wonder at the contents inside

You remembered a particular item that was hidden in the box that you stole for yourself.

It was your dad’s army jacket embroidered with your family’s surname.

You used to wear that jacket everywhere you went. You remembered how you would even wear it when you and your brother would play war games. You smiled at the memory and couldn’t help but remember your dad’s favorite song, well, to be honest, it’s one of those songs that every Afrikaans person knows

“Op 'n berg in die nag

Lê ons in donker en wag

In die modder en bloed lê ek koud,

Streepsak en reën kleef teen my

En my huis en my plaas tot kole verbrand

Sodat hulle ons kan vang,

Maar daai vlamme en vuur

Brand nou diep, diep binne my”

Mitsuhide smiled as he walked into the room hearing his sweet mouse singing what sounded like a very passionate song in her soft voice

Once the song was done, he snuck up behind you and frightened you. He sat down, pecked you on the cheek, and looked over your shoulder to see what you were up to.

He could see you were feeling a bit homesick. He asked if you would sing him another song from your homeland.

You beamed up at him; you were feeling a little shy. “only if you don’t tease my terrible singing voice.”

“But my love, I love it when you sing so out of tune.”

You rolled your eyes and hit his chest

You softly started to sing another song from your homeland

“Well honey you're the reason

For the poet-inspired love affair

Honey this is treason

The king is gone, Rapunzel let down your hair.”

You smiled as this one was more of a love song to help lighten the mood a little

You spent the afternoon singing to Mitsuhide and reminiscing about the past

He would just sit and listen to your beautiful singing, occasionally giving you a flurry of kisses while gently stroking your soft, smooth hair.

He loved hearing stories of your childhood and family

Every so often, you would get a little homesick, but Mitsuhide would always be there listening to your stories and singing. He would hold you in his arms and remind you just how much he loves you.

TBH he has heard you sing a few songs so many times that he will join in on softly singing with you.

Kenshin

You were playing with the bunnies in the garden

The rabbit you were now petting in your lap was white with black ears and legs. The cutie reminded you of the bunnies you used to have back at home

You suddenly started thinking about home and your sweet buns

You used to sing to them all the time because they were an energetic bunch and would only come to you for a cuddle if you sang to them

Your family would often joke about how spoilt your bunnies were back at home

Feeling a bit nostalgic you decided to sing, to the bunny on your lap, hoping that the wind would somehow carry your voice to the ears of your bunnies back home (even if they were 500 years away)

“We leave to their goodbyes

I've come to depend on the look in their eyes

My blood's sweet for pain

The wind and the rain bring back words of a song

And they say wave goodbye….”

You softly sang a song heavy with sentimental memories

Kenshin walked in the garden hearing the wind carrying a soft whisper of a voice singing

He instantly recognized your voice

He stood and listened for a minute, not realizing a tear managed to escape and was now rolling down his cheek

He could hear the song sung carried so much emotion; he softly walked over to you

Plonked himself behind you and rested his chin on your shoulder while wrapping his arms around your waist

Kenshin wasn’t the only crowed you manage to attract with your singing as it seemed like the full army of fur balls was now at your feet, nudging your legs as if to say “don’t stop now, keep singing.”

You felt a little bashful; you had only ever really sung to your sweet bunnies, and with your mom in the car

Kenshin was now nudging your neck with his nose, like the rabbits.

You couldn’t help but smile, Kenshin is the bunny lord, after all, so singing to him would be like singing to your rabbits.

You continued to sing the whole afternoon, Kenshin love the sound of your soft voice

Since that day, Kenshin would often try and convince you to sing to him when his head rested on your lap. He would usually hum along to the tune of the songs

And every time you sang to him, the army of bunnies would gather and listen to your sweet singing while nuzzling you lovingly. It's hard to feel homesick when your new home is filled with so much love

I hope you enjoyed it dear! and once again thanx for the request friend❤!

Hehe so the songs in here are:

ELVIS BLUE - REDE OM TE GLO

Bok van Blerk - De la Rey

Parlotones - Colourful

a-ha - Manhattan Skyline (hehe so this one is actually a Norwegian band, but omw they are so good and they are legit my mom and I favorite band! We have lots of memories attached to these songs so I felt like I just had to add it)

#ikesen mitsuhide #uesugi kenshin #mitsuhide #oda nobunaga #ikesen nobunaga #akechi mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #kenshin uesugi #kenshin ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku headcan #ikemen sengoku headcanons #ikesen headcanons #ikesen headcanon #ikesen hc #mitsuhide hc #singing hc

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aconitemare · 5 years

Text

[jaydick] Before That, And Colder

Chapter Four

AO3

Previous Chapter

Dick kicks his foot in the air repeatedly, inspecting the pink flowers on his white Oxfords. He’s pretending to ignore the people around him — possibly, he is actually ignoring them, as the outlines of their bodies blur around his fancy footwear. He leans farther back on Jason’s desk, conjuring the picture of ease. To his left rests Jason’s Red Hood helmet in a gargoyle-fashion. Everyone here knows Jason Todd is the Red Hood, but Dick is just Richie Grayson, D-list celebrity. The sleeves of his pretentiously silk bomber jacket, embroidered with colorful roosters, slip slightly down his shoulder.

“Is this really the best time to be hiring people? Specifically this person?” This question comes from James — or “Wingman,” as Jason earlier informed him of. James is up-and-coming, bat-themed, Gotham-based vigilante who believes the Red Hood is absolutely critical to public safety. Dick has not yet shared this detail with Batman, having only received it an hour before this current meeting, but he’s hoping they’ll share a good laugh over that.

“No time like the present,” Jason says without much concern. He stands beside the desk, a few feet from Dick.

Dick catches James crossing his arms from the corner of his eyes. The defensive body language convinces him to focus more on the arrangement of people. Suzie Su still sits on the recliner, seemingly indifferent. Her sisters, one of which Dick recognizes as the waitress who intercepted him and Miguel earlier, flock around Su either on the couch or near her armrest; all except for Night, Dick’s blackjack dealer yesterday, who now occupies a distant corner of the room by herself. Miguel sits in the recliner opposite Suzie Su, playing with his tie. James stands the closest to Dick and Jason and busies himself with looking like he eats nails for breakfast.

“The son of Bruce Wayne is hardly a sound addition to the Outlaws,” James points out.

Suzie Su’s head swivels towards Jason. “Oh, no,” she says, suddenly invested, “Whatever ‘the outlaws’ is, count me out of it. I’m going legit, you promised!”

Jason takes a page from Dick’s book and seats himself on the corner of his desk. He grips the edge, knees spread, so that he looks like he’s riding a horse. For an unstably diverse crowd, he’s rather at ease at the head of it, Dick notes. Jason holds up a silencing finger and begins his address, “Firstly, the Outlaws are too legit for any mere mortal to handle, that includes you, Su, so stuff it. Secondly, James, you can also stuff it because no one’s inviting Richie Rich onto the team except you, it would seem.”

So, does that mean I don’t get to see the Super Secret Clubhouse and make friendship bracelets? Dick almost says. Instead, he receives a text alert and checks his phone to see Bruce left him a message.

What is your plan of action? it reads.

Dick quickly shoots back a non-committal text, wary of Jason sensing Batman’s concern through the phone. Luckily, Jason doesn’t pay Dick’s texting any mind, preoccupied with his stand-off against Wingman.

James persists, undeterred by Jason’s skilled dismissal. “Batman isn’t exactly in your corner, Todd. He is, however, in Wayne’s pocket. As is Richie Grayson.”

Dick frowns; his current persona is apparently no longer a good fit. He will need to adjust accordingly. Dick sits up straighter on the desk and tucks his legs. “I have my own funds, as a matter of fact,” he speaks up. Jason’s eyes slice into him — oh, right, Dick’s not supposed to talk while meeting the in-laws. Oh, well. He continues, “I work for the Bludhaven Police Department.”

Dick touches his jacket collar and inspects the interior fabrice. “I try to dress nice when there might be cameras so I don’t make Bruce look bad, but most of it’s bought off-price at Marshalls.” This last part is a lie as he rarely buys his own photo op clothes. Bruce has a personal stylist who keeps everyone’s wardrobe at the Manor stocked. Dick hit up his old bedroom on the way to the hotel.

“You’re a cop,” James repeats.

Dick holds back a wince. So much for Agent 37’s kick-ass undercover portfolio. “Every cop’s a little dirty in the ‘Haven,” he says, hopefully smoothly.

Unfortunately, James does not find this comforting. “So not only are you a cop who knows about the Iceberg’s business, but you’re not even a good cop?”

Dick points at Jason. “He murders people,” he deflects.

Jason sighs obnoxiously loud. “Richie has information and contacts,” Jason increases his volume when James looks like he wants to say something else, “neither of which are anyone’s business at the moment but mine. Believe it or not, but I’m pretty attached to my life, in both a literal and figurative sense, and so if I say the guy from that one lady-service Pantene commercial is going to keep my organs safely inside my body, rest assured, I have done my research.”

This standing ovation inspires Dick to wonder whether Jason saw that commercial on cable or some other venue. He tries and fails to imagine Jason watching Friends reruns. Maybe he caught it off some gun review video on Youtube. This is the kind of media Dick assumes Jason consumes.

“Great to know,” says Suzie Su flatly. “So, Richie, who’s trying to whack our boss?”

“No one yet. There have been no attempts on his life thus far,” Dick responds. Then, “Also, you can just call me Dick.”

“Shouldn’t be too tough,” Suzie Su remarks.

“The situation will escalate, though,” James states, “There is no doubt that Red Hood is the final target.”

“Correct. Which is why it’s important that we trust each other,” Dick says. He levels a gaze at everyone in the room except for James, which should indicate to him that he’s the object of criticism without presenting Dick as outwardly hostile. “If we are too busy suspecting each other without any evidence, we allow for outside threats to slip past our radar.” Dick can only hope they will take this to heart; it will be harder for him to investigate Jason’s people if they’re also investigating him.

“Truth,” Miguel agrees as he stands to his feet and walks towards Dick. “Although it kind of worked out for us this time, right? You following me, us following you?” As he approaches, he extends a hand and Dick dismounts from the desk. “Welcome to the team, Dick,” Miguel says, clapping Dick on the shoulder as they shake. His smile is warm and sincere. Dick feels an equally genuine grin spread across his face.

“Alright, alright,” Jason says, leaning from his spot on the desk to bat an arm at them. “What did I just say about teams, dude,” he gripes. Miguel shrugs rather blithely before he returns to his chair. Dick appreciates what he hopes will be the one easy-going personality in this tense bunch.

Jason claps his hands together and stands. “Okay, here’s the deal: I want someone always watching my vehicle for the next, fuck, two weeks, I guess? One week?” He looks to Dick for confirmation. Dick mouths, ‘longer.’ “One week to start, cool,” Jason locks in his answer. “I don’t mean from the cameras, as I really am hoping to catch this person ASAP and get back to my regularly scheduled gangbanging.”

Dick watches the crowd: Miguel gives a whoop, Suzie Su rolls her eyes, one of the sisters not standing in the corner laughs.

“So, that means I need you,” Jason flourishes his arm in the air and brings it dramatically down like a hammer, finger pointing sharply at Miguel, “to physically be in the parking lot.”

Miguel looks around in bafflement. “I’m the owner. That would look weird,” he says, gesturing towards himself.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure everyone is lining up for your autograph, too, now come off it. No one here is instantly recognizable except for me, and that’s mostly to do with the helmet,” Jason pats the helmet beside him emphatically, “giving me serious red Darth Vader vibes.”

Dick suppresses a laugh. Jason hears him anyway, but that turns out to be not so bad. Jason’s eyes flicker towards him but they’re absent of reproach, which is how Dick realizes he had expected to be growled at for his humor. But Jason made the joke, didn’t he? He goes so far as to smile, not threateningly, but pleasantly. Dick wants to call it soft even.

Jason’s eyes are back on the ragtag team within the second. He explains properly his reasoning to Miguel. “The subject’s abilities and target range are unknown to us. You’re our safest bet for handling whatever he might be capable of. And you can wear whatever you want.” Dick assumes that last bit is weighted with the implication of a supersuit, although Miguel’s secret identity may very well be known considering the lack of visible confusion on anyone’s face. Of course, that could just be indifference; no one in this room seems particularly interested in each other.

“If you see someone snooping, wait it out. If you see someone put something on my bike, apprehend them and bring them to me where I can then proceed to shoot their brains out,” Jason instructs. Dick tries to say something, but Jason says over his attempt, “If they’re guilty.”

“Not really the problem,” Dick mutters.

“The Su Brigade can, I don’t know, keep doing what you’re doing, I guess? Keep an eye on suspicious figures.”

Dick chimes in, “This time, however, immediately report to Jason or myself. Don’t rush in unless the threat is urgent. Don’t,” he motions to James, “text James, or whatever it is you guys did. That was sloppy and uncoordinated.”

James shifts his weight more evenly. Dick instantly recognizes the implicit challenge and straightens his back. “Text you, huh? What, you the boss now?”

Dick files through his possible responses, weighs the best tone to take, the stance to adopt. Should he pick up the gauntlet and try to assert dominance, or go for diplomacy? He doubts this will come to blows, but the direction he takes this could have later consequences, could affect Jason’s safety even in the long-run.

Dick almost misses the change in Jason’s posture, but it’s instantaneous. “He’s close enough,” Jason has already spoken, no longer leaning against the desk but standing with his hands deceptively plunged into his jeans pockets and his searing green eyes locked on James. “More the boss than you are, at any rate, so yeah, I’d text him.” He sounds almost casual, accent set in a lazy Gotham drawl, yet there’s an angered click to how he sets his teeth. He’s intimidating, alright, the sharp cut of his cheeks complementing his strong jaw. He’s quite Hollwood-esque actually, Dick thinks — at least before he realizes Jason is looking right back at him. Jason raises his eyebrows and spins his fingers in a prompting manner. “Well? Anything else you’d like to derail the meeting with, Dick?”

And just like that, Jason manages to personally undermine the power he just gave him. Dick is bordering on impressed, restrained only by his sudden irritation. Dick simply smiles and says, “You’re the boss.”

“Fantastic. James! How do you feel about interrogating people you can’t beat up?” Jason proposes to the next member of the non-team.

Dick thinks James could question people without beating them up just fine, especially after the practice he got in while interrogating Dick. James doesn’t comment on whether he’s up to the task, however, but replies, “Who am I interrogating?”

Jason grins and quickly bows his body. “A witness. Exciting, right? Unfortunately, no, not exciting. This will suck for you. Daniel Garcia, the second victim, should be at Gotham General Hospital — fingers crossed he has insurance, because otherwise you’ll have to find out where he lives and talk to him there.”

Dick could be projecting, but he thinks James puffs up his chest at this. “I can find anyone anywhere,” vows James.

“I’ve no doubt, buddy. I just would prefer he not have to relive everything the second he gets home because a stranger wants to hear the gory details,” Jason explains. His tone is slightly scolding. There might be some decency in him yet. Dick immediately feels guilty for being surprised. Jason is a good guy. A good guy. He’s said as much to Bruce. Did he forget to tell himself the same thing?

“Bring some flowers to soften things,” Dick suggests.

“Flowers don’t soften a crowbar, Dick,” Jason disagrees. Still, he adds for James, “But yeah, bring flowers. The family won’t like you for it, but they’ll hate you even more if you don’t.”

“Do we have to do anything?” Suzie Su asks, a little unhappily, it would seem. Dick doesn’t trust her. Then again, would she be so openly disloyal if she was double-crossing? The only person in this room Dick trusts is Miguel — and even then, if there’s one thing Batman has been trying to drill into him for half his life, it’s that trust is a liability. Anyone here could logically be a mole. Anyone here could be loyal, too.

“No, Suzie Su, I expect absolutely nothing from you and that’s why I dragged you to a staff meeting, so you could sit on your ass and pick at your nails,” Jason intones. Suzie Su drops her manicured nails to her lap and glares at him. Jason sticks his tongue out in response. “You and your lovely sisters of questionable bloodline are my ears to the ground.”

“So, same as before?”

Jason cocks his head, shakes it up and down as if weighing the question, and says, “K-i-i-i-i-nd of? It’s like what you were doing before, but not complete garbage. Need I remind you that you let this idiot into my office.” Jason jabs his thumb in Dick’s direction.

Miguel raises his finger. He’s properly relaxed in his cushiony recliner, legs crossed and arms spilling over the back. “Ah, but you let the idiot stay,” he reminds Jason.

Dick twists his lips. “Thanks, Miguel. Or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Jason decides. “Alright, everyone out of my office and onto the things I demand of you. Dick, you’re coming with me.”

The crowd is already dispersing. Dick hops off the desk and pats the wrinkles from his pants. “Why’s that? I thought you didn’t want me breathing down your neck.”

Jason’s back is to Dick as he fastens his Red Hood helmet over his head, which tips Dick off that some of his people outside the office might still not know who’s under the mask. Jason’s response is rougher than before. “You saw the tapes, didn’t you?” The energy from only a minute ago has melted from his voice. The helmet lights up then and Jason’s next words are modulated, shrouded in static. “That makes you the expert.”

Dick does not miss the irony of this statement.

___________

Dick has Jason drive him to Bludhaven. Jason has many cars and not a single one is worth less than $80,000. “How do you blend in?” Dick asked on the way to his shitty apartment across the pond, Jason looking absolutely put-upon by the half-hour drive. His Red Hood helmet has been stowed away in a personally customized, hidden compartment. “I don’t,” Jason simply replied. Dead guys, according to Jason, don’t need to feign poverty. Especially if those dead guys are better known for their underground empires and resort casinos. However, two rich men in a luxury vehicle don’t have much business commiserating with the family of boys like Terry Weind. So, the two stop by Bludhaven to pick up Dick’s Saturn and allow him to change into less flamboyant clothes.

Dick chooses a threadbare BPD t-shirt and jeans. Jason stays in his signature ensemble of leather jacket and combat boots. He raises his brows at Dick’s outfit, but Dick insists it’s a good choice. Even if they don’t like the police, he’s still out of uniform and unarmed, and they’ll know this isn’t his territory. He’ll seem like a commuter, which might even win him some subconscious sympathy; many people in downtown Gotham have to commute to Bludhaven, albeit usually for a fishery job and not the police department.

Jason waits in the car for Dick to come out. Dick invites him in, but secretly he’s relieved. The place is a mess. If how he keeps his office is a hint, Jason’s habits are immaculate. They would put Dick to shame. Dick taps Jason’s window to signal they’re switching to the Saturn. Jason takes an excessively long time to part with his car, all but cooing at it, but does eventually make it over. He settles into the passenger seat, looking Dick up and down.

“What?” Dick asks, perhaps defensively. He should’ve said something like, “Like what you see?” but it’s too late for that.

Jason shrugs casually, but his eyes flicker to Dick’s hair. “Nothing. You just look normal now.”

Dick jams his keys into the ignition, because he has to be rough for the car to start, and rolls his eyes. “You mean my hair’s not gay?”

“Eh. Less gay.” And then Jason is reaching out and ruffling his hair, fingers curling through the still-damp waves. Dick stuck his hair under the bathroom sink’s faucet before putting his shirt on. He got water everywhere, but he needed to get the product out. He weirdly hopes Jason doesn’t feel any lingering stickiness, that his hair is soft to touch.

Jason’s face abruptly screws up in confusion as if he isn’t sure how he got here. Slowly, he retracts his hand and sits straight in his seat. Dick didn’t notice how open Jason’s body language was just a moment ago, but he notices how it closes. His knees no longer point towards Dick but to the windshield; his arms, once extended towards him, now fold across his chest. Dick stares at him for a moment, trying to piece together the puzzle he suspects they almost had.

Jason’s presence always has that mystifying effect on him, however, like he’s a monument to all the almosts they’ve been. When Jason was Robin, they were almost friends. When he was the Red Hood, they were almost enemies. Then they might have been brothers, could have been, maybe. There had been that night on the rooftop when Dick had managed to slip through Spyral’s many fingers — when Barbara had run away and Damian had embraced him and Tim demanded why, why — Jason had drawn blood as his voice broke because you don’t do that to your. Almost.

They are always on the verge of some new meaning.

“Well?” asks Jason. “Are you waiting for me to set up the GPS? You know the address, let’s go.”

Dick quickly recovers and begins edging out from his spot between two other parked cars on the street. “What are we, drag racing? Jeesh.” They avoid traffic for the drive over but do swing into a corner store once they’re in Gotham again. Jason buys the most expensive bouquet available while Dick fiddles with a rack of playing cards. Pokémon? Magic? Would Terry care about either of those games? He sees Jason head to the counter and grabs a random card pack to check out. His phone buzzes in his pocket just as he finishes counting off the dollar bills. He hands the cashier $16 and unlocks his phone. It’s from Bruce.

Any progress?

Dick begins typing out an answer when he remembers the boundaries he agreed on with Jason. He said he wouldn’t share any details with Bruce unless Jason okay’d it. He could let Jason know Bruce is asking, but even mentioning Bruce tends to sour him. Dick would rather get through this meeting with Terry Weind first. He makes a mental note to inform Jason later and give Bruce a non-answer if he says no.

Ten minutes later and they’re standing on narrow porch steps. The wooden planks are dark and splintery and covered in cigarette butts where an ash tray has been knocked down. Dick squats down and picks it up; ceramic, woodsy-green and leaf-shaped. He sets it atop the paint-chipped banister while Jason knocks on the door. The walls are thin enough that Dick can trace the sound of someone walking down the stairs. It’s summery outside today, the earth baked through by the sun, but he’s thinking of winters down here. Even with a good furnace, these walls must let the chill in.

A woman opens the door in her nightgown, one hand on the knob and the other on the frame. Her eyes are red and the skin beneath them sags. Her skin is almost ashen. She looks tired. She is tired, she’s exhausted, Dick can feel it when he looks at her. Her exhaustion is a heavy substance that spreads out and sinks into his flesh.

“Are you Terry’s mom?” Jason asks. He has the flowers already at his chest. His voice is stiff with emotion. Dick recalls his comment about Daniel reliving trauma and wonders if that’s what Jason is doing right now.

The woman nods and says that, yes, she is, but little changes in her expression. Dick had been expecting confusion, but she accepts the flowers without hesitation. Evidently, they are not remotely the first ones to share condolences. “My name’s Laura,” she says, touching the waxy petal of a calla lily. Her voice is soft and deep as if it’s been anchored to the bottom of the ocean.

“I’m Jason.”

“Dick,” Dick says after him.

Laura opens her mouth silently for a few seconds before carefully telling them, “I appreciate you boys coming here and wishing us well. It’s been hard, but we’re grateful to the community’s response, it’s been wonderful. I hope you don’t mind me not inviting you in, it’s just that I work grave and don’t get much sleep, and Terry’s resting.”

“We understand. But actually, we’re not just here to offer our sympathy — though you do have it, of course,” Dick conveys. He rushes the words of each clause so his speech comes out in quick, nervous chunks. He’s dipping head, taking up as little room as possible while moving closer to her. Jason takes a step back to accommodate him. He wants to represent himself as sincere, perhaps too sincere to the point of being clumsy. People often think inept and trustworthy are the same thing; the logic goes, you can’t be hiding any tricks up your sleeve if you’re more likely to spill them on the floor.

“If you turn us away, we get it, don’t worry,” assures Dick, “but this is our city and our kids are getting snatched.”

Laura begins shaking her head. “Oh, no, he’s not answering any questions — ”

“We won’t ask as many questions as the police,” Dick hurries to say. “We don’t need to. We,” here, Dick breaks off his speech and looks uncertainly at Jason, feigning hesitance. Then he takes a galvanizing breath, readying for his big leap, this information he’s sharing only with Laura. “I work part-time at the Park Row Memorial. I’m a guard, similar work to what I do with the Bludhaven Police. We have it monitored 24/7 so it doesn’t become a high-crime area again.” Dick sighs in frustration and bites his lips. “Laura,” he says firmly, staring into her eyes. Her pupils have dilated along his story. Good. “I saw Terry that night. The police haven’t even asked Park staff yet, they don’t care. But I saw it happen and I think I can do something about it.”

The best cover story is always based in reality. The best lies are true.

Laura’s eyes drop the ground as she thinks. She’s also biting her lip. Dick ponders over whether she does that often and Dick got lucky, or if she’s mirroring him. Either way, he’s won her over. She shuffles to the side and waves them in, her movements less languid than before.

She leads them to the stairwell and says, “If he doesn’t want to answer questions, he doesn’t have to. I’m not going to force him, you got it? Get what you can and hope it’s useful.” With this, she climbs the steps to the second floor, Jason and Dick following at an appropriate distance. They pause at the top step while she enters Terry’s room and explains in hushed tones his guests. She relates Dick’s reason for being here and then there’s a long pause before Dick detects a faint, “Sure.”

Dick and Jason share a look that confirms: they’re in. Laura places a light hand on Jason’s bicep and guides them to the door. “I’ll stand right here,” she says firmly and waves them forward. Dick looks around for a chair, sees none, and settles on the windowsill facing Terry’s bed. He’s faired better than the next two kids, all injuries considered. He was out of the hospital in a month. He lies in his twin-sized mattress beneath a crisp sheet, a blue comforter shoved to the foot of his bed. A square bandage covers his right cheek, there’s stitching over his right eyebrow, and there’s more stitches on the right side of his skull. His right arm and knee have been set in casts. Dick remembers him curling onto his side at one point in the video.

In the wake of the other victims’ hospital records (courtesy of Oracle), Terry’s assault had been carried out with perfunctory brutality. Dick recollects the scene but recalls no hesitation in the attacker’s swings, yet their violence has clearly increased. Perhaps they are doing someone else’s dirty work and the job has just now awakened a taste for pain in them. Or maybe it’s one guy after all and they’re adjusting to the role.

“So, you know the fucker who did this?” Terry speaks up first. His voice is a little rough and definitely fatigued. Despite his current infirmity, Dick can tell he’s a sturdy kid. He’s got the same build Jason had at that age, youthfully broad with natural muscle in the absence of training. A body with room to grow in.

Dick shrugs. “Not personally. But we hold out hope. What did his face look like? Any defining features?” he attempts, even knowing that Terry’s report claimed to make out nothing from the night of the attack.

Terry was looking at Jason beforehand, which Dick can’t blame him for. Jason takes up most of the room as he stands by Terry’s feet, stock straight with his massive arms folded. Dick has a habit of downsizing Jason in his head. In general, Dick’s guilty of subconsciously diminishing certain people’s threat levels, letting his familiarity with them obscure the danger they still pose. He does his best to put himself in Terry’s shoes and see what he might see; he accomplishes this by summoning the first night he encountered the Red Hood before he was also Jason Todd, fallen boy wonder. Even without the vigilante get-up, the man’s intimidating.

Now that Dick has asked a question, however, Terry’s eyes appraise him. Dick once again folds in on himself, tucking his arms closer to his sides and leaning back so he’s as out of Terry’s space as he can be. Then Terry’s eyes stray to the floor and he mumbles, “Looked like nothing. It was dark.” But he doesn’t say it like it was nothing.

“You saw something,” Dick contests. He’s not going to wheedle or coax, he decides, because that would just leave Terry room to equivocate. “You don’t know what you saw, but you saw something, and whatever that is will help us more than pretending there weren’t streetlamps.”

Terry grimaces. The twitch of his battered face reminds Dick of his age and his heart aches. There should be a grace period for children, an exception made for those still new to this earth. He hates that pain is one of the first things they learn. “He was white, I guess,” Terry supplies. His good fingers have found a loose thread on the hem of his pushed-down sheets. He picks at it. “He never said a word the whole time. It was quiet. He — I saw his hands. I thought, I thought the police would find his thumbprints or whatever, on me, but that’s not how it works, they said. They were all fucked up.”

“The hands or the police?” Jason interjects.

Terry doesn’t look up from his loose thread, but one half of his mouth pulls up into a faint, flickering smile. It manages to be bright even so. “The hands. There were old scars all over the knuckles. Dry, too, like he never heard of lotion.”

Dick supposes the attacker could work in manual labor, but it’s unlikely if there were truly that many scars and all old. “Just the knuckles?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

Dick guesses he’s experienced with combat. The ugly, close-up kind. Still, just the knuckles, that sounds more like punishment than accident. And the dry skin? That could easily be eczema, although wouldn’t a seasoned killer think to cover up, prevent skin follicles from falling into a lab tech’s hands? It is summer, but Gotham runs more humid than dry, so perhaps they’re dealing with a foreigner. “And the face?” he prompts.

Terry abruptly drops his hand from the nervous thread and sighs raggedly. “Nothing, man. I couldn’t see anything, okay, it was,” Terry falters, “confusing.”

“Confusing how?” Jason asks.

“I don’t know!” Terry’s voice pitches in frustration. “It was weird, all swirly and shit.”

Dick can hear the criticism leak into Jason’s tone when he curtly repeats, “Swirly.”

Terry backpedals. “I said I don’t know,” he mutters.

Swirly voices sound familiar to Dick. He used to have one for a time when he played James Bond for Spyral. “I think we might have a contact, Jay,” Dick muses.

“Really?” Jason says with noticeable surprise. “Swirly’s our big break?”

“Emphasis on the might and ixnay on the big.” To Terry, he says, “Tell me, does tsuchigumo ring any bells?”

Terry’s face scrunches up. “Does what huh?”

Dick will take that as a no. “Oh, well. Still worth looking into,” he says. Dick stands and retrieves the card pack from his plastic bag. He holds it up for Terry to see before setting it down on the bed. Terry takes it immediately and brings it up to his face for inspection. “Your mom has the flowers. I wasn’t sure what to get you, but let me know if you need or want anything. Oh.” Dick swivels his head around the room. There’s not much to it aside from a bed, a dresser, and a box T.V. collecting dust. “Do you have something I can write my number on?”

Jason chooses that moment to step forward, sliding between Dick and where Terry lies. He leans across, a crisp, laminated paper balanced between his index and middle finger. “Here’s my card. Let me know if you have any more information or if either of you need help,” he explains. Terry sets Dick’s gift down and gingerly accepts the card. He flips it over: no logo, just a phone number.

“That’s it?” says Terry. “What contact? Who did this?”

“It’s too soon to tell. I wish I had more to give you two,” Dick says sympathetically to Terry and Laura, the latter of whom hasn’t left her post by the door. She rests her cheek on the frame and watches on.

Terry has more questions though and he’s edging on excited. “Are you P.I.’s? Why do you even care? I bet you fucking did this, or one of your boys — ”

“I understand your distrust,” Dick says over him. He glances nervously at Laura to gauge what she thinks of the accusation and if she’s about to step in. She’s a little straighter, body no longer depending on the wall, but her face is still impassive if alert. Dick hurries to smooth this over. “You don’t know us well enough to understand why we care. We have to prove ourselves, I get that. And we will. Until then, you’ve got nothing to lose, right? All we know is you didn’t see anything.”

Terry stares at him silently, suspicion darkening his eyes. There is risk in coming here, of course, depending on how well Terry’s attacker can trace Jason’s footsteps. But Dick has already weighed the risks and he’s betting that Terry’s part is done here insofar as the criminal is concerned. Luckily, Terry can’t identify what he’s got to lose or how much he has told them between the lines, so the charges drop like that.

There’s a few beats of silence before Jason starts fidgeting. “Yea-a-a-h, we’re going to go now,” he announces, pointing over his shoulder towards the window. Dick could cringe, he’s so awkward.

“Thanks to both of you,” Dick says and smiles as warmly as he can. He trails closely behind Jason who shuffles towards the door, his body too tall and too broad to fit comfortably in the modest room. Unthinking, the pads of Dick’s fingers feather over Jason’s back as if to guide him forward. As Jason moves, Dick lets his fingers linger in the air, covering up the touch with empty space. He curls his fingers in and tucks them behind his back. Laura follows them out.

“Thank you again,” Dick says at the door. “We’ll be in touch if anything develops,” he promises. And he will be; if not as Dick then certainly as Nightwing.

Laura thanks them half-heartedly. Dick suddenly feels self-conscious about the Pokémon cards. He may as well have given them a box with nothing inside it or a flashlight without a bulb. He heads back to the car, feeling Laura’s heavy gaze on his shoulders the whole way.

Dick is buckling himself in when Jason opens the passenger door. “Mind sharing with the class what information was so decisive you had no further questions?” he asks as he climbs into the car.

“No questions Terry could answer. This is the best we can do for a lead,” Dick explains. He needs to make a call, but that will have to wait until they’re on the road and not idling outside a victim’s house. Maybe he can take them to a restaurant, buy Jason a drink, a friendly gesture. Would Jason want to drink with him though?

“Yeah, about that,” Jason says as the car shoots off, “what lead?”

Scratch the drink; neither of them are lightweights, but on principle, they shouldn’t drink during an ongoing investigation. Still, he could buy them some sub sandwiches. He used to buy food for Tim all the time back in the day, as a reprieve from the typical Batman and Robin style of accidentally fasting until the case is resolved.

They reach a redlight almost immediately. Dick drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “Spyral uses this tech called ‘Hypnos 2.0.’ They slide in kind of like contacts? They’re eye implants basically, but they transmit information between your brain and the brain of whoever’s looking at you. Their most common application was hiding your identity. If someone looked at you, they’d just see a scrambled mess instead of a face.”

Jason’s face scrunches up as he stares out the windshield. He scratches his head. “Scrambled like Picasso or.”

The light turns green. “More like a spiral,” Dick says lightly, nodding conversationally.

“Thematic,” Jason comments.

“Very. And the uniforms weren’t too shabby either.” He adds the joke more to test the waters than anything, gauge how delicate a topic Spyral is between them. Everyone in their family has a slightly different relationship with Dick’s double life. Bruce and Damian’s have been the easiest, marked by faint curiosity about his activities and begrudging acceptance of help from associated colleagues. The others have been noticeably more dodgy and uncomfortable regarding for Spyral. Dick’s stint as as Agent 37 has made everyone evasive, even for bats.

If Jason would normally have an emotional reaction to Spyral, he’s too preoccupied for one now. Dick can practically see the gears in his mind turning as his eyes narrow and his chin falls to rest on his hand. Dick feels simultaneously relief and shame; of course, Spyral is just a lead. Spyral may have been Dick’s life at one point, but to Jason, it’s just an organization. At best, contacting Spyral could save his life. At worst, well, Dick’s not expecting Jason to unpack whatever baggage Dick left in Gotham.

Dick resists the urge to grimace at his own thoughts. He’s overthinking. Can one overthink a ruthless spy agency that up until a year ago controlled his every movement?

Jason’s voice, slow and thick with the sound of a city that’s always been his, reels Dick back to shore. “Dare I ask what the uniform entailed?”

“Cargo pants,” Dick answers simply. He’s watching the road ahead, but he can hear Jason make a pleasantly surprised noise. They pass a fire hydrant painted to look like a sunflower. Dick thinks it’d be nice for Bludhaven to do that and makes a note to push the idea at city hall after the case.

“So, you think that this guy is from Spyral?” Jason asks.

Dick shrugs. “That, or he’s connected enough to snag some tech. We should check first with the other two victims, see if their descriptions match up with Terry’s. If they do, it’s probably Spyral and not some low-grade black market street vendor. Nine of out ten optometrists do not recommend mind control contact lenses.”

Jason slams his hand down on the middle compartment. “Mind control?” he exclaims. When Dick glances at him, Jason’s expression is mostly shock with a sliver of what might be plain rage. But that would be an overreaction considering all the other crimes Spyral is guilty of. All the crimes they’re guilty of, especially Red Hood, although making that argument would be more trouble than it’s worth.

Dick tries not to let Jason’s sheer judgment weigh on him. Dick has far more pressing guilt elsewhere to torture himself over. Still, it’s hard not to feel righteous rage on Jason’s behalf. He often forgets this part of Jason’s character, this abrupt sense of justice that powers him, but it’s no less prominent than it is in Bruce or himself. It might actually be stronger in Jason, a little left of center, but bleeding red nonetheless. Unfortunately, car safety dictates Dick not be on the receiving end of justice, so he replies as casually as possible, “Well, that’s what Hypnos is, essentially.”

“No way.” Jason points an accusatory finger that Dick sees from his peripheral. A street corner features a hot dog stand. Dick nearly pulls over, but the finger might kill whatever buzz a chili dog can offer. “Don’t ‘that’s-what-Hypnos-is-Jason- obviously ’ me. You just said it transmits info.”

Dick did not think his tone had come off condescending in the least. But if that’s what Jason got from it, then perhaps he missed casual and landed on dismissive. Bludhaven must be eroding his tact already. “Sorry. When I said it transmits information, I meant it as a blanket statement for everything it does. Hypnos can alter memories, which is more-or-less how the identity protection works, by modifying one’s memory of a face. It can send someone a location address or really anything you have stored in your own memory, which is helpful. It can also send orders.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s helpful, too,” Jason derides. He looks like he smelled something bad. Was Dick this perturbed by Hypnos when he first joined Spyral? He doesn’t think so. He had been so quickly embroiled in so many terrible things. What was a little crowd control in the face of cold, efficient, and constant murder?

The guns. The feel of one is his hand like death itself, how they loomed in his bedroom and among his gear, beckoning him closer to an edge everyone wanted to push him off of. The guns had overshadowed all else for him.

“Either way,” Dick carries on, “it’s unlikely this guy has his hands on Spyral tech without Spyral knowing something about him. They keep close enough watch over people that have nothing to do with them, let alone people that have access to their technology. He could be anywhere from an engineer to a passing contact, but he’s no ghost.”

“Terrific. Exactly what I need, a mind-controlling stalker from an quasi-omniscient spy organization hellbent running around on the streets of Gotham.”

Dick shrugs. “Gotham’s had it worse.”

“Have I?”

“I don’t know. Have you?” Dick retorts.

Jason scowls. “Wouldn’t be my first assassination attempt, I suppose,” he concedes.

Dick perks up and offers him a grin. “And it won’t be your last!” he crows.

Jason just stares at him, utterly perplexed. His brows are furrowed and his mouth is curled above his teeth in bewilderment.

“Because you’ll be alive,” Dick hurriedly explains. “You know, like, woohoo!” He takes one hand off the wheel to pump the air triumphantly.

“Woohoo,” Jason repeats hollowly. “Insanity.”

“What?” asks Dick. They will be coming up on the grinder shop soon. Should he suggest lunch to Jason or just drag him in? He’s leaning towards dragging. That seems more effective.

“That we’re all just living to hopefully get killed a day that’s not tomorrow,” Jason observes.

It’s not more cynical than funny, but something in Jason’s tone — the utter resignation, perhaps — makes Dick laugh anyway. “Everyone on earth’s on borrowed time, really,” he says, not unhappily. Death hasn’t frightened him since he was young. Exposure therapy, he called it once during some Titans mission that feels a lot farther in the past than it is. “The reckless and foolhardy like us, we’re just more aware of it.”

Jason blows air out from his nose in a mix between a snort and a laugh. “And here I thought vigilante-types were less aware of their own mortality.”

“Are you kidding? You have to know you’re walking towards death to find that exact path each night. Snatched purses, drug rings, elitist assassins dressed as owls, fear gas and escaped convicts and murderous clowns — and we run right towards them with open arms,” Dick says, irony guiding his grin as Jason smirks back at him.

“And open chest cavities, half the the time,” Jason tacks on.

Dick nods fervently. “Yes, let’s not forget that,” he tries to say seriously, but laughter trips him on the last word. “I don’t know. I think it’s all very sane, actually, to see what’s going on and get involved, do what you can to make everything a little bit better. But too much sanity can look like insanity, for sure.”

Jason does snort this time. “Keep moralizing like that and you’ll sound straight out of a conversation between the Joker and B.”

Dick wrinkles his nose. “Ew. I hope not.”

“‘We’re the same, you and I,’” Jason croons in a wispy, sing-song voice. “‘Sane and in-sane.’”

Dick can make out the small, white-background-red-letters sign of Hester’s Grinders a few yards down the road. There’s just enough room before the fire hydrant — this one plain, chipped red — to safely park. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll keep my philosophies to myself. And so long as we’re changing the subject — hungry?”

Previous Chapter

#jaydick #dickjay #dc #fanfiction for the void

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 years

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Homestretch....the final Cyberverse episodes... :’(

Season 3: Episodes 21 - 26

Episode 21

Ok so before we start, I gotta fess up and say I got spoiled for something because Twitter Sucks, so I know Tarn is in this series. Here are my predictions about that:

Megatron said he rescued Astrotrain from a tyrant. I thought he meant an Alt!Universe version of him, but now that I know This Bastard is gonna be in it, I’m guessing it’s Tarn

If Megatron DID save Astrotrain from Tarn, it’d be hilarious if Tarn & co. weren’t actually planning to kill Astrotrain, they were just using him as transport, in which case Megatron essentially car-jacked (train-jacked?) them.

As much as I rag on Tarn and the DJD I actually do genuinely love the idea of an Autobot + Decepticon teamup against the DJD THAT WOULD BE SO FRICKIN COOL....

Anyways, on to the episode!

Pics taken 10 seconds before disaster, rip Cosmos.

MEDIA BOT and Cosmos! :D GOSH COSMOS REALLY IS CONFIRMED FOR BABY THAT”S ADORABLE.....I’m so glad he’s finally back in a cartoon

OH WHOOPS I FORGOT WINDBLADE WAS FRICKIN DEAD (ish)

LUNA 3???

The “FORBIDDEN” moon?

Chromia: You can go there anyways! Bee: Huh? Chromia: When have the rules ever stopped you before? Bee: Fair point

BRO WHY DO YOU HAVE A TOY OF SQUIDSCREAM

aw I love all those photos of him and cosmos, that’s cute

Oh no did he quit the business because he lost Cosmos???

METEOR-FIRE what a cool name

I like this dude a lot

I love that he’s obviously depressed about losing his partner but immediately gets convinced to go break into Luna 3 lmao

HE’S GOT CUTE CAMERAS WITH HIM I love that

LMAO I was gonna say “Wow you just flip the switches alright” THEN HE JUST RIPS THE CORDS OUT I love this guy

Hmm suspicious

Aw I love the space-shots of Cybertron, what a gorgeous planet....

Oh hello cannon-fodder #418

SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE!!!!!

IT”S THE GRUDGE LMAO

It’s probably a sim that shows you the scariest thing you can think of

BLURR!!! AW THAT’S SO SAD

Ok I take it back, it’s probably like MTMTE’s “Cyberutopia” thing where it reads your memory files

Watch the cameras Bee!!!

“Bee, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the alien presence has taken over my circuits” *HEAD DOES A 180* GOSH I LOVE THIS FRICKIN SHOW

The facial expressions in this show are SO FUN Bee’s so expressive I love that

I like that Meteor-Fire is so chill about this, this ain’t his first rodeo

He just snaps his neck back into place that’s so freaky and they play it off so well lol

PRETTY SPACE BALL???? PRETTY SPACE BALL!!! HEY HASBRO CAN YOU MAKE A TOY OF THIS I WANT IT!!!!!!

Gosh I’d legit buy a gem like this if it had constellations engraved on it THAT’S SO PRETTY I LOVE IT

It’s a good thing that Bee’s got Meteor-Fire with him, this is his field!!!

Oh lmao JUST KIDDING I GUESS

Well so much for the alien, rest in pieces

I think Saling already said this in their liveblog but I love that Bee’s collecting Windblade’s parts a-la-Megaman X2 style

COSMOS!!!!!! Yay I’m so glad they got him back!!!

Meteor-Fire: Look everybody, Cosmos is back!!! :D ME TOO BUD I’m so excited to see my space-baby

RODDY AND ARCEE!!!! I love that Percy took over for Maccadam, but that’s also so sad!!! ALSO WHY HAS HE NOT FIXED HIS EYES, RATCHET PLEASE HELP THIS POOR GUY

Episode 22

OHH PRETTY PLANET

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The background designers on this show are great

Rodimus: That place has nothing but bad memories for me Every Drift fan simultaneously: Mood....

I really don’t think they’ll bring Drift back (unless he’s like, a zombie, which would still suck) so that’s a bummer

Rodimus: *Talking about his trauma* Me, very distracted: Wow Bee looks really cute here

SERIOUSLY THOUGH THEY NEED RUNG IN THIS SERIES They need a therapist in every Transformers series, all these bots need therapy (though tbf they tried to give Starscream therapy and that sure didn’t help, pft)

GRIMLOCK MAYBE DON’T--oh ok too late WELL THERE THEY GO

Repugnis?? I don’t remember who that is

A CITY?????? PRETTY

INSECTICON

lmao the frickin voice actor for that grey dude cracked me up

BEE MAYBE DON’T IMMEDIATELY TRUST THEM

Energon masters???? What

Interesting that they used “She” for Grimlock

Affluence??

Oh great these guys are the Cybertronian bourgeoisie

Oh boy they’re just wasting energon huh

THE SHOCKS????

That’s a pretty bubble but JEEZ

OH NO WHY CAN”T HE TRANSFORM??

WAIT WHERE”S THE AUDIO oh wait no OP did mention there was an audio dropout

Is Grimlock gonna make friends with the bugs!!!

OH RIGHT the bug is Repugnis

Aw the bugs are way nicer than the bourgeoisie, surprising absolutely no one

HELL YEAH, EAT THE RICH GRIMLOCK

“If we let you go, things will change! We like things the way they are” jeez

I wonder how the Shocks came about

It frickin figures

PRISON BREAK BEE!!!!

EAT HIM GRIMLOCK!!!

“Well this is quite astonishing” cute....

YEAH I WAS WONDERING IF THEY HAD THE SAME ALT MODE they looked like they had bug-bits, I didn’t realize that thing was keeping them from transforming though

Episode 23��

Oh right Megatron has a Matrix of Leadership I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

I ALSO FORGOT WHIRL WAS IN THIS SERIES, MY BABY.....

JETFIRE WATCH OUT YOU BIG NERD

“Rack ‘n Ruin and Ratchet” OH IS THIS GONNA BE A RATCHET EPISODE??? PLEASE?????? PLEASE SAY RATCHET EPISODE

Aw poor Rack n Ruin...

RATCHET BABY BOY!!! I forgot he was a New Yorker in this series lmao

“I LOVE Jetfire!” “I know, me too!” CUTE....

I love that every continuity has Ratchet stuck with someone who annoys him in a ship

I love that Ratchet’s not even concerned

RATCHET’S DESIGN IN CYBERVERSE IS SO CUTE...

Wait UNSPACE???? Isn’t that where they sent a bunch of bad people????

Different Quantum Frequencies??? Dimensionally aligned??? MAN I LOVE THIS GOOFY SHOW

“It’s a blue-purple” CUTE....

UH OH HERE COMES ASTROTRAIN throwing dead-end??

I love that Astrotrain is so HUGE compared to everyone else, thank you Cyberverse for my life

“Every time..” LMAO GOSH THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THE BEST someone please make a gif of that. I love that this implies that every time someone rides in Astrotrain they get ejected at 100 mph and skid 50 ft face-first, that’s such a delightful mental image. I think this 5 second scene is legitimately one of my favorite goofs / scenes in this show IT’S JUST THAT GOOD

You can tell I really enjoyed something when I make a meme of it

IT”S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!!!!!

OK IT’S LEGITIMATELY A LITTLE FRIGHTENING TO SEE HOW HUGE ASTROTRAIN IS WHEN IN ATTACK-MODE, HE SO EASILY PICKED THEM UP but that’s why it’s cool for him to be SO much bigger than they are, I LOVE BIG CYBERTRONIANS

LMAO I LOVE ASTROTRAIN he’s such a turd to DeadEnd

“Time to pay Ratchet a house-call. ‘Cuz he’s a doctor!” I almost snorted my drink up my nose, I LOVE THE DORKY HUMOR IN THIS SHOW

I swear this series was made with me in mind

TWO HEADS, NO BRAINCELLS

You wonder if Shadow Striker and Soundwave ever just rock-paper-scissor to see who has to deal with the latest Autobot bs that day

“And we don’t” OH SHOOT THEY’RE BEING LEFT OUT OF THE DECEPTICON’S PLANS TOO...This is more dire than I thought

Man I really do love Shadow Striker and Soundwave, they’re the only competent Decepticons

OH NO NOT RATCHET!!! NO!!!!!

Ohh so Astrotrain is still a triple changer in this series!! :O

WOW A SHOT TO THE HEAD REALLY DIDN”T DO ANYTHING HUH

REST IN PIECES DEADEND lmao he and Percy both have good survival stats it seems

NICE MOVES GRANDPA glad your hips still work lol

Oh good I’m glad they actually kept the purple thing

RIP Rack n Ruin

DEADEND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

YEAHHHHH SHADOW STRIKER AND SOUNDWAVE!!!!!

“You’ve been told this area is off-limits” Oh shoot so Megatron really doesn’t trust them with this huh??? Must be some serious stuff they saw while universe-hopping

“Make us” SOUNDWAVE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY SASSY BOY

Love that he’s pissing off this dude who’s literally 4 times his height, love my son

Shadow Striker & Soundwave are Goth / Jock solidarity

Ratchet: Yeah yeah yeah I know Cuteeee

Wow they’re really not gonna help Shadow Striker and Soundwave????

THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST DOLL-SIZE IN HIS HANDS which is probably a not great reminder for Soundwave after that Dr. Tentacle Dude incident

Astrotrain: *bops their faces together* heehee Soundwave: BI Shadow Striker: >8(

JEEZ, BYE ASTROTRAIN

THE STYLE IS SO JARRING I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE UNSPACE AND HOW IT LOOKS (especially when contrasted with the regular drawing-style of the show. Really great artistic choice!)

Oh shoot so Astrotrain can just leave whenever huh

Aw what cute high fives, man this show has such good vibes

Episode 24

NOOOO ONLY THREE EPISODES LEFT.....

:(((((

WINDLBADE!!!! I hope she’ll be ok

DID it work?? Wait you guys still have two frickin shards left, YOU”RE SO BAD AT THIS

A SHARK????? WTF

HE JUST PICKED HER UP AND DIPPED WTF WHO IS THAT

It’s not Skybyte obviously but he’s a shark too so WHO IS THAT

OHH IS THAT THE HALL OF RECORDS????

Wait wtf the Decepticons are attacking?? Oh wait RACK N RUIN DID YOU REALLY TELL THEM THAT

OH NO HE FROZE

WHOA WHAT”S HAPPENING

WHAT OPTIMUS NO

WHAT”S HAPPENING!!!!! WTF

I WAS GONNA MAKE A BSOD JOKE BUT I TAKE IT ALL BACK OPTIMUS PLEASE BE OK YOU CAN’T DIE IN THIS SERIES

Is this referencing the other time when he glitched oh no....I knew that’d come back to bite us

In other news, I love that we’re learning more about the life and (cyber)biology of Cybertron, I’m so glad we got to have pretty much almost the entire series set on Cybertron

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT!!! THAT’S SO COOL!!! This is the stuff I want to see in Transformers shows!!!

Hasbro could literally make a nature documentary set on Cybertron and I’d be ecstatic. Gimme more details about their world and architecture and city stuff

“Fellow Primes, why have I been summoned?” Oh shoot so the other past primes can just jack OP’s consciousness whenever??? That frickin sucks. I do love the Atlantis vibes I’m ge HOLY FRICK IS THAT MAC

AHHHHHHHH MACCADAM!!!!!!!!!!! GRANDPA!!!!!!! PLEASE GIVE OPTIMUS DAD ADVICE!!!!!! IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN

Chromia: Bee are you crazy?? Bee: YES! *jumps off the ship*

I love that this weird storm cloud area is basically like an ocean, that’s so cool

OH NO BEE!!!!!!!

Jeez that startled me, the shark sounds just like Bee

“Well you’re doing a scrap job” lmao Chromia please

Oh it’s the Argon Sea, it IS an ocean pft

“An ancient evil” hooo boy

BEE he’s so cute. Wait don’t just jump down a random hole AT LEAST WAIT FOR CHROMIA

CREEPY TENTACLE STUFF AGAIN, JEEZ CYBERVERSE

KICK HIS BUTT CHROMIA

Aw man, not you too Bee

MISTRESS OF FLAME!!!! I get so excited about every IDW reference haha, I love Caminus and I love that they’re letting that still exist

JEEZ THAT”S NOT CREEPY AT ALL

Is this a Titan???? IT IS A TITAN

It’s like a Cthulu titan huh

Chromia: That is THE creepiest thing I’ve ever heard THANK YOU CHROMIA, SAME THOUGHT

Chromia’s just like “This doesn’t even come close to my Top 10 list of BS I’ve had to deal with lately”

More weird smoke, oh great

JEEZ THAT’S A FREAKY TITAN

Me, crying softly: GAY RIGHTS....(and Bee). MAN THE FRIENSHIPS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO GREAT :’)

ALCHEMIST PRIME!!!!!!!!! I FRICKIN KNEW YOU WERE A PRIME

“But this is not about me” I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THOUGH

Wait why is a part of Windblade in Megatron’s Matrix

WHY WOULD THEY ALSO BE IN THE OTHER MATRIX oh they mean alt-universe them

It’s frickin HYSTERICAL that every time Optimus has some ~deep spiritual~ conversation with the past Primes he’s just standing there frozen while the Autobots wait for him to unfreeze like he’s some kind of ancient computer doing updates. Like, that’s legitimately one of the funniest pieces of information canon’s given us so far, thank you for my life Cyberverse writers.

I wonder if Arcee and the other bots ever take selfies with him while he’s frozen like that THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR COMEDY HERE

Optimus: *is frozen for a couple hours while talking to old Primes* Autobots: *put on PJs and unroll their sleeping bags so they can have a slumber party while waiting for him*

Heck now I’m just imagining them playing truth or dare or some similar game while waiting for Optimus to wake up.

I’m sure at some point during their voyage on the Ark, Optimus froze and they all played the “who can do this silly / embarrassing thing in front of Optimus and get away with it before he wakes up” game. Like, Rodimus somersaults down the hall while spouting fire in front of Optimus, Bee does a handstand while singing the alphabet backwards, etc, and whoever’s in front of Optimus when he “wakes up” loses. (It’d be even funnier if Optimus kept pretending to be frozen while they played until someone did something REALLY embarrassing and he unfroze to freak them out. Then again, the Matrix going back into his chest would probably be too much of a giveaway huh)

OH NO I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN THE EUPHORIA OF THIS IDEA I FORGOT THERE’S ONLY TOO EPISODES LEFT NOW....

Episode 25

I love Astrotrain’s design (both in bot-mode and his alt mode) because he just looks like a grumpy evil train and that makes me so happy.

Also RAIN!!! I love rain and this looks so pretty

LMAO ASTROTRAIN YOU’RE SUCH A TURD I had no opinion of him before this show but now I frickin love him

HE PULLED THE CHAIR OUT FROM UNDER HIM

“I HAVE HIS MATRIX” OH NO DID HE STEAL THIS FROM SHATTERED GLASS’ OPTIMUS OH FRICK

Megatron running like that while holding the Matrix in his hands reminds me so vividly of a younger sibling stealing their older sibling’s diary and fleeing at top-speed from said older sibling and that’s hilarious to me. Megatron is so petty

Dang, so that’s how his eye got messed up. Ngl it’s a good look

CYBER COWS!!!!

Wow that wall is so WEAK the Decepticons are so dumb lmao

Oh yeah they have a new furry on their team

Rodimus: Math isn’t my strong-suit.

Arcee: Especially me! Arcee you are ADORABLE

OH SHOOT MEGATRON CAN TALK TO THE PAST PRIMES TOO...DANG

WINDBLADE!!! MAKE WINDBLADE A PRIME YOU COWARDS

Ok I know I said “Shattered-Glass Optimus” earlier but based on that spoiler some moron on Twitter posted, IT’S PROBABLY TARN...man I wish I hadn’t seen that spoiler but despite that IM STILL EXCITED

Makes you wonder how TARN got the Matrix though (not that I can’t guess 8( )

Oh my gosh I just realized we have the potential to see Windblade kick Tarn’s butt in this series. Cyberverse PLEASE, I’D LOVE TO SEE THAT

Ah so Astrotrain is the new scientist

Ur bugs are probably dead dude

LASERBEAK!!!!

RAVAGE??? Oh no that’s the furry dude MAN I GET SO EXCITED EVERY TIME, I KEEP FORGETTING

As much as I Die for loyal Soundwave, it’s really cool seeing him being his own character and acting on his own in this series and trusting his own judgement / surveillance! It’s so good. Soundwave you’re so smart (and I love that he loves Laserbeak :’) )

*SOBBING* CASE IN POINT...HE PET THE BABY..

OHOHO IT”S *THE* INSECTICONS

Oh shoot the Insecticons are deserting

“No one can stop him. Not even you” dang son

“He doesn’t want us. He wants you” OH BOY

MY BABY WHIRL!!!! THAT’S MY BOY

SEEKERS!!! I forgot we still had a few who Starscream didn’t frickin kill

NICE JUMP-ATTACK OPTIMUS I love that he cuts the dude’s weapon in half meanwhile Grimlock just frickin eats the guy lmao. So much for Optimus’ mercy

FRICK FRICK FRICK IT IS TARN

OK TARN OBJECTIVELY SUCKS BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ACTUALLY DO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HOLY FRICK IS HE A DANGEROUS CHARACTER AND THERE’S SO MUCH TO PLAY WITH THERE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AND HOW THEY USE HIM FOR THE STORY AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead End: Yeah, I see your point Lmao I love this guy

Everyone’s gonna frickin die in this series

OH NO WHIRL oh wait yeah he and Dead End know each other, Whirl’s fine

SOUNDWAVE CAN YOU AND SHADOW STRIKER CHILL FOR 2 SECONDS

I love Skybyte’s voice

WOW MEGATRON, YOU”RE ONLY PROTECTING HALF THE PLANET, JEEZ

OH SHOOT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh so that’s why they had a wall, Megatron you turd

WHIRL NO!!!!!!! oh he’s fine thank goodness

Did Megatron get taller??? He looks taller than Optimus now

Just use Optimus’ matrix you big baby

“It’s time I called in that debt you owe me. Now it’s time for you to save me” I LEGITIMATELY SHRIEKED OUT LOUD, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

THERE HE IS, THERE HE IS THERE HE IS!!!!!!!

SCREW PAST ME’S OPINION, TARN IS FRICKIN COOL AS HELL

OH SHOOT THERE’S A TON OF HIM WTF

WHERE’S THAT FRICKIN “THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS, THERE!!! IT!!! IS!!!” MEME BECAUSE THAT’S BEEN ME THIS ENTIRE EPISODE HOLY HECK

Episode 26

MORE PRIME NAMES!!! A) that’s very pretty B) LEGIT THOUGH IF WINDBLADE’S THE ONE WHO KICKS TARN’S BUTT I’LL GO APE

OH FRICK IF OPTIMUS IS THERE THEN TARN REALLY DID KILL HIM or it means he beefed it in that universe, as he usually does

“I wish I’d gotten to know you better” 8((((((

What happened to Alt!Universe Optimus!!!!!!! How did you die!!!

Windblade: Optimus, you’re speaking in riddles... Optimus: I always do, it comes with the job of Prime. Windblade: Oh right

“A perfect Decepticon race” HOO BOYZY.....

“All because I spared your life” MAN THAT HURTS

At least they aren’t attacking them right now?

HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY RESOLVE THIS SERIES IN 10 MINUTES

ASTROTRAIN YOU COWARD not that I blame him, every bot for themself I guess

OH NO THE HURT PUPPY WHINE MAKES ME SO SAD

HELL YEAH SOUNDWAVE SAVE MY BABY BEE

I TAKE IT BACK TARN IS CANCELED, HE HIT SOUNDWAVE

*AND* HE GRABBED CHROMIA, YOU”RE CANCELED, ALL THESE CLONES ARE CANCELED

SOUNDWAVE IS THE ONLY VALID DECEPTICON

Optimus: Can’t keep-- Megatron: WE MUST! Me: *SOBS*

OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON BACK-TO-BACK FIGHTING AHHHHHHHHHH, IT”S THE LITTLE-THINGS

Definitely not the right time for this joke but: AU where instead of saying “Powers of Cybertron, unite!” they say “GAY RIGHTS” to activate their Matrix powers

Frick what if they kill MEGATRON in this series

HECK YEAH EVERYONE’S GETTING AN UPGRADE

Megatron: We must join our Matrixes together! Optimus: Now REALLY isn’t the best time for a marriage proposal Megatron: What Optimus: What

Thank you for telling Optimus to get down for once instead of just blasting him AND the Tarn-copies, Megatron

OH FRICK IT IS ALT-UNIVERSE MEGATRON NOT TARN WHO’S THE BIG BAD

I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING DURING THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE AHHHH

THIS IS INFINITELY BETTER (AND WORSE) THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THAT MEANS ALT!UNIVERSE MEGATRON DID KILL OPTIMUS...MEANWHILE OUR UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON SPARED OPTIMUS...MAN THAT HURTS ME SO BAD

MEGATRON NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OPTIMUS SAVE HIM SAVE HIM PLEASE SOMEHOW SAVE HIM!!!!!

OPTIMUS LITERALLY FRICKIN RAN ACROSS THE ROOM TO CATCH HIM, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS DRAMA

NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN”T DO THIS TO ME CYBERVERSE

“Prime...one shall stand...one shall....” THIS IS THE SADDEST FRICKIN THING THAT”S HAPPENED IM LEGIT GONNA CRY, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hold on...my friend...” IM GONNA BAWL MY EYES OUT OPTIMUS

I legit had to take a moment to get up and do a lap around my room while processing what happened LIKE OK I KNOW THEY PROBABLY (???) WON’T PERMA-KILL MEGATRON BUT FRICK DUDE THAT WAS SO EMOTIONAL

MEGAOP RIGHTS....BUT AT WHAT COST

What’s fricking me up rn (granted, several things are fricking me up right now) is that this universe’s Megatron knew he could’ve achieved his goals if he’d just killed Optimus. He said so himself; he could’ve had it all but he failed “all because I spared your [Optimus’] life”. Whatever he saw in that other universe convinced him that killing Optimus just wasn’t worth it (or perhaps, deep deep DEEP down, he really doesn’t want to kill his old friend).

I’m rewatching that last minute and this feels like a frickin fanfiction. I’m Living but also Dying

I KNOW THIS IS A VERY TENSE SCENE BUT MEGATRON’S “I won’t pay for anything!” MADE ME LAUGH

SOUNDWAVE STANDING BETWEEN SHADOW-STRIKER AND MEGATRON!!!!!!!!! STANDING UP TO MEGATRON!!!! SOBS I LOVE SOUNDWAVE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE BE CAREFUL MY SWEET BOY!!!!! IF YOU GET HURT ILL NEVER BE OVER IT

Two reasons he could’ve done that: to keep Shadow Striker from getting super pissed off and lashing out at this enemy who’s way above their level, or because the “jacked up Frankenstein experiment” thing is a sore subject for her and Soundwave recognizes that (and frankly I’m leaning toward option B because SOBS....I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP)

GOTH FRIENDS!!!

OH OK THANK GOODNESS, MEGATRON ISN’T DEAD DEAD YET

Dang so Megatron did kill Optimus

OH NO WE’RE GETTING A FLASHBACK

FRICK THAT”S SO GRUESOME, HE JUST RIPPED OPTIMUS’ CHEST OPEN

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE MOST PERFECT DECEPTICON, HIS NAME IS SOUNDWAVE!!! YOU JUST DON’T APPRECIATE HIM YOU BIG BULLY

Oh shoot so the Quints came to that world too

DANG HE JUST WRECKED THEIR SHIP HUH....

I’m loving this throwback to the IDW design

WOW Y’ALL JUST IMMEDIATELY WENT “SURE WE’RE ONBOARD” (I mean, good way to stay alive but C’MON GUYS....)

“I have no need for any of you” WHOOPS SO MUCH FOR THAT should’ve seen that coming

THIS SUCKS SO BAD

NONONONO!!!! MEGATRON!!!!

HECK NOW HE HAS THE MATRIX

wow you guys really just let Megatron fall to the floor COME ON OPTIMUS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SMOOTH MOVES

NICE ONE BEE!!!!!!

YEAH WERE ARE ARCEE AND HOT ROD

FRICK YEAH WHIRL, MESS HIM UP!!!!!!!!!

YEAH SHADOW STRIKER!!!!!!

RATCHET PUNCHING TARN HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

FRICK HE CAN JUST MATERIALIZE LIKE THAT TOO

WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG

BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“And now you will pay the price...for being a hero” DANG THAT”S A COOL LINE BUT DON’T HURT MY BOY

FRICK HIM UP OPTIMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WINDBLADE NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SAVE EVERYONE

YEAHHHH WINDBLADE!!!!!!!

Yeah don’t turn your back on the body please

YO Astrotrain came back

ASTROTRAIN THAT SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND ALSO THAT’S SUCH A BAD IDEA, JUST KILL HIM

I know this is a kid’s show but PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO MAKE SURE HE WON’T POP BACK UP IN A FEW YEARS WITH ANOTHER ARMY

IM GLAD WINDBLADE IS BACK AND IM LOVING THE HUG BUT DID MEGATRON LEGIT FRICKIN DIE????

WHAT!!! WHAT THAT CAN’T BE IT!?!?!? HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT NO!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO ABRUPT nO!!!!!!!!!!

The last few episodes were such an adrenaline rush I CAN”T BELIEVE WE CAME DOWN FROM THAT HIGH SO QUICKLY....IS MEGATRON ALIVE??? KICKSTARTER TO FUND ONE MORE EPISODE???? SPARE ANOTHER EPISODE FOR A POOR FAN???

MAN I wish we could’ve stayed in the universe of this show for a little longer but dang!!! That was really really good!!! I’m so grateful we got to have such a wonderful series like Cyberverse! :’) Thank you to everyone who worked on this incredible show!!!

Man now I gotta wait for WfC for new Transformers content....at least I can look through the tag w/out getting spoiled now

A few more thoughts now that I’ve re-read my liveblog:

If Megatron could hop into the Matrix of Leadership he possessed, I wonder if he ever had a chance to talk to that universe’s Optimus Prime... :( based on what he said, probably not, but that makes me so sad!!!! Did they ever get the chance to work things out!!! IS MEGATRON ALIVE OR NOT.....

#i talk #I'm watching Cyberverse #Primordial Robot Hell #Cyberverse spoiler /#I feel like I got a shot of adrenaline right to my heart

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hanmairead · 5 years

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MCM London 2019

So, yesterday was kinda one of the most amazing days of my life. Long rambly post incoming...

It started out pretty normal, just walking round, looking at all the booths. After a while I made my way over to the autograph section, to see Troy and Nolan.

Now if you know me well, you know how much I love these guys and it filled me with so much joy that I was going to see them again after three years! I’m a huge fan of their Retro Replay show on YouTube, and their live show was the main reason I went to the con this year.

ANYWAY I was waiting in Troy’s line first and the stewards were walking down the line asking for names to put on a post-it note for them to write your name. So, when it was finally my turn to see Troy, I walked up and said hi to which he replied “hello my love” then gave me a look as if to say ‘I know who you are.’ He looked down at the post-it on the table then and went “waaaaaiiiittt... are you Hannah? Like THE Hannah?” (Side note I’m very active in the Retro Replay community so they see me a lot online lol). So I was like “yup that’s me” and he FREAKED OUT. Like he legit got so excited and smiley which was adorable. He then gave me a huge high 5, and shouted over to Nolan to get his attention. When he did he proceeded to shout “NOLAN!! IT’S HANNAH! SHE’S HERE!”. Nolan then looked at me and the biggest smile broke out on his face and he excitedly shouted “hey” to me then carried on talking to the fan he was talking to previously. (Sorry whoever you were for interrupting your interaction). Troy was saying how happy he was to see me and he genuinely looked ecstatic which is pretty crazy. So we talked about all sorts of stuff, mainly Retro Replay, and I told him how the show brings me so much happiness and that I’m so thankful for the show. He then told me that I’m one of those that “lights the place up” (that place being the live chat) and that honestly made me so happy. He was telling my Mum how great I was too, which is mind blowing. So after that crazy interaction, I said I’d see him later and moved to Nolan’s line.

Then at Nolan’s line I was obviously given another post-it with my name on to give to Nolan at the front. But, as soon as he saw me he said “Hannahhh” as if he was talking to an old friend (lol), and the post-it was long forgotten. He said how great it was to put a face to the name and I showed him our old photos from 2016, and he realised then how long I’d been supporting them which is nice! We talked for so long about the show, the new IT movie, Uncle Noly... basically anything and everything that came to mind. Again, I told him how much I love the show and he said how great it was to see me supporting them all the time. This conversation with him honestly felt so natural, as if I was having a catch-up with an old friend. We talked for quite a bit then I had to go so we said our goodbyes and I made my way away from the autograph booths.

The guys were both so genuinely lovely to talk to and I felt so comfortable around the both of them, which is all you can really ask for to be honest.

So I got my autographs from the guys, and did a bunch of stuff around the con until it was time for the photo ops.

We had a sweet little interaction at the photo ops too, which really made me so happy. I walked forward when it was my turn and Nolan shouted “HEEEEY” and stretched out his arms as if to welcome me forward. At the same time, Troy saw me and started doing this little hand clapping-march-on-the-spot type thing with the biggest smile on his face (This man is a literal child). I walked over, Troy pulled me into a side hug and then we took the photo!

I didn’t know what pose they did when the photo was taken (the flash blinded me a bit) so when I came out to see them posing like this, the biggest smile made its way onto my face. I cannot express how amazing it feels to be shown that you’re appreciated. They genuinely love and appreciate every single one of their fans, and that to me is amazing. After the picture, Troy started talking to me and said he’d see me at the show (yay). Also, thank you Troy for crouching a tiny bit because I’m so short 😂

I then made my way over to the centre stage for the show and OH BOY, were the audience in for a ride (a rug ride, at that). The boys came on doing their bits from most of the Retro Replay Live shows, but the audience was also exposed to some new stuff! I won’t spoil stuff, since the rest of the community will find out soon 😉 So the boys played Aladdin, and after a few failed attempts at the rug ride, a special guest was brought on to give them a hand. Who was that mystery guest you ask? Sean! (Or Jacksepticeye for those of you that don’t know his real name)

He then joined the guys on stage to play games, crack jokes and join in a surprise sing-along at the end. I won’t talk about everything because this post is long enough as is, but it was genuinely so great to see three of my favourite people up on a stage together having the best time. I left the show with a huge smile on my face and aching cheeks from laughing so much.

And just like that, the day was over!! It was honestly one of the best days of my life, no exaggeration. I can’t thank Troy and Nolan enough for all the love and appreciation I was shown that day. I’m still not over what happened, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget this day for as long as I live.

Thank you guys, for the most amazing day.

What do we play next?

#mcm comic con london #mcm comic con #retro replay #troy baker #nolan north #jacksepticeye #jse #best day ever

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arlingtonpark · 5 years

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Winter 2020 Anime Round-Up

I decided to do a round-up of all the anime I’m watching this season because, turns out, most of the shows I was interested in were bad!

I.D. Invaded.

This is a psychological thriller sci-fi mystery type show. It’s about a police unit who uses this sci-fi technology to detect a killer’s murderous intent and create a sort of virtual reality projection of the killer’s mind.

They then take a special agent and insert him into the projection to hunt down clues and find the killer’s identity and whereabouts.

Enjoying this show is not cheap. It asks a lot of you.

1. Don’t laugh at how ham-fisted the exploration of how a killer’s mind works is.

2. Don’t laugh at the special agent’s official designation being “The Brilliant Detective.”

3. Don’t question the ridiculous premise of the show; they use a killer’s particles to create the projection of their mind to hunt for clues, but are later shown using those same particles to pinpoint the killer’s location.

4. Don’t laugh at one of the police unit’s agents being a teenage girl.

5. And, of course, don’t notice all the expository monologuing for the audience’s sake.

The show is silly, but there’s some intriguing stuff in it. The conflict between the unit’s field squad and the desk workers can be good, though the locus of that conflict being about what seems to be a bureaucratic oversight is pretty weak.

The teenage girl is the most bald-facedly ridiculous thing about this show, but she is unironically the best character. She does some daring, crazy shit in this show and I was legitimately shocked by it.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

6. Don’t laugh at the OP using recycled production materials and footage from the first episode.

Signs of a quality production right there.

Plunderer.

>.<

This. Show.

I feel bad for Sarah Wiedenheft. She voices the main heroine in the dub. The in-over-her-head, naïve, helpless heroine, Hina.

God, help us!

Hina is a woman with a mission. She is bubbly and naïve, but stubborn and she gets in over her head by the end of the first episode. Why?

You know why, fool! So she can be rescued by the hero.

This show puts a creative spin on the typical shonen formula. Many shonen shows are designed to be wish fulfillment for teenage boys, with Mary Sue main characters for them to project onto.

The crazy spin on the formula here is that it’s wish fulfillment for sexual predators.

That’s not a joke.

The show takes place in a magical world where everyone is branded with a “count,” a number that increases whenever they complete a task specific to them.

Hina’s count goes up whenever she walks 100 km. Another’s count goes up whenever her food is complimented.

The count is denoted by a number that’s branded somewhere on their bodies. Hina’s count is located on her inner thigh, just below her crotch.

Meanwhile, this is what the hero does to Hina the first time they meet:

This is them at the end of the episode after he rescues her.

You know how in Dragon Ball, Master Roshi was this old pervert? The hero here is like that, except he’s young, not old, and a predator rather than just a pervert.

Licht is the hero; his count goes up whenever he dates someone, I guess, but the thing about him is that he’s a predator, so his count is actually -999. If your count reaches zero, you’re Kylo Ren-ed off into an abyss never to be seen again, so negative counts shouldn’t even be possible.

The reason the hero isn’t dead is because he’s actually.

Wait for it.

The Legendary Ace!

A badass fighter spoken of only in legends!

Who is this show even for?

It’s clearly supposed to be a wish fulfillment kind of show, but the only people I can see projecting onto the hero are, like, really, really pathetic people who fantasize about sexual assault.

(Another female character’s count is located on her left breast.)

The heroine is looking for this legendary ace, but even though she’s lived in this world her whole life, and has traveled throughout it her whole life, she knows nothing about how the count system works.

That was necessary, you see, for two reasons: so the system can be explained to us in monologue, and so the heroine can be made helpless and in need of rescue.

Those with a higher count have a high social status. This could have been a cool exploration of how luck is underappreciated as a factor in one’s social status, since how counts are determined is completely arbitrary and some are easier to increase than others, but no, we don’t get that.

People with a lower count must obey people with a higher count. But you’re in the military, there is an appeals process: if you have a lower count and are ordered by someone with a higher count to do something, you can challenge the high count to a duel and if you win, you can ignore their order.

You can then take the loser’s count and add it to your own.

These duels are called “star stakes.” >.<

Hina, naturally, is suckered into one of these duels and is about to lose everything when Licht saves her by agreeing to duel Hina’s opponent on her behalf.

And just to emphasize how infantilized Hina is in this show, Licht not only saves her physically, he even provides her with some emotional support, but phrased in a way that totally talks down to her.

Asteroid in Love.

I’ve already seen the first episode three times, and I have no shame!

Doga Kobo is the Kyoto Animation of the past few years. Just as KyoAni made a name for themselves with a string of shows about cute girls doing cute things, Doga Kobo have sort of taken on that mantle.

Three Leaves, Three Colors; Gabriel Dropout; New Game; Senko-san; and now Asteroid in Love are all shows with good characters with good design work and animation better than they had any right to have.

This show is about a girl named Mira who meets a boy named Ao during a camping trip. He has a thing for astronomy and Mira is completely won over by it. They promise to discover and name an asteroid together.

Tragically, that one camping trip was the last they saw of each other.

Comically, they happen upon each other at the start of high school and wouldn’t you know it? Ao was a girl the whole time!

She was very tomboyish at that time in her life, so Mira mistook her for a boy.

But whatever, Mira’s friend still ships them.

They’re both passionate about astronomy, so they reconnect and become good friends real quick.

The friendship between Mira and Ao is by far the best part about this show; unfortunately, everything else is very generic.

High school club? Check.

Club member who’s boisterous and excitable? Check.

Club member who’s serious and down to earth? Check.

But in spite of all that, I could watch this show all day.

The presentation is excellent. The character designs are lovely and the direction and animation are amazing.

Magia Record.

A spin-off of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Magia Record takes place before Rebellion, but in an alternate universe where the events of Madoka Magica haven’t happened yet. There’s a new cast, but the main cast of Madoka Magica will be back as major characters.

InuCurry, who did the artwork for the witches’ labyrinths are back, this time as series co-directors and co-writers.

The Magica Quartet, the brain trust of people who created Madoka Magica, Gen Urobuchi, Akiyuki Shinbo, Ume Aoki, and Atsuhiro Iwakami, are back too. The four are collectively credited with coming up with the story.

Shinbo, who co-directed Madoka Magica, is back as an animation supervisor. Aoki is back in her role as character designer. Iwakami is co-credited with series planning.

Yukihiro Miyamoto, who co-directed the original series alongside Shinbo, is back as assistant director.

This show…it’s just good to see it all back. The character designs are a bit different from the original series, but they nailed the aesthetic otherwise.

Magia Record draws heavily from plot elements first used in Madoka Magica, but it’s not what I would call uninspired. Anyone who’s seen Madoka Magica will notice the callbacks, but they’re fun, not cringeworthy.

It reminds me of how The Force Awakens brought people back in to the Star Wars universe by heavily echoing A New Hope, but Magia Record is much more creative in its echoing than Force Awakens was.

Everyone who likes the OG series should check this out.

There’s already much intrigue in the story. A magical girl whose wish was granted, but also apparently simultaneously erased from existence, rumors of a city where magical girls can be “saved,” and a Kyubey who is a separate entity from the others.

The show is an adaptation of a mobile rpg. This is from a cutscene.

Iroha Tamaki, the main character of Magia Record, and Homura Akemi.

Get excited.

Bofuri.

This show is like Asteroid in Love, in that it would be totally boring if it weren’t totally charming.

This is the type of show that takes a silly phenomenon in the real world and makes it the premise of the whole show. Maple is a girl who’s just gotten into video games. Because she’s a newb, she puts all of her points into defense at the expense of even basic stuff like speed and strength.

Thus ensues hilarity.

There’s not much to talk about here. Maple is endearing as a video game noob. The artwork is great. The writing is legitimately funny in a subdued way.

A+

Darwin’s Game.

I watched this show because the premise reminded me of King’s Game.

For those who don’t know, King’s Game is widely considered to be the worst anime ever made. It sucks.

King’s Game is about a death game administered over the phone and it the point is that everyone dies. It tries hard to do horror and it fails hard. I watch it every Halloween. :D

Darwin’s Game is about a mobile app game that pits players against each other in death matches. You win by killing all the other players.

With some shows it’s clear the writer can’t decide what they want to do. This show can’t decide if it wants to be trash or legit good.

Immediately you can tell this show is going to suck because the artwork is terrible. This is an ugly show to look at.

The show opens with a cold open clearly made to make the audience ask questions. It succeeds too well.

The opening depicts a random person being chased through the streets and then killed by an invisible furry.

Seriously.

By God, the fanservice in this show…

This doesn’t even fully capture the shamelessness of it. If you watch the episode, you’ll notice her dress has frills from the waist down.

Except for when we see her kneeling down, when her dress is suddenly a single piece of cloth. So we can better see her ass outlined through it.

Things temporarily get good when the main character has to fend off the furry from the opening. It really is thrilling, but everything goes back to crap when the mc has to fight the dress woman in the above picture.

He doesn’t kill her though. Oh, no, he doesn’t.

She becomes smitten by how strong he is and the episode ends with her asking him to bed her.

-barf-

#anime #winter 2020

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jeshikawa · 5 years

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For my big summer trip, I traveled down to the island of Shikoku to visit one of the least visited prefectures in Japan, Kochi.

At my JET interview 3 years ago, I was asked if I enjoyed history (yes) and if I had a famous Japanese historical figure. I blanked on the spot and blurted out a safe and easy answer-- Sakamoto Ryouma. The Japanese woman at my interview nodded her head approvingly and wrote something down. The former JET asked me to do a demo lesson for elementary school students about him. I fumbled, started over once, and manage to throw something together on the spot. When I left the interview, I joked that if I made it to Japan, I’d go to where ever Ryouma came from as a sort of tribute.

Well, I made it and since then, I’ve been to Kyoto and Nagasaki, two places affiliated with Ryouma’s life. This year, I went to his home prefecture, Kochi for four days. I had a vague itinerary made up. Vague because I had things I definitely wanted to do but some of them depended on the weather (and a typhoon was coming!).

Anyway, below the cut is the details of my trip!

But the tl;dr version is:

1. Had local food! The specialty ramen is nabe ramen, served in a hot pot with a chicken broth based and sliced chikuwa. The most popular type of ice cream, aisukurin, is a traditional kind based on a recipe from the 1800s.

2. Katsurahama Beach is easily accessible with a lot of stuff to visit nearby like the Sakamoto Ryouma museum, a cute shrine on a cliff, an aquarium, and places to eat. The Sakamoto Ryouma Museum was A+ super informative and very English friendly.

3. Kochi is the home for some very famous Japanese figures. Sakamoto Ryouma is one of the most famous historical figures in Japan (second only to Nobunaga in some rankings!). The creator for Anpanman is from Kochi and I had the theme song stuck in my head the whole time. The founder for Mitsubishi is from Kochi, too.

4. Kochi is home to the first yosakoi festival in Japan. Naruko, one of the required elements for yosakoi, is traditionally from Kochi and you can make your own at the yosakoi museum.

5. Kochi loves chickens, especially a certain breed.

6. Kochi Castle was a struggle to climb up to in the summer but the view was amazing. If you go on Sunday, you can visit a 300 year old open market nearby. I saw an 800 yen whole watermelon.

7. Kitagawamura is home to “Monet’s Garden,” a garden inspired by Monet’s paintings and the only place outside France to be allowed to officially use the title.

8. You can get delicious food and eat next to locals at Hirome Market.

9. Not many people spoke much English if at all but oh my god the locals in Kochi were some of the friendliest people I have ever met in Japan and I was so touched by their kindness and willingness to make my trip the best it could be.

Every prefecture has their own style of ramen. Kochi’s is nabe ramen; ramen served in hot pots that simmer when you remove the top. Traditionally, the ramen has a chicken broth base and comes with sliced chikuwa and green onion. I went to one place that specialized on it and they also served the ramen with chicken skin and shredded chicken.

It was hot so at Katsurahama Beach and Kochi Castle, I had aisukurin. It's ice cream made from eggs, sugar, and powdered skim milk. It’s a little crunchier and lighter tasting than regular ice cream because there’s less fat. I don’t like having dairy in the summer because it feels so heavy in my stomach but I really liked this.

While at Katsurahama, I climbed up a small cliff (which is honestly a lot easier than it sounds!) to visit a small shrine that looked over the beach. The Sakamoto Ryouma museum nearby was extremely informative and very English friendly. When it comes to museums in Japan, I think this one was one of the most English friendly ones with very detailed and comprehensive translations for about 85% of the things on display if you got their audio guide. The only thing that didn’t really have English translations was the new special and temporary exhibit about the women in Ryouma’s life (which was honestly really cool to see). We visited the aquarium that was there and it was okay... I don’t really like a lot of aquariums and zoos and this one didn’t really impress me. But it was close to the shrine and the museum and next to the bus stop so it was convenient.

Kochi loves their boy, Ryouma. He’s on all of the omiyage, his statue is every where, there are photo op cut outs all over the place, and it’s honestly really cute. Kochi isn’t a very popular prefecture but when your local boy is one of the most famous figures in Japanese history (I’ve seen him ranked as #2 on some lists, second only to Nobunaga!), you run with it. Do you know what else is from Kochi? The creator of Anpanman is from Kochi! The artist designed characters for all of the stations on the train lines and they greet you on all of the signs. Whenever a train leaves Kochi station, you can hear a jingle from the show. In Kochi City, there are statues of the characters every where. The founder for Mitsubishi is also from Kochi and the Mitsubishi logo is based on the crest for the Tosa Clan.

Kochi is home to the first yosakoi festival in Japan. It’s one of the biggest festivals in the prefecture and one of the biggest yosakoi festivals in Japan. At the yosakoi museum in Kochi City, you can make naruko which are a requirement for yosakoi. Naruko originated from Kochi as a tool farmers used to scare off crows.

Kochi Castle was a work out in the summer because it’s up a hill... but the view from the top of the castle was amazing. It was also very informative with a lot of information in English. I learned a lot about Japanese castles. If you go to the castle on Sunday, you can also visit the open air Sunday Market which has been going strong for 300 years. I saw a whole watermelon there for 800 yen. A local told me Kochi is very small and agricultural so things are just cheaper, even in the city.

Near the castle, you can visit the Castle Museum and the Yosakoi Inari Shrine. The Yosakoi Inari Shrine has chickens and roosters running around. Imagine seeing chickens and roosters running around in the middle of a city! People often go to the shrine to pray for a successful Yosakoi festival and season.

Something that was on my Japan Bucket List was visiting Monet’s Garden in Japan. I didn’t realize it was in Kochi until I started planning my trip! It’s the only place outside of France allowed to use the title “Monet’s Garden” and it was designed with cooperation and support from Monet’s Garden in France. If you go in the summer, you can see the lilies on the pond and it really looks like some of Monet’s paintings come to life. It was about a 1.5 hour train ride one way so it was 3 hours all together... and we spent about 2 hours at the garden looking around and eating lunch so this was basically one whole day.

At night, we hit up Hirome Market which is a market place with a ton of food and drink stalls that you can enjoy with locals. You can try tons of delicious food there! Street food like okonomiyaki, karaage, and takoyaki but also full meals like ramen, nabe, sushi, and pizza. I had bonito tataki-- lightly seared bonito. It’s one of the signature dishes in Kochi.

Through out the trip, I hit up a few shrines and temples for goshuin. I didn’t actually do the 88 Temple Tour because those temples are scattered all across Shikoku but I hit up a few temples on the route that were easy to get to.

It was really a full 4 days! But something that really stuck out to me on the trip were the people. Like I said, Kochi is one of the least visited prefectures in Japan, especially among foreign tourists. While I was traveling with my friend, locals were usually very curious to find out why we were there, especially before the big yosakoi festival. They were always so excited and willing to give us recommendations for places to visit and foods to try. Even if their English wasn’t very good and my Japanese wasn’t great, they were always proud to try and explain things to us. I was in a small mom and pop convenience shop looking for a drink to by and the owner tried very hard to explain the regional juices, sodas, and alcohol for sale. On the train, I saw an interesting building on a mountain and an old man did his best to explain to me it was a temple after I snapped a photo of it. At Katsurahama beach, we ran into a local high school field trip and the teacher invited us to go to the Ryouma museum along with them. One hot day, I went to a restaurant and fanned myself while waiting for food... the restaurant owner gave me a fan. When I tried to return it after dinner, he told me to keep it so I could stay cool on my trip. Even on the plane ride into Kochi, a local woman asked us what we were going to do in Kochi and gave us a few recommendations. it’s really ridiculous how incredibly nice everyone in Kochi was when they spoke to us. It was honestly one of the nicest experiences I’ve ever had dealing with local people.

My trip honestly ended up being A LOT better than I thought it would go. It’s legit one of my favorite places I’ve visited and a big part of that is just how proud and kind the people were every where I went. It’s very obvious that there are people here proud of their history and culture and they genuinely want to share it with others. This was a great way to celebrate 3 years in Japan!

#jet program #jet programme #visit japan #travel #japan

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general-grey · 5 years

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Heyoooo, I am not active on Tumblr these days tbh, but. Lemme just hug you real tight, wish you the best, because I believe I have missed your birthday this time, but given there top something meme and your Bloodborne - what about top of the best memories related to the game or Souls series in general?

That is alright buddy, I really hope you’re having fun over whatever other platform you’ve migrated over to

Best memories... oh boy, that is. a Hard thing to explain, I had several absolutely unforgettable moments, both alone with only me and the game, and with others.

I don’t know how many I should list, but I’ll just start somewhere and hope to finish :’)

(Under a read-more because it got LONG)

1. My very first login to Dark Souls - So, I’ve actually found this game by pure dumb luck. I don’t actually remember how it came up, I think I maybe saw some memes about it online, bunch of ThePruld videos.

I didn’t think much of it, but at one point it came up in an IRL conversation, as a passing subject and I asked, “okay but what IS dark souls” and the friend just simply went “it’s just very hard”.

I’m NOT good at games. Idk why I wanted to try it though. I guess the dingy ruined castles ticked my mind just enough to be interested.

A friend on Steam shared it with me because they had it, and I didn’t, and so I gave it a little whirl... and I fell FAST and i fell HARD. I remember struggling with the keyboard for about an hour. I remember realizing that I do have a few controllers lying around in the house, and a wireless receiver because at one point my dad ordered some from AliExpress because he wanted to play old Star Wars games on controllers.

The rest is history, now.

2. Exploring the Undead Burg - as a small continuation of the first bit, but nobody warned me that this game would be so damn BREATHTAKINGLY beautiful. I struggled in the Burg for at least ten hours, for sure. I got used to carefully, very very carefully exploring. I firebombed a Black Knight to death from the top of a house’s roof. I did a LOT of Hellkite Drake soul farming. Y’all know the one.

It was so utterly special for the first time I don’t think I’ll ever feel as alive as I did when I was doing those dumb things. I remember the whole Undead Burg by heart. The way the warm sunlight touches down on the moss-covered stone walls.

3. First flight to Anor Londo - I cried, I legit cried, when I finally got there. I don’t remember if I was aware of what was to come, but when those gargoyles lifted my dingy little knight up, and took to the heavens.... and then rose above the golden Anor Londo?

I think I had to go for a little walk after that because it felt so good, so profoundly amazing, I could not concentrate to sit and progress.

4. Oolacile adventures with @abyss-wolf - I actually rambled to her for so long about this dumb amazing game that she actually got it for herself... and then we played a lot together and then these co-op sessions turned into actual dates, adn the rest is history now... but!

Oolacile was special. Because, I think I was getting her through it for the very first time. And I was trying to direct her towards some loot. There was one particular loot that I directed her towards, but I remembered there was a hole in front of it.

I told her so.

She went “yeah yeah I know I saw”

And then she proceeded to walk straight into the goddamn hole, and fell to her death.

I think I laughed at her for like 10 minutes straight, or at least until I ran all the way back so she could summon me again.

5. Oolacile adventures, round two -

Me: “I’m not very good at shooting tbh.”

Her: -pulling out a max upgraded Dragonslayer Greatbow- “why, it’s not so hard lol”

Her: -proceeds to headshot every single enemy in Oolacile garden- “like so”

Me: -at this point actively repressing the gay thoughts like the fucking dumbass i was, there is zero other explanation- “stop showing off your big dick bro”

6. Oolacile adventures, round three - That one time when she got herself a bunch of items from item editor and she gave my knight, Caspiron, Gwyndolin’s bow

and it was so fucking tiny

and SHE laughed at me for like 10 minutes straight because HER bow was bigger than her whole character

there were lots of dick jokes, and that’s how it was all well in life.

7. Dark Souls III adventures, still with @abyss-wolf - That ONE TIME.

When we were doing the Darkened Fireling Shrine.

And we walked into Champion Gundyr’s boss room, and the FUCKER immediately used the fucking grab attack on me and Y O T E me off the FUCKING cliff.

8. Dark Souls III adventures, round two - that one time when I was AFK because I was doing something for mom and when I came back she covered the area around me with shiny pebbles.

9. Exploring the Tomb of the Giants - Something with the atmospheric part - that area is completely, utterly pitch black. You can’t see anything at all, save for perhaps the ground immediately beneat your feet.

There are giant skeletons in the darkness. They are NOT nice. You can stumble blindly into them if you aren’t careful.

You can slip off the roads and fall to your death, or into places where you have to figure aout all over how to get back up, all semi-blind.

That was such good shit, holy fuck guys.

10. Finding the Kiln of the First Flame - The gate beyond the Lordvessel opens up. It reveals a staircase, leading just a little way down. As you walk upon it, spirits of Silver Knights walk past you, like wisps of memory.

You are standing in a giant space. A bleak, burnt up desert or nothing but ash and old, warped structures. There is light filtering in, but you cannot see from where.

It’s beautiful. It’s desolate and forbidding.

And it is the end.

You’ve made it. Only one thing left to do. And you know what it is.

.......

Shit this turned into a “favourite Dark Souls moments”, huh? I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to start from the beginning and I got carried away.

But it REALLY does show which is my favourite game of the whole FromSoft lineup, huh? Can’t really ever let go of the first one you’ve played.

I adore Bloodborne, but I’ve not had all the time to collect my thoughts on it. I’ll probably write good long rambles about it too, eventually, because holy shit i’m loving it with all my heart, indeed i do

#god look at this FUCKING ramble holy shit #i love these games so much #i have no fucking words for it they mean SO MUCH to me #i love the story i love the dedicated community #i love the enthusiasm it inspires in others #i love how GOOD the gameplay too makes me feel #i love how tightly interconnected both the mechanics and the narratives are #Soulsborne games are MASTERPIECES #and i will NOT shut up about them #and also yeah that's how i met my girlfriend and honestly #the games remind me of her as well #because of all the times we've spent in them #and still do #and it's. it's important #it's so important y'all #crysdrawsthings

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krytus · 6 years

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I think I might start watching bf5 so can you tell me why I should watch it

bro you’re going to get a giant block of text because hot wheels battle force 5 is a series that is really near and dear to my heart.

ok first off the plot is kinda simple but it’s really fun: it’s a group of six teens that have to drive cars real fast and battle some aliens. the second season gets more complicated but its. fun.

the aliens are called the sark (robots led by a tyrant), and the vandals (tribal dictatorship). there’s never any doubt about them being evil—not only are they conquerors that have destroyed worlds, the vandals practice slavery (which is a minor spoiler) and the sark are led by zemerik who is. just a fucking asshole. however, the show plays with this tradition model of heroes vs villains a lot in s2: zemerik Because Of Reasons ends up on the heroes’s side. this does not mean they trust him. they have to help kallus (the leader of the vandals), too, but they know for a fact the second there isn’t a greater evil to unite against, they’re back to throwing fists.

there’s another race of aliens called the sentients which are like. gods. they created the universe and all the battle zones—this is the place where our heroes fight/race the bad guys. also ps battlezones are some of the COOLEST concepts we get out of this show. they’re usually unique in design but there are reasons our heroes sometimes revisit them that makes narrative sense. battlezones are unlocked by battlekeys, and getting the battle key is pretty much the premise for every episode in s1, except for a couple near the end that build into the main conflict of s2. anyways, back the sentients. they’re dicks. i don’t trust them. they also have slaves but it’s like. lowkey slavery? it’s. yeah. also, they are 2 kinds of sentients: the blue ones and the red ones. the red ones you THINK are dicks but then u find out the blue ones. weren’t that nice either. so it’s. spicy. sentients also had like. a couple of civil wars.

anyways, let’s talk about our main heroes!

there’s vert wheeler

he’s kind of a dork and you can tell he’s probably like. 18. he’s the leader and he’s kinda arrogant but he always manages to keep his team together. he makes bad jokes sometimes and you can argue he’s a little op but honestly? as skilled as he is he clearly needs a team at his back. i stan him so hard. he drives the saber which is a car with a chainsaw on it. a chainsaw.

vert’s second is command is agura ibaden, this beautiful lady:

she made me into a lesbian. she doubts herself sometimes and gets a couple of episodes about learning to be in control and eventually she’s a great leader in her own right. she drives the tangler which is a beast of a vehicle and she’s good at planning and hitting the enemy in ways they don’t expect. i love her so much.

next up we have the cortez brothers, spinner and sherman.

they’re latino but it’s implied they’re mexican because spinner’s gamer name references a specific city in mexico. also, side note, bf5 was ridiculously popular in mexico. like. reruns every other hour. it was the life. but anyways, they’re the technical brains of the team. spinner is good with computers and sherman is an engineering genius. although they’re both the tech support, i love that they have different skills!! they love each other very much but they also get on each other’s nerves. in one episode they dare each other to eat increasingly gross things it’s hilarious and they’re peak sibling culture. also sherman is big and still the brains! there are however a couple food jokes about him which is :( but they’re not like. his entire characterization! he’s complex and i love him. they drive the buster which is. basically a tank.

anyways, next up is zoom takazumi, resident ninja

alkjd actually he’s a mixed martial arts fighter! he’s the youngest and i would protect him with my LIFE. also i don’t have the episode on hand right this moment but he’s south asian! yay diversity. he gets flak for being the baby of the team but he really finds himself and he’s an awesome scout. also i love alessandro juliani, his VA so. stan him. he drives the chopper which is a bike that becomes a helicopter. i don’t make it sound very cool but it IS.

we also have stanford isaac rhodes

he’s our moron representation. he’s vain, self obsessed, and thinks he should be in charge (the villains literally. know him as “the vain one” it’s hilarious). if the writing for this show were weaker, i’d hate him. however! he learns to not be such a dick. he becomes ride or die for his friends. as much as he thinks he should be in charge and clashes with agura, he learns to be better! i appreciate this dumbass white boy. he drives the reverb which has guns. a car. with sonic guns. this show goes ridiculously hard.

in s2 we get two more characters, tezz and aj.

tezz volitov is like stanford, but ridiculously smart. he strands himself on an alien mood at the age of NINE, and spends the next 9 years alone. it’s kinda sad. it takes him a while, but he eventually learns how to be a good teammate and i love him so much. he’s also russian, i think, but he’s. probably not white? it’s complicated. this is an issue i got with the show but i’ll tack it onto them wanting to be diverse whilst being white people. tezz drives the splitwire which i. legit want. it’s so fucking COOL.

finally, we have aj who i dont have a gif for, i just realized. he’s white n blonde, tho so. just imagine that. he doesn’t have too big of a role in the series, but he’s vert’s friend so i trust him and also the times he does show up he doesn’t steal the spotlight or anything, which i respect. they knew he was a bland white guy and they committed to that.

but yeah the characters are really interesting. also, the animation? is god tier for a show from 2010 that had the graveyard time slot. there are so many little details and the SCORING IS TO DIE FOR, also the way they color skin tones? is something you rarely see in 3D cartoons. they understood that dark skin in different lighting doesn’t react the same as white skin. there is no moment in the show where you can’t see the difference in the skin tone of the characters. it’s amazing and i love it so much.

a couple of details from the animation bc i love it

but yeah! this show is very colorful and what i call “lovingly animated”

another great things about it are. the jokes. the way they write dialogue is literally. to die for:

“bro, what would you do without me?” “live to see my next birthday”

“who wants to help me destroy a pack of killer robots?”

“a great warrior has fallen. an ally, an enemy, but, mostly a dismal failure, and a loser”

“believe it or not, i’m too exhausted to humiliate you”

“you’re risking our lives based on artwork made of STICK FIGURES?”

“if a 50ft statue of one of us showed up in a battlezone, what would we do?” “i’d blog about it” “no one reads your blog”

“the brains of this operation?” “he’s the left hemisphere. i’m the right”

some of them have visual elements which i love in jokes!!

but yeah. this is long enough i guess.

to sum up:

diverse cast

great animation

great music

solid plot

solid writing

funny joaks

some AMAZING foreshadowing

the webisodes are funny and cute

the theme song SLAPS

WORDBUILDING TO DIE FOR

there’s so much i’m leaving out because this show is SO MUCH AND SO GOOD but yeah. i made some gifs if you want to see the flavor of this show

there’s no romance like. at all. the focus is solely on the action and i love it

however, i am known for being a salty little bitch so issues™

could have used more women

there are a couple of jokes which are kinda cheesy

the diversity is the kind written by white people so take that as you will. also it’s a show that’s like. as good as white people can write. nothing super revolutionary.

it doesn’t entirely have. a solid ending. it has a tv movie that wraps it up but 1. it’s in spanish (yours truly wrote a translation) 2. it includes a cliffhanger which was. unnecessary. it’s more that they wanted to leave the door open for more but. didn’t make it. however! all the main conflicts get resolved so it’s not too a big issue

there’s probably more stuff but honestly? it’s a solid kids show. flaws n strengths. i love it

#kinggharrow #s.ask #battle force 5 #this took me like. an entire hour #long post #also u can go down my battle force 5 tag for more of my thoughts on it #also also if u watch it i will gif whatever u want. anything.

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fadedtoblue · 6 years

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Hello lovely friends!! The connection was so shitty and unreliable during the actual con that I really couldn’t get much out other than some quick stuff on Twitter, but I’m finally on my way home and have free airport wifi so I’ll try to write up some highlights. 

Anyway! The experience was lovely and it went by FAST (which I expected – the generous amount of time I had with Elodie @ SLCC was definitely an exception rather than the rule! And y’all, have you SEEN HER HAIR??), but guys, not that we needed confirmation but it’s all true: Charlie is the sweetest, warmest, kindest person in the world. Despite there being SO many people for him to meet and talk to, he had a smile on his face the whole time. And to think he’s going to travel to another city tomorrow and do it again!!

His panel ended up being pretty par for the course with the stuff he’s done before. There were a bunch of fun little responses (hopefully mostly accurate, I took a lot of quick notes!):

Apparently he’s become obsessed with eating crap cereal after night shoots and it wakes up the baby every time

The Black Mirror Christmas episode gave him nightmares for a few nights (he was asked about his greatest fear!)

There’s been a lot of conversation with the S3 showrunner about how Matt has changed as a result of the Defenders (things that he’s learned, as well as things he still hasn’t learned!!)

One of the things he has to work hardest on when it comes to Matt Murdock is smiling less! Because Charlie smiles all the time but Matt / DD does not smile as much lol.

Semi-related: someone asked if it’s weird to see Jon Bernthal smile after he’s been in Punisher mode. Charlie said smiling isn’t really Jon’s problem, though he did try to make Jon smile by whispering “Don’t smile, Jon, don’t smile” while shooting together.

And if anyone is curious, I did ask a question, and yes, I dropped in a bit of Mattelektra (and I’m so embarrassed that this exists on a recording now, please don’t remind me of it later!!) — it was basically in reference to this Chris Brewster Defenders interview; I wanted to see if he’d share some insight into how him and Elodie and Chris actually worked on these fights — unfortunately he gave a much more general answer but at least I got the courage up to do it :p!!

My photo op with Charlie went so damn fast and my biggest regret of the day is probably not asking him for a bear hug in that moment! I’m so self-conscious about bothering people and being too pushy but alas, I bet he would have totally did it then. I suppose I should be very happy I had the moment at all, and I’m going to remember that!!

My last opportunity to connect with Charlie was during autographs — which took way longer than I expected since he was literally slammed for HOURS, but once again, the moment you get up there he is SO sweet and friendly and focused on you. In retrospect, I wish I had been in the right mental state to take a cute pic of him while he was signing, but I was so damn frazzled trying to carry a conversation without being a total fool, that took up most of my mental energy. But it does relate to the one funny moment to share from the experience — right before I’d gotten into line, I ended up picking up a GORGEOUS DD print from Alex Maleev. I joked to him that I was using my precious Charlie Cox autograph cash to buy it. Alex lit up a bit and told me he wanted me to tell Charlie something for him — Arsenal sucks! He promised that as long as I said it was from him, I’d get a free autograph from it. I didn’t really care about that, but it was funny and I thought I’d be a good reason to strike up conversation with Charlie. While it was my turn I told Charlie what Alex said, to which Charlie gave a big laugh and said, well, I have to give you a free autograph now, so you better take it out fast! I was legit taken aback but eek, was thrilled to get a bonus Charlie signature on this amazing print! I stumbled at the finish, lovely lovely man is like thanking me for coming and trying to shake my hand again and I’m like whaaaaaa, but anyway, it was great, haha.

Bonus coolness: In a very impulsive but lucky move (b/c his list was full), I managed to snag an Elektra sketch commission from freaking Jeff Dekal so don’t ever say I don’t do everything I can to bring more Elektra content into this world b/c I do LOL.

Anyway, time to hop onto my next flight, thank you for listening to my fangirl rambles, you are all wonderful for indulging me. Now we can all geek out together over Charlie’s next appearance and Elodie’s panel tomorrow yayyyyy!

#charlie cox #marvel's daredevil #elektra natchios #daredevil #comics #fan expo dallas #personal #sorry for any mistakes i am literally writing this in fits and starts and just posting it as is so i can get it out!

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dreamytfw · 6 years

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I’m bored and impatient again, so I’m answering stuff from an ask game. OP here. I just want to say preemptively that the shipping questions only pertain to me and how I ship or don’t ship them. I don’t care what y’all ship.

1:What is your Supernatural OTP? Destiel.

2:What’s your opinion on John Winchester? I have a lot of strong feelings about that fucking dickhead.

3:Which season finale was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: season 8′s was really good. Least favorite: season 10. We almost had Dean in space.

4:Which is your favorite episode? Either Changing Channels or The Man Who Would Be King

5:Which episode makes you cry the most? The episode where Ellen and Jo die ALWAYS makes me cry.

6:Which episode is the funniest to you? The Real Ghostbusters

7:What’s your opinion on Megstiel? I’m okay with it up to a point. That point is crazy!Cas.

8:When did you start watching Supernatural? The hiatus between seasons 7 and 8. I finished my Netflix binge something like the day before season 8 premiered.

9:Which episode title do you think is the funniest? The French Mistake. Gotta love Mel Brooks.

10:What’s your opinion on Garth? I loved Garth! Such a massively under-utilized character.

11:If you could bring back any character, would you? If so, whom? I’d like to finally get Adam out of Hell, but I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking.

12:Who is your favorite angel? Cas. Duh.

13:Who’s your favorite archangel? Gabriel.

14:What’s your opinion on Wincest? Squicks me the fuck out. Sibling incest does in general. Like, we’re not supposed to want to fuck our siblings guys. That’s how we get Joffery and El Hachizado.

15:What’s your opinion on Lisa? (and Ben, if you want) Ben was kind of blah outside of his first episode. I really liked Lisa and how she refused to take any of Dean’s crap.

16:When did you start blogging about Supernatural? Uh... I think I jumped on board right away?

17:Do you think that Chuck is God? How old are these questions???

18:Do you have a favorite Dick (Roman) joke? If so, what is it? Not a joke, but I’m really weirdly amused that his actor does the voice of a recurring minor character in the Kingdom Hearts series.

19:Which is your favorite episode? We had this question before.

20:Who do you ship Sam with? Samena, but I really love fluffy snuggly Samstiel.

21:What’s your opinion on Destiel? OTP

22:Did you like the first or second Ruby better? iunno.

23:Who’s your favorite demon? Demon!Dean deserved a longer arc.

24:Do you read smutty fanfiction? I fucking write smutty fan fiction (I’m just bad at finishing and publishing it).

25:Do you think Destiel will become canon in season 9? (Regardless of whether you want it to or not) Christ this is old. Unfortunately they did not. But fingers crossed for season 14, aka their 10 year anniversary.

26:Have you ever had a dream about Supernatural/the characters/the actors? If so, can you describe what you remember? All the time. I used to be able to lucid dream to some extent, but since I’ve gone off my psych meds I can’t seem to do it as much anymore. The most recent one I had was the other night. I don’t remember it too clearly, but Sam and I said bye to Dean and Cas before heading off on some sort of mission or something.

27:Which episode is the scariest to you? (Horror-movie type scary) That episode where Sam got his throat ripped out this season was the first time Supernatural has actually scared me. Other episodes have been suspenseful, but I was legit scared during those mine scenes.

28:What’s your opinion on Sabriel? I don’t really see it. MAYBE unrequited on Gabriel’s side, but other than that I just don’t get the appeal.

29:Do you think End!verse will happen? If so, are you looking forward to it? Well, Lucifer’s dead now so I’m guessing no. If End!Verse does happen, Dean and Sam’s places are going to be swapped.

30:Do you have any friends off of the Internet that watch Supernatural? Yes.

31:Do any of your family members watch Supernatural? I got my dad and my brother to watch it, but they kind of dropped it. My mom is currently watching it and I regret everything that has led to this point in my life.

32:What’s an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have? The “romantic” subplots in the Scoobynatural episode were gross and the episode would have been better without them.

33:Do you like AU fanfics? DO I!!!!

34:Have you ever written/started writing a fanfic? See my answer to number 24.

35:What’s your opinion on Samifer? That... really depends on the vessel Lucifer is in. See, I’m a fan of selfcest so if I do read Samifer stuff, I always imagine it as Sam basically fucking himself.

36:If you have an OTP, at what point did you start shipping it? First time I watched. Literally that second episode Cas was in when he was standing in the kitchen with Dean and told Dean to show him some respect I was just like “...are they gonna fuck?”

37:Do you think Sam should have completed the demon trials? Nah.

38:Which director/writer is or was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention to the good writers because I’m too busy enjoying their content. Least favorite: Bucklemming really needs to be fired or relegated to only filler episodes.

39:Which actor would you most like to meet in real life? MISHA!

40:If you could be any character on the show, would you want to? If so, whom? If not, why? Nah. I kind of like being me. I’m the only person I know how to be.

41:Do you prefer cake or pie? Both ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

42:What is your opinion on Sastiel? Is it Samstiel or Sastiel because I just don’t know. I prefer it fluffy. For whatever reason I have trouble getting into smutty Samstiel.

43:Have you ever made a Supernatural reference out loud and received strange looks from some of the people surrounding you? Yes...

44:Have you ever cried over a non-OTP ship from the show? I’m not entirely sure what this question means... Like, have I ever cried over characters in the show that I don’t ship? Yeah. It’s Supernatural.

45:What is your favorite moment from any of the gag reels? “When did you forget how to act?” “Season 2?”

46:Superwholock? Please no.

47:What is/was your favorite Sam hair length? I really liked season 10.

48:What’s an unpopular ship you have? Meg/Bela. Don’t ask, I don’t understand it either.

49:What’s your opinion on Wincestiel? I prefer it as more of a love triangle where Sam and Dean are fighting over Cas’s affection than as a throuple.

50:Can you dig Elvis? Fun fact: I never finished that fan fiction. I loved every moment of it, but I got as far as Dean meeting Adam in Vietnam before I chickened out because I knew there was a bunch more pain on the way.

51:Do you listen to Carry On Wayward Son even when you’re not just watching a finale? I used to, but I’ve since been conditioned to feel pain every time that song starts playing.

52:What’s your opinion on Zachariah? Good antagonist.

53:Do you think Adam will ever get out of the cage? (not as Michael) Not at the rate we’re going.

54:Do you think Sam should have completed the trials? Why are there repeat questions?

55:How long would you survive as a hunter? I wouldn’t.

56:What’s your opinion on Calthazar? Foxhole love/friendly former fwb.

57:Do you have a Netflix account? If so, what’s your username and password? Wait a second, just the first part. I do and I’ve basically just been watching Supernatural on it the past month or so.

58:Have you ever participated in GISHWHES? I did the first year (the one with the pigeon rat mascot). It was fun, but it was stressful to the point where I don’t want to do it again.

59:What movies/shows have you watched because of (or by coincidence) Jared, Jensen, or Misha? Jared: House of Wax... kind of. I turned it off as soon as he got murdered because it was just awful. I also tried watching Gilmore Girls, but I dropped it after two episodes because every character in that show is either a terrible person or blah. The Supernatural Anime. Jensen: My Bloody Valentine, Batman Under the Red Hood. The Supernatural Anime (I know he only voiced the last episode, but he was in it so it counts). THAT ONE EPISODE OF WISHBONE AKA MY CHILDHOOD. Misha: the TSA short films, Karla, NCIS

60:If you could change just one thing about the series, what would it be? I’d make Dean better at using his god damn words.

61:If you were at a Con, what would be a question you would ask?(can be any of the actors) UUUUHHHHHHHH...

62:Why did you start watching Supernatural? Saw it all over tumblr. Got curious. It’s all been downhill from there.

63:What’s your opinion on Sam/Crowley? That’s a thing??

64:What’s your biggest fear for season 9? I honestly don’t remember what it was.

65:What’s your favorite (or at least a memorable) pop culture reference that has been made on the show? Them referencing themselves is always pretty great.

66:Just a random confession you have regarding the show/Asker makes up their own question.

#spn #supernatural #ask stuff

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