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neteyamsilly · 2 years

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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 6

summary ;; This is the reality of Jake Sully: the father and Olo'eyktan of the People cannot coexist, Eywa teaches her lessons in the toughest ways. PART 5 | NEXT (wip) pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; well this took a hot minute. am back on my bs WARNING for violence and t0rture, reader discretion is advised. Please excuse my mistakes if you see any!

Jake moved on pure primitive instinct, unbridled arctic rage honing all his senses into one laser point of focus. It wasn’t survival, and it surely wasn’t prey running from predator, there was nothing noble about what he was trying to achieve.

That avatar was going to die today, and Jake was going to make it hurt. No fair game. No warrior’s death. No respect.

Devoid of the shape of humanity or the ties that bound him to it, he was the embodiment of a creature’s killer intent, body taking over and consciousness disappearing to the backseat as he catapulted his tomahawk at the avatar, taking advantage of the miniscule opening provided by a magazine change needed after emptying all of his bullets to a Jake luring him into wasting his resources away.

The dull squelch of the hand-carved ax’s head plunging into flesh couldn’t be dampened by the avatar’s choked and short shout, and Jake was jumping out of cover in no time, a bull to red, advancing towards the man, footsteps not hidden out of having no concern for it at all, let him panic or try to struggle for all Jake cared.

Opposite of what he expected, the rifle wasn’t picked up or fumbled to aim at him. The avatar, pale in the face and pupils having devoured the yellow, fear trumping the pain of his arm almost sliced off from shoulder, crawled away on his back from Jake in full speed, getting up before Jake could reach him, and started staggering into the forest, dropping the tomahawk in the process.

Jake stopped in his tracks for a moment and picked his weapon up, the dark liquid glistening purple in the light of the Tree of Souls, droplets of blood making the moss light up as they hit the ground. His chest heaved in controlled, loud breaths, mouth pulled back in a snarl, watching the pathetic son of a bitch trying to get away.

He was one of the lot who’d shot you, hurt you, tortured you — simply to get a reaction out of Jake.

He was the one who pulled Jake away before he could fix his mistakes, undo the damage they had done, and get you back.

Jake was so close. So close.

You were there. You were right there. He could still feel you in his arms, his shoulder imprinted with your tears, shiest of smiles at a better future he could build with you from the burnt soil of your relationship.

If it hadn’t been for him…

That man was your murderer.

He deserved the hell of a father’s making.

This avatar was a marine — and the fucking idiot was running into the oblivion blind worse than a normal civilian would in this situation, had all those years of training evaporated in one second? Jake’s steps were determined, yet lax following after the guy, nose picking up the trail of blood left behind, eyes watching the red splatters. This was all Hansel and Gretel for him, playing follow the breadcrumbs.

The sound of thumping, frantic running, bumping into obstacles, crashing into flora, all was distinguishable from the natural song of the forest Jake had gotten so familiar with in these fifteen years. No response came from the avatar, but Jake wasn’t hurrying. He would have him. Let the bastard tire himself out first — but he wouldn’t let him die. No. He could smell the fear, the blood, anger at bay, all ice, knowing the trees would carry all the sounds he needed to Jake. He could hear exactly where the avatar was. and If he was hoping he’d bleed himself out faster than Jake could reach him to save himself from what was going to happen, well…

He’d better start praying for mercy to whatever deity held his worthless faith, because Jake had none of it. They had no mercy for you, his sinless, innocent child, all but wails and yelps and blood, and apologies for it.

Every time Jake thought of you in that tremendous pain to the brink of delirium, he burned in his heart’s ice until he was black and purple all over. Your smile was so real, your embrace was tiny and warm in his arms and he had a chance, the only chance no parent could ever get in this life. Jake had dissolved together with that mirage.

The part of him engulfed in flames wanted to end this quickly and painfully—to burn it all, break that man in, scream his lungs out, the other part of him, frozen fury that scalded over in the loss of you, wanted to draw it out, wanted to inflict never-ending pain, to bring the avatar back from the brink of death over and over again just to repeat it in a cycle.

His child. His baby.

The ties that held Jake together were getting pulled tight, the pressure building like deep water currents, thinner threads snapping and crackling, body being pulled to all five directions from all five limbs. Awareness went out and barged its way back in hot flashes, he couldn’t comprehend the passing of time and how long he let your murderer catch the delusion of shaking Jake off his tail — but, his instincts knew to reveal himself before the avatar could be claimed by blood loss.

Dangling hope right in front of his face just to snatch it away wasn’t enough. It could never be enough compared to you who had dragged your own corpse back home, muted to your own pain cocooned between those who should have meant nothing but home and safety to you. Torture. You had lived torture in your last hours with help just one step, one word away.

Nothing would ever be enough.

Jake emerged from the thick flora like the grim reaper himself who would always be waiting right at the spot of the reaping wherever the soul ran away to, detached and unimpressed, blank face not reflecting the scorched soul inside. The almost passed out avatar jolted awake when he smelled the smoke from Jake’s shadow falling on him, and could only press his back further to the body of the cluster of big rocks he had taken shelter against as if somehow becoming one with it could shield him away from Jake’s wrath.

The man’s breathing was getting louder and shakier the more Jake stood there motionless. “C’mon then,” he said between clenched teeth, spasming hand dropping from his mutilated shoulder, squaring up the last drops of his courage. “Get on with it.”

Jake’s whitened fingers were making noise against the handle of his tomahawk, but his voice was hauntingly hollow, unfeeling now that he had the man right in his palm. “Thought I should let you live what you did to my daughter first.”

The avatar began to scream. “Fuck you, man, we didn’t do none of this shit to that kid—”

Jake’s tone didn’t change, but it cut worse than a knife. “You killed my kid.”

His eyes widened, breath hitching, the reality of what was coming to him finally sinking in and Jake witnessed every panicked second of it. “Fuck…” His gaze wildly alternated between Jake and the tomahawk, raising his better, trembling hand up for feeble defense. “Look, look, listen, we didn’t kill her, alright? We patched her up, okay, she was going to be a prisoner, what happened happened because you engaged in battle, we wouldn’t do that to a—AGH!”

He was interrupted by Jake sharply shoving the head of the tomahawk into his injury, just putting it in there, not moving it further down. “Do you have children, marine?”

The man palmed at the weapon, fingernails digging into the wood, but no matter how much he pushed, it didn’t budge one bit. “Stop, stop! Fuck—”

Jake repeated again, firmer. “I asked you a question, do you have children?”

“No!— No, god, argh!”

He spaced out for a while, watching him squirm and trash to get away with defeated, half-assed attempts, also unable to because of how much of an immovable object Jake was making the weapon buried in the open wound be. It would hit the bone if he used more strength.

With a fixed, stony stare, Jake removed the tomahawk, waiting for the man’s deplorable whimpers to recede before breaking him the news like reading it off a doctor’s report. “You won’t get to have any.”

He didn’t look like he cared about something like that, but the man knew his fate insinuated by the words. Nevertheless,it didn’t mean he could be free from the survivor’s instinct’s mood swings his body was putting him through. Denial to bargaining within minutes. “Just kill me already, you deserter piece of—”

“Oh, no, no no,” Jake reassured, the only flicker of emotion he had shown since he’d cornered the avatar. “You won’t get to die for a long time, either.”

The avatar grunted, head falling down before he started to shake it. “Please just let it end—man, just let it end, I’m sorry, okay, please!” A whole body-trembling begging shifted to anger the more Jake remained non-responsive. Watching. Just watching. The hole in his chest getting wider the more he fed this man’s suffering to it — it wasn’t enough. “Just fucking do it! Pussy ass bitch! Come on you blue motherfucker, kill me! Kill m—”

“Are you the one who shot my daughter?”

“What?”

“Are you. The one. Who shot my daughter?”

The avatar’s face twisted. “It wasn’t me—it wasn’t—asshole, you already killed the guy, I didn’t fucking do anything!—”

“You... didn’t do anything?”

A beat. The forest fell silent in Jake’s ears. Just like how the noises you made had abruptly died down as he was putting pressure on your wound.

And like that, the thick haze that had Jake desensitized blew over, unadulterated anger rushed to his body, acidic and nauseating, soul stitching back to his limbs by a million needles and he began to shake, face contorting, teeth showing itself, the hiss that lacerated his throat was the most terrifying one of his life yet, it didn’t sound like it belonged to a sentient being, twisted by a grieving, demented animalistic horror. The avatar’s breath hitched, whatever protest and voice he had escaping deep inside his body, ears pinned back to his head.

“Of course,” Jake glowered, swallowing the scorching stones blocking his throat. He closed his burning eyes, and was greeted by the image of you, opening them back again, and shaking the ax as if it was an accusing finger.

And without a word of warning, his hand shot down and grabbed the avatar from the neck of his tactical vest, hurling him over the chest-level array of big rocks forming a pointy bed above, ignoring the cries of pain as the abused, torn open flesh of the wound dragged through the sharp teeth of the gravel, dousing them in blood. “Please, please, stop!—I’m sorry, I was wrong, that wasn’t right, shit, shit!”

Jake snatched the man’s dominant arm that was coincidentally the same one dangling by fractured bone and tendons from the shoulder. His soul had known what he wanted right from the start before his brain had processed it. “This hand,” he spat, holding it from the wrist, gnashing his teeth. “that pulled the trigger at me…”

Murdered his daughter for a second time.

All a soldier’s worth for. One hand to hold the stock tight against the body and one to fire. All that to take a single life.

Leaning the hand down against the rock in a sudden move, Jake slammed on the blunt, pointy end of the tomahawk on it like he was hammering a nail, the sickening crack of the bones breaking got followed by the avatar’s fractured scream.

Jake saw you hunched, cheekily laughing in the blue and purple of the creek, freckles glowing because of the eclipse, silhouette illuminated by the floating bioluminescent bugs.

Spinning the tomahawk in his clammy hand in a full 360 turn, he smashed it down once more, stronger. The metal broke skin and sank into spongy muscle. His ears were buzzing, ringing from how the shrill yells.

Jake was hugging you after what seemed to be years, and your little arms were clinging to him for life — you were sand slipping from his fingers.

Jake hammered again.

You were telling him how mean he was to you, your voice suppressing the avatar’s.

He brought it down one more time and felt the tomahawk recoil from hitting rock.

You were bashful as you repeated how Jake would always love you.

Guttural breaths getting louder with effort each hit, he kept slamming it down until everything was his beautiful little sweet girl.

Again.

Again and again and again and again and again until there was no resistance from the limb anymore and the man had gone silent and it was all mashed meat he was pounding—

And then he almost plunged it to your bleeding, battered corpse, your stomach covered in reddish brown from the dried brown, body ashen blue, and Jake cried out in terror, jumping back and losing strength in his legs as the tomahawk flew from his hand and he fell over.

His lungs constricted, refusing to take any breaths in and his heart ricocheted around in his ribcage, he was gaping at the wall of rock now washed red as if it was some white rose painted red in Alice in Wonderland.

Jake sat there for the longest time, dissociated.

In those moments, he wasn’t Toruk Makto, he wasn’t Olo’eyktan, he wasn’t the pillar of a family of seven. He was simply Jake Sully.

However, he wasn’t allowed to be stripped down to the bone until all that’s left was a mourning father. That was Jake’s reality.

He had to cast the crippled man aside, the tragedy of his child away, and bring the leader of the People out right as your ghost rippled in his vision, watching spitefully within the forest — because all you wanted was for him to be your father, and he couldn’t even fucking do that after your death.

This avatar was a valuable asset, a hostage to question. For the sake of his people.

He wasn’t allowed revenge.

A single drop of tear rolled down expressionless face. When he looked down, Jake’s hands were still stained with your blood.

The only instance a child should be covered in blood is when they come out of their mother’s womb, little lungs being burned with existence for the first time, crying from the pain of being separated from Eywa’s arms, birth mother a complete stranger to them.

The gore of you barely clinging to life, unmoving, drenched in your own blood, wiped and wiped to the point Neytiri had to change buckets of water until it turned light pink was overlapping with the joyful image of your newborn self she had lovingly and gently cleaned of the remains of labor with wetted mothsilk, skin too sensitive for water for the moment, the blue coming alive as the blood and other clotted bodily fluids were cleansed.

It wasn’t the broken, ice-cold, lithe body of a young girl Neytiri had cleaned in the torment of her excoriated, unraveling mind, it was her baby’s. Her baby, her poor baby with a gaping hole in the middle of your body, memories marauding Neytiri’s lucidity.

She lived the moment of your first cleansing over and over again.

You were a particularly indomitable cryer, Neytiri had known you would be infamous for your battle cries right as she was brought back from the blackout of post-birth by your overly-healthy wailing — or perhaps you would best Ninat as a singer when you’d unapologetically blossom, but one thing was ascertained: her first daughter was a fierce, fiery blue ball of ardor compared to Neteyam, who was almost shy and reluctant in disturbing people around him in his weeping that a collective worry for his health had plagued the whole clan.

As you squirmed, smeared in chunks of her flesh and blood, as if you wanted to jump off from her arms and start walking already, Neytiri had smiled up at her Jake, your father, unable to take his eyes off you, stuck between awe and laughs that came and went. “She has your heart,” she’d told him, spent and hurting, but wonderfully alive. “Strong.”

He’d traced his thumb through her drenched hairline. “Lungs, you mean?” His scent, wind and hearthfire, had enveloped Neytiri when Jake had leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I think they’re yours.” The teasing about how you had made Neytiri scream in labor wouldn’t have gone unpunished if she wasn’t on the edge of sleep held up only by your crying, so, he’d gotten a light hit on the side of his face instead. But Jake knew how to apologize, he’d always been spectacular at it. “I’d say she takes after me in appearance, look at her little ugly face.”

To Neytiri, you were beautiful, face dark purple from how strong you were screaming, and a mini-village elder with the wrinkles, swinging those little fists — things that made you lovely in her eyes. Her first daughter.

She had learned motherhood from Neteyam, but she would learn to understand her mother and her choices through you, someone she thought couldn’t be more different from her — Neytiri, all Mo’at could have been, and Mo’at, all Neytiri might have become, once. She prayed you would love her as much as she’d begun to love you the second you were in her arms.

To think the enormity of her love hadn’t reached you — it was one of the greatest failures of Neytiri’s life. If it had, you’d be wounded, but perfectly conscious and well in her mother’s tent. If it had, you would have been beyond comfortable telling those demons had hurt you.

In that all-consuming devastation, the woven towel she was using to wipe the thin sheet of sweat that formed on your body slipped from her uncoordinated hands and fell on your chest, and Neytiri had to hold back the breath that spiked to become a hiccup by covering her mouth, and immediately, her curled hand was engulfed in a smaller, five-fingered one. She came eye-to-eye with Kiri after raising her head, putting her other hand on hers at the girl’s more disheveled and messy self, heart dropping to her stomach at the fatigue varnishing an extra layer of moisture in her daughter’s drooping eyes.

“Oh Kiri,” Neytiri mumbled, caressing her cheek and brushing the tangled hair away from her face.

“Why don’t you go get some rest, mom, hm?”

“Even if I somehow agreed to that, I could never agree to leaving my daughter alone in this.”

“I’m fine.” Stopping to take a breath, she sighed, collecting the towel and starting to fold it. “Well, not really fine, but don't worry about me. We’re all miserable here. And that’s natural.” Fiddling with the corners of the cloth, she leaned in a bit and lowered her voice, light reflecting from the yellow of her irises making it look like they shone from within. “I… I know she’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Eywa has bestowed us a gift she has never given to anyone before and it’s for a reason. I feel that everything will be set right.” She shook her head up and down, determined. “Dad will do it. I know he will.”

Neytiri trusted Kiri with her intuition and understanding when it came to the inscrutable intentions of Eywa, she was closer to the Great Mother than any Tsahik was — so close that she would drift away too much from her family. And deep down, Neytiri was heartsick by this invisible line that separated her from her daughter, any parent in her place would be unsettled like this.

She was also hog-tied to close the distance growing between them because of the human boy Spider and how she would find camaraderie in him in their ‘orphan’ status as she called it. Kiri was already faraway in her obscure existence and unwittingly separated herself as if she didn’t see herself as a real part of the family some days, and Neytiri hated that the ‘kinship’ she’d formed with Spider was planting these ideas into her head when she was her and Jake’s daughter, no more, no less. To overwrite those feelings, she tried so hard to reach Kiri, but was unsettled by the feeling of being hated sometimes, again, more or less for her stance in placing Spider at the outskirts of their family.

But oftentimes Kiri would express her affection through small, otherwise unnoticeable actions, just like this one, a caring touch and reassurance that could melt an ice cube — and Neytiri basked in the babiest of steps between them. And maybe this was how Jake had it with you, too, she had never thought about it like this before.

Taking in Neytiri’s solemn silence, Kiri grumbled, suddenly agitated about something. “I just… I just wish I had isirka resin and xhikul seeds for this paste and cover her wound with it. Grandmother’s extract isn’t enough to stimulate the bone marrow and ugh—” The girl groaned with the obvious guilt at groaning in the first place, as well. “I’m sorry, mom, I don’t know what—”

“It’s alright, Kiri,” Neytiri said, weariness blending with tenderness, knowing you’d agree too. You would have probably told her to not waste her energy and wait around when there wasn’t anything left to do anyway. “Maybe it’s you who needs some rest. You’ve worked hard. Harder than any of us. You do need rest, too.”

Kiri was quick to refuse. “I’m trying something new, I can’t go anywhere.”

“I’m sure one of your brothers—”

Her earpiece buzzed alive. “Neytiri, do you read me?”

The unexpected timing of it caught her off guard, her hand flying up to the device, drums of alarm going off in her head by the croaky, despondent note to his voice. The impact of their previous argument evaporated from existence just by hearing his distress. “Jake?” She focused on you, not observing any difference, and frowned in worry, her pulse picking up pace as Kiri also locked her attention to her the moment she heard her father was on the line. “What happened?”

“I have here one of Quaritch’s dreamwalkers—whatever they are.” Neytiri’s mouth opened and closed at the reveal, forehead creasing. “Alive. Somehow survived to get to the Tree of Souls.”

Her hand instinctively descended to touch your cool and clammy arm closest to her. “Tree of Souls…? But you were—”

“Yeah. Yeah, he… I couldn’t. I couldn’t…”

She stared at your face, all thoughts draining from her mind. “What are you saying, Jake?”

Silence.

“Jake,” Neytiri implored, her voice snuffed out towards the end. She tried again. “Jake, I don’t understand. What does this mean..?”

“Son of a bitch pulled me out before I could… before I could finish talking to her.” Kiri reached for her when she let out an incoherent, disbelieving voice, getting more panicked as Neytiri clawed at her tightening chest with his next words. “I failed, Neytiri. I couldn’t… She…”

Neytiri was physically helpless to respond, and Kiri couldn’t hold back from inquiring seeing the state she was in. “Mom? Mom! What’s wrong?”

“This man, if it wasn’t for this man, I had it.” Jake kept talking at an increasing speed the longer Neytiri didn’t say anything. “I had her right in my arms, making future plans, smiling, everything was perfect, and then he—” His breath quivered. “He fucking—” And he stopped the sentence abruptly to get some semblance of control back because Eywa knew Neytiri was losing it ever so slowly. “I need you here with me right now, please. Please, I…”

Neytiri refused to acknowledge what Jake couldn’t say out loud. You were still breathing, she felt your chest rise and fall even if the pattern was weak. You had life left in you. Jake saying he failed made no sense to her, she didn’t believe it.

“Neytiri, I need to question this… this filth, need to learn all I can about what’s going on, but I can’t do it on my own. I’ll kill him. In a heartbeat. I want to squeeze the life out of him with my hands right this moment and I— I can’t… We have to know how they could have gotten this far, what they’re planning—and now right to the Tree of Souls too, and…” The rambling that got chaotic and disconnected faded off eventually, as if he’d lost his voice. “Shit.”

And throughout all that, Neytiri had gone from confused, in denial, at the threshold of grief but not nearly in there anchored by your pulse, and lusting for blood within minutes. Kiri was taken aback by the anger radiating from her. “Bring him here!”

“I can’t. He could have a tracker on him—they could have put it in his body. I can’t risk that.”

Neytiri stood up with only one thing in her mind, and it didn’t match Jake’s. “Where are you?”

“You gotta let me pass, buddy, come on! You wanna take my head off or something? Why are you being like this!”

Hands up and quick on his feet, Lo’ak was trying to negotiate.

With an ikran of all things. Not even his.

Yours.

Mom storming out like a wronged, vengeful spirit had been the perfect chance for him to do a quick supply run sneak off, but your overgrown big bird with the exact same attitude as you was getting in his way and blocking Lo’ak off by snapping its jaw at his head and opening its sunset fire tinged wings every time he attempted to cross over to his own ikran. They were basically at a standstill and he had no idea why.

Lo’ak just wanted to help. Help you.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Shit.

Neteyam. Making his way to him with such speed that got his braids swinging and of course he’d sniffed Lo’ak out like a nantang. Followed the odd silence, probably. Eywa, he should have thought this out better.

“Skxawng, do you not remember what dad said?”

“I do,” Lo’ak hummed and hawed, and that was the problem. He’d never felt this guilty about disobeying dad’s orders before, it was making him squirm. “But look, Kiri said she needed isirka resin and xhikul seeds or whatever to treat her, I’m going—”

Neteyam’s jaw had flexed when he said whatever, but there was no visible agitation after he gave a sharp breath through his nose. “So let’s call mother or—”

“They’re busy with some sky person dad caught—”

“I know. The same ones who did this to our sister. I know, Lo’ak.” Neteyam aggressively gestured to the exit of the cave system, shaking his arm while speaking. “What do you think will happen if you go off on your own and land yourself in bigger trouble than she did? Huh?”

Lo’ak threw resentful looks at your ikran. “I can’t stay put like this. I have to do something.”

“This again? There is nothing we can do.” He hadn’t said that in his normal drilling of dad’s orders — Neteyam had the same pain of acceptance that were Lo’ak’s bruises etched onto his face.

And that made Lo’ak want to throw up all over the place. He’d experienced countless sicknesses his siblings had fallen to over the years, none of those were as fatal as this and he didn’t know what the fuck to do. What was he supposed to do when his sister was dying? What did one do when a family member was in this situation anyway? Nothing seemed right to him.

And something was finally, finally within his power — and Lo’ak would of course rise up to the challenge without hesitation. He wasn’t just going to sit down and let that possibility of your salvation slip by. “But there is. Kiri said—”

“Lo’ak if you leave right now and somehow get caught dad will never trust you again. He was the most open he’s ever been, don’t betray him like that.”

He was getting annoyed that Neteyam was ignoring the whole point, though it wasn’t as if Lo’ak didn’t know. He was fully aware, and that’s why this was supposed to be a secret. Dad couldn’t be hurt by what he didn’t know now, could he? Not only were you getting Kiri’s remedy, which he was sure as his name was Lo’ak that would end up most effective, but he also wasn’t breaking his promise to dad when the tiniest thread of trust in his son was knotted by the man just recently.

Neteyam grabbed him by the top of his head in a brotherly manner but his hold was of steel, the boy tried to grumpily push him off but he didn’t budge, staring right into his soul. “Use what’s in this for once and just tell dad or mother, they’re down in the forest already anyway.” When he let go, Lo’ak stumbled back, rubbing the sting off, and the semi-playful older brother was back. “And one of them will actually know what to look for.”

His immediate response was refusal. “I know what I’m looking for—”

“What does isirka look like?”

The sounds your ikran was making was eerily close to laughter and Lo’ak felt heat rush up to the tips of his ears. “It’s a tree.”

Neteyam didn’t have brow hair like Lo’ak did, but the way he raised the lines was always more expressive than how he did it. “Xhikul, then?”

“Flower, skxawng.”

“Wrong.” Lo’ak’s tail started beating the air at the condescending tone. “Kiri is talking about the fruit. Xhika is its flower.”

He rolled his eyes, turning away. “Whatever—”

“Is it whatever?” Neteyam grabbed Lo’ak by the shoulder and spun him around so rough that he got dizzy. “Are you calling my sister’s life whatever?”

Lo’ak was going to explode from how wrong this was going and how insistent Neteyam was to twist his words. “That’s not what I meant bro!”

“You are so careless.” Neteyam’s tail had shot up ramrod straight, the little bush of hair at the end of it all puffed up, ears perking in all directions. He wasn’t necessarily yelling but was tense all over, something he did whenever they were playing back in the day and he was about to pounce after staying still enough to implant a false seed of safety. “You don’t even think about what can happen if you were to bring a completely different ingredient! You don’t think!”

“Sorry that I’m trying to help! What are you doing?”

“Keeping us safe. Keeping you safe.” He pressed his lips together on a thin line, but couldn’t hold back whatever was bubbling inside. “I’m not losing another sibling, Lo’ak!”

Only a small gasp escaped Lo’ak when he opened his mouth in retaliation. He couldn’t have found his voice even if he found something to say to that rawness in return, anyway.

The gut-churning guilt doubled.

“Hey… I—”

“Go,” Neteyam whispered, tilting his head together with the lone word. “Since you’re dying to help, help Kiri. She’s exhausted. I don’t think grandmother will refuse.”

“What about you?” And there he goes again. Wrong words. Neteyam was looking more closed-off than before. “I’m not accusing or anything—”

“I can’t go in there.”

“What?”

“I can’t,” Neteyam took a deep breath and loudly let it go, tail deflating, the arch of it depressing as hell for some reason. “I can’t look at her.”

Neteyam just gave a forlorn smile in return to Lo’ak’s heavily concerned looks demanding he continue but not knowing how to word it, his back looked weirdly lonely as he was tending to your significantly calmer ikran to join back the horde.

Buried in negative thoughts all the way back and ignoring the pitiful looks from the rest of the clan, he met Kiri outside of the healing tent talking to Spider, and he could see Tuk’s back covering the view to you in his peripheral.

They were whispering about something and it was obvious even from a distance where they were nothing but stick figures. At least try to look less suspicious, Lo’ak thought.

The only part he caught from the conversation was Spider saying, “Just describe them to me,” — Kiri was really leaning in towards him.

“What’s going on?”

The two looked like they were caught in the middle of scheming, and it clicked almost immediately.

If Lo’ak had thought of going off on his own, so had they.

“You aren’t going anywhere, bro,” he said, draping his arm across the human boy’s shoulders. “Neteyam’s literally patrolling.”

“You have to be kidding me,” Spider groaned, visibly disappointed. It warmed Lo’ak’s heart to see he was totally down for sneaking off the camp for you. “You said your dad told him to rest.”

“Yeah, he did. Except Neteyam never rests. He has a dancing glow worm up his ass.”

The conversation couldn’t continue because Kiri did a double take at something.

“Tuk!” Kiri took a few steps aside, squinting as if she didn’t think she was seeing it right. Then her expression burst into panic, her hands flying forward as she ran to the tent, Spider and Lo’ak could only stare, baffled. “Tuk, oh Eywa, what are you doing!—”

“I’m giving her water, she’s thirsty.”

“What?”

He actually rushed to the entrance of the tent, nearly falling headfirst in, having stumbled on some rock. Your mouth was actually open. And Tuk was really trying to get you to drink from the bowl she was holding against your mouth.

You choked at one point, still unconscious, but it was a sign of life. Lo’ak didn’t know if the shocked screech came from him or Kiri.

taglist: @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @alohastitch0626 @jackiehollanderr @lucciera @qvrcll @iloveavatar @velvtcherie @ssc7514 @goldenmoonbeam @neteyamforlife @itsluludoll @jakesullys-bitch @blubrryy @sully-stick-together @arminsgfloll @alice121804 @noname2246 @justthingzsblog @eywamygoddess @m-1234 @ellabellabus07 @hellok1ttycake @dakotali @bluefire12348 @abbersreads @yellooaaa @aimsro @octavias-next-meat-bite @nikqdn @nao-cchi @spicycloudsalad @yeosxxx @heybiatchz @winxschester @elegantkidfansoul

@eichenhouseproperty @kakimakiloh @dueiosy @liyahsocorro @dimplesxx @tigresslily@n8ivatar @strnqer @lillybbyy @jakesullyssluttt @r3dc4ndy @myheartfollower @gcldtom @bunnyrose01 @aceofheartzzz @ghoulbli @slasherfcker505 @ducks118 @megsthings @graykageyama @gwolf92

@thotd-f1 @httpjiikook @nipoxe @fussel9913 @gloryekaterina @nxptury @thesheelfsworld @heyyitsmaiaa @anyasullyyy @rey26 @in-luvais @em-100 @n7cje @kpopslur @holysaladapricothero @dedicateeverythingtomilkshake @maviee @grxcisxhy-wp @me-marilm @n39ro-chann

#dad!jake x daughter!reader #dad!jake sully x daughter!reader #dad!jake sully x reader #jake sully x reader #jake sully x daughter!reader #sully family x reader #mom!neytiri x reader #neteyam x sister!reader #neytiri x daughter!reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #kiri x sister!reader

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hwaightme · 10 months

Text

Timezone

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

🎸 pairing: rockstar!fiance!seonghwa x gn!reader 🎸 genre: fluff, long distance angst, established long-term relationship 🎸 summary: "Only thing that keeps us apart // Is a different timezone" - TIMEZONE by Måneskin; during a long tour, the only thing seonghwa wants is to come home to you, and to hold you in his arms 🎸 wordcount: 3.2k total 🎸 warnings/tags: not edited, language, songfic, enamoured simping activated, seonghwa misses you intensely, he is one step away from swimming to you, seonghwa has tattoos and lip piercings, lyricist producer musician rock singer hwa good luck to us all, words of endearment/pet names (baby, angel... etc) 🎸 taglist: at the bottom of the hcs 🎸 a/n: this is for @starrysvn the most wonderful, beautiful soul. thank you for being who you are, ilysm. and may this small manifestation of our shared delulus bring some sunshine~

There was no salvation for a heart that was on the verge of breaking. No call could replace the sensation of a lover’s whisper, no video could replace the feeling of skin against skin nor of a warm and reassuring embrace. The myriad of details that made you who you were seemed to be slipping through Seonghwa’s fingers, and he was a desperate man drowning in quicksand of responsibility and routine.

Every chord was a strike of the coldest and sharpest blade on his tired body, and the sweat trickling down his face as he yelled his emotions to thousands masked the tears that were welling in his eyes. It was unbelievable, how in the faces of millions the only features he could ever make out were those that resembled yours. In every cheer he could only hear you, how you could make his name sound like magic. The lyrics – a simple selection of syllables, words, always fell short of describing how he felt, and every song appeared trivial compared to the fire in his heart, to your existence in his life.

Too many miles separated you, and he would be damned if he were to say that he was fine with it. This was the unbelievable curse of his work. An artist, a singer, a musical innovator who had evolved from being in a group of hoodlums with a dream to being in a star-studded collective, a band that was paving the way for many others and inspiring loyal and new fans to reach the stars with them. But where was his star? Even when surrounded by the speakers, side by side with his friends on those grand global stages, this question never left Seonghwa’s mind. Losing sight of what he truly desired, he ran into an oblivion.

After the concerts, it was customary for the young man to spend some time with his fans, still on an adrenaline rush and thus were expecting interaction, further connection, and insights into the most recent performance. However, tonight, he could not even begin to find the energy to press the right button. Claiming that he was feeling a little under the weather, Seonghwa delegated the role of publicity man to another member and hobbled to his hotel room, collapsing onto the bed sheets not caring for the state of his clothes, his hair, nor for the creases that were undoubtedly going to form. This was no issue.

The electric guitar, his trusted comrade in composition and emotional turmoil, was left in a black case on the floor. Stickers marking the cities he had visited decorated a portion of the surface, while the rest was another depiction of you. Scurrying off the bed, he erratically shot to the case and brought it up with him, letting it rest by his side so he could admire the artwork more closely. Over many days, you had decided to surprise him by painting the dark leather, echoing famous renaissance pieces and intricate flora. Impeccable, incorporating nods to his and your lives through symbolism, be it in the hint of a star ship, a guitar pick, or a paintbrush hidden in foliage, it was a reminder of a life that he always wanted to live and to keep close.

He wanted to destroy the walls of his room. He wanted to break the glass, fight the agony of the sorrowful monster eating away at his soul with physically radical action, anything to take his mind away from the fact that you were thousands of miles away, and that when he was cursed to be awake, you were in dreamland. He could not even protect you from the nightmares that you sometimes had. He could not keep you close. You were unable to run your hands through his inky black, long and tousled locks as a way to calm yourself. Why was he doomed to sacrifice the heavenly touches and sweet words in favour of roaming the globe like a madman, screaming the same things into a microphone until they lost all meaning? Seonghwa missed you. Violently. Painfully. Aggressively. If it took raising hell to elevate him to your heaven before he would ultimately crumble, he would choose to do so in a heartbeat.

His hands inadvertently travelled into the pocket of his flared jeans, fishing out the device which he had been glued to for the full duration of his tour. At any spare second. Lockscreen – your smiling face, surrounded by the scenery of his hometown when you two went for a visit over the holidays. Tapping in the date of your birthday, he came face to face with a photo where you two were together – a candid picture snapped by his closest friend and fellow band member during a celebratory dinner; you two laughing at a joke shared between yourselves, so in love that every part of you and him were intertwined. Seonghwa wanted to break himself apart. Take his heart and mind out and douse them in cold water so that at least for a moment he could have some space to breathe before ultimately repeating: you, you you again. Fingers flying to tap onto the messaging app you preferred to use most often, though the two of you had conversations going on almost every piece of social media, he scrolled through your chats, relistened to the voice messages and scrutinised every photo until it was re-imprinted in his brain. As if he could ever forget in the first place.

He would likely be a laughingstock, wouldn’t he? A man with the world at his feet, wanting nothing more than to collapse at the feet of another. Sure, his fans were no strangers to the fact that there was ‘a special someone’ in his life, though since he made sure to keep his private matters truly secure, no one knew who was the reason why he woke up even when the day was promising challenge and turmoil. The only sign of his undying devotion that he dared to expose with shameless pride was the tiny red band around his pinkie, a simple line alluding to the string of fate, of soulmates. One night, not too long ago even though it seemed that you knew each other for your entire lives, when you had the chance to spend time together without worrying about work matters and could let time trickle past while stargazing, he proposed. Perhaps it was not traditional, the four words uttered only in passing after you had already blessed him with your agreement. Instead Seonghwa had suggested the permanence of a tattoo as a symbol for your love, and revealed his faith and devotion. Written in the stars, he found his guidance in you. Just like the constellations, galaxies and mythical creatures permanently etched on his skin, he wanted to live the neverending story with you.

As he shifted his grip on the phone to glance at the red band, Seonghwa could not help but imagine what you could be doing right this second. Could you be stirring from sleep? Could you be getting ready for another day at work? How was that one personal project you picked up going? He hammered out letter after letter on driven by what had to be an external power, so much mightier than him. The rockstar bit his lower lip, feeling a tug on one of the piercings, but that made him simply bite down harder.

I’m losing my mind.

Without hesitation, he sent the message into the void, hoping that you would not be too worried and simply accept it as one of his eccentricities as an artist. Finally, he tugged off the leather jacket that had been clinging onto his body, suffocating him, and collapsed back onto the bed. Exhaustion was a beast weighing down on him and pushing him into the mattress. Nothing but a lonely carcass, Seonghwa imagined himself as carrion left for the devouring by devious promoters, producers, agents and the like. Freedom was an interesting concept in his industry. Did he have it? Or was it the case that as soon as he gave into a dream, he signed his very being away to be an offering for the money-hungry world? He was definitely going mad. He needed you. Seonghwa missed you. Feverish, anxious, he grabbed a fistful of the duvet with his free hand and counted the passing seconds, too many of them, but not as much as the distance between where he was supposed and wanted to be, and where he currently was.

A loud ringing jolted him out of his paralysing ruminations – his phone. He rolled his head to the side, and upon seeing the incoming video call could not be faster in wriggling to rest on the headboard and answer. So you were awake, and in a couple of seconds… there you were, hair in a loose side braid, a familiar vintage t-shirt adorning your shoulders. You were at the desk – your home office, cradling what had to be a cup of coffee. Black, no sugar, no cream. Nothing. Just how you liked it.

“Hi baby,” you greeted him with the warmth of a thousand suns, and soon enough, his smile returned to him too, though still a little weak, beaten down by the weeks spent apart. It was still dark where you were, while for him it was already dark. It was easy to face when with you, however – nothing could be brighter than you.

“You’re wearing my old clothes?” Seonghwa could not help but ask, too curious to refrain from the inquiry. You looked down at the shirt momentarily before lifting your head and nodding.

“Yep. There’s been a change of plans so I am working from home today. And… I wanted to have a day-long hug from my fiancé.”

“You always wear them better, and I wish it were me and not the tee, angel,” he sighed, eyes trailing down what part of you he could see. He might be wrong, but you appeared to be a little tired, dark circles more prominent under your gorgeous eyes, and movements a fraction more lethargic than how they would usually be in the mornings.

“Is that what you were losing your mind over?” you attempted to lighten the mood, but Seonghwa could not play along when the joke was a reality. You caught onto this quickly enough, and paused to look at him more closely.

Seonghwa could feel the intensity of your inspection. It was as though you were reading him like one of the many books you had collected. Basking in the attention from his lover, he leaned further back onto the pillows and let himself think out loud.

“We have another flight tomorrow.”

“Yeah, next is the third to last concert, right-”

“I want to fly to you,” the young artist cut you off, staring at nowhere in particular as he voiced his one wish.

“It’s not too long now, Hwa, and then we have a whole month to ourselves. No touring. Home.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love. But also, I am proud of you. You are bringing dream to reality-“

“Fuck what I’m dreaming. What does all of this mean anyways?” he retorted, making you raise an eyebrow before leaning onto the desk.

“All of this means that you are yourself. You are an artist. A light for so many souls. And if you cannot hear this, then let me remind you that I love you, the you who is so driven, so talented and so hardworking. Park Seonghwa who has been destined to become a star and give hope to millions. You are yourself, and that is what is so precious and iconic about you.”

You had a way with words. You always did. Stepping in when he was at his lowest and managing to drag him out of what he had assumed was an abyss, you were his biggest supporter, cheerleader, muse. When he was afraid to put pen to paper or deemed a melody worthless, you were the one to encourage him to experiment, try things out regardless, and with such strength that now it was a philosophy he abided by; it never hurt to try, and perfection was impossible. What was achievable, however, was satisfaction and happiness with the self. It was more than enough to try. And now, you were the one fearlessly bearing the catastrophic mass that was his worries with the last tour dates.

“Oh how dare you…” he mumbled, lips trembling ever so slightly as he pushed out the words. Involuntarily a mist settled over his eyes, and Seonghwa’s surroundings began to blur.

“No, baby come on, don’t cry, or we’ll be crying together. Let’s stay strong for each other, yeah? Like the dragon you have? Let’s leave the tears for later, and hopefully make the source of them a happy one,” you cooed, your own heart being torn apart as you witnessed your lover’s vulnerability, raw misery expressing itself as the hard exterior of a professional rockstar fell away. The hint at one of his many tattoos made Seonghwa’s mouth twitch into a tiny smile, an adoring gesture to remind your fiancé that you could draw each of the masterpieces from memory, having spent many nights tracing them with your digits.

“I-… Y/N I… I love you so much, you know that, right?” The confession turned query was choked, feeble, fragile, an offering made of the thinnest glass. One that you would protect with your life.

“Hwa, I love you too. So much…”

“Everything makes me think of you…” fatigue was evident, coating his vocal cords thick with a somnolent huskiness.

“Soon, you won’t have to remember me. You will have me in real time. Will you look forward to that for me?”

“Always.”

One topic, another, talking about nothing and everything at once. Trivial matters transformed into beautiful tales. In what had appeared to him to be no time at all, you had to rush into your first meeting of the day, while he was left a little less lonely in the hotel room continents away from you, with only his guitar and your reassuring love to keep him company. A hope, an excitement rekindled in his chest, bubbling up and flying across the bloodstreams into a tingling sensation in the fingertips, and a pleasant, hazy buzz in his brain. Caught between what had to be sleep and delirium, Seonghwa moved exclusively on instinct. In a few movements, he produced a tattered notebook and pen that had listened to his every confession and flipped it to an empty page before setting it down on the sheets.

Carefully, he took the guitar out of its case, and upon checking that it was properly tuned let a few notes hang in the air. The longer Seonghwa stared at the wall, the more confident he became in the fact that he could see you standing there in front of him, and as the words began to pour, it was you who he was confiding in. When with you, he was not afraid. When dedicating yet another song to you, he could not care less for the lack of rest, for how he greeted the dawn. He had a week until the last show, and he sure as hell was going to make full use of it.

The arena was silent aside from a few yells, before they too, succumbed to the suspense. The spotlights were almost blinding, and Seonghwa suddenly felt grateful for the fact that his image allowed for sunglasses. Elegantly perched on the bridge of his nose, they masked his anxiety as he adjusted his microphone, setting it back onto the stand while the rest of the band was exchanging glances and making the last checks before the grand finale, what he had decided would be the last ‘official’ song of the concert, and therefore the tour. Of course, the audience would ask for an encore. Of course, he would step right back out on stage to perform it – the act had already been planned in advance. But it was this song, one that he and his closest friends had spent night and day finalising, recording, even sending off to be made commercial, that would be his final word.

“Distance is measured in miles, and in how strongly you feel them. This is ‘Timezone’,” following the brief introduction, he momentarily shut his eyes and sucked in a shaky breath. In that split second, he did not exist. He was not on stage, he was home. Seonghwa could feel your hand on his shoulder and could float in your perfume. This was no different to how he would play for you in the living room – anything you wished for, he would either perform or learn on the spot or even create. So, maybe, just maybe, you will be able to hear him now, too. And how he was calling out for you, and was counting the seconds until he could see you again.

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning

I'm coming home

Only thing that keeps us apart

Is a different timezone

A roar overtaking expressions of gratitude. With every bow the crowd grew wilder and wilder. Chants praising the song were unfathomably strong, and Seonghwa had no doubt that the videos would go viral. Would you see them? Would you message him after? He did not need the answers to these questions. Not when he almost dropped his guitar as he saw you standing backstage, arms open wide, a staff lanyard around your neck. He was thankful for how you did not mind his sweat-covered arms, his glistening forehead as he pressed himself against you. He was enamoured with how your lips fit perfectly together, piercings and all, as he planted one kiss after another, each one bringing him back to life. He was eternally devoted to every moment with you.

“I told you, soon, didn’t you?” He could not respond, instead choosing to nod lest he break down in the midst of his overwhelming elation, “same timezone…” you altered the lyrics – sunlight after a rainstorm.

“I’m home, Y/N,” he mumbled into your hair before pulling you even closer to him, arms wound tight around your body, fingers dancing on your back as though he was still in disbelief that you were here.

“Welcome home, my love,” he leaned into your hand that reached for his face, letting you cup it. With nothing to keep you two apart, Seonghwa let himself get lost in your eyes, the string of fate winding tighter and tighter until his, and your heart were both glistening in a healing gold, the hints of cracks sealed and more beautiful than ever, standing the test of time, of space, of dreams.

🎸 taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @archivesummer @little-angel-k @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy

enjoyed? please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. thank you, much love!

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gallusrostromegalus · 10 months

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AEIWAM: Why DOES the God Machine decay, anyways? It's operating outside of time and space. For that matter, I have Other questions about it. Why does it generate existence in the first place? Does it change its composition over time? Does it communicate with others like it? Did someone make it?

Strictly speaking, there is no reason for life to exist, here or in the fic. This is all just a very fun accident. Life exists in the 4 dimensions we're familiar with not because there is a reason FOR life to exist, but because there is no particular reason for life to NOT exist. I think it's the same in twelve or two hundred forty-seven dimensions. There's no reason for life to NOT exist outside of our understanding of time and space, so there's not particular reason to think it does not exist.

So the life machine exists, not because it was made, but because there is no reason it should not exist.

One thing that does seem to be true across different dimensions (and by "dimensions" I mean "measurable spectrums in which reality can exist", not "Alternate universes") is that death, or at least, entropy *does* exist. The universe we live in will eventually experience heat death. Time unravels under specific conditions and indications are that those conditions will eventually become dominant. All things, even the laws of physics, eventually die.

So the Life Machine dies, because for some reason, all things do.

...But also Things are born for no particular reason.

The big bang happened for no particular reason other than nothing was stopping it (kind of literally). Some people think that the universe will not experience heat death at all, but a dimensional collapse that crushes it all back together, before it explodes again, like a cosmic inhale and exhale.

Perhaps the Life Machine is not dying at all, so much as this version of it is reaching the next phase of it's life cycle, and it departs it's mortal coil not for oblivion but it turns to goop to reform into a body measured in entirely different dimensions.

Which is a bit of an upheaval for its microflora.

The Life Machine generates life in the same way you and I 'generate' the conditions of our intestines that support bacteria. If you ask most people, they do not think their primary purpose in life is to play host to billions of microorganisms, but that is very much something we do, and depend on.

Likewise, the Life Machine is misnamed, because it's got purpose beyond human understanding, like how humans have purpose beyond the understanding of eyelash mites. It's doing it's own thing, we just live here. but if all our microflora and fauna were to leave, it'd be a major problem for us, and if all life were to stop, it'd be a problem for the Life Machine.

In the Tarot, "Death" symbolizes change, and the Life Machine is Dying in the sense that it's definitely changing. Whether that change is the change from caterpillar to butterfly or from whale to whalefall is beyond the comprehension of Mortals, or even things like The Soul King.

Soul King's job is to keep the souls alive through this, and they achieve this by exploiting the fact that this change is also when the Life Machine reproduces. Regardless if the current Life Machine becomes a butterfly or a corpse, it's offspring will have suitable conditions for life to continue. Maybe this is a gift form parent to child- the life machine passes her internal flora to her offspring like a mother transfers her own colonies and antibodies to her child via colostrum. Maybe the Life Machine isn't thinking of it's offspring at all and this is all just the machinations of the parasites to propagate themselves into a new host for the sake of future generations.

Either way, neither action is planned or designed, but are still acts of love from a parent to child. Woman and Nematode alike loves her daughter.

TL;DR: As Above, So below, in the gooeiest and most incomprehensible but deeply loving way possible.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #bleach fanfic #philosophy #yes this is a fanfic but I can put my headcanons about the nature of god in here as well #and my theory is that God is like most science: intensely complicated and more than a little gross #but also deeply joyful and the more you know the more you love

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itsallaboutthebirds86 · 3 months

Text

The Dynamics of The Coven of Elders

Episode 27 got me thinking about how the witch’s domains complement/oppose each other so here’s my breakdown

Indri vs. Hecaea

Winter/Summer

Growth/Hibernation

The cycles of nature, creatures adapting to fit their environment

Exhaustion, being overtaken by the elements (smothered by plants/getting so cold your body shuts down)

Deception/Bluntness (the snow hides danger in its beauty/trees having no need to hide what they are)

Indri vs. Mirara

Sterile environments (cold and dark)

The stars/the blackness between them

Freezing/entropy

Memory vs nothingness (the stars seeing all/when nothing more exists memory and time become fictional)

Solitude as a choice for power/solitude as the very nature of your being

Indri vs. Grimore

Sterile cleanliness/rugged filth

Solitary predator/pact mentality

Stationary/always on the move

Strategy/instinct

Mind/Body

Indri vs. Ame

Solitude/Community

Openness/Secrecy

A welcoming hearth/a merciless blizzard

Passive observance/active engagement

Preservation/experience

Hecaea vs. Grimore

Woodsy Sistahs

Flora/Fauna

Aggressive Chase/Patient Trap Setting

Follow me on this one, but Stoner/Straight up Meth

Circle of Life

Hecaea vs. Mirara

Bitch vs Bitch

Constant yet slow growth and movement/stony stillness and apathy (how can anyone tell what you’re feeling with that mask on?)

Ancient Wisdom/Inevitable Demise (all your biting observations and witticisms won’t matter when all crumbles to dust)

Cycle of Rot and Growth/Cycle of Entropy (I’m thinking Ouroboros imagery especially with Hecaea’s bigass snake, both as the circle of life and the idea that eventually all that exists will destroy itself)

Hecaea vs. Ame

Woodsy gals but in very different ways

Letting the trees grow as they will/careful cultivation of a garden

Nature/Nurture

Tradition/Revolution

But also Tradition as a static preservation tactic/Tradition as a remembrance, a method of honoring what was and preparing for what is to be

Grimore vs. Mirara

Death as a Glorious Prize/Death as a Simple Truth (taking pleasure in taking life vs simply knowing it is the natural end of all things)

What’s watching you in the darkness

You Can’t Run From Me

Heat/Cold

Pain/Oblivion

Grimore vs. Ame

Magical Laws Are Not To Be Fucked With (this applies to all the witches of course but it is particularly prominent with these two I feel)

Fierce protection of one’s own

Death as tragic/delightful, but often necessary either way

Role as provider for a larger community or “pack”

Shepherd/Wolf

Mirara vs. Ame

Empathy/Apathy

Life being sacred for life’s sake/nothing matters bc we all die

Putting yourself at risk for the sake of balance/eliminating threats so balance is maintained by default

Humanity/The Universe (just because we’re small in the grand scheme of things doesn’t mean we don’t matter/the ONLY thing that matters is the grand scheme of things)

#this took me several hours #the coven of elders #the wizard the witch and the wild one #worlds beyond number #Erika ishii #wwwo spoilers

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screamingcrows · 1 month

Text

Nothing will be spared

Chapter 2 - Good luck fingering oblivion

Notes: Whatever. *yeets this*. Don't squint too hard at this, and do not use this for AI. Tags: dottore x fem!reader, reincarnation au, canon-divergent, angel reader, death, hurt/comfort, medium burn but it will go up in flames, teyvat speculation if you squint, written pre Natlan release Minors, blank, and ageless blogs; DNI

Nothing seemed remiss as you soared, cool air calming the flurry of nerves that felt on the verge of combustion. It felt mocking. The best course of action would be to inform Her of what had transpired, She would know what to do, She had to. Despite the ringing in your ears and the countless assurances of faith that clawed to gain hold at your mind, you had yet to return to Her embrace.

From afar, the place of your creation resembled a painting, foreboding oranges bleeding into the violent purple of the sky, further highlighting the ivory spires that had remained unmoved for millennia.

How many sunrises had you seen since Zandik's soul had been returned to the earth? It would only be so long before you had to return to Her embrace, lest they all grow suspicious.

What would happen once you admitted to such a critical lapse of judgement? There had already been doubt and distrust in the hearts of the other watchers, with this as proof of your incompetence, they were bound to plead that you be removed.

Discomfort weighed heavily at the prospect of being without purpose, wings beating a little harder to keep afloat as you paced in circles, as though the repetition could somehow change the inevitability of the outcome.

Guilt festered in an unseen wound that often had you wondering if it was akin to the unrest Zandik's fractures would surely cause. However much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, it would be folly to meddle with the mortal's life without knowing of potential repercussions. You resigned yourself to watch him from afar, needing some way to soothe the ache of impending doom that had lodged itself between your ribs.

Once you were certain there was nothing immediately wrong you would return and repent, She would know sooner or later. The best you could hope for was a merciful sentence.

He should count himself lucky, he supposed, to have been born within the imposing walls of a flourishing oasis, food and drink never further away than the tug of a servant's robes. Music wafted through the air from below, breaking the static those memories imposed and instead carrying a hint of spice and pungent flowers into the room. It was the twelfth time these celebrations were held in his name. Still, they were far more pleasant than memories that were no use denying, instances where he swore he tasted ash atop his tongue and the scent of burning athel clung greedily to his soft linens.

Most days were spent inside the safety of the palace walls, sheltered from the churning unrest that prospered in the wake of their wealth. Teachers came and went, bringing every imaginable combination of tomes, models, maps, even rare samples of flora and fauna were brought before the boy. None of them awoke any interest rivalling rhe night sky and the mechanical constructions walking the streets, much to the chagrin of them all. Both topics something he could only observe from afar.

'Mature for his age' - hardly a complement and more of a curse from their lips, lamenting the difficulty he brought. That time spent in bitter complaint could've been put to use listening instead, perhaps if they listened, they could make sense of how memories he hadn't made devoured his mind one fragment at a time.

Soft fingertips traced along the cooling limestone, chin resting atop the windowsill as longing and impatience thrummed with ferocity as darkness swallowed the horizon. The latest tutor had been a spindly man, his crooked fingers tracing simple symbols while expecting Zandik to mimic the movements. What good was receiving lessons in a language you already knew? No matter how fervently he studied, the language that should flow within his veins felt borrowed atop his tongue.

As did the name they used for him. Not quite right.

It wasn't the one summoned to the forefront of his mind whenever he was forced to give it out to some stranger. He buried his head briefly into the comforting embrace of his arms.

Many things were withheld from him that much he knew; a father who seemed unable to remain still in his company, a mother whose eyes shifted between complete vacancy and deep sorrow, knowledge he was barred from attaining. They kept things from him, that much was plainly visible, why else would he be denied unsupervised entry into the studies? Wasn't it in everyone's interest that he knew their history, all of it?

Flames licked along the streets, countless braziers having been lit to serve as backdrop for the celebration. Reminding himself that they were braziers, not pyres, shouldn't have been as difficult as it was. His head ached, the dull thud reminiscent enough of knocking against a door that a wayward glance was cast, waiting with frustration for cold silence to be the only response.

Blaming incense and heat for the fits of madness that had haunted him since the first time juvenile eyes had fallen upon a celestial chart was easy enough.

The wooden door to his chambers creaked open without warning, quickly followed by a call of that foreign name, causing the boy to spin, crimson eyes wide with indignation in hopes of scaring off the intruder.

"I want to be alone."

As recognition settled, he knew neither petulant expression nor clipped words would be enough, the smug smile upon the guest's lips confirming as much. Every creaking step she drew closer seemed to reverberate through his being, the almost ethereal youth warring with the few comments he had caught of his grandmother's age.

"Do not dismiss me so hastily, little one. I merely caught wind that my most adored grandson had once more refused to participate," the glint in her eyes spoke of unmatched cunning, "we all want to ensure your comfort."

A dead silence ensued as she went to perch on the bed, expectantly petting the spot beside her as the surface of her skin rippled. Not pure energy, but close. He knew the jinn had served his grandfather, the matter of love was something they refused to touch upon with him. For all the memories he had, there was no recollection of seeing anything but pale amusement. 'Our love was sweet as honey'.

"I'm fine," he knew it was a poor lie, still reluctant to tear his gaze from the sky as he sat beside the jinn, "don't like crowds is all."

"There'll be no grand banquets once you're king?"

The thought of assuming such a position, one bathed in sunlight, made his stomach churn with unease, tainting the firmness of his voice so he resigned to merely shaking his head. Just the thought of being surrounded by loud cheers had his mind running amok, screaming about a doomsday he didn't know. His heart pumped a little harder.

Fingers combed through his hair with foreign gentleness, for a moment causing his vision to flicker as another took the jinn's place, the phantom gone in a feathery cloud.

"How very unlike your line, I'm sure the city will prosper under your rule," she chose her words too carefully, "whatever you bring to the throne."

Assuming a mantle of power had yet to become a tangible concept despite how everyone outside his family already bowed down. Much as the stars, it was dangled just out of reach, inciting a longing that ran deeper than the unspoken clefts between them. Liloupar was always moving, shifting uneasily as an errant leaf caught in one of the many aqueducts their golden lord had filled with life.

Eyes closed, the sting of a palm against his cheek was easily summoned forth, "Father won't even let me near."

Not a beat of silence was allowed to pass before her laughter rang out, tousling his hair with more purpose than before.

"Oh don't fret over the inevitable. A day will come where he must lay down the mantle. It happens to everyone, just as it will happen to you," a sharp pinch to his cheek accompanied the flicker of darkness, "in a long long time of course. History writes itself whether we want it or not."

He simply shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable with the understanding in her voice and more than a little reluctant to engage. There was nothing to be done against her insistence, and soon enough, a servant had been called, bringing with them a wooden tray bearing two cups.

Crimson liquid sloshed up the sides of the cup, the drink deceptively sweet upon his tongue.

"Let me tell you a story, little one, of how you came to be," it caught his attention immediately, ignoring the bitter aftertaste now lingering at the back of his throat, "beautiful and kind, a delicate being descended upon this place-"

"The middle of the city? Wouldn't that have been-"

A rap to his free hand quickly dispersed any protests from the boy, and she continued with a satisfied hum, "Impatient little creature, this is long before any city stood here."

"I've heard this story a million times over already," he downed more of the crushed fruit, licking his lips and looking to the cup in her hands, grinning in satisfaction when it was relinquished.

"As I was about to say, she birthed life into these lands wherever she stepped, and formed bonds with other enlightened beings. A truly arrogant man refused to heed her warnings, and in her eternal kindness, she was lost to quell divine fury. Though we mourn her slumber, she remains with us in the blooming flowers and the gentle gaze of the moon, and one day, she will walk among us once more."

The full cup rested forgotten between his hands, eyes drinking in the starlight reflected in the Liloupar's eyes. His own thoughts had already begun drifting, caught on the last bit of her statement. 'Walk among us once more' had his consciousness diving into tainted waters, oblivious to the history lesson taking place. Though it certainly had more flourish, every tutor had already outlined The Mistress of Dreams' exploits.

"I helped your grandfather build this city after her passing, he was a beloved man back then," the beat of silence that passed wasn't enough for his thoughts to focus on her warning tone, "but you are even kinder and more brilliant already. Don't doom yourself to repeat our mistakes, many will offer you guidance, trust yourself, I'm certain you will lead our people to their destiny."

"I know my absence has been a burden upon you, believe me when I say it was not an easy decision," the falsehoods were honeyed upon your tongue, chest aching with shame as they poured forth, "thank you, Artiya"

Your fellow watcher's gaze remained unmoved as they marched you through gilded halls, unperturbed by the silent bustle of others. You didn't expect forgiveness readily offered, but the deadly silence was disheartening to say the least. After being away, the heavy note of styrax that clung to the air felt invasive in much the same way their eyes did when fixed upon you.

"Dozens of seasons have passed since your last appearance. Four souls were without guidance for far too long," crystalline needles pierced through your skin with every word, "were it up to me, you wouldn't have been allowed back."

There was nothing to say in rebuttal, knowing full well that abandoning your duty to observe, for you refused to recognize it as wallowing in anxious obsession, had no excuse. But wasn't it ridiculous that something preached as the pinnacle of protection would be so fragile? If a sentimental mistake could shatter the carefully spun fates, wasn't that all the more proof that the system itself was flawed? A sharp snap of metal against the marbled path scattered those blasphemous thoughts as though nothing more than dust.

Artiya gave a sharp nod, having come to a halt where the path widened into the grand platform where only She waited. So there would be no prying eyes this time at least.

Bathed in the pale light from the forever grieving moon, She would have appeared frozen were it not for the slight upward twitch of Her lips. With all the dignity of a wounded sparrow, you approached Her perch, lowering your head in submission and acceptance should She descend upon you.

"Dearest child, an explanation?"

She needn't utter more, the words having already begun to whittle down any ambition of masking your shortcomings. Having jeopardized a soul, and by extension the balance you'd sworn to retain, even if by mistake, was unforgiveable. It was with tar coating your throat, surely a reflection of your soul, that the words forced their way out.

"I was… Preoccupied," you swallowed as best you could, feeling deception rot your tongue and slur your words, "I only acted in accordance with my oath, I swear it…"

You had to wonder, how much had She already known? How much of the path had been preordained by the very figure now looking down upon you with the eyes of a scolding parent. Briefly, you questioned if Zandik had found himself under such a watchful gaze as well, pursuing what he thought correct while knowing disappointment, at best, was inevitable.

The brief glimmer in Her eyes betrayed that your waver hadn't gone unnoticed, and a hint of dread dispersed the musings as She spoke, "You know this is not enough," and you did, just as her next words were no surprise either, not that it lessened the sting, "your kin grow agitated and I am not immune to their persuasion."

She owed you nothing, and you should give Her everything in turn for being granted life. It was a truth carved into your bones, spun into your destiny - most likely it was the very foundation upon which you existed - and so the thought of failure drove itself between your shoulders and twisted. You had no right to blame a mortal soul for kindling warmth in your chest, not when sympathy was the fuel your own hands had brought in abundance.

"In a-" no, not a lapse of judgement, was it? "A mishap occurred, and I felt compelled to observe until I was certain nothing disastrous would come of it."

Yes. That was it. You did not take life but rekindled it, and the quick solution to the issue had been more than you could bear. Not if something was damaging them every time.

"'A mishap'. Had it not been prudent to request aid and inform me?"

Or had your faith already dimmed too much. The way Her fingers intertwined said it all. The sharp raise of Her brow as well.

You hesitated for a moment, praying it hadn't seeped into your voice, "I didn't deem it necessary to disturb you, Blessed Mother. Forgive me, I misjudged how long I would need-"

"Tell me then, did you give it an end?"

A coy smile played upon Her lips, utterly unfamiliar and vile, eyes further sharpened by the darkness that crept along the corners where the moon was unable to reach. It was gone as fast as it had appeared.

Fearing the sound of the admission, you shook your head, not expecting the single command She uttered.

"Then it appears your vigil has yet to come to an end. Leave no open endings."

There was no trace of appreciation for the way air warped and warmed around your body as you descended, everything muted by the questions that still sat unspoken on your lips. How much transpired behind those molten pools of gold? Every rustle of the breeze as you made for the dunes below whispered that She knew.

'Leave no open endings'

The words nestled under your sternum, sending out little shoots of something that left you breathless and with shaking hands, feeling the urge to lock your fingers around cool metal. You had Her blessing to interfere. No loose endings. No memories. A new beginning was something you were well versed in offering. Even if this felt wrong, Her judgement had to be correct.

Liloupar's embrace was the last place he could recall sleeping peacefully. Dreams had begun to invade his mind over the years as the emancipated populace cried out for aid, the weight of watching as his father refused them any more than the water flowing through their shining city. They had received the freedom they so desired, all been granted the right to chase their own destinies.

Upon reaching adulthood, it wasn't so much the exile that buried itself under his skin, no that had been clear for years from his father's mutterings about fate, but rather how his mother had emerged screaming and fighting with the guards holding her back, 'not another, I can't lose another' her endless cries shaking loose pebbles from the surrounding walls.

Five days had passed in the company of his own thoughts and the scorching sun. His brass mask lay discarded, cooling under the shade of a lonesome palm as he dipped his aching feet into the water. While there were many settlements, the need to put distance between himself and whatever would play out tugged at his limbs.

There was the desire to know, of course, what secrets had been guarded from even him. How did a man once praised for heroic deeds become so entangled in prophesies and speculations that he would throw out his own kin for nothing but a hunch?

'Zandik' had grown certain it had a connection to the vague memories that haunted him. There were mentions of communications between his grandfather and Amon, the possibility for divine wisdom to have passed into the hands of mortals remained present.

Water splashed against his skin, soothing the welts that had formed in places the scorching mask had touched. He had rations for a couple of days after the last trade, enough that he hopefully would not need to put the damnable thing back on before he had healed.

Shifting sand caught his attention, surroundings momentarily a blur as his head turned in alarm, fingers already reaching for the curved sword that would realistically be less than helpful in his hands should a real battle ensue. He held up his free hand to shield from the sun, squinting as they came more properly into view, what fool would be wandering about during noon?

A feathered cloak draped over the stranger's shoulders, an odd choice really. The plumage was too muted to have been plucked from the vultures he knew. Their attire looked entirely foreign yet well kept enough that it seemed unlikely they had been wandering for long. Sword raised in a tentative warning, he saw as their empty hands raised in a placating gesture. His movements faltered for a moment as confusion spread; they weren't carrying any satchels?

"Stay back," he hated how every syllable felt littered with sand, coarse and intrusive in his lungs.

It was a pleasant surprise when they obliged, "I carry no ill intentions, I merely wish to rest for a moment in the shade."

Their voice jolted him, the softness stealing the air from his lungs and sending him stumbling back into the water, only barely catching himself before any truly undignified display could ensue. If the voice was familiar, her eyes were hauntingly so, glittering with pieces the sky coaxed away and set into the sockets. If he looked close enough, would he recognize any of the patterns?

He hadn't even noticed the splash of his weapon slipping into the water, completely forgotten in the face of an uneasy tranquility surrounding the stranger.

No words left his lips, mind racing to figure out why there was such a painful nagging at the back of his skull as he sat back down in the shade, eyes tracking her unnaturally fluid movements with a vacant expression. Nothing moved like that in uneven terrain, not vipers nor scorpions, and certainly not any of the people he had seen.

There was no question in his mind, the certainty in his gut too intense to ignore lest he wanted to regret it forever, the subject would have to be approached, it was only a matter of method. It frustrated him to no end that he knew exactly how it would feel to lay his head in her lap. How it was to awaken to an unchanging sky encircled by lush canopies, soft grass underneath his palms despite never having seen such a paradise realized. Her fingers brushing through his hair and cradling his head close.

Only once the sun had moved several degrees towards the horizon did he breach the tentative peace, "Unusual to travel without supplies," he could only hope the suspicion was concealed enough to not be offensive.

The scorching heat of the sun was nothing compared to the weight of her gaze, in an instant searing through skin and bone to leave him uncomfortably bare.

"I merely carry what I need," a small smile tugged at her lips as they shaped those oddly soothing melodies.

That wasn't useful at all. A slight huff left him before an idea began to circulate; Liloupar always had an empty plate, the stranger could be one of the jinni sent to keep watch over him. How precious. With newfound confidence, he returned her stare with what he hoped to be equal intensity, the urge to laugh making itself known in a flutter upon seeing the way her shoulders rose with tension. This was a path worth pursuing. If she was a jinn, it made sense why there was a familiar feeling blossoming in his chest.

"And you simply don't need food and water?"

A disbelieving scoff left his lips when she gestured towards the clear pool of water in front of them, absolutely ridiculous. His eyes drifted over her form once more, brows furrowing again at the distinct lack of wear. There were no settlements near that she could have just set out from, that was why he'd initially picked this place for rest. More questions pooled in his mouth, frustration building when no reasonable answer presented itself.

"I am not opposed to answering, provided you ask the right questions at the appropriate time," her fond tone had his mind reeling, attempting to pin the source yet gaining nothing but a headache, "I promised to tell you everything in due time."

"You make lofty claims, I'll give you that much." he couldn't keep the sneer out, frustrated with the constant evasion, "do elaborate on the specifics of this promise as I have no recollection of seeing you before."

The faint shimmer outlining her body when he squinted was surely a trick of the light, or perhaps fatigue had finally caught up? Having been confined to luxury for two decades was hardly cause for complaint, but it did leave him uncomfortably vulnerable. Perhaps that had been his father's ploy from the beginning.

"That's not entirely true, is it Zandik? What was it they called you now?"

His twitching hand and sharp inhale betrayed him, heart pounding in his ears as everything froze. There was nothing but the echo filling the air with the same fervor as panic spread from his chest, head shaking vigorously from side to side. No one had known, had they? He'd always kept it to himself, the mere thought of speaking the word causing a disproportionate unease. One he'd chosen to heed anyway. Even her voice did little to clear the tempest now enveloping him.

"I made a mistake, and I do not wish for you to suffer for it."

There was a profound sorrow clinging to the words as she rose, illuminated by the sun she cast a shadow towards him, eyes glowing even as her face was in shadow. It set him off, hands digging into the sand as he thrashed to get up, get away, run, crawl, anything to get away.

#dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #dottore x fem reader #il dottore x fem reader #genshin impact x reader #il dottore x you #dottore x you #x fem reader #genshin impact x fem reader #il dottore #zandik #crow with a pen #I hate this so yeah literally yeeting it into the void because I will finish what I've started #wishing for a hot angel lady to take me to the afterlife rn

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bloomii · 1 year

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cream cry

#3dart #blender3d #mixed media #blender art #oblivion flora #reverie of core

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pearlprincess02 · 2 months

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LENGTH: 37 HR 52 MIN. songs below ↓

sagittarius rising / 1st house:

capricorn mars in 1st house

"green light" - lorde / "bury a friend" - billie eilish / "video games" - lana del rey / "habits (stay high)" - tove lo / "demons" - imagine dragons / "do i wanna know?" - arctic monkeys / "primadonna" - marina / "team" - lorde / "graveyard" - halsey / "somebody else" - the 1975 / "stressed out" - twenty one pilots / "the less i know the better" - tame impala / "gasoline" - halsey / "doin' time" - lana del rey / "viva la vida" - coldplay / "sweater weather" - the neighbourhood / "shake it out" - florence + the machine / "harmony hall" - vampire weekend / "pumped up kicks" - foster the people / "joy" - bastille /

capricorn chiron in 1st house

"young and beautiful" - lana del rey / "flaws" - bastille / "dirty paws" - of monsters and men / "human" - the killers / "liability" - lorde / "recover" - chvrches / "afraid" - the neighbourhood / "everything i wanted" - billie eilish / "eventually" - tame impala / "miracle" - chvrches / "born to die" - lana del rey / "this life" - vampire weekend / "fix you" - coldplay / "to be human" - marina / "idontwannabeyouanymore" - billie eilish / "writer in the dark" - lorde / "colors" - halsey / "movement" - hozier / "glad he's gone" - tove lo / "sit next to me" - foster the people /

sagittarius rising / 1st house

"the sound" - the 1975 / "on top of the world" - imagine dragons / "new americana" - halsey / "exile" - taylor swift (feat. bon iver) / "bad guy" - billie eilish / "you're somebody else" - flora cash / "adventure of a lifetime" - coldplay / "heather" - conan gray / "love me" - the 1975 / "cardigan" - taylor swift / "ocean eyes" - billie eilish / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "good grief" - bastille / "leave a trace" - chvrches / "summertime sadness" - lana del rey / "take me to church" - hozier / "maniac" - conan gray / "if you're gonna lie" - fletcher / "ship to wreck" - florence + the machine / "mount everest" - labrinth /

aquarius 2nd house:

pisces uranus in 2nd house

"kids" - mgmt / "ho hey" - the lumineers / "midnight city" - m83 / "1901" - birdy / "take a walk" - passion pit / "electricity" - silk city, dua lipa / "digital love" - daft punk / "electric feel" - mgmt / "lisztomania" - phoenix / "tongue tied" - grouplove / "somebody that i used to know" - gotye (feat. kimbra) / "cherry" - lana del rey / "counting stars" - onerepublic / "1901" - phoenix / "i wanna get better" - bleachers / "love me again" - john newman / "dancing on my own" - robyn / "rather be" - clean bandit (feat. jess glynne) / "we found love" - rihanna (feat. calvin harris) / "can't feel my face" - the weeknd /

aquarius neptune in 2nd house

"wish i knew you" - the revivalists / "young folks" - peter bjorn and john / "saturn" - sleeping at last / "such great heights" - the postal service / "islands" - the xx / "wide eyes" - local natives / "rebellion (lies)" - arcade fire / "silent treatment" - the joy formidable / "heartbeats" - the knife / "disparate youth" - santigold / "time to pretend" - mgmt / "elephant gun" - beirut / "dreaming" - smallpools / "all my friends" - lcd soundsystem / "shelter song" - temples / "sleepyhead" - passion pit / "oblivion" - grimes / "wetsuit" - the vaccines / "take me out" - franz ferdinand / "don't save me" - haim /

aquarius 2nd house

"knife under my pillow" - maggie lindemann / "idfc" - blackbear / "play date" - melanie martinez / "queen of broken hearts" - blackbear / "if we have each other" - alec benjamin / "josslyn" - olivia o'brien / "pretty girl" - maggie lindemann / "i miss you, i'm sorry" - gracie abrams / "dollhouse" - melanie martinez / "must have been the wind" - alec benjamin / "friends go" - maggie lindemann / "hot girl bummer" - blackbear / "cake" - melanie martinez / "let's fall in love for the night" - finneas / "no love" - olivia o'brien / "oh my god" - alec benjamin / "dog days are over" - florence + the machine / "me & ur ghost" - blackbear / "water fountain" - alec benjamin / "just a boy" - olivia o'brien /

pisces 3rd house:

pisces venus in 3rd house

"ribs" - lorde / "in the aeroplane over the sea" - neutral milk hotel / "everywhere" - fleetwood mac / "toothpaste kisses" - the maccabees / "into my arms" - nick cave & the bad seeds / "budapest" - george ezra / "chasing cars" - snow patrol / "kiss me" - sixpence none the richer / "breathe" - télépopmusik / "unintended" - muse / "cosmic love" - florence + the machine / "atlas hands" - benjamin francis leftwich / "fade into you" - mazzy star / "first day of my life" - bright eyes / "dead sea" - the lumineers / "wicked game" - chris isaak / "lover, you should've come over" - jeff buckley / "skinny love" - bon iver / "hurt somebody" - noah kahan, julia michaels / "swim good" - frank ocean /

pisces 3rd house

"cherry wine" - hozier / "mykonos" - fleet foxes / "northern wind" - city and colour / "beneath your beautiful" - labrinth (feat. emeli sandé) / "let me down slowly" - alec benjamin / "dreams" - fleetwood mac / "how to disappear completely" - radiohead / "holocene" - bon iver / "when the party's over" - billie eilish / "marjorie" - taylor swift / "to build a home" - the cinematic orchestra / "where is my mind?" - pixies / "if u love me" - nessa barrett / "sleeping lessons" - the shins / "holding on" - disclosure (feat. gregory porter) / "breathe me" - sia / "all the stars" - kendrick lamar, sza / "lose yourself to dance" - daft punk (feat. pharrell williams) / "africa" - toto / "take on me" - a-ha /

aries 4th house:

aries sun in 4th house

"naive" - the kooks / "you only live once" - the strokes / "she's so high" - tal bachman / "my number" - foals / "what you know" - two door cinema club / "shut up and dance" - walk the moon / "animal" - neon trees / "float on" - modest mouse / "riptide" - vance joy / "mr. brightside" - the killers / "feel It still" - portugal. the man / "don't stop me now" - queen / "ready to start" - arcade fire / "the middle" - jimmy eat world / "pompeii" - bastille / "youngblood" - 5 seconds of summer / "castle on the hill" - ed sheeran / "somebody told me" - the killers / "born this way" - lady gaga / "centuries" - fall out boy /

taurus mercury in 4th house

"yellow" - coldplay / "say something" - a great big world, christina aguilera / "stubborn love" - the lumineers / "landslide" - fleetwood mac / "retrograde" - james blake / "someone like you" - adele / "all i want" - kodaline / "latch" - disclosure (feat. sam smith) / "re: stacks" - bon iver / "latchkey kids" - silversun pickups / "big jet plane" - angus & julia stone / "lost on you" - lp / "wild horses" - the rolling stones / "linger" - the cranberries / "river" - leon bridges / "stolen dance" - milky chance / "stay with me" - sam smith / "lost cause" - beck / "the scientist" - coldplay / "i won't give up" - jason mraz /

taurus lilith in 4th house

"reptilia" - the strokes / "animal" - miike snow / "stylo" - gorillaz (feat. mos def & bobby womack) / "shut up and let me go" - the ting tings / "hunger strike" - temple of the dog / "creep" - radiohead / "cough syrup" - young the giant / "bulls on parade" - rage against the machine / "fader" - the temper trap / "song 2" - blur / "uprising" - muse / "r u mine?" - arctic monkeys / "ways to go" - grouplove / "gold lion" - yeah yeah yeahs / "seven nation army" - the white stripes / "it's time" - imagine dragons / "no one knows" - queens of the stone age / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "fell in love with a girl" - the white stripes / "tyrants" - catfish and the bottlemen /

aries 4th house

"believer" - imagine dragons / "the one " - fletcher / "checkmate" - conan gray / "all for us" - labrinth (feat. zendaya) / "stupid" - tate mcrae / "nightmare" - halsey / "blank space" - taylor swift / "pain" - nessa barrett / "forever" - fletcher / "electric blue" - arcade fire / "mind is a prison" - alec benjamin / "the archer" - taylor swift / "experiment on me" - halsey / "blue jeans" - lana del rey / "titanium" - david guetta (feat. sia) / "happier" - marshmello (feat. bastille) / "the man" - taylor swift / "good life" - onerepublic / "i bet my life" - imagine dragons / "rolling in the deep" - adele /

taurus 5th house:

taurus north node in 5th house

"tighten up" - the black keys / "tongue" - r.e.m. / "lost in my mind" - the head and the heart / "goodbye yellow brick road" - elton john / "something good can work" - two door cinema club / "lover" - taylor swift / "forever" - labrinth / "finally // beautiful stranger" - halsey / "wish you were sober" - conan gray / "love it if we made it" - the 1975 / "cornelia street" - taylor swift / "youth" - daughter / "uptown girl" - billy joel / "this is what you came for" - calvin harris (feat. rihanna) / "don't start now" - dua lipa / "daylight" - taylor swift / "happy" - pharrell williams / "i gotta feeling" - the black eyed peas / "treasure" - bruno mars / "shake it off" - taylor swift /

gemini part of fortune in 5th house

"style" - taylor swift / "still don't know my name" - labrinth / "dancing with myself" - billy idol / "boom clap" - charli xcx / "a-punk" - vampire weekend / "ain't it fun" - paramore / "me!" - taylor swift (feat. brendon urie) / "high hopes" - panic! at the disco / "unbelievers" - vampire weekend / "tennis court" - lorde / "reflections" - misterwives / "still into you" - paramore / "blinding lights" - the weeknd / "out of my league" - fitz and the tantrums / "i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)" - whitney houston / "helena beat" - foster the people / "good as hell" - lizzo / "rollercoaster"- bleacher / "victorious" - panic! at the disco / "it's not living (if it's not with you)" - the 1975 /

taurus 5th house

"cruel summer" - taylor swift / "love song" - lana del rey / "taro" - alt-j / "i don't want your money" - ed sheeran & h.e.r. / "sugar" - maroon 5 / "uptown funk" - mark ronson (feat. bruno mars) / "wildest dreams" - taylor swift / "golden hour" - kacey musgraves / "isn't she lovely" - stevie wonder / "thinking out loud" - ed sheeran / "cake by the ocean" - dnce / "all of me" - john legend / "don't know why"- norah jones / "september" - earth, wind & fire / "teenage dream" - katy perry / "this will be (an everlasting love)" - natalie cole / "if i ain't got you" - alicia keys / "i'm yours" - jason mraz / "just the way you are" - bruno mars / "put your records on"- corinne bailey rae /

gemini 6th house:

"fluorescent adolescent" - arctic monkeys / "backseat freestyle" - kendrick lamar / "feel good inc." - gorillaz / "the edge of glory" - lady gaga / "good 4 u" - olivia rodrigo / "cool kids" - echosmith / "skin" - sabrina carpenter / "mine" - taylor swift / "back to you" - selena gomez / "the wire" - haim / "issues" - julia michaels / "death bed (coffee for your head)" - powfu (feat. beabadoobee) / "leave before you love me" - marshmello, jonas brothers / "drivers license" - olivia rodrigo / "youth" - troye sivan / "dance yrself clean" - lcd soundsystem / "cut to the feeling"- carly rae jepsen / "houdini" - foster the people / "just dance"- lady gaga / "how to be a heartbreaker" - marina and the diamonds /

gemini 7th house:

gemini saturn in 7th house

"maps" - maroon 5 / "hurt" - johnny cash / "the night we met" - lord huron / "the chain" - fleetwood mac / "gravity" - sara bareilles / "stay" - rihanna (feat. mikky ekko) / "nothing compares 2 u" - sinead o'connor / "maps" - yeah yeah yeahs / "mad world" - gary jules / "hallelujah" - jeff buckley / "holocene" - bon iver / "all too well (10 minute version)" - taylor swift / "say you won't let go" - james arthur / "chandelier" - sia / "a thousand years" - christina perri / "gravity" - john mayer / "bad at love" - halsey / "earned it" - the weeknd / "when i was your man" - bruno mars / "let it go" - james bay /

gemini 7th house

"one kiss" - calvin harris & dua lipa / "northern downpour" - panic! at the disco / "two weeks" - grizzly bear / "into you" - ariana grande / "shape of you" - ed sheeran / "bubblegum bitch" - marina / "hello"- adele / "i'm not the only one" - sam smith / "stitches"- shawn mendes / "mirrors" - justin timberlake / "ordinary people"- john legend / "something just like this"- the chainsmokers (feat. coldplay) / "we don't talk anymore" - charlie puth (feat. selena gomez) / "new rules" - dua lipa / "slow dancing in a burning room" - john mayer / "love song" - sara bareilles / "jar of hearts" - christina perri / "she will be loved" - maroon 5 / "can't stop the feeling!"- justin timberlake / "physical" - dua lipa /

leo 8th house:

leo jupiter in 8th house

"high enough to carry you over" - chvrches / "my silver lining" - first aid kit / "i bet you look good on the dancefloor" - arctic monkeys / "royals" - lorde / "human" - rag'n'bone man / "gooey" - glass animals / "radioactive" - imagine dragons / "heathens" - twenty one pilots / "dark necessities" - red hot chili peppers / "glory and gore" - lorde / "sex on fire" - kings of leon / "shake me down" - cage the elephant / "electric love" - borns / "breezeblocks" - alt-j / "bohemian rhapsody" - queen / "reflektor" - arcade fire / "formation" - beyoncé / "starboy" - the weeknd / "dna." - kendrick lamar / "skyfall" - adele /

leo vertex in 8th house

"livin' on a prayer" - bon jovi / "oblivion" - bastille / "runaway" - aurora / "little lion man" - mumford & sons / "where the streets have no name" - U2 / "heroes" - david bowie / "halo" - beyoncé / "i will always love you" - whitney houston / "stairway to heaven" - led zeppelin / "born to run" - bruce springsteen / "dream on"- aerosmith / "fighter" - christina aguilera / "gimme shelter" - the rolling stones / "we are the champions" - queen / "purple rain" - prince / "rocket man" - elton john / "knights of cydonia" - muse / "go your own way" - fleetwood mac / "like a prayer" - madonna / "thriller" - michael jackson /

leo 8th house

"express yourself" - madonna / "superstition" - stevie wonder / "i'm still standing" - elton john / "let's go crazy" - prince / "billie jean" - michael jackson / "you give love a bad name" - bon jovi / "run the world (girls)" - beyoncé / "bad romance"- lady gaga / "roar"- katy perry / "life on mars?"- david bowie / "gorilla" - bruno mars / "beautiful day" - U2 / "thinkin bout you" - frank ocean / "yellow flicker beat" - lorde / "talking body" - tove lo / "partition" - beyoncé / "love on the brain" - rihanna / "magic" - coldplay / "animals" - maroon 5 / "god is a woman" - ariana grande /

virgo 9th house:

"oxford comma" - vampire weekend / "all we ever knew" - the head and the heart / "hunger" - florence + the machine / "high and dry" - radiohead / "lost in the light" - bahamas / "the suburbs" - arcade fire / "come away with me" - norah jones / "helplessness blues" - fleet foxes / "i will wait" - mumford & sons / "no such thing" - john mayer / "home" - phillip phillips / "better together"- jack johnson / "paradise"- coldplay / "hey, soul sister" - train / "rivers and roads" - the head and the heart / "three little birds" - bob marley & the wailers / "brave" - sara bareilles / "bubbly" - colbie caillat / "begin again" - taylor swift / "waiting on the world to change" - john mayer /

libra 10th house:

scorpio moon in 10th house

"gun" - chvrches / "my body" - young the giant / "some nights" - fun. / "deadcrush" - alt-j / "the weekend" - sza / "swimming pools (drank)" - kendrick lamar / "glory box" - portishead / "him & i" - g-eazy & halsey / "waiting game" - banks / "hurt" - nine inch nails / "what kind of man" - florence + the machine / "elastic heart" - sia / "ride" - lana del rey / "drowning"- banks / "the hills"- the weeknd / "cellophane" - fka twigs / "all mine" - portishead / "national anthem" - lana del rey / "haunted" - beyoncé / "diamonds" - rihanna /

libra 10th house

"watermelon sugar" - harry styles / "love on top" - beyoncé / "roads" - portishead / "love story" - taylor swift / "thank u, next" - ariana grande / "thunder" - imagine dragons / "clocks" - coldplay / "too good at goodbyes"- sam smith /"locked out of heaven" - bruno mars / "irreplaceable" - beyoncé / "set fire to the rain" - adele / "sign of the times" - harry styles / "dangerous woman" - ariana grande / "alive"- sia / "paparazzi" - lady gaga / "delilah"- florence + the machine / "without me" - halsey / "empire state of mind (part II) broken down"- alicia keys / "kill em with kindness" - selena gomez / "sorry not sorry" - demi lovato /

scorpio 11th house:

"bad blood" - taylor swift (feat. kendrick lamar) / "closer" - the chainsmokers (feat. halsey) / "dark paradise" - lana del rey / "live in the moment" - portugal. the man / "gemini feed" - banks / "505" - arctic monkeys / "ride"- twenty one pilots / "misery business" - paramore / "7 rings" - ariana grande / "firework" - katy perry / "you should see me in a crown" - billie eilish / "often"- the weeknd / "hands to myself" - selena gomez / "redbone" - childish gambino / "humble." - kendrick lamar / "don't let me down" - the chainsmokers (feat. daya) / "22"- taylor swift / "party in the u.s.a." - miley cyrus / "we are young" - fun. (feat. janelle monáe) / "count on me" - bruno mars /

sagittarius 12th house:

sagittarius pluto in 12th house

"no one's gonna love you" - band of horses / "sleep forever" - portugal. the man / "obstacles" - syd matters / "bloodstream" - stateless / "take care" - beach house / "oceans" - seafret / "the funeral" - band of horses / "pink + white" - frank ocean / "comfortably numb" - pink floyd / "white winter hymnal" - fleet foxes / "space song" - beach house / "limit to your love" - james blake / "open" - rhye / "two weeks"- fka twigs / "gold" - chet faker / "jóga"- björk / "myth" - beach house / "everything in its right place"- radiohead / "hoppípolla" - sigur rós / "mystery of love" - sufjan stevens /

sagittarius 12th house

"a dustland fairytale" - the killers / "visions of gideon" - sufjan stevens / "cannons" - youth lagoon / "bloodbuzz ohio" - the national / "kettering" - the antlers / "buzzcut season" - lorde / "song for zula" - phosphorescent / "flightless bird, american mouth" - iron & wine / "secrets" - the weeknd / "sæglópur" - sigur rós / "obsessions" - marina / "feels like we only go backwards" - tame impala / "intro"- the xx / "all i need" - radiohead / "i need my girl" - the national / "the wilhelm scream" - james blake / "new slang" - the shins / "wicked games" - the weeknd / "under the pressure" - the war on drugs / "feel it all around" - washed out /

(anon ask)

@pearlprincess02

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