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bad-bitch-beauchamp · 4 years

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Songs About Me: Chapter Four

How Claire found herself inside Jamie's bookshop, and what happens when Jamie finally gets inside to watch her perform.

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The Alleys of Beacon Hill, Boston; Early October, Mid-Morning.

Following a very intense conversation with Joe and Geillis in which Claire repeatedly tried to express that there was absolutely nothing going on with that guy from the night before, peppered with lines like, “Oh bullshit, Claire! Jamie couldn’t take his eyes off ye!” from Geillis and “Seriously. It was disgusting. And romantic. Something’s there!” from Joe, Claire eventually succeeded in getting them to let the topic lie… for now.

Outside in the daylight, Claire felt refreshed. She would find a place to sit and write, and decompress. Strolling down her tree-lined street, breathing in and out slowly, she savored the way autumn here made her feel. The brick townhomes was trimmed in white with shiny red and black doors, covered in wild ivy and window boxes with trailing flowers. Mums in classic pots lined the front porches, and stone walls raised courtyards and gardens above the worn-brick sidewalks. Tall trees, oak and maple and elm, towered as tall as the buildings and brought a soft green and yellow glow to everything below their canopies. Everything felt old, here. There was a history, here. Under normal circumstances, Claire could’ve never dreamed of living here in Beacon Hill, but because of Lamb’s will, his love, his generosity, she was now able to call her favorite place, home. She was a woman who placed very little weight on material goods, but if the townhouse and her greenhouse were the only things she claimed, she would die happy. Boston was the first place that Claire felt she could create her own history. She wandered through the winding alleys of Beacon Hill, admiring how green changes to gold on every leaf and living surface. She stopped at the coffee house that knew her name, left with an earl grey latte a few minutes later, and was back outside at a wrought-iron table and chair on the sidewalk, her black leather notebook and cheap pen drawn from her purse. She admired this little courtyard, tucked just off an alley. Across the close was her favorite bookstore. She often wished to had more time to visit the physical shop, but with running a business of her own, she didn’t have as much time to peruse all the fellow small businesses around her. When she moved to Boston in 2015, she stopped in the little bookshop, and left with nearly more books than she could carry. The man behind the desk told her she could place orders online as well if that would be easier for her, smirking as the top book of the stack Claire was balancing slid off the top. The bookshop took residence in a historic three-story brick building, with the shop taking up the bottom two floors. An open staircase in the middle of the shop gave way to an open loft filled with shelves and leather chairs. The downstairs was completely open, making it easy to work your way around the shop in a u-shape. For any other type of store, it might seem like a bit much. For the bookshop, however, it was the perfect mix of historical and charming and quaint and magnificent and absolutely beautiful. It had been awhile since she had been able to physically make it in the store, and she missed it and it’s comfortable grandeur greatly.

Today was different though, as Claire had given herself the day off while Geillis worked, and she would spend it adding new books to her collection. She savored the last time of her latte and stood when she glimpsed a man inside the shop putting up a poster in the window.

Local Musician Wanted. Claire approached the sign after the man finished taping it to the window. In smaller letters, it read: Come share your talent, play for the community, and grab a good book when you’re done. Call or inquire within.

She had promised herself to have more fun, and karaoke had turned out to be a blast in the years she and her friends had been going. Music and gardening are what made her feel alive, made her heart bloom… Why not give this a chance when she wasn’t working? Claire’s heart rate sped up and she started to sweat when she thought of going inside and introducing herself as a musician. Deciding she’d call and arrange a time to come in with her keyboard, she started to turn away. The morning sunlight caught the lettering on the window, glittering just at the edge of her vision. She’d never paid much attention to the store’s exterior before -- or really even the name, since she’d long been calling it just “the bookshop” for years now -- but today, the gold paint drew her attention. Fraser Literature. Her breath hitched, her pulse raced, her head lightened. She couldn’t look away from the sparkling name on the glass. It couldn’t be… could it? Her pulse raced, her head felt light, the brick and cobblestone around her began to swirl.

With one shaky step and an attempt at a steadying breath, she pulled open the heavy wooden door.

Fraser’s Literature, Beacon Hill, Boston. Mid-Afternoon.

Jamie stepped through the doorway and tried not to jostle the small crowd that had assembled at the front of the shop. He just wanted to glimpse her, convince himself that she was real, that this, was real. That she was here in his shop, playing her music, just for him. He slowly, carefully, made his way to back of the crowd and found a small bit of standing room directly in her line of vision. She’d play a song with no lyrics, only instrumental melodies followed by quiet chords braided with thoughtful verse and chorus. The sunlight was streaming in the shop’s window now, lighting the crown of her head with rivers of auburn and gold. God, she’s ethereal. After each song, the small crowd would quietly clap and she would politely nod, cheeks turning rosey with shyness when her eyes fell back to the keys -- like she hadn’t even noticed they’d been there. She’d occasionally look up and look around the crowd, but only for a moment. Come on, lass. Look up. Find me. See me. As if she heard his plea, she held a long chord with both hands on the keys and looked up, straight into his eyes. Jamie gulped. She was singing, in French. She was singing, to him. He hadn’t expected it to work, the calling for her. He didn’t expect to be shocked into stillness by the whisky of her eyes and the dark shimmering curls around her head. He didn’t expect to feel this way after one night with a lass he barely knew… But here he was, enthralled by her. A gentle hand cupped his shoulder then and he jumped.

“Ye look completely enamored for a man who just met the lass a single night ago. Like a lovesick puppy,” said Rupert. Claire had gone back to her songs, but both men continued to watch her.

Angus had joined them now. “Ye never want to seem too eager tae please a woman, ye ken? It gives them too much power.”

Jamie watched as Claire finished another piece. He had to physically keep his feet rooted in place when she glanced his way, quirked a corner of her mouth up in a smile, and quickly looked down, tugging her cardigan tighter around her chest to hide the pink bloom erupting there and moving up her neck. “Aye, I’m completely under her power,” he smiled softly at her, “and happy tae be there.”

For the rest of the afternoon, Jamie tried to work, he really did. He refused to work in his office, since it was the furthest place from the front windows, and the furthest place from Claire. He went around with a polishing rag, trying to be inconspicuous with his meanderings until Rupert whispered, “I can practically see ma reflection in that shelf. Maybe move yerself along?” He tried to water the plants, only to remember he’d already done that when the pots started to overflow. He would run his hands through his hair just for something to occupy his time. Eventually, Angus suggested he bide his time making sure the rare and first-edition copies that sat on the highest shelves were dust-free.

“Aye, that’s a good idea! I’ll just be up on the ladder then if ye need me.” Angus laughed and shook his head as Jamie ascended the first rung. “Come get me, will ye,” Angus turned to look at him with a smirk and raised brow, “if she… uh, if anything happens.”

“Yeah yeah, get tae work. I doubt she’ll be leaving without saying hello if her looks meant anything at all -- and they definitely did.”

Jamie placed the last book at the end of the row back into its place and started his way back down the ladder to slide it to the next tall shelf when electricity pulsed up his calf. He lost his footing and came to a crashing halt on his back on the floor.

“Fuck fuck fuck… Fuck! are you okay? I shouldn’t’ve spooked you!” He tried to shift himself up, but couldn’t. “Don’t try to move; here, I’ll try to keep you still. Is your head okay?” It took Jamie a moment to get his bearings. His head smacked the hardwood floor when he landed, and his wrist tried to take the fall. Neither of those things were of much concern to him now though, since Claire was kneeling over him. Not just kneeling over him, he noticed. She was on top of him, a knee on either side of his torso. His brain was short-circuiting. She was in light-wash high-waist skinny jeans, a goldenrod cardigan, and a white tank top and she was on top of him . He couldn’t stop tracing her with his eyes. “Jamie?? I’m going to need you to respond or I’ll have to call the squad. Can you hear me? Can you say something, please? What hurts??” Dear God in heaven, nothing hurts. Nothing a damn thing. Her face came closer to his and he noticed the way her curls fell forward, how the sun was still lighting her from behind, how she was absolutely incredible. He blinked. Her brows knitted and her hands came to his face. Her touch revived him and he remembered how to speak.

“Claire,” he watched her, reverently. She smiled as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“Oh, thank god. You scared the shit out of me with that little stunt, you know,” she said as she began touching near and watching his eyes. Touch me again, never stop, he thought to himself. “How do you feel? Any ringing in the ears, nausea, blurry vision, dizziness, light sensitivity? Wait, you’re not bleeding, are you?”

Jamie smirked. “Actually, there’s some pressure on my abdominal region.”

“Your stomach? I don’t understand how that could have…” She blushed when she realized she was still straddling him, right on the storeroom floor. “You mean me.” She climbed off of him as quickly as she could manage and turned a shade of red Jamie hadn’t known was possible. “I am SO sorry about that, I didn’t know if you’d be injured and you wouldn’t stay still so I--”

“It’s quite alright, lass. Thank ye for looking after me. Truly.” His hand came out to hold hers. His thumb brushed her knuckles.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Honestly? I feel terrible.”

“I’m jes’ fine, Sassenach.” He made to stand up then, using his arm to prop himself when he stood. He came crashing back down with a grunt.

“It sure wouldn’t seem like you’re “jes’ fine”,” she replied in her best mocking tone. He smiled, sheepishly. “Is there somewhere we can go where I can have a better look at it?”

“Does up in the loft work for ye? It’s usually quieter, and better light than in the office.”

“Sounds perfect.” She extended a hand to him. “On your feet, soldier.” He looked at her then. How could one woman go from tugging on his heartstrings with soft melodies and French words to making him fall for her with demanding medical questions and authoritative requests. He watched her outstretched hand, her long fingers, her gentle bones. He watched her eyes, watch him. He grasped her hand, and she led up him up the stairs to the loft. She led him. In his shop. Seeing her lead him, he decided he’d let her lead up anywhere for the rest of his days.

She motioned for him to sit in a velvet wingback chair and took his wrist in her hands. He tried to breathe normally as her fingers probed the dips in his palm and traced down the veins in his forearm. Surely, she would feel his pulse. Surely, she would know she was the one that made it race. In the distance, Jamie heard her ask him some questions about pain and discomfort, and he’d nod or not depending on his response. He couldn’t form words. He was still in disbelief she was even there, in front of him, kneeling at his side.

Claire sat back on her heels. “Will you tell me if it starts to hurt? You could have a sprain, you know. That was a pretty nasty fall.”

His mind was working overtime but he finally found words to use. “If ye didna find anything wrong, I’m sure I’m jes’ fine.” He dipped his head to meet her eyes. “Yer a verra competent doctor, Claire.” He grinned. A tear fell from Claire’s face. “Och lass, what is it? Did I do something wrong?” She sniffed. She wouldn’t look at him. “Please, Claire. Please talk to me.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not a doctor, is all.” She wiped away a tear with the sleeve of her sweater. “I actually… I quit medical school, a few years back.”

“I’m sorry, I didna know…”

“It’s honestly fine,” she replied hastily. “I’m really happy with the decisions I’ve made in my life, and I don’t have any regrets. Honestly. It’s just… sometimes it hits me that the plans I made my whole life didn’t work out. It gets me sometimes.” Jamie watched her, listening. “Oh my god, I just keep rambling!” She sat back on her hands, legs out in front of her, ankles crossed. “I’m so sorry about that, I really am fine.” She smiled at Jamie, and reached down to hold her hand.

“I understand the feeling of missing things that didna come to pass. I feel it myself sometimes.” Claire watched their hands intertwine. “Ye can always talk to me, Claire. I’m always here.” I’ll always be here.

She laughed then, and looked up at him still sitting in the chair. “Next time, I’d like to see you when one of us hasn’t nearly killed ourselves with a fall.” She giggled, and Jamie followed suit.

“Ideally, that’d lovely,” he replied with a laugh of his own. “What brings ye to the shop by the way, if ye don’t mind me asking? I never expected to see ye here today.”

“Oh, I came here for the first time after I moved, and I try to make my way in again whenever I can but work makes that a little difficult. It’s one of my favorite places in Boston though. It’s so quaint and quiet, but somehow still enchanting, and then today I saw a poster in the window asking for musicians and…” Jamie was absolutely beaming. “Wot?”

He laughed then at her absolute Englishness, and brought his free hand up to join their combined ones. “I’m jes’ glad ye like it here so much is all.”

She looked down at their hands. “To be honest, I was going to come today anyways, but then I saw the poster, and I remembered what the name of this place is, and well, I took a chance.”

Jamie was watching her intensely. “And ye took a chance.” He, too, looked down at their hands. “I’m glad ye did.”

The conversation was heavier than Claire thought it would be. She didn’t expect this. She cleared her throat and asked, “So, how long have you been here?”

“Me, or the shop?”

“Both, I suppose. The shop has been here as long as I have.”

“I moved here from Scotland--”

“Shocking, the accent didn’t give anything away,” she joked, and he pinched her forearm before continuing.

“--back in 2015--”

“Hey, that’s when I got here, too!”

“--and I’ve been here ever since. When I graduated my undergraduate studies, I went back home to the highlands and spent some time with family. Wandering the cobbled streets, the little shops, reading about the history… it was the only thing I wanted to do with my life. Some things happened back in Scotland -- some family things and some ex-girlfriend things -- and Boston seemed as good a place as any with history to start over. So, here I am. I started the shop, hired the lads when they came over a bit after me, and that’s the story.”

“I feel like there’s more to the story you’re leaving out,” she said with a grin, “and I do love a good story, Mr. Fraser.”

“Ye got the Cliffnotes version. Tell me yours,” he nodded at her.

“Well, I nearly didn’t survive medical school. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t coping, and my mental health was kind of in the gutter,” she looked at him, and he gave her a sympathetic smile. Maybe he understood the feeling better than he let on. “I decided to drop out during my junior year and leave it behind. My uncle used to live here and left me some property, so I moved, and started over. Geillis and Joe came over after they graduated. Joe continued with medicine, and Geillis joined me, and as you said, that’s the story.”

“And where is it you started over at? What is it ye do?”

“Oh, I opened a plant shop here in Beacon Hill. It’s exotic houseplants, non-traditional bouquets, that kind of thing. It’s small, and eventually I’d like to run a greenhouse and garden, but right now, the shop is perfect. Besides, Boston isn’t exactly conducive for having that, is it?” She laughed, and tried to hold her pipe dreams at bay. “Geillis offers zero-waste products, and makes some of the macrame hangers and planters in the shop. It really is the most lovely place. If you ever want to visit and make sure I’m not the one to fall off a ladder, it’s just over on---”

“Garden Street. Aye, I know the place,” said Jamie, smiling to himself. His eyes were positively twinkling.

“You know the shop?”

“Where d’ye think all the plants in this place came from? Aye, I know yer wee shop and believe me, Claire. It’s a dream. I had no idea it was you behind it all.” He paused, watching her. Drinking her in. “We’ve just missed each other for years now, it would seem.”

All she could do was nod. Her mind was racing. How had they been so close so many times, but had never met? How had only two days with the man made her feel like her heart was beating outside her chest? He moved to the floor to sit next to her, his hand on her thigh. Suddenly, he turned to her. “I think yer verra brave, Claire. For starting over like that. For following your dreams.” Her pulse slowed with his comforting words, and her hand rested on top of his. “I could say the same about you, you know.”

They stayed that way for a while, watching the people down below, touching hands, touching legs, moving closer into shoulders and sides. Jamie leaned back into the shelves. Claire sighed.

“Since you own the place, I guess I should let you get back to work.” She stood, smiled, and started down the stairs. Jamie launched to his feet, unwilling to let what happened the previous night repeat itself.

“Claire! Lass!” He reached for her hand and she stopped a few stairs below him, turning to face him. His mouth was dry.

“I dinna think I can’t wait a week to see ye again. I didna think I could stand it this morning and then ye dropped out of the clear blue sky into my shop and ye sang yer songs -- oh, and I didna know ye knew French! I do as well,” Claire blushed at that but Jamie continued on, “and ye showed up and mended my wounds and ye told me of our shared histories, and… and I willna wait to see ye again.” He descended a step. “That is, if ye want to see me, too.”

Claire was overcome not just with Jamie’s declaration, but also with everything that had happened today and the last five years that led them here today. She could only smile at his nervousness, and admire him. You’re beautiful, James. His simple navy t-shirt was pulled taught across strong muscles, the red curls she daydreamed of were just combed straight back with the exception of a single lock that escaped with his chase of her down the stairs. His ocean eyes bore into hers with a plea, with an guarded passion Claire was increasingly desperate to unlock. She reached in her crossbody bag to retrieve a pen and finding no paper, offered up a Dunkin’ Donuts receipt. She brought the receipt up to his chest, just above his heart, and wrote her name and number.

“I’ll be waiting for your call,” she said, and turned back down the stairs, not waiting for a reply.

She reached was reaching for the door when a voice echoed down the stairs, “I promise ye’ll hardly be waiting at all, Sassenach.”

His phone rang then, and a woman’s smiling face shone up at him from the screen. As soon as he could, he would call Claire. He sighed, and hit accept on the call.

#songs about me fic #in which tessaactually tries fan fic #outlander fan fic #outlannder prompt exchange

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whatiwillsay · 4 years

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submission:

Reputation is about more than one relationship; a thesis by anon

Hello! I am that anon who thinks Rep is about more than one relationship and this is a hill I am very much willing to die on. I believe there are (at least) two relationship stories told in detail on this album.

One is the relationship between two very famous women (*cough*Kaylor*cough), who are struggling to make it work because of the public pressures. The other is between Taylor and someone who is out of the public eye, or at least someone she is able to keep the relationship completely private. I’m not going to speculate on whether that’s Lily or Joe (lol so full disclosure I don’t think it’s Joe but someone else might) or maybe someone else we don’t know much about. All I know is that there is more than one relationship being discussed. Let’s dive into this analysis, shall we?

The first explicit mention of the public relationship - let’s actually just refer to it as Kaylor from here on out - is on End Game.

Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations Ah, and you heard about me Ooh, I got some big enemies (yeah) Big reputation, big reputation Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation Ah, and I heard about you (yeah) Ooh, you like the bad ones, too

Tay’s lover on here is someone with a big reputation, and being with the person would be a big conversation. Endless Kaylor analyses have discussed this as ‘proof’ that it’s not about Joe. Which, yes, obviously. But equally obviously, any woman in a relationship with Tay would be a big conversation so once we exclude Joe as a possibility, as we rightfully should, we wind up with plenty of other options.

Later in the song we do hear more explicit Karlie lines like “it’s like your body is gold”. We all suspect Karlie is gold (I tend to agree), so let’s call it a Kaylor anthem. Cool. Then, what can we learn about their relationship from this song?

I don’t wanna touch you, I don’t wanna be Just another ex that you don’t wanna see I don’t wanna miss you (I don’t wanna miss you) Like the other girls do I don’t wanna hurt you, I just wanna be Drinking on a beach with you all over me I know what they all say (I know what they all say) But I ain’t tryna play I wanna be your end game (End game) I wanna be your first string (First string) I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team) I wanna be your end game, end game

The lyrics explicitly suggest Tay’s begging the lover to make it work. It’s “I wanna be” not “I am”. She’s craving affirmation, she’s wanting to be chosen; we can pick that up from the repetitive nature of the song. First string, A-team, end game… She just wants for her to be the one. Some might say that would be fun. She’d love for them to wind up together - but there is no clear sign in the lyrics that it’s an actual possibility. It’s what she wants. She’s trying to convince her lover that she is committed, but they never resolve that commitment in the song. It’s never fully requited. No matter how many times she offers what she ‘wants’, there is no response.

Later, she sings:

I hit you like bang We tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em Reputation precedes me, they told you I’m crazy I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me And I can’t let you go, your hand prints on my soul It’s like your eyes are liquor, it’s like your body is gold You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks So here’s the truth from my red lips I wanna be your end game (End game) I wanna be your first string (Me and you) I wanna be your A-Team (Be your A-Team now) I wanna be your end game, end game I wanna be your end game (oh, I do) I wanna be your first string (first string) I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team) I wanna be your end game, end game

I’ve referenced part of this above, because it’s where the Kaylor-ness of it all gets more explicit (drinking/liquor/intoxication, gold, handprints/footprints). But again, this isn’t a happy ‘in love’ song. It’s Taylor actively trying to convince Karlie that her feelings are real. “Here’s the truth” she says - that doesn’t sound romantic, it sounds like they’re fighting and wanting to make things work but it’s all proving to be incredibly challenging.

When we add Taylor’s tone of voice in - and the almost forlorn “I wanna be your end game” at the start - my reading makes a lot of sense. It’s definitely a Kaylor song; Kaylor songs are always steeped in anxiety.

Our next clear Kaylor song is ‘Don’t Blame Me’ which (importantly) Taylor didn’t write, but which clearly picks up on themes she finds relatable. Apparently it’s similar to Hozier’s Take Me To Church (I don’t know much about Hozier, but from a quick glance at those lyrics that’s not a wildly happy song either).

Something happened for the first time In the darkest little paradise. Shaking, pacing, I just need you. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind. They say, “She’s gone too far this time.” Don’t blame me. Love made me crazy. If it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right. Lord, save me. My drug is my baby I’ll be using for the rest of my life.

We’re going back to that same theme from End Game - Tay is begging her lover to make it work. “For you” she says, “I” would do just about anything. Cross the line, waste time (a biggie when you’re Taylor fucking Swift), even lose her mind. Love has made her crazy, unstable - it’s almost a play on the satire of Blank Space. True love seems to have actually made her into that mad woman she laughed at on the previous album. She’s shaking and pacing, craving the physical release of her drug of choice. (The shaking and pacing in a darkened room comes up later on the album again, by the way - it’s clear that Tay is super into Karlie and I do get it, she’s so gorgeous it’s nuts).

Then comes this gayness:

My name is whatever you decide, And I’m just gonna call you mine.

I’m gonna pause here because these call me by your name vibes are just. So. Damn. Gay. But that’s neither here nor there. Tay continues:

I’m insane, but I’m your baby (your baby). Echoes (echoes) of your name inside my mind. Halo, hiding my obsession. I once was poison ivy, but now I’m your daisy. And, baby, for you, I would fall from grace Just to touch your face. If you walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.

Again, we’re picking up those same recurrent themes: she’s asking her to stay, she is willing to risk it all for love. The daisy is a Kaylor inside joke, we all know about Big Sur, so I’m not going to dwell on that.

The name thing is more interesting, as is the ‘halo, hiding my obsession’. To me, both gesture towards the public nature of the relationship that first started in End Game and picks up steam in later songs. “My name is whatever you decide” she says, but the other woman’s name keeps echoing in her mind, possibly because of her lover’s big reputation? I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s fascinating. I think Tay’s got a thing about names - lol Betty and James but also later in this album; bear with me - so I think this whole name bit is of interest. I think Tay likes the idea of the symbolism of names and the concept often comes up in her lyrics…

Then we get the line which suggests one or both of them have a (public) halo, that they use to hide the desperate love Tay feels for her lover. To be honest, that screams glass closeting phase to me. We go straight from ‘hiding my obsession’ to the daisy references. “Glass closeting with me is fun!” cries Tay, “Please stay with me, please please please.”

But once again, there’s no answer.

And then we switch gears and go into Delicate. What we’ve established in the two songs above is Tay is very invested and wants to make it work, and that she’s dealing with someone who is also famous, and that there are complications. One of those complications is that she’s insecure in the relationship.

Delicate opens with:

This ain’t for the best My reputation’s never been worse, so You must like me for me…

It sets a different tone and attitude to the last two songs. For the first time, we’re hearing an analysis of her lover’s feelings. She’s not begging, she’s not urging. She’s shocked that this person wants her for her. The big reputations and the shaking, quaking and pining are suddenly gone.

We can’t make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink…

Here the lover is more involved than she was previously. Taylor has gone from asking for something to saying that this is what’s happening. This is chilled, low key. This isn’t an obsession. This isn’t her ‘hitting like bang’. It’s two people starting something very… delicate. It’s not love at first sight, it’s an exploration of possibilities. They’re going to a dive bar, they’re hanging out. It’s calm and peaceful. Her anxiety here is a gentle, delicate, romantic one. It’s not dramatic like on the Kaylor songs.

Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you

The theme of secrecy comes in strong on the lines above. They’re hiding, and they’re private. This is not “I would fall from grace just to touch your face” - the stakes are markedly lower. It’s the start of something new, something beautiful. She’s starting over again. And she’s doing so with someone who is willing to hide with her.

This is in sharp contrast to our Kaylor anthems, as we’ve already seen above. Ready for another Kaylor song? So It Goes (again, not by Tay but thematically linked) is peak Kaylor.

See you in the dark All eyes on you, my magician All eyes on us You make everyone disappear, and Cut me into pieces Gold cage, hostage to my feelings Back against the wall Trippin’, trip, trippin’ when you’re gone

Okay, here we have a gold cage imprisoning Tay and a ‘lightning strikes every time she moves’ woman stealing the attention of everyone who sees her. She’s got Tay backed up with nowhere to go and tripping when she’s gone. That’s the same insecurity from before.

'Cause we break down a little But when you get me alone, it’s so simple

She’s explicitly acknowledging their problems, but the problems fall away when they’re in bed or having a romantic interaction.

'Cause baby, I know what you know We can feel it… And all the pieces fall Right into place Getting caught up in a moment Lipstick on your face So it goes… I’m yours to keep And I’m yours to lose You know I’m not a bad girl, but I Do bad things with you So it goes…

The above doesn’t need much additional analysis, there are Kaylors who’ve done it and I recommend going to read those (or just looking up times Tay ended up with smudged lippy around Karlie).

Here’s the really relevant bit:

Met you in a bar All eyes on me, your illusionist All eyes on us I make all your grey days clear and Wear you like a necklace I’m so chill, but you make me jealous But I got your heart Skippin’, skip, skippin’ when I’m gone

Does that sound the same as the ‘dive bar on the East Side where you at?’ Because to me, while describing similar situations - dates in bars - they are explicitly different in mood, tone and atmosphere. In Delicate, Tay and her lover were hiding out in the back, having a heart to heart. Here, the bar has ‘all eyes’ on them. Kaylor both have big reputations and Karlie makes Tay anxious and jealous. She’s not ever sure where she stands with her. The best she can come up with (and you must listen for the high-pitched, uncertain tone with which this line is sung) is that Karlie’s heart skips when Tay’s gone. That’s hardly explicit confirmation of deep, requited feelings.

You did a number on me But, honestly, baby, who’s counting? I did a number on you But, honestly, baby, who’s counting? You did a number on me But, honestly, baby, who’s counting? Who’s counting? 1, 2, 3

This once again acknowledges the difficulties in the relationship. It is not ‘Delicate’. It is not always happy. It’s a proper fucking mess.

Cool now let’s take a look at another Kaylor anthem:

I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason

I hear the naysayers point to the ‘in secret’ as paralleling Delicate (which so far has been the only one that’s not about Karlie). The thing, though, is that this is about love at first sight/physical attraction/lust - not about the meaningful emotional connection we glimpsed in Delicate. Delicate is explicitly not about love ar first sight or love without reason. It’s about embarking on something new and beautiful but having trepidation along the way. It’s about careful connection.

My, my love had been frozen Deep blue, but you painted me golden

I’m including this as further evidence this is about Kaylor. As I said Karlie = gold. We’ve heard this image in every Kaylor song. You know what didn’t feature in Delicate? Gold. Spoiler: it won’t feature in CIWYW and KOMH either.

I could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets Picture of your face in an invisible locket You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it I had a bad feeling And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis People started talking, putting us through our paces I knew there was no one in the world who could take it I had a bad feeling

In this verse we have people talking and noticing this couple. She’s describing a well-known, public relationship. It isn’t a secret, not really, despite the actual love being kept somewhat secret. Their locket may be invisible but despite that, this relationship is something well known. Furthermore, we already know she has had a bad feeling. That’s kind of the premise of many of her other Karlie anthems - she’s begging Karlie to stay and trying to convince her that they have something real and serious. She is constantly trying to convince Karlie of the seriousness of her feelings. And, well, the song ends with her saying she’d like to dance with Karlie again but there’s no real way forward, seeing as their hands are tied. The whole thing is quite sad.

Let’s look at the other very very Kaylor song (like there’s literally no other way to read it):

Our secret moments In a crowded room They got no idea About me and you There is an indentation In the shape of you Made your mark on me A golden tattoo All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah) All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

We have the familiar desperation, the shaking, the gold, and the secret moments in plain view. And again, they’re both very famous:

Everyone thinks that they know us But they know nothing about All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

We also get this bit:

Say my name and everything just stops I don’t want you like a best friend

There’s the name thing again and after that the gayest, most glass closety line I’ve ever witnessed. “I don’t want you like a best friend”, she says. I want your body. I want your love. I want us. I want this relationship to be real.

You know what that clarification is in sharp contrast to:

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to

Tay didn’t want to call it what you want with Karlie. She wanted to call it end game, first string, A team. She didn’t want to be friends. People talking about them caused her anxiety and lead to the breakup described in DWOHT. CIWYW has that renewed joyful tone that she had in Delicate. It’s hopeful and optimistic. It’s all about about connection and meaningful interactions:

I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck Chain round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me

This is not an invisible locket, this is not about sex and getting clothes off in bathtubs, this is about a really deep emotional connection which we first heard on Delicate. Notably, it’s the third time she speaks of necklaces on the album, but it’s the first that it’s not sexual. It’s also - importantly - not invisible. It’s not comparing the lover to a necklace (like before, which makes it a physical connection) or saying their relationship can be entirely symbolized by one. She’s saying she’d actually love to actually have tangible physical proof of the relationship. She wouldn’t have said that about Karlie because she wasn’t expressly convinced the feelings were fully mutual. Also, this song is missing that desperate pining and longing that she experiences for Karlie in the Kaylor songs.

I know people hear “Karlie” instead of “Call It” but honestly it makes more sense as one of the non-Kaylor songs. I think maybe the rhyme is her trolling Karlie - call it what you want, which is certainly not what she had with Karlie. This would also kind of explain the laugh in Miss Americana. If someone sang me a song about how things are good between us, and added in a dig at her ex, I’d laugh too. And let’s be honest discussing exes - especially exes in the same social circle (Tay, Lily and Karlie) - is peak lesbian culture.

One more thing:

Cause… My baby’s fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I’m the one he’s walking to

Karlie has never had her head down. She is super active on socials, as a model, and as a philanthropist. Karlie has never been quietly walking “to” Tay. She’s been stunting and traveling and being extraordinarily visible. And all the Kaylor songs deal with that very public nature - with rumors and discussions and everyone’s eyes being on Karlie and the anxiety that causes Tay. I know some Kaylors think they just went underground after being caught making out but that’s just not what’s being described in CIWYW. It’s a different person.

My baby’s fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I’m brand new So call it what you want, yeah

She’s explicitly saying her baby doesn’t form part of “the scene” but rather floats above it. How does that fit Karlie going on vacation with Scooter? Or anything about Karlie, actually? This is obviously about someone very private or not particularly famous. Or both.

Bonus lyric from a non love song that points to an actively private relationship is “and here’s to my baby, he ain’t reading what they call me lately” - why would Karlie not read stuff? She is calling the paps on herself and Josh regularly but she’s not following Tay’s PR game? Make it make sense?

Anyhow back to CIWYW. In that song, her baby loves her - a source of anxiety that never gets stated explicitly resolved in the Kaylor songs. Those songs have her begging for love, not stating it’s existence matter of factly. The difference is palpable.

And I know I make the same mistakes every time Bridges burn, I never learn At least I did one thing right I did one thing right I’m laughing with my lover Making forts under covers Trust him like a brother Yeah, you know I did one thing right

I’m including this because of the chilled out atmosphere, the “brother” simile (which to me is kind of the opposite of “not wanting you like a best friend”) and the insistence that this is “right” which is absent in the Kaylor songs.

KOMH keeps with that same quiet, calm, positive energy.

I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own I made up my mind, I’m better off being alone We met a few weeks ago Now you try on calling me, baby, like trying on clothes Salute to me I’m your American Queen And you move to me like I’m a Motown beat And we rule the kingdom inside my room 'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars With their Range Rovers and their Jaguars Never took me quite where you do

“Try on calling me” like “trying on clothes” is that same idea from Delicate. Things are early, and uncertain. They’re exploring this and seeing where it goes.

This is not a public relationship, it’s entirely “inside her room”. And it doesn’t feature expensive cars and the visibility her - or Karlie’s - stunts had. (Kinda interesting that she drove Lily in the Toyota, don’t you think? And also drives her/someone in Miss Americana?)

This relationship is super secret:

Late in the night, the city’s asleep Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

But what’s secret? Not Tay’s love of this person like before. “Your love” is the secret. As I’ve pointed out that affirmation of requitedness never happens in the Kaylor anthems and hiding out in the dark. Additionally “idea of luxury” is very different to her drug imagery from the Kaylor songs, by the way. This is not addictive, this is just nice.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa And all at once, you are all I want, I’ll never let you go

I believe the “all at once” contrasts the love/lust at first sight feelings she expressed for Karlie. This didn’t “hit her like bang” - it surprised her after a few weeks. And it’s not just a physical connection. This person rules her heart, body and soul.

And what do they do together? Well it’s less ripping off clothes and more chilled hangouts with someone who makes her happy:

Is this the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending With all these nights we’re spending Up on the roof with a school girl crush Drinking beer out of plastic cups Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff Baby, all at once, this is enough

This is very cute. It’s very much lacking anxiety. She’s happy with her new person; it is finally “enough”. That’s not true for her relationship with Karlie. “School girl crush” is a very cutesy image - and is in stark contrast to the craving, shaking, pining, and bedpost carving that came with “not wanting you like a best friend”. Notice how the second relationship uses constant friendship/platonic imagery and how that type of imagery is not expressly disavowed in the Kaylor songs.

I also think it’s worth contrasting the “beer out of plastic cups” on the roof with “I’m spilling wine in the bathtub” and “eyes like liquor”. All three references are about drinking - but only one is peppy, cute and upbeat and the others are full of lustful desperation.

Now the other possible reading - implicitly favored by the Kaylor community - is that KOMH, CIWYW, and Delicate are set at a different point in the relationship to the sex songs. Unfortunately that doesn’t really hold water because, as I’ve pointed out, the origin story described is different. Kaylor “hit like bang” and fell in love at first sight. The other relationship started out slow and cautious, but quickly settled into something quietly special. These other songs are about a connection that’s chilled out and very emotional and cerebral. The Kaylor songs are about how much she wants to sex up Karlie and leave scratches down her back (which, I mean, fair). The other songs are about tentative emotions and cutesy intersections.

Also KOMH, CIWYW and Delicate are the three songs that feature British/foreign imagery. (This is why I think they’re about Lily or maaaaaybe Joe but again I doubt that and the scene in MA where a woman laughs during CIWYW contradicts it and I also have further lyrical evidence it’s not him which I’ll address below). In KOMH she says “you fancy me” and describes herself as “an American queen”, in CIWYW her baby’s “fit like a daydream” and in Delicate she asks about the “girls back home”. Also East side and West side in Delicate make more sense as being about London. Dive bars in the East End are a vibe. But that’s neither here nor there.

Why is this analysis important? To me it shows that contrary to the rosy Kaylor depictions, the Kaylor lyrics consistently show they always had massive issues (not dissimilar to her issues with Di actually).

Very quickly on why Joe’s not the muse: he’s referenced in Dress in a verse makes no sense lyrically or musically or thematically in the song and I think is only there to make it slightly less gay because otherwise the song is making Kaylor Facebook official. But the “wake up by your side” doesn’t fit in with the pining and anticipation and drunken bath time fun. It’s just thrown in there as deflection. It doesn’t actually fit the other relationship on the album - it’s very romantic but “my one and only, my lifeline” is not the cutesy tone of the other songs. This verse is just made up and slapped in to feed the hets. The musical accompaniment is so markedly different that it is clear it literally doesn’t belong in the song. The other song that makes reference to him, I believe, is “Ready for it”. I think “I keep him forever, like a vendetta” is very much about her plans for him. But it’s a very different thought to “is this the end of all the endings?” because that’s a far less certain emotion. She’s only 100% sure about Joe because it’s… not real.

And final note: Getaway Car is obviously a satirical piece about Hiddlestunt obviously. And I think New Year’s Day is a general love song about the type of relationship she wants, similar to some of her early songs, not about Karlie or Di or Lily/whoever else. It’s missing any of the imagery associated with either relationship except “don’t ever become a stranger” but it might be written from diary entries (which she has shown us she does). Final final note: I don’t know for sure who Gorgeous is about. It could just be a song about hot girls more generally.

If anyone is interested in further thoughts, I’m happy to do this for Lover and folklore too. I think we need to challenge the myth of Kaylor being perfect. And I think we should listen closely and let the lyrics speak for themselves.

*********************************************

thanks for taking the time to write all this up! let’s discuss!!!

#submission #reputation #reputation analysis

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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years

Text

Heathers AU MasterPost

So anyway, I made a post on one of my alts about a Heathers AU so I went and made one. Enjoy?

Character Assignment:

Heather C: TangoTek

Heather D: ImpulseSV

Heather M: Zedaph

Kurt and Ram: Cub and Scar

Martha Dunstock: Joe Hills.

Veronica: XisumaVoid.

JD: Evil X.

Contextual Changes:

-The Convex aren't creeps in this AU like Kurt and Ram are, just really shady business men. I'm not comfortable with that in my AU or portraying characters based on real people like that; even if it is just the character. Sorry.

-Joe isn't bullied for being fat (because he isn't.) He gets bullied for being weird. IE, 'who writes poetry for fun? Geek.'

-Unlike Martha Dunstock who has a crush on Ram (or Kurt if it's the movie,) Joe just wants to befriend Scar and learn how to make hella money.

-Xisuma (Veronica) and Evil X (JD) knew each other before the AU started but Xisuma hasn't really given him the time of day until now.

-Also they aren't a couple, just good friends.

-Dead Gay Son and Shine A Light were removed because they didn't really have narrative purpose.

-Anyway, this is based on the musical meaning if anything changed from the Movie, (IE, Betty Finn's disappearance) that also goes here.

Line Changes: (WIP, also I'm bad at lyrics. Feel free to comment or reshare with additions.)

Veronica: Things will get better, soon as my letter, comes from Harvard, Duke or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma, then I can blow this town.

Xisuma: Things will get better, soon as my letter, comes from damn SMP Live. Wake from this nightmare, no longer have to care, then I can leave these guys.

(Tomcat)

Heather C: Mascara maybe some lip gloss, now we're on our way.

Tango: Leave the helmet, come on let's see you- oh you're kinda cute.

(Tomcat)

Heather M: Course if you don't care, fine, go braid her hair. Maybe Sesame Street is on.

Zedaph: Course if that's your schtick, fine, go suck his dick. Maybe get the gay pornos on.

(Tomcat)

The Plot:

It's the start of Season N. Xisuma's getting tired of being admin and has secretly planned this to be his last season on the server. His plan is to join SMP Live once it's all over. His friend Joe Hills (they've been friends since season 1) asks X if he's free to hang out after the recording day is over. X is like 'yeah, sure bud! :D' and Scar and Cub start bullying both of them.

Some time passes and X is chilling in an area he's not meant to be in. Team ZIT is also there and a hermit who isn't the owner of the area says 'hey? Are you allowed to be there?' Xisuma pulls out a fake I.O.U and says 'yeah, we have permission.' The hermit leaves and Team ZIT take an interest in Xisuma. They let him join team ZIT. (Beautiful.)

Meanwhile, The Vexes are leaving for about a week or so. Cub and Scar decide to hold a 'welcome to the new season!' Party at their base and invite Team ZIT+X. Tango peer pressures Xisuma into making a fake invitation to Joe Hills for the banter and Xisuma does it. (Candy Store.)

Anyway, Xisuma stumbles across Evil X winning in PVP against Cub and Scar. (Fight For Me.) After Cub and Scar either die or retreat (or both,) Xisuma says hello to Evil X and strikes up a conversation. Evil X is sad because everyone thinks he's evil and he has no friends. Xisuma apologises to him for treating him too harshly and banning him whenever he comes online and they become friends. (Freeze Your Brain.)

The Convex throw their party. Xisuma gets drunk and throws up on Tango's foot or something and Tango is ticked off. Tango's gonna PVP him and or grief his base, whichever takes ya fancy. (Big Fun.)

Xisuma goes to Evil X and climbs in through his window. They just hang out and play games all night and get to know each other better. Evil X suggests on kicking Tango out the server for threatening to grief Xisuma's base. Xisuma isn't sure about that initally but he eventually around. (Dead Girl Walking.)

The two go to Tango's base and offer him suspicious stew. Tango gets poisoned from it and Evil X 'jokingly' punches him and kills him. Xisuma bans him before he can respawn.

Xisuma writes a goodbye note to the server from Tango saying he's leaving. Nobody suspects Xisuma actually banned him. (Me Inside Of Me.)

After that kerfuffle, Scar and Cub go and try to get Xisuma to buy stuff from them. Xisuma keeps telling them to shove off as he can't leave as he's working on a build. Eventually, he gives up and goes to vent to Evil X. (Blue but the lyrics are so changed it's not even the same song.) Evil X suggests pranking Scar and Cub to get them back. Xisuma says okay and sends a message down the communicator saying 'hey, okay, maybe I do wanna buy from you. I'll give you 10 diamonds for (insert item) if you meet me in the shopping district behind Mumbo's shop at sundown.'

Anyway, Xisuma meets with Cub and Scar at sun down. He starts stalling because he didn't actually bring any diamonds. Evil X snipes Cub. Scar tries to run away. His communicator buzzes and he realises Cub was banned. He says he 'doesn't understand' and starts crying because Evil X 'banned his best friend.' Evil X kills and bans Scar too. Xisuma's like 'why'd you ban them? How did you ban them?'

Evil X explains he can ban people and always could but only in the window between being dead and respawning, hence why he always wanted to PVP everyone. Evil X forces Xisuma to write leaving notes for Scar and Cub. He doesn't care what's on it, just put the blame on them. Xisuma remembers that Tango was Cub and Scar's best customer so he says that they'd been planning to leave for a while but Tango leaving was the last straw. (Our Love Is God. But it's not because they're just friends.)

Xisuma tries to talk Evil X out of banning anyone else. Evil X feigns it working. (Seventeen)

Meanwhile, Zedaph is having a hard time trying to cope with Tango leaving. He's just finishing up a build and is mumbling to himself about how he's gonna leave the server once it's done. Xisuma catches him and encourages him to stay. Zedaph stays. (Lifeboat and Shine A Light Reprise.)

Joe tries to leave too due to Scar and Cub leaving. He actually does for a bit but is convinced by Xisuma over discord to come back. (Kindergarten.)

Xisuma starts getting worried about his plans to leave the server. He's beginning to realise that he's basically the glue holding this server together considering the fact that people have started to want to leave. (Yo Girl.)

Xisuma hides in his base to have his mental breakdown meanwhile Evil X is outside telling him about how he's going to destroy the server (ASMR.) Xisuma uses commands to make it look like he's left the server. Evil X falls for it and goes to nuke the server. (Meant To Be Yours.)

Xisuma goes to hunt down Evil X. Xisuma finds him in a big hole filled with TNT under the shopping district. Evil X monologues for a bit and Xisuma tries to ban him. It doesn't work. Apparently Evil X swapped their roles in the server, making it so that Evil X can ban people without killing them and X can only ban people during the 'dead but not respawned' window. Xisuma and Evil X PVP for a bit and Xisuma slays Evil X. (Dead Girl Walking Reprise.) Xisuma comes out the hole and Evil X sets off the TNT anyway. Evil X dies and Xisuma bans him. (I Am Damaged.)

Anyway, Xisuma, Joe and Zedaph become friends, the end. (Seventeen Reprise.)

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nicolewoo · 4 years

Text

I’ve Been Dreaming About You Part 2

Pairing: Roman Reigns X Reader (Joe Anaoi X Reader)

Warnings: None. Just fluff!

We were just minutes away from Laura’s house when my phone dinged. I handed the phone to Laura and gave her the code to un-lock it.

“It’s an unknown caller.” Laura practically sang out to me. She opened the text and said, “He wants to know if you’re home yet.”

He was WWE superstar Roman Reigns, or as we found out today, Joe Anaoi. He’d seen me and arranged to meet me. He and his Shield brothers had told me that he’s been dreaming about me for over a year. Pick up line? Yeah, probably, but he hadn’t made a move on me. Well, there was a kiss, but he hadn’t tried to sleep with me. Moreover, he wanted to come back on his day off and take me on a date.

“Tell him almost.” I told her, and she texted the message to him.

The phone dinged again, and Laura laughed, “He told you not to text and drive.”

“Tell him I’m not.” Well, we had one thing in common. Not texting and driving was important to both of us. I waited as she typed and then waited for a response.

“He said ok. I told him I’m texting while you drive.” She assured me. The phone dinged again, “Oh! He wants to know if you’ll call him when you get home.”

I couldn’t stop the smile that came over me. “Tell him yes.” I heard her type out the response.

“This whole situation is so weird,” She pondered. I didn’t answer, but only nodded my head. “Are you seriously just going to go out with him?”

I took a deep breath as I thought. “Yes. Why not?”

She sounded upset, “What do you really know about him? I mean, I’m pretty sure Seth and Dean were telling the truth, but really, who knows?”

“We don’t.” I said thoughtfully, “But any time I go on a first date, I take chances. At least with this man, he has a public reputation to protect.”

“Good point.” She said as I pulled up in her driveway. “Anyway, thanks for taking me with you tonight, and please let me know what’s going on. I’m invested in this now.”

I just smiled, “I promise. Now get to bed. I’ve got a phone call to make. Love ya!”

“Love ya too. Talk to you tomorrow.” I drove home, excited to talk to Joe again. Thankfully, the drive was just a couple of minutes.

=====================================================

I settled into bed, plugging my phone in to charge before I called him. “Hello.”

“Hey,” I said.

“You home?” he asked.

“Yes. Home safe and sound. How is driving through Missouri at…” what time was it? I checked the clock. “1 am?”

I heard him chuckle. “Dark and boring.”

“Just cows and billboards?” I’d made that drive quite a few times, although seldom at night.

His low laugh caused butterflies in my stomach. “Something like that. What are you doing?” he changed the subject.

“I just got home, and I’m relaxing now.” I omitted the fact that I was curled up in bed.

“Do you have to work in the morning? I don’t want to keep you up if so.”

It was my turn to chuckle. “I don’t start work until late morning, so don’t worry about it.”

“So, any idea where you want to go to dinner?” He asked.

“Well, that depends on what you like.” I teased.

“I like just about anything.” He said, giving me no direction.

I thought for a second, “Well, if that’s the case, there’s a really great steak house downtown. Depending on where you stay, we may be able to walk from your hotel to it.”

He hummed his approval. “Steak will be fine.” He paused before saying, “Listen, I was thinking about coming earlier in the day. When do you get off work?”

I just laughed to myself. What he didn’t know was that I owned my own marketing firm, and Tuesdays were my lightest day. I could literally get off work by 11 am if I wanted to. I just had to work harder the day before. “I should be off by noon.” I said nonchalantly.

“Really? That’s perfect.” He said. “Any ideas what we could do?”

I smiled to myself, “Yeah, a few. You want to do the tourist stuff or spend the day seeing how the natives live?” I laughed.

“You really spend that much time in St. Louis?” He asked.

“Yes. My city is wonderful, but there’s so much more culture in St. Louis, like restaurants from different countries and art. We just don’t have those things in the semi-small town we live in, plus St. Louis is so close.” I explained.

“I want to see St. Louis the way you do.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

We talked until he arrived in Kansas City at a little after 3 am. I chided myself for staying up so late. I was going to be dragging tomorrow. That said, how often did I get the chance to talk to a WWE star?

We ended up talking a lot before Tuesday. There were sweet good morning texts, phone calls at night and even a couple of face time conversations sometimes with his Shield brothers and sometimes without.

One thing was perfectly clear; there was a connection between us. Or, I guess I should say I felt like there was a connection. I guess we’d find out for sure on Tuesday.

====================================================

I don’t think I’d ever been this nervous going on a first date. I mean, this was Roman Reigns! Well, the guy who played Roman Reigns. He was Samoan, tall, tan, built, famous, rich, kind and funny. What the heck did I think I was doing? Girls like me just don’t end up on dates with guys like that!!!

And if that weren’t enough to scare me, he’d been dreaming about me. What if I didn’t live up to his expectations? My mind raced the whole morning. By the time I drove to meet him, I was shaking from nerves. I pulled up to the front of the hotel and found Joe standing outside waiting for me. He was dressed in jeans that fit him perfectly and a black, button down shirt. His long, dark hair was tied neatly in a bun, and when he smiled at me, I thought I’d faint.

He climbed in my passenger seat, grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it before buckling in. “Hey.” His smile broadened, and I melted.

“Hi.” I answered. He still had my hand and ran his thumb over the back of it. “When did you get in?” I asked as I started driving.

“9 this morning,” He said.

My mind reached frantically to find something to say. “How was your flight?” Oh, lovely. I have the most amazing man in my car, and all I can think to say is basic small talk? I’m going to ruin this date. I just know it.

He turned to face me before saying, “The flight was good, but tell me how your meeting went yesterday.” Thank goodness he wasn’t as nervous as me, and we settled into the easy conversation we’d been having on the phone.

Neither of us had eaten, so I headed to the Italian district, called The Hill, and parked in front of my favorite deli. We ate there, in the cramped deli with its rickety old tables and chairs, every table full and a line to order snaked around and out the door. I was nervous about Joe being recognized and inundated with requests for pictures and autographs, but we were only approached by one child who was waiting in line to order. Honestly, the little tyke was so cute and polite, I found it a pleasant experience.

When our sandwiches arrived, Joe loved it. “I can see why you chose this place. It’s delicious and I’m getting the real St. Louis experience.

“I’m just getting started.” I teased and we laughed.

Once we were done, we got back on the road. I turned into Forest Park before asking Joe, “Do you like art?”

He turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “Art?”

“Let me re-phrase that. Art, botany, history or animals?” I wound the car through the curves and hills of Forest Park like only a native could.

He chuckled. “I thought you were going to plan this date.”

“And I have. We are going to one of four places in the park. You just decide art, botany, history or animals?”

I found an empty parking spot on the side of the art museum and waited for him to decide. “I feel like I should say Zoo, because isn’t it like really popular?”

“It is,” I nodded to him. “and it’s great, and if I had kids I’d be there every chance I got.”

He finished the thought, “but there will be kids everywhere. I’d get swamped.”

I just nodded. “It’s up to you though. If you don’t mind the fans, I’m more than happy to take you to the zoo.”

“I think…” he squinted his eyes a bit in contemplation. “I think you want to show me the art, so let’s go.”

I held my hands up, “Don’t put words in my mouth. We have a stellar History museum, the wonderful Jewel Box which is basically a giant greenhouse with tropical plants or our world class Art Museum.”

“Which would you pick if you could spend a few hours here?” Ah he had me. I smiled big.

“The Art Museum.” We laughed. I opened my car door and got out. He sent me a questioning look as I walked around the car and took his hand, leading him around to the front of the museum. The giant façade looked out over Art Hill, a favorite sledding spot, and a beautiful lake.

“You’d already parked at the Art Museum,” he chuckled.

He admired the statue of St. Louis riding his horse in front of the building before opening the large door for me to go in. In front of us was a giant desk, and he reached for his wallet as he went toward the desk. I pulled on his hand to stop him. “It’s free.” I explained.

“Really?” he said as he drew out his wallet and looked for the donation box. He slid $100 in it, which was sweet and generous.

“Now,” I began to slowly pace around the desk to the atrium. “Just so you know, I have to stop by and see a guy,” intentionally wording it to see if he got jealous.

“Oh really?” He took my hand staring at me to see if I’d give him any clue, half scared and half amused.

I nodded, “Yup.” I started walking us to the room on the right. “I’m completely in love with him.” I said as we stopped in front of Reclining Pan, a giant, beautifully carved satyr lounging while eating grapes with his pan pipe close at hand. “Joe, meet Pan.” I said. Joe eyed the marble, admiring the details before walking behind it to look at the back.

“So, this is the competition, huh?” he teased. “I think I can take him.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as my eyes scanned each tiny carve, each smooth curve, each rippling muscle in front of me, and as Joe came back to the front of the statue to join me, I realized the irony of both the statue and him being so muscular…. Like carved out of marble. “I just can’t decide which of you has the better abs…” I couldn’t hold back a teasing smile.

He licked his lips as he thought, “You want me to open my shirt so you can compare?” We laughed so hard, I thought one of the guards was going to tell us to stop. “Baby, I hope you’re not expecting me to have fur and hooves.” We laughed more. He was serious now, “It’s a beautiful statue.”

We wandered through room after room, up and down the stairs, taking in everything from modern sculptures to hieroglyphics. Some areas we went through faster, some slower so we could take in every detail.

Afterward, I took Joe on a drive around the city including The Arch, Graffiti Wall and some other popular places before heading to one of my favorite neighborhoods. The main street is full of shops selling everything from bread to hardware to French home decorations. We meandered stopping in the little shops along the way. Joe found some spices that he wanted to try. I pondered buying some sun-dried tomato and basil bread but decided against it. A young family with two young kids stopped to ask Joe for pictures, and he obliged.

Since I knew Joe liked beer, and we were two blocks away, I walked us over to Schlafly Bottle Works, a St. Louis local brewery. We sat at a little bar table with our drinks and talked about the art we’d seen, the city, work and so much more. The conversation was easy and relaxed.

When it was time, we returned my car to the hotel and started walking to the restaurant. We got stopped by 3 groups wanting pictures in just 2 blocks. I shouldn’t have been surprised at that, but we’d barely had any interruptions, and now we got 3. The young man behind the valet desk’s eyes bulged out when he saw us, and he quickly opened the door for us. Joe went to tip him, and the young man said he’d prefer a picture with Joe. Of course, he gave the kid both the picture and the tip.

“You made that kid’s night!” I chuckled, “and since this restaurant is owned by a former Cardinals player, it’s not uncommon to have players and other stars in here.”

“May I help you?” the young lady behind the hostess desk asked us, maintaining her professional persona even if her eyes did focus on Joe almost exclusively. Joe grabbed my hand, indicating we were together. I pondered for a second if he did that consciously or unconsciously.

“It’s under your name,” I squeezed Joe’s hand, and he returned the squeeze as he told the young lady and she walked us to a table in the middle of the restaurant.

“Could we maybe get that table instead?” Joe gave the hostess his flirty smile and I watched her melt as he pointed to a quiet corner table where we wouldn’t be so obvious.

She nodded as she cooed out, “Of course Sir.” I couldn’t help but laugh. I melted when he looked at me too.

Waiters and busers went into action. First, ice water in our glasses, then drink orders, then delivering drinks etc. One of the things I loved about this place was that it ran like a well-oiled machine. The servers were among the best in the city, and we never wanted for anything, but we also didn’t feel smothered. We sat and ate and talked and laughed. There were touches across the table. There were long eye locks. We watched as the people of St. Louis paraded past the floor length windows next to us. In short, it was perfect. This was by far the best date I’d ever been on.

After, we finished, we asked our waitress for a good calm after dinner place where we could talk, and she suggested Bailey’s Chocolate Bar. I’d heard good things about it and agreed. There, we found a dimly lit, slightly hidden corner with a loveseat and two tiny round tables in front of us each just big enough to hold a drink or two and a candle. As we enjoyed the privacy and the conversation, intimacy grew starting with hand holding, then his arm around the back of the seat, then soft, gentle kisses.

This man could KISS! My body responded to every single kiss, every single touch, torturing me with need. I wanted……. Oh! I wanted. Watching the light from the candle cross his face. Seeing his smile, smelling his cologne. I wanted, but just as my mind was getting hazy with lust, Joe broke our kiss, taking a deep breath to calm down and asked if I wanted to split a dessert with him. If I wasn’t going to give in to my sex drive tonight, I was going to give into a chocolate craving, so I agreed. The dessert was a smart way to break the sexual tension.

“So,” Joe put his arm around my shoulder casually. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

@mindofasagittaruis @lclb13

#roman reigns #joe anaoi

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very-grownup · 4 years

Text

THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 8

Episode 20.

EVERYTHING IS FUCKED UP. That giant robot? No arms, no head! What about this giant robot? Shattered pieces! This mountain? Missing chunks! This military base? Fucking got a huge bite taken out of it and now it's a bat cavern! THAT giant robot? A HORRIBLE GROANING SHAMBLING FLESH ABOMINATION UNDER METAL ARMOUR THAT HAS HUMAN TEETH AND HUMAN HANDS AND HUMAN FINGERNAILS AND ROPEY NECK TENDONS AND EATS THE ALIEN INVADERS WHICH I DIDN'T EVEN THINK WERE MEAT FLESH.

The rest of Episode 20 behind the cut.

NERV's relocating in the wake of ... that whole thing, although they won't have the magic decision making super computers that are the Three Magi because no one makes backups of software in Tokyo-3. Asuka is fine. Rei is in the hospital which is fine for her.

Those old dudes who may be holograms and meet in the darkened void on Simon platforms talk about some shit and get all metaphor about Commander Ikari and look I don't know what they're about or what their deal is but they seem angry at Shinji's shitty dad, too.

OH BUT WHAT ABOUT SHINJI ONLY I APPARENTLY ASK oh Shinji he's /still in the horrible berserk fleshbot/ that is wrapped in bandages like the most upsetting mummy with a single horrible eye visible and has just turned itself off. GREAT. You know in Silent Hill 4 there's an area where there's just a /giant injured head/ of the escort quest neighbour and it's really creepy? The EVA gives me strong those vibes but worse because we just saw it /eating a thing/ and people are just talking with it in the background. And the eye. The staring, horrible eye.

The EVA won't turn on and the plug can't be removed so they can't get Shinji out and also uh Shinji is sort of not there anymore? But he is? Shit's gotten all quantum within the confines of this horrible creature.

Misato has a lot of questions like "where is Shinji" and "what the fuck" and "why" and "fix it" for Ritsuko who is leaning full on into being a cryptic and unhelpful science cypher. On being asked what exactly the EVAs are? Oh, they're human shaped things made by humans. FOR FUCK'S SAKE RITSUKO THAT IS ALSO HOW I COULD DESCRIBE BARBIES AND GI JOE AND FUCKING HELLO KITTY. WHY ARE YOU COMMITTED TO BEING UNHELPFUL. Misato slaps her and it's pretty deserved. Like we just all saw a giant we thought it was a robot /eat an indestructible gun proof bomb proof space thing/ and grow itself a giant fleshy arm don't fucking give me some distorted Today's Special magic mannequin bullshit.

Shinji's horrible father? Wherever he is, he seems to be down with it, being talked at by that one old dude who is maybe one of the Simon holograms I don't fucking know man.

Days pass and it's determined from the scans of the inactive EVA that because of the 400% sync rate between Shinji and the EVA, he's been absorbed into it and the inside of the plug is just orange tang which is primordial goop containing Shinji's consciousness, quantumly. It's like that time the flat angel that was a weird space pancake black hole ate the EVA and Shinji's life support gave out and he had weird near death experiences but /for weeks/ and moreso and quantumly.

These parts of the show, in Shinji's subconscious/quantum primordial goo, are really well done and a really excellent use of recycling animation, still shots, all that sort of stuff, for narrative purposes. Using the effect to indicate the fading in and out of conscious thought. Dissolved Shinji putting together his identity and past and reasserting his ego with flashing shots of things from previous episodes, all going by super fast. Sound clips of characters saying his name over wavering, distorted kanji. Megumi Ogata saying "enemy" over and over again over shots of the angels and then shots of Commander Ikari which ... fair and an accurate conclusion to draw as dissolved Shinji remembers Asuka explaining that the angels are their enemies because they've hurt them/humanity. I'm probably stating the obvious, saying this in 20-fucking-20, but Megumi Ogata does such an amazing job voicing Shinji, especially in parts like this.

I've also said it before but the repetition of these things, especially negative thoughts or upsetting thoughts, strongly and effectively evoke the spiraling, cyclical nature of your thoughts turning against you, inescapably, when you have a brain problem like depression.

There's also a stretch where in the primordial quantum ooze void naked ladies appear and sort of come on to Shinji but also it's a lot of 'become one with me' talk which feels pretty different when a dude is dissolved ego in orange tang in a plug in a meat robot. Misato's there, Asuka's there negging him, Rei's there and they're all naked and stretching their arms out to him but also they all sort of merge together into I guess a primordial woman ooze and it's probably some normal teenage boy stuff but there's also big mom vibes. It's all very messy and there aren't really revelations so much as feelings about what might be revelations in the future and also /Shinji is dissolved in the primordial orange for over 30 days someone please care about this child/.

Misato cares about him, at least as much as anyone does (the bar, the bar is so low), and when they finally get the plug out of the EVA and it opens to spill out orange and an empty plugsuit, she cries and curses science and cradles the empty suit.

... Oh also there's like vines or roots or tentacles or /some shit/ growing over the EVA's ... power ... display ... thing ... Fuck it, man, I don't know the anatomy/layout of meat robots.

Then the EVA just, like, pukes naked unconscious Shinji out.

It clearly has nothing to do with anything NERV was doing and is just the EVA deciding to let Shinji go or Shinji deciding to come out of the goop because Misato's crying maybe? Maybe someone should have tried caring about Shinji earlier than day 33!

Nighttime, Misato is driving Ritsuko home and turns down her offer of drinks because of another engagement which is ... fuckin' Kaji. Getting drunk, smoking, fucking Kaji, just going for bad decision bingo. The fucking is all audio over a still of beer and cigarettes. I curse Kaji, I curse Misato's poor decision making, but she very bluntly lays it out that she's there to get information from Kaji about Commander Ikari and NERV's real plans and also Trevor the angel organism in the sub-sub-sub basement. This concludes my report on Episode 20 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

#neon genesis evangelion report #fuckin' kaji

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headoverhiddles · 5 years

Text

House On Haunted Hill - Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) x Reader

Synopsis: Car troubles? No problem. Especially when you’ve got your boyfriend throwing a fit and a nice, scary looking house that just might have a phone.

Notes: Surprise! Revisiting my Dogs for a bit! Here’s a bit of a fun Pink fic. Hope you enjoy!

“Oh, shit. Ah, fuck!”

You wake up in the passenger’s seat, eyes blinking open. “What…? What is it?”

“God damn fuckin’ piece of shit. Dammit!”

“You know, if you keep swearing at the poor car like that, it’ll stall out on us.”

“One step ahead of ya, kid.” He throws his arms up. You frown, sitting up fully.

“The car…?”

“Died. Well, it’s outta something, but… might as well be dead.”

You lean over, trying to check the controls as your top falls lower, and Pink sighs in aggravation. “Hey, babe? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t flash your tits like that, it only reminds me of the mind blowing sex we’re not gonna have tonight because of this stupid car.”

“Whose car was this anyway?” you mutter, crawling into his lap. He puts a steadying hand on your back as you poke around.

“Eddie’s.”

“Of course.”

“Think he got it from Sam’s Hot Car Lot, let me borrow it for this.”

“Well,” you sit back up, crossing your arms, “Be sure to send him a thank you card.”

Pink looks around, watching the rain pour down and hit the windows hard. “Where the hell are we gonna go from here?”

“We could sleep in the car.”

“We are not sleeping in the car, in the middle of this dirt road, waiting for a mud slide to kill us. Fuck, who’s a guy have to kill for a cigarette?”

“Wait,” you hit his shoulder, “Look! Up there!”

Pink doesn’t look over, instead digs around in his pockets for a light. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure the moon is full and it’s a lovely night to stargaze, but cut the romantic shit for a minute, will you, babe?”

“You asshole, look where I’m pointing!” Pink tears himself away, and sees. There’s a big, old house up a hill beside you two. “It’s the only one I’ve seen for miles.”

“Great,” he mutters. “And I have to get out, cause I’m the man.”

“You know, Larry wouldn’t blow his lid like this.”

“I beg to fuckin’ differ, that guy turns into a steam whistle at the slightest fuckin’ inconvenience.”

“Like you?”

“I keep my cool ‘til it’s reasonable not to, and tonight, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that I would lose it.”

“Hm. Well… Vic would never lose his cool.”

“Vic probably also knows how to fix a car. Maybe we should use the phone in that old dark house to call him up, and invite him out here. While you’re at it, wanna jump into bed with him while I sit there like a tool and hold your purse?”

“No,” you smile, crossing your legs. “No one can fuck me like you can.”

Pink smirks, and shakes his head. “Alright. Wait here baby, okay? I’ll be back in a very wet second.” He leans over, gives you a kiss on the cheek. “Before I get murdered up there, I wanted to tell you– you look pretty tonight.” You blow him a kiss as he darts out of the car. You watch his lanky frame dash up the steps, and see him at the door. He rings the doorbell.

After a few more tries, Pink deflates, and beckons. You groan, and open the glove compartment to find something to hold over your head. A playboy magazine falls out. Classy, Eddie. Holding it over your head, you run up the steps to join your boyfriend.

As you join him, a bat comes and hangs just above you two. “Special. We found Dracula’s castle.” Rolling your eyes, you try the doorknocker yourself. “See? Assheads won’t open the doo–” Pink begins, but it swings open. A small, bitter looking old woman answers.

“Yes? What do you want?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Hello. Have you got a phone we can use? Our car broke down… we need to call someone.” The lady spends a long time glaring between you and Pink, as if you’ve just told her you had a warrant to search her house. Pink sighs, shaking the water off of him. He looks like a drowned rat.

“We’re not tryna sell you anything, lady, we promise! We just need a phone!”

“Very well,” she says, and lets you both in, slamming the door behind you. The house is large, strangely empty, and covered in cobwebs.

“Great place you got here,” Pink says, managing a smile, “Real nice.” You rush over to the fireplace to warm your hands.

“The phone is over there.” She points a gnarled finger toward an ancient looking rotary telephone, and Pink rolls his eyes.

“Geez,” he mutters to you, “Someone’s stuck in the dark ages.”

“Baby, look at this place. Be grateful she even has a phone.” You huddle closer to him as he dials the only safe number he knows. Joe. It rings a couple times as you look around. The house gives you the creeps… just a bad feeling.

“Who is it?”

Pink takes your hand. “Joe. It’s me, Pink.”

“Pink? It’s eleven in the goddamn PM.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Don’t ‘yeah, I know’ me. Didn’t you and your little sweetheart go on a trip somewhere?”

“Yeah, we did.”

“Then what the hell are you talkin’ to me for? If you want pillow talk, turn over. If your girl’s asleep like we all should be, I’ll patch you through to my son.”

“No, wait– it’s a fuckin’ emergency, alright! See, here’s the thing… we got car troubles.”

“Oh. I see.”

“And we need someone out here to come get us. You know… someone inconspicuous. No questions asked. I assume you know a guy.”

“Don’t tell me you were stupid enough to drive a rust bucket Eddie gave ya.”

“Of course we were, Joe,” Pink sighs. As they’re talking, you wander off a bit. The house reminds you of a gothic mansion… rare to see nowadays in the state of California unless it’s on a movie set, but then again, you have no idea where the two of you had ended up.

You walk up the grand staircase, looking to find the lady and thank her again. The you hear the pounding.

Pink paces, as far as he can attached to the phone. “So what do you say? Can you get someone out here for us?”

“Eddie’s off in Cuba, enjoying the spoils of last week’s job like the rest of you. I’ll send Vic, he’s not far away.”

“Great, he’ll have a great time laughing at us.”

“Probably, and I can’t blame the man.”

“Whatever. Tell him fuckin’ hurry up.”

“Don’t push your luck. Take care of that little girl of yours.” Joe hangs up, and Pink looks around.

“(y/n)?!”

You run your hand along the banister, transfixed by the door at the end of the hall. Along with the pounding sound, there’s some kind of blinking light coming from under it, illuminating the shadows, and you shiver. Your wet hair sticks to your neck as you get closer… closer…

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

The old lady comes out of nowhere, and sees you reaching for the doorknob. “N-nothing! I was just… curious–”

“Get out!” she screams, “Before–!”

The door slams open, and you both turn to look. What you see inside is the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen… and you’ve seen a lot, as the girlfriend of a career criminal.

“(y/n)! What are you…” Pink stops at the end of the hall, buggy eyes wide. “Oh, shit.” He runs over to you, and the two of you make a mad dash for the door. Running as fast as you can, the two of you make it back to the broken down car, leaning against the hood. “Jesus, fuck! What the hell was that?!”

“I don’t know,” you breathe, and Pink holds you close to him, to his chest. You look up, and bury your face into his neck. He holds you like that for a few seconds, before you bring your lips to his. The two of you make out for a minute, you straddling him on the hood of the car, before you pull away, leaving him breathless. “That was the bravest I saw you act since… ever,” you say, forehead resting against his.

“You know, I’m not a coward,” he scoffs softly, kissing you again, “I just happen to be very good at running.” You giggle, and he laughs too, the both of you drenched from the rain. “Hey, I’ve got a question.”

Your heart skips a beat. Was he gonna pop the question tonight? You figured it would be sometime during this trip, and this would definitely be one for the books.

“Yeah?” you ask excitedly.

“Um… first of all, I really love you, kid. A lot. Second… did I leave the car keys with you?” You glare at him, as he squeezes water from your shirt sheepishly.

#mr pink x reader #mr pink #mr pink reservoir dogs #reservoir dogs #reservoir dogs x reader #reservoir dogs fanfiction #reservoir dogs imagines #tarantino #tarantino fanfiction #tarantino imagines #quentin tarantino #quentin tarantino fanfiction #steve buscemi #steve buscemi x reader #reader x mr pink #reader x steve buscemi

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bean-witch · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by the wonderful @audi-nos-bitch and @samclownchester <3

Rules: Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10

1. Belly of the deepest love- Tow’rs

2. Green- Cavetown

3. Everybody gets a kitten- jeremy messersmith

4. Burnin’ for you- Blue Öyster Cult

5. Enter sandman (acoustic cover)- SHEL

6. Soldier, poet, king- The Oh Hellos

7. Basket case- Green Day

8. Thistle & weeds- Mumford and Sons

9. Like real people do- Hozier

10. Dear winter- AJR

I’m tagging @vamp1rate @zoycitem @based-on-the-novel-by-joe-hill @soft-pansexual @superjacknougatboii @actualsoyboy

#no pressure

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dmwrites · 2 years

Text

Chapter 2- Michael McChill

ch 1

----

It was a slow day at the Serenity radio station. Michael was darning some socks, and Alesa was adding to her doodle mural on the living room wall. Michael hummed along to the song playing, as the radio was piped through the speakers in the house. The peace was interrupted by a ringing phone.

“Michael, the phone is ringing!” Alesa said, repeating the statement several times while giggling, just to be annoying.

Michael grunted and got to his feet, making his way over to the ancient corded phone he had placed precariously on top of a stack of books. He stared down at the phone for a moment, forehead crinkling with confusion. There were very few people who he gave this number to; it was kind of an emergency line, his only real attempt at separating the radio from his personal life.

He eased the phone from its holder and held it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Michael?” The friendly yet cautious voice on the other end sounded familiar, and Michael wracked his mind to think of the name.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“It’s me, Joe Hills! You know, from Nashville, Tennessee?”

Michael’s eyes went wide, and he gave a shout of laughter. “Joe fuckin’ Hills! From Nashville, Tennessee? Of course I remember you, you bespectacled weirdo! What the hell is up, man? Did you find your way back to wherever you came from? Hermitcrab?” Michael couldn’t help but grin- it was the Joe Hills effect.

“I did, indeed. Listen, Michael, I wish we could exchange pleasantries for longer, but I have an issue that is both alarming and right up your alley, I think. Do you think you could wander your way over to the Hermitcraft server?” Joe spoke fast, a lot more serious then he’d ever been while at the radio station.

“I suppose I could use a break from the radio. Sure man, I’ll see if I can get access to the server. Anything urgent I need to know?” Michael didn’t know why he said it, why he agreed. But it just seemed like the right thing to do. Joe wouldn’t be calling just for any reason.

Joe chuckled. He sounded tired. “Tell me, Michael McChill, what kind of stories do you know about a moon that just keeps getting bigger?”

Michael paused. He scanned the books on the shelf he was facing. “A bigger moon? I mean, there’s a lot of conspiracy theories about the moon… let me see what I can find.”

“Okay. See you soon, Michael.” There was a buzz of static, and Michael was left with the dropped call tone in his ear.

Michael set the phone down in its cradle, and stared blankly at the bookshelf for a moment before snorting in amusement.

“Joe Fuckin’ Hills.” He muttered, plucking a few books and a journal from the shelf.

“Who was that?? Your giiiirllllfriend?” Alesa came back into the living room, giggling when Michael rolled his eyes.

“A friend off-server needs my help.” Michael grabbed an old backpack from a hook on the wall. It was an old but sturdy thing, still with all the patches he’d sewn on it so long ago. “And as much as I hate to say it… Alesa, you’re in charge while I’m gone.”

“Oh FUCK YEAH!” Alesa’s eyes lit up and she punched the air in excitement. “Oh my god! That means the radio too, right?”

Michael groaned, pausing to push the shirts he was folding up to his face. “Yes. But, Alesa, there are a couple of house rules we need to go over before I leave.”

“I know them, Michael. I’m not a child.” Alesa muttered sulkily.

“I know you’re not, but please, just humor me.” Michael sat down on the couch again and Alesa stood on the coffee table in front of him.

“One: don’t let anybody in. I have a key, so if there’s someone looking like me asking to come in, fucking kill them. Two: make sure all of the farms stay up and running- we need them to stay alive. And three: no pop on the radio.”

“Wha- fuck you, old man!” Alesa scoffed, and crossed her arms. “You’re not gonna even be on this server, like hell I’m gonna just play classic hits from the eighties! I do what I want.”

“Oh my god, Serenity’s gonna be a one-star-rating show when I get back. My fucking integrity!” Michael put a hand to his head while Alesa giggled. “Okay, but do you at least promise that you’ll follow the first two rules?”

Alesa ruffled Michael’s hair. “Michael, we’re best friends. You may be paranoid, but yes, i will be safe. Promise.”

Michael made quick work of packing, with Alesa fluttering around him making suggestions (for example, a gun, which Michael could not figure out how on earth she’d gotten one of those things). She braided his hair, and he packed an extra notebook. If Joe Hills, the weirdest guy Michael had met, sounded freaked out on the phone, some shit was bound to be going down.

“Alright, guess it’s time to go- gonna solve me some conspiracy theories or something.” Michael stood at the front door, shifting his backpack on his back. He looked back at Alesa. “Now, where the fuck even is the Hermitcraft server?”

#September 1 2022 #fic #Michael and Joe and Cleo’s super big adventure ft. the moon #michael mcchill #hc8 #hc x dsmp #long post

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rendiggitydog · 5 years

Text

Blast From the Past

The start of a mini-series!

-Chapter 1/7-

The blast from town center sent a shockwave across the whole world, sending the hermits into a frenzy. Almost instantly, the group chat was flooded with messages, and hermits flew from all corners to the scene.

A large crater had appeared in the shopping district, in front of the statues of Tango and Cub. The smoke was still clearing as everyone peered over the edges of the hole.

Xisuma, feeling confident his armor could protect him from possible foreign substances, slid down the sides of the pit, hopping over rocks as he made his way to the center. The smoke began clearing, and a figure could be seen lying in the rubble.

"Hello?" X called cautiously. "Are you alive?"

"I'm real knackered..." The figure sat up slowly, revealing himself to the onlooking group. He sported a big black moustache, with messy back hair that brushed the tops of his ears. His shirt evidently used to be blue, but wasn't anymore, and his jeans weren't much better. His shoes looked nearly worn through on the soles. With wide eyes, he observed the large group watching, and then turned to X. "Where did- how- who are you?"

"My name is Xisuma, what's yours? Where do you hail from?"

"Name's MJ. I think I got too buzzed, this is a wild fever dream..." He glanced at the group peering over the side of the hole, and examined X's armor with skepticism. "You'd think I was a swigger, the things I'm imagining..."

"You aren't imagining anything. This is Hermitcraft! We all live together and have fun. Shall we climb out of this hole, then?"

The pair made their way out of the crater, where Joe met them with a glint in his eye, but a worried expression. "Howdy MJ. It sounds like you're from the 1950's, am I right?"

"Yeah, '51. Ya make it sound like it isn't '51?" MJ wrung his hands.

"No, it's 2019. How bizarre..." X mused.

MJ ran jittery fingers through his hair. "Man, this blows. I don't- and there's- colors everywhere, and- and you're all just like me-"

"I mean, I don't exactly look like you," Doc chuckled.

"Nah, you don't get it. Where I'm from, I'm it. Sometimes ya run into a pig- a creeper if you're unlucky, but that's it. The whole world is grass and trees, as far as the Farlands. It's quiet, being the only one... aware." MJ went quiet, rubbing his arm.

"So you live in a Classic world... How interesting..." X began pacing unconsciously.

"Are you sure it's Classic? He knows creepers, weren't they added in Indev?" Joe quizzed.

"Nope, Classic. Depends on the version, but he probably knows pigs, sheep, zombies, skeletons, spiders and creepers."

MJ nodded at the only words he understood in their conversation. He was still fairly certain he was dreaming.

"Also, he's using 1950's American slang in a British accent- that error was removed in early Indev."

X nodded quickly. "You're right, I forgot about that."

"Can we all get to bed? We don't want phantoms killing MJ, who knows where he would respawn." Scar pulled out a couple beds, which hermits promptly hopped into.

"Phantoms? Why we gotta sleep? Are The Phantoms a gang?" MJ asked quickly as the rest of the hermits led him to the Stax-4-Stax Tavern.

"The longer you go without sleep, the more phantoms spawn, and they're deadly." Grian explained. "When was the last time you slept?"

"....never?" MJ watched the dark sky anxiously.

"Oh yeah... Let's get inside, quick!" Grian shoved him inside. The phantoms screeched, making Grian chuckle and MJ shudder.

—

The next morning, MJ was full of chaos and concern. Now fully rested for the first time in his life, he began to realize his situation. He anxiously danced around the small room of sleeping hermits for a few minutes, before he mustered enough courage to creep out the front door.

There was so much color in this strange world- even the grass looked different from what he knew. His head spun on a swivel as he took in everything he possibly could.

He started low, running his fingers through the long grass and smelling the colorful flowers scattered across the ground in front of the building. A chicken wandered across his path, so he decided to follow it wherever it went.

The chicken, followed by an intent MJ, meandered to the shore by the ocean, which MJ noted, was filled with seaweed and assorted swimming creatures.

As they wandered further inland, MJ drifted away from his chicken guide, stunned by the variety of blocks in the buildings towering around him. He poked his head into a red striped building, but ducked out just as quickly when he couldn't name the shiny blue rocks or cylinders in the wooden boxes.

As he stepped out, however, something shot over his head with a loud explosion, sending him to the floor in a panic. The creepers were in the air, too?

"Heya! Enjoying my store?" A man fell out of the sky holding one of the striped cylinders. His hair was golden and shimmered in the light, along with his bright red eyes. His ears and teeth were pointy, and his combat boots completed the intimidating look. "What are you doing on the ground?"

MJ glanced around carefully, motioning the man to crouch down next to him. "There are creepers flying around here!"

The man gave him a blank stare, then laughed, standing up again. "Oh man, that's priceless! You mean me? Using a rocket to fly?" He pulled out a so-called rocket, and it exploded in his face, sending MJ into another fit of shakes. "It's okay, they're harmless!"

"You can fly?" MJ asked cautiously, afraid the answer might include more explosions.

"Let me show you!" The man crouched down, preparing another rocket, but stopped when he saw MJ's petrified expression. "Well, maybe we should start smaller. How about the Cherry Store?"

The man, who MJ learned was named Tango, lead him patiently to another store, this one made of wood. Wood was more familiar to MJ, although this wood looked entirely different to what he was used to.

"Look, this stuff is called redstone," Tango explained, displaying a nicely packaged bag of redstone, ready to be purchased. "You can make lots of hardware with it, which you can use to make machines!"

MJ opened the bag, running his finger through the red dust. Some of it sparked, glowing slightly. "What can you make with the parts?"

"Well, you can start small with an automatic fish farm, or you can build an iron titan, or you can make something like Sahara! Let me show you, it's super cool!"

Excited again, Tango led the way to Sahara, a large building in the side of the hill. After showing MJ the interface, they staircased up to the second level to get a look at the modules.

"Iskall made all of these himself- crazy, right? Grian tried to help, but he's definitely the builder of the Architechs," Tango laughed.

MJ walked down an aisle, marveling at the large machines. They were made of small parts MJ couldn't name, but he knew they were made of redstone. It was all incredible, but MJ didn't understand a bit of it- he considered himself more of a builder anyway.

"Oi! Trespassers!" Grian, as MJ remembered from yesterday, soared through a broken window. He smoothed his wild sandy-blond hair, a wide grin across his face.

"Don't mind us! I'm just showing MJ around!" Tango waved.

"Oh! You should come see my base, MJ! It's super cool!" Grian bounced excitedly. He had a lot of energy, MJ gave him that. Not usually his cup of tea in friendships, but beggars can't be choosers.

"I'll leave you two to it then! Xisuma wanted me to work on some code with him today anyway. See ya!" Tango flew away with another explosion, causing MJ to jump.

"Hm, I suppose you're not much of a flyer, huh?" Grian observed. MJ simply shook his head. "Guess we'll boat over!"

MJ carefully stepped into the boat Grian made, with Grian clambering in after him. They rowed out into the bay, MJ watching as the shore faded into a shimmer at the horizon. "Here we are!"

MJ turned around and was stunned by the white building towering over them. Grian hopped out of the boat onto a glass bridge, motioning MJ to follow. He carefully did so, being sure his shoes were dry enough that he wouldn't slip.

"This is my base! Sorry it's kind of a mess, I have a chest monster problem," Grian giggled and soared down into the center of the tower. He rifled through a couple of the chests (as MJ had just learned they were called) and flew back to MJ with arms full of mysterious items. "Here's a starter kit!"

Grian tossed the items on the floor and sorted through them, giving MJ a run-down. "So that's full iron tools and armor, a stack of golden carrots, a stack of torches, and an elytra with rockets to get you started! Does that look alright to you?"

MJ nodded, entranced by the items- especially the strange golden carrots.

"...You don't talk much, do you?" Grian stared into his eyes. Despite his brown eyes being almost black, they sparkled with love and innocence.

MJ cleared his throat. "Ah, I guess I'm still feeling a lil buzzed from... however I got here." He shrugged, carefully picking up the gifted items.

Grian opened and closed his mouth several times, and then settled with a confused smile. It looked strange on his usually-energetic face. "Feel free to set up your base anywhere that's open. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to text anyone." He handed a small black box to MJ, which he held with reverence. "It's a phone- just press the name of who ever you wanna talk to."

"Thanks," MJ hesitated. "By chance are you a greaser? You don't have any beef, do ya?"

Grian cocked an eyebrow. "Maybe? You won't need any beef though, the golden carrots are way better for your health."

"...are you booted, dog?"

Grian blinked. "I think you have different slang in Classic, because I don't know what that means..."

"My bad. Just, nevermind. I'll leave ya to it. Thanks for the setup!" MJ, embarrassed, hopped in his boat and paddled off, avoiding eye contact with Grian. The guy was weird to say the least- MJ wondered if that was why he lived in the ocean alone. Hopefully he hadn't killed his reputation by talking to Grian, and he could find a more helpful person tomorrow...

#rae writes #blast from the past #grian #xisuma #hermitcraft #joe hills #docm #goodtimeswithscar #tangotek #mumbo jumbo #dont worry the 50's slang eases up a couple chapters in #lol

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bad-bitch-beauchamp · 4 years

Text

Songs About Me: Chapter Five

Thanks for your continued support for these sweet artsy bairns! Here’s the next installment! I read all of your kind comments and they mean the absolute world to me.

READ ON AO3

Louisburg Square, Beacon Hill, Boston

Claire was just walking up to the picturesque green of Louisburg Square, where her townhouse sat facing the gardens, when her phone began an incessant buzzing. She had her hands full after stopping at the market for dinner staples (otherwise known as a box of Velveeta Shells & Cheese). She was fumbling with her purse and muttering a not-so-quiet “Shit,” when she dropped her keys on the porch. When she stooped lower to get the keys, more toiletries from the market spilled onto the ground and rolled down the steps while her phone continued to buzz. “Oh fuck it all to hell… Oh hello, Mr. Grant!” Claire’s next door neighbor was a kind man, but always appeared perplexed -- whether by her uncontrollable hair, clothes splattered with dirt from the shop, or simply by wondering how she came to be the owner of one of the most coveted real estate properties in New England, Claire would never know.

“Hello dear. Are you alright over there?” His brow was knit as Claire shoved her scattered belongings back into their various bags all while muttering under her breath as to not offend the old man’s sensibilities. She stood, and realized he had most definitely already heard her vocabulary choices.

“Oh, I’m fine, just one of those days!” One of those days where you fall head over heels for the strange guy you met last night and then all your shit falls on the sidewalk because your brain is short-circuiting.

“Well as always, if you need anything, I’m just here and happy to help.”

“Thank you! One day I’ll absolutely take you up on it -- I’m usually less of a mess!” She tried to joke it off, but it sounded a little too much like she was trying to justify herself to neighbor, and herself.

Mr. Grant smiled. “Of course, dear. Ah, you seem to be very popular today!”

Claire’s phone went off for at least the fifth time. She tried to reign in her annoyance, said her goodbyes to the man, and using her foot to kick a back of groceries inside the doorway finally made it inside. She dug around her bag for the phone ready to lash out at whatever telemarketer couldn’t take a hint, but stopped.

Two missed phone calls, four missed texts. The caller left a voicemail for each call. She pressed play on the earlier one.

“Hi Sassenach, uh, Claire, I guess I should call ye Claire since that’s yer name, huh? Shit. Hold on… Okay, let me start over. Hello Claire, this is Jamie. James. James Fraser? From the bookshop and the karaoke, ye ken? Of course she kens, ye damn eedjit… Me! Not you! Oh god this is literally the worst call I’ve ever made in my life. Fuck it, I’m just going to try again.” The voicemail abruptly ended. Claire was in stitches at his earnest attempt to just talk to her. At least he wasn’t lying when she heard him say she wouldn’t have to wait long at all for message from him. She pressed play on the second voicemail.

“Hello Claire, I hope this message finds ye well. It was verra nice to see ye today at my shop. It may be the cool, relaxed thing tae do would be to not call ye right away, but ye make me feel anything but cool and relaxed and under control. Ye make me feel… like there’s something different between us, mo nighean donn. As I told ye in the shop, I dinna think I can wait another week to see ye. If you would do me the honor of saying yes, I would verra much like to take ye out for dinner and drinks. Or anything ye wanted to do, really. Dinner and drinks was just my idea… okay I think I’m getting flustered again so I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. Okay thanks, talk to you soon hopefully, bye. Oh, and this is Jamie Fraser.”

Her laughter had died out the moment he said how she made him feel. Is that really how he felt about her? Did he mean it? Claire had a feeling that Jamie Fraser from the bookshop and the karaoke, ye ken didn’t ever say things he didn’t mean. She fell into the couch facing the big bay window, and breathed. Her breath came in heavy, her heartbeats fast. Her thoughts were swirling and her mind racing and everything felt light around here. A little breathlessly, she opened her text app to a number she didn’t recognize.

[+16178256192]: Hello Claire, this is James Fraser from Fraser Literature and from karaoke last night at The 21st Amendment.

Claire actually laughed out loud now. As if she could forget who he was! He had turned her world upside down at the bar, she sang in his shop, she gave him her phone number less than an hour ago! She added his number to her contacts before reading his following texts.

[Jamie]: Okay that was weirdly formal, sorry

[Jamie]: Could ye do me a favor and just delete the first voicemail?

[Jamie]: I was hoping we could maybe set up a time for the date I mentioned earlier at the shop? I would really like to see ye again before next week.

[Jamie]: And maybe before we have to hang out with the Spanish Inquisition. ;)

Claire laughed through her nose at that last one; apparently, Jamie had been grilled about their relationship? Interaction? by Rupert and Angus like Claire had been by Joe and Geillis. She reread all the messages he’d sent her before responding.

[Claire]: Hello James Fraser, owner of Fraser Literature and karaoke. I do indeed remember and even if I didn’t, you’ve reminded me several times in your many incessant texts/voicemails. ;)

Three dots immediately popped up, disappeared, popped up, and a next text appeared.

[Jamie]: I told ye to delete the first voicemail! You weren’t supposed to hear my rambling!

[Claire]: Uh huh, seems likely. ;) Maybe I have a super power that renders you useless around me?

[Jamie]: Well lass you're not far off.

[Jamie]: How’s about that date? What are you doing tonight?

[Claire]: Lol, you’re not tired of seeing my face yet?

[Jamie]: Not yet, not ever.

[Jamie]: Sooooooooo, dinner? ;)

Eventually, they decided on a little Italian place close to Claire’s place. Claire paced around the upstairs bedroom, trying out an outfit only to rip it off and throw it in a pile on the floor. She’d walk to the bathroom, evaluate her look, give a deep breath out her nose, and was now at the point of yelling about how she had no clothes. But, she remembered. In a garment bag at the back of her closet hung a blood-orange dress. A square neckline gave way to a triangle dip in the middle, the hem came just to the middle of her thigh with a cinched waistline.. She smiled, sadly. The last time she wore the dress, she was still in med school. Frank had asked her out to “a dinner with a few medical friends” and promised she could make a few connections to help her down the road. Claire ended up discarded at the door until Frank needed to show her off to a classmate or professor or colleague. She learned he hadn’t told anyone she was also studying medicine, telling her he “wanted to let you stand on your own, darling.” The last time she had worn that dress, she realized she wouldn’t resign herself to a life of being second-best to her partner, to a group of strangers, or to anyone. Tonight was the perfect time to remind herself she was taking things into her own hands yet again -- with Jamie at her side. Her smile turned genuine, and she pulled it off the hanger.

-- -- --

Jamie knew this was unusual. Claire wasn’t the first girl he’d ever been interested in, but if he had any choice in the matter, she would be the last one. Rationally, he should’ve been talking himself out of planning a future with the girl from the bar, but he couldn’t help himself. When he was in high school in Scotland, he kissed a girl who smelled like hairspray and spun sugar and he didn’t like that at all. He kissed a few lasses before rugby games and they’d tell him it was all for good luck. He enjoyed them (didn’t every red-blooded teenage boy enjoy kisses before sports games?), but enjoyment was the extent of it. In college, he had met Annalise. She was smart and kind and lovely, and so bonny. She’d loved his family, loved him. And he had loved her, too. Their relationship started after their first year at school when they became close friends and confidants. She was truly one of the best friends he’d ever had, outside of the lads. When he said he was leaving Scotland to pursue his dreams in the states, she said she was being “abandoned”. Jamie considered asking her to come with him to build a life, but reconsidered. After many long conversations, many tears, many honest words… they had decided their relationship was based in comfort. They loved each other, there was no doubt about that. They loved each other because of their close friendship, their proximity to each other at school, their families’ friendship that developed because of their own. When Jamie confronted Annalise about his realization that he would forever be grateful for her, but didn’t see a romantic future together, she had cried and told him she was so happy -- she felt the same. They split amicably and continued to call and text when they could. Friendships like theirs didn’t just dissipate.

With Claire, things felt… different. Emotional, raw, honest, profound. It felt like something he couldn’t quite place. Something he didn’t have words for. The mere thought of her made his pulse quicken, made his breath catch in his chest. Their connection last night at the bar, their physical connection at the bookshop (god, how it felt to be touched by her…) , their easy banter over text, and then when she gave him her address… he had to sit down. He knew her address exactly. He’d passed it every time he went home, or went to work, or went anywhere at all. She lived in Louisburg Square, across the garden and just to the right of a place he knew intimately. She lived across the garden and just to the right, of his place. They were neighbors. He never knew. He thought back to telling her how they must have just been missing each other for years, but god, he never knew how close they really were.

Jamie finished tying up his leather boots and took a look in the mirror. Hair brushed back, curls falling at his neck, a light blue button-up, a leather jacket. Not too bad. Still not good enough for her, though. He tugged at the neck of his shirt, and left his townhouse. He made his way up his side of the square, and stopped not ten feet up the sidewalk. He saw her. From the second floor, Claire was illuminated by soft light in the window, gauzy curtains framing her. He could only watch in awe as her head tilted to the side to fit an earring to her ear. She reached for a brush and started to comb out a curl. Jamie sighed contentedly when he noticed her hair was still down, curled around her face, wild as ever. Claire gave up with the brush and settled herself to smoothing down creases in her wee dress with delicate hands. Hands that had touched him, healed him, had literally written her name over his heart. She was... ethereal. Tearing his eyes away from the window, he managed to send her a message:

[Jamie]: On my way there Sassenach

[Claire]: No worries, take your time. See you soon!

Jamie rounded the center garden and up to her steps. The light from the window was still glowing, but he could no longer see her. One more text:

[Jamie]: Just outside

He walked up the steps, raised his knuckles to the brass knocker, and paused. First step to forever… His phone buzzed.

[Claire]: I thought I said to take your time? ;) seriously, how’d you get here so fast? Just a sec and I’ll be down!

He did knock then, answered her text to say there was no rush, he wasn’t going anywhere. Behind the door he heard a literal run down the stairs and he stifled a chuckle. There was a jingle of keys, a fairly loud, “Shit!” as the keys hit the floor, a scuttle of shoes around the entry, and the door opened.

Here we go, lad.

#songs about me fic #in which tessaactually tries fan fic #outlander fan fic #outlander fan fiction #jamie x claire #the frasers #jamie fraser #claire beauchamp

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