Happy Birthday!
Olivia Dunham x fem!reader
*gif is mine* <3 (look at how pretty Liv is)
summary: Olivia never liked her birthday, you knew it very well. But that didn't mean you couldn't do something special for her.
warnings: a lil bit of angst, mention of violence, mention of abuse, guns, spicy things towards the end (no smut tho 'cause I'm too embarrassed), bad grammar bc English is not my first language. Feel free to tell me if I should add more!
author's note: I wrote this because I just started watching Fringe and because I hate my birthday too and Olivia's speech about why she doesn't like her birthday made my heart shatter. I'm also basing this on what I know about season one since it's the only one I've watched so far (so please don't spoil it for me!).
Sorry if I put this under Tess' hashtags, but I thought it would reach a wider audience since Olivia x Reader ffs are basically non-existent.
Enjoy <3
Olivia's body tensed when she heard the doorbell, her eyes immediately shot up to the door and then again at the card she was holding in her trembling hands. She took the gun that was still in her holster and pointed it towards the door, before moving slowly to the apartment entrance.
"Hey, Liv. It's me!"
Your voice echoed through the other side of the door and Olivia immediately relaxed, her heart rate now calming down. She dropped her hands dramatically to either side of her body and sighed in relief as she opened the door to her apartment.
Your smile was wider than ever when you saw the blonde woman in front of you, but it was quickly replaced with a frown of confusion when your eyes landed to the gun she was still holding in her right hand.
"Is everything okay?" She furrowed her brows in confusion, not understanding immediately what you were talking about, but at soon as she followed where your eyes were glued to, she raised her brows in awareness.
"Yeah." She responded nonchalantly with a shrug, placing the gun on the forniture near the entrance. "Do you want to come in?"
"That's exactly why I passed by, Liv." You chuckled, taking a few steps in the apartment you knew very well.
"Speaking of, what brings you here?" She politely asked you. Her arms wrapped around herself, still feeling a little shaken by what happened before you showed up.
You simply raised the bag you were holding in your hand and smiled excitingly. The smell of lasagna made Olivia's mouth water immediately. "Happy birthday!"
"Y/N, you know I don't celebrate." She grunted in response and headed towards the kitchen, hurrying herself to throw the card that made her so unsteady in the trash can.
"After all these years working together you never told me why you don't like your birthday." You sighed following her in the kitchen before passing her the bag. "I've know you for longer than Peter does, but for some reasons you seem to trust him more." You said the last sentence full of bitterness and a hint of jealousy, thing that Olivia didn't seem to notice, too occupied searching for the cutlery.
"I do trust you." She assured you, placing two forks on the kitchen counter. Her green eyes were piercing into yours, silently begging you to drop the subject. "I just don't want to talk about it."
"Yeah, but it looks like you want to talk about it with Peter." You couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of your mouth, making Olivia scoff.
"What's the deal with you and him?" She asked, forrowing her eyebrows. She never understood the cold and angry glances you throw the two of them everytime he was in the same room as you and Olivia. Did you have feelings for him and Olivia was only getting in the way? "If you like him—"
"I don't like Peter. That's absurd!" You couldn't believe Olivia was so oblivious of your feelings towards her. She was smart, brilliant, she always noticed little details that could even escape Broyles' watchful eyes, yet she didn't notice the long glances you would give her, the hugs that lasted a little too long to be only platonic or the times you would kiss her head whenever she was stressed. But could you really blame her? She didn't even know you liked girls in the first place, how could she ever think you liked her?
"Listen, it's your birthday," she opened her mouth to interrupt you, but you were quick to keep talking. "and as much as you don't like it, it's too late to go back now. I'm not asking you to throw a party last minute, but I'm here now and I just want to spend some time with my best friend, so let's eat and chat a little bit, at least."
She bit her lips looking at her shoes, both her hands placed on either side of her hips, contemplating if she should take the offer of not. When her eyes landed on you and saw the hopeful expression on your face, she knew her answer would be yes. She couldn't say no to you, no matter what kind of absurdity you suggested or how much of a pain in the ass you could be from time to time. She just cared that much about you that saying no was physically impossible to her. Besides, what could some time with you, the person she cared about the most, do?
Your eyes enlightened when she gave you a smile, accompanied by a light nod of her head. You hugged her tightly and placed a series of swift kisses on her temple, muttering "thank yous" between each kiss. When she shrugged you off with an annoyed yet playful sigh, you took the plates now full of the lasagna and made your way over the couch, followed by Olivia, which had two glasses in one hand, the wine bottle in the other, and a pathetic smile on her face.
"I hate you." She scoffed rolling her eyes, making you smirk. She didn't mean it not even in the slightest and you knew it.
You chuckled, making yourself comfortable on your usual place in the couch, then you took a bite of the food.
"No, you don't, Liv."
~
You and Olivia were laughing and chatting for God knows how long, talking about everything and nothing. Plates now empty and the wine bottle almost finished. "And then he fell on his butt!" You snort with laughter, telling Olivia a funny anecdote about Charlie of when you worked on a case with him.
"Yep, that sounds like something Charlie would do." She laughed loudly, taking a sip of her wine.
Olivia had to admit she needed that company, specially your company.
For the past few weeks you've been distant to her. She blamed it on Astrid. She was happy you were finally bonding with her, not really having the chance despite working with her and Olivia for so long, but now you two were… too close. At least, too close for Olivia's liking. She didn't know what it was, she couldn't put a finger on the gut wrenching feeling she felt anytime Astrid would whisper something in your ear and you would blush like crazy. And why on Earth did that girl feel the need to always be by your side like you had some sort of magnetic field around you?
Olivia couldn't think of a more reasonable answer than a very obvious crush on Astrid, but little did she know the only reason your cheeks burnt everytime Astrid would whisper something in your ear was because she was teasing you about your crush on the blonde woman and the reason why she would always be by your side was because she insisted you asked Olivia out, but the only thing she received by you in return was a firm and cold look.
Her racing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bottle hitting slightly your glass. Olivia observed you, she observed how your hand gripped loosely the glass, how the rings adorning your fingers tapped against the glass whenever you would touch it, she observed how you briefly closed your eyes, tasting the wine lingering on your toungue. She wanted to take you in as long as possible before you'd noticed she was staring. And to avoid the embarassment she would feel if you did notice, she spoke.
"Thank you."
Your gaze met hers and your heart jumps in response at the adoration you could see in her green orbs. "For what?"
"For not leaving me alone today."
Your features softened at her confession and you stroked her arm slightly, thing that you always did when you could feel her distress.
"I'm sorry for being so annoying about your birthday." You sighed, looking at the glass in your hand. "I guess I wanted to do something nice for you because I know how it feels like not liking your birthday."
Olivia tilted her head in both curiosity and confusion as she leaned closer to take a better look at your sudden serious expression. "What do you mean?"
"When I was a kid my parents would throw these big parties for my birthday and it was all so perfect, all my friends of school would come and I'd get a lot of presents." Your confession made Olivia raise her eyebrow, not quite understanding what was so negative about it. When you saw her confused expression, you went on with your explanation. You must look so pathetic right now. "I know, it doesn't sound bad, 'cause it wasn't, it really wasn't. I'm so grateful for those moments." You smiled bitterly knowing that you were still attached to the past. "But as I grew up I had less and less friends because people hurt me and betrayed me, so I would spend my birthday alone. My parents didn't even care. My father would just wish me a happy birthday and then fall asleep and my mother would watch tv all the time. Not even asking me to join her." You sighed in frustration at the memory, taking another sip of your wine, which almost made you choke when Olivia stroked your hair in compassion. You cleared your throat to desguise your nervousness. "Uhm, anyway… I get it. I get that birthdays can be either the best memories you have or the worst."
Olivia had this unreadable expression on her face, she was just looking at you, her hand still caressing your scalp. You almost could see pity in her features, thing that you hated because you didn't need that and she knew it, but there was something hidden in it, you felt like she was contemplating about what to say. Like she had this war inside her deciding if confessing what she wanted to confess was okay or not. Then she shifted on the couch, her body facing you better now and your knees touching. Your breath almost hitched at how close she was.
"I had a stepfather. When he drank, he'd accuse my mom of seeing other men, and then he'd hit her. And she just lived with it. She never called the police, not once." Olivia confessed, her voice low and harsh as she recalled the events of when she was little. "And then one day, he beat her really bad and broke her nose. I was nine."
"Liv, you don't have to—"
"He stormed out of the house, got in his car, drove off. And my mom's cry, I can't help her. And then I hear his car. He's turned back around. He kept a gun in the drawer, near his bed. When he opened the door, I pulled the trigger. And then I pulled it again. And I can still see his face… almost daring me to finish. But I couldn't." She swallowed hard before licking her lips, regretting her sudden confession. Not because she didn't trust you, but because talking about it only reminded her that she couldn't escape her past, no matter how hard she tried. The card tossed in the trash just a few metres away from where she was sitting was the proof. But she knew she could trust you. It was you, her Y/N. The one who hold her tight when John died, the one who whispered sweet nothings in her ears after his funeral, the one who saw the worst side of her. So she kept talking, she felt like she owed you.
"So they took him to the hospital and said that he couldn't be saved… but he didn't die. He recovered." You could noticed that hint of resentment and bitterness in her voice, and you couldn't really blame her. "Then one night, he just slipped away. We never saw him again. I still blame myself, because I should have done it. I should have killed him."
"Olivia, that was not your responsibility." You assured her but she scoffed, finishing what was left of her wine. You looked at her and dared to ask her a question that was tormenting you. "Where is he now?"
Olivia bit the inside of her cheeks, contemplating if she was safe telling you the truth or not. If she should or shouldn't let her walls down so easily. She opted for the first option. It was just you. "Every year, he sends me a card on my birthday… just to let me know that he's still out there."
"He sent you another this year, didn't he?" You asked, already knowin the answer giving the fear she was trying to hide in her hard features.
She gave you a small nod, glancing over the kitchen. Her eyes were full of anger and pain. You now realised why she was so tense when she opened the door.
You placed your hand on her knee, caressing it sweetly to bring her at least a bit of comfort. She looked at your hand for a brief moment, then she took it in hers, caressing the back of it with her thumb. The sudden affection made your cheeks burn and your palms sweat. But you recovered quickly as you thought of a proper response. What could you possibly say? You knew she didn't like her birthday, but you never imagined it was for something like… that.
"Well… you beat me, Liv." You said in an attempt to lighten up the mood. "Your reason to hate birthdays is far worse than mine."
She chuckled lightly at that and gave you a small nod, grateful you weren't pitying her. "See? I'm justified."
"Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it mustn't be easy for you, so I'm grateful you trusted me enough with this." You smiled as you squeezed her hand for a moment. "You don't deserve what happened to you. You're the most generous, compassionate and cunning person I know and I'm so grateful for all the sweet gestures you reserve to me and all the secrets you trust me to keep. They are the most precious thing I own. You are the most precious thing I have in my life, Liv."
Olivia awes softly at you, a warm feeling spread through her, a warmt she hasn't felt since John died. Then it hit her; she liked you and now she was sure you liked her, too. Now she understood the harsh glance you gave Peter wasn't because you liked him, but because you liked her. She knew it because those were the same glances she gave Astrid when she would lean too close to… you.
Fuck, she really did like you.
The dramatic "people say I'm distracted and crazy, yet I'm the one not so oblivious here" followed by the exasperated sighs Walter let out anytime he would notice the blonde woman looking at you made sense now.
Olivia let out a breathy laugh and shook her head, eyes flicking to your lips. "I can't believe I didn't realise it sooner."
You stared at her with a puzzled expression and a mouth slightly open, not really understanding where was that coming from. "What do you mean?"
A verbal answer never came, instead she leaned in, kissing you deeply and slowly. It took you a few seconds to register what was going on, but when you did you melted into the kiss and pulled her close.
Olivia sighed contently into your mouth, giving you the confidence to rest both of your hands on her waist, gripping her firmly. You felt her run her tongue on your lower lip, and you part your lips to allow her tongue access to your mouth. The whimper you let out made Olivia's mind spin as she instinctively grabbed you by the collar and her kisses became more desperate.
As much as you both didn't want to, you broke the kiss to get some air. You took that as an opportunity to lean your forehead against hers, savouring the moment a little longer. You were both panting against each other mouths, so you catched her lips once more before cupping her check softly. You stare into her eyes with lust and desire, but most importantly love.
You were so addicted to her you felt like the strongest drug on Earth couldn't compete with how Olivia, your Olivia, could intoxicate you in the best way possible. If there was a way to detoxify, you sure as hell wouldn't even give it a try.
Your hands reached the buttons of her blouse, revealing a black-laced bra, your mouth watering at the sight.
She smirked at how your body reacted around her. Her teeth pulling sweetly at your bottom lip. "I guess I was wrong about Peter then, uh?"
You laughed heartily at that, stopping your movements for a second. "You idiot."
Then she captured your lips in hers once more, grinding against your hips. Her eyes fluttering close as she let out a gasp.
Maybe celebrating her birthday wasn't as bad as Olivia thought.
*
Thank you for reading, people! I hope you enjoyed this little idea I had in mind. I'm contemplating about writing something else about Olivia but I'm not entirely sure!
Either way, see you next time! <3
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with RivkaT
RivkaT has 28 stories at Gossamer and 270 stories at AO3, so she knows her way around fanfic and fandom. She's also a co-author of one of the most well-known X-Files fics of all time, Iolokus. I've recced that here before, along with some of my other favorites of her stories, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon and Into the Woods. Big thanks to RivkaT for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
I think it's amazing! Writing styles have changed so much, along with everything else, that it's really nice to know they're still being visited. I tried to show my son the pilot episode, and it didn't move him at all, but it's good to know it's not forgotten.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
I made a number of good friends, and had my first taste of bitter fandom battles. I made dumb mistakes and, I hope, learned a bit about navigating fandom spaces. My long-time writing partner MustangSally taught me that it was always worth blowing the budget in writing--go over the top if you want. I put that to good use in my next big fandom (Smallville).
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
I started on Usenet! Then mailing lists, and webrings, but mainly the Gossamer list.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
(1) Serials are different than works posted all at once, and have different strengths and weaknesses. (2) There are many ways to write a good fic, and somewhat fewer (but still a large number of) ways to write a bad one. (3) Most good fics are bad to some readers, and many bad fics are good to some readers, and that's okay. (4) Summaries can often instruct many readers how a work is meant to be perceived, especially if they already know you as a writer--the importance of authorial intent is clearly not dead and may be unkillable! (5) Fandom has awfulness and greatness in it because fans are people.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
Dana Scully. Enough said! (Ok, it was Jose Chung's From Outer Space specifically, but Scully generally.)
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
I mentioned to a friend that I was really into the show and she said that if I went online there were people writing stories about the characters. I knew about fanfic from childhood fannishness (Star Trek etc.) and so I went looking on this vaguely-understood thing, the internet. At the time I didn't have a computer that ran Windows so I logged onto Usenet at home and used Pine and Mosaic (an early search engine). When I wanted to see pictures I had to go to the computer lab at school.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
An ex where I don't have too much memory of the bitter and drawn-out breakup and just have vague nostalgia for the good times. Of course all that was about the show, not the fandom!
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
A bunch, including BTVS, Smallville, and Supernatural. I loved them all--my relationships with those fandoms were equally intense, but associated with different times in my life and therefore different availability of time and other resources. I wish I had that new-fandom love again, but right now it's just not happening for me, even though I've experimented.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
Dana Scully, because she is Dana Scully: smart, driven, and good at her job, with occasional daddy issues. Subsequently, Lex Luthor, Olivia Dunham, Dean Winchester. I like characters who are driven by a sense of mission and who are really good at their jobs: competence porn!
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
Not very often; I last did a rewatch about thirteen years ago.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I rarely revisit the XF, but I could definitely be persuaded. I read a fair amount across various fandoms now, but mostly it's dabbling.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Waaaay too many to mention. But if I had to choose: Jane Mortimer's The Sin Eater. Totally blew my mind about what fic could do. [Lilydale note: it really is a great fic!]
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
I go through patches of love and hate for my own work. Right now I might pick my SPN/Smallville crossover Under Darkening Skies because I had fun with the character voices and I got at least one great set piece out of it (mannequins in a hell dimension).
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
It seems unlikely but I have learned never to say never.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
For the past few years it's mostly been Yuletide, but I'd love to get back into it more if I can be inspired.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
I have no idea! Usually it was something that bugged me about an episode, or a chance to play with a classic trope, or a random news story that would spark an idea.
What's the story behind your pen name?
Not much of one--it's a variant of my nickname that was available on AOL and I managed to snag it on most platforms fans use, which has been lucky!
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
Most of my friends are fannish and know everything; my family knows generally but basically doesn't want to know specifics, which is fine with me.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
Archive of Our Own.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
Dana Scully Forever!
(Posted by Lilydale on August 18, 2020)
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