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becomewings · 4 years

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The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>

BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 3 / 4

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Introduction

The following sections for JiMin’s and HoSeok’s arcs are 4.5k and 4k, respectively. As with pt.2 of the series, I have included “tl;dr commentary” at the bottom of the post after a section of additional thoughts. This commentary summarizes the parenthetical asides I made throughout the summaries and may be of interest as standalone reading to those who have already played the game yet would like to review its connections to the BU texts and MVs.

Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD

This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media

Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission

Stopped Time

SeokJin’s primary goal in JiMin’s story is to free him from the hospital psychiatric ward to which his parents have him committed before he gives up on life. Much like his sudden, unexplained absence in The Notes 1, JiMin is not even present in the first two episodes except for an introductory cutscene. In a hospital hallway on an unspecified date, he plays on the colored tiles and stops when he reaches “the line” by the exit door. (This line marks the end of the psychiatric ward and is first described in his 11 May Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.) Everything goes black except for JiMin and the door. A nurse taps him on the shoulder, bringing him back to reality, and hands him pills.

The playable story begins on 22 April Year 22 with SeokJin attending a meeting organized by the patrons of the Songho Foundation. Seo HyunJung, the city’s Deputy Mayor, suggested it to SeokJin’s father, Kim ChangJun, at the inauguration ceremony. (SeokJin attends the inauguration ceremony on 11 April in many loops; it plays out in episode 2 of JungKook’s arc.) SeokJin scans over the crowd, reflecting that while the pretext of the meeting is to discuss community development, in reality it is a social gathering to advance individual careers. These sessions make him uncomfortable, but this time he is attending of his own accord with the intention of meeting someone.

This someone is a woman who actually approaches him first, introducing herself as Sim SeonMi. SeokJin knows that she is JiMin’s mother. He has met her in previous loops but needs to pretend that this is their first time meeting. His goal is to bring up JiMin naturally and persuade her to discharge him from the hospital. Before he can broach the subject, the high school principal, Jo JinMyung, joins them. SeokJin uses his arrival as an opportunity to bring up school and guide the conversation toward JiMin by first asking if they know each other. “We’ve met a few times at gatherings. I was told her child used to be a student at our school,” answers Jo JinMyung. “Ah, really? I attended Jeil High too,” says SeokJin. Sim SeonMi looks taken aback, and he asks for her child’s name. She tries to avoid the question by saying that they probably won’t know each other due to their age gap, but when pressed again she relents. “His name is Park JiMin.” “I know JiMin! We were close. Is JiMin doing okay?” SeokJin responds brightly, wondering if she will provide an empty lie. Instead, she excuses herself with the claim that she needs to greet someone else.

SeokJin quickly wraps up with the principal and begins to casually approach her again. He stops when he overhears two women mention her name. “There’s no gathering she doesn’t attend these days. Looks like her husband’s star is on the rise, thanks to her efforts…” The player has the choice to listen quietly or butt in. If SeokJin stands by, they speculate that she was invited because her husband’s company is one of the patrons. If he interrupts, they caution him to stay away from her. In both routes, SeokJin learns that Sim SeonMi doesn’t have the best reputation and that rumors of her hospitalized son are spreading. Their blame on her helps explain what underlay her hysteric responses in previous loops.

Though it’s uncomfortable, SeokJin reapproaches her when she is alone. She greets him a little coldly. “You don’t have to be so formal to me. I’m JiMin’s friend,” he assures. “Is that so? How friendly you are.” Sim SeonMi smiles awkwardly and keeps looking elsewhere as though for an escape. “It would’ve been nice if JiMin’s father was here… He’ll join me another time, so you can say hello to him then.” “Yes. I’ll make sure to bring my father along then,” SeokJin replies, hoping to snag her attention. Her eyes change at the mention of his father. “Shall we do that, then? It’ll be even better with the Assemblyman.” SeokJin brings up JiMin again by either asking if he still attends Jeil High or how he’s doing. Her uneasy answers are “These days? Yes… Of course” or “...He’s fine,” respectively. SeokJin requests JiMin’s phone number, rendering her silent for a long moment. “That’s a bit difficult. I’m not sure I can give out JiMin’s contact information without his approval.” SeokJin attempts to convince her by stating that they were close friends in school yet lost contact when he studied abroad. But all he gets from her is, “Then I’ll ask JiMin, and make sure to contact you if he says it’s okay.” Sim SeonMi taps him on the shoulder and quickly walks away.

By 25 April, SeokJin still hasn’t heard from JiMin’s mother, so he decides to visit her and reveal that he knows JiMin was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric ward. Uncle JunHo, his father’s secretary, intercepts him before he leaves the house and asks where he’s going. SeokJin either answers that he is heading to school or meeting a friend to work on assignments. He declines a ride from JunHo in the first path but can’t conjure an excuse to not accept in the second. In both, JunHo comments that it’s not easy being the family of a public official and that he noticed SeokJin engaged in a long conversation with Sim SeonMi at the meeting. SeokJin explains that she is his friend’s mother, and JunHo advises him not to get too friendly with her because she doesn’t have a great reputation. In the second path, he also adds information about JiMin’s father that catches SeokJin’s attention because he has not heard anything about the man. Apparently Park JinWook is one of the foundation’s board members. ‘He’s pretty remarkable. He entered as a researcher and became a board member… The one thing that people like him want most is connections,” JunHo muses. He cautions SeokJin to “be wary of any advances [he] can see the intent of.”

The scene cuts to the exterior of an apartment building after SeokJin has either driven himself or been dropped off nearby by JunHo. He considers the public assessment of JiMin’s mother: she works hard to elevate her husband’s status but ignores her own son in favor of the family’s reputation. Sim SeonMi happens to step outside before SeokJin enters the building. She looks wary when he says, “I haven’t heard from you, so I decided to come see you myself.” In an effort to persuade her, SeokJin begins with either “I want to see JiMin” or “I came to see you because I know everything.” In the first path, she lies about not getting in touch with JiMin yet because he is studying abroad in the U.S. SeokJin is stunned by this egregious falsehood. “From what I’ve heard… JiMin’s locked up in a hospital. He’s at the Gyeong Il Hospital, isn’t he?” A similar reaction occurs in the second path from the point of SeokJin mentioning the hospital. Sim SeonMi hardens and objects to the phrase “locked up,” stating that JiMin is an inpatient because he is sick. “SeokJin, I appreciate that you’re worried about JiMin… But I’m his mother, and that means I know what’s best for him.” The paths converge as she tries to leave, claiming they have nothing left to discuss. Persuading her to release JiMin from the hospital seems impossible. “I’ll look into it on my own. I’m going to see JiMin, no matter how hard you try to stop me,” SeokJin warns. Sim SeonMi glares at him, voice low and cold. “‘SeokJin. If I can give you a word of advice… Adults have reasons for everything they do. You should forget about this.”

The beginning of episode 3 visits JiMin’s perspective on 27 April. He has relocated temporarily to the surgical ward due to an injured wrist. After treatment, he returns to his hospital room to find his mother arranging some items she brought. JiMin approaches nervously, wondering if she thinks he has caused a problem again. “It doesn’t look too bad, thankfully,” she remarks, glancing at his wrist. Her concern is unfamiliar yet welcome. “Do you know a Kim SeokJin? He said he attended Jeil High.” The mention of SeokJin surprises JiMin, but he tries to answer passively because of her angry tone. “Yes, but why are you suddenly ask—” “Did you contact him?” Sim SeonMi interrupts, halting her organizing to stare at him. “Why are you so immature? Do you ever think of anyone outside of here?” Injury throbbing, JiMin doesn’t know how to respond. “If you want to leave, tell me why you’re doing this. Tell me instead of embarrassing me by contacting some random person! Is that why you hurt your wrist? To rebel?” she demands. JiMin tries to explain this isn’t true, but she doesn’t listen. “I’m really tired, too. How many years has it been? How long do I have to suffer because of you?” Sim SeonMi leaves, the rant having done little to expend her anger. JiMin knows that her worries are pointed at herself, not at him; he is someone who makes life harder for her. He decides not to talk about anything else because he doesn’t want to make things even more difficult for her.

The story cuts to SeokJin loitering outside Gyeong Il Hospital, mulling over what action to take since JiMin is moving out of the surgical ward that day. (The date is unspecified in the game, but in The Notes 1, he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward on 16 May.) SeokJin knows that he will be the first suspect if JiMin disappears now and that he must act carefully since he was unable to persuade JiMin’s mother. As the day grows dark, he spots Sim SeonMi rushing into the hospital on her second visit. SeokJin hurries after her, worried that something happened to JiMin. The panicked voices of a medical team emerge from JiMin’s room. Doctors crowd around someone laying on the bed. “No, JiMin!” SeokJin hears Sim SeonMi scream followed by the sound of shattering glass.

The loop resets, and the game rejoins SeokJin on 10 May standing at a road and reflecting on the last failure. “If JiMin isn’t saved while he’s in the surgical ward, he makes his choice days after he returns to the closed ward. But it happened too quickly this time. What pushed him?” he wonders. He recalls Sim SeonMi’s final words before the loop ended. “No, JiMin! I’m sorry. I was wrong! You can see your friends; you can do anything you want… So please, open your eyes!” SeokJin realizes that he may have caused Sim SeonMi to act out of the ordinary, which in turn affected JiMin’s choice. It’s his fault, and he made JiMin suffer more. He thinks, “Even though I’ve experienced losing my friends before… No matter how many times it repeats… It never gets any easier.” SeokJin decides to abandon persuading JiMin’s mother to avoid provoking her and reverts his plan to sneaking JiMin out like in earlier loops. But first, he must focus on a more pressing issue—rescuing HoSeok after he collapses on the bridge that day.

After a cut, HoSeok awakens in SeokJin’s car and is shocked to see him. “Wow, is it really you? How long has it been?” “Lean on me for a bit longer. You didn’t hurt yourself when you fell?” SeokJin checks. HoSeok assures him that he’s all right and asks how SeokJin saw him. When SeokJin says he was just passing by, HoSeok remarks, “Wow! That’s so weird. Thanks for saving me.” It’s the first time SeokJin has heard something like this. He remembers JiMin in a previous loop telling him, “This is where I should be.” Does JiMin really want to leave the hospital? SeokJin believed that he did, but now he’s less confident. “HoSeok. If you had someone in front of you who wanted to die because living was too difficult… What would you do?” he asks. HoSeok answers without hesitation, “Well, I would help them.” “Even if that person doesn’t want my help?” says SeokJin. “ Isn’t helping them the right thing to do? Even if you don’t know why they want to die… They need to keep living for something to change,” HoSeok muses.

SeokJin drops HoSeok off at Two Star Burger before returning to the hospital alone, his friend’s words sticking with him. Even though JiMin isn’t guaranteed to be happy when he leaves the hospital, he needs to stay alive to have even the opportunity for happiness. Still uncertain how to proceed, SeokJin heads to the hospital lounge to organize his thoughts before visiting JiMin. Through an open door, he spots JiMin trudging down a hallway. SeokJin either calls out to him or watches him, but the latter is the result regardless because JiMin doesn’t hear him in the first path. JiMin stares at the door as people come and go and eventually returns to his room.

On 7 May, JiMin roams the hallways of the 5th floor surgical ward. He was moved there about ten days earlier after he ran into someone and fell. The surgical ward is not too different from the psychiatric one: the hallway is a little longer, and it has a lounge in the middle. But the freedom to move around in this space brings him joy that he doesn’t have in the psychiatric ward. He even wanders around at night when no one is around and dances in the lounge. Despite this newfound freedom, his body stops at the same point in the hallway—where the psychiatric ward ends four floors above him. After reaching his line again, JiMin returns to his room. He assumes a student occupied the bed before him because he finds a forgotten workbook in the nearby drawers. Remembering that he used this workbook in school, he flips through and reads the notes scribbled in the margins. “I want to go to a PC cafe, too…” he murmurs, spotting the note “wanna go to the PC cafe later?” JiMin finds a haphazardly folded paper tucked into the pages and unfolds it curiously. “Career… plan?”

The story cuts to 10 May with SeokJin, from a hidden vantage point, watching JiMin sit in the hospital lounge and read a book. It reminds him of their days in the classroom hideout. “He seems okay right now.” SeokJin receives a call from Uncle JunHo about the scheduling of a Songho Foundation seminar. During their conversation, a loudspeaker announcement summons JiMin to the 2nd floor physical therapy room. He drops the book and runs out of the lounge. Once finished with the call, SeokJin tries to find the book JiMin was reading. He doesn’t see it among those scattered around the lounge and thinks that JiMin must’ve had a reason to hide it. Hoping it will provide him a clue to understanding his friend, SeokJin hunts around either the window or trash can with no luck before turning to the vending machine. After scooting a bookcase out of the way, he is finally able to rescue the item. SeokJin deduces that the workbook doesn’t belong to JiMin because it’s Year 2 material and JiMin was admitted to the hospital in his first year. He finds the detached sheet with two different types of handwriting and determines which belongs to JiMin. The game provides a quick flashback shot of JiMin filling out the paper. “Aspiring Career Path: Will I be able to go to university too? Scholastic Activities: What should I learn in Year 2… Extracurricular Activities: Join the dance club HoSeok started.” SeokJin wonders what JiMin felt as he wrote in the answers. He considers how JiMin people-watched from the hallway and looked happy reading the workbook. “You want to leave, don’t you?” SeokJin thinks. “Let’s get out of here. So you can be the one to decide what kind of life you want to live.” He resolves to break JiMin free.

On 11 May, JiMin stops at the invisible line in the hallway again. He stares at the door before turning around and bumping into someone. He is shocked speechless when he realizes that it’s SeokJin. The next episode continues from this moment but switches to SeokJin’s perspective. He calms JiMin down before bringing him to the lounge, giving the excuse that he was in the hospital to visit someone else. JiMin’s cheeks are hollowed, his hands skinnier than normal. SeokJin wonders if he can inspire JiMin to act if he tells him that he’ll be able to do all of the things he wrote on the career plan once he leaves the hospital. He either asks, “JiMin, are you injured?” or “How long have you been in the hospital?” In both paths, JiMin refers to his wrist injury and the time he’s been in the surgical ward rather than the psychiatric one. He looks grim when he can’t give a proper answer to either “When do you get discharged?” or “Are you sick?” “I think I have to go now. It’s almost time for treatment, too…” JiMin stands to leave, avoiding his gaze. SeokJin rushes after him and blocks his path, knowing this might be their last chance to speak if they say goodbye already. “JiMin, I’m here because I know everything. You want to leave this place, don’t you? You’ve been here for two years.” JiMin steps back but doesn’t run away. “I just happened to hear… how your mother locked you in the psychiatric ward,” SeokJin explains. JiMin shakes his head with a frightened expression. “No. I’m here because I’m sick.” His eyes falter when SeokJin presses, “JiMin, I can help you. Let’s get out of here together.”

Short flashbacks play from JiMin’s perspective alongside his thoughts: “At first, I wanted to leave. I called my mom and cried until my voice went hoarse, asking her to take me home. That I didn’t want to stay here. But she didn’t listen. Because this is where I should be…” Aloud, JiMin speaks in a voice that sounds like he has given up on everything. “Even if I leave, I’ll eventually come back.” SeokJin shakes his head. “What’s important is how you feel. JiMin, you really want to stay here? That’s okay with you?” Depending on the players’ choice, he either continues, “Do you really not have anything you want to do?” or “‘You really want to stay here in the hospital?” In the first path, SeokJin tries to remind him of something he must want to do like studying or dancing. “I don’t… have anything like that,” JiMin lies. In the second path, JiMin says it’s better for him in the hospital because outside people treat him like a freak. SeokJin remembers the women whispering about Sim SeonMi and her hospitalized son at the Songho Foundation meeting. In both paths, JiMin is pale and shaky. SeokJin decides to ask one more time. “You don’t want to go outside and see your friends?” JiMin seems to perk up at the mention of “friends,” but he does not respond or lift his gaze. SeokJin’s parting words are, “Think about it, JiMin… I’ll come back to visit again.”

The next day (12 May), SeokJin reflects on his failure to persuade both JiMin and his mother. “What can I do to help JiMin get over his fear and gain courage?” he wonders. The career plan comes to mind again with JiMin’s notes of college, studying, and dancing—the things he wants to do outside of the hospital. This prompts SeokJin to remember a day in the classroom hideout when he filmed HoSeok dancing. On the sidelines, TaeHyung complimented HoSeok’s moves and asked if JiMin could dance like that. Gaze full of envy and longing, JiMin answered, “No. How could I do that?” “HoSeok! JiMin says he wants to try!” TaeHyung called. Flustered, JiMin tried to stop him, but HoSeok looked over. “Do you want to try?” JiMin insisted that he couldn’t, but TaeHyung pushed him forward and HoSeok gladly demonstrated the routine. JiMin hesitated at first to attempt it alone but began to move at their encouragement. In the present, SeokJin believes that he has found an answer in this memory. “TaeHyung, who pushed him forward… and HoSeok, who believed that he could do it. Maybe one of those two will help JiMin muster up the courage.”

SeokJin picks TaeHyung to help him persuade JiMin, considering that he was the first person to notice how JiMin was feeling when they watched HoSeok dance and helped JiMin take action when he hesitated. (We know from The Notes 1 that SeokJin’s later, successful choice ends up being HoSeok instead.) On 13 May, SeokJin visits TaeHyung’s convenience store to explain JiMin’s situation, and TaeHyung immediately agrees to help. Late that night and with little planned, they sneak into JiMin’s hospital room. Sensing their presence, JiMin turns on the light and is especially surprised to see TaeHyung. “We’re here to get you out of here, JiMin,” he says. “Did you think about it?” SeokJin asks. When JiMin hesitates, TaeHyung presses him to answer honestly. “Park JiMin, do you like being here? Staying here is awful! Let’s leave. You can think when we’re outside.” TaeHyung forces JiMin to his feet even as he hesitates and protests about the impending night rounds, although he does not push TaeHyung’s hand away. SeokJin knows this is hasty but decides to trust TaeHyung. Out in the hallway, he reflects that if even he spoke the same words, JiMin would not agree. SeokJin has encountered moments like this before where his friends solve problems that he cannot fix alone. “TaeHyung seems to be JiMin’s answer, just like YoonGi needed JungKook,” SeokJin thinks. (JungKook saving YoonGi is not a solution that played out in YoonGi’s story, but this is a familiar theme from Notes 1 and forward.)

The elevator arrives as they turn the corner, its doors opening to reveal Sim SeonMi. SeokJin warns, “Hide. It’s JiMin’s mom.” She walks past without noticing them. SeokJin quickly presses the elevator button, but it has already left. “JiMin, quick!” TaeHyung calls. “TaeHyung, I just…” “You can’t look back,” TaeHyung says firmly. He and SeokJin pull JiMin towards the stairwell, but JiMin stops walking. “What’s wrong?” asks TaeHyung. JiMin’s expression is on the verge of crying yet also angry. “I can’t,” he whispers. “Park JiMin, we don’t have time for this—” TaeHyung is interrupted by Sim SeonMi’s distant voice. “Where’d he go? The bathroom?” SeokJin tugs JiMin’s arm, but he looks afraid again. “SeokJin, I… I can’t do this. I don’t think I can.” SeokJin either soothes JiMin himself or has TaeHyung talk to him. In the first path, he takes JiMin’s trembling hand. “It’s safe for me here.” JiMin shakes his head. “No, JiMin. Something bad will happen if you stay here,” SeokJin cautions. “No, I have to stay here. That’s what’s right. I want to stay here,” JiMin insists. In the second path, SeokJin shoots TaeHyung a look, and TaeHyung in turn scans over JiMin. The tapping sound of shoes rings through the silent hallway. TaeHyung begins, “JiMin, if you stop here…” The paths rejoin when Sim SeonMi spots them and calls to JiMin, face livid as she approaches. “Oh… Mom.” The color drains from JiMin’s face. “Please… Please! Can’t you just stay put?” she demands sharply.

TaeHyung attempts to intervene, introducing himself as JiMin’s friend. Sim SeonMi does not look at him even when he explains that JiMin didn’t expect their visit and they were just taking him outside so as not to disturb the sleeping patients. SeokJin chimes in too, hoping their flimsy excuse will work, but Sim SeonMi orders JiMin back to his room. Looking defeated, JiMin trudges out of sight. Sim SeonMi finally turns her gaze on SeokJin, regarding him with the same expression as she utters the same words from the last loop. “I didn't know you were JiMin’s friend.” She warns them not to visit him again like this because he is very sick and it will interfere with his treatment. Before coldly turning to leave, she touches TaeHyung’s shoulder for a moment. (This same gesture was given to HoSeok in the hospital after JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20 in Notes 1.) Her presence is like a wall separating them from JiMin. (SeokJin’s observation echoes HoSeok’s feeling that she was drawing an uncrossable line between them that September.) TaeHyung yells after her, “What’s wrong with him?! You can’t even spare the time to talk to us?!” SeokJin cautions him to stop. “Let me go! JiMin! Park JiMin!” TaeHyung’s voice rings loudly in the hallway, but no one answers. As they leave the hospital, he asks, “Do you think JiMin will be okay?” SeokJin cannot respond because he knows the truth: when JiMin returns to the psychiatric ward, he always makes the same awful choice.

The story cuts to JiMin sitting on his hospital bed and staring at his feet, unable to face his mother. He regrets following SeokJin and TaeHyung. “It was a lie, wasn’t it?” Sim SeonMi asks. “What those kids said earlier. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” JiMin apologizes, throat catching. “What were you going to do? What could you possibly do outside of this place?” she demands. JiMin remembers all the things he thought about alone in the lounge: going to school, making friends, and learning dance from HoSeok again. “I want to live a regular life. It’s nothing that special. Why is it that I’m not allowed to dream?” he thinks. “JiMin, let’s focus on getting better first. When you’re all better… I’ll let you do whatever you want once you’re discharged. But you know that now isn’t the time. Let’s do it when you’re back to normal,” Sim SeonMi advises with a power in her voice that he can’t fight. Questions pile up in his head: what is getting better, and what is normal? But he holds it in and nods, not wanting to make things any more difficult for her. “Okay, Mom. I will…” As he speaks, it dawns on him that he’ll never get to leave the hospital.

JiMin moves back to the psychiatric ward after SeokJin and TaeHyung’s visit. The place is still the same: a man mutters that he’s not crazy; a child stays glued to the window, waiting for their mom. “And then there’s me, unable to progress because I’m locked in the past. If nothing changes even as time flows, how is it any different than time standing still?” On 19 May, JiMin stands in the bathroom with the water running. He sees and hears the falling drops as rain and smells a sharp stickiness. Reflected in the water in the sink, he sees a vision of himself on “that day.” (This is referring to 6 April Year 11 and the events of the arboretum, first introduced in that dated entry in The Notes 1 and revealed in full on 12 August Year 22 of The Notes 2.) “...I hate it.” JiMin covers his eyes. “I want to forget everything. I want to rest.” The glass shatters, concluding his arc.

Someone Left Behind

HoSeok’s story opens on 11 May Year 22 with SeokJin providing some chronological context. So far, he has not made it to June once in the loops because HoSeok collapses from his narcolepsy and JiMin is still trapped in the hospital. SeokJin can encounter JiMin naturally if he admits HoSeok to the hospital after his collapse on 10 May, but HoSeok has an accident in the hospital stairwell and falls into despair over his leg injury. (10 May is the date HoSeok collapses and wakes up in the hospital in The Notes 1, and this is likely the moment referenced by his bridge scene in the I Need U MV.) Even if SeokJin prevents that accident or helps HoSeok avoid admittance to the hospital entirely, his narcolepsy grows worse over time after 10 May. SeokJin determines that he needs to control HoSeok’s narcolepsy in order to save him, and he heads to Two Star Burger where HoSeok works to begin earnestly investigating.

A cutscene plays out at the restaurant: HoSeok, wearing a manager’s tag, watches two friends eating at a table while someone places their order with him. His expression is distant and briefly sad until he catches himself and smiles brightly at the customer. When the door chimes, he greets the new visitor and realizes it’s SeokJin. This is apparently their first time meeting in this loop because HoSeok heard from the other guys that Seokjin returned. SeokJin asks how he’s doing, and HoSeok replies, “Me? Same as usual.” SeokJin knows that “same as usual” means HoSeok’s life has a set, monotonous routine: working his part-time job, going to dance practice, and occasionally visiting the children’s home. Sometimes, he also comes to the bridge over the river and watches the scenery. The scene transitions to this location later at night as SeokJin narrates this. He stands at a distance so HoSeok doesn’t see him. HoSeok’s out-of-character, melancholy expression worries SeokJin. He hasn’t observed any changes to his friend’s daily routine, and HoSeok hasn’t collapsed recently—so why does he keep collapsing on 10 May?

The narrative cuts to 3 May. (I double-checked the dates and can only assume that this is a new loop, although a reset is not specifically mentioned—or else the opening date was a typo.) SeokJin mulls the situation over alone for a while but ends up going to NamJoon out of frustration. NamJoon and HoSeok share similarities, and they’re both responsible for other people. Believing that NamJoon knows HoSeok best, SeokJin visits his container. NamJoon greets him warmly. JungKook is already there, killing time after school. SeokJin mentions that he saw HoSeok a few days earlier at Two Star Burger but couldn’t really talk to him because he was busy. NamJoon suggests inviting him to join them after work and bring some hamburgers too since JungKook is hungry. SeokJin either calls HoSeok himself or lets JungKook call. In the first path, HoSeok says he’ll come as soon as SeokJin mentions that a few of them are together. In the second path, while JungKook is on the phone, SeokJin asks NamJoon how HoSeok is and learns that he practices dance at the cultural center every day. SeokJin wonders if HoSeok is pushing himself too hard. The paths rejoin: before HoSeok arrives, SeokJin inquires about his narcolepsy too. NamJoon doesn’t know much except that he’s still taking medication for it and seems to be doing okay. It seems that no one dares to bring it up since HoSeok doesn’t speak about it openly. The conversation trails off while they wait, although it’s not awkward—it reminds SeokJin of old times together.

HoSeok arrives with a cheerful greeting, wafting in the smell of fresh hamburgers. “These hamburgers were hand-made by the employee of the month!” He rustles through the bags and produces a kid’s meal boxed toy, giving it to JungKook. “Here’s your Children’s Day gift!” JungKook pouts that he’s not a kid but seems pleased to receive a gift even though it’s a couple days early. HoSeok explains that he has to be at the children’s home on 5 May. NamJoon asks if they’re hosting an event that day. “It’s not really an event… I’m going to see the families,” says HoSeok. He plans to bring hamburgers and play with the kids rather than bring gifts. SeokJin is surprised to hear that almost twenty children, ranging from young kids to high schoolers, live at the home. “‘That’s more than I expected. It must be fun when everyone plays together.” HoSeok invites him to come along to take photos of everyone, and SeokJin agrees with a high-five. NamJoon declines because he’s too busy, and JungKook hesitates. HoSeok assures him not to feel pressured, causing SeokJin to reflect on how he has always been the “mood-maker” whose cheerful personality eases awkward situations and defuses disagreements. While lost in thought, he notices HoSeok taking out his medication. “How are you these days? Do you feel better?” NamJoon checks. “Hmm. I don’t have any symptoms, but I shouldn’t be skipping these.” A grim expression flashes across HoSeok’s face. SeokJin thinks, “It doesn’t mean he’s alright just because he smiles in front of people.” He guesses that HoSeok must feel scared of his condition, not knowing when he’ll collapse next. It’s not enough for SeokJin to prevent the accidents he can see or to stop HoSeok from getting injured—he must save him from the fear that isn’t visible. SeokJin resolves to find out what makes him collapse. Even if the condition isn’t curable, discovering the cause might help HoSeok get better.

On 5 May, SeokJin meets up with HoSeok at the children’s home, which is located near Yangji Stream. HoSeo looks happy and explains that visiting there is like coming home. They bring their respective gifts of hamburgers and snacks inside, and all the kids rush to HoSeok in excitement. One of the home’s staff greets them. HoSeok introduces her as Kim JungHee. He calls her “auntie” and regards her as someone who has been like a mother to him. As SeokJin helps her set the table with food, he thinks that the children’s home feels like an ordinary family home and HoSeok looks like the dependable older brother among all the kids. After taking all the requested pictures later, SeokJin joins HoSeok to watch the children play outside. “You’re on good terms with the kids,” he observes. “I’ve only been out of the children’s home about three months now, so I know them all,” HoSeok explains. (He moved into his rooftop room on 25 Feb Year 22 according to that date’s Note accompanying the Persona album.) SeokJin either comments, “Auntie seems like a great person. She treated me well and we’ve only just met,” or asks, “How old were you when you first came here?” In both paths, HoSeok speaks with visible adoration for Kim JungHee. In the first path, he mentions that although she’s scary when mad, she never gets angry without a reason. “Auntie JungHee is just… like a mom. She’s mom.” In the second path, HoSeok answers that he was seven when he moved into the children’s home. He describes how Auntie would sing him songs that his mother listened to instead of a lullaby when he had trouble falling asleep, and that was the first time he cried after coming to the home. SeokJin begins, “Then, HoSeok, when you were little…” But a boy’s cries interrupt him before he can ask if HoSeok experienced narcolepsy when he was younger. “What’s wrong, JiHun?” HoSeok asks in concern. The sobbing boy shows him a broken toy rocket. “My mom… gave this to me.” HoSeok is at a loss because it looks impossible to fix. “I’ll bring you a new one next time. Don’t cry, JiHun. Okay?” The boy keeps crying despite HoSeok’s attempts at consolation. Before SeokJin can think of another tactic, HoSeok speaks up, drying JiHun’s tears. “JiHun, do you want to go with me to see a real rocket?”

At HoSeok’s request, SeokJin drives them both to Yeongsan Bridge, one of the bridges that crosses Yangji Stream and that HoSeok frequents. SeokJin is perplexed about what could count as a “real rocket” as they head to HoSeok’s usual spot on the bridge, and JiHun appears suspicious but excited. “Look over there!” HoSeok points to the train departing Songju Station in the distance, picking up speed on the tracks. “Wow!” JiHun exclaims. “What do you think? That rocket looks cool, huh?” asks HoSeok. “Rocket? That’s a train,” says the boy. “Look closely! It’s a rocket.” HoSeok beams. JiHun asks HoSeok why he calls it a rocket. HoSeok explains that the front end of the train is pointy like a rocket and that it takes people somewhere far away. (He also refers to the trains as rockets in his 4 July Year 22 entry from The Notes 2.) SeokJin realizes that from his vantage point on the bridge, HoSeko has been watching the train that leaves Songju. “JiHun, you can wish on the rocket, too!” HoSeok describes how the rocket can carry dreams because the people who ride on it have dreams. JiHun wishes to become famous so his mom can find him. HoSeok falls silent for a moment before resuming his chatty demeanor. Together they wish on the rocket for JiHun to see his mom again. JiHun asks HoSeok what he wishes for so they can wish it on the next rocket. HoSeok whispers in his ear. “Wow, you too?!” JiHun exclaims. HoSeok shushes him, so SeokJin does not learn HoSeok’s answer.

After dropping JiHun off at the children’s home, SeokJin and HoSeok relax at a bar. HoSeok thanks him for his help that day. SeokJin asks if HoSeok visits Yeongsan Bridge frequently to look at the trains. HoSeok smiles bashfully over his drink and explains that he liked visiting it when he lived in the children’s home. “Is that when you came up with the rocket story?” SeokJin asks. HoSeok replies, ‘Yeah. The people getting on the train look so cheerful and happy. It almost makes me want to get on there with them, too.” He stops abruptly and calls out to a customer on his way out. The young man is introduced as DongJin, a friend who also grew up in the children’s home. SeokJin invites him to sit with them, hoping that he knows more about HoSeok, but DongJin declines since he’s with other company. Before departing, he mentions that he will stop by Two Star Burger to see HoSeok soon. After his friend leaves, HoSeok tells SeokJin more about his childhood. SeokJin understands why he considers the people at the children’s home his family.

A little tipsy now, HoSeok brings up another memory. The whole family at the children’s home goes to Yangji Stream on August 30th for the yearly fireworks, but when he was about nine, he had to be admitted to the hospital for a check-up. SeokJin either asks, “Did you miss the fireworks that year?” or “Were you sick?” In the first path, HoSeok describes how he snuck out of his hospital room and up to the rooftop to watch the fireworks. Along the way, he found a little kid crying in the stairwell who was looking for his mom and wanted to leave, and he brought the boy to the roof so they could view the fireworks together. He doesn’t know who the kid was or remember his face. (See the Additional Thoughts section at the end for who I hope this kid really was!) In the second path, HoSeok answers that he was falling asleep without explanation but the doctor said there was nothing particularly abnormal. SeokJin tries to ask a leading question to get him to reveal more, but HoSeok’s expression is grim. The paths rejoin with HoSeok asking SeokJin if he has attended the fireworks festival too. He looks wistful when SeokJin replies that he went with his family when he was younger. HoSeok brings up DongJin again. “He’s a really lucky guy. Even though it was pretty late, he got in touch with his parents and moved out to go live with them.” His eyes reflect bitterness. “DongJin and I… both dreamed of going to the fireworks festival with our parents. I guess he’ll achieve his dream for the first time this year.” SeokJin recalls HoSeok’s rocket story and asks if that’s the dream he told JiHun about earlier. HoSeok dismisses this: his dream now is to become famous for dancing. SeokJin remembers him mentioning this in high school. “Right, you said you wanted to become famous as a dancer so it would help you find your mom… Are you still dancing because of that?” HoSeok says that was why he first started but he grew to really love dance. “You don’t have any plans to go find your mom, then?” SeokJin asks. “Why would I go anywhere? My home, work, and friends are all here.” HoSeok laughs, but it seems like he is just holding on rather than truly feeling happy. “I just… like where I am.”

Episode four begins on 8 May, Parents’ Day, in HoSeok’s perspective. As promised, DongJin visits him at Two Star Burger and asks if he can get a job there because he needs money. HoSeok is taken aback since DongJin supposedly has moved out of Songju to live with his father after reconnecting with his family. “What happened to your self-reliance support fund?” DongJin confesses that he gave it all to his father, who said that he needed it to buy them a house but hasn’t contacted him since receiving the money. “I think my expectations were too high. They abandoned me once. Why wouldn’t they abandon me a second time? I wish I hadn’t met them…” DongJin’s voice wavers. HoSeok assures him that his father must be busy looking for houses. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll contact you soon. I’ll look into a job for you.” DongJin thanks him multiple times before leaving. After work, HoSeok returns to the bridge and leans on the railing. He often does this even when there are no passing trains—watching the flow of the river empties his mind and puts him at ease. But the calm water cannot still his thoughts today. He thinks about the many children at the home who want to be reunited with their parents, including JiHun, DongJin, and himself. HoSeok is honest about his feelings, acknowledging that he envies DongJin for being able to contact a parent, even one who let him down. He closes his eyes and remembers the day his mom abandoned him at the carousel. In the memory, she hands him a chocolate bar and instructs him to count to ten before opening his eyes. The screen goes black after “three,” and at “nine,” the player hears the sound of someone falling. (The carousel memory is also depicted in the Highlight Reel.)

The story cuts to the next day, 9 May, outside Two Star Burger. SeokJin is uneasy knowing that HoSeok collapsed yesterday, two days earlier than he normally does in the loops, and hovers nearby to keep an eye on him. HoSeok announces that he’s heading out for a delivery and heads outside to the delivery scooter. A passing woman reminds her daughter to count before crossing the street. “One, two, three…” HoSeok watches them cross the street and collapses again. “HoSeok!” SeokJin cries. He gets permission from the restaurant manager to take a still-unconscious HoSeok home to his room that overlooks all of Songju City. SeokJin helps HoSeok onto his bed before looking around his room. The player has a choice to look at the items on the desk or a familiar planter on the dresser. In the first path, SeokJin clicks past the screensaver on HoSeok’s laptop and sees that the web browser is open to an audition information video for a famous international dance team. (This may be the same dance team that one of his friends from the children’s home successfully auditions for, referenced in HoSeok’s 4 July Year 22 entry accompanying the Tear album and 7 July Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.) He remembers HoSeok mentioning that he’s happiest when dancing and knows that he still runs Just Dance, the dance club he started in high school. “I’m sure he’d do well if he applies,” SeokJin muses. In the second path, SeokJin recognizes the plant as the one HoSeok tended every day in their classroom hideout. He wonders what HoSeok was thinking when he brought the plant home and how he feels caring for it. The paths rejoin with HoSeok stirring on the bed, mumbling “Mmm… Mom… Don’t go…” SeokJin recalls that HoSeok called for his mother when he fell asleep in high school. “Is the memory of losing his mom related to his narcolepsy?” he thinks. “Are you okay, HoSeok?” SeokJin asks when HoSeok opens his eyes. HoSeok is confused to find himself at home. SeokJin explains that he happened to see him collapse as he was passing by and assures him that he spoke to his manager. “HoSeok, you know how you keep collapsing… The hospital doesn’t know why yet? You don’t have any idea what makes you collapse, either?” he presses. But HoSeok shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

On 10 May, HoSeok receives a call from one of the younger kids from the children’s home while getting ready for work in his apartment. The kid informs him that Auntie JungHee isn’t working at the home anymore because she has been diagnosed with late-stage colon cancer. She is scheduled to have surgery, but the chances of success are low. HoSeok’s mind goes blank, and he hangs up. When he rushes outside, he runs into SeokJin. “I stopped by because I was worried. Are you headed out?” asks SeokJin. Consumed with the thought of getting to Auntie, HoSeok says he needs to visit JungHee and doesn’t have time to ask why SeokJin is there. SeokJin follows, offering him a ride. The player chooses to have HoSeok either get in the car or refuse the ride. In the first path, HoSeok pretends to be calm when explaining the situation to SeokJin, but his voice noticeably trembles. In the second path, he declines because he’s afraid that speaking about it will make it come true, and then he runs to the bus stop.

The story cuts to HoSeok standing on the bridge, unable to remember how he made it to Auntie’s house after saying goodbye to SeokJin. He can only recall the face he saw through one of the open windows of Auntie’s house: JungHee laughing as she chatted with someone. The news of her illness and the low success rate of the surgery seems like a lie. She was the first person he could rely on after HoSeok lost his mom. He can’t shake off the vision of himself standing in front of the carousel “like an idiot.” Head spinning, he thinks, “I just wanted them to stay by my side. Is that too much to ask? What kind of terrible thing have I ever done?” The perspective switches to SeokJin as he watches HoSeok walk precariously across the bridge, looking both shocked and deeply sad. He reflects on his failed attempts to prevent HoSeok from collapsing here. Even if he stays with HoSeok like he did with JungKook or intervenes like he did with YoonGi, HoSeok always runs to JungHee’s home and then collapses on this bridge on his way back. SeokJin is aware that JungHee has cancer (so the first path of the branching choices has happened at least once, or he found out in earlier loops). The extra collapses of this loop weigh on SeokJin’s mind too. Something changed after HoSeok met DongJin, and SeokJin regrets taking him to the bar on 5 May. He looks on as HoSeok inevitably staggers and falls in the same spot.

SeokJin calls 119 and has HoSeok admitted to the hospital. As before, HoSeok is placed in the same hospital room of the surgery ward as JiMin. SeokJin decides not to visit him because he is afraid of running into JiMin and unsure of what will play out if he does. Now that HoSeok is in the hospital, there is no way to avoid the future accident in the stairwell. A few days later, SeokJin scopes out the scene. He mulls over the repeating scenario of HoSeok chasing down the stairs after a woman he mistakes for his mother. SeokJin connects the dots between HoSeok calling for his mother in his sleep and the way he cried in front of his Auntie’s house. “Everything has to do with ‘mom.’ If HoSeok’s narcolepsy is because of ‘mom,’ does that mean this accident is connected to the idea of mom, too?” In other loops in which SeokJin successfully prevented the stairwell accident, HoSeok continued to collapse more frequently until he eventually did so in the street. SeokJin contemplates how his condition apparently worsens after he sees a woman that reminds him of his mother.

The day after HoSeok is admitted to the hospital, 11 May, SeokJin invites NamJoon to meet him at a cart bar after his work shift. NamJoon brings up HoSeok first. Unable to say that he was the one to call for help, SeokJin pretends to be surprised that HoSeok is in the hospital. NamJoon reports that HoSeok had a minor concussion and is staying there for a couple days so the doctors can run additional tests. SeokJin wonders if HoSeok dreamt of his mother again and feels a pang at the image of him haunted by nightmares. He proceeds to tell NamJoon about their visit to the children’s home, meeting DongJin, and learning about the auntie’s illness. Cautiously, SeokJin proposes that HoSeok’s collapsing may be related to his mother. NamJoon mulls it over before agreeing. “I guess it could. Thinking about his auntie might have led him to think about his mom.” “I’m sure he feels like he’s losing his mother a second time,” SeokJin adds. NamJoon asks if he knows HoSeok’s wish to become a famous dancer in order to find his mom, although his dancing grew into a genuine source of joy. “So I thought… Dance had become Jung HoSeok’s cure. Something that helps him hold on. The thing that helps him bear something he can’t otherwise. That’s what dance is to HoSeok. Don’t you have something like that, SeokJin?” NamJoon regards him silently after this, leaving SeokJin much to contemplate. They promise to visit HoSeok together at the hospital. SeokJin hopes that if NamJoon knows just how much dancing means to HoSeok, he may figure out something from HoSeok’s reaction in the stairwell that SeokJin has missed. He just needs to figure out a natural way to get NamJoon into the stairwell at the right time.

On 12 May, SeokJin and NamJoon meet at the hospital. SeokJin suggests that they take the stairs since the elevators are crowded and lies about HoSeok being on the 3rd floor to strengthen his excuse. When they arrive on the 2nd floor landing, they hear footsteps and voices from above. The woman descending the stairs with a child is the one whom HoSeok keeps mistaking for his mother. SeokJin needs to stall until HoSeok comes down too, so he either suggests that they buy some snacks to bring or mentions that he may have got the wrong floor number and checks his phone. Moments later, they hear pounding footsteps and HoSeok shouting, “Mom!” NamJoon locks eyes with HoSeok and, unaware of what is about to happen, turns to follow the woman. “Ma’am! Excuse me!” Caught off guard, SeokJin is too late to grab HoSeok, who falls and screams. As he rolls on the floor clutching his leg, sealing the injury that will prevent him from dancing, the glass shatters.

SeokJin involves NamJoon in several more loops after that, but his attempts to save HoSeok end in failure. He wonders again if he should admit HoSeok to the hospital at all, but decides that if the incident is connected to HoSeok’s trauma, it needs to be solved rather than avoided. On a new 12 May, SeokJin stands near the hospital stairwell, prepared to intervene himself and ask HoSeok about his mother afterward. He spots JiMin emerging from the 2nd floor physical therapy room and pressing the elevator button. Hiding out of sight in the stairwell, SeokJin mulls over his options. If he prevents HoSeok’s accident, he still needs to get JiMin out of the hospital too—an effort that has been unsuccessful so far due to JiMin stopping at the exit or later having a seizure when they pass the arboretum. “Maybe the answer to HoSeok is… JiMin? What if… this incident is the variable between HoSeok and JiMin?” Heart pounding, SeokJin begins to hope that they can save each other. He doesn’t have enough time before HoSeok comes down the stairs to figure out what to say to JiMin and decides that he will just have to make the reason for his presence in the hospital believable. “JiMin!” he calls. “SeokJin? How are you here—” Looking shocked, JiMin steps back like he’s about to run away. SeokJin realizes that they haven’t met in this loop yet, and JiMin strongly dislikes people knowing that he’s in the hospital. With no time to explain, SeokJin leaves him behind and rushes into the stairwell. But he’s too late to catch HoSeok’s fall, and the story concludes with the glass shattering once again. (Based on The Notes 1, we know that the “successful” decision SeokJin makes in later loops is to stay out of sight when he calls JiMin. JiMin is puzzled by the silhouette he sees in the doorway and enters the stairwell just in time to catch HoSeok.)

Additional Thoughts

JiMin’s mother, Sim SeonMi, becomes one of the most fleshed-out adult characters in the BU narrative so far thanks to his story. We already knew the most about SeokJin’s father, Kim ChangJun, due to his role in The Notes 2. I’ve had an inkling of a suspicion that JiMin’s parents were connected in some way to SeokJin’s father, so I was satisfied to see this confirmed in the game. I’m curious about JiMin’s father and the lack of details surrounding him. He has only been depicted once in The Notes 1, when JiMin returned home days after sneaking out of the hospital with his friends.

Though it’s never explicitly stated in the texts, the Wings Short Film #6 MAMA depicts that HoSeok is diagnosed with Munchausen’s syndrome, a psychological disorder in which the individual pretends to be ill or deliberately produces symptoms of the illness. His prescription pills are actually placebos. On 16 May Year 22 in The Notes 1, HoSeok confesses to JiMin that his narcolepsy is fake, although he doesn’t feign symptoms on purpose.

I was personally a little disappointed with the lack of new information in HoSeok’s story. While his relationships with the auntie and other children from the home are explored in greater detail, the most significant plot points if his arc have already been covered as of The Notes 2.

I have no proof for this, but I want the unidentified crying boy who young HoSeok met in the hospital stairwell and brought to the rooftop to see the fireworks to be JiMin. If HoSeok was 9 at the time, then JiMin was 7. He has been in and out of the hospital since the arboretum incident (earlier that same year), so it is plausible that he had an overlapping stay with HoSeok in the summer of Year 11.

As mentioned above, the following “tl;dr” commentary summarizes the parenthetical notes I provided in the summaries in case you want to review them on their own.

Stopped Time — tl;dr commentary

In the opening cutscene, JiMin plays on the colored tiles in a hospital hallway and stops when he reaches “the line” by the exit door. This line marks the end of the psychiatric ward and is first described in his 11 May Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.

The Songho Foundation patron meeting that SeokJin attends on 22 April Year 22 was suggested by the city’s Deputy Mayor at the inauguration ceremony on 11 April. That earlier ceremony played out in JungKook’s arc.

Before the loop reset, SeokJin waits outside the Gyeong Il Hospital as he plans his next move since JiMin is moving out of the surgical ward that day. The date is unspecified in the game, but in The Notes 1, he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward on 16 May.

In this story, SeokJin picks TaeHyung to help him free JiMin from the hospital. He hopes that TaeHyung will be JiMin’s “answer,” just like YoonGi needed JungKook. JungKook saving YoonGi is not a solution that played out in YoonGi’s story, but this is a familiar theme from Notes 1 and forward. However, SeokJin and TaeHyung are caught by JiMin’s mother while trying to leave the hospital with him. We know from The Notes 1 that SeokJin’s later, successful choice ends up being HoSeok instead.

Before coldly leaving SeokJin and TaeHyung to rejoin her son, Sim SeonMi touches TaeHyung’s shoulder for a moment. This same gesture was given to HoSeok in the hospital after JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20 in Notes 1. To SeokJin, her presence is like a wall separating them from JiMin. This echoes HoSeok’s feeling that she was drawing an uncrossable line between them that September.

At the end of the story, the vision JiMin sees reflected in the sink water of “that day” is referring to 6 April Year 11 and the events of the arboretum, first introduced in that dated entry in The Notes 1 and revealed in full on 12 August Year 22 of The Notes 2.

Someone Left Behind — tl;dr commentary

In the story’s opening, SeokJin refers to HoSeok’s collapse on 10 May. This is the date that HoSeok collapses and wakes up in the hospital in The Notes 1, and it is likely the moment referenced by his bridge scene in the I Need U MV.

When SeokJin observes that HoSeok is on good terms with the kids from the children’s home, HoSeok explains that he’s only been out of the home for about three months. He moved into his rooftop room on 25 Feb Year 22 according to that date’s Note accompanying the Persona album.

As he does in the game, HoSeok refers to the trains as “rockets” in his 4 July Year 22 entry from The Notes 2.

HoSeok’s memory of being abandoned at the carousel is also depicted in the Highlight Reel.

When searching HoSeok’s apartment, SeokJin notices the laptop’s web browser is open to an audition information video for a famous international dance team. This may be the same dance team that one of his friends from the children’s home successfully auditions for, referenced in HoSeok’s 4 July Year 22 entry accompanying the Tear album and 7 July Year 22 entry in The Notes 1.

At the end of the story, SeokJin hopes to gain JiMin’s help to save HoSeok but ends up spooking him because they haven’t met in that loop yet. Based on The Notes 1, we know that the “successful” decision SeokJin makes in later loops is to stay out of sight when he calls JiMin. JiMin is puzzled by the silhouette he sees in the doorway and enters the stairwell just in time to catch HoSeok.

Did you learn anything new from these stories that I did not specifically mention? Let me know in the replies or tags! Please stay tuned for part 4, featuring TaeHyung and the Epilogue.

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oyaterriblyfunnyreallywitty · 4 years

Text

Breathe

Warnings: heartache

Word Count: 1577

Summary : Reader x Draco mini story based on the song Breathe by Taylor Swift

I see your face in my mind as i drive away

cause none of us thought it was going to end that way

Hermione hugged you tight as sobbed into her shirt, Harry kept glancing to the back seat, his own heart aching at the sight.

Ron kept turning too despite being your driver as you all coursed through the muggle world sky en route to Rons where the four of you would be spending the summer.

“Y/n, he’s really not worth it. He’s the worst thing ever. Do you have any idea how much better you deserve? You’re like the best-“

“RON!” Both Hermione and Harry shouted making you glance up, tear streaked face breaking into a laugh.

Ron had been facing the backseat while delivering his heartfelt speech and almost driven you all into the side of a skyscraper which despite the car’s invisibility feature would’ve left a pretty visible dent.

They all looked at you again, all smiles at the sound of your laughter. This only made you crumple back into a ball of tears, remembering Draco dumping you not even ten minutes ago.

Hermione opened her arms letting you bury yourself once again, eventually falling into a restless sleep.

“That loathsome man child! I just knew he wouldn’t ever bring any good into our lives.” that was Hermione, her hand gently brushing through your hair unaware that you could hear them.

“It’s Malfoy, did we really expect he could ever care about anything? Much less y/n’s heart. That foul git.” said Harry through clenched teeth.

“Just wait till we get back, I’ll show him. That coward, smart of him to do it at the platform! He knows he wouldn’t have lived to tell the story had I gotten my hands on him!”

“Ron, don’t shout. You’ll wake her.” Hermione hushed, cupping her hand over your ear.

You smiled, despite the gaping hole in your chest you felt overwhelming love as you listened to your best friends sentiments finally falling into a deep sleep as you did.

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It’s the kind of ending you don’t really wanna see

You stood across from your boyfriend at the platform, luggage in hands and goodbyes in mouth. He gave you a smile that didn’t quiet reach his eyes.

This should’ve rang alarms in your tiny love sick brain, but of course it didn’t.

He pulled you into the longest and tightest hug ever.

Again, this should've been another red flag since he’s never been one for PDA if only you hadn’t been so lovestruck with him.

“Wow, Draco. We’ll be back together in three months. Wouldn’t have guessed you’d miss me this much.” you chuckled against his shoulder hugging as tight as you could his broad shoulders.

Maybe if you’d paid more attention you wouldn’t have felt like a train just hit you when he said what he did next.

“Y/n,” he said gently peeling you off him, “there..” he swallowed and avoided your eyes, focusing on the platform 9 and 3/4 sign. “there’s no us when we return.” his eyes finally met yours.

Today they took on a grey tone. How fitting, just how your heart felt.

His mouth kept moving, perhaps an explanation?

You couldn’t hear what he was saying anymore.

Not that it mattered.

You turned on your heels at once, every sad song you’d ever heard playing in your head.

None of which could describe the heartache you felt as your boyfriend of two years dumped you at the train station.

You began seeing blurry when you bumped hard into someone were grateful it was Harry’s voice that came from them.

“Y/N?"

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, leading you out of the station and into Ron's car swiftly.

Ron and Hermione not far behind, each with part of your luggage, very much unaware of what was happening but hurrying to your aid.

People are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out

But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time

The first week was awful, you couldn’t even bring yourself to eat.

Ron attempting to spoon feed you was an epic fail.

Hermione’s health lecture on skipping meals only made you feel worse.

Even Harry’s cooking didn’t get you to eat more than a single strand of bacon.

On the 9th day of your cauldron cakes and licorice wands diet, they called back up.

The three cowards pretended not to hear as Mrs. Weasley called you over downstairs.

Unaware of the intervention you didn’t think twice about heading down without them, assuming they’d be close behind.

Mrs. Weasley sat at the kitchen table with what looked a feast placed in front of her.

Not even your sense of smell was working these days but you managed a, “Smells great Mrs. Weasley, I’ll go get them.”

“No, please y/n come join me.” she said waving her hand for you to come down.

You caught on to what was going on the moment you turned back and saw the three heads peeking from Ron’s door then duck when you saw them.

“Oh,” she scooted over on the bench patting the spot next to her, “heartbreaks can be a terrible thing. We are such complicated creatures really, and sometime we just don’t fit.” she said, voice filled with empathy as you took your seat next to her.

Your bottom lip quivered and you nodded.

She grabbed a plate and began scooping mashed potatoes and peas into it, “It is a long process y/n. It might be a while before you feel like yourself again, and even then, it’ll be a new self.” She added a chicken leg and set the plate down in front of you.

“It is very important dear, that you don’t forget who comes before any boy ever will.” She was now grabbing a bowl and pouring some type of soup into it.

Tears were freely rolling down your cheeks, and as she sat the bowl down next to the plate Mrs. Weasley caught sight of them. She promptly engulfed you into a motherly hug.

“You do darling. You beautiful, sweet, and caring girl. You must remember this always.” she said lovingly, pulling back to wipe the tears.

You only nodded, if words hadn’t failed you, you could’ve explained they were happy tears. Mrs. Weasley had reminded you there was a light at the end of this dark, and endless seeming corridor.

For the first time in days you ate actual food with a renewed appetite.

its 2 am, feeling like i just lost a friend.

hope you know its not easy for me

You woke up to Hermione shaking you awake, her face pale with concern.

Two very groggy Ron and Harry stood behind her, worry plastered all over their sleepy faces.

“You were screaming.” she said softly, pushing your hair out of your face.

You sat up, suddenly very embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry.” you said looking at each of them.

They all shook their heads, an apology wasn’t needed.

“We just wanted to know if you were okay is all.” said Harry, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Must’ve been a nightmare, what was I saying?” you said with a light laugh.

They exchanged looks, Hermione shaking her head at the boys.

“Oh you know, something about demento-oof” Ron shut up as Harry elbowed him.

“Nothing intelligible.” said Hermione with a faint smile, “Lets all head back to sleep its two in the morning, and tomorrow will be a long day.” she stood up off the edge of the bed. As they all began walking back out, you called on the worst one at keeping secrets.

“Ron?”

He turned, his face fell and he looked anywhere in the room but at you.

“Draco.” he said, the name being self explanatory of what your nightmare was about.

You nodded and then exchanged goodnights again wishing you hadn’t asked, Hermione always knew best.

Thankfully you couldn’t remember the dream but just his name kept you up until Harry barged in at seven telling you it was time to go down.

Today he was going to be teaching Ron tricks that would ensure he be on the quidditch team this upcoming semester, and you and Hermione got to watch it play out, lucky you!

Although each day was getting better, last night had been proof that some days the loss felt as raw as it did that day on platform 9 and 3/4.

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand

The four of you were having a picnic reviewing your upcoming classes and the supplies required as dictated by your Hogwarts letters. You spotted a strange recipe that you’d be required to buy the ingredients for to use in potions class.

“Draco was dreading this potion so much, this is literally his worst subject. I really don’t think he’ll make it out alive if we’re not paired up with them this semester.” you smiled to yourself remembering that specific talk that had taken place after he snuck you past the Slytherin common room and into his dorm room.

Your friends froze and you gasped at the realization.

“He’s pretty bad in all subjects.” joked Hermione, quickly rescuing you from that awkward dead end conversation.

The rest of the afternoon flew by and although your heart felt better than it had in weeks you couldn’t help but wonder what you would do with all these little things you knew about Draco and all this love your heart had for him.

Where would all of the stories and love go?

Would the stories you’d shared slowly become obsolete as you grew into different people?

Would the love just stop being there one of these days?

The answer was no, you realized a few days later as you spotted his platinum hair and your eyes met his from across the platform.

And I can’t breathe without you but I have to..

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time-to-write-and-suffer · 3 years

Note

The soul stone war is a game that I've seen before and its on my list. Was wondering if you coudl tell more about how you feel about it, especially the villain romance if you chose that one.

Uuh, sure. I'll do it in a bullet list cuz it's been a while since I've played it and I can't really be bothered to put a whole coherent post together.

I should also encourage you to read some reviews on the Steam store page. They basically repeat a lot of the points I'm about to make.

The main character is a useless waif. Like, even if you pass the skill checks, there are multiple instances where you're forced to pass out, be injured, kidnapped, or otherwise victimized. They're so helpless and out of their element that it becomes hard to believe any of the much more capable and skilled people around them would ever find them compelling or interesting and consider them anything more than a burden. Yet you’re somehow also the most important person in the whole squad, and they keep protecting and helping you no matter how you treat them. Because hey, that’s the protagonist!

On that note, the romances are dull as hell. All characters are vaguely nice and friendly, some are just more snarky/broody than others. You can "friendmance" people, which is a good concept in theory, but in practice it involves your character being unaware of their own emotions. It further adds to how incapable and clueless they seem. Plus, it never becomes clear why any of the ROs would be romantically interested in the protagonist, especially when they have established connections with other people on the squad already. You’re playing a rando who just shows up one day, bumbles about uselessly, but then becomes the most important person ever to them. Sure.

The plot is filled with contrivances. The main one being that the main character is involved in it at all. They're basically forced into it despite showing no particular skills or talents, and the only excuse we ever get for them sticking around is ... uh ... the big-booby elf lady said they were cute. The author simply didn't bother coming up with a better reason for them to be involved, knowing that there would be one eventually that would justify it in the end, but giving us nothing to work with in the moment, no personal reason and no agency. It feels very cheap.

The world and worldbuilding are basically the most generic fantasy thing you can imagine. The author even answered some questions on their Tumblr about the political structure of the land as "You know Skyrim? Like that." Elements and character dynamics and even minor phrases and words are lifted wholesale from franchises like Dragon Age and The Elder Scrolls. One of the first things your character can say is a reference to Dragon Age, but it's never brought up again and we never get an explanation for what it means in this universe or why the character would say it. One of the first lines in your "own" unique world shouldn't be a tee hee cutesy reference to some other well-established universe.

The tone is all over the place. One moment you're joking around about something the big-boobied blond elf said, the next your character is being tortured by some werewolf woman or some god-entity, and there’s nothing they can do to escape, so you just sit there and have to endure all this torture porn. And then it’s right back to the repetitive jokes and snarky narration.

I’m serious about the torture porn. One of the MC’s backgrounds includes their transgender friend being murdered for being trans. Another includes your character almost getting sexually assaulted. The third involves your younger brother dying. There’s no reason for any of this to be included other than to show how dark and edgy this world is and how your character is running from their past or whatever.

Speaking of dark and edgy, the villain gets a lot of screen time, and it’s mostly him brooding about how evil he is while the narration creams itself over how hot he is, also. But the author acts surprised over how he’s the most popular character in the fandom, and deflects most criticisms for his route as “it’s self-indulgent” and “it’s a secret route just for me, I didn’t think anyone else would play it.” Bro why’d you put it there, then? With instructions in-game on how to reach it?

The writing is genuinely some of the worst I’ve read. I hate to use this word unironically, but it was cringeworthy at times. It’s supposed to be this epic fantasy, but most of the time it feels like it’s chasing the high of a found family in a video game squad, without actually knowing what makes those particular tropes work. It’s simplistic and extremely repetitive, relying more on character tropes and “tumblr meme” interactions than genuine character building and conflict. It also tries and mostly fails to be funny, but that’s more subjective, I guess. Take a shot every time the text goes “thank you very much!” and you’ll be out in a few clicks.

Pacing whomst? Everything happens in the span of like a week or a month, but suddenly your character and their RO are like, in love and all weepy about it? Oh no I almost lost you my dear darling baby, let me tearfully declare how important you are to me. Nevermind the fact that we met four days ago.

The villainmance is the only vaguely interesting thing in the story and it's pretty evident it's the author's favorite thing to write. They've said how it's just a "self-indulgent" thing that wasn't supposed to be popular (I do not believe a word of this), but it's by far the most interesting thing just based on the fact that it's not only the most plot-relevant romance, but it's also the one with the most stakes and drama and the most varied dynamics. There’s genuine, justified angst and emotion in the concept of it at times that is missing from literally every other interaction and grimdark moment.

That being said, I wouldn’t say the villainmance is healthy, so don’t go into it looking for that. The dynamics are way off-balance and a lot of the route in the first game is your character being attracted to the man who’s torturing them and wanting to be tortured again just to interact with him. If you’re into that, then you might be into this story, but if you’re not then you’ll be put off by it.

The Asian-coded character has a "yellow" skintone and is a half-dragon.

The reason there's transphobia in this world and the player can't be trans is is because the "gods" of this world don't want any mortals to have the ability to "change their gender" because that would make them too similar to the gods. However, nonbinary characters are fine, and you can play as one. Because as we all know, binary trans people are just out there "changing their gender" all willy nilly. That's how that works, right? While nonbinary characters are always born nonbinary and nobody assigns genders to their children in this world? Idk how any of this makes any sense but go off, I guess. This isn't in the actual game AFAIK but something I read on the author's Tumblr, so take it as you will. The actual transphobia is in the game, though. Because reasons.

Overall, it’s a lot of half-baked concepts, unfunny writing, and needless torture porn for the sake of torture porn. Plus it’s not even a whole story, it’s just the first part of a series/trilogy? Maybe it’ll get better as it goes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath tbh.

#eff plays

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emmys-grimoire · 4 years

Text

Season 2 review

It is done!

I’ll preface this review with the obvious but nevertheless important: these are my opinions. I am fine with others criticizing my opinions, mind you, but I’m usually disinclined to changing them. Like most opinionated people.

And as with most things covered in this blog, spoilers ahead. Don’t read it if you don’t like ‘em.

The Good

I believe the devs did the side characters justice in terms of character development, which is impressive because they have to fixate on seven other characters for most of the story (the demon brothers are the draw, afterall). It’s a little frustrating because it shows they are capable of revealing a lot about a character in just a single conversation, but they spend a great deal of their time on fluff. It is nothing unsurprising given the aim of the game as a whole (romantic fantasy/escapism), but it does detract from… well, everything else. If you don’t care about everything else, this doesn’t matter. If you’re one of the few who do, like me, you’re in for a drought before you get to the next juicy story morsel. Alas, that is the price we pay.

But, this is ‘the Good’ section of the review, so I will focus on that. Diavolo, Luke, Simeon, and Solomon get fleshed out more than they did in the previous season as promised, and their growing closeness to MC doesn’t feel hamfisted; there’s little realistic hooks strewn throughout that makes the relationships grow organically compared to, say, the newt syrup arc.

At the end of the season MC is set to become Solomon’s new apprentice, they are now instrumental in Diavolo’s plan for realm-wide peace instead of just being a particularly charming exchange student, Simeon is more interested in learning more about MC due to MC’s meddling during the retreat and their performance in his play, and Luke finally can bring himself to admit that he actually enjoys being in the Devildom. Michael is being alluded to more and more and finally drops in to say hi, even though the game stops short of explicitly revealing that it is him. It all feels like a good transition into more romantic things with them in the next season, and I look forward to exploring more hidden depths.

I am relieved they steered away from additional time travel due to its potential to confuse everyone and everything. We need to learn what the deal is with Barbatos but I’m sure it can be done without meddling with the time continuum. The introduction of the Reaper has interesting worldbuilding implications: the souls of all beings are overseen by what appears to be an unaligned third party, though prior lore implies that the departed souls still return to their respective realms (Lilith allegedly forgot how to ascend to the Celestial Realm in her desire to watch over her siblings). But, like with Michael, they avoided actually showing him by having him take a vacation right before Solomon and the brothers arrive.

On the whole, I’m happy with the season’s ending. It’s probably as good as it can get, and sets up the next season well -- assuming there is one (I think there will be).

The Bad

It’s hard to frame this because there were never any explicit promises made but wow was the build-up wasted and the climax went down dry.

Diavolo’s wishy-washiness and reluctance to tell Lucifer about how MC’s presence was slowly tearing the Devildom asunder, his growing jealousy and his doubt in the strength of Lucifer’s loyalty, the foreshadowing in Simeon’s play, Barbatos warning Lucifer that one day he may need to choose between Diavolo and MC/his family and how he was reverting back to his angelic self, the very foreboding storm that was brewing outside, how Lucifer was certain “something bad” was about to happen… all that juicy potential rendered impotent because of the Ring of Light and amnesia.

It didn’t lead to a tortured, difficult choice Lucifer had to make that had the potential to put either his relationships or the realms in jeopardy -- and it really felt like it was headed in that direction. But it couldn’t really lead there because Lucifer lost his memories, and he was just re-familiarizing himself with all those relationships. Instead we had to choose whether or not we let Lucifer martyr himself, and of course he’s willing to do that because he loves us even if his memories aren’t fully intact, and it’s heavily implied that he’s his angel-like self again. The choices we made during the play don’t really come into fruition, and the Ring of Light helps make our choice ultimately irrelevant anyway.

It felt like they winded up for the pitch and then lost their nerve.

Though I’d argue that Lucifer would ultimately be okay with sacrificing himself for MC and the realms even if he was still his full-fledged, assholish demon self… but it definitely felt like fate was going to make him choose between his loyalty and his love. You know, the whole “love is the death of duty”/”duty is the death of love” shebang. It would have been more rewarding -- they can even let the Ring of Light ultimately fix everything and I’d be happy if it was that dilemma! But this isn’t Game of Thrones, so I can’t be too disappointed that my expectations weren’t met.

If you like Lucifer and Mammon fluff, this season gives it in spades. If neither of those two are your favorite you might have been bummed out. They give Asmo an arc but he ultimately concludes he was trying too hard to be like Lucifer which left me all ?????? How? Satan tutors you, but he doesn’t really deviate from what he usually does (though his minor tiff with Simeon when he’s physically affectionate with us was amusing). The devs did suggest they want to explore Satan’s origins more thoroughly in the future in one of the newsletters, and I think we’re due for that in the next season. There’s hope for the others yet... just not much in this season.

The Future?

I think there’s a high probability that we’ll get a season 3. Nothing about season 2’s ending felt like they were wrapping things up. The season as a whole felt like a transition.

I think we’ll get more romantic scenes with our “undateables” and they won’t officially be considered “undateables” any more. We’ll probably get more cards with them. I’m not sure if they’ll fully graduate into dance battle sprites because that’ll require more creative color assignments for glow sticks, but I wouldn’t entirely discount the possibility. There are many shades in the rainbow.

I think worldbuilding necessitates more exploration of the Celestial Realm, and an eventual conclusion to the game storyline requires officially mending relations between the angels and demons and healing the wounds incurred by both the wars of the distant past and the Great Celestial War (which was essentially a civil war). Such a thing requires an honest dialogue between the two factions for it to ring sincere, not just a continuation of the exchange program. The game doesn’t hesitate in stating how violent all of it was.

To that end, I think we’re going to at least get a full-fledged Michael eventually, though I understand the reluctance to add him due to the work that will follow in adding another handsome man fans will undoubtedly want to make blush and kiss. They may leave him a disembodied voice for as long as they possibly can, but at some point fans will start complaining at the teasing. It’ll be like continually having to skip a missing step on a ladder.

Until then, though, he’s a missing step that’s fun to conceptualize.

You won’t get routes. The setting is ideal for a harem: all the potential love interests loved each other before MC ever entered the picture, so they will eventually accept having to share them, jealousy be damned. I’m pretty sure they’re all aware of MC’s affection towards each of them already: it’s just a matter of contention of which among them MC prefers the most. If MC wants to pursue only one of the brothers, it is up to them to do just that -- in the confines of the presented story.

Conclusion

There were some good story bits to chew on here and there, but as a whole the writing fell flatter than season 1’s writing, in spite of the predictability in the latter. The general unpredictability of this season has made things more exciting than the conclusion we eventually arrived at; it’s hard to commend it when it just doesn’t lead to something intriguing.

Welp, at least we get time to level up our cards for the next season. I only have three URs so it was pretty rough.

I’ll probably do more analysis and essays in the interim, as I work through hard mode and think more about stuff. It’s been fun, in spite of my critique.

#obey me!#obey me #obey me spoilers #obey me season 2 #obey me season 2 review #review

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dietraumerei · 4 years

Text

Weekly Writing and Reading Update

I went for a long walk in the snow and had a really aggravating text conversation with my mother, so swings and roundabouts today!

I do like that we get all our snow over within two days, and it’ll all be melted by Tuesday and we can get back to a relatively warm, grey PNW winter.

Writing

To be honest, I’m still mostly not writing, and I’m kind of really enjoying it. I can see writing for an hour or so most weekday mornings, and then maybe more on weekends, but I’m not pushing myself to have the kind of insane output I’ve managed over the last few years. I still have a bazillion stories to tell, I’m just...taking my time, I guess. It feels nice, and I’m not salty about falling rates of feedback or whatever anymore.

I know my own heart: Femslash February 2021 Collection: still steadily updating with a story a day; I’ve only got a few more to write. This whole planning-ahead thing is GENIUS; I feel so much less rushed and burnt-out than I have in past month-long challenges. (I am also, somewhat delightfully, missing writing them as male-presenting! It’s been so long!) Later stories seem to be turning out longer, too, which has been rather nice.

What Inheritance Is : A new chapter yesterday, and I’m about halfway through the next one. I think when I finish that the really worst of the story will be over, and it’ll be a lot more enjoyable to write.

Reading

I finished Lindy West’s Shit, Actually which was fine. Good, really; it’s just a book that really benefits from not being binged; it can get kind of repetitive. It’s funny film commentary, though, and very relaxing to read even though I have mostly not need the movies she reviews. (I did have to stop and breathe deeply when reading her review/recap of Reality Bites, a movie I watched way way way too much in high school because OH MY GOD the truth bombs! It hit me in my heart and I feel seen and god, what a shitty film. Also, so, uh, gender and race in the 90′s! Super fucked up, huh!!) I don’t know if I’ll ever re-read this, but it was very relaxing to spend a few days on.

Okay, technically I have like ten more pages to go, but I’m going to finish Patrick Leigh Fermor’s A Time of Gifts today, so I’ll write about it now. It’s the first part of his long foot-journey from England to Constantinople; this ends with him in Hungary. It’s wonderful; he’s very self-aware of how young and bold he was (there’s...a lot of kind of Empire-y self-confidence), and of course he was travelling through a world about to be forever changed. He journeyed in the 30′s; a point when the landscape had begun to heal from WWI, but of course he visits towns and things that will be essentially destroyed in WWII. Nazis are there, especially as he moves through Germany, and it’s terrifying reading particularly at this time.

It’s beautiful, though; sometimes you just let it wash over you and live in a world now wholly gone. Weirdly, the only thing really missing -- there’s no map of the route he takes! It kind of helps things stand on their own, but it would have been nice to be able to follow him in that way.

#weekly update

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hakuogakuen · 4 years

Text

Hijikata Emails: Walkthrough

Hi, all! Since we’re almost done checking all the routes and emails, and since I had some time, I thought I would review email formatting and start some walkthrough posts to complement our full translations. -Dei

This (partial) text mirrors the original email posts, so just as then, primary translation by yuugs and primary proofreading by kuririn, with further contributions by shizuumi, MaiMaiOtome, and a member of the otogelib server who preferred to remain unnamed.

The purpose of this post is to identify the “correct” responses to emails in Hakuouki: SSL. In the game, each email and minigame is a chance to collect points for buying extra goodies like stories and voice options from Ibuki. So here are the ones that’ll earn you those sweet, sweet points!

~Walkthrough below the cut~

1. 本当、あの野郎は……

Sub: Seriously, that brat…

That was a real disaster, huh, Yukimura.

Geez, that punk Kazama is totally hopeless.

Let me know right away if he harasses you from now on.

Reply with:

→ ありがとうございます……。 [Thank you so much…]

2. 頑張れよ

Sub: Do your best

A teacher really shouldn’t send a private email to a student.

………

But let’s just say I’m worried.

…I can’t really help you, but do your best.

Reply with:

→ はい、頑張ります！ [Yes, I’ll do my best!]

3. さっきの話だけどな

Sub: About earlier

Let me just say one thing.

…Thanks for earlier.

Reply with:

→ 永倉先生のことですか？ [The thing with Nagakura-sensei?]

4. 終了までもうひと息

Sub: Take another break before it’s over

You’ve noticed it’s already time, right?

The culture festival’s over.

Did you have fun?

There were several issues,

but you did well until the very end.

Reply with:

→ 大丈夫です。でも終わりだと少し寂しいですね…… [I’m fine. It’s a little sad that it’s over…]

5. あのペンダントは……。

Sub: About that pendant…

Yukimura. It’s Hijikata.

It might be insensitive of me to say this, but…

Don’t go telling the other guys about that pendant

from before and let them go around touching it.

A lot of guys will want to get in the way if they find out.

Reply with:

→ 私たちだけの秘密ですね。 [It’ll be our little secret.]

6. あけましておめでとう

Sub: Happy New Year

Happy New Year again, Yukimura.

I know we already talked about exchanging emails,

but I was bored, so I just went ahead and sent you a message.

……I’m not good at being patient.

Well, I managed to get across what I wanted to tell you earlier, more or less.

Though it wasn’t really anything important…

Take care of yourself, so that you can be healthy

when you go back to school after the holidays.

Reply with:

→ 土方先生も、お体にお気をつけて [Take care of your health, too, Hijikata-sensei.]

7. 総司を見てねえか！？

Sub: Have you seen Souji!?

I swear, all that punk does is cause problems, time after time…!

Hey, Yukimura.

Have you seen Souji?

If you see him, please contact me immediately.

Reply with:

→ わ、わかりました [I-I understand.]

8. 夜間の外出について

Sub: About going out at night

It’s Hijikata.

It seems like the number of students messing around

in the area around our school late at night has been increasing recently.

I’m not worried about you specifically, but…

Don’t go out late at night.

Reply with:

→ 夜に遊び歩いたりしません [I don’t go out at night.]

9. ……ただの愚痴だ

Sub: …Just a silly complaint

I wouldn’t normally talk to you about something like this,

but I feel that the others would laugh at me, so I want your opinion.

It’s about when I found a lost child the other day.

I thought I’d try and find his parents,

but when I tried to talk to him, he started crying out of nowhere…

……Do I have a face that makes women

and children cry when they look at it?

Reply with:

→ そんなことはないと思います [I don’t think that’s the case.]

#hijikata toshizo #hakuouki #hakuoki #hakuouki ssl #hakuouki ssl English #fan translation #otome #walkthrough #hakuouki emails

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fynslife · 4 years

Text

Thoughts re Bryce x Hunt (HOEAB)

(spoilers, duh / also spoilers for TOG and ACOTAR)

TW: I do mention canonical abuse and drug use in passing

I recently finished Crescent City (HOEAB) after putting off reading it for a while given the numerous reviews about the heavy world-building in the first 300 pages or so. Safe to say I have some thoughts on the novel, namely that I think it’s the weakest of Sarah’s works when considered in the same vacuum as TOG and ACOTAR. I’ll probably do a full review at some point, but today I just wanted to say a bit about my thoughts on Bryce and Hunt as a couple, because I need to know if I’m the only one that feels this way lmao.

I think what’s bothered me most about the pairing of Bryce and Hunt aka Quinlar, is that I don’t really feel that Bryce had a choice in her relationship. Please hear me out. In their respective series, Aelin and Feyre both, in my opinion, have a good level of autonomy over their romantic choices, and I don’t feel that this is the case for Bryce. In TOG, Celaena/Aelin initially chooses between Dorian and Chaol, and then later finds love with Rowan. We see Aelin develop through her relationships, experience her perspectives and priorities change and therefore we as readers are happy with the choices she makes that eventually lead her away from Chaol, and to Rowan. Aelin grows as a person and realizes what she both needs and wants in a partner as the series progresses, which allows her to find and accept her mate. Throughout the series, Aelin has always had romantic options, so seeing her end up with Rowan feels natural and right, and comes after she has explored relationships that naturally dissolve on their own.

Similarly with Feyre in ACOTAR, while the situation is different in that Tamlin is abusive, Feyre still retains autonomy in her choice of romantic partner. Rhys doesn’t try to stop her being with Tamlin, he just works hard to give her the space to sort through her emotions and work out what she wants and needs on her own. When she does choose Rhys, we as readers know exactly why as we’ve seen their relationship blossom from her perspective, and so we support it! Feyre doesn’t choose Rhys because there are no other options – she chooses him because time and time again he has proven to be her match. Rhys earns Feyre’s love, and this is against the backdrop that Feyre is beautiful and desired by most Fae, so she really could have picked anyone!

In contrast, when I look at Bryce and Hunt I feel there’s a bit of a sticking point. At the start of HOEAB we’re presented with Connor, and throughout the novel we get insights into how Bryce feels/felt about him. Bryce’s thoughts essentially boil down to she knew they were going to end up together and she was happy and excited for that future. The only reason they hadn’t got together yet was because she wasn’t done with her party days and she was nervous about how strongly she felt for him, at least that’s how each Connor flash back read to me. It’s evident, in my opinion, that he was her mate. They knew it and so did everyone else. It was only a matter of timing, but they were unquestionably, inevitable. Bold of me to say, I know. So when Connor died (I had no idea that this was coming as I didn’t read the blurb beforehand) I was blindsided. I kept expecting him to come back somehow, as to me it was clear that he was the preferred romantic partner for Bryce. Cue Hunt’s entrance to the narrative.

If I sound a little bit salty now, it’s because I am! Hunt is introduced and it becomes clear that this is going to be Bryce’s new partner, based on that fact that aesthetically he fits the descriptor bracket of both Rhys and Rowan respectively. In my opinion, their romantic arc is a bit lazy. To link this back to what I’ve already said about TOG and ACOTAR, I feel that Bryce has essentially no choice now when choosing her partner. The relationships we saw her in before Connor died were marked as frivolous and meaningless, and her would-be boyfriend is then murdered before Sarah even tries to lift their relationship off the ground. This leaves Bryce with no significant former romantic relationships (unlike Aelin and Feyre) and really no other romantic pursuits as the book progresses. We are immediately supposed to jump aboard the Quinlar ship, even though we have no one else to root for. Hunt is (at this moment in time) Bryce’s only viable option for a romantic interest in the novel.

Bryce doesn’t choose Hunt because he’s the best person in the line up, she chooses him because he’s the only person in the line up. Yes you can debate that once they’re friends this is a different case, but initially, and for a good portion of the novel, Hunt is the only viable male we see her interacting with with any sort of regularity. Does this not feel slightly Tamlin-esque to anyone else? Not in terms of abuse, as Hunt clearly does not display any abusive traits, but in the sense that when Feyre/Bryce are at their lowest, Tamlin/Hunt appear in the narrative, and provide them with the ‘love’ and support they both so desperately crave.

Now this isn’t to say that Bryce and Hunt don’t have some good moments, because they do! What bothers me, is that unlike Feyre and Aelin I don’t feel that Bryce has had the same space to choose her partner. I think Sarah knew that if she didn’t kill Connor right away, the Bryce x Connor ship would be too strong and wouldn’t leave the door ajar for Bryce x Hunt. I think she knew the only way she could’ve made Bryce x Hunt the preferred ship would be to completely torch Connor’s character in the second or third book, or to kill him off at a later point. I personally don’t feel that Bryce and Hunt would’ve ended up together, had Connor not been killed. I recognize that you could argue the murder is a necessary plot device, but I think it’s a lazy one! Killing off Connor is the easiest way to avoid having to resolve ship-conflict, or having to explore the idea of loving two people at once if that’s the route she wanted to take idk.

It’s possible SJM will bring Connor back in a later book, I noted that there are necromancers in this world so it’s not completely off the table I don’t think, but if she does I worry it’ll just be a throwaway plot line to solidify Bryce and Hunt.

As the novel is classified as an “Adult” read, I just wish that SJM had done more to explore grittier aspects of romance. Ie. the loving two people at once, dealing with grief and loss and seeking an equilibrium after that, or even just a more serious look at Bryce’s drug abuse?! There were so many opportunities that I feel got skipped over in favour of a hastily patched together romance (forged by trauma no less, yikes) and an at-times hard to follow murder investigation.

As I said at the start, I think HOEAB is the weakest of SJM’s books that I’ve read, which is disappointing, as we know she can do better. It’s also worth noting that I don’t hate Bryce and Hunt together, I just feel that Bryce lacked autonomy in her romantic choices because SJM quite literally killed off her only other option. I would’ve liked to have seen some deviation from the norm of love interest – I’m as much a fan of wings as the next person, but must all the key love interests be aesthetically the same just in different fonts? Could we not have run with the sexy werewolf just this once?

Anyway this was a bit of a ramble, but did anyone else feel like this? I have a lot of thoughts on the book but none of my friends have read it yet and I need to process with someone, so pls do hit me up xo

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rayneul · 4 years

Text

Ray Route Bad Ending 3 Guide

(donʼt/never answer messages it give good heart so i suggest dont answer it :))

Day 1 & 2: skips days

Day 3: (100%)

00:31 – Under the Shimmering

Selection 1 I wanted to chill out more and then go to sleep. (Nothing)

Selection 2 I think your biorhythm will break living like that. (Nothing)

Selection 3 God, finally we’ll have some peace and silence.

Selection 4 Are you in a motorcycle gang? (Nothing)

Selection 5 Share with me some photos of your driver’s license, if you have some. (Nothing)

Selection 6 Wow! It’s you when you were younger! (Nothing)

Selection 7 You’re here to see me!! (Nothing)

Selection 8 Aren’t motorcycles dangerous? (Nothing)

Selection 9 When you’re feeling frustrated and all, playing games are the best! 0% accidents! (Nothing)

Selection 10 Tell me what happened back then. (Nothing)

Selection 11 V, you’re quite persistent. (Nothing)

Selection 12 Trying to deny it by myself is too hard. I need some help here. (Nothing)

Selection 13 Zen, what were you like back in the days? (Nothing)

Selection 14 You still look promising. (Nothing)

Selection 15 I lie low for a while. (Nothing)

Selection 16 V, do you normally clock in such late hours? (Nothing)

Selection 17 V, you go well with wine! (Nothing)

Selection 18 Good bye! (Nothing)

Selection 19 You have a lot to worry about. (Nothing)

Selection 20 I’m going to stay up late. (Nothing)

02:46 – Paradox of the Survival of the Fittest

Selection 1 I was testing the game you gave me. (Ray)

Selection 2 If you have something to say, come over yourself. (Nothing)

Selection 3 Then it’ll bloom twice as much flowers! (Nothing)

Selection 4 I feel sad for the weaker stalk… (Ray)

Selection 5 There’s nothing you can do, it’s nature’s way of survival of the fittest. (Nothing)

Selection 6 You’re right. The weaker stalk was the one that sacrificed! (Ray)

Selection 7 Wow…I’ll look forward to it, Ray! (Nothing)

Selection 8 It was fun. With hidden morals and all…. (Ray)

Selection 9 Ray, when are you going to sleep? (Nothing)

07:00 – Take Care of Your Health

Selection 1 Change your glasses into sunglasses lol (Nothing)

Selection 2 Huh. The name’s even suspicious for a start. (Nothing)

Selection 3 Isn’t that just a bunch of powders and not a drink? (Nothing)

Selection 4 Reports to police right now☆ (Nothing)

Selection 5 Send in an ingredients review documents as well. (Nothing)

Selection 6 You don’t even know the prices at the convenience stores? You must be joking! (Nothing)

Selection 7 Throwing it out down the drain…of something oyu made with great difficulty… T_T (707)

Selection 8 In other words, you’re distracted. (Nothing)

Selection 9 Tell me more of this cleaning fairy. (Nothing)

Selection 10 Awesome! Why don’t we learn its secret cleaning methods at the party? (Email from cleaningfairy)

Selection 11 Jaehee, good morning! (Nothing)

Selection 12 You are very persistent. (Nothing)

Selection 13 You just came in. Are you already leaving? (Nothing)

Selection 14 You really have only two friends? (707)

Selection 15 1011011…… (707)

Selection 16 It wasn’t too far. It was way way too far. (Nothing)

Selection 17 Stop getting distracted and get to work. (Nothing)

09:13 – Back in the Days

Selection 1 Did you get your license renewed? (Nothing)

Selection 2 I’m actually tired of seeing it since I’ve seen it numerous times. (Nothing)

Selection 3 Oh! I suppose the roads were familiar to you – (Nothing)

Selection 4 You must be happy. (Nothing)

Selection 5 It must have been worthwhile! (Zen)

Selection 6 Zen, I invite you to the room of mirrors. (Nothing)

Selection 7 I wanna be – most very best – (Nothing)

Selection 8 Great! I’ll catch Backpack Monsters by inviting him to the party. (Email from bmonster)

Selection 9 My eyes are screaming out with joy! (Nothing)

Selection 10 Welcome! (Nothing)

Selection 11 I want to see that performance- (Nothing)

Selection 12 AI role….?It must have been easy for an AI to play an AI role. (Ray)

Selection 13 Skin conditions are alwayd better when you’re young… (Nothing)

Selection 14 I want to know whom he’s having the meeting with – (Nothing)

Selection 15 It’s my father-in-law^^ (Nothing)

Selection 16 He would have received some hardcore education. (Nothing)

Selection 17 They have few things in common, but they’re also different – (Nothing)

Selection 18 A virtual world of their own… (Nothing)

Selection 19 Enjoy your meal- (Nothing)

Selection 20 Are you worried? (Nothing)

Selection 21 It kind of bothers me that there’s a secret V keeps even from his friends.

Selection 22 Bye- (Nothing)

12:22 – My Best Friend

Selection 1 I did- (Nothing)

Selection 2 Of course! Friends are really dear. (Nothing)

Selection 3 You’re friends with flower^^ (Ray)

Selection 4 I like lily-of-the-valley! (Nothing)

Selection 5 You can! Though more time would be needed. (Ray)

Selection 6 I’m jealous… (Ray)

Selection 7 I don’t think you’re obsessed with me. I’m just glad that you seem to care for me a lot! (Ray)

Selection 8 Who is this person? (Nothing)

Selection 9 I want to be with you…! My mind will not change. (Ray)

Selection 10 I want to see you today, Ray! (Ray)

14:09 – Small Cute Adorable

Selection 1 Is something wrong? (Nothing)

Selection 2 What’s your real job? (Nothing)

Selection 3 I secured your portrait of the deceased. Thanks. (Nothing)

Selection 4 I understand her. She must’ve been surprised to learn that your mission is a dangerous one… (Nothing)

Selection 5 I pray for your successful mission. (Nothing)

Selection 6 Such a delicate plot… This messenger is truly awesome. (Ray)

Selection 7 Is 3 days enough? Won’t you need a week? (Nothing)

Selection 8 …Let me hear it out first. (Nothing)

Selection 9 I was about to recommend the first one!! (707)

Selection 10 Seven! Sell your car to me! (Nothing)

Selection 11 Since it’s largely influencing the national economy…I think it’ll be larger than what we imagine… (Nothing)

Selection 12 Okay…Good bye. (Nothing)

Selection 13 I’m a person with a fragile wallet that gets billed with withholding tax. (Nothing)

Selection 14 Wouldn’t V’s mother’s hair color have been mint? (Nothing)

Selection 15 I wish a dragon would come to the party…. (707)

Selection 16 Let’s make an equal world for everyone together! (707)

Selection 17 Whoa… (Nothing)

Selection 18 Okay! Let’s invite it! (Email from dark dragon)

Selection 19 Wow- (Nothing)

Selection 20 You’ve put your effort in trying to find the most ordinary person! (Nothing)

Selection 21 We’re already too ordinary, and I don’t think we need to invite this person! (707)

Selection 22 What are you talking about? I’m sure you’re not really flying thorough the sky…. (Nothing)

Selection 23 Sounds dangerous…. (Nothing)

Selection 24 I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust all of Seven’t words. I mean, we’ve seen him playing tricks a lot….(Jaehee)

Selection 25 The party might become more interesting! (Jumin)

Selection 26 You don’t think V told those two to recommend only the weird guests to pretend to be holding a party, do you? (Ray)

Selection 27 I should pick up and finish up the work I was doing- (Nothing)

16:32 – Precious friend

Selection 1 V! Hi! (Nothing)

Selection 2 I think it’ll be fun! (Nothing)

Selection 3 Two friends gathered in a chatroom ^^ (Nothing)

Selection 4 Did you exchange any secrets? (Ray)

Selection 5 Is it a humiliating secrets that you can’t share with me? (Nothing)

Selection 6 V, you have a lot of secrets… What kind of secrets are you hiding from your father? (Ray)

Selection 7 I think it’ll be a good occasion to get together. (Jumin)

Selection 8 I think it’s was Jumin’s way of being considerate of you- (Jumin)

Selection 9 Do you have any stories…like secrets regarding V? (Ray)

Selection 10 Church…? I don’t think that type of religion can heal people. (Ray)

Selection 11 Who sang better? (Nothing)

Selection 12 So, who won? (Nothing)

Selection 13 Yes…Sometimes an emotional decision can worsen the situation. (Ray + Jumin)

Selection 14 Don’t you think this sadness isn’t something you can overcome? (Ray)

Selection 15 Bye. (Nothing)

Selection 16 I think Rika was more unfortunate. (Ray)

Selection 17 I’m going to take a break now! Take care! (Nothing)

18:24 – Explosion of Emotions

Selection 1 Yes, I did. (Nothing)

Selection 2 Doesn’t it feel like everyone is hiding something? (Ray)

Selection 3 Welcome, Zen the Gorgeous – (Nothing)

Selection 4 We were talking about Jumin. (Yoosung)

Selection 5 You should be nice to your relatives. (Nothing)

Selection 6 Whoa….isn’t that harsh? It was their daughter’s funeral…. (Yoosung)

Selection 7 Rika was adopted? (Nothing)

Selection 8 I didn’t know since Rika had a bright image… (Nothing)

Selection 9 It’s not easy to trust someone with secrets. (Nothing)

Selection 10 I think having someone next to you would help ^^; (Zen)

Selection 11 Yup. It is a heal-all-potion, the panacea. (Zen)

Selection 12 Don’t treat Yoosung like a child. He’s an adult. (Nothing)

Selection 13 I don’t think it’s a good idea to enforce your method. (Nothing)

Selection 14 Everyone might become more light-hearted when everyone reveals the truth! (Ray)

Selection 15 Seven maybe has a heart made of steel? (Nothing)

Selection 16 You can right through the wind with a VR game. (Nothing)

Selection 17 I hope you’re not taking your motorcycle for a trip around your neighborhood! (Nothing)

20:11 – Reason Behind the Curiosity

Selection 1 You’re on your way here? Wow… (Ray)

Selection 2 I’m not in my room yet…. (Nothing)

Selection 3 How much do you like me? (Ray)

Selection 4 I actually feel good. (Ray)

Selection 5 I acted naturally, not trying to pry out secrets. The AIs felt really natural…. (Nothing)

Selection 6 Yes! (Nothing)

Story Mode – Going to the Garden… And She Doesn’t Make a Run For It

- Aren’t you busy? (Nothing)

- You talked about a garden. (Nothing)

- I want to go to that garden fast. (Nothing)

- It’s a little chilly. (Nothing)

- But…just what is this place? (Nothing)

- Already? I don’t want to go back. I feel trapped in there… (Nothing)

21:49 – Powder of the Coordinator!

Selection 1 Hi-ho (Nothing)

Selection 2 Yes-I went for a walk in the gardens. It was great. (Ray)

Selection 3 I don’t know…. (Nothing)

Selection 4 This time it’s an insurance scam? (Nothing)

Selection 5 I’m holding the phone right now. (707)

Selection 6 What else did you find out apart from that? (Nothing)

Selection 7 You really didn’t come in very often before lol (Nothing)

Selection 8 A tad later, please. (Nothing)

Selection 9 I don’t know… Perhaps he’s not sincere about it. (Ray)

Selection 10 Can I change the channel? (Nothing)

Selection 11 Yes, I’ll order one box, please… There’s someone here who needs it… (Nothing)

Selection 12 Bye, Mr. Advertiser. (Nothing)

23:07 – Another Level of Salvation

Selection 1 Hell, Jaehee! You’re up late! (Nothing)

Selection 2 Troubled times, these times… (Jaehee)

Selection 3 I have a bad feeling about this…. (Nothing)

Selection 4 Yes…I hope they stop before they create more victims. (V)

Selection 5 Yoosung, what have you been up to? (Nothing)

Selection 6 Was it effective?

Selection 7 Are you ordering Sevenstar Drink!?

Selection 8 Isn’t that a virus…? (Nothing)

Selection 9 Sniff..I smell something….the smell of a spaceship burning… (707)

Selection 10 I’m thankful that he’s became brighter… (Jaehee)

Selection 11 Go back to the game.

Selection 12 Sounds like good words, but it’s always better to do an adequate amount of good deed. (Nothing)

Selection 13 It may be happiness to those that want to be saved by force…

Selection 14 Why don’t we, the RFA, inherit and continue that!?

Selection 15 Yoosung, it might be time for you to look for professional help. (Nothing)

Selection 16 Whoa, interesting! (Nothing)

Selection 17 Let’s invite him! I wonder what his next costume will be after the leopard. (Email from neuropsychiatry)

Selection 18 Yoosung, you’re leaving in a speed of light. (Nothing)

Selection 19 I think he just needs a way to vent out like that for now. (Jaehee)

Selection 20 I think I should get some rest too.

#mystic messenger #ray route

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jungwooisms · 5 years

Text

135 notes · View notes

jokertrap-ran · 4 years

Photo

[Gakuen K] Kusanagi Izumo Route: It’s so Kusanagi-esque Translation

*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラン) *Gakuen K Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut !

Ran: (Mmngh…it’s so hot out today…I’m still thirsty no matter how much water I drink…)

Ran: Maybe I should just bulk-buy some drinks or something…

Izumo: Are ya’ headin’ to the School Store?

Ran: Kusanagi-san!

Izumo: You’re better of not goin’; you’ll be wastin’ a trip there since all the drinks have already been sold out.

Ran: Eh? For real?

Izumo: Yeah. I suppose…It’ll be another 3 hours before they get their next batch of stock.

Ran: Aw man…Thanks for telling me though.

Ran: Where are you heading to?

Izumo: Where do ya’ think?

Ran: …To peek at the pool lessons?

Izumo: Ahaha. Are you still troubled ‘bout what I said the other time?

Izumo: Well…I only got excited ‘bout and all because I was reminiscing my school days, ya’ see?

Izumo: Actually, I’d be a suspicious person on the school grounds if I came here with that intention in mind. No, I’ll practically be a criminal!

Ran: Then…Where are you going?

Izumo: I’m here to deliver the Sports Drinks that the Sports Club wanted.

Ran: The Sports Club?

Izumo: ‘Right. This school’s well-known for it’s Clubs after all.

Izumo: So this is to ensure that they don’t all collapse under the hot sun. In any case, I’m just acting on the Headmaster’s orders.

Izumo: Oh, yes. I’ll give ya’ one too.

Ran: Can I really have it?

Izumo: Sure, don’t worry ‘bout it. This is a sample I got from the vendor.

Izumo: They wanted me to review it for them so tell me if it tastes good, ‘kay?

Ran: Okay, I got it.

Izumo: See ya’ then.

Ran: Oh! Wait, Kusanagi-san!

Izumo: What’s up?

Ran: Ah!! There’s an unbelievably cute girl walking over there!!

Izumo: What ya’ say!?

Izumo: ……Heck, Kamamoto!?

Ran: ……!!

Izumo: Did I…Did I just fall for your trick?|

Ran: Totally.

Ran: (Although, Kamamoto actually being there was just a mere coincidence…)

Izumo: You…

Ran: I apologise. I was just wondering if you really meant it when you said that your excitement back then was only out of nostalgia…

Izumo: …I see? So, what have you concluded?

Ran: Well…I suppose it’s just like you to do so; it’s Kusanagi-esque.

Izumo: Kusanagi-esque?

Ran: Yup. The way you react without a moment’s hesitation when a cute girl’s involved.

Ran: And also…the fact that you aren’t getting angry with me right now, and that you’re actually listening to me with a cool head.

Ran: Sorry for doing something so unpleasant.

Izumo: It’s fine. Even I pick on people sometimes…So don’t go making such a face.

Izumo: I fell for your gimmick, so laugh. You deserve it. Besides, a smile’s best suited on your face.

Ran: Kusanagi-san…

Izumo: --Oops. Isn’t your lunch break ‘bout to end?

Ran: Ah! Oh no- I have to get back to the classroom!

Ran: Sorry, Kusanagi-san! And thank you for the drink!!

Izumo: Sure thing, all the best for your afternoon classes!

»» ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♔◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ««

Next Scene: Commence! The secret Clean-up Operation!

#Gakuen K #Gakuen K: Wonderful School Days #K project #Otome #Translations #Kusanagi Izumo #Sakurai Takahiro #Yata Misaki #Totsuka Tatara #Suoh Mikoto #Gakuen K Izumo Route

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 4 years

Text

Riverdale 5x06 Thoughts.

So I did a part one of a review when the episode first aired focusing on the Barchie elements of the episode and I said I was going to post a second half to the review covering the rest of the episode the next and well I didn’t. Truth is my mental health has taken a bit of a dip, lets say, the last couple of weeks so I wasn’t as active on here. I’m still not feeling 100% so I’m not really up to a whole ass review but I figured I could manage some general thoughts to share with you whilst waiting for the next episode as I can’t watch until tomorrow. Obviously there are spoilers and as always these are just my own opinions.

1) Jughead, Tabitha and The Mothmen.

I am still loving the dynamic between Tabitha and Jughead and I love that she is being supportive of his writing. Like when she said to him that as the diner was empty he could work on his writing, how she tracked down Old Man Dreyfuss and talked him into telling Jug about the Mothmen, She let him interview her for the book too. I said before that one of my issues with Jughead was that he often used other peoples stories for his novels without their permission but he seems to have learnt from this as here he is getting permission from the people that he is talking to and they know that he is going to be writing a book about them. I think its ok for Jughead to draw inspiration from others stories so long as he those he is writing about are in the know and are ok with it.

Another thing that I am really happy about but which might be an unpopular opinion to some but I am so glad they didn’t go the same route they did as Lucas in OTH where Jughead can finally write again because he’s around Betty. As much as I loved Leyton in OTH I did think that was a very unhealthy representation/ aspect of a relationship. A person should have to depend on another person to be able to do the thing they love. Like I get that it’s suppose to be romantic but its a bit too co-dependant in my opinion and don’t think that’s healthy, you should be able to be your own person, with your own talents and skills that aren’t going to be taken away from you just because you are no longer with that other person. What I do love is that it was coming back to Pop’s, to his roots essentially and writing about something that means something to him (Pop Tate) that helps him get back into writing as oppose to a love interest.

Speaking of love interests though I do think that Jughead and Tabitha’s relationship will likely develop into a romantic relationship. To me I did get very flirty vibes coming from her. He also seemed very impressed with her when he found out she left a six figure job to take over Pop’s I think Jughead appreciates the passion that Tabitha clearly has for the business which we know that Jughead himself has a special bond with Pop’s so I think that gives them a bit of a connection that they both love this diner. I do hope though that if they do take it to the romantic level that they take their time with it and not rush into it too quickly. I also hope we don’t end up in the same pattern as before either where Jug is only interacting with his love interest. So far Jug hasn’t really had many other scenes with characters other than Tabitha so I am hoping we will see him interacting with others soon.

As far as the Mothmen mystery goes I am actually intrigued by it. It is really bizarre that all of Dreyfuss’ friends died from cancer and how he was talking about how his friend would be taken up on the ship. I am curious if they are actually going to go the whole alien route and introduce supernatural elements into the show or whether it’ll turn out to have a wacky human explanation. But so far I am enjoying that mystery.

2) Veronica and Chad.

Ok this really is probably an unpopular opinion and I do want to just say that I am not hating on Veronica here I do still love her as a character but there are some things she does that I just don’t understand/agree with. Like this whole jewellery shop idea. I mean the main plot of the time jump so far has been about how Riverdale is dying and how nobody in Riverdale has any money, that they are all poor and suffering and Veronica gets the wonderful idea of opening a high end jewellery store. Who exactly does she think is going to be buying this high end jewellery exactly? The residents of Riverdale very obviously can’t afford to shop there. So the only other place she could get patrons from is SoDale who we know are rich and are near enough to give her a steady stream of business. Here’s my issue with that, it would once again mean that Veronica is saying she doesn’t support her Father’s schemes whilst also profiting/ benefitting from them. I do think this issue is covered a bit in this episode when she says she needs to decide if she’s more of a Pop’s girl or a Mia’s girl, or a bit of both. Well I can tell you right now the answer to that at this moment in time is a bit of both. Veronica has always had one foot on either side of the fence when it comes to her Father’s schemes and the family business. To be honest this has always bothered me a bit and I do hope one day she just picks a side instead of balancing between the two. I mean I could be totally wrong and the writers could have Veronica reveal an elaborate business plans for the jewellery shop that is going to bring in a ridiculous amount of revenue for Riverdale without including SoDale, I mean I don’t know much about how business works.

I did feel like Veronica was a little bit all over the place this episode and to be honest pretty much all post time jump episodes so far. I do want to make it clear that this isn’t a criticism I do think this was intentional by the writers to show how confused and undecisive Veronica is feeling at the moment. I mean she clearly wasn’t happy when Chad first showed up in her class, which by the way was so inappropriate. Like I understand how it might be sweet to surprise your wife at work with flowers and cupcakes but wait in the staff room until she goes on break and surprise her there not when she’s trying to work. It was very obvious that Veronica did not feel comfortable with him sitting at the back of her class. Especially as we see him there again later in the episode so this seems to be a recurring thing. It’s very worrying behaviour. However she is then very warm with him and is making plans with him after they sing Shallow together. You know this scene was lowkey really cute until you remember that Chad is controlling and possessive and then I was kind of mad at myself for being tricked even for only a blip into thinking he was a sweet guy. He and Veronica actually seemed to have it together for a moment there were they had worked out a plan for when they were going to spend time in Riverdale and when they would be in New York and they both seemed happy with the compromise. However Veronica then found out that Chad had spoken to her Dad and was upset by this. Now I’ll be honest this part annoyed me a little. Not because I don’t think she was right to ask for space, I think she was 100% correct in asking for that if space is what she felt like she needed I just don’t think it was that well written. It was painted like Chad had betrayed Veronica and talked to her Dad behind her back when it seemed to me more like it was Hiram going behind Veronica’s back and approaching her husband with the job offer. I mean if Chad was intentionally talking and making plans behind V’s back with Hiram then I don’t think he would have mentioned it so casually to her. I wouldn’t be surprised at all to find out that Hiram either approached Chad because he wanted to control Chad or he was aware that finding out he had been talking to Hiram would upset and Veronica and so Hiram did it deliberately to drive a wedge between Veronica and Chad. I do wish we could have actually seen the conversation between Chad and Hiram I don’t know that scene just seemed a bit off to me it didn’t seem as dramatic as it was probably intended to be. I just didn’t get the sense that on that occasion Chad had really done anything wrong. I mean her Dad offered him a job and then he brought up in conversation with her to see if it was something she would be ok with/ get her thoughts on. To me it seemed much more like Hiram was the one being sneaky as oppose to Chad. Also more of a side point here but I do find it ironic that las episode she was practically begging her Dad to talk to her husband and this episode it’s the fact the her Dad spoke to her husband that makes her decide to send him away again, I just found that kind of funny though I know they are very different situations but still. But like I said I do completely support Veronica’s decision to say that she needs space from him so that she can figure out what she wants and who she is without the pressure of him hanging over her shoulder. Sometimes the best thing for a relationship is some space. I just hope that she maintains a steady conversation with him during this time if her marriage is still something she wants. I mean she didn’t technically break up with him, or at least it didn’t seem that way. She hasn’t ended their marriage. If its a case of she knows she doesn’t want to make the marriage work then I think she does need to end it completely and be clear that its over as at the moment it does seem a bit like they are in limbo.

Also again this is another thing where I am in complete support of Veronica deciding she wants to change her name back to her maiden name but I again think it kind of came out of nowhere. Like I understood her not being happy about where her relationship was at and that she was confused and trying to figure out what she wanted and so needed some space from her husband but she hadn’t really made any indication that she wanted to change her name back before then. I again I just think it could have been slightly better written. Like even something as little as her having a conversation with a friend about how she wasn’t sure she liked being called Gekko. Instead it just seemed a bit random. Also again she didn’t have a conversation about this with Chad her husband. Now I’m not saying she needed permission from Chad to change her name back but I do think it is something that warrants a conversation with them even if its a ‘I’m changing my name back to my maiden name and this is why.’ It’s not about a woman asking a man for the right to do something its about a married couple having open and honest communication between them and that is something that Chad and Veronica very clearly struggle with. Again just to reiterate I am in full support of Veronica changing her name if she wants I just feel like whilst the writing this season has been heaps better I still think they are struggling to write Veronica’s storylines well. It doesn’t help that I don’t have a whole lot of interest in her storylines. I don’t like her husband so naturally I don’t enjoy that storyline. I’ve seen her go up against her Father and yet still want in on the family business more times than I can count so any disagreements she has with her father don’t really interest me either and I also don’t particularly care about this whole Jewellery store plotline either but who knows maybe it will surprise me. I think my main gripe is that I feel like they either have Veronica’s storyline’s this season revolve around the men in her life or they use her as a plot device in the shape of a financial aide to move the plot along when they need it, like her funding the football team or funding the fire station and personally I think Veronica deserves better than that. I just wish they would give her a meaningful plotline about what a strong independent business savvy woman she is. Like I said I am hoping this Jewellery store plotline might have some intrigue to it so fingers crossed.

3) Back To School

I was actually pleasantly surprised by this storyline. I honestly thought I would hate it but it makes sense to the story as far as Riverdale logic goes anyway. I also think each subject the characters teach fit them perfectly, English for Jughead yup perfect makes sense, Shop for Betty again I can see that we’ve seen her work on cars in the past so we know she has that knowledge, economics for Veronica again makes sense she’s a business woman and then Archie running the RROTC which was what he was assigned to Riverdale to do it also looks like he’s going to become a coach to the football team which again makes sense for his character. Also I loved how relatable the students were. Like the one who asked Betty if her dad was the Black Hood. Typical and accurate teen behaviour there. Also the students who were trolling Jughead for being a waiter was very accurate to me but more than that I loved Jug’s reaction them he just was so over it. I especially liked how he was just like not going to co operate fine pop quiz, this was very in line with his character in my opinion.

One thing that did bother me a little was, well it wasn’t Toni bringing back the Vixen’s I loved that she did that but more that she didn’t tell Archie that’s what she was doing. Like I get it was so they could have that big entrance but I felt bad for the students who wanted to be on the football team and had just been told there was no funding for sports teams and then they see that the Vixens are back. This is as much Archie’s fault as well because he should not have approached the students before securing the funding but again that is in line with his character I love Archie with all my heart but sometimes he is definitely more heart and less brains when it comes to the things he’s passionate about and he does get a little carried away sometimes without thinking things all the way through. But I do feel like Toni could have said something to Archie when she realised he was looking for funding for the football team and that there were students who were looking forward to being apart of the football team, not for Archie’s sake but for the students so that they weren’t blindsided. I mean they are both teachers at the school so I feel like they both should have looked out for those students instead of letting them get let down. It wasn’t a big deal but I do feel like it could have been avoided. I just don’t get what the secrecy was about like why couldn’t Toni say when Archie came to her about the funding that there wasn’t enough for the football team because she had set the money aside for the cheerleading team. I mean that conversation that happened in the hall in front of the students should have happened in that office when Archie came asking for funding and then the whole situation of Archie telling those kids that there was no funding for any sports teams or clubs only for them seconds later to find out that the Vixens were back could have been avoided. I don’t know it just seemed like unnecessary drama. Also it meant that whilst I wanted to celebrate the return of the Vixens I just felt bad for the other students who were clearly feeling let down. Like I said I don’t think it was all Toni or all Archie’s fault but I do think they both made mistakes that could have been avoided though I also appreciate it’s not as dramatic that way.

Speaking of the football team I love Britta. Like we don’t know much about her but I already love her so much and I love how accepting it was that she was part of the Football team like yes break down those gender barriers, girls can play football too. I just love how it was a non issue there was no but you’re a girl you can’t play football. I am looking forward to seeing more of Britta and watching her hold her own against all the boys because you just know she’s going to slay.

Also going back to the Vixens I love that Toni just knew that bringing back the Vixens or ‘stealing’ the Vixens as Cheryl put it was going to bring Cheryl out of Thorn Hill and bring back her fire so to speak. I was so happy to see that red lipstick back. I mean Toni knew exactly what she was doing and I loved her little smirk at the end of that scene. I am hoping that this is the beginning of their reconciliation and I am looking forward to seeing where their story goes. I just hope that Cheryl’s side project of Art fraud isn’t going to cause too much trouble.

4) Polly and the Trucker Mystery.

Well things aren’t looking good for Polly right now. What I will say though is I don’t think that the body they found in the bog is Polly’s I reckon it is Squeaky. Mostly because I saw some audition tapes showing a woman whose daughter had gone missing and who she said was hanging out with the truckers and Betty reveals to her that they have found her daughter’s body. I don’t know for sure if it is in reference to Squeaky/ Lynette but I feel like it probably is. I also feel like its too early for them to be finding Polly I think it’ll be another few episodes before that happens. It might not even be until the mid season finale that we find out what happened to Polly. But Betty is on the case and she tracks down that truckerboy69 dude and flashes her FBI badge at him. I have no idea how the FBI works but do trainee’s really have that much power, like she behaves like a full agent. Can they arrest people and what not or are they suppose to be like supervised on the job at all times because it seems like Betty works her own cases but that doesn’t seem like that would be an accurate representation of an FBI trainee. Also I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be allowed to work a case that involved her own family member but like I said I don’t know anything about the FBI’s workings so who knows.

What Betty does find out is that apparently Polly suddenly and inexplicably freaked out jumped out the cab and took off running and so the guy after failing to get her back in the truck just left her there. Here’s where I am a little confused was the truck with the skeleton on it the same truck that truckerboy69 was driving because they looked different to me? And if no then who was driving the skeleton one and did he kill Polly? I must admit I am intrigued by this mystery. I do think that at some point the Mothmen and the trucker storylines are going to converge and are related in someway. I also wonder what Polly’s freak out was about, did she see the Mothmen, was she on drugs at the time was it a combination of both? I am also curious to know if TBK is involved in this at all or if they are two different serial killers. I saw some theories that Glen is TBK and all I can say to that one is god I hope not just because we’ve already had one FBI agent turn out to be a serial killer we don’t need another and I am still so annoyed about that whole Charles is a serial killer storyline.

I am really happy that Betty and Kevin are having scenes together I have missed their friendship and so its nice to have them interacting. I also like the investigative team of Betty, Kevin and Alice. But I also feel so bad for Alice life sure does like to throw a heck of a lot of lemons at her.

5) Random Points.

So just some random things I liked/ thought here.

The Kevin and Fangs scene in the beginning was super adorable and I really can’t wait to see more of them, I also liked the dynamic between them and Toni living together from that little bit that we saw. Absolute yes to Kevin referring to Toni as Queen T.

I still hate Hiram no surprise there but I am so disappointed in Reggie. I mean setting fire to Archie’s house is one thing but doing it by blocking both exits that’s just straight up attempted murder like he legit planned on burning down the house with both Jughead and Archie inside. It’s something I expect from Hiram I mean lets be real this isn’t the first time he’s tried to kill them both but from Reggie nope not ok with that. I was hoping he was going to have a redemption arc but it looks like they might take him full villain instead because that was dark.

Now that his house is even more damaged than before where are Jughead and Archie going to stay? Or will they get the fire under control before it burns the place down completely? I mean at the moment its contained to outside the house on the porch but we also know there’s no fire department and that looked like a pretty big fire so I can’t even see how they are going to get out of the house let alone how they will put the fire out.

Anyway I can’t think of anything else right now so I am going to leave it there. Looking forward to seeing episode 7 specially as we were left on a bit of a heated cliff hanger.

#riverdale #riverdale review

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lockdownuk · 4 years

Text

Lockdown Diary Part 10

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online. Day 271: Work was dominated by Qfiniti again, including a meeting with Jon and staff from the States, where I found my self taking control to get the next steps in process (and then, Dave Stewart, the SCCM engineer fucked off and put an OOO message on Teams telling me he’s off until Tuesday (it’s Thursday)...and I am off on Monday!) But, I have to say this project does float my boat. Got a text message and then a call from PCH for another laser eye appt this coming Monday at 12.30pm. I mentioned to the lady that phoned that I will have to square it with work (I won’t, but she doesn’t know that) as I can’t afford to lose my job - it just seems the hospital, while under pressue with the admin and the clinic availability - I get it! - just aren’t seeing the issues for the patients. Plus, Peterborough has been declared a Tier 3 from Sunday under the new lockdown scheme, the highest tier. Great...I really want to travel to a highly infected area! managed to find an online booze shop that does Gordon’s and Famous Grouse and will deliver beforee Chrimbo, so I’ve placed the order for dad and Rita’s gift. I spoke with Dad today, he hasn’t heard about his vaccination yet which is a surprise (he’s in the first draft being over 80)

Day 272: Typing on day 273. Work was that manic shit at the end of the dya when I’ve got time off. I am only off on Moday but still had to tie up loose ends, complictaed further by Jon being off next week and Sueanne off this week and the Qfiniti project! In the evening I only mamaged three beers. I ate too much. Plus my sugars were all over the place and way too high! I ordered a torch a couple of days ago (£17), it arrived today. It takes rechargeable batteries or 3 AAAs. Apparently, to get the best performance (i.e. brightness) you need the rechargeable batteries in it, so i charged ‘em. Fucking hell, I’m glad I did - it’s brighter than the sun. It opens up my late walks in winter, for sure.

Day 273: While it was a very late (but sober) night yesterday (gone 4am before lights out) I was up before midday. Usual walking etc. plus gave the bathroom a clean (albeit with wipes, but I did mop the floor - and used the water to also mop the kitchen). Now I am about to stick a pizza in the oven, plus wedges (to have with microwaveable chip shop curry sauce) and watch This Is 40 which is coincidentally on telly tonight - the coincidence being clips of it are on TikTok a lot right now. I am on my second beer and am going to have a smoke right now as well. Lastly for this entry, I have been using my AudioPro speaker today, it pisses me off it’s not WiFi capable but, thru Bt, it does sound fucking good - revisiting James works very well to demonstrate the speaker’s prowess.

Day 274: I have another Paypal a/c. I have been getting emails to my standard gmail account from Paypal saying they are going to charge me £9 for an inactive account which I have been largely ignoring since my paypal a/c has a specific email address. Anyway, I tried to log in, after a password reset and, hey presto, I do have another one, with £35 in it, having just been fleeced of £9 for the aforementioned inactivity, fuckers. It’s registered with the old Market Place address and phone. When I try to transfer the £35 to my card, it wants to confim it’s me by calling the phone, which I can’t amend. Oh, and you can’t contact Paypal direct. Fuck knows what to do! Other than that, usual Sunday, a tad more relaxed since I have tomorrow off, but not that much now I have an eye appointment in Tier 4 Peterborough (it’s been up’d from tier 3)! Up at 1.30 pm (I watched This is 40 and The Guvners last night with lots of beer), feeling worse for wear but, stair climb and a 6 miler acheived!

Day 275: I was at the hospital for 3 hours. The laser clinic didn’t start until 1.30pm so, why my appointment was at 12.20, not even the consultant could understand. 15 minutes of lasering - horrible but I am used to it. It took so long it pretty much fucked my day off up completely. I got a Christmas card from Karen, in the actual post, so, a mail shot. It’s depressing.

Day 276: Back to work and it’s definitely in wind down mode. I’ve decided to compile a list of things I have done this year. It will be on the postive side, such as all the steps I’ve walked and getting an article published about my photography, but it will also include randon facts like getting bitten by a dig twice and not having a haircut. I’ll get it done so I can post in at new year, hopefully be a little inspiring, a little silly and a lot of showing off!

Day 277: Work, again, was quiet. It’s fucking pissing down now, as I type at 21:50, and has been all day. It’s causing havoc and there’s flooding everywhere. I could walk down St. Peter’s Road tonight ‘cos of it (had to go up New Road, Springfield Road, down Latham Road). Soaked a lunhtime and tonight! With a new variant of Coronavirus, France stopped frieght crossing the border. That’s now been resolved but tyeh back log has/is affecting certain food stocks in the shops, of which, fresh veg might affect me for Christams dinner (I plan to do a chicken breast with stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkshire pud and shed loads of veg. I’ll nip to Co-Op tomorrow morning and see what’s vaialble. It’s a half day at work ‘cos of Christmas Eve, so I can nip out somewhere in the car if need be, as ong as the flooding has subsided. Or I could just get shitfaced and have burgers and pizza.

Day 278: Christmas Eve. Sueanne let me finish at 11.00am so, very shortly thereafter, off for a walk I went; it turned out to be a stop/start affair - flooding as the Nene had burst its banks, ended up doing more of a circuit round town. Bumped into Andy Smith (and his son) and, after that, Ash and Denise. Ended up doing just under 11.5km in 2 and a half hours.Knackered! As I type, I have a chilli on the stove, beer on the go, all the veg and chicken breast bought with no shortages, as feared, for tomorrow’s lunch and looking forward to eating. getting drunk, smoking, listening to music, watching telly....all over the next two/three days.

Day 279: I don’t even remember going to bed last night. As a direct result I got out of bed at 2.30pm. I couldn’t even be bothered with Christmas dinner, let alone anything else like exercise. I’m just about to have chilli for dinner (it’s 8.10pm). Watch some telly then try an go to sleep before midnight. No booze! I did talk to dad earlier. Day 280: Typing on day 281. A better, more productive day. Up @11.00am exercise and walk as usual, although the walk was a different route due to flooding. In the evening I could hear ‘storm Bella’ raging, so windy! I cooked a christmas dinner of sorts, chicken breast with Thyme, all the veg, roasted spuds and parsnip, stuffing (a first for me, albeit co-op stuffing mix), Yorkshie and pigs in blankets. It was smashing! A few beers and The Hitman’s Bodyguard, alays a fun watch. A better day, as I say, but I am feeling particular deflated this Christmas. Day 281: Typing on day 282. I realised, about mid afternoon, that Monday (tomorrow) is a bank holiday so no work. It was a great realisation but, also, worrying that it dawned on my like I’m an old person! Nevertheless, a nice long walk - bumped into Baz & Kate and had a nice long chat, then El & Camila, Aaron and Eva for another, shorter chat. I also saw Denise & Ash along the way. Fog video called later in the evening for a chat too (he told me how he fell asleep at the dinner table, fuck he makes me laugh - unwittingly - when I need it most!) A regular social fest! A repeat of last night’s dinner and a few beers - it was a good day albeit I am in a proper low ebb.

Day 282: Up at midday after a 4am-er. A very long walk (1.75 hours) and a hodge podge dinner (remaining chilli, roasted spuds and peppers, steamed cauliflower and runner beans, grated cheese) - it’s nearly ready, I’ll type the review tomorrow. I realise that this is the first time in 21 Christmases that I have at least talked to K. Is that connected to my mood slump? I reckon so. So, as that fact dawned on me, I then considered, should it be the case next Christmas, it will not be the first in along time and, as such, more manageable....fuck knows how I manage to accentuate any little positive but, thank goodness I do. Day 283: Work was a sedate affair today, fuck all to do really. Sueanne is now follwing me on Insta...I shall invetsigate on how to exclude posts to individuals, methinks. Tea, last night, was fucking lovely. More of the same tonight-ish - currently I am roasting spuds, peppers, garlic, chillies, tomatoes - it’ll all go with left over pigs-in-blankets (5) and a burger. I’ll have bisto beef with mustard on it. I can’t wait! Day 284: Typing on day 285. That meal was fucking lush! Checked on the car todfay and it would not start. Something is draining the battery so I will have to give it a run every day until I can get Julian to sort it. So, I WhatsApp’d Karen to borrow the portable starter. She dropped it off for me. We had the briefest of chats at the doorstep, first time we’ve spoken in weeks. She mentioned my hair! Day 285: NYE. I have just got back from walking to Cottersock and back. I would not have been able to do so without my new torch! I finished and published my double letter quiz on FB, including to the Virtual Pub group and the Oundle Chatter. It’s had some good feedback, I’m rather proud of it. I am going to make chicken casserole now (with dumplings - a first for me, I even bought some flour), have some beers and get a bit stoned. Before that, I am going to finish off my list of things I’ve done this year, including steps wlaked and hours listening on Spotify. I am quite proud of that list too.

Day 286: I fucked the dumplings up, added too much water, so that didn’t happen but the chicken casserole was good, just about to finish it for tea tonight. I also had pizza last night and went to bed at 5am. I have had a lot of good feedback on my list of 2020 achievements. I proud of it. K sent a happy new WhatsApp last night, around 00.30.

Day 287: No booze last night, so I was up before the alarm today (about 10.00am) Two walks, one on my own, another with Fog with a couple of beers. I fucking loved it! Watching datrts (World champs semi finals - been texting Dan while the first one has been on). Going to watch The Aviator later...I’ve not seen it before which surprises me. Why it surprises me I do not know, since I know I haven’t seen it. How the fuck can I be surprised by a fact I’m completely aware of? Day 288: I didn’t watch The Aviator ‘cos Logan Luck was on at 11:55pm on ITV4. Great fildm...I can’t believe that I very nearly paid for it (rent from Sky or Amazon). A late one last night and quite pissed. Thinking about it, having afew beers with Fog in the afternoon made it quite a long sesh for me! Up at just gone midday today, nice long walk (Cotterstock) which was mde long by a painful right ankle - I must have turned or twiested slightly sometime. Still, it survived. Back to work tomorrow - Chrimbo and New Year all done and dusted for the 55th time in my life!

Day 289: First day back at work of 2021. Boris announces another full lockdown in England (there’s a new strain of Covid19 which is seeing huge numbers of infections every day, over 50,000 per day).

Day 290: Something is up with my right foot, the little toe pad. It’s bloody sore. If it gets any worse it’ll affect my walking and exercise. I phoned Anne Bennison to talk about it, she just wants me to go and see her which i donlt want to do if poss, pandemic and all that.

Day 291: Wearing my sandals instead of the M&S slippers and my foot/toepad is already feeling bteer. However, I did inspect my Merrell boots, just in case, and the sole on te right is really worn down, in just three months. I have sent a WhatsApp to CotswoldOutdoors, where I got them from....let’s see what they say! It’s all kicking off i the US - pro Trump protestors have storm the Capitol Building, where congrees was being held. Only in ‘Merica.

Day 292: Busy at work with rolling out Qfiniti - all that project work was pretty much for fuck all since the SCCM package has to hand held. It’s feckin’ freezing today, below freezing, slippy af on my walks. I have been shopping tonight, £106 in Corby Tesco. That does include 8 cans of sapporo.

Day 293: The fracas at Capitol Hill on Wednesday left 5 dead, it looks like Trump will be impeached. He’s already said he’ll not attend Biden’s inauguration. In a fucking world gone mad, it’s another level of madness. It’s really cold -3℃ tonight, more of the same tomorrow. Makes for brisk walks. I’ve just had chicken balti pie and chips for tea. It was so nice that I burnt the roof of my fucking gob. I’m on the Sapporo and about to have a smoke then watch Jack Reacher. I’ve (kinda) earnt after the first 5 day week for a while.

Day 294: Well, last night saw another late one...5am by the time I :went to sleep. Up at 2pm today with no instention of any exercise or walking or housework or fuck all, really. But, I did my exercises and a 9 mile walk. While I walked I came across Banners, quick 15 min chat and listed to Stage by David Bowie. He’s all over the radio right now as it’s his death’s anniversary tomorrow and his birthday yesterday. It’s a fucking good live album. A few beers tonight, eating trash, watching FA Cup highlights then End of Watch later. Posh played today (first time in a while due to Covid infections) drew away to (shitty) Lincoln 1-1. Good point as Posh were down to ten men after 67 mins for a second yellow for handball in the area. Lincoln missed the pen. Fucking funny. Chorley, the non leaguers who knocked Posh out in round 2 of the FA Cup, beat Derby in round 3 today (albeit derby fielded an academy side of 11 first timers due to Covid ) - a great day for them!

Day 295: Up at 2pm swearing blind I’d not walk or exercise (again!) but, of course I did. I’ve done over 25 miles this w/e! End of Watch was brilliant last night. Well worth a rewatch, so emotional. I am making butter chicken as I type. I’ve added extra onion, garlic and, of course, chillies. It’s the spiciest butter chicken I have ever tasted!

Day 296: One of those frustrating days at work when no problem of request I try to resolve goes without a hitch. After a 7km walk in the evening, took the car for a spin and cleaned the bathroom. Fucking knackered. It’s 11:30pm and I’m in bed typing this on the iPad! despite getting up so late, I feel knackered. 11pm bedtime for me, I reckon.

Day 297: Fucking busy at work, the States rolled out a new Okta trust policy and it caused mayhem. Meant my evening walk didn’t start ‘til gone 6pm. When I got back, clened the hall and stairs, made chilli (which I am about to have for tea (gone 10.15pm!) and showered. I’m, again, fucking knackered! Posh played Portsmouth in the EFL Trophy 3rd round at home. Won 5-1. Nice.

Day 298: Had an electrician rouind for the EICR cetrt. He was here until 2pm and it was a pain in the arse, having to work upstairs plus, with having to cut the electricity, all the smart devices lost their settings. And it was freezing up there.

Day 299: Work was impossibly infuriating. Not one pc remote session went to plan! It was pissing down a lunchtime during my walk but, I have to say, the cheap TargetDry coat copes fine in heavy rain for short periods. Everywhere is flooding again even though the rain turned to sleet. By my evening walk, it was dry but bloody cold. Then, when I got in I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor and the bathroom’s as well. I fucking done in! Chatted to dad today - same as ever!

Day 300: What a fucking work at week! I am so glad it’s Friday. To celebrate, I ordered new walking boots: Scarpas £121!

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #COVID19 #lockdownuk

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