#One of my fav classics now without a doubt

[f1letters]

maroon | cs55

"how the hell did we lose sight of us again? sobbing with your head in your hands, ain't that the way shit always ends?"

summary: they both knew their relationship would ruin them both, but they couldn't stop themselves from running back to each other every goddamn time

warning: angst, toxic relationship, mentions of a vicious cycle of breaking up and making up, right person wrong time, suggestive language, swearing, a bunch of references to older classic rock bands and albums (and CAS because they are my fav band of all time haha), open ending

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

word count: 4.3k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

spanish words used: hermosa = beautiful; corazón = heart

hey everybody! honestly, this song is the one I've been looking forward to writing the most since the beginning... I worked so hard and I gave everything I had in me to this story (hence the story being the longest so far, something about writing for Carlos just makes me write so much more every time, haha), I couldn't be more proud of what I did! haha, hopefully, you guys love it as much as I do! happy holidays to everyone! 💜

masterlist

When the morning came

We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf

'Cause we lost track of time again

Laughing with my feet in your lap

Like you were my closest friend

Dozens of voices echoed through the crowded room, engaged in different conversations and dialogues.

The crowd seemed to have a life of its own. Old friends catching up on the latest news in their lives. New friends being made unexpectedly. The sharing of the latest gossip and rumours among the most curious souls. The sound of endless, genuine laughter through the halls.

In the middle of the glowing lights, the shiny clothes and the loud music, hidden in the shadows, there she was.

Y/N had escaped the huddled bodies until she found refuge in an empty room. With the door closed, the noise of the party was now muffled, leaving the girl alone with her thoughts as she searched through a vinyl shelf she found there.

Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd. Radiohead. The Clash. Their owner had taste, she thought, fascinated by their timeless records. The young woman also appreciated these older classic albums, although she couldn't find many people like her.

With her hands roaming over the vinyl without much care for the party happening, Y/N nearly dropped a Nirvana album on the floor when the bedroom door burst open.

"Oh." The unknown man said, stopping in his track when he came face to face with her. "Sorry, but do I know you?"

"Hmm, I don't think so." The girl frowned in doubt. Her eyes widened as she realized she was clearly breaking into someone's room. "Oh my god, is this your room? It is, isn't it? What was I thinking going in like that-"

"Hey, don't worry! It's okay! I just wasn't expecting to see anyone in here." He chuckled softly, extending his hand to the girl. "I'm Carlos, and you are...?"

"Y/N, nice to meet you!" She shook his hand back. The girl could have sworn she felt a spark run through her veins as soon as she felt his touch.

"Hmm, sorry for going through your stuff. I- I'm a huge music lover and I- Just couldn't help myself." The girl continued, half choking up, half laughing at herself, lifting the album in her hand to show Carlos what she was doing.

"I don't mind." The driver responded, approaching her and taking the vinyl from her hold. The warm skin of his hand contrasted with her cool one, letting his touch linger. "So, are you a Nevermind fan?"

"More of a Bleach girl myself." Y/N said smugly, her eyes glazing over the boy's charming figure before returning to the shelf. "You have an incredible collection. I wish I had this many records."

"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say

"Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how"

I see you every day now

Hours passed, and both lost track of time as they talked about everything and anything. 

Y/N and Carlos were instantly attracted to each other, bonded not just by their shared love of music but by a soul connection neither could explain.

It was profound in ways that were beyond physical attraction, it had to be experienced to be truly understood.

Almost like their souls knew each other from the past.

The couple stood there, only a few hours after they met, sitting on the floor of his bedroom. They laughed with her feet in his lap, with a cheap-ass screw-top bottle of rosé beside them.

It was like an enchanting enigma how much they felt like each other's closest friends, like they had been part of each other's lives forever.

A Fleetwood Mac song was playing from Carlos's red vinyl record player when the woman spoke. "Isn't it crazy that I ended up at your house party and didn't even know who you were until you walked into this room?"

The two chuckled softly as their eyes locked and the driver's hand ran along the top of her thigh. "A bit maybe." He bit his bottom lip, a little unsure and nervous. Deciding to take risks that night, he continued. "But it was totally worth sneaking in here and skipping the party just to meet you."

Y/N could feel her cheeks heat up as they flushed. The girl tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked away from him to the floor.

"I don't know about you," Carlos again captured the attention of the girl beside him, approaching her little by little. "But I don't think I've ever felt this chemistry with anyone in my entire life, hermosa."

Driven by her impulsiveness and by the tension that hung in the air, the young woman made the first move and closed the space between them, letting her lips rest on his in a much-desired kiss. 

It started out soft and slow, their hearts beating faster and faster as the adrenaline grew. Y/N let her mouth open a little, and the driver took that as a sign to let his tongue swirl in her mouth. Her hands found their place among the brown locks of his wild hair, as he pulled her body towards him until she was on top of him.

Y/N was never one for one-night stands or sex on the first date, but that moment felt different for her. None of it felt sudden, ill-considered, or a mistake.

In fact, Y/N had never felt like anything was so right as pulling the Spaniard onto his bed mattress that night.

And I chose you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

For the next six months, Y/N and Carlos were inseparable.

Their feelings for each other continued to grow stronger and stronger with every passing day. However, the two kept them secret from each other, hidden in the privacy of their own minds.

During those magical months since the night they'd met, they'd given themselves to each other, body and soul. But they both knew there was something more between them: something impossible to ignore, something special.

So special that the two feared they would ruin it by putting a title on their relationship.

They were… Friends with benefits, lovers, soulmates? All options were honest and sincere, but they were only attempts to escape the term "boyfriend and girlfriend".

Painting New York City white, snowflakes fell from the skies while shimmering under the lights like jewels bestowed by winter.

The couple could already see their destination, such was the way the girl's maroon apartment building stood out among the snow-covered sidewalks.

Carlos hugged her waist from behind, squeezing the girl's body and picking her up off the ground.

"Carlos, stop! You're going to drop me, you idiot!" Y/N squealed playfully, being immediately put down again in front of her door.

The driver placed a tender kiss on her forehead and then adjusted the black beanie that covered the top of her head. "I would never let you fall, corazón."

Except I already fell for you, she thought to herself, making her heart ache.

The two hurriedly climbed the building's stairs, eager to return to the warmth of her home. They had barely passed the front door when the two started taking off their cold and damp shoes in search of some relief from the discomfort in their feet.

The Cigarettes After Sex album that they were listening to before leaving her living room continued to echo through the walls of the apartment. Immediately, Carlos grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, wrapping her shoulders with his arms as he started to sway their connected bodies gently to the music.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked, caught off guard by the driver's movements.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Carlos asked playfully, running his hand through the young woman's long hair. "I'm dancing with you to your favourite band."

Just when she thought it wasn't possible for her feelings to grow any further, Carlos seemed to challenge her, proving her wrong all over again. Her heart could explode at any second with how much love for the Spaniard she kept in it.

"Carlos?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yes, hermosa?" He replied in the same tone.

"I'm so glad I chose you."

In the end, what mattered to them was seizing the moment before it was over, being happy with each other before the inevitable end came.

Both Y/N and Carlos couldn't help sensing that they were doomed to end sooner or later.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Eventually, the first signs of the end of their honeymoon phase began to appear.

Their flaws seemed more noticeable, their patience thinner, and their problems more difficult to solve.

All of a sudden, the illusion that their relationship was perfect started to fade with time.

The two began to see themselves as opponents with their backs turned to each other instead of the hopelessly in love souls they were in the beginning.

On a random spring night, the two were getting ready for another one of their dates, in the privacy of his house, like they did so many times before.

The two naturally assumed their tasks without much dialogue at this point: Y/N was leaning over the stove as she finished cooking dinner for them, while Carlos was in the dining room setting the table.

After completing what he had to do, the driver went to the kitchen in search of a wine to serve with the pasta that his lover was preparing. He opened the pantry and took out his favourite red wine from one of the bottom shelves.

Carlos walked to one of the drawers, removing his corkscrew from it, and opened the bottle without knowing that Y/N was moving dangerously close to him. 

By accident, his sudden movement caused the bottle to splash onto the once-white t-shirt the young woman wore, now leaving a huge burgundy mark on it.

"Are you fucking serious?" Y/N complained, disgusted with the state of her outfit. "This t-shirt is new, Carlos. For fuck's sake, this stain is never coming off."

"Calm down, it's not like someone died. It's just a fucking t-shirt, Y/N." Carlos replied, in the same aggressive tone. "I'll buy you a new one. Don't let this night be ruined for something so small."

"You'll buy it?! You always think that your money solves everything, don't you?" The girl spat, starting her way to her room to change her clothes. "I just wish you would be careful for once in your life and not be so fucking clumsy."

"It's a piece of fabric, oh my God." Carlos followed her, not ready to give up. "Get over it!"

"You know what? Enjoy your dinner alone. I'm out of here."

And so their new routine began: they argued, they fucked, they made up, they repeated.

The rooms they'd once set on fire with their burning, sizzling passion were now left in ashes, burned by the flame that brought them back to each other's arms, time after time.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

Fight after fight, the two kept finding their way to each other every single time, like two individuals relapsing on their favourite addiction.

The young woman had been dragged by the Spaniard to another one of his races, though as a very discreet and unknown guest.

Nobody knew her in that world, not even his closest colleagues, and Y/N couldn't help but feel hurt by all of Carlos' secrecy.

Okay, they weren't together-together, but the fact that she wasn't even mentioned to his best friends still seemed like a red flag to her.

Y/N had managed to escape to his room without anyone noticing, coming face to face with the shirtless figure with his back to her.

"Hey, handsome." The girl approached him, placing her hands on his chest as she leaned against his naked back.

"Corazón, you are here." The driver turned towards her, placing a kiss on her lips and down along the side of her neck. "I missed you so much. These weeks without you have driven me crazy."

"Hmm... Were you missing me or having me?" Y/N questioned, trying to pretend to be unaffected by the way his mouth sucked on her collarbone so sensually.

The boy turned his eyes to her gaze and cupped her face gently in his hands. "You, hermosa. You."

Their moment was interrupted by a member of Ferrari knocking on the door, warning Carlos that he would have to prepare for the driver's parade. Both of them slipped from his room and the motorhome, coming across two other drivers she recognized from watching other races.

"Well, well, well," Lando announced, messing with Carlos and his mystery companion. "What do we have here? Sainz, you don't even introduce your 'friend' here to your boys"

"Pfff, friend." The Spaniard's teammate, Charles, replied, also joking. "At least her fresh hickey tells me otherwise."

The girl immediately looked down at the neckline of her shirt, where she noticed the love bite near her neck.

And when her gaze rested on her lover's annoyed face, she realized how unhappy he was that they got caught.

When the silence came

We were shaking, blind and hazy

How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

Sobbing with your head in your hands

Ain't that the way shit always ends?

"Since this muppet here doesn't want to introduce us, I'll do the honours. I'm Lando, this is Charles." The McLaren driver said, pointing to his Ferrari friend, followed by his outstretched hand towards the girl.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Y/N." She greeted the British, and then the Monegasque.

"So why are you hiding your beautiful girlfriend from us, Sainz?" Charles asked curiously.

"She's not my girlfriend, I have to go." Carlos replied, turning away and leaving behind two shocked friends, a hurt girl and her heart broken into little pieces.

After hearing a thousand apologies from the two nice guys for meddling in matters that weren't theirs, Y/N decided to walk to the exit of the circuit and skip the race altogether.

Hours passed and only silence came to her hotel room, with no sign of Carlos.

The girl sat on the floor, back against the bed covered with a maroon duvet, shaking, blind and hazy, until he eventually appeared.

How the hell did we lose sight of us again, she thought to herself over and over again.

The driver entered the room, shoulders slumped in regret, expecting to find an upset Y/N he had to apologize to.

Never did he expect to find the girl he loved sobbing with her head in her hands.

Carlos knelt down in front of the young woman, placing his hands on her knees, which provoked her to look at him with eyes smudged with mascara.

"Sorry, hermosa." The boy apologized, letting his forehead rest against her knee.

"Sorry for what, Carlos?" Y/N asked, determined to get the truth out of him.

"I shouldn't have turned away and left you alone with Lando and Charles." The Spaniard confessed. "I understand that you didn't see the race, but it's done now, you don't need to be like that..."

"The discussion is over, yes." The girl spoke, getting up from the floor and looking at the image of him still kneeling. "But us, this, whatever it is, that is over too."

"Stop, Y/N!" The driver also got to his feet, trying to stop her from leaving. "This is just another argument. We always come back to each other, that's the way shit always ends."

The woman released her wrist from his hold, opened the door and glanced at him over her shoulder before walking away.

"Not this time."

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway

Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us

I feel you, no matter what

The rubies that I gave up

A day passed. Then two days. Three days.

On the fourth day, the doorbell to her New York apartment rang and her heart just knew that he was going to be the person behind the door.

Y/N opened the entrance to her house and there he was as expected: Carlos, standing there, hollow-eyed in the hallway, flowers in hand.

"Before you interrupt me, I beg you: please, listen to what I have to say. Then you can send me away if you want and I'll go." Carlos begged her, his hands gripping the red flowers more tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry I came to that conclusion so late but I do, I love you. So much my chest hurts whenever I'm not with you. And I know I've been an asshole to you, especially on this last race, and I know I don't deserve you but I'm not ready to give up on you, on us."

The young woman remained silent, listening to the words she'd been waiting to hear all these months.

But they were too late.

"These roses are for you, corazón. I know they are your favourite flowers." The driver held the flowers out to her.

"Carnations," Y/N replied, leaving the Spaniard more confused than ever. "These are carnations, not roses."

The two kept their eyes together until a tear ran down the girl's eyes. And both of them knew.

"I'm sorry, Carlos, but you should leave." Y/N sobbed. "I loved you all this time but I had enough."

And I lost you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

Maroon

It took six months for them to end their perfect, magical honeymoon phase. 

Followed by another six months of endless fighting and pain inflicted on each other.

Perhaps in some poetic way, six months passed from Y/N losing him until they saw each other again.

Nothing hurt more than being away from the one person she loved more than anyone. Especially when she knew the passion and the love between them were still there.

She couldn't help feeling that they were two cursed souls destined to suffer for their love.

Without Carlos, even music seemed to sound different. 

Since the day she saw the boy walk out the door, her vinyl had remained exactly in the same place, gathering dust, as she didn't have the courage to listen to them again without being consumed by memories of them.

Trapped in her thoughts on yet another sleepless night, Y/N looked up at the sky and thought to herself: I can't die from a broken heart, but I can't help but feel like a part of me did that day.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Maroon

Tired of brooding over the excruciating time away from the driver, Y/N relented and agreed to leave the comfort of her home to go to a party for the first time in a long time.

Dressed to the nines, the girl found herself in a crowd in the middle of an unfamiliar house.

It was the same as always: old friends, new friends, gossip, rumours, laughter, shining lights, loud music.

The young woman simply couldn't enjoy that life as she did before. All she wanted was to go home, lay under the covers, with the fire burning on her fireplace... But the memories that place held of him began to feel like they were too much for her to bear.

Alcohol in her hand, as usual, Y/N escaped the noise to a random room in the house, much like the night she met Carlos. 

This time, the girl found herself in the middle of a guest room, with nothing more than a bed and some basic furniture, where she sat enjoying a sweet drink.

Mirroring that night even further, Y/N was stunned when the white bedroom door opened to let in the tanned, handsome boy who was consuming her head.

"Oh," Carlos said, unable to contain his feelings when he saw the woman again after so long. "Hey, I- I was just looking for the bathroom. I- I'm going to go."

"No, wait!" Unconsciously, Y/N stood up, grabbing the driver's wrist without giving it much thought until she felt the blood rush into her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I just- I don't know... I miss you."

The Spaniard let her words sink in, all emotions on the surface. "Y/N... Please, don't do this. I don't know if I can survive another heartbreak."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Forget this ever happened." Y/N got ready to walk out the door until it was the boy's turn to grab her arm.

Carlos pulled her towards him, grabbing her face with both hands and pulling her into a so-desired kiss filled with longing, pain, and lust.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

His lips brushed hers, allowing him to inhale her breath and feel the warmth of her mouth, until he let his lips mash against hers in a rough, heated kiss.

She opened her mouth quickly, pushing her tongue past his teeth and meeting him in an electric and passionate battle. 

Both lay on the bed, her straddling his body like she did a million other times, her lips still glued to the ones she used to call home.

They both pull away, panting with their gazes focused on each other almost as if they were afraid the moment would suddenly be over.

"I still love you, hermosa." Carlos confessed, letting the words slip out. "There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you, or that I didn't want your body next to mine just like this."

For one more night, Y/N gave in to her most intimate desires and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of belonging in the arms of the man she loved again, as she removed her dress and her lips returned to where they belonged - his.

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy, legacy

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy to leave

Such was the girl's amazement when hours later she woke up in the same bed, alone with only his memory over her.

The wrinkled sheets on the right side of the mattress were the only sign that the driver had been in that room the night before. 

Not a note, a discarded piece of clothing, a stray hair.

Just crumpled linens and the marks of his love smeared across her soft skin.

Once again, Y/N was left with only her regrets and her sorrows for being so weak and so naive to think this time would be different.

That was the legacy he left every time: his touch on her remained, as did his absence.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was maroon

Back at home, the girl went straight to her room, wanting nothing more than to get out of her dirty clothes from the night before. 

Her hands started their work of removing the dress, until she stopped in her tracks, naked in front of her bathroom mirror, when she saw the marks left by Carlos all over her for the first time.

She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, as she stepped into the shower.

The hot water ran through her hair, over her shoulders, and down her back, until loneliness overcame her and her eyes wept and wept away all the hurt she felt.

How could I have been stupid enough to fall again, she wondered.

After a few minutes of crying and showering, Y/N left the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, and went to her dresser in search of an old t-shirt to wear.

Among the dozens of her neutral shirts, one stood out. It was scarlet, and it was his.

Without thinking twice, she grabbed the t-shirt and draped it over her body, ready to give in to the sadness. Her arms hugged her own torso, seeking physical comfort in a place where she was the only person left.

Or so she thought until she heard the familiar doorbell ring later that night.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

The only light on the dark street that night was the street light that lit up the star-crossed lovers ever so slightly.

There he was, standing outside of the door of her maroon building, red roses in hand this time, face pleading for forgiveness. 

Although their lives might not have fit together, they were just two broken souls who had found solace in each other's hearts, unwilling to give up on the greatest love they had ever known.

And just like that, pulled back into their vicious cycle, all she had consuming her mind was him all over again.

"Hey, corazón."

It was maroon

It was maroon

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

@amsofftrack @scuderiamh @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin @ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips

(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[girluninterrupted11]

It's now time to talk about the tumultuous 40s

Now fashion may not be the first thing that comes to mind when we think of the 1940s. Considering this was the decade where the second world war took place, and a horrific genocide that slaughtered millions, fashion isnt at the forefront of our minds. Oddly enough though, it is during this time that many fashion designers that we know today (namely Hugo Boss, Coco Chanel) were known Nazis, and produced the SS uniforms. Obviously I think that's horrific and want to keep that in mind as we go through this decade. 

With that said, the 40s are known for its simplicity. As we know, I really do prefer this. I think simplicity is under appreciated and we tend to get lost in the vast variety of clothing available to us. It’s always good to get back to the basics when in doubt. Because of the war, the priority of fashion was practicality and the materials available were limited. This created a simple, practical style, and I honestly really like the idea of this. As much as I love fashion, for an everyday sort of thing, you have to be practical. It’s for this reason that I opt for my 1460s docs as my shoes most days for example. 

Above, you can see two outfits that to me really encompass the 1940s. Women started really wearing pants all the time during this decade (popularized by Katherine Hepburn, among others), because of the practicality, which of course I like. I think nicely fitted dress pants or plain cotton pants (like the ones seen above) can really go a long way. The simple cotton fabrics look elegant. It’s simple, casual, but chic and tasteful. To me, it is the perfect effortless look, the first image especially. It's why I love linen pants and tops, especially in the warmer seasons. Those white, plain cotton button down blouses (seen on the left) are a key component of this decade (which I love!!!). Belts (second image) and other accessories are also seen, which as we’ve established I am a big fan of. These looks are really what dominated the 40s. Underrated in my opinion, not everything has to be crazy and flashy to be fashionable. 

The next look I want to talk about is the more “feminine” and dressier side of the decade. This would be the less practical side (which I still love), the more fashionable side if you will. As you can see, long hemlines were popular during this era. On the left is a dress, with the fitted waist that was common. I personally love this dress. It's modest, as to be expected for war times, but also feminine. It’s of course simple, but the little details are really what I love. The buttons match perfectly, the belt is exactly what’s needed (in my opinion) to add shape without losing elegance. I love the belted-waist, and it is something I even do with my own dresses and such (that are looser or cut similarly to the one in the photo). The gloves are also a nice addition, which was also popular during this time. As I've previously mentioned, I really do prefer simpler, more sophisticated, elegant, and classically feminine looks. This is really what the first look means to me. 

Similarly, the second image is simple but fitted enough. It’s a two piece, a long hem lined skirt with a matching blouse/top, which recurs throughout the decade. Once again, the little detail of the buttons add a nice touch. Maybe that’s a strange thing to notice, but I really do love buttons, especially on sets like this. They add a nice little flair, and have to coordinate with the rest of the outfit. That may just be because I'm the type of person that focuses on small things. But it's because of people like this that we have to make sure everything is coordinated. The collar in both outfits is also high and very specific to the decade of the 1940s (and a bit before, as well as after), which matches the modest elegance I talked about.

That brings us to the end of this era. Thanks for reading and following around yall, and stay tuned for the next decade as we are approaching my favourites xx.

[mixtapedoh]

Gunshot! Cast ateez as poptart flavors?

come join my autumn celebration!

ꨄ — gunshot your words are like a gunshot, i'm bleeding love

this one is so funny, asdfghgfdsdfghjhgfd, i am tempted to give them all weird flavors like crocs (hongjoong) or motor oil (san) or whatever, but also i think we all want to know who is brown sugar cinnamon (my HEART) and who is strawberry, so i am giving the people what they want. also like,,,, i haven't had a poptart since 2009, so we're really going off of random ass vibes.

hongjoong as hello kitty meow-berry (you don't realize just how badly i wanted this flavor as a kid,,,,, the fact that i never got to taste them,,,,,, criminal)

seonghwa as hot fudge sundae (while i have no idea the quality of the taste, now, whenever my mom got these as a kid it felt like i was given rights to be absolutely crazy.)

yunho as brown sugar cinnamon (a classic. an underrated fav.)

yeosang as wild berry (purely for the aesthetic, though. i have never tried them and thus i cannot sign off on the true vibecheck.)

san as mint chocolate chip (another entry in the never-ending file of 'damn, wish i had the chance to have had this in my youth when i know without a doubt i would have loved it indiscriminate')

mingi as cherry (so good!!!!!!!!!!!! one of my favorites <3)

wooyoung as pink lemonade (i have vivid memories of one of my friends devOURING these in high school, and idk, the vibes and memories are there)

jongho as strawberry (darling choice. the people's princess. strawberry, you will always be famous.)

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

 Thank you to @amywritesthings for the tag as I acclimatize to being back on tumblr lol

nickname: don’t really go by a nickname? Other than Nicole my family members call me Lovey, it’s been a nickname since childhood. I cannot STAND being called Nicki.

sign: (literally had to Google this bc I only know my sign as Scorpio, not my sun or moon or that other stuff). Scorpio sun/ aries moon/ pisces rising -> aka passionate as hell, feels emotions very deeply, hella impatient, loyal and determined to a fault, give me deep conversations no surface level shit (basically I am swell lmao)

height: 5’9 (she is a tall queen)

last thing you googled: how to read astrology chart report LMAO

song stuck in my head: Blue Monday by New Order (search Din Djarin on Youtube and look for the short Blue Monday - Din Djarin, you’re welcome)

number of followers: around 330? I have not been active on this blog for a good 8 years so I have no doubt many people in my previous fandoms have unfollowed lol, but thats okay. I’m looking to make new friends in the Mando/Pedro fandoms :)

amount of sleep: I have to get 8 or 9 hours to be a pleasant functioning human.  Do I ever actually get this much on a day to day basis? Nope. Otherwise I am having at least two cups of coffee to get me through the day. I really don’t know how most people function on 7 hours or less.

dream job: currently working towards my dream job in social work. The goal is to become certified in practicing equine assisted therapy a.k.a. using horses to facilitate the therapeutic process and heal trauma (it’s life changing once you get to experience it)

wearing: brown workout leggings and a baseball tee. The vibe nowadays is comfort and athleisure wear, emphasis on the LEISURE part

movie/book that summarizes you: I don’t know if there is any one movie or book that summarizes me, I can only conceptualize that as my favorite books or movies. I think my core traits are passion, determination, introspection, independence, and thoughtfulness, so if there is any one movie or character that embodies all of those then that would be it!

fav song currently: Moth to a Flame by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd (constantly on repeat in the background, much to my partners dismay)

aesthetic: I’m so shit at describing myself so I really can’t say??? I think my aesthetic is classic, whatever that means. Clothes wise, anything black with gold jewellry. If I can wear combat boots with anything that is a bonus. I like beautiful scenery and old architecture, anything from rap to 80s disco, to new wave, reggaeton, soca and classical music. I feel like my outward appearance embodies resting bitch face, so I guess a pretty classic bitch but soft on the inside? (I am so bad at this I apologize)

favourite author: No current fave authors which really tells me I need to start reading again now that I am out of school and not consumed with academic material.

random fun fact: Is this supposed to be a random fun fact about myself or a random fun face in general? random about me, I can wiggle my ears without touching them, random in general, I will give you a horse related fact, horses cannot throw up! Their digestive system makes it so that food only goes through their esophagus valve, which runs one way. Hence if they choke or get indigestion, they have to get immediate medical attention or surgery otherwise their digestive system becomes blocked. (you needed to know this info right?)

I don’t know anyone else well enough to tag on here but feel free to comment hehe.

[iavender-haze]

james potter fic recs

i did a marauders fic recs a few days back, but wanted to make separate character fic recs. 8 fics? also i just copy pasted the fics from my marauders fic for james potter. also i have a sepratate section for the ones which i copy pasted. also i didn’t divide it into genres’ this time.

favs- 👑

[ f i c r e c s ! ]

Innocent distractions by @wrathspoet  👑

word count: (0.7K) (warning: making out)

↳  james distracts you from your plans, and he does it so perfectly at that.

Worth the wait  by @velvetcloxds

word count:1.8k words) (Warning: age gap)

↳ you might be his son's nanny, but you're also his friend and James is tired of telling you about his failed dates when you're the one he wants to be going out with in the first place

Paper Rings (2.5k) by @wrathspoet  👑

word count: 2.5k (warnings: remus got high in this one, drinking, making out)

↳ james’ encounter with you turns a dislike for each other into a friendship. And when feelings progress between it, you’re confused what james actually wants. You didn’t expect him to respond with saying he was in love with you.

Like He Can by @jamespottersmommy

word count:1.2k  warnings: Jealous Jamie, Insecure Jamie, Honestly angsty af, Major self-doubt

↳ james gets jealous and self conscious of all the time the reader spends with sirius

Last Minute Gifts  by  @pregnant-piggy  👑

word count:1.2k warnings: none

↳ It hadn’t been your plan to buy the presents on Christmas Eve. There were a lot of other things you’d rather be doing right now, but for the past days you had been busy with work. So there you stood, in a massive line waiting for checkout.

What’s Happening To Me? by @harrytpotter  👑

word count:5.9K.

James Potter was starting to feel more and more overprotective towards his friend Y/N and considerably annoyed at the blatant flirting she and one of his best friends were displaying publicly and at the thought she might be falling for Sirius. What was happening to him?

You’re Being Mean by @hxlyhead-harpies

Word Count: 1.5k, Warnings: Angst

↳ (Y/n) has always been second to her cousin Lily and James watches (Y/n) get ready to go to the yule ball with someone else

a classic cliche by @akraziia

*american high school au*

word count: 2.5k warnings: swearing, kissing, hot cocky!james

↳ you encounter james potter, the arrogant ass who’s been a pain in your side for years, at a football game lily and the m’s dragged you to. but he seems to be becoming less of a pain than usual--especially with that stupidly handsome smirk of his

what’s love got to do with it?  -> (part two) by @destourtereaux  👑 

↳  based on what’s love got to do with it - tina turner

word count: 1,066 warnings: none?

Dream of Me by @approved-by-dentists

Word count; 4,342 Warnings; FLUFF, p i n i n g, angst, swearing

↳ soulmates share dreams, but what happens when James’ magic interrupts the connection without the reader knowing;  song fic for “Saw You in a Dream” by The Japanese House.

If This Was Love by @selenes-sun

Word Count: 1.3k warnings: angst?

↳ daffodil; a flower symbolizing rebirth or unrequited love

Lover Boy by @iwritesiriusly

word count: 1033 Warnings: she/her pronouns, unrequited feelings, shameless pda, james singing, cheesier that an extra cheese pizza.

↳ It’s just another day for the students of Hogwarts as they witness James Potter declare his undying love for y/n y/l/n

Star-Crossed Lovers by @pad-foots

warnings: slightly angsty but mostly fluff word count: n/a

↳prompts: 15: ‘we’re gonna walk in together’, 16: ‘are you proud of me?’ ‘all the time’ + 17: ‘i happen to think you’re very talented

the ones from my marauders fic recs

crooked ties by @cupids-crystals

↳ Yule Ball blurb; sweet moment between James and the reader before the ball (fluff)

COLLECTOR OF BROKEN THINGS  by @velvetcloxds  👑

↳ After denying her feelings for James, the reader asks him to sneak up to the astronomy tower with her, taking the opportunity to finally be truly vulnerable in front of him.  

MORTAL ENEMIES by @scandalous-chaos

↳ classic enemies to lovers troupe

charming by @mirclealignr  👑

↳ he liked you, fancied you even, so what was he waiting for? hopefully not rejection, he thought…

headcanons

dating james potter by @fictionalwhores

falling for him  by @quindolyn

Dating James Potter Would Include… by @sunny-reys

[quinnick]

Okay gay Mike truthers and bi Mike truthers a like (And a special thank you to my fav aroace Mike truthers) I am making the choice to write out a probably half assed analysis on how bald Mike Wheeler is queer coded the same as non-bald (superior) Mike Wheeler. Warning for pictures of bald Mike So lets start of with the main picture of bald Mike

As we can see, it’s Mike with his usual confused face because he has rocks in his head. We also can see he is wearing his classic hellfire shirt. Let’s take a closer look at Mike’s Hellfire shirt

Now, this Mike has hair but is wearing the same shirt which in this image we can see s a kinda long half sleeve shirt. Now, there are only two types of people who wear half sleeves... and that queer people and middle aged white moms when they go to church. We can safely assume Mike Wheeler is not a middle aged white mom and I have doubts that Mike Wheeler (let alone bald Mike wheeler) is allowed in church. So this leaves us with one option, which is that Mike Wheeler is queer and by association, bald Mike Wheeler is queer Now, I will argue we can also safely assume bald Mike Wheeler is queer because he canonically shaved his head to show that he is in love with his girlfriend El and will love her with or without her hair. But what if I told you that this would actually parallels Jim Hopper and how he is also bald this season and uses his baldness to be in solidarity with El. this shows a connection of family bonds and not romantic ones meaning that Mike is lying about why he shaved his head. And why would Mike lie? Because he is trying to hide that he is in love with Will. in conclusion,

[jodibodie]

I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare.  Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented.  I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong.  From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.  

Tom Ellis, no words.  The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.  

Lauren German, WOW.  She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork.  She’s us and German just brings it.  

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”.  He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.  

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her.  She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.  

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time.  He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP.  She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more.  Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.  

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her.  Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.  

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible.  She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch.  Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show.  She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all.  I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything.  I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense.  I call bullshit.  Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story.  Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make.  Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment.  Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father?  Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child.  When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises.  Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these.  Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie?  The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant.  I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”  

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst.  Hell, this is my favorite show.  I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you?  Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say.  Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved.  Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings.  Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.  

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[theomengirl]

~ GOM as a father ~

[notes] ~ hello! i' m sorry for not being active for the past two weeks because i was battling writer's block, and since college has started it also got in the way of my writing. the requests are piling up and i'll try to work on them as soon as possible ;;; here's a hc of your fav gom boys while you wait. thank you! ♡

Kuroko

the most normal out of the 6.

he’s really appreciative and compliments his child on something they do.

the type to give a sweet morning call and kisses them as soon as they wake up.

later at night, he would read them books and stay longer before their bedtime just to have a simple talk. “what was your favorite part of today?”

also assures them that he's all-ears if they're bothered by something.

no matter how bad his day went, he would never show it in front of them.

you and Kuroko always stick a note filled with encouraging words on their lunchbox to boost their spirit.

sets a healthy lifestyle to help with their growth because he doesn't want them to take after his low stamina.

he loves to assist when they have an art project and he'd display the artwork at home while giving a pat on the head. "look at this awesome work made by you."

Kise

the moment he officially became a dad, he cried for a whole day.

one night, you felt exhausted and Kise wasn't on the bed the moment you woke up. then you found him at the room next door, snoring on the carpet with scattered diapers while your child was sleeping soundly in their crib.

hangs family pictures all over the house and he puts his child's shots throughout the years. he's also active on social medias to boast about his little family.

he's clingy and would give big hugs and kisses at random times, for no reason at all. often argues about who love whom more.

a little sad when they refuse to accept his affection. "dad, stop it. i'm older now." "doesn't matter, i'd still hug and kiss you every day even if you grow grey hair."

spoils them with toys until there's barely any space to keep them, which gaining him a whack from you. "don't buy toys anymore." but he just couldn't look away and came home with another one.

brags about the magazines which he featured on. "doesn't your dad look handsome here?"

he takes his child to his photoshoot site once in a while and the people there would squeal.

his heart breaks if he sees them getting frustrated or sad. "hey, you have your mom and me. you'll always be our biggest pride so let's figure out together, alright? now should we crash at your favorite restaurant?"

gets excited when they do. he's also good at role plays, sometimes a cop, a prince, a monster, etc.

Midorima

a little awkward and confused as how to act natural when his child pretend to shoot him or he plays a prince.

"mom, can you play with me? dad's terrible." then he'd call Kise to ask for some advice.

often doubts himself whether he's a good father or not, but that thought got washed out after his child came home saying he got an A for his essay; 10 things i love about my father. reading it before he leaves for work has become a routine.

bonds over basketball. he'd teach his child how to shoot threes and encourage them until they get better.

he makes sure they keep lucky items with them every day.

totally lost his cool and was panicking when his child got a fever. you tried to calm him down but he instantly rushed to the hospital, only to return home again because the doctor said it wasn't serious; just a usual fever every kid runs to.

the type to set a curfew.

might push them in term of academics, but not too hard. and he would always praise them no matter how bad the score they get. "it's just a number. i just hope you understand the subject so it'll be an advantage for you in the future, you can always do better, because you're our son/daughter."

lowkey jealous if the Shutoku uncles get close to them and glares at Takao because his child seems to favor him.

Aomine

the troublemakers in the house, especially if he has a son. a carbon copy just in a smaller size.

definitely passes on his basketball legacy and they would lose track of time. you had to call them multiple times over dinner only to get responded with "5 more minutes!" and lasted for another hour.

tells them the importance of teamwork no matter how good they are in basketball. he doesn't want his child to repeat his mistake in the past.

"why are you worried over the exam you just finished, when the scores aren't out yet at that? honey, tell the kiddo what place i was during high school," he said as he laid down on the sofa, watching tv while picking on his nose. "your dad was in last place."

he would give a lesson to whoever tries to pick up on or belittle his child.

try to position himself a friend instead of a parent so they'll not be afraid to open up to him.

calls them with pet names he comes up with or he just go with "oi kiddo"

lots of skinship and he often buries them under his large body or traps their head under his shirt when he's being playful.

"don't grow up too fast. i'll be sad, you know?"

Murasakibara

despite his habit of unhealthy eating, he restricts his child to do the same.

"no more candies." "but dad, you had it more than me. can i, please?" "no. you're still growing, your teeth will rot." "so can i eat as much as you once i grow up?" "still no."

the happiest when the school invites parents for a one-day activity together. the other children hover around him because they find his purple hair amusing.

you were amazed by how much he had matured after having a child compared to before the marriage.

rewards them with snacks and sweets if they achieve something.

loves to give them teddy bear hugs.

Akashi

sets good examples that his child would follow; a man with manners.

pays full attention to their education. at the same time he takes things slowly and is aware that his child isn't a machine that should excel at everything.

"please do tell me if you ever feel like the lesson doesn't suit you. talk to me, okay?"

says "i love you" or "you're the greatest thing ever happened in our life" whenever he gets the chance.

tries his best to spend some time with them despite his busy schedules as he doesn't want to lose track of their growth.

takes them along to his business trips, classical concerts or simply playing basketball with the uncles from Teiko in hopes that his child will learn naturally by watching.

he would never demand them to be perfect like the doctrine he received from his father, because his child's happiness is number 1 priority above anything else.

teaches them leadership skills and how to earn other people's respect without hurting them.

overall, he avoids to repeat his past by being more considerate and affectionate to his own child which he treasured so much.

[davidpastrsnack]

hiiiii this is my first bit of writing!!! it’s our fav ratty matty and was supposed to be a little blurb but it got kinda long (1507 words) lol. please let me know what you think and send in some requests!

It’s not that you didn’t think Matthew fighting was hot, it’s just that sometimes he doesn’t know when enough is enough. 

Nearly one week into the bubble, Matthew and the Flames were playing in the first game of the qualifying round against Winnipeg. Saying goodbye was harder than you even imagined it would be. 

You woke up to an empty bed, rolling over in search of Matthew’s warmth only to find cold, crisp sheets in his place. You winced as you lifted yourself out of bed, quickly remembering the events that transpired the night before, Matthew making sure you got a proper goodbye. You stumbled into the kitchen area wearing just his t-shirt to find him standing over the stove, quite the spread laying out on the counter before you. All of your favorite breakfast foods (that he could cook) along with a fresh bouquet of red roses, also your favorite. That’s when you felt them, the tears starting to burn behind your eyes as the reality of him leaving struck. Matthew hadn’t heard you yet, his bare back facing you with grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. His curls were a mess, partly your doing from the night before, and you just knew that his tongue was poking out of his mouth in concentration. 

“Fuck,” Matthew muttered as the hot oil hit his chest. You couldn’t help but giggle, finally gaining his attention. He groaned as he saw you, a soft smile on your face, “You’re not supposed to be awake yet. I was gonna bring you coffee in bed and then walk you out here.” 

“Matty,” you whispered, terrified that your voice would betray you. His typically stormy blue eyes softened and he sighed as he walked towards you. He knew exactly what you were feeling and what you needed. His arms opened up and pulled you into his body, feeling you relax the second you were in his grasp. You tightly wrapped yourself around his toned middle, nuzzling in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. His hands moved to your head, pressing a long kiss to the top of your hair.

“I know, baby, I know. But this is what we’re gonna do,” he pulled back to look into your eyes, cupping your already tear stained cheeks. “We’re gonna enjoy this breakfast, that I got up extra early to make,” you rolled your eyes, letting a laugh slip out at his slight chirp. “And we’re gonna make the most of the next two hours together. Then we’ll say goodbye. Okay?” His thumbs brushed against your soft skin as you looked up at him. 

“Okay,” you smiled. 

“That’s my pretty girl,” he quietly cheered, just trying to lift your mood before the sadness set in for good. 

And now you were here, sitting on the couch in the Tkachuk house watching game 1 unfold. Matthew suggested you go back to St. Louis for a bit once he left, knowing how close you got with his family during quarantine. It was an easy decision, with your classes still online and Chantal eagerly welcoming you back into her home. Not even 1o minutes into the game, Matthew was already the center of attention. As soon as Scheifele fell to the ice withering in pain, you knew he was in for one the rest of the night. It clearly wasn’t intentional, and the regret was apparent in his face, but you knew that Winnipeg would make him pay. And that they did. There was no denying that watching the way Matthew threw his gloves off and rolled up his sleeves before squaring up with Wheeler had you aching for him, but the seemingly constant hits after had you cringing each time. Kieth and Taryn were loving it, faces grinning whenever Matthew was involved in anything, but to your right was Chantal, who shared your worry for her first born. 

“Sometimes I just look away when he’s causing trouble,” she gently spoke to you with a soft smile, sensing the anxiety radiating from your body. 

You laugh, “That obvious that I’m struggling over here?”

She moved to place a hand on your shoulder, rubbing in calming circles, “Trust me, I get it, sweetie.”

Hours later you were snuggled into your bed in the guest room, waiting for Matthew’s call. You had changed into a pair of sleep shorts and one of his big hoodies, the scent of his cologne still lingering on the fabric. You felt yourself dozing off against the pillow, cursing each time your head bobbed awake. You knew that he would have a lot of media to do regardless, but his many extracurricular activities of the night didn’t help. You just needed to hear his voice, you needed to know he was okay. Just as your eyes began to close again, your phone started buzzing in your hand. Matthew was splayed across your screen and you answered immediately, impatiently waiting for the FaceTime call to load so you could finally see his face. 

“There you are baby,” he cooed, already desperately missing your post game hug. He was back in his hotel room, calling you the second he was finally alone. He had his hood pulled over his head, but you could still see the damp curls falling down onto his forehead. “What’d you think?” His face was laced with his classic smirk, knowing that you would have a lot to say and reveling in teasing you. 

“Matthew,” you warned, not appreciating his attitude. You were in no way surprised, but you were clouded by your genuine concern for the rest of the series. “I love watching you win but that was painful.”

“What, you didn’t like watching me drop the gloves? Hmmm?” he chuckled as you rolled your eyes. He was still riding the high of such an exciting win and hadn’t yet processed how worried you really were. 

“Matty, I’m serious. I don’t think you understand how hard it is for me, and your mom, to sit here and watch people go after you. And I know it’s your job, but it only took you five minutes to paint a bright red target on your back and I can’t handle watching you get hurt, especially not when I can’t even be there with you,” your voice trailing out at the end. 

Matthew’s face dropped right away. He paused to take in your appearance, your eyes were laced with exhaustion and he could see you chewing the inside of your cheek, a tell tale sign you were anxious. He was used to stressing out his family with the trouble he caused on the ice, but you were different. He couldn’t stand to see in you any kind of distress, and knowing that he was the source of it killed him. 

“Baby, I- I’m sorry you’re so nervous. I can’t promise that I’ll turn into a saint overnight, but I can promise that I won’t do anything too stupid. And I’ll be careful. I’m a big boy, remember? I can shake off a few Jets,” he flashed a grin at you as he saw your laugh, finally breaking your worried expression. 

“I’m going to hold you to that, and I’m sure your mom will too,” you smiled.

Matthew’s head fell back in laughter, “Oh I have no doubt that you two have it covered together.”

After you both came down from the short fit of laughter, you sighed, “I miss you Matty. I miss you a lot.”

His heart broke hearing your words. He felt the same way, reality slapping him across the face every morning when he woke up alone. “I know, sweetheart. Fuck, I can’t even begin to explain how much I need you. But remember what I told you when I left, just say the word babygirl and I’ll be on a flight home tonight.” And he meant in. Never in his life before meeting you would he even imagine passing up on a chance to win the cup for a girl, but here he was, offering without an ounce of hesitation. 

You couldn’t help blushing at his words, but you were direct in your response. “No way, I better not see you for months,” you smiled. 

Matthew’s laughter joined your own, loving how easily you could throw him a chirp, even during such a tender moment. “I’m working on it, just for you,” he grinned. 

The rest of the night was spent talking and rambling about anything and everything, both just enjoying hearing the other’s voice. Before you knew it, your eyelids were slipping shut and you were quickly fast asleep. Matthew couldn’t help but stare, so content as he watched your body rise with each breath, desperately wishing he was there to hold you. Even though he was physically and mentally exhausted from the game, he fought the urge to close his eyes, until his body ultimately took over. With neither one of you ending the call, you laid together all night as if nothing was different. 

[dylanlila]

hi jo, hope you're doing better today 🧣🍁🍓

here are some bookish this or that questions for you

- physical book or audiobook or ebook

- classics or new releases

- library or bookstore

- standalone or series

- one book at a time or multiple books at once

- mood reader or planned tbr

- fav book as a movie or fav movie as a tv show

Hey! I'm much better now, thank you! Still freaking out a little bit, but I'm managing it (I think?). Thanks for sending this and checking in❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

- physical book (I'm finding it really hard to wholeheartedly get into ebooks not due to pretentious reasons this time, I just genuinely can't get into them though I'm fascinated by the concept. And audiobooks take away from the experience for me. I'm also finding it hard to focus whenever I try to listen to them?????)

- classics! definitely classics!

- library without a doubt

- standalone

- multiple books at once

- it depends on my schedule, sometimes books are a fulltime (fulfilling and magical) job sometimes a home to come back to

- fav movie as a tv show (Tho I'm not at all against adaptations of any kind, I'm very good at separating the material. It's just... more worlds for me to enjoy!)

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[orbitariums]

happy together | ransom drysdale

anon asked: Hey! I was wondering if you write for Ransom Drysdale? If you do could you write something where he’s married but bc of his relationship with his family, none of them know &when the questioning takes place he unwilling tells everyone about it and how he couldn’t have done it bc he was with the reader the whole time yet they don’t believe him so the reader shows up and backs him up by showing the detective a video of their activities that took place that night and he’s super cute with the reader?      

note: so i saw knives out when it came out and i had to freshen up a bit!! ransom is not a fav of mine for obvious reasons BUT i can appreciate a good ransom imagine, and i think this is one. i wasn’t quite sure how to write it at the beginning but it became so fun throughout. a short and sweet read. thanks anon!

word count: 1.8k

     "He doesn't even have an alibi!" screeched Joni.

She wasn't the only one screeching - everyone's voices overlapped one another's in the living room where the family questioning was taking place. Ransom was the target of the hour and he was slouched uncomfortably in a classic grandfather chair, trying to maintain his stoic calm as his family griped at each other and specifically him.

He really didn't want to have to come to this point - but it was either that, or getting accused for murder. So, he would have to go to that point.

     "I couldn't have been there," Ransom muttered, first quietly because he was trying to keep calm under the pressure.

    Meg rolled her eyes,

   "What was that? Speak up Ransom, you always seem to have so much to say!"

A raucous chorus of agreement ensued, and Ransom took in a deep breath, this time speaking louder, but calmly, effectively hushing the crowd,

     "I couldn't have been there, because I was at home with my wife."

He locked eyes with the detective, who simply glanced at him, eyebrows quirked just slightly. Meanwhile, his entire family went beserk, bewildered by his statement. But of course he wouldn't have told them of his marriage, and they wouldn't have known to begin with. No one was invited to the wedding. It was private, just the two of them and a wedding clerk. And that was just how Ransom wanted it - no crazy family drama to interrupt, no noses in his business. Just him, and you, his lovely wife. Much sweeter than him, but still a perfect match for his demeanor. So, while everyone took in the sudden news, Ransom tuned them out, although his face grew hot and his jaw grew taut. No one was supposed to know, at least for as long as he could keep it a secret. He wasn't planning on telling anyone, and he wasn't willing to. But again, the circumstances were dire.

    "Hm," Detective Blanc nodded slowly, taking in the situation.

    "Well- you're not just gonna believe him, are you detective?" stuttered Walt.

Detective Benoit Blanc seemed to be thumbing over Ransom's options in his mind, to prove his own statement true. Finally he spoke, silencing the room in that magnetic way of his,

    "Bring your wife. Tell her to bring evidence that you were there that night, and evidence that you're married of course. Now, let's break, shall we?"

| | |

    You instantly knew what you had to do, the moment Ransom called. You had insisted that you join him to support him during the questionings, but he refused, wanting to keep this a secret until he simply was unable to. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate you greatly, or want to show you off - just not to his family, for reasons he'd explained in depth ever since you started dating. But now that he called you, you were ready immediately. What better way to reveal yourself to the family than with great triumph, as you proved your husband innocent?  

    A hush went over the room as you entered. No one had ever seen you before, and your beauty and grace as you stood tall and resilient despite the hectic circumstances encapsulated everyone. And there was no doubting that you were Ransom's wife - the way your eyes glowed cold and belittling, shooting daggers at everyone in the room without even looking at one person in particular. Not unlike Ransom, you weren't too fond of his family either, from what he'd told you.

     Though you'd always imagined that maybe one day you would meet under better circumstances, when Ransom had perhaps patched things up with his family, and you could put on a very wide smile and network your way through one of their famous dinner parties, cold hand in another cold hand as you introduced yourself: "Hi, I'm YN, Ransom's wife." But that wasn't the way you would be meeting, and thank god you got to skip past the sickly sweet drama of it all. What better way to meet the family than in this way?

    You turned immediately on your ankle boot heel to face the detective, Ransom gazing at you with pleading eyes. You wore a trench coat length leather jacket over your shoulders, and a cable knit turtle neck top that matched Ransom's.  In your manicured, unbattered hands you held a crisp manila file folder tight to your chest, which contained legal documents officiating your marriage with Ransom, and video evidence that proved his alibi. It was all down to you.  You were his saving grace.

    You spoke steadily and calmly, just like Ransom would, except you spoke in a poised, eloquent way, truly unbothered by the glares and stares of confusion that you were getting from his so-called "family."  Their stares burned hot like knives in your back, and yet you persisted. Your husband was innocent.  You would be the one to prove it, fully and completely, within thrall.

    "Detective," you finally spoke, your voice smooth and just the right amount of husky. "I'm Y/N Drysdale, wife of Ransom Drysdale. I understand I've been called here to vouch for the innocence of my husband, who I can assure you, has no business being here among such - well, if I may be honest - insipid bastards."

    You turned to face the family on that last part, turning them to stone just with the undeniable spite in your eyes, even earning a gasp from Joni. You turned back immediately as if nothing had happened, and on Ransom's face creeped a victorious smirk. Attagirl, he thought.

     "But I digress," your heels clacked against the wooden floor as you walked directly in front of the detective, and passed him the folder full of evidence. "I understand you'll be wanting this."

    The detective, amused by your film noir act, took the folder with grateful hands, and nodded. He sifted through the documents, you sitting down next to Ransom and holding his hand all throughout, giving it a squeeze. The detective made pleased humming noises as he sifted through the documents - so the marriage was legit. Now all that was left was a video tape, showing the time stamp in which Ransom had been at home with you, the thing that would prove him innocent.

     "A movie," Detective Blanc joked, only gaining laughter from himself. "Let's see, then."

He put the tape in, and the activities of that night unfolded - in embarrassing, unfittingly cute time.

    "Ransom, really, I can't be bothered!" despite your pleas, you were laughing giddily as Ransom hugged and tugged at you from behind, distracting you from your tax of stirring up homemade chocolate cake mix.

    "Really, because you seem to like this," Ransom laughed, so carefree and happy - unlike him. He was teasing you, as always, something his family would never even expect to see. But it was happening so clearly on video, him holding you and caressing you, biting joyfully at your neck.

    "You're going to make me waste this unborn chocolate cake, is that what you want?" you squealed as he picked you up, nevermind the fact that you were carrying a bowl of creamy chocolate cake mix.

      "I can think of better things to eat," he cooed.

Skip.

    "Ha! That's three games in a row I've won, pay up!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air in victory.

    Earlier, you and Ransom had agreed that if you won three games of Uno with him, he'd give you a foot massage. He didn't need a bet to agree to that, but he thought it was cute how you were up to the challenge.

    "Sure. But I would've done it anyway," Ransom reassured you, standing up to get the stuff he needed.

     "Mhm, I know. You adore me, of course you would!" you exclaimed, laying back on the couch and propping your feet up in a very Hollywood actress fashion, flipping your hair as a smile took over your features. "But I like beating you."

    "Game of luck," Ransom retorted, coming back into the room with a full massage kit.

    "Game of strategy. Which I see you have none of," you teased him, and Ransom let you, a full lipped smile on his face.

    "You know I'm letting you bask in this, right?"

    "Oh, believe me, I know."

Skip.

    It was just before your bedtime, but you and Ransom were sharing a glass of evening wine, sitting across from each other on your couches. You were dressed in a darling, expensive silk robe, and Ransom had on his best loungewear. Being rich had its small perks like that.

    You sighed into your wine glass, then taking a big gulp.  

    "Must be hard not being around your family, huh?" you asked, easing into the conversation, the deep blues and oranges of the sky outside setting the tone.

    "Not really," Ransom shrugged. "It's better without them, honest. It's not hard to not see them. It's great not to, in fact."

    You chuckled bitterly,

    "I hear that. I love my family, but they can be-"

    "A pain in the ass," both you and Ransom said at once, and you ended up shaking your heads with knowing smiles.

    "Cheers to that," Ransom offered, leaning across to clink his glass with yours. You obliged, and then you both took big sips.

    "Hm... I'm going to tune out soon. Care to join me?"

    "It's all I ever want to do."

Skip.

    It appeared that you were in the bathtub, Ransom kneeling on the floor next to you, your entire body covered with soap and bubbles while he reached a bath cloth in, gently rubbing the cloth against your soapy body, while faint music played in the background.

    "Uh- this won't be necessary, will it?" Linda's voice cut into the video.

She was definitely more concerned than you were - as you were watching the tape with a mischievous smirk, knowing exactly where this was heading.

    "Who has security cameras in their bathroom?" Meg snorted, making a snide comment. 

Barely turning your head to face her, you responded,

    "Hmm, you would think that you would. To get video evidence of all the shit that comes out of your mouth."

    "Well, I must agree. That is enough. And judging by the time stamps-" Detective started, and you simply sighed, rolling your eyes - what a waste of precious time, proving your obviously innocent husband innocent.

    "He was there. With me. Enjoying lovely time with his lovely wife, his hand in marriage, his eternal partner. And obviously, he's innocent. Now, may we please be dismissed? It reeks of simple minds in here."

    And in that moment, Ransom had never smiled so genuinely in front of his own family. All thanks to you.

[peachcitt]

fanfic year in review - 2020

hey laddies i was tagged by both @miabrown007 and @strangerahne to do this, so without further ado here we go!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished: 

Bone Tea (march) // All These Selfish Feelings (march) // Doomed from the Start (may) // Wouldn’t it be Nice (may) // my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (may) // screw the classics, and screw you for believing in them (june) // Friendship Bracelets (june) // Those Benevolent Stars (june) // the dark and the stained glass watchers (july) // Bloodsucker (july) // Messy Advances (july) // Happy Endings, the Sun, and Other Steps to Madness (july) // Guessing Game (august) // Passion Fruit Sunset [zine piece, currently unavailable] (september) // Home Coming [zine piece, currently unavailable] (november) // here (november) // bread and oranges (november) // clarity (november) // burgundy, near black (december) // About Emma Martin (december) // cherries (december) // falling, flying (december) // aloe-infused fuzzy socks (december)

23 fics??? okay well looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

2) Number of words written:

219,184 words (which includes my unfinished fics on ao3 and the wips i haven’t posted)

again looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

3) Your most popular fic:

friendship bracelets - the first in the series of my homoerotic college au zukka fics. honestly? i can’t even say im surprised

4) Your personal fav:

MAN this is hard. okay it’s gotta be a four-way tie between bone tea, those benevolent stars, home coming, and screw the classics and screw you for believing in them but really i could be lying because i wrote so much this year (i guess now last year?) that i was really really proud of 

5) Your fav scene:

okay i have a lot of favorites but for right now i’ll say: the scene in chapter 3 of those benevolent stars when adrien and marinette are sitting on the banks of the seine and they talk about their favorite colors and adrien’s soulmate - it’s such a quiet and gentle moment, and because you know that their favorite colors are based off each other’s eyes but only marinette knows that and because you know adrien is talking about his soulmate to his soulmate and she knows it but he doesn’t. it’s full of such beautiful, tragic dramatic irony that i just love so so much

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

hm okay the last few chapters of bone tea were definitely challenging not only because of, like, the big fight scenes (which, im not really comfortable writing fight scenes) but also because i had take all of the mess of emotions in bt and wrap it all up into a conclusion that needed to be satisfying. the same could be said about happy endings, the sun, and other steps to madness (minus the fight scene part)

writing impure - my changeling jim au fic - has also been a fun challenge because i basically watch trollhunters episodes as i write, examining each line of dialogue and each character interaction and seeing how that scene or relationship would be changed by the fact that jim is a changeling. it was also a little challenging to keep everything fresh and new - especially at the times when the dialogue from the show stayed the same in the fic, but so far, im really really happy with the way the fic is going

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

off the top of my head are these two lines, both from screw the classics:

It was the ‘Daisy, Daisy, Daisy’s, over and over. Like her name conveyed some sort of deeper meaning that she expected Daisy to be able to understand. Like if she repeated it enough, it would become a sort of prayer that God would listen to, that He would enact to make Daisy put her fists away for once in her pitiful life. It was just “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy” over and over until her name stopped sounding like a name, like a word, and it was just a sound to fill the silence so that neither of them would have to talk about the way Basira’s touch lingered each time she wiped blood away or the way Daisy would always sit so that her knees touched Basira’s even though they were on the floor and there was more than enough room for them to breathe different air.

and

But sometimes Jon was easier than Basira. He didn’t have any of Basira’s softness - he was all edges and sharp lines. His elbows were basically knives, and his hips were edged with broken glass.

the first paragraph i really love because there’s almost a rhythm to it - like poetry - and i love the sound of it and all that it means in the context of the fic. 

the second little bit i just love because every so often i think about it and i love the imagery and metaphor and the way it fits jon - in canon and in this fic. in this fic, they’re all in high school so jon is gangly and skinny and bony and in general, he’s just abrasive and a little rude. this description of him i just love (and the way i described him from martin’s pov in doomed from the start; “Jonathan Sims looked, even from a distance, as if he was perpetually smelling something awful. His features, just left of handsome, were marred by furrowed eyebrows and a distasteful frown.”)

8) A comment that touched you:

LITERALLY SO MANY????? the comments on the final chapter of bone tea, telling me that the story was something that they loved and found comfort in, the long comments on any of my fics detailing their exact favorite parts, the comments that were just short jokes that made me laugh out loud - literally i can’t pinpoint one. im just so thankful to have written things that people respond to with such kindness and love

9) Something that inspired your writing:

music!!!!!! i found myself making playlists for a few of my fics this year or listening to specific old playlists of mine for the right mood for a fic, and it’s really inspired me to write

also, as always, my own personal experiences. i thought and felt a lot this year, and i think in every single one of the fics i posted this year, you can probably find a central thought or feeling driving it that no doubt comes from my personal life

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

finishing bone tea and tying the title to the fic!!!!!!!! finishing happy endings and also tying that title to the fic!!!!!! getting accepted into two different zines and working with two different amazing artists and completing those fics!!!!!!!! literally writing anything at all!!!!!!!!!

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

i think mainly i just want to write, you know? i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself, because this past year i put so much pressure on myself that i was constantly feeling like i was underperforming (which was, like, super untrue, but you know how it goes) so when i wasn’t writing i felt like i was wasting time. i mean, don’t get me wrong, i had so much fun writing and creating all of these things that im so so proud of, it’s just the space in between writing sessions that i want to let myself breathe in. i don’t want to dread thinking about writing for fun anymore because that’s not fun

besides that, i think my other goals are to just continue forward with my unfinished projects - impure, the new wave, the bone tea extras - and to officially start the other two long fic ideas i have for mlb that ive been really excited about for a long while. this past year i wrote a lot of one shots (like. so many. oh my god) so maybe this year i might focus on long projects. who knows though definitely not me it’ll be a surprise for all of us

=

anyway that’s all!! thanks mia and strangerahne for tagging me!! ive been needing a lot of reminders lately that i have, in fact, written this year, and having to, like, do math and scroll through my ao3 page and all my google docs has been really enlightening so thanks so much for this

i tag: @lnc2, @chatnoirinette, @deinde-prandium, and @rosekasa! y’all don’t have to do this, but i’d love to see how y’all felt about your works this year and also to see y’all love yourselves very much because you deserve it. also literally anyone can do this you can just say i tagged you i don’t mind it’ll be our secret - i highly encourage it because it’s very sweet and very fun to look back on all you’ve accomplished this year

<3<3<3<3

[kikiscastleinthesky]

THE SOKKASM ZUTARA

I’ve seen a lot of tumblr blogs that ship zutara and I decided that is time for me to open mine too. So, yes, I’m a zutara shipper. And for the time being, my posts are going to be dedicated principally to analyze the ships in ATLA. 

Disclaimer alert:  I’m not forcing anyone to ship zutara. And I won’t accept hate because I (and many others) may have a different opinion, If you are one of those persons I invite you to leave, don’t waste my time and yours, because I’m not even going to reply. Everyone has the right to ship whatever they like and want, without been mocked, harrassed and humiliated. 

Well... now that everything is settled: 3...2...1 go!

I’m starting with this small analysis, because every zutara shipper has been attacked on why zutara and zutara is horrible yada yada but, this ocassion I’m gonna use all the attacks we get and defend it. 

I. Zutara is way the worst toxic relationship:

You call Zuko the abuser, the toxic and the bad tempered? Then you     didn’t get a clue of his redemption arc.

You call zutara toxic for:

a)     giving your mother’s closure and final acceptance into the group?

b)     saving each other’s life?

c)     being the “leading co-parenting” of the group?

d)     support you when you’re about to beg for his uncle forgiveness?

II. The cave scene didn’t mean anything, and just think about it, they would never ever get along well:•      

  Of course, I misunderstood Zuko confessing his own grief, probably he just hates her.

When Katara opens to her mother sorrow like she never did with anyone was like no big deal.

 That part when she offers to heal his scar with SACRED water was totally illogical.

And being the first person who he let touch his scar really said to me that they were absolutely toxic.

 Yes, he betrayed her initial trust. And it hurt, but guess who betrayed worst? The man who for three years was his father. But nope, Iroh, should never forgive Zuko, for what he did. (Right? Katara was betrayed and she should bever have interest in him, so Iroh would never forgive his abuser, right?)

III. Zutara is about getting in love with your abuser:

The abuser love? When did Zuko abused Katara? When did he forced to do something she didn’t want? Did he ever physically abused her or sexually assaulted her? Even if he tied her to a tree, he never humiliated her, he never hurt her or overpass against her. Or are you trying to make up his whole plot to eliminate all his attacks towards team avatar only rest in the female character? (Have you forgot how he betrayed his uncle? Or even himself?)

IV. Zutara is an age gap, it would be underage thing. “You don’t like Aang because he is a child and still pair Zuko, being a minor.” You want to hypersexualize two kids (Aang and Katara) into having sexual interest.

Katara would have been dating an underage guy too. She would have been 18 and Aang 16. I know! Age gap only matter when the man’s older. Both Katara and Zuko had gone through puberty, and both were in adolescence, both shared the same maturity level. Yes dude, there a huge difference in being a CHILD and being a TEENAGER, yes, still minor, But with puberty hit already.

Actually, I still believe even being 11-12 you can get like a… spark… a hint. Even if its not a relationship whatsoever, and not having sexual interest of any kind. If you really want to see what closest we get to a “real” attraction and potential between kiddos that age, you get S1Mike and Eleven (stranger things) / you get Chihiro and Haku (Spirited away) / you get Pazu and Sheeta. (The castle in the sky) –Wooo, that really changes things right?

But yet there are people that believe shipping zutara is “pedophile” I thought in seriously not replying to this stupidities but, here I am, dismantling their theories.

So, this is real life. An adult person trying to sleep with a prepubescent kid. So… there is no support on this. Because a ship is about two fictional characters in a fictional story.

What about fictional pedophilia? Well, we can change that: Fictional pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder when you ship an adult fictional character (+18) to have a sexual interest in a fictional prepubescent child (-12) and / or attempt to engage both characters in sexual acts.

So step one… are either Zuko or Katara either an adult or prepubescent child? As you can see in the image at the right, both have gone through puberty. Step two, are you trying to a couple of minors to get sexually involved? No, this is a love story, not porn. And before you yell at me for the porn zutara comics/fics on the web, I guess you should see the porn Kataang /fics comics on the web too.

But I don’t hate any ship. So, technically, neither Kataang, nor Sukka, nor Yukka, nor Jetara, nor Maiko is pedophilia.

Ok, yeah yeah its not pedo, but is statutory rape, so yet it’s illegal.

Oh yes, if we state that 18 is the age where you are considered an adult (at least in my country) both are minors, your term is partially correct. But guess what would be statutory rape too?

Sukka (15) and Maiko (16-17), both implied to have sex relationships and canon during the series.

The episode "The Southern Raiders" became (in)famous among the fandom for what is a truly epic instance of this trope. Zuko bumps into a very flustered Suki on the way to Sokka's tent, and she hurriedly excuses herself. He walks into Sokka's tent to ask him a question and finds him pants-less and surrounded by flowers and candles. He even greets Zuko with a suggestive "Well helloooo..." before he realizes who itis. After a short talk, he rushes Zuko out and sticks his head out to call for Suki. And if there was any doubt, Sokka is shown the next morning fiddling with a flower necklace for no apparent reason... except to indicate that maybe Suki had been “deflowered”.

And yet, if Kataang had sex, it would be statutory sex at some point too: 16 and 18 -Conclusions: Statutory sex takes all ships equally.

V. Poor Aang he would be devastated.

Kid, he’s 12, in the comics he’s 13-14. Or what? Haven’t you guys had a broken heart ever? Your high school sweetie? Or Aang’s so frail to not be able to find love? To close himself for a better opportunity? Seeking your own happiness in not selfish. What is selfish is seeking your own happiness at the other expenses.

And even that, we all know what would Aang do if Katara starts a relationship with Zuko. (Even if it wasn’t Zuko, I highly doubt he would like Katara dating someone else) He would go on avatar rampage. That is NOT healthy, that is NOT romantic. That is extremely possessive and selfish to do. It’s psychotic. Because Aang cares more about himself than Katara’s feelings, even if she would be happier without him.

VI. Zutara is all about sex interest.

Well once more you mistake chemistry with sexual needs. Wanting me to sleep with my husband means I only use him for sex relief? If I find myself sexually attracted to anyone probably means I just want to sleep with that person and nothing else.

VII. A hug is all zutarians have to acknowledge zutara:

We have a complete extended analysis in all the small details, but we like to use that forgiveness hug because in that hug you have more potential that all the kataang scenes all together. We have thousands of complete analyses, pages dedicated exclusively zutara. 

VIII. Katara “fell in love with Aang” and it’s not one sided.

Uh... Nope, just because two persons are good friends it doesn’t mean they are a good couple. Yes, the way the both of them interact is absolutely beautiful, But not romantically.

Do we see Katara’s view on romantically being drawn towards Aang? Yes, we see it, and yes, unfortunately, is one sided.

How Kataangers complete this:

·       The fortune-teller: I didn’t see like “Wow omg the avatar is going to be my future husband!” But… was like “uh… really?… well, I guess it’s him” Zutarians and Aunt Wu are the base for many backs up theories. ;) Aang is not the only powerful bender you know? And actually, that episode is way trying too hard to demonstrate the crush Meng has for Aang and Aang has to Katara. How is even healthy to accept that sometimes persons don’t like you back and it’s not the end of the world.

·       The cave scene: I forgot that Katara is telling him to be her boyfriend and they will live happily ever after. And really, it all gets us to a real Oma and Shu theory. Not to mention that they were “forced” to kiss because their kids innocence believed if they kissed, they wouldn’t die, and that Aang messed up things as well. But if you see it beneath, if she was truly interested, she would have told Aang: “wow omg we kissed, ok. let’s give him a clue…” nothing, she goes back in treating him same as always.

·       The headband dance: Well that’s a fair point yes. Actually, I felt something different…unfortunately Katara later had to tell him not to kiss her.

IX. Zutara is because you projected on Katara and had a crush on Zuko, because Katara and Zuko were your favourite characters and because is the bad boy style romance.

My crush was Jet <3, and zutara was the most logical endgame for girls. Ask any girl, ANY 14 yo who would like to date: A high school, nice and handsome guy or a 7th grader that had potential to be her best friend. (See the logic) 

And nope is not like “Insert fav characters of the opposite sex to ship them” You need to see real development.

I don’t know why they stereotype Zuko as the “bad boy” – relationship archetype. Zuko is never seen to be the classic fuck boy who treats girls like shit and suddenly there comes a lady to change him. Maybe he is a “bad boy” (confused though) in S1 and S2, but his redemption arc is literally the answer of why he is not “bad boy” anymore.

If Katara was truly and really romantically interested then she wouldn’t have friendzoned Aang. Once? Nope 4 times. And also… are we forgetting kind of imagery…

Friendzoned  

 When Aang fixes her a small necklace with the fishing  thread.

 When he kissed her at the invasion. She didn’t  reciprocate it. (I’m not even mentioning the mommy proud speech)

 When he wanted to talk about the kiss in the western  air temple (Comic love is a battlefield)

 When he kissed her at the play and she had to told  him to back off.

 Strange imagery

 She was June Pippinpaddleopsokopolis (Aang’s  granddaughter)

When Aang got shot, she held his body in her arms in  the exact way Mary held Jesus in Pieta’s sculpture.

 She was Sapphire Fire. (Aang’s pregnant mother)

After they got married, in the book legacy, she said  she enjoyed most seeing Aang becoming a man. (Honestly ladies if I got a BF  the least I want is seeing how the kid transforms into a man)

I’m looking forward to watch you grow into manhood  as I did to your father (Katara’s letter to Tenzin)

 I’m really  trying to deny Oedipus complex here.

Still hard for me to track Katara’s love interest for little Aang since all we see is more a relationship mom/sister or Harry/Hermione. I have heard rumours that Bryke wanted to give the ship “mystery” and “expectation” but I think they really messed up, I didn’t see expectation or mystery, I saw a child insisting to a girl that didn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t even like she didn’t have much of a chance, because her love interests:

Was killed by Long Feng

Gave him a hideous mustache and disappeared him after Azula’s attack in the western air temple.

Forced to be attached to a toxic relationship.

Apart that all those points I’ve mentioned, Kataang is not a relationship for me. Staying in a formal relationship with the first person they met of the opposite sex at 14 -12 (guys not even Disney does that, jeez not even studio Ghibli) and not having any chance to experience any other relationship. Never experiencing a broken heart, or someone better. I think that it gives the wrong idea, telling guys that no matter how long they are placed in friendzone, eventually the girl will fall for them. They just have to keep insisting.

You could say, but what a hypocrite! Snow White was 14 years old when she went to live with that prince! Many princesses are 16! And not to mention that many men were the first they met! Like Aurora, Rapunzel, and Cinderella. Well, you are right at one point. But ... the interaction of these characters changes radically, mainly because they never "give cute kisses" to their future husbands, nor do they treat them like their brothers or their children and ... the men were never friendzoned, except for Naveen at the beginning. You see the real attraction of teenage girls with an older boy. And I'm not saying that they should never be friends or support each other. Mulan and Chang were allies, friends, they supported each other, they saved their lives. But at no time was there the kind of interaction Katara and Aang had.

If Kataang was to be endgame, we would see Katara’s reaction to Jet, totally different, THAT kind of reaction was what I was waiting. (That kind of reaction is what every princess do, at least one time)

The same chemistry we saw in Yukka / Sukka. Honestly, I saw more chemistry between Haru and Katara.

Or at least give us some character development like: Aang, I know my feelings where not as you wanted but now I decided I want to be with you because (list everything here except he being the avatar), I really like you, perhaps we can give it a shot. Or like several things that could clue us that she is interested (come on people, two persons can kiss/hug/ have sex and that doesn’t imply they will be together in a formal relationship) But all we got was: Oh, right, he’s the avatar... suddenly I fell for him and I’m gonna kiss him fully in the mouth and that’s how I’ll tell him and that all my confusion has magically disappeared.

X. I’ve never saw that kind of spark between them. Again, it was “Just a hug”

Yes! That’s initially the whole point of it, a friendship hug, the truth of why we don’t need silly blushes. Because that forgiveness hug shows their initial relationship, they are friends! All their love needs to come first from a truthful friendship, by the contrary of calling the “immediate falling” like Aang did for Katara, it shows us that friendship love can evolve into something more beautiful, and that’s why we like the ship, because all zutara shippers know Zuko and Katara wouldn’t fall in love like that all of the sudden, they have to create the romantic relationship, and that’s what we portray in the fics.

What makes Zutara exceptional is that he, sees her, he hears her, he listens what she had to do, at anytime he forced her to do something she didn’t. And before a “teenager adolescence ship” he sees her as a human, with feelings with own ideals and goals.

And there is a complete and extremely well based analysis in: The crossroads of destiny + The southern raiders + The lighting saving.

XI. The comics show us how toxic they really where.

Their interaction in the comics was something I like to call: destroying a character. Not only Katara, who turned to be that awesome badass to the submissive girlfriend. From how I see it in the series to the comics there’s all I have to say: That’s not my girl.

XII. How Katara could be queen of a country that almost aniquilates her tribe and killed her mother? It would be a betrayal.

I think this argument is out. Not valid. Is like saying a Jew can’t date a German because of the holocaust. (German doesn’t mean nazi, just as Zuko, who was from the Fire Nation and didn’t order Katara’s mother assassination, and not every citizen of the fire nation means a ruthless killer). Is like saying that a Japanese can’t date a us citizen because of the bombs in WW2. And even if we see it “political”, is like… an aphrodescendant can’t rule a country that is racist, then Mr. Obama would have never reached the presidency.

Two persons can unify them, because they can demonstrate that being from different country that initally has not good terms can reach peace. The union between those countries represents the power of maturity, of overcoming adversities and the power of forgiveness. *Our lands now connected by love* And I want her to be queen, I want her to rule, I want her in charge, I want her in power. Imagine all the potential she could have (politics, business, negotiations, rebuilding, restoration, education, public health!! ***faints***) Not only for the fire Nation but for the whole world! Imagine that once Zuko abdicated they left to the south pole and she opened a fighting school and a healing school of her own (like master Pakku, but now her students are given a medical license that acknowledges them as professional healers) And this is just an idea. Like these ideas are hundreds. It would have been the perfect feminist role model!

XIII. Since the beginning, Katara was always interested in Aang and she always supported him and was for him when he needed her. That’s proof they were meant to each other.

If a girl expresses faith in your abilities, she loves you, she hugs you, and she supports you clearly she’s completely into you. Because obviously female best friends don’t exist.

[yikesola]

a definitive ranking and analysis of my top5 fav phan formsprings

this i love for a lot of the reasons i love their early tweets and their dailybooths and (of course) formsprings bc it was a clear beginning of things that would become a part of their repertoire for the next decade and yet here it was new and giggly and just as precious. teasing phil for his wild northern ways, upping his southland poshness, we see that constantly in their banter even into today and the best part is that whoever is making the joke is the one who gets the upper hand of course. here it’s dan bc sounding like the queen is obviously what quintessential british accents require right? but when phil does it, dan’s the uncultured one bc phil has all his slang (made up or otherwise) that dan is missing out on so thoroughly that he just has to take phil’s word for it (orrrr as a waffling that @ahappydnp​ and i were engaging in, he tries to ask kath or nigel if their son is full of shit and of course without missing a beat they back him up “oh yes, uggies, we use that all the time!”) 

i also think it’s adorable when they point out things that make them different, since they of course have so many damn similarities. it’s nice-- it’s a good formspring! 

this makes me feel things on many levels. on one hand this is an early example of people poking at them to find out exactly ~what~ dan and phil are to each other, and it’s early enough that it doesn’t quite feel like knives yet, but it’s clearly the beginning of a pattern that would continue and build and grow invasive and that’s :/

but, let’s focus on what i love about this formspring, bc there’s plenty to love! first this is a classic example of phil deflection (make em laugh, make em laugh, make em laaauuuugghhhhh!) and it works! he doesn’t have to say a goddamn thing that he doesn’t want to. privacy king! but also just what the joke he’s gone with implies: all of the above. they are, they always have been, everything to each other all at once. he loves dan and would date dan and is clearly already married to dan, and has to problem fondly laughing out an “i hate you” to dan. they just threw themselves into the deep end right from the beginning, as soon as it was clear what they meant to each other there was no holding back-- all of the above. 

so much with so little ;__; it absolutely kills me! it’s just not even a question. i think there’s a few options people’s mind jump to with this kind of question and usually it’s achingly human like “grab the nearest person and smooch them” or “eat an entire thing that i’m allergic to and never get to enjoy” or the most tender example that dan gave which is “tell my mother/child/person that i love them”

but hey let’s think about that ,, what would that 30 second phone call look like?? is he calling to ask for help? phil is someone who wants to help, he’s someone who has helped dan many times before. is he calling because phil can at the very least calm him down? take away the panic? or is he calling because the thought of those final thirty seconds being spent with anyone but phil is just impossible? would he even tell phil he’s dying? would he just call to say something stupid, just to ensure the last thing he hears is phil’s laugh? it’s melodramatic and too much too soon but wow if dan doesn’t mean it when he says ringing phil is his first and last instinct, and god do i love that for them

there was never going to be any doubt that this is my top phil formspring! it’s just ,, wow can you believe phil invented tenderness? i sure can! 

because let’s ponder for a moment what that means: dan smells like warm. he smells like comfort and safety and home. he smells not like something tangible, something bottled, something replicated. he smells like life and closeness and midnight whispers. phil, king of lateral thinking, didn’t say he smells like whatever deodorant middle class white boys were drenching themselves with in the early aughts. he didn’t say dan smelt like something out of their in-jokes (cherries, caramel macchiato) or even something simple but Nothing like “idk he smells fine, he smells good, he smells whatever” 

no--

he smells like warm ;__; 

it’s why small animals fall asleep the second they’re in his arms. it’s why cuddly tactile phil gravitates towards him. dan’s warmth radiates through him, out of his goddamn pores. 

oof <3 ten years on and this one hurts so good! we give phil a lot of credit for his knight of wands prediction (and rightfully so) but this here hurts in a different way. the intentionality of it all-- that’s the plan, if dan has anything to say about it then yes, he and phil will be best friends forever. there is so much good meta about the different ways that both dan and phil approach the concept of fate, and when you think about what it takes for dan to sit there and say he doesn’t believe in soulmates but accepts that phil is his that’s like ...... that’s telling. but fate is something dan doesn’t think just happens-- as with everything in life, it has to be worked for. he and phil are compatible, but he had to work to get his attention in the first place. they had to work that first year to see each other when there was the length of the country in between them. they had to work to balance their careers with their private lives, they had to work at remaining a strong unit despite the stressors of the closet, they had to work to overcome various family tragedies, mental health struggles, and the wear and tear of daily life. it’s part of the plan, a plan where the details change all the time based on where they are in their careers or what their personal life goals are or whether they now have to adjust their travel schedule to the needs of their darling son Norman. but the barebones of the plan, the fact that it was, is, always has been and always will be, dan&phil vs the world? that’s been the plan from the beginning. top tier formspring-- unparalleled!

****

Meta for @phandomficfests Bingo Fest, prompt: formspring

[takerfoxx]

FINAL SEASON OF SHE-RA DROPS TOMORROW, SO LET’S REVIVE SOMETHING I HAVEN’T DONE IN A LONG TIME BUT MOST CERTAINLY DESERVES AN ENTRY!

The fav(s) of the day are...

THE SUPER PAL TRIO!

Oh, these three. Never in my life have I connected so strongly to a villainous trio like I have with Catra, Scorpia, and Entrapta. And what’s awesome is that despite their wonderful chemistry as a unit, I fell in love with each character individually for completely different reasons.

SCORPIA!

Scorpia is my favorite She-Ra character, hands’ down. She is just a wonderful ball of sunshine, who, despite her powerful and intimidating appearance, is easily the most kind-hearted person in the show, and the fact that she was raised within the monstrous Horde and rarely doubts their principles only adds to the tragedy of her situation.

Scorpia is the classic brainwashed child soldier, someone who has had their ideology beat into her head since she was a baby, to the point where she cheerfully puts the best spin on the awful things happening around and to her as a defensive mechanism, from her ignorance of what really happened to her family to Catra’s constant abuse of her. She sees the best in people, often to her own detriment, but still refuses to stop doing what she thinks is right. Her obvious crush on Catra shows this, as she tries and tries and tries to stick up for her no matter what Catra does to her, and even after finally realizing what a bad person Catra is refuses to fully give up on her. In a kinder world, she would have grown up as a close friend of the other princesses and be renowned for her legendary kindness.

But not even being trapped in the Horde could keep her down. Despite her naivete, Scorpia finally sees the light in one of the best moments of the show and leaves the Horde. Not, I should point out, because of some earth-shattering revelation of the Horde’s evils, but because she realized that doing so would be the best way to save Entrapta. And after, it doesn’t take her long to endear herself to her former enemies, forming close bonds with Frostra, Perfuma, and Glitter. And even then, she STILL begs them not to hurt Catra, and does what she can to help the other Horde soldiers. Because in the end, all Scorpia wants is what’s best for her friends.

And did I also mention that she fucking kicks as as well? Hell, she 1v1′d SHE-RA! And now that she’s had her upgrade, she might be one of the top five strongest characters on the ground! 

I am BRAVE, STRONG, LOYAL, and I give GREAT HUGS

Also...

ENTRAPTA!

Scorpia may be my favorite character, but Princess Entrapta is my spirit animal. The living definition of Chaotic Neutral, Entrapta is a delightfully fun ball of energy and curiosity, and, I must admit, one of the reasons I wanted to check the show out, as I had seen a few clips of her interacting with Hordak and thought it looked intriguing.

Entrapta was a wild ride from the beginning, the classic manic inventor character that makes any scene so much more entertaining by her very presence. And as predicted, her defection to the Horde made sense and gave us a lot of great scenes. And her growing relationship with the normally terrifying Hordak was just great, from how she absolutely refused to be intimidated by him, leading him to be both perplexed and intrigued by her. Things were going just as I had hoped.

And then something magical happened.

It finally clicked with me that she was intended to be coded autistic, and to be quite frank I should have seen it from the beginning, from her single-minded interests to her constant movement with her hair to her awkward ways of interacting with other people to her bizarre food preferences to her unusual way of speaking to her...shaky grasp of morality. But once I saw it, it was obvious, and also made me happy. I mean, it wasn’t like I was over the moon about representation, but after so many other disappointing attempts at autistic characters, it was nice to finally have one that I already liked. Huh, that’s neat, I thought. 

But literally the day after I had figured that out I watched the episode about her finding out about Hordak’s weakness and her attempts to help him, and she gave that wonderful speech about how she was well aware that other people saw her as weird, and how beautiful imperfections could be, and oh my God, I have never had any speech by a fictional character hit me right in the heart like that one did. I felt it in my very bones, and from then on I absolutely adored Entrapta. Finally I had someone I could really relate to, even if I don’t particularly like science things and don’t have any hair.

Imperfection is what makes scientific experimentation possible. Imperfection is beautiful... at least to me.

And...

CATRA!

How someone so awful be so sympathetic and compelling?!

Adora might be the show’s main character and hero, but Catra is undeniably its star, a breakout character that has invited the most discussion, most devotion, and the most frustration. Unlike many kid show villains, Catra isn’t just evil because bad guy, but is a plainly damaged person who has suffered horrible physical, emotional, and mental abuse since she was a child and developed a psychology textbook full of insecurities and hang-ups as a result. 

With each successive season, we have watched her get consistently worse, as she desperately tries to rebel against the horrible hand she was dealt by getting back at Adora, the favored best friend who left her, against Shadow Weaver, the only mother figure she has ever known but still treated her awfully no matter what she did, and Hordak, who never really gave her the acknowledgement that she felt like she was due. She is so deeply craves validation from those who will never give it while pushing away those who did unconditionally care for her without realizing it. And she had multiple opportunities to break free from the abusive cycle that has defined her life only to double down due to her deep-seated triggers. She is someone who was never given any sort of praise from Shadow Weaver, who openly favored Adora, who in turn betrayed the Horde and “abandoned” Catra, and was still shown favor! She is someone who was prepared to destroy everything and everyone, not in hopes of winning, but just to make Adora lose. 

Her breakdowns are increasingly tragic, and the more toxic she gets, the more compelling she becomes. She is a realistic painting of how bad abuse can fuck up a person, a believable victim-turned-abuser, and instead of hating her for all the terrible things she’s done, the whole fandom is praying for her salvation. And despite anything I might have said in the past, I am one of them.

So, what? You're on the side of good now? You made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?