#Opposite situations but similar problems i guess yeah. Just ... I am always trying to listen. My memory can be shit so i can forget names

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 35

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Final Waystation chapter, yay!

Or: In which Leo and Calypso both make some progress.

A/N: OK, first of all, within these 3 weeks we have hit 3 pretty big milestones! 1) It was this fic's first anniversary this friday so hooray for that! Can't believe this story has been in my life so long already. 2) We've reached 7000 hits on ao3! It's crazy to think so many of you are reading this even though not all that many seem to like Caleo! And 3) We have also reached 90k words with this chapter! No, when I started planning this fic I definitely did not plan to make it over 100k words but that really seems to be the direction it's going to :'D I /do/ however hope that once we finally get the flatmates back to their flat, we are (slowly) starting our journey towards the 'final arc'. But how many words will that take? Only Apollo knows, I guess.

Alright, enough rambling! Now, enjoy and please, please, please, let me know what you think of this chapter (and the previous one if you haven't) because I /really/ do want to know what you think. Was it about time? Are these two being too sappy? And all that stuff!

Words: 4287

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After the whole ‘kitchen episode’ Leo and Calypso went back to spend some time with Leo’s family who were playing Monopoly in Waystation’s small library. Calypso had expected to be questioned about what had happened in the kitchen. To her surprise, though, Emmie just briefly asked if the flatmates had managed to resolve their issues, to which they answered a quick ‘yes’, and that was the end of that conversation. Even though Calypso was grateful that she or Jo hadn’t asked more, at the same time, one part of her did want to tell them.

Once a new round of Monopoly was finished (with Leo winning, even though the others kept whispering to him that he should let Georgina win), it was already pretty late and Leo and Calypso withdrew into their respective rooms. When it got quiet in the hallway, though, there was a knock on Calypso’s door.

“Who is it?” Calypso asked from her bed where she had been resting, thinking about the events of that day.

The voice from the other side of the door said: “Just me, Leo. Can I come in?”

“Sure, as long as you don’t do anything funny while in here,” Calypso replied, half joking, half serious.

“What, nothing funny? But Leo Valdez and fun go hand in hand,” he claimed through the door.

Calypso rolled her eyes at him even though he couldn’t see. “Ugh, you know what I mean. Listen, I know we are… um…” she stopped to taste the word in her mouth, “... dating now, but I have decided that I want to take it slowly. Too many bad experiences in the past. I hope you get that.”

“Alright, I understand,” Leo said to her relief. “Don’t worry, I won’t be trying anything ‘funny’ as you called it. I’m a man of my word!”

“In that case, you can come in here,” Calypso told him, sitting up on her bed.

Leo entered the room, still wearing the day clothes (surprisingly, jeans and a white shirt this time, and not his favorite overalls. While Calypso loved the overalls, she did have to admit that he looked pretty nice in the current outfit) even though it was already pretty late. Calypso herself had changed into her pajamas, a pink flannel shirt and pants that matched it. She followed Leo to a small couch opposite to her bed, sitting down next to him. At first she kept some space between them but after some hesitation and some encouraging looks from Leo, she finally snuggled up by his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her hand was laying on her pajama pants and he lowered his on it, tracing the outline with his thumb. Calypso was happy to notice he felt nicely warm on the cool winter night.

“I am glad we can do this now,” she said quietly, watching their hands.

“Me too. Although, we could probably have done it a whole lot earlier if we weren’t so damn stubborn,” Leo reminded her.

“Ouch. Yeah, that is probably true,” Calypso admitted, closing her eyes.

“So… it’s been a day,” Leo said when a silence fell between them. “It has…” Calypso agreed. “Weird how this morning seems to have happened like a year ago.” “Yeah…” Calypso shifted slightly on her spot by Leo’s side. “Can I ask you a question, though? How are you feeling now? You know… after… everything...”

“I… it’s hard to say,” Leo answered. “I’m not gonna claim that us kissing fixed all of my problems. Nah, it doesn’t work like that. Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome but - woah, am I really saying this? - I think the opening up part was more important. It clarified some things in my head. You know, like what I want to do and what I should do. And the fact that you have experienced something similar… This is probably gonna sound awful, but I was kinda relieved to hear that. Don’t get me wrong; I wish that you wouldn’t have had to go through any of that, but since you have… it means we understand each other. I can trust that you won’t judge me, which I honestly can’t say about all the people.”

“Yeah.” Calypso nodded slightly, not removing her head from his shoulder. “I know what you mean. I feel the same way.”

“And…” Leo continued, and Calypso imagined a grin spreading on his face, “Now I have some good memories to associate Christmas with. That definitely doesn’t hurt, right?”

“I’m glad I managed to give you something else to think about, then.” Calypso smiled.

“You certainly did. For real, I’ve had to pinch myself a couple of times this evening,” Leo confessed.

“Why?” Calypso frowned.

“Because it’s hard to believe it’s true. I mean this. Us.”

“And why is that?” Calypso wanted to know.

“Because you’re great in practically every possible way while I’m… me?”

Calypso raised her head from Leo’s shoulder and gave Leo her best ‘are you kidding me’ look. “Listen to me now. Aside from your guilt complex, you really should work on your self esteem some more. You’re a good person, Leo, even though you don’t always seem to think so. Of course you have your flaws just like I do, but I don’t love some superhuman version of you. Me from a few months ago is probably shaking her head so hard right now, but here’s what I think: you’re smart. And funny when you’re not trying to. And persistent. Hard-working. You make fixing things seem effortless. And you’re ready to put your loved ones’ happiness before yours. In fact, I think sometimes you care so much that it hurts you. But it only makes me care about you even more."

Leo was quiet for a while, probably still trying to swallow Calypso’s words.

“Woah, um… Thanks, Sunshine. I guess two people can really see the same thing very differently.”

“Yes, we can,” Calypso agreed. “I bet your view of me is also very different from how I see myself.”

“You’re probably right there.”

Calypso decided to change the topic when it got quiet. “Do you think that your family has any idea? About what happened between us?”

“I think we did our acting pretty well.” Leo grinned against her hair. “It’s pretty suspicious, though, that they didn’t ask us anything.”

“Well, better that way than trying to answer some awkward questions,” Calypso noted. “Um… I hope you know that I would really like to tell them about us, but… it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“I know. You just want to protect me, right? I would also want to protect you if I was in your situation.”

“Mmmmh.”

A comfortable silence fell between the couple. Calypso was happy to notice that Leo was so relaxed in her company that he didn’t even swing his legs back and forth like he often did. Eventually he spoke:

“Hey… you asked me how I am doing but what about you? I know I haven’t made this day easy for you…”

“I appreciate you asking. To be honest? I’m doing pretty well now. This night has been… unexpected, to say the least. I didn’t think I would be brave enough to get over my worries, but here we finally are. It’s a bit scary…” Calypso noticed Leo’s hand twitching slightly on hers, so she was quick to add: “... but like you said, also relieving. Don’t worry, I will be sticking to my word. There are no take backs now,” Calypso reassured him.

“Good.” Leo nodded.

“Hey... “ Calypso said when she spotted something on the nearby desk. “I, uh, know that we both have been really testing our boundaries today, but there’s something I would still like to try. That is, if that’s OK with you.”

“Alright. What is it?” Leo asked curiously.

“My mum always used to light up some candles by the windowsill on Christmas night when I was a kid. She said she did that in memory of those who weren’t there to celebrate with us anymore. That’s a tradition that’s stuck with me until now. Emmie put some candles over there…” Calypso nodded towards a desk by the window, “... earlier today, but I didn’t know how you would feel about me using them, so I didn’t. But… What do you say? You could take it as a part of your training.”

Leo didn’t seem to love the idea at first but finally he gave in.

“Alright. But just one. And it needs to be far from all the other objects.”

“Yes. Don’t worry, we both will keep a watchful eye on it.”

Calypso felt Leo’s eyes on her the whole time as she rose from the sofa and lit up the candle. He was seemingly relieved when she sat back down next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “You know all about the fire’s dangerous sides…” Calypso started with a calming tone, “... but it can be very useful too when used right. It can ruin, but it can also help to build new things. A lot of your precious machines wouldn’t exist without fire, right? Have you ever stopped to consider that?”

Leo frowned at her, taking her words in. “Are you trying to say that fire has many different sides to it, just like us people? But if we only choose to see the negative, we will never understand the positive sides?”

“Yes, basically. We are both very judgemental towards ourselves, but today was a good example that not everyone sees us the same way.”

“Yeah… You’re not wrong there… I’ll try to remember that.”

“Me too.”

Calypso noticed Leo glanced at the candle briefly before his eyes returned to her. He was still a little stiff but a lot less so than when Calypso had lit up the candle.

“I was thinking…” he said suddenly. “Since we are official now and all that… Should we, you know, do something together… you know, outside our flat… sometime? When this vacation is over?”

“You mean like a date?” Calypso asked, surprised by the chance of the topic. But then again, she figured it might have been his way to try to distract himself. “Hmmm, let me think…” Leo already looked a bit worried for a moment before she finally started smiling at him. “Alright. I suppose we can do that.”

“And will we resume our movie nights? And cooking sessions?” His eyes lit up almost like the candle on the desk.

“Of course, you weirdo. I don’t think I have any reason to avoid you anymore, now that you know…”

“Know what?” Leo grinned. “That you think Leo Valdez is pretty damn hot?”

Calypso knew that Leo was most likely expecting her to lash at him, so she decided to use a different kind of tactic. She gave him a flirtiest smile she could muster, and replied:

“Sure. Let me tell you a little secret: when you are wearing those overalls you always do, my heart feels like it’s doing somersaults in my chest…”

Leo blinked at her a couple of times as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Wait, what? What did you just say?”

Calypso snorted. “Just playing your own game, you know.”

“Oh, alright. I see now.” Leo’s ears went red, which amused Calypso a lot.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” she chirped at him, poking his cheek playfully.

“Har har.”

Calypso pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“I hope you know I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t 100% comfortable around you. I had already decided that I would not… I would not allow myself to go through what I already did several times before, but you just had to make me break my promise to myself.”

“And you know what?” Leo turned his head so they were eye to eye. “I’m not sorry at all that I made you do that.”

“Of course you aren’t,” Calypso rolled her eyes at him. They kept gazing at each other for a moment before Calypso’s urge to kiss her fool of a boyfriend got too strong. It was a light and gentle kiss, one that she hoped told him that she was happy to be where she was and also proud of him for being able to handle the flame of the candle.

“Whoa, what was that for?” Leo asked once Calypso had pulled away.

“Just to shut you up for a moment,” Calypso lied.

“Nah. You wouldn’t want me to do that,” Leo grinned at her knowingly.

“Alright. Maybe I wouldn’t. So keep talking,” Calypso encouraged him.

“Okay,” Leo obliged. “About what?”

“Anything, really. Something silly and light, Leo Valdez style.”

Leo seemed to think about Calypso’s request for a moment.

“Hey, have you heard about the time when Jason had a party at his father’s house without him knowing and Piper…”

Leo continued telling her silly stories about his friends (even though a few involved also Percy, that didn’t ruin Calypso’s mood). From that they moved onto other things, such as what an ideal date would be for each of them (their opinions differed less than expected, to Calypso’s surprise), the favorite place they had ever visited (Calypso remembered Malta and the nearby islands quite fondly), and how fast Georgina would build her 1000-piece puzzle. The time flew by as they talked and Calypso was surprised to notice at some point that it was almost 3 AM and the candle had gone out a long time ago without either of them noticing. Leo snuck back into his room as quietly as possible, but not without giving Calypso one last good night kiss in the dark hallway before they separated.

…

The Christmas break was coming to an end and it was Leo and Calypso’s last full day at Waystation. Calypso felt a little bitter sweet about it; on one hand the vacation had been a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally, but on the other hand everything had ended better than she had dared to expect. She knew that she and Leo still had plenty of work to do when it came to their communication skills and of course she was also worried something would go wrong – specifically, regarding her father – but it still felt so freeing to be able to tell what she really thought and to be able to love and be loved.

She would of course miss the people of Waystation. Georgina was adorable and seemed to have basically adopted Calypso as her big sister at this point. She enjoyed teaching things to the girl; baking, gardening, sewing, even a little bit of singing… She was also pretty quick-witted for someone of her age and Calypso was quite certain that she did know that something was going on between her and Leo no matter how hard they were trying to deny it. Leo’s mothers were also great people and they had already told Calypso that she was welcome to Waystation any time she wanted. They also mentioned that they didn’t mind if she kicked Leo’s butt a bit sometimes when he deserved it. She had thanked them and told them that she’d keep their advice in mind.

The final day didn’t go entirely without surprises. Emmie had quickly mentioned that they would be getting more dinner guests that day, but Calypso hadn’t been prepared for the entire Hunters of Artemis crew to show up. They were old acquaintances of Jo and Emmie, the group’s former coaches, and the older women still asked them to drop by whenever they were nearby. To Calypso’s surprise, when she heard about the visit, her instinct to flee was not quite as strong anymore as it had been when she had last seen Thalia and Reyna.

“Are you OK with this?” Leo asked after Emmie had gone back to greet the visitors. “I remember that you weren’t eager to talk to them at the Halloween party and now I understand why… If you wanna, like, go out and check the foster animals or something like that, we can do that.”

“I think… I think it’s time for me to face my past,” Calypso replied. “I can’t do that if I hide every time I see someone who used to know Zoë…”

“That’s a fair point,” Leo agreed. “But still, don’t push yourself too hard.”

Soon the couple was in the hallway where everyone had gathered.

“Oh, there you two are!” Jo exclaimed when she saw them. “I was already starting to wonder if you had gone back to your flat earlier than planned.”

“Oh, nah,” Leo denied, waving his hand nonchalantly. “We just had some things we needed to discuss.”

Jo looked at him suspiciously, probably wondering what exactly they had discussed. “Hmm. Well, it’s good that you seem to be on speaking terms again. Anyway, Calypso, I believe you haven’t met these people before, so say hello to the Hunters of Artemis. Thalia Grace…” She pointed at a young woman with dark, spiky hair, whom Calypso remembered from the Halloween party. “Reyna Ramírez-Arellano…” Another dark haired girl, with a long braid, however, nodded at Calypso. “And here’s…” Jo continued her introductions but the names simply went through her brain and didn’t stay there. Maybe it was the Leo influence, she wondered; she didn’t remember having issues with focusing earlier.

“Hi, all.” She tried to sound confident but she didn’t think she succeeded very well. Surely Reyna and Thalia remembered how she had spent a whole night trying to avoid talking to them, getting drunk and throwing up in Piper’s bathroom in the end. “Hello,” Reyna spoke first. “I believe I’ve seen you once before. At Jason’s place last month, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Calypso had to admit reluctantly. Well, at least she wasn’t drunk in a mythology themed costume right now, she thought, so she had a chance to give them a bit better picture of herself than earlier.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you properly now,” Reyna said and shook her hand.

“Likewise,” Calypso told her, although she still felt like she was not living up to the meaning of her name, ‘she who conceals’.

“And you probably saw Thalia at that party too. Jason’s sister. My… friend.” Reyna glanced at the other girl quickly when she said the word ‘friend’.

Calypso noticed the slight hesitation and remembered Leo and some others as well mention that the two girls most likely had something going on even though they had to hide it because of their status on their archery team. She knew better than to bring that up, though.

“Hello, Thalia. Yes, I remember seeing you there,” she replied, mainly to be polite.

Before anyone had time to say anything else, Jo told the group that the guests were free to explore the house or do anything they wanted while she and Emmie were finishing the dinner and setting the tables. Many of the Hunters headed back out to the yard to see the animals or do a little bit of exercising before the meal, but Reyna and Thalia had apparently spent their afternoon practicing so they needed a little down time. Leo asked Calypso if she would have preferred to go to help Emmie and Jo but she remained stubborn. If she couldn’t do this now, she didn’t know she would be able to do it, so she guided Leo to the living room where Reyna and Thalia had gone.

When Thalia heard they had entered the room, she turned towards them.

“We didn’t really get a chance to talk the last time I saw you,” she noted bluntly.

“Sorry about that; I was having a bit of a rough day back then, to be honest,” Calypso replied vaguely.

“To me it looked like you were having the most fun out of all of us,” Thalia said, but Reyna elbowed her in the ribs. “Hey!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Calypso sighed. “I wasn’t acting like myself that evening.”

“We all have those days…” Reyna reassured her.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Calypso shrugged.

“Someone mentioned that your last name is Astal,” Thalia noted when it got quiet again. “Is that true?”

“Yes, unfortunately it is,” Calypso replied, getting a bit anxious because she knew where this conversation was heading to. “Why do you ask?”

Her hand quickly reached for Leo’s, who was still standing next to her, and even though she couldn’t hold it in front of the others, feeling his fingers right next to hers felt reassuring.

“Because it’s probably not a very common last name, right?” Thalia inquired, “and we used to have someone on our team whose last name was Astal before she took her mother’s last name. Zoë Nightshade, does that ring any bells?”

“Yes. She was my older sister,” Calypso confirmed, feeling herself stiffen a bit.

“Oh… I’m so sorry… I mean, I heard what happened to her… Just horrible.” Thalia shook her head.

Calypso was struggling to find the right words, but Leo quickly tapped on her back with his fingers when the others didn't notice and that helped her to root herself. “I don’t think there are any words to describe it,” she mumbled. “Um, did you know my sister well?”

“Not as well as some others on our team, to be honest. I had only been on the team for a few months before we heard the news about the accident…” Thalia said. “But she seemed like such a great person. One of our most talented archers for sure, and really determined. She was always the first on the field and the last to leave.”

“That… that does sound like her,” Calypso smiled a bit sadly. “Did she… did she ever talk about her home life to you?”

“Not much.” Thalia shrugged. “A bit.”

“Oh… What did she say?” Calypso wanted to know.

“I did get the impression that she really hated her father. And her mother lived somewhere far, apparently? But she did mention her sisters every once in a while. Did she have any other younger siblings besides you?” Thalia asked.

“No, she didn’t. She was the second youngest and I am the youngest of the group. Big family… But is there a reason why you ask that?”

“You see, she did sometimes talk about her baby sister. I remember that she always wished she could do more for her because she thought her sister deserved better than what she… Wait, what’s wrong?” she stopped when she noticed Calypso’s reaction.

Even though Calypso had tried her best to stay calm, once she heard what Zoë had said about her, she couldn’t stop the tears anymore. Leo quickly stepped in front of her while she tried to recover and glared at Thalia angrily.

“Calypso was there when the accident happened,” he blurted. “Do you think she really wants to talk about her the whole time?”

“I thought she would be happy to hear that her sister respected her a lot,” Thalia attempted to defend herself.

“But…” Leo wanted to continue the debate but Calypso stopped him.

“No, Leo, it’s OK.” She put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s not OK!” Leo exclaimed.

She took a deep breath and withdrew herself from Leo’s arms. “It is. I mean… It's not easy for me to talk about her, but it’s like I said earlier. I need to learn to live with this. Does it hurt? Yeah. But I’m also thankful for hearing her say that about me. She wished I could experience a better life than she did prior to her joining the Hunters. I hope that if she’s watching me right now… from wherever she is… she’s happy for me. Well… I’m not out of the woods yet, as you can surely see right now," she chuckled ironically, referring to her teary face, "but… you know. I’m getting there. I’m feeling better than I have in a long while. And that’s what counts.”

“I don’t know what your source of happiness is, but whatever it is, I’m sure she would be happy for you.” Thalia nodded approvingly.

“Some things are better kept secrets,” Calypso replied mysteriously, turning to Reyna. “Did you know my sister?”

“No, unfortunately not,” Reyna replied. “I joined this group only a couple of years ago. Thalia’s been on it way longer. But I’ve heard a lot of stories about her from some of our older teammates, and it sounded like she was someone everyone looked up to. Even our coach complimented her sometimes and she never compliments anyone unless for a very good reason.”

“It sounds like she was really enjoying her life and had great people around her before… you know. It’s… great. I saw how hard she fought to get out of our father’s grip and do what she really wanted. She was happy with you guys.” The evil side of Calypso’s brain wanted to add that ‘she was happy until I messed it up for her’. She considered the fact that she managed to call herself out before she said that sentence aloud as some kind of progress.

“Yeah. I really think she was,” Thalia reassured her.

Calypso gave her a small, sad smile. “Good.”

After that the group started talking about other things. Thalia told Calypso some stories about Jason. Reyna explained why she had decided to join the Hunters even though she had already been doing well on another team before that. Leo also contributed to the stories sometimes and at some point, Calypso noticed that she was feeling quite at ease with this group. Even though Zoë was still briefly mentioned on a few occasions, it didn’t bother her as much anymore. Some kind of lock had opened inside her and she didn’t plan to close it anymore.

[gremlin-writes-angst]

The Three Kingdoms

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

TW: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, implied transphobia(very brief), religious trauma

If I missed a trigger or if you spot a spelling mistake, please let me know. Feedback is encouraged.

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for even more!

There was so much going on and yet it wasn't overwhelming, it was almost perfect. There were sounds of people happily chatting, wedding bells, and songs slightly louder played in the distance. The colorful glass from the church window shined on the people in the church. The church was packed for a royal wedding and at the altar, there was prince Kaminari but instead of a beautiful bride opposite him, there was a handsome knight from the enemy kingdom. The priest started the ceremony, the two grooms said their vows and kissed. It was anything less than magical. The priest began to announce the kingdoms’ new rulers.

"Lady's and Gent’s I introduce to you, your new Kings. King Denki Kaminari and King Eijiro Kiris--"

Before the priest finished his announcement the large church doors were opened and the...priest who was previously standing next to the kings, had teleported to the church’s entrance.

" I will not follow the rule of sinners like you" 

Suddenly all the happy wedding goers disappeared and reappeared behind the angry priest, joining him in ridiculing of the two kings

"We will not follow the devil"

"Our prince has been tainted by the devil"

The priest raises his hand and the crowd quiets down, Denki questions the priest

"What are you doing? You were just announcing us as the new kings and know you're over there protesting our marriage? YOU’RE THE MARRIAGE OFFICIANT?"

The priest ignored his King’s questions.

" Denki listen to me, the thing you married is the devil, he used his powers to make you believe you love him, but I know that you could never fall for another man. I can help you, just come to my side and I can exorcise that demon." 

The priest offers his hand out, then the rest of the people behind him do the same.

" Denki, they're lying, you know that they are trying to get in your head. I do love and you love me." 

Kirishima stood closer to Denki, also offering his hand to Denki. Denki looked between the two choices, he looks at the priest’s group, he sees his friends and family inside the crowd, telling him that the love of his life is the devil and he knows that they'll leave him if he stays with Kirishima. Could they be right? Did he love Kirishima, or was it just a trick? He meant every word of what he said in his vows, he spent days on his vows, he wanted to make sure Kirishima knew how much he loved him.  So they were wrong, he did love Kirishima, their love for each other was no trick. But if he chooses Kirishima he’ll lose all his friends, family, and his whole kingdom. Denki stressed over who to choose, the mob became louder and more aggressive while he thought but before he could make a choice, Denki woke up.

A dream? A nightmare? Why was I getting married, to a man, to a knight from the enemy kingdom? Why was I married to Eijiro Kirishima? It was a stupid dream, I would never marry a man, the kingdom was right, Eijiro Kirishima was the devil, the dream must be a warning to avoid the knight in the cellar. It can't be that hard, he’s just in the cellar that's in the basement dungeon, the key to said dungeon door was on the wall and the guard was always asleep. Ok, this was going to be hard, it's just too easy not to visit the Red Riot.

The day goes by quickly, but then night falls and I remember how easy it is to get to the cellar, how my dream is just a dream. How handsome the knight is. How sweet his voice is. How he waits up for me. How he stopped me from hitting my head. Before I knew it I was in front of the dungeon door with the keys in hand, but the thought of losing everything I know stopped me from going down. I silently returned the keys and went back to my room and slept, the dream repeated that night, and yet the pressure to choose felt even more stressful.

It was dusk again, I don’t remember the hours before now, but I was back at the door with the keys. I stand there for a while until eventually, I think

“It was just a dream.” 

So I unlock the door and descend down the stairs. Every step I take makes me more anxious, I repeat to myself that it was just a dream, my friends won’t leave me, I won’t be banished. I mean it doesn’t even make sense, I would never marry a guy, especially that brute in our dungeon, I barely even know him, and it's sinful.

“Then why are you going to see him?”

It’s a question in the back of my mind, and I don’t have an answer. It’s definitely not because he has a smooth husky voice or his muscular body, and it has nothing to do with his caring words that match his action. I am broken from my thoughts when said husky voice speaks

“If you keep walking you’ll end up hitting the wall”

I must have been so caught in thought because he was right, I walked right past him and was about to walk into the wall. I stay facing this wall, I wasn’t ready to face him, I mean I married him twice in my dreams, it is disgusting.

“Thanks, I guess”

“ No problem but are you going to turn around, I mean it’s kind of weird talking to the back of your head, especially when the front is so beautiful.”

I forget about the dream and why I was reluctant to turn around and l whip my body around and march towards his cell while accusing him of my dream.

“It’s your fault, you’re the reason, I’m not the evil one, it’s because you’re the devil. You sit there and you spew compliments at me, another man, from a rivaling kingdom, such words should be said to a woman!”

“ Sorry if I offended you, I was just telling the truth and if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop but I thought it was mutual” “What in the hell gave you that idea”

“uh the lustful gaze you keep giving me”

“Lus-lustful gaze, I do no such thing, and especially not to you”

“So then what was that look on your face when you heard my voice, why did you constantly look at my arms like they were turkey legs”

“ it -it - it was ugggg”

“Because that’s the same look the women give me…which is unfortunate for them because I’ve only ever looked at men with such a gaze.”

“ But that’s sinful, you are tainted, I should leave and never return.”

I walk to the stairwell with the full intent of doing what I just said.

“That won’t stop the feelings you are having”

I turn back around, full of frustration, I reach through the bars and pull the hunk closer to me.

“Then take your stupid spell off, I can-cant be . . . I can’t be like you, I just can’t, you understand right. Even as the devil you have to understand what this will do to me, I don’t deserve that, I don’t want god to hate me or my family or friends. I deserve to love who I want without feeling like the worst human in existence!”

I pause and quickly whip the tears off my face. I look up at the knight, his face is full of sorrow, he looks sad . . . for me. I let go and fall to my knees, replay what I said, I try to find justification for it, I think of the dream. I was happy, I was loved and I was loving someone else. What if I am like the knight? The knight leans down

“ I can’t say I understand the mental fight that’s happening in your brain because I came from a palace where this wasn’t something I need to worry about but listen.”

The knight’s hand slowly reaches for my chin, his hands are calloused like most knights, yet his hands are still comfortable and somehow soft. I let him lift my chin up so I’m looking into his eyes, there like rubies, or sapphires

“Or like the pits of hell”

I ignore the thought and continue to stare into the knight’s eyes as he tries to comfort me.

“ The person you love isn’t a choice, it’s fate, and if God hates you for what you can’t control, then he isn’t manly nor does he deserve such a title. Hate is a choice, love isn’t.”

I get lost in his eyes for a little bit, but when I realize it I turn away, a little more aggressively than I wanted to. I move away and take a seat on the bench that is meant for the guards, I don’t want to leave but I can’t find it in me to talk, even though I hate the silence. I sit there staring at the ground feeling awkward, the knight must have felt the same way about silence because he started talking.

“ um back at my kingdom, the Toyomitsu kingdom, there real accepting of such things, like I’m our queen was born a prince”

I’ve heard of a man loving a man or woman loving a woman but this wasn’t something I had heard of. With my eyes still planted to the ground, I asked.

“ What does that mean?”

I could hear shifting from the cell but I refused to lookup 

“Oh uh sorry, I forget that our kingdom is more progressive and more diverse. So basically our queen was born like us, she had our body parts, but she wasn’t.”

“I still don’t understand”

“Ugg this is hard, so she felt like her brain and body weren’t the same, like her brain said, ‘Your a girl’ but her body parts were male parts.”

“So she is a girl but had a body similar to ours”

“ Yeah exactly, but she’s better at explaining it because, well she lives through it.”

“ So she’s your queen, what about children, whos going to take over the throne”

“ Oh her and the king have a kid, he’s just adopted but he’s still their son and still the rightful prince, he's gonna be a great king. Oh, anyways I was gonna say that our kingdom is really accepting and if you need they’ll probably let you in if you ever wanted to leave here.”

In shock, I lift my head for the first time since I sat on this bench

“Even though I'm the prince of the rival kingdom?”

“ We don’t care that much about this rivalry. So yeah you would be fine”

“ If they don’t care why are you here?”

“ Well because our kingdom is so diverse and recently outside kingdoms have discovered that the queen is trans, which is the term for that situation, by the way, I think I forgot to mention that. Anyway, the King is worried about future attack’s so he sent out multiple knights to different kingdoms.”

“Oh so we’re not your only threat”

“Your not even a threat, your kingdom is crumbling”

“Oh wow thanks, I’ll remember that when I become king.”

“ You mean IF you become king”

“What is that suppose to mean ‘Red Riot’”

For the rest of the night, I joked and listened to Kirishima’s stories. I wish to see his home kingdom one day it sounds pretty cool. Before I knew it I was asleep and having another dream. It was different, there were no choices or stress. It was just Kirishima and me out on a hill having a picnic, eating food together, he fed me strawberries and the dream ended with a kiss, maybe falling for the knight wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe my wedding dream was a warning about my kingdom and not Kirishima. I woke up and realized I was still in the dungeon, and that it was almost time for the guards check up on Kirishima, so I started to sneak back up to my room, I successfully avoided the guards on my way there, I acted as if nothing happened, I’m a pretty good actor if I do say so myself.

In the king’s throne room, a royal knight is kneeling before his king, he comes with important information.

“Lord Kaminari, I found the dungeon door unlocked and the keys on the guard bench this morning”

“ Well don’t leave them there”

“ I didn’t sir, I believe someone is sneaking into the dungeon at night.”

“ How would that be possible, we have Shinsou guarding the keys at night?”

“ I believe that he may have fallen asleep on duty.”

“ Well we can’t afford to get new guards or to switch any of the guard’s jobs, just move the keys to a new location along with Shinsou, Shinsou will continue to guard them. I want you to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

“Yes Sir”

“You are now dismissed Monoma.”

All characters belong to Horikoshi and his series Boku No Hero Academia

[galactic-magick]

Unexplainable Love: Remus x Reader

Request: Do u do any Remus/ The Duke x reader? If so can it be something like everyone shocked that he currently has a s/o and there interactions are cute, a s/o totally opposite of him? If not feel free to ignore. Btw your writing is so good -anon

Summary: Remus introduces his significant other to Thomas and the sides. I did a similar thing with the reader that I did in one of my Virgil fics, where the reader isn’t a side but still exists in Thomas’s mind.

Words: 800+

Warnings: some sweary words, mostly chaos/humor/fluff with a side of angst

Author’s Notes: I honestly didn’t think I’d be writing for the garbage man when I started writing Sanders Sides, but here we are. Not gonna lie, I had a lot of fun with this, hope you like it!

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Patton, Logan, Roman, and Virgil all sit down with Thomas on the couch, attempting to console him. He’s feeling a little down from a first date that didn’t go well, and everyone tries their best to reassure him that it’s okay.

“Was he a very handsome fellow? Yes, but there are plenty of other handsome fellows in the world, right?” Roman says.

“Exactly, Thomas, look on the bright side!” Patton agrees.

“Yeah but have you thought about how it could’ve gone better? Maybe it was something you said, maybe there’s something you could’ve done,”

“Now, Virgil, you know Thomas is distressed enough as it is,”

“Think about this practically, Thomas. Around 67% of dates do not lead to second ones. There is absolutely nothing abnormal about your situation, and you still have a long life ahead of you,” Logan points out.

“I guess,” Thomas sighs.

“You know, maybe if you took my idea about getting naked in front of the camera, you wouldn’t be sulking over not having a boyfriend,” Remus appears, grinning ferociously.

“Ugh, not you again,”

“Why so glum, brother?”

“Screw you,”

“Remus, for the last time, I am not doing that!” Thomas shouts.

“You really shouldn’t be so quick to shut down my ideas, Thomas. After all, my romantic tricks almost always work,”

“I’m sorry, you’ve had a successful relationship before?” Virgil’s eyes widen.

“Why of course! Allow me to introduce you,” Remus laughs and just like that, you appear next to him. “This is Y/N,”

“Nice try, Remus. We all know they’re not real,” Roman sneers.

“What do you mean?” you question as Remus wraps an arm around you.

“Well, actually, their existence is entirely possible, Roman,” Logan corrects. “There are several beings within Thomas’s mind besides us. Some may be imaginary friends from Thomas’s childhood, some may be old characters he’s imagined, and some may simply be faces Thomas has seen in a crowd. Thomas may not recognize or remember any of these people, but they can still exist within the mind palace,”

“Well, shit,” Roman pouts.

“How dare you question my poopy-pie!” Remus holds you closer and gives you a thousand kisses across your face.

“Please…don’t call them that,” Virgil cringes. Patton starts screaming and covering his eyes.

“Anywho, now that you’ve met my sweet angel, don’t you think I have something to contribute to the conversation?” he lets you scoot onto his lap and shares a bite of the deodorant he was snacking on.

“You both eat that?!” Thomas grouses.

“What? It’s really not bad,” you shrug.

Patton finally stops screaming and runs over to you, taking your hands, “Y/N, I need you to be honest with me, is he holding you against your will? Are you in danger?”

“No of course not! He’d never hurt me,” you assure him, clinging closer to Remus.

“I’m sorry Thomas, I officially have no idea what is going on,” Patton slumps back down on the couch.

“It’s…it’s okay Patton,” Thomas still looks at you both wide-eyed, unsure whether to be shocked, disgusted, or both. Roman refuses to say anything more, fuming over the fact that his dark twin brother managed to find someone before he did. “I mean, I guess it’s not an awful idea to hear him out,”

“You can’t be serious!” Virgil retaliates. “You can’t keep letting these guys stick around, Thomas-”

“So happy you came around!” Remus giggles maniacally. “It was love at first sight, Y/N was the only one who ever accepted me for who I am, weren’t you poopy-pie?”

“Actually, love at first sight is a complete myth-“

“Shut up, dumpster brain,” he teases back at Logan. “They always listened to the poor, abandoned, wretch that is me-“

“Ugh, don’t be so dramatic,” Virgil snarls through his teeth.

“That’s really sweet, actually,”

“What?!” everyone looks at Patton.

“Look, I’m trying really hard to disapprove, but they’re kind of cute,”

“Wow Patton, that’s really disappointing,”

“Hey! I may not be a fan of…him, but as long as they’re happy I say we leave them be!”

Thomas and the sides bicker for quite a while before you and Remus duck out to his room. You appear on his own couch still snuggled up with him on his lap.

“Hope they didn’t hurt your feelings at all, sweetums,”

“Not at all! I really liked meeting them, how come you’ve never introduced me to them before?” you ask.

“They don’t exactly like me,”

“So what? Maybe they just need more time to see you as I see you,”

“I still don’t understand why you think so highly of me,” Remus nuzzles his face into your neck. “Thomas doesn’t like me, not even my own brother likes me,”

“Well that seems like a them problem, doesn’t it?” you smirk. “I love you, alright?”

He conjures up a bouquet of dead roses and tucks a couple behind your ears and in your hair, “I love you too, poopy-pie,”

[schism-au-blog]

Chapter 15: Quenching the Blade

Gold and Peridot finally stopped inspecting the breaking point. “Well, the tech is rudimentary at best, but it’s definitely workable,” Peridot concluded. “The concept is a stroke of genius, though. And you did this all by yourself, now that you have Gold and myself, this should be a breeze!”

“I would be glad to contribute, as well,” said Silver. “I may not know much about science., but I am happy to contribute to the cause.”

“First, now that we have the rest of the planning team back,” said Snowflake. “We were talking about whether we should keep Bismuth a secret for now and have Silver be a spy or if we should be proud and have Bismuth and Silver be fully operational.”

“What do all of you think?” said Peridot. “You seem like you must have been talking for a while.”

“Not really,” said Silver.

“We were analyzing the Breaking Point for a bit,” said Gold.

“But Silver had to tell us the full story of how she got Bismuth from the Crystal Gems.” said Snowflake. “That took a while.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Gold said. “Still, what were your opinions on the matter?”

“The three of us unanimously decided that having Bismuth be our leader publicly as well as privately would be the best options,” said Snowflake. “But since it was an important discussion we thought we should include you.”

“Hmm I must admit that I think opposite you,” said Peridot. “However, it’s only a slight feeling. I think that Silver and Bismuth’s opinions alone outweigh mine. They are the ones who’d be forced to conceal themselves. I’m just concerned about our lack of information on the Crystal Gems’ activity.”

Silver nodded. “I wish I could ease your concern. However, I must instead worsen it. I do not think I could help much. I know very little about the Crystal Gems’ plans as of now, and it wouldn’t change upon my going back.”

Gold nodded. “I have similar opinions to Peridot. I think that we could gain valuable information from having someone on the inside. But I also think that sacrificing Bismuth as a leader isn’t worth it. We can recruit someone else for that purpose.”

Bismuth smiled. “In all this time, you’ve never asked me if I want to lead.”

“Oh!” said Snowflake, “do you? If not, I can always continue to-”

Bismuth laughed, cutting her off. “Don’t worry, I will. It was just funny. I can see the dedication everyone’s put in, and I’m about ready to show Rose that she’s not the only one who can lead a rebellion. She needs to learn a thing or two about what it takes to win herself a war.”

“How do you feel about her?” Silver asked. “After everything, I mean. Your confrontation sounded intense.”

“It was,” said Bismuth. “I might’ve been a little too intense at the time, but still. She wasn’t listening. Attacking Homeworld head on is the only way to win the war. We can’t continue like this. Homeworld will keep pumping out more and more quartzes, and unless we get rid of ‘em, they’re just going to shatter everyone we care about! If going against Rose is the only way to stand against Homeworld, then that’s what we need to do.”

“Homeworld doesn’t tend to view us as important enough to go on the offence, but I bet the crystal gems will,” said Silver. “It’s counter-intuitive, but I think it may be best to try to go after the Crystal Gems first, unifying us once again, then hitting Homeworld with our new numbers.”

“Wouldn’t attacking the Crystal Gems only divide us even further?” asked Gold.

“We’ve already committed to dividing the rebellion,” said Peridot. “I agree with Silver. Let’s get the competition out of the way.”

“We’re both working for the same goal-” Gold tried.

“No we’re not,” interrupted Bismuth. “They want Homeworld to just give up and leave us be, we want the freedom of all gems. And we’re willing to do whatever it takes to win. They’ll stop halfway.”

“I suppose,” said Gold. “But still, what will attacking them accomplish?”

“I suspect many Crystal Gems who agree with us are staying back out of blind support of Rose,” said Silver, “She’s very charismatic. If we can show them she’s not infallible-”

“-Having Bismuth on our side and free will help immensely. No offence, Snowflake, but you're not exactly the symbol of freedom Rose is.”

“None taken,” said Snowflake. “I’m more than happy to have a replacement.. I may not even have a spot at these meetings once Bis gets herself properly oriented.”

“You’re the best strategist we have!” said Peridot.

“That says more about the quality of our current army than it does me,” said Snowflake. “Besides, Silver here seems to have quite a head on those shoulders.”

“I think we need to try to convince Rose again. I need to. I just- I want to talk to her again,” said Bismuth. “Make sure our damages really are irreparable. If we can patch things up and be a part of the Crystal Gems while still taking a real stand against the elites, that’s the best option. But she won’t let that happen if our last interaction is anything to go by.”

“Yeah, this battle will be hard,” said Snowflake. “These are gems we’ve fought alongside for years. But we have to show them what it means to stand up for what we believe in.”

“I’ll be here, figuring this out,” Peridot said, gesturing to the breaking point. “I don’t think I’ll be much of an asset in battle. We’re not going to be shattering crystal gems, right?”

Bismuth nodded. “Of course. They’re not a part of the system anymore. Besides being our friends, there’s simply no good reason to shatter them, strategically.” 

“If Peridot’s staying here, so should Ashalmalmite and Tiger’s Eye as guards,” said Silver. “It hurts to leave so many of our capable gems behind for our first big battle, but it’s not a good habit to leave our base unattended.”

“And what’s the worst they’ll do, shatter us?” Snowflake joked.

 Gold chuckled. “So the plan is, try to reason with Rose, if she doesn’t listen, fight, and try to lower her legitimacy?”

Bismuth nodded. “That’s the plan so far.”

“How are we going to get Rose to come out for us?” asked Gold.

“Rose is at the front lines at every battle. If we cause enough of a ruckus, she’ll come running.”  Bismuth said. “From there I just need to talk to her.”

“Are eight gems really enough to cause that much of a ruckus?” asked Silver. “Unless they’ve exponentially increased security at the Reef, I think we could get quite a few of our sisters out of there.”

“The problem is getting them ready to fight,” said Gold. “We certainly weren’t when Rainbow carried us out.”

“Right, so recruit, train, fight, talk, fight,?” Snowflake asked.

Peridot nodded. “I suppose so. How long have we been in here now? “

“I don’t know,” Gold admitted. “We spent a while analyzing that weapon, then even longer talking-”

Bismuth opened the door to the forge. “Looks like it’s sunrise already. We can plan our first recruitment mission later. For now, let’s just take a break.”

Snowflake, Silver, Gold, and Peridot all nodded. As they wearily trudged out of the forge, Apatite, Ruby, Emerald, Tiger’s Eye, and a plethora of familiar gems, greeted them. Apatite grinned. “You were taking too long, so we got bored, so we invited some old friends to join the fun.”

“Turns out a good leader makes all the difference,” said Tiger.

“Hey!” Snowflake exclaimed jokingly.

“Are you- all Metallic Gems?” Bismuth asked.

Crazy Lace nodded. “While it was just Snowflake leading in your memory, I wasn’t sure. But now? Hell yeah, I’m a Metallic Gem to my core.”

Bismuth grinned and ran towards her. The familiar gems crowded together for a hug with their long-missed friend, while the new ones stood back, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“By the way, Silver, Rose figured out what you did somehow and apparently you’re on as bad of a side as she’s got; I guess someone can tell gems apart further than just the type? Anyway- if having you spy on them and keeping Bismuth under the table was an option at some point, it isn’t now,” said Emerald. “Anyway, that’s how we managed to convince everyone to come with. They figure if you were able to pull that off, we actually stand a chance."

Silver stuck her hand out to introduce herself to one of the newly-formed quartzes. It was anyone’s guess why the kindergarten was so under-guarded. She hoped the Crystal Gems were distracting them with a battle, and not that it was some trap. She supposed it was too late to worry about that now. “Hello, I’m Silver.”

“Citrine,” she said. “I’m very glad to meet you.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” said Silver.

“Who thinks they can go into battle?” asked Bismuth. “Uh, stand over to the left. Those of you who aren’t ready yet, go to my right.”

Gold started to go over to the right, but Silver pulled her to the left. “Come on, I know you can fight,” said Silver. “I trained with you like, two months ago. I’m not giving up the opportunity to see how you’ve improved.”

“I’m just- I’m not sure if I’m ready,” Gold protested. “I mean, I wasn’t made for fighting, like them.”

“That’s why it’s so exciting!” said Silver. “Getting to do something beyond intent! Showing the world we can be more!”

Gold couldn’t help but smile at Silver’s sudden burst of enthusiasm. “Okay, but if I get shattered, it’s your fault.”

Silver laughed. “Alright. We’re going to show the world what a pair of Pearls can do!”

Bismuth looked over her field of soldiers, almost all of whom were on the left. “Well, it looks like we have a battle to fight!” she exclaimed. “Listen- we’re not going to be shattering anyone today. The goal of today is to start knocking Rose off that pedestal of hers. We’re going to show the world that we are here, we can survive, and we’re ready to fight for what should be ours. Now, for every quartz, pearl, ruby, every working gem, any gem who’s been made to feel wrong for existing, let us show them that if you want something right, you have to be willing to go all the way!”

“‘Oh I can’t promise inspiring speeches,’” Snowflake mocked. “I may be biased, but that sounds better than anything Rose could give.” A cheer erupted from the crowd. “Which base are we heading for?”

“Silver, do you think you could get us to the base they were keeping me?” Bismuth asked.

“Of course,” said Silver. “It’s not very strategically relevant, but that’s not a big deal if our main goal is to cause a stir.”

Bismuth grinned. “I think we can make that happen.”

Silver, Bismuth, and the entire army warped to the new desert base. Normally, they might try something more discreet, but if they were going for a battle, the Crystal Gems would have to have enough time to get Rose. At last, everyone was gathered at the other end of the warp. “Remember everyone, We stand together, and nobody fights until Rose and I talk, or someone attacks you. We already come off aggressive enough. We don’t need to add to that.” She took a breath. “Ready everyone?” She nodded her head and walked straight forward into the blistering desert. Her army followed. They were sure the Crystal Gems would be ready for them. They were counting on it.

The Crystal Gems had, of course, seen the warp repeatedly going off, and readyed their troops. They were standing in formation, with Rose at the front, Pearl to her right, Garnet to her left. The waiting was unbearable, but not nearly as bad as the upcoming battle.

taglist: @chillchildvibes

[purplesurveys]

1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?  I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games?  Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family?  No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall?  Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you?  My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!)  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb?  Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm?  My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive?  Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?  No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you?  I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female?  Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you?  My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate?  Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook?  No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in?  I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game?  Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater?  I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best?  Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have?  Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu?  Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months?  Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life?  Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience.  Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?  Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex.  Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it?  It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you?  I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see?  Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping?  I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious?  Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank?  No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate?  Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship?  Nope.

What was the last song you listened to?  It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision?  Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests?  I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone?  I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think?  To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy?  Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained?  Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours?  Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?  I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at?  Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you?  Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House?  Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry?  Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture?  No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on?  Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo?  Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes?  My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it?  “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want.  Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller?  Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people?  It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in?  That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during?  Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during?  Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant?  Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like?  Anything with fruits.

Favorite album?  After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it?  I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space?  Outer space.

Dogs or cats?  Dogs.

Kittens or puppies?  Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching?  Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal?  I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school?  History.

What was your worst subject in school?  Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school?  Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon?  Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls?  Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom?  For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist?  I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?  Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?  I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad?  It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out?  Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?  Nope.

Who are you closest to?  Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience?  No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything?  Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today?  Nah.

Can you handle blood?  Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job?  No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?  I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job?  No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick?  No?

[dangan-happy]

//Shrinko Crabashira??//

tw - deadnaming, s/lf h/rm, cursing and just.. really heavy.

hi. this is to literally anyone im ssorry in advance

my parents keep calling me by my dead name even though I've repeatedly asked for them to call me Victor or Opal and I'm so fucking worn out because they always say I'm too young to know what I wanna go by and I'm so so ttirred,, tthis week has been horrible on its own,, I lost someone rreally close to me and I ddidnnt want her to leave,, I miss her so much,, and I've been forcing myself to act normal & happy because people say I'm less likeable when I break down so I'm trying my best to keep my usual attitude but right now it's too hard. i thought my mom called me earlier so I went out into the living room to ask what she needed and she said she didn't call me, so I'm like ''k I'll go back to sleep" and she said "maybe it's your grandmother yelling at you for not liking her name." (i was named after her [we also believe in spiritual connection]) so. it pushed me over the edge and im tearing hair out again and ccryinng and I jjust. I'm so done. can I get a hug and reassurance? sorry again,, so ssorry

- 🃏

Don’t be sorry, anon! You have no reason to be sorry at all! Wow, just, wow-- where do I even begin? Don’t worry, you can definitely get some reassurance and a hug. I have no problem with reassuring you, especially since you really could use and need it. It’s just... damn, words really can’t begin to express how sorry I am to hear all of this.

I guess I should start off from the very beginning and go down the line from there; I tend to get everything disorganized if I start at a random point instead of the beginning. I can’t stand for anybody, let alone parents, to call people, or in this case, their own child by their dead name. It’s such a stab to the heart, to be honest, and not only is it uncalled for, unfair, and completely wrong, but it can really be emotionally damaging. And it’s excuses like those that really get to me. You know what? Yeah, you are young, but you’re not ‘too young’. When you know, you know, and if that’s who you truly are, then that’s who you are. Period. So if you truly are Victor or Opal, or if you’ve got any other names that you want to be called by, then as people and, more specifically, your parents, they should respect and accept that! You are who you are, and if it helps any, I’ll call you by whatever name you want to be called. You want to be called Victor or Opal? Then consider yourself safe and accepted here, Opal. I’ll cut through your parents’ words and show them that they’re wrong, and just how wrong they truly are! Be the person that you are, and do your best to not let anyone, not even your own parents, stop you from doing so!

You might have heard this from others at this point, but truthfully, words cannot begin to express how sorry I am for your loss. Believe me, been there, done that more than I care for. And in terms of how you feel after losing someone, I get it; it’s an immense feeling of despair that’s extremely hard to shake off, especially considering certain circumstances that might be involved. I honestly can’t begin to imagine how you’re currently feeling. However, I will say something about forcing yourself to act normal, because that needs to be addressed. I understand that everyone copes with the loss of a loved one differently, and I understand that you may not want to ‘burden’ people with your loss and grief. Really, I do. But to those people who say that you’re ‘less likable when you break down’: I’ll cut through their words, too! Who the hell do they think they are to say something like that anyway?! Having to cope with the loss of a loved one isn’t what most movies make it out to be; you can’t just move on so easily and bounce back in the blink of an eye! You have to cope and heal at your own speed; within your own time and in a healthy way, and if those people can’t respect that, then I’ll happily speak to them myself. You literally just lost someone; you shouldn’t have to force yourself to act the complete opposite to how you’re feeling, and if anything, that could be more emotionally damaging to yourself. Repression is more painful than what it seems to come off as. But seriously, don’t force yourself to act normal and happy just for the sake of others. You shouldn’t have to, and you know? You don’t have to, especially for others. You wanna cry and scream at the top of your lungs? Cry and scream then. You wanna talk about how you feel, or talk about something else to occupy your mind for the moment? That’s okay, too; let’s talk. You wanna express sorrow, anger, guilt, any and whatever kind of emotions you may be feeling? Express it to your heart’s content until you feel better and lighter, even if just by a little bit. You have every right to express your grief; to properly cope in a healthy way that’ll emotionally benefit you as time goes on. So please listen to me when I say this: Those people can go... ah, nevermind actually. Fuyuhiko and Mondo are better at this type of verbal thing than I am, but you can probably fill in the blank. Anyway, shifting back to you and your situation here, I’ll reveal the truth of this case to them and shoot through that contradiction, no matter what it takes!

And as for what your mom said when you thought she called you from the living room and was leaving, how I feel is very similar to what I said at the beginning. Still, that’s wrong of her to say, even if you were named after your grandmother! You’re Opal, or whoever you want to be called and known as; your dead name is called a dead name for a reason. Anon, listen, I can understand the amount and severity of despair and sorrow you must be feeling from all that’s happened and been happening. But just know that you must do your best to remain hopeful, because if it reassures you at all, I have complete hope in you. I mean it. I have hope that you’ll be able to get through this; that you’ll be able to cope with the loss of your loved one properly and break down whenever you need to without giving a damn about what those people may say; that you’ll be able to come out of this stronger than ever before. I have hope for and in you, no matter what, and I always will! And I’ll always be here for you, supporting you and providing you with as much hope as possible!

Ah, I’m sorry for going on such a ramble like that. Even so, I mean everything that I said, so keep that in mind, okay? Do you... st-still want a hug? I-If you do, then I’d be willing to push aside my stubbornness for a moment to give you one. With what you’ve been through and are currently going through, I think a hug is something you could really use right about now. Just do your best to have hope, but remember that you don’t have to put on some smiley-face mask for the sake of everyone; it’s okay to break down. Cope in a healthy way, and express how you want and may need to for your sake and your sake only, not for others. And if someone has a problem with that, then let me know. I’m sure Fuyuhiko, Akane, and even Nekomaru would be more than willing to take care of the issue for you. A-Anyway, l-let me give you that hug, anon. Y-You deserve one.

[chocoholicannanymous]

(Take) These Broken Wings (Glee) 8/?

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, and you couldn’t pay me enough to take responsibility for it.

Post BIOTA: For someone who’d claimed to be his friend Blaine’s behavior sure left a lot to wish for. Hurt and angry Kurt begins to question his situation – and what he can do to change it.

POV: Kurt Hummel. Pairings: kurtofsky, blainchel. Slightly shady relationship-consent. Not Blaine friendly (no suprise at all).

So, not only do you get another chapter already (I know, what happened?) but it’s a long one. You’re welcome. Here’s hoping I can keep this up!

Previous: Part 7, Part 6, Part 5, Part 4, Part 3,  Part 2b, Part 2a, Part 1

8/?

“Mr Schue? Before we get started I have an announcement I'd like to share.”

While most of the New Directions grumbled Rachel ignored them and stood up. Kurt on his part was looking sharply at her, because something was off. Not only had Rachel not mentioned having a song, she hadn't left the seats to stand by the piano.

Yeah, something was up.

“Blaine and I have broken up. I listened to what you were saying, and I have been thinking hard about it, and the truth is that being in rival show choirs was just too big of a stressor on our relationship as was the fact that us being a couple made it so that you all couldn't trust me. It was a hard decision, but I couldn't do anything else. We're going to try and be friends still, of course, but that's all.

“Thank you for listening to me, and for showing me understanding in these trying times.”

With that she sat down, looking demure, and Kurt shook his head a little – a move he got away with only by sitting in the back row.

The only surprising thing here – besides Rachel not taking the opportunity to perform – was how long the breakup had taken. There had even been a betting pool, and “blainchel” (which really, it sounded like a venereal disease) had surpassed every single bet.

Even Santana, who Kurt felt should have been the most supportive in regards to bisexuality, had put them down at two weeks at the most.

He hadn't participated himself, for a number of reason, and in the end was probably the least surprised one.

Yes, Blaine and Rachel had been a very bad fit, but they'd also had a lot of reasons to stay together. Rachel hadn't exactly been subtle in her attempts to rub her new boyfriend in Finn's face, and Blaine... Well, Blaine had had something to prove hadn't he? After all Kurt, had basically called his attempt at dating Rachel a sham and Blaine had not liked that.

There was also Blaine's hints to Burt Hummel that his own dad had tried to make him straight.

Blaine definitely had something to gain from a continued relationship with a girl.

Oh, Rachel probably hadn't been the best choice for that, seeing as the two were not all that compatible. They were just too similar, equally eager for the spotlight, equally needy for attention.

Even if Blaine had decided he was attracted to girls- and Kurt still wasn't sure that was the case – Rachel would always be too occupied with her own need to be admired to give Blaine what he needed.

Case in point? It had taken one week for Rachel to announce a breakup after having being told off for Blaine being a risk for the New Directions. One. Week. She'd spent their entire relationship telling everyone who would stand still – and quite possibly a few that wouldn't – that her relationship with Blaine was all but written in the stars, as would their names be in the future. Together, of course, as they were just such a suited couple, both with the same dreams and ambitions and goals.

And yet as soon as Rachel thought said relationship was risking her solos Blaine was gone. In a fit of cruelty Kurt thought that they both had been looking more for a “biggest fan” than a partner.

Regardless, they were over now and Kurt hoped that it meant he wouldn't have to be subjected to Blaine again.

He cleared his mind of them both – such a waste of valuable seconds – and instead switched from pretending to listen to Mr Schue to actually doing so as the man described the latest development in their quest to not fuck up at Nationals. Oh, he didn't it call it that, but Kurt was fairly adept at translating Mr Scue-isms to reality by now.

Things are about to become interesting...

Kurt perked up and watched Rachel like a hawk. It would be very telling how she reacted to what Mr Schue was about to say – or at least, what Kurt believed the man was about to say based.

“So! To that end I've recruited some more members. Now, they won't be here until next week since I wanted to give you guys a heads up first, and I hope you'll welcome them.”

Eight Cheerios, two of them guys. Five Titans. Exactly the kind of people who never would have signed up on their own, and who most of the Glee kids would never want to sign up.

Everyone turned to stare at Rachel and when she stayed quiet – though, Kurt thought, not without a fight – they looked at him instead.

“What? Are you waiting for me to protest or what, faint in fear or something? We need the numbers, and it's not like we've done that great a job at recruiting on our own. I've worked with the Cheerios and while I can't speak for their singing each and everyone of them mean we can kick our choreography up another notch.

“As for the guys from the Titans... Well. I am going to trust that they're smart enough to not just follow directions – which they clearly managed during the halftime show – but also leave any ideas of bullying outside this room. After all, McKinley's supposed to be free from that now.”

“But, but, Karofsky's one of them!”

Which Kurt already knew. Dave had told him both about being approached and about considering it – It'll look good on college applications. Make me “well rounded” or some shit like that – and Kurt hadn't seen a problem with it. The opposite in fact. After all, Glee had helped turn Finn and Puck around (in varying degrees) and Kurt liked to think that it'd help do the same for more jocks.

“So? I'm sorry, Mercedes, but I am not seeing a problem here. Dave Karofsky has apologized to me. He has made promises to not just me, but to this school, and so far he's kept them. He has been part of my escort around school ever since I came back, and not once has he given me reason to fear him.

“If any of you want to have an issue with him, or any one of the others, joining us that's your right. Just don't expect to use me as a weapon in that fight. Because to be frank? Right now Dave Karofsky has done more to balance his scales than at least half the people in this room.”

And that shut them all down, just as Kurt had know it would.

Curiously, Rachel didn't say a word the entire time.

Another week and a half went by before the other shoe dropped.

It did so in the form of a phone call.

It wasn't a number from his contact list, but Kurt had thought it familiar so he answered anyway. He regretted it immediately.

“Kurt, hello.”

“Blaine.” Why? What did I do to deserve this?

“I was hoping we'd be able to meet up tomorrow, say at the coffee shop two blocks from Dalton? Would 2 o'clock suit you?”

Kurt had to struggle to make his voice work. Not only was Blaine calling him, but he wanted to meet? Was he asleep? Was this a nightmare brought on as punishment for having had a second slice of cheesecake after dinner? He pinched himself, and no, that hurt.

No such luck then.

“I'm sorry, but I have other plans tomorrow. Besides, I can't see what we would have to say to each other.” I definitely said everything I was willing to last time I saw you.

“Come on, Kurt. Don't be like that. Just come tomorrow.”

“Did you not hear me? I have other plans. I'd say sorry, but I'm actually not. Goodbye Blaine.”

When the doorbell rang shortly after 10 the next morning Kurt considered not opening. Somehow he wouldn't be surprised to find out that Blaine had called Rachel to complain about Kurt being mean, or unreasonable, and that she'd come to lecture him about kicking someone who was already down. The problem was that if it was Rachel then not opening would lead to either her ringing the bell again and again until Finn woke up and came to open or her being a bitch in school.

Neither was appealing, so he sighed and went to open.

Pro: It wasn't Rachel. Con: It was Blaine.

“Good morning Kurt.”

“What are you doing here? I told you I have plans.”

“Well, I knew you weren't being honest about that. Mercedes is at Rachel's, having some girl-time.”

Kurt waited for something more, anything, but nothing came.

“So what, you think I have no one to spend time except those two? Nice. I'm sure you'll be happy to find out that's not true. Also, there is such a thing that having plans on your own.”

“But if you're just doing something on your own then surely that can wait, and you can spend some time with me instead.”

“I suppose it could,” and Blaine's smile practically radiated superiority, “if I was doing something on my own, and if I wanted to spend time with you.”

The smile vanished.

“Kurt.”

It was just his name, but Kurt could hear so many things in it. “I'm disappointed in you.” “You're being ridiculous.” Too bad for Blaine that Kurt's done listening to those silent rebukes.

“I don't understand why you're pushing this. The last time I saw you at Dalton we hadn't spoken in weeks. Because you didn't want to.”

“You hurt me!”

“And I have apologized for that. Publicly even. After, I might add, trying to do so repeatedly. I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you feel like I was some kind of phobic, hateful person.

“You on the other hand meant for the other Warblers to shut me out, didn't you? So I guess we're even. I hurt you, you hurt me.”

“See? That means we can start over!”

“No, it doesn't. That's not something I want in my life, Blaine, that balance of payback. That's not healthy, and it doesn't end. After all, what happened was I said something stupid, which I said because I was hurt and angry, and that then made you hurt and angry, which made you act in a way that made me – again – hurt and angry.

“It's a vicious circle, and not one I want or need in my life.”

“Are you saying we can't be friends again? That we couldn't be...more?”

And wow, that came out of left field. It did explain a few things though, like why Blaine had gone so far as to go to Kurt's home though.

Huh.

Blaine was asking him out? Not that long ago that would have made Kurt deliriously happy, and he would have said yes before Blaine even finished the sentence. Now however, now was...different.

When Blaine had fallen head over heels for Jeremiah he’d serenaded the older boy and talked about marriage – all based on a few coffee dates, that Jeremiah hadn’t even seemed to think of as dates.

When Blaine had dated Rachel he’d done so based on drunken kisses and duets. He’d showed up at McKinley at least twice a week, to take her out for lunch or coffee, and always took her to the movies and Breadstix during the weekends. He’d sung to her as well, both in the choir room and backed up by the Warblers out in the quad.

And Kurt? Kurt got an offer for coffee in Westerville after weeks of silence, which wasn't even presented as a possible date. Only a question if they couldn't be something more than friends – and that much only after Kurt pushed. And there hadn't been even a hint of an apology for Blaine's behavior.

“Really? That's where you're going now? You and Rachel broke up, what? A week and a half, two weeks ago? And now you want to date me?”

“Why? Why now, when you weren't the least bit interested before?”

Blaine opened his mouth, probably to protest, which, no. Not acceptable.

“Don't. Back at Dalton everyone knew I liked you. Hell, you knew I liked you – I told you. But you weren’t interested in me. And that’s okay, really. Not liking someone is your prerogative. Just as everything else you’ve done. Sure, you could have changed your mind, that happens, but why now? You didn’t see me as a potential boyfriend until I left Dalton and moved on.

“So I really have to ask why? Especially since you haven't apologized for a single thing you said and did before I left. In fact, you came here still pushing that I hurt you.

“To be brutally honest, it feels as if you’re trying to guilt me into dating you. I said some things that were hurtful and rude, but I did apologize. You don’t get to hold that over my head for the rest of my life, okay? That’s just not how things work.”

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to reign in his emotions.

“We both messed up. Sure, it’s not a competition, but that’s just the way it is.”

Wait...

The coffee shop Blaine had suggested was one Kurt had been curious to try, and he had hinted at going there several times. Blaine had never wanted to go there though, but now he'd suggested it. Maybe he'd done so to please Kurt, and a couple of months ago that would have made Kurt ecstatic. Now it just made him angry. Also very suspicious. Me thinks there's something rotten in the state of Lima...

“Wait. If you were angling for a date, why make me drive all the way to Westerville? We both live here, and I know you don't usually stay at Dalton during the weekends. So why not ask me to meet up at the Lima Bean? The cinema here is a lot better than you'd think, so why not suggest a movie? Or you could have really signaled that you intended it to be a date and made reservations for dinner at Breadstix. I know you are capable of that.

“You had so many options, and instead you want to go to a coffee shop you dissed repeatedly while we were still on speaking terms and insisted we go to the Lima Bean instead. Why?”

Quiet.

“Tell me, or leave.”

Blaine pouted a little at being questioned, but broke down quickly.

“It wouldn't be fair to Rachel to go on dates here. I just can't do that to her. You know what people are like, what they say to her. What do you think they'd say if her boyfriend went from dating her to seeing another guy?”

Kurt hated to admit it, but Blaine did have a point. He could imagine exactly what people would say much to well. Understanding that didn't mean accepting being given only crumbles though.

“So you're saying...what? That protecting Rachel from possible fallout is more important than making me feel valued? At what point would your breakup be far enough in the past for a date that doesn't mean leaving town? At what point would you stop treating me like your dirty secret?”

Kurt looked at the boy he'd thought was Prince Charming and felt empty. Even as he was asking Kurt out Blaine was putting Rachel's comfort and reputation over his. And apparently that meant he wasn’t going to openly date another boy in Lima. Or was that “openly date Kurt in Lima”? Whichever it was, it still hurt.

“You matter” his dad voice whispered in his head, yet Kurt couldn’t help but feel that he didn’t. Not to Blaine. Because if he did, then surely Blaine wouldn’t act ashamed of him?

All this, after having been strung along and rejected for over six months before finally saying enough.

The sad part, the horrible part? Blaine seemed certain it’d work. Not that Kurt didn’t see why – he had, after all, been absolutely pathetic when it came to begging for Blaine’s attention.

Kurt wasn’t sure what was most pathetic now though: the fact that a part of him still wanted to say yes, just to have a boyfriend, or that the only thing holding him back was the boy who’d bullied him, and who’d sent him running towards Blaine in the first place.

He could see himself accepting Blaine’s proposition, could see himself going out with the other boy, pitifully thankful for someone actually asking him out, and just ignoring all the reasons why he shouldn’t. Sure, he was sort of doing the same when it came to Dave, but there was a difference: Dave wasn’t angling to be his boyfriend. Also, with Dave he had an easy way out. There wouldn’t be one with Blaine – not for him.

He looked at Blaine and shook his head. This was pointless.

“Don't bother answering. I am not going to go out with you regardless. Thanks but no thanks, I guess.”

Blaine's blush increased and he started spluttering out a protest of some kind (at least that's what Kurt interpreted it as.)

“Look. I'd like you to leave now. I have, as I've said repeatedly, plans. I don't want to be late because of you.”

“Late? Are you actually meeting someone? Who?”

“Nice to know you think so low about my ability to find people to socialize with. Not that it's really any of your business, but after everything that had been happening I decided I wanted to try and meet more LGBT youth. I had no idea there were so many people I could connect with around here.”

It had been heady, finding all of these teenagers that could relate to what he had gone through growing up, and who were willing to accept him as he was. Not all of them were out, but that meant less to him these days. Besides, when the lion's part of communication and socializing happened online “out” became a completely different thing.

Of course, he wasn't actually meeting any of them now, but Blaine didn't need – or deserve – to know that he was meeting Dave.

“Really? That's great! I could go with you, it'd be great.”

Sigh. There apparently was no way getting through to Blaine that didn't include a verbal version of a 2 by 4.

“No. I have plans. You are not invited. And quite frankly, I can't imagine anyone of my new acquaintances appreciating someone else tagging along without warning. You see, I learned something really important from you. It was something I already knew, but didn't really get. So, I guess thank you for driving the lesson home.”

“And what lesson was that?” Blaine looked a little cautious, which indicated that yes, he actually had a functioning brain.

“You don't out people. Goodbye Blaine.”

And he closed the door, without slamming it – he was tempted, yes, but the way his luck was running he'd crack it or something.

Kurt waited 15 minutes before leaving, just in case Blaine was standing outside waiting to ambush him. Still, as he pulled out of the driveway he kept an eye out for Blaine's car. And there it was.

It was just so Blaine. He had been told, explicitly, that he wasn't welcome to join Kurt and whoever he was meeting – a person Kurt had hinted pretty heavily wasn't out. And Blaine had just decided none of that mattered because he wanted differently. Selfish bastard. He was going to deserve everything Kurt was planning on raining down on him.

Going to the garage was a detour, and not one Kurt really wanted to spend time on, but it was his best bet when it came to getting away.

It being a Saturday meant that Hummel Tires & Lube was running on a minimal staff, for planned jobs and emergencies only. That meant there was plenty of space for Kurt to pull into the fenced yard and park behind the garage. Next he walked through the building, waving at his dad, and peeked through the window. Yup, there he is. Blaine had parked so that he'd be able to see if Kurt left – or so he thought.

“What are you doing here, buddy? I thought you were meeting up with some of your internet friends?”

“Yeah, I am. Only it seems I picked up a stalker.”

Burt looked at him, sharp and worried.

“Mhm. Blaine – from Dalton, remember? – showed up at the house, and for some reason he thought I should agree to go out with him.”

“I thought you said he wasn't interested like that.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought too. After all, not only did I not even try to be subtle, but in the end I straight out told him. His response to that was – more or less – to start dating Rachel. I haven't really spoken to him since he called me a bully for not being supportive enough of that.

“He froze me out completely after that, even though I tried to apologize so many times, and that didn't change after I left.

“Only now he and Rachel broke up, and apparently Blaine thinks I'm still waiting around for him to notice me. I don't know why, because I'm not that much of a doormat, but he sure seems to think so.”

Burt gave him another sharp look.

“You sure about that? Because to me it looks like you were willing to put up with a lot – not just from him either – to get a boyfriend.”

Kurt blushed. He was well aware of his mistakes. Falling at Blaine's feet again was not going to be one of them though.

“Damned sure, dad. If Blaine hadn't insisted on dating Rachel first, then I probably would have agreed. But now? After being passed over not once, but twice? No thank you. Yes, I want a boyfriend. But I deserve someone who will look at me first, not as a backup once all other options have been explored.”

Because that was how Blaine made him feel. Like he was the living version of “two last people on earth”, and damnit if he didn't matter more than that.

“Okay. That's fair. I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself. Now, what about stalking?”

“Well, when I told him that not only did I not want to go out with him but I also had plans – which I had told him when he called yesterday – he tried to invite himself along. Then he followed me here. After I told him he wasn't invited to come along, and that I had no intention of outing the person I was meeting.”

Kurt watched his dad's face turn red, and felt a bit guilty. His dad's heart attack wasn't too far back, after all. But. Needs must.

“Want me to talk to him?”

“Would you? I would be so grateful. And if you'd let me go out through the back I'd be even more so.”

Because that was why he had gone there, in the hopes of using the locked back gate few people thought about. Blaine would most likely never guess to its existence, and even if he did Kurt would be able to leave while Burt Hummel gave “the prep school stalker” a piece of his mind.

As Kurt drove off he kept thinking about Blaine's actions over the past 24 hours. It made no sense. Blaine really had treated him like the last resort. The faithful dog that would come crawling back for petting even after being kicked. And that really wasn't Kurt. Except...

He'd thought Blaine and Rachel a bad match because they both wanted to be the center of attention, something neither of them would get from the other. Kurt however had always been so happy to admire Blaine that he'd constituted a fanclub all on his own. And that, right there, held what Kurt saw as the possible explanation as to why Blaine was now looking to date him instead of one of Dalton's mythological gay or bi boys.

Kurt would have – before the shunning – been happy to make Blaine the most important thing in his life. And as he'd been shown over and over again, most people would never have looked at Kurt when Blaine was there.

Thirty minutes later, stretched out on a picknick blanket with a deliciously heavy body pressed against him Kurt smiled into kisses because Dave? Dave would never look at Blaine if Kurt was around.

Monday mornings were always a downer – coming from freedom and peace to McKinley was never fun, not even with the lessened bullying. This Monday however was in the running for most annoying of the year. In one word: Rachel.

She was laying in wait for him at his locker and started her attack as soon as he was within hearing.

“Kurt? Blaine told me he asked you out, and you turned him down? Why would you do something like that? Surely he must have misunderstood you?”

Blaine again. Kurt was beginning to wish for a time machine so he could go back and tell himself to stay as far away from Blaine as possible at all times.

“I was asking myself that same question for a bit, but if he's saying I turned him down then apparently he did get the message.”

She frowned, obviously not pleased.

“Look, Kurt, I know you have all these ideas about love at first sight and all that, but honestly? You have to be realistic. So it took Blaine some time to get to the point of asking you out – but do you really think it’s fair to punish him for that? You should give him a chance. After all, this is Lima – who else is going to–”

“What? ‘Who else is going to go out with me’, was that what you were going to say?”

And why wouldn’t she? This was Rachel Berry. Tact wasn’t one of her strengths – maybe not one of her character traits at all – and neither was empathy. This is Lima, remember? Remember what Dave said about you being his only option?

“Honestly? I know that this is Lima, and I know what that means. Hell, I was sure I’d have to wait until college to get a boyfriend, and you know what? I’m okay with that. I have more respect for myself than to go out with someone just because they ask” or at least I want to have “and I definitely have too much self-respect to go out with a guy that acts like I’m something to be hidden away and he’s only asking me because he’s out of options. You might not care about me and my happiness, Rachel, but I do.

“Yes, I turned Blaine down. Yes, I meant it. And no, I’m not regretting it.

“And frankly? It's more than a little pathetic for Blaine to have his ex try and sell him to someone new – even disregarding everything. It's also not at all attractive.”

The problem with Rachel Berry – be honest, Kurt, one of many problems – was that she was a lot more dangerous than she looked, and she didn't care about casualties as long as she got what she wanted. Well, he was not going to let one of those casualties be Finn.

“No, Quinn isn't cheating on you. I don't care what Rachel says, because unlike her I actually know what's happening. Yes, Quinn is doing something that she's not telling you about. No, that something isn't making out with her ex-boyfriend.”

“Then why isn't she being honest with me about what she's up to?”

“Because it's not her secret to tell. It's not mine either, so don't look at me like that. We all know you have a problem with keeping secrets. Not because you're a gossip, or untrustworthy, but because sometimes you forget who is and who isn't in on something. So, do you think you can trust me when I say that I know what's going on, Rachel's completely wrong, and you have nothing to worry about? Because I promise you, if Quinn was cheating on you I would tell you.

“Rachel's just stirring up shit, hoping that you'll dump Quinn and come back to her now that she and Blaine's over.”

“You promise?”

And Kurt's heart hurt as he looked at the boy that'd become his brother. Finn had believed Rachel's trash-talk because he was so used to being cheated on – and cheating himself – that he didn't know how to expect anything else.

“I promise. Now, want to help me finish up dinner?”

Crisis adverted. Hopefully.

Of course it wasn't that easy. Finn refusing to go along hadn't stopped Rachel – if anything it'd made her even more determined to dig up some kind of dirt. And in her wake had come Jacob ben Israel and his damned camera and pictures in the fucking Muckraker. He liked Sue Sylvester more than most students, and felt he owed her to a degree, but this was crossing a line he wasn't going to forgive in the first place.

Not from anyone involved.

And of course it all came to blows in Glee. Even worse? The newly recruited members were there to witness.

He'd been happy to see their numbers increase, but now he found himself wishing that Mr Schue had been as ineffectual as usual so that there hadn't been quite as large an audience to Sam's humiliation.

“No. Sam, you don't owe them an explanation. You don't owe anyone anything. Rachel's inability to keep her nose out of other people's business did this, not you or I. McKinely isn't safe for LGBT students and she knows it. She also knows that it doesn't matter if someone's actually LGBT or not, just what people believe. What Jacob ben Israel posted could have landed you in the hospital or worse, and Rachel was the one who led him there.

“Won't your dads be proud of you, Rachel, knowing what you've done?”

“I haven't done anything wrong! Quinn was the one sneaking around on Finn–”

“Shut up, Rachel. She wasn't doing anything wrong – she was being a good person. Remember what that is?”

Rachel wasn't the only one whose mouth fell open as Finn spoke. Quinn looked happy as she sent him a soft smile, and Kurt, Kurt was so damned proud of his brother.

“Finn!”

“No. Look, what I did to Sam–”

“We.”

“Fine, what we did to Sam was shitty. Yet somehow he and Quinn managed to keep some level of trust and friendship, and that's just... Awesome. And I am not enough of an asshole to get in the middle of that. I trust Quinn, and I trust Sam, and you don't get to say otherwise.

“As for Kurt, yeah, you don't get to say shit about that either. Sam's never been anything but cool with Kurt, unlike the rest of us, and I thought you of all people should know better than this.”

And wow, Finn had really worked on his “disappointed in you” look. It was quite frankly amazing. The others seemed to think so too, judging from how they reacted as Finn slowly turned to meet everyone's eyes.

“I hope I don't have to explain to anyone exactly how not at all acceptable it is to spread this shit around the school. I know I'd hate to end up in detention for fighting with a team mate, or for getting into it with a girl.” “That doesn't mean I won't” hung in the air, just as loud as if Finn had actually said it out loud.

“Mr Schue? Could we get back to what we're supposed to be doing here?”

And of course since it was Finn asking that was exactly what happened.

Kurt spent the rest of practice seething.

Rachel was waiting for him by the Nav after Glee, which meant she'd put on some really impressive speed to beat him there.

“Kurt. You have to listen to me. Finn doesn't understand how dangerous it can be, being LGBT in a town like this, but you and I, we do. You know how much danger Sam will be in if people think you are seeing him.

“There are already people whispering about you turning him gay, or worse. You remember what it was like before. Do you realize how bad this is for Sam? He could get hurt – someone could hurt him, because of this. Because of you. Do you really want that for him?”

“Of course I don't, but–”

It was like speaking to a wall, except less effective.

“I just...I think you should try and distance yourself from whatever it is that you think that the two of you have going on. You should get a boyfriend.”

And there it was. Find a boyfriend. Next she’d be pushing Blaine on him again.

Anyone else, Mercedes or Tina or Brittany or yes, even Santana, and he’d have been willing to think they were looking out for him, and Sam. But this was Rachel, and he knew her too well for that.

Maybe Rachel really did care about Sam, but, Kurt knew, for Rachel Berry it was always about her in the end. Apparently once her romantic relationship with Blaine was over they’d  allowed it to morph into some strange symbiotic friendship – which Kurt felt was probably less than healthy.

Blaine wanted Kurt to go out with him, and that meant Rachel wanted it too, meaning it should happen. After all, not getting what they wanted lessened the duos’ focus on being stars, or something like that.

Also – and okay, he had no proof for that part except for experience, but that was valuable enough – if Kurt wasn’t around Sam Rachel could focus on the fact that Quinn was, could try again to drive a wedge between the blonde and Finn, hopefully leaving Finn free for the taking.

Too bad Kurt wasn’t going to cooperate then.

“Look, Rachel, even if I did find a boyfriend it wouldn’t stop me from being friends with Sam, from spending time with him. In fact, any boyfriend worth the trouble would never try to stop me from that. And it’s not like something as simple as me staying away or the truth is going to stop the gossiping jerks of McKinley. It never has before.”

They'd both been subjected to enough gossip to know that, after all.

“Also, seriously Rachel? This is only a problem because of you. You had no business sneaking around and spying, and you most definitely had no right spreading those rumors. If someone hurts Sam because of that it won’t be my fault, it’ll be yours and Jacob ben Israel's. After all, we kept a low profile for a reason. No one would know about us being friends outside of the choir room if not for you and your big mouth and your damned stalking.”

“Then you need to do something about it! We'll find a girl to go out on a couple of dates with Sam – I'm sure Mercedes would be willing. And Blaine is still interested in you, all you have to do is stop playing hard to catch. This isn't the time to let your hurt feelings run the show, Kurt, this is when you need to be better than that.”

And wow, really? Did she crack completely while I wasn't looking?

“Thanks for that suggestion, Rachel. Now would you mind moving, I would like to get out of here.”

Except he couldn't stop thinking about everything. It all went round and round in his head, until the pieces started falling together in a very ugly pattern.

Twenty minutes after leaving Rachel behind in the parking lot Kurt rang the doorbell at the Berrys.

“Kurt! I knew you'd come to your senses! I have the perfect suggestion for you to–”

“Did you do it on purpose?”

“What?”

“Did. You. Do. It. On. Purpose? Did you lead Jacob there on purpose? Did you plan this, Rachel?”

The words were coming out louder and louder, dripping with bitterness, until he was practically shouting.

Hiram Berry came running in to the hallway, took one look at his daughter backed up against a wall and the furious Kurt, and started trying to defuse the situation. Kurt wasn't having it though.

“I'm not leaving without an answer, Rachel. I also don't have a problem with airing this in front of your dad, so if you thought him being here would save you, think again.”

“What's the matter, Kurt? Whatever it is I'm sure we can fix it.”

“Right. Well, see, Mr Berry, I really doubt that. Unless of course you have a time machine hidden away somewhere.

“See, once Rachel and her boyfriend broke up – supposedly because having to keep the New Directions' setlist secret from him was just so hard – she started trying to talk my brother into dumping his girlfriend by claiming she was cheating on him. When that didn't help Rachel decided to keep stalking Quinn in the hopes to take pictures that'd make Finn leave Quinn and come running back to Rachel – or so I assume, since it's not exactly common for her to do things like this without personal gain.

“Now, maybe I would have let Rachel get away with this normally, because she didn't stand a chance of getting what she wanted, but thanks to her actions a good friend of mine is actually in danger right now.”

“I had nothing to do with those photos! And if you're so worried about Sam you should stay away from him and–” Rachel snapped her mouth shut, possibly realizing she was close to saying something that would only give Kurt more ammunition.

“You didn't take those photos, no, but there is no way Jacob ben Israel would have found Sam there without you. You already know he stalks you on a regular basis, so why would you believe he isn't now, knowing that you're single again?”

“I'm sorry, but would you mind telling me what you're talking about?”

Rachel tried to serve her version, but Kurt just talked right over her and informed Mr Berry about exactly what had happened.

“That is horrible, and we are going to come back to that later, but for now I'd like to know why you were asking if Rachel planned this.”

“Because I know her?

“No, sorry. First of all there's Finn. She went to him first, but he refused to listen to her, choosing instead to trust his girlfriend. It would be very much Rachel's style to believe that spreading the information would make Finn change his mind.

“Second, when people started asking Sam if he was involved with me in some way Rachel suggested that I could protect Sam from being called gay – and subjected to the same treatment I get – by abandoning my friend and start dating her ex-boyfriend. That I have no interest in doing so, and have in fact turned him down already, wasn't a concern for her.”

Mr Berry frowned and gave Rachel an appraising look. She soon began to blush, leading Mr Berry to frown even harder.

“I'm really disappointed in you right now, Rachel. I suggest you go to your room and think about what you've done, and we'll talk about this when your dad comes home. Kurt, would you mind answering a few more questions for me?”

It ended up being more than a few questions, but seeing as the result was Mr Berry leaving to talk with both Jacob and his parents Kurt was fine with it.

He was even more fine with it the next day when he found out the results. Jacob had lost his camera and his channel was gone. The Muckraker had been disbanded and that everyone involved had been forced to apologize to everyone they'd trashed – including Sue. And the Evans family had gotten some proper help, both with their living situation and looking for jobs. Mr and Mr Berry did not play around.

The fact that Rachel was subdued and refused to even look at Kurt was just the cherry on top.

~TBC ~

[thatdamnokie]

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.  

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone​ was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

like

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen​)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

D:

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

[sustraiii]

TEAM ZRCN ARC 3 - CHAPTER 16

A day after Wisteria arrived at the base, we learn a little of what happened during Parson and Cordovan’s mission.

CORDOVAN

Cordovan stood silently, watching Wisteria through a glass window separating the corridor to the interview room where the other was sitting cuffed to a table. 

Wren had asked her to be brought  out of her cell to answer some questions regarding the incident the day before, but so far, Wisteria had said nothing, only answering to the simple questions which provided little in the way of the information his mother was looking for. Cordovan questioned whether she would even answer them at all. From what he knew of her, she didn't strike him as the sort to just willingly roll over and comply. Then again, she hadn't quite been herself yesterday. She had barely engaged in the fight yesterday, and when she had, she seemed to lack the usual vivacity he was used to her showing. Not that it made fighting her any easier; even though she had posed little threat to him that day, it had been hard to shift the thoughts of what had happened the last time they had met.

In the room opposite, Wisteria finally leaned forward to pick up the cup of water Cherry had given to her along with a sandwich only minutes earlier. Due to being cuffed, the action it took to drink the water was clumsy, and some of it dripped down her chin. Cherry seemed surprisingly patient during all of this, given that she had been sat with her for nearly two hours.

"Ah, there you are, your mother asked me to find you," A voice sounded from the left, and Cordovan turned his head to see Parson walking down the corridor towards him. "Mr Oxford and Captain Bougainvillea have arrived to talk about what happened yesterday." Parson paused and Cordovan was aware of the older man studying him intently. "Are you alright?"

Cordovan didn't respond at first, too consumed by his thoughts and studying Wisteria in the room opposite. Parson's hand on his shoulder was finally able to bring him back to reality. "Cordovan?"

"Sorry," Cordovan was quick to say, flashing the man an apologetic look. "I'm fine it's just hard being so close to her and not think back on things."

"You don't need to apologise to me," Parson said, squeezing his shoulder a little tighter. "It's understandable you're still feeling a little conflicted about the whole situation. Just remember what I told you, yeah? If your mind starts to bother you, do those breathing exercises, just like I taught you. And if you need an impartial ear to vent to, I'm willing to listen."

Cordovan nodded, smiling appreciatively at the older man. It was hard to admit for him, but he still had several issues to work through in his life. The foremost of which were his conflicted feelings toward Wisteria, which continued to deeply affect his life and ability to carry out his duties as a huntsman-in-training. Training with Parson the past few days had been helping him work through some of those issues, even if it was just scratching the surface. Truth be told, Cordovan didn't know if he was ready to confront his trauma yet, but it was reassuring that he had someone like Parson to help guide him through it when he was ready.

Leaving Wisteria and Cherry alone in the interview room, Parson led him to where Wren was waiting for them with Gorman and Captain Bougainvillea, passing by Helia working on some stances with Calantha in the training room.

They found Wren waiting for them in her private office, huddled together expectantly. Morgan was also present in the room, which Cordovan noted made sense as he had been present at the factory yesterday. He moved to stand on the same side of the room as his mother, Parson, and Morgan.

"Glad we could all make it," Captain Bougainvillea smiled. "You look better than when I last saw you yesterday."

He had only met the head of Highpoint security yesterday, but she seemed like a pleasant enough woman. She was of a similar age to Parson and his mother, had light brown skin, and straight dark brown almost hair that fell past her shoulders. She was efficient at her job, with a firm but fair attitude, and a persistent work ethic. Cordovan got the impression that she was a woman who liked to see things through to the end.

"My apologies for the delay, Wren," Gorman began, straightening his tie as he spoke. "I know you wished to speak about matters yesterday, but as you might imagine, Heath Porfirio, had a lot to talk about."

"It's no problem, Gorman," Wren said, giving him a reassuring smile. "I am just glad we could discuss things sooner rather than later. Please give my apologies to Mr Porfirio the next time you see him, it was never my intention that our alliance with the security team would result in quite such destruction."

"To be fair to our little group from yesterday, when I asked for their help I did not believe we'd be engaging in such a fight," Captain Bougainvillea admitted. "My intel only told me about suspected suspicious activity, not that the Porfirio's place of business had been fully infiltrated by this - what was their name again? - Rossi family."

"To be fair Carmen, I don't think any of us suspected it either," Parson pointed out.

“Heath has already been proclaiming his innocence,” Gorman said, drawing the attention back to him. “He claims to have had no idea about anyone infiltrating his business. He and I do not always see eye to eye, but I am inclined to believe him.”

“As am I,” Carmen agreed, speaking directly to Wren as she did so. "Mr Porfirio's attitude may leave something to be desired at times, as does his daughter we dealt with yesterday, but I have lived in Highpoint for all my life and have known him for just as long. He is an honest man, and certainly not the sort to willingly align himself with people like that."

Cordovan watched his mother closely as she absorbed this information, curious what she thought of their opinions. He had met Heath Porfirio once before, and whilst he had a neutral opinion of the man himself, Cordovan knew that Neela trusted him and that was good enough for him. 

Seemingly, the assurances of Carmen and Gorman were enough for his mother too, as she conceded to agree to not class him as a person of interest in the battle. Moving on, she asked Carmen if the security team had found any traces of the Rossi's and their people after the battle. 

“During our initial search of the area after the battle, we did find a discarded set of clothes. Judging by the burn marks, I’d hazard a guess it was from the individual who got caught up in that dust explosion they used to escape.” Carmen responded to her question.

“Their name is Sparrow,” Cordovan said quickly, when the name suddenly came to him. He could recall them from the attack on his home some weeks before, where they had grappled with Helia, using their speed and quick jabs to keep the older huntress on her toes. Having seen them in battle twice now, Cordovan got the impression that they were not usually the sort to engage in battle and were better suited to a more supportive or evasive fighting style.

"And do you know the name of the woman who triggered the explosion?" Carmen asked, turning towards him.

Cordovan nodded. "I believe her name is Miho Ryuzaki. You'd be better asking Calantha for a more concise answer, as she knows more about them."

"Calantha?"

"Calantha Rossi," Wren answered for him. Judging by the surprised looks on Carmen and Gorman's faces, neither knew about her presence at the base.

"I was not aware you had a member of that family staying with you," Gorman mused. Judging by his tone of voice, Cordovan got the impression that he was unsure what to make of this.

"Similar to the situation with Wisteria, Miss Rossi was entrusted to be watched over by my team by General Ironwood due to her involvement in several active and inactive cases that are of interest to the military," Wren explained, trying to keep the situation calm. She turned to Carmen as she added, "However, unlike Wisteria, you do have permission to question her independently from our alliance with the security team. But you will only do so if Miss Rossi consents, and if one of my team is present during any proposed interview."

Carmen considered this for a moment before nodding to show she understood. "I believe our current situation works fine for the time being. However, I would like any information on those involved in the attack yesterday."

"Of course," Wren nodded. "Morgan, would you be so kind as to help provide Captain Bougainvillea with the appropriate information?"

"Not at all," Morgan said, smiling politely at Carmen. "Captain Bougainvillea, please follow me."

Morgan moved from his side of the room and over to the door, holding it open and gesturing for Carmen to follow him. She gave a quick farewell to Gorman and the others before quietly following Morgan out of the room.

Gorman fiddled with his blazer before looking up at Wren. "I know you promised to relay any information to Carmen if and when it comes out, but I must ask, has Wisteria shown any signs of talking yet?" There was a pause as his gaze moved between Cordovan and his mother. "And I'm not just asking this as a councilman but rather a father. No doubt you're familiar with the situation given what happened to your son, but I will remind you that my daughter was kidnapped by her group all those months ago, and they attempted to ransom her back in an effort to extort money from my family."

Cordovan tensed at the mention of the night, but relaxed when his mother touched his arm. Gorman noticed the gesture, and looked apologetically at Cordovan, who in turn gave a small nod to show he was alright once the moment had passed.

“Unfortunately, Miss Bloome has shown little in the way of cooperation so far,” Wren admitted. “We will continue to hold her until I am satisfied my line of questioning is complete, or unless the General requests I bring her to Atlas.” His mother’s expression softened as she added, “I assure you Gorman - you will be among the first to know of any changes.”

“Thank you,” Gorman smiled. When his smile faded, he looked as though he had something else to say, but was torn between broaching the topic or not. “Whilst I’m here there was actually another topic I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Go on.”

“It’s about the Ball,” Gorman said.

“The Ball?” His mother echoed, clearly a little take aback.

“Yes, it's the annual dance we host at-”

“No, no, I’m aware of what the Astrolabe Ball is,” Wren said, cutting him off quickly. “I was just curious why you brought it up? It isn’t my place to decide whether it takes place or not.”

“Well, given the current situation we find ourselves in, I could understand if you thought it to be great of a security risk,” Gorman pointed out. “We have already had to put the event off for a few weeks due to resource issues, but I think that given the year we’ve all had, we could all enjoy something like the dance to brighten our spirits.”

Wren gestured for Parson to lean close to her, and the two of them had a whispered conversation, which Cordovan was too far away to make out any words. When they had finished, it was Parson who next addressed Gorman. “Do you have any security in place at the University for when the dance would take place?”

“Usually we have one or two members of the security team stationed at the school as a precaution,” Gorman responded.

Parson and Wren shared a glance before nodding their heads in sync. “I have a proposition for,” Wren said. When Gorman nodded his head for her to continue, she revealed the details of this aforementioned proposition. Cordovan listened as his mother suggested they wait for a week to see how events at the Porfirio’s factory would play out and see if anything came of it. If a week passed without issue Gorman could formally announce that the Ball was going to take place. As an extra precaution, Wren even offered up the services of the Mob Ops to help keep the place secure if Gorman was still concerned about a heightened security risk. 

Gorman rubbed his chin in thought before nodding his head sharply. “I would need to repeat your proposition to the board of governors for the school, but I think your proposition will go down well.” He smiled and proceeded to extend out a hand for Wren to shake. “It’s been a pleasure as always, Wren. Now if you excuse me I must go and find Carmen again.”

“Is a dance really wise?” Cordovan asked his mother, once he could no longer hear the sound of Gorman walking away. “Considering their previous actions, I doubt the Rossi’s would just drop everything so that we can enjoy a dance.”

“Which is why we are taking precautions,” Wren assured him, fixing eyes with her son. “And, if the Ball is to go ahead, we will continue to take precautions during the night. As Gorman said, with everything we’ve been through as of late, this could be a welcome distraction. Especially for you…”

[medeafive]

Blood and Stone - 22

Masterpost

"Where'd your friend go?" Tony asks, grabbing the chips. "Turned around and he was gone."

 "I don't know, I'm not his babysitter," Natasha returns, nibbling on a carrot. "Can I ask you something?"

"You mean, whether it's bad when your boyfriend finds out you're pregnant and disappears without a word?" Tony specifies, licking his fingers. "Yeah, it is."

Natasha snorts. "Fuck off, that's not what happened. Who's Lara Croft?"

Tony snorts, dropping onto the couch. "Oh, great, so you just pretend to be asleep the whole time. Do you actually eat or is that also some magic trick?"

"Answer my question, you coward," she returns, picking up cucumber slices.

Tony sighs. "Well, that's not exactly up your alley but- it was one of the last video games that came out, couple of years ago. Nobody really cared, because of vampires and all, but I think it would have fared much better otherwise. She's an archaeologist, but the cool kind, looking for hidden treasures, fighting mummies and tomb raiders- actually, that was the name of the game. Yeah, and she's animated but- she was always wearing tank tops and shorts and all."

"Oh God," Natasha remarks with amusement. "That is horrible ."

"Was just a joke," Tony defends. "Yeah, and the lady from Resident Evil fights vampires, in similar garments. You get the picture."

"Have you ever seen me in shorts ?" Natasha questions. "That's ridiculous. So you were just hitting on me while I was asleep."

"Not that asleep, apparently," Tony points out wistfully. "Nah, just pointing out the archetype, extra tough sexy badass and all. And, well, looks really cool from a distance, not sure it's as cool when you get closer."

"You were totally attracted to me when I got here," Natasha recalls. "But then you tried to set me up with your best friend and- I don't know, I never took it seriously. Also, you were with Pepper and I'm really not a homewrecker."

"So vampires are cool but taken guys aren't?" Tony prompts. "Also, if you'd let yourself be set up, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Yep, and I'd also be either dead or a vampire right now," Natasha returns. "Doesn't that sound great."

"I think you're well on your way to being dead but Bobbi seems to disagree, so what do I know." Tony rubs his forehead. "But- Barton ?"

Natasha snorts. "You're really blowing this way out of proportion. And don't give me that shit that he's older than me, you're all older than me except for Sharon, and I already got that from the vampire."

"The fuck does he think he can tell you," Tony remarks. "When he's basically a hundred years old."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Natasha returns, picking up another carrot. "I mean, he went pretty hard to our side. A traitor of all vampirekind or whatever."

"You just enjoy making people do radical stuff, don't you?" Tony grins. "Manipulating people, having that power. Don't think Lara Croft was like that."

"Yeah, maybe stop comparing me to pixel women in shorts," she counters. "Just trying not to get killed, thank you very much."

"Hey guys." Bobbi turns the corner, yawning. "How are you? Don't listen to Tony."

"What'd I do to you?" Tony complains.

Bobbi snorts, crossing her arms. "Is he telling you you can't be a hunter? Cause that's what he used to tell me."

"Not true," Tony objects. "I said you weren't ready to be a hunter. And then you went out anyway and promptly got hurt."

Bobbi shrugs. "Learning by doing. Honestly, Pepper would have started going out much earlier if you hadn't told her it's too dangerous."

Natasha follows the exchange with amusement, nibbling on her carrot. "It is dangerous!" Tony defends. "And I built her the suit, don't act like I wasn't supporting her."

"Y'all can't deal with loss, is what I'm saying," Bobbi returns. "You only built her the suit because she was about ready to break up with you. Different kind of loss."

Tony snorts. "You know what, I really didn't miss that argument."

"You guys seem fun," Natasha throws in. "I'm good, by the way."

"Yeah, I actually came down so we could do some prenatal prep," Bobbi replies. "Because you only got two weeks."

"What the fuck is that?" Natasha asks.

Bobbi grins, gliding her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. "Pushing and breathing. Not much more. Certain muscles you need. It's pretty awkward, though, so let's better do it downstairs or somewhere else private."

"I thought you'd just do a C-section," Tony suggests.

"Not if I can avoid it," Bobbi replies. "Not sure we have the equipment for that. Risk of infection, risk of strong bleeding, I'd rather try the vaginal route if it's possible."

"...I'm just gonna keep that joke to myself," Tony suggests.

"Thanks," Bobbi replies. "Very generous of you."

  "Tony said you were doing lady stuff," Pepper remarks, putting her helmet down. "And we want in on that."

"What, you also want prenatal prep?" Bobbi asks, spinning in her chair like she was born in it. "How was patrol? Quiet night?"

"Quite the opposite," Sharon replies, hopping onto a table. "Saw three vampires. One got away. All fledglings, they must have come in from outside town."

"Three?" Natasha repeats with worry. "We haven't seen a single one in weeks ."

"Maybe that was your friend's doing," Pepper suggests, pulling off the shoulder plates. "You should ask him. Where is he, by the way?"

"I don't know, guess he left," Natasha admits. "He'll come back sometime."

She hates how vague that sounds, but she really doesn't know. "He ran into Steve, didn't he?" Sharon suggests. "That probably scared him."

Right. Completely harmless explanation. "Oh, but this is great," Pepper remarks, brushing through her hair. "I haven't met so many friends in a long time."

"Yeah, tell me everything!" Bobbi encourages, giggling. "How are things with Tony?"

"Pretty good," Pepper replies, also leaning against the table. "Really good actually. I still have to kick him once in a while but not as often. So I'm pretty happy."

"Kicking him sounds kind of fun, though," Sharon remarks. "Am I wrong?"

Pepper snorts, crossing her legs. "Sometimes. Mostly, it's annoying."

"Still sounds better than when I left," Bobbi insists, crossing her arms. "Honestly, I wouldn't have bet on you two making it. You know, Tony being Tony. Reason enough to dump him."

"He's really improved!" Pepper returns. "Anyway. What about your new guy?"

Bobbi sighs. "Eh, he's fine. Drives me nuts. In the good ways and the bad ways. But it doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be forever, so it's fine."

Sharon shrugs. "I don't know. Dating someone you hunt with sounds like a hassle."

"Oh yeah, why not date someone you hunt?" Bobbi interrupts. "Like a vampire?"

Sharon giggles. "Oh, come on! No offense, Natasha."

"No problem," Natasha replies, even though this whole situation freaks her out. Like, what is she supposed to say? She's sitting there, stone-faced, just listening and waiting-

"That has to be really weird, though," Pepper states. "Physically weird. Just their body temperature, and everything they smell… and the fangs!"

Bobbi chuckles. "Why not ask? Hey Nat, come on, we want to hear something."

Shit. "Oh, we won't tell," Sharon promises. "Ladies' room promise."

Natasha groans, rubbing her face. "Fine. The… what was it?"

"Body temperature, fangs, weird dick, anything," Bobbi repeats. "The juicier, the better."

Natasha snorts. "His dick's perfectly normal. Though- nah, I'm not sure I wanna tell you that."

Bobbi groans. "You motherfucking tease."

"That bad?" Sharon encourages, smiling way too nicely.

Urgh, fine, she's gonna die sooner rather than later anyway. "Not bad. Just, he always has two orgasms. One with just a little bit of stimulation and then he's still hard, you know, second orgasm a while later, everything normal. But it's always two."

"Oh my God, tell me more." Bobbi swirls in her chair, crunching up her face. "But he ejaculates both times?"

What an ugly word. "Yeah, but not very much. Anyway, I think that's all the vampire stuff."

"But he's cold, isn't he?" Pepper questions.

Natasha sighs, letting her head drop back against the pillow. "Sometimes. Just, when you touch him, he gets warmer? In the beginning, it took a while but now, he's basically always warm around me, even before I touch him. And softer, too, just more human, you know? And it worked on the other black cloak, too, not just on James. I don't know."

"The fuck," Bobbi remarks. "Just around you? No one else? That's creepy."

"I don't think anyone else really touched him," Sharon throws in. "So we don't know. Maybe it's psychological, you know, because he's only attracted to her."

"Yeah, we should test that," Bobbi suggests. "Just hold his hand for a while, see what happens."

Natasha snorts. "Well, ask him. When he comes back."

There's a knock on the door and it takes them all a moment to realize it's not the door to upstairs but the one in the back. Sharon hops off the table. "Is that the room with the ice block?" Bobbi asks. "Is that where you put him?"

"Steve," Sharon replies tensely. Pepper walks to the door. "Yes."

Pepper pulls the door open. It's indeed Steve, steadied against the wall. He doesn't look good but he never really does. "Hello," Pepper starts in her professional secretary voice. "I think Sam is still asleep but maybe we can help you?"

Steve blinks at them slowly. Sharon's knuckles are white against the edge of the table. "Oh, no, I really don't want to bother you, I don't need anything, just- do you mind if I join you?"

"Oh, sure thing." Bobbi gets up and pushes her chair towards him. "Here, sit down. No need to exhaust yourself."

Steve drops heavily into the chair. "Thank you. Uh, you're… you're not Sharon, are you?"

"Nope," Bobbi replies cheerfully, pointing to her right. "That's Sharon. That's Natasha, that's Pepper and I'm Bobbi. You're Steve."

Steve smiles as soon as he sees Sharon. "Oh, hey. I saw you- I don't know how long ago that was. Maybe a few days?"

Yeah, and he talked to Natasha yesterday but maybe he already forgot that. "Hey," Sharon blurts out. "I'm- Grandma is- I'm Peggy's granddaughter. She's my grandma."

Steve just blinks for a while. "I'm sorry, I'm still- oh, the- Peggy? Peggy Carter? From Britain?"

"Yes!" Sharon exclaims. "Sorry. Well, after the war, she got married and had my mom and- well, my mom had me and here we are, I guess."

Steve smiles again. "Oh, I see the- the resemblance now. Is she- How is she?"

Sharon giggles. "Oh, good. I mean, she's getting old but still holding on as always, you know her. I haven't seen her in a while, though, travel is very difficult."

"Oh, I absolutely remember that," Steve replies. "She was so determined and disciplined and smart, of course- oh, but she has to be very old now, the- what year is it again?"

"She's 78," Sharon says. "It's 1999. December 1999."

"Wow." Steve rubs his swollen red face. "That- I won't get used to that anytime soon."

Bobbi chuckles. "Uh, should we let y'all work that out alone or…?"

Steve turns. "Sorry, Ma'am. Are- You sound Southern."

"Georgia," Bobbi confirms. "But I'm not related to anyone. And I don't live here anymore, normally. Transferred to Florence, Italy."

"Oh, and I talked to you- was that yesterday?" Steve turns to her lying on the bed. "Was- It was Natasha, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Natasha replies. "Still very visibly pregnant, so I guess you won't confuse me."

Steve blushes, remembering. "Right. Is- is Bucky here?"

"No, he left," Natasha tells him. "Guess he needed some space, after running into you."

Steve groans. "Right, sorry. Does- wait, he would remember Peggy, too, wouldn't he?"

"James doesn't remember shit," Natasha returns. "Sorry. Not Peggy, not you, not anything before he turned into a vampire. Maybe it'll come back slowly but not right now."

"That's- unfortunate." Steve sighs. "That's probably why he- well, I guess he doesn't want to see me then."

"Natasha is a little harsh," Sharon admonishes. "I'm sure he'll remember eventually and it'll all work out."

"Yeah, after the vampire baby bullshit, nothing surprises me anymore," Bobbi remarks.

Steve blushes again. "Uh, so- what are you guys doing here? You're not from here, are you?"

"Oh, I'm Czech," Pepper replies. "Little village in Southern Bohemia, near the Austrian border. Came to Prague to get a job, ended up at this American company that was just getting started over here- with a really, let's say, eccentric boss- yes, and then the vampires. Let's say it really didn't go the way I planned."

"I'm Russian," Natasha adds. "Or I was."

"British American," Sharon states.

"But-" Steve coughs. "Pepper?"

"Oh, that's not my actual name," Pepper replies. "It's Jindřiška. But none of you can say that, so Tony called me Pepper and that stuck."

"And Tony is the-" Steve prompts.

"You saw him already, he was working on James' arm yesterday," Natasha remarks.

"He used to be my boss," Pepper explains. "He's sort of an engineer, an inventor. His company, the one he inherited from his father, used to produce weapons but he's moved it to energy production, reactors and the like, all of it renewable. Though it feels like he really worked on everything at some point, just like Bruce."

Steve rubs his temples. "Oh man. Who is Bruce again?"

"Our resident doctor," Bobbi replies. "He's brilliant, really. Fury recruited him. He used to study biochemistry somewhere in Sweden but when you break your arm, he'll fix that, too."

"Bobbi is a doctor, too," Pepper points out.

"Yeah, different kind, though." Bobbi shakes her head. "I got a medical degree, too, but I specialize in women's health. That's actually how I got here, because I volunteered in the early nineties when they didn't have enough experts in that around here, a lot of them had emigrated. Well, the thing is, babies tend to get born in the middle of the night, so I had to make spontaneous visits while the vampires are out in the streets. Clint started to accompany me, to convoy me so I could do my job without getting killed and… yeah, I wanted to be a hunter, too. So now I'm both."

"People really have a lot less babies now," Sharon remarks. "Not the world you want your child to grow up in."

Steve coughs, swallows. "Right. Uh, so… what did you do, before, Sharon?"

"Nothing," Sharon replies, smiling. "Just finished school. I've always been a hunter."

"Oh yeah," Natasha agrees. "Me too."

"Oh, but Natasha is probably the best tracker in the world," Sharon points out. "Really. She's been doing this longer than any of us."

How she wishes she hadn't. Maybe then she wouldn't be so tired from it. Steve looks confused once more. "What's a tracker?"

"That's a kind of hunter, someone who's very good at finding vampires," Sharon explains. "In the early days, they traveled, following specific vampires and hunting them down, but these days, there are just too bloody many. It's still useful, though, on patrols. I'm a tracker, too."

"Well, I think now we've got everyone," Pepper remarks. "Except for Clint, he's the one with the bow-"

"The- sorry for interrupting," Steve interjects. "With the bow ?"

Bobbi snorts. "Yeah, the bow. Gotta say, it's efficient because you only need to make the tip of the arrow out of silver, instead of the whole knife. But mostly, he just likes to be special or he'd use a gun. Oh, we used to date, if you didn't notice already."

"And Fury, of course," Pepper adds. "Fury is- well, Fury. You'll know when you see him. Rumor is he was a CIA agent stationed somewhere in the Eastern Bloc, and he just stayed around after. And this is not the first station he's run. But really, we don't know, he's not one to share."

"Could you- tell me about Sam, too?" Steve asks.

"His parents were from Angola," Bobbi tells him. "He came here very young. His dad was- was it agriculture? I don't know, he was some technical expert. They came here as refugees, from the civil war, and his father went through East Berlin to West Berlin to the US, trying to get a green card there. Of course, that took years, so Sam mostly grew up here. Yeah, and then he moved to the US, joined the Airforce, all that. Came back when vampires were starting to become a thing here."

"Oh yes, he said it- there are more here?" Steve states tentatively. "Vampires, I mean."

"Yeah, it started in Russia," Natasha remarks. "And you can thank your buddy for that."

Bobbi snaps around. "Wait, what?!"

"He told me," Natasha admits. "Schmidt sent him and he bit four people in Moscow, four in Saint Petersburg. Eight in total. There were others sent to other countries but those were the first ones."

"That motherfucker. " Bobbi snorts, crossing her arms. "I'm definitely not holding his hand anymore."

Steve blushes. "Uh, were you going to…?"

"Oh, we thought about doing an experiment," Sharon explains. "We were talking about that, actually, before- Well, vampires are usually cold, you know? But Natasha said her friend's not cold when she touches him, so… we just wanted to find out how that works."

Steve blushes even more, probably every time he's reminded his old buddy-new vampire knocked her up. "Oh. Didn't think about that."

"Only eight people?" Pepper repeats. "Really?"

"He thought that was enough," Natasha replies. "And boy it was."

"Wait, just so I get that right," Steve interjects. "Bucky caused a global vampire epidemic?"

Well, calling him Bucky really doesn't help. "Pretty much. He didn't know much about the others. I should mention there's some form of mind control involved, from a vampire to the vampire that bit them, though not in every case. Schmidt bit all of the black cloaks, so…"

"Mind control, too?" Bobbi snorts. "Oh, fuck that. That's bullshit."

All that cursing doesn't appear to be good for Steve, blushing and coughing. "But we don't really know how that works either, do we?" Sharon adds.

Natasha shakes her head. "Well, that's going to be an issue if Schmidt shows up."

"Uh, why would Schmidt- he's the Nazi vampire, right?" Steve asks. "Why would he show up? And what are black cloaks?"

Bobbi groans, rolling her head. "Oh man, we're going to be here for a long time, aren't we?"

  They don't get a lot further until Steve is so overwhelmed and tired he goes straight back to bed. Natasha eats a huge amount of pasta and then falls asleep quickly. She's always so hungry and so tired now, though it got better with the vampire blood. She wakes when someone sits down on her bed. It's dark. She blinks. Oh, right. The warm stone touches her shoulder. She yawns. "Oh, you're back."

He sighs. "Yeah. Sorry I ran. It wasn't about you."

"He was here," she remarks. "Earlier today. And man, you really have to explain that guy everything ."

He chuckles, rubbing his ear. "Yeah. I don't know, I'll figure it out. I mean, I'll have to, whether I want it or not."

"You'll figure it out," she agrees. "And you don't have to become best friends with him at all, just clear the air a little."

He shrugs. "Somehow, yeah. And… I'm sorry, I'm sure you didn't want that reaction from me, about the pregnancy. You must have hoped I would be happier about it."

She sighs. "I don't know. There's no right way to feel about this. I didn't expect you to cheer for something that was really bad for my health."

He takes her hand and rubs it. "You smell better, by the way. Less dead, more vampire. I- I can't smell the baby, I think."

"Maybe that's part of the vampire smell," she suggests. "Look, I thought about what you said, that you can't really do this, and- it's okay. I still want to have it. You're enough as you are. Just love me, and support me. That's all I need."

He smiles, golden streaks flashing in the dark. "Always. I will try to look forward to it, then."

She snorts, placing his hand on her rounded belly. "Oh, yes. I also look forward to when this is over."

[ryuukia]

[Translation] SolidS Drama Vol.5 “One faithful day, I saw you laughing under the starry sky” Track 2

Prepare yourselves, we’re going deep into this. Emotionally deep. And the following tracks are almost as deep as this one. Many thanks again to Ryota for proofing this (you’re a life saviour).

Please don’t repost/retranslate/reuse my translations. Likes and reblogs are appreciated.

Track 2: Eichi and Rikka’s parenting talk

Eichi: -gulps down a drink- That was fun! Rikka, thank you for letting me watch the shoot.

Rikka: You’re welcome.

Eichi: Haa..hh, Rikka really is a professional model, after all. Your posture, facial expressions and glaces say it all. I ended up learning a lot of things from you! Well, I may say that, but I don’t think I can imitate something like that.

Rikka: You’re underestimating yourself, you can probably imitate most of it already. I actually envy Eichi for that. You’re tall, and your shoulder and chest width aren’t bad at all. You’ve also got some sort of presence already, you know? I think that you’ve got the ideal body for a male model.

Eichi: It’s true that my height fits… But I have a tendency to stoop over, so I hunch my back over a lot. I first noticed that after looking at a picture we took. It kinda makes me nervous from time to time, actually… So I’m in the middle of working on my posture. 

Rikka: Practicing walking in front of the mirrors in the lesson room could help. I can watch you next time.

Eichi: Eh!? Is that alright!? That would make me happy!

Rikka: No problem. I hope I can make up to you for this.

Eichi: Make up for what?

Rikka: For putting up with my selfishness from today. I suddenly asked you for an outing saying there was something I wanted to talk about, and I ended up making you wait quite a lot.

Eichi: Over something like that? I wouldn’t call that ‘being selfish’, though. Rather, the fact that you invited me made me really happy. 

Rikka: Oh… is that so? 

Eichi: You’re older than me and have a lot more experience career-wise, so I unconsciously put my guard up around you Rikka.

Rikka: -chuckles- I told you earlier, but you don’t need to worry about something like that.

Eichi: I know. I know that you’ve told me that before, and it makes me think that not doing what you wish is sort of rude, but still...

Rikka: In this industry, especially the TV world, it’s all about that hierarchy, right?

Eichi: You’re right.

Rikka: Back in my days as a model, I was also overly conscious about it, but nowadays the people around me are easy-going. Everyone in Tsukipro is pretty frank after all.

Eichi: It must be the company’s atmosphere, huh…? Now that I think about it, Shu is also rather free-spoken. On our first meeting I asked him “Shall we exchange contact addresses?” and he looked really nonplussed.

Rikka: I know what you mean! Shiki reacted the same way!

Eichi: Shiki-san too!? It might be because they were once members of the same unit, but those two are really similar.

-Rikka spins the straw in his drink-

Rikka: Eichi, how’s Shu been lately? 

Eichi: Oh… Shu? 

Rikka: Is he resting properly? Beside QUELL’s activities, he must also have solo activities, right?

Eichi: Uhh… yeah! He’s pretty busy, but from what the manager told us, he’s trying to do things moderately. Shu himself said he’s actually used to taking small breaks during work. And recently he got back on track with QUELL’s activities, which made him look like the happiest man on earth. Considering the piles of jobs he has, he’s surprisingly still alive and kicking.

Rikka: I see. He’s pretty tough, as usual. He’s been working as a talent in this field for a long time, so I guess it feels like second nature to him…

Eichi: In the beginning I was really worried about him, but it doesn’t feel like he’s overworking himself. I started to wonder if maybe it’s time I let him manage his schedule by himself. Instead of asking myself “What does he have to do for today?”, I need to ask myself “How can I show him my support?”

Rikka: ‘How?’

Eichi: If he’s maybe depressed or something.

Rikka: Eeh...? Does he have those kinds of moments too?

Eichi: I’m not really sure, but probably. It’s hard to tell based on his expressions alone, and even if I were to ask him, he’s the type to deny it.

Rikka: Shu… doesn’t talk a lot about himself?

Eichi: In the beginning he used to tell us more about himself. But I always got the feeling he wouldn’t really go into details while at it. 

Rikka: Don’t you get worried thinking he might take too much on?

Eichi: Honestly, there are times when it irks me. But my wish to wait for him to open up by himself is stronger.

Rikka: Then… in those moments, do you simply keep quiet?

Eichi: Hmmm… I try to make small talks with him whenever that happens. Like, things that made him happy that day, or things he enjoyed. Whenever I do that, I feel like Shu’s expression lightens a bit. Though, I can’t really tell if I was being helpful or not~

Rikka: Shu must be really happy.

Eichi: You think? I hope so. Ah, sorry! I shot my mouth off!

Rikka: No, don’t worry about it! I was the one to open this topic. But… I see. QUELL’s ties really run deep.

Eichi: Yes! If they asked me about what we won’t lose to SolidS to, I’d say that it’s our bonds~! Just joking~!

Rikka: Bonds, huh.

Eichi: O..h… now that I think about it… You said that there was something you wanted to talk about...?

Rikka: Eh!? Ah…! ...Yeah.

Eichi: If by chance I went overboard with the things I said, I apologi-

Rikka: You’re wrong! ...It’s the opposite.

-Rikka takes a sip from his drink-

Rikka: Uhm… the thing is… I guess I was just wondering. ...Why am I unable to watch over the others and be there for them just like you? I’ve been reflecting on that a lot...

Eichi: Err… sorry if I’m wrong, but… Are you talking about Shiki-san?

Rikka: Bingo. Sometimes I feel like I nag him too much. Shu may have solo activities, but he’s rarely at a loss because of them. On the other hand, Shiki is different. His main job is composing, and his workload can be packed up to the point he won’t get out of his room. Not to mention how his biological clock is all over the place, I’m just…… worried.

Eichi: Ah… I suppose not knowing what to do made you get worried. I know the feeling. Sometimes just seeing his face in the morning and evening is enough to make you breathe easy again.

Rikka: Exactly. Though when I don’t even know whether he’s asleep or awake, I feel hesitant to call out to him.

Eichi: I can tell this is not something new for you though. I’ve always thought that you’ve been doing a good job backing him up until now, Rikka. To the point that I looked up to you as my goal.

Rikka: ‘Goal’ is a little exaggerated... 

Eichi: Not at all, I’m serious when I say this! Uh, is Shiki-san that busy right now? 

Rikka: Seems that way. I can tell he’s more into it than usual. He’s a workaholic, so he’s always enjoyed being busy, but this time it feels like he’s desperate… Even then, I can’t tell what exactly he’s so busy working on...

Eichi: Hmmm… Being asked that is kinda difficult… If for some reason he’s being quiet due to nervousness, or if he’s being worried since it’s something exclusive, it feels as if we’d be the ones intruding if we voiced unnecessary concerns...

Rikka: I’d rather be a nuisance if that’s all it takes to make him listen. With Shiki being the way he is right now, my words probably go in one ear and out the other. As long as he has his music in front of his eyes, anything else falls on second place. Ah, ...sorry. I made you wait for me only to listen to my complaints.

Eichi: Ah, no, not at all. In this situation, you have all the reasons to call out for help out of concern. SQ’s leaders are both too hard-working in the first place!

Rikka: Exactly! It’s even more frustrating when you can’t do anything to help them. But still, it’s really nothing new for me. I wish though I could show him my support better from now on. 

-both of them exit the shop-

Eichi: That’s right! How about we bring him back a souvenir? We might be able to lure Shiki-san out of his room with some tea.

Rikka: Oh, yeah. That doesn’t sound bad. It may be worth trying. 

Eichi: Alright! That’s settled, then! What should we go for?

Rikka: Fresh cream might be too heavy for the stomach considering he’s tired. What else is there…?

Rikka: Ah, what about daifuku with beans? The ones I got for a souvenir the other day were so delicious~

Eichi: Now you got me curious. Let’s check them out!

If you like my work and you want to support me, you can now buy me a coffee by clicking right [here]. I also started taking commissions, more details are right [here]. Thank you~

[dreamlandofelegma]

Chapter 1: Angara

It was early morning and Elegma was busy preparing herself for high school. She was very well organised and her room was always tidy. She wore black shirt over light blue jeans and brushed her light brown hair to tie them into a pony tail. She was tall and slim and had a graceful look.

She prepared her backpack the night before, just had to put a water bottle inside it. Whenever she went outside she always had water with her. It was a habit she took from her grandmother. She was very close to her grandmother since she was a little child. Her grandmother always supported her whenever she had a problem. Her heartfelt advices always provided guidance for Elegma when things got difficult.

She started school a week ago after her family shifted to the new city. It was one of the largest cities on equator, so the weather remain hot and wet all year long. Her school offered hostel facilities for girls in a building, nearly a kilometre away from the main campus, so she had to take the school mini bus to reach there.

The city weather was cloudy and the landscape green. Elegma could smell the scent of soil after rain. She was walking towards the bus stop with her long legs helping her to complete the distance in no time. She waited for approximately five minutes when the grey mini bus arrived. The student next to the door opened it for her. As she got into the bus, he motioned her a place to sit next to him. She sat down next to him after pushing the sliding door closed.

“Hi Elegma!”, her classmate Leah greeted her from back seat.

“Hi!”, Elegma replied her with a smile.

Leah was a very social girl and chit chats with everyone. Elegma enjoyed her company since she first met her at school. After greeting Elegma she was busy talking to the girl siting besides her. There was a ruckus in the bus. The students were making noise and cutting jokes on each other.

“Hey why did you shave your head, huh!”, asked a boy with long straight hair in a funny tone.

A bald-headed boy sitting in front of him seemed to be his friend and was just enjoying the time. Before the bald-headed boy could answer, another boy took part in the conversation.

“So, the girls look at him and think of him as funny!” , all three of them guffawed at the comment.

Elegma pursed her lips to suppress her smile spreading across her face. She couldn’t help listening to their conversation as they were so loud. The driver seemed upset at the situation. His facial expressions were cold and strict. He was about to burst into anger anytime. The boys payed no attention to his mood and keep on making noise.

The bus stopped at a bus stop and Elegma who was siting besides the door, opened it for the arriving students. As they got inside the driver looked at her as if telling her to pull the door closed. Normally, it would have been the driver’s responsibility to open and close the door properly. Elegma reached out for the door and tried her best to close it properly. The driver started the bus after everyone was settled.

“Hey Eary!”, one of the newly arrived boy patted the bald-headed boy. They greeted and started to comment on his hairless head. The other boys seemed interested in the conversation, as if waiting for something to laugh at.

“The name is Earl not Eary”, the bald-headed boy responded with fake anger.

“Yeah but your ears are so prominent today, I wonder why? Eeeaary!”, the boy replied stressing the vowels “ea” in the most ridiculous sound possible. Again there was burst of laughter inside the bus.

“No actually Eary means the one with two ears, am I right?”, another boy whispered in a way as if telling some top secret to his mates.

“Everyone has two ears”, the bald boy was still imitating an angry face.

“What do you call lice on a hairless head of a man?”, another one took part into the conversation.

“Aaa let me guess, homeless!”, someone replied from the back seat.

“Ha ha ha…”, almost everybody on the bus started to laugh.This time Elegma couldn’t control her smile which soon turned into a laughter also. Suddenly the bus hit the speed bump speedily. Everybody on the bus screamed as they gotten over each other because of the shock. The driver seemed to ignore everybody’s reaction. At that moment Elegma saw the sliding door opened as the bus jerked forward. The driver saw that too and hit the breaks. He got out of the bus in rage and came towards the sliding door. He gave Elegma a harsh look who was still in a shock of what happened. There was laughter everywhere when suddenly all of this happened. Being a sensitive girl, it was all too much for her.

“If you don’t know how to close the door than you must not sit here”, the driver told her in an insulting tone. Elegma couldn’t say a word. Everybody was silent in the bus looking at the ongoing event of the driver’s panic attack. He was angry from the beginning because of the noise made by the students inside the bus. Now he got the chance to display his aggression.

“Next time don’t sit besides the door”, he added and closed the door hastily which gave a loud sound of shutting door. He came on the driver’s seat and started the bus. As soon as the bus started, the pupil started their chit chat again. As if nothing happened. A few of them hooted when the driver was scolding Elegma, but they seemed to be back in their own business.

Elegma felt something burning inside her. Whether it was the embarrassment caused by the insult in front of everyone, or her lack of confidence to express her feelings, she didn’t know for sure. Heat flooded her cheeks as the bus driver's words replayed in her mind. She was paused in that moment when the driver blamed her for something she didn’t do on purpose. She badly wanted to be disappeared where no one could ever see her like this. Her heart raced and body trembled. Soon her embarrassment evolved into anger. She badly wanted to take revenge of her insult from the driver. Her cheeks turned red as she clenched her jaws. Her emotion was getting out of control when suddenly she saw burning red wings and heard a furious screeching sound of a bird. It was as if a bird flew by with enormous speed. She looked at the window again, to be clear about her sensation. She could feel the heat of the bird’s burning wings.

“ It could not be just a perception”, she thought. She was jolting between belief and disbelief when she saw the bird again. This time she had no doubt about it. It was the enormous red bird from her dreams.

“Angara!”, she said in a low voice that only she could hear. Since childhood she was dreaming about some birds. She used to tell about her dreams to her grandmother who was always affectionate towards her and always interpreted her dreams for her, rather than making her feel that her dreams are not important and they don’t have anything to do with the real world.

Angara was flying with the speed of the mini bus. It was a huge red bird whose wings were burning from the edges, causing pain and aggression. It resembled the Phoenix from ancient Arab mythology, but so much bigger in size. Elegma could feel it’s feelings as if it were her own. She swallowed hard and tried to relax herself. Her angry feelings were mixed with fear now. She could feel that only she is witnessing Angara since everyone else in the bus were busy doing their stuff.

Suddenly she saw Angara was trying to attack the driver, who was totally unconscious of its presence. The window on the driver’s side was pecked and stricken by Angara’s sharp eagle like beak. The window had a crack and driver noticed that in the blink of an eye. He seemed puzzled and alarmed, his grip on the steering was tightened. He didn’t want the vehicle to get out of control. Although he couldn’t see Angara but could hear the banging sound made by its beak on the glass window. A moment ago Elegma really wanted to take revenge from the driver, but now she had totally opposite feelings. Her thought of taking revenge was over ridden by guilt and she wanted Angara to stop instantly. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt from her anger which actually was the trigger of Angara’s appearance.

“Please stop this instant!”, she said in her heart desperately wanted Angara to go away. Suddenly her grandmother’s advice came into her mind.

“My beloved child, always remember that

powerful is not one who knocks other down, indeed powerful is one who controls himself in a fit of anger”,

her grandmother used to tell this saying whenever Elegma was angry or upset.

“ My dear, anger is like a fire, extinguish it with water”,

another of her grandmother’s memory flashed in her brain. She immediately searched for the water bottle she put earlier inside her backpack. After drinking water in two to three breaths, Elegma felt quite relaxed and refreshed. Her facial expressions were normalised and so was her breathing pattern. She saw Angara disappeared into thin air. She thanked God in her heart. It was the first time she saw Angara in physical world. She got scared when she was dreaming about Angara, and now she saw it in reality. She was thinking why Angara came like this, it didn’t happen before, but no one could answer her question except her grandmother, whom she could only meet when she go back home.

“Probably Angara came to protect me”, she thought.

She was thinking similar thoughts when the bus was about to enter the school premises. The school had beautiful infrastructure with big green grounds and flowers of all kind. The students inside the bus were silent now, as they were about to leave the bus. As soon as the bus stopped at the main entrance, the driver jumped out of the bus and opened the sliding door for the students to come out. Elegma and the other students went out of the bus one by one.

“Hey Elegma! Wait for me!”, Leah called out from a distance. Unlike Elegma she was kind of petite and couldn’t compete Elegma’s big steps. Elegma turned and waited for Leah.

“Why are you always in a hurry? Don’t want to talk to your friend?”, Leah asked in a friendly tone after catching her breath.

“That’s not true! I enjoy your company very much Leah”, Elegma replied in her usual smile way.

“Hey what happened in the bus, don’t take it seriously, the driver is always like that, he didn’t want to insult you on purpose”, Leah wanted Elegma to feel better.

“ No, I am fine now, actually it was partially my mistake, I shouldn’t sit besides the door, it could be dangerous not only for other students but also for me”, Elegma replied what she was thinking at that time, then her grandmother’s prayers echoed in her ears,

“(Oh Lord) You give honour to whom you please, and You abase (degrade) whom you please, in Your hands is all good”.

She always advised Elegma with powerful words. Elegma was short tempered since childhood. She could get angry over small things. No one liked her behaviour but her anger was not in her control. She didn’t want to get angry and make her parents and loved ones upset. After her anger went away, she immediately excused the person she was conflicting with.

Whenever she got angry at day time, she dreamed about Angara at night. So many times she told her grandmother about it. Her grandmother told her that anger is not always evil. Sometimes we are allowed to get angry, it’s just that we should know when or when not to express it.

“ My dearest grand child, always remember that, being angry for the sake of taking revenge for yourself is not good, however, being angry for the sake of protecting others from harm is permissible.” Her grandmother once said while combing her hair.

“But grandma if I don’t take revenge I remain upset and can’t think of anything else”.Elegma shared her confusion with her.

“My dear, don’t let your anger become your weakness, make it your strength!”. Her grandmother kissed her forehead after soothing her heart with wise words.

“Hey! Are you with me?”, Leah snapped her fingers in front of Elegma’s face to bring her back from her memories.

“Yeah! Totally!”, Elegma gave her a big smile.

Both girls were headed towards the high staircase to enter their school.

“You know the driver was uneasy after he shouted on you, it was as if some unseen creature is haunting him”, Leah giggled while patting Elegma’s shoulder. Something pinched Elegma inside, she could not tell Leah about Angara, she might think of her as schizophrenic*.

“I think we should hurry for class, it’s time already”, Elegma didn’t want to talk about the bus incident anymore. The school hallway was a few steps ahead and Elegma wanted to climb two stairs at a time, but stopped herself from doing so, to let Leah catch up with her.

“Hi, Eric! Long time no see, where were you been?”, suddenly Leah met an old friend who was climbing down the staircase while they were going up.

“Hey Leah! I went abroad due to some family business, but now I am back!”, Eric seemed happy meeting Leah too. He was wearing camel colour shirt on top of blue jeans. He had an athletic build, but didn’t seem to be over muscular. He was tall and had his dark brown hair combed backwards. His light beard gave him a casual look.

Elegma was about to leave Leah with Eric to go attend her class when Leah stopped her to introduce her to Eric.

“Elegma! Meet Eric, one of my best friends!”, Leah said excitedly.

“Hi!”, Elegma greeted him in a hurry, she wanted to go for class, not only because she was getting late but also there was an uneasy feeling that she always encountered when greeting opposite gender.

“Nice to meet you Elegma!,” Eric responded ina deep voice, no doubt he had a stunning personality.

“Charming, isn’t he!”, someone whispered inside Elegma’s ear. She skipped a beat knowing that it wasn’t Leah whispering in her ear. She looked around in astonishment. She certainly saw someone, but all she could perceive was a round shaped peacock wing.

Chapter 1 reviewed and edited by:

Anna Bouchard

Paula Hughes

Bradley Snow

Caroline Kobe

Gratitude to my fellow writers who corrected chapter 1 and gave precious comments for improvement.

[sirenfromthelostcity]

The One Where The Reader Finds Out

A/N: Sooooo sorry this took so long to post but it’s finally done! I was actually kinda struggling with this request a bit bc I couldn’t see Jack as a pinning type of guy (he’s just so frickin smooth and handsome how come ppl aren’t throwing themselves at him??) but this was actually really fun to write once i got stuff in order. It’s kinda modeled after this episode of Friends (The One Where Ross Finds Out) so you’ll see some similarities if you’ve seen the show. This is my first ever Jack Traven imagine so i really hope i got his character right or at the very least you guys kinda enjoy it. Feedback is always appreciated but now I leave you to it! <3333

Words: 4.2k

Jack Traven can be described as many things. His fellow colleagues at the LAPD often use words such as reckless, bold, and dauntless to describe their fellow comrade. His close friend and supervisor Harry would call him straight up crazy but also very intuitive and clever. As for you, his best friend, you would say that Jack Traven is nothing short of compassionate, valiant, and brilliant. For the most part, all of these descriptions of Jack do not fall short of his actual disposition. But what would best describe him in his current situation is painfully conscious of how painfully oblivious he has been. 

It has been nearly two months since Jack had the brilliant idea to go on a double date with you, your current boyfriend Ian, and his then girlfriend Scarlett. Although you weren’t initially too fond of the idea he meant no harm by it. All he wanted to do was meet the new man in your life and judge if he was good enough to be with his best friend. His vigilant nature is something you’ve always admired about him and it is because of this that you agreed to the double date.

“So,” Ian turned forward in his seat to face Jack now that you and Scarlett have excused yourselves to the ladies' room, “you’re the infamous Jack Traven, (Y/N)’s mentioned you a lot and to be honest, I was a little intimidated by you.”

“Don’t sweat it, man, (Y/N) likes you a lot, I can tell.”

“I sure hope so,” he sheepishly smiled. “So you two are childhood friends?”

“Yeah, I’ve known her for most of my life. We met when we were kids through mutual friends, we lost touch after high school but reconnected when I joined the force a few years ago and found her in the forensics team.”

“And the bond has been restrengthening ever since, huh?”

“Yes it definitely has,” Jack chuckled briefly before taking on a more serious demeanor. “Listen, Ian, (Y/N) is really important to me. She is an amazing, smart, beautiful, and extremely down to earth woman who doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken.”

“Don’t worry Jack, I know I’d be a fool to not recognize (Y/N)’s worth. I know we haven’t been together for long but I really care for her.”

“I’m glad to hear it. It would be a real shame if I have to kick your ass,” he joked. 

He remembers laughing and even toasting in your honor with Ian that night shortly after that conversation. He remembers the great food, good service, and the exuberant vibes of the restaurant. For the most part, everything was going great that night. Then he saw Ian wrap an arm around your shoulder, effectively bringing you in closer to him, and stirring feelings of unease deep within Jack. At that moment, Jack mentally reasoned with himself that he was simply being protective of you. However, he wasn’t able to conjure another sound explanation for why he’d feel a tug at his heart strings whenever he’d catch you smile at Ian or interlock your hands with his. 

Jack rubs at his temples, recalling the night of your double date and mentally kicking himself for not reacting to his own signs sooner. 

“Sir,” the waiter calls out to Jack, pulling him out of his reverie. “Are you ready to order or would you prefer to give your party some more time to arrive?”

Jack pensively casts his eyes on the empty seat opposite of him, a seat reserved for an already late blind date Harry had arranged for him due to being tired of seeing Jack “all mopey and sad about (Y/N).” 

“Y’know,” he sucks at his teeth, “if I’m gonna eat alone tonight I’m gonna do it right. I’ll have the steak with steamed potatoes, a side of mac and cheese, and a beer. You guys have that here right?” 

“Yes we do, sir. Which one would you like?”

“Surprise me,” Jack hands his menu to the waiter and the waiter disappears into the kitchen to post the order.

A moment later, the waiter returns with a beer for Jack and he wastes no time in opening it and gulping it down. He stares at the empty seat in front of him and continues to ponder on you and the rather disheartening news you had given him earlier in the week. 

“He asked you to go on a vacation with him?” 

“Yeah!” you beamed. 

“A vacation,” he repeated in feigned joy. “Together… with Ian?”

“Yes, Jack,” you laughed. “For about a week I believe.”

“And only after two months together…. Wow…. Things are getting pretty serious between you guys, huh?”

“Well, two and a half months now and I guess so,” you shrugged. “I mean, I really like him. He’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met, after you of course. Plus, I’ve been feeling really stressed out with things lately so a few days off and being in different setting just might be what I need right now.”

Jack motions to the waiter for another beer and the waiter readily complies. Once again Jack downs the drink as quickly as he received it in an attempt to drown his sorrows and his longing to be with you.

Moments later a slender, short-haired brunette donning a chic black dress hurriedly enters the restaurant. 

“Good evening, ma’am,” says the hostess, stopping the mysterious brunette before she can venture too far, “can I help you?”

“Yes, Hi. I’m really late for a date,” she replies, her eyes surveying the restaurant for her date, “he’s probably- Oh! He’s over there!” 

The waiter is handing Jack another beer and taking the empty bottle to discard it when the brunette approaches his table and introduces herself. 

“Hi, you’re Jack right?”

“Yeah,” he looks up at her in question.”Are you Annie?”

“Yeah I am and really late, sorry about that but my bus caught some traffic on the highway.”

“It’s no problem,” Jack rises from his seat and quickly straightens out his brown suit jacket before shaking her hand and pulling out her chair in which she gladly sits on. 

Jack signals for the waiter and he promptly returns with a menu for Annie and waits patiently for her to order. Since Jack already finished his second beer he requested a bottle of wine for him and Annie and once the waiter exits their date resumes. 

“So Harry tells me you’re in the force with him,” Annie starts.

“Yes, I am. What else did he tell you?”

“Don’t worry, it was all the good stuff,” she smiles and Jack gives her a small smile back.

“In that case, he probably didn’t have a lot to say,” he jests.

“Don’t sell yourself too short now, it was enough to get me to come here.”

“Well, since you know about me, why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Annie starts to go on about her interests, her job, how her day went, and her connection to Harry and his wife, Patty. Her connection to Harry and Patty is actually a pretty good story. Too bad Jack is too zoned out to pay attention to it. Annie is by no doubt charming and attractive but Jack can’t help his thoughts and attention from shifting back to you and Ian. 

I’m not just jealous. How can you go on a vacation with someone you’ve only known for like two months?

But how can an idiot like me not have notice he’s in love with his best friend?

Time passes and the waiter stops by to collect their now empty plates. Jack nods every now and then and has been downing cups of wine quicker than he can notice. However, Annie does.

“Um, are you okay?” she questions.

“Hmm what? Yeah, why?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you just seem a little-” 

Jack’s cup makes a loud clinking sound with the now empty wine bottle as he attempts to pour himself every last drop of the bottle before haphazardly tossing it into the ice bucket and chugging his cup of wine. 

“Jack,” Annie calls for his attention. 

His drunken eyes shoot up in question before releasing a tired sigh, finally recognizing what he’s doing.

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally like this on dates, or in life, I don’t even drink wine like that. You’re great, you’re beautiful, it’s not you,” he rambles.

“What is it then?”

“It’s me-– well, it’s this friend of mine.”

Annie, knowing exactly where this conversation is heading, props her elbow on the table and rests her head on her hand.

“Does this friend happen to be an ex-girlfriend by any chance?”

“Not exactly,” he looks down. “She’s my best friend. We’ve been friends since we were kids so we’re really close. She’s always been the one person I know I could trust indefinitely and she’s always been there for me, she just… she means so much to me.”

“Oh, I see, and what’s the issue with this best friend?”

“She’s going on a vacation with her boyfriend.”

“Wow, no, yeah, that seems,” she furrows her brows in confusion, “awful?”

“I mean they just started going out,” he motions with his hands. “Would you go on a vacation with a guy you knew for only, like, two months?”

“No, not really–”

“Exactly! He exclaims. “Why do they even have to go on a vacation? Why can’t they just go on another date or just hang out, something less serious than a vacation, why not go out to dinner or something, do one of those… what are they called? What are they called? What are they called?” he snaps his fingers, trying to think of the word he wants to say and not realizing he just said it.

“Uh, a date?”

“Yes!” he exclaims again. “Man, you’re so smart.” 

“Yeah,” she flatly says. “Listen, you clearly have feelings for this friend of yours. Why don’t you just, I don’t know, tell her how you feel?”

“It’s too late for that,” he slumps in his chair. “(Y/N) has a boyfriend now and I’m just an idiot who didn’t know about his feelings soon enough. And she’s happy, she looks happy. It’s not right of me to ruin her happiness just because I want to be with her. I just wish I could get over her, why can’t I get over her?”

Annie huffs and her bangs gently fly up. 

“Look, Jack, I’ve been where you’re at. You’ll get over her. You just feel like this now because you haven’t gotten any closure–”

“Closure!” he enthusiastically points at her. “That’s it! I need that! How do I get that?” 

“Well, there’s no one way to it. Really it’s just whatever it takes so that you can finally say ‘I’m over you.’”

“I’m over you,” he repeats and motions with his hands. “That simple.”

Jack begins to look around his surroundings and an idea strikes him when he sees a man behind him talking on his cellular phone. 

“Excuse me, sir,” he calls for the stranger’s attention but when that doesn’t work he scoots his seat closer to the man, nearly falling off from it, and continues to call for his attention until he finally turns around.

“Hold on a second,” the man says into his phone before directing his attention to Jack. “What?”

“Hi sir,” he slurs, “can I please borrow your phone? It’ll only be a minute.”

‘“I don’t know if you noticed but I’m currently using it”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you’re in the middle of having dinner with a pretty lady and you being on your phone right now is rude.”

After bickering with the stranger for a few minutes, and being quite unsuccessful in getting him to give him his phone, Jack grunts in frustration and begins to search for his badge. 

“Look I didn’t wanna do this but,” he flashes his badge to the now startled stranger, “LAPD, sir, I'm gonna need you to surrender your phone to me right now, I don’t wanna have to call for backup.”

“Oh my god,” Annie murmurs under her breath, rubbing at her temples with her hands.

As expected, the man finally yields his phone to Jack and he quickly thanks him for it before turning back to Annie in his seat and dialing your number. His eyes are squinted and he messes up the first two times when marking your number but he finally gets it right the third time. He gets your answering machine and patiently waits to leave you a message. 

“Hey (Y/N), it’s Jack. Just calling to let you know that I’m good. Everything is all good now. I’m really happy for you and Ian and the sudden vacation you’re both gonna go on. Feel free to bring me a keychain from wherever you go because I’m over you. That’s right. I am over you. And that, my darling (Y/N), is what we call closure.”

Jack lazily holds the phone above the ice bucket before dropping it in and leaning back in his chair and Annie immediately calls the waiter for the check. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day….. 

Jack is awakened by a pounding ache in his head and the sudden exposure to daylight makes him cringe in pain even more. He slowly rises from his bed, closes his curtains, and goes to his medicine cabinet in the bathroom to search for some aspirin. Upon finding the desired drug, he pops one into his mouth, turns on his bathroom sink, and uses his hand to cup the water to drink and swallow the pill. He takes a few more gulps, finding himself suddenly incredibly thirsty, before brushing his teeth and putting back the aspirin. It’s when he closes the medicine cabinet and sees his reflection in the mirror that he realizes he’s still dressed in last his clothes from last night which prompts an important question in his mind.

How did I get home? 

Jack cautiously opens part of his curtain and searches his neighborhood for his car. When he doesn’t find it he assumes his date called him a cab and is actually grateful she didn’t allow him to drive himself. 

His date. 

What was her name?... Andrea?... Or was it Anne?... Annie?

Immediately he begins to feel embarrassed for how foolish he must’ve acted last night. He already knows he’s gonna be getting an earful from Harry since he’s the one that set up the whole thing in hopes of helping John move on from you. Yet, it’s not like he didn’t want to try. 

Jack sluggishly makes his way towards his kitchen heading specifically towards his refrigerator for a hangover cure. Right as he’s opening the door to his fridge he hears someone knock on his door. He glances at his watch, noting that it’s only a little past eight thirty in the morning, and wonders who could be at his door so early. 

“Morning, sunshine,” you greet Jack when he opens the door.

“(Y/N)?” 

You give Jack a quick once-over.

“You’re dressed a bit formal for our breakfast plan but I’m digging the dapper look,” you make your way to enter his apartment and he quickly moves aside, letting you in and leading you to his kitchen.

“Breakfast plan?” he questions again.

“Yeah, we were supposed to get breakfast today, don't you remember?” Jack stays silent with a pensive look on his face and you have your answer. “From the look on your face I take that as a no. Oh, how did your date go last night?”

“How’d you know about that?”

“You told me about it,” you chuckle. “Jesus, how much did you drink last night, you seem pretty out of it.”

“I might’ve drunk a little bit past the average standard of too much.”

“Wow, was the date really going that bad?”

“I honestly can’t remember much but I know it was less than ideal and I know for a fact it was my fault.”

“Why do you say that?” you wonder and suddenly you find yourself being looked at rather oddly by Jack. “And why are you staring at me like that?” 

“I Just– I think I had a weird dream about you but I can’t remember.”

“Well that sounds fun. Maybe you can tell me about it over breakfast, if you’re still up for it?”

“Yeah, of course,” he nods. “Honestly food is just what I need right now. Just let me change,” Jack turns around and makes his way to his room but abruptly stops to turn towards you once more. “Did you and I speak on the phone last night by any chance?”

“No, I spent the night at Ian's. I actually haven't even had a chance to check my messages yet, mind if I use your phone?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll be out in a few,” Jack casually swats his hand in the air as an okay before retreating to his room.

You thank him as you move to retrieve his phone and dial your number and code to your answering machine. After about a minute you’re finally able to check your messages and smile in delight upon hearing Jack’s voice. 

“Jack, I got a message from you.”

Immediately Jack comes out of his room, wearing only a tank top and his dress pants from last night and a look of panic on his face. 

“You sound so wasted,” you giggle. 

“(Y/N), give me the phone,” he quickly makes his way over to you but you start to move away towards the living room.

“No way, I love listening to your drunken rambles,” with a secure grip on the phone you run to one side of the couch and Jack anxiously follows. 

“(Y/N), I need the phone, give me the phone, give me the phone now,” he pleads, anxiety clear as day in his voice.

Committed to retrieving the phone from you, Jack chases you in circles around the couch until he’s finally able to tackle you onto the couch and swat the phone away from you. However, by the look of pure shock on your face, he knows he’s too late.

“Shit,” he starts, rising from the couch and running a hand down his distressed face, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!…” 

“You… you’re over me?” you slowly start to sit up on the couch. “When–when were you… under me?”

Jack continues to groan and pace the area, “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“I mean… it was only a message addressed to me. But… Jack… do you… are you … Jack,” you stand up and grab his arm, stopping his pacing and implore him to explain.

“Okay… okay fine,” he clears his throat. “So-uh basically, lately I realized I have-uh feelings for you…” 

“Oh...,” you slowly sit back down to process Jack’s confession and Jack joins you on the couch.

“(Y/N), please say something.”

“.... Pineapple.” 

“What?”

“You said say something and I can’t really think of anything to say at the moment.”

“Okay, that’s fair, this is all pretty sudden.”

“Ya think?” you scoff. 

“(Y/N), I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do this or Ian. I didn��t mean for you to find out this way. Actually I didn’t mean for you to find out about this ever, I know Ian is a good guy and he makes you happy–”

“Yeah, he is a great guy and he does make me happy,” you say aloud, yet it’s more to yourself as you’re struggling to make sense of all this. “Oh god, Ian,” you rub your temples. “Why now, Jack? Why couldn’t you realize all this before?”

“I mean, what difference does it make now… unless…. do you?... (Y/N)....” 

You sit silently hug yourself. 

“(Y/N), do you have feelings for me?”

“Yes, Jack, I’ve had feelings for you for the past I don’t know how many years now,” you snap, standing from your seat and pacing back and forth. 

“Wait what?” now Jack stands from his seat and stops right in front of you accidentally causing you to collide with him and he instinctively holds you to steady you. “You–you’ve had feelings for me? Are they… are they over?”

“Are you over me?” 

You gaze into each others’ eyes, each searching for an answer to their question. You catch Jack look at your lips and you can’t help but look back to his. Before either of you know it you’re slowly leaning into each other until there’s nothing left between you and your lips finally meet. Jack’s arms immediately snake around, bringing you in closer as he kisses you hungrily. You kiss him with the same craving and hunger as this is what you’ve wanted for so long. Yet, after a few seconds you pull back breaking the kiss and turning away from him. 

“I’m sorry,” you turn once more to look at him before heading for the door, “I have to go… I just can’t right now, Jack.”

With that said, you exit his apartment and Jack slumps down onto his couch. He traces his lips with his fingertips recalling the taste and feel of yours lips on his before throwing his head back and sighing. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that day….. 

Jack enters his apartment with Harry following behind him. 

“You want a beer?” he asks Harry.

“Can’t.”

“What are you practicing sobriety all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, when the Nile runs dry.”

Jack laughs as he enters his kitchen and opens a beer for himself, Harry leans on a counter and Jack joins him to stand on the opposite side.

“I actually can’t right now. Patty and I have dinner plans in about an hour and I can’t be late or I’ll miss the earful she’s gonna give me for how drunk you were on your date with Annie and if I miss that it’s only gonna be worse when I get home.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I really did want to try and move on but the entire night I couldn’t get (Y/N) out of my mind. I still haven’t talked to her since this morning ...” 

“(Y/N) just needs time, Jack,” Harry reaches over the counter and comfortingly pats Jack’s shoulder. 

“What if I lose her, Harry? And I mean completely. What if she doesn’t even want to keep me as a friend?” 

“That’s not gonna happen. No matter what she decides, you guys have been friends for years and I know (Y/N), she’s not just gonna throw all that down the drain. You guys will get through this.”

Harry glances at his watch and begins to straighten himself out to leave.

“I gotta go. You’ll be okay?” 

“I’ll find a way to be fro tonight,” Jack takes a few gulps of his beer. “Thanks again for taking me to bring my car back from the restaurant.”

“You can just pay me back a beer some other day. See you tomorrow, Jack.”

Harry exits Jack’s apartment and he’s about to go into his room until he hears a knock on his door. Thinking it’s Harry, he puts down his beer and goes to open the door.

“Rethought that beer did you– (Y/N)...,” he momentarily freezes.

“Hey, Jack, can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jack moves aside allowing you to walk in and you stand by his kitchen counter. “How are you?”

“Honestly? A lot better. And you?”

“At the moment I’m just really glad to see you. (Y/N), can we just forget what happened this morning?”

“Jack–”

“I don’t wanna lose you, (Y/N), I know you’re with Ian and I know things could probably get kinda weird because of what I said but I don’t want to not be with you in any way.”

You smile at his sincerity and your heart flutters within you as you say your next words. 

“I don’t want to not be with you either,” Jack grins in relief at your words. “And as for Ian, he really is a great guy… but he’s not you.”

Jack’s eyes light up at your words.

“You mean?...”

You nod.

“I broke up with Ian. It’s always been you, Jack.” 

Instantly Jack wraps his arms around you bringing you in for a tight, warm hug and briefly lifting you up. You happily giggle and hug him back, blushing when he pulls back to kiss your forehead. 

“You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me,” he kisses your forehead once more. “Aw man, poor Ian, though.” 

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Now that I’ve had time to think about it we were moving kinda too fast with the vacation, he’s great but I did kinda just meet him.” 

“Well his loss is my gain and I am not letting you go,” he looks lovingly into your eyes before slowly leaning in and capturing you both in an ardent kiss. 

The first kiss of many that is to happen in your newfound relationship and the kiss that is to kickstart the new chapter in your lives together.

[imaginedolanscribbles]

A heart’s journey [2/10]

Part ONE

warnings: forced marriage

words: 2.672

summary: you finally meet the twins

tagslist: @graydolan12 @sweet-dolans

TWO

When you join the breakfast table the next morning, the Duke has already left, and the Duchess and a lady, you guess to be her eldest daughter, are talking closely. All you can hear is the Duchess saying “… just outrageous!” and her daughter replying with: “But how is that her fault at all?” They fall silent when you enter the room and the girl stands up to curtesy in greeting. She has beautiful long hair that is dark at the roots but turns into a honey colour at the ends, and she isn’t wearing a dress but loose trousers and a beautiful dark jacket, lined with black fur and covered in fine silver lines.

“Good morning, my lady”, she says with a small but earnest smile. “I hope you slept well? I have been looking forward to finally meeting my future sister-in-law.”

You curtesy as well and try hard not to blush. “Pleasure to meet you, my lady.”

“You can call me Cameron”, she says and shrugs. You notice the fine silver lines on her jacket are actually hundreds of fine, small ‘V’s. “Since we’re going to be family anyway.”

You nod and carefully decide you like her. She seems like a genuine person. You sit down opposite to her, on her mother’s other side, and start eating as soon as you remember how hungry you are. The Duchess doesn’t say anything as she finishes up her breakfast, but you can’t spare her any thoughts. As long as you mind your table manners, she can’t have anything to complain about.

It’s probably good fortune they don’t turn up until you’re nearly finished. You hear them before you see them, but you don’t realise what it is you’re hearing until the door is already thrown open and the same person walks in twice.

“Hey, mum, Ethan says that… oh.” The first one interrupts himself as he notices you sitting next to his mother. His eyes are dark, almost as dark as his hair. Despite the cold temperatures out here his skin looks almost golden, contrasting sharply with the white tunic he’s wearing, tucked carelessly into his black pants. You notice something silver dangling from his ear but you can’t identify what it is from this distance.

The one that entered the room second looks exactly the same, only are his ears pierced with simple black stones, instead of the one silver dangling one. His tunic is dark blue, which is maybe why he seems paler than the first one, and it is tucked neatly into his trousers. Since the first one spoke of him in the third person, the one in the darker tunic must be Ethan. Interestingly, apart from his shiny belt buckle and the earrings, none of them are wearing any jewellery.

You stare at him for a long second, not completely grasping that this is the person you’re meant to marry, and he stares right back at you apparently equally lost for words. He’s … well, he’s unbelievably gorgeous, that’s what he is. Obviously. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen anyone as attractive as him. Apart from his brother, of course. They look like they belong on an oil painting, something unreal, the depiction of an artist’s imagination of perfection.

It’s just that … you can’t believe yourself. Your future husband is perfect, around your age and good looking. That’s more than most girls your age can say. But still. There’s nothing, no connection. Yet, you remind yourself. You haven’t even exchanged one word, the connection will form eventually. You probably read too many romantic novels, somehow you seem to have gotten up some misguided hopes of an instant connection. Then another thought sobers you up, as well, putting Ethan’s ridiculously pleasing appearance in the background: you don’t know him, yet. He might be cruel, or mean, or violent, or all of the above. He might also be kind. The bottom line is, you don’t know. Yet.

It’s only when the Duchess clears her throat dryly that you snap out of it and scramble to your feet in such haste, you almost trip over your dress.

“Your Graces”, you croak nervously as you curtesy to the brothers. “I apologize for – “

“None of that, I’m Grayson”, the one with the silver earring says, frowning slightly. “And he’s Ethan. He really doesn’t need an extra title, just because he was born two seconds earlier.”

“Pleasure to meet you”, Ethan say and reaches out to brush his lips against your knuckles shortly.

“The pleasure is mine”, you reply automatically as you get your hand back. After another awkward pause, the Duchess has all of you sit and a heavy silence falls over the table for what feels like eons.

“Well, since we’re all here already – except for your father, but when is he not somewhere else in the important moments? – let’s make some things clear”, the Duchess starts and while she talks like she’s addressing the whole room, she only looks at you. “The wedding will take place in two months, just when winter should be in full swing. This time frame will give everyone the chance to get to know each other, it will give you time to familiarise yourself with Taoiseach Hall and its etiquettes and become an integral part of the Dolan household. The official invitations will be sent out in two weeks, but of course everyone important has already been notified to keep the date free.”

There is no question in her voice or mannerism, so all you can do is nod and try not to look too overwhelmed. You knew the rough time-frame, of course, your father told you most of this already. Two whole months in preparation are unusual when the engagement is already finalised, as you well know, but your father said it’s probably a northern custom and not to question it. The Duchess’ eyes assess you carefully. “Tonight is the welcoming banquette, where you will meet everyone significant from around here, and you will also need to go to the tailor as soon as possible.”

It takes you a second. “Oh, for the dress?”

The Duchess frowns. “Well, obviously. But also, and much more pressing, is the fact that you don’t have anything befitting the Frysk winter and we wouldn’t want you constantly sick now, would we?”

You blush at her insinuation of you living such a sheltered life, never leaving home far enough to realize how things might be different up north. You not packing the right kind of dresses also puts blame on your parents, who didn’t prepare you sufficiently, meaning they’re either too disorganised or ignorant. The worst part is, you can’t tell her how she’s wrong, because you would have to explain to her your family doesn’t have the financial means to afford you a brand new set of warmer clothes, at the moment.

Embarrassment flaming high on your cheeks you lower your eyes and stay silent.

      ++++

           The tailor notes down your measurements and hurries off immediately to start working on all the pieces, the Duchess ordered. Later that day you get a fur lined coat delivered to the rooms you’re staying in. It reaches down to your ankles and is made from a very light midnight-blue material, the weight of the clothing item stemming mostly from the silky-soft, silvery fur. The coat fits quite well with a grey dress that you brought with you, so that’s at least your outfit for tonight’s banquette decided.

You don’t see any members of House Dolan until that evening, when you finally get a chance to get to know your fiancé a little. Strangely enough you’re sat not simply next to your future husband, but you are positioned between the brothers. At home in Lausanne, this would be a scandal, especially with the two of them looking so similar. There would be no end to the talk about the seating and how it did not signal clearly which twin you were to marry and which one you weren’t. You decide against speaking up about it, though. Maybe it’s another northern custom you don’t know about in the south.

Instead you do your best to smile politely at everyone approaching your table and introducing themselves you the duchy’s heirs and you. Cameron doesn’t seem very interested in most of them, her attention wanes quickly until she resorts to nodding at people in recognition, maybe tipping her glass of wine to them and otherwise talking to the people sat next to her who seem to have lots of entertaining stories to tell her. You watch her laugh loudly, her hair loosened already, beautiful smile and perfect teeth on full display as she listens to one story after another, no care in the world – and you wish you could switch places with her. You’re not at ease in these kinds of situations and while the younger twin appears to have no problem finding something to talk about, Ethan hasn’t spoken to you since asking politely whether you liked your food.

“So, I heard you’re quite the soldier?”, you ask him when the latest suitor has retreated to their table.

Ethan nods, one corner of his mouth pulling into a lopsided smile. “I fancy myself quite apt at some military disciplines, you could say that, yeah. My father has always thought it very important for us to be educated in military strategies and all it entails. Kind of comes with being a member of this family, I guess.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard, ‘quite apt at some disciplines’ is a huge understatement”, you reply, relieved it appears you picked the right topic. “Supposedly you’re a brilliant strategist, a legendary leader, and an outstanding soldier.”

There’s a scoff from your right side and you turn around just quick enough to catch Grayson rolling his eyes. “Yeah, right. Half of that praise should go to me, since I am definitely the better soldier and at least as good a leader as you are. The strategist part … well, he’s alright at that. Better than me at least.”

“Is that true?”, you ask intrigued and turn back to Ethan, who shrugs.

“We pretty much do everything together. I’m not sure we know how to function without the other one, so he is kind of right. All the positions I’m holding, I share with Grayson. We make all the important decisions together, at least half of ‘my’ accomplishments are his, really.”

“That is so interesting. I didn’t hear it like that at home, but that’s probably because of the long way these stories travel. We don’t know much about the north in general, I’m not surprised some things get lost on their way to us”, you reply.

Their bond seems to be extraordinarily strong which makes those accomplishments all the more impressive in your eyes.

“We don’t know that much about the south, either”, Grayson admits shrugging and pours himself some wine. “There’s some names, of course, the usual rumours at court, and the cultural differences. But it’s all neither here nor there, to be honest.”

“What cultural differences do you mean?”, you question, carefully. This is thin ice you’re walking on. If you’re not careful, you might offend them or the other way around. Of course there are differences, Drottningen is a big kingdom, but you never heard of specific cultural traditions or customs of the north and you wonder what they might’ve heard the other way around. All you know are rumours about a slightly different way of living, but all in all it’s supposed to be the same culture.

“Well, your people are pretty stiff and set on etiquettes and tradition”, Grayson starts listing immediately. Ethan doesn’t say anything but the way he shifts subtly in his seat next to you, tells you he’s uncomfortable. He is probably aware of how this could turn very easily into an argument, or at the least into someone being offended. “You’re supposedly quite soft and spoilt, but I always thought that’s just the envy we harbour speaking, since you guys get to have nice weather and a warm sea instead of miserably low temperatures, dark days and icy lakes.” He frowns thoughtfully and there’s a pause. Ethan slowly starts eating again, judging the tense moment to be over, just when Grayson asks: “What stories do you guys have about us?”

He looks genuinely interested, his eyes open and wide. Grayson appears to have been able to hold on to his naiveté, as opposed to Ethan who seems much more serious and careful. That’s probably the advantage of being the younger sibling, you assume, comparing him to your Livia and Tatiana. They have a lightness to them, a carefreeness glowing behind their eyes that you have never known. It draws you in and you find it hard to look away. You want that, too.

“Not many”, you reply and avert your eyes with more difficulty than you like to admit. “They’re not really stories, either, more … they’re assumption more than anything.” You cut the meat on your plate into bitesize pieces and wait for an indication they’re interested in hearing more. Ethan doesn’t react but you can see Grayson nodding eagerly out of the corner of your eye. “Well, word down South is, Northerners are hardened and don’t know how to enjoy things – I suspect that’s similarly related to the climate like your assumption about us. You like to solve conflicts by fighting and violence, rather than diplomacy. And your culture is a strange juxtaposition of conservativism, seeing as your female descendants cannot inherit any land, property, or money, but at the same time you’re quite open, uhm, physically.”

Another pause, Ethan tensing up even more next to you, then Grayson snorts loudly into his cup. His eyes are all crinkly, betraying the smile dancing behind his twitching mouth. “’Physically’”, he repeats. “You mean sexually?”

You can’t help it, you blush deeply and hide behind your food. That word is not to be said out loud, just as the whole topic is supposed to be skirted around. Some friends of your mother have made it an art to talk about it, without ever saying anything even half as crass and forward as Grayson just did. You’re not sure if you’ve heard that word spoken out loud more than once in your life.

“I think she’s referring to the fact that we don’t teach our children to be ashamed of their bodies and desires”, Ethan jumps in, no trace of amusement in his voice. When you glance at him, he doesn’t appear to be laughing at your discomfort. His face is a perfectly neutral mask, with just the right amount of softness around his mouth to seem empathetic. Grayson is the complete opposite, he is actually giggling. You’re not sure which twin you find more frustrating.

“That is true, we have a … a less flexible sense of propriety”, you agree, trying to word your incomprehension of their culture, while not offending them too much.

“We don’t base our women’s worth on their sexual innocence, yes”, Grayson shrugs with a dry snort and there’s that word again. You feel your cheeks burning.

“Since women cannot own anything, anyhow, might as well give them physical freedom.” The words are mumbled, but they’re still out. Horrified by your own rudeness you tense up, staring blankly down at your half-eaten plate. You tried so hard to stay diplomatic and now you messed it up during the very first real conversation.

Grayson’s eyes are narrowed, but Ethan’s expression has remained neutral. He shrugs. “Women also get to choose whom they want to marry, if at all, since a family’s fate is not bound to their spouse. That balances things out a little, doesn’t it?”

You only nod and don’t look at Grayson for the rest of the night, but you can feel his eyes burning into your temple throughout the entirety of the banquet. Great. You brother-in-law already hates you. Way to go.

Part THREE: you get to know the Dolans a little better and there’s a mysterious guest.

Masterlist

[konvenient-pop]

Okay, so, here comes an annoying post about me being annoyed

With the topic of Jenny and Kai

To start this off right, I want to begin with by saying this is not a hate post at all. In actuality I am an EXO-L, and particularly a huge fan of Kai/Nini despite this blog not representing that. I have a lot of respect for him as a person first and foremost, as well as in his career as an idol. Although my respect isn't reflected with Jennie personally, as I deliberately refused to hop on the Blackpink bandwagon for the sake of preserving an original opinion after a few years of watching over their comebacks to make the decision of draining my life energy for another group, I still have respect for her as an idol. No matter what I will have at least a basic respect for the people choosing to enter this career, since we all know what that means longterm. Or at least most of us who have made the mistake(?) of spiraling into the darker side of this industry.

But at the risk of sounding pretentious or scaring people for no reason, returning to my original point, I don't know jack shit about Jennie. Well, beside basic surface level information or personality overviews from Weekly Idol or what have you. Again, all surface level. For now I am fine with that, she seems cool and honestly like a genuinely straightforward person in terms of setting up her goals. Or at least that's the picture I've crafted in my head after having listened to her on old G-Draon's tracks, as she was probably offered the oppertunity and had enough sense/drive to take it. So, okay, cool. She's cool, Jongin is Jongin and as a couple they are whatever.

Whatever being cool, cool being something I can go 'Oh?' at with raised eyebrows and move on with my damn life. Or as I failed to name it, basically sonething of minimal interest. Now, let's pause. So, I have no problem with this couple, so why the hell am I even bothering with this post? Well, that's because it's goddamn annoying to see all the 'I came here for JenKai' or otherwise judgmental comments on YouTube. To vent, why the hell can't people just be indifferent to things they have no knowledge over? Like, sure, you know one of the two and can say 'Well he/she is such and such trait, but I don't know about him/her', but why badmouth? This is my problem. This is what annoys me.

As far as I'm concerned at this point there's no point in judging these couples anymore, because again for the nth fucking time we do not actually know these people we dedicate our lives to. Sure, you can claim otherwise since we get years of interviews and yeaes of reality shows and years of behind the scenes videos and what the fuck ever, but let's be serious here. We aren't their friends, we aren't their family. What we get is what they chose to show. Of course most idols tend be genuine in terms of trying to show their honest personality or giving factual information, but at the end of the day it's just a video. One video, one clip, one moment in time that does not dictate their entire personality, struggle, interests, or life. That's something I often see people in this fandom forgetting and honestly at this stage of stanning cancel my subscription if we can't be logical about relationship reveals.

That's not to say most fans haven't been. In fact so far I've seen quite the opposite with mostly support, which is cool and something that I'm not use to but thank the gods for it. But there are still some you know what's here and there. They're really not that bothersome in terms of overall big picture whatever, since they are just words on my computer or phone I can click off of and will likely drown in a sea of support. Still, I just want to vent and ramble and maybe point out something that we all already knew for the sake of a friendly(-ish?) reminder. And for that to happen, I too will attempt honesty.

Being real, my first reaction was mostly worry and (negitively concentrated) confusion. Worry for fan reaction over actual puppy Nini. Confusion because how the hell did that happen and why would they get together? It took about half the day, but then I finally used my good sense to reroute my thoughts back to that very important fact. I don't know them. As people, or as a couple. I don't know their everday lives. I, nor you reading, have any right to judge if they are good for one another or not. No matter if opposites actually attract or similar people enter similar love, it is not up to me to decide for them based off what I think I know even if I do want them to be together. I have no right, nor actual authority to do so especially being just a fan. All in all, I am not in this relationship. Neither are you and this applies to you and every other fan out there.

So, basically that's just to say people enter relationships at their own will, as their own people most of the time with knowledge of who their partner is as a person, and it's never any of our business beyond the basic level of having an objevtive opinion that shouldn't affect them (*COUGH COUGH* sending hate messages or death threats *COUGH COUGH*) because we are lucky they even decide to share any of this shit with us. Does that make any sense? Don't know, don't care, I refuse to go reread and edit this just to sound nice. Why? Because I'm probably deleting this, as long as I don't forget. Why? Because I honestly just wanted to talk about how annoying it's going to be reading those 'Jennie get your man'/'Jennie's boyfriend this'/'Kai and Jenny that' and etc type comments over the next few months, but this ended up turning into a whole thing.

But yeah, I find that shit annoying. Mostly because it almost belittles idols, degrading them to only face value in a way because they are 'only' recognized for who they date. It is annoying with them and it was annoying with Bora and Feeldog. And I love these people too much to watch that. Though, of course, I know it is not done in offense. People just like couples and are excited love still exists in the world for their precious idols, I know. I get it. I just hate having to look at an idol and think of their current or past significant other. Feels like I'm doing them a disservice, espscially when they started out as just their original selves that I spent YEARS getting to know but suddently I don't feel like I know them anymore as just that. Their pure, individual selves.

I don't know. My bitch ass is dramatic like this and usually I would never speak on this because I want K-pop to just be good fun despite its dark secrets, questionable concepts, and unfavorable features, but sometimes certain shit just gets annoying. And then I feel the need to rant for months before ranting to non K-pop friends or making a whole post no one asked for. In any case, since we're enjoying a rare rant post specifically centered around couples in the industry, might as well give my opinion on the few funny thing that came out of this.

With the outing of Kai's newest relationship, I can finally say seeing my idols date doesn't feel weird anymore. Usually I would get weeks of a weird mourning type feeling, despite knowing and accepting I won't be with my idols romantically. Which, by the way, I actually prefer since I am gross thank you very much. But like, its just a feeling I usually have. Kind of mourning what can't be, kind of fearing how someone knows a part of them I don't. Yeah, I know it is gross and weird, but again to remibd you I spent years draining life energy just to feel like I 'know' and to feel 'close' to these people so logically its the emotional connection (and lowkey emotional dependence), which is why I always feel I can understand when fans say they get sad or cry once idols start marrying or whatever. But, thank the gods, lately said feelings have been coming and going quicker. I assume its due to most of my idols getting older now and my actually wanting them to find love and create their happy ever afters if possible, especially with most of them wanting to get married and actually wanting kids unlike myself.

Like recently, recently for me being years ago sorry, with both UKISS's Dongwo and Eli having to marry in secret and revealing their sons to the world helped really set those new type of support feels in place for me. Going back and knowing who wants what, I now want themselve to achieve these things. Be it love, a family, or simply something new and/or outside of their idol career (quick cringey magical support hwaiting to my not actual husband Bang Yongguk), I want for them to want these things and to continue wanting normal things. Why? Because they are, hopefully you guessed it, normal human beings. Outside of all the glits and glamour of being an idol, representing their home, and trying too damn hard for fans, they are just people.

As it always goes and as cheesy as it probably sounds by now, just people like you and me. People who want things and feel they need to achieve or have certain things to live a fulfilled life or feel accomplished in life before they die. So, yeah, there ya go. My support got some type of Pokemon upgrade ('Idol's Dreams' I chose you?) and I am annoyed because I can't stop my brain from being reminded of other people in the face of my idols. Rip individuality I guess, until that dies down. Anyway, back to your scrolling. I don't know why this ended being so long.

P.S.: As for the rest of those few funny things (1) I am still salty over the treatment and reaction of Baekhyun/Taehyeon and Kai/Krystal by fans (also dramatic and emotionally leave Krystal alone), (2) Hyuna/E'Dawn, despite being great and hopefully a love revolution that will be real I do think they also handled that situation poorly as far as business goes but I do love and support both in case anyone cared, (3) quick claps for the recent emotional growth of K-pop fans tbh as far as relstionships so far, and (4) for whatevet reason I wasn't expecting people to drag my girl Krystal into this. Usually I'm on top of my game with guessing and predicting, but bless her for the next few (hopefully just) weeks. Being the ex is always annoying as fuck.

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

Roy/Tailtiu C-S Support

Written by @marxofpharae

C SUPPORT

Roy: Tailtiu, are you alright? You look like if something is troubling you.

Tailtiu: …

Roy: Tailtiu? Did something happen?

Tailtiu: Oh! Hey, Roy! Sorry I didn’t notice you there. Don’t worry it’s nothing. I’m alright now.

Roy: Oh. Very well… Forgive me if I am being a little intrusive. Back in Elibe, I commanded the army of the Lycian League, and I checked up on some of the troops that appeared to be troubled.

Tailtiu: I see. Thank you for that! I really appreciate it!

Roy: No problem. If there is anything you need, don’t hesitate to call for me.

Tailtiu: I’ll keep that in mind! You know, you remind me of Sigurd from my world.

Roy: Oh? Would you mind telling me about him?

Tailtiu: Well, where to start… I guess I can begin from when I met him in Agustria…

[Roy and Tailtiu have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

Roy: Thank you for sharing a bit of insight regarding Lord Sigurd a few days ago with me, Tailtiu. I see that he is a very respected man among his men. In a way, I feel like a few of his ways of leading I can relate to, despite the fact I am as green as they get when it comes to commanders.

Tailtiu: Aw it’s nothing! And you have to believe it when I say you two are pretty similar, especially regarding your views on empathy towards your men!

Roy: Indeed! I did have one unanswered question though: Why did you go quiet when you started talking about when Sigurd was approaching Castle Velthomer and the events following?

Tailtiu: …

Roy: Oh… forgive me if it is a sensitive subject. I am unfamiliar with these events, so I don’t know how to go through in regards to asking about them.

Tailtiu: … It’s not your fault Roy. It’s just that… I’m curious… Why are you so intent on knowing on why I feel down?

Roy: Well, I knew a princess back in my home land of Elibe acting really down when she thought of her brother while traveling with my army.

Tailtiu: Though why would she feel as down as I did? Who was her brother exactly?

Roy: He was the king of the very nation my army of the Lycian League was fighting against. She did not agree with her brother Zephiel’s ways of subjugating an entire continent for his ideals. Thus, she escaped with her aide Ellen, and eventually joined the Lycian League army.

Tailtiu: …

Roy: Every so often, I would see her sometimes with a very sad look on her face, and from the few times I got to talk to her about it, she eventually told me that she feels sad that her own kin was attempting to rule using tactics of conquest and oppression

Tailtiu: Ah… Thank you, Roy! I do appreciate you coming to check on me. You made feel a little better now!

Roy: That’s the spirit. I may not be very adept at this kind of talk, but I will do what I can. And please, if you are willing to share what’s been on your mind, I will be willing to listen

Tailtiu: Yeah, I know. I’ll let you know whenever I feel like telling you. In the meantime, do you want to have a little fun for a bit?

Roy: I do have a bit of free time at the moment, so sure. What do you have in mind?

[Roy and Tailtiu have reached support rank B.]

A SUPPORT

Tailtiu: I really hope Roy isn’t too wrapped up in spending time understanding my pains and having fun with me. I do like the time I spend with him, but I don’t want him to try and go out of his way to counsel and comfort me

Roy: Did you call for me, Tailtiu?

Tailtiu: Oh! Roy! Don’t sneak up on me like that!

Roy: Hehe. Sorry. I just overheard you say my name, and I thought you wanted to talk to me about what is on your mind lately.

Tailtiu: Well… I feel ready to tell you now.

Roy: Very well. Like I said, I am all ears.  

Tailtiu: Ok…  You see, I come from House Freege. My dad, Reptor, sided with the man who eventually had Sigurd put to death… I always felt like those who recognized me would judge me based on where I come from and not for who I am. In a way, I feel ashamed that I am from the same house that eventually became full supporters of the enemy.

Roy: … I see. In a way, this does actually remind me a bit of Guinevere’s situation. And considering that Sigurd himself is here in Askr, I understand your shame towards yourself. However, wouldn’t Sigurd rather prefer to know you based on who you are and who you could become instead of where you come from?

Tailtiu: Well… yeah, I think so…

Roy: Then, putting it that way, he wouldn’t have a problem looking past the fact you are from House Freege. Believe me when I say this, I know Guinevere went through the same thing when she first joined the Lycian League army. The soldiers didn’t know whether to trust the sister of King Zephiel of Bern. However, I put my faith in her from the beginning, and with the aid of the Lycian League, we were able to end the war with Bern and have her become the adored and respected queen her people were waiting for.

Tailtiu: Wow! I didn’t expect that to happen. You must’ve been a great help in making her look like a queen people wanted to be lead by.

Roy: I really didn’t do much myself. I just helped finish the conflict that with its end, would help pave the way for a new era in Bern as well as the rest of Elibe.

Tailtiu: …

Roy: What is it, Tailtiu? Did I say something that offended you?

Tailtiu: Nope! You don’t give yourself that much credit when you say you did little to help out back in your realm. You are a really good person Roy. The fact that you are willing to help others and support them, even if they have blood relatives on the opposite side of war, it’s just one of the many things that I like about you!

Roy *blushing* Well, um… Thank you, Tailtiu. I appreciate the compliments, though I am just a rookie in these things…

Tailtiu: Ah, lighten up, will you? It’s what you did to me just now, so I don’t mind giving you a confidence booster when you are unsure of yourself!

Roy: *chuckles* Thank you, Tailtiu. I think have a great dynamic together, don’t you think?

Tailtiu: My thoughts exactly!

[Roy and Tailtiu have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT

Tailtiu: Hey Roy, what are you planning to do in the future whenever you go to Elibe again?

Roy: Well, there is still much to do. Elibe stills needs to heal after the conflict with Bern. I think I’ll most likely help out back in my home of Pharae. I was just appointed the Marquess before being summoned here. What about you?

Tailtiu: Well… I don’t know… I wouldn’t go back to Freege, and I never really had a true home besides Sigurd’s army. There was Claude, but I feel like the feelings towards him weren’t really in the right place…

Roy: Do you mind if I give a suggestion?

Tailtiu: Sure let’s hear it!

Roy: Why not travel with me to back to my home in Pharae?

Tailtiu: What?! Where did this come from?

Roy: Well, I did notice you were interested in Elibe from our small talks after the last time we spent time together. Perhaps you would like to see it with your own eyes together with me.

Tailtiu: … *sniff*

Roy: Huh?! Why are you crying? I hope I didn’t make you-

Tailtiu: … *sniff* hehe. You didn’t offend me in any way Roy. Quite the opposite really, you proven to me just now that the feelings I had for a certain somebody are perfectly justified now.

Roy: … What do you mean?

Tailtiu: *chuckles* silly do I have to spell it out for you? I like you a lot. So much in fact, I love you!

Roy: Wha-?! … Well I don’t know what to say…

Tailtiu:  Well you do have two responses ahead of you… One has “don’t” and the other “do”. I think even you know what I mean.

Roy: … Yes. I believe I do. I wasn’t sure what these feelings were as we spent more and more time together, but now I think I can say I love you too…

Tailtiu: Roy… you’re making me blush… silly boy!

Roy: *blushing* I didn’t mean t-

Tialtiu: *chuckles* I know I know. So now what do you want to do? I am very interested in going to Elibe now with you.

Roy: Well, when our time here is over, we can go together. As a couple in arms. What do you say?

Tailtiu: I think that’s a great idea! I’m all for it!

Roy: Very well. Until then, I’ll keep you safe no matter what!

[Roy and Tailtiu have reached support rank S.]