#Personal Gnosis

[lailoken]

Just a gentle reminder that there is a difference between Religious Theory based on historical research/reconstruction and Peronal Gnosis based on direct spiritual experience/intervention. I'm not trying to say one is better or more valid than the other—and I'm aware that there can be a certain degree of overlap—but all too often I see people speaking about Religious Reconstruction and Personal Gnosis like they're the exact same thing, when they're really not. And in my opinion, equating the natures of the two things diminishes the value of both.

[creature-wizard]

I don't know if I just haven't encountered it yet, but I haven't really seen anyone talking about or acknowledging something that's neither Unverified Personal Gnosis or Shared Personal Gnosis, but rather a third thing: Personal Group Gnosis.

PGG emerges from a small group of people having similar experiences to each other, which may or may not resemble anything that people outside of the group are experiencing.

This isn't inherently a bad thing. But among those who lack critical thinking skills, it can lead to some real trouble if they conclude that their similar experiences means that they're uncovering an actual objective truth, regardless of whether it's congruent with anything anyone outside of the group is experiencing.

One thing that many people fail to account for is the fact that they and their group generally share many of the same preconceptions and biases. For example, a group of younger Wiccans are very likely to believe in now-debunked ideas such as the great goddess hypothesis and the witch cult hypothesis. They'll believe in the existence of pagan gods, but they'll probably have a Christian-influenced understanding of divinity and morality, with little to no comprehension of the role that animism played in the development of pre-Christian traditions, nor with any real appreciation for how different values influenced the stories that people told about gods and other spirits.

They might even be exposed to similar media, which gives them all similar ideas about gods, spirits, and history. Even if they don't directly engage with the most popular media, it can still reach them through second or third hand exposure.

They're also likely reading the same spiritual, occult, and esoteric writers; or at least, reading people who have very similar ideas to one another.

And finally, since they're most likely friends and therefore trust each other, they are naturally biased toward accepting each other's experiences as valid, and working them into their own mental maps of the spiritual or metaphysical world.

In short, they're all primed to have very similar experiences to each other.

Without awareness that exposure to similar ideas can influence similar mystical experiences, it's very easy for a small group like this to generate a sort of shared map of reality that they feel justified in regarding as absolutely, objectively true.

It's at this point that people begin to feel confident telling you that if you just talked to your gods about what they're claiming, your gods would absolutely confirm them to be true. And if they don't, you were never really talking to those gods.

Having one's entire internal map of reality dictated by Personal Group Gnosis can be incredibly dangerous. It alienates you from the rest of the world by making you feel as if the only people you can trust are those who agree with your PGG. It can make you see outsiders as spiritually inferior, especially if they disagree with you outright. It can even encourage conspiracy thinking, because attributing what outsiders believe (or apparently believe) to the actions of a malicious conspiracy is a very common rationalization.

In other words, this is how you get a cult.

Now, a lot of people won't recognize it as a cult (and some will vehemently deny it's a cult) because it might not have a clear leader (though there's almost certainly a small number of people who have the most influence), and it probably doesn't have a financial goal. However, the destructive capacities of small groups of people living in their own reality cannot be denied. Members who don't go along with the group's accepted model of reality are often treated harshly, and are frequently targets for harassment. They may say that if you don't like it you can just leave, but let's be real, that's no simple matter if you believe that these are the only people with a real grip on reality, or if these people are basically your only friends, or even just your only friends who share your spiritual beliefs.

(If you're in this kind of situation? My advice is to start making more friends outside of this group. You don't have to cut yourself off from this group cold turkey; you can just start hanging out with other people more.)

Now, I'd like to emphasize that none of this is to say that PGG is inherently bad; I am only pointing out that it can be incredibly dangerous for people who lack knowledge, perspective, and critical thinking skills. Additionally, a group where there's a lot of this going on can be very dangerous for those who desperately just want to belong and get along, and push themselves to adopt their groups popular beliefs for fear of consequences.

Just like a single person's UPG doesn't dictate reality for everyone, neither does a single group's gnosis. PGG isn't inherently any better or more "correct" than UPG.

[waywardsou2]

This is all based on personal opinion and my powers of deduction based on real life turtle species :) Turtles are awesome :D

1987:

Leo - Map

Raph - Map

Donnie - Map

Mikey - Map

2003

Leo - Chinese striped neck

Raph - Chinese striped neck

Donnie - Chinese striped neck

Mikey - Chinese striped neck

2012

Leo - Diamond Back turtle

Raph - Diamond Back turtle

Donnie - Diamond Back turtle

Mikey - Diamond Back turtle

2014/2016:

Leo - red eared slider

Raph - red eared slider

Donnie - red eared slider

Mikey - red eared slider

2018:

Leo - red eared slider

Raph - Snapping turtle

Donnie - soft shell turtle

Mikey - box turtle

2023:

Leo - Eastern Mud

Raph - Eastern Mud

Donnie - Eastern Mud

Mikey - Eastern Mud

[witch-is-cauldron]

Working with the Morrigan!

I work with the Phantom Queen every day, however I only decided to post on it today.

Today we pulled some cards and she gave me some advice regarding my personal matters. I’ve been struggling to let go of some issues so we decided to confront it today. we meditated and she wanted me to focus on different parts of my body. specifically the back and my arms. I believe it was like magical, kinda like “fix your back to stand strong.” “use your arms to guard yourself.” Kinda deal.

She’s been instigating me to destroy my old mindset and pour myself into this new era. So i got two glasses, one filled with water and the other empty. The idea is that the two cups represent my toxic and old mindset, and the one i need to transfer to. The water being in the former glass represents my mind, emotions and convictions.

I laid out the Judgement card, The hanged man and Ace of cups along with my amazzonite. As I poured the water into the new era glass, I visualized myself “transferring” my convictions to this new era; pressed the cup to my lips and drank it slowly, allowing these intentions to become a part of me.

The Morrigan stated it was creatively done and a good idea but I need to make sure I dont draw myself at an empasse and stay stuck. Letting this point of mental poverty and strife leave.

As thanks I prayed at her altar, I think i might make some more food or artwork for her. what do you think?

[ofsappho]

People who are shocked by Aphrodite’s war epithets because she’s a goddess of love always amuses me because.

When have you ever known love to be peaceful? Love itself a fucking battleground. Love starts and ends wars. You don’t spend your life fighting and kicking and screaming unless you love it.

[norcalbruja]

Met another potential anito, and the avengers have assembled for... vengeance?

I do not know what the fuck keeps happening with my attempts to contact other Filipinos, but it's happening again.

My friend's friend who I contacted for spiritual help just seems to keep losing track of me for WEEKS at a time. I've been trying to schedule a consultation and recently asked her if she was busy and I should talk to someone else, but she just said "thank you for being patient with me," so... I don't actually know if she's busy.

I don't want to keep hounding her every week for a CONSULT before I can actually get help, so I asked her now if it's easier to just pay her a bit for the phone consultation, and then I'll pay her more for a proper spiritual session, when we actually figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

So I've been dealing with pest issues in the apartment, and this is REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING, considering my landlords raised the rent when all they did was fix the counters and give the apartment building a shitty boring paint-job to make the outside "look nicer."

--

Meanwhile, Haik Number Four has constantly been remarking on how miserable I am and he's said something a couple of times like, "This is evil, what people have done to you."

So I was like, "Haik, technically nobody's done anything to me. I email or message folks in the art business for help and most people just don't answer. Neither do most of the anito." And he went, "Doing nothing IS evil! You specifically ask people for help, but they can't even tell you 'I'm sorry, but we don't have time!' They leave you floating around for weeks with no answer!"

Meanwhile, Tatay the ancestral spirit says Haik Number Four is just "being dramatic," but... yeah, Haik obviously doesn't agree with that.

But late one night, Tony Stark stepped into my spiritual "room" and he was like, "God, your life is a mess. It shouldn't have taken you ten fucking years to get your art off the ground! Your friends are doing okay, but you're just stuck in a day-job and living with your mom! You're AT LEAST as talented as the Fifty Shades of Grey author who filed the copyrighted parts off her FANFICTION, but you can't even get your own place, or recognition from RICH people!"

So I was like, "Yes, Tony, I know. You helped me with my laptop, at least. I just need... more help, unfortunately."

So he said, "And that's why I'm here, Cyborg. To avenge those ten fucking years."

And I'm just thinking, 'Damn, Tony, that's class-traitor AND Green Goblin talk."

--

So a few days ago, Haik Number 4 brought me to this stone boulder/pillar thing, and it turned into a handsome Filipino guy, Who Calls Himself Dumakulem, the Tagalog mountain-god. His wife Anagolay also showed up and said hello.

Tealdeer, it ended the same way it ends with other spirits who say they want to help, but I'm just tired of hearing it. I don't want to get my hopes up and end up stuck in this same shitty apartment for another three years.

Behind the read-more button for, like... desperate screaming. And Eric Draven being brutally honest about my fears of "dying and THEN having people suddenly pay attention to my work, as if I haven't been begging people to read it constantly while I was alive."

--

So I tried to be polite with Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay, but soon they started talking about how my situation is so alarming again.

I knew they were going to say they wanted to "help" or something, so I told them, "NO. DON'T SAY IT. PLEASE. I can tolerate spirits calling themselves the anito, but don't fucking tell me you want to help. Nobody ever does that! They feel bad for me, they say my life sounds boring and unfulfilled, but nothing changes anyway. My heart hurts all the time. I don't want to hear you'll help if you can't ACTUALLY HELP ME. Get me a briefcase full of money, or an art career where I can travel and hang out with people, just--JUST GIVE ME MY OWN FUCKING LIFE! IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME, JUST FUCKING DO IT!!! CHANGE ONE OF THE MANY SHITTY THINGS IN MY LIFE SO I CAN BE A BIT LESS MISERABLE! AND IF YOU CAN'T HELP ME YOURSELF, FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN! PLEASE!!!"

Lola Buwaya was, um... irritated at Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay again. But they unfortunately switched to Tagalog, so now I've just got the half-understood gist of Lola ranting. She said something like, "Hayop siya na! Tony Stark heard her before you did! If you won't treat her like a person, don't be upset when she doesn't treat you like gods! You left her with a squid for years, and a sailing-god was the only one to answer her! But now you don't want to hear unkind words?! Do you want her to be a person again?! Then you must act like gods, and give her what she asks!"

Meanwhile, Spirit-Me just devolved into flailing and screaming "LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! LET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!!! PLEASE!!!! I SWEAR I'LL PAY YOU BACK IF SOMEONE HELPS ME!!!! JUST LETTTTTTTT MEEEEEEE OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

As noted with Hera, I've lost my shit and just started "screaming to anyone who's listening" in my meditations before, but I really don't like if that happens in "public," with SPIRITS around (unless they're close spirits, like the Water-Spirit or Dionysus).

Unfortunately, Spirit-Me started coughing up blood again, and THAT was obviously not good.

So various spirits heard Spirit-Me and were trying to calm me down (again), ranging from Dionysus, to Tony Stark, to Tatay.

Eric Draven stepped in and he was like, "You know what I'm thinking about this mess with her people's gods? That it's just an excuse for people to wring their hands. None of you actually want to get off your ass and fucking help her."

And Tatay said, "Naku! The dead man again! And Haik is here--is he not one of the anito?!"

Eric told him, "You really think a squid and a sailing god can help her so much with art? Or buying a house? She's not afraid she's going to die: She's afraid she'll die AND THEN people will finally read her stuff, like she begged them to for years. They'll talk about how much POTENTIAL it had, and 'all the things she could have done,' and they'll pretend she wasn't ready to jump in and do it.

"They'll see her social-media and her blog, where her baking posts get more likes than her art posts, and then they'll feel guilty about never clicking the Share button or leaving a comment. It won't help her OR them at that point. So none of you should bother calming her down anymore. Just let her scream and bleed and wander the forest like an orphaned girl. If you won't help, that's okay--just let her find someone she can pawn her soul off to, or some shit. How much money is a soul worth? "

So the room just went DEAD silent and I think it actually got cold for a bit. Eric Draven doesn't fucking play around with... warnings about a needlessly wasted life???

--

So regarding Lola's rant to Possible-Dumakulem and Possible-Anagolay: 'Hayop ka' is normally a Tagalog insult and literally translates to "you're a beast/wild-animal." It's mostly used for when people aren't acting right. IE, if you're being rude or obnoxious, someone's gonna yell at you, "hayop ka!"

It's often used in tandem with "walang hiya" (shameless / you have no shame) or "walang utang na loob" (no responsibility / you're being ungrateful). In English, it would be something like "were you raised in a barn?!" or "you're running wild / you've turned feral," but as I understand it, 'hayop ka' has a REALLY distinct undertone of 'you have lost your humanity/civilization' as opposed to the English analogs mostly meaning 'you have no manners/respect."

So 'Hayop siya na' means "she's become an animal now," but Lola's basically saying that the anito's lack-of-action/support turned me spiritually "feral," so the unspoken part is "she's become an animal BECAUSE OF YOU." And now she thinks they're just swooping in and thinking/hoping that I have JUST enough humanity left to 'treat them like gods," despite running around for so long with snakes, crocodiles, and giant squid.

Honestly, there has been a constant theme in my spiritual shittiness regarding "what makes you human?" or "how much damage/neglect can a soul take?" and then there's the issues of "well, you're doing the same things that everyone else is. You're literally not doing anything unusual. But since you never got anywhere with it, now people keep thinking you're crazy and talking to yourself (or to 'spirits pretending to be gods'), but the actual issue seems to be that you have incredibly bad luck."

Like, a lot of spirits are consistent about how it should never have taken TEN YEARS for me to get my projects off the ground, because with all the stuff I write about the anito, SOMEONE should have stepped in and helped me out (besides a giant squid who is God-LEVEL in strength, but he can't actually grant wishes), and it's cruel/unnecessary/evil for me to basically keep doing this on my own.

I have a theater script called "Takotsubo: The Story of A Superhero" that I've been trying to get off the ground. It's a deconstruction of the 'superhero' genre that heavily involves "when white people suit up and start taking on criminals, they're heroes, but when Black and Brown people do it, they're gangsters/vigilantes."

Everyone I've asked about it tends to say, "well, this sounds really cool! But it's also gonna be expensive and you're an unpublished writer, so not many people will risk this for you," and I was like... "Well... Guess I have to win the lottery or find a rich comic fan, then?"

I was thinking of converting the script to an actual comic series after I finish it. Because as expensive as relearning how to draw is, or finding an artist to pay for that, drawings don't need fight training or insurance for medical bills.

And like... whenever I look at that group of documents and grumble about how I need to practice drawing again, the spirits are upset that I'm basically thinking of "starting over" and doing this by myself... as I've done with my PROSE works, and we all know that hasn't gone anywhere, either.

[daimonpriestess]

Daemons and Aspects

So I have a new theory about aspects.

I used to think that aspects & masks they wore (different personalities) were one & the same. Now I'm thinking those aspects, while once a part of them, are now their own entities going by either the same name (like Beezlebub), a different one or another form all together.

For example their being a fallen angel Lucifer "The Devil" aka Prince of Hell, The Angel Samuel, A Roman Lucifer, Hindu Version and Enki ect.

They are all separate, with different memories, looks & even personalities. The essence, energy & possible domains are the same but that is all.

Which is why we get so many separate versions of their story & many different personal gnosis when they work with us.

They may not even know or remember one another depending on who the original being is. Though they may still receive one another's memories.

A lot like past lives. I view my past selves now as separate from me. I only feel connected to Liliana because My Guardian Demons are, although she feels more familiar to me now then my human self.

I feel like that is how they reach so many at once, not because they can time jump, though some may, But because they took parts of their essence or something alchemical and separated it.

Created it into another being as a way to well get things done quicker, to be in more than one place, with more than one person romantically as well. (Not that polyamory isn't still valid.)

Some became like gods, others were or are only temporary, Like Az making an aspect of himself to protect me.

Doesn't mean it's any less real, just that it is different, personal & your experience with them is wholy yours and that may be why.

[learnorneverrealize1888]

I think I know why I start hallucinating skating.. skating is another form of meditation so I can see how being in the flow state will cause hallucinations if you’re moving quickly in 1 or multiple directions constantly.

[kallisto-aglaia]

Do you believe Jesus and Dionysus are the same person? I'm just curious! :)

No... It's a little difficult to explain, because there is so much nuance involved when it comes to syncretism and how these things work. I'll try to explain this in 4 pieces.

1.) How syncretism functions in my personal practice:

Historically, syncretism is the merging, synchronizing, and meshing of different religious systems, cultures, or schools of thought. We have a lot of examples to play with here, such as Zevs/Iuppiter, Aphroditê/Venus, Aphroditê/Isis, Artemis/Bastet, Apollôn/Hêlios, etc etc.

Syncretism can be as simple as seeing two deities or concepts being very similar or only having one thing in common and merging them together to create a unique method of worship. I view syncretism in the same way that I view epithets and titles, in that using them specifies the type of interaction I'm looking for between certain figures.

2.) How I view Dionysôs

Most people think of Dionysôs exclusively as a God of wine and revelry, but I almost solely focus on His aspects of spirit liberation, frenzy, trance, and overall chthonic leaning. Dionysôs is the grey area between spirit and flesh, and as such he is looked to most in order to appease spirits when they are acting out.

3.) How I view Jesus

When people think of Jesus they think of a Christian Son of God who is purely Holy and all of these things. Yet, I tend to look at Jesus as both a prophet and historical figure--not the Son of God. I do believe in his miracles, and I think Jesus' messages were important. But in context to Dionysôs-Jesus syncretisms, I'm looking mostly at the dark aspects of Jesus. The crucifixion, the bearing of sin, and the battle of life and death that ended in his resurrection. In this aspect, Jesus is also a liberator and functions similarly to Dionysôs' chthonic aspects. Defying death and rising again etc etc.

4.) The syncretism of Dionysôs-Jesus

So when you mesh these two together, you get this very unique figure that centers itself on its care for humanity and spiritual freedom. It flavors the praxis in a very specific way. When I interact with Dionysôs-Jesus, the worship is very solemn and quiet. It's very reflective on death and the process of it. It focuses a lot on the mysteries of death and resurrection/Rebirth.

Sooo,, TLDR:

Dionysôs and Jesus are two entirely separate beings that I piece together to form a unique practical figure that I use in my mystery-based praxis to tackle the mysteries of death, Rebirth, resurrection, and so on and so forth.

[vacantwoodsenthusiast]

"God" for I have no other name to call them, is not like the Christian God of the Bible. They are not a man in the sky. My God who I am devoted to is the embodiment of the divine love. As in the love a tree has for the earth and the vultures love the carcass. Love that is dirty and messy and violent and voracious. This is not biblical sterile love. My God's goal is to devour and be devoured. Love as an act of violence. Love as consumption. Divine androgynous love. Creator of the King under the Hill and the venusian Lady of the Primordial Waters. The Bacchus/Christian like sacrificed God, consumed by their devotees to taste and worship divinity at its more primal and personal.

[satanachia666]

“The more you align with the powers and mysteries of darkness, the better you’ll be at manifestation.” - Satan 🖤

(Channeled Message)

[lailoken]

is it okay to ask you if there is any way you divide or classify the fae?

Classifying the Others in this way is notoriously difficult to do with any degree of satisfaction, and I have taken up multiple viewpoints throughout the course of my life. However, there is one murky outline of sorts which has been continually reinforced by my personal gnosis over the past couple of years. After taking some time to ponder the matter, I've decided to share it here. However, some of this is contigent on my understanding of the realms and how they "touch" each other, so it may be worth reading this post where I discuss the "layers" of the Otherworld.

Based on my experiences of working with the Gloaming Ones, there are six broad "clades" or "courts" that they seem to generally fall into. These are not "species" or anything of the sort, but instead, represent larger archetpyal and behavioral patterns that I've observed in the course of my work with the Gloaming. These include:

The Elemental Court — These are ecological spirits of the Gloaming, often viewed as spirits of nature. As I understand it, these spirits are, indeed, Fae, but they reside almost entirely in the Upper Realm of the Otherworld (sometimes known as the Astral Plane) where they lay "just beneath the skin" of physical reality as we understand it. While they remain "rooted" to the Otherworld, they touch our plane directly, where they are manifested physically as forces and organisms of nature. Due to these wights having "one foot in this world and one foot in the other", as it were, they are known for their propensity to help usher the living between the physical plane and the planes of the Otherworld.

The Ravening Court — This is an especially broad Court, which includes all manner of "goblin" wights of the Gloaming—ranging from benevolent house spirits, to spirits of haunting, to spirits known for their specifically bloodthirsty behavior. As I understand it, these spirits hail from the "Inner Realm" of the Otherworld, but are known to weave back and forth through the Inner and Upper realms, untethered, and are the most likely after Elementals to breach the physical plane and seek out people—whether for Compact or for Haunting.

The Lambent Court — This clade essentially encompasses the beings known best as Elves—explicitly humanoid spirits of great age and power, who reside within the Inner Realm of the Otherworld, also known as Elphame. While they make their homes in the Inner Realm, they posess a certain capacity for "opening the way" to both the Upper and Lower Realms. They're known to contact and affect our physical plane as well, though, it's rare for them to "stay" here long.

The Chasmic Court — The spirits of this court are tied intimately to the workings of death. Most are psychopompic in nature (Soul Reapers and Conductors of Katabasis), though among them are also "Death-Watchers" (Harbingers of coming death), and "Corpse-Eaters" (entities drawn to the mortific energy created/left behind by the dying). While these spirits move with ease through all the realms, they remain fundamentally tied to the "Lower Realm"of the Otherworld where they make their home (known more prominently as the Underworld).

The Elder Court — These are beings often considered as "minor deities", or as Faerie Monarchs, and they represent the first generation of entities born of the Gods. These wights span all realms simultaneously and, while they have continuous "access" to the physical plane, they rarely make themselves known to individuals.

The Deific Court — Somewhat self-explanatorily, this refers to the Gods of the Gloaming. What distinguishes these beings in particular is difficult to pin down exactly, though, they are extremely old, immensely powerful, and they seem to represent the progenitors of most other Gloaming Spirits. What's more, the Gods appear to span all realms at once—just as their first generation of children do —but they also seem to exist "outside" of the realms altogether, to some degree.

As I said, this is based entirely on my personal experiences, and really, the Gloaming Folk are simply too mysterious and manifold to truly and thoroughly codify, but this rough outline has proved useful to me.

[knightofhylia]

Super Blue Moon water!

I haven't made any holy water in a long time, but this moon is very special. The water is just filtered tap water with a pinch of salt. Underneath the bottle I put a sigil for moon water (crescent moon with waves) in satin spar chalk with a circle around it as well. I gathered all my moon stones and some quartz and surrounded it to charge everything (it has been a LOOOONG time since my crystals were charged). I prayed over it with the intent that it brings good luck and 'things that could only happen once in a blue moon'.

I haven't used it, but I have to say next morning my neighbor had a garage sale that I got a TON of items for super cheap, mostly importantly we got a storage bench we've been wanting for a while and a fire burning pen for a DOLLAR! Call me crazy but my gods are so good to me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 I am so grateful for these opportunities they have given me!! Klatro tmikh Puka 🩷🫶

[rainbeausworld]

Cernunnos: The Good Liar

And now that I've probably offended a few people with my snazzy new epithet for the guy, it's time for me to try to spill some UPG all over this page.

Cernunnos is very special to me; he was the first deity to reach out to me and he's been a central point of my practice for as long as I've been active in it (there've been a few accidental hiatuses). He's introduced me to my second most important deity, the Horned Serpent, and through that, pointed me down the path I now currently walk.

I think, at least in GaulPol, he's pretty well known as a liminal deity, but that one has never quite sat perfectly for me. I think as I present my notes of my UPG, it'll become clear that Cernunnos as I understand him is more of a "union of opposites" than a "between all things" - something I definitely wouldn't have been able to enunciate not long ago.

First I remember not really having a clear way to describe him beyond "Druid, I think", which would at first glance look like a liminal role if it weren't for the fact I couldn't quite square that away in my head. And then I gave him a couple epithets, "Keeper of Secrets" and "Provider of Ecstacy" (both of these were written back to back, in the same prayer, and I still stand by them).

Then I began using the title "Songmaster(s)" for the three main deities on the interior of the Gundestrup Cauldron - Cernunnos, Taranis/the wheel god, and the Mother-Queen - and I began to look at music as a way for the gods to create, not just stories but create reality itself.

The next major one I remember is writing a prayer and sharing it with a Discord community October 31st 2022:

Songmaster, First Dancer

Truth is your friend and secrets are your trade

Madness, your tool, peace, your accomplishment

Your quiet patience is unshakeable, and your quick action is keen

And recently, as I was singing and trying to reflect on his relationship with the Mother-Queen, I found myself scribbling down some notes from a song I didn't fully intend to sing, addressed to him (quotes are exact lines):

"she shines on you, and you grow"

Shadow, child of sun; darkness, friend of light

"embrace light, embrace night all the more"

I heavily associate the Mother-Queen with the sun, light, and fire, and have had the thought "her light touches all things" in my head for a minute, and Cernunnos I associate with a dark, shadowy forest because of a couple of intense experiences, so the poetic play there was pretty obvious, but it took me a bit to start piecing out what this is all supposed to mean. One friend pointed out that, as we learn, as truth is illuminated to us, it also reveals how deeply our ignorance runs. Which I definitely think is a solid read, but for me personally, for my relationship with him specifically, I think it's deeper than that.

I've also come to believe that the interior panels of the Gundestrup Cauldron are a loose guide of what kind of religious life was expected of the practitioners, so I take it as a loose guide for me. And honestly, going into detail is going to require probably multiple series, but for now suffice it to say that I believe that, when we die, some of those people will be selected to try and earn a kind of divine status. I believe Cernunnos' primary role as depicted on the Gundestrup Cauldron is in teaching harmony between individuals and possibly between the natural world. I also interpret the Horned Serpent as the guide for those who've been chosen to try their hand at earning divinity. So in this context, Cernunnos is the teacher and the Horned Serpent a kind of deliverer.

Okay, that's all well and good, but what does that have to do with the rest of this rant? I've come to the conclusion that, if the Mother-Queen reveals, then Cernunnos' role to her is that he obfuscates. That he purposefully obfuscates certain truths in order that his devotee can learn. I think it's because there are certain lessons that can't really be told - not if you plan on these lessons actually sticking. Wisdom is earned, not given.

Hence the new epithet, "The Good Liar" - he who obfuscates things behind silence or confusing ideas that his student might find truth on their own accord, and come to a new and better place, perhaps even arming his devotees with the skills to move through whatever trials may await us after death.

[witch-is-cauldron]

Communing with Lady Hekate!

So it was a little late at night when I’m posting this. But Im naturally a night owl of some kind.

Anyways. We talked about some personal issues and she was very direct with her responses and the solution she saw fit for the situation.

After a bit more chit chat and discerning my mundane issues I asked if we could meditate together. She said yes, since I just started working with her and this would be a new experience to see what its like in the “mindscape”, if you will.

I took a few breaths and fell…or it felt like falling. It started off in a dark forest where the skies were a dark blue that faded into purple, black dirt and dead trees. I descended into this valley of death and silence and walked for a few minutes till I saw a golden glow. It was Lady Hekate with a Torch. She wore a chiton with no shoes and her hair was long and dark. Her face was as blue as the sky. We walked together until we reached this little square of land, It was lush and filled with vines and all kinds of plants, climbing up to a stone throne.

She urged me to try and sit on it so i did. When i finally made it to the top and gazed before the landscape. I realized the trees weren’t as barren and lifeless as I thought. The chair started fall backwards and I felt a painful fear. I breathed and closed my eyes as I let the throne naturally come back to the correct angle.

I realized Lady Hekate was trying to tell me that I needed to look at my situation from a different perspective, to understand its not as bad as I exaggerated it to be.

[twojackals]

Personal Gnosis

I've spoken about Personal Gnosis before (what you may know as Unverified Personal Gnosis, or UPG) -- and I guess before that, too. Please note I am rejecting that terminology these days, and have moved on to simply calling UPG, "PG" which to me makes so much more sense.

After a recent post that essentially touched on it a third time, I was presented with a couple of articles (which I had already read thankfully, but I did re-read them) and asked to comment on them. To be fair, I really dislike getting in-depth on microblogging platforms like Mastodon, but I did make a response I felt it was important to share in a larger format location.

Trying to compare human actions, such as watching a movie (as an example given by the author) or listening to a lecture or what have you, to spirituality is a very tight rope to walk. You cannot realistically compare these events to spirituality, and the reason is simple: movies and lectures are objective and can be seen and verified by many people and tested scientifically. They are clear, solid, observable occurrences which cannot be disputed even if only a minute amount of evidence exists (because that evidence will often be concrete, like video, or multiple people in separate locations being able to attest to an event, or some other testable means).

But no matter how much we'd like to think so, there is unfortunately no part of the divinity aspects of spirituality that is objective. None. Zero. You don't have to like it, or even believe it, for this to be true. Afterall, if we had objective evidence that could be tested, there wouldn't be any debates about spirituality to begin with. The only evidence we have for spirituality, that anyone has now or has ever had for spirituality, is subjective.

Everything about relationships with the Gods is subjective and personal, at every point in human history.

The only difference between what one person believes, and what many people believe, is that people may come together and agree that their individual personal experiences matched up closely enough (and keep in mind, human minds are easily swayed, particularly in groups, into believing things that may be partial or non truths, we see it every single day), or if a single person convinced others that their personal, unique, individual experiences made sense for everyone else (also happens quite frequently).

I don't want anyone to misunderstand what I'm saying: I agree with the author in saying no one is 'obligated' to believe their own PG, and that self-assessment, introspection, and analysis of one's own PG is critical, and necessary. That's the discernment part. However, at some point in human history, someone communicated their own PG to others, and the others agreed with that PG as their experiences as well (be that because they felt they experienced it, or because they simply agreed with the stream of consciousness at the time), and it became "religion" or "a spiritual path".

That doesn't change the fact that the original experience, or experiences, are PG.

The author says, and I quote: "And if my PG goes against the lore directly, am I to assume that somehow those many thousands of people over thousands of years were all somehow misled or mistaken and yet I alone have the right of it?" To which I would reply: 'many thousands of people' still boil back down to a single instance or set of instances in human history. Many of us as Polytheists, Pagans, and the like would say, as an example, that Christian religion today is wrong in many aspects, but that doesn't stop millions of people from believing it. And as for presuming the Gods were 'lying' to others but not to ourselves... who said anything about lies?

The human brain is complicated, along with the mind that goes with it (the brain being physical, the mind being more metaphysical). This isn't about calling anyone a liar but rather understanding how our minds are fallible creatures. The Gods don't need to be fallible (although I do not feel they are infallible either, to be clear, I do believe Gods can make mistakes) for a human mind to be incapable of grasping what is actually happening on a spiritual or divine level, because we are fallible, always.

That is why I trust my own mind more than I trust the masses, any day of the week.

It doesn't stop the lore (I love this word, and if you're a fan of Game Theory, you probably do too), or the PG of others (be that single or en-masse) from being important. But it does mean we need to stop considering our own personal experiences to be nil in the eyes of what essentially becomes "religion". That's a very "mainstream Big 3 religion" kind of mindset, and last I checked, we're literally trying not to be that in many cases. Or at least I am.

All of this is why I dislike the term "Unverified" in what we call "UPG". I also reject the idea of "Verified Personal Gnosis" because again, the idea of "Verified" is that it matches up with "history", but in and of itself that makes assumptions that all ideas from individual throughout history, fallible people and minds in the past, are somehow infallible.

So for me, we have Personal Gnosis, and Shared Personal Gnosis, and I still maintain that anything else is doing our own personal existence a grave disservice.

A good follow-up point from a friend (not verbatim): What happens when people try to make their own Personal Gnosis a matter of 'everyone's' Personal Gnosis, eg: "My relationship with x-God(s) is defined in y-way and said God(s) don't like any other way". For this, there's a difference between a personal gnosis that is your own, that you share with the caveat that "this is just between me and my gods", vs. one you try to force on others, that I will agree with.

In this case, it isn't PG that's the problem, but rather a case of bad personal behaviour. Trying to force one person's ideas onto others is never the correct plan of action, and the way we speak and state things carries importance. If we fuck that up, that's yet another example of fallible human behaviour, which feeds back into the whole reason I do not agree there exists any kind of "VPG". Instead, we simply congregate our PG together where it works (Shared personal Gnosis), and not where it doesn't.

That's how it would work in an ideal world, but sadly the world is not ideal, and we have many dissonant voices, some who like to project more than others. Still, UPG is used far too much as a sour connotation, and it is extremely distasteful for me, so I'm happy to give the terminology the boot.