#Place's still a shithole tho

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): Morthal Jail

I'm back on my Skyrim prison bullshit. I can only apologise. This chapter of the review will cover Morthal, the community's collective 9th favourite Skyrim city. Will its prison fall just as flat as the city that holds it?

Arriving in my cell for the first time and I'm pleasantly surprised. Morthal Jail uses cost effective but cozy bedrolls to give prisoners a place to sleep, as well as a complimentary bucket and broom to encourage their responsibility in helping tidy their accommodations. From these we can immediately infer that the mindset in Morthal is one of community strength. Placing multiple prisoners in one cell helps build bonds and encourages teamwork, communication and friendship. Admittedly the sorts that end up in prison are more likely to simply beat their cellmates to death with their bare hands than work in-tandem with them, but it's the thought that counts.

There was space for three prisoners in this one cell, which was fortunate as Sofia and I had been arrested simultaneously (Sofia for drunken hooliganism and myself for lollygagging). Included on Sofia's side of the cell was an additional bucket, this likely serving as the simple but effective waste deposit for this cell. Also included was a basket containing five green apples and multiple sacks. Most of the sacks were empty but one of them had some salt piles inside, useful for when we needed to add salt to somebody's wounds. These simple supplies show a level of understanding for prisoner's needs not really seen in most other prisons which goes a long way to making this one feel more welcoming. Thankfully I was given an opportunity to explore beyond my cell not much later.

Less than a minute after Sofia and I had arrived in our cells, Inigo walked up to the cell doors... and simply opened them. I was at a loss for words! How had he done this? Had he used his special Khajiit powers again? Did he steal the key from an unsuspecting guard? Or had he simply intimidated the door into giving way? Well as it tuns out it was much simpler than that. He paid our bail. He had picked up some trace valuables from our adventures while I was, and I quote, "too busy scarfing dragon souls as if they were sweet rolls" and could very easily afford the rather meager bail price. Yeah turns out lollygagging doesn't incur that high of a bounty, and as for Sofia, I had asked a guard and he told me that since Morthal is such a nothing shithole drunken hooliganism is a very common offence and as such more major punishments weren't really practical for having a city with people not in prison. Still, it gave me the chance to freely observe the rest of the facilities.

Leaving my cell had allowed me to freely confirm something I had observed inside my cell. The Morthal guard leave the prisoner belongings chests directly next to the prison cells, in plain view of all the prisoners. Now, I understand that this prison is trying to build a feeling of mutual trust in its prisoners, but I fear this is far too optimistic. With the chests in this position, any wannabe escapist can freely identify where their equipment is held and try to access it without even being in the peripheral view of any guards, leading them to easily re-acquire their trusty Banded Iron Shield of the Major Knight or whatever it is they use and be more than prepared to force their way to freedom without major harm. This, much like the issues plaguing Dragonsreach Dungeon, is a major security breach and should be remedied.

I (the rather large Redguard man in the rags pictured above) then noticed that the entire prison floor in this hold was being guarded by a single solitary guardsman. Initially I had considered this lack of manpower a major oversight and a suggestion that the Morthal guard were largely lazy and/or not effectively utilized like the Whiterun guards. However, in reflection shortly after coming to this conclusion, I came to a realization. This city is a nothing shithole with a total named population of eighteen people (three of which are children). Of course there's only one guard stationed here. What few guards this city has stationed here are likely stretched incredibly thin and not very satisfied with life given they do, in fact, live in Morthal. As such, I can readily forgive the short-staffed nature of this jail.

Opposite the guard was a desk for writing legal documentations, equipped with a writer's quill, rolls of paper and multiple bottles of wine. Naturally at the sight of alcohol Sofia immediately made herself at home and then took some serious persuading to leave. Turns out having an alcohol-happy workspace in a city where drunken hooliganism is let off lightly is exactly the sort of thing to get her attention, though knowing her should have made that obvious.

The way out of the jail floor leads directly into the guard barracks with zero alternative routes and multiple guards inside at all times, which in any other hold would act as a strong defence against escaping convicts. However, with this being Morthal the nothing shithole and the guards being so few in number, every guard in the barracks when I entered was fast asleep, catching up on any rest they could possibly get. I pity those soldiers, but I doubt thieves, murderers and other more serious convicts would be as sympathetic.

On the whole, I found Morthal Prison to be a much better facility than Dragonsreach Dungeon. It has a clear intention for its captives in mind, it accommodates them well without breaking the bank and the guards (what ones are still awake that is) are very nice and understanding. There are still faults however, namely the placement of the prisoner belongings chests and the fact that this is still, at the end of the day, Morthal. Despite these though, I'd recommend Morthal Prison. It serves as a diamond in the swampy messy shithole that is Hjaalmarch.

Final rating: Seven Banded Iron Shields of the Major Knight out of Ten Banded Iron Shields of the Major Knight

Thank you for entertaining these reviews of mine. Next time we see if the Dawnstar Jail is the reason why all of the city's residents are troubled by endless nightmares.

[idkwhatever580]

Her pt. 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader

Prompt: natasha meets y/n while undercover at a soup kitchen. What happens when hydra gets mixed in?

Warnings ⚠️: cursing, some angst, mentions of blood and gunshot, getting beat up? Tell me if there’s any more!!

Pronouns: she/her

A/N: guys this one is really long 😭 idk how many words tho. Idk how to find that out. Make sure to tell me if you like it and follow if you want to see my next post. (Idk when it will go up but I think I’m gonna do a part two)-> https://www.tumblr.com/idkwhatever580/749925326055948288/her-pt-2

Natasha’s Pov

Ugh. This is so stupid. I hate this room.

Fury thinks it is a good idea for us to stay in a stupid rinky dink motel to keep our identities safe.

I think it’s bullshit. The least he can give us is a days inn. But noooo we gotta stay in a one star motel that stinks and has horrible water pressure.

I look over at Clint and glare. He smirks at me and says

“Why the long face?”

I sneer and say

“You know exactly why. We’re stuck in this dump for another month!”

He chuckles and says

“We’ve already been here a month. What’s one more? I honestly think this place is growing on me”

I roll my eyes and say

“Of course you would end up liking this shithole.”

He comes over and nudges my shoulder and says

“Hey! Think about it this way. You get to see her for another month.”

I narrow my eyes at him when he puts on a cheeky grin.

I scoff and brush it off like normal. But Clint knows. He knows me. He knows that I like her.

Her.

I could think about her all day if I tried.

You see, Clint and I are on an undercover mission to investigate a possible hydra meeting place. We’ve been eating at this soup kitchen for weeks. Acting like we’re homeless so we can get info. Normally I would hate this job. And I do don’t get me wrong, but there’s this one volunteer. Her name is y/n.

Y/n.

Doesn’t that just roll right off your tongue? I wish she’d roll right on my tongue.

I shake my head to void myself of these thoughts. But it’s all in vain. She is so pretty.

Her smile is bright. Albeit her teeth might not be perfect but I think it makes her even better. She makes this whole thing bearable.

Her sweet face, and quirky remarks make me almost blush.

Almost.

Clint snaps in front of my face and I look up at him and he says

“Did you hear a single thing I said?”

I shake my head even though I want to say yes. Whatever he said could have been important.

He sighs and says

“Well. I’m going to take a shower. And try to see if the water actually heats up this time. If not. I’ll still be in there a while. I gotta take a shit. So if you need to use the bathroom I suggest you go now or forever hold your peace”

I chuckle a bit and shake my head and he grabs his towel and says

“Alright. Have fun thinking about y/n”

He goes off and I lie back on the bed. It creaks but I don’t care anymore. All I can think about is her.

I don’t know who she is. She seems well off. But she’s not mean. No. What mean person would willingly volunteer at a soup kitchen?

She is so tender. Always making sure all the homeless people get their fair share and if she thinks someone is looking a little skinny one day she’ll give them a bit more.

She always gives me a bit more. Then says she put too much. Clint thinks it’s just to see me a bit more. I think she’s just a bit tired by the time I get in line.

Her.

God. It’s only been a month and her beauty floods my senses. I remember the first time she hugged me.

She smelled like oranges and cupcakes.

She always stayed and sat with all the homeless people. Making sure to update herself on their lives.

Clint and I stay longer though. So she ends up talking to me. He kind of acts closed off. So that he can always be on guard.

He knows my senses are being let down by her. And he’s okay with it. I wish I wasn’t.

She talks of her life a lot. And I sometimes think I see her look at my lips but I shake it away and try to forget that telling myself I imagined it.

By the time I’m done day dreaming of her today, Clint comes out and says

“One. Do NOT go in there. And two. Let’s get ready to go”

I sigh and smile a bit. I know I’m gonna get to see her. I put on my ‘homeless attire’ and we leave the building.

We walk into the soup kitchen along with some of the others who are nice. I look around and my eyes zero in on y/n’s normal spot. I see her and she sees me at the same time

She smiles excitedly and waves at all of us but her eyes linger on me. I wave back shyly.

We go up and she portions our food while asking how everyone’s day has been.

When it’s my turn she portions my food and hands it to me and then says

“Oh! I think I gave you a bit too much. Here let me fix it.”

She brushes her hand across mine and for the first time. I blush.

I blush

Crap. I blushed.

Thankfully she doesn’t notice. But I know.

She hands it back to me and says “there you go sweets”

I smile shyly but I’m screaming inside. I thank y/n and scurry off to my undesignated designated spot. Clint sits by me and says

“Did you?”

I slap him in the arm and say

“Shut up Barton or I’ll kill you”

He giggles and hops away from me to eat his food.

After a while y/n comes up to me and says

“Hey girl! I finally finished the portions. Wanna talk?”

She always asks if I want to talk and I always nod my head. She sits down and start yapping while I smile and listen to it all. At some point she says

“My mom and I always had this deal. That if I ever sent a message to her with a lowercase x at the end, that means I am in danger. Thank goodness I never had to use it though.”

She quickly moves on to another topic just as fast as she got to the previous. I try to keep up with her.

As the soup kitchen closes for the day around 3 and we all leave. I leave with a smile on my face.

God she’s so pretty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up in bed and smile. I look over at my alarm clock and realize I have only about thirty minutes left to get ready for the soup kitchen.

I hop out of bed and Clint smirks and says

“You’ve never slept that long. You good?”

I roll my eyes and say

“Fuck off”

We quickly leave for the soup kitchen and I walk in and look for y/n. My eyebrows furrow when she’s not in her normal spot.

I go over to Calvin, the soup kitchen owner and say

“Hey. Is y/n here today?”

He shakes his head and says

“No. Surprisingly she sent me a text this morning saying she’s not gonna make it. Look”

Calvin turns his phone towards me and I read the message.

Y/n Y/l/n

Hey! I’m so sorry this is last minute but I can’t come in today. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow! x

My eyes widen and I say

“Oh. Okay. Thanks Calvin.”

I quickly walk to Clint who is eagerly waiting in line for his food. I whisper to him.

“We need to go. Y/n is in danger.”

He looks at me confused and says

“What? You heard Calvin. He said she said she was fine.”

I shake my head and only now does Clint realize I am being serious.

“Aww but I just got to the front of the line”

Clint whines and pouts and I say

“If I let you grab this you better get a to go box. And hurry”

In a stern voice. He nods his head and gets his food quickly.

We head back to the motel. I pull out my emergency bag and grab the laptop. I’m only supposed to go online in emergencies and I dictate this as one.

I explain to Clint what is wrong and he nods his head in agreement. Y/n has never missed a day of the soup kitchen. Even when she was so tired she looked dead.

I quickly power it on and start looking into her socials.

It’s a wonder I haven’t looked her up until now. It’s actually a wonder that I haven’t even heard of her. She’s popular.

She’s a famous artist. Actress and Singer/songwriter. Her name is Y/n y/m/n y/l/n. She’s 24. Only three years younger than me. She acts in some really popular movies. Of course I never have watched them. Or else I would have probably recognized her. She writes and sings a bit. But not much.

I start digging deeper. I look at her most recent posts and I see that she posted on Instagram about the same time that she sent the message to Calvin.

I read the post and it’s a cute picture of her. From yesterday. That’s the outfit she wore and she took a quick selfie in it.

She added a paragraph and I scour it intensely.

Hey guys! I know I don’t do this a lot but I whant to come on heere and thank you for your dedication tol me. I’m so excited to have hit fifty milliopn follmowers on Instageram. It’sh truly an hyonor to be lovedd by so rmany of youa. xoxo x

I see how she has a bunch of misspelled words and I put two and two together. The misspellings put together make out a sentence.

Help me hydra x

I look back at Clint and he says

“Damn. That was easy. She’s smart.”

All the comments are either fawning over her or bullying her for having so many misspellings but I know. She’s communicating to me. To anyone who notices. And I am the person right now.

Thankfully, the hydra people are fucking stupid. And I’m highly trained in coding. So I am able to track her phone easily.

I pinpoint it at the soup kitchen. And then Clint grabs my shoulder and says.

“The back room. Y/n always talked about Calvin chilling in a back room that she caught a glimpse of once. She said it looked scary.”

I widen my eyes and my shoulders tense up say

“You think they’re stupid enough to keep her there?”

He nods his head and I shake mine and say

“Well. There’s no harm in trying. And we might get our mission done faster if we’re right.”

I quickly put on my suit as Clint puts his on in the bathroom. He walks up with his bow and arrow at the ready and he says.

“You ready?”

I nod my head stiffly and we hop in the run down car that we are only allowed to use in emergencies. Once again we both dictate this an emergency.

Clint drives as I map out a plan outloud.

“Okay. So we’re gonna split up. You go in the front. I’ll go in the back. See what we can find. I know our mission is to get intel but if y/n doesn’t make it out alive I’m gonna burn the whole city down.”

Clint chuckles a bit with his signature smile on and I raise my eyebrow and say

“What?”

He shakes his head and says,

“Well, it’s just- you really like this girl huh? I mean burning the city down is a pretty big thing to do. And that’s kind of odd for you. I didn’t think you’d be the type.”

I scoff and cross my arms and say

“We need to focus on the mission. And not the fact that I may or may not be down bad.”

He chuckles once more and then pulls into a spot away from the soup kitchen.

I run to the back and Clint runs to the front once we solidify our plan and then we both easily break in. The soup kitchen is usually open in case there is a homeless person who desperately needs shelter. Like if there’s a storm or something. Thankfully though Clint tells me through comms that there’s no one inside.

“I’m in”

I say when I pick the lock. I frown when I realize that this is gonna be an easy feat. I know not to let my guard down. Just in case.

I hear a crackle when the comms come on and Clint says,

“Hey nat… you’re gonna want to see this”

I put my finger on my earpiece and say,

“Did you find y/n?”

“No, but I found the intel we were definitely looking for. And a lot more.”

I frown and say,

“Okay put it on a drive then come find me. I’m in the west wing. Call a quinjet to pick us up.”

——————————————————————————

Nobody’s pov

Clint downloads the files to a usb drive and he kind of freezes for a moment as he sees the files of horrifying victims flow into it. There’s footsteps headed his way and he pulls out his arrows and prepares to shoot someone.

One set of footsteps quickly becomes about four and something he can quite pin he takes a breath prepared to fight.

The doors open so fast he doesn’t even have time to blink before he is shooting his arrows. He quickly downs four of them but he knows there’s a fifth.

He slowly looks around the area they came in and moves around the desk only to find a shaking ball of a human. He squats down and says

“Y/n?”

So softly she might not have heard it. She snaps her head up and says

“Cliff?”

She sniffles when she says his code name and he holds his hand out for her and says.

“It’s Clint. I know this is confusing and scary but we’ve got to find Natasha and get you out of here before anything else happens okay?”

She nods her head and says

“Is Natalie Natasha?”

Clint nods his head and presses his earpiece to tell Natasha that they’re done.

Natasha huffs and says

“Wow you just have to take all the credit huh?”

Clint giggles a bit and then grabs the full usb drive and starts walking out carefully. He looks back at y/n and says

“Are you coming or not?”

She is shaking and says,

“Uh. I- I think I can’t walk”

Clint finally realizes that she has a bullet in her thigh and it’s bleeding a bit but thankfully not enough to kill her. At least for now. He sighs and says,

“Alright. I’m gonna pick you up and we’re gonna fly to New York for a bit to get you healed.”

She nods her head and we head off.

Once Clint gets everyone on the quinjet y/n passes out.

“Fuck”

——————————————————————————

Y/n’s pov

I wake up in a hospital bed. I open my eyes a bit just to close them immediately. You’d think that they would turn the lights down or something.

I groan a bit and someone is at my side. I don’t even want to see who it is. I just want to get back to my home.

Which is what got me into this situation in the first place.

——————————————————————————

(Kind of flashback?)

I walked out of the soup kitchen. Everyone had left and I locked the door. I decided to walk there today so I started my trek back home. And then I realized I left my phone. So I went back and unlocked the door.

Calvin was in there. I assume he is just restocking or something and I say hi and asked if he has seen my phone.

He dangles it in front of my face and then puts a gun to my head.

Shit

He says I need to make a text to send to him so that nobody from the soup kitchen worries about me and then make a post so that my fans don’t think anything of my absence.

At this point. I probably won’t be making it out.

Yes I’m famous. And yes I have a lot of caring fans.

But nobody knows me well enough to even think of me. And by the time someone does. I’ll probably be dead.

He walks me to the back room that I’ve only seen once. Damn. I knew this was sketch.

His grip on my hands is so tight.

I didn’t even realize I have tears streaming down my face until he says

“Quit your whimpering. If you get us caught you’re dead”

I look up at him and say

“Us? There’s more?”

He scoffs and says

“Of course there’s more of us. Hydra doesn’t do loners. We’re not dumb enough. Now shut up or I’ll kill you and everyone else you’ve ever loved. Including your little Natalie”

That shut me up real quick.

Fuck my life.

He throws me in a cell and beats me up. I have so many cuts and bruises already.

He left me about an hour ago and now I’m just laying here on the concrete. By my calculations the soup kitchen will open in about 8 hours. Hopefully Natalie notices I’m gone.

She notices everything.

I know she’s homeless and I’m not but part of me wants to take her with me. Give her a new life.

Make her mine.

But she doesn’t like me like that. And that wouldn’t be fair to the other homeless people who have been here even longer.

Gran says I’m head over heels and I should court her. But she’s also a bit crazy.

But then again pops says she likes me back. And although pops is like never wrong, there’s always a first time for everything. I’m not so sure though.

God how am I thinking of her at a time like this? I’m actually daydreaming about a silly little (not so little) crush of mine while my life is at stake. Well, I have nothing else to do. So thinking about her it is.

Her

She’s so beautiful. Even when she has dirt all over her and her clothes look like they need more than just a little stitching and washing.

Natalie

It’s a pretty name but it honestly doesn’t fit her quite right. I just don’t know what other name would though.

Meh. I’m probably just being weird.

By the time I am finished thinking about her I fall asleep and I wake up and calculate it is already morning. Thank god. My calculations are confirmed when one of the guards brought me food for some reason. I ask him

“What time is it?”

He says,

“I’m not supposed to talk to you but it’s 10:46 am”

I nod my head and thank him.

I scarf the food down so I can hopefully get as much energy before they take it away from me. Maybe I’ll be able to stay alive longer.

After I’m finished Calvin walks in and says

“What do you know about Natalie?”

I frown and say

“Why?”

“You’re very close to her. And i want info on her. If you tell me everything you know I’ll let you go”

I consider my options. But clearly they want her info for something. I don’t want her to be in danger. She’s strong yes. But she’s also homeless. Nobody to care for her. And I don’t want her to die on my watch. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if one of my favorite people died because of me. Hoe selfish would that be.

So I say the bare minimum.

“I don’t actually know much about her. I usually do all the talking.”

He kicks me. Ouch.

“I think her favorite color is red. And her favorite food is whatever I cook. At least that’s what she says.”

Another kick. Ow.

Calvin gets a bit mad and says.

“The soup kitchen is about to open. I’m gonna go get the food prepared and you’re going to think about every little thing she’s ever told you. And about that cliff dude too.”

I glare at him and say

“He never talks. You think I know anything? I’m just a stupid girl.”

He sneers and says

“If you don’t come up with anything good you better kiss your little girlfriend goodbye.”

I frown and curl into a ball as he leaves.

I mumble

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

What can I find that will seem plausible that isn’t true about her.

——————————————————————————

Time jump to after soup kitchen closes and Calvin comes back.

“Tell me everything you know bitch”

I spit at him and say

“I don’t know anything about them”

He gets really angry at that and he kicks me in the head.

I’m shaking really bad already. That’s gonna hurt way worse later. If I make it to later.

After more and more berating he finally has enough and pulls out a gun. I cry and sob and say

“Pl- please no. Calvin you’re better than this! It’s okay I won’t tell anyone! I promise just let me go. Please”

I beg but he doesn’t give in. He points the gun at me and shoots.

It hits me in my thigh and I scream. I scream and I scream and he says

“Shut up bitch. Nobody can hear you. They won’t hear you when you scream.”

I cry but I quiet down. Clearly there’s no point in using my voice. I’m just gonna die anyways.

Suddenly there’s a guard running to Calvin and he whispers something to him. Calvin looks at me and says

“Get up bitch. You’re coming with us”

Three more guards come and pick me up and start marching me away from whatever it is they’re scared of. They open a door and then I fall on the ground. They dropped me for some reason but I don’t care. I curl up into a ball and then a soft voice calls my name.

I look up and say

“Cliff?”

——————————————————————————

And that’s how I ended up here.

I’m in a hospital bed. Somewhere. Probably safe.

I finally open my eyes and see Natalie. Well. Natasha.

That name fits her better. Now I know why I felt that way. She’s still so pretty.

But she’s in a black catsuit. It shows off her curves. I look away because I don’t want to objectify her or anything.

She smiles and says

“You’re awake”

I can tell that she wants to say something else but doesn’t know if she can.

I look at her and say.

“Yeah. What happened?”

“Well. You obviously know you were kidnapped by hydra.”

I nod my head and don’t let her finish. I’m clearly hurt when I say

“Why did you lie to me?”

She sighs and says.

“I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad at me. I lied because I am an avenger. We’re in New York City at the avengers tower. I can take you home as soon as you’re cleared. But for now I’m going to explain okay?”

I nod my head and let her speak.

“Since I am an avenger and a highly ranked spy, I sometimes have to go on missions undercover. My name is Natasha romanoff. My alias’ are Natalie rushman, black widow and others. I was recently undercover with my friend and coworker Clint Barton. His alias’ are cliff barren and Hawkeye.”

She pauses and then continues

“We were looking to find intel. We had a hint that hydra, the people that took you, were there. Thankfully you were able to send a message out before they took you. They’re dumb. So I tracked you the second I knew you were in danger.”

I frown and say

“So you lied about not knowing who I was?”

She shook her head and says

“I only found out who you were after you sent that message. Because I looked you up on my emergency computer. So no. I didn’t lie about that. Y/n you are very brave and strong. Most people wouldn’t have made it out of there. Most people didn’t.”

I nod my head and say

“So. How long have I been out?”

“About a day and a half. Clint and I went to the soup kitchen the past two days to make sure everyone was okay. It’s under new management already. She’s nice. Her name is Mary. We cleared out hydra and everything and everyone at the soup kitchen is okay.”

I nod my head and say

“That’s good.”

I frown and say

“What now?”

She sighs and sits down and says

“Well. You have a few options after you’re cleared. Continue on with life and forget all about us. Or, we can create a new safe soup kitchen and you can start creating houses for the homeless. Give them new opportunities. Get some of them into rehab. Follow your dream. Fully paid of course, courtesy of Tony Stark and SHEILD considering you helped us get one of the biggest bouts of information in a very short amount of time.”

My eyes light up and I say

“Wait… you… you listened to me when I was talking?”

Natasha nods her head and says

“I don’t know if you noticed but I notice everything. When you talked about your dreams of retiring as an actress to help the needy, it was so moving. It’s a good dream. And I want to help you achieve it.”

I sit up carefully and say

“I’m so excited I could just kiss you!”

I realize what I said and then say

“Oh shit. I didn’t- I don’t- I didn’t mean that”

Natasha says

“Really? Because I would have done it if you did mean it.”

I widen my eyes and point at her a little dumbfounded and say

“You- you wanna- I-l”

She smirks and walks up to my hospital bed and leans into me. She stops just before to silently ask permission and I nod my head.

She presses her lips softly into mine and they’re softer than clouds. She pulls away softly and I giggle like a school girl and say

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

Natasha raises her eyebrow and says

“Even when I was covered in dirt and smelled like shit?”

I shrug my shoulders and say

“I think it adds to your charm. You’re a cutie”

We hear a chuckle from the doorway and Clint walks in. He smirks and says

“I don’t think anyone has ever called Natasha romanoff a cutie and made it out alive.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and says

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nobody called me anything”

I giggle and say.

“Natasha?”

She immediately looks at me and I say

“Do you think I can really do that homeless shelter?”

She nods her head and says

“I know you can.”

I smile realizing a whole new chapter of my life is about to start. And it’s gonna be great.

All because of her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: whew!! Damn that was long. I hope y’all liked it!!! Please tell me if there are any warnings I missed. I think I’m gonna do a part two of the next chapter in y/n’s life. I really just write whatever I’m thinking about lol. My anons are in fact open. I don’t have too many requirements. But expect to have a happy ending lol I’m so sappy 🤷‍♀️🩷

[eldritch-spouse]

lmao Vesper 😭😭😭

Ok wait for me I have new genius idea for crackass scapegoat!AU

Reader is the poor employee with a curse of being a magnet for Icons. They're trying their best, applying for the jobs in the most "human" spaces – but it's useless to try, it's only matter of time when they're meeting face to face with something very huge and demonic. They're not even trying, really. They're not even at some high position. They're just too unlucky to being the one who listens to all complaints and death threats... yet still very lucky to somehow remain alive after that.

After being kicked out from the theatre, their first honest job, they're totally broke. Underground casino? Yeah, yeah, shady. Sign them up!

Work is actually not so bad until some strange green giant scolds the shit out of them for "playing cheap" and almost brings them to that hot shithole– good thing he got distracted and the only thing poor employee lost are all their money and a job.

Damn, here we go again- Nothing could be wrong with working in a popular restaurant, yeah? Everyone gone through it-

Oh, how lucky they're to stay alive after that day when enormous snake woman decided to visit their modest establishment of a workplace. Their coworker, fellow waiter, is not so lucky tho. Poor Kenny.

With a generous amount of trauma, our scapegoat is escaping to something- something completely different, you know? They got a jackpot! Luck is TOTALLY on their side after all this suffering, how else you can explain that they got a job in that prestigious boutique?

... Well, let's say, they haven't break in tears only because of their lack of dignity at this point. That guy was marvelous, but he almost crashed them into the pulp with all his requirements- they're not even a designer, really....

Okay, maybe, they need to take a rest. Big rest. Take their stress out somewhere. Ikea, furniture store, bed section. Peace and love.

How it's even possible to be fired from a chill place like this? Oh, that's easy. Some buff dude built like a mountain just sorta appeared and fell asleep at the one of the biggest beds- and for some reason they fell asleep on their workplace while it happened. When they woke up tho, here was no one but a broken bed and complain in the customer's book.

That's it. That's a last nerve they had. They're escaping to the amusement park, to be the clown they are and being paid for it, as they deserve.

Only to be mocked by a guy with a fucking macaroni limbs. No, here was other people too, but he brought the greatest display of mockery and dishonour ever possible. Even their destroyed dignity somehow reanimated just to get beat down again.

...

Kalymir has zero idea why he woke up with a strong desire to go on the fucking "DOTA tournament" and tf it even means, but he already hyped up and ready to crush in-

After having to gamble at the same table as the Lord of Greed and nearly losing ownership of your soul.

After working at a restaurant good enough that the Queen of Gluttony unintentionally erotically fellated your entire body and made you feel like a twinkie.

After getting your department in IKEA utterly destroyed by the King of Sloth's insistence that he nap specifically in your section.

After having the King of Pride rip into you so viciously that you only wished you had been swallowed.

After having the King of Envy out-clown you.

And now, seeing what you can only guess is the King of Wrath well on his way to likely turn you into a stain on the wall...

You think of what could have been. Before this chain of horrid luck took over your life. In that one first job where you had to confront Vesper about his tendency for "group affections"-

Maybe you really should have just taken the deal and sucked him off.

[bubuslutty]

Bambi with fangs

part 2, all parts

Moodboard

pairing: lumberjack! frank castle x (mutant) vampire fem!reader

word count: 2.6k

tags: attempted sa not from Frank tho obvs, typical Frank violence, mutants exist, (kinda) drug use and substance abuse, tell me if I missed anything

warning: attempted sa, violence (Frank beats the shit out of a bunch of people, no killing tho), blood

Summary: Frank wanted someone to bring a little bit of excitement to his boring yet peaceful life. Maybe someone who wasn't scared of anything, who could handle being with him and his bloody baggage of violence and death that he still has to drag around with him. But what he was not expecting, was to end with an armful of mutant, all fangy and pretty with blood running down her nose and chin.

a/n: I am NOT from the US, so I apologise in advance for using the wrong terms for things. I just want to write a fic of Frank having his own fangy gf okay??? even though he's a lumberjack, there's not much details abt his life here, but all of that will be explored in part 2, hopefully 🤞

Frank took a deep breath, feeling his overworked muscles ache and joints snap. He rubbed his face and placed his hat on the counter, raising two fingers to order two beers.

Frank was alone by the bar as usual, straight out of work and tired as hell. He really should be home by now, showering, making himself something to eat and throwing himself in bed to get some hours in before he goes to work tomorrow. But he always finds himself in the grim bar in town, drinking until Josie refuses to give him any more beer and reminds him he has to drive home. 

Frank wonders why he keeps finding himself sitting at a stool, hunched over his drink and mulling over his boring yet peaceful life. Maybe he secretly yearns for something, or someone to disrupt his routine. To bring something along the way, be it a bit of excitement, love or even lust, Frank’s tired of lying to himself that he's just content living as a virgin lumberjack, even if he chose to live that way. 

There are people in town, both men and women who have expressed their interest in him. Frank always politely declined their advances, not because he found them undesirable, but simply because he was still a dangerous man, even if he ran as far as he could from his old life. He doesn’t have the heart to drag anyone in and one day wake up to death at his doorstep. If he wants to let someone in and let them be associated with him, Frank wants them to be capable of protecting themselves from anything. It’s all Frank asks for.

Over the music playing from the old jukebox, Frank heard the commotion near the toilets. He looked over his shoulder and saw multiple shadows casting over the wall, but no bodies as they were all behind the corner. Frank turned to Josie, who was serving some other clients and she didn’t seem like she heard anything, but neither did anyone else. 

Frank felt like he had to stand up and go see what was going on. And he did. Frank gulped down the rest of his second beer and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, grabbing his hat and placing a few bills on the counter. He quickly looked over his shoulder and turned over the dark corner leading to the toilets.

The first thing he saw was a group of men talking in hushed voices, well, they thought they were talking in hushed voices but Frank could hear their voices clearly.

“What do we do?”

“I think I saw her before, isn’t she famous?”

“What would a famous person do in our shithole of town, idiot?”

“She’s pretty, prettier than your girlfriend, huh?”

“Is she breathing? She looks out of it.”

Then he saw her, slumped on the floor against the wall, hair on her face, blood running her nose and staining her lips and chin. She was wearing a pink lace bralette under a cropped jean jacket, jean shorts with a belt and silver-heeled boots. The stranger was also wearing necklaces, bracelets and earrings, all glinting every time a car zoomed in front of the bar and the light rushed in through the windows.

Frank noticed the men shuffling closer and noticed the second their looks changed and body tensing up. His stomach would’ve dropped if he was anyone else but all Frank felt was a wave of violent disgust and he acted before his brain could catch up. 

“What are you doing?”

The men flinched and turned around, eyes wide at being caught red-handed.

“Oh, it’s just the weird guy who works for Marco.”

“Listen, man, this is none of your business.” 

Frank clenched his jaw, his index finger twitching and eyes glaring daggers at the disgusting men.

“Leave her alone.” Frank said, voice deep and gruff.

One of the men glared at Frank, “Look man, we clearly don’t want you here, so how about you get the fuck out of here?” 

“Hey, calm down.” Another guy said to his hostile friend, turning to Frank with raised hands, in mock peace.

“Or you can have a piece, how’s that?” He said, grinning and making Frank even more starving to punch the man’s face in until his own mother can’t recognise him.

“Get her inside.” Frank said, lifting his chin towards the men’s toilets and making them snicker.

As the men dragged her unconscious body inside, Frank grabbed his phone from his pocket and quickly sent a text before shoving it back in his pocket.

Me: it’s urgent

Me: walk down to Josie's and don’t tell May

When the men dragged her inside the toilets and closed the door, they placed her in a sitting position against the wall and then looked up at Frank expectantly.

Frank held eye contact with them as he slowly unbuckled his belt and they started snickering again but their snickers quickly died out when Frank started wrapping his belt around one of his knuckles.

“What are you doing?..”

.

.

.

.

.

Frank calmly washed his bloody hands in one of the sinks and glanced in the mirror, at the heap of bloody and unconscious men on the floor.

He turned to the woman and saw her move her fingers, struggling to open her eyes. Frank walked over and kneeled next to her, “Hey, can you open your eyes?”

The woman groaned and slowly opened her eyes, struggling to focus them on the man in front of her.

“Who are you?” She asked, voice rough.

“Frank. I’m Frank, and what's your name? Do you know where you are?” Frank asked, grabbing her arm when he saw he try pushing her body up from the floor.

“Careful, you’re drunk.” He reminded her, keeping a tight grip on her arm as she struggled to stand up straight.

“I’m not drunk.” She said, squinting her eyes at him and walking towards the door, trying and failing to grab the doorknob.

“Sure you’re not.” Frank muttered and twisted the doorknob open for her, and she started walking down the little corridor on wobbly legs, away from the toilets. 

He was about to ask about her name, or just escort her outside so she can get some fresh air and sober up, and hopefully call someone, a friend or family member to pick her up when she stopped dead in her tracks, falling back on Frank’s chest.

“Careful.” He grabbed her shoulders so she wouldn’t fall to the side and crack her head. 

But then he noticed her terrified face and frowned, “Are you okay?”

“No- Can you uh, look if there’s a man with blond hair and a beard? He’s tall- And he- Can you just check for me, please?” She pleaded and Frank nodded.

He kept a hold on one of her arms so she wouldn’t slip and die and he looked around the corner and there he was, the man she described accompanied by 3 other men as he spoke to Josie.

“Have you seen a girl around here? She’s about this tall and drives a pink car.” The man asked Josie who shook her head, “Sorry, haven’t seen anyone with that description.”

“Are you sure? Because we saw her car outside your bar?” 

Frank turned to look at the woman when he heard a gasp come out of her.

“That’s my car you’re talking about, asshole!” An old woman angrily said from the back of the bar, making her friends glare at the strange men.

The men looked at each other and thanked Josie before leaving the bar.

“I want to leave-” The woman choked out and Frank’s eyes widened when her body hunched over and she coughed violently, spitting blood at her feet.

“Hey, hey-” Frank held the woman’s body up when her knees gave out and her head rolled to the side, limbs limp and sweat breaking out of her flawless skin. 

Frank acted quickly and removed his flannel, wrapping it around her body and placing his hat on her head. His phone suddenly rang and he cursed under his breath, digging the device out of his pocket and holding it to his ear.

“Are you here? Meet me at the backdoors.” Frank said.

“Meet you at the- Frank what did you do?” A younger man said on the phone.

“Just meet me outside.” Frank said and hung up, ignoring the man’s protests over the phone.

Frank looked around and walked with the unconscious woman at his side, an arm wrapped around her waist while one of her arms was around his neck. He walked to the back of the bar, and luckily nobody saw them, then he pushed the backdoor with his shoulder.

The cold air of the night made him let out a shaky breath as soon as he stepped outside. Frank leaned against the wall, letting the woman’s weight rest on his side as he looked around.

“Frank, what did you do?” A scared voice suddenly asked.

It was a young man with big brown eyes and brown hair sticking from his beanie, staring at Frank and the unconscious woman with wide eyes.

“Peter, I swear this isn’t what it looks like.” Frank said, digging a hand in one of his pockets and taking out his keys and throwing them to Peter who caught them without looking.

“Can you get my truck and I’ll explain?” Frank said, still holding the woman upright.

“You have blood on your shirt.” Peter said, pointing at the drops of blood on Frank’s shirt, obviously not his.

“Peter, please.” Frank gritted through his teeth and the young man glared at him and turned around to go get his truck around.

.

.

.

.

.

“Are you going to explain to me who’s this woman? Is she unconscious? Dead? And why do you have blood on your shirt?” Peter asked from the driver’s seat while Frank was sitting on the passenger’s seat, supporting the woman’s weight on him, her legs over his thighs and head against his chest.

“I don’t know who she is. I found her unconscious at Josie’s near the toilets.” Frank told Peter.

“And the blood?” Peter asked, glancing at the woman on his friend’s lap.

“Bunch of assholes were going to take advantage of her.” Frank spit out and Peter tightened his hold on the steering wheel, clenching his jaw.

“Did you kill them?” Peter asked and Frank glanced at the young man.

“No.” 

And silence fell between them for long time before Peter asked, “Why are we taking her to your place and not to the police station?”

“Some people were looking after her. And we don’t know if she even wants to go to the cops in the first place.” Frank said making Peter nod in understanding.

When Peter parked the truck in front of Frank’s place, he ran to unlock the front door of Frank’s house and turned on the lights so the other could carry her inside. Luckily Frank lives next to the woods, far from the other houses so nobody saw them.

“Why do I feel like I’m doing something illegal? If I get in trouble, I’m telling May it’s all your fault.” Peter said, closing the door and taking off his beanie to run his hand through his brown hair.

“Can you get me a wet washcloth? She’s burning up.” Frank said and Peter walked to the kitchen while the strange woman was laying on the couch. Frank removed his flannel from around her body and threw it to the side, then her jean jacket in an attempt to cool her body down.

“Here.” Peter gave Frank the washcloth and watched Frank move her hair out of her face and gasped when he finally noticed the drying blood on her nose, lips and chin.

“What happened to her? That’s a lot of blood…” Peter said watching Frank wipe as much blood as he could with the washcloth, and then use the clean side to dab her forehead.

Frank then used his other hand to feel around her face, especially her nose. “It’s not broken… I can’t tell if she had a really bad nosebleed or if this blood is not even hers.” 

“Not hers? How can you get someone else’s blood in your nose?” Peter frowned at the man’s words and jumped when the woman suddenly opened her eyes.

The woman blinked up at the ceiling, and then abruptly sat up and hissed, holding her head in her hand. Frank and Peter watched her in silence as if as soon as they make a noise they’ll scare her like a frightened deer.

“Where- Where am I?” She hissed, looking around the room frantically, cheeks flushed with the fever and eyes watering with the onslaught of light.

“You’re in my house, remember me? Frank?” Frank spoke as gently as possible while Peter watched her with wide eyes.

The woman frowned in confusion before realisation finally dawned on her, “I remember you. You’re the guy who- who- ” She approached Frank and sniffed the air around him, eyes glancing down at the blood on his shirt. 

“You didn’t kill them.” She said with surprise.

Frank didn’t know what to say so he looked at Peter, who was even more confused and slightly scared than he was.

The strange woman stood up but her legs immediately wobbled and she almost fell face first but Peter luckily grabbed her.

“Take it slow, Bambi.” Frank scolded, hands hovering in the air.

However, the woman didn’t seem like she heard Frank and was looking up at Peter with wide eyes.

“You smell really nice.” She pointed out.

“What?”

The woman stood up straight, well, as much as she could while using the couch as support.

“Uhm, sorry about that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” She quickly said, scratching her neck and breathing deeply.

“Look, you’re still drunk so sit down.” Frank sighed and stood up to drag her to sit down or she’ll fall, crack her head open and die in his living room.

“I’m not drunk.” She fiercely hissed at him and Frank’s eyes widened when he saw two unnaturally sharp canines glinting between her pink glossy lips.

“I think I’ve got a lethal dose of drugs in my system.” She muttered, scratching her neck and walking around the living room on still wobbly legs, looking for something to drink.

“Lethal dose of- Frank, we have to go to the hospital right now.” Peter said mildly terrified and very concerned.

“No! I don’t need to go to the hospital!” She shouted, whipping her head towards the two frozen men.

“You’re going to die.” Frank said.

“No, I won’t. Just tell me where’s your fridge.” She said.

“How are you so sure it’s not going to kill you? You can’t even walk straight.” Frank frowned and got up, walking over to his kitchen while Peter just stood there, gawking at her and the fangs he saw a couple of seconds ago.

“You haven’t figured it out yet? I’m a vampire, a type of mutant.” She said, bringing her fingers to pull her lip up and expose sharp canines.

Frank’s eyes widened and she scoffed, “Don’t look at me like that, he’s a mutant as well, this shouldn’t be news to you.” 

She walked up to him and nudged him to the side and started rummaging through the fridge.

“How did you?-” Peter looked mortified but also incredibly intrigued at the same time.

“Smelled you.” She quickly answered before completely inhaling a beer bottle seconds.

Frank watched her drink all of the beers in his fridge, one after the other without breaks to even breathe. When she drank all of them, she closed the fridge and held Frank by the shoulder, “Sorry about your beers, but gotta flush the drugs out of my system somehow.” 

“Who are you?” Peter managed to finally ask.

The woman looked at him and then glanced back at Frank’s perplexed face, “You can call me Bambi, for now.”

tag list (pls ask to be added or removed): @awkwardalie @enretrogue @itwasthereaminuteago @snowkestrel

Here's also a small treat I found on Pinterest (LOOK AT JON'S BEARD WHAAAA)

[listlessnessss]

the reasons why body facsism remains rampant amongst the trans genders are complex, limited to but not including

-they’re white

-they’re PMC

-they’re [privileged]

-they still hate themselves along gender dysphoric lines

But I think that you basically have in this shithole society

1.beauty

2.normality

3.intelligence/‘marketability’

and by foregoing normality, and potentially marketability, there’s this push to lean into beauty/find truth in beauty because it’s the one way you could possibly stay with society instead of going full they them ted k up in this bitch (me tho if i had the technical knowledge to go off the grid). True for cis women too, they lose out on marketability so they lean into beauty, and some ugly women are really into being trad or religious because they’ll corner down a niche that way, by hypernormalmaxxing(?).

basically where is the place to be ugly and proud of it, actual levels of attractiveness being irrelevant? i’m never going to be beautiful and i’m never going to be normal, so i must be of use, I must “save myself”; just not in the way the other girls were told to and thought they could.

[matchadobo]

have a oc that a part of the kid pirates rignt, tell me more a about her.

YES

first of all hi anon!

i haven't had the chance to actually elaborate more on her storyline, visuals, and characterizations bc of the shithole called school 🙁 i will try to get back on doing stuff for them but i doubt i'll be able to commit since we still have some work even on break 😩

but ANYWAYS

so margaret mulhall 🔫

PRE-MEMBER

i assumed you've already read her first post and their first meeting.

to provide more info, i based her character off of lucille mulhall. to put it simply, she's the first cowgirl originated from missouri. in this case, i made margaret's mother to be lucille. margaret made it her life goal to look for her mother, it is an irl canon event that lucille lives in st. louis so i made that margaret's destination.

margaret lives off as a ship hopper (is that a word) ever since she was of legal age. she's a mercenary who takes on jobs under a certain handler, it is an informal employment. i would cook some bullshit and say this employment is aided by someone who raised her. her father is... well... i haven't cooked up something for that yet 😩

she is scared of dogs LMAO that's why i made an art for it. i just find ppl scared of dogs really cute. most dogs are scared of new ppl too so they're just scared of each other it's the CUTEST thing 🥺.

in terms of personality, margaret is somewhat similar to robin hood. does crime for good? helps people but also breaks the law? a kindhearted criminal? she steals, knows her way around danger, very daring, may or may not have k1lled someone 🫣, slept around some places for certain conditions, and have SEEN some shit. her ideals are way too similar to a pirate tho, fuck the govt and celestial dragons kinda shit. she doesn't have a stigma against pirates, she have worked (mostly betrayed) with them side by side. she just hasn't really sat herself down to assess if she'll join one. she doesn't see the need for it (until she met kidd 🤧), she has a one track mind that is only set on reaching st. louis.

NOW-MEMBER

it'll be narrated in the comic that i'm hopefully planning to release, but here is the rough sketch of the next page that does not probably make sense

but i'm planning to have her join bc she saved kidd from the marines so there's some you-owe-me kinda stuff between them, she only saved kidd to let him have her on the ship and take her to st. louis. she'll only plan to stay on the ship until the victoria reaches the island and in the span of her stay, stuff will build up between margaret and kidd 🥰. once she leaves tho, kid'll begrudgingly ask her to be become part of the crew, chemistry is just too strong in this one😌. let's just say he'll miss her 😞. i'll do better explaining in the comic i'll make I SWEAR 🥺

you guys are free to send asks abt your thoughts on margaret's characterization or anything else that could help my oc! if it's some deets abt the story with her, it'd really help 🥺 i welcome your thoughts 🥰

[heartfledged]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

— BASICS! ♡

NAME: redtail

PRONOUNS: she/her

ZODIAC SIGN: capricorn but who cares abt that crap.

TAKEN OR SINGLE: single and likely forever alone cuz nobody in this shithole i live in can keep up with me.

— THREE FACTS! ♡

i have worked with nearly every bird of prey native to texas. i'm only missing some oddball migrant species that live around the border area.

i still play pokemon go. i am level 42 !

i am chronically injury prone but have somehow never broke a bone. i am feverishly knocking on wood as i type this cuz i am riding this afternoon

— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: tumblr and discord now. some non-tumblr peeps get google docs but i hate that platform.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: yes to all. depends on partner. i prefer plotting, but i have stopped chasing people who do not plot with the same enthusiasm/do not seem to care about it.

— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: don't care.

MULTI OR SINGLE MUSE: slight preference to multis as i can keep all my notifs coming to one place, but av has gotten so big that she needs her own space. my multi is on a sideblog now and that's fine.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): youtubers/influencers/non-actors. idk. feels too close to RPF to me which i also don't like.

— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: yes. love it. i think fluff has some amazing opportunities for characters to open up to each other and writing gushy stuff helps fill the hole in my heart.

ANGST: sure. not as interested in it as other threads as too much angst can actually wear me down, but i'll write it especially if paired with other writing.

SMUT: slowly getting into it, but with people im super close with only. its never been my thing, i LOVE discussing smutty themes tho with ship partners, but i've never been that interested in writing it as i have to be in the mood for it.

Tagged by: @my-timing-is-digital Tagging: steal it from me

[ryuzakemo128]

Angel Of The Mornin

Inspired by the song Angel Of the morning by Merrilee Rush

A/N: My first try at anything remotely romantic, so bare with me.

Modern AU

Trigger Warning: Depression, Angst and possible death

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x OC (Morgan Solace)

I started studying in the field of medicine in the hopes of obtaining a PhD. I got to know my friend Diana while taking the class a few weeks after I started. The experience was like meeting someone I had met before, even though I barely knew her at the time.

She was there when my mother died from lung cancer or something, she never specified what was killing her at the time. As she didn’t want to worry me at the time. But I still worry about her all the same. It was only me and her for my entire life.

My body felt numb from the shock when I found out she had passed away in her sleep. As I rushed to check on her in the early hours of the morning. I never felt quite the same afterwards and I feel like nothing most of the time without her. My guardian angel died, and I’m now alone in an eerily empty world. Diana moved in with me so she could keep an eye on me, as she liked to remind me.

Art made it easier to express how I felt at the time, even two months after she passed. The first sculpture was inspired by a pirate movie I watched. The second one was Diana as a barmaid. A more recent one depicts her mother as another worldly angel.

The newer ones are inspired by her nightmare fuel, her friend's sleep talking and Diana’s crush on various men. She heard footsteps coming closer to her art room.

“Good morning, Di,” I said to her still half asleep.

“We’ll be late for class if you don’t hurry up,” her friend Diana said to her crossing her arms, “I thought you were mainly a medical student.”

You inspired me this week with your sleep talk. Thank you for that by the way” I replied as I continued with the last bit.

“This has to be your biggest one.”

“No, the first one was bigger than this one.”

Another creation that depicted her friend’s nightmares. A seemingly endless supply of creative ideas or at least sometimes it was. Most of the time it was about her parents.

“Are you still looking forward to lunch today?” I asked her with a slight smirk as I got ready to go to one of the few classes left.

“Yeah, you also said the same thing before you said you wanted to do two different courses at the same time.”

“Oh come on, I had a perfectly logical reason for that one.”

“No, you thought you had a logical reason. In my opinion, I thought you got off on studying. I still believe that half the time.”

“I have nothing to add other than no."

As they finished talking they walked into the classroom. “Well look at that one,” Diana whispered to her.

"Well, that was more ominous than needed.”

“Thomas Shelby, you prickly shit. The place is a shithole, so I wonder what he's doing here."

“Why not, I dunno ask?”

“Pfft, what kind of question would that be?”

“I dunno, a question is a question. Gosh, I dunno what will kill me faster you or my depression.”

“You’re auctioning off your art pieces this evening right?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Gosh, I hope he’s there.”

As class started, I looked at her still a bit confused and I shrugged it off thinking “Another far away crush for Diana Lee”. As the class continues. There were a few interruptions due to someone in class either having to go outside to take a phone call or even leave early that day.

Lunch came and passed, Diana talked about Thomas throughout and I still had no idea why he would think to show up to an art auction. Let alone mine.

“What made you sell them anyway?” She asked me.

“To make more room? To see if anyone likes my artworks enough to buy them? To have fun afterwards?”

“New rule, no answering with another question.” She laughed a bit.

“Mostly what I said already and I wanted an excuse to look somewhat pretty in a dress.”

“I haven’t even thought of that.”

“I also thought we’d go dress shopping with you"

“Sounds like a plan,”

I sighed relieved. It was better than I thought it would be, and I was more than ready to die right then.

“I’m starting to look forward to it more now.”

As the day passed by, classes for that day ended and now was prime time to pick out a dress for the upcoming event that I had planned. I hadn’t felt this excited since I got my cat for my birthday this year.

“Mr Midnight’s babysitter should be here any moment now.” I said out loud, "Remember to be kind, she’s a cat whisperer at this point.”

“I love your dress, Morgan.”

“Thanks,” I replied blushing and feeling like I was about to explode from this type of positive energy I had inside of me. I felt like a hyperactive kitten running all over the place. As soon as we got ready, we headed off in a taxi, apprehensive about the fact that there might be no one there.

“Thomas is there, your latest crush is there. Like what did you do to summon him or something?” I asked confused.

"I see a lot more people here than I thought. Right Morgan?”

“Damn right there is.”

I walked in there with her, hoping to divert attention from certain people.

Someone asked Diana “How do you know Thomas?” or something while I headed off to see if all the art pieces arrived here safely.

“Oh sorry about that. Almost ran into you. Sorry,” I made sure I apologised to whoever I bumped into. I felt horrible for doing so, I hope I didn’t ruin whatever he was wearing.

“My name is Morgan Solace, by the way.” I cringed on the inside from the way I introduced myself to him.

“Nice to meet you Morgan, my name is Thomas Shelby” He replied with a slight smirk.

“I hope you enjoy tonight’s auction, Thomas. I sincerely hope so. If you have any questions about the artworks coming out. Let me know” I had to get away, I didn’t want to bother him more than I already had.

After I politely excused myself, I headed to look for Diana, but she was nowhere to be found and I think she ditched, for whatever reason.

“Lost something?” Thomas asked.

“More like someone than something. The girl has a thing for one-night stands and romance novels. Sorry for the rambling part at the end there.”

I told him about the art being sold at auction that used to be mine for what felt like hours. But I never really said that I did them, for some reason I didn’t want to sound too smug about it.

“I was wondering if we could go get a coffee sometime,” I asked him. For some reason, I felt like being brave and asking him out.

“Here’s my number,” He replied,

“I’ll put it into my phone, easier than searching for a pen for thirty minutes.” I opened up my contacts to get ready to put his number into it, “I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll make sure to take you on that date.”

“Have a pleasant night Morgan. See you tomorrow.” He said, waving and walking off with a few other guys. I waited until I was the only one near the exit. Before heading off for the night.

A few hours after getting home, I still couldn’t believe I was talking to someone that good-looking and the fact that he was talking to me blew me away completely. I had his number saved on my phone, I couldn’t wait to tell Diana about what happened. In a few hours, I had an appointment with my therapist, so I couldn't wait to discuss it there as well. I didn’t care about much else for the rest of the night, although the sudden disappearance of my friend disappointed me. But the fact that I asked someone out made up for it in spades.

I picked up my cat and started dancing with him to my mother’s favourite song. Which proceeded nothing but confuse him more than he was five seconds ago. I had the energy to order pizza instead of cooking. I even got more dessert this time and I was preparing to watch a movie before heading to bed.

“Well, Mr Midnight I have done it. I finally asked someone out. I stepped out and just asked him out.” I said to my cat while in the shower. As he sat on the bath mat staring at me.

“I know, I didn’t think he’d be interested in me either. He’s one of the few people I would consider good-looking. I can see why a lot of women have a major crush on that guy.” I was still talking to my cat when Diana finally got home. She stumbled through the front door.

“Morgan, where are you?!” Diana slurred,

“In the bathroom, go drink a glass of water, you small drunkard.”

I walked out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, dressed in Winnie the Pooh pyjamas. As soon as I was about to ask her where she was the entire time, the pizza arrived and I just let her stumble into her room.

I then decided to just tell her what happened when she perked up.

“More pizza for me.” I thought to myself, “Pizza is here my fluffy bundle of darkness.” I said to my cat, after getting the pizza.

“Joys of the internet, pay for pizza before it gets here and you don’t even have to talk to the pizza delivery guy when it gets there.” I thought to myself, as I dug into the pizza.

“I made today a memorable day,” I whispered to my cat with a mouth full of pizza.

Although the thought that someone like Thomas Shelby would be interested in someone like me kept my head so far in the clouds that I wasn’t on earth anymore. It will certainly take time to adjust to the fact that he said he found me attractive. While I think he did all that and more, I even squealed like a teen girl into my pillow as I crawled into bed that night.

As the days rolled by, one after the other and the planned date came closer. Nerves finally started to kick in like crazy. “What if he doesn’t like me?” was one thought buzzing in her head.

“What if he’s doing this because Diana asked him to?"

“What if he doesn’t show up and just-” I freaked out, thinking this could be a practical joke.

[hel-phoenyx]

Are we doing this now

I guess we are.

The mandatory presentation (and a place to keep all my current tags)

So, it is I, Hel Phoenyx. You'll see my partners, friends and metamours calling me by my real name but if we are not well acquainted please don't. This is making me uncomfy.

I'm a 2000. It will be better than to update my age. So both on the old and young part, and I get either the best or the worst of both worlds-

Currently in a big-ass polycule that are worth mentionning here because I flirt, laugh with them or callout them quite regularly, even if one of my gfs out of two partners is not on Tumblr. What can I say, I love trashtalking (/pos) the metamours~

I have one sideblog, @creator-from-hel, where I keep all my art and only my art (and this is mostly with this account that I interact with reblogs of said art). Other than that, everything is a complete shithole and my tags are not enough to track down my content.

I use #hel is talking for my rambles, #hel got asks for my asks, #hel ocs for when I ramble about Emerens talk about my babies, #hel stories for when I talk about my universes, #hel's writer life when I rant about being a writer, #hel writing for my lil texts, and #hel polls when I make polls (that doesn't happen often).

Fandoms and things I post and reblog about under the cut :

My interests (what you're here for I presume)

As for my interests, the only thing not going away after a few weeks are my own creations. So that's also the only thing I tag.

Currently I have three fully fledged universes, one my own only and two shared with my friends.

For a quick little presentation :

We got Lysara IbRu'Aël, Azilis' Chronicles and La Peste Moderne.

Lysara IbRu'Ael is a fantasy saga stemmed from the deepest darkest dephts of Wattpad. Originally created with four people (me, @azeler and two other people I don't have the tumblr) it evolved until the Almighty Gf, @thal-ent and some other people that I do not go out with joined, and that's when we started truly writing the saga. Only one left active on that group are currently me, Az, Thal and the gf. The metamours came here later to do ttrpg campaigns in the universe or help us expand on the lore.

End with the creation story, let's start with the story : Lysara is a fantasy world heavily litterature-based where gods are Words and Words shape the world. The main saga follows my character Lina Frosilaen through an epic quest (several, in fact) but Lysara as a whole is a complete universe with LOADS of lore.

Next, Azilis Chronicles, is my personal trilogy. Its roots are very close from Lysara but Azilis took a whole other direction in terms of lore and construction of the world, so even if the characters are the same, fundamentally they are not.

It's still a fantasy world tho, with the same core principles as Lysara, but less litterature-based and more developped in the direction I would have taken Lysara, would I be the only one behind it.

And lastly my second shared universe with the partners, the metamours and LOTS of friends, a heavily-Danganronpa-inspired real world setting named La Peste Moderne !

To put the basis, La Peste Moderne is a world where geniuses are more and more common. But geniuses are also afflicted with a disease that nobody can comprehend, powerful enough to make them aggressive and push the world towards its end : Despair.

To counter that, the Japanese gouvernment had an idea (there is more lore behind it but no spoilers) : Organize each year experimental killing games, where sixteen geniuses are forced to kill each other and navigate through an incredibly hostile setting. This would allow to control the population of geniuses, and see how they react to Despair to at the end of it, give a solution against the world ending.

My stories in there are Le Bal des Pantins, The Art of Creating Hope and Abyss of Despair, but I also had involvment in three others as of right now.

Tags are #lysara for anything Lysara-related, #azilis chronicles for the Chronicles and #la peste moderne for everything that falls under La Peste Moderne. in there I have specific tags for my three stories but they're kind of irrelevant.

As for the rest... I am a ttrpg player, enjoy a lot of video games, is very into Pokemon Black and White, was an avid reader but now is more of an avid writer, and my fandoms can vary a lot so I don't tag them.

[tetrisdotcom]

i feel like i have to keep mentioning that im polish whenever i say "i hate poland" because xenophobia is very real and i've def experienced it through those kind of phrases ykno 😬

[cutetanuki-chan]

I didn’t plan base it on anything but while I was drawing I realize it turns out some mix of Rapunzel and Anastasia :””D

here’s the description of AU:

It's about 19th century vibe but maybe not quite similar to the real world Sasha ran away from home and living on the streets, life wasn't kind to her. She mostly goes by scamming people and all that stuff. 

After getting in another trouble she ran to hide into the woods, and eventually fell asleep there. When she wakes up, she sees a human figure, but it disappears as soon as it appears, and to Sasha's surprise she notices that some of her bruises have healed.

Later in the city, she overhears two men talking how one rich dude(Andriass) makes them scour every inch of the forest cause there were a rumors about a 'fairy' there, they talk about it mockingly and in disbelief but also say this man will pay a fortune to one who find it.

Sasha decides this might be her ticket out of shithole she's living in, so she went looking for it too, but when Marcy confronts her a second time Sasha knows better and at first just tries to get closer to her, later using some skills of lying and persuasion she convinces Marcy leave the woods.

Due to Sasha’s mishearing the name of the city and mistook it for another, their final destination appears to be way further that Sasha originally planned,  and with little to no cash in her pocket, it's going to be a long journey     

But it gives Sasha time to actually warm up to Marcy and genuinely have fun on this trip for the first time in years, and it pushes her to having a second thought about this whole affaire.    

I still thinking about other stuff but in general, Marcy can grow plants that she knows and can heal stuff: plants, trees and humans as well, on the wounded place will grow small flowers until its healed, but healing takes her energy. Sometimes when she's frustrated or angry she grows vines around herself that covers all of her body and becomes a 'plant ball' for a while.

Here’s a bit about Anne: she was Sasha's best friend before Sasha ran away without a word and ruined her relationships with Anne on purpose before that, so Anne's bitter. Sasha and Marcy ran into her when they’re approximately near Sasha’s hometown (but still not there cause Sasha’s avoiding it). Anne’s family engaged in fishing for a living so they own a boat, which Sasha will try to steal first day after meeting Anne again, she won't succeed tho.

[lilyundertaker]

April bullies day 12 - Mommy! part 1

Pairing: bully!Ran x reader;

Genre: TokRev AU, smut, one-shot;

Warnings: 18+, dub-con, physical abuse, blood, mnetions of stillbirth (not really tho), pregnancy (mentioned), lactation kink, titty sucking, mommy kink, vaginal penetration, creampie;

Synopsis: Ran and Rindou are surviving through getting other students lunch money as they have been orphaned and are living with a drunkard uncle. You are their new potential money bag, as you, a transfer student, have rich parents. Finding out some truth about you, Ran decides to make you their mommy.

Note: Don't ask me how I came up with something as sick as this, I'm still trying to figure it out myself LOL.

You thought that the transfer to Roppongi academy would be a blessing, taking into account that recently you’ve had a pregnancy, which was unfortunately unsuccessful as your child died in the first hour after birth. You were still experiencing the aftermath of your pregnancy, the most annoying being the fact that you were still producing milk like crazy, despite not even having a child anymore.

The new place seemed ok so far as your classmates seemed nice enough, that is until a person known as Ran entered the classroom like a king and sat on the teacher’s table. “I hear we have new meat in this class!” he shouted. “So where is the fucking newbie?” he demanded looking all around the classroom, trying to pinpoint the odd one out.

All of your classmates suddenly looked your way, making Ran release an evil giggle. “What an addition to this shithole.” He said in a fake-amazed tone, inching closer to you. “I guess no one has told you that as soon as you enter the school, you’re supposed to hand me in the weekly payment.” You shivered from the whispers that landed to your right ear and nearly jumping out of your skin as his arm touched your shoulder. The next thing what happened was his fist connecting with your belly and you nearly throwing up all of your breakfast. “That ought to be your lesson!” and it sure was.

The next day you brought in the weekly payment and hoped to be done with it, but the Haitani’s sure as hell weren’t done with you. You see, the Haitani brothers were like stray dogs fighting for scraps, orphaned at the age of 13 (for Ran) and 12 (for Rin) and forced to live with an alcoholic for an uncle. They were abused and starved, so the only way to fill their bellies was whether by stealing or beating up students for their money. The latter was always easier. You, still being a newbie, knew nothing of Haitani’s. In fact, you were the stark opposite of them – having your own apartment and rich parents that were doing more work oversees than being at home, so it wasn’t really difficult for you to live alone.

Money became the reason why the Haitanis would always pick on you, as you had more money than anyone else in the school. Other students sometimes gave up your hiding spots, thus saving their lunch money, whilst you were beaten up for hiding.

On one occasion you didn’t even bother to pick any money with you since the brothers would take it away from you anyways, but that proved to be a huge mistake as the brothers beat you up so hard that you began to bleed from your uterus. The sharp pain in your belly made you pass out and Rin sensing the danger thought to flee, whilst Ran insisted of getting you to the nurses office, fearing you might bleed out (he’s a guy with his ‘guy logic’).

The nurse explained that you are suffering the aftermath of a not-so successful pregnancy and you were still producing milk. That sentence alone made Ran’s mouth water. She was not only a money bag but a walking fridge. Ran volunteered to stay there until you wake, lock up the place and get you home safely, so that the nurse could catch her bus in time.

As soon as she was out of sight Ran lifted your shirt, his eyes sparkling upon seeing the wet spots on your bra. He tore it open from the front and gave your left nipple a lick, testing whether you’d wake up from the contact. Once your stillness was confirmed he latched his mouth to your breast and began sucking out the milk like a newborn. His eyes were closed, and he was enjoying every sip of it, loving the sweet taste of it. Ran felt his pants getting too tight for him as well, but at this moment it was more important to feed. He had already forgotten what a mother’s love felt like, how a mother’s soft touch felt like, how a mother’s moan…wait, his mother didn’t moan. Ran lifted his gaze seeing that you were still out cold, but you were unconsciously feeling the pleasure he gave you. “Fuck, mommy!”. He began sucking from the other breast, the milking flowing out of it even more than from the other.

Ran was nearly finished when all of a sudden you woke up. You were ready to scream with all your might, but the guy swiftly blocked it with his palm. “Don’t scream or you’ll be unconscious for a week!” an empty threat that worked perfectly, knowing how much valuable it would be to have you around.

He finally got to his erection, freeing his cock from it’s binds and lazily pulling down your trousers. Ran ordered you to get on your hands and knees and he entered you with full force, nearly knocking you off the bed. “Oh fuck mommy, who would’ve known that sucking your tits would make you this wet.” He exclaimed and ploughed into your whole without mercy, moaning out as loud as he could, knowing that the building was nearly deserted.

What Ran wasn’t aware of was his brother watching some parts of the scene, gripping his shirt with his teeth to block out his grunts of pleasure and pumping his cock as fast as he could.

Ran squeezed your breast, massaging them as some milk was still dripping out. It felt like ages since anyone had been fucking you and it would be a big fat lie if you’d say that you didn’t enjoy this. Ran’s cock skillfully abused your g-spot, making you gasp and moan from every contact with it. He had made you forget where you were as you also began to moan out shamelessly.

In a few thrusts run came inside of you and rubbed his right hand on your sensitive pearl to force an orgasm out of you as well.

He rearranged his clothing and helped you out with yours since you still felt some pain in your belly and the pleasure from your recent high. By the time Ran was locking up the nurse’s office, Rindou was already gone, rushing home flustered from the scene he had just witnessed. He didn’t get to finish as well so he was eager to masturbate his frustration out as soon as possible.

You’re gonna be such a good mommy for us, Ran thought as he accompanied you to your house.

[frenchlizardbrainfullofktdk]

Ten seconds late :chapter 1, part one

So i made a thing. It’s kinda sad. But we like the sad. They will be at least a second chapter. Enjoy.

(there’s death in this just so you know )

All might had left him on the roof after telling him his dream was impossible. Deku got down, he's now mindlessly walking home. Too mindlessly tho, as he trips .  His bag opens and a few notebooks fly out. He runs after them, but they thankfully land pretty soon somewhere on the sidewalk. He grabs them before placing them back in his bag. The whole ordeal completly unimportant, one might say :Barely ten seconds lost when didn't even have somewhere to go, did he ? ~~~~~~~~~ One second, Katchan was walking in a small street. One of those street the middle schoolers shouldn't hang out in at night. The whole neborhood of their school was a dangerous shithole. The next, what feels like an entire river of filth rushes on him from behind and swallows him. The green mud stills around him and prevents him from moving, but itself can move. And it slides along his body, the sludge trying to forcefully open his mouth and enter first his throat, then it would be his lungs, then his veins, and in the end, as he would know in half an hour, his entire body. First minute, he was angry, first five, furious. He wants to be the best hero, he has to win ! ......But as each additionnal minute passes, the long torture of being restrained and suffocated, slowly, minute by minute, for thirty of them, the sludge soaking throught him, the burning agony in his lungs and his blood mixed with mud unaturaly going backwards, it all **breaks** him. His old dreams become less and less important as all he wants is for it to stop. And those thirty minutes, those thirty minutes, are finaly touching their end.  He will not hold ten more seconds, it's almost over.  He glances over to the destruction his clouded eyes can barely see, the people who are watching him die, desparate for one, one to run free him, to reach out with their hands and pull him out. No one  comes.  And so, he dies. Pulled out of his body in a black, sensationless place. Where dreams don't exist, as you are out of time, of futur to dream of. ~~~~~~~~~ A green haired boy turns around the corner.  He reconises instantly the blond head captured by the villain. His head full with thoughts, so many thoughts, so many reasons pushing him foward, pushing to run to his childhood Friend.  He needs to help him, save him, **save him**. He's running to his classmate, throwing his bag to the villain.  Then he gets closer, expecting a BEAUTIFUL pair raging, living, red eyes to meet him.  Instead, he's met by the dull, lifeless irises of a dead body, that have out under the pressure.  Shocked for a moment he stops. His head an empty void.He barely feels himself be grabbed by a strong hand, brought next to the warm corps, and thrown in an alley nearby.  ~~~~~~~~~ The loud sound of of punch and air moving, an audience cheering, journalists taking photo, Deku hears none of them. He looks at the dead body and wishes for nothing but for the soul that left to come back. He doesn't even think of the last time they talked, where this soul, althought for it to regret it soon after, suggested in opposition, Deku's death. Didn't mater, Deku didn't want to keep living, the dread, utter despair of his Katchan's death outweighting any other desire or dream. This boy, the "quirkless" middle schooler had a complicated, tormented relationship him. But now that this same boy is dead, all he can think about is how he admired his strengh, his courage, his red ruby eyes, how this made want to be a hero.  How this admiration was love. So he wished for his love's life. Then, little did he knew, this was half the requirments for his quirk to activate.So he pushed with force the body back to the soul, the energy being taken out of his own life. The other half of the requirments had already been completed. When All Might went to check on the boys, all he found was corps in middle school uniform, with green hair.

Here’s the link to part two :

[cy-berbyte]

Giga-Brained Cog Bosses HC Hours Feat BG

- They are all evil bitches. All of them. Post over— KWHDJBAJFBAJ OKAY BUT FOR REAL THO:

Non-Romantic HCS:

- VP detests cream pies with all his being, but regardless, has still developed a sweet tooth. He’s tried “toon food” before(aka candy), but decided it’s not good enough for his “Superior Cog Tastebuds” so he’s had some of his workers “Improve” them. Now his favorite candies are high quality Bon Bons that are dark chocolate (SPECIFICALLY 100% cocoa, like the REAL bitter stuff) on the outside, with motor oil on the inside! Yum! :]

- The other bosses don’t admit it, but they do sometimes steal VP’s chocolates for themselves. And yes, a toon has been unfortunate enough to steal and (try to) eat one, and they were saddened on the spot.

- Out of all four of them, VP is the one with the sweetest, most charming, and outwards personality, and he gives the biggest shit about fashion.

- Whenever he thinks about what he would wanna do if he wasn’t evil, VP likes to imagine himself as a director to plenty of hit (commercials and) movies, and he imagines himself living in a super luxurious studio. He hates how the toons have raided his HQ so much so to the point where it looks like the massive shithole you see in-game.

- CFO, like VP, also cares immensely about how he looks, wearing expensive jewelry like rings n necklaces, but when he’s not counting his money, he prides himself in how he carefully spends(steals. He steals.) to have only the finest to fit his tastes. He loves how much cleaner his HQ looks, and his private abode prolly has shit like marble floors or tables.

- Basically? The guy is a massive snob when it comes to architecture, and thus he’ll often watch shows about awful, awful multi-million dollar apartments that look like absolute dogshit just so he can laugh at them and stroke his own ego about how much better his place looks.

- CFO of course hoards money and pretty things like a dragon, but one of his special favorite objects are these tiny trains he owns. He’s like those dads that have a cool little mini train collection/display, and he loves them to death. The only one who knows about them is the VP, mostly cuz the VP genuinely thinks it’s cool, and VP caught him messing with them by complete accident.

- If he ever goes anywhere special, he’ll always nab a little “memento” for himself to remember the occasion.

- The CFO is the massive short fuse, surprisingly. When he’s not being an arrogant cockshit, he’s the quickest to piss off and his anger rivals that of the CEO’s, especially when it comes to his money being stolen (I personally like to think he’ll sometimes yell “I’LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS.” when fighting toons).

- CJ, on the other hand, is as graceful and level-headed as you could imagine. If the boss cogs all go out for drinks one day-off, CJ would be the designated driver. He, of course, is the most serious and no-nonsense motherfucker.

- CJ’s unsurprisingly the smartest one of the cogs, his hobbies including reading law books and strategizing the most optimal ways to handle certain toon-related situations.

- Despite this, the judge is actually the most curious about learning new things, including toon behavior, thus he likes gathering information about everything himself when he’s able to.

- The judge is not actually blind, but he wears the blindfold because he has the ability to ‘see’ by sensing everything around him. He almost never opens his eyes because both his sight and his sense working at the same time is too much and thus overwhelms him. It’s considered his only “flaw” by the Chairman.

- The CJ often remarks that, if the world toons live in was not so painfully saturated, he’d actually find the flora... beautiful. He’d like to hang around Daisy Gardens the most.

- The blue muppet-lookin man absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, plays Microsoft solitaire on those old 90’s computers.

- The CEO may be as cocky and angry as the other bosses. However, he excels at the game of wits/cunningness and is absolutely the most chaotic motherfucker. It’s his way or the highway, he doesn’t care. The CEO gets what he wants when he wants, and if ANYTHING gets in his way, he’ll step on or control anyone to have his way and succeed. He can basically be the embodiment of “Murder, Manipulate, Mansplain”

- He’s the toughest out of the bunch. The CEO will absolutely be the one to start problems on purpose, he has the strongest guts and thus has no problem talking back to even the Chairman if he knows something’s not adding up.

- Golf is his main hobby, or lifestyle, of course. HOWEVER the CEO is also one to indulge in the ‘art of gambling’, as he puts it, and he’s pretty damn good at it! He loves raising the stakes and savors swindling the other bosses of their cogbucks, especially the CFO lol. Casinos are nice places to kick back and unwind at if the golf courses are undergoing maintenance!

- Being the final boss cog made, the CEO has the latest tech and runs with the least amount of issues or bugs. He likes to rub in the fact that he’s got the least amount of lag in his systems, the smoothest treads, etc.

- Roast-master supreme. Will absolutely have a toon’s entire bloodline rolling in their graves by the time he’s done roasting the fuck out of them.

- And speaking of roasts, the CEO is a very picky man when it comes to his things, such as his decor or his banquets. He will accept nothing less than perfection, nothing other than his ideal vision.

- CEO will play any kind of game if it peaks his interest, whether it be IRL or online, if it’s got a deal he can’t refuse, he’ll go for it... (This may or may not have resulted in him playing some unexpectedly-hilarious golf matches with Skipper on Kirby’s Dream Course)

-Out of all of the other cogs, the CEO is the lightweight when it comes to alcohol.

[i-did]

HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why. 

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first. 

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it. 

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting. 

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family. 

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that). 

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then. 

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before. 

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

[i-am-the-balancing-point]

OC PROFILE

the lovely @henbased​ ​ tagged me to do this and I finally took a break from cooking up some fanart (literally for this very OC lmao). this is gonna be a treat! 💕

everything under the cut [look at this pretty picture of my funky queer little bastard tho, I love her!]

GENERAL

name: Gigi (I guess her last name is Rook? I mean it’s my character but I literally don’t know)

alias(es): Rookie and Dep of course but also Bitch (affectionately)

gender: female, mostly I think

age: 26

birthdate: Aug 4

place of birth: some shithole in the woods, I wouldn’t know

hometown: Missoula, Montana (nobody tell anyone that I just came up with this on the spot solely because I like the way Missoula sounds, this is a secret between you, the internet and me now shhh)

spoken languages: English, some rudimentary Norwegian and Spanish (ja, jeg snakker litt norsk hehe)

sexual preference: none. we just be horny 4 everyone.

occupation: literally Junior Deputy of the Hope County Sheriff’s Department 🤠

APPEARANCE

eye color: dark brown

hair color: very dark brown

height: 1,60m

scars: some on her arms, mostly scratches from cats (big and small) and running around in the bushes after that fateful night of the helicopter crash on Joseph’s property and even more on her legs. pretty much all from having a very active childhood, scraping her knees and shins often and picking at the scabs - a habit she has yet to quit even as an adult.

then of course there are the sins she got from John. I still cannot decide if he marked her with wrath or pride (which I definitely think would at least be my sins, this bitch be furiously wrathful!) but she definitely got ✨lust✨ on her hip as a lovely little bonus from our favourte baptist/amateur tattoo artist.

FAVOURITE

color: lemon yellow

hair color: she doesn’t really have any but I’d still consider her at least a fan of a soft shiny brown

eye color: pretty much the same, she doesn’t really have any

song: Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Cass Elliot (but also Reptile by NIN (and Closer, of course))

food: the ikea vegan hot dog. seriously. (listen its US release almost lines up with the FC5 timeline so I’m just gonna indulge in the fantasy and go ahead) no pickles tho. and she has an almost unhealthy obsession with mentos.

non-alcoholic drink: orange juice and ginger beer

alcoholic drink: everything that gets you drunk fast, except for vodka - oh sophisticated teenage years. Gigi can appreciate a nice beer though if it’s not too bitter. pretends to like Guiness but nobody knows or gets why.

HAVE THEY..

passed university: I like to imagine she went to community college.

had sex: yes

had sex in public: maybe 👀

gotten pregnant: the occasional dollar store tests bought in a panic fortunately always said no

kissed a boy: yes

kissed a girl: yes

gotten tattoos: something else I only have a vague idea about. I do wanna say yes, because - and I literally came up with this yesterday - I can imagine John has taken special interest in this smol bundle of rage so to be an extra meanie to his bratty bitch he gave her an Eden’s Gate symbol tattoo just below the neck, between her shoulder blades when she got her scars to basically brand her as the Project’s property... Is that too extra?

gotten piercings: earrings only (she has toyed with the idea of getting a belly button piercing though)

been in love: because I am Gigi is a sappy little ass, she constantly falls in love with the people around her and life itself :) and we love to see it

stayed up for more than 24 hours: yes, but it was no fun for everyone involved

ARE THEY…

a virgin: no

a cuddler: Y E S

a kisser: not a big one, but she’s most certainly not averse to it

scared easily: not really scared but it’s unfortunately easy to spook her

jealous easily: sadly yes. she does her best to work on it though and not let it affect her relationships

trustworthy: hell yes! this bitch will protect you, your family and your seecrets if you need them to

dominant: only outside of the bedroom

submissive: yes, sexually (but doesn’t like to admit it)

in love: with literally everyone who has ever been kind to her and their dog

single: yes. wait! does having and absolute queen of a workwife, Deputy Joey Hudson, count tho?

RANDOM QUESTIONS (tw for self harm/suicide mention)

have they harmed themselves: except for occasional binge drinking in her late teens, no

have they thought about suicide: yes (haven’t we all?)

have they attempted suicide: no

wanted to kill someone: each and every day ✨

have/had a job: yes. she is literally the Deputy. hehe

have any fear(s): being alone/lonely and without love; NOT being alone when she should be; not being properly prepared for sudden desaster

FAMILY

(I’m leaving this blank because I have literally never thought about this stuff and I would honestly rather keep it that way. My dep just started existing one day. Poof!)

siblings:

parents:

children:

significant other:

pets:

I tag @yeetslovescheese, @josephslittledeputy and everyone else who wants to do this! I would love to read about all of your characters. ♡