Hi! This may be a dumb idea, so feel free to ignore it.
I am a firm believer that Steve would have a flinch response of some kind to the word bullshit because of Nancy and would love to see him work through it? And all I can think of is the card game? So if someone (Eddie) had noticed his reactions to the word and tried to help him through it by having the gang play the game that would be cool? Especially if Eddie noticed pre-relationship, helps Steve through it, Steve figured out what he was doing, and by the end they’re together?
Once again, if this idea is dumb you can ignore it, I won’t be offended!
:)
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! I kind of changed it up a bit because I didn't really think Steve would be super comfortable with everyone being involved because none of those kids know how to just let shit go and he wouldn't want them to look at or treat Nancy any differently. I did have to google the game because it's been a solid 10 years since I've played and I was probably not sober when I did 😂 Hope you like what I did here and will send more requests if you haven't already! - Mickala ❤️
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He’d gotten over it. He told himself he was over it. He convinced himself he was over it.
But he heard Nancy tell Mike it was bullshit that she always had to cover for him with their parents when he stayed out past curfew, and it was like she was spitting it in his face instead.
He visibly recoiled, the air in his lungs suddenly rushing out of his nose.
Nobody noticed, but it took him a minute to catch his breath, to focus back on the fact that Nancy wasn’t talking to him, wasn’t calling him bullshit.
—--
But then bullshit became Dustin’s favorite word and Steve didn’t know what to do about it.
He jokingly started saying “language” every time he said it, but Dustin was a stubborn kid, and Steve was too in his head to actually commit to getting him to stop.
He threw it around like it was nothing, and to him, it was nothing. He hadn’t had someone he loved call him bullshit.
He started to find reasons to avoid giving him rides. He would pick up extra shifts, pretend he fell asleep early, say he had a migraine. It all worked.
But he didn’t notice how Eddie started to get suspicious that he was now Dustin’s ride to everything, that Dustin was starting to worry that he’d done something to upset Steve, that Steve was ignoring everyone.
Eddie knew he had to talk to Steve alone, maybe get high with him so his defenses were down a bit, and find out what the hell was going on.
But Steve was good at this, avoiding people.
He was never completely alone at work, always a coworker or customer keeping him too busy to talk. He never answered his house phone anymore, and even though they all knew he was listening for the radio, he ignored that too. Eddie tried just showing up at his house at random times when he knew he wasn’t working, but he either wasn’t home or was doing a great job of pretending to be asleep.
Until he got lucky and caught him as he was walking out the door one morning, probably not expecting anyone to be awake this early and standing in his driveway.
Steve startled, but pasted on that fake smile that Eddie hated.
“Hey, Eds. Didn’t know you were stopping by. Everything okay?”
“I dunno, Stevie. Is everything good?”
Steve gulped.
“Everything’s fine.”
“That’s good. I just figured I’d check since you practically went invisible on us for the last three weeks. Dustin’s considered sending Hopper for a wellness check.”
“Oh. I’m fine. Just busy, ya know?”
Eddie searched his face, already knowing he was lying.
“That’s bullshit, Steve.”
He watched as Steve curled into himself, probably not even realizing he was doing it, and confirming at least some of Eddie’s suspicions.
“What’s going on with you?”
Eddie wasn’t leaving until he had answers and he certainly wasn’t about to let Steve hide away.
The kids missed him, Robin missed him, Eddie missed him.
Steve looked like he was fighting back tears when he looked back up at Eddie.
“I’m sorry I’m bullshit, it’s all bullshit, and I can’t make it better, make me better.”
“What? Stevie, you’re not making any sense.”
“I keep messing everything up. Even when I try to be better, to be good, it doesn’t fucking matter because I’m still bullshit..”
And now he was crying.
Shit. What the hell?
Eddie didn’t waste any time, stepping into Steve’s space and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into his chest and making sure he had a safe place to cry.
He got the idea that Steve had probably never had a safe place to cry before.
He slowly walked them back into the house, frowning further when he realized the front door wasn’t even locked. Was Steve actually leaving his house unlocked? After everything they’d been through, he guessed maybe a regular old robber was the least of his worries, but still.
He managed to get to the couch in the living room, slowly sitting down and pulling Steve down next to him.
Steve wasn’t crying anymore, or at least he was being much quieter, his tears soaking the shoulder of Eddie’s shirt so much it was hard to tell if more was being added.
“Stevie? You’re not bullshit.” He felt Steve flinch against him, but continued. “I’m not sure who told you that you were, but you can’t let that control you so much. You’re the best guy I’ve ever met besides Wayne and I’m still thinking he’s just the Patron Saint of Patience.”
Steve let out a small snort of laughter and Eddie considered that a win.
But his brain was still going 90 miles a minute, thoughts running laps in his head as he thought about something Robin told him a few months ago.
She didn’t tell him any details, would never betray Steve’s trust like that, but she’d mentioned that any chance of Steve getting back with Nancy had been left in the bathroom of Tina’s party.
Eddie, despite what most people thought, was pretty intelligent. He could usually connect dots even when the lines between were spiraling to other dots as a distraction.
So this particular line between what Robin said, and what Steve was saying now about how he was bullshit, suddenly connected in his mind.
“Did Nancy say that to you?”
Steve pulled away, face suddenly blank.
“It wouldn’t matter who said it if they’re right.”
“I can’t believe I thought you were still in love with her this whole time.”
“What? No. I haven’t been in love with her in years.”
“Why are you even still friends? She really said that to you?”
“We’ve moved on. We were both going through a lot and she didn’t mean it.”
“I hate to say it, Stevie, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve moved on at all.”
“What do you mean?”
Eddie watched as Steve tried to work it out on his own. Eddie loved the face he made when he was confused. He loved every face Steve made.
Snap out of it, Munson.
“Well, if hearing it in passing upsets you so much that you avoid your entire family for weeks, you aren’t over it.”
He let that sink in, watching as Steve’s face went through all the stages of grief in less than a minute.
“I’m not avoiding everyone.”
“Steve, you are. And I’m sure everyone will understand if you just explain.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Okay, then you can just say you had a busy few weeks and now you’re not.”
“Dustin says it a lot.”
“Says what?”
Eddie knew, but he needed Steve to say it. He needed him to stop associating that word with himself.
“Why are you gonna make me say it?”
“Because you need to stop thinking it’s an adjective that describes you. You’re the farthest thing from bullshit.”
Steve flinched again, but recovered quickly.
How long had this been happening that no one noticed? How long had Eddie not noticed?
“Alright! I have an idea.” Eddie got up and went to the closet in the hall that held all the stuff for when the kids came over. Movies, tapes and records, extra blankets and pillows, changes of clothes, books, school supplies, cards. Eddie grabbed the closest deck of cards and walked back to the couch. “We’re gonna call Robin and we’re gonna play a game.”
“What game?”
“Bullshit.”
Another flinch.
God, Eddie felt so stupid for not noticing this sooner, not putting the pieces together earlier.
“How will that help?”
“Because you’re going to hear the word so much, and we’re going to have so much fun, that you won’t be able to think negatively about it anymore.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
That was a possibility. It could end up making things worse, causing more stress for Steve. But if there was anything he learned from his months of therapy, it was that exposure to something negative enough would leave you feeling indifferent to it eventually.
“If it doesn’t work, you can push me into the pool with all my clothes on in the middle of winter. Deal?”
“Fine.”
They shook on it, Eddie letting his hand linger for a bit too long in Steve’s, only letting go when Steve raised his brows at him.
Eddie called Robin, who was not thrilled about having to get out of bed on a Saturday before ten, but did it anyway when Eddie explained what it was for.
She’d finally gotten her license two months ago and her mom let her use her car on weekends, so she promised to leave as soon as she was dressed.
Eddie immediately called Dustin, just to let him know Hellfire was off for the day and to tell everyone. Dustin threw a fit, said it was bullshit, said he can’t just cancel with no intention of rescheduling, and Eddie hung up on him.
He’d have a conversation with him later.
Steve had gone upstairs to change, said he wanted to be comfortable for this and his jeans and polo weren’t really lounging around clothes.
So Eddie waited for Robin, and he waited for Steve to come back downstairs, and he thought about how much he hated Nancy Wheeler in that moment.
He’d gotten close to her when he was trying to graduate. She helped him study so he could pass the finals he needed to, even without being able to be in class because of being stuck in the hospital for so long. He helped her pack for college, offering up his van as a thank you for all she’d done to help him. He called to talk with her weekly.
All this time, she was at least some of the reason that Steve had negative feelings about himself.
Sure, Eddie could guess that his parents had a lot to do with it too, but this was somehow worse.
He’d trusted Nancy.
Steve came down just as Robin was walking in the front door, bag of chips in hand.
“It’s nine in the morning. I can cook breakfast,” Steve said to her.
“Nah, chips are a necessary staple for card games no matter the time.”
No one argued with her as they sat around the kitchen table.
Eddie dealt the cards out, explaining the rules as he went, though they all had played before. He added a rule though.
“Every time someone calls bullshit on Steve, we have to say one thing that we like about him. Good with you, Robbie?”
Robin smirked. “Perfect.”
Steve didn’t argue, probably because he knew he wouldn’t win against them, so they got started.
The first round went pretty smoothly. Steve ended up never having to lie, and nobody called bullshit on him. He barely flinched when Robin called it on Eddie the first two times, and didn’t at all the third time.
But the second round started and Steve was not having any luck. He got away with his first lie, but he knew Robin could tell he got away with it and she wouldn’t be going easy on him next time.
Next time happened to be his next turn.
He placed down the card that should’ve been an 8, but was actually a Jack. He confidently said 8. Or thought he did.
“BULLSHIT!”
He felt his hands shaking, but he did his best to ignore it as he turned the card over to show she was right.
It was bullshit.
“I love that you always try to show interest in what we all like even if you don’t really like it. Like when El started crocheting and nobody would help her understand the instructions, but you sat with her for hours while she worked it out and helped read the instructions to her when she had her hands busy.”
Eddie was smiling and nodding along like he agreed.
“That’s just what friends do.”
“Maybe. But none of her other friends were doing it, were they?”
Yeah, okay. Steve nodded and they moved on.
But his luck was long gone now, and his next card had to be a lie too.
“Bullshit.” This time Eddie called it.
Steve was doing his best not to cry, but something about hearing that pointed at him from Eddie made him feel worse.
“I love that you always hug the kids. Saying hello, saying goodbye, when you’re proud of them. You aren’t afraid to show them affection.”
Eddie was giving him a fond smile, but Steve couldn’t do anything except nod.
He couldn’t say that Eddie’s plan was really working, but maybe he needed to give it more time.
He made it through the rest of that round fine, not having to lie again, and only having to call bullshit on Robin once.
But their next round seemed to turn into them calling it on him every turn, regardless of if they thought he was lying or not.
“The way you make us all feel important.”
“Your laugh is contagious and it’s fun to see how easily it spreads through the group when you get started.”
“You always have dinner for us when we come over, and it’s always so good. Like you’ve spent the whole day making sure it’s perfect and you want us to enjoy it.”
“You never let us face anything alone. We can always rely on you to be there in whatever way we need the second we need you. No questions asked.”
Steve still flinched every time they called bullshit, but it was getting easier to move on from it and hear their compliments.
Finally, on Steve’s last turn, Eddie called it on him.
He watched as Eddie glanced over at Robin, then back at Steve, blush coloring his cheeks.
“I love that you hold my hand when we’re smoking outside because you know it helps me stay grounded and not get lost in my thoughts too much. I love that if I fall asleep on the couch, you cover me with a blanket and lay down next to me so I don’t wake up alone. I love that you always pack an extra cookie in your lunchbox just in case I visit you at work. I love that you put your entire reputation on the line to make sure I got the best care a person can have in the hospital, and even after with the physical therapy and regular brain therapy. I love that you keep finding ways to show me that sometimes popular and mainstream things are okay.” Eddie gave him a more confident smile. “I love everything about you.”
“That was more than one,” Steve said breathlessly.
“Yeah, hard to pick just one thing when I love you this much.”
“What?”
Steve was so confused. Eddie had been nice saying the things he did before, but this? There was no way he meant it.
Not the way Steve was hoping he did.
“Can you two just kiss before I puke?” Robin complained.
Eddie looked at him, a surprisingly calm smile on his face.
“Only if Stevie wants me to.”
“Mhm. Yes. Please do that,” Steve rushed out, not sure what the hell was happening, but not wanting to wait for it to change.
Eddie was up from his seat and kneeling in front of Steve in seconds, one hand on his knee and one on his cheek.
Steve wasn’t breathing. He was barely even able to focus on Eddie on his knees in front of him.
Eddie leaned in slowly, giving Steve a chance to back away if he wanted to.
But he didn’t want to.
He wanted to feel Eddie’s lips on his more than anything.
And he did.
They were surprisingly soft, but firm and demanding, making sure Steve followed him instead of the other way around.
He could distantly hear Robin eating chips, but didn’t bother to tune in to whatever she was complaining about, just enjoying the sensation of having Eddie’s lips and hands on him.
It did end though.
“You know what’s bullshit?” Steve asked.
Eddie’s eyes widened in question.
“The fact that we have to stop kissing.”
Eddie let out a loud laugh and leaned in to kiss him again.
“You know what’s bullshit to me?”
“Hm?”
“That you ever thought for one second that you weren’t amazing.”
Steve blushed, but looked at the way Eddie was looking at him.
Like he loved him. For real. No bullshit.
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