#Promotions are like generational trauma in a way idk

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

[andreablog2]

The most cut throat toxic industries are going to the ones where your income can sky rocket or you can be blacklisted at any moment and it’s so clearly not based on merit just on how well you get along a people and can network ..especially if there’s an overwhelming sense of fun. Hospitality is kind of at the cusp of this and more straight forward career paths in a way but anyone that’s worked in a restaurant knows what I’m talking about. There’s no making sense of that kind of stuff and it creates so much resentment and quiet cynicism in people early on in life. which just perpetuates the problem bc even if you’re one of the good ones that ends up in a position of power….you’re going to be both so stuck emulating your environment and trying to make up for the time you spent being abused in some way.

[shinozaki-ayumi]

Ok I'm just going to post it lol.

I’ve had this theory about Dead Patient (but I guess now Darkness Distortion too) for ages, but I always felt it was too insane and I was just coping. BUT I finally saw someone on Twitter make a similar connection so I feel comfortable enough to put it out there now.

All my thoughts under the cut! Will contain some spoilers for Blood Drive and Dead Patient if you are new to the series and want to avoid those.

First, regarding Dead Patient:

So I've basically always had this theory that Ayame Itou might somehow actually be Ayumi inside her own Nirvana experiencing amnesia, and that her Nirvana took the shape of a hospital because… idk. I guess because she’s been effectively disabled since the end of Blood Drive and probably has to be in the hospital more often? If I’m remembering correctly, Yoshiki mentions in the Dead Patient drama CD that he has to bring Ayumi to the hospital, so maybe it’s the same one?

Either way it was a very incomplete “theory” and more something I thought up because it would be a fun fic idea lmao. DP isn't finished so there isn't really enough material to build a theory off of; I was mostly going off of their names sounding familiar, the amnesia thing, and the fact that the very first thing we see in DP is a catatonic Ayumi, implying that she is relevant to the story somehow. But I looked a bit more into it and there are a few things here and there that I’ve had some fun theorizing about, even if it's a stretch.

#1: This limited edition alternative costume for Ayame. They could’ve picked any character, but they picked Ayumi (this is a massive stretch, I just thought it was neat and could potentially carry some hints under the guise of a meaningless costume).

#2: The way Ayame’s name is written in hiragana, not kanji. This is pretty uncommon in Corpse Party characters. The vast majority of them use kanji -- except Sachiko (サチコ), Yoshikazu (ヨシカズ), and Yoshie (ヨシヱ), whose names are written in katakana; and Sayaka (さやか) and Ayumi (あゆみ), whose names are in hiragana. Again also a stretch, but an interesting correlation given how their names already sound similar.

And #3: This aspect of Ayame’s background, which is left pretty vague. Since this is a fan wiki I double-checked their source and it does say this in official material. The vagueness of it is obviously meant to correlate to Ayame’s amnesia, but it also leaves it open to the interpretation that maybe an amnesiac Ayumi has trauma-informed responses to these things due to her experiences in HH (even if she doesn’t remember it concretely).

Either way I didn’t really expect this idea to hold any ground and mostly put it away in the back of my mind as a silly thing to build my own post-Blood Drive headcanons with. Certain inconsistencies also existed that made me believe it wasn't possible and I was just looking into it too much (e.g., Ayame's last name is Itou, which both looks and sounds nothing like Shinozaki, so the name similarity point kind of falls off track).

Now, with Darkness Distortion:

We have another character named "Ayame." The ritual/curse in Darkness Distortion is called Ayame's Mercy. In general, people are under the impression that the girl in a wheelchair seen in promotional material is Ayame. I mean, this part of the trailer probably all but confirms that:

Ayumi is also in a wheelchair as of the end of Blood Drive/beginning of Dead Patient:

This time around, the name comparison also holds a bit more value, I think. Darkness Distortion's Ayame's full name is Ayame Kirishima. Someone I follow on Twitter pointed something out about how this new name sounds:

Translation: “I’m saying this very quietly, but, if ‘Ayame-san’ is ‘Ayumi,’ then wouldn’t her surname(?), ‘Kirishima,’ become ‘Kishinuma’?”

We know that Yoshiki is basically Ayumi's caretaker post-Blood Drive (or at least becomes her caretaker sometime between the end of Blood Drive and the start of Dead Patient) and she presumably lives with him. So I suppose it wouldn't be entirely unbelievable that an only semi-conscious or amnesia-riddled Ayumi would latch onto his name as a form of self-identification or just genuinely mistake it for her own?

The question obviously remains whether Ayame Ito and Ayame Kirishima are the same character. I don't really think it's just a coincidence they have the same first name and the setting is a hospital again. The Ayumi connection is questionable, but after getting more thoroughly reacquainted with Blood Drive (I hadn't played it since it came out 10 years ago. Oops) I feel like it's not entirely crazy to think Ayumi could have manifested her own Nirvana like Sachiko did. Maybe Ayame Ito and Ayame Kirishima function similarly to the White Sachiko and Red Sachiko in Blood Covered? (i.e., two separate manifestations of the same soul representing different emotions).

Idk. I don't expect any of this to be true lol. But it's fun to theorize while we wait for real answers.

[itsclydebitches]

Hi Clyde, I adore your metas. I can't help but feel that the way team RWBY has been handling Jaune's situation is eerily similar to how thet behaved with Ironwood back in V7: withholding trust and compassion to an ally who needs both, being dismissive of them and their plans while benefitting from them (getting shelter, weapons, licenses, a possible way out of the Ever After), and then making decisions that shatter the foundations of their trust and potentially trigger their trauma (hide crucial information, leak secrets to an opponent, celebrate the mass 'sacrifice' of the people Jaune sought to protect and questioning important knowledge he's been holding onto for years).

There's also this repeated mistake of listening to someone random for two seconds (Robyn, the cute paper person) and then quickly deciding that they know better than the ally who's been working on this for decades.

I really hope the writers take at least one simple scene to make the protagonists acknowledge that they've been in this situation before and maybe learn from their mistakes in Atlas so they don't repeat them in the Ever After with Jaune, but they've already given that 'that's how Ironwood thought' line like sharing his POV is such an outlandish thing, when to me that was the perfect opportunity to reflect on how perfectly decent people can reach that conclusion too when faced with difficult circumstances. But idk, what do you think, Clyde?

I'm so glad you enjoy them, anon! <3

Oh man, I feel like you've just articulated one of the reasons I have little faith in this Jaune vs. Ruby argument going somewhere, despite the argument itself giving me a lot of what I've been waiting for. This does feel like we've seen it before, which likewise generates the feeling that it will end the same way as Volume 8 . To summarize + add to what you've listed above:

The group enters Atlas, a foreign culture to all but Weiss / The group enters the Ever After, a foreign culture to all but Jaune

They spend time wandering aimlessly until a battle results in their arrest / They spend time wandering aimlessly until a battle results in their rescue

They're immediately given food, shelter, and weapon upgrades / They're immediately given food, shelter, and Crescent Rose back

The group learns that Ironwood has been shouldering everything alone, resulting in mental health struggles / The group learns that Jaune has been shouldering everything alone, resulting in mental health struggles

They express discomfort, annoyance, and a low-key fear rather than sympathy / 🔁

Ironwood admits that not everything is solved yet, but he has a plan to re-establish communications / Jaune admits that not everything is solved yet, but he has a plan to try and find a way out

The group is frustrated that their problems aren't solved now that they've arrived / 🔁

Ironwood promotes them into a new position of authority, huntresses / Jaune promotes them into a new position of authority, defenders of the Paper Pleasers

Doing everyday Huntsmen activities is met with more frustration and a casual dismissal of its importance / 🔁

The girls immediately trust Robyn with no evidence despite being wary of allies / The girls immediately trust this one Paper Pleaser despite being wary of their ally

Ren calls the group out on their horrific mistakes and is immediately dismissed / Jaune calls Ruby out on her horrific mistakes and immediately apologizes

There's a lot of questioning about Penny's worth as a person until Ruby decides she needs to be human / There's some questions about the worth of the Paper Pleasers as people until Ruby decides they're "make believe"

Penny commits assisted suicide and that's celebrated by the story (via her happy reunion with Winter / The Paper People commit suicide and that's celebrated by the story (via Ascension)

Atlas is left in ruins, regardless of how 'necessary' that was to escape / The village is left in ruins, regardless of how 'necessary' that was for them to Ascend

Obviously there are going to be some similarities due to Volume 9 continuing the themes and questions of Volume 8, but yeah, it really feels like the group is walking the same path and making the same mistakes: find someone knowledgeable, powerful, and compassionate, doubt them because they haven't fixed every problem, further doubt them because their struggles have led to deteriorating mental health (the fact that we're supposed to be feeling for Ruby in the same episode that Jaune is labeled crazy...), dismiss the personhood of non-human entities (WHAT HAPPENED TO "SQUISHY GUTS" BEING UNNECESSARY? My Nuts and Dolts heart aches for old Ruby), then shrug off leaving a place destroyed because hey, you've gotta do what you've gotta do. Rinse and repeat, I guess.

All that's left is for Jaune to unexpectedly go off the deep end in a completely OOC manner, resulting in him trying desperately to do some good in his final moments while Team RWBY escape the Ever After, presumably leaving him to die :/

(Obviously idk what they're going to do with Jaune - it's a tricky situation, to say the least - but if they don't go the easy route of, "Then the tree magicked him young again and we'll never mention that he's mentally in his 50s!" I honestly wonder if they'd kill him off. I have problems with how Jaune is written, specifically in how he's prioritized by the plot over the girls, but I do not want him to meet an Ironwood-esque end.)

[tumbleclub]

Some elaboration on options under cut. Feel free to add more in the comments if you want to propagandize (encouraged, I'm not necessarily the best person to promote other people's submissions lol)

Artificial Condition: seems reasonable to continue the series. also if you read the first one you know if you want to continue and if you didn't uh. idk go back and read the first one and then vote lol

Black Sails: considered by at least a few people following this blog to be one of the best TV series of all time, starts off seeming like a gritty pirate show but quickly dives into themes of social alienation, storytelling, and identity among other things

Ancillary Justice: kind of like Murderbot's cousin series, not similar in tone or scope but similarly follows an AI/human construct sort of character trying to figure out what it means to be herself after being separated from the majority of her other parts (? this is hard to explain lol). Much broader space-opera-ish scifi with some great worldbuilding re: different cultures in space.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet: kind of a cozy-ish queer space story, has a lose overarching plot but is more an episodic look at a very diverse crew of a small spaceship going on a long journey and learning more about each other. also has some very interesting Space Cultures and worldbuilding.

The Bedlam Stacks: @loyalhorror you do this one

Twilight: Twilight.

The Amulet of Samarkand: young adult fantasy book about a kid (Nathaniel) summoning a 5,000 year old djinni (Bartimaeus) to take revenge on a magician who humiliated him. Bartimaeus is a very fun, snarky character who has a lot of the 'ugh i don't care about humans (except for a few maybe)' character trope going on, and Nathaniel is pretty well written as a precocious kid who is nonetheless still a kid. Also has a lot to do with underlying themes of corruption in government

The Echo Wife: near-future sci-fi. the main character is an accomplished scientist in the field of cloning whose husband cheats on her with.......her own clone. but it's not about that, the husband dies and she has to cooperate with her clone to deal with the whole mess. The book goes very deeply into themes about identity and trauma.

How to Do Nothing: a non-fiction book/memoir-ish about slowing down in a busy world and connecting with the life around you. not really a self-help book, really more a loose and gentle philosophical exploration about how to exist in our world.

A Paradise Built in Hell: a non-fiction book going in depth about a handful of real-life disasters (1906 earthquake in San Francisco; 1917 explosion in Halifax, Nova Scotia; 1985 Mexico City earthquake; 9/11; Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans) and how the surrounding community reacted to them. Basically explores how the general public comes together to build extraordinary communities in terrible situations.

The Golden Compass: a fantasy novel about the young Lyra traveling across continents to help rescue her friend Roger from being kidnapped. Famous for the daemon aspect, where every character has an animal-form companion who is another manifestation of their soul (more or less?). A little bit of a straight-forward fantasy book at first but is the lead-up to a philosophically complex dimensional-jumping trilogy.

[hamofjustice]

it's nice that we're getting anything i guess, but, i'm gonna be what may come off as a little petty and whiny here; it'd be cool if either iteration of the gen 9 anime so far was actually about gen 9's characters instead of using them as cameos to promote original stories we have no investment in yet

it's like, i dunno, like the bait and switch with sonic appearing in wreck it ralph ads, except if wreck it ralph existing meant there would never be a sonic movie, and if you were invested in those characters and recognized they weren't generic platformer mascots, sucks for you, nobody cares

maybe they're just giving the DLC space to do its thing with them first (if they do anything at all...) but idk, i was cautiously optimistic about nemona in horizons, only for her to be a character of the day that the episode wasn't about, and pretty excited by "gen 9 prequel anime" only to find out it's going to be like, four short stories about OCs who have quick brushes with them. these are like the lacroix hint of what an anime about the game could've been like and you're left to imagine the rest yourself

i shouldn't be that surprised if the gen 8 anime reduced hero of galar hop to a character of the day with a level 5 wooloo in order to let the galaxy revolve around ash battling his brother because epic charizards, but man. what if it wasn't like that that now that ash is gone.

we haven't seen penny and team star at all because they're the hardest to talk about without bringing up the trauma of school bullying and the fear of being yourself at school when you're way too young to be dealing with all that drama responsibly. she's still learning to love and forgive herself and feel wanted.

arven's story is about, like, being a latchkey kid to a self-absorbed parent, being unsure how to feel about repairing the relationship or how seriously to take them saying they love him, and struggling to make friends due to misdirected resentment toward people he's jealous of for having apparently normal families and the stubborn self-reliance he was forced into. he's still trying to process things, find himself, and let people in.

nemona is supposed to have been a directionless lonely and depressed kid who hated being called gifted when everything was hard for her, until she met the player character and gained a peer who understood and appreciated she was a little different and she didn't have to mask her true self to have friends anymore. she's happy for now, but may still be under a little too much pressure to be perfect at the expense of her own personality, and probably won't deal well with being abandoned.

as much as they resonate with adults and are a little darker than usual pokemon fare, they're also smaller scale and realer. they are all stories that are explicitly about and meant to be relatable to kids going to school! y'know, your audience! you don't need to paint over them with 3-4 new characters and new stories every time like there was nothing there, or something shameful you need to sanitize and cover up! you can just use the game the way it is!

this got a little more heated than i intended, i just feel a little ridiculous waiting anxiously for loose scraps of a sign that this story isn't over and in the trash already and nemona's life-changing attachment to the player character isn't going to go totally ignored, as we are bombarded with what is supposed to be followup material that almost all seems eager to talk about literally anything else like they think the main story was a mistake they need to run away from

now, i'm not one to complain about original stories being told, but this was already a story that had room to grow. imagine a world where the gen 9 anime was actually about nemona, arven, penny, and the friend who brought them together. or what their lives were like before that friend came along. every episode. that would get me to watch the anime again and whatever movie came out for it. ask yourself why we don't have that, or even the traditional, like, 1-2 characters tagging along with the MCs per region thing that would leave us knowing them better than we know some irl friends

how was starting over with 100% original characters and new lore that might conflict hard with the upcoming DLC the safer bet? why is a 44 minute miniseries specifically for fans of the game making up OCs for them to get invested in and scrambling to tell their stories as quickly as possible before throwing them in the trash instead of being about the damn game?

sigh. i shouldn't get invested in a series that's about selling monster plushies just because it had one story that stuck with me

[kurokoros]

I know you wanted bitchy ST anons yesterday but your recent St/ncy reblog kinda inspired me, I hope that's okay.

Idk the thing about St/ncy that irritates me the most is that those who ship it blame the end of that relationship on Steve. And now that he has changed, it's fine and dandy. First of all Nancy isn't a price but also why is Steve the one to change and not her, when she was the reason why it didn't work in the first place? Like you said even in s1, we could see her actively pining after Jonathan while being with Steve. He was always the second choice to her, she even admits that to Jonathan in s2. St/ncy shippers want Steve to be happy, then why do you ship him with the girl who cheated on him? Just because he still has feelings for her doesn't mean she would be good for him.

Also the whole Steve being a bad boyfriend is simply not true, idc how hard the Duffers want to promote this point. People say Steve never listened to Nancy and didn't take her trauma seriously, but when they come with "proof" it's the scene where he says no to her trying to break the NDA. How is he dismissive by trying to keep her safe? In general Steve dismissing crazy ideas in the show isn't him being an ass or him not caring for that person, it's the opposite because those ideas would backfire in the real world. Like in s4 people really said see Steve is against Nancy's plan again, that means he's horrible to her. Imo Nancy (and the majority of the party) need someone who keeps them in check and not blindly following every move they make (aka Jonathan/J/ncy). [But Nancy doesn't really want that because she hates being challenged] Or Steve saying to Nancy her vision isn't real that Vecna wanted to scare her, people say he was so heartless while I interpreted it as him trying to reassure her that it wasn't real, that Vecna scared Max the same way, but I digress.

Back to s2 when he was a bit annoyed with them going to the Hollands, which was used as further proof to say he was the worst. Imagine sitting across the parents of the girl who is missing, but you know she died in your pool? And that for every week for a year. If Nancy's allowed to have trauma, why can't Steve? Also he's emotionally intelligent, he knows how hard it is for both Nancy and Barb's parents. Trying to make it better, by making like jokes at the dinner or telling Nancy it's not good and they might stop isn't him dismissing Nancy. Plus in the end, he was going with her regardless. Steve was the only one really trying in that relationship, while Nancy was eying Jonathan for a year.

Also tbh we know she blamed herself and Steve for Barb's death, if that topic would come up she would definitely let him know that, if not directly than more subconsciously. Steve isn't stupid and tbh if I were to discuss my trauma from facing a literal monster with my girlfriend while she also blames me vor the death of her bff, I would too pretend everything is fine. That's why he wasn't as phased by her accusation about Barb because he knew it somehow. Like Nancy isn't a sensitive person when she dislikes or has problems with something/someone she let's that person know somehow.

To sum it up, Stancy never worked from the beginning because Nancy never loved Steve and only stayed with him because it was a safe choice and she didn't want to be alone while waiting for the guy she actually wanted. It will never work too because Nancy would have to actively choose Steve first, which was never the case and I honestly don't see her do it in the future.

Oh boy! I'm always up for bitchy anons!

St/ncy as a ship is very weird to me, because I'm not sure who exactly is shipping it. Because the Nancy stans don't seem to like Steve and think he was the reason their relationship fell apart, and I don't know why Steve stans would want him to get back together with the ex who cheated on him with the guy he thought she cheated on him with a year prior (and boy it sure is ironic that Steve's biggest asshole moment in S1 is a result of him thinking Nancy cheated on him with Jonathan, only to have her actually cheat on him with Jonathan in S2). Is st/ncy just the het equivalent of st/ddie and harrin/rove where it makes zero sense canonically but people want the hot (white) characters to kiss? Who is st/ncy for?

Steve being a bad boyfriend has no basis in canon aside from Steve calling himself a bad boyfriend and Nancy not saying anything to disagree. As far as we know, Steve drives Nancy to school. Goes with her to visit Barb's parents for dinner every week. And I can only assume they actually talked about things between seasons. As for Steve not being supportive, I, frankly, think less people should be supportive of Nancy's poorly thought out plans. Like, in S2 I hate the j/ncy plotline because it never should have worked. Owens should have found the recorder, and, if they weren't wrapped up in plot armor, Nancy and Jonathan probably should have been found dead after a fabricated car accident or something. S2 Steve isn't unsupportive of Nancy's asperations, he's unsupportive of her half-baker revenge fantasies that could get people killed.

As for Steve being annoyed about visiting the Hollands... I'm actually on his side in that instance, based on personal experience. When I was a senior in high school, a girl in the grade below me (who I didn't know personally, but did know of) was unexpectedly killed in a car accident. The next day after the news broke, there were a lot of people mourning, and it was an extremely awkward situation to be on the outside of. Because I didn't know her, but I was surrounded by people who did, who were upset, and as empathetic as people try to be, there's still a massive degree of separation between you and people grieving someone you didn't know. In ST, Steve didn't really know Barb. He didn't know Barb's parents prior to her death. So once every week he goes to have dinner with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's dead best friend's parents, and he's the only one not grieving, or maybe he thinks he doesn't have a right to grieve. It's not a fun position to be in. It's not a position anyone wants to be in.

And it's probably an argument Steve and Nancy had a few times. Like, Nancy says Steve doesn't have to go with, but if he doesn't is that something she holds against him? idk there are factors there that it would have been really cool to see the show play around with via flashbacks to the gap year.

Anyway! I fully agree that st/ncy has never worked as a functional couple, and bringing it back romantically in S4 never should have happened unless it was to actually make the two of them talk about what happened in S2 (or to have the Upside Down being stuck in 1983 have a meaning).

[makirenton]

Okay, so I have been thinking why I enjoy Heartstopper so much as a 30yo. I’m obviously not the target audience and I have to say I made myself try not to enjoy it, because I’m so tired of the discourse that at my age I’m old and I need to idk, go have kids or a promotion. I saw a post about how great it is there is a storyline about queer teachers to show “old queers can be happy too” Yeah, that really made me feel great, thanks.

Honestly, I think all of this is because my generation didn’t really get to be kids. We were forced to grow up so fast, even our “teenage entertainment” was like… Skins & Misfits (yeah, I know there is Euphoria now, but that’s typical mid 20s and up actors playing teenagers, in Skins, they were actually teenagers). We didn’t look at 25,30,35 yos as old, we were shown left and right that that’s what we should be acting like, who we should befriend etc. Don’t want to go into how that caused A TON of really terrible situations and trauma.

I don’t feel like an “old queer” but at the same time, my first pride was 15 years ago and it was the first one in the Czech Republic, they threw rocks at us, pepper sprayed us and ganged up on a bunch of teenagers. So my first pride ended up with me in an ambulance. My last pride was a couple of weeks ago and I got to see a surprise performance by one if my most fav artists amongst hundreds if not thousands of people and I felt safe.

I swear I’m getting to my point… Growing up queer has changed so much. On one hand you have me, my mother now allowing sleepovers because she once found me with a friend, who happened to be a girl, in the same bed. On the other you have my much younger brother who came out as trans and is accepted and loved completely (we have different mums).

I hated myself and it took years to be comfortable with who I am. People talk about healing your inner child, but honestly, I need to mainly heal my inner teenager and I have been on that journey for some time now, it’s not easy. So yeah, that’s probably why I enjoy Heartstopper so much, because I never had anything like that growing up.

Thanks for coming to my pointless ted talk where I’m trying to convince myself it’s okay to like a fucking tv show even though there are way too many people trying to make me feel bad about it.

[ifellinlovewithpersona]

I finished P2EP which means I oficially finished all of the existing mainline Persona games at least once!!! 🎉🎉🎉

As usual my ending summary contains spoilers so everything is under the cut:

The ending of the game made me ugly crying, idk why I'm crying though it is because this absolute masterpiece of the game have ended or because Atlus never did a game like that again or because of Tatsuya's fate or because I never be able to experience this series for the first time or just because I finally accomplished my goal of finishing all mainline Persona games. The last time I ugly cried so much was when I finished my first Persona game (P5) and now I'm crying in the same way at the end of last Persona game I played.

What can I say... P2 duology is an absolute masterpiece and I think my favorite Persona & overall Megaten game in general. Even without a need of social links I managed to attached to all characters to the point I literally ugly cried rn at the end

I feel so bad for Tatsuya though that he's just destinied to suffer on the Other Side, the moment he said he had to go back home is when I started crying. Also I think after playing entire P2 duology I think Tatsuya got promoted to my favorite Persona protag, my forever blorbos and absolute babygirls (rn I'm like Akiren who? Sorry but that's the truth haha). Literally, with the amount of trauma and shit he went through during both games he deserves the title of honorary SMT protag imo, cause I think only them suffered as much as Tatsuya

On the other hand, if someone is wondering how the final boss is like on PSP version - at your party lvl 70+ and if you have dark nullifying Personas and aply buffs, then he's laughably easy. I think the whole fight with both stages took me 30 minutes max and I killed Nyarly on my first try lol. I was surprised myself that it took me so fast haha

So yeah... I finished all mainline Persona games but I'm still not 100% done with the series. There are still things left for me like

-Tatsuya's scenario (I'll be starting for a moment)

-P1 Snow Queen Route

-P3P FEMC Route (I'll start it very soon after I'll be 100% done with P2EP so after I'll finish Tatsuya's scenario)

-P3FES The Answer cause I gave that one up when I played FES but I need to know how and why Minato ended up on the door lmaoo

And also Q games but I need to download an emulator for that (and when I'll do, I'll probably play SMT IV and IVA first anyways as I'm much more curious about that ones in terms of 3DS games). Idk if I'll ever play Persona Dancing games because I don't really like that type of games and they aren't canon anyways, well maybe P4D if any for Specialist remix & new character haha

So yeah, I finished my main goal for now (to play every mainline Persona game at least once) but as you can see there is still so much need to be done haha

[darkerthanblack-666]

About my fic "Frozen"...

One of the posts of the series "no one asked", but I just need to release my thoughts into the void. Beware, spoilers incoming. If you still want to read it, don't bother with this post. Here's the fic if you're interested.

I'm not going to explain why I chose that song as a theme (you can read it in my fic comments if you're interested), because when I talk about something personal I don't like repeating myself (I wasn't in a good emotional state when I wrote it, either... for reasons I won't explain).

The topic I want to talk about is the tarot card I used there, it was three tarot cards in particular. The Fool, The Devil, and Death. The first two are very nice cards, but I'm going to talk about the last one here, because I find its symbolic and the topic it's related to very fascinating (I think it might be my favorite card in general, because I'm the local edgelady lmao).

First, I'll share the image of the card from my deck:

It's of course the death itself above the grave with the remains in it. There's a cat person (because the whole deck is cats) walking away from it.

The meaning of the card is transformation. Something dies, so something else has to start. The cycle of death and revival. NOT the actual death, so if you get that in your reading it rarely means something like that, usually it's the end of something. It has to die for something else to grow. It might be an intense, but beneficial change.

The zodiac sign associated with this card is Scorpio (which I have a huge mental boner for, like everyone knows already, I can never shut up about my Mars in Scorpio 😂) and its number is XIII, so it's pretty cool.

Now, on topic of my fic. The whole transformation into a vampire is literally dying and being revived as something else, something better, right? Your old, human shell has to die in order for a better being to grow out of it. First, Joel dies and Samy gets Taz (who's already a vampire) to revive him as one of his kind. He joins them, because he doesn't want to leave them (or be left alone), he's attached to his friends this much. That's one of the ways Death manifests itself in this fic.

Another one is Joel's suicide. He kills himself because of his broken heart and when he turns into a vampire, he's no more that sweet and sensitive man. He gets cold, humans are just food and sexual toys to him, he cuts himself off his emotional side. It's beneficial to him in a way, because he isn't in emotional pain anymore. Even Samy wants to keep Aleksi away from Joel, because his presence messes with his head. He wants to protect his friend from getting hurt again (especially after Aleksi says mean things about Joel... of course he has good reasons, but Samy knows Joel's past and he's protective over his friend's feelings).

One more meaning of Death is how it changes Aleksi. He's a very carefree, enthusiastic intern at a newspaper, wants to get a promotion and write something amazing that would get him the actual journalist job, so he risks a lot. He's The Fool, who plays with The Devil (Joel), which ends up in his own metaphorical Death when Joel almost kills him after biting him for the second time and drinking too much of his blood. When he wakes up, it's in his warm bed, with Joel being suddenly very soft with him and opening up about the trauma that caused him to become that emotionally "frozen" person.

In the end he promises to try to be nicer. It doesn't end with great love confessions, but with them agreeing to work on their issues together and treating each other with respect. It's a subtle, but very positive ending, because difficult relationships require work, not grand emotional displays and ignoring the issues.

So, that's basically it. I really like this fic and even if it's not popular (idk why tbh 😅), it's one of my favorites. If someone read all of my babbling until this point, thank you 💖

[matan4il]

OK I hope this makes sense because I feel like some of my thoughts have been a little crystallized and I'm hoping for your opinion since your actually queer and very insightful.

So I know some fans pine for the days of the early promotion of Buddie when Stark and Guzman did goofy things together and even attended award shows. I get it and I missed it a little too. But I always felt like when the show settled on this was a true love scenario they scaled back on it for reasons of not making it silly or meme worthy.

Then all the interviews for My Policeman came out and Dawson and Styles addressing their approach to love scenes and their friendship and how they handle it now. They speak of it rather beautifully and they want you to see it that way. But also address their roles as actors friends, the promise to always smile and hug forever.

And that brought me back to Brokeback Mountain and Jake and Heath were protective of their roles. Even Jake later coming out and saying that Heath refused to be and Oscar skit because he didn't want it to be a "gay joke". He just wanted people to see the love.

So again it brought back to why in my head the change in the promotion changed and this really was what I was thinking. If they make Buddie Canon I don't think they ever want it to be funny or like a meme you know. I'm not implying either are deep in the closet characters but they are definitely different then say TK and Carlos. Especially TK who's main struggles aren't his sexuality, it's his internal trauma. Or that they are even the same as Henren.

Especially coupled with the fact that both Oliver and Ryan are very masculine men you know. They are friends. I feel like they want it to be respected.

Also off topic Didn't you also post some lovely gifs of was it Russian WW2 military queer movie? I never watched the show but I remember looking them up after you posted them. What was it called?

I probably sound a little caffeine induced but hopefully some of my point made sense.

Hi wonderful Nonnie!

Thank you so much for this lovely ask! And if it’s okay, I’ll start by addressing Firebird, the Russian queer film for which I posted the gifset you mentioned here. I am SO happy you liked the set (the original post has a link to the movie’s homepage, BTW), and you should def watch the film! It’s visually stunning, the love story is very moving IMO and the thing that got to me the most is that it’s a real story. It’s not WWII, but the 1970′s, the height of the communist regime. As someone whose family suffered under the communists after the end of the Nazis and Fascists’ era, I have to admit that speaks to me. My great uncle wrote a book about what it was like for my family, being Jews under the communists, when the individual was considered the property of the state, so it could do with him or her as it wishes, and when anyone could report you to the party with real or made up accusations that were always taken at face value. Add antisemitism, homophobia or any other type of bigotry to that type of society, and you can understand why a gay love story during that time is especially poignant. One of the two men whose romance is depicted was involved in the making of the film, because he wanted their story known. Here’s just the first gif from that set:

As for promotion, I have no doubt that Ryan and Oliver would not want Buddie taken as a joke. Both of these men are, like the other actors you mentioned, very protective of their characters and clearly understand them in depth. They’ve also both spoken up in favor of Buddie, so should our ship go canon, undoubtedly they’d want it to be treated with respect. IDK if that’s the only reason why the promotion has been shaped as it has been. There’s also been drama that I think in general made Ryan for a long while there wanna do PR a lot less. But I have no doubt that if and when Buddie go canon, they will talk about it, and will do so with the utmost love for this pairing and their family unit. I think they all know what Buddie would mean to queer viewers, like when you look at that supportive vid JLH sent for a same sex couple who are Buddie fans. Hell, even Gavin, who plays Chris, has been asked about Buddifer becoming a family, and he said he would love that. We have never seen them treating the idea of Buddie with anything other than respect and positivity, and if that’s the case before our boys have even gone canon...

I hope I managed to answer the question! I’m so grateful for your kind words and for your interest in my perspective. Have a beautiful day, lovely! xoxox

(and as always, if anyone’s looking for it, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[scaryarcade]

“to anyone reading this who has plurality-related experiences that they feel don't match up with the experiences of anyone else they know, i want you to know i literally made this blog to invite people to share those experiences and to promote discussion of them!”

Saw this and thought to send something because I’m someone who feels alienated by most plural spaces because so many people seem to believe plurality = being a system (and often nothing else).

For context: I used to be a mixed origin plural system and then just somehow got to a place where that’s not true anymore because I don’t have headmates. Because of this I conceptualise headmates as ‘previous selves’ or a part of my previous self because I’m talking about experiences that happened 5+ years ago. But I also don’t have a good explanation to how this change happened (the plural community is shitty enough about fusion and integration that I tried looking into resources for CDDs about fusion, but the usual stuff I found was that you can’t just unknowingly do fusion & it has to be a conscious effort - which doesn’t describe my experiences). I’m not a system, most likely not a singlet, and also not a median system.

(it could be argued that I have somehow unknowingly resolved trauma by unusual means (me practicing hypnosis, kink, listening to music, and attending peer support meetings), but I still don’t 100% buy that as the reason for why that change happened)

hi, thanks for sharing!! this ask did make me realize i have a habit of treating "plural" as synonymous with "system" without thinking about it, so thank you for bringing this to my attention, and i'm sorry your experience has been so commonly overlooked!

so, re: the idea of fusion in CDD spaces that you brought up, this reminded me--

i actually was reading a post on r/DID the other day that discussed the idea of involuntary/accidental fusion (won't link it because it was about someone's personal experience), and noticed a lot of comments along the lines of "i feel 100% certain that some of my alters fused with each other accidentally/unknowingly, but that can't be the case if we didn't do it on purpose, right?" i've also seen many people who are certain that they've experienced fusion in their system, and that not only was it not purposeful, it was also negative, even traumatic--and i've seen these people get dogpiled repeatedly because their experience contradicts the idea that fusion is ALWAYS a form of healing.

one conception of fusion that deviates slightly from the "it has to be a conscious effort" angle (and may actually be more in line with medical literature but idk off the top of my head) is the idea that fusion occurs when dissociative barriers between alters are completely lowered to the point where the alters no longer perceive themselves as separate; i think this is generally understood to allow for cases where trauma processing/lowering of barriers occurs subconsciously or internally without full conscious awareness.

(definitely not claiming this applies to you specifically though, especially since like you said, unknowingly resolving trauma doesn't feel like it fits with your experience. also, that conception of fusion is specific to the framework of DID/OSDD from a clinical viewpoint, so it won't be useful for everybody anyway)

but anyway fusion, and what qualifies as fusion, is really hotly debated in all kinds of plural spaces isn't it? i wish people weren't so quick to shut discussion of it down. clearly, people are experiencing "multiple headmates becoming one" in a variety of different ways for different reasons. i think your perspective is really valuable and highlights a topic that needs to be discussed a lot more, thank you again for sharing it! and thank you for the important reminder that "plural" =/= "identifies as a system"

[maletofujoshi]

This is something I’ve seen reposted verbatim and in general message (this screenshot is from a post made yesterday and tagged #funny) and like. Man. I don’t like this. I feel like when I see this the “maturity” is just. familiarity with conflict. I used to think I was mature for my age, and like, I might’ve been when I was yet younger, but. I literally was just able to recognize and avoid/suppress conflict. While on a surface level things like that can make a young person seem more mature, more often than not I feel like trauma at a young age just leaves people more aware of conflict but unable to comfortably or healthily navigate it. I worry a lot about the notion that trauma can “make someone grow up faster” because I don’t think that’s an accurate way to describe it at all. It feels dangerous to make it sound like it’s something that promotes growth. Not saying people can’t grow from negative experiences, just… idk i feel like more often that not the results of those things are just. Harder to work through. This is a joke sentiment but this idea that early trauma just matures you faster is. Shitty.

[bitter-syscourse]

Let’s talk about source attachment, and why it can be incredibly toxic towards any possible individual. This post is multiple opinions coming from multiple introjects within the same system, specifically our system. We do not speak for everyone, we do not speak for introjects with the same source. We are talking about our experiences as introjects, and why our attachments (if any) may be toxic.

This will be a long post, as this is something that we have been typing for well over a week by now. This will only be a few of us, as a lot of the others did not want to comment on the topic. I will also only tag this with syscourse, and not our general tags, as this was something we typed up on Discord within our personal server.

Without giving too much information about my source, as it is an incredibly triggering one, I want to preface that it is something that I am completely detached to aside from my name and appearance, this does not mean that I want to talk about it all that much. My source is terrifying. It was used to help Killian cope with unnecessary trauma, and ended up creating me. Again, without giving too much information, my source was also used more as harm instead of being used to cope, despite it being labeled as a game. Why would it be bad, and toxic, if I still had source attachments? Well, for one... If anyone knows of said game, that would be why. If no one does, leave it that way, do not go digging. Two, having any type of attachment towards a source like mine can leave to several unhealthy relationships and habits, and can (or will) lead to destructive behaviors. Do I even need to express why that would be a bad idea? To end my talk, I want to say this. If you know of my source, do not comment on this post talking about it. We will block and report you for promoting it, none of us, and especially I, take this lightly. Thank you for reading. -🐺/Vincent

yo i’m a yuji/sukuna introject, technically sukuna but y’k how it is. source is jujutsu kaisen. i have some source attachments still but its nothing so much that its pushing danger levels lmao uh my source ain’t terrifying but again y’k how it is. its a bit gory and the only attachments i have is my appearance and the whole curse thing. ik i’m not a curse but that attachment isn’t something i have been able to get rid of. i think that’s what this is all about tho so idk what to say here lol being an introject is fine and all i rly don’t care but it comes with issues. the only sourcemate i have is rowan and even then we don’t rly associate with each other all that much aside from him picking on me bc i take the appearance of yuji. it gets a bit lonely sometimes but i deal with that by hanging out with the others and that’s it really yeah anyways that’s my ted talk cya later -🎭/rye

Hey, I’m Alex. I’m one of our Stardew Valley fictives. I still identify with my source quite some bit, but I’m working on stepping away from that as time goes. Being one of four Stardew Valley fictives is incredibly annoying sometimes, especially considering I’m the complete opposite of the other three, and I would rather not work with them. Another thing that is annoying, at least for me, is that none of my source friends or family are with me. That can be discouraging and really hard to deal with sometimes, and it really is. Why can my source attachments be toxic? Well.. We all know I’m considered a “health nut” in source, the only reason why I can see this would be toxic is because the body isn’t at what I believe are my personal standards. We’re disabled, so I can’t really do anything to fix us, and I feel like I can’t fix us. Idk if this makes me fatphobic or if its just an internalized thing that the brain makes me feel, but yep. Its why I almost never front anymore. I really only did to talk about this because a lot of us collectively agreed to do this. I don’t really know what else to say here, so I’m going to just leave it as is. -🏈/Alex

hey i’m zoe!! i’m from league of legends and i am still as AH-MAZING as ever!! \o/ do i identify with my source?? um sometimes but not all the time!! i know that the body is 24 and that i look like a child but i know i can’t be a child!! i still say i am the aspect of twilight BECAUSE I AM!! i do miss my big space doggy though!! i miss you solsol!! but i have viktor and varus and jinx to play with!! :D being attached to my source can be bad because i want to act childish!! I AM CHILDISH!! but i can’t because we are an adult and i want to be a kid!! i hate that i can’t be a kid but i won’t throw a hissy fit about it because i have to be an adult!! um i don’t know what else to say!! that is all i have i think!! thank you guys for reading and byebye!! <3 -🌌/zoe

[fortunatetragedy]

rubbing my dirty little hands together

3 18 22 34 53 67 for whoever seems most fun to answer for :)

I thought I posted this yesterday MY BAD <3

It's Thirsty Ask O'Clock and one of my favorite degenerates is here hi Skylar :D

I have a feeling I'm going to end up answering for both Sullivan and Royston LOL. (Even when Khalid is old enough to answer sexy questions, the answers are all "I'm asexual, go away.")

3. Did they have an experience they consider their "sexual awakening"?

So... I'm letting Royston sit this one out for Legal Reasons.

Sullivan...

Bullet points and a blunt, jokey tone to minimize emotional damage, that's the way I roll baby:

be Cole Sullivan

have reached The Age of Reason

concluded you're not only not sure about Catholicism but you're not too keen on the idea of getting married either?

(you don't abandon Catholicism until the American Civil War when you watch your tenth or twentieth friend get greased right in front of you)

spend a lot of time working down at the Tilford ranch once you're old enough (like 12? they didn't gaf how old you were re: anything in 1847-48)

that's right Sullivan had his sexual awakening at a horse ranch with a boy

(IDK if it was the same boy every summer or what that's a job for the fanfic writers)

anyway his dad found out when he was 15 and they physically fought over it and then Sullivan joined the Army so that wasn't super fun

but I bet that was a real nice summer he had the summer he was 13-14

18. Preferred position?

You know what? I'll give you both of them.

From this point on there is heavy spoiler talk for DMLS Books 1 + 2, as well as light talk of trauma as it pertains to Royston's backstory. (Gotta be mindful of your partner's trauma when you're getting nasty, right?)

Royston is a top. An aggressive top LOL. He does not, as a general rule, mentally enjoy being the receptive partner even if it is physically pleasurable. In the past, every instance I have of him giving oral or receiving anal sex has been to manipulate the guy. He stopped doing that in his twenties and sticks to "You try to stick it [a dick] in me, I'll stick it [a knife] in YOU." That rule does not apply to Sullivan. He loves both of those things with Sullivan and I cannot explain it without writing an essay which I will totally do if someone needs me to show my work. And since Sullivan has lower-limb mobility issues in Book 2, he has to be adaptable in how his fantasies play out. His absolute favorite way of doing it with Sullivan (standing missionary, ig? where the wall takes the place of the bed, Royston puts his back to the wall and holds onto Sullivan like a spider monkey) can only be done until June 1873, and then only really once Sullivan's got his strength and balance back (he's had a transfemoral amputation.) I don't think he cares too much as long as Sullivan is having a good time tbh.

Sullivan will talk for a page if I don't just cut to the chase: face-down with Royston on top of him like a human blanket. In Book 1, Sullivan also seemed to enjoy cowboy quite a bit, and I'm not mad about that. Like. He's a cavalryman with very little sexual experience. I can't expect anything else out of him.

22. How shy are they with new sexual partners?

I'm going to give you both of them again bc they're short answers:

Royston isn't shy. He's a psychopath; if he's with somebody in any sense of the word, he's hoping to get something out of them. I've run his ability to be whatever the other man wants him to be in simulations and it's fucking terrifying.

Sullivan may as well be a virgin (been in the Army since 15 and he's 37-38; he takes his job seriously, so once he was promoted to Corporal he just shut that shit down entirely.) He was shy the first few iterations of the time loop (death wipes a person's memory; Sullivan is, uh, the king of dying) but now that he and Royston have done this a few times he's got the hang of it.

34. What's the most adventurous thing they've tried during sex?

[flips to page 584]

Sullivan proposed they practice Royston's hematomancy during sex and broke out a knife. He may as well have proposed marriage. It ends up having practical benefit in Book 2, so good job dude, I thought Royston's being a FREAK had just worn off on you~

53. Do they prefer to call it fucking, having sex, sleeping together, or something different?

Depending on the mood they're in, they've both referred to it as laying together, making love, staying the night, and "not be[ing] able to walk tomorrow" (OK that one was Royston. In the first draft. Before he realized Sullivan doesn't care for that kind of talk.) Royston doesn't typically call it "fucking," "fornicating," or any of the other more colorful turns of phrase he would normally employ because Sullivan is a good person whose feelings he tries not to hurt.

67. Do they have any anxiety around having sex with someone new?

Oh for sure LOL. I'll just focus on Royston, because I answered this for Sullivan a bit earlier and I could write an essay on why he had anxiety around having sex with Royston LOL.

(I don't need to write an essay, I wrote the October 1872 chapters.)

Being alone in a room with another man is always a high-stakes situation for Royston. He used to be a mercenary assassin, and he has childhood trauma that I'm not going to get into here. He does not take female partners, nor has he ever, but I'd imagine if he did he would have the same attitude because the women in Royston's world are bad bitches. Like, there are probably a number of people who are pissed off they can't use their female assassins to finish him off, because he only sleeps with men. (Everyone remember Royston was born in 1828. THAT TOOK OUT SUCH A HUGE PERCENTAGE OF THE ASSASSIN POPULATION. NO WONDER NO ONE'S GAKKED HIM YET.) He has had a man who he thought he could trust turn on and overpower him before, as a grown-assed adult, and that made him have anxiety in general for a minute. (PTSD, Jamie. The word is PTSD.) He may have spent his thirties in a "fuck the world" phase where he goaded people into trying something with him. Weaponized his trauma a bit, you know? He's in his mid-40s when we meet him, and he survived whatever his thirties were like and is back to being DTF.

The first few iterations of the loop, he didn't trust Sullivan. He kept thinking "Surely this gentleman act is complete bullshit, once we get our clothes off he's going to turn into the same cotton-skulled no-wit they all turn into eventually, let's just draw it out early and get it over with." And that never happened. Sullivan was a gentleman the whole time they were banging even though Royston was a gremlin. They eventually learned to trust each other, and they fell in as much of love as it was possible to be in considering Royston is a psychopath and Sullivan recognized that and was protecting his boundaries.

They died at the end of the original timeline and had to start over from the moment they met (September 1872) with neither of them remembering any of the events between September '72 and June '74. There were several loops where either they both died, or Sullivan died, so the same thing would occur, but each loop Royston trusted Sullivan a little earlier, or a little more, and on the "final" loop in book 1 he not only demonstrates that he has total trust in Sullivan but he also finally gets it through his thick skull that Sullivan has sensory issues and maybe he needs to not be so goddamn loud when they're knocking boots.

[extasiswings]

This whole interview situation has been enlightening on the max front. I’m not super involved in fandom and don’t really care to be but I knew that people had issues with him. I just didn’t know what. And tbh I still don’t really know what it is other than he thinks the show queer baits and it reflects in his articles? All that to say was I’m hoping that some of what she said was taken out of context right, because her responses were so gaslighty to the fandom that see buddie as romantic. I’m really hoping that the article was reflecting a bias that the interviewer had and that she wasn’t just straight up saying that people see what they want to see and it’s not really happening lol. Weirdly the article didn’t make me think that buddie wasn’t happening because I agree, they wouldn’t never reveal that prematurely and would 100% lie so that info wouldn’t come out. It was her responses were a bit ✨triggering✨ in the queer experience lol

I think I’ve said everything I need to say about the article itself, but as for why people have issues with him (from my own perspective):

It’s not just that he thinks the show is queerbaiting (it’s not, and wouldn’t be even if they never went canon, that’s not what queerbaiting is) and his articles reflect that. For me, it’s many things. It’s the way he has painted himself as a sort of crusader for queer rep by harassing creators about one particular ship while ignoring the critical mass of queer characters and couples that already exist in canon (yes, representation is important, and I think it’s disingenuous to treat this show the same way we would treat a show with zero rep on that front, both are true). It’s the way he presents himself as if he has a ton of super special insider knowledge and insight to rile up the fandom when he just has teeny tiny crumbs of additional info and is just speculating like all the rest of us, but treats his spec and opinions as fact. It’s the way he is extremely unprofessional and can’t separate himself as a fan from himself as a journalist and has an inability to present material in a way that even pretends to be unbiased. It’s the way he wouldn’t understand longform storytelling if it bit him on the ass and decides that the writing is terrible every time it doesn’t conform to his specific expectations (going back to not being able to separate himself as a fan from as a journalist—acting like if he doesn’t get what as he wants exactly the way he wants it as a fan, then that means it is objectively bad as a critic) and also throws temper tantrums on main about it (this is someone who was smugly annoying for all of 5A about how they were “ignoring Eddie’s trauma” and endgame BT).

And that’s not even touching the other unprofessional behavior. Teasing an interview with Ryan and Oliver alongside Gavin before getting official confirmation, implying that he would love the chance to ask all sorts of ship-related questions, and then throwing a fit stopping just barely short of naming Ryan specifically when he was ghosted by PR. Hyping his post-mortem with Tim for 5x10 and flat out basically saying “I can’t wait to ask him about all the ways I think this season sucks” (in addition to the general backlog of tweets that are not opinions you should have on your professional sm account), and then being upset when it was canceled. Doing the same thing with Oliver (if that alleged interview was ever actually scheduled at all). Like actually, people aren’t going to sign up to be harassed about your personal grievances when they want to do professional, official promotional work for their show, and if you make clear that’s what you want to do…idk, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Tldr; he feeds fandoms worst impulses, enjoys doing it because of the attention it gives him, and is the worst kind of entitled fan (only exacerbated to new heights because he has the teeniest little platform) and allows that to inform his coverage of the show and interactions with the cast and showrunners. That’s why I don’t like him.