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headquarters90 · 3 years

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Tired (Warrior of the Crown 10)

Pairing: Darkiplier x French Goddess!Reader

Words: 2,032

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and mental health

Series Masterlist Read This Discord Server

A/N: It’s been a hot minute and I do apologize. I’m just now getting into the grove of things again while fighting not just my normal depression and anxiety but now postpartum depression as well. Thank you so much for your patience when it comes to this series or just anything I write, honestly. Oh! And if you’re on Tiktok and come across someone named MakariaBless doing videos of a Goddess named Lucette that’s seems to have the same background history and story plot as Y/N in this, don’t worry. No one stole my idea - that’s me! Lucette is the inspiration of this series and what Y/N’s background and personality is based off of - and someone answered the debating I was having for me and Lucette will have to different storylines on Tiktok - her original and this one. Just an fyi!

Hit my ask box if you want to be added to a tag list for this series!

“Lady Y/N.”

Your nose scrunched up as you watched the servant bow before gesturing you and Dark inside.

“What does Lord Pierre owe to this visit?” The servant asked and you gave a soft smile.

“I’m in need of seeing Damon, actually. Is he here or has he returned to Hades?”

“He is still here. I shall go retrieve him for you.” The servant bowed again and you scrunched your nose once more as you watched him make his way out of the throne room.

“This must be what a throne room should look like,” Dark mused and you glanced towards him, raising an eyebrow.

“I would have thought you’ve seen Lucifer’s if you were the first one Ivy thought about.”

“Funny.”

“Lady Y/N, is there something you need?” Damon’s voice drifted into the room and you turned your eyes on him.

“There might be a traitor among our mists.”

“And you think it’s Damon,” Pierre’s voice deadpanned and you raised an eyebrow at your uncle.

“It was me that convince them to allow Damon with you, Pierre. I do not believe it’s him. I was coming to see if he may know who the traitor is.”

“Sorry, Lady Y/N, but I do not. I wasn’t even aware there was another traitor among them,” Damon spoke and you nodded, glancing at Pierre who raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“There’s a good chance they know that Damon is on our side now. I would be cautious.”

“You’re talking to a-”

“-War God, I’m aware. You have been in the picture long before you revealed yourself as an uncle, Pierre,” you spoke. “But, must you forget, that he does live in Hades and that he is trying to redeem himself in the eyes of said God and Charon. I will let Isabelle and Charon know for when he returns.”

“Thank you, Lady Y/N,” Damon spoke up before Pierre could and your eyes drifted to him. “They trust your judgement.”

“It’s not that they do not trust my judgement but rather, the fact that I can see just how much good is in a person and their true intentions…most of the time.”

“You say that as if it fails you 35% of the time,” Pierre snorted. “I’ve never met one person that special ability of yours has failed you.”

“Yes, well, emotions can cloud anything when it comes to certain things,” you replied, glancing towards Dark before nodding at the two. “If you discover anything, Damon.”

“Of course.”

“Why are we meeting here?” Angel questioned, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. “You hate coming here.”

“You’ll know when everyone else is here,” you promised as you shifted on your feet.

Focus on-

Dark. I know.

Your eyes glanced towards the entity in question as he leaned against a nearby wall, his arms crossed in annoyance of Anti speaking.

“At this point, sweetheart, it feels like we should just live at yours,” Hades spoke as he appeared alongside Bellatrix and you shook your head at the God. “Are we the last to show?”

“That would be us,” Pierre spoke up and Hades glowered as he glanced over at him and Damon.

“Why are they here?”

“Jean-Paul should be here as well,” Sébastian spoke, appearing beside you, his hands behind his back. “While everyone is still getting used to Pierre being part of the now Cinq, he still needs to be at meetings that require the Quatre Gods.”

“The Quatre Gods?” Anti questioned and you glanced at him. “New to the French Pantheon, remember? Not very well known.”

“The Quatre Gods are simply the French versions of the Greek’s Elder Gods. The Quatre Gods, now Cinq Gods, also known as the Children of Nickolas, are Bellatrix, Jean-Paul, Thana, Eva, and now, Pierre,” Sébastian recalled.

“Why are we giving a history lesson?” Jean-Paul’s voice drifted into the room and Angel snorted.

“Because unlike those who lived through the years, had the history lessons young, and live here, there are still those who don’t know, uncle,” Angel answered, turning her head to look at him.

“Teach the history lesson another time then. I have things to do and this was declared an important emergency,” Jean-Paul waved her off before wincing, turning his head towards his wife.

“Just because I married you, doesn’t mean I won’t stay by Tempête de Feu’s people,” Christina scowled before her eyes drifted over everyone in the room. “Y/N called the meeting, didn’t she?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix answered, nodding her head. “No idea on what though.”

“Pierre and Damon as well as Apollo already knows this but,” your eyes flirted over everyone, taking a deep breath, “there’s reason to believe a traitor among our mists.”

“Impossible,” Jean-Paul exclaimed, shaking his head.

“That witch, you called her Thandi? She clued you in on this when she possessed me, didn’t she?” Ares spoke up and your eyes moved to his, an eyebrow raised. “I was with you for a few years, Y/N, I know how you think, believe it or not.”

“She did,” you answered, nodding your head. “She knew of Apollo being a possible lover. The only ones that even know about the Warriors are the ones in this room, Monstres, Titans, and those we are allied with outside of our realms. The only ones that knew about Apollo are Flinn, Ivy, and-”

“-the ones in this room,” Hades finished and you nodded. “And not even everyone in the room knew.”

“I don’t know how many traitors we have. I don’t know if they’re willing associates or being blackmailed like Pierre and Damon once were. All I know is that if the traitor is among any of our people, it’s mine.”

“Now, you don’t know that for sure, Y/N. We can have Maxence-”

“I’m sorry, auntie, but where else could the traitor be? We’ve only been having meetings at mine and even if we’re not having meetings, I’m talking to Dark, Anti, Sébastian, or Apollo about what’s going on and how to go about things. There’s no where else they could be.”

“She has a point,” Thana pointed out. “Family dinners have even been held there for awhile now. If it’s not hers, where else?”

“We should-”

“Not Maxence.”

You raised an eyebrow at the multiple people jumping to his defense before you lifted your eyes to Dark.

“They’re right. It’s not him. We’re just know getting a traitor, Maxence has been with us prior to me being born.”

“You said it yourself, Goddess. They could be willing or blackmailed.”

“We have protocols,” Bellatrix spoke up, looking over at the entity. “Thought process is good but we have protocols for such a thing.”

“But what if-”

“Impossible,” Jean-Paul butted in and Dark scoffed, pushing himself off the wall.

“Everyone in this room, who is the one person you all are so desperate to protect no matter what? The one person that can be held against you if you were being blackmailed?” He challenged, holding up a finger. “Aside from the two buffoons over there.”

“I am a-”

“-War God. I’m aware but alas, you cannot touch me, Pierre, and you know that.” Dark gave him a dull look before looking around the room.

“He has a point,” Juliette spoke up.

“Time and time again, you’ve prove that you would do anything to protect her. Even Ares, though a complete ass-”

“Dark-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Goddess. Even he has proven that, when it comes down to it, he’d protect her. And that is part of Maxence’s job, is it not?”

You let out a sigh as those around you murmured to themselves and your eyes met your mother’s who raised an eyebrow.

“Have something you’d like to say, my dear?”

“No.”

“You know, it’s a pity that you think you can lie to your mother.” Thana sent you a grin. “Out with it.”

“Now isn’t the-”

“No, no. I think I know what this is about,” André spoke up and you turned your eyes to him. “You’re not a damsel.”

“It’s not the-”

“Y/N.”

Your eyes met your aunt’s who raised an eyebrow back at you and you let out a sigh, moving your eyes to meet Dark’s before they dropped to the floor.

“No, I’m not and…and I’m tired of being treated as if I am. I get that I acted like a damsel, a child, for years, to get a childhood I so desperately wanted that wasn’t focused on the abuse I took on for three years, to forget the fact that my mother died in my arms at 8 years old. And I know I’ll have moments of acting like a child because of it and I’ll have moments where I remember and falls into a panic. And I know that I’ll need help in those moments but I’m tired of subjects being tip-toed around, I’m tired of being tip-toed around.

“I’m where I need to be. I’ve overcome what I needed too and I get that it’ll take time but…but I’m tired of all the protection. And I get that it’s certain people’s jobs like I get that Hades feels like he took on this father role with me and that he feels that need to protect me. I get that and I’m not saying I’m ungrateful because I am and I will forever be grateful for what you’ve done for me over the decades when I wasn’t okay but I am now and if I have to have auntie touch me to prove it, I will but I’m okay.”

You took an unsteady breath as you lifted your eyes to meet Dark’s once more before your eyes glanced around the room.

“I’m okay.”

“I wondered how long you would hold that in,” Apollo mused and you turned your eyes towards him.

Hearing something thud against the table before a chair was pulled out, you glanced to your left, watching as Dark sat down before your eyes went to the book in front of him.

“How’d you find out if you didn’t read it before I hid it?” You questioned, returning your eyes back to your tablet, scrolling onto the next article.

“Discovered it while looking for you when you were avoiding me,” Dark admitted. “I just happened to turn to the page.”

“Let me know if you have any questions,” you hummed before you pursed your lip in thought. “The Fates.”

“What about them?” Apollo’s voice drifted into the room and you glanced up at him, watching him raise an eyebrow. “You two seem to be getting cozy.”

“Sitting next to each other isn’t “cozy,” Apollo,” you pointed out, setting your tablet down.

“It is for you, sweetheart,” he rebutted and you rolled your eyes. “Anyways, what about the Fates?”

“Maybe not the Fates, possibly the Egyptians…Wait, no, Sumerian,” you spoke and Apollo furrowed his eyebrows.

“No one has heard from the Sumerians for centuries, Y/N. We don’t even know if they still exist. What is this about?”

“Flinn might. Flinn is older than all over us. Him and Aelita. The Source had asked Flinn to keep watch on the Darkness, he should know where they are.”

“Aelita?” Dark questioned and you glanced at him before looking at Apollo who held the similar question in his eyes.

“Aelita? She’s…Never mind that. I’m rumbling. I need to call Ivy.”

“Wait, wait, what is this all about?” Apollo raised an eyebrow, stopping you as you stood from you seat.

You looked between the God and the Entity before blinking at the realization of you not saying anything.

“Angel and I are having difficulties trying to figure out a way to kill Azazel. Any of the Mesopotamians should be able to know of a way. They’ve been around longer than any of us.”

“I forgot Ivy gave you a side mission,” Apollo mused.

“Actually, Lucifer did. He wants him dead. I think Ivy just wants everything about it to disappear.”

“How would you know that?” Apollo raised an eyebrow.

“Because she did, you fool,” Dark muttered and Apollo winced at the reminder.

“Right.”

“Ivy has a lot more to overcome than I did but she’s not on track for it yet. She’ll get there.”

#darkipler #darkiplier x reader #darkiplier x goddess!reader #darkiplier x french!goddess!reader #warrior of the crown series

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thisweekingundamwing · 4 years

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This Week in Gundam Wing (June 21-27, 2020)

We have A LOT of fantastic stuff this week in the fandom! Be sure to send folks your love!

--Mod LAM

Gundam Wing Pride Event hosted at @wingqueero

Fanfiction

Like Water by @gundayum

Characters: Duo, Hilde

Pairings: 2xH

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: bi duo, genderfluid hilde, coming out, slice of life

Summary: A short, cute coming out story wherein Hilde reveals her gender fluid identity to Duo

Hugs Can’t Fix Things But They Do Help by @from-zero-to-my-own-heero

Characters: Heero, Duo

Pairings: 1x2

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: pride, duo and heero have a kid, slice of life

Summary: Heero and Duo decide to be the dads who give out free hugs to the LGBT+ youth at Pride who want and need the kind of hug only an accepting parent can give. For Duo, it’s just a nice thing to do. For Heero, it’s a lot more personal.

Is it Enough? by @2pcb

Characters: Trowa, Wufei, Relena

Pairings: 3xR, 3x5, 1+R mentions

Rating: EXPLICIT

Tags / Warnings: post-canon, post-series, mature situations, NSFW, sexual self-discovery, sexual situations, uncomfortable sexual situations, second person POV

Summary: Trowa helps Relena understand her asexuality, and learns to come to terms with himself in the process.

Pteromyini by @tumbledrylemur

Characters: Duo, Wufei

Pairings: 2x5

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: domestic fluff

Summary: Wufei spars with his backyard nemesis and Duo gets the answer to a question

Respite by @lifeaftermeteor

Characters: Sally, Noin, Une

Pairings: Sx9x11

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: polyamory, non-binary Noin, fluff, domestic fluff, romance, post-canon, post-series

Summary: Noin, Po, and Une take some time away from their responsibilities and daily lives to take a much-deserved romantic retreat out into the woods.

In Perspective by @beemotionpicture

Characters: Heero, Wufei

Pairings: Heero x Wufei

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: fluff, romance, post-canon, post-series, slice of life

Summary: Five times Heero kissed Wufei, and one time Wufei kissed back.

Beneath: Pride by @duointherain

Characters: Heero, Duo, Relena

Pairings: 1x2, RxOC, m/m, f/f

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: BLM, Pride, handicapped Duo

Summary: Mostly just a sweet story. The kids survive a night of terror and Duo thinks he’s done with Earth holidays forever, but Relena’s girlfriend convinces him to try Pride.

Fun Curses with Catboys by @2pcb

Characters: Duo, Wufei

Pairings: 2x5

Rating: EXPLICIT

Tags / Warnings: post-canon, post-series, magical transformations, NSFW, explicit sexual situations, size difference, minor cum inflation

Summary: When Wufei leaves the Preventers, Duo goes snooping and finds out some things about his favorite -crush- loner. Like his hobbies in gardening, rare book collecting, and… magic? Probably shouldn’t have touched that, Duo. Good thing it’s a fun curse, and there’s a sexy wizard around to help out.

Fanart

The Courtyard (6x13) by @alexecinz

Under the Moonlight (1x2) by Stephanie (no Tumblr)

Take Out (2x5) by @drawingplastered

Red Riding Hood (Rashid) by @2pcb

Happy Pride! (1x2) by Solice (no Tumblr)

Trans Pride (3x4) by @theboringbluecrayon

Night Out Preparations (1x2) by Kari (no Tumblr)

In the morning light (pilot pile) by @grey-sentry

Give You the Moon (1x2) by @bettertasting

Flower Crown (1x2) by Kari (no Tumblr)

From Sally to Noin and Noin’s Reply (Sx9) by @lemontrash

Intimate Duet (3x4) by Stephanie (no Tumblr)

Other Fandom Works

Duo Pride Cosplay by @distracteddream

Livestream Panel (June 27) by @sandrockskaterpaladin

Non-Event Stuff

Fanfiction

Violet in Tooth and Claw (Ch.4/?) by @duointherain

Characters: 5 pilots

Pairings: 1x2

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: werepossum, unpleasant surprises, Heero reads poetry

Summary: Duo had hangovers. He wasn’t familiar with the word alcoholic at this point in his life, but if he had he might have made a stupid joke about how Earth made a joke word just for him.

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers (Ch.5/?) by @duointherain

Characters: Heero, Duo, Relena

Pairings: 1x2, RxOC

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: handicapped Duo, combat, cliffhanger, crossover

Summary: Heero regretted his words as soon as he looked at Duo’s tracking work.

Your Body’s Poetry (Ch.19/?) by @doctormegalomania

Characters: 5 pilots, Relena, Hilde, Sally, Noin, Zechs

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 5xOC

Rating: MATURE

Tags / Warnings: past relationship(s), slice of life, post-break up, slow burn, developing relationship, implied/referenced domestic violence

Summary: Long after the wars, long after peace is established the Gundam Pilots discover one immovable fact: Relationships are hard work.

Party Night by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Characters: Heero, Duo, Hilde, Dorothy, Sylvia, reader

Pairings: 1xReader, 2xH

Rating: EXPLICIT

Tags / Warnings: reader-insert, romance, lemon, sexual content, language, alternative universe

Summary: A shiver went down your spine at the thought of being in bed with him again. There was no denying the physical attraction and the chemistry.

Fake by @helmistress

Characters: Duo, Wufei

Pairings: 2x5

Rating: Teen and Up

Tags / Warnings: domestic, fluff, conspiracy theorist Duo, funny, trolling, baiting talk

Summary: Wufei loves him, but sometimes he doesn’t know why.

Fanart

Heero and Relena by @artthingymabob

Dorothy and Quatre by @yawniverse for @pineappleglazedham

Duo and Quatre by @tatakaumono

Quatre comforting Duo by @arubees

Other Fandom Works

Gunpla and Cosplay

Duo Maxwell EW Cosplay by @bettertasting

Wing Zero progress shot by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Livestream Gundam build by @otakublerd

Headcanons and Discussion

@lifeaftermeteor is looking for feedback on the kinds of posts you’d like her to do as part of her worldbuilding / character-study “Fanon Friday” series. Check out her survey post over here.

Alex and Mueller know what’s up by @cloakandfire

Nostalgia, Nostalgia... by @cuteciboulette

Scans, Edits, and Fun Stuff

@incorrectgundamwingquotes continues to make us laugh (Example 1, Example 2, Example 3, and Example 4)

Scan selection of the DJ cover for “Toki no suna” (The hourglass of time”) by Sango Show by @cuteciboulette

Glory of the Losers scans by @disturbed02girl

Heero and Wing

Buster Rifle Sleeve Notes

Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton (in color!)

Epyon and Heero in Epyon

Wufei and Meilan

Howard and Zechs

Pictures of Swag by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Gundam Design Pages by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Wing Zero

Tallgeese

Maganac, Leo, Aries, Tragos

Pisces, Cancer, Taurus, Vayeate, Mercurius

Calendar Events

The Gundam Wing Pride event is entering its grand finale

Catch the last days over at @wingqueero June 28-30, 2020!

Posts will go up HOURLY between 4PM and 8PM EDT

@seasons-of-gundamwing is taking a poll for the summer event!

Poll is available over here.

Prompts will be posted at regular intervals later this summer around the chosen theme, topic, and/or character(s)

Gundam Wing Cocktail Friday prompts with @gwcocktailfriday

Post your response on Friday between 3-5PM EDT

This week’s prompt is over here.

#gundam wing

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lessy86 · 4 years

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Memorial: Self-Insert X DMC and Gundam Wing Fic.

Just wanted to cheer myself up on this fic since my Grandfather on my mother’s side had passed away last week. I wanted to share this moment with you guys. Shout outs to my friends: @terrablaze514, @bettybattaglia, @violentmouths, @vergils-daughter, @dhalia111, and @keeroo92. Thank you all for making me feel better for this past week.

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I was on my bed crying in heart-wrenching tears when I got home from work. During work, I got a phone call from my sister and my mother with a terrible news: My grandfather has died today. The last time I spoke to him was last month and he sounded healthy and well. Never knew that it was the last time I spoke to him....Damn. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye...

My thoughts were broken out of me by the knock on my bedroom door. I'm wiping my tears away while sitting up.

Me: Come in.....

The door was open and I saw both V and my big brother Wufei came through. I assumed that after I broke the news to my father, he must have told Wufei, who told V. I guess he wants them to be here with me when he couldn't. Shadow came out of V's body and start curling up to me for comfort.

Wufei: *Sits down on the bed next to me* you alright, my little sister?

Me: *Pets Shadow's head* Numb. Emotionally drained. Hurt. I’m guessing that daddy told you what happened, right?

V: *Walks up to me and nodded* We all tried to called you, but you didn’t answer. We got worried that you might’ve done something drastic until your Nana called. Your brother and I came here just to be sure.

Me: *In shock of hearing all of this* Wait. Did you say all?

Griffon: *Came out of V’s body as well* Oh come on now, Queen! We wouldn’t let you be all depressed and shit by yourself now, do we?

Me: *Giggles a little bit* Thank you for checking up on me. It was all so sudden and out of no-where. Now I don’t how to cheer myself up now...

Wufei and V looked and nodded at each other, knowing what to do to help me out.

Wufei: Well, come on sis. *Gets up from my bed and grab my hand to pull me up*

Me: Wait! Where are we going?

V: *Smiles at me* Well, One: you’re not staying home for a while tonight and two: We want to show you something.

Griffon: So let’s go, Queen! No time to waste! The night is still young!

So, Wufei and V dragged me out of the house into Wufei’s car and drove me to Kingside Lake that was right outside of the city. It was a santuary whenever I feel down and out. When we arrived at the lake, I was crying in happy tears this time of what I saw. Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Relena, Dante, Vergil, Trish, Lady, Nico, Nero and Kyrie. They all took the time to come here to keep me company upon my grief.

Lady: *Hugs me* Judi, V told us about your grandfather’s passing. I know what is like to lose a grandparent. We all here for you, no matter what.

Trish: If you need anything at all, you call us. Okay?

I nodded silently as I hugged both of my female friends. Vergil gave a single blue rose as his condolences. I hugged him as my appreciation to him. He was stiff at first but hugged me back a moment later.

Dante: My, Vergil. Never thought you showed a little emotion to Judi now. How sweet.*Got stabbed by one of Vergil’s shadow swords*

Vergil: Just be glad that I won’t kill you in front of her, Dante. We’re here to support her.

Nero: *Shook his head at his father and uncle’s banters* Idiots....

Trowa: Seems that they haven’t changed one bit after all these years.

Nico: Remind Dante of anyone you know? *Looks at the former Gundam Pilots*

Heero: *Gives Duo a death glare* Unfortunately.....

Duo: Hey! I wasn’t THAT bad when I was younger!

Quatre: Actually Duo, you was kinda annoying to Heero and Wufei back in the day.

Wufei: You was annoying then and you’re annoying now, Maxwell!

Duo: Ah, come on Wu-man! Loose it up a little.

Wufei: For the last time Maxwell, It’s Wufei! WUFEI!

I laughed at their antics as Relena and Kyrie approached me and V. No matter the situations one of us are in like this one, we will always be there for each other as one. We are family that sticks together.

Relena: Judi, if you ever want to talk about anything, you let me know okay?

Me: I will, Lena. Thank you. *Hugs Relena and she hugs me back*

We all gather around at our firecamp to have our own memorial for my grandfather. Wufei and I tell everyone our childhood stories about our grandfather growing up. Not the best kind, it’s worth share our memories to the people we cared about. Kyrie sang a beautiful song that left even Heero to tears. So, I got up with my Light Medallion in my hand and took a deep breath.

Me: I want to thank all of you for coming here to be my joy in the time of sorrow. You were there for me as I was there for you. I don’t know what I’ll do without you guys.

Griffon: We love you, Queen. Don’t you ever forget that! *Shadow roars as an agreement*

Nico: You know we got your back, Ju ju!

Me:*Smiles as I wipe my tears* As a traditional custom of the royal family, The seven sages bring light to the sky in honor of our loved ones that we lost. So, Relena. Heero. Would you and the others join me?

Heero and the other pilots nodded as they joined me in one circle. Heero has a Spirit Medallion, Duo has a Forest Medallion, Trowa has a Fire Medallion, Quatre has a Water Medallion, and my brother Wufei has a Shadow Medallion. Relena channels her triforce of wisdom since she’s the royal decendant of the royal family. The seven of us send our small amount of energy and have it ascend to the heavens above. Few of my tears shed when it happen. V wrapped his arm around my shoulder as all of us looked up at the night sky.

Me: You think my grandpa like our gift up there?

Heero: Yeah....He does.

Wufei: We’ll see him again. Eventually.

Vergil: For now, let’s live our lives to the fullnest.

Trowa: I agree.

I lay my head on V’s chest knowing that my family are right. My grandpa don’t want me to be sad forever. He’s in a better place now. I’m going to keep on living until I will see him again.

#Self Insert #self blog #crossoverfanfiction #DMC5 #gundam wing #mourn #memories

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littlestarlost · 6 years

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This Isn't Mine.

1. Monsters

I’m ten or eleven years old and I’ve just transferred schools, from the small elementary academy where I skipped a grade and was mercilessly bullied to a gifted program where, finally, it seems like the dust is perhaps starting to settle. I’ve been recently diagnosed with ADHD, and the monsters that have tormented me, both real and metaphorical, don’t seem to be breathing down my neck anymore. I have a Macintosh II, handed down from my dad; it has a proprietary word processor on it, and one day, I begin to write about the characters in an anime I love called Digimon. I’ve written stories before, of course; I’ve always been a writer, and a precocious one at that. I’m a gifted child; I often intimidate adults, never mind people my age. But this writing feels different; I don’t get bored of it, or restless when it doesn’t come together as quickly as my original stories. I can go back to the show whenever I start to feel confused, and get re-energized by watching the story unfold. I can keep the characters consistent, because I can literally hear their voices in my mind. But along with the characters of the show, I’ve created my own; her name is Raven, and she’s a new Digidestined, and everyone in the gang wants to be her friend. In the real world, I am lonely, anxious, isolated, insecure. I don’t know how to interact with people my age. I’ve buried myself in books and stories ever since I could read, finding solace in the characters who I imagined could see me for who I really was. On this computer, I make this feeling manifest in real words. My family doesn’t get it; my siblings tease me about it. I have no friends yet, so I can’t get their opinion, but a voice in my mind tells me that this is something I need to hide. Something I shouldn’t be proud of. And yet it’s comforting, nurturing, soothing. It’s good.

I have no idea that Raven’s real name is Mary Sue, nor that she embodies every single trope that we love to hate: she is perfect at everything and yet intensely vulnerable; she can beat every protagonist at their own game but still needs them to rescue her; she is sick and literally healed by the strength of the characters’ love for her. I don’t know that these tropes are universal; all I know is that I imagine these situations, where these characters I love can love me back for exactly who I am, and it makes me happy.

2. Revisions

I’m twelve years old, and I love Escaflowne. I tape the episodes on VHS whenever I can, paranoid that if I miss one I’ll never ever get a chance to see it. I hoard the tapes, watch and rewatch the episodes, and feel the pull of the strongest sensation imaginable—a huge swell of energy that is more exhilarating than any thrill ride, but is easily volatile. I don’t know how to control my emotions; I wield them clumsily, bumping up against this and that, unable to understand why I feel so much and why it hurts when that intensity is shattered by the real world. The emotions easily become overwhelming, leaving me crying over everything and nothing at all.

At school, my friend Leah tells me about a website where people have written stories with the Escaflowne characters—stories where Van and Hitomi end up happily ever after, where all my fantasies and dreams come true. There is one story in particular, a 30-chapter monstrosity called Re-visions, and I fall helplessly under its spell. I had no idea that other people did this, this thing I’ve done in secret for the past few years, this act of writing I thought I invented because I’d never had the chance to connect with anyone before. I had no idea that fan fiction could be like this. That there could be thousands of new island universes, each tethered to the original canon with a simple disclaimer: The characters and original story belong to their original creators. This isn’t mine.

I bond with Leah over this fanfic. I bond with others, too, over Escaflowne and then Gundam Wing. My fanfiction.net pen name is two Japanese words that sounded nice together.

I read fic after fic after fic; I hoard bookmarks, burying myself in shiny treasures, losing them immediately in my trove. I begin to read and write tentative romances, steeped in my own insecurities and repressed anxieties. I take the first steps on the road to sexuality by this gentle proxy, collecting first kiss scenes to read and reread and imagine with vivid passion what my own experiences will be like. My laptop background is of the Gundam pilots, a piece of fan art from a site called LeLoLa. I cover my school notebooks in pictures of Van and Allen and Quatre and Trowa. As I navigate the thicket of middle school and burgeoning adolescence, I imagine that they’re with me, like ghosts standing just over my shoulder.

And they love me; they love every part of me. It is their imagined encouragement that allows me to show up to school dances and take to the middle of the floor and show off what I love to do. It is their silent support that gets me out of bed some days. These characters in my mind only see the person I imagine I am at my best, but they love me no matter what, even when I screw up in social situations and replay humiliating moment after humiliating moment over and over because nothing, nothing, ever seems to go the way I wish it did in my mind. These characters accompany me to summer camp, where my bunkmates are my former elementary school peers, and everyone still remembers my childhood transgressions—but these characters don’t. They would want to hang out with me; they would sit with me at lunch, pick me for the soccer team, cheer me on in the camp musical. Even at my most socially isolated, I am never truly alone.

I start writing more ambitious fics of my own. I dream of getting 100 reviews on something someday. I finish a Gundam Wing story, long and epic and full of first kisses and dramatic rescues, and I’m so proud of myself that I think I might burst. But as I grow, I start to find that my emotions fade over time. The pull of gravity, that tug that spirals me into a fictional world and makes the characters feel like old friends—it starts out so strong that it’s overwhelming. Each press of the button opens the gates, releasing a crush of emotional material that floods my brain with dopamine, and it’s addictive and entrancing and it makes me feel so good. But each time, the sensation fades just a little, and then, inevitably, one day I find that I feel nothing at all. This isn’t mine, and now it’s not there anymore. The act of borrowing implies an inevitable return; that’s what makes it different from theft.

I learn that this beautiful emotional thrill ride has an expiration date. That, at some point, the love for a particular show fades, and then it’s gone, and there’s nothing I can do except to move on, find the next thing, fall in love all over again. This tradeoff is too painful to examine, so I don’t; I just keep moving, to X-Men and Smallville and Newsies and Harry Potter and a hundred little stops in between. These years will later be some of the most consistently bright memories of my adolescence, in a life filled with more downs than ups. Through it all, the disclaimers persist: I’m just borrowing it. This isn’t mine.

3. Endings and Beginnings

I’m fifteen years old, and while I’ve watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer on and off for a few years, I’ve never followed it religiously. For some reason I see a promo for an episode of its spinoff, Angel, where the lead character is turned into a muppet. I watch the episode; it concludes with two side characters, Wes and Fred, sharing a first kiss. I’m entranced; the swell of emotion rises once again, latching onto this new property, this new couple. I dive into the earlier seasons of the show, to learn everything I can about this new and wonderful gravity source. I write tragic character pieces about Wesley and one-off fluff fics where he and Fred get together earlier. I’m a little bit better at writing kisses now. And in the very next episode, it’s all snatched away, with Fred’s death; half a dozen episodes after that, the series ends forever. I’m shocked; I’m shattered. I’m in mourning, despondent over losing this beautiful thing just as it began. My sister and I bond over this show—a rare moment of agreement for us. I decide to write my own version of the ending, where things turn out better than they did on TV. The disclaimer still holds: I don’t own Angel. It isn’t mine, but if it was, here’s what would have happened. And it’s amazing; it’s got humour, it’s got romance, it’s got a villain, it’s got high stakes and a dramatic climax and a happy ending. It’s a proper story, and it gets more attention than I’ve ever received before.

Shortly after finishing that fanfic, a boy finally, finally asks me out on a date. I’m in high school, and we have our first kiss on a spot on my street where my parents won’t be able to see from the window. The snow falls around us, and everything is perfect. There’s a paradigm shift, and suddenly the real world is where I want to be. I don’t think much about fanfic; the characters who stood at my back begin to fade from existence. For just over a year, I live out every chaste fantasy I had seeded and nurtured through fanfics, until my heart is abruptly broken.

After that, I’m alone for a very long time. I have no joy; I have no energy. There are voices whispering to me how worthless I am, how this hurt will never go away. I live out humiliating moment after humiliating moment as if in slow motion, ruining friendships in my wake, unable to keep my head above the treacherous waters in my heart. My final semester of high school is a cruel hell, and I can’t wait for it to be over. When it is, I sign up for a summer trip overseas, where no one knows me; I cut my hair dramatically short and dye it purple. I’m enrolled in university next year, and I’m determined that no one will ever know about this version of me, this pitiful heartbroken thing, this failed attempt at existing. I can remake myself anew. I can change. During that first year of college, I discover new music and books and movies that I never knew existed. I write a single fanfic for Criminal Minds, aping the writing style of Chuck Palahniuk, because I love how he uses the present tense and repeated motifs to bring poetry to even his most horrifying ideas. My pen name is my first name and a generic nom de plume surname, because part of me wants to stretch plausible deniability and own this work I’ve created, because it’s really fucking good, actually. This is me now; I am new, and my writing is different. More grown-up. Less focused on romance. But the fire isn’t there the way it used to be; I love Criminal Minds, but the characters don’t inhabit me the way the Gundam pilots did. They don’t whisper in my ear or put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. And as my university experience continues, I think that maybe I don’t need it anymore. It was never mine in the first place, after all; I was always only ever borrowing it.

I fall in love again; I get my heart broken again. I move to a whole new city; I dye my hair each time I feel that this current version of myself has failed. I remake my identity over and over, exploring new hobbies and new passions. I write essays instead of stories; I do critical examinations instead of developing headcanons. I think I start to grow up.

4. Fog

I’m twenty-four, and I’m exhausted. I’ve been exhausted for nearly a year. I have a good job as a professional writer, and a good apartment and a good life; but I haven’t been able to stay awake. My family and my partner have no help for me, only gently condescending suggestions that maybe I’m being a little bit dramatic. I’ve watched my life shrink slowly, piece by piece: I stop watching movies because I can’t stay awake long enough to focus. I stop visiting friends after 9pm because I’m so tired. I stop knitting, and I can’t even remember why. I can’t pull myself out of this fog in my brain, no matter what I do. And it’s only after my relationship has fallen apart that I finally, desperately, humbly, miserably wonder if I might have depression.

The road back is hard, and it leaves permanent damage. The medication messes with my body and my brain; I learn to celebrate small victories, like making it through one day at work without crying. I slowly start to put myself back together, and I start watching Supernatural because I’ve heard good things about it. I realize I want to write and read again; now I have the benefit of several years of adulthood and a career working with words, and I can write stories with sex and violence in them and start to dig into the craft, the art, the intricacy of language. I start to shyly slide towards slash fiction for the first time in my life, no longer terrified of queer love stories the way I was as a youth. I’ve already put myself back in the closet, convinced that my trying to date women was just as much a phase as my time immersed in Escaflowne or Criminal Minds: that my participation came with a disclaimer, marking my status as a mere tourist. This isn’t mine. I don’t own it.

I slave over 25,000 words of a fanfic that gets less than 500 hits. I creatively bankrupt myself trying and failing to match my own expectations, and I’m still too shy to write gay romance on my own. My pen name is that same generic nom de plume from my last iteration as an author, now with a new first name stolen wholesale from one of my favourite indie songs. The fanfic world has changed in my absence; there’s a whole new site where people publish their stories, and people don’t read WIPs anymore. No one does disclaimers anymore either, because by now it’s understood: this isn’t mine. And yet, somehow, the sense of ownership has grown too. Writing fanfic is no longer something that people seem to be ashamed of. Authors have followings; there are recommendation blogs and fan conventions. Supernatural is my first taste of writing fanfic as an adult, and I love it, but something’s not right. The market is saturated; the show is, honestly, winding down in quality. That overwhelming tide of emotion fades faster than it ever did before, and I find myself at a crossroads: I can either stick around and scramble for the last droplets of joy until the landscape goes barren and dead, or I can close the door and move on, concluding that chapter of my life on my own terms. I choose to do the latter, and I recognize my time in the fandom for what it was: a coping mechanism. A lifeline. A buoy tossed into the water in the nick of time. It wasn’t truly mine; I was too late to the party, and the gravitational pull did not last very long. But it gives me momentum, a slingshot boost, into a new job and a new relationship and new ambitions. I get into graduate school; I move cities again. I’ve never been more adult than I am right now. Maybe, I think. Maybe this is what’s meant to be mine.

5. An Explosion of Colour

I’m twenty-seven, and the world has just cracked apart.

I began my second year of grad school with the news that I was being given three academic awards, only one of which I applied for. The other two were granted to me for having the top grades in my cohort in my first year. I’m literally top of my class, and my first instinct is sheer terror. I’m convinced my classmates will hate me for stealing their thunder; I’m nauseous at the thought of the expectations that now lie on my shoulders as I start this new round of classes. No, I think. This can’t possibly be mine.

I struggle through four brutally difficult courses and a brutally difficult winter. An election in another country shatters everyone’s hearts, and I make use of the accommodations I put in place just in case my depression came back. I write my last essays in coffee shops hushed by this pervasive feeling of abrupt loss and shocked grief, the world already dark by late afternoon. I can’t eat without crying. I can’t do anything without crying. I’ve lived in triage mode for weeks; I’m just trying to survive.

I hand in my final essay of the semester on a cold day in early December, proofreading it by the light of my SAD lamp. I realize that I have time and space and energy now to consume something new, to watch a show I’ve never watched before. I put up a poll on Twitter with four options: a Netflix historical drama, a groundbreaking crime show with POC characters, a goofy musical comedy, and an anime that I know nothing about except that it’s apparently pretty queer, and my friends really love it. The votes favour the final choice. So I sit on my couch, and I put on my headphones, and I press Play.

The world explodes into colour.

I don’t remember the details of every moment of that first time I watched the ten episodes which existed at the time. I don’t remember my exact reaction to the kiss in episode 7, or the proposal in episode 10. I don’t remember how it felt to realize that Yuuri was just like me, a high-achieving impostor, convinced of failure despite being such an obvious talent. I don’t know exactly when it clicked that maybe I was an unreliable narrator too.

But my heart is racing, thudding against my ribs so powerfully I can feel it. There’s this soaring feeling every time I watch the opening credits, and every single frame is the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I stay up until 2am to finish watching, and tossing and turning all night after that, too excited to sleep. I want to laugh and cry and lie down on the floor and melt into a puddle. I want to shatter into a million pieces because the feeling in my heart is so strong, so intense, so overwhelming, that I can’t hold it all in without completely falling apart. I watch the show a second time the next day, and the feeling only gets stronger. I sit on my couch and listen to “History Maker” and stare at the spot on my wall where I want to hang the art I’ve already commissioned, and I feel this part of myself wake up again. I didn’t even know it was still alive.

The next night I write 1900 words, a character sketch of Victor. I love him and Yuuri so much that I want to learn everything about them, to dive into all the intricacies of their personalities; I see so much of myself in both of them. I come up with a new pen name on the fly; I’ve always liked the idea of stars and planets that don’t have a home galaxy and wander through the universe in the dark. I rework my old AO3 profile and change my Tumblr URL. I hit Post. This time, I don’t write a disclaimer; my time in Supernatural cured me of the habit.

I already know, with great and tragic clarity, that this isn’t mine. But this time, I’m twenty-seven, and my emotional regulation capabilities are quite a bit better than they were at thirteen, and I’m starting to think that maybe it’s okay.

I remember all my past loves, how I would wake up to find that the passion had faded and the feeling was gone. I remember how devastated I always was. I look at the state of the world, and the state of myself, and I think: I don’t know how long this feeling is going to last, but I’m going to love every single moment until it’s gone. I hope against hope that this joy, this pull, this gravity, will last even one single year. One year of this untethered, freewheeling happiness and light, after over fifteen years of sitting in the dark. That’s all I can dare to ask. Please, I beg. Please let me have this. Let me pretend. Let it be mine, just for a little while. And then I’ll let it go.

6. Star

I’m twenty-nine. I’ve graduated with my master’s degree; my partner has moved in with me. I’ve got a job in my chosen career, right out of school. And I’m still here.

Yuri on Ice has made the past two years remarkable. It has given me so many good memories to lighten the darkness of the world. I’ve embraced my skills and challenged myself to do new things; to explore the erotic, the horrifying, the experimental, the comedic. I reframe my own neuroses through Yuuri’s intense and unbearably public anxiety, and my own depression through Victor’s quiet subtle sadness. I announce to the world that I love this show so much that I’m writing stories about it; I’m not ashamed anymore. I explore this new facet of myself that now has a name and a friend group and a community. I come to terms with my own sexual orientation by interacting with this undeniable and uncompromising and unapologetically queer romance. I create things that I’m intensely proud of, and I get feedback that carries me through even the darkest of days. The one-year anniversary of my reawakening passes, and I keep writing. I keep writing. I keep writing.

This is the gift of fan fiction. This has been the gift of Yuri on Ice, which debuted two years ago on this day. It’s not mine, but at the same time it is. I get to share in it, because it’s not borrowed; it’s communal.

For years I thought that maybe this feeling, this gravity, was simply a part of childhood that disappeared as you grew older, like baby teeth. All that time I was treading water, dysthymia whispering in my ear that this was just what being an adult was like: that the joy just didn’t happen anymore. Telling me that once you had a job and rent, you could no longer be bowled over by your love for something, and that that was normal. That a piece of media could no longer reach inside you and spark your imagination and fan the flame until it roared, and that was just the way things went. And I believed it, for the longest time. I thought I was alone.

Over my shoulder I can sense my old friends, from my very first fandoms. I look back and I can see them smiling. They are the wisps of a nebula, stellar remnants from previous explosions, now illuminated by a new source of light. They never disappeared; they were just in the dark. They helped me to love myself when I thought such a thing was impossible; they helped me see the best parts of who I was and who I am.

Yuuri and Victor aren’t part of that group of silent guardians; they’re out ahead of me, having adventures, leading me to follow, to chase and document and imagine and write it all down. They’re a present that I get to enjoy again and again; they’re a gift that I can give, over and over. Every word is an act of love; for myself, for the work that Kubo et al created, and for the others who share this joy. Each day I get to be this person, to have this name, to celebrate this piece of myself that’s still wholly me and no one else, and who is loved for exactly who she is. I’m not spiraling into the gravity well anymore; I’m orbiting, running as fast as I’m falling, enjoying sunrise after sunrise.

Yuri on Ice doesn’t belong to me. But this is mine.

#2yearsofYOI #Yuri on Ice #personal

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shemakesmeforget · 5 years

Text

Back when it was the bysotid drought, I had a dream and that became a fake bysotid verse fic. After that, I decided to write 20!!! fake fics (even though I can’t write) so yeah... a huge thanks to @diedraechin for existing and for helping me with #4 and #8

1 - 20 of 537 Works in Katsuki Yuuri

Title: Hot Wet Japanese Summer

Author: shouriftw

Length: 3403 (Chapters: 1/1)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Nakagawa Shouta

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Nakagawa Shouta

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Swimmer! Yuuri, Explicit Sexual Content, they fuck in the pool okay?

After a long day of practice, Yuuri decides he wants to stay in the pool for a bit longer... only if Shouta stays with him.

Title: BYSOTID the show

Author: skatinginreverse

Length: 36201 (6/?)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov, Nakagawa Shouta/Tatsuno Shuji, Alexei Turov/Turov Riku

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Nakagawa Shouta, Tatsuno Shuji, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku, Yakov Feltsman, Katya Babicheva, Christophe Giacometti, everyone in FS

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - TV Show, Alternate Universe - Actors, Social Media, Mutual Pining, UST, Secret Dating, Fluff, Angst, Humor, Romantic Comedy

"I can't believe they haven't kissed already, I'd kiss you there and then" also known as Yuuri's freudian slip.

Viktor is all smiles "Oh really? How? You know, for science"

Or…

The successful Teen TV show AU following the life of Yuuri Katsuki, a 14-year-old figure skater moving to Russia to train with his idol and… they’re still not dating.

All the drama and diva moments from the actors and sweet romance for the masses.

Title: Not as Sweet as You

Author: bellepelle

Length: 1402 (1/1)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Reader

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Reader

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Dating, Fluff

Yuuri was stressing about the competition so you take him out for ice cream. Under the sunset light you couldn't resist and ended up confessing your hearts most intimate desire.

Translated from Russian, original by viktorkatsuki

Part 1 of My World

Title: The Magic in You

Author: livelaughskate

Length: 208021 (14/14)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov, Katya Babicheva/Nymphadora Tonks

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Katya Babicheva, Nymphadora Tonks, Albus Dumbledore, Yakov Feltsman, Alexei Turov, Minerva McGonagall, and a lot more

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Howarts, Magic, Enemies to Lovers, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Some Fluff, Angst, Angst with a happy ending

Viktor never liked being in someone else's shadow. And just when he thought he'd broken out of Lyosha Turov's shadow, Dumbledore tells everyone that Turov's (the pride and joy of Gryffindor post Maurauder Era) protégé was transferring from Japan to Hogwarts! A fact that Katya and her girlfriend Tonks find neverendlessly amusing. But when Turov's protégé turns out to be a fan of Viktor's, he doesn't know what to do!

Title: IDOL

Author: EXCITEhime

Length: 9813 (3/?)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Tatsuno Shuji

Characters: Tatsuno Shuji, Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Nakawaga Shouta, Noda Haruka, other idols, lots of OCs

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Guitarist Yuuri, Singer Shuji, Stalker Viktor, Fandom, Social Media, Fake Dating, Mutual Pining, Drama, Angst with a happy ending, so much drama

“Nobody is gonna hurt you… I won’t let them” Shuji said between tears.

“So... are we really doing this?” Yuuri asked, still very agitated.

“It’s the only option! the police won’t do anything about it” distressed, Shuji held Yuuri close to him.

“Okay” he whispered, holding him back.

AKA

Shuji and Yuuri have been bandmates for 3 years and when Viktor tries to kidnap Yuuri they decide that fake dating might keep him away… little did they know.

Title: Dream a little dream

Author: bellepelle

Length: 1225 (1/1)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Reader

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Reader

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Compliant, Wedding, Fluff, Humor, you’ll die of a sugar overdose

All your wildest dreams are about to come true, you were actually getting married to Yuuri Katsuki and happiness forever is waiting.

Translated from Russian, original by viktorkatsuki

Part 2 of My World

Title: tango for three

Author: katsukiaddict

Length: 4051 (1/1)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Nakagawa Shouta/Tatsuno Shuji

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Post Canon, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M/M, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Blow jobs, Porn without Plot/Porn what Plot, Katsuki Yuuri’s famous stamina, set after high school so shut it, highly self indulgent

In their high school reunion, dancing the night away could have been amazing but what they did instead was way better.

Title: All you need is love… and cats!

Author: rawmechris

Length: 4953 (1/1)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Christophe Giacometti/Katsuki Yuuri

Characters: Christophe Giacometti, Katsuki Yuuri

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Meet Cute, Getting Together, Cats, Chrischan the cat, Explicit Sexual Content

"OH? You have a rag doll cat too? Aren't they adorable? And they just love being petted.” Chris purrs and Yuuri finds his face heating even more, but he doesn't get a chance to say anything because Chris starts talking again. “There really is nothing as enjoyable as getting petted. Has anyone ever stroked you, Yuuri?”

(or… Yuuri and Chris bond over cats, Chris gets to pet Yuuri’s cat and something else wink wink).

Title: Music with your body

Author: katsukidon

Length: 472 (Chapters: 1/1)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri

Tags: Music, Lyrics, Song Fic, kinda, Program analysis, Drabble, Under: 500 words, who is he skating for???

An interpretation of Yuuri’s FS program

(in which the author writes lyrics for Yuuri’s FS music)

10.

Title: Pas de quatre

Author: undertheice

Length: 32152 (7/?)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Phichit Chulanont, Phichit Chulanont/Christophe Giacometti, Christophe Giacometti/Viktor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov, Mila Babicheva/Sara Crispino

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti, Viktor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin, Lee Seung Gil, Sara Crispino, Mila Babicheva

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College, Alternate Universe - Roommates, they all live together in a frat house, Drama, Angst, Romance, Fluff, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, kinda, Explicit Sexual Content, Endgame Viktuuri, Endgame Phichimetti, or maybe… endgame polyamory

Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit Chulanont are high school sweethearts that got in the same frat house, add some hot boys and trouble in paradise… Will their love survive? Is it strong enough? Things aren’t always what they seem and you’re about to find out.

11.

Title: let’s keep it coming

Author: katsudamn

Length: 9265 (1/1)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Phichit Chulanont, Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov, Christophe Giacometti/Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Yuuri/Lee Seung Gil, Katsuki Yuuri/Michele Crispino, Katsuki Yuuri/everyone

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Phichit Chulanont, Viktor Nikiforov, Christophe Giacometti, Lee Seung Gil, Michele Crispino, everyone in fs

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Olympic games, Yuuri wins the olympics and fucks everyone, Explicit Sexual Content

Still ecstatic about winning olympic gold, Yuuri sets his mind for other prizes and he is determined to get gold with each one of them.

12.

Title: je t'aime mon amour

Author: viknik1

Length: 9153 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Christophe Giacometti/Viktor Nikiforov

Characters: Christophe Giacometti, Viktor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku, Yakov Feltsman, Stéphane Lambiel, Katya Babicheva, Josef Karpisek

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Wedding, Fluff, Romance, Pets

It’s summer time in Geneva, the perfect time for a wedding. Chris and Viktor are finally saying yes forever, featuring Yuuri and Stéphane as the best men and Makkachin as the ring bearer.

13.

Title: 雅

Author: nakatsuki

Length: 12158 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Nakagawa Shouta

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Nakagawa Shouta, Tatsuno Shuji, Noda Haruka, all the idols

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Secret Dating

When Shouta saw Yuuri for the first time he fell, literally he fell on slippery hallway floor. And Yuuri? he fainted because of the hot weather… or the hot boy.

Please follow for more fun and silly romance!!

14.

Title: At last

Author: skateprincess

Length: 2053 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Takagi Keiko

Characters: Takagi Keiko, Katsuki Yuuri, Aaron Reyes, Aida Masao, other skaters at 4CC

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Compliant, 4CC, Fluff, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Romance, this is so cute y’all

After being rinkmates and friends for a long time, Yuuri and Keiko want to take their relationship one step further, but who’s gonna make the first move?

15.

Title: Champion

Author: katsukidon

Length: 7053 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Stéphane Lambiel, Aida Masao, Katya Babicheva, Takagi Keiko, Nobunari Oda

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Olympics, Figure Skating, Pole Dancing, Romance, they’re clearly gay for each other, highly self indulgent, I just want my boy to win everything

#shouldhaveorderedthekatsudon

Yuuri Katsuki goes to the Olympics, wins the gold medal and wins the boy.

16.

Title: Stammi Vicino High

Author: binktop

Length: 7123 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Katya Babicheva, Mila Babicheva, Georgi Popovich, Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku, Christophe Giacometti, Aaron Reyes

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - High School, no age difference, set nowhere because I can, Ice Skating, Soccer, Dogs, Anxiety, Fluff, Humor, Slow Burn, Angst, Light Angst, Rivalry, sort of, Viktor is a diva, Yuuri is precious but bites back

Yuuri transfers to Stammi Vicino High and falls in love with Viktor Nikiforov, the most popular guy. He doesn’t even dare to dream about confessing because this is Viktor’s senior year. In the meantime, Viktor is oblivious to shy Yuuri, but he is very aware of the new midfielder in the soccer team.

17.

Title: We found love in a hopeless place

Author: puripuri

Length: 37087 (5/?)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Nakagawa Shouta, Christophe Giacometti/Viktor Nikiforov, Tatsuno Shuji/Noda Haruka

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Nakagawa Shouta, Tatsuno Shuji, Noda Haruka, Christophe Giacometti, Viktor Nikiforov, all the idols and all the skaters

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Pet Date, look… it makes sense pls trust me

The first people that came to see if they were a match were the famous figure skaters Viktor and Chris. That was the first match Yuuri made and he was very happy. After trying the matching coffee himself, Yuuri realized he didn’t have a soulmate but at least the new barista was in the same position.

18.

Title: Skating Fam

Author: allforkatsudon

Length: 8120 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Alexei Turov, Katsuki Yuuri & Turov Riku, Alexei Turov/Turov Riku, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku

Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Tragedy, Yuuri is an orphan, Adoption, Skate fam is actually a real fam, Light Angst, as light as it can be, Fluff, you’re gonna cry

After a tragic accident, Yuuri is left alone with no family… or that’s what he thought. He already knew the Turovs are kind people but not to this extent.

19.

Title: Shooting stars!!!

Author: knifeshoes

Length: 7053 (1/1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: The Russian Fam, Viktor Nikiforov & Yakov Feltsman, Katya Babicheva & Yakov Feltsman, Katsuki Yuuri & Viktor Nikiforov, Katya Babicheva & Viktor Nikiforov,

Characters: Yakov Felstman, Viktor Nikiforov, Stéphane Lambiel, Katsuki Yuuri, Christophe Giacometti, Aida Masao, Katya Babicheva, Takagi Keiko, Nobunari Oda, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Hockey, instead of an ice show they play a hockey game, humor, crack

It was all Yakov Feltsman’s idea, after a tiring season, he decided his skaters needed something different and well… hockey happened. And yes, they’re using the right skates and all!

20.

Title: The Three Muskeeters

Author: viknik1

Length: 22153 (5/11)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Christophe Giacometti/Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov

Characters: Christophe Giacometti, Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Alexei Turov, Turov Riku, Yakov Feltsman, Stéphane Lambiel, Katya Babicheva, Seung Gil Lee, Phichit Chulanont

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Roommates, Polyamory, M/M/M, Fluff, Humor, bad puns

After living together for many years, Yuuri, Chris and Viktor realized that what they've been looking for was right there in front of them.

Yuuri, Chris and Viktor decide that they work better as lovers than friends. ANGST FREE!

#don't be mean to me lol pls #i can't write #this 2k words are an illusion

57 notes · View notes

punkdaddylouis · 5 years

Text

quatre: you fit me better than my favorite sweater ♡♡

here comes chapter four :D for whoever cares to read...

♡♡♡♡

"See you tomorrow, Hazza!" Jade, his colleague at Velvety Roses, waves goodbye to Harry as she and her other friend Leigh-Anne descend from the dressing room with their forearms linked, leaving Harry alone in the room, still dressed in his casual clothing.

He smiles contentedly as he sits down and shimmies his bag off of his shoulder, focusing on the mirror and his reflection on it, switching on the yellow light bulbs that are placed along its frame.

He doesn't have any circles under his eyes tonight, it seems; no trace of the tiredness and exhaustion that used to always be prevalent in his system, maybe the full-nights of sleep that he's been getting lately has finally began to pay off.

Harry smiles to himself, knowing that his improved sleeping schedule is very much a derivative of who he is spending his nights in bed with. Harry's been feeling giddy and ecstatic lately, and since he doesn't want to jinx it, he opts for keeping it to himself. The whole thing.

Yes, he hasn't told any of his friends yet about Louis; the unmarried man he's been sleeping with for over the past two months now. Gemma and his mum are the only people that he even decided to inform about this matter, and Harry thinks he'll let it stay that way for now—for as long as he can manage, really.

The only problem is, he and Louis aren't even official yet (technically). Sure, they text every day, talking about their lives and their favorites, and basically anything that crosses their minds, but other than that, neither of them have deemed to put a label on what they are. Not explicitly, anyway.

To be honest, I immensely despise marmite chicken.

Really now ? But they're brilliant ! I'd love it if you would cook me some actually, mon amour ;) xx

Ugh, Lewiiiiiiiis. But okay :) anything for DADDY

No , but seriously ?

Seriously. But you know whattttttt?

What , baby ? :)

I wanna be the Coney Island queen...

Oh , but you are !! :)

But like, I kinda wanna live there, see. I wanna build a house near that place, I wanna be able to visit it any time??

Well ... babe , again , you will :) just you wait and see ! ;)

Huh. What do you mean 'just wait and see?' :o

Louis.

LOUIS?

Daddy! :/

It has been nearly three months since they first met, like officially met—nearly three months since Harry went over to Louis' place for a proper introduction.

After Louis' returned from his trip to Paris back in mid-July, they've gone out on posh dates, well, that's what Harry calls it, and they still regularly go out whenever Louis' free. Louis has taken him to extravagant restaurants around LA, bought him flowers and offered him joyrides downtown, and whenever they got back to Louis' mansion in Beverly Hills they'd have mind blowing sex that would make Harry feel like he's walking on air for days.

They call each other when they're not together, having decided that they didn't want to limit their communication to just texting, visit the other when one is working and the other isn't, and just, they can't seem to get enough of one another—it's almost like they're over-infatuated teenagers that are undeniably in lust with their brand new crush and it's addicting. Louis has been painting different versions of Harry relentlessly, and Harry has been basking in Louis' talent and open devotion to him. It's the type of infatuation that's more like a whirlwind and Harry wants to swim in it forever.

When Louis is gone to destinations for work and Harry is unable to visit him, Louis usually brings home souvenirs or postcards when he returns.

"So, hey, I was at work tonight and I heard this song on the radio and thought of you. Just thought I'd call you up and share the news," Harry rasps over the line, grinning madly to himself, talking about an 80's love song he heard from the radio.

"That's cute, baby," Louis replies in a fond voice, sighing on the other line. "I'm actually signing some papers at the moment. Exhausting, if you ask me. I'm glad you called, just what I needed. Thank you."

Harry hums, nodding despite the fact Louis doesn't see him.

And then after a beat of comfortable silence, "God, I wanna see you, Lou," Harry confesses, groaning. "Miss you."

"I know, baby," Louis agrees softly, his tone near-cooing. "But I have to finish with this, though... Hmm. How about I take the first flight Friday morning and hop on a plane to get home to you, oui? And then before you even wake up the next day I'll be on that bed of yours, sucking you off so good you won't even know how to breathe proper. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan..."

"Mhmm. Glad we agree."

It's been set in stone that Louis will be painting every version of Harry that he can possibly dream up—which Harry feels so special and beautiful—and so he dresses up for the older lad to have his figure translated on the canvases, articulately painted on by various paintbrushes and oil paints.

They do this a lot, even though it's only possible for them to do it when Freya's not around. The lass parties a lot, and it has only made more sense to Harry that she and Louis didn't really share a lot of things in common because, apparently, she was adopted when she was a teenager and had a difficult time throughout her past. Now she's rebelling, and her actions only worsened when her dads parted ways years prior. She's more fond of Phil, Harry now understands—that guy who broke Louis' heart by cheating. Harry isn't really that bothered by any of this, now that he knows...a little.

Taking out his outfit for his tonight's performance, Harry immediately strips off his casual clothing and then slips on a new pair of tight women's jeans and his new pink floral sheer shirt he bought from YSL. He fixes his hair as he looks at the mirror, ruffles it a few notches, and then slips on his trademark headscarf, some of his curls sticking out. He decides to leave them be. For the final touch, Harry puts the clip-on earring (a cross design, because he and his sister have got an affinity for cross and it's their thing now), the one Gemma got him last week, and he's finally done by wearing his sparkly boots.

Harry slips out of the dressing room to see if his mate, Ed, has already finished with his own performance on stage, but when he sees he is only halfway through his last set, it gives Harry a few more spare minutes to relax in the dressing room.

He sits yet again on his stool, tapping his fingers against the chipped wood of his vanity. He didn't have an incoming text from Louis when Harry checked it early on, and he wonders if there is one now. He isn't unlocking his phone to find out though, he's too anxious to do so. In the end, Harry just picks up the lipstick straying in his reach and applies some on his lips, completing it by pursing his plump lips together. And Harry wants to giggle as he stares back at his own reflection, because fuck if he doesn't look great. Louis will totally bend him over his desk later on tonight, he's sure of it. Harry grins wickedly at the thought, feeling himself blush at the image entertaining his mind.

~*~

Harry's got five songs in his set list for the night, all will be played by Ed, who is his backup guitarist, and he's ready to perform as soon as he steps on the stage, the spotlight focused solely on his figure, playing glorious shadows with the contours of his body.

This is what Harry loves doing, he has always loved it, but now he's loving it even more—especially now he's got inspiration. Harry puts on his most charming smile, knowing Louis has promised to be in the audience tonight, wanting to give his best. He's picked out his most favorite songs he has spent days rehearsing over and over again, and he's determined to show his daddy what he's worthy of.

The room is dimmed, Velvety Roses once again filled with men and queer folks, the majority of the crowd being bikers and drunken travelers from either the south or up north.

Harry grips his personal microphone, the green taped below visible to the audience, his gaze searching the crowd for a certain man with the fiercest persona he's ever been acquainted with in his entire entity. The one man that's actually made him feel sexy and fuckable by just being stared down by him. The one man that can give him one piercing, icy gaze racking over his body and make him feel weak in the knees. The one man that can make him either bend over a table and beg to be fucked or drop down to his knees in a millisecond flat, mouth wide open so his throat will get gagged, mouthful of thick, hard cock. Louis fucking Tomlinson. His man, his painter, his Frenchman fresh from Paris, who always smells of expensive perfume, always is adorning Rolex watches on his wrist and loves driving him places with his black Mercedes Benz.

Harry licks his lips just as his eyes stop directly on him, finally; there, right there. Louis is seated on a stool by the bar, wearing what Harry can make out to be some royal blue blazer and trousers that match, his soft fringe brushed up, revealing his forehead, aviators perched over his nose and covering his dominating blue eyes, a flower pinned to his suit's breast pocket, probably an indication he's just gone to some event and went straight from there to see Harry without bothering to change. And fuck—fuck he looks good, is the thing. Daddy looks so fucking god-like, a fucking modern-day James Dean. And Harry's so weak for him; so, so weak for him.

Has seemingly noticed he's been looking, Louis raises his hand holding a pint and commemorates a toast to Harry. Harry just nods, face instantly numbing with heat, shoulders sagging into submission. Yep, Harry the usually confident and notorious harlot is a downright submissive when it comes to Louis, and yes, it's insanely ridiculous.

"Good evening, boys," Harry greets over the crowd, his voice echoing all over the dingy ole bar. Wolf whistles and loud whooping erupt from the audience, men of different sizes and colors clapping enthusiastically. Harry smiles his best, batting his eyelashes in a flirtatious manner. "How's everyone's night so far? If there's any newcomers here, please kindly stand so the veterans can welcome y'all."

There are four or five newcomers who stand, earning greetings from others, and Harry spends that chance to look at Louis across the bar yet again, catching Louis watching him intently while sipping on his beer. Harry winks at the older man, before proceeding to speak over the mic. "So, tonight folks, Ed here, you guys know him. He is gonna be my guitarist. And of course, as per usual I'll be singing five different songs for you all."

There's another round of bustling and applause, but when it dies down, Harry takes that as his cue. Ed starts plucking, strumming the first notes.

And so Harry closes his eyes and starts with the first verse, already quite into the moment. "Blue jeans, white shirt. Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn. It was like, James Dean, for sure... You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer..."

~*~

Harry tries not to squirm as Louis nibbles on his left ear. He fails anyway, giggling madly as he scoots away from Louis' reach. "Look so beautiful tonight, baby," Louis murmurs softly, smiling from the driver's seat. "Earring looks perfect on you, too, maybe I should buy you a whole set."

"Really now," Harry challenges, cocking a brow at Louis mischievously. He's lighting a cigar, putting it in between his lips.

"Oui, chéri. You look pretty in them," Louis insists as he nods vigorously to get his point across, turning onto a street and honking at another car. They're on their way back to Louis', with Louis driving them both in his car number three, as Harry marks it. He's got six of them, so it's best to just be naming them by numbers. Harry sometimes goes to work without bringing his own car, knowing Louis will fetch him in one of his exuberant vehicles.

"Fine, fine. Thank you, babe, but that's a no," Harry responds after his giggling fit, blushing red. He thinks nice try with Louis even suggesting buying him things. Don't get Harry wrong—he believes Louis' only being sweet and nice at the same time for spoiling him, but. Really. Louis spends ridiculous amounts of money on him, despite the money usually going towards dates and free rides, free food. Perhaps buying him something every once in a while is good, but not this soon though. Louis has literally just bought Harry a new cellphone, he doesn't need anything else.

Shaking his head at the thought, Harry exhales the grey smoke and makes a face after realizing they're suffocated inside the car.

"Are you sure? But you'll definitely look wonderful in other designs, Harry," Louis presses on. Harry shuts him up by leaning over and kissing his open mouth. Louis moans in response, and before he can even kiss back, Harry pulls away and sticks his tongue out, teasing Louis and making him make that gaping, surprised look he's giving Harry, and then takes another drag from his cigar. "Tease you are, doll. Keep it up and daddy won't fuck you tonight," Louis tells him.

Laying back, Harry puts his legs up and rolls down the window next to him, letting the brisk evening air swell against his face, grabbing a stick of gum and starting chewing. He lets his smoke join the fluttering wisps of wind as he ignores Louis' threat altogether; knowing full well, not he nor Louis actually believes that bullshit. "So, where were you before you went to VR? You look pretty fancy to me, wearing that suit and everything." He gestures with his hand to give emphasis to what he's pertaining to.

Humming, Louis stops at a red light and thrums his fingers against the steering wheel, glancing at Harry. "Was called in to have a meeting with the rest of the gallery insulators just this afternoon; discussed a few things, mostly about the blueprinting of the place... They needed me in a tux, I gave them matching suits." Louis smiles again, removing his aviators and wearing them to Harry, catching Harry off guard a bit. "Did you like it?"

Harry bites his lip, keeping himself from breaking into a fully wide grin at that. "Like?" He breathes out, fixing the glasses over his nose and pecking Louis' hand. "I love it, Lou. Truly," he says honestly. "How was the meeting, though?"

Louis shrugs. "Alright."

Harry nods.

The ride doesn't take long now, the two of them laughing about absolutely nothing and every little thing mentioned, and before Harry can even finish his third cigarette, Louis' pulling him inside the house and is backing him up against the wall, hungrily going for his jaw and nipping at his skin, the chance that Valeria could be lingering by the kitchen doorway be damned. Harry laughs as he has the need to drop his cigarette stick on the floor's tiles, hugging Louis with his right leg and letting their groins grind.

"Honey, don't you think we should..." Harry starts but sooner trails off, just as Louis lets out a low mixture of growl and moan, letting go of Harry and then dashing up the stairs, looking back just to signal Harry to follow him.

Harry does as he's told, taking two steps at a time as he ties up his hair in a bun.

Once they get to Louis' room, Harry is bent over the bed with his arse poised upwards into thin air in record time, Louis lingering behind him, probably admiring his pert bum from behind, given the fact he's not even touching Harry but just breathing on his exposed hole. Harry groans and squirms, whining his protests at all of the impatience that's swirling in his abdomen. "Sshh, baby. Just... let daddy look at your beauty for a little while more," Louis whispers huskily, obviously hot but is refraining in the name of casually admiring someone's ass. Jesus.

Hot in the ears, Harry swallows as he wiggles his ass a bit, face smashed against the plush pillows on Louis' bed, hands clutching the sheets as he waits it out. He can feel his muscles retracting at each fan of breath Louis lets out that hits his cooling skin, feeling his dick already forming a semi. And fuck, Harry needs Louis to do something.

"Please..." He pleads, word muffled by the sheets.

"So, so beautiful, baby. So pink, that hole of yours. I love it. If only I can paint you looking like this. So loose, so submissive for daddy," Louis recites, tone of voice clearly enticed, and wow. He really, surely makes Harry feel so admired—treasured—and cherished. And no man has ever... not in this level of, not this way, considering he'd always been just a fuck. Harry's heart feels as though it will fucking explode, just thinking about the possibility that he may not be anymore.

Writhing on the bed, Harry untangles his legs from the duvet and spreads his thighs for Louis' sake of better access. He hears the older man hum in appreciation as he does just that. Harry thinks he's ready. Like so damn ready.

Moments to their silence, eventually so, Louis grabs on Harry's arse cheeks and slaps one of them, making Harry hiss in both pleasure and striking pain, pushing forward and sheets-clenching. Louis yet again lets out a low growl, and then he's suddenly sticking his tongue across Harry's sensitive rim, tasting him, spiky stubble against meaty flesh.

Moans and multiple incoherence escape Harry's lips just as Louis' started properly eating him, tongue lapping across his hole and nibbling, thin lips against tingling pink skin. "Oh, jesus fuck," Harry suppresses in a low voice, breathing heavily in and out. Louis rewards him with another spanking at that, making him yet again yelp and writhe responsively, consistent currents of arousal coursing through his veins and going directly to his untouched cock. He can feel himself leaking and it's driving him fucking mad.

"Tellement bon pour papa," Louis murmurs against his puckered hole, eager tongue pushing in and out, hot breath fanning and rendering goosebumps on Harry's exposed arms.

"Louis... Louis..." Harry chants in loud squeaks, "please, daddy... just... please..." Harry doesn't really know what he's begging for if he's honest, but with situations such as this one, he can't seem to help murmur words out of his mind. It's ridiculous. They are ridiculous. But Harry thinks they fit anyway.

And so it goes. Louis continues to eat him out, hand spanking his ass again and making him moan loud, before going for his completely hardened dick between his thighs, and then pumping on it fast. Harry feels wrecked quite already after that, can't stay still, pushing and pushing his ass toward Louis' face for more, more, more. Louis gives it to him, he's a non-difficult negotiator when it comes to giving anyway. He may be is born to give.

After a few more thrusts, Louis frees him for just two seconds and then quickly flips him over, spreading his legs wide. Harry's so dizzy with pleasure he can barely see straight now.

And until it all gets blurry from there, being the only thing Harry is remembering is that of Louis fucking him hard without the use of condom and only lubricant, leaving him limp and pliant in contentment afterwards, cleaning him up off come and the both of them sleeping the night off, cuddled up in heavenly soft bundles.

He also remembers Louis kissing the top of his head as he spoons him from behind.

~*~

By the time Harry stirs awake the next day, he finds himself curled up in a ball, strong, tattooed arms wrapped around his torso, soft snores being pressed against his nape. Harry allows it as Louis' still deep in his slumber.

Harry ever so slowly takes Louis' arm off his body and presses his feet on the ground, stretching his arms wide and then padding across the room. Harry gets in the bathroom with nothing on, switches the lights on, and borrowing a toothbrush from Louis. He brushes his teeth to get rid of the staleness that formed overnight, washes his face with cold water, and then takes a morning wee.

When Harry leaves the loo, he sees Louis' still peacefully sleeping, so that gives him more time to himself.

He sits on his rumpled side of the bed, and gives into the urge to look at Louis' sleeping figure next to him, and to just like, admire what he's like. He stares for a bit before the thought occurs that watching Louis sleep is weird and creepily intimate, considering they aren't even official. The realization brings a stinging feeling in Harry's stomach. For some reason that he can't define.

Speaking of, Harry should probably cook them some breakfast.

Picking up his underwear off the ground, Harry quickly slips it on, and then, seeing as his overnight clothes are all somewhat dried off of the work's worth of sweat, Harry disregards them and just goes straight to Louis' closet and plunders it for something he can fit into. He chooses an oversized jumper in the end since it's the only thing that can wrap around his bigger frame. It's a lavender colored one and is tremendously cute, and it's large enough that it stops on his thighs and leaves his underwear out of plain sight, creating sweater paws with how long each sleeve is. Harry happily sneaks out the room wearing just that, and then he travels down to the kitchen, meeting Valeria halfway there.

"Hi!" Harry greets her cheerfully, waving a hand and dimpling, leaving Valeria no choice but to swallow down her French and say Hello back, accent exceptionally thick. Giggling at the sound of it, Harry proceeds to the kitchen and drags the old woman with him, linking their arms together enthusiastically, as though they've been the best of buddies for years. It is the first time Harry hears Valeria's laughter bubble from her lips, asking how last night had went—casually too! Well, Harry's just as proud and vocal as he tells her about everything, from his performance to the ride back home, minus the awesome sex, though. Because he's kind enough to spare her those details.

When they reach the kitchen, they both help each other make pancakes and tea, Valeria willingly giving Harry the details as to where things are around the massive place, and as to how does Louis like his breakfast each morning in 'the Mademoiselle Valeria way'. Harry's just really happy he gets along with the housemaid, no matter if she's only that; a housemaid.

Two sunny side ups, a few sausages and mountains of perfectly browned pancakes later, Harry and Valeria take the trays full of food with them and soldier back up the staircase, taking their time strolling along the long quiet hallway, and then stopping at the door to Louis' room.

It's Harry who hip-checks the door open to reveal a still sleeping Louis by the bed, only now that the man has changed positions. Harry nods at Valeria as she beckons to place the tray by the bedside table, and then she leaves with a kind smile right after that. Harry, on the other hand, places the tray he's holding on the other bedside table where Louis lies near, leaning down to whisper in Louis' ear.

"Mon amour," Harry coos, attempting French. It causes him to laugh when Louis pries an eye open at hearing him say that.

"Bonjour, chéri," Louis rasps, smiling tiny at him. Harry smiles back, his heart pounding drastically in his chest at how blue, blue, blue Louis' eyes are as he looks back at him, especially when the sunlight is hitting his face like this, softly contoured eyelids and nose and cheekbones presented like magnificence at its best. Harry aches to touch him, feel the stubble that, yet again, left rashes on his pale, sensitive bum and thighs—serving as a reminder just how sensational Louis Tomlinson truly is.

"Made you breakfast, Lou. Heard pancakes with the side of eggs and sausages are your favorites..."

"Ooh," Louis muses in excitement, chuckling lightly. He sits up slowly after a while, and Harry immediately busies himself bringing the trays over to the bed, placing each in between himself and Louis, laying the food down. "This is so lovely, Haz," is what Louis says as he takes his first bite out of three layers of pancake, chewing happily. "I didn't know you can cook! I'm so used to French and Italian cuisines, but this," Louis stops to take another large bite out of a sausage with a piece of egg, before finishing his sentence with a mouthful, "this is good."

Seeing the bright smile painting Louis' lips as he eats, Harry can't help smile to himself as well as he looks down on his own food-full of plate, mentally patting his head in victory at his success of having Louis' clear as day stamp of approval at his cooking skills. He thinks perhaps he'll cook for Louis more in the future... like, just to see that wonderful, handsome smile again. Especially the part where Louis' eyes are crinkling at the sides, cheeks dented with hints of dimples and pinks. And Harry never even knew Louis has dimples. That's news. Amazing news.

After they're done eating, Louis sets their trays aside and pulls Harry back in bed with him, nuzzling his face against Harry's exposed collarbone. "Glad you loved the breakfast I cooked, Lou."

"Mhmm," Louis hums in affirmation, pressing a soft, lingering kiss on Harry's throat. "Was so good, baby. I'm impressed."

"Valeria helped me a bit. She's a very nice woman," Harry says softly.

"She is, she is. Been working under me since my twenties."

"Really?" Harry drawls, grinning down at Louis because of the new information, imagination kicking in as he thinks about a young version of Louis, already posh and oh so lovely with less wrinkles and brisk skin, fringe softer and probably always kept lying against his forehead, being served by a French younger Valeria, early discovery of his talent in painting on the works. And then there's the thought of a younger Louis in French style clothing next, suspenders and tight trousers hugging his thighs and legs probably, flat vintage shoes with his ankles out, beret or potato type of hats atop his head, long and thick black eyelashes cascading shadows over the hollows of his prominent cheekbones. And damn—damn if Harry's not so fond of him; damn if Harry's not so drawn in his daydream he actually forgets just how he's literally holding the older version of the same Louis he's imagining inside his head.

Harry's just...he just really feels blessed to have met Louis amidst his laid back lifestyle.

He can still remember how things had went for him before all these. He used to sleep with different men each night, going home with them after a night spent working at VR, and then leaving first thing in the morning with not so much as a greeting, credits left unspoken despite a previously good hell of a fuck.

It's different with Louis though; it's a whole different story when it comes to the old Frenchman, it seems. This one, Harry actually enjoys spending time with, has so much fun with, has several laughing moments with. Harry never did that to any man he'd ever let either fuck or touch him from the past. Just Louis. And it's only Louis, too, that he's ever confessed how he wishes he could just forget his job and fly to New York next, make rounds in Coney Island, build a house near there and then spend the rest of his life visiting back and forth and spend time making memories at the Boardwalk.

Call Harry a child, call Harry juvenile, but it's what he's always wanted. Living nearby Coney Island will always be in his Bucket List, and he'll always be proud of that optimum. There are many things Harry likes. One of which being dressed up. And then there's the freedom of wearing lipstick, wearing head scarves, wearing earrings, prancing gracefully, having his hair grown freely, singing songs for men, painting his nails various colors and all that...

But there are more things Harry wants done, and if only he can go to Coney Island...

"You look perfect in my clothes, sweetheart, maybe I should let you wear them all the time," Louis suddenly tells Harry, breaking him from his heavy thinking.

Harry smiles down at Louis' grinning facial expression in a lieu of compensating, fireworks exploding for the first time ever since they looked at each other this close and this serene; Louis looks like the sun, Harry decides, and Harry is the moon. Louis' moon. The one running after him, but not being given a chance by the universe itself anyway. It's gonna be exhausting, it's the inevitable, but Harry the moon will do anything just to get to Louis the sun in any way he can either way, so there really is no point of discussion.

"Well, I love being in your clothes. They smell just like you. Makes me feel safe wearing them," Harry tells Louis honestly.

Louis laughs lightly, tapping Harry's chin. "I am glad, baby doll," he says, voice a bit groggy. Harry leans in and captures Louis' lips, closing his eyes at the instant bliss it gives, sucking at the man's bottom lip much longer, before letting go of it with a flourish. "Say, what do you feel about going out of town, Harry?"

Harry opens his eyes. "Mmhm, where to?"

Wiggling his eyebrows, Louis grins widely. "You know... to the city that never sleeps? I am not working for a week, so I thought maybe... you might want to ask that boss of yours for a leave of absence, so—"

"Yes!" Harry squeals, not even letting Louis finish his sentence, excitement bursting through his veins. He's so excited about going he has just lost all traces of finesse. "Yes, yes, yes, Louis! Oh, my God!"

Laughing, Louis flips them over and Harry goes along with it, laughing too. And then they're rolling uncontrollably as they hug each other, both of them ending up lying on the floor. Harry hurriedly scrambles up to his feet just as he's recovered from his excitement, straddling Louis' hips and leaning down to snog him senseless. Harry feels so ecstatic he's afraid he might just burst from it.

#baby loves when daddy gets high #my fic #fic rec #blwdghfour #chapter four now! :D #here ya go #i love youuuuuu #cheshirebottom #octobertwo #ao3 #larry au #larry fic #hope u support my writing #the del rey series

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youvegotyourvictory · 6 years

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Hamilton on Broadway

08.25.18

Yesterday was two months since I saw Hamilton with one of my very best friends. Making a list of some things I never want to forget.

1. I imagine death so much, it feels more like a memory

I’ve been listening to Hamilton for almost two and a half years. This line still hits me the same way it did when I was first learning the words.

2. Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now

At the most random times, this line hits me like a bus. It’s not every day, but sometimes I do think about how miraculous it is that any of us are alive. How lucky we are.

3. King George is even funnier live and the album really doesn’t do his facial expressions justice, there’s no way it could. Just.....every time he was on stage, I laughed

4. Dying is easy, young man, living is harder

I think about this line all the time. Washington says it to Alex and obviously it speaks to Alex’s character, because he’s always willing to die but never really willing to use his strengths to stay alive. He always wants to fight and is ready to verbally take down anyone he deems fit—willing to die in a war that’s never really going to be his own, just to prove himself. All of that is so much easier than living.

5. Eliza in Helpless

I already love Eliza so much—both fictionalized character and real life woman—but she’s so cute in Helpless. It’s so great to see her this in love.

6. King George saying, “Everybody!” in You’ll Be Back and people coming out of the woodwork just so they can sing along with him

7. If there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died then I’m willing to wait for it

I’ve spent a few late nights thinking about this, thinking of the legacy Burr left behind—how he just wanted to keep his mouth shut and stay out of trouble, until the moment it really counted. I can’t imagine all that must’ve motivated him, knowing he was the only person he had left. Everyone around him had died, and still he wanted to keep his head down and wait for a reason to do more.

8. Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

It’s probably for the best that this song isn’t on the original cast recording because if it was I would definitely cry every time I listened to it. I can’t even begin to express how much it kills me that John Laurens died before he could lead his regiment to safety—and ultimately, freedom. And Alex’s reaction to it, his pause and then, breathless, “I have so much work to do”—his immediate need to work faster and harder than he had before. There’s no doubt anywhere that he was deeply in love with Laurens.

On Tuesday the 27th, my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops retreating from South Carolina. The war was already over. As you know, John dreamed of emancipating and recruiting three thousand men for the first all-black military regiment. His dream of freedom for these men dies with him.

9. The part of Non-Stop when Angelica and Eliza are on the outer ring of the stage and then Hamilton is talking about both of them and once he’s done talking to Angelica the stage starts moving so she drifts away from him and then Eliza comes in to view

This is really one you just have to see in person to fully appreciate

10. Jefferson in the purple suit

I have never seen an article of clothing transform someone so easily and completely. Before, Lafayette was careful, calculated, etc, but as soon as the purple suit came out, he did a total 180 and strutted everywhere, fully in control of the stage. It was like magic.

11. Hamilton’s green suit

It’s a look and probably an aesthetic choice that some people don’t care for, but boy do I love it

12. The cabinet battles

Honestly what took everything to that next level was the fact that we were in New York watching it. Hearing “You could’ve been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City” felt so....incredible because I had never even listened to Hamilton in the city before. And it was true—we really could’ve been anywhere else, but we were there, in the theatre, watching it all unfold.

13. Take a Break

One of my favorites in the play, due entirely to Alex and Angelica’s exchange in the second verse. Also, Eliza’s beatboxing and Philip’s pride when he raps for Alex is something I wish I could replay forever. Hearing the screams of “un, deux, trois, quatre, and CIIIIIIIIIINQ” was something that made all of us burst into cheers and applause

In a letter I received from you two weeks ago, I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning—did you intend this? One stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days. It says, “My dearest Angelica” with a comma after ‘dearest.’ You’ve written “my dearest, Angelica.”

The breath between ‘dearest’ and ‘Angelica’ is so much more pronounced live and I really wish I could live in that moment for the rest of my life

I also really love how they both take the time to focus on this and show that it holds a lot of weight and meaning to each of them, and then after a pause Angelica says, “Anyway, all this to say...” completely moving on from the subject

14. Southern motherfucking democratic republicans

No need to even say more than that. Y’all already know.

Actually I lied. I didn’t remember a lot from the bootleg going into this because it had been a decent amount of time since I’d last watched the whole thing—usually if it pops up on YouTube again I just listen to the few songs I know will make me sob, the ones I really want to hear, and then I leave it alone. I think in my head I kind of wanted to save it until I could finally see it in person. Before seeing it live, I think I’d only watched the bootleg all the way through maybe two times. It just felt like something I needed to wait for. It was well worth it. Anyway, like I said, I didn’t remember much so I certainly didn’t remember the shot of Burr, Jefferson, and Madison all walking together across the stage with the spotlight on them as they sang this part. Power move.

15. King George pulling up a stool so he can watch everything unfold, see all the drama as it happens, and watch Hamilton destroy his own career

I lost it at this part. I knew that he does this, but seeing it in person just made it so much funnier. Again, I think it was mainly due to really being able to see his facial expressions there. Just the thought of King George sitting there as all of this is happening in the 1700s is so funny to me and it’s just.....god it’s good

16. King George throwing Reynolds pamphlets and dancing around Hamilton was just....top-tier comedy

17. Hamilton’s black suit

That velvety suede one. If you know you know

18. Eliza’s scream at the end of Stay Alive (Reprise)

This was one of the moments I couldn’t forget the first time I watched the bootleg. No matter what I’m doing or where I am, if I’ve been completely fine throughout the rest of the songs, this is the moment that gets me every time. It’s always guaranteed to make me start crying. Not only is it heart wrenching to hear her scream after Philip has just died, but to see her yank her hand away from Alex when he tries to comfort her is something that’s been with me ever since that first watch. I don’t think I’ll ever really forget it.

19. It’s Quiet Uptown

I knew I wouldn’t make it out of this without sobbing. I usually don’t make it through the OCR without crying, and seeing it in person is so much more painful. Alex pleading with Eliza, telling her he’d change everything if he could, telling Philip that he would love where they moved to. Seeing Alex grieving, and then to see Eliza come in and be completely stoic, refusing to even look in Alex’s direction. Also the fact that literally everyone looks weary and so incredibly run down—even Angelica in her narration looks like she’s been crying for weeks.

Can you imagine?

Alex turning one of Eliza’s phrases back on her—look at where we are, look at where we started—he knows he’ll never be able to make this all up to her but he still begs her to let him in and let him try to help her.

It speaks volumes that all records state that Hamilton was never the same after Philip died—a large portion of him died that day too. Can you imagine?

Eliza, do you like it uptown? It’s quiet uptown.

One of the parts that gets me every single time, without fail: Look around, look around, Eliza.

I started crying during the last song and didn’t stop through the entirety of this one, but one part that made the tears flow faster was Eliza’s gentle “It’s quiet uptown” and Alex’s breakdown as soon as she speaks for the first time.

There’s a part in the Hamilton companion book that Lin wrote where he describes something that happened to the company during rehearsals and every time I read it I cry and cry, so I’ll just leave you with it:

The power of “It’s Quiet Uptown” was intact from its first day: Actors cried while singing it, the production team cried while listening to it, Andy couldn’t bear to choreograph it, not with his daughter, Sofia, fighting cancer, and getting sick on the way to school, and the whole family hoping the next round of chemotherapy would work. ... On November 16, 2014, Oskar and Laurie Eustis’s beloved son, Jack, died. He was 16 years old. ... Oskar and Laurie were about to spend half a year or more in the world of a show that pivots on the loss of a child. ... Two weeks later, the full company assembled for the first sing-through of the show ... when Oskar and Laurie walked in. ... Hearing “It’s Quiet Uptown” for the first time since their unimaginable loss was bound to be wrenching. It was wrenching, for everyone. When the sing-through ended, we offered words of consolation that were heartfelt but inadequate before a grief larger than anyone could comprehend. There was one thing that the Hamilton company didn’t know that day. When Lin had learned of Jack’s death, he had sent an email to Oskar and Laurie expressing his deepest condolences. He also sent them the demo recording of “It’s Quiet Uptown.” “If art can help us grieve, can help us mourn, then lean on it,” he wrote. If they preferred to delete the song, he would understand.

Oskar and Laurie did lean on it. In the rehearsal studio that afternoon, nobody knew that “It’s Quiet Uptown” was the only song they had listened to in their first week of mourning. They had listened to it every day.

20. Best of Wives and Best of Women

This one gets me every time. I know I’ve said that about everything so far, but god....this one is so meaningful.

I can’t say anything that will be better than what Lin has already said about the song so I’ll leave you with the liner notes he wrote from the Hamilton companion book:

In the musical of my life after I’m long gone, my wife Vanessa is going to be the one who steps forward as the hero. Vanessa is not particularly fond of musicals—she only likes good ones. She is not effusive in her praise, or boastful. But when I looked up from that Chernow book and said, “I think this is a hip-hop musical,” she didn’t laugh, or roll her eyes. She just said, “That sounds cool.” And that was all I needed to get started. As I fell in love with the idea of a love triangle between Eliza, Alexander, and Angelica, she said, “Can you have Angelica rap? That would be cool.”

I am someone who is so averse to travel that I wrote a whole musical about not wanting to leave my block in Washington Heights. It was Vanessa who booked us trips and time away from New York. “You don’t get any writing done here because life keeps popping up.” Thanks to her, Hamilton was written in Mexico, Spain, Nevis, Sagaponack, St. Croix, Puerto Rico, The Dominican Republic—long trips where Vanessa would take me there and then leave me alone to write while she explored. She is my first audience, and she’s a tough audience, so I know if I impress her I’ve cleared the highest possible bar. She’ll come home from work and say, “Your king tune was stuck in my head all day—that’s probably a good sign.”

This started out as a note trying to explain how my wife really is the ‘best of wives and best of women,’ but I’m trying to get at something more important—this show simply doesn’t exist without Vanessa. It’s a love letter to her.

21. The World Was Wide Enough

There’s nothing I could say here that would accurately sum up this one, so I’ll simply put this:

Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints—it takes and it takes and it takes. History obliterates. In every picture it paints, it paints me and all my mistakes. When Alexander aimed at the sky, he may have been the first one to die, but I’m the one who paid for it. I survived, but I paid for it. Now I’m the villain in your history. I was too young and blind to see. I should’ve known. I should’ve known the world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me. The world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me.

One thing I’ll always remember: in the Hamilton documentary, Leslie Odom, Jr. is talking about Burr’s legacy, basically that he did all of these other things in his lifetime—a long war career, accomplished lawyer, worked with Hamilton on the first murder trial of the country, etc—but the one thing he’s most remembered for is being the man who shot Hamilton in a duel. Leslie talks about how much more Burr could’ve done if the duel hadn’t gone down the way it did, that it was a really sad moment in history, that Burr wasn’t a lonely man when he shot Hamilton. Burr had friends, a great job, so many things going for him, but still he chose to shoot Hamilton in that moment. Leslie goes on to say, “I think that our show is doing a really good job of...reminding us that....all of us are more than one thing.”

There’s another moment, from Lin’s episode of Drunk History, where he describes the duel and says, “And so, Burr’s the monster. And what’s ironic about that is Burr was never the monster. Burr was the cautious motherfucker who never let his opinion be known. And Hamilton was the reckless motherfucker who let his opinion be known about everything. And in the one moment where it counted most, Hamilton was cautious, and Burr was reckless. And that defined their legacies forever.”

22. There’s a moment that Lin took out that we don’t get to see, but I’m going to include it here anyway. Eliza, reading Hamilton’s last letter to her—the one he was writing when she begged him to “come back to bed, that would be enough.” Among his last words are these:

I need not tell you of the pangs I feel, from the idea of quitting you and exposing you to the anguish which I know you would feel. With my last idea; I shall cherish the sweet hope of meeting you in a better world. Adieu best of wives and best of Women. Ever yours

23. Eliza in the finale

As I said, I already love Eliza so much, but hearing this final song is something I’ll always think about.

Eliza lived fifty years beyond Hamilton’s death, something I can’t even begin to imagine doing. Of all the things Hamilton put her through, she still loved him in the end. In her own words—I am so tired, it is so long. I want to see Hamilton.

Again, during this I couldn’t help but remember the fact that we were in the very city where much of this musical takes place. All of these real events occurred in this city.

Hearing Eliza recount all she had done after Hamilton’s death is inspiring and exhausting and amazing, but the line that always got me and I knew would hit me even harder in New York City....

Oh. Can I show you what I’m proudest of? [The orphanage.] I establish the first private orphanage in New York City. [The orphanage.] I help to raise hundreds of children. I get to see them growing up. [The orphanage.] In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every time.

Not only does she establish this orphanage, but it still lives on today. Eliza’s orphanage lives on in the form of the Graham Windham organization, a fact that always blows me away. She established and served as director of the orphanage for 27 years—she dedicated a significant portion of her life to this work. And to know that we were in the city where she did this, where she got to see the Hamilton legacy growing before her very eyes in the form of these children—I lost it.

Oh, I can’t wait to see you again. It’s only a matter of time.

Two months have passed and I still can’t believe I was there, really seeing Hamilton the way it was intended to be seen. I’ll never forget it, and I hope someday I’ll get to do it again.

#finally I got around to typing all this out!!#sorry for the long post I just really had a lot to say!!!!!!#hamilton0825 #text #personal

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rapha-reads · 6 years

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Music Tag

Tagged by @wolfsnape, thanks so much ! :)

Rules : Put your Spotify (or Deezer or Youtube, or whatever playlist you got, ‘cause ya girl don’t have Spotify) on shuffle and list your favourite lyrics of the first 10 songs played and then tag 10 people.

1 - Bebe, Malo

Voy a volverme como el fuego Voy a quemar tu puño de acero Y del mora'o de mis mejillas Saldrá el valor pa cobrarme las heridas

2 - Marina and The Diamonds, Radioactive

In the night your heart is full and by the morning empty But baby I'm the one who left you, you're not the one who left me

3 - Panic! At The Disco, The Ballad Of Mona Lisa

He senses something, call it desperation Another dollar, another day And if she had the proper words to say, She would tell him But she'd have nothing left to sell him

4 - Boulevard Des Airs, Quiero Soñar

(Toute la chanson) (TOUT L’ALBUM) Il faudrait dire dans une chanson Que c'est du grand n'importe quoi Qu'on nous prend vraiment pour des cons Que c'est l'argent le nouveau roi Et que le seul rêve possible C'est quatre murs et puis un toit Il faut vraiment être docile Mais ça je le garde pour moi

5 - Icon For Hire, War

I can't keep you above water I can't drag your soul to shore Don't know how to fix a sinking ship Or win a losing war It's a heavy load to carry And I can't hold on much more On the surface it looks perfect Underneath it's just a perfect storm

6 - Kamelot, Center Of The Universe

I have a tale to be told won't you listen tonight Follow me into the core of the fountain of light Try to imagine that hope is our ship for the soul (Over the ocean the quest of your life lies ahead) Maybe together we'll find there's a place for us all (Follow the star in your mind, sail along sail along)

7 - Conchita Wurst, Rise Like A Phoenix

(Taking this opportunity to remind you all, Eurovision is almost upon us and I always liveblog it ... Be warned) No one could have witnessed What you did to me Cause you wouldn't know me today And you have got to see To believe From the fading light I fly (Conchita is the QUEEN)

8 - John Farnham, You’re The Voice (Colin Morgan/Bradley James version)

This time, we know we all can stand together With the power to be powerful Believing we can make it better Ooooh We're all someone's daughter We're all someone's son How long can we look at each other Down the barrel of a gun?

9 - Stand High Patrol, The Big Tree

A tree without roots cannot live but a tree without new branches shall not grow There is a big tree in my garden a big tree in my garden in the winter it protect me from the snow in the summer it get to me some shadow in the spring he give to me some sweet fruits During the autumn on the branches all the leaves are gone

10 - Justin Hayward, Forever Autumn

I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky And one by one they disappear, I wish that I was flying with them Now you're not here. Like the sun through the trees you came to love me, Like a leaf on a breeze you blew away... (The whole song is so beautiful)

Tagging (if you want to !) : @devildears - @the-alexandrian-alchemist - @justkeeponthegrass - @tasha-lemon - @havocinthebluebox - @tinyrubywolf - @tinylilemrys - @nooowestayandgetcaught - @deanismysavior - @annie-thyme - And please do tag me back again, music is love !

#tumblr tag games #music tag #music is life #music is love #music is everything #wolfsnape

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sorenmarie87 · 6 years

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In The Middle Of The Ride characters

I forgot I had this but if you want to get to know some of my original babies - Here you go.

Name: Ryuichi A. Madison Age: 18 Height: 5’1’’ Parents: Mom (Elizabeth)- DJ Dad (Jack)- Animator Eye Color: Light Green Hair Color: D. Brown (Dyes it red)

Background: Before Ryuichi was born her mother (Elizabeth) was in college to become a prize-winning pianist but followed Jack to England. (She changed her major to become a DJ), overseas she became famous while Jack worked at his animation. Before having Ryuichi, Jack and Elizabeth were married on September 7th 1986. On July 31st 1987, Ryuichi was born and she meets Will for the time when he’s in the hospital visiting his father. When she was 3, they moved back to America (Jack had been offered a job working on his newest cartoon and they had requests for Elizabeth in nightclubs).

Name: Madeline (Maddie) Parker Age: 18 Height: 5’6’’ Parents: Mom- Chef Dad- Teacher (Geometry teacher) Eye Color: Hazel Hair Color: Red Loves: Writing, singing and dancing

Background: Moved from Louisiana and meet Cordy and Ryu in the 4th grade. She was born on a floating boat casino on May 8th, 1987. Maddie loves to write music and singing occasionally. She has an older sister named Isabelle and an older brother named Martin (Marty) She also has a younger sister, Leora, and another younger brother named Daniel.

Name: Cordelia (Cordy) Turner Age: 18 Height: 5’8’’ Parents: Lives w/ mom- College professor Eye Color: blue Hair Color: black hair Born on August 3rd, 1987

Background: Her parents separated when she was four years old and no one has seen her father since then. Cordy’s mom teaches at the elementary school for the fourth grade. Her, Maddie and Ryuichi have tried starting a band (hasn’t performed yet). Maddie writes, Ryuichi plays the guitar and Cordelia sings (although she tries very hard to get Ryuichi to sing)

Name: Lucille (Lucy) Taylor Age: 18 Height: 5’10’’ Parents: Mom (Leilani)- lawyer Dad (Luke)- Animator Eye Color: D. Brown Hair Color: D. Brown

Born on April 1st, 1986

Lucy is the type of person who acts and talks tough, but is really a great person to be around. Lucy is very protective of her family (Lucas and Ryuichi def.) Lucas and Lucy are only a few hours apart, but Lucas is the older sibling. (Fraternal twins) Has some anger issues, and when her dad finds out she's dating someone named Lindsey, he assumes that his daughter is a lesbian... but she isn't.

Name: Alice Wonderly Age: 17 Height: 5’3’’ Parents: Mom- Nurse Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Born on October 13th, 1988

Background: Alice was born in the country. She was born on Oct. 13, 1988. Was friends with Ryuichi and Erin when they were in elementary/middle school.

(She's the kind of person that if there's someone her friend doesn't like, she doesn't like that person either. Goes with the crowd basically. Although she considers Ryuichi a very good friend.)

Very kind and considerate, she is very protective of her friends & family. Alice is an only child and lives at home with her mom. Others consider her bad luck, but she is very lucky actually.

Very quiet

Name: Erin Ophelia Mackenzie Age: 17 Height: 5’5’’ Parents: Mom - Lawyer Dad - Doctor Eye Color: amber with flecks of honey Hair Color: red (short) Born on September 15th, 1987

Background: Erin was actually Ryuichi's first best friend. They met for the first time in the 2nd grade. Her birthday is on Sept. 15, 1987. Over time, she drifted from her friends and became very interested in other things (I.E. sports and whatever else) She stopped talking to Ryuichi because a major argument they had. To get back at Ryu (because Erin always has to get her way) she has to bully her in some way.

-Interested in Will only because she finds Ryuichi's reaction amusing

Name: Hilda Roberts "Quatre" Age: 23 Height: 5’6’’ Eye color: Aqua blue Hair color: Blonde

Background: Lindsey’s older sister who married the owner of a clothing shop. She met her husband Wolfram in college while she was studying theatrics; she’s good at improv, which explains the toaster. She was working with the fashion students on a production her class was putting on; they were introduced and instantly were attracted. Anita and Pilot like Hilda, mainly because they feared their son was gay, but are happy with his choice.

Name: Charlie White Age: 22 Height: 5'7'' Parents: mom- works at a library, dad- works at an advertising agency Hair Color: Brown w/ red highlights eye color: Blue

Background: Charlie was born on Dec. 31, 1985 in a small town. She has one younger sister named Remy who is 12. Her parents are married, and she hopes for the same kind of relationship. Met and started dating Dominic in his freshman year (her junior year) So she has gotten used to him dressing in girl's clothes from time to time.

Works at a coffee shop on her college campus and still lives in town. Is unsure if she should go see Dominic or not. (Her feelings for him never changed.) Working on a degree in early childhood.

Name: Will Sparrow Age: 18 Height: 6’2’’ Parents: lives with grandparents Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Black -Born on February 12th, 1986

Background: Will was born on Feb. 12, 1986 in a small province of England. He is the middle child out of three younger sisters (Yasmin-3, Aiden-11, Rhiannon-15) and two older brothers (Caden-21, Benjamin-28) When he was three years old his father was in the hospital for an extended amount of time. The night he met Ryuichi's mom, he was on his way home from visiting his dad. His grandparents offered to take care of him until his dad got better. He used to play and visit with Ryuichi until the day she moved to America (He never forgot the promise they made when they were little...) His grandparents moved to America a few months later, and Will's mom sent him to live with them. He was home tutored until 15, then he was sent to a high school near them and for his junior year, they moved him to LHS. His other siblings still live in London with his parents.

Name: Jamie Starr Age: 18 Height: 5’11’’ Parents: None. Lives with older sister and her husband. Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Brown

Background: He was born March 30th 1988 in New York City. His parents died in a car accident three years ago. Jamie's sister took him in after the accident. They just recently moved to the area where Jamie met Ryuichi and her friends. Jamie's sister and her husband own a popular coffee shop/bakery in town. Jamie loves to write. He also loves sweets.

Name: Mark Renart Age: 24 Height: 6’2 Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Blonde

Background: He is the newest addition to Lasiter High School. He teaches honors and AP English for the juniors and seniors. He lives in an apartment near the school. Mark usually isn't into dating anyone younger, but clearly he makes an exception for one of the students...

Name: Lindsey Houst Age: 18 Height: 6’4’’ Parents: Mom & Dad own a restaurant Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Sandy Blonde -Born on November 29th, 1986

-Moved from Australia when he was 10 and his parents own a restaurant called “Sheila's”

Name: Lucas Taylor Age: 18 Height: 6’1’’ Parents: Lives at home occasionally stays with Elizabeth & Jack Eye Color: D. Brown Hair Color: D. Brown -Born on April 1st, 1986 -He is Ryuichi’s cousin and Lucy’s brother.

Name: Gavin Smith Age: 18 Height: 5’11’ Parents: Mom - writer Dad-owns his own business Eye Color: Hazel Hair Color: Brown

Background: Born on March 11th, 1986 but no one actually knows how his eyes got to be orange, but a lot of people don’t believe he wears contacts. Gavin’s family moved from place to place before settling into his home in the city. His older sister is named Samira, his younger brothers are Samuel, Brody, and Tommy, and his younger sister is Joanne. He went to middle school with Cordy, Maddie, and Ryuichi.

Name: Dominic Hayden Howard Age: 18 Height: 6’0’’ Parents: Lives with his sister (Penny) and her girlfriend (Cassidy) -parents are in Ireland Ashton- Penny's son Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Red -Born on January 3rd, 1986

Background: Dominic’s parents first met when they were on a trip to Ireland and moved to the U.S. after Penny was born. He was born on Jan. 3, 1986. Transferred from different schools due to bullying and harassment issues from other students, and has only been in an all-boys school once. The last school he was in was where he met Charlie. After 2 yrs of dating, Charlie broke up with him and he moved again. He spent a year trying to make other friends but it didn't succeed. On his first day of school at Lasiter High, many people were shocked to find he was a boy, and not a girl. Lives with his sister Penny, her girlfriend Cassidy and their son Ashton. They take vacations with their mom and dad but this year he declined.

Name: Sebestyen Erikson Age: 28 Height: 6’ Parents: both therapists Eye color: Left- blue, right- green Hair color: faded Green

Background: With both of his parents being therapists, Sebestyen’s childhood was very messed up. His family originated from Germany where his parents met at school. They moved from various areas of Europe before moving to America. Although he was teased in school, he refused to go to any psychiatrists or therapist, so he resorted to storytelling so he could tell half-truths to everyone around him. Knows Hilda, Penny and Cassidy from middle school but hasn’t seen them in forever. Works at the high school as a janitor and as a greeter for stores when it’s Christmas time. Sebestyen is easy to get along with; he just needs some getting used to.

Name: Wolfram Roberts Age: 29 Height: 6’2” Parents: Anita and Pilot Roberts Eye color: Unknown, he where’s contacts with a different color every day. (NOTE: Not even Quatre knows!) Hair color: Platinum Blonde

Background: He is married to Hilda, Lindsey’s sister. He owns a clothing shop and sells his own clothing from his own line of clothes rightfully called “Ambiguous”. The gang frequently refers to him as Lindsey’s “Ambiguously gay brother in-law”. His parents Anita and Pilot are rich business owners, along with Wolfram’s brother Zeb and his sisters Manon and Mem, or otherwise considered by Wolfram seeing as he is the youngest, “The Triplets”. It is thought that the multitude of tea parties and dress up games Manon and Mem forced him into caused the resulted Ambiguously gay Wolfram.

#In The Middle of The Ride #characters

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vogelfreyh · 6 years

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Aargh, I forgot to send this, sorry! For Inutai and Tallis: 13, 20, 21, 26, 38, 48

Heheh no problem! Thank you so much :D

Tallis

3) Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

Tallis is heterosexual.

20) Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

Definitely. Tallis always had trouble and discussions with her parents due to many things - her rude behaviour, her looks and her disrespect towards many people. Tallis always wished to live somewhere else or alone.When she got married to Elder Quatre, she also hated it in the beginning. But she got used to it over the time being and as she started liking, later loving him.Now she’s happy where she is.

21) Best Friend(s)?

Her best friends are Goal, the prime controller’s daughter and Ravvy, a laid-back Elysian with red dreadlocks.

Goal and Tallis became friends in school, where they were known as the biggest troublemakers. They both didn’t want to blend in with the typical Elysian society and therefore felt a strong connection to eachother.

Tallis met Ravvy after she was thrown out of school. Just like her, he’s a lazy good-for-nothin’ who spends most of his time in the Fun or Chill-out zone. He has always been a bad influence on Tallis and has gotten her into many questionable situations. They mostly got drunk or high together and Tallis even lost her virginity to him while both were drunk as a skunk. However, he actually is a good person under his sloppy look and he’s always there for Tallis whenever she needs someone.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

Well, she had a big discussion with Ravvy after she got married with Quatre and started getting along with him. Ravvy told her that she was becoming boring since she had gotten married and the two parted ways.However, they get together after some time, since none of them wanted to lose the other forever.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

Oh yes, many times. Tallis was the one who was pulling other girls hair, stole their toys and threw them over the railing. She scuffled with the boys and left many of them with a black eye.

48) What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Whenever Tallis gets stressed or upset she allows herself to have a nice massage in the Chill-Out Zone.When she gets angry she mostly starts baking cake.

Inutai

3) Romantic/Sexual Orientation?

Inutai prefers men. However, she doesn’t really connects ‚love‘ to a gender. So if there was a woman who could bring up feelings in her she wouldn’t mind.

20) Do they wish they lived in a different family/household?

No, she never wished to live in another family. Even though the beginning time in the new Werak was hard, Inutai found her family there. Aratak, whose partner she became and his sister Ourea, one of her best and most important friends.

21) Best Friend(s)?

When Inutai awoke from her injuries, the first person she saw was Ourea, the other Werak’s shaman aspirant who took care of her wounds. It was inevitable for the two to become good friends over the time being.Both took care for eachother and understood eachother in a very special way. Inutai had a hard time becoming part of the new Werak, while Ourea struggled with her shaman trial. They always supported eachother physically and mentally.Another important friend is Enna, a young shaman who later becomes the lead shaman of Inutai’s short time Werak. She even gives up on her position later on, to join the Werak with Aratak’s to support him, Inutai and Ourea in the battle at Thunder’s Drum.And - of course - even though Aratak is more Inutai’s partner he is also a friend. He was before they became a couple and was always one to try to understand Inutai when she was new in his Werak. That was also the reason for Inutai feeling connected to him against all odds.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one?

Inutai lost Enna, her shaman and good friend, during the Red Raids as the two were fighting of Carja soldiers.Enna protected Inutai from a strike and was injured severely. Inutai couldn’t save her and she died in her arms.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school?

Inutai never went to some kind of school, so no.

48) What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset?

Well, she mostly goes for a walk through the deep snow. Or she climbs up to a mountain and enjoys the cold breeze and the colors of the sky.

#deponia #tallis #deponia oc #elder quatre #inutai #horizon zero dawn #horizon zero dawn oc #ask

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whatisvignesh-blog · 6 years

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The Film(s) That Changed My Life

“Which film changed your life?” This is a question in every film enthusiast’s arsenal. Rajeev Masand has an entire playlist on YouTube dedicated to just this one question. Some highlights from those videos include Anurag Kashyap citing Vittorio De Sica’s ‘Bicycle Thieves’ and an outrageous number of other actors and filmmakers professing their love for Martin Scorsese’s ‘Raging Bull’.

As somebody who loves a touch of the excess, I’d have to say there isn’t one, nor two films, but four films in my case.

To structure it sensibly, I’d like to use the Myth of Sisyphus as the intellectual scaffolding upon which I shall build my answer to this question. Existence is suffering and the only way to look at the bright side of things is to, paraphrasing Flaubert, lose oneself in the perpetual orgy of cinema.

My Sisyphean allegory kicks off with the boulder rolling downhill with Martin Scorsese’s ‘Goodfellas’.

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My tenth-grade results were delayed by three to four months and it was during this period, I made a weird decision to watch one gangster/mobster film a day until my results were out. The Godfather Trilogy, Scarface, The Departed, The Untouchables, Casino, Reservoir Dogs, Lock, Stock and Two Smokin’ Barrels, Carlito’s Way, Donnie Brasco and many others; one such film a day for four months.

Among the plethora of these mob classics, Goodfellas really stood out to me. It was a pivotal moment in my life. From the opening scene to the panache in the first sentence the narrator, Henry Hill, utters (“From as far back as I could remember I always wanted to be a gangster) followed by the rambunctious title track by Tony Bennett, I was hooked. I knew I was in the presence of something timeless, a classic. Through the pace of the story and the lives of its characters, I discovered that life can be expressed for everyone to watch and learn from one another's lives.

Rolling the boulder back uphill, there is Christopher Nolan’s ‘Inception’.

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This to me, personally, is the greatest film ever made. The depth in the characters, the Borgesian narrative, the bending of reality, Hans Zimmer’s score, Guy Hendrix Dyas’ Production Design, Christopher Nolan’s direction, story, screenplay, and dialogue made it a film school in itself for me.

I must’ve watched this film close to fifty times as of today and each time I watch it, I learn, notice or discover something new in the world of its story or about the film itself.

As a kid, I used to use high falutin words like abcderie in my homework essays as well as everyday conversation. However, when I watched the film, Saito’s dialogue, “Do you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?” made a remarkable impression on me as an aspiring writer. The sheer simplicity of the choice of words as well as the profundity in its depth, made me reassess my whole style and modus operandi of writing.

It was inspirational. The film left me wondering whether I had the courage in me to imagine anything in such gargantuan scope and ambition. Also, it didn’t disrespect me as a viewer. It challenged me to use my brain cells and connect the dots, follow the story. Needless to say, I began to understand how steep an uphill climb it might be, but also how exhilarating it would be simultaneously.

The second time the boulder went rolling down was when I watched Martin Scorsese’s ‘Taxi Driver’.

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I love Marty Scorsese. Everybody loves Marty Scorsese. But this film... My God!

Taxi Driver was the latest film to be added to this list, but its addition is a testament to all things I love about life- courage, sacrifice, vision, and genius. I watched Taxi Driver for the first time in 2013 but I didn’t understand shit, to be honest. I just thought “Well, the film sounds interesting.” That was obviously a reference to Bernard Hermann’s magnificent score. However, when I caught the film in the wee hours of a February morning in 2017, I was transfixed. de Niro’s performance, Paul Schrader’s magnificent script and Martin Scorsese’s direction (as well as his cameo) combined with Bernard Hermann’s score made Travis Bickle and his life appeal to a part of my secret self. I also loved it for the fact that this was the film that made me grasp the idea that film was an extraordinary medium to express the depth, poignancy and the pace of life, choices and time.

I saw motifs, themes, colors, arcs, effects all concocted to give the viewer a seamless experience.

Taxi Driver to me is like the iPhone of cinema- no one part was greater than the other, each part was wonderfully crafted, well thought out and efficiently executed. The film was a thorough exercise in character, clarity, discomfort, as well as the Balzacesque use of a city as a character, really appealed to my literary sensitivities.

The final film in this list made me believe that it's actually worth striving to push the boulder all the way up only to watch it roll back down ad infinitum. It's Francois Truffaut’s ‘Le Quatre Cents Coups’ or ‘The 400 Blows’.

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This was where the origins of the Nouvelle Vague, Truffaut’s own journey to reshaping modern cinema and the importance of establishing the relativeness of a protagonist within the structure of the story hit me in full swing.

I related to Antoine’s plight and loved the theme of freedom, joy, and childhood screaming throughout the film. Watching this film was an intensely personal experience for me and if you, like me, have a younger sibling, play them The 400 Blows. I’d guarantee they’d relate to it as well as enjoy it.

In summation, here is the final list.

1. Goodfellas 2. Inception 3. Taxi Driver 4. The 400 Blows

These films made a massive impact on me. While some of you might say, “Hey! I see a Scorsese bias.” or “Hey! How come you haven’t mentioned any Indian films?”, to that, I say, “Too bad.”

On a deeper note the Sisyphean allegory accounts for Time, an element rarely addressed in its fullest glory within the context of this question. I believe the films that touch the real part of you have the power to freak you out through its sheer artistry, rolling that boulder downhill or give you the courage to push, strive, and rise to perform the climb uphill.

Time runs forever and so will films. Biography or the past isn’t destiny. Sisyphus was condemned to push this boulder for all of eternity. The films of the future will also account for the Sisyphean shift. The key bit is to stay open to this idea. Time and your Secret Self will take care of the rest.

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