#Randomthots

[randomthotsxjay]

wtf.

it's my first post.

let's do this blogging again, shall we?

just like the blog's name. this shit is all random. I post how I feel at the moment; good, bad, ugly...whatevs.

anyway. work sucks.

& how tf California won another Powerball jackpot? these last two, three times were also someone from California. this shit is so rigged. bitch, share the damn wealth.

did I mention that work, indeed, sucks? ok. I just had to make sure that we're on the same page.

not sure why I decided to have a career in retails. I used to like my job. then I tolerated it. now, I'm just looking for a way out. but I don't have a way out. no jobs here pay as much as I get paid rn doing what I do (and I'm pretty fuckin' fantastic at it, actually).

I *could* drive to the city and get a job there...but tbh, no jobs there pays as much as I get paid where im at either. almost all of the entry level job in the city pays an average of $18-20/hr. I get more than that plus I don't have to fight the traffic going to the city. granted, the shithole I'm at has one of the worst fucking traffic in the got damn state. the infrastructure here is so damn bad, you'd think an unborn baby designed it... and that's an insult to an unborn baby.

life's hard. get over it. yada yada yada. shut the hell up.

I'm allowed to vent about this shit once in awhile. if you know me, you'd know I don't complain about shit. i just mind my business.

where are we? oh yeah, we're at me complaining about life. lol

anyway, tomorrow's Friday. I just have to thug it out tomorrow then I'll have Saturday off. whew. first Saturday off in ages. Idr the last time I even had a Saturday off and that's sad cuz I write my own schedule. which brings back to the part where I said, "I don't complain about shit."

when life gives you lemons, make a fucking margarita!

bye.

[holdingthewind]

Begin Again

Disclaimer: this was written on December 31,2019, but posting this as a reminder to myself. Venturing a year is difficult. No one leaves it unscathed. Some are lucky, with bruises and scars; others must have tasted the Styx, and flown away with their corpses, to a land unknown. How abhorrent, I know, yet beauty resides in the metamorphosis. The journey is akin to wading through waves of a plethora of green, the stench of pines, and gelid breaths—all to reach its peak and bathe in the blue scenery for a few. Then, like magic, one proceeds to make his home for the year out of it. As it ends, so does your stay, and onward you go to the next forest, to the next hill, to next peak, to the next home. And instantaneously, the present turns to ruins. The journey then begins, again. For the past years, I always opted to make these grand and commanding dwellings, fitted for balls and lovers to come by, shifting with each moon to a new guest. In retrospect, “imbecile” would be too merciful of a calling for me back then. How quick was I to squeeze myself into every space? I always felt this need to cuddle in between places where I am unwelcomed. It’s all my doing, I know this. Nonetheless, it always left me exhausted by the end of the year. Specifically, tired and alone, for they leave so sudden. Nary a fuck, a “thanks”, even a simple nod would suffice, yet it seems they resided here, in me, to fill a blank moment. And to that, I say “fuck that shit”.  Looking back at all the homes I’ve built, they were all too big, not for the flurries of men that came, but for me. If anything, this venture has taught me that the world is ruthless enough for me to be baring my throbbing and supple home for more arrows to be aimed at it. That strangers sometimes remain as such, to much despair. For too long I have wasted and emptied the woods, just for a home for blurry figures in my vision. No more. To hell with vacancies and winding conversations! Too much have I bled. I barely see the seams that keep me in, all of it torn open. I find it opportune, for me to sop the spill as quickly, as much as I can, at the end of this wild, wild year. No worries for recurrence, I plan to keep it all in this time. I, with all of it, resting by the warm hearth in my little cottage, though small, sturdier. Just perfect for my diminutive stature. With more air for me to breathe, more food for me to ingest, more time for my body to explore the love I have for it. Maybe a room for a guest, a friend, a lover? But nothing more than a room. How peaceful it will be, how happy I will be. I can’t fucking wait! I’ll learn to live once more. Take all the moments for me to learn how to breathe, how to stand, how to fly. This time, sans the boisterous hands that beckon me to stray off a nail. Fuck them. I owe this to myself.How much pain have I already endured? How cruel have I been? I always known this, but never to what extent. I always come back crying, blaming myself for the knives thrown at me. Maybe so, but it was also they who held the hilt, I simply stood for an easier aim. Despite such atrocities, I’ve grown into something stronger because of it. I’ve carried giants, angels, the world, on my shoulders. Though I shuddered, I remained, and to remain I shall continue to do. I wish I knew a painless route, I’m sure there is, but for now, I’m glad I was able to make it through. Now, I am unbound.    This time last year, the heavens cried, and I longed to break free from my rusted clamps; which compel me to build such glowing, yet demanding, homes, all alone, and sad. Now even a single dew is absent, and finally I am free!  No longer am I decaying within iron, and oh what I plan to do with this much awaited liberation. I enter the decade, with a guy I like, with a new sense of worth, and a new blueprint towards bliss. I come forward once again with hope, now with vigor. And finally, after all the hills climbed, I am ready, to begin again.    

[randomthotsblog-blog]

Random Thots Disney March Madness Bracket

Finally filled out my March Madness bracket. What do you think? What’s yours look like? Reblog or comment with your completed bracket, someone will be chosen at random, and a song from their winning movie will be recorded! 

[scribb1edthots]

You left me alone with a stranded mind You left me scarred with marks on my soul You left me void with vacant feelings You left me broken with a shattered heart But I was still living with a breathing body Shattered but still had the shards Scarred but still had my identity Stark, but still had my dignity intact Stranded mind, but still was accompanied by my loved ones I was no damsel in distress, My marked soul was healing My lost mind was fighting My vacant feelings were being valued My broken heart was mending.

~N.

[notyoavg-bytch]

THOTS: And when we stand together... there is no enemy. 

SMOKEY FROM FRIDAY: And thats for the world Craig!

THOTS: SMH... When will we learn.

[ri77y]

Bin away for a bit but not forever

It’s like the first date when we together

Reminiscing the first kiss

U playing with your hair and the bracelet

Around your wrist

I knew from the look you gave me

U were the one I’d always be with

But what u prayed for

Ain’t always what u made for

Giving your all ain’t the same if

You ain’t getting cared for

Losing yourself in love

When it ain’t the same for

Them...so now you heartbroken

Cuz you weren’t careful

Always standing up for love

You sitting heartbroken and tearful

Ain’t no one happy when you’re in joy

But when u down you hear an earful

[bleufeenix]

C’est La Vie Shenanigans

What a week of discovery has it been man. It’s like that time you sat back, watched the world growing up & said to yourself that it would never happen to you....but wait a second, it actually does happen to you. There you are sitting in that corner going wtf just happened? Discoveries are fascinating things, self discovery in itself never ceases to be surprising. It’s sorta kinda like having a revelation or having an epiphany I guess. It leaves you spellbound and confused af, well, it also makes you question things to an insane extent. All I’m filled with these days are questions & anger...well residual emotions, I guess would be a better term. It’s tiresome, I feel the stress of events creep into my bones. No no it’s not Osteoporosis, but I can feel it in every cell and all the way through to my bones. But C’est la vie, what else are you going to do about it? You run with the tide to see where you’re gonna crash, gives you better perspective on what to do next. The going with the flow plan, let me tell you, is a real pain in the arse. Because, if you’re a rebel like me, oh man your patience is all tapped out and all you want to do is attack or jump into action. You want to do something versus sit and be patient. Patience isn’t your strong suit, well it definitely isn’t mine and having to sit out acting on my emotional responses has been extremely tiring and draining. 

[thedeenuh]

[excitingrbl]

the sun had me looking like a light bright. thank goodness for filters. Friday's are about to be my new favorite day because of 1/2 days at the workhouse. I'm working on my socializing, in between writing, and just breathing. it's easier when there are cool people to mingle with because I really don't like everybody. my titties are trying to break free but I don't wanna traumatize the kiddies in the pool or the friend's daughter. my armpit fur is chillin and my curls are poppin. #todayisagoodday #randomthots #4thofjulyweekend🇺🇸💥🇺🇸

[holdingthewind]

Dear Taurus

Dear Taurus,  It's almost 3AM here, and I can't help but remember. How we sifted through the streets declaring our presence in this world with laughter and ruthless ramblings on life. The night where the cashier in the languid 7- eleven actually believed I was legal enough to be buying alcohol (it was just T-ice so no biggie). The same night we skinned our traumas on the rooftop of a condominium, lamenting on what our lives could've been whilst chugging soju. I even recall spilling my drink on your sheets and the feeling of shame still lingers, along with other feelings I choose not to name. We made promises that night; one's we thought we'd keep or at least remember. Sadly, it's all I've been doing these days ---remembering. Thereafter, always after, reminiscing then dims into regret, which then unfurls into guilt and loathing. These memories I play, all with you as the star, are so heavy ,but one's I choose to bear. I'd rather remember and feel my bones break infinitesimally by each second than deny it ever existed.  For so long, you were my rock. I would like think I was yours for some time, a brief time. We can't deny how important we were to one another, or at least that's what we said back then. Our bond withstood the burdens of distance to some extent depending on the year. We met in grade school and labelled each other as a guest filling in a moment of our childhood. We then drifted for some years before tangling once more into a whole mess of a relationship. It took us many months to unravel that, but we eventually got to a place of sanity, of composure. But then you left and I felt the first taste of regret. It was bitter but manageable. For there were worse things to come.  Sans a trace nor a message, I felt I meant nothing but a blemish that you needed to hide during that time. This I always knew. But you suddenly returned, straddling admonition so casually. For a moment, what I knew as fact was then blurred by the hope of rekindling a dead friendship. We both were unaware that we would end up in the same exact spot, just with a more fitting end. But we did revive our friendship. It was easier, quicker, than imagined. After so many months of changing, we found respite, stability, in each other. We grounded each other amid the vicious waves of reality. It was nice. We were now honest, more genuine to each other. What once was a rough figure of an amiable bond s now a fleshed out form of comfort and belonging. Regardless of how it ended, it was nice to have each other as anchors. But only for so long.  It turned out our chains were stretched out too far as the days passed. It became too weighted for me to hold on , for there were scabs in my grip that needed healing. So did you. Our time spent together didn't heal those, but rather delayed the pain that it entailed. The first instance of our wounds reopening was messy, as it is with firsts. The mess we made was so severe, I could barely distinguish which pools of red were mine and which scarlet streaks were yours. We were appalled and the shock of the scene left us with ire.  With blood stained hands, we wrestled for some sanity from each other. We almost ended it there. We should have ended it there. But we fooled ourselves that it was an isolated incident of us crumbling simultaneously. So we sopped up the red stained tiles. And continued with our charade of longing. We never talked so vulnerably after that incident. I guess for fear of making a mess again. Fitting, since I feel that room had endured enough of our pointed ramblings.  For the months that followed, the void that once consumed us didn't feel quite more than forthcoming. It was easily filled in with something else--- a gentler, kinder way of the truth: we replaced one another. Just like that, the distance that once begotten sanity , is now just a lifeless reminder of that sanctuary. It's crazy how fast things, and its even more absurd how we have little control of it once it sets sail.  I have many regrets to how things ended. Of not keeping tabs. Of simply pushing you aside. You're still a name that brushes off my breath with concerted effort. I wish things didn't have to end this way, because i still care about you more than anyone. But I guess its kind of pointless at this point. All that's left for us to do is to hopefully clean up the mess we made -- this time for good.  But as much shit we caused, there were surely moments in our tainted past worth clinging unto. Hopefully it help us get through shit, to reach a better place with better people.  Hoping from a distance,  Kin

[thetealoveshow]

#RandomThots 😉

[ri77y]

There's always pain when you hold those you love close, just like the pain you feel from thorns when you hold a rose.

Everything beautiful is complicated.

But who says if it ain't perfect you won't make it?

[bleufeenix]

Value of Time - A mere observation

Exercise shows you how long 1 minute truly is, whereas, Exams show you how short & quick 1 minute is. 

Now that, has my mind boggled in so many different ways.

[rickyricardod-blog]

A youtube kind of night #TuesdayNights #wonderland #thecalmbeforethestorm #RandomThots

[xllxxrbxg]

holding myself accountable for being a hot bitch with retail therapy addiction

hello idek i just need to push myself to write something here. anyways it been hard to do anything productive lately. i badly want to see my friends in naga. especially jence is now staying in naga. maybe soon i can have the time and opportunity to go back to naga for a while and see friends and stuff! HEHE omfg i really want to see them because i want to hang out and somehow catch up w theeem i dont want to over think it and it wont go the exact way i want it i know but like!!!! HNGGG i just want to be freeeee and have friends. apparently i really dont vibe with people i meet here in legazpi. they have a different set of values from mine and making pilit na maging jam friends with people like them wont just make anythign good happen. might end up disastrous or shit. anyways gusto ko lang ng friends and shit because nakakapungot na bestie puros ako online firneds kaya nadadrive ako to being addicted to devices para manlimos ng attention from friends to compensate for the lack thereof hahahahahhaha omfg ang galeng. also putangina ang init?

okay update i kinda got an updated closet. most of my shit are now maninipis na stuff like spaghetti straps and the likes. tapos mga halter tops ganean. ALSO! diba i read my old entries dito.. MERON NA AKONG COMBAT BOOTS, MGA HAMPASLUPA! HAHAHAAHA ANG GALENG KO kaso... wala nang laman gcash ko huhu

so eto randomthot lilista ko things i need and i want to do:

1. shop at shopfreakyfriday for the ff: -thigh belt -corset body shaper - heart leather choker - fishnet gloves - badass leather gloves - fishnet stockings 2. shop at the fake tatt shop for the ff: - small dragonfly or butterfly tatts for the collar bone part - tatts for the sleeves

3. Pay your insurance !! 4. Pay your internet !! (paid na yung May kaya ang next billing naman is for June kaso pag dumating na bayaran na kaagad para guds) 5. Load GCash para may pambayad bills. BILLS HA HINDI DAMIT TANGINAMO GAB DAMI MO NANG GASTOS NGAYONG MONTH! Mga Gastos na Naaalala ko: a. Utang ni deo AHAHHAHA (590) b. Binili kong bustier dress, boddyhugging top, skull skirt, + shipping fee (465) c. Binili kong tatlong damit sa clothingsph kasali shipping ang maganda lang naman yung angel halter top (480) d. Combat boots from jupiterspacemnl + shipping (1565) e. dehins ko na alm basta umuutang si daddy kaso pumapasok naman pera nya sa account ko so dehins ko alam mare lalo na nakay mommy yung atm card ko di ko alam current balance ko basta ang nagalaw ko palang naman sa pera ko yung wala HAHAHAH TANGINA SORRY EWAN icecredit ko na ba sa amount state ko sa taas sa scholarship ko? 12.5k lang naman eon e AHAHSdhaSdha omfg..,.,. ----------- TOTAL : 3100 dehins pa kasali yung iba kong tig gastos with real cash. lahat ean mostly gcash money. gegu pareh di pako nakakabayad sa insurance ko malapit na matapos grace period ko omgosh... ayoko man kulitin si deo ng utang nya at may ano sa ngipen hahsdakjhsdkjahjh tanginah 6. Gawin ang backlogs!!! HAHAHAH tangina gab nalista mo yong mgan asa taas na yan pero dehins mo nalista backlogs mo? eto: BACKLOGS! tapos na mga barkada mo sa backlogs nila iosen mo baccla bat ka nagpapahuli para kang loser : a. art app dance b. art app edit c. art app act d. art app finals e. nstp collage f. nstp accomplishment g. nstp narrative h. pe collage i. pe reggae j. pe chacha So ayon! kita mo yan baccla? iosen mo 10 naman na lang backlogs mo makaka do whatever you want ka na.

7. Submit CV application form pls sana tuloy pa yun para eme eme na aq here HAHAHA pero tangina kung may makita akong match from tinder/bumble. ewan kabugin nalang naten sila ng cboots naten, mareh! tangina naman nila mayon lang meron dito. hehe chourot labyu legazpi people *rolls eyes* charot ulet 8. Get iPhone repaired (4,000.00 nga lang HAHAHA kunin mo nalang baccla sa scholarfunds) 9. Exercise daily! Walang palya sana mars tangina 20 mins lang naman hinihingi sayo nkklk ka ang tamad beh anong loser behavior yan? Dehins tayo magkakabetter self kung dehins mo aalagan boddie mo. Need den yan para maka fish ki sugardaddy hehe.

10. Drink water everyday! Sana maka at lest 3-5 finished bottles a day ka. Partida kahati mo pa nean si chichi. Mas magaling pa si chichi uminom ng tubig sayo. Pag gindew tuloy hala labo labo tangina ano yan bhe? 11. Log in here in tumblr to monitor progress for all the shit

12. Follow the healthy steps!

13. Buy a FUTON!!!!!

14. Wallpaper-up the cabinets.

15. Place up again the LED lights

16. Buy at least one neon light display maybe rainbow/unicorn 17. Detox again! 18. Work on being a morning person. Only have one cheat night a week tho that could mess up your bod clock but u can make it work if u put your mind into it. 19. Morning person = do work in the morning ASAP, since u productive that way :)

20. Go home at naga look for the uwu jacket + makipaghang out with frands 21. Eat on time!!!!!! Pag tinawag kumain baccla, kumain ka haup 22. Ice Heat Exfoliation Skin care every week!!!

23. GET SLEEP BITCH! Tips for quality sleep:

Stick to a regular sleep/wake schedule.

Exercise. Try to get 20-30 minutes of exercise a day

Develop a nighttime routine that allows you to wind down. Engage in calming activities, such as reading, stretching, meditation, relaxation exercises, coloring, or journaling.

Limit blue light exposure and use amber glasses. The light from our phones, computers, tablets, and lightbulbs is what’s called blue light.

Have a fucking futon.... and get another pillow!!!

24. Fix POSTURE 25. Fix BLOAT 26. ean muna hehe hirap talaga tanginah charot stay more downstairs!!!!! para dehins tamarin and dehins mainit and scene

[chromaticallyaroused]

I feel like people give white ppl such a bad reputation on their abilities to cook. They season their food less so you can enjoy the actual flavors of each ingredient. Their concept is making the food item taste so good that it doesn't need a lot of seasoning.

@kblac022