#Rhysand's abuse

[nestaismommy]

Trigger warning

“What happened?” I got out, even though I wasn’t sure I truly wanted the answer. My memory was a dark blur of wild music.

Lucien drew back. “I don’t think you want to know.” I studied the few smudges on my waist, marks that looked like hands had held me.”

“I woke with vague shards of memories—of dancing between Rhysand’s legs”

“He had me dance until I was sick, and once I was done retching, told me to begin dancing again.”

“I spent my days sleeping off the faerie wine, dozing to escape the humiliation I endured.”

So, y’all telling me some people read this and thought “oh that’s hot.” “I’m gonna draw it.”

Really?

And then you call yourselves Feyre stans??

[bookishfeylin]

Now that I think about it, Rhysand's abusive and controlling treatment of Feyre's pregnancy actually makes even more sense as a character development for him given abuse often intensifies/begins when women are pregnant

[anne-et]

I just saw a post by @looseleaflettuce where your anon makes a super important comment:

It was only after I read this that I realized. Amarantha is a harassers (and a female portrayed as villain) Iantha is a harassers (and a female portrayed as villain).

Why are only women harassers but men (Rhysand and Cassian) aren't portrayed as such too?

Not only did Rhysand harass Feyre in the first book, he also drugged and manipulated her the entire time (and has clear signs of being Gaslighting).

Cassian I don't think I need to say anything. The guy is toxic as fuck, you can see it in ACOSF.

When women are not harassing, they are hypersexualized.

Morrigan, Nesta (my god all the time), even Feyre sometimes.

[littlefeltsparrow]

I think the way Sarah J Maas depicts Tamlin’s abusive traits are indicative of the simplistic understanding she has when it comes to depictions of abuse. Even when the text views Tamlin as irredeemable for his actions, it still strangely gives him an out by bringing magic into it. By having his magical outbursts be involuntary (and have little evidence to challenge that notion) she makes abuse seem like the accidental result of uncontrollable emotion as opposed to deliberate tactics of control.

This is why she can’t clock the irony of Rhysand presenting a compelling case of covert abuse, because she doesn’t have the imagination to consciously write an emotionally abusive or controlling dynamic.

[lainalit]

The girlies who say they had a relationship with a tamlin and their new relationship is with a rhysand, I hate to break it to you, but you have not broken the cycle of abuse; you just switched to an abuser with different tactics.

[thetwistedbeauty]

Daily reminder that we’ve only seen two evil people in the CoN. So why do so many people slander the people in Hewn city when we’ve only seen Kier and HEARD of Lord Thanatos…but Morrigan and everyone else in the Inner Circle hates them so we have to hate them as well? The same men and women who are continuously being abused but Rhysand can’t do anything because?? What is Rhysand the High Lord of? It’s not the Illryian war camps and it’s not Hewn city so it’s Velaris and he doesn’t tithe people from Velaris but how would he have money then? How much you wanna bet that the war camps and Hewn city pay those tithes because they’re apparently so evil and deserve to suffer and Rhysand can’t do anything to help the men and women because well we don’t know because JUST KNOW it’s for a good reason.

[litnerdwrites]

About the dancing chapter...

I agree 100% with this comment by the amazing @deathbealady (no seriously, I didn't even realise how similar this situation was to Mor's) and I wanted to use it as a jumping off point to talk about Eris Vansera. To be clear though, I like fanon Eris and am currently undecided about canon Eris, for reasons I'll explain later.

For now, we can start with the IC asking Nesta to try and seduce Eris. I refuse to believe they weren't given this idea by Elain, either because she volunteered Nesta outright, or because she put the idea of using Nesta's artistic passions that, at this point, they know were effectively weaponised by her mother, to seduce an older male with the idea of marriage.

Either way, the fact that the IC knew what Nesta's mother had done, and decided to take advantage of it without ever asking what she thought of it, or what she might like, despite it being the same thing done to Mor when she was Nesta's age, if not younger. It's made especially worse given that Nesta likely feels unable say 'no' to the IC, because if she does, she'd likely be threatened with Elain being made to do it.

If that isn't bad enough, and I wouldn't be sure if it could get worse if I wasn't about to tell you why, then we can take a look at the age gap between Eris and Nesta. I've heard people argue that it's fine, since they're both consenting adults, but I think that the term 'adults' needs to be redefined. Humans are considered adults at the age of 18 or so, but only have a fully developed frontal love at 25. Meanwhile, fae are considered adults by the age of about 50 to 80 (with the latter being the age that a High Lord can be named such, but some people say it's 50). This has some pretty serious implications.

Starting with the fact that if females in Illyria and the CON are married off/wings clipped when they have their first period, which seems to be from around the same time human women have theirs, to 18 if they try to prevent it through medication, then they aren't adults themselves. They aren't even half way there in the (I don't want to say mild, best case, better or anything like that case because it's all messed up) cases where the woman is 18 or so. It also implies that a fae female's frontal lobe isn't developed until she's over fifty, since we don't have evidence to suggest the contrary.

Just because Nesta was almost 25 when she became fae doesn't make it alright either. Given that her aging must have slowed astronomically when she was turned, it's fair to assume it would have a huge impact on maturity and brain development. Which means the Archeron sister's in general might have serious gaps in the way their brains develop, especially Feyre, since she was resurrected and her body changed. It might even be slightly different for Nesta and Elain since they were killed, pulled apart and put back together in the cauldron.

Since it was the cauldron, there's a chance that their brains were also changed to be like fae, but either way, both possibilities and scenarios come back to the same answer: The Archeron Sisters are still mentally children, and will likely remain so for several decades longer, perhaps even longer than regular fae due to the unprecedented and irregular nature of their existence.

This brings me back to the subject of Nesta and Eris. He is a grown adult many centuries older than Nesta, with frontal lobe development and centuries of experience. Nesta is barely even half way to being an adult, while he is over 500. Moreover, the IC believe that Eris is a monster.

Now, I'm well aware that there's likely more to the issues between Eris and Mor than what we've seen. Between Eris's own words regarding 'circumstances' that he wouldn't explain, to the narrative going out of his way to show us good parts of him. Such as the way he moved to protect his mother at the HL meeting, and how he let his own father torture him but still protected the IC's secrets and took the unnecessary verbal abuse from Cassian. There's even the fact that Eris simply lets others believe him to be the villain, and let's Mor control the narrative for her own comfort, as opposed to spilling whatever happened, even if it would, somehow, absolve him.

Now, to be perfectly clear, there is little Eris could say that would absolve him, truly, of what happened. I acknowledge that he's a victim of his father, however that doesn't mean he can't also be Morrigan's abuser. And yes, even if he didn't touch her, neglect is abuse. Leaving her there for dead, regardless of the reasons, is a messed up thing to do. The categories of victim and abuser are not mutually exclusive.

The narrative wants us, as readers, to question Eri's actions and begin to wonder what happened between him and Lucien and Mor. It wants us to open up to the idea that Eris may not be as bad as he's made out to be, and that there's something more sinister happening, since it puts some level of suspicion on Lucien, Mor and Beron. However, just because that's the story we're being fed as readers, doesn't mean that the characters have the same perspective, or are living the same story, necessarily.

If you think about it, they have no reason to believe that Eris isn't a psycho who abuses woman and would slaughter his brothers to get to the crown. His comment about circumstances does read like an abuser trying to justify his actions with little effort, while giving no real reason, not that one would make up for what the IC believes he did. It's not a good enough reason to absolve him or make him seem like a good person.

He still hunted Feyre down, even though he had no reason to once she and Lucien made it to the Winter Court, and it, logically, would've caused more trouble for Beron if they were caught. Especially since a whole fire fight took place, and it would be easy for Kallias to connect that with autumn citizens, since he didn't know about Feyre's magic. If anything, hunting them at that point would've caused more problems and they'd be better off just telling Beron that Feyre and Lucien were there. A high lady, if Beron acknowledges the title or not, trespassing in foreign lands with a banished son would be enough to raise a fuss about.

He, also, has people who've known him for centuries, from Mor to Lucien (though the latter probably has more accurate info given his connections in various courts, and the fact it's unlikely Mor shared many words with him over 5 centuries) and the fact he's essentially blackmailing the Nc. This is more so an issue of his having certain pieces of information being a cause for the IC to fear what he may do with it, or what might be found out by their enemies if they use torture or a daemati.

I'm not saying, by any means, that I hate him. I think he's actually written better than Rhysand at this point, since unlike Rhysie playing hero, Eris knows he's a terrible person and low key owns it. Whether or not that's subject to change is dependant of SJM's writing in the future. There's a chance she may actually turn him into Rhys 2.0 by pretended he was a good guy all along.

However, regardless of his reasons, he has done so many atrocious things that the IC have no reason to think he's a descent person. Mor clearly hasn't said anything about what happened and, as much as I don't like her, she has no on page motive to antagonise Eris otherwise. That might change later, especially if she's the traitor, but as of now, her behaviour seems understandable, somewhat, based on the version of events that she gives.

Yet, despite all of this, the IC still think that essentially whoring Nesta out to Eris because it suits their goals. Regardless of the risks to Nesta's safety, regardless of how Nesta feels about the matter and and simply going off of Feyre's guesses about how Nesta feels without ever feeling the need to confirm if any of them are accurate to Nesta.

Let me summarise: Rhysand and Feyre, Nesta's own sister, thought it was a good idea to use Nesta's artistic passions to seduce a man that is literally 20 times Nesta's age, letting said man ask for Nesta's hand, and letting Nesta consider accepting despite the IC believing he is a woman torturing psycho that would throw her to the wolves at the first chance if it helped him in the end.

Let's not forget that while Eris may be bit of a grey area for us at the moment, the IC knows that Eris also lives with abusers, like Beron, who'd have no issue using physical violence against Nesta. So even if they thought Eris wasn't a monster for some reason, they'd still be putting Nesta in danger. Especially if Beron is working with the Death God, who wants the trove and is using Bryallin to find it.

Oh, and this was all after Cassian came to the conclusion that Nesta was suicidal, and was sexually assaulted in a vision, if I remember right, while on a life threatening mission in a place the rest of the IC, even Amren, is scared of.

Regardless of what Rhysand says, he allows abusers near enough to his family, or the ones he doesn't care as much about, I suppose, and is seemingly willing to let them marry said abusers if it gets him his goal. Rhysand who was abused. Rhysand who's mother was forced into child marriage.

Rhysand who seems to ignore the fact that the Archeron sisters are children. Children can't consent, if it wasn't clear enough to him already. Also, consent must be informed, and last I checked, Nesta wasn't informed about Eris beyond him being a snake. She isn't given a heads up about how abusive he's believed to be, how he may have to kill/watch you die if his dad decides so, or how he's likely to leave you bleeding out in the woods if you're injured. This is literally what the IC believe he is like and they didn't tell her.

Consent needs to be voluntary. I think it's been well established that Nesta likely doesn't feel like she can make real decisions because of consequences she may face.

He's also completely willing to send a suicidal (you can't argue that he doesn't know since Cassian reports everything to Rhysand, and kind of Feyre, apparently, from her Valkyries to her progress in 'healing'/being brainwashed so there's no reason he wouldn't report that too) into life threatening situations, put them in a place where they could jump to their deaths at any moment, with magic that could provide literally anything but alcohol, and filled with weapons.

To conclude, Eris is a grey area in ACOTAR that, at this point, reads as what Rhysand kind of should've been if SJM didn't make him a good guy for no reason. Meanwhile, this 'good guy' is endangering his sister in law through abuse, emotional blackmail and brainwashing, while putting her in proximity with a known abuser. Might I remind you that she's a minor? With possible developmental gaps. And he's doing it all because her being in danger makes his life easier, and the cousin that the dude abused is going along with this without any issue.

[thatpurpledudetrey]

nesta literally telling feyre that shes going to fucking died from the babe in an unpleasant way is literally just an argumental point for rhys stans to use to cover up the fact he LITERALLY hide a medical information from feyre?!?!?!? bro HE was the on who started this shit not fucking nesta????

it was rhysand's fault, he started this shit by being a stupid bitch who decided to not tell feyre

[shesalittlelost]

Fellas is it my duty to defend my garbage heap of a sister if she, who selfishly leeched off of me for years & now has a mansion because of me, gets called out for telling me to get out of that same house, poking my changed eating habits due to having turned and dismissing my trauma right after I tell her how I was tortured & almost killed?

[nestaismommy]

Hey, let’s read about how Feyre’s actions are her own and that she chose to drink the wine:

“Wine?” he said, offering me a goblet.

Alis’s first rule. I shook my head.

He smiled, and extended the goblet again. “Drink. You’ll need it.”

Drink, my mind echoed, and my fingers stirred, moving toward the goblet. No. No, Alis said not to drink the wine here—wine that was different from that joyous, freeing solstice wine. “No,” I said, and some faeries who were watching us from a safe distance chuckled.

“Drink,” he said, and my traitorous fingers latched onto the goblet.

So obviously it wasn’t Rhysand mind controlling her or anything, clearly Feyre is making her own choices even though she kept saying no!! Therefore, obviously Rhysand was kidding when he admitted he made her do all of it with tears running down his cheeks!!

“I made you dress like that so Amarantha wouldn’t suspect, and made you drink the wine so you would not remember the nightly horrors in that mountain.”

[bookishfeylin]

Was the tamlin and rhys are similar reblog about people who are saying Rhys groomed Feyre (due to their age difference) because then this will apply to Tamlin as well and... age gap in fantasy series shouldn't be made an issue at all because then pretty much everyone is a groomer or a pedophile. Rhys has other shitty traits but I don't like it when people bring the age up coz then Tamlin was older than her by centuries too, took her away from her home by the sole purpose of making her fall in love (although there were other older women who'd killed the wolves), and etc etc. Like yes discuss other toxic aspects of Rhys and feyre's relationship but I feel like age gap discussion can be used against feylin too so it's better to not touch that.

No none of my reblogs were about that but it bears repeating that my opinion here is that I PERSONALLY do not judge book 1 Feylin because they are a retelling of a fairytale that is… iffy at best and my stance on this blog is, if you ARE going to judge Feylin and talk about abuse and domestic violence fine—Because yeah a BATB retelling with fae is not gonna be perfectly healthy in any universe—BUT Feysand should be held to the same standards because they’re no better, especially given Sarah *WAS NOT* trying to promote Feylin as peak relationship healthiness™️ but merely as the fae BATB romance it is while Feysand *IS* promoted as peak relationship healthiness™️ despite not being healthy by any stretch of the imagination.

[fourteentrout]

I honestly think that the ACOTAR series and it's characters are more complicated than fans give it credit for. Like a lot of fantasy readers in the modern age of booktok and all that shit always seem to crave a morally gray character, but when a character is actually morally gray they sort of...don't acknowledge it?

Because pretty much every single character in that series except for the obvious villains (Amarantha, king of hybern) are morally gray. Including Tamlin.

He's a really interesting case because he has these abusive behaviors, this consistent like Giving Up where he just heeds to his anger and his powers, but his entire driving force is that he doesn't want to be like his cruel, murderous father. Like, his essential action as a character is in direct conflict with his base characteristics, like isn't that so interesting??? But he's always just chalked up to the abusive anger issues ex who doesn't deserve any more chances because he already gave so many up. Like...do people know that even if a character is a Bad Guy, like a real bad guy, not your charming, suave, comedic villain bad guy, but like a guy who's fucked up and broken and mean and sad, can still be a compelling, multi-dimensional character?

And Rhysand. He's a super interesting character because though his intentions all come from the same place of like striving for peace and unity and other virtuous shit like that, he's still willing to overwrite his OWN MORALS if it means working towards getting what he wants--remember when he left a head in Tamlin's garden? I had totally forgotten about that because he never really exhibited any behavior that matched that, but if we think about it it was pointing to this facet of his character where, at least a the start of the series, he was willing to do a lot of fucked up shit for the greater good.

Which is like the definition of a morally gray character. But when comparing the two, often he's just taken as The Better One who can do no wrong and like rose above his role in society and would Never Ever treat Feyre like an object...which...he kind of did? Obviously not to the same level as Tamlin, or in the same way, but like for a lot of the beginning of ACoMaF he was pretty much Also using her as a piece in his personal war effort that he like didn't really fully inform her about for like...kind of a while.

Idk I know I'm rambling, sorry this is so long, but like I could make an entire other post about how FEYRE is ALSO super morally gray and like a lot of the point of her character is that she's like kinda fucked up and does fucked up things and has a lot of healing to do and makes mistakes even when she's still in the active process of like getting better, like the whole essence of her is that she's Not perfect, not that people don't get that, just that it's interesting that people will uphold these characters, her and Rhysand and the whole inner circle, and praise them and love them unconditionally, but when it comes to characters like Tamlin, they are deemed undeserving of a second chance because the bad shit they did was a) done to the main character(s) and b) magnified much more than the protagonists misgivings. Idk it's super early, I'm just rambling, I'm sorry

[littlefeltsparrow]

There’s a problem with the way Sarah J Maas depicts physical abuse/intimidation in ACOTAR

The fact that Tamlin’s physical abuse of Feyre being communicated through a magical/emotional outburst is problematic in the sense that it undercuts the reason why abuse happens. Incorporating magical concepts into a portrayal of domestic violence muddles the issue at hand and makes the abuse an accidental consequence of involuntary magical impulses as opposed to a deliberate tactic of intimidation and control. This issue is exacerbated by the fact that Feyre too, experiences an uncontrollable magical/emotional outburst during the High Lords meeting due to Beron’s provocative remarks. To be clear, I don’t view Tamlin as detestable or as an irredeemable abuser, but the text very much does. What I want to comment on is the problematic framing of Tamlin’s actions that are meant to characterize him as an abusive partner to Feyre.

So, I’m going to compare and contrast a scene from ACOMAF with a scene from ACOWAR, both of which depict magical outbursts that are brought on by intense emotional stress or rage.

ACOMAF

Here, Feyre objects to Tamlin’s protective measures he had enacted earlier. She expresses how suffocated she feels and how she wishes that she had the breathing room to cope with her new reality and that Tamlin’s actions are making her suffer. Furthermore, Feyre introduces her doubt in their engagement and expresses her reservations. Tamlin then goes blank, reacting explosively with his power blowing the room into splinters.

This is a good first step towards characterizing Tamlin as an abusive partner (despite the leaps it took to get there) But, where it goes wrong is the emphasis the text puts on Tamlin's blank expression and subsequent magical response. He loses control momentarily, but the issue about this portrayal is that abuse is not "losing control" or accidental, it is a conscious decision made by the abuser. But here, Maas makes it seem as though Tamlin really was not in control, that the heightened emotions made him react that way.

It gives Tamlin an out and consequently undercuts the message Maas is trying to communicate. Bringing magic into the scene takes away Tamlin's agency and removes a portion of his culpability in harming Feyre.

This scene should not have been Tamlin simply losing control of his temper, if Maas wanted to enhance her abuse narrative, she should have taken Tamlin’s temper and had him weaponize it. Intimidation is a possibility, one that would work towards making Feyre feel scared about voicing ver true feelings on their relationship. But Maas doesn’t go all the way, she doesn’t lean into that interpretation and instead plays it straight.

This is also undercut by Tamlin's second magical outburst in ACOWAR. Feyre intentionally provoking him does nothing for Maas's abuse narrative and actively undermines it by strengthening the idea that Tamlin's destructive outbursts really were caused by overwhelming emotions. Once again, it gives Tamlin a way out and dilutes the message.

The notion of an involuntary magical outburst is applied again in ACOWAR

Beron’s inflammatory remarks provoke an immediate reaction from Feyre, she goes blank so to speak, and can no longer focus due to the intensity of her emotions. This manifests in a fiery outburst that throws the meeting into disarray and injures the Lady of Autumn accidentally.

She’s so angry that she can’t think straight or logically, and it manifests in an attack. Though this isn't exactly the same, Feyre's "blinding fury" is so powerful that it cannot be restrained and ends up harming an innocent party. This moment strengthens the case for magic manifesting strong emotions as external attacks, characterizing it to some extent as involuntary.

Ultimately, the magical element removes the agency of the individuals in question. It frames their violence not as a conscious act designed to inspire fear, but as a genuinely accidental reaction to intense emotions. This is why the "Tamlin is an evil abuser" narrative is so weak. Because it dilutes the severity of the violence and makes it seem as though these kinds of emotional outbursts are an element of possessing magical powers. It gestures at a larger issue of Maas picking and choosing when and where she wants to apply real-world standards to her characters' morality. It makes events less believable and hypocritical, making allowances for certain characters, but condemning others without adequate narrative set-up.

This is why Maas is fundamentally incapable of recognizing the abusive dynamic she constructs with Feysand. It is a combination of double standards, authorial bias and a misunderstanding of how abuse manifests.

[lainalit]

artists: darklina: missescara_23 | feysand: alexandrabrlm_art

[foxcort]

thinking about wasted rhysand potential and how feyre deserves so much better after that last post

like, imagine a rhysand that worked behind amarantha's back, a rhysand that fights tooth and nail for the illyrians, who knows when to rein in his anger when confronted with keir and who works in the shadows with azriel to save the other dreamers in CoN. imagine a rhysand that uplifts mor, who stands by her side and prohibits keir and eris from being in her presence because he knows how it would make her feel, alliances be damned. imagine a rhysand that regrets the tattoo deal, regrets that his relationship with feyre started in a forced way and for that same reason feels guilty when he realizes she's his mate (and i mean genuinely guilty, not guilty but he apologized so its okay. like guilty so he refuses to accept it because he doesn't think he's worth her forgiveness). or a rhysand that refuses to dress feyre up in gossamer, or give her a drink he knows will lower her awareness, a rhysand that can control his jealously and anger enough not to inflict such trauma on a nineteen year old human girl. imagine he'd protected her UTM, shielded her from prying eyes and found every excuse to steer her out of amarantha's attention.

and like i get that he had to seem villainous at first because that's sjm's whole thing, but you can be a bad guy and not s*xually assault the love of your life at the same time. you can be morally grey and not force a nineteen year old girl into a binding permanent contract. someone made a good point in saying that the whole idea of a morally grey love interest is that they do questionable things to PROTECT their love interest, not TO their love interest. unfortunately rhysand is the latter.

[litnerdwrites]

So, about Morrigan...

We all know that Morrigan's life was spent with others lording power over her, her body and her autonomy. When she tried to regain power and control over her own fate and body by sleeping with Cassian, she wound up tortured and brutalised at the boarder of the Autumn court, while the first person to find her, Eris, left her there. I don't like Morrigan either, but nobody should have to go through something like that, least of all at the hands of their own parents.

However, we see later in ACOFAS, that Mor's father still holds a lot of power over her.

The fact her father still holds this kind of power over her is a problem to her. So what does she do? Instead of working harder to overcome her trauma, talking about it, trying to face her fears, or doing anything else productive, she decides to become just as bad.

Mor lords power over Nesta, knowing Feyre and Cassian would chose their and their court over Nesta in a heart beat. Instead of empowering Feyre by encouraging her to hash things out with Nesta and take the first step to rebuilding that relationship, or telling Cassian not to disrespect Nesta's boundaries (the way males constantly disrespected her own boundaries), Mor decides to go on a power trip, by helping to isolate Nesta.

She constantly insults Nesta at every opportunity, getting off on the power she holds over her, despite the trauma and pain Nesta's gone through. During her first dinner with them, Nesta refuses their (unreasonable) request (felt more like a demand imo) to share her story at the HL meeting, and leaves the room before strangers who, best case scenario, don't give a shit about her, or worst case scenario, despise her, can peer pressure her into it.

It's been insinuated more than once that the IC doesn't know the whole truth about what transpired between Morrigan and Eris. Cassian, in silver flames, called Eris a 'good male' but also a 'coward' trapped by terrible circumstances (which is another topic I'd like to discuss later on), despite knowing what happened to Mor. It's becoming clear that one of them, or both of them, are lying about what happened. Which, personally, I think is fair, to some extent. Mor is under no obligation to share the truth in it's entirety with anybody if she doesn't want to.

(Although letting them believe a selective truth that paints Eris as a villain and letting her family insult him if that's not the case is so fucked up of her to do, and yet so on brand).

However, one would think that, because of this, Morrigan, of all characters, would understand not wanting to talk about your traumas, much less in front of an audience. Especially given the prejudices between humans & fae, Beron's general disposition, and the NC being disliked by most of the other courts, it seems obvious Nesta wouldn't want to talk to them at all, much less share something so deeply traumatising.

Instead, she passes Feyre a bottle of wine, as if she's the one being the most inconvenienced by Nesta's trauma and her response to it. She does the same in ACOSF, deciding that Nesta should be trapped in the CON while taking immense pleasure in the torture Nesta's going through. She even gloats about it to Nesta when coming to see Nesta being humiliated in Illyria.

Mor has suffered immensely, but as I mentioned in my previous post, trauma is an explanation for cruel behaviour, not an excuse. Much like Nesta, while Mor's actions may, to some extent, be explained by trauma, it doesn't excuse them. It should open a door to empathy and understanding.

Perhap's Nesta's human values, being somewhat similar to the values of the CON, may contribute to Mor associating her with her father. Or perhaps she wanted to feel powerful by protecting Feyre from horrible family the way she wished someone had protected her. Perhaps, in taking away Feyre's agency and power over her own forgiveness and relationship with her sisters, Mor was able to feel powerful. It's possible she see's Keir in her, which may be why Mor feels Nesta would 'thrive' in the CON.

Instead of stepping into her own power by facing her abusers, she faces other victims, takes power away from her own friends, and lords it over other victims. She takes power and agency from her friends, and for all she tells Feyre to stay out of the situation between Elain and Lucien, she continually inserts herself into the situation between Nesta and Feyre.

Mor used to hold power over Cassian and Azriel by using Cassian as a buffer between Az and her, knowing they both would do whatever she asked, pretty much. Now, she now lords power over Nesta and actively helps to isolate her, while also flaunting her relationships with Feyre and Cassian in order to hurt Nesta, knowing that Cassian and Feyre would let it happen without a care in the world. (I mean, what else do you call that scene at solstice where Mor and Cassian happily exchanged lingerie in front of her, while Feyre herself didn't even get Nesta a gift, after forcing her to come to solstice against her will).

TLDR: Mor's on a power trip because she unfairly associates Nesta with her father for no reason and uses it as an excuse to be almost as bad as Kier to Nesta. The cycle of abuse at it's finest people.

(Also, does anyone else come to post, intending for it to be short and sweet, only to end up going on a long ass tangent and writing a whole essay? Cause I do that. IDK how to stop though😭)