Small Bracket Round 1
Small Bracket has passed the planning stage!
Should I have just put them through a random number generator and called it a day? Probably. But I didn't, so there
Blanket disclaimer that I don't know every nominee so a lot of this is based on research and I'm sorry if I got the vibes wrong
Full bracket under read-more
Rules over Hades/Robot Hell
Hades (Kid Icarus: Uprising)
Robot Devil (Futurama)
Fans hate him
Aechmea (Houseki no Kuni)
Ladd Russo (Baccano!)
Daniel (Camp Camp)
Extra knife-murder
Johnny C (Johnny the homicidal Maniac)
Alpha (Dollhouse)
Music Videos
The Evil Bald Guy from the Genghis Khan music video
(The Genghis Khan music video)
Dr. Carmilla (Dr. Carmilla and/or The Mechanisms)
Fight your shadow self!
Professor Venomous (OK K.O. Let’s Be Heroes)
Shadowy Figure (OK K.O. Let’s Be Heroes)
Friendly old women
Kanchenjunga Sarrektjaka (Alcatraz vs the Evil Librarians)
Lesley (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)
Pathetic soggy washcloth of a man
King Richard (Galavant)
Namakelder (Happiness Charge Precure)
Ghetsis (Pokémon (gen 5))
You vs the guy she told you not to worry about but the guy she told you not to worry about is you wearing lipstick
Lugnut (Transformers Animated)
Clobber (Transformers: Cyberverse)
The ones that I can only appreciate from a distance cause if I take 1 step closer I just say yikes and walk 5 more steps backwards
Dr. Boris Habit (Smile For Me)
Shaun Gomez (Smile tapes)
Am (I have no mouth and I must scream)
Yikes pt.2 but for entirely different reasons
Clay Puppington (Moral Orel)
Cruel Angel Clionel (The Battle Cats)
Mariko Kurama (Elfen Lied)
Traumatized girlbossses can commit a little murder as a treat
Ada Graceheart (Medieval Cop)
Helena G. Wells (Warehouse 13)
I am so sorry about this, I shouldn't make them fight but I thought it'd be really funny to have a person vs that same person inverted and with gold spooky eyes
"Then teach me how to knit" vs "knitting isn't as fun as murder"
Morgan Sterling (S and D tier)
Alex Stewart (S and D tier)
Lil psycho/Lil in love (... I lied, these losers are both head over freakin heels)
Beatrice (Bibi) (I Love Amy)
Claire Stanfield (Baccano!)
If you take away all context, and I mean ALL context, I genuinely think this is the same character.
Tigerstar (Warrior Cats)
Darkstalker (Wings of Fire)
Wet Dishrag Men pt.2
Simon Keyes (Ace Attorney)
Ogata Hyakunosuke (Golden Kamuy)
Ben Linus (Lost)
Girlbosses who deserve an entire kingdom to lie, broken, at their feet
Cassandra (Tangled the Series)
Charlie (Don’t Starve Together)
They're just pleasant- If it weren't for the atrocities
Izaya Orihara (Durarara!! and Durarara!! x2)
Thomas Jerome Newton (Fringe)
Yugi Tsukasa (Toilet Bound Hanako-San)
Fan-Favorites
Dottore (Genshin Impact)
Midori/Sou Hiyori (Your turn to die)
Alfred Bester (Babylon 5)
Just a little guy!
Invader Skoodge (Invader Zim)
Fawful (Mario and Luigi)
The Nome King (Oz)
The Butler did it ™
Shelly De Killer (Ace Attorney)
Argalia (Library of Ruina)
Just a little guy (clown edition)
Jevil (Deltarune)
Dimentio (Super Paper Mario!)
The freakin theater mask aesthetic (Yes one of them is a sentient theater mask)
SCP 035 (SCP)
Janus Sanders (Sanders sides)
The smitten™
Garcia Flynn (Timeless)
Joshua Kiryu (The World ends with you)
The Camp Capitalists
GoodtimeswithScar (Third Life SMP + Hermitcraft)
O’Malley (Red vs Blue)
Did someone say lizardmen?
Toffee (Star vs. the Forces of Evil)
Elim Garak (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)
The Ace Attorney games said prosecuting lawyer should be evil dramatic and 100% committed to the aesthetic
Manfred von Karma (Ace Attorney)
Barok van Zieks (The Great Ace Attorney)
He's Horrible (❤️ ω ❤️)
Isaac “Felix” Gates (Red vs Blue)
Marcus Cutter (Wolf359)
Warren Kepler (Wolf359)
Bill Cipher Wannabes + bird doctor (aka: I was bound to have one miscellaneous category, actually I have 7 >:3)
Bob (Voltron)
Samuel White (Kill Count (Webcomic))
SCP 049 (SCP)
Father went to Evil class but got distracted and became a theater kid. (Also, the trouble with twins)
General Tarquin (Order of the Stick)
L. D. Curtain (The Mysterious Benedict Society- specifically the TV Show)
Discovers things that shouldn't be real
Rafaam (Hearthstone/ World of Warcraft)
Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl)
The Camp Capitalists Tyrants
Lord Dominator (Wander Over Yonder)
The Monarch (Malcolm Fitzcarraldo) (The Venture Bros.)
Would be going against HAL but they'd be so crushed
XANA (Code Lyoko)
Rie Kishibe (Digimon Cyber Sleuth)
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Agnes Obel - Riverside
Lost Frequencies - Are You With Me
Route 94 - My Love ft. Jess Glynne
Sun.Set.Ships - Sinking Islands
Sivuca - Ain't No Sunshine
Chicane - Offshore
2CELLOS - Street Spirit (Radiohead)
PJ Harvey - The River
Bonobo - Kong
Leszek Możdżer - Africa
Carlos Santana - Samba Pa Ti
Lotte Kestner - Halo
Devlin - Watchtower (Instrumental)
RockSexton - I'll Be With You Again
The Verve - Sonnet
Serge Gainsbourg - Initials BB
ElevenHill - Room Of Ghosts
Richard Müller - Nespoznaný
Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry
Plan B - Love Goes Down
Duke Dumont - Ocean Drive
The Weeknd - Starboy ft. Daft Punk
Shura - White Light
Biffy Clyro - Re-arrange
R. City - Locked Away ft. Adam Levine
Richard Müller - Julia Roberts
Faithless - Drifting Away
Chicane - Saltwater
Eric Clapton - Change The World
Morgan James - Human
Mukatado & Janka Kozáková - Husičky
Keosz - Low Down
Whithe - Wolves Are Gone
Casi Cada Minuto - Lies & Goodbyes
Toni Braxton - Long As I Live
Seal - Crazy
Beck - Colors
Lisa Stansfield - Billionaire
Robin Schulz - Sun Goes Down ft. Jasmine Thompson
Camila Cabello - Havana
Tom Walker - Leave a Light On
Travis - 3 Miles High
Mark Ronson - Nothing Breaks Like a Heart
Worakls - Coeur de la Nuit
Dinelo - This Could Be True ft. PRYVT RYN
Dennis Lloyd - Nevermind
Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone (CamelPhat Remix)
Matt Simons - Catch & Release (Deepend Remix)
Mike Perry ft. SHY Martin - The Ocean
Kygo ft. Kodaline - Raging
call me Steve - HANDS UP
Coldplay - Talk
The Chainsmokers - Hope ft. Winona Oak
Billie Eilish - everything i wanted
Elbow - One Day Like This
Imagine Dragons - Nothing Left To Say
Arsy-Versy - PRESTAVUJEM SI KRAJINU
AJR - BANG!
Hooverphonic - Romantic
Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch
Bleeker - Give a Little Bit More (Disaster)
Refew - ZPRÁVY
Lamb - Gabriel
The XX - Intro (long version)
Martin Matys - David (Prod. Kenny Rough)
Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello - Señorita
Madcon - Glow
Melanie Fiona - Monday Morning
Coldplay - Orphans
Naughty Boy ft. Beyoncé, Arrow Benjamin - Runnin' (Lose It All)
TERI ČIKOŠ - DIEVČA
Jon Secada - Just Another Day
Tichá dohoda - Kde spí andělé
Passenger - Caravan (Kygo Remix)
Papyllon - WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT
Sophie B. Hawkins - Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover
Komajota - Iba
Aura - I Will Love You Monday
alt-J - Left Hand Free
CHVRCHES - Forever
Pet Shop Boys - Paninaro 95
The Lumineers - The Ballad Of Cleopatra
Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - I Need Never Get Old
Weezer - Africa (starring Weird Al Yankovic)
MS MR - Painted
Porter Robinson - Look at the Sky
Atlas Genius - Molecules
Suede - Stay Together
The Head and the Heart - All We Ever Knew
Dayglow - Can I Call You Tonight?
MUSE - Something Human
Adam Lambert - ROSES ft. Nile Rodgers
Arcade Fire - Everything Now
Seekers - I'll Never Find Another You
lovelytheband - broken
Daft Punk - Instant Crush ft. Julian Casablancas
DEAN LEWIS - Be Alright
Kristína Tran - Čo to dá
LINA MAYER - Stratená
LENNY - Hell.o (Fancy Cars Remix)
Anna K. - Co mi za to dáš
Anna K. - Volá tě noc (Live)
Aneta Langerová - Bílý Den
Smith & Myers - REBEL YELL
Malik Harris - Rockstars
Sia - Unstoppable
Sanchez Amsterdam - Motýle
Kristína - Navždy
Katie Melua - If You Were A Sailboat
Sam Ryder - Space Man
Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness - Cecilia And The Satellite
HAEVN - We Are (Symphonic Tales)
Komajota - 7 noci
Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (Western Film Score Version)
Röyksopp - Oh, Lover ft. Susanne Sundfør
Zuzana Mikulcová - Blind Tomorrow
Klaxons - Echoes
Bloc Party - This Modern Love
Interpol - Stella Was A Diver
it was the eLs - Hollow Coves Playlist
Depeche Mode - Ghosts Again
LUKA SULIC - LIVE at No Borders Music Festival
Duncan Laurence - Arcade
Doja Cat - Paint The Town Red
Requin Chagrin - Sémaphore
Marika Gombitová - Čo s láskou
Christine and the Queens - Full of Life
Sia - Elastic Heart ft. Shia LaBeouf & Maddie Ziegler
Martin Matys x Kenny Rough - Home Alone
REYKO - Spinning Over You
Interpol - Say Hello to the Angels
The Killers - All These Things That I've Done
0 notes
Police Informant Work (NSA, ArcticMUD)
Daniel Monahan, transferred from McDonald's, to industrial engineering.
Daniel Rodrigues, transferred from Israeli narcotraffic, to American Lodge protection.
Chris Dumais, right hand broken at thumb, to refuse Hebrew, instead pistol hand.
Carlin Sarkesian, refused shooting of Respite Center for developmentally disabled, Narcodan recipe taken from post-mortem corpse.
Greg Connolly, transferred from local poster work, to Code Orange, Philip J. Morris, Bombardier Lear.
Nicholas Maynard, transferred from mechanical engineering inventor's program, External Security, to fetish and nightclub, models.
Matthew Lennox, transferred from Hopkinton Sheriffs, to German New Line Cinema.
Allison Haimes, transferred from Cajun Accadian Korean, to Catholic North Korean mission program.
External Security pimping of marijuana arrested women as marriages, to overseas study program, MoveOn.
South Park Studios, transitioned from study of Jews as Cartman, to Romalians.
Jon Willis, given John Phillips Lodge of Boston, for Los Angeles Triads, as undercover police investigators.
Richard Passan, Arnold Lodge, given full disclosure of accounts, from identification of MI-6 betrayed and turned Provo; Irish support of War on Terror.
Ivan Tomasic, Russian Denmark, transitioned to Croat Irish, Yugoslav Catholic.
Justin Walsh, United States Marine Corps, given State Police housing and backing, as hunter of Joshua Golden.
Andrew Donson, assumed alias Joshua Golden, Jim Shooter, Sid Meier, and others, taken from cashier's status of drafted prostitute or priest, based on cashier's mechanical flaw, to reduction in staff to St. Cyr Mossad, Sharon Massachusetts; German Sheriff's fund, repealed.
Jeff Niemera, recruited as Officer of Essex County, through NSA access; data mining of corporate and local government breaches of systems, as medication access, for CVS repealed; resistance against Scientology, Scientology being Adolf Hitler's method of governance, for illiterate psychologists and doctors, the pharmacy major at a school.
Joshua Moen, ATF agent, contacted through Brian Monaghan; "nil", David Charlebois, resumes hacker's alias, alongside, "b-rock", and "null", for breach access to Bridgewater South Shore, illicit psychiatric programs for election rigs on Canadian intelligence social networking; Blizzard, View Askew, and Nick Gammon.
Melinda O'Deele, Grant Rotary Association, contacted through Obama Lodge, in operations in Plainville; cocaine traffic from Barack Obama's personal contacts, leads to break in social volunteer cases; individuals paid under state minimum, under law of waitresses, revealed as Unitarian; pedophiles, having refused Communion, as if marked ritual indicates actual profession of faith. Pedophiliac diagnosis, intended for middle schoolers, if exceptionally bright. Refusal of parents logic, noted, lack of job future marked in system of non-governmental organizations, through Church non-profits for their children and Church attendance.
William Morgan Jr., attends campus at SNHU, for returning degree; noted of several CIA lookalikes, actually Mossad Marines. SIS teams are reactivated, from 2004, and scrambled; NSA David Charlebois, FBI Lloyd Ahlquist, CIA Kara Williamson, NPC Shelley Gagnon, and IDF Daniel Monahan, scramble dozens of Freemasonic Temple stalkers, for Paul Revere Lodge, resulting in arrests and seizures of property, as having consorted with Britain and Israeli Likud elements.
Michael Charlebois, notes disparity in boycotts claimed Rabbinical, and Islamic elements of Republican Party, under Bush; interdiction, of transgender surgeries, attempted and failed, revealed to be ignorant parents under police rumor. Full Twitter disclosure of the Jewish origin of 9/11 given, as pork and ham boycott, against black culture, African-Americans preferring pork and veal and meat on Ramadan, to maintain health, interdicted by white supremacist authorities out of South.
0 notes
Incorrect Jonas Corbin quotes
Quotes that had to have been said in Jonas Corbin's Guide to Life, right? RIIIGHT!?
Jonas: *singing* I’ve got less than an hour and when this is ended, I’ll either be famous…
Principal Mazlish: *singing* …Or you'll be suspended!
(Source: A Goofy Movie)
Nate: Are you sure that's a wise decision?
Jonas: I never made a wise decision in my life, and never will.
(Source: Ace Attorney)
Jonas: Difficult-looking math books stand in a formidable row. They mock me. I tried reading one and it made my head hurt. When I closed it, it slipped out of my hand. Then my foot hurt too.
(Source: Ace Attorney)
Kiera: Chloe, did you eat my food again?
Chloe: Why, is there still some on my face?
Kiera: No.
Chloe: Then no.
(Source: American Dad!)
Mark: I’m gonna go check out the situation. And you guys can check out my ass as I walk away. I think you’ll be pleased.
(Source: American Dad!)
Thom (to Kyle): I hate you. I say that not out of anger, but simply as a fact. It’s 67 degrees outside and I hate you.
(Source: American Dad!)
Jessica: I may be blonde with great cans, but I'm pretty smart when I've had my eight hours.
(Source: American Dad!)
Connor (to Morgan): Please don't talk anymore, okay? It's only gonna upset me.
(Source: Anastasia)
Morgan: My brother? You?! What can *anybody* see in him?
Kiera: Look, will you help me or not?
Morgan: Fine. If you like basket cases, I'll help you get him!
(Source: Angel Sanctuary)
Nate: If you have ten cookies and someone takes half of them, what will they have?
Chloe: A broken hand.
(Source: Animaniacs)
Jonas: Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead.
(Source: Animaniacs)
Nick: You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Connor: I don’t like you ever.
(Source: Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Jared: I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!
(Source: Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Jonas: Lacrosse?!
Kiera: Yeah, it's Algonquin for…bloodsport?
Nate: It's not Algonquin for anything!
(Source: Archer)
Kiera: What's your blood type?
Adrian: How would I know?
Kiera: How would you not?
Adrian: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?
Kiera: You don't know your blood type, but you know who discovered them?
(Source: Archer)
Jonas: What did you draw?
Samantha: A stick.
Jonas: A stick?
Samantha: A stick from the park where you PROMISED TO TAKE ME TODAY!
(Source: Arthur)
Richard: Isn't it amazing what brothers and sisters learn from each other?
Samantha: I learn a lot from Jonas because he makes so many mistakes.
(Source: Arthur)
Kiera: Chloe cheating? It doesn't seem possible.
Jonas: Are you kidding? She copies off me all the time.
Kiera: Then how come she gets better grades than you?
(Source: Arthur)
Morgan: Connor, can I ask you a question?
Connor: Sure.
Morgan: What’s the matter with you?
(Source: Arthur)
Samantha: Maybe there’s a race for lonely children!
Jonas: That’s “only” children, Samantha. A lonely child is what you’re gonna be when I sell you.
(Source: Arthur)
Nate: Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card!
(Source: Arthur)
Nick: People think I can't write a poem, but they are so wrong. I CAN write a poem. I wrote this one, I wrote this poem, and I gave it the title "Nick's Poem". So shut up! The end.
(Source: Arthur)
Sarah: Morgan, are you gay?
Morgan: The correct term is lesbian! Uh, not that I'm a lesbian!!
(Source: Azumanga Daioh)
Chloe (mocking): Oh, you're amazing, Connor! I want to marry you so I can be Mark Urquhart.
Mark: I wouldn't take his name.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Jonas: You don’t want to mess with my half-sister. She’ll wear down your self-esteem over a period of years.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Alicia (looking at Kiera and Connor): They make a great couple, don't they?
Chloe: They certainly are standing next to each other.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Jonas: Brad, we tried things your way.
Brad: No, we didn't.
Jonas: I tried it in my head and it didn't work.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Kathleen: Believe me, Morgan. You don't want to end up like your brother. Without, you know, any friends.
Connor: Hey! I do have friends.
Kathleen: Nooo…
Morgan: Connor has friends. There's Mark…
Kathleen: …
Connor: …
Morgan: I shouldn't have made that sound like I was gonna have a list.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Mark: I'm being blackmailed.
Chloe: Blackmail? No one blackmails our brother but us!
Justin: Messing with Mark is a privilege, not a right!
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Morgan: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Chloe: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Morgan: You don’t have to wear it.
Chloe: No, I’m keeping it forever. Back off.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Alicia: So, what do you think of Connor? I'm pretty sure he's into you.
Morgan: Connor's my brother.
Alicia: Ohhh, I was wondering why you both said "Bye, Mom" to the same lady. Still, there's something there…
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Mark: So I'm guessing you two have worked things out?
Chloe (opening her door angrily): Mark, you’re going to have to choose- me or Justin? I lost one brother today, am I gonna lose another?
Mark: I won't take sides, I'm like a sexy Switzerland.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Chloe: Danger is my middle name. I spell it M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
Donna: Someday I hope you have a kid who puts you through what I’ve gone through.
Jonas: Yeah, Grandma says that’s what she used to tell you.
(Source: Calvin and Hobbes)
Brad: I've been thinking…
Jonas: On a weekend?
Brad: Well, it wasn't on purpose.
(Source: Calvin and Hobbes)
Jonas: Today for "Show and Tell", I have a souvenir from the afterlife! Yes, you heard right! Equally amazing is my own story of yesterday afternoon, when I actually died of boredom! I was doing my homework, when I suddenly collapsed! I felt myself rising, and could see my crumpled body on the floor. I drifted up in a shaft of light and entered the next world! Eventually, my heart started again and I came back to life… but not before bringing THIS back!
Teacher: A yo-yo?
Jonas: It was pretty boring THERE, too.
Teacher: Let's have a look at that homework.
(Source: Calvin and Hobbes)
Jonas: You can’t turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
Brad: And what mood is that?
Jonas: Last minute panic.
(Source: Calvin and Hobbes)
Jonas: The fact that Mark and Connor don't have girlfriends is one of the seven wonders of this school.
(Source: Cardcaptor Sakura)
Nate: What I want to know is, if the witch can fly, how come she needs to climb up Rapunzel's hair?
Jonas: Who brought you?
(Source: ChalkZone)
Nate: Nothing can beat science!
(Source: Chrono Trigger)
Brad: Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off, or do you consider that an honor?
Jonas: That's not…
Brad: Let me paint the picture. You're in your bedroom, you've got Kiera's Instagram up on your weird off-brand cell phone…
(Source: Dear Evan Hansen)
Morgan: Connor is a… complicated person.
Chloe: No, he's a bad person. There's a difference.
(Source: Dear Evan Hansen)
Jessica: I've been living a lie…
Lauren: You mean you’re not a natural blonde?
(Source: Digimon)
Connor: Sorry I'm late. I was supposed to get a haircut, but when I looked in the mirror, I realized my hair was already perfect.
Morgan: The only thing is, he was staring in the mirror for over an hour.
(Source: Digimon)
Mark: Don’t keep things bottled up inside! It’s not healthy!
Connor: Don’t tell me about not being healthy. I’ve been not healthy my whole life, so I’m an expert, and if I want to keep things bottled up, I will.
(Source: Digimon)
Alicia: I’m gonna sit here and stare at the flowers until everybody starts getting along!
(Source: Digimon)
Connor: I tried thinking positive once, and I was positive about one thing- I positively hated it!
(Source: Digimon)
Nate: In order to succeed, you have to work hard every single day!
Jonas: Wow, that sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed.
(Source: Dilbert)
Monica: Where's Samantha?
Jonas: What am I? Her keeper?
Monica: Yes.
Jonas: …Backyard.
(Source: Ed, Edd n Eddy)
Kiera: Chloe, I apologize for all the bad things I've said behind your back.
Chloe: And I apologize for the ones I said to your face.
(Source: Elena of Avalor)
Brad: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Jonas: Aha! Her eyes are gray!
Brad: Aha! Thank you for proving my point!
(Source: Family Guy)
Connor: You don't remember what it's like to be my age!
Morgan: I'm two years younger than you!
(Source: Family Guy)
Jonas: Hey Brad, can you listen to this song I wrote for Kiera and tell me what you think?
Brad: What's it called?
Jonas: "Kiera".
Brad (sarcastically): Wow, a song named after a girl. There aren't a million of those already.
Jonas: Name 20!
Brad: "Rosanna", "Roxanne", "Michelle", "Allison", "Sarah", "Angie", "Brandy", "Mandy", "Gloria", "Cecilia", "Maggie May", "Jessica", "Nancy", "Barbara Ann", "Billie Jean", "Layla", "Lola", "Polly", "Helena", "Jenny from the Block".
Jonas: …Name 6 more!
Brad: "Sherry", "Laura", "Wendy", "Maria", "Peggy Sue", "Minnie the Moocher".
Jonas: …Name 5 more.
Brad: "Tracy", "Jean", "Jane", "Mary Ann", "Eleanor Rigby".
Jonas: …
Jonas (storming out): Go fuck yourself!
(Source: Family Guy)
Mark: Do you know what the capital of this state is?
Nick: Um, New Hampshire City?
(Source: Family Guy)
Mark: If something happens to me, all the world's women will grieve!
(Source: Final Fantasy VI)
Nick: You're Thomas Anderson, aren't you?
Thom: Hey! Call me Thom, or I'll rip your lungs out!
(Source: Final Fantasy VI)
Connor: I have nothing to say.
Morgan: That's okay, it was probably depressing anyway.
(Source: Final Fantasy VII)
Jonas: It's noon-thirty! People are trying to sleep!
(Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)
Principal Mazlish (to Jonas): I dislike you with great intensity.
(Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)
Nick: No stupid little brother of mine is gonna tell me how stupid I am! 'Cause I know how stupid I-
Jared: *smiles*
Nick: …SHUT UP!
(Source: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)
Zane: It's Freshman-Free Day! It's Freshman-Free Day!
Jasmine: "Fair", Zane! Freshman FAIR!
(Source: FoxTrot)
Brad: Jonas, are you sure this isn't another one of your dumb hare-brained schemes?
Jonas: No, Brad, this is one of my smart hare-brained schemes!
(Source: Fraggle Rock)
Connor: You know, Mark, out of all the friends I’ve ever had…you’re the first.
(Source: Futurama)
Jonas: Hey, wait! I’m having one of those things- a headache with pictures!
Brad: An idea?
(Source: Futurama)
Connor: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That’s what I always say.
Mark: You should say something else.
(Source: Futurama)
Kiera: (is crying)
Jonas: If those aren’t tears of happiness, please stop crying. Do you need me to fight someone? 'Cause I’ll fight someone!
(Source: Futurama)
Brad: Are you sure this is a shortcut?
Jonas: Not as sure as I was an hour ago.
(Source: Futurama)
Chloe: When you were a kid, what was your biggest fantasy?
Kiera: To be loved by my parents.
Chloe: Whatever. The correct answer is to have super powers!
(Source: Futurama)
Chloe: What’s your favorite color?
Jonas: Kiera. Wait, what was the question?
(Source: Gravity Falls)
Thom: We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.
Kyle: You mean, like…what girls do?
(Source: Gravity Falls)
Nate: I scheduled some fun last month, but I had to cancel.
(Source: Hey Arnold!)
Kiera: Don't you feel better that you did the right thing?
Chloe: No, not really.
(Source: Hey Arnold!)
Jonas: Kiera. So moral. So compassionate. So giving. If only I were good and kind like that. But I’m not. So that’s that.
(Source: Hey Arnold!)
Morgan: *thinks she's dead* Well, that's it. I must be in heaven. Oh, no! Connor's here! This must be the other place!
(Source: Hey Arnold!)
Jonas: Would you just go to bed?
Samantha: It's 2:00 in the afternoon.
Jonas: What did I tell you about talking to me?
(Source: King of the Hill)
Morgan: Connor, you’re my brother, I’ve known you my whole life.
Connor: You don’t know me, I am unknowable.
(Source: King of the Hill)
Nick: Jared! Get out of the hot tub! We're stealing a news van!
Jared: It's the perfect crime! How will they ever report it?
(Source: King of the Hill)
Nate: You have to understand my position. I'm a coward and Principal Mazlish scares me.
Jonas: What kind of position is that?
Nate: No position! That's my point!
(Source: Labyrinth)
Nate: I didn’t get any studying done yesterday.
Jonas: I actually put in a lot of effort this time.
Brad: How much studying did you do?
Nate: Only four hours.
Jonas: A whole four hours!
(Source: Lucky Star)
Jonas: Me? Sad? No way! Sadness is for softies, and I'm one happy dude!
(Source: Monster Rancher)
Jared: There's a man at the door with a mustache.
Nick: Tell him I already have one.
(Source: Monty Python)
Jonas: I'm the main character!
Brad: I didn't vote for you.
(Source: Monty Python)
Chloe (to Kiera): You are pure pureness in its purest form. It's almost irritating.
(Source: Moral Orel)
Jonas, narrating: I was bearing the situation with my usual grace and poise, of course.
Jonas: Why? WHY do these things ALWAYS happen to ME!?
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Chloe: Now, what have we learned?
Alicia: Loss of control…
Chloe: Good.
Alicia: Screaming and hollering…
Chloe: Yes. And most importantly?
Alicia: Passion.
Chloe: Right. So now that you know all the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one!
Alicia: *breathes in; quietly* Yay.
Chloe: Ugh. You're going to cheer for me like that? Louder.
Alicia: *quietly* Yay.
Chloe: Louder!
Alicia: *quietly* Yay.
Chloe: LOUDER!!!
Alicia: *deep breath; quietly* Yay.
Chloe: Ugh.
Alicia: Too loud?
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Nate: I've prepared our things! There are snacks, books, blankets, books…
Jonas: You said books twice.
Nate: …There are a lot of books.
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Kiera: Adrian and I have always been close. He’s my BBBFF.
Everyone else: *confused stares*
Kiera: Big Brother Best Friend Forever?
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Nate: *walking into an argument between Jonas and Chloe* What's going on?
Jonas: Chloe thinks Alicia's a tree.
Chloe: I do not think she’s a tree! I was just—
Nate: Did you say she was a tree?
Chloe: No! Well, yes, but not exactly.
Nate: You know she’s not a tree, right?
Jonas: She’s not a tree, Chloe!
Alicia: *butting into the conversation* I’d like to be a tree.
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Chloe (to Morgan): I don’t really hate your brother. I just really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dislike him.
(Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
Chloe: Ah, yes, reading. That’s what they did before they invented fun.
Nate: I heard that!
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Jonas: See? One day you're gonna look back at this and laugh.
Chloe: I personally assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this, I will drive to your house and slap you.
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Brad: Only you can nerdify a great sport like baseball.
Nate: Brad, hitting a baseball involves the basic principles of velocity, force, and geometry.
Brad: You’re visualizing numbers in the air again aren’t you?
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Brad, looking over his contacts: Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas. Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas? Nate, Kiera, Chloe, Alicia, Jonas?! How can I only have 5 friends?! And one of them is Jonas!
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Kiera: Well, has Jonas been wrong before?
Brad: How wide are we willing to open this up?
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Chloe: What kind of fun can we have when it’s raining?
Alicia: We could talk about our feelings.
Chloe: Ok, I’ll rephrase it: What kind of fun can we have when it’s raining?
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Jonas: Well, this is a cartoon.
Nate: What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall?
(Source: Phineas and Ferb)
Nick: Prepare for trouble!
Jared: And make it double!
(Source: Pokémon)
Morgan: Stop running away!
Connor: Stop chasing me!
(Source: Pokémon)
Connor: There was something in my life that prevented me from having friends when I was a little boy.
Mark: It must have been your personality.
(Source: Pokémon)
Nate: Have you come up with code names?
Jonas: My name is Tom Ato.
Chloe: Well, my name is Anne Chovy.
Brad: And I'm Caesar Salad.
(Source: Pokémon)
Jonas: Don't rush me, Nate, I have to think!
Nate: Well, this is going to be a brand new experience for you!
(Source: Pokémon)
Brad: Rejected by the girl I loved! I'll never find another one like her again!
Jonas: Don't worry, Brad! You'll find plenty of other girls to reject you!
(Source: Pokémon)
Jonas: Can't you guys have a little confidence in me?
Brad: We have as little confidence in you as possible.
(Source: Pokémon)
Jonas: Whenever I'm around Kiera, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. Am I sick?
Nate: Hmm. Maybe you harbor an infatuation with her.
Jonas: Infatuation? Is that contagious?
(Source: Recess)
Morgan: [watching an old video of herself] Man, did you see that catch? That was in my prime!
Kiera: Morgan, that was 2 weeks ago.
(Source: Recess)
Principal Mazlish: The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
Jonas: But Principal Mazlish, you dragged me here!
(Source: Recess)
Alicia: So you see, if we’re not nice to Mother Nature, she’ll kick our butts.
(Source: Rocko's Modern Life)
Jonas: What do you think I am? An imbecile?
Brad: Wow, Jonas! And it only took you fifteen seconds!
(Source: Rugrats)
Kiera: *looking in a mirror* You look even prettier than you did yesterday!
Adrian: You look the same to me.
(Source: Rugrats)
Chloe: Do you always do what your parents tell you?
Kiera: Yes.
Chloe: Well, cut it out!
(Source: Rugrats)
Jonas (facing the camera): This is dangerous, kids, so don't try it at home!
Brad and Chloe: Like they could?!
(Source: Slayers)
Sarah: Morgan, if we walk in here holding hands, everyone's gonna think we're gay.
Morgan: Well, that's your problem.
(Source: South Park)
Connor: I don’t *want* to go, I won’t know anybody.
Robert: Well, it’ll be good for you to make new friends. You can’t just hang out with your buddy Mark all summer; people will think you guys are- you know- funny.
(Source: South Park)
Mark: Wow! Nick and Jared really hate us, Connor.
Connor: Yes, perhaps they're homophobic.
Mark: But we're not gay, Connor.
Connor: We're not?
(Source: South Park)
Morgan: I just… I really need the support of my best friend right now…
Sarah: Who’s your best friend?
Morgan: You are, Sarah! We’ve always been best friends! We know everything about each other!
Sarah: What’s my last name?
Morgan (walking away): Goddammit…
(Source: South Park)
Jonas (to the rest of the Core Six): You know, I've learned something today. Family isn't about whose blood you have, it's about who you care about. And that's why I feel like you guys are more than just friends. You're my family.
(Source: South Park)
Chloe: It's a vast, swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading, fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort, as you've never felt before!
Kiera: Wow, Chloe, that was beautiful!
Chloe: What? I was just reading this candy wrapper.
(Source: Spongebob Squarepants)
Chloe: Bye, Jonas! Bye, Kiera! Bye, Brad! Bye, Nate! Bye, Jonas!
Alicia: You said “bye, Jonas” twice.
Chloe (dreamily): I like Jonas.
(Source: Spongebob Squarepants)
Connor: Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. (storms off to his room)
Morgan: …Mediocre?
(Source: Spongebob Squarepants)
Chloe (to Alicia): I respect that you don't eat meat. Please respect that I don't eat fake meat.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Brad: Winning isn't everything.
Chloe: It's just the only thing that matters.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Morgan: Would it kill you to smile?
Connor: *with a visibly forced smile* Maybe.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Jonas: I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I’m dumb enough to try anything.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Jonas: So we really are friends?
Chloe: Yes.
Jonas: And you really think I’m funny?
Chloe: Don’t push it.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Connor: I’m not creepy. I’m just different.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Chloe: Let’s go out and get buffalo wings! Do you like buffalo wings?
Kiera: More than life itself.
(Source: Teen Titans)
Morgan: How's my favorite sibling this bright and beautiful day?
Connor: Shut up.
(Source: The Angry Beavers)
Jonas, narrating: That's when it hit me. The best idea I ever had in my entire life!
Brad: That's the worst idea you ever had in your entire life.
(Source: The Boondocks)
Justin: How come you get to be in charge?
Mark: Because I’m the oldest.
Justin: Yeah? Well, you’re also the gayest. So I think I should be in charge.
(Source: The Boondocks)
Morgan: I love Connor, almost like a brother.
(Source: The Boondocks)
Jonas: It was my idea.
Nate: No, it was my idea!
Jonas: Well, it was my idea to take your idea!
(Source: The Fairly Oddparents)
Nate: Who’s the brains of this outfit?
Jonas: Uh…
Nate: My point exactly.
(Source: The Lion King)
Connor: Mark, Mark, I'm only looking out for the well-being of my best friend.
Mark: Yeah, right, I'm your only friend.
Connor: All the more reason for me to be protective.
(Source: The Lion King)
Jonas: I’m sorry, guys. You believed in me and I let you down.
Brad: Come on, Jonas. We never believed in you.
(Source: The Oblongs)
Chloe: *about Connor* Don't fall for him, Kiera. That boy is scum.
Kiera: Then call me Mrs. Scum.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Jonas: There's three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Jonas Corbin way.
Brad: Isn't that the wrong way?
Jonas: Yeah, but faster.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Valerie: You'll never get a husband by being sarcastic.
Chloe: All right, no husband.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Principal Mazlish: I'm surprised at you, Jonas. Surely you knew as you were writing your name in forty-foot high letters on the field that you would be caught.
Jonas: Maybe it was one of the other Jonases.
Principal Mazlish: There ARE no other Jonases!
Jonas: Whoops.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Mark: They're cooking kids in our school cafeteria!
Valerie: Listen, kids. You're fifteen and seventeen years old now. I can't be fighting all your battles for you.
Chloe: But, mom-
Valerie: No "buts". You march right back to that school, look them in the eye, and say "don't eat me".
(Source: The Simpsons)
Peter: Sometimes, I forget how young you are.
Colin: I'm only a year younger than you.
Peter: Oh look, you're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice.
Colin: Well, my straw broke off in the carton- that's not the point!
(Source: The Simpsons)
Connor: What's your mom got against me?
Mark: She says you're a bad influence.
Connor: Bad influence, my ass! How many times have I told you not to listen to your mother?!
(Source: The Simpsons)
Adrian: Kiera, I'm going out. If I don't come back, I want you to avenge my death.
Kiera: Alright!
(Source: The Simpsons)
Connor: I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.
Mark: No, Connor.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Teacher: Connor, what exactly are you rebelling against?
Connor: What have you got?
(Source: The Simpsons)
Mark: I am the perfectly capable and responsible big brother of the group.
Chloe: Can Justin and I have a can of frosting for dinner?
Mark: Sure.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Mark: I feel like I'm going to die.
Connor: We're all gonna die, Mark.
Mark: I meant soon.
Connor: So did I.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Connor: Inside every person is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved.
Also Connor: ♫ I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! I am Evil Connor! ♪
(Source: The Simpsons)
Jonas: I'm not a nerd, I'm a jock who's too cool for sports.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Lauren: Mom, am I a butch or a femme?
Allie: Honey, you can be anything you wanna be.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Chloe: Mark eats like a pig.
Justin: I don't know… pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck.
(Source: The Simpsons)
*At one of Morgan's jazz choir concerts*
Mark: Hey, Connor, keep an eye out for the guy with the peanuts.
Connor: There's no guy with peanuts, Mark.
(Source: The Simpsons)
Newscaster: We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement.
Jonas: It must be really important for them to interrupt a video game!
(Source: Tiny Toon Adventures)
Connor: I’m 17 years old and I’ve already wasted my entire life.
(Source: Undertale)
Jared: Nick! Pick up your sock!
Nick: Okay. (picks up the sock and puts it back down)
Jared: Don't put it back down! Move it!
Nick: Okay. (moves it two inches)
Jared: You moved it two inches! Move it to your room!
Nick: Okay.
Jared: And don't bring it back!
Nick: Okay.
Jared: It's still here!
Nick: Didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room?
Jared: Forget it!
(Source: Undertale)
Connor (to Jonas): You're funny, but keep it up and you'll piss me off.
(Source: Xenogears)
*Peter and Colin get into a fight*
Zane: Come on, you guys. There’s no reason to fight over this.
Sarah: Maybe we should stay out of it. I think this is their bizarre way of showing each other they care.
Zane: Oh, okay… I just hope they don’t care about ME that much.
(Source: Yu-Gi-Oh!)
---
Mark: You know the friendship's real when there are rumors that you're gay dating.
Connor: "Friendship" my ass.
(Source: Tumblr)
Connor: Anyway, sorry for being mean and gay. Sike!
(Source: Tumblr)
Nate: You're living. You occupy space. And you have mass. You know what that means? You matter.
Jonas: That's the most inspirational pun I've ever heard.
(Source: Tumblr)
Kiera: I kinda have a crush, but I’m a little embarrassed to tell you.
Chloe: C’mon Kiera, you know I’m not gonna judge. Just rip that bandaid off.
Kiera: It's Connor Urquhart.
Chloe: You put that bandaid back on. You put that bandaid back on and you let that wound fester.
(Source: Tumblr)
Jonas: Good morning, mother figure.
Donna: Good morning, problem child.
(Source: Tumblr)
Jessica: It's a truth universally acknowledged that I’m 100% that bitch.
(Source: Tumblr)
Nate: 'Knowledge' is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; 'wisdom' is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Jonas: That was deep.
Chloe: ‘Philosophy' is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.
Jonas: That was deeper.
Brad: 'Common sense' is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie, you nasties.
(Source: Tumblr)
Kiera: Michelangelo painted this.
Chloe: I'm not stupid, Kiera. I know the Ninja Turtles aren't real.
(Source: Tumblr)
Chloe: Small creatures are way more vicious. It’s because there’s less room to contain their anger.
Nate: That’s ridiculous. Name one example of this.
Kiera: Wasps.
Brad: Spiders.
Chloe: Terriers.
Jonas: Samantha.
(Source: Tumblr)
Connor: My gender is “pretty boy”.
(Source: Tumblr)
Jonas: We played Scrabble. It was a nightmare.
Brad: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Jonas: Not when you're playing with Nate, it's not. He puts down words like "iridium" and I put "pig".
(Source: Tumblr)
Connor: I am made of sarcasm and homosexuality.
(Source: Tumblr)
Connor: *wears dark gray*
Morgan: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.
(Source: Tumblr)
Kiera: I'm straight.
Karin: Hey.
Kiera: So it turns out I'm not straight.
(Source: Tumblr)
Alicia: Roses are red, violets are blue…sunflowers are yellow…tulips come in all kinds of colors…daffodils are also yellow.
Kiera: Was that supposed to be a poem?
Alicia: No, I just like flowers.
(Source: Tumblr)
Nate: Being the smartest kid in class is like being the only kid in class.
(Source: Tumblr)
Connor: I love you like you're my little sister.
Morgan: Connor, I don't mean to scare you, but I am your little sister.
(Source: Tumblr)
Nick: Truth or Dare?
Mark: Dare.
Nick: I dare you to kiss the cutest person in this room.
Mark: Hey, Jessica…
Jessica (blushing): Yeah?
Mark: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Connor.
(Source: Unknown)
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