#Rotten Tomatoes Is Bought Off

[msclaritea]

As you can see, this account, The Movies Divide, is actually being run by Warner Bros Discovery/DC linked websites like DC World, the official fan site in the UK, sbd and Reilly Johnson of Johnson Concepts.

Response: "I know, right?" The Autistic Artist

If you notice, the chart above shows a gender gap of 20-21 points in reviews between men and women. Ignore these pathetic shit stains, sent by Warner Bros Discovery, Apple, IAC and the rest of their dirty pals. Go see The Marvels and have a kickass time.

It's becoming clearer everyday that Rotten Tomatoes has a bias against diverse films in general and the Disney Company in particular. It's a slap in the face to millions of Disney fans around the world, to continue putting up with this. Studios have no business using it. Hollywood magazines have no business using it and if I KNEW where to send the petition to tell whomever that they can shove Rotten Tomatoes up their arse, I'd start one.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/13/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Kudoboard; CaseyBloys/David Zaslav Shenanigans; Cast&CrewSightings; Samba Schutte; Con O'Neill; Ruibo Qian; Wendy Andersen; In Person Events; WatchParties; LubeAsACrew; People of Earth; Articles; Netflix WooAsACrew; Love Notes;

== Kudoboard Last Chance ==

Throwing this up top so you don't forget-- anyone who wants to add anything to the Kudoboard please message me tonight so I can get you the password to post. I'll be up for the next two hours so we've still got time.

== Casey Bloys ==

Whelp, Casey Bloys stepped in it again by posting an article by The Wrap about how True Detective was the most watched season on max. As you can imagine, a good chunk of the crew started calling BS on that, what with the Parrot Analytics stats from yesterday. Well, some of our favorite hashtags started trending this morning... #OhBloysHeMad and #TheNumbersWereThere

And in case you needed to see some more data that Bloys was full of crap--- Thank you to our dear friend @quirkysubject for pulling in Rotten Tomatoes Average Tomato-meter Ranking in with the Parrot Analytics Data in this awesome chart!

Not terribly long after, apparently the comments on The Wrap article really started to irritate ol Casey boy because he turned off comments on the post.

BUUUUUUT Our dear crewmate @spanishjenkies was kind enough to save a video before hand! So there's evidence of the trolling. Visit their twitter thread here.

Some of the crew has decided to go a bit further with the glorious Passive Aggression and started sending Casey Bloys gifts! @single_cat_mom sent him a Casio Compact Calculator to help him with his future numbers!

Annnnd our crewmate @ofmooshd got a cockroach at the zoo named after ol Casey Bloys!

Truly legendary levels of Polite Menacing today, m'dears! What a day!

In other WB/Max related news:

Did you know there's a petition to get this ... person... fired? If you wanted to sign that, here you go: Only if you wanted to of course.

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Samba BTS =

Samba went hog wild today with the BTS, some lovely folks on tumblr posted the videos. (THANK YOU SAMBA!)

Just a couple of highlights, please visit this post to see all the pictures. You can also visit Samba's IG.

BTS Video 1: Cast Reading - ty @fuckyeahworldoftaika,

BTS Video 2: Con & Rhys - @fuckyeahizzyhands

BTS Video 3: Izzy Flipping the Bird - @fuckyeahizzyhands

= Con O' Neill =

As usual, our favourite Unicorn, Con O'Neill is over here supporting the hell out of the saveOFMD effort and sharing the Parrot Analytics results.

= Ruibo Qian =

Our Venerable Pirate Queen Ruibo Qian is back on Instagram with more inspiring words for us.

= Wendy Andresen for #TaikaTuesday =

So I know that normally #TaikaTuesday is a thirst factory (and don't worry it still was) but I just had to make a shoutout to our absolute gem Wendy Andresen (one of our Red Flag crew) for posting a picture of her pup Peanut cosplaying as Taika for #TaikaTuesday.

For those of you unfamiliar with the reference shirt:

She was kind enough to post more too when asked!

I adore how much she supports the #SaveOFMD effort and she is always a delight to chat with. Sending all the love her way! <3

== In-Person Events! ==

Today at the Our Flag Means Death Matelotage Processional several of our crewmates came out in costume with signs and showed support at the WB Gates! Thanks to all the crew who attended! Thank you @aimeekitty for sharing these pictures! Their IG and Twitter

== Watch Parties ==

= Lube As A Crew =

It's baaaaack! Valentine's Day: 4PM PST, 8 PM ET, 12:00 AM GMT S1 Ep 8, 9 10 with @astroglideofficial

If you've bought Astroglide recently please consider doing some reviews! They would love the support. You can @Astroglide and use #ReviewAsACrew

As you can imagine, the memes are back too <3

== Feb 15: Uncle Season 1 ==

This is mainly for UK folks but non-uk folks are welcome to vpn in as well! Here's an article on how to join via vpn!

Thurs 02/15/2024 + Friday 02/15/2024 - GMT - 8 PM, ET - 3 PM, PST - 12pm

WatchParty Hashtags:

#ForTheNewUncle

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

== People Of Earth S1 Ep 5, 6 ==

#PiratesOfEarth has been going great these last couple days! Thank you again to @iamadequate1 for organising it! Next episode 5 and 6 tomorrow the 14th! at 10PM GMT / 5PM EST / 4PM CST / 2 PM PST /

== Netflix #WooAsACrew Video ==

More love for the streaming platforms! 🌹💕🐙 Vocals: @sgtbeatlespotter Video: @giulianaazr on Twitter

== Updated #WooAsACrew Calendar! ==

Looks like tomorrow the goal is to WOO FX! Twitter / Instagram / Tumblr Tomorrow is also a great day to be creative! Make some cakes! Or flowers, or drawings! Anything! Let's see some sweet stuff!

== Articles ==

Have we seen this one? I can't remember anymore, some more Parrot Analytics from January. Ty to @drcfxtina on discord for sharing!

== Uk Crew Updates ==

Thank you to @queerly-autistic for capturing this! Guess who's front and center on the top recommendations? You guessed it! OFMD!

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies!! Guess what time it is? I've had too much caffeine and I've taken my adhd meds on time so I'm Here, Queer, and ready to Cheer!

Look at everything you all did today! Do you see this list? And that's just a minuscule coverage of the pure polite chaos that ensued! I literally cannot add any more pictures because just so much has happened. We are 36 days in the Gravy Basket and you all are just ramping things up!

The tenacity, and creativity of this crew never ceases to amaze me!

There are more fundraisers in the works... (I'll post more when I know more) there's a slew of events, watch parties, and pure camaraderie everywhere! Everyone's making amazing memes, and artwork and fics! Seriously, you all should be proud of yourselves!

Not to mention, some of the most important things of all-- I am seeing SO MUCH SELF CARE. You are reaching out to the crew for support, you're taking days off, you're having fun and being creative for you... getting back to pet projects and doing things you enjoy!

You all are doing SO WELL. You are kicking ass, don't forget that! We'll have our down days, but no matter what you are making waves all over the place, bringing positive things to this world! As a side note, I wanted to mention, I know tomorrow can be a tough day for a lot of people. It can be lonely, or bring up good or bad memories. Please be sure to reach out to your crew for love if you're struggling. We love you, and even if it's a platonic love, it's overflowing here for you. You are wonderful, and we want to send you all the love we can.

That being said, I'm gonna end tonight with another note from @thelatestkate that I needed to hear a lot recently so I'm gonna share it with you too <3

You got this! Sending so much love m'dears!

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

These were the two gifs that murdered me today so I hope you enjoy. These goofy buggers always make my day.

Rhys Src: @bizarrelittlemew Taika Src: @ofmd-ann

[zot3-flopped]

Louis has nothing to say, but he’s got a plan, that one - in my opinion. I know not everything is truth but he seems to have a list of goals he’s ticking off: number 1 album, selling out stadiums (false but whatever), big world tour (not viable everywhere), documenting the young women pulling his shirt off, the tour film he financed himself, building a reputation as a hard drinking musical legend (stop laughing). I think he is ALL about the image as he will look back upon it, and as he expects his fans to look back upon it. It’s building a false legacy in real time. It’s like he learned some lessons in 1D about creating an image, and cranked the dial up to 11.

His working relationship with Helene Horlykk I think is important: she is all about manifesting things with nothing more than a ‘believe in yourself’ mantra. It works for him up to the point where you have to imagine non-fans being interested (they are not). And it looks really sad from the outside, it’s very expensive too, and there are obvious gaps. Where is his radio play? Where are the awards? I don’t even think he truly expects those things to happen. Where are his friends in the business? He is just living in his own little world and his fans are facilitating a fantasy for him.

He really pushes the limits of image over reality and like that anon said, it is absolutely not going to last. But he will have his public-facing memories. I dread to think what the reality of his private memories is. It cannot be easy forcing himself out there and meeting an audience of a couple of thousand women whom he knows are delusional and who want him to be a gay man, furthermore in a relationship with the one person whose career success must be quite galling for him. You have to ask why he does it and I think the answer is that his head is an absolute mess.

I agree. The daily vodka drinking doesn't help with that, although he thinks it does. His entire career is a vanity project. A few passionate and well off American Larries bought him his number one album by sending money to UK fans, and I wouldn't be shocked if he asked obscure members of his team whose name Louies don't know to send money too. His film was ignored by film critics, so much so that it doesn't have a Rotten Tomatoes score. Only four music critics reviewed FitF. The professionals aren't fooled by him.

[uchidachi]

When I was very little, I adored Roald Dahl. So when I saw there was a book of recipes based on his stories, I had to get it. I poured over the recipes, thinking they all sounded amazing and delicious.

I never made any of them. As a child, I did not have the permission or ability to make my own food choices. Part of why I’ve been making fancy breakfasts lately and posting them here is me trying to finally find the joy in cooking.

Yesterday, my wonderful neighbor gifted me giant cucumbers and tomatoes from her friend’s garden. With this abundance of vegetable, my mind turned to Roald Dahl’s Revolting Recipes. The book I bought 20 years ago was on my new shelf in my new apartment.

I was once enraptured by the description of real-life Snozzcumbers, from The BFG. I had (almost) everything needed for the recipe in my kitchen, why shouldn’t I try and make it?

So my inner child & I had Snozzcumbers for dinner tonight.

They were just alright 😅 but I’m glad I made them. I’m glad i fulfilled that one childhood wish, eventually.

Next I think I will try making the chocolate cake from Matilda.

(Transcript of recipe below the cut)

SNOZZCUMBERS FROM THE BFG

SERVES 8

YOU WILL NEED:

vegetable peeler

melon scoop (optional) or teaspoon

paintorusb

2 large cucumbers

1 can (3 ¼ ounces) tuna

1 to 2 tomatoes, deseeded and chopped

3 cocktail gherkins, finely chopped

3 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 teaspoons poppy seeds

salt and pepper

COATING:

a little extra mayonnaise popcorn (cheese-flavored popcorn tastes best)

extra poppy seeds

1. Peel the cucumbers.

2. With the pointed end on the vegetable peeler, cut several grooves down the length of cach cucumber and carefully scoop out little holes at random between the grooves.

3. Cut off the ends of the cucumbers about 1½ inches from each end.

4. Hollow out the seeds from the body of the cucumbers using a melon scoop or a teaspoon.

5. Stand each cucumber in a tall glass and allow the excess liquids to drain (about 30 minutes).

6. Thoroughly drain the tuna and mix in the chopped tomatoes, gherkins, mayonnaise, and poppy seeds.

Season to taste with salt and pepper.

7. Using a teaspoon, fill the cucumbers with the tuna mixture, packing it down with the handle of the spoon.

8. Paint a little mayonnaise in the grooves on the outside of the cucumbers and carefully fill the grooves with poppy seeds. (A steady hand is useful!)

9. Place a small piece of popcorn in each hole between the grooves, putting a little mayonnaise in first to secure the popcorn. These can also be coated in poppy seeds if you wish.

10. Replace the cucumber ends.

Sophie said the original Snozzcumber tasted of frogskin and rotten fish. The BFG said it tasted like cockroaches and slime wanglers. What do you think?

[world-cinema-research]

Week 1 - The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) Short Analytic Essay

By Carly Leavitt-Hullana (THE 112-SP '24)

The film I saw was The Amazing Spider-Man starring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, (see trailer below). This movie was released in July of 2012, 10 years after the original Spider-Man was released starring Tobey Maguire. I chose this movie as it was one of the first movies I remember fully and joyfully watching, as I was seven years old at the time. My mom bought us the Blu-ray DVD when it came out in November, and my sister, my two cousins and I would watch it all of the time; so another major impact of this movie was simply spending time with my family. However in this short essay, I will not focus on the significance of this film but speak about the box office performance, critical acclimation, general plot of the film, factors that could have persuaded or limited viewers from watching, the conventionality, and what new revelations I found after rewatching all these years later.

Official Trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man (Youtube)

In regards to the box office numbers, this film was commercially successful as the budget was about 220-230 million dollars and made $262,030,633 domestically and $495,895,604 internationally, or $757,890,267 worldwide. Although the opening weekend only raked in 23.7% of total gross, $62,002,688 respectively, it still performed well and the DVD and Blu-ray sales also performed admirably with a total of $113,789,781 domestically, (The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) Box Office Numbers via THE NUMBERS). Staying a little below trend with the commercial aspects, the movie was still critically successful with ratings of 6.9/10 for IMDb, a 71% for Rotten Tomatoes, and 66% for Metacritic. Regardless, the film is considered successful in both aspects as it made 2x the budget just from the domestic box office sales and received highly related reviews. One review is from Roger Ebert, who claims The Amazing Spider-Man is "...probably the second best [out of the Spider-Man franchise]." In the same article, "A remake that's also a reboot," he gives the film a 4.5/5 star rating. He also touches on an aspect that many of those who have watched the film appreciate; the screen time given to show Parker's story as well as an explanation why he decides to step into his newfound role, (A remake that’s also a reboot via Roger Ebert).

The movie begins with Parker as a child when he still lived with his parents, who soon dropped him off to board at his aunt and uncle's house and then mysteriously disappeared. Leaving behind a bag with his father's work that Parker finds at the beginning of the film, which then sends him on a hunt for answers that leads him to the "Tower," also known as the headquarters of Oscorp where his father's former research partner currently works, (The Amazing Spider-Man Summaries/Synopsis via IMDb).

The background story of Peter Parker is rather tragic, however, the producers used it to their advantage to bring in a larger audience in addition to the action scenes. Along with the star actors including Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, and Rhys Ifans and even Stan Lee's cameo where he plays the librarian in a fight scene. With the rating of the film being PG-13, that the directors represented the film to the proper audience of young teenagers and family, which also contributed to the high viewing and ratings. Even watching the Peter Parker Wake Up Scene (see below), you can see that this is a high-action, suspenseful movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat, pretty spot on with what I remembered.

The Amazing Spider-Man Wake Up Scene (Youtube)

On the other hand, a restraining factor that might have prevented more viewers from seeing this film is how recent the film came out in consideration to the original Spider-Man with Tobey Maguire. As I mentioned earlier, The Amazing Spider-Man only came out 10 years after the first Spider-Man, and 5 years after Spider-Man 3, so potential viewers who do not follow the Marvel-verse have a subsidiary probability of viewing the movie. Even so, looking at current reviews The Amazing Spider-Man (see promotional flier below) with Andrew Garfield is still loved, however recent adaptations starring Tom Holland are more favored. 

The Amazing Spider-Man Promotional Movie Poster

Although this movie is categorized as conventional, there are some unconventional themes that can be observed throughout the movie. Such as the controversial dispute Parker exchanges with Captain Stacy, where he claims the police are not doing their jobs effectively enough and that the "amateur in a suit" is only trying to help and do what the police are failing to do. Seeing as I was only six at the time I watched this movie, I cannot attest to society's views on the police in 2012, however it is a very controversial topic that is talked about more and more today. Another controversial topic that stood out to me is how the police and government try to downplay Lizard's sighting on the bridge. Which reflects the lack of information from government officials and framing of news coverage we experienced then and especially now in America. An example can be said about the death of the French photographer Remi Ochlik and war reporter Marie Colvin, who died from a Syrian attack in 2012. It is believed that they were targeted by Assad for speaking out, however the media framed them as being accidentally caught in the crossfire as they were suspected of being "rebel forces," Journalists Marie Colvin and Remi Ochlik die in Homs via BBC News).

Overall, there are a lot of new affairs I gathered after re-watching this film. Especially since the last time I saw this film I was about six or seven years old. Now, I can relate with Peter Parker's more introverted and shy side. I have also learned and experienced a lot about society and rhetorical and ironic messages in the media. However, aside from social commentary, the biggest difference I noticed was the spider bite scene as my memory of this scene was that he got bit in an office-like setting (?) whereas he actually got bit in the lab/building where the spiders and genetic testing took place (go figure!).

[cuprohastes]

People who want less regulation in business need to buy more frozen pizzas.

Anybody who bought frozen pizzas Arse knows that there is a range. At the top end of the range, it’s a pretty decent frozen pizza, tasty would buy again toppings are okay.

But there’s also the Pizza that you have to buy when you’re on a budget, the company is very obviously playing around with the concept of “what ‘a pizza’?”.

How much cheese counts - what is the minimum amount of cheese where we can still say that this is a pizza? When you say cheese, exactly what defines “cheese”? What’s the minimum amount of toppings that let us state that this is e.g. pepperoni? What is the technical definition of pepperoni and how can we stretch that to a salty pink disk that has near accidental amounts of meat?

And the result is you get a box that says it’s fully loaded pepperoni, and when you get it out of the packet, it’s doubtful whether there’s any cheese on there at all because you can definitely see the tomato sauce and the amount of coverage of that source with toppings and cheese is less than 50%.

Yet, the box says it’s a fully loaded pepperoni extravaganza?

If they’re willing to do this for a food that is basically the descendant of peasant flatbreads, that can be made at home if one had the time, without regulation, imagine what they’d do? Not just for pizza, for everything else as well?

The great thing is you don’t have to imagine. Because these regulations came in due to people putting plaster of Paris in the flower and selling bread that had the nutritional value of porcelain. They would add something that looked like ground coffee into the actual coffee so that they could buy 10kg of coffee and sell 50kg of it.

And of course, my favourite, adding borax to milk to cover for the fact that it had gone off, causing a massive outbreak of tuberculosis.

Heins became the powerhouse that it is because they were the first factory to make source that wasn’t rotten by the time it was on the shelves. And despite doing that, it did not force all other factories to meet that standard.

But now we have regulations. And people libertarians think that if they are removed, businesses will not go back to immediately poisoning absolutely everybody who can’t afford a premium service.

[destinyc1020]

TLM got an "A" in CinemaScore which does polling interviewing people as they exit cinemas. Are they bought off too anon? PostTrack, another polling service also got similar results. This is Trumpian logic that when the majority of people like something that a certain person dislikes, they most surely be bought off, no matter how wide the conspiracy the person has to construct to make their beliefs true

Rotten Tomatoes is owned by Fandango, which is in turn owned by Universal. Anon thinks that Universal is manipulating the Verified User process to make a project of their competitor Disney look better? The verification is done through the users that buy tickets through Fandango and there are already more than 5,000 verified users that have left their ratings. According to anon, Disney put more than 5000 credit card numbers in Fandango to create the fake accounts and then made sure to buy the CinemaScore and PostTrack results too. Or could it just be that a lot of people really liked TLM and the negative ratings are just seen in measuring tools where people don't have to verify that they actually watched the movie?

EXACTLY Anon. Some of these (sad to say) GROWN ADULTS are just bitter, salty, and racist asl. The fact that they are so triggered by a black Mermaid named Ariel (who's fictional btw) is just really utterly dumb and irritating imo. 🙄 They want this movie to "flop" so bad lol... 😅🤣 But it's not gonna flop. The movie already made almost HALF of what it took to make it in like 72 HOURS. Ummmmm....You do the math. Yes, other films are coming out this weekend and onward that will more than likely have a much bigger box office bang since those films are not geared just towards little girls, but people underestimate the power of GOOD word of mouth, fun times, great musical numbers, and FEEL-good movies!

[nothingneverforever]

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

I’d delayed watching this long enough that by the time I did, I’d heard all the great things, read all the shining reviews so much so that I almost didn’t want to watch it any more given my random meaningless avoidance of all things “critically acclaimed”.

So when I finally did, I was expecting to just love everything - after all, you’re reading the thoughts of someone whose unbiased favourite rides at Universal Studios Singapore are the Shrek dragon and puss in boots ones, someone who has been planning a princess Fiona tattoo (a la her Shrek Forever After head of the ogre resistance self) for years, and someone who bought Mark Oliver Everett’s autobiography years ago after falling in love with Eels from the various Shrek soundtracks… I could really go on about the many deep and lasting ways in which the Shrek franchise has stayed with me. I knew that some of the most raved-about elements of The Last Wish would be lost on me, such as the novel graphics and genre-bending animation and other umm technical things that I don’t really know how to speak to or care much about, but still, I should have loved everything else about it by all accounts.

So it surprised me greatly that this was my very favourite scene of the movie, which also happened to be the very very last:

Where are we headed, anyways?

Off to find new adventures and to see some old friends.

Yea the only time I felt actually moved (ok there was one other scene, will share more shortly) was when the movie was linked back to the greater Shrek universe, where Far Far Away was referenced and depicted and suddenly I felt much fondness for the film I was watching (or rather had just finished watching) mostly only because I recalled the glorious, unique, colourful world it was a part of.

That’s sad, right? For a 95% (rotten tomatoes) movie?

I’m typing this on my phone right now which is not my preferred mode of reflection so I shall first briefly enumerate my sources of unhappiness, before hopefully elaborating further in the future -

1. Death’s voice acting seemed to diminish the fear factor which was a waste because I did enjoy how menacing his weapon-wielding actions were … like was it just me or was his voice not scary at all…

2. Given that Puss was willing to give up his life of yore for Kitty, I wish we got to see more of their relationship or at least understood it’s meaning to both of them a little better

3. I don’t know yet what explains this lacking, but why did I feel soooo much more for the goldilocks x three bears subplot than anything to do with Puss? Who, I need not remind, has always been a favourite? Like, he’s so damn cute but so meh in his very own movie? Why…

Okay that’s it for now hehe the only empathic piece de resistance I’d thought of was the far far away scene one and how I wanted to be cool and say that the split-second meaningless Easter egg moment was the best part of the experience for me… so cool and different right me 😎

[ofbeautsandbeasts]

After years of watching Chia Pet commercials (especially in the 90s), I finally bought one! I randomly came across this Cthulhu version on eBay and snagged it at a low price and now I can fulfill that inner need to grow a Chia Pet at long last 😂

Applying the seeds was somewhat annoying at first because they kept sliding off. I had to wait hours until the seeds were drier for them to cooperate. I diligently watered it 2-3 times a day and it sprouted as advertised! 🌱 On Day 14, I harvested the sprouts that were on the body portion of Cthulhu and threw them in my Tomato Tofu Watercress Stew, because chia sprouts are edible and I wanted Cthulhu to look tidier. Yum 😋

Sadly, thereafter, a mold developed on the left side of Cthulhu’s head and overtook the sprouts, causing an unsightly rotten mass. Cthulhu had tired of being a cute novelty to me and thus became an Eldritch Horror™😱

[fancoloredglasses]

[RERUN] FLASH! AH-AHHHHHHHHH! (part 1)

When I started doing RERUNs of my older (”wall of text”) reviews, I knew I’d eventually run out of reviews that needed updating (NOTE: I did not start doing RERUNs due to running out of material. Granted, I’ve started doing reviews that are more modern than my childhood, but there’s a plethora of media I could review. In fact, if there’s something you think I should cover, please let me know!)

Flash Gordon is, I believe, the last of the reviews that need updating due to a lack of visuals. However, there are a bunch of reviews that have broken links and/or clips, so I may start going through my older posts to update the links. However, these will likely be less frequent.

Anyway, if you would like to read the original review, it’s available here.

(Thanks to Rotten Tomatoes)

[All images are owned by Universal Pictures and King Features Syndicate. Please don’t sue me]

Flash Gordon has a long history, dating back over 85 years in comics, animation, movie serials (back in the 30s and 40s, you often had a story told over several 15 minute films, thus ensuring moviegoers would return next week to see what happens next), television series, and of course feature films (in fact, all 3 serials from the 30s would each be consolidated into feature films for those fans who missed a week)

The version of Flash Gordon we’re looking at today is the feature film from 1980 starring Sam J. Jones and Max von Sydow. Among the supporting cast, you may recognize a few faces...

Playing Prince Vultan of the Hawkmen is Brian Blessed (and his legs that really should never be shown publicly...) Most Americans who don’t watch much British television may not recognize him, but most people who read this blog should have heard his voice.

(Thanks to Disney wiki)

He voiced Clayton in the animated film Tarzan...

(Thanks to starwars.com)

...and Boss Nass in The Phantom Menace.

In addition, Prince Barin of Arboria was played by Timothy Dalton. Though he hasn’t had many roles in the US, there are two most of you should know. If you remove the porn ‘stache and put him in a tailored tuxedo...

(Thanks to Den of Geek)

...you’ll have the fourth James Bond.

(Thanks to Slash Film)

In addition, he played The Chief in Doom Patrol.

And then there’s the other stars of the film. Names so big the producers were counting on their star power to sell more tickets...

(Thanks to The Mirror)

...Queen!

Freddie Mercury and company wrote not only the theme, but the entire score of the film! The studio was banking on the band’s popularity by plastering their name on every piece of promotional material in huge font.

[Fun Fact: Sam J. Jones, who played the title character, and the producer did not get along at all! In fact, in the final days of shooting, Jones was so fed up that he hopped a plane back to the US before filming ended and didn’t return for the voice dubbing during post-production. The producer grabbed a random member of the crew and told him to dub Jones’s lines. That’s why his voice in Flash Gordon is so different from his voice in the Ted films.]

(Thanks to arvo2711)

Visually...the effects look dated to be sure (and were kinda cheap-looking even for 1980), but the costumes, set designs, and models look like they came right off the pages of the Sunday strips.

(though the wings of the Hawkmen...not so much)

Anyway, I will be reviewing the film like the old 30s serials, meaning I’ll be doing the review in 15-30 minute clips, ending on a cliffhanger. Hope you enjoy!

If you want to watch the film, it’s available on, LookMovie. And now...on with the show!

(Thanks to Sam Henderson)

We open to the control room of Ming the Merciless. His chief advisor Klytus, in an effort to alleviate his Emperor’s boredom, has offered up Earth...

...(which looks like the producer couldn’t afford a realistic-looking model of the planet that would include clouds but instead bought a cheap relief globe) as a sacrificial planet. As the opening credits roll, Ming affects Earth with earthquakes, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and...

What the hell is hot hail?

As the credits end, we switch to a small airport where Flash Gordon, star quarterback for the New York Jets  (Fun Fact: in the original comics, Flash was a polo player), is waiting in his car on the tarmac (clearly airport security was very lax in the 80s) as what I’m assuming is supposed to be the hot hail peppers his car and dissolves in a cloud of steam.

Then a courtesy van from a nearby hotel pulls in next to Flash’s car (seriously, I know the TSA didn’t exist in the 80s but this is ridiculous) and out hops travel agent Dale Arden.

The pair then head to the waiting plane (and are the only passengers. So we have a sports celebrity and a travel agent flying together as the only passengers on the plane. One would think Flash would have an entourage and would crowd out Dale.)

The two make awkward conversation as the plane takes off.

Outside, we see fist-sized glowing objects falling to Earth and hitting the ground, smouldering. (maybe that’s the hot hail?) Inside the plane, the pilots are dealing with their radio and instruments going haywire...

...until the clouds blot out the sun!

While Flash and Dale are dealing with that crisis, we switch to an observatory owned by Dr. Hans Zarkov (disgraced NASA scientist). One of the projectiles crashes through a skylight...

...landing in the bed of his assistant Munson and catching it on fire! The keen wit Munson possesses realizes something is amiss (especially when he realized it’s a couple of hours after sunrise and still dark out), so he wakes Zarkov (who is sharing a bedroom with him. Obviously money’s been a bit tight since NASA fired him)

Zarkov immediately tells Munson to check out the moon. It turns out the moon’s orbit has shifted.

Then another projectile comes through the roof. Zarkov examines it, immediately realizing it’s not hot hail, but a piece of the moon. Zarkov sees these anomalies as an attack from outer space and the Earth has just 11 days before the moon collides with the Earth, killing everyone (he got all that from rolling a hot rock on the floor?) He then informs Munson he’s been drafted to help Zarkov begin the counter-offensive, which shocks Munson.

[OK, hitting pause here. First off, how did Munson not realize this was Zarkov’s ultimate plan? Was he just doing this for college credit?

Second, Zarkov has a fully-functioning rocket in the middle of his observatory and between NASA, the NSA, the FAA, and the military no one said anything about it? And third...these are two out-of-shape scientists against an alien army of unknown size with technology capable of moving the fucking moon! How the fuck does Zarkov expect to win?!

OK, rant over.]

Munson declines this “honor”...

...but Zarkov insists at gunpoint. Munson decided he’d rather die with a bullet to the back than death by anal probe (assuming the rocket doesn’t kill him first)

Meanwhile at 30,000 feet, another of the projectiles (which for some reason has Ming’s face on it) crashes into the cockpit. We’re not sure if it vaporized the pilots or the plane’s cabin pressure blew them out when the cockpit windshield shattered, but either way...

...Flash and Dale rush to the cockpit and see no one flying the plane! Fortunately, Flash said he was learning to fly in their awkward conversation earlier.

Flash tries to land the plane, crashing into Zarkov’s observatory...

...and flattening Munson (who knew there would be a third option to die?) Flash and Dale evacuate the wreck as Zarkov tricks them into the rocket.

Zarkov then pulls the gun on Dale and Flash, explaining he needs one of them to help fly the ship, choosing Dale since she’s lighter (OK, so now an out-of-shape scientist and a travel agent. Big improvement. I’ll bet those aliens are quaking in their boots now!), but Flash attacks Zarkov. In the ensuing brawl...

...Flash accidentally starts the launch sequence with Zarkov’s head and they take off! (OK, so now we have a professional athlete added to Team Zarkov. Things still don’t look good...)

As the rocket leaves Earth, the three pass out (I’m guessing a combination of G-forces and using 50% more oxygen than Zarkov planned) as it drifts into a sinister-looking hyperspacial vortex that looks straight out of The Black Hole.

WHAT awaits the trio on the other side?

CAN they stop the alien threat and SAVE THE EARTH?

WILL the producers be able to afford a BETTER model of Earth?

These and many other questions will be answered in PART TWO of the review of...

(Thanks to NicePNG)

[productsreviewings]

Many individuals in all probability consider Prime Video because the icing on the cake for an Amazon Prime membership. Sure, the subscription service may be greatest recognized for quick delivery, however Amazon has quietly bought the most effective streaming providers on the market — particularly for motion pictures. Each month, we began watching an increasing number of high-quality motion pictures on Prime Video.And whereas we have now a complete and up to date record of one of the best motion pictures on Prime Video, we all know that typically individuals need a smaller and in a different way curated stack. That is why we maintain creating new guides to the newest top-rated Prime Video motion pictures.March's record is so robust that we had no hassle compiling a listing of seven unbelievable motion pictures with scores above 90% and above on Rotten Tomatoes. They're mainly A-movies and up, so in case you've bought an Amazon Prime account and are on the lookout for one thing to stream this weekend, listed here are 7 new Prime Video motion pictures value including to your watchlist. Prime Tune: Maverick (2023)Prime Songs: Maverick has no high songs, at the very least on the subject of essential consensus. Whereas the unique has an RT critic rating of 58%, the long-awaited sequel boasts a unbelievable 96% rating, because of that includes even higher stunts that had me white-knuckle to the remainder of my hand — and a stronger plot.Right here, Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell (Tom Cruise) returns to the cockpit, lengthy after graduating for an unlucky purpose. Prime Gun Academy's newest era of pilots must be skilled for a mission that could be very unimaginable. Right here to coach them, again at his previous hang-out, Pete runs throughout previous flame Penny Benjamin (Jennifer Connelly) and has to coach the son of his late co-pilot Lt. Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw (Mile Teller). The 2, for apparent causes, do not come collectively at first.Prime Gun: Maverick will likely be an actual shock if you have not seen it but and solely know the unique. Thus it might have exceeded expectations, however its field workplace dominance is because of the easy indisputable fact that it's a very entertaining film.Sort: Motion journeyRotten Tomatoes: 96% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)RBG (2018)The documentary RBG examines the sudden and unlikely movie star standing of US Supreme Court docket Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. A champion for ladies's rights, Ginsburg led a life the place she fought for equality earlier than she was on the bench. And RBG tells his life story, proving a particular crowd-pleaser.The one main criticism towards RBG is that it's little extra hagiography than documentary, and one which preaches to the transformed. For many who are already on Ginsburg's aspect and who put on shirts together with her face on, that is hilarious.Sort: DocumentaryRotten Tomatoes: 93% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)Being John Malkovich (1999)It's possible you'll not know John Malkovich, however that will not cease you from watching one of many funniest and weirdest motion pictures this aspect of the New Jersey Turnpike. In it, John Cusack performs Craig, a failed puppeteer who's so determined for work that he takes a job in a really small workplace. And no, he does not have your normal cramped workplace: he works on a flooring that exists between the seventh and eighth flooring — and is a couple of third the peak of what you'd count on to get off the elevator. There he occurs upon an odd door that brings him into the thoughts of actor John Malkovich (taking part in himself). He is not the one one who discovers this gap, as his depressed spouse Lotte (Cameron Diaz) additionally will get to "be" John Malkovich. I would say extra, however the surrealist surprises hit higher with out additional clarification.Sort: Comedy/FantasyRotten Tomatoes: 94% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime

Video (opens in new tab)Pulp Fiction (1994)One of the rewatchable motion pictures in director Quentin Tarantino's filmography, Pulp Fiction is a chilling train. Its imaginative and prescient of California within the Nineteen Nineties is painted by a sequence of tales because of the interconnected chains of felony habits. Nevertheless, the hitmen is probably not as memorable (or quotable) as Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson). From a shoot-out the place we see Brad's massive mind to a dialogue over 5 greenback milkshakes (which was once costly), these two get entangled within the flawed enterprise.Tarantino provides it a soundtrack full of hits, a script that punches and a pacing that retains shifting. Whereas some scenes could also be too violent for some, this can be a film on this record that the majority will instantly watch (or re-watch).Sort: Crime dramaRotten Tomatoes: 97% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)Dazed and Confused (1993)Director Richard Linklater has made his title with motion pictures that carry a signature smoothness and chill — and Dazed & Confused is likely one of the greatest on the market. On the final day of highschool in Austin, TX in 1976, the graduating seniors are going by means of all of the twists and turns, whereas the incoming freshmen are simply making an attempt to outlive. It is additional intelligent when aggressive bully Fred O'Bannon (Ben Affleck) is out.Informal with out being informal, with house crammed by a stellar soundtrack, Dazed and Confused is precisely what its title guarantees: an ambiguous journey. Fortuitously, it is nonetheless fairly memorable, and stuffed with a stacked solid — you will acknowledge Milla Jovovich, and you may positively spot Matthew McConaughey.Sort: comedyRotten Tomatoes: 92% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)Rocky (1976)A dictionary-definition of an underdog story, the curious quest of the unsuspecting Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) with world heavyweight champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) is mindless. The great factor, although, is that Sly's wonderful efficiency - disappearing into Balboa - creates a personality we're all very completely happy for, at the same time as his story appears simply predictable.Not precisely a must-see for the brand new Creed motion pictures that Rocky has come out of, however a must-see for sports activities followers and film buffs alike. Particularly in case you've at all times questioned what the Sylvester Stallone hype was all about.Sort: sports activities dramaRotten Tomatoes Rating: 92% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)Carrie (1976)An unlikely promenade queen turns into a scream queen when the world's Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) activates. Not solely does she take care of her mom's (Piper Laurie) nightmares at residence, her classmates tease her when she experiences her first interval within the impersonal location of the college bathe. And whereas the entire college thinks they're going to have the final snort at making enjoyable of Carrie, they do not know she's discovering new telekinetic powers.Spacek is not the one one to be praised for this glorious Stephen King adaptation. Director Brian De Palma and screenwriter Lawrence D. Cohen ensured that the supply materials was used appropriately and respectfully and made the method a basicSort: the horrorRotten Tomatoes Rating: 93% (opens in new tab)Flip it on Prime Video (opens in new tab)As we speak's Greatest Amazon Prime Offers (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab) (opens in new tab)

[sanjosenewshq]

Halloween Ends Wins Field Workplace However Renews Streaming Debate

Regardless of the way you take a look at the numbers, “Halloween Ends” had an excellent opening weekend. Touted as the ultimate showdown between Laurie Strode and Michael Myers, the slasher pic earned $41.3 million in ticket gross sales from 3,901 theaters in North America, in accordance with studio estimates Sunday. It’s the primary movie to open increased than $40 million since “Nope” debuted in July and it surpassed its manufacturing funds, which has been reported to be between $20 and $30 million. Together with worldwide showings, it boasts a world complete of $58.4 million. It additionally renewed an evergreen debate about day-and-date film releases and a few in Hollywood are questioning whether or not it may have been even greater if it hadn’t debuted concurrently on Peacock, NBC Common’s streaming service. Going into the weekend, some analysts had pegged “Halloween Ends” for a gap within the $50 to $55 million vary. “Halloween Kills,” the earlier installment within the David Gordon Inexperienced-directed “Halloween” trilogy,” opened day-and-date final 12 months and nonetheless grossed $49 million on opening weekend. Inexperienced’s first “Halloween,” against this, debuted to $76.2 million in 2018. However that was pre-pandemic, theatrical launch solely and the extremely anticipated revival of a beloved franchise with good opinions. His subsequent “Halloween” movies had been extra divisive amongst critics and followers, nonetheless. “Kills” had a 39% Rotten Tomatoes rating whereas “Ends” has a 40%. “Smile,” in the meantime, has continued to defy horror-movie odds with one other sturdy weekend. Paramount’s unique thriller added $12.4 million, bringing its home complete to $71.2 million after three weeks. In restricted launch, United Artists Releasing’s Mamie Until-Mobley movie “TILL” bought off to a powerful begin with $240,940 from solely 16 places. Director Chinonye Chukwu’s fact-based account of Emmett Until’s mom’s quest for justice can be increasing within the coming weeks. Originally published at San Jose News HQ

[tittaclothing]

Cocktail sauce

Cocktail sauce plus#

If your sauce is ancient, many months past its best by date, get rid of it. Bite the bullet and throw it away.īut if it looks smells and tastes okay, the odds are, it probably is. There’s no point in making yourself ill simply because you can’t be bothered to make or buy some new sauce. However, all you’re doing is glossing over the cracks. You could always try to disguise these off notes by adding some strong spices or vibrant herbs. When the cocktail sauce is on its way out, you might detect a sort of rotten taste from the tomatoes, or you might find that the zest from the garlic and lemon has become far too strong. You can see if you can pick up a whiff of mold or rot, or staleness. If you think your sauce has been hanging around too long, take a quick sniff.

Cocktail sauce plus#

When the cocktail sauce is fresh, it has a slightly sweet aroma from the ketchup, with a hint of umami from the Worcestershire sauce, plus some spiciness from the garlic, horseradish, and lemon. When it’s fresh, the cocktail sauce will have a nice bright red color, but as it ages, the color will darken, particularly when it’s left out too long at room temperature. The other thing to look out for is any changes in the color of the sauce. The contamination is likely to have spread even though you may not be able to see it. Don’t just scrape off the mold, thinking you can use the rest of the sauce. When the cocktail sauce has been sat around for too long, mold spores will begin to appear on the surface. So if that happens to your sauce, it’s actually not a bad thing.īut if your sauce truly has spoilt, I’m about to advise you how you can tell. Gellification occurs more often with sauces that contain low artificial preservatives. It’s not harmful to eat, and a quick stir usually solves the problem. I found out that it is a natural reaction caused by horseradish roots and the pectin found in tomatoes. Having since read up about it, I’ve discovered that it’s not a problem. The first time I found that the consistency of my cocktail sauce had become gel-like, I thought I would have to ditch it. How do you know if the cocktail sauce is bad? It’s so quick and easy to make you knock up a small amount when the mood or need takes you. It shouldn’t be a big deal.Īfter all, when you’re making your own, you can control the batch size, so you shouldn’t end up with loads of leftovers. If you’ve been dunking shrimps into your container of cocktail sauce, once you’ve finished with it, don’t store it throw it away. While commercial, store-bought cocktail sourced will be okay in your fridge for months, you shouldn’t keep the homemade variety in your fridge for longer than one week. But because the ingredients in the homemade cocktail sauce are all quite stable, it should last for quite a while after making, providing you keep it covered and stored in a cool environment. If you refrigerate it, it should last even longer – anywhere up to 6 months.Įven then, it won’t necessarily go bad after that time, but the taste will almost certainly have deteriorated.ĭoes the same apply to a homemade cocktail sauce? I’ll go into the detail of those signs a little later on.Īfter opening, the sauce should be okay to keep in your pantry for up to one month. The best thing to do is to open the bottle and see if you can spot any signs of spoilage. The odds are that, as with lots of other types of condiments, your cocktail sauce will still be okay inside the bottle if it hasn’t been opened. How about if the unopened bottle is past its “best by date?” You should be able to find a “ best by date” printed somewhere on the label or bottle top, which is just as well as I’ve got a terrible memory for dates. When the bottle has not yet been broached, its shelf life is between 12 and 18 months. The best place to start is with commercially bottled shop-bought cocktail sauce. I would like to share my findings with you. I’ve asked these questions of myself many times, and I’ve now done the necessary research into the ins and outs of cocktail sauce and for how long you can keep it. If any of these situations or something similar rings true with you and you’d like a peace of mind once and for all, you’ll be pleased to know you’re in the right place.

How do you know if the cocktail sauce is bad?.

It’s well past its “use-by date,” but you’re worried if it’s still okay to serve. How do you know if it’s going off? How should it be stored anyway?Īnother scenario is when you’re cleaning out your fridge or pantry, and you come across a bottle of Heinz cocktail sauce that has been there for goodness knows how long. Have you ever bought cocktail sauce for a seafood dish you were planning to prepare but for one reason or another, you didn’t get around to it, and two weeks later, the sauce is still sat there in your fridge?

[itsme-basil]

Human Farm - read on ao3

Tags: steter, sex slave, breeding, dub-con

Part 1/2

Tagging: @therogueheart

Peter stepped out of the Shelby 1000, tongue snicking as his shoes crunched over the gravel driveway. His Cobra wasn't built for back roads. He hoped this trip was worth the potential chips in the blue paint. 

"Mr. Hale?"

Peter didn't turn to see who had called. He tugged at the sleeves of his suit jacket, getting rid of any creases in the fabric from the drive. He fiddled with his cufflinks, buttoned the first button on his jacket, and only once the other was within desired reach, did Peter lift his head to acknowledge him. 

He was an older gentleman. A jackal, in fact. Smelled like one. Peter resisted the urge to crinkle his nose in distaste. 

"Mr. Hale?" The man tried again. He was wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt, both with enough stains Peter wasn't entirely sure of the original colors. 

"You must be Dustin," Peter hummed. He raised an eyebrow at the jackal, noting the sharp sting of upset at Peter's tone laced with the equally unpleasant musk that every jackal seemed to possess. Like they rolled around in urine and rotten tomatoes. 

"That's me," Dustin tried for a smile. When Peter didn't return it, the jackal's shoulders tensed and the smile dropped. He took a breath, collecting himself before gesturing to the barn he'd just walked out of. 

"We can go on inside and see if anything interests you," he said. Peter gave a nod, lips pursing in displeasure. 

All the reviews had been excellent. They exceeded all of Peter's expectations. He was expecting something more. 

The two mile driveway was all gravel, the fields unkempt. The house he passed had chipping white paint and children's toys littering the yard. 

Peter had half a mind to turn around when he got to the barn -which also had peeling paint. Piles of scrap metal leaned against the broad side. Chickens ran across the path free range, and Peter decided he'd throw his shoes away once he made it back to the city. Maybe even the whole outfit. The car was definitely getting detailed at the least. 

"Is there anything specific you have in mind?" Dustin asked, pulling at the barn door. It squeaked on its hinges and Peter tried not to wince at the offending sound. 

"Purebred male," Peter responded, stepping over the threshold after Dustin. "Money isn't an object, I'd prefer to see your finest."

He had no hope that the man's finest was up to par. Based on the facility, Peter was sure he'd be walking out of here with his money. 

"Of course," Dustin smiled stiffly. He led Peter across the massive barn hall, stalls on either side. There was a cross hallway with its own stalls. At least the place smelled clean. The hall floor looked freshly swept. Peter peeked into a stall as they passed. 

It was furnished with a bed, a desk and dresser. Empty but it looked used, so Peter assumed the occupant was getting exercise. 

"Here's our first," Dustin said, bringing Peter over two stalls down. He opened the door and ushered whoever was inside out. Peter raised an eyebrow. 

The human was taller than Dustin. He was built well, hair trimmed. Peter stepped over, slightly impressed. He ignored Dustin's telling of the man's lineage, walking around the man, taking in the legs, the firm ass, broad shoulders and prominent pectorals. 

Peter hummed. "How old," he demanded. 

"Uh, he's nearly thirty," Dustin stammered, cut off from his rambling about the human's grandparents. 

"He won't do," Peter decided, shaking his head and stepping away in clear dismissal. He wanted something young. Something that could keep up. 

Dustin put the man back in the stall and scurried to catch up with Peter's easy gait. 

"Are you looking for something younger?" He asked. Peter hummed once more affirmatively. 

"I've got a twenty-three year old," Dustin said. "Most of our younger males are already bought for future breeding purposes."

Peter was surprised anyone would buy from this place to further their own breeding programs. He didn't show it though. 

The next two males weren't anything to write home about. One held himself in a way that Peter knew would rankle him after more than a few minutes, and the other was a trembling mess of anxiety. Not even his pretty eyes and curly blonde hair made that one worth it. 

At this point, Dustin seemed a little desperate. Either to get Peter to buy something or to find something Peter actually liked. 

"We've got one more," Dustin said, voice tight. "He's just recently been weaned from his mother, and I wasn't going to put him up until he was a bit older-"

"Show me," Peter interrupted. If this place was as professional as the website said, the male would be around the age of seventeen. Just recently weaned was something that appealed to Peter. The older the male, the more likely it's been used, and therefore not something Peter was interested in. 

Dustin looked hesitant, his features screwing up in indecision before he headed to the back of the barn. Peter followed along, unimpressed. 

They left the main barn through the back and crossed the gravel pack to a smaller barn. This one was mostly empty. Peter assumed it held the younger ones. 

These stalls had papers tacked to them. Peter read through some in passing. 

Female, age- 16, 60% human 40% wolf

Male, age- 17, 80% wendigo 20% human

Peter continued on, eyeing the different percentages. Dustin stopped in front of a stall, the paper listing its occupant as 100% human. 

"He may spook," Dustin said tightly, hand on the door. "He's been too young to integrate him with anyone but the mother and father."

Peter gave him an impatient scowl when the jackal didn't immediately open the door. 

"Just-just go slow," Dustin practically begged, like he knew Peter wouldn't and he was wasting his breath. "He might not be receptive."

Peter nearly growled. "Just open the damn thing."

Dustin tugged it open. Peter stepped inside. The stall was a bit smaller than the stalls in the other barn. 

The bed was smaller, and instead of a desk and dresser, the stall had what looked like a small play area. There was a coloring book discarded on the floor with colored pencils in a cup. 

A few stuffed animals and other educational toys and games sat in a chest in the corner. The human was on the bed beside the play area, tucked up into the corner with a fleece blanket over himself. His eyes were wide, skittish and honey brown. 

Dustin stepped in as well, stepping around Peter and avoiding the wolf's suit. Peter didn't step aside to give him any more room to navigate, but the jackal managed fine with only a slight brush of his jacket sleeve. 

The human on the bed tucked himself in further. 

"His name is Stiles," Dustin said, reaching forward with an open palm. Stiles didn't react until Dustin wiggled his fingers. "Come on out, Stiles."

It took well over ten seconds before the boy's legs unfurled from his chest. The blanket fell away to reveal a button nose and sharp jaw. 

He was deceptively lengthy as Dustin urged Stiles out of the bed and to his feet. He reached just taller than the jackal, thin as a pole. The clothes he wore hung off him awkwardly. The younger humans usually wore clothes, their bodies not able to regulate their own heat as well as the older ones. They still ran colder than most other species. 

"His father was brought in from Poland," Dustin said, gently pushing Stiles to walk towards Peter. The boy's eyes flickered from Peter to the door, back to the bed and over Dustin. Skittish was a perfect description. 

Peter reached up when he was close enough and the boy yanked his head away, heartbeat jumping. Peter was quick to shush him, reaching forward again to grab his chin. 

Stiles blinked up at him, beginning to tremble. 

"How much for him?" Peter demanded, turning Stiles' face from left to right. Moles dotted across his cheeks and down his neck. He let Peter pry his mouth open, his thumb hooked over Stiles' lower teeth. 

Dustin gave him a low number. A surprisingly low number for the boy. He didn't mention Dustin could double and still not get his money's worth. Instead, he hummed, sounding for all the world as disinterested as possible. 

The thing in his grip curiously pressed his tongue to Peter's thumb, mouth still held open. Peter smirked down at him, petting the underside of his chin with his fingers. 

"If you'd like, we can keep him here and finish getting him acclimated-"

"That won't be necessary," Peter interrupted, finally pulling his hand from Stiles. The boy closed his mouth, still curiously watching Peter as the wolf pulled out a checkbook from his back pocket. 

Dustin looked shocked for barely a second before schooling his features and nodding. Peter wrote down the price, signed on the dotted line and tore at the perforated line. He put the checkbook back in his pocket before handing it to Dustin. 

"I'll be taking him today," Peter said with finality. "I'm sure you have the facilities to wash him."

"O-of course," Dustin stuttered. He looked at Stiles, looking for a reason Peter would want to have him washed, and not finding anything. Of course he wouldn't, Peter nearly scoffed. The jackal was covered in filth, and the boy smelled an awful lot like the facility outside. Peter had a ten hour drive back to his place and he wasn't willing to spend the whole time surrounded by the smell of the country, no matter how pretty the boy looked. 

Dustin left the stall to lead Peter to the shower room, and Peter held out his hand to the boy. 

"Time to go," he hummed. Stiles looked down at it, back up at him and swallowed. Peter was patient enough to keep his hand extended. Dustin was waiting in the hall. Stiles finally reached forward, barely pressing the tips of his fingers to Peter's. 

Peter smirked and he reached forward to clasp his hand. The boy followed Peter out of the stall on unsure feet. They followed Dustin to yet another building and then shifted from foot to foot as Peter led Stiles to one of the shower stalls. 

"You can leave now," Peter huffed, not looking back at the jackal. "I'm sure that check has places to be."

That got the jackal moving. He nodded once. "I'll do that," he said, still gripping the flimsy paper. "I can meet you out front once you're finished."

Peter didn't respond. The jackal left and Peter got to work helping Stiles out of his shirt and cotton pants. 

"What a pretty thing you are," Peter hummed as more skin was exposed. He was pale and littered with moles. The shower was turned on and Peter slipped out of his suit jacket. 

He looked for the cleanest place to set it, but sighed when nothing suited his standards. He drapes it over the back of a plastic chair, already planning on setting the fabric on fire when he gets back. 

He removed his cufflinks, dropping them into his pocket before rolling the sleeves of his white button down up past his elbows. 

Stiles didn't seem all that concerned with his nakedness. He didn't try to cover himself, and didn't blush as Peter eyed him from head to toe, lingering on his little cock hanging softly between his thighs. 

"What is a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?" Peter demanded, feeling his dick twitch in his slacks, filling slowly. 

Stiles glanced up at him, confusion in those honey eyes. He looked around the shower room which was quickly filling with steam. 

"Dunno," he answered, and wasn't that cute. His voice was deep for his age, but didn't lack that youthful edge. He was going to have fun with this boy. 

"Come here," he demanded, lifting a hand. Stiles was quicker to step forward than the first time, moving right into Peter's touch. The boy was curious as Peter ran a thumb over his lower lip. He opened his mouth and Peter hummed in approval, smirking as he pushed his thumb in. 

Stiles' tongue reached out to met him, licking at the pad out of curiosity and not sexual advance. Peter stroked his thumb over Stiles' tongue, feeling it undulate to meet him. 

"You're going to be perfect, aren't you?" Peter smirked, pressing his thumb in deeper. Stiles let his jaw drop open to make room. 

The meatier part of his thumb passed Stiles' lips and the boy suddenly gagged, tears welling in his eyes. Peter pulled back, allowing him to cough but not removing his thumb entirely from the boy's mouth. 

"I know," Peter mock sympathized, petting at Stiles' tongue again as Stiles heaved and swallowed. "You'll get better at it."

Stiles -the poor thing- nodded, blinking wet eyes up at him. Peter didn't bother pressing back again. Instead, he levered his grip on the boy until he could do nothing but lower himself to his knees. He looked up at Peter, his mouth still held open. 

"Good," Peter praised. "You take direction wonderfully, pretty thing." 

Who knew he'd find something like Stiles in a dump like this. The strain on his cock against his slacks was becoming difficult to ignore, and he used the hand not gripping Stiles' jaw to pop the button of his slacks, tugging the zipper down. His skin was growing tacky from the shower steam, but he managed to get his slacks and briefs down enough for his cock to spring free. 

"You're going to be a good boy for me, aren't you, Stiles," Peter asked, gripping his cock just under the head and sweeping it across Stiles' cheek. 

"Yes," Stiles answered, the word slurred as Peter pressed down on his tongue. Peter's smirk widened and he forced Stiles to open his mouth wider. 

He feeds the head of his cock into Stiles' mouth, hooking his thumb over Stiles' teeth to keep him from biting down. The curious little thing met him with his tongue, pressing flat against his tip. Peter fed him a little more and the tongue flattened down, making room. 

Peter removed his hand from his cock to curl around the back of Stiles' neck, keeping his head angled to make the slide down his throat more comfortable. 

Holding Stiles still with both hands, he continued to gently thrust into his mouth, the shower room filled with the wet sloppy sound of his cock sliding in and out of Stiles' mouth. 

The boy blinked rapidly, trying to work his tongue with not much room. His hands reached forward to grip the front of Peter's thighs, fingers flexing rhythmically. Peter pushed in a little deeper, the fingers tightening their hold as Stiles' face got red, eyes watering as he gagged against him. The feeling of his mouth contracting around him was heavenly. 

Peter growled out a groan, hips snapping forward. Stiles coughed, palms pressing forward. Too weak to stop Peter from continuing to fuck into the deepest part of Stiles' mouth. 

Spit and bile drooled from his chin as he continued to gag on Peter's cock, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

"There's ways to get you to lose that reflex," Peter managed, fingers curling tightly to angle Stiles' head back further. The boy was panicking, struggling to breath between his cock hitting the back of his tongue and gagging. 

With the new angle, it was a straight line down his throat. Peter only had to add a little pressure for his cock to slip past the boy's tonsils. Peter didn't stay put for as long as he wanted. He'd have to train the boy to hold his breath later on. 

He pulled his cock clear from his mouth as Stiles choked on air and spit, gagging and coughing. 

"No more," Stiles choked out, eyes red with tears. Bile and spit clung to Peter's hand and he used his thumb to smear it across Stiles' mouth, allowing the boy a moment to rest his jaw. "Please."

"Almost done," Peter promised. He slipped his thumb back between pretty pink lips, forcing his mouth open. Stiles struggled a little, but his breathing was fairly regular, so Peter didn't waste time. He shoved himself into Stiles' wet warmth. 

The boy shoved at his thighs, but even if he had been older, Peter knew he wouldn't be able to move him. "Shh," he murmured over the wet gagging noise as he pushed in deeper. "Hold your breath."

He waited until the words sank in, Stiles watering eyes widening before he sucked in a breath. Peter shoved himself down Stiles' throat. 

He stayed there, thrusting as deep as he could go, in and out past Stiles' tonsils at a brutal pace. He felt the boy retch around him, more bile and spit dirtying his hand and Stiles' chin and front. 

He fucked the boy's mouth until he felt his balls drawing up into him, his cock twitching. Peter pulled out, keeping Stiles' mouth open. He removed the hand from around his neck and stripped himself roughly, spit making it an easy slide. 

Stiles coughed and panted, nearly biting down on Peter's thumb as he slumped down. Peter came on a growl, cum splattering against Stiles' mouth and chest, adding to the mess. 

He hummed, satisfyingly empty as he released Stiles' chin. The boy slumped to the floor, his hands leaving the wolf's thighs to grab his throat. Peter wiped his hand on his ruined suit jacket before tucking himself back into his pants. He glanced down at his shoes and snicked his tongue in displeasure. 

It couldn't be helped at the moment, so he reached down to grab Stiles' under the arms and force him to his feet. The boy swayed uneasily on his bare feet, gaze distant and wet. 

"Shower time," Peter decided, spinning Stiles around and giving him a pat on the ass. Stiles stumbled into the shower and Peter got him to clean his front. 

The shampoo was strong and made Peter want to sneeze, but it covered up the stink of the facility, so he kept his displeasure to himself. 

Once the boy had fully cleaned himself under Peter's supervision, he was bundled in a towel and dried off. Peter did screw his nose up when he realized Stiles would have to put on his previous outfit. 

"We're burning everything when we get back," Peter decided as Stiles got dressed, his hair dripping onto the shoulders of his shirt. 

Peter draped his suit jacket over his forearm and held out his hand for Stiles. The boy seemed even less willing to reach out, his throat working painfully to swallow. Peter sighed something put upon and wiggled his fingers the way he'd seen Dustin do. 

"I don't have all day, pretty."

Stiles reached forward, allowing Peter to wrap his fingers around his and the wolf headed out of the room. He followed the gravel path past the two other barns to the front, where his car still sat, nearly pristine juxtaposing the overgrown lawn and rocky drive. Dustin had the sense of mind not to lean against the Cobra as he waited, and Peter was grateful, though it would be getting detailed anyway. 

"Pleasure doing business with you, Dustin," Peter fringed delight, walking right past the jackal and to the passenger side door. It was a little slower, Stiles navigating the gravel with bare feet. 

"Uh, yeah, same to you," Dustin stuttered. Peter yanked open the passenger door and guided Stiles to it. 

"Sit down, pretty," he hummed softly to the boy. Stiles looked inside before up at Peter. He settled into the seat, bare feet in the foot well. Peter straightened when he felt the jackal coming closer, holding out a small pack of papers stapled together in the corner. 

"These are just legal papers. He'll need to get fixed, or there's an extra charge if you want to use him for breeding purposes. You'll need to sign everything before you leave."

Peter turned back to Stiles, leaning down and grabbing the seatbelt. 

"Arms up," he ordered. The boy did as he was told and Peter clipped him in, pulling the belt snug around him before shutting the door. The jackal frowned, still holding out the papers. 

"Mr. Hale," he prompted, giving the papers a little shake. 

Peter stepped forward and grabbed the papers. He walked around the hood and opened the driver's side door. He got one foot in before Dustin made a noise in protest. 

"My lawyer will look this over before I sign anything," Peter called over the top of his car. "You'll get them through the fax."

And with that, he dropped into the seat and slammed his door shut. The papers were flung into the back seat as he started the car. The jackal shouted at him, red in the face, but Peter revved the engine and peeled out of the circle drive, kicking up gravel. 

Peter smirked as the jackal jumped back, still shouting. He tore down the driveway, smirking as dust and rock clouded the air behind him. 

Beside him, Stiles was gripping the doorframe and the dashboard with white knuckles, breath short and panicky, eyes wide. 

"Ever been in a car before, pretty?" Peter asked, directing his smirk to the human beside him as he took a bend too fast. Stiles squeaked and shook his head. 

The drive was smoother once they hit pavement, but Stiles was still stiff in his seat. His wide eyes looked out the window, watching the world pass by in a blur. They had a ten hour drive, Peter knew the boy would settle in a while. Might even be lulled to sleep. 

He didn't bother reassuring the boy, just headed towards the on ramp heading to north California. 

[shewhoeatssand]

General TG characters and what pets they should/shouldn’t have

When I say “general” I mean the ones either from Anteiku or ones that were introduced before :re and aren’t shown to be part of an organization. I’ll do CCG and Aogiri characters later.

Hide - Our favourite blond boy! I think it’d be illegal for me not to let him have a golden retriever. He’d take it on walks to Johoku Chuo park on the weekends, and he’d name it Ethan after the first blond boy in The Blond Boys (the one who performs for the other boys with a ribbon baton).

Kaneki - A house cat. Just an American shorthair or calico from off the side of the road. This cat would probably live a very calm life, sitting on it’s owner’s lap while he reads, before suddenly being thrown into a house with a bunch of strangers and being fed scraps of human meat lol. I think it’d be very therapeutic for Kaneki to have a cat though, and Touka can look after it while Haise is happening.

Touka - A rabbit!! She should absolutely have a rabbit. She already loves rabbits, and I imagine the only reasons she doesn’t have one yet is because she doesn’t have the space, money or time to look after it properly, but if she did, she’d have a rabbit. Heck, she could have multiple rabbits. And she would spoil them rotten too, and buy them cute outfits and take them for walks to shrines and stuff (can you walk a rabbit? I hope you can). Just. Touka with rabbits. It would be amazing.

Tsukiyama - He must have horses. A bunch of them big sprinty bois. I don’t know horses very well, so I can’t tell you exactly which breed of horse he’d own (though I’m pretty sure I remember someone making a post about it!), but let’s say he has multiple horses of a variety of breeds. They’d probably live on a separate property dedicated to his horses, with a lot of land on it for them to explore. Shuu would also take photos of them in beautiful places a lot, and run a blog posting about his horses.

Yoshimura - A cage full of budgies, that would be named after different teas and flowers that Ukina used to like. They’d live upstairs in Anteiku, and be evacuated to Yomo’s shipping container when the CCG came to destroy Anteiku. Yoshimura would probably put pretty potted plants inside their cage for them to investigate every once in a while. I can also see him putting a large tank full of goldfish for the customers to watch inside the shop.

Uta - Another bird. But this time, it’s a big bird. Uta would probably like owning an African Grey bird, because it can be trained to say more words than most birds, and can therefore be used in some of the best pranks. Imagine being a dove, and chasing down a ghoul, but then it disappears around a corner and you hear “quick! He’s over here!”. Then this voice proceeds to lead you around in circles for 20 minutes, before the ghoul you were chasing earlier appears with a bird on his shoulder and kills you while laughing his head off. Typical day for investigators once Uta gets himself a bird.

Roma - Every time I see the name “Roma”, I think of the tomato. Which makes me think of gardening, which makes me think of guinea pigs. Roma would probably own exactly 2 guinea pigs, and they would be called Felony and Misdemeanor, however she would tell most people that they’re called Felix and Missy. She would feed them lettuce from her neighbor’s garden, and join race groups to put them in guinea pig races, then if her guinea pigs ever came last, she would kill everyone at the tournament.

Nishiki - I can’t believe I got this far without remembering Nishiki! He would have a chihuahua that was originally bought for his girlfriend Kimi, but then he ended up taking it for walks instead of her, and then it got really attached to him and now he sleeps next to the chihuahua more often than he sleeps with Kimi. If anyone ever laughs at him for owning a chihuahua, he will flip them inside out and hang them from a telephone pole, which he will make very clear to everyone. Good job Nishiki.

Koma - I can think of two things for Koma - either an entire giant catfish (yes! A whole catfish!) or a squirrel monkey, but I’ll go with the catfish for now because it’s funnier. Originally he wanted a trilobite, but when he found out they didn’t exist anymore he bought a giant catfish instead. Obviously he couldn’t fit the catfish in a regular fish tank, so he took it to a hidden pond in the woods and marked out a trail with a sign that said “Koma’s catfish trail” on it so he could remember where to go. He even put a collar on the catfish with a tracker before leaving it, and sent an Ape to the woods each day to feed it and update him on how the catfish is going. However, the government did not enjoy having a catfish trail that lead to an actual catfish in their forest, so they sent someone to remove it and set it free. So when Koma received news that someone moved his catfish, he tracked them down, brought 50 ghouls to their house, yelled at them for 2 hours, stole their toenails and threatened to kill them if they or another person moved his catfish again. Then he orchestrated a mission to find his catfish, followed the tracker, got his catfish and put it the fuck back because no one moves his goddamn catfish.

Irimi - A black doberman, as a group mascot, and a little pink axolotl that she buys miniature hats for. The hats usually fall off though. She takes the dog for walks in the same park as Hide, so sometimes when they see eachother they have to awkwardly say hello while their dogs yap at eachother very very loudly and attract the attention of everyone around them.

[tightwadspoonies]

Grocery Store Gardens

Did you know that if you buy just about any fresh veg from a grocery store, you can grow more of it on your own? 

It’s true!

While some of these methods might not net you tons of produce, they’re a fun project and can at least save you a little in produce expenditures (and decrease waste!) if you were originally planning on throwing the seeds/butts/eyes of your fresh veggies away, here’s a chance to give them new life!

From Seed:

Trying to harvest and grow fruit and veg from seed is often the least reliable way to grow veg from supermarket produce (due to hybrids and interbreeding, which means you’re never really sure what you’re going to get-if anything- with grocery harvested seeds), but since seeds are familiar, it’s definitely worth mentioning! Seeds that are most likely to grow are those that have not been irradiated (which stops the seeds from being able to grow), and those that are fully mature (for example, colorful peppers instead of green peppers, which are not ripe enough to produce viable seeds). It is advisable to wait until the fruit/veg is very ripe or overripe before harvesting your seeds.

Tomatoes: Slice ripe tomatoes into slices, and place 4 of the slices in a gallon container of potting soil. Cover with a half inch or so more potting soil, place in a warm, sunny place, and keep moist. Seedlings should start sprouting in 7-14 days, at which time you should pull the strongest ones and re-plant them in their own pots. Once there is no longer a danger of frost, you can plant these in the ground outside or move their pots outside on a patio.

Peppers: Remove seeds from ripe (orange, yellow, or red peppers are most likely to be ripe) peppers, dry them for a few days. Once dry, test your seeds by placing them in a clear zip bag with a damp paper towel in it, and taping this to a window. The ones that sprout (time to sprouting can vary) can be moved to starting trays or their own pots. Once there is no longer a danger of frost, you can plant these in the ground outside or move the pots outside on a patio.

Winter Squash: Wait until the squash is as ripe as possible without rotting (slightly rotten is fine if you weren’t planning to eat it, or didn’t get the chance to), then remove the seeds and let dry for several days. Do as you would for peppers. Keep in mind that the squash that grow from grocery store squash seeds may be very different than the squash they came from.

Citrus fruits: Remove whole seeds from the citrus fruit of your choice, and place in a bowl of water. The ones that sink are the most developed and have the best chance of growing. Wrap in a damp paper towel and place in a clear zip bag but leave the bag slightly open. Place in a dark place (like a drawer or in your closet) for 2-6 weeks, until 2 small leaves are clearly visible. Carefully plant this tiny plant in a container of soil. Keep the soil moist. If kept well, this will form a tree that will bear fruit in 3-6 years. In a warm climate the pot can be moved outside, while in a cooler one you may want to keep your tree inside in the winter.

Avocado/Mango: Do as you would for citrus fruits, but instead of waiting for leaves, just wait until the root is about 3in long before taking it out and planting it in a pot (you will have to scrub the mango pit clean, let it dry a few days, and remove the outer part of the pit to get to the large bean-like thing in the middle, you do not have to do this for the avocado). Note that it will take about 8 years to start producing fruit, and when/if it does, it may not produce the kind of fruit you were expecting. But they do make a nice houseplant!

Stone fruits (peaches, apricots, plums, etc...): Place the pits in a small jar of dirt in your fridge for 3-4 months, until they start sprouting roots. When they begin to root, take them out of the fridge and plant them in pots. These are another 3-6 year investment, but of all the store-bought-pit-trees, these are probably going to produce fruit that is most similar to the original fruit.

From an existing base or part of the fruit/root:

Growing things from existing parts of plants will yield you a lot more consistent results and is often a lot easier than growing from seed, but it is a little more of a unique challenge!

Onion/Green onion/Celery: Cut the base off the onion or celery bunch about an inch from the roots. Set in a small, shallow container about half-full of water, coming up only a quarter to a half inch up on the base. In a few days, you’ll see shoots come up and roots start to form. Change water every day or so until there are plentiful roots, and then transplant to a container filled with potting soil, where they will continue to grow.

Turnips/Beets: Cut the root off about 2 inches below the top. Eat the root and plant the top in some potting soil so the very top is just sticking out of the soil. It will grow greens, which you can harvest and eat raw or sauté, and over time the rood will re-grow.

Potatoes/Sweet Potatoes: Wait until eyes start to form on your old potatoes. Cut them up, making sure that at least one sprouting eye is on each piece. Get a deep container like a trash can and fill the bottom 6in with gravel or rocks. Fill the container with potting soil/dirt and bury your potato pieces about an inch deep. They will shoot up leaves and stems within about a week (you can eat sweet potato leaves, but NOT white potato leaves). Place outside if it’s after the last freeze where you live or keep inside by a window. Wait about 4-5 months or until the above ground plants die, then dump out the container and find all your new potatoes! Its like a scavenger hunt!

Garlic:

Outdoor: Stick a single clove of garlic 2 inches deep in the dirt in the fall a few weeks to a month before the ground freezes. The bigger the clove, the bigger your bulb will be when you harvest. Cover with mulch or straw or cardboard or whatever you have if you live in an area with cold winters. Harvest in July/August the next year. 

Indoor, for garlic greens: Plant 3-4 cloves in a pot by a sunny window. The cloves will shoot up greens within about 2 weeks, which you can cut and use like garlic.

Ginger: Essentially, take a piece of ginger with some eyes on it (more likely if it is older (but not shriveled) or organic, as conventional ginger is often treated with growth retardants which make it take a lot longer to grow) and do as suggested for avocado/mango, as above. You can harvest the above-ground shoots and it will grow more ginger below ground over time!