#SATOSHI AND RISA HUGGING IT OUT

[saturniiddae]

Now that DNAngel is officially My City Now, I'm doing a full outline for LaT and my favorite part of the process is trying to figure out how to do Hiwatari in the context of my plotline and---

"If Hiwatari good, why act so bad???????????" is probably my favorite motivation note in the whole thing

[satorisa]

Falling: Chapter 3 - In Which the Boys Have the Best Sleepover Ever

Rating: T

Summary:  "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."

Alternate Reading: AO3

Because the best sleepovers involve watching Studio Ghibli movies, right?

With the May holidays coming up, Daisuke’s parents planned to go out of town to visit their college friends. Grandpa Daiki had left for Italy about a week earlier with a close friend to enjoy wood-fired pizzas, lemons the size of his face, and the beautiful, Sicilian breeze. And so, until Grandpa Daiki returned to Japan the Monday of the holiday week, it was unanimously decided that Daisuke would spend the weekend at the Saehara household.

“What’s the occasion?” Risa asked when she saw the duffel bag Daisuke had that Friday morning. “Running away from home?”

Daisuke nearly protested when Takeshi swooped in, wrapping his arm around Daisuke’s shoulder. “Nope! He’s sleeping over at my place for the weekend! Are ya—” Takeshi began to bounce his eyebrows. “—jealous?”

Risa laughed. “Jealous? Of not being invited to your ham fest? Puh-lease.”

Satoshi appeared on the other side of Daisuke and silently waved at Risa. She returned the gesture.

“Congrats on waking up early again, Hiwatari-kun. You’ve been on a roll lately.”

“Thank you.”

“So,” Risa asked with a grin, “what do you guys have planned for your super special sleepover?”

“I think we’re baking this evening,” Daisuke answered. “Then we’re marathoning Studio Ghibli films.”

“Absolute classics,” Takeshi interjected.

“Tomorrow, we’re taking Satoshi out to buy some clothes and…uh…spend the rest of the evening talking until we fall asleep.”

“For our brotherhood,” Takeshi interjected again.

“And then we’ll spend the rest of Sunday watching Studio Ghibli movies until we pass out.”

Risa blinked before she started laughing. “Actually, I take that back. I’m a little jealous I’m not invited.”

“You can’t sleep over, of course, but you’re free to join us!” Takeshi said, excitement dripping with each syllable.

She just smiled. “I’ll let you know if I can.”

…

Since Risa had lunch plans with Ritsuko that day, the boys decided to eat in Daisuke’s classroom. They needed to meet up before they headed home for the weekend to prepare themselves for Risa’s potential company.

“Boys,” Takeshi said as he sat down, “I shot my shot.”

“Congrats,” Daisuke said as he unwrapped his bread.

“Did you have to invite her over?” Satoshi grumbled, digging into the bento Takeshi packed for them that morning.

“Look, I get that you’ve got issues, but what’s the worst thing that could happen? Is she gonna try to get you alone to finagle information about Dark from you?”

Satoshi looked at Takeshi straight in the eye and knocked on the desk. Takeshi broke out in raucous laugher, and both Takeshi and Daisuke knocked on the desks they sat at in solidarity.

“I don’t think she’ll do that, though,” Daisuke reassured. “I think she was genuinely interested in what we’re actually doing.”

“I know,” Takeshi said with a smug smile. “She was hooked the moment you said we’re baking later.”

“Don’t tell me you tailored this weekend just for her,” Satoshi said.

“What little faith do you have in me?” Takeshi feigned offence. “I tailored this weekend just for you.”

Satoshi shrugged. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Takeshi shot him a quick glare before downing several large bites of his lunch. He chased it with water and, after a loud burp, he met both Daisuke’s and Satoshi’s gazes.

“Alrighty boys, let’s set some ground rules for this weekend if we so happen to find ourselves in Harada-imouto’s presence.” He raised a finger. “1) We do not joke about or discuss my crush on her around her. If she finds out, you are dead to me.” He raised another finger. “2) Satoshi is not to be left alone with her at all. For his safety. And, uh—” Takeshi put his hand down. “—that’s about it.”

“Um…I think I need to add one more rule,” Daisuke said.

“Aight. Add away.”

“3) Risa-chan cannot be left alone with me, either.”

Satoshi focused on his bento, picking at the eggs with his chopsticks. Takeshi leaned in, eyes glistening with curiosity.

“What secrets are you hiding from me, oh dear best friend?”

…

One of the underclassmen from the art club caught Satoshi on the way to the shoe lockers, so Takeshi went ahead while Satoshi talked to them. They quickly chatted about the en plein air social the club had planned during the holidays before going on their merry way with an enthusiastic farewell.

Those cute underclassmen of his were starting to grow on him.

After he switched his shoes out, he spotted Takeshi and Daisuke waiting by the entrance. He expected to leave with them to enjoy a fun evening with the boys when a familiar pink ribbon came into his field of vision.

“Hey, guys!” Risa greeted while Ritsuko, who trailed behind her, waved. “My parents said I could come over for some baked goods this evening! Mind if Ritsuko tags along?”

“The more, the merrier!” Takeshi said. “Welcome aboard the fun train, Fukuda!”

“I’m just here to steal your recipe for Valentine’s Day.”

He laughed, and the group was about to head out when Satoshi’s phone rang. He saw Inspector Saehara’s caller ID and picked up.

“Sorry to ruin yer plans and all, but somethin’ urgent just popped up that needs to be done ASAP.”

“Is it more urgent than baking?”

“I know you’re upset, Satoshi, but—”

“I’m telling Saehara-san that you called me in for work and ruined my youthful sleepover.”

“Satoshi, please don’t call—”

He hung up. The group looked at him in awe.

“Sorry, but something came up at the station. Have fun for me.”

…

Inspected Saehara locked the door to the office behind him. Satoshi glared at the older man, and he just guffawed.

“I’m really sorry, Satoshi.”

Fuming, he ignored Inspector Saehara’s apology and marched back home without him. When he arrived, Risa and Ritsuko were long gone. A half-eaten cake sat on the table, and Takeshi and Daisuke were playing a video game in the living room.

They looked away from the TV and, instead of greeting him, they started laughing at him for being a young professional. Satoshi’s eyebrows furrowed more as he ignored them, chucking his school bag at the sofa (narrowly missing Takeshi) before helping himself to some cake.

Plate in hand, Satoshi sat on the floor by Daisuke before having a bite. (Dark chocolate with ganache. Delectably moist, decadently rich and, most importantly, not too sweet.)

He watched them play while eating his cake, purposefully ignoring Inspector Saehara when he finally arrived with dinner. They all gathered in the living room, digging into the fried chicken as they began their movie marathon. They watched Princess Mononoke first since it was Inspector Saehara’s favorite film from the Studio Ghibli collection but, when the old man began to snore halfway through, Takeshi banished him to the master bedroom, and his muffled snores accompanied Joe Hisaishi’s ethereal score until the movie ended.

Daisuke ducked into the downstairs bathroom to get ready for bed in case he fell asleep while watching the movies, so Satoshi went upstairs to change and freshen up when he saw a text from Risa.

She sent him a picture from earlier; the girls stood to the left, guys on the right, as they framed the cake in the middle. The message underneath read: “had lots of fun earlier! hope we can do this again soon!”

Satoshi blinked, wondering what prompted Risa to text him. They only ever messaged each other to confirm plans with the group or to find each other in crowds: general housekeeping more than anything.

Satoshi: Did Fukuda steal the recipe?

Risa: yup! she’s got it stashed away on her phone! :)

He wondered what possessed him to message her, but the speed at which she replied with was astounding. His phone pinged again, and he saw another text from her.

Risa: how’s the movie marathon?

Satoshi: We just finished watching Princess Mononoke.

Risa: good choice! wish I could’ve stayed longer to watch with you guys :(

Satoshi: You’re still welcome to join us on Sunday if you’d like.

Risa: i’ll see if i can! thanks for the invite, hiwatari-kun!”

Satoshi sat at his desk, focused on his phone. And when Risa no longer responded, he left his phone on his desk to charge before heading downstairs. Daisuke was still taking a shower, but Takeshi was in the kitchen making hot cocoa.

When Takeshi saw Satoshi, he pulled him into a hug.

“Bro, thank you for inviting Risa over on Sunday.”

…

The boys breezed through more of the Studio Ghibli catalogue, getting through Castle in the Sky, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, until they began to fall asleep while watching Porco Rosso. Takeshi leaned on Satoshi’s left shoulder, snoring at a tolerable volume and occasionally mumbling something in gibberish. Daisuke leaned on Satoshi’s right shoulder, cheek smushed into Satoshi’s upper arm while he hung onto Satoshi’s appendage like a sloth.

And Satoshi, enamored by the Studio Ghibli magic that gave life to a story about a pilot-turned-pig in the Adriatic Sea, watched on. And only when the credits began, with its calming music, did Satoshi join his friends.

…

Satoshi woke up to hear something sizzling on the stove. He rubbed his eyes awake before sitting up on the sofa. The blanket that covered him rolled off his chest as the cool air from the AC hit him, and he saw Takeshi and Daisuke in the kitchen.

(Inspector Saehara was not in the kitchen, but Satoshi picked out his snores from the room in the lulls of the sound of breakfast.)

When he finally came to, he joined the duo. He silently greeted them while he began to make coffee, filling up the kettle for some hot water.

Satoshi stood separated from the bustle in the kitchen, watching the kettle while Takeshi and Daisuke made small talk. Only when the kettle clicked did Satoshi move as he began to grind the coffee beans. He made enough coffee for Inspector Saehara to have his daily two cups and poured some out for the boys before joining them at the table.

“Dude, Satoshi’s coffee is to die for.”

Daisuke laughed before taking a sip. His face lit up, surprised, before he took another sip. “Wow, this is great! Thanks, Satoshi!”

He just nodded. Silent.

Even though he hadn’t said a word all morning, the guys didn’t force him to join their conversation. They let him be, just like he wanted, as he relished in this moment.

After they said their thanks, they dug into the breakfast. And while Satoshi silently ate, listening to Takeshi and Daisuke talk about the most menial of things, Satoshi genuinely wished that they could do this again.

…

Commissioner Hiwatari never took Satoshi out to shop for clothes. He would come home with items that somehow always fit but were always more fashionable than comfortable or practical. (And, if Satoshi had to be honest, he hated everything Commissioner Hiwatari bought him.)

Satoshi thought Takeshi would take him to a Uniqlo or SHIPS, but the trio found themselves in front of the department store.

“…with what money are we buying my clothes?” Satoshi asked, adjusting the tote slung over his shoulder.

“Ma said to charge it as a business expense.”

“…how?”

Takeshi shrugged before rolling up his sleeves. “Alright, fellas, we’ve got one job today, so let’s stay focused. No distractions!”

“Says the one who always gets distracted by the food and kitchen appliances,” Daisuke joked.

Takeshi glared before they walked in, politely turning down the makeup samples they could bring back to their “girlfriends” as they made their way to the escalator. Daisuke and Takeshi pulled their phones out as they ascended, but Satoshi looked down at the sprawling floor in awe. Everything shone, neatly displayed or folded, and he was too enthralled by the sight that he didn’t feel the pang of regret that often accompanied him finally experiencing something he should’ve long experienced as a child.

When they made it to the floor that housed the men’s section, mannequins dressed in sleek suits greeted them. Satoshi recognized those brands as the high-end ones that made up most of Commissioner Hiwatari’s closet, and Satoshi marched on to find something less expensive. He passed by some popular streetwear brands, only known to him because of Takeshi and Daisuke’s mild interest in fashion, until he finally found more subdued pieces of clothing that catered to his tastes.

“Satoshi, uh, that brand’s—”

Takeshi’s warning came too late. Satoshi looked at the tag, and the price bounced in his head. It was too damn expensive for a casual sweater, so much so that seeing that many numbers together physically hurt.

“Takeshi, this was a terrible idea.”

“Bro, you literally aren’t even trying right now.”

“But—” Satoshi gestured to the clothes surrounding them. “—there’s too much to look through. And they’re probably all pricey.”

Takeshi sighed. “Just ask someone to help you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Just go up to one of the attendants and ask them to help you. I’m sure they can find something for you.”

Satoshi just blinked, looking at Takeshi like he had said something in Russian. Takeshi returned Satoshi’s confused expression, and Daisuke laughed when he finally caught on.

“Are you too nervous to ask them for help?” Daisuke asked.

Satoshi Hiwatari, literal kid detective, college graduate at the tender age of fourteen, terrified to ask for help at the department store?

Absolutely.

Takeshi smirked, and Satoshi sighed, leaving the thoroughly entertained duo before asking one of the attendants for help. She directed him to a brand he wasn’t familiar with, but Satoshi liked the style and, most importantly, enjoyed the price point.

And after Satoshi tried on what he picked out, narrowing down the pile of clothes he brought with him to the fitting room, they paid before heading downstairs so Takeshi could fawn over the food. Satoshi followed him, wondering what samples he could taste, while Daisuke went off to grab something for Riku when he visited her during the holidays.

After stopping Takeshi from buying an extravagant set of chocolates, Satoshi spotted a familiar pink ribbon tying back brown locks. Lo and behold, Harada Risa was in her natural habitat at the department store, admiring the cases full of desserts while she carried a basket of impeccable looking strawberries in her hand. He ducked behind the closest fruit stand.

“Takeshi!” he harshly whispered.

“Ye?”

“Harada is here!”

Satoshi motioned towards the preoccupied girl, and Takeshi’s face lit up. What a serendipitous occasion for them to meet at the department store! But a familiar mop of red popped into his field of vision and was in the peripheries of a certain girl who would most definitely stop him were she to see him.

Thus, by virtue of the bro code, Rule Number 3 of this sleepover took precedent. But it also gave Takeshi a fantastic opportunity.

“I’ll distract her,” Takeshi whispered. “Get Daisuke out of here.”

“Where do we meet up?”

“Men’s section. We should be safe there.”

Satoshi nodded.

“Harada-chan!”

She turned around and greeted Takeshi. Satoshi couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but she saw Daisuke briskly walk towards him. He ducked behind the stand next to Satoshi, and they silently watched Takeshi lead her away for them to escape.

May his shot go well.

…

“So, what’s the real reason why you can’t be left alone with Harada?” Satoshi asked as the two of them sat down in the men’s section.

“Is Riku being jealous of her sister not a good enough reason?”

“I’m sure it’s part of the reason, but I feel like that’s not the whole thing.”

“Is that your detective instinct?”

“No. You’re just a little too obvious sometimes,” Satoshi said with a smile.

Daisuke sighed while Satoshi directed his attention to the passersby. A frantic woman passed by, quickly talking to someone on the phone in English.

“It’s just…Risa-chan has been a lot more clingy lately to the point that Riku’s starting to get annoyed with how much time I spend with her. And I’m having a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with Dark.”

“Like residual feelings of some sort?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what do with that.”

“Talk to her about it?”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why? Because you’re dating her sister?”

“Yeah. That’s one of the reasons, but I also don’t want to put her on the spot for it, especially if she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“Is that why you were a little too excited to hear about Takeshi’s feelings for her?”

“Yeah,” Daisuke sheepishly admitted. “It’s the easiest way to resolve it. A win-win situation for everyone involved.”

“That involves Harada returning his feelings.”

“There’s always a chance.”

“You’re holding onto a slim hope, then.”

Daisuke laughed. “Better to be optimistic, I always say.”

“Well, I’m sure there are other guys in our grade we could always…gently persuade to pursue Harada were she to turn down Takeshi’s feelings.”

His friend shook his head in disbelief that Satoshi even suggested such an idea while Satoshi laughed. If Takeshi couldn’t worm his way into Risa’s heart, no one else in their grade would be able to. Only a person with such outstanding confidence like Takeshi could handle Risa’s overwhelming personality.

Either that or…

That wasn’t a train of thought he was willing to entertain. Not now. And, hopefully, not ever.

Satoshi spotted Takeshi’s spiky hair in his peripheries as he rode up the escalator, shining with jubilee.

“Hello, men,” he greeted as the enthusiasm faded from his face. “What the hell have you two been talking about to make y’all look like death?”

“We’re bracing ourselves for the interrogation later by screening our answers,” Satoshi answered.

Takeshi glared at him.

…

“You did what?”

Mama Saehara’s voice boomed through the house. The boys just arrived, and they stood at the entrance, removing their shoes while trying to make as little noise as possible.

Satoshi had never heard her sound like that. Her voice always had a light and cheerful tone despite her powerful looks, yet she sounded exactly like he expected her to in that moment.

“It was an emergency!” Inspector Saehara retorted. “I know that he had plans an’ all, but—”

“But what? You think work is more important than what you made him miss?”

“Well—”

Mama Saehara screamed a flurry of French, and Inspector Saehara gasped before replying to whatever she just said in Japanese. Takeshi sighed as they bickered on.

“I’m sorry about this, y’all.”

“It’s fine,” Daisuke said. “My parents get like this sometimes, too. Even grandpa has his moments.”

Satoshi blinked. It sounded like Inspector Saehara and Mama Saehara were arguing over what happened yesterday, but he didn’t realize they would get so heated over something like that. Satoshi had completely gotten over being called to work when he woke up that morning, so he couldn’t empathize with them arguing about it.

“Is this normal?” Satoshi asked.

“Honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long to hear them like this, but I guess they’ve probably been holdin’ back because of you.”

Mama Saehara let out another exasperated string of words in French. Inspector Saehara demanded she repeat it in Japanese, taunting her, and she did without any hesitation. The boys gasped.

“I thought they got along,” Satoshi said.

“They do,” Takeshi said. “I mean, how else could they have been married for this long?”

“But—”

“This is normal!” Takeshi assured. “Besides, what family doesn’t argue?”

Daisuke nodded. Satoshi, however, decided he had had enough of the petty argument and marched into the kitchen to try to diffuse the situation.

Inspector Saehara sat at the table with his phone leaning against his mug. He looked up from the screen and balked at the sight of Satoshi before shooting him an awkward smile.

“Hey, Satoshi,” Inspector Saehara greeted. “How was yer trip to the department store?”

“Good.”

He expected Inspector Saehara to reply or for Mama Saehara to say something to him. She just grumbled something in French.

Inspector Saehara gasped.

“Have you no shame in cussin’ me out in a different language in front of our son?”

It was Satoshi’s turn to gasp. If only to lighten the situation.

Inspector Saehara cracked a smile.

…

Chips and beer in hand, Inspector Saehara retreated to the master bedroom. And, arms full of snacks, the boys retreated to Takeshi and Satoshi’s room upstairs. Satoshi sat at his desk, attempting to tidy his mess, while Takeshi and Daisuke sat on Takeshi’s bed, sharing an opened bag of chips.

“So…” Takeshi began.

“So…” Satoshi echoed.

Takeshi glared at Satoshi, and he smirked back. Daisuke laughed at his friend’s antics before munching on a handful of chips, cutting through the tension in the room.

“Tell us why you like Risa-chan,” Daisuke started.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Takeshi asked. “She’s adorable.”

“Then why’d you only start liking her recently?” Satoshi quipped.

“Hey, if you wanna take the floor, then you spill.”

“Do you want to cry?”

Both Daisuke and Takeshi looked at Satoshi, mortified, but he just laughed. Perhaps it was in bad taste to joke about what had happened to him, but Satoshi didn’t have any deep secrets or life problems to spill besides it.

Takeshi pouted. “You’re disqualified from speaking from here on out.”

Satoshi gave him a thumbs up with a smile. Takeshi returned it before he began to rock back and forth like a metronome.

“Honestly, I don’t really know, man,” Takeshi admitted. “After Harada-ane moved away and Harada-imouto started to hang out with us a lot more, I jus’ started to pay more attention to her an’ all. Next thing ya know, I’m daydreamin’ about her in class.”

Daisuke nodded while Satoshi blinked. He didn’t mind talks of romance when casually mentioned or joked about, but he felt uncomfortable hearing Takeshi talk about it so sincerely. He opened the box of matcha Pocky and hoped no one noticed him snacking on something he would never willingly choose.

“And I can’t help it even though I think she’s got her heart set on another guy.”

Satoshi bit the stick of Pocky in half. His eyes bounced from Daisuke and Takeshi, noting Takeshi’s growing impatience and Daisuke’s obvious awkwardness.

Takeshi’s keenness never failed to surprise Satoshi.

“She probably likes you, Daisuke.”

“What? No…”

“Bro, have you seen how she acts around you? Look, man, I know you’re dense, but you can’t be that obtuse.”

Daisuke glanced over at Satoshi, eyes begging for help. But Satoshi zipped his lips, keeping to Takeshi’s words from earlier. And, honestly, he wanted no part in this conversation at all.

“Daisuke, please, be honest with me. I promise I’ll try my best not to take it personally.”

He sighed. “…I know. I’ve known for a while now, but I don’t know if she knows. And even if she does know, I don’t think she wants to acknowledge it.”

“Does she like you because you’re you or because you were Dark Mousy’s host or something like that?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure most of her feelings are coming from her residual feelings for Dark, but Riku also just moved away. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started getting attached to me, to us, to fill the void of her sister.”

Takeshi groaned before grabbing his pillow and digging his head into it. “Unrequited feelings suck, man.”

Daisuke nodded while Satoshi bobbed his head in reflex. He remembered the pang he felt when he realized how important Risa was to him despite knowing how she felt for Dark. His burgeoning feelings, no matter how fleeting, still haunted his mind. Somehow, someway, Risa always crawled into his life uninvited.

Unlike Takeshi, however, he couldn’t welcome any of those feelings he had for her.

Luckily, his friends didn’t notice his absent-minded expression as he stared at nothing in particular and precariously balanced the stick of Pocky in his mouth. When he came back to the conversation, Takeshi had a devilish smile on his face while he nudged a red-faced Daisuke with his elbow.

“Come on, you can tell us how far you’ve gone with Harada-ane!”

“Absolutely not!”

…

Satoshi woke up.

Daisuke and Takeshi were still asleep. And he was about to fall back asleep considering how late the trio had stayed up, but he saw slivers of light blue filtering through the blinds and the lethargic haze clouding his mind cleared up despite the sleep deprivation.

He sent Takeshi and Inspector Saehara a message saying he’d be out just in case they woke up while he was gone and, phone in hand, he left the house to grab breakfast for everyone. There was a coffeeshop by the police station he was partial to, and he didn’t mind taking the slight commute to get there.

Satoshi rarely found himself this alert so early in the morning, but he enjoyed the calm stillness of Azumano at dawn. If he began to consistently wake up at this time, he wouldn’t mind adding a morning walk to his daily routine.

He didn’t think the coffeeshop would be so busy on a Sunday morning, yet he saw a large group huddled around the register when he arrived. Satoshi noted how young they looked and wondered why a group of teens would be willingly awake this early on a Sunday until he saw Ritsuko intently looking at a tablet in her hands.

He went up to her. “Robotics competition?”

She turned towards him, initially shocked to see him there, but a smile quickly settled onto her face. “Yeah. It’s just an invitational, but we’re hoping to win something at least.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks!” she said. “How’s your sleepover going so far?”

“Fun.”

She smirked. “Did you actually fall asleep last night?”

“Yeah. And I woke up early.”

“Unfortunately?”

“Fortunately. I’m sort of starting to like mornings.”

She laughed. “Well, I wish you the best of luck on your transition to become an early bird.”

The barista called their order, and the group swarmed around the counter. Ritsuko stood up and slipped the tablet into her bag.

“Sorry to cut this short, but we’ve got to head out now. See you around?”

“Of course. Kick their asses.”

Ritsuko blinked, taken aback by Satoshi’s choice of words before letting out a hearty laugh. “Saehara-kun really has rubbed off on you.”

After Ritsuko left with her club, Satoshi ordered. He waited at a table by the counter, enjoying the ambiance and the light muzak as he skimmed through the news on his phone.

After they called his name, he ambled home with the food and drinks in hand, watching Azumano wake up with every step he took. As the sun continued to rise and the sorbet-colored sky turned its usual hue of blue, he saw stores open, joggers zoom by him, and the occasional group of elderly women briskly walk past him. Everything felt different from the lunchtime hustle, the evening rush, like a car engine humming to life instead of zooming down the highway.

He really could get used to this.

When he returned home, the house was still. He began to unpack the food from the bags when he heard heavy footsteps barrel downstairs. Satoshi froze in place, and the sight of Takeshi coming into the kitchen couldn’t shake off the fear.

“Bro, Harada-imouto’s coming over around lunchtime later!”

“Cool.”

“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“You, um, scared me. With the loud noises and all.”

“Aw shit, fam. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Takeshi then noticed the food that Satoshi brought. He began to open the containers in excitement until he found an order he knew belonged to him. His face lit up before opening his arms. A proud grin eclipsed his face.

“Come here, brotha!”

“Too early. Hard pass…brotha.”

…

The boys (and Inspector Saehara) sat at the dining table, stiff from anticipation for Risa’s arrival. Inspector Saehara learned about his son’s feelings for the Saehara household guest after asking why the hell his son was making that much racket so damn early in the morning and, fully supporting his son’s infatuations, helped the boys clean up and splurge on some food from that fancy place he knew the Harada family frequented.

His boy’s gotta make a good impression somehow.

So, when they heard the doorbell ring, exactly at noon, they looked at Takeshi, begging him to let her in. They held their breath, pitying the lovesick fool when they heard his usual, confident babbling turn clumsy as he stumbled over his words. But when they heard the door close and saw Risa walk in, wearing a t-shirt dress that definitely leaned towards a casual ensemble for a day with friends than an outfit to catch a boy’s attention, they cautiously glanced at Takeshi to see his perception on Risa’s uncharacteristic fashion choice.

The boy was too ecstatic at her company that he was blind to her obvious message about how she truly felt about this.

Was this a success? Or a failure? They couldn’t tell.

“So,” Risa began. “what’s the plan?”

…

Risa insisted on starting with Whisper of the Heart.

Satoshi expected it have that whimsical fantasy that permeated the films he watched the evening before, but it didn’t. It had the whimsy, for sure, but he couldn’t connect with the realism of the film. So, while Risa, Daisuke, and Takeshi waxed poetic about the youthful vigor in the couple’s ending, the sentiment was lost on him, and he dismissed himself on the kitchen to “grab a snack” while the trio argued over what to watch next.

He stood next to Inspector Saehara who sat at the table that allowed for prime viewing of his son’s adolescence. He had a laptop in front of him, with Mama Saehara on the screen, and Satoshi waved to her. She didn’t notice since she seemed preoccupied with something else on her end.

“I didn’t realize you were in a call with her.”

“She’s just here to get real-time updates on Takeshi crushing over the Harada kid. We’re not actually having a conversation.”

“Because of what happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean what—” Inspector Saehara didn’t finish his sentence. He just began to laugh. “Oh, that? That’s nothing.”

“Nothing? But…”

“It happens all the time. Me an’ Ma are always arguin’ over somethin’. It happens with those yer close to, yanno?”

No, Satoshi didn’t know. The bemused expression on his face said everything, and Inspector Saehara guffawed.

“It’ll happen one day whether you’ll like it or not. Just don’t hate us when it happens, alright?”

Takeshi came in. “Bro, we’re starting My Neighbor Totoro! Hurry up!”

Satoshi nodded, following Takeshi back to the living room without any resolution to his conversation with Inspector Saehara.

He sat down in the recliner, distant from the trio on the couch. Risa was wedged between Daisuke and Takeshi, dangerously close to crossing the threshold of Daisuke’s personal space. The former was dangerously close to rolling off the couch over the armrest; the latter was dangerously close to crossing the threshold of Risa’s personal space. As an outsider looking in, the teens spelled out their emotions so plainly that it only hurt to watch.

Satoshi envied them. Of that innocence that allowed them to feel the emotions that come and go. To allow themselves to get caught up in a tempest of their feelings without worrying about how far-reaching the consequences would be.

The chipper tune of the movie’s opening brough his attention back to the TV. And while those on the couch sung along, he just nodded to the beat, unable to fight the smile threatening his face.

…

After the movie ended, to everyone’s dismay, Satoshi ducked into the restroom. When he returned to the living room, only Risa was there, lying down on the couch as she busied herself with her phone.

Clearly, this situation was in violation of Rule Number 2 of the sleepover code, but it seemed like there was nothing he could do to amend the broken rule.

“Where’d they go?” Satoshi cautiously asked.

“Daisuke’s parents called him during the movie, so he’s returning their call right now. And Saehara-san and Takeshi-kun stepped out to grab dinner.”

“So, your parents are letting you stay until then?”

“Yup! So we can squeeze in two more movies before I have to head back!”

“Which movies?”

“The Wind Rises and Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Do they have romance in them?”

Risa winked. “Of course!”

Satoshi rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand your obsession with romance.”

“You don’t have to, but just know that you’re missing out on a fantastic genre.”

Satoshi shook his head, and she just giggled. “Maybe you’ll change your mind when you actually fall in love with someone.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“I wouldn’t end your sentence so quickly,” she sang.

“Perhaps, but I still think you’re slightly delusional.”

“But who isn’t slightly delusional when it comes to love?”

Satoshi wondered what possessed her to say that. And, when she met his gaze, he didn’t expect to see that earnest expression on her face. The Risa in front of him was no longer the adolescent girl who lived up the stereotype. This was the Risa trying to expand her horizons, to learn what lay beyond her perception of the world: the Risa that terrified him.

“Do you think I’ve lost it?” she asked in a whisper. “Being hung up over a ghost of a feeling? Of a person I can’t clearly recall in my memories? At the fact that you can’t fill the hole they left not matter how much you tell me about them?”

Satoshi hated this. He hated how easily Risa managed to skirt the edge of his comfort zone. She was precise enough to get her point across yet vague enough that it felt rude for him to strike that boundary. Not without him risking sounding like an asshole.

Not without him allowing her to cross a boundary he wasn’t ready for anyone, let alone her, to cross.

He began to formulate the words in his mind to say that he couldn’t answer that question, that he felt uncomfortable even being in the position of receiving her inquiries. Satoshi had to brace himself for her disappointment at him pulling away, but Daisuke came down before Satoshi followed through with the decision his mind was heading to.

“So, what’re we watching next?” Daisuke asked.

Satoshi nearly wept from the timing.

…

Sunday passed without any more drama. After they finished the movies Risa wanted to watch, she left without much fanfare, and the boys went through as much of the Studio Ghibli filmography as they could before they passed out.

Satoshi, however, woke up that Monday morning in a cold sweat with a splitting headache. So, while Takeshi and Daisuke left to pick up Grandpa Daiki from the train station, Satoshi floated in and out of consciousness while a familiar, winged Phantom Thief haunted his dreams.

[douwatahima]

Turns out I have some more feelings about the manga I finished yesterday. Not naming it so this doesn’t end up in the tags. Please don’t read this, lol. The fourteen year old version of me jumped out.

I think the thing that bugged me most about this last stretch of DN Angel is how much it felt like Yukiru Sugisaki was just...done with the whole thing. Like everything felt very rushed towards a specific, easy conclusion that didn't address a lot of the interesting pieces she had previously laid down.

Like, I remember reading those last few chapters before the eight year long hiatus and HOLY SHIT there was so much! The Dark/Risa relationship all of a sudden becomes an actual threat, not just to Daisuke/Riku, but to Daisuke himself! Satoshi completely lets his guard down around Daisuke, trusting that the person he loves will make this huge sacrifice for him, and when Daisuke refuses he POINTS A GUN TO HIS OWN HEAD. AND THEN WHEN HE GETS CAUGHT HE GOES OFF INTO THE FOREST WITH. THE. GUN!!! AND THEN!!!! RIKU FINDS OUT DAISUKE IS DARK!!!!!!!! IT'S WILD AS FUCK!!!!!!!!

And then we come back and a lot of this is immediately dealt with in a comedic fashion and we just move on. Dark and Daisuke don't talk about that Risa interaction. No one goes after Satoshi. Daisuke comes up with some excuse and Riku is satiated for now.

Then we got the whole dream circus arc. Which was honestly alright. I enjoyed Daisuke coming to terms with the fact that he cannot separate himself from Dark. They are one and the same, for better or worse. And honestly, at first I thought this arc was going to lead us somewhere interesting. Because if Daisuke and Dark now understand that they are a package deal, how do they deal with the whole Riku and Risa thing???? (The answer is they basically don't but I'll get there). I was 100% ready to love this arc and then they did...the thing and I...

Okay, look. Full disclosure, I've been a DN Angel fan since I was like, fourteen. It is linked to me in a way that can only happen when you're obsessed with something at the height of your awkward teen years. And the thing that continues to be my favourite part of the whole story is the relationship between Satoshi and Daisuke. They were my number one ship, not just at fourteen, but...honestly probably through all of my teen years. Like, remember when people used to make jokes on this website about someone asking about your otp and you pull out your binder of reasons? I literally made a Satodai binder. That's not a joke. They were it for me.

And, don't get me wrong, there was never a point where I honestly thought the manga was gonna have Daisuke leave Riku and end up with Satoshi. I dreamed about it, but didn't honestly expect it. BUT I loved the way the manga addressed Satoshi's feelings for Daisuke. This is someone who Satoshi treasures above all others. The person who makes him believe the world can be better. The person he would do ANYTHING for. Like, Satoshi LOVES him.

Which is why it's so frustrating to me that Yukiru Sugisaki decided it would be better for Satoshi to have a two second dream about Risa that changes all of his feelings instantaneously. Like, I'm not here to shit on Satoshi/Risa fans, and I'm happy y'all got your ship. Honestly. But, the two of them have barely spoken before this and then Satoshi has a dream and literally says, "oh I guess my feelings have changed now" like...two volumes before the end! AND THEN THEY DON'T EVEN TALK UNTIL THE VERY END OF THE SERIES. FOR WHAT????

It honestly just read to me as, the mangaka wanted to end the series and Satoshi continuing to be into Daisuke was too emotionally complicated to quickly wrap up so he loves Risa now. And hey, that clears up the whole Dark/Risa thing, right? I'll get to that.

ANYWAY, so then we jump into an elongated story about some past Niwa/Hikari drama which would've been fun if I hadn't been growing more and more confused as I noticed how few chapters were left and we were STILL ON THIS. Like, I love when DN Angel gives us fun new characters to talk about. Hell, the Freedert arc and the Argentine arc are two of my favourites. But, when you only have a limited amount of time...It just felt like this was something Yukiru Sugisaki was maybe sitting on for awhile so she didn't want to skip it, but she also wanted to finish the story as soon as possible so the ending comes IMMEDIATELY after which makes this whole arc feel...weird. Like...we could've spent our last few chapters on the characters we know and love but...instead...

Then we get to the endgame. So, quick poll, do we think the mangaka already had this ending in mind before the anime came out or do we think she decided to do the anime ending because she had no idea how to finish the story. I'm really not sure, but either way it felt soooo anticlimactic given that we've had the anime ending for almost 20 years. Like...what was I waiting around for if you were just gonna do the same thing????? And look, I honestly never finished the anime because I couldn't stand the way they chose to characterize some of my favourite characters (most notably Satoshi and Risa) and I'd read what the ending was and hated it lol. But I digress.

The thing about the ending that gets me most is that it all comes on so fast. Like, you wanna do the anime ending? Okay. Don't love the idea, but okay. BUT it all happens in like... 2-3 chapters. Like, all of a sudden the Black Wings is sucking up power from the artwork and, oh no, here comes Krad ready wreck shop. And then we, randomly at THE END OF THE MANGA find out Satoshi's adopted Dad is actually his real Dad and also he's a piece of artwork which makes Satoshi half a piece of artwork???? Why are you telling us this now???? Then Satoshi and Daisuke seal Dark and Krad into the Black Wings the end. Like...????? That's it?????

OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE HARADA TWINS ARE MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. HONESTLY PROBABLY BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE YUKIRU SUGISAKI FORGOT TOO SINCE THERE'S NO CLOSURE ON THAT?????? (Honestly, I'm laughing because I literally forgot about this fact until just now. AGAIN WHAT WAS THE REASON LMAO!!!)

Okay, so the story's done but where does it leave our favourite characters???

Daisuke and Riku have figured their shit out and are...presumably going to do long distance??? Idk, they never really address whether they're staying together or not as far as I can remember???? Like, this is the relationship I thought we would get the most closure on but ?????????

Risa just gets to be sad for awhile I guess. It's honestly so infuriating to me that we got this awesome moment before the hiatus where Dark asked Risa if she would love him no matter what and she says yes with her WHOLE CHEST and that's enough for Dark to almost, like, take over Daisuke's body permanently. Like, her love for Dark is as real as Riku's love for Daisuke but she's not allowed to have a happy ending like her sister. She gets to see Dark one last time where he kisses her and hopes she'll always be his best girl and then he flies off into the night while she begs him not to leave. Then, she gets to cry in the street, trying to remember him while everyone else is forgetting. Well, at least she has Satoshi, right????

But like, we don't even know if she likes Satoshi that way. There's been...no indication that she does as far as I know. And as he's hugging her, Satoshi is having these thoughts hoping she'll be able to remember Dark because he knows how meaningful he is to her. So their ending is LITERALLY Risa gets to be horribly heartbroken and Satoshi gets to pine for someone else who, at this point, doesn't love him back.

Like, once again not to shit on Satoshi/Risa fans but...is this the ending y'all wanted????? Because as someone who stans them both this just felt horrible. It reads as a feeble attempt to "pair the spares" (since in the story the mangaka wanted to tell, neither of them could be with who they originally loved) but, like, even then this is the saddest way to do that. OH! And once again, if Risa is moving, ARE THEY EVEN GOING TO BE TOGETHER????? Like, what are we supposed to get from this what is the REASON??????

And then there's Dark and Krad being stuck in the Black Wings for eternity. The biggest reason I didn't like this ending in the anime. Like, look. I get that you have to end your manga somehow. BUT if your plan was to reunite Dark and Krad in this way I don't understand why you would write a whole interaction, mere chapters before, having Dark say that that's the LAST thing he wants to do. HE SAYS THAT THEY AREN'T THE SAME ANYMORE AND THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO RETURN TO HIM. AND THEN HE'S FORCED TO DO JUST THAT. FOR. WHAT?????

Like, Dark isn't a villain. He's one of our main protagonists and has been this whole time. I get that in stories sometimes characters have sad endings. (I've already argued that I think both Satoshi and Risa's endings were bittersweet at best). But to have Dark say mere chapters before it happens that he categorically DOES NOT want to rejoin Krad and then force him to do just that feels like such a needlessly cruel thing to do to this character we're meant to love.

Once again, it just felt so much like Yukiru Sugisaki wanted to end the series as quickly as possible. I get her wanting to come back to it; she's kinda notorious for not finishing things so I get the impulse to just drive through and get at least one story done. But, it felt like so many things were skipped over or changed just because it made getting to the end goal easier and less complicated. Not addressing some of the cool shit she laid down before the hiatus, completely morphing Satoshi's feelings in a dream, writing off Risa's feelings for Dark, telling us all of the Satoshi backstory stuff at the last goddamn minute, giving Dark his worst nightmare as an ending, so many of these things done just to move things along towards a specific end goal as fast as possible.

Honestly, there's a part of me that wishes she hadn't come back and finished it at all. I was happy enough with the ending I had written in my head and would've preferred it to what we ended up getting ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway, to anyone who actually read this (and a part of me hopes no one does lmao) thanks for listening to me ramble. And if you're a Satoshi/Risa fan, uh, sorry I hated on your ship lol. You're cool.

[fuckyeahkosukeniwa]

Cards: Knight of Cups | Page of Wands | The Emperor

“You know the feeling, right? Like reaching into a bag and seeing all the snacks are gone faster than you thought.” With kyuu’d in response to whatever attention the speaker was currently giving him. “Or when you climb stairs, and your foot falls hard because there isn’t another step at the top.”

Kosuke nodded before realizing she couldn’t see him in the kitchen.

“Yes, I get that too sometimes,” he spoke loud enough for his voice to carry to the sitting room. Kosuke looped his fingers through the handles of both steaming mugs and walked slowly through the open doorway.

She stayed seated on the sofa, wiping her eyes swiftly, and he pretended not to notice.

“It’s the worst when I look at Niwa-kun... Sorry.” She reached towards the starry red mug he offered, leaving the drab green one for himself. One hand rested it on her knees, somehow unbothered by the heat. “And thanks.”

“It’s nothing,” he softly replied and sat on the armchair opposite her. A low table stood between them. 

There were words on the tip of his tongue. Things he knew at one time and wanted to tell her. He shook his head, wishing they would dislodge and be spoken once and for all. All he knew was some unwritten fairytale, like the ones he’d once pursued around the world. But it wasn’t in any of the Niwa library’s books; he’d checked. 

It was the tale of an eternal, broken monster who grew into something more with the love of a determined, passionate young woman.

“When I look at Daisuke,” Kosuke said instead, meeting her shiny brown eyes with his own, clouded by memories, “it’s the opposite. I feel like something has finally ended. I feel... accomplished.”

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“That’s an arrogant thing for a father to say,” he conceded with a wince. “He only just started high school.” 

And Kosuke hadn’t been home long enough to contribute much to his son’s life.

The usual dull ache of lost time returned often enough, but.... But he couldn’t bring himself to regret that he’d left his family for the pursuit of knowledge. Couldn’t justify it either. No one blamed him. It just was.

A lot of things just were these days.

Wistfulness clung to every surface in the Niwa home. Its inhabitants as well. As if they were waiting for certain persons to walk through the door or crash on the couch or run down the stairs and shout “I’m back!” And then the family would be whole again.

It’s not like With hadn’t done it a couple days ago.

Kosuke stared at the sleeping white rabbit in his guest’s lap, wondering where the family pet had run off to for nearly two months. Remembering how hard Daisuke had cried as he hugged him.

“He doesn’t remind you of... anyone else?”

“He does,” Kosuke responded quickly. He and his guest weren’t the only ones either, from what his wife had shared. “He’s still Daisuke, through and through, but when I look at him, I also see...”

The words dissolved on his tongue again.

Who did he see?

Risa sipped her hot chocolate, her shoulder-length brown hair curtaining her face. She’d visited the Niwa home many times, along with Takeshi and Satoshi. They made a strange crew. Their usual study nights didn’t have many dull moments. Loud bickering met with deadpan responses and Daisuke's attempts at peacemaker. Not even closed doors could keep out the worst of it.

These kids too seemed to bear that burden of wondering and waiting that had infected the Niwa family. Some invisible thread knotted and tangled them together. Kosuke could remember a time before this bittersweet emptiness sank into his heart, but he couldn’t remember what had changed.

Still, Daisuke and his friends carried on ahead towards their wide open futures. Children were strong like that.

“I miss Niwa-kun when he’s not around,” she said before jerking her head up, eyes blazing. “Not like Riku does, of course! He’s my friend.”

The adult waved his hand with placating amusement.

“But when Niwa-kun is around, then I miss someone else instead,” she finished, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, which immediately escaped after.

“Don’t you think that’s weird?” She looked at the sleeping With in her lap, her hand tangling in his soft white fur, making him stretch and curl up again.

“Not in the slightest,” he took a swig of hot tea, following the burn down his throat. In his mind, he could see Emiko carefully folding dark fabrics with shiny buckles. Daiki sitting outside, silently looking up at the stars. Daisuke covering canvases with black and purple painted feathers. With roaming the halls, calling out to the shadows. “I think it’s very normal.”

She nodded, more thoughtful than comforted.

Voices carried down the hall with the sound of a door slamming shut. 

“Oi, Harada! You still here?” 

“You guys took your sweet time! How long does it take to pick up a few ingredients?” She shouted over her shoulder, jolting With awake at the sudden raise in volume. 

“A few!?” That and other grumbles grew louder as the group approached.

Putting down her half-finished mug, both her hands then petted the rabbit extra tenderly, sending the adult across from her an apologetic smile as well. Kosuke shook his head and chuckled. He lived with Emiko. This was nothing. 

The boys trudged through the sitting room, nearly buried in shopping bags. A cabbage rolled out from one of the dozen vegetable bags Takeshi had hung on his straining arms as he shouted, “Cooking 102 has begun!”

Daisuke kicked the vegetable up with a nudge of his foot and caught it in the crook of his elbow, fast as ever despite his hands completely filled with packages of noodles and sauces.

Satoshi trailed behind, his face neutral and relaxed under the weight of food trying to drag his thin frame down onto the carpet.

“Thanks for listening, Niwa-san. I promise I won’t melt any more spoons!” Risa waved and trotted ahead of the boys into the kitchen as the friendly bickering started anew.

He took another sip of tea and sank deeper onto the soft armchair, wondering and waiting for something he wouldn't find. Risa was strong. She would be fine.

[luanna801]

Rating the Fashion in D.N.Angel Art (Pt. 1)

(Because this meme is fun, and these looks deserve to be appreciated. Or in some cases mocked. :-P)

A nice, comforting place to start off the list. This striped hoodie is adorable, and very much in-keeping with Daisuke’s canon sense of style. The blue at the neck of his shirt provides a little contrast while still keeping it simple. He looks cute, wholesome, approachable. Exactly how I like my Daisuke. His cuteness is apparently so intense that he radiates little stars. Valid.

10/10 Classic boy-next-door charm.

This totally looks like a boyband album cover, but in a way that’s working for me, I’m not gonna lie. I like how they’re coordinated in their all-white outfits but the looks are still individual. Dark’s jacket is very cute, as is Daisuke’s in a more relaxed way. I like the little wing detail on the back of Satoshi’s shirt. Honestly my only criticism of this is why Satoshi looks like something splattered in his eye.

9/10 BACKSTREET’S BACK ALRIGGGGGHT

I thought I should include at least one piece that gives you a good look at the school uniforms. They’re very cute! The red-and-white color scheme is nice. (It was thoughtful of the school to match their uniforms to the protagonist’s coloring.) Those little cropped jackets on the girls’ uniform are very cute, and I like the detailing on the collars too.

9/10 Stylishly preppy without being too much.

I don’t actually think this look is objectively good. The arm-warmers look like random pieces of fabric that he tied in place with string. The shirt looks less “artfully ripped” and more like it’s being eaten away by acid. But none of that actually matters, because he is SELLING it. Look at the absolute confidence in those eyes. That look says “Maybe my shirt is disintegrating, because it JUST CAN’T HANDLE BEING THIS CLOSE TO MY BODY.” What he’s wearing is actually irrelevant. He looks absolutely badass.

10/10 FIERCE. Tyra Banks would approve.

It’s hard to put my finger on what exactly isn’t working about this. Riku’s shirt feels like it would be more in-keeping with her style if it didn’t have the lacing up the front. Risa kinda looks like she’s wearing a lacy nightgown with gloves. Neither of these looks is terrible, but I’m just not really feeling it. I feel like Sugisaki was maybe still figuring out Riku and Risa’s styles when she drew this.

6.5/10 Room for improvement.

A mixed bag! Daisuke might be wearing The Jacket(TM), although the coloring is different than when Sugisaki colored The Jacket(TM) later. In any case, he looks great. The combination of the black jacket with the red/white/black plaid trim looks very crisp and classic. Satoshi, on the other hand, looks low-key like a sleazy casino owner. The high collar/huge houndstooth print/necklace(?) combination is just too much. 

5/10 Even my love for Satoshi cannot make that look work.

CUUUUTE. This is giving me very Bertie Wooster vibes, for some reason. He looks like the spoiled but good-natured heir to a fortune whose butler keeps needing to get him out of shenanigans. I would be down for this AU.

8.5/10 Fingers crossed for a Black Butler crossover.

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE. I’m not actually sure I have words to do justice to how bad this is. It just looks like random pieces of fabric thrown together haphazardly. The little metal thingies make no sense. The orange-and-gold color scheme is garish. Nothing about this looks good, but beyond that, nothing about it even makes sense. This is the nadir of D.N.Angel fashion. For my sanity I’m going to hope it’s referencing some series I’m not familiar with.

-10/10 WTF.

An excellent palate-cleanser! I think the fact that they’re sharing a scarf is adorable. Riku’s whole look here is perfection to me - the way the red roses on her sleeves coordinate with her red gloves is VERY stylish, and those cute buttons at the wrists? Fantastic. Daisuke’s shirt seems nice, though I can’t for the life of me figure out what it says. Points for having a shared color scheme, although the fact that his shirt is white and hers is cream does clash a bit, arguably.

9.5/10 Overall, a great example of couple dressing done right.

THE JACKET(TM)!!!!!!! You can’t actually see that much of what he’s wearing (although the art itself is gorgeous), but I am incapable of being objective about this. Seeing this just reminds me of how much I adore these scenes, and this arc as a whole. Also the word bubble here is literally Satoshi talking about how he’s dying, and that is not remotely okay. Someone hug him, please.

1000/10 FEELS.

[satorisa]

Falling: Chapter 1 - In which the Hug is Finally Acknowledged

Rating: T

Summary:  "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."

Alternate Reading: AO3

Lift the Veil? I don’t know her.

D.N.Angel ending? I don’t know her.

But that hug? Lives, rent free in my mind, man.

Warning: Spoilers for the DNAngel ending abound.

After Dark disappeared, the hours continued to flow as if the incident had never occurred. Satoshi brought Risa home that evening before he visited the Niwa household to brainstorm a story for Commissioner Hiwatari’s disappearance. Daisuke slept next to him that night and, while comforted by his friend’s rhythmic breathing and familiar warmth, Satoshi kept his tired eyes on the window, watching as the evening skies brightened to a morning blue.

Commissioner Hiwatari was declared missing the next day, and Inspector Saehara decided to take Satoshi in for the time being. He moved into the Saehara household that same evening, everything he owned packed in a duffel bag weighing on his shoulder, and Takeshi showed him around the house.

Satoshi met Mama Saehara through a video call that same evening. She worked as a fashion designer, and her job had flung her off to Paris this time. He quite liked her.

After they hung up, he had a warm dinner with Takeshi and Inspector Saehara. It was leftovers from last night, but he enjoyed the food nonetheless.

That night, Satoshi slept next to Takeshi, who snored in his ear while either kicking him or rolling on him. Satoshi kept his tired eyes on the window, watching as the evening skies brightened to a morning blue.

He went shopping with the Saeharas the next day. They bought a bunk bed, a desk, and whatever else they thought that Satoshi would need. After that, the days fell back into their familiar rhythm as if the incident had never occurred.

Satoshi slept in the top bed for privacy. Takeshi took the bottom bed since he didn’t quite care. Their desks sat side by side in front of the window: Takeshi’s impeccably spotless and Satoshi’s covered in manila folders and schoolwork.

Everyday, Satoshi woke up, went to school, and attended the art club that Daisuke finally convinced him to join. On some evenings, Inspector Saehara would ask him for help on a case, and they always headed home after work with fried chicken for dinner. For the most part though, Satoshi spent his time after school with Daisuke and Takeshi.

Then Riku moved away.

Risa began to hang out with Daisuke and Takeshi just as much as she hung out with Ritsuko and the other girls, but she still maintained the same distance she had with Satoshi prior to the incident. She’d greet him, cordial and courteous, and she’d smile and laugh with the boys, just like him, but that was the extent of their relationship: friends of friends.

And that was how Satoshi’s second year in middle school came to an end.

…

The last of the art club members finally left. They were a group of giggling girls who clearly only joined to get closer to Satoshi but, after realizing that he wouldn’t pay any attention to them yet again, they decided to call it a day.

Satoshi sighed in relief when the door closed behind them and ran his hand through his hair. Daisuke, president of the art club, laughed at the strands that were sticking up.

“How long are you going to let them stay here?” Satoshi asked, watching the group walk and giggle down below.

“They’ll get tired eventually.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Just wait. They’ll eventually realize how boring you are and set their eyes on someone else.”

Satoshi shot Daisuke a look. He laughed before slipping off his stool.

“So what did you want to talk about?”

“My painting.”

Daisuke, eyes shining with curiosity, scurried over to Satoshi’s canvas. His jaw slacked.

Before him was the familiar visage of Dark outlined in pencil. The sharp angle of his eyes, his chiseled features, his charismatic smile, and his dark hair flowing around him: everything was detailed to utmost perfection.

“Oh my god.”

“How is it?”

“It looks just like him.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Daisuke nodded, awestruck, but that eventually gave way to a darker expression on his face. “…why are you doing this, though?”

Satoshi shrugged. “I don’t know. Still life practice got boring, so I decided to try doing something different.”

“You could have done something else besides starting on a portrait of Dark.”

“I know, but this is what I ended up making.”

“…are you okay?”

“That’s a rhetorical question.”

Daisuke sighed. “It’s just—we’re worried about you, Satoshi. We don’t want you to hurt yourself, you know? If you’re not ready to face it, you don’t have to.”

“What? Would a portrait of my father have been better?”

“No, Satoshi, I—”

“Sorry,” Satoshi said before getting off his stool. He grabbed his bag and made his way to the door. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” At the entrance, he turned around to face Daisuke. “But when the hell am I going to ever be ready?”

…

The sun began to set, casting its golden hue on the busts and wooden stands by the wall. Since Inspector Saehara didn’t need his help that evening, Satoshi stayed after the club meeting to work on his painting. A palette full of varying hues of purple floated gracefully in his left hand while a worn brush sat precariously in his right, waiting to lay down another thoughtful stroke.

The door opened.

“Hello, Hiwatari-kun!”

He tore his eyes away from the canvas to see Risa standing there. She no longer had her customary pink ribbon tying her hair up; her dark locks cascaded down just like Riku’s. If she trimmed some off, she’d be the spitting image of her sister.

Perhaps that was why she changed her hairstyle.

“Are you heading home soon?”

He glanced at his watch: 6:04 PM.

“Maybe.” Satoshi noted the bag slung over her shoulder. “I’m assuming you’re on your way back?”

“Yeah.” She frowned. “Saehara-kun kept us all late today because our monthly issue is coming out. What a workaholic.”

Satoshi smirked. “Like father, like son.”

“His dad’s just like that?”

“Absolutely. His mom’s the same way, too, so it probably runs in the family.”

Risa giggled. The door opened again, and it was the man of the hour himself. He pouted.

“I’m not as bad as my parents.”

“Sure,” Satoshi sarcastically drawled.

Takeshi just shook his head. “Whatever, bro. You headin’ back soon?”

“Maybe. Don’t wait for me if you need to head out.”

“Nah. I kinda want to hit up the arcade for a bit before we go grocery shopping.”

“Can we drop by the bookstore, too? I need to grab a couple of things.”

“Yeah. I think I need some stuff from there, too.” Takeshi then turned to Risa. “You wanna stick around with us, then? No hard feelings if you need to jet, though.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll pass. I don’t want to stay out too late and worry my parents.” She waved with a smile. “I’ll see you two tomorrow then. Bye!”

Risa skipped out of the room while Takeshi walked over to examine Satoshi’s painting. He whistled.

“Yanno, you’re a little too talented for someone who doesn’t like painting.”

“Shut up. You know how I feel about it.”

“And yet you joined the art club.”

“I have to start somewhere with that positive reassociation and all.”

“And how’s that goin’ for ya?”

“Terrible. I’m hating every second of it.”

“Well, uh, nobody asked you to make a painting of that Dark Mousy fellow, yanno?”

“Couldn’t help it. His handsome face kept bothering me.”

…

Mama Saehara popped up on his phone screen with the Parisian skyline behind her.

“Good evening, Satoshi.”

“Good morning, Saehara-san.”

“No need to be so formal with me! Please, call me Mama.”

“I’d rather not.”

She laughed. “Alrighty, hun. How’re you doing?”

“I’m alright.”

“And the therapy? Have you decided to go?”

“No. I don’t think I can.”

“That’s alright. You’re doing alright. No need to push yourself if you’re not ready.” She sighed. “I just need this project to finish and then I’ll take the first flight I can back to Japan. Just wait for me, okay?”

“No need to rush. Take all the time you need.”

“Oh honey, I appreciate the thought, but I don’t know if I trust those buffoons to take care of you. Speaking of them, how are they treating you?”

“They’re very nice. I like living here, Saehara-san. Thank you for taking me in.”

“I’m glad, Satoshi. And you’re very welcome! It’s the least we could do, truly.”

Her phone rang. Mama Saehara answered before launching into a furious tirade of French. After she hung up, she sighed and began to massage her temples.

“Sorry to cut this call short, but there’s an emergency. I’ll call again as soon as I can. Toodles!”

“Bye. Have a nice day.”

Satoshi saw himself reflected on his phone screen, and he took out his earbuds before leaving the room. He went downstairs to see Inspector Saehara at the table, can of beer open in front of him, while Takeshi began plating the food.

“How’s Ma?” Takeshi asked.

“Alright. Busy,” Satoshi answered. He grabbed some plates and bowls from the cabinets.

“Sound about right,” Takeshi said. “And you?”

“Hm?”

“How’re you?”

“Alright. Tired.”

Takeshi smirked. “Who isn’t?”

He patted Satoshi’s back before putting the plates full of table and hounding his dad about drinking: just another meal at the Saehara household.

Satoshi smiled as he began to set the table.

…

After the club meeting, Satoshi stayed behind to work on his painting, unrestrained by a request from Inspector Saehara. He mindlessly toiled away until the door opened.

“Hi, Hiwatari-kun!”

Risa’s voice broke his focus. Golden hour had passed and the blue hour settled in, dying the room a muted blue. Even Risa, despite her chipper demeanor, seamlessly blended in with the mood.

“Hey, Harada. Did the newspaper club meeting just finish?”

“Nope. It ended a while ago, but I stayed back to wrap something up.”

“So Takeshi’s already gone?”

“Yeah. I think he went to the arcade with a couple of our club members for some bonding time.”

“Ah.”

Risa swayed her head. “Are you heading home soon?”

“Yeah. Let me tidy up here, and I’ll leave with you.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Satoshi covered his painting with a tarp before leaving the room to clean his brushes and palette. He returned to see Risa on a stool, watching something on her phone. She laughed until she noticed he had returned, and she paused her video before offering a weak wave and smile.

Satoshi grabbed his bag. “You ready to head out?”

“Yup!”

She hopped off the stool. Satoshi closed the door behind them before they walked to the faculty office. He bowed before entering, leaving the keys to the art room with the frazzled student-teacher, and bowed after leaving. Risa trailed behind him uncharacteristically calm and quiet the whole time.

When they got to the shoe lockers, Risa finally broke her silence.

“Hiwatari-kun,” she began as he took off his slippers, “did you know him?”

“Know who?”

“The person I was waiting for that day at the lamppost.”

“It took you this long to ask me about that?”

Risa giggled. “Sorry. I couldn’t find a good time to bring it up.”

“Really? I thought you’d do it by screaming at me about hugging you and overstepping boundaries.”

Risa giggled again. Satoshi raised his eyebrow as he slipped on his shoes. “I was thinking about it, but I thought it’d be too rude to. After all, you appeared when I needed someone the most. Thank you for that.”

“I had a snarky reply to that but, since you’re being genuine, I’ll keep it to myself.”

They reconvened at the entrance. Risa’s smile looked more genuine that the one she had earlier.

Good.

“So, why bring it up now?” Satoshi asked as they began walking out.

“I tried to forget about it. Why should I stay hung up over someone I don’t remember? But, well, long story short, I couldn’t. I want to know who he was.”

They stopped at an intersection. Cars rushed by while commuters joined them, preoccupied with their own lives. Satoshi focused on the red light of the crosswalk, trying not to look at Risa’s expression.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Of course I do! Why else would I be asking you about him?”

“And what if I tell you that it might be overwhelming?”

“So? I’d still want to know!”

“Even if it’ll make you cry?”

“Of course! I don’t want to just forget about him!”

Satoshi sighed. The light at the crosswalk turned green, and they began to move. Risa’s head bobbed with each step, and Satoshi focused on the sidewalk to avoid looking at her.

“Harada, I’d rather not see you cry,” he said. “It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Okay then. I’ll try not to cry.”

“You? Who displays your emotions for the whole world to see? Forget it.”

Risa grabbed his arm, and he turned around. She forced him to look at her. He saw the determination in her eyes, burning just as much as it did when she was chasing Dark mere months ago.

“Hiwatari-kun, please.”

How could he say no to her?

“Alright. Fine. Just give me some time, okay?”

He brushed off her arm, frustrated by her stubbornness. But he saw the softness in her expression when he yielded, and he etched it in his memory.

[satorisa]

Falling: Chapter 2 - In which Satoshi Actually Gets to School on Time

Rating: T

Summary:  "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."

Alternate Reading: AO3

This is so dialogue heavy it’s kind of ridiculous, but sometimes all you gotta do is talk your feelings out. 

“—tosh—”

“Sa—shi!”

“Satoshi!”

He opened his eyes. Takeshi loomed over him, hair disheveled and eyes wide with concern. Satoshi felt warm until a chill cut through his bones; he was drenched in sweat.

“Bro, you alright?”

“…does it look like I’m alright?” Satoshi croaked. His chapped lips and parched throat made it difficult for him to speak.

“Aight. If you’re giving me attitude, you’re gonna be fine.”

Takeshi’s bedhead disappeared. Satoshi expected his roommate to leave him alone and float back to dreamland, but the door creaked open as Takeshi stomped out. His footsteps crescendoed as he returned, and his gravity-defying hair that rivaled Daisuke’s at the moment popped up by Satoshi’s bedside.

He propped Satoshi up, fluffing his pillow before handing him a bottled water. Takeshi placed a cold compress on Satoshi’s forehead and watched, eyes surprisingly sharp, Satoshi take a sip.

“Bad nightmare?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do ya remember what it was about?”

“No.”

“Wanna go for a walk?”

“Isn’t it too late for one?”

“So? Do ya wanna go on one or not?”

Satoshi checked his phone. The lock screen read 2:07 AM.

“…yeah. Let’s go for a walk.”

Takeshi helped Satoshi down from the top bunk. They both put on a light jacket before heading downstairs, slipping on their shoes before walking onto the empty streets of Azumano. Satoshi looked at the darkened windows of the houses lining the road before glancing up at the night sky. His eyes then lingered on the street lamps above them before they flitted over at Takeshi.

He had his hands in his pockets. Their eyes met.

Takeshi said nothing.

The muscles in Satoshi’s body relaxed and he focused on the rhythmic count of his footsteps. He noted that Takeshi’s were slightly off from his.

“How long has it been since my last nightmare?” Satoshi asked.

“Truthfully? Last night,” Takeshi answered with nonchalance. “But most nights, you don’t keep me up with all your, um, noise.”

Satoshi didn’t like the hesitation he heard in Takeshi’s response. He bit his lip. “…sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize, bro. Better out than in, I always say.”

They made it to one of the busier streets. A lone sedan passed by as they stood at the intersection, unmoving despite the lack of traffic and the green light for pedestrians.

“You know, I never expected you to be this…”

Takeshi raised his eyebrow.

“Accommodating? Responsible? Understanding?” Satoshi paused, irritated he couldn’t find the right word to express himself. “You never seemed the type.”

Takeshi frowned. “I know I come off a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I’m a douchebag.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“There ya go apologizing again!” Takeshi sighed. “Do we have to make one of those jars where ya have to toss in one hundred yen every time ya apologize?”

“Absolutely not,” Satoshi barked.

Takeshi’s laugh echoed before it petered off. His eyes were focused on the sidewalk at the other side of the intersection. Satoshi followed Takeshi’s gaze; there was nothing there. Takeshi sighed next to him.

“Yanno, I had the wrong idea about you for the longest time, too. I thought you had your whole life in order. That you were some stoic hotshot the world couldn’t touch.

“Then I lived with you and, I dunno, bro, I can’t imagine going through the half the shit you went through and are still going through. And I’m not sayin’ that ‘cause I pity you, nothin’ like that, but only now do I see how much you’ve been hiding and struggling with.”

“It’s a little pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Nah. What you’re goin’ through ain’t pathetic. Not at all.”

Another lone sedan passed by.

“Are you just being nice to me because you’re my ‘brother?’”

Takeshi glared at Satoshi. “Bro, do ya really think I’m doin’ this because I’m obligated to?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

Satoshi felt so small under Takeshi’s scowl. He braced himself for Takeshi to scream at him. After all, those weren’t words you just admit to people.

But Takeshi just wrapped his arm around Satoshi’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“Goddammit, Satoshi, how many times do we have to hammer this shit into your head? Me, Daisuke an’ my parents aren’t doin’ this because we’re obligated to. We’re doin’ this because we care, you dumbass.”

The warmth and physical affection felt so awkward, but Satoshi didn’t hate it. He leaned his head against Takeshi’s, trying to hold back the tears stinging his eyes.

“…because all of you love me?”

Takeshi pulled away, resting his hands on Satoshi’s shoulders and staring at him straight in the eye. He had the biggest grin on his face.

“Damn, straight, Satoshi! It’s because we love you!” Takeshi scooped Satoshi into a hug, skewing Satoshi’s glasses from the sudden ruckus and scaring the sentimentality from the situation. “I love you, you stubborn son of a bitch!”

“Okay! Okay! Let go of me!”

“No!”

Satoshi attempted to fix his glasses while in Takeshi’s vice grip, but he couldn’t and decided to weakly return Takeshi’s hug. Only then did Takeshi let go.

“Wanna grab some ice cream before we head back?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

They ducked into a nearby convenience store and, after an awkward exchange with the cashier, they walked out with their goods: Takeshi had a popsicle, and Satoshi had an ice cream bar. (And they also had a bag of assorted frozen treats to bring home.)

“Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way,” Takeshi began, nibbling on his popsicle as they headed home,” level with me, bro.”

“Yeah?”

“What might’ve caused your terrible nightmare?”

“Why are you asking me that question?”

“Your nightmares were terrifying when you first moved in, but they’re pretty tame now, so I was wonderin’ if somethin’ might’ve triggered it.” Takeshi paused. “Don’t tell me it’s the Dark Mousy portrait!”

Satoshi shrugged. “Maybe? I’ve been working on it for a while though, so I don’t think that’s it.”

“Fair. Then, what—”

“Harada asked me to tell her about Dark.”

Takeshi smacked Satoshi’s arm.

“Hey! What was—”

“Bro, in what world do you think you’re in any position to be doing that right now?”

“She was adamant!”

“Then you should’ve been more adamant!” Takeshi sighed. “Satoshi, I know that it’s something you’re working on, but you really should care more about yourself. Please.”

…

Takeshi and Satoshi never made it to school on time.

They would always get there right when the gates would close and the teachers on tardy duty would scold Takeshi for keeping Satoshi from punctuality before letting the boys in without any consequences. And, when they would arrive in the classroom, their homeroom teacher would target Takeshi for his rampant tardiness while Satoshi quietly slipped into his seat without much of a fuss.

(In reality, it was actually Satoshi keeping them from getting to school before the first bell. Takeshi learned that Satoshi was a pain in the ass to wake up, so he usually spent his morning at his desk. Whenever Satoshi would meet his eyes while rushing to get ready, he always saw a judgmental smirk on Takeshi’s face.)

But Satoshi, for once, actually got up while Takeshi was getting ready. The two left for school at a reasonable time that morning and bumped into Daisuke and Risa at the school gates.

“Congrats on waking up early!” Daisuke greeted.

Risa giggled next to him.

Satoshi rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Takeshi patted his back. “Bro, this is monumental for you.”

“Shut it.”

Risa and Takeshi began talking about some K-pop song that just dropped. And Daisuke began talking to Satoshi about his plans for the art club.

Satoshi appreciated this distance from Risa. As long as Takeshi and Daisuke were there, he had a safe buffer.

Thank god he wasn’t in the same class as her.

…

Inspector Saehara locked the door behind them. The sun had set a while back, so he and Satoshi stepped onto the evening streets of Azumano. They were on their way to grab fried chicken for dinner before heading home.

Office workers were only just clocking out, so the two passed by commuters in business casual. Passersby were either alone, rushing off someplace, or leisurely strolling about, socializing in groups. Inspector Saehara and Satoshi also passed by students either on their way to cram school or back home.

In the middle of a conversation about stocks, a young woman wearing Azumano High’s uniform bumped into Inspector Saehara. She furiously apologized before rushing off as her pigtails bounced behind her, muttering something under her breath about being late to cram school again.

“Do you wanna go to cram school?” Inspector Saehara asked. “I know your grades are good, but it wouldn’t hurt if you’re aiming for a prestigious high school.”

“I have a Bachelor’s degree, remember?”

“I know,” Inspector Saehara huffed. “It was just a suggestion.”

“Then suggest it to Takeshi. He needs it more than I do.”

“Nah. He’s already decided on going to Azumano High.”

“Why? He’s got the potential to aim for a better school.”

“He wants to stay close to home.”

“That’s a waste.”

“Yanno, there’s more to life than success,” Inspector Saehara said. “I may not show it, but I do miss Ma terribly when she’s overseas, so I appreciate having Takeshi around.”

“And he made that decision because of you?”

“Yeah. He knows he might be at a little disadvantage when applying to universities, but he’s got plans to make up for it.”

“Then why are you and Saehara-san forcing me to stay in school for at least one more year when you’re not pushing Takeshi to try harder?”

Inspector Saehara let out a guffaw at this. His reaction only confused Satoshi more.

“I dunno about you, but it seems a little unfair for me to let a fifteen year old go straight into the workforce, college degree or not.”

“I don’t know about you, but it seems a little unfair to me that you’re forcing me to ‘relearn’ things I already know in the hope that I may want to waste away another three years of my life in high school.”

Inspector Saehara just laughed at Satoshi’s snarky comment.

Satoshi didn’t see his reply as a joke. The Saeharas laughed at the strangest of things and made a big deal over the littlest of things. Even after living with them for a while, their theatrics were still foreign to him.

“I suppose, but Ma and I don’t want you to shoehorn yourself into that path. And who knows? You may change your mind between now and December!”

“I highly doubt it.”

Inspector Saehara laughed again.

Besides, even if Satoshi, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to waste another three years in high school, he had already gone through the college experience once. After high school, he only had two options available to him: work or attend graduate school. He certainly didn’t want to toil through studying again, so the latter option was off the table.

Honestly, Satoshi didn’t understand Inspector Saehara and Mama Saehara’s insistence on him “living his youth.” Were they nostalgic of their own youth? Trying to live vicariously through him? Or was there something here that Satoshi wasn’t understanding but that they, two bona fide adults, did?

Which only then begged the question…

“Why did you and Saehara-san decide to take me in?” Satoshi asked.

They stopped at a crosswalk. Satoshi glanced over at Inspector Saehara, but the older man’s expression showed nothing. It was his usual gruff face, disinterested with the bustle surrounding them.

“I was wonderin’ when you were gonna ask that question,” Inspector Saehara admitted.

“I didn’t think I could. It seemed a little rude to ask after all your hospitality.”

“It ain’t rude. You’re curious, and you have the right to know,” Inspector Saehara said. “I want you to feel comfortable asking us for stuff, yanno. I don’t want you feelin’ like you can’t or shouldn’t.”

“But— ”

“You shouldn’t have to feel responsible for my, or anyone’s, feelings. How I feel is on me. And if somethin’ you ask makes me uncomfortable, I’ll let you know.”

Inspector Saehara ruffled Satoshi’s hair. He looked over at the older man who had the biggest grin on his face. Reassured, Satoshi allowed a small smile to slip.

“As long as you keep your word on that, I’ll try to get more comfortable about asking for stuff.”

“Atta boy.”

The light turned green, and they crossed the street.

“Anyways, uh, Ma and I were already planning on taking you in,” Inspector Saehara answered. “We waited to see if the Niwas wanted to adopt you, since Daisuke’s your friend an’ all, but he said it’d probably be better for you if we took you in.”

“Did he say why?”

“Nope. Figured your close friend would be excited to live with you so, if he had something against it, then he prolly had a reason why.”

“Did you know about it before taking me in?” Satoshi asked.

“About your issues an’ stuff? I had an inkling that something was up, but I only really knew when ya told us about it.”

“…how did you and Saehara-san take it so well?”

Inspector Saehara just smiled. “Honestly, Satoshi, this ain’t Ma’s and my first go around with somethin’ like this.”

The words danced on Satoshi’s tongue. They screamed in his head. He wanted to know what Inspector Saehara meant, to learn about another situation similar to his. Inspector Saehara noticed Satoshi’s face, scrunched in thought, and let out a hearty laugh.

“One day, Ma will tell you about it, alright? It ain’t really my place to share it.”

“…fine.”

“Now then, where should we grab chicken from today?”

…

Yet another art meeting ended. The fangirls that initially joined had long left. In their stead were passionate first-years, crazy about art and simultaneously enamored with Satoshi’s handsome visage and artistic prowess.

The second and third years contended that Satoshi had the personality of a wet block of tofu. They all bickered for a while for a while until Daisuke broke it up.

Satoshi laughed at this. Everyone gasped.

“I think I might need to ban you from smiling for the safety of my club,” Daisuke joked, handing Satoshi a warm black coffee from the vending machine.

Satoshi nestled the drink in his hand, nursing it like a baby chick before looking out the window. He spotted the art club members in a group, arguing about something until they noticed Satoshi looking at them. They waved enthusiastically, and he returned their gesture, albeit calmer, with a small smile, and the group returned to their conversation absolutely giddy.

“Maybe you should,” Satoshi quipped.

Daisuke laughed before pulling off the tarp covering Dark’s portrait. It looked complete to the untrained eye, but Daisuke knew there was still work to be done.

“You’ve made really go progress on this,” Daisuke said. “Are you planning on doing something with it?”

Satoshi shrugged, examining the painting while sipping on his drink. He noted spots he wanted to work on while Daisuke continued to study it.

“Why don’t you give it to me?” Daisuke suggested. “I think my mom might appreciate it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What else would you do with it?”

“Give it to Harada.”

Daisuke made a face, trying to hold back from saying what was on his mind. He had a way of wording his thoughts as gently as possible, but the facial journey to his decision said everything.

“Whatever you want to say, Takeshi’s already said it but worse,” Satoshi said as he got ready to work, squeezing some paint onto his pallet. “Don’t feel like you need to sugar-coat it for me.”

Daisuke sighed. “I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Thanks,” Satoshi drawled. “I’m aware.”

He glanced over at Daisuke again to see if he could gather anything  from his friend’s expression. Illuminated by the setting sun, he witnessed yet another facial journey: introspective instead of judgmental.

Perhaps Daisuke had something to say about Risa, especially since he was the closest to her out of the trio of boys. Maybe there was something hidden behind her loud screeches whenever Takeshi would hound her about something or the silent, composed smile she had whenever Satoshi found himself alone with her.

But Daisuke just kept it to himself, giving Satoshi a reassuring pat on his back before working on his own painting.

Satoshi knew that telling Risa about Dark was threatening the distance between them. He preferred those smiles compared to her screaming into his ear. As long as Risa behaved herself around him, he knew that she wasn’t comfortable in his presence.

For his sake, he wanted it to stay that way.

…

Satoshi woke up at a reasonable time yet again. To celebrate his achievement, Inspector Saehara gave them some money to buy some nikuman.

And so, they stood in front of the convenience store by the school, watching students pass by while they nibbled on their steamed buns and sipped on their milk.

Takeshi looked down at his phone for a bit, and Satoshi spotted Daisuke and Risa walk by. He nearly called them over when he noticed the exuberance in Risa’s expression: shining, just like how she looked like when she was around Dark.

“…shit.”

…

Satoshi woke up that morning to an empty room. Takeshi planned a team-building event for the newspaper club that day, so he said he would be out for a while.

After stretching, Satoshi headed downstairs. Inspector Saehara stood in front of the stove, focused on the pan of scrambled eggs.

“Good morning, Saehara-san.”

“G’morning, Satoshi,” he greeted. “Yanno, you can call me ‘Pa.’”

“Absolutely not.”

He sighed before turning off the stove, setting the pan of eggs to the side to cool. The rice cooker sang, signaling that the rice had finished cooking, so Satoshi helped Inspector Saehara set the table.

“Saehara-san, do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?” Satoshi asked once they both sat down to eat.

“I appreciate you asking me questions an’ all, but do ya have to ask me now?”

“I wanted to ask you when Takeshi wasn’t around.”

“Can we eat first though?”

After saying their thanks, Satoshi gulped his food down. Inspector Saehara watched in awe before shaking his head and digging in. Once he finished, Satoshi had already cleaned up his spot at the table and washed most of the dishes.

“So?” Satoshi started as he finished cleaning up the table.

Inspector Saehara sighed. “Do you think it’s a mistake?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi—”

“I ain’t askin’ about what they think. I’m askin’ about what you think.”

Satoshi didn’t answer. He focused on washing the dishes, feeling the warm water running over his hands, the soap clinging to his skin. The sound of the faucet said everything.

“Satoshi, what do you think?” Inspector Saehara asked again.

He finished rinsing the last dish. Satoshi placed it on the drying rack before turning off the water and facing Inspector Saehara.

“…I don’t know.”

Inspector Saehara got up from the table. “Alright. Let’s go call Ma.”

“No, don’t do that!” Satoshi protested. “It’s late over there and I don’t want to bother her.”

“Yer not botherin’ her.”

“Yes, I am! This whole thing is ridiculous—”

“This ain’t ridiculous.” The stern tone in Inspector Saehara’s voice startled Satoshi. “Whatever problem yer havin’ is a problem so stop trying to minimalize it. ‘sides, Ma’s better at figurin’ out emotions than me.”

Satoshi held back from protesting and silently followed Inspector Saehara to the master bedroom. The older man grabbed his phone and dialed Mama Saehara before lying down on his bed. Satoshi sat next to him, uncomfortable about calling Mama Saehara, when she picked up. Her face appeared on the tiny screen, and she looked drowsy.

“What do you want, Pa?” she asked.

Inspector Saehara handed the phone to Satoshi. Mama Saehara perked up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Satoshi’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Saehara-san, but—”

“Honey, no, please don’t apologize. It’s alright.” He heard something move on her end. “What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath. “Do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?”

“Do you think it’s a mistake?” she calmly echoed.

“Daisuke and Takeshi think it is, but I genuinely don’t know. It feels like it is, though.”

“Why do Daisuke and Takeshi think it is? And why do you think it is?”

Her soft tone asked questions Satoshi had difficulty answering. He preferred hearing someone speaking to him, interrupting him, calling him out, explaining things to him, than hear his timid voice struggling to respond to something so simple.

“Daisuke and Satoshi said that I should take care of myself first. And, for me honestly, it scares me.”

Mama Saehara was silent. She pondered for a bit before nodding and responded. “I do have to agree with Daisuke and Takeshi about taking care of yourself but, funnily enough, sometimes facing things that scare you is actually taking care of yourself.”

Satoshi blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi mean well. They want to protect you from getting hurt, so they’re telling you not to do it. And, if you’re not ready for it, Pa and I would stop you from doing it , too.”

“But I don’t feel ready for it at all!”

The decision felt like taking a step into the woods without a flashlight. Whenever Risa approached him, he felt like he was drowning, terrified that she would ask about Dark. Why did he have to face something he had no strength to acknowledge just because one stubborn, teenage girl wanted to now about her forgotten lover?

“Sometimes, you won’t feel like you’re ready, and that’s okay,” Mama Saehara answered. “But you don’t have to go through this alone anymore. We’re all with you now.”

“At the end of the day, what you do is your decision,” Inspector Saehara said. “If you don’t want to help Harada-imouto, then tell her you can’t help her anymore. And if you want to, like Ma said, we’re with you every step of the way.”

“What type of answer is that?” Satoshi asked. “You two are the adults here. Don’t you have something clearer than that?”

“Sorry, Satoshi, but this isn’t a decision we can make for you,” Mama Saehara answered.

Satoshi wanted to scream. Why did this situation have to be so difficult to deal with? Calculus was no problem; he could derive and integrate equations all day, but this? This whole damn thing made him so uncomfortable, and he hated it.

Daisuke and Takeshi told him this wasn’t a good idea. Inspector and Mama Saehara told him otherwise. How the hell could he make a decision when he didn’t have a unanimous answer?

“You know, Satoshi,” Inspector Saehara began, shaking Satoshi out of his thoughts, “I was in that situation, too. Everyone around me thought that I was making a terrible mistake to the point that I began to second guess my decision.”

“And?”

His expression softened. “I ain’t gonna lie, the whole thing was hell, but it worked out alright in the end.”

“That’s a terrible answer,” Satoshi grumbled.

Inspector Saehara laughed. “I suppose it is.”

Satoshi glanced down at Mama Saehara. She looked lost in a happy thought.

“Saehara-san,” he called, catching Mama Saehara’s attention,” what do you think?”

“I don’t have a personal anecdote like Pa, but I think you should go for it. If you’re able to think about something like that, then you should give it a shot. And, speaking from personal experiences, you’re a lot stronger than you think you are. If the whole thing gets difficult, you can always take a break before jumping back into it.”

Satoshi mulled over her words while looking at Mama Saehara. She was wide awake, comfortably sitting up in the bed by the lamplight. Was that what it looked like to be an adult? Able to take on other’s burdens while giving advice, looking like they’ve been unaffected by the toils of life?

“Thank you, Saehara-san. And sorry again for calling you this late.”

“You’re very welcome, Satoshi. And please don’t apologize. I’m glad you called me for this. She yawned. “Unfortunately, I have a packed schedule waiting for me, so I must now depart. Au revoir, my loves.”

She hung up. Satoshi handed the phone back to Inspector Saehara.

“We’ll be proud of you no matter what decision you make.”

“…why?”

“Because you finally asked for help. Thanks for letting us know.”

Satoshi never understood why the Saeharas celebrated such small things like that. Sometimes, he felt like they treated him like a kid, but the pure elation on their faces whenever he accomplished something said otherwise.

These menial things meant a lot to them, and he couldn’t take that away. Not when their idiosyncrasies began to grow on him, too.

“Let’s go out for some coffee,” Inspector Saehara sad. “You look like you need that pick-me-up.”

“Is that fair to Takeshi?”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

…

Takeshi happened to spot them through the window on the way back home from his outing. Risa was with him, and she casually followed Takeshi in while he sauntered over to where Inspector Saehara and Satoshi sat. Satoshi watched, amused, as Takeshi scolded his father for leaving him out of “bonding time with Satoshi.”

Eventually, they settled down before directing their attention towards Risa, begging her to join the Saehara family for an afternoon snack. When she relented, Takeshi and her fell in line to order.

Inspector was busy enjoying the brownie he bought with his coffee. Satoshi was about to return to people-watching when he noticed Takeshi’s familiar expression while joking about something with Risa: radiant with just a touch of gentleness.

…oh.

…

Daisuke and the rest of the club had long left. Satoshi, content with the work he had just finished, began cleaning up. He draped a tarp over his canvas and gathered up the brushes, dumping them into his water cup. Palette in hand, he picked up the cup and was about to leave the room—

Risa opened the door, bathed in the blue glow of the evening.

“Oh!”

Satoshi blinked at her startled reaction. “Hello, Harada. Takeshi keep you long again?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. Ritsuko just finished something up for the robotics club, so I kept her company.”

“Isn’t she the club president?”

“Yup.” Risa laughed. “I don’t get how she gets that stuff and likes it, but it sure is interesting when you see the final results.” She noticed what Satoshi was holding and stepped out of the way. “Whoops. Sorry about that!”

“No issue, Harada. Did you need something, though?” he asked.

He made his way to the bathroom and Risa followed. “I just figured we could walk home together if you were still here.”

Satoshi raised his eyebrow. “What about Fukuda?”

“She has cram school today, so she rushed out.”

“She’s been busy?”

“Yup. It’s been hard to see her lately.”

They got to the bathroom. Satoshi stepped in and after he finished cleaning everything, he came out to see Risa sipping on a strawberry milk. She handed him a can of black coffee that he accepted, and they headed back to the art room.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to bribe me right now.”

“Maybe.”

He glanced over at her, and she giggled. Satoshi became painfully aware of what this meant to the two of them, and Risa felt so far away from him in that instant. He had to quell the desire to crush the can in his hand.

“Why haven’t you asked about him sooner?” Satoshi asked.

“Mm, I don’t know. I felt like I needed to brace myself for it. And that you needed to prepare yourself for it, too.”

“Was that a hunch of yours?”

“Yup. You’re not very easy to read, Hiwatari-kun.”

They reached the classroom. He let Risa go in before he followed. Satoshi tidied up while Risa busied herself with her phone.

How sharp was Risa’s intuition? Even Daisuke and Takeshi had difficulty seeing past his unexpressive face. Yet, without much effort, Risa could see past everything.

Terrifying.

When Satoshi finished putting away all the art supplies, he looked at Risa. She laughed at something on her phone and, when she noticed Satoshi looking at her, she put her phone away and smiled.

“Ready to head out and talk about my special someone?” she asked with that lilting tone.

“No.”

“Then is there something on my face?”

“No.”

Her amusement gave way to confusion. “Then…?”

Satoshi sighed. He couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer.

“Do you want to see what he looked like?”

Risa’s eyes sparkled. He urged her over to the covered painting and slipped the tarp off, revealing the completed Dark Mousy portrait.

And Satoshi, bathed in the blue flow of the recently set sun, could only stand there and watch as the pure elation in her face gave way to tears.

Dammit.

…

“You’re giving it to me?” she asked after she calmed down.

“Yes. The paint’s still drying, so I’ll let you know when you can take it home.”

Risa sniffled before looking at the painting again.

“What’s his name?”

“Dark Mousy.”

She giggled. “What a silly name!”

“Indeed.”

She continued to admire the work. Her eyes glistened under the fluorescent lights, and her smile wouldn’t leave her face.

“You don’t want to learn more about him?” Satoshi asked.

She looked at him and beamed brighter than the lights above. “Nah. I think this is enough for today. There’s always another time to find out more about him.” Risa slipped off the desk and straightened her skirt. “Anyways, let’s head out now.”

“Yes, we should.”

Satoshi covered the portrait. He took the club room keys out of his pocket and, after turning off the lights, locked the door behind them. They made their way towards the faculty office.

“I’m in the mood for some crepes. Wanna grab some on the way back? My treat.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Aw. You’re no fun.”

[satorisa]

Phantom Thieves of Hearts Club: On Our Way to Steal Yours, Dark

Chapter 4: Sweet

Rating: T

Summary:  A loosely connected one-shot collection about an unlikely trio trying to catch Dark for their own personal agendas which may or may not include their personal infatuations towards their target.

Alternate reading link: AO3

Two chapters? In a day?

Insanity.

Also, Takeshi is definitely the type of guy who would have a wall covered in string lights and instax photos of his friends and family. 

Takeshi slipped past the police force, duty bound to listen to his father as he barked orders at them, onto the premises. Satoshi and Risa had gone ahead to find Dark in labyrinthine building since Inspector Saehara held Takeshi back to lecture him about etiquette at a crime scene.

After wandering around aimlessly, Takeshi finally heard voices down a hallway. He tip-toed towards them to avoid getting caught. Once he got close enough, he recognized the high-pitched timbre of Risa’s voice and quickened his pace. He found himself at the entrance of an expansive room when he saw two figures at the other end of it.

Takeshi was about to call Risa’s name when he heard her company speak.

Dark.

Hand ready on the camera, Takeshi ducked behind a column to take the perfect photo.

…

Risa left after the police force confirmed that Dark had left the vicinity. She skipped off, humming a popular song, while Inspector Saehara scolded his team, starting yet another one of his tirades about how useless the lot of them were. Satoshi looked on, amused, with his arms folded across his chest.

“Pssst!”

Satoshi glanced over at Takeshi, and his amused expression turned into one of brief confusion before utter apathy.

The least the damn kid could do, for Takeshi’s pride, was to not treat him like he was a dumbass.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Takeshi hissed.

“Tell you what?”

“That Dark and Risa are romantically involved!”

Satoshi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Did I need to tell you that?”

“No, but it would’ve helped.”

“Helped with what?”

“Everything! I thought Risa was just another one of those Dark-crazy fangirls, so I thought all the effort she was putting into this was cute, but all of this is different if she’s actually involved with him! This shit is actually serious business for her!”

“Saehara, why does this matter to you?”

“I don’t know! It just…does. I want to know as much about Dark as I can, and I don’t appreciate being left in the dark—ha—by the two of you.”

“I can’t speak on Harada’s behalf, but I don’t go around telling people things. Unless it’s important, my mouth is shut.”

“And if it were important?”

“In what situation would the nature of Harada’s relationship to Dark be important?”

“I’m not asking about them specifically!” Takeshi let out an exasperated groan. “Just, in general. If anything were important, would you tell me?”

Satoshi sighed. “If I had to be honest, no. I wouldn’t. Outside of my professional life, there’s no need for me to tell anyone about anything. Unless it’s a life or death situation in that moment, it’s not your business.”

“…go eat dirt, you pompous ass.”

…

Risa opened her shoe locker to see an envelope sitting on her uwabaki. She read her name, printed in impeccable writing, before ravenously opening what she believed was a confession letter.

It wasn’t.

After lifting up the flap, she saw a picture of her and Dark in an embrace. She emptied out the envelope. In one hand, she held two developed photos, one on photo paper, the other on instant camera film, and a USB drive. The other held the empty envelope and a note.

…

Harada-imouto,

I snapped this picture during the heist the other day. Sorry for taking it without your permission. I didn’t think he’d pull you into a hug so quickly that it out-sped my shutter finger.

Figured you girls like memorabilia and stuff, so I printed two copies. Don’t know which one suits your fancy. And the USB has the digital file on it so you can, I dunno, slap it on a mug or some snazzy matching couple shirts. Whatever floats your boat.

If you feel uncomfortable by this, don’t. I deleted the picture from my camera, so you have the only digital copy in the world. Well, you should. And if you see it somewhere else years later, lemme know and I’ll treat you to a meal on my journalistic integrity!

Best wishes and regards,

  Your favorite brown-noser

…

“Ohh, what’s that?” Ritsuko asked as she looked over Risa’s shoulder on the way to her own shoe locker. “A love letter?”

Risa grinned.

“Even better.”

[satorisa]

In which Daisuke and Satoshi share an uncomfortably intimate(?) conversation while on cleaning duty in a sunset-colored classroom.

Companion piece to this. 

“Niwa.”

Daisuke looks up from the floor to see Satoshi staring at him. Steely, cold eyes hidden behind the reflective glare on his glasses meet his, and he blushes at the focused attention before looking back down at the floor and resting his chin on the broom in his hands. He feels his ears heat up.

“What’s up, Hiwatari-kun?”

“Why did you like Harada-imouto?”

The question lingers uncomfortably. Daisuke’s eyes flit around on the floor, focusing on a speck of lint by the desk in the corner of his vision, the dirt packed between the wooden panels on the floor, as if these menial details could provide him answers to the questions bouncing around in his mind.

Is this a new form of psychological torment to weaken him? Or has Satoshi taken his words to heart and decided to open up to Daisuke? Not that he isn’t opposed to this, but for Satoshi to ask about something of this nature was…

Well, frankly speaking, Daisuke is equal parts not ready, extremely excited, and fearful for where this conversation would lead them.

“Niwa? Is something wrong?”

Daisuke peeks at Satoshi, expecting a smirk or some sort of amused expression. Instead, he sees that familiar expression of seriousness, the same one that Satoshi started this conversation with, and Daisuke realizes that this isn’t a joke. He gulps.

“No, but…um…why are you asking?”

“I was just curious. If I’ve overstepped a boundary, I’m—”

“No! Don’t apologize! It just…caught me off guard. That’s all.”

Daisuke props the broom against the wall before hoisting himself up to sit on a desk. He swings his legs casually before leaning back on his hands.

“Well, I thought she was cute. She has a bubbly personality, and that smile of hers always made me feel warm.” Daisuke chuckles. “Honestly, I just really loved it when she paid attention to me.”

“Then how did you end up falling for Harada-ane instead?”

The questions hits Daisuke, and he shoots a worried glance at Satoshi.  

“Honestly, I don’t know. At some point, I stopped daydreaming about Risa and started daydreaming about Riku, and I just knew.” The vagueness of Daisuke’s answer pains himself, and he mentally apologizes to Satoshi for it.

“Why?”

“I don’t have specific reasons as to why I like Riku; I just do.”

Hearing himself admit it makes Daisuke’s cheeks warm up. He turns to face Satoshi again, seeing if he can glean anything from his expression.

Nothing.

“So, Hiwatari-kun, really, why are you asking me this?”

Silence.

“Do you like someone?”

“No.”

The firmness in Satoshi’s voice shocks Daisuke. Fear flits in Satoshi’s eyes. The composed demeanor that Satoshi held starts to crumble. Daisuke nearly launches himself off his perch to comfort Satoshi, but this strange, uncomfortable, painful sight paralyzes him.

“I don’t like them. I can’t like them.”

“Hiwatari-kun…”

“They’re always on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about them. And the sight of them crying? It hurts.”

Unable to watch any longer, Daisuke walks over to Satoshi and starts to rub his back. It doesn’t seem to be helping, but Daisuke’s hesitant to pull him into a hug: any more physical comfort might exacerbate the situation.

“Well, it seems like you care an awful lot about this person, but I don’t know if you like them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to spend every waking second of everyday with them?” Satoshi shakes his head. “Do you want to hold their hand?” He shakes his head again. “Do you want to kiss—”

“Absolutely not.”

Daisuke laughs before patting his friend on the back.

“Then you don’t like them, so I wouldn’t worry about that too much.”

Surprisingly, Satoshi doesn’t seem too pleased with that answer. He just purses his lips.

“Even though I’m glad to hear that I don’t like them, I’m not comfortable with you telling me that I care about them a lot.”

“Then how would you describe how you feel about them?”

“…I feel sorry for them.”

The words hang heavy in the air. Daisuke doesn’t quite know what to say, how to diffuse this situation, but he just cups Satoshi’s shoulder.

“But…somehow, despite pitying them, I think it’s beautiful that you’ve come to care about them a lot. I’m sure it’s terrifying, but I think it’s something to be celebrated instead of shunned. Don’t you think?”

The classroom is silent save for the muted sounds of the evening bustle outside. A small smile eventually breaks on Satoshi’s face, and Daisuke takes the queue to give his friend some space.

“…perhaps, in due time, I’ll come to accept it. But, for now, I am only able to toil over processing it.”

Daisuke returns the smile. “And that’s good enough.”

A smirk appears on Satoshi’s face.

Oh no.

“I thought you’d be curious enough to ask who I’m talking about.”

“Well, it did come to my mind, but I don’t think it’d be fair to ask who it was.” Daisuke pauses. “…don’t tell me it’s me.”

“Would I be so conniving to ambiguously talk about someone to their face?”

“Yes, actually.”

Satoshi shakes his head, but he looks amused. Even if Daisuke had to lose face, he’d rather have Satoshi enjoying himself than in pain.

“Well, it’s not you.”

“Then…who is it?”

“Secret.”

Daisuke groans. “Come on, Hiwatari-kun! You can’t leave me hanging after a conversation like that!”

But Satoshi just laughs before turning his back onto Daisuke and cleans the boards. Daisuke marches over to grab the broom and sweep the floors with a reignited vigor. And when he finishes, he looks out the window to see Risa heading home with Ritsuko. 

If Satoshi wasn’t talking about him, then who was on his mind?

[luanna801]

I’m getting mighty curious about this D.N. Angel series you mention in some of your posts! Would you mind telling us a little about it and what makes it worth the read?

Listen, I’m always delighted to have an excuse to ramble about D.N.Angel (I would probably ramble about it far more if I wasn’t worried about annoying people), and delighted to know that my posts got someone interested in the series! So no, I don’t mind at all - I’m absolutely thrilled to get this ask. :-)

Okay, so the first thing you need to know about D.N.Angel and what makes it worth the read is that the main character is an absolute sunshine:

^Meet Daisuke, our protagonist and deserving bearer of my #Actual Most Adorable Human Being Daisuke Niwa tag.

I enjoy morally grey characters, but sometimes it’s just really nice to read a story about someone’s who’s kind, and gentle and good-natured, and cares for others with every fiber of his being. And Daisuke is all of that, and more (he also looks like he literally shines when he smiles, bless). That’s not to say he’s lacking in flaws or moral complexity - you’ll see that right off the bat when I explain a bit more about the premise of the series - but he’s a continuously sweet and lovely person in a way that’s very lovable.

Daisuke’s deal is basically that he’s been trained by his family to be an expert thief from birth but never knew why (and never demanded answers about this because… well, he can be rather too nice for his own good, frankly). It isn’t until his 14th birthday, when the series starts, that he finds out that he comes from a long line of phantom thieves who have the unique magical ability to, under certain circumstances, transform into an entirely different person by the name of Dark:

^This is him. (The series’ title is obviously a reference to him, although he is not technically speaking an angel. But he is a winged magical being so, y’know, close enough.)

So basically this is a Magical Girl series (despite the protagonist being male), with the twist that Dark is a separate person unto himself, as opposed to just being Daisuke’s transformed self. When Daisuke isn’t transformed, he basically exists as a voice inside Daisuke’s head, and vice versa. Naturally Daisuke isn’t too thrilled with this situation at first, so a large part of the early series is the two of them learning to co-exist with each other.

(Co-existence, or lack thereof, is a major theme in the series! But I can’t discuss that much without getting a bit into spoiler territory.)

The transformation is, specifically, triggered by Daisuke (or Dark, when he’s the one in control) having romantic feelings, which leads me to…

… Risa Harada, Daisuke’s crush (at the start of the series, anyway).

Daisuke and Risa are classmates and he’s had a crush on her for a while, but she isn’t interested in him romantically and turns him down when he confesses to her (leading to his initial transformation into Dark). She feels like Daisuke isn’t cool enough to be boyfriend material but unsurprisingly… well, this happens:

(The art from this series gets a lot better as it goes on, I should tell you.)

So yeah, Risa has it bad for Dark pretty much as soon as she lays eyes on him. This starts off as a pretty shallow crush at first - he’s cool and mysterious, while Daisuke seems like your typical Boy Next Door - but as time goes on, she grows up quite a lot and their dynamic gets a lot more depth.

Meanwhile, Daisuke’s been told that the only way he’ll stop tranforming into Dark is if he gets into a successful, requited relationship with someone, but Risa only has eyes for his alter ego. But someone who feels quite differently is:

Riku Harada, Risa’s twin sister.

Riku and Risa are your time-honored trope of identical twins who have completely contrasting personalities. Riku is a down-to-earth tomboy, while Risa is a romantic adventure-seeker. And unsurprisingly, Riku thinks Dark is a lawbreaking jerk, while Risa thinks there’s nothing cooler than a magical bad-boy.

And, on the flipside, while Risa thinks Daisuke is far too average and milquetoast to be a romantic prospect, Riku likes and admires him for the kind and creative person he is.

Despite their differences though, the Harada sisters do have some major similarities - they’re both very outspoken in what they believe in, very stubborn when they make their minds up about something, and very brave. And while they do clash over their differences at times, they also genuinely love and are very loyal to each other.

The Daisuke/Risa/Dark/Riku love quadrangle occupies a fair part of the early arcs, but it largely ends up being resolved a couple of volumes in and the series from there on focuses a lot more on developing the relationships and plots revolving around the various magical shenanigans everyone deals with, which I appreciate.

Most of the D.N.Angel plots revolve around magical artwork, which Dark (and Daisuke) typically try to steal and which often ends up creating a lot of unintended magical havoc, both for the main characters and on a larger scale. Which brings me to this guy:

^This is Satoshi Hiwatari who, cards on the table, is my absolute favorite character in the series and it was therefore vitally important that I talk about him last, as he brings out my tendency to ramble.

Satoshi, like Riku and Risa, is Daisuke’s classmate, and when the series isn’t focusing on the more serious and plot-driven elements, there are often lots of cute scenes of all of them in school, doing regular things like going on field trips or putting on their school play. (Of course, these are also in turn always hijacked by magical shenanigans, because these kids do not lead normal lives.)

So Satoshi comes from a long line of magical artists who make most of the aforementioned magical artwork that Dark and Daisuke are always stealing. Because of this (and other reasons which are more spoiler-y), his family and Daisuke’s are mortal enemies, and they’ve been trying to capture Dark for generations, which is currently Satoshi’s mission.

Oh, and to facilitate this Satoshi is somehow a freakin’ police commander at the age of fourteen, because he’s just that much of a super-genius. This is ridiculous, obviously, but it should be noted he’s usually much more competent than any of the adult police officers, so. *shrugs*

Also, his life is The Worst. You’ll understand more about why when you read the series, but it’s vital to understanding his character that he has basically never known love or kindness in his life and is one of those characters who severely needs hugs at all times (but would probably have trouble accepting them.)

In spite of the fact that they work on opposite sides of the law and have this longstanding feud between their families, though, Satoshi and Daisuke come to form an increasingly close friendship as the series develops, which is really sweet and one of my favorite aspects of the series.

There are also two main villains of the series, but I’m not sure how much to talk about them without giving away spoilers? But suffice it to say that a lot of the overarching plots of the series tend to revolve around them and the different ways that they go about targeting Dark, Daisuke, and other characters in the series. There’s also quite a bit of backstory development regarding Daisuke and Satoshi’s families, the nature of Dark and the other magical beings who exist in that universe, and things like that.

This is far from a complete overview of the series (particularly since I was trying to avoid anything too spoilery), but that should at least give you a solid starting point! Let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to expand on more, and if you do pick up the series, I look forward to hearing your thoughts. :-)

[luanna801]

Anyway, on a less analytical note, this scene is honestly one of the cutest, most underrated moments in the manga for my money, and it deserves so much more appreciation.

(I kinda wish they’d all group hugged, ngl. Like can’t you picture Riku pulling Daisuke into the hug after a minute, because she’s relieved as hell for both him and Risa? And Satoshi kinda standing off to one side, happy for them but also a bit awkward (a la Eugene in that scene from the end of Tangled), until Daisuke reaches out and pulls him in there too? No? Just me?) 

[satorisa]

Lift the Veil - Chapter 9

Lift the Veil - Chapter 9: Ghost

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Read On: FanFiction.Net, Archive of Our Own

(I am a filthy liar.)

This chapter was brought to you LATE by this lovely song, headcanons that belong to @fugitivehugs and @keikotwins (the police force doting on Satoshi and Kei having a brother) [also if you are not them and reading this and so happen to love DNAngel, go ahead and hit up these wonderful people!!!], the former’s love for Kei Hiwatari, and the boy that influenced the dinner scene with Satoshi, making that one singular scene so difficult to deal with that it delayed my progress by several days.

Thank you.

Without further ado, here is the ~8000 word behemoth born from a terrible decision to merge two chapters together. Please enjoy for my sake. 

Chapter 9 – Ghost

This time, I might just disappear.

“Someone’s late today,” Saehara smirked.

“Shut up,” I breathed, winded from having rushed over here. “What’d I miss?”

“This!” He gestured to the surprisingly busy police force. Most of them carried huge boxes of paperwork while they frantically ran around, but some of them had a gift of some sort in their hands. They briefly stepped into the Police Commissioner’s office only to come out moments later with their colorful presents replaced by paperwork as, they too, joined the horde and scurried to their destinations. “What do you think is going on?”

I shrugged before sitting down to work while Saehara shot up, steno pad in his hand, to satiate his curiosity. He returned much later than usual, plopping onto the sofa with uncharacteristic lethargy and a distant expression on his face. His clothes became more wrinkled during his absence and his hair, although already unruly, started reaching Einstein levels of messiness.

“Hey, Harada-imouto, I think you should go check up on Satoshi.”

“Why should I?”

“Please.”

Hearing the desperation in his voice, I headed towards Hiwatari’s office and knocked. No one answered, so I let myself in, softly opening and closing the door behind me. There Hiwatari laid on his sofa, staring up at the ceiling. He turned to face me, and I felt cornered from his stare.

“Are you…okay?” I croaked even though it was painfully obvious that he wasn’t.

He shook his head before sitting up, patting the seat next to him, but I sat on the other side of the sofa, ample space away from him. He looked lost, staring at his hands as if they weren’t his.

I didn’t want to pry, knowing that I would be overstepping a boundary if I asked. My presence during such a vulnerable time was already pushing it. And so we sat there in silence, intermittently disturbed by someone dropping a gift off with words of encouragement and consolation in exchange for some paperwork.

Hiwatari’s mood didn’t seem to improve, despite the gestures of his coworkers, so I pulled out my phone and messaged Daisuke. He arrived fairly quickly, and I left the room before one of them could stop me. When I returned to my workspace, Saehara wasn’t there, so I sat down and continued my work to get my mind off of Hiwatari.

Despite everything, Hiwatari always seemed to have his life under control. When college entrance exam time rolled around, Riku got so stressed out from the extensive cram school sessions she had. Even Daisuke, known for heading to bed at a reasonable time, stayed up late finishing up his portfolio for admissions. And I had quickly cracked under the sheer amount of studying I decided to undertake. But Hiwatari stayed collected despite his workload, somehow managing to free up his already packed schedule in case any one of us needed him.

Then again, I knew he was better at hiding it compared to most people. And before walking into that office, I had only seen him remotely shut down twice.

The first time was during the Kokuyoku fiasco. And the second was when…

…it was when he decided to completely share his story of Rio HIkari, of the burden he bared, of the relationship he shared with Kei. He managed to maintain his composure until he finished and saw me crying.

He pulled me into an embrace so tight that I couldn’t breathe before burying his face into the crook of my neck. Despite his unwavering voice, I felt his warm tears fall on my skin as he apologized for telling me his story over and over again. I returned his hug, hoping that it would at least give him some comfort, but he didn’t stop until he had fallen asleep, probably spent from all that crying. Just like a child, I tucked him in next to me, holding him close as I patted his head until, I too, drifted off.

Seeing him, looking like that on that sofa, almost spurred me to pull him into my arms and cry.

Almost.

Coming back home after work, I rested my feet on the sofa and turned on the TV. I decided to leave the Japanese drama rerun on, enjoying the end of another busy day when I heard the front door swing open then slam shut, revealing a frustrated Riku. She tossed her purse onto the countertop before removing her hair tie and marching upstairs. Minutes later, she came down, having changed from her work clothes into a t-shirt and jeans before shooting me a look of both anger and confusion.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Did…something happen?” I checked my phone in case I had missed a message, but there was nothing.

The emotions on her face subsided, replaced by realization. “So you actually didn’t know…”

“Didn’t know what?”

“That Kei Hiwatari died. We’re—”

I blocked out everything Riku said after those words, turning off the TV and stumbling towards her. I was already in my pajamas, but I didn’t care enough to change into something more presentable. My brain had shut down trying to fully process the news while Riku rambled on beside me as my legs went through the motions, carrying me to wherever the hell our destination was.

We eventually arrived at the Niwa household and walked in to see Hiwatari next to Daisuke on the floor at the low table with Saehara and Akane across from them. Mrs. Emiko, Mr. Kosuke, and Grandpa Daiki sat on the sofa, indifferent to the situation. Argentine and Towa weren’t present, probably because of extra people in the house, and Ritsuko leaned against a wall, busy with her phone. Riku, unaffected by the stifling silence, sat next to Daisuke, completely in control of the situation as she comforted Hiwatari while I took my place by Ritsuko on the outskirts of the group.

To think that Hiwatari would willingly have this many people around him during such a time without him having any qualms about their presence was not something I ever expected to witness.

“What happened?” Riku calmly asked, and her words sounded like glass shattering onto a cold, hard floor.

“Kei’s brother called him this morning saying that Kei had passed, and that he’s going to Vienna to help prepare the funeral,” Daisuke explained. “Satoshi, you don’t have to go if you—”

“I have to go,” Hiwatari adamantly said. “I just can’t go alone.”

“But your uncle will be there,” Saehara pointed out.

“I…I need one of you there with me.”

I watched the people at the table look at each other with regret. One by one, they started listing off legitimate reasons for why they couldn’t accompany Hiwatari. As much as his friends loved and cared for him, they couldn’t exactly put their lives on hold for a week. No one had the time, unfortunately. After he asked the younger adults in the room, he briefly caught my eye before shaking his head, sparing the two of us from having a contrived conversation. He turned around, about to ask the older Niwas when Riku decided to open that big, fat mouth of hers.

“What about Risa?” she asked. I bit my lip and felt Ritsuko lightly placed her hand on my arm. This wasn’t going to be pretty. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have anything planned for next week.”

“Riku, I really don’t think I’m in any position to accompany him,” I told her. “My supervisor probably won’t let me have such a long break since I was recently hired. And I’m sure Daisuke’s relatives wouldn’t mind going with him.”

“But if you can go, why do you have to bother them? After all, you’re—”

“Riku.” Hiwatari’s stern voice cut through her words. I winced. “I appreciate your sentiments, but you shouldn’t push Harada-san to come with me if she doesn’t want to. You may be her sister but that doesn’t mean that you can speak for her on her behalf.” He looked like he wanted to say more but he pursed his lips instead, as if he had to physically stop himself from whatever else might’ve poured out.

She quieted down, shocked from Hiwatari’s scolding, and the evening continued, heavy with tension despite Saehara’s best attempts at lightening the mood, until everyone started leaving. Riku wanted to head home too but, after what happened earlier, I didn’t want to be alone with her, so Daisuke accompanied her home, leaving only me and Hiwatari left. The older Niwas had retired upstairs after everyone unanimously decided that Kosuke would go with Hiwatari, and the artworks were about, cleaning up after the company.

“You…really didn’t have to do that,” I told him from my new spot across from him at the low table. “I would’ve eventually butt in once I couldn’t stand it anymore. And Riku is right in a way, you know.”

“I know, but the way she was acting pissed me off.”

“She meant well. She’s just looking out for you, that’s all.”

“It’s annoying.”

I smiled, seeing myself from several days ago. “That just means she cares.”

The ticking of the clock and the whir of the air conditioner filled the space between us. Argentine and Towa left the kitchen around then, and I shot them an apology for my last visit as they passed by to go upstairs. They replied saying that it was their mistake for not being aware of the situation, eying both Hiwatari and I as they slowly made their way up, probably wary to leave us alone. But they too eventually left, and the miscellaneous noises of the house rushed back in.

“Hey,” I carefully started, picking at my chipped nail polish. Anything to make the delivery easier and keep my attention from Hiwatari’s face. And also to get my mind off the words about to leave my mouth. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Silence, probably from processing and contemplation. “I don’t want to impose. And Kosuke is more than capable. Really.”

If anyone was imposing, it was me. “You’re not.” Now, I had to make a joke to lighten the situation. Force a smile… “Besides, Vienna sounds like a fun vacation.”

“You’re supposed to support me, not gallivant through a foreign city by your lonesome.” Failure. I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

Alright. I could still salvage this. “I’m joking.” But I kind of wasn’t. “Half joking. I’ll pay for myself. And Vienna really does sound fun to explore during our down time. Kosuke still has to come as some type of buffer and dependable support, but I’ll be there for comfort or whatever else you need. Plus, the more the merrier, right?” Damn, nervous rambling was not a part of my plan.

“…why?”

“I…don’t know. I know that I really shouldn’t be going on this trip with you but, at the same time, I can’t exactly bring myself to leave you be in that situation, especially when I know that, to some degree, I’m able to handle it. And no, it’s not because of what Riku said. It’s of my own volition.”

I couldn’t not stare at Hiwatari anymore, so I cautiously looked up from my nails. He had a gentle smile on his face. I hadn’t seen that expression in such a long time. If the table hadn’t been between us, as well as everything else in the past, he probably would’ve hugged me. Or I would’ve hugged him. Well, some sort of physical sign of gratitude would’ve occurred for sure even if it wasn’t an embrace.

“Thank you.” Those words came across as a whisper. “Let me walk you home.”

I shook my head as we both got up. “Walk me to your place.” He shot me a concerned look. “It’s already late, so I don’t want to bother anyone. You’re sleeping here tonight, too. And after your stunt earlier, I don’t think me heading back home is a good idea.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be unconscious for most of my time there, so it’s fine. And I’ll head back home tomorrow morning after I wake up. Right now, Riku needs some sleep and time by herself.”

I sent her a message telling her not to wait up for me before following Hiwatari back to his apartment. He opened his front door while I settled down on the sofa.

“You can take my bed,” he offered. I looked at him like he was insane, and he retreated into his room, coming back out with two pillows and a blanket. “Hopefully, these don’t stink.” He then left his keys on the table in front of me. “Just hand them over tomorrow. Good night, Harada-san.”

“Good night, Hiwatari-san. And thank you.”

I locked the door behind him before fixing the pillows and blanket. Surprisingly, the sofa was quite soft, his pillows were fluffy yet supportive, and his blanket was wonderfully plush but…

Well, they didn’t stink per say, but they stunk of him.

Turning on some music, I fell asleep listening to a piano, floating away from my odd present.

We had made the mutual decision not to tell anyone of the new nature of our relationship. We weren’t dating or formally boyfriend and girlfriend; rather, we danced past being just friends into a realm of confusing boundaries filled with almosts and not-quite-rights.

He came over often, about every other day or so, and we’d keep each other company until we were too spent to do anything else. Still running on an oxytocin high, we’d lay there in the dark, me usually encased in his arms, as we talked about anything and everything. He’d share little tidbits about himself, like why he liked kit-kats so much (his host parents always had some lying around, so he’d sometimes snack on a few while studying) or why he preferred sunrises to sunsets (something about how the night would give way to the day and that, during those brief moments, the world would pause just to admire the horizon’s beauty.) And, other times, he would talk about Krad or his father.

Whenever he spoke of Kei, he sounded like he was talking about a boss or a colleague: his voice was laced with respect and slight discomfort, lacking any sort of familiarity in his tone. However, as we spent more time together, that façade crumbled away as Hiwatari began to tell me stories of the Kei he knew growing up. He shared memories of playing together with him, of looking up to him, of moments filled with unimaginable joy. The picture he painted drastically contrasted that of the Kei I knew. But something happened, and the kindness that Kei once genuinely possessed became a charade he hid behind, obscuring his manipulative and selfish soul underneath.

Whatever ounce of love that was there was gone, and Hiwatari became a tool for Kei to have some control over the Hikari artworks. With a smile, he’d use cleverly veiled threats or even offer some insincere familial love to coerce Hiwatari to follow his plans. All the unspeakable events that happened were, in some way, shape, or form, the results of Kei’s orders.

Hiwatari hated Krad, but he hated Kei even more because, deep inside, he wanted to believe in those words of affirmation and love. He wanted to, and fooled himself into trusting them, until Kei had rudely reminded him of the harsh truth of his reality. He could deal with Krad’s toxicity; he was predictable, and Hiwatari eventually became numb to that parasite residing in his body. But he couldn’t deal with Kei, with the man he could no longer read. Krad could literally turn his body into a bloody mess and Hiwatari would mindlessly deal with it, but a single word from Kei sent his brain into overdrive as he fought against his logos and pathos.

And when Krad was finally sealed away for good and Kei had disappeared, Hiwatari didn’t know how to deal with this sudden freedom. Instead of properly dealing with the dependency issues thrust upon him, he flung himself towards friends and work. While Kei still had a strong hold on the poor boy, it eventually waned with time.

Alas, with the death of someone you equal parts loved and hated, anyone would find themselves struggling with their phantom once more.

After a less than restful sleep, I headed back home to freshen up for another day at work. I headed to the news station first, asking if I could take a week’s leave because of a family emergency. And when I miraculously got that, I headed straight for the police station, dropping off Hiwatari’s keys and admiring the care baskets and flowers that decorated his office before heading out to my usual spot, greeting Takeshi with a smile.

He smiled before hugging me, almost in tears at the fact that I finally used his first name. That alone just made my day.

And after I headed home, I sat in the dining room with my music deafeningly loud while I browsed apartment listings. I stumbled upon a one bed, one bath close to the cliffs with a beautiful view of the ocean. Mizuame de Noisette was close by too, so I could always drop by if I wanted to treat myself without worrying anyone. I bookmarked it, but I still went through the list to see if anything could top it.

“Boo!”

I screamed before turning around to see Riku straight from work. She had her hair up in a little stub of a ponytail, and her bangs were clipped to the side. She wore all black, reminding me of a ninja whose sole purpose was to terrify her sister.

“You’re going to blow out your eardrums if you listen to music that loudly,” she chirped, lowering its volume before taking the seat next to me. “So, what’re you doing?”

“Looking for apartments.”

“Risa, do you hate me that much that you need to leave me?” I shot her a dirty look, and she just cackled. “I kid. Has anything caught your eye?”

“Yup. If I sign the lease, move-in’s only a month away.”

“A month? But that’s when Daisuke and I are going to Zurich!” she exclaimed.

“Well, you can always visit after your trip.” And she would, inevitably, drop by after Daisuke pops the question. I bit my lip to keep myself from accidentally spilling.

“But it’s not going to be the same! Moving in is the fun part!”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun as long as you’re not around.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

We both laughed. Luckily, she hadn’t said anything about last night, so I assumed that she had gotten over it. That or the fact that she conveniently forgot about it. But, knowing her, she was waiting to bring it up, and the brief lull we found ourselves in was the perfect time to change the conversation.

“So, about last night…” she started, as if on cue. “I’m sorry. It seemed like you guys were getting along, so I thought it’d be okay.”      

“Don’t worry about it. You meant well.”

“It’s hard seeing you two act like that, especially since you two got along so well in high school. I’d never seen the two of you happier, which is saying something considering that Satoshi’s pretty content these days.”

I took in a deep breath before letting it out in a long and prominent exhale. Riku really did have a way with words. And by that, I meant that she knew exactly what to say to worsen an already sensitive situation.

“Sorry,” she quickly apologized after noticing my obvious discomfort.

“It’s fine.” We found ourselves at yet another stalemate, and the light notes of my music floated through the air. “Well, to change the subject, I’m going with Hiwatari-san and Mr. Kosuke to Vienna.”

“Are you sure? You’re not pushing yourself to go or anything?”

“Nah. It sounds like a great vacation.” Riku rolled her eyes at that. “Honestly though? I felt like I had to go. Not just to support him, because I know I can’t fully do that by myself which is why Mr. Kosuke is still going, but also for myself. For closure, you know? Maybe if I saw Hiwatari do it, I might be able to do it, too.”

“For Dark? Or for Satoshi?”

“Why mention Hiwatari-san?”

“Risa, we’re not that dumb. Everyone knows that what happened in high school was because of Satoshi. It’s just no one knows why. You two are awfully good at staying mum about it.”

“For both, I suppose.”    

She nodded before getting up. “Well, I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome by meeting the ‘dark side’ of Risa, so I’ll leave you be. Just knock on my door if you need me, good luck with searching, and you better bring me along to see the place when you tour it!”

Meekly waving her goodbye, I returned to my screen, turning the volume up so loudly that I started thinking to its beat, drowning the silence of the night with the waves of piano runs.

“Why is he here?” Risuko asked, frowning when she noticed Takeshi trailing behind me. She messaged me in the morning, asking to meet up for lunch as a check-up of sorts and, well, I was in the mood to eat out despite it being my turn to bring lunch for me and Takeshi so he, unfortunately, decided to tag along.

“For food. Don’t mind him.” Yet she very much so did, shooting him a nasty look that I could feel him returning. I headed over to the hostess, asking to be seated to avoid their petty fight that they continued when it came to deciding who would sit next to me once we arrived at our table and I, fed up with them, shot them a glare as they slunk into the seats across from me. If they couldn’t get along, the proper thing to do was have them sit together and stare at the empty spot they couldn’t have.

After the waiter took our orders and menus, Ritsuko decided to break the silence.

“How’re you feeling?” she cautiously asked.

I shrugged. “Alright? I do know that I’m excited to go to Vienna.”

“Wait, you’re going with him?” they simultaneously asked, shooting each other a disgusted look before returning to me.

“Are you sure you’re not pushing yourself?” Ristuko’s voice was laced with concern.

“You shouldn’t have to feel obligated to go because no one else can,” Takeshi added.

Even though this was starting like my conversation with Riku last night, I didn’t want it to follow the same direction it did, so I had to come up with an excuse.

“Well, Mr. Kosuke is dependable, but he’s more of a family member and mentor than a friend. And sometimes you just need a friend.”

“You two aren’t exactly friends,” Ritsuko pointed out. Crap. Bad call. “Out of all of us, you’re the least qualified to go with him.”

“We’re just worried about you two, yanno? Dealing with the death of that jackass of a father isn’t something you can just casually deal with.” I expected him to make some type of gesture, like one of those detectives when they’re explaining something in the movies, but he sat there with his arms resting on the table like any other person. “You probably know a helluva lot more about that douchebag than me for sure, but that’s a heavy burden you’re going to help him carry. You’re gonna have to be strong if you want to support Satoshi because you’re getting yourself into a situation where the past and present are gonna intertwine into a terrifying beast, and it might be too much for you to handle.”

“I know.” The waiter came by, dropping off our waters. I laughed when he left, and both Ritsuko and Takeshi watched me in confusion. “Sorry, I just never thought I’d have a serious conversation with you, Takeshi.”

He shot me a toothy grin. “Chief said the same thing a while back.”

And with that, the conversation returned to casual ground. Ritsuko and Takeshi argued, somehow still unable to get along with each other for some reason. At some point, I was worried that they’d start flinging their food at each other, but they still had some shred of decorum. (This is considering the fact that they started to kick each other under the table, however that works whenever you’re kicking someone sitting next to you.)

When we left the restaurant, Ritsuko pulled me into a hug, wishing me well. Her hands lingered on my shoulder much longer than necessary. She probably meant it as encouragement, as well as a silent message to rethink my decision, before elegantly walking away in her heels.

Work went along just like any other day until it was time for Takeshi to leave. Instead of flying out those doors as soon as he was off the clock, he sat next to me with his attention on his phone. He left when Hiwatari walked out, but the two of them stood outside the station and talked as if they were waiting for someone.

After I edited the last story, I packed up and walked outside, about ready to just pass the men by until Takeshi stopped me.

“Um…see ya tomorrow, Risa.” Takeshi never seemed at a loss for words; in fact, he just couldn’t contain what he wanted to share with the world. But, at that moment, he sounded like he was struggling to even string a sentence together, as if, for once, he had no idea what to say. Takeshi hesitated, and I realized that his prolonged presence was along the same lines as Ritsuko’s earlier gesture before he finally walked off at a normal pace with his hands in his pockets.

He probably wanted to walk me home, but Hiwatari said something. Hiwatari always did something, if I had to be honest.

“You scared him off,” I teased even though I wished that Takeshi didn’t leave.

“He had somewhere to be is all,” he smoothly replied, but we both knew that that was a lie. “Is it alright if I accompany you home for the day?”

“Why the sudden urge for chivalry?”

“I just…I wanted to talk to you. Lighten the load before we head off to Vienna?”

“Why not dissuade me like the level-headed person you are?”

“Well, I would, but you’re awfully stubborn when you’ve already set your mind on something. And, despite our circumstances, knowing that you’re there gives me a sense of comfort that even Kosuke couldn’t grant me.”

Somewhere inside, his words made me wince. And so, we headed back home in the twilight as we chatted. I learned about why Ritsuko and Takeshi still couldn’t get along. (He had somehow accidentally sabotaged a good date and potential relationship, and there was no way in hell that she was going to let it go anytime soon.) Hiwatari also talked about Daisuke’s potential proposal plan which resulted in us having second-hand embarrassment from the likely case that something goes completely wrong.

“That was nice,” I told Hiwatari at the gate, reluctantly admitting to myself that I was enjoying his casual presence. “Thank you for walking me.”

He shook his head. “No, thank you for letting me walk with you.”

I had half a mind to say farewell so I could spent the evening berating myself at my sudden change in heart, but I paused halfway through the gate and turned around. “Would you—um—like to stay for dinner?”

Hiwatari blinked, caught off-guard by my offer, before giving me a small smile to offset his initial shock. “Sure. Thank you.”

He pushed the already open gate wider, waiting for me to fully walk in before letting it shut behind us. I awkwardly fumbled with my keys, trying not to crack under Hiwatari’s scrutinizing gaze before I finally opened the door to see Riku, dressed up for work, at the countertop.

She turned around to see us. “Hey, Risa! And what’s up, Satoshi?”

“Hopefully not Kei,” he responded, and my sister laughed. “Are you headed for work?”

“Yup. In a bit. I’ve been trying to plan our trip to Zurich, but I don’t know what I really want to do.”

“I can send you suggestions later if you’d like.”

“That’d be great. Thanks, Satoshi!” She closed her laptop before hopping off the highchair. “I’ll be off then! You two better behave while I’m gone!” Her cackling lingered in the air long after she closed the door behind her.

“Well, make yourself comfortable,” I told him. “I’m going to ask my parents what they want for dinner.”

“Are you…cooking?” he cautiously asked.

“Yes.” His face blanched. “I’m not that bad, okay? I’ve learned my way around the kitchen after living alone for the past six years.”

He still looked unconvinced, so I left him and headed off to my parents’ room. I knocked on their door and, getting permission to come in, I saw them sitting on the bed next to each other as they watched a movie. My mom leaned on my dad’s shoulder, about ready to fall asleep when she noticed me at the door. She turned to me with a polite smile while my dad turned the volume down.

Usually, I would linger to chat about their day before leaving, but I had quickly asked them what they wanted for dinner (mapo tofu) before leaving the room. They weren’t doing anything remotely disturbing, but I felt awkward, as if stumbled upon something intimate.

Retreating into the kitchen, I grabbed a beer and packaged baumkuchen before joining Hiwatari, who was watching The Phantom of the Opera. I took the seat next to him, trying to disregard the disapproving look on his face.

“You’re going to ruin your dinner.”

“Leave me be,” I grumbled, hearing the click of the can opening and tearing the plastic keeping me away from my cake. “And I didn’t pin you as a musical kind of guy.”

“I watched an official showing during a trip in Prague, and I’ve liked musicals ever since.” He paused. “Miss Saigon’s my favorite.”

I had a stifle a laugh since Christine and Raoul were on the screen, singing their love from the rooftop. Imagine this: Hiwatari sitting in the audience, completely enchanted with the love story unfolding before him. When the scene changed, I excused myself into the kitchen to start cooking and laugh at that mental image. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that Hiwatari had followed me into the kitchen, so I turned around to see him slightly pouting.

“It was touching,” he explained, as if that would help him save face. It only made me laugh harder.

“Touching?” I managed to breathe. “When did you become a sap?”

“When I spent too much time watching dramas with Emiko, Towa, and Argentine, but it might’ve been your grand delusions of romance that started it all.”

I stopped laughing. “Excuse me? My grand delusions of romance? How dare you—”

“Harada-san, at the rate that we’re going, we’re not going to finish cooking dinner tonight.”

“We?”

“As your guest, I insist on helping you. I trust myself to some degree in the kitchen. More so than you, at least.”

Letting his well-meant yet somewhat brutal concern roll off of me, I asked him to wash and cut the vegetables while I cubed the tofu. I finished fairly quickly, putting the tofu aside in a bowl before turning to watch Hiwatari, ever so serious with the mushrooms.

Both of us were helpless cooks in high school. After I moved to Tokyo though, I lived on convenience store food and school food until my friends held an intervention and helped me learn how to cook. Watching Hiwatari carefully cut up those vegetables, awkwardly holding them with his left hand, made me laugh. He looked like he was performing a surgery and not something as menial as cooking.

When he finished them, I tossed them into the pan where the ground beef was already cooking before adding the seasonings. And when all that was left was to leave the food on the stove for a bit, I opened up another can of beer.

K-chk.

“Should you be having another one?” Hiwatari asked wearily.

“It’s the end of the week, and I’m home.”

He nodded, either accepting that answer or deciding not to bother dissuading me. “Hand me one.”

I handed him a can with a smirk. “Are you sure this is enough for you?” I asked, vaguely referencing the huge stash I stumbled upon at his apartment.

“More than enough,” he answered taking a sip, completely unaware of what I was insinuating. “Any more than this, and both Daisuke and Takeshi would have my ass.”

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of how to respond. Sure, that sounded hilarious but—wait, could it be possible that Hiwatari’s worse than me when drunk?

“There’ve been too many instances in which things have happened, so I drink sparingly in public. My apartment, however, is fair game.” He shot me a smirk, and I returned an awkward smile. I didn’t really need the mental image of Hiwatari bumbling around his apartment completely wasted.

We returned to the movie, waiting until the food finished cooking. I called my parents when it was done, and the three of us returned to the table to see Hiwatari setting down the bowls. (He knew where they were?) They greeted each other, quite familiarly, before we dug into the food that everyone complimented me on. I spent most of dinner silent, watching my parents animatedly speak with Hiwatari who was equally engaged. And when we finished, my parents and Hiwatari tided up the table and shooed me upstairs. I changed out of my work clothes into something more comfortable, wiping the makeup off my face before heading downstairs to see that they had finished and moved onto the couch, watching TV while casually chatting.

I paused at the bottom of the stairs, taking in the scene as an observer. My parents knew Hiwatari since middle school, and they treated him as one of my friends from school whenever he was over back then. But this wasn’t polite small talk. This was friends who often spent time together, just like a makeshift family.

Family? How did this happen? Was it because I was gone? Did Hiwatari conveniently fill the hole that my absence had opened? I just knew, from looking at them, that I had no place in this living room scene, and I quietly headed back up to prepare for seeing the apartment tomorrow and, possibly, signing the lease.

In the middle of a Tsum Tsum game, I heard a knock on my door. After telling whoever it was to come in, the door swung open. Hiwatari stood at the threshold, unmoving, as if there was an invisible barrier keeping him from stepping inside.

“Riku’s here, so I’ll be heading back now.” He slightly bowed. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Thank you for helping me make it. And for keeping my parents company.”

Those last words hurt to utter, but I just forced a small smile to hide the tension building inside me. He didn’t notice, instead nodding before turning around. “Be safe,” I called after him as he walked down the hallway before disappearing from my line of sight. I returned to my phone, trying to tune out the sound of laughter coming from downstairs.

I stood there, face to face with an unconscious Hiwatari in a sterile hospital room. Daisuke and Riku were elsewhere in their own beds, fully conscious and harboring injuries that would only keep them here for a couple more days. I, miraculously, only came out of that ordeal with small bruises and scratches but…

I sat in one of the chairs, taking in the emptiness of his room. My parents were dutifully by Riku’s side, and her room was stuffed with beautiful bouquets, balloons, fruit baskets and gifts galore. She was also healing well. Daisuke’s room was filled with his rambunctious family and food, and his vitality was slowly trickling back after Dark’s final farewell.

But Hiwatari? All he had was this bare room and the possibility that he might not make it. At the time, I only pitied the state that he was in, unaware that this was yet another entry on his ever-growing list of unfortunate events that’ve plagued his life since birth. And that these burdens had estranged him from the human basics of family, friends, and any other forms of love.

He honestly deserved everything he had now. He deserved that job, his unofficial family, and the friends he could finally hold close to him. Perhaps it was my stubbornness that kept me away from that, from finally stepping into my own shoes and living my life. Because Hiwatari moved past everything, but I had decided to wallow in the past and turn the other direction.

And that same stubbornness that kept me away from everyone here who had, some way or another, learned how to live without me.

Riku walked into the kitchen while I had a croissant hanging from my mouth. “Good morning, floating croissant! Here’s to another butter-ful day!” She laughed, tearing off a piece of the pastry before plopping it into her mouth.

I took the croissant out of my mouth. “That was awful.”

“Aw. I thought you liked puns.”

“I think it’s just too early for me to appreciate them right now,” I grumbled, quickly finishing my breakfast.

Riku decided to have some eggs with toast, so I put some bread in the toaster while she labored over the stove. My parents couldn’t accompany me today for reasons I couldn’t recall (or maybe never received), so it was just me and Riku checking out the apartment.

“I can’t wait to see the place,” she said when we finally left the house, basking in the morning sun.

“You’ll love it. The realtor said that I found a steal.”

“Of course you would.”

Groaning at her remark, I ignored her chuckling as we made our way to the apartment. Despite Riku’s pleasant conversation, I couldn’t help but think about how weird it was that my parents weren’t with me. If they’re able to, parents would want to see their child’s new home, right?

Maybe I only had them on my mind because of last night. Growing up, Riku and I weren’t particularly close to them because they were busy with work some way or another. Riku told me they cut down on their hours shortly after I left because their age was catching up to them, and they’ve apparently gotten really close since then. They’d also gotten really close to Hiwatari, too.

I wished I could chalk up their absence to denial at their daughter growing up, but seeing how much they talked to Hiwatari last night, I really didn’t know. Was it unfamiliarity? Was it those six years that I’ve been gone? Or was it a lack of an extremely meaningful relationship during the eighteen years prior to my leave?

Honestly, I thought Hiwatari would be my only problem moving here. Yet there I was, sitting in the trolley and facing the existential crisis hidden by Hiwatari’s initially problematic presence.

Luckily, this trip wasn’t long enough for me to continue down that devastating train of thought, as we arrived at the apartment where the realtor greeted us with a smile. She led us up to the room, allowing us to revel at the wonderful furnishings, big windows, and spacious floorplan.

“If you don’t get this, I’m going to hold it against you for the rest of your life,” she whispered as we headed downstairs to see if I wanted to finalize this decision.

“Well, I’m getting it, so you have one less thing to hang over my head.”

Minutes later, I became the new tenant of apartment 314, at least comforted in the fact that I finally had my own place.

“You really like this café, don’t you?”

We headed towards the cash register, looking at the menu scrawled out above it. “Yeah, you could say that.”

When we finally ordered, the cashier asked if that was all, shooting me a knowing look. I nodded, focused on that ever-present, cordial smile on her face as she greeted the next customer.

Riku chose to sit at the table where I usually spent my drunken evenings, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile at that. We casually talked until a waiter dropped our orders off.

“Is that all you’re going to eat?” she asked, suspiciously eying the house salad in front of me.

“Yeah. Why?” Her pasta covered in a cream-based sauce and bowl of hearty soup looked wonderful, but I knew eating that now would be too much. My body could only handle light meals during stressful times, and I was flying out to Vienna in less that twelve hours.

“It’s just odd seeing you eat such healthy food.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She laughed as I crunched on my salad, feigning frustration. I really did miss hanging out with Riku like this.

“You know, it’s weird,” she said, somewhat wistful. “At this age, I thought you’d have a steady boyfriend or even be married while I’d be forever single, wholly uninterested in dating.”

“And yet you’re the one with a boyfriend you’ve been in a relationship with for more than ten years, and I’m the one ‘woefully’ single.”

“Was it Dark?” she calmly asked, channeling that uncanny ability of hers to escalate an innocent conversation.

“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping that she would stop herself if I acted dense.

“That kept you single.”

Apparently, she was dead set on digging. “I don’t think so. I loved him. He loved me. And we were star-crossed lovers that were never meant to be. If anything, it probably was the huge emotional dependency that came with that relationship that’s kept me single.”

“And Hiwatari only made it worse.”

“…yeah. Even though we were friends, I carried a lot from that relationship. More so than Ritsuko and Mari combined.”

Riku raised her eyebrows, as if my claim that Hiwatari and I were friends wasn’t true. “We were friends! F-R-I-E-N-D-S! Why is that not registering in your brain?!”

She laughed. “Sorry. It’s too awkward for me to see you mope like that. And, well, any relationship comes with emotional dependency. You just have to find one that doesn’t have one as high as those.”

“I know.”

“So was it just the emotional dependency issues keeping you from dating?”

It wasn’t. I never even gave any of those guys I went on dates with a chance. Just the idea of letting them in and getting attached to them romantically scared me. If I couldn’t trust myself in a state of infatuation, how could I trust anyone else while I was in said state? To give them a part of me only to have them drop it on the floor in an instant? Who wouldn’t find that absolutely terrifying?

Sure, most of the breakups I’ve heard never reached such dramatic extremes, but I still—

“The fact that you’re not answering me means that there’re more reasons, but you don’t want to tell me about them.” She shook her head. “If this happened because of life in general, I’m sorry and slightly worried about you. But I swear, if it’s someone else’s fault that turned you into someone unwilling to pursue romance, they’re going to have to pay for what they’ve done!” She waved her fork around, almost as if she was practicing for their meeting.

I laughed, appreciating her humorous take on supporting me. But if she ever did find out, I wasn’t sure what she’d do. There were too many possibilities, but I knew they would all be awful.

Once we finished our meal, after transitioning into some talk about skincare, I ordered a drink. Two drinks. Okay, more than two drinks. Riku just watched me with amusement and enlightenment.

“So this is where you go to lose yourself!”

“I can’t help it! These drinks are good!”    

“Yeah, good for worrying other people!”

“Come on! Just try a sip! Please!”

She took one. “Okay. I admit it. They’re pretty good, but I’m leaving you here if you have one more.

I whimpered, but she just laughed before looking out the window. I followed her gaze to the sun setting, casting its warm hues on the ocean and filling me with a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in far too long.

“You’re gifted with such a lovely view every day.” She sighed. “One day, there’s going to be someone who’s going to find you to be just as beautiful as this. You’re going to find them equally, if not more, beautiful in return, and that feeling you have right now? That’s how it’s going to feel. None of this despair and anxiety: just peace.”

I blinked, shifting my attention towards Riku, who had a comforting smile on her face. She extended her hand, patting me on the shoulder before grabbing my drink and quickly chugging it down.

“Enough of this mushy stuff; I’m starting to creep myself out.”

Silence.

I focused on my breathing, trying to block out my heartbeats booming in my ears. No matter how hard I tried to run away from my truth, it always came back loud and clear: a deafening reminder of what I gave and couldn’t receive in return.

“Risa?” he asked, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. “Are you still awake?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I…never thought I’d get this close to anyone.”

“What about Daisuke?”

“Am I currently cradling him in my arms?”

“Well, no. And you shouldn’t because he’s taken.”

His chest rumbled as he laughed, but the atmosphere that briefly lightened turned heavy again. The intimacy returned once more, and something inside of me was slowly dying.

“After everything, I never thought that I would ever let anyone else into my life. But then Daisuke came along, bringing you, Riku, and that family of his into this once very small world of mine. The days I’ve spent with you all, especially considering how much time I thought I had left, are precious to me. But the moments with you are the ones I cherish the most.”

“Because you love me?” I asked, mouth dry from those empty words.

“Yes, because I love you very, very much…”

I rolled over, nuzzling my pillow to drone out the crescendo and fluctuating rhythm inside me. Hiwatari copied my motions, spooning me from behind. His fingers grazed my heck as he brushed my hair aside, leaving butterfly kisses that trailed from my hairline to the nape of my neck. One of his hands found itself under my shirt, slightly caressing my sides.

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on anything but his searing touch.

Perhaps he found peace in these moments with me because he finally had a home for his heart that the Niwas, that Daisuke even, couldn’t offer him. And I wanted to find that peace too, to feel safe in his arms, but I couldn’t just contently wear the blindfold I had forced upon myself. It hurt too much.

The happiness I initially found myself embroiled with quickly waned as my feelings grew, having come to terms with the fact that I had found myself in a fruitless relationship that I had no intention or energy to pull myself out of. All I could do was foolishly trust my heart to someone who could offer no concrete promises, subjecting myself to a flow I never had any control over. I would “enjoy” the moment before mentally berating myself for it, rinsing and repeating until…

Well, either way, unless a miracle occurred, I’d find myself broken anyway.

After that ridiculously long flight, I stumbled into the baggage claim, more than ready to collect my luggage and get some fresh Viennese air. Kosuke, despite Hiwatari and I being adults perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves, fussed over us as he fixed our hair and straightened as much as he could of our wrinkled clothing.

I hobbled over to Hiwatari, struggling to keep myself upright after being immobile for far too long. “Aren’t we meeting your uncle at the airport?”

“Yes, he should be here soon.”

I yawned. “Well, he better, because I don’t know how much longer I can—”

“Satoshi! It’s been so long!”

My blood went cold.