Charles died trying to protect a Pakistani boy from a hate crime. Charles, a half Indian person, died- like fuck I'm so emotional about this.
"I mean I'm half Indian, why am I so different?"
Listen. Given the history of the IndoPak conflict, we aren't talking about the subtle implications of this line enough. Not only did Charles look at this kid and see himself in him, he tackled the xenophobia at face value—no strings attached, no connotations, history be damned. And what undoes me even more is that he believed that boy was no different from him and therefore did not deserve to be treated that way. He never once showed any regret for doing what he did. And that is so so telling of Charles, in a much deeper sense than we might realise at first.
Charles was always a protector through and through. He died for it. And even after, no matter who it was, he never stopped being a protector. But in that moment specifically, that act of immigrant solidarity?? It was like... an entire lifetime of history classes and unending geopolitical strife and debates about who deserves to live and who doesn't just flashed before my eyes when Charles took one look at him and went "Oh fuck no. I'm no different. We're in this together and I'm not leaving you alone". I cannot stress enough how much that healed me :')))
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Since I very much enjoy the idea of Edwin being permanently a little fucked up after his 2nd trip to hell and everything with Esther, I have made a few posts about that if you're interested ~ I think a potential part of that would be to consider if Charles, and Crystal, ever battle feelings of guilt about being the reason they all ended up in Port Townsend.
Like, I wonder if when they finally got everything calmed down and are back home, if the night nurse absent-mindedly says something about the possession of Esther being the thing that got her department involved and Charles just gets this horrible sinking in his gut.
And then he starts thinking about everything and how it might have looked to Edwin.
How he and Crystal pushed Edwin to go to Port Townsend, and how often they all ended up with Crystal and Edwin facing each other to argue and Charles physically on Crystal's side.
Possessing Esther even though Edwin had always told him to never do that and how confident he had been that nothing was going to happen and Edwin was just being Edwin.
How his response to Edwin coming back leashed and clearly upset about the cat king was to give him shit and push over and over on the topic.
Letting Edwin get taken to hell again, even though Charles had been right there.
Esther.
Niko.
Also, when they learn Crystal willing let David in and how potentially upsetting that could be to Edwin? Even if Charles didn't know a lot about hell, and I don't think he did, demons must be something that kind of trip Edwin up a little, right? Maybe those cases make him go a little quieter, more likely to stick close to Charles, etc.
They got Niko out of Port Townsend, and they ended up in a better position with the Lost and Found department by the end of everything, but still.
Everytime Edwin now flinches away from the light because he's got a headache, or he's so exhausted after a case that Charles basically has to carry him back, or an iron burn takes much longer to heal then it ever has... the guilt makes Charles feel like he's going to get sick.
Maybe Edwin also checks out a little more then he did previously, eyes going a little hazy and clearly not seeing or hearing them. He doesn't talk and he'll just sit there, sometimes for days. Charles has to coax him onto the couch for a little more comfort, getting him to lay down even though it really doesn't do anything, Edwin always going easily to wherever Charles nudges him. He doesn't know exactly where Edwin goes during those zone outs but he can guess and it's nothing good.
🌙🌙🌙
This no way meant to say anything bad about any of the characters and if you take it that way then you didn't pay attention. Charles is usually really good with people and really good with Edwin, but I think he got so distracted by Crystal that things just got messy. And once things started spiraling, it just kept going.
Edwin is absolutely not blameless in all this either and I love Crystal but the beginning of the relationships between all of them was a hot mess.
We've all at some point, been brushed aside for something shiny and new. It's a terrible feeling. Add in the fact that Charles is basically Edwin's only person and his world got very small and lonely, very quickly.
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