#SKIPPER IS A LOSER

[karastears]

The four genders: slut, loser, princess and baby girl

[homefryboy]

smacc dat

(commissions open)

[broflovski-brah]

i very much want a fic of kyle getting his wisdom teeth removed and being high af on anesthetics because it sounds fun.

also i have to get mine removed in a few weeks and im highkey scared lmfao

[dilfsuzanneyk]

thinking about that post where op calls Skipper Dan a sexyman. they were so very real for that

[zeezelweazel]

LOVED the last Leah smut it got me thinking would you be interested in writing something inspired by the new Dyson commercial that one scene where she's on her knees?

Leah Williamson| Sore Loser|

____________________________________________________

I know it's been a while since that commercial but... we were all thinking it don't lie

TW: strap on use, praise kink, mommy kink, light bondage, degradation, taking pictures during sex,

____________________________________________________

Your girlfriend is insanely competitive. Leah is always doing the most to win whenever there's any sort of competition. Especially when it comes to football. It doesn't matter if it's an important match or a friendly, Leah wants to win. But that's not how football works. Losing is a part of the game.

A part of the game Leah definitely doesn't know how to handle.

The skipper all but slapped your hand away when you went to her after the final whistle. You watched with a frown as she went straight for the tunnels, ignoring or snapping at anyone who tried to talk to her.

This is why the blonde is in this position right now. It's not a punishment, you know that's not what Leah needs, just a little something to help her forget about the match and arsenal's horrible performance.

"You look so pretty baby, taking my cock like a good slut."

Leah whines and tries to hide her face in her arms that are tied in front her. Your girlfriend always looked amazing from this view. Ass up, exposing her wet pussy for you to take, with her upper body pushed down on the bed. What makes it even better though is the gorgeous jersey she is currently wearing. It belongs to you with your number and your last name proudly printed on the back. You pull the fabric down a little bit, just to make sure that you can see your name clearly before you start slowly grinding your hips against Leah's.

You've teased the blonde quite a lot today and you're more than impressed with how well she's taken it. You've been completely still inside her for some time now, simply content on snapping pictures of her rather than actually fucking her. Leah is dripping, her juices smeared on her inner thighs and her muscles twitch pathetically at the slightest of movement.

You enjoy having her like this, when she's so desperate a single touch sends her into overdrive.

You rub the soft flesh of her ass appreciatively and hum in delight when Leah's breath hitches. The slow grind of your hips doesn't stop as you start to paw and squeeze at her ass and Leah whimpers and squirms. She mumbles something, her voice muffled by her hands. "I didn't hear you baby."

Leah throws a glance over her shoulder, her blue eyes full of desperate tears when they meet yours, and she whines needily.

"Please mommy, fuck me. I need you."

You grin menacingly when Leah finally begs like the sweet girl she is. You pull out all the way before slamming back in with a powerful thrust. Leah moans loudly and her head falls back down in between her tied hands. You go with slow but hard and deep thrusts making sure to hit all the spots that make her squeal and scream. You groan at the sight of the usually dominant captain on her knees for you moaning and whining like a whore and you pick up your phone once more this time angling the phone so you can capture her greedy cunt swallowing your strap. Leah clenches hard around the strap when she hears the clicking sound of your phone's camera and you smirk down at her.

"God you're such a pathetic slut for mommy." Leah doesn't answer but you don't expect her too, the blonde's brain so high on pleasure that the only thing she can do is moan and scream for you. After you put your phone down you rub over her clit with your free hand and thrashes against the soft sheets of the bed.

"Oh god! Please mommy I wanna come!"

You offer nothing but a chuckle at Leah's pleas as you continue to pound her into the mattress mercilessly. You feel Leah's clit throb against your fingers and you push her head against the sheets when the blonde starts begging again. Leah gets the message and shuts up, hoping that she can hold on long enough because the last thing she wants is to come without permission. You feel the other end of the strap pushing deep in you and you chase your own high, forgetting about Leah for a while.

You groan and grip Leah's hips tightly while your hips stutter and your pace turns fast and sloppy. "You're so fucking tight baby. I'm gonna to come. You want mommy to come inside your pretty cunt?"

"Yes, please!"

You moan quietly and topple over leah as you feel your orgasm approach quickly. Leah on the other hand couldn't fight back her tears. She was bitting her lip hard trying not to come, she oh so desperately wants to be a good girl for you. You take a while to gather yourself after you come. When you do you turn your head towards Leah, moving her hair away from her face and you coo when you notice the tear tracks on her cheeks. You press chaste kisses on her skin and rub her clit again. Leah moans and grinds her hips down on your hand. You pull back to focus on your thrusts not wanting to tease Leah any longer.

"Come for me pretty girl. I know you want to."

Leah comes with a scream after a few seconds but you don't stop your movements, helping Leah ride out her high. After a few minutes of pressing soft kisses all over Leah's face you pull out slowly.

You always feel bad whenever Leah looses a match. Mainly because of how sad she gets. But when you think about how she lets you ravish her after you secretly hope arsenal looses every game.

____________________________________________________

[asexualasshat]

Y’all remember the tiktok trend where grown ups realized that they’d forgotten how to skip. Headcannon that one, a few years after Derry part 2, Richie is being a silly sappy little fellow. Starts skipping while he and Eddie are a park or whatever. He grabs Eddie’s hand to bring him along for the ride. And Eddie??? Understands the hypothetical concept of skipping. And yet his feet? Doing a sort of botched gallop.

And Richie LOSES IT! Starts roasting him. And Eddie is freaking tf out. He’s yelling but also still trying to figure skipping out. You can’t really tell if he’s yelling more at Richie or at himself. And he’s still galloping away. Richie is on the ground, holding his face in his hands to muffle his laughter.

Eventually, Richie gets up and he starts coaching Eddie. Twenty minutes later, they’re hand in hand, skipping down the path.

Richie didn’t have a choice but to tell the losers everything. And the groupchat?? LOSES IT! At first? Just roasts tf out of Eddie at first. Ben comes to his defence pretty quickly. And then asks “when was the last time you guys skipped? Are you sure you remember?”

And the accusations fly right back at Ben. Asking him if he can skip. And Ben??? In his office wearing his fancy designer work clothes???? Takes a video of himself skipping. And he sure can skip! When he’s done showing off he comes close to the camera and says “we just had a daughter. I’ve prepared.”

And again, they’re going wild. Within minutes, videos start pouring in. Bev is first, obviously immediately ready to support her husband. She’s a dazzling skipper. She’d win first prize in a skipping competition. The technique is impeccable.

Stan is next. He gets Patty into it as well, to know one’s surprise. Neither is perfect. Patty’s footwork isn’t perfect but she has pizazz. Stan is pure technique, to the point that it’s awkwardly stiff. But the pair are smiling and skipping so it doesn’t even matter. Their own daughter just toddles around in the background. Kind of embarrassing for her, but she doesn’t know what embarrassment is yet.

Mike is out in a field, phone probably propped up on his water bottle or a log. He’s mostly just frolicking around, but there’s a few solid skips in there. It’s gloriously cinematic.

Audra is on camera next, and bill can be heard saying “show me! I want to see.” She hangs in the air longer than any mortal should be able to. Her flowy dress flounces out. She giggles in response to bill saying “wow!” and “you’re really good!”

But then hepassed the phone to Audra. Of course they don’t think to stop filming in between, so you hear all the shuffling. Audra says “okay, show me!” And Bill?? The bitch can’t get his feet off the ground. There’s no elevation at all. Audra is losing her mind. She’s scream laughing. Bill looks devastated.

A moment after his own roasting begins, bill texts back “so does this mean I’m a bad dad?” And immediately it turns to dad comfort. Ben’s “kids don’t usually start to try skipping until they’re four. You have two years to practice!” And Stan’s “your son is going to see you learn and grow as a man. You’re setting a great example.” Its really quite wholesome.

Obviously someone filmed it in the park. The world sees the graceful pursuit of Eddie learning to skip. Twitter obviously loves it because it so so silly and sweet. Richie tweets something stupid like (and funnier than) “bet your husband can’t skip, either.”

And Bev, because she has notifications on for Richie, immediately replies with Ben’s video and saying “my husband could beat your husband”

More videos start pouring in. Stan keeps their video as a groupchat exclusive, but tweets from his rarely active account “Richie I literally taught you how to skip when you were 6.” Richie responds calling him a bitch.

Bill posts their video saying “watch me realize I can’t skip.”

And later. Hours later. Many. Hours. Later. Audra posts a video to her insta story. She has taught Bill how to skip. Is it graceful? No. Does it have technique? No. Could you call it good? No. But goddamn he skipped.

Eddie holds it over him for weeks that he’s the better beginner skipper

[offender42085]

Post 1146

Brett D Pelham, Florida inmate G40742, born 2002, incarceration intake October 2020 at age 18, scheduled for release February 2034

Homicide-Negligent Vehicular Manslaughter

In January 2020, Brett Pelham pleaded guilty to two counts for the crash that killed Jill Mandeville, 33, in Cape Coral in 2018. Pelham, then 16, was skipping school, driving 86 mph through a residential community and ran a stop sign before striking Mandeville's car, killing her instantly.

While Pelham's defense attorney, had asked for nine years in prison when Pelham pleaded guilty, at the sentencing hearing in July 2020 he asked for as little as six months in a juvenile rehabilitation center. The family of Jill Mandeville hoped for 25 years. 

The defense attorney also said the two charges, vehicular homicide and driving without a license causing death, amounted to double jeopardy. The judge amended the lesser charge to driving without a license, a 60-day misdemeanor. 

Pelham was sentenced to a 15-year sentence and the Mandeville family said that they were pleased with the term.

Co-workers, friends, ministers and relatives wrote 55 individual letters to the Judge, telling him just how important Jill was to them. With the help of Mother's Against Drunken Driving supporters, the family was successful in persuading the court to have all the letter read out loud into the court record.

The defense attorney had three people testify on Pelham's behalf, hoping to get the minimum penalty: a psychologist, a case worker in the juvenile justice system, and Jill Mandeville's mother's half-sister, Elizabeth "Jo" McNurlan, of Tampa.

McNurlan said she and Pelham had exchanged letters while he's been in jail. She said by giving Pelham a prison sentence, the world will have lost "a second person who doesn't deserve to be lost. "We can’t help Jill, but we can help Brett," she said.

Dr. Stephen Bloomfield testified that Pelham's brain wasn't done growing and adolescent brains aren't like adults.  The defense asked the judge to accept Bloomfield's findings.

"One of the biggest pieces of information that we can’t overstate is that Brett was 16 when this happened," he said. "He was a child. Since he was a child, he should not be sentenced as an adult to adult prison."  

On rebuttal, the prosecuting attorney told the judge that he shouldn't treat Pelham lightly. "You don’t get a pass because you are a juvenile for killing," the prosecuting attorney said. "The state wants you to send him to prison."

When the judge announced the sentence, Pelham's mother, Courtney Skipper, let out a sob, yelling "oh my, God, no" while leaping to her feet. She yelled "I love you, I love you so much," while pointing at Pelham before running from the courtroom. 

She soon returned to talk to Pelham, abruptly turning to leave and, looking at the family of Jill Mandeville, telling hem "You're all losers, too."

Pelham was the second teen sentenced in Jill Mandeville's death.

Morgan Skau of Cape Coral allowed Pelham to drive her father's truck, despite knowing Pelham did not have a driver's license.

With him in the truck, Skau was sentenced for her role in the crash to six months of probation, the Judge tellling her if he was allowed to give her jail time, he would have. 

4j

[lemurblog]

The simple reason Clover could beat any penguin individually and all four as a group is she can win against an entire pack of fossa while all four penguins were going to die fighting the same fossa. Clover is my favorite loser at life but she is stronger and more skilled than skipper enough where she easily has fun destroying animals that skipper would lose against. Clover, a tiny lemur, accomplishes the same effect as A LION

Regarding who's more experienced, it's not accurate to say Skipper has more experience than her, even if you believe he's older. Clover has been surviving in the wild and fighting relentlessly against deadly predators designed to kill her during all the years Skipper was living safely in a zoo. That's the definition of having more experience.

Clover in her free time boxes large mammals for fun every week, and she takes them out with one punch. Meanwhile, Skipper in a cage match against a large mammal was such a threatening dilemma for him to survive that it was the plot of a whole episode.

[operation-penguin]

Hot take

Penguins should have been more neutral than some world saving group

Keep them scrapppy

penguins movie is the second worst movie and this is one of the reasons why. they (Skipper) are supposed to take themselves too seriously while doing loser ass tasks. you're so real anon <3

[theguythatcollectsdolls]

I absolutely LOVE the fact that scalpers are trying to sell the 60th anniversary Skipper dolls on eBay at ridiculous prices, even if she’s still in stock 😂

Nice try losers

[barbielore]

@thebreakfastgenie asked about Kelly and as it’s her birthday around about now I figured I had best oblige.

The most important thing about Kelly is that Kelly is no longer. Officially this is not because Kelly has vanished from the timeline or been shipped off to boarding school or whatever unfortunate fate befalls discontinued characters like Midge and Alan’s twins or Tutti (more on Tutti later — I have a post in my queue about her). Actually, Kelly has changed her name to Chelsea.

The second interesting thing about Kelly is that I have absolutely no idea how old she is meant to be. This is probably a related phenomenon to Skipper, who was introduced as an elementary school character and aged over the course of approximately 50 real life years to her mid to late teens, but Kelly has been a part of the line for a much shorter amount of time.

The earliest Kelly-branded doll that I am aware of is as flower girl in Midge and Alan’s wedding in 1991.

In this release, she looks to be of a comparable age to Todd, and though I’m no expert in assessing doll ages I’d assume she’s no younger than 5, but no older than 9 in this release.

However as you may or may not know, Todd is more likely to be presented as comparable in age to Kelly’s older sister (and Barbie and Skipper’s younger sister) Stacie. I assume this early Kelly is really the character who would eventually become Stacie.

The next release of Kelly was three years later in 1994 - as Barbie’s new “baby sister”.

Although described as a baby on the box, I think it’s fair to say that Kelly is depicted as a toddler, in the ballpark of 2 years old.

That is on track with a 1996 release, in which Kelly could be potty trained.

Kelly “really drinks and wets” in this release and given how excited she is to use the toilet, I think it’s fair to say she’s toddler aged here also.

Like many young ones though, it seems as though Kelly didn’t grasp the toilet right away as she is still gaining independence with the toilet in the 2004 release, Tinkle Time Kelly.

In 2005, Kelly is losing her first tooth in Tooth Time Kelly. This would be very unusual for a toddler so I assume here she is somewhere in the ballpark of 5 - 7 in age. Perhaps she was a late bloomer in Tinkle Time; or perhaps an early tooth-loser here.

These days Chelsea has left the name Kelly behind her and has taken to jetsetting. She is prepared for her flight with carry-on luggage, headphones and Netflix. (Nice tie-in, Mattel…)

[obscure-skirmish]

Propaganda under the cut!

Squiddles: "(taken from the mspa wiki) "Squiddles is a television program in Homestuck that chronicles the adventures of a group of friendly squids; episodes revolved around themes of friendship, teamwork and tickle fights. The Squiddles also took care to avoid the horrors of the Murky Brineswallows and the fishing-nets of Skipper Plumbthroat" "the Squiddles are, in part, a subconscious reimagining of the Horrorterrors and the other monsters in the Furthest Ring.""

Daring Do: "An allegedly fictional but actually autobiographical series of archaeological adventure novels starring an explorer pegasus, written by A.K. Yearling"

[theuniversitychallengereview]

The Two Generals Problem

After last week's barnstorming series opener (specially selected from the list of potential episodes for maximum barnstoming-ness), Aberdeen and Birmingham had a lot to live up to.

Anyway, Aberdeen were making their first appearance on the show in ten years, despite the fact I could have sworn I'd reviewed multiple episodes with them in over the past five series. RGU were on last year, and they're from Aberdeen too, but that's not (as alumni of both would be wont to say) the same. They've not made it past the second round since Paxman's first series in 1995 - perhaps they'll use Rajan's debut as a similar springboard.

Remarkably, Birmingham vs Aberdeen was the first match of that series, twenty-eight years ago. The Scots won 205-170 on their way to the semis, while Birmingham would make it through to the quarters, as high-scoring losers. They lost on a tiebreak to New College, Oxford, while Aberdeen were beaten by Trinity, Cam, also on a tiebreak. Is that interesting? I feel like it is, in the way that looking at statistics sometimes can be. Just me?

But that's enough horsing around.

If you want to watch the episode before reading the review you can do so here (courtesy of CosmicPumpkin, our saviour in a Dave Garda-less world).Let's get on with things; here's your first starter for ten...

The Scots get us up and running through Broomfield, who correctly identifies Scott Joplin as the King of Ragtime. His most famous song The Entertainer was a preset on the keyboards in my school music room, which means consequently that it has been stuck in my head for more than a decade.

They take a full set on human vertebrae, the backbone of a good UC question set, before Rogers gets Birmingham involved with Andrew Marvell. Bonuses on Japanese theatre follow, for each of which they guess kibuki, getting it right at the third attempt.

I was also going to say that Rogers, the Birmingham skipper, had got away with one here because he's studying History of Warfare (so should surely have been the first to buzz). But it turns out that it doesn't really have anything to do with armies at all, so I'm glad I didn't go down that route. It also turns out that it's an unsolvable problem, which is pretty fun.

The first picture round, on the Brothers Grimm, goes to Aberdeen, who take the lead despite mixing up Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel. A mistake from Eisler allows Bennett to steal the advantage back for the Midlanders, but he makes up for it with the Mitford sisters next time out. This match has been a real tug-of-war so far, with neither side able to get a foothold.

Another pair from the Brummies edge them clear, but this is the final time that they will lead, as Aberdeen put the hammer down for the last five minutes, crushing their opponents 80-0 to close out the game. Osbourne defers to her teammates a bit too much in this period, nominating them on a lot of the bonuses, but they got the job done so it doesn't matter that much in the end.Aberdeen 190 - 125 Birmingham

Not quite as barnstorming as last week, but a good ep nonetheless. With Rajan's increased pace of delivery there's no chance that Birmingham will be back with that score, but they can leave with their heads held high. Meanwhile Aberdeen can still dream of repeating their exploits of 1995. See you next time for Birkbeck vs Oxford Brookes.

Subscribe if you liked this, to never miss an ep. And comment down below if you liked the Two Generals joke.

[broflovski-brah]

i swear the people who comment on IG reels have no life. call me soft or whatever but the comments literally reek of discord mod losers who live in their basements who smell like dick cheese.

[psifitopia]

red dwarf disappointment

I love most of Red Dwarf. I'm one of the few that enjoyed season 8. But, seasons 11 and 12 were written by people who had no understanding of what made Red Dwarf work. They just recycled old jokes, while throwing out continuity.

For example.

The twelfth season finale Skipper has Rimmer finding a device that lets him sample alternate universes. So, he tries to find one where he isn't a complete loser.

*SIGHS*

Apparently, the writers of that episode never heard of Ace Rimmer. Does Rimmer have amnesia in series twelve?? You could explain it away by saying season 12 Rimmer is the Rimmer who was alive in season 8, but...that doesn't explain why Lister, the Cat, and Kryten don't remember him.

I could forgive the lack of originality, if they maintained continuity. I could forgive tweaking continuity for new, fresh material and character development. But stale, unoriginal material, without respecting continuity??? Just no.

[sugar-and-pearls]

Howdy Hedone!!

Thank you so much for your sweet words on my chess art with Tex & Jim I appreciate you ;3;✨️💙!!!!!!

I wanted to ask!! What sort of games do you and Chise like to play for game nights :D???

Luxe @tex-treasures

Hello Skipper!! Thank for you sending this in!!

We like to play board game. Snakes and ladders is our go to if I'm being honest. Chise and I are not very completive (that a lie - I can be sore loser) so it a lot of fun to play together. I also like to teach her transformation games but we're still learning that.