#SO I GUESS A LOT HAS CHANGED! IVE ALSO GOTTEN BETTER AT COLORS AND LIGHTING I THINK. HOPEFULLY

[corpsentry]

1000000kg

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time. 

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.” 

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones. 

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus. 

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past. 

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father— 

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today. 

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot. 

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being. 

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts. 

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him. 

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire. 

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed. 

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow. 

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.” 

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work. 

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in. 

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[duhragonball]

Talkin’ ‘Bout Star Wars

I just realized someone might see this title and think it’s a review of Episode IX, which I kind of forgot about.    Actually, I was gonna talk about this Count Dooku audiobook I bought, but I guess I only got back into Star Wars books because of Episode IX, so maybe I should back up.

I liked Rise of Skywalker.   I went in unsure of what to expect, because a lot of people hated Episode VIII, and I thought it was awesome, so when I saw scathing criticism of IX, I had no idea whether to take that seriously.    “Man if you thought VIII was bad, IX’s even worse.”  Stuff like that where I didn’t know how to interpret it.    

The fundamental problem with IX is that they were going to do a Leia-centric movie and Carrie Fisher died before they could get started.    I’m pretty sure this had a lot to do with why Darth Sidious is all over the movie, but maybe he would have been in it regardless.   He definitely brings a lot of star power to the movie.    He makes it feel more important than it would have been if it was just Kylo Ren horsing around as the main bad guy.    And while I enjoyed Carrie Fisher as the hardboiled-but-sensitive General Leia, she never seemed quite as comfortable on-screen in the sequel movies as Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford.   I mean, she was in VIII, but she spent most of it in a coma, and Laura Dern seemed to be her understudy.    Maybe Carrie was just waiting for the spotlight of Episode IX, and maybe she would have risen to the occasion, but if not, they would have done well to have the Emperor in the same movie, just to carry some of the load.  

I’ve seen complaints about how fast-paced Episode IX is, and how ridiculous some of the revelations are, but you know, Episode IV realllly drags for the first half-hour, so I’m happy they made a new one that caters to six-year-old me’s desire to get on with things.   As for the whole Rey Palpatine thing, I don’t know, was that any less absurd than whatever fan-theories were floating around in 2016?

I liked Rey’s character arc in this movie, where she goes from having no family to being terrified of her pedigree, to declaring herself to be “Rey Skywalker”.    Also, I dig her yellow lightsaber, even if she never got a chance to use it in the movie.   In fact, let me get a picture of that up here....

Niiiice.   Whenever I look this up, I see all these links to fan theories about what this means, or how it’s a callback to eight other characters from the comics who had yellow lightsabers, but I’m pretty sure she only ended up with this color because they wanted to give her something different and uniquely her own.    If she had a blue or green blade, fans would think she took the crystal out of one of Luke’s old lightsabers, but this indicates that she built her own from scratch.   Also, Rey even having a lightsaber is probably intended to demonstrate that she still has a mission in the galaxy, even after the First Order and Sidious are defeated.   

Anyway, the main issue I have with the movie is that it does play fast and loose sometimes.    It felt like they had a plan for Finn and a plan for Poe, but both plans sort of got lost in the shuffle, and we sort of have to take their big victory as newly minted generals to serve as a finish to their character arcs.    Leia’s big moment is basically her lying down to take a nap, and I get it, that was probably the best they could do, but still.    I read Nein Numb got killed in the movie, and that kind of pisses me off.    

Mostly, it just doesn’t hold up as well as “The Last Jedi”.   I think part of the reason “Revenge of the Sith” is the most popular prequel movie is because it pays off the thing everyone wanted to see: Anakin becoming Darth Vader.   I remember the first time I saw “Attack of the Clones”, and I was kind of surprised to see Anakin kill all the Sand People, like they were turning him evil a little too early, so that had me wondering if he might turn to the dark side in that movie, which sort of distracted me from what was actually happening on the screen. With Episode III, you knew exactly what you were getting, because they couldn’t save any big moments for “Revenge of the Sith, Part 2.”    In a similar vein, I think the big thing audiences wanted from the sequel trilogy was to find out whatever happened to Luke, and Episode VIII answered that question completely.    It sort of undercut Episode IX, and I guess that was what J.J. Abrams was complaining about.

Darth Sidious’ whole comeback is kind of a problem.   I love the character, and it makes sense that he could somehow survive and come back.    In the movie, he just quotes his line about “unnatural” abilities and that’s the only explanation we get for how he survived Endor, built his new fleet, and made Snoke.    People call it a cop out and they’re not wrong, but he’s the one character who can get away with it.    That said, his return raises far more questions than answers, and somehow he’s even stronger than he was before, which raises even further questions.    I mean, if he could just go to this secret planet and build a fleet of planet-destroying ships, why did he bother running for public office?     

I’m sure there’ll be a novel that tries to tackle some of those issues, but the bigger problem here is that Episode IX made me realize that I missed the more vulnerable Darth Sidious from the prequels.     What I love about Episode I is how you’ve got the Sith, looking very similar to the Emperor and Vader in Episode VI, except they don’t have the might of the Empire behind them.    In Episode I, Sidious can’t just force choke his subordinates when they displease him, because he needs those guys.  Darth Maul can’t send a legion of troops to capture Queen Amidala; he has to do it by himself.  They have to be sneakier and trickier than they are in the original trilogy, because they’re still trying to get the Empire set up, and that’s really fascinating to me.   Even in the original trilogy, Palpatine is supreme, but still vulnerable.    He dissolves the Senate, but only once the Death Star is available as an alternative.   He worries that Luke Skywalker “could destroy us.”       

In Episode IX, he seems to have no worries at all, I guess because he’s counting on Rey to murder him for whatever essence transfer he was planning.   I suppose this was why he finally died to his own Force Lightning, with Rey deflecting it with two lightsabers.    Critics ask why he didn’t just stop shooting lightning, but that’s kind of his deal.    He kept shooting at Mace Windu, even when it wrecked his face, and he kept shooting when Darth Vader turned on him.   I mean, if he stopped shooting lighting at Rey, what then?    His fleet would lose the battle, and Rey would refuse to kill him, and he’d just be stuck.    The Sith crave power, and power only matters when you exercise it, so it makes sense that all the Sith characters get wrecked because they bit off more than they could chew.   If you asked Sidious why he didn’t just turn off his lightning, he probably wouldn’t even understand the question.

I think it might have been cooler if Darth Sidious had been a ghost, or maybe an electronic backup of his brain, or something like that.   He looked pretty cool hooked up to that life support system, and I liked the idea that he was reduced to a shell of his former self, but even that would still be a grave threat to the heroes, especially if he got Rey or Kylo Ren to take orders from him.    Maybe he should have actually gotten to possess Rey, and then he would finally get all the gonzo powers he displayed in the movie, and Rey would have to kick him out of her body.   I dunno, maybe that’s not so different from what we actually got.   

I see fans talking about all these alternative versions of Episode IX, like that leaked script, or the concept art, etc.    They lament “Why didn’t we get this movie?” and I think that misses the point.    Maybe one version or another would be better, but in the end you really only get one movie, one shot at telling the story.   At some point, someone has to make the decision as to what makes the cut and what doesn’t.   The problem with writing a story is that the version in your head always looks better than it does in print, because in your head it’s this nebulous, ever-changing thing.    When you sit down to write it, you have to commit to one version, and decide whether to do this or that.   In this day and age, it’s a lot easier to find out about alternate versions and unused drafts.     You can watch the “This” version of a movie, and then go on the internet and see details about the “That” version they didn’t use.    And it’s easy to complain that they made the wrong call.    “Justice League” fans are convinced that there’s a secret “Snyder Cut” of the movie that would somehow be better than the version that actually made it to theaters.   That’s kind of sad, because they clearly must have enjoyed the theatrical cut to some extent, or they wouldn’t care about some other version of the same movie.   But instead of appreciating what they got, they obsess over a supposedly better version that may not even exist.   

I’m probably no better, because I sort of went into Episode IX figuring that it didn’t matter if it was good or bad, because there would be comics or novels that might expand on the stuff I wanted to see.     I think what I really want is a story of how Sidious survived Endor, and how he got set up on Exegul or however you spell it.     That, and Rey buckling some swashes with that yellow lightsaber.   Everyone’s mad about Rose Tico getting a small part in Episode IX, but to me it almost doesn’t matter, because she can be in whatever Rey comic series they make after this.   I mean, that doesn’t do Kelly Marie Tran any good, but I think she’s got a good career ahead of her, with or without Rose Tico. 

I don’t know, maybe this is why I don’t watch movies very much.   I’m mostly into franchises, where the movies themselves are just tentpoles for all the other media.   They don’t really need to be good, so long as some good lore comes out of them that someone else can use.    I was thinking the other day about how Episode II is widely considered one of the weakest Star Wars movies, but every Clone Wars story that came after it was directly inspired by that film.   And there’s a lot of good Clone Wars stuff out there.   It just makes me wonder if Episode II can really be as bad as they say it is.   Then again, it probably doesn’t make sense to say that spinoffs can retroactively fix what should be a standalone work.  

Anyway, I started this post because I wanted to talk about how YouTube keeps recommending me Star Wars meta videos, mainly about the Sith, because that’s what I’m into, and they’re usually covering stuff I already knew.   There’s at least three channels devoted to recapping stories from comics and books, or just straight up repeating information that was directly stated in the movies.    “Did you know Palpatine wanted to KILL Darth Vader?”   Yes, I’ve known since 1983.   He told Luke to kill him and he wouldn’t do it.  Then he and Vader killed each other.   It’s not complicated.   The funny thing is that I watch all these different Star Wars videos, and I can tell they’re narrated by different people, but they all sound like the Burger King Foot Lettuce guy.  

I got bored with these, so I started listening to the Dooku audiobook that came out last year.     It’s been pretty decent, but I was hoping for more Sith lore, and this book seems mostly focused on Asajj Ventress learning about Dooku’s Jedi career.   I’ve only got a half hour left in the book, and Dooku hasn’t even resigned from the order yet, so I don’t think I’ll see much of what he was up to between Episodes I and II.  

[distractedhistotech]

Ghost +1

Sydney was in the back of the van.  She preferred it back there since she could move around more.  Plus it felt weird staring out the window since losing her eye. She guessed it was the loss of depth perception.  She was still learning how to gauge distance.

“So, that was kind of lame.  Why did they think that guy was a ghost anyway?” asked Sydney as she tried to contact juggle some balls they had and dropped them all over the place.  “He didn’t even put a lot of effort into his costume.”

“They were really superstitious,” said Arthur.  “Only a few steps from being a cult when you think about it.  They decide that anything strange has to have a supernatural or spiritual cause.  Don’t even think there’s a scientific explanation because why couldn’t it be something that proves they’re right.”

“Arthur, you’re starting to ramble,” interrupted Vivi.

Arthur blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. They were a bit…extreme,” admitted Vivi. “I can see why it would upset you.”

Mystery decided this was a good reason to lay his head on Arthur’s lap.  Sydney then flung her arms around him.  “Yeah!  I thought they were creepy too!”

“Sydney!  I’m driving!”

“Pretty sure they thought I was an idiot,” continued Sydney.  “I mean that tone they used with me was just insulting!  Just because I’m missing an eye doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! Lots of people are missing parts and are smart!  I’m not a pirate!”  Sydney paused.  “Actually, there were some pretty intelligent pirates.  I don’t know where I was going with that.  I seem to come back to pirates a lot lately.  I know why I do, but it’s getting kind of old.  I need to find something else to obsess with when I get riled up.”

“You could go back to talking about comics,” suggested Vivi.

Sydney sighed. “Yeah, I miss that…Why do I have so much trouble bringing comics up nowadays?  It used to be second nature, but now I have to focus to talk about them. Even though I still love comics. It doesn’t make sense.  Is this part of growing up?  Part of recovering from a traumatic event?  Both?  It feels like something’s wrong.  But isn’t that normal now?”  Sydney rested her forehead on the back of Arthur’s head, not noticing how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.  “Do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. He’d felt like it since he woke up in a hospital missing an arm, missing a friend, missing memories, missing so much… “I don’t think it’s gonna go away.” Mystery let out a whine and licked one of Sydney’s hands.

Vivi looked between the two as the mood quickly started to darken.  God, she just wanted her two friends to be happy like they used to be. She needed to find a way to change the subject and make them smile.  “Why don’t we pick up a couple of pizzas or something and then watch a couple of hours of Star Trek or Star Wars or Captain America?”

Arthur caught on to what she was trying to do and smiled.  “That would be nice.  It’s been a while since we hung out.”  He frowned. “That’s my fault.”  He’d been busy looking for Lewis.  He was trying not to ignore his remaining friends, but it was hard when he wanted to find the other one and mentioning him did…something to them.

“What the heck are you working on anyway?” asked Sydney.  “You’re not usually this secretive.  You’re not trying to make a mechanical eye again, are you?”

“No!...Not usually anyway,” admitted Arthur.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” said Vivi.  “I don’t think we can buy another eye if something else goes wrong.  We need an alternative method.”

Sydney shuddered. “Okay, point taken.  Being blind sucked.  I don’t know how someone can live with that for a lifetime. Especially if you’re born like that! Can you imagine never knowing colors? And I bet light doesn’t make a lot of sense either.  And you can’t play videogames!”

“Can’t work on cars or fabricate parts,” continued Arthur.

“Probably can’t paint either,” mused Vivi.  “Unless the various colors smelled different from one another.”

Sydney wrinkled her nose.  “Is-Is that a thing?  And I don’t mean synesthesia!  Can blind people have synesthesia?  Or deaf people?  Or anyone missing one sense?”

“What if sounds are linked to smell instead?” suggested Arthur.

“Can that happen?”

“Dunno.  Maybe.”

“Pigments are just a type of chemical compound, so it would make sense for them to have a scent,” said Vivi, keeping the conversation from veering off in a completely different direction for once.

“Depends on the chemical.  Some don’t have a scent, or at least the scent is too faint for humans to pick up on,” explained Arthur.

“I dunno, I swear I was smelling more right before you fixed my eye,” argued Sydney.

“It’s not quite the same thing.  When you lose a sense you pay more attention to the ones that are left, like reassigning roles.  We get the most information from sight, so when someone loses their sense of sight they pay a lot more attention to little things that they didn’t even realize they were ignoring.  Also, I think there’s some neuroplasticity involved.  Your brain isn’t using the part that used to be for putting together what your eyes saw, so it starts using it for other things over time.” Arthur was silent for a moment. “Um.  But you, uh, would know better than me, given, you know.  Sorry, I got a little too into the science papers I’ve been reading.”

Sydney smiled and shrugged.  “It’s fine. I think it’s pretty interesting, even if I don’t understand all of it.”  She tapped her eyepatch.  “Does losing an eye affect how much of my brain it uses?”

“Just one?  I’m not sure.  You are seeing less…”

“Can you still smell and hear more than you’re used to?” asked Vivi.

Sydney shrugged. “Dunno.  I don’t think so.  Was kind of distracted at the time.  Plus, everything looked different when I could see again.”

Vivi huffed. “It is just so unfair.  How is it that my abilities still haven’t manifested but my half of the eye lets you see spirits?”

“It is really strange,” agreed Sydney.

“Maybe it’s because your abilities are already active,” suggested Arthur.  “And you do have some control over ‘em.”

Vivi hummed in thought.  “That might be it.  There are still so many unknowns…”

“Hey, I don’t care how as long as no one else has to go blind,” said Sydney.  “Besides, I’m sure something will wake you up eventually.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m like 40 when it finally happens?” complained Vivi.  “Heck, if I have kids by then, they might have gotten their power before me…”

Arthur winced. “Do you want kids?”

Vivi nodded. “Of course!  One, maybe two.  I just have to find the right guy,” she said, giving Arthur a significant glance.

Arthur missed said glance entirely as he was distracted by thoughts of what could have been. Sydney was blind on that side. The only one to notice was Mystery, who huffed.  Why did life have to be so difficult for these kids?  The last time he’d had charges this prone to trouble…

It hadn’t ended well. Mystery would rather not dwell on the depressing memories.

Vivi realized her hint had gone over their heads yet again and decided to just move on.  “Do you guys want kids?”

“I want one!  So there can be a Sydney Scoville III!” proclaimed Sydney.  “But just one.  Don’t think I could handle more than that.”

Arthur was silent. Lewis wanted kids.  He’d be an amazing father with how well he handled his sisters.  “I dunno if I want children.  I don’t want to pass on any of my issues.”

Vivi and Sydney both frowned at Arthur’s reasoning.  “Most of your issues are due to your early upbringing,” pointed out Vivi. “You wouldn’t make those same choices and mistakes.  That would prevent most of those issues from happening.”

“They could still pick up the behavior from me,” argued Arthur.  “There’s only so much that I can change.”

“I don’t think you need to change,” said Sydney.  “I mean, yeah, you’ve got anxiety issues, but lots of people do.  You’re also smart and nice and help people and have cool hair and stro-”

“What if I attract something dangerous?” interrupted Arthur.

“Then I’ll just keep living nearby,” reasoned Sydney.  She’d live with him if he asked.  “I mean, I don’t see why I would leave Tempo.”

“Me either. Tempo is our home,” agreed Vivi. She placed a hand on Arthur’s flesh and blood hand.  “We’re stuck with each other.  For life.”

Arthur felt himself cheer up a bit at that.  He gave Vivi a smile and tried to give Sydney one as best he could.  Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to stay close to his friends.

And then the dashboard started to spark.  Arthur’s eyes widened.  “What?! No, no, no…”  He stomped on the gas several times but failed to pick up speed.

Vivi frowned. “Is something wrong with the van?”

“There shouldn’t be! I just performed maintenance on it!”

Sydney raised an eyebrow.  “Am I the only one who thinks the purple sparks were weird?”

Arthur blinked. “Purple?”

Sydney nodded. “Yeah, I was staring right at the dashboard.”  The high beam light looked like a jellyfish.  “Definitely purple.”

“That is not a thing that should happen!” shouted Arthur.

Vivi nodded. “Electricity’s supposed to just be white, which suggests this isn’t normal.”  The van came to a stop right in front of…Vivi blinked several times.  “A dancing mansion?”

Okay, it wasn’t actually dancing.  However, it was sort of pulsing/bopping to a beat that one could fell in their bones. It was noticeably run down and purple and had eerie lights in the windows.

“There’s no way that’s not haunted,” deadpanned Sydney.

“Erm…”  Arthur tried turning over the car again.  “We don’t, have to investigate, do we?”

Vivi thought of what happened last time they’d jumped into an investigation without any preparation.

Blood. Hospitals.  Loss.  Guilt.

“If you can get the van started, we’re leaving,” said Vivi.  “Sydney, you’re not wearing your suppressor?”

Sydney shook her head. “Still practicing controlling it on my own.”

“Good.  Don’t reign it in.”

Mystery just stared at the mansion.  He recognized its aura.  He could barely believe it.

When did Lewis come back and what did he have planned? 

Lewis was planning to exact his revenge.  The plan had been simple:  Create a mansion on a road that they often traveled along near Tempo (He couldn’t get into Tempo, but that could be because of some of the wards Vivi had tried setting up.), lure the Mystery Skulls (especially Arthur) into the mansion, separate them, bring Arthur to his location, kill Arthur, and reunite with the girls and Mystery, with possible minor changes as were needed.  He was also open to making Arthur confess what happened to the girls (They must not have seen what happened to just go along with him.) before killing him.

The plan started to unravel as soon as the van came to a stop in front of his mansion.  Part of that was because instead of rushing into the mansion on the heels of Vivi like he was expecting, they stayed in the van. And stayed.  A lot longer than he recalled them ever doing so when he was alive.

Part of it was indirectly Sydney’s fault.  He’d known that her aura was potent against malevolent spirits and the like, but he hadn’t really appreciated it until he felt it pressing down on him.  From all the way outside.  He found himself rubbing his temples.  Ow.  No wonder the nastier spirits went out of their way to avoid her.  He was actually leaking some energy.  He could last for some time as long as he was careful, but theoretically, they could just stay in the van until he was too drained to keep them here.  If they tried that, he’d have to go out and confront them.  Not something he wanted to do, but if it became necessary…

Lewis wondered why he was being affected in the first place.  He wasn’t evil…Well, okay, he did want to kill Arthur.  That was justified, but maybe it was gray enough for Sydney’s ability to categorize him as malevolent.  If that was the case, then it would probably stop after he killed Arthur and no longer had any desire to hurt someone.

Lewis was dragged from his musings as several figures started exiting the van.  Finally!  Lewis quickly started setting up the finishing touches of his plan.

It was time to end this. 

Arthur had to admit defeat.  “I’ll need to look under the hood, and I don’t want to do that in front of a haunted mansion.”  He sighed. “I don’t wanna go inside either.”

Sydney had been staring at the mansion the whole time.  She could see the music.  And anger. This eye was so weird.  “I think you’d be okay.  Pretty sure my aura will reach that far.”

Mystery could confirm that her aura did extend that far and would retain enough potency to be effective. Not that he could tell them, but it was certainly a weight off his shoulders.

Vivi started handing out various items for protection and fighting.  “It’s a tough choice.  Stay out here alone but relatively safe or go inside with us to stay close to Sydney and me.”

Arthur groaned. If he was less worried about the girls’ safety he would stay outside, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he let them go inside that he would never see them again.  It had happened before.  Even if he couldn’t do anything to protect them, he could draw fire away from them.

“I think I’ll go with you guys,” Arthur decided.

Sydney and Vivi studied him for a moment before Sydney suddenly bit her thumb and smeared some blood in the center of his forehead.  “Just in case.”

Arthur instinctively looked up with crossed eyes for a moment.  “Uh.  Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

“It should. There is power in blood,” said Vivi as she gave him some holy water and slipped a beaded necklace over his head and under his shirt.  “We can try practicing making protective symbols with it too.”

Sydney chuckled. “Like an anime.”  She nodded.  “Anything that you think will help.”

Arthur fought down the urge to wipe at the blood on his forehead.  “Can I just say that I don’t like having other people’s blood on me?” It brought back bad memories.

Sydney winced. “Oh.  Sorry.  Should’ve asked first, shouldn’t I?”

Arthur took a deep breath.  “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.  You said it might help so it’s something to try.”  The blood itched on his forehead.  “But I am totally scrubbing it off when we get out of here.”

Vivi nodded. “Sounds like a decent enough compromise.”  She handed an ofuda to Sydney.  Sydney smeared some more blood on the back of it.  “I don’t want either of you getting hurt again.  You’re just starting to get back to where you were before.”

That made both of them wince.  The last few months of learning to live with new handicaps had been difficult and frustrating in several ways.  They didn’t want a repeat with themselves or Vivi or Mystery.

All four of them silently vowed to protect the others.

The walk up to the mansion’s front door took just a few seconds.  Vivi knocked on the doors (She was concerned that the inhabitants would be excited by Arthur knocking and see Sydney knocking as a declaration of war.), which creaked open ominously.  The inched in, the doors slamming shut behind them.

The darkness didn’t last long enough for them to pull out flashlights.  Several purple wisps of fire floated by and lit candles lined along the walls and set on a chandelier.

Vivi absently noted that the layout kind of reminded her of the Spencer mansion, except a lot more purple.

“Sydney, stop humming.”

“Oops.  Didn’t notice-”

Several purple ghosts suddenly popped up.  “Who-o-o-o-oa!”

Most of the group immediately tensed up.  Vivi didn’t immediately though.  “Cute!”

They really were adorable…until more popped up behind them.  “This time I might just disa-Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa!”  They suddenly got pointy toothed with claws. “Oh yeah!”

Nope.  They took off running down the hallway through break in the ghosts.

“This time I might just disappear!”

A suit of armor suddenly lunged towards them and swung an ax.  Sydney and Vivi dove under the ax.  Arthur vaulted over it.  Mystery barely dodged it, having to use his kitsune magic to retract his head into his body.

“Gah!”

“Mystery!”

“)%$*&$^#$(%^)*%(&%*&$&!”

Mystery popped his head back out before any uncomfortable questions could be asked.

“Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa…”

They abruptly realized that the paintings lining the hall were moving.  They suddenly leapt out.  “Oh yeah!”

The Mystery Skulls leapt into each other’s arms.  Thankfully, the portrait spirits pulled back into the paintings.  “Who-o-o-o-oa…”  And then the lady painting reached out and pulled a rope next to her painting.

A trapdoor opened under them.  They fell down screaming, and things became bizarre, even by their standards.  They weren’t falling as quickly as they should be. It was more like they were floating.  Not to mention there were several random items in the space with them.  A few hours later, they would comment on how it was oddly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

They floated past several mirrors.  Vivi was a bit confused by the fact that her reflection had completely purple eyes. From what Mystery could see in his cracked mirror they could see past glamours.  Arthur was facing away from the mirrors so he didn’t see that they failed to reflect his prosthetic.  Sydney did faintly notice this but was a bit distracted by how her reflection showed her right after her injury with her remaining eye leaking various colors from it.

Then Arthur’s fall suddenly sped up.  Vivi and Sydney made to grab him, but just missed him.  Then they noticed Sydney was falling even slower and tried to grab each other, but it was too late again.

Sydney let out an ‘oof’ and shot to her feet as she landed.  “I’m armed!” she shouted, brandishing the ofuda.  She turned around.  There were a bunch of boxes, a dusty bed with no covers, and… a mannequin in a wedding dress and holding an ax?  Sydney thought she was in the basement until she noticed some windows that she ran over to.  She felt her brain short circuit.  “How the *&^*) do you fall down into the attic?!”

Vivi and Mystery had landed in a kitchen where a pair of dagwood sandwiches were laid out on the center counter.  The two stared at them for several moments but managed to pull themselves away. “Right.  Separated…We should look for Arthur first.  Sydney can take care of herself in this sort of situation.” Her stomach growled.  Mystery’s growled even louder.  “…I wonder if it would be safe to grab a few pieces.”

Arthur landed on his ass in what was probably the basement.  He absentmindedly glanced upward in confusion (How did that work? Ghost logic was so weird.) before zeroing in on a large coffin with a skull and thorny vine design on the top of the lid.  It was beating like the rest of the house.

Not good.

The coffin slowly opened, revealing a jawless skull floating above a large body in a nice suit.

Lewis narrowed his eye sockets as he floated out and slammed his feet in front of Arthur.  He glared at his murderer, full of hate and anger.

Arthur stared in fear, unable to recognize his dead friend.  All he saw was a scary, probably powerful, likely dangerous ghost that had separated him from his friends.

Lewis broke the silence by pointing a finger at Arthur.  “Fuck, it’s you I hate the most.”

Arthur gulped and pointed at himself.  “Buh-buh-Why?”

It was a reasonable question from Arthur’s point of view.  Lewis…it did occur to him that he wasn’t as recognizable without his face.  He lit the braziers and let his hair form. “Does this answer your question?!”

No, it didn’t, but Arthur decided he wasn’t going to explain that this was a case of mistaken identity to a ghost that probably wasn’t going to listen.  He threw the vial of holy water, turned on his heel, and ran.

Lewis did recoil a bit at the holy water.  He was a fire ghost.  Water stung even if it wasn’t holy.  Then he threw it off, decided this was proof of Arthur’s guilt, and gave chase.

Arthur was in good shape (He didn’t understand how he was still so healthy when he’d been hospitalized and locked in his workroom so much for the last few months.) and used to running from scary things.  He glanced behind him and saw the ghost practically flying towards him.  No more glancing back.  He put on a burst of speed.

Oh, hey, Vivi and Mystery.  “Angry ghost! Run!”

Vivi and Mystery looked away from the sandwiches they were still debating eating.  They looked in the direction Arthur came from, threw the sandwiches at the angry ghost, and ran after Arthur.  Lewis didn’t bother trying to avoid the sandwich contents and flew right through them.

“We need to find Sydney!” shouted Vivi.

“Where is she?!” shouted Arthur.

“I don’t know!”

Mystery could feel that Sydney had ended up in the attic and was managing to work her way down. He pulled ahead and ran up some stairs, Arthur and Vivi close behind him.  They ran through a bunch of doors and rooms.

Sydney heard the racket and threw open the door of the room she’d wandered into.  “Angry Elvis ghost!”

That threw Lewis for a loop.  “Elvis? Are you kid-”  He saw the eyepatch.  “What happened to your-”

Sydney threw an ofuda at him.  Lewis yelped and pulled it off.  That hurt!

“You stay away from Arthur!” demanded Sydney.

That hurt almost as much as the ofuda.  “You don’t get it.  He-”

Vivi darted back and grabbed Sydney.  “What’re you waiting for?!”  She then dragged Sydney off.

Okay, Vivi and Sydney didn’t know about his murder.  Somehow. Maybe it was post traumatic amnesia or something.  Clearly, this needed to be remedied.  Also, why was Sydney wearing an eyepatch?  She wasn’t wearing an eyepatch for the heck of it.  There’d been scars peeking out.  He gave chase, now equally intent on telling Vivi and Sydney what happened along with killing Arthur.

He threw fire to keep Arthur from moving down a hallway.  Arthur turned and stared at him fearfully.  Lewis felt his desire for vengeance clawing up his heart.

And then Vivi and Sydney put themselves between them, Vivi with her arms outstretched as if to shield Arthur as much as possible, Sydney with her hands up as if she was prepared to fight him.

This was wrong. Vivi and Sydney were supposed to be on his side.  He wasn’t the enemy!  He just needed…Maybe…Yes.  That would work.  He willed his anchor towards them.

They just needed to see the proof of who he was, that they knew him.

The flames died down. Arthur was certain he knew the way to the front door from this spot.  He grabbed Vivi and Sydney and booked it.

Vivi and Sydney glanced back once.

Mystery made sure to take up the rear.

Lewis stared in disbelief and heartbreak as his murderer and the love(s?) of his life and (more than) best friend.

And his anchor fell and broke.

And Lewis switched to frustration and anger and despair and why did this happen to him?! Why why why?!

He screamed, pouring his everything into it as his fire erupted around him.

The living Mystery Skulls barely made it through the doors in time to avoid being burned alive. Mystery might have had something to do with it.  They rushed to the van.  “Go go go!”

Arthur revved the van. It started.  “I’m going!”

They peeled out of there.

None of them saw the figure watching them from one of the high windows.  Lewis watched as the van drove away.  He pressed down on his cracked anchor and looked at the picture inside.

It was from shortly after he and Vivi started dating.  He had an arm around Vivi, who was hugging him.  Sydney had an arm thrown over his shoulder while he used his free arm to support her.  No Arthur. The three of them were smiling and happy and whole and alive.

They could never go back to that.

Lewis barely noticed the tear running down his face as he finally passed out and returned to his anchor, the house fading around him.

[cardshcrp]

FIVE TIMES KISSED

FIVE TIMES KISSED.

@prctettcre // BILL WEASLEY // always selectively accepting !

                                                                                                                     i.

         So it isn’t his most graceful moment in the world when he yelps and nearly topples right off his seat, but that’s just what happens when someone pops up when you’re half-dozing, which he’d been plenty guilty of. Bill hardly notices, swings himself right onto the bench to face Remy, straddling the wood as he details his latest escapade. 

Remy’s groggy brain finally catches up, realizes it’s the boy he’s spoken to a few times, can tentatively call a friend even if it’s only been a couple of weeks since he’d arrived. And maybe it’s the sunshine keeping him drowsy enough to forget that not everyone follows the customs he’d grown up with, or maybe it’s the vague need to make Bill stop and slow down so he can actually comprehend the elaborate scenario being laid out for him, but - 

He leans in, fingers curling around Bill’s shoulder, and brushes his lips to one freckled cheek and then the other, the chatter cutting off abruptly.

“Bisous,” he offers belatedly once he pulls back and sees the look of frank astonishment on Bill’s face as he stares at him. It’s only then he realizes that maybe this doesn’t carry over for Brits, he isn’t quite sure - and that even if it did he probably should have done bises and not bisous for a new friend, but he’s always been affectionate - but it doesn’t seem to matter, because Bill just grins at the way Remy’s going pink all down his throat and starts his story over. 

Remy decides later that day that he rather wants to keep Bill Weasley and that he’s quite fun, mostly spurred on by the fact that they construct a very elaborate prank to play on one of the snobbier Slytherins over dinner, and maybe also because when Bill next bounds up to him, he stops to give Remy bisous.

                                                                                                                    ii.

         When Bill had offered Remy a place to come for winter holiday, he hadn’t been sure exactly what he’d expected, but the reality of it was much better. The Weasleys make everything feel like home, which is rather odd because he already has one, but he doesn’t bother questioning it. 

Neither does Jean-Luc, who’s mostly just pleased his son has made friends, though Henri is the practical one that gives Remy an extra deposit to stay in England instead of coming back between their father’s scattered cheers and enthusiasm.

Instead, he lets himself get swept off in the humdrum whirlwind of activity that is life at the Burrow, sure to stick cold finger and toes on Bill’s ankles and cheeks every morning and laugh out a good morning one each to Molly and Arthur. He also makes sure that Ron gets a liberal amount of tummy tickles, and he learns not to protest very much when Bill is put in charge of dressing him the once they venture into Ottery St. Catchpole, because as it turns out Remy is wonderfully good at wizard fashion and a disaster at the ordinary kind.

It’s easy to settle into a scratchy sweater and kick his friend half out of his place until they can scrunch in together on the couch. It’s easy to yelp when the twins latch onto his legs in a coordinated attack and bring him tumbling down. 

It’s easy to kiss Bill properly for the first time when they’re back on Hogwarts grounds with snow stuck to their hair and scarves, easy as breathing to wrap his arms around the other boy’s neck and just steal his lips without an ounce of hesitation. 

Later he wonders what he’d been thinking, because he could have ruined everything, but it doesn’t matter so much then either because he’s got his fingers laced through Bill’s and his head on his shoulder, and it all fits pretty nice.

                                                                                                                   iii.

          He’s panicking. That’s the first thing his very helpful brain tells him, which really makes everything worse, but there isn’t a whole lot he can do about it because he’s on one knee and ow the gravel drive is really taking its vengeance out on him, but he’s staying put, damn it.

Served him right for being to chicken to go according to plan, anyway. If he had, he would’ve dropped down an hour ago before they headed home from the Muggle concert he’d gotten them tickets for (which was, as usual, some band that Bill very much liked and Remy thought was nice but had no brain space to remember the name of).

“Uh,” he starts, very eloquently, and cracks open the ring box - it’s simple enough, really, just a gold band inlaid with tiny, complex patterns that shifted and changed with movement, but that sudden sinking weight of what if he doesn’t like it settles deep in his belly anyway. “I thought, um - since the world is going to shit, and you know I love you, and I meant to do it a little while ago but I got nervous. And, um, uh, if it doesn’t fit or you don’t like it, that’s totally fine, I don’t know if it will fit anyway, I tried to guess the size just holding your hand and this was a horrible idea, I am so sorry - ”

Bill is just staring, mouth half-open and jaw working wordlessly as he stutters something incomprehensible, and suddenly Remy is that much more anxious because oh no, he sees more ginger heads peeking just barely out of the Burrow and this was the worst idea, absolutely terrible, he’s about to get dumped in front of the whole Weasley tribe and suddenly he can’t tell if he’s speaking in English or French but he would bet it was the latter and - 

That’s about when Bill decides to slap a gentle palm over Remy’s mouth and haul him up to his feet. “Yes, I will happily marry you,” he tells him, and then he kisses the absolute hell out of his stupid French fiancé, who very nearly faints on the spot in absolute relief, not that he would ever admit it.

It’s alright, though, because they’re equally embarrassed when they make it back into the house and have enthusiastic questions and congratulations peppered off of them, and it’s quite enough that Remy’s hair (though not the rest of him because angry is the last thing he is at the moment) catches fire in half a minute, and that’s a whole fiasco in and of itself.

                                                                                                                    iv.

          His hands are sooty and stained, bloody too, when they go back to looking like his own hands and not twisted with claws. They’re also shaking, all the noise and clamor lost in the way his ears are ringing but he does hear one thing, and he recognizes Jean-Luc’s face hovering before his, warm eyes anxious as he brushes hair flaking ashy remnants of dye away from his son’s face. 

“You hear that, boy? He’s alive. Go. Je l’ai.” And really, what did it say that they’d put up shields, hidden him in the middle of a dying battlefield for losing his temper in all that rage and grief and oh, no, he’d done it, hadn’t he? Remy’s eyes dart to Charlie’s face, and he swallows hard, but he’s already reaching for the younger boy’s outstretched hand. 

After all, his father was good at memory spells. If even one person left remembering what they’d seen, it would be strange - and there was time to worry later.

Alive. Alive. Alive. 

He keeps turning the word over in his head, a half-prayer as they stumble off and make their way to the infirmary. It’s the only word that matters when unsteady fingers drift over the gashes on Bill’s face, not touching for fear of infection - it’s the only thing he thinks when he looks up to see Molly staring at him with some kind of wariness on her face, like she’s expecting something bad from him; he doesn’t have anything else in his head, can’t process what that means. 

“He’s going to be okay,” he rasps, and it comes out like a question, more hopeful than maybe is allowed and god, he’s fucking terrified. He’s so small all of a sudden, or he feels it, squashed with the weight of all that fear and fuck, just fuck, but the next thing he knows he’s getting swept into a big warm hug (the Weasley specialty, innit) and they’re both crying all over each other but that’s alright too.

Remy loses track of how long it takes for Bill to wake up - days, probably - but when he does, it’s with a whole lot of anxious family hovering over him, and the first thing he says is “My face hurts,” sounding vaguely indignant. It’s enough to earn him several eye rolls and sighs of oh, he’s fine - Remy opts for bursting into tears of relief. He hadn’t meant to, but he does, and Bill looks awfully startled, but he can’t help it.

It takes a while longer for everyone else to filter out, but they eventually do, leaving Bill to rest and Remy to settle back into the chair at his side. Before he does, he leans in, brushes careful lips over the corner of his fiancé’s mouth, fingers curled under his jaw so soft he thinks he can pick up the ache from all the torn flesh above. 

“You’re an idiot,” he tells him, tart, and Bill shakes a little with a laugh he can’t quite get out without it hurting. “You picked me. Who’s the idiot now?”

                                                                                                                     v.

          Ras Abu Gali is very much off the beaten path for Muggles, let alone wizards, and the local Bedouin are friendly enough that they stay there awhile; they are strange no matter what they do, so Remy doesn’t bother to dye his hair and lets it hang to his waist like moonlight though he does cover it most days. 

It’s comfortable, he thinks, the way he can roll over under heavy travelling blankets to kiss Bill awake, weave long fingers through red hair and press a scarred cheek to his collarbone and fall back asleep. It’s nice, actually, that he dresses in stupid loud colors and glaringly mismatched patterns and no one cares at all even if Bill rolls his eyes at the worst combinations. 

He ducks his head down, bites soft at his husband’s ear with a low hum, a chuckle slipping from him at the answering grumble of protest. Bill tugs the cover up over their sleep-rumpled heads to block out the light, and Remy kisses him, still smiling.

“Vite-vite, wake up,” he murmurs, and pinches Bill’s side gentle, rolling them until he’s resting atop him with chin settled nice and neat on his hands. “We need to pack. We’re going back to visit today, remember?”

Bill sighs, and Remy presses warm lips to the underside of his half-sweaty jaw, thumbs tracing warm circles over his ribs until he finally shifts, toppling Remy onto his back instead and pinning him there. 

“Five more minutes,” he sighs against Remy’s skin, and with a snort Remy gives in, wrapping his arms tight around him like he really minds at all. Five more minutes.

And then if he didn’t get up, Remy would shove ice down his pants.

[spikelovebot]

answer these 85 questions and tag people!

i was tagged by @starrydoyoung

LAST

1. drink - water 

2. 📱 call - my dad

3. text - my friend steph

4. song you listened to - replay by shinee

5. time you 😢 - abt 30 minutes after i woke up today

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - ............yes

7. 😘 someone and regretted it - omg yes

8. been cheated on - no thankfully

9. lost someone special - yes :/

10. been depressed - depression? i know her

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - oh boy yes

FAVORITE COLORS

12. highlighter yellow

13. lime green

14. teal

15. neon orange

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - yes !

17. fallen out of 💛 - i mean i wasnt in love but i did end up hating someone i loved

18. 😂 until you 😢 - omg all the time

19. found out someone was talking about you - i ?? guess ????

20. met someone who changed you - uh. yes nd no

21. found out who your friends are - yea !

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - no lmao

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your facebook friends list do you know irl - like 98% of my friends list

24. do you have any pets - the loml benny, romeo, lola & jojo! 1 cat 3 dogs i also have like 10 ducks

25. do you want to change your middle name - no its basic but it has a special reason for being my middle name

26. what did you do for your last 🎂 - watched thor ragnorak 

27. what time did you wake up today - like... 1:30 pm lol

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - uh? playing sims 4

29. what is something you can’t wait for - uh... december bc im taking a trip

30. what are you listening to right now - feel good by shinee

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - probably

32. something that gets on your nerves -  when people dont communicate w me abt important things or anything tbh.. omg like esp if we’re dating or friends nd u have a problem w me like ???? talk to me abt it or die mad abt it then

33. most visited website - its tumblr lol

34. hair color - dirty blonde/light brown

35. long hair or short hair - i have a buzz cut

36. do you have a crush on someone - nope 

37. what do you like about yourself - im funny

38. want any piercings - yes ! i want a nose piercing even tho i touch my nose a LOT

39. blood type - i got no clue

40. nicknames - syn.. max...

41. relationship status - lonely :/ but not looking bc i cant handle one rn

42. zodiac - scorpio bitch

43. pronouns - any i dont care

44. favorite 📺 show - greys anatomy i’d die for that bitch. also private practice

45. tattoos -  none

46. right handed or left - right handed

47. ever had surgery - i had surgery on my right ear in 3rd grade i can barely Barely hear out of it now

48. piercings - none

49. sports - i dont play any but baseball is cool

50. vacation - uh. idk ive gone to tennessee recently but uh.. not a vacation

51. trainers - no

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - nothing rn

53. drinking - water Always

54. i’m about to watch - uh nothing

55. waiting for - my internet to stop being an ass

56. want - money

57. get married - if my partner wants to sure

58. career - idk i’d love to do something w animals... or design maybe

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - uh rlly kissed much so hugs i guess

60. 👄 or eyes - eyes for sure

61. shorter or taller - hm.............. i dont have a preference?

62. older or younger - older honestly... unless they’re rlly mature for their age

63. nice arms or stomach -  i dont care

64. hookup or relationship - hm. half of me is one nd half is the other 

65. troublemaker or hesitant - ugh hesitant but i dont want someone afraid to do Everything u know i dont need someone to make me More hesitant ?

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - nope

67. drank hard liquor -yea

68. lost glasses - yea

69 (oof). turned someone down - oh? yea

70. sex on first date -  i havent

71. broken someone’s ❤️ - i guess ????

72. had your 💔 - I Guess

73. been arrested - nope

74. 😢 when someone died - lmao thats what ive been dealing w since the 21st

75. fallen for a friend - oof.... yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself -not rlly

77. miracles - uh i guess but they dont happen to me

78. 💛 at first sight - no

79. 🎅 - no

80. 😘 on a first date - why not

81. angels - idk

other

82. best friend’s name - andie

83. eye color - blue

84. favorite movie - dirty dancing but rn it makes me sad

85. favorite actor - ANY of the main greys anatomy cast rn

thank u for tagging me stacy! this was long but interesting, i tag @balmaineoark @sunbeamhope @reosian @bangchans @popchiyk nd... thats it ig u guys dont have to do this obv

[brylinjmalone-blog]

The Atlantic Group~ An (A/B/O) Rickyl Fanfic

Chapter 1: Waking Up The white and grey titles above him are the only things he can see. His vision is hazy and out of focus as the Alpha’s best friend, Shane, leans over him with what Rick can only guess is a bouquet of lilies in a blue and white antique vase in his arms. From what he can make out in the mess of colors, Shane wears his police T-shirt that had seen better days. His eyes are red and bagged, his face pale like he hadn't been sleeping. Shane looks at him and sighs before he addresses Rick in a distorted voice.

“I'm sorry man. I know I say the same crap every time I come in here." Shane fiddles with the flowers for a breath before chuckling. “I'm just goin' to set these on your side table, okay?"

Shane observes Rick for a moment before he steps off to the side, out of Rick's peripheral vision, to set the flowers down. After what feels like a few minutes of silence Rick's vision settles into focus and calls out to Shane.

"Shane?" He looks around, noticing he's completely alone.

"Shane, you in the john?" No answer. Scenting the air and noticing that only his own scent was present, with was odd because the nurse’s scent should be strong if they were checking on him, Rick looks around to see if he can make out his best friend. He sees the monitors he's hooked up to are off and the flowers that the other Alpha had placed next to his bed are dead. Odd.

Disoriented and confused, Rick tries to get out of the hospital bed. Tossing the blankets aside, Rick slowly sits up and grabs the IV pole next to him before trying to stand. Once he puts weight on his legs-- legs that are far weaker than he thinks they should be for being out for such a short amount of time-- they give out and Rick is on the floor, unable to breathe. He turns on his side and rips the IV from his arm before calling out in a hoarse voice, "Nurse. Help."

When no one responds he calls out again, scenting the air. The whole building smells wrong; nothing like sterilize bandages and medicine but of death. Shakenly getting to his feet and taking a couple more tumbles before he can balance his weight, Rick makes his way to the bathroom connected to his room. He leans against the door with a heaving breath, and stares in shock at the mirror. He's thin-- thinner then he can ever remember being, and he's certain that it's unhealthy-- and his stubble is visibly longer then it had been before he got shot. Sticking his head under the faucet and turning it on, he drinks the stale smelling water greedily to clear the dust from his throat. Once Rick has had his fill he turns the water off and wipes his hands off on his hospital gown, being mindful of the bandages wrapped around his stomach that smell infected. He walks out into the hallway and pushes a gurney that blocked the door out of the way.

The hallway was a war-zone; papers litter the floor and the lights were flickering, doors are thrown open with some lights on and some off. Rick starts to make his way down the hallway, confused about the lack of people. He starts to walk down another hallway with a flickering light, stopping at the doors and almost dropping to his knees at the sight in front of him. Bracing himself against the door he stares at the abandoned hallway, the almost completely decayed body of a woman lying in the center.

'Oh my God, what happened here? Where is everyone? ’ Rick thinks as he walks away from the doors, his fear growing with each step he takes, staring in horror at the bullet ridden blood stained walls. Puddles of the red liquid coat the floor; foot prints slide in and out of view. Being careful not to cut his feet on the glass and ceiling parts on the ground, his breathing catches in his throat at the chained and bared door, the words 'Don't Open, Dead Inside' are spray painted on.

Rick turns to his left and pushes the doors open, bolting from the building. Opening the exit door Rick makes his way outside, using the wall as a support. He keeps his head down, trying to ignore the bodies wrapped in bloody sheets that cover the parking lot.

Rick makes it to his house with little memory as to how he got there. As he pulls up in front of a house he throws the bike he was riding down and stumbles his way into his house. Racing up the porch he throws the screen door open and walks in, calling for his wife and son.

Walking into his and Lori's room he notices the clothes are thrown everywhere, a suitcase on the bed with shirts and pants left hanging out of it. The whole scene was one that reminded him of hasty packing that wasn't completed, like something more important had come up and the suitcase was forgotten. Going into the next room shows a similar scene, only instead of grown men's and women's clothes they're little boy shirts thrown everywhere. Making his way out of the rooms he drops to his knees and calls out for his family again, terrified now.

After a few moments of crying softly, something most Alphas would never do, Rick gets to his feet and makes his way outside, sitting down on the stairs next to the street that lead to his porch. Looking out into the neighborhood Rick sees a man walking down the street in a black suit. The man sees him and slowly inches his way over, limping as if he had hurt himself. Rick raises his hand and waves at the man trying to catch his scent, unaware of the figure behind him, also slowly making his way to Rick. Once the figure is close enough to the back of Rick's head, they raise their arms back like they were playing baseball with a shovel. A twig snaps under their feet and Rick turns around only to be knocked down by the shovel to his face.

……………………………………………………..

Rick must have blacked out at that point from shock and exhaustion because the next thing he knows; he's waking up on a comfortable bed with his hands tied above his head. Not knowing where he is or how he had gotten inside a house, Rick looks around at his surroundings. An Omega boy is standing off to one side of the bed, a baseball bat in hand as he shifts from foot to foot, biting his lip in anticipation. A glove snapping drags Rick's attention to the other side of the bed, where another Alpha is standing. He looks at Rick for a moment before he goes back to cleaning his hands in a bowl on a table.

"Got that bandage changed now," He says, "it was pretty rank. What was the wound?"

"Gunshot." Rick says.

"Gunshot? What else? Anythin'?" He wipes his hands on a towel before he turns to Rick, wiping his brow as well.

"Gunshot ain't enough?" Rick asks sarcastically.

The man gets closer to Rick, almost over top of him to assert his dominance, and snaps back, "Look, I ask, and you answer. That's common courtesy, right?" He leans down until he's face to face with Rick before saying emphatically, "Did you get bit?"

Rick licks his lips in confusion, narrowing his eyes at the man, "Bit?"

"Bit," the man repeats, "chewed, maybe scratched-- anythin' like that?"

"No, I got shot." Rick says looking the man in the eyes, "just shot as far as I know." The man goes to touch Rick, but Rick evades him, remembering what he had done to that man; shot him in the head, point blank, without a second thought.

"Hey. Just let me." He places the back of his hand on Rick's forehead before turning to his son, "Feels cool enough. Fever would've killed you by now."

"I don't think I have one." Rick says, shaking his head.

"Be hard to miss." The man says. The man reaches up and cuts the bindings on Rick's wrists with a pocket knife. He gets off the bed and cuts the bindings on Rick's ankles before closing the knife with a click and putting it back in his pocket.

"Come on out when you're able." The man says as he makes his way over to the door, nudging his son. Rick grabs a thin blanket and makes his way out of the room, heading in the direction of a scrapping ladle and soft murmurs. The man and his son are at a small table, dishing up food onto plates. Rick notices a collection of can goods and toilet paper rolls in corners, two twin mattresses lay side by side, obviously used. It seems like the Alpha and his son were staying within three rooms of the whole house. The windows and door are boarded up with heavy blankets covering them, not letting what little light the candles and oil lamps give off be seen from the outside. The house, now that he's looking around, is familiar. As he makes his way to the windows he feels the other Alpha's eyes on him. He goes to look outside but the man stops him.

"Don't do that," the man calls softly, "They'll see the light. There's more out there than usual. I never should've fired that gun today." The man makes his way to the table and pulls a metal can off a small burner with some rags, "Sound draws them; now they're all over the street. Stupid-- using a gun." He blows the hand-held burner out and places it on a side table. "But it all happened so fast... I didn't think." The man sits at the table.

"You shot that man today." Rick accused him.

"Man?" The man questions.

"It weren't no man." the boy pipes in.

"What the hell was that out of your mouth just now?" the man glares at his son.

"It wasn't a man." the boy corrects himself.

"You shot him in the street out front-- a man." Rick says a little more forcefully.

The other man scoffs and says, "Friend, you need glasses. It was a Walker. Come on, sit down before you fall down." The man places some beans on his son's and his plates before dishing up a plate for Rick, "Here." Rick sits at the table across from the boy.

They say their blessings and start to eat. The man looks at Rick as if something had clicked with him just now that he hadn't thought about before.

"Hey, mister, you even know what's going on?" Rick swallows his food before he speaks.

"I woke up today in the hospital.... came home and that's all I know."  Rick takes another bite of beans. The man and his son share a glance with each other before the man clears his throat.

"But you know about the dead people, right?" he asks.

"Yeah I saw a lot of that," Rick says, slightly nauseous, "out on the loading dock, piled in trucks."

"No, not the ones they put down. The ones they didn't-- the Walkers, like the one I shot today. Cause he'd have ripped into you, tried to eat you." At Rick's confused yet horrified expression the man continues, "Well, I guess if this is the first you're hearin' it, I know how it must sound."

"They're out there now? In the streets?" Rick nods at the windows.

"Yeah. But we'll be fine as long as we stay quiet." Rick switches his gaze between the two males as the dad speaks.

"But listen." the other man gets Rick’s attention, "One thing I do know-- don't you get bit. I saw your bandage and that's what we were afraid of. Bites kill you. The fever burns you out. But then after a while... you come back." The two males get quiet.

"Seen it happen." The boy says. His dad squeezes his arm and smiles at him.

They all go back to eating. Later after they finish their food, the three of them curl up in the living room. The man and his son curl up on the mattresses while Rick leans against the sofa. The boy decides the quiet is too much and ask the men a question.

"Dad, did you ask him? " The man chuckles a little before he turns to Rick.

"Your gunshot; we've got a little bet going. My boy says you're a bank robber."

Rick laughs in his throat, "Yeah, that's me, the deadliest Dillinger. Kapow." Rick shifts a little and smiles at them, "Sheriff's Deputy."

"Uh-huh." The man nods. An alarm goes off down the street and all of them jump. The little boy looks at the window in fear, a small whine escaping him, and his dad immediately calms him.

"Hey, it's okay. Daddy's here. It's nothing. One of them must've bumped a car." He reassures his son, purring softy.

"Are you sure?" Rick ask looking at the window.

"It happened once before. It went on for a few minutes. Get the lights Duane." Rick and the man get up and head to the window. The man waits until the room is mostly dark, the candles still burning low, before he moves one of the blankets to look outside.

" I think we're okay." the man looks outside over Rick's shoulder, scanning the street for any kind of threat.

"That noise-- won't it bring more of them?" Rick asks as Duane comes over and pulls the blanket back a little.

"Nothin' we can do about it now." the older Alpha sighs, "Just have to wait 'em out till mornin'."

"She's here." Duane gasps as a black female Walker in a white nightgown comes into view from the side. She turns towards the house and starts to make her way over, like she knew they were there.

"Don't look." The man tells his son in a strained voice, "Get away from the windows." Duane backs away from the window, shaking, and throws himself on their mattresses, sobbing.

"Duane. Duane, quiet now." His dad goes over to him and pulls his head into his lap, "Come on, quiet now pup. Shh shh." Rick stays by the window just watching the female Walker as she makes her way to the house. She starts walking towards the porch and out of window view. Rick makes his way to the door in the hallway just next to the room they were camping in and looks out the pep-hole. The Walker makes her way up the steps with another Walker following her.

"It's okay, here." Rick hears the man tell his son. the man grabs a pillow and places it over Duane's head, "Cry into the pillow. Do you remember pup? Shh shh." The Walkers make it on the porch, stopping in front of the door while the other Walker walks over to the other side. the woman just looks at the door; her head bobs like a chicken as her sunken, glazed eyes focuses in on the pep-hole. The way she moved was as if she knew Rick was right there, watching her, and she wanted him to know that she was watching him too. Her jaw keeps twitching like she was trying to bite something, and her eyes drop down to the door knob. It's rattling makes Rick look down were the knob was turning. The Walker was trying to get into the house.

Rick backs away, scared, and goes back in the living room where he sits down on the floor, next to Duane and his dad but his eyes never leave the door. He rumbles quietly, smelling the distress on them both and trying to comfort them. He directs it at the Alpha, not knowing how he would react to Rick comforting Duane. He looks at the other man quick. The Alpha nods and Rick rubs Duane’s ankle. Duane reaches down and pulls Rick’s hand up to his dad’s, burying his face in the scent of the two men. Rick looks to the Omega’s dad. He smiles and nods, and Rick goes back to watching the door.

“Thank you.” Duane says.

"She uh..." The man says while he pets Duane's hair, "She died in that other room on that bed in there. There was nothin' I-- I could do about it. That fever, man, her skin gave off a heat like a furnace." Duane was still crying quietly as his dad and Rick talk.

"I should've--" the man shakes his head, "I should've put her down, man. I should've put her down. I know that, but I-- You know what? I just didn't have it in me. She’s my Omega; my mate. She's the mother of my child. When I lost her… if I didn’t have Duane needing me, man, I would have lost it. I don’t know what I would do." The rattling of the doorknob continues even as they get ready to sleep, all kind of huddle near each other. Rick watches the door until he falls asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They drive to the police station in a car they hot wire not far from Rick's house. Rick drives with Duane's dad in the front while Duane piles in the back seat.

"You know, I never got your name. Seems kind of bad not knowing the name of the man who saved my life." Rick says after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Morgan. Morgan Jones and that's my son Duane. You gonna tell us your name, Sheriff?" The man says.

"Rick Grimes, nice to meet you." Rick laughs.

When they show up at the station Rick unlocks the back door for them, and heads for the showers to test the hot water out, to the joy of Morgan and his son. After they had cleaned the excessive amount of grime they had collected, all of them thankful for the hot water, they sat in the locker room drying off. Rick turns to the other man.

"Atlanta sounds like a good deal.  Safer anyway-- more people."

"That's where we were headed, before…" Morgan sighs.

"Plan to move on?" Rick asks.

“Haven't worked up to it yet." Morgan nods. Rick nods before holding out a bottle of pills.

“They’re over the counter, so not as strong, but I figured your boy could use them.” Morgan takes the bottle with a nod and looks at the label. Narrowing his eyes, the Alpha looks at Rick with a small rumble of warning in his chest.

“There were a few Omegas that worked here; the Suppressants were mandatory for when they were on shift. I don’t think they are going to need them now, but you might if you do decide to leave. There might be more around here but…” Rick shrugs and Morgan nods his thanks and apology.

The two men finish getting dress and Duane meets them back in the locker room, fully dressed and looking a lot happier. They follow Rick farther into the station and come upon a metal cage, filled with guns and ammo. Rick unlocks the padlock and chain keeping the guns inside and pulls the door open.

"A lot of it's gone missin'." Rick says as he pulls a rifle off the wall and checks the scope; Morgan and Duane pile in after him. They fill up two duffle bags with ammo and guns before making their way around the building for anything else they might need. Finding five more bottles of Suppressants, Morgan takes four and leaves the one with the most pills in it for Rick.

“Just in case.” Rick nods his thanks and they make their way outside, into the back-parking lot.

"Conserve your ammo." Rick says as they head to the cars, "It goes faster than you think, especially at target practice."

"Duane, take this to the car." Morgan hands Duane their duffle bag and points to the jeep the three of them came in, where Duane heads throwing an "Okay" over his shoulder.

"Are you sure you won't come along?" Rick asks Morgan.

"A few more days. By then Duane will know how to shoot and I won't be so rusty." Rick thinks for a moment, then turns to the squad car-- 'his and Shane's' he thinks--and pulls out two walkie-talkies, turning them on to make sure they work. He hands one to Morgan.

"You have one battery. I'll turn mine on a few minutes every day at dawn. You get up there, that's how you'll find me." He says.

"You think ahead." Morgan nods and goes over to Duane, Rick following him.

"Can't afford not to, not anymore."

"Listen, one thing--" Morgan turns to Rick as he speaks, "They might not seem like much one at a time but in a group, all riled up and hungry-- man, you watch your ass."

"You too." Rick acknowledges. Morgan smiles at him and they shake hands, Duane standing right next to him.

"You're a good man, Rick. I hope you find your wife and son." Morgan says releasing Rick's hand. Rick nods and looks at Duane.

"Be seeing you, Duane. Take care of your old man." Rick and Duane shake hands as well.

"Yes sir." Duane smiles at him. The Alpha and his son already have the jeep started but waits until Rick is pulling out behind him before they make their way around the building. Morgan pulls onto the street, going right, and honks the horn in goodbye. Rick turns onto the street, going left, and blares the siren twice in reply.

He drives out of the small-town neighborhood and heads to Atlanta. While driving, Rick gets on the radio and hopes someone will answer.

"Broadcasting on emergency channel. Will be approaching Atlanta on highway 85. Anybody reads, please respond. Hello, hello. Can anybody hear my voice? Anybody out there? Anybody hears me, please respond. Hello, can you hear my voice?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rick pulls the sun blocker down, showing a picture of him, his Mate Lori, and their pup Carl. It was one of the only pictures he had of the three of them; him and Lori weren't fighting that day and so they went and got a professional family picture of them and Carl. He pulls it out and puts it in the breast pocket of his shirt. Grabbing his hat, the bag of guns and a gas can, he continues down the street leaving the empty squad car on the road.

After about half an hour of walking, Rick stops in front of a small, white farm house and calls out, "Hello? Police officer out here. Can I barrow some gas?  Hello?"

Rick puts down his stuff and hops onto the porch. He knocks on the door and calls out once again. "Hello? Anyone home?"

He walks around the porch looking in each window. As he looks in the last one, he gets queasy. A man and his wife were dead; two bloody holes to the heads and a shotgun in the man’s hand tells Rick they had killed themselves. Walking over to where he left his bags, Rick stops short at the sound of a nickering horse. Looking over to the fenced in field, a chestnut stallion with a white face was grazing on the overgrown grass. Rick picks up his things before he goes into the barn, takes off his jacket and pulls one of the ropes off a nail, before he makes his way over to the horse. Rick leads the horse to the barn and gets him cleaned up and saddled. Once the horse is good, Rick puts the bag on his back and gets on the stallion.

"Just go easy, okay? I haven't done this for years." The horse takes off running, making Rick grab hold quick so he doesn't get thrown off, "Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa! Easy now. Easy, boy. Easy easy. Easy. Easy. Eas-- Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa."

…………………………………………………………………………………..

The horse seems to settle down as they make it closer to Atlanta; Rick has him walking on the one clear side of the road.

"Let's go." Rick urges the stallion forward, staring at the traffic jam of abandon cars that looked to be left behind while trying to leave Atlanta. It wasn't until they were in Atlanta streets that the horse started to act strange, not wanting to go further in the city, whining and trying to go back the way they came. Rick turns the horse back around and urges him forward. Passing military vehicles, helicopters and local cars and buses, Rick didn't see any Walkers yet. It wasn't until they passed a bus, two streets over, that they found the dead. Three Walkers start to get off the bus, growling, which causes the horse to start whining again.

A few more Walkers start to appear as Rick looks back at the ones getting off the bus. Rick turns the horse down another street where a tank and some military jeeps were left. Rick slows down in front of the tank where a body of a soldier was laying against the tanks gun, crows eating out of one of the wounds on the soldiers back, the man's face was blown off. Passing the tank, Rick's nose starts to crinkle at the smell of death that seems to cling to the city. Rick kicks the horse into a run. He turns onto the next street and immediately tries to back away, the only thing that stops him from running head first into the street of Walkers was the horse rearing in fear. The whole street is covered from what Rick can tell, but he doesn't stay to get a good look. As soon as the two of them turned the corner, the Walkers took notice of them and started after their next meal. Rick allows the horse to take off, trusting it to get them out. The herd takes off after them, slowly, as the horse runs down the street. They make it to the tank before their path is blocked by Walkers from all sides.

Surrounded by the Walkers as they start grabbing at both Rick and the horse, the stallion rears up and Rick has trouble holding on. When the Walkers knock them both to the ground, Rick drops the bag of guns and his hat. Most of the Walkers start their feast on the horse, seeing as it was basically an easier target because it couldn't really get up. A few go after Rick, but he kicks one off him and scrambles back. Seeing more Walkers in front of him, he freezes, knowing there was no way to outrun them. He’d have to outsmart them, which has him crawling under the tank, the Walkers following him. Seeing how many were there, locking him in place on both sides, Rick places the gun to his temple.

"Lori, Carl, I'm sorry." Just as he goes to pulls the trigger, Rick notices an opening under the tank and pulls himself up before the Walkers reach him. He closes the door under him and scoots against the wall of the tank, next to a dead soldier.

"Oh.... God" Rick pants out. He goes to pull the gun from the soldier’s suit and almost yells when the dead soldier turns towards him, growling. Rick brings the gun up and fires. Immediately his ears start to ring, his vision goes out of focus. Rick falls to the ground in pain when he notices an opening from the top of the tank. Standing up, with a little difficulty the ringing in his ear starts to disappear. He notices the bag of guns in the street but is unable to do anything as Walkers were starting to climb the tank. Rick pulls the lid down, the Walkers beating at it, and locking himself in with the dead soldier. Rick checks the gun he pulled from the soldier to see how many bullets he had left, then he just sitting there, trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this one. Over the sound of Walkers pounding on the tank and eating his horse, Rick hears a sound; the radio.

"Hey, you." The man over the radio says, "Dumbass. Yeah, you in the tank. Are you cozy in there?"

[forever-rogue]

Words and Paper - Part IV

Summary: Y/N is a brilliant young lawyer who was hired by Tony Stark himself. She didn’t expect half of the things that would happened, but she was sure glad Bucky happened.

A/N: Thanks for all your continued support! I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in this!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII | PART IX | PART X | PART XI | PART XII | PART XIII

Y/N had been eager to get started working since her big move to New York. Now that the day was finally upon her, she wasn’t feeling so sure. Her nerves were getting the better of her, and she was suddenly rethinking her decisions. The only decision she wasn’t rethinking was Bucky. Ever since he had finally kissed her, the two of them had been as giddy as two teenagers experiencing their first crushes.

She let out a sigh of exasperation as threw the dress in her hands onto the her bed, making it join the other ones she had already rejected. She didn’t want to be over dressed, but most definitely did not want to be under dressed. Nothing was calling out to her. She reached back and settled on a mid length dark blue dress with a lace overall that she could easily pair with a blazer. She deemed it professional, but still showed off her personality.

She glanced at her phone and saw that she had wasted more time than she had wanted on picking an outfit. She quickly pinned back the sides of her hair and threw on some makeup. Her phone lit up as she slippe on her shoes and grabbed her jacket. She picked it up without looking at who it was, “Hello?”

“Good Morning, Princess,” Bucky’s warm voice brought an instant smile to her face.

“Hiya Buckaroo,” she grabbed her saddle back and headed into the kitchen, “I’m so not ready for today! I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.”

“Hey, you’re going to be fine. They wanted you for a reason after all,” he reassured and hear her taking  a few deep breaths, “have you had coffee or breakfast yet?”

“No, I’ve been trying to figure out what to wear,” she sheepishly admitted.

“Open the door,” her brows knitted together for a moment as she realized he was going to be waiting for. She hung up the phone and swung the door open to reveal Bucky standing there, two coffees in his hand and some breakfast tucked under his arm.

“Oh yes! You are the best,” she stepped aside and let him. He set the items down on the counter. He gave her a smile in return and kissed her cheek.

“I figured you’d be nervous, so I tried to help a little bit. Were you planning on walking to work or taking a cab?” He sat down at the bar and pulled out a bagel he had gotten for himself.  She grabbed her coffee and took a sip - it was just the way she liked it, with plenty of milk and a hint of sugar.

“I was planning on walking, it’s not too far. Would you like to accompany me?” She gave him a small wink.

“I would love to,”

“I just, ugh,” she started and stopped herself, trying to choose her words carefully. She didn’t want to hurt Bucky’s feelings or anything.

“What’s up?”

“I think we maybe shouldn’t go in together. Not yet anyway,” she avoided meeting his gaze but could feel his eyes on her.

“Oh?” He didn’t sound upset, just surprised.

“I just thinking with starting a completely new job, I don’t know how good it would look to come in with your coworker, that you’ve started dating,” she shrugged her shoulders lightly.  She knew all about conflicts of interest and how much harshly people judged dating in the workplace, and it could lead down a path she didn’t necessarily want.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” He chuckled a little bit, “but don’t worry, we don’t have to tell anyone yet. It’ll be okay eventually, but you’re probably right.”

“It’s not you, Bucky, really. I just don’t want to start anything,” she keep rambling, relieved he wasn’t upset with her.

“It’ll be fine, Y/N,” he reached over and grabbed her hand kissed it gently. She felt a blush creep up in her cheeks at the small, intimate gesture. They were interrupted by the Y/N’s phone vibrating. She picked it up and saw that it was a text from Tony wishing her a good first day.

“I guess we’d better get going,” she said softly. She exhaled and slipped on her jacket, grabbing her bags and the rest of the coffee and bagel. Bucky followed suit and went ahead and opened the door for her.

The two of them walked hand in hand towards the Avengers Tower where they would both be working. It was a chilly New York morning, where the leaves had suck started changing color. Y/N tried to take everything in as she fought off her nerves.

“Tell me something about yourself,” Bucky suddenly said as he pulled on her hand and got her to stop about a block away from the tower. She loved that he always remembered to ask her for a fact and then tell her one in turn.

“Another day, another fact,” she chuckled as she tried to think of something interesting, “let’s see. My first job in law school was working as a clerk at a family law firm , and on my first day I accidentally deleted half of the stuff on the company server.”

Bucky let out a hearty laugh. She had confessed to him she was a bit unlucky, mixed in with some clumsiness, but this was hilarious to him, “how? How do you even manage to do that?”

“I leaned on my keyboard and apparently had a bunch of stuff selected and deleted it. Luckily, the server was backed up everyday, so it wasn’t a huge deal. Needles to say, I didn’t last long there, “ she cringed a little bit at the memory of having to tell her boss what she had done, “your turn.”

“Back before the War, I thought I was pretty smooth with the ladies,” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him and tried to imagine being suave, “and one night Steve and I were at a pool hall and I was trying to impress the girls. Long story short, I tried to play some pool and ended up giving a girl a black eye with the back of the cue stick.”

“Wow, Buck. Real smooth. I’m guessing she didn’t give you her number?” She smirked at him as he stuck out his tongue at her. She placed her hands on his shoulders and observed him, “I would still have given my number.”

“Ha ha. Isn’t it time for you to go?” He joked and it was her turn to stick out her tongue at him. She stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss.

“I’ll see you later. Wish me luck?”

“You don’t need it, but of course. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Sounds perfect,” she pulled away from him, turned on her heel and cast him one last glance before making her way down the block.

‘I can do this’ she repeatedly mentally to herself over and over.

She walked into the tower and headed for the front desk where a young woman sat at the receptionist's desk.

“Good morning, may I help you?” She gave Y/N a pleasant smile.

“Yes, I’m Dr. Y/L//N. I’m here for my first day,”

“Oh yes! It’s nice to meet you, there’s been a lot of buzz about you coming! The legal department is on third floor. This is your access badge. The team is there waiting for you,” she handed Y/N a few papers and a key card and pointed in the direction of the elevator.

“Thank you so much,” she put the papers in her bag and headed for the elevator. She gave the receptionist a small wave as the doors closed.  She clutched her bag tightly and leaned against the wall of the elevator with closed eyes as she waited for the ding.

When the doors opened they revealed a large, spacious and open suite. There was natural light filtering in through the many windows, which gave it a homey feel. Y/N smiled a little to herself. She walked over to the front desk and was about to introduce herself just as she was interrupted.

“Dr. Y/L/N?”

“Yes?” She turned around saw a middle aged woman with a stern expression on her face. Y/N was not getting good initial vibes from her.

“You’re late,” she said simply. Y/N glanced down at her watch and saw that the time displayed 9:01.

“A minute is considered late?” She said it almost without thinking, “I had to get my papers and key card, it took a few minutes.”

“I suggest you come earlier tomorrow then,” she had a wicked grin on her face, “if you’d like to follow me, I can show you to your office.”

“May I ask who you are?” She wasn’t about to let this woman break her on her first day.

“Mary Greene,” she stopped for a moment, “senior associate here and head of the legal department for Stark Industries.”

“Oh,”

“Make no mistake, Dr. Y/L/N, you may have been picked out by Mr. Stark himself, but you are still a child. You have much learn , and your place is one you should learn quickly. You will work here but you will answer to the me. Is that clear?”

Y/N trudged after Mary down the long hallway, past other offices. This wasn’t exactly how she imagined any of this would go. She was also not one to let things go. She paused for a moment,  “Mary? May I just ask you a question?”

“Go on,” she stopped in front of Y/N’s office and narrowed her eyes.

“I was just wondering who died and made you the queen?” Y/N  knew she would probably regret this later, but she wasn’t about to be bullied around, “I have worked hard to get where I am, just like I’m sure you did. Make no mistake, but my age makes me no less competent than you. If you expected me to just be some kid you could bully into doing your bidding, then you were wrong, Now, I believe this is my office?”

Mary’s mouth was hanging open as Y/N swiped her key card and opened the door. She let herself in and swiftly shut the door behind her. Her heart was racing; she half expected Mary to bust down the door and drag her out. One thing she had learned very early on in her legal career was that you had to stand your ground, otherwise people would just walk all over and use you.

Y/N took a look around her spacious office. It was almost exactly like her old one, she realized Tony must have gotten her and desk and furniture sent over. She walked over to antique globe she had by the side of her desk and have it a small spin. She would get used to this. People would learn to accept her, hopefully they wouldn’t all be as bad as Mary.  

She sat down in the familiar chair and sighed. So much for a first impression. She noticed she had a brand new top of the line computer and looked at it in awe, but of course Tony would only have the best. There was a bright sticky note on the corner of it, Y/N picked it up and saw that it said there was a meeting at noon. She sighed and laid her head down on  the desk. She jumped a bit at the sound of knocking on her door,. She gathered herself for a moment before going to answer it. To her surprise, there as Tony waiting for her.

“Mr. Stark-”

“Please, Tony. Mr. Stark is my father,” he stepped without her saying anything, “I just came by to wish you good luck and I must say, apparently you’ve made quite the first impression.”

“I’m sorry, sir, Mary was just so…”

“Awful? Yeah, she’s not the best people person. But she’s a talented lawyer and that’s why I keep her. You’re smart not to let her push you around. Just like I hand picked her, I hand picked you for a reason. Make sure they know that,” he set some flowers he had been holding down on her desk.

“I will try,” she with a small grin.

“After the department meeting where you’ll introduce yourself and they’ll explain procedures and blah blah blah, take the rest of the day  to settle in. Tomorrow morning, come see me when you get here, and I’ve got a case for you to start working on,” he didn’t let her get a word in edgewise but gave her a mock bow and left her office.

Y/N’s head was spinning with everything thrown at her. But to already be working on a new project was exciting enough. She spent the rest of the morning put away her supplies and making sure everything was just the way she liked.  But when the clock struck noon, she got up, held her head high and went to the meeting.

She wasn’t expecting to walk into a room so full of lawyers, a very varied group of lawyers to be fair. She looked for an empty seat but couldn’t spot one. She was about to go into panic mode when Mary’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Dr. Y/L/N, why don’t go to the front and introduce yourself. The whole department is here and exciting to get to know you,” the whole room fell into a hush and she could feel a nervous flush rise in her cheeks.

“I’d love to,” she lied as she walked up to the podium at the front. She set her notebook de and took a moment to gather her thoughts, “my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I work as a civil and human rights attorney, and I’m from San Francisco. I spent part of my time in law school working for the attorney general, dealing with criminal matters, as well as working for a family law firm, and have my doctorate in law and political science. I’ve been practicing since I passed the bar early last year, and I look forward to working here with all of you. I know everyone has different backgrounds and I think that beneficial so we can all learn from and help each other.”

“Y/N? If I may be so bold, how old are you?” She cringed for a moment at the question from one of the older men.

“I am 25, if you must know. But, let me make this very clear,” she paused for a moment for dramatic effect, “if you have a problem with my age or experience level, please say so now. I am an as competent and capable as you. Let me put it this way, young attorneys are needed because we bring a new perspective onto things: times are changing and we must adapt. We can’t handle things the way we did fifty years ago. I don’t want there to be any issues with any of us, but I will not tolerate being bullied or treated less because of my age. Now, are there any questions?”

No in the room moved or made any objections. She allowed herself a small smile as she backed away from the podium. That had shut them right up.

Maybe she did have a place there after all.

Taglist:  @sebstanwassup @ladyabby-1996 @bookaddic @jems8241

[feverdreamsuggestion]

I'm curious about what feverdream is like. Could you say 5 things about yourself and what your favorite color is? Also do you believe in life after death? I really enjoy your writing. It's so pleasantly strange.

i really like cool gemstones

i have very consistently vivid, surreal, and/or often distressing dreams. today i woke up from a ten minute nap after wandering through a ramshackle adobe city with farm houses nearby. something was definitely in the farm houses but no one got close enough to see it

i’ve started drinking chamomile tea which helps me fall asleep, bc ive suffered from insomnia for literal years at this point

i get headaches in bright light but i have a deep fascination/appreciation for like, bright neon lights at night. like vegas, new york city, settings like that where it’s technically night but it’s lit like day and you’re not sure if or when you should feel tired

in addition to running this suggestion blog i have self-indulgent stories abt my characters, periodic poems, and a journal that i write bc i guess as i’ve gotten older i’ve gotten better about using my words and i like to write a Lot

my fav color kinda changes by the day tbh. right now i’d say it’s my icon color or like a deep purple, or both bc those look cool together

i’m a bit weird abt my beliefs on death, but i feel like the energy has to go somewhere and i’ve definitely visited places that would be called “haunted.” my parents both lived in haunted houses and my sis went to a rly haunted college bc lots of people died and were buried on campus, like underneath her art building specifically. i dont experience much ghost activity myself but i have a knack for being able to feel when smth’s up. 

idk im generally inclined to believe the energy from a person goes somewhere, but i doubt it’s a conventional interpretation of heaven/hell and i don’t think everyone who dies gets stuck as a ghost haunting a place so its like. weird i guess

im glad u like my writing btw!! often its like a stream of thought just sorta flowing onto the screen so that would explain the ‘strange’ part of it lol

[prettysei-remade]

many questions tag

thank you @k-linyong for tagging me!

rules: answer these 85 statements

THE LAST

1. drink: izze sparkling juice 2. phone call: my brother 3. text message: u guys (the people in my gc r insane s a v e m e) 4. song you listened to: you&me - iz 5. time you cried: this past wednesday 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: not really 10. been depressed: do u know who you’re talking to lmao 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. light blue 13. soft pink 14. idk like this really really specific shade of seafoam green? it has to be the perfect shade tho im very picky abt colors

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: yes <3 16. fallen out of love: not in reality 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: no but im pretty sure they do, my friends and i all talk abt each other behind our backs and it’s just like an accepted thing i guess?? 19. met someone who changed you: do kpop idols count 20. found out who your friends are: no 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i mean the only ones i don’t really know are just extended family ive never met so i guess all of them 23. do you have any pets: a cat named tiger lily 😻 we just call her lily though (and i always call her kitkat for some unknown reason) 24. do you want to change your name: i used to when i was little but not anymore 25. what did you do for your last birthday: a few friends and i watched the phantom of the opera and ate way too much popcorn and chocolate-covered pretzels 26. what time did you wake up: 6:00 am but oNLY BECAUSE I REALLY NEEDED TO  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: uhm reading fanfic prolly idk 28. name something you can’t wait for: bts comeback in like two days frick 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a few minutes ago 31. what are you listening to right now: boombayah - blackpink 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no (but thomas sanders answered my ask privately once that was pretty cool) 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my brothers? that’s not new tho 34. most visited website: tumblr 35. hair colour: dirty blonde 36. long or short hair: i have shoulder-length hair and i like it but sometimes i miss my hair being long enough to actually do things with lol 37. do you have a crush on someone: at any given point in time, i almost definitely have like 2871474 different crushes at once (basically yes i do) 38. what do you like about yourself: my lips i guess 40. blood type: heck if i know 41. nickname: ruby tuesday, ruby dooby (call me this and i will end you), rhubarb, my friend’s uncle called me ruby-mama-llama-ding-dong once that was pretty weird, i also go by joe in some circles  42. relationship status: single af  43. zodiac: scorpio (don’t be scared tho im rlly nice and i actually have like 0 trust issues) 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: the get down,,saddest cancellation of 2017 all time idc what the polls say 46. tattoos: nope 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: i. i don’t think so 50. sport: ...... no but yes......i’ll let yall wonder wtf i keep going on abt regarding this for a while longer 51. vacation: anywhere with wifi and/or a pretty view 52. pair of trainers: ??

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: i just ate a pretty awesome taco salad 54. drinking: water 55. I’m about to: procrastinate on tumblr for a few hours probably 56. waiting for: death (im kidding im not waiting for anything particular atm) 57. want: A LOT OF THINGS but it’d be nice if like a really sweet cute girl had a crush on me or smth 58. get married: someday?? 59. career: tv writer  

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: hugs;; if u hug me a lot chances are high that i will fall in love with u 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: ??arms i guess?? 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesi...tant idk this is hard 

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: no 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i mean when i was like ten i had this pair of reading glasses that i could never find 70. turned someone down: no (but i may have to in the future if things turn out a certain way jdfksjfs kill me) 71. sex on the first date: NO 72. broken someone’s heart: no (i don’t think so??? i hope not) 73. had your heart broken: no 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: no (i know im the worst) 76. fallen for a friend: kind.... of?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: usually no 78. miracles: yes 79. love at first sight: not exactly 80. santa claus: well if you want to get TECHNICAL then yeah, saint nicholas was real, but i don’t believe in the modern santa claus lol 81. kiss on the first date: hmmmm idk but probably not 82. angels: yes

OTHER

84. eye colour: the most boring shade of blue in existence 85. favourite movie: the princess bride

i’m tagging @yoongthug @td-b0yz @its-tdboys @opalescentrobin @toppdawgg @starguardianlio @toppdoggzz u know the drill, only if u want to 💖

[love-ndletter]

♡ the super sweet @helianthical tagged me (forever ago lol) for this! tysm! ♡

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (im tagging mutuals id like to get to know better, whether we’ve talked before or not!)

tagging: @fxprettygirl, @goldenseoulss, @jajajaebum, @1wnwu, @beijingbabes, @sooyounqster, @fensi, @sungwoonsgf, @wu-yi-man, @whist1e, @lovelyzc, @xuanyisgfriend, @ppj, @kuwuhn, @wjsoobin, @twiceoficial, @milkjoons, @2monstax, @mortisgenesis, and @oos4n! feel free to opt out!

[[READ MORE BELOW]]

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water! 2. Phone call: i checked my phone and it was my mom 3. Text message: checked as well, my last message was from @poking-dimples 4. Song you listened to: my moms playing the radio out back and i can hear it from the front of the house so the song currently playing is katy perry’s wide awake?? i think thats the name 5. Time you cried: last night cause i was really upset lol

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no njasnfjka i cant stand alcohol to the point even talking to people about it makes me uncomfortable

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light grey, pastels, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! ♡ 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 99%. i dont accept people i dont know irl unless theyre close internet friends (aka just @moonske) 23. Do you have any pets: i currently have 5 cats (2 are foster cats) and 1 dog ♡♡ 24. Do you want to change your name: full name, yeah. my nickname, no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i cant really remember?? i think we went down to the beach and just hung out at my house lmaoo. thats usually what we do for my birthday since the beach is free.  26. What time did you wake up: i woke up at 7am because of an alarm but i didnt have nything to do for the day so i passed out until 10:53 when i just woke up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: washing my face and applying aloe lotion to my sunburn 28. Name something you can’t wait for: all the music thats going to come out within the next few weeks im so pumped!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: maybe 10 minutes ago? i saw her ordering dinner and then she went to the backyard to finish burning stuff in the fire pit 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt procrastinate so much 31. What are you listening right now: a person playing a game on youtube because the idle sound of others talking helps me focus. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have 2 uncles name tom and i used to have a good friend from elementary names tom but he always pinched me  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that i keep putting off my summer rope stuff 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube and then tumblr even though ive been pretty absent lately

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: yeah ive got quite a few and i have a super raised one on my neck but its not an issue 36. Mark/s: yeah! most recently i busted up my knee from the lake so theres lots of scratches and cuts on my left knee and i also have uncountable freckles and just recently got a lot more across my nose and cheeks from sunburn. i also have some scars and birthmarks  37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be- very specifically, my mom can verify- a part-time teacher, part-time pharmacist lmaooo 38. Haircolor: its just brown. 39. Long or short hair: its shorter i guess??? its like-when straight and if you pull it taunt to see the actual length- just past my shoulders 40. Do you have a crush on someone:  nope.  41. What do you like about yourself: i like how im really accepting of people and that when i have negative thoughts about people based on first appearance i feel bad and try to correct myself from thinking so negatively about people before i even know them 42. Piercings: the basic earlobes 43. Bloodtype: O+!! i found out after donating blood at school. the red cross sent me a thank you letter and it had a card with my blood information on it so i can keep it on me! i was really excited ajskfnajk im excited to be 17 so i can sign up for the blood donation red cross app so i can donate more often too! 44. Nickname: sav. my parents still call me vanna sometimes 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: twd, untold stories of the er, theres probably more but i cant remember any :( 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right handed?? is that what this means lmao 51. Surgery: i got my tonsils removed when i was really young but thats it 52. Hair dyed in different color: the only (basic) colors my hair hasnt been is orange, white, and grey.  53. Sport: i never was on a team or anything but my mom encouraged me to sign up for baseball when i was younger because i had a really good arm  where is question 54 ajsbfjkasfnjk what the 55. Vacation: ive been to chicago a few times for a family vacation and once i went to a hotel in milwaukee  56. Pair of trainers: do i?? own trainers??? i own one pair of sneakers nd theyre actually defective 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: dad just brought pizza home  58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: eat and then finish this 61. Waiting for: myself to finish this last batch of questions 62. Want: to finish my autobiography 63. Get married: ehhh maybe one day  64. Career: not sure..... i can only seem to think of cons for jobs id be interested in and never the pros. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i rlly dont like being hugged like 87% of the time but i also dont rlly like being kissed like nywhere so lmaoo 66. Lips or eyes: eyes! ♡♡♡ 67. Shorter or taller: taller....  68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference 71. Sensitive or loud: no preference                                                            72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: no preference

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah  80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way  81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes, every time 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: kind of? its complicated 87. Santa Claus: no ha ha  88. Kiss in the first date: maybe???  89. Angels: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: sammy ♡♡♡ my fkn queen shell never see this 91. Eye color: i have brown eyes  92. Favorite movie: Train to Busan, The Breakfast Club, Stand by Me, Zombieland, Hush, Alien, Schindler’s List, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Shaun of the Dead, DUFF, BGF, Mean Girls, Saving Private Ryan, Get Out, Ju:On, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hacksaw Ridge, The Ring, others....

[chocosvt]

❝ 92 statements tag ❞

i was tagged by jeonghan’s amazing gf @jeonghney for the 92 statement’s tag. thnk u my gold rose petal.

rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people ! if there are questions that are too personal or you don’t want to answer, skip them or make a new one :^)

THE LAST (1-5):

drink: h2o

phone call: oh gosh, i can hardly remember. pizza pizza? who doesn’t deliver so thnks for soiling my day.

text: to a group chat.

song you listened to: exo - touch it bc i appreciate art.

time you cried: lmao like yesterday bc i was watching an emotional ep of hotel hell.

HAVE YOU (6-11):

dated someone twice: nope.

kissed someone and regretted it: i dont think so?

been cheated on: in uno yes.

lost someone special: yep.

been depressed: depression is received at many levels. extremely sad yes, but not depressed.

gotten drunk and thrown up: im the one holding ur hair back.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS (12-14):

pink!!

light purple!!

silver!!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU (15-21):

made new friends: lots irl n online!!

fallen out of love: yes.

laughed until you cried: yes everyday bc i gave myself a laugh n a half.

found out someone was talking about you: nope.

met someone who changed you: i havent met them!!

found out who your friends are: ive been with the same squad for 4 yrs n we’re just chillin.

kissed someone on your facebook list: i have never used fb a day in my life.

GENERAL (22-34):

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: ^

do you have any pets: im living with 2 kitties right now!! but ive owned many different animals in the past.

do you want to change your name: she can stay as she is.

what did you do for your last birthday: my friends nd i booked a hotel room!!

what time did you wake up: 11:30am lol.

what were you doing at midnight last night: eating cereal!! every time i stay up past midnight i will eat cereal 2 celebrate all the hours of sleep im wasting.

name something you can’t wait for: to hang out with my bff’s we have not seen each other all summer.

when was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday bc she broke into my room for m&m’s.

what’s one thing you wish you could change in your life: hmm, idk. i’d like 2 be taller bc i cannot reach the popcorn shelf!!! :(

what are you listening to right now: a lot of dua lipa!!

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yup.

most visited website: tumblr / instagram / youtube / twitter

LOST QUESTIONS (35-64):

moles: a few on my arms n a trail tht’s up my shoulder. tht’s abt it

marks: i have a mark on the side of my head but my hair covers it. n one on my knee from when i fuckinj fell down a bridge.

hair color: blonde.

long hair or short: medium length is more fitting.

do you have a crush on someone: i would rather crush on a thumbtack than half the b*ys in my division. there are some nice girls tho!!

what do you like about yourself: some days there are many things!! other days there’s like 2 things. so im not sure!! im just trying my best i guess!!

piercings: two lobe piercings on both ears n im set for an industrial.

blood type: i would know the scientific notation of the distance between earth and sirius b before i knew this.

nickname: i h8 when ppl make nicknames outta my real name so i dont have any.

relationship status: sasuke and i are going on a trip to berlin next fall.

zodiac: aquarius.

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: the office / teen wolf / house / american horror story / atlab

tattoos: nope.

right or left hand: right.

surgery: no surgeries.

hair dyed in a different color: ive been a blonde bitch my whole life.

sport: basketball / sleep.

vacation: i just got back from a vacay n it was gr8 i got 10/10 sky pics!!<3

pair of trainers: im rlly obsessed with shoes but ive been wearing the same vans for 5 yrs. (my feet never grow!!)

MORE GENERAL (57-73):

eating: i like eating watermelon, twix bars n marinated ribs!! just fuck me up.

drinking: iced tea n orange juice are my faves.

i’m about to: it’s just past lunch which means it’s time to eat breakfast.

waiting for: some mf’ motivation 2 punch me in the face so i can write some more today!!

want: i rlly want a specialized rice krispie spoon ive been trying for a year!!!! :((

get married: i just dont think ill ever like someone enough 2 wanna live in the same house as them for tht long.

career: an english or bilingual teacher. i wouldnt mind teaching chemistry either.

WHICH IS BETTER (65-73):

hugs or kisses: i rlly dislike physical contact so i would pick neither, but hugs!!

lips or eyes: eyes!!

shorter or taller: it does not matter.

older or younger: older, but i wouldnt mind if they were a few months younger.

nice arms or nice stomach: i have this weird attraction to forearms so. also next time u look at  a junhui pic look at his wrists he has such nice wrists!!! what cream is he using??!?

sensitive or loud: this is so complicated. i rlly dont like loud ppl just bc im easily overwhelmed n agitated with their… over-boisterousness?? nd i will always protec the sensitive ppl n respect their tolerance levels. we just dont mesh well bc ill always worry abt hurting their feelings. u just gotta get someone who knows ur vibe. idk what im saying. i guess loud.

hook up or relationship: relationship.

troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker lol.

HAVE YOU EVER (74-83):

kissed a stranger: nope.

drank hard liquor: just picture tht vine of the kid goin “yo, all this vodka down the hatch” then being completely revolted. tht’s me

lost glasses/contact lenses: every day of my life.

turned someone down: yes.

sex in the first date: nope.

broken someone’s heart: yes.

had your heart broken: i rlly try not 2 wallow in those emotions n instead distract myself so not entirely.

been arrested: no but someone called the cops on me n my friend. (it was just a misunderstanding. i swear i wasnt doin a line of cocaine in an alley way or anything like tht tjgnjt4e)

fallen for a friend: yes!!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN (84-89):

yourself: *insert meme of me watching my own back*

miracles: it would be a miracle if junhui grew out his hair. but also chunks ahoy chocolate chip cookies.

love at first sight: not rlly. it’s usually falling for the idea of being with that person, instead of who they actually are as a person.

santa claus: im still waiting for my easy bake oven u jolly piece of shit.

kiss on the first date: maybe a cheek kiss? idk. a little spice is always nice.

angels: yes. who else is up there bowling?

OTHER (90-92):

favorite thing to do when you’re bored: zone off and completely disassociate.

do you wear socks to sleep: ive done it like 3 times. it’s not tht bad.

favorite movies: FLIPPED. captain phillips / my neighbour totoro / napoleon dynamite.

tagging : oh gosh idk (ofc this is optional!!) @jeonghangif / @sukaato / @meanei / @lolitasletters / @jaehyunsleatherpants / @boysbe / @seokshuas / @trbld-writer

[spin-me-a-tapestry]

85 question game

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag twenty people

tagged by @dasfreefree

the last

drink: water

phone call: a work call lol

text message: (to my friendo kelsey) “aahhhh omg i totally forgot lolol ill do it tonighy”

song you listened to: Do I Wanna Know? by The Arctic Monkeys

time you cried: *katya voice* i havent felt emotion since the accident (jk it was yesterday lolol)

dated someone twice: never lolol

kissed someone and regretted it: back in junior year of high school when i had to kiss someone on stage for the musical lolol

been cheated on: never

lost someone special: i guess when my grandma died which was 3 years ago now

been depressed: right now lololol

gotten drunk and thrown up: back in junior year of college i did a performance art piece for one of my classes where i filmed myself taking a shot of vodka roughly every minute for a half hour (i ended up consuming like 19 shots)

three favourite colours

baby blue

forest green

baby pink

in the last year have you

made new friends: hhmmmm idk??  ive def met new people

fallen out of love: idt ive ever been in love so uuhh no

laughed until you cried: prob this past weekend

found out someone was talking about you: idk im always paranoid about other people talking about me tho

met someone who changed you: not really

found out who your friends are: i guess??

kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? basically everyone

do you have any pets? yep! a kitty

do you want to change your name? not really, i cant really picture myself with any other name tbh

what did you do for your last birthday? my friend took me out to brickwall tavern and i had a really good chicken pot pie

what time did you wake up? for work i have to get up at like 6 or 6:30 but when im not working it depends on how late i stayed up the previous night lolol

what were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

name something you can’t wait for: to move the fuck ooouuutttt and also to have enough money to go on a trip somewhere ive been dying to travel

when was the last time you saw your mum: last night cause uuhhh i live at home still :’)

what are you listening to right now? the sound of my own typing

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeh!!  i was friends with a guy named tom in college and we had a lot of studio classes together but i havent talked to him in a while

something that is getting on your nerves: work related things

most visited website: its between tumblr youtube and facebook i kinda just check those three on an endless loop all the time

hair colour: blonde but im trying to grow the color out so my natural colors coming through (its like a light brown)

long or short hair: suuuuuuuper long i havent gotten a haircut in like a year

do you have a crush on someone? yeh sort of

what do you like about yourself? im smart and funny and actually have some common sense B) B) B)

piercings: just one on each ear

blood type: omg i used to know this and i forgot but i think im AB something

nickname: ernie B)

zodiac: capricorn

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show(s): Rupauls Drag Race, Steven Universe, Legion, Chewing Gum, Bob’s Burgers, Louie, Black Mirror, Face Off

tattoos: none but i want one sooo baaaddd

right or left handed: left!

surgery: got my wisdom teeth removed and got a mole excised but thats it

sport: played basketball for 2 weeks in the 1st grade lololol

vacation: last time i went on a legit vacation was last year to Cape Cod with the fam

pair of trainers: sketchers B)

more general

eating: nothing right now but i just had a panera sandwich & chips & a cookie for lunch

drinking: water

i’m about to: avoid doing more work for the next like 10 minutes

waiting for: this day to be over so i can go home and sleep

want: to go to the beach again before summers over but the weathers been so crappy

get married: i honestly dont want to???  like if i settle down with someone and they wanna get married i would but if they didnt id be cool with that too

career: just trying to make money and pay my bills tbh i havent done what i actually enjoy doing (art) in months

which is better?

hugs or kisses: ive never been kissed before but i think id enjoy kisses more tbh

lips or eyes: waahhh this is a hard one!!!  uuhhhh eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: older or same age

nice arms or nice stomach: both please (but nice arms is always gud)

hookup or relationship: relationship!

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but its my secret fantasy to be a troublemaker rebel lil shit who doesnt care about anything and like has millions of piercings and a shaved head and wears leather jackets all the time u feel me

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: thats literally all i drink lolol

lose glasses/contact lenses: i lost my glasses multiple times as a child my parents were not happy with me

turned someone down: yeah a few times and i honestly regret it but im such a nervous anxiety-ridden lil shit its a vicious cycle

sex on the first date: prob not i would get nervous just kissing someone on the first date

had your heart broken: oh yeah

been arrested: nope!  just pulled over a couple times

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

do you believe in

yourself: recently not really but im trying

miracles: not really??  its nice to think that miracles do happen but im not spiritual/religious enough to fully believe in them

love at first sight: hell no its a lie

santa claus: i mean who else gives me sick presents certainly not my parents who eerily have the same exact handwriting as santa claus

kiss on the first date: never been kissed never kissed anyone so no

angels: idk about this one cause i like to think that somehow family members who have died are looking out for me???  but again my atheist ass finds it hard to believe

other

eye colour: green!

favourite movie: u cant ask me this do u know how many movies ive seen i cant even count all my fave movies on both my hands

idfk who else to tag cause all the people i know have already been tagged so if u see this and u follow me DO IT IF U HAVENT ALREADY DONE IT!!!!!!!

[flairandpassion]

tagged by @moreracquetball thanks for tagging me c: this is like the longest post ive ever been tagged in so that’s fun :D

I tag @subtleglories @chickenmerengo @stephaniejblockmotherme @eldertwelvecupsofcoffee @elderandrew @weisenbxchfelds @nikolaevna-romanova @whizzerbrwn @strengthsbasedmediocrity @wihzzerbrown @livefortissimo @whizzerbrowne also if you wanna just go ahead and do it and tag people, go right on ahead! you can consider yourself tagged by me haha

last 

1. drink? five alive mango citrus

2. phone call? my mom

3. text message? my dad

4. song you listened to? making a home (falsettos)

5. time you cried? it was in may, on my road trip to ~ orlando ~ and it was ‘cuz my cousins were bullying me and usually it’s good-natured teasing but it was getting a bit much so i ended up crying in front of them lmao (but i had a lot of fun, and i definitely sang kevin’s “ORLANDO” way too much)

have you ever

6. dated someone twice? nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it? no

8. been cheated on? no

9. lost someone special? no

10. gotten drunk and thrown up? lol yes

favorite colors:

11. red

12. golden yellow

13. navy blue

in the last year have you

14. made new friends? yes!

15. fallen out of love? nope

16. laughed until you cried? i think so? probably; i laugh a lot and i laugh often

17. found out someone was talking about you? yes

18. met someone who changed you? no

19. found out who your friends are? kind of? in this last year, ive kinda been finding out who *i* am, and as a result, im finding out who really appreciates me for me, and that’s nice

20. kissed someone on your facebook list? nooope

general:

21. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? most of them

22. do you have any pets? nah, but i live with a dog who belongs to my ex-roommate

23. do you want to change your name? no, i quite like it :)

24. what did you do for your last birthday? i cleaned my room in the morning, my parents sent me these delicious chocolate strawberries, i watched the newsies pro-shoot with one of my best friends, we went out to eat korean food, and then bought drinks and came back home to finish act two of newsies--it was one of my favourite birthdays!

25. what time did you wake up? 10am? i had an alarm for 8am but it just didnt work out lol

26. what were you doing at midnight last night? i got frustrated i couldnt sleep so i pulled out my tablet and reread the second chapter of @moreracquetball‘s “the games i play” because honestly it’s such a good note to end the day on

27. name something you can’t wait for? ive decided i want to go to a sparring class on friday and the instructor’s kind of cute, so if im being completely honest, then that! but there’s a lot of other things, like dodie’s new ep, and im heading to skyzone, and falsettos being on broadwayhd! it’s been a good month of exciting things

28. when was the last time you saw your mom? on monday (two days ago)

29. what are you listening to right now? the sounds of the city outside; i live by a highway so i hear cars passing all the time and it’s soothing

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yeah! it took me a bit to remember, but i knew a guy in high school names thomas so i guess he counts? although now im second-guessing his name l o l

31. something that is getting on your nerves? my inability to take care of myself and my eating habits; i always forget to eat and it’s so bad

32. most visited website? ao3

34. long or short hair? short

35. do you have a crush on someone? the closest thing would probably be finding that instructor cute, but i dont think it really counts as a crush

36. what do you like about yourself? my enthusiasm! i’d also like to think i’m pretty open-minded and good at listening

37. piercing? just my ears

38. bloodtype? O+ ?

39. nickname? my name is basically already a nickname, so i dont really have one that has stuck

40. relationship status? single

41. zodiac? cancer

42. pronouns? she/her

43. favorite tv show? bbc merlin (find me on my main blog @reineyday if you like merlin as well #shamelessselfpromo)

44. tattoos? yep! a merlin on my left arm, a crown (king arthur’s tbh, but it also kinda refers to my name as well) on my right arm, a small stick-and-poke umbrella on my right heel (it’s a pun), and i kinda want a fortissimo tattoo on my left ankle bc falsettos tbh, but i want to know how to read music properly before i get it

45. right or left handed? right handed

46. surgery? yeah ive had surgery on my ears multiple times (my ear drums, to be specific)

47. sport? taekwondo, and also rock climbing

48. vacation? yes please! right now, i most want a new york trip to see more broadway shows, but i’ll honestly take anywhere new

49. pair of trainers? im not exactly sure what trainers refer to, but i wear those standard red converse

more general

50. eating: nothing rn, and im wondering if that is a correct move to make

51. drinking: nothing rn, but i just finished my five alive

52. i’m about to: finish a cover letter, download some stuff, buy tickets to a thing, and head to bed... lowkey thinking about putting off the cover letter tho

53. waiting for: the perfect time to listen to the last act of “36 questions” cuz ive been too tired to listen to it and properly appreciate it, y’know?

54. want: a falsettos movie poster

55. get married? maybe? probably? ideally? who tf knows

56. career? something artsy; the pipe dream right now is musical theatre--being on stage singing, or being backstage doing lighting or set designing--and even though the pipe dream changes from time to time, it’s always in an artistic direction

which is better

57. hugs or kisses? hugs? i havent really kissed enough to make an informed decision

58. lips or eyes? eyes

59. shorter or taller? taller, but short is good too

60. older or younger? older

61. nice arms or nice stomach? arms are the more visible of the two, but nice stomachs are great too, so can i say both?

62. hook up or relationship? relationship

63. troublemaker or hesitant? both have their appeals

have you ever

64. kissed a stranger? nope

65. drank hard liquor? yeah

66. lost glasses/contacts? yeah lol

67. turned someone down? yeah, but it was like, the fourth grade l o l

68. had sex on the first date? lol no

69. broken someones heart? nah, unless my mom counts (sorry mom)

70. had your heart broken? i dont think so, no

71. been arrested? nah

72. cried when someone died? no, but i think it’s just cuz ive been lucky enough not to have lost anyone close enough to me to prompt tears (unless we’re talking fictional deaths, ‘cuz i’ve cried at many of those)

73. fallen for a friend? yeah :/

do you believe in

74. yourself? on most days, i do :)

75. miracles? yeah, i think so

76. love at first sight? nah

77. santa? no, but i like thinking he exists--i believe in him like i believe in angels (see #79)

78. kiss on the first date? sure c:

79. angels? only in a fanciful way? i believe in angels like i believe in anything else i come to know about through stories

other

80. current best friend’s name: robyne; kristine; carolyn; elaine

81. eye color: brown

82. favorite movie: about time; eternal sunshine of the spotless mind; tangled

[daydr-eam]

“should we know us a little better” tag 📜

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people maaaan this is long

tagged by @shownud (jasdbasd thanks gurl ilu 🌺🌼💕🌷)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: monsta 

2. Phone call: my friend

3. Text message: "why are you taking the birds??”

4. Song you listened to: married to the music - shinee

5. Time you cried: this is embarrassing but last night a tear fell out of my eye as i was looking at kihyun pics

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: i guess

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: do not...... eat oreos...... after getting very drunk (you will throw up blackness)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: green, blue, pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes everyone on tumblr 🌷💕

16. Fallen out of love: i doubt it

17. Laughed until you cried: most likely

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes

19. Met someone who changed you: @moonbebe (for the worse probably)

20. Found out who your friends are: idk dude

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: fml

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them

23. Do you have any pets: i have leo my kit, i have rosie my doog, i have mango and peach my boods and i have a fat fish named oscar

24. Do you want to change your name: yeah kind of, i hate my name for some reason

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: probably sat in my room alone playing ps1 i usually do that

26. What time did you wake up: like 1:30pm lol rop

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i’m pretty sure i was making thos bomb ass gifsets

28. Name something you can’t wait for: me and kihyuns inevitable wedding

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about 2 months ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ill be typing forever ha

31. What are you listening right now: love sick by shinee 🌈 (you can tell what album im listening to during this lfmao)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes???

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ppl who think veganism is wrong (lmgao die??)

34. Most visited Website: probably tumblr lolol or youtube

35. Mole/s: one on each side of my face, a few on each arm, and one big boi on the side of my left leg... and one next to my left nip lol (its cute)

36. Mark/s: i think the most interesting is the scar in my eyebrow????? i like to tell ppl this story because a lot of people assume i just cut my brow like that to look edgy (like no binch i am edgy naturally).. basically when i was a small child i was in me and my brothers bomb ass games room and i tripped over the nintendo controller cord he was holding, and my face fell onto plastic train tracks on the ground and it cut my eyebrow in half

37. Childhood dream: idk?? probably wanted to be a vet or some shit

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: its like medium length now 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: k-kihyun

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyebrows are nice??? thats about it

42. Piercings: both ears are stretched, and then i have a conch in my right ear (i used to have more but i fucked up)

43. Bloodtype: O+ lol im a basic bitch

44. Nickname: idk but @moonbebe calls me ashl

45. Relationship status: kihyun

46. Zodiac: saggittarius (and so is my boi)

47. Pronouns: she & her

48. Favorite TV Show: dragon ball z 

49. Tattoos: nope but i want some

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: nope

52. Piercing: yeah wtf this already got answered

53. Sport: no thanks no thanks

55. Vacation: is this asking me if im on one or if ive been on one or if im going on one or ????? 

56. Pair of trainers: are trainers sporty shoes? idk

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: no im not eating rn???? what is this q

58. Drinking: no???

59. I’m about to: eat soup and watch the next 2 episodes of lookout (kashdhasdsafd my boi kibum)

61. Waiting for: death

62. Want: death

63. Get married: yes me and kihyun have decided yes

64. Career: death

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses pls kihyun

66. Lips or eyes: eyes probably but idk both good

67. Shorter or taller: taller (please im an amazon woman)

68. Older or younger: older i guess

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach and by stomach i mean a pudgy cute lil tum!!!!

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive but a balance of both is nice

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: i like me a bad boi but i also like me a good boi so???

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: idk what this is but maybe

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: yes eek

78. Sex in the first date: no

79. Broken someones heart: yes lmao hahhaha

80. Had your heart broken: i guess but teen years dont count anymore

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: no

85. Miracles: no

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss in the first date: if its kihyun

89. Angels: no (wow i really am a skeptic)

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: elou

91. Eyecolor: light brown (it looks gold in some lights)

92. Favorite movie: look idk this is a hard one

ok done!!! that was a long one but it was fun!! so i understand if you don’t wanna do this, but i’m gonna tag @moonbebe @limechangkyun (focus on ur exams bith) @chaerismatic @kihyunswife @wonhosflower @m0nst4x @supersaiyum @smol-kihyuns @ukihyunnie @c-kyunjpg @amorjeon @kihynh @baeker @jiminieji 🌼🌷🌹🌻

sorry if i’m like always tagging the same ppl?????? so i tagged a few newer mutuals 💜💜💜

ignore this if you dont wanna do it !!!!!