#STOP BELIEVING THAT YOUTUBE HAS THE SECRET TO WRITING

[justarandombrit]

Well. Here you go, I guess. (To avoid the massive amount of preamble skip to "The return of lines from Spies Are Forever...")

Spies Are Forever is a 2016 spy-parody musical set in 1960s America. It's by the Tin Can Bros and is all professionally recorded on YouTube for free, so I recommend watching it before reading this, as I will be talking about the penultimate in-character song from this musical, which, despite being a parody, is very much also a serious spy story, with a lot of twists and turns.

It is probably my favourite musical of all time, so I'll give you an hour or so to watch it.

…

Back? Has your brain chemistry been fundamentally changed? Yeah, that happens.

Anyway, just in case you decided that you didn't care about spoilers, I'll give you a quick overview of the plot you need for this essay.

Agent Curt Mega has been retired from spying for four years, since his partner (Owen Carvour)’s death due to a mistake Curt made. He decides to get back into the field to fight the enigmatic Deadliest Man Alive and ridiculous Baron Von Nazi, and stop the construction of the “Nazi Super Castle”. Along the way, he works with Cynthia Houston, head of the American Secret Service, Barb Larvernor, scientist, Tatiana Slohzo, Russian spy and the Informant, informant.

Despite being a comedy first and foremost, a lot of the musical hinges on the villain’s plot, and that is important in this overview.

We are led to believe that Von Nazi is the “brains” behind the operation, so to speak (despite him having none himself), up until a confrontation where, after killing the prince of The New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia and convincing the country's government to sign off on the plans for the Super Castle, the DMA literally and figuratively stabs Von Nazi in the back.

This, like many of the DMA's actions throughout the show, seems completely unmotivated. The main characters question this, and, in a suspenseful, absolutely devastating moment that I cannot do justice through the medium of writing, the DMA is revealed to be Owen.

I could write pages and pages about this moment, about the foreshadowing leading up to it, about Curt's reaction, Tatiana's reaction, Joe Walker and (actor) Curt Mega’s acting, how it's Joey Richter (Owen’s actor) who says the line “Personal history does have its benefits, Mega”, that line itself! This scene keeps me up at night, but this essay isn't about that.

This essay is about the song directly following this scene.

As Owen predicts in his speech, Curt goes after him instead of the information warehouses created by Owen’s agency, Chimera. This song serves as a villain song for Owen, no longer disguised as the Deadliest Man Alive, and also a duet for Owen and Curt.

Although up until now I have been explaining the plot in order, a good chunk of this analysis requires the context of retrospect. So, again I implore you to watch it. It's only 8 minutes long and would really make my job easier. Act Two, Part Six.

https://youtu.be/yMBi9hp2QVQ?si=IUz42a_1DTMi4eNS

So. Curt and Owen were lovers. Even though that moment (along with Curt shooting Owen) had been spoiled for me before watching, I still gasped at that scene. Anyway, with the added context of what sort of “partners” they were, we can now move into the analysis.

I'm no music theorist, as evidenced by most of this essay being about the depth of the lyrics, not the music, but, as YouTube user ConsiderableColors pointed out in their video-essay “Motifs Of Remembrance In Spies Are Forever”, One Step Ahead does not have a single use of the common leitmotifs throughout the rest of the show, symbolising how Curt has moved on from mourning and feeling guilt over Owen, and accepted what he has to do.

(Sidenote; that video is incredibly good, and I'll be linking it at the end along with another SAF video-essay I love)

The return of lines from Spies Are Forever (song), specifically, “Who do you trust, who do you betray?”, really highlights TalkFine’s amazing lyric writing, recontextualising lines from the opening song, which clearly parodies the famously nonsensical Bond songs, because, as we all know:

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way...

I hope somebody got that reference.

Anyway, one important aspect in the structure of One Step Ahead is, for the most part, Owen always sings his lines before Curt, reflecting how he is, a, literally ahead of Curt, as he is being chased throughout most of the song, and, b, was figuratively ahead of Curt for most of the show, knowing and predicting his every move.

Owen sings “One step ahead, that's how it's always been”, to make out that Curt is incompetent, as we see him do multiple times in the previous scene. Of course, at this point, the audience should realise that this is untrue, but it makes complete sense why Owen, the man who almost died because of a mistake Curt made, should think this.

In the next verse, Owen continues with the much softer, although arguably more hurtful to Curt, “One step ahead, I'm sorry my old friend / But I'm still here / After all those years when you thought I was dead / I was one step ahead”

When listening to the song for the first time, “old friend” may sound like a bittersweet term of endearment, but with the context of the true nature of Owen and Curt’s relationship, this can be read more as an insult, as Owen disregarding their relationship, and pretending nothing ever happened between them.

Curt, still reprising lines from Spies Are Forever, next sings “It's time to save the world again”, making no mention of beating Owen or “overthrow(ing) (...) an evil power” like the ensemble sings at the start of the song, because at this point, Curt still has hope for Owen. He still believes he can get Owen to leave Chimera and he can get the Owen he knew in the opening song back.

Owen quickly shoots down this idea with “Typical Curt / And pretend to be a hero again”, which both takes a shot at Curt’s saviour complex, but also all of the duo’s previous beliefs, which we know Owen now believes were not really the right thing to do. Thus, this line could also be read as Owen showing his disdain for both A.S.S and MI6, and, by proxy, who he used to be, and who Curt still is.

Curt retaliates, now giving up on reprising SAF and instead following the tune Owen sang, with “Typical jerk!”, showing that he's now somewhat accepted that he won't be able to easily get Owen back, and has fully joined in on the fight. (Also I don't know how to include this but, after this line in the live version of the song Joey (Owen) says “Ooh, sick burn” in the most sarcastic way you've ever heard and it's amazing)

He then asks “What happened to the man I knew?”, implying that he's realised that Owen is no longer “The man [he] knew”

Owen gives a snarky response in, “It's a little late for an interview”, further showing his hatred of the man he used to be, and refusing to defend himself and his beliefs, despite going on to do exactly that after this song.

“Feelin’ a lot of déjà vu again” This line is sung one inch away from each other’s faces… I'm just saying, they knew what they were doing.

We can see that all of the quipping in the previous lines got to Curt, as he sounds much angrier than at the start when he sings “It's time for you to feel the heat”

Of course, Owen retorts with the much calmer “Revenge is going to taste so sweet”, once again reminding Curt, and us, the viewers, of his motivation throughout this song. In this song, Owen doesn't attempt to hide or downplay how much his trauma from Curt leaving him to die, or his desire to get revenge influenced his actions, unlike later, in The Staircase Scene, where he seems to genuinely believe he is acting for the good of spies, and humanity as a whole.

In fact, pretty much the only time revenge seems to play a factor in his choices when he's monologuing in The Staircase Scene, is when he says “I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in”. This, along with how his voice breaks when he says that line, tells us that he may be being more honest about his true motivation during this song, and lying, to an extent, about it afterwards.

They both proceed to call each other platonic, and slightly condescending nicknames (e.g. pal, buddy), both to try and undermine each other, and also possibly because they're still rightfully cautious to admit that they were anything more than that, in a society that demonised and criminalised homosexuality, especially for government workers, like secret agents.

Afterwards, Curt tries to retroactively justify Owen’s betrayal to himself, as we see in “You played me from the start”. He tries to convince himself that the betrayal was inevitable, and that Owen had been lying since they met, unable to accept that Owen really had changed because of Curt’s own actions.

“Well look at you / Without a clue” Owen quickly refutes this, unwilling to let Curt believe he is completely innocent, by reinforcing that he really did love Curt once.

Instead of doubling down, Curt goes with what Owen said, attempting to appeal to his emotion with “You know you broke my heart”.

“Don't deny I was the better spy” This line breaks me. Genuinely, I've spent hours thinking about this line. Think about the implications. PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS.

See, the reason I love this line so much is that Owen is right. Objectively speaking, Owen is the better spy. And not in the way that Cynthia thinks, and not in the way he implies throughout the show. Curt is not incompetent by any means, but he is reckless. Owen is not.

The only reason Owen even survived at the start of the musical was because he took the proper safety precautions to limit the blast of the (completely unneeded) bomb Curt set the timer purposefully too short for. It makes complete sense why Owen would think he's better at spying, however I don't believe that he does. Maybe to an extent. But not fully.

“Don't deny” shows he really wants validation via this statement. He wants Curt to admit that he's better. That what happened was Curt’s fault. Maybe Owen does believe he's the better spy, maybe he doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Curt believes he is.

(I had a lot more to say about that line than I thought…)

Instead of succumbing to Owen’s demand, Curt retorts, “I liked you better when you were dead”, which seems harsh, but utterly understandable. Owen’s betrayal hurt Curt so deeply, so intensely, that he preferred the years spent in mourning for his lover, quitting his job and drinking so much he hallucinated Owen’s ghost, because at least that Owen was the one he knew. The Owen that died a hero, rather than the one who lived long enough to become the monster.

Please forgive that cliché, but it seemed applicable.

After this, Owen reiterates “One step ahead / It's how it's always been”, but this time, Curt responds directly to Owen, with, “Can't let you win”. He's now outright saying that he and Owen are on opposite sides, rather than speaking vaguely about “saving the world”.

Owen, while still angry, again seems to be more interested in reminding Curt of his mistake and making him suffer emotionally. The “I'm still here” has an unspoken “Even though you weren't”.

Then, after Curt’s line, he goes back to the superiority idea, “And I'm better than you again”.

Interestingly, Curt doesn't attempt to appeal to Owen’s emotions again, or even insult him, instead just responding, “This is the end”. Either, at this point he has fully given up on reasoning with Owen, or, the earlier “You know you broke my heart” was a mistake, an accidental show of vulnerability Curt didn't mean.

My personal interpretation was that the line was a last-ditch effort from Curt, a sort of hail Mary to try and get Owen to see sense by alluding to their relationship. We see him do this later on in The Staircase Scene, by outright stating it, and it almost works. Almost.

Owen's line, “No one's innocent” shows a lot about his character. Even though he's trying to shift blame onto Curt, he still acknowledges wrong-doing. After all, he can't pin the over 1,000 people he killed as the Deadliest Man Alive on Curt, that was all him.

“My friend, you lost your mind” Here, Curt does the exact opposite of what he was doing before. Instead of making it out that Owen never loved him in the first place, e.g. “You played me from the start”, he disregards the reasons Owen joined Chimera, blaming it on Owen “going insane” or “losing his mind”.

As we've now come to expect, Owen immediately shuts this down, determined to make Curt feel the full gravity of what Owen sees as his original betrayal. When he says, “And you've been blind”, Owen is talking about how, in his opinion, Curt is blind to all the pain he caused, which we know is actually untrue, and we also know that Owen knows this, see “I spent as much time hating you as you did”. This, like so much in this song, is a way to guilt trip Curt, despite being an obvious lie.

This line could also be interpreted as Curt being blind to Chimera, and being so enamoured by spying and taking down governments that he is forgetting to notice (what Owen thinks is) the bigger picture.

“Now we're at the end” is pretty self-explanatory. This is the climax of the show, the point all of this has been leading up to.

The line “This is what you made me do” is sung by both Curt and Owen and has different connotations for each. Owen is once again referring to Curt abandoning him in the warehouse, causing him to join Chimera. Curt is talking about the fight itself, as he's tried to reason with Owen, but, after all of this, he's now at the end of his tether.

In the lines

“We're done”

“We're through!”

Owen sings first, symbolising how he moved on faster (well, visually, but I stick by the “Owen still had feelings for Curt until his real death” headcanon - I mean, he could've shot Curt at basically any point throughout The Staircase Scene, he chose not to). But Curt shouts louder, showing his anger about how Owen has acted after “coming back from the dead”. Also, this is their official breakup. Just think about that for a second.

These lines could also link back to the fact that this is the climax of the show, the writers are sort of telling you “This is it guys, we’re almost finished”.

The finality of the moment is emphasised by “I've nothing left to say to you”. They've both made their cases, neither was convinced, but they've said all that was needed.

After this, there's a direct homage to The Sound of Music,

“So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

Goodbye”

…only in a minor key, taking the music from a romance and altering it slightly, depicting Curt and Owen’s own relationship. Furthermore, this is the goodbye hinted to in both Spies Are Forever and The Coldest Goodbye. This is the coldest goodbye. Why did I reread that in Eleanor Shellstrop’s voice

In conclusion, One Step Ahead is a song about truth, betrayal, tragedy and love. Curtwen is one of my top ten ships (and just character dynamics in general) of all time, and I hope this essay did them justice. Hopefully I didn't repeat myself too much? I love this song, show and characters so much that I got incredibly overexcited for massive parts of this.

I hope you at least got something out of reading this, and so one last toast. To honour-

Links:

ConsiderableColors’ essay: https://youtu.be/cS05pAQAFaY?si=16BHM3eU-gEUkxXE

Spies Are Forever: Decoded:

https://youtu.be/OYAbmbKoaqc?si=9EpZ1wYr_SMBPCP0

Ooh! New one!

How Spies Are Forever Defies Cliché With Parody

https://youtu.be/QhIwDhZKPvM?si=h6IFpKoFCHR0T-iK

(I can't believe this is also about Argylle lmaoooo)

[stormiclown]

Master post (& fics I’m planning to write)

Ladies and Gentlemen: My take on Adrien having his own antagonist like Marinette has Lila and Chloe. A new transfer students makes an enemy of the entire class, but Adrien seems to be his main target.

Part 1 Part 2 Headcannons

Status: Completed (maybe)

Let Her Eat Cake: A one shot in which Lila is exposed as Hawkmoth’s ally, which opens up questions about Francois DuPont. In other words, Bustier is accused of being Mayura.

Read Here

Status: Completed

Lila’s Reflection: A one shot in which Lila has a twin sister who she feels inferior against. Includes Lilanette, Male Marinette, and Lila angst.

Read Here

Status: Completed

Marion Dupain-Cheng: Ice Cold: So we know the umbrella scene where Adrien basically pulls his “sad boy” card to make Marinette feel bad for him? Realistically, she shouldn’t have fallen in love with him just like that. I think she should have been wary of him because of his association with Chloe or outright hate him after he scolded her for being happy that Chloe was leaving. Or in ’Bubbler’ when all he cared about was having a party and not that adults we’re literally being launched into the sky. Or in ‘Despair Bear’ after a day of forced niceties he laughed when Chloe insulted Mylene’s macaroons. Long story short, Marinette shouldn’t have tolerated Adrien for as long as she did much less have a crush on him. If she did, it should’ve been obliterated by now. (This is a Drabble)

Read Here

Status: Completed

A Beetle’s Blossom: The members of the Justice League have seen many things. The deaths and resurrection of some of their comrades, alien doomsdays, off planet missions, and the literal destruction of the world. But the boy who *strongly* resembles Bruce in more ways than just his appearance has them stumped, especially Bruce himself.

On AO3

Status: On going

Fics That Are Coming Soon

The Most Hated Girl in Paris: An AU where instead of getting off Scott free, Chloe is legally punished for the Train Incident and has to deal with the fact that’s she’s Paris’ most hated girl. She must decide if she wants to continue living this way or if she’s going to claw her way to redemption. Long term project.

Tumblr Concept

Status: Not started

Not So Miraculous After all: Tired of citizens justifying their reckless behavior with the Miraculous Cure, Ladybug stops using it, making sure that consequences get left behind.

Status: Not Started

The Fall of A Queen (C. Bourgeois): An Au where Andre isn’t re-elected as Mayor. This changes everything. Long term project.

Status: Not Started

Cuisine Paradise: Seeing as both their parents work in the food industry, Alya and Marinette decide to start a YouTube channel together to share their recipes; Marinette’s pastries and Alya’s dinner recipes. It all in good fun and they accidentally become famous. Long term project.

Status: Not Started

New Boy In Town (Remy Gasteau): The son of the Prime Minister transfers to Francois DuPont and takes an interest in Marinette. Extremely long term project.

Based on an ask I submitted to @mcheang

Status: Not Started

Civil War (Paris Edition): No matter how hard Lila tries, the class refuses to turn against Marinette, believing that Lila was just confused and there was a misunderstanding. In an attempt to get the girls to help her with Adrien, she insists that Marinette would go great with Luka. It was a brilliant plan— until war breaks out over the class. Lukanette vs Adrienette. Short term project.

Status: Not Started

Round the World Trip: After winning a series of contests, essay challenges, and competitions, Marion unintentionally earned his class a fully paid global trip over summer vacation. Includes Male Marinette and shenanigans. Mid-length project.

Status: Not Started

Damian’s Secret Brother: After ruining any chance at a brotherly relationship with Tim after his murder attempts, Damian Wayne is determined to prove that he wasn’t just a brutish assassin. The discovery of his newest biological brother provided him with the opportunity to show everyone that he could be civil with new family members. But he didn’t think he would get attached to the friendly baker’s boy who had ambitions to be a fashion designer. Male Marinette and bio-dad Bruce Wayne. Mid-length project.

Status: Not Started

[worldheadcanons]

Oh I have a question, what if the reader thought that this was all some sort of fun joke (like assuming it's for a youtube video or something) and decides to play along and even flirts back? Even when things got creepy the reader is stupid enough to not stop feeding into their obsession and delusions.

thank you anon for stupid reader content. we need more content where the reader maybe has a screw loose and is sort of silly like this!

personally i give every reader slightly different traits depending on the character.. i think i’ll end up writing this scenario out so think of this as a really really rough draft (sorry in advance)

i think for alfred the reader would flirt back in a “haha lmao so what prank show do you work for” way. like it’s light hearted and fun, nothing heated. alfred is, of course, deeply into it. alfred’s like “i can see you through your upstairs window lol” and reader just goes “sick if ur nice maybe I’ll give you something to really look at” and alfred DIES!! he goes quiet and then the reader is like “sorry is that bad for the video? you can just cut it my bad I’ll keep it pg for you from now on”. reader does not realize it is not a prank and that alfred is totally hot under the collar bc of reader

arthur’s reader is a bit more intelligent generally so reader would probably be thinking something like ‘okay this is a rlly long winded prank im just gonna freak this guy out so he leaves me alone’. arthur has already established himself as sort of a ‘secret admirer’ so when he calls the reader just coos into the phone “oh secret admirer.. i’m dying to know who you are.. I feel like we’ve gotten so close” and arthur is awestruck he’s DREAMED of this moment. he goes quiet and reader is thinking like ‘lmao gottem’ but then arthur responds saying that he feels the same way and maybe slips in that if you unlocked your back door he’d show himself to you. I think by the end reader would realize it is indeed not a prank!

francis’ reader is a girlboss so… reader knows deep down it is not a prank but reader is treating it like one anyways. francis starts the call per usual but is cut off by reader who is very openly flirtatious and bordering seductive today. he’s like ‘wow okay’ but super into it trust me. i can’t really think of what they would say exactly off the top of my head but i know that reader tops in this scenario so do with that what you will ^_^

matthew‘s reader fully believes it is a prank show actually. “Is this gonna be on tv? you can film from wherever, i’m dressed.” and matthew, realizing that reader thinks he’s joking, sort of chuckles and is like “yea sure I can put you on tv. give me your best scared face.” he’s either recording reader on his phone or he’s watching with anticipation from the bushes. of course, reader is completely with it because duh this guy is a tv executive gotta do what u gotta do for the camera. “lay on the bed a bit. tilt your head to the right— yea, that’s perfect.” a little strange for a prank show but okay. matthew is going to use reader’s stupidity against reader for a bit. “alright that’s all the uh footage i need. you should really consider becoming an actor. you look gorgeous on camera.” he says this knowing good and well the only camera he wants you on is his own <\3

[missellafitz]

For the record, my belief about these two being together preceded this YouTube comment. Why did I believe it? Well, just watch A Man and His Music with Ella and Jobim from 1967. Ella and Frank have an undeniable chemistry. They're uncharacteristically playful together (by that, I mean that Frank is "known" to be this hard guy and Ella is typically described as being incredibly shy and nervous. But there were no nerves on the program nor was Frank being a hard ass or a blow hard. I'll write an entire post about that show, so back to this comment)...

I love this comment 😅. And I've spent two months trying to verify the claims made in it. Let's go through each:

1. Did Ella ever perform in a hotel on Ocean Drive in Miami Beach circa 1983? I have not found evidence of this although she has certainly performed on Ocean Drive in other, documented years. It would take archived Miami newspapers to really get the answer to this one, and I ain't near Florida.

2. "With a combo" - She performed from the 1970s on with a combo, so this checks out.

3. Favorite male singer is Frank Sinatra? Haven't done an extensive search on this, but her comments about Frank through the years would suggest so. She went to his concerts as much as she could.

4. Secret affair for over 20 years? The CRUX of the question! Here's my take, if this is true, what were the years? I'd say from 1955 to the mid to late 70s. By 1955 they were both divorced or separated (Ella divorced in 1953 and Frank and Ava separated in 1954 and finalized their divorce in 1957). So if we start with 1955, then they could've been together until the late 70s which is before she allegedly told this guy about her and Sinatra's past tense affair. Really, I think it was from 1955 to whenever Frank married Barbara. And to anyone who thinks Ella or Frank believed in fidelity, well, read any book about them. Even my girl Ella was with a few married men over the years, so that isn't something that would've stopped them from being together.

Furthermore, Ella had a thing for secrets. Her early life was a secret. She had other, secret affairs, specifically one with a pediatrician that lasted a long time. And then her secret marriage to Ray Brown and that Norwegian guy Thor Larsen, which no one can really say was real or not but everyone can say it was a secret. Plus, both Frank and Ella were extremely private to the end of their respective lives. So, I mean, they weren't contending with TMZ back then.

5. "Italian Restaurant Patsy's" - A real place that Frank visited frequently. I will edit this if I find evidence of Ella ever going there. Also, Ella is known for loving Italian food which was mentioned in the book Up Close: Ella Fitzgerald and in the interview she did with Brian Linehan in 1974. In the interview she says, when speaking about her cookbook collection, "I got a book from Venice, and I get that book and read about that pasta. And oh boy, it sounds so good. It reads so good." She continues, "I go to [my road manager's] house. His wife makes the best lasagna. Oh boy, can she make that."

(UPDATE) The owner of Patsy's has commented on how Frank would visit the restaurant and who he would bring with him. When asked if Frank would come alone, the owner said, "No, he was always with a big group. He'd have his friends. He brought the whole Rat Pack here [...] And he would bring a lot of his friends, either acting friends or music friends." Ella, in this, would certainly be considered a "music friend." Also, in the same video, the owner talks about how Frank used a private entrance to the restaurant to avoid fans and press. He also ate in a private room. I could totally see him and Ella using that private entrance and having a meal with no one knowing they were there, perhaps on a date, except for the owners. Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP6qHzIztUM&ab_channel=WalkInFaithCraigSyracusa

6. "Catch a cab down to the Met and catch an opera" - This is very plausible as the Met is only a 7 minute drive from Patsy's. And of course, we know Frank and Ella love music.

(UPDATE) According to Phoebe Jacobs, Ella preferred to take cabs whenever she was in NYC, actually going so far as to fuss about not using cabs when other transportation was sent. I haven't found any evidence that Frank would use cabs, but I would guess that Ella would override him if they were out together, just based on how serious she was about taking cabs.

For the record, I will be revisiting this post to add additional evidence as I come across it.

[dentwy]

number 3: house of leaves

i have this one discord bot i keep dming stuff to so it's easier to get files through mobile to pc, and as a general list of things i don’t feel like saving anywhere else or wanna be reminded of. obviously as i keep adding stuff i forget about older things just like you do with your watch later on youtube. tuesday, december 21 of the year 2021 at 1:50am i sent this message:

i know for a fact it's just because that's when i watched the game grumps play santa clause 3 but the point is that i've put it aside for quite some time now. as the years went on i'm pretty sure i've heard people mention the book here and there, but the thing that definitely made decide i want to read it is none other than the power pak myhouse.wad video, as i'm sure most people this year have experienced as well. sometimes it can feel intrusive for people in such a tight fandom to get bombarded with newcomers experiencing what you like in a completely different way because your niche thing now is more popular than ever, but i personally try to keep respectful about people's passions and i'm fairly realistic about it. yeah, i know you know about the doom mod, and it's cool, but let's focus on what's important. house of leaves.

"This is not for you." he said, well you can't tell me what to do johnny truant! gatekeeping is funny, i can't argue against it, and it's specially funny when the book you just opened is doing it to you. however, it usually seems with this book as if people treat it like some kind of evil secret thing you can only read and understand if you're fucked up and want to suffer. literature is a medium to share ideas and stories, stop making it out to be some kind of secret club. and to you reddit, please stop asking if you can skip the footnotes or a guide on how to read it, it's a book. just read the damn thing.

if by any chance you're reading this and haven't experienced house of leaves yet, i encourage you to do so. not sure if the pinnacle of ergodic literature, but it's absolutely an experience like none other. i mean, look up the book on google images and it'll catch your eye in an instant. it's a book within a book, within a movie, within a story, within a house. the maze never ends, and the house is ever expanding. it may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it's yours.

there’re two core sides to this story, johnny truant's delusions and ongoing madness over this book he's just found, and the story this book is describing. i honestly fail to understand how people get bored of what mark danielewski has managed to concoct here, as the introduction itself was instantly gripping to me. alike johnny himself, i could not put away house of leaves until i finished it in the span of around 2 weeks. the constant back and forth between the narrators in the story could seem daunting at first, but each one adds so much more to the experience, recontextualizing characters, or scenes, or the entire book in nothing more than a couple of lines (or multiple pages for a single footnote). it's like reading through the ramblings of a crazy man, except you are actually reading through the ramblings of multiple crazy men. ticking away slowly, unveiling whatever could be at the end of the corridor.

as unreliable narrators go, never being sure on what you're reading is real or not is what constantly pushes the mystery into the words. it's what we choose to believe in that can change it all. i distinctly remember the navidson record detailing a comparison between the director of a movie called "la belle niçoise et le beau chien" and the character we've been following, will navidson. this seemingly real film, is in fact, not real. nothing more than a fabrication. layers upon layers of commentary, description, analysis and characterization forever shifting with the things we say, write and read, may all be not much more than a lie. the power of words is not to be underestimated. it is in fact the words and how they're used what make this book what it is. be it the decision to give the word house a tint of blue, purposely leaving things vague when it's most important, or driving off into completely unrelated tangents about debatably irrelevant topics. you may gather all the clues you want, yet the authenticity of the events are for you to decide. the line between reality and fiction warps the more you go and it may as well keep expanding the further you walk down those stairs.

1/4" can make the whole difference. the house represents many things. fear, uncertainty, secrecy, anxiety, suffering, peace, obsession, trauma. what goes in, may not ever leave, and what's outside, may not ever know. there's an overarching feeling of passion behind the actions the characters take. it's human nature to be curious, to solve the mysteries presented to us and to want to fix things with our own two hands. but what might look small, could very well be a lot bigger on the inside. more than you could've ever expected. "Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer."

there is a paragraph that i will not ever forget about, that i believe perfectly exemplifies the feeling of uncertainty of the unknown, not being in control and carrying the dread behind you:

"To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don’t let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can’t see it, something is quietly closing in on you, so quiet in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That’s where it is. Right at this moment. But don’t look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead take an even deeper one. Only this time as you start to exhale try to imagine how fast it will happen, how hard it’s gonna hit you, how many times it will stab your jugular with its teeth or are they nails?, don’t worry, that particular detail doesn’t matter, because before you have time to even process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be flinging up your arms—you sure as hell should be getting rid of this book—you won’t have time to even scream. Don’t look. I didn’t. Of course I looked. I looked so fucking fast I should of ended up wearing one of those neck braces for whiplash."

it has been argued house of leaves is a love story. i see it, and people have agreed as well, more as a story about love. family love, unrequited love, friendly love, love for small and big things, love for those and that you care about the most. the love that drives us forward to do what we do. granted it's mostly just semantics than a difference in genre, but it gives it a different meaning to me. the way words change how we perceive what surround us.

the open-ended nature of the book can leave things to be desired, but that may as well just be life. we're not sure about what's beyond, or what the meaning of it all is, yet we keep moving on. we strive for more, we want to make things right, but the corridor keeps expanding, and the further you go, the darker it gets.

[jaynaneeya]

After the Wedding

I realize that part of the charm of Brom and Matilda's relationship is that it's not very well defined, and that's great, but since Headless Spirit Week coincides with Ace Week, I had to write a little self-indulgent fic of the conversation I choose to believe they had between the last time we saw them in episode 6 and the beginning of episode 7. And if somehow you're seeing this and still haven't watched Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story for free on YouTube, please do yourself a favor and get on that. This fic contains spoilers for the first six episodes, nine are out currently, and the finale will be posted on Halloween.

***

With Kat’s mom’s manuscript in hand, Brom and Matilda kept running until they were several blocks away from the Van Tassel estate. When they finally allowed themselves to stop, Brom laughed and let out a whoop.

“We did it! We found some emperor evidence! Ha!”

“Yeah… and we got married,” Matilda reminded him as they slowly headed toward her house.

Brom’s grin faltered. “Oh. Yeah. We did.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t hold you to it,” Matilda assured him. “I just know Judy likes sappy stuff like forbidden love and I figured she’d fall for that. I had no idea she was ordained. Makes me wonder what other secrets people in this town are hiding…”

“You know, I actually don’t hate the idea of being married to you.”

Matilda gaped at him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah! I mean, you’re not afraid to call me out when I’m being a jerk, so I feel like you’re helping me become the best version of myself. I think a partnership between us would work really well. What do you think?”

Matilda had only ever really thought of Brom as a nuisance. His presence was just so overwhelming. But he really was doing his best to overthrow the toxic masculinity that had been his entire personality as a teenager, and she respected that. She discovered that she wouldn’t mind hanging out with him more. But marriage?! She’d never considered that kind of a relationship with anyone, least of all Brom Bones. Her favorite part of their wedding was when he didn’t kiss her. She assumed it was because he was repulsed by her specifically, not by romance in general as she was. Surely Brom would never be satisfied with the kind of relationship she wanted.

He was still waiting for her answer. She decided to rip the band-aid off. “You know I’m aromantic and asexual, right?”

Brom blinked. “Um, not exactly, but good for you! I’m happy you found labels you relate to, and I’m honored that you trust me enough to come out to me.”

“So…you don’t have a problem with that?”

“Of course not! Why would I?”

Was he really this dense? Or was he just trying to be woke? “I mean, you’re right, some aroaces are happily married, but married people usually… do things… that I personally wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable with.”

If she’d been looking at his face instead of the ground she would have seen the lightbulb in his brain turn on. “Oh, ew, no, I wasn’t thinking our marriage would be like that.”

Matilda knew she should be offended by his disgust, but she was too relieved. “So what did you envision when you said you wanted to stay married?”

“I don’t know, I figured we’d like… live in the same place and go grocery shopping for each other and hang out a lot and maybe like, hold hands or something once in a while, but no kissing or anything like that. I’m not really into that stuff either, I might be the same as you, I don’t really feel that kind of attraction either.”

She glared at him. That was too much. “Oh come on, Brom, you don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

He actually looked hurt. “Ouch, Matty. That was me being super vulnerable with you. Why would you think I was lying?”

“Uh…Kat?”

He winced. After a long pause, he said, “Okay, you have to promise never to repeat what I’m about to tell you. Especially to Kat.”

“What?”

“Promise!”

“Okay, sure, I promise. What is it?”

“I… only pretended to like Kat because I thought I was supposed to.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, you know, Tassels and Brunts go way back, and in high school everyone else was getting crushes and dating and stuff, so it just made sense. And then she dumped me – which I absolutely deserved, for the record – but I never liked anyone else so I just… kept obsessing over her. To the point that I brought a YouTuber back to life to sabotage the guy I thought was taking her from me. Almost ten years after we broke up.” He chuckled humorlessly. “Pathetic, right?”

Matilda gasped. “Oh my god, you are aroace!”

“I mean… I don’t love labels, but…”

“Right, sorry, not trying to tell you how to identify…”

“No, it’s all good…”

They were talking over each other, not even sure what they were saying anymore, but neither had ever felt more understood.

They had arrived at Matilda’s house. “So. Want to live here, husband?” she asked.

“Yeah, we better, me and the Babes pretty much fill up my old place.”

“Are they going to be okay without you?”

“Oh yeah, they’ll be happy to be able to spread out more. And, I mean, they’re only like two blocks away if we need each other. Still I should probably let them know.” He pulled out his phone. There were five new messages from Ichabod. “Oh daaaang. Kat threw Ichabod out of her house for accusing her dad of murder.”

“Ooh, the plot thickens,” commented Matilda.

“Indeed it does, wifey.”

Normally Matilda wasn’t a huge fan of Brom’s nicknames, but “wifey” she didn’t mind, somehow. “So should we go help Ichabod?”

“Yeah, he says he’s heading for not a drugstore.”

“Perfect, you show him the manuscript and I’ll try a new head.”

“Good plan, wifey. Wow, we’re such a great team!”

Matilda didn’t know whether to cringe or to smile, so she compromised by holding up her hand, which he immediately and enthusiastically high-fived, and together the newlyweds set off to find and help brokenhearted Ichabod Crane.

[springtimemultishipper]

Ideas for a Danganronpa V3 Double Protagonist Game AU!

(So, I'm kind of salty about Kaede's death. I know it had kind of an important role in the story, but it still sucked to have our first female protagonist (aside from Komaru and Toko, but considering their game isn't like Trigger Happy Havoc or Goodbye Despair, I'm not counting them) be killed in the first chapter. Now, don't get me wrong. I adore Shuichi with all my heart and he's probably my second favorite protagonist. But, I feel Kaede was cheated out of being the protagonist. So, I was inspired by a Youtube comment to write some ideas double protagonist AU! I hope you enjoy)

So, to start off, in Chapter 1, Kaede will still be the only protagonist and the game goes by the same it does in canon for the most part

However, Rantaro will not be Chapter 1's first victim. I feel he died too quick, and while I would want him to die eventually, I feel he should've lived longer

Shuichi would also not find the secret door in the library until much later in the game. This is mainly to allow another opportunity for a kill to happen by someone other than Kaede.

He would still suspect there being a mastermind (probably because of some other evidence he found) and tell Kaede, which would lead to her trying to kill someone.

Obviously, in order for her to continue being the protagonist, her plan will fail without her knowing until the trial.

There's a new Chapter 1 victim and killer, but I haven't thought about who it would be

Anyways, the trial goes the same with Kaede believing she's the culprit and trying to convince Shuichi that she is and to vote for her

Shuichi is forced to believe she's the culprit as well due to all the evidence pointing towards her and nothing contradicting her claims

They're about to vote for Kaede, but Rantaro stops them and provides evidence that only he knew about that proves Kaede's innocence

For the rest of the trial, you play as Shuichi as he tries to use the evidence that Rantaro provided to find the truth and prove Kaede's innocence

In the end, the real culprit is executed and both Kaede and Shuichi are feeling incredibly guilty over what happened

Kaede feels guilty because she was basically the reason why the trial happened. She nearly killed someone innocent because of her stubborn determination to find the mastermind

Meanwhile, Shuichi feels guilty because he almost caused everyone aside from the culprit to die and was basically the reason that Kaede tried to kill the mastermind. And even then, he also was the one that exposed the culprit in the end, leading to their execution

After the first class trial, the player will unlock the ability to switch between protagonists

Now for some gameplay mechanics and how things work if you're playing this game!

OUTSIDE CLASS TRIALS

Throughout the game, you're able to change who you're playing as whether it be Kaede or Shuichi

The cutscenes are pretty much the same no matter what protagonist you're playing as

When you're doing free-time events, you only have to do the event as one protagonist to update the report card and get skills; for example, if you do Kirumi's first free-time event as Kaede then you're able to fill Kirumi's report card and get her skill if you continue playing as Kaede without Shuichi needing to talk to Kirumi

However, there are different free-time events for each protagonist and if one protagonist has already done the second free-time event, the other protagonist will still be on the first free-time event if they haven't done any with the person; for example, if Shuichi is on Kaito's second free-time event and Kaede hasn't talked to Kaito, she would still be on his first free-time event

Shuichi and Kaede also have their own free-time events for the other to experience

There are also some different conversations and cutscenes depending on who you're playing as

During certain game cutscenes and plot points, the game will force you to be a certain protagonist in order for the story to continue; an example is the game sending Kaede to bed and you continuing on as Shuichi whenever he's about to train with Kaito and Maki to move the story

Kaede and Shuichi won't be together 24/7 and will have their own friend groups or go around doing their own thing

When they are on their own, there will be moments where the game won't allow you to check out stuff as a certain protagonist and force you to wait to switch to the other; an example being the player not being able to gain access to an Ultimate's research lab as Shuichi and needing to switch to Kaede to do so

Love Suite events will be the same for both, but Shuichi now has an event, too

CLASS TRIALS

Kaede and Shuichi will have different influence bars for class trials; if Shuichi loses a heart, Kaede will still have all her hearts if you switch to her

If even one protagonist loses their hearts, the game will end and the protagonist you're currently playing as gets executed. The player will have to switch in between protagonists to prevent them from losing all their hearts

They have different truth bullets of two or three; the player will have to switch in between them to get the right bullet

The player is able to see the bullets that the protagonist you're not playing as have with them on the other side of screen as they do the Non-stop Debate

Now, there will be certain mini games that only one protagonist could play, which is why you need both of them in the trial

Both Kaede and Shuichi can do Lying/Perjury, Debate Scrum, and Hangman's Gambit

It should be noted that during Debate Scrum, Kaede and Shuichi will not always be on the same side. The player will be forced to switch to the protagonist that's on the right side of the debate if they are on different sides

Shuichi's the only one who can do Psyche Taxi and Mind Mine due to his experienced detective skills and intelligence

Kaede's the only one who can do Argument Armament and Mass Panic Debate due to her excellent hearing and sense of beat

As for the Closing Argument, they both do it together. As they're explaining everything that happens, they bounce off each other's sentences

One will talk and then the other will continue their train of thought

Once they are done with the explanation, both Kaede and Shuichi will be seen exposing the murderer for their crime

It'll go something like this each time (I'll be using Tsumugi as an example):

Shuichi: I'm sorry, but all the evidence reveals that you're the one who committed this crime...

Kaede: Do you have anything you want to say, Tsumugi Shirogane, the Ultimate Cosplayer?!

(And with that, the trial ends and so do my headcanons for this AU so far! I hope you liked them!)

[blserieshub]

Bad Buddy Review

Thailand

12 Episodes

Available on Youtube

Starring: Nanon Korapat, Ohm Pawat

Pat (Ohm Pawat) and Pran (Nanon Korapat) have only ever known how to hate each other, their family rivalry beginning before they were even born. They had always competed against each other in every way possible, up until high school when Pat got transferred. Fast forward a few years of peace away from each other, Pat returns home for university, and the pair ends up in opposing faculties. They have to keep their past a secret from their friend groups and have to work together to stop everything from falling apart. But what happens when two people who can’t be friends, can’t be just friends?

Review:

(All reviews, no matter how objective I may try to be, will always be biased with my personal preference, please keep this in mind while reading)

Characters: All the characters are very lovable, everyone of them with their own unique charms and charisma its hard not to fall in love with them. The chemistry between our two leads is so natural and unique to them that it's hard to compare. They feel so natural with each other, their bickering and banter flowing extremely well and making you love them so much more. Truly a BL couple to be remembered.

Acting: The acting performances are amazing on all fronts. The comedy lands, the drama grips you, all the characters are fully fleshed and believable and you truly feel all the complicated emotion of every character. 

Writing: A very well written series, the pacing is amazing with nothing feeling rushed or dragging out too long. Every plot point is properly set up and believable and the plot doesn't rely on shock factor to keep you engaged; the characters, while obviously they learn and grow throughout the series, stay consistent with who they are in essence and their motivations are consistent and believable. 

Plot: The plot is very fun, not the amount of tension and hatred you would typically expect from an enemies to lovers but the family rivalry brings a lot of tension into the story and stays consistent. There is a time skip which doesn't have a negative effect on the series but does kind of come out of nowhere, nothing too serious though. A lot of the plot is executed in a very comedic manner, creating a very unique tone for the series that is extremely lovable, however they never use comedy to take away from the emotional moments. The subplots tie in nicely with the main plot and never feels like a waste of time.

Final Thoughts:

This series is a definite must-watch, it's funny and filled with banter and bickering yet still has emotional depth and intense moments. The characters and relationships are so lovable and I definitely have this on my rewatch list.

[pan-de-queer]

always wanted to do a fic to this song and i just found out that last year i started it??? i don’t even remember writing anything??? and it’s kind of good if a little messy?? anyways here’s the unfinished supercorp fic that i might never finish that’s messily connected somehow and also inspired by this song  💕

edit: youtube link for those who can’t access the song link!

In the months after Leviathan, in the weeks after Lex, Kara did everything she could to avoid crossing paths with Lena.

She wasn’t running, she tells herself. She just needs space.

They both do.

And for the most part, Lena respects that. But every other Thursday, always a little after 11AM, Lena sends her a text.

It’s never anything big or important (another lie Kara chants in her head, knowing she will always find everything Lena tells her important). But it’s constant in a way they haven’t been in a long, long time.

They’re never long or even personal, but Kara secretly looks forward to reading them during her lunch breaks. Reads over the they said it’ll rain later today and the things have been quiet lately and the one time she texted more than one line.

I’m sorry. I’ll get better.

And the worst part—the part that Kara wishes she could bury into nothing—Kara still believes in her.

She believes in the goodness and kindness that she’d seen the second she met her.

But she also believes in the anger they’ve kept. The anger she’s kept.

Lena hurt her. Physically and emotionally.

Lena used her with the intent to hurt. And Rao. It hurt.

/

The words are on the tip of her tongue when she remember that they’re not in the business of sharing their most sacred thoughts with each other anymore (and Lena has to use all of her willpower to beat back the voice in her head that whispers that Kara had never really shared her sacred secrets with her).

In spite of all the pain she’s caused her—all the pain she’d thrown right back—Kara was still her everything.

Even now, even when she couldn’t even call them anything at all.

In therapy, she had to explain why the revelation had hurt so much. Why her world didn’t just implode at Lex’s revelation.

Kara was the sun that Lena’s world revolved around. She was the only thing that brightened her day, her life, her universe. She was the one addiction she never wanted to stop. She was all the good Lena never had growing up. She was supposed to be her One Good Thing.

And then she wasn’t.

And Lena stopped believing she deserved good things.

[delpurgatorio]

Writing Masterpost

I’m trying to keep everything tidy. Trying.

Fandom: Naruto

oOo

Sasuke / Hinata

All That Glitters is Taboo

Completed.

Summary: Popstar AU. Somehow, Hinata has ended up as the primary makeup artist for a certain Uchiha Sasuke, who is one of the biggest male pop stars in the country. She struggles with becoming a professional while trying to keep her personal life far, far removed. Unfortunately for her, it does not quite work out that way. Sasuhina. Drabble series.

Available on Tumblr  here. Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on Archive of Our Own here.

*note: For the Tumblr, apparently all the links in the posts are messed up so it’s easier to read under the tag “all that glitters is taboo”

Virtues of a Traitor

Completed.

Summary: Samurai AU. Naruto sends Sasuke to retrieve one of Konoha's lost children. Hinata has been gone for a long, long time. The parallels between Sasuke and Hinata are apparent as they attempt to make a home in a village that never wanted them in the first place. Sasuhina. T for violence and language.

Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on Archive of Our Own here.

Safe Moorings

In progress. Summary: Written for Pinaka/Gurukant who wanted another Samurai!Hinata story. The Hyuga return to Konoha after generations of living in the Land of Iron. Sasuke, known to the majority of the village as the slacker son of the Uchiha clan head, is inexplicably partnered with Hinata. Their goal? Assassinate Orochimaru. Hinata is out for revenge. Sasuke wants to stop hiding his capabilities.

Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on Archive of Our Own here. 

Fic specific playlist: Youtube

Everybody’s in the Glow

Completed.

Summary: No Uchiha Massacre AU: Sasuke is a med-nin with the persistent and crippling insecurity that he'll never be good enough for his father. Hinata is a special jonin with persistent and crippling insecurity in general. But mostly, Sasuke wants to make sure his patient is okay. Why does she keep running away? T for language and a bit of violence.

Check out the tag “all that you want” for excerpts.

Available on Fanfiction.net here.

Fic specific playlist: Youtube

General SasuHina Playlist: Youtube ; Spotify

oOo

Itachi / Hinata

SLEEPLESS CLUB

Oneshot Collection

Summary: Itachi and Hinata are finally given a chance. Oneshot and drabble collection exploring their relationship. Mostly gen.

Available on Fanfiction.net here.

Small Doses

In progress

Summary: Non Uchiha Massacre AU. In a world without Danzo, Uchiha Itachi is Hokage instead of Kakashi. The Hyuga strong arm Itachi into accepting Hinata as his personal assistant. But Hinata is not happy. Itachi makes it his mission to find out why. He should have left it alone. Heavy angst with eventual happy ending. T for language and canon-level violence. *Drabble length chapters*

Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on AO3 here.

General ItaHina Playlist: Youtube ; Spotify

oOo

Madara / Hinata

(Yes, really.)

Soft Power: Freetime & Freetime, Magnified

Completed & In Progress.

A smutty birthday fic of Madara x Hinata (Freetime) turned into a smutty long-fic (Freetime, Magnified).

Hinata, angry and broken after the war and Neji's death, gets sent back in time to the founding of Konoha. She's determined to get rid of the Cursed Bird Seal before its rot reaches Neji in the future. Unfortunately for her, she catches the eye of an Uchiha who is also very determined to learn her secrets. Set before Izuna's death. Explicit and Mature for smut.

Freetime: Available only on AO3 here.

Freetime, Magnified: Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on AO3 here. 

oOo

Shisui / Hinata

Mind Over Matter

In Progress.

Shisui has been given a mission. Find Hinata alive... or return her body to her family. Shisui refuses to believe she's dead. Not when the memories of her live brightly in his mind and her letters sit in the pocket next to his heart. Still Naruto-verse but doesn't care to follow canon. *Short chapter lengths!

Available on Fanfiction.net here. Available on AO3 here. 

oOo

Shisui / Reader

Sweet Memories

Completed.

An adult Shisui x Reader fic. The reader is gender neutral. A gift/dare fic that I delivered on :3

"At the shop, you have a hot table that melts cooled candy back down so you can shape it. You feel like you are on that table. You are melting and Shisui is shaping you. His touch is reverent, and you are learning your dimensions through him. You feel like you never knew what your body looked like until he mapped it out for you."

Available on AO3 here.

oOo

Original Works:

Dispatch Werewolves

First draft: 10% done

Summary: 911 operator David is an expert at his job, and a novice at his family magic. With these skills, he knows that the number that keeps calling into the 911 lines is not an accidental call or a glitch in the system. Someone is trying to get his attention. (Also. Werewolves.)

Genres: Mystery, urban fantasy, suspense

Children of the Sun

First draft: 57% done

Summary: Nemesio is a guardian of magical creatures, whether they be shapeshifters or human magic practitioners. He takes pride in his work and is therefore upset to learn that an unregistered magic user has been living under his nose for many years. Worse yet, her spirit feels a lot like his father's, who went missing decades before.

Nayeli has a couple of jobs where she needs to have a lot of specialized knowledge; as a tour guide and a folk dance instructor. However, she does not know why Nemesio makes her so nervous. Or why he thinks she can help him find answers about his father's disappearance. Maybe if he can help her understand why she feels hunted no matter where she goes, she can get enough breathing room to find him his answers.

Playlist Link: Spotify

Genre: romance, urban fantasy

oOo

Most common tags: el writes, fanfic updates, updates

[whatareweevendoiing]

"6 Simple Techniques To Change Your Lottery Luck"

Who else wants to win the lottery? Could the Law of Attraction hold the answer?... step by step guide to visualising the riches you desire easily.

Do you dream of winning the lottery? Well, if you don't – then already the odds are stacked against you. In a recent lottery survey of jackpot winners – 38% of lotto winners claimed that they always believed that they would win a heap of cash, and 50% of the winners interviewed stated that they had dreamt that they would win loads of money. Over half of the lottery winners described themselves as ‘lucky' people.

So, could positive thinking and the law of attraction hold the key?...

Recently, there is more and more talk about the law of attraction. Basically, it says that like attract like, and that what we 'think' about most, we attract into our lives. Now, before I loose you, let me just say that this is a Universal Law, and just like gravity – although we can not see it, we know it exists.

Basically, it means that whatever thoughts we focus on the most, we will attract into our lives. If you are always dreaming of winning the lottery, then you are attracting this to you. On the flip side, telling people how 'unlucky' you are will just create more 'bad luck' in your life. Wait a minute, I can hear you squealing 'If that's the case, how come I'm not a lottery millionaire? I'm always telling people that I will win it one day, and dreaming of getting the big one'…

The law is very simple, however – most of us will have very unfocused thoughts running around our head. So you may one minute be saying "I want to win the lottery"… and the law of attraction will be set into motion. Then your mind will try and rationalise with you and say "Stop being silly, you'll never win…" In that very moment, you are cancelling out your wish to win the National Lottery and stopping the flow of energy.

What we now know is that emotions will increase your thought vibrations – so as soon as you start feeling that you can't win, this will push your dream even further out of your grasp.

By simply understanding how the Law of Attraction works, and choosing to change your thoughts so that they are positive, you will be able to manifest more of your desires. If you have a deep rooted belief that you are ‘unlucky' or ‘always broke' then you may find you have to work harder at this whole manifestation lark…you may want do a bit more research into the law. One great starting place is to watch ‘The Secret' – this movie has transformed many thousands of people's lives Worldwide and you can watch the first 20 minutes for free on YouTube.

Following are some top tips on how to improve your chances for winning the lottery:

1.Decide how much you want to win on the lottery

Write this figure down on several bits of paper and put around the house or office where you will see it often. For example, on the fridge, on the ceiling above your bed, next to the computer. It needs to be a figure you ‘believe'… if you want a million pounds but your mind screams ‘dream on', then choose a figure that is more acceptable to you.

2.Say Affirmations

Every morning and evening, look at this figure and say ‘I have won X pounds on the lottery and all of my dreams are coming true'…replacing X with the amount you desire. You can make up your own lottery affirmations; make sure that you say the sentence as if it has already happend, that it is in the present tense. Jump up and down; scream ‘Thank You!' – picture in your mind what you would do, get excited and feel grateful…

3.Visualise

Before getting out of bed and just before dropping off to sleep, imagine what you would do with the money, how you would feel…visualise how that amount of money would look like.

4.Feel thankful that you will win the lottery…

Believe that the winning ticket is coming to you! Feel grateful…

5.Buy a ticket!

This is the most important step. To give yours dreams a chance, you MUST take action. It is amazing how many people say they plan on winning the lottery but never get off their sweet behind to buy a ticket.

[gangles-toybox]

more self lore

like most people, i have written rpf(real person fiction) before. I, myself, personally do not like it anymore but that's not the point of this post. I almost forgotten but I wrote I believe only like one fic of rpf surprisingly, alllll the way back in October of 2018 when I was just 11 years old(god damn). Anyways but it's...kinda weirdly in character(at least from their online personas)?? from what i remember anyways. so here it is, it's called cutie~, a Leafyishere x Pryocynical fic with the accompanying image(btw copying this from my Wattpad so ye)

Hope you like the artwork above you and hope you enjoy this story.

Pyrocynical's pov

                            I moved to Utah to see Calvin. I had seen pictures of him in his videos and even talked to him. On youtube it would be staged as a fight(because we both needed views especially Calvin considering he hasn't posted anything in 9 months) but in real life the only reason I wanted to go is to tell Calvin this secret I've been having for the longest time. That I loved Calvin. ~Time skip to where Pyro is in Utah~ My plane just landed and I got off the plane. I get out my phone and type 'where does Leafy live?' It pops up and I walk to his house. I take a deep breath and become ready to tell him.

Calvin's pov

             I sit around in my dinosaur costume, with my Obey hat, the all seeing eye on my tail, and weed in my nose(yes they are there personas). I hear a knock at my door. It must be Pyro so we can stage a fight,I thought. I open the door. There was nobody there but a letter. Huh weird, I thought. It was a letter from Pyro? Interesting that there is no address on this letter and it's not in an envelope . So that means he flew all the way to Utah just to hand me a letter? Why not ship it?Especially since I can't see his face so we can't talk about the letter and stuff.I pick up the note and take it back inside my house. I'm still wondering why he didn't just ship it. Maybe he wanted to stage a fight and then he had a family issue so he just sent a letter to explain that? Unlikely. Whatever is in this letter better be not shipped to Keemstar so he can make it drama where it really isn't. Hopefully this letter is not about ships(haha get it because this is inside a ship book this is so unfunny it's not even funny). Anyways I look around making sure nobody is around. I'm still kinda worried that someone will flim this and use it againest me. I turn the note around and it has a heart sealing it? I blush a light pink. Wait... does that mean...? N-no it just must be the only sticker he had left to seal it with! Yeah! Yeah... totally... My mind was running on what was in this letter and what it meant that was inside this letter. I feel around the letter and there is a heart-shaped candy that says'be mine.' I blush a darker pink. I must be the only candy he had...right...? I finally open the letter my claws. This is what the letter said,'Hello this is Pyro. You know that lesbian on the internet. Well fun fact I'm actually a male. Yay. Anyways that's not the only thing I decided to write this note for.' I stopped reading for a moment and mumbled, in a  sarcastic voice,"Yeah why else would you fly to Utah and drop a letter with candy and a heart?" I kept reading and it said'The real reason I wrote this letter is to tell you that I love you. I have and I always will. That felt good. Anyways but yeah I did fly all the way to Utah because that's how much I love you. Even if it was a stupid note and you'll probably reject me anyways. 

Your gay friend,

Pyro'

I blush a bright red after reading all that. I knew I felt the same way but I have no idea where he is now. I go outside and turn the corner to see Pyro crying? I sit next to him and asked"Why are you crying?" He said" B-because I know it was st-stupid to ever believe that you'll l-love me..." I hugged him around the waist and said"Pyro that's not true I do love you." We both blushed hard pink. Pyro grabbed my chin from his waist and brought it up to his face and asked"Really?" I said"Yes~" and kissed him. We both were blushing hard red. I pulled away and Pyro asked"What are we going to do about the clickbait?" I said"We don't need that anymore. We can start a youtube channel. Together. You can choose the name." Pyro thought for a moment and said"2 gay little lesbians." I chuckled and said"As long as you don't stop loving me,sure" Pyro said"I promise." We went inside my house and cuddled until we went to sleep.

I love this ship a lot hope you do too.

Peace out homesicles!

This was on deviantart,seen here: https://www.deviantart.com/lilcuppy2/art/Pyrocynical-x-Leafyishere-fanfiction-767916777

~Cupcakecatcream 

😸

Word count: 787

[thepolycarbonateshape]

The day after a fever dream

Or as my dream put it: I believe in Futurism and the deconstruction of Futurama's movies...........no, I don't know what the hell that means either.

As the title so eloquently put it, I had what I would classify as a "fever dream" last night and even into this morning. I don't get them often, but when I do, its always fun to try and rip yourself from the dream and figure out what is real and what was just a figment of imagination. As the its been said "Snap back to reality, oops, there goes gravity" and it definitely felt that way. As part of these dreams there was a part where I dreamt about posting on this website with the title mentioned above. It had something to do with how the Futurama movies were just extended episodes....which....like yeah? Don't ask why this was how my brain worked, but it was and now I am here.

I continue to strive for self-improvement as my year's theme, but I realize that I may be using this platform as a echo chamber for my own thoughts more than an actual journal of things I've done. And honestly? I think that's fine. This was always supposed to be one of my "self-improvment" pieces, and simply creating this echo chamber and so far maintaining it as long as I have, has been a way to keep that theme going.

My current problems I am dealing with is a PS1 I purchased with a mod chip installed. The console seems to be working just fine, and I know the mod chip works....I'm just having a hell of a time getting it to like the disc's I'm making. I have some better quality ones coming in the mail soon, but for now I am using some that I got for $2 at the local thift store......maybe that's why they were only $2......

So far I know of exactly one person who has read any of my ramblings, and that was the friend who I wrote the piece a few weeks ago on. He found it, and to his word, kept it a secret, I just couldn't and had a fun time probing him to find out he had read it. I didn't really ask anymore, as I think his feelings about what I wrote should stay with him if he wants them too. But I know they meant a lot to him, as he put it "A real tears in the rain" moment.

I'm jealous of those who have the capacity to put themselves out there. I've tried it a few times and everytime I've either become bored, to busy to continue or just straight up scared of putting it out there.... I once tried writing something, I even wrote out a whole "chapter" and sent it to my friends. One of them encouraged me to continue, while the other was more what I needed and was critical. I don't want to say that I stopped writing because of that friend, but to say I felt scared again is an understatement. Maybe I should put it out here....assuming I didn't wipe it off the face of the planet....which is quite possible knowing my record of removing things I am embarrassed by.

Did you know I have a YouTube channel? Probably not, I've never liked combining all my socials to connect to each other much. to be fair, I have 2, but only one has every had actual content on it. Maybe I should get back to that....

[trashlord-007]

So. Tana? Is that correct? Well as your secret Santa thought I'd stop in and say hello! So many questions and such a limited character count. I guess I should start with the basics....who's your bias? Is it Jongdae? Your avatar is him but I don't want to just assume. How long have your been an exol? Do you have other interests? I saw your pinned post about gaming....what games are you into? Why is your favorite color your favorite color? What is your favorite color? Do you have a favourite song? If it's not an exo song which of our boys' songs is your most cherished? Go to song for a mood pick up? What sort of things do you create? Have you ever killed a man? Favorite movie or book? Why? Best moment in fandom life? What YouTube video have you watched the most?

I'll stop there and save some for later.

🎁🎄🎁

Hiii, my super awesome Secret Santa!

Tana is indeed correct~ welcome to my small corner of Tumblr!

Jongdae is my bias <333 I love him so much T_T who is your bias? or biases? I know some people have multiple, especially in bigger bands. To be honest, my ult top 10 has several EXO members! But Jongdae will always be my EXO bias, and my ult bias across all of kpop!

I've been an EXOL since... Tempo! While I enjoyed their title tracks before then, bought their songs and listened to their MVs etc, I didn't truly appreciate them until I listened to the Don't Mess Up My Tempo album. Everything clicked then, and I realised I had been so wrong about them before T_T and after listening to all their previous music it became evident that they'd always be my number one~

I do have some other interests. Like you saw, I enjoy gaming. The Mass Effect and Far Cry franchises are my everything <3 no matter what else is happening, I can always return to them and find some semblance of peace... it's hard to explain. But you can fish in FC5! Sometimes I just pop the game on to do that. Or turn on ME:A to travel between planets - it has this awesome feature where it's kinda like you're piloting the ship to each one. I've been thinking of Feros and Noveria again, which are missions in the first Mass Effect. They are my favourites! and I also need to finish my AC Syndicate playthrough so I can move forward to the next--

Sorry,,, heh, I tend to ramble T_T it's a bad habit of mine. Do you game?

My favourite colour is blue but I'm not sure why! It's just... pretty. Any colours that remind me of nighttime ambiance, stars and space, etc are my favourites too. The universe is so perfect.

Favourite song... that's too hard T_T well, I'll keep it easy by saying Monster by EXO! Which is your favourite? EXO or otherwise? and which solo is your favourite? Have you listened to Xiuminnie's new song? I LOVE IT !

I have a playlist called Cheer Up, Buttercup! and the first song in it is Good Day for a Good Day by Super Junior haha. There's a lot of GGs in it too, like Twice and Saturday.

I mainly create problems.

Err, I mean, I mainly write but I'm dipping my toes in GIF-making too!

I plead the fifth.

Interstellar is my favourite movie!! (... is it becoming obvious yet how obsessed I am with space?) and my favourite book is... wow, I can't believe I'm gonna be cliché like this but... probably Wuthering Heights? Or maybe The Gunslinger by Stephen King. What about you? I'd love to talk books or movies, especially if they are horror or sci-fi haha.

Oh... why... I'm never really sure why I like the things I do but I will say that I've seen Interstellar countless times (I even watched parts of it every time I went to the dentist lol). Before that was Avatar... and the second film is finally coming out!! T_T I'm so excited! As for the books... haha, I guess what makes a piece of media/fiction wonderful is the emotions it invokes.

It's the small things, like amazing events and excited conversations, that make fandom great.

My most watched YouTube video as of late is probably one of the music playlists I use to write, like Brian Tyler - I'm Sorry [Far Cry 3 ] (1 Hour Version) or Dark Clubbing / Bass House / Dark Techno Mix 'SINFUL'.

Now, my friend, I am curious about you! What's your most played YouTube? What do you like to create? Best part of fandom? Do you listen to music when you create? and if you do, what do you listen to?

It's so exciting to have a Secret Santa! I hope this answers your questions adequately and I look forward to your response!

[god-whispers]

sep 26

the feast continues

"and at midnight a cry was heard: ‘behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!'" matt 25:6

this is now the second day of the feast and my rising was at 3:00 a.m. this morning.  expectancy - it is still possible for this to be the "set time."  am i disappointed i have to be here another day?  yes and no.  it is another day of anticipation and perhaps more souls will be redeemed and rescued from the horrible time to come.  yea!  there's still time.

you know, there was a moment yesterday when i really wondered.  it was raining fairly hard while the sun continued to shine brightly.  suddenly the rain stopped and i could see a gentle rustling of the wind in the treetops and i wondered - could this be it Lord?

i remember in 1995 there was a great revival in brownsville, located in the panhandle of florida.  a worship song became very anointed and it was marvelous - called "mercy seat."  for those wishing to hear the song and see the words, go to youtube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOmShZN9meA  it is worth watching and listening to again.

yes, come running to the mercy seat.  if believers are still here, there's still time for unbelievers to reach that mercy seat.  cry out to God and lay yourself bare before Him.  He knows it all already.  "there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." heb 4:13

i still can't help myself in thinking, "this year could be the year."  i'm certainly not claiming to know the day or the hour - but the season - we are certainly in it.  and we are told we should know the seasons.  there were so many who did not recognize the time of His first visitation.  we know a second coming is soon when every eye shall see Him - but how many will recognize our Lord calling for us before that?  will they just hear a sudden thunderbolt or a rustling of the wind in the trees?  there will be a secret gathering of believers.

"for as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.  then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left." matt 24:38-40

these are not merely idle words spoken by our Lord.  they are a stern warning of how things will be.  there is coming a "suddenly."  i am still hopeful it will be today.  i don't know how the world will explain our disappearance but certainly the world will provide an explanation.  otherwise, there would surely be a massive opening of eyes to the reality of God - of a heaven and a hell.

i want to ask each one of you sincerely - do you know if you will be taken or left?  i had a good friend write me yesterday that she was glad to receive my email today because it meant i was still here and she had not missed it.  (just a little tidbit to everyone - i have some of these emails written ahead and set to send at a certain time ... so?)  but back to the point.  i remember when i was like that - calling around to see if others were still here.  now i am only concerned as to whether i am still here or not.  we must each be persuaded in our own hearts - that i am His and He will not leave without me.

the tribulation is unlocked the moment the rapture occurs.  look around at what is going on in the world.  it's getting darker and darker as evil has it's day.  it's not just one thing.  it's a convergence of things (a word i've been hearing a lot of lately).  the word says that unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved.  that's how bad it's going to get.  just how bad it will get before our Lord retrieves us?  i don't know.  many have already suffered much for His name.  some are suffering worse than others.  just because some may be living at ease doesn't mean someone else is also.  people are saying we will soon be looking back at these times as the "good times."

this is an opportune time to reach out and help someone else.  i know we can't all physically reach into many areas, but we can pray and offer aid and support to others where and when we can.  this is a time to "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." matt 6:20

Lord, even as my eyes are looking up in expectation, let me not fail to see the needs of one standing close.  i want You to come so much.  i want this to be the day of your calling ... but if not.  i will never give up believing You are coming and that You're coming for me.  as i now head into my prayer time, my closing, as always, will be - come Lord Jesus come.  maranatha!  always maranatha!

[heavenlyyshecomes]

Misc readings pt. 9

Interpretation of dreams, paromita vohra, mumbai mirror

The original goths: why women write gothic horror, the book habit

My grandfather's cult, nathaniel g. moore, toronto life

Our lives happen in restaurants, new york times

Love’s contradictions: catullus on the agony of infatuation, armand d'angour, psyche

The skeletons at the lake, douglas preston, the new yorker

YouTube's lo-fi music streams are all about the euphoria of less, jason parham, wired

On memorizing poetry, connie pan, bookriot

How the clouds got their names and how goethe popularised them with his science- inspired poems, maria popova, brain pickings

Crush, larissa pham, believer

Century old marathi-hindi kirtans get revived in mumbai, mohua das, the times of india

The crow whisperer, lauren markham, harper's magazine

Mugger much love from a one-armed priest, excerpt from wild and wilful: tales of 15 iconic indian species by neha sinha

stopping the void: ottilie mulzet on how her adoptive heritage lead her to a life of and in translation, the paris review

How facebook got addicted to spreading misinformation, karen hao, technology review

The new gwen stefani is a lot like the old one, anne helen peterson, buzzfeed

How a secret european language ‘made a rabbit’ and survived, martin puchner, psyche

The trouble with charlotte perkins gilman, halle butler, the paris review

The limits of the lunchbox moment, jaya saxena, the eater

How the new yorker fell into the “weird japan” trap, ryu spaeth, the new republic

Camping the canon: matthew lewis, milton & the monk, colin broadmoor, blood knife

Why contemporary women artists are obsessed with the grotesque, tess thackara, artsy (article has graphic images)

Haphephobia, olly nze, the audacity

The anxiety of influencers, barett swanson, harper's magazine

My octopus girlfriend, sophie lewis, n+1 mag

Nigella lawson wants everyone to experience the (thoroughly guilt-free) pleasure of food, nigella lawson, lithub