#Sense ya know he wasn't hired yet

[kakusu-shipping]

Doing what I always do in times of stress, Drawing Koro-Sensei Fluff.

[xerith-42]

Why Blaze is MyStreet's Most Failed Character

Blame the big bang discord for this post, I wasn't gonna write it until those fucks encouraged me.

Anyways here's an entire essay about why Blaze is the most wasted character in the entirety of MyStreet and I will literally fight Jessica and Jason Bravura with my bare hands.

To get us started on our harrowing tale of wasted potential and the best improviser Jessica ever hired, we need to go back a little. Back to Phoenix Drop High Season 2. We won't stay here long, I promise, I hate it more than you can possibly know. But the single saving grace of this absolute mess of a season is ya boi, Blaze. Introduced in the 18th episode of the season, airing on April 12, 2017, with the airing of Phoenix Drop High Season 2 Episode 18, Blaze was a character who started his brief tenure series with a bang!

Literally dude showed up and the first thing he ever did on screen as a character in a piece of media we can engage with is throw someone out of a window. We do not know this mans name yet and he's already left a lasting impression. Sure throwing people out of a window is common in werewolf culture, which I don't care what you say that's objectively funny, but it is bold to start a characters entire introduction with that. Blaze comes out of the gate swinging before he's said a single line.

And then after introducing himself he throws a dead bird at Aphmau to show off his hunting skills?? Okay so he's just that fucking weird and overly enthusiastic about things I guess! That's amazing! MyStreet always shines when it just lets it's characters be fucking weird without making a big deal out of it or talking them down for it. Dottie even says that it's romantic which is again just a great showing of Blaze's enthusiasm and lack of what might appear to be common social decorum because of said enthusiasm.

This is all punctuated and brought to a hilarious breaking point when Blaze's final showing of why he should be the new top dog at his school is when the crazy mother fucker rips his shirt off to literally flex about how he's one of the hottest guys in the school. And I'm going to be real with you, given Blaze's later characterization as a himbo, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually care about this. He just says it because he thinks it'll boost his chances. Blaze is later shown to be a character willing to throw away his reputation for the things he cares about, but he does get a rather sincere moment with Aphmau, even if she's blushing the entire time.

It shows that Blaze is not only physically affectionate, but also weirdly comfortable with his shirt off. Because this is purely objective character analysis I will not be shoving my Blaze is autistic and has sensory problems with things touching his chest propaganda down your throats, but now that I've mentioned it once you won't stop thinking about it when this comes up.

The show admittedly fumbles the bag a little by having Blaze say in his internal monologue that he thinks Aphmau is cute and acts kind of like a tsundere, but this is Jesson writing so there's always bound to be a bit of That Shit. But in spite of that, Blaze is a character who has an instant impression that leaves a lot of room for comedy potential, and just good ol' fashion silliness. And while the werewolf plot of Season 2 is... bad, Blaze and the Werewolf Pups are stand out characters in the sense that their characterization leaves a lot of potential if they're in a different, better written story.

And even if the arc is bad, Blaze still is a quality part of it. His shallow but hilarious initial characterization gets built on in some really solid ways. Namely in how he acts as a force for good in Aphmau's life even if she doesn't realize or give him permission to do it. This entire season is about how the different men in Aphmau's life handle helping her in a crisis, and funnily enough, in a season centered around Aaron literally overthrowing Aphmau's new love interest, Blaze is the one who was consistently doing what was best for Aphmau.

Aaron fumbles the ball more than a few times, Ein is shown to be actively malicious, and Kai gets hate crimed. But Blaze, who's barely even a contender in this ship war, is constantly working to actually make things better while everyone else is pulling Aphmau away from what actively matters about her position. While Ein is manipulating her and Aaron is trying to prove that, Blaze throws caution to the wind and just does what he thinks is best to restore order.

But more important than that end conclusion is his true goal of standing up for Daniel. A wolf it is established he barely knew before this year, that Blaze is willing to throw his reputation and standing in a bull shit hierarchy because he's seeing how this hierarchy is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Blaze is the one who is baring his fangs and willing to throw hands when Daniel cowers away from bullies. By the end of the season Blaze has been given adequate screen time to not only show off his fun and maybe a tad out of touch side, but he's been given a real level of sincerity that's tied into the things he's enthusiastic about. He loves being a werewolf, and he extends that love to all the werewolves around him, until they start being dicks to other werewolves who are literally just sitting there.

At the center of Blaze is that inherent goofiness though. He's always cracking jokes, or the joke when he's on screen, and in a series that was originally pitched as a light hearted slice of life comedy in contrast to MCD's general misery, that sort of character is needed to keep the tone. Such is show in episode 22 when Blaze is reading a book on the Scientific Method to just learn more about science, but realizes the book is upside down.

But he actually understood it enough to properly apply the scientific method to this situation?? Iconic. It's played off as a joke of Blaze exploiting a loophole to get out of class, but even that's pretty smart honestly. Blaze may be a dumb ass but he's always willing to cheat an unfair system.

Episode 22 is basically a Blaze centric episode, which I did not expect, but now that I'm rewatching it for this post it might be the reason I love this character so dearly. It's not only the episode where Blaze manages to learn the Scientific Method upside down, but also stands up for Daniel in a really substantial way. Blaze is loud, enthusiastic, and strong, all traits that are celebrated by werewolf culture, and whether he realizes it or not, him just being around Daniel can do a lot to get bullies to back off. Everyone has seen Blaze toss a mother fucker through a window, they do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what Ein's deal is when he hears that Ein went behind Aphmau's back on werewolf matters, landing Daniel in this situation. He hears Ein actively plotting against Daniel, but that is normal werewolf behavior. He concludes that he'll keep an eye on Ein. And this through line of "normal werewolf behavior" informs a lot of Blaze's decisions once he comes to the conclusion that Ein sucks and deserves to be undermined. He resorts to letting his actions speak louder than words and goes to violence after realizing that the wolves aren't listening to reason, they're listening to instinct.

He fights fire with fire, and while Aphmau might not approve, it's more effective than her soft rhetoric has been in getting people to be less of jackasses. This eventually lands him in hot water where he steps in for Daniel after Ein tries to get his goons to beat him up, and even if Blaze is fighting in a five v one, he still goes down swinging. And I'll say it, I think it's sweet that he calls Aaron after this happens. While it's clearly meant to be a thing of Blaze calling the last alpha because he's probably the only person who anyone will listen to, there's an important detail I think is easily overlooked.

He has Aaron's number.

He says he got it from the werewolf pups, but that means that Blaze went out of his way to make sure he could contact Aaron. He's the reason that Aaron even realizes Ein is playing all of them. Blaze is the catalyst for his undoing because unlike Aaron who's nearly imprisoned, heartbroken, and been hesitant to act in the plot as a result, Blaze doesn't actually care that much if Aphmau currently likes him because he's more worried about her physical and mental well being than whether she wants to kiss him or someone else.

How many Aphmau love interests can say that?

Can any of them say that?

Blaze can.

Blaze actually consistently shows a level of selflessness that's unfitting of how I've seen some people characterize him. He gives up his real chance to be Alpha because Daniel is so compassionate and earnest and genuinely deserves it. Blaze wants to believe in a future lead by people like Daniel and Aphmau where he might not have to keep fighting people to keep things sane. Blaze constantly gives up his pride, his power, his safety just to make sure that his friends are taken care of, or to effect real change in a school he's about to leave.

It wouldn't be long after Phoenix Drop High Season 2 ended that Blaze would make his debut in the main series My Street in the second episode of Season 5, airing only a few days after the end of Phoenix Drop High Season 2. Just like before he really shows up with a bang, literally throwing himself through the air between Lucinda and Kim just to catch a frisbee because Blaze is the most extra mother fucker ever, and then immediately proceeds to flirt with them. Iconic as ever. Short but sweet.

It's in episode 3 that it's revealed that Blaze and the werewolf pups kept Aaron company during his rehabilitation year. But from the way it's worded it sounds like Blaze was called in before anyone else by Aaron's parents. Based on the way they talked and actively planned together before, I wouldn't be surprised if Blaze was the first person who came to his mind when Aaron thought of a werewolf friend.

I think Aaron reached out to Blaze when he needed it.

And even though I've previously stated that I don't think Aaron's parents initially liked Blaze because by this era he's old enough to fully take on his persona as the cool stoner friend who's also a little insane in the most charming way possible, he has a good impact on Aaron. Aaron likes being around him, and maybe they smoke weed to help Aaron relieve some of the lasting pain when no one's looking.

Regardless of his methods, Blaze does an ultimate good in Aaron's life as a result of being there for him when he needed it. So much so that he was invited out to Starlight and is shown to be one of Aaron's main pillars of support. We are given scarcely little of this actual friendship, which is where the problem lies. While before Blaze was a surprisingly engaging part of an other wise terrible story, at least in season 5 the story is a lot slower and character focused. And Blaze can work in these moments, we saw him have real moments of sincerity before.

He gets some of it, but the issue is that Blaze isn't allowed to be alone anymore. The cast of MyStreet is huge, and Blaze is a character who is making his second major appearance, while some characters in the cast have been present since literally episode one. It's hard to justify giving him solo screen time when he's been in the series for such little time and we barely have enough time for certain significant characters to really have arcs (Lucinda). Most of Blaze's scenes are scenes with at least four other characters on screen, he's never allowed screen time without at least two other werewolf characters attached to him.

I don't object to Blaze hanging out with his friends, or even making new ones though out the season but... Would it kill the writers to let him have a scene with Aaron? Like. A single scene. Where it's just Blaze and Aaron. I mean just Blaze and Aaron without Aphmau there. They've done this before. They did it in the season Blaze showed up in. Just one scene where the two of them get to talk about literally anything would do so much. Even if they talk about Aphmau, it's better than nothing. It would strengthen both of their characters so much to be able to get a scene where they talk to each other not as conspirators who kinda know each other, but as real friends supporting one another.

Show that even though Blaze said Daniel was more compassionate than he was, Blaze still is a compassionate and even empathetic person. Show why Aaron was grateful to have him during his recovery. They have those scenes of Aaron at physical therapy, right? Why not have Blaze take him one time and just show how they interact then? The possibilities with this unrealized idea are endless, and that's genuinely upsetting. Opportunities like this present themselves every time Blaze makes an appearance, they even tease me by giving me scenes where Aaron is alone with a character he has little to no connection with, Maria.

Maria was a foil for Aphmau. And Ein was a foil for Aaron. And Blaze was a foil for Ein. There is no reason for Maria to really have a rapor that matters with Aaron. He doesn't really know her that well, she's clearly a friend by association, and it seems like an odd thing to focus on when Blaze is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

Why won't they let Blaze talk to Aaron? It's so infuriating. The closest we get is in episode 7 when Blaze attempts to calm down Aaron, but he's shown to be ineffective and it comes down to, of course, Aphmau being the one to talk him down. I swear to Hatsune the writers are making fun of me at this point. They're going "Oooooh you want Blaze to be an actually helpful and supportive figure in Aaron's life soooo bad." AND I DO!

I'm serious when I say the show is teasing me. I've been skimming through Season 5 and only watching the episodes when Blaze is on screen, and so far he has never been in a scene with less than 4 people in it. Never. And even in scenes where he gets to be at least a focal point, he's always limited because he has to share that moment in the spotlight with FOUR OTHER CHARACTERS.

Episode 14 is a great example of this. When the werewolf gang gets told they aren't allowed to eat at a restaurant because they're werewolves, Blaze makes it abundantly obvious that he's put up with this before and really doesn't feel like being hate crimed on his vacation. And he knows that actions speak louder than words and therefore joins Maria in saying they should "teach this establishment a lesson." Personally I think Blaze would've just thrown the manager through a window only to realize it's an outdoor establishment and throw him into the ocean. Which would be objectively funny and deserved because that owner was being cringe and racist.

I love the conversation that happens because it shows the unique way that Aaron sees things from passing as a human for most of his life. This has never happened, but he knows that further acts of violence as a result will only make it happen again. This is a great scene for Aaron. Not really good for Blaze, and the next scene makes him worse. I love the detail that Blaze is an instinctual person more than a planner, but it feels wrong that he doesn't even let Aaron consider planning. I know he wants Aaron to be more spontaneous but he should have more awareness of his friend and his habits and be able to accommodate it, not talk over it.

But it's Jesson, so misunderstanding even their simplest character is par for the course. At least episode 15 gives me Garroth and Blaze talking in the background, and I'm starved for good Blaze content, so I was eating this shit up. The problem with watching MyStreet this way is that Blaze... Just doesn't get a lot of moments... At all. There are some episodes where he doesn't even speak at all, and when he does get to talk in episodes, he gets a few lines in one giant ensemble scene.

I don't object to a show having an ensemble cast, or even a lot of characters with a few central ones, but it really is a detriment to the show that Aaron never gets a scene alone with any werewolf he isn't related to. Nana gets to talk to Blaze when she's having a crisis of her relationship history and experience, but it's just so Blaze can tell her the opposite of what she wants to hear. It's not a scene that feels like it was written for Blaze, because it wasn't. It was written for Nana.

And before some jack ass says it "Blaze is a side character he's not supposed to get a lot of focus" and I'm not asking for a lot. I watched every scene he's in in PDH to prove that it works

BECAUSE IT DID.

Blaze showed up officially in episode 18 out of 30, and he wasn't in every episode after his introduction. But the writers gave him a solid introduction, one good episode that spent most of its run time with him, and really good moments throughout the rest of his time in the series. All I'm asking is that Season 5 at least give me one of those things. Either a good episode where he and his relationship with Aaron is brought into focus, even if it's used as a vector to study Aaron's character, or just more sincere moments for him.

It feels like Blaze is a joke character now when he previously made it very clear he's far more than that.

And then they just forget about him. During the first part of the 3 part finale Blaze is there. He's the one who got everyone to gather at the docks because an mf wants to eat some scrumptious food. But when Aaron sees Ein and starts freaking out, Blaze is literally just not in the scene. At all. Not even as like a throwaway of someone who could've helped but failed, he just is not in the scene at all. It legitimately feels like the writers forgot about him entirely.

Blaze the minute the plot shows up:

He's there after Garroth gets turned and was apparently at Garroth's bedside trying to calm him down which I will be thinking about. A lot. I'll be thinking about how we deserved to see or at least hear some of it, about how the writers continue to tease me with an interesting scene that involves my favorite little fucker, about how heartbreaking it would have been to see Blaze and Melissa try to calm Garroth only for him to scream in pain and try to push them away only to reveal that Zane and Nana are able to hear the entire ordeal downstairs and Zane is panicking when he hears his brother screaming in pain. Just thinking about what we could've had if the writers actually cared about any of these characters.

And then after that he dies.

I'm not watching any of When Angels Fall because I know what's good for my health. I know what happens in Season 6 Episode 9 and that's all I need to know. It doesn't matter if the writers may have finally given Blaze an emotional scene, it doesn't matter if they finally gave him even a hint of character development, it doesn't matter if he made a connection in a real way. Because no matter what he did the result is the same. No matter what quality the writers might've pulled out of their ass, it would ultimately be in service of one end. From the start of this season these writers knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to up the stakes and add more drama to the show, and they wanted to do it by killing Blaze.

And I think I know why.

This is 100% a limited view, but I was on Aphmau Instagram at the time that this season was airing. And I ran a Blaze fan account. I talked to a lot of MyStreet fans during this time and I was constantly upset and disappointed that people didn't understand Blaze's character, or just didn't appreciate it as much as I do. Most people liked Blaze on a very surface level, or because he was attached to another character they liked. I found very few people who genuinely cared about him as an individual, probably because Blaze stopped getting scenes alone by the end of PDH, and because the Aphmau fandom (at the time) had more of a focus on shipping than character work and quality. Blaze was easily shippable with a number of characters, canonically shipped with Dottie a little, and had enough characterization that people cared about him, but not enough to get a large dedicated fanbase.

He was the perfect one to kill.

Enough people liked him because he was hard to hate, he was stapled onto Aaron's character with little regard for a story of his own, and his death could be eventually inconsequential. And it was! Blaze's method of dying is so bad it makes me physically angry!

I know the whole story for the last few seasons has been all about Forever Potions and turning people against each other, but just mind controlling Blaze and having him die while under mind control is such such a missed opportunity. There's been a disappointing lack of proper Aaron and Blaze friendship content, but they could have made up for it in this scene with just a few tweaks. Just have Blaze not be mind controlled at the end. He can still go on that rant about Aaron being the cause of all the bad that's happened, but then the words start to become... disjointed. Jilted. As if Blaze is struggling to say them because he knows that they're wrong. Aaron's his friend, there's no way he'd say that about him.

Have it break.

Have him look at his friend in a worse state than he's ever been in, and instead of approaching him with intent to harm, it's intent to heal. A final attempt at getting through to Aaron. And like the times before, it doesn't work. Aaron's angrier than ever and he isn't seeing or thinking straight thanks to Ein's bull shit. All he can see is an enemy in his way. Maybe he sees Blaze's eyes but Blaze's green eye is still Emerald Green, even if the control broke for a moment. Whatever reason, Aaron still attacks.

He doesn't realize that Blaze wasn't trying to hurt him until it's too late. Aaron's anger already ruined a friend's life, it already pulled all of them into the hell they're in, and now it's killed one of his best friends.

ONE CHANGE. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. ONE SINGLE CHANGE TO MAKE BLAZE'S DEATH ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING.

Ideally I'd like it Blaze just didn't die at all, least of all before the finale, but if you're going to kill him off unceremoniously at least make it have some emotional weight. You've been neglecting him for an entire season and now you just kill him off? Just like that? Oh he gets to show up in heaven? How nice. Is it a scene where he gets to express regrets, remorse, or even give any insight into his feelings?

Of course it fucking isn't! Are you kidding me, that's not even close to what happens. I said i wouldn't watch When Angels Fall but

I LIED!!

I watched Blaze's death scene and his scene in heaven to make sure I knew well and good how badly they failed to kill off my favorite character! And man, the scene in heaven is just the worst! Blaze does a genuinely kind thing for Aphmau and decides to stay with her when she's alone because he doesn't want her to hurt. He saw how much pain Aaron was in without her. He just wants to fucking help her.

But Aphmau's too self absorbed to realize that and instead goes on a whole rant about how she always needs other people to take care of or protect her and how everyone else would be better off yadda yadda. What she doesn't realize and what Blaze eventually gets to tell her is that people were around her and took care of her because they just wanted to. Because she was nice to be around. And they never expected anything else, and never saw her as a burden.

And that's actually a really nice moment. Sort of. There's two major problems. First, Blaze gets cut off from telling Aphmau this at first because Irene has to go on a whole rant about Aphmau being selfish. And she is right in everything that she says, but it feels weird for Irene, who literally doesn't know her, to be making this judgement. This scene should have been Irene observing a conversation between Blaze and Aphmau were Blaze just tries to make her feel better.

And that would hopefully solve problem number two. Which is that what Blaze says is very genuine and heartfelt, but severely handicapped by the fact that he and Aphmau were only friends for a short period of time in High School, and an equally short period of time within the last few months. What Blaze says about why he likes being around her is true, but it would have a lot more weight if there was a chance for Blaze to have been around her as a friend more.

Fuck it, if you need Blaze to be on screen with at least two other characters, why was there never a scene of Blaze, Aaron and Aphmau just talking? Would a single scene of that fucking killed you? Just one scene would have made their friendships a lot more solid and therefore heartbreaking to lose when it gets torn apart.

Third problem, the scene ends with a focus on Irene. Blaze's words echo in her ears, and remind her of her friends. And I like that idea because I'm an absolute sucker for MCD, but it takes the scene away from the focus. This should be a scene about one of Aphmau's friends encouraging her to not give up even if it all seems lost. At least don't let her death be in vain by saying such awful things about her friends while they may be grieving. But Irene is brought into focus again because the show isn't about Blaze, or Aphmau apparently, I guess her Aphmau Main Character Powers overrides Aphmau's. She has more experience with them.

Blaze and Aphmau's very heartfelt dialogue is brought down by the fact that these two characters lives didn't intersect very directly out of high school. Through the course of Season 5 I never got the idea that Blaze was Aphmau's friend. Not to say they weren't friendly, I think Blaze adored her just as much as he did in high school, but as a viewer I was never shown that they cared particularly for one another. I believe that Blaze sincerely cared about her even after all this time, but that's not because of anything the writers did with him in these seasons. It's just because that's the kind of person Blaze is.

But their friendship not being strong really weakens the scene. This is a scene that I know for a fact worked as intended when I watched it as it was coming out. I was an overemotional mess of a 15 year old who hated how this series was going but kept watching it because it was almost over and I might as well get it done with. It pulled on my heartstrings and they sang and I cried. I cried a lot. This scene made me incredibly emotional, and it still got to me as an adult, but the devil is in the details.

Blaze and his arc might work on the surface. They work if you don't pay that close of attention to it. They work if you care more about the characters he's constantly around more than Blaze. And when I first watched Seasons 5&6, I still had a very deep attachment to a lot of these characters, especially Melissa, who he shares a lot of scenes with. So I felt... satisfied? I would've liked more, but I probably wouldn't have complained about what I got (his death scene not withstanding I always thought that was bad).

My my, how the times have changed.

If it wasn't obvious from the four thousand or so words you just read, Blaze is a rather unique case of these writers failing as writers. A rather unique case where the perfect character to fix a lot of problems with their show practically jumped up in the air waving his arms around and they still brushed past him to focus on a predetermined story he was shoved into. I don't think the writers ever really had a plan for where Blaze would go or what he would do.

A lot of Blaze's best character moments are when he isn't being written by Jesson. The reason I love the minigames so much is because there, Blaze's incredibly talented voice actor Jason Lord is actually really funny and pretty good at improv. Obviously some bits of the mini games are scripted, but a lot of them are just seeing how much voice actors can get into their characters, which he's fantastic at. A lot of Blaze's funniest moments come from this too, which is great when the writers turn him into a comedy character but the characters voice actor is funnier than they both are and is only a funny character when they don't have direct control of him. Lord is able to bring life to a character who may have been lacking it due to the simultaneously focused and unfocused way the series was written.

Blaze is proof of what happens when writers don't bother to develop their characters beyond the outline. The draft notes for PDH Season 2 said "there's going to be a wolf character who tries to become Alpha and instead stands up for Daniel when he's bullied." and then Blaze was born. The writers gave him some characterization as a treat to make the story work better, and then were done with it then and there. We fleshed him out enough, good character, time to put him in season 5 so people stop criticizing us for not giving Aaron enough friends.

But the problem wasn't a lack of quantity in friends, it was a lack of quality. It was a lack of scenes that let Aaron interact with other characters without Aphmau present. It was a lack of characters to point to that were real emotional connections Aaron had that weren't his last minute family or his girlfriend. It was a lack of attention given to the few characters that could've filled that role. Dante almost filled it in season 2, and Aaron and Garroth could have arguably become closer after everything in season 4, but at that point Aaron's entire arc became centered around Aphmau.

It was the fact that Blaze was one of the few people who ever directly reached out to Aaron and then was never given a scene alone again. It was because the writers wrote too many characters, tried to give the series a more direct focus, and then failed to account for the characters that were dragged along even if they didn't necessarily know what to do with them.

So when Season 6 came around and they decided to make the show super serious no really stop laughing, they needed characters to kill off to up the stakes. It's not like Blaze's character was going anywhere. It's not like they had a plan for him. Nothing was really being lost.

It's not like Blaze was one of the most sincere and dedicated characters in the series. It's not like he had one of the biggest potentials in regards to his relationship with Aphmau or Aaron. It's not like there was time spent proving that he could be a solid pillar of support in both of their lives even under dire circumstances. It's not like he was set up that way through individual scenes where he got to talk to each of them on a personal level. That definitely didn't happen.

TLDR: MyStreet peaked at season 2 and they fumbled the bag with the best chance to make it peak even higher and I'm forever bitter about it. Now get out of my house.

[queenofcats17]

The Ink Demonth 14

Today's theme is Steam.

===========================================

If there was one thing Wally hated about getting roped into doing mechanical work, it was the conditions it had been to be done in. Janitorial work could be messy, sure, but it didn't usually require him to crawl into tight spaces to fiddle with things.

Which was what he was currently being required to do.

Currently, he, Tom, and Lacie were in the studio boiler room, trying to work out what was going on with a clog in the pipes.

"I don't see why we can't just call a plumber for this kinda stuff," Wally groaned, tugging on the collar of his shirt. "This isn't any of our jobs!"

"Drew's too cheap to hire a plumber," Tom grumbled from his perch on a step ladder.

"Especially not when he's got perfectly good free labor to throw at it," Lacie agreed, rolling her eyes as she fiddled with the boiler.

Wally groaned, throwing his hands up. "I tell ya! If I gotta do any more of these extra jobs-"

"You're outta here," Lacie and Tom said in unison. "We know."

Wally went a bit pink, ducking his head. If he hadn't taken his hat off due to the heat in the room, he probably would have been tugging it down over his face at this point.

"Yeah yeah, alright, I get it," he mumbled. "...You guys makin' any progress in figurin' out what's goin' on?"

"Other than the fact that it's a miracle this thing still runs?" Lacie tapped the side of the ancient boiler. "Nope."

"I'm not seeing where the clog might be," Tom said, craning his head around the pipes. "I- Fuck!" He was cut off as a blast of steam came out of one of the open pipes, blowing onto his hand and causing him to drop the wrench he'd been using.

"You alright?" Wally hurried over to the ladder.

"Shit... I'm fine," Tom said through gritted teeth, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Go run it under cold water for a little." Lacie didn't look up from her tinkering. "Don't want you getting burned."

"I'll be fine," Tom insisted as he went to pick up his wrench.

Lacie finally looked up, fixing Tom with a look that gave no room for argument. "Go run your hand under cold water," she repeated firmly. "The pipes aren't going anywhere."

Tom hesitated for a moment before letting his shoulders slump. "Fine. I'll be right back," he muttered before leaving the room.

Wally watched him leave with wide eyes. "How'd you do that?" He whispered once Tom was gone.

"I've had a lot of practice," Lacie replied. "Now you get up there and see if you can find the clog."

Wally had the good sense not to argue with her because he knew he absolutely was not going to win this argument and got up on the step ladder. "I'm startin' to wonder if there even is a clog," he said as he started to poke around.

"Might not be." Lacie shrugged. "Could just be that this thing," she hit the boiler again for emphasis. "Is finally giving up the ghost."

"It's kinda a miracle anythin' works around here," Wally said. Now it was his turn to nearly drop the wrench due to a blast of steam, but he managed to avoid getting hit.

"Ain't that the truth." Lacie cast a disgusted look around the room. "How'd y'all get all this past inspectors?"

"Pretty sure Mr. Drew pays 'em off," Wally said, tentatively sticking his hand into a pipe. "Or some of 'em, at least."

"Of course he does." Wally started a bit at the sound of Tom's voice as he reentered the room. "Found anything yet?"

"I think there's.... somethin' in here," Wally said, shifting to stick his arm further into the pipe. "I can feel something back here... Aha!" He pulled his arm out, triumphantly holding up a clump of... something. It wasn't clear just what the thing was, just that it looked... pretty disgusting.

"Nice job, Franks." Tom allowed himself a small smile.

"I'm almost done too," Lacie said. "Or as done as I can be."

"Whaddaya mean?" Wally climbed off the ladder.

"There's a lot of problems with this thing that I just can't fix," Lacie explained. "It'd honestly be easier just to replace it."

"But we know Drew won't do that," Tom concluded, running a hand over his face with a sigh.

"Exactly." Lacie nodded.

"Well, we did what we could." Wally shrugged slightly.

"We did what we could." Tom echoed in agreement. "And if Drew wants more, he can damn well hire someone else to fix it."

"Yeah!" Wally held up his hand for a high five. The hand that was still holding the unidentifiable lump. Tom's eyes flicked from the clump to Wally and he shook his head. Wally frowned for a moment before seeming to realize what Tom meant.

"Aw, shoot. Lemme take care of this," he said before hurrying out of the room to take care of the clump.

Tom let out a small snort of laughter. He didn't know how Wally could remain in such good spirits all the time but... It was kind of life-affirming. He wished he could have that kind of positivity.

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxie Love:Gavin's Mom has got It Going On!!

Springfield was that kind of town in a sense if you were to ask certain different people their opinions about it. Those who were born and lived there couldn't imagine being anywhere else but they sure as hell will complain about its problems. America's trash hole, the worst city around, just among the few nicknames and terms which came to mind with this pissant little town. For one woman of course Springfield and its issues were the least of her worries.

Now our lovely little ditz here, let's call her oooh I dunno Cakes, as in because she looked like a real piece of hot cakes, i mean you see that ass she's got packed away in these jeans?!! Anyways Cakes here was just parking her mini-van after having just returned from a grocery store run as she unpacked and began to haul her purchaes inside. A deadpan hum thinking of course Gavin or Caitlin wouldn't be bothered off their lazy asses to come around and consider helping her out. But really what else could she expect from those two, especially Gavin?

Well besides his being his usual pain in the ass self, calling her an idiot and what not but chalk it up to the choices she made in her youth. Choices that she was still dealing with the consequences of as she opened her front door to step inside, calling out her return to her kids, puzzled yet unsurprised to get nothing in the way of a response. No doubt Caitlin was busy chatting away on the phone or Gavin was likely being a rude little shit on one of those online games of his. One of these days she swears that attitude of his was going to get him in a hell of a lot of trouble.

Little did she know of course at this very moment, a hell of a lot of trouble had come Gavin's way in the form of the killer for hire misfits known as I.M.P., Yeah let's just say someone in hell had wanted to see that little shitstain and his sister dead.....well a lot of someones, christ it'd been a whole group that if they had them line up, it would've gone around the block, twice!! Long story short, it was a direct enough kind of job, get into the living world, find the two spoiled rotten brats and murder their asses!! It just so happened Mama Hotcakes had come back home just as they were in the midst of disposing of the bodies as the upstairs bathroom looked as bloody and messy as a slaughterhouse as Loona stood by the door keeping a lookout. Her ears twitching, nose flaring as she picked up the sound and scent indicating they had a witness situation pending.

Loona:*looks up from her browsing on her phone as she peeked out the door, looking back to her co-workers as they hunched and loomed over the blood filled tub.* "Hey Blitz, we got a situation. I think the mom just came home so ya know, fyi, she sees this shit? She's gonna freak the fuck out..."

Blitzo:*dressed in hazmat wear, as were Moxxie and Millie as they were hacking up the bodies and using bleach, salt and acid to melt them down. The clients were very thorough and distinct in how they wanted these little shits handled.*"Oh come the fuck on!! I thought we had her routine down!!"*waves around Gavin's skinned off skull, identifiable by his greasy shithead hair with its rat-tail pony tail. Moxxie giving him a deadpan glance behind the visor of his helm.*

Moxxie:"No, sir we didn't. You just said we were gonna go in and quote unquote ''Fuck these little rats up and let God sort them out!!". This wasn't all that well planned out in advance, we got lucky their mother was out at the time..."*Somedays it's a wonder their organization saw business with a former circus clown running things. Not that he would be bothered saying that to Blitzo's face, he was NOT in the mood for another of the former circus kid's wise-ass remarks about his manhood or lack of. For anyone who's been reading this story so far all very well know he wasn't lacking, no sir he was packing!! But I digress...*

Blitzo:"Okay criticism noted and ignored Moxxie, can't be helped so good on you for volunteering!!*That set off a few red flags in Moxxie's brain. Just his luck, his employer was once again looking to go along with a gut impulse instinct. he had to think and act fast. Otherwise this job might go more south than that whole springbreak fiasco, he was NOT a possum thank you!!*

Moxxie:"Wait volunteering for what?"*As he passed on some parts here and there to Millie who dunked them into the tub and stirred away. The chemicals working their way into melting down bone, viscera and skin. Pretty soon there'd be no bodies to find and Gavin and his sister would be likely already down in Hell pending punishment. Hey equal opportunity damnation, right?*

Blitzo:"Why running interference and distraction of course! Get out of those duds, pour on the charm and distract that Karen long as possible. I think this is gonna take us a while, knew that guy who sold me this bonesaw was lying. Cut through a human femur in 30 seconds my horny little ass!!

Moxxie:"but sir-!!"*Despite efforts otherwise, Moxxie couldn't even get a chance to protest as Blitzo pulled the hazmat suit off of him and threw him out into the corridor outside of the bathroom. Looks like the boss made up his mind so now he had to keep Cakes from being a witness by any means necessary, Millie shooting him an apologetic glance while Loona just shot him a thumbs up. Well this was likely to go one of two ways, the most likely being she sees him and mistakes him for a possum. Which would result in her screaming, wailing on him with a broom and try to kill him but time to see how fortune smiled today.*

Sighing as he shrugged his shoulders, the imp made his way to the stairs to go intercept the single mom, who paused half way up on her journey there as she indeed laid eyes on him. An awkward silence occurring naturally as the pair stared at each other, the imp certainly had to say, far as suburban moms went, this gal was more than easy on the eyes that was for sure. You couldn't really tell she'd even had two kids. But of course a part of his brain did remind him that it was time for the other shoe to inevitably drop as she finally spoke up.

Cakes:"Are you the gigolo I was expecting?"*That question seemingly out of nowhere threw the imp for a loop that was for sure. He wasn't sure how or why, of course, unaware that indeed the MILF had indeed been expecting such a thing. Until he remembered that indeed, they had on their way here from Imp City to the living world, wound up falling from the portal in the sky on top of some guy who looked like a male stripper. Leave it to Blitzo to be hasty reading the dimensional travel spell but least he had the bright idea to just tie the guy up and leave him behind the bushes.*

Moxxie:*Deciding he had to whatever was necessary, just shrugged and decided to go along with humor her presumption. It wasn't like he could pass for a Gigolo anyways but not according to Millie and a few others who'd think he put legit ones to shame. She'd likely think it was a prank or the agency pulled some false advertising then likely go Karen on them and call to complain, asking for the manager to provide her a refund. Speaking up as he finally replied.*"Yeah sure that's me alright...baby..."

Cakes:*Not noticing Moxxie wince at that cringey bit of cheesiness feeling like his sack of shit old man there (Seriously Crimson go fuck yourself), seemed to perk and bright up.* "Well wasn't expecting you so soon that's for sure. Weird costume but hey kind of a turn on. Doesn't seem like my kids are home so let's not waste anytime since you're here on the hour."*That threw the imp for another loop, she seriously believed him? Blinking as she scrambled up the stairs, grabbing and pulling Moxxie by his hand, following behind her due to momentum. And getting quite a view of her backside, seeing how tight those denim jeans hugged her legs, especially around that applebottomed ass of hers. Which only helped to distract him as he found himself taken into what he could only assume was her bedroom.*

Moxxie:"Oooh crumbs...."*Was about all he could manage to say as the milf didn't bother to lock her door, assuming it was just the two of them with her kids out and nobody else to bother them. The imp knowing full well said kids were dead and being disposed of by his co-workers in the bathroom. It was a miracle they didn't leave much of the house looking like a crime scene as he watched the single hot mama kick off her shoes and ditch her leather jacket and lime green cap. Showing off she had quite the toned body no doubt from a lot of exercise and yoga a woman her age would be into before she suddenly picked him up and placed him back flat on the bed.*

Cakes:"Now that I get a better look at you, you may not look like the kind of guy I'd see in sports illustrated but youu definitely are too cute to pass up."*The blondey quipped playfully and sensually, looming over the small imp making him feel cornered. He had to admit, this wasn't as scarousing fear boner inducing encounter like that whole fiasco with Martha before he found her peeling off his coat, followed by undoing and removing his shirt and tie. The milf purring as she found his comapct frame to be rather toned and nice to the touch.*"The whole bodypaint cosplay is a neat gimmick too, especially the horns, now then let's see what you're pack-"*Whatever Cakes was about to say was halted as she finished getting off his pants and bxoers, eyes widening and jaw dropping at the sight of Moxxie's erect length and girth.*"....Oh....My...God..."

Moxxie:"Uhm....should've warned you I'm kind of a grower...."*The imp tried to explain and reassure the hot mama before he gasped and groaned at her suddenly grasping his cock. Stroking it in her silky palm and fingers as her expression of shock gave way to awe followed by rising ecstasy. Biting her lower lip sensually as she rubbed her denim clad thighs together, feeling a goddamn waterfall flow between her legs as any and every man she'd been with prior became fading memories. The imp stud soon finding her plant licks and kisses on his shaft from tip to base, outright worshipping his balls with her tongue as she lubed him up with her drool before soon practically making herself suffocate as she proceeded to perform fellatio.*

The blonde bombshell just couldn't help herself, like some switch had been flipped inside her brain, setting her off into a bitch in heat mode that made her want to suck and blow on this cock. Rubbing her denim covered camel toe as she felt her pussy radiate with stickyness and warmth as if calling for her to get on letting this shortstack stud fuck her. Rut her like he wanted to put a baby in her and for the Love of all that was holy raise them right this time!! A thought that got louder in volume as her eyes burnt with a rising lust and she took in inch after inch of this long, thick womb hammering veiny piece of pussy pounding heaven, his sounds of arousal music to her ears.

Whatever doubts or hesitation Moxxie had before about having to, as Blitzo put it, run interference pretty much went south thanks to the intense thirsty blowjob this hot sexy mama was giving him. Her saliva practically drowning his shaft as her tongue lapped up his flowing pre as She unknowingly ticked off a few boxes in Moxxie’s sexual checklist. It was a little fact that only a few select women knew about Their favourite alpha male and it was that the raw desire and pleasure provided by a bitch that was clearly horny for him really turned him on. And this tall, blonde drink of water was really making him want to primal on her…and of course that was what he proceeded to do!!

Cakes:”OOOOOOOOH Fuuuuuuuuuuuck me fuckfuckfuck oh fuck me daddy fuck me fuck me hard!!”*Was about all the single mama that could definitely give Stacy’s mom a run for her money could say in between moaning and screaming in ways that there was no way the whole neighbourhood couldn’t hear them. That is when she could remember to use words let alone form sentences as many a female passer by or neighbour of varying legal sexual age and prime felt turned in and so envious, wondering why they couldn’t get that lucky. Making the men some of them had feel shameful and inadequate while the sexy bitch in heat continued to get pounded by Moxxie’s natural sexual lethal weapon doggy style, biting the grasping the sheets of her bed for dear life. The clapping of her asscheeks against that jackhammering imp’s pelvis as his length and girth ensured no other man was ever going to cut it when it came to satisfying her.*

Moxxie”Seeet unholy whore of Babylon…”*The imp couldn’t help but mumble, grunting as he continued to hammer away into the blonde bombshell’s pussy. Her naked body glistening with a sheen of sweat as the bed shook and creaked from how intense and wildly they were fucking. Knowing at this point that it was clear it’d been way, WAY too long since this woman had actually been sexually satisfied, so of course even it meant having to plow away until his balls ran dry, she had to so well fucked that she felt like she’d see God!! Or at least be knocked out long enough for the others to finish up with getting rid of the bodies and make their escape.*

Fuck her he certainly did, from massaging her juicy hips as she rode him cowgirl style, hearts glowing in her eyes as her bimbo airhead like brain became flooded with pleasure, to having this imp continue to rock her suburban mom world as he pinned her in between a mating press and a piledriver, working her insides like some erotic butter churn. And she was loving every damn second of it that she was actually forgetting she had kids for the time being, christ she thinks she mayve actually been falling in love, or was it just lust? Not that it ell mattered right now as the pair went at it in ways that were putting pornstars to shame, seconds going into minutes which woild become hours unaware they were being watched of course. Millie and Loona watching on with voyeuristic delight as their stud once again gave another needy slut a taste of vitamins Mox, the hellhound catching videos and pictures on her phone.

Blitzo:*pokes his head out from the bathroom door, steam coming out as as he worked away on the disposal and cleaning of the evidence.*”Hey is Moxxie done yet? The little shits’ corpses are pretty much non existent and I’ve been cleaning this bathroom of evidence so much the bitch coild be able to see herself on the floor!” *Yes indeed the disposal had been long since completed, the bathroom sparkling clean bar the equipment gathered up in the corner. The head honcho of IMP not quite picking up the telltale sounds of Moxxie’s ongoing sexual marathon with the brats’ hot mama. Somedays the guy could be denser than Mammon’s rotund stomach.*

Loona:*Rubbing her soaking wet thighs together, tail wagging as she and Millie continued watching the live porn show. Already thinking of her own oending fun times with her imp daddy after this gig that’s for sure.*”Oh yeah, the bitch is really…putting up a fight, he’s really got to go John wick on her….”*She lied unconvincingly BUt given being deadpan snarky and monotone tended to be her default mood set, of course her adopted dad would fall for it. He was the kind of guy you’d be able to sell a boat in the desert to.*

Millie:”Oh yeah it’s a violent fight, who knew a soccer mom could be so vicious….”*Leave it to Millie of course with that sincere country accent of hers to add to the bluff. Licking her lips at watching the air headed hottie’s thicc, toned tits and ass jiggle and shake as she became an addict for her man’s dick. Somedays coming to the living world was always fun because you never knew what sexy slurs and bitches could get lucky meeting her husband. It was hot and sexy as all fuck.*

Blitzo of course ought that load of tripe easily enough, shrugging his shoulders as h decided to give their crime scenes another clean over, including the brats’ rooms. Helping himself to looting some of their stuff of course, some living world material could sell for a mint back in hell, especially in the greed ring. The foursome finally making their escape after Moxxie finally called done on his “interference run”, clothes a bit messy due to hastily dressing back up. Sure he was a mess but not compared to Cakes, who was left in what remained of her bed, soaked with sweat and sex juices and a blissful smile on her face.

She’d almost wake up thinking it might have been a dream had it not been for the business card Millie had left in her night stand. Which of course provided Moxxie’s cellphone number and email, sealed with a kiss by the wrath shortstack hinting that her little gigolo wouldn’t and didn’t need to be a one off. Suffice to say, the sexy single mama was already looking forward to it, as she had herself quite an enjoyable shower, playing with herself as she fantasies about the gigolo who rocked her world. Wearing fresh set of her usual ensemble as she looked herself in the mirror, dare she be narcissistic but damn she was looking better than usual.

So much so that she got an idea as she took some naughty selfies, one flashing a tit and the other mooing the camera with her bubble butt as she sent them to Moxxie, adding his number to her contacts. This was definitely going to Something to talk about with her gal pals as she got out and drove out in her ride. Idly wondering, why did she have a mini-van……ah well. Yes indeed Moxxie had fucked her so well she forgot she was even a mom…..at leas for maybe another 9 months assuming he didn’t leave a bun in her oven. If not then well that could be arranged. For IMP it had been just another job…for Millie, it was her man once again proving he was an absolute unit stud.

[saltymongoose]

Hey its stitches anon...idk if your requests are open, hell I'd gladly commission you at this point. But I was wondering if you could write a small fiction about the main 4 and their lover/partner (trans man he/they) that just recently got fired from their job because they are disabled? And who is now in pain and is super sad? That just happend ot me today (2 days till my birthday too) I have HEDS, pots, and mast cell to name a few. I can't write to save my life either. And I just want my bois comforting me while trying to find a new job. Sorry you can completely ignore this

Love all of your work and u would gladly commission you with what money I have for fics too ❤️ reminders to drink water everyone

Hey Stitches Anon <3, I'm really sorry to hear about your job, that's an absolutely awful thing for them to do. :( You've probably found another place to work by now, and while I don't know very much about legality, I'd keep an eye on labor laws regarding disability where you live. (Where I'm from, firing anyone for stuff directly related to their disability is extremely illegal.) However, while I can't give much advice on this since Idk legal stuff like this that well, I can write about the boys comforting you, so I whipped these up for ya. Good luck in your professional career, my friend! :) 💕❤️💖💗(P.S. And Happy New Year!!! 🎉✨🎊)

[Part 1] They Comfort Their Disabled!Transmasc!Partner During a Jobsearch ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned

(TW: Mentions of Violence, Brief mentions of disability-based discrimination, extreme fluff.) *A.N: I wasn't too sure about how much detail to go into with PoTS/hEDS/Mast Cell, so please lmk if I portrayed anything in this incorrectly and I'll rework it pronto. Thank you! &lt;3

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Rage and worry are the two words that best encapsulate what Hank feels once you tell him that you've gotten fired and why. Your disability didn’t prevent you from getting hired in the first place, so there’s no logical reason why it should cause your boss to fire you either. It doesn’t make any sense to him, and the fact that this whole situation is happening to you really pisses him off.

(You've seen Hank angry before, but it was never like this. He's almost shaking with rage, his hands spasming against you as he rasps out the harsh question of who was responsible for your tears and the sobs that left you. Yet you don't give their name, instead opting to press your face deeper into his collar. He goes still when you sniffle and whimper, his tense form relaxing as he presses even closer to you, pulling you tighter to him and enveloping you in his form. He'll drop the issue for now; those bastards who fired you can wait. Your well-being was always been one of his first priorities anyway.)

In typical Hank fashion, the first solution he suggests is outright murdering who fired you to get your previous job back, which makes no sense to you. (It's not like your company would be eager to hire someone whose boyfriend killed their ex-coworker). The proposition does get a small laugh out of you though, so he still considers it an achievement.

Instead of going out to commit a massacre in your name, he decides to divert all of his energy toward taking care of you and comforting you as best he can. This means he puts off all of his "official work" for as long as possible; he can tell how distraught losing this job made you, so he considers helping you to be his new mission. There’s no one that Hank ever has ever cared for more than you; you're the most special person in his life, so it’s only natural for him to put all of his focus on his role as your partner when you need the support.

Despite being wholly indifferent to the plights of Nevada's denizens, you are the only exception to his apathy, and he’ll be all over you trying to help you out during this time. He’s not the most domestic person, so he can’t take care of much on his own, but he’ll do his best to complete your normal household chores nonetheless; cleaning, taking out the trash, etc. He even cooks on rare occasions, if he thinks you shouldn't be doing it (usually because you're either too tired or in pain). You'll have to instruct him on what to do for some of these (especially cooking, he's not really experienced with that), but he'll complete every task dutifully. Hank is very good at following orders, after all.

(He straightens up when you take a bite of the food he made, his hands twitching as you give him a pleased, albeit tired smile. "It's very good," you say in response to the question you know he's aching to ask. Your eyes meet the red lenses of his goggles, and your grin widens. "Thanks, babe. You did well." He made your favorite, and although it doesn't taste exactly like how you make it, you think you prefer this version.)

Yet this is more of an afterthought compared to his main preoccupation: being by your side for as long as you'll have him, in the most literal fashion. He's almost attached to your hip the entire time, molded to your side and purring as he tugs you closer to him.

He prefers to show most of his affection through touch; hugging you softly, pressing what remains of his lips to your cheeks and forehead (and a few stray pecks on your mouth, of course), and keeping a stray hand on yours whenever you're busy looking through job listings on your tablet. He's soft and careful, always having a close eye on you for any signs of pain when he shifts closer to you, and silently noting every bruise or mark you might have in an effort to avoid irritating them. Whenever you make a noise of pain, or even if you show the smallest sign of strain, he immediately freezes, tilting his head at you in obvious worry and attempting to bring your attention to him so he can ask if you need anything.

Despite how often he gets injured, Hank doesn't know close to anything about the medical field, so he'll insist that you speak to Doc about any pain and discomfort you have due to your disabilities (who recommends you to Skinner, since he's also not a doctor either). That being said, Hank will do his best to help with alleviating anything you're going through at the same time, whether it be by fetching you your medications at a scheduled time, carrying you if you're in too much pain/too tired to walk around (or adversely, helping you exercise if you want to), or just cuddling with you if you'd prefer that. (He's constantly on the verge of being in your personal bubble anyway, so may as well.)

If anything, you'll have to tell him to stop hovering over you at times, since he's just that clingy. It's sweet that he's so concerned, but while you recognize that he's trying to show you his love the best way he can, it can be a bit smothering at times. (Like when you're trying to read out available positions and he sees fit to carefully drape himself over your back, purring like a large cat. It's nice, until he ends up obscuring the view of what you're doing.)

He'll cooperate of course, since he respects your boundaries as any partner should, but he will put in an effort to be more verbal after this to make up for it. His voice is very rough from disuse, and his wording can be a bit clunky when he compliments you, but the blunt praise you get from him still makes you blush. It's probably because you know for a fact that everything he says is what he honestly believes, which just makes it a hundred times more meaningful.

(Your face burned with each subsequent word about how proud of you he was, and the short declarations he gave of how much he admired you and your strength. Hearing such words from someone as powerful as him made them very impactful, although this also just made you more bashful to receive them. 

"Thank you…you didn't have to say anything like that, hun. It’s very sweet of you," you said before laughing a bit awkwardly. Perhaps it was in your nature to try to skirt around compliments, or at least those that were so direct and blunt, but that would never work with Hank. He never wasted his breath on lies or things he didn’t feel important to put out there, it just isn’t how he works. He states things like they’re facts because they are. He’s proud of you, you’re strong, you’re handsome, etc. He could go on. And he will.

He looked at you for a moment before shrugging. “...Doesn’t matter if I need to say it. It’s still true.” In Hank's view, if he has to strain his voice just to show you the level of affection you rightfully deserve, that’s more than alright. He speaks only when necessary, and bringing your mood up at a time like this makes it so. Besides, he’d much rather use his words to compliment you than for anything else, really.)

However, when it comes to actually helping you get another job, he isn’t can't do all that much. It’s not his fault; Hank hasn’t had a “normal” job in a very long time, so his ideas on how to find one are very out of date. Nevada’s not exactly in the same state it was when he was employed in a traditional setting, and the rubble that makes up most of the cities still around wouldn’t be very useful for real estate. (Which is the only thing he has concrete experience in. Besides homicide.)

The most he can do is keep an eye out for any “help wanted” signs and writing down the locations of the places he finds them. He’ll also ask Deimos, Sanford, and Doc to look into potential job openings. (Well, demand they do. Luckily some explanation by Doc about how Hank's boyfriend was fired was enough to remedy any protest. It's weirdly nice of the merc to be so concerned about someone else. Barring the surprise of him even having a boyfriend to begin with, since he'd never said a word about you to them before.)

2BDamned is also surprisingly okay with just letting his main agent take some time off to help his significant other while they look for a job. However, Doc realizes better than anyone that if he attempted to keep Hank from you in a time like this, he'd just leave anyway (and violently), so there's little point in even trying. He's the most clued in out of everyone about Hank's personal life and has enough sense to know about your importance to him. (Why else would Hank be asking about "date ideas" and engagement rings, of all things?)

He wonders sometimes if you realize just how much you've got the tall grunt wrapped around your finger. Though, judging by how Doc can hear you brighten up and playfully admonish Hank when he accidentally interrupts your calls with him (and the fact that he can hear the man purring loudly over the phone after you call him a pet name), you must have a pretty good idea by now.

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned likely didn’t approve of you working at your previous job to begin with, as it was too far from the Status Quo’s base of operations for him to keep an eye on you at all times (and being with him did put a considerable target on your back, no matter how secret you tried to keep your relationship). However, he was wholly displeased when you tearfully revealed to him that you’d been fired for something you had absolutely no control over.

Both the sheer audacity and the stupidity of the company you worked for are incredibly surprising to him. He'll make a quick note to find out where your previous workplace is located; he won't do anything to ruin them, as much as he has the power to, but if some of his agents in the location accidentally do anything to hurt their business, he's not going to offer anything close to assistance. (Although the agents might get a soft reprimand - it's hard to be mad at them for this, even if he really should be.) It's petty, but also far more than he knows they have a right to.

However, in the meantime, he'll focus on comforting you while you find another job, seeing as interfering with your previous workplace is beneath his consideration. (Unless you ask him to, of course. He's always frowned upon people who couldn't separate their work from their personal lives, but he could handle the hypocrisy if using his resources for this made you happy. After seeing how they made you cry, he thinks it would be at least somewhat deserved.)

Doc's a busy man, but he'll always have time for you. Luckily for him, he's not exactly needed at any bases, and his work has him moving around quite a bit as is, so staying at your place to help you won't cause any issues. It’s not like anyone would notice his absence. Although, he'd be willing to forgo his current assignments regardless; you're more important, to put it simply.

He's well versed in your medical conditions already, due to hours of research and speaking with both you and Skinner, no doubt. Even before you were fired, he'd have been there to help you should you need it (even if a phone call away), and there's no reason why this would change after the fact. He's always been reliable, and just like back then, he'll be there to give you exactly what you need to keep yourself comfortable. This also includes himself, if you so ask.

You'll often find yourself with your head resting in his lap, feeling his eyes rake over you once in a while to look for any signs of pain and discomfort. (To anyone else, it would feel cold or clinical, but something about Doc's gaze always warms when it's placed on you.) His voice loses its harsh edge when he reads your listings, occasionally nudging you against contacting them for an interview if the company in question gives pay that's too low or lacks the benefits he knows you deserve.

("That last one sounds alright," you muttered, and he paused from reading his tablet to give you a look of slight disapproval. You raised a brow as if to ask what the problem was and he sighed.

"Honey, they don't have dental or offer basic health insurance - and the salary is half of what you should be making," he responded pointedly, to which you laughed. This was Nevada, it's not like that was common anyway, and most businesses couldn’t afford very good pay rates at that. Yet the fact that your boyfriend was so concerned about where you'd end up working was so funny to you for some reason. The leader of one of Nevada’s greatest forces fretting about your hourly wages. Perhaps it was because it was so weirdly domestic; you didn’t get a lot of time with him considering his work schedule, so to have him drop everything just to do something so normal was actually surprising to you. It seems you underestimated just how much you meant to him. Which you know he’d chide you for if he could read your mind. Of course he would do that, he loves you.)

(You didn’t notice how he stopped reading yet again, gazing at you warmly as you drifted off in thought. For a moment he wondered if it would be better to have you work for him, where he could keep an eye on you and give you the opportunities you’d already worked for. However, he knew he couldn’t stomach you being in danger because of it, and decided against doing so. Though he’s still going to vet who you’re looking to work for, that’s a given.)

Doc’s actually rather quick to begin assisting you with lining up interviews; he’s the type of person who tries to get rid of the emotional weight of problems by solving them as soon as he can, and so he tries to do the same here. However, he’s not tone-deaf; he’s not going to immediately push it on you if you’re in need of comfort after just being fired.

There are very few people that 2BDamned can say he genuinely cares about, and you're the most important of those individuals by far. This shows in how he softens his voice around you, the sweet pet names that are reserved only for you, and the tender way he kisses you whenever he removes his mask. His gestures only increase here, when he knows you need his comfort more than ever.

He's never been the most physical in how he shows his affection (it's something he's had to ease himself in to with your relationship), but that gets thrown out the window for the most part. While he won't be cuddling you whenever you're together, you can expect to be seated in his lap with one of his arms thrown around your waist to keep you close while you both go through your work (you looking for some and him reading reports). He treats it like a casual thing, and he's found that having you near him like this brings him more peace of mind.

(The slight smile he can see tug at the corners of your lips when you feel the warmth of his form against yours is the main benefit though. Although the weariness in your eyes from what happened still hasn't faded away, you're certainly feeling better than before. Your gaze flickers upward to meet his, and he feels a purr building up when you give him a look of unbridled affection.)

While Doc is aware that he can't remove your pain or completely prevent all of your disabilities' more disruptive symptoms from happening, his main goal is to make sure you aren't having to deal with them as often as possible. If there's anything he can do, from finding special types of medication that help you the most (which is likely in short supply due to how Nevada is) to setting up schedules so you avoid getting exhausted, he’ll get it done immediately and without question. It’s his goal to make it so you’ll never feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for his help with anything (medical-related or otherwise), and you don’t.

Furthermore, Doc’s not a medical specialist per se, but he also took some “classes” from Skinner on how to treat the more major symptoms you might experience. Case in point, those unfortunate times you dislocated some of your joints, and he resets them for you, or when he eases you into a better position to recover if you happen to faint from your blood pressure dropping too quickly.

(He’s been arms deep in people’s intestines and gore before to put them back together, and done so with relative nonchalance, but seeing you in pain makes him almost queasy by comparison. The point that brings him back to focus is his central goal; minimizing your pain and discomfort, which means taking care of your state swiftly.)

2BDamned is someone who respects your independence. You're capable of taking care of yourself, as you usually do when he's not there. However, in a situation like this one, where you need him, he'll always be there. You're Doc's partner (soon fiance, perhaps), and he's yours; he'll always be there for you to lean on, just like you've been there to comfort him and bring him out of his shell.

It doesn't matter what you're going through, or how things on the outside are. If Nevada as you both knew it was going to end without him, he might just let it, as long as you'd be safe and well. If this means letting go of his usually-busy schedule to take care of the one he loves when they lose their job (and for their disabilities, which he'll still remain angry at no matter how much time passes), then it's something he'll go along with happily. In 2BDamned's eyes, you deserve far more than he can give you, so the only logical thing he can do is give you all that he is with the hopes that it's enough. This is just an incredibly small instance of him showing this immense love he has for you (one that's returned tenfold).

He hopes to make you as happy as you make him, and if the warm, affectionate looks you share, with soft smiles and hands intertwined, mean anything, then he does. And that is enough for him.

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 1: A Fiñata Full of Death Bugs

~The Man Cave~

So, the secret was out. Jasper knew about Henry being Kid Danger and reluctantly, Ray had agreed to take the kid under his wing as yet another helper in his store and secret hideout. Honestly, he needed to stop taking children into his employment, the place was starting to be so crowded. 

It also didn't help that Jasper was the latest addition. He was a sweet boy, who'd never hurt a fly, but he was clumsy, a blabbermouth and let's face it, a bit annoying and weird at times. Henry wasn't worried and neither was (y/n), they knew he'd be fine, a little excitable at first, but fine. However, the same couldn't be said for Ray, who was frantically pacing a groove into the Man Cave's floor the next morning.

"I don't know about this, man, I dunno." He panicked, making Henry and (y/n) roll their eyes at him as they watched him from the couch. The young woman was still in her pyjamas, having wanted to stay comfy for the first part of Saturday and was happily munching her cereal as Ray worked himself up over the Jasper predicament.

"Come on, it's gonna be great," Henry told him, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Yeah, everything's gonna be fine." (y/n) shrugged, seeing that Ray was in one of his drama-queen fits again. If he got out of hand, she'd be the one to say some soothing words and cuddle him until he smiled again, but for now, it was best to just ride the wave.

"Oh, that's exactly what you said when you talked me into eating one of those women's energy bars. Then I couldn't stop reading books about princesses!" The large man pouted, not liking how Henry and (y/n) smirked at the memory. It was pretty funny to see such a muscly guy reading about Princess Sugarplum and her rainbow unicorn magic land. 

"Dude, I've known Jasper my whole life." The boy told him, but it didn't calm his boss down.

"That does not mean he's qualified to have a job here!" Ray pointed out, thinking that you needed special skills and references or some shit to work for him. 

"Ray, you hired me when I was twenty. I didn't exactly have qualifications, apart from my degree. Literally, no life experience." (y/n) gave him her annoyed face and he backed off. He hated and loved when she was right.

"Dah!" He groaned, not liking how his morning was going. Maybe Charlotte's enthusiasm could cheer him up. 

"Happy Saturday morning!" She smiled at her friends after coming down the tube with a grin on her face. Well, she was certainly full of beans.

"Yo." Henry returned her smile, glad to see that Ray was the only one freaking out about having Jasper around now. 

"Hey, Char." (y/n) greeted warmly as she scooped the last of her cereal from the milk in her bowl. She'd have to get dressed soon, but she could wait a little longer.

"Maybe you're happy," Ray grumbled, walking past the young girl to lean on the couch with his back turned on his friends. He was such a child sometimes.

"Char, will you tell Ray that Jasper working at Junk-N-Stuff isn't gonna be a problem?" Henry asked his friend, who usually was another voice of reason around the Man. Cave, but it seemed like she was sceptical of Jasper's abilities to stay calm and collected too.

"I can't tell lies before breakfast." She shrugged and sauntered over to the auto-snacker so she could get some food. Ray was glad that someone was seeing sense, but Henry was about to ruin his mood again.

"Here ya go." The boy said and held out a candy bar for Ray to eat.

"What's this?" He asked, reading the scientific nonsense printed on the packaging. Something about protein or micronutrients and he was so busy deciphering the mumbo-jumbo, he didn't see (y/n) snickering as she slurped the honeyed milk left from her breakfast. 

"Lady bar." Henry deadpanned and milk erupted from (y/n)'s mouth as Ray shrieked and threw it away in terror. He looked at her with an expression of playful betrayal as she dabbed the milk away from around her mouth and shared a smirk with Henry. She was so beautiful like this; no makeup, no one to please, just her as natural as she could be, laughing and joking around with his beloved sidekick. It managed to melt some of his apprehension away as he admired the delightfully innocent scene.

"Scrambled eggs," Charlotte instructed the auto-snacker, wanting to get some food into her growling belly.

"Ew, I can't believe you like those." (y/n) grumbled to the girl as she overheard her order. She much preferred her cereal to start her day, probably because it didn't smell gross like scrambled eggs.

"Oh, he's here." Henry's announcement drew everyone's focus away from Charlotte's eggs for a moment and they all looked at the supercomputer. The monitor showed that Jasper was waiting outside Junk-N-Stuff's door and Ray groaned loudly. As (y/n) snuggled into his side last night (insomnia had put her there, would you believe it), he had been praying for Jasper to suddenly change his mind or magically forget about Henry being his sidekick, but his wishes hadn't come true. 

"Hey, what's up?" Henry pressed the button that connected the computer's microphone to the speaker outside the store and Jasper smiled brightly. Ray frowned at the sight of the boy and (y/n) came over from her cosy spot on the couch to see what all the fuss was about. 

"Hey! Jasper Dunlop, here to see Captain Man and Kid Danger!" Jasper saluted his new boss, who blanched at his loud tone and quickly cut the link before the whole neighbourhood heard his yapping.

"Shhhhh!" Henry tried to quieten him down, but it was too late; Ray's feathers were ruffled.

"Did ya hear that? He's gonna blab all our secrets to the whole world!" He squeaked at Henry and (y/n), both of whom had to admit that Jasper had messed up there, but he'd only been at work for three seconds, they had to give him a chance.

"No, not after we show him our video," Henry said calmly, taking (y/n)'s advice that to deal with an overreacting Ray, you had to be the calm one. Henry didn't have her feminine qualities to help him win over Ray, but he could definitely be cool-headed.

"It's probably just first day nerves and excitement coming through. Give him a chance, Raymond." (y/n) stepped forward and loving rubbed her palms against his chest in a soothing manner, which was her special technique to get him to let go of his anger. It had taken a few years to suss out, but it was a good method and one that Ray enjoyed more than he let on.

"Fine. Just get him down here, get him down here." Ray caved and sent Henry off to collect Jasper from the store so he could show him the way into the Man Cave. 

"Hey, I think something's wrong with the auto-snacker," Charlotte commented to the adults as Henry disappeared into the elevator. 

"Oh, god, not again. What's the problem?" (y/n) asked as Ray grumbled. More problems? Typical, like his day could get any worse. 

"I ordered scrambled eggs and I'm still standin' here, eggless," Charlotte told her, but Ray wasn't up for solving anyone else's issues, just his own.

"Well, I'm stressed out! I need my wireless headphones." He replied and turned around to grab them so he could block out the world and all the annoying teenage boys it brought into his home.

"What about the...scrambled eggs! Eggs-o-day scramble-dee-oh-so!" Charlotte gave up trying to get help from Ray and thumped the machine for her food. Geez, she was starving and she just wanted one plate of eggs. Was that too much to ask?

"Mashed potatoes." The automated voice returned, making Charlotte frown.

"What did I say that sounded anything like mashed potatoes? (y/n), help meeee!" She whined and turned to the young woman for assistance. She knew about electronics and circuit board stuff, maybe she could get her some eggs.

"Ray, can you come help---ah!" She was taken by surprise as her best friend grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. She fell into his crossed-legged lap and instinctively snuggled against him as he caged her in and refused to let go.

"I'm sorry, I need to listen to my meditation music and hug my best friend and calm down my inner parts." Ray panted in hyperventilation and swiftly shoved his headphones over his ears and held (y/n) to his chest. 

"Aw, poor baby." (y/n)'s bottom lip quivered at how worried he looked and immediately set about doing everything she could to soothe his nerves. She had no idea he was this stressed and she stroked small patterns onto his skin with her pointer finger. He felt his anxiety smooth out as he let the soft music and the sensation of having the essence of his girl carry him off to his happy place.

"Ugh, useless...Ooh, here we go. " Charlotte groaned when she saw them shut out the world just so they could get some cuddle time in. No matter, she could figure this out herself and things were going well as the snack machine's hatch opened.

"Sweet girl, oh my god, I'm freaking out," Ray mumbled in a chanting voice as he pressed his lips to her head, hoping the fruity, familiar scent of her shampoo would ground him.

"Just relax, I'm here." She whispered and brushed her hand over his eyes so they would flutter shut. She just needed him to stay calm, so she ran her fingers through his floppy brown hair in an attempt to do so.

"All right, where are my scrambled eggs?" Charlotte pondered and foolishly stuck her head in the machine to see if she could yank them out. As expected, it didn't go to plan.

"Om--maha is not the capital of Nebraska." Ray carried on chanting, silently loving the way his girl was fawning over him. He always had her to help him through the bad times and now, his spine was tingling from the way fingers ignited his skin and her warm breath tingled against his neck.

"Get me out of here!" Neither of them saw how Charlotte had been sucked into the auto-snacker as her screams for help were drowned out by Ray's music and (y/n) had dozed off when the warmth of Ray's body seeped through her thin pyjamas and lulled her to sleep. 

"Ommm...Masaki is when you let your sushi chef choose your sushi for you." Ray continued to say random facts to himself as he cradled the young woman in his arms and the sound of his voice blocked out Charlotte's shouting. He was more than happy to let her sleep in his arms and to see her peaceful face was the most soothing thing she could've given him.

~Meanwhile, in Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry had welcomed Jasper into the store and the boy was full of enthusiasm for his first day working as Captain Man's secret assistant. This was his dream come true and he was adamant that he was gonna make a good start. 

"Why are you wearing a tie?" Henry asked as he noticed Jasper's unusually formal outfit. All he would be doing was serving customers in a junk store, he didn't need to look so fancy.

"Oh, 'cause it's my first day at work and I wanna make a good impression." The curly-haired boy explained, but Henry knew that he didn't need to put in so much effort. Ray was a stickler for formality, in fact, he kinda loved being goofy.

"Take off the tie," Henry instructed him and Jasper stroked the material sadly. He thought it looked rather dashing. Still, he followed after Henry and the two friends walked into the back together so they could take the elevator.

"Whoa, the back room." Jasper gasped at the unfamiliar territory, even though it wasn't that cool. It was just another front full of junk that kept the real wonder down below a secret.

"Uh-huh." Henry just nodded and stepped into the elevator, wanting to see the real surprise on Jasper's face when he saw the Man Cave.

"Now, uh...don't get scared." He warned him as he pressed the button. Everyone's first trip in that damn elevator was hell and it was certain that it would leave Jasper shaken.

"Dude, this ain't my first elevator ride." He shrugged, thinking that it couldn't be that bad. Oh, how wrong he was. As soon as the bottom was released from Henry's finger, the elevator dropped, making Jasper scream in terror as he felt his body go weightless. Henry, on the other hand, was perfectly cool and collected as he had had nearly two years to get used to the roughness of the trip down. They landed with a bump and the door slid open to reveal that Jasper was clutching Henry's leg for dear life. 

"Oh." He realised that his brush with death was over and he quickly got to his feet before anyone else saw how scared he had been.

"Okay, I got him," Henry told Ray, who had gotten over his anxiety enough to release (y/n) from his arms and let her go get dressed. He was waiting for her to get back and in the meantime, was bringing the floating TV down from the ceiling. 

"Hey, boss!" Jasper smiled brightly, feeling so proud that he was standing in the actual, real-life Man Cave and was reporting for duty to the Captain Man. 

"Good morning, Jasper," Ray replied in a strained voice. God, his cheeriness was annoying. 

"Guess what I'm wearing." The boy said happily, not realising that he was grinding down Ray's gears.

"A goofy tie?" The large man guessed, praying that his girl would hurry up and talk to the kid so he didn't have to. She was so much better at being nice to everyone than he was and it was probably why they fit so well together.

"No, what I'm wearing down here." Jasper pointed to his pants and everyone could guess what he was referring to.

"Okay." Henry cringed, wishing that Jasper could have said anything but that, especially to Ray and on his first day.

"Son, I uh...don't wanna know--" Ray tried to say that he didn't want to see anything like that from Jasper, but it was too late.

"Captain Manderpants!" Oh god. The sight of Jasper's underwear was too much for Ray and the knowledge that the kid was walking around with his face in his...made it even worse. 

"Henry?" He squeaked at his sidekick and now, he was thankful that (y/n) was still getting dressed. This wasn't something a sweet, innocent lady needed to see.

"Put your underwear back in your pants, you're making him uncomfortable." Henry hissed at Jasper in a mortified tone and he quickly rearranged his clothing as Ray pretended to text. Jesus, someone needed to break the tension and that someone was on hand to do it.

"Hey! Oh...hello, Jasper, nice to see you survived the elevator ride." A fully-dressed (y/n) smiled as she descended the stairs from the sprocket and gave her new friend a warm and inviting smile. If anyone could make him feel welcome, it was her.

"Yeah, thank you, Miss Danger," Jasper replied politely, not wanting to upset anyone else. 

"Oh, (y/n)'s fine, you don't have to be so fancy with me. And might I add that you're wearing a devastatingly handsome tie." She joked when she saw the hotdog pattern and her friendliness put the teen at ease. Her mere presence took the edge off the awkwardness for Ray too.

"Uh, where'd Charlotte go?" Henry asked suddenly, looking around for his other friend who had mysteriously disappeared.

"I dunno, probably somewhere." Ray shrugged, still feeling a little off at having a new, unwanted face in his Man Cave. 

"She was around here earlier, maybe she went to the bathroom." (y/n) offered, making sure to keep her manner pleasant since Ray was being so moody around Jasper. She didn't think the boy was so bad, sure, he was a bit silly and odd, but she was certain that he'd grow to be a valuable member of their team. Little did anyone know that poor Charlotte was still kicking and screaming inside the auto-snacker.

"Now, Jasper..." Ray started, but Jasper's exuberance got the better of him.

"Yes, Captain?!" He asked excitedly and gave a salute, which really pissed off Ray.

"First, never do that." The large man told him harshly, making the boy immediately drop his arm. Geez, Ray could be scary when he wanted to be.

"I don't know, I still kind of like the saluting." (y/n) commented, not afraid of Ray and his temper. Well, she was a bit, but she wouldn't let his childish anger walk all over her.

"Secondly, if you're gonna work upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff, the most important thing to remember is to never reveal my identity or Henry's or (y/n)'s," Ray stated firmly, brushing over (y/n)'s silly comment. To see her so formal around him would be too unnatural for him, even if it was a joke and he just wanted her to be herself around him.

"I get it," Jasper confirmed, understanding that secrecy was their survival. He would never let his friends get hurt and he knew that Captain Man could count on him to keep his identity safe.

"You will get it," Ray replied huskily, confusing the woman and teen on either side of him. 

"Just show him the damn video." (y/n) rolled her eyes at his dramatics and Ray pressed the play button on his remote.

"Never tell the secret. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger. If you are watching this video, that means you know their true, secret identities, Ray Manchester, Henry Hart and (y/n) (y/l/n)." The video started and showed a photo of Ray and Henry smiling together as the large man held a beaming (y/n) in his arms. It was cute and one of their best ones together as a crime-fighting trio.

"I love that pic of us," Ray smirked at Henry, knowing that he and his sidekick looked awesome.

"Yeah, we look good." Henry nodded, thinking the same, although he was certain that he'd never drool over (y/n) the way Ray was now.

"Big-heads." The young woman shook her head at their huge egos and didn't see the way Ray was admiring her features on the screen, nor did she see how he took the time to gaze at her in real life. A goddess amongst mere mortals. 

"Help!" Charlotte yelled from inside the auto-snacker, but they were all too focused on the video, so her shouting fell on deaf ears. 

"Revealing the secret could have terrible consequences. Such as tragedy, the end of the earth as we know it and loss of bladder control. And now a personal warning to you from Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger." It was a crappy video and a bit too dramatic, but it got the message across, even if (y/n) hated seeing herself onscreen.

"Never reveal the secret. Or this could happen to you. Or worse, punk!" The three superheroes said in turn, trying to sound cool, but Henry's outstretched hand covered his face and when Ray tried to move it, it broke the cool façade.

"Hey, friend, guess what? Captain Man is really Ray Manchester and his best friend, (y/n) (y/l/n), she's Miss Danger. And Kid Danger, he's a boy named Henry Hart. Ain't that a juicy secret?" Yeah, it was a weird video. Anything that includes a talking and giggling watermelon, is weird.

"Don't do it." The video ended with Henry, Ray and (y/n) frowning at the camera as they shook their heads and fingers solemnly. If that didn't get the message into Jasper's head, nothing would.

"Any questions?" Henry asked his best friend, who, being an odd boy, had a peculiar one.

"How'd you get that watermelon to talk?" He gasped in amazement, making Ray look at Henry with a pissed off face. This was what Henry wanted to bring into his Man Cave? God help him.

"We have them specially trained." (y/n) replied sarcastically and was surprised when Jasper took her words literally. She could already guess what it was going to be like working with him.

"Help! Help me!" Charlotte yelled from the auto-snacker, where she had managed to get her hand out of the hand.

"What was---Charlotte!" Henry exclaimed when he saw her hand clawing for freedom. The four of them ran over to the machine, but they had no idea how to get her out.

"I'm uncomfortable!" The girl shouted. It was dark and extremely warm in the auto-snack and not somewhere you wanted to stick your whole body into.

"Help me get her out of here!" Henry told Ray and the large man tried to use his superior muscle to prise open the door.

"Charlotte, sweetie, you're not meant to get into the machine just for some eggs!" (y/n) shouted back to the girl, who wasn't up for taking any criticism at that moment. Suddenly, the alarm blared in the Man Cave and the surprise of it made Henry and Ray let go of Charlotte's free arm. Well, that was all her progress undone.

"Uh-oh." Ray aid as he heard it and (y/n) was the first to rush to the computer.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked in confusion as everyone rushed away from Charlotte's problem and onto another one. He just went along with it, thinking that Captain Man probably knew best.

"Ah, geez. Something's going down at the airport." (y/n) groaned as the brief summary of the emergency flashed up onscreen.

"Ooh, is a flight delayed?" The curly-haired boy questioned, even though that wasn't a superhero's area of expertise. Bad guys and end of the world situations, yes, lost baggage and bad food, no.

"No!" Henry told him as Ray bit his tongue. If he said anything bad, it'd just upset his girl and he didn't want that.

"Not really in our job description, curly." (y/n) joked to Jasper, deciding that he should have a nickname to help him fit in. 

"Come on, kid," Ray told Henry and they both moved off to the side of the room as (y/n) kept Jasper back.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked, wondering what all the commotion was about. He was so excited to see Captain Man and Kid Danger, he could barely contain his burning questions.

"We've got a crime to thwart..." Ray started, trying to puff out his chest and appear all cool so (y/n) might look at him would adoring eyes. She did that anyway, always, he just never noticed.

"...At the Swellview Airport." Henry finished, smirking at how good he and his boss sounded.

"Whoa, do you guys plan those rhymes?" Jasper asked as (y/n) giggled. Only Jasper could take away a superhero's confidence just like that.

"Uh, no, no."

"No, they're super organic." Ray and Henry frowned, eager to just get off and go help whoever needed assistance at the airport.

"Aren't you taking Miss Danger with you?" Jasper asked yet another question, but at least it was on a topic Ray was more than happy to talk about.

"Nah, I'll sit this one out." (y/n) smiled at the boy as Ray pouted. He liked it when she came with him and fought the bad guys, it was like they were getting extra time together.

"You sure?" Henry asked, seeing the way Ray was getting all whiny and grumpy from her staying behind. Ugh, that meant he'd be pining all day until they got back.

"Yeah, go save the world without me, one flight at a time." She smiled and Ray begrudgingly accepted that she didn't always want to go out for every emergency. It wasn't a huge job, so three crime fighters seemed a little excessive and there was work to be done in the Man Cave.

"Wait, what about Charlotte?" Jasper asked, but Ray and Henry were already in the middle of blowing their bubbles, so any more questions would have to wait. The boy grinned in wonder as he watched them transform together for the first time and before they set off, Captain Man and Kid Danger ran over to the auto-snacker, where (y/n) had wandered over to check on Charlotte.

"Hey, Charlotte, how's it going in there?" Ray asked her like it was a nice getaway vacation or something. 

"It's going bad! Get me out of this thing!" She yelled back, feeling all sticky and claustrophobic from the hot, tight space she found herself trapped in.

"We can't we got an emergency," Ray told her, even though his best friend was determined to get her out whilst they were gone.

"I'm an emergency!" Charlotte whimpered back, making Ray feel a teensy bit guilty that he wasn't going to stick around and help.

"Can you breathe okay?" Henry asked, wanting to know how bad the conditions were for his friend.

"She's been in there for like two hours, if she couldn't breathe, she'd be dead." (y/n) pointed out and then Charlotte snapped back with some incoherent mumbling.

"Okay, what'd she say?" Henry asked the two adults who were none the wiser.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, I'm good, you guys go do what you gotta do"," Ray lied, making (y/n) roll her eyes at him. 

"You two, just go. I'll try and get the machine to spit her out." (y/n) told them and they nodded. She had no idea how she was gonna do it without some expert knowledge, but hey, she'd give it a go.

"Okay, Char. Schwoz will be back in two to three hours to help (y/n)." Henry told his friend as the young woman gave Ray a quick hug goodbye and a peck on the cheek. 'For luck', she kept telling herself like she wasn't just doing it because she loved to feel his skin under her lips.

"Two to three hours?!" Charlotte gasped, but Ray and Henry had already run off to the tubes.

"Wait! What am I supposed to do while you guys are out fighting crime?" Jasper asked the heroes as they slapped their belts and the tubes came down. 

"Just go up to Junk-N-Stuff and watch the store," Henry told him and Ray agreed. That was basically all Jasper had to do for a pretty good salary.

"But I have some questions about my job." The boy whined and Ray had the perfect solution.

"(y/n) can answer all your questions right after we say up the tube." The large man told the boy, making his best friends eye widen at how sneaky he was.

"Raymond Manchester, you get back here or--" She tried to run forward and give him a slap on the arm for leaving all of Jasper's questions to her, but it was too late.

"Up the tube!" They shouted and within seconds, they were gone, leaving (y/n) alone with Jasper and his book full of questions.

"Okay, um...when a customer comes into the store, am I supposed to tell them to leave or act normal?" He asked the woman, who smiled politely and sat down on the couch with him. At least they were starting off easy.

"Just act normal. Sell them whatever they want, but if they start getting weird or try to get in the back, press the emergency alarm behind the counter." She answered, glad that he was asking questions that she knew about.

"Okay...what do I do if a criminal comes into the store and threatens me?" He asked next.

"Run like hell and alert us down here that you're in trouble. We'll come and help you." She smiled, but it got a little tight as another question was asked.

"Okay..." This could take a while. Charlotte better sit tight.

~3 hours later~

"KEEP PULLING, SCHWOZ!" (y/n) yelled to the genius as they fought to get Charlotte out of the auto-snacker. He'd finally returned after hours of waiting and now, he was helping the young woman get her out. She'd tried everything, yanking, pulling, being nice to the machine, but nothing had worked, so it was nice to have an extra pair of hands around. 

"I've got the head!" He replied as he pulled from the sides of Charlotte's head whilst (y/n) kept the door from closing. They were grunting and straining from the effort when Ray and Henry came down the tube after their mission. 

"Hiya!" (y/n) smiled at them breathily as she used all of her strength to keep the hatch from closing.

"Ooh, what a pretty fish you have." Schwoz turned around and saw that his boss had a multi-coloured, cardboard and tissue paper fish thing in his hands.

"You're squeezing my head too hard!" Charlotte whined as she managed to her arms out. Just a little more and she'd be free.

"Well, what do you want us to do?" Schwoz asked her sternly, thinking that they were doing their best to help her and all she was doing was complaining.

"Let go!" The teen directed him, not realising what the implications of that action would be.

"Kay-kay." Schwoz smiled, more than happy to give his aching arms a rest from all the pulling.

"Wait, no, no, no! Schwoz!" (y/n) groaned as the girl was released back into the machine, undoing all of their hard work. Well, there was no point in holding the door open now.

"Uh, did Charlotte just get sucked into--" Henry started, but the young woman was too agitated to hear it all out loud.

"Yes. Yes, she did, meaning that the last hour of us busting our asses to get her out has been for nothing. Right, Schwoz?" The young woman hissed and looked directly at Schwoz, who wasn't that worried about the problem or her anger.

"Relax, I'll get her out in a minute." Schwoz brushed her off, which made her fold her arms and sulk at his complacent attitude.

"What's that?" She asked her best friend, strolling over to him in hopes that he'd give her a hug and make her feel better.

"This thing is a fiñata." Ray smiled at her, but she eyed the "fiñata" suspiciously when she heard a buzzing noise come from inside it.

"Yeah, see, it's like a piñata, but, like, fish-themed," Henry explained, making Schwoz roll his eyes at how they were infantilising him.

"I know what a fiñata is." He said in an obvious tone.

"Um, Ray, why is your fiñata buzzing?" (y/n) asked as she poked one of the fish's fins, which probably wasn't a good idea. Ray manoeuvred it out of her reach and she got the message that it was dangerous in some way. 

"Well, I bet you didn't know that this fiñata is filled with live Zom-bees." He told Schwoz and shook the thing at the little guy, making him and (y/n) step back and hide behind the couch.

"Ayee!" Schwoz cowered as (y/n) covered her ears and glared at her best friend. That was a mean trick.

"Raymond, you can't bring Zom-bees into the Man Cave. If the fiñata breaks, they'll fly into our ears and eat our brains and y'know, I'm quite fond of mine!" The young woman pointed out and used her cutest eyes to make Ray get on her side. 

"Well, you'd be okay 'cause your super regeneration would repair your damaged brain cells, but we'd all die!" Schwoz corrected her, which made (y/n) feel worse. Why did she have to be the survivor of the Zom-bee attack and see all her friends get their brains munched on?

"We know," Ray told the genius and gave (y/n) his most calming smile. He didn't want her to be afraid.

"Yeah, so, how do we get rid of it?" Henry asked his boss, feeling just as nervous as (y/n) and Schwoz around the Zom-bee-filled thing.

"Uh, take it upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff. I'll call animal control and have 'em come pick up that fiñata of death." The superhero replied and gave the colourful fish a dark look. He wanted that thing gone before it freaked his girl out even more. 

"Okay, I'll bring it upstairs." Henry nodded, being careful not to break the fragile casing. He'd be the first one to have his brain eaten if they escaped and he definitely didn't fancy that.

"Don't forget to change your clothes." (y/n) reminded him, seeing that Henry was headed straight for Junk-N-Stuff as Kid Danger. That would be a hard one to explain if a customer saw him.

"Oh, yeah," Henry responded and tried to get his tube out whilst balancing the fiñata under his arm, which didn't go well. He stumbled and nearly dropped the thing, spooking the adults as it nearly split open.

"Hey, hey!" Ray gasped as (y/n) squeaked and hid her face in his chest, making his arms instinctively curl around her body to protect her.

"Geez, Henry!" Schwoz breathed out as the fiñata didn't break and the boy tucked it carefully under his arm again. 

"Be careful with that thing!" (y/n) whimpered against the red and blue material of Ray's tunic, her best friend running his hand up and down her back to calm her down.

"Guys, chill out, I'm not gonna drop it," Henry reassured them, not seeing why they were getting so worked up about everything.

"Do you have it?" Ray asked, just wanting to make sure he could manage.

"Yeah." Henry nodded, feeling like they were being a little too cautious. Didn't they trust him?

"Are you good?" (y/n) asked, also feeling a bit nervous at the thought of giving a load of death bees to a teenager to look after. 

"It's fine." He sighed, pressing the elevator button so he could just leave them to their worrying.

"Are you good?" Ray reiterated, not liking how his girl was still clutching him in fear. He wanted to ensure that Henry knew what he was doing.

"Ray...it's fine. Just...hug (y/n), she looks scared." The boy calmly told his boss and smirked when the large man gave him a grumpy look. It was like Henry wanted the woman to see that he was madly in love with her, what a dick.

"Okay." Ray let it go and returned to petting (y/n)'s hair, only Henry was a bit clumsy and on his way into the elevator, he nearly dropped the fiñata again, making the adults look at him with fear as he struggled to catch it before it hit the floor.

"AHHH, THEY'RE COMING TO GET US!" (y/n) screamed and jumped so her legs could wrap around Ray's waist like a koala, clinging to him tightly as she covered his ears. She didn't want to be left alone, so she'd sooner protect his brain than hers.

"See what you've done?" Ray deadpanned to Henry as he supported the girl he was now carrying. The boy just hit the button and the elevator door slid closed, leaving the man to reassure his girl into letting go, not that he was complaining about how she had chosen him to protect her.

"Come on, sweet girl, it's okay, there's no Zom-bees." He cooed at her and rested his hand on his cheek so he could touch the one covering his ears.

"I don't want them to eat your brain." She mumbled, pouting as his eyes met hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt, he was her protector and provider, what would she do without him?

"I'm okay, sweet girl." He chuckled into her hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she smiled bashfully into his neck. What would he do without her?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

"And here's your receipt." Jasper smiled at a customer as he made another sale. 

"Thank you." The woman accepted it graciously and Jasper had to admit that so far, his first day working for Captain Man was going great. 

"And enjoy your vintage waterbed." He said to the customer, who was planning on using it for or...with her cats. Weird. 

"Uh, do you me to help you carry that to your car?" Jasper offered the woman, seeing that the waterbed was too large and heavy for one person to carry easily.

"Please." The woman agreed and they made small talk as they shifted the water-filled bag out of the shop. It probably would be easier to empty the bed before moving it, but no one thought about that.

"Hey, Jasper?...Yo, Jasp?"Henry yelled as he walked out of the elevator and looked around the front of the store for his friend. He had no idea that Jasper had stepped out to help the crazy cat-lady with her waterbed and he was about to make a massive mistake. Henry's whiz watch began to beep and he plonked the fiñata down on the counter.

"Hey, what's up?" He greeted Ray as he checked to see if any customers were coming.

"Schwoz, (y/n) and I are trying to pull Charlotte out of the auto-snacker and we need another pair of hands," Ray grumbled as he glanced at his friends who were still trying to get the girl out of the damn machine. Why it wouldn't spit her out was anyone's guess.

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec." Henry nodded and snapped the watch closed. There was never a dull moment with his job.

"You know I flaunt ya, 'cuz girl I really want ya. And you're looking nice, got me cooler than a bag of ice, now freeze, freeze, freeze." He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the elevator. Five Fingaz To The Face had been in his head all day and it seemed like it was in Jasper's too.

"Drop it fast and move it real slow, oh! What? You smell so fruity, I'm pirate and you're my booty, argh!" Jasper sang, shaking his butt as Piper and her friend came into the store. Well, this was embarrassing.

"Oh my god, are you rapping?" Piper cringed as she saw the older boy, who didn't see anything wrong with a little boogie in the workplace.

"Yeah." He confirmed, thinking his moves were pretty sweet.

"Well, don't." She snapped. God, it was so embarrassing to see her brother's dopey best friend dance and rap in front of her friend.

"Hey, I work here now, so you have to be nice to me," Jasper told the little girl, but she didn't care. She was only nice to a few select people and Jasper wasn't one of them.

"No, I'm here as the customer, so you have to be. nice to me...THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled in Jasper's face when he tried to disagree and he quickly fell into line. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of Piper and her fury.

"Hey, we're gonna be late." Piper's friend said as she looked up from her phone for the first time since she walked into the store.

"Late for what?" Jasper asked as he took in their outfits. Both girls were dressed to the nines in some really cute clothes and he wondered where they were going.

"A birthday party for our friend. So help us pick out a present, would ya?" Piper instructed him, peering around the junk on the shelves. There had to be something in this crappy store that would suit her friend.

"Does she like dogs?" Jasper asked, having something in mind, even though it wasn't remotely apt for an eleven-year-old girl.

"Yeah." Piper's friend said and Jasper walked over to a freaky skeleton on display.

"This is a dog skeleton. Woof, woof, woof...we'll keep looking." The curly-haired boy quickly discarded the creepy thing when he saw Piper's displeased stare. Maybe not.

"Hey, is this a fiñata?" The other girl said, picking up the deadly thing that Henry should've put somewhere safer. Obviously, someone would think it was just another piece of junk on sale and Jasper was none the wiser to its true, dark nature.

"Oooh, cool, how much for the fiñata?" Piper asked Jasper, thinking that it would be the perfect addition to her friend's party. 

"Lemme check," Jasper said and started to roughly turn the fish around in his hands so he could look for the price tag. If he knew what was inside it, there was no way he'd be shaking it so much.

"We don't care if it's a boy or a girl." Piper sassed as she watched Jasper shuffle the fish around.

"I'm checking for a price tag! I don't see one anywhere." He said, scouring the paper-covered fish for anything that could tell him the asking price. Of course, he wouldn't find one, it should be locked up, not sold to a child.

"Good, it's free then, thanks." Piper snatched the fiñata from Jasper's hands and made a break for the exit before he could stop them.

"The customer is always right!" She yelled at him when he tried to call after them, silencing Jasper as his second sale of the day made off without paying. That fiñata was about to cause him a load more trouble too.

~The Man Cave~

"Pull!" Ray yelled to his three friends as they tightly clutched Charlotte's ankle and tried to yank her from the auto-snack. It just wouldn't let her go.

"She's still stuck! Let her go, you piece of shit!" (y/n) growled and thumbed the hatch with her fist as Charlotte screamed. No matter how hard they pulled, Schwoz's invention kept her prisoner and it sucked her deep into itself, leaving her friends stumped.

"Well, how are we gonna get her outta there?" Ray asked as they panted. Physical exertion was futile.

"Hey, how about this?" Henry suddenly had a bright idea and smacked his palm against the screen.

"Charlotte." He ordered like he was ordering some fries or a milkshake.

"Charlotte." The auto-snacker confirmed and the young girl came flying out the hatch before bellyflopping onto the floor. 

"It worked! Nice one, Hen." (y/n) high-fived Henry as they all celebrated their success. Well, that was easier than they had thought. 

"You okay?" Henry asked his friend as she stood up and dusted herself off. Man, that was an ordeal and she was still starving.

"No, I am not okay! And I still never got my scrambled eggs." She said, walking over to the machine and bending down to look through the window of the machine. This time, however, it seemed to understand her order and a load of hot, steaming scrambled eggs were fired at her face.

"You, uh, you got something..." Ray pointed to her cheek as bits of egg plopped onto the floor.

"That's why I order cereal. Eggs are just bad news." (y/n) quipped, thinking it was pretty funny to see Charlotte's unimpressed face covered in the mess. However, her giggling was soon interrupted when the computer started to beep.

"That's Jasper, upstairs." Henry recognised the special beeping and realised that it was the signal from Junk-N-Stuff.

"Oh god, I told him to press it when there was an emergency." (y/n) panicked, thinking that he was being held at gunpoint or the store was on fire or some other disaster. 

"Hey, Jasper, what's up?" Henry opened the link and saw his friend on the monitor.

"There's two guys here from animal control, asking about some Zom-bees?" He told Henry as Ray and (y/n) wandered over. Well, at least he was using the line correctly, it was better to ask and make sure he was doing the right thing than just assume.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." Henry nodded and remembered that he'd left the dangerous insects upstairs, unattended and with a boy who knew nothing about them.

"Yeah, yeah, Jasper, the Zom-bees are inside the purple fiñata," Ray told him, thinking that the matter would be swiftly dealt with, but things were about to get complicated.

"Oh, I sold the fiñata." He told them, making Henry and (y/n) choke on their own saliva as Ray took a minute to process his words.

"Great, then just give it to the guys--you sold the fiñata?!" Ray exclaimed in horror as Jasper remained oblivious to the cock-up he'd made.

"Yeah, and a waterbed." He smiled happily, thinking that his sales so far were good, even though one of them hadn't been paid for.

"Shit on it, wh-who'd you sell it to?" (y/n) asked frantically as she rested her hand on Ray's bicep and looked up at him in worry.

"Piper," Jasper replied, making Henry gasp. His sister? Seriously? Ray ended the call prematurely and peered at his friends with nervous eyes.

"Do you realise what'll happen if those Zom-bees get outta that fiñata?" He questioned the boy, who was seriously freaking out. He couldn't have his sister die from a bee eating her brain!

"Okay, okay, let's not panic about this. I'm sure that Piper just took it home and put it in her bedroom or something." (y/n) told the boy calmly as she theorised that Piper probably wanted it as a decoration. Little did she know that it was currently at a pre-teen's birthday party, being whacked viciously by a load of children looking for candy. They needed to get Jasper with them immediately.

~10 minutes later~

As soon as Jasper had closed up the store and stepped into the Man Cave Henry was all over him, interrogating him about the sale of a ticking time bomb to Piper. There was only a matter of time until the fiñata was smashed open and a load of people were killed.

"How could you give my little sister a fiñata full of death bugs?" The boy asked his friend sternly as Ray paced behind him, just as angry. (y/n) didn't think Jasper was to blame that much, he was just doing his job as they had told him. In the middle of all of this bickering, Charlotte had found a towel and was wiping the egg mush from her face as the argument went on and on.

"Oh, come on! It's not Jasper's fault!" The young woman defended the boy, wanting to be the one who was on his side since everyone else seemed so unfairly angry with him.

"I didn't know there were bugs in it!" Jasper stressed, glad that (y/n) was being so kind to him. He'd never endanger Piper deliberately, especially on his first day at work.

"Well, there are! There's at least fifty Zom-bees inside that fiñata!" Ray hissed, making the poor kid feel worse. He really didn't mean any harm. 

"Okay, yelling at Jasper isn't gonna help anything." Charlotte stepped in too, joining (y/n) in defending Jasper.

"Thank you." He said. He was starting to get the picture that they were the reasonable ones around these parts.

"Do you realise how dangerous those bees are?" Ray looked at the two teens as Henry walked around with his hands on his head. 

"Ya! They fly into your head, through your ears, and then they feed upon your brain!" Schwoz showed them the information on his PearPad and tried to sound all dramatic. He really knew how to stir the pot and make things worse.

"You should not have worn that tie," Charlotte mentioned to Jasper, as she noticed the hotdog pattern on it. Was (y/n) the only one who liked it?

"Okay, just...did my sister say where she was going anywhere?" Henry asked Jasper, who bit his lip as he recalled every word Piper had said to him. There was a lot of shouting from her, but also...

"Uh...yeah! Some friend of hers' birthday party." Jasper remembered and it triggered Henry's memory about something his sister had been banging on about for weeks.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Uh...Gabby Birch." Henry said the name as Ray and (y/n) dashed over so they could hear everything.

"Who's Gabby Birch?" Ray asked, too panicky to put two and two together.

"Her friend, duh!" (y/n) said as she and Henry reached for their gum tubes. That's right, she had her own tube now, all hers, no one else's and it made her feel like one of the team.

"Come on, let's blow and go," Henry told Ray, who remained still. Why wasn't he snapping into action like them?

"No, are you insane?" He asked them halting their movements before they could pop a gumball.

"What? We need to go grab that death fish!" (y/n) pointed out, but Ray had a fairly good point for holding back.

"We can't just run in there as Captain Man, Kid Danger and Miss Danger and be like "Hey, kids! We're here at the party because we were worried that some killer bugs might fly into your heads and eat your brains, happy birthday, Gabby!"," Ray rambled and the sidekicks got the message. They certainly didn't want to freak out a load of children and their parents.

"All right, all right, then...we just gotta sneak in, grab the fiñata and get outta there fast." Henry theorised and the adults agreed. It seemed simple enough, right?

"Oh, come on!" Charlotte protested, seeing a million things wrong with what Henry had just said.

"What?" The boy looked at her, thinking that his plan was perfect.

"How are you guys gonna sneak into a birthday party without being seen?" She asked, making a good point. They could just walk in unannounced, they'd get arrested for trespassing or for being creeps.

"We will need a cunning disguise." (y/n) smirked and rubbed her hands, knowing exactly what would get them into the party. Every kid had them when it was their birthday and it was a sure-fire way to be let in, no questions asked. Hopefully.

~Gabby Birch's Birthday Party~

Well, the party was in full swing: there were balloons, food, cake, music, toys and, of course, the fiñata, which was still being sadistically beaten by numerous little girls. Henry, Ray and (y/n) sneaked in and winced when they saw the rough treatment of the cardboard fish. Their disguises weren't bad, (y/n) had cleverly chosen them to be clowns since they always came to kid's birthday parties, even though no child ever wanted one. Sure, they were creepy, but it gave them the perfect way in.

Both males were wearing alarmingly bright, wacky clothes, face paint and wigs that gave them the clown aesthetic and hid who they were. (y/n) looked equally ridiculous, but also kinda cute in a way and she was sure that as long as no one looked too close, they'd be able to grab the fiñata and get out of there.

"Shit, Henry!" (y/n) gasped as nudged Henry as she saw the fiñata taking its beating and the boy quickly started shaking his boss's shoulder.

"Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray!" He panicked, gaining the man's attention fairly quickly as he pointed to the tree where the fish has been strung up.

"What? What?" Ray asked annoyedly, but he was soon gulping like his friends when he saw how the girls were minutes away from breaking the fiñata.

"They're whacking the fiñata!" (y/n) said as Ray gasped, making him put himself in front of her so he'd be the first to be eaten if the Zom-bees escaped. He didn't want his girl to munched on, even if she would be fine, especially since she looked so cute in her little dress. God, it fit her perfectly and he was more than happy to admire her figure.

"I don't get why this stupid fiñata won't break." A girl yelled and her friends began to hit it even harder. This wasn't going to end well.

"Here I found a shovel." Piper came in and was immediately encouraged to beat the fiñata with it. Okay, the superheroes had to act before these kids released the death bugs.

"Dear God, she's using a shovel." Ray cringed as he watched the fish bounce from the shovel to the fiñata sticks and each blow was painful to witness.

"We have to do something." (y/n) hissed in his ear, but before they could, a cheery woman with a drink in her hand addressed them.

"Hello!" She smiled, making the clowns panic. How were they supposed to lie to this mom about being the entertainment at her daughter's party?

"Uhhh...hey."

"Hi, how are you?" Ray and Henry greeted her politely as (y/n) just smiled and waved. This was gonna be fun.

"Oh, I'm Mrs Birch, the birthday girl's mom." The woman introduced herself and shook hands with each clown, all of whom were feeling pretty awkward. They had no idea how to clown around and entertain kids, they just needed to grab the damn fiñata.

"Nice to meet you." (y/n) smiled nervously, but thankfully, Mrs Birch didn't pick up on it.

"Okay, so, which one of you is Burples and which one of you is Schmutz?" She asked, making Henry and Ray both choose the one that sounded better.

"I'm Burples." They said together, not liking the idea of being called Schmutz, but then they both sounded weird.

"I'm Schmutz." They then said together, confusing Mrs Birch and making (y/n) facepalm. This wasn't a good first impression.

"You know, we swap."

"We trade-off." They excused their weirdness and luckily, Mrs Birch took it to be a funny clown joke. 

"You two really are clowns." She laughed, thinking it was a compliment and the annoyed look on the boys' faces made (y/n) giggle too.

"Yes, they are." She confirmed, loving how the woman had called out Ray and Henry's bumbling behaviour, but then, Mrs Birch stopped and thought about how she had one too many clowns in her garden.

"Sorry, I thought we paid for two clowns." She looked at (y/n) who took a moment to think of a believable lie.

"Uh...well, I'm on work experience. Yep, and I'm just gonna be observing these two...being clowns. Free of charge." She punched out nervously, making it up as she went along and the mom seemed to be fine with it, thank god.

"Oh, lovely, what's your clown name?" Mrs Birch asked and again, (y/n) had to think on her feet for something clownish.

"Uhhhh...Phalange. Yeah, I'm Phalange the Clown." She giggled, reverting to her favourite made-up name for every time she went undercover. It was an oldie, but a goodie and it was convincing enough.

"Well, I'll just leave the entertainment up to you guys, then." Mrs Birch smiled and Ray, (y/n) and Henry could let out a sigh of relief as the woman returned to the other parents.

"That'll be great, ma'am, thank you." Ray nodded at her politely as he tried to channel his inner clown. It should be too hard for him, after all, he was a pretty goofy guy.

"Yes, we are professional clowns." Henry tried to sound convincing like he really was a guy who painted his face and wore baggy pants to entertain kids.

"Ain't that the truth." (y/n) added, smirking at the boy as Ray pulled them to the side. They got up to so much mischief, they probably could pass as clowns sometimes.

"Dang it, they're gonna break that thing open any second!" Ray complained as he watch the kids still whacking the fiñata.

"And then snack time for all those Zom-bees and bye-bye brains for everyone here." The young woman freaked out too, looking to her best friend for any ideas.

"Uh, ooh, I got a plan, I got a plan," Henry told them and before he could discuss it with the adults, he stepped towards the children and started to work his inner clown.

"Hey, kids! Hey! Hey kids, over here!" He yelled at them in a funny voice, baffling Ray and (y/n) as the kids looked at the weirdo trying to get their attention.

"What are you doin'?" Ray asked the boy, thinking that he looked and sounded ridiculous, but it was fine. Henry had a plan.

"Shhhhh!" Henry shut him up and returned his focus to the bored expressions of the children. Yeah, no one likes clowns.

"What?" Piper asked, feeling just as annoyed as all her friends at the rude interruption. She was gonna break this fiñata open if it was the last thing she'd do. And if she did, it probably would be.

"You wanna know what's more fun than whackin' a fiñata?" Henry jumped up and down and acted like all the clowns he'd seen at the birthday parties he'd attended over the years.

"Tell us!" The kids demanded, hoping that his suggestion would be worth them stopping their attack.

"Whackin' Burples the Clown!" Henry pointed at Ray with a huge grin on his face as (y/n) and Ray shared a nervous look. Why did Ray have to be the one who got beat up? Just because he was indestructible, didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

"No, no, no, no, no." Ray rejected the idea as the kids cheered. Whacking a real person seemed a lot more fun than whacking that stupid fish.

"You're indestructible!" Henry hissed to Ray, thinking that he was the best candidate for the job.

"So?" Ray looked at his sidekick in offence and then at his girl for help. She wasn't keen on the idea of seeing him getting beaten by a load of children, but they didn't have a better idea.

"So just take it or (y/n) will have to be the one who gets whacked!" Henry hissed in his ear and Ray swiftly sucked it up. Damn Henry, he knew his weakness; he'd never let his sweet girl take the pain when he was more than capable of doing so and the boy knew it. That's why he was busy dragging (y/n) off to the side as the kids ran over with their bats, sticks, shovels and planks of wood. Oh dear god, this would hurt.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Ray groaned at the first few hits came in and (y/n) whimpered at the sight of him being treated so cruelly. Why did these children have to love hurting people so much?

"(y/n), come on, he'll be fine," Henry promised the young woman and she knew he was right. Taking advantage of all the focus being on Ray as he tried to escape the kids' malice, the boy and woman sneaked through the garden and avoided the parent's gaze as they went for the fiñata.

Henry tried to snag it from the tree, but it was no use. Whoever had tied it on knew what they were doing and it would take more than a few tugs to set the fiñata free.

"You're gonna have to pull harder!" (y/n) hissed to the boy as he used all his weight to try and snap the string. Things were never easy; luckily, Ray was taking to blows like a champ and the parents were too busy nattering to realise what was going on. Seeing that he had an opportunity, Henry jumped onto the fish and used all his strength to climb up the string to the branch whilst (y/n) kept a lookout.

"Keep going, Burples!" She cheered on her best friend as he was hit by the hammers and bricks, but they soon had another problem on their hands. The garden gate swung open and two more clowns joined the party. Oh, shit, here came the real Burples and Schmutz.

"Hey, hey, who are those clowns?" Henry and (y/n) looked to see that they had company and gulped when the new clowns gave them some very dirty stares. 

"That clown ain't supposed to be here!"

"Yeah, we booked this job!" The real clowns snapped as the kids stopped whacking Ray, who was suddenly just as nervous as his sidekicks.

"Uh, look uh, there's a perfectly rational explanation---" Ray tried to keep things calm between himself and the men, but they were obviously very protective over their gigs.

"Why don't you shut up and get outta here!" A clown squared up to Ray, who wasn't the sort of guy to take that kind of attitude lying down.

"Keep trying to get that thing down!" (y/n) hissed to Henry, who nodded as she went to stand in between Ray and the angry clowns.

"Uh, are you guys threatening me?" Ray asked the men as his best friend came to his side, but he wasn't going to let her get hurt, not against these losers.

"Maybe..." The clown replied and jabbed Ray in the nose with a mean right hook, shocking (y/n) and Henry as they watched their friend take the hit. Oh, it was on.

"Ah!" Ray clutched his nose as he waited for the pain to fade, but (y/n)'s temper had flared and she wasn't going to let these two clown jerks hurt the man she loved.

"Okay, Burples, is that how you wanna play?!" She hissed at the man, her eyes burning with fury as she stepped up to the plate. She was taunting them, daring them to make a move and then, she'd give them what for.

"Go back to the gutter, bitch. It's where you belong." The other man growled at her, not realising that he could insult or hit Ray all he liked, but insulting (y/n) made the superhero furious. She didn't deserve to be spoken to so rudely, not be some two-bit clown in a crappy costume and Ray wasn't going to let them get away with it.

"Oh, that's it! You don't talk about her like that! You're going down, clown!" Ray growled at them as he stepped in front of his girl, ready to defend her honour. It enraged the man to see her be mistreated and the protective streak in his DNA told him to keep her safe at all costs from the morons and their harsh words.

"Come on!" The clowns put up their fists, preparing to swing again, but they didn't realise that they had just picked a battle with Captain Man and insulted the woman he loved. They were playing with fire.

"Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight! Clown fight!" The kids and parents began to chant with Piper being to ringleader as Ray circled the two men and Henry tried his hardest to get the fiñata to budge.

He jumped up and down on it and finally, it gave way, but Henry couldn't control his landing and he accidentally squished the fish as he fell on the ground. He and (y/n) watched in horror as the death bugs began to fly out of the fiñata, searching for their targets.

"The Zom-bees!" Ray shrieked as he saw the insects spread out and his hands flew to his head to protect his brain.

"Everyone! Cover your ears!" (y/n) screamed to the kids as she got in front of them, hoping that the bees would pick her brain to eat on and not theirs. However, it seemed that they were particularly focused on the two asshole clowns, who had covered their ears too late and were screeching in pain.

"It's hurting my brain!" They screamed as Ray opened the gate for them to run out and they took the Zom-bees with them. Well, that was that dilemma solved. Wherever the bees would go, it wasn't their problem anymore. All they had to worry about was how to explain what had just happened to the terrified kids and their parents.

"Uhhhh...Happy birthday, Gabby!" (y/n) nudged the boys for them to join her and they all smiled as brightly as they could at the little girl. Now, they just needed to get out of the garden before...

"Whoa, clowns? Mister and Missus Clowns?" Mrs Birch stopped them before they could open the gate and the three looked at her sheepishly, hoping she wasn't gonna call the cops on them.

"Yeah, what's up?" Ray and Henry asked politely, hoping that whatever she wanted wouldn't take too long.

"You're supposed to stay and entertain the children until five o'clock. That's, uh...two more hours." She smiled at them as she checked her watch. Two hours, ew, no thank you.

"Oh, uhhhhh." Ray stumbled and looked to (y/n) for an excuse. She was normally good at making things up.

"Oh, well, ma'am, the thing is, you see---" The young woman rambled, wracking her brain for an excuse, but she was cut off when Piper ran over to them with something to say.

"Hey! Gabby wants you clowns to make some stuff with balloons." She told them and Mrs Birch smiled at the idea. That would give them something to do.

"But we gotta go..." Ray shuddered at the murderous glare that Piper was giving him and his excuse dried up in his mouth.

"So do it." She hissed. Looks like they had no choice.

~

Well, this sucked. Making balloon animals was a lot harder than it looked in the movies or on TV and Henry was struggling to come up with something good. At least Ray and (y/n) had an idea of what to do.

"Look, kids, aeroplane." Ray presented his balloon creation with a bored voice and twirled the propeller to make them clap. To be fair, it was quite impressive that he was able to make one.

"Look, kids, a dog." (y/n) showed them her much simpler design and then passed it to a girl at the front as she rubbed her sore hands together. The balloons had snapped and rubbed them as she twisted the latex into something resembling an animal, but at least they were soon healing over. The perks of being a superhero.

"How people do this for a living is beyond me." She grumbled quietly to Ray as they waited for Henry to finish his masterpiece. Ray saw her discomfort and took a hand into his so he could try and massage away the pain. They'd get better on their own instantly, but he wanted an excuse to hold her hand and she was happy to let him go for it.

"Uh, look I made an X." Henry smiled nervously at the children and held his untied balloons together. He was useless at balloon-art and unfortunately, this was the best he could do.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am. How much more of this do we have to do?" (y/n) asked the woman as Henry was just too painful to watch. Hopefully, they had killed a bit of time making their works. 

"An hour and fifty-five minutes." Maybe not. They still had ages left and barely any energy.

"Oh, god." Ray groaned and Henry handed him his balloons. It was mundane and agitating for the couple, who knew that they had much better things to do with their time than mess about for children, but it was okay.

Much better things were about to come their way.

[rabarbarzcukrem]

My thoughts on The Irregulars

Okay, I've just binge watched Netflix's The Irregulars. To be honest I didn't know pretty much anything about it before I started, I decided to check it out because I had heard Watson was canonically queer in this version. Glancing at the synopsis made me think that it would be a story of Sherlock Holmes's cases told through the perspective of the members of street gangs he hires to find information for him (which I thought was a cool idea with a lot of potential). So I was pretty disappointed when I started watching and found out that 1. it was fantasy and 2. it had nothing of the iconic cases from the original source material. I hate when shows take crime cases and add ✨ supernatural ✨ twists to them for no reason, because what's really fun about this particular genre is gradually figuring out how the crime was orchestrated. When you add the paranormal to that, it's harder to look for clues and draw conclusions yourself because magic makes anything possible and you need to wait for the show to explain it to you.

But I was really pleasantly surprised that the show didn't take the "crime but with a magic twist" route and committed to the idea, making everything revolve around the supernatural instead. So Holmes and Watson aren't regular detectives, they specifically deal with paranormal cases, Mycroft isn't just working for the government, he's a member of a magic cult.

I've seen many people complain that this version makes Holmes, and especially Watson completely unlikable, but this darker characterization is actually the thing I enjoyed the most. When it's done in the usual way, with Holmes as the brilliant detective and Watson as his companion, the narrator and a stand-in for the audience, he needs to be passive to some degree, because the structure of the story demands that of him. But by placing them in the background, you can stop treating them as narrative tools and actually focus on them being characters. And when you take this approach, and look at the things Watson actually does - choosing to associate himself with an eccentric drug addict and lead a particularly dangerous lifestyle - it starts to make sense that he's a little bit fucked up, actually. Also I'm a sucker for unrequited love and gay yearning, so he was bound to be my favorite.

Sherlock disappointed me a little bit to be honest. He's alright I guess, I just wish they'd do something more interesting with him. But they gave him a cunty earring, so that's a plus. (Also the actor reminded me of Taika Waititi for some reason...?)

A small part of me kind of wishes that instead of changing their characterization so drastically they'd simply make their own characters... But in that case I would have probably never watched this show, so I guess it works as a way to draw attention.

The main characters are... fine? A very typical YA fantasy team (*cough* Six of Crows *cough*). I liked how casually yet maturely they handled the sexual stuff between them, I liked Billy's struggle with his trauma. Most things about them was done well, although it was nothing revolutionary.

What really bugged me was the costume design. I won't be complaining about historical inaccuracies because it's clear the show wasn't going for realism, but why couldn't they have just chosen 1 time period (or a set of silhouettes at least) to take inspiration from and commit to it? The fashion is all over the place.

All in all it was okay? Definitely better than Warrior Nun, another cancelled show - very flawed and clumsily written but still close to my heart. It's a shame there won't be a continuation, but I don't think there needs to be.

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Dominante Imp S/O x Millie & Moxxie.

Meeting the boss.

(This is a continuation of my previous dominant imp x M&M.)

In the five or so months you'd been together youd gotten a very mixed idea of who there boss was. Millie painted him as a lovable goof who would push boundaries on the regular.

Moxxie on the other hand, spoke as though he was a pervert Stalker who had it out for him.

Of course you challenged both of them, asked where he'd been for the last five months of he were a stalker and why Moxxie hated him so much if he were a harmless goofball.

Moxxie tells you Blitzø had been unusually busy as of late, with both work and Stolas.

Which was lucky, because Moxxie wasn't sure how you'd react if you found a strange Imp in the apartment.

So instead they decide it would be better if you met him properly, instead of finding him hiding in your fridge.

So the next day they bring you along to the I.M.P offices. Both Millie and Moxxie had mixed feelings about this meeting.

They weren't sure how Blitzø would react, and then they weren't sure how you'd react to his reaction.

Making it to the office, the two gave you a series of warnings about how to approach the subject.

You dismissed there concerns, I mean you could easily take on six sinners at once without breaking a sweat. If Blitzø wanted to dance, youd dance.

So entering the office, you were met with the young hellhound'et that you instantly realised was the source of so much of Mixxie stress.

You swallowed a scowl before going up to greet her. 'You must be Loona. I've heard... a lot about you.'

Loona barely gave you a glance before going back to her phone. Millie came up besides you and asked if Blitzø was in yet.

Loona just gave a lazy nod towards a door to her right.

Millie thanked the hellhound before giving you a kiss and going to find him.

That seemed to get Loona's attention, looking at you she raised an eyebrow.

'Wondering what that was?' You asked nonchalantly. Loona glanced over the Moxxie and smirked. 'Oh yeah.'

Turning to her you smiled back, 'Well im not one to kiss and tell, but basically, for the past five or so months I've been the third partner in our little party.'

'No. Fucking. Way.' She said incredulously before bursting into laughter. 'So Moxxie really is a cuck.'

You instantly soured at her words before slaming your hands on her desk. 'Lets get something clear, young lady. Me, Moxxie and Millie are a couple, eh, I mean triad. We are in a relationship, alright.'

Reaching into your coat you pulled out a long yellow envelope. 'Simply put, I'm going to be around frequently as of starting immediately. And from what I've heard you relish in making the lifes of others as hard as possible.' You waited a moment for Loonas reaching. The hellhound just kind of nodding her head.

'So in order to keep our relationship civil, I'm going to bribe you.' Loona perked up at that. 'Bribe me with what?' She asked, eyebrow raised.

'This' you told her, handing over the envelope.

Taking the envelope, she pulled out two pieces of paper. Her eyes bulged 'Holy shit are these-'

'F#ck you dad, tickets? Yes.' You cut in, Snatching them out of her hands. Twirling them around your fingers you told her 'Not just tickets, VIP tickets.' You held the tickest up, showing the Gold film over them.

The feminine hellhounds eyes growing to animated proportions.

'I was gonna take the pair out, but couldn't find an extra ticket. So there all yours. IF. You play nice. Do we have a deal?'

Loona thought for a long minute before reply. 'Fine. I'll try to play nice.'

'You do more then try.' You told her as you handed her the tickets.

Just as you let them go, the door to your left burst open.

'Alright where is this guy' the imp that you could only assume was Blitzø.

You stepped forward, Blitzø's attention falling on you. 'Okay, so Millie here says she wants to introduce me to someone important and I'm guessing that's you.'

Sticking your hand out you told him 'Yes I believe so. You must be Blitzø, ive heard... Interesting things about you.'

Blitzø took your hand, giving it a hearty shake. 'Well im a pretty interesting guy.'

You chuckled at that, before Millie came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your chest.

Going ridged you were about to turn around and ask what Millie was doing, when you felt someone grab your hand.

Looking to your right you found Moxxie holding your hand, an innocent little smile across his face.

You were about to ask him what he's doing when it strikes you. Looking over to Millie, you find her wearing a devious little smile. Looking back Moxxie you find him wearing a similar, if not slightly more anxious smile.

'Oh you little bastards, didn't want to make it too easy for me aye?' Millie whispered back in that sexy southern drawl, 'Nope.'

Chuckling you tell them 'You are gonna pay for this tonight.'

Looking back to Blitzø, I find a very confused Imp staring at me. 'Whats going on?' He asked, obviously suspicious.

'W-well, you see. For the last five months or so Me, Millie and Moxxie have kinda... sorta... been in a relationship.'

You leaned back a little, waiting for his reaction. It takes a minute before he screams 'What!'

You pull back, putting yourself between Blitzø and the pair.

Shrugged of the pairs touch, you repeated yourself. 'Me and your two employees are in a relationship.'

Blitzø balled his fists before slaming them the table. 'For fucks sake!' He screamed. 'Three years and this fucker lives out my fantasy.'

You look at the Imp unsure how to respond, but before you could you heard Moxxie speak up. 'Fantasy?' He asked behind you.

Blitzø chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. 'Well I mean, surely it's not a secret I've kinda had a thing for you guys for a while.'

'Eww' Loona muttered, looking up from her phone.

Turning around you were quickly pulled forward, Blitzø wrapping his arm around your neck.

'So tell me, Uuh, what was your name again?' He asked. '(Y/N)' you replied.

'Aah, yes of course. So (Y/N), tell me what's it like? ' you raised an eyebrow, unsure what he meant. 'What's what like?'

'You know, the two of them... in bed?' He wagged his eyebrows at the end. You instantly sobered up.

Pulling your arm off your shoulder you stepped away from him. 'Sorry buddy, but that's between me and the two of them.'

Blitzø blew it off, wrapping his arm around your shoulder again. 'Come on, just give me a few details. Tell me, Is Moxxie a total bottom or can he dom.'

At this point you were done with his antics and practically threw his arm off of you.

'Listen, I get it, Moxxie and Millie have both told me you don't really do "Boundries" but our relationship is just that, Ours. You wanna hang out at work or go out for drinks, no problem.'

You turned serious 'But in our home, unless your invited. I don't wanna see you there.'

Blitzø wore a smirk , a smirk Id seen a hundred times over. The cocky little shit was gonna test me.

'Really?' He asked, smirk growing. I chuckled back, 'Yeah, really.'

Turing to him you told him 'I get it, your a killer, assassin for hire i get really. You kill people for a living.' You slipped a hand into your pocket, 'But do you know what I do?'

Blitzø just shook his head. 'I'm a bouncer, ya know what that means.' You ask him.

'You bounce things?' He asked dripping with sarcasm. You gave a dry chuckle back before gripping the back of his neck.

'My job is to put smartasses like you in there place. There place being on the curb, missing a few teeth.'

Blitzø's smirk grew a little larger, a little anger in his eyes. And before you knew it, he swung at you. His left arm swung in a sloppy haymaker.

Of course you were to quick, and easily dodged it, only to return with a proper haymaker. Although your haymaker came with a shiny set of brass knuckles, courtesy of your right pocket.

Blitzø went down, with one punch, like a sack of rocks.

You stepped back, taking a look at the now unconscious Imp. You could see a large bruise beginning to form on the left side of his face.

Moxxie and Millie came up besides you, looking down at the Imp. 'Bout time someone knocked some sense into him.' Moxxie grumbled.

'Mox he's our boss!' Millie scolded her husband. 'No. He's right.' You cut in, 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes and your boss chose to play a very stupid game.'

It took about an hour before he woke up, still on the floor he released a long groan before sitting up.

You walked up to him, coffee in hand before squatting down and checking his cheek.

'Hey there champ, good nap?' You ask, feeling particularly smug.

Blitzø rubbed his face, groaning out 'You get the make and model on the that Truck that hit me.'

You chuckled, 'No I did not. But I'm sure it would be happy to come right on back, unless that is, you've learnt your lesson?'

Blitzø looked up at you, the implications of your words sinking in. His eyes shifted across the room, then onto you.

'Yeah' he said, nodding his head 'lesson learnt.' Handing him the coffee you helped him to his feet.

'Good boy.' You told him before calling Millie and Moxxie over.

Steering the two towards the door you turn to Blitzø and ask, 'Its alright if they take the day off, aye Boss?'

Blitzø just gave a weak little thumbs up before turning and heading for his office.

Turning back to the pair, you leaned into Moxxie's ear and whispered 'Now who do I need to punish for that little scheme back there.'

[miraculous-mystery]

Adrien's Addiction and Trips To Gotham~ Pt. 11

Previous

Adrien rolled his eyes at Etoile and Finlay. They both had taken the job of hanging his collège graduation certificate up. Their achievement wall was at the stairs. There were pictures of Marceau's first foreign language competition, Lilou's first archery contest and Soleil's first dat of school. Every single achievement was photographed and put up there.

Finlay groaned loudly. "Alright this is ridiculous! Can you not do anything right?!" he shouted at the man they hired.

"Fin." Etoile called sternly. She put her hands on her hips. "Adrien said to be nice to him."

Finlay huffed and crossed his arms, " If he can't do his fu—"

"I said no swearing." Adrien reprimanded.

"Whatever," he mumbled. "I'll be nice. Move it to the right."

"Perfect!" Etoile exclaimed. "Thank you for your help and sorry for my brother." Finlay huffed.

Adrien sighed. "Come with me. I'll give you the money."

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Tim did not expect the ever chirpy voice of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. If he remembered their schedule right then Chloé would have the phone.

"Morning Red! What can I do for you?"

"There's a connection to Mayura and Nathalie Sancoeur."

"Oh?" she questioned, "If you don't mind, can you send the information in an email. I wanna see how you got there."

Even though she couldn't see him he rose an eyebrow. "Do you not trust me?"

"One of our civilian aids have personal connections to Mlle. Sancoeur." She sighed, "He going to want proof."

Tim hummed in understanding. "Who's coming?"

Before he could answer Jason was beside him talking to Marinette. "Hey Pixie-pop. How ya doing?"

"Fine. Lilou's driving me crazy and Finlay eats an unhealthy amount of chocolate éclairs a day."

"With the pastries your family makes it makes sense."

There was a screeched in her background. "Chloé is dying so I have to go. Bye!" There was a gasp before she hung up. "Oh! Tim, Dame Miel is going to be there in a few hours."

"Okay. I'll see you to whenever you come back."

Then she ended the call. Tim relaxed in his chair. He glanced back at the screen directly in front of him. On the screen was a beaming Marinette beside Ladybug with a similar expression.

On the screen beside was Adrien and Chat Noir. This time their bodies were outlined. Then there was Chloé and Dame Miel. One audio recording was under Chloé's picture and another under Dame Miel.

Bunnix was a bit harder to figure out. She definitely used her abilities to her advantage. She had decreased her puberty time so that she only developed 3/4 of the way.

So he went from looking for a teenager to looking for a tween. In age, she was definitely a teenager but identifying her had him looking for a tween.

Then he got a match. Alix Kubel had the same voice and figure as Bunnix. But she had already revealed her identity. He just wanted to see if she used her powers to hide her identity.

Nathalie Sancoeur was a simple guess. She was the more public of the two villains. However they wasn't quite so public. For a large city they knew everyone but only two people were continually hiding themselves, Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur.

Mayura was a female so it was easy to point to Nathalie. After a few tests it was confirmed. So Gabriel was the only obvious option for Hawkmoth.

It still wasn't proven yet because Hawkmoth refused to let his voice be recorded or a picture taken.

But for now he had enough.

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

A blur of yellow zoomed across the batcave. The yellow blur sat on the railing of the second floor. "Dame Miel. Sure you've heard about me."

"Red Robin. Pleasure." He looked up at her.

Blonde hair was up in an elegant updo, her eyes covered by a yellow and black masquerade-style mask. She wore a long straight dress with a white top and a yellow skirt with a slit in the right. A black fur shawl was draped over her shoulders.

"You know my identity." It wasn't a question. Just something she wanted him to know she knew. "Don't worry. It doesn't matter. I know yours anyway and The Lady and Noir don't mind if you found it out on your own."

"You're right. I never said I only have Mayura's identity," he answered simply. "Do you want to come down or are you okay with your high seat?"

"Don't mock me Timothy." She jumped down and leaned against his chair, "So what's up?"

"You don't talk like a duchess."

She hummed. "I guess I don't."

He pulled up his file on Mayura. "Nathalie is definitely Mayura but I'm not sure if Gabriel is Hawkmoth."

Chloé chuckled. "The man isn't exactly one for the media." She pushed him away and took her place at the computer. "How do you find things on this?" He explained it to her and she kept telling him that it was needlessly complicated. "Hawkmoth's 'debut' is the only recording of him. You can use it as evidence for your guess."

Tim watched at the video blankly. "Why couldn't I find it?"

"Most people think that he's been going by Hawkmoth the whole time because Papillion is the name of a singer too."

"So there are articles, reports and videos of him under the name Papillion from the earlier parts of his career?"

"Yup. Didn't know who he was, just knew he used butterflies so we just rolled with Papillion." He moved back to lean against his chair again. "Now, let's get proof on Hawkmoth's identity 'cause I want my bed back."

Tim rolled his eyes. "I doubt that's possible anymore."

"True."

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Marinette sighed. "Adrien, you can't carry all of them to Metropolis."

Adrien looked close to tears. "It's only 7 kids."

Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. How many times are they going to have this argument. "Seven of the is a lot."

"I'm not guaranteed to go and Lilou is invited to the meet and greet so that's only 5 kids," Etoile defended from her space on the loveseat with the new kid, Liliana.

"See. Not a lot," Adrien pleaded, giving her the largest, saddest puppy eyes he could muster. "Think of it as a vacation."

"Please?" Liliana pleaded, giving her her version of the dreaded puppy eyes.

Marinette tried her best not to cave but it didn't work. "They can stay in the Bourgeois mansion in Gotham with Alix. No one is using the place anyway and Chlo has a key."

"Yay!" Adrien and Liliana exclaimed

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Chloé looked at the mansion solemnly. "I'm going to miss you dear house."

Finlay sighed adjusting Edmon, a 2-year-old boy, on his hip. "We're not going to destroy it completely. It'll just cost less."

"Same thing Fin."

"It's not." The baby did his best to repeat what he said. "See? Even the baby agrees."

Lilou stood beside him playing with the baby. "I believe we have places to be, Tante Chloé?"

"You don't look ready Lily."

She pulled her finger out of the baby's hand gently. "I'm ready now."

Alix groaned. "I'll see you guys in 3 days," she called after them. "If I'm not dead by then," she muttered.

Finlay huffed, offended. "Auntie Alix!"

Next

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plizetsky x reader)

(Part three)

Part one. Part two. Part four part five Masterlist

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: mentions of minor injury, tsundere Yuri

*Yuri's POV*

"Do it again. This time slow down and think every turn through before you start over."

It's worse than he anticipated. How many practices did he cancel exactly? The sweat is pooling at the base of his hairline and he can feel a nerve in his pinky twitch uncontrollably after using his hand to save him from a particularly bad fall after attempting a rushed series of jumps ending in a loop. The all too pleasant sound of the blades of his skates cutting up fresh ice from the surface is mixed with grunts of frustration and rapid panting. His mind tells him to repeat repeat repeat from the start if he gets something wrong. Repeat until he gets it right and then move on.

Yakov is visibly in a bad mood after seeing how much training they had to get done before moving to his sessions with (Y/n). That means hiring her longer than expected and that's something both him and Yakov wants to avoid. Not because they don't have the money, but because she'll be wandering around without a purpose in Japan, waiting for Yuri to get back in shape.

Another fall. Yuri attempts to use his other hand for support and spring on his feet again but the balance fails him since it's the wrong hand and the inner edge of his right skate bends outwards. He stumble for a second but gets right onto repeating the combination. Deadset to move on as fast as possible.

He knew that Yakov said they would be starting tomorrow morning with his time at the rink. Though,  Yuri had a feeling he would need all the extra time he could get.

(Y/n). The aftermath of his first meeting with the all too famous singer started kicking in. All he could do was thinking about it. His harsh behavior and the disappointment in her response. 'Your voice isn't that special'. Why did he say that when she's literally gold winner of the hottest contest in current time? Even worse, why did he say that when until today he had been following her journey through We Are Voice with a great interest? He especially remember the shock of entire Russian population when she chose to compete with 'Scream' by Sergey Lazarev. That song got sent as Russia's participating song in Eurovision Song Contest. The music contest arranged by the European countries each year. Even though it only came in 3rd place that year it certainly felt like we had won with such a legendary cover. Her presence glowing on stage like that with one of the prides of Russia certainly exploded all over the internet.

But now? It felt too surreal to stand in the same room as the (y/n) (l/n) from that performance. Like he shouldn't know stuff like what shampoo she uses or her off-camera personality. It was almost too intimate in a way and Yuri wasn't sure that he wanted to get to know her. And certainly not as his coach. That just felt like some sense of mockery to him. 'Hey, let's pic the girl who won gold for her intense stage-presence because Yuri is that sucky on feeling stuff.' Was the stuff people surely would be saying about him as soon as media got hold on the news. No, not that he cared about what other's said. It was partly true.

Each jump more rushed than the other, his ears tuned out the sound of Yakov's irritated voice at the end of the rink. The only sound he heard was the sound of his skates clashing and his own breath. Somewhere a door opened and he heard quiet voices at the entrance.

Great. An audience. He decided to stop with the combination for one moment and went with a basic camel spin, slowly fading into an upright spin, hoping into a salchow. The intention was to gain some of his dignity back before he would have to go back falling on his face again. But when the rotation of the salchow was off, anger burned up inside him. Now he was determined to get the jump right followed by the combined spins.

"Yuri, you still have to..." Yakov said to him somewhere to his left but he didn't hear much of it. Or was it right? No, behind him. Where was he located again? Doesn't matter, just keep moving.

Where are the walls of the rink? No, just do it.

It's just camel, upright and salcho-

*smack*

A heavy impact to his head and startled gasps somewhere. He was on the ground now, clutching his forehead in his hand. After one look of the object causing the impact he groaned and stood up in a haze. That damned wall. Was he really that caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize his balance was completely off even before the finishing jump?

He looked around on the people inside the room. Yakov with his furrowed brows and a girl and a man running into a lounge. That must be the piglet's friends. And beside Yakov a few turns away-

(Y/n). Of course she had to see that. After her stern words at dinner time, Yuri had no intention of causing a further scolding from her. Yakov he could handle but her, just ridiculous.

The old man flailed his arms for a motion for Yuri to continue practicing.

"Don't stop now! You haven't gotten it right yet!"

R-right, he stopped moving and ended up staring at the people around him. Even if he didn't get to catch his breath, he still was too far behind to call it a day now. 'This time I'll have to get it right.' He thought and proceeded to finish the camel/upright spin and then-

Yes! He landed on the outer edge with his right foot like expected and took a little skip to finish it off more aesthetically pleasing.

He tried to ignore the blood pounding in his ears as he went back to the previous combination. But once again the loop faltered and the muscles in his hand hissed underneath the ice as he held himself upright.

"Hey, Yuri! You go take a breather, don't ya? And come here while you do."

It was (Y/n) who rested her arms against the edge of the rink. But a confused cough from Yakov made him hesitate and he stood still, waiting for the two of them to decide for him. He should probably keep going-

"But he just got it right!"

"I can tell when someone's on the verge of collapsing. It's very clear that he won't get anything done if you keep it at this rate. Hell, he might even get seriously injured if his limbs don't follow instructions, Yakov. At least grant him a break." The smile (Y/n) gave the man was a sign to say 'no hard feelings' but the tone of her voice said otherwise. After a moment of silence he nodded and waved at Yuri to get off the ice towards (Y/n). But Yuri didn't really want to be alone with her so he went to the opposite side of where she was waiting for him. He earned a questioning look from her but just waved it off with his own hand.

His fingers were cold and stale. It was hard getting a good grip on the shoelaces and getting the blades in its sheathing. He grunted and leaned back against his seat, the skates still on his feet and his hands turned to fists.

"I know you don't need my help." The boy gazes up at the girl beside him. His new coach looks down at him from where he's sitting and takes a seat beside him. A first aid kit and a blanket rests in her lap.

He sits up properly and turns his head away from her, continuing to untie his skates.

"You're right, I don't."

"You're very consistent. I personally think you did a grea-"

"Why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to meet your fans or something?" Yuri knew it was risky to cut your coach off mid-sentence but the words came anyway. Besides, is she really a coach if she has zero experience how to teach others? She's just playing like Victor did two years ago and kept doing so. Even if she's no coach, her (h/c) eyes still feels like they are piercing his soul and there no way to shield himself from her. He feels like an open book for her to abuse so... Maybe she's just good at reading emotions and not actually teaching them. How does one teach emotions? What will she be doing exactly?

"That ended hours ago. You weren't at Hot Springs when I returned so Victor figured you'd be here."

Stupid Victor. Couldn't he tell that Yuri didn't want her near?

(Y/n) opened up the first aid kit and Yuri eyed it carefully. She handed him the blanket with an extended arm but he just swatted it away. It fell on the floor and she stared at it blankly. Then she bent forwards and picked it back up, forcefully wrapping it around the skater burrito style.

"Wha- stop it!" He pouted and shot daggers at her once again. This time, he only earned a grin of satisfaction from her as she took a cotton pad and drenched it in hydrogen peroxide.

"You earned a pretty nasty wound when you headbanged the wall, you know." He knew. Blood was dripping into his left eye and made his vision turn red. He started thrashing and trying to eel his way away from her. That caused her to take a steady grip of both of his cheeks and hold him still. The look she gave him said 'don't you dare move again' and she put the drenched cotton against his forehead. Sharp pain exploded from the wound and he hissed. When the pad was removed, a wet tissue swept up the blood on his cheek and on his eyelid. The touch was cool against his hot skin. Some of his vision turned back and he released a small sigh of relief. Lastly a bandaid was put over the wound. He saw (Y/n) judging her work carefully and then she nodded to herself.

He jolted slightly when he felt her grab his hand with careful manners. Her hands spread is fingers cautiously and he felt her thumb swipe over his still twitching pinky.

"You feel this, right? Does it hurt badly?" Her voice was soft like a breeze and it startled him slightly. A moment ago she was rough and stern and now she's soft and tender? And for the record, yes. Yes he does feel that. And he doesn't even want to begin to think of how soft her hands are-

"No... It's nothing." He lied. But what else what he supposed to say anyway. His hand was swollen but he can't skate with a bandage. But depending on the unimpressed look she gave him, he knew she wasn't buying any of his bullshit.

"Then how come your face looks like that when I touch this spot?" She spoke and applied the slightest of pressure in between the joints of his knuckles. He let out a forced 'owowow' at the action and yanked his hand out of her grip.

"Fine! But you don't have to hurt me further then!"

"Then only one hurting you here, is yourself."

She picked up the rolled bandage and grabbed his hand once again. He took a moment to linger his attention on what she said. How is he hurting himself? He's just doing what needs to be done!

Yakov returned to the two of them and stood slightly off to the side. Yuri saw the dismay in his eyes when he saw the bandage (Y/n) held.

"Kid, we're done for today. Take the rest of the day to gain back your energy for tomorrow's practice."

Yuri nodded and kept watching (Y/n) wrap the bandage. Meanwhile, he couldn't help but catch the mild scent of peach and wild berries. But there was something else. Probably (f/c) (favorite scent) and it smelled fantastic for some reason.

"You know, you should probably get settled into your room immediately when we return." (Y/n) spoke up and flashed Yuri a smile.

"I'll help you." She continued but he shook his head.

"No, that won't be necessary!"

"Oh right, there is one more thing I forgot to mention earlier." Yakov leaned against the walls of the rink as (Y/n) finished wrapping Yuri's hand with the bandage. It felt better with the comforting pressure onto his swollen hand. Jokes aside, maybe he could actually find something to enjoy at his stay here.

"Hot Springs and the hotels in Japan are currently all occupied. You will be staying in (Y/n)'s room thought your stay, as roommates."

...

Nevermind, scratch that thought.

[eryiss]

Chapter Five -  The Cut

Summary: Freed and Laxus live incredibly different lives. Freed is a corporate lawyer in the capital city, and Laxus works as a handyman in a countryside hotel. Despite their differences, their lives collide when Freed inherits a house in Laxus’ village, and hires him to make the derelict building liveable. But the closer they get, the more they seem to offer each other. [Fraxus Multi-Chapter]

This was written as my admission for Fraxus Day 2020, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus​. Hope you enjoy it. Also, this chapter has mentions of bullying and descriptions of blood,

You can read this under the cut, on Fanfiction, or on Archive of Our Own. You can find the chapter masterpost here.

Chapter Five – The Cut

Melancholy wasn't the word. It wasn't.

Freed wasn't the type of person to get melancholy, he had never been governed by his emotions at all. He didn't look back on things fondly, nor did he feel a sense of sadness when parts of his life were over. Yes, of course things did make him emotional, but he was by no means the type of person to feel sad because something was over. Life moved on quickly, and so must he. It was the rational way to live his life.

It was a mantra he found himself repeating over and over again, as he walked through the house.

The nearly finished house.

The place was by no means a model home, but it worked as it needed to. Windows had been fixed, plumbing and electricals repaired, and structure reinforced. Walls were still stripped with remnants of old-fashioned wallpaper sticking to it, and the floorboards were bare, but it was a house again. It needed love, attention, and upgrading for anyone to actually want it. But it was liveable. Exactly what Freed had wanted. So, following the logic he lived his life by, he should want to sell the place instantly and get back to Era and work on his next case. It was the next logical step, and exactly what he should be doing.

Of course, he wasn't. Because despite it being in contrast with how he'd always lived, Freed felt an odd sense of reluctance to leave. He found himself more than once hovering over the call button on Gildarts' phone number, only to return his phone to his pocket with a muttered complaint of annoyance at himself.

It was pathetic really.

He tried to rationalise it, give his feeling a pragmatic explanation. He said it was because the house was an achievement for him. Something he had done with his hands. A practical achievement that stood out to him because most of his notable work was with the mind. And why would he want to leave something like that? It was a monument to what he could do when he put his mind to it, and he was proud.

But that was a lie, he knew that. The real reason he didn't want to sell the house was because it was the only thing tying him to Magnolia. And he wasn't ready to leave it yet.

Yes, of course he didn't need to own a house to visit the town. He had gained a solid friendship with Laxus, and had gained acquaintances with Laxus' own friends, and so he could justify visiting them from time to time. But the issue lay in that he didn't really want to come back from time to time. He'd gotten used to visiting for the weekends, and he didn't want to stop.

And he couldn't do that now. Not without everyone in the gossiping village knowing why he returned. Because they would, they'd see through it like glass, and Freed wasn't able to deal with that.

He wasn't good at being embarrassed. Never had been.

There were few situations in his life where he had actually been embarrassed, something that happened by design. There had been a few unfortunate instances in his teenage years that find themselves replaying in his head on random nights. So he had made a conscious effort to avoid any situation where embarrassment might occur. It was working well, all in all, and yet this village had this effect on him that made him question the choices that had kept him sane so far.

Freed shook his head. He wasn't getting melancholy, and he certainly wasn't getting self-reflective.

It did nobody any good.

He took a small sponge and slowly wiped down the table in Albion House's kitchen. It had been there when Freed had inherited it, and after Laxus had sanded it down and polished it, it was as workable as the rest of the house. Tonight was the first time the table was going to be used for its actual purpose. He and Laxus were going to have a meal together.

That didn't help the situation.

Because, clearly there was something more. Magnolia was a nice town, and the people in it were good to Freed, but nobody got that sentimental over a collection of buildings. People did, unfortunately, get sentimental about other people.

And annoyingly, Laxus was a good person. He was snarky, and had a bite to him, and he could challenge Freed without blinking. But he was also kind, and helpful, and when he was teaching Freed how to wire a socket or plumb in a toilet, he was patient and made sure to keep the mood light; particularly when Freed was on the edge of smashing the porcelain bastard with the wrench. He was a good man, and seemed to know how to handle Freed in whatever situation he was in.

Also, he was beautiful. Freed had withheld that admission for a while, but since they would likely part ways soon he wanted to be honest. Broad shoulders, a thin waist, striking blonde hair and bright eyes. Evergreen had been right; he was an Adonis.

It didn't help he had a rustic charm that attracted Freed more than it should.

Perhaps it was for the best that they wouldn't see much of each other. Freed wasn't the romantic type, he had more important things to do. And his attraction was born out of proximity. Laxus was an attractive man, but he was just a man. In one years' time, Freed would have forgotten about him, and his life would be normal again.

And hopefully those occasional dreams would pass too. Be them the disgustingly sweet, or the more… intense ones.

"Hey," A voice snapped Freed out of his thoughts. "I think it's clean."

Freed frowned, then looked down to the table he was cleaning. One particular part of the table in particular was shining more than others. Freed's hackles rose slightly at the teasing tone in Laxus' words, but he scolded himself in his head. Laxus hadn't known what he was thinking about, all he'd seen was Freed washing a table for far too long.

"Out of interest," Freed said, cautiously. "How long have you been here?"

"Fifteen minutes," Laxus grinned, raising the two pots of Chinese food. "Food might be cold."

"Fifteen minutes!" Freed exclaimed, almost horrified.

"It was like half a minute, moron," Laxus smirked, walking to the table, and placing their take-out on the table. "What were you thinkin' about that hard?"

"A case," Freed lied. He didn't have an active case at the moment, but he was probably going to be helping with one soon. When he went back to the city. Permanently. "It's nothing too troubling, really. It's actually quite an easy case really, but our client is high profile, and they might use our services again should they need it. So we need to be litigious and cordial."

"Can't imagine you enjoy being cordial," Laxus smirked. "Probably out of practice."

"And for that, I don't think I'll pay for my half of this," Freed said, reaching over and taking the pot of food from Laxus' hand.

"Kinda proving my point there, ain't ya?"

Freed smiled a little as he brought the chopsticks to his lips. They were having a meal together as a sort of goodbye evening – not helping with Freed's refusal to be melancholy about the situation. Because not only did it force him to confront the fact he's leaving, he has to do so with the man who's making it a lot harder to do so. Worse still, Laxus had looked so damn charming with a tediously honest smile when he'd suggested they eat together. It had sent a little jolt through Freed.

Bastard. Maybe he was doing it on purpose.

"I saw Cana while I was waiting for the food," Laxus spoke again, garnering Freed's attention again. "She mentioned that her dad's looking forward to seeing what we've done with the place, apparently he's been excited about it."

"Is he interested in buying it?" Freed asked, frowning.

"He's your estate agent, Freed," Laxus said in a deadpan voice, though he was clearly fighting a smile. "You should know that. It worries me that you don't know that."

"Gildarts is Cana's father?" Freed frowned further. "They have different surnames?"

"Fuck, sometimes I forget you ain't from here," Laxus laughed loudly, leaning back in his chair and grinning. "There's a hell of a lot you don't know, isn't there? Well, guess the best place to start is with Gildarts, ain't it. Or I guess a more accurate name is Gildarts, Man-Whore Extraordinaire."

And thus, Laxus began to tell the rumours and stories about what Gildarts was like when he was younger – he really did seem to earn the title Laxus had given him – before trailing off to the other stories about Magnolia. He spoke about his hometown with a level of enthusiasm that Freed enjoyed watching, and found himself getting enveloped in the worlds that Laxus was describing. Though he might not be quite as eloquent as Freed was, he certainly made up for it with boisterous laughter and an odd amount of glee at exposing his friends embarrassing stories.

It was almost enough to distract Freed from what Laxus had said. 'I forget you ain't from here.' It was a little sentence, probably a throwaway thought to Laxus, but it made Freed feel oddly comforted. As if he had been accepted into this little community.

A ridiculous idea, really.

He blinked to stop that train of thought, and focused on the story about Elfman. Apparently he had been dragged into some comic book convention by his sisters and had been forced to dress as a monster from a book series. He apparently hated every moment of it, and Laxus had spent the years following showing the pictures of him in the costume at every opportunity he could. To prove his point, Laxus had pulled out his phone and showed Freed.

It was a better costume that Freed expected. But it revealed far too much for the shy, younger version of Elfman that Laxus had described.

Freed did find himself distracted by Laxus, thankfully. But it wasn't quite enough, because as he listened, he absently lowered his left hand under the table and started to swirl his finger against the palm of his hand. Perhaps he wouldn't have noticed the return of his nervous tick, had it not been for the raised scar that he grazed lightly.

It was new, and when he touched it and thought back to its origin, any lie about not being melancholic was shattered.

~~~

"Shit. Fuck. Fuck."

Freed hissed, pain splitting from his left hand up into his arm. He stepped back slightly, eyes flickering to the large gash that he'd just given himself, along with the thick blood that was fighting to get from it. It was a nasty looking cut, and Freed found himself unable to look away from it.

Laxus, who had been crouching down and pushing new floorboards into place, glanced towards Freed with a slight grin. The expression fell when he saw blood drip onto the floor, and he stood up quickly and walked to Freed's side. He took Freed's injured hand in his own, and let out a small hiss of sympathy as he saw the cut. Ridiculously, Freed couldn't help but note that Laxus was holding his hand for the first time.

"That's pretty nasty," Laxus commented.

"Is it," Freed muttered. "I thought it was a papercut."

"Good, if you can be a dick then it ain't that bad," Laxus smiled. "Come on, we need to wash it."

Not removing his hand from Freed's wrist, he dragged the lawyer from the cottage's sitting room and into the kitchen. Freed didn't fight it, instead focusing on catching the droplets of blood rather than letting them land on the carpet and stain it. It was a good enough distraction from both the stinging pain that was running through him, and the presence of Laxus being so close.

It wasn't a distraction from the embarrassment of the situation. Because after being successful at almost every task Laxus had given him, he cut himself sawing off the edge of a floorboard. Out of all the tools he's used, he was bested by a sawblade.

"This ain't gonna hurt a bit," Laxus promised as he opened the faucet and dragged Freed's hand under the stream of water.

Laxus Dreyar was a lying bag of shit.

"Mother fucking crap-whore!" Freed practically yelled. There was a moment of silence, Freed almost panting with pain, and Laxus biting his lip. A second later, a loud, unabashed, raucous laughter filled the room. Laxus actually doubled over he was laughing so much, resting his hands on his thighs while Freed glared at him from the sink. "I'm glad you're enjoying this so much."

"I'm sorry," Laxus grinned, something almost akin to a giggle slipping out. "I really am."

"No you're not."

"I'm not," Laxus agreed. "It was fucking funny, man. I ain't ever seen ya acting like that. Just caught me off guard," He glanced up, met Freed's glare, and burst into laughter again. "I'll get a bandage. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Freed muttered. "And try not to fall, impale yourself on a spike and die. That would be awful."

"Don't worry. Only an idiot could get hurt in this place," Laxus laughed again, and if Freed had something in reach, he would have thrown it at the bastard's head.

When Laxus returned to the kitchen, he was holding the first aid kit that he had insisted they keep in the house; no doubt when the humour of Freed's injury and subsequent cussing died down, Laxus would gloat about how right he was with demanding the first aid kit. He carefully guided Freed's hand out from under the stream of water, and patted it dry softly with a towel. Freed winced a little at the pressure on his cut, but didn't say anything.

Slowly, with careful and practiced movements, Laxus wrapped the bandage around his hand. He managed to avoid trapping any of his fingers. Though the white fabric did get stained slightly, it seemed to trap the blood from pouring out too badly. The pain was subsiding slightly now, too.

It allowed him to appreciate how gentle Laxus was being. He wasn't used to thinking of Laxus being gentle.

"How do you know how to do this?" Freed asked, sitting at the kitchen table.

"I used to have to do it all the time," Laxus sighed a little as he spoke, removing his hands from the bandage and inspecting his handywork. He looked up to Freed, who was frowning at him slightly. "I had a lot going on when I was a teenager, got into a lot of fights. Well, that's how I saw it. Turns out I was kind of a bully."

Freed frowned deeper. "You were?"

"Yeah. Didn't think I was, at the time, but I went to therapy for a while and she called me out on it," Laxus shrugged. "But yeah, a couple times a month I'd fight some kid. Had a superiority complex or some shit, wanted everyone to worship me and do what I want. Cringey teenager shit and a lot of aggression, bad mix. Eventually, when the guys started to fight back, I needed to learn some basic first aid."

When Laxus looked up, Freed had an expression of curiosity on his face. It clearly wasn't what Laxus had expected.

"Was it the therapy that made you stop, then?" Freed asked, and Laxus seemed blind sighted for a moment.

"Er, no. Not exactly," Laxus shook his head. "There were two kids that pissed me off more than most, don't know why. So when things were getting bad, I kinda… targeted them more than anyone else. Natsu and Gajeel, you might have met them at some point. Fireman and mechanic. But they got pissed at me for taking things too far, jumped me, beat the shit out of me, then went to the principal and told him all the shit I've done. Got suspended, thought about myself, and started meetin' with Porlyusica; she's my therapist. She basically listed all the shit I've done and made me be better."

Freed took a moment to think through what he'd just heard. It was the best thing to do, he'd found out. Sometimes people let out their biggest, darkest secrets to him – the curse of being a lawyer – and your first thoughts on the matter were often unhelpful. So he took some time, and eventually asked the question that seemed most prudent.

"Your principal suspended you without evidence?" Freed asked.

"Oh he had plenty of evidence," Laxus laughed. "Hard to get shit past the guy when he's your grandfather."

"Makarov?" Freed frowned.

"Yeah, used to be in charge of the school. Only retired because the school board forced him to," Laxus grinned. "He started working at the hotel because he found retirement boring," Laxus smiled for a moment at the memory of his grandfather's sudden proclamation he was buying the hotel, before looking back to Freed, smile drooping slightly. "I just admitted to beating up kids and being a bully, why doesn't that bother you?"

"Some of my clients intentionally lower their workers' wages to increase their own paycheque, and then laugh about it," Freed shrugged. But Laxus nudged him, sensing there was more. "Nobody was there best in high school, I certainly wasn't."

"You were a bully too huh?" Laxus laughed, joking.

"Well, not exactly, but I wasn't the most kind," Freed leant back in his chair. "I was the smartest person there and wanted people to know it. I would start discussions on test results just so I could make sure everyone knew I'd gotten one hundred percent. And there was one boy, he wasn't the smartest, who sat beside me in most classes. Alphabetised seating plans and all. I could be rather… patronising to him. I think I had a crush on him, in retrospect. It was probably a twisted way of trying to deal with it."

"You don't seem like that now," Laxus commented. "Other than when you're joking, but I know that ain't serious. What changed?"

"Evergreen and Bickslow essentially told me that if I didn't get over myself, they'd stop being my friends," Freed smiled. "Other than them, I only had my parents. I couldn't lose them."

They sat in silence, Freed thinking back to the person he was in high school, Laxus perhaps doing the same thing. It was an odd feeling, sitting with someone who somewhat understood what it was like being ashamed of the person you used to be, but knowing you've grown past them. Most people, if they did feel like that, didn't talk about it. It was nice to know that, in Laxus, he had someone he could relate to.

It was also nice to know that he had just come out to Laxus and the blonde hadn't so much as blinked.

"I would have kicked your ass if we went to school together," Laxus declared, smirking.

"You would have tried," Freed corrected, allowing the mood to be lifted. "But, as a child I was also an award-winning fencer. I would have stabbed you before you could hurt me."

"Hard to stab someone when you've been knocked out," Laxus grinned cockily, making a fist. This had the unfortunate side effect of making his bicep flex, and therefore Freed had to avert his gaze.

They chuckled together, enjoying their joke that wasn't particularly funny. It was relaxing to be around with Laxus, and Freed felt as though he could be honest with him in a way that he couldn't be with others. Perhaps that was because he was the first person Freed had gotten to know deeply since his time in school. But that didn't matter, really. Because the important thing was that he enjoyed Laxus.

"Come on," Laxus spoke again. "I don't trust my bandage work. Let's go to the doctors, make sure you ain't gonna get infected or some shit."

And stupidly, Freed's heart fluttered at that.

~~~

"You really are distracted, ain't ya?"

Freed looked up from his hand, which he had placed on the table and was fiddling with, and towards Laxus. The blonde had an expression unknown to Freed, something between being amused and contemplative. Freed frowned.

"I suppose I am," Freed agreed. "I'm sorry. You wanted to do this and I'm being terrible company. What were you saying?"

"It ain't important," Laxus gave a half shrug. "You wanna tell me what's bothering you?"

"As I said, I've got an upcoming case that could be very good for my company," Freed quickly lied, because the truth was now completely untellable. "It's getting to me a little, but it's not as bad as you might think. I just need to rationalise everything."

"Right. So when I texted Evergreen a second ago and she said you don't have anything planned at work, she was lying?" Laxus crossed his arms, and Freed's eyes narrowed.

"You and Evergreen talk?"

"You can bullshit me all you want, but I'm gonna be able to see through it," Laxus said, ignoring Freed's question. "And you don't have to tell me what's actually bothering you, because if it ain't my business then it ain't my business."

Freed wanted to snipe at him. Ask him why, if he believed his words, was he still talking?

"I'm just gonna say this," Laxus continued. "Nothing has to be done if you don't want it to be."

And, in a way, there was the reality that Freed had been hiding from. Because, as much as he didn't want to leave Magnolia behind, he also didn't want to let himself think he could stay. The hard line he had always drawn with the house was that, once it was functional and sellable, he would sell it and get back to his normal life. Not only was it a goal for him to achieve, but it had also turned into a rule he had to follow.

Because his fondness for both the town and Laxus had been gradual, and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Freed. He told himself he had to leave the place behind at some point, and doing that once the house was sold was a way of holding himself accountable. Once the building work had been completed, there was nothing else for him to do in Magnolia.

But that was a lie.

And the only person keeping him true to the rule was himself.

"I always said that I would sell it once everything was fixed," Freed stated, voice flickering into the lawyer tone he denied having.

"Then say something else," Laxus retorted, as if Freed could do that. "Look, I don't know what your life is like when you're in the city. But I know you seem to like being here. So why don't you just keep coming?"

"I-" Freed paused. He needed to think. "My real life is in the city. I can't-"

"Who says that your real life is just in the city? You've been coming here every weekend for months now, it's as much a part of your life as anything," Laxus stated, and his smile made Freed's resolve crumble slightly.

"I told myself that once the house-"

"This isn't about the house" Laxus insisted. "This is about you, fucking idiot. I think being here makes you happy. And if something makes you happy, why stop because of some bullshit rule you set yourself? That ain't smart."

Freed thought, for a moment.

It was almost nauseating to hear Laxus speaking like this, and Freed couldn't explain why. Well, perhaps he could, but the explanation wasn't something he was willing to entertain. Because the only real reason Laxus would be so insistent on Freed returning to Magnolia as he had been doing was because he wanted to keep seeing Freed. He wanted Freed to stop coming as much as Freed wanted to.

But Freed couldn't allow himself to accept that. Because if he did, he'd start wondering why. And then maybe he'd trick himself into thinking that his silly crush was reciprocated. He couldn't.

"There is… more work I could do," Freed spoke without thinking.

"I guess there is," Laxus nodded. "So you're sticking around? For the house"

"For the house."

It wasn't for the house. They both knew it.

[clockworkfromspace]

The Book v2 chapter 2

*Andrè begins to walk about the halls toward the door*

Chris was in there even though he was an Ultrabeings

Jea: Hi Chris!

He waves

Any teachers?

No? Good.

Mr. Taio: Okay everyone. Welcome to Ultra Study. If you took this class with me before, you should know that I am one of the seven most capable people equipped to teach this class.

*Andrè runs outside*

FREEEEEEEEDOMMMM

...

Freedom feels the same as being imprisoned

After school

Jea and Jenifer get on their bus

Josh goes to the car rider exit

*The next day*

Chris was already there

-Josh waits outside the bus ramp for the twins-

-their bus originally shows up-

Chris walks to the bus ramp but sees Josh and walks away

*Andrè shows up to school with a knife on his belt*

Morning

Chris was walking back needing to talk to jea

-the twins walk off the bus but Jea dresses like Jenifer so it's harder to tell them apart-

"Uuhh....jea?...."

-Jenifer subtlety points at Jea-

He looks at jea "Can I talk to you privately please?..."

Jea gasps

"How'd you know it was me? Do wolves have one sort of 6th sense or something?"

"No not really but this is important..."

Weird humans

Imma go inside

Jea: What do you need?

"Something happened yesterday and I need your help...."

Jea: Go on

"Can I talk to you without people around? Please"

Jenifer: I got where she goes

"Fine i-i'm...homeless my abusive brother threw me out yesterday"

Live in a tent-like I do

"So...the reason I wanted to talk to jea is that I trust her..."

Jenny: Need me to pound on your big bro? -she cracks her knuckles-

Need a hit?

Jea: No more fighting! You promised Jenny.

Just stole a night vision scope yesterday

Jenny: I promised I'd fight less.

Well I'm a free spirit

No parents

No relatives

No love or compassion

Jenifer: You dude, who are you anyway?

Andrè

I'm a hitman

Sorta

If someone would hire me

Jenifer: I have a few enemies.

Jea: Jennyyyyy

Jenifer: Kidding! -she mouths- "Sort of"

Heh

So

Who are you, people

Jea looks at both of them

"I'm not leaving the two of you alone. Now back to Chris"

Jea: I'm Jea and this is my sister Jenny. That's all there really is to us.

"Really...."

So Chris

"Hm?"

Tents are 15 bucks at Walmart

"I am not living in no tent!"

Man up

I live in one

"And I have no money my brother has it all"

Get a job

Jea: No one should have to live in a tent.

Jenifer: I agree but it's not like there's a variety of options

Jea frowns

Welp

My mom left and my dads dead soooooo

Jea: Oh! I know. He can live with us

Jenifer: Dad would never let that slide

Jea: You're right

Jenifer: Though, they don't really need to know...

If they found out

I don't think they'd appreciate having enough bombs in their basement to cause world war 3

Jenifer: Then I'll take the heat.

Jea: Jenny no.

Jenifer: Were not debating this.

Well

It's nicer than waking up to 3 wolf spiders

Jea: By the way, you weren't serious about the bombs right?

Ummm

Maybe

But I do have sniper rifles and assault rifles

Jenifer: Dude, as cool as it sounds, no heavy artillery in the house. Maybe a few handguns. Something easy to hide.

Where the hell am I supposed to keep my mini-nuke?

I'm joking

Jea: Thank god

But where am I supposed to, keep my guns

Jea: How about you keep all of your things that could be used to incriminate you in your tent.

Jea: and OUT OF OUR HOUSE

Jenifer: Also, where are we going to keep them? Andre and Chris I mean.

Jea: no one uses the attic.

Jenifer: Too many webs to clean.

Jenifer: though, if they're willing to clean it out.

Meh

Can't be that bad

Jea turns to Chris

"What do you say?"

He smiles and nods

-later that day, at the end of school-

So

Jea: Our dad shouldn't be home but just in case, well sneak you through the back door

"And your mom?"

Jea: Dead.

"Oh.....i'm sorry for asking...."

Jea: Its fine.

Jenifer: Come on, our bus is this way

He nods and follows

*Andrè follows*

They get to the house-

-Jenifer leads them to the attic-

"thank you again"

Jea: Anything for a new friend.

Thanks

I only have my micro smg and my 2 revolvers

That's it

Jea: NO GUNS!

Jenifer: Chill out sis

"Dang.."

Hm?

Jea: what's wrong Chris

"N-nothing..."

Jea: Why'd you say dang?

Hello strange human

"Forget i said anything"

hello

my name’s jeff

Jea: What are you doing in our house?

idk i just popped into existence

so who are all of you?

Jea: I'm Jea, this is my twin sister Jenny, this our friend Chris, and some random guy named Andre

I'm a psychotic motherfucker with guns

-You all hear the front door-

Great combination

Chris turns into a puppy and hides

dude that is awesome

Jenifer: Quickly, get into the attic

Jea: And you, mystery guy, sorry but you've got to go

me?

Jenifer: Yeah you

ok *dissappears and reappears in the attic*

Mr. Kon: Girls I'm home!

-Jea walks to the living room- "Hi daddy"

Jenifer: Andre hurry up while Jea distracts him

*wonders why I had to go into the attic*

*Andrè sneaks to the attic*

*whispers*oh hey.

*whispers* why are we in here?

We're not supposed to be here

oh ok

-Jenifer closes it-

wanna see something cool andrè?

Sure

watch this... *morphs into a pit viper and slithers around andrè*

Cool

I would shoot you but that would compromise us

*morphs back into a human*

That would*

don’t shoot me

Mr. Kon notices Christ's tail

Mr. Kon: Jea, did you bring home another stray?

I’m an animagus. I can transfigure into a snake at will

Jenifer whispers: go with it

He yelps scared and runs off

Jea: Yeah. But don't be upset.

don’t laugh at me... *disappears and reappears behind André*

behind*

I can teleport too

Jenifer: I told her not to but look at his eyes.

Mr. Kon: I can't he keeps running off.

so whatcha wanna do why we’re stuck up here

Chris sits down in front of Mr. Kon and looks at him with sad eyes

Jea: Can we pleaaaase keep him?

-Mr. Kon notices a lack of man parts- "I think you mean her and..... Sure."

Jenifer: She meant him. Meet the world's first transgender dog.

Mr. Kon: The fuck?

Jea: SWEAR JAR!

The dog smiles at jenny

Mr. Kon: Are you kidding me?

Jea: Nope!

His tail wags a lot

He jumps on Mr. Kon

Mr. Kon: Ah

-the next day-

Chris wakes up

He gets ready and heads to the bus stop without being seen

*Andrè sneaks out the house and walks to school

Out*

*teleports from the attic to the first block*

Chris was in his first block

ooh hey. I remember you. u were that puppy!

He blushes "y-ya...."

*teleports behind Chris* I can transfigure into a snake

Chris stabs jeff before he spoke not knowing who it was

*writhes in pain* ow-owwww

"Oh god...... I'm so sorry" he bandages it up

i-it’s fine

I heal fairly fast too

*wound stops bleeding*

"So your not human either?"

no

idk what I am

I’m a teleporting animagus

and I have fairly fast healing abilities

"Which is not human"

yeah

"And you already know I'm not human but anyway what's your name I forgot to ask"

it’s jeff

yours?

"Chris"

well nice to meet you, Chris! *sticks hand out to shake Chris's hand*

Chris shakes his hand

so, who were the other people?

"Idk their classes...."

well, who were they?

"Jea and jenny"

*time skip to lunch*

Jea, Jenifer, and Josh show up

Together

Chris walks up to them he looks at jea and jenny "please don't be mad at me because of yesterday"

Jea: Mad about what?

*walks into the cafeteria and over to Chris*

hey guys

"About your dad seeing me... And hey"

*whispers to Chris* do other people at the school know about us having abilities or do we have to keep that hidden?

Jea: That wasn't your fault

Jenifer: It was a little. He could have stayed calm and rushed to the attic instead of running off as a puppy.

"Keep them hidden"

Jenifer: Though things worked out for the better

"Y-ya...."

damn... that means I gotta walk places

Jenifer: It's better to have him disguised as a puppy then hiding him like Andre

you guys must me Jea and Jenifer. I’m jeff

Jea: We already met

oh yeah

Jea: You popped into our house

still don’t know how I got there

"Ya"

thanks

I wanna pull a prank *smirks*

"On who?"

I don’t know

we gotta find a group of preppy girls

Jea: That would be mean.

I know

Jenifer: Yet funny.

but hella funny

Jenifer: I'm in.

Jea: Jennyyyyy.

ayy... i like your attitude *smiles and looks at jenifer* u seem pretty cool.

well chris can turn into a puppy, correct?

Jea: You're a bad influence -she glares at Jeff-

i know *smirks*

Jenifer: Not really, sweety. I was born this way. He has nothing to do with it

Jea: Yeah but he came up with the prank idea.

"Ya jeff i can.."

Jea: Besides, you've already been written up 11 times and it's only the third day of school.

Jea: Make that 15

Jea: CHRIS NOT YOU TOO

so the plan is, you’re gonna lure them over to you with the adorable puppy eyes

Josh: Can I help?

Jenifer: ew, no way.

"Oh no...."

and then i’m gonna be in snake form and i’m going to teleportin between them and you

teleport in between*

it’ll be great.

Jenifer: More of a jump scare than a prank.

and sure josh i guess you and jenifer can point chris out

yeah but still funny as hell

so you guys in?

"Yes!"

Jea turns around and crosses her arms

Jenifer: Hell yeah

Josh: Yep

-jenifer pushes Josh aside-