#She can catch every other trick in the book but this she misses?

[bloody-shadow666]

onLY THE C R O W N CAN PARDON YOU

jude

JUDE

"I'm starting to think he messed up with that wording"

J U D E

[map0fthes0ul7]

Heartbeats in the halls of academia.

Pairing: Dilf!Ceo!Professor!Jeonghan x Student!reader (ft. Jeonghan's clueless daughter Yena) ((Jeonghan is a whole combo here as y'all can see))

Warnings: Kinda angsty, but they get their happy ending, so hey, that's great!

Word count: 5407

Synopsis: Good ol' forbidden romance between Professor Jeonghan and his student y/n.

Author's note: I hope this one is also going to do well.

The towering figure of Yoon Jeonghan loomed at the front of the lecture hall, his presence commanding the undivided attention of every student seated before him. At 44, the CEO of Yoon Technologies had built an empire on innovation and foresight, and his reputation as a strict yet fair professor at the local university was nothing short of illustrious. With a keen eye that missed no detail and a wit that kept even the most brilliant minds on their toes, Professor Yoon had become a pillar of both the academic and business worlds.

As he lectured on the complexities of quantum mechanics, his voice reverberated through the hall, each word enunciated with knowledge and authority. He adorned a tailored suit, the dark fabric contrasting against his youthfully styled silver hair, his persona exuding a magnetic allure that was not lost on the students.

In the second row sat y/n, a passionate science student whose thoughts often drifted to realms beyond the subject at hand—specifically, to the man who stood just meters away. Y/n's pen poised above the notebook, the equations and theories interspersed with tiny scribbles and incoherent notes that betrayed a distracted mind. Though y/n was introverted, preferring the solace of books and music to the adventures that university life offered, there was one adventure that the heart seemed all too keen to embark upon—a dangerous dalliance with the professor.

Beside y/n, Yena's bright laughter broke the silence that had momentarily engulfed their small corner of the room. Yoon Yena, with her vivacious smile and inexplicable energy, was the image of collegiate exuberance. She was the only child of Jeonghan and the dearest friend y/n had at the university, their bond forged through shared interests and a love for science.

But it was a love of another manner that had y/n's thoughts in turmoil. Unbeknownst to cheerful Yena, y/n harbored a secret adoration for her father, a sentiment that flooded y/n with guilt and longing in equal measure.

As the bell signaled the end of the lecture, the students began to pack up their belongings, the buzz of excited chatter filling the air. Yena leaned over to y/n, her eyes glistening with plans and propositions.

"Are you coming out with us tonight?" Yena's invitation was as predictable as it was well-intentioned.

With a gentle shake of the head, y/n deflected, "I've got a lot on my plate. Maybe next time.

Yena pouted, playful but understanding. "You work too hard, y/n. You should live a little," she teased before bounding off to catch up with a group of her other friends.

Y/n was left alone as the last of the students tricked out of the lecture hall. Alone, that is, except for the man still standing at the front. With the hall emptied, Professor Yoon began to gather his own materials, his astute eyes catching y/n's lingering presence. An imperceptible silence stretched between them, filled only by the faint echo of Yena's laughter as it trailed off into the hallways.

"Is there something you didn't understand about the lecture?" Jeonghan queried, his tone a mix of concern and curiosity.

Mutely, y/n stood and approached the desk where he stood, clutching the notebook like a lifeline. Each step was measured, the heartbeat thundering in y/n's chest a stark contrast to the calm demeanor attempted to be displayed.

"Actually, Professor, I was wondering if you had any suggestions for extra reading. I find the subject fascinating," y/n admitted, looking up through lashes with a sincerity that was as indisputable as it was alluring to the older man.

A smile tugged at the corners of Jeonghan's lips. "I admire your dedication," he praised before writing down a list of books on a piece of paper and handing it over. As their fingertips brushed, an electric jolt of unspoken tension passed between them—an acknowledgement of something deeper than the exchange of scholarly advice.

"I appreciate it," y/n murmured, lingering for a moment too long, and then, with a final glance, turned to leave.

Jeonghan watched y/n's retreating figure, the rush of something forbidden stirring within him. It was a crossing of lines he was usually adept at maintaining, but the more he came to know y/n, the more difficult it became to uphold those barriers. He was acutely aware of the implications, of the ethics of his position. With a small shake of his head, he tried to dismiss the thoughts as mere weakness—at least until the next lecture.

~

A few days had passed since y/n had approached Jeonghan for extra reading material, and the tension in the air had not dissipated but rather intensified with every sidelong glance exchanged in the lecture hall. Y/n had delved into the recommended texts, each page offering both an insight into quantum mechanics and a connection to Jeonghan that provided a solace for the consuming thoughts.

Yet, the fantasies that played in y/n's mind were a dangerous escape from reality, with their tendrils looping ever tighter around a heart that shouldn't yearn so fervently for the forbidden. In the quiet of y/n's room, filled with stacks of books and soft music playing in the background, it was simple to imagine a different world; one where it wasn't wrong to want someone so unattainable.

Despite the internal conflict, y/n had excelled in the assignments, with Jeonghan's teachings echoing not just in the academic work, but in the daydreams that found their way onto the pages of a private journal.

~

One particularly late evening, deep in the embrace of the campus library's solitude, y/n realized a crucial textbook—a cornerstone of the upcoming thesis—was missing. It was a rare find, one usually kept in the professors' private collections. Without it, the research would be incomplete, an academic yearning so urgent that it nudged y/n towards an impulsive decision.

Remaining students were few as y/n made the way to Jeonghan's office, the silence interrupted only by the hesitant rhythm of y/n's steps. Reaching the closed door, y/n paused, the words 'Private' and 'Professor Yoon Jeonghan' neatly etched on the plaque. Stealing a breath to quell the rising nerves, y/n knocked softly.

The door creaked open, revealing Jeonghan in his sanctum, shrouded by the soft glow of his desk lamp, his attention undivided from the papers he was marking. He looked up, surprise evident in his features, replaced quickly by an accommodating warmth.

"y/n, what brings you here so late?" he inquired, motioning for y/n to enter.

"The book I need for my thesis isn’t in the library. I was wondering if you might have a copy I could borrow," y/n explained with a hopeful timbre.

A moment of contemplation passed over Jeonghan's face as he stood and walked to one of the many shelves lining the walls. With purposeful strides, he retrieved the desired tome and handed it to y/n with a gentle smile.

"Our little secret," he said softly, an undercurrent of playfulness in his voice that set y/n's heart racing.

As y/n reached out to take the book, their hands touched again, and this time, neither pulled away. Drawn by a force neither understood nor could articulate, they moved closer, a magnetic pull zeroing the space between them.

The first kiss came as a whisper against y/n's lips, soft but filled with the power of suppressed desire. It was a convergence of emotion, a silent confession of the feelings that swirled with reckless abandon in that confined space.

Professor and student, they knew the gravity of what they were doing, yet the kiss deepened, fueled by a hunger that had been waiting in the shadows of their professional façade. It was in that stolen moment, with the taste of the forbidden making the air thick with tension, that y/n and Jeonghan crossed a line from which there was no return.

Outside, the world continued unaware, stars peppering the night sky. Inside, two hearts wrestled with what it meant to be bound by society's rules yet led astray by the anarchy of love. It was only the beginning, the bursting forth of a story written in the quiet language of shared glances and unspoken promises, with consequences neither could predict nor fully comprehend.

~

In the aftermath of the kiss, the world seemed to stand still. Y/n clutched the treasured book against a chest that heaved with emotions too complex to untangle. Y/n and Jeonghan remained in the quiet cocoon of his office, the taste of their forbidden embrace lingering, an indelible mark on both their souls.

"Y/n," Jeonghan’s voice was a hushed murmur, torn between duty and desire. He stepped back, the space between them expanding like an unfathomable chasm. His eyes, usually so clear and confident, now swam with a conflicting storm. 

This was a line they could traverse only once. The kiss—a single brush of lips—had sealed a secret pact, a silent agreement to the flames that licked at the foundations of the world they knew.

"We should forget this happened," Jeonghan's statement was heavy with regret, but his stare held y/n with an intensity that belied his words. He could not un-write the moment any more than y/n could, and they both knew it.

Y/n nodded, though every fiber protested. "Yes, Professor," came the whisper, a futile attempt to sew closed the threads they had so daringly pulled loose. Y/n left the room then, the book a weighty token of a shift in the equilibrium that resonated with every step away from Jeonghan’s office.

~

In the following weeks, the tension was only mounted. Their interactions in class were laden with a newfound formality, every word and gesture measured with surgical precision. Students and faculty remained oblivious to the undercurrent that hummed beneath the surface, but y/n and Jeonghan were acutely aware. Each glance shared was a brush stroke adding detail to the clandestine picture they had accidentally begun to paint.

Yena, blissfully ignorant of the drama unfolding, continued to be the link between her father and y/n, a bridge that neither could avoid crossing. She commented innocently on how studious y/n was and how proud her father seemed of y/n's academic progress, unwittingly tightening the knot at the juncture where personal and professional lines blurred.

~

The university’s annual science fair arrived like a gusting wind, all excitement and fluttering papers, with lectures giving way to demonstrations and experiments. Y/n's project, deeply influenced by the recent nights spent traipsing through quantum theory, drew an impressed crowd which included both Yena and, inevitably, Jeonghan.

As y/n presented the findings, expertly explained the complex mechanisms at play, a nervous energy coursed through veins. Jeonghan was there, a silent sentinel whose gaze bore into y/n with an intensity that was difficult to ignore. With each accomplishment that shone in y/n's eyes, Jeonghan's pride was matched by the quiet terror of the mounting bond forming between mentor and student, one he could neither publicly acknowledge nor tear his eyes from.

Yena clapped the loudest when the presentation ended, her cheers carrying a genuine love and pride for y/n. She threw arms around her friend in a congratulatory hug, seemingly deaf to the irregular tempo of y/n's heart—a rhythm that danced uneasily to a melody that spelled out jeopardy in haunting notes.

It was later that day, when the crowds had thinned and the buzz had dulled to a background hum, that Jeonghan approached y/n under the guise of discussing the project further. Yena, ever the social butterfly, had been whisked away by classmates, leaving them in a rare pocket of tranquility amidst the chaos.

"Your understanding of the subject is remarkable," Jeonghan said, his voice low, a treacherous vibrato beneath the compliment.

"Thank you, sir. Your guidance has been invaluable," y/n replied, acutely aware of the double entendre that laced their words.

Their eyes met, and in them, the reflections of that night in Jeonghan's office was a moment frozen in time, pulsing with life unto its own. They spoke of the project at length but danced around the conversation they truly wanted to have—a dangerous tango of words.

The fair wound down, and the sun dipped low, casting an orange glow over the campus grounds. Jeonghan and y/n wandered aimlessly, caught in the gravity of each other's company. The quiet became a living, breathing entity between them—one that whispered the truths they could not voice but felt with a fervor that neither logic nor ethics could silence.

~

As autumn bled into winter, the campus transformed under a blanket of white. Each flake of snow that settled on the university echoed the silent, frozen sentiment that hung between Professor Yoon Jeonghan and y/n. The secret of their singular kiss was guarded behind the somber walls of professionalism and duty, yet it simmered beneath the ice, yearning for the thaw of admittance.

Y/n navigated the semester with the dual burden of advancing academic ambitions and the weighty secret shared with Jeonghan. The more entrenched y/n became in the scientific exploration, the deeper the mental connection wove its tendrils through thoughts and motives, linking every discovery back to the man who was both mentor and forbidden infatuation.

The precarious balance of their interactions came under quiet scrutiny through the occasional curious glance from peers or the inadvertent, lingering handshake at the end of an earnest academic debate. Yet no concrete suspicion surfaced, their careful orchestration of exchanges nothing if not masterful. To the world, y/n was Jeonghan's most promising student, nothing more, and their determination to maintain that facade grew even as the hidden truth of their affection pulled them together like the unseen forces they so often discussed in lectures.

The approaching break brought a bittersweet solace, a respite from the constant need to conceal their attraction within the confines of the university. Yet, the absence only served to magnify the unresolved tension, to stretch the silence until it sang with a sweet, near unbearable pitch.

As the last of y/n's finals were submitted and the student body dissipated, the quiet of the campus became a reminder of that electric moment in Jeonghan's office, raising questions that thrummed in y/n's pulse.

~

During the winter break, y/n stayed on campus, lost in the research and theories that did little to distract from thoughts of Jeonghan. The resounding hollowness of the hallways echoed a sense of emptiness that y/n couldn't shake.

Yena, in her usual effervescent manner, had taken a trip abroad, her messages arriving as bursts of joy and snatches of escapades, a contrast to the solemnity that y/n found in books and quiet contemplation. In her absence, the link between y/n and Jeonghan seemed to grow even more tenuous, a frayed connection that was at once a source of agony and comfort.

Y/n's solitude was broken one late evening when a soft knock at the dorm door reverberated through the stillness. A glance through the peephole revealed a sight that caused y/n's heart to cease before thundering against ribs: Jeonghan, adorned in a nondescript coat, a cautious hesitance etched into his dignified features.

Opening the door, y/n found the ability to speak had fled, leaving a silence that Jeonghan stepped into with a careful poise, his presence in the small space nothing short of overwhelming.

"I wanted to check on you," he started, his words tightrope walkers navigating the dangerous height of their implications. "You shouldn't be alone over the holidays, y/n."

The concern in his voice was genuine, but it unfurled into the room like smoke, clouding the boundaries they had painstakingly erected. Y/n could only nod, the familiar guilt twining anew with the persistent want that had no rightful place amongst the ethics of their association.

Jeonghan didn't move to leave, nor did y/n close the door, their mutual hesitation a dance they both led. It was Jeonghan who broke first, his hand reaching out to touch y/n's, a contact that exceeded caution and sparked the return of all the emotions they had tried to suppress.

"Perhaps I should go," he whispered, though neither moved.

"Perhaps," y/n mirrored, the admission laden with the things that couldn't be said.

In the end, Jeonghan did leave, but the ghost of his touch lingered, a testament to the crumbling facade that was no longer resilient in the absence of prying eyes.

~

Classes resumed and the new semester began with a fresh snowfall, a reflective canvas upon which their continued charade could be etched. Y/n tackled studies with a renewed fervor, if only as an attempt to barricade thoughts of Jeonghan behind walls of formulae and hypotheses.

Their office encounters were strictly scheduled, terse discussions of academic progress marked by the rigid adherence to professionalism. The warmth that had once highlighted their interactions now lost to a cold formality, necessary for their survival within the confines of the institution.

~

A chance meeting in the library offered an illusion of normalcy. Y/n was buried in research when Jeonghan approached, a slight tilt to his lips that didn't quite qualify as a smile.

"I see you're still spending your evenings with quantum theories," he commented, a careful neutrality underpinning his tone.

"It's captivating," y/n returned, equally guarded. "There's so much yet to be understood."

"Indeed," Jeonghan murmured, his eyes holding y/n's for a moment too revealing. "Keep up the good work, y/n."

The exchange was routine to any onlooker, but laden with the silent acknowledgment of the growing space between them—a void filled with unsaid words and unacknowledged yearning.

Yet as the semester marched on, the ice around them began to grow thinner. Smiles became more frequent, shared laughter erupted over shared in-jokes about scientific anomalies, and cautious optimism breathed life into their covert looks. The escalating risk of their connection weighed heavily upon them, a dangerous game played on the edge of discovery.

~

Y/n's research led to a conference, a gathering of minds where y/n's work, under Jeonghan's guidance, would be presented. The excitement was tinged with trepidation—not over the showcase of the project, but the proximity to Jeonghan it would entail.

They traveled separately, a necessary precaution, meeting only at the conference hall amongst a sea of attendees. Y/n's presentation was met with accolades, a shining moment that Yena, who had rejoined campus life with gusto, witnessed firsthand. She beamed with pride, a supportive anchor not just for y/n, but unexpectedly, for her father as well.

The final evening of the conference saw attendees at a formal dinner. Y/n sat at a table with Yena and other students, Jeonghan at the head table, both keenly aware of each other's presence.

As the evening drew on, y/n stepped out onto a balcony for air, the stars overhead a vast, undisturbed witness. The door behind creaked open, and without needing to look, y/n knew it was Jeonghan who stepped out to join.

They stood side by side in silence, looking out into the darkness. Then, in a voice barely audible over the whispering wind, Jeonghan spoke—the words cutting through the months of unspoken truths and restrained feelings.

"I can't do this anymore," he confessed, his profile outlined by the ambient light. "Pretending that I don't—"

He stopped, the silence swallowing the rest, the implications hanging suspended in the air around them. Y/n turned to face him, the turbulence of emotions clear in y/n's gaze.

"I know," y/n replied, the admission a relief as it tore through the last barrier of denial.

They didn't touch, didn't step closer, but in that moment, the thaw occurred, and the unyielding frost that had encased their desires began to melt. It wasn't a resolution, nor an answer to the labyrinth of moral and professional repercussions, but an acknowledgment of the powerful, undeniable reality of their connection.

~

The return to campus was fraught with a new tension, an awareness that the thread they had been tugging on was near its breaking point—a point of decision that loomed inevitable on the horizon of their intertwined journey.

As spring arrived, the university campus bloomed with vibrant life, a stark contrast to the inner turmoil that churned within y/n. Jeonghan's confession at the conference had not been forgotten, it's echo a constant undercurrent to every lecture attended, every paper graded, every sidelong glance they shared. The thread that connected them—an intangible, delicate thing—stretched taut with the pressure of unfulfilled desires and unspoken words.

Every brush of their fingers as y/n handed in assignments, every shared look laden with meaning, sent vibrations along that ever-tensing thread. It was souring the purity of their academic relationship, tinting what should have been a professional mentorship with hues of something far deeper and more perilous.

Yena, as cheerful and oblivious as ever, spoke excitedly of future plans: graduation on the horizon, job prospects, and the pride she felt for her father and her best friend, y/n. She remained the picture of ignorance to the drama unfolding so close to her, unaware of how perilously close y/n and her father were to crossing a line that could not be uncrossed.

~

It was a late night in the laboratory, y/n absorbed in research, when the thread finally snapped. Jeonghan entered unexpectedly, the click of the door a jarring sound in the quiet. Their eyes met in an immediate and profound recognition of the end of all their self-imposed restraints.

"I can't do this," Jeonghan spoke first, his voice strained with the weight of months of confinement and hidden truth. "I can’t keep pretending that I don't feel anything for you. It’s affecting everything I do."

Y/n's research papers fluttered to the floor as if mirroring the collapsing pretenses between them. "I don't want to pretend either," y/n confessed, the heart's unguarded honesty breaking free at last.

Stepping closer, they abandoned caution as Jeonghan reached out to gently cradle y/n's face. The chemistry they had dissected abstractly now manifested physically, irrefutable and demanding to be acknowledged.

Their kiss, unlike the first, was not a question but an answer—vehement, deep, and brimming with the months of tension that had built up between them. It spoke of longing, of the undeniable attraction they’d battled against, and the collective resignation to the torrent of emotions they could no longer contain.

It was the beginning of something neither could fully understand nor control, a tale of two souls intertwined in a dance as old as time. But entwined with their newfound freedom was the weight of the myriad of complications they were set to face.

Reality crashed over them like a cascading wave as soon as they parted—the comprehension of their actions rippling through each with chilling sobriety. Together, they'd breached the sanctity of the student-teacher bond, ventured into the realm of the heart where logic had no domain.

"There will be consequences," Jeonghan said after a moment, the professor in him re-gaining the upper hand despite the lingering sensation of y/n’s lips. "We have too much to lose."

"And what if I think it's worth it?" y/n challenged, despair and hopelessness colliding with the flickering embers of what had just ignited between them.

Jeonghan's expression softened, his hand still resting on y/n's cheek. "Then I fear for what may come. For us, for Yena... everything could come crashing down."

They stood amongst the scattered papers, a symbol of the order they had thrown to the wind. The impact of their decision began to take shape—rumors, disciplinary actions, and the shattering of a young woman's familial image were all at stake.

Y/n withdrew from Jeonghan's touch, the weight of guilt enveloping the brief warmth. "We need to think this through. We can't... not without considering all the angles."

The acknowledgment of their reality, harsh and unyielding, settled between them as they parted that night—their relationship irrevocably altered, the path ahead fraught with uncertainty.

~

In the days that followed, the silhouette of normality was a guise they both donned with reluctance. Jeonghan returned to his authoritative role with an impenetrable facade, y/n to the studious demeanor that had been a constant before everything changed.

Yet the transparency of their previous interactions was forever clouded; every word, every assessment was now a labyrinthine exercise in extreme caution, each hyper-aware of any sign that might reveal their secret.

Yena, ever the doting daughter, and the loyal friend, began to notice a shift—not in her father, nor in y/n, but in the air that seemed to crackle with an energy around them. Her intuition nagged at her, whispering of changes she could not place nor fathom.

"What's going on with you and dad?" she asked y/n one evening, her gaze searching for some elusive truth.

"It's just the pressure of the semester," y/n deflected, the lie a bitter taste on the tongue. "We're both feeling it."

In her heart, y/n knew the time was slipping away, that the truth was a beast that would not stay caged indefinitely. This secret shared was a burden too heavy, a truth too poignant to remain hidden.

As y/n watched the last vestiges of daylight wane from the sky, there was an understanding that the story they had begun was far from over. The pages yet to be written loomed large and unpredictable, but it was clear that the journey they faced was one neither Jeonghan nor y/n could travel alone.

~

As the semester waned, the tension between Jeonghan and y/n had become almost palpable, a volatile cocktail of fear and longing that hovered over their every interaction. They moved through the motions of their respective roles with a deliberate caution that belied the undercurrent of suppressed emotions churning beneath the surface.

In the quiet confines of the library, y/n poured over textbooks, the lines and equations blurring as the thoughts circled back relentlessly to Jeonghan and the looming inevitability of their secret being exposed. It was a mental tightrope walk that left little room for error, the risk of condemnation and ruin growing with each stolen moment.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan, ensconced in his office and the rigorous demands of his CEO duties, found himself waging a constant battle between duty and the whispers of his heart. The sight of y/n's handwriting on a submitted paper could elicit a storm within him that took monumental effort to quell.

The rumors that were once mere shadows in the corridors of the university began to take shape, whispers that grew bolder with each passing day. Though no clear evidence presented itself, the growing sense of unease was undeniable. Their relationship, though rigorously guarded, emitted a frequency that seemed to invite scrutiny from those with a watchful eye.

Yena’s intuition pushed her to observe more closely, the daughter’s connection to her father serving as a conduit for her suspicions. Jeonghan's name, when coupled with y/n's in conversation, elicited a reaction she couldn't ignore—a sudden tightness around the eyes, a fractional delay in response. These were puzzle pieces she couldn't quite fit together, but her determination to understand the picture they formed intensified.

Y/n knew something had to give. The reality of the situation was a crossroads approaching at breakneck speed, an intersection that promised collision.

~

Y/n sat in the small cafe off campus that had become a refuge, the murmur of outside life a welcome intrusion to the cocoon of silence. As assignments were graded and lecture notes revised, the bell above the door chimed, signaling a new patron's arrival. With a hesitant glance upward, y/n's heart staggered as Yena breezed in, her eyes scanning the room until they locked onto y/n.

They greeted each other, but the usual ease was strained, a visible tension threading its way through the exchange. As Yena sat down, her convivial facade slowly crumbled, revealing a resolve that was as surprising as it was concerning.

"We need to talk," Yena stated, the gravity in her voice anchoring the moment in seriousness. "About you and my dad."

A cold dread settled over y/n, the words echoing like a death knell to the carefully constructed denial that had been clung to for far too long.

"There's nothing to talk about, Yena," y/n managed, though the conviction fell flat, a kite without wind.

But Yena persisted, her gaze unyielding. "I know there's something you're not telling me. And it's killing me not knowing."

Words failed y/n then, the truth a barricade too high and thick to cross. Yet the look in Yena's eyes pulled at something deep within, a plea for honesty that was as raw as it was heartrending.

~

In the wake of Yena's confrontation, the dominoes of their secret began to totter, threatening to tumble into chaos. Heavy-hearted and knowing that the time had come, y/n sought Jeonghan out, the need to discuss the next step a fire that refused to be doused.

Jeonghan's office stood as a symbol of their forbidden connection, the site of their passion, of furtive kisses and the echoing silence of unspoken vows. As y/n stepped in, it felt like crossing into another realm, a place where the walls whispered their memories back to them.

"We need to decide what we're doing," y/n began, the urgency of the situation straining the voice.

Jeonghan looked up, his features etched with lines of a silent struggle. "The risk is becoming too great," he admitted, a resignation sweeping through his words.

The conversation that ensued was as difficult as it was necessary, a navigation through the murky waters of ethics, emotions, and consequences. The affection that had blossomed was undeniable, the connection strong, but it was tethered to a reality they could no longer ignore.

They deliberated on coming clean, on facing the storm together, but the image of Yena—happy, bright, and unaware—loomed between them like a specter of potential disaster.

~

Days later, as spring flowers burgeoned outside, an air of somber finality settled within the hallowed halls of the university. Y/n and Jeonghan made the decision to step into the light, to confront the potential consequences head-on, rather than continue in the shadows.

They met with the university board, an assembly of faces stern and inquisitive, disclosing the truth of their relationship in stark terms. The ripple of shock and murmuring that followed their confession painted a clear image of the repercussions to come.

As the process of institutional inquiry commenced, Yena was told, the news delivered in gentle but unwavering honesty. Her world, once so stable and sure, fractured under the weight of the revelation. Heartache and betrayal warred within her as she grappled to reconcile the father and friend she knew with the personas they had just shattered.

~

The inquiry was a tempestuous ordeal—an external evaluation driving nails into the framework of their careers and personal lives. Jeonghan faced the repercussions within the academic sphere, his role as a professor brought into question, while his standing as CEO wavered under the industry's scrutinizing gaze.

Y/n endured the piercing looks and hushed whispers of fellow students, the isolation a stark contrast to the prior camaraderie. Yet, the heaviest burden bore down in the form of Yena's hurt—a chasm that yawned wide and uncertain in the landscape of their friendship.

Amidst the fallout, Jeonghan and y/n found solace in their shared resolve. The decision to bring their relationship to light, though devastating in its wake, was a testament to the sincerity of their feelings—a declaration that, despite the cost, bore a haunting beauty amidst the ruins.

~

The proceedings concluded with Jeonghan stepping down from his university position, a move that quelled part of the raging storm. His influence at Yoon Technologies remained strong, salvaged by years of dedication and success that spoke louder than the whispers of scandal.

Y/n faced the disciplinary actions of the board, sanctions that would forever mark an academic record but could not extinguish the passion for the science that had brought them together in the first place.

In the aftermath, Yena's relationship with y/n and her father saw a tenuous beginning towards healing. It was a process fraught with pain and introspection, where forgiveness had to be measured against the sense of betrayal that lingered like a stubborn shadow.

The future remained an abstract notion, one that promised difficulty but was not devoid of hope. Within the quiet corners of their reality, Jeonghan and y/n nurtured the bond they had fought to preserve, a connection that spoke of resilience and quiet strength.

They emerged from the tempest changed—not unscathed, but perhaps wiser and certainly more aware of the preciousness of the love they carried with them into the unclear path ahead, a silent promise of resolution held tight in their joined hands.

[drangercore]

Love and Other Historical Accidents by @pacific-rimbaud​

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy never intended to blow up their life's work, but that's rather what they've gone and done. Now they're trapped 200 years in the past, with a broken Time Turner, a missing snuff box, a handful of overly-eligible daughters, and a House-elf in a cable knit cardigan. It will require the combined power of their keen intellects to get them home, if they'd stop arguing long enough to use them. As it turns out, history is just one damned accident after another.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Relationship: Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy

Art by @gingerhuneybee​, @jjuuppiter​, @jaxxartbox​, & yours truly

My first fanbind! 

L&OHA is an impeccable story and is so very dear to me. This was the fic that made me go “I want that on my shelf!”, so here we are. 

keep reading for more binding info and to see my gushing on the fic.

QUICK SPECS

153,854 words | 571 pages | 5″ x 8.5″ 

Binding Method: 3 Piece In Boards Bradel  Body Font: Adobe Caslon Pro Decorative Font: IM Fell English

I am very proud of this book, having accomplished many firsts with it. My first book that I rounded and backed, sewed double-core endbands on, painted the edges, and used toner reactive foil and HTV on!

ON THE STORY

Sighs. What more can I say? It’s simply brilliant. A unique multifaceted story with incredible dynamics, clever foreshadowing, great character studies of Draco and Hermione, and such beloved original characters. It’s comedic and refreshing but it also takes on grief and goodbyes, and heartbreak. It’s fucking romantic and also So nuanced. I dislike stories that spoon-feed every little thing about the character, so the parlor tricks on this one? Ate every crumb of it. It was filled with implications and was misleading in the best sense. You’ve got to be an astute reader to catch some things the first round (which I definitely wasn’t). 

While it doesn’t entirely shy away from typical lovey-dovies, the regard for mundanity and the inconsequential, I just find more inherently romantic. The exploration on time travel and the vivid prose further underscores the depth of PR’s talent. She captures so eloquently, the mind of an extremely logical person in a very illogical experience. I saw myself in Hermione so many times. The story demands to be read again and revels upon doing so. Pacific Rimbaud is such an incredible writer *sobs* all her works are simply a masterpiece. 

That said, this beautiful story deserves to be turned into a physical book.

DESIGN PLAN (or lack thereof) 

This is my first fanfic project and my third book overall which I must say was quite a leap considering my very little binding experience. I think the demon small niggling part at the back of my head got the best of me and positively thought she could make a relatively fastidious book despite the lack of skill. BUT nothing can stop me when I am overly enthusiastic about something, thus began my 2 month research, soaking up every gobbet of binding info in reach. As far as my book binding journey goes, gathering supplies was the hardest part lol. Bookbinding is not a common hobby in the Philippines so it was tedious to to look for materials and/or to settle on alternatives.

I credit 70% of the 4 month stretch of this project to my indecision. The novelty and sheer excitement with a new hobby, I think, divested me to properly conceptualize heh. I redid my typeset 1 billion times because I kept switching softwares: Word→ Pages→ InDesign. I probably have 8 versions of the typeset that will never see the light of day. Anyway, I did finally get the stuff done. Here’s my little design dump:

Nothing symbolic about the design really. I just worked around elements I thought were appropriate with the regency era and time traveling aspect: vines/ flowers and the time turner. I tried to reflect PR’s elegant writing in the book so hopefully I did it some justice. I added my fave works for this fic too and even drew fanart myself, here are some of them:

BINDING

I watched DAS bookbinding religiously during my research phase and I knew then that I wanted to someday follow his in-boards 3-piece bradel tutorial, but it wasn’t supposed to be so early on in my binding journey. One look at this book however threw me off course. It was incredibly ambitious of me, so I guess I deserved all the stress I endured in the process. I was supposed to trim the edges in between glueing the spine and rounding/backing, but I only had my poorly sharpened Php145 wood chisel to finish the task. That and nursing the finger my chisel wounded took enough time for the glue to dry, so I was fiddling with a stiff textblock the entire time after. I learnt along the way that a blow dryer and bone folder will be your best friends (and plenty of patience). I’d also like to apologize to my neighbors if you heard any hammering at 1am 😳 

The covers were... finicky. For some reason, midway, I decided to make either covers differently, and all to the good because the one made following DAS’ tutorial ended up slightly warping. DAS’ was with two 1.25mm boards glued together, while my experimental one was with a single 2.5mm board of which I peeled layers off of to reduce its thickness in half as needed.  (see pictures below for reference)

A lot of how the book looks like now is either born out of impulse or a desperate remedy. The book in turn is very gold. Chapter headers were impulsively foiled with gold laser reactive foil (so much for illustrating the headers only to cover them up haha *eye twitches*). 

I accidentally stained the edges while smoothing with black sandpaper so I covered the mess with an admix of Sakura acrylic paint in black and Liquitex acrylic ink in iridescent gold (Paint order: 1 layer gold- 2 thin layers black- 3 layers gold).

 I am very proud of my sewn endbands as this was my very first attempt at doing a double-core. I used DMC cotton threads in cream (712) and gold (E3821). Below is a close-up because why not. (as you can see, I had some flaking on the paint, luckily this was on the bottom edge so I fixed the issue on the more visible sides.)

I don’t like the bookcloth selection where I’m from (if there’s anything at all) so I made my own with pastel blue eco-ramie cloth, flour paste, and 80gsm paper. I ordered my fabric online and the shade was too icing-like. It looked tacky so I bleached to lighten. The white cloth also came from the same fabric which I bleached till it paled to white.

Titling was one of my biggest worries because majority of binders I saw were using a cricut to cut HTV. I almost entertained the idea of cutting it manually or even painting or embroidery, but to my luck, I found a local shop that offers vinyl ! cutting !! service !!! I sent them my design and they cut and weeded the vinyl for me. I chose white for the title and metallic gold for the vine detail. I messed up applying the word “historical” though, but let’s pretend i did it on purpose for the vintage feel.

Four months of faffing later, I have this story in corporeal form! Overall, I’m overjoyed with the outcome and I’d like to thank PR for the opportunity to have such a wonderful story on my shelf (and free to be read by anyone!)

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! 

[spicywhenspeaking]

Lost & Found : Noah x Reader OneShot

you're surprising your husband Noah while he's on tour! It's literally just porn 😀 because I wanted to practice writing so MINORS DNI

warnings: unprotected sex (p in v), oral (f/m receiving), throat fucking 🙈, umm creampie? How much are supposed to put in here, whiny Noah, men begging, two hot people in love.

this is a work of fiction!!!!

I also used promt 76&97 from here! And if you like it feel free to request more! 🫶🏻

•・◦●○◎◉◎○●◦・•

Trying to keep this a surprise has been virtually impossible, keeping Noah in the dark for weeks about my plan to come and surprise him while Bad Omens was touring in Europe took every trick in the book.

“Oh I have no idea why my location isn't working right now babe, you know I'm so technology-challenged.” I lie. “I’m so lost with this stuff when you're gone, I'll try to fix it soon” I reassure him as I'm racing around our house packing my bag because my flight leaves in 3 hours and of course, I'm running late. “I’m lost without you too baby, I miss you so much, when are you coming out to join us?” He asks and I can hear the sadness in his voice. “Soon my love, I promise” We say our goodbyes and I pack the last of my stuff racing out the door to catch my Uber to the airport.

I’ve been coordinating with the Nicks and Jolly while planning so they have a spare key waiting for me at the hotel they're staying at so I can sneak into Noah’s room before they get back from their show.

For some reason I’m nervous, I have no idea why. Why am I nervous to surprise my husband on tour? It’s like that gitty first-date nervousness. I’m just so excited to see him again, smell him, feel his arms around me and I really, really, really miss having sex. I had to stay back for the first 4 weeks of their European tour because my sister needed help with her kids and I needed to be there for her. Now that she’s doing better I can go join him and I’m so excited. He thinks I’m staying back for an extra two weeks to help my sister but that was another lie. The flight goes by faster than I expected and soon I’m in another Uber heading to the hotel.

I approached the front desk and tell them I was picking up a key that should have been left for Mrs.Davis.

“Ah, yes, Mrs. Davis right here” The receptionist hands me the key card and directs me to the elevator.

“Thank you!” I say, waving and turning towards the elevators.

I get to the room and head inside, Noah is relatively clean so there’s just an opened suitcase on the desk, but the room was cleaned earlier so the bed is made.

I set my suitcase down and take out the things I need to shower. I want to scrub the scent of travel off of me before Noah gets me back. If my timing is right I should have another hour or so before they get back. I jump into the shower and wash off with the body wash I know Noah likes, jasmine and white tea, fresh and sweet. Finishing up I wrap myself in a towel and dry off my hair. I slather on some lotion and slide into my red lace lingerie set that drives him crazy. The garters hug my thighs deliciously, the color popping against my alabaster skin that's slowly becoming covered in more tattoos.

Now I’m just playing the waiting game, I get a text from Folio that they were twenty minutes away from the hotel. My heart is beating so fast, I am so excited to see Noah, I'm laying on the couch waiting, starting to feel a little awkward when I hear the door ping from the key card swiping to unlock. I sit up and move to spread myself across the bed, my head resting in one hand with the other propped on my hip. The door opens and closes and I hear him whistle to himself as he walks down the short hallway towards the bed. He comes into view, eyes almost bulging out of his head when he sees me, and then he tosses his stuff on the ground and throws himself on the bed wrapping his arms tightly around me. “Oh my god, you're here” he mumbles into my hair “You're here, you're real and you're here” he pulls back to hold my head in between his hands. He leans down, and kisses me, moving his lips hungrily against mine seeking entrance into my mouth quickly moving from a gentle kiss hello to a passionate tangle of tongues. “I can't believe you're here” he pants in between kisses “I missed you so much” his hands are moving all over my body “God, you're so soft” he pulls away and looks down to admire my lace-clad body “fuck, you're killing me here” he whispers in a hoarse voice as his hips press into my side and I feel the hard outline of his cock. I reach my hand down to press against his solid erection and feel the wet spot growing on the outside of his thin sweatpants.

“Do I really turn you on that much?” I ask him seductively. “You don’t even fucking know” he responds and dives towards my chest, nipping and sucking at my skin, a moan escapes my mouth when his hand kneads my breast and tweaks my hardening nipple “Ah, Noah, I missed you too” I gasp out. “Mmm, yes, say my name again,” he pants, “please Baby, I need to hear your voice” his voice comes out in a whine. “Mmmm, Noah, Noah, Noah, I missed you so much, my Noah” I graze my hands across his cheek and stare into his beautiful brown eyes, and brush my lips against his. “I missed you so much,” I say to him warmly “I need you so badly” I take his hand and place it against my warming core. “Please Noah, I need you to touch me.”

His hand cups my sex and a wicked smile spreads across his face, wiggling his fingers her purrs “Wow baby, crotchless panties, you really missed me.” His index finger slides in between my folds and he groans “You're so fucking wet” he puts his finger in his mouth and sucks the evidence of my arousal off of his fingers. He sighs “Fuuuck, I missed the way you taste, I can’t believe I survived these last weeks without you.” Noah kisses me again, leaving a trail of wet kisses down my body, stopping to lick and bite down on my peaked nipples. I’m moaning softly as he continues down towards the apex of my thighs, grasping my thighs and pulling them apart until he’s face to face with my aching pussy. “Oh I missed this,” he says and then licks a line straight up the center and circles his tongue around my clit.

“Oh, fuck” I moan out loud as he sucks and tongues at my pulsing core, my hand reaches down to tangle in his hair keeping him in place while I grind against his talented mouth shamelessly. He takes two fingers and pushes them into me as he continues sucking relentlessly at my clit, my orgasm is close, I feel it burning in my belly and when he looks up at me through his long lashes and says “Please baby, I need to hear you cum” he says and I throw my head back and cry out in ecstasy. He withdraws his fingers and crawls back up to kiss me sharing the taste of my climax. I use the kiss as a distraction and flip us over so my legs are resting on either side of his hips and I can grind my bare pussy against his still-clothed cock. “Fuck baby, you're so beautiful like this” he reaches up to cup my breasts and plays with my nipples, pinching and leaning up to suck them again. I reach down to grab the hem of his shirt and help to remove it “You're wearing too many clothes” I tell him. “I want to feel you against me.”

Moving down his body I take the waistline on his pants and pull them down to his mid-thigh, exposing the hard outline and wet spot growing on his tight black boxer briefs. I bend down to lick at the head of his cloth-covered dick and he bucks his hips at the feeling “Ah, fuck baby, mmmm yes, can I have your mouth? Please?” he begs. I nod my head and grasp his briefs and pull them down to his sweatpants seeing his large erection springs free and pearls of precum leak down the tip. I quickly lick it up and start gently sucking at the head. Noah is whining and holding my hair back so he can get a full view of my ministrations. I start to take more of him into my mouth, relaxing my throat to make room for his full length and his hips thrust forward slightly and my eyes widen as I try not to gag. I tap his hip with my hand and nod, letting him know it's okay, he starts up again slowly fucking into my mouth and moaning “Oh, fuck yeah baby, missed you so much. Missing your hot mouth, and your tight pussy, mmmm can't wait to fuck you” he’s moving faster hips pumping back and forth as his cock hits the back of my throat and my eyes fill with tears threatening to spill and my pussy throbs with need. He pulls my mouth off of him with a gasp “Ah, too much. Want to cum inside you” he says out of breath. “Get up on the bed” he commands and I scramble to get up to lay my head back on the pillow while he stands up to take his pants off fully and then adjusts to settle between my legs. He grabs my thighs and pulls me so my pussy is resting against him, I feel his cock against me and begin to grind down on it looking for any type of friction. “I’ve got you baby” he takes himself in his hand and rubs the tip against my cunt, spreading my wetness around and coating his cock with it before slowly placing the tip against my entrance and moving in. While he's pushing to be fully seated inside our eyes are locked together and we're both moaning at the feeling of finally being back together. “Fuck Noah, I missed you so much”

“I missed you more,” he says, emphasizing each word with a shallow thrust.

Noah and I like to fuck in all types of ways, but after so long apart all I want is to be held in his arms a fucked tenderly. I know there will be plenty more chances tonight for rougher sex. But, for now, he holds me close and fucks into me at a slow tempo, each thrust pushing me closer to my second orgasm of the night, he reaches down and moves his fingers in slow circles around my swollen clit. “I want to feel you cum on my cock baby and then I'm going to fucking fill you up” his thrusts speed up slightly and my climax is reaching its peak, one last thrust, hitting just the right spot, and I'm calling out his name and milking his release. He finishes with a whimpering moan and collapses against me, kissing any skin he sees and softly saying “I love you so much baby, such a good girl for me.” I run a soothing hand down his back and tell him that I love him too and that I’m so happy that I’m back in his arms.

“I missed you so much baby, this is the best surprise ever.” We cuddle in each other's arms for a while longer and then I feel him stirring again when he looks up and gives me a devilish smile. “Round 2?”

———————————

Thank you for reading!!!

[mci-writing]

I’m so ready to go home, why am I still a state away 4 days after I was supposed to leave RAHHHHH-

Bandages (Ishigami Senku x Reader)

Warnings: Spoilers for New America Arc (specifically chapters 158-161 give or take), angst with a happy ending, angst and fluff, mention of Senku being shot but no explicit detailing of it that I can remember 😭 sorry if there is, gender neutral pronouns but there may be plausible she/her that I missed (very very sorry if there is)

Giggles flow out of an open window, a desk lamp the only source of light in the room as low music plays from a speaker. The owner lays out across a bed, feet happily kicking in the air while the fluff of their socks frisk each other in passing. The international calls on the phone will more than likely wrack the bill up, but it's hard to care when their closest friend is chatting away on the phone. It's getting late for them, inching into the next day, while their friend's day is slowly approaching the evening.

“So you tried lion, just like that?” (Y/n) holds their phone close to their ear as they roll onto their back, head hanging off the side of their bed while the plush of their blankets presses into the back of their neck, "I thought you were joking about it earlier... What did it taste like? Was it good?"

The other person on the line chuckles at that, grinning as he sits in a desk chair and scoots it to the desk in his current room with his arms crossed. He flicks on a light, grabbing a pen as he pulls a notebook towards him, "I'm ten billion percent sure you're more interested in the food I've been eating here than my research, Dragonfruit."

"Of course not, Leekboy. Tell me all about your disease research onnn... Ebola!"

This is their second phone call together for the day, the first during (Y/n)'s lunch break at school while Senku was getting up for the morning. They'd talk for an hour, the whole lunch break, until the two had to disperse for their respective duties, and then would reserve ay other catching up for night calls. It was technically both of their way of tricking the other into going to bed, but they'd spend weekends up for hours on end talking to each other about whatever came to mind until they'd pass out.

Senku was currently talking about the advancement on their research, in as much detail as possible, as per usual. (Y/n) might not understand much of it, but they still let him excitedly tell them about the topic. It's enough for them, satiates the longing to see their friend and calms the tugging feeling of them missing him. Deep down, Senku also knows they don’t understand a word of what he’s saying, but he still entertains them.

“Buuut,” He finally ends his rant when he can sense (Y/n) getting bored, a grin forming on his lips as he leans more against his shoulder, adjusting the phone a little better. He’s fully stopped writing, twirling his pen between his fingers before slamming it on the desk, “I’m ten billion percent sure I’ll be back in Japan soon. I finally got what I actually came down here for and our recent test trials are looking promising.”

He leans back into his chair, an entertained twinkle in his eye as he hears the realization dawns on them. He holds back a snort at the noise they make, “Really?”

“I’d give it a solid week or two,”

Senku jumps at the loud bang on the other line, a soft ‘Ow’ following a little after. (Y/n) lifts their face off of the book they’d just smashed it into, sheepishly laughing as they scrub the squashed feeling off, “Try coming back in one piece, please? I’ve really missed you… you being in the science lab every day after class. It’s soooo boring not being able to mess with you.”

The line’s quiet a moment before Senku lets out a few chuckles, “I guess a lab’s not the same if you don’t have a few goofballs running around you,” He responds after a beat, “Get excited, ‘cause when I get back I’ve got a few project ideas.”

“Ohh, joy. I’ll be sure to warn Taiju and Yuzuriha,” (Y/n) pulls up their group chat and happily sends a message, taking a minute to check the time. The sight makes them shiver, a groan releasing from the deepest parts of their body, “It’s suuuper late…” They peek at the time once more, doing a quick calculation in their head before their eyebrows furrow, “And it’s definitely getting late for you, sir.”

“I’m not even tired-,” His phone rings, a FaceTime request with (Y/n)’s glaring face staring right back at him. He feels his face warm at the small pout on their lips, eyebrows knitted together with narrowed (e/c) eyes.

He watches their mouth move as they say, “Turn on your camera,” and he’s intelligent enough to do as they say. He’s rewarded with a smile, “It’s nice to see your face again, Leekboy.”

“You could’ve seen it more often if you just asked, Dragonfruit,” He easily quips back, setting his stuff aside neatly before getting up to lay his head down. His grin grows at how flustered they get, “It’s nice to see you too, (Y/n).”

“You should’ve started with that!”

~~~

“Senku!” The sound of gunshots still ring through (Y/n)’s ears days after the fact. Every time they look at him they remember each and every detail of the attack: the blood, the look of shock on everyone’s faces, the helplessness they felt watching Senku be targeted and almost taken out by a sniper.

He may be resting now, but (Y/n) knows that first chance he has he’ll jump right back up to lead, even if he’s still in the process of healing. They’ve heard him whispering his plans for once he’s back on his feet and it makes their heartbeat pound in their ears. There’s not much they can do to stop him.

“Hey, Leekboy,” They call when they finally get him alone, sitting on the edge of his medical bed. They’re unable to look at him, (e/c) eyes staring straight ahead to the walls of the lower deck, “Promise me you’ll take it easy?”

“Heh,” He chuckles, a little more breathless than before but better than the last few days since the incident, managing to tilt his head to look to them, “It’ll take more than that, Dragonfruit. 10 billion percent sure-,”

“Don’t brush it off! Stanley still hit you with his bullets,” Their eyes finally meet his, tearing up a little. He’s a little taken aback by their small outburst, analyzing their face and body language, “I… wouldn’t be able to handle you being gone, whether you’re worried about it or not. I could barely handle when you were off in Africa for a few months, but if you died?”

They feel their tears fall onto the skin of their hands. The cool feeling shocks them as they start to realize how worked up they are. They feel Senku squeeze their hand, pulling it a little closer to him after he manages to sit up.

“Well, get excited, cause I’m not planning on dying anytime soon,” He reassures. He doesn’t stop them from laying their forehead on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against the back of it, “If I did, you’d miss seeing my face-”

“Senku,” They state, straightening up and looking into his eyes. Their grip on his hand tightens, shifting their hold to press their hands to their chest. He can feel their heart hammering, the air around them stilling as their (e/c) eyes look through him, “I’m worried about you. You’ve almost died so many times, but this time…” They hesitate, their breath hitching as the tears start to roll down their cheeks. Their shoulders shudder as they attempt to hold back everything they’ve been bundling up, “This time…”

They’re unable to stop the tears, their free hand doing it’s best to run at their eyes and clear their sight. They begin full on sobbing, letting his hand go as they hold themself. (Y/n) leans into him, like they have numerous times before, and cried into his chest, drenching his bandages. Senku doesn’t hesitate to hold them their, focusing on the wall ahead of them as he takes in their words.

This isn’t his first time seeing them cry, but he’s never seen them openly cry over something concerning him. It’s makes him feel even worse, that he could cause them such distress due to his reckless actions and that they’ve been holding it in.

“(Y/n),” He finally speaks as their sons die down, his hold tightening as he pulls them more into his chest, “I promise, I’m going to survive this and I’ll try not to make you worry so much again.”

They shift in his hold, getting a better look at him as he stares down at them, (e/c) eyes meeting his crimson ones that are a mix of serious and teasing. His mouth slowly curls up into his usual confident grin, his hand coming up and wiping their tears away.

They mirror it with a smile of their own, laughing a little, “Yeah, Leekboy? I’ll miss seeing you geek out in your lab with Chrome if you’re gone.”

“Of course, Dragonfruit,” He teases back, “Heh, I’d miss seeing your face.”

He doesn’t miss the way their face flushes or the small shift in their body language as they avert their eyes, “I’d miss seeing your face too…” A small glint reaches their eyes, “Senkie~”

He grimaces at that, flicking their forehead and narrowing his eyes, “I prefer Leekboy-,”

“What happened to preferring Sen~ku?”

He grips their cheeks between his fingers, continuously squeezing them til their lips pucker, “I’m gonna kiss you to make you shut up.”

“I’m not gonna stop you.”

He doesn’t hesitate, cupping their face before pulling them closer. Their noses brush against each other, his breath fanning over their lips, before softly connecting. It’s quick, a little nervous, and leaves them both smiling. They both go straight back to each other, deepening the second kiss before inevitably pulling away for air.

(Y/n)’s a little dazed after, their hands at some point gripping his shoulders. They use them to keep them steady and grounded.

“Holy shit…” They mumble, Senku chuckling at their reaction. They take him in, remembering his bandaged state.

Wait, how long has he changed his bandages out?

His drenched bandages…

“Shit, your bandages!” They hop off the bed, pressing a quick peck to the top of his head, and rush out of the room in search of Luna or a new set of bandages stored away.

[outworldletters]

Morning, Sunshine!

Are you reading this just as you wake? Or getting ready to hit the sack? Either way, you light up my world, so I'm gonna kick off these letter thingies like this! Darkness ain't a thing when you're on my mind!

Aww, I got kinda sappy. But shhh, keep it on the down-low, alright? I am a total tough cookie. A badass oni-cookie!

I'm gonna write to you every day when you're away. So, if this ever bugs you, you better keep me closer.

Look, the thing is, I know you want to paint instead of burying your pretty face in books. So, I thought, maybe I could paint your beautiful smile in a way only this Oni-king can? So, what do ya say? Do you want to hear a story?

There was once a tarantula, living alone and minding her business in a dark corner.

If you were a little critter, what do you think you would be? You look all soft and fluffy like a moth, and strong and fierce like a big ol' tarantula. Yeah, I know, it's weird. They're both bugs, but you remind me of a mix of both.

What?! But tarantulas are beautiful and elegant! And it's not all about looks. They're calm and quiet like you, but will attack if threatened. And... Yeah, I think it's still a compliment.

I'm my own sorta of spider, ain't I? I weave words into a web that catches a cutie like you!

I'm sorry, that was bad. Hahaha.

Anyway! I was telling you a story.

The little tarantula was a pretty tough girl, but sometimes even the best of us wish we had someone to talk to and share our troubles. So, this little spider decided to give herself a little challenge: she'd use her skills to make two gifts, and then offer them to the first person she met.

The first gift was a fluffy blanket of her finest silk, soft as soft can be... and the other was the most fiddly poison.

Well, the first person that met little Miss Tarantula took the bait of the soft, fluffy blanket, thinking it was the greatest gift ever given. So, he went back to her cozy corner, tucked himself into the blanket and was lulled to sleep, never to wake up…

But, the second person to meet up with her... chose the bite. And even if it made them sweat and shake and want to scream, it cured them all of their woes and worries. They could finally live free, free of all fear and pain.

The point is, sometimes what appears as the greatest thing ever isn't really what you need; what you need isn't always what it looks like. It's about making a choice between what looks like the most comforting, perfect thing in the world, or picking something scary but necessary to move forward.

It's about knowing what you really need and making that call, not settling for something just because it looks safe. I get that, y'know? I get it, Sunshine.

I am not angry or sad because you left.

You didn't want to make that choice... But you did, didn't you? You took the bite. I know you're worried about whether we made the right call. But I have no doubts.

I'm proud of ya. You're brave, for leaving everything you know and choosing to honor your Vision.

Listen, the distance is hard on both of us, no doubt about it. But you, me, us? We got this. There ain't nothing keeping us apart. Not when our bond is this strong.

After all, if you were not strong enough to take the bite, you would never choose to date me either. So I am glad this is who you are.

It ain't everyone's jam to date an Oni, y'know? But it's the rough parts of me that make you laugh and get excited, isn't it? Like the first time you met me and I showed you my collection of beetles, and they started crawling all over you. But anyways, I'm rambling.

The thing is, the tarantula from that story? Yeah, I don’t like her a bit.

That little spider was trying to trick that second person into showing trust, right? That's why she did that whole “bite or blanket” routine. It was almost like she cared about what people thought more than making her own choices.

You and I, we choose to be vulnerable to each other, no matter what. I'm never afraid to admit my fears or to tell you when I'm feeling hurt or upset. And you can always tell me what's bothering you, so we can work together and figure it out. Right?

I gotta tell ya, I was scared, too, when I knew you had to leave. I was worried sick that once you got settled with your new studies, you'd forget all about me.

It's just my paranoia, y'know? It's the thought that I'll wake up one day, and you'll suddenly tell me about a more attractive, more... polished guy you met at school. And... that you wouldn't want to be with the guy with the horns and the fangs after all.

Even just writing about it makes me sick to my stomach, it's just-

Do you think I'm too rough around the edges for you? Am I holding you back?

I mean, you're a smart person going off to a big school and learning so much, and what do I bring to the table? A big heart? A loud mouth? It just feels like there's something inside you that needs much more than what I can offer.

I am not like that tarantula at all. That's cuz I'm me. I don't need to try to trick people or test them to make them take a bite from me. What you see is what you get from me.

And what I offer you is love, Sunshine. A love you wouldn't have to look hard to find. I wouldn't try to trick ya into showing you my affection. I can be rough, or I can be gentle, but it's always honest.

All your quirks, your insecurities, your talents, I would love every bit of it. And I would do my best to keep your chin up when you're feeling down. I wanna be the one you come to with good news, and the one who comforts you when you're feeling lonely. And most of all, I want to make you smile.

You're gonna do great. You'll make new friends and make all these dreams of yours come true. You'll keep growing, learning, taking the risks you want to take. If it ever gets tough, remember, I'm right here. I'll be your comfort cushion, your warm blanket. I'll be whatever you need, right? Just tell me, and I'll be there, okay?

I guess in the end, it's just about showing your heart, no tricks or tests, no tests or traps... Just being honest and loving, huh? Heh, and it ain't so complicated after all. But hey, if you'll allow it, please accept this gift.

The softest blanket ever: my strong arms!

You can always count on me. Even if I'm far away, it's so easy to make it feel like I'm holding you in my arms all over again.

Just remember... I will never, ever let you walk alone.

Arataki “horns over heels for you” Itto

[thatstroubling]

I compilled my Post-V3 Headcanons into one block of text because I'm so not normal about it.

And so time passes.

You call Maki every day. She moved back to her hometown so you usually only get to see each other through the screen. At some point, you decided to pretend to be normal teenagers. It's what the three of you have been encouraged to do by your therapists. So most of the time you don't talk about anything relevant. Just movies, TV, books. Maki mentions to you the massive collection of unfamiliar YA novels decorating the shelves of her old room. You make a joke that at least she gets to experience reading them for the first time again. She only huffs. You can tell she’s trying to come out of her shell and make friends at the new school, to stay open and generous, because that’s what he would have wanted her to do, but it’s still hard on her. And so you call her every day and she never misses a call.

Himiko seems to be doing OK, surprisingly. Her mother was apparently the super strict and demanding type. She never approved of her spending so much of her valuable time watching Danganronpa and now that Himiko can't handle nearly as much work as she used to, you assumed her mother would be even harder on her. But she somehow came around over time. Himiko tells her about Tenko and Angie constantly and explains her spells and potions (and magic tricks) to her in great detail. And her mother listens because she likes seeing her daughter being truly passionate about something again. You and Maki agree that if your previous lives were truly all just fiction, there’s no reason why Himiko couldn’t have been a real mage once. Sometimes lies can be helpful.

Your mom never calls you anything other than her son. She says she loves you no matter what but sometimes you see the hint of hesitation in her eyes when she remembers what you’ve been through. After all, she watched the game transpire live. You talk together about it. She can never understand but she tries. You tell her that you’re sorry, for what it's worth. Sorry for going out and almost getting yourself killed. She says that she thought she lost you forever but you came back. "Different, but you did!" She cries with you on the couch, gripping you tightly in a hug. She bought you a new hat because you started wearing them again.

It gets hard. Seeing the billboard signs about the premiere. Hearing the theme music on the radio. Facebook shows you ads for Kaede figurines. You notice cosplayers congregating in front of your house every couple of weeks. You dyed your hair back to black, Himiko too, to not stand out. Your mom doesn't know what name to use for you and you can't help her choose. She calls you by your previous name sometimes, the name plastered on all of the Danganronpa fan accounts you still have access to. The one on all the black-and-white notebooks that Maki helped you pack into boxes and move to the basement. You don't want to throw them away for your mom's sake. Most of the time she just calls you honey.

You have wild dreams. There’s three kinds. The first ones are those that your therapist encourages you to talk through. In them, you see red everywhere (not magenta). There is the crunch of Kirumi’s torn body hitting the ground, the swoosh of Kaede's body in the air as it is dragged around on the piano keys, the cracking of fire coming at Gonta from the flamethrower. And everyone’s screams, anguish, pain: the tragedy of the lost lives and the destroyed minds. And so many people are watching and nobody comes to help you. You beg to be let out again and again and they just laugh. Those dreams have you wake up in cold sweat, terrified, barely catching a breath.

Then there's the other kind of dreams. Nothing violent happens in those. There’s just a white room, two chairs and a boy that looks exactly like you. He mumbles, giggles, cries, exclaims, monologues, serenades you and he simply never stops talking about Danganronpa. He says he misses his shows, his online friends, says he's bored and he begs you to talk to him, to stay there with him, to help him out, but whenever you see him stand hunched in front of you with that delirious smile, your voice disappears. Those dreams leave you shaking and crying, not knowing what is real anymore. The only feeling you are sure of in those moments is the regret in knowing that you will never be given a chance to understand the person you once were. Maybe there is nothing to understand but it still feels like another loss.

And of course, you dream about your friends. Sweet dreams that break your heart anew each time you wake up. Kaito, Kokichi, her. In spite of that, these dreams are your favorite. You rewatch scenes from the show over and over while subconsciously trying to memorize every sentence they uttered in the game. At one point, Himiko has to stop you from ordering a copy of the original script, containing unused lines. Sometimes lies can hurt. You alternate between wishing they could be here with you, wishing they had another chance at life, and being glad they didn't have to go through this.

You listen to Kaito’s voice lines the most. His grandma was reported to have died recently. The news was announced as a little tidbit in the same article in which they ranked Top 10 Heroic Kaito Moments. You did the complimentary “Which Danganronpa Character Are You?” quiz and you got someone called Chihiro. In a V3 quiz, you were assigned Kaede. You’d like to think that the outside world could never know your friend like you did but their description of her personality is so spot on it makes your heart ache. Even those figurines look more life-like than Angie’s sculptures. (Maybe you should look up what people thought of Kokichi, maybe it would help you understand him better. At least retroactively.)

You've discovered that you can apparently draw pretty well. Team Danganronpa must have left that skill intact from your fandom days. You had thrown away all the promotional materials for V3 pilling in your room. The only pictures of your friends you still have left are those that you drew yourself from memory. (You don't want to look at official character art for reference.) Your therapist advises you to maybe take those drawings down from your bedroom walls, says it's not healthy. You explain to her that Himiko, Maki and you are the only three people in the whole world that remember these people as real people, with real lives, so it’s important to not forget. The therapist doesn’t say anything to that. 

You've heard that the final season’s head writer (and Tsumugi's actress) is working on her own stuff now. In spite of the mixed reviews for the finale, she got applauded for her writing in the season as a whole, especially for the underlying motives, intricate character interactions and of course, audience participation that V3 brought to the franchise. She is supposedly sitting in a director’s chair somewhere now, developing her own anime on the other side of the country. They won’t let you see her or let you know her real name for safety reasons. ‘She simply did her part in the show, she just did her job!’ they say. 

Not like you care anymore. The only part of the Danganronpa world you still care about are the people who came from it. Ironically, Maki and Himiko feel like the only real people in your life right now and you suppose that is right for the time being, at least until you learn to be a part of the world that wanted you to die. In spite of that, you made it out. Again, it's not easy and it may never be. But just as before, you depend on each other, you cry together, you laugh together. The days are quiet and time passes slowly, but it does pass. Everything passes in the end. The three of you stand outside holding hands and remember those who gave their lives so you could be here now, basking in the warm spring sun, free of the fate you were created for. And together, for your friends and yourselves, you live on.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

Reading Agatha Christie: 4:50 From Paddington

Maybe ten-ish years ago, they redid the covers for all of Christie's books - and I liked them enough that I went out and purchased every single one so they look, stylistically, the same. I am a little disappointed in this one, though, it's perhaps too simple. Not on par with nearly every other book. Interestingly, though, they redesigned the Marple books, and now they all look... bleh, so I will take this edition.

We have another Miss Marple book! Which... I'm glad I've been enjoying them more upon reread, because I didn't find them that interesting when I was younger. Maybe there are some things that just work better when you're older. Anyway... I did like this book! I didn't love it, it's not a favorite, and there are some writing issues in it, but I did enjoy my time reading it.

The premise is really very catching. One of Miss Marple's friends is on a train when she sees - in a train going on along side her - someone murder a woman. It's kind of crazy and wild, and no one believes Mrs McGillicuddy saw anything, so she and Miss Marple try to figure out if it was even a possible thing and what could have happened. The first part of the book really moves as they try to figured it out, which is a lot of fun, and different from Christie's usual set ups.

Once the dead body is found, however, things slow down and kind of start rolling in Christie's usual style. The body ends up at Rutherford Hall where a patriarch of the Crackenthorpe family lives and things descend into Christie's usual fare of a somewhat wealthy family with a ton of problems.

There are a lot of characters and most of them aren't all that memorable because a lot of them are stock characters that Christie has used time and time again. But standing out is Lucy Eyelesbarrow, whom Miss Marple has go to work at the estate as help so she can sleuth her way into figuring out what is going on. She seems to be a middle aged version of those plucky heroines that Christie used to use in her thrillers back in the day.

The character work is fine, but the biggest issue of the book is that there are no real clues and you can't really figure anything out. The ending has an interesting twist to it, sure, but there's no way anyone is getting there based on the text. It's also, maybe, a good fifty pages too long -- in that I was just ready to get there already.

How Miss Marple tricks the murderer, though, is kind of entertaining, and even if the ending isn't as satisfying as it could be (and there are a few ambiguous loose ends - which is a new trend in Christie these days) at least Miss Marple is rather solid in the book.

Like I said above, I liked it, but didn't love it. It was a nice read, but doesn't stick with me the way a lot of the good Christies do.

[joel-brooks]

Ft. Lori x Lily Brooks Tag: @lorixbrooks Mentions: @dianabrooks @adamsbrooks

Lily: Lily was home for one reason and one reason only, to make sure her dad was ok. What happened to the MC was bad enough but she knew the arrival of Lori would shake that amour he'd built so well - as only an old flame could, she supposed. Assuming he told her everything, right down to the 'I want you' comment, she allowed herself a day to dwell. Or more accurately, think about how she felt about it whilst worrying about how he felt. Lily liked to think she knew her dad better than most, it's how she knew that whilst he wouldn't say more than admitting he missed her, he was struggling with the idea of seeing her around town. Suspicious of every blonde in passing, it was a local restaurant where she hawk eye spotted Lori sitting alone in a booth. Of course she wasn't going to ignore her, she had a lot to say - or at least she thought she did. Heading in, she goes to the bar first, requesting a top up of whatever she was drinking, along with a bowl of cheesy fries and a beer for herself. With a deep breath and her shoulders pinned back, she walks confidently into view, sliding into the opposite booth and placing the drinks down. "Hey, mom," using the term loosely, she adds... "Not waiting for anyone are you? Good. Because the last time we spoke was back when I couldn't pronounce my P's. My vocabulary has greatly improved since then, you might wanna buckle up." Expression void of the swirly emotions she suddenly felt sitting so close to the woman who gave her life, she opts for a swig of her beer before continuing. "So, I'm told you ambushed my dad on his own turf. How'd that work out for you?" Something of a trick question considering she already knew the answer, but it was mostly just to break the ice.

Lori: Despite doing her best to avoid Joel, as promised, Lori had found herself settling into town quite easily. Tonopah had a certain small town charm that she had always craved. So far the diner was her favourite place. She was a sucker for fries and a strawberry shake. Sat in a booth by herself, nose buried deep in a new book, the sudden presence startled her. The surprise was obvious by the blank expression on her face as she stared at Lily for a moment, brain struggling to process the fact that she was actually there in front of her. "Don't really have anyone to wait for. So, no." she shrugged her shoulders, glancing down at the drinks Lily had set on the table. "Well, congrats on the vocabulary. I see you managed to order drinks with no issue, so it must be pretty good." she offered up a small smile, leaning back into her seat. "I'm sure you already know exactly how that worked out for me. And I'm sure your dad already told you everything that I said to him, which is why you're here right now. Right?" she raised an eyebrow at Lily, reaching for the fresh milkshake and pulling it towards herself. "So, what do you really want to ask me? Maybe something you don't already know the answer to would be a good start."

Lily: Her voice isn't how she thought it would be, a small detail that catches her a little off guard. The reality of how all the things she did know about her were just other peoples memories and this? Was basically the first one she would remember for herself. "It's not the only reason but sure, it is a biggie." Raising a brow before she realised Lori was doing the same thing, it's replaced by an instant frown. "Out of the two of us I'm feeling like I'm the only one who's smart mouth can be justified. Besides, what's wrong with collecting data from both sides? It makes for more accurate findings." Lily narrowed her eyes, feeling like her expressions were the only thing she had as a way to defend herself. Staring back into her own blue eyes wasn't as easy as she thought it was going to be. "He told you to go and you refused. I don't think he's very used to being told no these days, people are usually smart enough to do what he says." It's more like a passing comment but she would be curious to know how much Lori had learnt since her arrival. "Okay..." Now sitting forward as she wants to ask something she didn't know the answer to. "What suddenly snapped in here," tapping her head, "to bring you here..." now tapping the table as a gesture to the town itself - she had devised that something substantial happened, otherwise would she have not been happy to continue her life back in Vegas? "And... since it didn't go how you thought it would, what makes you think anything will change?"

Lori: Having Lily sat here in front of her was definitely something she was finding hard to process. The sweet, three year old she had left behind was now a full blown adult and it was like looking at a reflection of her younger self. "The smart mouth is genetic, it just comes naturally. For both of us, clearly.” she couldn’t help the hint of a smirk that tugged at her lips, almost proud of the way Lily was carrying herself. Lori raised an eyebrow at her, curiosity sparked at the idea of Joel being someone people were afraid to say no to. “Funny how things change. It was always the other way around. And I didn’t refuse, I simply stood my ground and said I was staying.” she rolled her eyes, wondering for a moment if Joel had exaggerated their encounter with the intention of making sure she stayed away. She sighed, realising that the part of the story she’d left out for Joel, was now the answer to Lily’s question. “I realised, after a lot of therapy, that the life I had in Vegas wasn’t the one I wanted. I could never truly be happy, or at peace, or whatever Dr Greene said, until I faced my mistakes. But I didn’t want to be happy or at peace with that life. It was fake. Your dad, you, Adam, Diana… That was the life that I wanted, but my stupid brain just wouldn’t let me have it.” A frown settled into her features as she spoke, hoping Lily would understand what she was saying. “Plus it’s much harder to go through with a wedding that you don’t even want when you’re already married. Made leaving Vegas a hell of a lot easier, though.” she took a sip of her milkshake, as if that last part was nothing, even though that was the one bit she’d been trying to avoid saying out loud. “Oh, honey, it went exactly how I thought it would. I wasn’t expecting him to sweep me off my feet and run into the sunset. I don’t know if anything will change, and if it doesn’t, I can be okay with that. Eighteen years is a long time.”

Lily: "Clearly." Lily rolls her eyes, not paying too much attention to the comment. Lily chose to acknowledge the main thing here which was that Lori wasn't going to yield, nor be intimidated by her attitude. Whilst the girl may have preferred it, only due to the fact it would be easier to get the truth from a weaker type, it was clear that the woman before her knew how to battle. Fine. So shall it be. "That's the same thing." Raising a brow with a little scoff - was being asked ( or told ) to leave, and saying no, the very definition of a refusal? As Lori started to speak, Lily slipped off her jacket - getting comfortable, soaking in every word that was spoken. Just as she thought to say something about how she did have understanding on the diagnosis Lori was given, she talked a little more and... "Wedding? Oh holy shit," laughing instantly. "See, I do like how you didn't mention that to Joel... But you mention it to me." Tipping her head in curiosity. "Almost like you know I'm going to tell him and then... You don't have to. Nice. Smart, actually." Lily tips her beer forward before taking another sip. "Doesn't really make much sense though, does it? Rebuilding your life should mean you're making it into something you do want. Instead, you've let a presumably decent person believe you'd be open to spending the rest of your life with them... Not even thinking to mention the little detail of your previous life, the one in which you're legally married." She's not sure there's an actual question there, maybe she's just talking out loud in order to keep her head clear. "Mm, yeah, okay, firstly? Don't call me honey. Secondly, it's a lifetime... Not just a long time." Well, it was her lifetime at least. "You came here with intention, I can admire that, but tell me... Did any part of you actually think about the fact that the life you were hoping to get back is as far gone as the people in it?" Real talk, Lily would say. "Goes without saying for me, I'm an adult now. But then there's Adam, he's been to war and came back a dollar and a limb short. Diana got so messed up at one point she needed rehab, and dad.... He went to jail defending a member of a club we all consider family. My point, Lori, is none of us are the people you remember. You're chasing ghosts." Frowning, she finds herself shaking her head, what it all boiled down to was how much she loved her father. "You want him back... But just humour me for a minute because... Just say he did accept you, want you back too... What happens a few weeks later? When you see for yourself he's not the same guy you knew?" That was Lily's real fear because she knew that her dad still loved her. She didn't want to see him heartbroken for a second time.

Lori: "No, it's not. Saying I refused makes me sound like a petulant child, which I am not." Lori argued, mirroring her daughter's raised eyebrow. She watched as Lily seemed to get herself comfortable in her seat, almost a little shocked that she was doing so. A part of her thought that she wasn't going to stay for long, but apparently that wasn't the case. A heavy sigh pushes past her lips before they pull into a tight smile, nodding her head. "I didn't mention it to Joel because it wasn't important or relevant to the conversation. You can tell him if you want, that's your call, but the reason I'm telling you is because it's the answer to the question you just asked me." Her tone was a little harsher than she had intended, but given the interrogation, it seemed justified. "Besides, I wasn't actually engaged. My parents set me up with him when I was back on my feet, and eventually conversations started about getting married and my mother was talking about wedding dresses, and I just went along with it because I thought that's what I wanted. Then I had my epiphany, so to speak, and when he actually popped the question I said no." It wasn't an easy conversation, turning down the man that she'd somehow planned the rest of her life with without even realising she was doing it. The whole relationship had been so manufactured that it didn't even feel real. "And he did know. Not about you, but he knew that I'd been married before, and that I'd been in rehab, though that part wasn't really public knowledge. It was all about my parents' reputation, and when you're mentally vulnerable and incredibly grateful to those parents for saving your life, you don't really think to object when they start planning out your whole future." Besides her therapist, she'd not said any of that out loud before and it suddenly felt like a whole weight had been lifted from her shoulders now that she'd finally voiced it. "Firstly, if you're going to call me mom, I'm going to call you honey. Secondly, I know. My long time, is your lifetime, and I am so sorry. I can't take that back, and I know I can't fix what I broke with apologies. But I want to try." She sat in silence for a moment, eyes widened ever so slightly at the onslaught of information that Lily threw at her. It was a lot to take in, and too much for her to think about and comment on in the moment, so instead she just nodded. A simple gesture to show that she understood what Lily was saying. "I'm not chasing anything, or anyone, Lily. I'm certainly not the same person I was when I left, so I'm not fool enough to think that everyone else would be. I didn't come here to pick up where we left off." she shook her head, taking another sip of her milkshake to give herself a minute. "I came here because I needed to start over. For myself. I needed to know that you, and your dad, were okay. And I know that he's not okay, but he's breathing, so that's something." she shrugs her shoulders before she continues. "Of course I want him back. I still wear my wedding ring on this necklace, and we still have matching tattoos, and he was the first, and only person that I have ever truly loved. Neither of us are the same person that we knew before, and that's okay. It's not a fairytale. I don't want a fairytale. I just want to be happy." A sigh of relief rushed from her chest as she spoke, like she'd been holding her breath. "With or without him. I just want to be happy."

Lily: There's a frown on her face throughout the explanation, almost like she couldn't understand how a life could be so structured. And not even by yourself, but your parents? Her grandparents, she supposed. "So they help you, save your life, just to take over it?" Resisting the urge to make a sarcastic comment, it didn't feel entirely appropriate when she didn't actually know these people. All she did know was what Joel had told her, which wasn't actually very much or very nice, but we digress. "Do you want me to call you mom?" Lifting a brow, she's curious to know the answer. Lily had always called her mom when it came to asking Joel about her, but admittedly it was a little odd to say it to her actual face. "... Yes but what does that mean exactly? You want to try? As in, with both me and dad, or just dad, making me the unfortunate obstacle." Because if Lori didn't want her, she knew her dad wouldn't stand for it. "Yeah, three of his friends got blown up and died, no shit he isn't ok. Can't say you showing up has helped much, either." In spite of the words, the tone of it wasn't anything but calm and even a little sad. It hurt her heart seeing him up against it knowing there was very little she could do, realistically. I just want to be happy. With that last line, she sits back and slouches her shoulders. Needing just a few seconds to process everything Lori had said. In spite of being the one to ask the questions, it was still a lot to take in. "Well when you put it like that it makes it really hard to be angry with you. Your rational behaviour and logical words is really stomping all over my fury," shooting her a pointed glare, as if that was a bother to her, there's the faintest of smiles that ghosts her lips. "I'm sorry that's a struggle for you." Lily says quietly, ( happiness, that was. ) "And I don't know if you'll find it here, maybe, maybe not... You're brave to try." She decides. It's clear in her features that she isn't holding the same attitude she had upon arriving. Now all she felt was a little bit sad, a little bit confused about what now, but mostly? It was just sinking in for her that she was sitting opposite her mother. "I understand what happened to you, why you acted how you did and... Why you left. I mean, it sucks, but I understand... It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry help came too late for you." It felt necessary to say, she wasn't sure why, maybe it was her way of letting her know that she's forgiven. "I'm studying neuroscience, so..." She shrugs, letting on that actually, she was well versed in matters of the brain. "You're sticking around then? For real? Because... This is gonna be your one shot, you know? Second chances can be deserved but third chances don't fly here."

Lori: "Well when you say it like that it sounds crazy. Which I guess it kind of is, but it's also complicated." Lori's relationship with her parents was a story for another time, perhaps one that required something a little stronger than a milkshake. She mirrored Lily's raised brow. "I mean — of course that would be nice, but I guess it's a little odd since I don't really feel like a mom. Do you want to call me mom?" Sure, she was in fact her mom, but being vacant for eighteen years of your daughter's life didn't exactly measure up to being called as much. "With both of you, yes. I might not know where to start, or what the hell I'm doing, really — but I want to try. I want to get to know you, and your dad again. But only if that's okay with you. I don't want to overstep." she assured her with a small, slightly nervous smile. There was no point trying to beat around the bush. She wasn't going to get anywhere if she didn't just lay it all out on the table. "Well, yeah — bad timing on my part." she admitted with a light shrug. She wasn't blind to the fact that she'd just thrown herself and Joel straight in at the deep end. Maybe she could've thought it through a little more, or dipped her toe in the water before diving straight in, but she just didn't. It was all or nothing. "It's okay. I'll take whatever slither of it I can get. Even if that's just seeing your face right now." she nodded, flashing Lily a hint of a smile. "I'm glad you understand. Makes this a whole lot easier for me if I don't have to keep explaining it and reliving it." Lori blew out a quiet, slightly relieved sigh. "I am. I guess I better make it count then, huh?" she raised a brow again, taking a long sip of her milkshake as she took a moment to really just look at her daughter. "So, neuroscience? Smart and pretty, I see. You're welcome for that."

Lily: "Is it? Because it seems pretty simple to me. They hold themselves to a standard they expect you to follow and you do because it's the only way to keep the peace." Raising an amused brow, she was admittedly pulling such a conclusion with aid of the things she knew about her parents from Joel. "Well... I've always called you mom. When me and dad would talk about you, he would say mom, not Lori - so it's not as weird for me as you might think. It's just a little bit... odd? I guess, to say it to your face. But then, Lori feels odd too," Pausing to scratch the side of her head, she shrugs. "Maybe... I can just fluctuate between the two until naturally, one takes over." Lily nods, quick to pick up her beer and take a decent couple of gulps. "This last year hasn't had a lot of good timing to be honest." At least that was her view - when the club suffered, so did her dad. "No.. You don't have to do that with me," shaking her head, she wanted her mom to know she wasn't expecting her to relive her traumas and mistakes, not when the general overview of them spoke enough to know she could look past it. "Oh," snorting out a genuine laugh, she grinned over at her. "Getting those things from you has served me well so far, I won't lie. Thank you," she teases, glancing at her phone to see the text from her friend saying she was outside. "I gotta go. I was supposed to be outside ages ago but - well, I spotted you and impulse took over." Lily shrugs, noticing her jacket but deciding, purposely, that she would leave it there with Lori. "Can I have your number? I would like to meet up with you again, properly?" There's a coy smile as she opens her phone on the keypad and holds it out to her before standing up. Heart still racing, she takes a deep breath and waits for her phone. "Okay well, I'll.. see you." Sheepishly smiling, she turns to walk away only to pause a few feet away. Turning her head back, she contemplates what she wants to say, wondering if it was wise, even though she was going to say it either way. "There hasn't been anyone else for him... He still loves you." Blue eyes soften with a little worry, not truly knowing what Lori would do with that information. "He's got this tattoo," raising her left arm, "Ask him about it when you see him again, yeah?" A hint of mischief sparks in her eyes as she backs up and now walks out of sight.

[[ END ]]

[itscappyj]

Avatrice + bottlecaps

So yesterday we had Bea's little fantasy and it was sweet and soft. And today we have Ava's and it is...neither of those things (rated M).

Ava stretched and yawned, slumping over to rest her chin on her arms as they lay crossed against the bar.

Her shift had just ended and Hans was out back having a break, leaving Beatrice - usually quiet with her head in the books - to tend bar.

Ava could go home, she was going to, she just couldn't quite get her feet to start moving again yet. It had been a long, arduous day and she just needed to sit, just for a moment.

At least, she thinks as she watches Beatrice gracefully spin a bottle into the air to the cheer of the customers beside her, she has a good view.

For someone who spends so little time behind the bar, Beatrice sure does put a lot of time into learning the tricks of the trade. She insists it is for 'dexterity training' but Ava doesn't miss the subtle prideful smile that hides behind her mask.

She sits for a while, until the last dregs of customers are gone and Hans is back cleaning up. The bar now closed, leaving the two of them to finish their shifts in peace.

Ava isn't quite sure why she's still here. Her shift ended an hour ago and Beatrice’s won't end for an hour more. She tells herself she's just tired, that she wants to wait to walk home with Beatrice - the streets dark and unsafe.

It's a poor excuse, even to herself. Neither of them have any reason to fear, both skilled and trained as they are. 

But still, she sits, waits and watches, mesmerised by Beatrice’s every move. It's become so normal now that she doesn't even try to hide it anymore, and Beatrice makes no mention of it, only smiling occasionally when their eyes happen to meet. A fast comfort and familiarity borne of being forced into such close proximity. 

It's not even an interesting spectacle at this point. Beatrice is simply standing behind the bar, going over the books, her bottom lip pulled in slightly as she concentrates. 

Vaguely, Ava hears Hans say something about the stockroom before he disappears from sight.

She watches as Beatrice absentmindedly flips a bottle cap between her fingers. Rolling and spinning, seemingly with no effort at all. Beatrice is not even looking at it but Ava can't tear her eyes away.

She flicks it into the air and catches it neatly between her index and middle finger, long and poised, and there’s no way Ava can keep lying to herself. She knows why she’s still here, why she’s always still here.

Ava thinks she must have made a sound. She's not aware of anything having escaped her lips, but Beatrice’s eyes have shot up to meet her gaze, a question hanging lightly in the tilt of her head, "Ava?"

They stare at each other across the bar and the air grows heavy and thick. Ava can't move, her breaths become shallow and fast, her cheeks grow hot. She tries to speak, to answer but nothing comes out.

Then everything changes in a moment, in a singular glance as Beatrice’s gaze flicks down to her lips, her tongue darting out to wet her own.

Before Ava knows what's happening, she vaults over the counter and captures Beatrice in a searing kiss. 

She expects something of shock, surprise, hesitancy, to be pushed away, asked what the fuck she is doing. 

None of that happens. Beatrice stumbles back a half step until her back hits the bar behind her but she grabs Ava by the waist, pulling her along with her. 

The bottles rattle loudly as their bodies collide with a crash and somehow Beatrice's hands are now in her hair, pulling until Ava’s neck lies exposed and waiting. She feels lips and teeth and hot breath as her brain struggles to catch up to what is happening. To what she just started. 

She hears Hans shout out at the noise, asking if they are okay. 

"Fine," Ava calls but it comes out strangled and faint, her breath hitching as Beatrice nips playfully at her ear. She pulls back and Beatrice is smirking. Ava clears her throat, "All good, Hans!" She shouts, loud and clear this time as she keeps her eyes locked on Beatrice, their chests rising and falling in gasping breaths.

"The office," Beatrice whispers and Ava can only answer in another kiss, sloppy and fervent as she pulls them towards the stairs. 

They stumble, stifling giggles, as they make their way up, hands roaming eagerly. Beatrice kicks the door closed behind them as they stagger, entangled, to the desk.

Ava gasps as Beatrice grabs the back of her thighs with both hands and lifts her onto it as if she weighed nothing. She pulls on Beatrice's hips as she settles in between her legs, close enough that she can feel the belt buckle press into her and she moans, her own hips jerking with the sensation.

"You need to be quiet, darling," Beatrice says, leaning into her ear, low and husky in a voice that has Ava’s head spinning.

She gulps, "I can…I can do that."

Beatrice hums as she traces kisses all the way from her ear down to her collarbone, hands moving under her shirt and just grazing under the bottom of her bra. "I could make it quite the challenge." 

She wants to moan again but instead she wraps her legs around Beatrice, keeping her close and her hips start rolling of their own accord, trying desperately to find friction. 

Beatrice pulls her head back and looks into her eyes, smiling smugly as she watches Ava writhing, begging in everything but words. She kisses her, pressing in until Ava is forced to lie back on the wooden surface, her arms pinned above her head as Beatrice holds her wrists. 

Time seems to stand still for a moment as she lays, lips parted and chest heaving, under Beatrice’s weight, their faces only inches apart. She wants this. She’s dreamed of this for weeks. And in not one of those dreams did she ever believe that Beatrice would want her too.

“Ava?” Beatrice says softly and she feels her hot breath, so close, tickling at her own lips.

“Please,” Ava all but whines and she can’t find it in herself to be embarrassed at the pure desperation in her voice. Not with Beatrice looking down at her with nothing but devotion.

Then Beatrice is moving again. She hears the smallest gasp as Beatrice pulls down her shorts and underwear in one swift manoeuvre. She lifts her head to find Beatrice watching her, awe and unmistakable want in her eyes and then a finger glides though her, bottom to top until it ghosts over her clit and she whimpers, “Fuck, Bea.”

Their eyes remain locked on each other as Beatrice moves slowly, experimentally, marking out every twitch and barely contained sound rising from Ava’s throat. 

As two fingers slide inside of her, her head drops back against the desk - one arm clutching the edge of the wood, the other coming up to cover her face.

She arches and writhes as Beatrice worships her. She bites down on her own arm to muffle the screams as Beatrice shifts, making room to use her tongue.

"Ava?" 

She looks up to see Beatrice watching her, a pen in one hand and a bottle cap in the other, the bar between them.

"Are you okay? You're looking flushed."

"I'm - uh - you - it's nothing." Ava’s pretty sure she could not string a coherent sentence together right now if her life depended on it.

"Are you sure? I can take you home." Beatrice is still watching her, those intense eyes awash with concern, as she takes a step forwards.

"No!" Ava shouts, entirely too loud, as she jumps off the barstool and onto her feet. She needs to get out of here before she implodes. 

Beatrice takes another step towards her, her brows knitting together in confusion. 

"You're still here for another hour, right?" Ava asks, swiftly backing away towards the exit.

"Yes," Beatrice answers hesitantly. 

"Great! Great, well, I'll uh, be heading back. See you at home, Bea!" 

She all but runs and the journey back to their apartment has never been so quick and yet so agonisingly long.

[jelliclekay]

Cats the Musical OC Masterlist

Wanted to make a list/short descriptions of my OCs, mostly for myself, but also in case anyone wants to send any questions about them. 

** is friend's OC but is heavily involved with my own OCs

Also, several of these OCs use designs from non-rep and non London replica productions, so I’ve made sure to indicate which OCs and designs they are!

Young Adult/Adult OCs:

Artemis (they/them)

My main OC, is the tribe archiver aka the cat who keeps track of each year’s Jellicle Ball and other tribe happenings. They are a small cat who is typically quiet and unassuming. They are dedicated to their work sometimes to a fault, often forgetting to take care of themselves at times. Artemis was a very shy and slightly sheltered kitten, but comes out of their shell and grows more confident and close to the tribe in their young adulthood. They are mates with Lorenzo and Tugger. Artemis has 3 kittens with Tugger, one with Lorenzo and a kitten with Rialto, who is raised by Lorenzo. 

Rialto (he/him)

A tall handsome red tom who doesn’t live in the Junkyard, but is close with several of the Junkyard cats and visits on occasion. He’s incredibly flirtatious, and has flirted with almost every cat in the tribe at some point, to differing degrees of success, Tugger being the cat he most often “visits” during his times in the Junkyard. Despite his numerous pursuits, Rialto is also non-committal, not being interested in having a mate or settling down in one place for a long period of time. 

Jalaneel (she/her)

A beautiful Queen with a costume design similar to Demeter and Bombalurina, but her coat is dark blue in color. She has a short romantic stint with Macavity after Bombalurina leaves him, but is eventually thrown aside by him and left to fend for her self on the streets. Rialto ends up finding her and takes her to the Junkyard where she will be safe. Cassandra is instantly attracted to her, and the two become mates once Jala is more comfortable and settled in with the tribe.

Jericho (she/her) Design: Il Sistina Jellylorum

The daughter of Skimble and Jelly, and Rumpleteazer’s half-sister. Much like her sister, she is mischievous and a jokester, but she is also more mature than her sister. She inherited her mother's talent for sewing and knitting and loves to knit blankets for any new kittens in the tribe, though she is awkward and doesn't know how to interact with kittens herself.

Wyndham (he/him)

The son of Gus Jr and Eloise (OC), a small tom cat who is well-read and book smart, lacks any sort of street smarts. He is good at interpersonal relationships within the tribe and helping cats get together but has bad luck with romance and relationships himself until he meets Kunze. Despite that, he's a big romantic and falls in love easily. He is called Wynnie by his parents but gets embarrassed if any other cat calls him by this pet name. Wyndham is often tricked by other cats outside of the Junkyard to leave, leading him to accidentally go off on long trips for weeks at a time.

Lorenzo (he/him) Design: Original Broadway Alonzo (Gold Lonz)

A tom who was born and raised in the tribe but left with Macavity and a number of other toms his age when Mac was ousted from the tribe. He instantly regretted his decision to leave but stayed until Demeter and Alonzo left out of fear for his own safety of what Macavity would do. When he returns, Artemis begins catching him up on everything he misses while he is gone, and the two fall in love. He is prone to panic, but once he becomes comfortable in the tribe again, he is a happy-go-lucky tom who is eager to help out the tribe when he can.

Castella (she/her) Design: Shiki Bombalurina

Daughter of Bustopher Jones. Castella doesn't live in the Junkyard but does frequently visit. She is half-brothers with Rialto, having the same red queen as a mother, but she is annoyed at her brother's flirtacious antics and immaturity. She has a gloomy demeanor most of the time, walking around with a perpetual rain cloud over her head. Castella is a foodie much her like father and often accompanies him to his clubs.

Kunze (he/him)

A German Longhair tom whom Wyndham meets during one of his "accidental" trips abroad. After spending a few romantic weeks together, Kunze decides to go back to the Junkyard with him so the two can be together. He speaks with a thick German accent and has problems understanding more complicated English words. Kunze calls the toms in the tribe nicknames using "Herr," for example, calling Munk "Herr Protector" and Old Deuteronomy "Herr Leader," and calls the Queens in the tribe "Fraulein."

Kitten OCs

Sylvani (she/her) Design: US Tour 5 Sillabub

The daughter of Bombalurina and Macavity. Sylvani received none of her parent's confidence and is a very anxious kitten who can be rather self-deprecating. She loves looking after kittens, dreaming of one day having a large family herself. Being young herself, however, she isn't the best sometimes at kitten wrangling and often loses the kittens she is tasked with watching. Sylvani is close friends with her half-sisters and becomes mates with Admetus. 

Lumine (she/her)

Daughter of Tugger and Bombalurina, born when Sylvani is roughly of Jellicle Ball age. She is a confident young kitten, getting both of her parent's confidence. When she's older, she is a gorgeous Queen, much like her mother. As a kitten, however, she is very clingy with Bomba and is prone to temper tantrums. Lumine has a rivalry with her brother Trass over being the center of attention. When she's roughly older teenage, she meets and is instantly drawn to Tapper when he first visits the Junkyard.

Trassel (he/him) Design: Gothenburg Tugger

The first of Misto and Tugger's magic kittens, with Misto accidentally producing the kitten out of thin air. Trassel has magic powers like Misto but takes the most after Tugger in terms of personality. He's loud, showy, and loves being the center of attention. Trass has a rivalry with Lumine, often using his magic to try and "one-up" her, but has a bigger rivalry with Gideon when the two are adults.

Alexander (he/him)

The son of Artemis and Tugger. He is Artemis’ first born and the eventual successor to their role as the tribe archiver. Alexander is well-behaved and quiet, a big bookworm like his mother. He takes after Artemis in his fur color, being mostly grey and white, but inherits Tugger’s exact eye color. Alexander ends up being tall, taller than his father, much to the confusion of Artemis on where his height came from. Alexander loves helping Artemis with their work, and he is excited about one day taking on their important role in the tribe when he’s older.

Lia (she/her)

Artemis’ first daughter, and assumed to be Tugger’s kitten. She looks the most like Artemis, her fur design being identical but inverse in color. Lia is close with her brother Alexander as they are very close in age. Lia is a talented dancer, being a very graceful ballerina, and she often receives lessons from Victoria. She becomes mates with Bill Bailey when she’s older.

Nemeia (she/her) Design: Ill Sistina Jemima

Another magic kitten who belongs to Misto, Tugger, and Bomba. Unlike the other magic kittens, Nemeia was poofed into existence as an already grown kitten rather than a newborn. Nemeia is tiny, being the smallest fully grown cat in the tribe, and spends most of her kittenhood mute. Her preferred method of communication is biting, which she does and does often, though always out of affection rather than malice. She has a phase of only wanting to be around Munkustrap.

Kara (she/her)

Daughter of Tugger and Artemis, the "oldest" of Artemis' triplets. She is a black and brown kitten, sporting Tugger's spots going back her shoulders. Kara is easily annoyed and isn't afraid to voice her annoyance and frustration. She's argumentative and stubborn, often getting into squabbles with other kittens that Munkustrap has to break up. When she's older, she becomes a bombshell of a Queen that many cats have their eyes on, but she has no interest in romance.

Therai (he/him)

The second born of Artemis' triplets and biologically is Rialto's son but is adopted by Lorenzo when Rialto doesn't step up to raise him. He is bright red and black like his father, and he's a loud, rambunctious kitten. He does not get along with his sister Kara, insisting the two are not related despite being born together. Therai is protective of his sister Kalima, calling her his "little" sister despite the two being the same age. Despite not getting along with Kara, the two are the troublemakers of the Artemis' kittens.

Kalima (she/her) Design: China 2012 Sillabub

Daughter of Artemis and Lorenzo, the "runt" of the Artemis' triplets. She is a tiny but kind kitten who inherited her father's penchant for panic. Kalima is shy and often assumes the worst during situations. She is often assumed to be younger than Kara and Therai despite the three of them being triplets due to her being much smaller than her siblings. Kalima often has to break up little squabbles between Kara and Therai, being the voice of reason out of the three of them.  

Duncan (he/him)

Adopted son of Rumpleteazer and raised by her and Tugger, though Jerrie steps up and also helps raise him when Duncan is older. Found as a newborn abandoned kitten while Teazer and Jerrie were on a heist, and his namesake is from him being found in a Duncan-Hines box. Duncan is very food driven, always on the search for his next meal, and Teazer often brings him back swag bags full of treats. He's dotted on by his grandfather Skimble. Duncan becomes a talented tumbler when he's older and is close with his sister Nemeia.

Ophelia (she/her) Design: Chorus Griz

The first kitten and only daughter of Plato and Victoria. Ophelia is much like her parents and is a well-behaved and gentle kitten. She loves reading and becomes very close to Alexander and the two are often caught by the adults reading a book together. The two eventually become mates when they are older.

Gideon (he/him)

The last of Misto's accidental magic kittens. Gideon happens after the other Tugger kittens are older, and he takes after Tugger almost entirely looks wise. Because of this, Tugger is very clingy to him when he's first born, happy to have a kitten inherit his mane. Despite inheriting his father's good looks, Gideon is a fairly shy kitten and doesn't adjust to being the center of attention until he's a young adult.

Bill Bailey (he/him) Design: Revival Bill Bailey

The second kitten and only son of Plato and Victoria. He's much louder and more charismatic than the rest of his family and harbors an unrequited crush on Kara that goes nowhere despite his many attempts to win her over. However, he does eventually fall in love with Lia when the two are older.

Tapper (he/him) Design: Street Cat Tugger

A young street cat who finds himself in the Junkyard one day after being recommended by Bustopher Jones that he go there to learn "manners and respect." He is immediately attracted to Lumine when he first sees her and decides to stick around, with the two becoming mates once they're older.

Admetus (he/him) Design: OG Broadway Plato

A young tom in the same age group and close friends with Tumble and Pounce. He is a friendly, easy-going tom who is under Munk's wing like Plato. He is mates with Sylvani and is very good at calming her down when she is anxious

Oldies OCs:.

Coeus (he/they)

Deceased. Artemis’ father who was the previous tribe archiver, but was the Jellicle Choice when Artemis was an older kitten. He was notoriously meticulous and always put his work first. While Artemis’ mother is unknown, Coeus used to be mates with Gus the Theater Cat and was apart of the Raffish Crew back in the day. 

Eloise (she/her)

An OC based off my old cat. She is a sweet, kind Queen who is close in age and close friends with Jenny and Jelly. She is a Himalayan cat, and is very fluffy to the point where she looks much bigger than she actually is. Eloise is affectionate, especially to her mate Gus Jr and her son, Wyndham. 

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

[yotome]

Cynic seeks route to experience actual emotions

(minor not very important spoilers for Sariel)

My first route was Clavis. He's actually the reason I started Ikepri, and I liked him much more than I thought I would - I tore through that storyline twice like nobody's business! In other words, he set a pretty dang high standard.

Next, there was Chevalier. Gotta understand Chevalier to understand Clavis, right? I got through both runs in decent time, though occasionally Chev's MC over-otomed me, and I would have to take a recovery break to handle my alarmingly berserk blood pressure.

I read one of Leon's routes after that, and he seemed like a cool dude. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do both, though, so I tried Yves. He is baby.

I next landed on Sariel's route. It had just been released, after all, plus he's purple and wears glasses for extra cool points. It didn't seem to be going much of anywhere for me at the start, but hey, you never know! It could ramp up!

Then I got to the first hint of romance, and ...

Oh. She fell off something (stairs? ladder? the floor?) because otome, but held onto her books also because otome because she treasures them greatly. He's kinda touched by the strength of her passions overcoming the instinctive fear of a fall, or something (i.e. she didn't catch herself). She thinks he's hot and possibly morally questionable. Yes, honey, he is both. He wouldn't wear a pant leg made of belts if he was just some normal guy.

I tried to go "aww" but found the impulse utterly missing. I wasn't even irritated, weirdly enough. Hello? Heart? You still in there?

... No response.

At that point, I stopped reading his route. I didn't change to another suitor, as I kept telling myself that I'd resume in a little bit. Of course, life happened, and there were days where I forgot to log in ... which is when the app started doing THIS:

The first time it happened: I guess that's kinda cute.

The secondish time: You already told me that.

The ??? time: Dammit Sariel, get over the punishment gag already. What are you, a minister or a one-trick pony??

The most recent time: YOU THINK YOU CAN PUNISH ME, DO YOU? FOOL. YOU HARDLY KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD. I'LL MAKE YOU TALK TO CLAVIS FOR 24 HOURS STRAI... hold up, am I getting dramatic at an app notification??

So I'm thinking that's a sign I probably should change routes now. :D (And block the notifications.) I just don't have a particular route I really want to start at the moment, so I must ponder. I am leaning towards avoiding Nokto, mostly because I Strongly. Dislike. Suitors. Getting all up in my MC's space, and I just have A Bad Feeling About This (TM) when it comes to him.

That still leaves:

Jin "I like the tiddies so much I got my own set" Grandet, either route

Leon, who is definitely a Good Guy but his armor looks too loose somehow, round 2

The actual Muffin Man, Yves*, round 2

Licht, who I understand has some Srs Probbems, either route

Luke "Eh" Randolph, who seems eh in turn?, either route

Or heck, I could just ride the roller coaster of bad decisions made with the best of intentions again. You do you in every route and event, Clavis, and I appreciate that. You do you.

*it is only thanks to this game that I know "Yves" is pronounced "eve." Not all "Yeh-ves" weird like I'd been saying it FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. Thanks, otome! The more you know.

** I did not know anyone named Yves, so I never heard the name said out loud and just ... well, I'm gonna pronounce all the letters I see written unless someone tells me otherwise. That's how my brain rolls.

[belethlegwen]

What does Henry think of other media, like video games and literature?

Did Henry introduce any new games to Melanie? Any that she liked?

He gets wildly motion sick from most video games, it turns out. Melanie tries to introduce him to a number of them and even 3rd-person view is just very very hard for him to process. When she does let herself play games sometimes, he prefers to just hang out nearby and read or catch up on his journaling. Literature? He loves. She introduces him to e-books and they do spend some time reading physical books together but Melanie has a hard time with her neck when reading unless in certain positions, and those positions lend themselves to relatively frequent bookdrops, so he took a few of those and then decided he could just read on the phone. He enjoyed audio books a bit but with a lot of different terms that he's not familiar with in so many of them, he absolutely preferred to be reading so he could tell if something was like... made up for a story he might be reading, or if something was a term he should look up and research.

He taught Melanie a couple of games, most of them silly dice, card or other simple games that sailors and people in port-side bars would gamble money on. They were the easiest ones. Chess is timeless/timelineless/dimensionless so they had played that a few times (Melanie is not very good at the game, Henry is significantly better but he liked it mostly for the conversations they would have over it. Melanie is more open to certain topics when she's lost in strategy and the like, and he took advantage of that whenever he could) He was very interested in trying to teach her more complicated card games but every time she touched a deck of cards she would do the same magic trick just to annoy him-- he could never figure it out-- and so he stopped bringing them up. There was a story-telling game he started doing with Melanie, Laura, Dyna, and Mark when they would all be drinking, based on one of his favourite sailing games that they all actually loved (Mostly Melanie and Dyna). Details of that game below the cut:

One person starts a story, creates the setting which says these details in any order: Name of Place, Season of Year, Time of Day Then they, and everyone else around the table/deck/wherever it's happening introduces their characters with these details: Name, Occupation, and what they're doing in the setting. The goal is to tell a story, together, incorporating everyone's characters and weaving a tale, but if you get an important detail wrong (you have to point to the person who's character you're narrating/speaking to or about/etc, pointing to the wrong person counts in this) such as a name, occupation, the name of the setting, the time of day or season, you have to drink. Only if someone calls you out though. If you get through an intentional wrong detail and no one calls you out before the next person starts speaking, you can call it and everyone else has to drink a shot for missing it. So it goes like this: Everyone pours drinks

Person One: In the township of HAVERSTONE, the WINTER winds were knocking the last dead leaves across the cobblestones in the early MORNING light. JACOB the BUTCHER was just entering his shop. Person Two: JACOB the BUTCHER ran the best damn meatshop in all of HAVERSTONE, and with the big WINTER sale coming up, he had to open the shop as early as possible this MORNING. SUSAN the MIDWIFE was just crossing the street when... Person Three: GAVIN the SCHOOLBOY came running up toward JACOB the BUTCHER from his meatshop, screaming that sometime in the night, a thief had smashed the glass and made off with his prized steaks! He had been on the way to school this MORNING and wanted to see what Jacob had displayed for the WINTER sale. And then... and it'll loop back around and everyone builds on the story. You don't have to repeat EVERY name, EVERY time, but you have to narrate at least one character other than yourself and you can't go more than two turns without mentioning a specific character's name, or you drink. It becomes chaos with more than three people but that's literally all the fun of it; especially when dialogue and funny voices get involved. People get caught up in the unimportant details and forget the ones you get dinged for messing up, it gets harder and harder as you drink, the more people drink the crazier the stories tend to get. It's a good laugh.

Thank you so so much for the ask! Hope you enjoyed the answer!

[harmonyckrs]

Day 19 of Twisted Pleasantview: The Person with "L" in Their Name

THE PREVIOUS DAY

NAME: DIRK DREAMER

LIFE STAGE: TEEN

STATUS: UNKNOWN

SPECIAL NOTES: Really wants to get into private school, but at what cost?

---

Dear Diary,

Just when things are starting to calm down, Dirk ends up gonig missing!

Mr. Dreamer said that his school email was open, and that there was a weird email from Mom that was in all caps. Unlike mine, though, it was just "help i've been kidnapped." Ms. Broke said that she could probably get her hacker friend to trace it, but that he had ended up in a coma after an unknown incident. Because of that, I'm guessing it was probably her fairy friend lol

Angela and Dustin said they got the exact same email as Dirk, and seemed surprised about mine. Mr. Dreamer also pointed out that the letters in bold spelled out "BELLA" backwards, though I don't think it could've been her who sent it. She only had one brother, and he's dead. I guess it's possible he was resurrected, but Nina had moved his urn so that he would be next to Dina's tombstone in the local graveyard, so I don't think that's possible.

Ms. Broke also mentioned that her fairy friend said that he had to sacrifice half of his power to seal a dangerous man to prevent him from causing further damage to the world, but that she didn't get his name. Dustin and Beau also started talking about the man they saw behind a wall, and we made the connection that the guy Ms. Broke was talking about and the person Dustin and Beau saw were probably the same person.

Our conversation was cut short, though, because we all had to go to school.

At school, I learned two things:

Rosaline wasn't kidding about Juliet's mental breakdown

Mercutio and Tank went missing too

Ripp didn't seem too concerned, and when I asked him about it he said that he was sure Tank could protect himself. He also said he had a "trick up his sleeve" that he was planning to use in order to force the police to give a shit about him disappearing.

Rosaline also asked me if I got an email from "Lazlo." Upon her saying that, Ripp kind of snapped and then started running off somewhere as if he was some kind of activated sleeper agent. I would've went after him, but he was practically flying. I'm a pretty athletic person, but I know fully well that no human could catch up to him. And I don't even know how! I've seen him in P.E. and his mile time is ass.

Anyway, Rosaline told me that she had received an email with a bunch of recordings, and that she wanted to invite me home so that we could watch them together. Since Mercutio and Romeo were both missing, I'm assuming it's safe to do so without accidentally becoming a part of the feud.

Juliet was kind of cold towards me when I went, but she went outside almost immediately so it was just Rosaline and I. The recordings were all just videos that were pointed at a wall, with a blurry silhouette of a man behind it. The man would move around a lot, and I could make out a couple of things on the other end.

TRANSCRIPT:

???: Hello, Lazlo! How are you enjoying your first day in fairy prison?

L: Well, I guess it could be worse. Why are you holding a camera?

???: Just wanted to get a video of this priceless moment. The first day of the rest of your life. Now, answer my question.

L: Well, it's nice of you to get me all the essentials. But can I at least get a TV? Or a computer? It's really boring. I've read every book in here, TWICE!

L: And you know you can't keep me here forever, right? Pascal and Vidcund are going to find out about what you did, and they're going to rain hell on you!

???: Your family thinks you're dead, and I just came back from your funeral. Nobody's going to save you. And even if they were, everyone from Strangetown is now under my control! And I've made it so that if any woman says your name within earshot, they'll be triggered to capture the closest person!

P: Fuck! That must've been what happened to Ripp!

R: What are we going to do, Lilith?

P: I don't know! Just continue playing the recording.

L: Why women, specifically?

???: Well, I don't want anyone to accidentally activate the trigger.

L: What about Zoya?

???: I've erased her memories, alongside Aktu's and Hamza's. They don't know who you are anymore, and I've told them to refer to you as "Laz." All they've been told is that you're a dangerous man who needs to be locked up.

L: You're fucking evil, man.

???: I've gotta be, in order to get my revenge.

R: Do you recognize the voice at all?

P: No, but considering Crystal is from Strangetown, it makes sense we won't recognize her. Let's just watch the rest of the videos.

THE NEXT DAY

[alexithykia]

💭🎤☺️ for the ask game <3

yumeee~ thank chu 4 asking !! hehe dis might get a liiiil longgg... oopsie !!

what do you think your f/o thinks about you when you're not around?

all of them probably instantly wonder if i'm safe... i'm very clumsy, unlucky and prone to trouble !! but they'll also have their own individual thoughts too !!

avenlexi... ♡ i'm not usually separated from him for too long.. unless he's off on some ipc mission i can't tag along for :c he most likely worries that gross men are gonna hit on me while he's gone ! but it's okay becuz i wear a pretty aventurine choker all the time as his lil piece of ownership teehee !

aletio... ♡ usually wondering if i've eaten today :c i tend to get lost in my own world within my books and research... i guess you could say i overwork a lot ! if he's not able to check n' remind me, he probably worries a lot abt that even if he denies it !

sunexi... ♡ if i'm not with him, chances are i'm working n' being an idol ! maybe wonders when the next time our schedules will permit us seeing each other again :c whether my fans are being too much, if i'm eating and resting enough between schedules... oopsie... i better text him c:

lexipaz... ♡ miss topaz probably wonders if i'm done with my reports :c despite knowin' i'll be in her office with them when they are done !! also probaaaably wondering if i want my usual drink order, sometimes she likes to surprise me since i'm the one who always comes to work with the drinks c:

does your f/o sing or play music? if so, how are they at their craft, and what's your favourite thing about it?

sunexi... ♡ sunday plays violin !! it's one of my fave things eveeeeer !! he's so good at playing i try to convince him to play solos with me at my performances :c but he says no ! i'll have to settle for him performing duets with me in his study... my fave thing abt it is how peaceful n' elegant he looks while he plays !! being the leader of penacony isn't easy... me thinks playing violin is a lil stress relief!

what about your f/o makes you smile every single time? furthermore, what's something you do that makes your f/o smile every time?

avenlexi... ♡ i have little habits of kissing his brand whenever i'm seated on his lap during poker games :c i'll bury my head into his neck n' place little kisses over the brand n' me thinks it makes him smile a lil bit that he has to hide it ! whereas i always get smiley n' giggly when he's tossing poker chips in his hands... i like seeing all the tricks he can do c:

aletio... ♡ veritas is very observant... he notices that when i read, i trace my nails on my skin :c whether it's on my thighs or shoulders, i like to trail my nails on the skin for comfort - that is until he situates himself beside me n' takes over so i can put both hands on my book c: meanwhile i lovelovelove when he gets all focus-y when he's sculpting... his eyebrows will furrow n' he purses his lips in concentration. it makes me smile bc he's sososo passionate abt his work !!

sunexi... ♡ whenever someone speaks to me while i'm playing the piano regardless of whether it's sunday or maids, etc. i'll always stop playing ! i'm not too great at multitasking and i think sunday gets amused by that... on the other hand i loooove watching sunday's wings when he focuses !! he catches me smiling a lot bc i'm sat watching the way his wings move when he's reading over documents. his eyes will focus n' his lips will go into a thin line but i can always tell from the way his wings move first !!

lexipaz... ♡ miss topaz always smiles when i start daydreaming... whether we're at work or at home, if i'm typing away n' then look out of the window, i usually get distracted n' disappear into my own world !! she'll clear her throat so i snap outta it but she's always got a lil smile on her face that makes me all flustered n' shy for gettin' caught in the act :c n' everyone knows miss topaz talks to numby but nobody sees the way she talks to them behind closed doors c: it's so cute !! how can you not smile when she uses a lil baby voice with them- oops i think i said too much !!