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eastwindmlk · 7 months

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In the cards

So,I originally wrote this for the Bittersweet challenge for @jilytoberfest where, and I got to turn an angsty quote into a sweet one. “You have given me so much pain.” has inspired this cracktacular piece of fiction. It did get yoinked at some point, but I will reupload for your consideration this @jilymicrofics (807 words) Enjoy!

Game night was always a big thing with the Potters. It was the one night a week when no one was allowed to make other plans. They took turns picking and bringing games, ordered food and poured generously from whatever alcohol was being served that night. It was cosy. Something to look forward to during the week. This was one of those weeks that James really looked forward to a night of friendly competition and hours of conversation.

Depending on whose turn it was to pick the game, the night turned out differently. James favoured co-op games, working together to get to the goal. Sirius, on the other hand, liked trivia games, things that he knew he would excel at. Peter preferred the silly sort of game, something active and guaranteed to give you the giggles. Remus always seemed to find amazing niche games with complicated plots and mysteries. Rich in storytelling and creative solutions.

And then there was Lily. Lily had a way of finding the most competitive, aggravating, friendship-ending games. Which had all started with Monopoly, a game that was now banned from the table. As a direct result of a gruelling, no-prisoners game that lasted seven hours before they collectively gave up. Which launched a series of game nights that only a masochist would enjoy. So clearly, all of them had the time of their life.

Other games brought by the redhead and subsequently banned were: Sorry, Settlers of Catan, Scrabble and for unrelated reasons charades. Which they mutually agreed was better kept for when they were forced to stay family-friendly. It did not always go wrong though. There had been a few fine games and one that everyone seemed to enjoy a lot more, despite multiple squabbles and disagreements. Risk, which was added to the permanent rotation.

Tonight was Lily’s turn and everyone was equal parts excited and apprehensive. Hoping she would finally fail in her streak of finding the worst games. So, when James got him and saw the pack of cards sitting on the table in the living room. He was relieved. Cards were usually fine. They had several card games they rotated. But this was Lily they were talking about.

For a moment James inspected the package, it looked innocent enough. Pretty straightforward too. But this was Lily. He was sure that there was some chaos involved, but he really could not see too much pain in a card game called UNO. Little did he know just how wrong he would be.

The first few rounds were rather tame. While the rules were simple, everyone seemed to hold back a little. Testing the waters. Not wanting to get into too much trouble until after dinner. Much to Remus’s dismay, Chinese food arrived. Halting the round for everyone to eat their fill and crack open another bottle of wine.

What happened next was the most unfortunate set of circumstances James could have ever imagined. He was riding high with only two cards left in his hand, the colour in his favour and he even had a mythical plus four cards ready to mess with Remus on his right. But right before the round could get to him Sirius threw down a skip card, moving his turn to Remus instead. Which was disappointing, but he could do another round.

Or not. Luck seemed to be smiling down on him when Remus reversed the turn order. That is where it all went wrong for him. Emboldened by his stroke of luck, he threw down the plus four proudly announcing: “Uno!” He smirked along the table when he caught the glint in Lily’s eye. And as if in slow motion he watched Sirius place a plus two on the board. Watching Lily doubt what card she should be putting down, made him nervous. For good reason too. Watching her place down another plus four.

Peter added a plus two, deciding on the colour red. His lucky colour. Which did not let him down when Remus was merciful, playing a reverse card. Seemingly saving him from his fate. The rollercoaster continues with Lily putting on a third plus four. It was now all up to Sirius, who paused just long enough for James to remark: “You have given me so much pain already. Just do it.”

Deflating when his friend placed down another plus two. Making the total cards he was drawing sixteen. Enough cards to force them to reshuffle the pile just so he could draw more. Muttering, much to everyone’s entertainment. “Lils picked this game alright.” Feeling hands on his shoulders from all sides. Consoling what would be a devastating loss on his part. Something only mildly mediated by Lily saying “Don’t worry love, I will make it up to you when everyone leaves.” Her wink made him feel only a little better.

#jily #james potter #lily evans #jily fic #jple #jily microfic

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mikuchan · 5 months

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bonus short piece (850 words)...where Alfira once again has to tell Minthara to just be nice already

taking place between chapter 4 (Lakrissa leaving the Elfsong table) and chapter 5 (Alfira approaching her the next morning) of Something to Play For

because @gaeldricge and I were talking about it!

Words, Alfira thinks, can solve a lot. Poetry, songs, long deep talks…even arguments have their place at times.

Her brother once told her she should go into law. With her mind and her social attitude, she’d be a pip of a trial lawyer. She could even, he’d said, become a magistrate like their uncle – but that sort of thing has never interested Alfira. She’d rather write ballads about a person’s daring deeds, not use it against them in some stuffy court.

Still. It’s thoughts of her uncle that circle her mind now, and she emulates him as best she can. Shoulders squared, chin held high. Firm logic, fair results. No singsong silliness now. It’s time to lay down the law.

“Minthara,” Alfira says, “you can not be rude to Lakrissa like that.”

Minthara’s sitting in bed, one leg crooked at the knee. A book’s propped against it: an undercommon novel Wyll found her at some shop or another. She looks up sharply at Alfira’s approach. “I don’t recall being rude. The wine was fine. Your company was enjoyable.”

“Lakrissa’s company was enjoyable, too.” This comes out less judicious and more childish, and she shores up her voice. “She’s important to me, Minthy, and you hurt her feelings. We hurt her feelings. It was unacceptable, and we need to do better going forward.”

“Lakrissa’s feelings are not for me to concern myself with.” Minthara’s tone is casual, but the words needle Alfira’s heart.

Ugh. She’s being awful – but she’s right. Kind of. Alfira was so glad to have them both with her, hands firm and warm and safe in hers, she didn’t stop to think about their relationship. If she’s being honest, she kind of didn’t want to.

Of course Minthara wasn’t going to be pleasant. Of course Lakrissa was going to raise her hackles and throw up every emotional wall she has. They’re practically strangers. (And, to be fair, their introduction was…less than ideal. But the Grove situation wasn’t really Minthara’s fault, because it wasn’t really Minthara. It’s all in the past now, anyway.)

Alfira’s the only tie that binds them now, and she’s somehow been taken as object to fight over instead of delightful bard who brings everyone together. She recalls Lakrissa’s face – grinning and warm, then so shuttered as she left the table – and her chest constricts. No, that can’t go on.

“I’m your concern,” Alfira says strictly, “so Lakrissa is too. You have to be kinder. No more antagonism.”

Minthara rolls her eyes, and Alfira frowns. They’re two peas in a pod, honestly. Her prickly, stubborn, temperamental women.

They’re both smart, too, which Alfira admires – but sometimes they’re a little too smart. Lakrissa’s always getting in her own head, and Minthara forever thinks she alone knows best. Wish all she wants, Alfira can’t force them into getting along.

But she also can’t let Minthara run roughshod over everything.

Minthara has ostensibly returned to her book, but she’s not really reading it: she’s been on the same paragraph since Alfira approached. The bard joins her on the bed, settling herself cross-legged on the comforter.

“What’s it about?” she asks, nodding at the novel.

“A fictional House,” Minthara says. “Their Matron has been granted the ritual of Zin-carla, but struggles to wield it effectively.”

“Ooh! Exciting. I hope she figures it out.” Alfira lets this hang in the air, then says: “Lakrissa loves adventure novels.”

“Hm.”

“You could talk to her about them.”

Minthara finally flips the page. Huh. Maybe she is just a slow reader. “I doubt we have the same taste.”

“Well, you both like me.” Alfira says. “She’s really wonderful, Minthy, and so are you. Just give her a chance, and be nice. No name-calling, no squabbling, no making her uncomfortable on purpose. I’m serious.”

Minthara frowns. “I do not intend to play nicely with the opposition.”

“Gods, will you just stop!” Several others glance over at Alfira’s raised tone. She takes a deep breath, and continues in a lower voice: “That’s my point. Lakrissa isn’t your opposition, Minthara, and I’m not some housegirl to be fought over.”

Minthara arches one eyebrow.

“I’m not,” Alfira says firmly. “Minthara, please. You didn’t like me either at first. You thought I was silly. You said you’d toss me to the spiders.”

“I’m still considering it,” Minthara says. Alfira ignores this.

“I’m not saying you have to love her,” she says instead. “You don’t even have to like her, I guess. But I do, Minthara, and I’m telling you: be polite. Don’t play big-scary-drow with me, I know you’ve got it in you. Be nice.”

Minthara’s eyebrows crease, and her lips are turned down in displeasure – but Alfira holds her gaze, and eventually she nods. “If you insist.”

“You’re lovely,” Alfira cries. Shifting onto her knees, she leans forward and kisses Minthara’s cheek. “You really are a sweetheart, you know.”

Tomorrow she’ll find Lakrissa. She’ll apologize, they’ll talk, and everything will work out just fine. Before long, it’ll be just like old times again – except it’ll be even better, because now Minthara’s here too.

Everything will be good, in the end.

She knows it.

#bg3 #something to play for #minthara's reading book two of the drizzy do'urden series lolol #mine #bonus writing

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sophieinwonderland · 2 years

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Are you fucking dumb? If you dont have a disorder dont fucking speak on it. It's not your topic. You do not had DID/OSDD, you do not experience ableism in the way we do. You are a TULPA. You reek of fucking privilege. Keep our names out of your fucking mouth and mind your place. You are a vile, microagressive, racist, ableist.

To answer your question, no, I don't consider myself fucking dumb. Although this brain is quite a bit less intelligent than my source's and it was initially really annoying to have trouble accessing knowledge that fictional me should have known innately. Luckily, I got used to it pretty quickly. 😁

I'm going to ignore the other ad hominems because I don't think they're particularly relevant. There are a couple things I want to address though.

First, I agree that people who don't have a disorder shouldn't speak on it as if they had it. However, obviously, the extreme of "no one can talk about this subject at all unless they experienced it" is obviously silly. I'm sure even you would have to admit that you wouldn't be sending hate mail to a singlet who was saying things you agreed with.

I don't have the experiences of an OSDD/DID system, but I'll talk about our own experiences as a tulpa systems, I'll talk about the experiences of OSDD/DID systems that I know when it's relevant, and I'll talk about science relating to systemhood as a whole.

As far as ableism goes, I can't say that the experiences are going to be identical, but I have to ask you honestly... if you go up to the average singlet and tell them that you have other people in your head who you talk to and occasionally drive the body around... how much of a difference do you think it will make to them whether you call it a tulpa, an alter, or a spirit?

To most singlets, we're all going to be treated as if we're crazy. We're all going to be mistrusted. Most of us are going to hideaway and mask as much as we can because most of the world isn't going to accept us.

I mean, hiding is easier for me because I don't get frontstuck. (Even though I'm always coconscious.) But it's not easy to know that I have to. To know that the world would reject me if I was out in public. So I hide and avoid people and silently cringe when someone calls me "sir" in public because I can't use my name or dress the body how I'd like out of fear of discrimination we might face.

It might not be exactly the same, but it's not entirely separate either. Sanism isn't based on whether you're healthy or not. It's based on whether or not you're "normal." Anyone who doesn't fit the neurotypical mold is going to be discriminated against because of it.

Which raises the question... why are you doing this?

With vast amounts of ableism and sanism out there directed at plural systems of all kinds, what do you think you're accomplishing by sending anon hate to other plural systems?

Surely, you can see that none of this squabbling and exclusionism in the community is doing anything to address the issues we face in the real world. So why is it so important to you?

#ask box #syscourse #endogenic #system #systems #multiplicity #plural #plurality

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hephaestuscrew · 3 years

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Why You Should Listen to Arden

I feel like I haven't done a 'why you should listen to this show I love' post in a while, and I was thinking about Arden again today, so here's some pitches.

Overview: Arden is an audio drama about the making of a fictional true crime podcast. A radio journalist who takes herself extremely seriously is reluctantly forced to host a show with a private detective who enjoys winding up her co-host.

If you like Shakespeare… Season 1 is Romeo and Juliet retold as a cold case involving a missing starlet and an unidentified torso. Season 2 is Hamlet retold as the story of a family ranch in Montana. Benedict and Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing are squabbling female radio hosts. There are lots of fun little references to Shakespeare. (However, you don't have to have any knowledge or interest in Shakespeare at all to understand and enjoy Arden.)

If you like comedy... Arden is not afraid to be gloriously silly. There's some brilliant parodying of true crime podcasting, including some ridiculous fake ads. There's some very good banter and absurd disagreements. There's an eccentric billionaire who puts that on his business cards. There's a whole world of intriguing made-up pop culture, such as Julie Capsom's famous role in 'Jane Austen Fight Club'. (Cont. below the cut)

If you like drama and suspense… The adaptation aspect does not mean that you know what's coming, even if you are familiar with the plays. The drama and intensity comes in much more in the second season (which at times had me on the edge of my seat and at other times tore my heart out with Emotions), but Season 1 still kept me gripped.

If you like shows with queer rep… Arden features a compelling wlw will-they-won't-they dynamic (I normally Do Not Care about sexual tension between characters, but Arden managed to actually make me invested in that, which is quite a feat); a trans woman (in Season 2) who has her shit together more than basically all of the other characters and whose transness is relevant but not the centre of her storyline; and an aroace character (revealed in S2, the word asexual is used, aromanticism is implied and creator-confirmed) who has a deep conversation about being aroace whilst standing next to a dead body.

If you like stories that explore big issues… Arden gets into questions about the ethics of true crime (and journalism in general), the celebrity complex, mental health, and the power of big business. These ideas are sometimes explored in a playful way and sometimes in a very serious way.

A couple of other selling points: The cast includes Michelle Agresti, who played Maxwell in Wolf 359 (the other actors are all incredible too, but Michelle Agresti is the one my followers will already know). Season 2 features an album's worth of amazing original songs (inspired by Hamlet's soliloquies).

#I feel like I still haven't managed to fully express the nature of it #But this is an attempt to spread the word #Like most of my favourite podcasts it is hard to pitch #because it has a lot going on #and also because it pivots from comedy to drama #Oh another thing I should say is pay attention to the content warnings particularly in S2 cos it gets Intense at times #But it is Very Good #It has been a while since I listened but I am considering a relisten #even though I am already supposedly relistening to like 3 other shows #Arden #arden podcast #podcast recs #podcasts #audio drama #the empty man posteth

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fific7 · 3 years

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There May Be Trouble Ahead - Part 3

John Whittaker x Reader

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s all lemon zest 🍋 because the world deserves more of the over-eager puppy that is the handsome Johnny Whittaker. And puppies need discipline.

The song excerpt is from ‘Let’s Face the Music and Dance’ which surely must be John’s life anthem? (It wasn’t released until 1936 but there’s that fiction writer’s licence again.)

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral between consenting adults*. Some drinking.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(Not my GIF, credit to owner)

As John followed you out of his bedroom, you asked him if you might use the bathroom and he took your hand once more, guiding you along the corridor and pointing at a door. Once inside, you looked around at the huge roll-top bath and large porcelain sink. You smiled, once again it all seemed very Victorian to your (you liked to think) very modern eye.

Coming back downstairs a little later on, you heard a murmur of voices from below you and paused on the half-landing, tip-toeing to the edge and peeking cautiously over the banister rail.

John and Sarah were standing in the large lobby, and you noticed that John had his arms crossed over his chest in a very defensive stance.

You heard Sarah say in her quiet voice, “I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Johnny.” You grimaced as she said “Johnny” and the familiar way she used it. “I mean I hardly have to remind you what happened the last time you met someone and got carried away, do I? She ran off with your Father!” Your mouth rounded into an ‘O’ as you heard those explosive words. A scowl appeared on John’s face, and he snapped, “Well firstly, you did just remind me! And secondly, at least the old man’s not around this time to run off with my wife!”

“Wife!” exclaimed Sarah, “She’s an acquaintance at best! Hardly appropriate to speak of her as your wife. You met her, what - a week ago?” “Took me less time than that with Larita,” shot back John. Now it was Sarah’s turn to pull a face. “I’m just saying to take it more slowly this time, Johnny, that’s all!” John started striding away from her and you pulled back from the banister in case either of them looked up and spotted you. “Well, thank you for the advice, Sarah. You can rest assured that this time I shall be doing things with less haste and more consideration.”

Through the banister rails you watched Sarah remain standing there for a moment, crestfallen, before following after John.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

John stalked into the sitting room, heading for a cigarette box on one of the low tables and opening it. Thankfully it wasn’t empty, so he took one out, tapped it a couple of times and lit it with the ornate table lighter next to the box. He drew on it before blowing out a long plume of smoke into the air. He heard heels making their way across the large rug behind him and hoped it was his guest, turning with a smile on his face.

Seeing that it was Sarah, his smile faded and he knew she’d noticed that. But why then did she have to keep on at him like some kind of mother hen? He sighed, “What other pearls of wisdom are you here to cast before me, Sarah?”

She tried a tentative smile, “I don’t mean to nag, Johnny. You know I don’t. It’s as I said, I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” He moved over to the large windows, gazing out over the landscape, “I don’t intend to, believe me. And I don’t intend to hurt my new lady friend either,” he replied, still smoking his cigarette and speaking over his shoulder to her, “I’ve met someone I truly like and I’m not about to mess it up.”

He turned back to the window and therefore missed seeing Sarah’s lips tightening into an almost-snarl as she heard his words.

And unbeknownst to him, the ‘someone’ of whom he spoke was currently listening just outside the sitting room.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

A quiet voice behind you made you jump. “Are you lost, madam?” You swung round. Oh, it was the butler, Furber was it?

“Oh no, it’s fine thank you, Mr Furber. I’m just looking for John and I think I’ve found him now.” You pointed theatrically - and somewhat ridiculously - into the sitting room, before giving him an embarrassed smile and disappearing through the door.

You saw that Sarah was now the one adopting the defensive body language, and she and John were staring each other down in what looked like some kind of Mexican Standoff.

Okay, you thought, here I go with my ‘Absolutely Innocent of Eavesdropping’ act.

“Oh, John - there you are! I thought I’d lost you for a moment,” and you gave him a big smile. “Hello, Sarah!” you added, now looking at her and still smiling, but it was a very much smaller one than John had received from you.

John reacted as you’d hoped he would and came rushing over to you immediately, hand going to yours. “Do you want to go, darling? We can, you know.” “Perhaps we should,” you said, “we don’t want to take up the whole of everyone’s afternoon, do we?” He grinned at you, “No, we don’t, darling.”

You hid a smile, thinking that he was perhaps slightly overdoing it with the ‘darling’s’ but you’d take them all. Because you’d caught a look of absolute fury on Sarah’s face for a split-second when she’d heard the first ‘darling’ leave his lips.

That’s more like it, girl! you thought gleefully, let out all that broiling jealousy and sexual tension hiding inside that calm little head!

If she wasn’t going to be honest about her true feelings and instead mess around playing silly mind games, then that really wasn’t your problem. You’d just met John, you liked him (much to your amazement, you had to admit) and you wanted to see where things led.

It had annoyed you, quite frankly, when you’d heard her dripping words of doubt into John’s ear as if she was merely a concerned bystander, instead of being an interested party herself.

And if she was going to play dirty, then you just might have to as well.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

John was feeling immensely relieved as he drove the two of them away from Flintham Hall. His darling (which was how he found himself thinking of her now) didn’t seem to have overheard that silly squabble of his with Sarah and they’d managed to take their leave fairly easily without too many entreaties from his Mother to stay longer.

Although she did seem a little quiet on the drive back to town. He shook off the thought, she was probably just a bit overwhelmed after meeting all of them in one fell swoop. It was quite a task, he acknowledged. He knew his family could be intimidating.

Arriving back and parking outside her flat, he was overjoyed when she asked him if he’d like to come in for either more tea or a small aperitif.

It seemed that he was still in her ‘good books’.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You poured a pale sherry for each of you and handed a glass to John. He was lounging - entirely at ease - on your large cherry-red sofa, and you sat opposite him on the matching armchair. He looked slightly disappointed at that but took a sip of his sherry, saying “Mmm, that’s a nice Fino.”

You’d spent the whole journey back pondering whether to confess that you’d eavesdropped. Firstly, you felt guilty for doing so. One of your mother’s favourite sayings was ‘eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves’ if she ever caught you and your little brother listening at doors. And secondly, you didn’t want there to be any lies or omissions between you and John.

“Yes, it’s not bad,” you agreed. “Look John, I need to tell you something.” He sat bolt upright, “Oh no - you’re dumping me! Already!” he wailed. You laughed, “No, I’m not! But I do need to discuss something with you.”

He sat back again, still looking anxious, “Tell me!” he demanded. You drew in a deep breath, “I overheard your conversation with Sarah. I’m sorry!” you said quickly, “I really didn’t mean to, I was just coming downstairs… and then you were in the sitting room.” You grinned, “Furber caught me standing outside!” He also grinned, “Yes, he’s got a habit of appearing without warning! I suppose it’s the whole butler thing.” His expression sobered, “So you did hear us squabbling! And also the final scandalous fact about my ill-fated marriage.” He took another sip of sherry. “Yes, the sad fact is, my Father ran off with her. They’re living in sin and penury down in the south of France.”

“I’m sorry, John,” you said sincerely, “that must’ve been hard to bear.” He smiled at you, “It wasn’t the best. And of course Mother went absolutely mad and said it was all my fault. Which it was, of course. By that time, I’d realised that I didn’t love her but yes, it still stung.” You leaned back and looked steadily at him, “I suppose it was for the best. In an awful way. But tell me, what’s with Sarah?” He gave you a puzzled look, “What do you mean, darling?”

“Your relationship with her. Tell me about it.” He sighed, “Mother always wanted me to marry her. She saw it as the joining of two dynasties, nothing romantic about it. I think I told you we had a brother-sister thing between us? We grew up together so that’s just how it was. Then mater started putting pressure on me to get engaged to her and her parents weren’t opposed to it, so it was kind of understood between the two families that that’s what would eventually happen. But then… Larita. As I said.” Another sip of sherry. “When she left, it was obvious that everyone expected me to just pick up with Sarah again from where we left off. But she didn’t seem all that keen - wounded pride, I suppose and I don’t blame her for that - and to be brutally honest, I really wasn’t keen either.”

His dark eyes gazed over at you, “I never felt that spark with her, you know? She’s just like another sister.” You almost felt sorry for Sarah. “So it was just kind of… left on the side and no-one’s mentioned it again.” You nodded, and decided to take the plunge, “You do realise that she’s in love with you? And probably always has been?”

His face was a picture. “Umm.. what?” You nodded again, “Yes, John, believe me. Her indifferent demeanour is all an act. She wants you for herself.” You met his eyes, watching him intensely, “Does that change anything? How you feel about her? Because if it does, then I’ll just take myself off somewhere else.” He shook his head vigorously, “No! It changes nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He put his sherry glass down on the small table next to the sofa and came over to crouch down beside your chair, grasping your arm, “I’m sorry about it if that’s the case, I truly am. But it’s you I want, not Sarah.” He leant in towards you and the two of you gazed into each other’s eyes, then John’s lips softly met yours and you shared a sedate kiss.

Breaking apart, he laughed nervously, “I hope you don’t mind that I kissed you?” Shaking your head and running a finger along his jaw, you were smiling as you replied, “I don’t mind in the slightest, John.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

John was driving perhaps a little too fast along the country roads, on his way back home in the gathering dusk. He was a very happy man indeed, and he was singing at the top of his voice.

There may be trouble ahead

But while there's moonlight

And music and love and romance

Let's face the music and dance

Before the fiddlers have fled

Before they ask us to pay the bill

And while we still have the chance

Let's face the music and dance

He pulled the car to a grinding halt and leapt out of it, bounding up the steps and into the house. Furber, gliding along with a tray holding a decanter of sherry and four glasses, hid a smile and nodded at him, “Good evening, sir. Shall I bring an additional glass for you?” “Uh.. no, thanks Furber, I’m just going to my room. To.. uh.. lie down for a nap before dinner.”

Furber hid an even bigger smile. He knew the signs only too well. The Master was in love again.

John’s foot was on the first step of the staircase when Veronica’s voice cut through his pleasant thoughts. “John! Please join us!” His shoulders dropped… caught like a rat in a trap! Accepting defeat, he turned on his heel and trotted into the sitting room behind his Mother. The other three ladies were ranged around various sofas and armchairs and in the process of accepting glasses of sherry from Furber, who magically produced a fifth glass and now filled it for John. How does he do that? wondered John, does he keep supplies of spare glasses in his pockets? Hmm, maybe he does, I wouldn’t put it past him.

He took the glass and thanked Furber, settling into one of the squashy old armchairs and facing the four women who were all looking at him expectantly. He looked back at them, until eventually his Mother broke the stalemate, “Well, John? Where did you meet her? At the Art Gallery?” Marion sniggered bitchily, “As if! John’s never been inside an art gallery in his life, Mama!” Shooting her a poisonous look, John replied, “As it happens - no, Mother.” Marion snorted in triumph but John ignored her, continuing, “I nearly hit her in the head with a tennis ball.”

“Johhhhnnn!” wailed his mother, “That’s no way to impress a lady!” He sighed, “I do realise that, mater. I promise you I didn’t do it on purpose. But it was certainly very fortuitous.” He knew that he probably had a dreamy, faraway look in his eyes but he didn’t care. He noticed Sarah’s eyes on him, and he felt a sudden pang of guilt. But what can I do? he thought, the heart wants what the heart wants.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Monday was dragging by and felt very tedious. You’d begun work on a small canvas by a fairly famous local artist and as you meticulously and gently rubbed at the grime which covered it, your mind drifted to last Saturday evening.

After that first innocent kiss, John had pulled you up off the armchair and slid his arms right around you, holding you close and kissing you in an increasingly passionate fashion. So much so that you eventually had to gently shove him away, smiling and catching your breath.

Most of the (admittedly few) men you had stepped out with had been appalling kissers, all wet lips and slobbering over you in indecent haste.

John might act like an overgrown schoolboy (or puppy, take your pick) but in the kissing stakes, he was well out in front of the rest of the field. His lips had hovered at your ear and you felt little huffs of his breath against it. “Your lips, your mouth, your eyes… you’re driving me insane,” he whispered, and you’d almost fainted at the sensuality of it.

You suddenly heard your supervisor’s sharp voice, and you looked up quickly at the older woman. She was in fact a very good mentor, her bark being worse than her bite as they say. She smirked, “You’re in a world of your own today, dear! I called your name at least twice before now.” Looking more closely at you, she gave a delighted laugh, “Oh my! There’s a man involved, isn’t there?” You blushed furiously and she crowed, “I was right! I knew it. Now, tell me all about him!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After spending ten minutes telling your mentor all about John, you were slightly disappointed when she had a bit of a mixed reaction to the details you shared.

“My dear, he does sound very dashing,” she intoned, and you knew there was a ‘but’ coming, “but he also sounds a little bit… risqué.” You opened your mouth to jump to his defence, but she held up a hand, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you do need to guard against making any impulsive decisions regarding him. He sounds as if he likes impulsive gestures, judging by the sound of the circumstances surrounding his marriage. And then his father running off with his wife! I mean, my dear, that is positively…” “Scandalous,” you supplied, “yes, I do realise that. But I truly believe he’s learned his lesson.”

She looked sceptical, “So you say, but please do bear in mind that he’s still probably inclined towards the impulsive, despite what he says. I’m sure your parents would never forgive me if I didn’t at least try and sound a warning shot across your bows!” You dipped your head and accepted her thoughts, “I am listening to you, honestly,” you assured her.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

John had taken to telephoning you every evening since the Saturday you’d spent together. “I just want to hear your voice,” he’d say say quietly into the phone. “It’s nice to hear yours, too,” you’d reply. When he phoned you on Tuesday evening, you could hear some excitement in his voice. “I’ve got us two stand tickets for the races on Saturday,” he said, his words tumbling over each other, “Oh say you’ll come! It’s not one of the big gold cup meetings but it’ll be so much fun!” You laughed, caught up in his excitement, “Yes, John, I’ll come.”

“Wonderful! Mater keeps telling me not to call you too much or pester you at work but I can’t help it!” “It’s fine, I don’t mind,” you said truthfully, thinking about how you now sat in your flat of an evening waiting for him to call. Not that you’d admit that to him, of course. Your feelings for John were definitely a bit like a runaway train at the moment, and you were trying to keep the brakes on but you were struggling to do so.

About half an hour after you’d hung up, your doorbell rang. Opening the door, you were less than charmed to see your neighbour Euphemia standing on your doorstep clutching a teacup. “Oh hullo,” she greeted you, “I wonder if I can borrow some sugar?” Mentally rolling your eyes, you said, “Of course, step in for a moment.” You took the cup from her and she trailed along your hall after you, following you to the kitchen. You knew exactly why she was here and as you poured out some sugar for her, she said, trying to sound casual, “So you have a new young man, then?”

Your back was to her so you smirked to yourself. “Yes, Euphemia, I do,” you said lightly. “Mmm,” she grunted, “What’s his name, then?” “John.” “John what?” Now she was beginning to annoy rather than amuse you, “John No-one-You’ll-Ever-Have-Heard-Of,” you said sarcastically, handing her the cup of sugar. “There you go, Euphemia! Now, so sorry, I’m right in the middle of something.” In other words, sling your hook. She had a very dissatisfied look on her face as she hadn’t been able to get all the information she wanted out of you. Just then, there was another knock at the door so you headed to it, Euphemia on your heels again. God, that woman!

Upon opening the door this time, you were delighted to see a much more welcome face. John was standing there, a very large bouquet of peonies in his hand. He gave you a big smile then immediately leaned in for a kiss, but pulled back suddenly mid-kiss when his eyes met Euphemia’s over your shoulder. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise you had company.” You looked over your shoulder, saying, “Euphemia was just leaving, weren’t you Euphemia?” you said with a hint of menace in your voice. “Um… yes,” she nodded, “nicer to meet you, Mr… ?” You grabbed John’s arm and squeezed hard, “Bye, Euphemia!” She sulkily brushed past you and John and made her way down your steps.

You dragged John inside and quickly closed the door. “That woman!” you hissed, “She’s just been in here to ‘borrow a cup of sugar’ …in other words, trying to sniff out information about you!” John laughed, “Ah, now I understand! Here, darling… these are for you.” He handed you the bouquet, you exclaiming how pretty they were and beginning to look for a vase. “I remembered you said that peonies were your favourites,” he announced proudly. You were impressed! You two had passed a florists on the evening of your first date and you’d remarked how much you loved the big blowsy pink flowers.

“Anyhow, she’s not very pleased,” you said conversationally as you busied yourself arranging the flowers, “she didn’t get any information out of me at all apart from your first name.” You looked up at him, holding one of the blooms in your hand, “And as much as I’m pleased to see you and these beautiful flowers… what on earth are you doing here, John?”

You saw his face pink up, “I hope you won’t be annoyed but I couldn’t wait until Saturday to see you.” Your stomach filled with butterflies and you put down the peony, going over to where he stood and hugging him, before kissing his cheek. “You’re such a sweet boy,” you smiled at him. You felt his his shoulders relax. “Marion told me you’d get really fed up with me.”

You ghosted a kiss over his lips, “Oh, poor Marion… she’s not a happy bunny, is she?” John smiled a little sadly, “Disappointed in love. Her intended had no intention of marrying her and took off travelling.” “Oh, what a shame,” you sympathised. “It’s given her a slightly skewed view of life,” John shrugged, “she unfortunately tends to revel in other people’s embarrassing situations.”

He leant back from you, your arms still round him, “You’re not fed up with me, are you?” You smiled, “Not yet.” He landed a small kiss on your lips, “I’m pleased to hear that.” “Have you eaten?” “No… I had the sudden impulse to come haring over here to see you.” You stroked his cheek, “Then have a seat,” you waved towards your kitchen table, “and I’ll make you something.”

Your mentor’s words echoed in your head as you went to the pantry and took out some food items for John. “…he’s still probably inclined towards the impulsive…”

You felt a little soupçon of worry. It seems like she had possibly hit the nail right on the head.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@paracosmenthusiast

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#ben barnes #john whittaker #john whittaker x reader #john whittaker fanfiction #john whittaker imagine #john whittaker fanfic #easy virtue

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i-drink-and-i-write-fics · 2 years

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Personal Pairing Request: Game of Thrones (male). I’m a woman (she/her), Bi-graysexual, and Biromantic, I’m 5’1” with a peaches and cream complexion, dark green eyes (tho my right eye has a blue film over it due to blindness), long dark brown hair, and an almost hourglass figure. I prefer older men. I’m a Hufflepuff! I’m compassionate, stubborn, get frustrated easily, silly, happy, cute, passionate, have OCD, Dyscalculia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I’m Autistic. I studied general studies in school (I switched majors a few times). I’m an Ashkenazi Jew (who had an interfaith upbringing of both Catholicism and Judaism). I love animals a lot. I love reading (especially history, romance, myths/lore, and fiction), botany, space, cats, my faith, playing games, dancing, singing, traveling, and naps. When I get frustrated/upset or despondent, I tend to belittle myself and think that whatever is wrong is my fault even when it is not.

Thanks for the ask, @groovy-lady !

No lie, some of the older men in this world are douches. But there are a few gems and this is one of them.

I mean, c’mon! Look at that smile! (helps that Sean Bean is a good looking guy).

Ned Stark is an honorable man who believes in being educated in any sitatution that comes across. Yeah, that does bite him in the ass a couple of times but that’s where you come in. To remind him he doesn’t have to sacrifice his honor to save his own damn life. He’s the Griffyndor to your Hufflepuff and it will make for an interesting dynamic around the North.

Because he believes in education, he has one of the best maesters out there. Who will work with your autism so you can learn in a way that’s best for you (I feel this one personally in my bones as a fellow ‘tism member). Just imagine all the old lore you will learn about the realm from years past.

And, of course, being of the North there are plenty of animals to go around. Sure, the barn cats may care more for chasing rats during the day, but when the nights are cold they are snuggled up in your warm bed.

And who wouldn’t want their own direwolf?

Ned would have the best - and warmest - dresses made for you and the Stark black and grey would look amaing against your pale complextion, making your eyes practially emeralds.

Now, the Starks are the epidomy of stubborn, but if there’s one thing about Ned, he would want his lady happy. So at the end of the day, no matter the squabble, he would work with you for a solution.

#character pairing #ned stark #game of thrones #got

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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years

Text

INDOMINATABLE LIFESTYLE

July 16, 1972

HOLLYWOOD - Indomitable funny girl Lucille Ball, with a messy scoop hair the color of an orange popsicle, flashes on the scene in a sad predicament.

She's got a lame leg.

Lucy hobbled from her sleek silver Rolls Royce and into the yellow cubbyhole dressing room which is a sunny retreat near the Lucy set which Is crawling with rehearsal activity.

On the surface, everything's ha-ha-ha. But the fact is that surgeons have inserted pins into the shattered leg bone suffered last year in a Snowmass Peak, Colo., skiing accident. The leg brace is a semi-intolerable ball and chain. But, as always, crippling situations must be mastered. Lucy's inextinguishable spirit pulsates despite the physical handicap.

Lucy Is showing a smiling color photograph of herself in a flowing white hooded cape coat rimmed in fluffy fox. The picture, radiating exterior happiness, doesn't reflect the inner pain. Lucy's leg, in a hip cast, is disguised under a blanket.

You know the familiar Lucy grin? She's grinning it and saying hell no, baby, she's not ever going to ski again. She couldn't stomach another goddam ordeal like that. Besides, on the immediate horizon is an operation to remove the pins.

Lucy, being Lucy, bears the cross with humor: "Honey," she says, "skiing is just getting into those nice winter clothes and being a show off." The burdensome subject of broken bones is dismissed with frivolity.

Brainy Lucy, now 60 and president of a $30 million corporation, is an American institution.

But, like all super-successful females, she vibrates complex contradictions. The fashion plate - who initiated her career as a Hattie Carnegie hat model - is a winsome dumb broad on the tube. In reality she's tough executive who barks orders left and right. Staffers instantly do like the lady says. God has spoken. Lucy runs a tight ship, but she is more respected than feared.

Yet Lucy is softie with a heart of spun sugar. Trappings, which she has in predictable abundance, aren't a psychic crutch.

"Success is knowing that if everything were wiped away tomorrow, it wouldn't really matter. I wouldn't die if I lost my things," she says. Then the awesome simplicity: "Dear, I still go home and let the cat out"

Lucy has always run her home life with a liberal hand.

Desi Arnaz, Jr. is currently Involved in well-publicized liaison with Liza Minnelli. There was a previous Desi scandal regarding Patty Duke. People gossip a lot here because they live in a city where the major industry is make-believe and fact and fiction become blurred.

Lucy isn't deaf to the talk about her son's romances:

"What the hell, they're having a fine spree. I just hope it lasts for Desi and Liza. They don't have time to get married. Their scene is the world and they're swinging in there. I'm the one who talked marriage to them. One night I said: Look, kids, don't get married too soon. They were upset. Desi countered with the observation that you don't have to settle down when you get married. So I go - well, that's true son! The subject of marriage just never came up again. They're a nice couple. They present themselves well without becoming asses. I've told the kids to do as they wish."

Lucy, who was a good friend to Judy Garland, makes no bones about her affection for Liza. And once Lucy loves, the feeling lasts. After 20 years of marriage to Desi Arnaz, there was the divorce. Still Lucy looks people straight in the eyes and says the present Mrs. Desi Arnaz is a "wonderful woman." And she can see it in her heart to rent ex-husband Desi studio space on her lot so that he can work in the shadow of a success they initiated together.

When Liza Minnelli was a child, Lucy kept a scrapbook of Liza's activities at play, in ballet school, attending birthday parties. There, in a battered old photo album, are the precious pictures. Liza didn't know about the book until recently. Desi brought Liza home and Lucy accidentally-on-purpose left the book on a coffee table. "Oh! Wow!" exclaimed Liza through a flow of uncontrollable tears.

Lucy; "And I said to Liza, honey-baby, I told you I've known you for a long time. Didn't you believe me?" Lucille Ball speaks in an affectionate aside about Liza and the loyalty is simultaneously visible and audible:

"That kid is liable to explode any minute. I just hope I'm around to pick up the pieces. No one knows why she works so hard. She's made it her objective to clear her mother financially. Those b--- lawyers took her --- really took her. But she's paying back every damn cent herself."

Life is, of course, an inexplicable mixture of tears and laughter. Buoyant Lucy can see the funnies in everything. Love, she says, is looking beyond someone's minor faults and caring passionately despite the irritations. Lucy's 80-year-old mom, Dede (Desiree Ball) lives near Lucy's sprawling colonial house in Beverly Hills. Dede has a longstanding idiosyncrasy which used to drive Lucy wild but is now an amusement.

In that familiar screechy scratchy soprano voice oozing feigned stupidity, Lucy sing-songs the dialogue;

"I say to Dede: Hey Dede, I've got a pain in my elbow. Dede always says: 'stupid, it's because you're not eating right!" Honest to God, if you've got a pain in your big toe, it's not because someone stepped on it it's the food. Drives you nuts! Dede really has a thing about food. The other day I went home and cooked a batch of chicken. 'Chicken!!" says Dede, 'you know it's gonna make me sick.' Of course Dede eats more chicken than anybody. Next day I say: Dede you been up all night throwin', huh? Naw," says Dede, the chicken wasn't half bad.'"

The ridiculous story illustrates two things Dede taught Lucy early in life. One: That without good health you've got nothing. Two; That without a non-pliant, thoroughly independent attitude, you've got less than nothing because show business kills the weak.

Lucy is in constant awe of Dede. When Lucy built the five-story ski chalet 9,800 feet on the side of a Colorado mountain she was certain Dede couldn't take either the long trip or the altitude. Besides, once you get to Lucy's place, there are a million icy steps to climb before you make the front door. "Even the dogs stop to get their breath," says Lucy. "But when I start huffing, Dede looks over her shoulder and sorta snaps: Aw, Lucy, you're a sissy!' That woman is my challenge."

Does Lucy ever get down? Do the burdens of crushing disappointments halt her enthusiasm even temporarily? "Jesus," she says, "I cry. I cry a lot. Then anger sets in. When I'm angry, I become a fighter. And I always fight to win."

When Lucy talks to you, she taps your knee in a natural gesture of intimacy. Her gaze is through black fringed x-ray eyes that sear through trivia. She smokes her cigarette twirled ceremoniously between her thumb and forefinger. Lucy always spews gut honesty:

"Love is a great peace of mind. There's no panic in the relationship. It's never having to prove yourself. Love is not playing games. Baby, some women have to put up with mysterious absenteeism. That's always a sign of hanky panky-ism. Christ, I never have to worry where Gary is."

Gary is Gary Morton, Lucy's husband and executive producer. Suddenly he bursts into the dressing room and asks for the afternoon off. Lucy's going to work the full day. Her answer is affirmative, but she doesn't use the word "yes"; "Just don't forget to tell the cook to get out the steaks and have a big salad ready."

The show is all in the family. Lucy's sister, Cleo Smith, is another producer. Lucy is having the talk-about twosome of Desi Jr. and Liza written into a script. Little Lucy, who has been Mrs. Phil Vandervort for a year, is a regular. She, too, bursts into the dressing room to use the john. The jeans are already embarrassingly unzipped. As she whizzes by she comments only to her famous mama: "Jeez, I though you were alone!"

But an emergency is an emergency. Lucy, quick to seize the humor, quips: "Our togetherness is only occasionally splintered."

In retrospect, Lucy is pleased with her real-life mother role. "I've been one hell of a mom," she says. "I always knew where they were every minute." Lucille Ball is a profound woman who often uses great simplicities to get her points across.

Once, when the kids were small, a nurse observed to Lucy that Little Lucy was calling Desi Jr., "fatso," and jabbing him in the stomach-when no one was looking. Desi didn't hit back because mama had said never to hit defenseless little girls. Lucy relives the old conversation with her daughter, first announcing each "part" and changing voices to portray the back-and-forth swing of conversation:

Big Lucy: "Got a problem, Little Lucy?"

Little Lucy: "Me? No."

Big Lucy: "Let's talk. Whose fault is it? No, actually it doesn't matter whose fault it is. Next time one of you is hurt, I'm going to hit the one who is hurt."

Little Lucy: "What does that mean, ma?"

Big Lucy: "You'll see."

Soon there was another battle. As usual, Little Lucy elbowed Desi in the stomach and he howled, Lucy illogically whacked Desi hard on the rear and his screams got louder. Little Lucy immediately became hysterical: "Mom, don't hit him! For God's sake, why are you hitting HIM?"

Lucy delivered the punch line which is the credo of their life: "I hit Desi because you let things go too far. Never let things go too far. Someone innocent always suffers. Do you understand?"

That was the end of sibling squabbling. Forever.

Once, before her chorus girl days, New York-born Lucy worked as a fashion mannequin for various Seventh Ave. houses. She's still got a clotheshorse figure but she won't splurge on couture: "I'm just one of those normal working women who doesn't go in for hifalutin’ fashion."

Lucy haunts three fabric shops in Beverly Hills and has local movie set seamstresses make all her clothes. "I'm not the type who dresses and goes out," says Lucy who long ago graduated from the silly-but-necessary movie star game of being seen in the right places.

"Once when I was in Paris, I bought a designer dress grey flannel, I think and wore it out from the salon to my car. When I sat down the damn thing was so strictly constructed that the neckline popped up to my nose. I was on my way to Switzerland and I mumbled to my driver, God, did that designer expect me to stand up on the plane?" Lucy can afford emergencies. When she got to Orly, she bought a dress from an airport boutique and changed in the ladies room.

And, so, the sweet saga of Lucy continues, there are no plans to quit. The word - retirement - isn't in her vocabulary. "I can't imagine doing nothing," she says. "If you don't keep moving, you're buried."

The beauty is still there. The complexion is like alabaster. Lucy confesses that she washes her face with Ivory soap, colors her own hair and occasionally gives herself offbeat facials."

"Honey, the idiot who said to put honey on your face never explained that it has to be mixed with cream," she says. The face melts into that wonderful famous grin. "I put honey on straight from the goddamn jar and it closed my pores for a month."

That's lovable Lucy.

[Ed. Note: The original photographs were degraded by copying so similar shots were substituted as close to the originals as possible.]

# # #

#Lucille Ball #Desi Arnaz #Gary Morton #Wildcat #Dede Ball #Lucie Arnaz #Desi Arnaz Jr.#Liza Minnelli

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ghoulsters · 4 years

Text

Finally listened to this week's episodes!

I have a lot of thoughts and fears about our apocalypse boys.

(more below the cut)

185:

-Now, I know there was quite a bit of controversy surrounding this episode and im not really going to offer my two cents since am neither 1. a PoC or 2. a person who knows enough about the justice system and corrupt policing, or at least not enough to add any value to the conversation.

-all I will say is that Jonny is a fantastic writer, as always. I know it must've been hard to have to write about a topic that hits so close to home for him, especially when he had to be public about this after the fact.

-children continue to be small humans full of spite. I will be putting the one who threw the rock at Tina on my "fictional small children I do not like" list. the opposite of her would probably be greg from over the garden wall. and that's a rock fact.

-I would love to sympathize with jon with the whole "im a monster and other monsters recognize me as their own you'll have to get used to it martin" point, but it's just a reminder for me that jon is slowly becoming less human. he's practically accepted his role as the archivist and as an entity higher than the others. I know this probably won't mean much at this point, but it still scares me to see jon so comfortable and uncaring about the loss of his humanity.

-jon "big arse" sims

-I remember before this episode and during one of the Q&As Johnny talked about how avatars get "chosen" per se. He was trying to be vague about it but from we gathered is that an avatar doesn't have to kill to join a fear, but they can join a fear by a variety of methods. This episode solidifies that with this part:

"I just mean that nobody here deserves the position they’ve found themselves in, not really. I suppose a few may have asked for it, sought it out even, but far more didn’t. They just made the wrong choices for the right reasons. Or even the right choices. But ones that still led them here in the end."

Which, obviously we already could assume this based on people like Agnes, who were born into the role, or Oliver Banks, who gained the powers of his role, eventually embracing it. I do think if they don't turn the world back Martin will have to accept his own role in other people's suffering.

-fuck the inspector

-martin really said "the second someone insults my bf it's on sight" then abandoned the inspector to rot in prison. good for him.

-so jon HAS watched a movie before

-oh boy here we go into Martin’s domain

186

-everytime I get reminded of 170 I get super emotional, it sucker punches me in the feels. like, I related to it massively but it’s still one of the few episodes that really had that big of an impact on me.

-get this boy an umbrella !!

-martin 2: im here to deliver you an existential crisis

-I am glad that they touched on how jon and martin's relationship is so complicated yet so simple. these guys have to save the world but also communicate after squabbles and continue to love each other despite everything around them. it's good that martin has jon there for him but it's also good to have your own space. and that's just a good lesson about loving another person.

-felt on the friends being your therapist thing. im not one to talk to my loved ones about emotional issues because they'll just try to temporarily make me feel better instead of tackling the root of the issue. if everyone lives after the last episode of TMA they'll need a BOATLOAD of therapy.

-mmm, tea. don't like oolong though. more of a green tea person myself. also I find it hilarious that Also Martin carries a thermos of tea everywhere with him.

-”we love ‘that guy!’” same martin, same.

-the talk about who might have to possibly die to save the world has me EMOTIONAL. I had to pause multiple times to collect myself. We all knew it would have to be talked about at some point but I wasn't ready for it to be this straight forward. just... please johnny...spare both of my boys. I know deep down this is a tragedy but my mind is still telling me this is a fluffy office rom-com.

-confirmation that martin dreams about kissing jon and beating the shit out of elias. king shit.

-martin was so willing to die if he needed which makes sense for how he's doing right now but makes me sad as fuck. someone give this man a HUG!!

-THE TIM PART NOOO

-That statement was heartbreaking and very relatable. We all put up some walls, big or small, to keep those closest to us from seeing our true selves. It's especially easy during this year to get lonely, to stop communicating with people if we feel we don't have the energy to. It's a terrifying thought that we could be forgotten after we die, that no one will ever think about us again. We just cease to exist.

"And… And if it comes down to it…

I’ll get John to destroy me like the others."

PAIN, PURE PAIN.

"Yeah. But… this time, it doesn’t feel like despair. It feels like resolve."

"Well, hopefully it won’t come to that."

FORESHADOWING?? AND PAIN.

anyway thanks for reading my silly little thoughts if you did

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #tma spoilers #185 spoilers #186 spoilers #the magnus archives spoilers #long post #dinoz.txt

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wisemins · 4 years

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Well, in short, I'm having issues with boundaries of fiction and mindspace and physical world, and it's the first time it's distressed me so much- basically I got very sad about my f/o not being an autonomous physical person, and it never bothered me before...I don't know how to remedy this, I'm very attached to him and a few days ago it started to feel like he "wasn't here" (in my mindspace) and since I'm very attached to him I really don't want to lose him or ruin him. Do you have any advice?

That’s completely understandable. I’ve struggled with it throughout the years, especially during hard times that make you want to escape or have your love be physically there with you. Being attached to something you cannot physically touch or see in your own world is disheartening, especially with the hammering thoughts of ‘they’re not real’, ‘it’s all just fiction, it can’t be real therefore it’s not valid’ or even the severely untrue ‘even if they were real, they wouldn’t love me’. There are a few things we as self-shippers can do to combat such negative feelings to start feeling better about ourselves and our relationships. Fear of losing your loved one or somehow ruining their image due to lack of feeling connected is completely valid, and one solution is to strengthen the connection! By feeling disconnected it can funnel into more negative emotions that lead to a plethora of other things, so connecting yourself, reinforcing your relationship is a very good way of soothing the worries of losing them, or feeling as if they aren’t quite there in your mind-space. This can include indulging in their source material, writing interactions with them, taking time to tune everything out just to interact with them, talk with them about this specific fear, or maybe even partake in hobbies including them. Journalling, drawing, painting, or watching movies and shows with the goal to do it with your f/o is something that I think a lot of us like doing, and that helps us solidify our connections and feelings. It’s okay to feel this way, that someone you care about so much wasn’t quite...there. As if maybe everything you love about them isn’t real, and never will be. But just know that myself and many others struggle with this, and it’s hard to overcome such obstacles due to how disheartening it is, how scary it is to lose someone you love regardless if you can touch them in your world. Our f/os are our f/os. They exist to us and everyone aware and supportive of self-shipping, which is a lot of people. I’m rooting for you and your f/o! Mind-space is a very complex thing, so are things such as thoughts and emotions, though it exists for a reason. It has multiple purposes and who’s to say we cannot have relationships beyond the world of form. It’s about our undying love for a spirit we believe in, and connect with on a deep interpersonal level. It’s okay to want your loves to be physically there for you, to hold you or verbally right to your face tell you everything’s gonna be okay, and it’s painful to not receive that. Though we as self-shippers understand that about each other and instead can assist and reassure in other forms of expression beyond the physical. Discuss it with him, let him know how you feel, and rest assured above all else (this goes for all who are reading, you silly geese) your f/os love you! Undying pure unadulterated adoration, something that strikes them so deep it cannot be simply put into verbal squabbles such as words. And know that if you ever need a friend, I’m here. <3 I hope this helps anyone who comes across this, stay safe y’all.

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tormundjonthings · 5 years

Text

GOT Politics Thoughts! (I know, I’m not original)

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the last couple seasons again after reading the finale script last week, specifically about how Game of Thrones handled politics in it’s last few seasons. A lot has been written about how the characters or relationships or fantasy elements were bungled, but I’m interested in how they muddled the political end too. And not just the in universe politics, like conflicts between houses or the challenges of moving/feeding armies. Although...that also pretty much vanishes, outside of that stray line of Sansa’s from s8 about feeding Dany’s armies (which is mainly there so Dany can get in a sick line about how cool dragons are.)

No, I’m more interested in how the larger political questions / parallels to politics in the real world vanish or become so confused that any message is lost entirely.

Lets venture back a few seasons, say to like season 5, and look at some of the big political topics being addressed. (This got SUPER long, so more under the cut)

Political Question One: What are borders?

The storyline at the Wall was always one of the most interesting parts of the show to me, mostly because of the nature of the conflict between the Nights Watch and the Free Folk. The the Wall was always a foil to the pettier political games happening elsewhere in the series. That whole Mormont quote “when the dead rise, do you think it matters who sits on the Iron Throne?” Like they’ve got a big, giant existential disaster to deal with, makes all the squabbling between houses look pretty damn silly!

Yet they also participate in some of this political squabbling, which is very interesting to me! They spend several SEVERAL seasons dealing primarily not with the existential threat at hand, but trying to fight off people who largely just want to escape to safety.

The reason Jon Snow is one of my favorite characters in the series is that he’s one of the very few people who looks at an underlying bit of “common political wisdom” in Westeros, something that’s been unchanged for thousands of years regardless of who sits on the Iron Throne, and says, “Hey, this is both very wrong and very dumb.”

He meets the Wildlings, notes that they follow the same religion as the North, speak the same language, have a lot of the same customs, and most importantly notes that they’re just people trying to live their lives in safety.

Some of them raid and kill, yes. But lets be honest...plenty plenty plenty of people born and bred in the Seven Kingdoms do that too.

The division between people of the Seven Kingdoms is entirely arbitrary. Other people in the series have noted this (Benjen, Tyrion) but Jon actually tries to do something about it. He says they’re all the same, that the Free Folk are part of the realms of men, and manages to get many of them south of the Wall.

This is incredibly controversial; he’s broken a huge political taboo here. The northern Lords hate “Wildling invaders.” Many members of the Nights Watch don’t care much about the White Walkers and see the Free Folk as their primary enemy. This is so controversial that Jon is murdered for it.

Now, if you live in almost any part of the world right now, you’ll note that this has many, many parallels to real life events. Especially if you see White Walkers as Climate Change. People trying to escape to safety from disasters and the complete immorality of holding up largely arbitrary borders in the face of existential threats to humanity is already an enormous political issue, and likely to be more so in the years to come. This is a good thing, maybe an essential thing, to explore and talk about through fiction right now.

So how is it handled after Jon is resurrected? Well...it kind of isn’t really. Some of the northern Lords are pissed about it when Jon asks for support during the Battle of the Bastards, but Robb’s old mess-ups are generally more the issue there. Apparently all the Nights Watch members who were uncool with it get hung for treason and...no one else in the manned castles says anything. There are some pissed off northern Lords again who mention Wildling invaders once they’re back in Winterfell but its pretty much skated over and they still all crown Jon king like immediately. The focus on borders and arbitrary divisions, how harmful and damaging they can be, which was a big part of the Wall plotline for several seasons, is pretty much just dropped.

Political Question Two: What is a Revolutionary?

So this is pretty much the whole question surrounding Dany’s plotline. I do think, especially in her earlier seasons, that Dany genuinely felt sympathy for enslaved people in Slavers Bay and wanted to free them. Like, if Jon is one person who looks at the underlying nature of this world and sees injustice, the other person who does so is Dany (at least initially.) I do truly think she saw parallels to her own terrifying situation when Viserys sold her to Drogo, and she wanted to help.

The problem is, despite her dragons and her military power, she is absolutely the wrong type of person to lead a revolution.

This is actually a quote from my sister, we were talking and she said “Dany is the kind of person who believes in a better world, but can’t see that she’s not the one who can bring that world into being.”

Dany was raised by an insanely scary brother who constantly went off about his rightful claim to the throne and their noble family history. The only adults in her life were the kind of Targaryen loyalists who wanted to see the precious heirs safe, or else the kind of people who thought they could get something out of Viserys and repeated his own bullshit back to him.

This has all clearly sunk into Dany; despite the fact that she started the incredibly huge political project of ending slavery, something that will require years YEARS of work, she still constantly wants to go off to Westeros and rule because she believes it’s her right. She’s also got a huge self myth about herself as a queen, and what that means, versus an interest in being a leader.

I’m not a politician, I’m a queen.

She likes to command, demand, pull the whole fire and blood thing. This all comes from her upbringing, from her understanding of who the Targaryens were and what they conquered/deserved.

Her status as someone from an old Westerosi house also means that she has a tendency to trust the rich and well named, especially rich people from Westeros, waaaaay more than she should. Trusting Tyrion, for example, is a huge huge error. Especially, again, given that she’s attempting the truly revolutionary project of ending fucking slavery. Tyrion is part of an old rich house, part of an old rich system. He is from a culture that does not have slavery, but he is still from a culture with a HIGHLY stratified class system. Fundamentally, he’s got more in common with the slavers than the slaves. Which is why he listens to the slavers, why he comes up with the oh so reasonable compromise of phasing slavery out over several years, and why he gives the slavers HUMAN BEINGS as presents to seal the deal.

One of the most interesting scenes in the entire series for me is the bit directly after Tyrion makes this deal, when we see Missandei and Grey Worm’s reaction to it. They are horrified.

Because the ones with a real read on this situation, the ones Dany should let have more input, are absolutely Missandei and Grey Worm. They are the two people the former slaves look to most when they have questions. They are seen as leaders by Dany’s base in the city, the formerly enslaved peoples. They are the ones who have suffered under the hands of this system, who know that it is not wise to make “reasonable compromises” with the kind of people willing to own human beings. The kind of person willing to buy and sell people will always try to take advantage, there is nothing to which they won’t sink. You don’t use them, they use you.

Yet Missandei and Grey Worm’s power is largely often ceremonial. Dany makes a lot of her real big choices listening to people like Jorah, like Tyrion. People from old Westerosi houses. Because she’s been raised to value that kind of power.

Dany’s whole plotline; her freeing slaves quickly without a plan, then letting the slavers into her ear, letting them take back some control, and ultimately leaving the situation in a whole mess to gain more personal power, is a great example of why top-down revolutions, revolutions where a wealthy savior wants to free/help the less fortunate, do not generally work out.

For a revolution to stick, for it’s ideas to stick, it needs to be led by those from below, people who are fully invested, people who understand the monstrosities of the system. People like Missandei and Grey Worm.

That whole scene where Dany talks to Tyrion about breaking the wheel is also super interesting to me. Because...they are both part of the wheel. And as long as Dany’s goal is still to rule, and Tyrion’s goal is to help her, they aren’t going to break that thing. That wheel won’t break until monastic power, until rule by a few families, ends, and that’s not really Dany’s goal. Because she wants to rule. And her family is part of the wheel.

Again...all of these poltical questions are important. We live under a system where the few, the very rich, rule us. This power is often inherited (because money is often inherited.) Some of them say they want to help...but ultimately nothing really changes.

And there’s a pretty recent example in world history of slavery ending, but politicians failing to root the perpetrators of that system out of power. Letting those people stay in power, letting them use influence and take advantage, led to slavery essentially returning in a different form (hello 13th amendment of the US Constitution!) So it’s an important thing to explore through fiction.

I kind of thought all this was going to come to a head, especially with Missandei and Grey Worm. Dany clearly trusts them with some power, but she lets Westerosi advisors like Tyrion make more and more of her decisions. The whole plotline with Missendei and Grey Worm is them moving past their trauma and becoming more self-actualized people. I thought they’d start to challenge Dany. I thought maybe they’d take issue with Dany’s desire for power at any cost, especially use of the Dothraki, who famously take and sell slaves. I thought they’d take issue with Dany wanting to leave for Westeros at all, with leaving the slaves of Mereen in such a desperate, hopeless situation. I thought maybe the show would highlight how becoming more folded into the powers that be in Westeros and ignoring the downtrodden people she met in Essos led to her downfall. It certainly seemed to be heading that way.

But then...Missandei and Grey Worm were relegated fully to the background. They don’t differ with Dany on anything at all in the last half of the series. Issues were raised with how Dany was approaching power, but most of these were centered around her individually being a bad person, having the “Targaryen madness,” not with her being part of a system that sees rule by a few powerful families as just and right. It’s just all a problem of one person being insane and power hungry! Not a problem of systems!

And then a member of another house on the wheel takes control at the end, but he’s from the Good House...so it’s framed as a win!

Political Question Three: What happens when the rich ignore the poor / What happens when religious movements redirect class consciousness?

This is one I really really wanted the series to get more into. The smallfolk are often talked about and seen in the background as the true victims in the wars that tear through Westeros. They suffer and starve and die because of things they had absolutely no say in, so a few people they’ll never meet can have a little power. And this tension between the poor and the rich was building throughout the series; the smallfolk were getting pissed the fuck off. That riot in King’s Landing where the poor literally tear the septon to pieces still gives me chills.

And we finally, finally started to see this start to come to a head with the Sparrows. I think it’s really interesting that they chose to use a religious movement. Religious grifters often do swoop in during moments of desperation and steal the energy / direct people away from class consciousness to build their own power. And the poor are so desperate for something anything different that it becomes easy for these grifters to thrive.

And the High Sparrow is this kind of religious grifter to his bones. It’s very interesting to me that when we finally learn his backstory, he wasn’t truly poor. He was a merchant, and one doing pretty okay. If Westeros had an emerging middle class, he was part of it. He wasn’t the lowest of the low in Flea Bottom; Gendry for example was likely worse off. But the Sparrow presents himself as of the poor, part of the poor, truly one of the people, and because of this he is able to build a shitton of power very quickly from smallfolk who are fed up with all the bullshit and want to see something anything done about it.

And I was very interested in this! Again, this is a good political problem to discuss; religious movements and charismatic grifters build power all the time by telling people that really they’re unhappy because of “these sinners or outsiders” and not because of the larger systemic issues. A LOT OF THAT has been happening lately.

Like this was the moment that the political scheming of people like Cersei and her absolute lack of interest in helping the people she’d supposedly ruling should have come home to roost. I was interested to see what would happen; how that tension would be resolved, IF that tension could be resolved.

And then...Cersei just blows up the Sept of Baelor and apparently every single member of the reactionary religious movement was inside of it because it’s never really brought up again.

There are no riots, no anger from the smallfolk at her destroying both the major religious figures AND the major religious site for a large chunk of Westeros. People still gladly flock to Cersei when Dany shows up with dragons, even though they KNOW Cersei is very willing to blow people up. It’s just..all dropped. Cersei spends the next several seasons drinking wine and wearing spiky dresses.

Granted, there were a few big political issues that D&D still tried to discuss through the end but uhh...I don’t think they did very well. For example -

They Tried! #1 - White Walkers = Climate Change and the Uselessness of the System as Usual in the Face of Existential Threats

So I do think D&D were kind of going for this a little bit, and it was certainly discussed a lot in all the blogs and meta posts leading up to season 8. And there was a lot of talk, especially in season 7, about how silly the petty political differences between Cersei and Dany were in the face of such a threat.

But the fact that the White Walkers were destroyed relatively easily all things considered, without fundamentally changing the existing power dynamic, without being forced to resolve the differences between Dany and Cersei...kind of ruins this whole parallel. Jon’s been saying throughout the whole series that they needed to fully unite to defeat the threat but uhh...they didn’t unite with Cersei and they still won so I guess it was all good!

Don’t worry guys, we don’t need to fundamentally approach politics differently to deal with climate change, lets just go to Antartica and stab the carbon emissions monster in the heart!

And the fact that ultimately the main battle of the series, the finale of the series, was focused on the various ruling houses opposing each other...kind of ends up saying that the most important thing really is the petty politics after all.

Well that’s a bad message!

They Tried! #2 - Dany the Imperialist

Now of all the political messages D&D were trying to get across in the series, I am absolutely 100% certain this one was intentional. They were trying to draw parallels between Dany and modern imperial regimes, specifically the US.

It’s all over that last script, explicitly. The dragons have frequently been portrayed as weapons of mass destruction, nuclear weapons, and in the script here there is an explicit connection between the destruction of King’s Landing and Hiroshima, an atrocity committed by the US. In the finale script, they also use the phrase “they burned the village in order to save it” which is a famous quote from a US general regarding the destruction of a Vietnamese village by American troops during the Vietnam War.

And Tyrion’s whole speech about Dany destroying evil men looking great from afar but horrible when you’re on the ground / closer to the reality of it has clear US parallels. The US often uses humanitarian justifications for war (taking out dictators, spreading democracy, etc) and does not much care about the atrocities the actual human beings who live in those countries face when their countries are torn apart by war (Afghanistan and Iraq are prime examples of this.)

They are very very clearly trying to make this parallel. To make a political point about how imperialism is bad. But Jesus Christ, it’s so muddled.

For one, it’s uhhh not great that the perpetrators of these atrocities are largely non-white and the victims are members of a culture that closely parallels western Europe. Given that the way the last several hundred years have played out...it’s usually been the other way around. This shows a lack of care in D&D’s part in truly wrestling with this topic, a lack of interest in really dealing with real world politics and history. Just no interest exploring how imperialism and white supremacy, how the idea that “we come from a ‘superior culture’ so clearly we know what’s best and can go around the world doing as we please” are INCREDIBLY linked.

For two...it’s mostly just Dany that’s the problem. Jon doesn’t want to destroy King’s Landing, Varys doesn’t, Tyrion doesn’t. Grey Worm does, but he’s barely a character at this point in the story. They all give her like, a million outs. Especially the bells. And those bells ring, the battle is won, but Dany decides to go on her murder rampage anyway.

The problem isn’t a system, it’s one person who has “the madness!” It’s one person being a psychotic dictator, and all the problems are solved when that person gets stabbed.

Which is absolutely not how it works in real life. We didn’t just go to war in Afghanistan in Iraq because George Bush was a bad person. If we had, we would have been out when Obama got into office. The US went to war in those countries because of a giant system of war and profit, a system that benefits many many people, that has been built over the past several generations. The US went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq, and stayed there, because weapons contractors wanted to be there so they could make money. Because oil companies and heavy mineral companies wanted the resources those countries had. Because the military itself has a huge amount influence over the government, and to justify their massive budget and continued influence they need to have things to do. The Afghanistan War continues loooong after the death of Osama Bin Laden because of a whole web of CEOs and lobbyists and generals and politicians, all of whom benefit from it. The problem is not one person. It’s a fundamental flaw in how the system is set up. How it rewards those who can buy influence.

And it’s so so clear to me that D&D do not understand this. Like...even a little. They don’t think in terms of systems, just good people and bad people. That’s why the end of the series, which is still a fucking monarchy, is framed positively. Because it’s not the system of power that’s the problem, it’s just that bad people were in charge! But now the good people are in charge, so it’s all good!

They like talking about the tragedy of war, like referencing historical atrocities in scripts, like talking about how deep it all is. They love to talk about how they wanted to create a fantasy series grounded not in magic, but political reality. But they have no understanding of political reality beyond the most basic basic shit. Like war is bad dontcha know! Yeah, no shit!

So these two messed up the characters, they messed up the fantasy, but they also messed up the part they claimed to care about most, the politics. Because they’re dumbshits.

Jesus this got long. If you read all this, thank you for listening to the ramblings I wrote while I should be working.

#got #got season 8 #game of thrones #anti game of thrones #anti d&d #holy shit why did i write so much #this is entirely just for me #no one else can be expected to read this

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