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kazoosandfannypacks · 11 months

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Open to Interpretation- CUT CONTENT!

As I write, I end up cutting out a lot of dialogue and scenes, throwing them in a special place I like to call "the cryochamber" to save them to use later. It's later, so here's some dialogue, scenes, and other tidbits that, while I dearly loved, ultimately didn't make the final cut in my fic, Open to Interpretation.

"It's been awhile since someone's called me a talentless hack to my face," he shrugged, "and I thought you might be less inclined to do so if you knew who I was." "You wanted to hear me ruthlessly pick apart your paintings?" "Don't act so surprised," he said, "besides, I said to myself 'Killian, if you can make a believer of this woman, you can make a believer out of anyone.'"

"Sorry?" she offered. "It's alright, Swan?" he addressed her, "I've read many a scathing review of my work in my day...."

"All I'm saying is," Lily said, "you've been running from one bad relationship right into another since you were seventeen." "This is different." "That's what you said about the last one." "The last one was a deadbeat," Emma said, "and I knew that going into it." "So I guess this one will be a surprise deadbeat."

After getting home past eleven, Emma took a quick shower, then messaged Killian to ask what the next day's agenda was- which led to a phone call to discuss the next two days' plans, and then a discussion of how Killian would make up for it when it all inevitably sucked, and then conversation about favorite movies and shows, and then life in general, and before long it was two a.m.

he turned to her for only a moment- a sincere, shot through the heart moment, before turning his gaze back on the road.

[A/N: this section was one I was absolutely devastated to cut out. As you'll see from reading this, my initial plan was for Emma to accept Killian's request to become boyfriend and girlfriend in Chapter 10. I then realized it was a little out of character, took away some of the conflict of the story, and made the title of the story less of a tell for the plot (granted, when I titled it, I had no intention of writing that much of the story ;)) so I had to cut out this beautiful chapter, consoling myself that I'd include it in this post. Also, though it's not mentioned in this excerpt, Killian has parked the car on the side of the road here.] "You don't know what you're getting yourself into," Emma shook her head, "I'm a mess." "Thank goodness," Killian smiled, "messy people are so much more freeing. If I wanted someone who thought they were perfect, I would've stayed at the benefit dinners at the museum. But I want someone who keeps me on my toes, someone I can be myself around- someone who inspires me." Her hand was resting on the console between them, and he took it in his. "I want you, Emma Swan," he said, "if only you'd have me." She smirked. "If that's what you want…." "You are." "Then I want you too," Emma said, then laughed a little as she addressed him, "boyfriend." He didn't try to hide the smile beaming across his face or the flush creeping across his cheeks. "You've no idea how happy that makes me," he said, "girlfriend." "I just might," Emma smiled. "Oh, really?" Killian raised an eyebrow and leaned a touch closer to her. Emma leaned closer as well and tacked on a, "yeah." Though he couldn't be completely sure, Killian was developing a theory that his new girlfriend knew exactly what she was doing to him when she used that tone and said those words and leaned so close to him he could practically taste her breath. He let go of her hand so he could tuck her hair behind her ear, pull her closer with a longing look in his eyes. "Permission to kiss the masterpiece?" he asked. "One of those days I'm gonna find that joke corny instead of endearing," Emma said, the smile between her blush brushed cheeks revealing that day would be a long ways off, "either way, permission granted." He reached up with his other hand as well, pulling her hair behind both her ears as he pulled her closer to him, and laid the next brushstroke on her lips. He half expected her to pull away, but instead felt her hands on his jacket, pulling him closer rather than pushing him away. His fingers danced through her hair as her hands found their way to his neck, pulling him as close as she could with their seatbelts still buckled. He almost considered prematurely untangling his fingers from her hair and letting go just a moment to unbuckle his seatbelt, but then remembered they had a graduation to get to, and his dad wasn't likely to take, "I was making out with a beautiful woman" as a valid excuse for showing up late. So, begrudgingly, he pulled his lips off hers, far enough to break off the kiss, but lingering close enough not to break off its intimacy. "To be continued?" he asked, his heavy breath in unison with hers. "Yeah," she nodded, "yeah." Killian sighed as he backed off, capturing her smile in his mind one more time before starting the car and getting back on the road. Even still, as the radio clicked back on and they continued their road trip, they didn't stop exchanging playful glances with each other.

She didn't respond, so he looked back over to her, noting how the hillsides behind them brought out her green eyes- not that he needed that boost to see them, to be drawn to them. Her smile seemed almost awestruck, and her eyes sparkled with hope, but also with a touch of fear he tried to dispel. Killian glanced back at the road just long enough to pull the car over and park on the side of the road, then found himself lost in her eyes again.

Emma wasn't ready for another relationship to end in burning flames like the last one, and she wouldn't be ready for a relationship with him until he proved that he wasn't some deadbeat or sleazebag like the last guys she'd dated.

The pink grew even more vibrant as he said that, then spun around to her side so his arm was wrapped around her shoulder, then he let her hand trickle down to her side instead. "You didn't ask me how you looked," Emma added as they walked towards the school. "Oh?" he asked, "my apologies. How do I look, Swan?" She smiled as she gave him a once-over with her eyes. "Stupid."

The dark form of nostalgia that lingered about this home and his dad were almost suffocating.

"I don't mind that you don't respect me," Killian said, taking another step toward his dad, "I've gotten over the fact that no matter what I do, I'm always just the family disappointment, the black sheep for no reason other than that I remind you of what you've lost, like a stain on a shirt that you wish was never there, that try as you may to cover it up with your tie, it always haunts you."

"I know that, Swan," Kilian said, taking his eyes off the road a moment to try to read her, reminding himself again of how gorgeous she was, "but why did you feel the need to get me out of it? I'm used to my dad." "You shouldn't have to be," Emma said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "You deserve to be treasured." He half laughed, but when he looked at Emma, she seemed genuine. "I'm nothing special." "You're the most special man I've ever met," Emma said, "and even the least special people I've ever met deserve to be loved. You aren't an exception to that." "Really?" he asked. "Of course," Emma said, "everyone deserves to be treated well." "No, no," Killian said, "what was that before that?" He looked at her, and they both smiled at each other. "You deserve to be treasured?" Emma asked, her voice revealing that she knew that wasn't what he was getting at. "After that," he said, "after I said I'm nothing special?" "That you're the most special man I've ever met?" Emma asked. Killian smiled, "those are some pretty big words- especially from the most special woman I've ever met." "I'm no one special either," Emma said, the confidence in her voice having clearly been shaken out of her. "No, no, no," Killian said, not about to let Emma deprecate herself like that, "if I'm not allowed to say I'm not special, neither are you."t

"Are you busy tonight?" Emma asked. If he had been busy, he'd've dropped any plans he had for whatever Emma was proposing. "I don't know," he said, sarcastically, "I've just heard I have a commitment at the museum tonight…." Emma rolled her playful eyes, "well, that's too bad. I was going to see if you wanted to do something tonight."

#kazzy writes #captain swan #once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #ouat #cs ff #cs fanfiction #cs au #once upon a time season 6 #lily ouat #open to interpretation

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anticonspiracist · 2 years

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Hi,

I would come of anon, cause I like an open dialogue, but I’m kinda afraid I’m going to get harassed because of my ask… so anon it is. I’m a Larrie, have been for a while now. I came across your blog and I’m kinda interested in your reasons for not believing in Larry. I couldn’t find those easily. Do you just not see what we see in their bodylanguage, the way they were different from all the other boys? And if it is because of Louis’s denials, do you not believe in closeting in general or just not for Louis and Harry?

First of all, thank you for the questions. If anything I write here needs more clarification for you, feel free to come off anon and send me a DM.

I’ve answered all of these questions multiple times before, but since my first anti-conspiracist blog, shit-larries-say, got nuked, a lot of my answers to these questions are gone as well so I’ll answer them again without hesitation.

I entered fandom in early April of 2016 by clicking on the Buzzfeed picspam called “There’s A Wild Conspiracy Theory That Louis Tomlinson’s Baby Is Fake.” Much of that picspam was incomprehensible to me as far as evidence goes – when I’m instructed to look at what’s circled, or to read the text added by a larrie pointing out what they believe to be an obvious tell, I’m just not seeing what they expect me to see. Initially I thought this was just because I didn’t know the “players,” but it’s been six years now and I know the actual reason: it genuinely doesn’t mean anything.

When I say that I entered fandom through reading this picspam, I’ve left out why I even clicked on the link that showed up on my Twitter timeline as a retweet from someone I met at a baseball game the previous spring. I’ve been a political junkie on and off my entire life (okay, from the time I was 6) and at around that same time it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that Trump was going to win the Republican nomination for President. Only about a month later he’d be named the presumptive nominee. I’d noticed a rise in political conspiracy theories that paired with his rise in influence, and people I thought I knew from my life were posting more and more unhinged screeds on Facebook. I was alarmed and trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. When that link made it to my Twitter feed, I saw an opportunity for myself to figure it out. Something I knew already from my first forays into reading the literature was that regardless of the subject of a conspiracy theory, people who believed in them followed the same thought patterns. Lower stakes than the future of American democracy was this boyband baby situation, so it would be less infuriating to dig into and understand. And if I could understand why someone believed in this absurdity, I could formulate possible procedures for convincing them not to believe in it, and then that could be applied to other, more pressing conspiracy theories and their believers.

(Spoiler alert: I now know that while it is possible to turn a person away from their conspiratorial beliefs, it is not possible to do so on a wider scale than the individual, so basically we’re fucked there.)

Okay, so that’s my background of how I came to be here, which actually answers most of your questions neatly: I don’t believe in Larry because I don’t believe in conspiracy theories generally. There isn’t anything special about Larry that, to someone who recognizes the inherent harm in the conspiracy mindset, is any different from QAnon, or people who believe JFK wasn’t assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, or Flat Earth, or David Icke’s lizard overlords, or any of Alex Jones’s host of conspiratorial beliefs. Simply, “They” are hiding the truth because “They” don’t want us to know it, and “They” are evil for this while “we” are enlightened and on the “right” side and in time the world will know that “we” were right. And all of this relies on underlying antisemitic canards. NOT GOOD. [If you find yourself wanting to say to me, "But some conspiracy theories turn out to be true!" don't bother. I know. But I am also aware that mathematically it's nearly impossible for this one to be true.

Outside of that, I’m a high school teacher. I’ve taught ages 12-19 in my career and this coming school year will be my 10th at the HS level. Every day at work I interact with teenage boys the same age that 1D were when they were thrown together. What you see as irrefutable proof that two teenage boys are in a committed romantic and sexual relationship is what I see on a daily basis: boys being boys. In my summer life I travel overseas and teach this same age group about leadership. I have seen boys from different continents and cultures, five minutes after meeting, wear a sweatshirt together (yes, imagine how that happened) because they were both cold and only one was prepared. This means nothing about their sexualities.

Furthermore, regarding your point that Harry and Louis’s body language toward each other was different from the other boys? No, it wasn’t. It will seem that way to you because of confirmation bias – you’ll see what you want to see – and because there’s simply not as many slowed-down gifs of all the other boys interacting with each other. There isn’t as much lore about these alternate pairings packaged and passed down from “dinosaur larries” to new recruits.

Regarding closeting, I know it exists but I also know it has not ever existed the way larries claim it does and require it to in order for your conspiracy theory to “work.” For instance, Lance Bass is brought up by larries all the time and my friend and co-host and Lance superfan @back-to-louis will always push back on it. Lance did have girlfriends in his past, whom he loved, and who did not know he was gay. His bandmates did not know he was gay. He was not required by a contract to keep his sexuality a secret. He made that choice himself due to the political and social climate of the time. Furthermore, coming out was not his choice although he outed himself. He had a very limited amount of time to take control of his story before it was out of his hands and he wanted his family to know from him and not from scurrilous gossip on the internet.

If larries want to point to Lance Bass as an example that proves their conspiracy theory, they also have to ask themselves why they continue to engage in this kind of gossip which would wrench Harry and Louis’s control of their own narratives from their hands. If the larrie conspiracy theory were reality, larries are not the good guys. Look up Ian Thorpe and his contentious relationship with the Australian press regarding his sexuality. Did he previously deny being gay before eventually coming out? Certainly. He came out when he was ready. The only thing you can do, as a fan of Louis and/or Harry, is to respect what they’ve said regarding their sexuality, until and unless they tell you something else. Louis has said he’s straight. He hasn’t ever contradicted that. A good fan and person accepts that as his truth. Harry has been intentionally non-committal about his own sexuality while maintaining romantic relationships with women. Proceeding to label him with one or another is disrespectful. Until and unless he says something else, it’s your responsibility not only as a fan but as a good person to respect what he’s said. Will Harry ever see your blog? No. But there are plenty of queer people reading it, I’m sure, and when a queer person reads a larrie’s blog what they see is that their own words are to be ignored. It’s awful.

Judy Garland wasn’t paid to beard, neither were the women who loved Elton John and Freddie Mercury. There were no contracts involved. These were true love stories, or a friend doing a favor for a friend. THAT is what “bearding” is, not this convoluted contractual process that larries believe it is. And here’s another bone to pick: If the larrie belief of beard contracts were true, why the hell aren’t Harry or Louis EVER blamed for this harmful practice? Why is it only, in effect, their employee who gets the brunt of the internet hate from largely other women? How could you believe in this practice and just excuse Harry and Louis? Don’t you see that they’d be perpetuating a harmful practice? I can hear the defense now – “Oh, but it’s not their choice! They have to do this!” Well, bullshit. They are white millionaires with complete control over their lives. They hire their managers. No one is forcing them to sign contracts they don’t want to sign.

To sum up: I don’t believe in Larry because it is a conspiracy theory (this is not a pejorative use: it definitively checks all the boxes of a conspiracy theory) and I do not engage in conspiracism for multiple reasons, chief among them being that all conspiracy theories which rely on a shadowy sinister force hiding the “truth” are inherently antisemitic. I don’t fuck with that. Larrie belief isn’t a fandom, it’s conspiracism. Conspiracism is harmful to the fabric of our human society, the proof of which is out there for your perusal and embodied in the Trump Administration and also COVID denial at large. All conspiracy theorists rely on the same flawed thought processes, and so claiming that larry is just about “two boys in love” and therefore harmless is bullshit.

Again, feel free to DM me if you have any further questions.

#larry stylinson #louis tomlinson #harry styles #why skye is not a conspiracy theorist #conspiracy theory #conspiracy mindset #conspiracism #all conspiracy theories are the same #all conspiracy theorists are the same

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wytchia · 9 months

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If NH boys have a youtube channel. What kind of content would they do, and how many subscribers do you think they have? And what kind of silly drama they might involve in? Anyway, have a nice day/night xD

This has to be one of my favorites asks so far, thank you for giving me this opportunity to absolutely TRASH those boys.

Disclaimer: This post contains mentions of IRL shipping for the characters(Basically their followers ship them with other people.) and mentions of potential grooming on Ricardo's part (Because it's Ricardo).

I do not condemn in any shape or form grooming or IRL ships. Those scenarios are only made as my own interpretations of a potential reality and are not meant to encourage any of those things. See them as a way to denounce it.

NIGHTMARE HAREM

IF THEY HAD YOUTUBE CHANNELS

𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕚𝕒 probably has one of those channels where he does stupid challenges. It started off as a blurry video of him filming Mikael and their homeroom teacher arguing when they were younger (while you could clearly hear him giggling in the background) and it slowly became a channel of pranks and challenges to do to others. Fans became super involved in it and Mikael was a very common occurences in the videos. People started to speculate on their relationship and probably started shipping them. When they stopped talking, everyone was super upset and even though there was never an official statement, people still try to have them reconciliate. Mikael's followers love to come insult Lucia in his comments.

𝕃𝕖𝕧𝕪 he definitely has a channel about history or war strategies. He's absolutely passionate about it, but he doesn't have a lot of followers. His channel is very niche and the few fans he has are very loyal and are just as passionate about the subject than him. He loves his channel so much and is very proud of his content.Lucia probably leaked informations about him being his younger brother in one of his videos and his fans FLOODED Levy's usually calm comment's section. Levy was livid and probably flamed and trashed Lucia in a comment under one of Lucia's prank videos which started a drama between the two communauties. He probably was criticised for being too "rude" to his fans and followers by other people on the internet, but none of his actual followers take offense at it since they know he's simply very akward. Lucia definitely had to make a video to calm down his fans since they had started to harass Levy online.

𝕄𝕖𝕗𝕪 has probably two different channels. One of them is him making inspirationnal messages to his followers and the other is him spreading gossip and destroying people's reputations in their back. Of course the second channel is totally anonym and nobody knows it's him. He totally leaked Lucia's adress to Mikael's fan to see chaos unfold. Unfortunately for him, this means he's now forced to see trolls on his front lawn. That's what happen when you dox your own brother! A small community on reddit is actually ver suspicious of him and they have a bunch of conspiracy theories about his first channel. People probably tried to find out who was the creator of his second channel but they were all doxed before they could find out who it is...Strange. He's the prime initiator of most online dramas. For example, he was the one who started the Lucia×Mikael shipping war and the Oswald hate train.

𝕂𝕒𝕚𝕞 clearly has a channel to teach home economics to people. I refuse to believe he doesn't have one. He's probably the father figure of thousands of teenagers or young adults who were never thought how to cook or do their laundry properly. There is two type of people who follow him: the people who are struggling to do their dinner and need a tutorial and/or the people who cannot fall asleep at 3 am and watch his videos because they're satisfying to look at...And also because of his deep soft voice. He probably answer some questions in his comments section when people ask nicely. He never shows his face in his videos because he's a very private person and doesn't want to show his face to strangers.

𝕆𝕤𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕕 probably has a channel about gardening. Just like Levy's, his community is very niche. However unlike Levy, Oswald is always very kind and gentle with his followers and takes the time everyday to answer the most comments possible. He will sometimes makes appearances in Kaim's or Kurt's videos and will often talk about them in his own. Oswald doesn't show much of his face, but he doesn't mind showing it to his followers, he considers them his friends. I feel like he is bond to be involved in an internet drama, not because of how he acts or what he does, but because he has the reaper disease and as we know, people in nightmare are full of prejudices against demons affected by it. So yes, I think once some people discover his channel and recognise his face, they start to spread hate about him and basically try to cancel him. This makes him probably even more famous online (not for the good reasons though) and he probably has to go on a hiatus because his mental health is worsening. Redditors might even start conspiracy theories about him(Mefy and Ricardo had a blast with that.)...It all goes for the worse until Lucia and Kaim intervene and people calm down. When he goes back online, his follower count has tripled and his comments are closely monitored by Kaim.

𝕂𝕦𝕣𝕥 would have a channel dedicated only to his bird and his daily life.If you played Levy's route you know which bird I am talking about. It probably started off as a very bad edit of all the baby pics of his bird that he posted on youtube. There were maybe 2 likes on his video and they were from Kaim and Oswald. Both of the men will comment on every single one of his videos just to encourage him. When Lucia learns about Kurt's channel, he will absolutely ask his followers to go check it out and soon enough Kurt now has a few hundreds of followers!! He's not regular at all and usually answer most of his comments with emojis, but his fans are there just to see him smile and be happy. It's like the internet all agreed to protect him and cherish him. His account is secretely monitored by Kaim and every single person who says a bad thing about him is blocked + reported. If he needs to, he will use Lucia's name just to get the plateform to ban any hater.

𝕄𝕚𝕜𝕒𝕖𝕝 he probably had a small channel of his own but never posted anything when he was studying at the academy with Lucia. He somehow gained hundreds of followers just by being featured in the other boy's videos. He absolutely hated when Lucia's fans would ship Lucia and him together and it got to the point where he might have started to avoid his best friend... Then, as they grew up, they got into a fight and stopped talking to each other. Mikael started to post some videos about hair care routine and other random stuff and it got the attention of Lucia's fanbase, who started to harass him on a daily basis just to know why he wasn't in Lucia's videos anymore. It made him even more pissed at the demon and he started to throw some snappy comments about him online. He slowly got a reputation of a sassy person and attracted quite the following. He only ever likes a few comments and never answer them. It quickly became a game between him and Lucia to see who could throw the biggest shade at the other. Most of his videos feature Noel in it since the younger man is curious.

ℝ𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕠 is a wild card. His channel switches from very obvious NSFW content and thirst traps to pranks to advices on how to get fit or flirt with people(the latter is very dubious and has a very low success rate.). His channel is messy, just like him. Most of his fanbase are probably incels or thirsty people.I'm not sure weither he would be a very aggressive feminist and his followers ignore it or just an incel himself. There is no in-between.I feel like he might have been cancelled for rumors of him chatting with younger fans (~18 yo, he still has some boundaries apparently) in explicit contexts ,for saying some very inapropriate jokes and for being a main instigator in the Oswald's harassement era.He loves to poke fun at Mikael for the whole Lucia situation. His sextape was clearly leaked either by himself or by Mefy after he trashtalked his second channel. Either way, he's proud of it.

ℕ𝕠𝕖𝕝 probably had a joint channel with Oswald when he was younger but they eventually split after their falling off. Noel still posts about his garden and medecinal remedies, but he now focuses on hairstyling. If you played his route, you know he's a hairdresser at heart. He makes frequent appearances in both Mikael's (willingly) and Ricardo's (unwillingly) videos. He definitely has a video of him cutting off Ricardo's hair in his sleep and it went viral. Noel isn't active at all. He will post a video when he feels like it and the quality of it will be surprisingly good (4k shots of Mikael's new haircut!) and then he will be gone for weeks. He doesn't answer or like any of his comments and if anyone asks if he was Oswald's channel's co-founder, their comment is immediately deleted and their address leaked. When the whole Oswald-reaper drama happened, Noel took Oswald's side at the surprise of many of his fans who thought they despised each other.

𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕤 posted exactly 2 videos in his career as a youtuber. One of them was deleted by the plateform due to privacy breach. Nobody knows what it contened as it was deleted almost immediately after it was published. The second one is a short blurry footage of the forest as he admires very deadly but pretty flowers. It somehow became one of the most popular videos on the internet and set a trend of people searching and going to that exact spot in order to try and imitate the original video. He has near a million of followers hoping to see new content despite his last (and almost unique) video being posted years ago. His comments' section is filled with people asking for when he will come back, love declarations and other weird comments. No one ever heard his voice or saw a single part of his body in his videos, only his breathing. (Yes there is fanfictions of this mysterious man x Y/N). In reality Lucas simply forgot his password and was never able to log in his channel again, leaving his fans to wonder about his identity and his deleted secret video....

#nightmare harem #ciagram #nightmare harem lucia #nightmare harem oswald #nightmare harem mikael #nightmare harem kaim #nightmare harem levy #nightmare harem mefy #nightmare harem noel #nightmare harem ricardo #hcs #youtube

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isweetkitten · 10 months

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harry styles and jennie kim hooked up in the past; a thread. (PART 2)

the images below are just to represent the thread, i got both from @roseqnne.

in part two, i promised to explain why my theory if all of harry and jennie's public interactions at the time are so silly and no big deal.

from here, there is almost no proven interaction between H and J. it's just speculation.

well, let's start with that.

harry's holidays at japan.

in january of 2019, when harry finished the 'Live On Tour', he decided to take advantage of his rest period in japan (a country he loves very much). jennie, who began her journey of fame and acclaim in the west, was already very well regarded with blackpink throughout asia, with japan being one of the main countries.

it is possible that harry has heard a lot about jennie in japan, even having mutual friends, such as the model kiko mizuhara, who is always seen with blackpink members at events in the country and even follows all the girls on instagram, including jennie. it is worth remembering that before conquering the world, jennie is a fashion icon throughout asia since the beginning of her career.

remembering that in march, still the beginning of the year, he followed jennie on instagram.

harry in a dinner with kiko and jisoo & rosé with her in a fashion event.

sunflower, vol. 6

i think i am going to touch a sensitive spot by theorizing that this song might actually be about jennie, but i don't care! it's my theory, and believe it or not, she was to blame for my mistrust of a romance between this two.

in august 2019, jennie, together with lisa, jisoo and rosé, spent her vacation in honolulu, hawaii, where she posted a photo with the following caption:

Fine Line seems a lot to do with harry's whole relationship with camille rowe, but 'sunflower, vol. 6', analyzing the lyrics, is about meeting someone new, who is still not close enough and all that initial nervousness. it's not a serious thing, but a crush that makes you feel nervous and apprehensive, a person you really want to get to know more and get deeper into and it's one of those harry songs that the fandom isn't so sure of or plausible theories about what it might be.

the album was only released in december of 2019.

jennie in london.

in march 2020, almost 1 year after the first sign, jennie goes to london to work for the gentle monster eyewear brand. coincidentally, harry was also in town. on valentine's day, jennie went to dinner at a restaurant and posted one of the following photos:

i don't believe harry had it there, otherwise someone would probably have asked for a photo or taken one in secret, however, coincidence or not, he was mugged while walking down the street at the exactly same day.

in this interview for The Howard Stern Show, harry also reveal that he was single at the time. taking the opportunity to say that i don't believe they had any possibility of anything serious for several reasons, starting with their busy schedules and different continents.

in my theory, this was one of harry and jennie's last moments, even if they were just having fun and getting to know each other. some time later, harry started his relationship with olivia wilde and jennie entered into rumors of a possible one with g-dragon.

now, let's jump to 2022.

and stay for the song analysis!

#Spotify #blackpink #harry styles #jennie kim #jennie #celebrities #jisoo #rosé #kiko mizuhara #kpop

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cosmicjoke · 2 years

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Alright, so, still haven’t had a chance to watch episode 7 of IWTV yet, but I’ve been made aware of the theory being posited that the final reveal of Louis calling Armand the “love of my life” and some other details of the episode are meant to clue the audience into the fact that Louis is being mind controlled by Armand, and that the inconsistencies in his story, especially regarding Lestat, are a result of this. I like this theory, as it’s truly the only logical, and justifiable explanation for... everything from episode 5 on. If Armand is distorting Louis’ memories of Lestat to have him remembering Lestat as this horrific abuser, that wold be keeping well in line with Armand’s character.

I just finished rereading IWTV, and the last chapter (which I’d forgotten almost entirely since I first read the book years ago) is deeply revealing about Armand’s character and, even more so, I think, Lestat’s character.

I’ve seen plenty of people who I have to assume never read the books, or just have low level reading comprehension, refer to Lestat in the first book at the “villain” of the story, and I’ve already made a post about why that’s an incorrect statement to make. And this final chapter really just drives home exactly why.

Firstly, with Armand, if anyone is thinking Armand incapable of manipulating Louis to the extent in which this theory posits him as doing, in the book, in the final chapter of IWTV, he flat out admits to Louis that he himself forced Claudia out into the courtyard and locked her in as the sun was breaking. Armand killed Claudia, by his own hand. More revealing still, though, is that Armand, earlier, in order to get Louis to agree to go back to New Orleans, reveals to him that Lestat is still alive, and we learn near the end of the chapter that he does so because he’s hoping that seeing Lestat will revitalize Louis’ lost passion and love, specifically, his lost passion and love for Armand himself. He’s banking on Lestat revealing to Louis that Armand was the one who killed Claudia by his own hand. Lestat, however, doesn’t do this. And this brings us again to the fallacy of calling Lestat the villain of the first book. Lestat’s completely desperate and pitiful state which Louis finds him is is a direct result of him having lost Louis and Claudia both, and the way in which he begs Louis to stay with him, and confesses to Louis that he never meant for Claudia to be killed, that he didn’t know what Santiago had planned, once again truly exposes Lestat’s true nature. He wasn’t ever the unfeeling, cold, dimwitted or monstrous man Louis, for a long time, believed him to be. He loved Louis and Claudia desperately, he needed them, not for Louis’ money, as Louis initially believed, but because he so loved Louis and Claudia both. It was just, because of his own, terrible trauma, which is hinted at in this book, but not expanded upon, he never knew how to express it. There’s a point in the book in which Louis explains how, on nights when he and Lestat would go out to the opera, or to a play, Lestat would afterwards show so much human joy and enthusiasm for the experience that Louis would confess to him that he enjoyed Lestat’s company, and after each such confession, Lestat would pull away and not ask to go out with Louis for months at a time. It’s impossible to know exactly why just from reading IWTV, but of course, for anyone who’s read The Vampire Lestat, it becomes clear that Lestat is dealing with a lot of abandonment issues and childhood trauma which causes in him a great and awful fear of being left alone. Of course, it’s a common thing for people who fear abandonment to pull away from those they love, frightened that if that person comes to learn too much about them, they’ll end up hating and leaving them. We get plenty of clues to this being the case with Lestat throughout the first book. He was never just some evil baddie who terrorized poor Louis and Claudia and treated them like trash.

Lestat’s desperate pleas for Louis to come back to him in Paris, and then for him to stay in New Orleans, reflect that. He says to Louis “I wanted to talk to you so much. That night I came home to the Rue Royale, I only wanted to talk to you!”. Lestat always wished he could open up to Louis and express how he truly felt, but he was always too paralyzed by his own fear to do so, early on anyway.

I bring this all up because, contrary to what some people who defend the shows depiction of Lestat would have us believe, Lestat was never meant to be seen as the villain of that story, and so him being depicted as such in the show never would and never did make any sense. It would be an almost unbelievable misreading of the text by the show runners for them not to realize this, and unless they really are just that blatantly disrespectful of Anne Rice’s work, I can’t see them being that stupid. So I think, in light of this, the theory that Louis’ memories of Lestat are being altered by Armand makes all the more sense. Lestat would never hurt Louis or Claudia the way he does in the show, not if we’re talking about the ACTUAL Lestat. He loves them too much to ever do anything even remotely akin it, and he always did. He doesn’t even shown any resentment towards Claudia, despite how deeply she wronged him, and that tells you all you need to know.

Now how that relates back to Armand, and how Armand attempts to use Lestat to manipulate Louis, I think feeds into the theory for the show. Armand shows no qualms whatsoever about using Lestat in order to gain Louis’ love and trust, or to use him to shift Louis into a more wanted state. We first see this when Armand affects disgust with Lestat in Paris, after Claudia is killed, by asking him if he’s “satisfied” with what’s happened in front of Louis, pretending at his own innocence in the whole affair, as if he’s defending Louis from Lestat’s evil. And then of course later, when he thinks by forcing Louis and Lestat back together, it will reawaken Louis lost passion for life and rekindle his interest in Armand himself.

Louis reveals though that he already knows Armand killed Claudia, and he doesn’t care, because he feels nothing for Armand anymore. Hardly the “love of his life”, as he says in the show. Louis would never say that of Armand. By the end of IWTV, Louis’ distaste for Armand is plain as day. He wants him gone, he wants to be away from him, he’s disgusted by him. He even calls Armand out on pretending to be sad about having caused Claudia’s death. Louis knows Armand doesn’t give a fuck.

So, assuming the show is intending to actually have Louis and Lestat end up together, as everyone involved has previously claimed, this would be a logical and justifiable explanation for the seeming character assassination they’ve performed on... well, everyone in this show thus far.

I still think it was ridiculous to go about it in this way, and has done nothing but cause a lot of grief and misery and confusion regarding the direction the show was taking. It’s woefully arrogant for the show runners to think they can go about telling Anne Rice’s story better than Anne Rice herself. The whole thing has been convoluted. I get they want to keep the audience on their toes and guessing, to surprise the audience so they’ll keep tuning in. I get that’s how TV works. But Anne Rice has sold millions of books, and the ratings on this last episode were, I’ve heard, about half a million people. They aren’t exactly pulling fans of the books in in droves, it seems, probably because they’ve caused so much confusion and anger by deviating so drastically from the books themselves.

They should have just stuck to what Anne Rice wrote. It’s infinitely more complex, heartfelt, and powerful than anything the show has given us. But, whatever, that’s how it is in Hollywood. They routinely butcher works of literature, thinking they’re making it more exciting, when really, they’re just robbing it of its heart.

Just read this paragraph from the last chapter, and tell me this doesn’t move you more than anything this show has been able to do:

“Don’t try to speak... it’s all right.” I said to Lestat, who dropped down gratefully into his chair and reached out to stroke the lapels of my coat with both hands.

“But I’m so glad to see you,” he stammered through his tears. “I’ve dreamed of your coming... coming...” he said. And then he grimaced, as if he were feeling a pain he couldn’t identify, and again the fine map of scars appeared for an instant. He was looking off, his hand up to his ear, as if he meant to cover it to defend himself from some terrible sound. “I didn’t...” he started; and then he shook his head, eyes clouding as he opened them wide, strained to focus them. “I didn’t mean to let them do it, Louis... I mean that Santiago... that one, you know, he didn’t tell me what they planned to do.”

“That’s all past, Lestat,” I said.

“Yes, yes,” he nodded vigorously. “Past. She should never... why Louis, you know...” And he was shaking his head, his voice seeming to gain in strength, to gain a little in resonance with his effort. “She should never have been one of us, Louis.” And he rapped his sunken chest with his fist as he said “Us” again softly.

But yes, Lestat was just a big old meanie in the first book, he was just the villain. Sure. Okay.

Anyway, I’m off to start “The Vampire Lestat” next.

#amc's interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire #Anne Rice #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #armand

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thewertsearch · 2 years

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Asks Compilation 30/05

And they really do. It’s kind of a crime that they never grew up together, because that would have been the funniest shit ever.

I’ll give them a look soon then! I’m planning on doing a few in-between things like that after the conclusion of Act 4.

That’s four accidental references. I guess when your comic is already so reference-heavy, this becomes kind of a statistical inevitability.

I really gotta check out this game.

That’s hilarious, but also - people do live reads on Twitch? That’s so fun! It wouldn’t be for me, but I’d love to watch some of those, once I’ve finished the comic. It’s such a novel way to do something like this.

The Midnight Crew are duplicated across sessions, and I think it’s pretty likely that the same goes for all unique Carapaicians. I’m fairly confident that WV, PM and AR all exist in the troll session.

If he’s always predisposed to rebel, then he’s just another card Sburb can play. It’s like anon said - if the Reckoning is coming on a little too early, he attacks the Black King to delay it, so Players can get there on time.

But he can’t ever win, because the game decrees that Prospit can’t be spared. This is why I hope he isn’t scripted, because if he is, this whole thing gets really tragic really fast.

Hah, I noticed after I posted it, but I didn’t bother to change it. It really captured the energy of those last few panels.

Hell yeah! 😍 It’ll be cool to see how the design evolves as I learn what each of the trolls’ features actually mean and signify.

They’re honestly a ton of fun to make. I haven’t done any sprite work in a long time, and it’s been really fun to get back into it!

Damn it, this is what happens when you type your FAQ at 2am...

Theory: The Guardians weren’t cloned from themselves. They were created from mutant TBH DNA, and the Striders are the least mutated of all.

As a former security analyst, I am honor-bound to practice good infosec and not share my birthday online. But yeah, we’re in my season!

I never liked having a summer birthday - I much prefer winter weather, since I’m kinda photosensitive. I’m also the only one in my family with a summer birthday. In defiance to Gemini symbolism, I stand alone. >:)

Oh, yeah, I can for sure believe that people would still ship these kids post-Veil - lest we forget the perfect storm of discourse that was early Supernatural.

It’s probably a good thing that these kids were thirteen-year-old online friends, and not eighteen-year-old college roommates. That could have got really awkward, and I imagine (read: hope) that Sburb intercedes to make sure such situations don’t arise.

Again: My heartfelt thanks to all readers for not asking me about shipping pre-Veil. I don’t think I would have shipped RoseDave or JohnJade, but if I’d actually had reason to think about it at the time, you never know...

Like, I know this stuff is probably just being alchemized, but I can’t get over the possibility that Players have ‘iconic accessories’ built into their DNA.

Except the Striders. They just get big ol’ eyes.

Love the idea that Battlefield Carapacians have their own distinct culture. Living in an eternal war zone would change you, no matter how deeply ingrained your Sburb programming was.

I like to think that when WV rose up, it was the war-weary Battlefield Carapacians who were the first to stand beside him

[ Rex Duodecim is really good but it spoils some stuff later on. you should watch it after Act 5 fully ends... maybe even liveblog it? - Cat ]

Thanks a bunch, and get well soon! I’m glad that the liveblog is helping you through it!

So it’s a fanmade video that was confirmed as canon later on? Or is it more that the author likes it so much that they consider it canon? Either way, I’ll check it out when I can be sure it won’t spoil me on anything!

Thank you! You can thank @beneath-these-bones for the initial design. It’s a fantastic base, and I plan to update it when I get round to drawing some alchemy gear.

It works either way! Despite the fact that I never get assigned the Space Aspect, I still love all things astronomical.

Yeah, I’m inclined to agree. I love the star’s dopey face, but the planet does look a lot better. Initially I made the planet’s ring fully horizontal, but this is definitely an improvement.

Chillingly plausible. Now that we know Rose’s Grimoire is the real deal, who knows what effect that thing was having on her, over the years? Plus, she’s been dreaming on Derse her whole life...

#asks #full liveblog #act 4 #classpect

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 9 months

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So, I’ve decided to change up this blog’s theme a bit. I haven’t changed anything since I first created it, almost exactly three years ago – I believe this blog’s was born on August 11, 2020. At that point, I’d watched all of a few major panel shows and sitcoms, was in the process of watching more, and had my initial list of other stuff I wanted to see. And was running out people in real life who would speak to me because I kept telling them about British people they did not care about, so I figured I had to start putting some of it on the internet.

I went to Tumblr because it’s the only social media site on the internet that isn’t bullshit. Reddit – does what it does well, parts of it are good for specific discussions, but it doesn’t let you set up an account and just post whatever you want, you have to find the correct subreddit. Twitter – can you imagine me in 240 characters, or whatever it is now? Facebook – I already had an account there, everyone I know in real life is on there, they were spamming it at the time with conspiracy theories because I was quickly learning that it turns out everyone I had chosen to surround myself with in life is terrible! Every social media site besides those ones – that’s where the influencers live, isn’t it? I don’t want to go where the influencers live.

So I created a Tumblr account. Tumblr asked me a few questions of the bat, and I thought about them for around one minute each – enough so each answer would mean something, but I was mostly just going with my initial instincts.

It asked me what I wanted my cover photo to be, and I went with my favourite season of my favourite panel show - simple.

It asked me for a profile picture, and I thought, what do I want to represent me? What part of Britcom, for this Britcom blog, captures the essence of how I’d like to be seen? And then I thought: Jo Brand. But not just any Jo Brand. Those pictures of Jo Brand that the Daily Mail and similar publications used when they were trying to smear her after she made that Nigel Farage milkshake joke in 2019. I want people to look at the internet representation of me, and see the version of Jo Brand from those papers, where they thought she looked bad and threatening and she had a cup in her hand as though she’d just poured her drink on a racist and was wishing she had something stronger. That’s what I want to be.

It asked me for a username, and this wasn't even an RIP tribute thing, because Sean Lock was still alive then. I just thought about what was a Britcom panel show moment funny enough to seem worth using as a name, and the first thing I’d thought of was Sean Lock on 8 Out of 10 Cats saying he wants to tell the meerkats it’s fine. So that’s what I am now. And that one I won’t change – I like that name, and I have to have some consistency, I think of this as my “Tell the Meerkats it’s Fine” blog, so if I changed it then it would become a completely different blog, and I don’t want that.

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It asked me for a blog title, and I immediately thought of James Acaster’s comment on one of my favourite episodes of Catsdown. Possibly my very favourite episode, actually. I thought it was funny, and fitting, for a blog where I’ll be writing about people who can be called legends, in various ways and with varying degrees of irony. I don't see that one changing any time soon either, because it fits perfectly.

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So the names remain, but I’ve decide it’s time for new pictures. It’s been a while. The focus of this blog has changed a bit. It’s still a Britcom blog, and Taskmaster season 4 is still my favourite season of my favourite panel show, and I still have great respect for the version of Jo Brand that the Daily Mail tried to smear because she made a joke about wanting to maim a racist. But in the last year, I’ve found myself more into stand-up and podcasts than panel shows and sitcoms, which is where this blog started.

(Also I chose those pictures before I read some of the stuff Jo Brand has said about TERFs – not that she is one, if she were a TERF I would not have kept my profile picture after learning that, she’s just sounded slightly more “well, we should listen to both sides” about the issue than I’d like, ideally, in a person whom I designate as the face that will represent me on the internet. Also I chose those pictures before learning that Noel Fielding might have slept with a teenager quite a few years ago, but not enough years ago so that he was also a teenager, and it’s entirely possible that the tabloids made all that up, I hope they made it all up, the point is that the hilarious panel show things I liked don’t seem quite as perfectly clean as they did a few years ago.)

So, I have updated my blog to reflect changing times, in my comedy-related interests. And I realize this is quite a change, because I’ve had multiple people tell me over the last few years that they picture me as looking like Jo Brand, because Jo Brand is the avatar next to all my posts. I do enjoy that, and I apologize to all those people who think I am Jo Brand that you are now going to have to adjust to seeing something else when you look at my blog.

I asked myself, who would I choose now, out of all the people in comedy, to represent me? Not someone I think I actually am like – I would never be arrogant enough to make such a claim. But someone who represents enough of the things I think are perfect so I would want them to be my face on the internet, feel no hesitation about having their face on all my posts? And there was no question, really.

If anyone reading this blog must have an image of me in their heads, I would like that image to be Josie Long, wearing a feminist t-shirt (it says “No More Page Three” on it), at The Stand comedy club in Edinburgh, doing some of her early pro-socialism material for a Stewart Lee TV show in 2013. I can't think of much that's better than that.

I also thought about a new cover image – what is the most significant Britcom thing to me these days, for this Britcom blog? Of course there are many things, that are central to my current interests, and it’s hard to find just one image that summarizes enough of them. But I know what comes the closest to that.

Five comedians on stage: Daniel Kitson, Adam Hills, David O’Doherty, Demetri Martin, John Oliver. I have seen/heard all stand-up comedy DVDs/CDs/any other official releases by all of those people, as well as quite a few things that were not officially released. Heard a few hundred hours of John Oliver on the original run of The Bugle, and that’s a huge thing that’s shaped my current comedy interests. I’ve become rather disillusioned with Adam Hills lately, but I did watch several hundred episodes of The Last Leg, and it had some very good stuff in its glory days. All five of David O’Doherty’s albums are saved on my phone, because I’ve heard them all all the way through before but I enjoy going back and jumping around and re-listening to them. Demetri Martin’s out there giving me one comedian I can reference to my North American friends, and they’ll have heard of him (I mean, John Oliver too, but my favourite John Oliver things are British or at least Transatlantic things that people don’t know here, while if I talk about the Demetri Martin things I like, I’m talking about the same stand-up recordings people here know). And Daniel Kitson took over my life some time ago and that has not come close to abating.

We’re coming up on the twenty-year anniversary of this, by the way. It happened on August 26, 2003 (if you want some useless information that lives in my brain, that was also Nish Kumar’s eighteenth birthday). I should have some sort of party for the twenty-year mark. I’ll rip some stuffed cows in half and sing some Eminem songs wrong.

I’ve come to refer to this incident as Cowgate, which I thought was a clever name. Employs the common thing where you use the suffix “-gate” to mean “scandal”, because I don’t know what the fuck was going on there but I don’t think it was right with God. Also, it took place in the recently rebuilt Gilded Balloon, after the original Gilded Balloon burned down, because it was in the Cowgate neighbourhood of Edinburgh, and there was a fire in Cowgate.

Someone who knows I'm sufficiently interested in that video to have created my own nickname for it, but for some reason still speaks to me anyway, very helpfully took a picture for me at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, of a sign in the Cowgate neighbourhood. I’d been thinking of updating my blog’s pictures anyway, and this seemed like the perfect time to do it. Take a screenshot of that video and label it with the picture of the Cowgate sign–combining pictures from two different Edinburgh Festivals, twenty years apart – and there you go, that’s the comedy I like. It’s Kitson. It’s O’Doherty. It’s Oliver when he was British. It’s Hills before he was tight with the monarchy. It’s Chocolate Milk Gang. It’s cool yet inexplicable shit from old Edinburgh Festivals. It’s 00s-era comedy history. It’s a collection of things that followed from so much earlier stuff that I respect, and paved the way for so much later stuff that I respect. It’s been keeping me awake at night for like a year now with questions about the fuck they were doing. It’s all the comedy things I’m most interested in these days.

Apologies for the shit image quality, but it really is the best I could do. The original video is in much worse quality than this. I put some time into catching a screenshot at the exact moment when the spotlight shone in the right place, so you could see what was happening a little bit. I then ran it through two different image enhancers to get it as clear as this. So that's as good as it's getting.

For anyone who for some reason can't recognize these comedians in dim light and terrible image quality with faces out of sight and it was twenty years ago - that's Adam Hills holding the mic and rapping at them. John Oliver in red, wielding a pipe like a video game character. David O'Doherty in green, appearing to recoil in fear of John Oliver's power. Kitson with no fear of John Oliver or his weapon or the cow, jumping in there next to Adam Hills. And Demitri Martin in white, looking like a mechanic working on a car for most of this video.

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phoneybeatlemania · 1 year

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I posted 960 times in 2022

That's 831 more posts than 2021!

363 posts created (38%)

597 posts reblogged (62%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@idontwanttospoiltheparty

@phoneybeatlemania

@charlesandkeef

@frodolives

@themagicalmysticalboy

I tagged 947 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 136 posts

#a day in (my) life - 120 posts

#beatles - 102 posts

#anon - 98 posts

#paul mccartney - 89 posts

#quotes - 88 posts

#john lennon - 69 posts

#pauls psyche - 53 posts

#song talks - 52 posts

#johns psyche - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#but maybe hes just being friendly because i dont actually know what good relationships between people are supposed to look like 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

My Top Posts in 2022:

You Just Scream: Janovs homophobia & John Lennon

“You've got to hide your love away…”

(Cw: Homophobic speech and slurs)

This post is part 1 in a series of essays I'm working on, entitled “You Just Scream: John & Janov", which aim to explore and investigate the effect Arthur Janov’s therapy sessions had on John Lennon. This essay will focus on the question: “did Janov give John gay conversion therapy?”.

Also, this post is extremely long–I’m aware lol–but 1. I promise a lot of it is just interviews and evidence, most of which you don’t have to read in full and 2. I have cut it into sections, so it should be fairly easy to skip to the parts you are really interested in reading!

Abstract:

So I said (ages ago, whoops) id post some quotes from Arthur Janov’s book The Primal Scream: the cure for neurosis for anyone interested getting a clearer insight into how Janov perceived of homosexuality—which is unequivocally negatively. I was initially interested in researching this, because I was somewhat confounded with the ‘Janov gave John Lennon conversion therapy’ argument, since I could see valid points on both sides. I knew it was true that Janov definitely held homophobic beliefs, but I was sceptical considering John still continued to joke around and hint at his sexuality, allegedly came out (to differing degrees based on who you ask) to those around him, and depending how much trust and reliance you place on certain sources, he might have "fooled around" with other men throughout the 70s. And I also wondered how deeply rooted Janov’s homophobia was, considering that when Janov published The Primal Scream in 1970, homosexuality was still deemed to be a mental illness (in the DSM-3), and would not be declassified as such until 1973—so essentially, it would not have been uncommon for psychologists to affiliate with homophobic theories and beliefs. What I wanted to discern was exactly how fundamental and present these beliefs were within Janov’s therapeutic practices.

But it was when I came across evidences revealing that Brian and Spain were topics of discussion during therapy, that made me decide to finally run a thorough investigation into this topic.

Recognising Janov's misconceptions surrounding the psychology of sexuality, and additionally noting that he was, at least for some time, a massive influence on John—as well as combining this with the evidence that they did discuss Johns bisexuality, it’s more then likely that Janov would have negatively impacted Johns relationship with his own sexuality. John, having spent an extensive and intimate amount of time with someone who saw homosexuality as a product of emotional and mental turmoil, was negatively influenced by his presence and beliefs.

So in this essay, I will be trying to discern an answer to the question: did Janov give John Lennon ‘gay conversion therapy’?

First off, what are Janov’s core beliefs, and how homophobic was he really?

Ive compiled various extracts from Janov’s book, The Primal Scream, which should provide you with an impression of his fundamental beliefs concerning homosexuality. I have also bolded sections of these extracts that I believe could have resonated with John, further alluring him towards Janov’s pseudoscience.

‘The homosexual act is not a sexual one.It is based on the denial of real sexuality…A truly sexual person is heterosexual. The homosexual has usually eroticised his need so that he appears to be highly sexed. Bereft of his sexual fix, his lover, he is like an addict without his connection; without his lover, he is in the pain that is always there but which is drained off sexually. But sex is not the ultimate goal — love is.’ (pg. 302)

‘If a man makes love to a woman but is totally involved during it with a fantasy about men, I would call the experience homosexual. The motions one goes through are less critical than the internal situation. When a person actually makes love to a member of his own sex, it means he is more totally involved in the symbolic behaviour…He has given up the battle and become more completely what he is not…There are men and women who have homosexual marriages but do not recognise the fact.’ (pg. 302-3)

‘It has been my experience that homosexuality may derive from any number of permutations of family interaction. A homosexual boy can have a weak father, tyrannical father, no father.What matters is that the boy has a need for a loving father…Many homosexuals do not seem to realise what appears so obvious — they are in pursuit of substitutes…What gives the sexual search of the homosexual such intensity is the need to feel loved at last and so to find an end to nagging tension.’ (pg. 303-4)

‘I do not think we are dealing with bisexual so much as with neurosis. So many of us have been deprived of love from both parents that there is often a lingering need for love from either sex.’ (pg. 308)

Additionally, there have been contemporaneous articles written by Janov and other primal therapy doctors, which offer further clarity concerning Janov’s stance on homosexuality. @eppysboys made a post (x) shedding more light on Janov’s beliefs concerning sexuality, so I would encourage you to read through that for further information on this topic. But for the purpose of this essay, I have collected extracts which especially focus on Primal Therapy being used as a means of ‘gay conversion therapy’.

“[Janov] claims that primal therapy has cured alcoholism, homosexuality, smoking…” — Boca Raton News, (June 16. 1971)

“Critical of the decision of the American Psychological Association in 1973 to remove homosexuality as a neurosis in its Diagnostic Statistic Manual, Janov called the decision a “disservice to homosexuals. It tells them that they are well when they are wracked with Pain and tension.” [The Primal Institute Newsletter, October, 1979, pg. 4]” — The Origins of Homosexuality: Insights From The Deep Feeling Psychotherapies by John A. Speyrer

“On occasion homosexuality has been reversed after a person has re-experienced very early and deep pain. Often homosexuality is a symbolic act out of early unmet needs and for that reason there are different scenarios or sequences of events which lead up to the first homosexual act.” — The Origins of Homosexuality: Insights From The Deep Feeling Psychotherapies by John A. Speyrer (c. 2000s)

“So if homosexuality is normal it cannot ever be treated and changed? I have found that not to be true. A few of my homosexual patients do change after many many months of therapy and very deep probing into the brain and the unconscious… If patients could be helped back into their remote history we would see the pain involved into homosexuality…” — On Homosexuality as a Normal Variant of Human Sexuality by Arthur Janov (c. 2012)

“Is homosexuality genetic? We have successfully treated it, which makes the assumption that it is a disease.” — What Is More Important Genes or Epigenes? By Arthur Janov (c. 2015)

“A priest who seduced one of my patients over years left him homosexual. It was the only “love” he ever got and he was seduced by it. That is, all of us get seduced by our need.” — So Why Are We Gay by Arthur Janov (c. 2013)

“Janov declared in a 1971 interview, for instance, that he could fix everything from alcoholism and menstrual cramps to “homosexuality.” It’s a position he does not refute when I ask him about it in an email, claiming that “we have done it” in “restricted circumstances,” before writing, oddly, that “I assume you are gay but do not pay attention to the hyperbole.” — How Primal Scream Therapy Has Survived Five Decades of Strangeness and Controversy by Oliver Hotham (Feb. 22 2016)

Finally, there have been former primal therapy patients who have testified that PST was used as an approach to conversion therapy. These two extracts come from Janov’s writings in The Primal Scream:

‘“Each new sexual contact left me slightly dissatisfied, and I never knew why,” a former homosexual told me. “I thought it was a penis I wanted, the bigger, the better — until I got it. Then I needed more and more. After I felt how much I wanted my father, I knew that it wasn't a penis I wanted. I guess I became a screaming fag because I could never scream for that bastard.”’ (pg. 304)

‘Another patient, whose parents were “dead” inside and completely unfeeling, said, “I know now why I used to be so hung up on blowing guys. I think I was literally trying to suck some life from someone.” What homosexuals, both male and female, seem to agree upon after Primal treatment is that each of their previous homosexual contacts seem to mean “Mommy (or Daddy), love me!” If we can agree that homosexuality in most cases is this need for parental love, we can then say that the aim of homosexuality is heterosexuality.’ (pg. 304)

Sorry, but his reason for blowing guys is SO funny >:)

Janov also details the experience of a lesbian named Elizabeth, and uses her testimony a case-study to present PST as a “cure” for homosexuality. The testimony is pretty long, so I won’t list it here — but if you do want to read it, here is a digital copy ofThe Primal Scream book found on the internet archives; her testimony begins on page 110 (x).

Intrigued by all of this, I reached out to academic and author of the book Debunking Primal Therapy, John Smith. I emailed him, enquiring into whether he knew anything about Janov’s homophobia, and how it was incorporated into his therapies. He told me that throughout the early 2000’s–which was when Smith underwent PST, and subsequently denounced it–no one within the primal community wasreally homophobic, including Janov, although some patients retained the belief that homosexuality could be caused by traumas. By ‘no one was really homophobic’, what Smith was getting at was that by the 2000s, Janov probably would not insist or pressure someone into undergoing conversion therapy—because despite clearly holding onto his homophobic stances from the seventies, his blogposts indicate that he had to accept social change, probably recognising that if he were to come out with blatantly homophobic speech in the 21st century, he would both lose part of his following, and his credibility within the scientific community. Janov’s views clearly are homophobic, but theres definitely an element of him trying to conceal this judgement, dressing it up as pure scientific speculation.

See the full post

238 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

can i personally ask that we talk about this more

264 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

source: Up Front: His Strictly Confidential Autobiography by Victor Spinetti*

This blog supports homoerotically charged friendships 💪

(*Spinetti played the role of the TV director in the film A Hard Days Night)

275 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

…when McCartney met Harrison in New York in January and said, ‘Look, George, I want to get off the Apple label’, Harrison came back with a line that perfectly encapsulates the sadness and venom that had brought the greatest group of all to an end: ‘You'll stay on the fucking label. Hare Krishna.’

— 1971: Never A Dull Moment by David Hepworth (pg. 23-4)

336 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,279 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #throwback to my Janov series which i WILL eventually finish #PROMISE!#have done too much work to not finish it lmao

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papabearbobbynash · 1 year

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I agree that some people have been VERY weird about the couple dying and Buck getting the kid, but there's been a lot of confusion and change in the storyline about whether or not Buck was going to struggle so I don't think it's totally fair to say people are babying Buck and "ignoring" that he made this choice and is fine with it.

It was set up in the show and they said in multiple interviews that he was going to struggle, and the storyline could have been really good and dealt with the spare parts of it all and with him giving himself away to help others at the cost of himself. Who knows what the original plan was now, but the interviews saying Buck is fine with the decision and won't struggle are the complete opposite of what they were back in December, and I think that's why people hate the storyline so much. It's about the fact that it COULD have pushed Buck's arc forward into setting healthy boundaries for himself and instead, since he's not struggling at all and they've treated it like a joke, it's feeling like, what is even the point of this storyline? If there's no drama with Buck's decision, it's gotta come from somewhere and it looks like Connor is struggling now and some BTS look like Kameron maybe in the ambulance so it's all about them instead of character growth for a main character. That's why I'm annoyed with the arc, it's actually nothing about sperm donation at all and entirely about the show fumbling the storyline and then backtracking to just do nothing with it but waste time 🤷‍♀️

Hi again anon (who I suppose to be the same who asked for the link)

I actually mentioned the person was very mad when venting exactly due how they said these people with those theories were simply babying Buck. I believed this would annoy a lot of people who would read, also it's something I don't agree with (in this case).

However I do agree with the whole point about how those theories basically invalidade adoptive parents x bio parents (what is very relevant on Buck's character who's actual family, the one that is looking up for him and loving him, is the found family, not the biological one -excluding maddie-. It's also very relevant to other relationships in the show such as Henren and Denny, Buck and Christopher, Buck and the 118. Essentially on how blood doesn't mean family).

My main anger regarding this storyline was about how to me it didn't make any sense for Buck's character. The post (and some of the comments under) made me actually see how it could serve to Buck's development.

The new eyes I said, weren't entirely positive. I still think the storyline has it's very low points for example how they didn't show us Buck's mentality over his role at all and we had to rely on Oliver to actually believe on it. The way they pulled a comical side of it by making an episode about how Buck didn't cum for weeks, when they could have actually spread awareness over the sperm donation process. How they made the couple so damn antipathetic what is basically making the audience create antipathy over a couple who is trying to have a kid by the sperm donation process. How they wasted the opportunity of relating the decision to Buck's "born for spare parts" trauma, as they could make Buck finally choose to do it rather than others (his bip parents) making that choice for him.

The arc itself is far from being well executed, and people have all the right of being mad about it, because it could have been way better than it was.

Your view of the arc is completely valid, the post only happens to have made me understand how the arc was even a thing the writers thought it would work for Buck as a character, since I couldn't relate it to Buck as a character. Before, I was annoyed because i didn't understood what the arc had to do with Buck, now I see it mostly as possible lost potential even if they manage to end it in a decent note. (what is surely a progress regarding my initial feelings over this arc)

#911 on fox #911 spoilers #evan buckley #answered

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lo-frequency · 3 years

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Hello, how are you?! May I please request Shinsou with a chubby/ plus size Female S/O? I adore that you do plus size content and I love body positivity content as well!! Thank you💗

Hey, I’m doing great, thanks for asking! Can I also add how cool it is to see you on my blog? I’ve read your work before, and from one creator to another, thank you for the love and support and keep doing your thing 💕! Anyways, this post is Long enough w/o this author’s note...I kinda wrote a fic in headcanon form so w/o further ado, please enjoy your request:

-Of course, just like the rest of the characters, he would not place much importance on your body type

-He knows what it’s like to be ostracized for a trait people consider undesirable, so how could he do the same thing to you?

-I think that because Shinsou is so focused on his goals, he probably wouldn’t be actively considering/seeking a relationship, so it would have to be you who showed interest first.

-Like imagine, you’re in the same class and he was so cool you couldn’t help but develop feelings for him, admiring him from afar. During class, your eyes wander to him and sometimes he’ll catch your longing stare.

-The first few times he caught you staring, he figured it was for the same reason everyone else does- you were watching for any signs of villainy, just waiting for him to slip up and prove them right

-But with how flustered you always get when he meets your eyes and how your friends tease you whenever it happens, he begins to suspect it’s something else. Hm, interesting.

-He began to openly stare at you too, to test his theory, and the day you hesitantly smiled back confirmed what he was thinking: you must like him.

-Shinsou turned around in his seat, his subtle smirk hidden behind the hand on his chin. A girl, liking him? It’s not that he thought he was undesirable, quite the contrary actually (y’all keep sleeping on this man 👀), he’s just not used to the attention.

-He thought about what to do, now that he was aware of his little admirer. He didn’t really have any friends at U.A., now all of a sudden there’s someone crushing on him? He glanced back at you again, just quick enough to see your eyes dart from his. Cute. Maybe he could try to get to know you, at least?

-Now, Shinsou is an introvert, but definitely not shy...so when he comes up to your desk one day during break, you nearly choke on your own heart. “Hey,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck, “couldn’t help but notice you staring.” While you tried to stutter out a frantic apology, his lips eased into their usual smirk.

-And your relationship took off from there. Talking in class and eating lunch together progressed to hanging out after school, and eventually you found yourself sitting with him at a park, about to confess your feelings.

-The frustrating thing about Shinsou was that you were certain he knew you liked him, but never acted on it. He was the one that initiated your friendship, but had left everything up to you since then. Acting as if he was oblivious to your real feelings.

-If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be feeling so nervous right now. Shinsou was usually straightforward, so was this a sign he didn’t feel the same way? After all...you were heavier than most of the girls in your class, a fact that always lingered in the back of your mind when you were with him. “Hitoshi…” you started, looking up at him from your place on your shared park bench. Shinsou met your eyes, silent as he watched you fidget with your skirt. His keen purple irises remained neutral as they flickered over your features. You were sure you probably looked as self-conscious as you felt, but there was no going back now.

- “I’m, I’m sure you know this already but I like you.” you let out in a rush, your eyes darting from his as you said it. When he didn’t say anything, you felt the need to keep talking “I’ve liked you since before we met. You’re so smart and cool that I couldn’t believe you came up to talk to me that day. I was so happy,” you say with a short laugh, “and after spending time with you, my feelings only grew...so, d-do you wanna try going out with me, Toshi?” you ask, still picking at your skirt.

-“Yeah, I’d like that,” he replied with a soft smile, “It’s about time you finally asked me.”

-So he did know! But more importantly, “Really? You wouldn’t mind...someone like me?” you gestured to yourself vaguely, too embarrassed to openly ask if he minded your weight.

-Hitoshi squinted at you. “You mean a really hot girl with brains to match? Nah, I don’t think so.” Cue the smirk.

-Well, that sure answered your question.

NOW, onto these relationship headcanons (congrats, you earned these 💀)

-As your boyfriend, Hitoshi would be even more blunt with you than usual, and that includes with his compliments. He’d shamelessly admire your figure, seeing no reason to hold back now that y’all were official. Expect those lidded eyes to drink in those thick thighs, plush waist, and full bosom (in that order) every time you enter or leave a room.

-Eye contact, eye contact until you get flustered and trip over your words, until you feel like the only girl in the world, until you can’t see anything but him.

-He doesn’t make a big deal out of your relationship at school, but does enjoy flaunting how close you two are. Makes a point to do everything with you, it’s you and Shinsou against the world in his mind.

-Speaking of school, I think he’s one of those people who likes it when other people crush on his s/o. Likes it when other people notice exactly how attractive you are, but guess what? You’re all his. He’ll sit back and watch those poor, lovesick saps drool over you and think about how lucky he is. He’ll definitely share his appreciation for you later, too ;)

-Squeezes you tight during hugs, so he can feel all of your softness against him, reveling in your warmth and how comfortable you make him. Has a habit of squeezing your sides during side-hugs, and smiles at the little sound you make.

-Will sometimes throw and arm around your waist as you two walk together, thumb mindlessly caressing your hip

-Loves it when you press against him while y’all are sitting together, something about your warmth and weight against him puts him right to sleep.

-Anyone who has anything to say about you or your relationship is getting their feelings hurt by Toshi. He’d tell you not to dwell on it too much afterwards, but you can tell it bothered him more than it did you by the way he kept randomly grumbling about it on the way home.

-You’re his other half, and anyone who messes with his baby is messing with him, period.

#bnha x chubby reader #bnha x plus size reader #shinsou x chubby reader #chubby reader #x chubby reader #shinsou x reader #mha x chubby reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

i can't forgive me & you can't forget

Summary: Spencer is happy that his boyfriend is as compassionate as he is, but watching Derek do everything he can to help Strauss with her alcoholism when he stood by and did nothing back when he was struggling with his dilaudid addiction is beginning to take its toll.

Tags: hurt!spencer, miscommunication, angst, insecurity, est. rel., hurt/comfort, cuddling & snuggling, angst w a happy ending, fluff TW: referenced past drug use, addiction, and overdose, implied/referenced alcoholism

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 4.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // The other fic in this universe

Inspired by @marisatomay’s post here!!! The title is from the second part of the poem Betrayal by Lang Leav.

It’s pushing ten pm by the time Spencer finally hears the front door open and close with a soft click, hears the rustling of Derek ditching his leather jacket on the crowded coat rack and toeing off his shoes — no doubt placing them neatly at the side of the hall like he always does — and listens to his footsteps as he nears the bedroom where Spencer’s been holed up since Derek left.

“Hey, baby boy,” Derek says with a warm, relaxed smile, his fingers already working on undoing his shirt buttons, before digging through their wardrobe to find a more comfortable top.

“Hey.”

Spencer watches him with tired eyes. He’s been feeling as hurt and despondent as he does this evening for weeks now, but tonight is the first time he doesn’t have the energy to hide it. He’s spent the entire afternoon in bed, and he’s certain it shows in the imprints of the creased pillowcase on his cheek and his messed up hair, and where just a couple of days ago he’d rush to hide those tells, he simply doesn’t care enough anymore.

Derek turns around from the wardrobe and shrugs off his shirt, replacing it with a soft blue t-shirt Spencer’s always liked on him. “Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Spencer shakes his head. Derek undoes his belt and switches his trousers for a pair of grey sweatpants before walking over to the bed and climbing onto the mattress, grinning cheekily as he rolls over Spencer’s body and leans down to press a tender kiss to the tip of his nose.

It’s sweet and romantic and so painfully normal, and maybe that’s exactly why he suddenly finds himself swallowing back tears. He’s hardly spent any time with Derek outside of work in weeks and he’s hurt and sad and struggling, and it’s only making it worse that his loving and attentive boyfriend hasn’t seemed to notice. Really, Spencer knows he needs to communicate, and that a significant part of his pain is his responsibility, but the shame—

“Well that just won’t do,” Derek murmurs, interrupting his thoughts as he brushes his fingers over a lock of curly hair resting on Spencer’s temple. “I’ll go and make you something. Or we can order in? What do you fancy?”

Spencer shrugs, looking away. He’s not trying to be difficult, it’s just incredibly hard to think about food and a relaxing night in with your partner when you feel like your insides are splintering and you’re just barely holding yourself together.

Even without looking directly at his face, Spencer can see Derek’s brow furrow and his happy expression fade, and soon enough Derek’s fingers are at his chin, gently moving his head until he’s looking at him again. “Hey, pretty boy,” he says gently, looking so concerned it makes his chest ache, “what’s wrong? Tell me what’s going on in that big old head of yours.”

So much of him wants to give in and tell him everything, wants to spill his fears and his anxieties and his anger and his shame onto the sheets of their bed and lay it all out for him. He wants to shout, “See? This is who I am! This is all my mess and my pain and my regret! Look at it!”

But he can’t. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again to meet the swirling worry in Derek’s deep, beautiful brown eyes and he wills himself not to cry. “Nothing,” he lies. “I’m just tired. Hungry.”

He knows Derek doesn’t believe him, but there isn’t much he can do if Spencer isn’t willing to communicate, so he nods reluctantly and leans down to place a kiss on his forehead this time, lingering there for a moment longer than he usually does. The feeling of his boyfriend hovering over him and asking him what’s wrong and kissing him so tenderly is all Spencer’s craved for weeks, but now it’s here, he still feels sad and empty and hollowed out by shame and bitterness, desperate for something more without so much as an idea as to what exactly more might entail.

“I tell you what, I’ll go make you some tortellini, alright? There’s a pack in the fridge and it only takes a couple of minutes so I’ll be back before you know it,” Derek promises, and Spencer can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Regardless, Derek hops off the bed and heads out to the kitchen, leaving Spencer alone in the softly lit bedroom. He pulls the duvet further up to his chin and buries his face in it, the soft fabric gentle on his skin, and the comforting scent of Spencer’s shampoo mingling with Derek’s cologne settling him slightly.

Derek had spent the afternoon with Strauss at the rehab centre. And not for the first time.

The problem is, how can Spencer be mad at him for that? Really, it’s the epitome of his character: genuine, constant, unconditional compassion for everyone around him, no matter who they are or what his history with them might be. Of course he’d see Strauss struggling with her addiction and swoop right in, getting her settled in at the centre and spending hours with her on visiting days, fighting alongside Hotch to persuade the director to let her keep her job.

But watching him leave every week, watching him text her encouraging messages, hearing him talk about her progress and recovery… it strikes a nerve deep inside Spencer. He isn’t proud of how he feels. He knows it’s petty and illogical, but he can’t help it.

Because somewhere deep in his soul, an old version of himself, a sad, lonely, scared, addicted-to-dilaudid boy is crying out, why didn’t you do that for me?

It’s that question that really plagues him. They’re called into work the next day for a fairly interesting case in North Dakota, and there are some fairly strong links to the world of academia, so usually, Spencer would be all over it, reeling off facts and statistics and reaching out to his contacts to further the case. But for some reason, he just can’t get his head in the game.

He finds himself zoning out on the jet and wandering off at crime scenes without even knowing where he’s going. Initially, his team had assumed that he was thinking, or was going somewhere deliberately that might help them with the case, they’d all counted on Doctor Reid to come up with some brilliant theory to bring them closer to catching their unsub.

But Hotch had quickly realised that his head was somewhere else and kept him close to his side from then on. At least staying at the police station with Hotch and being tasked with reading through the unsub’s literary work and constructing a geographical profile both gives him something specific to focus on, and — as much as Spencer hates to admit it — keeps him away from Derek.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Hotch asks gently when they both find themselves at the coffee pot in the late afternoon. He doesn’t look over at him, his eyes focused on the stream of coffee and creamer headed straight for his mug. Spencer knows it’s a tactic to make him feel less ambushed and more relaxed, but that doesn’t stop it from working.

“No,” he says honestly.

Hotch nods in acceptance. He puts a warm hand on his shoulder and squeezes briefly. “Well, you know where I am if you change your mind.”

Both JJ and Emily eye him suspiciously throughout the case as well, but no one is more confused and concerned than Derek. Spencer tries not to think about the irony.

“Baby, what’s got you all distracted like this?” Derek asks softly when they’re finally alone in their room that night, full up from the rushed dinner they’d all had in the lobby before crawling to their rooms for a couple of hours’ sleep before the manhunt continues in the morning. “This is so unlike you and you know it.”

Spencer doesn’t reply, just continues quietly changing into his pajamas before brushing his teeth and washing his face. Derek’s still sitting in the same position when he comes out, looking frustrated and contemplative, and Spencer feels guilty for making him feel this way, but he just doesn’t know what to do. He can’t act like everything's okay because it isn’t, and he’s tired himself out from pretending that it was for weeks, now. But he can’t tell him what’s going on either.

The thing is, how is Spencer supposed to admit that he’s still hurt over something that happened almost five years ago now? And how is he supposed to admit that Derek doing the right thing is only reopening wounds he’d tried so hard to heal and close? That both Derek and Hotch had specifically helped him heal and close?

He doesn’t know how to verbalise his feelings without sounding petulant or pathetic, so he doesn’t. He keeps them buried deep inside him and hopes desperately that no one comes digging.

“I’m fine, Derek,” he lies again, leaning down to kiss him gently before rounding the bed and crawling under the covers. “Just having an off day, I guess.”

Derek sighs but doesn’t push any further, clearly knowing a lost cause when he sees one. Instead, he follows in Spencer’s footsteps and gets ready for bed silently, whispering a quiet good night before switching off the lamp and climbing into bed on the other side.

It feels like the expanse of white sheet between them goes on for miles.

It’s the first time Spencer’s regretted Hotch’s decision to continue letting them share a room.

The question continues to plague him over the next week. He gets marginally better at pretending he’s not falling apart at the seams, and it’s enough to make almost everyone back off, but Hotch is still concerned and Derek is still confused, and he can feel himself drifting further away from the team each day, as though his rope tying him to the others has been cut, and now the current is having its way with him.

Nothing much changes. He continues in his hurt and lonely quietude, and Derek continues to ask what’s wrong, sighing sadly when he gets nothing out of him, and they exist in tandem.

It had always felt — ever since the beginning of their relationship — as though their relationship was a salsa dance. They were tangled in one another’s lives, both physically and emotionally, and they existed in this relaxed kind of ease that Spencer’s only ever seen before in long-term relationships. They’d fallen into a lucky, easy kind of love, and it was never as much work as everyone had promised him a relationship would be.

They’ve been together for four years, and their worst fight was over whether the cheese grater went in the cupboard next to the sink or above it. (Granted, it had spiraled into some other disagreements that came along with cohabitation, but. Still.)

Spencer knows he’s introducing a dynamic they’re unused to, and he hates it. Guilt plagues him, mingling with his shame and sadness until he’s drowning under the weight of it, no way to claw himself to the surface to take a breath.

They exist on parallel lines: next to one another; yet never crossing over. Their relationship is no longer a salsa dance.

The next off-day they have, Derek can’t get out the door fast enough. “I’m off to visit Erin,” he tells Spencer, and it still makes him irrationally angry that he’s stopped calling her Strauss and now refers to her like a friend.

Is it better that Strauss is now Derek’s friend? Him helping someone he actually cares about makes him not caring about Spencer all those years again slightly less of a gut-punch, he supposes. But the fact that Derek and Strauss of all people are becoming closer while he and Spencer drift apart hurts in a way he can’t even begin to explain.

This time, he spends the entire day crying. Every time the tears slow down and he catches his breath, another wave of grief and pain and anxiety and shame and jealousy crashes over him, and all of a sudden he can’t breathe again. It’s an exhausting cycle, and by the early afternoon his stomach muscles are aching and his ribs feel bruised.

It’s also the first day he gets a craving.

He’s an addict, right, he’s had periods of intermittent cravings over the years, that’s completely normal. Sometimes, even thinking about it in passing is enough for the itch to come back, to whisper the number of his old dealer in his ear, to recall in both his physical and mental memory the feeling that came with each press of the syringe.

This is the most intense one since his withdrawal immediately after waking up in hospital following his accidental overdose in his parking garage. It’s so intense that it scares him.

Crying harder than he thought it possible, he fumbles for his phone on the nightstand and — fighting the temptation to type in the digits of his dealer — he dials the number he’s had memorised since he was nineteen. He can’t speak through his gut-wrenching sobs, but he knows the sound of him crying this hard will be enough, so he lies in bed and continues his pity party until he hears the front door swing open and the rapid steps through the hall.

Soon enough, Hotch is pulling him into his arms and he finally feels a little less alone.

Hotch lets him cry himself out, and only when his tears have dried up and the hiccups have subsided does he say anything besides the reassuring murmurs he’d spoken into Spencer’s ears as he cried.

“Spencer,” he says — somewhat desperately — “please. You have to tell me what’s going on. Let me help you, okay? Whatever it is, I’m here. I won’t let you suffer on your own anymore, I promise.”

Spencer doesn’t raise his head from its position buried in Hotch’s t-shirt, but he does finally say something. He doesn’t know what overrides the shame that’s kept him quiet — maybe it’s the exhaustion or the loneliness finally winning out — but whatever it is, he’s glad it does.

“I had a craving today,” he whispers, because it seems like a good place to start. “Haven’t been feeling good since, uh. Since… Strauss.”

It’s hopelessly phrased, but it’s the best way he can explain it and Hotch, being the miracle profiler and father figure of Spencer Reid, figures it out instantly.

He feels the way he slumps slightly, hears the tired, frustrated sigh, and knows he’s probably beating himself up for not figuring it out sooner.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just… I couldn’t. I didn’t know how.”

Hotch shushes him. “You don’t need to apologise for that, Spencer, don’t be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry for being so blind, and I am. I hate that you’ve been suffering like this and we’ve all been too stupid to realise why.”

“It still, it still hurts,” he says quietly, sadly, regretfully, “it still hurts that no one helped me until it was almost too late. But everyone dropped everything to help Strauss— I’m sorry, it’s so selfish, I shouldn’t be—”

“Hey, Spence,” Hotch interrupts him, caressing his arm gently. “It isn’t selfish. It’s human. And you’re right, we should have helped you sooner and it’s always been my greatest regret that we didn’t, and that because of that dereliction of duty, we almost lost you.”

“I’m not, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything—”

“Spencer, I know that. But you need to stop feeling guilty for how you feel, alright? It makes complete sense that this is bringing up both the feelings of rejection and betrayal, and also cravings for the drug you were addicted to at the time. It’s so obvious that I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier.”

Spencer nods, but he doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. “Derek’s been visiting Strauss on our days off,” he admits quietly. “I’ve barely seen him for almost a month now, and that— it isn’t helping.”

“I can understand that. Have you talked to him about any of this?” he asks, even though Spencer’s sure Hotch already knows the answer.

He shakes his head.

“I know it’s hard, Spence, I really do, but I think you need to talk to him. Obviously, it would’ve been better if both he and I had figured it out without you having to tell us, but clearly, he isn’t going to realise by himself. I know that as soon as you explain it, he’ll understand completely.”

Spencer sighs. Some part of him had known this was coming, he just didn’t know how it would come about. He wouldn’t have put money on Hotch being involved, but maybe he should have done. He always seems to come to Spencer’s rescue.

“He’ll probably be out for a while. He usually stays out for hours when he goes to visit her.”

“Well, how about I stay until he comes home, and then you can talk to him? How does that sound?”

Spencer looks up at him. “What about Jack?”

“He’s out with a friend and their family anyway,” Hotch reassures him, smiling as he runs a hand down his arm. “Now how about I make you some tea and we go and sit on the sofa?”

Spencer reluctantly agrees and moves from the safety of his bed to the comfort of his sofa, but he has to admit that the light streaming in from the big bay window and the feeling of sitting up makes him feel just a little better straight away. Once Hotch is back and placing a cup of chamomile tea into his hands, he doesn’t feel quite so much like he’s going to burst into tears at any moment.

“I have to ask, Spencer,” Hotch says carefully, “did you buy any dilaudid? Or attempt to contact your dealer?”

“Thought about it,” he admits, not meeting Hotch’s concerned eyes, “but I didn’t.”

Hotch relaxes. “Good. I’m proud of you, you know.”

Spencer looks at him with a hesitant smile that only grows when Hotch beams back.

They spend the afternoon watching nature documentaries — and Spencer admittedly dozes through a lot of them, exhausted from the burden of carrying so much pain around and the physical exertion of crying so hard — until Derek comes home at just gone five thirty.

“Hotch?” he asks, confused, and his voice wakes Spencer up from one of his unintentional naps.

He scrambles to sit upright, going inexplicably red at the thought of what he knows is coming. For some reason, he feels like he’s done something wrong and he’s about to be told off. He hates that this is what his relationship with Derek has come to.

“Hi, Derek,” Hotch says, squeezing Spencer’s ankle and getting up from the sofa. “Spencer asked me to come over earlier” — which is a bit of a stretch when really Spencer sobbed into the phone until Hotch showed up — “and I was just keeping him company until you came home.”

Derek’s eyebrows only furrow further, looking between them, confused. “Right.”

“Spencer,” Hotch says, meeting his eyes, “are you okay if I go now? You’ll tell Derek what we talked about?”

Immediately, Spencer blushes red as Derek’s scrutinising eyes fixate on him, but he nods and smiles weakly at Hotch, following him with his eyes as he lets himself out, if just to avoid meeting Derek’s.

“Pretty boy?” Derek says cautiously, slowly taking off his jacket and approaching the sofa like Spencer’s a wild animal liable to be spooked away at any given moment. He supposes it’s probably quite a good analogy, actually.

Spencer shifts nervously in his seat, moving his legs out of the way to give Derek more room to sit down on the sofa.

“You finally gonna tell me what’s been up with you these last few weeks?” Derek asks, and Spencer isn’t oblivious to the hope in his voice. “I’ve been worried about you, baby.”

Spencer nods and closes his eyes for a moment, taking a couple of deep breaths to compose himself. He’s told one person, and it went fine— it went well, actually. Derek is his life partner, his soulmate, and they tell each other everything. He just needs to start at the beginning. He needs to tell him all of the disclaimers, remind him that he’s not angry at him for doing the right thing or for being the compassionate person he is, he just needs to— He needs to focus, and he needs to tell the truth.

“I called Hotch earlier because I was scared of myself,” he says, finally opening his eyes and looking into Derek’s. “I was having some of the most intense cravings I’ve had since being sober, and I was seriously considering calling my dealer, but I managed to call Hotch instead, and we talked about how I’ve been feeling.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Derek says regretfully, his face melting into the very picture of apologetic as he scoots a bit closer on the sofa so he can grab Spencer’s legs and pull them over his lap.

“I know,” Spencer replies, ignoring for now that him not being here is why they have a problem in the first place. He moves on. “I’ve been… struggling… over the last month or so with feelings that I haven’t really known how to rationalise or explain, and when I finally did make sense of them, I felt that I couldn’t share them with anyone, which is why I’ve been so distant and private. And I’m sorry for that, by the way.”

Derek just smiles, caressing his bare ankle with one hand as he rests his other over his shin.

He pauses for a moment, trying to find the best way to word his thoughts, but before he can think about it too hard, the words come spilling out, unbidden. “I’ve found it hard to reconcile your attentiveness and willingness to throw everything at helping Strauss, and the way no-one helped me with my addiction back in 2007.”

Derek’s face instantly falls, and saying the words out loud brings all the emotions he’d managed to control back again in full force, and suddenly his face is crumpling, too. Derek surges forward, moving them both until he’s situated between the sofa cushions and Spencer, cuddling him as close as he can while Spencer cries into his chest.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” he whispers, voice breaking as he begins to cry as well. “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything then and I’m sorry I didn’t put two and two together to realise why you were struggling so much. I can’t believe I was so oblivious, Spence, oh God.”

They lie there for a long time, crying together as Derek runs his hands through Spencer’s hair and Spencer clings desperately to the fabric of Derek’s t-shirt.

“I was just feeling so distant from you because we weren’t spending as much time together, and I had no idea how to admit that I was feeling hurt about something that happened almost five years ago,” he continues when they’ve both calmed down again, and they’re ready to resume the conversation. “I guess I just felt… ashamed of both my feelings now and being jealous, which is so ridiculous, I had no idea how to tell anyone how I was feeling. And I’m so sorry that my lack of communication affected us so much.”

“Oh, baby,” Derek sighs, leaning in to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips. “You don’t need to be sorry. I’m sorry that I was hurting you when I should’ve known the effect my actions would have. This whole mess is on me for so many reasons.”

“Der, I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Spencer says insistently, urgently, looking at him imploringly. “You’ve apologised enough for what happened back then, and there’s no way we can change what happened. You were just being the same kind and compassionate person you always are when you were helping Strauss.” He reaches out and cups Derek’s face gently, hating the tells of guilt and self-loathing he can see all over it.

Derek sighs and moves Spencer’s hand to his lips so he can kiss his palm. “When I was sitting in that hospital room waiting for you to wake up,” he explains, “I made a promise to myself. I told myself that I would never let anyone down like that again. I was never going to stand back and watch anyone else I knew fall into the same trap you did. So when I realised Strauss had a drinking problem, all I saw was an opportunity to keep that promise.

“The only problem was that I was so wrapped up in doing the right thing in helping her that I wasn’t doing the right thing by you. I should’ve realised all the feelings, physical and emotional, that this would bring up for you, but I didn’t think. I’m so sorry, baby boy, I really am.”

Spencer cuddles back into Derek, burying his face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder and relaxing into the reassuring scent of his person. “I know, Der. I forgive you.”

“How about we order in some Thai for dinner from your favourite restaurant and watch some Doctor Who?” Derek suggests after a couple of minutes of silence. “I think we’re long overdue for some quality time together.”

Spencer smiles at him, feeling so much of the heaviness that’s been weighing him down over the last few weeks lift that he feels almost like he’s floating. “I think that sounds like a plan.”

They set the living room up to be as cosy as possible, lighting the candles Penelope had made for them and using only their soft lamps to light the room, before piling the couch high with blankets and pillows until they’re cuddled together in a little nest.

The evening is spent eating their favourite food and watching their favourite season of Doctor Who, and while Spencer’s still hurting and they still have healing to do, this feels like a damn good start.

“I’m proud of you,” Spencer whispers to Derek late into the night, when they’re close to falling asleep in the comfort of their blanket pile.

Derek turns to him, looking confused. “What do you mean?”

“You made a mistake when you let things get bad with my addiction back in 2007,” Spencer explains, “and when you saw someone headed down the same path, you stopped at nothing to make sure you didn’t make that mistake again. If anything shows me how much you regret not doing anything sooner, it’s your devotion to Strauss’ recovery.”

Derek smiles at him, his eyes a little watery, and holds his chin gently as he leans in to kiss him. “I love you,” he murmurs. “I love you so much.”

Spencer kisses him again before cuddling back into his side. “I know you do, Derek. And I love you, too.”

And really, when it comes down to it, that’s enough.

Ahhh, this was the first fic in forever that actually felt fairly easy to write thank GOD. I loved this concept and writing that good, good angst was so much fun. Plus, we always love a happy ending in this house! Also, a reminder that how other people when you confront them with the way they hurt you or made you feel is not your responsibility.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @lesbiantodds @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @enbyspencer @reidology @transhanniballecter @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @hotchscotchh @marsjareau @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @ropoto @thosecriminalminds @wifeyprentiss @cmily @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @thebipolarbisexualnerd (add yourself to my taglist here!)

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Jurassic period alien interacting with key cultures and historical figures in Middle East & Asia throughout history

@ketchupmaster400 said:

Hello, so my question is for a character I’ve been working on for quite a while but wasn’t sure about a few things. So basically at the beginning of the universe there was this for less being made up of dark matter and dark energy. Long story short it ends up on earth during the Jurassic Period. It has the ability to adapt and assimilate into other life animals except it’s hair is always black and it’s skin is always white and it’s eyes are always red. It lives like this going from animal to animal until it finally becomes human and gains true sentience and self awareness. As a human it lives within the Middle East and Asia wondering around trying to figure out its purpose and meaning. So what I initially wanted to do with it was have small interactions with the dark matter human and other native humans that kinda helped push humanity into the direction it is now. For example, Mehndhi came about when the dark matter human was drawing on their skin because it felt insecure about having such white skin compared to other people. And ancient Indians saw it and thought it was cool so they adopted it and developed it into Mehndi. Minor and small interactions though early history leading to grander events. Like they would be protecting Jerusalem and it’s people agains the Crusaders later on. I also had the idea of the the dark matter human later on interacting with the prophets Jesus Christ and Muhammad. With Jesus they couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice himself even though the people weren’t deserving. And then Jesus taught them that you have to put other before yourself and protecting people is life’s greatest reward. And then with the prophet Muhammad, I had the idea that their interaction was a simple conversation that mirrors the one he had with the angel Jibril, that lead to the principles of Islam. Now with these ideas I understand the great importance of how not to convey Islam and I’ve been doing reasearch, but I am white and I can understand how that may look trying to write about a different religion than my own. So I guess ultimate my question is, is this ok to do? Is it ok to have an alien creature interact with religious people and historical events as important as they were? Like I said I would try to be as accurate and as respectable as possible but I know that Islam can be a touchy subject and the last thing I would want is to disrespect anyone. The main reason I wanted the dark matter being in the Middle East was because I wanted to do something different because so much has been done with European and American stuff I wanted to explore the eastern side of the world because it’s very beau and very rich with so many cultures that I want to try and represent. I’m sorry for the long post but I wanted you guys to fully understand what my idea was. Thank you for your time and hope you stay safe.

Disclaimer:

The consensus from the moderators was that the proposed character and story is disrespectful from multiple cultural perspectives. However, we can’t ignore the reality that this is a commonly deployed trope in many popular science fiction/ thriller narratives. Stories that seek to take religious descriptions of events at face value from an areligious perspective particularly favor this approach. Thus, we have two responses:

Where we explain why we don’t believe this should be attempted.

Where we accept the possibility of our advice being ignored.

1) No - Why You Shouldn’t Do This:

Hi! I’ll give you the short answer first, and then the extended one.

Short answer: no, this is not okay.

Extended answer. I’ll divide it into three parts.

1) Prophet Muhammad as a character:

Almost every aspect of Islam, particularly Allah (and the Qur’an), the Prophet(s) and the companions at the time of Muhammad ﷺ, are strictly kept within the boundaries of real life/reality. I’ll assume this comes from a good place, and I can understand that from one side, but seriously, just avoid it. It is extremely disrespectful and something that is not even up to debate for Muslims to do, let alone for non-Muslims. Using Prophet Muhammad as a character will only bring you problems. There is no issue with mentioning the Prophet during his lifetime when talking about his attributes, personality, sayings or teachings, but in no way, we introduce fictional aspects in a domain that Muslims worked, and still work, hard to keep free from any doubtful event or incident. Let’s call it a closed period: we don’t add anything that was not actually there.

Reiterating then, don’t do this. There is a good reason why Muslims don’t have any pictures of Prophet Muhammad. We know nothing besides what history conveyed from him.

After this being said, there is another factor you missed – Jesus is also an important figure in Islam and his story from the Islamic perspective differs (a lot) from that of the Christian perspective. And given what you said in your ask, you would be taking the Christian narrative of Jesus. If it was okay to use Prophet Muhammad as a character (reminder: it’s not) and you have had your dark matter human interacting with the biblical Jesus, it will result in a complete mess; you would be conflating two religions.

2) Crusaders and Jerusalem:

You said this dark matter human will be defending Jerusalem against the Crusaders. At first, there is really no problem with this. However, ask yourself: is this interaction a result of your character meeting with both Jesus and Prophet Muhammed? If yes, please refer to the previous point. If not, or even if you just want to maintain this part of the story, your dark matter human can interact with the important historical figures of the time. For example, if you want a Muslim in your story, you can use Salah-Ad-Din Al-Ayoubi (Saladin in the latinized version) that took back Jerusalem during the Third Crusade. Particularly, this crusade has plenty of potential characters.

Also, featuring Muslim characters post Prophet Muhammad and his companions’ time, is completely fine, just do a thorough research.

3) Middle Eastern/South Asian settings and Orientalism:

The last point I want to remark is with the setting you chose for your story. Many times, when we explore the SWANA or South Asian regions it’s done through an orientalist lens. Nobody is really safe from falling into orientalism, not even the people from those regions. My suggestion is educating yourself in what orientalism is and how it’s still prevalent in today’s narrative. Research orientalism in entertainment, history... and every other area you can think of. Edward Said coined this term for the first time in history, so he is a good start. There are multiple articles online that touch this subject too. For further information, I defer to middle eastern mods.

- Asmaa

Racism and Pseudo-Archaeology:

A gigantic, unequivocal and absolute no to all of it, lmao.

I will stick to the bit about the proposed origin of mehendi in your WIP, it’s the arc I feel I’m qualified to speak on, Asmaa has pretty much touched upon the religious and orientalism complications.

Let me throw out one more word: pseudoarchaeology. That is, taking the cultural/spiritual/historical legacies of ancient civilizations, primarily when it involves people of colour, and crediting said legacies to be the handiwork of not just your average Outsider/White Saviour but aliens. I’ll need you to think carefully about this: why is it that in so much of media and literature pertaining to the so-called “conspiracy theories” dealing with any kind of extraterrestrial life, it’s always Non-Western civilizations like the Aztec, the ancient Egyptians, the Harappans etc who are targeted? Why is it that the achievements of the non West are so unbelievable that it’s more feasible to construct an idea of non-human, magical beings from another planet who just conveniently swooped in to build our monuments and teach us how to dress and what to believe in? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, it’s because it should: denying the Non-West agency of their own feats is not an innocent exercise in sci-fi worldbuilding, it comes loaded with implications of racial superiority and condescension towards the intellect and prowess of Non-European cultures.

Now, turning to specifics:

Contrary to what Sarah J. Maas might believe- mehendi designs are neither mundane, purely aesthetic tattoos nor can they be co-opted by random Western fantasy characters. While henna has existed as an art form in various cultures, I’m limiting my answer to the Indian context, (specifying since you mention ancient India). Mehendi is considered one of the tenets of the Solah Shringar- sixteen ceremonial adornments for Hindu brides, one for each phase of the moon, as sanctioned by the Vedic texts. The shade of the mehendi is a signifier for the strength of the matrimonial bond: the darker the former, the stronger the latter. Each of the adornments carries significant cosmological/religious symbolism for Hindus. To put it bluntly, when you claim this to be an invention of the aliens, you are basically taking a very sacred cultural and artistic motif of our religion and going “Well actually….extraterrestrials taught them all this.”

In terms of Ayurveda (Traditional holistic South Asian medicine) , mehendi was used for its medicinal properties. It works as a cooling agent on the skin and helps to alleviate stress, particularly for the bride-to-be. Not really nice to think that aliens lent us the secrets of Ayurvedic science (pseudoarchaeology all over again).

I’m just not feeling this arc at all. The closest possible alternative I could see to this is the ancient Indian characters incorporating some specific stylistic motifs in their mehendi in acknowledgement to this entity, in the same vein of characters incorporating motifs of tribute into their armour or house insignia, but even so, I’m not sure how well that would play out. If you do go ahead with this idea, I cannot affirm that it will not receive backlash.

-Mimi

These articles might help:

Pseudoarchaeology and the Racism Behind Ancient Aliens

A History of Indian Henna (this studies mehendi origins mostly with reference to Mughal history)

Solah Shringar

2) Not Yes, But If Ignoring the Above:

I will be the dissenting voice of “Not No, But Here Are The Big Caveats.” Given that there is no way to make the story you want to tell palatable to certain interpretations of Islam and Christianity, here is my advice if the above arguments did not sufficiently deter you.

1. Admiration ≠ Research: It is not enough to just admire cultures for their richness and beauty. You need to actually do the research and learn about them to determine if the story you want to tell is a good fit for the values and principles these cultures prioritize. You need to understand the significance of historical figures and events to understand the issues with attributing the genesis of certain cultural accomplishments to an otherworldly influence. 1.

2. Give Less Offense When Possible and Think Empathetically: You should try to imagine the mindsets of those you will offend and think about to what degree you can soften or ameliorate certain aspects of your plot, the creature’s characteristics, and the creature’s interactions with historical figures to make your narrative more compatible. There is no point pretending that much of areligious science fiction is incompatible with monotheist, particularly non-henotheistic, religious interpretations as well as the cultural items and rituals derived from those religious interpretations. One can’t take “There is no god, just a lonely alien” and make that compatible with “There is god, and only in this particular circumstance.” Thus:

As stated above by Asmaa and Mimi, there is no escaping the reality the story you propose is offensive to some. Expect their outcry to be directed towards you. Can you tolerate that?

Think about how you would feel if someone made a story where key components of your interpretation of reality are singled out as false. How does this make you feel? Are you comfortable doing that to others?

3. Is Pseudoarchaeology Appropriate Here?: Mimi makes a good point about the racial biases of pseudoarchaeology. Pseudoarchaeology is a particular weakness of Western-centric atheist sci-fi. Your proposed story is the equivalent of a vaguely non-descript Maya/Aztec/Egyptian pyramid or Hindu/ Buddhist-esque statue being the source for a Resident Evil bio weapon/ Predator nest/ Assassin’s Creed Isu relic.

Is this how you wish to draw attention to these cultures you admire? While there is no denying their ubiquity in pop-culture, such plots trivialize broad swathes of non-white history and diminish the accomplishments of associated ethnic groups. The series listed above all lean heavily into these tropes either because the authors couldn’t bother to figure out something more creative or because they are intentionally telling a story the audience isn’t supposed to take seriously.*

More importantly, I detect a lot of sincerity in your ask, so I imagine such trivialization runs counter to your expressed desire to depict Eastern cultures in a positive and accurate manner.

4. Freedom to Write ≠ Freedom from Consequence: Once again, as a reminder, it’s not our job to reassure you as to whether or not what you are proposing is ok. Asmaa and Mimi have put a lot of effort into explaining who you will offend and why. We are here to provide context, but the person who bears the ultimate responsibility for how you choose to shape this narrative, particularly if you share this story with a wide audience, is you. Speaking as one writer to another, I personally do not have a strong opinion one way or the other, but I think it is important to be face reality head-on.

- Marika.

* This is likely why the AC series always includes that disclaimer stating the games are a product of a multicultural, inter-religious team and why they undermine Western cultures and Western religious interpretations as often (if not moreso) than those for their non-Western counterparts.

Note: Most WWC asks see ~ 5 hours of work from moderators before they go live. Even then, this ask took an unusually long amount of time in terms of research, emotional labor and discussion. If you found this ask (and others) useful, please consider tipping the moderators (link here), Asmaa (coming eventually) and Mimi (here). I also like money - Marika.

#alien character #historical fiction #science fiction #pseudoarchaeology #Middle-Eastern cultures #South-Asian cultures #Islam #writing with Islam #mehendi #cultural appropriation #areligious perspectives in writing #asks #WWC

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fallinglikemagic · 3 years

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Penny Polendina alludes to Astro Boy - and how this allusion foreshadows Penny’s eventual resurrection

Some of you may remember my first post in which I compared Penny and Astro Boy, with a specific focus on the version of Astro from the 2009 3D animated film (if not, you can read it here, but I'll be repeating everything stated there anyway). In the month or two since I first made that post, more and more parallels have start to pop up, with one of those parallels matching one of our most popular theories and foreshadowing Penny's upcoming resurrection.

In order to write this, I went through and watched the entire film, taking notes as I went. I'm not going to include every single detail that I noticed, only the things that seem the most relevant and can be put together in a single post in a comprehensive manner. Believe me when I say that I've thought about this a lot, and the sheer amount of parallels and connections (and the fact that I'm not the only one to notice these connections) has lead me to believe that this has been done intentionally.

With that being said, I'm only going to focus on the Astro Boy film from 2009 - the Astro Boy franchise is massive, going back to the first manga coming out in 1952 with a few different adaptations and reboots with different versions of the story, and I just don't have the time to go through all of those. As such, I'm going to be focusing on the movie, due to the fact that it has the highest amount of parallels to both Penny specifically, and RWBY as a whole.

So, let's get into this.

Worldbuilding

Metro City and the Surface - Atlas and Mantle

One of the reasons I've decided to focus on the film in particular is due to the nature of the film's setting. Astro Boy (2009) takes place in two locations - Metro City, and the Surface.

According to the opening of the film, Metro City was created when the people who would become the founders of the city noticed the world changing for the worse, and responded by taking part of the land and lifting it into the sky, creating a floating city - the opening voiceover refers to it as "an oasis, a floating paradise". Everybody else is left behind on what is referred to as the Surface, left to fend for themselves while the people of Metro City largely ignore their existence.

The parallels to Atlas and Mantle are crystal clear. Atlas and Metro City are both set up as a beautiful city above the clouds, meant to serve as an inspiration for the rest of the world. In reality, it's a place where the rich and privileged can live in comfort while shunning the poor. Meanwhile, down in Mantle/on the Surface, people are suffering and struggling to get by. Additionally, both 'surface' and 'mantle' are words that are associated with the ground.

The Blue Core (and the Red Core) - Penny's soul and Maiden powers.

Another concept that is (as far as my research shows at least) unique to the film is the Blue Core and the Red Core.

The Blue Core is a small sphere that is filled with pure positive energy, referred to as Blue Core Energy. It was created by Dr. Elefun, made from the fragments of a star that no longer exists - meaning that the Blue Core is all that's left, and cannot be recreated. This is reminiscent of how Pietro has no more aura left to spare, and thus is unable to give any more of his soul to Penny like he did the first time she died. In this allusion, the Blue Core is representative of Penny's soul and the power of the Winter Maiden.

When the Blue Core was created, there was also a byproduct - the Red Core. Essentially, it's the same thing as the Blue Core, but with negative energy instead of positive. If the Blue Core and the Red Core make contact, they both die - this is relevant later.

You could compare the Red Core to Watts’ virus, due to the way that it causes a robot to have red eyes and that it coming into contact with the Blue Core destroys them both.

Character Parallels

Before I get into this properly, I wanna give a quick side note. While Astro matches up to Penny perfectly, things get a little bit messier with the others in that we have a case of characters taking on multiple roles. However, this is far from unheard of in RWBY - let's not forget about how Blake represents both Belle and the Beast, Yang is sometimes the Beast to Blake's Belle, and Adam is an amalgamation of every antagonistic force in Beauty and the Beast. It's far from uncommon for a character to allude to multiple characters from the same allusion, or vice versa, which is what we see with some of the characters in this allusion as well.

Astro - Penny Polendina

Unsurprisingly, Astro himself is our parallel to Penny.

After the death of his son Toby, Dr. Tenma rebuilds his son as a robot, using the Blue Core as his energy source. The Blue Core is stated to be unpredictable, and it's this that makes Astro who he is, what makes him unique from every other robot. As stated earlier, the Blue Core represents Penny's soul (and the Winter Maiden powers that are attached to it). When the Blue Core dies - and Astro dies with it - and Dr. Elefun is asked if he can be rebuilt, the answer is 'no' because the Core was unique and can't be remade - just like Penny's soul.

While Astro appears perfectly human on the surface, he's fitted with as much self-defence technology as Tenma could fit in him. The most iconic of these upgrades (and the only one that's consistent across every single version of Astro throughout the franchise) is the rocket boots. He even flies in a very similar way to Penny - pay attention to the posing, especially with the legs.

When Astro starts making friends with humans on the Surface, he conceals the fact that he's a robot, afraid of what they'll think of him when they learn he's not human. This matches up to Penny initially hiding the fact that she's not human, seeing herself as 'not a real girl'.

Astro has two father figures - Dr. Elefun and Dr. Tenma. Similarly, Penny has two father figures - Pietro and Ironwood.

During the climax of the film, Metro City starts to fall out of the sky and back down to the Surface. This is a parallel to two seperate moments in RWBY. The most obvious one is when Atlas is falling onto Mantle after the Staff of Creation is used. However, I think this scene more closely resembles the scene from Amity in which Amity Tower begins to fall.

When Astro sees that Metro City is falling, he immediately flies in to hold it up, despite the incredible strain it puts on him. This is a direct parallel to how Penny flew in to hold up Amity Tower.

Astro pushes himself to the limit when he holds up Metro City, to the point where the flames from his boots burn so brightly that they turn blue - oh hey, doesn't that look familiar?

Astro also demonstrates self-sacrificial tendencies at a few points in the film. When he's captured in order to have his Blue Core taken out and placed into another robot, he simply accepts it, saying that "I think maybe this is what's supposed to happen...this is my destiny". This becomes a lot more interesting when you remember that the Blue Core is representative of Penny's soul and Maiden powers. Astro giving himself up to President Stone (the film's main antagonist who later ends up in a sort of 'fusion' with the Red Core) so that Stone can use the Blue Core could be a reference to the virus making Penny want to give herself up to Ironwood so that he can use her soul to open the vault - especially if we believe that the Red Core is connected to the virus in some way.

Near the end of the film, in the fight against the fusion of President Stone and a giant robot containing the Red Core (it's a long story, I'll get to it later in the post), Astro makes the decision to sacrifice his own life in order to destroy both the Red Core and the Blue Core, saying “this is what I was created for” and saving the lives of everybody else in the process. I doubt I need to explain how "choosing to die in order to protect other people" relates back to Penny in Volume 8.

At the end of the film, and in the rest of the Astro Boy franchise as a whole, Astro takes it upon himself to be the protector of Metro City (and technically the Surface, but since Metro City has fallen, they're not exactly seperate locations anymore...). 'Robotic guardian of a city who's seen as a hero by the people' - you don't get much more obvious of a connection to the Protector of Mantle than that.

Additional details that may not be intentional but I still noticed anyway;

- Dr. Elefun describes as Astro by saying "That robot had more humanity than most of us". At this point, there's been many moments that affirm Penny's humanity - "You have an aura, Penny. A soul. That's who you are - our friend. Not a machine", "Her soul is who she is", the fact that she was able to receive the Maiden powers, all of these moments affirm that Penny has always been just as human as anybody else. This is also contrasted against Ironwood (and, for a while, Winter), who act more machine than human.

- Astro is actually rather heavily trans-coded. Penny is also trans-coded, but this is mostly likely a coincidence that happened as a result of the inherent transness of robots

- Elefun tells Astro that he's "not actually an entirely ordinary boy", which is reminiscent of Ruby describing Penny as "she's...not your typical girl."

- The shape of Penny's bow (the way that it sticks out more on one side while the other side is more vertical) looks similar to the shape of Astro's hair (this one was pointed out to me by @cosmokyrin when I mentioned this theory in the Frosen Steel server)

Dr. Elefun - Pietro Polendina

Dr. Elefun is one of Metro City's top scientists, and one of Astro's father figures. He is soft-spoken and gentle, a dreamer but a genius. In terms of personality alone, he's a pretty good match with Pietro. He's also the one who created the Blue Core, which draws a direct parallel to Pietro creating Penny's soul from part of his.

Dr. Elefun is the first person to truly see Astro as who he truly is. Dr. Tenma expects Astro to be a replacement for Toby, and is disappointed when he isn't. Similarly, everybody else sees Astro as a robot just like any other at first - an advanced robot, but nothing more than a robot. But Dr. Elefun gives him genuine praise, and encourages Astro to live his life and find his place in the world, just like how Pietro tells Penny that he wants to see her live her life.

It's also worth noting that in most other versions of Astro Boy, Elefun takes the role of Astro's primary caregiver after Dr. Tenma no longer wants him.

President Stone - James Ironwood

President Stone is the current political leader of Metro City. For the entire film, his entire focus is on combat and military strength, and on multiple occasions he actively expresses his intention to start a war with the Surface. He believes that the best way to get re-elected is with a show of military force and violence.

His primary goal throughout the film is to have Astro destroyed in order to retrieve the Blue Core and use it for his own gain. This is a direct parallel to Ironwood's goal in Volume 8 - to hunt down Penny and have her use her Maiden power to open the vault, and destroy herself.

Stone wants to use the Blue Core in order to power a specialised combat robot, ironically called the Peacekeeper. When Astro continues to escape his clutches, he decides to use the Red Core to power the Peacekeeper instead, but it doesn't completely go as planned. The Peacekeeper is equipped with what the film calls 'adaptive technology' - it's capable of absorbing anything it makes contact with into its own body.

And I do mean anything

After Stone is absorbed by the Peacekeeper, he's in full control of it - essentially the Peacekeeper is nothing more than a metal outer shell. President Stone has become a fusion of man and machine.

Dr. Tenma - both Pietro Polendina AND James Ironwood (a bit more Pietro than Ironwood but it's worth acknowledging both)

You might notice that while Elefun and Stone do have plenty of references to Pietro and Ironwood respectively, there are gaps where they don't cover every aspect of these characters and/or their dynamic with Penny. This is where Dr. Tenma comes in.

Dr. Tenma is Astro's dad, and the one who built him. He originally created Astro as a sort of 'replacement' for his biological son Toby after he died, giving Astro all of Toby's memories (more on this later). Naturally, this is a very clear connection to Pietro.

Additionally, Dr. Tenma uses the Blue Core - a completely unique, one-of-a-kind technological marvel - in order to power a single small robot that's intended to be nothing more than a replacement for his son, saying "I can't lose him again!". In this moment, Dr. Tenma is so focused on not losing his child that he doesn't acknowledge the big picture.

However, once Dr. Tenma realises that Astro isn't a perfect replica of Toby, but rather his own person, Tenma discards him, not caring if Astro gets destroyed or not. Similarly, when Penny stopped doing what Ironwood wanted her to do, Ironwood stopped caring about her as anything more than a container for the Maiden powers and is perfectly willing to let her die once the vault is opened.

Luckily, Dr. Tenma does have a change of heart, deciding that while Astro isn't Toby, he's still his son. Near the end of the film, Astro is very injured, and Dr. Tenma encourages him to get far away from the danger. However, Astro refuses to back down, instead choosing to sacrifice his life in order to stop President Stone, despite Dr. Tenma begging him not to go. Here, we have yet another parallel to this moment in Amity.

Bonus (aka characters that aren't perfect allusions, but connections do exist)

When Astro ends up on the Surface, he's taken in by a man who calls himself Hamegg. Hamegg ends up being a jerk, and while his personality and actions in the film don't particularly match up with any characters in RWBY, his backstory is a perfect match to Watts - a head scientist in Metro City who was shunned and fired for reasons unknown (Hamegg claims that they were 'intimated by his ideas and talent', but this was when he was trying to impress Astro and he lies a lot anyway, so this could be a complete lie).

On the Surface, Astro befriends four human kids (Cora, Zane, Sludge and Widget) and their robotic dog, Trashcan. While the personalities don't really match up (though Cora, Astro's closest friend, does bear a visual resemblance to Ruby), the idea of a 4-person group + a dog could be a parallel to Team RWBY and Zwei.

Zog is a very old, very large robot that had been 'dead' for several years until Astro found him and revived him by giving him some of his Blue Core Energy. Zog is our allusion to Winter - Astro giving Zog some of his Blue Core energy is a parallel to Penny giving Winter the Maiden powers. Additionally, in The Final Word, Winter explicitly calls herself a machine. While this does have significance on it's own, it could also be a nod to this allusion. That being said, the main connection between Winter and Zog (and possibly the most important part of this post) is based on events that have yet to happen in RWBY canon, and so I'm saving that part for the end of the post.

Story Parallels

Toby's Death

Toby Tenma, Dr. Tenma's biological son, was very similar to Astro in terms of personality (with some key differences), as well as having a strong physical resemblance.

When the Blue Core and the Red Core were first being shown off to President Stone, Toby was accidentally locked behind a sealed off barrier, trapped with the Peacekeeper containing the Red Core. Toby was killed in a blast that completely disintegrated him, leaving nothing but a hat containing a single strand of hair.

This hair is important, because Dr. Tenma used this hair in order to extract Toby's DNA and memories, which he was then able to implant into Astro in order to make him resemble Toby.

This scene is most likely a parallel to Penny's first death in the Vytal Festival. In her first death, Penny's body was destroyed, but her core remained intact. Her core, which contained all of her memories, was the key piece in properly putting her back together without erasing who she used to be. The strand of hair containing Toby's DNA is representative of Penny's core containing her memories.

Additionally, there's the fact that when Toby was rebuilt as Astro, he was given various upgrades to allow him to better hold his own in a fight, with the most obvious behind the ability to fly via rocket boots. Penny received similar upgrades when she was rebuilt as well.

It's worth acknowledging that Toby's death could potentially parallel the moment that Ambrosius separated Penny from her robotic body, with the strand of hair instead being her soul, separated from her dying body and then disintegrating. However, due to the timeline and order of events, I think that Toby's death is more likely to be a parallel to Penny's first death, and her separation from her robot body is instead a parallel to the next scene I'm about to mention.

Momentary Death

When Astro is captured by President Stone and taken back to Metro City, Dr. Tenma actually does remove the Blue Core from his body, which does cause Astro to temporarily die.

Luckily, it only takes a few moments for Dr. Tenma to change his mind and return the Blue Core to Astro, reviving him.

Astro's 'soul' was removed from his body, causing that robotic body to die, even though in the end Astro does survive it. This is reminiscent of Ambrosius removing Penny's soul from her robotic body, letting that body die, while Penny survives.

Zog

I briefly went over Zog earlier, but I wanna go into more in-depth about him, because the parallels between Winter and Zog and the implications of said parallels are the main reason I ultimately decided to make this post.

As I said earlier, Zog is a very old, broken down robot that nobody has been able to revive in years. When Astro finds him, he brings him back to life by giving him some of his Blue Core Energy. Astro essentially gives Zog some of his lifeforce, a part of his soul.

Winter was on the verge of death at Ironwood's hands, but Penny was able to save her by giving her the Maiden powers, and her soul with them.

However, Zog doesn't keep all of the Blue Core Energy Astro gave him all to himself...

Resurrection

As I've mentioned a few times in this post, Astro does die - and I mean properly die, not a death that lasted 2 minutes at the most and had no consequences. Astro sacrifices himself and his Blue Core dies, all in attempts to protect the people of Metro City/the Surface and his friends. Dr. Elefun says that he can't be rebuilt because his Blue Core, his soul, was unique.

But then, Zog comes around. Zog, who is holding onto what is a part of Astro's soul - the only surviving part of Astro's soul. Zog returns some of the Blue Core Energy to Astro, which brings Astro back to life.

So, to recap: Astro gives a part of his lifeforce, part of his soul, to Zog. When Astro dies, Zog gives some of that soul back to Astro in order to revive him.

If you've been looking at the theories regarding Penny and Winter recently, this will sound VERY familiar. While the specifics vary, the essentials of the most popular theory is that Penny transferred her soul to Winter to hold on to along with the Maiden powers, and that somehow, Winter will return that soul to Penny in one way or another (either by putting her into another robotic body, or just somehow extracting her soul and letting it form it's own body again). The fact that this movie has these exact events occurring makes this seem more and more like the most likely route.

If Penny really is an intentional allusion to Astro Boy - which, based on the sheer length of this post, seems pretty damn likely - then the film practically spells it out for us. Winter will give part of her aura, the part that Penny gave her, in order to bring Penny back to life.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#rwby #penny polendina #rwby v8 #rwby theory #rwby volume 8 #I've spent the past 2 days working on this #but the amount of parallels is insane #there's lots of bits and pieces I left out too #combine this with Pinocchio's three resurrections and the Narnia/Aslan theory and that's three allusions that foreshadow Penny's return #honestly I was just kinda chilling in my room yesterday when suddenly the scene with Zog came to me and I yelled HOLY SHIT out loud-#-because I realised it was the exact same scenario #there's probably some typos here and i could've included more pictures but like...it's 4am #and this thing is like 4000 words

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mochacoffee · 4 years

Photo

I created a 3D model and floor plan of Aziraphale’s bookshop in Good Omens!

I really wanted one for reference and it seemed like many others did too, so I put together my best approximation of where everything is. Beneath the color version, you’ll see I’ve included two simplified, labeled versions of the plan. The verbal labels are so you know what the object is. The numerical labels are there to make it easy to find more information about the object. I’ve put a numbered index below the cut that features the relevant reference images I used for each object and some more information about why I put it where I did/why it’s relevant/etc. I want to be very clear that I did not add anything to this from my own imagination; every single item and feature represents something I actually saw in the shop.

If you have any questions or want more information about this, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask! I put so much time into figuring it out and I would be more than happy to be a resource for anyone who needs it. Also, if you notice any errors, let me know and I’ll update the post. I hope this is helpful!

Update: Here’s a link to an interactive view of the shop! It takes a moment to load. You can click the “3D” tab in the top right to view it in first person and walk around inside. Double click a spot on the floor to move there and pan around by clicking and dragging. The oval symbol next to the person walking gives you a birds-eye view.

Update 2: Here’s a higher quality rendering of the first person perspective! Update 3: I made an alternate first person render here complete with a ceiling, light fixtures, and ambient lighting from outside. This one is optimized for making it seem more like you’re actually there, whereas the previous one is for maximum visibility. This render also has some minor accuracy improvements, which are detailed under the cut in the relevant sections. (The first interactive link with the birds-eye view updates automatically.) Update 4: In case you’re interested in Aziraphale’s books specifically, I’ve made a catalogue of those here.

1. Unknown closet

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There is a door behind Gabriel when he talks to Aziraphale in the backroom. So where does it lead? Well. The wall we can see behind Aziraphale when he encounters Shadwell in the shop (see #17: boxes/storage) doesn’t have a door in it. It’s also facing the wrong direction and it’s in the middle of the southwest wall ⁠— we know this because Aziraphale can see Shadwell in the entrance from there. So the wall behind him at that moment is definitely not the wall of the backroom. We’re left with this door and unaccounted-for corner. The only thing that makes sense to me then is that there’s a closet there between the two spaces. My personal theory is that this closet is “the back” that Aziraphale refers to keeping the Châteauneuf-du-Pape in since I didn’t see any other obvious alcohol storage space in the shop. Update: @n0nb1narydemon has suggested this could be a bathroom for guests or because culturally it’s a room you can use to extricate yourself from situations, which is another possibility! They also asked where I think the doors behind object #20 lead, and I thought it would be good to add here that they might lead to the shop next door or to this unknown room. It’s possible the room actually extends further into the next shop and encompasses the part of the wall where the doors are, but I didn’t have concrete evidence to support that idea so I didn’t include it in the floor plan. Update: I was wrong about the Châteauneuf-du-Pape! In the DVD bookshop tour we learn that the cabinet in the top left corner of the backroom is where Aziraphale keeps his alcohol, including that particular wine. I added a reference photo of Neil pointing it out. Thanks to @fuckyeahgoodomens for bringing the existence of this tour to my attention — ya girl got the special edition blu-ray even though I don’t have a blu-ray player yet so I hadn’t actually seen it. Also, there is a chair right next to this cabinet against the wall which I missed in my initial rendering of the shop but have since added.

2. Part of shop next door (top right)

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This was very tricky to figure out because you can see from the exterior of the shop that there is no wall past the back door, but from the interior there is clearly more space there. BUT in a behind the scenes photo of David during the fire scene, you can see on this back wall that there’s actually a nook with two large entryways, similar to the one that makes up the backroom. From the exterior you can see that the area next to the back door is taken up by the window of the next shop, so I concluded that this little square of space was not part of the bookshop’s interior, but the nook did extend further back than where the shop appears to end from the outside. I had to make one bookshelf more nubby than the others to make this work, but after a LOT of trial and error I decided one nubby bookshelf was the only thing that could explain the apparent architecture of the space. Any floor design that accounted for a bookshelf of the same length as the others just did not make sense on a fundamental level.

3. Part of shop next door (bottom left)

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From the exterior of the shop you can see that this window belongs to the adjacent store, as the wall is a different color. Within the bookshop you can also see when Gabriel and Sandalphon enter the backroom, there’s no window behind them; there’s a sink. So it’s definitely not Aziraphale’s window. The wall of the backroom is also further into the shop’s interior than the wall Aziraphale’s desk sits against, so there’s a corner of space inside that’s unaccounted for. At first I assumed it was plumbing from the sink that had been sealed off or something, but when I realized that’s where the window was on the outside, I figured the space is probably part of the next shop over.

4. Aziraphale’s desk

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This is where Aziraphale sits in the shop like 90% of the time. It’s on the Eastern side of the shop because Aziraphale was the guardian of the Eastern gate in Eden and because production designer Michael Ralph is a goddamn genius (source). Shout out to @posted-omens for this fascinating post analyzing the chariot sculpture on his desk. Update: Fun fact, the ladder behind his desk is actually called a library chair, supposedly designed by Benjamin Franklin. It functions as a ladder but you can also fold it into a chair! Neil mentions this in the DVD extra bookshop tour. I added screen caps of it to the reference photos above since I don’t have a specific section for the ladders!

5. Phone Aziraphale calls Crowley from

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I will be honest with you: I think there’s something a little fucked up about this corner. It is my nemesis. I tried so many things to make it work and I just could not get it exactly right, but what you see in the floor plan is my best guess as to what’s going on. The conundrum is that the spot where Aziraphale stands when he’s on the phone with Crowley is definitely closer to the fence around the staircase than it is in my layout. But the table he’s in front of is also clearly against the outside wall of the backroom, and the stairs being where I’ve put them here is the only thing that made sense based on the reference photos. So there’s some weird spacing issue where there’s a little too much room between the fence around the stairs and this phone. If I were to move the walls to close that gap then there would be way too much space in the backroom and way too little space on the southwest side of the shop, so I think the walls are correct as they are. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. What I can say for certain is that the phone is there and it’s on a table next to a lamp, and the table is definitely against the wall of the backroom and behind the staircase. The distance between these things doesn’t hold up perfectly, but their arrangement does. On another note, this is one of two phones in the shop. The other is on the table next to the cash register (see #9) which Aziraphale picks up when Crowley calls to say they need to talk about Armageddon. I believe this is the same one he uses to call Adam’s house in episode two, only he moves it from the table by the register to the top of a pile of books (which I’m pretty sure were stacked on the circular table between his desk and the sofa). Update: OKAY SO it turns out in the behind-the-scenes bookshop tour on the DVD we get two more teeny tiny glimpses of this corner! I added them to the reference photo album above. It appears I was right about the lamp, phone, and bookshelf being where they are, except that the bookshelf and table are touching. There’s also a ladder propped against the shelf. I’d say it’s possible there are actually two bookshelves here; based on the parallax in the DVD tour, the one next to the phone didn’t appear to be against the wall, but we know there is a bookshelf against that wall because we see it in the show. (P.S. There’s also another chair against that wall which I didn’t see because Aziraphale was standing in front of it, so I added that too.) This leads me to believe there’s one against the wall and another one further from it next to the table. But that’s just my speculation, so I won’t change the actual floor plan unless I find more evidence.

6. Where they’re drinking when Crowley realizes Adam has named the hellhound

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When Aziraphale sits down at this table, the background is of the same space he refers to as the “backroom” when Gabriel and Sandalphon show up. He’s across the table from Crowley, behind whom you can see a bookshelf, the staircase, and the coat rack. The table is half in the backroom half out, since the room has two large entryways in its wall. Update: I realized the wall behind this table actually dips back further! It is a weirdly-shaped wall! But in the DVD special tour of the bookshop Neil walks past it and there’s clearly an area that recesses even further, so I’ve modified that in the interactive floor plan :)

7. Bench of books that start the fire

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When Shadwell leaves the book shop and slams the door, one of the candles knocks over and rolls into a pile of books and other papers (including the Sound of Music lmao). You can see it’s the same bench the customer is standing in front of when he gives Gabriel a weird look after he yells about pornography. (I love this customer so much because they gave me a super HD shot of this particular area.) The poles of the fence around the bench, the staircase behind it, and the smaller shelves beside it holding Terry Pratchett’s books make it clear that the bench is in that spot in the shop and that it’s the place the fire starts.

8. Coat rack with Terry’s hat on it

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Aziraphale hangs his coat here right before Crowley calls him to say they need to talk about Armageddon. Out of focus in the frame you can see the lion sculpture that sits on the fence surrounding the stairs (see #11) and a bookshelf. The camera pans past the shelf and we see him walk past his desk to pick up the phone by the cash register, which puts that shelf right next to his sitting area. We can also see the coat rack in the background when Crowley realizes Adam has named the hellhound. The coat rack has Terry Pratchett’s hat and scarf on it in his honor (source).

9. Antique cash register

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You can see this register in the background when Crowley is on the couch and when Aziraphale invites Gabriel and Sandalphon into the backroom. I know it’s an antique cash register because it’s photographed and referenced directly on page 79 of the Good Omens TV Companion. It’s a typewriter in my floor plan because the website I used (floorplanner.com), who knows why, did not have a 3D model of a cash register from the early 1900s.

10. Back door

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Thank you so much to @fuckyeahgoodomens for this post where they figured all this out!! Wonderful work! You can see this door from the exterior of the shop and its existence is referenced in the Good Omens script book on page 94. It’s also in the background of a behind the scenes shot of Aziraphale pulling away the carpet so he can contact heaven. Behind him in that shot you can see the bust (which moves around a lot - see #19) and a grandfather clock, and in the show from one of the aerial shots you can see that the carpet is pulled west, further confirming the door’s location.

11. Fence around the stairs

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I have concluded that this is a fence to keep customers from going up to the second floor. It looks to be made of golden pillars with wooden shelving atop them. The fence crosses beneath the staircase on one side and the other side ends about where the stair’s railing does. You can see this fence behind Crowley when he realizes Adam has named the hellhound, behind Aziraphale when he calls Crowley to tell him he knows where the antichrist is, and next to the customer who gives Gabriel a look after he yells “PORNOGRAPHY!” It’s also visible in one of the aerial shots of the shop. Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour I noticed the lion sculpture on this fence is not just a lion, but a lion with a woman holding its mane. I think it might also be a lamp? In one of the reference photos, the one that looks down from the second floor, it appears there’s a light in the woman’s other hand. I’d be interested to see if we can track down what this particular sculpture is and what it might mean. Update: @cantdewwrite has suggested here that the light/sculpture could be a replica of one of the bronze statues in the Victoria Memorial, which does look quite similar. I’m fairly certain Aziraphale’s sculpture is of a woman, which would make it the figure in the memorial representing peace.

12. Open book of illustrated story of Adam and Eve

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Shout out to @amuseoffyre for this post where she figured out what this was! Update: I’ve determined that this book is The Gospel in the Old Testament: A series of pictures by Harold Copping. The painting is, naturally, by Harold Copping. It’s called “Adam and Eve after the fall.” Unfortunately this book is out of print and I haven’t been able to track down an ebook or scan of it, so I can’t confirm the text just yet. But based on its premise, I think it’s safe to assume that it’s telling the story of Adam and Eve directly. Aziraphale has a second copy of this book visible on the shelf next to the sofa.

13. Antique computer

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This is the computer Aziraphale does his extremely scrupulous taxes with, as confirmed in this ask that @neil-gaiman answered from @prismatic-bell! It’s an Amstrad, according to the bookshop tour in the DVD extras.

14. Spiral staircase

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These stairs are in many shots of the shop so it was pretty obvious where they were.

15. Sink, teapots, etc.

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You can see this wall right before Gabriel walks into the backroom and behind Aziraphale when he’s drinking with Crowley at the end of episode one. It appears he has two hand towels, a ceramic angel soap dish (aw), some teapots, and a decorated box above it, among other things. On the floor beside the sink is what I believe to be a broom handle, though it could be a mop? Next to that is a bronze statue of an angel atop a small table piled with books. On the other side of the sink is an open book on a stand ⁠— it has a fabric bookmark in it with a crucifix at the end, so I’m assuming it’s a bible. Light reading while you make your tea I guess. Update: Thank you so much to @brightwanderer for pointing out in this post that he has four extra angel wing mugs above the sink as well! I couldn’t figure out what they were! Update: Neil said in this ask that you can see an oven by the sink when Gabriel and Sandalphon walk in. Which you can! It’s real small and there’s a little pot on top of it. I’ve added a screencap of it to the images album for this area. Update: I’m donating my heart and soul to @ack-emma for suggesting in the replies to this ask that the central object above the sink is a samovar!! I had never heard of this so I had absolutely no idea what it was, but I think they hit the nail on the head. Y’all Aziraphale really likes tea.

16. Sculpture

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Thank you @ineffable-endearments, @behold-my-squeees, @srebrnafh, @aethelflaedladyofmercia for contributing to this post about the statue and its potential symbolism! Update: @doctorscienceknowsfandom has added some analysis to the post above suggesting that this is a sculpture of Paris, the figure from Greek mythology. I’m inclined to agree! Update: BINGO! @tifaria has found Aziraphale’s exact statue (confirmed Paris!) in this post. Brilliant work!! This community continues to blow me away. Further discussion about the sculpture’s meaning in the context of the show here — be sure to check the notes for further commentary.

17. Boxes/storage

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These boxes and piles of books can be seen behind Aziraphale when he encounters Shadwell in the shop and behind Crowley while he’s rambling drunkenly about why they should stop Armageddon in episode one. They’re in a nook that goes further back than where the shop appears to end from its exterior (see #2 for more info on that!).

18. Stacks of books

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You can see this stack in one of the aerial shots of Shadwell in the shop. I didn’t include most stacks of books in the floor plan because they’re literally everywhere and I had to manually set how high each book would be from the floor, so putting them in piles got tedious very quickly. But I did include a few notable ones, and this is one of those imo because there’s not much else in that area as far as I can tell.

19. Bust

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This little guy moves around quite a bit, unlike most things in the shop. In some photos/scenes it’s where I put it on the floor plan, but in others it’s closer to the northwestern wall and in this 360 video of the shop it’s right between two of the columns. I chose to put it where I did because it’s there in the scene where Crowley is drunkenly rambling about Armageddon, whereas the other locations I’ve seen it in were from behind the scenes shots and stuff. I’m not sure who the bust is of! It appears to have a little ribbon with a medal around its next though. Update: More speculation about the bust here, courtesy of @aethelflaedladyofmercia! Update: @fuckyeahgoodomens has confirmed in this post that the thing around the bust’s neck is the medal given to Aziraphale by Gabriel in this deleted scene!

20. Divider I think?

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Please for the love of god if you know what this thing is, tell me. My best guess is it’s a room divider because what else looks like that?? But I don’t know why you would put a room divider there. And it still doesn’t look exactly like a divider either. But the decorative element at the top and apparent gap between the metal frame and the red bit leads me to believe it’s not furniture or a box. This mystery object is my second nemesis after the weird corner (#5). Update: @brightwanderer has suggested that it might be an embroidered/tapestry draft screen, which I think makes more sense! Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour I found a very brief image of this item over Neil’s shoulder which I added to the reference photos above. I think by some miracle I was right and it is a divider. It could be a draft screen but at the very least it is shaped like a divider with at least three sections. Wahoo!

21. Record player

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This is the phonograph that’s playing Franz Schubert’s String Quintet in C major (thank you again to @fuckyeahgoodomens for that info) when we first see Aziraphale in the shop. It also plays Queen’s You’re My Best Friend when Crowley runs into the fire.

22. Terry Pratchett’s books

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Another one of the many little Terry easter eggs in the show is this set of his books! @devoursjohnlock made a post highlighting some other specific books you can find in the shop.

23. Chess set

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I saw a post once pointing out this chess set and the implication that Aziraphale and Crowley must play together sometimes, which I thought was a really nice detail to put into the set. But I can’t find the post to credit it! I will update this with a link if I do. Update: Pretty sure this is the post I saw. Thank you to @losyanya for mentioning it :)

24. Circular entryway

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This is one of many circle motifs that production designer Michael Ralph incorporated into the shop. It’s gorgeous. I think there’s actually more room between the archway and the door than I’ve included in this floor plan; Shadwell takes a few steps through it when he runs out of the shop. But I think the fix is just the door being further out from the entryway rather than the entryway being further in. I didn’t want to fuck with the walls to improve this particular area because when I realized the spacing was wrong, I was almost done and would’ve had to manually move each object in the shop over a few inches over. Made more sense to leave the caveat in a footnote. Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour you get a brief glimpse of something on the inside wall of the entryway. I think it’s a wall sconce or something along those lines. There’s one on either side. I added them to the reference album above! I also figured out how to extend the walls to accommodate some more space there without having to move everything else, so I did that. Update: Here’s a link to some meta discussion about the cupid sculpture in front of this entryway!

25. Sofa Crowley sits on when he suggests they could be godfathers

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You can see that the sofa is next to Aziraphale’s desk and the cash register, and also that there’s a bookshelf behind it. From the entrance to the shop you can see two bookshelves on either side of the central circle, so it was pretty clear that the couch was on the other side of one of those shelves.

26. Wall crucifix

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I find it very interesting that Aziraphale has this considering Jesus isn’t a big part of angelic lore or heaven’s general priorities in the show. It would make more sense to me that he has it because it’s another memento of his time with Crowley, sort of like the illustrated story of Adam and Eve by his desk (#12). Also, fun fact, the opposite side of this wall segment is where he put up all his maps and notes about the whereabouts of the Antichrist in episode three.

#good omens #aziraphale's bookshop #good omens reference #floor plan #ref #i hope people see this i posted it at 2am because i was too excited about it to wait until daylight hours #OKAY SO PEOPLE SAW IT THANKS GUYS #check out the tag:#bookshop questions #for follow-up Qs!

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

While a positivity blog is great, posing it in opposition with the "call-out" blog immediately devalues it. The one person who was called out on that account (the original one) was an adult sexualizing teenagers who blocked anyone who tried to tell her that what she was doing was harmful. It makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors.

There's no way to "communicate" with someone who blocks anyone who tries to "call" them "in". a call out is a statement that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and a promise to make the fandom a safer space for teenagers.

I asked very respectfully not to send me follow up questions on this matter. Because this whole "call out" thing had been weighing on my mental health.

But once again, I keep getting dragged into this.

This my response to every ask I've gotten regarding this matter over the last few days. The asks I've been ignoring because it's not my place to give an opinion on this. Or rather, I do not have to. I don't have an obligation to do so.

But here we are.

The very reason I find the call out blog problematic is because of a sentence you said in your ask.

You mentioned that because I find the call out blog problematic and I quote "it makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors."

This is the problem.

The call out is not the problem. It's the way in which they are being called out.

Over the last few days, I've seen tsc blogs, for the lack of a better word, being "investigated". Posts dug from the past, follower lists analysed, screenshots posts and shared in public.

This is not a call out. A call out refers to interpersonal confrontations occurring between individuals on social media. In theory, call-outs should be very simple – someone does something wrong, people tell them, and they avoid doing it again in the future.

Now I understand you mentioned an individual refused to listen. I will not comment on that - since I do not know this individual personally or how they reacted. I do not prefer to talk about people I don't know personally. Neither the people calling them out - or the person being called out.

But what I can tell you is that when you call out someone, it only works when you point out why they are wrong, not what what they are doing is wrong. So, instead of calling someone a pedophile, it is essential to explain how their behaviour impacts you or your peers. It is important to address this issue in the larger fandom, not just by spamming one person's ask box. Because this issue is greater than one blog.

The reason why I don't condone this call out blog is because it is so easily possible to get carried away and overpunish people, turning alleged perpetrators of upsetting acts into victims themselves. The moral high ground people stand on evolves from calling out to public shaming of individuals.

I am requesting this entire fandom to rethink your actions and to reevaluate your choices. All of you.

It breaks my heart that you would say that I support adults who sexualise minors when have spent my whole adult life protecting children from such people. It is literally my job.

I recently saw one of my dearest friends being called "homophobic" because they support Jace - because Jace 'outed' Alec and therefore those who support Jace are also homophobic. It really hurt because I know the struggles my friend had to go through in order to protect themselves from their own homophobic family.

It makes me so sad and yet so angry that you are not aware of the consequences your words have on people.

People who make such claims. You seem to forget that we live in a digital world now. You all seem to forget that we are living through a pandemic. We study online. We work online. We entertain ourselves online.

So when you shame people online so callously, it can affect irreparable damage on their professional lives. It can ruin their mental health. It can impact their families.

While the intention of the callout blog - and those who support it - might be honest, the way in which they are achieving their goal is incredibly harmful for people in this fandom regardless of whether they are guilty or not.

I want to point out that this call out blog achieves nothing. It doesn't root out the pedophilia and sexism that exists on Tumblr - or in the fandom. The call out blog does't achieve anything. I'm sorry. It had to be said. The only thing this blog achieve is spreading a culture of shame, fear and stigma in the tsc fandom.

So, I urge you to rethink your actions and reevaluate your methods.

I do not believe in giving bland advice. So, as someone who works on these issues, allow me to point you in an healthier and more effective decision.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If the goal is "a promise to make the fandom a healthier space for teenagers" then you are doing it wrong. I say this as someone who works on creating healthy spaces for teenagers. It's up to you whether you want to listen to me or not.

But you are going about it wrong. Here is what you can do instead.

1. What we are doing wrong? Currently, you seem to be focusing on the people - not the issue. If you want to make the space feel safe, you need to address the root cause. What differentiates a call-out from bullying is that it shouldn’t be about punishing someone for something they have done, rather it should be about establishing a new pattern of behavior. In other words, when someone calls you out they want you to start showing through your actions that you care about the issue you’ve been called out on. So, show that you care about the issue.

2. How do we show we care? Focus on the teenagers. You are focusing on the wrong group of people. Cancelling out someone or calling out a blog or getting someone to deactivate is not going to make teenagers feel safe. Trust me on this. You need to address the issue to the victims. You need to ASK THEM how they want to be feel safe. While your method might work for you, it might not be what everyone wants. It might not make everyone feel safe. So, talk to your peers. What is it that you can do for your own community? Is it writing an email to CC about this issue in the fandom? Is it addressing it in a larger platform like a magazine or YouTube? Is it reaching to Tumblr and talking to them about doing their job and enforcing the community guidelines efficiently? THIS is how you fix the problem - not by chasing people out when you find them to be problematic.

3. Why are you complicating this? Why can't we just call people out? Because then you will only be addresing the symptoms, not the root cause. I understand that most of you are minors and therefore will not have the same awareness about how the system works or don't ahem access to same resources and opportunities we adults do. But unfortunately, it is our reality. We all live online. We all need to educate ourselves and do better.

I'm sharing an excellent resource here which was developed by UN WOMEN in 2021 to speficially tackle the issue of bullying, disinformation and hate speech experienced by youth - especially young women. It's a free online course that helps you learn this topic better. It even gives you a certificate from the organization.

I am ALL for calling people out as long as you do it the right way. So, if you want to be a warrior on Tumblr, if you want to protect your peers, if you want to create a safe space, you need to learn how to do it the right way. Otherwise, like most social activists, you are doing more bad than good. Your attempts to create a better world only lead to more chaos and pain.

4. I still don't understand. Then here is a simply answer. I hope this helps.

Please make better choices. Be conscious of how your actions online affect people both in digital and offline spaces.

You are allowed to fight for your safety. You are allowed to fight for your rights. But you are not allowed to hurt another person to prove your point. Then your whole initiative becomes counterproductive.

You need to be more aware. You need think more critically.

Finally and most importantly - I once again ask that you do not drag me into this. I am not the president of this fandom. I am not your parent. While it is my job to create awareness and work on online safety, I am not on tumblr to be an activist. This is my safe space. This is my comfort space. This is where I come to take my mind off all the stressful and heartbreaking things I have to work on as an activist. I am here to shit post like most people. I do not have to teach you to be decent or how to be sensible or how to be kind. That is the job of the education system and your family.

I'm sorry those around you have failed you and it has come to this. I only hope you do not fail yourself.

Make better choices.

Love, Dani.

#tsc fandom #tsc #cyber bullying

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