#So I don't run the risk of losing track of stuff--

[imagobin]

Head canons for Zoldyck siblings reactions to sibling reader hinting they will leave the estate one day and then actually leaving and sibling reader was close to them so 🦄🦄

Omg the drama that could come from this fhgkd thank you for your request! Sorry it took a bit :'3 But I really love this, hope you enjoy what I came up with!

🔯Zoldyck Siblings react to you leaving HCs🔯

📍Illumi📍

Illumi's reaction would definitely be the strongest, he loves all his siblings to quite the obsessive level, so if he ever caught you hinting at the mere possibility of leaving he would not like that at all.

Not only because you're a very capable assassin, and losing such a powerful family member wouldn't be good for business, but because he worries of what you'll even do in the outside world. "Why would you want to leave? You have everything you can wish for here... we all care about you, while out there people will just use and betray you. Trust your big brother, it's better if you stay with us."

You do trust him, he always has plenty of good advice to give, but you also want to do your own thing, discover yourself, so you don't let him convince you.

Illumi would start keeping closer attention to you, monitoring your movements so he can catch you if you ever try to leave, and persuade you to change your mind.

But of course, he can't be there constantly to ensure you don't run away from the family, he's got work to do.

You leave while he's on one of his longer missions, and once he comes back and learns you've ran away he is really disappointed, though of course he doesn't show it.

He wonders if he'd be able to bring you back, or if you'll ever come home on your own. He tries calling you over and over, but naturally you don't pick up, you know how Illumi is, you can't risk him finding out where you are, or he'll somehow get there in record time and take you back home.

Predictably, Illumi wants to track you down and get you back, at any cost, you can't just run away like that, it's incredibly immature and will only serve to worry everyone.

---

🎮Milluki🎮

You could be more direct at hinting you wanted to leave when it comes to Milluki. He might be somewhat of a mama's boy, but he knows when to keep his thoughts to himself. He's not really a fan of family drama.

When you asked him if he ever had a desire to explore the outside world and try new things, he'd looked at you as if you were some sort of alien. "Nah, I'm good staying here. I guess if there could be some stuff worth checking out, but I can get everything I'm interested in right here, so I don't really care about it... do you?"

You softly admitted you did wonder what was out there, he shrugged and the topic was swiftly put to the side for something you both cared about, like anime or games.

The day you do decide to run away though, Milluki will finally understand the sense of that question. He can't help but wonder if you would've let him in on your plans if he'd answered in some other way.

He wouldn't have tried to stop you, he doesn't really care about keeping his siblings from doing things, unless he's ordered to by his mom or dad.

He does think about you sometimes, and texts you occasionally, though you don't always reply. He's happy whenever you do, though you never talk of your whereabouts.

Milluki is okay with that, and makes sure nobody finds out you two are still occasionally in touch, which honestly isn't too difficult since the others rarely come into his room anyway.

He COULD track you down in no time, but won't do so unless someone asks him to, and so far, nobody has, since Illumi prefers to do things his way.

---

🪀Killua🪀

You were the one who accidentally got Killua interested in seeing more of what the world had to offer. You didn't mean to, but the way his blue eyes would light up every time you told him about cool places and fun things normal people did made it impossible for you to stop talking about it.

He ended up running away even before you did, and that only motivated you even more to do the same. Hearing about how much fun he was having while hanging around with Gon... made you wish for friends too.

When you finally left the estate yourself, and called Killua to let him know, he was really excited, wondering if you'd run into each other at some point. "Hah! Took you long enough! And to think that you've wanted to get out for longer than I have... I'm glad about it though, I wonder if you'll find some friends too, but they certainly won't be as cool as Gon!"

You do eventually meet up with him, and he's thrilled to see you again, though he's a bit nervous about introducing you to Gon, fearing he might get along better with you.

It all goes sort of well in the end... because you and Gon talked lots about Killua and your respective experiences with him. It made the white haired boy really embarrassed, but he was also glad that Gon didn't have the time to know you better.

You catch up with Killua as well, ask him what he's been up to and such, then he asks you if you've heard from the rest of the family as well, and you shake your head. You haven't talked to anyone else... aside from your occasional exchanges with Milluki.

After a day spent together, you part ways once more; the boys have their own goals and you got yours after all. But you promise each other to definitely keep in touch and to meet up some other time.

---

🧸Alluka🧸

Alluka was forbidden from setting foot in the outside world due to her dangerous powers. She was the one person you would've absolutely loved to tell everything about it to.

Unfortunately, since she was constantly kept under surveillance you couldn't do that. You tried once, and your mother immediately scolded you, saying Alluka couldn't get those sorts of ideas in her mind.

When you ran away, you didn't have time to say goodbye to Alluka, and due to her isolation, nobody even bothered to tell her you'd gone off on your own. She just wondered why you'd stopped coming all of a sudden.

She only learns of you escapade once you meet up with Killua the second time, and see her there with him. She is overjoyed to see you again. "Y-y/n!! I'm so happy to see you again! I was so worried something had happened to you... nobody would tell me where you were... you've been well, right?!"

Alluka hugs you tightly and you apologize for disappearing so abruptly. You assure her you've been well, and that you're very happy to see her with Killua... outside of that cursed room at last.

You spend a calm day together with her and Killua, where she tells you all about the fun places he's been taking her to. You can't help but be proud of Killua for what he's doing, and you're also excited for what the future has in store for Alluka.

Predictably, once it's time for goodbyes again, Alluka begs you to stay with them instead, not wanting to lose you another time. She gets a little pouty about it, until Killua explains to her she can't choose what you do with your life.

She accepts those conditions and asks you to at least call, because she does want to hear lots from you from now on.

---

🪭Kalluto🪭

Kalluto never stayed away from his mother for long, so, much like with Illumi, you'd have to be careful about what you talked with him, knowing that if you said anything weird, he was definitely going to tell Kikyo.

He did catch you looking at a few books that could've given you away, but you always managed to change topics, and with Kalluto being the youngest, he didn't really feel like he had the right to press you for information.

Besides, he had no reason to doubt your loyalty to the family given how close to everyone you were, you even took time out of your day to spend time with him! Something his other siblings didn't really do that often.

That's why when you did leave, it hit him the hardest. While Killua's departure had been tough to handle, given how he'd always wanted to be noticed by him, your departure felt like he'd lost the one sibling who truly saw him. Things felt much lonelier for him without you around, and he couldn't even call you, because he didn't have a phone at the time.

Kalluto eventually joins the Phantom Troupe in hopes of getting strong enough to take both you and Killua back to the family. What he wasn't expecting, however, was meeting you during that process.

You're super happy to see him out and about, but he didn't leave the estate for the same reasons as you did. "Why... did you run away? Were you not happy with us? You made mother really upset... you made me upset... you made me feel lonely."

Hearing Kalluto state how he felt when you left does make you feel a bit guilty. You assure him you still love your family, but you realized you'd never be able to do your own thing if you never left the estate.

He struggles to understand your perspective, and still hopes you'll go back home one day, but he doesn't want to argue with you, so he accepts it. He demands for your phone number, so you two can still keep in touch.

---

[kokomos]

❂ 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟

jessica riley relationship headcanons

+ Always so excited when she gets to see you! Runs up to you and traps you in a bear hug before giving you sloppy kisses on your cheeks.

+ Hates being away from you for long periods of time. She's a bit of a clingy girlfriend meaning she wants a lot of your free time to be spent with one another. Whenever you two are apart she's planning the next time she can see you, she can't help but miss you!

+ Constant physical affection is a must if you're dating her. She loves the reassurance she gets when you touch her. Her favorite is when you wrap an arm around her waist to get real close to her. Adores having your face in the crook of her neck.

+ Definitely treats your lap like her own personal throne; enjoys the feelings of your hands holding onto her hips and thighs.

+ Kind of like a puppy in love; she's quick to blindly follow her heart and it hurts her more often than not.

+ Feels compelled to do anything in her power to make your life easier ie. do the chores she knows you dread.

+ Since before you two even officially started dating, she's given you so many nicknames in passing that you're sure she can't even keep track of the ones assigned to you. Her go-to is the casual babe or baby. She also wouldn't mind if you called her princess every now and again.

+ She's always asking you questions about yourself. It's important to her that the both of you are knowledgeable on the topic of each other. It's something that makes her feel more close to you than anyone else.

  - "If you could do anything, like anything ever, for the rest of your life, what would you wanna do? By the way, you can say me, I wouldn't mind complying with that answer at all."

+ Quick with the comebacks. Be prepared to lose gracefully if you ever get into an argument with her because there's no way she's letting you win.

+ So playful with everyone but the most with you! She tries to live life somewhat lightheartedly believing that's what can bring her the most happiness.

+ Prefers to forgive and forget. Doesn't understand the whole idea of focusing so much energy onto someone in order to get revenge. If the opportunity presents itself that's another thing though!

+ She's an open book once she trusts you and it doesn't take a lot for her to put her trust in someone. Doesn't care about the risks involved with loving and losing someone, she sees it as a necessary part of life.

+ Big gossiper!! Constantly pulling you aside during an event to catch you up real quick on any updates with the drama. Please be enthusiastic/receptive while she's talking to you about this kind of stuff! She means no harm by it and stays positive about the people involved unless they've done something totally heinous.

  - "I need to tell you what I just found out about that girl and her boyfriend. So last weekend, when she was visiting family out of town…"

+ Says she needs your help to do her braids but really she can do them by herself in under five minutes. She'll take any chance she can to feel your fingers in her hair.

+ On days where she's feeling lazy, she makes you do her whole make-up routine. No mercy, she doesn't care if you guys sit there for hours, it needs to be done and it needs to be done right. She shows her gratuity with a shower of compliments and calculated kisses as to not mess up all your hard work.

  - "Oh my god, babe! You're so good at this, I should make you do my make-up every day. Kidding, don't worry."

+ Secretly insecure behind all that confidence. She can become pretty defensive in an argument with you, often lashing out because she feels threatened. What she really needs is reassurance that you're not attacking her, you just want resolution or to talk about the problem at its core.

+ Jess is the type of girlfriend that wants to be treated like a trophy wife… even without the ring.

— ♡☆

a/n: dedicated to the anon who requested :) i hope i did jess some justice!!

[eisforeidolon]

Question: I got to ask Jensen this a few years ago, but you were not there [?] -

Jared: Well that sounded judge-y.

Question: Because Supernatural was on the CW and a regular network, there were standards and practices. How do you think Sam's character or storyline would be changed or been different had it been on, say, HBO?

Jared: That's actually a better question than I think it sounds like. Sorry I wasn't there years ago -

Jensen: What'd I say?

J2: [crack up]

Question: You were onstage with Misha and you both looked puzzled but you went, I'm just trying to say that we're not having sex.

Jensen: That tracks.

Jared: That's the opposite of what I was gonna say -

Question: The entire panel went downhill from there, and I've been blamed for that for years.

Jensen: That also tracks.

Jared: You know what's funny is that I've thought about this, and I wonder what Ackles thinks. We've kind of talked about it here and there over the years, but I - and we talked about this yesterday in the Meet & Greet - I kind of really enjoy that there are guidelines. It's sort of - if you can just do anything? There was a funny interview with -

Jensen: You get The Boys. That's what happens.

Jared: Which is great, but - You kind of have to be more creative within boundaries. That's how I parent, these are the guidelines, these are the rules, this is the box you can't leave, play within it. As opposed to just do anything and everything. And I think you can lose some of the art - and The Boys is amazing. Like The Boys wouldn't work on the CW and -

Jensen: [laughing] No.

Jared: But that's what it is. And, you know, that's what it is. Like, I don't know if, when we come back, I wanna say fuck on a network. But I dunno. It's gonna be a discussion, between he and I - he and me - and among whomever else, but I don't know there's something magical and universal. And, I mean, there were probably a dozen or two dozen children here yesterday that if we're running around naked or saying this that and the other, it might not translate. And hopefully parents wouldn't show that to their kids. Yeah, I don't know. I'm happy, I'm happy with the CW, and also because we have y'all and because of the CW and they let us work through our growing pains, we did fifteen years and I think anywhere else we would have been dead in the water. After Dead in the Water, as a matter of fact.

Jensen: That's right. I think if anything it would be just maybe an elevated gore version of Supernatural. There was a lot of - like I don't think necessarily, y'know, more colorful language or, yknow, more skin or anything like that? I don't think that that would really benefit the story, necessarily. But I think what we could and couldn't show in regards to scare and blood and, y'know, that kinda stuff, we had to temper that. So I think maybe we'd probably elevate that to an extent if we were on a network or a streamer that allowed that to happen, where there weren't standards and practices. But there were - we pushed the envelope. The writers definitely pushed the envelope, like one thing I remember is we couldn't say prick. But we could say dick. So they wrote an entire season with a guy named Dick Roman just so we could hammer that home. And I think that was -

Jared: Wow. We could say hammer as well. [hits forehead on mic repeatedly]

Jensen: That's right. So it's like Jared said, there were ways of trying to push the envelope a bit with staying in the parameters that we had to and those guidelines. And I think as a show that was on a broadcast network we probably took a little bit more of a risk and took some chances, moreso than I think most network shows? And I think that was exciting for us, but I think if there were no parameters and we were able to do just whatever we wanted to, I'm not sure it would be that much different, because I don't know that it would serve the story as well.

Jared: Yeah, if the puzzle has no rules then is it really a puzzle? Y'know? That's a strange question, sorry.

Jensen: [exaggeratedly reacting] What?!

Jared: Have a happy Sunday. I'm saying if someone just gives you a thousand pieces of a puzzle but anything goes anywhere, then who gives a shit? If it's like -

Jensen: What?!

Jared: [exaggeratedly reacts] I love puzzles.

Audience member: We get it!

Jensen: You don't understand! Stop placating him!

Jared: Thank you for your question. Oh, you're still going?

Question: Basically Jensen many years ago you had mentioned at some convention that maybe Dean had had a history of sex work as a child* -

Audience: What.

Jared: You did what?

Jensen: [baffled] Huh?

Question: Someone said it to you, that maybe as a teenager with John being gone a lot, Dean may have resorted to sex work.

Jared: That was probably in jest, if he ever said that, I'm sure it was not a legitimate, like, character backstory.

Jensen: Yeah, no.

Jared: Just speaking for him here, because I think he's a little -

Jensen: [sarcastically] It's too bad we're on a broadcast show, I really think he would have done some teenage sex work. Yikes.

Question: I'm a writer so it sparked ideas -

Jensen: [flatly] Great.

Question: but you know like drug use, other things that maybe you would not mention in the show -

Jared: Thank you for your question.

Jensen: She has a high regard for Dean Winchester, clearly. No, thank you.

Jared: Thank you.

*Someone brought this up as a thing they vaguely remembered a while back here on tumblr and there was a discussion attempting to track down a source. Which eventually only came up with this quote from a 2008 interview [X]

“Dean’s a bit of a pool shark and also a bit of a gambler. It doesn’t really show it all the time, but it’s definitely implied that there are poker games and pool matches that they can win some money on. And who knows? Dean’s a promiscuous kind of guy. Who knows how he drums up the funds that they use?”

Which seems more than a little facetious, and while suggestive? Is not equivalent to what fandom wanted to remember it as. Putting aside how weird it is to ask about an off-the-cuff remark from fifteen fucking years ago even with a source? She's clearly repeating the source-less fandom rumor since she claims it was at "some convention" - because as we all know, fandom is always both accurate and honest about things like that! Even putting all of that aside, which we really shouldn't? It's such a questionable topic to bring up in a convention hall full of people, to J2 who have made it clear several times they want to talk about canon not fanfic. Who literally just finished answering your first question by saying they weren't interested in making the canon any more salacious! Just ... woof.

[fishermanshook]

Bonjour Bonsoir

May I request headcanons for Andrew Kreiss where he has to protect the person he has feelings for in a match ? Like all fluffy and stuff !

Thanks !

Of course I can do that for you!

You first, Your Body Second. (grave keeper x gn!reader)

Roxman_ on Pinterest

I've been writing for idek how long now and I still f up grammar and spelling. Warning as always.

What is love? And what lengths would you go to protect the ones you do?

But you don't have to worry about that. Not when you've got the Gravekeeper to protect you from the dangers that present themselves in every match you play in.

He'll keep you safe, always and forever.

-

The Grave Keeper has only felt so much love in his life, which really only amounts to a couple specs of sand. He can't wrap his head around the concept of it all-let alone the feeling of it.

Out of all places to fall head over heels in, he had to in this hell hole? Nobody expects it, and it's surely a surprise to all who welcome the feeling.

Which is something that Andrew doesn't do at first. The poor boy doesn't think he is anywhere near deserving of all the love and attention you give him.

Andrew hasn't differentiated the difference between being generally kind to going out of your way to do something for someone who's developed a crush. He knows what he feels, but can't figure out if your trying to tell him you reciprocate these undying feelings.

He's new to love, having been void of it for almost all his life he's forced to take baby steps. But for you? It'll be worth it.

-

Your one and only game today is a regular match, thank gosh.

None the less, you find yourself chatting it up with the Grave Keeper. The others cannot fathom the fact that you seem to be the only one in the manor who could keep up a regular conversation with the man. But to the two of you, this is just another chat.

It was weird y'know, how quickly the two of you seemed to click. Out of all the Survivors, you find him the easiest to talk to. It's so easy to find tranquility in each other's presence that you lose track of time. (You and Andrew may or may not have accidentally been late to a couple matches because of this.)

The Grave Keeper has told you more about his life than he's told anyone else. You've excepted him for who he is, scars and all.

It's more than enough for the man to catch feelings.

He isn't entirely sure how to show it though, but maybe this match will be the perfect time to demonstrate it.

-

"Two ciphers left!" The Priestess shouts into her radio which allows the rest of the team to know to keep up the pace. She's stuck having to take over the kiting while she bides time for the Doctor to self heal herself, which shouldn't take long.

You're halfway through decoding your cipher before you hear the sound of teleporting, you're soon greeted with the sly smile that belongs to no one but "Fool's Gold". Seems the hunters changed targets.

"Shit," you mutter into the radio as you quickly throw down a pallet, almost risking a hit. "Hunter's here, continue decoding at all costs!"

For the rest of the decoding period, you weave your way through pallets and windows. Unfortunately, you take a hit which leaves blood pouring from your back and you in excruciatingly pain.

In the distance, you see a blurry figure with hair white as snow running towards you.

"Fuck, Andrew? Andre you've got to get out of here-"

Your voice is cut off by Andrew picking you up and slinging you over his shoulder.

"Wait are you seriously going to kite with me on your shoulder?"

"Of course not, I'd never risk you getting more hurt than you already are now. Just hold in there, I won't let you get hurt again, I promise." Andrew says as he makes a mad dash across the map. You soon see a glowing blue and black portal.

"Go now, I'll take over the kiting."

"Andrew no I can't let you do tha-" Your voice is silenced (again...) from Andrews lips on yours.

Does it catch you off guard? Yes. But you soon lean into the quick peck, rapping your arms around his neck.

"Mh, Darling I'd love to continue but I'd rather you be safe okay?" With another quick peck on the lips, the Grave Keeper helps you through the portal, which is quickly destroyed by "Fool's Gold's" pickaxe.

"I'll see you soon, my love."

-

The whole match seemed to have been an entire blur. Even while you got bandaged up and the entire team was able to get out you still can't comprehend what just happened moments earlier.

I guess that confirms my suspensions then... You say to yourself as you make your way back to your dorm room. Only to be stopped when you feel a strong hand grip your shoulder, turning you around.

"H-hey, um, how are you?" Andrew stutters and stumbles over his words, obviously worried about the move he pulled on you earlier.

"Hi Andrew. I'm doing more than okay, how are you feeling?" You ask him with a smile tugging on your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels.

"I'm d-doing okay, uh, so-" You cut off Andrew with a kiss to the lips. Honestly you've been waiting too long to do this.

He leans into the kiss, putting his hands on your hips and you rest your arms around his neck. The kiss is slow but passionate and secretly sends him over the edge with happiness.

He promised to protect you, and for the first time in your life, you know you can count on it.

note: No, I am not an Andrew fan. No, I do not know why I made this fic so long. Yes this does suck ass but you still read it so (THIS IS SO OOC IM SORRY) (This is so ass what the heck)

©️2023 fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

[batsplat]

in a way valentino did himself a big disservice by undermining sete as a rider and a rival. like he pretty much erased that rivalry from his narrative and sete is now (mostly?) remembered as that one bloke that vale overtook in the last corner at jerez. like come onnn valentino now ppl think you raced against some very mid guys 😭. but that rivalry was great actually! love watching their on track battles. also it’s such a great foreshadowing for vale/marc and the marc/dovi parallels…….valentino was really doing thee most in terms of interesting feuds and narratives, always years ahead.

sadly the same anon so there are still only the 3 of us.

complete agree on everything in this ask. thanks anon it's fine if it's still just three of us. the growth will be organic I #believe. anyhow I find it funny he does this shit but it also drives me a little crazy. like... it's so obviously not self-serving... and gives you a real insight into his priorities. you see this stuff all the time... ah, sete was mid, valentino didn't rate sete (or biaggi) at all, it was such an easy rivalry for valentino which proves he competed in a weak era... terrible pr move, you'd think! such a fantastic on-track rivalry! why wouldn't you stand by it! and even if he did truly think sete was an unworthy rival, it would still be in his interest to give that man a little hype. you would genuinely be forgiven for thinking the 2004 title was basically wrapped up after welkom, which!! my man!! that's literally your best season, what are you doing!! istg you are making it HARDER to get people into what is straight up the best era racing-wise in modern motogp because half the fandom saw one clip of you calling sete mid and have based all their opinions on that. work with me you twat!!

it's also just so obviously not true. how valentino behaved over the course of that rivalry is not what you would do against someone you don't see as a serious threat. the massive reaction after sachsenring 2003, everything about that early 2004 trio of races (especially the last lap of assen), everything about his reaction to qatar, the targeted cruelty of the sepang celebrations, taking all those risks at phillip island, his panic at the idea of losing in 2005 at jerez, the ferocious determination with which he set about preventing sete from winning again for the rest of that year... sure, some of that is personal animosity post-qatar, but it's personal animosity that was in large part because valentino was spooked by sete. this was the guy who dented valentino's impeccable reputation in one-on-one duels, who actually managed to make him bleed when valentino wasn't expecting it - the first time somebody had managed to do it with anything approaching regularity at a bit of the season where it still mattered for the championship (though shout out to barros for motegi/valencia 2002). genuinely the first time it felt like somebody had valentino handled in direct duels since, y'know, 1998 harada when vale was a teenager. valentino may have fought for the title with biaggi in 2001, but in actual duels it was very one-sided. there's a pretty decent argument that sachsenring 2003 is the single wheel-to-wheel defeat that stung the most until phillip island 2015? like that fucked with him! it prompted a bigger reaction from him than any individual defeat inflicted by casey or jorge! (not that valentino ever really lost duels against jorge but that's a conversation for another day.) he was determined to NEVER fuck it again like he did at the sachsenring! he did this whole reclaiming the spirit of his teens at brno! he AGREED TO SIGN FOR YAMAHA! this was SUCH a massive turning point

he was struggling!! he was seething!! he's exceptionally good at not being a sore loser on a race to race level (always been more of an 'attack from a position of strength' type by disposition) but this is. genuinely. as close as you can run him this decade. maybe assen 2001 is the other one where the mask does slip a little. but apart from that

which objectively makes for a better rivalry! sete being that good bothered valentino, he really hated losing to him even before they were enemies! and the thing is, right, valentino is aware that great rivalries make great stories - that his opponents being strong makes him look stronger by reflected glory. he knows this! it's an own goal that he's just rolling with this tactic! it's so personal he's gonna take the reputational hit! it's night and day when you compare it with, say, the casey rivalry. basically the biggest most obvious tells valentino actually harbours personal animosity towards someone is if he a) blanks them, like just straight up ignores them unless he absolutely has to, and b) starts fucking around with his career narrative where he excludes them from his story in some way, even if at times it's to his own detriment. it's quite straightforward! that's why the moment you cut away all the noise, you can tell he never really had anything against casey - complete competitive happenstance, casey was just there. (you can also tell this how you'd be hard pressed to find anything particularly mean-spirited valentino has said about casey after, like, mid-2013, but that almost feels too simple.) valentino loves to yap and valentino loves to tell fun stories about his career. if he's not yapping with some bloke and he's not including them in his stories, you know it's something special

anyway obviously the fact that sete doesn't get rated also means a lot of people do miss the pretty glaring dovi parallels lol. like they're right there. here just again for reference:

sete never quite got valentino to a title decider, but 2004 is basically almost as close as 2017 and then 2003 is more of a title challenge than either 2018 or 2019, though 2005 isn't one at all... point is, these are broadly similar levels of threat vale and marc face at literally the same age. sete and valentino were closer on a personal level than marc and dovi ever were, but apart from that you've got two rivalries that immediately stand out because of how much more 'respectful' they were than what directly preceded it. I supposed marc does better pr for that rivalry because he doesn't dislike dovi and because it also did him a world of good to be able to point to a more 'respectful' rivalry in his resume, as a kind of 'oh look I can do that too, I'm not the problem' type thing. vale was very image conscious in the sete rivalry, but more in a 'oh I can use how image conscious the other guy is to suffocate him'. and I reckon that's one of the biggest differences between the two rivalries... because losing to sete was a real reputational hit for valentino, like that was a net negative, got the italian press calling him washed and all that shit. whereas marc and dovi... I honestly cannot recall people giving him too much grief for all the last lap duels he was losing? which is odd, in a way, but meant that broadly having dovi around was a good thing because it was almost like a built-in way of making those dominance years watchable. adds a little spice if there's always the threat marc might at least lose a last lap battle, even if unfortunately that might be the only competitive tension you're getting that season. for marc, just having the dovi battles was beneficial. for valentino, the only way he could benefit from the sete battles was by winning them

[schizochasm]

I went to the store.

My mom sent me 100sek less than she said. So I had to cut some stuff and accept that I'll not have money for the rest of the week.

I still got 2 6packs though. Cause if I hadn't I would've been even worse off.

I was supposed to start watching SVU while waiting for the bus, but my friend called. They were very upset, but at least it saved me from watching it.

Rant about him and my life

TW: (sc1de talk, abuser, hopelessness, and just horrific shit tbh. Proceed at your own risk.)

Once I got home I smoked 2 ciggies in the bathroom venting at him. About how I don't even care anymore and if I had the money I wouldn't talk to anyone anymore. And just let go of what I "need to do" to keep my life together. Just isolate and go back to being g drunk 24/7. Cause I just don't care anymore.

And I told him how I feel about him. How much I hate him etc. even though I know he knows. He's in my head. He knows all of what I think and feel. More than I do sometimes.

I just needed it said.

That's when I made my last post.

After that it was time to watch fucking SVU.

And I'm not even through episode 1 and already hate him for it. And myself.

I can't. I can't cope.

I hate myself for getting this way. For being sick. For being schizophrenic.

And for not listening to him when I should've.

I hate him for ruining my entire life ever since I first met him. Especially after I got sicker years ago and he came back.

But everyone keeps saying he's technically me. He's part of me. He's from my brain.

But he may be from my brain. But he's not me. Fuck that. He's not me. He's nothing like me and he's just horrific terrible scum.

Yet I can barely muster being mad at him anymore.

It's been years. Years.

I'm more submitted, broken, and scared than angry.

That anger, fight, and animosity... It's almost all gone...

He broke me long ago.

And it only got worse over time.

I'm not even one cohesive identity anymore. Not to me.

I'm broken.

And people with abusers that "are real" can escape. There's hope. Somewhere in there you might escape. It might end one day.

But me with my "not real" abuser doesn't get that. For about 2 years I held on to hope.

"One day it'll all get better." And similar. I heard it so much I believed it deep down. That one day maybe it'll all end.

One day he'll stop. He'll go away again and I can start healing and making a life.

I don't have hope anymore.

Not anymore.

It's been at Least 2.5y.

At Least.

I suck at keeping track.

You break.

You fold.

You lose hope.

I can't run. He's in my head.

I can't go to the cops or a shelter. He's in my head.

The meds aren't enough to make it stop. (Maybe if I had a decent dr it could've worked.)

Therapy can't help me cause I'm Currently being controlled and abused, in every category of abuse.

I wish I were dead.

I wish I could k1ll myself.

But my younger brother died 2 years ago.

And since then I don't have it in me to k1ll myself.

Can't do that to my mom and brother. They can't lose us both.

So I'm stuck living.

In a hell scape that people want to just brush off and ignore. Cause to them it's not real. To them it doesn't matter.

It's real to me.

I experience it as if it were real.

But they don't treat me like that's what I'm dealing with.

And I can't even tell them outright myself.

Cause he won't allow me to talk about it. They know. More or less depending on who. But they don't treat it like that's the case. And they never will.

Cause they can't see the scars, rope burns, rashes, cuts, brandings...

They can't see him. Hey can't hear him.

It's not real to them.

It's not the same to them as if it were in shared reality.

I just wanna die.

I just want out.

I don't have a life to hold onto.

I'm just doing it cause I Have to.

Sorry for the rant....

I just....

I wish I could kms...

Maybe one day I'll mercy k1ll myself ...

Maybe one day....,

[silvershayde]

Sharing cus tbh I feel lonely rn and I'm very confused? Feeling s bit uninspired

So today (last day of classes before mid term break) I had an eye appointment and they said my eyes produce less tears, Haven't read up on it but they also mentioned technology and how it causes headaches

I'm almost done with school so I actually have soooooooo much free time sans the studying I gotta do, but I also wanne reduce my technology usage cus I have a crippling dependency ever since I had to revise my other hobbies to not get out of track with classes, but just thinking of picking up those hobbies again feels daunting and like, I won't be able to feel the love I had for them which makes me sad :(

I already crochet and have books to draw in, but writing for fic has always been online cus it's just easier to save and preserve my writing that way (plus more secure in my case) than to write ideas in a book and run the risk of them getting lost. But I really wanna cut down tech usage so instead of just writing out the plot in full I'll use paper and pen to write out the outline of my story plots and then make notes of the misadventures or side quests the characters go through and the characteristics of the characters

Honestly, I'm talking about this to someone else cus I kinda want an alternative perspective? I realised that school has made me so dependent on someone telling me what to do and I hate it, so I wanna try and practice independence more, especially planning how I wanna do my hobbies

okay, so as someone who has written stories both online and physically in a book, i was more productive writing it down on paper. sadly i did lose the book, but that was more because i did move around quite a bit when i was younger and it was hectic and not because of negligence on my part (then again i am also known for losing things but usually i eventually find them. and i actually don't know if i would read it back or not i was like 12 when i wrote it lolol)

I don't know too much about less tears can do to your eyes other than your more prone to have irritation and straight up scratches on the eyeball (i know this because my optician told me i had this but then didn't tell me what to do about it - still haven't done anything about it but i know eyedrops help)

honestly do what you truly think is best for you. if you're struggling with what to choose i suggest doing a pros and cons list and put em side by side. that's what i do when i'm truly indecisive and other's opinions don't really help. but! i will say that even if indecisive and asking others opinions, usually you lowkey know deep down what you wanna do and all it takes is someone else's thought process to know if you would fully go for it.

if you wanna cut down tech usage, instead of going cold turkey and making it harder for yourself, use night shift/night light (or whatever is your device/phone's equivalent) so you can reduce blue light at night. I know that androids have this black and white thing that gets enabled at a time for you. ALSO!! i cannot stress this, disable notifications. You'd be surprised about how much less you'd go on apps and stuff when notifs be off. But this is all the stuff that's worked for me personally, you can try these out to see if they work.

eye strain is a very real thing. technology/screens/whatever are usually what causes this and even looking away from a screen and doing something else can make it worse if it gets that bad. when you start to get that annoying thing at the back of your eyes or you feel a light ache around your eyes, know your slowly starting to experience eye strain and you need to relax them. having dry eyes i think make it worse because of the scratching/irritation it can cause and because if your eyes are dry enough, your ability to BLINK would start to get affected. and that's just a long day

about your other hobbies, i get it feeling daunting if you havent dabbled in a while, i feel it whenever i get back to drawing after a long while. all i can say to that is slowly ease yourself back into doing it. start small, because if you go in acting as if there has been no time between the last time you've participated in your hobbies, you could start being overly harsh on yourself if it isn't going as smooth as you wanted. but trying it out, is better than not at all. and it'd help reduce screen time

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

How have they kept Odalia from catching on that they’re friends? Also, have you considered doing omakes for this AU of moments like this that don’t fit well in the main story? No pressure or anything, just curious.

Well things are better between Amity and the twins to start off, and their help makes a fair amount of difference.

In cannon the strain in their relationship seemed to stem from the pressure Amity was feeling causing her to resent that they can get away with their pranks and stuff, her trying to get them in trouble for once, them retaliating against her, her telling on them for their retaliation, and rinse and repeat with their parents either not noticing or not caring about that cycle.

But since Amity has a reason to rebel as well, she's less invested in actually keeping to Odalia's standards, and doesn't want to try and expose how Ed and Em aren't living up to them.

Ed and Em were thrilled to learn their little Mittens was sneaking around behind Odalias back, passing notes to Luz through library books, volunteering to tutor Willow after school back before she transferred to the Plant track, and have been very willing to help Amity sneak around Odalia, and she helps them as well.

Another, rather surprising...ally isn't the right word for Boscha, but she does actually help cover for Amity, even though she kind of hates her guts (feelings mutual).

I'm going to be expanding on the world building a bit in HS au, and something I'm going to be doing is showing how magic isn't meant to be neatly compartmentalized into nine different categories. Magic is supposed to be Wild.

I mentioned in DoaF that Luz has a lot of classes that overlap with Willow and Amity, but only has a general class (like history or math) with Gus, and that's bc Abominations and Potions have a lot of overlap, as do Plants and Potions.

Boschas parents in HS run a Potions company that makes different types of serums made specifically to be used on Abominations, to help Abominationists get their goo to the right consistency or texture or level of stability that they need for their job or whatever it is they need to do.

Their company is partnered with Blight Industries as a supplier for these very useful serums, and since their company is a fair bit smaller than the Blights, Boschas parents are super insistent that she maintain a good relationship with Amity so they don't risk losing that contract.

So even though Boscha would rather give up Grudgby forever than help the S1-Hexsquad, she and Amity actually have to work together to trick their parents into thinking they're still best friends. So they'll help cover for each other out of self preservation.

All that plus Eda applying the skills learned after decades of being a career criminal to help means Odalia is currently none the wiser, and is more invested in chasing Amity around with a bottle of hair dye than in who she's hanging out with at school.

And I actually have been considering posting outtakes and scrapped ideas for HS au and DoaF! Bc I have quite a few of them already, including a version of Eda finding the kids from Eda's perspective instead of Luz's I wrote when I was writing Chap 2.

Since I'm still hammering things out for later down the line (I have an overall plan with a few major plot beats I'm settled on, and ideas for how everything else is gonna go, but I only have up through the S1 events and a little into S2 of HS au concretely planned out) I'm going to hold off on posting any of those until I get things settled a bit more, since I don't want to put something out as a scrapped idea, only for me to get a new idea that means I can incorporate that scrapped idea, but now I've spoiled it and told everyone I'm not using it.

[rubythecrimsonwriter]

!!!!! I am so excited that we will get to see the story in some form eventually! ATC is one of my favorites because there has never been much like it, with all the cousins meeting early and just being ✨them✨ together and watching the chaos around them unfold so the idea that we get to see more of that someday is so aaaaaa<3!!!!! The rewrite outline looks so cool, also like it’s gonna be more canon compliant/ see how much can be changed behind the scenes w/o really effecting the main story and that’s always such a cool premise in a fic and I am So Excited, despite how different it’s going to be from original ATC.

Have an amazing day/night/timezone:)

For the first one, at least, I'm going to be focusing more on Thalia, Luke, and Jason during the first half. I actually really like Jason, which is uhh a controversial opinion, and the only reason why I think more people didn't like him was because we didn't get a five part series exploring his adventures first. We have a list of the notable stuff he's done canonically, at the end of TLH, and I think that'd be really fun to explore with Thalia and Luke quietly losing their minds lol.

I'd love to involve Percy more in the first part, but Sally went to extreme lengths to keep Percy with her and I don't think she'd give him up very easily. Canonically? It took a Fury, the Fates, and the Minotaur to separate them for the summer, and nothing less would do it again, not even some well meaning teens that have combat experience.

I'm toying with the idea to do away with Camp Half Blood's magical border entirely. Replacing Thalia's sacrifice with Clarisse seems a bit cheap to me, honestly, and when I first did it I wasn't sure what else to do--but it would give them an excuse to say, "no thank you," to staying at Camp. The border had been there for only five years prior to Percy arriving, probably less. Most of the older demigods probably remember the days before Thalia's sacrifice, canonically, and that's why there was quiet but mass panic about Thalia's tree dying in SoM.

The first part is the one that will stay the closest to canon. The farther we get into the story, the more it will diverge.

The Golden Fleece has already shown that it's a massive power source, enough that Thalia could part from the tree and still have the magical borders there. I'm kind of idly wondering if I should establish the borders during the rewrite of SoM, and what would motivate anyone to search it out. If the borders haven't established, and Clarisse yet lives, then Grover is no longer in disgrace and is not trying to risk his life to find Pan, though he might do it anyway. I'm thinking of running a quest for Jason concurrent with the SoM arc, and maybe he gets into trouble and that's when Thalia has to go rescue him and get the Golden Fleece. The narrative parallels would be delicious, but I'm still mulling it over, and it requires me to change bits of the first part too.

(And this is why I'm doing outlines first this time 😅)

(Suddenly realizing I'm going to need a red string conspiracy board to keep track of all the moving players during all of this lmao)

Like during ATC, things would really heat up during TTC rewrite. Now you have five of the six Big Three Kids, and they're suddenly realizing what exactly is going on with their power spiderweb thing. I'd also really like to highlight Thalia's struggle with power, and have at least one supervillain moment where you can truly see the trained, dangerous daughter of Thunder. The Ophiotaurus, especially, was canonically a powerful lure for her, and she's already made her annoyance with Olympus frighteningly clear.

(If Percy regularly frightens people, demigods, and gods, without even trying to, Thalia can definitely do it on purpose. I will enjoy that more than I probably should tbh.)

My timer is up so I need to go back to restoring my window, but do send me more asks, or reblog this with something, I will absolutely talk to you more about my thoughts on the rewrite, and it helps me figure stuff out too. 💜💜

[cosmicanger]

David Hammons Air Jordan 1988; Tyre, bottle caps and wire; 91.4 x 35.6 x 22.9 cm | 36 x 14 x 9 in.

As stated multiple times on Ancient Clay, the art world doesn't want to change, and just like David Hammons said, "IT'S [THE ART AUDIENCE] OVERLY EDUCATED, IT'S CONSERVATIVE, IT'S OUT TO CRITICIZE NOT TO UNDERSTAND, AND IT NEVER HAS ANY FUN." I critiqued to call out anti-Blackness before it was trendy and to try to change things in the arts and also have fun doing it like one makes a diss track, but they don't like that all from Black people. Black people are seen as "haters" or "bitter trolls" as they criticize systemic oppression in the arts and systemic oppression enabled by the arts; the art world is a prime arena to witness the concept that neoliberalism breeds fascism in real time. White cis men criticize without any research or life experience, and they can become platformed critics.

You can see who is being silent or neutral to maintain their resource & clout, who will sustain or even gain clout for being vocal right (they know they will never say, lose their job or get arrested for being vocal or who would have a low bail; there are Black people who still in jail for 2014 actions…). You can see who is being vocal because they have nothing to lose or they risk their livelihoods because they earnestly care about the violence oppressed and marginalized people go through globally. I called out so much in the arts for a decade before it was socially profitable, and it affected my livelihood and survival over the years. I believe the art world does not want to change, and I would rather spend my time supporting people the arts continue to erase. No more appeals for the art world to see the “humanity” in Black artists, more offline actions. I wish I knew the terms OPSEC & radical chic when I was younger.

Calling out anti-Black and racist systems before they are socially profitable and co-opted by capitalism in the arts quickly becomes wasted time because that sentiment and criticality puts one on unofficial denylists. One becomes a target; collectors do not want to buy your artwork while alive, the artist gets no invites to trendy group shows or museum shows, and the artist never gets residencies or grants regardless of the caliber of the work; the arts tout bravery but simply a sea of cowards. Calling out anti-Blackness from non-Black artists individually affects social capital, which affects one's livelihood in this anti-Black capitalistic creative field dominated by clout and desirability politics. Calling out anti-Blackness from other Black artists who enable and enact anti-Blackness also affects one's social capital. None of that is fun; I am tired and getting older, and my body is run down from allostatic load and gaslighting for almost a decade as a major art world Cassandra. So, I think the only way to have some fun is to criticize critics and to say stuff people aren't saying aloud.

Continue Reading

[kalianos]

A rant of the last two months.

So I looked at a lot of my draft posts. The ones for the last month and a half were kinda Venting about the new corp I joined in Eve Online.

To be fair, I learned a mutual friend who has a habit of starting things then just...not taking control as a leader and lets things die as a result was starting it.

soooo yeah. That happened. Only one logging in now. ~_~

"It'll be great Kali! Getting back into Eve Kali! We should try doing FW and small gang pvp! Hey isn't it weird how you are the only cis guy in this corp?" yeah sure, except one problem. You dragged a bunch of newbies who never played before into it. As all Newbies tend to do, they are for some reason scared of pvp and losing ships. HELL ONE OF THEM THINKS THAT DOING PVP WAS THE SAME AS HARMING SOMEONE AND COULDN'T BEAR IT!

So we ended up turning into a Mining and Industry Corp. Except I was one of the few paid accounts. So I was the only one who could reliably skill into to building things. Okay I still can't get over the lack of wanting to PVP in the game built on it.

...a bit fucked up way of thinking but there was always mining and industry I guess? no. I spent, hundreds of millions on BPO's and started doing research material and time development which takes ages. We do a mining op, they manage to...somehow not know how to read? "Oh the sleepers are back!" Well I already took care of them in an Orca. Do it again!

No they are Drifters. Webbed, scrammed, disrupted. Trapped and couldn't warp off in an extremely large bulky slow ship. -_- 2.5billion down the drain. It was cool seeing the explosion though. Then slowly everyone started petering off one by one.

Our scared to pvp person went exploring in the pvp areas and was shocked that..they were attacked and managed to escape with their pod. They felt sick at the idea of shooting at a player. V: like...no seriously wtf? This is EVE. Everyone Vs. Everyone. Market pvp, Industry pvp, MINING PVP. Yes Mining pvp is a thing. Its called putting on the highest yield risk mining crystal and just sneaking into enemy territory asteroid field and just going to town destroying their asteroid resources so they can't build ships!

The Hauler did two contracts for us, and dipped. ...best fifty mil wasted?

Two of our number thought it was weird that the game didn't just automatically played itself? Like auto-target and then auto-fire? ...those modules exist but thats too much.

the lead and their girlfriend don't show up anymore so. Its just me in this corp? AFter spending so many skill points and isk in industry since "You are now the industry lead!"

Back on track learning how to pilot Triglavian ships and Edencom stuff since thats what I wanted to begin with.

Now I am in a dead corp with nobody logging in and my isk and LP is being taxed heavily to a corporation that no longer even functionally exists. Except as a blackmark in my job history in the game as "Why were you in this Corp. for only a few months after leaving your starter corp after nearly 14 years?"

BEcauseI got tired of helping people out in the newbie corp and wanted to hang out with friends! ....who immediate flaked out and left. And my other MMO friends won't touch EVe with a ten foot pole. "We don't understand it." -_-; Game is so much easier now than it was back then.

I wish....I wish I could just clone myself and have mini-me's running around non-stop. ....actually thats a bad idea. I don't understand Reactions in industry too well and I've only just started doing PLanetary industry setup after years of having the skills trained.

MAybe it would just be nice if people logged the fuck in and we could hang out. "My new job doesn't fit in with the weekly group up so I won't log in at all" >:V oh fuck off.

Screw this, I'm going into Wormhole space and find a Wormhole crew living in that insane spaghetti mess of systems and run C3's to earn enough isk in a couple days to buy a month of game time in game.

Or Join Faction Warfare and do the same but also have constant pvp.

Viva la Caldari / Guristas

Or constantly run Abyssal dungeons solo.

I am tired. At least there are a lot of new players coming into the game now? Its refreshing.

[racing-is-passion]

Track Limits

Let's talk about track limits, probably one of the most annoying topics in modern racing. Drivers and their cars just exit a corner with a milimeter driving over the white line with more than two tyres and the lap time gets deleted or the driver gets a warning. But why does it happen so often nowadays? The reason for it is found in the way the tracks are build today. Most tracks have large tarmac areas beside the actual track, because of safety reasons (Which is also a topic that has two different views on it), so that drivers can better reduce speed if they are about to crash into a wall and not to roll over if they should go sideways outside of the track. Until abot 20 years ago, tracks weren't build like that and almost always had grass, gravel or walls directly by the track. So the drivers calculate a much higher risk today when they go into such a corner, because they know that they won't crash, damage the car or lose (much) time if they are going into the corner slightly too fast. But that's the reason why those annoying track limits penatlies and warnings are that common today.

How could that problem be resolved? Well, that's not a very easy question, but I thought about it for a while over the last years and here are my ideas:

Just make a band of grass, which is something about 2 meters wide directly besides the track/behind the curbs and the tarmac run-off area behind it. That way the drivers maybe wouldn't take that high risk of driving a little bit too fast into a corner anymore, because they would know that they would lose time if they don't get the corner. Also the tarmac run-off is still there for the safety reasons.

Just change the tracks to the old style with grass and gravel directly by the track/behind the curbs. Track limits would be no issue anymore, but the safety stuff would maybe be a reason, on the other hand there are also people who say that gravel is more safe than tarmac. And I don't really disagree, I think it depends on the situation, there are situations where Tarmac is more safe ad there are situations where gravel is more safe.

Just leave it as it is and live with this annoying issue.

What do you think would be the best solution? You can vote below for it, also I'd be interested in reading your ideas to solve the problems, in case you have more ideas for it.

[cedar-newman-and-the-end]

1 -- Do you even title journal entries? November 16, 2096

Dad was always so insistent that I keep journals, or audio logs. Said they were... good for posterity, or something. I never kept up the habit for more than a day or two, but I think it might be helpful to have now. I don't know what I'm gonna run into out here, but I don't want to risk losing my memories to some kind of horrible techno-monster.

It's been two years and a bit since everything went to hell. I think, anyway. It's kind of hard to keep track of time when you need to think about surviving each individual day, but I managed to dig up a calendar pretty early on that I was using to keep an eye on things. It's gone now -- I dropped it in a river, or something stupid like that -- but that wasn't too long ago. I found this journal a couple of days later, and I figure I should try and keep track of time somehow, so... yay, I guess? Here we are.

Uh... gods, what to say. It's nice getting stuff out on paper. Being alone with my thoughts in my head is kind of hellish, and I haven't even seen another living person since... since I was last by Mount Adams -- there was a little community, they just called it Adams, that popped up there last year in the old recreation area, and I was there three weeks ago for a little while, just checking things out. I could've stayed if I wanted to -- goodness knows they would've appreciated another set of hands -- but... I dunno. I don't think it's my kind of place.

Gods, has it really already been three weeks? My voice is gonna be so dead next time I talk to someone. If there even is a next time.

I wonder if I can ride deer. Or maybe I can find some horses somewhere, or reindeer, or something. My shoes are really wearing down, and I don't know how to make new ones, so if I'm gonna be travelling much farther, I don't want to use my feet all the time. Man, I wish motorcycles still worked. That'd be really cool.

Also really loud, and maybe inadvisable. But cool.

[next]

[mish-tique]

Hii, please don't be sad!! You didn't fail kinktober. I just hope you're doing fine and okay. Writing should be fun and relaxing (pretty sure it's really not), you shouldn't be getting tired because of it so rest up!! Don't be pressured by us readers!!

And if you feel sad about this, completely valid! i hope carlos' pole made you feel better!!

SPOILERS for "The Risk of It All"

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Oooh i was waiting for this one actually, glad i'm getting it early

"His laptop is on his bed, and the stream Max is filming downstairs plays with the sound not too loud. Their apartment is isolated very badly, they discovered one night when Lando had been jerking off in his bedroom and Max could hear every single sound he made downstairs" <- boyfriends 🥺🥺

"Especially when it can hurt Max." <- and this line, i love how lando loves max

"At that thought, he bites his lip and turns the buttplug’s vibrations another level higher, then another without allowing Max an adjustment period." <- i just know that there's one or more watching fans making up scenarios in their head about the blush on max's face or the stutters that fall from his mouth

"anything somewhat related to public indecency gets them both going" <- i'm betting everything that they've done it on track already after one of lando's debriefs and the paddock seemed quiet enough that they could sneak off to the track

"It’s going to be so much fun to analyze the video later and point out all of Max’s tells and watch his boyfriend’s slightly humiliated reaction to it all. " <- they'd also be scrolling down some social media site and see the reaction pics that fans are making from the stream

😳😳😳😳😳

"starting next week im going to work full time" <- hope it won't be too tiring and that it'll be fun, and that you have nice colleagues and boss

drink lots of water and eat lots of comfort food! here's some roses, i hope they add to your day!!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

-Rose 🥺🌹

Carlos' pole def made me feel better!! even more so when i got absolutely black out drunk after that. like. you win some. (and you lose some directly after when that man retires one corner in.)

And it kind of sucks because i know i shouldn't be tired but I am because i was going so well? like normally when I try these kind of things i give up pretty early and then the disappointment isn't big either, but now things were going so well and ugh. i was so close. but the last left over projects for kinktober are quite big ones, with the exception of one, so i want to properly take my time for it and make people happy, so I'm going for quality over quantity.

nortrell boyfriends >>>

eheheh what if a fan writes a fanfic which ended up being reality

Lando: hey max, come read this

Max: ??? what's this

Lando: someone wrote a fic about you being fucked while on stream.

Max: ...did they know??

Lando: no, but they were close

please. on track. at the golfing club. at some beach club. on the beach. anywhere. everywhere.

And thank you! The job is very fun! and at first I thought i would be able to handle it like, energy wise, but yesterday it got me so exhausted i went to sleep at 20:30 like some granny LMAO. today i might at least be able to see it become 21:00. But my colleagues are nice! and i don't see my boss LMAO. something about nurses and being able to run stuff themselves.

my current food obsession is nature valley's protein peanut & chocolate bar. absolutely amazing.

I hope your college work is going well, that you are managing to find rest and time to sleep enough, and that you adjust well to the fall coming, if you're on this side of the earth.

[liethrasir]

Why aren’t we interacting yet symbols

@fxtelism​ asked;  “ 🌴: I like one or more of your muses but I can’t come up with a muse I could play “

That’s entirely understandable-- Honestly that’s one of the largest walls I end up hitting when it comes to interacting with peeps. BUT! That can be fixed; lemme look over your muse list again once I have enough free time (I sadly don’t remember a lot of the muse lists of peeps who’ve followed me for awhile with the unprompted lengthy absence that hit me until I FINALLY got around to doing stuff with this blog. When I had to remake it and all--) and I’ll see who I can see throwing who at. And if there is one or two of my muses that especially stick out, hit me with the names and I’ll figure out who I can see interesting stuff happening with!

[ghostykapi]

can i request an angst scenario with sana? many unresolved fights lead to a bigger fight where the reader is finally done? [i love angst scenarios idk why]

what do I do when home isn't with you

sana & fem!reader // angst

why do y'all like angst for j-line it's making me cry

you really didn't know how to handle anymore of this, you couldn't find any reason to do so

it started out small, from little misunderstandings to funny pranks. it was fine for both parties for a while, then it became more and more until it started pouring out into a cycle that quickly ruined your mind

it plays out as a script. she loses track of time, then she doesn't communicate where she is nor if she's alright, suddenly your stuck on waiting for minutes to hours, then when your about to leave then she magically comes by so you fight, you cry, you give her the silent treatment back at your apartment, you sleep crying, you wake up to her begging for forgiveness and then you finally give in to her.

you don't talk about it, maybe that's why it gets worse and worse each time

it's repetitive and while you know it's getting worse and worse by the months that roll by, but you can't seem to stop yourself nor her habits that continue to break both of you.

you love her. you really do. you love her so much that you risked your time, effort and energy for your relationship with her. it starts from waking up early to cook her a meal when she's homesick to spending your vacation days just to accompany her at her tour when she begged for your presence

you just don't hesitate to go home with a ruined mascara when she's late to your 3rd year anniversary. you don't hesitate to get in your apartment and cancel that ring you ordered for her. you don't hesitate to clean up then pack her stuff so when she walks at the door the scar on your heart will finally start to hurt the most.

you don't know what time you finished or what time she came home. all you knew that this was make or break of it all, and if she makes one more mistake she's out.

minatozaki sana. the woman that brought you both your happiest days and cruelest nights meekly walks in your home with flowers in her hands

one step and she tries to say a word, any word, but flatters once she sees your bloodshot eyes

two steps and she sees the way you guard yourself, arms crossed and eyes cold. your heart finally goes numb

three steps, she finally runs to you and falls on her knees, begging for forgiveness with tears in her eyes.

you don't make a move, only looking down at her eyes and questioning ever word that spills out of her mouth.

does she mean it when she says she loves you? does she mean it when she flirts with ever possible person near her radar. does she mean it when she's going to do better? when she forgets every date after that and questions why you're scared to go and book another reservation. does she mean it, when she says that you're her light when you swore she looked at someone else and you found her smile finally getting brighter than she was with you.

you don't even let her finish when you stand up, give her two luggages worth of all her stuff and clothes that lay in your apartment, turn around and walk to back to your bedroom

sana stands there, with tears in her eyes, as she watches you clearly say the words that will haunt her for the rest of the night and maybe her whole life

"you choose to place your love somewhere else and I see it in your actions. if you don't intend to stay true to your word, then I suggest you leave my life so I can start loving myself again"