#So many fics where Atem just has his own for no reason

[princessofgames]

puzzleshipping fans need to stop being afraid to depict yugi and the spirit sharing a body like they do in the show.

[carmypen]

I was tagged...fanwork 2020 review

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by: @meshimoon

tagging: @dualumina @azhdarcho And whoever else would enjoy doing this.

Work #1: Memories of the Necklace She Once Wore

I wrote this in April 2020 when I was trying (and failing) to write a drabble every day for a month. This was the first Zexal fic I had published in six years, and I’m still quite proud of it. I love me some post-canon Vector angst, and I think it would be fun to explore that through him interacting with Yuma’s parents.

More under the cut....

Work # 2: Kaiba Corp. CEO appears at local high school graduation. You won’t believe what happened next!

I wrote this because of the scene from Duel Links where Tea/Anzu asks Kaiba if he’s going to go to graduation. I love the idea of Kaiba still being beholden to normal high school things, despite him being the farthest from normal a person can ever possibly be. This was also fun to write because I have a background in journalism. So this let me stretch writing muscles I hadn’t used in a while.

Work #3: Scars; Healing

My Zexal month thing. Writing this was a fun learning experience. I started writing this because I found one of my old notebooks from 2013-2014, which was filled with old Zexal fic. There was a snippet from one of the old fics that I really liked, so I recycled it into a totally new fic. This shows why it’s important to keep all your old WIPs around, even if you never finish them. You never know what you might end up using in the future.

Also: more post-canon Vector angst. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t written more Vector stuff through all of this.

Work #4: A Severed Bond? Enter Duel Links!

This one had a difficult birth. It’s 3,000 words long, and it took me 3 months to write. But I’m really proud of it. It was fun to write all the scenes with Yuma and his family, as well as the scenes between Yuma and Astral. I’m really proud of the characterization, too, and I’ve gotten a lot of compliments about it.

My favorite part of the whole thing is the scene where grandma talks about her girlhood crush on Kaiba. I will go down with this dumb crackship nobody asked for. 

Honorable Mentions (AKA WIPs I love, but have not finished)

WIP #1: Shark and the Barian Emperors go Grocery Shopping.

I love this WIP so much. I’ve fallen off it for now but I really hope I come back to it because it makes me so happy. What was especially cool about this one was I attempted to write it in screenplay format. That was a really neat and interesting challenge, and I got to learn about writing in a way I never have before. There’s also a bit of a power flex to it. It’s one thing to write fanficiton, but it’s another thing to just sit up one day and go “You know what? I’m going to write my OWN episodes of Yugioh.” I really hope I feel inspired to pick this story up again once I get to Zexal II in my rewatch.

WIP #2: The Rivalshipping Thing

I don’t know where the hell this came from.

I have never had any interest in this ship at all. I’ve never read any fic for it. I don’t look for fanart for it. I didn’t even know it had a NAME until DSOD came out. The only reason I even started writing it was because I got this idea for a post-DSOD story where Kaiba tells Yugi he got to duel Atem. And then somehow it just got completely out of hand and now I’m like 5,000+ words deep into it? It’s somehow a Zexal crossover and it has a plot? Why? How? Who knows?! 

Admittedly, the progress on it has been slow, since I’ve made the transition from working digitally to working in person again, so I’m more tired when I get home. I’m kind of hoping that if I stick with it I might try to do a marathon writing session for Camp NaNoWriMo, but we’ll see how it goes...

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 32

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Chapter 32 - God-Shattering Star

“Oh, cry me a river, Rex!” Weevil glanced to the battle below; many of the Club members had already died. Joey, Mai, Yugi, Téa, Tristan, Atem, and Duke were the only fighters who hadn’t sustained any serious injuries against the massive Earthbound army. Even Phuckdis and William were riddled with gashes, yet refused to retreat with Dr. Balls. “So your allies still cling to life like a drowning man onto a rock. Cute. Not that it will do any of you any good!”

“Rex…” Mako crawled on the floor; luckily for him, Espa retreated from the battle before he got hurt at all. “Don’t listen to him! You’re… hah… You’re the only one who can… save us…”

“Mako, don’t…” It was just then that after recalling the fight with Nortius, Rex had an idea. “Wait a second, Amber.”

“Papa, what is it?”

“I want to try something out. Why don’t we try fusing, just like Mako did with Jinzo?”

“But we don’t even have Polymerization! Those who do either are incapacitated or otherwise occupied! And you can’t even fly… If you fell to your death just like Kaiba, and all because of a stupid and ill-timed experiment, I…”

“Argh, we’ll both die anyway if we do nothing!” Rex pumped his fists in the air. “Show a little bit more Raptor spirit, why don’t you?”

“Papa… Okay. I trust you.” So Amber spoke as she half-shifted, and Rex began a long freefall.

“You really are a blooming idiot, aren’t you?” Weevil would have laughed longer, but stopped when he saw Rex glow pink. “So you think you can- Huh?”

“What’s… What’s happening to my boy?” Ptera wondered as Spinos tended to her wounds.

“Don’t tell me…” Phuckdis began. “Rex is…”

Before Rex could fall very far, Amber had completely fused with him, and he grew angel’s wings that soon turned into Rabidragon’s wings. Even if only by a little bit, the gloomy weather began to dissipate, replaced by an enormous pink glow at the top of KaibaCorp Tower. 

“What is the meaning of this?” The shining presence of Rex - with his bow, fluffy white shirt, golden pants, and Rabidragon’s ears and tail - intimidated Weevil. “Just who do you think you are, that you can challenge me? Well, no matter! I’ll kill you right here, as I intended to do from the beginning! Take this!” 

“...” Rex didn’t say anything as he simply held his bow at his side, and grabbed the chain whip before it could hurt him.

“It’s… Impossible! Aaaah!” Weevil reeled backwards when Rex threw him. “How can a weak rabbit like you stand up to me? ”

“It’s because…” Phuckdis made his presence known. “Rex is the true God-Shattering Star.”

William bowed in reverence with his brother and the remaining members of the Club. “He is the light that will save us all.”

Espa could still see Weevil and Rex, even from his hospital room. “Is that you, Rex Raptor?”

Joey looked up at Rex’s true form with a hint of jealousy. “That’s more powerful than anything I could cook up with the Claw of Hermos. I suppose that runt isn’t as weak as I thought him to be.”

Rex finally opened his now-crimson eyes and began to speak in a distorted voice. “Weevil… No, Earthbound God Sanpedro. I will kill you, right here and now, and free my beloved Weevil Underwood from your clutches.”

“So now you want me to die? That’s rich! What a fool. Come on, boy, come try me!”

“Hey, let me help too!” When Joey rushed up to Rex, he could feel an invisible barrier push him backwards. 

“Joey, this is my fight alone. Why don’t you just take out the small fry and let a pro handle this?”

“Hahaha!” Despite the fact that there were still several hundred Earthbound soldiers left, Joey couldn’t help but laugh. “Even when he’s some almighty angel… god... thing, he’s still definitely that silly Rex Raptor. Well, my dude, consider my morale boosted! You heard the man, guys!”

“H-How dare you address the God-Shattering Star that way?” Phuckdis was clearly offended. 

“Aww, come on, lighten up! Or you can just, I don’t know, sit there and relax while us duelists take care of the bad guys.”

“Or I can just, you know, show you just how strong us shapeshifters are!” Upon hearing Joey’s words, Phuckdis felt his strength anew, as did his brother. “I cannot fly, but that doesn’t mean I cannot fight!”

“Headstrong and reckless like your ‘God-Shattering Star.’” Duke chuckled. “Well, then, you better do a good job proving how strong you are!”

“You’re a poet and didn’t even know it!” Tristan quipped.

“You see, Weevil?” Rex stared at the nearly-soulless shell of his boyfriend. “You picked the wrong side to fight for. You have no friends there.”

“‘Friends,’ huh…” Weevil stared absentmindedly at the fighting below, especially at Joey and Atem. The chain whip rattled in his hands as he shook in anger. “Must be sooooo nice to have them! It must feel soooooo nice to be able to get palsy-walsy with people who didn’t give a shit about you just four years ago!”

“Weeves?!”

“You… YOU FUCKERS WILL ALL PAY!” Weevil dove as fast as he could, with all the anger he could muster ready to fuel his strike upon Atem.

“You coward! Get back here!” Rex couldn’t dive anywhere near that quickly, but tried to keep up as fast as his unborn baby would allow him, holding onto her for dear life.

“Eh?” Joey noticed Weevil coming for him before anyone else did, and braced himself with the Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword. “Atem, look out!”

“Amulet Dragon, protect us!”

Weevil had originally planned to strike everyone in one blow with the chain whip. But being the deceptive little shit he was, he decided on a different mode of attack - bypassing all of the monsters and encasing his two most hated enemies in spider webs instead. “Ha! Syke!”

“Ggh!” Already, Joey was up to his neck in spider webs - yet for some strange reason, his sword arm remained free, as did the sword itself. The webs would not give way, no matter how hard or often he slashed at them.

“W-Weevil…” Atem could hardly talk, as the spider webs gripped his throat tightly. “I… I thought we were friends!”

“Me? Friends with you?! What a joke! Do you honestly expect me to believe a word of bullshit coming out of your mouth after the suffering you’ve caused me? Do you honestly think that after all you’ve done, I’d consider you a friend?” Weevil cackled as Atem writhed in pain. “If anything, you’re lower than the dirt underneath my feet!”

All the commotion awakened Heka. “F-Father… No! Dear gods, what’s happening to my father?”

“Boy! How does it feel to know that your father is no longer the King of Games?”

“Leave… him alone!” Heka flung a flimsy arm, releasing a ball of light that Weevil easily blocked. 

“Hmm… Nah, I think I’ll pass on that. In fact, I’d rather kill him before your very eyes!” Weevil approached Atem, with the intent to decapitate him with the chain whip. That was, until Rex blocked him in the nick of time, drawing Weevil’s attention away from his two captives. “Humph. It’s you again.”

“Damn right!” Rex’s smile faded when not long after he blocked the attack, his bow began to crumble. “Uh… Uh-oh…”

“Hah! Some ‘God-Shattering Star’ you turned out to be! Looks to me like you’re the one who’s shattered!” 

“Crud… I kind of need a weapon!” Rex picked up a sword from one of his fallen allies, but it was so weak that Weevil shattered it with his bare hands, grabbing Rex by the throat right after. “Ngh!”

“Before I kill you right here and now, tell me something, Rex. Why did you defend these guys?”

“B-Because… They’re… my… cough… cough…”

“They accepted you so easily, just because you play by the rules… Why is friendship such an easy thing for you, yet I could never make one friend? Why do Joey and Atem and literally everyone else in this fucking city love you and think I’M the worst duelist there ever was?”

“Don’t… Don’t I count, Weeves?” More than the iron grip of Weevil’s right hands, Weevil’s words hurt Rex. “And your own daughter? Have… cough… Have you already forgotten what we’ve all been through? We’re… willing to… forgive you… Just… Ugh!”

“Not another word out of you! The Earthbound Gods are the only friends I need now! Not you weaklings!” Ignoring the twinge of pain in his heart, Weevil lightly ran the chain whip over Rex’s left arm, barely enough to draw blood. “I’m going to fucking kill you!”

Weevil was so far gone into his own madness that Joey was certain he wouldn’t be able to hear him now. “Psst… Rex.”

“J-Joey?” Rex turned his head around, just enough to see Joey.

“You said… cough… that you needed a weapon, right?” Joey held up his sword arm. “Ya’ think this will be good enough?”

“That’s…!” Flashbacks of his Orichalcos duel flooded Rex’s mind. That’s the sword that sent my soul to the Great Leviathan! But if there’s no other choice, then…

“It’s now or never! Think fast!” Joey threw the Red-Eyes Black Dragon Sword at Rex, hoping to the gods he’d catch it and put it to good use.

“If that sword can’t cut the spider webs, then what makes you think that Rex will somehow magically put it to good use?”

Rex felt the sword land in his right hand, and had a clever idea. “By doing… this. ”

“G-Gaaaaah!” Weevil howled in pain when Rex did the unthinkable - completely cutting off his right arms and thereby freeing Atem and Joey from their bonds. He stared at Rex wide-eyes. “You would dare hurt me? Aren’t you scared of losing the love of your life?”

“Yes, I am.” Rex pointed the sword at Weevil’s face. “But the thing I’m even more scared of? Seeing Weevil Underwood beat himself up and become a destructive monster where a man once was.”

“Ugh, you were always so talkative!” Weevil flew higher and dove at Rex like a peregrine falcon. Rex took to the air as well and parried this attack with the sword, but not without some recoil. “Just one of the many things I hate about you!”

“Hah!” Rex repelled Weevil with the sword, enough to put a slight dent in the chain whip. “Your psychological tricks aren’t going to work on me now, Weevil!” 

“But maybe a variety of attacks can!” Weevil shot spider webs from his left hands that stuck to Rex’s butt-length hair and part of his shirt.

“Tch…” Rex didn’t like the sensation of sticky things in his hair, but grinned and bore it for now. “Am I supposed to be scared by the fact that you’re still part-spider?”

Weevil smirked as he barraged Rex with the chain whip. “Oh, I still see the fear in your eyes, Rex Raptor. A fear that you will lose the father of that child you’re carrying.”

Weevil’s words reminded Rex of his more painful contractions that got ever closer - yet being the bold man and duelist he was, he paid them little heed.

“I’ll give you credit for one thing,” Weevil spoke while he beat his wings faster, deadlocked in battle, trying to crush Rex with the chain whip. “You’re quite the warrior. And you’ve changed since your Orichalcos duel with Joey. It appears that you’re not going to let something like mere words rile you up.”

“But I can tell my words are riling you up…” Rex whispered closed to Weevil’s ear, catching him off-guard, before stabbing him in the shoulder with the sword. 

“Ngh…” Finally in pain, Weevil could feel his strength dwindling.

“Weeves…” Rex stared at his boyfriend - and stabbed him in the left thigh - in sorrow. “You can’t honestly mean that you want this… any of this! Don’t you remember seeing your daughter for the first time on the ultrasound? A-And how I told you all those years ago that I want nobody but you? How fast our hearts were beating when we confessed our love?”

“You… dino brain! Ack!” Weevil could no longer repel Rex’s attack and fell a few feet downwards. “I thought I told you that you can’t sweet talk your way into killing an Earthbound God!”

“You called me ‘dino brain’ again…” Tears of joy pooled in Rex’s eyes. “I know you still love me… Once the Rex Raptor has his sights on you, you can’t get rid of him.”

“Actually, I can ,” spoke a voice that was clearly not Weevil’s.

“Is… Is that you, Watda?” Weevil’s real voice finally came out.

“It appears to me that you’re going to be useless now, Uru… So it looks like I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.”

“No… No!” Weevil thrashed about in the air, confusing Rex. “Leave Rex and Amber alone!”

“Weeves, what’s going on?” Rex couldn’t hear Watda’s voice.

“Goodbye, you damned useless rabbit…”

Weevil couldn’t control the ball of dark energy coming out from his right hands. “Wait… Watda, stop!”

“Ah!” He wasn’t fully confident that he could block this evidently stronger attack, but Rex enveloped himself in his dragon’s wings. 

And Rex wouldn’t have to block the attack. For before Watda’s attack could hit him, Weevil managed to separate from Watda, taking the full brunt of the attack last minute.

“W-Weeves!” The strength in Rex’s eyes now gone, he watched in horror as his boyfriend froze in the air before beginning a rapid descent into Domino City’s concrete. “Oh my gods… No… You’re going to come back, just like you did last time… right?”

“Even an Earthbound God and the Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon can’t survive a 1000-meter fall. You saw it yourself when Cusillu, Aslla Piscu, and Kaiba all died.”

“Shut… up…”

“Now what are you going to do, since your beloved Weevil Underwood lies dead?” Watda laughed as his shadows grew fiercer. “You’re nothing without him, you weak-ass monster. Nothing!”

“That’s… That’s not… Oh!” Before Rex could aim his sword at Watda, he suddenly felt amniotic fluid trickle down his legs. He shook so badly that he lost grip of the sword as it plummeted after Weevil.

“You’re in labour, hmm? Looks to me like you have two choices: one, continue to fight me and risk losing your baby; or two, going back to ground level to give birth. But with that second option, there might be a sliiiiight chance I’ll destroy the world. Either way, you lose! Hahahahaha!”

No, he won’t, spoke Amber’s voice.

“Ngh… Amber, you’re still there?”

I’ve been with you the whole time, Papa. You’ve got to finish this fast!

“But how do you expect me to do that? Especially since… your Daddy is…”

There is one way. Now that Daddy has been separated from Watda… Papa, I’ll give you all of my strength. Use it to finally banish this mongrel to hell, where he belongs! Amber de-fused from Rex. In fully shifted form, she engulfed Watda, leaving only the Earthbound God’s chest exposed. In the process, lights sprung from the ground as the bow regenerated in Rex’s hands.

“Ggh! Let go of me, you wench!” Watda struggled to no avail.

Before Rex could process what was going on, he coruscated like the northern lights, and he stretched out his new angel’s wings. His hair grew past his legs, and brown locks encircled his arms.

“Oh my…” With the Earthbound army now vanquished, Phuckdis could truly behold his people’s chief god.

“That’s my boy!” Ptera cheered. “Give that bastard what for!”

“Hehe!” Rex gave his mom a thumbs up. “One kick-ass arrow, coming right up!”

“What are you doing?” Watda could feel his time at an end.

“Watda!” Rex continued to growl as he pulled his bowstring back, and his body and weapon grew ever brighter. “Go back to the shadows! Hyaaaaaaaah!”

“It’s…” Watda could say little more as the glowing arrow impaled a giant hole in his chest. “It’s done… I’m… done… Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!”

“Finally, something we can agree on.” Rex’s descent back to Earth started slowly, but upon reaching six feet above ground, he reverted forms and fell into Spinos’ arms.

“God-Shattering Star!” Phuckdis and the remaining Club members ran up to Rex.

“Is… Is that what I’m called? Heh, sounds pretty cool…” Rex would have rested if he didn’t wonder about Amber. “Wait a second, where’s Amber? Where is my daughter?”

“Rex!” Mokuba pointed to an approaching Joey, who carried a heavily mutilated Amber in his arms.

“Amber!” Rex got up from his prone position to hold Amber, whom Joey had gently lowered to the ground. “No! I… I thought we got him! I thought we defeated Watda together!”

“W-We did… But at a cost… What did you think I meant when I said ‘I’ll give you all of my strength?’”

“Amber…?” Rex couldn’t even hold Amber’s right hand anymore, as it began to fade into nothingness. “What’s happening? Please… This isn’t happening!”

“My… My granddaughter…” Ptera cried as Spinos and Tricera consoled her. Not a single eye was dry as Rex’s friends and allies watched the scene unfold. Even Espa and a newly-healed Mako could see what was going on.

“But… But we only got to duel once!” Joey got down and cried with Rex. “And you haven’t even dueled Espa yet! I thought you were going to win back his Serpent Night Dragon!”

“Joey… My friend…” Amber reached out her left hand to Joey. “I… I just wished I had… acknowledged you as such… earlier…”

“Amber! No, please don’t die!” Pretty much every body part Rex tried to grab at faded away, except for Amber’s head, shoulders, and left hand. 

“Die? No, I’m just about to be born…” Amber placed what was left of her left hand on Rex’s baby bump. “I can’t wait to see you again and forge our bonds anew.”

“Amber…?” Rex cried as Amber chuckled one last time before her future self was no more. “AMBER! NO! Oh… my gods… Sniff…”

“My love!” Heka, who had just fully healed, ran to Rex. He had only seen future Amber for a brief spell before she died. “Oh, no… My heart…”

“Heka, I’m so sorry…” Rex hugged his daughter’s boyfriend. “Not only for your mother’s death, but also for Amber’s…”

“Forget about me! You just lost your daughter!” Heka cried into Rex’s shoulder as Atem consoled him too.

“Amber… I… Aaaaargh!” Rex suddenly doubled over as the remainder of his amniotic fluid gushed out all at once.

“His water has already broken… Rex is going into labour!” Mokuba announced. “Someone call an ambulance!”

“It’s for real this time, guys!” Joey got up and dialed the campus emergency number. After that, he knelt down again, trying to calm Rex down in any way he could. “Rex, hang in there. We’re going to get you help!”

[imagitory]

Hi! I really, really loved the wsy you explained violetshipping. Could you maybe do the same thing forpuzzleshipping?

Guess it’s time to resurrect the fandom ask! (Feel free to send me other asks for other ships and fandoms too!

When I started shipping them: I was a puzzleshipper from the start, all the way back in 2001 when the show first started airing in America.

My thoughts: The Yugi and Yami/Atem relationship is, in my opinion, the single most important in the entire series. Yes, Kaiba is constantly Yugi’s rival and he pushes both Yugis to the brink and sparks character development in both, and yes, Jounouchi and Yugi’s friendship is the purest thing there is, but neither relationship is as developed, focused on, or compelling as Yugi and Atem’s is. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter how these two are portrayed to me: they could be best friends, like brothers, mentor and protege, lovers, soulmates, whatever, as long as they’re together and as long as the sincere love between them is sustained, and I think anyone would be hard-pressed to argue that these two don’t sincerely love each other. Yugi risked his life to put his Puzzle back together even though he was trapped inside a burning building. Atem was emotionally destroyed when Yugi sacrificed himself to the Seal of Orikalkos in his place. 

Now, of course, just like with violetshipping, there were a lot of OOC depictions of Yugi and Atem in the works that shipped them back in the day. I remember when I first started writing fanfiction how common it was for Yugi’s more “feminine-coded” traits (namely, his compassion, forgiveness, and kindness) to be expanded so that Yugi could be turned into more of the “uke” stereotype to Atem’s “seme.” Even though I look back on this and see where some people could think it simplified and in some ways fetishized a gay relationship into stereotypically masculine and feminine roles, I will still defend the older stories that did this to a degree, as they were often written by young authors who were still in the process of learning more about character and relationship development and sometimes even about their own sexuality, and to be fair to the “uke/seme” dynamic, there are some LGBT couples where one is more dominant and the other is more submissive. The only problem is how commonly that dynamic is favored in the media over different, less starkly binary dynamics, and of course, once those kinds of authors grow up, I hope they embrace a more expansive world view and don’t just write two characters together to titillate themselves and/or their audience, but because those characters have a meaningful relationship. But I would argue that although puzzleshipping can sometimes be dismissed as just being yaoi fanservice, most puzzleshippers don’t ship Yugi and Atem for the sake of fanservice, even if some of the works they might create aren’t all completely in-character. Puzzleshippers ship because of the profound relationship established in the series, not in spite of it.

What makes me happy about them: I love how much they love, support, and learn from each other! Yes, of course Yugi learns to be more confident and how to be a better duelist, but Atem also learns the value of compassion, selflessness, and friendship from Yugi. As Atem tells Yugi during the series finale in the Japanese dub, he is strong, for he has the strength of tenderness. (Plus, honestly, looking at how Atem started out in season 0 and the early chapters of the manga compared to where he ended up? Wow, did he evolve!)

What makes me sad about them: ATEM, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GOOOOOO. *cries* …Okay, seriously, though, even if it saddens me that Atem had to pass on, I’m actually impressed the show was brave enough to do that and think it was a fitting, though very bittersweet ending. Yugi was always sort of going to be in Atem’s shadow as long as they shared a body, and the series ending gives Yugi the chance to stand tall on his own with all of the lessons Atem taught him, including this new lesson Atem unknowingly left for him, which is dealing with loss and grief. This is actually why I was disappointed that in DSOD, Yugi only defeated the villain because Atem came back out of the blue and the story didn’t have Kaiba coming to grips with Atem being gone, letting go of his and Atem’s old rivalry, and seeing Yugi as the heir to Atem’s legacy and therefore his new rival. The original series and even DSOD’s own plot set up a great story about moving on and growing up after suffering a great loss, only to subvert all of it with the ending.

…But yes, even with that, ATEEEEM! *cries*

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I touched on the uke-seme thing up there: as I said, I forgive it to a point, but I think when leaned into too much, it can result in Yugi being too passive or too reliant on Atem.

Things I look for in fanfic: Honestly, I haven’t read that many puzzleshipping fics lately, but with these guys, I want to see love! I want to see these two helping and supporting each other – knowing each other better than anyone else – playfully ribbing each other – arguing for understandable reasons – sacrificing for each other – feeling more whole together than apart.

My wishlist: I guess I’ll just repeat this from my violetshipping post – can we please have a Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Monsters reboot with pretty new animation? I just haven’t been able to get into any of the newer Yu-Gi-Oh series, and honestly, it’d be great to have a Funimation dub for a show that feels much more like the original manga and maybe has the chance for more character/relationship development outside of Yugi and Atem. (I love their relationship, don’t get me wrong: I just would’ve liked it if other relationships got as much development as they got.)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Atem I honestly don’t ship with anyone else – if he’s not with Yugi, I’m okay with him being alone. Yugi I could also see with Kaiba or Jounouchi. ^.^

My happily ever after for them: Yugi lives out the rest of his life happily and gloriously as the one and only Yugi Mutou – the King of Games – and at the end of his life, he’s sleeping peacefully in bed when a familiar light shines from his side table. For a split second, he thinks he sees the Millennium Puzzle lying on it, as it did so long ago, but instead, he sees the Pharaoh leaning up against it, smiling proudly down at him. Yugi gets up, shocked, but this time, Atem isn’t just a spirit like he was in the past: somehow he looks physical enough to touch. Atem extends his arms, saying how much he’s missed his “partner,” and Yugi bolts out of bed, his face contorting with joy, as he leaps into Atem’s arms. As he embraces the Pharaoh, he sheds his age, becoming the young boy who first put together the Puzzle once again. Light shines around both of them and they disappear, leaving only the body of old Yugi behind: light and darkness have been reunited, never to be parted again.

Fandom Ask!

[kintatsujo]

Um... This is going to sound like a weird question, but... you watched Yu-Gi-Oh back when it was still airing, right? What was that like? Did you have any theories or predictions about what would happen? Were they confirmed? What was the fandom like? Was there discourse? I ask because I was so little back then that I only caught snippets of episodes, so by the time I actually got into the fandom the series was over and I got spoiled pretty much immediately. Sorry if this is out of the blue!

okay lol sorry for taking a bit to answer this it’s been

one of those weeks

Okay so yes!  Yugioh was the first fandom I was actively in and yes, there was fandom fighting

We basically fought about literally everything; it’s a lot more laid back even if you consider that I’m better at picking people to be in a community with now

Some Debates included 

what continuity was Better (much like today but complicated by the fact that for a while it was harder to get one’s HANDS on certain continuities; which is why there are people who think Series Zero was Super Serious as opposed to being Pretty Silly)

Shipping wars, as you’d expect, but Silentshipping was actually a pretty huge ship at the time (and I’m still convinced its rarity now was because of a concerted bullying effort, given the reaction I still see to @shizukazilla every time someone finds it)

Whether or not Alister was a dude or a chick in the Japanese, which lasted about a week but was quite vicious

“Yami Terrence,” where someone insisted Malik was going to be renamed “Something stupid like Terrence” randomly on her personal shitty-ass Geocities site (which was literally just a profile about herself with a random rant about how much she hated the Yugioh dub) and then an entire section of the fandom took it as gospel that this was going to be his name until the episode he’s first called “Marik” aired

Lots and lots and LOTS of Tea bashing, which I am quite relieved most of the fandom has moved on from because I Have Seen Things Which Cannot Be Unseen

“It’s impossible to do a good nexgen”

I did indeed have at least one theory confirmed and that was basically that Atem was going to die (and I feel bad about that in retrospect but my tendency to be too genre savvy for my own good is one I’ve had for a long time)

The biggest subset of fandom theories was generally about what Atem’s actual name was going to turn out to be and they were pretty much all wrong

Also: The reason I never much got into Yugioh The Abridged Series is because initially it was literally all jokes we were literally all making with some shit that made me genuinely uncomfortable thrown in, go figure I guess?

There were a lot more fics and speculation based on the video games than there is now and I honestly miss it even though I never did play them

At its height Yugioh was absolutely more popular than Pokemon.  Like, I’d walk through the store and there’s Mai on the TV Guide.  I have so much random ass packaging from cereal bars and cereal; also the cereal was basically triangular Captain Crunch and again I genuinely miss it

The readership for one of the fan magazines thought Johnny Depp should play Malik in a live action movie and I’ve never forgiven them

A “dueling tutorial” DVD that one of these magazines put out where one of the kids insisted on calling Celtic Guardian “Seltic” Guardian like the basketball team and clearly was very smug about the dub pronouncing it “wrong” (the dub isn’t pronouncing Celtic wrong btw)

actually on that note of non-digital fandom both Junior and Senior year of high school I basically sat and watched my Junior year boyfriend’s buddies play Yugioh and DBZ every lunch and one of the kids insisted on calling his all-female monster deck his “Vagina Deck” (I know), plus there was a lot of ragging on Exodia

SO MANY little independent fansites like oh my god, like if the internet were a vast ocean and Tumblr were a continent these would basically have been the Pacific Islands 

one of the most notable fansites was run by this guy named Edo and a Big Theory is that Edo Phoenix was actually named after him; he actually made this like, really broken little computer game for the card game I think he never finished but which Invid played for like weeks worth of hours

There was a Mary Sue Test people kept referring people to that was more stringent about character design than whoever drew the Battle City background characters

there’s

there’s a lot

it was a lot

[ask-henry-yugi-tudor]

Just story ideas I have and wrote about a little I guess

.....

Just vote which ones you like xD

#1: Unnamed - unfinished not even 200 words of some sort au where yami is an animal

#2: King Yamir, King of illusions - unfinished Is a story where Yugi got kidnapped from his home and is now traveling back after 50 years with a dragon, a knight and two centaurs and their friend. However once he arrives, he realizes things have changed and he isnt sure if the life with the humans might have been better off, even if they got rid of his wings.

#3 Mermaids  - unfinished An au where Yugi gets himself into trouble by swimming too close to the surface and he ends up getting hit by the blade of a boat propeller. Kaiba ends up taking care of him but pegasus wants to put him on display. Atem meanwhile is furiously searching in every corner of the sea to find Yugi back and will stop at nothing to find him.

#4 Untamed  - unfinished Prince Yugi is in search of a mythical beast in the woods that bears the fruit of life on its antlers which can save his grandfather, and the current king’s life. if he fails however, his evil uncle Aknaheden will assend the throne and plunge the kingdom into destruction. Meanwhile he kidnaps a child, befriends the most sarcastic cook ever and insults a young prodigee mage along the way.

... tbh i think shiirojasmine would love what i have in store for that one but im too afraid to tag anyone in this long post.

#5 Aelves  - unfinished This story was created before King Yamir. It centered around Atem and his family which were orphans that lived on the streets before getting taken in by townspeople. Atem was the apprentice of a blacksmith bullied by a fierce adventerous knight who told him he would never make good swords, Timaël (Timaeus’ counterpart) was a sheperdboy who was afraid of sheep and Heba worked in a bakery. They find out their parents have been killed by Aelves and plan on finding these Aelves only to befriend Yami, Yugi and Timaeus because they saved one that almost drowned in the river while the other two were unnable to swim. 

This was the original idea, but there were too many characters and though i havent really written a good amount on it, this hasbeen revised into number 6

#6 Aelves  - unfinished Atem finds himself in a bind when he befriends a young Aelf when another thinks he is going to be Yugi’s candidate for the wild hunt. The wild hunt involves humans having to run as the Aelves chase them riding deer. And the human has the marry the Aelf that captures them. Also Yugi hits Atem with a frying pan because why not.

#7 The Time we Share -  finished Probably the only fanfic i have ever finished. Resolves about Yami, a social awkward young man that is in love with his introverted neighbor and has no idea how to handle it. A short oneshot. Nobody understands it. I dont even know myself.

#8 Words better left unsaid  - unfinished Another Neighbor Au Where Yami is a serial killer that partakes in weird human sacrifice rituals. Yugi is so dense however he doesnt notice it. Meanwile Yami keeps stalking him around, always knowing an excuse to be in the same place as Yugi. Eventually Yugi just takes him along because reasons he doesnt find suspicious at all. But having an infatuated serial killing stalker is a good thing when the world finds out you are in possession of an ancient artifact made of solid gold and everyone wants to kill you.

#9 Mirror Immage - unfinished (this is an old one) What if there was a life on the other side of the mirror that was the entire opposite of your own yet still looked exactly the same? And what if you fell through? What if your Mirror Immage was right beside you, instead of being a mere reflection? #10 We create this world - unfinished Based on an old fanfiction of mine called Need A Second to Breathe- basically it is a rewrite of this- In where Yami, Atem and the other egyptiantied cast are the incarnated gods of Egypt. Yami is not allowed to enter the Human world but does so anyway, finding Yugi. He uses his godlike powers to make Yugi happy and angers Atem further. However Atem once made the same mistake of falling in love with a human called Heba, and Yugi looking like Heba is not helping in the slightest. Yugi keeps having viseons of Heba, whos ghost has returned from the underworld, however at the terrible price of being possessed by an evil spirit. And yugi has to choose between giving up his body to save Heba, or not doing so, in turn losing Yami.

#11 A Shadow’s cast - unfinished I think I was either very tired or sick writing this one because it doesnt make any sense. Basically Yugi wakes to find a visitor in his home that is trying to hide from an organisation that is trying to hurt hus guest. Needs a desperate rewrite. 

#12 The Cecaelia - unfinished but up for reading Here What do you do when you find a little creature out on the beach being attacked by seagulls? Chuck it back into the ocean, or take care of it? #13 Mob Boss Yugi - unfinished This kind of was based on Shiirojasmine’s 3 gods au and it sort of formed into my own concoction I suppose. An au where Yugi often blacks out and becomes Yami, one of the greatest mob bosses the world has ever seen. Mai and Joey being undercover agents. Yugi gets scared and writes letters to his other self, finding out that he is a mere puppet that is to serve Atem. Atem is being captured by an evil organisation and has year to pay all his depts using Yugi, or he will be killed. A heist takes place at school and Yugi can no longer determine wether he is a high school student or a wanted drugdealer.

 #14 Beast Assylum  - unfinished  A creepy Au where Yugi and Atem have been subjected to Lycanthropy and are being locked away so they cant hurt any innocent people ever again. Instead they are being used to get rid of people society doesnt want and or need.  Atem is a crybaby. Yugi has been planning his escape for a long time now, why has he started to care for the other, this was not supposed to happen! #15 Baby And a Pharo  - unfinished A spoof fanfiction where Yugi solves a puzzle as a baby and somehow it is a portal to the past. The Egyptians think he is son or Ra and Atem takes Yugi under his wing. However Time in Yugis verse moves faster and He has to make the disission wether he wants to stay with Atem forever or not. #16 Two Necromancers - unfinished Two necromancers. A prince and a thief. They both get resurrected to life to stop big threat to the world.What the two necromancers didn't account for was that they were sworn enemies. #17 Darkness beast  - unfinished This one is too long to explain so enjoy the short version Kaiba and Dartz open up a portal to a knight-and-dragon Era and get the kings of the land they opened the portal on at their sides, Dartz tries to provoke a war, Yugi tries to stop him, Atem goes missing and then Yugi has to take care of a shadow like creature, until Dartz decides to put it onto the chessboard and use it as a threath to Kaiba and his alliences. 

#18 Demons - unfinished Demons. When the world discovered that demons could be summoned to do one’s bidding, they didn’t quite understand what that meant. People were naïve and greedy. And it wouldn’t be long before one would summon something that nobody could control. Basically Ludus’s origin story. Needs a good solid rewrite.

#19 Mewtwo Yami  - unfinished A stupid crossover where Yami ends up  being raised by Mewtwo, thinks he is a pokemon, meets Yugi and wants to compete in pokemon battles (bullies Yugi into being his trainer so he can compete) to prove he is the strongest “pokemon” to make Mewtwo proud of him.

#20 The Assylum  - unfinished Another one of these fics. basically what you would expect. Yami has the ability to see monsters that disguise themselves as humans and exterminates them, Yugi thinks he is just a mentally sick, cold blooded killer. Truth is Yami is also a monster.

#21 Chasing You  - unfinished Ai Atem gets the task to find Yugi, so Atem can hold him in his arms, but Ai Atem has his own sights set on Kaiba. Feeling conflicted because he is more than a mere replica. He is better than that real Atem! Yet he wants to know what Atem and Yugi’s relationship was like. Was it love? Is that what he is feeling?

#22 The God Bird Au - unfinished One Day Harpies descended from the skies to terrorize the little village that Yugi lives in. When one sets his sights on Yugi, the youngster ignores him. He has bigger problems than listening to the flirting of an overgrown bird. And who is this snowy owl-creature that sounds so familiar? 

#23 He’s not a retard  - unfinished What is it with me and Yami being a killer? oh dear... Yami is an intelectually impaired, wheelchair-ridden person however he is what goes bump in the night. Yugi is his caretaker and never bargained for any of his shit. Not the part where he saves a plane from getting hijacked, and not the part where they get stuck in a tomb in egypt!

#24 Yami’s Angel  - unfinished I think this was like my first Yugioh Au  Yami finds a small, unconcious Angel and befriends the little guy and takes care of him. Yugi loves strawberries and chaos ensues because Yugi ALWAYS gets lost in public places. Later in the story he finds out Ryou has the same problem. Except he has a little devil. #25 The Wheelchair Au - unfinished  A combination of the two ideas above. Atem, after a suicidal attempt which caused him to lose both his legs and a finger, refuses to undergo any opperation which could make him use prostetic legs in order to walk again. With nobody to care for him, he stays at the hospital. However one night he hearsa small voice, which is Yugi, his guardian angel, and if they fuse, Atem regains his legs. However if they remain fused for longer than 3 hours, Yugi will disappear.

#26 Dancing in Eternal winter Yugi gets stuck on a mountain with a jock who doesnt understand any language Yugi knows. Spirit Animals are there to help. Yugi then realises that Yami is unable to reintigrate into society, because he has been living on his own all this time, surviving, and his spirit Animal would be much too dangerous. No matter how nice Gulo is.

#27 The Levitated Mansion  - unfinished Atem Lives in a wealthy family and loves to look at the stars with his telescope. However one day he sees a levitated mansion, the owner of said mansion has an eye on him. #28 Shapeshifters  - unfinished Yugi is working at an orphanage when he meets an old Ijiraat, a shapeshifter that you forget after seeing him. However the more time Yugi spends with him, the more he keeps remembering. #29 Sphinxson Yugi  - unfinished Atem lives in a village that has deemed him crazy because he swears he sees monsters. Kaiba is a monster hunter and decides to exploit the scared youth. Yugi is a Sphinx that cant wait for his human grandfather to return, but how long has it been? Just a few days, right?

#30 Pokemon  - unfinished Another Pokemon Au. Yugi is an Eevee that has been taken in by the Kaiba brothers, but after a mishap in the trophee room and Evolving into a Vaporeon, What will happen to the young pokemon? #31 We Are Not Alone - unfinished An Alien Refugee gets mistaken by the Egyptian people as a god, and teach him their ways, however another of his kind is on their way to kill him. Can Atem and Yugi fight this evil Alien or not? And Where is Atem’s family?  #32 Safe and Sound - unfinished A comfort/hurt oneshot fic where Yugi scolds Yami for hurting people, even if it is for protecting him. Basically the idea was that this event is what made Yami stop his evil penalty games.

#33 On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red rose between his teeth  - unfinished Yugi is a werewolf that mistakingly kills a sheep of Yami and Ryou’s farm. However Yami and Ryou do not seem to realise who their guest is until Yami finds Yugi’s bloodied clothes on the floor one day as he returns home. thinking th beast that fled out of the window devoured him whole. Yugi tries to keep running, not wanting Yami to know he is a beast, but Yami keeps hunting, dead on bringing the beast down. #34 Bone Datem  - unfinished A schooltrip to Egypt turns into chaos when Yugi gets trapped into a tomb and tries to make his way out. However when he finds a living Mummy that follows him around and wants him to steal the millennium puzzle from the Museum, he finds himself in an even bigger hastle than he bargained for.

#35 Unnamed genderbend Yugi Blindshipping Au  - unfinished Yami and Atem are two gang members that hate each other. However yami is a playboy and gets cursed by a witch. Everytime the sun is down he transforms into a girl. But this girl doesnt remember anything and thinks her name is Yugi. One time, yami does not get home in time and this leads to yugi meeting atem who instantly falls in love with her. Theres little things though like yami being able to see everything yugi does and sometimes controlling her body or mind. At one point when atem tries to kiss him, she punches him bc yami in no way is gonna kiss that bastard xD atem mistakes it as hes gone too far and yugi is just superconfused why she did that xD I already know what i want the end to be but its kind of a sad part on yami's part? Also there is a part where atem finds out yugi is actually yami or something

#36 The Superhero Au  - unfinished Yugi is in a happy relationship with his boyfriend atem but what he doesnt know is that Atem is also the Supervillain Yami. And Atem himself has no control over it whatsoever. The rules of the world is that one who can summon strong monsters are either superheroes or villains. However Yami can only summon a small little Kuroboh, and giving Yugi more trouble than ever. Atem on the other hand claims he has never been able to summon a monster before.

#37 Demon boyfriend Atem  This was supposedly a parody idea where Atem lost his temper way too quick and started yelling in a demonic voice (ind of like Aggretsuko lol) And Yugi wasnt really phased by it at all because at the end of the day he knows atem loves him xD Even if it scares his friends a little.

#38 I wanna steal your heart (and eat your brains)  - unfinished Title was based on a song. Yugi is a zombie and has been dating Atem and chaos ensuess. Kaiba also is a zombie and has been experimenting on himself and discovered some odd perks of being a zombie. (honestlyno plot just shenanigans and lovers quarrels)

[rainstormcolors]

it's totally cool if you'd prefer not to answer this (i've noticed it's a bit of a sensitive subject in fandom)- I was a bit curious, What did you personally think of the Ceremonial Duel?

This is a very good ask, though my answer may not be able tomeet that expectation.

The Ceremonial Duel is something of a multifaceted topic,isn’t it?  My own take, the reception itreceived overall by fans, and the behind the scenes aspect, as well as my ideafor how it both fits and clashes with various aspects of the series if I feellike including that break down too. It’s also something I’m not emotionallycharged on. My feelings on it are neutral and I’m able to see the merits ofboth sides of the argument of whether it’s a fine or garbage ending.

If I had to sum it up in one sentence: I think the endingwas very heavily foreshadowed from early on within the series, but it has majorproblems, and that Atem’s feelings were left so intentionally ambiguous isintriguing to me.

Prior to DSoD, as a lurker coasting around odd fandom spacesfrom time to time, I did have the impression YGO’s conclusion was somethingpeople were iffy on. As far as I’ve been able to gather, Japan’s fandom hadsome iffiness too. I think the announcement of The Darkside of Dimensionsreally illuminated the fandom divide on the ending in a way. There were manyfans who were flatly rejecting DSoD altogether on principle, but the film ofcourse set out to examine some of the wounds left in the wake of Atem’s departure,and that’s something many fans had also felt haunted by. (There are of coursefans who despise both the original ending and DSoD, and there are of coursefans who are alright with both the original ending and DSoD; my point is more noticingthe split of fans’ receptiveness to a continuation.)

People dissect apart that final duel to try justifying theirtake on Atem’s feelings. An expression that could be taken as somber, anexpression that could be taken as one of relief; dialog drops grabbed fromcharacters who are not Atem but instead projecting onto Atem; etc. The truth isthere isn’t an answer in canon on whether Atem definitely wanted to leave ordefinitely wanted to stay. His feelings were left ambiguous; and I find thatchoice intriguing. It would’ve been so simple to give lines to Atem announcinghis relief at finally being able to rest, or announcing his crushing pain athaving to depart from the world. Instead the event is treated like a mechanismof nature.

My personal interpretation on this ambiguity is this: “ifthe items wanted to reunite inside the Millennium Stone, if the items couldmanipulate their bearers for the sake of reuniting there, if the items had noconcern for human life… I don’t think it’s out of the question the MillenniumPuzzle planted an inescapable urge inside Atem to depart to the netherworld. Ithink it really is like a salmon swimming upstream to die.”That’s not to say I’m correct; it’s just my reading.

And I also wrote this bit some time back, back before the “discourse”regarding the finale bubbled over and became bright: “I think, like so manyshonen series, Yu-Gi-Oh! was ultimately a metaphor for the journey fromadolescence into adulthood. Yugi saw Atem as a kind of idealized self. “Youwere my goal,” as he says. Their relationship became much more complex thanthat, but I think Atem leaving was meant to symbolize Yugi letting go of thisidea of an idealized self, this person he thought he should become when he wasyounger, and accepting himself for who he is. The metaphor becomes messy thoughbecause Atem is a character in his own right, with his own identity and desiresand fears, and his departure does contradict several other messages of theseries (staking your worth on a game??).”

The characters left behind would be wounded. It would hurtand they’d be haunted. Atem was not Yugi’s idealized self. He was a person. Hewas their friend.

But I don’t actually hate the original ending, in partbecause it seemed so obvious to me. I feel the immense foreshadowing shouldn’tjust be brushed aside in this discussion. And the behind the scenes aspectlooms large here: there was no time to course correct for KT. Either he had toshatter all the foreshadowing he spent seven years crafting, or he had to sendoff Atem with exceedingly poor justification in text. By that time, he’d beenabandoned by his audience and may have felt little need to break away from theoriginal plan. But that doesn’t mean fans can’t be upset about it.

The precise reason fans are upset is because they care aboutthese characters so much; I have to respect that. It’s honest pain. There’ssomething sour with this ending to leave that kind of scar on fans. But I findthe occasional mocking and moralizing comments that have come up aimed atpeople who liked the ending to be uncalled for. Humans read into fiction invery individual ways, and I think that should also be respected. (Though I’ve beentold this situation of one side sometimes mocking the other used to be inreverse.)

If I have to play defense for the original conclusion, it’dbe in how I feel there’s shades of sad nostalgia enveloping those moments. Despitethe metaphor of growing up itself collapsing, the feeling of ghosts and lostthings from adolescence you can never get back is there.

Even for fans who see the ending as something uplifting andhopeful; it’s a personal feeling and reading. Yugi accomplished his goal of helpingsomeone who had helped him. Likely, they interpreted Atem’s expressions in the endas ones of relief.

(I actually realized not too long ago that the anime had itsown foreshadowing, unintentionally perhaps, in Noa Kaiba as he understands he’salready dead and must accept his fate.)

If I have any last thoughts to include, they are unneededbut it’d be that the longest fanfic I ever successfully completed kind of examinedthe holes in the finale. I have no intentions of ever posting this fic and havealready cannibalized pieces of it for other fics but it was like this: Atem,feeling the strange tug on his heart to go to Egypt but hesitant, decides he’llwait to make his decision. This enrages the Millennium Puzzle and it seals Ateminside, not allowing him to manifest or communicate with the world at all untilthe Millennium Items are gathered at the tomb in Egypt. Yugi units the Items insidethe Millennium Stone, at which time Horakhty emerges before Atem inside thePuzzle. The Items combined allow a wish, one far more powerful than anyindividual Item’s wish. Horakhty tells Atem this wish even has the power toreturn life to a ghost. But now see, this fic was an edgy angstfest whereanother character had been killed off near the beginning of the story. Atem hasno hesitation in spending his wish for this person, and time loops back. Atemis able to stop the accident from happening. No one else remembers anything.And as time moves forward again, that’s why Atem’s feelings are so nebulous andyet set on his departure from the world. …… I don’t know if this was relevantto include, but it seems kind of related.

Thank you for the ask. I hope I gave an adequate answer. I’mopen to the thoughts of others on this.

[the-cryptographer]

@red-eyes-blue-eyes​ replied to your post:

This would be like the longest fic ever... not that it's a bad thing. The first part of the plot reminds me of this one fic where Kaiba and Jou are married, then Atem's back so Kaiba ditches Jou for the same reasons (not but right away? They're having an affair first). He just can't live without him. But it's actually really sad. Yours is funny. I would love to see what other "funny" ways Jou has of ruining Kaiba's relationship.

Haha, thank you~

I honestly envisioned it as a relatively short fic that flashed through these key scenes kind of quickly. mmm, I think the way I imagined it was that, going into it, Jounouchi already felt frustrated with his relationship with Kaiba for this and that reason, and was anticipating things going awry even before Atem showed up - so that set the stage for their break-up not feeling like this big loss and would give the story a more comedic tone than a dramatic one. but, hmmm, even so it doesn’t really feel good to get dumped or rejected by someone, even by someone you were thinking about dumping or rejecting yourself, so i think dragging this story out would probably give it too many places to collect that kind of sadness. (although, the story would probably be from Atem’s POV, since he’s the one that’s most out-of-the-loop and discovering new dynamics that jou and kaiba are already familiar with)

i’m trying to remember what sparked this story idea to begin with, and I’m drawing a kind of blank. But I do know for a time I was trying hard to think of fic ideas that would pay their dues to both JouKai and prideship in a way? (Not necessarily in a romantic way, although this idea obviously encompassed romantic pride and JouKai and even some dragonship there at the end, lol) Quite a few of my JouKai fics make vague reference to Kaiba’s feelings for Atem, but I thought it would kind of be fun to have a more endgame!prideship kind of fic where Kaiba could have some complicated feelings about Jou that Atem is kind of ‘lolololololo’ about. I’ve since thought of another fic idea that has this aspect that I like better and feel more inclined to perhaps actually write. But, back to the basics, the gist is that Kaiba has a pretty strong emotional response to both Jou and Atem in canon and it’s kind of amusing to me how strongly he associates that response to Jou as negative/shameful/degrading/below-his-attention versus the response to Atem as positive/empowering/worthy. Which is kind of understandable given his interactions with Jou are somewhat more likely to dig up uncomfortable negative feelings and cognitive dissonance than interactions with Atem. (and also Jou’s an asshole who riles people up for ‘fun’) But Kaiba definitely reduces a more mixed bunch of emotional interactions with both of them to a more black/white type of cognition and value judgement. I suppose the idea behind my headcanon post was that I don’t think this kind of black/white thinking would hold up well if Kaiba were to actually compare a romantic relationship with each of them side-by-side, especially when a lot of the things that Kaiba struggles with in relationships - his own capacity for vulnerability, the fact that his partner would have individual wants/desires that sometimes conflict with his - are more his own issues than a matter of who, exactly, he’s with.

I would love to see what other "funny" ways Jou has of ruining Kaiba's relationship.

I said one time that the best part of any ygo ship - doesn’t matter which ship it is - was Jou and Kaiba ruining each other’s love lives. And it’s still true ;_; (joking)

Anyhow, thanks for commenting and letting me ramble and all - haha.

[kudalyn]

So I just read you're new fic and on top of being hot and steamy and AWESOME, ...I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS I MUST hear more! So obviously Yugi is a sorcerer of some kind but what is Atem? Some sort of transforming/transfiguration creature? Also, is Atem an empath? Or is he just keenly attuned to emotions via smell? How did they meet? What is their occupation? How did their bond grow? I MUST HAVE MORE

Thank you for liking it!! I’m glad you enjoyed!

While the AU’s story isn’t super fully developed, I have a good chunk of it worked out. I’ll share some stuff from some chatlog brainstorming for ya, cause it’s all I have time for with this story XDOne day it’d be nice to work out, but I got too many other long-fic writings on the go for me to juggle another unfortunately. 

(First thing’s first: while the smutfic is a part of this AU, I started working on it BEFORE I fleshed out more of the world and storyline, so some parts of the smutfic might not fully line up with events in the storyline. it’s more of a ‘what-if’ almost, but I’m undecided on that. Just a heads up if you’re wondering where it is in the storyline.)

Atem is a conduit, a type of magical human-or-other who more channel elements and energies rather than manipulate them like wizards and other magic users. Conduits are usually very powerful but dangerous cause they can get overwhelmed by the natural magic current and cause destruction to themselves and others.  normally conduits show their magic traits early on in life and are whisked away for strict training, or if need be, magical dampening. Atem never showed any magical inclination or skills, so it was assumed he was a non-magic.

But thru events in the story, turns out he’s not just a conduit, he’s a Demon Conduit, the most dangerous type and usually the type killed on sight instead of trained.

and because he was never trained and is naturally very powerful, he grabs the attention of a very powerful demon called Zorc, who uses his body and takes it over to come through to the physical plane.  but before Zorc was able to fully take control of Atem or get anchored in the physical realm, Atem fights back and all but tears Zorc’s soul from his body, and from Zorc’s power, and casts his soul back into the demonic realm, leaving Atem with massive amounts of demonic power completely untrained.

Atem was about to be killed on the spot because of this (he had passed out right after) but Yugi rushed in, and despite the danger and consequences, blinked the two of them out from danger and now they’re fugitives

Conduits are fairly empathic to feelings but it’s more of a ‘hunch’ than anything direct, but Demon Conduits are much more sensitive since demons feed on human emotions and desires. It becomes almost a scent at that point, but with the extra effect of osmosis-through-touch that can be overwhelming to the untrained.

——

The AU starts out with Yugi and Atem being kiddos and friends in a small village. they’re fast friends, almost to the point that Atem is possessive over Yugi. as they get a bit older, Yugi starts showing magical attributes and promise, and as a result has to leave their village to go to the city for training, because the village doesn’t have any magical teachers. 

Atem is, of course, incredibly upset and angry about it, to the point he convinces Yugi and him to try and run away together so they wont be separated. they get into trouble in the forest, and Yugi ends up saving the both of them with his magic instinctively. They are found and taken home, and Atem has to confront his possessiveness and the fact he will be losing his best friend for possibly years (its rare for magic academies to let students visit home during their training)

Yugi promises that no matter how long it takes he will come back for Atem. He thinks he’d be gone for at most a few years, but Atem knows that Yugi’s got too much promise for that and it will take a lot longer. They promise to write to each other at least, and Yugi is taken to the city leaving Atem alone (he doesnt have many other friends because he was a little hellion as a kid aka a milder season 0 almost)

Years pass, and Atem grows up without Yugi. It becomes really sour at one point when some of his distant family moves to the village, one of them being Mahad who is an excellent magical teacher. Atem rues that if he had moved there just a few years earlier then Yugi wouldn’t have had to leave, but things happen.

Atem eventually warms up to him, and his cousin Mana (who is far too loud and bubbly for his tastes but he gets used to it)Also Atem is kind of seen as a minor disappointment in his family of magic users, for he shows absolutely no inclination for magic at all, something else he’s bitter about. He tried for years to get magic to work for him, but it never did, so he kind of grows to hate it. He also becomes rather sharp and gets a bit of a gambling addiction (and minor love of alcohol) to the point he’s known in the region for some not so nice things. Nothing that would get him killed or arrested, but he’s not allowed in quite a few taverns for multiple reasons. 

Over the years he stopped returning Yugi’s letters, and eventually stopped opening them even, bitter about the separation and feeling betrayed the longer Yugi never comes back for him. He never got rid of them, buried in the bottom of a chest in his room, but he’s too hurt to open them Also he could never lie to Yugi, and is somewhat ashamed of how he’s turned out, and doesnt want Yugi to see who he’s turned into.

——

One year atem is visited by someone, and at first he’s rather blunt and rude to them, but turns out, it’s Yugi!! who he hardly recognized over the years until he got a good look at him, and oh jeese he’s cute

Yugi is a proficient magic user now, highly skilled and powerful using multiple magics thanks to his rareish open affinity to magic (most of the time it’s skewed to one speciality or another)It took him some time to untangle himself from the academy because they didnt want to let go of such a valuable student, but once he was deemed fully trained and free to research on his own he immediately aimed for his old home.Ends up dragging along a boorish and snobby prodigy called Seto who he somehow managed to befriend in some form of another, partly because the academy ordered Seto to go with Yugi for protection, partly cause Seto wanted to to stay by his friend (mokuba is back home studying himself so he’s safe)Atem’s floored by Yugi, ashamed of himself and is royally pissed towards Seto, kind of avoids Yugi as much as he can at first. Not like he can clean up his reputation even if he wanted to, and he doesn’t have much to his name besides being the best gambler in the region.Yugi sticks to him like a dustbunny attracted by static, you brush it off and it sticks to your hand no matter how much you wave it around

Yugi was a bit hurt by atem not returning his letters, but assumed it was for a good reason. Is more hurt when he learns that Atem stopped replying for multiple reasons, and is determined to help Atem shine again. He made a promise and by gum he will stick to it, he missed atem dearly.Atem’s hopelessly entranced by Yugi but constantly tries to detach himself. Its a very stubborn tug of war of wills until Atem eventually relents in an angry bout of yelling of how much he hates himself and how Yugi’s better off anywhere but with him, and Yugi helps piece Atem together and try to put him on the right path again.

—-

I havent quite decided on the trigger that will be Atem being discovered as a demon conduit, but it’d be pretty big. Possibly him constantly being around such powerful magic users, combined with possibly a trip to the city? Which would be drenched in magic and loosening the locks on his power. Also the emotional draining he’d go through first with Yugi and then being in the city around so many people all so full of themselves and looking down on non-magics (like him) that it’d probably bring back his old desperate wish for magical power, and that would be what Zorc would take advantage of.

The event would be explosive, not like in the middle of town but he’d be with at least Yugi, Seto, and some other characters when it happened.  He’d be [] this close to being lost before hauling himself back from the brink through pure willpower and rage at something taking advantage of him, and would split Zorc asunder and absorb his demonic energy because that is his body, by thunder, gtfo

Atem collapses outright after it happens, his body slowly turning human back from its shifted hulking form that Zorc forced it in to, and Seto steps up absolutely ready to obliterate Atem on the spot. He’s far too dangerous to be allowed to exist, particularly so close to the capital and other sources of magic, and he’s never liked Atem anyways.

Yugi dashes in front of him, up to Atem, trying to get him to wake up. Atem’s out cold and trying to move him is like trying to carry a load of sopping towels. Seto demands Yugi move, or do the dirty work himself, because he knows Yugi knows Atem is dangerous. 

Yugi refuses, and despite knowing the consequences, blinks the both of them away from the spot and out to who knows where before Seto or anyone else can stop themThus begins Yugi and Atem’s life as fugitives, because Atem won’t be allowed to live and Yugi would be imprisoned and have his magic sealed for treachery.

:3

I got a bit more brainstormed out after this, like some more of Atem and Yugi’s bond forming, their life on the run, but you gotta send another ask for those deets~

[daltarian]

Contre-Jour

-

Contre-jour ("against daylight"): a photographic technique in which the camera is pointing directly toward a source of light. 

This will eventually be on AO3, and will change to a fic link. For now, have some puzzleshipping fic directly on Tumblr. 

This is basically a rumination on the ending but from a post-canon fix it perspective instead of total post-canon angst. It’s meant to tie in to an eventual story I’m writing about Yuugi taking a third option with the whole ‘Atem is a ghost’ problem, but that isn’t finished yet. So, context: this is a good chunk post-DSoD, and both are 19 or so here. Thanks to aforementioned third option shenanigans, Atem is a flesh-and-blood human with Kaiba-derived fake ID.

Warning:��Someone has something approaching a panic attack in this one. If that is a trigger for you, be careful.

--------------------

“It will be good to finally have an unpacked apartment. I think Jounouchi is starting to get upset that we haven’t invited him over for dinner yet.”

Yuugi wouldn’t admit it if asked, but he’s only half-listening. It’s a warm afternoon and they’ve been working on unpacking the apartment all day - Atem is just hanging with those new gray curtains that Yuugi’s mother sent, and the bedroom will be finished. He’s considering rewarding himself for all this productivity with a nap.

Atem lets out a satisfied hum as he steps gracefully off the chair, curtains closed and hung neatly. "After I'm done with class tomorrow, perhaps we could have our friends over. Assuming you still have the day off?"

Yuugi realizes he’s been asked a question, and glances up from his deep contemplation of the afternoon’s napping possibilities. “Huh? Yeah, that--”

Atem opens the curtains with a dramatic snap, letting sunlight stream into the room and startling Yuugi with the sudden brightness. The gold of afternoon gives Atem a striking silhouette, the curtains parting like doors against the sun.

...like stone doors.

Atem, outlined in blinding light --

Yuugi can’t breathe.

He feels a chill on his spine, the coldness of a tomb, but he can’t seem to turn from that awful image. There is the terrible ringing of silence inside his head, silence where a companion lived, all the louder for its nonexistence. Spots flicker and dance across his vision, and that emptiness presses on his lungs until all the air feels squeezed out of him.

He is dimly aware that someone is speaking to him, but his thoughts are spinning in circles and it’s hard to pay attention to anything else.

“-ner, are you --? Partner? ...Yuugi?”

Yuugi squints against the tunnel encroaching on his vision, turning toward that voice. A figure looms in front of him, finally blocking enough of the light for him to see its face. It looks worried for some reason - for a brief moment even panicked - if he could think straight he’d ask it what’s wrong, but he can’t seem to find any air.

Strong hands settle on his shoulders and the voice is one he knows. “Breathe, partner.” He tries, pushes against the weight on his lungs, and the flickering recedes a little. The voice speaks again, confident, commanding. “That’s it, good. Exhale… and now inhale.”

He follows the instructions, slowly emerging from the dizziness over the next few breaths, until Atem - because it’s Atem, he’s capable of understanding that now - seems to trust him to keep managing it on his own.

The other leans over him, tanned hands lying careful on his shoulders, ready to retreat or support. “Can you tell me what you need?” His voice is cautious, soft, like speaking to a frightened animal. Yuugi feels like he might not be far off the mark on that one.

Yuugi leans his head to the side, pushing his cheek into one of those hands. He reaches for Atem’s shirt and clutches, too shaky to pull, but thankfully Atem steps forward enough so Yuugi can press his ear against his chest. There’s a beat there, elevated maybe, but strong and steady.

Atem is here, Atem has a heartbeat, Atem is... asking him a question. “What day is it? On the calendar?”

The calendar? Why does that matter now? Yuugi thinks for a moment and answers. “It’s the 12th. Sunday.” That silence is still ringing in his mind. No one’s brain should be so quiet when their thoughts are spinning so madly.

“Can you name the cards you’ve got in your deck, partner?”

Huh. He supposes he can, if he thinks about it. He just built it last week. “Drowning Mirror Force. Gaia Plate. Resurrection of the Dead - ” He remembers the golden chest, the ankh, the final blow - that light -

Atem makes an encouraging noise, and Yuugi remembers he still has a question to answer. His deck, right. “Block Dragon, Release from Stone, Aroma Jar…” By the time he's halfway through, that awful emptiness has faded, dispelled by his own distracted mumbling and the steady thump of a heartbeat. It’s swiftly replaced by mortification.

He stops naming cards and groans in embarrassment, curling further into Atem’s chest to avoid having to look at him. To his credit, Atem doesn’t laugh or even chuckle. “All right now, Yuugi?”

He nods into Atem’s shirt awkwardly, words muffled against the loose fabric. “Yes. ‘M sorry you had to see that.”

Atem lets out a small grunt of disagreement and curls an arm gently around his back. The embrace is reassuring, settling some of his still jangling nerves. “We never have to hide from each other, partner.”

Yuugi winces as his own words are thrown back at him. It’s enough to make him lean back and finally look up into those concerned eyes. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Atem shakes his head in dismissal. “That doesn’t matter. How many times have you done this for me, now?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course; they’re not keeping score, here. He tries to deflect. “It’s nothing. I just… remembered something.”

Atem’s eyes narrow slightly, and it’s clear the lie won’t pass unchallenged. “It’s not nothing, Yuugi. Did something trigger it?”

Shit, he’s caught. Yuugi was hoping to never have to bring this up, it’s so ridiculous - he feels like a child. “It was… the light. And the curtains. You were silhouetted - you looked -”

He doesn’t need to finish before Atem’s eyes widen in understanding. “...Ah. Well, then.” He lets go of Yuugi, but offers him a hand instead, a clear invitation to stand. Yuugi takes it. Atem continues, “How about we make some tea? Then we can sit down and figure this out.”

At least he’ll have a little time to sort out his thoughts. “Tea sounds nice, yes. Do we have to talk about it, though?”

Atem is already headed out toward the kitchen. “Yes.”

Damn.

~~~

Making the tea is surprisingly comforting. It’s domestic, pleasant even, despite neither of them being particularly skilled at brewing tea. By the time Atem sets the tray on the table, Yuugi almost feels ready to talk about this.

They settle on the couch, and for a brief moment Yuugi is pleased they decided to go for the biggest one in the store. It means he can stretch out without crushing anyone or having to drape his legs over the armrest, and he takes advantage now. (He also steals the opportunity to put his head in Atem’s lap, because it’s comfortable and he appreciates the closeness. Atem raises a brow at him - he can’t exactly drink his tea this way - but whatever.)

Yuugi’s not sure where to start, and Atem doesn’t seem to be either, so it takes a while before either of them says anything. Eventually, though, Atem puts his tea down and looks down at Yuugi. He’s wearing a serious face, almost grim, so Yuugi prepares to explain why he never mentioned having… difficulties.

Atem manages to surprise him. “I hurt you, Yuugi. When I left.”

Yuugi instinctively frowns and tries to negate it. It’s not Atem’s fault that he-- that he had to go, that destiny made him go. That Yuugi struck him down and sent him away. “No, you didn’t mean - ”

Atem interrupts him, a bit sharply. Perhaps this is hard for him to talk about, too. “I did, hurt you. At the time, there weren’t better choices, but I did. We should have discussed it when we had the chance.”

Yuugi blinks. This conversation is not going where he thought it’d go. He hesitates as he thinks over their discussion that night on the ship… or lack thereof. “Yeah, we probably should have. I guess we never really talked about what it meant, did we?”

Atem lets out a soft huff, the kind he makes when mocking his own decisions. “No. I suspect you were avoiding thinking about it in much detail, just as I was.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Yuugi shifts slightly and meets those dark eyes again while he thinks it over. “I think… it wasn’t just that we were avoiding the subject. I think maybe we got so used to knowing each other without talking, we sort of… forgot that we needed to.”

Atem mulls that one himself a bit. “I think you’re right, partner. But if it’s still bothering you this much, maybe we should fix part of that now.”

“Now? You mean… talk about what happened then?” Yuugi isn’t really sure he wants to do this. There’s still anxiety thrumming in him now, after everything. It’s not easy to discuss killing your best friend.

Atem seems to have no such trouble, though. “Yes.” He lifts a hand to run it gently through Yuugi’s hair, playing with one of the blond strands while he talks. “I didn’t leave the living world because I wanted to. There just wasn’t… the other option was unacceptable.”

Yuugi nods in agreement. “Yeah. You being trapped in the Puzzle for eternity, unable to move on - it wasn’t a fate anyone would want.”

Atem hums thoughtfully, shaking his head. “That’s true. But that wasn’t why. It was a part of it, maybe, but not… the main reason.”

“It wasn’t?” Yuugi’s definitely unsure now. He’d always thought Atem agreed with Ishizu’s perspective - that his time was over and he should move on. Though… maybe some things about that theory didn’t make sense.

Atem looks hesitant for a moment, before shaking it off and pushing forward with his usual directness. “I didn’t want to steal your life from you. You were sharing everything with me, partner. Things that... weren’t mine to take. I couldn’t be so selfish as to demand them of you for a lifetime.”

Yuugi thinks that he might actually have been okay with that. But it doesn’t matter now, so he doesn’t need to say it. “So you left… you chose to fight the Duel because you thought you were…”

“...A parasite. I was a ghost, and you would have given up your dreams for mine, partner. How many times did having me with you nearly kill you? How many wounds did you bear for my sake?” Atem grits his teeth now, staring across the room at nothing. Yuugi recognizes self-loathing on his face - something he’d never much associated with Atem, all outward pride and royal confidence.

Okay, he’s got to stop this train leaving the station. He reaches up to touch Atem’s chin, guiding his gaze back down. “I did all those things because they were worth it, other half. You were worth it.” After a few slip ups with his old phrasing - Atem is definitely not his ‘other me’ any longer - he adapted it slightly. Now it's a pet name, an overly sappy joke between them, and he catches a tiny smirk when he uses it. Good, it’s a start. “Not to mention the whole, saving the world multiple times. Seems like it’s worth a few bruises.”

He doesn’t stop long enough to let Atem argue with him on this one. “I never thought you wanted to leave us. Even if you had to. It’s why I made so sure to prove I’d be alright.”

“Prove? You mean…”

Yuugi nods. “I took you on in that Duel for a lot of reasons. One of them was that I didn’t think anyone else could beat you, sure. Maybe Kaiba,” and now Atem looks vaguely offended so he better hurry up with his point here, “but probably not. But I also wanted to show you that you didn’t need to stay and save me. That I could… that what you’d taught me was enough for me to be on my own. I needed to know that, but I also had to show you that. So that you wouldn’t worry.”

Atem is shaking his head now, looking amused. “It seems we really should have had this conversation a long time ago, partner.”

Yuugi chuckles lightly. It is vaguely amusing, in a bittersweet sort of way. But this next part will be harder. “I did, you know. Go on without you, I guess. I was strong enough, but… that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, every day.”

Dark eyes watch him with that all too familiar worry. “Partner…”

Yuugi has to keep going or he’ll never finish, so he barrels on ahead. He didn’t really want to talk about this part, but now it seems like he needs to. There needs to be honesty between them. “Anzu and Grandpa somehow managed to convince me to see a grief counselor, actually.”

Atem makes a soft noise of distress and leans down, pulling Yuugi further into his lap. Yuugi doesn’t mind being closer at all. 

He continues, “It was really hard to talk about. I didn’t want to… to burden anyone, or be seen as weak like I used to be. And… I couldn’t talk about a lot of things with someone who wasn’t there with us.” He swallows, the first hint of a sob welling up in his throat. Damn it, he’d promised himself not to cry. “How could I tell anyone that I felt like I’d killed my best friend, when there was never any proof said best friend ever existed in the first place?”

Atem breathes out in shock, eyes wide, mouth open. “Oh, partner, no… Don’t ever think…”

“I was the one that beat you, Atem. I used that Sarcophagus, I told Silent Magician to finish it. It was necessary and we both knew it, sure, we had really good reasons, fine, but there was still a part of me that felt like I’d shoved you right through that door myself. And then had to be all right with it like everyone got what they wanted!” Definitely tears, now. Fuck, this was not supposed to go this way.

Strong arms pull him up and fold him in, and it’s the second time in an hour he’s had his face pressed into Atem’s chest. A soft, choked sound at least tells him he’s not the only one crying. “Partner, no, no, don’t… It wasn’t that way, you helped me, you let me go - I was so proud of you. I was grateful, but you- You took that burden and carried it… all this time?”

Yuugi sniffs and decides that maybe a few tears are acceptable in this situation. “I-- I had to. Like you said, there wasn’t another way. Not right then.” He swallows, feeling like something in him has burst, grief and anger draining away and leaving him… clean. And, somehow, calm. He finally shifts to sit up fully, slinging his legs across Atem’s lap so he can lean on one arm of the couch and actually face him. “After a little while, it-- it wasn’t as bad as I’m making it sound.”

Atem is looking at him, still upset and clearly not believing that last one. Yuugi presses on. “No, really. I knew your story… our story, had ended. I had accepted that - well, was accepting it, it was a process, don’t glare at me like that - and I was moving on. It just took some time to… I hadn’t figured out yet where to go with my story. Up until the thing with Kaiba, and Aigami.”

Yuugi feels Atem's hard breath, his stiffness at the mention of the name. Atem had never really forgiven Diva for what he'd tried to do, still felt the Pharaoh's rage at someone who would cross such lines. He lifts a hand to Atem's shoulder and squeezes lightly, supporting, and eventually the muscles beneath him relax. Good, hopefully now they can both be calm.

He should finish his point. “After all that, well. Seeing you disappear… again, was hard. But that time - that time I knew where to go next. I fixed it,” and he raps his knuckles against the solid muscle of Atem’s arm for emphasis.

There’s a bit of a pause before Atem responds; Yuugi suspects he’s collecting himself after the crying. But when he does, there’s a wry humor in his tone. “This bit I know, partner. I was there.”

Yuugi chuckles, mostly in relief that they’ve gotten past the hard part. “That was the point, wasn’t it?”

Atem rolls his eyes and clears his throat. “Yes, well. The period we were separated wasn’t all that simple for me, either.”

Wait, what? This is the first he’s hearing about this. He fixes the ex-Pharaoh with a look of confusion. “What do you mean?”

Atem sighs and leans into him, averting his gaze. Yuugi’s noticed he does that a lot when he’s admitting what he thinks is a weakness. “The afterlife wasn’t as simple as everyone made it out to be. Time, or I suppose the perception of time was… skewed, there.” He hums, absently moving a hand to rest against Yuugi’s back. “I had a lot of adjusting to do. People I hadn’t seen in three millennia, who talked to me like Zorc was yesterday. Everyone expected me to be this great, wise Pharaoh when from my perspective, I’d spent the last two years playing ridiculously high-stakes card games and tagging along on your trips to Burger World. I... wasn’t sure if I belonged.”

Yuugi is leaning into that hand on his back, not quite as absently as Atem had put it there. He picks up Atem’s free hand and starts to play with it a little as he ponders this new information. “...huh. I guess I never thought about it like that. I expected that with your memories back, you’d fit right in.”

Atem slides his hand along Yuugi’s, intertwining their fingers as he continues. Yuugi’s surprised to hear him sound sad. Wistful, even. “No. It didn’t feel like home.” He squeezes Yuugi’s hand lightly. “Not to mention I was missing you, too, partner. That might have been the hardest. It was like…”

Yuugi knows all too well. “...a hole in your head?”

Now Atem looks up, meeting his gaze with surprise. “Exactly. Exactly like that. Like something that was always part of me had vanished. I’d turn to say something, and it would take a moment to realize I was talking to the air.”

Yuugi smiles, bittersweet at their shared understanding of such an awful feeling. “I guess people really aren’t meant to be connected like we were, huh? Too hard to let go.”

Atem’s response is firm, his natural confidence returning. “I don’t know, but that doesn’t really matter to me. ‘Meant to’ or not, I wouldn’t give those memories up for anything, partner. Memories of you or any of our friends, but especially you.”

Yuugi swallows, slightly awed by the fierceness of that statement. Well! He certainly feels appreciated. He croaks, “Y-Yeah. Me either, other half.” The joke doesn’t seem overly sappy just now.

“Yuugi. I can’t guarantee that the world won’t try to pull us apart again.” Yuugi is pinned by the warm weight of Atem’s gaze, that strength which is his birthright. “But if it does, this time I won’t be walking away. I’ll be fighting with every step to get back… to get home.” Those eyes soften then, an adoring look that Yuugi suspects only he ever gets to see. “I won’t accept losing you twice.”

Yuugi leans forward until their foreheads touch, and shivers a little with the intimacy of it. Something about this feels… powerful. Lasting. “That makes two of us.”

Neither of them say anything for the next few minutes, content to breathe each other’s air and settle. Yuugi closes his eyes. Eventually the heavy atmosphere passes, and Yuugi feels nothing but content to be this close. Atem’s quiet sigh of satisfaction suggests he feels the same.

Then the ex-Pharaoh speaks, sounding thoughtful. “You know…”

Yuugi’s still got his eyes closed, and yet he can hear the smirk. Intuition warns him that he’s not going to like whatever Atem says next. He takes the bait anyway. “Hmm?”

“If you were that desperate for a piece of this,” Yuugi refuses to look at the gesture Atem is undoubtedly making right now, he won’t give him the satisfaction, “you could always have asked Kaiba for some alone time with that A.I.-- ”

Atem is interrupted by the swift justice of a pillow to the face. It’s a safe bet that he doesn’t really mind.

[sage-nebula]

★ ☆ ☠ ♡ for Jounouchi?

★ Sad Headcanon:

In all honesty, Jounouchi has many, many reasons to be depressed. His dad has been an abusive alcoholic for about as long as Jounouchi can remember, and has been racking up gambling debts for just as long. In childhood his parents fought near constantly, and this only ceased when he was ten and his mother moved out, taking Shizuka with her but leaving Jounouchi behind with his father. After she left, when he was barely eleven (if he was eleven—he might have still been ten) he received a waver so that he could work part-time jobs (a paper route for sure—that’s canon—but I personally believe he has other ones here or there that he keeps on the down-low) so that he could make ends meet, given that his father is both unemployed and, as stated, a gambler. He fell into gang life in middle school, had a toxic / abusive friendship (“friendship”) with Hirutani during this time that followed him to high school, and even in high school it isn’t as if his problems have gone away. Hirutani stops being an issue, but his dad is still an abusive drunk. He’s still the sole breadwinner for their household. Shizuka is going blind and though he manages to win the prize money for her operation (in the manga, he and Atem never dueled; they mutually agreed he would take the prize money while Atem went after Pegasus), it was still hard. He was a sixteen-year-old boy who felt responsible for his little sister’s eyesight. There is a big problem with putting that kind of weight and responsibility on a teenager’s shoulders.

So Jounouchi has many reasons to be depressed, many reasons to angst … but the thing is, Jounouchi hates feeling sadness. And that might seem obvious, because no one likes being sad, but what I mean is that when Jounouchi is depressed, he tends to get angry along with that depression, because he hates the feeling of helplessness that sadness gives him, hates the feeling of weakness that it permeates him with. Jounouchi has felt powerless at many different points in his life. He was powerless as a small child to stop his dad from being an abusive drunk, powerless to stop his mother from abandoning him, powerless in the face of his father’s debts. He has always tried to not be powerless—he used his own body to protect Shizuka whenever their dad lashed out at her, for instance, and has worked part-time jobs to support the household and try to pay his father’s debts—but that doesn’t change the fact that, as a child / adolescent / teenager, he doesn’t have enough power to do very much against things like a massive gambling debt, no matter how much he tries. For him, sadness is attached to that sense of powerlessness; at least if he’s angry, that feels productive, like he can channel that anger into doing something about it. Depression, on the other hand, is despair; it’s spawned from a sense of helplessness and an inability to do anything to change the situation at hand. Crying over his mom abandoning him when he was ten didn’t bring her back. Feeling like he’s a worthless piece of trash (and we know that, in canon, he has felt this way—he straight up says in Death-T that he hated himself at the start of the manga, and we see continuing self-deprecation throughout Duelist Kingdom and the rest of the series that shows us that his self-esteem issues are not gone) didn’t do anything to stop him from being a worthless piece of trash (in his eyes), and that made him angry. Typically, even when Jounouchi falls prey to depression and sadness, there are always flashes of anger and bitterness there. Even in what I consider to be my magnum opus, Whispers in the Dark, while Jounouchi is understandably very depressed throughout the fic, he’s still bitter and angry at his situation (and especially Hirutani) as well. It’s not just that he’s sad and brooding; rather, even when his thoughts are spiraling to dark places, there’s still a lot of anger there to go with it. Loathing for himself, loathing for Hirutani … whatever the case, it’s not just that he’s sad. Rather, the fact that he’s so depressed just spurs his anger even more, because he hates feeling so weak.

So all in all, Jounouchi—particularly in canon—tries to actively fight feelings of sadness. He’d much rather take that sadness and find a reason to be pissed off about it, because to him, anger is more productive and it feels better to be angry than sad. Anger he can at least do something with, in his mind, even though he often ends up turning that anger on himself. Sadness is helplessness and weakness, and he hates feeling that way, and so he avoids it if he can. (Again, sometimes he can’t—and later in life he does have a period of depression when he’s refusing to allow himself to openly return Yuugi’s feelings because he feels like he’s not good enough for Yuugi, and that’s mostly just depression rather than anger—but for the most part, he actively resists being sad because he hates how that feels. If he has to feel a negative emotion, let him be pissed off. He doesn’t just want to be depressed. And yes, things do work out and he ends up allowing himself to openly return Yuugi’s feelings and they’re very happy together, but it’s a whole ordeal because he holds himself back for a long time, despite both Honda and Anzu telling him to go for it. It gets better, but it’s an ordeal at first.)

☆ Happy Headcanon:

Where Jounouchi hates feeling sadness, he loves feeling happy. Again, given his life circumstances, happiness has been hard to come by for quite some time. His home life was nothing cheerful, particularly after his mother took Shizuka away and abandoned him, and middle school—while it had its fun moments—wasn’t a basket of rainbows either. Yes, he met Honda in junior high and the two of them have a positive and good friendship (and hanging out with Honda was definitely among the brighter moments of middle school), but he also did a lot of things in junior high that he is not proud of and his relationship with Hirutani was, as mentioned, toxic. We actually see how miserable Jounouchi is at the very start of the manga, when high school has newly started for him; he scoffs at Yuugi’s idealism, and the idea that Yuugi has a treasure, and later confesses in Death-T that it wasn’t Yuugi that he hated at all, but rather himself. Jounouchi was depressed and angry and filled with self-loathing prior to befriending Yuugi, something not helped (I’m sure) by the fact that he repressed his nerdy interests in an effort to seem manly and fit in. (Because we see how much of a nerd he is in canon, how much he loves games and action figures, but he didn’t openly show this until befriending Yuugi.) But after befriending Yuugi, happiness is a lot easier to come by. Even though his home life and family situation both still suck, spending time with Yuugi allows Jounouchi to freely engage in his passions and interests without fear of judgment, and Yuugi himself is a confidant that Jounouchi trusts heart and soul. He’s at his happiest when the two of them are playing a game together, or watching anime together, or … er, watching “independent adult films” together (and Takahashi confirmed that they do watch porn together, jfc), or whatever else. Being with Yuugi makes it easy for Jounouchi to forget, even temporarily, the dark parts of his life. Jounouchi can fully be himself around Yuugi, and finds hope, inspiration, strength, and courage in Yuugi just as much as Yuugi finds it in him.

That totally not shippy (read: it’s shippy, I’ll own it) bit aside, it’s because Jounouchi has had plenty of times and reasons to not be happy that he actively tries to be happy. Jounouchi doesn’t take things for granted; he knows, perhaps better than some, that happiness is not guaranteed and should be cherished when he has it. He knows that it’s better to be happy than to give into misery, has learned now that hope is something worth having and optimism is not something to scoff at. He knows that there’s strength in joy, in friendship, and love. So even when it comes to little things, even if it’s something small and silly, if it makes him happy he chases it and doesn’t care what others think. He’s learned to have confidence in himself and to just unironically enjoy the things he enjoys. If it makes him happy, it’s good, and that’s that.

So with that said, things that make him happy are: Spending time with his friends (especially Yuugi, as mentioned); spending time with his little sister; playing games (both board and video); watching anime and reading manga; good music (his favorite band is Siam Shade); delicious food (as someone who lives in poverty it’s no wonder he pounces on good food when he can get it); putting together garage kits and models; riding his bike, exercising, or otherwise being active, and other things here or there. He cherishes all of these things and has no problem making that known.

☠ Angry / Violent Headcanon:

Oh boy.

As mentioned, Jounouchi prefers to be angry rather than sad. Anger is productive, anger makes him feel like he has some power or control that he can use to fight back against whatever is making him depressed. Having grown up in an abusive household, Jounouchi shows signs of C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) that are most apparent in his difficulties with emotional regulation. Jounouchi has a quick and hot temper; when he’s aggravated, he’s pissed, and he wastes no time in letting the irritant know it. He also, depending on the circumstances, wastes no time in getting violent over it. He straight up attacks the camera crew before asking questions in Vol. 1, Ch. 2, and as late as the Battle City arc wastes no time in beating the shit out of the two guys who punched Malik back when Jounouchi first met him (and thought Malik was a good guy who had helped Bakura). While in both cases he was being protective over someone (Yuugi in the first, Malik in the second), the fact remains that Jounouchi’s temper was sparked, and immediately ignited into a blaze of fire. Even setting aside acts of violence like that, we see that it’s not hard for him to snap or yell if he gets irritated, that it takes three of his friends to drag him off Kaiba in Duelist Kingdom (okay, that was violent again), that he has a very mercurial temperament and can go from reasonably content to snapping fairly quickly if someone provokes him. When Jounouchi feels things, he feels them very strongly, and this includes things like anger, which for him can spiral into violence due to the fact that he grew up in a household with an abusive father, and these things can embed themselves in a child’s psyche. Jounouchi saw violence and had it normalized growing up, and while he won’t hit girls (he hated when his father would hit his mother, and used his own body to defend Shizuka, and also—thanks to the toxic masculinity his father instilled in him—sees girls as not being as strong, physically, as guys and thus won’t hit or push them), he has absolutely no problems decking a guy in the face. We see this, time and again, in the series. To Jounouchi, violence can easily be a solution to a problem. Maybe there are better ways to handle it—Yuugi certainly thinks so—but punching a bastard in the face is definitely one of Jounouchi’s preferred methods for doing so, because this is what he learned growing up, this is what he internalized, and his temper can spark white-hot when he’s provoked.

(Note: None of this is to say that he has an out of control, violent temper, because he doesn’t. But his mercurial temperament does speak to difficulties with emotional regulation (particularly when he has outbursts, such as when he snapped that he could never trust Kaiba at the start of the Duelist Kingdom arc, and once again shouted at Bakura for even suggesting Kaiba could have some good in him at Pegasus’ castle). Jounouchi would never hit someone he cares about and fuck anyone who even suggests it. So believe me, I’m not saying Jounouchi can’t control his temper or that he would ever hit someone he loves, because he would not. He would never. Don’t get it twisted.)

With all of that said, Jounouchi has in the past used this tendency toward violence as a way of self-destruction and self-harm. Jounouchi hated himself at the start of the series / pre-canon, he routinely got into fights in junior high, and he was in Hirutani’s gang on top of that. We know, based on what we know of Jounouchi’s character and also from what others who knew him back then (Honda and Hirutani, namely) say about him, that Jounouchi picked most, if not all, of the fights he got into back then. Part of this was due to wanting some measure of control and power over his life, some way to feel better about himself and his situation. He’s “the best at fighting,” as he tells Bandit Keith in Duelist Kingdom after knocking him to the floor, and we can tell that this is not a lie, not something he’s making up. Jounouchi earned the right to think that about himself during all the fights he got into in junior high, due to the name he made for himself through those fights, and getting into fights that he could actually win for once did something to (in a twisted way) boost his self-esteem and make himself feel good about something. He might have been worthless trash, but at least this was something he was good at, at least this was something he could do. And even if he was bruised and aching by the time he dragged himself him, the other guys were always in worse shape, and at least these were fights he chose. It wasn’t like when his dad kicked him around. These fights were ones he wanted, ones he won, ones he had control over. These fights and this violence was something that he had power in. It was self-destruction, but it was controlled self-destruction, so he was far more comfortable with it.

And it was self-destruction. As I said, this is Jounouchi’s way of self-harming. Jounouchi doesn’t cut, doesn’t do drugs, and does not drink alcohol (I swear the idea of him drinking is so OoC, considering his father’s alcoholism broke their family apart, has helped drive them into debt, and spurs his abuse toward Jounouchi, so the mere idea that Jounouchi would drink and be anything remotely like his dad is beyond ridiculous), but he does pick fights that leave him bruised and bleeding. He fights, and fights, and fights until he’s so exhausted and hurt he can barely think anymore. The severity of this depends on how bad his circumstances are—it fluctuated in middle school, and doesn’t really happen in high school until the tail end of Whispers—but it’s definitely his self-destruction / self-harm method of choice. He gets himself into fights so that he can work through all the negativity within him through external violence that he both inflicts on others and that they inflict on him.

So to recap: Jounouchi prefers anger over sadness, has a quick and hot temper due to emotional regulation issues, would never hit someone he cares about but has no qualms about laying the smackdown on someone who deserves it (provided they’re male because, again, he won’t hit girls), and purposefully picks fights when he’s in a dark place mentally because that’s how he self-destructs / self-harms (and, in junior high, tried to make himself feel like he had some power and control in his life). That about sums it up.

♡ Romantic Headcanon:

For the longest time, Jounouchi is not much of a romantic, and isn’t interested in serious relationships. Part of this has to do with his parents’ failed marriage; their marriage was toxic for pretty much his entire childhood and ultimately fell apart, and while he knows that not everyone = his parents (and while he certainly is loath to be like either one of them, but especially loath to be anything remotely like his father), that sort of thing still sticks in a child’s psyche. Jounouchi doesn’t have any idealism or optimism toward the idea of romantic relationships, and as such he doesn’t even really entertain the idea of a serious, committed relationship until his early twenties (and even then, it’s just one specific committed relationship that he wants in his early twenties). Before then, in the time post-high school and before his one serious relationship, Jounouchi bounces from casual relationship to casual relationship. He dates around when he can and has fun. Even when some of the girls he dates want him to commit, he doesn’t because he just doesn’t feel that strongly about them (like, they’re hot, and they’re cool, and he likes them a lot, but he’s not in love with them and doesn’t want to commit, and some of them don’t take this very well), and doesn’t want a serious relationship. Casual relationships, without all the deep-seated romantic ties, are where it’s at for him.

This changes when he falls in love with—or rather, when he lets himself realize, accept, and embrace the fact that he has fallen in love with—Yuugi. Yuugi is the first (and only) person Jounouchi ever wants to spend the rest of his life with. While Jounouchi still isn’t fond of stuffy, fancy dates on the regular (and fortunately, neither is Yuugi), for the first time he actually cares about making an effort toward romance, rather than just seeing dates and the like as something he has to get through in order to get to more fun hangouts or make-outs. Christmas Eve is a romantic holiday in Japan (akin to our Valentine’s Day here in the west), and it’s after he and Yuugi enter into a romantic relationship that he actually cares about celebrating it for the first time in his life, and puts real care and effort into planning an awesome trip to Tokyo for himself and Yuugi to celebrate. (Note: They get together when they’re about 23/24, so yeah—early twenties.) Just as Yuugi gave him optimism and hope for life in general back when they became friends, Yuugi also reignites the hope and optimism toward love and romance that Jounouchi didn’t have beforehand. Jounouchi becomes serious about (romantic) love and becomes more romantic because he’s serious about Yuugi. Falling in love with Yuugi, and realizing and accepting those feelings, opened Jounouchi up to that and made him want and actively pursue a deep, serious relationship, rather than just the casual ones he had before.

As a final note on that, Jounouchi is biromantic/bisexual. Growing up he thought of himself as straight, largely due to the toxic masculinity he had instilled in him, but as he grew older, more comfortable with himself, and dropped the toxic masculinity he realized his attraction to men as well. He still has a preference toward women (as Yuugi, despite being panromantic/pansexual, does as well), but he is still bi nonetheless (and again, in a committed relationship with Yuugi, so). It just took him a while to realize that.

[evilkitten3]

Ad Nihilum, Chapter Five: Reunions

AN: This story is getting attention! Yay! I even got a fic rec! I'm pretty psyched about that, as you can imagine. I'm so happy that people are enjoying this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy what's to come! Please let me know what you think, and have fun reading! Kitty out.

Warnings: Flashbacks, nightmares, death, various dark shit, disassociation, poor life choices, more existential nonsense, more dialogue than I'm used to writing, and possibly also a hug (Kaiba-style, so it's less of a hug and more a grunt of acknowledgement)

That night, Yuugi – and Marik too, most likely, even if he can't remember it clearly – dreams of knives and fire and cruel laughter. He wakes up sobbing, Atem rubbing his shoulders, and has to feel his face to make sure it's still intact. He wants to apologize to the Thief, but the look on the other's face when he comes in clogs up the words in his throat like hot molasses and he spends fifteen minutes in the bathroom hunched over the toilet (nothing comes out, which doesn't help alleviate the queasiness).

A few minutes after Yuugi leaves for school, Atem finds a drawing of some kind of insect, half-eaten and still twitching. He wonders if it's some form of an attempt at communication or just the Thief's way of flipping them off. Maybe it's both, he thinks, smirking a little. It's a bit amazing how he can find anything about this situation amusing, but his sense of humor is different than it was in Yuugi's body (Anzu says there's probably a scientific explanation – something about chemicals, maybe – but he doesn't know anyone science-y enough to figure it out).

Atem spends a few minutes staring at the drawing and picks up the phone.

The orange of the setting sun and the reddish brown of the desert bleed together, colors mixing as Nut and Geb's fingertips brush against each other for mere moments until they are separated once more.

"It really isn't fair," Aren says, and Bakura – three years old and too young to understand what it means to be in love – looks at him with the wide eyes of a child who doesn't know what you're saying but is curious enough to listen anyway. "It isn't fair," his elder brother says again. "To be separated like that. If you love someone, you should be allowed to be with that person."

Bakura continues to listen as his brother talks about the girl he saw when he went with their father to the market place in a bigger city – how she smiled at him and laughed at his jokes and showed him how to write his name in Hieroglyphics and how he thinks he might want to marry her.

"So marry her," he says, shrugging. "Like Ashiya and Elder Sister, right?"

But Aren just shakes his head and says that it's different, that there are too many reasons they can't be together. He doesn't elaborate. "I'll tell you when you're older," he assures him.

"How much older?"

"Hm… two years," Aren promises.

Two years later Aren is dead and Bakura is watching from behind the ruins of a cupboard as his brother's fingers twitch when a soldier yanks the stone axe out of the back of his head.

The pencil snaps in half and veers off the paper. The Thief stares down at it in disgust, half of the face he'd been drawing grinning at him. It felt like mockery – the squiggle left by the broken pencil, taunting him over– over–. He wasn't sure. He thinks he should feel bad about breaking the pencil, since he only has so many and he certainly isn't going to ask Anzu for more, but he can't muster up even the slightest bit of "oops".

Everything is broken here, he thinks to himself. Everything and everyone is broken here. He doesn't know where "here" is, so he snatches up the failed drawing and tears it in half, again and again and again, until the floor and bed are littered with tiny fragments of what was nothing more than just another failure.

He laughs, and it feels like dying.

Kaiba knows who it is before he picks up the phone.

"Yuugi," he says anyway.

"I have a name of my own, you know," the Pharaoh replies and Kaiba can see him smirking in his mind's eye.

"What do you want?" Cold, collected, professional. No room for emotions that could show weakness – no escape for the discomfort building within the both of them.

"I'm simply surprised you haven't asked me to Duel you," Atem says, and Kaiba scowls. Arrogant bastard, he thinks to himself. The irony doesn't escape him.

"Yuugi is the King of Games now," Kaiba reminds him. "Why would I aim for second best?" It's bullshit and they both know it.

"Yuugi says you haven't challenged him either."

"I've been busy."

"Not too busy to answer my call."

"What do you want, Atem?" The word feels strange on his tongue, almost like he's broken some sort of taboo. There's silence for a moment.

"So you do know my name," the Pharaoh is trying not to laugh, and Kaiba refuses to indulge him any further.

"I'm free at 2:30," he snaps.

"No, you're not," Atem tries to sound stern, but there's no point.

"I am now," Kaiba corrects him, and Isono wordlessly reschedules his 2:00 appointment.

"One would think that's bad for business," Atem notes, and Kaiba resists the urge to snort.

"2:30." He says again and hangs up. Four hours, twenty-seven minutes, and thirteen seconds, Kaiba thinks, looking at the clock.

And then he pushes the thoughts of Atem and Dueling out of his head and returns to work, because he is Seto Kaiba and 'Atem is back' isn't enough to keep him from getting some work done.

The Duel is private, because Kaiba really shouldn't be putting off work (or school) for this, but Isono's there with a camera recording everything anyway, just in case. Atem arrives exactly on time, and Kaiba can't help but be annoyed by his punctuality. Just had to time everything perfectly, didn't you, he thinks bitterly, like he's never done exactly that.

It goes about as expected, with both of them doing fairly well until Atem magically drew the exact card he needed to secure a victory. The only difference is that the Black Magician's smirk is much more meaningful now that he knows who Mahado is (or rather, was), and Kaiba has to resist the urge to flip him off when he does that annoying finger wag. All in all, it's a rather anti-climatic battle.

"I don't suppose you have an understanding of brain chemicals," Atem says, for lack of anything else to say. Kaiba rolls his eyes.

"I'm a computer scientist, not a neurochemist," he sneers. "That's not my area of expertise. Why are you even asking something like that?" Atem sighs and sits down and Kaiba wonders who the hell told him he could stay and chat.

"Just curiosity," he waves off the question. "But I do need your help with something." Of course he does. It stings, surprisingly enough, that Atem didn't just show up to Duel him.

"And that would be?"

"How do I communicate with an emotionally stunted asshole who's tried to kill me and my friends in the past but is now someone who doesn't seem to be able to function on his own?"

"I can 'function' just fine," Kaiba retorts, and Atem can't stop himself from laughing.

"For once, Kaiba, you aren't the emotionally stunted previously murderous asshole in question," he says, smirking. "Although I must admit, I find it amusing that you immediately assumed I was talking about you. Come to think of it, you do fit the description…"

"Listen, I–" Kaiba begins and then stops as curiosity overcomes the desire to make a witty comment. "Wait, how many 'emotionally stunted assholes that have tried to kill you and your friends in the past' do you know?" Atem thinks about it for a moment.

"Does Rishid count?" he asks.

"The guy who wasn't Marik?"

"The guy who–" Atem can't hide his grin. "Yes, Kaiba, the guy who wasn't Marik." He coughs, trying to push the conversation back to a more serious tone. "If you count him, then it's four. Otherwise, it's just you, Marik, and the Spirit of the Millennium Ring." Kaiba raises an eyebrow.

"He's back too?"

"You didn't know?"

"I… haven't exactly been at school much lately," Kaiba confesses. "I've had a lot of work to do."

"You've been avoiding Yuugi, you mean," Atem corrects, unimpressed. Kaiba doesn't bother to deny it.

"I assume you're talking about him, then?" He asks, and Atem nods. "What do you expect from me? I barely know the normal Bakura, much less his evil alter ego."

"I should've asked Mokuba," Atem says, shaking his head. Kaiba takes a minute to process that.

"Okay, well, screw you too," he mutters before he can stop himself. Atem rises.

"I should get going," he says. "And… Kaiba?"

"What?"

"Thank you."

During lunch, Yuugi tells his friends about the dream – less solid than the others, he says, which only made it scarier. Marik doesn't remember his dreams still, but apparently Rishid was worried about him (which might not mean anything, because when is Rishid not worried about Marik). Bakura hasn't come back to school yet, and Kaiba's still not there either, and the conversation eventually peters to silence.

"I dunno how much longer I can deal with this," Otogi says, sounding a bit hoarse. "I know that's– that's probably really selfish, but–"

"It's not," Anzu cuts him off sternly, frowning. "This isn't something any of us know how to deal with. We can't just play a game and solve the problem, and the fact is that that's what we've gotten used to. It's good to help your friends, Otogi, but you also need to take care of yourself – and, in your case, you have a job as well."

"I sorta thought you'd say 'friends have to stick together' or something," Jounouchi comments. Anzu gives him a funny look.

"Why would I say that?" she asks, brow furrowing. "Friends do have to stick together, sure, but part of that is understanding people's limits. On top of that, we still don't have a solid idea of what's going on. I can't expect Otogi to throw everything aside and devote his full attention to this situation. No one can do that, not even me. I learned that from you," she adds, looking at Yuugi, who nods.

"I wouldn't want you to do that anyway," he agrees. "Marik and I made a mistake; it's only fair that we're the ones who clean up the mess. We've dragged enough people into this as it is, really."

"That's what I keep telling Isis and Rishid," Marik wrinkles his nose, as though his sandwich had done something to personally offend him. "But you know how they are." He shrugs. "At least Isis stopped lecturing me for the moment."

"She'll use it against you," Honda warns. "Older sisters are like that. She will never let this go." Marik snorts.

"I have no doubt of that," he grumbles. "I once hid one of her earrings as a joke. It was nearly a year ago, but she's still mad."

"Little sisters are much better," Jounouchi laughs. "Shizuka wouldn't do that at all." He turns to glare at Otogi. "Speaking of Shizuka," he growls. "Why are you on a first-name basis with my sister?" Otogi shrugs innocently.

"I just wanted to make her feel more included," he winks, and Jounouchi lunges at him. Anzu yelps in surprise as the two boys begin to tussle, and prepares to break it up until she sees Yuugi laughing at the scene and decides to let it go for now.

"'Hiroto'," Honda mumbles dreamily. "Wonder if I could get her to use my name…" Jounouchi glares at him over his shoulder.

"You're next, Honda! Stay the hell away from my sister!"

Ryou Bakura's smile is a little too forced when Sugoroku lets him in.

"You should be in school," he reprimands quietly. Bakura nods in agreement.

"I need to talk to him," he says. "I'll go back soon, I promise, but–" Sugoroku puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him, and silently steps aside. "Thank you."

The Thief's room has little pieces of paper all over the floor, but the occupant is fully conscious.

"Why are you here?" he rasps, and Bakura crosses his arms.

"You better clean that up," he tells him. "I think you've made enough messes for one lifetime – or several," he adds, pointedly. The Thief scowls at him.

"What do you want?" he asks. Bakura leans down until their noses are almost touching. His eyes are narrow and the Thief takes that as a challenge, narrowing his own as well.

"Did he know how to read?" Bakura asks calmly. There's no question as to who "he" is, and the Thief shakes his head. "Who did?"

"A few people," the Thief says after a moment. "A couple of the elders, I think."

"The old woman?"

"She was blind."

"Her granddaughter, then?" Bakura knows he's hit the mark when the Thief breaks eye contact. "These aren't my memories," Bakura tries to keep his composure, but it's difficult to force down the anger.

"They aren't mine either," the Thief reminds him.

"Cut the connection," Bakura demands, and the Thief laughs.

"Even if I knew how, I wouldn't," he says. "It's not over until they're free. For either of us." Bakura's fist connects with the Thief's cheek, sending him flying off the bed. It's a bit concerning, since Bakura isn't really all that strong, but the Thief weighs almost nothing.

"This isn't my anger," Bakura repeat, trying to reassure himself. The Thief laughs again, blood running from his nose.

"It's your something," he grins, and Bakura storms from the room before he can hit him again, slamming the door shut behind him.

"It's not mine," he whispers as his fingernails dig into his palms. "Not mine," he says again hours later when he's eating dinner and rage comes from nowhere, bubbling up inside of him (it smells of tar, he thinks). "You're not mine either," he tells the enormous white creature hovering behind him.

Diabound doesn't reply.

AN: I feel like Otogi would be the least equipped to deal with all this nonsense, honestly. But anyway, there's a bit of humor in the middle of the story, just so it doesn't get too dark. Also because I feel like each chapter should at least reach ten pages so I don't end up slacking off or something. That said, it feels like the word count in each chapter just gets shorter and shorter… I should start wrapping things up, but I have a couple plot points that I need to have happen, and I've only mentioned three members of TKB's family (Ashiya, Bitya'a, and Aren), two of whom aren't even blood relatives. So… I'd like to know how many more people from the past the Thief should have flashbacks about, 'cause I'm definitely going to introduce his sister and parents, but that's probably gonna be it.

Speaking of the flashbacks, you might've noticed that this one was a little bit different from the last two. The reason for that is that I want each flashback to occur differently, because TKB would've had a different relationship with each of them, and trauma is really weird about the memory.

I do have to admit that the Diabound thing was a bit last minute – not the place that particular idea is going; that's been planned out from the beginning, but the bit about having Diabound being physically in the story didn't occur to me until fairly recently. That said, it'll all make sense fairly soon (well… as much sense as anything else in YGO makes). I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and please let me know what you thought! Kitty out.

[cartoonus-maximus]

Wrote my own answers because I wanted to. :-D

I chose to talk about my current YGO fic “Geemu no Joo,” since that’s the one I’m putting a ton of work into and am really excited about.

If you would like to see me answer the questions about a different fic of mine, feel free to ask.

[ link to fic ]

[ link to questionnaire ]

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I wanted to title my fic a variant of “the Queen of Games” without actually using that title, since that was the title of a previous fic/this fic’s previous form. I put the phrase “queen of games” into Google Translate to translate into Japanese and “Geemu no Joo” was what came out of that.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

While some of my other fics have certain elements borrowed from my own life experiences (Jackson making mac ‘n’ cheese in “the Misfit” or Ryou being sick and miserable in a couple of my older YGO oneshots), there aren’t a lot of parts of “GnJ” that stick out to me as anything from my life.

Maybe the scene where Atem doesn’t know what to do with his life and spends most of his time in bed? But that’s all I can think of.

C: What member do you identify with most?

Probably either Anzu or Honda. Anzu because she’s focused on personal safety and making sure her friends don’t get molested or anything, and Honda because he stays off to the side and really doesn’t do a lot but he does occasionally ask important questions like “wtf is that?!”

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Pretty much any ‘Music to Duel By’ songs will work. Especially “Shadow Games,” “We’ll Be There,” “No Matter What,” and “Duel Madness.” Any of the character themes of the monster summoning themes are good, too. They help me get in the mood, especially that first one.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

A sequel to “Geemu no Joo” would probably include silly scenes, like Atem working in ‘Jii-chan’s game shop or Bekhura meeting Ryou’s father. I think it would be about the developing relationships that are being/will be established in “GnJ,” as well as maybe more adventures against a new villain, like Dartz or someone.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m really happy with the conversation held between Pegasus and Shadi in the prologue. Writing it and then rereading it later, it was seriously the part that made me continue on with the story.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m trying my darn hardest to write this baby from start to finish. And it is an uphill battle all the way, believe me.

H: How would you describe your style?

Too close to Dickens for my own taste, tbh. I sure love commas, don’t I? And weird, flowery, descriptive language? But, on the other hand, someone left a comment telling me how immersive my writing was and how appealing it was to read, so I guess I won’t complain too much.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Characters who are holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, aaaah!... Especially Ryou and Bekhura. Also writing loving cuddles and kisses with Yuugi and Atem.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

First, I need to write the canon ending. But (SPOILERS!) it will be a happy ending, so I guess alternatives would include unhappy endings... Like, for examples, if certain characters didn’t survive...

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Actual canon for the previous incarnation of this fic, “the Queen of Games,” not only was Ryou molested at one point in the story, which leads to Bakura’s sad past being revealed, but the story’s sequel would have included Yugi and Atem suffering a miscarriage and losing their child. You’re welcome.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Generally two or three times. I used to think once was fine, but I’ve been revising and editing a lot more diligently in recent months.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Unrelated to this fic, but ask me about my EEnE fic plot bunny if you dare.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

I started this story with characters and ships that I wanted to use in mind. The plot came later.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

... Both? I have a basic structure written out, but a lot of details, like specific actions or dialogue, just sort of fill in as they happen. And then sometimes they don’t work and I have to rewrite some things.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Tbh, when I first got into YGO and started readings fanfics, there were so many written by younger viewers in which Yugi, Ryou, and Marik were girls and their darker selves were both separate people and their tboyfriends. For some reason, I really liked that concept. So, at its heart, this fic is my own spin on that trope.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

While there are plenty of them, I don’t know how many of them are really influential on this fic. Mainly I’m just trying to keep the characters as much like their canon portrayal as possible while also including a few of my own non-conflicting headcanons. Tea/Anzu-bashing might be the only trope I’m really actively writing against, but that’s probably it.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Malik, apparently.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Malik has been through a lot, including getting his heart broken, his feelings trampled on, being manipulated by his “lover” into killing his own father, and nearly being killed by his “lover” for the amusement of a dark god. I kinda feel bad for the guy and want to give him his happy ending as soon as possible.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

Spoilers for “GnJ:” Later on in the story, there will be some character deaths and some near-death experiences. I won’t say who, but yeah, be ready for that. *evil grin*

[ayma-nidiot]

“Don’t Speak Their Names” - Shrimpshipping fic Chapter 33

Author’s Note: Detailed depiction of childbirth and minor blood.

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Chapter 33 - Reborn

~29 December 2005, 16:00~

“I’m… awake again…” Rex’s eyes quickly fluttered open after passing out for the second time that day. “What is goi- Aaaaaah!” His screams piqued the interests of the other patients, nurses, and doctors in the campus hospital.

“Rex, we’re already there,” spoke Joey as Dr. Balls and two of his nurses briskly whisked Rex into the delivery room. Joey, Mokuba, Tricera, Ptera, Camellia, and Spinos were the only ones allowed into the actual delivery room while everyone else was ordered to wait just outside.

“Aww, come on, I want to see some of the action!” Tristan pouted. Even though the delivery room was larger than anyone imagined, he could see very little with so many people in there. “Why Joey and not me?”

“This isn’t about you, you idiot.” Téa bopped Tristan on the head. 

“Ma’am… Mrs. Raptor?” Joey began as Dr. Balls attached an EKG to Rex. It was too late into the delivery to administer an epidural now. “I have a small request. May I hold Rex’s hand throughout this birth?”

“May I hold his other hand?” Mokuba asked.

Ptera blinked, surprised that someone who once claimed he could “duel circles around Rex” would ask this of her. “Yes… Yes, of course you may. The two of you have been nothing but helpful to my boy throughout all of this.”

“Thank you so much, ma’am.” Joey and Mokuba bowed as they both flanked Rex.

“Hehehe…” Rex received a short break from the contractions, and smiled at his friend and rival. “I never thought we’d find ourselves like this . Let me know if you’re going to be late to your own kids’ birth, and I’ll gladly hold Mai’s hand for you.”

“Should you really be making japes at a time like this?” Mokuba scolded.

“Hey, I’m just trying to make this process a little easier for myself before-” The contractions began again, and Rex cried louder than ever.

“Oh, gods…” Espa winced as he could hear Rex’s cries well enough. Naturally, said cries were laced with cuss words. “That’s going to be me in five months? And I’m going to have to go through that twice in a row! I… I don’t think I’m going to be ready…”

“Yes you will, love… Well, minus the cuss words, of course.” Mako hugged his boyfriend’s shoulders. “I believe in you, so let’s believe in Rex too.”

Even throughout all his pain, Rex could still hear every word being said on the other side of that glass. “At least… hah… someone believes in me… ‘Cuz I can hardly take this anymore!”

“Less talking and more breathing,” Dr. Balls ordered.

“If you can survive the two times I’ve beaten you, then you can survive this.”

“That’s not helping, Joey!” Rex snarled. The contractions were practically nonstop at this point; even his stubborn attitude couldn’t help now. “I just wish… Weeves was here…”

“Rex…” Mokuba could see the hopelessness in his cousin’s eyes.

“Amber… My baby is going to have to grow up without her father!” Rex’s cries were softer, but with more tears, as he didn’t have the energy or desire to push anymore. 

“Rex, don’t give up now!” Dr. Balls encouraged. “Look! I can already see the top of Amber’s head!”

“Weeves…” Rex’s vision began to fade, and he really thought he would die in childbirth right then and there. 

But then, all of a sudden, Dr. Balls took a break to open the door and shout, “FOR THE LOVE OF RA, people need to stop running in this fucking hospital!”

“Now who might that be?” Camellia peered out the door too. “It’s… Oh my gods…”

“It must be the prime minister or something, if you’re all going to abandon me at a time like this!” Rex shouted as everyone except Joey and Mokuba looked to the man who barged into the delivery room.

“No, I’m someone even better than that,” replied the “intruder.” “Number one in all of Japan, to be exact.”

“It can’t be… Weeves!” Rex’s vision returned, just in time to see the face of his boyfriend, alive and well. Weevil had bandages wrapped tightly around where his right arm used to be. “How did… I mean-”

“As a not-so-wise man once said, less talking and more breathing.” Weevil rushed to Rex’s right side, taking Joey’s place.

“How could you have heard that-”

“Ahem.” Dr. Balls cleared his throat. “There are way too many of you in here now. Can you please wait outside with the others?”

“Yes, of course.” Ptera joined Rex’s friends on the other side of the glass without protest.

“I’m glad you made it… Hngh!” Rex could sense that most of Amber’s head was already out. “It would have been nice if you didn’t fucking wait until my daughter started crowning! ”

“I’ll explain later, I promise,” Weevil reassured as he held Rex’s right hand with his left hand, occasionally stroking Rex’s hair with it too. “I would have gotten here sooner, but as you can see, I’m a little… short-handed. ”

“OH MY FUCKING GODS, WEEVIL, CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!”

“All right, all right…” Five minutes had passed before Weevil said, “Come on, hun, you can do this. Just a couple more pushes ought to do it.”

“Easy for you to say, bug boy! FUUUUUUCK!” Rex gave those two final pushes his all.

“And you would be correct, Weevil!” Dr. Balls presented a crying, very pink and sticky baby before Rex. “Here’s little Amber!”

“Hun, you did it!” Weevil teared up as he and Rex looked upon their tiny newborn daughter. She had not yet opened her eyes, and there was so much blood and amniotic fluid in her hair that it was hard to discern her hair colour.

“She’s so beautiful…” Rex kissed his daughter’s little head. “Oh…”

“Isn’t she?” Weevil’s smile soon faded when he noticed that Rex wasn’t awake, even as he expelled the placenta. “Hun?”

Dr. Balls took note of the irregularity on the EKG. “He’s going into ventricular fibrillation! Get the defibrillator ready before his heart stops!”

“Hun!” Weevil began to panic as Dr. Balls tried to defibrillate Rex, a nurse tended to Amber, and another nurse ushered him out of the delivery room. “Rex!”

“He’ll… He’ll be okay.” Téa never thought she’d see the day when she’d hug Weevil in consolation.

“You sure? I mean… even after all I’ve done to him?”

“If I say that he can, then he will,” spoke an approaching voice that was definitely not Téa’s. 

“It’s… Kaiba!” Weevil exclaimed at the sight of his stepcousin. “You’re alive too!”

Even from where he stood, Kaiba could see that Rex’s vitals had returned to normal. “See? Just my presence could cure him. I’m that awesome.”

“Papa!” Heka gave his mother a tearful hug. “Thank Anubis for having mercy on you!”

“How did you make it?” Atem asked.

“This pinworm would know. It’s the same reason he managed to survive.” Kaiba winked.

“Oh…” Weevil understood what Kaiba meant.

“Is that supposed to be some kind of code?” Joey leered at Kaiba.

“Yes. A.k.a. ‘it’s none of your business,’ Wheeler.”

“Yup, this is the real, very much alive Kaiba, all right. Who else can be just as annoying?”

“...” Weevil had not seen Atem since the war from two years ago.

“Ah, Weevil.” Atem patted a barely accepting Weevil on the shoulder. “I hope you’ve been well. I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter.”

“She’s reborn, not dead. I thought you would know about rebirth better than anyone, King of Lame. As for why I am late… Well, I’ll tell you all later, if I feel like it.” Weevil fell silent after saying this, and that was when Dr. Balls came out of the delivery room. “Doctor! Is… Is Rex…”

“He suffered a minor hemorrhage, which is what caused the v-fib. But he’ll be fine after a day’s worth of rest. You guys are more than welcome to visit him tomorrow, though.”

“Doctor…” Weevil reached into a shorts pocket, but declined to retrieve what was in it. “No, it can wait until tomorrow.”

________

~30 December 2005; 16:30~

“Phew…” Even though Rex had woken up twenty minutes ago, he was still not fully awake, even with Amber breastfeeding from him.

“How are you feeling, Rex?” Dr. Balls asked as he checked Rex’s vitals, being careful not to disturb Amber.

“I’m tired as shit, but I think I’ll be fine after a bit of rest.” Rex twirled one of Amber’s small locks of hair. “Not that I think I’ll be getting it any time soon, thanks to this little bean.”

“In that case, you’re free to go whenever you’re able. You are fortunate to have recovered so quickly; your vitals look perfect.”

“I’d like to go now, but a certain pest problem said he’d be here in ten minutes.”

“How about more like ten seconds?” Weevil knocked before entering the room.

“I’ll leave you two be, then.” Dr. Balls met Weevil at the door. “Oh, and one more thing before I go.”

“Yes?”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Weevil spoke as Dr. Balls left Rex’s hospital room. He beamed when the first thing he saw after that was Rex breastfeeding his newborn daughter. “Hey, hun. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Quite the contrary, baby.” Rex put his shirt all the way on. It was only just then that he noticed Weevil’s prosthetic right arm. It looked like a hand manikin from the art supply stores, except it was made of black titanium, with a few wires visibly running through the fingers and wrist. “Yo, nice arm.”

“Yet another reason why I was late today. I had to make a pit stop by the city hospital to get fitted for it and, thanks to KaibaCorp’s technology, that process didn’t take long.”

“Yet another reason to like Mokuba! Anyhoo, Amber just finished eating. You want to hold her?”

“And why wouldn’t I?” Weevil took the seat next to Rex as he gave him a swaddled-up Amber. As soon as she landed in his arms, Weevil immediately started crying. Amber had a short blanket of mint green hair on her head, with two small lavender sideburns sticking out just above her ears. “She looks just like me!”

“But she has my eyes.” Rex smirked.

“Hmm?” Weevil looked as Amber finally opened her eyes for the first time. “No, she doesn’t, dino brain. Look harder.”

Rex leaned in to get a better look at Amber’s eyes. “She has a purple right eye and a blue left eye! Well, her eyes have my eyes’ shape, so my point still stands.”

“Even in her future incarnation, I never noticed,” Weevil remarked.

These words gave Rex a solemn reminder. “Speaking of our future daughter, she’s dead.” Rex shook his head when he remembered future Amber’s dying words. “Scratch that. Amber…” Rex smiled as he stroked his daughter’s fat baby cheeks. “You’re back… You’re alive.”

“Gooooh!” Amber cooed happily, grabbing Rex’s finger as he played with her.

“Hey, I’m here too!” Weevil booped Amber’s nose; the infant was quick to grab his finger too. “I’m sorry you have to deal with a metal finger, my little love bug. Your daddy has been… a little mean.”

“Gooh?” Amber waved Weevil’s finger before kissing it.

“You…” Weevil cried even harder as he kissed Amber’s hand too. “Aww, I love you too, Amber!”

“You’re already a father, and yet you’re still a crybaby.” Rex chuckled. “So, bug boy. Care to explain why you barely made it in time to your daughter’s birth?”

“Why, it’s the same reason why Kaiba managed to live. We’ve… had a little help from beyond.”

“What do you mean?”

No sooner had Rex asked this question when a miniscule whirlwind whipped about, and a ghost appeared before the three. “He must be talking about me. ”

“Who…?” Rex squinted at the scarred, tan-skinned man before him. “Bakura?”

“We meet again, Hu and Sia.” The thief king swooped down gently to touch Amber’s face. “So… You have a child together now. Congratulations.”

“Bakura, what are you doing here?” Rex wondered.

“I came here because even from the afterlife, I could sense Priest Seto and Sia were in trouble.”

“Thanks again, Bakura… I’m indebted to you.” Weevil turned to Rex after Bakura’s spirit left. “But that’s only one reason that I’m late. In fact, it isn’t the main reason why I’m late.”

“It isn’t?” Rex watched while, after putting Amber in her wheeled baby buggy, Weevil reached into his pockets and took a small item out of them.

“It’s actually…” Weevil took a deep breath. “I had to make a pit stop to a high-end jeweler’s on my way here. I despise my Underwood surname, and I just thought of the best way to do something about it.”

“And how’s that?”

With full confidence, Weevil got down on one knee and presented a red-and-black ring. “By changing it to Raptor.”

“Oh…” Rex’s eyes opened wide. “Oh, Weeves…”

“Rex Raptor, will you marry me?”

“Yes…” Rex started bawling. “Yes, Weevil, I will! But first…”

“‘But first…?’”

Rex reached into his handbag, which thankfully stood upright on the closeby coffee table. “Darn, you beat me to it,” he whined as he produced a much cheaper-looking rose gold ring. “It’s got rubies and sapphires, just like your Metamorphosed Insect Queen.”

Weevil held out his left hand, and the new fiancés exchanged their rings. “And yours is made of black zirconium, with dinosaur bone inlay.”

“Sounds fancy!” Rex admired the ring placed upon his hand. 

“Yeah, it’s ¥109472 kind of fancy.”

“Yeesh! S-Sorry yours costs only ¥31277. But it’s all I can afford, even after saving money from working at Mama’s restaurant… and doing odd jobs for my dad. When we actually get married, I’ll be sure to get you something fancier.”

“Don’t worry about it. On the contrary, I quite like this ring.” Weevil picked Amber up and handed her to Rex.

“Aww, I’m glad…” Rex lightly combed Amber’s hair with his fingers. 

“Did you hear that, Amber? We’re going to be a family soon!” Weevil spoke.

“Goo gaaaa!” Amber laughed.

“And we have like, what? Ten people to break the good news to?” Rex put Amber in the buggy again. After donning his jacket, muffler, and handbag, he tucked Amber with a cozy blanket.

“But shouldn’t you still be resting?” Weevil held Rex’s back as the both of them walked forward with Amber in tow. 

“Eh, Dr. Balls said I’m okay to go whenever I feel like it,” Rex responded after the two had just exited the campus hospital. “I was just waiting for your sluggish ass to get here.”

“Naw, Joey is the sluggish one,” Duke spoke as the “Dweeb Patrol” met with Rex and Weevil. “He insisted that we stop by the grocery store to get cake, but you guys have already left.”

“Sorry, dude. But we just had something we had to tell you all.” Rex held Weevil’s hand and showed off their rings. “Weeves and I are gonna get married.”

“Awwww!” Mai and Téa loved Weevil’s engagement ring. 

“Don’t you dare tell them how cheap it is,” Rex whispered to Weevil.

“Hehe, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Téa took a glance at Amber. “Oh my gosh, is this your baby?”

“You know it.” Rex made finger guns.

“Look at those pretty eyes!” Mai remarked while the members of the “Dweeb Patrol” looked at Amber too.

“ My pretty eyes.” Rex waggled his eyebrows at Weevil, who bonked him on the head in response.

“She’s a cutie, that one,” Joey noted. As soon as he got his face close, Amber poked him in the eye. “Ouch!”

“Pbbbbbbbt!” Amber sputtered.

“Haha…” Joey rubbed the eye Amber poked. “She hates me already. Looks like I’ve got a lot of work to do… again. And I’m really jealous that you beat me to the delivery room, Rex. But congratulations anyway.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Mai scrunched her face.

“N-Nothing! Ya’ didn’t hear that!”

“I’ll give you babies when I’m good and ready! And no sooner!”

“Okay, okay…” Joey couldn’t break free of the noogies Mai gave him, and the “Dweeb Patrol” laughed at the couple’s antics. “Hmm? Eh, it’s that stinkin’ rich boy.”

“I’m surprised you have the cojones to say that after all I’ve done for you.”

“And… You’re here too.” Joey acknowledged Thief King Bakura’s spirit.

“Thank you for helping us.” Atem bowed to Bakura from the waist down. “Even after the Kul Elna massacre, you were still willing to help both Weevil and my husband.”

“Ooh!” Heka pushed everyone aside to look at Amber. “Amber is, like, the cutest baby ever! So, this is what my girlfriend looked like when she was a baby!”

“Watch it, you sick fuck,” Weevil warned with a bop on the head. “She’s only a day old.”

“I know, I know.” All of a sudden, Heka stopped talking before using a more serious tone, with a hint of tears. “No matter how long it takes, I’ll win your heart again. Even if I have to nearly die for you again.” Heka kissed Amber’s feet before stepping back, earning a glare from Weevil.

“We must go back to ancient Egypt now, but we’ll be sure to make it in time for your guys’ wedding.”

“Yugi… I-I mean, Atem…” Weevil stammered.

“Don’t worry, Weevil. If I say I’ll be there, then I will.” Atem ruffled the even shorter duelist’s hair. “And you can entertain your wedding guests by having your revenge on me in a duel.”

Weevil’s tone of voice turned happier. “I’ll squash you, Pharaoh! I can assure you that it won’t end like our train duel.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Farewell!” Atem gave Weevil a fist bump before singing the Incantation, returning himself, Heka, and Kaiba to their own time.

“Oh?” Weevil noticed that not only did Bakura not leave yet, but he also got really close to him and Rex. “Why are you still here?”

“So you and Hu are getting married. I’m… sniff… I’m glad…”

“Bakura…” Weevil reached a hand out to the Thief King. “You were in love with my past self, weren’t you?”

“!!” Bakura jolted at this question, but didn’t bother to deny it. “Sia… He was my whole world. I couldn’t possibly tarnish my friendship with him by telling him how I feel, so I allowed him to have a relationship with Hu.”

“I’m so sorry.” Weevil took Bakura’s hand into his own and hugged him, allowing him to cry on his shoulders.

When Bakura stopped crying, he turned to Rex. “Hu… I’m sorry, Rex. Honestly, congratulations. You just might see me at the wedding, too. In the form of a friend, if I might add.”

“Bakura…?” Rex tried to chase after a fading Bakura. “Wait, what do you… Aaaaaand he’s gone.”

“And we should be, too.” Weevil walked ahead, with the intention of going to the park later with his friends. “But first… Let’s go home and get something more appropriate to carry our newborn baby in.”

“Actually, can you do me a favour, Weeves?” Rex brought his hands into a praying pose. “I promised Espa that I would go clothes-shopping with him today.”

“Rex, you don’t have to,” Espa half-heartedly insisted. “I mean, you just gave birth yesterday, so I’m sure you-”

“Now, here’s something you gotta learn about shapeshifters, m’dude. We heal faster than your average Joe.”

“Gee, that makes me feel loads better about this whole process.” Espa grunted as he felt his twins kick at the same time. “These two are literal demon spawn.”

“Don’t let Mako hear you say that,” Weevil warned.

“Aww, come on, it’ll be worth it!” Rex threw an arm around Espa’s shoulders. “I swore early in my pregnancy that I was going to give Amber what for, but now that I can see her sweet little eyes and baby cheeks, I can’t say no.”

“Rex… Okay. Well, what are we waiting for, then?”

“Weeves…” Rex turned to his fiancé and kissed his ring finger. “I’ll be back.”

“You better. Unless you want Ptera to read you the Riot Act.” And with that, Weevil was out of sight, already wanting to show his newborn daughter the joys of the insect world.

[the-cryptographer]

I should not have dropped eight thousand words of a new WIP.

I mean, it was the one unposted WIP fic I allowed myself to work on at all, and for a microfandom, so it’s not like I had no idea what I was doing. It’s just a lot on my mind and on my plate, and I’m just kind of meh about the parts of the chapter I rushed to finish. I felt myself struggling through parts of the Trish conversation, and I completely BS-ed a section - one that should have been longer - in a very poor attempt to preserve the original pacing and scene changes that I drafted two years ago. But after sitting on the thing for so long, I figured it was just better to go ahead just bc... I want this fic to exist.

It’s really weird for me, because it’s not even a fic that’s entirely mine - it was something brainstormed in response to someone’s yuletide prompt from 2015. I’m not sure I would have conceptualised the concept as I did without that prompt. I have some major reservations about the ship, for one, particularly the Gig/Levin side of the triang. Gig’s mass exploitation and the control he leveraged over Raksha in the backstory is kind of fucked up in a way I can’t really excuse as the backstory for a relationship, regardless of how terrible a person Raksha is. But even though I’m finding myself edging over to the abandoned fandom corner of Levin/Revya OTP, I kind of want Gig there for this anyhow. He’s great to write dialogue for, for one. He’s observant in ways the other two aren’t. And there’s something in his relationships with each of the others... The kind of codependence he has with Revya - they way they hide their identities behind one another, and draw together in solidarity so easily. And that Gig and Raksha, for all that ugly, ugly, history, were really the only two to make it out alive and together and in an understanding of what had happened - all those attempts to grab power and control - was all utterly futile. So even though I have issues with Gig being there, and I’m not entirely sure it’s something I would have happened upon myself, I kind of realised that there isn’t really a story without him. How would Revya and Levin even begin a conversation if it was just them? They get so easily tongue-tied. And it’s also just kind of hard for me to imagine Revya... not wanting Gig to be a part of this. ...And also bisexuality and polyamory and genderfuck are life, lol. Like, I’ll write and enjoy het ships, but this is really what I’m here for - let’s not lie to ourselves.

Other issues I have with it...

Chapter two will be better in this regard, but the first chapter relies too much on incidental meetings. I don’t think they’re impossible to believe, and I think on a meta level they can be justified considering the amount of narrative mileage that’s milked out of them - the first setting up the plot, and the second being the centerpiece of comedic schadenfreude. But I’d prefer to have a more substantial reason for characters running into one another on an in-universe level.

The mental health stuff is all over the place. It was another thing requested by the yuletide prompt. I got the idea for depressive, bipolar, and psychosis trifecta with Revya, Levin, and Gig respectively. But, while I’m kind of attached to bipolar Levin in particular, I realised I don’t really have the background or personal experience to write much more than depression with any certainty. It’s kind of integrated into the plot at this point, so there will definitely be moments of lapsed health, but I kind of feel it’s going to be both disappointingly vague and disappointingly left hanging.

The prompter also specified they didn’t care much for Tricia or Danette. And, yeah, I don’t /not/ get that. I’m not too fond of Danette myself. It’s just hard for me to make Revya not attached to her. The same way i won’t write Red not liking Pikachu. Or Yuugi not liking Atem. So that, but also it’s hard for me to leave this kind of fandom mindset where... I really /want/ to like female characters. Even when I don’t. Despite all the incredibly shoddy writing surrounding female characters, and despite the fact that I don’t think it’s really a fan’s responsibility to make allowances for that, I’m still kind of super... meh... about the way female characters get treated in fandom. I live irl around enough women that are 500x more critical of other ladies than any of the men in their lives. And it’s just... really hard for me to not read that kind of misogyny into fandom attitudes. Especially considering how viscous and charged and controlling I’ve seen fandom get about what female fans are allowed to do. So I kind of inevitably want to write stories where the female characters are given weight and importance in their relationships with each other, and the resultant product of this impulse combined with trying to follow the letter of the prompt was something very ??? where Tricia and Danette are kind of left out of the story while still being rather over-present in it. I kind of wonder at this point what niches they would have filled in the story if I hadn’t tried to limit them. But it kind of is what it is at this point, and I have trouble wanting to fix what isn’t broken, even if it could potentially be better maybe(?)

So, in spite of all my many reservations, I... care about this thing. The kind of grim comedy and exuberance to Soul Nomad struck a chord with the grim comedic fatality of my teenage self, and every once in a while I’m kind of overcome with how much I love the cow siblings. They are just a mess of abuse and biological weapons engineering and deception. I kind of realise dancing around the soul nomad tags... how much I disproportionately love Levin, lol. And how much I need content about him and Euphoria that goes into their identity struggles, and having been trafficked, and the kind of ugliness and control that sits between them. Content that largely doesn’t exist.

And I also like the kind of aftermath to what is a quest that gathered a number of different party members - all of different political allegiance - and set them to a common goal. The idea that they’re all still friends that enjoy each other on a personal level, but still all have their own agendas and priorities that clash, is one of those things that intrigues me. And that Revya and Gig and Levin can kind of move through that landscape (mostly) unaffiliated and detached from it. Outside observers.

Anyhow, these are all the things I’m kind of thinking about. and I just wanted to ramble for a bit.

[rainstormcolors]

Prideshipping for the ship meme (Are you surprised?)

I apologize for thewait! Thank you for your patience! Though to be honest, this exercise is morefor my own sake in building ideas and adding detail to these ships, and ifother people happen to get something out of it, that’s only a bonus. (At somepoint I’ll be answering for Heartshipping too.)

And of course theseare only my interpretations/opinions.

There are two waysPride can be approached: either Seto makes visits to the Netherworld, or Atemthrough some means exists in the modern world. I’ll try to acknowledge thedifferences where appropriate in my answers.

I think Seto makingroutine trips to the Netherworld would be an alright choice for the couple.It’s intriguing how Seto is both so independent as a person and yet so co-dependenton Atem, but I think a long distance relationship would work out well for thetwo. Seto needs space but would understand he has someone who loves, desires,and supports him even as they’re physically apart. Likewise, I think Atem wouldbe satisfied in what they share. I characterize Atem as more calm and at peacepost-canon and I think he’s both loving and independent, and he’d cherish howdeeply Seto feels for him and how they’ve both followed each other from thestart.

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What they watch during movie dates and what kind ofsnacks they get from concessions.

Again, I don’tthink Seto watches much television or movies. But for some reason, I imagineAtem might really dig documentaries. It’s not just about absorbing informationhe hasn’t yet learned of the modern world. Rather I think he may actually enjoythe act of learning itself, given it’s in an entertaining package. I think he’dlike watching other genres of film too, though more casually. It would takesome time for him to develop his own tastes with it, since he wouldn’t be astired with clichés and tropes as most people.

Seto might bringdownloaded media to Atem in the Netherworld, and they’d sit on the palacerooftop over a candled city and under the deep starry sky, leaning into eachother as a floating panel of light plays the movie. Seto might become bored andbegin making plans for his work, but he’s still sitting there and Atem is restingagainst him and their warmth pools together, and when the film is over Atemasks him to maybe bring some new movies for next time. “Maybe one with moreaction so you don’t get bored.” (Atem noticed.)

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Which one gets in to a fightwith the other’s parents.                                                                    

If we’re in themodern world, neither one has a living parent. In the Netherworld, there’s allkinds of possibilities to play with here.

If Atem’s fatherwas present in the Netherworld, I think Atem would be close to him. He soclearly carried affection for his father’s memory in the series’ final arc. ButSeto would keep his distance from Aknamkanon.Aside from Seto’s sharply asocial nature, I think he’d feel like he wasencroaching and he’d also feel out of place within that father/son bond.

I consider Atem andYugi to have a brotherly affection for each other, and based on the ending toDSoD, it seems Seto’s warmed a small bit to Yugi. (I’m a sucker for Rivalshipbromance regardless.) I imagine Mokuba would figure out his brother is gay andinvolved with Atem before Seto actually comes out to him, and Mokuba would besupportive.

There’s somethingvery complex going on between Mokuba and Seto and Atem in DSoD (it’s awhirlpool of love, hate, fear, and hope) and there aren’t immediate answershere and the water would need to smooth. Mokuba and Seto already had a complexrelationship; Atem and Seto already had a complex relationship. I can’t reallydistill it so simply. But I think they’d come to an understanding. I think apart of Seto might be ashamed, while Mokuba dearly wants his brother to findsome patch of happiness even if Mokuba carries a splotch of resentment. (Ithink the fandom takes it for granted that even in the anime it’s impliedMokuba and Seto have a strain on their relationship—that doesn’t change thefact they love each other deeply.) I think Mokuba might have mixed feelingstowards Atem initially, even if he keeps them to himself, but there’d be timeto heal and bond.

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What kind of street performance they’d put on to raisemoney if they were stranded somewhere.

Aren’t they bothfamous? They’d sell autographs!

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How they’d be as parents if theyhad-a-kid/someone-forced-a-kid-on-them.

I’ve made it clearI interpret Seto as being keenly uncomfortable at the prospect of fatherhood,due to his history, his Gozaburo-complex, and the issues in his mental health.I see Atem as a character going either way. If his lover doesn’t want children,he’d be happy with not having children. If his lover does want children, he’dbe happy with having children. He could see himself being a good father and hedoesn’t mind children, but children aren’t a goal for him. Having children issomething he’s open to but not actively interested in, is my take on the character.

I’ve brought up thesad circumstance before of how Seto’d be forced into fatherhood, but also howhe’d prove to be a far better father than he had feared. He’d be quiet, softer,a bit distant. He’d have times where he’d lose his temper and have to suddenlyleave the room to calm down, but he would care achingly for that child. He’drub the child’s head gently, help them with their homework, carry them to bedwhen they’ve fallen asleep in the car.

I think Atem wouldprove to be a damn solid parent actually, warm and encouraging yet firm. Thisis in the realm of the mortal world, but maybe he’d take the child out fishingor bring them to museums. Atem might prompt the child to make a drawing forPapa Seto or he’d build colorful Play-Doh sculptures with them. He’d emboldenthem to make friends and put themselves out there. And he’d also be the one totell them to be kind to others, to be fair and use judgement, and scold themwhen they’ve done wrong.

Atem plays theactive firm parent, and Seto the quiet soft parent, but the child is well lovedand the three form a cozy family together.

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Who would cause the most trouble during a camping tripand how.

I would say thecouple isn’t exactly the type to go out camping but then I did just read theaskee’s fic, The Newly Revised Book of the Dead, wherein Atem and Seto spend a decentamount of the story essentially camping. They both strike me as practicalorganized people (maybe not in the emotions department, but in work andhobbies), so I think they’d be able to tackle camping just fine. Though Atemwould enjoy the adventure more than Seto would.

In reality, I thinkthe two would take walks along the river’s edge, watching the beads of lightbob and shimmer on the water and seeing the birds skim the air. They maybriefly hold hands a few times.

Atem might try toconvince Seto to go horseback riding. As a joke, he’d tell Seto the horse’sname is Gingersnap and insist, “You have to say her name if you want to gainher trust.” And Seto would ask, “Why is a horse in Ancient Egypt namedGingersnap?”

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What they would give each other as both a serious giftand a troll gift.

Seto is so cluelessabout gifts, so he’d ask up front what Atem wants for his birthday orChristmas. Atem is a bit more brave with gift-giving, making guesses and givingthings purely for surprise. If in the modern world, he might give Setohardcover books or a framed photograph of the wild ocean or maybe a handsomewatch. And Atem might teasingly buy goofy Duel Monsters memorabilia for theirhome, like a Blue Eyes White Dragon bottle-opener or a stuffed Kuriboh. MaybeAtem leaves the stuffed Kuriboh in Seto’s home office for him to discover, andwhile initially Seto is indifferent, overtime the toy becomes somethingprecious to him and he keeps it nestled beside his pen set.

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Who moves in with them as an unfortunate third wheelroommate.

In the Netherworld,Seto himself is kind of a third wheel to the palace, isn’t he? I feel like he’dact stiff with Set, Mahaad, Mana, all of them. It’d take a while to warm tothem at all.

If Atem and Setoare together in the modern world, Atem’s friends may spend the occasional nightin their home. Yugi and Anzu would be very polite guests, while Jonouchi andHonda would visit Atem but they’d tend not to stay the night.

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How they feel about handholding and sudden kisses in theear-cheek vicinity.

I characterize bothAtem and Seto as private in tenderness and also not touchy-feely to begin with.PDA does not happen with them, and even in private they don’t cling to each other.But they’ll lean into each other when they read and they’ll cuddle in bedtogether, and it’s sweet and warm, and it’s enough to know what they mean toeach other.

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Who’s always snapping photos and who’s pack-rattingclutter.

I don’t thinkeither is taking many photographs. Nor is Seto into collecting small materialgoods. I’ve already mentioned Atem buys silly Duel Monsters merchandise half asa joke, half because he honestly finds it charming. I feel like he might taketo collecting certain knickknacks too, items he finds fascinating or cool.

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Who hogs the bathroom in the morning and who causestoothpaste related drama.

Seto and Atem areboth pampered rich kids, and neither of them cleans toilets. In theNetherworld… how do bathrooms work? Do they have magically running water? Orwill Seto be making a fuss about how barbaric and unhygienic it is, at leastfor the first few visits until he gets over it up?

Atem might be the typeto leave the bathroom door cracked when he uses it and this mildly annoys Seto,and Seto will shut the door if he passes it.

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What their matching costumes were for that one party.

Seto is an assholewho refuses to dress in a costume. This one is kind of stumping me actually,because I don’t think Atem would really care much about dressing up as a pair.They can be the boring killjoys of the party together: that’s their matchingoutfit.

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If I think they’d get married and why or why not.

The answer to thisquestion is very dependent on which version of Prideshipping we go with.

If Atem exists inthe modern world, I don’t think marriage is on either character’s mind. I don’tthink either one is particularly romantically-minded nor do they feel the needto announce their bond in paperwork. What the case might be is one day theyrealize they’re fifty-years-old and have been together for over thirty years,so why not? But the ceremony would be small and short and more just to have iton the record. If anything, it’d be their friends and family who are moreexcited by the news and the ceremony. Maybe Atem would go along with theexcitement and have some elegant decorations strung around the room and foodplatters set out for their sake.

On the other hand,I think the two would marry with more passion, more personal investment, ifSeto was making visits to Atem in the Netherworld. The two have times of beingseparated physically: they want something to signify they’re always together inheart—they want a symbol of it. There’s something possessive here too, likeleaving a mark on each other. The ceremony would be small and quiet, as Setoand Atem are both private people in their tenderness, but it’d be warm andmeaningful.

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Who has over a thousand unread emails in their inbox orfive hundred icons on their computer desktop and how the other reacts to thisgross mismanagement.

Seto is a CEO of amammoth corporation, so I think it’s fair to wager he has a lot of crap on hiscomputer. Atem doesn’t care; Atem only even recognizes like three of thoseicons.

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What their hidden artistic talents are and howappreciative the other is of these talents.

Again, I think Setosketches blueprints for things he doesn’t intend to build, maybe fantasticalthings that can’t be built, as a way of clearing his heart on harder days.Maybe Atem watches him sketch, and he’s watching in silence for a while, and thenhe comments softly, “You’re very good at drawing.”

Maybe one day Atemasks if Seto would try drawing this thing or that. Maybe Seto does draw it forhim.

I imagine Atem as amore athletic type, someone who likes swimming and horseback riding andfishing. I feel like he might try painting or drawing but not have much talentfor it. “You’re much better,” he’d tell Seto.

But Atem is good atswiftly solving problems and thinking on his feet, conjuring creative solutions.It’s a talent Seto has always admired in him.

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What they consider each other’s most attractive qualityand/or their favourite thing about the other.

Atem is like a point of brilliant clarity for Seto, and yet he’salso a symbol of so many spiraling things: the past, hatred, failure, connection,death, passion, and most intensely–most brightly–he represents hope. Atemawoke Seto from his numbness, inspired Seto and gave him the tools he needed tosave himself from despair. Even now, Atem harbors a kind of radiantconfidence and calmness that braces Seto and grants him brightness.

For Atem, Seto validated his existence as his own being, notYugi but a whole other person, a deeply valued rival. What Atem admires in Setonow is his passion, how he refuses to give up the battle until he finds ananswer, how strongly his spirit fights. Seto chased Atem from the start and henever gave up.