#So my brain is telling me I should detransition

[quillandrapier]

You could be having the most harrowing mental health episode and you just have to clean and be present.

[drdemonprince]

I was never really certain about my transition in the way that most gatekeeping hormone prescribers and curious members of the public demand that a trans person be. I didn’t “always know” that I was not cisgender. I haven’t “always known” anything about myself. Very few truths about me have always remained true, my existence is too interpersonal, contextual, and ever-evolving for all of that. (So is most everyone else’s, I think). I don’t think that the fact I’d eventually choose to exercise my body autonomy at age 30 by taking hormones is a decision I could have foreseen when I was a child. All that I knew about being transgender when I was a kid was a fact that most children intuitively know: gender assignment was a violation of my freedom, of everyone’s freedom in fact, and it was wrong. As an infant and then a child and teenager, people kept imposing labels on me; they kept forcing me and my body into prescribed gendered boxes, and while the specific labels and boxes never really felt like the right ones, the most disturbing part about it all was the forcing. No coerced identity would have ever felt right. Children can tell when secrets are being kept from them, and when adults are restricting their choices. They notice that they and the other children are being lined up boy-girl, boy-girl, without ever being told what a girl or a boy even is. They can see their parents frowning when they reach for the doll with the shimmery hair, or climb atop the neighbor kid on the playground. Kids know that they are forbidden from sitting with their legs spread wide or flicking their wrist, and their gender illegibility is shamed in them, long before they get any answers about what gender means or where it comes from or why it’s so important that they make themselves easy to understand.

Like the cloned children in Never Let Me Go who grow up being conditioned for a life of forced organ donation, children in a cissexist society grow up conditioned to fall within certain gendered boundary lines, and by the time they learn that the reason for this is almost completely arbitrary, they can’t imagine any alternative. Not until some of them hear about gender transition and find the prospect very compelling, for some reason. You can say that reason is because some of us are inherently trans, but there’s absolutely nothing in the way of brain science, genetics research, or even sociological data to back that up. Besides, the search for a biological “reason” that people are transgender or queer runs counter to the goal of queer liberation in the long run. Science only needs to explain the existence of transgender people (or queer people more broadly) if our existence is in some way aberrant or a problem. If queerness is accepted as a form of human diversity that simply exists, then there is no need to excuse it by claiming that it is never a choice. It can be a choice, if a person wants to make it, and hopefully it satisfies them, but maybe it won’t. Freedom to choose means freedom to forever be dissatisfied, to search endlessly for more, and yes, to capable of making a mistake. I would say that viewing myself as transgender was a choice. I decided to break away from the straight, female categories to which I had been assigned, and doing so allowed me to view the legal and societal power structures that had restricted me more clearly. It helped me better understand myself. But that does not mean the actual act of breaking away was always the truest reflection of who I am. The version of me that transitioned was a person on the run — and how a person behaves, thinks, and self-conceives when they are fleeing is not a great reflection of whom they might be if they were safe. If we all lived in a world free from mandatory gender assignment, and where our bodies were not mined for meaning about the kinds of sex we liked, the clothing we should wear, the personality qualities we have, the roles we should play in society, and the connections we are allowed to form with others, who knows who each of us might be. But none of us get to live in that world, or ever gets completely free from the frameworks of heterosexuality and the gender binary. These frameworks shape every legal institution we encounter, every school we attend, every item of clothing we put on, every substance we take into our bodies, every piece of paperwork that ever gets printed about us, and every look another person ever gives us. And so we make due with rewriting and recombining those frameworks as best we can. It should come as no surprise that those us who break away from the binary have to experiment and revise how we understand ourselves quite a bit — sometimes getting things “wrong,” sometimes searching forever for the semblance of something “right.” Sometimes reveling in the “wrongness” of all the available options is kind of the point.

I wrote about my detransition, retransition, and the eternal dissatisfaction that is probably the corest truth of my identity. It's free to read or have narrated to you on my Substack.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Fuck, what am I thinking? I can't believe I'm really doing this. Look at these gorgeous tits I made my male body grow.... I look and sound so girly, even though I've got a nice fat cock. Thank god it didn't shrink from me begging my parents to become a perverted, delusional fakegirl way back in Junior high. I'm almost twenty now and I've been playing pretend so long I can hardly remember what it's like to live as a guy. Or maybe I already do? I definitely jerk off a lot. But not to men. No, I just let men fuck me at clubs, grope me, I walk the park at night in my skimpy tennis skirt and a tiny tank top, my cock erect and pushing up my skirt, and I let groups of men heckle, misgender, and force themselves on me as they call me the f-word and a boy with tits. I love having groups of men rip my clothes off, fuck my ass, and treat me like garbage. Then I go home..... usually naked, my parents just shaking their heads, telling me to clean up. Then I jerk off. I watch girls on my phone getting undressed, girls with big tits, I watch voyeur content. Pregnant girls filmed in public, their fat asses and big milky tits all sweaty and bouncing. I watch so much porn it's totally ruined my brain..... I don't think I could ever get off normally. Just watching my big boy tits jiggle and bounce as I jerk it to pretty girls getting watched and stalked in public.

I don't want to give up my boobs, but I have to. Part of me wants to stay girly and live like this, getting gangbanged for fun. But I know what I really want deep down. To be the porn-obsessed man I was always meant to be, filming and gooning to girls in public. 4Chan and other boards I post to keep reminding me how badly I need to face reality and detransition. That it's only a matter of time for fakegirls like me and I need to face reality, go off estrogen, get my silly boy tits chopped off, go on T and put this embarrassing crossdressing chapter of my life behind me. I've seen soooo many fakegirls on those forums even prettier and better 'passing' than me, with boobs twice or triple my size get convinced to detrans and become guys. Not that any of us really pass all that well.... I get reminded every day how much I look like a boy. Plus it's always a good idea to remind silly, delusional fakegirls that they're pervy men cosplaying as cock hungry sluts.

So I've made my choice to finally go for it. I just jerked off as I flushed my estrogen and t-blockers. It sucks cause my hairline is already so bad I can say goodbye to having hair. I can't wait for my beard to come in, my voice to crack, my arms and boobs to get hairier, my plump sexy ass all these men love fucking, hairy and masculine. I'll lose my soft skin and pretty figure.... get all muscular and bony. Broader shoulders, no hips, maybe even bigger hands and feet if I'm lucky, lose everything about me that ever tricked people into thinking I might be a girl. I'm edging all day thinking about it, seeing my cock get even bigger, my balls to get nice and engorged, pumping my body with T as my orgasms get so much more intense! Finally, I can't wait to march into my doctor's office and ask to have my breasts removed. I can cum so easily fantasizing about it, biting my lip, trying to look girly as I show him my breasts, sprouting hair, stubble on my face, my girly voice cracking. He'll be so happy I'm detransing finally!

Then once I'm finally a guy I'll live out all my voyeur kinks, not that I didn't get a taste having access to women's bathrooms and locker rooms, the latter I always made sure to expose me cock in and make sure the girls around me saw I had an erection. Most reacted with discomfort, some told me I should go jerk off so it's not as noticeable. I'd ask them if they wanted to help with that.... A few even did, sucking me off or giving me a quick handjob while complaining that I shouldn't be allowed in the women's locker room at the gym. The only times I've ever touched a girl.... so far. I'm definitely going to be a serial groper. I fantasize every day about just reaching out and grabbing girls' breasts, pulling them out of their dresses or yanking up their tank tops. I can't wait to hit on them and say disgusting pervy remarks as I jerk off in public. I see hugely pregnant college girls every day at the park, sitting and fanning themselves after jogging/waddling kind of fast for five minutes at a time. Their milky tits get so sweaty and jiggle like crazy if they do anything.... I can't wait to shove my cock in their faces and demand it be serviced as I grab their tits. I'll slap their big baby-filled bellies as I cum and thank them for being good public cumdumps..... Ooo, and of course I'll watch girls through their windows and follow them home, all the stuff I used to edge to for hours on end as a fakegirl with a sore ass full of guys' cum..... I can't wait to live out all my fantasies and show these college breeding cows who's boss!"

[redditreceipts]

So this is the answer to an ask that @wild-wombytch has sent me, and I chose to answer it in this format because the original ask contains a link to a post that I'd rather not share, to maintain respectful of OP.

Thank you, I'm fine! and cool that you like the cat pictures ❤️ I'll make a separate post for you just containing cat pictures

and thank you so much for saying that! ❤️❤️

yeah, so @wild-wombytch refers to a post that deals with a person who got a tumor from HRT. They have made a post in a mainstream trans subreddit and the people on there got mad at them, because they didn't want to recognise the downsides of HRT:

So this is just a whole other level. People hating on OP because they got a brain tumor is so despicable. These people can rot in hell

(Also, if you want to use my post to make fun of OP for having a brain tumor, enjoy getting blocked 🥰 I try to make this a welcoming place for people who are transitioning, detransitioning or having problems with their medical transition. If you can't handle that, please fuck off)

The specific kind of tumor this person is talking about, a pituitary brain tumor, is (as stated) probably linked to HRT in trans women. This reminds me of the myriad of posts by trans women talking about galactorrhea. Galactorrhea refers to the spontaneous lactation without having given birth or breastfeeding a baby, which can occur in women and men. And what is the most common cause for Galactorrhea?

the most common cause of galactorrhea is a benign tumor in your brain. Even though benign tumors are not as dangerous as cancerous tumors, they can still cause severe dysfunction over time, because they can still grow slowly and compress vital areas of the brain. It's definetly not a topic to be joked about.

I was able to find a ton of "I am spontaneously lactating as a trans woman, is this normal"-posts in the span of seconds. Remember: Galactorrhea, a condition that is most commonly caused by a brain tumor. And what are the responses?

keep in mind: this person probably had not only been lactating, but even had blood in their nipple discarge. Up to a fifth of women who have that sign of discharge have a malignant cause for it - I can't imagine that the prospect for biological males on HRT is much better.

so yeah, instead of telling them to go see their doctor or anything, they link them to r/AdultBreastfeeding - it's a fetish subreddit for people who have a lactation fetish and want to induce lactation.

I mean, a large amount of the stuff I post here is kinda funny and absurd, but if you get a bit deeper in these online echochambers, it gets really dark real quick. Where did we go from "everyone should live their lives as they wish" to "downplaying brain cancer to own the terfs"? And this doesn't mean that every trans woman should immediately stop their HRT just to prevent that from happening. That's not what I'm saying here. I'm just saying that these people genuinely don't seem to care about anything other than their ideology, and even medical professionals are seen as "lying" and "bigoted", and people with brain tumors are accused of "attacking the trans community". How is this not a cult??

Also, I wish the person who made the original post all the best :) I hope they find people who support them and help them heal

[ggggggfft]

Have you ever helped detransition someone before, if not outright forced their detransition?

That depends on your definition of “forced.” I would say I have coerced girls into detransitioning, but the ones I’ve toyed with have always wanted to be stripped of their faux masculinity in the most humiliating ways. I give them plenty of opportunities to walk away. To say no and try to abandon this particular kink. But they always - Always come crawling back telling me how drippy are for transphobic porn. How they need Daddy to fuck their little girly pussy and turn them straight. They can’t help it. Craving dominate male seed and obeying their biological urge to reproduce is literally hardwired into their smaller brains. They will always be female first and fakeboys second.

My first experience with detransing was with my ftm girlfriend of several years. He was a she when we first met and started dating and when he finally worked up the courage to transition he only did so socially. I continued fucking his soft, womanly body and playing with his massive tits like nothing had changed, because aside from a few key words and a new name, there was nothing different about her. We were still having straight sex with my cock buried deep inside her slutty testosterone free pussy. She still loved to have her nipples teased and played with and it made her so wet. She was still fertile and could get pregnant at any time. She wasn’t on birth control.

After about two years of being out and still no HRT we began to play with her gender in the bedroom. She liked when I told her to take it like a girl. That I was raping her like a girl. That she would be a good girl for Daddy’s cock and let me use her pussy. In her mind, it was all pretend, playing into her fantasies of being a femboy. For me it was the perfect way to subconsciously train her to enjoy her body as it was. For her to come to terms with her birth sex and accept her womanhood. To go back to being my girlfriend. We broke up and to this day she is still going by he/him pronouns, but she has had no surgeries and while she did recently start hormone therapy she is taking the lowest dose possible. She has a very cute little mustache and gets misgendered every day by strangers, coworkers, and even supportive family members who are fully aware she is trans and has been for years.

We fuck now and then and when we do she asks me to fuck her cunt instead of her ass and get her pregnant. She calls her clitoris her babydick or even her boyclit and the last time we fucked I was testing the waters and called it her clitoris and she said nothing in her defense. Every time I pull her pants off she’s wearing panties and she will “cross dress” if I tell her too. I’ve never come out and told her about my fetish but I feel like part of her must know or at least suspect the truth, and yet she still can’t keep her legs closed around me. She’s my long term project and I hope as her biological clock starts counting down she finally cracks and gives in to what she obviously needs.

What really kicked off my hunt for fakeboys was a girl here on tumblr. I liked her blog description, she was 18, and she had reblogged so many posts begging for transphobic asks and rape threats. I sent her what I now think was a pretty mid dm describing how I’d fix her if she was my daughter and I found her blog. She responded by sending me pics of her shaved teen pussy and begging for more filth. I was hooked after that. She’s now fully addicted to misogyny and incest porn. She’s my good little zoomer slut who I can always hit up for pussy inspections or to make her drink her own piss. She fully accepts that she is a woman in mind, body, and soul, but we agree she should continue hormone treatment because it makes her even more horny and depraved.

She has gone out in a wig and breast forms and dresses in public for me and will sit in cafes with her legs spread and her big red cherry and drooling slick cunt on display for the world to see. She’s terrified of being clocked and actually hate crimed every time, but she just makes such a convincing cis girl that nobody ever notices. As soon as she gets home she gets on cam with me and rubs her clitoris while thanking me for showing her what a dumb tranny she is. I have her crouch in front of the camera and finger herself until she squirts onto her gym clothes for tomorrow. I have her chant that she is not a man. She will never be a man. She is her cunt and cunts are slaves to cock. I have her endlessly repeat that she wants to be a girl because girls are stupid and inferior and get to be dumb, brainless cumrags eating ass and getting fisted all day long while she jackhammers a dildo into her sweaty cunt.

She started out wanting to be misgendered and feminized, but I’m proud to say I broke her. If it doesn’t involve detrans and misogyny, she can’t get off any more. We’ve discussed it and if we were to move in together, with her coming to a new city in a new state where nobody knows her she would definitely detrans for real.

Right now I’m working on a girl who hasn’t come to terms with the reality of her desires. She is also a filthy sex slave but she insists on using those annoying he/they pronouns. She’s entertained the idea of becoming my good girl all the way, but is still reluctant. I get so turned on watching her try to resist her desires but knowing it’s futile in the end. if I want her to be a girl, she will be a girl. End of story.

Last night I had a great session with another ftm who started out being unsure and using he/him, but by 4 in the morning I had her telling me how she wanted my big fat cock to fuck a baby into her in front of her family. How she wants her dad to see his grandson being made. She fell completely in love with her vagina and the pleasure it can bring real men by the end of the night.

I’m waiting to sniff out the perfect gold-star tomboy faildyke to forcibly detrans. I want her to be defiant and tough and mean as hell so that when she’s a fucked out set of holes who only lives to worship men and get pregnant and give birth and has an IQ of 50 and giant plastic tits that victory will feel all the more glorious.

There are others but this post is already so long. If you’d like to make it longer, you can always dm me or send anons if you’re nervous. I love knowing there’s a shy girl behind the screen somewhere frantically rubbing her clit to these asks.

[ftm-girl-evi]

what is your deepest darkest sexual fantasy?

I want to get to know a man, who respects me for who I am. I want him to get close to me, to form a deep bond with him. Then I want him to slowly manipulate me into being more and more womanly. I want him to detransition me. I want him to make me into his corrected girlfriend. I would love to be pinned down by him while we're in a mating position as male and female, I want to learn my place under him. I want to feel his seed filling up my womb. I need him to fully cure my silly little brain, that ever dared to tell me that I'm a boy. Gosh, just thinking about this makes me so wet. A need a man to teach me that I'm a woman and that I should start acting like one and accept my place as a female. I have XX chromosomes for a reason ;)

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[dxggender]

thinking about making u misgender urself over & over as a mantra while I hold ur leash and force u to thrust against ur will. smth like "I'm a good puppy boy" so I can hear you say it faster and faster as your cock gets closer to inseminating my womb. want 2 get u close & ask you if you're a girl so I can hear you frantically babble "imaBOY BOY BOY I swear I swearimnotagirl I'm a boy BOY BOY"

I have millions of eggs in me from the moment I'm born & ur balls make sperm that travel to the womb to fertilize them. we r just a straight girl & boy. think abt how pretty I'll look detransitioning off my artificial testosterone & growing fat udders for the litter I raped you into giving me

wish I could correctly gender you as male in front of people & explain you're puppy boy being milked for his sperm now. make u tell everyone ur no longer a girl because you can't resist your male urges and have a fundamentally male brain

I know boys get hard when reading about this kind of thing. you should let your dickbrain control you, okay? work on thinking more like a man. no thoughts, just fucking a hole in front of you. want to train puppy into his first rape, you'll be the kind of tranny """"woman"""" even other trannies he/him. you're a sex predator. you're a disgusting man with gross fetishes stroking himself to a real woman bullying him online

but your male brain, your dick says it's hot, so you're going to keep rereading it & letting yourself tent up. because men don't give a shit about anything but making their cock cum, right? tell me you're not a girl

AAUH WROOF WOOFF IM NOT A GIRL IM A DUMB STUPID IDIOT BOY FHDHEGFJ. TRYING AND FAILING TO NOT GET HARD READING THJIS

[pansyboybloom]

I think maybe my tone and language may out sent the wrong message because I agree with you and a lot of the points you are saying. We probably also are just in different spaces online and my use of the term "anti trans masculinity" was wrong and misconstrued.

When I say anti trans masculinity, I don't mean anti trans men. I mean anti masculinity in the context of being trans. Probably not the best term.

My "not immune to terf propaganda" was taken out of context. I'm saying that I've seen a lot of trans people online still propagate the idea of trans women are predatory and ugly for being masculine, and trans men are victims of grooming. Especially with poc trans people. Black trans women are almost immediately clocked as groomers, even by fellow trans women.

I've seen other transmascs fall into a pipeline of "feminine transboys are the only valid ones", with those transboys tell others that masculine features are disgusting. I've seen transmascs hold off from transitioning because they are scared to turn "ugly". Because feminine = attractive and masculine = ugly.

Also I talked about the uwu cunt boy fetish of trans men because it's become incredibly more popular, including in "trans friendly" spaces from what I have seen. I didn't mean to say that trans women aren't fetishized, they most definitely are. Trans people are very much seen as a kink to a lot of people.

While you are fair to call bs on my claim that transfems are ripped apart if they don't immediately transition, I have seen it. Though I definitely did word that statment wrong. I've seen trans women online post videos of them in makeup and wearing wigs, then a video of them out of that, and told in the comments that they "look prettier when passing", "you should only do content while passing", and "be glad you aren't a man anymore".

While we can agree to disagree about transmen experiencing a specific kind of bigotry (oppression wasn't a good word), I was talking about the very small communities of trans women saying that trans men are "betraying them", and how that isn't an excuse to turn around and be misogynistic to them. Even if a transfem is saying something slightly annoying, transmen will rip her apart.

I'm sorry that my anons came off the wrong way. Also not trying to immediately push off the blame to me being uneducated. I try my best to hold up my transfem friends and I do try call out fellow trans guys for being misogynistic.

once again giving the heads up that the schizo word/brain salad is making articulation hard and that my hand tremors are really bad today, so any tone or misspellings or anything is bc of that! just in case

thank you for your reply, i know my own was super long, so i appreciate you taking the time to read and digest that giant wall of words. i hope it didn't come across as aggressive, as that wasn't my intent (i hate to keep giving the same excuse, but I'm schizo spec and have a very hard time articulating myself)

i will agree that we are likely in different areas online-- I've actually made it my new year resolution to spend less (for lack of a better word) time in online spaces and more irl (PFLAG has been wonderful to me <3) so I'm a little behind on the attitudes on tumblr, so to speak, and was coming more from what I've seen in person and in literature (once again recommending whipping girl! it is a great place to start on transfeminist theory, though it is long. if that's something you're interested in, Julia Serano, the author, reads her audiobook and you can likely find it at your local library/on libby)

I apologize that i didn't realize the context of the terf comment! that's on me. I agree that a lot of trans people regurgitate the "trans women are predatory and ugly for being masculine, and trans men are victims of grooming". the amount of trans men i have seen (specifying trans men since that's the space i spend the most time in) who have detransitioned into 'dysphoric females' and buy into the sudden onset dyphoria theory so they can have more of a community with radfems.... shudders. I think this serves as an example of how the unique experiences trans men have can turn into bigotry. not excusing trans men who go full radfem's actions, bc they are hurtful and dangerous, but i see radfems twist a lot of young trans men's fears surrounding men developed by the sex binary and sex essentialism to convince them they are being groomed and have to stay women or will lose their whole community/safe space. i see this a LOT with young adult straight trans men who are so scared of being rejected by their lesbian radfem community that they turn on fellow trans people. as i said in the last ask, the idea that women are 'abandoning' their girlies to go be with the enemy is definitely dangerous when put to the extreme by communities like radfems. i wouldn't call it a systemic transmisandery (or similar word) issue as much as i would a symptom of misogyny, essentalism, & transphobia, but it should be something we as a community talk about, esp since these 'dysphoric females' genuinely hurt the rest of us. especially since, in my experience, these communities tend to be predominately white, so like you said, Black trans women get the brunt of the vileness. the whole community at large has failed Black trans women and fems, and transmisgoynoir is something that must become the forefront of community discussion.

okay back on track lol.

i misunderstood your point on the 'fem tboy is the only valid one' earlier, so sorry. trans men as a community most certainly do that to other trans men, but, just speaking as a gnc trans man, I've noticed that like, it comes less from a fear of masc-ness and instead from a fear of fatness/loss of conventional attractiveness and also this misunderstanding of gnc as a whole. not wanting to start t bc 'i'll get fat/i'll go bald/i'll have to stop wearing skirts' is a fear i see a LOT in pre t gnc trans men circles, especially the young ones, and i think that really shows how we as a community have failed young trans men. i think by showing love for fatness/bears, 'non conventionally attractive' men, be it balding, acne, whatever, and showing how to play with gender outside of fem/masc would solve that problem, or start to. but that's just coming from my perspective as a white, fat, gnc gay guy, so i cant speak for everyone and every trans kid.

and oh my god just adding onto the 'cuntboi' thing-- as a guy who wants phallo, the idea that we're all white thin sexually ambiguous bottoms who enjoy vaginal penetration makes me want to eat my pants. i think that affects all trans people-- femininity is synonymous with submission, sex, and fetish for a lot of people-- it def is frustrating when you see even other trans guys perpetuate it. i think it's less a hate of masculinity and more a fetishizing of femininity and using that fetish to fetishize trans men. it's like how autogynophilia is used all the time to denounce trans women but autoandrophilia is rarely mentioned for us, bc why would we want to be men during sex? we're all bottom-submissive cunt boys, we would never want to imagine and get off on being men during sex!! that's why im not the biggest believer in autoandrophilia being a modern internet problem as much as it could be.

As for your comment on trans women getting ripped apart for not passing: i personally think that is a product of effemimania, which is a term Julia Serano coined in Whipping Girl (i know, i know, this is like the 5th time I've mentioned it) to describe our cultural obsession with “male femininity,” specifically the manner in which such expressions are routinely sensationalized, rigorously policed, and pathologized, instead of any specific anti trans masculinity. Basically, it is spurred on by an obsession with what womanhood looks like and a near fetishistic need to watch trans women practice it the way you want them too to enforce control over them.

once agian, thanks for reaching out. i'm glad to know we could have a conversation, ya know? if you have any other questions, don't hesitate to reach out again

[challahbread]

ignore this if its weird/too intrusive but youve talked a bit on here about detransitioning and i was wondering how you figured out thats what you wanted to do?

if it sucks, hit da bricks

no but seriously, in the experience of myself and many of my other detransitioned friends, you might feel like you've reached a point in your transition where you're just doing it to do it, that you can't go back, because your friends and peers have told you that it's impossible, why would you want to anyways, detransers are a myth created by terfs (lmao) etc... for me personally, i looked in the mirror and i couldn't recognize myself, in a bad way. i don't think it should be controversial to say Being Raised In A Misogynist Society As A Girl Is Weird And Bad, so of course it impacted my developing dysphoria. (i was professionally diagnosed too, btw. there's no Gold Star Trans immunity!)

i think everyone should keep these things in mind: there is no right way to be a man, there is no right way to be a woman, there is no right way to be yourself other than yourself. you have no obligations to identify a certain way based on how you present or by what interests you have. you also have the freedom to identify however you wish, and change it to what suits you! is that not the whole point of the trans experience lmao most importantly, if something is not making you happy, if it's actively making you UNHAPPY, you owe it to yourself to put an end to it, and you don't owe anyone else justifications.

i rarely post about the grief and guilt and regret i feel daily, it's funny that i got this ask because it's been Bad recently (and i was in the middle of writing prose abt it when i checked tumblr lol). i try to tell myself that this is the body that brought me to this point, to which my brain says "YEAH BUT YOU COULDA BROUGHT IT HERE IN BETTER CONDITION," to which i say Yeah:) But:) this is the only way i've gotten here. for all intents and purposes, this is the only timeline that exists. i'm here now, and i have friends, i have respect among my peers, i have good grades in college (despite the terrors), and even though it doesn't feel like it most of the time, i do have a bright future.

[a-dragons-explanations]

I don't even necessarily agree it's the same as 'disagreeing with trans people ' (I find this perhaps harmfully reductive to both issues beyond the right to identify how one wishes, really? Particularly these days. Otherkin aren't having specifically targeted forced detransition in some places beyond the demographic overlap.) But I do find it absolutely bonkers to feel the need to say "I don't agree with otherkin".... Just, at all? I don't agree with Christians, Jewish faith, or in fact most any established religion; I don't make it a hill to die on. I just act about an adult about it, saying privately to myself "that isn't for me" and move on with my life. Who gives a shit if you agree with them? Do you not quietly disagree with people all the time? I don't like Voltron, should I outspokenly not agree with Voltron fans?

Yeah, hence my note as to the fact that they're not the same, there's just a parallel that I find useful in illustrating to people why it's not a good argument. It helps people wrap their brains around it to say "okay, we agree that this isn't okay to say to [x] group for [a b c] reasons. Why do you then think it's okay to say to [y] group? What difference is significant and relevant enough that it makes this a valid argument against [y], but not [x]?"

(And sometimes there is a strong answer to that question! This is the case for, for example, when people try to use this when arguing that pedophilia should be treated like a sexuality by saying "well, if you said this about gay people, it'd be bigoted!", because there's a key difference (several, depending on what argument exactly they're talking about) that makes the argument valid against one group but not the other. It's not an automatic gotcha - nothing is - it's just a tool to force yourself to re-examine your arguments and see if they actually hold up under scrutiny.)

Regardless of that detail, your main point I definitely agree with. People are allowed to not believe my soul is a dragon's or whatever - but it would be rude to go into my community and start telling me about that, for the same reason it would be rude to walk into a church and start complaining about how you don't think God is real.

Furthermore, I would argue that to say you "don't agree with" something like otherkinity doesn't just mean disagreeing on how the metaphysics of the world works like with a religion, it means "I don't agree with you about your own subjective, internal experience of identity", which is why I used the parallel to gender instead of religion. It's not disagreeing about the metaphysics of the world at large, it's Person A disagreeing with Person B's report of their own internal experiences - effectively saying "I know your identity and experiences better than you do." You can disagree with me that my soul is literally dragon-shaped, because that requires a belief in souls and that those souls can take nonhuman shapes - but you can't disagree with me that I identify as a dragon, or that I experience instincts, shifts, etc., because you are incapable of knowing my own internal experiences better than I do. Whatever your private explanation for why that might be, to simply say "no, that's not possible" is to demand either that I'm lying about my own experiences, or that I'm wrong about them (and thus that you have the authority to dictate that).

Which, I don't know which of those things the OP of the post that brings this up meant, though it seems likely to me it's the latter, since the former is hard to pull off when there's so many different explanations for why one might be nonhuman - it's hard to disagree with all of them. But the point stands regardless that even if it's the former, there's still a difference between having different metaphysical beliefs from someone, or even discussing your different beliefs and why you believe what you do in a mutual discussion, versus walking into their house unprompted to tell them you disagree with them.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Lying in bed fantasizing about how badly I want to detransition. Lose these big soft boobs I've grown, never pass as a girl again.... not that I pass very well now, do I, boys?" Anna reached into her pants, pulling out thick, rock-hard foot-long cock. She shook it for the camera, its swollen foreskin jiggling. "What have I done to myself? My feminine little three-inch cock is monster size now. I already feel like I'll never be a girl again because I did this. My balls are the size of lemons, nice and plump. To think what'll happen to my girly body if I stop taking my testosterone blockers. Those giant balls will flood my body with so much T I won't need injections at all. I'll never be mistaken for a girl ever again.

I'm so happy I stumbled on this community. I was just a happy-go-lucky trans girl walking through life oblivious, wearing sexy outfits, flaunting my growing boobs on social media. A bunch of guys started messaging me telling me how poorly I pass and they're surprised I even bother continue keeping up the act with how masculine I look. For some reason reading these DMs made my cock hard. All the comments were from former trans girls who stopped their silly game of dress up and detransed. They showed me before/after pics of how girly they were, all totally gorgeous with big boobs and fat asses, only to become fat greasy men with balding scalps and beards, huge beer bellies covered in stretch marks and hair.

I could hardly believe it. They kept interacting with my pics, asking when I was going to detrans, telling my followers I was thinking of going on T. I could hardly keep up with it. I made a pretty infamous video, all dolled up in a sexy dress, telling my followers I wasn't detransitioning...... yet. I was just thinking about it a little. This opened the floodgates and my comments and DMs were 100% overrun by people cheering me on to detransition. A lot of them said the best way to know if you should detrans is take Rocket. It does make your balls huge but as long as you stay on blockers it won't detrans you to have them. Apparently any real trans girl will be mortified to have a growing cock, and finally get SRS out of desperation after going on Rocket, fakegirls will become obsessed with gooning their new plaything.

Guess what camp I'm in? Even at six inches I started going outside way less, finding porn more interesting by the day. Now I jerk off the second I wake up until the night. I don't let myself cum. I let it build and build, so my cock is bloated and swollen, covered in painful scratches from my nails from pumping it all day, then if I'm lucky I have a wet dream. When I go out, I don't see girls as the same thing as me anymore, I see them as targets to pounce on or humiliate myself in front of by going up to them and gooning to them. Which I've started to do quite a lot. Especially pregnant girls, I love finding a couple a pretty college girls with big guts full of kids, their tits bouncing in their little tank tops, and I'll walk up jerking with one hand, squeezing my balls with the other, gasping and moaning, telling them I want to break their water and force them to give birth. A few have even taken me up on my horny guy-brained offer.

Now I'm totally obsessed with being a voyeur and gawking at pretty girls as I pump my growing cock. This is going to get even more fun when my voice cracks and I don't sound girly anymore. As it is now when I goon in the girls' room the other girls hear me and just knock on my stall to tell me to masturbate at home. I can't wait until they start kicking me out for being a guy pretending I'm a girl.... surprised they don't now since it's soooo obvious I'm not a girl! I can't wait until my facial hair starts growing and I get hair on my big bouncy boy tits.

Since starting Rocket I've also already put on about 25lbs. Some of that is my big meaty cock but I think it's a good sign for the kind of guy I'm detransing into, like soooo many mtftm detransitioners I've met, I think I can expect to get very, very fat, which perfectly suits the kind of perverted gooner I'm meant to be. Sweaty, hardly bathing, sitting at home all day engaging with pornography, commenting all kinds of gross stuff, subscribing to loads of OnlyFans girls that look hot like I used to and perving on them like a desperate loser, telling them how much I goon to them every day, how much I wish I could knock them up and make them cum. Godddd I can't wait! I should do it, shouldn't I? Go off my blockers today? I need to!" Anna bit her lip, pumping her oversized cock. "I need to become a boy so bad I can't stop! I want these big swollen balls of mine to flood my body with T and totally ruin all the hard work of transitioning so young. I can't wait to get my titties removed and tell my doctors I was just a dumb boy playing pretend, as I get fatter and fatter and more perverted, hitting on my nurses and fondling my cock in front of them. There's this cute brunette who takes my bloodpressure who's been pregnant like four times, her boobs must be an H-Cup! I think next time I see her I'm going to grope her tits just to see what happens, I bet I'll get milk all over her scrubs, it'll be so hot! ❤️"

[lunarsilkscreen]

Outting Trans Kids

I've been trying my best to stay out of this since my previous understanding was *I don't know what detransitioners go through*. I maintain that their testimony is only good for the queer community as a whole. (As long as they're not used to disenfranchise trans people as a whole )

Medical transition is NOT easy to get anywhere. And after getting it, people will take it upon themselves to steal your medication "for your own protection". (I'm F*ing 35, give me back my medications.)

I don't know why a trans person would wish to detransition *except* if they would like to have children of their own. It's a heavy mental toll for either decision in that case. And medical providers should be aware that both can harm a trans person.

I'll state that I know people that knew they didn't want children when they were young, and that never changed when they got older.

Me personally? I can't function as a whole person in the detransitioned state. (I'm talking Estrogen and Testosterone blockers) it's a night and day experience. The brain fog is back with a vengeance, and I cannot function as I used to, just keeping my head down and staying distracted with a job. Which is part of the reason I needed to leave the military in the first place. Because I couldn't function EXCEPT to goto work, and my work output was constantly getting worse. (Even as my skill improved which partially covered up the issue.)

Ok.

The reason the queer community doesn't like outing is because of queerphobia. Forcing the teachers to tell the parents put the teachers in confrontation with those parents if they are anti-trans or anti-queer. Parents in the past have gone heavy handed in forcing gender norms on their kids in order to "fix them" in the past, and this has resulted in increased suicide amongst queer youth.

The teachers may be put into a situation where doing their job can literally lead to that child's death.

On the other hand, that doesn't mean parents *won't* be understanding. And that information, as stated, can help them with the care of their children. But... Conversion Therapy (Therapy designed to force queer youth to not be queer.) Is still legal, and is still dangerous.

To be clear, I went to a religious summer camp that was uncomfortable for me to be at. (I got a perfect score in archery my second time shooting with a bow.) That's not what I'm considering as conversion therapy. It's literally an education designed to "make men, men" and "make women homemakers". And the "make men, men" part can be likened to torture. Which, you know, some people enjoy that. I wouldn't send unwilling or unprepared kids to that.

I feel like a lot of this sounds like rambling. But it's all important for the overall point.

So what do we do? Honestly, the only way to normalize being queer or trans is to stop hiding. Some parents are shitty parents, and they should probably not be parents. And outing the kids, while uncomfortable, outs the bad parents too.

But the system we have in place for children with unfit parents, the adoption care, everything sucks. Queer people are all but banned from adopting (unless they're in a hetero-assuming relationship) and some of the families that do give care to children abuse those children too.

If you're looking to fix the problem, you have to be willing to fix the WHOLE problem. But as it stands, the laws in places, the societal norms. They all say "Hide being queer, because if you don't, you will be fixed." And for detransitioners, it's worse, because they knew all that beforehand and still feel like they made a mistake.

There is a solution here, and it's not "Stop being queer." None of the "solutions" offered so far ensure that queer people can be. They all say "being queer is bad. And it's not safe to be out." No matter what you think by the queer looking representation in the media you consume. The media is imaginationland.

In the real world, queer people are assumed to be unfixable child predators. Unless they're children, then they're unfixable victims that will be predators when they get older.

As President Obama said, "the wheels of government are slow to turn". And while Queer representation is on the rise, acceptance isn't. We're still either seen as victims or sideshows.

[genderkoolaid]

"I have no clue how to word a reply to this post but honestly,,, I can't tell if it's just the villianization of detransitioning or just Everything about this post that kinda turns my brain into a train wreck" - Anonymous

okay. this is a doozy. im not gonna link the actual post (which was linked in the ask) bc I don't want to possibly be blamed for any potential hate that could get sent, but here's a screenshot.

so the implication here is that you have trans men going from believing that being trans is a medical disorder, to believing that trans men face unique oppression, to being transmisogynistic, to believing that misogyny is the basis of all oppression and only sex is real, to detransitioning to become a full TERF.

now, I can see some logic here: the fear is that focus on transandrophobia (which is believed to entail "transfems oppress us") will lead to an "AMAB vs AFAB" view, which in turn leads to bio-essentialism and "penis bad vagina good". Which is a real thing, viewing issues as "AMAB vs AFAB" IS a TERF talking point that should be called out as such when it is seen. 

But my problem with that is

 1. The dominant idea in the transandrophobia discussion is that transfems do not oppress us, do not have power over us, are not the main problem, and that solidarity with transfems is mandatory for trans liberation. While some people may fall into AMAB vs AFAB rhetoric, in my opinion that comes from a lack of understanding in transandrophobia and transmisogyny, and is not the prevailing opinion of most "TMRAs".

 2. This "pipeline" assumes that transmeds are where most "TMRAs" are coming from, and I... don't think that's true? Transmedicalism seems to be pretty universally rejected by everyone involved in the discussion. Many of us are genderqueer and nonbinary ourselves, many of us have unconventional transition goals, things that transmeds are opposed to. Transmeds are a group that is largely transmasc and discuss transness, yes, but I think we're just being grouped together because we are both "harmful transmasc groups". I don't think there's an actual ideological connection.

 3. Does this pipeline... exist? Like, we know the exclus to TERF pipeline exists, we've seen it in action or heard TERFs and ex-TERFs say it exists. But in terms of transmascs going from talking about transandrophobia to detransitioning to be TERFs, I have neither seen nor heard of that, and I question if this discussion has even been big enough for long enough for a substantial amount of detransitioned TERFs to have come from it?

now, having explained my issues with this "pipeline", I'm gonna say that this feels extremely fucked up. I've said before how the focus on transmascs who discuss our oppression as being TERFs-in-the-waiting feels like we are being seen as inherently AFAB. The idea that we will revert to our biological loyalty, that we can't be invested in ourselves and our experiences without that being reduce down to "AFAB separatism" and the like. I can't imagine being a TERF sympathizer after I've been suicide baited and harassed and swarmed by TERFs who call me a misogynist and a troon and that I should commit suicide for saying that trans men's voices on "women's" issues matter. Obviously this person disagrees with transandrophobia so it's not surprising that they've connected two groups that are widely-accepted as transphobic (transmeds and TERFs) to transandrophobia to make it seem inherently damaging and de-legitimize it's discussion.

[sapphiclizziebennet]

sometimes i wish i could view gender in a heteronormative way and only that because that would make it so much more simple. in a heteronormative society, i know for sure that i am not a woman and do not want to be seen as a woman. i don't connect with that at all. but outside of that? where anything is everything? am i a woman? i kind of hate the idea, i don't want to wear that label and man it would exhaust me being a woman all the time even outside of that, but there is still that blip in my mind that worries that i'm faking it. that i'm only this way because i'm just internally misogynistic, or hate what heteronormativity tells women they should be, or whatever.

i fucking hate the idea that you have to be trans only in one way. gender dysphoria does exist for me but i still question whether it's from inside or whether it's from outer sources, even though i was binding my chest as a young teenager and loving how i was perceived when i cosplayed men. there is still. that. voice. not because i'm not trans, but because heteronormativity and subsequently that lack of it is something my brain is trying so hard to hold onto like a tether but it just won't let go.

admittedly, i've been doomscrolling a lot of trans hate recently. been rooting around on r/detrans (which is not intrinsically trans hate but man a lot of former trans men detransition and become terfs), reading terf threads on twitter from teenagers who think being a radical feminist is edgy, the replies on jk rowling's posts, libs of tiktok, the list goes on and on. it's just really scary to be anything but the norm right now. i'm really scared. i think this gender thing goes down far deeper than i ever anticipated it to. i don't know how to ask people to sometimes use "he" pronouns for me, or what it means that i still wear dresses and supposedly act feminine to others when i do it (although via the aforementioned heteronormativity anything i do is feminine, even when i basically often see myself as a man in a dress of sorts. it's a masculine dress lmao). friends irl, newer ones who have only known me with they/them pronouns, still mess them up and god it does hurt every time. it cuts so deep.

i also was looking at some artists on twitter that i had to unfollow a while ago, both of whom recently came out as transmasc and still present rather femininely, they're dating and living the life i want. i want to be them and the jealousy boils in me like a fever i can't sweat out. i wish i was thin, so people would see me differently, i wish my voice was deeper, so people would see me differently, i wish i was beautiful or handsome or cool or coordinated or nice, so people would see me differently. all of those things. i am not handsome i am not pretty i am not anything and that still makes me question all of this. who would i be if i did not hate my body? i think i've done okay separating it from dysphoria, but i still question things.

my mother hates everything queer about me. when i try to say something about it she goes silent. the other day i referred to an old friend with their pronouns, they/them, and she said "oh, (name) is a they now?" and the conversation ended with "well that's one way to confuse people." and yeah, she'd never kick me out for being gay or trans, but i feel it. i know it. i am not the thing you made in your womb to you. i am something else entirely and i wish i could figure it out.

some people would say this turmoil is a sign that i'm not trans and that terrifies me to my core. but this is what being trans in a world that doesn't like it looks like. i only hate it because of what is being served to me. i love gender so much but god everything sucks in the world right now. i wish people would fucking believe me. i wish people who meant well didn't mess up my pronouns. i know they see me as a woman. i just know it. i hate it.

sorry i wrote this much i just have a lot of thoughts tonight. thanks if you read this far i guess

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

JK Rowling, transphobia and a hopefully helpful post.

A few days ago I posted on my Facebook (yes I have one sue me) debunking some of the things Rowling has been saying on twitter. Since she made a statement I felt the need to make another one... but this time Im sharing it here. Please note this is long, it is fairly opinionated in places but her statements have felt so insidious I want to share something in depth. If you are cis I implore you to read, but I understand this is long and a lot of people wont want to. No judgement. 

Jk Rowling’s latest statement is a mess of valid concerns and fear mongering. At this point there can be no claim she doesn’t know what shes talking about - she herself has said shes been researching this for years. She throws in token acknowledgements to “real” trans people while framing the rest of her statements as concern for confused teens.So first things first - and something that might not be popular with some of my trans friends. I agree that teenagers should not be able to medically transition. It is a choice that should be made when the brain is fully mature. Hormone blockers are something I trust - and that are reversible. I have seen enough detransitioned people hurting to feel like we do need to be careful - especially with children who are trying to find themselves. I dont know about other people but during my teens I was coming to the crushing realisation that I wasn’t special. I was learning that no matter how well I painted someone else did it better, no matter how badly I hurt someone had it worse - I was learning about the wonderful mediocrity of life, and having anything that made me stand out gave a brief reprieve from learning to be okay with all these things. For me to be fair it was dying my hair outrageous colours and dressing in black leather during 30 degree summer heat - but its still something we cant forget. I KNOW a lot of kids claiming to be trans are - and I dont want to keep that from them, however I dont want to cause harm to the kids that are wrong. Continuing on, I’d like to address her comments about TERFS. Terfs are Self Described Trans-exclusionary-radical-feminists and the term does get thrown around a little too liberally at times. Terf is not and never will be a slur. No more than “White” is. It is about a group of people who have taken it open themselves to segregate another group - and calling that what it is, is not a crime. The reason Terf and transphobe have become synonomic is because the ‘radical feminists’ that subscribe to this have lost focus on nearly all other issues of feminism and sit squarely on “dropping the T” from the lgbt community and “keeping men out of womens bathrooms.” Terfs are overwhelmingly women - this is sadly simply a fact. Terfs are reviled because of how much it feels like a betrayal to the community. A group that fights for rights - except ours. A group that wants equality - except for us. Its different to the conservatives who hate us all equally - with Terfs we are singled out. Terfs are not, as Rowling claims, inclusionary to Trans-men. I’ve been met with a combination of pity, loathing, mockery and revulsion by people within this group. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t let homophobia push me into transitioning - only for all correspondence to abruptly drop when I mention Im marrying another man. I’ve been told my old body was beautiful - only for stunned silence when I agree. I was beautiful - I was curvy, I was a dancer and had a body to match - but I wasn’t Me. When their usual arguments against me fail - I’m met with hate. Im called anti-woman, traitor, homophobic. I even have some such comments saved on my blog. I have yet to meet a Terf who was pro-trans-man. Rowling claims that had she had the ability, as a confused teen, she may have sought to transition. I hate to tell her but she did have the ability and trans people didn’t pop into existence in the twenty-first century. I’m actually looking to do my dissertation topic in my final year on lgbt presentation throughout history - and in my overeager way I’ve already started researching. James Barry has been becoming a common name for years - a transgender surgeon who died in 1865. If Barry was able to at least socially transition from 1790 to 1860, I am fairly sure Rowling could have in 1980 - over a century later. Rowling also claims that groups of friends in schools all suddenly identify as trans at the same time. Speaking from my school experience - the queer kids group together. We seek out others like us, and we take strength from each others bravery to come out - often around the same time. We almost get a rush of resolve when one of our group musters the courage and strength, and some of us use that rush to bite the bullet ourselves. Its one of the beautiful ways the lgbt community is here for one another - and the influx of people identifying as trans is partially a factor of more people knowing the name of their feelings. Survivor bias will ignore the trans people through history without the knowledge or means to transition - and will claim they were never trans at all. Her initial statements about charities worry me in particular. As I said last time - we know sex is real, we just dont really like to be defined by it. She is worried that we’re going to “rebrand medicine” and ignores that medications for years have had warnings in their leaflets about “If you are or become pregnant” regardless of if the person receiving it has a dick or a vagina. We dont advocate for ignoring the differences in how people respond to heart attacks - and I for one would like research to be done on how hormones effect that. I dont actually know if I would respond more like a cis gender woman or a cis gender man if I were to have a heart attack or a stroke. But where possible we do want to change the language around some of these things. I have had a double mastectomy, but some Cis-men have these as well. This is not a gendered term. Why should a period be called anything else? Why call it a “womens problem.” I and Im sure many other trans people, support the research into how different medical and mental issues affect different sexes. I just think that should be extended further - and we know it should, as some medical issues affect people of different ethnicities in different ways and we don’t know how. I am truly sorry that Rowling has experienced abuse and assault of any nature. I am truly sorry that she has felt unsafe. But her feelings do not invalidate others experiences. Of the trans people I know, a saddening number have been assaulted, have been abused and in particular have experienced these things domestically. There is much work to be done on this in the UK. There are nearly no mens shelters for sufferers of violence to my knowledge. I, a trans man who have experienced some of these things in my teen years, would Not want to be around cisgender women even if I could be. A cis woman was responsible for much of the pain I personally suffered - and in fact one of the acts of violence she carried out against me was directly after I came out as trans to her. Trans women, even if they could go to male shelters, should not have to be surrounded by a group that put them in danger - in a place that is detrimental to them physically and mentally and is frankly degrading. The belief that allowing trans women into shelters for those escaping abuse is dangerous is sad. To be so afraid is deserving of pity. To let fear blind you to the suffering of others - to think its better that a trans woman face homelessness or a return to an abusive household because you personally would sleep better at night is the kind of passive evil we should be aware of in this day and age. It comes from choosing to see the word “trans” before “person.” Its from choosing to see a persons genitals before their humanity. Trans people are not dangerous - and cause no greater risk than any other demographic.  Her claims that she can empathise with this fear are empty. A gender recognition certificate is not a ticket into womens bathrooms. Funnily enough you dont actually require a piece of paper to go almost anywhere. I do not have a gender recognition certificate and use male bathrooms, can enter male spaces as I please. All a gender recognition certificate does is change the letter on your birth certificate. It doesn’t even affect other forms of identification - my passport, my student id, my drivers license all already say male. I am not sure why so many people have chosen this as their hill to die on because its the least relevant thing to them on the planet. How often have any of you seen another persons birth certificate? Rowling says she and other ‘gender critical’ (a terf dogwhistle) people are concerned for trans youth. Well… she can take her condescending concern and direct it to matters that are relevant to her. Trans people want to be left alone. Its a simple request, and yet people endlessly seem to trip over the dirt level bar.