#Sometimes I look at certain screenshots and think ''yeah he looks handsome in this'' and other times he has an annoying and punchable face

[lowbeno]

I made a stupid short comic

Warning: Luke’s nacked ass is visible for comedic purposes

[lewis-winters]

Pls talk us through your Austen and BoB pairing choices because they sound incredible

Anon, whoever you are, I want to kiss you on the mouth.

Ok, so, I think you're talking about this post, yes? I know I said in the tags that I'd only elaborate with moodboards but, truly, the only moodboard I made was one for Emma!Winnix; certain screenshots c/o of @lupoteodoro):

and, idk, but something about Emma just hits me as a Winnix Jane Austen AU, yeah know? it's just so clear cut when I think about it. on one hand, Dick as your upright, never wrong, severely repressed, and hopelessly in love Mr. Knightley, who is so SO proper he's practically a walking etiquette manual, but manages to lose all basic composure when confronted with his best friend, who he cannot help but love and adore, despite being spoilt and selfish and apathetic at the worst times while also being probably the kindest, bravest man he knows at the best of times.

and Nix as Emma Woodhouse! handsome. charming. rich. and so SO bored with his life-- so SO lonely, rather, trapped under his father's thumb and pretending that it doesn't quite bother him. and so SO nosy but so SO loving, despite what he thinks, despite what he feels he's capable of. he loves people, wants them to be happy, and falls over himself just to make sure they get as much happiness as he could give them. his arrogance is his downfall, but his heart will always pull him to do what's right.

then later on, after everything, Dick stands before Lew under a great big tree, cradling his face in his hands, frantically wiping away tears with his thumbs while his own run down his face. "Lew," he croaks, trembling with fear and anticipation and an inability to keep it all in any more. He must say it, otherwise he just might explode. "I'm sorry--"

Lew shaking his head. Confused. "What--"

"I just. I'm so silent, and here you are, always so honest, with everything out on the table," Dick lets out a shaky exhale. "I cannot make speeches... Perhaps, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

... more under the cut because I rambled:

So. I know when people think Pride and Prejudice, their first idea would obviously be Webgott, and honestly I don't disagree. Web as a snobby, arrogant Mr Darcy who is actually just socially inept but so willing to change, so willing to break through his own apathy in order to meet Elizabeth!Joe's standards-- not to win him, or anything, but simply because he thinks Joe has some merit, despite looking down on him for his lack of wealth. And Joe as a fiesty Ms Elizabeth Bennet, who simultaneously loves and hates his family, who loathes this arrogant man, who never has a nice thing to say about Joe, who only ever insults him, only to turn around and proclaim to have been bewitched, body and soul, by Joe's supposed charm-- Joe likes to pretend nothing in him softens at the admission, and he does well at first. But the more he gets to know him, the more he can't seem to stay away.

Except, I also love the idea of Persuasion Webgott-- particularly with a focus on this post, a meta from Wentworth's POV of the novel. Where they're old lovers who were thwarted by Anne!Web's awful family, intervening because they think they know better, that Wentworth!Joe will lead Web to nothing but ruin. Except, Joe becomes a rather successful navy captain, while David rots in his family home, largely ignored and sometimes exploited, wasting away as regret and yearning eats at him from the inside.

When Joe comes back, he has every intention to rub it in David's face-- finally! after years of hurt and resentment, he can come back a wealthy man and watch the boy who broke his heart lead a miserable life while Joe himself gets everything he thinks he deserves.

Except he doesn't enjoy it. Because no matter how much he has stewed in his resentment, he can never actually wish Web any harm. He watches this once vibrant, laughing boy turn into a shy, miserable young man, who keeps his blue eyes trained on the floor, whose attempts at conversation get pushed aside. Nobody seems to realize that he's hilarious and utterly enlightening when he gets passionate enough, and that he can take a joke more gracefully than anybody gives him credit for, and that children adore him, because he's the only one willing to treat them like actual people. Nobody knows these sides to him-- nobody but Joe. And seeing them so forcibly smothered by the oppressive air of the Webster clan is far more painful than Joe thought it would ever be. How could people ignore him like that? treat him like he's dead? Why? Don't they know how funny he is? how kind? Joe wants to scream.

Meanwhile, David carries his cross with all the grace of a man beaten down by everything. He made a mistake-- he was young and in love and afraid and now, he's paying for it. But Joe looks so happy. He's moved on, and though it hurts, Web knows that he has nobody else to blame but himself, and so he moves through the world like a burden and nurses the regret in him like a leaden stone.

And while there's Persuasion!Webgott, I want there to be P&P!Speirton, particularly based of the 2005 movie-- do not come into my house and tell me Ron wouldn't be the most emotionally constipated and socially inept Darcy ever because he would be PERFECT and Lip. Oh wonderful Lip, who doesn't quite stand up for himself all the time, but who finds the way this man looks down on him grating at best, and downright offensive at worst. He's hissing and spitting at Ron the whole damn time while Ron is looking at him with stars in his eyes, utterly confused but loving every second of it.

And lastly, Northanger Abbey!Baberoe, with Cathy!Babe, his head perpetually in the clouds, his imagination a wild, wild thing, and Tilney!Eugene, who is this mysterious heir to this massive, southern gothic estate. Who has the looks of Byronic, brooding hero and is anything but. Who is kind and gentle and absolutely smitten by this bright-eyed, fiesty redhead who's stumbled into his world, head filled with stories. Babe is a breath of fresh air on the Roe estate, and Eugene, against his better judgement, is drawn to him all the more.

Except this time, Babe's stories have opened new doors for him, and perhaps, out of everyone in this genre confused tale, he is the only one who sees reality for what it is. And what he sees might not be anything Eugene would like.

... I just might create a moodboard for this one too, mostly because Southern Gothic is an aesthetic I adore and would love to put together an edit for HOWEVER I haven't managed to find the right pictures just yet. Also I want to read Northanger Abbey again. So this is a great excuse.

[commander-yinello]

Guardian (Jumin x Zen)

Happy Birthday @maniart1o9​!!! For you, I wrote some JuminZen with one of your favorite themes (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I hope you will enjoy it! Read more under the cut ♥♥ ~_^

Word Count: 1945 Warnings: Mild swearing, smoking, references to a car accident

Jumin knows he’s seen him.

Even upside down, with the airbag so closely pressed to his chest that he couldn’t move, his vision spinning, and the overwhelming scent of gasoline making him dizzy, he sees Zen outside the front window. And he’s glowing, so bright his eyes water. Then, as someone pulls him out of the car, he’s gone.

That’s not possible, assistant Kang insists next to the hospital bed he’s sitting in, both waiting for the doctor to come back. Zen was nowhere near C&R International, and she only just warned the RFA 5 seconds ago of the crash. He could not have possibly arrived here that fast.

Ah. The crash. The car crash. The one Jumin was in because Driver Kim had his day off, and Jumin saw no issue driving to the client himself. The one where Jumin had to swerve to dodge another car cutting off his lane, and caused his own car to topple over and crash against a tree.

She’s right, Jumin thinks, there’s no way Zen could have been at the crash. Most likely stress from the crash, a concussion, his panicked imagination going in overdrive.

Yet, not a minute later, the doctor tells him he doesn’t even have a bruise. As if he never was in a car accident. That should not be possible, the doctor says, and assistant Kang is equally confused. Jumin however, is not.

He is certain now, he’s seen Zen.

And he has a suspicion why.

~~~~

Jumin Han:

Do you sometimes find yourself in places you weren’t before when you travel?

ZEN: Dude it’s 1 AM why are you messaging me

Also wtf are you going on about

Are you high???

Jumin Han: You still replied.

ZEN: Go to sleep and leave me alone, asshole

~~~~

He’s always wondered what was up about Zen. He knows about albinos, they often took great care of themselves when going outside, and sometimes had other health issues. Not Zen, who is so handsome, not that Jumin would admit it out loud. Who is so fit, he jogged daily. Who has no problem taking selfies in broad daylight with no sunscreen or sunglasses in sight. It had been only after Jumin made the last comment, a year ago, that Zen suddenly mentioned jogging at night, or an extensive skincare routine.

Back then, he stopped caring very quickly. It wasn’t any of his business, of course, what the narcissistic man did.

Now he cares again. He remembers how Zen had gotten into an accident, and V told him in full detail how Zen had healed insanely fast.

A handsome albino with super fast healing skills. How very strange, he tells Elizabeth, and she meows in agreement. He pets her while leaning an elbow on his mahogany desk, laptop showing a website of occult creatures.

Maybe he is a vampire. The ones in that one teenage movie sparkle. Which is not a glow, his brain reminds him. Plus the whole sun thing would still be an issue.

He entertains the sexy albino vampire idea a bit too long, before he realizes and cuts his thoughts off on purpose.

Maybe he is too paranoid. Maybe Zen is human. Zen’s allergy for cats seems real, at least. Even though Zen is an actor, Jumin thinks, he hides his emotions poorly.

And then Zen mentions that, sometimes, he has prophetic dreams.

Strange. Very, very strange.

Too many things don't add up for Zen to be human. And Jumin wants to know who he truly is - very much so.

~~~~

Jumin Han: Do you often glow?

ZEN: Of course I do, my beauty is radiant Blessed by the Gods themselves

Jumin Han: Gods. Interesting. Tell me all about them.

ZEN: What? What do you mean? You’re creeping me out Also why are you messaging me again what the hell

Jumin Han: You always reply to me.

ZEN: No I don’t, stupid jerk

Jumin Han: And yet you did it again.

ZEN: Argh! I can’t with you! Screw you!

~~~~ 

Zen is calling him a weirdo in the chat again. Jerk. Freak. The words have never mattered to him, but now Jumin wonders if it’s a smokescreen. He’s paid very close attention to all of the chatrooms with Zen in it, to the point it felt like stalking. It’s interesting how often Zen brings him up as a topic, even when it’s completely unnecessary.

He starts to understand why Luciel thinks Zen is obsessed with him. Perhaps because there is more than Zen shows.

But Zen denies everything he asks. He denies whatever screenshots Jumin sends him. He insults and denies and rants, and Jumin doesn't get any closer to the truth. At some point, Zen mentions that his behavior is akin to his older brother, but it comes over as an excuse to make Jumin shut up.

To the outside world, it seems that Zen truly despises him. Jumin is just not convinced.

There’s only a few things Jumin knows for sure. Zen was there when he crashed. And it had to be connected to the fact that Jumin came out of the crash completely unharmed. That’s it.

It drives him mad that he is denied more knowledge.

So he makes a decision. He tells assistant Kang to watch over Elizabeth. Heads down to the garage. Opens the car door. Takes a deep breath and wonders if he’s gone insane.

He gets behind the wheel again.

~~~~ Yoosung☆: Hi Zen!!

Jaehee Kang: Hello Zen, good to see you!

ZEN: Hey guys Where’s Jerkmin?

707: Lololol why do you ask~ Could it be.... You miss him??! (~˘▾˘)~

ZEN: What?! Of course not Why would you say that I’m glad he’s not around to spoil the mood! I just find it suspicious he’s not here

Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han said he had something important to do Now I have c-fur on my suit again T_T

Yoosung☆: Poor Jaehee, hopefully you’ll be free soon - Zen has left the chatroom -

Yoosung☆: Ehhhh????

707: Zen suddenly leaving? Now that’s suspicious ರ_ರ

Jaehee Kang: I hope nothing happened to him. ~~~~

Jumin never crashes. The moment he turns on the engine, Zen is there, in front of the car lights, scaring the hell out of him. In a split second, the lamps in the garage flicker, and Jumin swears he sees a faint glowing outline of feathers behind Zen. 

Zen is wearing his trademark turtleneck and holds a cigarette in his hand. He takes a drag and blows out the smoke, looking bored, as if he had been waiting.

“You're such a jerk, you know that?” Zen’s voice echoes in the large garage. They are alone. He hears nothing in the background, as if time stands still.

Jumin is too stunned to reply. Zen sighs, and walks to the side of the car, opens the door and takes his place in the passenger seat. He grabs the key from Jumin’s fingers and turns the engine off. The smell of tobacco and cologne fill Jumin’s nose, yet he doesn’t find the will to tell Zen not to smoke in his car.

“If me sitting here will stop you from killing yourself, then so be it,” Zen says, and takes another drag after closing the door.

Jumin realizes his hands still grip the wheel, and he slowly lowers them to his lap.

“What… what are you?” he asks.

“I can’t answer that. You already know way too much because I fucked up. Don't worry, nothing will happen to you,” Zen replies, and the smoke surrounding him makes him look more human.

“And to you?”

Zen looks out the open window instead. “It’s fine,” he finally replies.

That isn’t what he wants to hear. But if nothing would happen to him, then possibly Zen’s punishment wouldn’t be too severe.

Zen’s words do confirm other things - there is some higher power at work keeping Zen in check. And Zen did protect him, he’s sure of it now, from dying. So much so that Zen is in trouble for it.

“You protected me… too much. I should have had some damage,” Jumin says, inadvertently licking his lips. He’s nervous, because the bratty vain actor had been the one standing between life and death for him.

Zen runs a hand through his hair. Maybe Jumin is projecting, but he feels Zen is nervous too.

"I know that, trust fund. I just… couldn’t deal with… that." Zen waves his cigarette-free hand at the air in front of them, trying to stay as cryptic as possible.

He cares too much, Jumin instantly realizes. He watches Zen cross his legs - a defensive stance, Jumin notes - and wonders how much Zen has said in the chatroom is real.

“For someone like you, you aren’t exactly good at keeping it a secret.”

Zen chuckles. “You’d be surprised how much people accept. In fact, the stranger you seem, the less likely they suspect.”

Jumin hates to admit that it made sense. “Are you always fighting me because you have to distance yourself from me on purpose?”

“I can't answer that.”

Can't or shouldn't? Either way, Jumin is content with the answer. Yet, he can’t stop asking questions.

“Does everyone have… someone like you?”

“Not me specifically.”

Jumin makes a mental note to check all sun-loving albinos in the country. “Do you know who else is like you?”

Zen shook his head. “I know there are others. No idea who.”

“Sounds… lonely.”

“...It is.”

Jumin knows all about loneliness. He imagines Elizabeth on his lap, and sees the photo of V, Rika and him on his desk, and hears his father’s voicemail on his phone. So many days he’s convinced only Elizabeth would be there to catch him, when he comes home tired from work and falls down the abyss in his mind. Awful, lonely thoughts.

He wants to ask more. Menial questions like is Zen truly allergic, or deeper ones asking about the forces unknown. Jumin decides that he doesn’t want to push it.

“So… what now?”

“You,” Zen points at Jumin’s chest, “Will stop trying to drive, you menace. I actually like it here, so don’t make it worse.”

Jumin grins. “You like it here? Even with me?”

“Yeah, I know, must suck being guarded by someone you hate.” Zen rolls his eyes.

“I never hated you.”

Zen whips his head towards Jumin, eyes wide. 

“Never. Not even when you tried your worst. And now, knowing it is you watching over me… It is a blessing. Thank you, Zen.”

He means it. There is a happy light feeling in his chest, knowing there’s a very logical reason for Zen to act so irrationally towards him. And he knows that he’ll have to act irrational back in order to keep up the facade, so Zen can stay.

He wants Zen to stay.

Zen blushes, and tries to hide it poorly by looking out of the window again. Jumin can’t help but find it endearing. “When you say things like that, people will think you’ve gone crazy.”

Jumin smirks. He doesn’t care what people think of him. Wasn’t there still that rumor of him floating around?

Zen flicks his cigarette stub away and sighs. “Well, I need to go. Take care.”

“Should I, when I have you?” Jumin sasses. It’s too close to flirting to be misconstrued otherwise.

“Wh- N- Whatever, just don’t drive!” he yells. His cheeks are redder, and Jumin notices before the car is filled with a bright light.

Once again, Zen is gone. A very typically Zen to do. Jumin smiles, and sits in the car for a while.

He still has no good excuse when Assistant Kang finally finds him there.

[mousehole5000]

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

[tiemeupspidey]

FaceTime Call

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You Facetime Tom after finding out from fans he cut his hair. Your phone was off while you were landing home from a flight.

Warnings: SWEARING LIKE ALWAYS :)

Word Count: 1,700+

A/N: 400 more till 3k!! I love you all so much :)

I turn 21 in 2 months c: Which means I can buy alcohol, meaning I CAN WRITE FREQUENT SMUT IF YOU GUYS WOULD LIKE CAUSE I LOVE SMUT

[Reader’s POV]

“So how was your trip?” Your mom asks happily through the phone. Reaching for your bag out of the carrier you tell her to hold on. Sometimes she calls you at the worst times. She onetime called you while Tom and you were having sex and wouldn’t stop calling till you picked up. Your mother was relentless sometimes.

“It went well mom, I’m just back to be in London” admitting the truth with a smile on your face. You loved it here because you got to live with the love of your life.

“How’s Tom doing? Anything new since Spider-Man Homecoming?” she absolutely adored Tom, she claims he’s the best you’ve had out of the guys you’ve dated.

“Yes he’’s actually working on another film, he’s been gone for two weeks while I was away as well so we’re both out and about” you explain as you walk down the plane aisle. You could hear her talking to your dad about Tom. Mentally wondering why she just doesn’t put you on speaker so he can hear too.

“Hey I’m going to go so I can focus okay? Plus Nikki is picking me up from the airport with Tessa”  Saying your goodbyes you hang up your phone. Slipping your phone into your purse you make your way out of the gate. The sound of your suitcase clicking against the bumps in the carpet.

   Walking past people to head towards the baggage claim. Looking at the time on your Apple Watch you walk a little faster. Nikki said she would be here at a certain time and you didn’t like making people wait. Turning the corner you go down the escalator descending to the baggage claim.

    Hearing a bark makes you search the crowd of people. A little grey blob pushes people out of the way. Nikki’s red hair standing out as she took off after Tessa. Opening your arms you get tackled by your favorite dog in the world. Her tongue laps at your face making you giggle.

“Tessa my love, I missed you so much” her body wiggling in your arms as you tried calming her down. People were looking at the interaction the two of you were having. Grabbing her leash you stand back up.

   Nikki opens her arms to you which you gladly take her hug. She gives the best hugs in the damn world. Letting you go she kisses both of your cheeks , she’s like a second mom. Tugging your free hand she pulls you along. She took your extra suitcase even though you tried to take it but she insisted. Leaving thankfully no one was outside, if Tom was with you it would have been a lot worse. He draws big crowds full of his loving fans.

“c’mon Tessa lets get in the car”  opening the door for her she jumps inside. Taking your backpack and purse off you set them on the floor of the car. You hear clicking sounds and turn around to see people with cameras.

    Getting in the car you close the door annoyed with the cameras. You don’t know how Tom does it all the time, it’s got to be truly exhausting having your every move watched. Even his family has to deal with it. Nikki tells you to ignore them and starts the car pulling out of the parking spot. Tessa jumps back onto the seat and lays down next to you.

   Smiling down at her you place your hand on her head. Your thumb stroking her head slowly to her ears and repeating it. Watching as her eyes closed from your touch. God you love her so much, probably more than Tom.

   Taking your phone out you see notifications pop up. Clicking on them you see Tom’s tweet and your heart stops. Going to his Instagram you see he hasn’t posted anything. Clicking on his tagged photos you see his fans posts. Scrolling through they’re all freaking about his Bye Bye Hair tweet.

   Exiting the Instagram app you open your messages and clicking on Tom’s name. Looking at the messages waiting for some sort of explanation. Typing and retyping the message you want to send. Normally he keeps you updated but he hasn’t said a damn thing. When he does that you start to feel like a fan yourself and freak out.

You:

So what’s with the tweet, care to spill the secret like you do with every Marvel secret?

    Locking your phone you know it’d be a while to get a message back if he was on set. The ride home was filled with conversation about your trip. The two of you talked as Tessa slept peacefully. Nikki told you stories about the boys and how mischievous they’ve been. She says Paddy has been getting into the sweets more and has grown a sweet tooth recently.

   Checking your phone you see there’s still no text back. You ask Nikki and she explains she has no clue. Apparently Tom hasn’t even told her which she thought was odd. You knew it was very odd because he’s such a momma’s boy.

   Nikki drops you off at Toms and helps you with your stuff. After you and Tessa are all settled she tells you to come over for dinner. Apparently Harry has been working on something and wants the family to see. He knew you were coming back into town so he told Nikki to tell you since you’re practically family.

   Hugging Nikki goodbye you shut the door behind her as she leaves. Picking your phone off the table you see notifications again. Some were from Harrison and your friends messaging you. The messages consisted of screenshots asking why Tom was cutting his hair.  Your thoughts get interrupted by your ringtone you made for Tom. It was him saying quackson.

Meme King:

C’mon angel don’t be like that, let me give you a call xx

   Rolling your eyes you connect your phone to the charger. Your phone starts ringing flashing ‘Meme King wants to FaceTime.’ Clicking the answer you see Tom relaxing with a hood on his head. Normally his curls peep out which make you narrow your eyes trying to see his curls. His smile distracting as he cheers happily to see your face.

“Ah there’s my beautiful girl, I’ve missed you darling” his voice making your heart ache, you miss him so much.

“Hey baby, I’ve missed you more..” you pout looking at him snuggle deeper into the couch. You could hear Harrison in the background talking. Tessa’s tags jingle as she jumps onto the L shaped couch.

“There’s my little one! I love you Tessa soooo much” Tom cooed into the screen making a kiss face.

“Tom so are you going to tell me what that tweet was about?” You ask turning the screen back to you. The seriousness in your face made his smile fall.

“I uh.. well I can’t keep it a secret from you anymore” He pulls the hood revealing his hair of cur.. there are no curls. Just short hair that he fixed with his hand. Your jaw dropping at the sight because last night you talked to him and all the curls were there.

“Christ, you don’t like it do you” Tom sits up fixing the angle he had the screen at. You were in shock because you haven’t seen Tom with short hair, the only pictures you’ve seen are from when he was little. Nikki likes to show you pictures from her archive whenever you see her.

“N-No baby, I’m just thrown off is all.. you look very handsome I’m just going to miss the curls” you give him a smile as you see his features relax. Did he really care that much about what you thought of his hair?

“I know how you like gripping onto them when I go down on you” he sighs tilting his head back. Your cheeks tinting pink from what he just said.

“Oi! I’m right here and you’re going to talk to her in front of me like that man? you two are like rabbits” Harrison’s voice fills your ears making you face palm yourself. God dammit Thomas.

“It’s the truth so now she has to wait for them to grow back” Tom defends himself laughing at his best friend. Harrison pops up behind Tom flipping you and him off.

“Awww Hazeroonie don’t be mad you don’t have a sex life” you tease sticking your tongue out. Harrison lets out a small scream taking off out of the frame.

“Okay yeah I’m definitely going to miss your curls now” you sigh thinking of the last time you two were alone together. Your thighs clamping together tightly at the thought.

“I’ll be home when I can love, I’ll FaceTime you every night till were together.. then when I’m home you can give me some personal FaceTime” his smirk making your heart rate pick up again.

“PLEASE GET A ROOM THOMAS” Tom’s head is then hit with a pillow causing him to drop his phone. In the background you hear the two getting into a little fist fight. Knowing them they’re going to sound like children any second with their banter.

“cut it out you twat I’m talking to my girl right now” Tom huffs after a slap sounds echoes through the air. The phone is kicked around making the room look like it’s spinning.

“Ow don’t pull my hair!” Harrison whines followed by a thud. Laughter filling the air making you sigh. These two were actual children.

   Tom picks up his phone that fell from before. Harrison says he’s going to the store leaving the two of you alone. The two of you talk about how long it will be till you see each other again. It was hard while he’s away but you really enjoyed these FaceTime calls. It was the only time you’d see him when he wasn’t busy and it made the wait worth it.

@martymarmine13  @pleasantdreamqueen  @wolfkingsqueen  @multifics  @haileyyy0604  @thelifeofanengineeringstudent  @haileyyy0604  @goldenchemistry  @curly-haired-crisp  @kaylaleslie1120 @mossyfeet @glittermysoulhidesbehind  @kaylaleslie1120  @bxndsaf @krystalsawallflowerr @everything-tholland @crimson-vodka @boringrayofsunshine

@bruhjustdont

[reddiess]

[stan_the_man messaged you]

For the anon who wrote:  "stenbrough social media/college au where person A is an instagram model and person B is a fan who has a friend that forces them to follow and comment, and !! person A notices him!!!!" i’m so sorry something was wrong with the connection so i either didn’t post it or deleted it but shoot me a message if you liked it op! you can also find this on my AO3 Requests are open, shoot me a prompt for a fic or headcanon!! Summary:  Stanley Uris has an undying crush on Instagram model Bill Denbrough. Which is fine, until Richie Tozier goes and messages him. * The moment Stanley Uris spots his best friend with his phone in his hand, suspiciously only tapping once on the screen and with purpose, is the moment he knows Richie Tozier is fucking dead. "Richie," he draws the word out as if to question his friend's entire existence. "What are you doing with my phone?" The traitor looks up and has the audacity to smile innocently, like he doesn't know what Stanley is talking about. "Um... Nothing?" "Nothing my ass," Stan murmurs under his breath before sizing the situation up and jumping into action. He throws himself over the back of their leather couch but Richie is already out of the living room, wheezing as he bolts towards the kitchen door. Stan stops and crosses his arms in front of his torso, waiting for the inevitable— CRASH! He watches with perverse satisfaction as his flatmate trips over the ironing board standing in the entrance to the kitchen, toppling to the floor. "There's something in the way," he deadpans. "Watch out."

"Fucking bitch." Richie pushes himself up. Somehow, there's still an unnerving grin splitting his frog face in two. "I still messaged him though."

Stanley's eye twitches. "Who exactly, again?" He stomps over to the monster he calls his best friend and rips his phone out of his hand. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

*

DING!

stan_the_man followed you

DING!

stan_the_man mentioned you in a comment: @billyboy boi fuk me up u fiiiiiiine

Bill Denbrough's eyebrows draw together in confusion, his stare almost piercing holes into the touchscreen of his phone; what kind of language...?

DING!

stan_the_man messaged you: dam boi are u a pair of ray bans bc ud look great sitting on my face ;);););)

The line is so out of the blue and bizarre that Bill actually bursts out laughing. He sits up and quickly screenshots the ridiculous message to send to the groupchat with his closest friends.

Out of pure curiosity he clicks on stan_the_man's profile and is surprised to find that the guy looks fairly normal – handsome, even – and not at all creepy like he would've expected. There's also no trace of the attitude or the, um, grammar he used in his direct message to Bill. He actually just looks like a regular guy who's nice and hot and therefore way out of Bill's league.

He goes back to the direct message to type in a reply but changes his mind pretty quickly. Should he even address something as childish and weird as this message? Should he even...

DING!

He almost drops his phone in surprise.

stan_the_man: Oh God, sorry. That was my roommate, this is so embarrassing. He thinks he's funny.

No emojis, no pickup lines. But at least the guy has good grammar. That's more than what he normally sees on Instagram these days.

*

Stan tries to forget all about the most embarrassing event of his life, also known as the time Richie dm'd his Instagram crush with a godawful fuckboy one-liner. He doesn't unfollow Bill Denbrough though because why would he?

He does still spend a good majority of his free time stalking the guy's profile. What can he do when Bill is literally perfect with all his black and white photoshoots and colorful model shots in European countries and mirror selfies with his dog? What is Stan supposed to do, ignore it? Yeah well, not today - and not only because he's a photography major and the shots make his heart weep but also because Bill is ridiculously perfect.

So here's the brief story of how he found the guy: He was exhausted after a long day of work and was in search of a movie stupid enough for his mushy brain to absorb. In this state of mind, a person's brain capacity is not exactly at its full potential, and so that's his excuse for clicking on a Buzzfeed article titled "21 Hottest Male Models We Shamelessly Follow On Instagram". Go figure.

All of them were hot, of course. But Bill Denbrough was... something else. All Stanley could think about was photographing him. Most of the models were these muscly, handsome machos with chiseled jawlines and messy hair - your typical, well, douchebag look. None of them were Stan's type by far, so he was ready to close the article but then he saw number 21, Bill Denbrough aka @billyboy. Bill was... stunning, to say the least. For starters, he didn't have any facial hair, one point for him. He was not buff, more of a tall and lean type, another point. Not the average face that's considered universally attractive but more of a unique charm and he seemed to have a dog; more points. His bio said:

Bill Denbrough 23yr old model based in New York, loves dogs, books, nature and tv shows. Advocate for LGBTQ+ and homeless youth. For business inquiries, please contact...

His pictures all matched with his bio, Stan realized as he scrolled through his profile. He really was a dog and nature lover, liked to read and was actively helping the LGBT and homeless youth - infinite points and there went Stanley Uris' heart.

So that was then. Now is now, and now... Stan is getting a message from him.

What!?

Stan clears his cache, force stops and restarts the Instagram app and cold boots his phone but it's still there:

billyboy: Haha, no problem man. I know a lot about annoying roommates. I like your work btw!

What. The. Fuck. He doesn't know if he should smack Richie or kiss him.

stan_the_man: Wow, thank you! I'm a photography & imaging major so they're mostly my assignments, but some of them are just for fun. Are you still studying?

Lame, but kind of okay. Acknowledged Bill's compliment, gave a bit of insight related to the topic, asked to show he's also interested in having a conversation. That's normal, right? He waits a couple of minutes before sending it just so he doesn't seem desperate but gets a reply almost instantly.

billyboy: Yeah, I'm studying creative writing, it's my last year though. Can't wait to be out of uni tbh.

stan_the_man: same, I'd sell my soul at this point for it to be over

Bill laughs, or at least sends a laughing emoji so Stan guesses he does. That's how he starts talking to his Instagram crush.

*

It doesn't help much with his crush, talking to Bill. If anything, it makes him like the guy even more, which in turn just makes his heart hurt when he thinks about how he doesn't have a chance. Sometimes he has a flicker of hope, like when Bill says something especially flirty or compliments his new picture. He doesn't post many selfies but the one he does Bill ends up commenting on ("What a handsome curly man #crying") and Stanley ends up gaining 300 followers overnight.

And his infatuation with the model just keeps growing and growing. He's certain Bill is not perfect, he can't be but what can a man do when it sure seems like he is? Stan has no chance. So he does the stupidest thing he can do and invites him out for coffee. As soon as he sends the message he throws his phone across the room, the childhood habit of biting his fingernails making a short but threatening return. Get your act together, Stanley thinks. He's just a guy.

He's Bill Denbrough, he's not just some guy! His mind helpfully supplies.

You're arguing with yourself again. Stop it.

I do whatever I w--

DING!

That has to be Bill. It has to be. Stan carefully rounds his bed and reaches for his phone, pushing the home button so he sees his lockscreen. The preview of Bill's message starts with Sure! When are you... and then it's cut off.

Stanley looks around to see if Richie is in hearing distance, and when he finds he's in the clear, he does a dance of celebration.

He really should give a present of gratitude to Richie now.

*

It goes well. Coffee, that is. They hit it off right away because as normal as Bill comes through in his messages, his humour actually aligns with Stan's in that dry, passive aggressive, death loving kind of way. Which is fine. Amazing.

What's not amazing however, is how perfect he actually is. Stan sees his clear skin and perfect hair and amazing body proportions and red lips every day on Instagram but it has nothing on the real thing. There's just no way any camera could ever capture the charisma the guy has.

(Stanley is going to try though. Even if Bill wouldn't have agreed to it, he would somehow bribe him into modeling for his portfolio. He did agree though, and without any extra convincing too so Stan is going to make the most of that promise.)

It turns out that Bill's favorite tv show is Supernatural, bless his soul, but his favorite movie is Edward Scissorhands, which Stan also loves. They also realize they go to the same university and actually took a course together last semester – some bullshit class where attendance wasn't mandatory – except Stan never realized it. Bill traveled a lot last year due to his modeling career and Stan literally never was there so there was little to no chance of them meeting; which is nice because he would have had an aneurysm on the spot.

When he gets home that afternoon Richie is already sitting in the armchair in their living room with crossed legs.

"I see you've had a fun day," he waves his phone at Stanley, who has to squint to see that Bill has uploaded the selfie they took together to his Instagram.

"None of your business," Stan replies and automatically turns to leave. Well, he would if Richie Tozier didn't jump on his back the next second and really, how is he that fast?

"Tell me EVERYTHING Stan the man, don't you even think about sparing me any juicy details!" Richie booms in his ear before he manages to shake him off enough that only his arms remain locked around Stan's neck. "Come oooon, I hooked you guys up!"

"What the fuck do you mean you hooked us-" DING! "Excuse me, I have to go." He unceremoniously bites Richie in the forearm until he has no chance to let go with a yelp.

"At least tell me later!" his best friend shouts after him but he's already halfway to his room. He plops down onto the light blue bedsheets he changed just yesterday, and the faint smell of the detergent kind of reminds him of how Bill smelled when they half-hugged while saying goodbye.

billyboy: Thank you for the coffee today! I actually have a confession to make.

billyboy: Tell me if I got the wrong message or anything but I had a very hard time not kissing you after we met. I just thought it would be fair to tell you.

Stan turns so his face mushes into the pillow and screams.

*

("When were you going to tell me this?!" Richie shouts, pushing his phone screen into Stan's face. "HUH?"

It's a picture Bill took on campus of them kissing - he uploaded it onto his Instagram story which in turn spiked hundreds of fans to raid Stanley's DM's – mostly with positivity – and Richie to, apparently, have a mental breakdown.

"Just die," Stan replies, pushing the oversized phone out of his face, but he is smiling. "I was going to tell you later, maybe when we're not in the library? You're making a lot of noise."

He's pretty sure he can see Richie's face turn purple with how much he's trying not to scream.

He is going to buy him a present, don't worry. But for now, he has to work on his assignment so he can go meet his boyfriend.)

[jjeehoon]

wanna one as your fanboys

requested by my fav woojin stan anon lol

have a gif of your man btw lol

a reverse au where instead of them being your idols, you’re being their idols. 

a/n: i did some editing on minhyun’s bc this man ain’t quiet,,, he’s literally the loudest out of nu’est smh  

jisung:

MEMES. Jisung would be the one fan who’d be turning you into a living meme. Even if you already were a living meme, he’d make you into an even funnier one. Plenty of screenshots of your cute derp faces would be sent to his friends often as reactions, due to the fact that he couldn’t react to their messages in real life. Sometimes, if he were ever feeling especially hilarious, he’d message you on Instagram with a meme he made of you captioned, “notice me unnie/oppa, please!” You’d view his profile when you were looking through your incredibly filled DMs, and you’d laugh loudly at the sight of his clearly male feed. If he met you in real life, he’d spend his time making you laugh with puns and funny faces the entire time, since it was short lived and he wanted to do anything to make it last. 

sungwoon:

Sungwoon admired you so, s o much, and no one could blame him, because he believed you were perfect. You were the juniors of his buddies, Kai and Taemin, and at one point, he was jealous that they were under the same company as you were. “So, like, when is your CEO gonna let me into the building to let me see (y/n) - I mean, your group members?” He’d ask them every once in a while. Sungwoon would also be singing along to your parts in your latest hit single while he was with his group of friends as if it weren’t obvious enough that he liked you. Once they finally obliged to him meeting you, his ears would heat up once he saw you, like they typically did when he was embarrassed. You would probably also hear some small voice cracks every now and then while talking to him, but probably because he was tired and flustered, which didn’t exactly click in his agenda. Oh well - you called him adorably handsome, and that’s all that matters.

minhyun:

There were two sides to his fanboy, the fanboy where he’d be smiling to himself when he hears your name on the streets or something, and the fanboy where he’s jumping around the house and happily screaming your new song. Neighbours of his wouldn’t be surprised when they hear his loud voice on the other side of the wall. Minhyun also seems like someone who enjoys making covers of your songs. He was pleased to think that your songs, your angelic voice matched with his light and thin tone extremely well. People who followed him were also your fans and they enjoyed his covers when he occasionally posted them, but the most important thing here is that they literally begged Minhyun to do a (y/n) selca day thing because they thought the two of you looked great together. After crying to himself, ranting to Dongho about it (”they’re like me to you, bro, they aren’t gonna let me live”), and disagreeing with his followers for the longest time, he would post it. And, not gonna be lying here, they were right - the amount of visual in that relationship would be incredible.

seongwoo:

Similarly to Jisung, he’d express his love through memes and other funny things. He’d probably be the type who has a spam account on Instagram where he posts crack videos that he made of you and photos of you making hearts captioned, “have I ever mentioned how much I f u c k i n g love (y/n) because I LOVE (Y/N) SO MUCH”. Probably also in the comments section of your music videos with the most original comments, including jokes and gags without forgetting to mention how great you looked and how wonderful you sounded. Seongwoo would never hesitate to start jamming out to your songs if they ever came on in public, hitting some of the dance moves smoothly while shopping for clothes. He’d draw some attention to the other shoppers, and he’d be hoping the slightest bit that you were there watching him dance as well.

jaehwan:

I don’t know why (lol), but Jaehwan seems like a proud member of stan twitter. Sometimes, he’d be really soft and post acoustic covers of your songs which would cause an uproar in the fandom. He’d smirk once he saw the amount of reposts there were on Twitter itself, as well as seeing his covers on Instagram and Tumblr. Other times, he’d be shitposting just as much as Seongwoo would be. Heck, Jaehwan and Seongwoo would probably be partners in crime, making the dankest memes possible and making other users vote for which meme is better. Jaehwan’s probably also the type to ship himself with you, saying things like, “look at that. Just look at it, Ong, (y/n) and I would be the ultimate visual couple. Ultimate visual, vocal, flute playing couple. No, shut up, I don’t care if (y/n) plays the clarinet. Our children would inherit our talent and beauty and they’d be fucking legends just like (y/n) was.” 

daniel:

As we all know, Daniel loves dancing to Signal, so he loves dancing to your songs as well. Like his husband #ongnielisscience Seongwoo, hearing any of your big hits in public means a celebratory dancing spree, no matter what he was doing at the time. At the vet for his cats? He’d be doing the hand movements in the waiting room. Just woke up from a coma? Playing your music gets him back into daily routine immediately. Preparing dinner with his family? He’d be shuffling down the counter to the upbeat melody. Asides from that, he would seems like the type of person to think about your ideal type every once in a while - he thought about how he would make a good boyfriend to you. Of course, he was smart enough to keep his daydreaming to himself; that is, until he meets you in person and just falls for you even harder.

jihoon:

I can honestly imagine Jihoon being your classmate while you’re an idol. He’d admire you from afar while you were with your close friends, he would feel jealous once someone else came over to talk to you about your popularity. He looked up to you greatly and quietly listened to your music both in his free time and, often times, during class. If he was feeling rather ambitious that day, he’d casually start talking to you about your music and your group members if the solo game wasn’t the the thing for you. “Ah, yeah, you know your friend, (group member name i literally can’t think of a name on the spot)?” He’d ask while trying his hardest not to freak out over the fact that he was talking to a celebrity, his idol, to be much more specific. “Yeah. What, do you like them? Wanna meet them someday?” You replied jokingly. He chortled at your statement, mainly because they weren’t the one he liked, but you were.

woojin:

Super big throwback to his cover of BoA’s Only One, there would be low quality footage of Woojin dancing to your song jokingly. Once that circulated around, he’d be an embarrassed mess thinking about how you could’ve been watching the video at that moment. Spoiler alert: you were, and you thought it was absolutely adorable. You even reposted it with the caption “thank you, my fans, for such great content” or some shit and Woojin would be bawling his eyes out like, “I’ve won, but at what cost?” (uh jokes aside,,,) He would upload a proper dance cover and blow literally everyone away, including you. His smooth dancing and his ability to hit every move with precision made you question yourself on your dancing skills. (ok but i’m sure you’d be a great dancer <33) When you reposted that cover of his, he would bawl again, but this time, he shed some happy tears instead. 

jinyoung:

From the looks of his Kyulkyung fanboy days, Jinyoung seems like someone who’d defend their idols to a certain extent. If he encounters a troll among your Instagram feed, he’d definitely call them out with a bit of insult, and it’d be brought to your attention. He probably also runs a fan account where he posts photos of you and captions them with cheesy love quotes; not to the point where it’s Seongwoo or Jaehwan-level shit posting, but a regular fanpage that posts fan taken photos as well as performances on music shows and, sometimes, fancams. He’d be thrilled to hear that you and/or your group were coming to his town, but once someone brought it up, he’d act all shy and deny any notions of wanting to meet you. However, on his breaks, he’d go and see you in person, his heart beating quickly when he saw you - all while being the shy boy he was. 

also, you’d probably be like, “aw, your head is so smoL I’M CRYIN” and he’d fall over tbh

daehwi:

Daehwi would be the type of fan who would have a fanpage for you, much like his best friend Jinyoung. He’d be the main source of all the girlfriend/boyfriend!(y/n) aus because he honestly thinks that those are the absolute cutest, and he’d make them just as fluffy as possible while trying his best to be accurate at the same time. If you were in a group, he would make compilations of basically anything you were known for, whether it be your evil maknae schemes or your lovely singing parts. If he ever went to a fan sign, he’d be a smiling the mess the whole time once it was his turn to meet you. “Ah, I was so excited to meet you,” he would tell you, his natural overflowing aegyo making you feel all bubbly inside as you have a nice casual conversation with him. You probably ended your meeting with a hug from him as you told him, “come to our next fanmeet,” and he probably melted into a pile of gush inside. 

guanlin:

Guanlin would be the quiet yet ambitious fan of yours. Much like Minhyun, he wouldn’t shove his love for you in everyone’s faces, but he’d be much more obvious with those close to him. “(y/n)’s really soft in this performance? Jihoon hyung, look at how wonderful (y/n)’s rapping is. Seonho, look, (y/n)’s just as cute as you are.” Every once in a while, he’d go and binge watch your funny videos, giving himself a huge laugh (which may or may not scare his hyungs). Just like any other of his idols, Guanlin looks up to you greatly. You inspired him to do better at his own talents, and if you were to ever find out about this, you’d be amazed on how fast his improvement rate was. Needless to say, he had a little celebrity crush on you for a lot of reasons, from your lovely personality to your fans to your charismatic presence on stage. 

peep euiwoong - i mean

hit my inbox up y’all!! and here is my masterlist!! + sorry if this was a bit shitty lol

[aishidee]

something good happened today so decided to make a post about it

idk if anyone will read this lol but I feel uncomfortable posting this on my facebook and it’s too long for twitter so yeah tumblr is my safest bet. omg I have sooo much to tell but let’s start with something about myself or rather, something I did this past semester.

I used to cut. Self harm. With a box cutter.

I don’t want to get into details on why I started it. Let’s just say all these feelings inside of me just ballooned up in my head all at once. Feeling of incompetence. Not good enough for my chosen course. Wondering if this is what I really want in life and knowing that it’s too late to back out now. Regrets I had. 

I was taking calculus 1 this sem and all my classmates already got the lesson while I’m still having a hard time grasping it. I’m not really talented in math. I hate math omfg. that time, in class, it made me feel like the world around me is already moving and I’m just stuck there rooted in place and I want to move but how? Where do I go when I don’t even know if this is what I really want to do with my life?

So all this insecurity, self doubts of not being good enough just consumed me all at once that when class was over I didn’t go to my next class anymore. I went home and cut. At that time I was quite obsessed with this series, Voltron. I had the episodes in my laptop so I decided to watch. It made me happy for a while but after that I went back to feeling empty. Yes that’s what I feel. Empty. Like a building could explode infront of me and I’ll probably just stare. That’s why I cut so I could feel something. 

I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I feel uncomfortable talking about it with my friends in school because I know they’ll never understand. Except for one. I talked to this guy who I went to high school with. He used to cut that’s why I told him I was feeling empty. He invited me to go out drinking with him one Friday night after class. We met up and I told him everything - how I felt empty, unsure of my life and even told him that I thought about jumping down a building but I didn’t want to die you know? In my head I’m thinking there’s this big ball of blackness inside of me and if I jumped down I’ll be leaving those negative feelings behind and I’ll land gracefully on my feet. I told him to about my cutting and he didn’t judge. He just sat there and listened to me ranting and to me it was enough. I had a fun time drinking though I threw up when I got home. Still, college is not complete without the alcohol lmao at least I have some fun story to tell

I felt better after talking to someone about it. Around that time too, I started reading these contemporary YA books where the characters were undergoing some challenges. i’m talking about realistic ones like mental illnesses and I was like wow do I relate to this shit where they’re still trying to find themselves and all that. what I learned from reading all those was that it’s ok not to be ok (sounds cliche I know but the me back then still needed some reminding about that) and most important of all? IT’S FUCKING OK TO NOT HAVE EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT

All around me I thought these people already know what they want to do with their lives while i’m still stuck here questioning but hey it’s ok I’m still young! I DON’T NEED TO HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE FIGURED OUT

When I realized that, that’s when things start getting better and I cut less and less. In front of our school there’s a line of Internet cafes where ppl can rent computers for a certain amount of time. There’s this game that’s really popular called League of Legends. And it’s also known for being toxic. It’s ironic - that a game known for it’s toxicity will be one of the things that will help me. 

Around that time too I was having trouble with some friend of mine, kept avoiding me and shit and I’m like ok if he doesn’t want to hang out then fine. So after class and during my break times I went to play League. It distracted me from my negative thoughts and made me feel better. It’s also not toxic all the time to my relief. I met some nice ppl there, ppl who would invite me to play everytime we happen to be both online and even someone who added me because he wanted to play with me after seeing how I frustrated I was haha

I was looking for reasons to fucking live even the small ones. I have a puppy at home who likes to play with me everytime I got home tired from school she would jump around my foot and looking at my absolutely cute puppy I thought to myself “wow I probably don’t want to kill myself bcos who would this cutie play with if I kill myself?”

I stopped cutting too. Whenever I have negative thoughts I played League instead of cutting. I’m not going to say some corny shit here like League saved my life because it didn’t. I decided to save myself because who else would? And League just happened to be there. I still don’t know if that was depression I felt. But I did felt like wanting to go to a psychiatrist. I just didn’t bcos I didn’t want to go by myself. So anyway fast forward

It’s July 4 here and I just viewed my grades. I was so fcking happy to see that I passed all my subjects I swear I got scared I might fail calculus but guess what? I PASSED AND CONQUERED THAT SHIT DESPITE HATING IT AND THINKING ABOUT OFFING MYSELF

and they’ll never read this but SHOUT OUT TO MY ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL SEATMATES IN CALCULUS WHO “HELPED” ME DURING SEATWORKS U GUYS ARE HANDSOME AND CUTE I WISH U ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD

I was so happy to see that I passed everything that I took a screenshot of it and posted it on my Twitter. Then a former classmate of mine (who I wasn’t very close with) replied with a “congrats MJ!!” and when I saw it on my notifications my first thought was: wow. why did I ever want to kill myself?

we’re not close and it’s just a small gesture but it made me want to cry. it made me want to cry that I even thought about killing myself. I harmed myself. But I fucking passed. And I’m here now feeling all giddy and shit. This is great, I deserve this after that toxic semester. There;s a saying we have in Tagalog: mapapagod pero hindi susuko. It means we get tired but we never give up. But to me it’s more like “mapapagod pero hindi magpapakamatay” get tired but don’t kill yourself. ok that sounds...idk haha so yeah

idk where I placed that box cutter but I know I hid it deep somewhere when I stopped cutting. When I started feeling better I said to that thing “not today old friend.” idk where that thing is but if I could say something to it right now it would be “definitely not today old friend and hopefully never again”

Life’s a bitch. Sometimes it’s not. And it’s the days (like this!!!) where it’s not a bitch are the ones worth living for.

ok time to play League HAHAHAHA