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eustasskidagenda · 7 months

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omg hi hi! i adore your writing so much :3! if its alright with you, could i get headcanons for how crocodile, law, kid, and ace would be with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump, but is nervous to do so. theres always this odd bit of shame that accompanies infodumping for me because i get so excited i cant properly articulate myself *lays down* its just a mess of stimming, stuttering, and laughing at my own jokes. i feel embarrassed after, even if its totally an illogical response. im unsure if you write for autistic y/n so feel free to ignore this if you dont. thank you so much <33

☆Crocodile, Law, Kid & Ace with an autistic s/o who loves to info dump

Hello, dear anon! I'm not used to write autistic y/n, because I don't know enough about this and I wouldn't like to be harmful. However, the situation you're describing is something close to ADHD, which I know well. So I've made some additional researches to be sure and come up with something, I hope you will like it. Thank you for your request, it was a sweet one ♡

CW : g/n reader, slight curses for Kid, fluff

WC : Around 1,500 words

Crocodile

Crocodile doesn't talk much, he's always serious and quiet. It's just that he's often thinking about his business and plans. But he's a good observer and would immediately notice if you want to say something but are too nervous to do it. He knows you perfectly, so he would recognize the way you're fidgeting.

He's a man with good manners, so his first reflex would be to lock the door and make sure no one can enter and destabilize you. When it's done, he will point his chair towards you.

"Sit. I'm listening, y/n."

Actually, he likes hearing you speak during hours. He knows it's a way to express your love and feelings. He's flattered that you want to share your world with him. Go ahead and speak, he will listen. Even if he's just nodding or commenting short sentences in response, he has a good memory and will remember everything you said to him.

If you're talking too fast and start to get really flustered, he will let you know that you're speaking too fast, like 'y/n, what did you just say?'

Your hyper-focus and info-dumping are appreciated by Crocodile because he enjoys learning new things and you're a source of knowledge. Maybe he's impassive and struggles to express his feelings, but sometimes you will hear him talk about what he learned with you, so clearly he listened to every single word.

"Don't be ashamed, it was interesting. Can we talk more about this specific point?"

If you say something that he is really curious about, he has no shame asking for more. It's a way for him to express his genuine care for you. For him, it's a way to prove to you that even though he's always quiet, he cares.

Law

Law is similar to Crocodile in his lack of emotional expression and limited speech. He is always busy, struggling with his parasitic thoughts and taking care of his patients. Finding some private time with you is a challenge for him.

If you run into Law with excitement about your passion or new hyper-focus, he may feel embarrassed because it's not the perfect time for him. Autism is something he knows about, and he is an intelligent and educated man. And, he wants to make you feel safe and comfortable.

"I'll be yours in a moment, y/n-ya."

He has a complete understanding of you and is an excellent observer. The way you're already blushing, fidgeting, and swallowing nervously. He can even hear your heart racing. So first thing first, he will tell you to take a deep breath. After all, he’s a doctor.

"What do you wanna talk about?"

As Crocodile, he's a great listener. When you're full of passion and excitement, he thinks you're cute. He likes the sound of your voice. He loves when you want to find him and talk about your passion, because you're offering him a break from his work. If you weren't there, he would be stuck either in work or in his own head. When he's with you, he can forget about his dream of avenging. You're his safe place, truly.

He doesn't speak a lot. But he is listening.M and asks questions from time to time.

"Yn-ya, there's been no urge. Take your time." And if you're stuttering a lot, he would just say nothing because it's pointless to make a remark, as long as he can understand what you're saying, he will never say something about your elocution.

"That's interesting, where did you learn that much?"

Law is a curious and intelligent man, so he likes to learn more about almost everything. If it can help him with his plans or maybe his patients, it might even be beneficial for him.

During your bedtime together, he would ask you to talk about your passions. The way you talk and laugh is like his own lullaby. When you speak, he can find inner peace because it shuts down all the voices in his head. He might fall asleep sometimes when he feels tired. It's just that you're providing him with some relief. When he wakes up, he would be deeply sorry. "So, yesterday, you stopped at this precise point… what were you trying to say after?"

Kid

Kid is so goddamn loud. And really passionate. He's focused on his goal of becoming the next PK and has loved mechanics and robotics since childhood. He would be aggressively sweet, like frowning when he notices how stressed and nervous you act towards him. "Hey, Y/N, why are you so fucking nervous? Just speak"

He thinks you're cute with your cheeks all red. On the flip side, he's a bit confused. Why are you nervous? Is it his fault? He knows he's loud, hard to love and rough, but he cares about people he likes. Have you seen how he acts with Killer and his crew? He loves his people.

And, as a punk, Kid is marginalized. He knows a lot about being different, and if you feel ashamed about it, he can understand. "Come on y/n, let's find a private place"

Grab your wrist in an aggressive yet sweet way and lead you to his workshop or bedroom. He sits you on the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Now we're alone."

So, you start talking nervously. It doesn't matter if the topic is interesting to him or not, he will listen. Because as I said, Kid is a passionate. Everything can be made interesting by passionate people. So, yeah, talk about birds, cakes, plushies, or anything stuck in your head. He will like it. And he enjoys the sound of your voice. He’s even flattered to be your special someone, the one you’re looking for when you need to talk. It fuels his ego and pride.

He will deal with your stuttering as he deals with Killer's laugh. He'll shut up and smash all the people making fun of you if there's something you hate about yourself. You're his s/o, no one can laugh at you and continue to live without facing his rage.

"Goddamn, slow down" yes, not the best with kindness, but at least he's paying attention.

He wouldn't help but think you're really cute, with your eyes shining as you finally manage to relax and express how passionate you are. He understands your excitement because when he talks about robots, music, punk or weapons, he's exactly the same.

Kid is not the most culturally advanced, it depends on the topic. He enjoys learning new things thanks to you or Killer, it's important for him to be credible, and he hates looking inferior in front of others.

"See, there was no reason to be that nervous" When you finished speaking.

Just poke your cheek, grin and leave a mark of lipstick on your front-head before returning to his activities and yelling proudly to everyone he knows everything about the subject you just info-dump about.

Ace

The sweetest. Ace's personality is both compassionate and protective. He grew up with Luffy, so passionate and talkative people are something he knows a lot about. As he's proud of his brother, he's proud of you and can listen to everything you say for hours.

"Y/N, is there something wrong?"

Yeah, he would immediately notice that you're starting to get nervous. His first reflex is to find a more private place, if that's not already the case. He wants to do everything to make you feel safe and loved. If it's winter or just cold, he would even use his DF to warm the room. As soon as you're all comfortable, he'll run his fingers through your hair. "You know I will always listen."

Ace doesn't speak a lot about what's on his mind. He's way too stubborn and always struggles with guilt due to the blood running through his veins. So he enjoys having someone like you. Your voice is soothing him, and he loves how passionate and honest you are always.

For him, it's even amazing and unreal to have someone talk to him. You're treating him like a normal human and not a failure, because he feels like it often: unloved, unwanted and unworthy.

"Sweetie, you don't have to rush, we have the time, I'll always listen" if you start to speak too fast.

Would entwine his fingers with yours when you're stuttering and laugh heartily at your jokes. You remind him of his dear little brother. He feels lucky to have you by his side.

"I could listen for hours." And he's totally honest.

If someone makes fun of you, he's truly mad. You are as significant to him as his brother or Whitebeard. And if someone makes fun of his loved-one, Ace is merciless and really impulsive.

"Please, say more about this specific point!", "Oh, really, that's so funny?" He wants to make you talk even more. Until you're finally relaxed and able to speak without stuttering, blushing, or anything else. He doesn't mind it, even if it lasts for hours. Once you're done, he has his usual sweet smile on his face. "That was so interesting, why are you so embarrassed?"

So you explain to him that you feel embarrassed about your info dump because you're afraid to annoy people or talk too fast etc." It's alright, you won't bother me."

You're his sunshine. He feels loved with you. He feels more than just the son of someone; he's just Ace, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world for him.

Such a sweet boy. ♡

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sukunasweetheart · 2 months

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//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

#jjk #sukuna

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bunnieshoneys · 2 months

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WRITING TIPS🗣️

by bunny

hello and welcome to my soup. my letter soup. someone asked a very long time ago if i had any writing advice, and i said no, because writing is very in my head for me, but having thought about it there are some tips over the years that have changed the way i write! so

no. 1

youve probably seen this before. its what i call in my head the 70% rule -

- characters should never communicate more than 70% of what they feel to those around them.

70% is an absolute max, too. most of the time, characters interacting with each other should only articulate 50-60% of what they mean. think of your own life and how much you can struggle to say what you want, or say what you need. you can’t say it perfectly, right? it might be due to the strength of what theyre feeling, difficulty being honest, where they are. the likelihood of ever being to perfectly articulate yourself is low. utilise that, it makes conversations so much more fun to read!

no2

adding onto this, unreliable narrator should always, always (imo) play somewhat of a role in a narrative voice, unless omniscient third person is being used. i used to write a lot of first person pov, and now i prefer third person (growing up🤝🏻) but in third person a narrative voice can and still should be just as strong as in first person - tall ask, but its possible.

we are seeing the world through this character’s eyes: act like it. even if another character is a mess, if your pov character wouldnt notice it, the pov is going to be affected by that. they dont know what others are thinking or feeling. theyre guessing. and those guesses are going to be informed by their own experiences or perceptions of those around them, along with the world in general.

no3

show not tell. this kiiind of links back to no2 bc its sort of related to narrative voice. trust your readers to pick up on implications and read between the lines. every single interaction / scene has purpose - and it doesnt have to be clear!! i promise that even if readers dont get the purpose, they’ll pick up on the vibes🫵🏻

no4

you do not have to solve every plot hole or character flaw to show development. in fact id encourage you NOT to, especially if ur work is <30k.

i <3 toxicity and rancid vibes, so im a bit biased on this one. its definitely sort of an acquired taste. 😕✌🏻 but in short one shots (anything under 40/50k, id consider short, lol) fixing everything is unnecessary!! you can leave things unfinished! it makes everyone feel incredibly human and raw!!

no5

relating to no4 slightly, tension.

never never never show your full hand. theres always something left to be revealed! whether its about the world itself, another character, or someone’s motivations, it needs to be kept secret. riiiight until the end

(this is more for longform writing)

finally

world - your characters have to be casual about where they are, with little exception. the BEST aus ive read are where the characters feel casual about the crazy things happening bc this is THEIR normal, and its taken for granted so much but it really makes or breaks a work.

slang or language, reactions to stuff that we as readers might be alarmed by but they arent - think a burn in a hospitality au or injuries in sports aus - they might not be as big a deal to the characters since this is their normal.

exceptions include charas thrown into ur world brand new / really big events - essentially you pick and choose where the biggest reactions are to events for plot🫶🏻

i feel silly typing this. anyways enjoy

#bunny answers #writing tips #ao3 #uuuh #yum?

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murdockmeta · 1 month

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hi, im new here (not to dd just to the tumblr sphere— why does everyone seem to hate zdarsky/checchetto? i really enjoyed the first part of zdarkys run and i adore checchetto’s art + design, so idk what i missed that makes everyone who comicsposts dislike it so much??

hm. this isn't the easiest question to answer. there's a LOT of different reasons as to why people disliked that run.

tbh I'll admit the first 20 or so issues of v6 are kind of okay. not impossible to read. it goes downhill fast after that, tho. very very downhill.

here's this post by @/xycuro-illuminati that does a good job of explaining why so many people disliked the run. here's my post on the ableism in zdarsky's writing. trust me you aren't the first person who's asked this question before

i'll give you a more general answer of my own opinion, tho

zdarsky's writing misses what most consider to be crucial points of Matt and Elektra's characters. with this, he entirely obliterates their characterization and that really pissed a lot of comics fans off.

i would consider volume 6 to be the beginning of the MCU-ification of dd. it is clear that at that point, some higher-ups were pushing for daredevil comics to become more like the show. the show was a MASSIVE hit and they wanted to cash in on that. so, they had the writers start shifting the comics and the characterization around to fit the show better.

this is where the problem lies. it is insulting, honestly, to ignore the past 50 plus years of writing for matt's character to shift it into something that will be more palatable to live actions fans just so marvel can get a good payday.

the most glaringly noticeable part of this is - the catholicism. the live action show makes a big deal out of matt being catholic when this was never really the case in the comics. while matt being religious and catholic are present in matt's background in the comics, it's not even close to being a big part of the character.

one of the main things that makes matt so compelling as a character is his morality, his integrity. he upholds his moral code relentlessly because he believes it is the right thing to do. he believes everyone deserves a second chance no matter what. in zdarsky's run and in the show, matt's reason for upholding his moral code is tied to his religious beliefs.

here's a good post on the origins of catholicism being related to matt's character and how it differs from the show and why it is such an injustice to tie matt's morality to his religion.

it's really really hard to articulate every single thing that's wrong with zdarsky's run while also giving you a thorough explanation.

i could tell you about how zdarsky's original plot was focused around matt's guilt when he accidentally kills someone but... matt's killed people before. he killed someone in his very first issue. ever. he was chasing after the man who was responsible for his father's murder and scared him so badly the man had a heart attack and died.

all of zdarsky's plots and subplots are all things that have been done over and over, he just writes it worse.

i could tell you about how shitty checchetto's art is. he can't draw women. or fat people (foggy fans deserve reparations). toward the end of the run he gets ESPECIALLY sloppy. he whitewashed kirsten and sam.

i could tell you about how zdarsky wrecked elektra's character. he completely ignored her origins and the character development she's had over the course of decades of writing just to slap some random retconned backstory onto her.

theres so. many. things.

i got into the comics through the show. when I started reading the comics I honestly perceived comics matt and show matt as two entirely different characters because they just felt so incredibly separate from one another. it is not that there are zero similarities, but their reasons for WHY they are the way that they are diverge wildly from each other

i dont know how else to put it except to say this. when I read zdarsky's run, I do not feel like I'm reading about Matt Murdock. it doesn't feel like matt, it doesn't feel like daredevil. it feels like an entirely new character that I do not know.

to fully explain to you why i feel that way would take a damn book. i realize that my answer isn't at all comprehensive and some parts are probably confusing but it is impossible to pick a start and end point. that's just not matt. that's it.

#dd #dd comics #daredevil comics #anti chip zdarsky #asks #ren replies #ren rambles #anon asks #nonny asks

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corvidcall · 9 months

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i feel like i saw someone else say this, but i cant remember where. but its weird to me that people will present current beauty standards as so much less restricting than they used to be in days of yore. as someone who has never met beauty standards, it seems like the shift has been less about embracing peoples natural beauty and more about like. mandating that you must be beautiful but also mandating that you deny that you're trying??

people used to wear hairstyles that took hours to construct, and sure we dont do that anymore, but it's not because we dont care about you having the correct hairstyle. we just dont want you to admit you put effort into it. is a 1920s full face of makeup actually less work than the elaborate skincare and makeup routines girlies do on tiktok? have we embraced "natural beauty", or have we just made it abberant to admit that it wasnt natural?

is athleisure being so popular really a positive change in fashion? is it really embracing comfort? or is it just denying anyone who doesnt already meet the standards any place to hide? corsets were restrictive, sure, but you could pad a corset. You can tailor a suit to accentuate certain features and downplay others.

idk. i dont think im articulating this well enough. but i feel like its weird to demand constant beauty and also demand like it was natural. and it's even more frustrating when people look back on fashions of the past and be like "wow im so glad i live now, where nobody forces me to wear a corset or a long skirt or a suit!!!" yeah those garments were probably taxing, at least occasionally! but are you more free now that you're expected to wear tight, stretchy fabrics every day? where theres no way to hide every unslightly bulge or dip in your skin? where you cant pad anything or strategically arrange any fabrics to make you look better, so the only option is to undergo surgical alternations if you want to feel good in your own body??? i dont know. i just think its fucked up that a transition towards alleged "comfort" seems to have, instead of making people more comfortable, just given them fewer options when it comes to how they can make their bodies look good.

#anime life #does this make sense? probably not #but ah well. thats what posting is for

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todayisafridaynight · 3 months

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Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?

i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do

like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says

why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)

like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..

the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this

i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP

another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed

like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man

#iw spoilers #spoilers #snap chats #i think these are all my thoughts. or at least the very basics #point is Resident Aoki Fan Hates The Guy Reminiscent Of Aoki more at 11 #its like .... aoki was an interesting antagonist for his reasons you cant just frankenstein them onto this rando motherfucker #most deviantart oc ass backstory too literally kill yourself #OK IM DONE FR NOW. i wanna DRAW TODAY #maybe ill finally update my ichi blog cause ive had a post sketched for weeks but i keep getting distracted on sundays #im also driving back to school later so .... heres to hoping i have energy tonight vjeLVKERJ #im drawing other bullshit rn .. lol..

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donnerpartyofone · 5 months

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anon here who feels a great kindred spirit with you, maybe one day i'll have the guts to message not anonymously but frankly i really admire you and also struggle with the mortification of putting myself out there directly it may be one day but not today. ANYways. just saw your post re: the knee-jerk reaction of ppl to say something like "no! everyone is special (or beautiful/smart/talented/etc.) in their own way!" when you or i tries to acknowledge something that is real to us and that affects our day to day life. ive touched on stupidity before bcuz that is something that you've articulated better than i ever could but you were talking in that post a little more specifically abt physical beauty and i do think theres something to be said there for usamerican individualism. bcuz ive heard a lot that other countries/cultures find our particular brand of individualism to be weird to say the least. and i have, for most of my life (and this is true now), had a body that has been perceived as very desirable (eg. skinny, but still have tits and an ass, proportionally "good", etc.) but my face i have always known does not live up to beauty standards. bcuz of this, ppl closer have had a hard time understanding why i struggle so much with self esteem related to my looks and have often jumped to "but youre so pretty!" when i try to talk abt it. the outside of this is that i look like a child in the face and am often mistaken for a child even at 28. when i was an actual child, read: 18 and under, i received a LOT of attention from men, often men who were old enough to be my father. now that i am not a child that attention has waned, even though i've put on a little weight and my body is frankly more rocking than ever. BUT my face stays unchanged and i think i have so of an uncanny valley effect on ppl now. im bringing all this up bcuz this is another piece of kinship i feel with you: even before i started really paying attention to your posts discussing things, i really admired your selfies bcuz you and i actually look pretty similar, we have the same texture of hair and a similar face. but i have always felt that, from your pictures, you seem much more "in control" of your look than i do. i love your sense of style and i love how you do your brows so dark and dramatic but also seem to wear (as far as i can tell; im not much for makeup so correct me if im wrong) relatively little makeup otherwise. regardless of how you look, you project an image (as always, i know i can only know you parasocially so take this as much or as little as you want to) of someone who knows how they look and how they want to present themselves. i personally keep my head buzzed most of the time, and when i first started doing it, i did it bcuz it meant that no one had any excuse anymore. they had to look at my face and acknowledge my whole bare face with no distractions. it was a way of directing how i was perceived. now i dont know if thats what your brows are to you but ive always thought "wow, the dramatic brow is such a masterful use of makeup and direction". ive always seen the way you present yourself as seeming thoughtfully and well curated, and ive hoped for myself that i could someday present that way. as you can tell, i really admire you lol. hope im not being weird. im not really sure what my point is here but once again you articulated something well that i only have ruminated on abstractly.

i've also been thinking of you bcuz recently i ran up against the old "im too stupid to do this normal thing and now it may badly affect my life" situation: tried to put my tabs on my car and bcuz they were taped to the paper, they just broke into pieces on the tape when i tried to peel them away. so i just panicked and badly pieced them onto my license plate in a way im sure will seem infinitely more suspicious should a cop notice and decide to pull me over. my husband tells me tabs are supposed to do this as an anti theft measure, this is information i somehow missed in my 28 years of life and 12 years of being a legal driver. and if i get pulled over im not honestly sure i know where all my necessary paperwork is and will undoubtedly start shaking from anxiety which also looks suspicious when i try to hand a cop my id and my hand is shaking like a leaf. and i havent been pulled over yet but now every time i drive my car im going to be thinking abt it. god willing the distraction of fear of the unknown wont lead me to crashing my car but thatd be just the thing id do too. just wanted to share bcuz i think youre probably the only person who understands how it feels and bcuz hey, i want you to know youre not the only one out there muddling through life as a series of actions and unforeseen consequences, no matter how foreseen those consequences "shouldve been".

sorry for this long and rambling message. i have no two-ipas excuse this time as its morning here and im stone cold sober (the ipas were the voodoo juice ranger by the way) but you just make me think a lot, and again, i admire you very much. thanks as always and i hope that today is, if not easier on you, at least tolerable in terms of its challenges.

Dearest field correspondent, I wish I had a more thoughtful, interesting response to your kind message, but unfortunately you may receive instead le big rant. I am very low self-control lately and you're all going to have to pay for it! I'm thinking about my 85 year old father-in-law who is still razor sharp and full of energy, and so he is vividly aware of the nearness of death and very anxious about it. At his birthday dinner he started preaching to my husband and me about how you just have to live every minute you've been given to its fullest, and I often think about how he's right and he's wrong at the same time. Like it's patently correct that you should treasure whatever life you're allowed, but I think it would take a mental giant to really do that unless you're just basically a terrific person with few problems. If your personal chemistry makes you feel bad all the time due to circumstances or past trauma or plain old bad wiring, it's really hard to just consciously choose to feel good and be filled with gratitude and slurp all the delicious marrow out of your day. And what if your days don't have that much marrow to begin with? Of course if the Christmas ghosts came and snatched you up and confronted you with the preciousness of the life you are squandering, that you can still redeem if you try, that would change your tune, but it's hard to get that same kind of life-changing effect by just intellectually acknowledging the value of yourself and your time on earth.

(I'm gonna put a break here so I don't eat up everybody's dash, brb)

I was thinking about this, in a way, because somebody just asked me for a head shot for this project I'm on, so I was going through selfies to see if I had anything appropriate, and man was that depressing. Of course Tumblr was serving a jumble of new and old pictures, but some of them looked really good, even recent ones. And I know I wasn't enjoying myself at the time that I took them, any of them. I was just struggling to feel good about myself out of some perverse sense of obligation. I've always had the urge to express something with my appearance, to build up some kind of power and efficacy around what I could do with it, but I never felt anything like that happening. I mean for every selfie that was good enough to post, there are at least 100 I had to throw out that were ugly and embarrassing and more like "the real me". And I know just from living my life that I'm not attractive, my entire social experience does not reflect that of an attractive woman; even among the guys I dated, it's hard to weigh the two who actually liked me against the majority who were just indiscriminately looking for some pathetic specimen to torture and humiliate in order to feel good about themselves.

(And I guess this is TMI but who really cares, I'm sure no one is even reading this, but the irony is that I'm really great in bed. It's a fact. I just love sex and I'm not at all embarrassed about it and I have a knack for getting people comfortable really letting loose and getting to do what they truly want. I know this for sure not only from being in the room, but from detailed postscript testimonials from partners--even the ones who secretly hated me. And naturally that makes me feel pretty good, but it feels incomplete somehow, without the sense of control of my own appearance, without a satisfying relationship to my own body which disgusts me and is constantly causing me unmanageable problems both aesthetic and medical. Like I really want to just crumple it up and throw it in the trash, who fucking cares)

But I see some of those (highly staged, illusory, pain-in-the-ass to shoot) selfies and for a second I'm forced to wonder why that person had to feel so bad about and not have any fun at all, every single day. And now it's extra hard because as I might have said, I've had rosacea for around 15 years, and most of the time it was just a fairly manageable if embarrassing redness, but ever since I took the asthma medication Symbicort for a month this summer, the condition has been progressively deforming. I don't even look the same as I did this fall, and I have no reason to believe things will get better or even level out. Like, this is it. I feel like I don't even have the same skull shape as the girl in these cute pictures from September. I'm stressing myself out wondering about all kinds of procedures I can barely pay for, that could potentially make it worse actually. I'm wondering if I need to quit my public-facing volunteer gig, one of the only things that gives my life meaning, because I'm sick of how red and bloated and wet I look in every single livestream, and I don't like it when I'm occasionally accused of being drunk or I'm randomly told to "calm down" because I looked like I'm panicking even when I'm not. I don't know what to do. I wish I didn't care. But it's tough to look back at old pictures, even just from six months ago, and think Damn I didn't know how much worse things were about to get, I should have live-laugh-loved through every grueling moment of my luxurious mediocrity while I still had it to enjoy!

--On that note there's a certain curse of women who are like, not ugly enough for it to feel like a hopeless case, but who also don't actually have much potential to do anything satisfying with themselves. If you absolutely know that beauty isn't an open road for you, you can choose not to waste energy on that and you can focus on any number of other things that can make your life happy and meaningful; but if you have that nagging suspicion that maybe you COULD be finding exciting ways to express yourself through your looks, then you're dogged by this feeling of dissatisfaction and constantly wondering if it would be better if you just threw in the towel and called yourself ugly so you could stop thinking about it, or if that would be wasteful because maybe something nice would happen if you just made more of an effort, maybe there's still time, maybe you need the right haircut, maybe you need to shake up your wardrobe, maybe you need to learn that advanced hygiene routine that you always found too confusing to master, maybe you just need to get in shape, maybe et al ad nauseum. It would be better not to have to wonder about it all. And of course there's social pressure to maintain ambiguity, especially for women: You're supposed to work really hard to be hot, but you're supposed to act like it's all effortless and also like you have no idea how attractive you are. But you can't be unrealistically humble or people will hate you for that, too--they'll hate you for being dishonest, or they'll give you shit about your apparent self-esteem issues, because somehow that is always everybody's business. You can't win!

You're right that I don't wear much makeup, I really never learned; I never had a mom who was interested in me or the kinds of female friends who help you learn all the pageantry. I wore some makeup for a little while at the end of my 20s because I had to go to my fancy brother's wedding and I was embarrassed about looking raw and dowdy forever in his fancy wedding photos, so I forced myself to learn a few things. But basically I don't want to be bothered, and I enjoy the Joan Crawford brow I do, but that's utilitarian also--if I'm not paying attention I'll rip all the eyebrow hairs out of my face, which is extra embarrassing if it happens in the middle of a work day or something. So now the pencil is essential! And since my face started turning red I usually use some primer and foundation that I really like, although there is very little that keeps my head from looking like a big swollen clown nose, from now on. (All of my minimal supplies are from Make Up For Ever btw, expensive but long-lasting and reliable)

Unrelated but I'm really pissed off that I can't drink anymore, because now it brings on this violent painful flushing, and every time that happens it causes progressive destruction and like, basically every day is worse than the last--which is true anyway about aging, but it's escalated for me. But like, I have severe depression and anxiety and I can't be on any mood medications because they make my tinnitus intolerable, so the only thing I could reliably do for myself was have a little alcohol. Like just half a can of beer would get me through so many tough chores and bouts of mindless fear. And I love wine, I love amari, I love whiskeys, I love esoteric cocktail nonsense, I have a ton of friends from the craft beer world, and now basically there are entire art forms that I can't enjoy anymore, like ever again. And you can bet this is going to affect my relationships. I know people will want to say that's bullshit, quitting drinking is practically always a good thing and your "real friends" will stick with you sober...but that's all pretty hyperbolic. I don't want my life to be winnowed down to only the purest stuff. I don't want this cornerstone of my social and cultural life to be ripped out from under me. I never even developed any bad behaviors to deserve this! And god knows I don't want to have absolutely zero options for calming my nerves. Therapy and yoga and meditation have done nothing for me psychiatrically. I'm just fucked, really, in the dreariest most mundane way possible.

I wouldn't be so hung up on getting drunk and looking pretty if I had some other source of meaning, but it's hard to find that essential driving force when you can't even get through the day's chores like a normal person. I'm on like day 5 of trying to fold my clothes or even just shove them into bags, and I live in terror of the avalanche that is going to happen when one of us needs to get out the bed sheets that I "put away" dangerously in the closet, despite multiple attempts to do it right. I don't drive so you're ahead of me on some level! But I'm 100% positive I wouldn't have understood all that stuff about the tabs, haha. This week I'm seeing my GP and I'm going to ask for a psych referral for evaluations for autism and ADHD. I'm scared that I'm opening myself up to being officially diagnosed as just lazy and negative and then everyone will get to tell me I Told You So about how my only issue is my poor attitude, but I'm sure there's something going on with me, and if it's ADD and god forbid I can get a little medication of some kind that allows me to like wash dishes and do laundry like a normal person without making everything exponentially worse...then, you know, that would be a really big deal. It seems to me that a lot of people are depressed because of some unfulfilled dream they had of being really sexy and cool and talented, or some other superlative--and we usamericans do experience a lot of irrational cultural pressure to be Awesome at something, I'm not looking down on people who suffer from this--but all I want is to like, get on the bus successfully. To not humiliate myself every single time I go to ship a package because I just can't figure out what's going on, yet again. To not be having constant wardrobe malfunctions. To vacuum my house without just mysteriously pushing dirt and hair around into different configurations. To cook a nice simple meal I don't destroy. To have a job again. These are my most treasured fantasies. Maybe if we both put pressure on "the Universe" to "manifest" our dreams this year, then we can have a great 2024!

#sorry lol

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misspickman · 9 months

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fero pickman and xue yang. i know all your comics friends have you covered

fero !

Sexuality Headcanon: bi i think. i dont think hed care about defining that tbh. also keith once called him aromantic on twt and idk if thats generally considered canon but i enjoy it<3

Gender Headcanon: little guy. again to me? genderqueer but idk if hed care about it. in a modern au maybe, but less because he wants to define it and more because people would ask that of him. which maybe just makes him refuse to define it even more. much to think about

A ship I have with said character: ephero.. theyre so real in my heart.. i dont think about them much anymore but when i do. ah :(. also ferol he fucked that old man

A BROTP I have with said character: fero and hella and adaire,, what we could have had,, also mother glory. and samol. anyone of the main pcs tbh just put this guy in dynamics

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk honestly. i cant think of anything rn? im sure i have some but ?

A random headcanon: do you remember when we gave him a bunch of cats in our au. also: always fixing shit. this is how he shows he cares. he will not say it but he will fix that hole on hellas roof and be grumpy the whole time

General Opinion over said character: he has changed my brain chemistry irreparably. listening to seasons of hieron and going hes just like me fr (derogatory)

pickman!!!

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian. probably not something she thinks about much, a la "im probably nb but i have a job so idc about that now"

Gender Headcanon: my big butch wife. but in general same as above, she is what she is and shes too busy to dwell on it, and its not like its anyone elses business, right? also what even Are gender expectations of a caprak? i dont think this is ever discussed but i would like to know

A ship I have with said character: pickman/chantilly scathe.. man

A BROTP I have with said character: alekest :) and colette<3

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk i cant imagine her with men. the lesbian energy is off the charts

A random headcanon: i would like to think she gets more into art after zevunzolia. maybe into wood carving. it would be sweet. would she write poetry.. i dont think she would consciously sit down to do it but she is Very good at writing letters (thanks jack, for that<3)

General Opinion over said character: miss pickman my wife miss pickman.. we shall have a spring wedding.. i think about her six travelers ep So much. "I think it is something magical that separates us. Again, I am not speaking metaphorically."

xue yang :)

Sexuality Headcanon: probably bi. similar to what i said for fero but for entirely different reasons, i dont think hed care

Gender Headcanon: you see this is a Question. its been so long since ive actively thought about this so i cant articulate it but theres something going on there

A ship I have with said character: songxue, songxuexiao, i love a very horrid and messy xueyao too. any ship with xue yang is horrid and messy but in most cases the horridness is one sided but in xueyao its both of them. this increases the levels of horridness. u get me

A BROTP I have with said character: in my beautiful mind and nowhere else? wen qing. in a more realistic sense aqing and meng yao

A NOTP I have with said character: oh im sure there are many xue yang ships i would not enjoy but i dont wanna think about it rn. but uhh him and mo xuanyu? i just dont vibe

A random headcanon: in any modern au i am giving this guy soo many tattoos and piercings. also motorcycle guy

General Opinion over said character: i miss him its such a shame i can never step back into that fandom. also changed my brain chemistry but in a completely different way

#thank you baby :)#ask #i wish i could kick into my fatt era again so i could write more ephero bc my old fics are sooo bad but like trust me. trust me

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wolf1999loveatfirstbite · 2 months

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Also: heaven's door was okay. I place so much hype on it only for being extremely excited i get to hear Plaid as BG music without doing the ole Mute Media And Play Spotify In Background bit.

I do like the conception of their story, dissapointed how they only used symbolism in the very beginning and not much elsewhere. It set a disposition for me to find more (even upon accident), when there was none. The only other symbolism besides the Lemons was Ocean. Im sorry but if youre going to make a scene read obviously symbolic and have it no where else you are leaving the audience deprived.

There was also none at all self reflection through words or actions (besides the "i dont care, im dying" actions they choose). I would really like for the characters to have their own interpretations of ehat to think of the situation. Sure, i definately do have my own, but i would also love to see a different perspective, especially by the people going through it.

I think it also lacks a lot of character developement on the antagonists. I know the anatognism here is only something we're meant so see as frustrating for us when wanting the characters to reach their goal when time's out. But theres small pieces where im picking up maybe that the antagonists are supposed to mean more. I mean i get the small idea, but is there anything bigger they were trying to say but didnt know they didnt articulate well? Thats what i feel like, but maybe they meant 2 keep it small and underdeveloped.

I still really enjoyed it nonetheless but it wasnt something very very spectacular. I can enjoy okay movies, and i definitely enjoy terrible movies. I wanted to make this clear so i dont have people thinking its so grand. What makes it so friggen sweet is that Plaid :*)

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tonypostt · 2 months

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OUSJDG HI CREATIVELY COSMIC HERE.. i had to do a double take when i saw the notif that you reblogged our art and THANK U SM ?

hhh is genuinely a fantastic pokepasta and i couldn't get enough of it once i started wrapping my head around it. we've always been a HUGE fan of more abstract, interpretative, and experimental work so seeing a pokepasta go ALL IN on that approach was fantastic and i genuinely think it's one of our favorites now.

everything about how it was written really.. struck a chord with us. I COULD BE SO FAR OFF THE MARK im so sorry but im trying to articulate it. something about memory loss and identity loss and dissassociation. and how vulnerable it leaves you and how desperate you can become for an escape, no matter how much that escape hurts, because its surely better than the alternative. becoming dependent on something or someone that pains you because theres nothing else to turn to or so you believe.. and eventually it's all you know and turning back seems impossible. and you just fall deeper and deeper because the more it hurts the more it at least feels real and its become synonymous with comfort. its a very potent work to me is what im saying

as for the sylveon in my head its like 50% hexi. half the time its normal the other half it is absolutely NOT. im really glad you liked our art regardless though hasjfjgd

i hope you dont mind us rambling a bit uh!! i want to try and do better at letting people know how much the stuff they make means to me where im able. and happy hardcore hexidream hit HARD (in a good way)

HIII SORRY FOR ANSWERING SO LATE YOU SENT THIS LIEK RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF NESS (ALTER) STARTING TO PLAY SPLATOON 1 WHICH HE HAS BEEN WAITING TO DO FOR LIEK . A MONTH NOW (you know how it is with those Autistic People /LH)

I AM . SOOOSOSOOSOSOOOOOOOSOSOOSOO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT HHH RESONATED WITH YOU SO MUCH . LIEK IM NOT EVEN KIDDING . esp as the years go by and i form what HHH is in my head more (which will probably not ever be a concrete thing . Liek i just think that's the nature of HHH) and i just even let it sit with Me The Author . it's also just kind of one-of-a-kind in my writing where it started as a one-off but then grew into something instead of me planning out 745395764385634895643987 different multimedia projects HSDKJFGDSKJLFGKJSD .

and liek . DONT WORRY ABOUT BEING "OFF THE MARK" WITH HHH BECAUSE THERE IS NO MARK . my dream is to have a world filled with a billion different HHH takes ..... Because honestly that was what it was made for (or . i guess . Continued for ? it was originally a vent with the first two parts being posted . Twwwoooooo years ago ??? On the pokepasta wiki ????? Fuck i can't remmeber im barely even fronting rn JSKLDFGHDKSJ) , to be talked about and theorized about and just . Conversed . Hexi is everything to me (and she is everything to you !)

WITH THAT BEING SAID . I ABSOLUTELY LOVE UR INTERPRETATION SO MUCH . i think a good amount of people kinda miss the subtle themes of trauma in HHH especially if they haven't read my other stuff or know me personally . Mostly because they're probably overwhelmed by the material itself and i dont blame themJLKJSDGFLKJSDGK . you could interpret hexi as either the truama , the effects of it , a reflection of how one views their own trauma or themselves within it , etc . But liek i said that's also only one side of the picture too even within the aspect of it being focused around trauma . the Situation could be representative of the trauma or a flashback . Or it could be some kind of a conversation situation . Or it could be a person . Or it could all be fake . Or it could be the person having a Funky Time !

and theres even more that you could do with this . liek . I feel a bit bad for not being able to put as much as much as i could into the updates that came after the first two chapters/parts to imply Other Things:tm: other than the fact that there's just random chaos going on , mostly because HHH is the type of story where you spot a new sentence you haven't read before and it changes EVERYTHING .

Also shoutouts to the fact that executive dysfunction affects my writing very disproportionately and the fact that there's supposed to be a massive update on april 4th that i dont even know if i can write let alone on time . I WOULD LOVE TO PUT IT OUT I JUST . BRAAAINSJDFHKDSKGSJKD

ALSO IRT SYLVEON . YOU ARE STRONGER THAN GOD FOR HAVING HEXI IN YOUR HEAD (/J i know fictives aren't their source) . ALSO PLS TELL IT HI FOR ME IF POSSIBLE i think it is so swag

ALSO NO WORRIES I . HAVE CLEARLY RAMBLED A BIT MORE in fact there's stuff ive rambled about on previous asks regarding HHH . if you enjoyed HHH you'd probably like my other stuff even if atm i dont have a Ton that is as Crazysillay as HHH !!! they can be found on my AO3 (tonyboyy) . Also obligatory mention to ness's splatoon visual novel that is in the works because im INSANE about it . He hasnt posted about it at all in order to avoid spoilers but just know that whenever last dovesong releases i will fly to the moon . ANYWAY THANK U FOR UR ASK !!!!!!!!

#tonytxt #HHH #happy hardcore hexidream #ask #Hexi :]

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sinkableruby · 1 year

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do you think Ougi could make friends with which Monogatari characters?

oh what a wonderful ask

you came to the right person for this

spoilers (up to amarimonogatari, as well as ougimonogatari but you can skip them if you want) (none of the spoilers except the ones for ougimonogatari are specific i should mention, and even those ones are very minor. you should have read at least musubi id say)

hmm i have no ranking so i will go through them

i think they could be friends with nadeko (in fact i am writing a short fic about that that i will release eventually, probably after my next big fic). (! also some general spoilers for amari for this part !) i say this because nadekos on a path to become an oddity specialist, has met ougi a few times, and also (perhaps most importantly) gets along with yotsugi very well. i think yotsugi and nadeko's friendship is so sweet (the artist and the artist's modeling figurine...) but it makes me think that nadeko would have insight into an oddity's perspective (not to mention that she's Been an oddity) that would make her a candidate for friendship with ougi. like she could definitely handle ougi's chaoticness and i think it'd be a very fun dynamic between the two where nadeko wouldnt yield to or get pushed around by ougi. she'll always have a bit of darkness in her heart and ougi would probably appreciate that lol. not to mention ougi likes her manga and i cant articulate it but this is a crucial factor. like i think as of nademonogatari it couldnt happen, but as time goes on, like a long amount of time i think theres a possibility. itd probably always be a little shaky given their history but given all the changes i just mentioned i think it could happen eventually.

oh this is an aside, but ougi cant be friends with araragi. its not possible. its like. its like if youre already maxed out closeness with someone you cant just go redefining that relationship its already done. ougi and araragi start out with their social links maxed theyre the closest they could possibly be so they can only stay there or drift apart (which they do. which is a good thing). on that note i think they could be friends if they weren't the same person because they would actually be able to get closer and define the relationship instead of having the preset filled out which is also also something i am writing a (longer) fic about for a human/college au type thing

now with kanbaru i think it is possible even in canon. with araragi, not only would i say its bad for ougi to stay attached to him and for him to stay attached to them, but i would also say he's kind of cold and like. tries to avoid them lol. which ig makes sense for him but like ouch dude dont be such a stranger that was literally you once dont act like theyre gonna ruin your life again just cause u said hi to them damn. on the other hand kanbaru we learn in musubi does visit ougi and actually maintains the relationship (she was always more social than araragi anyway). we know what their relationship is like already its ougi torturing kanbaru and just being the funniest little fellow so theres not much to comment on here.

now theres an interesting tidbit in ougimonogatari (you can skip this part if you want but its not major) where hachikuji gets info on the current mystery from ougi, who gets lost at midnight to talk to her, and its implied that theyre close. i love the idea of this friendship between them it sounds really chill. its also implied that ougi is a night owl so i can imagine like them wandering around in the mystical late night/early morning hours and chatting with the local god. and i think they would even have a much different dynamic from araragi's dynamic with hachikuji, bc araragi only sees her when hes lost and so there's an element of hachikuji offering advice that defines their relationship, but i think this would be different in ougis relationship with hachikuji (esp considering they seem to just. get lost on purpose. which idk how that works but cool). if anything, ougi would probably help with protecting the town, pointing out things for hachikuji to watch out for, and then it would probably turn into pleasant conversation from there. i imagine hachikuji would want to check in on them as the god of the town (and as a friend, and just bc shes kind like that), and hachikuji could talk philosophy with ougi and offer her own perspective on things. in that sense it becomes a friendship where they r both trying to help each other. also since hachikuji still cant be seen by people who arent lost (i think this is confirmed in musubi), i think she'd enjoy talking to someone without feeling bad about knowing they were in some kind of bind or struggle. itd be less stressful for her i imagine. so yeah i think theyd just have a mutual help thing that would also include fun chill conversations for the both of them.

yotsugi and ougi... i think it depends a lot on how they meet, what point they meet at, and like. yotsugis mood. bc even with nadeko yotsugi sometimes says theyre not friends and sometimes says theyre besties. shes just like that so i dont think they could ever truly (or i guess, Always) be friends just bc yotsugi consistently is inconsistent. at the same time, ougi is also consistently inconsistent albeit in slightly more consistent ways, they are both kind of toxic, they both give off uncanny impressions (in the theoretical freudian/uncanny valley sense where ononoki is a corpse doll and ougi is just. clearly inhuman in some way but you cant put your finger on how exactly), and they both have the same oddity mindset of "functioning," as a tool in yotsugi's case (she says it a lot in amarimonogatari) or towards a purpose in ougi's case (she says it in owari ge and just. you can tell from how they talk that thats how theyre framing things). so itd be cool bc they have a lot in common... but also, because they both have in common a very work-oriented mindset they might not like. actually develop the friendship outside of like very coincidentally doing a job together for whatever reason (smh at these two girlbosses). i think if they did become friends theyd diss other people together LOL gossip crew. i dont think the friendship is that likely honestly theyre much much more likely to just tolerate each other but i guess you could see their similarities as more proof for why i think ougi and nadeko could be friends lol.

ougi and tsukihi!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes i love it!!!! i want to see it!!!!!!! they have a nice conversation in ougi dark as well as an audio commentary together... what i like about it so much is that tsukihi is so unstoppable and good at putting people off balance that ougi cant completely evade it with their evasion techniques. even ougi can be forced to play the straight man when faced with tsukihi lol. tsukihi is a force of nature, and ougi is also fond of this about her. and tsukihi kind of respects ougi as well from what we get in ougi dark (again light novels) so they have positive regard towards each other and lots of potential for a good friendship i think. what sticks out to me is that in ougi dark i imagine ougi is probably aware before she tries to ahem do a bit of trolling on tsukihi that its not going to be successful because araragi wont see her as anything but his sister. so suddenly it feels like way more of an intimate thing there where ougi is just sorta talkin about stuff before she (presumably in her mind at least) goes to her death. like that whole scene is so cool because ougis strategy for sort-of-not-really-exterminating-tsukihi is kinda partly criticizing her but more than that relating to her (as they both have the same kind of 'false identity') and opening herself up to her a bit... and besides like. the last episode of ougi dark lol, its the biggest moment of vulnerability we see ougi in (and she is willingly putting herself in it instead of being so mysterious as always), and its something that tsukihi also sees! (and doesnt rly know what to do with, which is also kinda interesting to me because shes such a self assured person) and that feels like it could lead to smth really interesting later. and in that scene it really does feel like theyre just kinda enjoying each others company esp on the bike, its calm and quiet and relaxed. i feel like after ougi has separated from araragi some more is when they could have a really nice friendship with tsukihi. back to their dynamics, i think it would sometimes be just very lowkey like in ougi dark which seems rather uncommon for someone like tsukihi, like ougi would bring up interesting topics of discussions and they'd have little mini debates about it that would really be more like chill discussions and itd be nice. and then other times it would be like tsukihi is screaming and all and dragging ougi somewhere to do something with her lol. they have a nice understanding between them..... ah i love it sm. and not to mention they are both so good at fucking up peoples lives it'd be a bonding point b/w them tbh.

UGH SEE THIS IS THE SORT OF THING NISIOISIN SHOULD BE WRITING WHATS HE DOING??? "OUGI IS A SIDE CHARACTER" MY ASS THEYRE ONLY A SIDE CHARACTER BC YOURE MAKING THEM BE THAT WAY GIVE THEM MORE CAMEOS DAMNIT AGH BEING RELEGATED TO THE SIDE DOESNT HAVE TO BE THE END ALL BE ALL SMH SMH........ at least i can write fanfiction instead

thank you for this ask highlight of my day dropped everything to answer it

#fwends....#oshino ougi #ougiposting #monogatari #araragi tsukihi #hachikuji mayoi #kanbaru suruga #sengoku nadeko #ononoki yotsugi #araragi koyomi

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sadistpet · 4 months

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(( ok, i saw you post a portrayal meme i think and i just wanted to drop in there for a quick minute and do a thing; I AM SORRY IF THIS MAKES LITTLE SENSE I AM SO SLEEPY

oh my lord, where did you come from? like, you appeared one day and the volgin inside me was like 'AY OOP U WOT' and dont get me wrong i need to get on volgin and let these men make love but shhh enough of that a minnie while i talk some waffle;

firstly, your writing is. MWAH. the goOD CUSH. the best cush even? i've seen you talk of your education and like, in my opinion, it goes beyond that. like, i read your writing and im just- i feel as though i should get a hot cup of cocoa and snug up as if i'm reading a book. you're articulate and your words are beautifully written. im no critic by any means (high school level BAYBEEEE) but i can tell you now that when i read your writing, i'm simply blown away by how incredible it is. you can see the passion in your words, the way you describe things, people, places, etc. it's like seeing someone paint a beautiful picture - but with words! (if that makes sense???)

as for your portrayal; THANK YOU SO MUCH. seriously, thank you for showing us raikov. thank you for giving him more than just 'the pretty boy comic relief lover of big scary man'. you've given him so much more, while staying canon, respecting canon and doing canon justice. i think if kojima saw the way that you write raikov, he would give it his blessing because you truly do such a magical job with the character. i always say to people who are passionate about their characters that i love that, i admire it. it excites me seeing writers clearly in love with what they're writing and i always get that vibe from you. and AND as one side character writer to another, straight up solidarity with you, my friend. keep doing a wonderful job (i know u will).

fINALLY cause i have WAFFLED MASSIVELY, you - are so wonderful. seriously, always supportive, always sweet, always kind. i want to pat your head and show u to everyone like that one will smith meme. you're fab and i am SO so glad that we're moot moots. thank you for being so fabulous, i'd tell you to keep being amazing but i know that you will. <3 ))

OH MY GODDDDDS HAN YOU ARE SO SWEET ( CRUSHES YOU AFFECTIONATELY LIKE WHEN RAIDEN DOES IT WITH A SPINE ) YOU ARE LITERALLY SO SWEET IM THROWING UP SCREAMING CRYING

to answer your question of where i came from i was in fact delivered to this world in a very small little basket with pink bows on it and an atomic bomb in my hands. and i found out about raikov because my beloved showed me mgs2 and he loves raiden ( me too ) and raikov is obviously linked on his page and something about him just made me keep coming back. maybe because i am also blonde haired blue eyed love eating whiny mean and annoying. but something about him i just needed to write. i love love love taking neglected characters and doing a 2000s makeover to make them into an actual Character and he was a perfect candidate !

and then i nailed down this url and i just HAD to make this blog ESPECIALLY WHEN I SAW THAT YOUR BLOG EXISTED. OH MY GOD. i was like no now i need to theres a fucking stellar writer here writing volgin. i need to throw raikov at them with all the strength of a baseball pitcher or whatever theyre called idk baseball terms BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE. part of the reason this blog exists is literally because of yours. SO YOU HAVE YOURSELF TO THANK

YOURE SO SWEET since i developed cfs/me in my mid-late teens ive felt my writing has kinda. gone downhill. so it makes me so happy to hear that people are still enjoying what i'm doing ;o; YOU ARE SO SWEET I AM SO GLAD I DIDNT LET THE AVPD WIN AND STOP ME FROM MAKING THIS BLOG CAUSE AUGH. AUGH. everyone intimidated me so much but youre all so so sweet and nice to me i fucking baheem sob sob THANK U SO MUCH. GRABS YOU

#SCREAMS ALL THE TIME FOREVER. SCREAMS. FROWS UP #SAVE #g: ¦ ❝ ooc. ❞#g: ¦ ❝ answered. ❞

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mamapilled · 1 year

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mother nonsenses 1.0

was part of the manifesto. (but not anymore?) though these are just random ideas in my notebook that i havent yet found a way to fully write sth decent with. though the evidences are all there. here just for archive, none of these really mean anything. except the last bullet point? but it also doesnt mean anything

- [this was one of my replies when heilhades333 and i was talking abt my ageswap luther and her matriarch nature. then somehow it snowballed into ranfren chi no wadachi?] i think as far as where the series is currently at, randal's still far too young for luther to consider anything about him having a family of his own or even a partner. at this life stage he is still under luther's care, and therefore, a part of luther's family. i see luther as the highest queen of her own beehive, so she wouldnt want randal to eventually have his own family (though, as the "ivory heir", maybe that day will come. if they can grow old that is). luther's way of building a family is more of collecting "family members" - what she'd like to call them, rather than building branches. i dont think she would mind if randal gets a partner as long as they'd submit to become a part of her family (like how she got sebastian as a pet for randal) maybe only when said partner wanted to pull randal away we'd have a problem (satoru. though its mostly bc she wanted to go camping with her family and also blueberry pancakes)

^ i kNOW the mother here is referring to the mother/earthbound franchise. but this is my domain and i can say whatever i want

- [purely delusional. hello hitchther nation?] in my beautiful mind theres this specific what-if situation luther is the queen bee, the hitchhikers are the drones, randal is the queen-to-bee (haha get it) while the catmen and like, nana carpet seb and the rest are worker bees. the drones' only purposes is to mate with the queen (only the fittest ones get this honor) and they'll die in the act but they're happy doing so ^^; this is just me fumbling the hitch hikers’ role theres nothing more to this really, lol

- [i’m still marinating this thing with nou but its going to be mother manifesto 2.0 when i finally know how to verbalize it. wonder when that is... the following paragraphs are choppy and rough bc theyre mostly texts i sent to nou at 12am] AGAIN IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER PLEASE EXCUSE ALL THE... IDK VERBS FORMS ERRORS I DONT KNOW! WHAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!

i know luther is the emperor tarot card (totally agree. shes also the empress TO ME. because im me of course) but then nou told me about her being the sun while randal is the moon and. huh. that kinda caught me off guard because the sun is supposed to represent. well? good omen and all the nicest things in the world. huh. everytime i think too much abt this i’d get super emotional (im getting emotional Right Now. thats why i dont think i can fully articulate this 2.0 manifesto any time soon) bc yknow. according to a normal regular person’s standard, luther is far from “good”, but also cap did write that luther “believes hes a nice person but is working on it” (not the exact quote but you get it)

something about her trying to be a good person though she probably would never be one but still in her cynical little mind hes being sweet and loving and Good. and not doing whatever she "in the past" has done. bunch of references to "the past" are mostly if not all abt how horrible and terrible and scary she was and how she keeps saying shes not like that anymore though we arent sure how much of it is true bc shes fucked in the head to oblivion. its the thoughts that count i guess?

these are probably all related to luther giving birth to randal (in my head) since ARHGHGH idk!!!!!! i'd imagine this was her before having him (or at least, when she just had him for a few? years? decades?) and then until she had to raise randal and realized he needs to grow into a decent person and started that fucked up roleplay spiral game of her she goes out less and less and trying to be a perfectly normal loving human and a caretaker of this made up family and stopped doing whatever the fuck she was doing when she was still a young maiden terrorizing canada’s deepest forest suburban hell

since randal is like. THE ivory heir to me too he'll take over one day its like now shes just being a mom and making sure hes ready to be it. one day (that day might never come once again she loves making shits up in her head saying stuff no one can fucking understand. cynical woman) and also making sure everything around him is ready for his growth and also being a good role model for him. yadda yadda. not to mention randal keeps talking abt how shes not like before / this body isnt what it used to before as if they both know shes fucking aging (old) and having randal is what she wanted in life like how parents after having children just want to devote their entire life to give their children the best upbringing bc their time is ending soon its time for the next generation. THIS IS ALSO PURELY DELUSIONAL SORRY

whatever im rereading camping arc again (i do this every night) what can i say i love female hysteria and getting the horrors abt luther von ivory slowly descending into insanity

#mother manifesto

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thoughts-and-gayers · 1 year

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ive been thinking about civil rights recently, specifically trans rights, as thats a marginalized group im a part of thats actively being hurt. i see people talking about the awful things done to trans people, the hate speech, the bills signed into law that make it dangerous for us to even exist. its terrifying to me, to think that im going to be leaving high school and entering a world that actively wants to kill me.

i just watched jessie gender's multi-hour video on jk rowling, and it articulated so many of my thoughts about transness in our. current society that i had no idea how to say. one thing she emphasized was how talking about these specific people, these little one-off incidents, is counterproductive. obviously things like hogwarts legacy and "what is a woman" matter, but should we really be talking about them as much as we are when anti-trans bills are passed faster than we can keep track of?

the way our society is right now, short and snappy thoughts about those tiny 24 hour stories are the only thing that gets attention. when you talk about trans rights, youre saying "dont support harry potter", youre not saying "stop the us government from actively hurting trans people".

but people dont listen when you talk about the big stuff. talking about the latest drama is much more entertaining than talking about the actual horrors that people are facing. we're at a point where we can call pointing and laughing at bigots a form of activism.

its so much easier not to learn about the deeper issues. for non-marginalized folk especially, supporting the marginalized celebrity is a lot easier than addressing systematic issues. but we dont get that privilege. we have to go to bat for the big shit, with or without allies. we dont get the luxury, the privilege, of not taking the time to understand and address bigotry and its sources.

im so tired. its exhausting even just learning about everything thats happening. and im not out of high school yet, so theres not a lot i can actually do out there. im trying to learn everything i can about everything thats happening, and its just so exhausting, all the time. on top of that, i also spend my energy on educating other people, trying to get them to understand what's taken me hours of work to get to myself.

and as a white person, i cant even imagine how much harder it must be for POC, especially when they exist at intersections of queerness, womanhood, disability, and/or more. im trying my best to learn about specific struggles that don't necessarily apply to me, but theres so much that a lot of the time i dont even know where to start.

cis, straight, male, white, abled, allo; people who fall under these dont have an obligation to learn about any marginalized group theyre not a part of, especially if theyre not a part of any of them. but they can still go online and say "fuck celebrity x" and get lauded as the pinnacle of allyship. they can make short, snappy, performative displays of their helpfulness without putting in any of the work to actually help. they have the privilege to do so. i as a white person have the privilege to do so, even if i try not to.

im so scared to go out into the world after i graduate and face all these inequalities, to try and deal with the horrors that high school and the internet have only been a small taste of. the most i can do is learn as much as i can before then, but i lose the motivation to every day when theres so little i can do to help; when the people who can help choose to do nothing anyway.

and this post, the closest thing my hungover ass can get to an in-depth analysis, likely wont get any attention at all. its not short, its not snappy, its not entertaining. its just a teenage nonbinary lesbian ranting about existential dread for way longer than he probably should have. and no, this isnt me begging for a reblog otherwise youre a bad person. saying stuff like that doesnt help anyway, since people would just snuff it out of spite instead of looking at the overall message. its just the way things are, not just here but everywhere.

im just so scared, and tired, and sad, and angry, all the fucking time.

#marie long posts #trans rights #civil rights #activism #queer rights #trans #hogwarts legacy #jessie gender #transphobia #bigotry

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gayspock · 1 year

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ok some thoughts

ok i do have complicated feelings on nat's death. firstly like air this one out rq: real fucking fuming that some ppl serioussllyyyyy are attacking freaking juliette for it, like? ok.... so your response to "its really fucked up that they killed nat who had finally found peace and was starting to overcome her addiction etc." was to attack the actress who has every right to leave a job if she wants to. i guess in other news 1+1=4.

but anyways sigh i have mixed feelings like.... i think theres a Part of me that kind of. ok. super unpopular opinion bc i know this ME & my own cyncism and "issues" or whatever & kinda shy to say this both bc it makes me look edgy as fuck but also like.... idk as someone whos had mental health problems, lets say, and has sort of resigned to this idea of like. oh i died a long time ago & theres a point in my life where i just think i stayed , and i dont think theres any way of going back, something something about living on borrowed time and it feeling meaningless . or whatever. stares at you pretend i didnt say all that. my point is i dont know i kind of- its bc i dont wannaaaa say ppl cant recover, that natalie was too far gone, this that and the other, bc i dont think you can make those judgements abt others (fictional or not) only yourself but... idk my point is. i fuckin get it when shes on the plane like that, as shes dying or just dying when she felt like she should have bc ever since its just been fucking horrible and well okay. sorry man i do kinda feel it even though i acknowledge its a shitty message.

i dont think it helps either that her "recovery arc" wadnt my favourite not bc i like. AGAIN im not saying this bc i dont think you can recover or get better its more like.. i was never a fan of the execution of it. i felt like it happened a bit too fast, and i would have preferred more scenes with natalie and lottie rather than natalie and lisa and natalie and the rest of the cult and i feel like that would have been more powerful to me bc the cult themselves feel kind of just... underdeveloped, and very much functional as a means for lottie and whats going on with her . i fully expect them to never be mentioned again after some point and to be completely ignored with the way this show has been going

and like i dont mind lisa that much but i dont now im kinda uninterested in characters that just get introduced and we immediately get SO much focus on them when theres, as i said , other more interesting and efficient ways to explore similar things (natalie and lottie a better dynamic for example) AND other stuff thats getting ignored big time.

like as an aside. i dont mind lisa as much BUT one example is also fucking walter and i dont like how theyre using him to kinda reduce misty to a bit of a joke AND cheap out on her own development (i think she can carry fine on her fucking own without him) but also bc he takes up so much runtime with his goofy little bits that just dont do it for me when again we're missing other shit from, like, FUCKING SIMONE FOR EXAMPLE whos barely been mentioned which is crazy. actually crazy. that she has barely been mentioned and tai's whole storyline has been ignored like that

but anyway even with lisa, i dont know- the whole thing with going to se her family, ugh... call me a jaded asshole, but like it just felt so. unsubtle. with the waythat whole scene was kinda executed. is that a cunt thing to say. but i dont know theres also other parts of the cult i just cant fuckin vibe with- i just feel like its so... clumsily done at times, and i cant quite articulate why i think that.

anyways . i get why a lot of ppl dont like natalies death in the end bc yeah it is kinda... a shitty message to send, even if i do kinda feel like well yeah damn yeah you know. but like also i do think theres the other obvious issue of like... with the way this show is, and as good as it is, i feel like theres gonna be more problems that develop and exacerbate over time. i really feel like they needed to introduce more characters earlier on and/or reveal less in present day bc whilst i dont think the tension is everything , and i dont think the shock value of ppl being hunted/dying in the past timeline is everything i do think its gonna have effects on the present time line and them trying to compensate. nd anyway now theyre just gonna do shit like try to tragically kill the women in the present vis a vis nat for like kinda no reason imo bc i do think it was . ultimately such a weird fucking way for her to die and to end even if i did resonate with her dying scene

and i do think there IS some bite that kinda being lost and its a bit weird when they write themselves into holes and have to try and flesh out new characters in the past that we know are just gonna straight up die so soon. a

its why i also didnt really like the idea of krystal. fuck i dont like the idea of krystal and walter being introduced to have a rapport with misty and i think thats just bc i LIKED her being alone . i liked no one fucking liking her. maybe its bc i projected too hard, but also its just like... i dont know it feels so fucking WEIRD that misty has had 0 friends and then she incidentally only just realises that some girl on the soccer team shes been orbitting for forever is like her type of weird and whatever whatever bah bah bah LIKE... theyre clearly trying to spin stuff for her to do, the same with the inclusion of walter, and its like. i dont know again in MY opinion and maybe its my fault for both projecting and setting an expectation but... i think a much more interesting thing to explore would be ownership of herself and her own fucking weirdness and being able to do that alone without needing the validAation of the others . am i crazy. like again i keep thinking abt her in the future and her and walt and ugh how much more i would love it if it was her fighting by herself to try and get natalie out of there. YES its harder to execute in a tv show but i do think it owuld be so much more interesting than taking the . in my opinion lazier route of just sticking in other characters to use to give her storylines

anyway what else was i gonna say fuck this was meant to be about natalie yeah like. thats also what im kinda mad at and why i dont like the inclusion of the extras like walter and lisa, like... i thinkits so much stronger when its just focussing on the dynamics of the girls (and their established ties, from the beginning of s1, i.e callie or simone, etc.) and i think mistys arc this season would have been better if it was a focus on her and nat, even if it was totally onesided rather than fucking walter and

ok im done can i also say. cant wait for shauna to ascend to antler queen in the current timeline. let her go fucking insane i say

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog

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