#THEYRE JUST DORKS IT WAS SO FUNNY

[3416]

thinking about how mitch and auston both have tattoos on their upper right arms to symbolize their family and the family crests.................

totally feeling normal every time i remember that

[greghatecrimes]

chris “i would like to buy some cocaine, please” taub and thirteen “i’m just a bitch who knows what she wants” hadley, everybody

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I was just rewatching an old Ranboo and Technoblade VOD from way back just after Doomsday, and I don't think it is possible for anything to be funnier than Technoblade and Ranboo both mutually turning into bundles of social anxiety and dancing around each other

[timothylawrence]

and by far the rarest thing to ever grace faerun, something that even the emperor brain and withers couldn't predict....

rana and gale hug :)

[goldiipond]

HARVEST MOON??? omg you just unlocked a memory from like, a decade ago. I used to be obsessed w the animal parade characters

YEEEEAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only game in the series ive played is tale of two towns i was obsessed with it as a kid. it was really nice to come back to, all the characters are so fun and charming and it brought back a lot of memories <3

[haveihitanerve]

when you type "i love" into the search bar and the next word your phone suggests is 'himbos'

[holostarz]

my problem is i think most of p5s ships are cute and thats why i almost always am down for some form of polythieves

usually i just lump all the guys together cause all those ships are just so good to me??? and i mean like, every combination of them, even without ren. ill ship ryuji and yusuke. and i also love goro with either of them. ryugoro and akekita are so rare but theyre so nice?? they all just. clenches fists. theyre so good ot4 pegoryugorokita

goroann besties is real in my heart. also goroharu being like the Cursed besties ever in the end like. my god they have such a wack and unhinged platonic soulmates/kindred spirits potential. goromako rivals forever my guy they are so fucking funny. and ryukoto is kinda cute...

i think shumako is nice but its just not my cuppa tea. they are dear friends and i do love the image of ren and makoto being a bit rivalcoded and butting heads over phantom thievery and how to lead the team best. and goro is weirdly the one who can actually somehow stop arguments before they happen and get them to compromise.

makoto is NOT the mom friend okay she is the bossy and protective older sister friend. and she is smart and sensible but not immune to her friends infecting her with Stupid. ren is the mom friend. and the dad friend. best of both things. :)

ren: its hard raising 8 kids when youre in high school and an 18 y/o whos like if a divorced widow was a boy 😔 sojiro: what happened to your husband??? ren: he was lost at sea goro: ren, look at this dog i saw on my way here ren: i can still hear his voice

meanwhile i love futago half siblings headcanon. so while goro and makoto are a little more sibling rivalry coded, futaba is still goros actual gremlin sibling who will bully him to death. meanwhile, futaba is actually adoptive siblings with ren. these two are WAY more sibling coded than goro and futaba ever.

and when futaba starts trying to do similar Sibling dynamic things with goro. goro is like ??? "ren, futaba just came in here. stared at me. burped. and then left. what does this mean." and ren is like. "oh is there food? theyre probably telling you theres food and to come out if you want some. or if this is your first time seeing them today they could just be greeting you." and goro is like ????? but louder this time

i love shujin trio poly... and i default to them being the OG Cule. shuann? v cute love them. ryuann? also cute and honestly v funny of how messy i imagine their hookups being. like they keep breaking up and eventually finding their way back to each other. sometimes i see them as sibling coded, too, more than anything else. overall i just love these three together they are the tomodachis of all time they are partners for life

i also love ryuharu. and harukita (yuharu?) theyre really cute.... then theres good ol makoharu and annmako (makoann?) and i love them too... honestly love hifumi and makoto too?? i think they would be huge fucking dorks together... perhaps.... rivals, even?

goro and hifumi being friends... good shit. hifumi and yusuke being close friends? plz... and ren and hifumi are just. wahh i love them theyre so good. even futaba and hifumi could be cute, honestly.... wtf

and we cannot forget ANNSHIHO,,, forever. my GORLS.... lesbiabs of my heart.

anntaba is a rare one but theyre also v cute to me... and if they arent girlfriends i love the idea of futaba having a crush on her and then realizing those feelings are actually just Admiration and Gender envy. i also love the idea of morgana finding out his crush on ann is ALSO GENDER ENVY RELATED.... we love nonbiney morgana. hope is genderless

ren: my CAT IS TRANS!? NOT CLICKBAIT?

and makoto is always being an older sister to futaba. yutaba is nice, too. i honestly see futaba and yusuke being aspec and theyre platonic soulmates and in a qpp. and ofc sumitaba my beloved... i love sumitaba a lot

i adore ryusumi too like oh myg od,,.. wahh.... the sweeties. sumikita is so rare but like. i think they could be kinda cute too?? sumigoro is V platonic soulmates to me like my god theyre so. clenches fist. honestly whole royal trio tbh is just. "they can make each other worse" and each of them thinking "thank god im the normal one here" thats it thats the whole dynamic. and its so funny.

shusumi is cute too but honestly i think i prefer both ren and goro have somethin of a platonic soulmates or older sibling dynamic with sumire. they have adopted her okay. sumiann isnt one i see a lot either but they.... THEM.....

any mishima ship is super funny imo but like, theyre cute. love yuuki having a crush on ren but like. the game makes it near impossible for you to actually be fucking nice to him so i always get the vibe that ren would rather keep him at a distance, even tho they appreciate him and care about him.

its okay tho cause i say hes good friends with the OG trio + shiho and they vibe. yuuki crushing on goro, to his own horror? hilarious. and weirdly enough shiho and ren?? idk what their acronym is. but. oh my god. theyre actually weirdly cute? but i see them having disaster twins energy. theyre absolute menaces.

[rel312]

I HAD NO IDEA SEASON 2 CAME OUT ALREADY SO NOW IM GOING TO SCREAM ABOUT IT

Episode 1:

CROWLEY WANTED TO TAKE AZIRAPHALE BACK TO THE PLACE THEY FIRST MET

CROWLEY PROTECTED AZIRAPHALE FIRST IM SCREAMING

(My brother actually came into my room to tell me to shut up)

Of course Aziraphale would just forgive 8 months rent

Lmao Gabriel’s just walking down the street ass naked

Gabriel just hugged Aziraphale I can’t

“James. Long for Jim, short for Gabriel”

Crowley knows Aziraphale so well, but poor guy he only calls him for 3 reasons

Poor Crowley is trying so hard not to freak out about the “naked man friend”

The conversation between Crowley and Jim I can’t

Maggie and Nina are trapped together!!

Michael and Uriel are fighting let’s gooo

Crowley just casually let the girls out lmao

THERES AN I WAS WRONG DANCE OH MY GOD

THEYRE PERFORMING A MIRACLE TOGETHER

Aaaaaand of course it goes immediately wrong

Episode 2:

Gabriel’s wig is atrocious

IS AZIRAPHALE GOING TO BE THE SUPREME ARCHANGEL NOW

A jukebox that turns every song into Everyday like the Bentley with Queen, hmmm….

Crowley looks like a doting partner bringing his husband a drink

“Get humans wet and staring into each other’s eyes, vavoom, sorted” sir… are you telling me that’s what did it for you???

Crowley’s so confounded that Jane Austen wrote books

THE VOICE OF GOD???

HE TURNED ALL THE GOATS INTO BIRDS

Crowley scaring the kids cause they were brats but not actually killing them aww

The little girl asking to be a blue lizard with her siblings she’s so cute

CROWLEY TAUGHT AZIRAPHALE TO EAT

I cannot believe Aziraphale was the first to talk about sides I love them

Crowley and Aziraphale working together for the first time to save the kids

Aziraphale looks so shaken to have lied poor baby

Crowley babe he’s begging for you to drive him

“Our car” you can’t take it that far lol

Poor Aziraphale really thought he was gonna fall he was about to cry

Crowley was so soft in that last scene

Episode 3:

Jim’s stuff is all labeled

Aziraphale looks like a proud father to Muriel

Crowley’s moving the plants to use the car

They both look like parents I love them

Crowley brought Aziraphale to a cemetery because he thought it would amuse him, that is date behavior

Crowley is about to kill Aziraphale for changing his car

NESSIE?!?!

“Operation: Lovebirds” Crowley is such a dork

Aziraphale just is not getting anything lol

Crowley… shrunk himself??? And then grew himself????

Crowley tempted her to be good I love him

I love the very closed sign

Demons can’t enter somewhere uninvited???

He’s so angry Aziraphale might be hurt

Episode 4:

BEEBOP

“His type”????

“I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item” HOLY SHIT

HE CALLED CROWLEY HIS GOOD FRIEND AFTER THE CHURCH!!!

“This office has gone 13 5 0 days without anyone saying ‘THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED’”

Glad to see Aziraphale in his magic era

Crowley’s impression is hilarious

“Someone you can really trust” and his first thought is Crowley 🥹

Aziraphale has a gun and Crowley has never shot one

Crowley was shaking he was so scared and Aziraphale was so proud of his trick

Furfur not knowing how to pronounce Aziraphale lmao

Sleight of hand!

Look at them finding a middle ground in shades of grey!

Lmao Crowley would murder him if he knew Aziraphale didn’t put the brakes

Episode 5:

They’re talking about Doctor Who

Aziraphale’s giving books and Crowley’s playing with crystal balls, I love them

Aziraphale being bad at French is so funny to me

Nina grilling Crowley on his relationship with Aziraphale is everything

Crowley was confronted with his feelings and immediately went out to get a drink with Aziraphale

Crowley’s so mad go off king

The matchbox!

Aww look at Crowley denying he’s nice

The romantic music while Crowley looks at Aziraphale with the chandelier

Oh. My. GOD. Jim’s suit!

Lol that’s not what I was expecting when they said masks will be provided

AZIRAPHALE WANTS TO DANCE WITH CROWLEY

THEYRE DANCING!!!!!!

“Surrender the angle”

Gabriel’s coat!!

“T. O. S. T. E.”

“You’re a good lad” “not actually, either”

“Rescuing me makes him so happy” you can’t just say things like that and expect me to be normal about it

Episode 6:

Crowley’s just bouncing around in heaven

“I’m done with being scared” *flips them the bird*

Oh sweetie, you meant well but no

“Crowley’s emotional support angel” yes, yes that’s exactly what he is

Crowley’s little supportive punch to Muriel was so cute

AZIRAPHALES HALO?!?!

THE FLY

Gabriel x Beelzebub confirmed??

The fact that Gabriel and Beelzebub were able to sort this out in a few years while it’s taken Crowley and Aziraphale 6000 is insane

And the fact that Aziraphale grabbed Crowley’s arm when he realized that

Crowley’s so impressed with Aziraphale bringing everyone to order

Aziraphale’s face at Crowley talking about Alpha Centauri

Aziraphale looking at Crowley with so much love in his eyes is giving me life

THE METATRON?!?!

Aziraphale looking to Crowley for permission I can’t

Crowley knowing Aziraphale will come back and saying they need “a little us time” at the Ritz

Crowley getting antsy that Aziraphale’s not back yet

Nina taking inspiration from Crowley and calling Maggie angel my beloved

Crowley looks devastated that Aziraphale interrupted him

Aziraphale looks so incredibly happy at getting Crowley to be an angel again but there’s no way Crowley wants that

Crowley’s getting so emotional

“Just be an us” stooooopppppp

“I need you” I can’t take this!

Nightingales

THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!!

Aziraphale touched his lips after I’m dying

Aziraphale stop being so stupid and get him back

The- the second coming??

YOU CANNOT END IT HERE

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

Please tell me there will be a season 3 I can’t handle this

[mywifealhaitham]

various genshin valentine's headcanons ♡

⚠: mentions of a shotgun in mikas, lazy writing

a/n: I almost threw up and passed out in the process of writing this :3

albedo - ♡ • he draws you! he isn't experienced in gift giving or dates so he just goes with something he's familiar with • Klee stops by to give you two a drawing of all three of you holding hands and he hangs it up by his workplace smiling like the proud brother he is

alhaitham - ♡ • he gets you books he likes and commented on himself (DORK! NERD! LOSER! affectionate) every other page is a little note from him consisting of the meaning of this is actually... to this idiot reminds me of Kaveh, don't you agree? •he also takes you to a nice restaurant in sumeru and pays • like halfway through the date he forgot flowers and called up kaveh to buy them! he does not! and alhaitham makes him pay!

amber - ♡ • she got you your very own plushie! it matches with baron bunny and doesn't explode! • she takes you on a nice picnic where you two match outfits and feed eachother cake • she immediately gets home and writes to collei about everything while kicking her feet and twirling her hair

arataki Itto - ♡ • oh my god he gets you the largest bouquet of flowers ever like four members of the Arataki gang have to hold then Shinobu is deadpanning in the corner • with granny onis advice he also takes you on a picnic! unlike Amber's peaceful one yours is not! he makes the Arataki gang play instruments while Shinobu is dressed in a suit and is severing you two food

barbara - ♡ • she gets you two matching outfits! hers is baby blue and yours is light orange so it compliments eachother • she definitely sings you a love song behind the cathedral and you two giggle and dance and hold hands man I love barbara

beidou - ♡ • she gets you.... drunk! yep she's hosting a valentine's day party on the crux with plenty of drinks • after the wild party when you two are stumbling back to her room theyres some nice flowers laid out on the bed • she tries to woo you but passes out on you... I mean she tried!

bennett - ♡ • he got you some flowers but they withered away then he made you some sweets and accidentally mixed the salt and sugar! • he's very bummed for how everything turned out, he wanted this day too be accident free! • it's ok to make up for it you two walk around the town holding hands while you pray that the boxes that some people are carrying aren't gonna crush you and Bennett

candace - ♡ • she gets you a nice jeweled necklace! she carefully puts it on you and kisses your cheek • since the desert isn't the ideal place she keeps you inside we're you too spend quality time together • right before you go to bed she kisses you all over telling you how much she loves you

chongyun - ♡ • writing for characters I dont really know anything about is stressful sweats profusely • he probably gets you the standard flowers however for the date he takes you ghost hunting • by the end of day he's disappointed that he can't find any ghosts so you say that maybe they didn't want to ruin your date and now he's planning to go ghost hunting on a different day what have you done!

collei - ♡ • she gets you one of those valentine's cards you'd get for every kid in your elementary school class • it took her like 20 tries to perfect the card and when she did she threw it at you and ran • when she came home cyno and tighnari were sitting at a table with all the failed attempts of cards on said table. scariest thing collei has ever experienced

cyno - ♡ • he gets you a joke book to use on him. yes he fully expects you to pull out the book and start saying jokes like he does • he does get you flowers and brings you to a nice restaurant using his mass amounts of maha-mora (winks I'm so funny right winks again plz) • he told so many jokes that night you're just about done with his dorky mouth

diluc - ♡ • he gets you some nice jewelry this man is rich rich • he of course makes a candlelit dinner and sets up a table in the dawn winery fields • the maids fan over you both and start spreading rumors that you're gonna get married

diona (platonic) - ♡ • makes you your favorite non alcoholic drink. she'll MAYBE make you an alcoholic one but she'll spit in it • drags you to wind rise and forces you to make her a picnic. she'll violently rip flowers out of the ground and give them to you :3

eula - ♡ • she gets you the classic flowers and like necklace combo. the necklace is blue to remind you of her • she also took you to a restaurant and someone ruined your date by crashing into your table. she swore vengeance on the entire holiday of valentine's day

faruzan - ♡ • tbh I dont know shit about her • she makes you get her gifts and flowers. she also makes you pay for everything because she is a poor unfortunate lady boohoo • she wears one of those hot dresses so it's worth it

fischl - ♡ • forces diluc to decorate the patio of the dawn winery in purple fairy lights and asks his maids to cook something for you two • dilucs like erm ok I guess he's so lost and taken aback. also she got Oz to make hearts in the sky for you :3 • fischl gets you matching bracelets she made herself please wear it everyday or she will sob

ganyu - ♡ • she gets you flowers right as she sees you because she will accidentally eat them • gets Ningguang to let her use a nice part of the jade chamber for a nice date • at the end of the day you make her nap because SHE NEEDS IT! so hardworking! so smart! what a girl!

gorou - ♡ • he is so nervous the entire day... he tries to swoon you but embarrasses himself badly • he gets you a sentimental gift like a painting of your first date area or something! • you made him dog treats as a joke. he devoured them. what a day!

hu tao - ♡ • you woke up and she SMOTHERED you in kisses and hugs, if you didn't know any better you'd think she wanted you to be her next client • she planned the entire day and it's very sweet and cute. she takes you shopping then walks around liyue hand in hand with you. she kisses your hand at the end of the day saying that she'll stick with you through life and death

jean - ♡ • another hardworker that takes off the day for you! she prepares a nice candlelit dinner like half the cast 😊 • she gets you a necklace and while she puts it around you she swears to be your knight forever then kisses your neck

kaedehara kazuha - ♡ • in the morning he wakes you up with the sweetest of kisses then reads you some poems • beidou insists on having him bring you along to the crux annual valentine's day party but he says he just wants to spend time with you • he has you lay on his lap while the sun sets while he strokes his hair and declares his love for you (kazuha HIT MY LINE)

kaeya - ♡ • gets you an expensive wine he bought off of diluc, it's in your favorite flavor and everything • he takes you to starsnatch cliff and tells you stories he's heard about the stars, most of them are from the long forgotten parts of his childhood • kaeya actually didn't buy the wine bottle he got venti to steal it so your lucky if diluc doesn't doesn't marching towards you looking angry!

kamisato ayaka - ♡ • she gets you a matching fan! she thinks it both brings out your beauty and cools you off during hotter days • she then takes you shopping around inazuma, everything is on her! • when your both almost ready for bed she'll insists on doing a small waltz with you in your bedroom

kamisato ayato - ♡ • he takes the whole day off surprisingly • normally he doesn't spend alot of time with you because he's very busy but today all his attention is on you • overall you two just chat about everything ranging from politics to what crime did itto commit this week over some nice thoma cooked food

keqing - ♡ • another hardworking women we love to see it • keqing is very classy and also rents out a small spot on the jade chamber for you both • she gets you a bracelet and a Rex lapis Keychain. she does not look you in the eye when your excited about it

klee (platonic)- ♡ • when she was in confinement jean made her make valentine's for all her friends in mondstat! she put her heart into all of them, yours especially • she hands you the card in which she drew you two playing with bombs along with a heart shaped lollipop • she also did the cute little leg hug thing and said happy valentine's day best sibling ever (I LOVE LITTLE KIDS THEYRE SO ADORABLE!!!)

kujou sara - ♡ • she gets you some hand picked flowers! • since crime never stops she unfortunately has to leave for the day, but she sends you off with a kiss • when she gets home you run her a nice bath and massage her tense shoulders

kuki shinobu - ♡ • the worst idea of her entire life was telling itto about her date • he insisted in helping her by adding a special arataki touch to the day • by arataki touch he means the arataki gang scaring off everyone at the restaurant and playing horrible music • she apologized so much at home but you just kissed her and said the best part of the day was her !! (itto thought he did so good and starting advertising a entertainment service....)

layla - ♡ • when you went to sleep the night before she was still working so you didn't know what she was doing while you slept • she promised herself not to work and take a break for once! she just wanted to snuggle you • before she went to bed she put some fresh flowers in a vase next to your bed with a note

lisa - ♡ • she set up a little table in the library with some fresh flowers and a basket of fruit and sweets • her gift to you was some of her favorite books which she reads to you! • she's a bit lazy so she rather do some of her favorite activities than deal with the hussle and bussle of mondstat couples

mona - ♡ • she takes you stargazing for sure! she tells you about every star you point out • seeing you so interested in the stars so much she gets you a telescope! • as you look at planets in the sky and gasp them, she only smiles softly at you knowing the money she spent was worth it

nahida (platonic) - ♡ • she's so hyped because one of her first real valentine's day! with her bestfriend! • she hand picks some flowers for you then knocks at your door • it's early in the morning but when this sweet child is at your door with some flowers and the brightest smile ever you can't really complain

nilou - ♡ • she dedicates a whole dance to you! it's a lengthy dance and she's elegant with the whole process • afterward she tells you how much you mean to her then extends her hand because her gift to you is the art of dance! • she holds you tight as you two dance the night away

ningguang - ♡ • gets you the most elegant clothes pieces ever, like your even afraid of wearing them incase a stitch snaps • surprisingly she's humble with her date spot, preferring a nice field instead of a five star restaurant • she picks a beautiful glaze lily for you and puts it behind your ear

noelle - ♡ • she makes you a whole meal • at first the meal was only for you but you insisted that she take a break and eat with you. she took the offer and got to know you better

qiqi (platonic)- ♡ • she probably forgot all about valentine's day so baizhu had to remind her • she probably just made you a quick card and picked some silk flowers for you • she also took you to her favorite napping spot for a nice nap !! you deserve it and don't worry qiqi will be your litte guardian

raiden shogun - ♡ • miss ei has experienced alot of valentine's days but actually never had a date for herself • miko would sometimes get her some flowers as a thanks for being my friend but other than that her knowledge is limited • so she gets you a nice bouquet and takes you on a walk around inazuma • she shares stories of the land while you two walk into dusk

razor - ♡ • another person who probably doesn't know what valentine's day is • bennett and fischl told him all about it and he was intrigued • he picks you some fruit and some lamp grass • he spends the whole day with you!

rosaria - ♡ • she probably just takes you to angels share and let's you get whatever you want, it's on her • on the walk she'll put a stray flower that fell out of someone's bouquet into your hair while giving you a kiss on the cheek, a silent vow to protect you forever

sangonomiya kokomi - ♡ • she sets up a seaside table with some delicious looking food she made herself • headcanon but autistic Kokomi and her special intrests are war strategies and sealife • she'll take you on a walk and excitedly point at all the small creatures, spitting facts about them left and right

sayu (platonic)- ♡ • she doesn't really care for lovely dovey stuff and probably gets annoyed at all the pinks and reds around inazuma • however she does get you a small plush and some flowers she picked, afterwards though she immediately goes to sleep

shenhe - ♡ • ever since you became her s/o cloud retainer has been going on and on about couple stuff • a topic that came up was valentine's day, so cloud retainer suggested doing some of her favorite activities together • however most of shenhes favorite activities are either training or meditation so if your fine with that then good for you!

shikanoin heizou - ♡ • when you wake up he's missing and the only thing left behind is a note and a map with some things circled • you followed the map and soon found out every circled point had some gift for you awaiting patiently • eventually when you reach the end heizou is waiting for you with a nice dinner

sucrose - ♡ • she makes you some sort of artifical flower with albedos help! • she also makes you help her on her lab and when you pour a certain chemical in it makes a heart • that's the boldest you'll ever see her

tartaglia - ♡ • childe always used to buy a big stuff animal and flowers for his siblings for valentine's day, but now he has you to spoil! • you wake up and turn to silence your alarm clock and there's like a huge vase full of flowers • you find alot of gifts scattered around the house, all signed with a love, ajax ♡

thoma - ♡ • he's so excited!! he's such a dork for cheesy days like valentine's day! • he's stuck between just being himself or being romantic, in the end he chooses being himself • being himself means a nice walk stopping to feed all the stray animals and a nice warm home-cooked dinner later in the day

tighnari - ♡ • deep in my bones I feel like he just doesn't care about valentine's day at all • he'll pick you some special flowers he's been growing himself for months just for today but like he doesn't careee • he'll be nicer to you when he gives you your gift of a jar of herbs that can help cure alot of things... but he says he doesn't caree... suree....

venti (platonic) - ♡ • you never really cared for valentine's day nor did your mischievous little friend so you both decided to cause chaos • chaos as in stealing some wine from diluc and fake argue out loud to ruin couples dates • at the end of the day he takes you to windrise were he makes a toast to your long lasting friendship

wanderer - ♡ • valentine's day?? love?? affection?? EWWW thumbs DOWN!! • ^ he proceeded to say but you don't fail to notice that he's a bit more affectionate today hmm.... • he doesn't get you alot because he has to keep up his eww valentine's day persona however if you pass something you like he might buy it.... just maybe...

xiangling - ♡ • she makes you food duhh! she knows exactly what you likes so she incorporates your favorite flavors into new recipes • she makes guoba wear a little suit while severing you two the meals she made • she spoon feeds you and gets super excited when you like her cooking!!

xiao - ♡ • another eww valentine's day guy but alot mode toned down.. • he just... doesn't care at all. but for you he'll try • he makes you a plate of almond tofu along with a small bunch of flowers, he's so embarrassed he kinda just teleports away

xingqiu - ♡ • he plans an adventure for the both of you! he'll lead you through monsters and almost dangerous path, but do not fret he is here to protect his leige from all harm! • the real date area is a old swinging bench he found awhile back! it's not the most scenic but it's the thought that counts • he brings a book you both enjoy so he can read for you (aww how cute now come home c6 Xingqiu.)

xinyan - ♡ • probably gets xiangling to make you guys your favorite food! you two eat and happily chat away • afterwards she takes you to the shore were she plays a softer love song on her guitar

yae miko - ♡ • she's extra flirty today. normally she's sly and makes you flustered but today she gets real bold • she takes you to a nice restaurant and gives you your gift, which is a novel she likes • before you two part ways she gives you a big kiss

yanfei - ♡ • because I'm tired she probably just takes you on a nice outing, occasionally telling you about intresting court cases she had recently • madame ping saw you two holding hands and immediately went elderly grandma mode and asked thousands of questions

yaoyao (platonic) - ♡ • like faruzan I don't know much about her • probably made little valentine's day cards for her favorite people in liyue with includes you! • she also got you a hearted shaped lollipop

yelan - ♡ • like Sara she also is busy because sadly crime doesn't stop for valentine's day • however she does send flowers and chocolates to your workplace along with a note saying she'll meet her later

yoimiya - ♡ • fireworks? fireworks!!! • she makes a ton of heart-shaped fireworks for you and all the other couples but mostly you • she excitedly points up at the sky when they finally go off, her eyes scanning your face to look for satisfaction

yun jin - ♡ • I also don't know much about her • she probably preforms an opera about love to the people of liyue and during the parts were she sings about couples kissing and giving gifts she always winks at you in the crowd

zhongli - ♡ • this old soul probably does the classic candlelit dinner and some sort of jewelry gift • he's been alive for so long so this valentine's day means alot for him • after all, he's chosen you hundreds of times

dainsleif - ♡ • he also doesn't care for valentine's day alot, after all he's been alone for so long • on the actual day he takes you to an open field where the breeze is just right and the sky is clear • here he points out constellations he recognizes and tells you stories about them that should be long forgotten to time

kaveh - ♡ • one word: dramatic • probably steals alhaithams credit card and buys you the most beautiful flowers and the most elegant clothing ! • he takes you to an expensive restaurant were as you two eat he tells you all the latest gossip along with how much he loves you

mika - ♡ • he gives you a free assassination ticket with the biggest grin on his face • you're like what and he pulls out a shotgun still smiling • plz point to someone you hate and run • fandom mika is so funny never change him

[spacehostilityy]

rewatching the OVAs (netflix s2)

low key one of my fave intros art wise (we all know howling by granrodeo is my fave intro song lol) like the suits !! are so !! cute!!!

and this frame is adorable !!

I love the search for hawk sm theyre all so fucking cute

Meliodas casually dropping “you are my purpose in life” to Elizabeth like a month after they met is INSANE. Bc from his side, makes sense. Fell in love when they were young from opposite sides of a war, risked everything to be together, have been finding and losing each other for 3000 years. But from her side, he is a cool guy she has a crush on (who is at least 15ish years older than her) who she might have known as a child. He also just described her as his entire life’s purpose. Like bro THATS CRAZYYY

Seeing Meliodas destroy the horn of cernunos is such a badass moment to me. The way he responds to her taunting with direct action and violence rather than his usual merciful beating around the bush. My favorite Mel moments are when he is using his silly goofy little guy façade and suddenly has to drop it. This is when we see a glimpse of who he was when leading the 10 commandments: arrogant, powerful, and constantly full of rage

it just so happens that arrogant, powerful, and constantly full of rage are my most prized qualities in any character

WAIT HOLY SHIT IS THE “HEINOUS SIN” MELIODAS IS CONSIDERING THAT THE GODDESS SAYS WILL DRIVE EVERYONE HE LOVES AWAY REFERRING TO HIS PLAN TO BECOME THE DEMON KING ?!?!?!?

THAT WOULD MAKE SO MUCH SENSE AND ADDS LOWKEY A TON CHARACTER MOTIVATION TO EVERYTHING ELSE MEL DOES FROM HERE ON OUT

maybe everyone knew this and im late to the game but damn that would be so cool

im pretty sure ban switches out his red leather for the long burgundy coat is bc he keeps getting stabbed front to back and the coat has a hole in the back so the weapon wont tear it lolll😭

i feel like their faces (esp meliodas’s) look a tiny bit janky in the OVAs

once again appreciating the intro 😌

They’re so fucking cute !!

Merlin and Ban clearly don’t rlly like each other much yet and it’s so funny to me

Like these are Meliodas’s closest friends and they just kinda annoy each other a lot

it’s like fuckin icarly

Gustav: the captain and one of his fellow sins going one on one? We might neve see something like this again!

hahahahaha nooo. i mean gustav didn’t, he’s dead. but the rest will el ol el

Gil is the biggest dork to ever live and howzer is concerned. Mans is crying at watching them fight and howzer is just like … ok ??

Bartra: where the fuck is my daughter

his daughter: literally watching a cage fight

MELIODAS RIPS OFF BAN’S FUCKING ARM AND SMACKS HIM WITH IT AHSDBFKSKFSDHFFK LOLLLL

theyre literally the cutest

bestiesss (boyfriends)

every one of these bitches is a fucking alcoholic

ban’s whole character is that he’s a depressed, violent alcoholic and I love him

my horrible secret is that im skipping through a lot of ova 3 bc im just not a kiane girlie😔

i do love diane tho she so babygirl

nakaba’s not even thinly veiled size kink strikes again. Seriously, i can fuck with it, but its so funny that every single main ship has a significant/abnormal height difference

hendy and dreyfus are so gay for each other im genuinely surprised it’s not canon

like look at this scene and tell me something lgbt is not happening here

omg my pfp !!

Howzer’s dad is such a dick i love it

Meliodas using the sugar spoon to full counter is literally so fucking cute, i love when they have to use dumb weapons

but also vivian lost to a tiny spoon hehe

bet gil regrets not killing vivian after she kidnaps and permanently fucks up his son ahaha🥲

Merlin being fucking terrifying saying that vivian should have realized that she is a monster is why im gay

Meanwhile Meliodas:

I love when his face does that he’s so baby

KASDBFKLHDFNWDKF GIL, HOWZER, AND GRIAMOR ALL BEGING HORNY ABT “MATURE WOMAN” MERLIN

anyway time to start season 2!!

[greasersgyatt]

Hiii <3 can you write an outsiders tickle fic where a female reader is really ticklish but tries her best to hind it from Dally but of course he finds out and takes advantage of her ticklishness? Dally is such a teasing tickler 🙈

{Yesss❗️❗️}

Dally and Y/N have been friends for a good few years now. They were two stereotypical boy - girl bestfriends. They would tease eachother, make fun of eachother just for fun and they would be reslly touching just for shits and giggles. They reslly didnt mind eachother, infact they loved eachothers company. Even if theyre both bitches to eachother 24/7.

Y/N invited Dallas over to her house just like any oher day. They were sitting in her bed while watching a horror movie and eating snacks. They loved having little movie days even if they did it almost everyday. It was always enjoyable for Dally to scare Y/N during the scary parts of movies because she would always give the best reactions.

Today, dally tried something new.

As they watched a new horror movie that came out, dally started to scare her. “You know this movie is based off a true story?” Dally said, glancing at Y/N as he tried to keep a straight face. “Shut up Dally, Its not!” Y/N nervously chuckled, trying her best not to seem scared even though she was literally hiding halfway under the blankets. “Yeah it was. I heard that the killer in the movie was actually real and that hes still out on the run or something” dallas replied, focusing his eyes back onto the tv where the movie was playing. “Cut your shit. I’m not that dumb to believe your shitty lies” Y/N groaned. She knew dally too well to fall for that. “Well, its not gonna be me who is gonna be out with you, protecting you from him” dallas smirked, knowing that Y/N didn’t believe his bullshit. “Ha, you think i need protection? Especially by you? Youre really funny, dallas” Y/N said, laughing lightly in his face. “Im gonna be the one laughing when your ass gets beat and murdered” dallas muttered quietly under his breath. He purposely said it quietly to tick Y/N off. Y/N glared at dallas. “I can protect myself you dumbass” Y/N said,rolling her eyes. “As if” Dallas added on, laughing as he poked her side to mess with her. Suddenly, Y/N squealed. Her face heated up red with embarrassment. Dallas stared at her with the most shocked but evil grin ever. “You ticklish, Y/N?” Dallas asked playfully. The grin never wiped off his face as he waited for an answer. “..no? Just caught me off guard” Y/N replied back but never looked at Dallas. She was too embarrassed to. “You sure, ma’am?” Dallas asked, not believing her for a second. “Yeah,now watch the movie you dork” Y/N muttered, forcing herself to keep her eyes strictly on the tv screen and nowhere else. “Oh yea? Lets see if youre lying, shall we?” Dallas insisted before creeping his hands behind Y/N’s back slowly. Y/N could already feel the tickly feeling creeping on her sides just from how dallas is taking his sweet ass time. She tried to block her sides with her elbows but she was too late.

Dallas suddenly dug his fingers into her sides, wiggling them all around. Y/N’s soft laughter filled up the room pretty quickly. “Dahahallas!!-” she screamed through her laughter. “Stahahawp it yohohou shithehehead!!” She added on. “Thought you werent ticklish?” Dallas whispered into her ear purposely pushing the air out from his lips harshly so that she could feel the tingly feeling on the side of her neck. That worked so well. It had her squirming her neck to the side, giggling aswell as trying to shove dallas’s hands away from her body. Dallas was too smart for that tho. He moved his hands quickly to different spots so that 1) she couldn’t get used to the feeling of tickling in one spot. 2) so she couldnt smack his hand away at any time. “Awh, does it ti- ti- tickle?” Dallas snickered, moving his hand up to Y/N’s ribs, then to her hips. Her hips made her laugh so uncontrollably. “cuhuhut it ohohout!!” She shrieked. dallas couldnt help himself but continue for another few minutes until Y/N was practically begging to be let go. “Im gohonna get yohohou back..” Y/N giggled out though he probably wasnt too serious about it. “Sure you will” dallas smirked.

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Could you do some rival Headcanons between epic and cross sans fighting over us? Like every second you cannot breath, each of them trying to one up each other to show who would treat you better. This idea has been floating in my head for a bit, so just wanted to finally request it. (Also, can we be gender neutral? And romantic, obviously) Thank you and have a good day/night! :)

Hello hun! Sorry this took me a little while - I've had to work more than normal recently. But THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I thi k this is my first from a non-moot so im so excited to be able to write this for you! I hope you have a lovely day / night as well :D sorry if this isnt that long, im trying to get some confidence in my writing lolol

Epic & Cross x Reader

Cross doesn't like fighting Epic since they are pretty close but this doesn't stop him from getting competitive.

Epic, on the other hand, loves play fighting and competing with Cross! He's not aggressive about it, he just does it for fun.

Cross is usually trying to prove himself worthy of your affection in some way while Epic just likes flirting and making you laugh.

Epic is surprisingly good at flirting but often settles for making you laugh because he loves it so much.

Sometimes Epic flirts with cross too just to fuck with him lmaoo - Cross is always baffled and a mess when it happens. Its pretty funny to watch tbh.

Most people assume youre a polycule. Epic doesnt help dispel that with his flirting. I mean a poly relationship could probably work.

You will never know alone time again if you don't set those boundaries. They're both Clingy!!

Given the chance, Cross will escort you everywhere - hes like your own personal bodygaurd. (You dont know how he knows your schedule so well or how he finds you so easily when going out.)

Epic also shows up a lot. Hes usually the one initiating lunch & dinner dates between y'all. Well, its not obvious theyre dates but they basically are, lmao.

They do try to one up each other but you'll next to never see them fight. You may catch them bickering about who did better, though. Epic likes instigating and Cross can be sassy.

They may have a fight about you once. Other than that they are chill because they're so close and Epic often gets Cross to communicate.

The fight would probably be mostly on Cross. He would get mad that he fell for someone his best friend likes. He would be upset that he "couldn't have someone himself" both because he feels guilty about Epic and for personal issues (he's lost a lot). Then he'd be mad that he thought that way and felt jealous. He wouldn't like how selfish he feels. Epic talks him through it, though. And talks some sense into him :]

Cross may be quiet most of the time but he is hanging around more often than not. He's just sort of ... supervising lol. Its comforting in an odd way. He likes the quality time too.

Sometimes Epic gets you alone, though. He gets you two to do relaxing things together like a picnic or video games.

He can be surprisingly tender and romantic but he will ruin it with a joke after surprising you or flustering you with the romance so cherish the moment while you can. Good luck, too. ;P

Cross is a mixed bag. One moment he's purposely suave and dashing then the next he cant get a sentence out . Its like he has moments of clarity then goes back to being a dork.

On a few occasions they will team up on you. I don't think they would really plan it unless it was your birthday or something special like that. When they do it it's usually just an accident and their moods synced to cause chaos.

When they team up they are menaces! Epic would be all gentle and romantic with flirty, witty remarks while Cross would be the type to guide you by the small of your back, leaning in to tell you things. And you know he'd be saying stuff like he's your personal knight! "I'll always be there for you." || "if you ever need anything just come to me, I'll take care of you." And shit like that.

Augh they would have you cornered but like in a good way. Cross always behind you, making sure you're safe while Epic leads you around by the hand. I hate them. I actually love them damn it.

Sometimes they get needy and steal you away for a while. The dorks.

Epic "kidnaps" you to cuddle up somewhere and read or watch a movie. He's very touchy (respectfully) so if you're okay with it he will be all over you. He especially loves it if you act as his weighted blanket and lay on him.

Cross gets grouchy and takes you somewhere on an "adventure". Most of the time it'll be somewhere without people. If the place has rough terrain he'll likely try to convince you to let him carry you lol. "You got it?" / "you tired?" / "want help?" Any reason to be close or touching you if you'll allow it.

If you're more of a low and mellow energy person he'll set up a special spot where he sets up stuff for one of your hobbies (if he can) somewhere hidden and will hang out with you.

Stars forbid you give only one of them a gift. They won't guilt you or be mean, but they will rub it in the others face subtly. If they're the one who didnt get something then Epic would jokingly act all clingy and pouty while Cross glares at him. Speaking of, Cross would stand closer than normal and Low-key pout if he didn't get something. Like a cat who wants something from you.

If you're the more affectionate, touchy type then you're going to likely always have one of them touching you if they're around. Epic practically hangs off of you while Cross just has a hand on you somehow. They have probably scent marked you, accidentally or not. They just clingy bois.

Also - not in a kinky way - but Cross has a high chance of biting you during prolonged physical contact lol. It's just a quirk of his. Its like cuteness aggression but in a loving way. You can think of it as kisses it a way.

He wouldn't mention it if you dont but it is a good way to fluster him >:3c

As for trying to be better than each other i think they would choose some things you like and try to be "the best" at it?? Like... lets say you collect shells. Suddenly they are finding great shells - in tact and pretty - and giving them to you. Same with trinkets. Or finding weird coffee mugs if you like those.

Epic also is that bitch who has a lot of money and just sugar daddies his friends LMAOO. You want that expensive thing? Dont worry bby hes got it kcjsbsbsb. If hes crushing on you it just gets worse and more ridiculous.

Cross is the one who has dedication to getting you things. So if something is about timing or searching hard for it he's the one to go to. He also just brings you random things like a bird..?? You dont even know where he gets half the stuff he shows up with. You may even just find stuff on a table in your house randomly.

Also, for no apparent reason, kareoke becomes a thing between y'all. You have no choice /j

[year2000electronics]

More incorrect quote featuring clay and viva ( bounty au)

V: That was so hot, clay

C: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

V: I'm so in love with you.

—————

V: Talk dirty to me~

C: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

V: Wha-

C: The economy is in shambles.

—————

C: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

V: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

C: That one. I want that one.

————-

V: You have to apologize to them clay

C: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

————-

C: I’m in love with you.

V: : We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

C: I know.

V : Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

—————

V: Are we fighting or flirting?

C: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

V: Your point?

————-

V: Can you cut me some slack, I’m sort of in love.

[C]: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

[V: I’m in love with you.

[C: blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

I LOVE THESE brozone bounty cliva makes me smile theyre so funny

[redactedgender]

— ELLIOTT BA SPOILERS —

this is me liveblogging the entire ba. theres lots of screaming. youve been warned.

18+ only obviously

FIRST OF ALL. called this. i KNEW this fucking audio was coming. literally called it. second of all, this is my first time liveblogging so idk if thisll be good or not ahgjsdfkl

OOO DREAMSCAPE NOISESS. i love how twinkly they are

him teasing themmm :(( i love themb

"we dreamwalkers call it 'the ingress'" love how erik drops dreamwalker lore in this ba thats so funny

elliott is so giggly and sweet sounding :((

"yknow, i can judge you on the fact that you have a dream about shopping at a grocery store... [laughs] no, no i will never let you live that down" STOPPP thats so cute him referencing his first audio with them awwweeee

eriks voice acting has gotten so good. like the stutters and imperfections feel like genuine instead of scripted, like hes actually elliott actually floundering for words a little. its sogood

(are you okay?) "no no, i'm- i'm okay" STOPP literally what did i say before. it sounds so genuine and like real

"y'know how some days you just feel kinda... off?" mood king. but also. is this bc of the memory modification brachium did?

"... i dunno. it's just- it's been kind of a weird day ... i mean, i don't even know what i'm talking about ... like you know when you have a bad dream, and even though you know its a dream ... and it shouldn't have any impact on you, but the rest of the day you feel off" HEY NOW. HEY NOW.

"i mean i'm not a huge people person most of the time, maybe its that, maybe hanging out with aaron and his partner drained my battery a little" honestly if i didnt know what the deal was id be like yeah same

"i know we didnt have any dreamscaping planned tonight but i... i didn't really wanna spend the night alone in my head if thats okay. it- it almost feels like... like i miss you?? or like i had been missing you?" BRACHIUM WHEN I CATCH YOU BRACHIUM. SHUT UPPP OH MY GOD :(( thats actually so fucking sad and sweet. like his body and his brain remembers missing sunshine so fiercely but the memories arent there so he just feels off-kilter and like he misses them for some reason WHAT THE SHIT :((

"you havent had a work trip for a while, we spent all night together. you're literally laying next to me in bed in the waking world, like, you're right there! like i could wake up and poke you right now" he is so goofy and silly but not in a guy way and i really appreciate that

"[im a little tired] and maybe a little sappy. i guess i just hadnt gotten my fill of you today" HEHEHEHE...

THEYRE KISSINGGGGGG

"i just wanna be with you rn, and i dont know why ... no, no thats not what i meant!" I LOVE HOW SUNSHINE RIBS ON HIM :(( like they really are just besties who fell in love

i love the way elliott kisses sunshine. if that makes any sense dhjgfshd

"i love being with you [kiss] in dreams, in reality, anywhere. if its you, im happy." when is it my turn god.

"im just the boy next door... the boy next door with a brain that can handle managing the near infinite minutia of an entire dreamscape, flawlessly under pressure, at a labyrinth black certified level. yknow, simple stuff like that" WOW YOUR HONOR IM IN LOVE WITH HIM

"i mean it really is simple when it comes to you. you're there? im happy. you're not? im not. and right now i could use some happy" theyre the cutest couple god im ill abt them

"the dreamhouse- pardon the pun" IM SO EMOTIONAL OVER THAT WAIT :(( HE CALLS THE HOUSE HE MADE FOR HIM AND SUNSHINE THE DREAMHOUSE

"ba-dum-bum!" im making out with him rn

"yeah, well, if you didn't like a dork, you wouldn't have stuck around. cuz i am one, through and through. and you knew that; you've known that as long as you've known me" and when i throw myself into the sea then what. then what

"starting us in the bedroom is a perfectly logical start to the dream" its also a good starting point for me to rail you-

GOD THE WAY ERIK DOES MAKING OUT... like the softer kisses to start, how they slowly start getting deeper as they get more into the kiss..... incredible

THE WAY HE MAKES SURE SUNSHINE ISNT FORCING THEMSELF TO FUCK CUZ HE PUT THEM IN THE BEDROOM :((

i just realized we're gonna get updated elliott Noises. ogh. im so excited

sunshine really does love taking care of him :((

WAIT ARE THEY BLOWING HIM??? THIS IS THE LASKO BA ALL OVER AGAIN. ERIK GIVE US LIKE. SOMETHING TO KNOW WHEN THE LISTENER IS GOING DOWN ON THE SPEAKER DHFJGAFHGS

god his NOISES. hes so vocal n i love it

I LOVE WHEN THE SPEAKERS CALL THE LISTENERS BABY AS A SECOND PET NAME ITS SO CUTE. also. elliott just has the cutest noises wowow

"can i hold your head?" THATS HOW YOU DO IT FOLKS. also babygirl you can pull my hair any day of the week

I LOVE HOW BREATHY HE IS??? also some of his noises are deeper than i wouldve expected from him but i love it so much :flushed:

HE WAS STANDING THAT WHOLE TIME??? GODDAMN SUNSHINE

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT WAS THAT NOISE HELLO???? THE STUTTERING RASPY MOAN????? WHAT THE FUCK????? THAT WAS THE HOTTEST NOISE EVER WHAT THE SHIT

i just KNOW hes holding sunshine by the head not to control the pace but to steady himself and to have something to hold onto while they suck his dick like a pro

WE LOVE A MAN WHO KISSES THEIR PARTNER AFTER ORAL SEX

"oh god the things you do" SIR IM ON THE FLOOR RN WHAT WAS THAT FUCKING VOICE???????

"is it too bright?" mans has the sun reacting to his emotions thats so cool and also hot

"im looking at you... you look so incredible with the horizon behind you" im going to propose if you keep talking to me like that

"i got the idea from that trip we took up to the lake" ERIK GIVE US SOME FLASHBACKS TO THEIR CAMPING TRIPS PLEASE i would love one where theyre not dating yet but theyre obviously dancing around it god thatd be so good

"all these oranges and reds and purples... eyes shining in the waning light" hes so romantic

"hey... i have an idea" oh?

"howd you like to see that sunset up close?" ARE WE GONNA FUCK IN THE SKY??

"do you trust me?" YES YES YES

THE WAY HE IMMEDIATELY GRABS ONTO SUNSHINE TO REASSURE THEM AND SAYS THAT HES GOT THEM :((

ARE THEY IN A CLOUD???? WHAT THE FUCK???

"you deserve it... everything beautiful and wonderful, you deserve it." god hes so good at making sunshine believe they have worth in this life :((

i love how you can tell when erik is kissing someones lips vs when hes kissing their skin. the noises are so subtle yet distinct and its so good at helping you realize where things are happening. but also... sunshine where are your clothes sjdfhkg

"d'you-do you like it?" HIS LITTLE HESITATION LIKE HES WORRIED SUNSHINE DOESNT LIKE THE DREAM STOPPP :(( hes so fucking cute i cant stand it

"lay back... let the clouds hold you" ok real talk i have a bad phobia of heights (specifically the edge of things) but i would brave my phobia if it meant a hot dreamwalker was going to fuck me in the clouds

"sunset skin... my sunshine" I AM ON THE FLOOR AGAIN THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING :(( i love when he says "my sunshine" CUZ THEY ARE HIS SUNSHINE IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!!!!

"can i?" YOU FUCKING BETTER GO DOWN ON ME DUDE

HIS FUCKING GIGGLES?? "okay... then spread 'em a little bit" HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT AND TEASING ALMOST WOWOWOW

erik knows how to make gender neutral oral sex work very well. im genuinely impressed

"so good..." sorry but if someone said that after going down on me i would marry them on the spot

"can i?" YOU BETTER FUCK SUNSHINE RN IM GOING CRAZY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR LIKE FOUR FUCKIN YEARS

GOD HIS NOISES?????????? THEYRE SO LIKE. ROUGH. N ALMOST FERAL. AND SO APPRECIATIVE????

"just a sec... god it feels so good... just to be inside- all the way... together" WOOOOOOOW WOW WOW WOW IM SO LONELY HOLY SHIT HJGSDAHJ

"yeah i just wanna feel it for a sec... all of it... all of you" hes so lustdrunk rn its craaaaaazy woooooow. i mean considering this is the first time theyve fucked in days after the events of the balance (not that they remember it) im sure it would feel overwhelming

"lemme see your neck" god n the way he marks them up...... plus its a callback!! we love a callback!! technically its a callback to two diff things, his first ba and his "dreamwalker bf helps you in your dreams" when theyre on the beach!

"oh yeah.... moan for me" HIS VOICE. HJDFGKFGHKDJ!!!!!!!! ./////. "yeah? its just us, and the sky; let it all out." him encouraging them to be loud?????? what the fuck????????

pleasuredrunk elliott is something i knew i needed but didnt know i needed this badly holy shit

"you look so incredible.... no, no, not just the sunset. the sunset's just casting a light on whats already there" WHOAAAAAAA. THATS SO???? ROMANTIC?????? HOLY SHIT???????

"all the imperfections are what make you perfect. make you real... warm, and real, and here... with me" WOW THATS. YEAH. OW. THAT HURTS A LITTLE

I LOVE WHEN HE CALLS THEM MY SUNSHINE HEHEHEHE

god his NOISESSSSS i cant get over them. he sounds so obsessed with sunshine its crazy.

"no- no let me, let me... i wanna be the one to make you come" AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

i love when the speakers jerk off/touch the listener to help get them close. like its so intimate and hot.

n the noises of him touching them,,,

"yeah, yeah, get loud," SIR??? SIR???????

"feeling me while im..... in you..." the way his voice like dissolves into pleasure is craaaaazy. erik what are you fucking to make those noises??

"throw your head back... let the clouds hold you while i fill you up-" WHOAAAA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JGHDFKFGDHJKSDGKFHJDKGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"youre tightening down...... now?... yesss, yes sunshine, come for me, come-" OH MY FUCKING GOD??????????????

HIS NOISES????????? FUCK ME????????????

AND THE WAY IT SOUNDS LIKE HES PANTING INTO THEIR NECK/CLOSE TO THEIR SKIN,,,,,, GOD. GODDDDDDD.

AND THEN HE BRINGS THEM BACK TO THE BED. HIS FUCKING SHUSHING AND THE "no its okay, i got you" GODDDD

their aftercare kissing n cuddling. wow :((

"i love you so much, baby... you make me feel so good... you feel so... right. its just easy with you. its real with you, even here, where none of it is.. real. its us. and that makes it- real ... in my arms.. its real." THATS SO FUCKING SWEET WHAT THE FUCK

"i never wanna have to miss you again" SHUT THE FUCK UP ERIK IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

"we're forever" THEY ARE THEYRE SO FOREVER LIKE THEYRE GONNA GET MARRIED AND BUILD THAT DREAM HOUSE AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE ERIK :(((((((

"i love you sunshine" mirroring the end of his first ba I WILL CRY

and the really soft kisses as the audio fades out :((

WOW that was. wow. i mean. what else can i say dude????? that was so fucking good. best ba we've had in easily awhile. holy fuck dude

[disappointingcabbage]

TDP Season 6 Episode 2 Live Reaction, spoilers under the cut

OUGH THE NEW INTRO STATUE IS CLAUDIA

She looks so sad

Also her face now that she’s done so much dark magic is lookin real spooky

Yay Soren has Hat!!

Wait why are they going to Lux Aurea

OH CORVUS!!!

Here’s how Sorvus can still win-

But seriously it makes sense, he is a tracker, he can find Zubeia

THE LESBIANS!!

I forgot how obnoxiously French Janai is. I still love her.

Girlie you are making some questionable choices due to stress, you’re gonna want to treat your generals better if you don’t want more traitors

Thank you, Amaya, for being the voice of reason

JANAI YOU DID NOT JUST DISRESPECT AMAYA LIKE THAT

“I’ve never seen mushrooms like this before? You think it’s edible” “no and pLEASE DONT FIND OUT” AHDIEJXIEKF lmao Corvus is very familiar with Soren’s stupidity

I fucking forgot Karim stole the light seed

Janai’s having fuckass dreams too???

Ok now she decides to properly communicate with her fiancée (when’s the wedding happening)

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU KARIM

this mf’s really gonna waste the sun seed on Sol Regem and throw away any chance at Lux Aurea actually rebuilding properly

I forgot Karim’s girlfriend’s name but it would be really fucking funny if she put poison in his wine glass, just saying

Glad to see Zym and Ez still have that whole telepathy thing going for them

NEW MUSHOOMS????

AMONG US?

yeah these two are gay dorks

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THE MUSHROOMS ARE LITTLE GUYS

I wanna gently squish it with a hug ITS SO CUTE I FUCKING LOVE MUSHROOMS

“Ah fuck my leg” *jump cuts to Soren absolutely booking it through the woods with Corvus on his back* YOUR HONOR THIS IS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR AND ALSO HILARIOUS

Jesus Christ this mushroom can run

I think the mushroom brought them to its own mom

Oh shit the mushroom elf dude from the end of season 5

WAIT I CAN COSPLAY THIS GUY I HAVE A MUSHROOM HAT

“You are my heart, my truth. If I ever start to doubt you I’ll know I am truly lost” BRB SOBBING

THEYRE CALLED MUSHPALS!!!! I love them so much

Wgeiejciero one of them has the fucking 2014 aesthetic mustache I’m gonna lose it this is so funny

So mushroom dude (Musko) is basically a doctor. Good for him!!

Ooooh the way that the shots of Karim addressing his army are intercut with Janai addressing her people is giving me chills

Karim sounds like a Zionist and/or general religious tyrant and I hope that’s an intentional parallel

Bro just fucking pulled out the Mario blue shrink mushrooms

Corvus telling Soren he’s a good man with a big heart is so incredibly gay

I love the glowy mushrooms in Zubeia’s tree room

AWWW SHE CALLED EZRAN ZYM’S BROTHER

wait what does she mean “Ezran needs you” because I’m hoping she means, like, in general and not because of some specific threat

WEDDING TIME WEDDING TIME WEDDING TIME

oh my god he’s hat’s hat

[historia-vitae-magistras]

alfred straight up murdering his brother on accident just because he walked too quietly into the room is so fucking funny but how terrifying is alfred to regular humans? If he goes to casually throw some ridicously heavy thing he's working on over to the intern or whoever theyre not gonna get back up on their feet to chew him out for it lol. also... getting shot and squished by bisons still hurts like all hell right? does matthew start to get wary around him or is he just too used to it to be all that bothered?

Lmao right? I very much enjoy using these characters, especially fleshy loony-tune-style horror shows because good fucking god, it's funny. But its also very fun? Alfred javelining people into the water must be so fun. Alfred casually picks up Matt when he's on the sofa because he dropped his keys behind it. He will randomly rip up troublesome trees in someone's fields in the middle of the night. This is not a wholly negative, angsty or even humourous trait.

So for humans... not very as an adult. I think. Generally, Alfred puts his people at ease. He's handsome, funny, intelligent and friendly. Man has that kind of crooked smile and easy charm. The charisma, luck and social skills of the gambler and the grifters and drifters of the old Westerns if not the old West. When he was little and had less control because he'd get excited, I could see him getting himself in trouble and accidentally committing some violence. As an adult, I think he's much more careful around humans, and the only time he tends to bust out the super strength is to prevent accidentally killing humans. Picking up a car in front of someone getting aggressive will contain that person's aggression goddamn fast.

As for if things hurt, yes. Superheroes and Gods are boring for me to write about. I like making these fuckers creepy and overpowered sometimes, but I'm most invested in their humanity. So time to do the math. The average bison is about 816 to 1,088 kg, and the most recent record for a deadlift was 487 kg. So on the lower end of that, 816 divided by 487 is about 1.67; redeploy that as a percentage that's about 160% the strength of what's currently possible. I personally think this is why this dork is always snacking, so it has some effect on his metabolism and his physiology. He's not going to starve to death as fast as he should with that metabolism because there's that nation fuckery there, but my boy is peckish. So now that I've laid that nonsense out, I generally make him about 160% more resilient than the strongest human (yeah, my browser history is fucked, what about it?), but not in all ways because biologically, that would fuck up his brain something fierce cerebellum be whack big and I like my nerdy NASA boy. But I try to keep that 160 in mind, so it might sometimes be consistent? Maybe? But yeah, he's durable and walks away from a lot of things that most people wouldn't, but he can be shot, dropped, smashed, hit, etc. And his pain tolerance is limited because, again, that removes too much vulnerability and why are we invested in this nerd? Lord knows it's not patriotism on my end. Strong, but not indestructible.

Now with the biology and the physical aspect of my stupid brain's explanation of this yankee doodle dumbass (affectionate) articulated, onto the emotional and interpersonal consequences. This is a bit meta, but Alfred's perception of himself and his loved ones can reflect this fandom and canon. I don't know if canon makes them twins, but many people do despite some intrinsic differences in history, progress, culture and values. It's a valid take because who wants to lord over other people or think about being the superpower and the empire? And passport privilege, cultural dominance, and political hegemony are things that only come into play when we're online or in some sort of international situation. The world revolves around the US, but Alfred's 'first amongst equals' with the laurels of power is not his default setting. At home, he just wants to be another person. Abroad, he has to function on a different set of rules, and leadership, and that arrogance only comes out at certain points. He wants to be human, he wants to be loved, he wants to be normal. And it hurts his fucking feelings to be reminded he isn't, that it is lonely at the top, that no matter how similar, the Trudeau quote applies.

Matt's used to him, and Alfred's reasonably careful, but the gulf between them, Alfred's ability to just steamroll him if he wanted to (even if Matt would give him a hell of a fight) does leave its marks. Matt tries as hard not to show it as much as Alfred tries not to crush him. He's overjoyed about something and goes in for a hug, and there go a couple of subluxing ribs as he kind of affectionately slaps Alfred's shoulder like "indoor muscles! Indoor muscles, bud!" And its mainly because Alfred doesn't like thinking about being a weirdo, and Matt doesn't want to remind him. They want to be as equal as possible, but physics is a thing.