#THIS MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST POST IVE EVER SEEN

[taxkha]

would LOVE to hear your klapollo fic recs!! Personally I love anything by cosmicpoet on A03

Oh I have a bunch of cosmicpoets fics in my bookmarks! but okay okay, here we go! And if my wishes could all come true by SeaMint

“‘Our son’ my ass. You’re getting way too into this,” Apollo grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Is this your dream? Do you dream of being divorced and paying alimony, Gavin?”  Klavier doesn’t tell him that as far as dreams go, his is to live in a world where a relationship with Apollo, past tense or otherwise, is at all possible. Apollo doesn’t need specifics, or terrible confessions in vet clinics that show how badly Klavier wants to play pretend with him.

Or, Klavier, Apollo, and how cats bring people together in the most convoluted ways possible. Okay so. This one is my favourite Klapollo fanfiction, I literally left a big ass love confession in the comment section because I enjoyed it so much.

Lookin' for a boyfriend (I see that) by SeaMint Five times Apollo tells Klavier about his dates, and the one time Klavier finally gets him to stop. Love this one as well ahh ;_; if it's really me you seek by SeaMint

“Anyway,” Ema keeps going, fully ignoring his sarcasm in favor of staring at a neat corner where the walls meet the ceiling. “I asked if he wanted to go to your party together, but he said he wasn’t going.” “What?” Apollo suddenly finds it very hard to breathe. “Why?” “Hell if I know,” Ema says nonchalantly, but then she turns to him with a smirk. “See if you can figure it out: I believe he told me, and I quote—ahem—'Ach, I would, Fräulein, but I believe Herr Justice would be more comfortable without me there.’”

Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment. Can you tell that I really like this author shjhsamd Hot for Justice by indirectkissesiniceland

After the events of State v. Misham, Klavier finds himself in a slump, stressed at the prosecutor's office and unable to pen new songs. To his surprise, he finds creative inspiration—and unexpected feelings—spending time with Apollo. Now if only he could release the new tracks without raising any suspicion as to whom his love songs are for. Do...I even need to say anything I think this one is one of the most well known fics, ive seen it in pretty much every fic rec post so far.

just finally say you love me by ahmackalak

“Backpacking through Europe?”

“Ja! I’ve wanted to go for ages – it’s been so long since I’ve been back home, I figure I might as well make it a whole journey.” Klavier’s smile is as easy and agreeable as always, but Apollo isn’t buying it.

Barcelona, Paris, Geneva, Rome, Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Copenhagen.

A trip to Europe with Klavier Gavin...this’ll be fine, right? I like this one a lot too, its very sweet and ahh. Pining. PINING. Stupid Cupid by KrisseyCrystal (IceCreAMS) In which Klavier botches his attempt to confess his feelings to Apollo, and somehow instead sends the entirely wrong message that he's already involved with someone else--a certain brooding and hawkish prosecutor, of all people. Cue the clown music. This is probably one of the funniest fics Ive ever read, I lost it at several instances. Monster Movie Monday by contritecactite

Klavier attends a bad movie marathon at the WAA, gets a boyfriend, and makes peace with Phoenix Wright. Somehow, the last part is the least awkward.

Set sometime post-DD but pre-SOJ. This one is very cute and wholesome, I love the idea of the wright agency kiddos hanging out with Klavier :") Need more of that. love at first sight (and other common misconceptions)  by experimentaldragonfire

Klavier's always been certain that when he runs into the person he's going to fall in love with, he'll just know. Apollo believes the exact opposite--that you can't fall in love with someone without getting to know them first.

After a bit of convincing, Klavier's starting to see Apollo's point.

Just read everything by this author, one of my fave authors. 10/10 humor and writing :3c in effigy by experimentaldragonfire

Apollo discovers some scandalous Gavinners merchandise in Klavier's closet. Klavier, having no shame, decides that this is an excellent opportunity to have some fun with it.

or, The One With The Official Gavinners Dildos This ones nsfw which I don't have to mention considering the...summary 8"D morning revelations (to sleep beside you from now on) by experimentaldragonfire

It’s not until he sees Klavier beside him, golden hair strewn over the pillow like some sort of Renaissance heroine, that Apollo Justice realizes he’s in love.

Apollo wakes up next to Klavier and has to come to terms with his feelings for the prosecutor. It's very cute!! This Is What You Do At Sleepovers, Right? by grimsparkblue

“Let me guess,” Phoenix said, one of those lazy, evil smiles he had back when he wore the same hoodie for weeks on end making an appearance, “You two were in the court library and the power went off. The front and back doors were locked because this place is ancient, so you two decided to tough it out until the cavalry arrived. Then the Brokeback Mountain itch hit you.”

Apollo and Klavier get stuck in the courthouse during a blackout. Enjoyed this one a lot, it's funny and sweet, as the summary suggests.

Just a Curiosity by GigglingGrave  Klavier is curious about how Apollo can see through lies. So, of course, he tries to figure it out. What he learns, however, is really much better than what he set out for. Apollo is really cool in this one and I love it when my boy gets to be cool. Baggage by u_andcloud

“Herr Forehead!” Klavier is calling out the nickname before he even realizes what he’s doing. Never mind that this is a German airport and people are giving him strange looks.

Apollo reacts immediately, and the instinctive response is gratifying on its own. His brow creases, he turns, and when he catches sight of Klavier, a disbelieving smile spreads across his lips, and Klavier realizes quite suddenly that, even after two years, he has not gotten over Apollo Justice, not even a little. This one is also really sweet. Jamais Vu by spaceburgers Apollo Justice, at 27 years old, is many things: a defense attorney, Khura’in’s Acting Minister of Justice, a mentor, a brother, a friend. And also, apparently, about to enact one of the biggest clichés of all time by sleeping with his ex at his former boss’s wedding. I LOVE THIS ONE, I already loved spaceburgers fics when I was still super into Sylvix, was very excited to see that they also wrote for Klapollo!! This one has nsfw in it! scoop of the century (read all about it!) by experimentaldragonfire

Working at a gossip magazine aimed at teenage girls is just a way for Apollo Justice to pay his law school tuition--until his article rating Klavier Gavin's outfits goes viral.

After that, he's got half the Internet reading his articles, and it's inevitable that Klavier finds out. This one is so funny!!! Also, read the second part of it which I'm not gonna link here now because its linked in the fic anyway, as its a collection. pen to paper, heart to heart by shepherd Written for the tumblr prompt, ‘instead of drawing the model in our art class ive been drawing you instead because i think youre really cute and oh my god all my papers just fell out of my folder and you saw them and oh my god theres hearts on some of them please kill me now’. Listen, I'm a simple gal. And a simple artist. Artist AUs really speak to me and this one spoke to me loudly. Its super sweet!! Loose Lips by judojudo "Please disregard all prior questions and instead just tell me one thing, Apollo," Miles Edgeworth's tone was half-smug and completely mocking and all Apollo wanted to do was melt into a puddle on the floor, never to be seen or heard from again. "Why are you on Klavier Gavin's wikipedia page?" I like fics that make me laugh and this one did, haha. we caught fire like california in july by lady_mab

n his head, Apollo mentally scolds himself for asking such a dumb question. Because of course Klavier likes him, right?

(Right? Being treated differently from a swarm of adoring fans isn’t necessarily a precursor for LIKE liking someone and what the fuck he’s twenty-four why does he sound like a high school girl from a manga trying to figure out if her crush likes her back?)

(Oh, that suddenly puts a lot of things into perspective, actually.)

(in which apollo contemplates the line between boyfriends and boys that are friends that sometimes kiss, and also contemplates turning into a crab)

This one is one of my faves! home is wherever i'm with you by bevioletskies At Athena’s request - or more accurately, her demand - the members of the Wright Anything Agency are spending their week-long winter holiday at a cozy lakeside cabin together for some quality team bonding. Much to Apollo’s dismay, she also invited their closest companions from the prosecutor’s office to tag along. With everything he thought he knew about Klavier and everything he has yet to learn, Apollo finds himself thinking he might have someone to ring in the new year with, after all. It's a bunch of AA characters having holidays together. What more do you want. Bricks, Lockets, and Other Christmas Presents by apolloyoostice Present shopping is always easier with someone you love, even if they do have a terrible sense of humor. This one is super sweet!! fame vs infamy (the price of writing fanfic out of spite) by experimentaldragonfire

In which Apollo Justice becomes the most popular fic-writer in the Gavinners fandom.

(and, along the way, realizes his Big Gay Crush on Klavier Gavin might not be as hopeless as he thought)

Honestly, when I read the summary I wasnt expecting to like it at all because this is usually not the kinda premise I'm into buuut I read it anyway because I liked the authors other works and man I had such a good time and many good laughs. The Main Event by ItsyRoyal Apollo had no idea that the flirty busker outside of his favorite cafe was his boss's brother. To be fair, Apollo also had no idea his boss had a brother. Theres a specific line around the end of the fic that had me wheezing. The rest of the fic is of course really good too!! The Definition Of Home by Hikari_Kaitou All Apollo wanted was to go right home after the legal conference in Seattle, instead of spending the night like his colleagues. He's never been able to sleep well in unfamiliar places. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond his control prevent him from returning to LA as planned, and in desperation he turns to Klavier for help. Klavier generously opens up his hotel room to him, which in turn leads Apollo to opening up his heart. Agh just. read it. Loved it. 13 Hours by Powerpossessor Apollo and Klavier are stuck together in a 13 hour layover. Stupid and hilarious antics ensue. Also, is it normal to slow dance with your friend in a dimly lit airport at 3am? THIS ONE IS SO SWEET AND FUN!!! can i go where you go by parchmints

Apollo Justice has rotten luck: he actually wins the grand prize for a mail-in contest, but It's a couple's getaway to a fancy ski lodge in the mountains and Apollo is aggressively single. With no one to go with, Apollo offers them to Klavier since surely, a rockstar would be able to find a date before then, but Klavier has a better idea—they go together and pretend they're a couple. That way, they both get a vacation, plus free food and wine.

And well, Apollo's never been one to pass up free food. VERY CUTE AND SWEET AND AHH. PINING. I love pining!! sweeping you off your feet by shepherd A short piece for a prompt on tumblr, for the quote "Please put me down, it's just a sprained ankle," featuring clumsy Apollo and his marriage to Klavier. A very sweet short piece!! Things Are As They Are by hechima

Klapollo cabin fic. That's really all this is.

Based on the events of "You Ever Been In Love?", in which Edgeworth gets drunk and rents a romantic cabin for Klavier and Apollo in Joshua Tree. Things go about as well as one could expect.

This is the most recent one in my bookmarks so the list ends here. I have a lot more bookmarked but these are the ones that made the biggest impression on me! Hope you or anyone else on here can find something they havent read yet! x)

[moondal514]

I loved reading your twins fics! Do you have any Aaron fic recs? Andrew ones welcome too but Ive seen more of them so Aaron is who I’m really looking for hahaha

Do I have Aaron fic recs??? BOY do I have Aaron fic recs:

blood everywhere by timeloops/ @billdenbrough

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“I’m going to throw this at you,” Aaron threatens, brandishing his textbook at Neil and his offending fingers.

Neil just scoffs. “I’m faster than you,” he says dismissively.

It’s funny, the things that can spark a memory. Neil says I’m faster than you, and it’s true, except for the time it isn’t. Neil says I’m faster than you, and Aaron is leaping forward, swinging. Blood everywhere.

-

There is no risk-free way to crash a car, and other things Aaron Minyard knows.

—it's a casual saturday afternoon, neil has a hypothesis, and the monsters have a bet to settle / aaron, on trauma, mirrors and memories

I’ve called this fic before a bunch of character and relationship analyses stacked in a trench-coat disguised as a fic, but this fic truly is some of the most insightful Aaron character analysis I’ve ever read and it was a major influence on my own Aaron fic

Dialing Numbers Till I Get It Wrong by sambutwithbooks

Aaron knows in his bones that Neil wouldn't have his number in any other circumstance. Their current forms of communication involve pointed silence, cursing, and exy terminology only- if they ever willingly started up a textual conversation the world might literally fold in on itself.

This is why, when his phone buzzes with a text from Neil on Thursday afternoon, Aaron's first response is annoyance at Neil for breaking the status quo. They’ve got a vibe going and this is harshing it, thanks.

--------

Aaron gets a confusing text from Neil one afternoon and proceeds to have a crisis about it.

This is one of the funniest fics I’ve read in the fandom and it’s a great look at Aaron and Neil’s relationship

in my life i have seen people walk into the sea, just to find memories plagued by constant misery by errantgods

Aaron hates this; he’s supposed to be the one with the shitty fucking coping mechanisms. This particular shortcoming isn’t supposed to be another thing that points towards the constant neon sign "Twins" between them.

It’s almost a miracle that they met at all. There are a million scenarios where Andrew and Aaron didn’t make it even this far. And the idea that Andrew maybe doesn’t, even in some small way, want to be alive, is almost too much.

One of my favorite versions of a post-canon twinyard reconciliation I’ve read in the fandom

eight seconds left in overtime by ilgaksu/ @ilgaksu

Katelyn tells him that her friends bet her a six-pack that she wouldn't talk to him. She’s there in her cheerleader skirt and he says, “Well, now you have.”

He tells himself he doesn’t notice how the skirt cuts across her thighs. The feeling in his chest, he tells himself, is not disappointment

“Yeah,” she says, and bites her lip.

The fic that turned me into an Aaron Minyard fan

It’s in the Jeans by Paradoxolotl/ @paradoxolotl

As a man of science, Aaron knows exactly how to solve his current problem. Crisis. Ground shaking, sky shattering, panic inducing crisis.

But it’s fine, he’s fine, everything is fine.

He just needs Neil to kiss him. For science.

Another one of the funniest fics I’ve read in the fandom

genesis' wane by kairospy/ @kairospy

“Why were you in the car with mom, Andrew?”

“You know why,” he answered. But that was simply not good enough.

:*:*:

Or, the twinyards’ backstory and most pivotal moments of their relationship but using fancy words

This fic is like the twinyard Bible to me; I can’t emphasize enough what an impact and influence it has had over how I interpret Aaron and Andrew’s pre-canon relationship

-

I hope you enjoy these fics! And thank you for the compliment to my own twinyard fics <3

[philtstone]

i was scrolling thru the notes on that “i bet aragorn continues to be Just Some Guy as king” post as one does and this might be the single funniest arawen take ive ever seen. like yes yes jjrts juxtaposition of joy and grief love and loss is enduringly compelling but what is more compelling is the idea that no one can stand to harm the king bc it just makes the queen So So Sad. shes so beautiful and kind and magically lovely that seeing her Sad is like. the fucking worst. no one can bear it. like hell there might even be a plot or two at some point but then the would be conspirators see arwens face in one of her “im thinking about aragorn dying again” moods and theyre immediately like fuck. we cant be a part of this. assassination called off

[heartbrake-hotel]

guys e!twt might really have us beat w their elvies awards event fr bc this is the funniest shit ive Ever seen

(voting is open here if anyone cares💕 it's fun as HELL) for anyone still asking, voting is now closed ! results will be posted on saturday, 04Feb2023 by .. uh idk actually, either anita or bee, the event forerunners !! check the #elvies tag on twitter for updates i suppose i dunno y’all i don't go here either 💫

[dual-fantasy]

So much. Yes. the babyfication of mike(& the rest of the system to an extent) cause hes nervous sometimes and mentally ill makes me so mad. hes a bit of a dick and its okay. let him be a dick. he deserves it. let him be awful and gritty. scike ultimately would fail because of how much they just dont love each other. they end it on awful terms. anytime they're near each other they end up getting in a fistfight. mike kicks his ass every time. he'd have to be physically dragged off scott if anyone cared enough to stop him. jo cheers him on. people only get in the way of it when they realize scott might actually Die and even then its just a suggestion. Also, bit of an unpopular opinion in the fandom but I don't like zoke. I think they'd be friends after the show but they wouldn't date. mike grew a backbone after the show as well. he got cooler i reckon. its the mental illness though he stopped going to therapy after roti(also. i want to talk about how people completely forget that he actively sees a psychiatrist?? he is fucked in the head stop ignoring it) and somewhere through dating scott he just Stops Giving A Shit. he contracted scotts shark rabies or whatever and it made him evil. but its okay cause its mike. let him be evil. he deserves it. let him be mean to people. scike are absolutely awful for each other. their ''relationship'' is messy at most. nobody knows how they started dating it just happened one day. they yell at each other in the furniture displays at big stores and make everyone uncomfortable. they cant hang out together around anyone else cause 30 minutes in they get mad at each other and ruin the mood. actually the fandom interpretation of mike pisses me off so much. he is not a dainty little twink he has abs. that isnt just vitos italian superstrength(funniest fucking thing to me) or whatever hes strong as hell. let him beat someone up. let him be mean. he pushed scott into shark infested waters. he was a stupid boy in love with a pretty girl but hes also a dick. it means so much to me. hes an awful person sometimes and he absolutely deserves to be. half of the total drama fandom can not comprehend a mentally ill guy having complexities that make him a kind of bad person. hes a dog motif in a guard dog way. his bites worse then his bark. i do not frown on him being horrible i think he should be like that more. make mike mean twenty twenty four. td fandoms displayed him in such a horrific way i have to level the scales by making him the horrible person he deserves to be. not even in an angsty way he isn't sad and miserable. he should just be allowed to fuck scott up a lot. let him break some noses. I saw a post about brick and mike(no idea what the ship name is. bike ????) and i think they should be allowed to kiss just a little bit. brick frowns on him getting in fights but he isn't gonna stop it. scott deserves to get beaten up a little. mikes stupid and in love with brick though. tying into the guard dog motif. he comes home soaked in blood(probably scotts. none of its his own) and makes brick dinner cause hes actually the best boyfriend ever. just not to scott. theres no scike happy ending they dont become friends or learn to tolerate each other theyre forever bitter and hateful Grave Dog. i wrote this all in one sitting in 2 minutes i hope its somewhat comprehensible

YOU'RE SO REAL the fanon interpretation of mike actually drives me mad. like fucking insane. I hate it. I think the issue is that people don't want actual mental health representation they want the perks that come with being able to say he's mentally ill without actually having to see what mental illness is. they would rather die than realise nuances in his character. and your right the system has also had this happen but to a lesser extent. I like the fanon system more but only in the way that it's actually researched. in every other way it sucks. Ive seen it happen a lot with svetlana too. Its the obsession with easy troupes and simple characters that are easier to portray. they want characters to be more palletable so they erase their real character for the simplicity. it's bad

I think scike is literally never going to work out. it's always bad and it never improves and they're so terrible. they would never say they'll love eachother but they'll spend every waking moment imagining ways to destroy eachother. it's so bad and so good. mike is actually fucking killing Scott at one point. like his face is three hits from caving in. the only person to bother with helping him is brick because of "moral codes" or something. Cameron also wanted to help but he would get killed like. immediately. not even intentionally he would just get hit and crumple and die. everyone else is cheering them on tho. Anne Maria and B made a betting pool. lightning and dawn are announcing everything that happens like sports commentators.

I do not like zoke either because I don't like the way that Zoey was handled in canon. I think they should've made her weirder. she cannot be the "weird small town loser" if her only weird personality trait is a flower in her hair. she shouldve collected bones and made them into jewellery. they're friends but I can't see them dating. he stops caring after the show (and the reset button doesn't work!! it does not fucking work!! the system is still there!!) and decides to just be terrible. making up for the fanon bullshit my making him worse you're right.

and the Italian superstrength is easily one of the funniest explanations I've ever seen. in anything. Vito doesn't have fucking superpowers y'all mike is strong. he canonically does kickboxing!!! and is very passionate it!!! the show makes a point out of it!!! and also he can do everything that Svetlana can. even if he doesn't have the form or the practice in order to actually do it he could still theoretically do it. because Svetlana can only do what their body allows. mike is fucking jacked and incredibly strong he's just skinny. his ass is NOT a twink you all just hate nuances! he needs to beat up people. he needs to be worse. he needs to be terrible and horrible and cruel

and the guard dog motif is soooo good. weapon that's only used in necessity. bites not for enjoyment but for protection. able to fight but has the morality to restrain himself. he should be allowed to go crazy though. pleaseeee pretty please can he go crazy and silly and insane and violent. you're so real about brick and Mike I think they would be cute.

also DW I write all my posts in 2 minutes too that's why they're all incomprehensible

[amnesiaguy]

im so sorry i just unfollowed and then refollowed you because your posts keep showing up in my "based on your likes" thing which i have NEVER seen before but it's ONLY you like it is EXCLUSIVELY your posts about aragorn fucking OR about dimension 20 antisemitism and im going batty scrolling tumblr because im like I GET ARAGORN IS VIRGIN CORE and i thought unfollowing you might get tumblr to snap out of it but nope sure enough the next "based on your likes" is about how aragorn is a virgin so ive given up i guess my lot is simply to be inundated by virginagorn forever

i dont expect you to DO anything with this info i just thought it was vital enough to share

oh my god i am so sorry. this is maybe the funniest thing ever. LOOK at my posts

[fairyhaos]

Ahhh so we're playing my fave activity?? (Which is: fangirling about your writing) I think what brought me into your blog was one of your synaesthesia posts but I don't remember exactly which one? It might be Joshua's hehe all I remember is thinking: 1. Wow synaesthesia must be so cool and 2. What kind of poetry is THISSSS 💖💖💖

I also was already here for the grand yena bias debate which is still one of the funniest things I've seen on tumblr dot com

Also I checked my first ask I sent you and it was more than a year ago !! It was our anniversary sorry I forgot 💔💔 but happy late anniversary (it was also an ask about Joshua's lips which is so fitting for us lol)

- 🍒

AWWW BELOVED :(( and wow seriously was it actually a synaesthesia post???? that's actually crazy to me bc i talk a lot ab how underrated my platonic hcs are but like,,, the synaesthesia series is Even More So which makes me so honoured 2 hear this ☹️ HAHAHAHHA your reaction to the synaesthesia posts is so endearing wtf you're literally so sweet im 💔💔

OH MY GOD THE GREAT YENA BIAS FIASCO ‼️ still going down in history as one of theee most fun things ive ever done pls everyone literally so befuddled and for what reason 😭😭 so many people guessed yjh which i guess was kinda close??? bc the chaos energy that the entire debate radiated was definitely giving evil twin except everyone kept choosing the WRONG one 😭 i do wonder to this day whether i just don't give enough joshushushu energy for so few people to have guessed him,,,,,

ask game: what fic brought you to my blog?

[starscelly]

super random prompt just for fun: if you could make a nhl ready lineup with just your mutuals, who would you put in what positions?

i have been doing english class level analysis of my thoughts on this for weeks. i keep flipping and flopping. but ive just broken my mutuals into 3 categories so i could ramble abt my analysis more easily. moots you Know what you are.

forwards - gif makers. much like forwards are usually the face of the team i feel like gif makers are representatives of what the team is. integral to the community and appropriately appreciated and beloved! like how forwards are expected to produce all the points for their team.... gif makers produce all the Important game content (bench shots and hugs) for their team.

defense - livebloggers. okay okay hear me out. defensemen usually are very underrated but if you dont have heavy defensive presence you Notice That Shit. the praises might not be sung for them for doing good defensive work the same way a forward gets praised for offense but if theyre not On and Present you really feel it. that is a liveblog to meeeee. unsung heroes of hockeyblr... funniest people alive. like a good liveblog community is sooo valuable and precious. also suffers more than jesus. both of them.

goalies - artists/creatives. this is like any creators; visual artists, editors, writers, etc. i feel like beloved people who Primarily do this are rare on hockeyblr which makes it a cute smaller community in the same way goalies are in the league. 2 me. but ALSO sometimes ur random mutual who is just silly will post the most DELICIOUS amazing piece or edit you've ever seen in your life and youre like YOU HAVE CREATING SKILLS??? and thats how it feels whenever an nhl skater is like. oh yeah i used to be a goalie/want to be one. does this make sense.

[salty-cs]

im screaming "heyo, bowel movements got worse, im trading pets from this group" might be Thee funniest string of words ive ever seen posted on cs

.

[suolainensilakka]

favorite kingdom hearts characters. for science

WELL, gently taps the current pinned post of this blog, that one's a freebie ^__^

Anyway. BOY ranking them all is really hard bc so many characters in the series have permanently set up camp in my head by now and arent particularly inclined to leave any time soon, but if I had to list off just a couple examples that have caused me the most brain damage so far, itd be:

- Terra, hands down my number 1 most specialest guy in the whole world. Instantly became enamored with him from the moment I first set eyes on him and then proceeded to have all of my ribs carefully and meticulously pulled out of my chest one by one throughout the entirety of bbs and the entire rest of the series after that. Its so dire man I literally cannot look at any images of him now without physically having to hold myself back from making a long strangled whine Out Loud With My Mouth every time

- the entire Wayfinder Trio as a collective unit + Vanitas also tbh. Terra's obviously my Primary Favorite but the wayfinders as a whole also make my heart hurt so fucking bad man. My partner and I choose to interpret them all as siblings bc it leads to some exceptionally delicious and painful rs dynamics to explore imo and something abt it just makes The Miseries hit that much harder in ways that have literally had me writhing on the couch with a thousand yard stare rapidly cycling through the five stages of grief on loop. I'm also counting Vanitas as part of the unit bc he's just so closely tied to Ven in my brain that separating them (lol.) feels Wrong (lmao.), and. God. Vanitas might just be one of THE most tragic characters in literally any media I've experienced and I say this without a single hint of irony. The current total wordcount of the rps that I've written abt the wayfinders with my partner so far has probably shot past 50k by now. Why am I hurds

- Kairi. I was originally mostly ambivalent/neutrally intrigued abt her but kept getting increasingly more pissed abt her treatment and constant sidelining by the writing to the point where I got to kh3/mom and something in me snapped entirely, and from that moment onwards I decided to love her entirely out of spite. She instantly shot up to become one of my favorites after that and if I think abt her meta and story potential for longer than five minutes at a time I start frothing at the mouth

- Sora, naturally. I have so so so so many thoughts on this little darling boy that could easily double the wordcount of this ask just by themselves but the most important thing to mention here in lieu of that, for now, is that he's is the One (1) and ONLY child ive ever seen, whether real or fictional, that has made me experience emotions anywhere Close to resembling baby fever. I want to dribble him like a basketball but also gently pinch his cheek affectionately and also spoil him silly like a grandma seeing her beloved grandson again for the first time in months

- Xigbar. This fucko is the one I'm the most mad about ending up liking as much as I do, not because hes a bad character, absolutely far from it I fucking ADORE this terrible bodyhopping little cunt, but because it happened by complete accident after I realized he shares a lot of (surface) similarities with my favorite blorbo from another entirely unrelated franchise and I then got mad about realizing I have a very easily clockable Type (which I've affectionately dubbed the Guys That Suck category. I have more too obv but its the funniest one I have). He's also infuriatingly fun to write. Get me OUT of here

- Xemnas, Terranort and Ansem SoD. Everyone in the Nort Collective counts tbh but those three are the ones I lose sleep over the most, particularly the first two; Xemnas bc he makes me feel an unfathomably deep and haunting sense of grief (brought on by me finishing bbs and then realizing days later the exact way his creation connects to Terra's story and hearing the sound of fucking glass shattering at the back of my head instantly), and Terranort bc I'm fucking terrified of him and he also makes me want to eat gravel whenever I think abt him in context with him interacting with the rest of the wayfinders. He's also really fun to write and this fact Upsets Me. Ansem's listed bc you can never go wrong with the ol reliable mad scientist. The rest of the norts I would probably also be a lot more insane over once I actually get off my damn ass and start picking through the mobile games but that's an endeavor for Future Salty (i am very excited and terrified)

- the Lingering Will. I'm counting it as a separate entity from Terra and the rest of the Terra Collective on a technicality bc (LOUD TELEVISION STATIC AS I GESTURE FRANTICALLY AND FURIOUSLY @ THE JUMBLED BALL OF YARN LABELED "my thoughts on the physical and psychological effects of being a guy who got his soul and entire being shattered into like five million distinct pieces for over 10 Whole Entire Years" THAT I HAVE NOT EXPLAINED THE ENTIRETY OF TO A SINGLE OTHER SOUL ON EARTH) but. Eah. This fucking haunted hunk of metal has been eating holes through my brain tissue ever since I first saw the kh2 secret superboss and I'm distraught over it every single day of my life. This thing is like a weird bug to me. Do you understand. (tearign up) Do you get me. Do I have to pull out the Lingering Will/The Hollow Knight venn diagram

And as for the other fuckos haunting my cranium on the daily I can only mention a couple other honorary picks that honestly could also very well have made it to the main list if not for the fact that this post is already long enough as it is, and these following characters are therefore mostly delegated to Sleeper Agent Blorbos who I don't think about QUITE as often as the ones listed above but whenever I Do I get just as distraught and ailed over them. Anyway, shoutout to the entire Seasalt Trio, Demyx, Riku, Repliku, Naminé and Saïx and probably many others I'm forgetting rn bc it is currently 2 am and I'm running on approximately 5-6 hours of sleep and a prayer 👍 god bless and amen

[acaciapines]

What does the post ending of 'The Holiday-Dreemur Kids' look like? How does it compare to what's featured in 'So I'm Waiting For The Teeth' and 'Dear Dess, Love Asriel'? You're are genuinely my favorite deltarune author and 'i know i'm not well (but i'm alright)' is by far my favorite deltarune fic (and in my list of all time fav fanfics) and I would LOVE to know what if any future you've envisioned for the cast?

ok well first off THIS IS SO SWEET THANK U SM......i dunno it always makes me so happy 2 know people return to my fics and me being your?? favorite?? deltarune author???? wild.

n all honestly i didnt really envision any sort of future once i finished up the series, i essentially see both homegrown hearts (for the kids) and dess, after (for dess n azzy) as the futures for the cast as i wrote them in i know i'm not well! this means theres a Whole Lot Of Life unaccounted for yes lol but that leaves it open for you to decide! they made it through the hardest part now they get to live their lives.

tho i will say some cute things ive always sort of pictured would be ralsei going to high school w the rest of the fun gang...she gets out of the dark world pretty early so she's got like, two or three years of high school experiences. i imagine kris susie and noelle really run with the bit of ralsei being a foreign exchange student (from their school's closet) just to see how far they can push it. i doubt they're super secretive about the dark worlds after this tho lol once ralsei gets out its like. why keep the worlds separate?

all the kids are way more mentally healthy here lol since they wouldve worked out the worst of their stuff earlier! im not sure what they'd do as adults...kris and noelle sharing a dorm room is still the funniest thing EVER to me. i also really like the idea of ralsei studying religion...as someone who doesnt study religion idk exactly what that would look like, but i think she'd find it really interesting and really relate to the idea of finding meaning in a world, though im not sure i see her as being like. actively religious herself after the dark worlds. i just feel like studying it is a way for her to forgive her past self, in a way? for how she clung to the prophecy. dunno. might do something with this idea one day. probably not, but we'll see.

on the dess and asriel side of things, asriel would meet chara! in this universe xe was dess's friend first but xe and azzy would hit it off too. asriel and dess playfully fight over xir and chara thinks it is very stupid (xe can have two friends!) but also won't complain about the pair of them doing all the chores xe doesnt want to do lol. i feel like prooooobably one big difference would be chara and azzy not having a qpr? that's an idea i like which is why i explored it in dear dess, love asriel, and i like xir having one with dess which will be seen in the dess raises kris au, but for this particular universe i think both dess and azzy being there means theyre all just close friends! chara doesnt let dess babysit though. dess is fine with this. she is not a huge fan of being responsible for children lol.

dess and kris continue to repair their relationship. for missing so many of kris's birthdays theres a good ten year span where dess goes super all-out. probably plans a surprise party that kris 100% knows about but thinks is really sweet so they dont say anything until the very end.

but thats just a few ideas i came up with! none of these would ever be written in any way bc i cant see myself writing more for the holiday-dreemurr kids universe...those stories are over and while i hope to write more deltarune stuff in the future (i have a LOT of ideas for the dess raises kris au), these particular fics are all in the 'it's free real estate' territory. their futures are whatever you could picture!

[mcrcki]

Was that [OZGE GUREL]? Oh no no, that was just [SOFIA], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [GONCHAROV (1973)]. They are [THIRTY] years old, use [SHE/HER], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

** i need to be utterly and completely serious for a second, while this is a real character i will be playing (not a joke), this movie is fake!! this movie is basically tumblr folklore and has sparked the conversation of what is ‘real media’ when there is an accepted storyline, lore, characters, quotes, a SOUNDTRACK, and ‘leaked scripts’, what does it matter that the actual movie isn’t tangible media. the fandom is. also considering it has almost more works on ao3 than avatar !!!! i will absolutely open that debate of what is a real media or not. BUT with that said, i will be tagging anything with sofia in it as ‘unreality’ just to help with anyone who this may bother, considering the source material (or lack there of.) but pls understand i am so deadass serious about how much i love sofia and goncharov (1973). **

how long has your character been here

about a week as of 11.24.22 !!

what is your character's job

unfortunately, once you become comfortable with a lifestyle, it does have a way of constantly dragging you back in. so, despite wanting to be out of it, sofia has found herself back inside the crime ring within the city. it’s different to the mafia scene in 70s italy, but she is finding her footing none the less.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

i’ll be pulling her from the end of the ‘movie’, when she is seen taking katya’s boat from the harbor, smuggling paolo out as they both escape naples and the chaos that she found herself wrapped up in. driving the boat into the night is how she found herself here, suddenly no longer in italy and finding herself here in modern day dc.

has any magic affected your character

nope!! she’s still herself, no memory alterations!!

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know!!

okay so , like i said in the disclaimer , sofia is from a fake movie created by tumblr users and literally is the resurgence of the idea of passing on stories just from word of mouth and nothing more, how so many folklore stories were originally told. the fact that the tumblr user base has come together to create folklore and just like banded together to create this fandom out of literally nothing is the funniest thing ive ever seen and also genuinely so inspiring that there is so much freedom in this kind of fandom!!!! but !!! lemme explain a little about goncharov and sofia’s part in it. (in case you cannot tell i am hyperfixating and a special interest has been unlocked, i am unstoppable now. fueled by a fake mafia movie from the 70s)

how does one simply explain goncharov .. these links should help. here’s a power point , a couple posts for lore breakdown , and a google doc that explains scene breakdowns and characters

SO basically : the setting - alternate reality1970s naples italy, we are following a russian mafia crew who is attempting to create a footing in the italian mob scene. the soviet union had fallen in the 70s in the movie, so the main characters had left russia to escape the political unrest. but, we have our main players here - goncharov (robert de niro) , mario ambrosini (al pacino), andrey (he’s in love with goncharov), katya (goncharov’s wife, sofia’s soulmate), sofia (loml, mario’s implied sister, katya’s soulmate, queen, wants goncharov out of the picture), ice pick joe (henchman, best character in this movie). 

“overrun with homoeroticism”

i unfortunately do not know all the lore of goncharov, mario and andrey as well as i know katya and sofia and i should not be held accountable for that. i saw to women who deserved better and deserved to be in love and what else was i supposed to do?

sofia grew up in an orphanage, raised by nuns in russia. this is where she met katya originally. said orphanage burned down when they were teenagers, and sofia saved katya from the flames.

she had a difficult life after that, found her way to crime not long after escaping the fire, because it was easier to fall in with the mafia lifestyle than continue to live on the streets. 

she does have a prosthetic leg after an accident in her youth.

she’s good at what she does! but she doesn’t like doing it! she wants a different life! she wants to be more than just a pretty face with a gun!

smokes a lot. will light your cigarette for you, but for the price of one kiss unless you’re katya. and then, it’s whatever you want, whenever you want. 

sofia wants katya to leave the mafia world with her, she wants to give her the life she deserves outside of all of this. she knows she is loyal to her husband so she won’t, but man does she wish katya would choose her in the end. 

there’s an entire scene of them at a fruit stand where katya mistakes a pomegranate for an apple, and it sparks a conversation about the symbolism between apples and pomegranates and the biblical implications of the two fruits. sofia explains the whole ‘descent into the underworld’ and it fuels a lot of katya’s actions as she falls deeper into the mafia world. 

also !!!! sofia accidentally spills wine on katya’s white dress and she really looks at this woman and goes “you look better in red” , im in love. IT ALSO FORESHADOWS KATYA’S EVENTUAL DEATH WHERE HER DRESS TURNS RED WITH BLOOD. AND HER SHIFT FROM THE WIFE TO THE FEMME FATALE. JUST SO GOOD. the symbolism scorsese can create *chef’s kiss*

the other major scene sofia has is the boat scene, where katya gets shot and falls over the edge. it almost destroyed sofia thinking she lost her when she barely even had her yet. it’s a big reason for sofia wanting to get katya away from all of this, knowing that goncharov will only bring about her sun’s end. 

in the end , she just loves katya and wants the best for her, but she can never have her, and when she loses her, she’s lost her entire world. and so she tries to escape italy, before any ghosts can catch up with her. leaving in katya’s boat , she takes off into the night as end credits roll over her escape. which is where we find ourselves now. 

life in dc :

sofia has only just arrived but she is having a time and a half trying to adjust to being in america , let alone being in a completely new time. 

she is going to be doing what she can to blend in. 

she is nothing if not resourceful and adaptable. and while it won’t be easy, she does everything with confidence that it’s hard to tell otherwise. 

will be finding a footing in the crime scene here in the city, and unfortunately is very good at her job, despite not wanting to be in this life anymore. it’s what she knows, and it’ll be easier to be comfortable for now. 

gives the best advice, even if you don’t think it is at the time. 

big mysterious older sister vibes for those she allows close to her

is closed off, but willing to make exceptions if people try

has a way too nice penthouse for someone who refuses to explain where they get their money from

still mourning the loss of her sun.

connections :

crime associates

any criminal types wanna be friends? i promise she’s fun to hang out with!

roommate

i do like the idea that she just has a roommate despite not needing the money at all, and just sort of likes the company every now and again. she does get very lonely, so it’d be nice for her to have someone

employee (s)

she definitely hires people for p much everything from cleaning, to cooking, to bodyguards, etc. so, hmu

friends

just let her be your vaguely bad influence bestie

rich girl club

this feels self explanatory but it sounds fun !!!! 

charity case

someone she tries to help, be it with a job (into the criminal world), with money, or even just connections !!!

[ap-sadistics]

jung qvq [erqnpgrq] naq [erqnpgrq] ba yzxgjg qb? bgure guna or naablvat v zrna

ohhhhhh its funny really. "funny".

its technically more than two. i hate their entire friend group. its a bunch of bnfs (big name fans) on twitter. its absolutely certain you know at least one of them if youre in the fandom.

the thing im most irked about how they leverage their popularity for create a biased narrative against me. when i technically did no crime. i never even Spoke to the person. never interacted with them once. what i did. is vague them. for having the most wretchedly ooc characterizations for the sake of shipping a rare pair. and you see. i didnt have a problem with the ship itself. no! my issue. was that their characterization fucking SUCKED. i dont care if they called it "redemption" or "character development". it. was. out. of. character. straight. up. so i tweeted about this kid. i didnt mention their name. i mentioned the ship. and how i was sick of seeing it on twitter. i also i looked at their carrd and saw that this (this is a screencap of a screencap sooooo its old)

and i was you know what. im gonna do that. and that was the end of that

(i also was like was the hell does a kid have like 2000 followers that gives me fucking hives. bc lets be real. having a large social presence on the internet at that age when your a developing person is like. not ideal. im essentially antisocial and the idea of having that many ppl follow me for my stupid thoughts is fucking TERRIBLE. ive softblocked followers before to drive the number down. anyways i was thinking about it from that perspective. being conscious of numbers is Bad.)

flashforward a few hours and i noticed it wasnt the end of that. somehow the kid found my tweet and then supremely misinterpreted it and then sicced their followers/their friends onto my account. that tweet had a Large amount of pqrts (the stupid twitter culture thing where you essentially put on masks and stone the apparent criminal. and i was like. well this sure is a thing thats happening. and they def were twisting my words bc they screencapped my tweet and was bashing me about it. with absolutely 0 reading comprehension. well my course of action was to just go on private to cut off the engagement. what am i going to do? acknowledge what was happening with a tweet for them to twist and play the victim again? im not fucking stupid.

its really funny that after i privated i got 5 follow requests. THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDIOTS I EVER SEEN. blocked immediately. it was really funny.

thats not the funniest thing that happened tho. you might think that *i* might be playing the victim and that what happened wasnt that big of a deal. it wasnt. but also it sucked still. anxiety causing. but anyways it wasnt just a the qrts. after i privated, one of them reported my account for suicide

this was the funniest fucking thing that happened to me. i was livid during this whole incident but this was the funniest fucking part of this ordeal. it was HYSTERICAL. for the record there was none of that kind of content on my account! this is the most mentally healthy ive been bc i wasnt in my old uni anymore. not that i ever even posted about the kind of stuff ever.

this is clearly a petty attempt at harassment right? because they couldnt stand having someone think they are annoying and that their ship sucks (i didnt before but i do think it does now bc this incident made me hate the ship actually. because im petty too! but at least im self aware about it.)

someone also sent a bad faith ask to my fucking art blog because they haaaaaad to chase me down to a different fucking platform to harass me more

and like. what happened to me only proved my point. that teens shouldnt have a large following. this teen definitely abused their power didnt they.

who do you think had the worse experience. me or them? whose the real victim here.

if you think im problematic for fucking saying i dont like a person in public without once mentioning a name? get fucked.

also this happened again. it happened a second time. bc i found out there was a l/m/k zine going on and i said im not joining it bc they were a part of it. once again unnamed. LIKE OBVIOUSLY? IM NOT GONNA JOIN? it wasnt like i was going to fucking make it explode. but people toooooooook issue. i dont get how they find the tweet so fast im convinced one or more of them or their lackeys is stalking me. i could be paranoid tho.

anyways bc this is a friend group, the kid is a friend of a certain somebody. a very well known somebody. and bc they fed all their biased retelling of the incident to this somebody. im blocked by a very funny account.

super inconvenient really

you see theres more to it than this incident tho. i have an issue with how these people engage with their follower base. but honestly its a product of the kind of social media platform that twitter is. they clearly value the number of followers they have and to say it doesnt go to their head would be a lie. theres other specifics tho thats old news. that im not willing to divulge to an anon. who are you and why are you asking about a tweet from 3 days ago anon. you have me fucking paranoid. im gonna trust the fact you used rot13. out of courtesy. but im wary.

you might be able to deduce who the pricks are from the things ive mentioned here. but im not gonna say who they are to an anon. i dont trust like that.

[dont-justdont]

okay just watched the second episode (what in hell is amc's schedules for the show im so confused) but here are my thoughts:

- overall light episode, there is some heavy shit but it was sort of light and fun, a nice break after the first one (which was a shit show, a very nice and pleasing one, but a shit show still)

- daniel is very right to ask about the baby because i, too, was sitting like "did you, or did you not, eat the goddamn baby louis" and i love that

- interesting way of seeing vampires go up in smoke, it's quite aesthetically pleasing tbh

- lots of very domestic and cute scenes between louis and lestat, a+ for that

- lestat is a non-discriminating king and im here for it

- loving the thrust that we begin to see between louis and daniel

- lestat being flirty gets a 12/10 i am no better than louis i love the man

- loved the scenes between louis and his sister she is just precious (although it's gonna hurt like hell when she realizes)

- i really liked the quick little gender-sex-race conversation they had, also louis is right i dont like the way lestat calls him a fledgling that's weird

- i LOVED the coffin scene where lestat apologizes i dont know why but to me that was one of the funniest shit ive ever seen

overall i think thats it, i dont think ill make another in-depth post about this episode but who knows i may come in the next days

also here are my predictions for next episode :

- louis burns his business down

- his mom finds out and he cant stay near his family anymore

- we get claudiaaaaa (im in a love-hate relationship with her but cant way to see her)

- lots and lots of blood? (although that might just be the next one where we see claudia starting to be... well claudia)

so yeah this is the calm before the storm... cant wait, alright byyye

[kururu666]

lois might b my fav blog on here every time i think i should unfollow she posts the funniest thing ive ever seen

[emotargaryen]

this might be the funniest comment on a post ive ever seen in my life. fork found in kitchen