#THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR NO REASON BUT SO WORTH

[harrywavycurly]

What You Deserve Part 12: Is This You?

Masterlist: Here

CW: Mentions of death

Tag List: @littlered0000 @saramelaniemoon @ali-r3n @sapphire4082 @sweetmoonlove0214 @eddies-girl-22 @darknesseddiem @peaches-roses-sins @blckburd @comeonatmebruh @daisy-munson @cultish-corner @mrsjellymunson @aol19 @micheledawn1975 @2000babies @marshmallowgem @ang3lc @angelina16torres-blog @transparentenemypenguin @alilstressyandlotdepressy @josephquinnsfreckles @plk-18

A/N: This is going to upset a lot of y’all for possibly two reasons but trust me it hurt my heart to even write it, but I still hope you enjoy✨

“So what did you think of the class?” “It was…good…nice yeah…you looked good…really uhm good…yeah…” “thank you….but I meant did you think it helped you at all?” “Oh right…yes…I did uh…learn some good stuff and I think if I took a few more classes I’d feel a little better about uhm…being home…alone more.” “Well you’re more than welcome to come to the next one or…even just a regular kick boxing class if you’re interested?” “Oh that sounds fun…uh where…are we going? This is-” “where I grew up…” “you grew up here?” “Yup…right…here actually…” “it looks nice…is that the van you’ve been working on?” “Yeah that’s her…she’s nearly done…would you like to go inside?” “Oh uhm yeah yeah…let’s go.”

“This isn’t what I was expecting the inside of this trailer to look like.” “I had it upgraded last year…but something tells me you would’ve liked the way it looked originally…” “how did it look? Not that this isn’t nice…it’s very well done whoever did it-” “I did…I didn’t want anyone else to mess with it…so I just did it when I had time….took me a while but it was worth it.” “You like doing things yourself don’t you?” “Only important things…like this…and the van…” “and Dave…you fixed him yourself.” “Well he’s pretty important isn’t he?” “I think so…but you really grew up here? Was it just you and your parents?” “Me and my dad yeah…Wayne.” “Wayne? That’s a good name for a dad…I like that name.” “It is a good name isn’t it? That’s why I named the garage after him…it felt like a name people would trust leaving their car at…he was a great mechanic…taught me everything I know.” “I agree…naming the garage Wayne’s Auto Shop was a smart choice…that’s a huge reason why I started taking Dave there.” “That makes sense…I think you and him would’ve gotten along really well.” “How long has he uhm….been gone?” “About three years…but uh feel free to take a look around…” “Okay…I have your permission to be nosey?” “Yes…open all the drawers and snoop through all the cabinets you want to sweetheart it’s fine.” “If you say so…”

“Eddie?…Eddie is this…is this you?” “Oh yeah…yeah that’s me and the Hellfire club from high school…you know a few of those kids like that’s…Dustin…and Mike…and Lucas.” “That’s cool and all but is that your hair that’s down to your shoulders?” “Yeah…I used to have long hair for a while until I got tired of wearing it up for work so I just cut it….why do you look like you want to cry?” “You had…this beautiful hair and you just chopped it off?” “I mean I can grow it out again if…you want? I just got tired of it and wanted a change that’s all.” “You’d grow it out for me? Really?” “It’s just hair sweetheart…if you want it long then sure…I’ll let it get long…where did you find this picture anyway?” “In the back bedroom…can I ask…what are we doing here?…really?” “Uh well…I know you don’t feel comfortable being alone at your house…because of William and…I wanted to show you this place because if you want…you could…move in…” “I could move in here?” “If you want? William doesn’t know this place even exists so you’d be perfectly safe…not that you aren’t safe at your house now but I just want you to feel comfortable being alone…so just know this is an option if you want it.” “This is huge Eddie I couldn’t just…move in here…this is your house.” “Baby does it look like anyone lives here?” “No but…this is where you grew up and you probably have tons of memories here and-” “I do…I have lots of great memories of living here…but I took those memories with me when I moved out a long time ago…so now you can come in and make some of your own…in a place that you feel comfortable and safe in…because I know everyone in this park so trust me…you’ll be safe here.” “I’ll think about it…” “okay…that’s totally fine take all the time you need.”

“So…this is the van huh? She’s nice…smells like weed in the back though…” “That’s probably because I used to drive this around to make drug deals at house parties and offered customers the back seat to get high in for an extra fee.” “Ah so you’ve always been a business man then?” “Oh yeah….I’ve always found a way to make a living..now I just do it legally.” “Steven told me you used to be an asshole….is that true?” “I was an angry teenager…I used to be mean to people before they got the chance to be mean to me so yeah…I was an asshole.” “I can’t imagine you being mean on purpose…” “Well good thing you didn’t know me back then sweetheart because I probably would’ve made you cry…Wayne always used to get on my ass about the way I treated girls…” “really? But you’re…you’re so…amazing?” “Now I am…because I finally became the man I was meant to be instead of the one I thought I wanted to be…” “and that’s because of Wayne?” “Yeah…we had a rough few years right before I graduated high school…I used to just yell at him and he’d stand there and take it…and then he’d just hold me while I cried and told him I was sorry…he always used to tell me he knows the man I can be if I’d only stop fighting it…so I just…stopped fighting it.” “Well thank god for Wayne because…I quite like the man you are right now…” “yeah…thank god for Wayne…ready to go sweetheart?” “Yeah…I’m ready…thanks for bringing me here Eddie.” “You’re welcome…thanks for listening.” “Anytime…I like listening to you talk about your dad and your wild high school days.”

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.3 K Warnings: ANGST! Prompt: Vixen tries to survive in the snow while Remus desperatly tries to find her. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 46: Comfortably Numb

Well, hold on, my darling This mess was yours Now your mess is mine

You had woken up hastily after seeing Nina, your eyes snapping open in hopes she really was there, but there was no one, just more snow, gently falling on top of the white layer already covering most of the fields. Your eyes started to close again until you felt something on your nose, you opened your eyes only to see a blue butterfly. 

But here? In the snow? You wondered as you saw its wings bat desperate, tired, and cold. You could feel the crisp taping of paper-like, frozen delicate things against your cheek and lashes, urging you to open your eyes back up, to wake up and fight. 

You moved your hand towards your face and the butterfly gingerly jumped to your finger, “You must be cold,” you whispered. You felt cold too, although it wasn’t as cold as before. In truth you were so tired and numb, you barely registered how cold it was until you felt her wings flapping against your cheeks. 

“If I had my wand I could make us a fire,” you said, “but that was taken away from me, to help someone who helped me get here… You can stay by me if you want…” you added as you let your hand fall on your lap carefully. The small butterfly flapped their wings again, desperate to get your attention. 

“Not warm enough, is it?” You asked and sighed. “I’ll try to get us there then,” you said as you pointed at the shack, you knew it would be warm. It was hard to get up, the stunning spell and how tired you were at this point had taken a toll on you. Your movements were strained and languid, it took you a full minute to stand. The butterfly kept flying around you, desperate. You extended your hand to help and she flew towards your shoulder, sitting just over the sleeve of your dress. 

Oh right, you were only wearing a dress, perhaps that was the reason it was so cold. You managed to walk all the way to the door, with a slow and steady pace, but once you reached, the door wouldn’t budge. It was firmly closed, and you didn’t have your wand to pry it open, you didn’t even have the penknife you had made for Sirius. You leaned your back against the doorframe, you felt so tired. 

“Looks like we’re staying out here, Blue,” you said as you looked at the butterfly, who flew rapidly towards your face in response. You sighed, “You wouldn’t make it, would you?” you asked and pushed yourself off the door, searching for another way in. That’s when you spotted one of the crossed-out windows. Perhaps if I try hard enough…

You used the walls to step down from the stairs and walked towards the window. It was covered with wood, but one of the slabs seemed at least slightly rotten, so you grabbed that one, ignoring the splinters digging into your palms and pulled. 

Nothing happened. You frowned, took a deep breath and pulled again. There was a creaking sound, but the wood was still firmly glued to the side panels of the window. You nodded, hyping yourself up as you tried again. One, two, three, PULL! 

The piece of wood came along with you as you stumbled back a good few steps. You looked at it and smiled, throwing the wood on the floor and leaning against the window. It was still as messy as you remembered, but the clouding against the window meant it was warm. You grabbed a fist full of the flowy fabric of your dress and punched on the window, you felt it shatter as your fist went through the crystal. When you pulled your hand back you allowed your dress and the tiny shards of glass to fall onto the snow. 

You turned around and pushed your hand towards the butterfly. She placed herself in the middle of your palm and you carefully brought her inside. She seemed even more active once inside the warmer climate and you smiled. At least you could save a butterfly. 

You swallowed again and tried to pull the wood slab just over the one you had managed to rip out earlier but it was useless, the wood wasn’t as putrid as the other one, and it was firmly nailed onto the window. You huffed and tried again, but the result was the same. The butterfly seemed to be flying desperately as it watched you struggle.  You sighed after trying one more time and allowed yourself to fall on the floor, your eyes closed when you felt the flapping of the wings against your cheeks again.

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you stared at it. “Go back inside, it’s warm, you’ll diе out here.” 

The butterfly stubbornly flew around you. It couldn’t talk, but if it did, you’d imagine it would be telling you the same thing you were trying to tell it. You sighed and stood up, helping her back inside. “I’ll find safety,” you promised as you looked at her. “But you need to stay inside.” 

The butterfly refused. You carefully hurled her back inside. It wasn’t easy but you were gentle enough not to hurt her. Once she was inside you dug down and grabbed some snow, attempting to close the hole you’d made with it. You dragged the snow from the sides of the sill and pressed them against the opened area, ignoring the sharp pain when a shard of glass dug into the side of your palm. Or perhaps it was more than one, your hand was too numb to feel it all. 

Once you made sure the butterfly wouldn’t be able to follow, you took a deep breath and focused on the snow. You used a similar spell to the one you had used on the snow fight, but rather than a projectile, you used the same type of magic to make sure the snow wouldn’t melt for a while. The butterfly was fluttering madly inside, as if desperate to come back out. 

“It’s all right,” you reassured, “I’ll find a way to safety, I promise.” You smiled faintly and then turned around. If you couldn’t get inside the shack, then the closest way to safety was through the forest. You weren’t scared, you knew the most dangerous thing that roamed it already, and he wasn’t around tonight. 

You looked up at the sky, the stars were impossibly bright, and the moon was waning. The path towards the forest was dark, but illuminated enough for you to see your way. You took in a deep cold breath and decided that if you’d have to get to the castle either way, you might as well do it now. 

The snow was hard and freezing, your feet hurt as you tried to raise them so you were pretty much dragging them through the thick and cold snow. With no shoes, they felt colder than ever, you could barely feel them at this point, but you kept walking. 

You fell more than once, but the ghost memory of the Blue flapping her wings against your cheeks got you to stand again. To keep walking, to keep fighting. But the castle seemed so far away, and the cold snow appeared as a welcoming blanket every time you stumbled onto it again. It was tempting, awfully tempting to just allow yourself to fall on it, to let it slowly drape over you and to become numb, not only your body, but your mind as well. 

When would they find you if you did? In a week when they realised you were gone? In a month when other animals dug you out of the snow desperate for something to eat? In months? After the weather grew warm and the insects had made your skin their home. You wished you could shudder at the sombre thoughts, but the snow still looked beguiling. 

Perhaps she would wash away your thoughts, perhaps she’d get rid of the pain inside like she had done with the one outside. The soft, white blanket, ready to wrap itself around you until you were completely swallowed by it, until you were one with it, and nothing more. 

But the memory of the butterfly got you up again, you’d have to go back to help her out, if you stayed in the snow, then she would stay in the shack, and the two of you would be nothing more than a memory. 

Remus had run to the Whomping Willow the second he pocketed the mirror. He didn’t even bother hiding the fact that he was going out at night, he didn’t sneak out, he didn’t care if he got detention, he didn’t care if he got expelled. Not after what Sirius had told him. Not after hearing how you were sitting on the snow, with your eyes closing and with the same cold he felt, so heavy around him. The snow was falling so hard he couldn’t see more than a few metres ahead, and he was scared. 

No, Remus was terrified, as terrified as he had been that night you’d discovered he was a Werewolf, as terrified as he was when he saw you fall from your broom back at the game, as terrified as that night you insisted on turning into Vixen alongside the rest of the Marauders to be with Moony.

He had been terrified of losing you then, and he was hysterical over feeling the exact same way now. He sprinted towards the tree, not thinking twice if he would get hit by one of its branches as he ducked and jumped to get to the hole. He slid down and ran, so fast his legs cried for him to stop, his heart drumming in his ears and his breath short. It took some time, but when he finally made it, when he found the door, he busted it open and walked inside. He didn’t waste time, walking towards the entrance and using his wand to open the door. 

“Sirius said you’d be there,” he whispered as he looked at the empty fence. The snow had already covered your tracks, but he could smell the same urgent, scared and terrified scent of you he was already familiar with. He looked around and spotted the wood slab you had ripped from the window. He could smell bIood on it and he cringed, taking it in his hands only to spot small droplets of it over the sides. He winced at the thought of you hurting yourself and then dropped the wood and looked around again. The snow, being so thick, had easily erased your steps, but even if he couldn’t see, he could smell. 

His senses weren’t as keen as they were close to the moon, he wasn’t as good at tracking as Moony was, but if there was a time to take advantage of his abilities, it was now. He closed his eyes and focused on you. It was hard at first, the snow was thick and cold and his nose was freezing, but he managed to spot you, a trace of you. When he opened his eyes again, they were way more golden than normal, and he sprinted towards the source of the smell. He ran, ignoring the snow that had slipped inside his Converse, ignoring the complaints of his bones. The moon had been only days ago and he was still rather sore, but he ran.

By the time he spotted a faint dark dot in the distance, he was already panting, but he pushed through and sprinted all the way to you. By the time he reached you, you were kneeling on the floor, slow breaths and looking up, attempting to stand again. He kneeled in front of you and took you a minute to really see him, thinking for a moment it was just another game your mind was playing on you. 

“Rem?” you asked, voice cracked and barely a whisper. 

“Merlin, you’re all right,” he said as he dragged you towards him. You weren’t all right. You felt as cold as the place surrounding you. Remus panicked as he held you close to him. And he took off the coat he was wearing to wrap it around you. 

“No, it’s cold, you use it,” you slurred as you shivered. Remus gave you a sympathetic look. 

“I’m going to carry you, I think I can apparate you back in the Shack,” he explained. 

“It’s closed, can’t open it…” you said as you shook your head, not quite thinking. “Must get to the castle, it’s safe,” you said, you had told yourself that over and over again as you walked, you were merely repeating it now. Not even thinking Remus could probably crank the door open if he wanted to.

“You don’t have your wand?” he said as he pulled you up from the floor and slung one of your arms around his shoulder. You shook your head in response. “I’m going to pick you up now,” he added as he passed his arm under your legs and pulled you up with ease. “I have my wand,” he added reassuringly, handing it over to you, he knew it would make you feel better.  

And then he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and concentrating on the Shack. The shape of the walls, the window covered by wooden slabs, the run-down chimney and the scuffed floors, once the image was neat enough, he followed Dumbledore’s instructions, the world dissolved around him only for him to appear in the shack. The first thing he did was let you down on the floor carefully and make sure he hadn’t accidentally splinched you. 

“You alright? Anything hurts?” He asked as he placed his hands on your face to check on you. They were warm and kind, incredibly reassuring to your still-fuzzy mind. You couldn’t have been dreaming that, could you? 

You focused your gaze on his, still rather dazed and shook your head. He placed his hand over yours and took hold of the wand, closing the door with a short wave of it and then turning the fire to help the room heat up slowly. 

He took a look at you, your skin was dull with the cold, the colour fading and stale. Remus carried you again and dragged you towards the room, the torn sheets from a few nights back were still on the bed and he sat you there slowly. He asked you a few questions, and you responded automatically, too numb to think properly. 

“Luv, you’re not even listening to me,” he complained as he pulled your face into your hands. You blinked and tried to focus on him again. 

“Sorry,” you mustered. 

He sighed. “Listen, I’m going to give you my jumper, and then I’ll check your hands up. We need to warm you up slowly, okay?” 

“It is cold,” you responded as your teeth clung together. 

Remus took off his jumper and helped you put it on top of your dress. The dress was cold, but he used a spell to have it warm up slowly as he laid you on the bed. “Is it better?” 

You nodded, jaw still quivering from the cold. Remus took a short breath and pulled your hands towards his. Some of the splinters of wood were still stuck in your hand and he was careful as he started to remove them. Your hands were cold and he could see small –now melting– crystals of bIood attached to certain sections of your palm.  When he was done, he used a spell to aid the healing process, your hands had just started to get their warmth back when he heard a heavy breath coming from you. 

You had fallen asleep. Peaceful, but still shivering. He frowned and pulled the mirror from his pocket. Sirius, taking the wand from the bed and using it to send to shine a light, Sirius instantly peaked his head on the other side. 

“How is she? Is she okay?” Sirius mouthed desperately. 

Remus smiled and nodded, showing him your sleeping figure. “She’s cold,” he explained. “I’m trying to warm her up.” 

“Hug her!” Sirius said instantly. “Cuddle her! You’re always warm!” Remus gave him a questioning look. “You always cuddle her, it’s no different.” 

It was very different. Remus had never cuddled you without Sirius in the bed too. James beside Sirius nodded supportingly. He didn’t see the issue, he’d cuddle you if it was necessary. Of course, James saw you as a friend and nothing more. 

Remus nodded and left the mirror on the table, promising the boys he’ll talk to them later, with the radio to explain it all better. Then he leaned onto the edge of the bed. “Little Witch,” he called softly. 

You didn’t react, eyes still closed and breathing slow. He placed a hand on your face, it was warmer, but still colder than it should be. He played with a bit of your hair and placed it behind your ear, allowing his fingers to brush over your face, “Little Witch,” he called again. 

You were beautiful, even in the cold, even with the shivers, Remus thought you looked stunning. He wondered how you must have looked when you stepped into that party, with your hair perfectly arranged and your makeup freshly done, definitely a sight to behold. And then he sighed, here he was ogling at you while his best friend –your boyfriend– was at home, worried for his girlfriend. Asking him to cuddle you, and yet he felt doing so would be akin to betrayal, just because of how much he liked you. 

“Little Witch,” he said again, this time you hummed, your eyes opening slightly, unfocused. “I think I should cuddle you to warm you up faster, is that okay?” 

“It is always okay for you to cuddle me,” you responded, not quite thinking, and closing your eyes again before you noticed the blush on Remus’ cheeks. You couldn’t have meant that, or perhaps you did, in which case you really thought of him as your closest friend, which in turn, made him feel even worse. 

Remus carefully climbed onto the bed and under the covers. He was on the side, and hesitated a little before leaning in to cuddle you. Most of the time, it was you and Sirius that leaned into him, not the other way around. He never wanted to seem invasive, and he really only moved you around when you were Vixen. It was easier to think of the two of you as different entities instead of the same.

But you leaned back to him almost instantly, allowing your head to rest on one of his arms and pulling the other one around you. You seemed a lot more comfortable, the shivering reducing significantly. It took a minute for Remus to untense, but eventually, he relaxed on to you, even daring to bring you closer as he rubbed his hand over your clothed arm to try and warm you up faster with the friction. Eventually, he too fell asleep. 

When he opened his eyes again, you weren’t there. He stood up in an instant, terrified you had been a dream, that he hadn’t found you in the snow and that for some twisted reason, you were still out there freezing. But then he spotted the silhouette of a shadow, and he looked ahead. Crouched, looking impossibly small, you sat next to the fire, using a poker to liven up the flames, arm wrapped around your legs and using both his jumper and his coat to warm yourself up. He couldn’t see your face, but the way you were breathing… it looked like you had been crying. 

He pulled the covers off of him and dragged them alongside himself as he sat next to you. He didn’t make a sound as he placed the covers around the two of you, and he hesitated before placing his hand on your forehead, then allowing it to slide down your cheek, and letting his thumb brush under your chin. You were a lot warmer now.

You didn’t react, you allowed him to touch you as you continued to stare at the fire. The dancing flames reflecting onto your glassy eyes. 

Your temperature had risen, the cold was no longer clouding your mind, and you had struggled to hold back the tears for at least half an hour before you decided to step out of bed, hoping not to wake Remus up with your sobs. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, not after what you’d done, after what you’d caused. You didn’t deserve to cry.

“Little Witch?” Remus asked, tilting his head to the side when you attempted to blink back some tears. 

You swallowed thickly, did you even deserve such an endearing nickname? 

“Hey,” he leaned a little closer, placing a hand on your shoulder, you avoided his gaze, how interesting did the dancing flames seem, with their hues of yellow, red and bright white, with the sparkling bits floating off until they disappeared, with the ash of the wood piling at the bottom. It clearly hadn’t been cleared in a while. 

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Love, whatever happened, I won’t judge you, you know that, right?” 

It was as if he had guessed your thoughts, Remus had always been incredibly perceptive, you sometimes underestimated just how much. But Remus understood, he understood exactly what you were feeling because he had played the scenario where he accidentally hurt those he loved over and over again in his brain for years. 

And while he didn’t know much, Sirius did tell him about the fire and about your mother’s passing.

He was looking at you with such a kind-hearted look, trusting and kind. Like he would give you the world if you asked –he would– and you couldn’t help but break. You disliked being vulnerable, you hated having to show said vulnerability, but with Remus looking at you like that, with the night you’d had, perhaps allowing yourself to cry in front of your best friend wouldn’t be so bad. You knew Remus wouldn’t judge you, at least not for crying. 

“Love?” he asked, you sobbed. Your face slowly scrunching up as you sniffed. It was hard to breathe as you opened your mouth to take in some air and then you sobbed again. 

“I kiIled them,” you said, barely managing to open your eyes to look at Remus straight in the face. You wanted to see his reaction, half expecting him to pull back, to look at you in disgust, to recoil from you and to leave you crying alone in the room. A part of you wanted that, the part that wanted to cry and break everything, the one that needed to be alone. 

But Remus didn’t do any of those things, instead, he opened his arms and wrapped them around you, bringing you closer to him, “I don’t care,” he said honestly. 

You sobbed, and pulled back to look at him, “I kiIIed them, Remus!” you repeated, louder now. “My mum and Nina, they’re both dеad because of me!” 

You felt Remus’ breath slow down as he tightened his arms around you and dragged you back into the hug. He didn’t know about Nina. “Did you want to kiIl them?” he asked simply. He wouldn’t have pushed you away even if you had.

“No,” you said in a whisper. 

“Then it was an accident.” 

You sniffed, trying to push him off, but he tightened his grip around you, not allowing you to snap out of his embrace. “But I still caused their dеaths! I’m a murderer!” 

“I don’t care,” he repeated as he pushed you even closer to him. “I wouldn’t even care if you had done it on purpose, that would just mean they gave you a reason.” You sobbed, allowing the tears to slide down your cheeks, wetting the soft cotton shirt he wore. You didn’t realise it then, but it was the Sex Pistols shirt you had sent him as a gift. 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, you don’t need to tell me anything at all,” he said softly as he brushed his hand on your back and pulled you even closer, so close you ended up sitting on his lap as you leaned into him and cried. “But I’m here, darling. I’m here and you can cry with me all you need.” 

You had no idea how comforting it could be to cry with someone, you had always done it alone. But Remus was soft and reassuring, whispering calming words into your ears as he continued to brush his hands on you. Over your back, on your head, almost like he did when you were Vixen, but with more purpose now, it wasn’t about making Vixen get the smell of the pack, it wasn’t about making her warm, it was about making you warm. 

He was hugging you consciously,  brushing his hands over your body in an attempt to make you feel solace, and while his touch didn’t have the amnesiac ability the Lethe offered –and that you might have gladly drunk that night– he did offer a comfort like you hadn’t experienced in your life. Crying into Remus’ arms was like crying in a bed of soft, feathery clouds. Like the angels had come down to earth to commiserate you and absolve you of your wrongdoings. 

It was also comforting to know that no matter what, you had someone on your side. You had lost your father that night, you had kiIled your mother and your friend had diеd trying to protect you, even though Barty and Evan helped you escape, you had never felt so immeasurably lonely as you had while you tried to help that small butterfly, or when you had walked towards the castle, your feet on the cold snow feeling number as the minutes passed by. 

And then you ended up with Remus, hugging you and whispering how things would be all right, how Sirius and James had been worried and how happy they had been when he showed them you were all right. That no matter what you did, he wouldn’t leave, that Sirius wouldn’t leave and that your friends would be there for you. That you were part of them, and not even dеath herself could change that. 

You cried in your best friend’s arms until you ran out of tears. You told him in between sobs what had happened, and he had patiently listened to your rambling as he continued to hold you. He would tighten his grip when your breath ran short and your tears grew thick. Only to let it loose and look at your face when you relaxed into him again. He was warm, the cold you had felt initially almost completely forgotten in his embrace. 

“Thank you,” you whispered after a while, after telling him everything that had happened and after realising that, even then, he wouldn’t leave. 

“There’s nothing to thank me for, my love,” he said and dragged you closer to him. If anything, it should be him the one thanking you, for letting yourself be vulnerable in front of him, for trusting him enough to let him hold you and to cry into his arms. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, because holding you so tight shouldn’t make him feel as satisfied as he did, not when the reason he held you was how desperate and sad you were. 

And he felt your anguish, and he felt your pain, but that didn’t stop that small, touch-starved part of him from loving the fact that it was him the one that got to comfort you. That you clung to him for dear life, not to Sirius, not to anyone else.  

It was when your breath finally steadiеd that he realised you had fallen asleep again. He smiled and brought you back onto the bed. Cleaning the remaining salty water from your cheeks as he brushed your hair and accommodated you again. Your eyes were slightly swollen, you certainly looked like you had been crying, but he was sure Sirius would still be worried. 

He called him through the mirror again, he wrote a short note, telling him about you waking up and about being very upset, that you had been the one to cause the Fiendfyre and that you were very tired. That you were finally warmer and that he’d see if it was possible to call him later when you both went back to the castle.  

Sirius was a lot more relaxed now, especially when he saw Remus lying next to you in the bed. You had cuddled against the boy in the same way you cuddled to Sirius sometimes. He thought it was endearing, even if you were hugging someone else. It made him a lot more relaxed to think you weren’t alone, he had been alone many times. And you were with Remus, big strong and calm Remus, everything would be all right. 

By the time you woke up again, there was light filtering through the slab-covered windows. Beams of bright yellow reflected onto the worn-out floors, you looked at it for a minute, enjoying the warmth and almost pushing yourself back against the firm figure behind you. It was comfortable, peaceful, and reassuring, you realised there was an arm around you as well, keeping you close to them and to their warmth. 

You looked at the spores floating in the light beams, dusty, you thought as you stared, it took you a moment to really gather where you were, who you were with and how you’d ended up there. You had slept, you had slept a lot and yet you felt tired. The toll of the previous night, the weight of your now dried tears, still heavy in your mind. 

Did you want to cry again? Did you even deserve to?

What else could you do if not that? 

“You’re awake?” Remus’ groggy voice asked from behind as he brushed a piece of hair off your face, immeasurably soft and tender. 

“I was trying to convince myself it all had been a nightmare,” you replied with a sad, breathy laugh. 

Remus shook his head, “You’re in a better mood, I see.” 

“At least I’m not out there freezing anymore…” There was a bit of silence, and then your brain started working again. 

Wait a minute… how did he find you? 

You turned around hastily, Remus almost pulled back from how close your face was to his now, but he stayed where he was, he didn’t want to push you away by making any harsh movements. 

“How did you… How did you know I needed help?” 

“Sirius,” Remus admitted. You frowned, it still made no sense. Remus looked at you and then down at your neck, he could see the map charm hanging inside the necklace Sirius had given you. He picked it up and carefully rubbed his thumb over the original charm, “I think it has to do with this.” 

You looked at his hands with a frown, the charm looked much smaller in his hands than it did in yours, “The necklace from El Maleficio?” 

“I suppose Sirius never got around to telling you?” You gave him a confused look in response. “He’s got a burn on his hand, the moment he touched it, something happened, the man in the store said it was connected to him now, he assumed it was some sort of bIood magic or something.” You listened to him attentively as he continued, “he had an awful nightmare, he was seeing everything from your point of view.” 

You swallowed, “So… he knows everything…” you said, there was a horrified expression on your face, as if Sirius knowing would be the end of your relationship. 

“He asked me to get you after he saw Barty use the stunning spell,” Remus added. “He was worried.” 

“Worried? Not angry not–” 

Remus shook his head, knowing exactly what you meant. “You couldn’t get rid of us even if you went all Grindelwald, Little Witch.” 

“Merlin, I’d hope you would get rid of me if I went all Grindelwald,” you replied almost instantly. Still, the sentiment was nice, to know that you’d have them on your side, both Remus and Sirius, no matter what. You were lucky to have a boyfriend and a best friend like that. 

“Maybe lock you up in a cage until you reassessed your choices,” Remus joked as he turned to look at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to just stare into your eyes like he had been doing much longer without leaning in to kiss you. Oh, how he craved your lips sometimes. You shoved him lightly on the side and he made a rather exaggerated sound of pain. 

“Drama queen,” you said as you shoved him again. He shook his head and laughed, now you too turned to look at the ceiling. It was as worn as the floor, some of the paint peeling, some of it scratched and broken. You assumed that it had been Moony. 

There was a comfortable silence surrounding the two of you. You were warm as you lay close to him, but more than that, you felt safe. As if, now that you were with Remus, there was no danger, nothing could touch you in the small bubble inside the Shrieking Shack. You weren’t sure you wanted to step out, to face the real world. 

Would there be consequences? Would you be criminally charged? Could they even criminally charge you with all the things you had seen them do? 

“Sirius will probably want to speak to you,” Remus said. “I got him a radio for Christmas, there’s another one in our room, and we also use the mirror to see each other.” 

“You made holoprojectors? Like in Star Wars?” you asked curiously, turning your face to look at Remus’.

“Kind of,” he replied. “It’s not exactly the same, we don’t have holographic projections of each other but–” 

“–I bet you could do it!” you interrupted, “there’s bound to be a way in which you can use magic to make holoprojectors happen… at least until science catches up.” 

Remus knew what you were doing, you were completely avoiding the topic of last night, leaving it in the back of your mind, trying to ignore it. If you didn’t pay attention to it then, it couldn’t have been real. 

He wasn’t sure if he should let you, you had cried so much earlier, and while he loved to be the one to hold you, that didn’t stop the pressure in his chest as he saw you struggle. He didn’t want you to cry because it pained him to see you like that. 

“I assume we could,” he conceded. Perhaps he could let you ignore it for a little longer, for as long as you needed. You probably still had to process all of it. And there was a lot to process. You had told him everything, from the start of the night to the end of it, albeit in between sobs and sniffles, he had a pretty strong picture of all of it, perhaps stronger than Sirius’ who had lived part of it alongside you. 

After all, he had heard your feelings, not just seen what had happened. He knew what Evan and Barty had done for you, which had been perhaps the most surprising thing of the night, the fact that either of them had some sense of debt and that Evan felt he owed you something for not telling the truth to his father, which had just been basic human decency. 

“Do you want to go back to the castle?” he asked. 

“No,” you said honestly and pulled the raggedy covers over your head, they still kind of smelled like Padfoot, Vixen and Moony, that too was comforting. 

“You want some chocolate?” he asked. 

You peeked your head from the covers to look at him, your nose still covered but your eyes wide open and looking straight at him as you nodded. 

“You’re hungry, then?” 

You sighed and nodded. You weren’t sure you were in the mood to eat, but the rumbling in your stomach said otherwise. The toll of magic used the previous night was finally hitting you, and as your body worked to fill you with magic again, the used-up energy showed in the form of hunger, and meat craving. 

That craving had been gone for a while, the longer time you spent with Rem the more it seemed to go away, but today it had come back and it had come back strong. You wondered if it had to do with how much of your magic you had used up, or perhaps it was the moon, or Remus also wanted meat and he was projecting that onto you. 

If he had been the one to scratch you, did it make sense? There was not enough information on werewolves. 

“Then we must go to the castle.” 

You pulled the covers over your face again and dramatically buried your head in his chest. “No, Remus,” you said, voice muffled by his shirt. “Just give me the chocolate.” 

“I have no chocolate.” You dug your hand in his pocket. There was an empty wrapper. “Oi!” he complained as he squirmed to the side. 

Did he really have no chocolate? That was impossible. You didn’t really care much for his complaint and leaned a little closer, resting your elbow on top of him to check the other pocket. There was a folded piece of paper and nothing else. You placed the paper back in the spot and pulled the covers to look at him, still leaning half of your body on his. 

He had that very smug expression on his face that clearly said ‘I told you so’. 

“Are you done manhandling me?” he asked calmly. 

“No,” you said as you tried to lift him up to check his back pocket, but he didn’t budge. 

“There is no chocolate,” he repeated. “I have some in the castle, though.”

“Why do you insist on taking me there?” you asked with a pout, now letting your arms and head lay close to his sternum. 

“Because Pomfrey is there,” he said honestly. “You should get checked.” 

Your face turned cold, emotionless even. The little bubble you had allowed yourself to rest in completely bursting at the thought of going to the infirmary. Of getting checked, because last night had been real, because last night you had almost diеd frozen in the snow and then earlier attacked by Lucius or perhaps tortured by Bellatrix. 

“It’s okay,” Remus said kindly, resisting the urge to place his hand on your head and play with your hair reassuringly, “She won’t ask questions, she’ll just make sure you’re okay.” 

You took a slow controlled breath, your eyes watering as you avoided Remus’s gaze for a second, turning back to look at him as you wet your lips, they were dry and chapped from how much you’d cried. Going out seemed like an immense effort, like stepping back into reality and into the war. You’d have to talk to Dumbledore, or at least to Nightshade, you had to tell them about the dinner and about all the people you’d seen there. You couldn’t be sure if they were all dеatheaters, but they had definitely been accessories to the crimes committed. 

Should you let the papers know? Would they even care?

There were about a million things swinging inside your head and you were aware that you couldn’t just stay cooped up in Remus’ arms and ignore everything completely, but that didn’t make it any less tempting. Perhaps Remus was a lot more like the Lethe than you originally thought, not because he made you forget everything that’s happened, but because his company offered a solace enough to cloud those thoughts out of your mind. 

Ironically, there was nothing more calming than your friend the werewolf. Perhaps he was so calm and collected because he was a werewolf, spending all of his life with the goal of keeping his temper down and maintaining it in check. Like Bruce Banner, who was the calmest of superheroes (when he wasn’t the Hulk).

“Can we eat first and go to Pomfrey later?” 

“No,” Remus said simply. You pouted in response. “Not even with that pretty pout of yours, sweetheart, it is non-negotiable.” 

“But Remus I–” 

“You can have a chocolate first,” he said as he lifted his hips slightly and handed over a small bar of chocolate. 

You gasped as he passed it over to you, “You said there was no chocolate.” 

Remus shrugged in response and broke off a piece of the chocolate in your hands, bringing it to his mouth and plopping it in. You laid your head on his chest again and bit off a piece yourself. You still didn’t want to go, you wanted to stay in the bubble, but bubbles were beautiful because they were ephemeral. 

They were meant to burst and sparkle leaving traces of soapy water on the floor. And that’s exactly what you had to do now. You closed your eyes before standing up. You didn’t feel as sore as you thought you would, but when you stepped down on the floor you couldn’t stop the hiss that erupted from your mouth. Remus threw you a worried glance as he sat up on the bed “What is it?” 

You pulled your feet up to your knee, there were blisters, and peeling skin, like you had been burned. Of course, you had been walking with no shoes. You had gotten badly ice burned. Your knees weren’t much better either. You hadn’t noticed since your dress covered most of them, and the emotional pain had been much worse than the physical one last night but they were also scuffed, a section already getting a scab while the other was just badly bruised. 

Remus leaned over your shoulder to take a better look, “And you wanted to eat first.” 

“I’m still hungry,” you said, trying to distract yourself with Remus’ calming smell instead of thinking about how you’d gotten those. Probably when Bella stunned you and–

“Can you walk?” 

“Of course I can walk,” you responded as you stood up. Did it hurt? Hell-a-fucking-lot. Could you manage? Well, you’d have to.

“Sure?” 

“Very,” you responded, avoiding gritting your teeth against one another completely.

You wished you had your wand, perhaps you could use some pain reliever spell or something. Remus stood up and put on his boots. You handed him his jumper and coat, he returned the latter one to you “Keep it, it’s cold outside.”

In reality, Remus was the last person to want to burst the bubble you’d created. If it was on him, he’d have stayed with you in the Shack ‘til the end of time. He loved how much closer you had veered to him, while during the night it had been for warmth, once awake he knew it was you, purposely laying your head on his chest and digging through his pockets.

He was also happy to see you. Or at least glimpses of you, not that broken, and terrified version of you he’d met the last night. He loved both the same, but there was nothing more heart-wrenching than your sobs and nothing more warming than your laughs, even if they were still slightly strained.  

You put the coat on and the two of you walked towards the door and entered into the hallway. The sprinkle of soapy water falling as you both stepped into the dark. The beautiful, and warm environment instantly switched for the colder and unforgiving passageway you’d have to walk through to get to castle grounds.

Bring me to your house and tell me "Sorry for the mess", hey, I don't mind You're talking in your sleep, out of time Well, you still make sense to me, your mess is mine

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A/N: I feel like I've had you guys at the edge of your seats for two weeks and now you can finally breath. Gosh, Remus is insanly sweet~ How can I manifest a person like this in my life?

Read more Marauders Fiction

[midnight-black2]

im really okay with this being published on may. since its farleigh start related. but...

shy and nerdy dom!reader and farleigh start in oxford. where farleigh takes an interest on reader since they look absolutely innocent and cute. so he tries his hardest to get her in bed with him. which bites him on the ass bcos reader is a dom LMAO really caring tho. which kinda pulls on farleigh's heartstrings a bit 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 yk "youre the only person to do this for me" kind of trope but after hard core sex (im kidding... unless)

𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

pairing : farleigh start x reader

synopsis : read the req !!

disclaimers : sub!farleigh, dom!reader, smut with plot, fem!reader, kind of like degrading praise, p in v (imaginary condom, let's just pretend they had one bc i forgot to write it in), handjob (m!recieving), etc

note : since i waited so long to post this, i wanted to make it worth the while. enjoy 🫶🫶

for a college girl, her behavior was...curious, to say the least. she was oddly quiet; stuck to herself mostly. she had a few friends, if you could really call them that. for the most part, she was nowhere to be found, and that's exactly how she preferred it.

you couldn't find her at parties, or outings, or pubs. if you really wanted to speak with her, you would have to go to the very back of the library, where she would be sat at a desk, reading some book or doing homework. it didn't matter, though. the main reason people wanted to meet with her was a matter of tutoring, and most people at oxford didn't necessarily need tutoring.

for the most part, she was unbothered. until, farleigh start walked into her life. polar opposites, they were. when he had asked a counselor who the best person to tutor him would be, they had guided him to Y/N. and so, on a thursday evening, (7:43 pm to be exact), farleigh found you in the back of the school library, reading as you ate an apple as quietly as possible as not to disturb others.

he stopped in his tracks when he saw you. your hair pulled back into a low bun, a few strands sticking out. you pushed your glasses up the bridge of your nose as your eyes chased the words on the book pages violently quick. he furrowed his brows, with a confused grin. he didn't expect you to be so cute.

"are you...Y/N L/N?" he queried. you were seemingly startled, which made him chuckle to himself. your face twisted into an expression of utter bewilderment.

"yes...why do you ask?" you question, reluctantly.

"i was told to come see you..." he said, in a daze. after a few seconds of silence (and more confusion on your face) he broke from his reveries, and cleared his throat. he smiled, glanced at the ground, before his eyes trailed back up to yours. "i need tutoring."

you nodded, and slipped a bookmark in your book, before pushing it to the side. you took one last bite from your apple, before sitting up, walking to the trash, and throwing it away. once you sat back down, you tucked the unruly strands of hair behind your ears, before patting the empty seat to the right of you.

"do sit," you instructed, face calm and emotionless. and so, he sat beside you, his bright and rather bold choice of clothing almost looking ridiculous next to your dull browns and blacks. the juxtaposition was comical. "so is there particular homework you need help with? or would you simply like me to look through work you don't understand or...?" he smiled amiably, before nodding.

"i need help with some math homework," he replied, before digging through his backpack. you waited patiently, before he eventually set down two packets of homework on the table. you mentally sighed. you didn't quite feel up for the task, but he seemed nice, and you didn't want to let him down either.

"specific questions? or the whole thing?" you asked.

"the whole thing." okay so maybe he was fibbing. maybe he only said the whole packet so he could spend more time with you. so? so what? it's not like a little white lie ever hurt anyone. you took the first packet, and flipped through it. to your advantage, it looked fairly easy.

you began to explain the first problem, but he was hardly listening. you were solving it completely on your own, and whenever you would ask if he understood, he would form some distant "mhm" as a way of saying yes. you realized at some point, though. you realized this entire time (five minutes and twenty-eight seconds in fact--you had been watching the clock out of your peripheral) he wasn't looking at the paper, but you. you slowly turned to face him, and your cheeks became a rosy red, only slightly noticeable, but there.

"are you alright?" you asked, swallowing dryly. he nodded.

"yeah, sorry, you're just...you're so pretty. has anyone ever told you that?" he answered, gazing at you.

"uhm, no, not that i can remember," you said back. he laughed at that. he found you endearing, even charming, in your own unconventional way.

soon enough, one hour and fifty-eight minutes had passed (again, you had been glancing at the clock every now and then) and you finally made it through both math packets. you two began cleaning up, and packing your things.

"just so you know, i won't charge you this time, but any further sessions will be twenty dollars by the hour," you stated, matter-of-factly, as you placed your things inside your bag.

"wow, and here i was thinking you were doing this out of the kindness of your heart," he said, playfully. you smiled. it was a small one, but you still smiled.

"nope. everything i do has a catch," you said, matching his tone. and boy did he wish he would've remembered that...

after that, you two kept meeting. it wasn't intentional, but the world always seemed to place you two in the same spot at the same time. the interactions didn't differ from that of the one in the library. he was always flattering you, or finding a way to make you blush, and he found you incredibly cute. so much so, that he was determined to discover you. in other words--he wanted you under his bedsheets. so when one of your acquaintances, luna, had practically dragged you to some frat party saying it would "be good for you to get out," you weren't surprised to see him there.

he always seemed to creep up on you. you had turned around and were met with him, towering over you with that same complacent grin he always wore.

"is this real life? am i actually seeing Y/N L/N at a frat party? oh god, pinch me," he said, in a dramatic high-pitched voice. he described it as if it were a crime, and it was almost like it was. you smiled, and shook your head.

"yes, i'm actually here, though against my will," you responded, crossing your arms over your chest as you glanced at your friend who had found oxfords heartthrob, felix, and occupied herself with him. farleigh chuckled, as he kept his eyes trained on you.

"you look good, Y/N," he said, and, he was right, you did look good. your hair was--for once--out of its usual bun and falling down your shoulders gracefully. you had on a bit of eyeliner, and some lipstick which was the most makeup you'd worn all year. you were wearing a short long sleeved black dress. it was casual, but it looked so strikingly gorgeous on you. farleigh ran his eyes along your body, he certainly wasn't subtle, although he never has been.

"you make it quite clear," you said, with a brow quirk, as you swallowed. his eyes met yours again, a smirk forming on his face.

"good," he replied. there it was, he always seemed to reply just as quick as you did, there was no thought or effort, he simply matched your wit. he was the first person you had met to do so. then again, you hadn't met many people at oxford, so perhaps the judgement wasn't very fair.

"don't your, er, a thousand girlfriends await you?" you teased, crossing your arms across your chest. he raised his brows dramatically, with a gasp. it was sarcastic, you knew that much. you laughed.

"sure, girl friends, space between the words," he corrected, sassily.

"well excuse me then."

"yes, excuse you," he said back, tilting his head to the side. you smiled, before you caught luna chugging down alcohol you were pretty sure was either spiked, or someone else's.

"no literally, excuse me. i think my friend over there needs a bit of assistance. jesus, not even ten minutes here and she's already getting trashed," you said. he looked behind him, and saw luna stumbling and screaming. he laughed, and let you go.

after the whole luna situation was taken care of, you were pooped. which sucked, because surprisingly, in the ten minutes you had been talking with farleigh, you were enjoying yourself immensely. a lot people had cleared out, leaving the house more quiet than before. luna didn't want to leave quite yet, which was unfortunate for you since she was your ride here. luckily, though, you had planned for this and brought a book for entertainment. you just read the book as she flirted her way into guys lives. to your surprise, you heard an all too familiar voice speak from behind you.

"are you seriously reading a book at a party? you're such a dork," farleigh said, leaning over your shoulder.

"maybe i am. but it's more interesting than watching luna flirt with uncomfortable guys all night," you replied, flipping the page. he chuckled.

"fair," he began. "you know, i can think of more fun things to do, though." you placed the bookmark in your book, you were intrigued.

"yeah? like what?"

"you could come upstairs with me," he suggested, smirking. you cocked a brow.

"and do what, hm?"

"three guesses."

"talk, get drunk, or get high," you said, fully knowing none of those were correct answers.

"incorrect, Y/N. can't believe for the first time in the time i've know you, you got something wrong," he said, dramatically. you laughed. "i'm serious though, come upstairs with me." you didn't answer for a bit, how could you? you couldn't say no, but you shouldn't have said yes, either.

"please?" he begged, after you didn't say anything after a moment. you sighed, setting your book on the coffee table in front of you.

"you'd better make this worth my while, farleigh."

"i promise you i will, Y/N," he said, and you were sold. in a flash you two darted up the stairs and in a secluded room on the left wing of the house. you guys haphazardly made it inside the bedroom, making out feverishly. the air suddenly felt hot, and everything was so intense. from the way he cupped your face, to the way your hands rested on his hot skin. he was about to sit you down on the bed, attempting to exert some sort of control over you. you paused. oh no, no no no no no.

"what are you doing?" you asked, bluntly. maybe you read the situation incorrectly, but you definitely thought he was more on the submissive side. this was...an unexpected turn of events.

"is this...not what you had in mind?" he asked, stopping in his tracks. it's not like he would ever force you to do anything. still, he thought his feelings were more than mutual based off of the way you had practically lunged up the stairs with him. you snuck out underneath him, and for a second he was left dumbfounded. that was until you flipped positions, having him underneath you on the bed. his cheeks flushed, becoming a cute crimson color.

"this is what i had in mind," you replied, smirking. god, had he really been that dense? were you actually the top this entire time? did he really care? so many questions. frankly, he had never subbed before, and even though he didn't necessarily have to do anything for it (besides maybe let go of his pride), he was still nervous about it. after all, he would be a lot more vulnerable than usual. "i know this probably isn't your normal style, and if you're not willing to try it we can stop right now."

"when did i say i wanted to stop?"

"you didn't."

"so...proceed," he said, a bit hesitantly. you smiled, before you kissed his lips softly. it felt heavenly; the way your lips moved in sync. you treated him with care. it made his heart flutter in his chest.

eventually, you moved away from his lips and began trailing kisses down his jaw and to his neck. you sucked softly, leaving hickeys all over his smooth skin. he sighed at the feeling, biting back any and every urge to let out the soft whimpers he wanted to. your hand found its way to the zipper of his jeans, before you looked up into his eyes.

"do you want this?" you asked, only for good measure. you wanted to be sure.

"yes, fuck, obviously," he panted, with a sassy eye roll. you chuckled, before continuing. you carefully unzipped his pants. he helped you in the process, lifting his hips up so you could pull them down. he couldn't fully comprehend what was happening as your fingers traced around his prominent erection. his mind felt clouded and hazy. he had never been in this position before, but now that he was, he didn't think he'd ever want to do things a different way.

you palmed him through his draws, and he genuinely whined at the sensation. you were teasing him, and he hated it. you arched a brow, before going back up to kiss him on the lips.

"be patient, farleigh," you advised, before pecking him on the lips one last time. painfully slowly, you pulled his draws down, and his cock sprang up swiftly. goodness was he big. perhaps 9 to 9.5 inches. if you planned to properly fuck him, he would possibly split you open...i mean what the hell.

"like what you see?" he teased, breathlessly. you rolled your eyes, yet didn't respond. you simply thumbed at his tip (which was leaking pre), and that was enough to shut him up. you--finally--gave him what he so desperately wanted, and wrapped your hand around his cock. you started out steadily, up and down. he let out soft whimpers and whines as you did so. he threw his head back, his brows were beautifully furrowed.

your hand went for the hem of his sweater, and you pulled it over his head. he was now fully exposed, and he would have felt slightly embarrassed if he wasn't so fucked out already. your fingers accidentally grazed his nipples, and combined with the stimulation already given, he let out a loud moan. you kissed his cheek, with a smile.

"look at you enjoying yourself, hm?" you mumbled.

"oh shut the fuck up," he countered, breathlessly. you pumped him particularly rough when he said that, causing him to whine. "a-ah fuck." he felt himself growing nearer and nearer towards the edge, which was strange. normally, he would last longer, but there was something about you that made him want to absolutely make a mess of himself.

"s-shit Y/N, think m'gonna cum," farleigh warned, squeezing the sheets tight in his hand. and then? you halted.

"no no, why'd you stop?" he whined, shaking his head. you laughed in his face, and didn't respond. although, when you sat up, and he did the same and leaned against the headboard, he knew what was happening. you took off your pants and then your underwear followed. he couldn't help but look down, you were completely soaked. he swallowed anxiously. he didn't want to wait much longer.

"see that? you see what you do to me?" you asked, tauntingly. you definitely had a knack for making things known to him, and he went absolutely feral. he was growing more and more impatient.

"please, Y/N," he begged, gripping your waist in an attempt to ground himself. you wasted no more time, as you lifted yourself up, and then sat back down on his cock. your pace was pretty fast, merciless, even. he let out a guttural moan, and there was a slight arch in his back as he tried helplessly not to buck his hips upward. you groaned, he was so fucking big.

"you like that, farleigh? like me fucking you like this?" you asked. it was rhetorical, but he nodded eagerly anyways. you were quite animalistic, and he wasn't sure how you were able to fuck him so fast, but it felt euphoric. he cried out, as he shut his eyes.

"o-oh my god, fuck," he moaned. you placed your hands against his chest to leverage yourself. you wanted to go even faster, thought it seemed impossible. "i won't last long."

"fuckk," you groaned, brows furrowed. "you're good, it's fine. you're doing just fine f'me, farleigh." he could feel himself become undone, as you did too.

"w-wanna cum. can i?" he asked, pleading with you. his eyes were slightly teary.

"come whenever," you breathed out, not really caring at this point. you were simply chasing your own climax. soon enough, farleigh came with a frail cry, and shortly after you came too. your chests were heaving up and down, lungs working overtime to catch your breaths. your bodies were sweaty and sticky against each other, but neither of you cared. as he came down from his high, he couldn't help but feel special. that was his first time doing something like that. there was a long, comfortable silence, before farleigh spoke.

"nobody's ever done anything like that for me before," he said, looking up at you. you smiled softly.

"glad to be the first one then." let's just say, that it turned out to be more than a one time thing...

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

[thewebcomicsreview]

Woah, it's a hamsteak! Bit early this month, maybe they're splitting it into two parts (Edit: Apparently yes, per a newspost). They've been teasing a big [S] page for a while, probably where the game starts in Meat and The Point is revealed in Candy, and these updates seem like they're getting everyone in position for that. We're now done with the Ship and with DIrk, and we won't see either until the [S] comes, but we still need to pick up the kids and see what Karkat is up to, so I'm expecting this is a setup-heavy update for an [S] page...next month, on 6/12? Let's see.

KARKAT: KEPT YOU WAITING, HUH?

Candy Karkat is blatantly Solid Snake and I'm a bit surprised the old team never had him riff a Snake catchphrase. New team popping that cherry right off. Also, wow, Karkles got swole.

MEENAH: took you long enough bossman KARKAT: I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT WHEN WE'RE ALONE. MEENAH: big bossman KARKAT: NOT BETTER. MEENAH: sweetie-pirate KARKAT: BOSSMAN IT IS.

We're just going all-in on the Metal Gear references, but Meenah loses fishpoints for not calling him Big Bass. It's right there, Meenah.

KARKAT: AS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED THERE'S AN ESCALATING, LARGE-SCALE MILITARY CONFLICT UNDERWAY;

Is there? I hadn't noticed, because the war is entirely fucking offscreen in HS2, to the point where I'm really unclear on if it's huge open battles (as in the epilogues) or a terrorist insurgency (as implied by Jane's focus on PR, the lack of any on-screen fighting, and even here Karket saying he was blowing up "Crockercorp" supply depots instead of "human" supply depots). "Escalating" is an interesting word, though. I have a theory that Jane and Rose both don't consider any of Earth C's population "Real", and in Jane's mind she's basically just been larping as a bad guy up until her dad died and she got serious, and this is why Jane was seemingly cool with helping Jade raise Yiffy, even though Jade is a commander in the anti-Jane rebel army. Jane's going to just stop being evil on a dime and everyone but Rose and Jane are going to be baffled.

There was a writer commentary where they kept making jokes about doing this, but I guess it's real. Why is the Carapacian naked?

These guys, who are not guaranteed to survive to the end of the update, are already fucking great.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, COMPANIES 1 THROUGH 3 ARE IN PLACE. KARKAT: 4 THROUGH 6 ARE EN ROUTE.

Is this the first 413 in HS2? I'm surprised they're not using 612, the troll number.

KARKAT: ALSO THIS COVERT-OPS SUIT IS TIGHT AS ALL FUCK. MEENAH: well if its any consolation that may be rough for you but its a pretty great time to be your rear admire-all 38) KARKAT: MUCH OBLIGED.

The ship no one expected!

KARKAT: NOT LIKE DAVE. MEENAH: how you feelin about that

I know Karkat hasn't had a lot of screen time in HS2, and I know they've justified why this is coming up now, but as far as Karkat knows Candy Dave A. Married Jade, and then B. Died fifteen years ago. Has this really not come up in fifteen years?

SOLLUX: there's like a bazillion m0oks swarming ar0und my crib and none 0f the grubereats dudes are accepting orders right n0w. SOLLUX: probably 0n account 0f your inc0nvenient ass war. SOLLUX: could y0u pick me something up? SOLLUX: i'm assuming you're 0n your way.

Is this...the first on-screen interaction between Karkat and Sollux since Cascade in 2011? It was worth the wait.

KARKAT: MAYBE YOU'D GIVE MORE OF A FUCK ABOUT THE REPRODUCTIVE FUTURE OF OUR SPECIES IF ARADIA WAS EVER ACTUALLY THERE LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET SOME. MEENAH: ohhh snapper KARKAT: ANYWAY YEAH I CAN PROBABLY SWING THAT.

This is maybe the most Karkat interaction ever. He's furious for extremely good reasons, he's constantly insulting his friends, of course he'll swing his A-team war truck by McDonalds on the way to the war zone to get Sollux something. Doesn't even occur to him not to.

KARKAT: AND WE NEVER LET IT GO. LOB 4: Well said, sir! KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK. KARKAT: HOW LONG HAVE YOU ALL BEEN LISTENING? TER 2: Pretty much since the beginning, sir!

It's cool and thematic that these guys talk in Dave's colors but I'm unbelievably sad they don't have names.

KARKAT: COMMANDERS HARLEY, MARYAM, AND LALONDE ARE INBOUND, AND NOT LONG AFTER THEY GET HERE THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BATSHIT STUPID!

Last time we saw Vrissy, she was seeing Yiffy for the first time. I was expecting an update following up on that before the big everything coming together, but maybe they won't get a chance to talk yet

Because this sure feels like the last page before an [S]

Edit: But it isn't, the news post said another update this month.

[mirakurumew]

Hi guys I finally finished it

( EDIT: I FORGOR VALKS GLASSES SOB )

[diagnosed-anxiety-disorder]

Finished putting together a book-nook for my bookshelf! It’s called Sunshine Town :D

[avatarofwar]

Hirata Estate - Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

[doppelneer]

Me talking to my friend about my Season of Abyss AU at 3am

Two versions because yes

April fool's? More like I'm the one who is the fool.

Bonus backgrounds and things below :)

Mural with stuff behind it

Just the stuff (have fun looking at my mess)

The more elaborate mural

The inspiration from other places board

Bonus picture of my cat Sakura

[thistleation]

Beyond our Space and Starlight - Chapter 6: Entanglements

1 year, 4 months, 14 days. 

Holy shit. 

Holy shit, Beatrice was kissing her and Ava felt like all over her body she was on fire! 

Beatrice had her pinned against the wall with one hand on Ava’s upper arm and the other around her throat, and holy shit Ava might just melt into a puddle from how turned on she was. 

Ava had one leg wrapped around Bea’s. 

She hadn’t dared to hope for this. 

She nipped hungrily at Beatrice’s lower lip, Beatrice licked up into her mouth in retort and Ava shivered. She felt it travel all the way down her spine. 

She’d been flirting shamelessly, yes, but she’d been expecting like… a shy confession or something! 

Ava grabbed the front of Bea’s shirt and pulled her in close, their bodies grinding together. 

She’d been expecting furtive glances, she’d been expecting Beatrice to vaguely allude to potential feelings. 

The fingers around her throat tightened, Beatrice’s mouth turned even hungrier and Ava could feel her excitement making her slick. 

She’d been expecting handholding for fuck’s sake! 

It still didn’t quite feel real, but if it was a dream Ava was going to extract every ounce of pleasure that she could from it. 

Only moments later though, she felt Beatrice’s grip loosen and retreat, felt fire wane and the doubt creep in. She began to pull away, and Ava could sense the ghost of an apology start to form on her lips. 

Ava would be having none of that. 

Before she could get a single word out, Ava grabbed her wrist and pushed the hand that had been at her throat firmly back into place. 

Beatrice looked a little taken aback, her train of thought suddenly interrupted.

“Oh.” she blinked. 

Then slowly, as the implications of what just happened sank in for both of them, Beatrice’s expression turned sly and dangerous. 

“Oh…” she smiled, and her fingers (deliciously) adjusted their grip on Ava’s throat once more. 

Ava swallowed, realizing just how much she’d just tipped her hand, how much of the power in this exchange she’d ceded. She’d basically handed Beatrice the keys to her…

… 

… ‘heart.’ 

“Okay—” Ava started, “— I just want to clarify, that, despite appearances, I’m not actually that—” 

Beatrice took a half step closer, pushing one of her legs between Ava’s, and a whimper broke free from Ava’s throat with pathetic ease. 

“Sorry did I interrupt you? It felt like you were saying something.” 

Oh Bright, just fuck her already. 

No. 

No, she couldn’t give up that easily. 

“I… just wanted to say, that as fun as this is, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression,” she had no idea why she was trying to deny the obvious except for some notion of principle? A refusal to admit how much a single kiss had wrapped her around Beatrice’s finger? “Just this is fun, but it’s not affecting me THAT much.” 

Beatrice did not look like she bought in the slightest, but Ava kept going. 

“It’s just… enjoyable, but don’t read too much into—” she gasped as Beatrice’s fingers slid up under her shirt onto her bare stomach, “— it,” she finished lamely. 

“Hmmm, are you sure of that?” Beatrice’s fingers flexed gently against her skin, making Ava feel tingly all over. 

Ava was about to affirm herself when Bea’s hand began to turn, her fingers going from pointing upwards, slowly beginning to describe a semi-circle down. 

Ava’s eyes went wide and her heart began to pound as she realized what Bea was going to do. 

“Quite sure?” 

Ava’s mouth worked soundlessly, she couldn’t get the words out. 

Beatrice’s fingers now reached the nadir of their arc, the very tips slipping under the waist of her pants. 

“Well?” She asked expectantly, giving Ava every chance to back out. 

“Positive.” Ava managed to say. 

Read the rest on Ao3

[solsticethebatearedfox]

when u really really desperately ship a ship bc projection juice (aka using said ship as a means to work through your own internalized shit about being aroace) vs your desire to respect characters canon identity and not erase what limited representation people have

[siarexkh]

Shirtless Finan, save me 🥴🛐

[starburstsobsessions]

been swooning over her since 2020 💕 (I still have not 100% it I just stare at her all day)

[mischas]

Something that pisses me off more than anything is the sentiment from anti-Marissa/Ryissa fans that Marissa “dragged Ryan into all her drama, which is why she was no good for him.” Please break this down!

I mean, people like that are only seeing what they want to see, and only thinking what they want to think. I feel like this has been the crux of Marissa fans since 2004. And the show is designed to make people feel this way. It tells us time and time again that selfish, dramatic Marissa is dragging poor uwu baby Ryan into her mess and isn't it just the saddest thing in the world that he loves this troubled girl. I'm not saying it's right, and I'm not saying it's not aggravating, but it's basically like beating our heads against a wall because they're watching a completely different show than we are. There is not a single instance where Ryan didn't put himself into his current love interest's business. Like, we know it's something he's attracted to. The white knight thing is baked into his character makeup. And he is never allowed to be wrong or feel bad about it. So whatever.

And we have Marissa over here who's given the plight of being the object of everyone's affections and earnestly believing that you can be friends with members of the opposite sex without the expectation of reciprocated feelings. Isn't that wild. For all the show cops to in the book, there's not a single instance about how harmful the messages they sent were. And we have certain cast members who have the gall to say that Marissa led Trey on and that shooting him to save Ryan was par for the course.

Marissa and Ryan both have savior complexes but Marissa is the one who suffers from them 100% of the time. The narrative paints hers as wrong and Ryan's as right and calls it a day.

We have to look at this show from the pov of a writer who, by s2, completely abandoned RM as a ship to root for and Marissa as a character who does anything substantial. It's a long way from s1 already. And the way this man stalked TWoP and other anti-Marissa message boards at the time also means he baked in those 'it's for the best Marissa d**d' sentiments that the AU season hammered home several times. So he's holding people's hands to get to these conclusions, and changed the show drastically because he was mad that Marissa fans wouldn't follow to the new season like sheep. He really, actually expected them to show up. And expected the numbers to not drop by half. I'm moving this message into new territory so I apologize but there's many layers to this. Basically Marissa being treated in the script as a character worthy of nuance and backbone went away with s1, and the sentiment forever became 'it's too bad Ryan loves her because she's a mess' and s3 hammers this home incessantly.

[candescentkpop]

Screenshots from Let Me Know

Pixy: Let Me Know

Pixy Part 91 / ?

[yourheartinyourmouth]

we borrowed money like five months ago from one of husbeast’s friends for car repairs.

the money from my cashed out pension FINALLY came in (three months late, of course. yay state bureaucracy bullshit) and we JUST FINISHED PAYING HIM BACK AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[peachcitt]

stayed up super late last night with friends doing halloween stuff (getting drunk and spilling tea) knowing full well that i had to get up early today to go to a quince out of town . i am awake against my will and regretting many decisions