#THREAD. with regards to the light | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cipheress-to-k-pop · 2 months ago

Text

bloodlines (m.r.)

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Word Count: 13.2k (wow)

Summary: When a centuries-old vow comes into fruition, you're bound to the boy who once swore he'd never love anyone — especially not you.

A/N: I actually hate this😭

Week 3 of @acourtofchaos's Festival of AUs

@obsessedwithceleste hope u like it pookie <3

The crackling of the fire in the hearth was the sole sound that stirred the stillness, each pop and hiss echoing through the chamber like a whisper of fate. Draped in heavy maroon velvets, the man in the high-backed chair let out a weary sigh, his gaze sharp as steel as it settled upon the figure opposite him.

"How am I to know you’ll keep your word, Salazar?" He asked, "You've never been one to turn away from glory — especially when it's for your own name."

His companion, cloaked in darker hues, paused. A slow, sly smile crept across his face — thin, deliberate, and far too familiar. Godric couldn't help but think of his companion’s namesake — all that was missing was a forked tongue singing sweet lies.

"Then let us bind our names as one," Salazar said at last, his tone smooth as still water, "What glory comes to Slytherin shall then be glory to Gryffindor as well."

Godric narrowed his eyes, fingers running through his beard. A humorless breath escaped him, half laugh, half warning, "You’ve no daughter, Salazar."

"Not yet, that much is true," The other replied calmly, "Yet that is the very point — a safeguard. Let us seal the pact with magic: when our descendants are come of age, they shall wed. Should they fail to do so… then let their bloodline be forfeit."

Godric regarded him in silence, the fire casting shifting shadows across his face. After a long pause, he stood.

"Very well," He said, "You have a deal, old friend."

***

Potions was hardly the class you needed to attend when you were this sleep-deprived. Snape gave out instructions quick and fast and one after the other — and it was difficult enough to catch all of them while wide awake. In your current state, it was a blessing you were understanding every second word.

You’d been plagued by nightmares all night — visions of a dark room barely touched by light, the hiss and rattle of a snake’s tail, and a searing golden thread weaving itself through your chest, leaving a burning trail in its wake as it tied a tight knot around your heart. You woke up feeling like something ancient had looked directly into your soul.

The classroom buzzed with low murmurs and the occasional clink of glass as students moved about, carefully preparing their assignments. You stood at your workstation with Hermione, watching your cauldron bubble gently as she measured out powdered moonstone.

“Careful,” She muttered, “Snape said too much will make it foam—”

Before you could respond, there was a loud laugh from the back of the room.

“Oi, Nott — your stirring looks like a troll having a fit!” Blaise teased, shoving Theo lightly from behind.

Theo rolled his eyes, scoffing, “You wish your potion looked half as decent, Zabini—”

But Blaise gave him another nudge — harder this time, more of a shove.

Theo stumbled back, and before you could react, his shoulder slammed into yours with full force.

You gasped and staggered forward, crashing into the classmate standing in front of you. You hit Mattheo Riddle square in the chest — hard.

And then — everything went wrong.

The moment his skin brushed yours, the room exploded in light. A brilliant, blinding pulse of gold erupted between you — not fire, not lightning, but magic, raw and ancient and alive. The light burst outward in a shockwave that swept through the room.

Every cauldron detonated at once.

Glass shattered. Potions hissed and spilled across the floor. Shrill screams echoed off the stone walls. Smoke and sparks filled the air.

You and Mattheo stumbled apart, dazed and breathless — and yet, the golden thread of light still shimmered faintly between your fingertips.

Everyone in the classroom froze.

Hermione had her wand half-raised, eyes wide. Ron was crouched behind the table, shielding his potion-splattered notes. Harry looked between you and Mattheo like he’d just witnessed the first sign of the apocalypse.

“What the hell was that?” Malfoy demanded from across the room, brushing sludge off his robes.

“Did you see that light?” “She cursed him—” “No, he cursed her—!”

“Enough!” Snape bellowed, storming out of the smoke cloud, looking more furious than you’d ever seen him.

But before he could speak further, another voice cut clean through the chaos like a blade.

“Miss (L/N). Mr. Riddle. You will come with me. Now.”

Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway, as if the castle itself had summoned her the second it happened. Her eyes were sharp as steel behind her spectacles, and the look on her face made your stomach twist with dread.

Mattheo didn’t say a word. He just shot you a glare — like this was somehow your fault — and stepped past the wreckage toward the door.

You followed in stunned silence, the echo of that magic still buzzing in your bones.

You had no idea what had just happened. But it had changed something. And you could feel it — whatever this was… it would never be the same again.

***

The heavy oak doors to the Headmaster’s office creaked open on their own, and you stepped inside behind McGonagall, your nerves fraying with every step. Mattheo Riddle trailed a few paces behind you, shoulders squared, jaw clenched like he was ready to bite someone’s head off.

Professor Snape was already inside, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He didn’t even blink when you walked in — just tilted his head like he was mentally cataloguing your sins.

But it was Dumbledore who drew your attention. He stood in front of his desk, hands clasped, that same maddeningly calm expression on his face.

"Ah. Miss (L/N)," He said warmly, "And Mr. Riddle. Good. You're both here."

You barely had time to open your mouth before he added, with a small twinkle in his eye:

“And… a very happy birthday, (Y/N).”

You blinked, “Um… thank you, Professor?”

The silence that followed was thick. Heavy. It wasn't the usual eccentric kindness you were used to from him. There was something off about it. Something purposeful.

You glanced nervously at McGonagall, who was avoiding your eyes for once, lips pressed into a thin line. Snape still hadn’t moved.

“…Did I do something wrong?” You asked, voice quiet, “Because I didn’t—”

“You didn’t,” Dumbledore cut in gently, “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

You exhaled — a brief flicker of relief — before his next words sent your stomach plunging.

“But you have… reached a rather important day. One that has long been awaited.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What are you talking about?”

Dumbledore turned, walked behind his desk, and drew out a drawer. From it, he retrieved a scroll of ancient parchment — so old and brittle that it looked like it might crumble if you breathed too hard. Strange runes glowed faintly along the edges in gold and green ink.

“It may surprise you,” Dumbledore said slowly, unrolling the scroll with care, “to learn that you are not the first in your family to attend Hogwarts. In fact… you are of a very old line. One that traces directly back to Godric Gryffindor himself.”

Your mouth parted slightly, “Wait—what?”

“And Mr. Riddle,” Dumbledore continued, without looking at Mattheo, “descends from another of our founders — Salazar Slytherin.”

Mattheo scoffed, crossing his arms, “Yeah? So what?”

Dumbledore’s eyes lifted, suddenly sharper — older, “So… a pact made a thousand years ago, in secrecy and desperation, has finally come to pass.”

“A pact?” You echoed, staring at the glowing scroll, “What kind of pact?”

McGonagall’s voice cut through the silence — tight and grave, “A magically binding agreement. Between the founders themselves. A vow that, should descendants of their lines be born in the same generation… they would be joined. In marriage.”

The word hit the room like a curse.

“A marriage,” Dumbledore confirmed, “Written into the fabric of their magic itself. Designed to activate when the conditions were… finally right.”

You stared at him.

“No. That’s — that’s insane.”

“I would be inclined to agree.” Snape muttered dryly.

Dumbledore continued, unshaken, “The spell lay dormant for centuries. Until today.”

“Because we — because I touched him?” You asked, turning toward Mattheo, who now looked two seconds from spontaneous combustion.

“Because you are now of age,” Dumbledore said gently, “and the pact recognizes you both. When your magic met his — it awakened.”

Snape finally spoke, voice cold, “You both witnessed the first sign today. The flare. The bond. Arcane magic, woven into your blood, has reawakened. You can no longer deny it.”

You stumbled back a step, hand pressing over your chest like you could still feel the thread of it under your skin — humming, burning.

Mattheo was the first to break the silence. His voice came out low, sharp, “So that’s it? I’m supposed to marry her because two dead men thought it was a good idea a thousand years ago?”

He scoffed, disgusted. “Are you all completely mad?”

Dumbledore held up a hand, “For now, I only ask that you both take this seriously. This magic is older than all of us — and it is already in motion.”

You swallowed hard, your voice shaking, “…And what happens if we don’t?”

Dumbledore hesitated — and that alone made your heart stop.

“It is my belief,” he said quietly, looking straight at you, “that if the vow is not fulfilled…you may lose your magic. Possibly… even your life.”

Your breath caught.

No. No, no, no—

Your stomach dropped so hard it felt like you might vomit. Your lungs refused to expand. You barely heard McGonagall calling your name as your knees gave slightly.

Mattheo let out a humorless laugh, “Then let her die for all I care. I’m not marrying her. I don’t care if the whole castle burns down.”

And then he stormed out, slamming the door so hard that several portraits shouted in protest.

You stood frozen, tears burning your eyes. Even though you hadn’t wanted this marriage either, something about his words — how easily he said it — made something inside you crack.

“Am I really going to lose my magic?” you asked in a whisper, “Am I going to die?”

McGonagall was at your side instantly, her hand warm on your back as you began to sob, trying and failing to breathe through the panic.

Your first day as an adult. And already… you’d been sentenced to death.

***

The entrance to the Slytherin common room slithered open with a hiss, the chill of the dungeons seeping into Mattheo’s skin as he stepped inside. The low greenish light cast shadows across the stone walls, the usual scent of damp earth and smoke curling in the air.

“Oi, there he is — the man of the hour,” Blaise called from the corner, lounging on a leather sofa with Theo and a few others scattered around, “Thought you'd get stuck in detention for the rest of your life. Was worth it though — we got to leave class early.”

Mattheo forced a scoff, striding toward them with the practiced swagger he wore like armor, “The old crones are all senile.”

Theo snorted, “What happened anyway? She bumped into you and you lost your mind ‘cause her filthy hands doth not touch the pure skin of Mattheo Riddle?”

A few of the others laughed. Mattheo didn’t. He just dropped into the seat next to Blaise, jaw tight.

“I bumped into her. That’s all.”

Blaise raised an eyebrow, “Bumped into her and what, set off a bloody fireworks show? Draco took four showers to get the Bubotuber pus out of his hair.”

Mattheo’s fingers tightened around his wand, “I said it was nothing.”

But even as the words left his mouth, he could feel it again — a dull tingling in his head, a sharp kind of pain right behind his eyes that made him screw them shut.

He raised his wand, needing a drink of water.

“Accio.” He muttered, aiming at a glass across the room.

A spark of light flickered. The glass wobbled. Then nothing.

Theo blinked, “Mate, what the hell was that? You losing your touch?”

Mattheo frowned, “I’m just tired. Had one of the most bizarre conversations of my life.”

He gripped the wand tighter — too tight — and tried again.

“Accio.”

A more violent spark this time — and then CRACK. The glass shot across the room like a bullet and slammed into the stone wall behind them, shattering into a million pieces. A few people flinched. Someone swore.

Mattheo didn’t look at the shards of glass.

He was staring at his hand.

It was shaking. Barely — just a tremor in his fingers, almost imperceptible — but it was there.

“Mattheo?” Blaise’s voice was cautious now, “You alright?”

Mattheo’s lips parted, but no sound came out.

Something was wrong. It was the way his magic felt. Like it wasn’t entirely his anymore. Like something was tugging on it — pulling threads loose in places he couldn’t see.

He stood abruptly.

“I’m going to bed.”

And without another word, he stalked off toward the dorms, leaving the others exchanging uneasy looks behind him.

***

The warm glow of the Gryffindor common room wrapped around you like a fragile shield as you pushed open the portrait hole. The chatter and laughter of your friends filled the air — Ron sitting cross-legged by the fire, Hermione quietly reading a book, and Harry leaning against the armrest, eyes lifting as you entered.

“(Y/N)!” Hermione’s smile faltered the moment she saw your face, “Are you—?”

But before she could finish, something inside you broke loose. The tight control you’d clung to shattered, and tears spilled unbidden down your cheeks.

You stumbled forward, unable to stop yourself, and Harry was instantly at your side, arms wrapping around you with steady strength. You leaned into him, your body shaking as sobs wracked your frame.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Harry murmured softly, his voice gentle as the warmth of the fire, “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

You didn’t speak. You couldn’t. You let the tears fall, the hurt and fear and confusion pooling in your chest and spilling out at last.

Ron and Hermione watched quietly, giving you space, their eyes full of concern but never pressing for answers.

***

The first light of dawn crept faintly through the narrow, green-tinted windows of the Slytherin dormitory, casting long shadows across the cold stone walls. Blaise sat up on the edge of his bed, nudging Mattheo’s shoulder with a lazy, “Oi, Mattheo, time to get up.”

There was no response.

He frowned and gave the shoulder another shove, “Wake up, you bloody tosser, or we’re gonna leave you here.”

Still nothing.

Theo, pulling on his uniform, raised an eyebrow, “He’s out cold or something?”

Blaise frowned deeper, reached out, and gently rolled Mattheo onto his back.

They both froze.

Mattheo’s face was ghostly pale — the usual sharp lines softened, drained of color. His eyes remained shut tight, breathing shallow and uneven.

But it was the dark crimson stains that stole Blaise’s breath — blood soaked the pillow beneath Mattheo’s head, seeping into the white sheets, splattered around the bed like a grim painting. Fresh, vivid, unmistakable.

Blaise’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Fuck… is that blood?”

They leaned closer, horror rising as trickles of dried blood traced haunting paths from his ears, nose, and the corner of his mouth.

Suddenly, Mattheo began to cough — a wet, painful hack that shook his whole body. He tried to sit up but couldn’t. His coughing turned into choking, a gargling, desperate sound as he struggled against the blood flooding his throat.

“Get a professor!” Blaise yelled, panic sharpening his voice.

Theo didn’t hesitate — he bolted from the room, racing through the dungeons to find help.

***

You pushed open the doors to the hospital wing, your heart thudding hard in your chest. Professor McGonagall’s owl had found you at dinner— a curt summons with no explanation, only urgency in the hurried scrawl of her handwriting.

The room was quiet. Too quiet. The soft clinks of vials and the distant rustle of linens were the only sounds as you stepped inside. The smell of antiseptic and iron hit you all at once — sharp, metallic, unmistakable.

Your pace slowed as you spotted them.

McGonagall. Dumbledore. Snape. And Madam Pomfrey.

All gathered around a single hospital bed.

The pit in your stomach grew deeper with every step as you approached.

It wasn’t until you rounded the bed that you saw who lay in it.

Mattheo.

Your breath caught.

He was barely recognizable. Pale — deathly pale — with dark shadows under his eyes and dried blood flaked around his mouth and nose. His usually sharp, arrogant features were slack with exhaustion. Soaked cloths were piled on the table beside him, stained deep crimson. A silver basin sat on the floor, half full with water and flecks of blood.

You stared, frozen, mouth parting in disbelief.

“…What—” Your voice cracked, the word barely a whisper, “What happened to him?”

No one answered at first. Madam Pomfrey wrung out another bloodied cloth and dabbed gently at the side of Mattheo’s mouth. He flinched but didn’t stir.

You looked at McGonagall, your voice harder now, “Professor?”

McGonagall exchanged a glance with Dumbledore, then stepped forward.

Dumbledore sighed quietly, folding his hands before him, “The effects began soon after the vow was unfulfilled.”

Your stomach dropped.

“What?”

“When Mr. Riddle rejected the vow — forcefully — the binding magic retaliated. Violently.” McGonagall said, her voice tight with strain.

You blinked, “Wait — so this is because he said no?”

Snape nodded, eyes cold and grim, “The pact is ancient, arcane, and sentient in its own way. It punishes defiance.”

“And if… if we don’t go through with it?” You asked quietly, the words sticking to your throat like ash, “He’s going to die?”

No one spoke at first.

Then Dumbledore nodded, solemn, “Yes.”

You stared at them, waiting for someone to laugh. To say it was a test or a joke or some horrible misunderstanding.

But they just stood there, faces lined with worry and exhaustion.

Your hands curled into fists.

“So let me get this straight,” You said slowly, your voice rising, “He tells me to drop dead — literally — storms out, acts like I’m some sort of plague, and now I’m supposed to what? Save him? Marry him? Because he decided to spit in the face of something he didn’t understand?”

Snape arched a brow, about to respond, but you cut him off with a sharp shake of your head.

“No. I’m not doing this. He made his choice. He wanted me to die instead. He said it himself — let her die for all I care. So where’s that bravado now, Riddle? Hm?” You looked at him again, still unmoving, still barely clinging to life, “You wanted me gone. So why the hell should I save you?”

No one tried to stop you when you turned and stormed out of the room, fury choking your throat.

But as you stepped into the corridor, just before the doors swung shut behind you, you heard voices behind you — low, urgent.

“…his breath is getting fainter.”

“At this rate, I’m not sure he’ll make it through the night.”

Your steps faltered.

And for a moment — just one — the triumph you thought you’d feel turned into something much heavier.

Like guilt.

Like dread.

But you walked away anyway.

***

The Gryffindor common room was quiet, the fire long since reduced to embers. You sat curled up on the armchair closest to the hearth, knees to your chest, the hem of your pajama pants twisting around your ankles. You hadn't moved in hours.

You couldn’t sleep.

Every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was Mattheo — pale, barely breathing, the blood, the stillness, the weight of it all pressing in around you like a vice.

You told yourself he deserved it.

You told yourself you were right.

But then you remembered the way his lips were tinged blue. The way Madam Pomfrey’s hands shook when she dabbed the blood from his face. The way no one — not even Dumbledore — had been able to hide the fear in their eyes.

And then there was the way your heart had twisted in your chest when you heard them say he might not make it to morning.

It was past midnight now. The castle was silent.

You stood before you could think, arms wrapping around yourself for warmth as you padded barefoot through the corridors, the stone cold beneath your feet. You didn’t even bring a robe. Just your pajama pants and an old sweater. You didn’t care.

You just… had to see him.

The doors to the hospital wing groaned softly as you slipped inside. The lamps had been dimmed, casting long shadows across the rows of beds. Only one of them was occupied.

Mattheo.

“Miss (L/N)?” Came a voice from beside him, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with your professor — your eyes were locked onto the boy lying in the bed, on the verge of death.

He hadn’t moved.

His skin was even paler now, his breathing barely visible beneath the thin blanket draped across his chest. The basin beside the bed had been cleaned, but the faint scent of blood still lingered in the air.

You stood there for a long moment, arms still crossed tightly over your chest.

“I’ll do it.”

The words came out quieter than you expected. Like a secret. Like a surrender.

Your voice trembled as you took a step closer, “I’ll marry him.”

You looked over at McGonagall, throat tight, and nodded.

“I’ll do it,” You said again, “If it’ll stop this. If it’ll save him.”

Dumbledore appeared from the adjoining room, his eyes tired but gentle, “Are you sure, my dear?”

You looked down at Mattheo — at the stubborn furrow in his brow, still etched there even now. At the way he looked like a ghost in his own body.

“No,” You whispered, “But I’d never forgive myself if he died and I knew there was something I could’ve done to stop it.”

“You’re going to have to cast the spell yourself, Miss (L/N),” McGonagall said softly.

You nodded, eyes still locked on Mattheo.

You sat in the chair beside his bed and reached out — slowly, hesitantly — to take his hand.

It was cold.

But you held it anyway.

The silence in the hospital wing was thick — like the room itself was holding its breath.

Mattheo didn’t stir as you sat beside him, his hand heavy and cold in yours. Madam Pomfrey stepped back, her hands clasped tightly. Dumbledore watched you with a strange sorrow in his eyes. McGonagall stood beside him, her expression unreadable. And Snape... Snape looked like he already knew how this would end.

You looked down at Mattheo’s face — pale, drawn, lips parted ever so slightly as he struggled to breathe. If someone had told you a week ago that you’d be holding his hand like this, whispering a marriage vow to save his life, you would’ve laughed in their face.

But now…

You swallowed hard, lifting your wand with your free hand. It shook.

“What do I say?” You whispered.

Dumbledore stepped forward. “Repeat after me. Word for word. The spell will bind your magic, your life force, and your future to his — should he survive the bonding.”

You nodded, your grip tightening around Mattheo’s fingers.

Dumbledore spoke first, slowly and clearly, “I offer my name, my will, my magic, and my blood…”

You repeated it softly, every word a thread stitching itself into the air, “I offer my name, my will, my magic, and my blood…”

“…to be bound in life and fate to the heir of Slytherin…”

Your chest ached as the words left you, “…to be bound in life and fate to the heir of Slytherin…”

“…until death unbinds us, or destiny releases us.”

You could barely breathe as you whispered the last line, your throat tight with tears, “…until death unbinds us, or destiny releases us.”

Your wand pulsed with heat.

The tip glowed softly — a deep crimson — and then dimmed as the magic released into Mattheo’s chest in a slow, golden ripple, like sunlight spilling through water.

You felt it then — not a physical tug, but something… inward. A lurch in your core. A sudden pull between your body and his. Like your magic had reached out and fastened itself to his, anchoring to something inside him you couldn’t see.

A soft gasp escaped his lips.

You froze.

Mattheo’s hand twitched.

Then — a cough. Wet. Weak. Painful. His eyes cracked open, red-rimmed and glassy, and they locked onto yours.

“…You?”

His voice was barely a breath. But you heard it. Felt it. And then he passed out again — but this time, his chest rose just a little easier. The color returned, faintly, to his cheeks. The trembling in his hand stilled.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, your wand falling to your lap.

It was done.

The pact was sealed.

You were married.

You dropped his hand, a sob racking through your body, “What have I done?”

McGonagall’s hand rested gently on your shoulder, her voice low but steady as she tried to ground you.

“You did something extraordinary tonight,” she said softly, “You saved a life, Miss (L/N). And that is never something to be taken lightly — no matter the circumstances.”

You nodded numbly, eyes fixed on the folds of your pajama sleeve. Your fingers were clenched, digging into the fabric, trying to stop the tremor still moving through you.

You hadn’t let go of the weight of what you’d done — not yet. The spell still lingered in your veins like fire and ice, like a tether. You hadn’t spoken since.

Not until a low, ragged breath tore through the silence.

And then a voice — hoarse, furious:

“What the fuck did you do?”

You froze.

Mattheo.

You turned slowly toward the bed, where he was now sitting upright — or trying to, at least. Sweat glistened on his forehead, and his breathing was still shallow, but his eyes were wide and dark with realization. With rage.

He was staring straight at you.

“No,” He muttered, shaking his head like he could undo it just by refusing to believe it, “Tell me you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t go through with it.”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. You just sat there, stunned, heart pounding like a war drum in your throat.

“I—” You tried to speak, but your voice caught.

He swung his legs off the bed, swaying with the effort. His skin was ghostly pale, but the venom in his voice was unmistakable.

“You had no fucking right,” He spat, “You just wanted to play the hero — and now I’m the one chained to a decision I didn’t make.”

“Mr. Riddle,” Snape said coolly from across the room, “had she not acted, you would be dead. Is that what you would’ve preferred? That we stand by and let you bleed out?”

Mattheo didn’t even glance at him. His eyes stayed locked on you — like you’d cast the killing curse instead of saving his life.

“You think I should thank you?” He snapped, “You think shackling me to you makes you noble? It doesn’t. It makes you soft. Weak. All of you are fucking insane.”

You flinched like he’d struck you.

The silence that followed stretched taut — unbearable.

And then, barely above a whisper, your voice broke through.

“You’re right.”

Mattheo blinked.

Your hands clenched tighter in your lap, nails digging into your palms, carving crescent moons into your skin.

“I shouldn’t have done anything,” You said, louder now — your voice rising with every word, like something was building, choking you, “I should’ve turned around and walked out of this damn hospital wing. I should’ve let you bleed out, just like you wanted. Would’ve saved us both a lifetime of regret.”

McGonagall called your name — gentle, warning — but you didn’t stop.

“You think it makes me weak?” You hissed, tears blurring your vision, “Fine. Be grateful someone so weak was destined for you. Because no one else would’ve ever willingly bound themselves to you. No one else would’ve looked at what you are — the person you are — and still chosen to save you.”

Mattheo’s glare deepened. His jaw was clenched so tightly you thought his teeth might crack. His hands trembled at his sides — too weak to ball into fists, though you could see him trying.

But you weren’t finished.

“I’m cursing my ancestors for tying me to a monster like you,” You said, standing as you wiped at your face, trying to chase away the tears that refused to stop, “You hate this so much? Then do something about it. Go throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower.”

You paused — your voice cold as ice.

“Then maybe you’ll finally be good for something.”

The room went deathly still.

You didn’t wait for a response. You turned and walked out, each footstep pounding like thunder down the hall, your hand clamped over your mouth to muffle the sobs clawing their way out of you — fury burning in your chest.

And behind you, no one said a word.

***

The next few weeks at Hogwarts felt like walking on glass.

Despite the long list of grievances — the near-lethal bickering, the glares that could freeze hell over, and the occasional hex cast under the table — there was one thing you and Mattheo Riddle agreed on:

The marriage bond was to remain a secret. Or so help you, you’d Obliviate the entire school.

But silence didn’t mean peace.

In fact, ever since the night in the hospital wing, things had gotten worse.

You’d gone from mutual avoidance to open warfare. The moment your sleeves so much as brushed in a corridor, the air would shift — like the castle itself was bracing for impact. Even the portraits had learned to duck when you passed.

Your professors were at their absolute limit.

McGonagall had nearly taken her hat off in frustration during Transfiguration, and Snape — who normally relished assigning detentions — looked ready to swallow an entire cauldron of Felix Felicis just to avoid your next row.

The problem was: detention didn’t help.

You and Mattheo would just end up arguing behind closed doors. Or worse — he wouldn’t even show up. And if he didn’t show, why the hell should you?

Snape had tried to separate you. McGonagall had tried silent partnering spells. Flitwick had attempted a rotation chart. None of it worked.

Because the truth was simple: You two weren’t combustible. You were already on fire.

And the next explosion was only a matter of time.

It was supposed to be a simple lesson.

“Today, we’ll be practicing small-to-medium object-to-animal transfigurations,” McGonagall announced crisply, the chalk behind her scribbling across the board on its own, “The object must retain its original mass, and the animal must be fully functional.”

You weren’t even looking at Mattheo.

A single brush of shoulders in the corridor was enough to spark full-blown arguments. The professors had resorted to full-on assigned seating just to keep you apart.

Naturally, your desk was at the very front of the room.

And Mattheo’s?

Two rows behind and off to the right.

Far enough to ignore. Close enough to still feel him.

You gritted your teeth and raised your wand.

The matchbox on your desk trembled once — then, with a small pop, sprouted whiskers and legs, fur rippling across the surface like ink in water. It let out a high-pitched squeak and bolted.

Right off your desk.

The mouse-thing tore across the floor, weaving between desks like a heat-seeking missile until—

It launched itself onto Mattheo’s parchment, knocking over his inkpot and scrabbling up his sleeve.

His reaction was instant.

Mattheo shot to his feet, chair crashing backward with a loud bang, “Are you fucking serious?”

You stood too, wand half-raised, “It was an accident!”

“Every spell you cast ends up ruining lives,” He snapped, voice like shattered glass, “Why should today be any different?”

The class froze, eyes darting between the two of you.

Blaise’s jaw tightened. Hermione’s lips pressed into a thin line. Even Ron glanced nervously toward McGonagall, who remained impassive but clearly tense.

Your throat tightened like a vice.

“You’re one to talk about ruining lives,” You spat, stepping forward, heat flashing under your skin, “Next time I’ll let your skull hit the floor and see how noble I feel.”

“Oh, I’m the mess?” He scoffed, closing the distance, “I’m not the one who decided to play God—”

“You’re right. You’re not capable of caring about anyone but yourself.”

His eyes flashed, “I’d rather Avada myself than give a shit about you.”

“Do us both a favour and go ahead, Riddle!”

Your wand was in your hand before you even realized it.

“I swear to Merlin—”

Mattheo’s wand was already raised, aimed directly at you, “Do it. Go on. Every Gryffindor dreams of taking out a Riddle. Let’s see if you’ve got the nerve. Put me out of my fucking misery.”

“ENOUGH!”

McGonagall’s voice cracked through the room like lightning.

With a single flick of her wand, both of yours went flying — clattering across the stone floor.

She strode forward, every inch of her trembling with fury.

Neither of you said a word.

“Outside. Now.”

You turned first, jaw clenched tight. Mattheo followed a beat later, shoulders stiff with rage.

And as the door slammed shut behind you, you both stormed off in opposite directions, breaths ragged — not looking at each other. Not speaking.

But the silence buzzed louder than any scream.

Because neither of you said it aloud. But in that moment, you both knew: Something was going to break soon.

And it wouldn’t be the bond.

It would be you.

***

Snape had been more successful than usual at keeping you both apart during lessons. Your workbenches were set far, far away from each other, and all the tools and ingredients you’d need were already placed before class began. While it was completely unlike him, Snape had gone through the painstaking effort of making sure you’d never have to leave your bench—and thus wouldn’t run into each other.

Mattheo was halfway through slicing the stubborn boomslang skin when the knife slipped from his fingers. A curse barely whispered under his breath. He glanced down at the thin line of blood trickling from a cut on his palm.

“Are you bleeding?” Lorenzo’s voice cut through the quiet classroom, unexpectedly loud.

The noise struck you like a jolt to the chest. Your heart hammered in your ribs, and without thinking, you whipped your head around, eyes scanning the room in sudden panic.

For a moment, your breath caught in your throat. Was he sick again? Coughing up blood like last time? Was he hurt worse than before? Why? You had cast the spell, fulfilled the vow. Why was he bleeding? Was it because your magic was wearing off? Were you losing your magic?

Mattheo caught your frantic gaze from across the room. His brow furrowed as he watched the flicker of worry on your pale face—completely out of place among the usual sharp barbs you threw his way.

Why are you looking at me like that? his eyes seemed to ask.

You looked away quickly, biting the inside of your cheek. Your gaze flicked over his form, lingering briefly on the wound in his hand. Slowly, you sank back onto your stool, exhaling shakily when Harry leaned toward you with a concerned, “Are you okay?”

You just shook your head, forcing a faint smile. Nothing worth mentioning.

Mattheo’s confusion deepened.

He glanced once more at his bleeding palm, then back at you, narrowing his eyes.

The same person who tells me to throw myself off the Astronomy Tower is worried when I bleed?

A sardonic smirk tugged at his lips—bitter and cold. Pathetic, he thought. She’s weaker than I thought.

He shook his head, muttering under his breath, “Hilarious.”

***

The dormitory was quiet, the other girls already asleep — or pretending to be. You lay motionless in bed, staring up at the ceiling, the moonlight tracing pale lines across your blanket.

It was the stillness that made it unbearable. No shouting, no clashing wands, no chaos to hide behind — just the raw, aching silence where your thoughts had nowhere to go but inward.

Your fingers curled in the sheets, heart leaden in your chest.

You’d read about soulbonds. You’d studied the magic. You understood the implications.

But knowing something intellectually wasn’t the same as feeling it. It wasn't the same as feeling that familiar tug in your soul whenever he was around. Not even affection, just recognition. Because deep down, his soul was yours now, and yours belonged to him.

Your husband.

Could you ever fall in love with someone else? Could you be touched, kissed, adored by anyone else without this bond protesting? Could you ever stand before another person in a white dress and vow yourself to them, when somewhere, in the deepest part of your soul, you were already tied to Mattheo Riddle?

Was this all your life was going to amount to? Would you ever be able to have children? A family?

Your chest tightened, a quiet grief building behind your ribs — not because you wanted him, but because now you might never get to choose.

Not really.

Not freely.

You turned to face the wall, eyes burning.

You hadn’t even wanted this. You had only done what was necessary. You’d cast the spell. You’d saved his life. You’d paid the price. And now the rest of your life might not be yours to live.

***

Mattheo slammed the door behind him hard enough to rattle the frame. His dorm was dim and cool, shadows sprawling over the stone walls like claws. He paced across the room like a caged animal, rage simmering just beneath his skin.

Every time he closed his eyes, he felt his soul reach out of his body, looking for his other half. His magic was writhing in protest—one part of him aching to return to his wife, the other wishing the bond had never been forged at all."

He grabbed a book off his desk and hurled it at the wall. It hit with a loud thud, scattering parchment.

No.

He wasn’t going to be tied to this. He wasn’t going to be one of those cursed bastards in old fairy tales, shackled to a girl because of some ancient, romanticised magic.

It wasn’t fair.

You weren't fair. Always so self-righteous. Always so brave, so noble. Like you were above it all. Like saving him meant you got to own his future.

He sneered, dragging a hand through his hair.

He’d go out with someone else tomorrow — hell, two people, maybe. Just to prove it meant nothing. Just to remind himself that he still had a choice. That no invisible string could dictate who he was or who he wanted to touch.

And if some part of his chest felt heavy beneath that anger — if his stomach clenched at the memory of you going pale with concern, like you cared about him — well, he wasn’t going to fucking think about that.

Mattheo pulled off his school robes with more force than necessary and threw himself onto his bed, staring at the cracked ceiling.

This was just magic.

He didn’t believe in fate.

***

The greenhouse was muggy and buzzing with low conversation, the scent of damp moss and pollen thick in the air. You were partnered with Hermione — thankfully — while Mattheo was stationed several tables away, buried in a hushed conversation with Theodore and Lorenzo.

It should’ve made you feel safe — that distance — but your skin still prickled every time someone said his name. Every time he laughed like nothing between you had cracked wide open.

Professor Sprout bustled through the rows of tables, cheerfully guiding everyone toward the trays of unmarked magical plants, “Careful, class — some of these are… temperamental. I want you to handle them gently. We provoke nothing, understood?”

You nodded absently. Beside you, Hermione was flipping through her textbook, muttering classifications under her breath. Somewhere behind you, Mattheo’s voice filtered through the noise — low, unmistakable. Like smoke curling through your awareness.

You didn’t look. You didn’t need to.

Your soul already knew he was there. You could feel him. Feel his magic.

And it was driving you insane.

Your eyes scanned your workstation, landing on a thick-stemmed plant with curling, faintly shimmering leaves. It looked harmless. Almost pretty. Distracted, your hand reached toward it—

“Wait—!” Hermione started, too late.

The plant struck fast. Its leaves snapped open like jaws, revealing rows of tiny, sharp teeth.

You flinched back—

But not fast enough.

A hand caught your wrist and yanked.

Mattheo’s grip was unrelenting as he dragged you away from the plant’s snapping maw. The force of it knocked you into him, your chest colliding with his shoulder.

The scent of mint, smoke, and fresh grass hit you like a punch to the gut.

You froze.

Mattheo didn’t look at you. His hand stayed firm around your wrist, holding it up like it had personally offended him. His eyes were locked on the plant, jaw tight.

“For fuck’s sake,” He muttered, low and sharp, “Fancy losing an arm, do you?”

Your jaw clenched, “I didn’t ask you to—”

But your voice faltered.

Because your skin was touching.

And the moment it did, the air around you pulsed.

Raw magic cracked through the greenhouse like thunder. The floor trembled beneath your feet. Pots exploded. Vines twisted violently from their containers. One of the plants let out a shriek that made your bones vibrate.

Professor Sprout spun around, eyes wide, “What in Merlin’s name—?!”

Students shouted and scrambled back, clutching their wands as chaos erupted.

“Bloody hell,” Theo muttered somewhere to your right.

The plant that had nearly taken your hand shattered its entire pot in a final, violent explosion — soil and ceramic fragments flying.

And in the middle of it all, Mattheo did the last thing anyone would’ve expected.

He didn’t let go.

He pulled you closer.

One arm locked tight around your waist as he turned into you, shielding your body with his own like it was instinct. His back took the brunt of it — shards of ceramic and clumps of dirt pelting his robes and shoulders as the pot burst behind you.

You couldn’t breathe.

For one suspended second, the rest of the world vanished — the screaming vines, the spells, the panic. All you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Mattheo’s jaw was clenched, his eyes still fixed forward.

But his grip told you everything you didn’t want to understand.

Then, almost as if realizing what caused the chaos — who caused it — his body tensed even more. And suddenly, he let go like he’d touched flame.

You stepped back just as quickly, as though the heat between you hadn’t seared itself into your skin.

The distance snapped back into place.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t even glance at you. Just turned on his heel, stalking back to his workstation with his robes covered in dirt, hair mussed, and jaw tight — like nothing had happened.

But something had.

You watched him go, eyes falling to the soil on his back from where he’d pulled you close.

Then you looked away.

Neither of you spoke of it — not to each other, not to anyone else. But under your breath, the bond whispered what you both refused to say:

Husband. Wife.

And the magic remembered.

***

The steps up to the Astronomy Tower were slick with night dew, the stone worn smooth beneath Mattheo’s boots. The sky was a deep navy above them, scattered with stars, and the wind tugged at their robes as he and his friends climbed — Theo, Blaise, Draco, and Lorenzo trailing behind, their laughter low and easy.

“If we get caught, I’m throwing you all under the bus,” Draco huffed, “Making me leave my silk sheets for a smoke. I don’t even smoke! We’re not girlfriends going to the toilets together — why do I have to be here?”

Mattheo barely heard him.

They were nearing the final bend of the stairwell when he stopped short, his hand shooting out to halt Blaise mid-step.

“What—?” Blaise started, frowning.

Mattheo didn’t answer. His head tilted, brows drawing tight.

A voice floated down the stairs.

Yours.

The wind nipped at your cheeks, but you didn’t mind. It was quiet up here — calm — and that was rare these days.

You sat cross-legged on the ledge, a Chocolate Frog wrapper fluttering beside you. Harry leaned nearby, arms folded against the cold, chewing on a Bertie Bott’s bean with an expression like he’d swallowed a lemon.

He spat the offending thing over the ledge.

“Haz!” You exclaimed, grinning, “Was that dirt-flavored?”

“Vomit!” He cried, chugging his hot chocolate — and immediately burning his tongue, “Oh Merlin—hell—it was vomit-flavored!”

You burst into laughter — a belly-deep kind of laugh, bright and contagious, ringing through the tower like wind chimes in summer. And something about it hit Mattheo like a punch to the ribs. It flared through him like wildfire, warm and sickening and wrong. He didn’t know why it mattered. He didn’t care.

He shouldn’t care.

Harry blinked, turning to look at you — really look, “There’s that smile.”

You tilted your head.

He smiled, “Haven’t seen you smile like that in weeks.”

You grinned, “Really says something about your joke-telling, doesn’t it, Haz?”

He scoffed, bumping your shoulder, “You only laugh when I’m in pain.”

“Seriously though,” He said, softer this time, “What’s going on with you lately?”

You tried to play innocent, “What do you mean?”

He gave you a look, “Don’t do that. You know what I mean. What’s going on with you and Riddle?”

Mattheo’s lungs went tight.

“It’s very hard for you to hate someone, (Y/N),” Harry continued, “I should know. Despite everything those snakes do, you still manage to stay cordial with Berkshire and Zabini.”

“But you,” Harry said, nodding at you, “you’re practically on the verge of murder when Riddle walks into a room. What did he do to piss you off that badly?”

You sighed, shoulders sagging, “He’s an ass.”

Harry didn’t argue.

“He’s rude, arrogant, violent… thinks the world owes him something.” You paused, chewing your lip, “But the more I think about it… the more I feel like I owe him an apology.”

Mattheo’s pulse stuttered. His jaw clenched. He didn’t know why he was still standing there. Why hadn’t he turned around? Why were his feet not moving?

But his heart was pounding.

Harry blinked, “You? Apologize to Mattheo Riddle?”

“I know,” You groaned, resting your head against Harry’s shoulder, sipping your hot chocolate, “It sounds insane. And he’s still awful. He says the nastiest things and looks at me like I’ve ruined his life.”

“I hope there’s a but coming or I’m taking you to St. Mungo’s for a psych evaluation.”

You laughed softly.

“But,” You admitted, “I think I was wrong too. I didn’t ask for any of this… but neither did he.”

Silence. Just the wind and the sound of distant owls.

“He’d be lucky to get an apology from you,” Harry said finally, “But if he throws it in your face, I’ll hex his eyebrows off.”

From the stairwell, Mattheo turned without a word, brushing past the others. His expression unreadable. His hands clenched.

“Mate?” Lorenzo whispered.

Mattheo didn’t respond.

He lit a cigarette with a flick of his wand, the smoke curling from his lips as his eyes fixed on nothing.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” he muttered. “This spot’s taken.”

***

The courtyard was cold and quiet, moonlight catching in puddles across the cobblestones. Mattheo walked fast, hands buried in his coat pockets, cigarette burning low between his fingers. His friends trailed behind, boots scuffing against wet stone, all of them exchanging looks like they were watching a wounded animal pace in circles.

“So,” Blaise drawled, jogging to catch up, “you gonna tell us why you just froze like you saw a bloody Dementor?”

Mattheo didn’t look at him, “Didn’t.”

“You did,” Theo said, grinning, “I thought you’d been Petrified for a second. And then just stood there. Listening.”

Mattheo exhaled through his nose, jaw ticking.

“Oh, come on,” Draco groaned, dragging his feet, “You stopped us cold like you’d been hit with a Stunning Spell. And then just stood there listening to Potter, of all people, like he was singing you a bloody lullaby.”

Mattheo scowled, “He was being loud.”

“Oh yeah, loud enough to make your heart stop apparently,” Blaise said, his grin growing, “Or—oh, wait—was it her voice that got you all twitchy?”

They all knew it was you that had him pausing. It was obvious, but they wanted to stretch this out as long as possible.

Draco made a scandalized noise, “Was that what it was? Is little Matty catching feelings?”

Mattheo shot him a glare sharp enough to cut through steel, “Don’t call me that.”

“She said she owed him an apology,” Lorenzo sang, clutching his heart, making the others guffaw, “Oh, their lovers’ tiff finally coming to an end.”

“She also called him an ass, arrogant, violent, and someone who thinks the world owes him something,” Blaise added helpfully.

“Sounds like foreplay to me.” Theo commented.

Mattheo didn’t dignify that with a response. He took another drag off his cigarette and kept walking.

“You’re acting weird.” Theo called after him.

“You’re acting like she matters.” Lorenzo added.

“She doesn’t.” Mattheo said coolly.

Blaise snorted, “You stood there for ten minutes listening to a private conversation. Be serious.”

“She was loud." Mattheo repeated.

“You’re deflecting.”

“I’m leaving.”

Mattheo threw a middle finger over his shoulder without turning around.

***

Your conversation with Harry had left you with one undeniable truth: you owed Mattheo a long-overdue apology.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized how ambushed he must’ve felt—going from dying to waking up magically bound to a girl he didn’t even like. If you were in his position, you would’ve been upset too.

'I probably wouldn’t have said he should’ve died… and I definitely would’ve reacted differently after learning he saved my life, but I digress.' You thought, gathering up your books as you prepared to leave the library.

It was almost curfew, and you didn’t need another reason to land yourself in detention. At the rate you were going, expulsion was starting to feel like a real possibility. Yet another reason to apologize to Mattheo and smooth things over.

The only issue? You couldn’t seem to actually apologize.

Not for lack of trying—you’d made several attempts—but every time, you froze. Mattheo was always surrounded by his friends, who, you were fairly sure, still didn’t know about your secret. And even when he was alone, you’d chicken out—whether out of pride or the fear that another argument would explode before you got the words out.

As you made your way toward the exit, your eyes caught on a familiar figure hunched over a table.

Mattheo Riddle. Asleep, head down on his Charms essay.

He was alone. Relaxed.

This was probably the best time to say something, you thought. But just as you reached out to touch his shoulder, you paused. Would he be the type to bite your head off for waking him?

Instead, you slowly sank into the seat beside him and decided to wait until he woke up.

So this is my husband, you thought, eyes scanning his face. His dark curls fell over his forehead, brushing his nose and making him scrunch it every few seconds with an unconscious little sniffle. You almost reached out to brush them away before stopping yourself, opting to lean your cheek against the table instead, so you could get a better look.

He was handsome—no denying that. Of course, that was only when his face wasn’t twisted in a scowl or a sneer aimed at you.

Thick lashes fluttered against his cheeks. A scar ran across his nose—one he’d gotten during a fight back in fourth year. You still remembered the chaos of that week, how everyone buzzed with gossip, applauding his opponent for landing a permanent mark on the Slytherin prince.

Your heart clenched at the memory. People had cheered over him getting hurt?

That didn’t seem right. Then again, he wasn’t exactly known for his kindness either. Maybe that was why.

You sighed, letting your eyes drift closed, lulled by the soft scratching of quills and the low crackle of the fireplace. Your breathing began to slow, your body relaxing next to his.

A few minutes later, Mattheo stirred.

His eyes opened slowly—and the first thing he saw was you. Sleeping beside him. Peaceful. Your face mere inches from his own.

He didn’t move at first, just stared.

You looked so calm… so soft. Your lips slightly parted, lashes brushing your cheeks. His gaze moved to where your hands nearly touched on the table. His pinky brushed against yours, and at the contact, something warm bloomed inside him—like drinking something hot and sweet on a cold day.

Then, from the spot where your skin touched, golden butterflies began to shimmer and rise. They floated gently up, delicate and radiant, then dissolved into glittering dust that rained over the two of you like pixie dust.

It was in that moment your eyes began to flutter open, the warmth rushing through you, tugging you gently back to consciousness.

You met his gaze—those deep, stormy eyes lit with gold, reflecting the butterflies as they danced around you.

Silence fell over the moment, thick and delicate like a spun sugar spell.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, your voice barely audible, “For everything.”

His eyes softened, “I know. I’m sorry too.”

You slowly pushed your hand closer, not quite holding his, just letting your fingers rest against his—craving his touch a little longer.

***

The corridors were bathed in shadows as you crept beside Mattheo, the glow of torches casting golden light across the stone walls. It was past curfew—well past—and your shoes squeaked louder than you wanted with every step.

Your hand still tingled from where it had touched his. You tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about the butterflies, or the way his voice had softened when he told you he was sorry, too.

Mattheo was walking close—too close—but neither of you said anything. His shoulder brushed yours once, and both of you stiffened like you’d been hit with a jolt of electricity.

“This is such a bad idea,” You whispered, glancing behind you, “We’re going to get caught.”

“Then move quicker.” Mattheo muttered, though you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You rounded a corner—and froze.

Footsteps.

You both ducked into the nearest alcove, pressing into the shadows. Filch’s voice echoed down the hallway, muttering about rule-breakers and “ruffling Mrs. Norris’ feathers”—which didn’t even make sense, because she was a cat.

You were both holding your breath, your back against the wall, Mattheo right in front of you. Too close again. His hand twitched, like he was going to reach for you, steady you—

You shuffled back with a hissed whisper, “Don’t touch me!”

His brows rose, and you could see his smirk even in the dark, “Why? Scared I’ll bite?”

“No,” You snapped, “I’m scared if you touch me, this entire corridor is going to light up like a bloody fireworks show.”

His grin faltered. A flicker of remembrance crossed his face—the butterflies, the sparkles, the magic. That same electricity was crackling between you now, humming beneath your skin like the promise of a storm.

“…Right.” He muttered, glancing away.

You both fell silent, pressed against your opposing walls, hands braced against the stone, breaths so shallow so that your chests wouldn't brush. Filch’s footsteps faded down another corridor.

When it was safe, you stepped out of the alcove. Mattheo followed—quieter now.

As you reached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, you paused, blinking. Mattheo had followed you all the way there—even though the Slytherin common room was in the opposite direction. He clearly knew that, with the way he was now standing still, waiting as you whispered your password and the portrait swung open.

You turned around to find him watching you with an unreadable expression.

“Goodnight, Mattheo.”

A beat of silence. Then, “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Get back safe, yeah?”

He chuckled, “Should be easy without you jumping at every bloody sound.”

You let out a soft huff of a laugh, offering him a small smile before stepping through the portrait hole. It closed behind you with a gentle thud.

The Fat Lady raised an eyebrow and smiled down at Mattheo, “Someone’s in love.”

He scoffed, “Don’t be daft.”

“Tell that to the lovesick grin on your face.”

It was only then he realised he was smiling. And that his heart hadn’t quite stopped racing.

Fuck.

***

The Astronomy Tower was quieter than usual, the moonlight casting soft shadows across the stone floor. You’d come up for some air, textbook in hand, hoping the cool night would lull you into drowsiness. It hadn’t.

You didn’t expect company—not at this hour, anyway.

“Merlin’s sake,” A voice drawled from the stairs, “why are you always here?”

You looked up to find Mattheo Riddle squinting at you, cigarette already between his lips, brows raised like you were the one interrupting him.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You shot back.

“I asked first.”

“And I’m ignoring you first.”

He scoffed, “Hilarious. You think you’re so clever.”

You shrugged, eyes drifting back to your book, “You can smoke here if you want. I don’t mind.”

You expected him to roll his eyes and leave—maybe mutter something smug under his breath. But he surprised you by stepping forward instead.

He moved to sit on your right, but you quickly lifted your hand and waved him off, “Not there. Sit on my left.”

He blinked, “What? Why?”

You gestured lazily at the breeze wafting through the open arches, “Wind’s blowing that way. I’d rather not get a face full of your lung rot.”

Mattheo rolled his eyes but, to your mild surprise, moved without argument, settling beside you with a muttered, “Bossy.”

You ignored that, flipping a page in your book.

He caught sight of the title and groaned, “Please tell me you’re not actually doing homework at midnight.”

You gave him a small smile, “Can’t sleep. Figured reading this would bore me enough to pass out.”

He took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly, “Suppose that’s one way to do it.”

Silence fell for a moment—not uncomfortable, just quiet. Then, casually, you said, “I didn’t expect to see you in the library the other day. Didn't think you knew where it was.”

He smirked, “Charms essay’s due Monday. Figured I’d get it out of the way early.”

“That’s… surprisingly responsible of you.”

“Well,” He shrugged, “I’m going to that Hufflepuff thing by the Black Lake on Sunday. Didn’t fancy writing it hungover.”

You nodded, “Right. Forgot that was happening.”

Mattheo glanced at you, curious, “You’re not going?”

You shook your head, “Nah. Can’t swim. Bit pointless standing around while everyone else is diving in.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then, quietly—almost too quietly—he said, “You should go anyway.”

You turned to look at him.

The moonlight lit up the edge of his face, the glow catching in his curls and the smoke curling from his lips. His eyes were on the sky now, not on you.

"Maybe I will."

***

The party at the Black Lake was in full swing by the time you arrived with your friends. You wore a hoodie over your swimsuit, sleeves pushed up, sunglasses perched on your nose, and your hair pulled back into a lazy bun that still somehow looked effortlessly good.

You hadn’t even planned on swimming—you just wanted to be out, feel the sun, maybe dip your feet into the water. You hadn’t thought twice about who else might be there.

Until you saw him.

Mattheo.

He was already waist-deep in the lake, surrounded by a cluster of Slytherins and a few Ravenclaws, laughing at something Theo said, water glistening on his shoulders. You weren’t looking at him. Not really.

You were looking in his direction.

At least that's what you told yourself.

You peeled off your hoodie as you neared the shore, tying it loosely around your waist before sitting at the rocky edge. Your legs dipped into the cool water, toes wiggling beneath the surface. You laughed at Ron and Harry as they cannonballed into the lake, sending up twin waves that splashed a few nearby Hufflepuffs. Hermione plopped down beside you with a fond eye roll, choosing to keep you company rather than swim—knowing full well you couldn’t.

And that was when Mattheo noticed you.

It was subtle—just a pause in his sentence, the flick of his eyes toward the shoreline. His laughter dimmed, something warm rushing through him despite the chill of the lake. Like sunlight breaking through glass.

Theo cracked another joke that made the group laugh again, but Mattheo didn’t join in. His eyes flicked back to you. Not obviously—just every few seconds. Like he couldn’t help it.

Like he was trying to figure out when the hell he started noticing the curve of your hips, the way your skin shimmered slightly from sun lotion, or how the sunlight kissed the top of your cheekbones.

And you?

You didn’t look at him once.

At one point, you stretched your arms back behind you, tilted your head toward the sun, letting it soak into your skin. Just for a moment. And when you sat back up, your eyes flickering over the lake to find him again.

Mattheo was gone.

Underwater.

Fully disappeared.

He resurfaced a few seconds later, farther out now—like he’d needed to cool off, or distract himself, or maybe just stop thinking.

You pulled your legs out of the water and wandered off with Hermione to get something to drink, tossing your hair over your shoulder as you left.

He watched the whole time.

You had just stepped away from Hermione to grab another drink, the sun warm on your skin, the breeze tugging at the hem of your hoodie where it clung to your still-damp legs. You didn’t even register the footsteps behind you until it was too late.

“Come on!” Someone called—a Hufflepuff boy you vaguely recognized from Charms, “You haven’t even been in the water yet!”

Your eyes widened, “Wait—”

And then you were airborne.

You hit the lake with a splash, the cold shocking through your bones, clamping around your lungs. Panic seized your chest like a vice.

Your arms flailed, legs kicking uselessly. You bobbed to the surface once—twice—each time barely catching breath before slipping under again. Your hands slapped helplessly at the water’s surface.

And then—

Strong arms. A chest against your back. That comfort and warmth that spread through you almost immediately that made you want to melt.

Mattheo.

You realized it only as you were pulled above water again, his arms locked around your waist as he powered you toward the shore. He dragged you up onto the rocks like you weighed nothing, water cascading off both of you.

You collapsed to the stone, coughing violently, lake water pouring from your mouth as your lungs fought to breathe.

Mattheo was crouched beside you, one arm bracing your back to keep you upright.

But there were no butterflies. No sparks. No golden shimmer between you.

Just him. You. And that familiar warmth pulsing in your chest.

Someone stepped forward, reaching to help—maybe the boy who’d thrown you in.

Mattheo saw red.

He grabbed the outstretched hand and shoved it away, his voice sharp and venomous, “Get your fucking hands off my wife.”

The guy froze mid-step.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Mattheo snarled.

“It—it was just a joke! She wasn’t even that far out—”

“She can’t fucking swim, you twat!”

Silence rippled across the party. Heads turned. All eyes on you.

Mattheo glared at the boy like he wanted to throw him in and hold him down. He hadn’t moved his arm from your back. “Watch your back.” He growled.

You reached up with a shaking hand and pressed your palm to his chest.

“Mattheo—hey—” You rasped, still hoarse, lungs raw, “Calm down. It was an accident.”

His eyes dropped to yours, his jaw clenched tight. Slowly, his expression softened.

He brushed a soaked strand of hair from your cheek, voice lower now, “You alright? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?”

You shook your head, “Don’t be such a worrywart. I’ll be fine.”

He let out a slow breath, something cracking open in his chest at the sight of you like that—drenched, shivering, eyes still wide with shock.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered.

And that’s when it hit you.

There was no magic reacting between you. No sparks. No glow. No reminder of your bond.

Maybe it was because you felt the pull without it. The weight of his hand on your back, the panic in his voice, the fury in his eyes when you were in danger.

Before, the magic needed to show you. To remind you your souls were tied together.

Now?

You already knew.

You stared your hand on his chest for a second. “There’s no spark.” You murmured.

Mattheo just looked at you, something unreadable in his eyes, “We don’t need one.”

***

You were wrapped in a blanket by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, a warm mug in your hands, now fresh out of the shower and in warm clothing, when Hermione sat beside you with a look. Ron and Harry flanked your other side like they were forming an intervention.

Hermione’s eyes narrowed, “Alright. Spill.”

You blinked innocently, “Spill what?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Ron said, “You nearly drowned and he pulled you out like bloody Prince Charming—”

“—and then threatened to murder a Hufflepuff on your behalf.” Hermione added.

Harry leaned forward, “You two have been fighting for weeks and now he’s—what? Your personal lifeguard?”

You shrugged, sipping your cocoa, “He was there. It’s not that deep.”

“Not that deep?” Hermione echoed, “He carried you out of the lake like it was a scene from Pride and Prejudice.”

Ron frowned, “You were holding his hand. Voluntarily.”

You pulled the blanket tighter, “I almost died, Ronald. Excuse me for not being picky about which hands I grabbed.”

Hermione still looked skeptical, “(Y/N) he literally called you his wife. There's something you're not telling us. Next we're going to find out that you're married and have 3 kids.”

You choked on your drink, “Excuse me?!”

“You heard me,” She repeated, smug now, “You’re blushing.”

“Because I'm cold! Because an idiot threw me in the lake and I almost died!” You declared, indignant.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Harry muttered.

***

Meanwhile, in the Slytherin dungeons, Mattheo was toweling off his hair, clearly having just changed out of his soaked clothes, when Theo, Draco, Enzo, and Blaise all rounded on him.

“So,” Draco said casually, “You gonna explain why you went full bloody Gryffindor with that dive and rescue?”

Mattheo didn’t look up, “She can’t swim.”

“Yeah, we gathered that,” Blaise said, “but most people don’t growl at the guy who pushed her in like they’re about to duel him at dawn.”

Enzo snorted, “You literally threatened the bloke who threw her in. I reckon he started crying because he doesn’t want the infamous Mattheo Riddle to rearrange his face.”

Mattheo tossed his towel aside and flopped onto his bed, “He’s lucky I didn’t drown him.”

“Oh, he’s in deep,” Theo laughed, “Pun intended.”

“Funny.” Mattheo muttered.

“Look,” Blaise said, “if you like her—”

“I don’t.”

All four blinked at him.

Mattheo sat up, “I said I don’t like her. End of.”

Enzo raised a brow, smirking, “Right. Because you just protect every girl and call her your wife like it’s nothing.”

Mattheo’s jaw clenched, “It was a slip of the tongue. Nothing more.”

Theo added, “Didn’t even flirt with anyone at the party.”

“I wasn’t in the mood.”

Draco smirked, “He didn’t want to flirt with anyone else besides his wife, guys. This is adorable.”

But Mattheo had already stopped listening to them.

He stared at his hand.

No magic.

But definitely a spark.

***

Hogsmeade looked completely different when you were on your own, with no distractions from friends pulling you along. Your eyes wandered over the little town, taking in all the unusual shops you’d never visited before.

A familiar voice cut through your thoughts.

“Wow, wandering Hogsmeade alone, huh? That’s kinda sad, (L/N).”

You frowned, “Well, Hermione and Ron are on a date, Harry and Ginny are on a date, so I have no one else to keep me company. I would’ve been on a date myself, if someone hadn’t declared me his wife in front of the entire student body.”

That was true. You’d planned to go out with a cute Ravenclaw from your year—but he’d bailed last minute. Didn’t say why, but you knew. It was because of Mattheo’s declaration, and how he’d practically threatened the boy who’d thrown you in the lake. Not just that, girls kept coming up to you, apologizing for flirting with Mattheo, not knowing you were—something. You had to firmly deny it. You weren’t dating Mattheo Riddle. Not at all. You were secretly married, bound eternally by your ancestors. But dating? No way.

Mattheo’s brow raised as he stepped beside you, “You had a date?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Is that a problem now? You didn’t seem to mind chasing after anyone in a skirt before.”

“That was before.”

“Before what?” You pressed.

He hesitated. A beat passed.

Then another.

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter.”

Your brows furrowed, “Sounds like it matters to me.”

His throat bobbed, “Does it?”

Your breath caught. This was the moment. Say it. Say you care. Say you feel it too.

“…I don’t know,” You whispered, “Does it? To you?”

Mattheo looked at you, really looked at you—and for a split second, the truth shone in his eyes. The thing he wanted to say.

“Forget it.”

Your chest sank.

“Right.”

You let out a small breath, softer now, “Thanks, by the way, for saving me that day. I meant to say it sooner.”

Without waiting for a reply, you leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Then you turned and walked away, heart pounding, leaving the words hanging between you.

***

You stepped nervously into the office, the heavy door clicking softly shut behind you. Professor McGonagall sat poised behind her desk, her expression unreadable—but not unkind. Dumbledore reclined slightly in his chair, hands folded, his twinkling eyes settling on you both with quiet intent.

“Please, have a seat.” McGonagall said crisply.

You obeyed, heart hammering, and slid into the chair beside Mattheo.

“We’ve noticed a... shift between the two of you,” Dumbledore began, his voice gentle and measured, “From frequent discord to something far more... cooperative.”

McGonagall nodded, “It appears you’re managing your circumstances with considerably more maturity than when this began.”

You swallowed, “Yes, Professor. We’re trying.”

I’m actually falling in love with the person who tried to curse me to death not too long ago, if that’s what you mean by maturity.

Mattheo shifted beside you—silent but steady. His presence grounded you, even as tension lingered in the air. You kept your hands clasped tightly in your lap.

“As you're aware,” Dumbledore continued, “this bond you share is highly unusual, and it will require careful thought and handling. We wanted to begin a conversation about what the future might look like.”

McGonagall leaned forward slightly, her gaze steady, “We’re speaking not only of the magical implications, but also the emotional and academic ones. Your lives are going to be affected by this, one way or another.”

Dumbledore offered a soft chuckle, “But know this—you’re not alone. We’re here to support you both, in any way we can. That is why we asked you here.”

McGonagall added, “Think of this as the beginning of an open conversation. A safe space to ask questions or raise concerns—without judgment.”

You glanced at Mattheo. His brow was furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line, but he met your gaze.

Then McGonagall continued, carefully, “It’s important to consider all possibilities. Including how you might feel about the idea of... other partners.”

Your breath hitched. Your gaze flicked to Mattheo.

He didn’t speak. But his jaw clenched. His shoulders stiffened.

Other partners?

When this began, you’d imagined—hoped, maybe—that someday you could fall in love with someone else. That the bond wouldn’t define your life. That maybe this could just be something you learned to live with... and move on from.

But it had never occurred to you that Mattheo might have thought the same.

Your stomach twisted. The idea of him with someone else—smiling at them the way he sometimes looked at you when he didn’t think you were watching—sent a sharp pang through your chest. Laughing with someone else. Touching them. Loving them.

No. You didn’t want that.

Dumbledore’s gaze softened. “Unfortunately, despite our efforts to investigate the depth of your bond, we still don’t fully understand all the implications. Which is why it’s best to be prepared. Bonds like yours... they can be complex.”

You nodded mutely, eyes fixed on your hands. A heavy ache bloomed in your chest—low and insistent. You weren’t ready to imagine a future where he wasn’t yours.

Even if you were never truly his.

***

You left the office in silence.

Neither of you spoke as you walked down the spiraling staircase, the echo of your footsteps louder than anything else. The corridor was quiet, dim with late-afternoon shadows filtering through tall windows. But the silence between you was deafening.

Mattheo’s hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his jaw tight. You kept your eyes ahead, refusing to let him see the storm behind yours.

Other partners.

The words echoed like a curse. The ache in your chest hadn’t faded—it had only sunk deeper. You didn’t know what was worse: the idea of loving someone who didn’t feel the same… or the thought of watching him fall for someone else.

Then, just as you turned a corner, Mattheo stopped walking.

“So,” He said stiffly, gaze still fixed on the stone floor, “you ever think about it?”

You blinked, “Think about what?”

He didn’t look at you. His voice was low, carefully neutral, “Moving on. Being with someone else.”

Your heart skipped. You stared at him, caught off guard, “I—I don’t know. I did… at the beginning. When all of this felt like a curse.”

He nodded, slow and almost imperceptible.

You hesitated, “What about you? Have you thought about being with someone else?”

A pause. Longer than it needed to be.

His jaw flexed, “I don’t know.”

You nodded too, trying to mirror his indifference even though your stomach had begun to twist into knots, “It’s okay if you have, Mattheo. I mean... it’s only natural, right? We didn’t choose this.”

“You’re right,” He said quietly, “We didn’t.”

You stopped in front of the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady eyed you curiously from her portrait, but didn’t say a word.

Mattheo offered you a small, hollow smile—the kind people give when they’re pretending not to bleed—and turned to leave.

You watched his retreating back. You knew you were going to cry the moment you were alone, so what did it matter?

“But,” You said loudly.

He stopped. Turned.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing the words out before you lost your nerve, “But I think I’d still choose you… if I had the choice now.”

Silence.

It blanketed the space between you, thick and charged.

Mattheo didn’t move. Didn’t speak. But something in his eyes fractured—like a crack through glass, sudden and sharp.

He stepped back toward you, slow at first, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. His voice, when it came, was quieter than you’d ever heard it.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”

You shook your head, “I mean it.”

He looked at you like he was trying to memorize you—like he didn’t quite believe it, but desperately wanted to.

His throat worked as he swallowed hard. “You make me crazy,” He said, almost helplessly, “You drive me up the fucking wall, and half the time I want to strangle you.”

A faint laugh escaped you—wet and shaky.

“But the thought of you with someone else,” He whispered, “Makes me feel like I can’t breathe.”

Your heart stuttered.

He stepped even closer now, “So no. I haven’t thought about being with anyone else. Not really. Not since you.”

The air was thick between you. Charged. Magnetic.

You stared at him, wide-eyed, “Mattheo…”

He raised a hand, hesitated—then tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers brushed your cheek, lingering just a moment too long.

“If I had the choice,” he said, “I’d still choose you too.”

Neither of you moved.

And then, slowly, cautiously, you leaned into him—your forehead brushing his, your breath mingling with his in the narrow space between you.

His eyes dropped to your lips.

You didn’t speak.

You didn’t need to.

His hand slid from the back of your neck to cradle your jaw, thumb brushing softly against your cheek. You tilted your face toward him, heart thudding so loudly it drowned out everything else.

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t rough or rushed like you thought it might be. It was slow. Gentle. Like he was afraid you might disappear if he moved too fast.

You melted into him, fingers curling into the front of his robes as he pulled you just a little closer—close enough to feel the shudder in his chest when you exhaled.

When you finally pulled away, your forehead rested against his again, both of you catching your breath in the quiet.

He didn’t let go.

Neither did you.

And in that small, stolen moment outside the common room, the world felt… still.

Like maybe—for the first time since the bond was formed—you weren’t fighting fate anymore.

You were choosing it. You were choosing him.

***

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

@haniscrying

@superheroesaremyjam113263

@writers-whirlwind

@paankhaleyaaar

Mattheo Riddle Taglist:

@redeemingvillains

#mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle imagine #slytherin boys x reader #mattheo riddle angst #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle oneshot #mattheo riddle fanfic

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drchucktingle · 5 months ago

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BIG thing i get teased about over the years (in playful ways, it is fine buckaroos, but a light tease none the less) is the DIRECTNESS of my titles. many who stumble upon my books will immediately comment 'the title is so long it just says what happens'. here are some of my thoughts on that...

as with a lot of things in the tingleverse, my unusual artistic choices end up being a sort of TROJAN HORSE, called unserious and mocked by many, but hopefully over the years revealing something to buckaroos who are not tied to the separation of ‘low brow’ or ‘high brow’ art

i feel understood by most, but for some who JUST NOW encounter the tingleverse there is an automatic apprehension, from outright to subliminal. things like scoffing ’im not going to try and find meaning in a chuck tingle book’ (real quote) or 'skeptical of the horror, ive seen his OTHER books'

i have written a LOT about how much of this, whether buds know it or not, is not just about the dinosaurs and the living objects. it is about a culture that is built to see queerness and neurodivergence and (drumroll) SEXUALITY as fundamentally unworthy of ‘real’ artistic merit. this trot runs deep

theres SOMETHING ELSE i dont talk on much however, which is directness of my writing style, both in titles and on page. why i do it is this: AS AN ARTIST it is never my intention to impress you. my books are not the 'ME show' theyre the 'US show’ so i simply want my sentences to express what happens

i wont dance circles around you, leading you through the story saying LOOK AT ME LOOK HOW GOOD I AM IM SO COOL. i want to walk BESIDE you. of course, writing to impress is also great and valid art too, just not MY preference. this is ARTISTIC choice, but i want to talk for a moment on politics of it

i tend to see buckaroos holding a sort of STRICT interpretation of what makes ‘good’ art. it is a training that has been pounded into their heads declaring ‘real art cannot just come out and say what it means.' a good example would be if someone was being critical by just saying 'its heavy handed'

the thing is, there is a huge difference between saying ‘it was blunt.’ and ‘it was TOO BLUNT for what it was trying to accomplish.’ TIME AND TIME AGAIN however, you will see folks simply deciding ‘this art just said what it meant on the surface’ and leaving it there, as if that is INHERENTLY WRONG.

and the question i am forced to ask myself is ‘WHY is this wrong?’ in the vast, infinite pantheon of WHAT ART CAN BE why are we so obsessed with hiding ourselves? obscuring our thoughts? removing our politics? there is certainly a time for subtly, but it seems there is NEVER a time for being blunt

some say this is because arts more DIFFICULT to craft when it is subliminal, but folks do not REACT that way. art that is both direct AND subliminal and layered will STILL get torn down for leaving things on the surface, even when technically speaking it is probably most impressive to juggle both

there is plenty for you to research on this regarding the CIA secretly funding abstract expressionist art during the cold war. it is still HOTLY DEBATED, but i will mention it here for anyone reading my thread who is interested in a deep dive. HERE, however, i will talk about it on a personal level

i think that culturally we are CONSTANTLY told to not take up space, especially in marginalized groups. there is decades and decades of programming telling us ‘you can express yourself, but in a CIVILIZED WAY, not too loud, not too direct. CERTAINLY not too political.' i flatly reject this

of all the places to do what you want and say what you want to say, ART IS THE PERFECT ARENA. your writing, your songs, your music can absolutely be as subtle as you want, but especially during times like this, dont let anyone tell you that youre too dang loud. lets trot buckaroos.

and since i spent all morning writing this is am going to leave a link for my new book LUCK DAY, which is LOUD AS HECK. now is a time to make art, and it is also a time to support the artists you love. give a preorder if you can. LOVE IS REAL

#buckaroo lifestyle #chuck tingle #tingleverse #art theory

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sarishim · 2 years ago

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rudimentary tag drop, i'll add more as i think of them!

— the man dressed in linen‚ who was standing above the river; visage. — hebrew nonsense (affectionate); ooc / jewish stuff. — always some kind of fucking temperature; ooc / misc. — how will you hear my words and pleas; ooc / psa. — the current hyperfixation; ooc / research. — adinah's ramblings; ooc / tbd. — my sword has been sharpened since the sixth day of creation; muse study. — i have stretched out my hand‚ and no one regards; psyche. — from endless lights‚ I come back to thee; dash games. — i was born to pave the way‚ to let the masses hear; prompts / memes. — i am the spark that sets the flame of truth alight; prompts / opens. — i am the prince of fire‚ i will perform a miracle within a miracle; musings. — through fire and water‚ i shall walk with thee; aesthetics. — i shall be with thee through good and bad; verse / main. — g-d grant me the serenity to know i had to do it to 'em; pinned / DNI. — on all levels except physical‚ i am hugging you / promos. — take my hand and let us walk for miles / playlist. — the golden wine follows through my veins‚ i know the holy words; threads. — thy empty words shall avail thee not; headcanons.

#— the man dressed in linen‚ who was standing above the river; visage.#— hebrew nonsense (affectionate); ooc / jewish stuff.#— always some kind of fucking temperature; ooc / misc.#— how will you hear my words and pleas; ooc / psa.#— the current hyperfixation; ooc / research.#— adinah's ramblings; ooc / tbd.#— my sword has been sharpened since the sixth day of creation; muse study.#— i have stretched out my hand‚ and no one regards; psyche.#— from endless lights‚ I come back to thee; dash games.#— i was born to pave the way‚ to let the masses hear; prompts / memes.#— i am the spark that sets the flame of truth alight; prompts / opens.#— i am the prince of fire‚ i will perform a miracle within a miracle; musings.#— through fire and water‚ i shall walk with thee; aesthetics.#— i shall be with thee through good and bad; verse / main.#— g-d grant me the serenity to know i had to do it to 'em; pinned / DNI.#— on all levels except physical‚ i am hugging you; promos.#— take my hand and let us walk for miles; playlist.#— the golden wine follows through my veins‚ i know the holy words; threads.#— thy empty words shall avail thee not; headcanons.

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downbadf0rficppl · 1 year ago

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iced caramel latte

Dream x F!Reader

Summary: Dream may come to the cafe to see his friend, but you are evermore intriguing. When Dream finds out that you rarely sleep - he seems to have found his next experiment. What if you're more than that?

Word Count: 3.6K

AN: Dream is very OOC in this (sorry) but apart from that it's literally just fluff. I don't know where this came from but I blame it on the flu. Hope you enjoy!!

It was unlike Dream to be standing in front of a mortal café at this hour. By all accounts, he was almost seventy years early for this meeting, but he had promised Hob that he wouldn’t leave the meetings so long this time. And, perhaps, secretly, he was happy to have a friend.

Standing outside the small café a few streets down from the pub, hands tucked into his jacket pockets, he could see Hob sat at the counter, a grimace painted on his face. A small stack of papers piled next to him, Dream chuckled. His friend was not one to slow down. Ever. In fact, this café was just another one of Hob’s attempts at keeping busy. He had bought this place after the pub became one of the most popular gastropubs in the area. It inspired him to buy another. And then another. This café was the latest in a long line of (less-than-smart) investments.

The café was a small, welcoming place that was popular among the crowd of local university students. The scent of coffee and ink permeated the air, curling into the quiet hum of conversation and the clatter of porcelain.

A girl passed by Hob, grabbing a few mugs, and seemingly cracking a joke, seeing as Hob turned his head towards her and he burst out laughing, throwing his head back in the delightful way that only Hob could. Dream smiled slightly.

The bell above the door announced his entrance and both Hob and the girl turned to face him as he made his way to the counter.

“Didn’t think you were the café type,” Hob mused, gesturing to the seat opposite him.

Dream regarded the chair for a moment before lowering himself into it. He had no need for human comforts, yet something about the space felt... grounding. Hob slid a steaming cup toward him. “Coffee?”

Dream barely glanced at it. “I have no need for mortal stimulants.”

Hob chuckled.

Dream’s attention drifted elsewhere, drawn by a quiet presence moving through the space. You. There was something familiar about you, though he did not yet understand why. The rhythm of your steps, the ease with which you carried the weight of exhaustion, stirred his curiosity. He found himself speaking before he had even decided to do so.

“I’ll have whatever the lady recommends.”

“The lady?” You laugh, “Never heard that one before.”

Hob blinked, before bursting into laughter. Dream simply waited.

Hob’s smirk widened. “Oi, love,” he called, drawing your attention. “Bring us whatever your favourite is, will you?”

You glanced between the two of them, curiosity flickering in your gaze before you nodded. A few moments later, you returned and placed a drink in front of him—a chilled cup with golden swirls threading through the ice. “Here you go. My personal favourite.”

Dream lifted the glass, taking a slow, deliberate sip. He had expected something rich and bitter, perhaps reminiscent of the dark depths of human longing. Instead, the overpowering sweetness clung to his tongue, thick and cloying. He coughed, setting the cup down with an uncharacteristic flicker of surprise.

Hob roared with laughter. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”

You snorted, covering your mouth with your hand, and Dream turned his gaze to you. The sound of your laughter, light and genuine, resonated within him in a way he did not fully understand. He allowed the corner of his lips to curve, just slightly.

“Lucienne?” Dream called out as he wandered through the vast halls of his Library. His shoes tapped against the floor as he traced his fingers along the endless shelves.

“Yes, my lord?” Lucienne responded, jumping down from the ladder on which she was perched.

“I seek a book,” Dream said, his voice echoing through the grand chamber.

Lucienne nodded, “Their name?”

He spoke it, your name lingering in the air like a whispered secret. Lucienne’s eyes flickered with surprise at Dream’s inflection, but she turned to search the shelves without a word. Dream watched as she moved efficiently, fingers ghosting over spines that pulsed with the memories of dreamers. But as the minutes stretched on, she hesitated.

Lucienne frowned. “That’s… odd.”

Dream stepped forward. “What is it?”

Lucienne turned back to him, her brows furrowed in concern, a thin book in her hands. “There’s no entry. Not one.”

A rare flicker of confusion crossed Dream’s expression. “Impossible. Every dreamer has entries.”

Lucienne hesitated before meeting his gaze. “Unless they’re not.” At his confusion, she elaborates, “A dreamer. What if they do not dream?”

Silence settled between them. Dream’s mind turned, considering the implications. A mortal without an entry in their book —without a single dream to call their own—was a rarity. An anomaly.

And yet, as he recalled the exhaustion in your eyes, the way you carried the weight of sleeplessness with such resigned acceptance, he realized the truth of it.

You did not dream because you did not sleep.

For the first time in a long while, something within Dream stirred. A curiosity. A question. A pull toward the sleepless mortal who had unknowingly drawn the attention of the Lord of Dreams himself.

To everyone’s surprise, the next night, Dream found himself at your doorstep.

It was not often that he visited mortals outside the realm of dreams. And yet, here he stood, a figure of shadow and starlight against the quiet hum of the city. He did not knock, but you noticed him anyway—perhaps you had felt the shift in the air, or perhaps you were simply used to the strange.

You opened the door, blinking up at him with tired eyes, unsurprised. “You found me,” you said, voice warm with amusement rather than fear.

Dream stepped forward. “You do not sleep.”

A beat passed before you shrugged. “Never have.”

He studied you, expecting denial, discomfort—something. Instead, you tilted your head, unbothered. “I’ve always had trouble sleeping,” you admitted. “Ever since I was a kid.”

Dream frowned. “Why?”

Another shrug. “No reason. Sometimes, I just… don’t.”

He was silent for a moment, searching your expression as though the answer might be buried there. You met his gaze without hesitation, unshaken by the weight of it.

“This is unnatural,” Dream finally said, more to himself than to you.

You smiled wryly. “It’s normal for me.”

Dream did not like that answer. Sleep was meant to be a comfort, a necessity—his gift to mortals, whether they realized it or not. And yet, you had gone without it for so long that your exhaustion had become part of you, worn like a second skin.

“Do you wish to sleep?” he asked, voice softer now.

You hesitated, the question heavier than you expected. Finally, you exhaled. “Sometimes.”

That was all the answer Dream needed.

He raised a hand, fingers brushing lightly against your temple. A warmth bloomed in his touch, soothing and unfamiliar. Your eyelids grew heavy, and for the first time in a long time, you felt the pull of sleep.

As you swayed, Dream caught you before you could fall. With careful hands, he guided you to your bed, watching as you surrendered to the quiet oblivion of dreams. And as he stood over you, watching the steady rise and fall of your breath, Dream found himself lingering longer than he should have.

The following night, you found yourself lying awake in your room, the soft moonlight filtering through the window. The world beyond seemed distant, muffled in its own stillness. Yet, as you drifted into sleep, the familiar sensation of being pulled into the Dreaming swirled around you. This time, however, something felt different.

You stood at the foot of a large castle, its spires looming tall and towers shimmering with faint, unearthly light. The stone beneath your feet was warm, as though the castle itself pulsed with life. As you stepped forward, a presence emerged from the shadows, his recognisable black coat giving him away. Dream stood tall, regal, his dark robes billowing slightly in the non-existent breeze. His pale face was unreadable, but his eyes… they lingered on you with an unfamiliar softness.

"You’re… here?" Dream asked, his voice low but edged with something you couldn’t quite place. There's a flicker of surprise, followed by curiosity.

"Couldn’t stay away," you replied, a playful edge to your voice. There was an ease between you now, as if you’d always belonged here, even though the reality of it was quite different. He studied you quietly, as though weighing the moment.

"Come," he said, stepping aside to let you enter. "I was not expecting company, but I am not displeased." His lips curled into the faintest of smiles, a small, uncharacteristic gesture. You followed him deeper into the castle, the walls whispering softly with the echoes of dreamers' thoughts. He led you to a tall balcony, where the whole Dreaming was visible beneath you. Your mouth dropped open of its own accord. It was stunning. To your left, Dream only smiled.

As the night progressed, you spoke - about the realms of dreams, about your own world, and the surrealness of this place. Dream listened intently, his gaze lingering on you longer than usual. He seemed fascinated, as if there was a part of him that finds something new and intriguing in your presence. You, too, began to feel it—the pull, the way Dream seemed to understand you in ways others didn’t.

As dawn approached, you bid him goodbye as he set off to do his duty. There was something lingering as he bid you goodnight, almost as if he didn’t want to let you go. You shook your head. You were seeing things that weren’t there. Still, you left a soft kiss on his cheek, as your vision faded to black and you woke up in your own bed. You scoffed at the pinking of his cheeks that you thought you saw as you closed your eyes.

The following night, Dream arrived earlier than expected, standing at the edge of the castle once more. He was dressed in his usual dark attire, though now his expression seemed softer, less guarded. When you appeared, he gestured toward the castle, but this time, there was a certain eagerness in his movements.

"I thought," Dream began, his voice almost uncertain, "that you might like to meet some of my… creations." His eyes flickered away from yours for a moment, then returned, brimming with something almost shy.

You could only nod.

The first person to meet was Lucienne - Dream's right hand, you nicknamed her.

Tall, regal, and striking in her stillness, she was surrounded by towering shelves of books that stretched beyond what seemed possible. She was focused, her brow furrowed as she carefully adjusted the placement of a book on one of the shelves. Her appearance was immaculate, her dark hair braided in a complex pattern, her eyes sharp and intelligent. There was an air of calm wisdom about her that made you feel as though you were in the presence of something far greater than you could comprehend.

"Ah, Dream has brought you here," she said softly, without turning to face you, her voice smooth and warm. "You must be the new arrival. I am Lucienne, the librarian of the Dreaming."

She turned to you then, offering a kind, welcoming smile. Her gaze was kind but assessing, as if she were quickly measuring you. "It is an honor to meet someone from the waking world," she continued, the smile never fading. "I manage the stories, the dreams, the knowledge of this place. Everything that happens here is recorded in some form or another."

You nodded, somewhat awestruck. There was a gravity to her presence that made you feel both small and important at the same time.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked, her tone inviting but controlled, as if she had seen all manner of souls wandering through the Dreaming.

Before you could respond, there was a loud, gruff voice from behind you.

"Lucienne, I’m not sure that book belongs there! You know how I feel about misplaced…" The voice trailed off as a figure appeared in the doorway—a squat, pumpkin-headed man, his face carved into a permanent frown. He wore a janitor’s uniform, though it was a little worse for wear, and a cigarette dangled from his lips. His eyes, barely visible beneath his pumpkin head, flicked between you and Lucienne.

"This is Mervyn," Lucienne said with a barely contained sigh, though her expression softened with a hint of affection. "He’s our… custodian of sorts."

Mervyn rolled his eyes but gave you a quick nod, the smoke from his cigarette swirling around him like a tiny storm. "Nice to meet you, I suppose. Watch out for the dust in here, it’ll choke a person. And try not to knock anything over, we don’t want the big guy—" He gestured vaguely toward the ceiling, "—to come down here yelling."

Before you could ask who he meant, a dark shape flitted across the room—a raven, perched on the windowsill. Its sharp eyes studied you with an intensity that was almost unnerving. The raven cawed loudly, flapping its wings slightly as it hopped onto a nearby chair.

"And this is Matthew," Lucienne said, her voice filled with quiet amusement. "He’s one of Dream’s newer companions."

Matthew the raven cocked his head, giving you a sharp look before hopping closer to Lucienne’s side. He gave a low croak, as if offering a greeting of sorts, though his attention never wavered from you.

"You’ll get used to the oddities of this place," Lucienne added with a smile, before gesturing for you to follow her deeper into the castle.

As you walked through the winding halls, you eventually arrived at a large, open space where two figures stood facing each other, bickering loudly.

"Cain, Abel," Lucienne greeted them, her tone even, though there was a hint of warmth there.

They turned to face the three of you, bowing as they caught sight of Dream. Dream leaned his mouth towards your ear: "Constant property disputes, those two. Never satisfied."

You hid your laugh behind a cough.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." Both Cain and Abel bowed to you, before bursting into another argument about who's bow was better. Before anyone could say anything.

Before you could respond, a massive form appeared behind them—an enormous dragon, its scales gleaming like emeralds, its eyes glowing with an ancient wisdom. The dragon’s wings folded against its back as it lowered its head to greet you, its breath warm and heavy, though not threatening.

"This," Dream said with a small smile, "is Gregory - a gift of mine to Cain and Abel." Gregory came up to you slowly, sniffing not unlike a dog. You reached out your hand and waited patiently. Gregory sniffed your hand slowly before jumping up and licking your face. You laughed out loud: it turns out dragons are exactly like dogs.

You bid adieu to Cain and Abel and disappeared to the balcony again. As the evening wore on, Dream’s interest in you never waned—it had only deepened. The way he watched you when you spoke, the subtle way his fingers brushed against yours when he handed you something, all of it spoke of a growing, unspoken affection. It wasn’t clear to you, but he was all too aware: Dream, the Lord of the Dreaming, one of the Endless, had begun to harbour feelings for you.

Dream sits with you on the balcony as you stare up at the stars. His eyes rove over your face - almost as if he's searching for every answer on your face.

"What?" You chuckle, turning to face him, head leaning against the railing, "Do I have something on my face?"

"Nothing you shouldn't? Are you expecting there to be something there?"

Your chuckle turns into a snort as you realise that Dream has never heard that saying before. You try to explain it but give up as Dream's face contorts into more and more confusion.

"Why do you not sleep?"

You suppose you shouldn't be surprised by the question, given that predicament is what led you here in the first place, but it still catches you off guard.

"Umm, I guess I don't know?" You say sitting up properly. "I've never really slept well - my mother always used to say that it was the one bad thing I did as a child. I was just never tired, according to her."

"You didn't feel the need to sleep?" Dream was surprised.

"I suppose, sleeping was lonely - my mother spent a lot of time sleeping as a girl because of the sickness," that made a lot of sense to Dream, "so maybe that had something to do with it. And, I suppose, as I got older, sleeping felt unnecessary because it was lonely."

"What do you mean?"

"I just felt like..." You turned away from him to admit this next bit because you now felt embarrassed that you even thought this way, "Everyone else had dreams to keep them company while they slept. I never had any of that."

You were surprised when Dream took your hand.

"You'll never be lonely here again."

Dream waited for you at the gates again, his black coat flowing around him as the wind picked up. You were late. He was disappointed. And apparently - tonight - disappointment meant winds that were rustling all throughout the dreaming. You were supposed to be here on time tonight. Dream had promised to show you the most beautiful place in the Dreaming - Fiddler's Green, of course, nearly everyone in the Dreaming would agree - and you had almost screamed in excitement when he explained it to you. But now, you were nowhere to be seen.

Hours of waiting later, he decided to check on you. Just because friends look out for each other. No other reason. He briefly thought of sending Matthew, but he knew that Matthew would be slow and may get distracted. Endless don’t get distracted.

Your bedroom window was large and faced away from the street, but there were many street cats in your area. Your fence was not that high - that would have to be fixed - but your window sill was a comfortable place to sit. A small light lit up your entire room. The reason you had not shown up at the dreaming that night, was because you had not fallen asleep

He had not expected it—not after the last time, when he had guided you gently into slumber, ensuring you found rest within the Dreaming. And yet, here you were, sitting up in bed, eyes shadowed with exhaustion, stubbornly clinging to wakefulness.

“You resist sleep once more,” Dream observed, his voice quiet, edged with something that was not quite concerned but close to it.

You huffed a quiet, tired laugh, rubbing at your temples. “Dream? What are you doing here?”

Dream studied you, his pale gaze unreadable. “Why?”

You hesitated, shoulders curling inward slightly. He could see the weight pressing on you, something heavier than just exhaustion. The words slipped out before you could stop them, slow and drowsy, as if your defences were weakened by fatigue.

“Because I love you.”

The room felt impossibly still.

Your voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper, and yet it echoed between you. You swallowed, staring down at your hands, as if regretting saying it out loud. But in your haze of exhaustion, you kept talking.

“I—” You exhaled shakily. “I didn’t want things to be awkward. I didn’t want to ruin anything. But also… I didn’t want to let you go.”

Dream did not move, but something in the air shifted, something ancient and careful. He watched you with an unreadable expression, as though he was considering the weight of your words, the way they settled in the space between you.

Then, at last, he spoke.

“I am fascinated by you as well.”

You let out a small, breathless laugh, more of a tired exhale than anything else. “That’s… probably as close as I’m gonna get to you saying it back, huh?”

Dream did not answer. Instead, he stepped forward, his hands curling around your waist, pulling you close to him. His face just above yours - Dream seemed impossibly tall when he was this close to you - you leaned in, his lips ghosting yours. A small smile pulled at his lips as you blinked up at him, blearily. His fingers barely brushed your temple, and a cool stillness washed over you, easing the tension from your bones. Your eyelids fluttered, your body finally giving in.

“Rest,” he murmured, more of a command than a request. You smiled and acquiesced.

The world around you shifted as you drifted deeper, the familiar comfort of Dream’s arms a constant, grounding force. The dreamscape transformed, and when you woke, you weren’t in the Castle of the Dreaming anymore. The scent of fresh grass, the rustle of leaves, the soft hum of life—it all welcomed you into a new place. Fiddler’s Green.

You blinked, your surroundings coming into focus. Dream was still beside you, but now you were lying in a meadow, the sky above a soft blend of twilight colours. The soft hum of wind around you was gentle, calming. You sat up slowly, looking around, amazed by the serenity of the place.

Dream was watching you with quiet affection, a soft smile on his face as he reached for you. Without thinking, you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his. He didn’t hesitate, cupping your face gently with his hands, as if he’d known this moment would come.

His lips met yours gently at first, a tentative kiss, as though both of you were tasting this newfound connection. And yet, when his arms wrapped around you, drawing you closer, it deepened. Finally, he pulled away, lifting you up gently in his arms. There would be all the time in the world to discover the rest of the Dreaming - and Dream - tomorrow. But for now, it was time to sleep.

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mahalachives · 3 months ago

Text

Part 7: The Night He Wept

Warning: This chapter contains emotional trauma, grief, and one (1) deeply depressed shadowsinger who is Not Doing Well.

Reader discretion advised for intense emotional moments, ambiguous consent regarding mating bonds, rejection fallout, and scenes of vulnerability that may be triggering for those sensitive to abandonment, entrapment, or quiet men crying silently in the garden.

Azriel is having a time. You might, too.

Please take care of your heart. And maybe keep tissues, and a therapist nearby. 💔🕯

Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader

Genre: angst, romcom, humor, fish out of water reader, canon (ish)

Summary: Murdered after a late-night study session in the modern world, you awaken in Prythian—still yourself, but with Fae features and the infamous title of Beron’s cold-hearted and ruthless daughter.

Then, fate snaps the mating bond into place between you and the shadowsinger, Azriel—who rejects it so fiercely, even the magic recoils.

You died a healer. You woke up a villain. Now fate’s mated you to who wants nothing to do with either—you’ll prove them all wrong, one heartbeat at a time.

Between Two Fires - Masterlist

Winnowing was a strange sensation at the best of times.

The world folding around you, compressing to a single point before expanding again.

But this was wrong.

The darkness stretched too long. Your body felt too light, then impossibly heavy.

The pain in your shoulder flared so violently that a scream tore from your throat, though you couldn't hear it through the roaring in your ears.

When reality finally reassembled itself, you were sprawled on unfamiliar ground, Lucien's arms still around you. Rain pelted your face, mingling with the blood that seemed to be everywhere now.

"Stay with me," Lucien commanded, his voice tight with panic. He shifted you in his arms, his face swimming in and out of focus above you.

The trees overhead blurred into a canopy of indistinct shapes.

Not the Dawn Court.

This was still Autumn territory, though not anywhere you recognized.

"Something went wrong," Lucien muttered, more to himself than to you. "Winnowing wounded... shouldn't have risked it."

You tried to answer, to tell him you were fine, but your mouth filled with a metallic taste.

Blood. Your blood.

"Nerissa's cottage is close," Lucien said, his pace quickening as he carried you through the rain. "Just hold on."

The world tilted sickeningly, darkness encroaching at the edges of your vision. The bond in your chest pulsed weakly, like the fluttering of a bird's wings.

The ash tea still burned through your system, keeping the full force of the bond at bay, but doing something else too. Something worse.

"Lucien," you managed, your voice a thread of sound beneath the rain.

He looked down, his mismatched eyes wild with fear. "Don't talk. Save your strength."

But you needed to say it, needed him to understand. "It's stopping me from healing."

His jaw tightened, a flash of understanding and horror crossing his face. "The ash," he whispered. "It suppresses magic."

Including the magic that might have kept you alive.

The cottage appeared ahead, a small structure nestled among ancient oaks. Smoke curled from its chimney despite the rain, lamplight glowing in the windows. Lucien kicked at the door, not bothering with courtesy.

"Nerissa!" he shouted. "I need help!"

The door swung open to reveal an elderly faerie with skin like autumn leaves and eyes of deep, shifting amber. She took one look at you and stepped back, gesturing them inside.

"Put her on the table," she instructed, already moving to gather supplies.

Lucien laid you down gently. You could feel the blood pooling beneath you, soaking into the rough wood. Too much blood.

Nerissa worked quickly, cutting away your sodden clothing to reveal the arrow wound. It had gone straight through, leaving entry and exit wounds that should have been survivable. But the arrow had been tipped with something. You'd seen it glinting green on the arrowhead before it struck you.

"Poison?" Lucien asked, hovering anxiously.

"Yes." Nerissa's voice was grim. "But that's not the worst of it." Her fingers traced the veins spreading outward from the wound. "What has she taken?"

"Ashwood tea," Lucien admitted. "To dampen a mating bond."

Nerissa's hands stilled. "Foolish girl," she breathed. "The ashwood neutralizes all magic, including healing magic."

"Can you help her?" Lucien's voice cracked on the question.

The healer pressed her palms to your wound, closing her eyes in concentration. You felt a warmth trying to penetrate the cold that had settled into your bones, but it was like water sliding off oiled cloth. Nothing took hold.

"The ash wood is blocking me," Nerissa said, frustration evident in her voice. "I can't reach her system to purge the poison."

"There must be something," Lucien insisted. "Some way to counteract it."

"Perhaps..." Nerissa hesitated, then moved to a chest in the corner of the cottage. She rummaged inside, pulling out a small box inlaid with bone. "This is old magic. Before High Lords, before courts."

Your heartbeat stuttered in your chest, each pulse weaker than the last. The pain was receding now, replaced by a spreading numbness that should have terrified you but instead felt like relief.

"Hurry," Lucien urged, his hands pressed to your wound, trying to staunch the bleeding.

Nerissa returned with something cupped in her gnarled hands. "Blood magic," she said softly. "It works outside the normal channels."

"Whatever it takes," Lucien replied without hesitation.

The healer nodded, sprinkled a mixture of herbs and dark powder around your body, forming a circle on the table. "But it requires payment."

"Name it."

"A memory," Nerissa said, her amber eyes fixed on Lucien. "One you value."

Lucien didn't hesitate. "Take it."

She nodded once, then placed her hands on either side of your face. "And from her, we take the poison."

The world started to fade around you, consciousness slipping away. As Nerissa began to chant in a language older than Prythian, your mind drifted free from your body.

And suddenly, you were elsewhere.

A hospital room. Sterile. Bright.

The rhythmic beeping of machines, the soft whoosh of mechanical breathing. And there. A body in a bed. Your body. Tubes and wires connected to machines that kept it alive.

"...no change in brain activity, though the patterns are unusual," a male voice was saying. A doctor. Human.

"What does that mean?" Another voice, your aunt's, thick with tears. "Is she in pain?"

"We don't believe so," the doctor replied gently. "But I'm afraid there's been no improvement since the accident. The coma is stable, but deep."

Coma.

The word registered with a jolt of understanding. Your human body had been in a coma all this time, while your consciousness wandered in Prythian.

"It's been three months," your aunt said, voice breaking. "You said if there was going to be improvement..."

"I know this is difficult to hear," the doctor said, "but at this point, we've done everything medically possible. The rest is up to her. She has to find her way back."

A sob escaped your aunt. You tried to scream, to move, to give any sign that you were there, that you could hear them. But nothing happened.

I'm here! you shouted inside your mind. I'm right here!

But she couldn't hear you. No one could.

Her hand closed around yours, warm and achingly familiar. "Baby, if you can hear me," she whispered, "please come back to us. Please don't go."

And you couldn't. You were trapped between worlds, neither fully in Prythian nor fully in your human body. You wept without tears, screamed without sound, as your aunt's fingers gently stroked your unresponsive hand.

"I'll be back tomorrow," she promised, her voice thick with grief. "I love you. Always."

As she moved away, your awareness began to fade, the hospital room growing distant. The beeping of the heart monitor receded, replaced by a different sound. Nerissa's chanting, Lucien's desperate pleas.

You were being pulled back, drawn inexorably toward the body dying on that wooden table.

Back to Prythian.

Part of you wanted to resist, to stay with your aunt, in your world. But your human body was beyond your reach now, your consciousness tethered to this new existence whether you wanted it or not.

The cottage materialized around you, time seemingly frozen in the moment of your almost-death. Lucien's hands pressed against your wound, his face contorted with grief and determination. Nerissa stood with palms outstretched, her blood magic pulsing in crimson waves that fought against the ashwood in your system.

As your consciousness settled back into your dying body, the cottage snapped into focus, time resuming its normal flow.

Pain flooded back, the poison and blood loss and failing heart. But something else came with it. Nerissa's magic, dark and ancient, finding pathways the ash tea couldn't block.

"There," she whispered, triumph in her voice. "The blood accepts blood."

Your back arched off the table as your heart lurched painfully in your chest, giving one strong beat, then another. Blood that had been sluggishly seeping from your wound slowed, then stopped entirely as the wound began to close under Nerissa's touch.

"She's returning," Nerissa said, watching as color crept back into your cheeks. "But changed."

Lucien sagged with relief, his hand finding yours and squeezing tight. "Thank the Cauldron."

"Don't thank anything yet," the healer warned. "The poison is gone, but the ashwood remains. It will be days before it leaves her system entirely."

"And the bond?" Lucien asked quietly.

"Muted, still. But present." Nerissa's amber eyes fixed on your face with uncomfortable intensity. "Though I sense there is more to this bond than meets the eye. It stretches... elsewhere."

You wanted to weep, to tell them about the other world, about your aunt sitting by a hospital bed, about the life you might never return to. But exhaustion pulled you under, the trauma and magic and sheer weight of your double existence too much to bear.

As consciousness faded once more, one terrible certainty remained.

You weren't going home.

Not to your aunt. Not to your real body.

The bond had claimed you for Prythian.

And somewhere far to the north, a shadowsinger flew through rain and darkness, driven by a golden thread he couldn't ignore and didn't understand coming to find what belonged to him, whether either of you wanted it or not.

You drifted in and out of consciousness, the bitter taste of Nerissa's medicine lingering on your tongue. The cottage was quiet save for the steady patter of rain on the thatched roof and the occasional crackling of the hearth fire. Night had fallen, turning the windows into black mirrors that reflected the warm glow within.

Voices pulled you from the edge of sleep hushed, tense, just beyond your door.

"You should have taken her straight to Dawn," came Eris's voice, pitched low but sharp with anger. "Not stopped at this hovel."

"She was dying," Lucien replied, his tone equally tense. "The arrow had pierced clean through, and she was losing too much blood. I made the call I had to make."

"And now five fae are dead."

Your breath caught. You kept your eyes closed, feigning sleep while straining to hear.

"What are you talking about?" Lucien asked.

"Your little escape from the estate didn't go unnoticed," Eris said. "Word travels, even in rain and darkness. The shadowsinger found the burning ruins."

The bond in your chest gave a sudden, sharp tug at the mention of Azriel. You ignored it, focusing on the conversation.

"Impossible," Lucien breathed. "He couldn't have tracked us that quickly."

"He didn't need to track you," Eris replied, disgust evident in his voice. "He simply followed the chaos you left behind. And when he found your little mess, he found the hunters who survived the fire."

A pause. Then, "He killed them all, Lucien. One by one."

"They tried to kill her," Lucien said, but there was uncertainty in his voice. "They deserved-"

"That's not the point," Eris cut in. "The point is the way he did it. Cold. Calculated. My source said he was completely composed."

"Bond-sickness should have driven him to madness by now," Lucien said, confusion evident in his voice. "Especially after her injury. He should be feral, uncontrolled."

"But he's not," Eris replied, something like reluctant respect in his tone. "It's as if the bond has given him clarity rather than chaos. He's more focused, more deadly than ever."

The bond pulsed again, stronger this time, sending a wave of heat through your veins despite the ash tea still lingering in your system. You pressed your hand to your chest, willing it to be quiet, to let you hear.

"You sound almost impressed," Lucien said with disbelief.

"I can recognize a dangerous opponent without liking him," Eris replied. "And the shadowsinger has become something… formidable. The bond hasn't weakened him as it should have. It's strengthened him, focused him."

"What does that mean for her?" Lucien's voice had an edge of concern now.

"It means he won't stop," Eris said simply. "Not for borders or laws or High Lords. Not until he finds her. And he will find her with a determination that even Rhysand might find disturbing."

"She's not some possession to be claimed," Lucien said.

"I don't think that's what he sees anymore," Eris replied thoughtfully. "My source said he moved differently, spoke differently. Not like a male hunting a possession, but like one seeking his other half. There was purpose there, not just obsession."

You shivered despite yourself, remembering the cold precision of Azriel's rejection. The harsh words. The shadows that nevertheless had caressed your cheek with strange tenderness.

"We need to move her to Dawn Court as soon as we can," Eris continued, his voice urgent now. "We leave at first light."

"And when she's healed?" Lucien asked. "We can't keep her hidden forever, even in Dawn Court."

A longer silence fell. When Eris spoke again, his voice was softer, almost resigned.

"No. Eventually, she'll have to face him. But on her terms, not his. When she's strong enough to make her own choice."

"And if she chooses him?"

"Then we respect her decision," Eris said. "But it will be her choice. Not the bond's. Not his. Not even ours."

The bond gave another insistent tug, as if in agreement with their words. This time, you couldn't suppress the small gasp that escaped your lips as golden light briefly pulsed beneath your skin.

The conversation outside your door immediately ceased. Footsteps approached, and you quickly closed your eyes, forcing your breathing to even out.

The door creaked open. You could sense them both standing there, watching you.

"She shouldn't be moved tomorrow," Lucien said quietly. "She's still too weak."

"The alternative is waiting for the shadowsinger to find her," Eris replied. "And I promise you, brother, he's already hunting."

You expected to hear the door close, but instead, footsteps approached your bedside. The mattress dipped slightly as someone sat beside you. A warm hand gently brushed the hair from your forehead a touch so unexpectedly tender that you nearly gave yourself away by opening your eyes.

"I'll check the perimeter again," Lucien said softly from the doorway. "Make sure Nerissa's wards are holding."

The door closed with a quiet click, leaving you alone with Eris. His hand remained on your forehead, a comforting weight that felt strangely familiar, as if your body remembered a touch your mind did not.

"I know you're awake," Eris said quietly, no anger in his voice, just weary resignation.

You opened your eyes, meeting his amber gaze. In the dim light of the single candle, his normally harsh features seemed softer, more human.

"How much did you hear?" he asked.

"Enough," you whispered. "Five dead."

Eris nodded, his hand still resting on your forehead. "The shadowsinger is… not what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"A rabid animal," he said frankly. "Bond-sickness usually breaks a male, especially one who has rejected the bond initially. It should have driven him mad."

"But it didn't," you said, the words a question more than a statement.

Eris studied your face, his expression unreadable. "No. It changed him, but not in the way I anticipated. It's as if…" He paused, seeming to search for the right words. "As if he's found his purpose."

The bond hummed quietly in your chest, neither painful nor insistent, just… present.

"Are you afraid of him?" Eris asked, surprising you with his directness.

You considered the question, truly considered it. "I don't know," you admitted. "I should be. But…"

"But the bond tells you differently," he finished for you.

You nodded, unable to deny it. "Does that make me a fool?"

A ghost of a smile touched Eris's lips. "No more than any of us who have been touched by the Cauldron's whims."

His hand moved from your forehead to take one of yours, his grip firm but gentle. It was such an unexpectedly brotherly gesture that tears sprang to your eyes. "Why are you trying to protect me."

"You're still my sister," he replied, as if that explained everything. And perhaps it did.

He squeezed your hand once before releasing it. "Rest. Tomorrow will be challenging enough without you exhausting yourself eavesdropping. The journey to Dawn Court will test your strength."

As he rose to leave, you caught his sleeve. "Eris."

He paused, looking down at you.

"Thank you."

He didn't smile you weren't sure Eris truly knew how but his expression softened slightly. He placed his hand briefly on top of your head in a gesture so familial, so protective, that it made your heart ache. Then, in a movement so quick and gentle you might have imagined it, he bent down and pressed a kiss to your head.

"Sleep, little flame," he said quietly, using what must have been a childhood nickname. "Your brothers are watching over you."

It lingered like a blessing, so unexpected from the cold, calculating male you'd come to know. It spoke of a past you couldn't remember, of a bond deeper than politics or court alliances.

Then he was gone, the door closing silently behind him, leaving only the faint scent of cinnamon and smoke to prove he'd been there at all.

You turned your face to the pillow, confused tears slipping down your cheeks. The bond sang its golden song in your blood, but now another bond one of family, of blood and choice and unexpected protection wrapped around you as well.

Tomorrow you would leave with your newfound brothers, flee to Dawn Court, continue fighting against the bond that tried to claim you.

But tonight, in the darkness where no one could see, you allowed yourself to wonder about the male who had found clarity rather than madness in your connection. Who sought you not as a possession, but as his missing piece.

And for the first time, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, there might be a choice that didn't require you to run from one bond to preserve another.

You were barely conscious when you arrived at the Dawn Court. The journey had taken what remained of your strength, Lucien and Eris winnowing you through multiple points to throw off any trackers. Your vision had tunneled to pinpricks of light, voices coming to you as if through water.

“She needs immediate attention,” someone said, their voice musical yet commanding. “Bring her to the eastern chambers.”

Hands lifted you onto something soft that floated beneath you, carrying you through corridors scented with jasmine and morning light. You tried to focus, to thank whoever was helping you, but consciousness slipped away again. Replaced by a different scene entirely.

The hospital room. The beeping monitors. Your aunt’s voice, thick with tears.

“It’s been over three months now, and the doctors say… they say we should consider…” Her voice broke. “I can’t give up on you. I won’t.”

You tried to reach for her, to tell her you were there, that you could hear her, but an invisible barrier held you back.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, could only watch as she pressed her forehead against your unresponsive hand.

“Come back to us,” she whispered. “Please come back.”

The scene dissolved, replaced by a Dawn Court ceiling painted with a perpetual sunrise. Healers moved around you, their hands stirring gentle currents of air that smelled of herbs and magic. You let yourself drift, caught between worlds, belonging to neither.

Days passed this way. Sometimes you were in Prythian, vaguely aware of people tending to you, speaking about you as if you couldn’t hear.

Other times you were in the hospital room, a prisoner in your own unresponsive body, watching your family grieve.

You never fully woke. Never fully slept.

You simply existed in a gray space between, the mating bond a dull ache in your chest. A tether to a world you hadn’t chosen but couldn’t escape.

On the fourth day. Or maybe the fifth; time had become fluid, unreliable, you heard Eris’s voice.

“Is there improvement?” he asked someone you couldn’t see.

“Her physical wounds are healing,” came the reply, a female voice, likely a healer. “But she remains unconscious.”

“And the bond?” Eris’s voice was carefully neutral, revealing nothing.

“Stable, but stressed. The separation isn’t helping.”

“It’s necessary,” Eris said firmly. “Beron has every tracker in Autumn searching for her. He’s even approached the Spring Court for assistance, claiming she was abducted.”

“Lord Thesan understands the situation,” the healer assured him. “Our wards will hold.”

Their voices faded as you slipped back into the liminal space, pulled toward your human body once more. The hospital room seemed dimmer this time, night having fallen. A different family member. Your cousin, sat beside your bed, reading aloud from your favorite book as if you might hear and find your way back through the words.

You drifted again, caught in the riptide between worlds.

When awareness returned, Lucien sat beside your Dawn Court bed, his metal eye whirring softly as he studied your face.

“You need to wake up properly,” he said quietly, as if sensing you could hear him even in your half‑conscious state. “Ember and Sizzle are terrorizing the servants. Yesterday they set fire to Thesan’s favorite tapestry, and the day before that they somehow got into the kitchens and charbroiled an entire week’s worth of pastries.”

As if summoned by their names, you felt two small, warm weights settle on either side of your pillow, your flame‑bunnies, who had apparently appointed themselves your guardians in this strange, suspended state.

“Troublemakers,” Lucien continued, his voice fond despite his words.

You wanted to respond, to reach out, but the pull of the other world was too strong. Back in the hospital, a doctor was speaking to your aunt, using words like persistent vegetative state and difficult decisions ahead. You tried to scream, to let them know you were there, trapped between lives, unable to fully claim either.

Fragments of conversation drifted through the fog of days.

“Beron grows more desperate. He’s threatened the Summer Court with retaliation if they don’t assist in the search.”

“Why is he so fixated on finding her? He never showed such concern before.”

Eris sighed, after a long pause, “Because she defied him. Beron doesn’t care about her, only about making an example of her. He intends to show what happens to those who defy the High Lord of Autumn.”

The words pierced the haze. Rage and wounded pride, nothing more. The bond flared at the thought, golden light flickering beneath your skin.

Your eyes opened properly for the first time since arriving at Dawn Court. The chamber around you was beautiful in a way the Autumn Court could never manage. Soft light and gentle curves, crystals catching and amplifying the eternal dawn.

Ember and Sizzle, dozing on your pillow, perked up, their tiny flame forms brightening with excitement. They hopped around your head, chirping happily and leaving small scorch marks on the luxurious bedding.

“Look who’s finally decided to join the land of the living,” Lucien said from the doorway, arms crossed yet visibly relieved. “Just in time, too. Your little fire hazards were about to be banished to the fountain for their own good.”

Ember looked deeply offended. Sizzle, indifferent, continued exploring, leaving paw‑prints of ash on silken sheets.

“How long?” you croaked.

“Nine days,” Lucien replied, pouring water from a crystal carafe. “You’ve been… elsewhere.”

You drank gratefully, but kept your secrets close. “It feels like I’ve been dreaming. Strange dreams.”

Lucien’s metal eye whirred faster. “Trauma often sends the mind searching for escape.”

“And the bond?” You pressed a hand to the golden thread pulsing in your chest.

“Still there,” he said. “What it means… we’ll see.”

Eris appeared, amber eyes widening at the sight of you upright. “Just in time for the latest crisis.”

“What crisis?” you asked, reaching for Ember, who hopped into your palm with a contented chirp.

“Beron has discovered your location or suspects it,” Eris replied grimly. “He’s petitioning Thesan for a formal search of Dawn Court grounds.”

“Will Thesan agree?”

“No,” Eris said, confident. “Thesan’s no friend to Autumn. But we must strengthen your protection and plan for a swift departure.”

“Why is Beron so determined? Is it really just because I defied him?”

“He’s furious,” Eris said. “When you ran, you humiliated him. Our father sees you as property, not a daughter.”

“But we won’t let that happen,” Lucien added. “Get your strength back. We may need to move soon.”

Exhaustion washed over you as they left to make arrangements. Ember and Sizzle curled against your side, warm and comforting.

“What am I doing?” you whispered to them. “Caught between worlds while my human body lies dying in a hospital? I can’t tell them. They’d never understand.”

Ember shrugged—a strangely human gesture—and you laughed despite everything.

You slept properly for the first time since arriving at Dawn Court. When you woke, actual sunlight. Not the court’s perpetual glow—streamed through your windows. You’d slept through an entire day and night.

A tray waited. Fruit glowing from within, bread still warm, tea perfectly steeped. You ate ravenously, surprised by your appetite.

Feeling stronger, you explored your chamber. Elegant furniture seemed to grow from the floor; crystal windows refracted light into rainbows; a bathing pool steamed with jasmine‑scented springs.

A knock interrupted. A Dawn Court servant bowed. “Lady, Lord Thesan requests your presence in the eastern garden when you feel strong enough. Your brothers await you there.”

Brothers. The word still felt wrong. They shared blood with this body, but were strangers to the consciousness within.

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll come now.”

She left a simple, beautiful gown of pale gold that captured dawn‑light. You dressed quickly, surprised by your regained strength. Ember and Sizzle followed as you walked the corridors; servants stared at your flame‑pets as tiny scorch marks dotted the polished floors.

The garden embodied Dawn Court restraint: pale‑barked trees with glowing blossoms, crushed‑white‑stone paths, fountains singing as water leapt from tier to tier.

Thesan waited by one fountain, his copper skin glinting under the gleaming light.

“Lady of Autumn,” He greeted, kindness warming his ancient eyes. “I’m pleased to see you recovered. Your unconscious state caused us concern.”

“Thank you for your hospitality and protection, Lord Thesan,” you replied, bowing your head. “I’m sorry for any trouble my presence has caused.”

“No trouble,” Thesan assured. “Dawn Court is a place of healing and transition.” His gaze flicked to Ember and Sizzle, currently scaling the fountain with disastrous enthusiasm. “Though your companions have provided some… unexpected excitement.”

“They’re impossible,” you said, stifling a smile as Sizzle slipped into the water with a hiss of steam. “But they mean well.”

“Indeed.” Thesan’s expression sobered. “I hope your stay, however brief, brings peace. Dawn Court lives in the moment of transition between night and day. A reminder that no state is permanent, only change.”

You wondered if he sensed your divided nature, but his face revealed only polite welcome.

“Thank you, Lord Thesan,” you said. “I hope to enjoy what Dawn Court offers for as long as I may stay.”

As talk turned to mundane matters of accommodation and security, the hospital surfaced in your mind, distant now, faint. Your human family still kept vigil, but their voices reached you as though from a deep well.

The bond tugged you toward this world, this reality. Answers about Beron, the bond, and yourself, waited beyond Dawn Court’s perpetual sunrise.

For now, you would gather strength and keep your secrets close, navigating this strange existence between two worlds.

The Dawn Court's borders shimmered in the perpetual half light, a gossamer veil of magic that separated Thesan's realm from the rest of Prythian.

Azriel stood before it, unmoving as he had been for days now, his shadows writhing around him in agitated tendrils that reflected the turmoil within.

The sentries watched him warily from their posts.

The shadowsinger of the Night Court had arrived five days ago, taking position at the eastern border where the magic was thinnest. He'd made no move to cross, no attempt to infiltrate.

He simply... waited. Watching. Sometimes pacing, but mostly standing in silent vigil, his haggard appearance growing more concerning with each passing day.

"He hasn't eaten since yesterday," one sentry murmured to another as they changed shifts. "Barely sleeps either. Just stands there, staring."

"Should we report to Lord Thesan again?"

"Already did. He said to continue observation only."

Azriel heard them, of course.

His Illyrian hearing could pick up a whisper from across a battlefield. But he gave no indication, his focus turned inward to the golden thread that pulsed in his chest sometimes painfully bright, sometimes a dull ache, but always pulling him toward the heart of Dawn Court.

Toward you.

His wings, normally immaculate, showed signs of neglect the leathery membranes dull rather than gleaming. Dark stubble shadowed his usually clean shaven jaw, while circles beneath his eyes gave his already severe features a haunted quality.

The shadows themselves had changed.

Those who knew Azriel well would have noticed immediately they no longer moved with calculated precision, no longer seemed like tools under his absolute control. Instead, they reached, they yearned, stretching toward the border before being pulled back to coil around their master like protective serpents.

When the Dawn Court emissary finally approached, Azriel's eyes sharpened with predatory focus, though he made no move toward the slender fae who approached with hands raised in peaceful gesture.

"Shadowsinger," the emissary greeted formally. "Lord Thesan acknowledges your presence at our borders and invites you to an audience."

Azriel's voice, when he finally spoke, was rough from disuse. "When?"

"Now, if you're willing."

Azriel gave a single, sharp nod.

The emissary gestured toward the border, which parted like silk curtains to admit him. The moment he crossed, he felt the weight of Dawn Court wards settle around him not hostile, but watchful, ready to neutralize any threat.

As they walked through forests bathed in perpetual sunrise, Azriel's shadows retreated closer to his body, as if uncomfortable in the gentle light. His hand drifted occasionally to the hilt of Truth Teller at his hip not in threat, but from habit, seeking comfort in the familiar weight.

The golden thread in his chest pulled harder with each step toward the palace, almost painfully tight now.

Somewhere ahead, you waited.

Somewhere ahead, the other half of his soul lived and breathed, perhaps hating him for the cruel words he'd spat at you when the bond had first snapped into place.

"I reject you," he had told you weeks ago, the memory flashing unbidden through his mind.

Your face had crumpled at his coldness, the bond between you shuddering with your pain. He had turned away then, unable to face what he'd done.

The Dawn Court palace rose before them, its crystalline spires capturing the eternal sunrise and fracturing it into rainbows that danced across polished facades.

Even in his state of agitation, Azriel could appreciate its beauty so different from the shadowed grandeur of the Night Court, yet magnificent in its own way.

They led him not to the grand audience chamber, but to a smaller, more intimate garden terrace where Thesan waited alone. The High Lord of Dawn studied Azriel with ancient eyes that held no hostility, only careful assessment.

"Shadowsinger," Thesan greeted. "You've caused quite a stir, maintaining your vigil at my borders."

Azriel inclined his head slightly, the closest he could manage to courtly manners in his current state. "I meant no disrespect."

"None was taken." Thesan gestured to a seat across from him, but Azriel remained standing. The High Lord didn't press the issue. "Your appearance suggests you have not been caring for yourself."

Azriel made no reply.

His state was obvious enough the weight he'd lost, the gauntness in his face, the shadows under his eyes that had nothing to do with his power.

"Why have you come, Shadowsinger?" Thesan asked, though his tone suggested he already knew.

Azriel's gaze lifted to meet the High Lord's, and something in that gaze the raw emotion, the quiet desperation seemed to soften Thesan's expression.

"I don't demand to see her," Azriel said, the words clearly difficult. "I don't demand anything."

"A refreshing approach," Thesan noted. "Most males in your position would be tearing apart my court stone by stone."

Azriel's jaw tightened beneath the dark stubble. "Is she well?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

The simple question, asked with such carefully restrained concern, seemed to surprise Thesan, who studied the shadowsinger with renewed interest.

"She is recovering," the High Lord finally replied. "Both physically and... otherwise."

"The arrow wound?" Azriel's shadows twisted anxiously.

"Healed, for the most part. Though there were complications."

Azriel nodded once, his gloved hands clenching. "Has she been able to rest? To eat properly?"

"She's regaining her strength," Thesan answered, watching Azriel carefully.

"And her flame creatures? They're with her?"

A slight smile touched Thesan's lips. "They've caused quite a stir among my household staff. Very protective of her."

Relief flickered across Azriel's face. "Good. That's... good." He paused, then asked, "Is she safe here?"

"As safe as anyone can be in these turbulent times," Thesan replied. "Though Beron's interest in her whereabouts grows more aggressive by the day."

"Has Beron threatened her directly?" Azriel asked, shadows darkening. "Are his agents watching the borders?"

"Your concern is noted, Shadowsinger," Thesan said evenly. "Though I assure you, Dawn Court is quite capable of protecting its guests."

"I don't question your capabilities," Azriel said quietly. "I only wish to know if there's anything I can do to help ensure her safety."

Thesan's eyebrows rose slightly. "You offer assistance to Dawn Court?"

"I offer whatever is needed to ensure she's protected," Azriel replied, the words a quiet vow. "I only ask permission to remain here... at a distance. To help ensure her safety without intruding on her peace."

"And if she doesn't wish you to stay?" Thesan asked, watching him carefully.

"Then I'll go," Azriel said immediately. "But I would station myself at your borders, with your permission."

Thesan studied him for a long moment. "The bond has changed you."

"She has changed me," Azriel corrected softly, then fell silent, as if he'd already said too much about himself.

Thesan's expression showed genuine surprise, then approval. "That is a rare understanding, even among those far older than yourself."

Azriel looked toward the eastern wing of the palace, where the golden thread in his chest pulled insistently. "I don't ask to see her. I don't deserve it."

"And if she chooses to never see you again?" Thesan asked, his tone gentle but probing.

"Then I will protect her from afar," Azriel replied without hesitation. "Whether she claims me or not, she has my dagger, my shadows, my life if needed."

Thesan was silent for a long moment. Then, "You speak of choice, yet you've been at my borders for five days, barely eating, barely sleeping. The bond drives you still."

"The bond drives me to ensure her safety and happiness," Azriel corrected quietly. "Not to possess her."

Something in his words seemed to satisfy Thesan, who nodded slowly. "Rest here tonight, Shadowsinger. Food and quarters will be provided."

Azriel stiffened. "I don't wish to impose-"

"It is not," Thesan interrupted gently. "It is a High Lord's hospitality to a warrior who has clearly reached his limits."

Before Azriel could respond, a flicker of movement caught his attention a flash of fire from a nearby corridor, there and gone in an instant. His shadows surged in that direction, sensing rather than seeing, and Azriel went completely still.

You were near.

So close that the bond sang between you, golden light briefly visible beneath his skin. His wings twitched with the instinct to move toward you, but he held himself rigidly in place, refusing to push, to intrude.

Thesan rose, "A room will be prepared for you. Food brought. I suggest you accept both, Shadowsinger, before you collapse."

As if his body had been waiting for permission, a wave of exhaustion swept through Azriel. He inclined his head in acceptance, shadows swirling tiredly around him.

"Thank you," Azriel replied, the words raw with genuine gratitude.

As a Dawn Court attendant led him to guest quarters, Azriel felt the golden thread in his chest ease slightly, as if knowing he was under the same roof even floors and corridors away was enough to soothe its constant pull. He followed quietly, each step taking enormous effort now that the adrenaline of meeting with Thesan had faded.

In his room, food had already been laid out fruits that seemed to glow from within, bread still warm from the oven, and a carafe of wine that caught the light like liquid rubies.

Azriel could barely remember the last time he'd eaten properly. The days at the border had blurred together, hunger and thirst secondary to the need to be near you, to know you were safe.

He ate mechanically, his body demanding sustenance even as his mind remained focused on the bond connecting him to you. It felt different here less painful, more... anticipatory. As if the bond itself knew that separation couldn't last forever, one way or another.

After eating, he moved to the balcony that overlooked gardens awash in perpetual dawn light. He breathed deeply, letting his shadows expand and contract with each breath. Somewhere in this palace, you were making your own choice. Whether that choice included him or not, he would honor it.

His gloved fingers absently rubbed at the stubble on his jaw as he stared out at the Dawn Court's eternal sunrise. He didn't care about his haggard appearance, his exhaustion, or his hunger. He cared only about one thing.

That you were safe. That you were healing. That you had everything you needed.

The rest including whether you ever forgave him was entirely your choice.

And for the first time in his long life, the shadowsinger surrendered completely to a power greater than his formidable will.

The choice was yours.

The healing chambers of the Dawn Court became your sanctuary.

After weeks of recovery, you found yourself drawn to the eastern wing of Thesan's palace where injured fae came seeking help.

At first, you simply observed, fascinated by the Dawn healers' methods so different from Autumn Court magic, which focused on destruction rather than restoration.

"You have a natural aptitude," remarked Alis, the chief healer, as you handed her crushed herbs for a poultice.

Her amber eyes studied you with interest. "Your touch calms the patients."

You shrugged, uncomfortable with the praise. "I'm just trying to be useful."

"Nonsense," she replied briskly. "Your energy has healing properties. I suspect it's always been there, just... misdirected in Autumn."

The work gave you purpose, a reason to rise each morning despite the persistent ache of the bond in your chest.

The ash tea's effects had finally worn off completely, leaving you with the full strength of the mating bond, a golden thread that tugged constantly toward the western edge of the palace grounds.

You ignored it. Deliberately. Fiercely.

Instead, you threw yourself into learning. Into living. Into rebuilding a life that was wholly your own.

"The lavender infusion needs straining," you told one of the younger healers as you moved through the sunlit chamber, checking on patients.

The Dawn Court's perpetual sunrise streamed through crystal windows, bathing everything in a golden glow that enhanced healing magic.

As you reached for fresh bandages on a high shelf, you felt it again the sensation of being watched.

It had been happening for days now, a prickling awareness that raised the fine hairs on your neck. You turned sharply, scanning the room, the doorway, the windows.

Nothing. No one.

Just as there had been nothing the day before, or the day before that.

You pushed the feeling aside. Dawn Court was full of secrets and hidden watchers perimeter guards, palace attendants, the Peregryn warriors who served as Thesan's elite force. Any of them might have reason to observe an Autumn Court refugee with unusual healing abilities.

It meant nothing.

"You look tired," Lucien commented that evening as you joined him for a simple dinner in your private quarters.

Eris had already departed another brief visit concluded. His position in Autumn Court required maintaining appearances, which meant he couldn't stay long in Dawn without raising suspicions. "The healing work is draining you."

"I'm fine," you replied, helping yourself to roasted quail and honeyed vegetables. "It's good to be useful."

Lucien studied you for a moment. "You've settled in quickly."

"The Dawn Court suits me," you admitted.

The constant sunrise felt like hope made manifest neither trapped in darkness nor exposed to harsh daylight. Just endless possibility.

Later that night, as you prepared for bed, you noticed something on your balcony a small parcel wrapped in midnight-blue silk, secured with a silver ribbon.

Your heart beat faster as you approached it warily. It hadn't been there earlier. Someone had placed it there while you dined.

With cautious fingers, you untied the ribbon.

Inside lay a delicate silver bracelet, each link shaped like a tiny flame that somehow captured the dawn light and reflected it in golden hues. It was beautiful understated yet distinctive, nothing like the ostentatious Autumn Court jewelry you'd seen.

A small note accompanied it, written in an elegant, angular hand.

For protection and healing.

No signature. None needed.

You knew instantly who had left it, just as you knew who had been watching from the shadows.

Azriel.

Anger flared hot and sudden. You stormed from your room, bracelet clutched in your fist. The bond pulsed wildly as you marched through the Dawn Court halls, following its pull like a compass.

You found Lucien in the library, browsing ancient texts by lamplight.

"You knew," you accused, throwing the bracelet onto the table before him. It clattered against the polished wood. "You knew he was here."

Lucien didn't feign ignorance. "Thesan granted him sanctuary three days ago."

"Why wasn't I told?" The flames in the nearby hearth flickered higher, responding to your anger.

"Because you're still healing," Lucien said carefully. "And because he specifically asked not to disturb your peace."

"That's not your decision to make," you snapped. "Or his. Or Thesan's."

"No," Lucien agreed quietly. "It's not. But the damage he did to you when the bond first appeared-"

"Is between him and me."

Lucien studied you. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Why is he here? What does he want? How long has Thesan been sheltering him?"

"Let's find Thesan," Lucien suggested. "He can explain better than I can."

The High Lord received you in his private study despite the late hour. His golden-brown skin seemed to glow with the same light as the perpetual dawn outside, his eyes keen as he gestured for you to sit.

"I expected this visit sooner," Thesan said, pouring three glasses of pale wine. "The shadowsinger arrived at our borders five days ago and simply waited. No demands, no threats."

"Unlike most males in his position," Lucien added.

"Why is he here?" you demanded.

"For you," Thesan said simply. "Though he claims he expects nothing in return. He stood at our borders for days, barely eating, barely sleeping."

"The bond drives him," Lucien explained.

"No," Thesan corrected. "He believes the bond drives him to ensure your safety and happiness, not to possess you. His words, not mine. He offered his services to Dawn Court as additional protection against Beron's growing interest in your whereabouts."

You scoffed. "How convenient."

"I'm not asking you to forgive him," Thesan said. "But I thought his approach unusual. Most fae males, especially warriors of his caliber, would have demanded access to you, claimed ancient rights. He asked only to know that you were healing well."

"The gifts?" you asked.

Thesan's expression softened. "Those were not my idea, nor did I explicitly permit them. But I saw no harm."

"He's a shadowsinger," you said flatly. "Of course you didn't catch him."

"I see more than you might think," Thesan replied, unruffled. "The question is, what do you want done? I can send him away if that's your wish."

The question caught you off guard. You'd been so focused on your anger at being kept in the dark that you hadn't considered what you actually wanted.

Your chair scraped harshly as you stood. "He's not welcome anywhere near me."

"Very well," Thesan began. "I'll inform-"

"No." You cut him off, walking toward the door. "You don't get to play matchmaker, Thesan. Neither of you do. You had no right to keep this from me."

"That wasn't our intent," Lucien said.

You paused at the doorway, not looking back. "I'm not a piece in whatever game you're playing."

You left without waiting for a response, your anger a living thing inside you. But beneath it, the bond hummed, carrying an emotion that wasn't entirely your own, relief, perhaps, that you now knew he was here. That there was no more need for shadows and secrets.

You hated how your body responded to that knowledge, how the pain in your chest had eased slightly despite your fury.

"What is this, Medieval Instagram?" you muttered to yourself later, staring at the bracelet.

You set the bracelet aside, ignoring the insistent tug of the bond in your chest.

After a moment's hesitation, you didn't throw it away, but placed it in a drawer instead.

Out of sight, if not entirely out of mind.

The gifts continued over the following days.

A small pot of healing salve appeared on your balcony, its properties more potent than anything in the Dawn Court's extensive collection. Alis marveled at its efficacy, asking where you'd obtained it.

You couldn't bring yourself to tell her.

Then came a set of delicate crystal vials for holding medicinal tinctures, each stopper carved in the shape of a different healing herb. Next, a rare book on ancient healing techniques, its pages clearly carefully selected to align with your growing interests.

You placed each gift in the drawer with the bracelet, refusing to use them, refusing to acknowledge them in any way.

Yet you found yourself opening that drawer each night, running your fingers over the items, wondering what might appear next. The gifts felt like messages, each one saying. I see you. I know you. I'm sorry. Words the shadowsinger wouldn't couldn't say to your face.

One evening, you discovered a small wooden carving of a flame bunny on your balcony, so detailed it captured Ember's mischievous expression perfectly.

You ran your fingers over the intricate workmanship despite yourself. You placed the carving with the other gifts, trying to ignore how perfectly it fit in your palm, how the weight of it felt oddly comforting.

The next day, as you walked from the healing chambers to your rooms, you felt the familiar prickling sensation of being watched. This time, rather than ignoring it, you stopped abruptly in the middle of the corridor.

"I know you're there," you said quietly, not turning around. "Following me like a shadow. Very original, by the way. So this is the Fae version of sliding into my DMs?"

No response came, but the air seemed to thicken, darkness gathering in the corners despite the eternal dawn light streaming through the windows.

Did the shadows just... ripple? As if caught off-guard by your strange reference?

"This is childish," you continued, still facing forward.

The shadows stirred, a whisper of movement that might have been mistaken for a draft if you hadn't been listening for it.

"Nothing to say for yourself?" You finally turned, scanning the seemingly empty corridor. "Fine. Keep hiding."

As you continued to your rooms, the sensation of being watched gradually faded.

By the time you reached your door, you felt alone again the bond still tugging insistently, but the immediate presence gone.

That night, no gift appeared on your balcony.

Nor the next night. Nor the one after that.

You told yourself you were relieved.

That the game, whatever it had been, was finally over. Yet each evening, you found yourself glancing toward the balcony, expecting perhaps even hoping to find another small token.

"This is why we can't have nice things," you muttered to yourself, annoyed at your own disappointment.

Ember and Sizzle seemed agitated, pacing the balcony each evening, their tiny forms of rosy-pink flame flickering with what seemed like disappointment when they found nothing new. They'd grown oddly attached to investigating each gift, sniffing and circling the items with inexplicable interest.

On the fourth night without a gift, Ember hopped onto your vanity table as you prepared for bed. His pink flame form flickered restlessly as he pawed at the drawer where you'd stored the shadowsinger's gifts.

"Stop that," you said, shooing him away. "It's nothing. My own personal Edward Cullen with wings sends his regards," you said with an eye roll that would have confused any purebred Fae.

Ember made a soft, crackling sound not words, but clearly displeasure. He continued pawing at the drawer until you relented and opened it, if only to prevent him from scorching the wood.

"There. See? Just trinkets," you told him firmly.

A soft chirp from the balcony drew your attention. Sizzle stood at the doors, her pink flame form brightening as she squeezed through the small gap you always left open for their nocturnal explorations.

"Sizzle! Get back here," you called, alarmed. She'd never ventured outside alone at night before.

Ember seized the opportunity created by your distraction to grab the wooden carving of himself, following his sister through the gap before you could stop him.

Moving to the balcony doors, you hesitated, then pushed them open fully, stepping out into the cool night air. The balcony was empty.

They must have scrambled down the ivy that covered this section of the palace wall. You leaned over the railing, trying to spot two tiny points of pink flame in the gardens below.

Nothing.

Without thinking, you grabbed a shawl and hurried from your rooms, making your way through the quiet palace corridors toward the gardens.

The bond in your chest seemed to pulse more insistently with each step, as if approving your destination even as you remained ignorant of it.

The night air carried the scent of Dawn Court roses as you entered the gardens, their blooms glowing faintly in the perpetual twilight. You called softly for your companions, listening for the distinctive crackle of their flame-steps on the gravel paths.

A flicker of movement caught your eye not the pink of your flame bunnies, but a deeper shadow among shadows near a secluded bench beneath a flowering tree.

Your steps slowed as you recognized the silhouette seated there, two tiny points of pink flame dancing around his feet.

The traitors had found exactly who they were looking for.

Azriel sat perfectly still as Ember and Sizzle circled him, emitting excited little crackles of flame. In the shadowsinger's gloved hands lay the wooden carving of Ember, which he appeared to be showing to the real thing.

His wings were folded tightly against his back, his expression hidden in shadow. The leather gloves he always wore seemed particularly dark against the pale wood of the carving.

You could have retreated should have retreated.

He hadn't noticed you yet, focused entirely on your flame companions. But your feet carried you forward instead, drawn by equal parts irritation at your pets' betrayal and the insistent pull of the bond.

You approached silently, eyes fixed only on your flame bunnies, deliberately avoiding looking at the shadowsinger.

"Ember. Sizzle. Come," you commanded, your voice neutral, as if speaking to empty air.

The flame bunnies looked up, their pink forms brightening at your approach, but neither moved to obey.

Sizzle even had the audacity to hop closer to Azriel's boot.

You continued as if speaking into a void, still not acknowledging the male's presence. "We're leaving now."

Azriel's shadows swirled around him in agitation, clearly sensing your deliberate dismissal. His head lifted, hazel eyes finding yours, but you looked right through him, focusing on a point beyond his shoulder.

"They see me," he said, his voice a broken whisper. "Why can't you? Or is it that you won't?"

You continued as if you hadn't heard him, as if the words had been merely the rustling of leaves. "Ember, Sizzle. Now."

The flame bunnies remained stubbornly in place. Ember even hopped onto Azriel's knee, pink flame brightening as he settled in like he belonged there.

Something inside you snapped.

A cold anger washed through you, and without thinking, you summoned the magic that tied these creatures to you. Fire blossomed in your palm not the gentle warmth you typically used with them, but a sharp, commanding heat.

"Come," you said one final time, infusing the word with power.

The flame bunnies froze, their pink forms flickering uncertainly. Then, as one, they vanished with twin pops of displaced air.

Azriel visibly flinched at the display of power, at the finality of it. His shadows recoiled around him as if struck.

"Please," he breathed, the word ragged with desperation. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know my words cut deeper than any blade. But this silence," his voice cracked, "is worse than any torture I've endured."

You turned without a word, without a glance, and began walking away.

"I dream of you," he called after you, voice raw with emotion. "Every night, I dream of a world where I didn't fail you."

You didn't slow, didn't turn.

"It doesn't change what happened," Azriel's voice followed you, breaking on each word. "But please... just look at me once. Just once. So I know there's still a path back to you, however long it might be."

You didn't slow, didn't turn, didn't acknowledge the words in any way.

But as you reached the edge of the garden, your peripheral vision caught his expression a flash of such raw pain that it momentarily stole your breath.

His face, usually so carefully controlled, had crumbled into naked hurt, shadows writhing around him like physical manifestations of his agony. A single tear escaped, sliding down his cheek, glinting silver in the eternal dawn light before dropping to the ground.

The shadowsinger of the Night Court feared, revered, impenetrable wept for what he had lost.

You kept walking, spine straight, eyes forward, pretending you hadn't seen. Pretending the image of his devastated face wouldn't haunt your dreams.

The walk back to your chambers felt endless. Each step required focus, determination not to falter, not to let your mask slip.

Your heartbeat thundered in your ears, nearly drowning out the persistent hum of the bond that seemed to vibrate with the shared pain between you.

When you finally reached your door, your hand trembled slightly as you pushed it open. The moment it closed behind you, your carefully constructed composure shattered.

You slid to the floor, back against the door, as the first sob tore from your throat. The tears you'd been holding back rushed forth in a torrent, hot and unstoppable. Your shoulders shook with the force of your grief, grief for what might have been, grief for his pain, grief for your own.

"Why did you have to look at me like that?" you gasped between sobs, your voice breaking on each word. "Why did you have to cry? You don't get to cry after what you did."

You pressed your palms against your eyes, trying to block out the image that refused to leave you.

Azriel's face, that single silver tear tracking down his cheek. The shadowsinger of the Night Court, powerful and feared across Prythian, brought to tears by your rejection.

"I hate you," you whispered, but the bond flared painfully in your chest, as if sensing the lie. "I hate that I can't hate you."

The bond pulsed in your chest, a golden thread connecting you to him even now, carrying echoes of his anguish alongside your own. You wanted to sever it, to cut it away, but the harder you tried to ignore it, the more insistently it tugged.

"It's not fair," your voice cracked, barely audible through your tears. "It's not fair that I can feel you breaking when all I want is to be free of you."

You curled into yourself, arms wrapped around your knees as if physically holding yourself together. The sobs that wracked your body felt endless, each one torn from somewhere deeper than the last.

"You don't get to haunt me," you choked out. "You don't get to make me care after you threw me away."

You didn't know how long you sat there, tears flowing freely as you mourned something you'd never actually had. Something you'd rejected before fully understanding what it meant. The bond had been a violation, an intrusion but the male himself...

"I could have loved you," you whispered, the confession torn from your very soul. "That's what hurts the most. I could have loved you so easily."

Eventually, the tears subsided, leaving you hollow and exhausted.

You dragged yourself to the washbasin, splashing cold water on your face. In the mirror, your reflection stared back eyes reddened, face blotchy. You barely recognized yourself.

"Get it together," you told your reflection. "Tears doesn't erase what he did."

But even as you spoke the words, you knew they were a lie.

Because the pain you'd glimpsed in Azriel wasn't manipulation or self-pity.

It was raw, genuine agony the pain of someone watching their last hope walk away.

Your fingers slipped into your pocket, touching the silver bracelet you'd taken from the drawer earlier that day. Its weight felt both lighter and heavier than you remembered.

The metal caught the eternal dawn light streaming through your windows, reflecting it in golden hues that matched the bond pulsing in your chest.

"It doesn't change anything," you whispered, echoing his words.

But as your fingers closed around the bracelet rather than putting it back in the drawer, you wondered if that was truly still the case.

Azriel carefully eased the small leather bound journal from his pocket, unable to suppress the hiss of pain as the movement pulled at the wound in his side.

Fresh blood seeped through the hasty bandage he'd applied before leaving the battlefield at the Autumn Court border, the metallic scent mingling with the perpetual dawn sweetness of Thesan's realm.

Three more of Beron's assassins would never report back to their master.

Three more threats to you eliminated.

He'd have done it a thousand times over. Would bleed out a thousand times if it meant keeping you safe.

The journal's pages were worn from constant handling, the first half already filled with his neat, precise handwriting. This small book had become his most treasured possession over the weeks in Dawn Court an archive of you.

Or rather, the strange, fascinating things you said that no one in Prythian seemed to understand.

Today's entry made him smile despite the fire burning through his veins.

"That's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine." [Sketch of what appears to be a metal tube with a door made of crossed lines] Note: What is a submarine? Some kind of underwater house? Why would anyone put a door with holes in it underwater? Filed under: Makes no sense but I understand completely.

He'd overheard you muttering it to yourself when a haughty Dawn Court healer suggested an ineffective treatment for one of your patients.

The sunlight had caught in your hair as you'd said it, turning the strands to living flame. Even in your irritation, you'd been beautiful.

Azriel had no idea what a "submarine" was, but the imagery was somehow perfectly clear something meant to keep water out being rendered useless.

The phrase was so distinctly you.

The journal contained dozens of these oddities.

"Well that escalated quickly." Note: Usually said when Thesan's fussy assistant starts crying after simple criticism. "Not my circus, not my monkeys." [Small sketch of what might be monkeys with question marks] Note: No actual circus observed in Dawn Court. Does she have a secret circus? Must investigate. "Plot twist!" Note: Shouted when discovering her patient had been faking symptoms to stay longer. "Houston, we have a problem." [Sketch of a star with a question mark] Note: Who is Houston? Some kind of authority on problems? Have checked all records of Prythian nobility. No Houston found. "This is giving me major déjà vu." Note: Correct pronunciation: day zhah voo. Sounds Continent based but she has no accent. Used when entering Dawn Court's west wing. Why? What happened there? "Sweet baby Jesus, that hurts!" Note: Unfamiliar deity? No known religion in Prythian worships infant gods. "That's what she said." Note: Said after completely innocent comment about "it's too big to fit." Makes everyone uncomfortable for reasons unclear. "I'm going to need coffee for this." [Sketch of a steaming cup] Note: Unknown beverage. When I asked kitchen staff, they were confused. Apparent withdrawal symptoms observed in mornings. Addictive substance?

Azriel traced a gloved finger over today's entry. Someday, perhaps, he would ask you about them.

Someday, when you finally acknowledged his existence again, he would show you this collection of linguistic curiosities and watch your face as you explained their origins.

If that day ever came.

The thought sent a fresh wave of anguish through him, sharper than the poisoned blade that had caught him in the skirmish hours earlier.

His shadows recoiled as if physically struck, curling protectively around him before lashing out at nothing, responding to his pain in ways his face never would.

He carefully returned the journal to his inner pocket, close to his heart, where it always remained.

Dawn was approaching as Azriel made his way to Lucien's quarters with his latest intel. Blood dripped steadily down his side, each step leaving faint scarlet drops on the polished marble, the trail quickly dissolving into shadow behind him.

What was physical pain compared to the hollow ache of being unseen by the one person whose gaze he craved?

"You look terrible," Lucien said by way of greeting, his metal eye whirring as it took in Azriel's pallor and the blood soaked leathers.

"Beron has deployed his elite guard," Azriel reported, ignoring the comment as he handed over maps marked with troop positions. His voice remained steady despite the room tilting sideways. "They're converging from three directions. The attack will come within two days, possibly when Thesan's power ebbs slightly."

"And his objective?"

"Extraction," Azriel said flatly. "He wants her alive."

Lucien studied the maps with a frown. "How reliable is this intel?"

"I extracted it personally." The words were emotionless, but the shadows around Azriel churned with remembered violence, briefly taking the shapes of the assassins he'd interrogated before ending their lives.

Lucien's gaze flickered to the steadily spreading bloodstain on Azriel's side. "You need a healer."

"It's nothing."

"It's poisoned," Lucien countered. "I can smell it from here."

Azriel's expression remained impassive. "I'll handle it."

"She's on duty in the east wing healing chambers," Lucien said carefully. "The best healer we have for poison."

The shadows around Azriel contracted violently, betraying the control he maintained over his face. One shadow tendril reached briefly toward the east wing before he brutally reined it back. "She doesn't see me, remember?"

"Perhaps if-"

"No." The word was final, though it cost him dearly to say it. "I'm not asking for her help when she's made her position clear."

Lucien sighed, running a hand through his russet hair. "Your pride will kill you."

"It's not pride," Azriel said quietly, shadows writhing. "It's respect for her choice."

He left the maps with Lucien and retreated to his small quarters at the edge of the Dawn Court grounds.

Today's gift for you was already prepared a small vial of rare Night Court starlight distilled into liquid form. When applied to wounds, it accelerated healing without scarring. Rhys had sent it at Azriel's request, no questions asked, though his High Lord surely wondered at the urgency.

Azriel wrapped the vial in midnight blue silk and penned a simple note.

For the burn patient in the east wing. Three drops in her evening tea will ease her pain. -A

He would leave it where Alis would find it. The head healer had become his unwitting accomplice in these deliveries, recognizing the value of his gifts even if she didn't understand their source.

Before that, though, he needed to tend to his wound.

The small chamber he'd been assigned was spartan, but he'd added one indulgence. A carved wooden stand beside the bed, displaying each of the gifts you had returned.

The silver flame bracelet. The healing salve. The rare book of ancient techniques. The carved flame bunnies.

Each one delivered back to his doorstep, sometimes within hours of your receiving them.

Each rejection a fresh wound, deeper than any blade could reach.

Yet still he created new gifts, still he left them where you would find them.

What was insanity, after all, but doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results?

Azriel removed his armor with careful movements, a strangled sound escaping him as dried blood made the leather stick to his wound. The gash along his ribs was ugly, the edges tinged with a greenish black that spoke of powerful toxins.

The vile magic of Autumn Court assassins designed to kill slowly, painfully. He cleaned it as best he could, applied what healing salves he had, and wrapped it in fresh bandages.

It would have to do.

His shadows whispered of your movements through the palace a benefit of the bond that remained even when you refused to acknowledge it.

You were finishing your shift in the healing chambers, tired after treating a particularly difficult case. Even exhausted, you moved with a grace that mesmerized him. The way your hands worked, sure and steady. The slight furrow between your brows when you concentrated. The scent of you healing herbs, dawn light and something uniquely, perfectly you.

Foolishly, pathetically, he wondered if you ever asked about the source of the mysterious gifts that continued to appear.

If you ever suspected they came from the same male who hunted in the night to keep Beron's assassins from your door. If you ever felt the bond tugging you toward him, as it constantly pulled him toward you.

The mating bond pulsed in his chest, a golden thread that stretched across the palace to where you worked. Once, he had feared it. He had rejected it with cruel words that he would spend eternity regretting.

Now, it was his only comfort, his only connection to you, even as it tore him apart from within.

When darkness fell, Azriel slipped through the palace to leave the vial where Alis would find it. His wound protested every movement, sending waves of agony through him with each heartbeat.

The shadows helped hold him upright when his own strength began to fail, weaving a cocoon of darkness around him that hid the worst of his deterioration.

The healing chambers were quiet this late, only a skeletal staff remaining for emergencies. Azriel's shadows guided him through blind spots in the guards' rotations, past dozing attendants, to the small office where Alis kept her records and supplies. The familiar scent of healing herbs surrounded him, but underneath was a trace of you you had been here recently.

He was placing the silk wrapped vial on her desk when a voice behind him froze him in place.

"Still leaving your little presents?" The words were sharp as winter frost.

Your voice.

For a moment, Azriel couldn't breathe, couldn't move. His shadows contracted around him in shock, then flared outward in response to the sudden hammering of his heart. Several tendrils reached instinctively toward you before he yanked them back.

Slowly, he turned.

You stood in the doorway, arms crossed over your chest like a shield. Your face was carefully blank, but your scent betrayed you. A volatile mix of anger, sorrow, and something sweeter, something that matched the golden bond still pulsing between you.

Even now, even refusing to look directly at him, you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. The way the eternal dawn light caught in your hair. The stubborn set of your jaw. The slight tremor in your hands that you tried to hide by gripping your own arms tighter.

"I told Thesan to send you away," you said, your tone clipped and final. "Yet you linger like a ghost."

Azriel remained perfectly still, afraid any movement might shatter this moment the first time you'd spoken directly to him since that night in the garden.

"I know they're from you," you continued, your voice flat and empty of emotion. "All of them."

His shadows curled inward, as if trying to shield him from the blow. "They help your patients," he said, his voice rougher than he intended.

"I don't need your charity." You picked up the vial from the desk and tossed it back at him. He caught it instinctively, though the movement sent a fresh wave of agony through his side. "I don't need anything from you."

"Beron has dispatched his elite guard," Azriel said, unable to keep the urgency from his voice. "Three strike teams converging on Dawn Court."

For a moment, something flickered in your expression annoyance, perhaps even contempt.

But your scent shifted, betraying a flash of genuine fear quickly suppressed. "I don't need your protection either."

"I already informed Lucien," he added quietly, even as the room began to tilt alarmingly. His shadows condensed around him, helping him remain upright.

"Then your usefulness has ended." You stepped aside, a clear dismissal. "You should go. Permanently."

Azriel didn't move. His side throbbed viciously, the poison working deeper with every heartbeat.

"Why do you say things no one understands?" The question escaped before he could stop it.

Your eyes narrowed, briefly flicking to his face before returning to the wall.

In that split second of eye contact, the bond flared painfully between you, and Azriel couldn't quite suppress his slight intake of breath.

"I don't owe you explanations."

"Screen doors on submarines," he said quietly. "Not your circus, not your monkeys. Houston having problems."

Your jaw tightened, a muscle jumping beneath your skin. Your scent changed again surprise mingled with something almost like embarrassment. "You've been spying on me."

"Protecting you," he corrected.

A shadow tendril escaped his control, reaching toward you before he could stop it. It brushed against your ankle for the briefest moment before he yanked it back, a silent apology in his eyes.

You tensed at the contact, the first crack appearing in your mask a flash of something that might have been recognition, might have been longing. It disappeared so quickly he thought he might have imagined it.

"I never asked for that." Your voice was ice, but your scent had warmed slightly. "I never asked for any of this."

Your gaze dropped momentarily to his side, where blood was now seeping through his leathers despite the fresh bandage. Something that might have been concern flashed across your face, quickly replaced by calculated indifference. But your fingers twitched slightly at your sides, a healer's instinct to help warring with your determination to remain distant.

"You're bleeding on Thesan's floor," you observed.

"It's nothing." The room spun again, and Azriel leaned imperceptibly against the desk.

"It's poisoned," you said flatly. "The servants will have to clean up after you. Again."

Those words cut deeper than the physical wound.

Azriel's face remained impassive, centuries of discipline keeping his pain from showing.

But his shadows betrayed him, contracting violently before lashing out at nothing, leaving frost patterns on the nearby window. "I apologize for the inconvenience."

"Don't apologize. Just leave." Your voice was final, brooking no argument. But your eyes darted again to his wound, lingering longer this time.

Azriel inclined his head slightly, accepting the dismissal.

He moved to leave, his shadows wrapped tightly around him like a shield. As he passed you in the doorway, careful not to let even his shadows brush against you again, a wave of dizziness struck. The poison reached his heart in that moment, sending a surge of burning agony through his entire body. He stumbled, one hand bracing against the wall.

For a heartbeat, your hand lifted slightly, an aborted gesture to help him. But you caught yourself, forcing your arm back to your side. Your scent shifted again concern fighting with resolve.

"The book of healing techniques," he said quietly, fighting to remain upright. "The section on poison extraction. Page ninety four."

"I don't need your advice on how to do my job," you replied coolly. But beneath the ice, there was a note of something else a question unasked.

Then he was gone, slipping into the darkness of the corridor, his shadows barely concealing his increasingly unsteady gait. As he rounded the corner, a small leather object dropped, landing silently on the floor. His journal, dislodged when he stumbled.

You watched him go, your expression never changing, your posture rigid and unyielding. Only when he had disappeared completely did you let your shoulders slump slightly, one hand rising to press against your chest where the mating bond pulsed. Only then did your mask slip, pain and conflict washing across your features.

You moved to follow the trail of his blood, something in you unable to let him die, no matter what he'd done. But as you stepped into the hallway, your foot caught on something. Looking down, you saw the small leather bound journal.

You picked it up, intending to leave it on the desk for him to find later.

But it fell open in your hands, revealing page after page of your strange sayings, carefully documented in his precise handwriting. Not just the words themselves, but observations the way your eyes lit up when you said certain phrases, the musical quality of your laugh, the exact pattern of your movements.

It wasn't the journal of a spy. It was the journal of someone who saw you really saw you in a way no one ever had before.

You slipped it into your pocket, your face returning to its mask of indifference as you made a choice. Not forgiveness not yet. But something close to understanding.

Back in his quarters, Azriel collapsed onto his bed, the toll of the night's injuries finally claiming their due. The missing journal was a distant concern as darkness closed in.

His skin burned from within, the poison reaching every extremity now. His shadows swirled helplessly around him, unable to fight an enemy they couldn't touch.

He wondered, as consciousness slipped away, if you would ever look at him truly look at him again. If you would ever ask him about submarines and Houston and all the other mysteries he'd collected like precious gems. If there would be a next gift at all, given the poison now burning through his veins.

The door to his quarters opened, letting in a shaft of perpetual dawn light.

A figure stood silhouetted there, familiar and beloved.

"You're an idiot," came your voice, still cold but now threaded with something else. "And this doesn't mean I forgive you."

His shadows swirled toward you, reaching, yearning, before he could stop them.

"But I won't let you die," you continued, approaching the bed with your healer's kit. "Not like this. Not before you find out what a submarine actually is."

His shadows curled protectively around him as he surrendered to unconsciousness, carrying his final thought like a prayer.

The cruelest part of immortality, he breathed, is knowing I might spend eternity remembering the moment I lost her.

we’ve got trauma, blood, reluctant healing, repressed feelings, and one journal full of submarine-related confusion. no one is okay. especially not me.

Author’s Note:

hi besties! :) welcome back to the emotional battlefield 💕 in this chapter: azriel cries (again), your flame bunnies commit light treason, and the bond is out here acting like a clingy ex with GPS.

please hydrate. scream into a pillow. tell azriel to stop bleeding on things. and remember: just because he’s broody and poetic doesn’t mean you have to forgive him. yet.

do I regret writing this chapter?

yes.

will I do it again?

also yes.

see you next chapter for more romantic pain and possibly an accidental kiss or full emotional collapse. who’s to say. 🫶💀🖤

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#acotar #azriel #azriel x oc #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #lucien vanserra #eris vanserra #thesan acotar

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odileeclipse · 3 months ago

Text

In the Presence of Truth {"Sage of Truth" (SMC) x Reader} PT 23

<<<Previous Next>>>

Chai Latte Cookie, ever loyal despite your hubris, patted your back gently. “That’s what happens when you eat three bowls of ice cream before lunch.”

“Two and a half,” Hazelnut Biscotti muttered, still bitter about the theft. You lifted your head weakly and turned to Chai Latte with the desperate look of someone nearing the brink. “Is there magic for this?” She blinked. “Magic for what?”

“For this.” You gestured helplessly to your very existence. “An enchantment, a charm, I don’t know instantaneous relief from the consequences of my own poor decisions.”

Chai Latte bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “You want me to look up a spell for… pineapple overindulgence?”

“Yes,” you said with all the solemnity of a scholar pleading for divine intervention. “Please. I am perishing. If the Academy can’t help me now, what is it even for?”

“Wow,” Hazelnut said. “We’ve reached the dramatic arc of the tragedy.”

Earl Grey, as ever, lifted his teacup with impeccable timing. “We’re in the climax, I believe. The fall comes next.”

You reached for Chai’s sleeve and tugged at it like a child desperate for a potion. “You’re the most powerful Cookie I know. Please. Save me.”

Chai Latte Cookie looked over at Shadow Milk Cookie, who was still seated beside you, observing the chaos with that familiar, unreadable calm. “Should I try something?” she asked him with a grin, clearly enjoying herself. “I do have a restorative charm somewhere in my notes.”

Shadow Milk Cookie regarded you, his eyes gleaming just faintly with that quiet mirth he only ever revealed around you. “If they believe it will work,” he said softly, “then perhaps it will.”

You turned to Chai with renewed hope. “You heard him. That was approval from the Sage of Truth…er, Fount of Knowledge himself. Please. Cast the magic.”

Chai Latte Cookie giggled and placed both hands gently over your forehead like she was about to grant you a blessing. “By the powers of steamed milk and logic-defying loyalty,” she whispered dramatically, “I call upon the ancient art of Get-It-Together-Already.”

A light breeze brushed over you as she summoned a small charm from her bag just a little rune-carved stone that pulsed faintly with warmth. She pressed it to your temple for a beat, then let it go.

“…Do you feel better?” she asked.

You blinked. Sat up. Paused. “…Maybe,” you said. “Or maybe I just love you too much to admit it didn’t work.”

Shadow Milk Cookie leaned in just enough for only you to hear, his voice a low thread of amusement. “Placebo,” he murmured, “is still magic, if you believe in it.”

You looked at him, hand still lightly pressing your stomach, and gave a weak smile. “Then I’ll believe in it,” you whispered back. “Because right now, I need something.”

You stared at Chai Latte Cookie, deadpan. “That was it?” She tried really tried not to laugh. “Hey, you said you wanted magic. I gave you magic.”

“That was barely magic,” you groaned, dramatically slumping against the table again. “You waved a pebble at me and whispered some steamed-milk nonsense. I feel exactly the same.”

“It was rune-etched!” she protested, holding up the little charm.

“Yeah, well, the runes must’ve spelled out ‘suffer.’” Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie snorted into his tea.

Earl Grey Cookie didn’t even bother to hide his smile. “You should’ve expected this outcome.”

You turned slowly with purpose to Shadow Milk Cookie, who was seated beside you, quietly watching the entire display like a scholar observing the collapse of an experiment. “Please,” you said, lifting your head from your arms with the desperate gravity of a knight pleading for mercy. “You. You’re my last hope. Do you have real magic for this?”

His brows lifted, just slightly, as if amused by your escalation. “Real magic?”

“Yes,” you said, dramatically clutching your stomach. “You’ve seen me conquer theorems and diagram nightmares and live through Professor Almond Custard’s lectures without falling asleep. Don’t let this be what takes me down.”

He blinked slowly. “Pineapple ice cream?”

“Too much pineapple ice cream,” you corrected. “A tragic downfall. I flew too close to the sun, and the sun was delicious.”

Chai Latte Cookie covered her mouth, shoulders shaking. “This is so much better than I imagined.”

“Focus!” you waved your hand vaguely in the air. “Please. I know you’re the Fount of Knowledge or whatever now, but surely you have something. A spell, a charm, a profound truth that can reset my digestive equilibrium.”

He regarded you for a beat, expression unreadable… and then he moved, gently setting his teacup aside with all the elegance of someone far too calm in the face of your suffering. “I suppose,” he murmured, “there may be one method.”

Your eyes widened. “Yes. Yes, I’m listening.” He leaned in just slightly, so no one else at the table could hear and said with maddening serenity, “Drink water.”

You gawked. “That’s it?”

He gave you the softest smile, like the gentlest stab to your pride. “I find that it aids most ailments caused by overindulgence. Especially when one consumes three bowls of pineapple ice cream before lunch.”

“I earned those bowls,” you whispered, scandalized. “Clearly,” he said, tone dry as parchment.

“I can’t believe this,” you muttered, turning to Chai. “This is betrayal. I came to both of you for help and got tea leaf nonsense and hydration tips.”

Chai Latte Cookie reached over to pat your shoulder. “We love you. But we also love the comedy.”

“You’re all monsters,” you grumbled, grabbing your cup and downing your water like it was a potion of immortality.

Shadow Milk Cookie’s hand gently brushed yours as you set the cup down, his gaze softer now. “However,” he said quietly, “you keep coming back to us.”

You blinked. “…Yeah,” you murmured, lips tugging upward despite everything. “I really do.” You quickly got up and beelined for Earl Grey your final hope…you’d said that twice now.

Earl Grey Cookie had barely lifted his cup before you were on him not menacing, but certainly dramatic, arms sliding loosely around his shoulders from behind like a student collapsing into academic despair.

He stiffened ever so slightly, not from discomfort, but from surprise. “Earl,” you pleaded, forehead resting against his back. “You’re the smartest friend I have. You read things for fun. You cite philosophers in casual conversation. If there is anyone on this cursed campus who can undo a pineapple-related catastrophe it’s you.”

His teacup paused midair. “You’re being overly generous.”

“You know I’m not.” Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie snorted beside him. “You’re lucky Earl’s too classy to throw you off his back.” Chai Latte Cookie was full-on cackling now, hands over her mouth. “You’re going to suffocate him with flattery.”

“I need to suffocate him with flattery,” you wailed. “My stomach is a war zone. I need genius magic. Not hydration. Not milk-based rituals. I need Earl Grey brilliance.” Earl Grey, still impossibly composed beneath your desperate draping, finally set his cup down with a sigh regal, like a prince preparing to descend into the chaos of commonfolk.

He reached back, patting your hand once, lightly. “I am not a healer,” he said calmly. “I do not deal in spells or charms.”

You made a wounded sound. “But you deal in solutions.”

“Yes,” he said, “typically of the academic variety.”

You peeked over his shoulder, eyes wide. “This is academic. The body is a system. A flawed, pineapple-gluttonous system. I just need you to fix one input/output equation.”

“I will throw you,” he said, but the edges of his voice curled with amusement.

“You’d never,” you whispered sweetly. “You love me too much.”

“I like you just enough not to let you perish from hubris and sugar.”

You gasped. “That’s practically affection!”

Earl Grey Cookie turned just enough to glance at you sidelong. “If you want true affection, I suggest asking your mysterious scholar sitting just there.”

You blinked, glancing over. Shadow Milk Cookie had not moved, but the weight of his gaze was unmistakable. Calm. Neutral. And yet his eyes flicked toward where your arms were still loosely wrapped around Earl Grey’s shoulders.

You immediately let go, stepping back like you’d just remembered gravity existed. “Right. Well. That’s enough academic integrity for today.”

Chai Latte Cookie tried to stifle another laugh. “Ten out of ten. Beautiful spiral.”

“I don’t regret it,” you said, straightening dramatically. “And I’ll have you all know suffering builds character.”

Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie raised his cup. “To character.” And Earl Grey Cookie, without missing a beat, lifted his as well. “To pineapple-fueled desperation.”

Shadow Milk Cookie, at last, smiled faintly behind his own cup. You sulked back to your seat, groaning softly. “I’m going to haunt the kitchens. As a ghost. Who warns students never to follow their frozen desires.”

“Make sure they write that on your statue,” Chai Latte said, already nudging her dessert your way. “The martyr of indulgence.”

And you? You leaned back, stomach aching, heart full, pride thoroughly bruised and still, somehow, the happiest you’d been all day. Shadow Milk Cookie was being impossibly composed. Too composed. You narrowed your eyes at him across the table, ignoring the snickers from your friends, the lingering ache in your overstuffed stomach, and the very real danger of becoming a cautionary tale in the Academy's culinary archives.

“You’re awfully quiet,” you said, pointing your spoon at him like it were some divine instrument of justice. “That’s suspicious.”

“I find silence to be restorative,” he replied mildly, sipping from his tea. “Especially in the presence of melodrama.”

“Oh, so now I’m melodramatic?”

Chai Latte Cookie leaned in, stage-whispering, “He’s deflecting. That’s what this is.”

“I see that,” you said, twisting in your seat to face him more directly. “You’re trying to outlast me. But I’m nothing if not persistent.”

Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie murmured, “This is going to be good,” as he leaned back in his chair.

“I ate too much pineapple ice cream,” you declared, placing your hand dramatically over your heart. “And I may never recover. Surely, as the Fount of Knowledge, there’s a spell, a charm, a gesture, something you can do to relieve the immense tragedy occurring in my gut right now.”

Shadow Milk Cookie tilted his head. “You do realize I am not a healer.”

“You’re everything else,” you countered. “Are you telling me you can open portals to forgotten dimensions, solve logic puzzles that would make entire councils weep but you can’t help me digest ice cream?”

“I believe you’re capable of digesting your consequences,” he said, entirely too calm.

You blinked, then narrowed your eyes again, scooting just slightly closer. Earl Grey Cookie looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “I will not be deterred,” you told him. “I’ll list reasons. I’ll get scientific. I’ll plead poetically. I might faint for dramatic effect.”

“I do not think you have it in you to faint quietly,” he said, though the corner of his mouth twitched. A near-smile. Victory.

“I can be quiet,” you insisted. “In fact, I’ll prove it. If and only if you help me.” He considered you for a moment, eyes glimmering with restrained amusement. “Is this what your scholarly determination looks like when pointed inward?”

“Absolutely. This is me harnessing the full strength of my academic resolve.”

“On indigestion.”

“Deadly indigestion.”

A long pause passed between you. Then, with a soft exhale that almost sounded like defeat or amusement, or both? he set down his cup and extended one hand toward you, palm up. You stared at it. “…Is this the spell?”

“Would you like to find out?”

You hesitated for half a second, then placed your hand in his. It was warm. Steady. You felt the familiar tingle of magic thread lightly through your skin gentle, careful, like rain weaving through silk.

“There,” he said simply. “A subtle charm to ease your discomfort.” You blinked. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” The ache did feel like it had dulled. Maybe it was his magic. Maybe it was the placebo of affection. Maybe it was just the effect he had on you. “…I was going to keep going,” you muttered, looking down at your linked hands. “I had a whole speech prepared about the tragic fall of the pineapple princess.”

“I’m certain it was devastating.”

You sighed. “I wanted you to cave.”

“I did.”

“…Oh.” Your voice softened. The table had gone quiet. Your friends were watching you, amused, but they said nothing. Beneath the table, Shadow Milk’s fingers curled just slightly around yours. “Next time,” he murmured, “perhaps eat less pineapple.”

“Next time,” you whispered back, “just help me sooner.” He huffed, a quiet laugh barely audible over the clink of dessert spoons. Your fingers slowly slipped from Shadow Milk Cookie’s hand beneath the table, a reluctant parting, soft and unspoken.

You gave his hand one last gentle squeeze before releasing it, letting the connection drift like smoke. Your gaze wandered drawn not by romance this time, but by the absurd. There it was. Glorious. Beckoning.

The pineapple ice cream. Even under the magically stabilized chill of the dessert station, it glistened like a forbidden artifact, golden and triumphant. And though you were still recovering from the last time you’d piled too much into your bowl, your stomach stirred with the memory of its tangy sweetness, as if contemplating rebellion.

You squinted. “Hey…” Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie stopped mid-sip of his drink. “Oh no.”

“Do you think,” you continued slowly, as if testing the idea aloud would make it real, “it would be possible to craft a spell that lets you eat anything… like, literally anything… without ever feeling sick?”

Chai Latte Cookie blinked, then leaned forward, both elbows on the table. “You mean, like… magical digestion?” Earl Grey Cookie didn’t look up from his tea. “We are not enchanting your stomach lining.”

“But think about it!” you insisted, gesturing animatedly between them all. “Endless pineapple. No consequences. Just pure culinary bliss.”

“I think that’s called a curse waiting to happen,” Hazelnut muttered. “You’d eat your weight in sugar before you remembered you were mortal.”

“I am mortal,” you sighed dramatically, placing a hand over your chest. “And that mortality is what stands between me and my third bowl of ice cream.”

Chai snorted. “You don’t need magic, you need moderation.”

“That’s boring.”

“You say that like you didn’t almost collapse from dairy-induced regret twenty minutes ago,” Earl Grey said dryly.

You turned to Shadow Milk Cookie, gaze pleading. “You’re smart. Ancient. Wise. Couldn’t you make that kind of spell?”

He looked at you with something like bemusement. “I could,” he said, tone unreadable. “But I won’t.” Your mouth dropped open. “Why not?”

“Because I have read of civilizations fall to less hubris than what you are proposing.” You groaned and dropped your head onto the table with a dramatic thud. “One of you has to believe in me.”

Chai Latte Cookie reached over and gently patted your head like a tragic child in mourning. “We believe in you. Just not your stomach.” Laughter bubbled up around you again, light and easy, and though your hand no longer rested in Shadow Milk’s, his presence beside you still felt like a quiet tether. The ice cream could wait. But then your eyes landed on it again.

Golden. Glossy. Glorious.

The pineapple ice cream sat like a radiant crown jewel in the buffet lineup, lit by soft morning enchantments that made it gleam like the answer to every question you never asked. You inhaled, reverent.

“There it is.” Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie followed your gaze, already skeptical. “Oh no.”

Chai Latte Cookie leaned over, squinting. “You’re not seriously about to go down this road again.” You didn’t hear them. Not really. Your hand slowly raised, index finger pointing toward the dessert like you were about to deliver a prophecy.

“Listen,” you said, solemn. “If the universe offered me the stars, the moon, a thousand-year library pass, or one more bite of that pineapple ice cream while my stomach could still handle it…” You placed your palm flat over your heart. “…I would not hesitate.”

“Because that ice cream? That’s more than dairy. It’s divinity in frozen form. It’s sunshine you can eat.”

Chai smiled at you gently. “Are you composing poetry about it again?”

“You say poetry like it’s not deserved.” You straightened, voice rising with full dramatic flair. “It is tart! It is sweet! It is citrusy grace! It is a dessert that dares to love boldly!”

Earl Grey, without looking up from his teacup, said, “It’s literally just pineapple.”

You gasped. “You take that back.” Shadow Milk Cookie let out the quietest hum beside you, and you glanced at him. He hadn’t looked at the dessert not even once but his eyes flicked toward you now, and the faintest smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“So,” he said calmly, “nothing could top it?”

“Nothing,” you declared, pressing both palms to the table. “Not jewels. Not glory. Not the unraveling of ancient magical secrets.”

“And… not people?” he asked, so lightly it almost didn’t sound like a challenge.

You opened your mouth then paused. Your face slowly flushed. “Okay, maybe some people.”

Chai grinned like a cat. “Some?”

Hazelnut leaned in. “Some?”

Earl Grey didn’t even bother hiding his smirk now. “What an unfortunate omission.” You groaned, shoving your face into your hands. “I walked into that. I absolutely walked into that.” Chai was already laughing. “You sprinted, love.”

“But they were so passionate,” Hazelnut said between wheezes. “I think you scared the kitchen staff. You made it sound like a romance epic.”

“It is a romance epic,” you mumbled into your palms. “With consequences. And mild lactose intolerance.”

Shadow Milk Cookie leaned slightly toward you, voice low, just for you to hear. “Then I suppose I should feel honored to even come second.”

You peeked out between your fingers. “You didn’t take me seriously did you?”

“Of course,” he said smoothly, almost amused. “How could I not? You speak of pineapple as though it were the key to immortality.”

You sat up straighter, pointing your spoon at him. “Don’t tempt me. I will ask you to research that.” Laughter erupted again around the table, warm and bright. And even as you leaned back with a sigh and a smile, you cast one last longing glance toward the buffet. One day soon, when no one else was around, that ice cream would be yours again. And this time?

This time you’d savor every spoonful like it was love itself. Eventually, the teasing died down though not before Chai Latte Cookie promised to write a tragic ballad about you and the pineapple ice cream’s doomed love affair. Earl Grey and Hazelnut Biscotti were the first to stand, carrying off their trays with the kind of practiced elegance that only came after a semester of routine.

Chai lingered for a moment longer, giving you a subtle smile and a pointed look before she finally followed after them, muttering something about enchanted spoons and overdue readings. And just like that, it was quiet again.

Just the two of you. Shadow Milk Cookie hadn’t moved much, only turned his head slightly once the others were gone. He studied you for a long moment, expression calm too calm. Your eyes were already drifting toward the buffet station. More specifically, toward the golden glow of the pineapple ice cream under its frosted dome. He exhaled through his nose. “You’re thinking about doing it again.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” you replied, already scooting an inch closer to the edge of your seat.

His voice dropped into that low, patient cadence that meant trouble. “If you do what I think you’re about to do, I won’t help you a second time.” You blinked, affronted. “You wound me.”

“I mean it.” He folded his hands neatly on the table. “I’ll let you suffer.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Not even if I got on my knees and begged for mercy to be placed upon me once more?”

He tilted his head ever so slightly, golden gaze sharpening. “Not even if you composed a sonnet. In interpretive dance.” You gasped. “That’s cold, Shadow Milk. That’s cold.”

“It is justice,” he replied, too dignified for the gleam of amusement dancing in his eyes. You pressed a dramatic hand to your chest. “You’re really going to watch me walk into dairy-induced doom and do nothing?”

“I will document it,” he said, unbothered. “For academic purposes.”

“Monster.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

You stared at the buffet. The ice cream sparkled with all the magic of temptation and regret. You glanced at him. He arched a brow. Your legs bounced once under the table.

“…What if I only get, like, half a bowl?”

“I’ll consider that self-restraint.”

You grinned slowly. “So you are rooting for me.”

“I am observing you,” he said evenly. But when you stood, your tray in hand and heart full of ridiculous purpose, you could still feel his gaze on you quiet, watchful, and betraying the smallest curve of a smile. Not indulgent. Not approving. Just… fond. And, fine, maybe a little resigned.

You returned with your bowl a modest scoop this time, if only because Shadow Milk Cookie was still watching you like one observes an unwise experiment in progress. You sat down with ceremony, digging in with all the gravitas of a scholar about to unlock a forbidden text. He didn’t say a word. Just arched one finely shaped brow. You took a slow, exaggerated bite. Chewed with care.

Then let out the softest, most content sigh imaginable. Shadow Milk Cookie blinked. “Are you genuinely trying to convince me?”

You swallowed, pointing your spoon at him like a wand. “I am telling you no, testifying this is divine. Ambrosia. Art. History rewritten in frozen form.”

He looked vaguely unimpressed. “It is fruit and cream.”

“It is transcendence, Shadow Milk.”

He tilted his head, lips quirking. “You’re being dramatic.”

“And you’re being stubborn,” you shot back, jabbing your spoon at his side of the table. “You should try it.”

He regarded you as if you had asked him to renounce the stars. “I’ve survived this long without succumbing to dessert peer pressure.”

You leaned forward, eyes bright. “But have you lived?” That made him pause. Not because he was convinced. But because, for a second, you could see the thought flicker across his face some quiet calculation behind those golden eyes. And something else, too. Something softer. Fonder.

“…A single spoon,” he said at last, and your entire face lit up. Victory. Sweet, pineapple-infused victory.

You were already scooping a bite for him, offering it like a peace treaty forged in ice and sugar. He accepted it with a quiet sigh, the spoon lingering a breath too long before he took it from you.

He tasted it. And blinked. You watched him, anticipation on your face like sunlight. “…Well?” you prompted.

“…I suppose,” he said slowly, “there is… merit.” You gasped. “That’s practically a love letter!”

He rolled his eyes. “Do not get used to it.” You beamed, triumphant. “Too late.” And beside you, though he made no move to take another bite, Shadow Milk Cookie’s gaze lingered just a little longer on your bowl, and then on you like perhaps, he was starting to understand the magic in simple, mortal indulgences.

Even if he’d never admit it out loud. Shadow Milk Cookie dabbed the corners of his mouth with a linen napkin precise, composed, almost ceremonious and set it down as though that single act marked the official end of the meal.

You glanced up from your mostly-empty bowl of ice cream, your spoon still lazily swirling through what remained of your pineapple conquest. Something in his expression shifted lighter at the edges, but lined with that familiar gravity that usually accompanied announcements you didn’t like.

He turned slightly toward you. “Tutoring,” he said gently, “will be postponed today.”

Your spoon clattered softly against your bowl. “Postponed?” His head tilted, golden eyes watching your expression closely.

“There’s a meeting this afternoon. The council would like to review the speech I’ll be delivering for the end-of-semester ceremony.” You blinked, mildly stunned. “Like… in front of the entire Academy?”

He gave a slow, resigned nod. “Yes.” You stared. “You need to rehearse a speech? You could probably wing the entire thing, quote a few dream-scholars, stare at the stars once or twice and people would call it transcendent.”

A faint smirk tugged at his lips. “And yet, the council prefers the speech to be ‘accessible.’” You made a face. “You? Accessible? Blasphemous.”

“I said nothing about agreeing with them,” he said, tone perfectly deadpan. You slumped dramatically over your bowl. “So no session? Not even a short one? What if I promise to understand a concept on the first try?”

He arched a brow. “Do you intend to keep that promise?” You hesitated. “…Maybe?” Shadow Milk Cookie’s smile softened, just slightly. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. For now, I need to endure the endless revisions of others who fear I might use the phrase astral epistemology in a public address.”

You gasped. “Would you?”

“I was going to,” he muttered, under his breath. You couldn’t help but laugh, even as you leaned back in your chair. “Fine, go. Be grand and inspiring and all-knowing. I’ll stay behind and try not to conjure an ice-cream-related curse on myself.”

“You won’t succeed.”

“I never do.”

He stood, straightening the cuffs of his sleeves with elegant precision. “You could review your notes while I’m away.” You blinked up at him with mock betrayal. “That was so unromantic.”

“And yet, practical.” You reached for your spoon, sighing. “Alright, fine. Go be ceremonial.” He lingered for a moment longer, gaze soft, and said quietly, “Thank you for understanding.” You didn’t say anything, just smiled, watching him disappear into the light-dappled corridor, the weight of his new title chasing quietly at his heels. As the door to the dining hall swung closed behind him, you sighed, turning your attention back to your bowl.

“…I’m definitely going to enchant this.”

You were alone in the dining hall again, the clinking of silverware and conversation from earlier now just an echo in your memory. Morning classes had ended. Lunch hadn’t officially begun. And your friends had scattered like petals on the wind off to labs, meetings, and quiet study corners. Shadow Milk Cookie was in the Scholar’s Wing, reviewing his speech draft with the High Scholars. You’d offered to help…kind of, and he’d smiled that patient smile the one that meant this is something I must do alone, but I appreciate the offer. So here you were. Alone.

With pineapple ice cream. Again. The cursed jewel of the buffet table. It glistened like morning sun through a prism, golden and cold and full of promise. You sat down slowly, notebook in lap, spoon in hand. The spell circled in your mind, straight from your History of Food lecture: “An Analysis of Courtly Banquets and Magical Moderation.”

Professor Brambleberry, who you finally learned that was their name… had made a passing comment that royal chefs often used Appetitum Temperare a mild enchantment to allow nobles to taste exotic dishes without fear of indigestion. It had been used in feasts with sixteen courses.

You had one bowl of ice cream. This would work. You flipped open your notes, finger tracing the old script you’d scribbled during lecture next to a drawing of a pineapple wearing a crown. Very serious scholarship. You sat cross-legged, centered your breathing, and placed your hand lightly over your stomach. “Appetitum temperare… leniter descendat…”

You tapped your spoon once to your temple ritual focus, as the lecture described then dipped it into the bowl. The ice cream shimmered, just slightly.

You thought you imagined it, until a faint, citrus-scented breeze swirled past your face. A sign, surely. First bite: heaven. Crisp, cool, the perfect balance of tang and sweetness. Second bite: you smiled, triumphant. Third bite: you leaned back with all the pride of someone who had truly earned their dessert. You whispered under your breath, “I am a genius. An academic pioneer.”

And then the tingling began. It was subtle at first. A warmth in your stomach. Then a slight bubbling. Then a fizzing, not unlike the time you mixed three different potions together during lab and tried to convince Chai Latte Cookie it was an “elixir of insight.”

“...Oh,” you said. You glanced down at your stomach, as if you could reason with it. “We’ve done this before. We’ve learned. We’ve grown.”

Your stomach gurgled like an ancient crypt being disturbed. “Okay…okay, this is salvageable.” You closed your eyes. Willed the magic to settle. Maybe it just needed time. Maybe it was adjusting. Or maybe…Maybe the spell was meant for rich meats and sauces, as the lecture mentioned. Not cold desserts.

You grimaced. “I should’ve read the footnote.” Because there it was, scribbled in the margin: ‘Ineffective on chilled or dairy-based meals unless modified with a cooling rune.’ You knew that. You’d just… skimmed. You looked down at the spoon again, now mournfully dripping pineapple nectar back into the bowl.

“…Still worth it.” You lay your head on the table with a dramatic sigh, one hand clutching your notes as if they could save you now. “Shadow Milk is going to lecture me for days.” And yet… you still reached for one last bite.

Because if you were going to suffer, you might as well suffer sweetly. Your spoon hovered in midair, betrayal melting gently down its silver curve. Your stomach was beginning to gurgle again like it was warming up for a performance and, in a moment of belated responsibility, you cracked open your notebook. There, in the margins of your History of Food notes, beneath a page titled “Appetitum Temperare – Court Enchantments of the Second Era”, was a line you’d definitely skimmed. You narrowed your eyes.

Note: Not compatible with chilled or frozen foods. Spell may result in stomach heat surges, bloating, unpredictable magical feedback, or temporary hallucinations of dessert-themed familiars.

“…Excuse me?” you whispered, already clutching your stomach.

You flipped the page. There were more warnings.

Risk of temporary sugar-induced euphoria is high. Spontaneous dairy intolerance reported in 12% of trials. May cause fruit-based dreams for up to 36 hours. DO NOT COMBINE WITH ENCHANTED GELATO. Underlined three times.

You stared at the words, the faint shimmer of spell residue still tickling at your skin like citrus static. “Why is this more detailed than the textbook,” you muttered, flipping another page only to be greeted by your own doodle of a pineapple-headed sorcerer wielding a wand like an ice cream cone. You blinked. “I am not a serious scholar.” Your stomach made a whoomp sound that did not sound natural.

You sat straighter. “Okay. Okay. Breathe.” You set the spoon down with reverence, as if that small act would appease whatever ancient dairy god you had offended. Then you pointed to your notes dramatically.

“I get it. Lesson learned. No magic digestion spells on frozen desserts.” Another gurgle answered. “Never again,” you whispered, placing a hand over your heart. “Unless someone else tries it first and survives.”

You slumped forward, head hitting your notebook. Across the dining hall, a few early lunch-goers trickled in but none came close enough to witness your noble downfall. Thank the stars. Still, as you lay there, stomach in gentle revolt, your eyes drifted toward the untouched half of the pineapple ice cream…Maybe just one more bite?

No.

Yes?

…Maybe.

You sat in silence, shoulders hunched over your tray like a scholar guarding forbidden knowledge. The side effects had arrived not all at once, but in small, increasingly regrettable waves. Your stomach still swirled with enchanted heat, a low and persistent churn that made your breathing shallow and your posture suspiciously stiff. There was a faint tingling at your temples, and though you prayed it was your imagination you were pretty sure the shimmer around the pineapple ice cream had grown brighter.

You did not want anyone to know what you’d done. Not Shadow Milk Cookie, who would probably sigh and say “I warned you.”

Not Chai Latte Cookie, who would look heartbroken and say “After all that support?”

And definitely not Earl Grey Cookie, who would never, ever let you live it down. You could already hear the snarky commentary forming behind his perfectly composed facade. You sank lower in your seat, shielding your notes with your arms like they might absorb your shame. “I’m fine,” you muttered to no one, as if saying it aloud would make it true. The enchantment’s heat pulsed again, low and slow like a kettle just starting to boil. “I’m fine.” You forced your hands to stop trembling and carefully turned the page in your notes, pretending to study the diagrams of court banquets like you hadn’t just cast a semi-forbidden food spell on yourself in broad daylight.

“I’m so fine it’s suspicious,” you muttered, adjusting your posture to look more… academic. Normal. Innocent. You dared a glance around the dining hall. No one had noticed. Yet. No pineapple-headed hallucinations. No glowing aura. No magical indigestion-induced levitation. Not yet, anyway.

You exhaled, placing a hand carefully over your stomach like you were trying to pacify an ancient beast. “Just… go away. Quietly. Peacefully. Let this be a lesson only I have to learn.” The pineapple ice cream glistened beside you, cheerful and unrepentant.

You refused to look at it again. From now on, you decided, if any magic was going to happen in your digestive tract, it was going to be supervised by multiple professors and possibly signed off by Shadow Milk himself. You weren’t sure how long you sat like that, silently bargaining with your insides, but eventually the heat dulled to a simmer. And still just to be safe you whispered to yourself, “No one ever has to know.”

Then you closed your notebook, tucked it into your bag like it hadn’t betrayed you, and stood up with the gait of someone who had absolutely not just cursed their own stomach out of greed. You tried. You really, truly tried.

But no amount of steady breathing or internal pep talks could muffle the growing crescendo in your gut the telltale signs of a spell gone awry. Heat flared again beneath your ribs, and a strange tickling sensation began climbing your spine like a warning bell. This was beyond what a quiet prayer to moderation could fix.

So, with your pride officially defeated and your insides staging a full revolt, you packed up your things and bolted from the dining hall. The halls of the Academy blurred around you. The ornate sconces, the polished floors, the gentle hum of distant enchantments they were all background noise to your very real, very urgent situation.

Avoid Shadow Milk. That was the first rule of your new survival strategy. You admired him. You may or may not have kissed him behind a hedge recently.

But you were not letting him witness your self-inflicted magical food disaster. You’d rather be swallowed whole by the Great Library’s overdue fee ghost. You veered into the Scholar’s Wing like a rogue gust of wind, clutching your notebook to your chest as if the right page might still hold salvation.

Now came the hard part. Shadow Milk’s office was tucked deeper down the corridor, in a space reserved for the most revered minds of the Academy.

Which meant you were currently wandering the marble halls of the high scholars noble, elegant, terrifying Cookies who existed on levels of thought you barely understood on your best day. You never came here alone or at all just tutoring. But desperate times, and all that. Please don’t let him be in the hallway, you chanted inwardly, scanning each polished door and hoping to glimpse a familiar, non-Sage-of-Truth silhouette.

You turned a corner and nearly ran straight into a robed Cookie with a pile of books floating beside them. “Ah sorry!” you gasped, stepping back. The scholar or professor?...blinked at you. They looked vaguely familiar someone who’d guest-lectured for your Enchanted Systems class once.

Their robes were deep violet, embroidered with constellations, and their gaze was more curious than annoyed. How come their robes were different? “Can I help you?” they asked, voice calm. You swallowed. “Um. I…yes. Maybe. Do you, uh… know anything about ancient digestive enchantments…and pineapple ice cream…?”

A beat passed. Their brows lifted just slightly. “You cast a banquet-era spell, didn’t you?” You winced. “…Hypothetically?”

They sighed through their nose in a way that felt entirely too knowing. “Come on. Let’s get you off the main floor before someone important sees you glowing.”

“I’m glowing?!”

“Not literally,” they said. “Yet.” You whimpered softly and followed them without question. Shadow Milk would never hear about this. You refused to let him know. Unless, of course, it got worse. Which given your luck it probably would. The moment the door clicked shut behind you, the quiet of the study space seemed to press in like a soft blanket. Gentle magical lighting pooled across the stone floor, illuminating a desk stacked with annotated cookbooks and several enchanted kettles. The space felt lived-in but orderly, not intimidating like the main hall offices of the high scholars. You could breathe here. They gave you a long, assessing look, one brow raised, but not unkindly. “Alright,” they said, setting aside a cup of steeping tea. “You clearly did something.” You nodded, half-wincing. “I did something.” They gestured to the chair across from them. “Sit. Tell me everything. Preferably before the pineapple takes you out.”

You collapsed into the seat with a grateful sigh, clutching your notebook like a shield. “Okay. So. You know Professor Brambleberry’s History of Food Enchantments?” They hummed. “Infamous for their weekly pop quizzes and love of magically aged vinegar. Go on.”

“Well, we had this lecture a while ago about historical digestive spells used at royal feasts, and I remembered this one spell that helped nobles digest heavy meals during week-long banquets.” You flipped open your notes, pointing to a margin covered in half-baked sketches and enthusiastic, underlined phrases. “I thought…hey, what if I adapted it for pineapple ice cream?” They blinked. “...Pineapple ice cream?”

“It’s enchanted,” you said defensively. “Very enchanted. Possibly too enchanted. And I had too much of it earlier. Again. So I figured I’d try this.” You traced the spell’s incantation with your finger. “It didn’t seem complicated. I even remembered the gesture from the lecture! I thought I was being smart!”

“Until?”

You winced. “Until my stomach started… bubbling.” The professor leaned back in their chair with a sigh that was far too familiar. “Did you read the footnotes?”

“I skimmed them!”

“The ones that said it’s calibrated for hot foods only?”

“I saw the word broth! I thought that was optional context!”

They gave you a long look, then shook their head with a sigh that was more amused than annoyed. “You students and your shortcuts.” You flushed. “I just…Shadow Milk wasn’t around, and I didn’t want to get in trouble, and I really didn’t want to tell him what I did.” The mention of Shadow Milk made them freeze for a second but they didn’t say anything.

“Well, I’m not a high scholar, if that helps,” the professor said lightly, reaching for a small wooden box labeled Digestive Corrections For the Stubborn and Curious. “Just a humble lecturer in enchantment history and magical culinary studies. Professor Kettlebranch, by the way.” Your shoulders relaxed just slightly.

“That… does help, actually. Professor Kettlebranch. Thank you.” They handed you a softly glowing vial, the color of golden tea. “Sip slowly. This will neutralize most of the side effects. You might still feel a little warm. And next time?”

You nodded sheepishly. “No ice cream experimentation without supervision?” Kettlebranch smirked. “No enchantments without reading all the context. But yes also maybe wait until you’ve passed the class before recreating ancient food magic.” You laughed, just a little. “That’s fair.”

“Now go,” they said, already tidying their notes. “Drink water. Walk it off. And avoid dairy-based desserts for at least forty-eight hours.”

“Yes, Professor,” you said, gripping the vial like it might save your life. As you stepped out of the room sipping the potion, your stomach already felt a little less rebellious. You’d made a mistake, sure but at least you weren’t alone in fixing it. And maybe you’d wait a little before going back for more pineapple ice cream.

You jogged through the sun-drenched courtyards, potion still warm in your hand. Lunch hour had arrived without fanfare, and the usual hum of students filling the dining halls greeted you like an old song. Your stomach had settled barely. You felt mostly okay. Okay enough to sit, not eat. Okay enough to pretend none of this happened.

You slipped through the doors, scanning for the familiar. Sure enough, your friends were all seated at your usual table: Chai Latte Cookie sipping delicately from her cup, Earl Grey Cookie mid-annotation with a quill far too elegant for a lunch tray, and Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie balancing a roll on his nose while no one watched.

You slid into your usual seat at the dining table, setting down your tray which was empty save for a single cup of tea. With a sigh that could only be described as the sound of someone who had narrowly escaped death… by dessert. Chai Latte Cookie leaned forward immediately, eyes glinting. “Okay, spill.”

Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie raised a brow. “You look like someone who just crawled out of a cursed bakery.”

“I told you it was the ice cream,” Chai said, nudging your arm. “What did you do?”

You dropped your head into your hands. “Okay. Fine. I admit it. I cast a digestive spell on the pineapple ice cream.”

There was a beat of silence.

“…A spell?..,” Earl Grey Cookie repeated.

“Pineapple ice cream,” Chai echoed.

Hazelnut Biscotti stared at you. “Why?”

You lifted your head and gestured to them all like it was obvious. “Because I wanted more of it, okay? It was early, and the dining hall had already brought it out, and it was just sitting there in the buffet line like a gift from the stars. And I was still recovering from breakfast but I thought, you know, what if I made the ice cream not make me sick?”

“You cast a spell,” Earl Grey said slowly, “on your own digestive system.”

“It’s in my lecture notes!” you defended. “From Brambleberry’s class. Week four. Digestive enchantments used in royal banquets? I figured, hey, if it worked on dukes in golden feasting halls, surely it could handle a few scoops of pineapple ice cream.”

“And did it?” Chai asked, trying not to laugh.

“...No,” you muttered.

Hazelnut nearly fell out of his chair. “Oh what happened?”

You looked off dramatically into the distance, like a war survivor reliving their battle. “There was bubbling. Gurgling. I thought my intestines were being pulled into another plane. It was like my entire stomach launched a formal protest.”

Earl Grey raised a brow. “And this was ice cream?”

You nodded solemnly. “Completely mundane. No enchantments. Just dairy. Cold. Betrayal in a bowl.”

Chai clapped her hands over her mouth, snorting. “And let me guess… you didn’t read the footnotes.”

“I glanced at them!”

“You are so lucky Shadow Milk didn’t find out,” Hazelnut Biscotti said, still wheezing. “He would’ve given a speech so intense your stomach would’ve fixed itself out of shame.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” you said quickly. “I avoided him entirely. I found Professor Kettlebranch. They’re in enchantment history and food magic. I gave them the full tragic tale, and they gave me this.” You held up the now-empty vial from earlier. “Said it would neutralize the spell. Also told me not to eat anything for a few hours. And to not cast anything until I pass the class.”

Chai giggled, poking your arm. “So no more breakfast spellcasting for you.”

You slumped. “I learned my lesson. I just… I wanted a little extra pineapple joy, okay?” Earl Grey sipped his tea. “Well, in fairness, few mortals can resist the siren song of yellow fruit.”

“You’re mocking me.”

“I’m quoting you.”

Hazelnut grinned. “Well. At least you’re still alive.”

“Barely,” you muttered. Chai draped an arm over your shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll live. You just might never be allowed near the dessert counter unsupervised again.”

You groaned and laid your head on the table. “Please don’t tell Shadow Milk.”

“Tell him what?” Earl Grey said innocently. “That you tried to bypass your mortal limits for pineapple?”

“I will cry.”

Hazelnut snickered. “We won’t say anything. But you owe us.”

“For life,” Chai added sweetly. You sighed, defeated but grateful. “Fine. First round of dessert is on me next time.”

“Not ice cream, though,” Earl Grey said flatly.

You didn’t answer.You were already thinking about your next attempt. You leaned your chin on your hand, swirling your cup of tea idly as the teasing died down. Chai Latte Cookie had moved on to sketching dessert diagrams in her notebook for a spell she swore would revolutionize whipped cream texture, and Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie had gone strangely quiet likely trying to beat Earl Grey Cookie’s record time on a crossword in the campus paper. You cleared your throat lightly, the remnants of your pineapple-induced misadventure still tingling at the edge of your thoughts.

“So,” you said casually, nudging your empty tray further down the table, “tutoring got postponed today.” Chai glanced up, eyes immediately curious. “Really? Why?”

You raised your brows meaningfully. “Council meeting. They’re reviewing his end-of-semester speech.”

Earl Grey gave a slow nod. “Ah, yes. The ceremonial address. Important enough to cancel tutoring for.”

“I told him he could probably just quote some obscure dream-scholar, gaze dramatically at the stars, and everyone would call it transcendent.” Earl Grey sipped his tea, lips twitching. “Am I to assume he didn’t appreciate that suggestion?”

“He was insulted and amused,” you said, smiling. “Which, for him, is practically a love letter.” Chai tilted her head, doodling a tiny moon next to her whipped cream runes.

“So, no studying today? Not even a little?” You leaned back in your chair, groaning. “He told me to review my notes. Which, I suppose, was his version of saying ‘I care.’”

Earl Grey raised a brow. “And you immediately tried to enchant your insides for ice cream instead.” You buried your face in your hands. “I am the definition of a cautionary tale.” Hazelnut patted your shoulder. “At least you’re self-aware.” You peeked at him through your fingers. “Do not tell Shadow Milk.” Chai leaned closer. “He’d find out eventually.”

“I beg you.”

Earl Grey just smirked. “We’ll consider our silence… a gesture of friendship.”

You exhaled dramatically, staring toward the ceiling like it held mercy. “I’ve never been more afraid of academic love.” And for now, your friends let the subject fade letting you rest in the quiet chaos of your own making, wrapped in laughter, affection, and pineapple regret. You weren’t eating just sipping your tea slowly, content with its warmth and the way it settled gently in your stomach. After the morning you’d had, even the idea of food felt ambitious. But you weren’t upset. Just a little tired. Still, your friends noticed.

“Still avoiding food like it’s cursed?” Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie asked, grinning into his mug. You lifted a brow. “Technically, it was cursed. I cursed myself.”

Earl Grey Cookie hummed, swirling his tea. “You’re lucky you didn’t enchant the entire dessert table. We’d still be pulling students out of the infirmary.”

You smiled faintly, eyes crinkling. “Noted. No more rogue culinary experiments.” A soft clink of ceramic broke the lull, and Chai Latte Cookie, seated beside you, tilted her head as she rested her cheek against her palm. She watched you with the kind of fondness that made you feel immediately seen but not in a scrutinizing way. More like she was just… curious.

“So,” she said casually, brushing a finger along the edge of her saucer. “Are you ever going to tell the world?”

You blinked. “Tell the world what?” She gave you a look. “About you and our favorite philosopher-poet-star-walker.” You flushed just faintly not out of embarrassment, but the way one might when a secret was said aloud, and still, nothing bad happened.

“Oh,” you said. “That.” She smiled, soft and amused. “Mhm. That.”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, not tense, not cagey just honest. “I like it how it is right now.”

“No judgment,” she said, lifting her hands. “I’m just nosy.” You chuckled into your tea. Hazelnut Biscotti leaned over from across the table. “So it’s really happening? You and the Sage of ‘Nothing Escapes My Insight’ Truth?”

“I’m not answering that,” you said, hiding your smile behind your mug.

“You didn’t deny it,” Earl Grey observed smoothly. You rolled your eyes, setting your cup down. “You’re all impossible.”

Chai leaned closer, her voice quieter now. “I think it’s sweet, actually. You don’t seem like you’re hiding it out of fear. Just… choosing to keep it where it’s quiet.” You nodded, smiling at that. “Yeah. That’s exactly it. It’s nice, having something that’s just ours. Not for display. Not under scrutiny.”

Earl Grey nodded approvingly. “A private truth. Fitting.”

“Besides,” you added, stretching slightly, “I think the world would faint if they saw him laugh at one of my pineapple rants.”

Hazelnut sarcastically spoke. “I’d pay to see that.”

Chai gave your hand a quick squeeze. “Well, whenever you do want to tell the world, we’ll be right here cheering like fools.” You gave her a grin. “I’d expect nothing less.” And just like that, the topic faded into another round of tea, light chatter, and the steady, comforting rhythm of friendship. Nothing had changed.

Nothing needed to. For now, your secret stayed right where it belonged warm, tucked between the lines of shared glances and unspoken things. As the lunch crowd began to dwindle, trays clattered softly into return bins and laughter echoed through the arches of the dining hall.

With no tutoring today thanks to a certain council speech review you found yourself with an unfamiliar stretch of free time. And though the pineapple ice cream fiasco had left you wary of food and magic alike, the quiet companionship of your friends made the weight of the morning feel distant. You glanced over at them Hazelnut slouching comfortably, Earl Grey polishing off the last of his notes from lunch, Chai already halfway through planning your entire evening for you in her head and felt that familiar tug in your chest.

“…Hey,” you said, setting your teacup down, “since I don’t have tutoring this afternoon, mind if I tag along to your lectures?”

Chai’s eyes sparkled. “You? Voluntarily attending a class you’re not enrolled in?” Hazelnut Biscotti let out a low whistle. “Must be the pineapple. It’s rewired their brain.”

You rolled your eyes. “I just thought it might be nice. You know. To go with you. That way we can all head to dinner together after.” Earl Grey looked up from his planner, raising a single brow. “You’re inviting yourself to our schedule in the name of companionship?”

You gave him your most dramatic, innocent look. “It’s not a crime to want to walk with my friends, is it?”

Chai was already scooting over to make room. “Never. Come sit with me. I’ll even take notes for you.” You blinked. “I can take my own notes.”

“I know,” she said cheerfully, “but mine will be cuter.” Hazelnut stood with a stretch. “Let’s not forget my class is first. You’ll be stuck listening to me try not to snore during Tactical Applications.”

Earl Grey gave him a long-suffering look. “You’ll stay awake this time.”

“No promises.” You smiled softly, gathering your things. Maybe the afternoon wasn’t going to be so aimless after all. “No pineapple ice cream detours,”

Earl Grey added as you all began to make your way out of the hall. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” you lied. And just like that, the four of you melted back into the flow of students, shoulder to shoulder, step for step your afternoon stitched together with light conversation, shared glances, and the kind of easy presence that didn’t ask for anything but your company.

The afternoon slipped by in a haze of laughter and barely-contained chaos. You had almost gotten the group kicked out of lecture not because of anything malicious, of course, but because Chai had whispered something to you during a particularly dry part of the lesson and you couldn’t hold back your snort.

Hazelnut had definitely made it worse with his perfectly-timed follow-up joke, and Earl Grey had tried so hard to stay composed he ended up coughing into his sleeve for five full minutes. The professor gave your row many looks.

You all gave your most innocent stares in return. Dinner came and went in a similar blur, full of shared bites, mild bickering over the last roll, and an impassioned debate about whether or not the new enchanted citrus glaze was actually better than the classic moonberry reduction. It wasn’t. You were right. Everyone else was wrong.

And before you knew it, you were back in Chai Latte Cookie’s dorm, sleepover in full swing. Soft music hummed quietly from the enchanted music box on her windowsill, casting lazy constellations across the rose-hued ceiling. Sleeping bags were sprawled across the quilted rug Hazelnut’s looked like it had been through one too many camping trips, and Earl Grey’s was precisely folded before he even lay down. You, however, climbed right into Chai’s bed with absolutely no hesitation. Hazelnut raised an eyebrow. “You’re not even gonna pretend to be humble about that?”

You stretched luxuriously against her ridiculous collection of pillows, folding your arms behind your head. “It’s good for the brain. Something about sleep quality and, uh… bed softness.” Chai snorted as she pulled on a pair of starry slippers. “You’ve been using that excuse since first year.”

“And it’s still working.”

“Barely.”

Earl Grey glanced up from his journal. “One day we’ll actually get an explanation rooted in science.”

You grinned, nestling further into the blankets. “Today is not that day.” Chai just laughed, shaking her head fondly as she dimmed the lights with a flick of her wand. The strands of fairy lights blinked overhead, casting a cozy glow across the room.

You could hear Hazelnut already slipping into sleepy rambling, something about how he would definitely wake up early tomorrow, and Earl Grey muttering a polite “no, you won’t” in response.

And you, buried beneath Chai’s soft quilts with a pillow that smelled like rose milk and cardamom, let out a content sigh. Warm. Safe. Together. No pineapple incidents. No tutoring stress. Just you and your friends, drifting into night with nothing but laughter left to carry.

You didn’t remember falling asleep just the soft hum of Chai’s music box and the gentle rise and fall of her breathing beside you, the comfort of blankets too plush for a school dorm and the distant echo of someone snoring…Hazelnut Biscotti. Always Hazelnut. But suddenly, there was light creeping in through the gossamer curtains, painting soft gold across the ceiling, and-“Rise and shine,” Earl Grey Cookie said in a voice far too calm for this hour.

You groaned, burying your face deeper into the nearest pillow. “Absolutely not.” Chai Latte Cookie made a muffled noise from beside you, arm flopping over your back. “Is he serious…?”

Earl Grey, unbothered by your collective protests, moved about the room with graceful precision. He was already ready, bag tucked neatly beneath one arm. He stepped over Hazelnut’s mess of a sleeping bag with all the dignity of a professor dodging chaos. “We’ll be late for breakfast,” he said, smoothing his sleeves. “And late for breakfast means we’ll miss the fresh melon pastries. Again.”

That got Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie to sit up abruptly, hair a mess, blinking blearily. “Wait. Pastries?” Chai groaned louder, curling more tightly into the blankets. “You’re evil. You know that?”

“You’ll thank me when you’re properly caffeinated,” Earl Grey replied smoothly. You peeked out from beneath the covers, hair probably sticking up in five different directions. “You didn’t even sleep in. Did you just… sit there like a brooding tea ghost all night?”

Earl Grey didn’t dignify that with a response, simply adjusted his collar and held the door open like some gentleman from a storybook. “Five minutes.” Chai sat up with a dramatic sigh, rubbing her eyes. “Alright, alright. I’m coming. Let me brush my teeth and threaten Hazelnut first.”

Hazelnut, already halfway to pulling on his boots, yawned. “As long as there’s food, you can threaten me all you want.” You stretched, blinking toward the window. The light was still soft, just barely morning. You were tired, but not unhappy. The lingering warmth of the night still clung to your skin, made the grogginess feel worth it. And maybe you were looking forward to seeing who else might already be at breakfast. You swung your legs out of bed, still wrapped in Chai’s too-long cardigan she’d thrown over you sometime in the night.

“Alright, tea ghost,” you said, brushing past Earl Grey with a sleepy grin. “Lead the way.” He arched a brow. “That’s Sir Tea Ghost to you.”

And just like that, your morning began with yawns, banter, and the quiet comfort of your friends leading you into the day. The morning air was crisp, tinged with dew and sunlight that filtered lazily through the Academy’s ivy-draped windows.

You were still rubbing the sleep from your eyes as the group of you spilled out of Chai Latte Cookie’s dorm, bleary but unified in purpose. Earl Grey Cookie led the way, his uniform perfectly in place, not a single thing out of alignment. But then Hazelnut Biscotti Cookie said something about melons fresh from the celestial groves a blatant exaggeration and everything changed. “First one there gets the last flaky corner,” Chai declared suddenly with wild determination.

It was all the spark needed. Earl Grey didn’t say anything. He just broke into a run. “Hey!” you shouted, laughing as you darted after him. “I saw them first!” Hazelnut hollered, charging past with his robes practically flapping behind him. Chai let out a battle cry, sprinting ahead with a hand outstretched like she was diving for a relic of ancient power. “No mercy today!”

You laughed so hard you nearly tripped, racing to keep up, breath puffing white in the chilly morning as the four of you tore across campus like kids who hadn’t a single responsibility in the world.

For a brief, ridiculous moment, it felt like you were younger again before the weight of portfolios, tutoring, impossible lectures, and love you couldn’t quite name had sunk in. Just you and your best friends, running like misfits down the marble corridors in pursuit of pastries like it was the most important quest of your lives.

And maybe, in some small way, it was. By the time you reached the dining hall, breathless and grinning, your hair tousled and your limbs sore from laughter, the trays were still warm.

A fresh batch of melon pastries lay waiting beneath a light enchantment to keep them soft. Earl Grey didn’t even pretend to act composed. He snatched a pastry with a gleam in his eye, his smile reckless. “I’ll have you know, I abandoned every principle I live by for this.”

“You leapt over a first-year,” you wheezed. “I saw it.”

“I was efficient,” he said with a smirk. Hazelnut, already halfway through his pastry, gave you a crumb-covered thumbs-up. “Totally worth it.” Chai was still catching her breath as she handed you one of the warm pastries she’d claimed for you.

“We should be chaotic more often.” The moment you all sat at your usual table, everything settled. Like a spell had worn off. Earl Grey smoothes his robes down. Chai adjusted her hair. Hazelnut licked sugar off his thumb and leaned back in his chair. But the warmth lingered. Not just from the pastries. From that rare, untethered moment you’d all stolen together.

And for a little while longer, you just let yourselves eat and laugh and exist as if you weren’t all being pulled in different directions, as if everything could stay like this forever.

A/N Y'all I had the best nap ever. I dreamed I had a perfect life in a cottage with the love of my life on the mountainside of Montana overlooking the Lamar valley, amethyst mountain peeking over. Then I awoke knowing I need to get a 91/150 on my final...chat do we think we can get a 91?? LET ME GET A HELL YEAH!!!

Also I will be checking my inbox tomorrow did not get the time for it today unfortunately...and good news I recovered 2k words and only had to write 1k, I had the file open twice and one of them had some of the words I lost? I felt so lucky

anyways...

Remember to follow and reblog for more bangers 😎😎😎🔥🔥🔥🔥

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milkbobatyun · 6 months ago

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fireworks and red packets

pairing: jingyuan x reader

genre: fluff

summary: once again, it's yanqing's favourite time of the year and also his 'payday' — chinese new year

word count: 1.2k

a/n: happy lunar/chinese new year to those who celebrate !! hope you guys received lots of red packets ! to those who dont celebrate, hope you have a good day (>ᴗ•) !

living in a household with jingyuan’s little aide meant that life was never a bore, especially in the morning of the annual chinese new year.

once again, you have woken up before jingyuan, gently hugged like a teddy bear. the sunshine smiles warmly upon you from the sheer curtains as birds twitter cheerily outside your windows. however, the peace does not last long.

distantly, you hear the patter of running footsteps from down the hall, a clear sign of trouble brewing, so naturally, you pretend to sleep, awaiting with baited breath to see what would happen.

the door to your bedroom is thrown open and jingyuan’s soft snores are rudely interrupted by a heavy weight launching himself towards the bed.

“general, general!” yanqing calls out, joy and excitement evident in his voice, “wake up! it’s the new year! time to pay up!”

peeking open one eye, you can’t help but let out a quiet laugh when you see yanqing, seated atop the dozing general and shaking him vigorously. his poor victim is grumbling and sleepy, trying to push yanqing off in his sleep.

mimi gently pads in behind yanqing, making a beeline for your side of the bed. she places two large paws on the bed as she pleads for pets with her eyes, which you oblige. the last thing you want to happen is for the huge lion to climb into bed as well.

after much grumbling from jingyuan and yanqing’s nonstop insistence to “get out of bed, lazy head!”, the general slowly reaches towards his bedside table and opens his drawer, taking out a thick hóngbāo.

delight lights up yanqing’s face as he receives the money. mission complete. time for the next one.

you knew you couldn’t watch such amusing entertainment for free, and indeed yanqing wanted you to pay the full fare. the two of you locked eyes, but before he could say anything you had beat him to it.

“young man,” your voice was stern, one eyebrow raised, giving him that look. yanqing knew it was fruitless arguing with you right now, especially since you held possession of his precious money. “go and get ready for breakfast. after that, i’ll give you your hóngbāo.”

with an obedient nod, yanqing agreed.

after breakfast, yanqing received his thick wad of hóngbāo money, along with a custom new outfit you had designed and hand sewn for him. not wanting to be left out, mimi pawed and pawed at your garments, begging for a little something for herself.

not immune to the adorable boba eyes she gave you, you rummaged through the pile of papers and files overflowing from your desk and retrieved the collar you had made for her, bright, festive red silk, embroidered with golden thread. however, all your work went to waste when the stunning collar disappeared under a puff of silver-white fur.

as per tradition, the four of you set foot out of the house, into the chilly air of xianzhou, to mingle with its citizens and partake in the festivities.

naturally, yanqing had a penchant for expensive and rare swords, so he spent a tiny a lot more than what he brought in his wallet.

as parents of the year, you and jingyuan watched with ill-suppressed amusement as yanqing panicked, patting himself down and searching to and fro, up and down for where his money could’ve gone (spoiler: he spent it all)

yanqing was in a pinch, a terrible moment of his life, the worst moment, in fact. he had hit rock bottom. with pleading puppy dog eyes, yanqing turns to the most reliable two adults on the xianzhou—his lovely parents. however, jingyuan only regards him with teasing golden eyes, finding pleasure and great entertainment in his panic. fortunately for him, you came swooping to the rescue.

without hesitation, you drew out an all too familiar wallet and withdrew a hefty amount of credits from within. jingyuan’s amber eyes scrutinised your every movement like a hawk. it was rare that you would be so generous with yanqing’s spending, normally you would’ve been adamantly putting your foot down and telling him he had enough swords, unless…

peering closely at the wallet in your hand, it seemed similar to the wallet he owned. the same colour, the same model, hell, even the same scratches from when he left it on a table and mimi thought it was a new toy and began sharpening her claws…

to reassure himself, jingyuan patted the pocket where he stored his precious wallet, but when his hand made solid contact against his own thigh and not the bulge of the wallet, his heart dropped into his stomach. shoot. he’d lost his wallet.

when he sheepishly dragged his eyes to meet yours, his mind was racing with the millions of reasons he was going to give as to discreetly retrace your steps. however, upon glancing at your mischievous grin, jingyuan’s mind came to the only possible conclusion.

good lord. you sneaky little minx. at some point during your walk, youh ad slipped your hand into his pocket and palmed his wallet. no wonder you were so generous with your spending today.

as the night drew to a close and the fireworks faded into the starry sky, the festivities began dying down, with all the families and their sleepy children heading home.

your family was no different. despite his conviction and bold statements, yanqing's head was beginning to nod, eyes weighed down by sleep.

cheerily, you volunteered to carry him home. panic flitted across jingyuan's face before being replaced by his signature smirk.

“darling,” he purred, tone sugary sweet. “are you sure? yanqing is quite heavy now and home is a long distance away.”

you shook your head adamantly. you'd known jingyuan for too long to know if he was being genuine. plus, the general who is always pushing his work onto others, being generous? unheard of. add on the fact that the same thing happened every year, you were definitely NOT giving in.

sure enough, you had made the right judgement.

the locals struggled to hold back their laughter as they watch their dozing general and his family pass down the street. ahead, you carried a dozing yanqing in your arms, the sight enough to warm even the coldest of hearts. trailing a way behind you, was what appeared to be a cloud of levitating mimi with a pair of human legs.

contrary to popular belief, mimi was just a baby. she was tired from chasing behind yanqing and wanted to be carried. you were occupied, so the job naturally fell upon jingyuan.

thus, her ever loyal spare human was tasked with carrying her. kneeling in front of her, jingyuan spread his arms, bracing himself against her weight. his knees nearly buckled when mimi threw her heavy paws upon his shoulders. mentally encouraging himself, jingyuan stood up with shaky legs, trembling under the heavy lion. maybe he should lay off on the treats and give her a stricter diet.

when you turned to jingyuan, you came face to face with an innocent looking mimi, who blinked languidly at you in contentment while the spare human was currently being suffocated by her thick, silky fur. (though you doubt jingyuan was complaining, he always loved using her fur as a pillow)

life in the general's household was never a bore, especially when it came to the chinese new year.

footnotes:

1. the new clothing for yanqing—— in chinese tradition, parents usually give their children new clothes for the new year

2. how i imgained jingyuan would carry mimi, but on a MUCH larger scale ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ*)

3. hóngbāo（红包）—— more often known as red packets/red pockets and often given to children, the red colour of the envelope symbolises good fortune in chinese and other east asian countries. they also symbolise good luck and wishes for the year ahead

taglist (open): @leehanscorydora, @pastelmitzuki

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limayde · 2 years ago

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1. Regarding Saeki Sayaka (Volume 3)

While not nearly as nuanced as the main series of Bloom Into You, I feel like that fits Sayaka's character? She falls in love at the drop of a hat and someone like Haru, who speeds through life and acts on a whim compliments that aspect of her perfectly. There are some fun callbacks to the manga and even the earliest pages of the first novel too. However, I will say that it did feel like somewhat...rushed? Like even if we're comparing her relationship with Suzuki, which didn't even take up an entire novel's worth of content, that one still felt better paced. Her relationship with Haru was the sole focus of this volume and it felt like it went by lightning fast. I'm not saying every romance needs to be a slowburn, but maybe taking a step back and really getting into the nitty gritty of their relationship would've been nice? If I had been in charge of writing these novels I think I would've skipped the second one entirely and just made two volumes about Haru. That probably would've given them the time to fully flesh out the characters. Anyway, despite my complaints, I did think this novel was cute and I'm glad Sayaka got the happiness she deserved. Just don't go into these novels expecting the same level of nuanced storytelling that Bloom Into You did. Think of them more as a deep dive into Sayaka's psyche, you'll get a lot more out of series that way. Also skip the second volume. You've already read Bloom Into You, you don't need Sayaka to tell you what happened a second time.

#maydia thread #media thread 2024 #yuri #lesbian #wlw #light novel #bloom into you #regarding saeki sayaka #volume 3 #yuri ln

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aventurineswife · 7 months ago

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Could I request Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, Aventurine and Ratio with a very generous and doting partner who makes them an abundance of gifts?

New weapons, a couple plushies, and many more

Gifts of the Heart

Tags: Jing Yuan x Reader, Dan Heng x Reader, Aventurine x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Fluff, Gifts, Tender Moments, Soft Romance, Lighthearted, Emotional Vulnerability, Comfort, Slice of Life, Found Family.

A/N: why was I listening to cure while writing this? 💀

Jing Yuan's office was a sanctuary of calm amidst the chaos of the Xianzhou Luofu. However, today it was anything but calm. Piled high on his usually immaculate desk were an assortment of meticulously crafted gifts: a new weapon stand made of polished silver, embroidered cushions for his chair, and a plush lion that looked suspiciously like Mimi.

You walked in with another package, your cheeks flushed with effort and excitement. "I thought you might like these," you said, setting down the final bundle—a lightweight, beautifully designed cape lined with reinforced threads, perfect for both combat and ceremony.

Jing Yuan leaned back in his chair, his eyes glimmering with amusement. “Dozing General or not, I fear I might soon become the spoiled General if this continues.”

You smiled, brushing off his teasing. “It’s not spoiling if you deserve it.”

He reached for the plush lion and held it up, a rare chuckle escaping his lips. “Even Mimi has a twin now. Truly, you leave no detail overlooked.” His tone softened, and he leaned closer, his expression uncharacteristically tender. “You’ve made my world a much brighter place. Thank you, truly.”

Dan Heng was used to silence. It was his comfort zone, a shield against the chaos of the universe. But lately, the quiet in the archives had been punctuated by the rustling of gift-wrapped packages.

At first, he had been perplexed. Who needed a custom-crafted spear attachment inlaid with celestial patterns? Or a weighted blanket embroidered with stars and constellations that mirrored his room’s nightlight setting? And the plushies—one resembled Cloud-Piercer, another was an adorable caricature of his own stoic self.

You stood behind him, watching as he carefully examined a new spear stand. “Do you like it?” you asked hesitantly.

Dan Heng turned, his expression unreadable but his eyes softer than usual. “You don’t have to go to such lengths for me.”

“I want to,” you said simply. “You deserve to feel cared for.”

He hesitated, then reached for the plush Cloud-Piercer and placed it on his desk. “Thank you. I… appreciate everything.” His voice was quiet, but the sincerity in it spoke volumes. For the first time in a long while, Dan Heng felt that his solitude wasn’t a burden he had to bear alone.

Aventurine’s office was a chaotic display of opulence and extravagance, but now it had taken on a more personal touch. Golden dice-shaped ornaments dangled from the corners, a new set of playing cards lay on his desk, and a plush peacock sat proudly atop his chair.

“Another gift?” he asked, his signature smile playing on his lips as you entered with a set of intricately designed cufflinks shaped like roulette wheels.

“Only the best for you,” you replied, setting the box down. “I noticed your old ones were scratched.”

Aventurine picked up one of the cufflinks, holding it up to the light. “These are exquisite. You truly outdo yourself every time.”

You shrugged, grinning. “I just want to see you happy.”

His expression flickered, the mask slipping for a brief moment as he regarded you with something raw and unspoken. “You know, most people give me things expecting something in return. But you… you just give.”

“That’s because I care about you,” you said gently. “No strings attached.”

Aventurine chuckled, sliding the cufflinks into place. “You’re a dangerous one, you know that? Making me feel things I thought I’d buried long ago.”

Ratio’s lab was a temple of precision and order. Each piece of equipment had its place, every book meticulously cataloged. And yet, amidst the sterility of science, there was now a peculiar warmth: a plush owl perched on his desk, custom bookmarks tucked into his volumes, and a set of tools engraved with his initials.

“Another package?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as you entered with a sleek case.

You opened it to reveal a new set of instruments, polished to perfection and designed with ergonomic grips. “I thought these might help with your work.”

He inspected them with a critical eye, his expression unreadable. Finally, he set them down and turned to you. “You have an uncanny ability to surprise me.”

“I just want to make your life a little easier,” you said, smiling. “You work so hard; you deserve it.”

Ratio’s gaze softened, the sharp edges of his intellect giving way to something more human. “It’s rare for someone to see beyond the intellect and treat me as a person. You’ve done more than that—you’ve made me feel valued in ways I didn’t think possible.”

He reached for the plush owl, holding it up as a small smile tugged at his lips. “Even this has its charm. Thank you, truly.”

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luveline · 1 year ago

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bombshell finds tickets to a russian movie thing sitting in spencer’s desk at work and they’re about to like run out (?) so she presents them to spencer and asks him on a date and pretends that she didn’t just pull them out of spencers desk in that bombshell way

You’re looking for gum. If Spencer were at his desk, you’d politely beg for a stick and he’d give it to you, but he’s not here, so you must search.

You sit in his seat, slinking down as he does with poor posture, your kitten heels hitting the spine of a book kept under the desk. Your dress’ skirt rises up your thighs, the fabric at your neck pulls, but you have bigger problems. You’re feeling the weird franticness of unspent energy and only a stick of gum is gonna fix you.

He has a drawer full of things, neatness traded for space. Blue and pink paper clips in an arrowhead shaped box. Push pins of all colours, their box more ordinary. He has a travel book on indigenous North American birds with stamps held between the pages, a plastic bottle cap, train stubs from Quantico to the station outside of his apartment and a bottle of ibuprofen missing half of its contents.

Your fingers dig around for the familiar shape of a packet of gum, hesitating thoughtfully against the thread of a thicker cardstock.

You pull a cream envelope from the desk and, perhaps wrongfully, unveil the contents: two tickets to see any Russian flick at the foreign language theatre free of charge (if you buy a large drink). They expire tonight.

You press them to your chest and spin in Spencer’s chair without any regard for whoever might see you slouching. Across the office with his hair out of his face and a smile bordering lackadaisical stands your favourite. He even has a pencil in hand. He likes to underline things in the books he reads for your benefit. It’s the pencil that decides your next move.

You stand up, brushing down your nice dress that he seems to like, a black cotton with thin pinstripes settling nicely just above your knees. You check your lipstick in the black reflection of his sleeping monitor, buzzing.

He’s watching you when you turn back. You hide the tickets behind your hip and begin a light walk to his side, the chug of the printer a constant hum you can feel in your shoes.

“What’s up?” he asks.

You tilt your head toward your shoulder ever so slightly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He squints. “You’re acting strange.”

“Suspicious,” you correct.

“That, too.”

“How come you let me hold your hand?”

Spencer doesn’t hide his surprise at your question very well. His eyes turn deer in the headlights, then down to the printer. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“When we first met, you wouldn’t shake my hand. And that’s okay,” —your smile is loving in the hope that he finds your question as the curiosity it is and not an interrogation— “I’m just wondering what changed.”

“I was distracted.” He’s talking about the first time you took his hand, the two of you on the way to the office. “You stopped me from being late.”

“Right, but I should’ve asked and I didn’t. And now we hold hands all the time.” You take a half step back. “I’m not trying to embarrass you, I’m just wondering.”

“Nobody’s held my hand in a really long time. And you’re mostly clean.”

“Mostly!” you laugh, giving him a guilty smile. “I’m super clean, I just forget how gross door handles are sometimes.”

You have embarrassed him, in a way. It’s really not what you meant to do, not when you’re about to ask him on a date.

Ever since you started your official position at the BAU, you and Spencer have grown closer, but there’s a difference between flirting because he’s lovely and flirting because you want him to be your boyfriend. (Not that he knows what you want.) You shouldn’t have started with the hand holding thing.

“Spencer.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you go on a date with me?” You present him with the movie tickets. “Got these, they expire tonight…”

“Are those from my desk?” he asks, taking the tickets from you to look over closely.

“I’d love to go with you, unless you’re gonna take someone else, which is fine.” You embarrass yourself a little, even though you’re not, hoping it makes up for the hand-holding investigation. “Yeah, they’re from your desk. Sorry. I really wanted a stick of gum, my– my nervous energy is through the roof today.”

Spencer frowns at you again. “How come?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know. It just happens sometimes.”

And that’s nothing you’ve ever admitted to him. Your perfect mask is broken, and Spencer doesn’t look at you any differently. “Do you actually wanna go to the movies?” he asks.

“Only if I’m not stealing you away from somebody else.”

“There’s no one else.”

Spencer abruptly turns his attention to the printer, where he collects his copies and shuffles them into a straight, neat pile.

You recover quickly, though inside your heart is a stuttering mess. “I should hope not,” you say. “Okay. Awesome. I’ll bring hand sanitiser and you can hold my hand through the previews.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction

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crunchystarz · 7 months ago

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"Nightmare"

Leona Kingscholar x GN!Reader

Summary: In which Leona has a terrible nightmare regarding you but no worries you're there to comfort him

Cw- mentions of death in nightmare, angst, fluff, established relationship, One shot

Word count: 887

A.N: Wowza first non creepypasta work on this acc spare me (I'm still figuring this whole Tumblr thing out lol), also this is imported from my Google docs so the spacing might be a little weird

His heart pounded in his chest, like the crash of waves. The sound of blood rushing through his veins loud in his ears, drowning out all else. His body refused to move, as if something rooted him to the ground.

He stared at your lifeless body, his breath hitching in uneven gasps. Helplessness consumed him. He wanted to scream until he couldn't anymore , but the cry caught in his throat. He was frozen ,completely immobilized like a statue.

He had failed you. The thought tore through him sharp. Why hadn’t he been faster? Stronger? Smarter? His mind replayed every moment, every decision, desperately searching for the one that would have ended differently.

If only he’d been better, you’d still be here. You’d still be breathing, your chest rising and falling with life, those eyes he loved so dearly looking back at him.

His hands trembled as he reached for you, cradling your cold, unresponsive body. He hadn’t even realized he’d moved. Tears blurred his vision,throat tightened. It didn’t matter anymore not the pain in his knees, not the ache in his arms from holding you so tightly. Nothing mattered.

Why hadn’t it been him instead? He’d trade everything, it didn't matter what as long as he could hear your laugh one more time, to feel your warmth, to see you smile.

Leona jolted awake with a sharp gasp, his blankets tangled. Green eyes wide and darting around the room. His heart was racing. A hand dragged over his face, trying to ground himself as reality slowly bled back in.

It was a dream. Only a dream.

Just a dream Leona…

Yet the vividness of it lingered. He turned his gaze to the empty space beside him on the bed, and his breath hitched again.

“[Name]?” His voice, rough and strained, cracked as he called out. His ears twitched, and relief washed over him as he heard the soft sound of approaching footsteps.

Your footsteps

The door creaked open, and there you were, bathed in the faint morning light spilling through the window. "You're finally awake, morning sleepyhead," you said with a smile. Your voice was warm and laced with affection as you walked over to him.

Sevens did he love your voice.

Leona exhaled shakily, the weight on his chest easing slightly. But his body remained tense, his hands gripping the sheets.

You noticed how off he was immediately. “Leona?” Concern filled your voice as you sat down on the edge of the bed, your hands resting gently on his shoulders grounding him.

Before you could even say anything else, Leona moved. His arms shot out, wrapping around you and pulling you down onto the mattress with a forceful yet desperate urgency. You let out a yelp in surprise.

His grip was firm, almost crushing, as though he feared you’d disappear if he let go. You could feel the faint tremble in his frame, it made your heart ache.

“Leona?” you repeated softly, tilting your head to look at him. He didn’t answer, only burying his face in the crook of your neck. The steady rhythm of your heartbeat against his ear was the only thing he could focus on.

You were alive.

"What's going on?" you asked gently, your fingers threading through his hair and brushing behind his ears in a soothing gesture. "This isn't like you."

“Bad dream,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible. But the unease in his tone betrayed him. You frowned, concern deepening as you pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

"I'm here now," you whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

You lay back against the pillow, letting him cling to you. Slowly, you matched your breathing to his, your chest rising and falling in a rhythm until his ragged breaths began to even out. Your hand moved in slow, comforting strokes along his back, and eventually, he calmed

You felt a vibration against your chest, followed by a deep, purring. It brought a small smile to your face. "You know," you teased lightly, "purring like that? Not very nonchalant housewarden of you."

"Shuddup," he muttered, his voice muffled as he pressed himself closer to you. You giggled softly, the sound making his heart leap. This time, the pounding in his chest wasn’t fear, it was just love.

He nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of your neck, inhaling the comforting scent of you. The memory of the nightmare still lingered, but it was dulled now, by your presence. You were here, alive and breathing, and that was enough for him.

After a moment, he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you. His green eyes, usually half-lidded, were wide and searching, drinking in every detail of your face. He couldn't get enough.

Everything you. He loved each of your features,

everything. Because it was yours.

“I love you,” he said, the words escaping him before he could even registr what he was saying.

You smiled, the kind of smile that he'd do anything for just to see.

“I love you too.”

Leona pulled you closer, his arms tightening around you as his tail snaked in between your legs. For now, that was all he needed, just you, safe in his arms, your warmth calming him.

He was at peace. Calm and tangled in one another.

MASTERLIST

#crunchystarz #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst leona #reader is gender neutral #twisted wonderland #disney twst #i actually like this

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jarofstyles · 1 year ago

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Bad Idea, Right?

Obviously inspired by Miss Olivia Rodrigo’s song, here is a one shot I loved writing :) a bit of angst, a bit of a fluff, a lot of smut, a little bit of everything!

Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings!

WC- 6.2k

Warnings- toxic relationship, kinda asshole h, angst, crying, slight degradation, spitting, impact play (light), sex tape filming, daddy kink (light), use of Mama 🤭

—-

Y/N knew this was a very bad idea. She knew she was going to regret this in the morning, as she usually did when Harry texted her to show up somewhere, but here she was.

Her best black dress in the most soft fabric, the one he had complimented her on endlessly before peeling it off when they had still been together, was glued to her body, Hair curled and falling down her shoulders. If she was going to show up at a houseparty that her ex boyfriend was throwing, she may as well go all out and wear something that she knew he liked.

Internally, she tried to talk herself out of it as she approached the open door, ignoring the people making out on his lawn. The thump of the bass was audible outside, a deep sigh being let out as she tossed her phone in her clutch after texting him a simple ‘here.’ The shot she had taken before had done next to nothing to calm her nerves, her red lipstick meticulously touched up in the back of the uber as she squirmed in the seat surely getting fucked up as she bit down on her bottom lip, venturing into the home that used to be so familiar to her.

It had been 5 months since they’d broken up, but it had barely seemed like it. Harry had a way of getting into her head and driving her absolutely fucking mad. Their back and forth seemed neverending, their text threads updating every few days. A fight, a makeup, a request to see one another. As much as she wanted to claim it was all him, she knew she was equally as bad. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to find someone else- but no one else could get her off like him.

Harry knew her body better than anyone else, every curve and mark, where to touch and stroke. Where to stroke, where to lick, where to bite. He was an expert on how to get her off in just minutes, her cunt completely dedicated to him as much as she wished it wasn’t. Her brain and pussy had no communication in the information regarding the fact they were broken up, much to her dismay. The only thing saving her ego was that she knew that she had the same effect on Harry. There was no way she didn’t. Harry could very well fuck anyone he wanted to, more than capable to pull. Y/N had been overly jealous as a girlfriend and she knew that, but people were drawn to her boyfriend despite the fact it was well known he was taken. While he didn’t seem to take them up on it- he ate up the attention and preened over it, much to her irritation. It caused fights upon fights, her going out of her way to make him jealous- which worked. They both seemed to get off on pissing each other off.

Breaking up was supposed to stop the cycle, but it seemed to only string it out further.

There had been so many times she deleted his number but when he pulled up on her notifications again, she recognized the number and his attitude and couldn’t resist temptation. No one had ever made Y/N feel so many emotions in her life. Being around Harry was like a live wire, electric and hot, dangerous and potentially harmful, but the benefits sometimes outweighed the risks.

Her nose crinkled as she felt the floor stick under her shoe, knowing he would be pissed about that tomorrow. Whatever spiked punch was all over the floor and that would take some elbow grease to get out. Navigating through the entryway, she made her way into the living room. It was dark, flimsy lighting had been put up to make colorful strobes go around the room, the room far too filled for comfort. It was stupidly warm, regret crawling up her neck as she looked around to find anyone familiar.

“There she is!” The voice was unmistakable. Niall, arms tugging her in for a hug and pulling her into the kitchen where it was a bit quieter, the main group she was familiar with strung about along with a few strangers. “Harry’s girl is here, everyone! Y/N herself.” He chirped, making her give him a confused look until she followed his gaze to see Harry standing stiffly, a girl too close for comfort. Her eyes narrowed, taking in how the girl angled her body, hand resting on Harry’s arm, looking at her with a scowl.

It was an ugly feeling to see someone else around her man. Well- he wasn’t her man, but it was another miscommunication between her heart and brain. She hated seeing him around someone else, the mere idea of him being with someone that wasn’t her made her stomach turn. It wasn’t right. Yes, she knew it was a toxic cycle but it was one she didn’t know how to break. She knew this was bad, but she didn’t want anyone else having him the way she did.

The only saving grace was the fact that Harry looked uncomfortable, immediately peeling himself away from the other girl and coming straight over to Y/N.. Her face must have shown her irritation, mouth opening and arm resting on her hip as she went to give him a bit of hell but was cut off by his mouth.

And Y/N’s body, she was a fucking traitor. Feeling his arms wrap around her and push her against the counter, his tongue pressing into her mouth and tasting the cinnamon from the alcohol and sticky remnants of Coca Cola on his lips made her brain go numb. She always did love how strong he was, how safe she used to feel wrapped up in his arms. There were a few wolf whistles surrounding them, but Y/N had been taken aback from the heat of it so early on, hand slipping between her and the counter to grab at her ass. A surprised moan left her mouth before Niall let out a laugh.

“Alright, alright. Stop eating her, Harry.” Niall smacked his back, making Harry pull back with a hazy smirk. Almost dopy, making her blink up at him with her eyes narrowing again. His eyes were dark, lips wet now and that dark pink she liked so, so much. He hadn’t shaved today, leaving a bit of stubble around his face, a backwards hat combing his hair back to keep it out of his face. The nose piercing was swapped from a stud to a hoop, making her a bit surprised. Had he done that for her? He knew she liked it….

“You can take your hand off my ass now.” Her sassy tone didn’t match how her eyes looked, secretly loving that he had so publicly claimed her in front of a girl they both knew wanted him. It was a sick feeling, the victory even though she knew it was wrong to feel that way. It was a constant fight with herself. Knowing she should most definitely not be feeling so happy that her ex had just kissed her dumb in front of all his friends, but still liking that she had a claim on him.

“I could.” He retorted. “But it feels so nice in my palm, and we both know how much you like it.” A squeeze was given, Y/N scowling back up at him but not making any attempt to move. If she wanted to, he would get out of the way- but they both knew how this went. She pretended she didn’t liked his hands on her, he taunted her, they would glare and play fight before it got a little real, and they’d fuck. A circle they’d swung around plenty of times. His lips lowered to her ear, ignoring the chatter around them. “You’re wearing my dress, hm?”

“Yours? M’sorry, did you want to wear it?” She rose her eyebrow that she definitely hadn’t laid to perfection before she came here. “I forgot you even liked this one. It was the first thing I could reach in my closet.” Her nose was turned up, this time pushing past him to go over to the drinks. She looked down to see a cup with his name scribbled on it with a sharpie, lifting it up for confirmation before throwing it back.

Regretted immediately.

“Ugh- Harry, what the fuck?” She gagged, nose wrinkled as she opened his fridge to grab a bottle of water. “I forgot how disgusting your drinks are. God, how do you even have a stomach?” She gave him a horrified look, swishing the water in her mouth.’

“No one told you to fuckin’ take mine!” He grumbled, taking the cup to find it empty. “Fucks sake, Y/N. Taking my drink and then bitching about it. As usual.” He came up behind her to grab the bottle over the fridge, his ‘good stuff’ or whatever. It was already that time of night?

Where they started poking at each other to cause a fight. To have an excuse to wander off and to strip down to nothing.

“Excuse me?” Y/N grit her teeth, turning to look at him as he poured into his recently emptied cup. He was trying to get a rise out of her.

“You heard me, princess. Know those ears work, considering you’re an eavesdropper.”

Oh, he was going low. She crinkled the water bottle in her hands, shoulders tending as she exhaled sharply through her nose. “Well I wouldn’t have had to if you didn’t get so fucking weird with your phone. You were the one hiding a ‘project partner’ from me.” Her fingers did air quotes around that, showing that she didn’t believe his excuse.

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Harry hissed, his own jaw setting. “I told you that she was just a partner for my paper. I didn’t tell you at first because I know you’d overreact and go all insane on me for daring to interact with another woman.” He snarled back, knowing where to hit where it hurt.

“I wouldn’t have had to be paranoid if you’d respected me to stop flirting and entertaining girls who disrespected our relationship by hitting on you in front of me! You literally encouraged it!” She was trying to keep her voice down, but it was hard. This was an especially sore spot.

“So replying with a thank you is encouraging it? Sue me for liking that someone complimented me on something!” He raised an arm up, running fingers through his hair in frustration before he turned away to lean on the counter with his arms crossed, cup in hand. “God, you do this every fucking time. We aren’t fucking together anymore, that’s your fault. Why do you continue to harrass me about this? Even if I did encourage it, I never went for it did I?” A cruel smirk emerged. “Though I’m a free agent now, yeah? Could go take Josslyn or Heather up on their offers?

Harry knew he had taken it a bit too far when her breathing caught for real, watching as he froze and her bottom lip trembled. That wasn’t a part of their regular script to wind each other up before hot sex. It was a bit of the real hurt that has blossomed through, but he hadn’t meant to let it out. Her eyes turned glassy, her hand snatching his drink and throwing it at his shirt.

“Fuck you.”

Harry felt the cold liquid hit him, hissing as he stood in slight shock as he watched her turn to leave. He had really fucked up. His stomach dropped as he tried to gather his bearings, cursing under his breath before going after her.

“Y/N! Fuck, don’t go.” He yelled after her, making his way through the throngs of people in his living room, eyes watching her back go towards the door. While he had definitely said fucked up things before, this had been designed to hit where it really hurt.

Y/N stomped through the living room, ignoring his calls for her as she got closer to the door- closer to escape- when she was caught. Arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her into the bathroom next to the stairs and turning so he was against the door. Y/N kept her back towards him but yanked herself free from his grip, irritated that she was crying. That it still hurts. He knew it would and that’s partially what made it worse. He had been out to hurt her and she had known it was a bad idea to show up tonight but somewhere in her heart she had this tiny, tiny hidden hope that maybe tonight would be a night they could finally get over their differences. She missed him so much it ached if she allowed herself to feel it, but she had tried to refuse her feelings.

It had boiled over now, though.

Harry swallowed thickly as he heard the sniffle. Y/N wasn’t one to cry about a lot. She hadn’t shed a lot of tears in the time they’d been together, emotionally iron clad as it seemed. When she did? It was unnerving. Heartbreaking. It was one of his least favorite things ever, seeing her crumble. While he may have enjoyed getting her angry and irritated, maybe a little jealous, he never liked hurting her. He gained no pleasure from that.

“Baby…” He spoke softly, trying to turn her around, hands pulling at her shoulders. He was bigger than her and could definitely turn her around if he wanted to, but he wouldn’t ever touch her in a way she didn’t want.

“No. You can’t- you can’t call me that anymore. I am not your baby.” She hissed, keeping herself turned from him. Harry winced. She hadn’t said that before, not seriously, but the venom in her voice had shown how upset she was. It was laced with the hoarse blanket that coated her voice when she cried, making it even worse. “You can go call Josslyn or Heather. I’m sure they’d love to be your b-baby.” The end of the sentence was joined with a little sob, effectively breaking his heart further.

“No. No, I’m not… I didn’t mean it, Y/N. I promise. I was just upset and I didn’t mean for it to come out, I just wanted you to feel-”

“What?” Whipping around, Y/N’s mascara streaked cheeks were a blow to the chest. Her vulnerability was something he used to crave, to be the one she confided in or let herself break with. He wanted to be there for her. Not be the cause of her tears. “You wanted me to feel hurt, like you did? Do you not think I don’t hurt every fucking day?”

“You broke up with me!” Harry tried, her glare making him stop talking quickly after.

“I broke up with you because you didn’t take me seriously. How could you go from telling me you can’t wait to put a ring on my finger, can’t wait to have a family with me, to flirting with girls the same night? Do you know how humiliating it is to have your friends tell you that they heard so and so say they were going to try something because it ‘obviously isn’t serious with Y/N?” The incredulous look on her face made him shrink back a bit.

“I didn’t know that! It was never real flirting, Y/N. I liked to get my ego stroked, the attention felt nice, but I would never, ever step out on you. I love you, for fucks sake!” He went to reach for her but she backed up, flinching slightly. Another dagger to the chest. He had really, really fucked up. She never denied his touch.

“You love me?” A humorless laugh escaped her swollen lips. “Is that how you love people, Harry? Make them feel disposable and humiliated because you can’t be happy with one girl telling you that she loves you back? My compliments weren’t enough?” Arms crossed defensively over her chest. “Give me a fucking break. Telling me that as if you didn’t just say moments ago that you should take up girls who actively disrespected our relationship on their offers to fuck you while you were dating me? Yeah, that’s definitely something someone who loved me would do.” She wanted to stay angry but she was hurt. Hurt so bad, the full weight of their breakup actually hitting her as she felt the sob crawl up her throat and hurried to cover her eyes as she began to cry. It couldn’t be held back. She was at her breaking point.

Harry wanted to throw up. He hadn’t thought of it that way, and honestly? He had never expected this. Sometimes Y/N had acted as if she didn’t have a lot of emotion, reserved and a bit quiet when she expressed herself. The one time he had gotten her to let go was during sex, where he truly felt her desire. That was maybe why he liked the attention from other people. She wasn’t very forthcoming with praise or overly lovey with him, and it had hurt a little. But he could deal with that later, because his poor fucking girl was sobbing in front of him.

“No, no… sweet girl. Please.” He watched as she dropped down to sit on the floor, gathering her knees to her chest as he followed after her. “Hey- M’so sorry. I didn’t think about it like that. I really didn’t. I was just talking out of my ass because I was hurt we’re still broken up a-and I shouldn’t have said anything but….” He sat down fully next to her, pulling her body on to his lap. She tried to squirm at first but he could tell it was half hearted as she settled down a moment later, the sobs wracking her body as his arms wrapped around her and his lips went to her ear.

“M’so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t ever want to make you feel that way. You’ve always been so important to me and this is breaking my heart.” He whispered. “Hate that you’re crying because of me. I hate that I ever made you doubt that you were important to me, or that I respect you. I do. I promise you, I do.” He whimpered slightly, desperate to get her to believe him. “I’m an ass, I know. But you have to know I do, I love you so much. I’m so fucking sorry for throwing that in your face.”

In the grand scheme of things, he knew that some people would think she was overreacting- but he understood now. He hadn’t truly meant to take it that far, hadn’t even stopped to think that those exact women had been sources of insecurity. They were the first to pop into his head because he had rejected them again tonight, waiting for Y/N to arrive.

He never wanted to be broken up with. He had planned on being with her forever, and he had fucked it up.

Her cries started to fade, sniffles taking the place of sobs as he whispered soft words, consoling her. He knew he’d fucked up tonight, in their relationship. He hadn’t communicated the way he needed to and he played games, but he thought that it would get a different reaction. His intentions weren’t to hurt her. Selfishly, stupidly, he assumed it hadn’t phased her. That she was just angry and not upset.

If she’d give him another chance he’d fix it. He’d make sure to open her up a little more, make her feel more safe. Reign in his flirting, make sure he was just polite instead. He’d never put their relationship in jeopardy again. “C’mon. Come with me, to my room.” Standing up, he pulled her along with her. It said a lot about her right now that she wasn’t fighting, letting him lead her to his room with her hand tucked in his own. Her face was downcast, making sure no one could see that she’d cried as Harry took the key from his pocket and undid the lock. He really didn’t want strangers in his room.

It was still the same. His navy bedspread and Nirvana posters on the side of his wall, his desk slightly messy with a leftover fast food cup sitting next to his water bottle on his night stand. He’s gotten it for her, because she got thirsty in the middle of the night.

What really got her attention was the framed photo of them that was right next to it. Her soft smile and his wide one, teeth out as he held her in his lap. His flannel was around her and his hat was backwards as he snuggled her. It had been cool that night but there was a bonfire, not enough seats and a handsy Harry ready to make his lap her throne. Her throat tightened as she looked at the photo, dropping his hand and wrapping her arms around her body to self soothe before she walked up to it.

“Why do you still have this up?” Her voice was shaky still, looking down at the happy memory.

“Because I still love you. I told you.” Hands were placed on her hips as she was brought into him, hugging her from behind as he unwrapped her arms and threaded their fingers together. “I know I’ve been shit. I’ve been… impatient, an attention whore, all of the insults you’ve said. But I love you. I have since day one. I’d have never cheated on you, regardless of what you may believe.” The idea of it made him feel ill.

“Then why?” Her wavering voice made him frown. “Why did you keep flirting with people in my face? I know you said it was cause I wasn’t giving you enough compliments but I didn’t know you thought that.” His heart nearly snapped in two when her voice broke. “I thought the world of you. I was so proud to be with you and then… I thought you just didn’t like me anymore. I know…” A deep inhale was felt as her tummy lifted both of their arms. “I know I can be a little cold or quiet, but I had no idea you felt neglected. I pulled back because you kept talking to other girls how you used to talk to me and… I didn’t feel like it was okay to.”

It made him feel worse. Hearing this now. Y/N had broken up with him and he’d been hurt, his pride making him sneer at her and the nastiness was even more uncalled for now that he knew. Y/N wasn’t a bitch, she wasn’t unfeeling- she didn’t feel safe. He’d done that to her because he was the little bitch here, not giving her the safety she needed in order to open up. While they should’ve been continuing growing, he got his feelings hurt and made it impossible for her to feel like she could give those things to him.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was weak. “I’m sorry. I’ll keep saying it. I didn’t mean it. I promise, nothing I've said is true. I wanted to wind you up, I wanted to fuck you because it was the only way you’d get close to me again. I never intended on making you feel unsafe with me, fuck. That’s the last thing I ever wanted. Makes me feel sick to hear that.” He nuzzled against her neck, placing a kiss there before pulling away, unwrapping them and sitting on the edge of his bed. Y/N wasn’t fighting him, so he gently tugged her to sit on his lap, this time facing him. “There she is.” A sad smile lifted his lips, thumb wiping away the streaks of mascara that had flaked off with her tears. “Still so pretty when you cry, even if it breaks m’heart.”

It was worse than a kicked puppy. Y/N wasn’t a huge emoter so knowing that he’d done this had made him wonder what she did alone. How many other times he’d made her cry but she wasn’t solid enough around him to do it in front of him.

“You broke mine.” She whispered, looking down at his shirt. “I don’t mean to be a bitch. I was just scared.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Let me fix it. Please?” Holding her face in his hands, he got her eyes back on his. “Let me make it better. I won’t do any of that ever again, I’ll communicate better… Just let me make your heart feel safe again.”

Y/N knew she was a sucker for this. She shouldn’t say yes. Every part of her except her brain was screaming to stay, though. While her head was telling her to run away as fast as she could, her heart thudded in her chest and her body wanted closer to his own. It was a decision she may come to regret, maybe she’d hate herself for it, but she couldn’t let go. “O-Okay.” She whispered, feeling his head fall against hers. “Please don’t break my heart again, H. I can’t do that again.”

“I’d rather die.”

His lips were pressed against hers, and moved quickly from there.

One of the things that never lacked with them as a couple was sexual chemsitry. It’s what had them so obsessed with each other at first. The best way to get Y/N to express herself was when she was full of cock or close to the edge of orgasm, which was why Harry had no problem saying his apologies between her legs.

“M’sorry, baby.” He crooned, licking over her drippy slit. “So, so sorry. M’gonna take care of you.” Lips pressed kisses to her clit, a keening whine leaving her lips as fingers clutched his hair and brought him closer to her. His mouth had always been his greatest gift and biggest curse. Somehow he knew all the right things to say, all the right things to do to pleasure her but always stuck his goddamn foot in his mouth. He was going to change that now.

Dark green gazed into hers as he took another broad lick, the tip of his nose brushing over her clit. Large hands with chipped polish wrapped around her thighs and kept them spread, his hair a mess from her hands carding through it with their hot makeout and now his time spent working on her pussy. This was undoubtable a perk of being with the man, knowing how much he genuinely loved to eat pussy. He’d spend hours licking and sucking on her, making her sensitive and cum over and over again whenever he had the chance. For his birthday he’d genuinely wanted a day inside with her where he spent the majority of his morning eating her for breakfast, her thighs his perfect earmuffs from the snow that happened to fall on the day.

Whenever they spent time apart he missed this desperately. He’d not even tried to find someone to replace this because he knew the feeling wouldn’t ever be the same. Sure, he’d loved eating pussy before Y/N but it had turned into a full on obsession with her. No one had ever tasted as good, made as many cute noises, squealed when his mouth latched on her clit and his finger curled just right- like he was doing now, holding her bucking hips down.

“Oh, I know, Mama, I know.” He cooed against her. “Feels so fucking good, doesn’t it? Needed my mouth on this greedy fucking pussy…” Pursing his lips, he spit over her slit and watched it drip with a hiss before usng his tongue to spread it, digits dripping down to his wrist before his tongue trilled over the swollen bud. It didn’t take much to push her over, but a well timed smack against her thigh to get her to stop squirming had done the job. A wet gasp tore from her mouth as she squeale his name, simultaneously pulling his mouth against her and trying to push him away. Using his strength against her, he made sure to lick up a bit before spitting again, leaving her pussy wet and messy as he climbed up her body and kissed her hard.

His chin was wet and she knew he was a fucking mess but her tongue delved into his mouth, tasting herself on him. She could hear the tug down of his zipper, felt him moving and wiggling his pants down but she was too busy sucking on his tongue and reveling in his moans against her to think twice before she felt the tip of his cock smack against her cunt.

“I’m clean, baby. No one but you, never need anyone but you.” His grip on her chin was tight as he rutted himself against her cunt. “Even when you were being a miserable bitch t’me, all I wanted to do was love on you. M’gonna make sure you never fucking doubt how much you own me again. This is the only cunt I need.”

There was sick satisfaction that rolled through him as he slid into her and felt the stretch, watching her mouth fall open as she was filled. It only confirmed what he had hoped- she hadn’t been fucking around much, if at all. Granted, he was thick and long and it would be hard to beat him, but he knew what she felt like when she was well fucked. “Oh, look at that…” He whispered, angling her head down to look at where her pussy lips clung to his cock as he pulled out a bit. “She missed me, didn’t she, baby? Sweet pussy missed my cock so fucking much, doesn’t want me to pull away.”

Harry was by far the filthiest man she’d ever experienced but that’s part of the appeal. He may be a bit of an asshole, but god, he knew how to fuck. How to kiss. How to make her feel special when he wasn’t being a dickhead. Moments like this always wiped that shit clean, the slate cleared and her head foggy as all she could focus on was how right he was. “Yeah- yeah, don’t take it from me again.” She growled, digging her nails into his skin. “Don’t fucking take my cock from me again, don’t make me walk away. This is mine.”

Harry hissed, loving the sting on his skin and how she spoke. Y/N could be a fierce little bitch and he loved that about her. She hadn’t been pleased tonight and he’d taken it too far, but she was going to have no doubt how much he had been missing her. Their hate sex had been good, but their makeup sex was even better. “Never, Mama. Never, it’s all yours. You’re right.” His voice soothed, pushing back into her and reveling in how hot she was. Tight. Everything he could possibly need. “It’s yours always, and I don’t want anyone else. Jus’ want you to let me love on you, make you feel good. Be my girl again. He had everything else he wanted, but Y/N was the missing link. He’d fucked up with her, but he wouldn’t do it again. Not when this was how explosive it was between them.

“You better fucking treat me right.” Her hand held his face now. “Better be so nice to me, buy me f-flowers and hold my hand… Fuck me good, make sure all the other b-bitches know that you’re taken.” Her legs wound around him and he felt a heel surely to bruise his ass, but he didn’t care. “Don’t let them think you’re available because you’re an attention whore.”

Harry moaned at the degrading words, because they were true. He was indeed an attention whore and he’d never deny it. “Only for you, baby. Want all your fucking attention… fuck.” He hissed, thrusting slower as he looked at where they joined. “Creaming on my cock already, really must have missed me.” Noses brushed before he fucked harder into her, trying to bring her to the edge. “Fingers didn’t cut it, did they? No toy can make you feel as good as his. Know that you needed Daddy t’fuck you right.”

Y/N let out a wail as he tugged her hips up, his face leaving hers to sit on his knees while he fucked her. He was getting the spot she needed, saying the words she wanted and she felt hot all over. Syrupy, sticky hot as she dripped down her ass as the sound of their sex filled his room. The music muffled behind the door didn’t matter, all she wanted to hear was his dirty talk and the sound of their skin. “Yes, I needed it Daddy- Fuck me, fuck me right. You always make me cum over and over…” her head rolled back on the mattress as her fingers found his wrists, grounding herself as he fucked her steady and hard.

His eyes took in the view of bouncing tits and a messy cock pistoning in and out of her creamy cunt, breathing heavy while he felt her tighten up on him. His goal was always to make sure she came over and over, a generous lover being one of his positive attributes. “Mhm… It’s never changed, Mama. M’gonna give it to you just like that. God, you look so fucking pretty on my dick, baby. Need to capture it.” He adjusted slightly as he took his phone out, thankful his pants had only been down a few inches as he pressed record. A breathy laugh left him as he fucked into her willing body, aiming the camera down at her face. “Say hi to the camera, pretty girl.” He crooned.

“H-Hi Daddy.” She mewled, preening under the attention. It was a guilty pleasure of hers, knowing he had the filthy images and videos on his phone. It was even better to watch it back and see just how wrecked she got from him. “You’re gonna be nice to me so you- so you don’t have to delete these, right?” He’d had to delete all the videos when they broke up, but she hoped this time they’d get to stick around forever.

“Of course, my sweet girl. Never gonna fuck this up again… Not when we look so fucking good together. Feel so fucking good together…. Fuck, look at that…” He got a close up of her cunt as it stretched to fit him, clinging to his length. “You’re gonna cum, I can feel it.” His eyes met hers as he started to get her to the edge, her face glistening and eyes hazy. “Go on, baby. Do it. Cum on my cock, make a fucking mess.”

Harry could feel it as she did, the high pitched whine of his name and the bite of her nails as she writhed on his cock, the camera capturing her face as she did so. Mouth open and eyes rolled back, the blissed out smile following as he fucked her through it. He didn’t stop, tossing the phone to the side as he kissed her again as his cock pulsed, trying to hold back his own orgasm. “Mmm… fuck. I love when you cum on me. So gorgeous, all mine.” He rubbed their noses together again while humping into her, her impossibly hot cunt clinging to him as he peppered kisses to her face. “But I’m not done with you yet.”

“No?” She grinned, feeling drunk. “Should have known, you sex maniac- fuck.” She pushed his hand away from her cunt. “Give a girl a minute, fucks sake.”

“Just got you back, can you blame me?” He smiled against her mouth, sucking her lower lip into his mouth and grazing it with his teeth. He wanted her to look freshly fucked and glowing tomorrow when she had to meet up with her friends for brunch, sure to piss them off with the news that they’re back together. “Mean it, I’m not letting you go this time. Never again.” His smirk got bigger. “Pussy’s too fucking good.”

“Shut up, slut.” She pushed his face away playfully. You’ve got more than one orgasm to go until I think about taking you back. Prove your worth to me.” His cock could be felt twitching inside her yet again.

“Whatever you say, Mama.” He cooed, pulling out of her regretfully. “Now, get on your knees. I’ve got to say sorry to your pretty ass.”

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