#TTC rainbow baby

[lavenderparadise]

started clomid round 2 tonight. i was feeling a little down at first, but i'm starting to feel more hopeful🤞🏻

[longing-rainbow]

TTC my Rainbow after a missed miscarriage

So here I am, aged thirty three years old, one living child. I recently suffered the utterly devastating impact of a Missed Miscarriage.

Oddly, a part of me still feels that this can not have happened to me. That they have me mixed up with someone else. This could not have possibly happened to me. Things like this don't happen to me.

I remember me and my husband joking to each other on our way to the scan about how it could be twins. Nothing prepared us. NOTHING. for the heartache of hearing them words "I'm sorry, but I think you're baby has died".

Fast forward to three months later.

Trying to conceive

Tracking Ovulation

A living child whom was conceived first time without trying, my pregnancy which resulted in miscarriage was also conceived first time without trying.

Now I am struggling to conceive. Now my body feels all over the place. I am ovulating a week early. I'm spotting throughout my cycle. I feel nauseous constantly. My boobs hurt on and off. Cruelly. Almost taunting me that I am pregnant and then reminding me that I am not.

So many thoughts going through my mind?; Did my surgery affect me? - a D&C after failed medical management. Is my body ok? Are my hormones balanced? what caused my miscarriage in the first place? Why aren't I conceiving now? Am I too old? Am i infertile? Why is this happening to me?

So many questions, and absolutely no answers.

[ttc-baby]

Welp my eyes are playing tricks on me. I’m sure of it. I took a test this morning cause I’ve been feeling off. I swore I saw a line. The faintest of lines but then I’m like nooo can’t be. The thought of a line being there instantly put fear in my head. I want there to be a line, I do. I also am terrified of going through miscarriage again. I took a bite of my eggs this morning and felt nauseous. After eating I had a headache combined with feeling sick. All I can do is wait and see.

[dailypositivequotes]

personal and long life update

I feel comfortable to say this now. This is going to start sad but get better.

TW: miscarriage

Two years ago was the worst summer of my life. I was excited and happy as school ended because my spouse and I found out we were expecting a child right before the end of the year. We initially didn't tell anyone, was going to wait. But then I started to have issues and I talked to my mom about it and my fears that something was wrong. My mom ended up letting me know she was having health issues and they found a mass. And on the same day my mom was diagnosed with cancer I miscarried. I will never forget crying and telling her on the phone and her sighing sadly and saying she had hoped one of us would have good news. I was traumatized. I felt betrayed by my body. I felt betrayed by the universe. I felt like a failure. I felt like it was my fault while knowing it wasn't. I lost a lot of faith in things. I was angry and grieving. I was terrified I was going to lose my mom like I lost my child. And then one of my siblings was in a major car accident (they're fine now but it was really scary and I thought I'd lose them too) and our beloved bearded dragon died. Loss was all around me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even say the word miscarriage for a whole year. Therapy was extensive on it among other traumas. And one thing that also sticks out from that summer is "Running Up that Hill" was popular cause Stranger things aired its new season. I broke down any time that song came down because of the line "I'd make a deal with God and I'd get him to swap our places" made me thing about my mom and my lost child. I told family members. We previously were having pressure from family members on children and the LAST thing I needed was someone asking me for the millionth time when I was going to have kids. Fortunately family was understanding and backed off on the topic. My one sister was pregnant at the time too and we bonded over the fact this was her rainbow child, something she had not shared with any family member and I was able to go to her for support that other family couldn't provide as they never experienced this. Another thing from that summer is disassociating because I love my sister, I was excited for her and her baby, but the topic was very raw for me. I know I attended her baby shower but all of it was blur. And the final thing from that summer / year was I was also obsessed with trying again and "getting it right this time" because I didn't want to face reality or the grief I was having, and honestly...every failed month was also extremely triggering (for reasons I hope are obvious enough for me not to say) so I'd spiral again. It's taken a lot for me to be where I am now.

Since that summer, we got a second dog. Trained our first dog so she is officially a therapy dog. We both were in therapy - individual and couples. We strengthened our marriage. My mom beat chemo and radiation. Currently, she does not have cancer. Discovered I have a medical anomaly, and learned it doesn't stop me from successfully having kids but I could have a trickier time getting there as there were other complications it brought into my life. (Which honestly discovering this, and that it was something I was born with, answered SO MANY questions). We worked out together and made healthy meals together. We stopped obsessively TTC and just focused on us, loving our life as is, and healing. We discussed in January of this year about seeing a specialist and possibly starting fertility treatments in the summer if we felt we were in a good enough place for that. It was a very good, chill and no pressure conservation. In Feb. was the anniversary of would have been due date and therapy, coping skills from therapy, and planned activities helped a lot of with my mental health that day. And then in March, after my dogs were acting weird about me and I was feeling off as well, I discovered I am pregnant. Sure some anxiety immediately spiked but I am doing okay. I think if this would have happened sooner I'd have not been okay mentally due to the anxiety of the past repeating, but I've worked on a lot of trauma from that awful summer and I decided I would celebrate every second of this and if its a shorter journey than I hoped, so be it. I did have an emergency session in therapy during the week of pregnancy that was the one I miscarried at previously since I couldn't quite shake the nerves then. However, this time and last are night and day. All tests and appointments have come back healthy. Symptoms are what they should be. Everything is looking good and I am thankful. I am filled with gratitude. I have a good feeling. My family and my spouse's family are excited, who we told in April as I learned I'd rather lean on people for support if I needed it than grieve or celebrate in silence. My students and co-workers just before the end of the year realized I was pregnant and both set of people were very excited for me. My students created a lot of cards for me. We are excited. I am halfway through the pregnancy. I have seen him (through ultrasounds). I've heard his heartbeat, and am so thankful that it is so strong. And I've felt him kick just now. I am at peace.

[chasingaprilsrainbow]

Not a Pregnancy Announcement

A year ago this past January, I realized I might be pregnant as I sat on my couch chatting with my mother. I tested negative, but something told me to test again, and I did, for three days on the third day, that is when I got those two pink lines. Those two wonderful pink lines. They were faint, but I figured it could only go up from here right? How wrong I was, I tested the next day just because I couldn't believe it, the lines were more faint, and the next day barely visible. I went to the doctor for blood, and they were barely positive. The following day I started bleeding. Baby boy/girl was my rainbow, and now I had to give him/her back to the universe, where my first angel baby resided. I completely shut my partner out, as a matter of fact, I told him I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, and he didn't understand. In a haste of anger, sadness, and grief I got the Nexplanon put in. I couldn't imagine going through a miscarriage a third time. I just couldn't. Our darling rainbow was due September 13, 2023(based off calculations). And we will love them forever.

This February, I had my Nexplanon removed, and my partner and I are now actively trying to conceive our double rainbow. I will post updates and stories of our journey here as frequently as I remember. It took over a year to be ready to even think of TTC again, but we are ready, with hearts cautious but optimistic. We'll never forget our beloved angel baby. Remember, it is OK to grieve for as long as you need to. Love and baby dust to all!

[ttc-24]

Rapid surge!!! These were faint last night and this morning I’m pretty much peaking

[hopelesslyhopefulforyou]

We have a transfer date!!

We transfer our lovely little darling on Thursday, November 4th!

I start Progesterone in Oil tomorrow!

💗💙

[shelbywanders]

God, I just want our rainbow baby. 😪

[raising-addy]

So since I can’t share anywhere else💕 June 12th 2021 on the day of my step daughters birthday we found out we are expecting our rainbow child💕

Tiredness is the biggest symptom besides heartburn and sore feet/breast.

July 7th is our first baby appointment! 💕 I roughly estimated our due date be just a few short days from daddies on February 24ish ! Keep us in prayers that this baby makes it a full 9 months🙏🏻

[carverbabe]

This is what a missed miscarriage looks like. Why do we grieve in private and why do I feel so shameful for speaking about the baby I lost? So many women & couples go through this. We heal by talking about it and feeling COMFORTABLE when we do. I went to my 10 week ultrasound & baby had no cardiac activity, stopped growing close to 7 weeks. I had absolutely no idea anything was wrong. I never got to share my ultrasound pictures. I couldn't even hold the picture when my doctor handed it to me. I had a D&C two days later. I swear to God my world stopped that day. Reach out to people going through pregnancy loss...really reach out.

[lavenderparadise]

clomid day one, 4 more to go 🥹🌈

[casting-caim]

They say be thankful

I already have a little one

But what the fuck do they know

They say be grateful

I already have a son

But what the fuck do you know

They they they

Can’t understand

You

Can’t possible

Because if you knew

You’d understand

One life does not

Replace

The one I lost

[journeytobabyk]

Hi everyone I’m new here and looking for people that can relate to mine and my husband’s journey to parenthood. We are both 26 and have been ttc for the last two years.

[onepinkline]

Our wedding anniversary was last week...

HAPPY THREE YEARS OF INFERTILITY, YOU WASTELAND OF A UTERUS! CHEERS TO THE OVARIES THAT THINK THEYRE TESTICLES!!

[pregnancyloss-support]

[ttc-24]

You know what’s annoying? Being A WEEK late and having NEGATIVE tests