#Thank you so much I really respect you a lot

[ellemj]

A few notes I have for you all:

1) Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response to Does It Hurt. I really doubted that fic and it ended up getting probably the most uplifting and encouraging comments/reblogs that I have ever received. I love you all and appreciate every single one of you who reads, likes/comments/reblogs, DMs, or even just skims my shit.

2) Since the long fic was received so well by you all, and I’ve learned that I hate writing series’ (I swear it’s my commitment issues), I’ve decided to change things up a bit. I currently have two ongoing series that I haven’t touched in a while, and I think the best way to finish them out will be to turn them each into respective 20k+ word fics. So, Time & Temptation (roommates/enemies w/ benefits) and Off-Limits (mafia AU) both will be getting rewritten (with some changes) and then reposted as complete works. I will probably delete the current versions of those works from my blog soon.

3) I do very fucking much want to attempt writing a book. I’m hoping it’s something I can start working on maybe over the next few weeks, and obviously it’ll take a long time, but I just wanted to say that you all inspired it because I never would’ve considered it without the support I get on this silly little blog. Who knows if I’ll ever finish and attempt to publish it, but we’ll give it a go.

4) I’m hoping to spend some time this week getting my AO3 account stocked with some of the fics I have here since I still have a lot of issues with my fics being hidden from followers after they’ve been reported. I’m also thinking about linking my TikTok account here (it has zero posts currently lmao) just for shits and giggles one day. I’ll add any new links like my AO3 or TikTok into my bio here when I do decide to share them.

Just because I have to say it one more time, thank you all sooo much for the support. I have never felt as appreciated and uplifted as I did after posting that new fic last week. You’re all amazing and I’m beyond grateful that even just one of you, let alone a few thousand, would be interested in reading my daydreams.

P.S I promise I read every single comment/reblog/DM obsessively, and I try to respond to as many people as possible. I will be catching up on them soon! 🖤

[drdemonprince]

Wrt White woman brain (WWB): I'm non white largely raised surrounded by white ppl. Have embarrassingly had my own WWB moments/periods in life. I think that there is also an overlap of guilt and learned helplessness in this conversation that might not be picked up on for some folks. Not a excuse at all, but an insight into how a sense of helplessness and undressed trauma gets misdirected against people of color in many social situations. I think it's important for people to be aware of their traumas as to not perpetuate them, but WWB keeps people in a victim mindset even when they are doing ACTIVE harm. I also perceive this to be a motivator behind "white tears" as a defense mechanism.

Also as a non-white person there is an pretty big intersection of racial trauma that feeds into (and sadly sometimes invokes) the WWB phenom. As in, the need for people of color to escape into "whiteness" (respectability politics) can give us the impulse to shut down ideas, attitudes and situations that challenge a polite status-quo that is actually systemically violent.

Anyway, thank you for continuing this conversation. It gave me some stuff to think on and work through. I think it's important for those of us who want to the world to be a better place to criticize systems and structures like whiteness that we are often forced to participate in despite the harm it does us.

(For ppl interested in decolonization and mental health, I highly suggest starting with the invention of whiteness as a construct.) /end preaching to the choir

Thank you so much for your message! You've put it perfectly, I think -- WWB locks people into a victim mindset even while they're actively doing harm. And yeah, sadly, it's not just WW who do it! I think especially as the pressure toward assimilation and as class privilege ramp up for a person, their risk of falling into WWB increases.

Heartily seconding that people examine the social construction of whiteness. I've been hyping up this book a lot lately, but Nell Irvin Painter's "The History of White People" is such a fabulous introduction to how whiteness was invented and why. The first hundred pages or so is a great primer to start with. Hillbilly: A Cultural History of an American Icon by Anthony Harkins is also a great foray into the topic.

I also have found a lot of value in reading criticisms of white British culture. so much of it reflects all the toxicity of white America, just heightened and made even more obviously neurotic to my outsider's eyes that it helps me to better appreciate my own issues. Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class by Owen Jones is a great one, and even some fiction like Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro really helped me recognize some of the most avoidant and defensive behavior patterns in my own culture and family, even though it's ostensibly about British children in a boarding school.

[mclmora]

✧ DL boys + simples headcanons ✧

~NOTE: i have readed @cyrilvows on my dl post & couldn’t find the words to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. you made my day, literally, the only way i can thank u for being so nice is writing these!!! (つ╥ ╥)つ *biggest virtual hug eversjshsi* hope u enjoy!! they’re all SFW, and the pics used aren’t mine! ct to the respective owners on pinterest. xoxoxo, Mora

ꞝ Ayato S.

his body (torso, shoulders & back in particular) has a lot of birthmarks and moles. whenever he gets asked about them he jokes about “y’know the legend that says all your moles are the places you got kissed in your past life? well, i was very lucky!”

has an obsession for cinema. he loves its dim ambience and eating caramel pop-corns while watching all sorts of films.

he can’t tan. like, at all. during summer, whenever he stays for more than 10 minutes under the sun trying to get slightly darker, he gets red as a lobster.

ꞝ Laito S.

he’s a comics reader. he likes DC & marvel a lot! his favorite character is deadpool, he finds him to be hilarious.

loves vans shoes with all his heart. especially the black & white checkered slip-ons. he dresses a lot like a skater boy, wearing oversized hoodies & ripped jeans with small chains on its sides.

his biggest fear are needles. he passes out at the mere thought of blood analysis.

ꞝ Kanato S.

is a toys collector. dolls, peluches, action figures, everything. he particularly loves monster high, lalaloopsy & my little pony.

likes melanie martinez a lot. his favorite album is crybaby, and his favorite song is “carousel”. he loves her creepy lyrics and tranquil bases.

he cosplays! and he’s great at it. especially dark lolita dresses, suit him amazingly.

ꞝ Reiji S.

is a fan of literature, russian one precisely. he reads around 30 books per year, and a good percentage are regarding this theme.

can speak so many languages. 7 to be exact: japanese, english, russian, korean, chinese, german, french. he’s perfectly fluent in all in of them.

he’s vegetarian & also celiac. he has to follow a strict diet with gluten-free foods since he was born, and doesn’t like meat. he loves fish though.

ꞝ Kou M.

an otaku since his early years. he grew up with sailor moon, lady oscar & other shojos that he still loves. the one he’s most attached to is kodomo no omocha.

has a septum piercing! he likes golden/rose golden jewelry and has so many pieces, since he likes to change it every 2 months. (he does favor a small golden ring, OR a classic pink balls septum)

has an addiction to strawberry flavored milk. along with vanilla pastries. and haribo gummies, too.

✧ (u guys can find the other boys in this post!)

~i really hope you liked these, tbh i wasn’t planning on writing dl headcanons about the other boys but u motivated me so much!!! and, AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCHWKEHWLDN ILY

[factual-fantasy]

17 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🦩

(Ask is in response to this ask post) (Frank walking in on Julie post) (Frank and Julie talk post)

YES YES!! EXACTLY!! :DDDD What I had in mind was it takes a lot of energy to maintain her "friendly form". So when ever she is sick or injured she has trouble maintain her form.. She usually deals with this by hiding away in her home until she recovers and can safely let people see her. She's also really good about keeping people from visiting her while she's ill. Saying she's too sick to be around..

Well one time she was sick for a biiiit longer than usual. Frank wouldn't admit it but he was worried, so he brought her some food and medicine. Only to open the door and see... well, yeah. Her true form. But in the end Frank accepted her for who she really was. And he respected her wishes and kept it all a secret. That was the day they became true best friends.. 🥺

The second one is more of a joke though XDD Just kind of a gag to hint at what's going on inside my Julies head!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked my Octonauts fanart!! :DD

And I LOVE Octonauts! I'm just on break from drawing it right now.. been having some bad experiences with the fandom so I'm taking a step back for a bit.. <:'//

Oh no no! Not at all! Don't worry- I didn't even realize you had sent more than one! XDD (If they were separate as asks that is-) I don't mind the extra ideas at all! My ask box isn't nearly as full as people think it is.. <XD

@anikakitty11

It looks so soft... I want it... 🥺🥺💞💞💞

(In response to this post)

KASNKAD SUCKO?? XDDDDD

@blade-liger-4ever (Uncle Iroh art in question)

AAAAA THANK YOU!! :DD I'm glad, he's one of my top favorite characters! Right next to Appa XDD

Daww, thank you so much!! You're too kind!! :}}} 💞💞

@monika-396

Aww!! Such a little guy :}}}

I assume you meant for me to create an original Pokémon, but to be honest I think Furret suits me pretty well! <XDDD

I don't mind at all! :D Let me go down the list-

Gardevoir♀️ - Gloria

Kricketot♀️- Anastasia

Meowscarada♂️- Midori

Ampharos♀️ - Bonnie

@cashlessfailure

Me? Give someone else a drawing suggestion? Huh.. well, how about a Dusknoir? Its my favorite Pokémon :))

@volvoxweeb (Recent post in question)

Indeed it is! I couldn't resist buying the pack when it came to the switch <XDD The call is so pretty... 🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💞

(In response to this post)

Oh! Thankfully I hardly ever get krilled. I have a slick trick I like to call "closing the game as fast as possible" XDD

Great idea! I'll make a note of this! :))

Oooo!! :00 I didn't know Avatar had an official comic series! :DD Thanks for letting me know, and I hope you have a nice day too! :))

@clownaroundtowne

NOOO DON'T BE MEANNN <XDDDD

@kermit-ydafrog

I actually love this dog

[unhinged-simp]

LOVE YOUR HC!!! Can I ask for Haku, Romeo, Sho, Subaru courting the reader? And maybe a jealous HC if you are comfortable haha (could be combined to one or separated HC)

Haku, Romeo, Sho, and Subaru Courting Reader HCs(Gender Neutral Reader)

Of course! Thank you for requesting.

Ahhh thank you!

I'll do a separate jealous HCs since I didn't really include it in this post. I wasn't as well versed in courting hcs as I was in dating hcs, so I hope you enjoy.

Spoilers for the Hotarubi chapter in Subaru's part

It happened one day, out of the blue, when Haku asked you if he could court you. 

When you agreed, Haku began.

It started with texts. You two would converse whenever you had free time.

The texts ranged from ordinary school life to the flirting that Haku did occasionally. 

Next, Haku would give you little gifts. Flowers, little keychains that reminded him of you, plushies, and many more gifts.

And finally, he planned out many dates.

Restaurant dates were the first kinds of dates you went on. Then you went on trips to amusement parks and arcades. Now you guys go on little fun dates.

Haku would make sure to set boundaries between you and him.

If you enjoy physical content, he would make sure to initiate it. If not, he'd respect it.

Haku would ask Subaru and Zenji for advice for courting.

You would meet with the other ghouls in Hotarubi very often, having tea parties and talks.

Even though he's busy most of the time, he always makes time for you.

Romeo is a bit worse with courting. He didn’t even tell you he wanted to, he just started doing it. 

When you told him that you’d go through with the courting, he didn’t really react besides a “good choice” and a smile, but inside he was ecstatic.

Romeo was not that great at flirting at first, often times more of a backhanded compliment than a real compliment. Though after some conversations with Rui, reluctantly, he managed to get the hang of it.

The gifts Romeo brought you were oftentimes things he uses and owns. 

Similar clothes, the same perfume he wears, and even similar sunglasses. He also gets you lots of flowers.

Even with his busy schedule, he managed to plan dates. 

Fancy restaurant dates were the most common, although if you expressed interest, you could convince him to go to an aquarium, amusement park, or site seeing different spots in Japan. 

Romeo is very possessive and proud. The gifts he gives you are his way of “marking you.” 

He'd only be affectionate in public if it was a way to brag about you, and the fact that you’re the one dating the great Fico. 

He would actively keep you away from Taiga and Rui, especially Taiga. 

He’s always eager to meet up with you whenever his work ends.

Sho doesn’t really know how to court properly, but that still doesn’t stop him.

After much consideration, he asks you if could court you. 

He already texted you a lot, but he ups the romance a bit. He tries to flirt with you, but it ends up failing, at least you got a smile out of it. After lots of research he starts getting the hang of it.

Sho learns your preferences to pick out perfect gifts for you. 

He gives you your favorite flowers, clothes he knows you'd like, and jewelry that you love.

Though he does buy you small things like coffee and food.

Dates with Sho are often held at your dorm with a home cooked meal made by him. He does take you on amusement park dates, arcade dates, and even cooking dates.

Sho does enjoy physical touch, and often holds your hand. Kisses and hugs are saved for private. He loves cuddling with you.

He actively keeps you away from Leo, but he doesn’t mind you being around Alan. 

You’re his encouragement, and he looks forward to whenever he gets to see you.

Subaru is a mess when it comes to courting you. When you approve of him courting, he nervously starts.

Subaru’s texts are polite and romantic. He doesn’t know how to flirt, so he often asks for advice from Haku and Zenji. 

Subaru uses his stigma to learn your preferences, which helps him not overthink presents for you. He also gets help from Haku about gifts for you.

Lots of flowers, jewelry, and little trinkets are given to you by him. He gives you a pretty decorated good luck charm that he made.

Subaru’s dates are pretty chill. He takes you to watch Kabuki, you two have little tea dates, and you take little walks through scenic places. 

Subaru doesn’t like physical touch due to his stigma, but if you do, he’ll deal with it. He does like hugging you, he just wishes his stigma doesn’t activate.

You have tea and snacks with Haku and Zenji occasionally. Subaru sometimes joins in with them when he isn’t busy. 

[karasuno-planet]

Long Distance + Prying Eyes- Oikawa Tooru

Post-Timeskip Oikawa x fem!reader

genre: a little bit of angst w/jealousy, but mostly fluff <3, sfw

wc: 0.6k

a/n: wow i wrote for a character that's not a Karasuno player?? Are you shocked? amazed? proud? thanks guys. my requests are open, enjoy <3

(gif not mine)

You had always felt like long-distance was a little harder on you than it was on him, despite his constant reminders that he misses you just as much. When he moved to Argentina he was swept up in the sport he had always been so devoted to, and who knew there would be just as many fangirls in Argentina as there were in Japan?

You were the only one who got to know Tooru in the way that you do, though. You have everything those girls want but could never have, but there was always still a lingering tinge of jealousy for the fact that they got to be physically around him while you were constantly reminded of his absence.

You sat in your apartment, eagerly tuning in to an interview Oikawa was doing. You opened your phone to see Tooru had sent you yet another picture of himself, this time showing you the outfit he had chosen for the interview. Soon enough, you see his tall frame walk on screen and sit down with the interviewer.

The questions had been pretty normal, asking mostly about his sport and his experience as an olympian. But your attention was particularly grabbed when the interviewer started asking about his personal life.

"So, Oikawa, it's no secret that you're the attracting force of a new fanbase, particularly a lot of girls your age have been tuning in since you joined the team here in Argentina."

He kept his sincere composure, seemingly unfazed by the question and still flashing his million-dollar smile, "Yes, I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of fans lately, which I'm grateful for."

"Oh, you have? Anyone in particular? I know our viewers are dying to know if someone has captured your heart."

"Well I hope I make it come across clearly that I'm in a serious relationship..." He responded using a light-heated tone, but he still came off a little defensive. You didn't mind that.

"Really? Tell us more!"

"I try to keep that aspect of my personal life a little more private, but I have a beautiful girlfriend back in Japan. I hope to show you more of her soon," He smiled so confidently while talking about you, and the respectful way he always spoke about you made your heart melt.

"How do you feel about your fans then? Are you creeped out?" The interviewer seemed to be asking questions to probe him for drama rather than discuss his career, which felt so skeevy to you. Thankfully, Oikawa was more than equipped to handle the questions.

"I'm always grateful for the support, and honestly flattered, but I always call for fans to respect my relationship and it hasn't been a huge issue." He smiled and nodded his head, "I just find myself so in love that it doesn't even faze me anymore. I don't give a single look to other girls." Upon hearing this your cheeks flushed red; there was no better words he could've said to the world to solidify how he felt about you and push away prying eyes.

A similar rush was given to you as you saw the words "I just find myself so in love that it doesn't phase me anymore" printed at the top of a news article the next day with your boyfriend's smiling face right below.

Long distance was not easy by any stretch, but having Oikawa Tooru as your boyfriend made it so worth it.

[masterlist]

[rems-writing]

Until we meet again, my love

Trope: Anubis!Seonghwa x MoonKnight!reader

Context: Anubis is the ancient Egyptian god of the dead long before Osiris came about. During his funerary practices, he would ensure lost souls that they would be cared for and respected as they move on and live in the Field of Reeds.

Synopsis: Marc and the reader have been shot to death by Arthur Harrow as they are trying to stop him from releasing Ammit from her ushabti prison and wreaking havoc. As the twins fall to their death, they are separated as they land in the Duat. Taweret, the goddess of childbirth, is currently calming Marc and Steven down as they have found each other and are trying to escape the Duat. They both woke up in what appears to be a mental hospital but... what of his twin? Where are they? And why are they not with Marc and Steven?

Includes: implications of sex but nothing actually happened, simp!Seonghwa, gn!reader, spicy moments

@newworldnet

@blossomnet

Once again, thank you to @ja3hwa and @acupoftaewithsomesuga for helping me decide which god goes with which member

"WHERE'S MY TWIN?!" Marc yelled out in a panic.

"As much as I would love to ask many questions, Ms. Taweret, where is Marc's twin? We really need to find them!" Steven agreed nervously.

"I'm not sure, gentlemen. And I am so sorry. Rest assured; we will find them so all of you can move on." Taweret said in a soothing voice. The hippo goddess, albeit calm on the outside, was panicking along with them. She was supposed to welcome and guide all three of them across the Duat and into the Field of Reeds.

'Oh dear. I need to find them fast.'

Little did she know that another god slipped out from the shadows and snatched the other Spector out of selfishness...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You groaned as you woke up first and stretched before sitting up in bed. Your eyes were bleary so you rubbed the sleepiness out of them before blinking rapidly.

Wait...

Your room never looked like this.

Pristine white walls surrounded the room and you noticed a pc sitting atop a desk. It was black and chrome silver and there were figurines everywhere, along with Lego sets. You narrowed your eyes and leaned in a bit before retracting yourself.

The Lego set had pyramids and the Lego figurines looked eerily a lot like the henchmen/followers that Arthur recruited. You gulped nervously as you saw the Lego figurine version of Arthur with his stupid cane and his stupid smirk. More Lego figurines popped up in your vision and you felt a shiver go down your spine.

There were four Lego figurines that depicted Marc, Steven, Marc's wife Layla, and you.

Finally, you looked behind the figurines and your eyes widened.

Two tall Lego action figures were battling it out. One looked like Ammit once she was released from her ushabti prison. Even in Lego form, she looked terrifying. The other looked like Khonshu, that fuck ass old bird Egyptian god of the moon.

Just what was going on?

You felt cold and you covered your nude self with a blanket.

Wait a minute...

WHY WERE YOU NAKED?!

That's when you saw it. And you wanted to throw up.

Clothes were strewn all over the floor, alongside opened condom packets. Your eyes then looked downwards to see a human arm wrapped around your waist.

From the looks of it, that arm was holding you tight. You felt pain on your neck and you realized that whoever you slept with, they left a lot of hickies on your neck. Your lower body was also aching and you lifted the covers slightly to see the grip marks on your thighs.

If you truly did have sex with someone, they must've went hard on you.

You tried to wiggle your way out of this person's hold yet to no avail. They were holding onto you so tight that you felt like you were being glued to the bed. Finally, you freed yourself from your captor's grasp and went still as the person groaned sleepily and turned to the other side.

'HOLY SHIT! HE HAS SCRATCHES ON HIS BACK! I SEROUSLY NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!'

You quickly but quietly snuck out of bed and tiptoed your way over to the first door that you saw. When you opened it, it revealed a closet.

'Huh. Not what I was looking for but I suppose I could get dressed before I dip. After all, I don't need Marc and Steven seeing me naked.'

As you entered the closet, you couldn't help but be fascinated by the amount of clothes this person had.

At least this person had good fashion sense.

You were about to settle on a random set of clothing when you came across a familiar suit. You pulled it out momentarily and almost screamed.

It was your ceremonial suit that Khonshu provided.

You threw it against the wall and it landed with a soft thud onto the floor.

Just what was going on??

Panicking, you threw on a white tank top and white shorts before running stealthily into the bathroom. You turned on the faucet and splashed your face a bunch of times with cold water. As you grabbed a towel and dabbed your face dry, you looked up into the mirror to see your reflection.

You almost let out a scream.

Instead of a haphazardly dressed woman with bed hair and hickies all over her neck while the shower was behind her, you see a woman with lifeless eyes and an outfit that looked similar to Marc's. You then saw two bright red spots on the chest area of your outfit, alongside with a body of water surrounding you.

'No. NO. NO! I'm not dead! I shouldn't be! We were so close to taking down Harrow! Wait... did he shoot us?!'

You rubbed your eyes and counted to three before opening them. You saw the reflection that you expected to see, but you weren't alone.

Standing behind you was a tall man dressed in black sweatpants that hung low on his hips. His upper half was bare. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you towards him so your back was touching his chest. His head was buried in the crook of your neck and you felt his plush lips kiss your neck softly. You froze when you felt the tip of his long tongue drag upwards before kissing behind your ear.

"Come back to bed, my love."

Hell no.

You shoved his arms away from you and you turned around so you could face him instead.

That was a mistake.

His face was the prettiest face you've ever seen on a man. Plush lips formed into a pout, a prominent pointed nose, brown eyes that looked warm and inviting, a long slender neck that was littered with a lot more hickies, a small waist, and long arms that fit his lean muscular body.

You didn't know if you were ensnared by his beauty or experiencing gender envy.

You were so distracted by him that you failed to notice the faint outline of a jackal's head surrounding him.

"Are you ok? Looks like last night took a toll on you. Maybe I'll be gentler next time."

"Last night?! I just got here! What are you talking about?"

"Huh. For someone who doesn't drink a lot, you sure don't remember a whole lot."

As he stepped closer to you, you backed up slowly and reached behind you to try and open the bathroom door. Of course it had to be jammed. As you wiggled the doorknob, you felt a hand caress your cheek lightly. Wearily, you looked up to see the handsome man tilt his head slightly out of curiosity.

"Do you remember my name? You were definitely screaming it a lot."

"The fuck? No I don't! And quite frankly, I don't want to remember it."

You didn't miss the way his eyes turned from playful to upset yet you chose to ignore it. You wiggled the doorknob again while he kept speaking. His voice was soft but instead of it being teasing, it was saddened.

"My name is Seonghwa."

"Yeah hi nice to meet you, Seonghwa. Listen. I need to go."

"Go where? Are you in a rush to go to work? I can drop you off."

Ha. If only it were that simple for you. You shook your head.

"Look. If I don't leave now, I might be too late. Thanks for letting me... sleep over... or whatever. Ok bye!"

You finally pried the bathroom door open and you sprinted to the final door. You were so anxious to leave that you didn't hear him yell cautiously.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

When you opened the door and stepped out, you froze.

Nothing but sand dunes and eerie winds were present. As you looked around, you noticed something different in the dimly lit sky. Huge balls of bright purple light shot down from the sky and landed in various parts of the sand dunes. Your eyes widened in realization.

Arthur was still alive and sending people down here using Ammit's power.

"No. NO! This isn't happening!"

You needed to get out of there. You need to be reunited with Marc and figure out how to escape this place. You were so caught up in your own head that you didn't notice the man, who claims to be Seonghwa, grabbed your arm and pull you back inside the room. He closed the door and locked it. You were about to protest when he held a finger up.

He was annoyed. But wasn't he holding you captive though?

"Had I moved a bit later, the sands would have eaten you alive, leaving you to be lost forever in the Duat."

The Duat?

Oh shit.

You really were dead then.

"The Duat is the Egyptian Underworld. But doesn't Osiris rule this place?"

A loud and bitter laugh escaped his pretty lips and you felt yourself blush out of embarrassment. Clearly, this wasn't Osiris's avatar. So who was he?

"Even the human I fell in love with only remembers that fool's name."

Wait a second...

The gears finally clicked in your head and you felt yourself kneel and your head bow in shame.

"I'm so sorry, Anubis! I forgot that you were the original personification of death. Please forgive me. Do not send me out into the sand dunes. Please!"

Seonghwa, or Anubis as you have stated, sighed quietly as he looked at your trembling form kneeling before him. While a part of him was happy that someone remembered his name and still trembled in fear right in front of his presence, he never wanted you to tremble in fear because of him. He swallowed his pride and knelt down to your level before grabbing your shoulders and making you rise to your feet. Your head was still bowed down in shame and his heart clenched painfully at the sight.

Clearly, you had no intention of forgetting who he was. You were so wrapped up in your fear and anxiety of this place that he couldn't help but hug you. Lifting your head up so you could see him, he brought you into a warm hug. His strong arms wrapped around your shaking body and he shushed you gently whenever he heard you mutter apologies.

"Oh, my love. It's ok. I'm just glad you remember my name. Don't cry."

He kissed the side of your head while you laid on his shoulder. He kept you in his embrace until you stopped shaking. He pulled away momentarily and wiped away the remaining tears that were on your face.

"Normally, I don't do this with most of the lost souls that end up in the Duat. However, you are someone special to me. I don't know if you recall, but this isn't the first time that we met."

"H-Huh?"

Seonghwa smiled sadly. He tenderly kissed your forehead before continuing to speak.

"Let me change into something a bit more appropriate before I explain."

He pulled away and walked into his closet to change quickly before coming back out in a different outfit.

He was now wearing a black tank top and blue jeans. They were adjusted so the waistband of his underwear was peeking out from the top. He raked his fingers through his messy black hair so it wouldn't look as bad as when he rolled out of bed and found you in the bathroom.

Even the waviness of his long black hair was pretty!

He pulled you once more into the bathroom and hoisted you up onto the counter before standing in between your legs and assessing any wounds you might have carried.

You were dead though so why would he...

"I'm aware that you're dead. However, I still pride myself in making sure that you look presentable even if you're dead."

His response was sassy and playful once more, yet it didn't stop you from feeling even more embarrassed. You hid your face in the crook of his neck and your ears perked up at the sound of his light and melodious laughter.

"It's ok. You probably didn't mean to say it out loud."

He bent down and brought out some gauze and a few medical supplies, along with some herbs and a mortar & pestle. The gauze made you skittish and Seonghwa noticed this.

"Come here, my love."

He brought you into a tender kiss, his lips molding with yours slowly and sensually. He set down the supplies and held your waist with a firm yet gentle grip. He snaked his arms around your waist and hummed in content as your shaky hands found his shoulders and settled on top of there. Just when he was about to shove his tongue down your throat, you pulled away. The both of you caught your breath and both of your lips were swollen.

Even though you enjoyed being in his arms, you were on a time crunch and you couldn't afford to waste it more. Seonghwa noticed this as well yet he couldn't help himself.

"Are you ok, my love?"

His voice was soft and caring as his eyes raked over your form. You stopped shaking but he had to make sure.

"Yeah. I'm ok. Thank you."

A pretty smile graced his face as he got to work in taking care of you. You watched as his hands raked over your body. It wasn't sexual but you definitely felt flustered under his touch. He took a wet rag and carefully dabbed it over the grip marks and bruises left on your thighs and hips. It felt warm to the touch and you watched in awe as the marks and bruises suddenly disappeared. Almost as if it was dirt smudged on your body!

He then moved on to the hickies on your neck. With each hicky being wiped away from your skin, he left a tender kiss in that same spot. Since he left a lot, the feeling of being flustered intensified since his soft lips raked over your skin. Again. It wasn't sexual but you highly doubted that he treated all lost souls like this when he tended to them after finding them drifting hopelessly in the Duat. Once he was done, he lifted his head and kissed both of your cheeks.

"How are you feeling, my love?"

"I'm great I mean I'm hot I mean I'm fine I mean uh..."

Seonghwa giggled at your rambling and kissed you quickly to shut you up.

"This last part... you might need to take off this tank top."

You knew what was coming. Rather than argue, you slowly lifted your tank top just enough for him to gasp quietly as his eyes fell on the two holes that were in your chest.

"Ammit's followers did this to you?"

You saw the angry look on his face as his eyes went from brown to a menacing black. The outline of the jackal's head shone brightly as a growl emitted from his throat and one of his hands gripped the countertop so hard that you were afraid of the godly strength he would use if he broke off a piece of it.

"Seonghwa, calm down. Please."

Your plea falls deaf on his ears and you panicked. Shoving your tank top down, you surged forward and grabbed his face before kissing him quickly. His body relaxed as you pulled away and connected your forehead with his. You saw a tear roll down his face and you quickly wiped it away.

"Technically, only one follower did. His name is Arthur Harrow. He used to be under Khonshu's grasp, but now he follows in Ammit's footsteps."

"That doesn't make it any better, Y/N."

"I know, but still. I'm here with you now."

"It's only temporary since you have to go back to the world of the living and stop this mad man."

"Whether it be temporary or permanent, I am here with you."

"You're right. If I had it my way, I would never let you go. I already did the first time."

"Speaking of which, when did we actually have our first encounter?"

As Seonghwa signaled for you to lift your tank top once more so he can take care of the bullet wounds in your chest, he spoke.

"It was when you and your brother died under Khonshu's statue after defeating those mercenaries."

A wince left your mouth and Seonghwa quickly apologized, thinking he hurt you. You shook your head.

"You didn't hurt me with the tweezers. You unintentionally brought up a painful memory."

"It was never my intention to bring you pain, my love."

"I know, but still. You were just recalling the first time we met."

"You were so young. I couldn't bring myself to drag you to the Duat at such a young age, knowing that there was more in store for you. Begrudgingly, I let Khonshu take a hold of you. I even forced him to promise to take care of you and your brother. Being a younger god, he obeyed me."

You wanted to make light of this situation so you decided to roast the moon god.

"Khonshu? Young? His godly form is withered and the bird skull is old."

Seonghwa's heart melted when you lightly giggled as you poked fun at the moon god. After removing the bullets, he placed some herbs in the mortar & pestle before pouring water in and grinding them up.

"Contrary to what you might think, he is actually younger than me. It's my human disguise throwing you off. My original god form is quite... something."

He stepped back momentarily to reveal his godly form for a brief moment before resorting back to his human disguise.

"Well then... that's definitely something. I think I like this better. Sorry."

You smiled sheepishly and Seonghwa waved it off, not offended at all.

"It's ok. A lot of people find it better if I approach them like this."

You felt a pang of jealousy course through your body as you thought about how many lost souls encountered him before moving onwards into the Field of Reeds. Seonghwa must have noticed and he smirked lightly before setting the mortar & pestle down and leaning in to leave light kisses on your jaw.

"Is my pretty baby jealous?"

His voice deepened and became more sensual as his lips roamed across your skin. You shook your head and Seonghwa chuckled smoothly before lifting his head to stare at you with sincerity and love in his eyes.

"Relax, my love. There is nothing to be jealous of. I only want you."

You felt at ease knowing that he had eyes for you only. Satisfied with your contentment, Seonghwa got back to work. The ground up herbs mixed with the water turned into an aromatic paste. He grabbed some with two fingers and applied it gently over the bullet wounds. You watched as he finished tending to your wounds and a grateful smile fell onto your face.

"The paste dries up quickly so you can put your tank top back on now."

You touched the spots that were covered in paste. True to his word, the paste did dry up quickly. As you put the tank top back on, you found him staring at you.

"So... what now?"

"Normally, I'd guide you into the Field of Reeds after tending to you. However, knowing that you need to get back out there and defeat this Harrow guy and Ammit, I will make sure you get back to the land of the living. By now, Osiris must've let Marc and Steven go and Taweret rescued them from the sand dunes. They should be here in a few minutes."

"I wish I could stay with you. You've been the kindest god I've ever come across. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, my love. I'm sorry I grabbed you out of selfish impulse."

You hugged him tightly and Seonghwa returned the hug gratefully. A knock sounded on the door and Seonghwa let you go before walking to the door and opening it. The hippo goddess looked back and forth between the two of you before speaking.

"Did you two..."

"No no. It was just an illusion to trick them. They looked past it."

"Ok good. Because if Marc was behind me, he'd probably would have tried to punch you."

"I'm fully aware of how protective he is."

"Well then... we've no time to lose. Come on, Y/N."

You looked at Seonghwa one last time before kissing his cheek and going with Taweret to board the boat that Marc and Steven were on. The boat soon took off and Seonghwa waved goodbye before closing the door behind him. He clutched his chest and a sob broke out of him.

"Until we meet again, my love..."

He waved his hand and the illusion of the nice bedroom was taken down, revealing the cobwebbed emptiness of the mummification room he forever resides in.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been some time since you and Marc were resurrected and took down Harrow before using him as a vessel to trap Ammit in. As promised, Khonshu let you go. You two were no longer bound to him so you got to live freely as regular human beings.

Which leads us to Marc arguing over the outfit you're wearing right now.

"Absolutely not! You're not going out like that!"

"Marc, come on! It's not that bad!"

"You're wearing a crop top. It's showing too much. Go change!"

Layla heard the commotion and giggled slightly at the Spector twins arguing.

"Marc, could you please tone it down a bit? It's a blind date! If it goes wrong, at least Y/N only wore this one time." Layla teasingly convinced Marc. Marc was about to protest when he felt Steven front.

"Layla's right, mate. I mean I don't like it either but if they like it, then I cannot argue." Steven's voice rang out. After Marc fronted again, the older twin sighed.

"Fine. But one time only!" He relented, feeling defeated. He smiled when he saw you squeal happily and felt his heart burst with adoration towards Layla smiling at you.

You saluted jokingly and hugged him before going with Layla so she could drop you off at the designated date spot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DURING THE BATTLE BETWEEN THE MOON KNIGHTS AND AMMIT

"Are you sure, Anubis? Once you leave the Duat, your memories will be left behind here and you will become a new man in the land of the living."

Seonghwa sighed as he listened to Taweret.

"I'm fully aware. I'm ready though. I want to be with Y/N, even if it's not in my own body."

The hippo goddess sighed and brought the ancient god into a hug.

"Ok. If you say so. In the body of a different man, with a clear mind and an open clean heart, welcome to Earth."

Seonghwa smiled blissfully as he heard the last words of Taweret before stepping out into the light.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRESENT TIME

"Hey. Sorry I'm late. Parking was horrible and traffic was twice as bad."

You looked up and saw the man you were supposed to meet. You almost folded.

He had long silver hair, bleached eyebrows, and glasses perched on the tip of his prominent nose. He had full lips, a nice jawline, and brown eyes that were warm, inviting, and a bit familiar.

He wore a suit that clung to his dorito like body well. It shaped his broad shoulders to look even broader. His waist was small and his hands were huge and adorned with many silver rings. As he sat down across from you, he spoke in that deep voice you loved already.

"I hope you didn't wait long."

You shook your head.

"You made it on time actually."

You stuck out your hand for a handshake.

"I'm Y/N Spector. Pleased to meet you."

The man smiled as he took your hand and shook it. His smile reached all the way to his eyes so they formed crescents.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Song Mingi."

[butt0nzz66]

okay I got some sleep my thoughts have changed slightly.

So after a little spiral of sadness yesterday and grieving the incredible love and softness we got in first 6 episodes. I got some sleep and watched it again with the bf who in respect to my obsession has watched all the seasons with me to understanding what I’m yapping about.

I actually am beginning to like it more and can’t lie I really enjoy episode 7 I love the angst, Mr fingerton of worldwide and the wedding. I think this did a great job of demonstrating Colin’s internal struggle between loving and wanting pen but not been able to reconcile both sides of her and the wedding was a happy one until big QC rocked up. I even didn’t mind the entrapment comment because as one other poster pointed out he’s lashing out in anger because he knows he basically ran to the carriage and didn’t give her a min to breath after lol.

However I am still struggling with a few points and I have laid out what I think they could have done to improve it with a few short scenes.

The ending of episode 7 e.g. lack of a wedding night. I personally think the queen thing could have happened after, so we get a sweet wedding night where things aren’t perfect but they are moving towards understanding eachother, this gives us as the viewers a min to breath and then next episode is the queen/cressida drama and then this new wave of struggles for him(yes even with the couch sleeping) or them against the world kind of approach.

Another thing I found is while I do think they actually portrayed quite well him talking to various people to reconcile his feelings in the last episode e.g. Cressida, Eloise, there was a lack of communication of his growth to Penelope and while yes he’s a sulker that isn’t a heathly representation of marriage like you need to talk. I think this could have been improved with a very simple “I’m trying to get to that, but it’s just going to take me time” kind of line in the study love confession.

I also would have LOVED to have seen the conversation between Colin and Violet following the letter Penelope sent, to see her go from shocked to impressed and to see Colin realise maybe I am a lil jealous and dragging it out a bit. She was so insightful with him in episode 4 I think we could have all benefitted from her wisdom and maybe pointing out that while LW didn’t always do things in the right way she has always tried to save the Bridgertons because she loves them more than anyone.

Finally if we could have added a short scene of them after the ball going home and her being like “no more on the couch?” or them running to the bedroom laughing not even sex just fluff then that last sex scene wouldn’t feel quite so plonked in. Like don’t get me wrong I’ll take any crumb I can get but would have been nice to have an intro to it.

I think if we sacrificed a few sub plot scenes for that then it would be a 10/10 despite the angst being dragged on a bit. But maybe that’s just me having too much drama in my own life I don’t want it in my escapism show.

Also the end of season 1&2 was pretty similar in a lot of miscommunication and drama right up until the last second so it was silly of me to hope for something more.

So big shout out to the BF who watched it and gave his perspective of colins feelings which I think helped me get out of my own way.

And I’ve seen a few posts saying why is everyone so critical and quite frankly um because that’s how I feel? Like overall I loved the season definitely my favourite of the 3 and all the actors did a brilliant job however I will point out where I think things could be better. Which is why I’ve tried to word things in a more cohesive way now I’ve had time to reflect. Forums like this are built from discussion if you don’t like what someone is saying scroll on past, to be honest reading your positive analysis gave me a new perspective and improved my thoughts of it so that’s great and thank you, but if you don’t like what I have to say please let me know your thoughts, mute me or scroll on by and stay in your happy bubble because honestly it was a great show overall.

sorry for my rambling but the comedown is worse than any drug and I miss them already 😢

[pinkyjulien]

I did not expect hostility over my Flat Chest mod, so I'll half acknowledge it and kill some of the assumption before they take roots in other people's minds

No, I did not make this mod *because* I refuse to support Na's flat chest mod

Initial Mod idea was a working "binder" for Fem, something you'd equip to flatten the chest- like a real life binder, basically. It's part of my To-Do list of June, for Pride

The mod evolved as I got more ideas, I also started working on a body replacer, it's basically ready to ship as well, but I decided against it; not to step on toes and causing confusion with two "flat chest" body mods, knowing there is also another one in the work from a fellow modder

(the binders themselves will come much later, and will be available for both fem and masc body frames!)

Again, the mod started as a "binder"- I mentioned it multiple times, either in servers where I started sharing the idea, and in the tags of my mod post

"Binders" are not costumes. They are gender affirming aid, something a lot of person use; I've made a couple of "wearable" / "switchable" body parts mods in the past already, including a trans masc vagina, I really hope you don't see this as a costume as well?

In the universe of Cyberpunks, implants and synth skin are used by everyone, for all kind of purpose; GNC people, trans people and gender-fluid people would probably use implants and cyberware to sculpt themselves, feel comfortable in their body

Who's to say some rich citizen wouldn't have some fancy switchable body pieces- hell it's even canon in game, Mr.Stud and Mrs.Midnight? Switchable boobs are already a thing, I don't see what's wrong with switching up for a flatter chest

The survey's results aren't out yet, so I couldn't know. But that's beside the point, as my mod isn't a "bandaid" for any issue this fandom may have

If the name is causing trouble, I'm open to changing it; but the main goal, again, was to flatten the vanilla fem V chest, and I think "flat chest" is pretty straight forward for nexus users

Mmmh. Sorry but, no

Everyone is different and handle their own space differently, and I do not want to support people who did me, or my friends, any serious mental health damage. Be it from harassement, witch hunt and whatnot

I won't be dragging in there old drama from 2 years ago, but I simply won't support someone who tried to get a friend of mine fired from their work place, threatening to send a 30+ pages google doc to their leads and boss, and dragging all of their personal beefs to the public on multiple social medias. They ruined my friend's mental health, and I simply won't forgive nor forget.

That is my right. And I wish people would accept and respect that.

I won't tell anyone who to support or what mod to use/not use, NOBODY should tell you what to do, what to support, who to like or dislike; and nobody can control who I must support and what I must do. Simple as that

And I'm glad the flat chest body mod exist for people who wish to use it! I'm offering another option that I'm sure some people will find useful

Thank you :)

People already gave me trouble in the past for "doing work that already exist"

Those past few weeks has been eventful when it comes to "drama" especially involving Zwei, who's notorious for having a modding monopol and gatekeeping ideas in general

Let's not bring that same mindset here, yeah?

Everyone is free to mod what they want, whatever body they want, to refit what they want!

Again, just to point it out, mod isn't there to fix a problem, that's just a mod I wanted to make

It's a brand new mod, meaning it needs refiting; I did not test the flat chest bodymod, nor tried the already existing vanilla refit. And I won't, for the reasons I cited aboved a few lines before.

I'm glad you agree! Nobody has to do things they don't want to

You call it disingenuous, and I call it having principles/self respect; again, crazy how different people are from one another, and how we just can't assume everyone work and react the same as we do

I see, I see, the name is a big issue; I'm open to suggestion, feel free to leave a reply and I'll see what catches my eyes

Cause It's still my mod, so I get to decide

Anyway, hope this cleared up a few things, and sorry this made people upset!

For everyone else, thank you for the support 🧡

[kaidanworkshop]

I have to say, I'm very impressed with what I've seen so far! I don't want to say too much on the matter because I respect that taste is very subjective, but I really disliked the EE because lots of times Kaidan didn't feel like Kaidan, and I get why, it was a collaborative work (and that's all I'm going to say). However I really care about consistency in a quest or follower mod, and I see lots of effort and care in your project to keep Kaidan as Kaidan. I know that with lots of people working together this is incredibly difficult, so well done!

Thank you for the kind sentiments! It definitely takes more time to finalize decisions with more staff members, but we find that the peer review system we've been operating on produces a more refined product than any one of us could create on their own. That being said, the most beneficial part of our process in creating new content has definitely been the live script readings on our Discord. Everyone has a slightly different image of 'who Kaidan is' in their head, including us! When we take the time to go over the new content we've crafted for KR:CE, we're double checking that our depiction of Kaidan resonates with what the community at large would expect, given his vanilla characterization. So far, we've been given the thumbs up on the direction this new content is heading towards. We can't wait to continue crafting more new stories with our favorite Akaviri!

[aajjks]

dhp!jungkook

okay.. then i’ll stay with you. you’re still my best friend at the end of the day and don’t want you to hurt yourself.. it’s been about three hours anyways, should we go see her now? come on..

*they walk in to see a struggling yn up and trying to get dressed. finding out from the doctor, she’s discharging herself, crying.*

why are the two of you here? i said to leave so please leave.. i don’t want to see either of you two.. i just want to go home, i don’t want to talk to either of you.. dr, is my friend here? please, i’d like to leave now.. i’ll do a check up later but i’m okay right now now.. both of you, leave! why are neither of you going away! i don’t want to see you anymore jungkook, i just want you to go away! you both hurt me and i’m over it so please leave..

you’re completely okay! you were disrespected and it’s not right. again, i’m writing more to give the background between yn and sarang and what she says to yn. it mainly sarang i’m writing about so you know what she’s like, how she gets into yns head. some scenes, jungkook wasn’t even in! i just hate when people act so entitled when they give nothing!

“Y-Yn what’s wrong I never hurt you once-I was going crazy without you because I thought I had lost you?!! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS? YN YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH… please don’t do this to me… baby what’s wrong talk to me… TALK TO ME… YN WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE BOTH HURT YOU WHAT DID SHE DO?”

[personishfive]

in which goro is recruited

[writereleaserepeat]

Hear No Evil - Chapter 5

Previous // Next

CW: bbu, bbu-adjacent, pet whump, institutionalized slavery, dehumanization, dehumanizing intent by using it/its pronouns, ableism, blood mention, scar mention, non-sexual nudity

It felt wrong to touch the boy’s face. It felt wrong to touch a person who had been endlessly abused into mindless submission, someone who had been trained through pain and suffering that they had to exist at the will and command of another. It felt wrong that the boy was still sitting naked, all but skin and bones, entirely unmoving on Rowan’s floor. 

What other choice did Rowan have? Was there another way to communicate with this boy, one  that wasn’t as direct as physical contact? Necessity, Rowan reminded himself as the boy’s face turned upward in his palm. I’m doing this out of necessity.

Even as he gently guided the boy’s face to look upwards, he refused to meet Rowan’s eyes, his gaze directed towards the floor. That was alright. It was going to have to be alright for a while, Rowan suspected. 

After a moment he let his fingers fall away from the boy’s chin. He wouldn’t have admitted it, but he was relieved when his new houseguest held the position rather than dropping back to the ground. 

“Hey there,” Rowan greeted. He did his best to smile. “I don’t know if you remember, but my name’s Rowan. I know this is new for you, but it’s new for me too. It’s new for both of us. I’m sure you’re probably scared, but we’re going to get through this. We’re going to have to learn together, alright?” 

The boy didn’t even blink. 

---

Master didn’t seem upset that Pet was holding still and looking up at him. By the hint of a smile on Master’s lips, it seemed that he was pleased by the unusual posture. 

It didn’t dare meet Master’s eyes, of course, but now it could try and read his lips. Even if it couldn’t decipher the words that Master was speaking, it had already come to enjoy the soft murmur of Master’s speech. The kindness and warmth was enough for it to relax. 

New… new… new for both of us… learn together…

Pet knew that it could do that. Pet was happy to learn new things for its Master, and it was going to try its very best to do them well. Failure meant punishment, but even worse, failure meant disappointing Master. Disappointing its old Master is what got Pet into this mess to begin with. It could handle any amount of pain, however Master chose to train it, but disappointment always burned the deepest. 

Pet can be good. Pet can learn with Master. 

---

It struck Rowan that now only was the boy still naked, but the stench of waste and sweat clung to his body. The putrid odor of the liquidation event had begun to seep into the room at no fault of the boy’s own. 

Of course - Rowan privately scolded himself for forgetting. The facility never gave its victims the luxury of proper hygiene, and this one had been stuck at the liquidation event for days, before eventually being stuffed in a box. There was no wonder that the boy’s curls were slicked down with grease and dirt. 

Rowan attempted a smile. He knew it didn’t reach his eyes, but how could it, when he knew how much pain this person had been through? 

“How does a bath sound, yeah? Can we do that?” Rowan offered this enthusiastically. Rowan also knew that his bathroom was a bit of a disaster, scattered with half-empty shampoo bottles and skin care products he hadn’t used in weeks. He tried to soothe himself by rationalizing that the boy wouldn’t particularly care about the room’s cleanliness. 

There was no reaction to Rowan’s offer, not a nod, not so much as a twitch. It was all he could do not to sigh, worried that any sighs would be interpreted as misplaced frustration. The last thing he wanted to do was set the boy on edge. 

He remembered what worked earlier, the very gestures that had lured the boy to his bedroom in his first place. After giving himself a determined nod, Rowan took a few steps backwards, and gestured with a low hand to invite the victim to follow along. 

Much to Rowan’s relief, the boy understood. He scampered forward on his hands and knees, eyes glued back to the ground, every bone on his gaunt frame showing. As much as Rowan would have preferred him to walk on two feet, this was going to have to do for the moment. Just enough to get him cleaned and settled in, nothing more. Then they would begin work on rehabilitation. 

As soon as Rowan opened the door to the bathroom, the boy bolted forward and into the tub in a tangle of limbs and apparent enthusiasm. Rowan hadn’t spoken a single word or made a gesture. He smiled in spite of himself, and cocked his head to the side.  

“Alright, I guess baths are okay? That’ll make this easier.” Rowan thought about the many victims that had been tormented by water, scalded or frozen at inhumane temperatures, or held beneath the surface until they drew mouthfuls into their lungs. To have a victim who was at least amiable to the cleaning process would relieve the burden on them both. 

The boy had resumed the typical kneeling position in the tub, seemingly unbothered by the hard porcelain. Rowan figured it was best not to try and correct that for the time being. One step at a time. Be encouraging. 

Rowan leaned over to the spigot and slowly turned it on, carefully easing the handle towards “H,” and diligently checked the temperature as water began to flow. Once it was comfortably warm he plugged the drain and watched as the clear liquid began to pool around the boy’s legs. Rowan almost swore he heard a contented sigh as the boy’s eyes slipped closed. 

For the first time in more than a day, Rowan felt himself smile, a genuine smile. And for the first time, he felt that maybe he was cut out for this. 

---

Pet was grateful for the washing before it even began. Its old Master was so particular in keeping Pet clean, and would have his servants scrub Pet down every day beneath a stream of hot water. Sometimes the soap was floral, other times it was citrus, but it always left Pet smelling wonderful. Handler never gave it such luxuries when it was sent back to the training facilities. 

The water rose ever higher, first over its thighs, then over the pale skin of its stomach, until the water finally came to a stop right above its navel. It could have groaned with how pleasant the warm water felt on its aching legs and bruised knees. For a moment it nearly dared to speak, express its gratitude for the kindness, but knew better than to open its mouth without being told. 

Still, it was a treat to have Master wash it rather than a servant.

Master gently cupped warm water over its head, and Pet closed its eyes tight to keep the water out. With each new splash of water Master continued to talk away, his voice nearly as warm as the water, wrapping around Pet’s shoulders along with the suds. Of course, the words were still indistinct, and Pet listened in case there was a command it could discern, but it was already starting to think that maybe Master just liked to talk. Pet wouldn’t mind that at all. 

---

“I’ve never really had anything to name before,” Rowan mused aloud as he worked his fingers through the boy’s curls. The texture was so much deeper than his own, the ringlets rich with weight. He made a quick mental note that the dollar-store shampoo he used for his own pin-straight hair would most certainly not do in the future. 

“You see, I had to name a goldfish when I was a kid,” Rowan continued as he began to rinse the shampoo out. “I had to name it, and I stalled for weeks. My parents kept asking me, and my sister kept bugging me about it, but I just didn’t have anything. My mom eventually suggested ‘Goldy,’ and I just went with it. But if you can’t tell me what you want to be called, at least not yet, you deserve a name. A proper one, something with a bit of dignity.”

He wondered if there were websites to help with such a thing. namesforyourbrainwashedhumanslave.com? It wouldn’t surprise him. 

“You’re going to have to learn to wash yourself in the future.” Rowan gently wrung some of the water from the boy’s thick head of hair and hoped he wasn’t pulling on the roots. “It’s okay if that doesn’t happen right away. I’m more than happy to help, but I want you to feel comfortable doing things on your own, without having to ask me. You can come in here and have a bath whenever you want. The apartment incorporates the cost of utilities into the monthly rent already, which means we can use as much as we want at no extra cost. It’s nice to have almost unlimited heat in the winters, especially this far north.”

As he began to carefully wipe away the grime on the boy’s face with a warm cloth, Rowan nearly startled when the boy leaned into the touch. He hadn’t expected to feel pressure returned against his hand. After pausing long enough to pull himself out of the shock, Rowan pressed on and began to scrub at the dried blood on the side of the victim’s face. Flakes of muddy brown and deep crimson scabs covered the deep gouges that ran from his temples, down his ears and jawline, almost down to his neck. Given the extent of the damage, it was a wonder there was any skin left. 

“I hope one day you can tell me how these got here,” Rowan murmured as he got a good look at the wounds for the first time. Blood flaked away and fell in hues of brown into the water, mixed with fresh red from the most recent and still-weeping wounds. 

“I’m sorry,” Rowan whispered before he could stop himself, because he knew he had to be hurting the boy, no matter how gently he tried to proceed. The wounds were deep, and Rowan wondered if they needed stitches. How was he supposed to tell? Maybe they were too wide for stitches, maybe the scar tissue was already too well-formed. 

They were different than the scars that Rowan had seen on other victims before, and he had seen the aftermath of many instruments of torture in his time. These scars were jagged, and they were as wide as three fingers across, as though they had been continually torn open. It was the first time Rowan saw them this close up, and he noted that the cartilage of the ears was warped and knobbed. Again, something like he had never seen before. 

The water had turned a translucent copper color, and Rowan tried not to be sick as he reached in to drain the bathtub. A quick hand gesture and the boy got out of the tub and knelt back down on the bath mat. 

Right, towels. Dry him off. 

“Let’s get you dry, huh?” Rowan spoke. Maybe it would help ease whatever tensions were running through the boy’s mind if Rowan kept narrating what he was doing. He imagined it would be beneficial to take away some of the nerve-wracking suspense, and instead replace it with vocalized certainty. 

Forcing a smile on his lips, Rowan grabbed the freshly-laundered towel he had set aside, and held it out in the boy’s line of sight. 

“I’ve got a clean towel here. If you want to do it yourself, just grab the towel, and I’ll stop. Otherwise, here we go.” 

As soon as the terry cloth made contact with the boy’s shoulders, he leaned into the touch, his upper body shifting a few centimeters closer to Rowan’s own. Again. This time, Rowan didn’t startle quite so easily. In fact, he was surprised at himself, and the happiness that blossomed in his stomach. 

He knew he couldn’t take happiness in this forever. There was no joy to be taken in a human being that acted on inhumane training, a human who sought other human contact because they were told to, not because they wanted it. But if the boy wasn’t afraid of him and his touch, that was one small victory. Rowan had a feeling he was going to have to take the little victories for what they were. 

“You’re doing great,” he said, not for the first time that hour. But this time, Rowan knew he might have been talking to himself as well. 

---

Taglist: @honey-is-mesi @aswallowimprisoned @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @honeycollectswhump @rekiroyalstraightprincemaru @tragedyinblue @clairelsonao3 @octopus-reactivated @maracujatangerine @peachy-panic @whumplr-reader @dislexiher @cc1010foxy @onlybadendings @panstardalia @tempoghast @whumpzone

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

[good-beanswrites]

And here's one with Weak for Fuuta and Amane, for anon! I've recently been going crazy over some ideas from posts about Fuuta and food and he and Amane's relationship, and they came together perfectly with the prompt -- thank you for the request 👀👀👀

“Can you be quiet for one minute?” 

Fuuta spun around from where he’d been complaining loudly about the food, with his mouth full of it, to find Amane glaring from beside him.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he said through bites. He paused to swallow, though. And take a sip of his drink. And then forgot was he was talking about anyway.

Amane returned to mouthing a blessing over her food. The annoyance in her expression melted away to serenity as she brought her hands together. Fuuta watched as she drew herself up. Then she ate calmly. He could have crumbled in shame, right then, at the thought of this tiny kid holding up better than himself. 

She, too, had experienced the punishments that came with their verdict. Restraints pulled so tight it’s hard to breathe. Long nights of maddening voices and watchful eyes. The smaller meal portions leading to shaky limbs. Fuuta spent every meal inhaling as much as he could as soon as he could -- and here Amane sat as if she had a perfectly content stomach. Through everything, she maintained her strong gaze and commanding voice.

Fuuta reminded himself she did have a few advantages over him. She still had all her eyes and ribs intact, for one. It was difficult to give someone a convincing stinkeye with only one eye.

While he continued shoveling down his meal, he noticed her separating things on her plate. The meat in the corner went completely untouched. 

The aforementioned treatment had made him irritable -- more irritable than usual, that is -- and he jabbed his utensils at her. “Hey, we talked about this. Eat your fucking meat. I’ve been eating my vegetables, yeah?” Not that he wanted to. He would have eaten just about anything they put in front of him if it kept the gnawing hunger at bay.

“It’s against my beliefs,” she said simply. 

“I thought suicide was, too.”

She raised her chin. “I’ve known plenty who have fasted and become stronger for it. This is nothing drastic.”

Fuuta grit his teeth. He’d witnessed his fair share of internet-goers who acted cruel about another’s religion. He wasn’t about to join them in being some piece of shit who forced her to do something that was against her code. But there was no way he was going to sit around and watch her starve herself, either.

He couldn’t blame Amane for how harshly she’d refused help from the others -- they coddled her, encouraging her with sweet talk, or tried an insufferable stern parental tone. Fuuta wasn’t cut out for any of those methods, anyway. What he did know how to do, however, was make threats. 

Even if Amane didn’t fear death, he knew there was one situation she would do absolutely anything to avoid. 

“Oi, if you get any weaker, Shidou’s gonna step in.” Her frown twitched. “He’s already harassed me and Mahiru about our meals. He saw my hand shake one time and hasn't stopped hounding me about it since. The minute he can tell you’re not eating enough, he’ll be all over you. And let me tell you, you’re not very subtle about it.” 

The final statement came out with more bite than intended. Maybe he was bitter that she was at least more subtle than him. Maybe he thought it was fucked up the way she, too, had grown visibly weaker. Maybe he was just hungry and tired of talking. He attacked another mouthful of food. 

Amane was searching her plate as if the answer could be found there. There was a long silence as she contemplated. Fuuta had thought he’d won until she shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

He rolled his eyes and head in an over dramatic show of exasperation. “So stubborn!”  When he was done chewing, he picked up his plate. “Fine.” He gathered up all that was left, dumping it onto hers with a flick. 

A fire ignited in her gaze. She shoved the dish away. “I’m not some weak child to be pitied.”

“Wha–? It’s not pity!”

“You think I’m weak.”

“I think you’re hungry!”

“You don’t know anything!”

Mikoto passed by, chuckling as they raised their voices. “Look at you two hotheaded kids. Do I need to break it up?”

“Go away!” they chorused.

“Alright, sheesh…” He kept walking, leaving the pair to stew in silence. 

Fuuta didn’t have it in him to fight today. He was tired. He ached all over. If she wasn’t going to appreciate his help, so be it. He was starting to get used to his good intentions being taken the wrong way. It looked like he was just the weak one, after all. He grabbed his empty plate and stood to leave.

“Fuuta.” Amane took a deep breath. “I am hungry.” She gestured for him to come back. Then she moved the meat from her plate onto his.

He eyed the offering, hoping his expression didn’t betray how desperately he wanted to scoff it down. “I’m not some asshole who’s gonna take your food.”

“You’re not taking it. I’m giving it. I would have thrown it out otherwise.” Amane picked up some of the vegetables. “In return, I will eat this. We both must stay strong for the ordeals ahead.”

After a moment of hesitation, Fuuta sat back down. He took a bite. Neither said a proper thank you. Neither needed one.

He glanced to Amane with a smirk. “Good. This way, we’ll both keep that geezer Shidou away.”

It was only for a moment, but for the first time since the second trial began, Fuuta could have sworn her lips slipped into a small smile. 

[monkee-mobile]

Do you think Davybaby ever regressed before meeting/joining the Monkees? Either in England or after moving to America

And if so how do you think he dealt with it?

I feel like he did but to a different level. he probably never really OFFICIALLY regressed and was really of seen as a little one during it until he came to the states, but when he was particularly stressed out while still in england he’d often go into a kind of weak state if his defenses were really down, he just didn’t process it through really regressing like he would later on. in england, he’d try his absolute hardest not to have that happen. he’d just feel really small and vulnerable and had no one there to protect him or help him through it except his sisters, but they didn’t jump right to babying him, they’d more just help him through the panic attack part of it all. usually he’d just lock himself in his room if he couldn’t brave through it and curl in on himself and sob until he fell asleep (poor thing). he’d often start sucking his thumb, but he just took that as a “weak” behavior that was just coming back from his childhood. He’d also often go pretty nonverbal for a while afterwards but he’d push through it all and move on (which definitely wasn’t the best for him, but it got him through that time. poor little guy didn’t face his own emotions at all). this kind of shutdown didn’t happen all that often cause davy worked hard to build a tough shell and braved it through all the way to when he moved to america and got out of the pressures of his family.

the move really did break him down because suddenly he was alone in a strange country so when the boys first met him he was definitely flighty and not the suave kind of guy he got to be once he became more comfortable, but they were all new to each other so davy didn’t really have a chance to feel super safe to just let himself feel things so he kept up the hard exterior he had built at first. but of course the monkees became very comfortable with each other and basically climb all over each other at all moments so davy started going “feral toddler mode” a lot where he would just go all silly and giggly and playful, so his comfort came through in a relatively childlike way, but he didn’t panic regress until a while after the guys were a group.

but eventually it happens and davy breaks down really hard at some point. it’s the boys who really start babying him when it happens. in the past he didn’t have anyone to really take care of him but things kind of clicked when he was held and talked to softly and he just sunk into the love that was given to him and it helped him process everything anew.