#That being said I'd like if we got some of the human characters including the S1 ones back for S3

[snek-eyes]

Omg I LOATHE the coffee theory with all my heart.

About Maggie, I did a little deep dive into existing fan theories (the most "popular" one being that she might be demon offspring) and I'd like to reiterate. I don't think there's anything supernatural going on here. A while ago Neil confirmed that Maggie was immune to Azi's attempt at hypotizing her in the final episode to forget what was happening because he had done so much hypnotizing already and didn't have the spoons to put in the effort it would have taken to actually put her under a spell since she'd already witnessed so much that it would have been harder to change her perception, and that's not only what I initially thought, too, but what feels like the most logical thing. The spelling mistake might be just her being upset because she thinks she'll lose the shop she loves so much. Or it might be a red herring there to make us think there's something more going on but there actually isn't. Or, in addition to my first point, since Maggie is supposed to mirror Crowley, the spelling mistake might be part of that (Crowley himself isn't bad at spelling but the other demons are associated with it so it makes sense, just like Maggie living in her shop because she can't afford a flat mirrors Crowley living in the Bentley). Plus, I don't think Maggie is an important character. She was a main character in the season, much like Madame Tracy and Shadwell and Adam in the first season, but the story is centered solely around Crowley and Aziraphale and their love story and I feel big reveals like "Maggie is a demon/is offspring of supernatural beings" doesn't really fit the story. All of which to say yes I think you're right 🤣❤

-💫 (btw I love being halo anon! feels very sophisticated and ethereal 🤣)

Seeing everyone play around with theories and ideas is overall fun. That's what fandom is for! So most of the time, I don't like being like "It's Not That Deep bro." But then there are times where I'm like, welllll we might wanna just pull out Occam's razor here, the simplest explanation is probably the best one. Especially when it comes to theories that feel like they do the characters a disservice, because character motivations and flaws are what I find interesting. Most of the time, I'd rather spend time thinking about what it says about a character that they chose to do X, than there being external factors that Made Them Do It. Maggie being a demon right now is just "well of course she did that, she's a demon," I don't know anything about her as a person who would choose to do this. If S3 introduces me to her, I'm open to it! But until then, I agree with you that I just don't think she's much bigger of a character than what we saw.

[homicidal-sheep]

I will defend Eurylochus to my dying breath because what the fuck yall, he is not the malicious monster people are making him out to be?? Like these characters are so morally grey its not even funny.

I love Ody with all my heart but the man did fuck up. He is human, and a plaything of the Gods, which is a very dangerous position to be in at the best of times.

I've seen people saying Eury has no moral high ground on the Scylla thing because he wanted to leave all the men at Circe's. Now firstly, I highly doubt a simple scouting mission would include all the men (see Cyclops saga, when only a fraction went). So they would be running to save what men remained, not ditching the entire army. Secondly, what exactly did you want them to do when facing Circe? They didn't know Hermes was there. All they knew was there was a magic lady who could turn people into pigs. So what, were they gonna ask really really nicely? Somehow I highly doubt that would work. Without the Gods intervention, I just don't see them winning. Eury was cutting their losses because from his POV, there was quite literally nothing they could do for the men. Best case scenario they snuck the men/pigs out and, idk, kept them as pets??

As for the wind bag, yeah it was a really dumb decision. But Ody is the one who decided not to trust his men, especially Eury. Ody has already given up on the crew, and they likely feel that distrust. Why should they put their blind faith in a man who refuses to clue them in? Why should they believe that he has whats best for them in their hearts? Ody's own guilt caused him to embrace an ideology that got a bunch of them killed. (remember when he said the only one who's lines he hasn't crossed were his own?) And we can see some of this growing resentment in Perimedes cut song. We as viewers have context the men simply do not.

Sidenote, people say Eury would have gotten them lotus'd. Yeah maybe. or maybe Ody would have recognized the fruit before they ate it, like he did with Polites. We cannot know.

The other point I keep seeing, that I find absolutely baffling is "well they deserved to die for mutinying, they should have listened to their king and captain" I'm sorry when did we all become monarchists. Kings and captains can absolutely make bad decisions? We should not blindly trust authority?? Yeah Eury kept questioning the captain. He was second in command and the voice of the crew, not only is he voicing their discontent, I'd argue that a good king should have someone who is willing to disagree with them. While Ody is right, that in the middle of a dire situation isn't great, and it would have been better to address those issues in private, they are very legitimate worries. If your captain has admitted he would burn the world to see his son and wife, I think being a little worried is absolutely fair.

The Gods keep appearing and helping Ody but they are also incredibly dangerous beings who constantly play with the lives of mortals.

On to the cow thing. Ya it was fucking dumb. But I can understand why. The man is fucking tired. They don't see a way out and at that point, starving to death slowly, so desperately afraid, probably sounded like a terrifying fate. Better to get it over with.

And he still cares! Ody is his literal brother in law. They bandaged his wounds when they could have idk, sacrificed him to Posideon or something. What Ody did to them was 100% betrayal and I understand why they mutinied, with what information they had. For petes sake he kept singing "I need to get home", I, not we.

Again, I love Ody, but good lord, the man is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Let them all be complicated, tragic characters without labeling them as cookie cutter good guys and bad guys.

[enixamyram]

Things I Hope For in Season 2:

Huskerdust - I heard Vivzie is hoping for at least 3 seasons and while I enjoy a slow burn, I also don't want them to get together at the very last minute. I want a chance to have a season of them being together before we say goodbye. So if we are gonna get 3 seasons then can they get together in season 2, please?

Velvette - She's in my top fav so I hope we get a chance to learn more about her since she's still pretty mysterious compared to the other Vees.

The Vees - I really want them to have a genuine familial and caring relationship. Someone else said it better but in general I just want them to be god awful selfish people who care only about themselves and each other and nothing and no one else.

Valentino Break Down - I'm sure you've seen that TikTok. The one with that song I can't remember the name of where Val is losing it over Angel breaking free. I want this! I want a whole song number of Val just having a massive tantrum when he realises Angel is steadily escaping him.

Flashbacks - I've heard this is apparently actually going to be a thing. I'm looking forward to whatever it is but if I was being greedy, I want flashbacks both of their human lives and of when they first ended up in hell.

Niffty Explanation - I still stand by that I both am terrified and in love with this character. But more than anything I'm curious about her so I would love to learn what her deal is!

Chaggie Date - This is kind of a filler episode idea. I have the highest of hopes that now the show has done so well, they'll give it more episodes and maybe we can get some filler type episodes. One of which should include Chaggie having a date! I don't care what whacky scenario follows, I just want to see them being cute and cuddly!

Angel's family - I really hope we see more of his family. I also hope that Molly has a chance to somehow interact with her brother. And, to be evil, I also hope that Arackniss is a bastard and we get some angst with him and Angel because I heard (no idea if it's true or just gossip) that Angel's family was mostly homophobic. I mostly want angst because I then want it to be followed by comfort from the rest of the hotel.

Fat Nuggets Origin - Either a flashback of even just Angel telling someone about how he got Fat Nuggets. I know Val gave him to Angel, but I am curious as to how it came about. Was it when Val was pretending to not be an asshole, or was it an "apology" for being a dick or what? I need to know!

More Overlords - I'd love to see more of the Overlords who didn't really get much screen time in Season 1. Like the T-Rex looking one whose name I'm not sure because I've seen multiple ones for her...

Lilith and Lucifer Reunite - Vivzie has managed to make me love this couple despite never actually seeing them together. Just the way she describes them as a corny sweet romance, I desperately want to see these two together. I want to see the corny sweet romance between them! (And you know, figure out what's going on with Lilith and answer all the questions and blah blah blah, give me the romance!)

Lucifer Vs Alastor - I love these two together. I need more of them pissing each other off. I have been spoiled with fancontent and now I need something canon.

Cherri - I want more of her in general! But I also really, really, really hope we see a softer side of her. I pretty much originally fell for her because of the Addicts music video, seeing her stand up for and look after Angel when he was at a low point. And while I still love her being the good intentioned bad influence that she was in her episode, I do want to see that side of her again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not inviting a friend of mine into my dnd campaign?

so i (18nb) have a friend (18nb, Martin) who i play in a main dnd campaign with with all our other friends (Ill name them Dan, Virgil, Mark, and Ray). Dan is our DM after we kicked out the old one bc she was horrible. We're a pretty close group of friends, but lately we've all been really busy with respective school & work, ect. so we didnt play dnd for a solid, like,, 4 months. I DMed a one shot for everyone besides Ray cause she was flaky anyway, and added in my boyfriend Zeke for it.

Everyone had a really fun time w it and I loved everyones characters, especially Dan's. I watch a lot of dnd shows, so i just keep getting more ideas- but while the one shot was fun it was messy as hell. Ive been wanting to write a campaign for a smaller group for a while, (because when i tried making a campaign with the whole group the character creations were... disappointing to say the least. this sounds mean but i created a fairy world that was very magical & told everyone to go crazy on character creation in a world with few/no humans, and like 5/6 people opted to be a human with a fighting class :/ )

ive been writing a campaign that im really proud of and have a good vision for, and decided to include Mark (because we're best friends) Zeke (because he wants to play dnd more and has no opportunities) Dan (bc he never gets to be a player) and then another close friend of mine outside the group named Gabe (who i love but never get to see) I love their characters & we're all super excited.

Thing is. I was briefly talking with Dan, Zeke and Mark about it at school bc I'd sent everyone a little intro message for the world and they were all super excited and wanted to talk to me about their classes. Virgil had no problem with this and was excitedly asking abt the world + characters along with some other friends from school, but Martin got quiet and went and sat by himself. I could tell they were off, but Martin is generally a quiet person anyway and is often sad + doesnt want to talk for like a hundred different reasons, so i left her alone. Later that day in a different class I have with Virgil he showed me his phone where Martin had sent him a message saying she was really disappointed & felt left out that i hadnt invited them to my campaign.

i instantly felt bad and started to text him, but,,,, to be honest, i dont think im at all responsible for this.

i have reasons for leaving Martin out, the main one being that they just..... arent a very active player. Hes soft spoken and doesnt actually like rping their characters- her character in our main campaign is/was literally mute bc they said they didnt want to have to speak as him. (theyve since taken this back and went through with a curse breaking thing to be able to speak, but her character,,, still doesnt talk much.) he writes really good, sad backstories but doesnt actually play or do anything with them and gets uncomfortable acting. Their characters are not only emotional, but like. crazy. they play a bunch of cool tieflings with insane magic classes & features and then, again,,,, dont roleplay them. I didnt want the group to be big and had a good reason for including everyone that i did, and our other friends that arent in it (Virgil, Ray who is Martins sister btw, all our other d&d interested friends at school) literally dont mind at all. i just wrote a campaign that theyre not in. Martin also has their feelings hurt very easily, so to be honest i just find her being sad about not being in it just... stupid. id never say that to his face & i get that he feels bad, but like....cmon.

im aware im a very very incredibly low empathy person- to be honest i struggle with depression and bpd very heavily and am often mean to my friends & loved ones without really processing why or how much it affects them. i told Virgil that i thought Martins reaction was stupid, and he said that that wasnt fair bc Martin had always been in my campaigns before (which is, yknow, one. Martin and I were even in a campaign with a completely different group a while back and Martin willingly left it very early because the group was loud & their character wasnt doing anything (yeah)). Every time Martins expressed (or i guess not expressed) sorrow for not being invited to it ive just sort of ignored them. this again isnt that uncommon cuz when shes sad he doesnt like to talk about it, and also they havent directly confronted me with this at all.

ive been talking about the campaign a lot because it occupies frankly a lot of my brain because i have so much to write, and i especially talk to the people that arent in it bc theres no risk of slipping up and telling them something they arent supposed to know. The other friend, Gabe, is friends with Zeke and Mark and I, and Dan is good around new people,, but Martins really quiet around people he doesnt know well, so if i invited her anyway they'd probably play the game even less than they already do.

again, im really bad at having an actual perspecitve on this. Virgil said he feels bad for Martin but not for himself, as far as i know Dan doesnt know about the situation, and i literally just dont wanna involve Mark and Zeke (Zeke HATES conflict and when people fight so he really doesnt have to be involved.) Mark Martin and I have all been really close friends since literally 7th grade and I guess Martin especially feels left out that I involved Mark and not them but Marks both really good at character creation and also talking in character, and like, hes my best friend who i do everything with.

I dont wanna blow off Martins emotions but but i truly dont give a shit that they feel betrayed by my not inviting him. especially because they havent bothered actually telling me this. objectively i dont think its my fault even a little, and Martin is really horrible at handling their emotions anyway (this isnt an insult, just a fact. i am too). aita for not inviting him + not caring that shes upset by it and acting like they arent?

sorry this is so long i really like providing context

What are these acronyms?

[severus-snaps]

Snape and Poison

I got distracted whilst writing a different meta so just thought I'd list every time I've come across that Snape was associated with poison in the series.

I first started thinking about all of this because Lucius was trying to get rid of poison in Borgin & Burkes at the beginning of CoS:

“ — and as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear — ” “I understand, sir, of course,” said Mr. Borgin. “Let me see …”

...and I liked the idea that Snape was originally the one to brew it. Although unlikely, I also enjoy the idea that Snape had a hand in both the poison Draco attempted to use to kill Dumbledore, and Voldemort's emerald potion which ultimately did kill Dumbledore - because how sad if, no matter what he did, Snape was always the one destined to end Dumbledore's life?

It's obvious that Snape is most closely associated with potions in the books, but Snape is also the most consistently associated character with poison (with the notable exception perhaps being Slughorn - but even then it's shown that Harry is mostly learning from the Prince):

Philosopher's Stone Snape's introductory lesson outlines how a bezoar will save you from most poisons; he brews poisons for the PS riddle; his introductory speech includes how to "stopper death":

Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar? ... For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. … I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death

From WebMD: Aconite contains a strong, fast-acting poison that causes severe side effects such as nausea, vomiting, breathing problems, heart problems, and death.

Snape's riddle/poem:

Three of us are killers, waiting hidden in line. Choose, unless you wish to stay here forevermore, To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four: First, however slyly the poison tries to hide You will always find some on nettle wine’s left side

Chamber of Secrets Snape looks as though anyone who approached him about a love potion would be force-fed poison in CoS:

“My friendly, card-carrying cupids!” beamed Lockhart. “They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn’t stop here! I’m sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you’re at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I’ve ever met, the sly old dog!” Professor Flitwick buried his face in his hands. Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.

Prisoner of Azkaban The trio think Snape is trying to poison Lupin in PoA; Snape sets an essay on undetectable poisons; Snape warns that potions brewed incorrectly can turn to poisons (revisited when the Trio visit Arthur in hospital in OotP post-Nagini, and a sign reads: "A clean cauldron keeps potions from becoming poisons."), and threatens to 'poison' Trevor.

Harry looked curiously at the goblet ... Professor Lupin took another sip and Harry had a crazy urge to knock the goblet out of his hands. “Professor Snape’s very interested in the Dark Arts,” he blurted out. “Some people reckon — ” Harry hesitated, then plunged recklessly on, “some people reckon he’d do anything to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job.” “But if he — you know” — Hermione dropped her voice, glancing nervously around — “if he was trying to — to poison Lupin — he wouldn’t have done it in front of Harry.” Harry sat finishing a nasty essay on Undetectable Poisons for Snape. “Everyone gather ’round,” said Snape, his black eyes glittering, “and watch what happens to Longbottom’s toad. If he has managed to produce a Shrinking Solution, it will shrink to a tadpole. If, as I don’t doubt, he has done it wrong, his toad is likely to be poisoned.”

Goblet of Fire Snape implies he'll poison someone, and Harry absolutely thinks that Snape wants to poison him in GoF; Moody says Dark wizards can poison an unattended cup, and regularly checks his food for poison (wouldn't do him any good if they were undetectable however); Snape later threatens to practically do the same thing to Harry that Moody is trying to avoid by only drinking from a flask, and slip something into Harry's drink [only with Veritaserum this time, not poison] when he thinks Harry has broken into his potions supplies again

“Brilliant!” said Harry. “It’s Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won’t have time to poison us all!” “Antidotes!” said Snape, looking around at them all, his cold black eyes glittering unpleasantly. “You should all have prepared your recipes now. I want you to brew them carefully, and then, we will be selecting someone on whom to test one. …” Snape’s eyes met Harry’s, and Harry knew what was coming. Snape was going to poison him. Moody had told them all during their last Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson that he preferred to prepare his own food and drink at all times, as it was so easy for Dark wizards to poison an unattended cup. [“It is Veritaserum — a Truth Potion so powerful that three drops would have you spilling your innermost secrets for this entire class to hear,” said Snape viciously. “Now, the use of this potion is controlled by very strict Ministry guidelines. But unless you watch your step, you might just find that my hand slips” — he shook the crystal bottle slightly — “right over your evening pumpkin juice. And then, Potter … then we’ll find out whether you’ve been in my office or not.” - interesting also because Moody had also been in Snape's office] Professors McGonagall and Moody kept them working until the very last second of their classes too, and Snape, of course, would no sooner let them play games in class than adopt Harry. Staring nastily around at them all, he informed them that he would be testing them on poison antidotes during the last lesson of the term. He found it hard to concentrate on Snape’s Potions test, and consequently forgot to add the key ingredient — a bezoar — meaning that he received bottom marks... Snape handed Dumbledore a small glass bottle of completely clear liquid: the Veritaserum with which he had threatened Harry in class.

Order of the Phoenix Ron says "Poisonous toadstools don’t change their spots" when discussing Snape, his general personality, and whether Snape ever truly stopped working for Voldemort (echoes leopards never change their spots/Moody's "spots that don't come off" in GoF); Snape discusses the use of Veritaserum, poison, and venom on Harry with Umbridge, and expresses his 'sympathy' (read: apparent desire) to use poison on Harry; when advising Harry to continue Potions during his careers discussion, McGonagall said that poisons and antidotes were essential study for Aurors, and that Snape would not accept students below an Outstanding

“I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell me the truth!” “I have already told you,” said Snape smoothly, “that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter — and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did — I cannot help you. The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling…” “...Then you ought to do Charms, always useful, and Potions. Yes, Potter, Potions,” she added, with the merest flicker of a smile. “Poisons and antidotes are essential study for Aurors. And I must tell you that Professor Snape absolutely refuses to take students who get anything other than ‘Outstanding’ in their O.W.L.s, so — ”

Half-Blood Prince The Prince inherently understood Golpalott’s Third Law on antidotes to poisons, and then the plot revisits the bezoar from PS both as a means of helping Harry in class but also to save Ron.

“You sure the Prince hasn’t got any tips?” Ron muttered to Harry. Harry pulled out his trusty copy of Advanced Potion-Making and turned to the chapter on antidotes. There was Golpalott’s Third Law, stated word for word as Hermione had recited it, but not a single illuminating note in the Prince’s hand to explain what it meant. Apparently the Prince, like Hermione, had had no difficulty understanding it. And there it was, scrawled right across a long list of antidotes: Just shove a bezoar down their throats. Harry stared at these words for a moment. Hadn’t he once, long ago, heard of bezoars? Hadn’t Snape mentioned them in their first-ever Potions lesson? “A stone taken from the stomach of a goat, which will protect from most poisons.” It was not an answer to the Golpalott problem, and had Snape still been their teacher, Harry would not have dared do it... He hurtled back to Ron’s side, wrenched open his jaw, and thrust the bezoar into his mouth.

Not rooted in reality at all but a theory I once came across that I cradle like a fascinating little animal that I just can't stop looking at, is that Snape and Dumbledore somehow switch bodies before 'Dumbledore' takes Harry to the cave, and then switch back in time for Dumbledore to actually die at Snape's hand.

And, of course, the (separate but works here too) theory that back as a 'real' Death Eater, Snape helped Voldemort with the emerald potion that was already killing Dumbledore when Snape finished the job.

Deathly Hallows More tenuously, Aberforth asks "where will you lot traffick potions and poisons when my pub’s closed down", and it was the Hog's Head where Snape was lurking when he overheard the prophecy - whether that was as part of his role as spy/he was applying for a job like Trelawney said, or because he was an opportunist with a sideline in poisons - I enjoy both ideas).

Not just poison: Snape and venom

The series also mixes up (or at least uses interchangeably at times) venom and poison; although to a lesser extent associated with venom, Snape does have his moments where he is associated with venom - ultimately, of course, his final moments are spent under the influence of Nagini's.

Snape is described as shooting Harry (and Ron) "a look of pure venom" in CoS; he sets an essay on antivenoms in OotP; "Harry’s anger at Snape continued to pound through his veins like venom" during Occlumency lessons in OotP; "The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling" says Snape, two books before attempting to find a way to tell the truth no matter how fast-acting Nagini's venom is; when Harry sees Arthur dying of Nagini's bite, it is Snape who has to teach Harry Occlumency to prevent such a thing from happening again, and Snape who ultimately dies of the same attack - but he does not, due to timing (mid-Battle and all) or ill will receive the same rush from the entire Order to attempt to save him, and despite all of his knowledge of poisons and venoms and antidotes, also does not save himself - despite Slughorn being described as carrying around antidotes to things like Veritaserum on the off chance that Dumbledore tries to get a memory out of him, so carrying antidotes for a well-prepared and cunning Slytherin of a certain level of skill is not unheard of, or impossible.

[hermitw]

I'm going to be as vague as possible here, with only implied csa, heavier content warning for all the linked posts.

A while ago I was thinking about how Mai and Sukuna seemed quite similar. Secretly very hurt people who put on this edgelord show and pretend not to care or feel.

Since reading these posts about Mai, it got me thinking even more like. The triggers that caused sukuna and Mai to act in ways that made them unloveable characters.

Like when Nobara said "trouble sleeping? You've got open pores", I think that hit a nerve because Mai probably had insomnia and recurring nightmares. Her family would have scapegoated the victim (which is really common irl - somehow it's more shameful to acknowledge a predator in the family than it is to defend them).

And Sukuna with Mimiko - that always drove me insane. It made me resent sukuna for a long time, but gradually I grew this fixation to understand him. Anyway, I'd said before that it was feeling manipulated and told what to do that triggered Sukuna - but I don't think that's it.

Mimiko was terrified of him. They both were. But God, when else have we seen someone's head explode like that? Haruta got one slice. Nanako got cubed. Even the fingie curse that was afraid of Sukuna and attacked him instead of joining forces - that thing got five slices (and he intended for three).

Whatever reactions people had to Sukuna when he lived as a human (and in his current life), whether he was deified or demonized or enslaved, he was seen as a threat to restrain, he was an object of fear. I think the twins' fear of Sukuna hit a nerve.

The fingie curse wasn't trying to use Sukuna - it directly attacked him. But to be feared and told what to do, I think that mix really hit some unresolved trauma.

Edit to add:

another idea I forgot to include is that Sukuna would have known the twins were asking sukuna to kill kenjaku. I think part of him really, really wants to, but due to a pact or something he can't, and that also made him feel helpless. (tbh I don't totally understand this - kenjaku seems to have a covercive relationship with the reincarnated sorcerers. Not only are they taking over someone else's body without being invited to - but they seem rly uncomfortable with him. And it's like they try to get past that... But at the end of the Shibuya arc, Kenjaku said that the pacts he made w those sorcerers were voided when he changed bodies. I assume that, even someone who makes pacts often (like Sukuna) doesn't know that they become nullified when kenjaku changes bodies (how could they know? No one else does that). Or maybe they are only canceled on Kenjaku's end, but the other sorcerers might still face consequences (which I find less believable, as their old bodies are also gone, though maybe eating themselves was also a way to retain that bond).

If you want a deeper read w even more context (especially on sukuna), here's a link. (this post got me thinking so much, half of my drafts are in reaction to it probably)

[userchai]

Hello!!

Ummm, where do i start?

First of all, thanks a lot, you're the only blog that it's been popping in my fyp that is talking about this whole situation with so much care and assertiveness.

Second, since yesterday night I've been feeling so overwhelmed with this Joe&Doja situation, and this ask is more like a personal release than other thing, so bare with me:

I never liked this Fandom, or any fandom because of the level of toxicity that they carried. Not all fans are toxic, but the ones that do not know the meaning of boundaries are.

With that said, i think a lot of people are mixing Eddie as a character and Joe as a person and actor.

Eddie is not real, but it had a lot of impact in a lot of people. And I'm not talking only of the character and story told in the series, I'm including the character made up in this app and other ones. The character tha was created under the whole collection of headcanons, canon and bunch of stories. And i think, with all my heart that not one will ever have the same description of Eddie as a character, because each one of us has a different perspective of Eddie, and that is okay. He does not exist, HE IS NOT REAL!!!

On the other hand, Joe is real, and a human being with goods and flaws. We don't know him. His PR team barely keep his IG active. And unfortunately he's been facing this issue, this harassment since the air of season 4 (with the readhead, with one of the haim sisters, etc). And it's sad to think that there are people out there not able to let alone their celebrity crush because they don't like their partner, or significant other (and I'm talking beyond if that person is problematic or not, because, I'm repeating myself, we don't know either of them).

I will not omitt the feeling of heartbreak I've been feeling, and i think most of his fandom have been feeling, I'd like to think. But if I'm honest, I've been there some many times with a million of other celebrities crushes that i know, in a few months, everyone will be able to not care whether he is with her, of if she is with he. Like, look back to 2015, Chris Evans was the bachelor of the season, and he started dating Jenny Stale (and she got a lot of blacklash for that), and now he is a married man to Alba Baptista and no one died.

Joe is a grown ass fuck up man and Doja as well. If they want to date each other, we should not care. If the want to have PDA, we should not care. If they are FwB, we should not care.

What we should do care is on our own business, and let the world turn, and people ALONEEEE!!

Thanks for listening my Ted Talk

thank you for saying this! I think everyone needs to separate eddie away from this because like you said he is just a character and things will calm down again.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 34

Warnings: 18+readersonly, teasing, threats of brat taming

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

Elizabeth, Jessie, Katherine, Pietro, Vision, and Hogun all got married three weeks later. It was a beautiful ceremony where Jessie wore silver, Katherine wore light pink, and Elizabeth wore white. Pietro wore silver as well, Vision was in human form wearing red, and Hogun was wearing a deep blue lined with black and silver.

The bonding ceremony was beautiful, though shorter than your own. In the end, Elizabeth, Pietro, Vision, and Hogun got a wave symbol for their soulmate bond. Jessie and Pietro were a simple flower while Katherine and Pietro got sun symbols.

Eventually they all dispersed after the ceremony- Wanda included.

Time seemed to pass afterwards. They still stayed with you, even after the wedding, as they were preparing to buy their own house- without Tony's help. They had decided that they would be moving to Florida, and by the time our children were born, they would be leaving.

It was only a month after the wedding that both Elizabeth and Jessie got pregnant. Jessie was obviously carrying Pietro's kid, but Thor let the others know that Elizabeth was carrying Hogun's child.

Elizabeth was ecstatic. I mean, they all were. Everyone was happy and everything was great.

Nothing had changed in your family dynamic- which was fantastic. You were still rotating through everyone, though you did spend just a bit more time with Fury, T'Challa, and Bucky.

Bucky had some fears about being a child, especially with his soldier serum coursing through his veins. And though he had been cured of being the winter soldier a long time ago, there was still a part of him that feared it might come back. That he might relapse. That his metal arm was a danger to any child that we had.

A few sweet, honest words and he was settled back down though. Shuri's surgery had worked and there was possible way for Bucky to become the winter soldier again except by choice. Not to mention, it had been a few years since Thanos, so the only bad thing was his nightmares.

As Rhodey and Bucky had predicted, Alpine did have kittens. Tony made sure that F.R.I.D.A.Y. captured Fury's reaction- which had been priceless.

"Guess what?" Bucky had asked, walking into the kitchen, holding Mini Loki.

"What?" Fury grunted over his cup of coffee, eyeing Mini Loki with dislike while Maria rubbed his shoulder soothingly next to him.

"Alpine had kittens! Isn't that wonderful!"

Fury spit his coffee out. "Maria, we need to get out of this house! There's um- a shopping center that just opened up and I want you to um, take a look at it!"

He grabbed her hand, slamming the cup of coffee down and basically ran the two of them out of the house.

Tony laughed once Fury exited. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., please send that to my email and make sure to save that in my favorite videos. I'd like to post it to YouTube later."

"He will kill you." Coulson and Steve said together, not bothering to look up from the breakfast table.

The months were slow but steady. Around the fifth month, you were quite large. Stephen became your main caregiver, just as he had a lot more experience in the medical field with this sort of thing. Not that he had ever been a birth doctor, but he had gone through medical school and knew more than the others.

Of course, none of this stopped the others from having sex with you. In fact, you even seemed hornier just by being pregnant. And they were all more than willing to satisfy your needs.

Stacy had her baby. A little boy that her and Jackson named Alexander Drake Portolio. He was a sweet little thing with Stacy's green eyes and Jackson's red hair. It was a strange mix on the little boy with freckles already dotted across his face, but he was cute.

You rolled over, coming face to face with Rhodey as you woke up one morning. "Hey hot mama." He mumbled sleepily, running his hand through your hair.

"Hi Sugar." You smiled, closing your eyes again to rest your head on his chest. It was hard to lay on your side anymore- especially now that you were nearing the nine-month mark.

"How are you feeling about the baby shower today?" James asked, running a hand along you're protruding stomach.

"Nervous. I can't wait to know what the genders of the babies are though." You said. "I wonder what Elizabeth will do with the cake, since its' triplets."

"Something Harry Potter themed probably." James joked and you laughed. "How about a bath this morning?"

"That sounds good." You said, sitting up while James slipped from the bed, running a hand over his hair as he made his way to the bathroom, flipping on lights. You could hear the water running in the bath while you stretched your arms above your head.

You picked up the glass of slightly stagnant water from last night, drinking the rest as your throat was still a bit sore.

"It's ready Hot mama." Rhodey said, coming over to help you to your feet. He grinned down at you, brushing your lips together, which you met with eagerly. He chuckled, pulling away when you let out a needy moan against his tongue. "C'mon, bath. You need to relax."

You didn't want to relax, you wanted to ride him, but you reluctantly let him lead you to the bathroom. He helped you over the bath edge and then helped you into a sitting position before climbing in with you.

"Hair or body first?" He asked, motioning to the shampoos and soaps on the tub edge.

"Hair." You said, scooting forwards some so that he had plenty of room behind you.

You always loved when one of your boys did your hair, especially if it was Fury, Sam, or Stephen. They seemed to have rather magical hands when they did it. Bucky was the only one who didn't want to wash your hair- afraid he'd use to much strength with his metal arm, or that the armor plates would retract and your hair would get stuck between the joints.

He was a bit better with the vibranium arm of course, no joints there, but he was still rather careful.

Rhodey's fingers seemed to almost massage your scalp. You smiled a little, finally relaxing like he wanted you to.

Rhodey grabbed the nozzle, rinsing the soap out of your hair. You conditioned the ends of your hairs, rinsing that away, while Rhodey grabbed a blue bar of Dove soap, rubbing soothing circles all over your body.

"James." You mumbled as he finished washing his own body.

"Damn Y/N." Rhodey muttered, a small smile on his face. "Last night wasn't enough?"

"It's never enough with anyone." You grumbled, being a slight brat. "I don't know why I'm so horny all the time."

Rhodey just chuckled, helping you to your feet again and handing you a towel to dry off. "We have to get ready for the baby shower. Later all your needs will be satisfied."

You grumbled a little, but didn't argue because- god damnit- he was right.

You dressed in a F/C maternity dress with flat, sturdy white sneakers for support. Wanda helped you pull back your hair, tying it up in an elegant knot with white ribbon.

"Thanks Wanda." You said with a smile.

"No problem Y/N." Wanda said, fixing up her own hair now while you started on the makeup.

"Has Elizabeth finished the cake yet? Cause none of us are allowed downstairs till she has." You said.

"She's putting the finishing touches to it right now." Wanda said. "She said she'd text when she sticks it in the fridge."

"How are you feeling about the upcoming move to Florida?" You asked. They'd decided they wait. Give birth here, and then that was when they would move.

"I'm kind've excited." Wanda said sincerely. "It will be far away from you guys, but its' not as far, especially with magical portals, no?"

You smiled, "Very true."

Wanda's phone lit up with a text from Elizabeth giving us the all clear. Rhodey knocked on the door to let us know that he was heading downstairs.

"Is everyone else here?" You asked.

"Nat and Bruce are the only ones left to show up." Wanda said. "Even the Guardians got here quicker than them. But," She smirked, "they probably had a late night."

You giggled, "Very true."

Oh right! The Supreme Court had made some changes to the law. Those medically unable-like Nat and the widows, or Vision- were not required to have children. The rules had lightened up a bit- including the penalty for not having enough children- and things were a bit more relaxed now.

You got up, leaving the bedroom with Wanda. Wanda went down the hall and down a set of stairs that led to the guest wing, while you took the main staircase to the kitchen.

Elizabeth looked tired, like she had been up for hours. Her own baby bump was rather large, though nowhere near as big as yours.

"Morning Y/N!" She said cheerfully enough, setting out a plate of eggs, sausage, and a bowl of fruit in it. A small piece of avocado was on your plate as well, making you wrinkle your nose.

"Oi!" Elizabeth scolded, pointing the spoon at you. "I hate avocado too but you are carrying three babies! Eat healthy!"

You let out an exaggerated sigh, eating the nasty green vegetable- fruit whatever- first, rinsing the nasty taste out with a mixture of milk and delicious sausage.

"What time is it?" You questioned Clint next to you.

"Ten in the afternoon. The official baby shower starts at twelve though."

"Where is everyone?"

"Peter and Gamora are showing their daughter around town. Nebula and Kraglin might be with them, although I don't know where the tree and raccoon are." Clint said with a shrug before eating more of his oatmeal. "Thor is probably with them. Bucky is probably wherever the racoon is not."

"He keeps trying to buy my arm." Bucky grunted, coming into the kitchen. He was wearing a leather jacket and a glove was covering his metal hand.

You hid your smile as Bucky grabbed a bowl of apple jacks to eat, leaning against the kitchen counter with his back to the wall so that Rocket couldn't sneak up on him. His eyes continuously roved the kitchen.

"Hey T!" You called over to T'Challa, "Does Shuri still have Bucky's old metal arm?"

"It is possible, why?" T'Challa questioned, confusion written all over his face.

"To give to Rocket." You said with a shrug and a grin. "Might get him away from Bucky's arm he's using now."

"Yes, give that to him." Bucky groaned. "Please!"

"I will let Shuri know." T'Challa said with a bit of a smile.

"You locked up all of the guns, right?" Clint asked everyone in the room, "Cause Rocket will take whatever guns he can get."

"Shit!" Tony jumped up from the table, "My lab!"

He raced down the hallway towards his lab.

"Yeah, Rocket would definitely pillage that." Clint smirked.

"Yes, Steve, Sam, and I locked everyone's guns up safely." Bucky grunted.

"I don't think that would stop him." Loki deadpanned at the table.

The breakfast table banter continued while Elizabeth slaved away at the stove, dishing out plates and plates of food, though you didn't actually ever see her eat anything herself.

"Tony should start paying you." You smirked as Elizabeth set another bowl of eggs in front of us, the boys immediately digging in, though you could've sworn that they'd already had three plates of food.

She just shrugged, a small smile on her face. You knew she really didn't mind. This was exactly what Elizabeth wanted in life. A peaceful life where she cared for her husbands and children. This was just a practice for her- and she was damn good at it. She would be a fantastic mother you were sure.

Twelve o'clock came sooner than expected and things were moved outside, under a large canopy. The Guardians were back. Bucky sat tensely by your side while Rocket sat on the other side of the table, his eyes never leaving Bucky.

"Can I stun him?" Bucky muttered under his breath.

"No." You muttered back, smirking. You knew that he and rocket had actually made a really good duo back during the war. Unfortunately, Rocket had grown an obsession over his arm and it was all he could think about now.

Bucky sunk down in his chair while Steve took a seat next to him, hiding the smile on his face.

"It's not funny punk." Bucky gritted out of his teeth.

"I didn't say it was." Steve said mildly.

"How are you, my Nkosazana?" T'Challa asked, coming up behind you to hug you from behind. He rested his hands on your stomach, feeling the babies kicking inside. "They are extremely active today."

"They've been active all week." You said with a little laugh. "They want out."

"Well Stark did just finish off their rooms." Fury said, sitting on the other side of you. Maria and Coulson sat down on the other side of him, both of them in deep conversation about something.

"Really?" You asked, surprised. "Everything? Without even knowing their genders?"

"Well, he did say that the probability of them being all girls or all boys were very slim so he made two rooms up that could fit two of both genders in them, technically more, but he's prepared." Fury smirked.

Elizabeth brought out the cake, setting in front of you, winking. "It is a bit. . . unconventional, I admit."

You couldn't see anything wrong with the cake. There was a plain, white frosting on the outside of it, not unlike the frosting that had been layered on Steve's cake. The decorations on top were very simple, just a black eyepatch, a small black cat, and a red star.

Elizabeth cut the cake directly down the middle, sliding the two pieces aside. They looked liked two halves of a different cake. On one side, there was a double layer of chocolate cake, and blue frosting in between each chocolate layer. On the other side, it was only layered once, white cake and pink frosting.

Everyone looked at Elizabeth, who was blushing slightly. She pointed the knife at the chocolate and blue. "Fury and T'Challa are having boys." She turned the knife towards the vanilla, "Bucky is having a girl."

You started to laugh, realizing the colours of the chocolate were the skin tones of your boys and the frosting was the gender of the children.

"So, remember, when you do her cake, you have to make the cake yellow." Sam whispered in my ear, making me laugh even harder.

It was all light humor and then the cake was passed around. Presents were given to the four of you- well really your babies.

Once the baby shower was finally over- about six hours later- and the party was cleaned up, you couldn't wait to get someone to take you upstairs. You had been badgering the others for a long time.

"You know what Stevie is?" Bucky asked darkly in your ear, arms wrapped tightly just above the baby bump. "He's Captain America, he's the golden boy. He's an agent, a killer, a lover, a husband, and he'll be a father. But I swear above everything else doll, Stevie is a brat tamer."

Steve and Sam were the only ones who overheard this, cracking smiles. Steve winked at you and you whimpered, feeling the need to be filled intensity with Bucky's last words and Steve's just utter hotness.

"Please." You whimpered, not even caring how many people were surrounding you.

"Y/N!" Tony shouted, running over to you, eyes bright. You nearly started crying on the spot. "C'mon, I have something I want to show you beautiful."

You let him lead you upstairs and down the unused hallway where he opened up the doors to reveal one of the bedrooms.

"Whoa." You said, horny thoughts banished to the back of your mind. "Tony this is-"

"I want our little girl to have the best." He said, smiling over his shoulder at you. "I can already just imagine her in here. Sleeping under there with her stuffed animals. I can picture you sitting next to her, reading her bedtime stories. I can imagine her during the day, running up those stairs and squealing as she slides down the slide. Of course, she's in the crib for now-" He pointed to a lovely, same shaded pink and white crib that was pushed up against the wall.

Everything was a rather overwhelming pink colour, admittedly. But it was also adorable and very princess like.

"I do need to fix the flooring a bit." Tony admitted, "More carpets. I don't want her running on this hard floor until she's a bit older."

You loved how Tony was calling her his daughter, even though she was biologically Bucky's. You were glad that he was seeing them with any difference of his kids.

"I love you Bubba." You mumbled, kissing Tony's cheek.

He chuckled, "You haven't even seen the boys room yet."

You laughed, taking his hand and let him guide you to the boys room. Upon opening the door, you gaped.

It was definitely larger than the girls room. But at the same time, it felt much smaller as there wasn't as much open space as the girls' room.

It looked as though there was a tree growing in the room, with a house on it. There was a ladder that would take them up and down the inside of the tree. The house opened up to show there was one small bed in there, perfect for a kid up until perhaps the age of 12 or 13, depending on how tall he was.

There were rope bridges on either side, that led out into the bedroom. Tunnels connected beds to other beds, while the bridges led to these beds. There were also two hammocks that were hanging near the tree in case they wanted to sit down and read.

There was a large bookcase as well, already stocked with little kids picture books on one side of the room. Behind the beds was what seemed to be a more open area, with large chairs and couches. A TV was there- although you couldn't see a remote. There were more toys over here with boxes full of huge lego blocks and wooden blocks. Small toy cars and those foam mats that you had to put together like puzzle pieces.

There were also toys for a girl, and you realized now that there was a set of double doors that connected the girls room to the boys. And another door that led to the bathroom.

The biggest feature was another tree house, that was more like a club house. It was attached to the ceiling, the only access was a rock wall, as well as another ladder. A blue slide came down the other side.

There was a window seat with pictures that you hadn't looked at yet, as well as a small rocking horse. Your kids would never want anything, that was for sure.

"What do you think?" Tony asked, gesturing around.

You just gaped, taking in everything. "I'm thinking, 'where was this when I was a kid'."

Tony chuckled.

You looked at the pictures by the window seat and started to laugh, "I love these!"

They were different superheroes with positive phrases on them. Although, it was a bit disconcerting to see a DC character among your Marvel husbands- and the kid of course. Not to mention an X-man.

"Although," You finally said, taking a look around the room, "There's no crib."

"Oh right." Tony said, leading you out of that room.

"There's another room?" You asked with surprise.

"Yep!" Tony said, "Don't worry though, this is the simple nursery."

He opened a door opposite the other two rooms and led you inside. True to his word, it was much simpler, and definitely more calming than the other rooms.

It was mostly white, though there was some black and light blues tossed in there. There was a love seat for you to sit on, lots of pillows, carpets, blankets, and rugs. There were quite a few stuffed animals everywhere as well, along with a few picture books.

It was a much smaller room, probably only a quarter of the boys room. It was divided into two half- rooms. One was obviously where you would play with the kids, and the other was where they would lay down to take a nap. There was also a light, wood changing table in the back corner, right near the black crib. There was a white fringe crib mobile above it. A rocking horse to the side.

"Oh Tony. . ." You mumbled, leaning into his side. "I love it. I love all of it. Thank you."

Tony kissed the side of your head, "I can't wait for the kids to come. I can't wait to have even more kids, although I am sorry that you're in pain so often."

You smiled as the two of you left the bedrooms. Stephen was walking down the hall, his hands in his jean pockets. "There you two are."

"Have you seen the bedrooms?" You asked in excitement.

Stephen smiled a little, "I have. Was he to overboard?"

"No, she wants one too." Tony said, winking at you.

You laughed, "I wouldn't have minded having either bedroom when I was growing up. They both seem so fun. Although I will want to keep an eye out on the kids when they move into the jungle room."

Tony nodded, "Don't worry, we can always alter it to make it safer till they're older."

Suddenly, you felt the slightest tickle of wetness sliding down your leg. You blinked.

'Did my water just break?'

You didn't voice it aloud, afraid that you might be wrong. It certainly wasn't how they described in the books with your water splashing to the floor, spraying everyone. It was just a trickle.

"I'll be right back." You said with a smile. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"Alright, do you want to come back to our room when you're done?" Stephen asked, wrapping his arms around Tony.

You smiled, "Naturally."

Tony smirked, nudging Stephen in the ribs before you waddled upstairs to your own room.

Though you rarely slept in here, there was a calm ambience to your room. It was a very simple room, not a lot of stuff as most of your things were scattered in the several other rooms you spent your time in.

You pulled your pants and knickers down in the bathroom, trying to see if there was any clear sign that your water had broken.

Unable to tell, you pulled out your phone, searching how you could figure it out.

Seeing a suggestion, you pulled on a pair of clean knickers and laid down on your bed, setting a timer for thirty minutes. However, you could literally feel the wetness pooling in your knickers and you didn't even need to wait thirty minutes before you knew- your water had broken.

A strange nervousness, yet excitement, seemed to build up in your core. You also felt strangely calm at the same time.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y." You said. "Can you please alert Nick, T'Challa, and Bucky that my water has broken?"

"Yes Miss Marvel." F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied.

You stayed laying there, in wait.

And then you heard a yell from downstairs that sounded like it was from Bucky.

[ishouldbedoinghw]

You Can't Erase Me

One Piece fanfic, part 6

Previous parts are in my pinned masterlist.

A woman enslaved by the celestial dragons is found by a man with red hair. Angst and comedy ensues.

A/N: This story will follow the canon loosely; some events will stay the same, others will be edited for the plot. The timing of events will also be slightly edited from canon so that certain characters are included. The main character is an OC of mine and in her mid-20s. Yes this is important. Character design will likely come soon.

TW: slavery, human trafficking, discussion of trauma, general angst, mention of nudity but it isn't sexual, alcohol consumption, Shanks

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I'm not sure what color hair I have. At first I think it's pink, then red, then a purple. I can't help but feel as if I've seen the color somewhere, but I couldn't remember what it's called.

I lean in closer to the mirror, my nose almost brushing the cold surface. My skin is a dull shade of chestnut, and freckles are spattered over the bridge of my nose, which seemed a little too big for my face. My eyes are wide and sunken into my skull, the skin around them a dark purple. I couldn't decide whether or not I liked the color of my irises, the bright yellow-green reminding me of bugs.

I trace my fingers around my neck. It's paler than the rest of my skin, and rough to the touch. Every direction I twisted my head, it puckered and wrinkled, as if it was protesting against being stretched.

Seeing myself and knowing my name made me feel alive.

I was Jett. I was real.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Girlie, you done?" Hongo called.

I hurredly tugged on the blue shirt and baggy shorts Shanks had given me before pulling open the door. Hongo stood there with an older man with long gray hair pulled into a ponytail. Somehow he seemed taller than even Shanks, and he barely fit in the bathroom doorway.

"This is Benn Beckman, he'll bring you onto the deck if you want. Some jackass got himself stabbed in a bar, I'll change your bandage later." Hongo disappeared down the hallway, leaving me to hold onto Benn's outstretched arm.

"I'm assuming Shanks gave you that to wear," Benn remarked as he led me down the hall opposite the direction Hongo went.

"Um- yeah."

He chuckled. "I'll apologize for him, lass, because he probably won't."

I really hadn't thought about how the clothing looked, but when I peered down to study my shorts I grimaced - they were heinous.

"Don't sweat it, lass, we won't make you look like a Shanks clone for too long."

He paused in front of a door, turning to look down at me with his hand on the latch.

"Just a fair warning, some of the crew's back, and-"

The door was snatched open, and Benn moved his hand to grip the one I had curled around the crook of his elbow.

What was it with this crew and just barging in places?

A blonde, dark-skinned man wearing a headband that said 'YASOPP' was leaning against the now-open door. He didn't do much to block the sunlight pouring in, and I had to massage my temples and blink away the white spots dancing in my vision before I could even look outside.

"Damn, Benn got to the lovely gal first," the man, who presumably was the Yasopp Hongo often complained about, drawled. I almost laughed in his face, knowing damn well I looked like hell and not a touch "lovely."

"Don't be a nuisance, Yasopp," said Benn.

Yasopp clutched his chest dramatically and pretended to weep, throwing an arm over his face. "You wound me, Bennjamin. I'm nothing but kind and compassionate to you-"

"Shove that horseshit up someone else's ass," Benn grunted, "Preferably your own."

I couldn't help but giggle, catching the two men's attention. Benn sighed, rummaging for something in his coat pocket before leading me out the door.

The sea had to be the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Benn led me over to the railing along the side of the ship, careful to keep me steady over any damp spots. Letting go of his arm, I leaned over the railing as far as my nerves would let me.

Light danced over the little chopping waves that pattered against the ship, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that almost hurt my eyes to look at. Bright turquoise faded into a deep sapphire as it stretched into the horizon. My vision blurred off into the distance, but the vast nothingness that laid before me was almost haunting. I wondered what it would be like to soar on wings above it, to feel lost in the sky surrounded by nothing but blue.

The gentle flick of a lighter drew my attention, and I turned to see Benn taking a long drag from a cigarette, the end burning a bright amber. He let out a heavy breath, smoke spilling from his lips. My eyes watered, a bit, and I struggled not to cough as I tried scooching away.

"Shit, sorry, lass," he says, his face turned in the opposite direction.

I faced the water again, squinting to see how far my vision could reach.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Benn grunts, a slight smile on his face. "It never seems to end."

"Has anyone seen all of it?"

If he's surprised by my question, he doesn't show it. "One man has, but that's a story Shanks knows more about than I do." He grimaces, then mutters, "Maybe you shouldn't ask him, he might gab on about the damn clown-"

"Benn, if you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'm going to shoot your kneecaps." Yasopp's voice was chilling compared to the easy tone he had earlier, and his expression was downright murderous.

"I guess Shanks is on his way back, then," said Benn, undisturbed. "Please never mention clowns or bugs around him, lass, you'd be signing us up for torture."

"A sick and unusual punishment, indeed," said Yasopp somberly.

Benn, having finished his cigarette, steps toward me. "Guess we'd better introduce you to some of the crew."

"Although I'm afraid you've already met the most handsome and awesome member," Yasopp cuts in, dramatically flexing his arms.

"Don't you have other shit to do?"

"Such a dirty mouth around a lady, Benn! I would never-" and he faded off, still babbling as he disappeared below deck.

Benn let out a sigh, rummaged in his pocket again, then paused before thinking better of it. "Alright, lass, in case no one's told you yet, welcome to the Red Force, ship of the Red-Haired pirates."

I almost pointed out that Shanks was the only one with red hair that I'd seen, but decided to keep my mouth shut.

More of the crew started appearing here and there, carrying various crates and bags of things, though I couldn't make my vision focus enough to see. I had to squint to make out some of the various crew members Benn started pointing out, but most of them seemed so happy to be introduced to me that I couldn't bring myself to say I couldn't see most of them from where we were.

What I was able to notice, however, was how odd some of their names were. Rockstar? Limejuice? Bonk Punch? Building Snake? What in the actual hell? Benn gave no indication that these were just nicknames, either, and didn't acknowledge how strange they sounded.

Another thing I noticed was how big everyone was. I thought Benn would be the tallest man I'd ever seen, but Building Snake - damn, it felt stupid to refer to anyone like that - was basically a giant. Despite everyone's daunting appearance, however, everyone seemed good-natured and cheerful - with the exception of Limejuice, who seemed more quiet and serious, though still polite.

Gab won me over almost immediately, with his sweet and bashful demeanor contrasting his fearsome appearance. As one of the few members I actually saw up close, I was able to see just how much he looked like a lion with his long, wild hair and sharp teeth. He didn't say much, but he did give me a timid smile before scurrying off, evidently not for conversation with strangers. I couldn't blame him. I was leaned over the railing again, watching the water as the sun started to dip when Hongo shouted for me.

"Jett! Let me change up your bandage before we eat." I didn't think I'd ever get tired of hearing other people say my name. It made me feel less like some poor, weak stray that had turned up and more like a person.

As soon as I was wrapped back up, my back stinging slightly, Hongo was pushing a cane in my hands, telling me I needed to start walking longer distances on my own. While it was exhausting, I had to admit it was liberating to be able to move around independently, with no grumpy pirate to lead me around.

I'd just made my way back out onto the deck when i heard a loud, sharp whoop. The men seemed unfazed by it, continuing to load up- whatever pirates loaded up. Food? Water? Weapons, maybe?

It wasn't until Shanks made it up onto the deck that I figured out who it was. I was right - Shanks was the only crew member with red hair, and I was able to decipher him from much farther away than the others. He was carrying something large and round on his shoulder, and as he drew closer, I could see the wide grin on his face.

"We're celebratin' tonight, boys, I got my hands on the good stuff!" he shouted, all but slamming down what looked to be a barrel from his shoulder to the floor.

"We've got a new crewmate to welcome!"

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It was the first time since arriving that I had eaten with the crew. We were all out on the deck stuffing ourselves, and I was still buzzing from what Shanks had said earlier.

Crewmate.

Did they like me that much? Everyone seemed so happy that I was here, it was unreal. They didn't even know who the hell I was- although I didn't exactly know that either.

All night, I'd received choruses of "Oi, lass," or "Aye, miss," or the occasional "Need more food, little lady?"

The last one tended to come from the ship's cook, Lucky Roux, who was about as wide as he was tall. He always seemed to be knawing on a meat rack, a wide smile across his face. Out of all the crewmates I'd met, he was the sweetest; though if he was a little more outgoing, Gab could certainly give him a run for his money. Roux also seemed hellbent on making my stomach explode; any time I finished something on my plate, we was shoveling me more.

Benn sat beside me, his manners probably as proper as any pirate's could be. Shanks sat opposite him, having finished eating a while ago and was continuously chugging a foul-smelling liquid that Hongo had forbidden from me. He'd said that it would react badly with the medicine I was on; he also looked like he'd murder everyone on the ship if I didn't listen to him.

It seemed like everyone was drinking the stuff - liquor, I thought, after watching Shanks's cheeks flush and and most of the crew get a little less precise with their movements. Benn and Hongo were the only ones aside from me staying sober, and I was grateful for it. Hongo was in and out, making sure I was eating the right things then disappearing back into the cabin.

"He's cleaning," Benn grunted, fiddling with an unlit cigarette.

"Honey?" Shanks piped in, "the man's obsessed, I swear."

"Someone's got to be clean on this ship, and I know it won't be you, Captain," Benn snapped.

"What's up your ass, Benn, you've been a dick all night," Shanks giggled, "oh my god, maybe it's dic-"

"He hasn't had his smokes today," Yasopp interrupted, swaying slightly with an arm around Lucky Roux's shoulders.

Benn just grunted, his hand twitching.

I thought back to earlier that day, when he'd looked so guilty at making me cough. Did he stop because of me?

"Um- Benn- if it's because of me," I hesitated before continuing, "I don't mind if you smoke."

Shanks gasped dramatically, saying, "She does speak-"

"Shut it, you arse. Don't be rude," Benn snapped. He turned to me, and in a gentler tone he said, "I'll be fine, lass, don't want to spoil your lungs."

"I'm not a child, Benn, I'll be fine if you go somewhere else to smoke," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

If I'd pissed him off, he didn't show it; he just squeezed my shoulder, muttered an "alright then," and walked off.

Shanks absolutely cackled at this interaction, having no shame in teasing his first mate. "Spooky, I wish you could see well enough to look at his face right now." Genuine tears rolled down his cheeks, and he sloppily wiped them away.

With the absence of Benn, Yasopp and Lucky Roux had fixed themselves around me, snickering at each other.

"So, Jett," Yasopp started, "how old are you, if you aren't a kid."

I had to think for a moment. In truth, I had no idea how I knew I wasn't a kid. How young did I think I kid was, anyway? Eighteen? Twenty? Was I older than that?

"I- I'm not sure," I admitted, and Yasopp stiffened a bit.

"Amnesia that bad, huh?" he jokes lamely.

"I WISH THAT I COULD WAKE UP WITH AMNESIA-" Shanks's singing was awful, and the crew seemed to share that opinion, Yasopp grimacing and Lucky Roux's smile faltering.

"Shanks-" someone started to say before I interrupted.

"You're going to make me more deaf than I already am." It was quiet, but Shanks caught it, and he guffawed before his face settled into a pout.

"I'll have you know I'm a terrific singer, Spooky, you lot just have no taste."

Yasopp scoffed, before covering it with a cough that made Roux chuckle.

"The lady's got a bit of a mouth on 'er, even if she is quiet," Yasopp slung an arm around me, his blonde dreads brushing my shoulder.

-------

The night wore on, and although I was exhausted, and Benn had suggested more than once that I should probably be asleep, I found myself captivated by how the crew interacted with each other. They laughed and joked around each other, and everyone was happy to be there. A few of them seemed to have partied to hard - Shanks being one of them - and were either vomiting into the ocean or passed out.

Somehow, Shanks's head had ended up in my lap, and Yasopp and Roux were sitting across from us. Benn was constantly smoking a small ways from us, something that worried me until Yasopp assured me it was completely normal "Benn behavior".

"Ssssshhhpooookyyyyyy," Shanks slurred from my lap, and I awkwardly patted his head.

"Hm?" I'd gotten more confident in my voice as the night had worn on, saying a few more words at a time, and responding more often.

"Benn said - hic - Benn said the shorts I gave you were uglyyyy," he whined.

"Well- I- yeah," I said, looking at the bright purple stripes that adorned said shorts. "But thanks for letting me wear them."

The redhead shifted to face me, grinning. "Don' worry Shpook, we'll get you some woman clothes sometime."

I hummed a minute, looking away from him.

"Shanks," I finally said, gazing out over the dark where the ocean should be.

"Hrrngh," he grunted.

"Why are you letting me stay here?"

----------

Shanks POV

I looked at her, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. I'd seen the look on her face countless times on countless faces. I tried moving to sit up, but glaring white spots danced over my vision, and my head spun. Fuck.

I was way too drunk for this.

The truth was that in the time she'd already been with us, no one had been able to find any record of her existence. No missing person reports, no recent kidnappings - nothing that suggested someone was looking for her. It was Benn that suggested she might've been gone long enough that people had stopped looking for her; and I had a terrible suspicion he was right. It wasn't uncommon for all records of a person who'd been sold as a slave to "mysteriously" disappear, but usually someone would get by with reporting them in the News Coo. Some of the crew, including myself and Benn, had looked through almost a year's worth of any news, reports, or even wanted posters.

Our girl was nowhere to be found. To make things worse, Hongo shared his fear that the amnesia she had could be permanent, even if her vision and hearing improve. So, she couldn't tell us herself.

Maybe I could get Mihawk to look at some Marine record or something.

I shoved those thoughts away. We'd keep looking, but at some point, we'd have to tell her. But for now, I'd do my best to keep her happy.

"Finder's keepers, Spooks," I said finally, pushing myself up and groaning.

She watched as I raised my bottle, and I could've sworn I saw her smile a little when I shouted, "A toast! To our newest crewmate and friend!"

Nothing but cheers erupted from the crew.

[pumpumdemsugah]

Sorry I hate ' essays ' like that

It always just feels like they cobbled together every popular criticism of anything online that specifically mentions women and make sure you say intersectional but nothing that specific.

#Female rage isn't what got Black men lynched but cold hard white supremacy. We need to recentre white supremacy in these discussions. Do you think those people believed what they were actually saying all the time? They didn't give a fuck if that Black man did or didn't do shit. They needed a pretense for horrific torture and murder. They were superior ( apparently) so could do what they wanted. They wanted blood, humiliation and to use fear to control Black people and all parts of the white community were enthusiastic participants to make that happen. The stereotype of the pure innocent white woman doesn't work if there's no Black threat or animalistic opposite. White supremacy was essential.

This can be said about literally any oppression. It doesn't stop it from being a facet of that oppression.

???? Is this a real criticism? Why limit it to women, because this is specifically about women, that's how talking about a group of people works. Did anyone make these claims ? Why are we strawmanning a glib hashtag as if it was some movement that started out deeper than women online mentioning women's rage ? We can't do female rage because other people are oppressed. Sorry you're dumb

I was half hoping maybe this would be an exploration ( no I wasn't lol this was exactly as swallow as I'd expect but let me continue to lie lol) about how and what anger means for women. How anger is weaponised against black women in particular and how useful rage is and isnt for us but I still think Black women should be allowed full and human representation including rage. A criticism I have of #femalerage is it's often women being denigrated first and then she snaps. We don't actually have that many depictions of female psychopathy or killing in cold blood. Women literally do not talk as much as men in film and that's why so many women online have latched onto any crumb of anger, there isn't much out there. A lot of the female characters that are tagged #female rage are murdered, beaten and their violence is never narratively condoned. It ends up reinforcing in the ideal that #female rage is bad because they're punished for it anyway.

A lot of misogyny is centred on the body, and ideas of inferiority around women's body - that's not gender essentialism. That's an important way misogyny functions so can we all stop playing dumb about this? Large and I mean large chunks of Black feminism is very literary about the body but none of you read enough to even know that but you love Black feminist somehow even though a lot of black feminist thought is antithetical to this idea.

Nahh some of you just need to admit your fundamental problem is shit being about women ( or finding this cringe ) because none of these criticisms were particularly deep or argued convincingly. It relied on the audience being exposed to certain talking points before so filling in the blanks to make up for how swallow that was and expecting agreement because the right combination of phrases in buzzwords were mentioned.

I'm uncomfortable when women are mentioned hottake number 975,899

[throwaway-yandere]

The Capo's Soliloquy (Yandere Mafia!Cyno, Tighnari, and Alhaitham/Reader)

A/n: I see that none of you have any self-preservation when it comes some men and I respect that–

CW: hurt/comfort, yandere, mafia, and religious themes. Possible major character deaths. Mentions of human trafficking, su*cide & grief. Please avoid this fic if you're sensitive to the contents mentioned!!! SKIP TO CHAPTER 3 IF YOU NEED TO, THERE'S A BRIEF SUMMARY AT THE BEGINNING!!!

YOUR CHOICES MATTER. People, including both the reader and love interests, can die. Have fun voting!!!

"O Capo! My Capo!": a yandere!mafia au - Chapter 2

Previous || Next

—----

[Morning, 6 AM:]

You woke up at 4 AM, but only mustered up the willpower to get out of bed an hour later. 

Breakfast and utensils were left for you by Inquisitor Cyno (you presume). It's not unusual that a clean fork and knife to be on the table, but there's a note above that says "Not a weapon. It's not knife to harm a room's wallpaper."

The audacity to leave that note after confiscating your gun (that you stole, but that's not important.) Needless to say, the first thing you did was crumble that paper and dump it in the trash. That joke was garbage so you're not listening to his instructions.

You ate your fill, showered, got dressed (in poor quality clothing), and you waited till the clock struck 5:59 AM, and when it did–

The window opened a minute later, just like he said.

Alhaitham peeked from the window incredulously while you begrudgingly applauded his time management skills. The spy pointed at your hands.

"Why do you always have a knife each time we meet?"

"It's a premonition." You answered half-heartedly. It'd be nice if it was. You'd gladly dig a hole in his chest when the day comes.

Alhaitham hummed in amusement, shutting the window behind him. 

You'd believe him if he said he just rolled out of bed—he was dressed in the same clothing as the night before. Although that is most likely their standard uniform, you'd rather he be well-dressed than wear a basic black coat. In his current clothing, Alhaitham resembled a thinly wrapped-up rubbish bag. Candace would probably mistake him for garbage if you did kill him that night.

"What's your answer?"

"I don't like impatient men." You deadpanned.

Alhaitham began mentally preparing for his debate and points to argue about–

[CHOSE: RECRUIT ALHAITHAM]

"But I'll take the risk."

Alhaitham jerked up, not believing what he was hearing.

"You… don't want to look at my resume?–"

You recalled Inquisitor Cyno's words yesterday.

-----

'–I was instructed to look after you until they help you renovate your manor and the panetteria beside it. That is, of course, assuming you still pass the requirements of being Innamorati's Capo.'

-----

You scoffed.

You're dying. You don't have enough time to look for a sacrifice and you can't get the Church's permission unless you are still a Capo. Subsequently, you're not qualified to be a Capo unless you have an underboss.

He will suffice.

Time is a vital resource. And you barely have two years left. It doesn't matter if you just met him last night– his reputation precedes him and you'll do anything to maintain your position.

"You think I'd give you more chances to brag?" You eyed him too narrowly for the situation, making it known that you're not fond of how his mouth prattles. "Listen, do you want the job or not? Because I've received a letter from Beidou last night that she knows a new kid who would gladly take it off your hands–"

"I am honored, Capo."

Alhaitham hurriedly bowed down with a hand on his chest. You looked pleased. That's it. That's the reaction you're after. He clearly enjoys taking his sweet time.

You don't like Alhaitham. You've not spent much time interacting with him, but he reeks of academic pretentiousness.

"Good." You put your hand on top of his head.

"Don't fuck it up."

But you don't want to burden your men with a responsibility they are not prepared to shoulder.

You hired him so someone else would take the fall.

Alhaitham looks like the type who wouldn't take "no" for an answer, so you'll give him what he wants.

Unbeknownst to you, Alhaitham smiled gleefully.

[AFFECTION METER: 15.00%]

He looked up after you pulled your hand away and straightened his (awful) coat. 

"This is not just an afterthought, so tell me this: why did you decide to pursue this occupation?" You said. "Was the Akademiya's pay that low that you'd join the familia?"

He nodded slowly. Even his most minuscule of mannerisms looked annoying.

"I wanted to work with you."

Can't say the same. You want to carve his face off.

"I've been researching Eleazar for 3 years and twenty-six days. In my list, you are the oldest and longest-living patient of this disease."

And he'd join the familia because…?

"I assure you, I care more about your health than what meets the eye."

You don't care. What matters to you most is your familia. You don't want your underboss to be loyal to you– a leader must be loyal to their men.

"–Besides, I think you and I would make great partners–"

Again, has little to do with the actual Innamorati familia.

Your nose scrunched.

There's a word to succinctly describe him, and it's not "annoying."

"–I don't hide the fact that I find you aesthetically pleasing." He said. "You're quick-witted and a very capable leader–"

It's at the tip of your tongue– obnoxious? Troublesome? Obsses–

"–My coworker, Aryabhata also agrees that your face is an epitome of Divina Proportione, and he's always been a prompt mathematician–"

You raised your hand, halting him.

…

Hold on.

With this renewed silence, your grip on the butterknife tightened. 

Bile rose to your throat, and if you could vomit blood right now, you would just so he's aware of how you felt. 

You remember the word now. Tartaglia frequently uses it to allude to the bambinis who come to his manor. The term is nauseating and demeaning, but there is no other way to describe how the spy acts.

… It can't be, right?

Suddenly, your opinions about Alhaitham drastically plummeted. Your spirit left your body, and you hope a couple of shots will help drag it back down once you enter Tartaglia's manor.

Damn. You thought Tartaglia was joking when he said you have some very… unquenched and downright masochistic... admirers.

Not that it's confirmed, but with the way Alhaitham looks at you, you just had to know…

You cleared your throat, uncomfortable.

...

"In other words, you're doing all this because you're some sort of groupie?" 

Alhaitham froze.

Your face contorted into a perfect depiction of unbridled revulsion and intrigue, a look that screams you simultaneously want and don't want to learn more about what he does inside his bedchamber. 

In a way, you're awestruck that some men are THAT desperate to get laid– it's almost commendable– but to be so brazen enough to admit it is just…

"What– Of course not. Unlike some people, I'm not that far gone yet."

Yet???

Alhaitham stiffened, unsure how you ended up with a half-baked yet reasonable (reasonable because he knows the truth) conclusion. Despite his voice sounding cool and composed, his nonverbal behavior betrays him.

"Smettila di raccontarmi cazzate." You mumbled to yourself.

"Non sto mentendo." There was a faint edge in his voice as he argued back.

Your eyes widened. 

Alhaitham's eyebrows furrowed. "... What's so surprising, tesoro? Don't tell me you didn't expect an Akademiyan spy to not be fluent in Snezhnayan. We had to learn 20 languages before we could join the Akademiya."

There was something natural about the way "tesoro" rolls off his tongue, and you didn't question it the first time he called you that the first time. Now that you're hearing it again in this context, you wanted to spit on his face. 

You're not hearing any of this. 

You're not entertaining the idea that your new underboss applied just for a chance to warm his bed.

...

Sometimes, maybe ignorance is bliss.

Let's just conclude it with that life lesson and move on. You don't want to kill him yet.

"First command I'll give is that you will never address me as tesoro again. Ugh. I don't wanna know how many women and men you've beckoned with that name." You looked down, face wrinkled in absolute disappointment.

Alhaitham sighed. He can't refute if you pressed on asking similar questions. There's a high chance he would've told you right then and there that he did some questionable things with the tissues he picked up from your trash bin.

Not wanting to give him opportunities to defend himself, you digressed immediately. You don't want to dwell on your previous accusations.

You dropped something in his hands.

As per recruitment tradition in the Innamorati Familia, you gave him a piece of clothing. A single green scarf. 

A far cry in quality from the opera gloves Rosalyne gave you and the eyepatch you gave Dimitri.

Alhaitham graciously accepted it, but he's confused as to why you gifted him a scarf rather small; he might as well use it as a towel. He was expecting that you'd give him a hat similar to the ones you always wore. He's rather petty that this is what he received, but the answer is simple…

"You'll only be an underboss by name. I grant you no real authority." 

He gave you an unimpressed look before wrapping it around his neck. It barely covers him. Alhaitham was devastated that the scarf didn't feel like it was yours, but he'd never admit it. Instead, he asked you about his job in his normal snarky tone.

"I'm well aware you'd say something to that effect before I applied. Are there any other words of wisdom you'd like to share with your new underboss?"

"You only have one job and it's to sit still and look pretty. Other than that, I hope you change or die." You meant it.

"What an encouraging thing to say." Alhaitham chuckled. "Then again, thank you. Word on the streets is that you're usually friendly but reserved, I must be pretty interesting if you're talking this much."

He takes the phrase "word on the streets" quite literally. Alhaitham has a propensity of eavesdropping when he visits cafes near Morepesok square. And you happen to be his favorite subject. Every time someone mentions you, Alhaitham jots it down in his little notebook. You're too popular, and for a damn good reason. He can't help but join in on those chats knowing what it's about. Regulars now recognize him as the lunatic Eleazar researcher, but you don't need that information.

You rolled your eyes and twirled your knife.

Annoying.

You placed your knife down and extended your hand out. He stared at it, silently confused.

"Take my hand."

He quickly, and almost desperately, followed your command. "And? Your hands are warm… but what's your strategy?"

You're starting to lose your patience.

You sighed, waving your other hand dismissively. "At this point, maybe you do need to take lessons of when to shut the fuck up– you'll probably sound smarter if you talk less."

"How do you prefer for me to act? You already got Cyno, a brooding bodyguard, so what role should I take? My skills like more o–"

You can't take it anymore.

You yanked him by the collar. Your faces are only a hair apart, and as it stands, the proximity has made his legs wobbly. Alhaitham's breath hitched as you gazed at him menacingly, as though your pupils shrank in anger. Your fingernails messed up his ironed dress shirt and should he strike your nerve ONE MORE TIME you might just rip his throat out.

"Act like a fucking human being with brains instead of scarabs, maybe. Good riddance– I don't have time for this– do I have to train you like a DOG?" You growled.

He's your underboss, (Y/n).

You cringed. You've nearly forgotten it's you who mostly owe him a favor, not the other way around. You saw the almost perfectly hidden apprehension in his eyes and felt a twinge of guilt.

Don't forget, you're as terrifying as Rosalyne when you're angry.

Don't scare him away. Like it or not, you NEED him. Or else the Cardinals, Pierro, and maybe even Inquisitor Cyno won't recognize you as a Capo– Do you want that to happen? Do you want your men jobless and living on the streets? Are you that selfishly angry?

You breathed in. You breathed out.

Steel yourself, (Y/n).

... You used to be so in tune with your emotions. You were able to suppress most of it– not a lot of people can tell when you're angry. Your anger used to be silent.

What on earth happened to you? Are you still yourself? If so, why are you acting like a mess?

....

Supposed that influx of anger makes sense for someone who lost almost everything in one day. Your hands are trembling. You're homeless, your business is gone– and half of your friends are dead. 

But you're directing all that anger on the wrong person.

Alhaitham didn't burn your manor down. He can be a suspect, but there are no solid shreds of evidence against him. What is wrong with you?!

Snap out of it!

You can't mourn.

You don't have TIME for that!!!

You dropped your hold on him, shaking your head. For a moment, Alhaitham forgot how to breathe and his chest heaved for what felt like the first time. No one had pulled him that close before.

You're sane.

You're still sane.

You just have to keep believing that.

"... I was only asking to prepare myself for the inevitable culture shock." He said after collecting himself. "But whatever you did just now was enthralling."

You felt a nerve twitch.

This man.

"You're a researcher. It's high time you use your head." You grunted. "For now, you're coming with me– I'm introducing you to the familia."

"Understood. Lead the way."

The door creaked open.

"(Y/n) are you alright–"

The three of you froze.

Inquisitor Cyno and newly appointed Underboss Alhaitham exchanged calculating glances. You observed as they each attempted to fish something out of their pockets in slow, meticulous movements. Cyno peered hypocritically at the knife he claimed was "not a weapon."

You coughed, but neither flinched.

"Yes, I'm quite alright, Inquisitor." You smiled cheaply. "Please, allow me to introduce my temporary underboss. This is Dimit– Alhaitham, he'll be working for me starting today."

Dimitri.

Why did you almost say that name?

He's gone.

Accept it.

Cyno's eyes widened before he frowned intensely. He looked at Alhaitham, unsure where to start.

"Him?" His voice dripped in alarm and disappointment. "Are you sure? You do know who– of course, you do– but he's–"

"A high risk?" You said. "He is. But he's a risk I'm willing to take."

You grinned. "Besides, I know Alhaitham's reaction time– he wouldn't last a second against me if assassination is on the table."

Last night's rendezvous was a fine attestation for that claim. If you put in the effort, Candace would've found a dead body haphazardly thrown in the public trash can.

Cyno didn't say a word, he knows your skill. He nodded, yet his eyes said otherwise.

Why is he looking at you like that? Why is he looking at you like you're out of your mind? You're perfectly alright.

The inquisitor noticed that something was off about you and gazed at Alhaitham instead. His stare was laced with the kind of venom that can only be found between two men who already had a grudge against one another.

The air weighed heavy as you both walked past the inquisitor.

"Watch your back, Akademiyan spy."

Alhaitham smirked.

"Yours as well, Church assassin."

—----

As expected, your men had mixed feelings when you showed up with an Akademiyan spy, and their reactions heightened when you revealed and stressed that he'd be a TEMPORARY underboss until you found a suitable replacement.

You cannot emphasize enough that as an ally, he's only a band-aid solution and that you'll find someone more suitable in your ranks, but that doesn't quell any feelings of rivalry they may have. It's exhausting to count with both hands and feet just how many men announced that they'll take over Alhaitham's occupation soon enough and that they'll get rid of him "in our Capo's name!" They were rather noisy– it's a good thing Tartaglia's in another room drinking his sorrows away (apparently he got dumped.)

While that sounds sweet, what's sweeter is seeing the look of annoyance on Alhaitham's face. A room full of Snezhnayan men acting like frat boys is likely not what an introverted scholar expected when applying for the mafia. 

Other than Alhaitham's woes, you were so relieved a handful made it out alive.

Felix discreetly handed you a list of the survivors' names. You didn't order him to do anything, but he collected everyone's signature with encouraging remarks in 3 stacks of paper, back to back, all cheering you on. Some are brief, others were straight-up novel worthy– but the length didn't matter because these were borne of familial affection. Even Felix, who is normally gruff and reticent, informed you that the Innamorati Familia awaits your orders. To think that Felix used to be the disobedient one, too.

Everyone trusts and admires you. That never changed even after you lost almost everything. Not a lot of people are fortunate enough to say the same.

After some deliberation, you tucked those papers safely in your pocket along with your swayed heart, promising them that you will devise a strategy just like what you always do. 

But you can't stay much longer.

You should be happy to receive such heartfelt letters from your familia... But why didn't you feel anything?

Why do you feel so hollow?

You don't want your men to worry, so you left immediately after a small speech, and with Felix's help, you met up with the manor's Capo.

You already left the common room when someone threw a glove at Alhaitham's face– it was funny but an audience with your figurative "fratello" would be more spectacular. Since Tartaglia inherited everything the now-retired Capo Pantalone had, he keeps a surplus of alcohol in his minibar and cellars. It's enticing, but you'll go for a non-alcoholic drink. Can't get wasted when you have a business meeting later today. 

Not that you want to get drunk with Tartaglia. His voice has a certain bell-like quality to it when you're hungover.

Your fratello yawned, staring at the wall before you came in. When he noticed your presence, he patted the empty seat beside him.

"... Mind giving me a rundown of what happened at the Sumeru Church?" He sounded depressed. Just how beautiful was this boy or girl to make him look this sad?

You dismissed Felix and sat down.

"I suppose I should recount everything that happened, starting at around yesterday morning…"

It was a long story.

You tried to narrate everything in a detached perspective, viewing the fiasco as nothing short of a random story, and yet…

In a switch, Tartaglia busted into a fit of laughter.

Tartaglia couldn't stop laughing as he poured himself a shot of fire-water. His entire body was shaking in pure joy as you recounted the events. Your fellow Capo's spirits buoyed immediately as you got to the last part. He couldn't restrain himself and sure enough, some of his drink spilled. You stared at him bewildered as Tartaglia wiped it off with his sleeves. Where the hell is this boar's dignity? Uncultured swine.

"H-Hol-Hold on– hAHAHA!–" Tartaglia held his stomach while his other hand balled into a fist, shakily slamming the table. "You're telling me he joined ca-cause he wants to fuck?!"

You ignored him, furiously cutting a lime. Just earlier, Tartaglia was moping that he got rejected by a blonde traveler (who's his target), so he's experiencing a massive schadenfreude.

There are so many details he could've nitpicked, like how you metaphorically adopted another troubled girl or how you nearly shipped Alhaitham for Wednesday's garbage pickup, and he had to choose that one. He would have been moved by what Felix and the others had done for you if he had let you finish talking. But no. Tartaglia is Tartaglia. Tomato, to-ma-to.

"Do you have to put it so perversely? It's not as if it's confirmed." Leaning over to whisper to him, you pulled his ear. "It's just a hunch. I'm not sure if he sees me like that."

You kind of want to brag that at least you get admirers while he can't even get a foreigner's attention, but you're not that low.

"H-Holy shit my comrade! You're so fucking dense!"

"Stop speaking." You said, making darting motions with the knife.

Violence isn't out of the equation, though. 

Don't worry, you're sure physical wounds are easier to heal.

"I-I can't! This is gold." He cackled like a goose. Under normal circumstances, you would've chuckled over his dumb-sounding laughter, but you're the butt of his jokes. "You? A prude like you?– c'mon mio amico Alhaitham, you can do better than that, fratello!"

"When on earth did you start calling him your brother?–" Your voice was dangerously leaning towards platonic jealousy. 

"Since he started thinking about smashing my older sibling." Both his elbows rested on the counter, and his blue eyes hawked as if waiting for a moment to strike. 

"Oh, and for the record, I'm definitely Team Alhaitham on this one. Send my regards to Cyno. He put up a fight when he decided he'll help repair your manor but it ain't as great as a good fuck."

You twisted his ear, making him squirm and moan in pain loudly.

"Don't drag the Inquisitor into your whimsical fetishes. You are the scum of the earth and for the sake of Teyvat, I hope you will never reproduce. May the Tsaritsa forgive you, you lonely lonely man."

"Ow-ow-ouch!!! Hey! T-Take a breather with that knife, won't you? Might hurt yourself there, comrade."

You put it down. 

"... I've been pointing blades around excessively for a while now. Perhaps I should stray away from knives." Your eyes trailed down his waist.

"Exactly–"

"Tartaglia, lend me your double-action revolver."

His smile dropped.

"You've got to be kidding me." There was a high-pitch strain as he ended his sentence. Tartaglia protectively covered his gun. "I'm not giving you my babygirl."

"My hostler's been light lately; it's not for aesthetics. The least you can do is let this homeless person borrow a gun."

"Yeah but you're beautiful even without one, didn't Alhaitham call you the apple of his eye?"

"I will gouge yours out."

Tartaglia gulped.

"Okay, okay. Calm down. Here." The pressure in his tone deepened as he reluctantly passed his revolver.

You took it off his hands and just as you were about to inspect for bullets, you glanced at your watch.

You still have a meeting scheduled in half an hour.

"Cazzo– I have to go."

"Hey wait!–"

You stood up and left for the common room, leaving your heartbroken brother back alone as he listened to your call for Alhaitham.

Tartaglia sighed and went back to his drink, painfully aware of the deafening silence. He sipped his shot and stared sadly at the aisle of drinks in front of him. No one to share with. And most of all, his lucky gun isn't with him.

"Damn. I'm a fucking capo but why do I feel like I've been robbed?"

—--

[Morning, 11 AM:]

"Is this the Ogonptitsa district? But why?"

Alhaitham followed you about like a lost dog yearning for a home. You would normally have driven your car (which was parked in one of Tartaglia's garages), but you felt like torturing him. The Akademiyan agent is far too pale. Even if your destination was the desert, you'd trek merely to fry him in the sun.

He appears like a child wearing a bib with the scarf you gave him. You tried hard not to laugh at him.

Mental note: buy Alhaitham a collar next time.

"Don't you know? Aren't you supposed to be my underboss?" You shrugged. "We're going around town, and do use caution. After all… When in Snezhnaya, you do what the Snezhnayans do."

You stopped at a familiar red building, and Alhaitham nearly walked past you had you not called his name. 

This is the place you're looking for.

Three maids dropped their baskets and scrambled to usher you both inside. Alhaitham trailed behind as you thanked the hardworking staff, unconcerned about how easily you've been brought inside.

Before you know it, you and your underboss are on the 4th floor of the mansion, facing its owner. 

"Hmm, he looked just like the uploaded pictures in the Akasha Terminal," Alhaitham muttered, memorizing Diluc's face intensely. The earpiece he's wearing buzzed. "Interesting. He's 72 kilograms and 6'1" in height."

You raised an eyebrow.

Why the hell does Alhaitham need that information?

Fucking weirdo.

Too distracted by his mutterings, Alhaitham was the first to claim the empty sofa. Your new "underboss" crossed his legs like a man would in the comfort of his own home. You held back a long sigh as you took a seat beside him, making a mental note to lecture him about this. Underbosses shouldn't take a seat before the Capo themselves– and you're painfully reminded just how underqualified he is in areas that do not involve bookkeeping and information gathering. 

You summoned your patience so that you would refrain from kicking Alhaitham's leg while the host flipped through his papers. His eyes are twitching, and his small stifled yawns indicate that he didn't get much sleep either.

Mister "Darknight Hero" here must've been helping the citizens while you were away. 

[CHOSE: NEGOTIATE FUNDS WITH VISCONTI DILUC RAGNVINDR]

[NARROWLY AVOIDED BAD ENDING 1: "You're Collei's Friend, After All!" ]

"Buongiorno, Visconti Diluc. My apologies for this sudden appointment"

"Likewise, Capo." He was unable to catch himself from yawning out loud. The Visconti's shoulders sheepishly dropped as he lazily composed himself. "P-Pardon me, as well. I've been too busy as of late."

"Understandably so." Alhaitham suddenly said.

Diluc regarded bim with cool, disinterested eyes, before pretending he wasn't in the room. You're sure he's dying to ask some questions, but you both respect each other's time.

[ALHAITHAM IS PRESENT]

[MODERATE RISK -> VERY LOW RISK]

"Before we start, I'd like to extend my deepest condolences, (Y/n)." He muttered. "I know the anguish of being separated from family."

It's been years since his father died, but grief doesn't hit all at once; it comes in waves. Diluc's eyes softened, and if his hand had been near yours, he would have held it. You're difficult to read, but that doesn't mean you're uncaring. That is one characteristic you both share.

"Grazie, Signor."

Visconti Diluc was no syndicate and did not have the machinations to become one. His hands were clean until his father died– and he had a vendetta against the mafia ever since. 

Despite that, he is still your reluctant ally.

You import and export drinks between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya; cultivating an unfavorable connection would be unwise. As a result, you frequently invite him to stay for supper, in which the Visconti would chatter about how a person like you should change occupations while you still have the opportunity. Diluc's dissatisfaction is palpable whenever you demonstrate your legal business management abilities. You would have been a formidable competitor in the wine industry. Someone who will make running Dawn Winery less mundane.

However, his emotions do not prevent him from occasionally keeping you company in Angel's Share.

"I assume you're the one that sent that letter?" He asked.

"If you're referring to my pigeon Picus, then yes." You nearly ranted about how Tartaglia made a joke that your pet nearly became a crispy fried pigeon but you refrained from revealing that information.

"I see…"

"For the record, you don't need to state your case," Diluc said. "I'll let you loan the money."

He agreed without putting up a fight because his adopted brother was just like you in terms of negotiation. Frighteningly enough, both you and Kaeya have an uncanny ability to wrap everyone around your fingers…

So really, he'd give in either way. Might as well save everyone's time. Besides, Diluc could never say no to you.

You're not a bad person in his eyes.

You're just lost.

"Grazie again, Visconti. But I assume you'd need my men?" You gestured at his folders, which were all about festival wine.

Diluc laughed humorlessly. "Yes, if you would, please. I need extra hands for the next batch."

"Gladly."

"Thank you– but please don't leave yet. I need your council."

You shifted from your seat, relaxing slightly.

Meanwhile Alhaitham crossed his arms. His stare was cold and directly aimed at the Visconti. The Akademiyan Spy must've found some dirt on him by simply observing his room– or rather, his trashcan– but he can't tell you that information right now.

It'll be a bigger mess if Alhaitham revealed what Diluc had been doing to your picture. So he'll let you talk to him, for now.

Visconti, you are so terrible at hiding things.

Diluc cleared his throat. "Remember our previous discussion about the Rex Lapis-Morax theory?"

You snorted. "Why would I?"

Rex Lapis and Morax. There's a theory circulating that the Adepti's leader, Morax, is the Geo Archon, Rex Lapis. This spread like wildfire once Focalor claimed to be the unappreciated Hydro Archon. Akademiyan scholars beat this dead horse by spinning nonsense about how an Archon could take a human's shape. Even Tartaglia believed the same and insisted that he had seen Morax transform before his very eyes into a primordial dragon.

But was that what Diluc was actually talking about?

No. Of course not.

Your previous discussion ended with a certain green musician. That's WHO he was referring to. 

For now, Alhaitham observed his surroundings while eavesdropping on your conversation.

"There had been a new development," Diluc shared with a small grin. "News circulated that he was seen wearing cloaks, not unlike the depictions of Archons through the mouth of a blonde 'worker'."

You snorted.

"Was there any doubt? They should know by now that she won't be 'working' for them forever. Love for one's familia has more value than their petty greed. If they're not willing to listen, well, the Darknight Hero would be mad, wouldn't he?"

"Hah. Should I meet up to tell them just that? Give the papers something to write about?"

"Nah. You should just announce it by the grapevine. Make sure to invite my fratello if things start to get wild."

"Indeed I should, and I will. Maybe a taste test would do well in this line of business."

"Ah, but do you really need that?" You smiled. "You have the barrels you need."

"Fair enough. Nothing of value was lost when the storm died anyways. At least we have the wind in town."

"Hmm, hmm. A wind pretending to be human, how curious. Enough about him, are you going to help her?"

"There's no need. She's plenty capable handling herself. Haven't you heard? She even met your fratello."

"... She's the one that dumped him?"

"Who else?"

"Oh my God–" You laughed. "What a small world!"

Alhaitham's eyes sharpened. He's smart, but he is not a miracle worker. Your conversation did not make sense without any historical context. Those jargons were likely terms only the two of you knew.

But Alhaitham could tell you're not underestimating his competencies.

In fact, this was probably you testing him to see if he could catch up.

The only thing he understood was "grapevine."

That's what Mondstadters use when referring to a human trafficking ring.

But the rest of the conversation? Absolutely cryptic. But that doesn't matter.

Whoever this mystery woman is must've been a slave who broke free. As for her identity, however...

Alhaitham will figure it out soon enough.

Diluc signed the parchment.

His signature had severe angles and curves, somewhat hostile and prideful but conveyed in an elegant manner. You're no expert, but Diluc's handwriting aptly describes his personality. No matter how hard he tries to repress himself, bits and pieces will always leak into one's daily life.

And so, the deal is done.

—---------

"We'll be taking our leave. As always, it was a pleasure doing business with you."

"Likewise, Capo."

You took a look behind you. Alhaitham was already a few meters away, his nose buried in a book. You made a mental note to chastise him later. Perhaps you do need to train him like a dog. You know that madman is all about liberty and self-government, but there is a hierarchy he must adhere to.

"Oh, and Capo?"

"Yes?" You turned to face him again.

Diluc looked away, a bit upset.

"Whenever you come to visit, would you mind not bringing your underboss along?" 

You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Why?"

"I prefer talking to people one-on-one."

He said it so quickly that you're convinced he practiced that lie in front of a mirror.

But you have an idea as to why that is, and it's likely not security related. At all. His brother told you the reason behind Diluc having so awkwardly when around you. That's because before Crepus adopted him, you were Kaeya's orphanage sibling first.

Visconti Diluc Ragnvindr harbors feelings for you for over three years now, and he does not know how he should to properly manage it. Kaeya had shown you proof of this before by leaking his unsent love letters and you thanked him for the heads-up. This is likely his half-assed admission that he doesn't want to see another man close to you.

You nodded, lying better than Diluc did.

Shame that the feeling isn't mutual.

"I'll see what I can do." You answered without conviction.

Diluc smiled. 

With his hair all messy and his clothes disheveled, Diluc looked truly at home. The view from in front of his porch felt personal as if you were coming home to see your husband waiting for you by the door. There's an unspoken intimacy in the way he smiled. If you're lucky enough, you might just figure out why.

But you don't want to.

You don't have time to indulge in a mere flight of fancy.

Anyone would hesitate to love a dead man.

"Thank you– be careful on your way back. I'd offer to walk you but…" His face soured as he quickly glanced at Alhaitham.

"I will. Buona giornata, Visconti Ragnvindr."

[CHANCE FOR SECRET ROUTE: "VISCONTI DILUC RAGNVINDR" UNLOCKED]

[AFFECTION METER: 29.25%]

Alhaitham yanked your hand, unamused. 

His akasha terminal was flickering red lights on and off as if he had received bad news. Alhaitham was staring at Diluc, and this time for sure you knew he was measuring something. 

A meter you couldn't see.

'Disgusting boar.' Alhaitham thought to himself.

"We'll leave. Now." He ordered slowly.

You nodded and waved Diluc goodbye one last time.

Whatever it is, you decided to trust your new underboss's judgement. And thank Tsaritsa you did.

With everything Alhaitham saw with his Akasha Terminal, he will never let you visit that man alone.

Because Visconti Diluc is the one guilty of what you accused Alhaitham of.

If Alhaitham wasn't there, Visconti goody-two-shoes Ragnvindr would've kidnapped you.

Alhaitham huffed, both angry and amused.

'Fucking pervert.'

Disgusting as that Visconti may be, he understands where he's coming from.

But that man doesn't know you're dying.

And Alhaitham would rather spend the last of your days doing what you want with him by your side than the confines of his basement.

—------

[Afternoon, 3 PM:]

[Chose: Visit Barbara]

You went to visit Barbara alone.

Alhaitham left for his accounting duties, but not before ordering that no additional business meetings will take place for the rest of the evening. Not that you had any. Whatever the case, the Visconti must've left a bad taste in his mouth despite his polite behavior. 

His mouth was always in motion, and none of his words were nice. Alhaitham suggested other organizations that would sponsor you instead but stopped mid-sentence when you started fidgeting with Tartaglia's gun. As he should. Someone as green as him in this scene shouldn't question his boss's judgement. 

"Be careful around Visconti Diluc. He's a lunatic."

"More than you?"

"Hah. You Fatuis seriously require better intel."

He was getting on your nerves. It's a good thing your last destination is the church. You would've left his body in an alleyway if it wasn't.

A familiar nun stood outside, horribly displeased. Sister Rosaria never finds morning lectures and hymns interesting, and that attitude is strictly how you figured out she's not a simple nun. She's a disciple and inquisitor, much like Cyno.

"Ciao, Sister Rosaria." You greeted. "Is Barbara around?'

"She told me that if I saw you I should apologize for her sake," Rosaria spoke in a near grumble. "And that I should help you out."

"Not that you would." You grinned and she chuckled.

"Not that I would normally." Rosaria corrected you. "But your people were good men. My condolences, Capo."

Your smile faltered, threatening to spill before you huffed and worked on your image. When those words come from people with burdens like Visconti Ragnvindr and Sister Rosaria, their sincerity weighs heavier than your pride.

"Thank you, Rosaria."

"The streets have become safer when they were around. The priest was glad when Dimitri taught the children how to defend themselves. It's a shame that he died–"

"Dimitri's not dead."

Those words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. Rosaria closed her mouth.

"He's... I'm sorry. You're right. He's dead. I'm... Thank you. I appreciate your kind words."

"(Y/n), you..." Rosaria's eyebrows furrowed. It looked like she contemplated on saying something blunt, but decided against it.

"Nevermind, if you ever need someone to do your dirty work, I'll wipe them off for you."

"I'd rather be the one to clean this mess, but I appreciate it… although if you could find where Tighnari is–"

"I have a lead. Consider it done."

"Grazie."

And that was the end of that.

"Good talk. Now, why don't you go inside?" She gestured at the cathedral. "Someone you know is there."

You raised an eyebrow. "Is it Tighnari?–"

"Would've dragged his ass out immediately after spotting you, so no."

"Cazzo." You snapped your fingers, comically emphasizing your dissatisfaction.

Rosaria replied nonchalantly. "I know. What a fucking shame."

You both snickered at your foul language. Had Barbara been there, she would've begged you both to stop.

Heretics.

"I better head in and pray for salvation."

"Don't bother praying for me."

"Wasn't planning to."

—-----

"Oh, so it's you." You muttered.

The last time you saw him was earlier this morning when he nearly stabbed Alhaitham with your butterknife– and there's a clear difference between that and him looking like a man of the Archons. Or maybe he just looks different in a white dress shirt rather than his violet Inquisitor getup.

Cyno knelt in front of the Lessor Lord Kusanali's stained glass image. It was her lone depiction inside the Tsaritsa's cathedral. You assumed he was deep in his prayers and you sat on the pews, but the inquisitor replied.

"In times of anguish, you can rely on the Archons and your will."

Khaenri'ah would censor the former.

Cyno looked up. "Care to join me?"

"I appreciate it, but I've already prayed."

"And thus, you'll forever see faith as a routine rather than hope."

Cyno had a point. A point you'll receive on deaf ears. He resumed.

"I lost my family as well." 

He let those heavy words hang in the air. Cyno gazed at the altar, a forlorn expression painting his features as his fingertips traced her image.

"For a time, I believed that I had no one left to keep me company but the Lesser Lord Kusanali." He muttered. His gentle touch didn't chip away the dry paint as he caressed the glass. "My family tore apart when I was at a young age... I can't recall much due to trauma."

Knowing that he cared for his relatives, you went straight to asking "How was your search for them? Any worthwhile discoveries?"

"Unfortunately futile, but there were some facts I've uncovered while investigating on my own." 

You nodded, signaling that you were listening. Cyno's probably just trying to connect with you. Dumping traumatic experiences isn't normally how you should console a grieving person, but you can understand his efforts.

Besides, what does he know about your pain? He didn't lose as much people as you did that nig–

You stopped thinking.

You knew that line of thought will lead you nowhere.

His hand seemed to reach for his chest before he faltered and pulled back. Cyno's hand turned into a fist.

"I have a brother. I found out when I read a letter addressed to a human trafficker. The handwriting was akin to wolf scratches, but his name was spelled like Usir." He mumbled. "I can't remember who he was or how he acted if he loved his older brother. All I knew was that he's still out there somewhere and–"

"That's why you resigned from the clergy and became an inquisitor? I understand. More freedom of movement, right?"

He sat beside you.

"Yes." Cyno nodded, smiling. "I'm glad you're skilled at inferences. I tire of explaining things repeatedly."

It's one of many things Cyno adores about you.

You two went silent. It was a peaceful and comfortable silence, signaling that the topic of conversation was finished until he spoke up again.

"I never thought I'd find a chance to talk to you like this." He said. "I've not been one for talking and you're always too busy."

"Can't be too busy when you're only handling the livelihood of 20 to 50 men nowadays."

"Still a high number."

"Too true."

Cyno laughed.

His laugh was soft, albeit muffled, yet its jovial innocence echoed on the empty cathedral. At first, listen, Cyno's chortles sound empty and forced, but after a while, you'll realize that's as genuine as it could get. 

In a way, his lack of emotional execution makes him charming.

[AFFECTION METER: 18.00%]

"You've always been so direct to the point." He said, not realizing that he spoke out loud.

Always, huh?

"So you've been stalking me for how long?" 

Cyno coughed awkwardly. "Less stalking and more monitoring."

Sure, whatever you say, pal.

"So you do know about me having Eleazar."

He contemplated for a while before answering.

"... Yes. Yes, I do. Tighnari, Alhaitham, and I know. We know who has Eleazar and those who have long died because of it."

Guess Alhaitham wasn't lying.

You looked in the direction he was facing. Barbara's tiny figure emerged from a distance, waving at you as she ran with her weekly grocery chores. You suspect this was because she spoiled most of what she bought last time when she fell. As small as she looked in your proximity, it's hard to miss her worried yet compassionate face. 

She's like a sister to you, but what does Cyno think of the two other men he mentioned?

"What's your opinion on my new underboss?" You asked while vaguely waving at Barbara.

Cyno's face hardened.

"Never liked him."

That also makes sense, given their morning exchange. You don't have to listen to his reasons. There's something innately strange about Alhaitham that makes him so dislikeable. But there's something more to this. There seems to be a rivalry between these three. Something they don't want you to find out.

"And Tigh–"

"I was close friends with Tighnari, and I never expected him to pull something like this. I haven't been able to hunt him down since then." He confessed immediately. "I'm sorry that he had done something this rash."

Close friends, huh?

You closed your eyes.

You'll kill everyone that fox ever loved.

You laughed, your throat unknowingly dry. This man is a church disciple and your challenged moral compass is at risk of toppling down. You're by no means faltering from your decision, and if Cyno meant something to Tighnari, then you'd gladly slit his throat right here and now. 

But if what the Inquisitor's saying is true, then it's possible that he didn't matter to Tighnari at all.

"... What made you think you're both close?" 

"He was the only one who could tolerate my jokes and listen to me ramble about cards."

... Are those his only qualifications for a close friend? That's rather sad. When Cyno put it so bluntly, he sounded pathetically asocial.

"I can sense your bloodlust. (Y/n), I am not your enemy." He frowned.

"Tighnari not only betrayed you, but he also betrayed my trust and declared himself an enemy of the church. As I mentioned, I was tasked with monitoring you– and he nearly put you in grave danger."

Cyno clicked his tongue. "Tch. Judgement will pass soon enough."

You didn't miss the devouring fire in his sunset eyes. An ignition you're all too familiar with and rely on completely.

It was spite.

That was enough for you to trust Cyno, for now.

But the way he talks about betrayal makes you question how he'll treat you if he finds out what you've done to Rosalyne. It would be out of character for him to already know but ignore your sins. This man used to be a priest. Cyno would put you on the same lowly pedestal as Tighnari for your actions.

"Inquisitor, I–"

"I know what you're planning. I understand your grief but don't."

"... What do you mean?"

"You can't kill him. You of all people shouldn't."

"And why is that?" 

Then Cyno turned around, dropping a fact you wish you didn't know.

"Because Tighnari has made the most progress. He's the closest we have to get the cure for Eleazar."

Your heart sank.

Suddenly, Barbara hugged you from behind before you could ask more. Cyno took it as a cue and swiftly left the room, much to your chagrin. Perhaps he departed because the conversation was confidential, or perhaps he left you to ponder your fate alone.

"(Y/n)! Are you alright?! Please tell me if there's anything I can do for you!!!"

You patted her head. Cyno escaped from your grasp but you can never be angry at Barbara. 

"Well, why don't you sing for me, sorella?"

There's nothing Barbara could truly help you with right now, but you do know this: you approached Cyno intending to clear your head, what you got instead was a myriad of new inquiries left unanswered but it all builds up into one final question.

Would you take revenge at the cost of a cure?

—-----

Cyno slithered out of the cathedral without anyone noticing him. Seeing the person he had been monitoring for years look this depressed was heartbreaking.

He will not lie: he wants to kill Tighnari too.

But he can't, since whatever Tighnari's doing, it's for the sake of your cure– but he can't accept that he did not adhere to their deal.

No one wasn't supposed to lay a single finger on you. 

That was the truce between the three of them. Now that Tighnari broke that rule, Alhaitham and he expectedly followed suit. Their friendship is gone. This is now a competition, and the professor is the wild card.

Tighnari can't be killed.

But that Alhaitham…

He's a threat to you. Unlike Cyno and Tighnari– his motivations are inherently selfish and only prove to benefit himself alone.

That Akademiyan shamelessly claims that he sees you as a subject of Eleazar for him to study. He doesn't deserve to be near you– if Cyno knew he'd pull something like this, he would've volunteered to be your underboss instead.

But this isn't where this game ends.

Cyno smiled.

If he could just convince the Cardinals and make it look like an accident…

—----

[Evening, ??? PM:]

[CHOSE: LEAVE FLOWERS]

A tranquil night makes an ideal atmosphere for you to collect your thoughts. In these hours, solitude proved to be the finest solution. Or at least, you're hoping that nobody's there. Because this is the night you plan to leave these feelings behind.

The soles of your shoes crushed heart-shaped leaves as you made your way to Dimitri's grave. You trailed a rich scent of fresh inteyvats, boxed Saghert and Cream, and whiskey as you walked past many familiar names in the cemetery. Some were your victims, others were old friends, but none mattered as much as Dimitri Blaiddyd.

That's because he was the only corpse they salvaged properly. Because he died in your arms. Unlike like Viktor, Teppei, and the others.

Not visiting their graves felt like a sin, but they had no graves to begin with.

Looking back, your friend never had a sense of taste, so you doubt he'd care for whatever you brought him. Truth be told, you've fed him spoiled food multiple times but Dimitri stomached it all without question. Perhaps your relationship had always been rocky and he had been incredibly tolerable of your "practical" jokes– but you wouldn't stoop low enough to offer spoiled treats as a tribute to the dead.

Perhaps you'd join him soon, too. You wouldn't mind if you were buried beside him.

"Happy 26th birthday, my beloved friend."

Silently, you set them down and lit the candles. As you observed the tiny flame adorning his headstone, you felt conflicted. Although you were positive that this is what he would have wanted, it didn't feel right to have his cause of death dance six feet above his corpse.

Life would be easier if you just forget about how the clock is always ticking. But neither of you could cover your ears at the ringing echoes of regret.

Dimitri had no family left, and you both reveled in that freedom when he was alive. He was your true partner-in-crime, reeling you in should you act too reckless– even when it cost him his left eye. Not once had Dimitri faltered from fulfilling his duties. You will never find a dog– a lion more tamed than he was, but a circus animal usually carries baggage of its own.

And fate loves to play jokes.

Coincidentally, his father also died in a fire years ago in the middle of a business meeting, making him an orphan. That's what led him to a life of crime. Dimitri behaved as if he'll forever be imprisoned by his past and couldn't bear to let go of his guilt. He often prayed to the Archons above for his end to come soon enough. Perhaps it's cruelly morbid for you to think this way, but maybe his death was ordained by fate in the grand scheme of things.

He got what he prayed for.

You don't care if he went to heaven or hell. What is hell for people like him? He never found real pleasures in life nor a sliver of hope. Dimitri would curse the earth before hell itself.

But damn it.

It fucking hurts.

You miss him.

It's only been a few days but you miss your best friend so damn much.

You sense another person behind you, but they're not a threat.

"This wouldn't be the first time you lost a partner-in-crime."

You turned around.

For a brief moment, you nearly fooled yourself into believing Dimitri's apparition manifested itself to give you a firm scolding whilst wearing a thick and dark trench coat. But this blonde and blue-eyed man wasn't your old underboss– the man before you is very much alive.

That may not be Dimitri, but that doesn't change that this man certainly was an old friend.

You grinned weakly. 

"Buona sera, Dainsleif."

There were no ghosts. It was just you, him, and the lonely hooting owl in the vicinity.

And yet you can't look at his face for long enough.

He looks too much like...

Dainsleif stood behind you, looking down at your old friend's grave. He had both hands empty, indicating that this encounter was not planned.

"Lost the ability to greet good evening in our native tongue?"

"I've long abandoned my patriotic ways."

"More accurately, you've long abandoned me." He laughed bitterly. "I don't recall you blaming the entirety of Khaenri'ah for La Signora's death."

"Maybe I did, maybe I did not." You bantered back. "Starting a propaganda can be pretty wild sometimes."

Dain replied with a teasing lilt. "Hmm, sure it is."

You laughed, genuinely this time. It's only been two days since you laughed from the heart, but it felt like an eternity ago considering everything that had happened.

Dainsleif was the man you framed for La Signora's murder. When you were both in your early twenties, you had nowhere else to go but up. As Khaenri'ahn immigrants, there was only one option left for you two: it was to compete. All is fair in love and war, and you dived head-first into the syndicate while he worked for the police. It didn't matter if he was a brother from the orphanage– a lust for power blinds all. 

But he never failed to treat you with unconditional positive regard.

Dainsleif took your betrayal indifferently, and you recalled how he took the dagger from you and lathered Rosalyne's blood in his hands. You recalled how he angrily told you to leave– and for once you were reluctant about continuing your schemes. 

Everyone from that orphanage has to stick together.

They're the first "familia" you've ever had. Even if you abandoned your country.

Six years passed since that day. After placing operations to search for the "Khaenri'ahn soldier", you heard that he's been running around Teyvat as a reputable informant. Visiting Dimitri's grave was his way of letting you know that he harbored no ill will against you. 

You're still siblings, no matter how disastrous of a monster you have and will become. And it's not a matter of if but when. 

"I heard your old underboss resembled me, now that I see his portrait, can't say they're wrong." Dainsleif droned on. "Blonde hair, blue eyes. Had a smile that longed for the sweet release of death. Can tolerate your insufferable demands. I think we would've been fast allies."

"You got all that from a single black and white portrait?"

"I'm an informant, take a guess."

You chuckled sadly. "I'm sure you both would have talked shit about me in Angel's Share."

"And it would've been more enjoyable if you'd listened in as well. I've traveled far and wide, I'm certain you'd learn a lesson or two should we go out for drinks again."

"Yeah, if we could…"

But that was a pipedream.

The path you both thread are separated, and neither of you would share your keeps. As easy as it would've been to ask Dainsleif if he could be your next underboss, the consequences of your actions run deep into the heart of the problem. You already blamed Dainsleif for everything, no one would trust you if you bring back Rosalyne's "murderer" back into the familia.

Besides, there's one major difference between Dimitri and Dainsleif. The former believes that Archons are real but we humans lack the means to grasp their hands, while the latter's convinced they're nothing but social constructs.

Dainsleif never truly belonged in Teyvat because of this. Chastised for his lack of religious beliefs, he searched for a reason to leave. Everything that happened between you two was ultimately for the best. That chapter in your lives had long been closed.

But you wouldn't mind if you welcomed him in this new one.

After all, the last time you hired an informant, the bastard burned your house down. Might as well hire someone you consider your real family.

You opened your arms, still not looking at his face.

"Would you hug me if I asked for one?" 

You're stepping your boundaries with this request, but if this was still the Dainsleif you knew…

Dain blinked laconically. 

"Only if it'll give me a chance to stab you in the back."

You smiled.

It's still him. The same bitter old Dain.

"Have at it, old friend."

He hugged you.

His hug was gentle and damn near brotherly. A rose like you rarely dulls its thorns for a second of soothing vulnerability– and this is a privilege only Dimitri, Dainsleif, and Tartaglia could afford. 

And yet...

With reasons you can't explain, the weight of the world suddenly sat on your shoulders.

And you know that you're about to collapse.

You croaked. "D-Dainsleif I–"

He hugged you tighter.

"Shhhh... It's okay. It's okay to be sad." He whispered, combing your hair with his fingers. "It's just me. And I will never judge you."

Finally, you cried.

Your bones were held together by the crushing pressure of managing a familia that you ignored what it means to be human.

You didn't allow yourself to grieve yesterday, and if Dainsleif wasn't here you would've done the same tonight.

You are tired.

You are so tired of everything.

For a brief moment, you didn't have to think about what was in store for you the next day. You pulled him closer, tearfully happy to know that he was there. That he was the one who found you that night–

Or else you don't know what you would've done with Tartaglia's gun.

'Dimitri, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I never got to say I'm so fucking sorry. I've been an awful friend. I should've appreciated you more when you were here with me.'

'Dimitri... I wish you were here. I'm so fucking stupid and ungrateful– I don't deserve you.'

You wept and clawed Dainsleif's shirt, wetting it with your large tears. He never complained. Dain cooed and repeatedly reassured you that he won't let you grieve alone.

'I'm so sorry.'

Dainsleif looks just like him. He's as tall as him.

And damn it– they almost sound the same.

You bit your lip, trying not to cry even harder but Dainsleif patted your back. And he's the only thing that's keeping you from reaching for your holster–

He grabbed your hands.

"(Y/n), don't hold it in. Cry. And we will never speak a word about tonight again if you want."

—---

Next Chapter

Note: There are two underlined phrases/words in this fic. The first one leads to a snippet of what the bad ending could've been and the last one is the voting poll! Vote wisely. Have fun!!!

Results from the last voting session here.

Voting closes at October 30, 2022!! CLOSED. Please wait for the next chapter!!! I have an extra treat there too 🥰

Taglist, thank you all for reading "OC!MC!": @scaranaris-lil-niko @ruru-senpai-is-an-infp @vienettacream @theglowfly @vermillionite @nasidibakar

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #21

Ghost / Batgirl #1-4 Words: Mike Kennedy Pictures: Ryan Benjamin Additional Work: Randy Emberlin, Howard Shun

One impression I used to have that going back to look at ~all~ of Cass's early appearances has forced me to reconsider is the idea that she didn't appear outside of her own books very much. While later on that is more the case, early on she does have a fair few guest appearances and cross overs, including in this bit of non-canon dual publisher cross promotion with Elisa Cameron, aka Ghost, a Dark Horse character with a solo that had been running since 1995.

The miniseries pits long time Batman villain Harvey Dent against brand new Ghost antagonist Malcolm Greymater - a (fictional) confederate general turned zombie libertarian corpse reanimator - in a conflict over Greymater poaching some of Dent's employees (ie reanimating goons that Dent killed). Babs, Cass, and Elisa get caught in the middle and are forced to work together after following separate threads of a bombing by Two Face and bodies stolen by Greymater only to be sold off into unsavory employment after failed reanimation experiments.

I don't want to go through the whole thing with a plot summary - it's four issues of non-canon stuff after all. But as a stand alone story it works fairly well, worth a read if you're a fan of early Cass. In particular there's solid characterization of Harvey Dent and what it's like to work for him - pretty bad actually. You can see why he'd get upset at someone trying to poach his guys, working conditions for goons in Gotham are terrible, if word got around of better conditions in Arcadia (Ghost's hometown) or wherever else then Batman's villains could easily find themselves suffering a labor shortage. The mere idea of that is funny enough to me that I can't help but like this little mini series, and it's an idea I'd love to see brought back. Goons On Strike - now there's a solid idea for an ongoing Gotham event crossover.

Anyway, Ghost/Batgirl is definitely a higher fantasy story than we usually see from Cass, at least back in the early days, but there's a focus on the individual lives and humanity of the underlings working for the villains that's very grounded and down to earth. That fits in really well next to the "street level" focus of Cass's early solo title. As for the book's cross-promotional function, it does make me curious about Ghost, though probably not enough so to go back and look at her solo title. I like her villain here, but Malcolm Greymater and his crew seem to be more or less exclusive to this crossover? Comicvine is telling me he maybe appears in a single issue outside of this, so that's kind of disappointing.

So setting aside the story, how's our girl in this? Well, first of all, she's being drawn by new hands. In costume she's mostly fine.

Sleek and spooky, glossy black. The details of her form are sometimes lost in the darkness, which loses some specificity in the action panels, but in a way that mostly works aesthetically. My only real complaint here is that her facial expression doesn't really show through the mask. You don't get a sense of what she's thinking or feeling in costume, she's just this dark angry spooky form, not so much a person or a character. As I've said in the past, though, that's as much or more a criticism of her costume design as it is of how any particular artist draws her in it.

It's also worth noting that, as with Cass's early pairing with Azrael, her costume contrasts very nicely with Ghost's. White with round hood and billowing cape vs. Cass all black and pointy. Aesthetically it's a great fit.

Out of costume, though...

I don't know. Just doesn't quite look like Cass to me? I know, I know, comic character facial features don't have the same specific canon as their costumes do, different artists have different styles so characters will look different, and there's definitely a stylistic element here that isn't gelling with me. The overall shape of the head is too thin, maybe, making her look a bit older than she should, where I'm used to Scott's more rounded face, stronger jaw, bushier eyebrows, shorter, poofier hair.

Scott's style, at least at the time, also just packs in more emotional expression, which is absolutely critical for a silent protagonist.

By contrast Benjamin's Cass, when she's not in costume, is often just standing a bit behind Babs with a sort of blank, neutral expression while Babs interacts with other characters or the audience for her.

...

Which also kind of brings us to the writing for Cass here. Ghost / Batgirl is probably the best example yet that silent Cass was a mistake, because yeah, the creators of this book just do not know how to convey her character to the reader without words. The first image starts with Cass looking out over the wreckage of a bombing, and of course there's pseudo noir internal monologue all over it, because how else do you start a bat-book, only Cass can't narrate so Babs provides the narration even though she isn't even in that scene.

Babs goes along on the adventure mostly so the writers have someone who can talk for Cass, or even in some panels quite literally talk over Cass.

Cass is an intimidating physical presence in costume, but in this book she functions more as an extension of Babs than as a person in her own right.

...

It's not all bad, though. In particular there's this one bit introducing an additional ability for Cass that makes perfect sense with her backstory and yet sadly I don't think is ever mentioned again in a canon Batgirl story:

Cass gets poisoned, but she survives, and recovers remarkably quickly, because she has a natural resistance to many poisons and venoms built up from repeat exposure to tiny amounts when she was a child, because of course that's something David would do. You could just imagine little Cass and David having drinking contests to see who could take the most poison before passing out, or even sneakily poisoning each other as a little game of escalating pranks.

...

So yeah, overall a nice little stand alone series with maybe not the best depiction of Cass, but one that is illustrative of why the major change to have her start speaking, while I still don't like how it was done, was probably for the best.

[theliteraryluggage]

If you're still interested in the ask game, I have a few! For Edward Elric:

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of them?

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!! What animal do you associate with this character? I think I remember you mentioning something about Ed and crows once? If I'm thinking of the right blog haha

Hope you're having a good day!!

Ohhh yes thank you!!

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Oh I have so many but uhmm let's see... One headcanon I have is that Ed can cook. Probably not expertly but well enough to get by. Like in those years between Trisha's death and the human transmutation, I think it's safe to assume that while Pinako made sure they knew they were always welcome in the Rockbell house, the boys wouldn't have had every meal every day with them. So the rest of the time Ed would cook. He picked up afew things from Trisha, and then he read some books (of course) and experimented a bunch (of course), because after all cooking is just chemistry/alchemy too, right? And then he and Al had to feed themselves while they were on Yock island and learned some more things and you bet Izumi involved them in chores, including cooking, when they were staying with her. So by the time they got back from training with Izumi he was pretty good at it and continued to take care of most of the cooking until the human transmutation. After they lost their bodies, he mostly stopped because a) he didn't need to feed Al anymore and b) he didn't really care about feeding himself as much beyond getting fuel so he could keep researching how to get their bodies back and c) once they started travelling it was inconvenient anyway so d) eating became just something to get out of the way as fast as possible so he could get back to researching.

I like to think that after everything he gets back to it though, his own small kind of alchemy, using raw materials to create something new through chemical processes. This goes for post-03 Ed in Germany too, with the added motivation of not being able to afford eating out a lot.

24. What character from another fandom of yours reminds you of them?

I've talked before about the parallels between Ed and Peter Parker, but lately I've also been thinking about Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastards books, who is also a snarky little shit with too much brains and confidence than is entirely good for him (I have a type). It's been too long since I read the books though, I'd have to go back and read them again to see if there's more similarities or if it's just vibes 😂

26. What animal do you associate with this character?

Oh, yes!! Well remembered! Making that post about MetalhEd and crows is still on my to do list lol but since you asked!

The day I first met @nino-saurier we were talking about which animals would best fit which FMA characters. And I had a hard time thinking of anything that would really fit Ed, so I said I had to think about it some more. And I did! And wrote them an essay about it later lol.

I was fairly certain Ed would be a bird, being freedom-loving, independent, never able to stay still for long. Considered migratory birds first, because even when he travels far, he always comes back home. But none quite fit. Considered owls and other birds of prey, but their temperament also wasn't quite right.

Then I thought of corvids, and my first instnct was like "no that's just because it fits his aesthetic, but that doesn't mean it actually fits his personality" but then I actually thought about it and...

Corvids are intelligent, obviously, they have an excellent memory, they can hold grudges, they are not naturally aggressive but you still don't want to get into a fight with them.

They are not exactly loners but also not the most social of animals.

They are very tough and resilient and can survive in very dire conditions.

Okay, I thought. Maybe there's something to that after all. So I went and actually looked into it in more detail and found this:

Corvids are extremely versatile and opportunistic

They usually live in mated pairs, though young birds may form a flock.

"Relationships between common ravens are often quarrelsome, yet they demonstrate considerable devotion to their families."

They are intelligent, skilled at problem-solving, young birds are extremely curious about all new things and also among the most playful bird species

Look, they are intelligent enough to be petty and spiteful: "ravens can recognise when they are given an unfair trade during reciprocal interactions with conspecifics or humans, retaining memory of the interaction for a prolonged period of time." (that's not very equivalent exchange of you!) "ravens in the wild have also been observed to stop cooperating with other ravens if they observe them cheating during group tasks"

Can we talk about the fact that ravens having a concept of cheating implies that they have morals. Like come on.

So uhhh yeah long story short, Edward Elric is a raven. And he would be thrilled about that, because ravens are badass and very metal. Now you know.

[yandere-paramour]

Y'know, I think Atalanta just has that type of personality I would not be compatible with in general, like, we would be business rivals maybe because I'd always feel like I have to one-up her😭 that being said, she is kinda growing on me in the span of these few days because I can see a gentle and caring side in her from some of the things you've written and that's really cute. She loves in the way she knows best and that is an admirable trait, so she has my respect.

Ahhh, but Vivien brings light to my life, reading about him is so fun!! Really, just wanna walk in when he's at work, buy flowers right from the shop and then give them to him as a present. If it were up to me, he would be all pampered. I know Noelle is still sort of new but she also gives me the same vibe, I would totally treat her sweetly and I also think she would just be nice to talk to. I can imagine she'd be understanding, but then again, I guess all the yans would try to be for their darling anyway.

I'm glad that whatever I had to say was inspiring to you!! I'm also sorry because it wasn't a very eloquent message at all, but I'm happy you could extract what was of value from it. And I wanna say thank you for writing and sharing it with us here, because honestly you've built such a beautiful reprieve in your blog and I know it's a place I can always come to for a needed escape whenever.

Anyway, I think I'm rambling now, I actually just wanted to wish you happy birthday now that it's July 3rd (at my time of sending). Happy 22nd and I hope today and every other day coming is great for you. Take care of yourself and rest when you can. All the best to you always!!

Atalanta is always such a fun character for me to write because she is always trying to put on this front of being calm and cool and collected and for the most, she truly is like that, but she has these moments of vulnerability with her Darling that I like best because it shows her as being just Ata and not Atalanta Montclair. She truly is the product of her upbringing; she is somehow both her mother's daughter and her father's daughter at the same time. She loves her Darling in the only way she knows how. Even if it isn't perfect, I like to think I manage to convey the high esteem she holds you in. She holds her Darling in such regard, she just doesn't know how to properly protect and care for you.

Oh Vivien is my little guy, I love him so much. I'm glad you enjoy him. He is probably the least dangerous of my yanderes, at least towards Darling (remember, he is technically a serial killer). He has had such a hard life, I can't bring myself to write him in any angst because I just want him to be happy.

Noelle is new and I'm still fleshing her out as a person. She strikes me as someone who stays silent a lot, not because she's shy but just because she has nothing to say to you. But when she's with her sisters or with Ata, she's funny and charming. I think the thing that endears me most to her is her fear of losing what she has. She has clawed her way up from the depths of the hell that was her childhood and now that she has reached the top, she would sooner die than give up her lifestyle, and that includes her Darling. I think she's the most controlling yan (more on this later, random fan I got your ask and I'm working on it, I swear, I'm just balls deep in the neuromuscular junction rn) because of this fear of hers. I should write something to try and shake her to her very core and see what comes out.

Ah, your messages are so kind. I really do find comfort and happiness in kind messages like this. I always want to know what you guys think about the characters and kindness about my writing and my birthday is just the sugar on the cream. It is so easy with blogs like this to turn from a writer to just a content creator churning out as much work as possible to keep the followers happy, but it's messages like this that make me feel human again. Thank you. It means a lot to me to know that I have created a space where people can come to lose themselves in my stories.

And yes, haha, it was my silly lil birthday today. I spent most of it in school or driving but I watched King of the Hill and I studied so it was okay :)

[thegraphitepencils]

i dont know much about Judaism, and i'd love to hear anything you have to say ^^

Hii sorry this is late, we have been packing to move tomorrow !! so we got busy lol

It’s hard to distill everything I love about Judaism into one post, but I’m gonna do my best to give the broad strokes.

Judaism isn’t just a religion, or just a culture. It’s both and it’s beyond. It’s a rich history, a touchstone for a people that have been dispersed and oppressed all over the world and still manage to stay resilient and connected. Jewish community varies so heavily all around the world, European Jews and African Jews and Middle Eastern Jews and Asian Jews etc, so many gorgeous unique traditions. Yet they have the same core, a thread of the same history. You feel like you’re cousins with someone on the other side of the planet who doesn’t share your native language. You connect through sharing food and joy and sorrow and holy days and ancient prayers and the ancestors who first said them. If your nuclear family is shit, then you still have a family in every other Jew around the world.

And converts are part of that family too! It’s said that all Jewish souls, including future ones, were present at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah, and that includes converts. Converts are to be treated as if they were always Jewish as soon as they convert, and you can feel a familiarity in them as soon as they begin their study. It’s very hard to convert, there is so much to learn and it can take years, and converts are revered for that dedication.

Judaism is a culture focused on education, critical thinking, charity, respect, peace, community, kinship. Even in the most stringent orthodox communities, communities with strict gender roles, I know I’ll be safe as a queer trans person even if they don’t fully understand my identity. They may possibly disagree with me (but they may not! there are many queer & ally Orthodox Jews!) but they’ll definitely keep me safe, which is something I can’t honestly say about wider leftist spaces.

It’s a genuine miracle that Judaism has lasted thousands of years after countless genocides and forced fleeing. So many cultures with similar stories to ours have been completely wiped out. But through a mix of tradition and adaptability in equal parts, a dedication to observe our tradition no matter the circumstances, this culture has prevailed and always will. Everyone who tried to kill us for good has failed and always will. There’s something so invigorating and empowering about that, as horrible as all the tragedy has been and continues to be.

Speed round of some Judaism fun facts!

- The Hebrew calendar is based on the lunar cycle, instead of solar like secular time. Currently it’s the year 5784, and the 6th day of Nisan. (Or maybe 7th by now?? Our days also begin at sundown!)

- Our most significant holidays, the High Holy Days, happen in the September-October range

- Virtually any commandment is permitted to be broken if following it could endanger someone’s health. Preservation of human life is beyond all other law. This is known as pikuach nefesh, “to save a soul.”

- The phrase “chosen people” gets misunderstood by gentiles a lot. We like to say we were “chosen to do the dishes.” We get the hard work of following a bunch of commandments gentiles don’t have to, in order to be so dedicated to doing good that we inspire the whole world to do good in their own way. It’s important to note that there is no concept of eternal damnation in Judaism, and there is no consequence for not being Jewish! We don’t proselytize, we don’t see our religion as “the correct one.”

And some recommendations for you!

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (co-founder of ao3!) is a Jewish fantasy novel, mixing multiple classic fairytales with dangerous fae creatures in a Slavic inspired setting. It’s gritty and dark yet so full of warmth and love, with some of the best female characters I’ve encountered in any media. It has so many little bits of Jewish culture sprinkled throughout that makes me giddy to see. And it also has THE best representation of the shape of antisemitism, how it operates and feels to experience. I cannot sing its praises enough.

Karov by Batya Levine is an album we’ve been listening to a lot this past week. Batya is a queer Ashkenazi musician inspired by historic Jewish music, and their stuff is absolutely beautiful. I’m a big fan of these lyrics from them: “we are good, we are flawed, we are the breath of an imperfect G-d.”

Thank you sm for sending an ask, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings!! -Riley

[raayllum]

Hey! In retrospect, this might be kinda obvious to some, but I was just thinking about the scene early in Season 4 where Callum recalls the fact that he's destroyed multiple powerful magic objects/artifacts and I realized that that scene was probably meant to highlight/make it hit harder later in the season when Callum can't do the same thing to the cube and I got excited lmao

So I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about what gets lamp shaded / referred back to specifically in S4 and possibly why, re: exactly what you pointed out, dear nonnie, in 4x02 (which made me Yell the first time around because I loved it as a lamp shade), as well as Rayllum's scene on the Pinnacle in 4x05. So why not talk about about them? If you are curious about more on Callum's "breaking magical objects" pattern I'd recommend this meta as well as this one, although there shouldn't be too much repetition here

Let's go

4x02 - Accidentally on Purpose

Including this shot because it has the Ocean-Star rune combination for the cube, my beloved.

The primal stone, Ethari -> Rayla -> Callum's pendant, and the Moon Henge all shudder. The mirror, too, will shortly be broken, although by Aaravos' own hand rather than Callum's (at least, not directly). This line and pattern also underscores one of Callum's key flaws, as his impulsive flippancy ("'It's the winter lodge, Rayla, no winter no humans' ugh" / "He tried to copy Claudia's lightning spell, but he doesn't know how to finish it!") when it comes to magic is ultimately related to how Selfish he can be. He, like many characters in TDP, can tunnel vision so hard he doesn't see or fully consider the possible consequences of his actions, but I do think Callum has a thread of like internalized focus that makes it stem from selfishness (more akin to perhaps Claudia and Viren) than it does shortsightedness/shame (Rayla) or inadvertent steamrolling (Claudia, Ezran).

For Callum, just knowing magic isn't enough. He's always focused on how he can use it.

"I just don't want to be useless," he said (S2 novelization, set during he and Rayla's late night talk about "I have to be a mage again").

He'd always known that cube was important. Maybe now Rayla would start listening to him... and maybe now he would find out how he could use the mysterious cube. [...] But Callum was awake obsessing over the Key of Aaravos. What could he achieve with it?

Now, does Callum ever mean to be selfish? No, of course not. He doesn't mean to put Rayla and Zym in danger with his pursuit of magic (or his lie to Amaya), but that's what happens anyway. 2x04 has always stood out to me as a particularly interesting episode, precisely because it shows this flaw on full display in ways that S1 could've neatly resolved. In 1x04, Callum pursues magic ultimately to the group's detriment (just how much, depending on what the cube does, remains to be seen). Then in 1x09, through smashing the primal stone (which we'll talk about more in a minute) he puts the group above his pursuit of magic. It's a nice little full circle, and it could've easily been the resolution of this behavioural pattern. But it isn't, so I'm curious to see if/how it'll come back in future seasons (maybe S5) in some capacity.

To me, this is one of the things that make TDP's characterization so realistic. Callum can learn one lesson partially in 1x04 (don't take unnecessary risks) and apply that portion fully in 1x07 (regarding elves and humans), be willing to sacrifice a more tangible pursuit of magic for Zym ("But without this, I'm nothing") in 1x09, but still not fully learn his "Look before you leap when it comes to magic" lesson by the time we roll around in 2x04 or even 2x07 (although the context for the latter is vastly different). Just like how if saving Zym or being a good enough protector could solve Rayla's self worth issues, she would've been totally fine after 1x09, but we see her have the exact same kind of breakdown two seasons later ("This is all my fault. I dropped it. I let you both down. I let the world down" / "It's me, and it's all my fault. I failed them! I let them all down") because well - issues and emotional wounds are not so easily solved.

Anyway, back on topic: what does any of this have to do with S4's lamp shading of Callum's tendency of breaking magical objects?

Well, I think you're right: the Key is seemingly rare, powerful, and possibly sought after by Aaravos. At the very least it's connected to him, and Callum is now terrified of him. But he won't relinquish/destroy it at this present time, so there's a nice contrast there. The cube has a pull over him for whatever reason, whether that's curiosity, it being Harrow's last parting gift to him, or even possibly the fact it was the first thing he and Rayla really bonded over ("Hey sad prince. Let's go get your cube") and his own potential as a mage. He does, after all, look at the moon rune specifically after lowering it.

But I also think it's indicative that the object and conversation Callum is most directly referencing is this one with Claudia in 2x02 about breaking their joint primal stone:

Which was pretty noble, and inspired a very strong character arc for Callum, full of struggle and interesting character aspects. Breaking the primal stone wasn't the ideal situation for him by any means, but it was undeniably the Right Thing To Do. On the surface, there's nothing to be worried about... except:

I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. (Patience, TDP reflections)

The Whole World is like a Giant Primal Stone. When backed into a corner and able to save someone he loves and/or cares about, Callum is willing to sacrifice his own source of power. He's willing to bend his morals and do dark magic. He's willing to jump off a cliff with just the faintest hope he can grow wings and save them both. We also know that Callum, either within a possessed state or outside of it, has to play into Aaravos' hands, otherwise it is unlikely the Startouch elf would be released (and he has to be released).

Which, all of this also works fairly well in tandem with

4x05 - You saved me

So Rayllum's scene on the Pinnacle is one of my favourite scenes between them in the season, as well as one of the most interesting. After all, the Pinnacle is the place for quite a few important Rayla and Callum moments in season three: Rayla finding out the truth about her mum and dad, thanks to Callum; Callum trying to tell her that he loves her for the first time (which Soren's interruption also lampshades); and of course when Callum jumps off the Pinnacle to save her. And while Soren's dialogue is a more comedic callback to the second one, Rayla's dialogue calls to mind the latter:

(Callum's face only falls in the second screencap when she gets to "certain death," by the way.)

It's not entirely clear why Callum starts crying when he looks away, as he has a lot of reasons to (the fear of what Aaravos may make him do, thus turning him into something that hurts people rather than saves them; the fact that he's had only like, 1.5 days to process the return of the love of his life and all those complicated feelings) but he does start crying. Rayla then does her best to help, but doesn't get a chance to, and it's not clear if Callum would've let her, either.

But I thought the emphasis on "saving" was interesting, to say the least. Why not be more explicit about the way this was the first time they said "I love you"? Some note of "so much has changed, but not everything's changed" from Rayla, if they wanted a nudge of some sort. Or it could've been something about Rayla's parents, grateful that she was able to forgive them and realize the truth, that'd they'd left for "a good cause".

Well, I think the most straight forward thing is first, that Callum and Rayla are a couple who has always been very defined by reciprocally saving each other; Callum defends them from the smoke wolves, Rayla defends them from Runaan, etc. Rayla saves everyone (Bait, Ezran, Zym, the downed dragon), and Callum saves her (1x05, 2x04, 2x07, 3x09). The second is that S5, if it brings back Callum's possession plot line (and it likely will, with the emphasis on darkness and drowning from some of the TDP shorts for the season: "Soren gasped the darkness like water into his lungs. He could not breathe. He was drowning") Rayla is probably going to the one to ultimately save him from it, somewhat due to the light and dark symbolism as well (Rayla showing up haloed in moonlight with the cube on her shoulder).

An emphasis on how Arc 1 culminated in a big show of love as Callum saved Rayla, if Rayla is going to be the one to successfully save Callum from brainwashing next season (and restore to her that "We can't save everyone" isn't true after all) makes a lot of sense, especially with it foreshadowed / spelled out more directly in this quote from the Book One Moon novelization:

“Wow. So they look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said.

“Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

She's certainly not going to kill him and thus, Rayla has to save him. There we get that mutual reciprocation, especially when she left in TTM to try and save/spare him - it'd be a good way for her to realize that the best way to save/protect him is to stay, right here, with him instead. She'll risk the world ("You let him live but you killed us all" "You have two choices: you all die, or just the evil wretched human dies"), and it'll be worth it.

However, as I've already said, Callum has to play into Aaravos' hands in order for the Startouch elf to get out. And Aaravos is clearly pretty confident it'll happen, whether precisely because Callum is worried because of the possession (a more likely manipulation tactic) or due to the possession itself (less likely, as why reveal your checkmate move ahead of time?).

Rayla realizing she can save Callum is also, indeed, only one piece of the puzzle. She also has to realize that she deserves to be saved, which 4x05 seems like a step in the right direction of (she's happy and lovey about it, not guilty) even if her self worth issues are still very prevalent: "This is all my fault. I left [Soren] alone. I shouldn't have—" as well as trying repeatedly to go off on her own.

So 4x05 emphasizing the last time Callum saved her, setting up that he'll also save her again (and possibly risk the primal stone world again, helping to free Aaravos in exchange for also freeing Rayla) in S5?

He'll risk the world, and it'll be worth it.