#That's twice now I've been through this

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

If you're a Hazbin Hotel Kinnie that's not your own O.C I officially have beef with you. I'm in my "Anti Kinnie" villain era and I'm done.

First of all, I'm so sorry for not having proper context for the screenshots, dude was typing at me so fast and just attacking me so quickly and refused to let up for me to catch my breath, and I knew if I was gonna say what I needed to say and bounce, then I knew that I had to start getting those screen shots quick because I knew how this situation escalated was gonna be so fucking funny, man...

All this for saying that if I was Viv, I probably wouldn't have *confirmed* the cannibalistic Serial Killer as being her only asexual representation and people had a right to critique it and then this Alastor Kinnie in this 21+ server with me turned it into "so you don't want Viv's characters to be morally gray and evil even though they're in hell?' and I was like: "I literally didn't say that", and then "Al" ignored me, and I didn't feel like being attacked and ganged up on by another group of radiodust kinnie, so I went off and said my piece and was clearly about to leave:

Cue these weebs acting like I literally did not say I was just leaving or was about to, and acting like Brandon Rogers ableism doesn't exist:

But see, now I'm apparently "transphobic" and in need of "a warning", even though I clearly deadass just said the words "OH BABY I'm already gone ... "

AGAIN LETS JUST IGNORE HOW 'ROLLING ROBBIE' DISRESPECTED DISABLED PEOPLE AND HOW I WAS 'BOUT TO SAY THAT THIS GUYS KINNIE S/O SHOULD JUST PICK A DIFFERENT NAME IF HE WANTS ME TO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY BECAUSE, FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AREN'T REAL ....

(Blatantly ignoring how I just implied/said I would be leaving/not acknowledging how Rogers' BLATANT ABLEISM is fucked up to begin with, because as soon as I mention any sort of ableism in this fandom I'm the one who needs to "cool off" again, acting and talking at me as though I hadn't already made up my mind, making new edits to the conversation my crippled arse can't even keep up with.. Acting like having a fictional characters name for your chosen Queer Name and then shouting "TRANSPHOBE!" when people make fun of you for it isn't already the most High School thing ever...When I know that in turn if I jokingly replied that I can't "Take a step back" because wheelchair user, their big ol' anime titties would have exploded... )

(I literally introduced myself into this server as a High Femme Queer Trans She/They, aspiring Drag Artist.. Why does the Angel Kinnie get to call out my perceived "transphobia" for implying his beloved Alastor Kinnie should just pick a different name, before their "husband" attacks me like he's being discriminated against for just saying we could've avoided a lot of weirdness in the fandom around the sexuality of the radio demon and the concept of asexuality in general if The CHARACTER who kills and eats people just wasn't the one to be confirmed asexual? But then the Alastor Kinnie is just allowed to get away with calling me "bro" here, even though I'm obviously the most feminine presenting person in the conversation, and, as far as I know, the only actual girl involved in this conversation? Why am I being misgendered? If I pretty much said I was a girl when I got in here, then why are you calling me "Bro"? #Hypocritical #Transphobic Transfemmephobic. #Femmephobia #WomenHating #MenHatingWoman #Misogyny Guess this particular Alastor Kinnie absorbed a little bit too much of Edward's "Dude Bro" personality into his own gender presentation so #BlameBosco for that one, I guess? Did I mention that Edward Bosco keeps getting squicked out by kinnies cause they're weird? Well he's right, they're weird. )

(And again, as you can probably make out, these people are still talking about me as if I wasn't the one to start announcing my intention to leave and in the above image are still talking at me as if I didn't basically just tell everyone to fuck off. So we ignored me bringing up Brandon Rogers ableism and then this dorkis just lets his kinnie husband outright misgender me for real and then this weirdo can't even be fucked to unfollow me on here afterward so then I have to be the one to do the blocking. Great.)

But not before ladies get the final word... ;)

( Yes this server owner is also the kind of person who censors the names of fictional characters they don't like, FYI. And all these radiodust kinnie couples just seem to bleed into eachother, don't they? Especially if the Angel Dust kinnie also just so happens to be an Italian femmeboy trans who also happened to be a sex worker and I'm gonna be called "whorephobic" now, but hot tip: If you claim to be/ have done sex work in the past, maybe then it's time to move past the need to "kin" your comfort characters if you don't want all the mean little girls out there that you misgender and all mean Mommie Doms out there who hate cartoons to laugh at you because this shit is why they're laughing and this shit is why they hate you and this this shit is why I'm starting to hate you too. And I'm saying this as someone who had to learn that lesson the hard way okay? Okay. So glad we cleared that up. )

(And yeah this person was 29 years old the same as me... SO! SO MUCH FOR A 21+ HAZBIN HOTEL DISCORD SERVER NAMED FOR A GODDAMN FUCKING CHILDREN'S TOY SHOP I DON"T DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING BUT AS SOON AS HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT CENSORING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS NAMES LIKE SLURS I KNEW I WOULDN'T LAST LONG GURL. LOL! )

Putting the transcript of my last message to this douche bag "pastamic" under 'readmore' with more corrected spelling cause I'm so exhausted. And Anti Kinnie. ^_^

To "pastamic":

You know …. I literally just left your server and I don't care if you're "literally married". I literally said you're the second radiodust kinnie couple I had issues with and I don't care. I am a nonbinary transgender, queer drag artist and just like every other disabled person, had a period where I thought I was a sex repulsed asexual. I'm not "transphobic" for saying I felt uncomfortable calling your s/o "Alastor" after feeling attacked by him and expressing you're literally the second pair of radiodust kinnies in love that I've had issue with because FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE NOT REAL. Valentino isn't real for that matter ether, so you don't need to censor his name like a slur. You also have bad taste in Hazbin Fan Music. You're 29 years old please get a life.

[buck2eddie]

ryan guzman on everybody wants some!! (2016)

[astarlightmonbebe]

i'm only at the beginning of li tongguang's descent into obsession (eps 17-18), but already it's both hurting and hitting. hurting, because we know li tongguang's capabilities, and his level headedness, and the potential he has, that he seems to throw out due to this obsession. hitting, because when you think about it, the obsession storyline and characterization does make perfect sense. obsession like that is a double edged blade, which can turn from love to hate, childish belief and joy to embittered rage in a second.

on one hand, it's painful to watch ltg's childlike desperation when faced with ruyi again. we want to grit our teeth and think of him as idiotic, unable to take a hint. but the reality is that it's a completely normal response to be expected from him. i mean, it's a dream come true, to see the person you 'love' the most in the world to be whole in front of you. it's probably what he could only dream about, especially being the one to apparently find her bones and bury them.

on a deeper level, ltg's initial reaction is very much a manifestation of his inner child, almost peter pan-like in the 'child that never became an adult/grew up' way. by that i mean to say the desperate urge to please, the constant worrying, and the oscillation between hot and cold moods are all so indicative of someone who grew up in an insecure/unstable environment, usually with volatile or simply unavailable authority figures. from what we can gather, he had no father, his mother wasn't in his life ("she doesn't want him around, nor can she bear for him to be away, so that's why he's like that" per empress zhaojie's words to ruyi). the one authority figure that entered his life to offer some semblance of guidance was ruyi, and even though it's clear that she held care for him, she was also a twenty year old assassin used to training subordinates, not children. her mentorship style is clearly so different when you hold ltg and yang ying side by side, and we know from ruyi's own mouth that she doesn't consider herself to have taught ltg well, and wants to remedy that through/with yang ying (i'll probably make a whole different post comparing this and the affects of this after watching some more episodes lol - there are bullet points in the drafts). so even though ruyi was his authority figure, she was still an emotionally unavailable one who couldn't meet ltg on the level he probably needed at that time in his life, and which no one probably ever did. hence his up and down reaction and actions.

it intrigues me, too, because i think, in a very subtle way, ltg is very much a character foil to ruyi in that he reflects some of her worst attributes, or more accurately represents the sort of person she was, or at least acted like (yuan lu's comment about how ltg has ruyi's gaze was meaningful outside of the jealousy arc - to me at least). i saw someone make a really interesting comment on how ltg's devotion to ruyi parallels ruyi's own devotion to empress zhaojie, which i'll also probably comment on more later.

obviously, ltg's obsession stems from an issue much larger than ruyi herself - she just happens to be the unfortunate target of it. and, clearly, i know his descent into it will be ugly, if understandable. i understand ruyi wanting to leave that part of her life behind, but also - to think that maybe many of the issues faced in future eps could have been avoidable if she'd been upfront with li tongguang about her identity early on.

[theimpossiblescheme]

Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...

Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved

Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.

I know who you are...

But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.

... and I know you are loved.

But God, they wish they didn't have to.

[pollen]

hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy

[breitzbachbea]

🙈🙉🙊for Robert!

HIM! (sexual AND murderous intent).

I mean, look at what @ironic-orange did with him. I am not immune to fictional toxic men.

OC Emoji Questions

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

Vulnerability. He will not let himself be perceived as potentially weak, be it physical or emotionally. He'll hide injuries or grit his teeth and keep going, even if he bitches. He'll never appear insecure in front of anyone. If he's lost control, he'll start raging trying to get it back - and even when other people don't perceive something he did as failure, if he will, he won't let it go and won't forgive himself. Even in his flirting he's never vulnerable and rarely ever was with romantic partners, even when he's sappy and corny he sees that as being in control, even if others may perceive it as being a sappy and lovestruck. (Those people, however, do not see that as flaw. Tahir is fond of Robert's doting attention and all the women who're into him think it's cute).

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

Won't stand for people messing with his friends. He doesn't have many principles but loyality and being a good leader is one of them. Now, he doesn't wear kid gloves with the subordinates or even the other two of the executive suite, but that only goes back to the previous answer. When good work's been done, he will pat you on the back and the tough loving IS loving.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

"You're not a man, you're just a loser."

Robert's been a loser and a 'problem' for most of his life, being good at something and earning respect via violence is how he compensates. It's the reason why it hurts him so hard to fail. Being a 'man', being a good leader and effective right hand is all he got. What other good qualities are there in Robert Bailey? None, as far as he's often concerned.

This ask also made me rethink how I will have to approach his change of heart at the end of English Hunt. After the American story, when he's gotten his revenge on Charlie in such a way that made the Americans really upset with the English, he's getting the cold shoulder from the other two. Naturally, he stubbornly refuses to apologise and examine why he's in the wrong here ... until Edward Taylor, who got hurt, at the end asks him during a sick visit if he couldn't be less homophobic when he rightly rants about Charlie, because he's gay. In the past I always thought that Eddie, being the sweet golden boy he is, would just be vulnerable and honest and that sign of trust, that realization of betrayal on his part would make Robert reconsider. But that's unlikely with all that I laid out.

Instead, I think, Eddie and the others must have talked about telling Robert and when Eddie can't gather the courage to broach it, someone else must have intervened (like Eliza) and told Robert - well, that. "Sir, don't you the entire gay thing is tired. Eddie's gay and you're making it sound like that's Higgins only flaw. Don't you have better insults that doesn't make us embarassed of you?"

[skrunksthatwunk]

wait why is dmc1 good

[dragonji]

being a student is always going so well until it Isn't .

[razzek]

That feel when you have an NLS ereader to read braille with and can download from a huge selection of books translated into braille but all you want is to reread @chucktingleofficial Camp Damascus for the third time only this time with your own hands and all that's available is the sneek peak preview from months ago. Noooo!

[kalique]

fun fact about me. it has been all gorillaz all the time for a solid 2 weeks

[masquenoire]

Just a quick update about a few things! The job issue was sorted out and everything’s fine so no longer stressing out about that! I am a bit mentally and emotionally drained though so will probably take it easy today and tomorrow, just focusing on some chores for now as well as playing a game (Pokémon Wilds) so I should get back on track with roleplaying again very soon! Thanks for being patient with me, everybody. ♡

[nagmaskarangungo]

🎉🎉🎊🎇🎆 WAHOOO 🎆🎇🎊🎉🎉

IM FUCKING BACK OMG!??!?!!?!??!??!?

thank you [tumblr] but also PESTENG YAWA NIMO [tumblr]

[liebelesbe]

my dad is going to a big. whatever it's called tomorrow where lots of people will be selling records & I wanna go too but it's in Nürnberg and just driving there would be too exhausting to me :(

[reitziluz]

i'm finally getting some practical therapy starting in march, and i've been thinking about what my goals for it would be.

i'm not entirely sure, but i think the kind of therapy i mean translates into occupational therapy in english? instead of psychotherapy, it's a kind of therapy where the therapist comes to your house and helps you figure out how to get more done in your day. or how you could enable yourself to do the things you want to do.

i think for me, the highest tier sign of things working would be if i was able to write enough of a buffer to do a period where i post two chapters per month. that'd be cool.

[jimines]

.

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

GUYS GUYS GUYS i finally get to graduate in september eeeeee :D