#The reason I did that was because 1. I did actually sketch multiple very sad if not outright dreary comics exploring some tough themes

[utilitycaster]

you getting push back on that post is crazy to me isn't it enough to watch and get invested in something for what it is currently rather than what it will be? I have so many unfinished projects in my own life it'd be crazy to demand polished completion from everything I watch/read. my unfinished sketches and embroidery and abandoned dnd campaigns still brought joy and growth without having a polished thing to present at the end

So what's funny to me is like. I have referenced this before here and elsewhere but like, as a child, I was SO bad at ambiguous and sad endings and my mother was like, not unkind about this, but neither did she coddle it, and I think that laid a groundwork that was really necessary.

My tags, which got lost bc I did NOT expect that post to break containment, do actually touch on how Netflix and other streaming services canceling things to avoid paying people a fair wage fucking suck but yeah here's a list of creative endeavors I participated in or watched/listened to/read that do not as of this posting have endings and I still liked, and many of them aren't even directly attributable to capitalism because this is just a fact of life and art.

As mentioned, both A Song of Ice and Fire and the Kingkiller Chronicles.

Multiple D&D campaigns for sure (I actually don't make D&D characters without a game in mind and find it weird that people do and so I'm like why am I the one arguing for the beauty of the incomplete).

Multiple fics, both mine and others.

King Falls AM, a podcast I binged in like 2018-2019 and despite being a mystery never actually completed bc the creators couldn't agree.

I think Battlestar Galactica 2003 is one of the most brilliant shows of its era and also the finale, which happened when the creators intended it to, is really dumb, and that doesn't undo the fact that I loved everything else.

How I Met Your Mother ends really poorly in a way that arguably undercuts the whole series, but like, I still liked that too.

Ditto for Chuck, which also struggles in that it was on the chopping block most seasons so they kept ending in ways that probably weren't true to whatever the original vision may have been.

I saw Firefly on DVD after it had already been canceled, I think Serenity is good but I don't love all the choices, and Joss Whedon has since been revealed to be a dick but like, I enjoyed myself greatly while watching it.

As mentioned, Heroes. I didn't watch much TV until my teens anyway because we didn't have cable and our reception sucked and we were very much a book household, and this was one of the first series I recall watching from season 1 and it's also the first TV series where I was like yeah I don't care anymore, and it went on for 4 seasons and I think I gave up either late S2 or early S3.

I didn't watch Supernatural, Game of Thrones, nor Grey's Anatomy but all of those are famous for outstaying their welcome, sometimes it's better to burn out than fade away, etc.

I had already long outgrown Harry Potter and started to see its limitations by the time Rowling's transphobia became public but like, now it's not something I would ever recommend to my friends' kids or anything, and that doesn't undo the fact that I did greatly enjoy it as a child and teenager; it was indirectly the reason why I was introduced to the superior fantasy of Diana Wynne Jones, which I do still reread from time to time. (I think the "well I never liked it" mentality about works from artists who end up being terrible people is tied into the "I can't get invested in anything that might end in an unsatisfying manner." Tumblr University's media studies grads are not the brightest stars in the firmament, that's for sure.)

Like, cancellation (let alone cancellation specifically because of the unique shittiness of streaming services) is just one of the many reason things might end in a way you dislike or become difficult for you to enjoy at a later date, and that's just talking about television. Are you really going to deny yourself the joy of anticipation and watching a story unfold in real-time because the thought of something not satisfying you at every single turn is so unfathomable?

(oh, and because this is, as we know, a CR blog much of the time, I should add that this mentality is really pervasive which is wild because your average 3-season canceled Netflix show is probably the equivalent of maybe 9-10 CR episodes; thinking about how many people who now claim C2 is terrible watched 141 episodes and also the person who is iconic to me who unironically asked me what the point was in getting invested in characters who will die re: Chetney)

[vynnyal]

One year and 2000 (2000??) whole followers later, and I'm still here, drawing bugs like a maniac. As a lil celebration I compiled a few pics of the sibs, just to see how their designs evolved over time :)

Poor Hornet became more and more rounded and short, lmao. Still plenty spicy tho!

Lil thk, despite drawing them so often I made a 3d model for their head, hasn't had a full-body pic since 2019. Sweats

And then theres ghost, who has really just become happier and more expressive in general. Tis the fate of ghost ���

Till next year! \o/

[peebeexd]

OHHH ?? HI YES ID LOVE TO HEAR UR HEADCANON(s) HIIII im sitting criss cross apple sauce

ok ok so i actually have a document filled with headcannons from bfb/tpot there isnt very much but here are some i have (the ones that are bolded are the ones i based my crappy sketch on from earlier)

• Puffball hates having to fly people around everywhere so they purposely stopped changing sizes so people dont beg them to fly them around as much. Unfortunately, people still ask her to fly them around and its driving her insane.

Every single time Tennis ball goes into Golf ball’s lab with out her knowing, he leaves little toy dinosaurs in hidden areas and sees how long it takes for her to notice. She’s only found 1 out of the 1000+ dinos he’s hidden (based of something i did when i was around 9 whenever i went into my brother’s room on my own lol)

Pen is embarrassed of his drawings ever since X said harshly critisized him in bfb 5 so now he hides them from everyone, including his best friends (Blocky, Eraser, Snowball). All of his friends are sad because of this and actively encourage him to show his drawings because Pen’s drawings are really good. Pen is very slowly starting to get his confidence back (based on bfb 5)

Fries sometimes eats his own fries’ when no one is looking. Gelatin caught him once and now whenever Fries gets mad at him for taking a fry, he says something along the lines of “but how come you can eat your own fries and i cant?? Unfair! >:(“ and half-jokingly throws a tantrum. This makes Fries embarrassed (half-based of the bfdi recommended character introductions)

Stapy chews on hard things (metal, wood, plastic, etc.) a lot for no reason. This would normally be fine, except for the fact that he has raser sharp teeth and usually breaks things that he keeps chewing. He’s broken multiple pencils, pens, and has even bitten a massive chunk out of his E.X.I.T desk once because of this (based of the time a kid in my class bit so hard on his pen that he broke it)

Fries has a really bad fear of the dark that’s been with him ever since he was a kid and every single time he is in the dark, he always acts like he’s unafraid until he hears something/someone and then he goes into the fetal position and bawls his eyes out

Puffball gets anxious and panicky in the dark only because they can’t see shit, but they don’t actually have a fear of the dark

Barf bag has trouble walking because her knee keeps dislocating and relocating all the time and is supposed to wear a knee brace to keep the knee in place but never wears it because she can’t be fucked having to readjust the brace every 10 minutes (based on me heavily projecting on the ‘Barf bag has a walking disability’ theory because 1. i actually really like this theory a lot and 2. i need a character to vent my frustrations)

Bell hates birds, not because they scare her or anything like that, its because they always get tangled up in her string and squawk until eventually it either set free, or unfortunately it passes (usually its set free and rarely ever dies). That and also birds love to shit all over Bell lmao

Naily likes knives and has a knife collection. Her favorite knife is a rainbow dagger that has a purple handle and the blade sorta resembles a heart

Fries has a tiny, fluffy, bobtail cat named “Puffy” (named after Puffball because the kitten reminds him of them). Puffball found out this and was offended. Not because of the name, but because Fries never told them about the kitten because Puffball absolutely LOVES cats

Tennis ball has a intense fear of dogs, running away from one in fear any single time he sees one. This includes small puppies aswell. Golf ball found out this when he woke her up at 3 AM, begging for her to let him inside her house after being chased by a small toy poodle. (based off a fanfic i wrote a while ago)

Foldy likes jumpscaring people a lot because she finds it cute/funny. She’s had many things happen when she’s jumpscared someone, but by far one of the funniest things that has happened was Markers 5 second delayed scream of death

Puffball really likes hugs but is often to embarrassed to ask anyone for a hug

Bell has a bad habit of subconsciously whacking someone in the face when she gets scared. One time Puffball scared her by accident and gave them a concussion

Profily often cries themself to sleep because nobody ever seems to remember them, not even their own family (the only person who remembers him is Announcer speaker box and they are 100% in a relationship because i said so [fact])

Puffball is really scared of sleeping but tries their best to hide the fear by pretending to be asleep until everyone is asleep and then just does whatever. Golfball found out and now tries her best to make Puffball calm and tired so they can fall asleep without being absolutely terrified.

Puffball likes flying higher than anyone else to seem taller than everyone they know

thats about it! sorry most of them are of my fav characters lol [cries] I'll make another post with more headcannons later on :)

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 137 Poll Results

This month’s poll results brought to you by: staraves, crunchwrap, momtaku, and Giovata

Important!! This month’s poll is looooooong so click the read more knowing you’ll be scrolling for a long while.

Also new this month, data junkies rejoice! if you’d like to see all 131 pages of write-ins from this month you can. View as doc or pdf

  RATE THE CHAPTER 2,188 Responses

Chapter 137, “Titans”, was one of the most polarizing chapters in recent memory, provoking strong reactions both positive and negative.  When we compiled the results, the chapter averaged 4.09 on a 1-5 scale, which places it 37th out of the 47 chapters we’ve ranked. No matter how you view it, it’s still a solid rating.

it was beautiful!!

While the pacing was somewhat spotty, overall, the chapter was absolutely fantastic and very fulfilling and answered a lot of the things I had wanted answered.

i was surprised by the events and was left crying and speechless

I'm never judging a chapter by leaks again. This was awesome!

Regardless of how good the next two chapters are, they won’t fix this one. 126 was bad, but it was just bad. This is bad and disappointing.

I realised that there are 2 chapters left so I read it peacefully while crying

It was a great setup for the final

I mean, this is complete shit and I've completely given up hope in the ending, but at least the story finally progressed at little this chapter.

i thought it was amazing. sad, yes, but amazing. i loved reading zeke and armin’s conversation in the Paths. i just really hope eren doesn’t die. with all the deaths that’s happened, his is the only one i won’t be able to bare. i already lost my favorite character, sasha, i can’t lose him too.

I had no reason to cry but I did anyways 👍

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 2,169 Responses

Before we get to the MVP results we’d like to make one quick shout out to a past poll. In 135 we asked who would be the one to detonate the explosives. Of the 1,121 responses that month, only 29 people correctly predicted it would be Jean. So while Jean only received 6.8% of the MVP vote for this act, we think those 29 people deserved some acknowledgement.

With Zeke and Armin comprising more than 20 pages of the chapter, it’s no surprise the majority of favorite moments centered around them. “Zeke and Armin’s discussing of the meaning of life” garnered one-fifth of all responses (20.2%), followed by “Zeke seeing the beauty of the world” (14.7%).  “Levi making good on his promise” (14.5%) was the third most selected option. “Armin reminiscing about the happy moments of his past”  was fourth (13.6%). The final option with double digit results was the cliffhanger ending,  “Armin saying goodbye to Eren before exploding” (10.3%).

everything in this chapter was amazing, there's literally nothing that doesn't makes me happy (except Zeke's death, it made me cry-)

Zeke‘s reflection and death are my favorite panels in the manga. It lives rent free in my mind. This is my favorite chapter of the manga so far.

I liked how Isayama had Jean reuse the suicidal blockhead nickname

I loved seeing Levi take a sort of protective, fatherly role when helping Gabi take out the Okapi Titan. And seeing him finally fulfill his promise and vow to Erwin is refreshing and makes me feel happy.

I loved the conversation between Zeke and Armin. Zeke was always nihilistic, he saw life as dry and meaningless. Armin is on the opposite - he found the meaning of life in the little happy moments. He taught Zeke that life isn't only about multiplication , but about higher, happier and more spiritual things, like love, having fun or watching sunsets and sunrises. I'm glad that Zeke found his own meaning of life and understood that there was nothing wrong about him being born on this world and he would do it once again, if he had a chance. We can add their conversation to the list of the best conversations in the manga.

it was a great chapter, and Armin & Zeke's talk was the highlight for me.

i love that scene where levi was protecting gabi from falling off falco's titan

Armin transforming and saying bye to Eren gave me absolute chills.

♡ This chapter has one of the touching scenes on AOT, because of everyone's helos moment, the unexpected character development, the fulfillment of the promise, worthy sacrifices, the reunion of the well known past titan shifters especially helping all the alliances, and the unexpected goodbyes.

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP? 2,165 Responses

There were two stand-outs in this chapter. Zeke won MVP by an Eldian ass hair at 35.9% of the vote, with Armin a smidge behind at 35.5%. Third place goes to a truly majestic cameo by the Cambrian explosion at 8.4%. Honorable mentions go to the horse in fourth (6.1%), Levi with his head-spinning moves (5.4%), and Reiner (maybe) Helos Braun (4.9%).

I LOVE ZEKEEKEKKEKE

MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN MAJESTIC ARMIN

Not crazy about Armin's "Talk no Jitsu" being the end-all solution but I reluctantly voted him MVP because there is no way in hell the brat who killed Sasha deserves anything like it even without being in only one panel

Zeke and Armin carried the chapter, after Levi and Gabi.

Falco is still best boy

Zoook <3

  WE BID FAREWELL TO THE BEAST TITAN THIS CHAPTER WITH THE DEATH OF ZEKE. LONG-TIME FOLLOWERS OF THE MANGA WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST SKETCH OF THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE INTRODUCED AS THE ONE HOLDING THE KEY TO THE STORY. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE WAY HE WENT OUT? 2,177 Responses

Looking back at that old sketch, it really does feel like the end of an era. 44.6% of respondents thought Zeke’s end was a good and poetic way to go out. 29% were sad to see him go but were glad he had some agency - even throwing out a last bit of sass at Levi! 12.4% didn’t like how it happened as it was somewhat sudden and maybe not as epic as it could’ve been. 7.6% question if it’s really the end for Zeke quite yet, and 6.4% have no strong opinions about it.

A fitting end for a great character

I think his ending was very poetic but could have been executed much better.

In terms of writing, he was the third best character in the post-time skip section of the story. He deserved a better ending.

funny monke man... I...

10/10 character, one of my all time favourites. In theory, I like the idea of him sacrificing himself to stop Eren, but with the build up he had (mainly the way Grisha said he would save everyone) it was an extremely disappointing death.

I love him and via development. The thing is that the way he was killed was rushed as fuck and kinda killed my enjoyment of his last moments. If worked better, pretty sure I would have cried.

I really liked the way Zeke's character arc ended, and he remains one of my favorite characters in the series.

I'm happy that he appreciated life at the end. I wish he could survive this

He was an incredible character. I'm going to miss the monkey.

i have always loved zeke as a character, his personality and everything about him was just amazing, kinda sad he's gone now but atleast he got an epic death

I have loved Zeke since the beginning and I am so sad he is gone. But thankfully his death was well-done and he went out happily, realizing the true beauty of the world.

I was underwhelmed...I hoped to get much more out of him than what we did. But I guess this is expected when you introduce like 10 new characters and try to cram their entire arcs in less than 30 chapters at the expense of the original protagonists' (I'm not salty...I swear...).

I'm happy that his arc ended the way it did. As the above question said, it was poetic. But more than anything else, it was meaningful.

i dont rlly care bout him before, but when he died i cried. idk why lol 👴

he deserved so much better

I wanted him to die, but not killed by Levi.

He's not dead

I was actually affected more by his final words rather than his death. I think Isayama concluded his character pretty well. Now he can finally play catch in peace.

  HOW HAS YOUR OPINION OF ZEKE CHANGED WITH THIS CHAPTER? 2,164 Responses

47.1% already liked or loved Zeke before this chapter. 22.5% felt much softer towards him after this chapter but not enough to really say they like him. 21.5% enjoyed his chill philosopher side so much they would’ve liked to see more of him after all. Finally, 8.9% were not convinced and still don’t care for him.

I've always found him interesting. I love how his role in the story evolved as time went on. One of the best characters in Attack on Titan.

I mean, when they released his flashbacks as a child, I already started sympathising with him. Also his paths adventure with Eren. But this chapter really solidified it for me. The guy was just a sad boy who wanted love and thought he was doing the right thing.

He was an "end justify the means " person. I don't like him still.

I mean... it was nice to see him realise that he wouldn't mind being born again, but I was still a bit miffed by the fact that he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (it sort of diluted the impact of the conversation between him and Armin). Also liked that he acknowledged the innocent people he had murdered, so I'd give his character a 6/10.

my rating on him went up a lot, but i do think that it was a bit quick for him to turn

Isayama finally got me to feel for him in the end, but it took a damn long time.

wow he actually almost grew up in his last moments, congrats to him

Probably my favourite character now.

♡ All this time I've been hating Zeke. Call me childish but I do even hate him more to the extent that I wan't him to die a horrible death, just because he gave problems to my fave character Levi. But now that he's changed and gone I feel bad and sad. But I accepted his fate and that he is dead for good.

I've always enjoyed Zeke's character. Ever since picking up the manga after Season 1 what feels like an eternity ago and he's one of my favorite characters. That being said... This chapter made me dislike him a bit.

His character was ruined in a single chapter.

His growth has been interesting to watch. I was somewhat lukewarm on him before this chapter, but his willingness open his mind and accept the life given to him made me appreciate him much more.

I never liked Zeke but at the end I really liked his character development

he’s still a dick

I am a lot more at peace with his character with the development of the recent chapters. I can't say the same for my first impression of him and what he did to Erwin's gang. Still he's a very well written chatacter and I wish he got more moments to bond with Grisha.

I thought something important or something big were gonna happen but then boom he died

I used to hate him but the more get got to know him the more I understood his character. Overall an intresting and well written charcter.... i still hate him tho hahaha but less than before.

I used to hate him but when they showed his past & how he didn’t get love from anyone I started to really like & understand him

I used to hate him tbh but after chapter 137 he turned into one of my favorite characters to bad hes dead 😔

Honestly his story hit me a lot harder than expected, and it was amazing to see him go from totally nihilistic to a little hopeful at his last moments

Honestly I'm just impressed by that long journey. I've don't recall ever changing my opinion on a single character so many times.

I hated him from the beginning for what he did to Mike, and his actions during RtS didn't improve my opinion either. Even his sad backstory didn't influence how I felt about him. And then in chapter 137 a tiny miracle happened, and moments before he died I actually felt something. Sadness. Empathy. Respect, even.  Goodbye Zeke, you were a great character.

  ZEKE’S HAD QUITE A JOURNEY, FROM SCARY MONKE TO MEME MONKE TO SAD MONKE TO ENLIGHTENED MONKE. NOW THAT HE’S GONE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS, WHETHER POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE, ON ZEKE’S CHARACTER AS A WHOLE? 1,199 Responses

We had A LOT of responses to this one - we’ve included as many as possible without the list becoming absurdly long! If you’d like to see all of the write-ins, go back to the top of this document for the full link.

I loved Zekes character. Even as he attacked Paradis Island you could see his methodical viewpoint on their roles in all of this. He always was working the end game and their ability to not be used as pawns. We may not have always agreed with his path and believe me, there were moments I hated him. So many, but he also knew his moment in this time and what his role was. His death was a righteous one and I loved that Levi was able to fulfill his promise.

I thought his character was probably one of the best in the story, with a very well defined beliefs/viewpoint and a bunch of interesting characterwork.

I'll miss the Zook memes

I'm glad he got to understand that the world is beautiful before dying, I was angry because of all the things he did but chapter by chapter I came to realise  how sad his life was, he only had little moments to be happy and be a normal kid/person, I'm not justifying his actions but I'm not judging him either.

I'm going to miss him :/

I love Zeke as a character. He is well written on his own and also has a drastic effect on a lot of characters. I think that Zeke realizing that there are other ways to look at life and his way was not the most convenient one makes the viewer realize that no one is wrong and no one is right. I think his death was pleasing enough and he look liked he didn't have major regrets in life, other than the one he discussed with Armin.

At first he seemed to me a very cruel and conflictive character but he has had a great development and a dignified closing for his unfortunate path

Top 5 best written character

IF ONLY GRISHA THREW A FUCKING BALL AT HIM ONCE IN A WHILE :((((((

A complex and well written and likable however I still can't forgive him after Erwin

A good character, definitely one of the most interesting of SnK.

a good guy(?) at least he's listening

A good written character , loved his arc and how it ended

I think Zeke was one of the only characters that had some understandable motivations.

"Go back, I want to be monke!"

He was a really important character to the whole plot. His presence always influences the story heavily. I am kinda neutral to what to feel about him.

He was a typical Yeager - only the way he believed should be what all the others had to believe too. So I was glad that he turned around in this last chapter of his.

He was a walking meme then and now he is one of the most complex characters in the series, maybe with another father he would have been happy

He was a well defined character, with adequate back-story to understand his perspective. I cannot say he was likeable or relatable though, except from the moments he was showing some kindness to his subordinates.

He was always a good guy

He was always alone

he was always being used and now i’m crying

he was badass but still idiot

He was brainwashed with no good childhood..i feel sorry for him

He was brought up as kid without loves from his own parents until mister Tom ksaver shows him love and take good care of him as if Zeke was his son so there’s no negative thought about him as he need to do what he need to in order to save the world

Isayama once called him the ""key of the story"", and indeed he was : his character arc concluding to a philosophical answer to his existencial angst that brings forward the key statement of the story : the world is cruel but beautiful.

i felt bad for they way he grew up and when he saw how Grisha actually took care of Eren. i enjoyed his character development

I found him to be quite intriguing. His double cross of both Marley and his people with he euthanasia plan was a treat to read.

I get his motivations, and can sympathize, but genocide is rarely the answer.

I love how Zeke has been having his own character arc since Paths with him making peace with Grisha and seeing how beautiful life can be.

I loved Zeke. Not in season 3 but after reading the manga & reading his backstory my thoughts on him changed. I loved the sarcastic & funny moments with him & Levi.

i'm happy with the development he got, but i'm angry that he was suppossed to be 11/10 smart and he made the dumbest decisions ever. like trusting eren, for example.

I'm just sad Zeke is dead(seriously don't know if he's actually dead) but every time, I would always be reminded of Mike, and how Zeke let him die cruelly by the hands of not only a titan, but three of them.

I'm mad that he did betrayed eren, but im happy he got to choose when he died n how his final moments he liked them.

I'm really really glad he found the meaning of life. after being manipulated all his entire life and knowing that the world was cruel from a young age he decided to go thru with his goals even if it meant nothing in the long term to him (like his plan for paradis) but after his talk with armin his character completely changed for me. Now I understand him more and understand his character. I feel bad for him. mega bad

*sigh* , i have no idea 🙃

A guy that has shady goals but finally realized about the beauty of life which makes him sacrifice himself for the better future and people that fights for it. A good character.

A hillarious guy.

A necessary evil, and really sympathetic but still apart of me is glad he kicked the bucket

A perfect antagonist

a perfectly human and complex character. really loved his contribution to the story.

A pretty great character. One of my favorites.

A really well written character in my opinion

A solid character

A tragic character. A guy who never experienced love and ended up feeling "death is his only salvation."

A tragic story, great leader, never got too attached to him though

A very lovable monke, keep thotting it up in PATHS king

He was a badass man  who sacrifies his live for the  good of humanity

He was a character that never experienced parental love thus he wasn't able to cherish the little moments and understand the meaning of life. I have positive thoughts about him, because I am thinking what his character would be If he had a normal life as a kid

He was a good and tragic victim who became a victimizer in his pain

He was a good boi. Savage, cold and calculating, yes. But in my heart, he was a good boi who stayed loyal to his goals untill the end. I'll miss you zeke.

he was a good character while it lasted, i’m not happy nor sad that he’s dead now, but he was very well written

He was a good character. Still don't like him though

He was a good mysterious character that kept me on edge whenever he was on screen. Didnt know whether to trust him or not and I liked that.

He was a great character and I wish we could’ve seen more of him.

He was a great character overall he had a great character development in my opinion as he sided with the scouts. I'll miss him ofc but I'm glad that he got to choose when to die.

he was a great character, helped the story go amazing

A wHoLe AsS MoNkE

He was a major factor in the story without zeke we wouldn’t be where we are now I personally loved his character he was someone that was prepared to die for his beliefs which I can respect although can’t forgive him for killing all they scouts

He was a misunderstood character and by the end more people hopefully got it.(like I did) But he is now dead monke

He was a really entertaining character and I'm going to miss him.

He was a really good character who in my opinion, got great development till his last moments. Specially liked how Levi was so desperate to kill him as the monster who murdered almost all of the SC including Erwin, but he ended up killing just a man.

He was a really good character, he was only manipulated by Marh and his father (bc he wanted his affection)

he was really interesting- his motives especially. i really enjoyed his perspective of growing up in marley and turning his parents in as traitors, his compassion towards eren, his change of heart in the end. stan zeke.

He was set up to be 100IQ genus but was a self-loathing sad boy the whole time.

he was such a smart character i really enjoyed him , he was one of my favorites and will be really sad to see him die but i’m glad that he got to choose how he died

He was the best monke.

He was the bridge between Eren and Grisha. He was dealt a series bad hands :(

He was the perfect foil to Eren’s character ever since we met him.

He was truly important in each Eren, a bit Levi and the story developments.

He was very well written I feel like he deserved better

He was wonderful character, most one I connected with him in all his journey

He went from a mysterious interesting character in s2 to a character that I hated in s3 for what he done. But now in s4 onwards hes become one of my favourite characters second to eren

He's a very sad character, having grown up with so much suppression and suffering, and to believe he and his race are better off dead, which then leads him to become so determined to exact a bleak plan so his race wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I'm glad armin helped him see there's more to life in his final moments :)

He's a very smart boi but we never got to see his ass-wiping technique. Was this chapter the ass-wiping technique?

He's an amazing character.

He's an asshole, but he's funny. A funny asshole.

He's an extremely interesting character. Filled with intricacies and complexities, I think he fulfills the role he's been given perfectly. In my opinion, his arc came to a nice end and throughout the entirety of it, he remained consistent which I can appreciate.

He's been a victim of the world

He's been an interesting character all along. He should have had a bigger role at the end though.

He's confusing as a character. I feel bad for everything he went through but I'm still not a fan of him

He's funny when he plays with his sand idk😭

He's grown quite a lot as a character

He's just tried he's best t save the world tho. I'm sad for him but i think it the best end for him because he sacrificed so much. Just let him rest in peace

He's monke

He's my favorite character since the Marley arc. I found him really interesting and intriguing with all his Zekerets.

He's my favourite character

He's not really a bad guy when you see his past.

He's one of the best characters, also appreciate the recurring abs fanservice.

He's one of the best villains, if not the best villain, in the series, partially because he feels like such a genuine person outside of his horrible plan and how he can be such a lovable goofball.

He's one of the most interesting characters of SNK. Even tho I still don't like him –sorry, Erwin's dead still hurts:(– I think he was an essential figure for Eren's (& SNK's plot) evolution. A really complex man who finally found peace at the end of his life.

He's quite unlikeable at the start but as time goes by I can finally see some clue about his intention

He's so hot holy shit

He's the best brother Isayama could have written for Eren

He’s a bad dude but he’s hot

He’s a great parallel to Eren

he’s always been an insanely cool character. i dislike how nonchalant he was about ragako but i understand why he acted that way.

He’s an important key to the story and without him it wouldn’t have been the same. i didn’t agree with his plan but i understood it, same as eren.

He’s been a great charismatic character that although he caused my fav Erwin death I couldn’t hate him.

He’s been manipulated like all of them, but in the end, he’s not as shitty as Eren.

HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WAS WILD!!!!!!!!! Isayama did an amazing job on delivering him a good end. I’m glad that I got to fully understand his character and know what pushed him to do the things he did and wanted to do. 10/10 character

His character is amazing; i rly liked him and i’m glad he found his peace in the end

His character was great and his plan made more sense

his titan makes me uncomfy but he has good character development, overall i don’t mind him :)

Honestly very complicated and I don’t feel like writing an essay here, but I very strongly disagree with his ideology but I understand his view point and my respect for him has grown a lot through the series to the point where I was even sad to see him go, all in all an amazingly written character. But he also killed Levi’s husband so get wrecked lol

Honestly? It looks like he was better when he was younger, he was way more scary than now. Now he just looks pathetic.

How should I write it.. He was a great brother, I love him. He loves Eren so much, that's why he chooses to die.

I always hated him and still do for all the things he did, but regardless of that I think he's an amazing character.

I always knew he was gonna die.

i always thought his way of thinking was different from others and thats why i enjoyed his chatacter a lot

I don't like him. Yes, he is a well-written character, but I can't like him because of how much harm he has done to levi. levi lost a lot of his own subordinates and friends because of that monkey.

i dont get why he didn't kill himself before and armin had to be there to state the obvious

i dont like him when he betrayed the scouts but now i understand him but i dont really like him. He deserve better when hes child and thats the cause hes doing this thing. So i guess im both okay and not okay with him

He's had an arc

he's just a brainwashed boy just like others at marley . since kid, he did not have the feels of love by his parents and he just seeing mr.ksaver as his only 'father figure' and this makes me sad like how could grisha did thus to him ?! ik grisha really obssess with eldian thingy that time but ignored your child is a big no no ❤ but for now his character have been improved a lot and makes me change my pov thru him so yeah ...

He's just like every other character in SnK: War Criminal with a backstory. What he went through as a child and a teenager creates a soft spot for him; but doesn't justify his killings and the euthanasia plan. I would have liked him to go down in a more grandiose kinda way (seeing his brain games, him just giving up on his life kinda felt lame). Overall, a great character from analytical pov.

Man vanished for the entire final arc to get one chat and Armin and kill himself. Isayama mismanaged him horribly.

maybe if he was shown love, he would've been a decent person.

I liked Zeke's detached approach on humanity, as I completely relate with his philosophy during the conversation with Armin. Even though at first I was repulsed by his sociopathic tendencies (rip Mike) his character definitely stood out. Everything about him felt rational and original, and I still believe his plan was the most logical one. Great character.

I like Zeke, he was represented as a villain but like all the characters, he's the hero of his own story. He was strong, smart, and tried to stop massive killings. I loved his relationship with Levi too (even though he almost killed him) and I loved Levi's expression when he finally killed him. I expected him to die fighting, but I like how he went down.

I liked him as a villain, but I would have much preferred his Joker-esque "watch the whole world burn" instead of yet ANOTHER misunderstood weeaboo

I really liked him and he was my second favorite character after Eren. I think he was very realisticaly written.

I really liked him as a character. He had a really good character arc not only in regard to his background, and his last moments in the physical world was absolutely stunning!!

I really liked his character towards the end, I’m glad he stepped up and helped call the past titan shifters.

I've got mixed feelings towards Zeke. I really hated him at first for the way he killed Mike - which was absolutely horrible. Then for the scouts and Erwin. But in the end we learn that it's like for anybody else: he did things because he had to. I don't hate him anymore, but I still don't love him either. He's written well, but I feel like he could've been written even more better, which is a bit sad. But he still had a great development. Lastly, the only thing left I have to say is : ✨hot monkey✨

love or hate him, zeke added an incredible dynamic to the story and the exploration of his character as well as his back and forth with others was consistently engaging. didn't think i'd say it but i'm gonna miss him

My thoughts are neutral. I think he had no choice in his life- he too was enslaved. Although, it would have been better to see more of his relationship with Tom Ksaver. That seems to be who he really is, and who he really believes himself to be.

One of the worst childhoods in AoT. I could never blame him for what he did with his life afterwards. I still wish he'd get a happier ending.

One, if not the best character in AOT. He’s such a complex, pragmatic character - I’ve loved him since his first appearance. I just wish his ending hadn’t been so anticlimactic... he deserved better.

Pretty good character but his way of chopping eldians dicks off so they don't have children to save the world was less ridiculous then what eren is doing. Eren says Zekes plan is messed up and then goes on to commit genocide like bruh 😒. But whatever atleast the rumbling stopped.

Well I don't like the guy, never did nor did I care about his sob backstory but at least in the end he came to terms with the shit he had done and accepted his dead.

Well rounded arc. Really interesting character. The idea to have the two yeager brothers have such conflicting ways to bring peace is really interesting

Zeke >>>>>>>> Eren.

Zeke abs

Zeke character is seriously much more deeper than we think he is. Not trying to write an essay here, I'll just say that Armin, Eren, Levi, etc have suffered with the loss of their loved ones. Zeke never even had the chance to be loved.

Zeke character was tragic. He just wanted to live a normal life. At the end, he gave up on his dreams and died, just like Erwin.

Zeke could’ve been one of the best characters in the manga if he had more time to shine it felt like he was either the mysterious villain or a pawn in someone else’s game zeke should’ve had way more of an impact on the story and been less of a plot device

ZEKE DESERVED BETTER

Zeke does his job. He a antagonist to our characters. He a well written character. I still will dislike him for the horrible stuff he did. But he got a good end.

Zeke GOAT. I'd personally adopt him so we could be best friends.

Zeke had a good story. One of the best character in AOT

Zeke had a much more humane plan than eren, he lived his whole life being exploited and used and didn’t truly find the beauty in the simplicity of it all until the end, very sad.

Zeke had a pretty decent character development

Zeke went from a 5d chess 200 iq keikaku master to a meme monke and I loved every second of it.

Zeke had a rare, but perfect mix of being intimidating, goofy and pathetic that made him a complete character.  I've been angry at him, laughed at him, and enjoyed everyone moment he was onscreen, whether it him killing others, getting curbstomped by Levi, or his bantering.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT SEEING THE FIRST PAGES, DETAILING LIFE ON EARTH? 2,127 Responses

46.6% were excited to see real creatures of evolutionary history as part of titan lore, while 29.1% were glad to finally see the origins of that mysterious many-legged menace responsible for the world’s troubles. 12.1% aren’t totally sold on the exposition, and 6.2% would’ve preferred the origin story remain more vague. Meanwhile, 6% know who are*really* the masterminds behind it all. *taps head*

HALLUCIGENIA! Who would have thought that the main culprit of everything was just an evolved cambrian worm. Very nice.

This, in my opinion, was the best chapter of ALL the manga so far. My favourite part was the beginning resembling evolution of the real world. Simply amazing.

the "Life" part is confusing. Actually, i want that "Life" things took big part in Titan History, like controlling human, made human (Eldian) become one race for environmental reason, or something, and that "Life" thing has mind, like it could communicate with people....

Is it a coincidence that this chapter released while I was studying the Cambrian Explosion for my college biology class?

  DOES YMIR NOW SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,161 Responses

46.3% don’t want to make any more assumptions about Ymir, they just want information first! 36% believe Ymir’s not on anyone’s side and is seeing how things unfold. 12.2% maintain that she’s sticking with Eren, and 5.5% think the alliance has won her over.

Ymir basically tried to make her own version of Instrumentality. I do think we need more elaboration on her perspective so her changing her mind is emphasised. I've been theorising she will betray Eren at some point, but with the lack of POV both on her and Eren's part, it does seem questionable.

I feel like she just didn’t want to be alone anymore. and because she’s the founder she wanted a connection between her and her subjects or her people. it’s understandable why she would help eren with trying to achieve his goal but it also makes sense for her to help the alliance stop eren because she is now free.

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF PATHS BEING THE RESULT OF YMIR’S DESIRE FOR SAFETY AND CONNECTION? 2,106 Responses

Again, a plurality of 43.9% want to wait for more information from Ymir’s perspective before deciding how they feel about her. 33.6% think the explanation in this chapter made sense and made her more believable in her motives. 15.1% somewhat grudgingly accept that for the role Ymir plays, this’ll do. However, 5% just don’t like it or just don’t think it makes sense.

i have no idea if it makes sense plot-wise but since one of the primary human needs is connection it's believable and touching

I'm surprised because I believed that was the empty, lonely world  created by her subconscious mind or desire for serving the king. Now it looks like it is the world where she feels safe and is waiting for someone to give her what she desires.

Despite the lack of exact origin, this make sense, specially if we see other science fiction war-politic drama, as the first Gundam Series, or Foundation.

Explaining the origin of the spine creature was necessary imo, but I think the origins of the Paths should have been left vague. This explanation is a little weak.

It's sad yet kinda sweet at the same time.

I like this. Ymir best girl

I still don't understand how that shit works

I still wouldv liked it to be the transcendental plane of existence, governed by the source of all life.

I think Paths existed before Ymir, right?

Paths became pretty stupid after Ymir was introduced.

I think she fled, got parasite'd, and that....thing has been in control of the Titans ever since, trapping the mind of a little girl in Paths for 2000 years.  Finally, someone with the Founder was able to contact her and say "You can do whatever you want!" so she just...let him have power, so she could roam freely for a bit.

I thought that we were going to get a different explanation, since PATHS is something supernatural but if Isayama wants that then Im ok with it, remember we are in a story with 16 meters giants, dont expect science explanations here lol

I understand the phrase, but I fail to see why her character turned this way given the hardships she suffered. Indeed, why did she keep obeying King Fritz instead of giving him a lesson?

I want to know why and how it spread to all Eldians instead of just shifters.

It makes sense to me, and it's a good explanation, but I have a feeling that there may be more to it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but she was stuck for so long, that it’s initial purpose has lost meaning.

It would need a lot more explanation. How does the (still-unexplained) tree spine give her the capability to form an alternate supernatural dimension? And why would THIS be the way to form those connections, rather than, say, NOT forming massive monsters to kill people on earth? How does wandering around an endless desert alone forming weapons of mass destruction for thousands of years feel safe and connected? It's flimsy.

it's a cheap excuse as to why paths ex machina exists.

It’s a good explanation, it highlights the tragedy of her story even more

It’s honestly very sad. She is such a lonely character and the fact that she made a place where she could feel connected to others is very heartbreaking. She’s just wanted to feel loved :(

Kinda stupid. Titans are fucking weird creatures anyways and trying to explain them beyond the concept of "magic" and paths ruins it for me.

Makes sense, even Eren has stated that she has been desiring for company and understanding, meaning that she couldn't completly achieve it with the creation of paths

No, Ymir is trapped in paths due to being devoured while controlling the spine creature. Because she was eaten by humans (not turned into titans) she was stuck in the world of paths and to end titans she needs to be freed from that world.

omg i never rlly got that (i was super confused) until after i read this question- cool tho how her desire for that is so great she created a whole ass metaphysical plane wtfff

Paths didn't need to be explained but it's nice that it's connected to Ymir's desires

PATHS is pinnacle Strand-type game.

She choose to be alone in that realm, and she chose to obey the king's will. I can't feel bad for her as much as I did before

Super weird. Seemed like Ymir just kinda appeared in Paths in 122. So it existed before her right?

That definitely explains why Armin was still able to see everything that was going on in the living world. It was especially interesting to learn that all titan shifters never fully die, rather their consciousness is transferred to Paths where they remain in a seemingly dream-like state but can still be awakened to an extent, as we saw Zeke do. I still would like to see Paths destroyed in the end, though, otherwise they'll be stuck there forever and never be able to move on.

The plot with Ymir was just absolutely awful.

There are still way too many questions about her but i'm not interested in it

Though Ymir remains quite an obscure character, I've always been a fan of childhood trauma and how this affects the world they are living in, especially in a fantasy setted world. It adds an interesting level of humanity to the story.

Ymir was surprised when she entered paths in 122. She didn't expect but from what we've seen from 122, we can say that "escaping to a world free of even death" holds the most meaning. I never saw it as her desire for safety, Connection of course is existent though.

she's become a very compelling character and her ideologies are more pronounced, and I really do like how it connects to titan powers and paths. however we still need more explanations on her.

She's the incarnation of a very human feeling, no need to wonder why she became a godess

I just want to hear from her! Everyone else is telling her story and speaking for her, and I really want a moment at the end here for her to lay things out

  ARMIN SHARES A FEW MEMORIES THAT MADE LIFE WORTH LIVING, WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 2,091 Responses

Armin shared some of his sweetest memories with Zeke this chapter. 74.9% most loved the memory of him running with his two dearest friends as leaves fell. 11.8% chose the memory of walking around a marketplace with friends. 6.8% chose the memory of feeding a squirrel at training camp, and 6.5% chose the memory of reading a book on a rainy day. They were all lovely though, weren’t they?

Not afraid to admit that I teared up seeing the panel of EMA running to the tree!

I love the message in this chapter because to me this is the message of AoT in general; life is worth living because of the small, precious memories we make. It's not about a great sense of purpose; just being alive makes someone a valuable human. If this is the final message of Isayama to his fans, I gladly take it.

  WAS ZEKE'S CHANGE OF HEART BELIEVABLE? 2,104 Responses

Grisha once said that Zeke would save his people, and it seems he has fulfilled this role with Armin’s encouragement. Although not without a good dash of nihilism first. 61.4% thought his decision to help Armin was perfectly in character; he just needed to be reminded of his few good memories as motivation. 19.2% did think it was a drastic change on his part, but his changed views were just a part of his character development. 15.9% did not appreciate what seemed like the dreaded Talk no Jutsu in full force.

I honestly loved Zeke’s change. Despite Ymir and Eren Zeke was still the key to this and I liked how it never changed.

It was already foreshadowed but Isayama should had set this up a few chapters ago because the execution makes it seem like Armin just told him “life gud” and he was like “oh shit u right” and then went to die

It was believable enough. Plus, I like that he still mentioned to Xaver that he still believed the euthanasia-plan was the way to go.

It was good thematically but it needed more time and more build up in the execution

It was kind of strange in my opinion but he was tasked by Grisha to stop Eren so what choices did he really have?

He doesn't have a change of heart, he just has a change of action. same motivation and beliefs, just different action he takes.

He had a lot of time to think in Paths, so yeah.

after all those fandom debates about armin using talk no jutsu on eren, we instead saw armin use it on zeke instead (so my answer is both yay, character development!! and nay, a part of me believes ONE pep talk can't COMPLETELY change a person)

As abrupt as the change was I think I do prefer this, rather than him not getting any 'better' and eventually dying without realizing the amount of trouble and hurt his actions caused.

It would be believable if we saw how the PATHS trip with Grisha and Eren affected him, but bad pacing happened

believable, shouldve had its own chapter though

don't know what to think about it

Not at all. I think if he paused and wondered on his own it would've been better. Instead it was made to wank Armin and make yet another determined adult look incompetent.

Rational me: Well at least Monke got to go out with a smile. 2013-16!me: Eren should've been giving the pep talks...I thought he was gonna be the protagonist....wahhh (cue baby crying)

Seems acceptable, just glad he’s gone

eh. it was somewhat believable. he didnt have any reason to continue existing

Happened way too quickly.

I don't know, but here's my opinion. I'd say Zeke finally open his eyes to the truth, and now he wished to do as much as he can to stop Eren before his time comes. I believe that's the reason he exposed himself to Levi, and why he chose to die after calling every titan shifters to help aid Eren's friends stop Eren. Does it make sense?

I dont get how armin convinced him more easily than eren did when theyre the ones with essentially the same endgoal

i love the idea of zeke becoming a "optimistic nihilist" but didn't at all like how rushed it was executed.

I mean, it sure could've been explored more, but we have to take into account that Zeke had been in paths for a long time (maybe for what it felt like millions of years) and by that point he felt hopeless; his dream was no longer going to become a reality, he couldn't change anything and was trapped there forever, then Armin came and gave him a different perspective, he listened and found something of value in it while at the same time not completly discarding Xaver's ideology. I like it!

I mean... it was kind of a change of heart? But he still believed that his euthanasia plan was the way to go (I dislike Ksaver for that very reason; he projected his own self loathing onto Zeke which led to him believing that life isn't precious and just inherently cruel)

I think Armin and him talked for yrs in paths but it only translated to minutes irl

I think it was either rushed to the point where Zeke-once the brainer monke-did a full 180 to give up on himself. I mean yes, character development or whatever, I think it should have been given more time to happen. He just gave up and died kinda feels off-setting considering his cunning/witty character.

I think that he just stopped caring about everything and did what Armin asked him to do.

I enjoyed armin and zeke’s conversation, and think the outcome made sense.

I was against that plot at first. But after reading different opinions, I guess he became hopeless due to his time in the paths. So the nihilist speech wasn't exactly his way of thinking. Otherwise why would he run around for making his euthanization dream come true if he was that hopeless of life. So I think his change of mind was acceptable

It did feel drastic in the moment, but I think if I were to read through the chapters more consecutively, it might make more sense to me

It doesn't make sense that someone as motivated as Zeke would sit passive the whole Rumbling. If he could have done anything to stop Eren, he would have done it before half the world was Rumbled.

Zeke wanted to eugenicize his race. Except Armin said 'look at this leaf, I like living' and he said 'yes you're right life is worth living. I will die for humanity now'. People will joke about this for years to come when they explain attack on titan to their friends.

"The greatest teacher, failure is." - A wise old ghost frog.

This change is fine in principle. It's change from his idea of euthanasia and "better not be born" toward "eventhough life is suffering too, it's worth living". But it was rushed, it would have been more believable if the idea germinated in his mind. So between the Yes and No answer.

What change of heart, he was reminded from what he found happiness in life which he was enjoying subconscioulsy before aka playing catch. An activity he started enjoying as a kid. It was a game, something kids enjoy not a heavy burden of "saving everyone" as Grisha implanted onto him.

yes because before talking to armin, he must have been so lonly in paths for such a long time, after such isolation even one talk can influence a person a lot

Zeke had this change coming - it was built up throughout the Paths chapters. The primary boogeyman figure of his life turned out to be a good man, and he apologised, turning his entire worldview upside down (not counting the whole "Stand, dad" thing) He had an eternity in Paths to process the events of ch120-122 (and maybe his entire life before that) multiple times over. Armin found him at his most vulnerable, betrayed and alone once more. Their debate back and forth, all done with mutual respect, was amazingly written. Armin showed him the way, gave him that one final nudge he needed in the right direction. It's perfectly believable, and fitting.

  IF YOU WERE IN PATHS, WHAT WOULD ARMIN’S LEAF LOOK LIKE TO YOU? 1,124 Responses

Because we love and appreciate every single one of you, this list IS going to be absurdly long. <3

♡ Levi just him.

🦧

20 inch bad dragon dildo

A baseball ⚾️

A basketball

A bed

A berry

A better chapter 137

A better final arc.

A Bible

A black hole

A blanket (don't judge me)

A blue gel pen, maybe? Or a book?

a blue pouch

a book

A book from my ninth grade year

A book I have that's full of messages from friends

A book maybe since I spend most of my times reading books with my beloved one and friends

A book probably

A book? Handphone? Idk

a bottle of black nail polish

a box of spicy chicken nuggets from mcdonalds

a bracelet

A brush

a butterfly

A cake

A camera

A candle

A card from my girlfriend

Cassette-Tape

A cat

A cd

A CD case of cellist yo yo ma

a cellphone ig xjwkxnekdkd jk a book

A cherry blossom / cherry blossom leaf

A chessboard I guess

A childhood toy

a cigarette shared between friends

A cinema ticket

A clarinet

a coffee mug

a coin

A comic book

A computer probably

a concert ticket

A cross

A cross necklace my grandma gifted me when i was like 16 (she died when i was 18 💔)

A crucifix

A crystal

A cup

A cup of coffee

A cup of coffee in a cute mug

A cupcake

A deck of cards

a dick

A dildo

A dildo (joking) a piece of cake

A dinosaur toy.

A doll

a duck

A feather.

A feather..the pretty one..could be bird's feather..

A fish

A fishing rod.

A football balloon

A fountain pen i received when i was younger.

A framed picture of EMA laughing together

A freakin’ leaf, I’m don’t have horrible mental issues like AOT characters.

A friend/family member.

a fucking leaf

A game controller.

A gameboy advance or some curry lol

A girlfriend, because i'm lonely :(

a glass 'potion' bottle

A glove

a gold necklace i got from my parents when i was little

A Good Ending

A good manga series

A good SnK manga chapter

a guitar for sure

A guitar pick

A hair band (symbolizes self development)

A handwritten message from my mother

A harmonica

a hat

A hat I made for a friend

A heart.

a Hot Wheel car

A Jewel

A joint

A joystick

a key

a kpop lightstick idk

A laptop with anime on it probably💀oh or all if my maladaptive daydreaming story notes

a leaf

A leaf as well.

A Leaf because it's a Fucking Leaf

A Lego brick

A Lego figure

A Levi nendoroid

A life

A lightsaber

a little crystal bear

a little red bean

A little rock that I've polished myself with another rock

A little treasure box

A magic the gathering card.

a manette

A Manga (maybe AoT or TG)

a manga panel

A mechanical pencil

A memory

A mobile phone

A mouse

a mouse and keyboard

a movie from blockbuster

A movie ticket

a mushroom

A music Album

A Music player

A necklace

a necklace from an ex

A necklace that my father gave me but it broke

A new Sombra skin (casual). Give her something already!

A Nintendo DS

a noose

a notebook

A notebook filled with my goals and dreams.

a nugget

A paint brush

A pair of googles from my childhood.

A peach

A pen

A pen or quill.

A pen perhaps

A pencil

A perfectly orange looking leaf. Showing that the seasons still go by even after all that misery.

A phone

a photo album

A photo of me and my friends that I keep

a photo of me and my grandpa

A photo shoot, of me and a few my classmates

A photograph of my loved ones

A picture of Hitch's boobs 😔

A picture of me, smiling

A picture of my family

A picture of my friends

a piece of SnK merch or a slice of pizza lmao

a pill

A pinecone

a ping pong racket

A pizza

A Playstation controller

A plush I still have with me since day one. It has gone through a lot with me.

a pokeball

A Pokémon card lol

A Pokemon emerald rom

A Polaroid of me and my friends!

A possible symbol for the final chapter idk tbh

A postcard I got my from my best friend

a potato

a printed photo

A ps4 controller

A PS5

A quill

A reminder of how my life goes ups and downs but still stands up to fight.

A reminder of life and how it can flourish in the most unexpected of places

A Requiem ending

a ring

A rock

A running shoe

A Santa Hat

A screen honestly

a seashell

A sewing kit

a shot of gold tequila with cinnamon sugar and an orange slice. best night of my life.

A slice of pizza bro.

a small feather

A small stuffed toy, a gift from my grandfather when i was 4 years old, not long before he passed

A snk volume with actually good chapters in it.

A soccer ball

A soccer ball.

A spider man figure

A stone with a hole.

A stuffed animal from my childhood maybe, there’s one that still sits somewhere and is a reminder of those peaceful moments of childhood.

A stuffed animal.

A symbol of innocence and life

A table tennis bat

a teacup

a teddy

A thing who link me to my mom or my brothers

a token. A palm sized blue token with W.S engraved on it in white

A toy

A toy bear dhiq

A toy mouse

A toy plane.

a vape

A volume from this manga lmao

A volume of one piece

a wax pen

A whole bed.

A Wii Remote

A wrestling ring or a brush for paint

A xbox 360 controller..

Actually my answer is really dumb but it will surely look like my picture with my friends at a school camp in forest.

African barbecue chicken

Alcohol 👌🏿

Also a leaf because nature holds my best memories.

an actual decent ending for the series, which this isn't

An AoT manga

an apple

An Attack on titan manga, the 26 volume:(

An attack on titan volume

An autumn leaf maybe

An ice cream

An iced coffee

an old axe

An old Bionicle canister: 8536 - Kopaka. It just feels right, y'know?

An onahole

An orange

An snk volume

Anime-original ending for Season 4 part 2

Annie

annies character development before she became uwu waifu

AnR Ending.

Any of my son's toys. He's 2 yrs old. I'm crying right now...

Any small animal representing life

AOT Chapter 137🤣🤣🤣🤣

Aot manga

AoT volume 30

Apple

Armin thinks of it as falling leaves when he and his friends go to a tree

Armin would BE my “leaf”. Tbh, he gave me the strength and love to keep loving. He’s my happy memories.

armin’s leaf to me would look very green, very healthy and full of life.

Armin's corpse

Attack on Titan chapter 139

Attack on Titan's manga books.

Backyard

bald james charles

ball

balloon

Banana

banana for monke

barbie

Baritone Horn

baseball

Basement key tbh, y'all remember back in 2013 when the biggest mystery was "what was in the basement?" then it was revealed in the manga in 2016? Good ol' times when spoilers weren't everywhere 🙄

BASKETBALL

Bed

Bertholdt's redacted

Big fookin anime tiddies

Bill.

Blunt

Bohrok Kohrok

boobs

Books

bottle cap

Brass Ring

brick

Brooch

Brown and like at the beginning of fall

BTS's album

Bunny

Calisthenics ring

Camera

Can't decide

candle

Candy

Cap

Cards

Cat fur because I love my babies ❤

Cat whishker

chalk

chapter 100

Chapter 140

chapters 138 and 139

cheese slice

Chess

Chicken

chicken nugget

Chipotle

Chocy milk

Cicada

Clay

Cocaine

Cock and ball torture from Wikipedia the free encyclopaedia

coffee

Coffee mug

Coming home after school and enjoying the weekend playing football and meeting friends

Complete collection of snk volumes

Computer

condom ??

cooking with my mother, playing basketball with my brothers and sitting with my friends

Cricket ball

Damn, that's a really good question...honestly I don't know.

damn... idk

dog collar

Dont know

doughnut

Doujinshi

dreams, nostalgia, memories

Drugs

Dumbbell

Eh, probably my cat? Or the picture of people I love.

either a book or a phone

either a controller or my gf

Either a football or video game controller

Eren jaeger 😳

Eren or other

eren's abs

eren's schl-

Eren🤤🤤🤤

Erens dick

Erwin

Erwin's arm

Erwin's dick.

Erwin's right arm or levi's right eye

Erwin's smile

Everyone outside the Walls rumbled

exactly the same

Fair

family

Family Picture

Fern frond

First of all, great question :) probably a mini chalkboard with a little calculus equation on it from when I first got into mathematics

Fleshlight

floch

Flower

Food

Football

Football (soccer) ball

Freedom

From episode 1 2000 years ago!?

From the beginning the trees leaf

Fuck Armin

fuck this shit doing here

GABI'S GRUESOME DEATH

Gameboy

GameCube

GameCube controller

Gay porn

GME stonks

golf ball

Green

Green and alive.

Group picture with loved ones

Guitar

Guitar Pick

gun

GURL? I WILL NOT LOOK AT THE LEAF I WILL ONLY LOOK AT ARMIN! SORRY ANNIE!! >_<

Half Life 3

Halo (game)

hamborgar

hamburguer

hange

Harry potter novel

Historia

Historia not being a breeder

historia's soft breasts

Hmm i don't really know

hmmm, maybe a coin

hold four lokos

holidays i spent with my family n friends

homemade cooking? it would be all sandy tho

Honestly I don't know

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe the stylus I lost?

Honey bun

Hope

Hot wings

Humanity

I actually have no idea.

I did not expect such a deep question! You guys made me think for like 10min straight and question all my life. I'd say it would be a T-rex toy

i do not have any core memories. i remember nothing important of my childhood. it's all just a blank page

I don't know honestly. So many good memories, that aren't really connected with objects per se. If I could see sunlight in that sand, it would be that.

I don't know. I don't I would have any

I don't know. I don't think you would get a choice on what it would look like to you.

I don't really know I had a lot of good and importants moments in life but what I'm sure of is that it includes my family

I don't want to sit with Armin

I don’t think I’ve encountered it yet

i dont fcking know its a leaf

I dont know because i think i dont have a thing like that. I would imagine it as my previous house that means a lot to me

I had a little piglet figurine in my childhood that was lost.

I have a scructured settlement and I need cash now

I HAVE NI IDEA buuut i will think about it later ... It's a good questio actually

i have no answer for this 😞

i have no fucking clue

I have no happy memories

I have no idea lmao probably a leaf

I have no idea too much to think about.

i have so many in mind, idk what to choose.

I have to think about it that's a real good question.

I honestly don't even know. I'm probably just like Zeke who is yet to know the real value of living hehe

I need more context.

I still dont know what motivates me the most

I think it will be my favorite books

I think it would be my medals

I think it would look like a rock that I found on the beach.

I think it would look like an origami butterfly made from a business card

I think maybe leaf or flower

I think will be a pencil

I thought i had seen the leaf.is this a theory? wait? i don't see a tree on the path.where do the leaves appear? am i left behind?

I wanna know too

i was shocked tbh. the leaf became the sign that verified that there really is a connection between what happened in the past and now in the future — that the founding titan really knows everything that's going on.

I would see a specific type of pen that has the same name as my best friend

I'm not sure if I have something I'm deeply connected to.

I’m not sure

Ice cream

iced chocolate

Idk :(

idk but it does remind of the tree from the notebook ova

idk lol

idk my phone or sumin

Idk, I have many things that i love, but no clue what's the most important

Idk, i'd have to be there and be reminded

Idk, maybe hope?

Idk, maybe my cat. She's the best.

idk, something related to cartoons

Idk.....BTS album? They’re the reason my life become much brighter

In my eyes, I would have seen a music box.

Interestingly enough, also a baseball

Ironically enough, probably a baseball like Zeke

Is this really important?

Isayama-san UwU

It could be anything to me.

It could be metaphorical by contrasting the real world vs the afterlife, the past and the present, what is gone and what is still here.

It has to be something connected to an important memory of your life, not just an object that you wish you had, right? I think whatever the true answer is would be impossible for me to realise myself just by thinking. It seems like one of those things that you would only realise when it's right in front of you, then it all makes sense.

it remids him of mikasa and eren, when three of them running under the three

It would be a basketball

it would be a pencil

It would be green

it would look like a book

it would look like a dress

It would look like an autobiography book.

It would look like my bracelet I got from my best friend

It would look like Pine Tree

It would look like this chapter, but animated.

It would probably be a Lego set or smth

It would probably be the discord logo lol

it would probably look like this one follower my grandmother would always have in her garden

It's gonna be a long paragraph

It's hard to think about it right now, I would say a stick?

its remind me when they are still happy in the wall

Jean

Just a leaf

just a leaf u know its nothing particular

Just a leaf. but it also shows that freedom to everybody is different; for zeke it was just playing baseball with mr ksaver, and for armin it was running to a tree with eren and mikasa

Just.. leaf

Juul

kassete

Lacrosse ball

Leaf 👁👄👁

Leaf as well

Leaf is fine~

leaf of the tree they ran toward to

leaf?

Legit my cat

Lego brick

Lego star wars the complete saga for the Nintendo wii

letter

levi

Levi Pillow

Levi's plushie

Levi’s butt

Levi’s dumbstruck of an ass- probably a photograph of my closest friends

Levi’s happiness

Life

Life?? Idk

life..ig

Like a comb

Like a leaf

like a stuffed animal

Like Armin

Like goddamn, you think we could get some trees up in here among all this lifeless sand? jfc it's nice to see some greenery. People may suck but it's hard to say nature does

like looking at the past

Listening to music alone in my bed.

lol yikes i have no idea

Looking at a golf ball

Lots of things.

Lube

Man bun Eren

Manga

maybe a book ? idk i don't find anything memorable for now

Maybe a book or sumn.

Maybe a bottle of wine or a beach towel

Maybe a camera? Photo album?

Maybe a Lego brick

maybe a slice of cake, or a flower

Maybe also a leaf...

Maybe AOT manga? IDK lol!

Maybe book or pen

maybe flower

Maybe sad actually I don't understand 😃

meaningful memories

Meat

mf idk i’m dumb asf

Mi pets :(

Microphone

Mikasa

Mikasa body pillow

Mikasa's abs

Mikasa's smile

Mikasa’s ass

mikasas titties

mine probably will look like a paint brush<3

Money

monke

Most likely a pencil

mouse

music lol

Music Sheet

My Books

my bracelet

My cat

My cat or a cup of hot chocolate

My cats

my childhood

my childhood blanket

My childhood stuffed animal Rudi

my computer mouse

My crappy journal

my crush

My diary

My dog

My dog who died years ago, i loved him.

my dog who passed away

My dog's collar

My dog's leash I guess.

My favorite book

my friend's doodle

my friends.

My glasses or a bar of chocolate

My glasses, maybe.

My Grandma's crepes. ♥

My Grandpa (now I regret being too young to know more about his past)

My hard drive

My hedgehog

My iPod touch.

My kindergarten school

my laptop lol my best memory is blasting songs and pass the night without worrying about anything

My late grandma's glasses

my microphone

My mobile phone

my mom's ring

My mom’s cookies

My motorcycle

My notebooks

My old dog

my own damn tears

My paintbrush

My pc

My phone

My phone :)

My phone kek

My phone lol

my phone probably

My phone, with Reddit open, on r/Titanfolk, reading memes and whatever YakiBacki has made recently.

My phone???

My phone. I have a social media addiction.

My plush horse

My poems

My rabbit(s).

My seal plushie

My smartphone

My stuffed animal

My stuffed bunny from childhood😂

My switch

my teddy or some kind of gift offered by my family/friends

My trumpet. I have so many happy memories from marching band, playing with my friends every summer afternoon. I grew and learn so much through playing the trumpet. I gained so many friends and was so happy during the time I was in marching band. It was like my second home. I would give anything to go back to those happy times.

My tv remote

My unfinished new Survey Corps armor...

My wedding ring

My winnie the pooh doll lol.I loved it soooo much when I was a kid

Nami from One Piece

Nerf Guns lol

ngl it would look like a pawn or some random chess piece for me

nice try, dumbledore

nintendo switch

No comment

no I...

No I'm not ready for psychoanalysis at this moment

No idea, a locket probably

no idea, fuck Paths

Not sure honestly

Not sure. Because i havent found the purpose of my life.

Not sure. Is that bad?

Nothing in particular

Nothing to think about

Noting but vibez

obviously a volume of attack on titan

Oh gosh....this is so deep. I don’t know! Maybe a pencil?

oh man i don’t even know

One Piece volume

Orchids

Pain

Paint brush

Pandemic crisis is over

Pen

pencil

Perhaps a ballpen I used. I don't really have anything that reminds me to live in particular.

Perhaps a history book or map

Personally or as a manga reader? As a manga reader, it would be something related to the veterans, who embodied the true spirit of AoT to me

Phone

Phone full of conversations with my old friends.

phone? lol

Photo of my family

photo of my friends or Levi or Erwin 😂😂. Seriously I  haven't thought about meaning of life as deeply as Armin.

Picture of family and friends

Picture of my family and friends

Picture of sunset

pictures

Picutre of me and my parent's

Pie

pie DAHAHAHAHA

Pieck

Pieck's Ass

Pieck's butt

Pieck's Cart Titan AWOOGA

Pitchforks so I can go manifest in front of greedy Kodansha how shitty the writing is.

Pizza

pizza :)

Playing with childhood friends.

plushie from childhood

Pokeball

poop

Potato

Potatoes

pp

Probably a bike

Probably a bird I think

probably a book

probably a box of Girl Scout cookies honestly

Probably a coral, I'm a scuba diver so the ocean is always something that is close to my heart.

Probably a Gamecube controller due to that being my first gaming console I owned/played on.

Probably a gaming mouse lol

Probably a Kanye West album idk

Probably a leaf. His entire philosophy on life is exactly my philosophy on life.

Probably a manga, if anything. Or a Vinyl since I love music.

Probably a pen or paintbrush because I love art

Probably a pencil

Probably a photo

Probably a picture of my best friend

Probably a picture of my family

Probably a picture of someone I lost and cherish.

Probably a pillow.

Probably a small stuffed animal

Probably a Soccer ball

Probably a volume of AoT ffs

probably a wii controller :’)

Probably a wrestling belt or a game controller

probably an ice cream

Probably an old photo of mine

probably attack on titan manga HAHAHA

Probably earbuds!

probably how happy i was back then OMFG yea im lonely now

probably just a leaf. i don’t have anything that special to me that holds any value.

Probably like a lego brick lol.

Probably like the one you see fall 🍂

Probably Mikasa

Probably my dog plushie

Probably my old Nintendo DSi

Probably my phone

Probably one of my cats

Probably one of my childhood lego guys

Probably Pieck, or a pretty gymnastic leotard or even a pretty necklace idk

Probably smarthpone, idk tbh

Probably something important and precious to me. But right now it's probably my phone, but I doubt it exist in Attack On Titan

Probably the pillow (I named it pillow pillow great name i know) that I brought everywhere with me as a child.

probably the same leaf

ps1 controller

Ps2

PS2 controller

Pussy

Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong

Re zero all arcs

Re:Zero

Reading new chapters of Attack on Titan every month

Regrets lmao

Reiner

Reiner's ass

Reiner's booty

reiner’s titties

Remembers

revival

Rose pin

roses

Running shoes

s4 by wit

Sand of the beach I used to visit when I was young with my mother and sister

scripture

Sea or a shell

Sea-water

Seriously, a gun.

shackle

Shadis

sheet music

shingeki no kyojin LMAO

Shiranai

shitty symbolism

shoes

Small rabbit statue

Sneakers

SnK manga

SNK manga volumes (lol)

Snk’s ending

Snow

Soccer ball

Some bird species

Some object related to track

Some type of memory. Or resemble a memory??

Something belonging to Erwin

Something from home

something my grandparents had given me! or maybe my mother's necklace

Something that tells you that life is worth living if not for the smallest of moments- I suppose it would be my phone lol.

Something that would symbolize my family.

Spaghetti

starfish

Still not sure yet

Stuffed animal

Sunflower

symbol of life

Symbol of life?

Talarico

Talk No Jutsu

Tea cup

tennis ball

that fucking POMEGRANATE

That life is what we see it to be, zeke wasn't looking for anything so he found nothing there except sand but armin was hopeful so he found whats meaningful for him

That's personal wtf 😂

The admin of aot wiki😳 seriously tho uhm probably a picture of my family or something

The Ao3 front page

The Bible

The first coin I earned myself (like in The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck)

The first volume of a niche little series called Shingeki no Kyojin

The Fucking Levi FIGURE THAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR 2 MONTHS

The hope

the HP wand I made from chopstick

the leaf could be the tree Eren, Mikasa and Armin where running from when they were still a kid or the tree Ymir fell into and got the titans power(?)

The leaf to me would look like a ring. My family gives me one every year.

The necklace my mom gave me

The nothingness

The novel I've writing.

The one he had seemed just fine.

The one under the tree, where it all began

The perfect ending, forever trying to live up to your own version it

The scarf

The seashell

The Sony PS5

The spine of Ymir

The tree

The unrevealed Ackerman and Azumabito plot line

The volume 17 manga cover back when things weren't completely terrible

There's still life and hope

This anime/manga bc I’m so attached to it

This caught me off guard. I don't know

This is a very hard question. I think to me it would show dog toys being my dog is the reason I'm still alive

This is probarly really sad but it would be one of the Aot manga books.

This isn't about me, this is about the manga chapter

This manga

This manga. I wouldn't mind being born again... if it meant being able to experience this story for the first time again... So I'll guess I'll thank you, Hajime Isayama.

This question has the same vibe as "what would you see on the mirror if Erised", therefore, I'm not sure

This series

This so hard but probably the ticket from the Twenty One Pilots concert I went to in 2019 (it was my first concert ever and the last one I went to before the pandemic)

This was actually a really nice question ;0;  To me the leaf would look like, there was a day where i drew Gionro it took 8 hours to others it may sound normal but to me I had so much fun drawing and coloring it. Also the first time i got a dog i was so happy for years i really wanted one and later on we ended GETTING ANOTHER dog and even a cat ;0; that was unexpected!!

Tits

To-do list completed

Too me the leaf would look like a soccer ball

Tray

Tulip

uhh, my phone? I don't have much on my life lmao

Um... I don't know to be honest. I mean does this have to be an object ? Can it be something else ?

ur mom

Very colorful, yet simple. I feel like I would be able to tell it’s importance just by the way Armin looks at it.

VHS copy of the 1977 animated Hobbit

vodka

Volleyball

Volume 30 of AoT

vv cool

waifu figure

water

Waterpistol

Weed

Weed pen

Well, damn, I don't know if I have one lol

What

What leaf? That's clearly a kite.

Who knows

Who knows hehe

Who knows lol.

Xbox controller

yam's balls

yo moma

You.

Your mom

youth and innocence

Zeke being alive and well, raised in a loving household

Zeke living

  THERE WERE A LOT OF STEPS TO SAVING ARMIN, WHICH WAS THE BEST PART? 2,058 Responses

There was some much loved teamwork this chapter. 25.9% of respondents enjoyed Mikasa’s relentless pursuit of the Okapi the most, closely followed by 25.7% who were impressed by Gabi’s continuing kill streak. 21.6% were glad to see Armin help to save himself, and 19.9 % were pleased to see Annie break Armin’s fall. Finally, 6.9% of respondents appreciated Connie saving Armin from another round of Okapi tongue action. Though sadly he didn’t get a mention in the comments!

I genuinely really liked the part where Gabi fired a perfect shot, I personally think she isn't as bad as people make her out to be.

Annie catching Armin was 10/10.

it was so cool to see the team work I'd always dreamed it would look like. Also Levi supporting Gabi was so cuute.

  WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE RETURNED SHIFTER MOMENT? 2,044 Responses

While all the returning titans had a moment of action, it was “Bertoldt saving Annie” that was top pic for favorite shifter moment with 40% of the responses. “Porco and Marcel together” was a distant second with 17.3%. “Freckled Ymir saving Reiner” closely followed with 17.1%.

BERTHOLDT IS BACK!!!!! REIBERT REUNION WHEN

Ymir (freckles) is my personal favourite, she could've said one line at least! Same goes for Kruger and Porco. Bringing people back to life is weird, not letting them comment on that is even weirder.

Grisha hit the gym in paths 😳

I genuinely didn't think we were gonna see freckles Ymir again, so that was a very pleasant surprise! I would have also liked for her to have some dialogue, but then again Historia hasn't had any dialogue in the present time either.

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SHIFTERS OF THE PAST REGAINING CONTROL OF THEIR TITANS? 2,117 Responses

The passed came back from the past to lend the alliance a hand! Now this moment was a little controversial. 42.5% thought it was awesome seeing our old friends take control of their titans to save their loved ones. 29.9% liked what the scene was going for but thought it needed more setup or foreshadowing. 18.9% were not happy at all to see such a shonen scene in this manga. Hated it, even! Despite the many strong feelings, there was still a group of those (8.7%) who didn’t really have an opinion either way.

I feel considerably less crazy about referring to the rumbling as ""basically Ragnarok"" now that we have dead shifters coming back from Valhalla-paths to fight in the rumblnarok.

While I expected the past shifters to help out the Alliance eventually ever since we saw crying Bertotototo, I thought it was a little rushed and could've used more build-up.

i want more porco and marcel lol

Pieck seeing the Galliard brothers must have been so hard. I can't begin to imagine how she felt. :(

I still don't understand how it is Zeke that brought the titan shifters back since he was busy thinking about his childhood. I kinda didn't like the ressurection ( not exactly ) of the dead titan shifters since it takes away the meaning of death of you are actually able to interact with them.

Kruger, Grisha, and freckles Ymir coming back to help the alliance??? What??? I get the others but not these 3. Either fanservice or something more is happening under the shadows.

This chapter continued to showcase some more of the past Titan Shifters throughout the ages. What was most interesting of the past Titan Shifters that appeared in this chapter to fight the past alliance members was that some of the same Titan Shifters that appeared during Ymir's flashback in Chapter 122 can be seen fighting the Alliance in this chapter.

I thought it was interesting to finally have Freckled Ymir's description of being a mindless titan get touched upon again. She said that it was like a never ending nightmare. All the shifters Ymir and Eren summoned were asleep in that nightmare, until Zeke and Armin were able to wake them up, if only for a brief amount of time. There was a reason we saw Bertolt crying after Armin ate him. And we were only reminded again in Chapter 135 when Armin saw Bertolt crying again. I don't think these shifters gaining some of there consciousness back is an ass pull at all. We were given some bread crumbs to believe that at least dead shifters exist in some way in Paths after death.

  NOW THAT WE HAVE SEEN KSAVER’S TITAN FORM IN ACTION HOW DO YOU RECONCILE HIM SAYING HIS TITAN ISN’T GOOD FOR BATTLE? 2,078 Responses

39.7% thought him saying his titan was useless was just a lie since he wouldn’t be allowed to pursue his interest in science otherwise. 33.6% figured he was telling the truth and his titan didn’t look that useful. 17.4% think that something truly weird like a whale would’ve served that point better (plus, imagine a whale trying to attack the alliance would be hilarious). 9.2% think it’s just an inconsistency (maybe Isayama realised a whale would’ve been *too* funny).

I want MORE OF TOMS GOAT SHEEP BEAST

No I'm not calling him Ksaver, I will die on this hill

  WHY DO YOU THINK WE HAVEN’T SEEN MORE SHIFTERS SIDE WITH THE ALLIANCE? 2,046 Responses

The shifter crew that appeared to join the alliance created some confusion among readers. Why, for instance  was Kruger there but not Frieda? Where was Lara Tybur? What was the deciding factor in whether or not a shifter returned for the battle? The most popular in world explanation was that  “Zeke could only awaken those he’d met before” (33.6%). It very  narrowly edged out the more practical reason “It’s so we only see the shifters the audience is familiar with” (32.1%). 16.9% believed the Founding and Warhammer couldn’t be used because those are Eren’s titans. And 14.1% believed the reason specific titans were brought back was ideological - they where the only ones who would side with the alliance.  

I am a bit disappointed that Kruger and Grisha are fighting for the alliance now. It just doesn't really make sense that the people who helped Eren get to this point would help stop him. I'm hoping that this isn't them acting independently and are just being controlled by someone.

Ymir is the one controlling all the titans. Why the fuck is she making them fighting eachother? The titans fighting was silly

With Kruger and Grisha helping the Alliance, at this rate, Carla will come back from the dead and disown Eren.

Eren Krueger would not help the alliance he would work with Eren him and Eren have done the same thing on different scales Krueger to the end was steadfast that he did the right thing

I have been thinking that what if we see Zeke's resurrected (or whatever thing you may call it) titan fighting alongside the Alliance?

  FINGERSTEIN? 2,074 Responses

A majority of 57.9% are ALL ABOARD the Fingerstein cart train. 27% seem a little perplexed at how this crack ship blew up from only a few panels together. Well - there’s your answer! 15.1% do not approve of Fingerstein.

Isayama goated with the Jeanpiku content tbh as he should

pikujean/fingerstein omg i ship but i ship mikajean also lmao dont @ me 😔🤚🏻

i’m so glad i got fingerstein content after my months of work for it

Fingerstein is the logical shipping of the only two characters with brains still alive.

That image of a horse and cart made me choke

Does jean like pieck or still inti mikasa?

Nice ship tease of Fingerstein from Isayama, Jean and Pieck are both good characters and deserve to be happy. ^^

  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LEVI FINALLY FULFILLING HIS VOW TO SLAY THE BEAST TITAN? 2,118 Responses

Last month, Levi seemed prepared to give up on his promise to kill the beast titan and we as a fandom were as well. So congratulations to the 32.5% who correctly predicted that Levi might still make the kill on our 136 poll!

A majority at 52.1% were glad to see Levi get to fulfill his vow to slay the Beast Titan. After the many chapters of build up, it’s no wonder. 26.5% were just shocked he actually did it - seriously, how many years have we watched Levi ruminating over monke? 12.1% were disappointed and had wanted Levi to let it go. Don’t worry friends, fanfiction is always there for your Zevi coffee shop AU needs. 9.3% have nothing to say about it.

Where's the 'YAAAAS QUEEN' option for Levi killing Zeke tbh!!

I can’t believe Levi actually did it.

i saw the page where levi finally kills zeke before reading the chapter and I was upset bc major spoiler + it was v visually striking or whatever, so i was v pleasantly surprised that it still managed to take me by surprise. Levi is so savage !

After beheading Zeke, how would you read Levi's expression?

Anyone referring to Levi killing Zeke as "fanservice" is a loser who probably hates Levi for his popularity. Why should everyone else fight for what they want, while he gets nothing?

On Levi killing Zeke, I feel like that's narratively sloppy and only serves as some shitty ass way to make Levi relevant, since there isn't really much to his character anymore. Zeke brought the Titans back to help stop Eren, so technically he's apart of the alliance, right? So why does only he have to pay for his sins, and not anyone else who have committed genocide, partook in war crimes, or perpetuated animosity and hatred towards the Eldians?

Zeke is really dead? :((( I'm sad

I hoped Levi would give up on his revenge, but I liked how Zeke died.

I really liked this chapter but I still feel like something is up with zekie boi. He doesn't feel done yet

Obsessed with how Levi achieved his goal and wasn't even that happy about it. It was so funny to see people treat his vow as this holy grail he would only be happy and at peace if he gained and yet...wow. Doesn't look like the only thing that would make him happy was killing Zeke for Erwin after all huh? Imagine that.

  WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH THE BEAST TITAN POWER NOW THAT ZEKE IS DEAD? 2,052 Responses

A perfect 50% slice of respondents think the Beast Titan is heading straight for Historia’s baby. After all, we haven’t seen any baby inherit any titan in the story; now’s as good a time as any. 37.6% think titan inheritance is done due to the probable end of the curse soon. 5.5% think with Falco being possibly the only titan alive with Zeke’s spinal fluid in him, the titan will be fully inherited by him. And there are many more thoughts on that subject!

Could someone still eat him? How "fresh" does a dead shifter have to be? ???

All this time I was thinking it will randomly go to a newborn eldian baby

back to the founding titan

Eren inherit  the beast titan

floch will be resurrected

Give it to Reiner

Dam. i wanted it to go to levi:))

honestly i don’t know i’m hoping it could be used in case anyone is like about to die yk? but if not i think falco could take it

i am still not sure zeke is dead tho. bet isayama will throw us a curveball like with the serumbowl, when 90% were already attending armin's funeral and then sic! it's erwin who gets the axe

I believe Eren will end the Titan curse and the Titan power will vanish

I believe that the power of the Beast Titan will vanish forever, together with the other titan powers.

i cant answer this, its either historia or falco.

i couldn't say not with Isayams bizzare ideas lmao

I don't think anyone will inherit it before the end of the series, but not necessarily because the curse ends. It's just who gets it will be irrelevant.

I don't think it's going to be important at this point.

I don’t fucking know at this point anymore lol

I dont think it will be adressed

I think zeke may come back, I still don't think he's done yet

im torn between the historia's baby theory where the baby will inherit it or falco will inherit it completely.

Inherited by Historia's baby if Zeke is dead... but that's a big if!

It was already transferred to Falco before Zeke died

It went to a random Eldian baby,  we probably won't get to know who that is by the end of the manga.

It's in a baby in the fort

Might just disappear.

No clue but this is still pretty stupid.

No clue, I just really hope it doesn't go to Historia's baby like a lot of people are theorizing because I'd prefer an ending where she/he is the first child in 2,000 years to be born in a world free of the titan's rule. It just sounds the most fitting to me.

The Beast power is going to pass through paths where Eren and Ymir are at. It's very difficult to predict even though Historia's baby is a nominee for it.

The beast titan will go back to Ymir in paths

The kid is going to transform in  the middle of being delivered, killing Historia in the process.

Since Zeke was fused with Eren's spine-bug-body, it might me transferred to him.

Why is it so sure that historias baby will inherit it? I mean it could be but is there no other Eldian giving birth ?

Ymir is too occupied with the rumbling and titans to send the power to a new beast. It’s be a bit too coincidental if Historia’s child gets it

Zeke convinced Ymir to return Eldia to monke. Everyone is now best titan

  KILLING ZEKE SEEMS TO HAVE STOPPED THE RUMBLING, AS THE ALLIANCE PREDICTED. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE FOR YOU? 2,112 Responses

In our chapter 133 poll we asked if killing Zeke would have any effect on stopping the rumbling and only 4.2% of people thought it would, so we aren’t sure whether to side eye these results or assume a lot of people had a change of heart in the last 4 months.

35.9% agree that Zeke was always the key linking Eren to the full Founder abilities, so his death would put the rumbling on hold. However, just a tiny fraction fewer (35.6%) think we need more info about this, given chapter 122 where Eren convinced Ymir to go with his plan. 16.5% think the halt in the rumbling is just part of a clever ruse by Eren. 12% think chapter 122 made it clear that the Founder’s powers no longer need royal blood, so this development doesn’t make sense.

Outside of killing Eren; Zeke dying seems like the only way the Rumbling could've been stopped. And with all the shows and movies I've seen with the 'leader/controller dies so army stops' it doesn't come across as cheap.

wtf is Eren doing ? If killing Zeke was the way to do it (which is quite weird since royal blood seemed no longer revelant as of 122, but alright, let's admit it), couldn't he have done something to prevent Zeke from leaving paths ????

It was a very confusing chapter. Ymir switching sides and Zeke's death stopping the rumbling made no sense. We need more information.

I really wanna know why the rumbling stopped

  WHAT BEST MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE LOTUS IMAGERY? 2,086 Responses

Was it symbolic or aesthetic? Functional or pure cinge? We had to ask about the usually lotus imagery that while beautifully drawn drew scorn from some parts of the fandom. 38.3% called it primarily symbolic, 37.1% saw it as purely aesthetic. 12.8% considered it “annoying Armin worship”, and 7.9% thinking it perhaps there was a functional reason for the character positioning. There where, of course, plenty of write-ins as well...

It looks sick af

In the final moments, Armin gave thanks to everyone around him for lending their strength. A lesser man might have claimed this to be HIS doing, since Armin indirectly triggered the whole turnaround. The humility is genuine and I respect him deeply for it.

xavier holding Armin was kinda cool but not really.

Quite possibly the worst panel in the manga, both in terms of composition (Bert’s hands are not that big) and theme (Kruger wouldn’t side with the alliance)

Something out of a satanic ritual for the crimson king

STAN ARMIN FOR CLEAR SKIN

Stupid Armin wank and the dialogue makes it cringe.

The panel is fine but the dialogue.... good lord, it makes me physically cringe

The positioning is aesthetic and symbolic, but also protective of Armin.

They're protecting Armin

Up until this moment I was so confused by who Xavier was holding. So it was Armin, makes sense, thanks.

This panel remembers me if a panel where ymir had a contract with the devil. I feel like Armin was like the messiah. Im not sure

A great set up to a huge blow to Eren

Aesthetics and function- if there were any of Eren’s goons still active, they could step in before it could get Armin.

agree with points 3 and 4 😭😭😭 please armin gets handed so much shit on a silver platter FOR WHAT

armin best boy don't hear you

ARMIN HELOS

armin king

Armin worship. Not annoying.

BEAUTIFUL INCREDIBLE JUST WOW POWER IF FRIENDSHIP

Its probably one of the best panels in the series, we just need Krueger and grisha motivations to be there

Kinda cheesy but at the same time beautiful

Didn't even realise it was lotus imagery. I thought it was just a cool shot

Don't have a huge opinion, it looks really cool and I bet there can be deeper meaning found in it.

I don’t really know to be honest but I thought the page looked badass

I have no opinion on this except wow grisha chest hair

I loved it! Armin definitely deserved such beautiful imagery. He is trully pure and kind hearted being who wishes for peace.

I think Isayama loves to imagine his panels in a museum or gallery one day.

CONFUSED

i thought it looked lame

I thought this scene was a bit corny

I'm already conflicted by who is standing here so I really don't know what to think.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE DEVIL THEORY.

It would be epic without Armong

It's aesthetic, but it also functions as a way to allow the alliance to escape the blast zone before Armin transforms. These titans protect Armin long enough to get everyone else out.

It's Armin supremacy😭😩

It's just cringe.

It's the GREATEST PANEL IN ALL OF THE MANGA. VIVA ARMIN!!!!

It's WONDERFUL and NECESSARY Armin worship

It’s a beautiful and touching image, but also a bit too much Armin worship.

It’s a reference to Naruto arriving at konoha to fight pain, that’s exactly what Armin is, a Naruto.

Xaver’s titan can be seen as a devil since it’s a Ram, he’s holding armin in his outstretched hands. I think this is what all the Ymir Apple foreshadowing is, Armin is the apple

probably mostly for aesthetic but also knowing isayama it's probably a bit more than that. i think it shows how armin and his ideologies are key. also, "The Lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures, especially in eastern religions, as a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. Its characteristics are a perfect analogy for the human condition: even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the Lotus produces the most beautiful flower." really fits aot ngl

  WHAT KIND OF BATTLE CAN WE EXPECT AGAINST THE SPINE CREATURE? 2,048 Responses

In yet another detour on the route to actually battling Eren, Reiner was seen wrestling the spine creature in the closing pages of the chapter. What kind of battle can we expect from this new challenger? 32% believe it will be a quick one since Armin will destroy it with his blast. 30.8% are not so optimistic, suggesting weird paths shit will happen first. 20.4% believe Reiner will have his Helos moment killing the creature with a spear. 9.3% selected a surprise Ymir with a steel chair.

Reiner will pierce it using one of the broken Eren bones as a spear like Helos personified

something creepy and disturbing will happen idk

Something creepy and mindblowing, no doubt.

The most powerful creature in aot will die by a single dramatic punch

The Spine creature is indestructible.

There won't be a battle against it.

a dumb one.

Reiner is Thor in Ragnarok fighting Jörmungandr, he is going to kill the creature and finish the Titans Powers, just to die soon after.

Both a battle and some weird Paths shit with Ymir

Reiner will die holding it back

Idk. Just hoping Reiner made it out alive.

Dear lord I have no idea, the only thing I know is Reiner Helos

If we get a fistfight a la Heaven's Feel I will cry tears of joy

It'll be inconsequential compared to Eren returning

It’s not the founding spine. The founding spine is with Eren on Paradis and once the alliance realizes that, it will be too late.

Its already dead, next chapter either Reiner is dead or he has a confrontation with Eren

It will be destroyed by Armin’s transformation

I think the explosion is the best chance for it to die, but I don't know if it'll go down that easy.

I think this is probably it for Reiner. After all he's endured, dying a heroic death would be good, despite me loving his character.

Dunno Reiner's all beat up i don't even know if he can withstand what that big ass spine is going to do

Either by using the warhammer spear to kill it , or some weird paths stuff (Maybe talking to Eren)..

Reiner will fucking die, hopefully

Reiner will keep pushing the spine creature back and tackling it to the ground to do all that he can to prevent it from reconnecting with the Founding Titan's head, and then Armin will land the finishing blow to destroy it thanks to the explosion from the  Colossal Titan's transformation.

Probably another asspull or power of friendship bs.

Punch it like Chris Redfield did with BOULDER

BIRD EAT WORM

Both Reiner and the spine creature will die in the Armong nuke

However way he deals with it, I hope he survives!!!

Can we even expect a battle against it? I was assuming it'd just drop dead sometime lol

who even cares at this point. Whether it is spine-kun or NPC shifters, I am tired of seeing the crew fight mindless opponents.

Why does it care so much about that head? That's not a joke question -- if that body's a Titan, it has options; and if it's a Warhammer construct, the whole thing is a means to an end -- so what does it have to lose?

  WILL REINER ACHIEVE HELOS STATUS BY DEFEATING THE SPINE CREATURE AND/OR EREN? 2,062 Responses

The stage is finally set and we will see if Reiner becomes the hero he once yearned to be. 38.7% of respondents think everyone’s a winner everyone was a part of playing the mythical role of Helos. 32.8% say simply that yes, Reiner will become a Helos figure in defeating the spine thing, or Eren, or both. 15.3% say no, for whatever reason Reiner will not become a new Helos. 13.3% think Reiner has already reached Helos status (the world is still in terrible danger but I like that positivity).

can’t wait to see Helos Reiner!!!

Reiner is my favorite character and I'm really torned between wanting him to die because that'd bring him peace, or wanting him to live to see his mom and take care of Gabi and Falco

I got the bad feeling that even Reiner Helos is going to add to that Mong bullshit somehow. I hope I'm wrong.

I'm hyped for next chapter because it will be the time for us Helos believers to rise, but I'm nervous, because I'm sure that it will come with Reiner's death and I'm not emotionally ready for that.

  IS EREN REALLY DONE, OR IS THERE ANOTHER ACE UP HIS SLEEVE? 2,098 Responses

A pretty solid majority of 62.2% think Eren has more fight left in him. Whaaat, really? Seems out of character. 17.8% think that he’s still in control of the situation, whether he’s dead or alive! 13.4% don’t think he can come back after Armin’s boom, and 6.6% think he may be out of ammo but that Ymir will keep up the fight.

Hope Eren isn't defeated

I think that eren is ready for all of this. Rather hes just die or have another plan but i hope at least the scout know that eren love them and doesnt have other choices.

I am on alliance side but I dont think the fight is over. I want a plot twist and more explanation esp about ymir

Shits an obvious bait lmao. Yams is gonna pull another sneaky on us like he has done since the very beginning. I still haven’t lost faith in Master Yama.

I want Eren to be alive, not because I “like the Rumbling” or because if I’m a Yeagerist (I’m actually pro Alliance), but because I like the story to make literary sense. To me, Eren getting beat in a single chapter after proving that he was incredibly OP was not good writing imo.

If this was genuinely the end, it would have absolute garbage, but every sign points to Eren winning. If you look at the chapter knowing the Avengers have already lost, it's great.

I really don’t think eren is dead. There is no way they would kill him without having any final words

  WITH THE ALLIANCE APPEARING TO HAVE THE UPPERHAND, SOME NEW THEORIES ABOUT EREN HAVE EMERGED. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING DO YOU THINK HAVE MERIT? CHECK ALL THAT APPLY. 2,022 Responses

It wouldn’t be Attack on Titan without a host of new theories with each new chapter! We tried to grab the most common ones to see which had the most traction. A whopping 67% believe there is merit to the theories that Eren knew this was going to happen and it’s part of his plan. Nearly 40% are open to the idea that Eren is remote control powering his titan form from Paradis. About 34% are open to the theory that he’ll touch Historia’s baby to restart the rumbling and 24% haven’t discounted a Lelouch ending. Only 14% of the fandom believe it’s game over for Eren.

my theory is he's faking his death to see if peace is truly achievable - If the Marleyans try to kill the Alliance, the Rumbling will inmediately continue.

I'm holding out for Eren being hidden in the skeleton's ass. Don't get mad if your headcannon doesn't come true. Most people will probably enjoy the ending and that's fine.

Eren hiding like a fckin coward while people are trampled and his friends put their lives at risk for their own goals then Eren using a child to trample some more is the most ridiculous theory I've ever seen.

Eren might wake up and continue his path forward somehow

I hope big twist next chapter

i hope Eren doesn’t just pull a lelouch.

I hope Eren Yeager doesn’t die and I also hope he doesn’t love anyone from “Attack on Titan”

Eren's not done but rumbling won't start again.

Grisha will free Eren from the burden of his consequences that he started all those years ago.

Eren could've disabled the titans powers when he wanted but didn't so he's probably realizing somme illumination from his time with Ymir

Eren wants to die at the hands of the alliance

Eren would try to activate the rumbling again  but there could be a "Miscalculation" that could interfere with his goal (i.e... Historia's child probably inheriting the Beast Titan), Hange: "You said "fight" twice, does this mean it's a two round fight?" The rumbling will restart.

He knows everything that’s happening and he said he will keep moving forward so there’s no way he’s finished yet.

he probably WANTS them to stop him, because he can't stop himself, Honestly don't know, I just know he's alive, monke is dead :(

Eren is not in Paradis, if he was the plotline of Mikasa resolution about killing Eren would be wasted completely because it would avoid making Mikasa having to answer the question and develop a bit of character, despite being set up multiple time during this arc.

I think he has something else up his sleeve that probably isnt mentioned here.

There's so many people said that he will touch historia's baby. Idk i'm alliance but the theory make sense.. I hope not yeah..

What if he's done everything because he knew he would be defeated and that it'd bring peace? He's seen everything happen, if I understood correctly, so he knew he'd be defeated at some point. Maybe that'd mean it was all a part of his plan to bring peace, WHT power is plausible but I don't think he is controlling it remotely in Paradis (that would be a joke on him after all his "moving forward" speech and all). I was thinking about Eren doing the hardening like Annie did to save himself and probably have another card up his sleeve.

He still has some last moments to fight on his own at least, if need be

He wanted to be stopped.

He'll try one final thing, only to be stopped by Mikasa&Reiner for good.

He's actually asleep like we've seen in 131 and like we've seen 2 times before. Armin will talk with his child self in order to help him wake up. When he wakes up, he regrets everything.

he's gonna cry and come back. the end.

  EREN AND HISTORIA’S POVS ARE THE BIGGEST MYSTERIES REMAINING. WITH ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT, WHEN DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE THEM?

The fandom has far more confidence in getting Eren POV chapter than Historia’s with most respondents thinking we’ll get Eren’s perspective in the next chapter. Our fingers are crossed too!!

I hope we see Eren and Historia's POV next chapter

I just wanna know when we’ll see erens POV I feel like the alliance win is too good to be true. Feeling like there’s gonna be an upcoming twist

there should be eren's pov even though its just him inside the titan saying ARRRRRGGGGHHHH (LOL)

Im fucking dying to see Historia again my girl needs her POV of this shitshow

What we can still get is a conclusion on Eren's future memories, and possibly closing up the plotholes like why did Grisha give Eren his titans. Unless Isayama forgot. Maybe the reason Eren's POV is hidden from us is a SHOCKING plot twist that he planned for his nakama to destroy Hallucigenia-chan and stop the Rumbling. Because as we all know, Eren's new motto is ""I just keep snoozing forward, until I destroy, like, 50% of my enemies, and then I want to be stopped"".

We neeeeed Eren POV, we have too many questions

I'm really most interested in an eren pov.  I want to know what has been going through his mind this entire time and his opinion on the outcome

  IF THIS IS THE END OF THE FIGHT, WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE FINAL BATTLE? 2,106 Responses

If this was the final battle, were you satisfied? For close to 60% of the fandom that answer is yes, with 22.7% saying it surpassed their expectation and 36.6% selecting that while they’d have done some things differently they were satisfied overall.  On the negative end of the spectrum, 21.2% thought there was potential but it was cut short, while 9.5% consider this final battle stupid from start to finish.

I thought the final battle was over very easily, but it’s not a cliche shonen power of friendship win considering thousands of innocent people have already been crushed to death and the political situations with non effected countries will be a mess.

I really hope that wasn't everything

I really hope we get to see Eren have a final moment with the others, specifically with Armin and Mikasa.

We better get one last Reiner Vs Eren fight before this shit ends

It feels too wholesome for a final AOT battle...

It felt a bit too compact. The content could easily be expanded upon to create more impact.

If this is the end of the fight then the ending is pretty dogshit ngl, unless we get Erens titan vs reiner one last time

I really hope Reiner is okay :((

It was strong thematically and the battle was interesting.

Think about all the times a character has delivered their final blow with some snarky, raging or otherwise power-flexing way throughout SNK. When it was Armin’s turn to deliver a finishing blow, he did it with such humble humanity and... dare I say love (no, not ship-wise, just general love and respect for the “other side”). Guys, Armin really SHONE this chapter. Not because he took the spotlight, but because he went forth with love.

  DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,436 Responses

Our friend on Twitter, @hooveredbraunie, created a word cloud of responses from each of the 5 ratings from “Rate the Chapter”. We think it’s makes a perfect snapshot of the fandom.

Looking at the list in it’s entirely, yhe top five most chosen words are:

Amazing [71] Good [42] Monke [38] Epic [37] Awesome [28]

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 2,115 Responses

Eren. Alive. 36% are hoping the fight isn’t over. Eren talking to someone in his last moments is next with 18.7%. Of the less popular options are Historia (10.4%), Mikasa making her move (8.7%), Levi wondering what to do now that Zeke is gone (8.2% ), and someone, anyone,  in the alliance dying (6.1%).

Help i need answers😔

I HOPE WE CAN SEE EREN

Hange shard when Hange shard when Hange shard when

I just hope eren’s alive

i just hoped to see an alliance death but no

I just wanna see ymir with historia once again

I just want everyone to have a happy ending but that’s nearly impossible now

i just want historia

I'm just waiting for the next chapter for eren to appear

I just want Levi to die. He deserves to rest, god

I just want to see Reiner Bertholdt reunion

I really want Eren to have a final conversation with someone, preferrably Armin or Mikasa but at this point anyone will do.

I JUST WANT LEVI TO REUNITE WITH ERWIN IN SOME WAY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

Next chapter better be an Ererei talk istg

If Eren is going to lose can we at least get and alliance character dying? At least one!??

I just want to see in the next chapter if the fight is really over but with the WHT and

Please stay alive Eren T^T

pls don’t end :( i can’t emotionally take it :(

Historia's baby, it might not be yet.

I just need more answers 😅

I JUST WANT THE REST OF THE ALLIANCE STAY ALIVE!!!! AND ALSO EREN!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,954 Responses

While Twitter (56.1%), Reddit (41.7%), Discord (24.9%), YouTube (20.5%) and Instagram (16.4%) are still the top platforms for discussing Attack on Titan, TikTok (12.5%) , in its debut on the poll, beat out Tumblr (11.2%), Facebook (7.1%) and a whole slew of other platforms.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 663 Responses

Hey there!

I’m so scared lol😀

I’m surprised my fav characters are still alive

Is eren and reiner alive?

I'm still hoping that they can have a happy ending. The deserves it after all the fights.

I've heard so many different theories on how this series could end and now that we are on the final chapters almost nothing has gone with my expectations. I was blown out of the water with how this final fight went. With expectations for this series so high its impossible for it to satisfy everyone. But I'm really happy with how everything turned out. A lot of plot threads are being closed up in satisfying ways and I'm content with the character development everyone is getting.

There are a few things I've been disappointed about, like the lack of Eren's point of view. But I'll hold off judgment till the series ends. I think i'll enjoy rereading this section of the story once it's finished. I caught up with the manga around 117 and waiting monthly for these chapters was made everything seem longer that it probably actually was. Overall I'm happy with how everything went.

Zeke sort of reminds me of Johan from monster. both had a messed up asf childhood and life in general. both didn't find pleasures in life at all, like simple pleasures like tea or coffee to life and people. Because they knew for themselves life had no meaning. therefore both of them could do basically whatever they wanted sorta bc life had no meaning to them and was destined to go extinct if that makes sense. To them, their actions were justified bc they had no meaning in life. But armin, this hope in the world, also knew the world was cruel. however he chose to find pleasures in it rather than distrusting it all together. He found hope in his friends and reading and more, even if it meant getting hurt by people. I believe armin will talk. This chapter messed me up man. Zeke used to be my least favorite character cause he was weird but now he's one of my favs. His death was def one of the hardest for me. ugh what a beautiful chapter. I wish they all found meaning in life before.

Where is the scarf?

Just a reminder we haven't had Ackerman immunity to mind wipes become relevant yet! It's time, Mikasa.

what the heck is going on

WHERE IS HISTORIA BABY.

reiner helos gallirei canon zeke supremacy gabi gang hoes mad

Gabi has lots of potential, and it was smart to have her as a character study. I mean, not only do we get the perspective of a brainwashed child of war, but through her, it was shown that it's possible to end all conflicts through forgiveness. She is also a replacement for sasha (sharpshooter). Levi is no shooter, but I hope he takes Gabi, and/or the other war kiddies, under his wing. I hope Levi could find another purpose, and I'm imagining being a trainer/teacher best suites him. He cares a lot and gives good guidance with his experience and wisened words…

Gay Ymir please come back and marry your wife

Honestly, I was always kinda neutral towards Zeke. Never really loved him, never really hated him. Hated what he did to the Scouts and subsequently to Erwin, but that hate really didn't last long. He was just kinda...there for me. He was an interesting character, and brought a lot to the series, but I guess it wasn't until the chapter with him and Eren as they went through his and their father's memories (the BIG chapter) that I started to warm up (?) to him. I don't know, it's hard to explain how I really felt about him overall. I will admit though, that his death, although very sudden with Levi coming out of nowhere lol, was impactful and I think a really poetic end for him. Him finally realizing the true meaning of living, seeing the beauty of their cruel world at the very end, and helping to bring an end to the Rumbling, left a very good impression on me. So, in the end...I liked Zeke. He was a good character.

Zeke and Armin's talk is... decent, I guess. Like everything in the final arc, it suffered from bizarre pacing issues, so while the core of the talk is decent, we essentially have Armin changing Zeke's entire worldview with 1 small speech. Then SUDDENLY DEAD PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE LEVI BEHEADS REINER HELOS ARMIN NUKE RUMBLING IS STOPPED... why the hell did we get two fanservice battle chapters just that all this gets stuffed into one?

I want Levi alive. So he can open his dream tea shop. I want him happy

I was happy to see Ksaver's titan, Armin and Zeke's talk moved me, and I'll admit I never thought the spine creature was sentient until this chapter. I'm sad the series is ending. What do I have left to look forward to each month?

Reiner Helos oh shit

I am very disappointed that is all. I feel betrayed to just read shounen battle manga story at the climax of the story. I thought Trost is over. And trost had less of the naruto tropes.

i can only hope that all the characters can live and end with a happy ending, this is ridiculous, but I hope it ends with a happy ending

I can see why some people wouldn't like it but I personal loved it

I can't answer 50% of this, I think my thoughts are unique lmao

I can't believe we are nearing the end... AOT has been with me for years. It has been a steady companion that has asked me to reflect on my morals and convictions. It has presented different points of view to me that I had to engage with. It has helped me shape my views on the world we are living in. I don't think I am ready to say goodbye to AOT yet. But I have to.

i miss eren

I miss monke

I miss zeke

I NEED MORE

I NEED MORE ANSWERS

I need more chapters, man.

I really don't get the hate for it

I really don't like Armin

I realy don't now what iysyama doing

Wish Hanji was still alive

Worst chapter of the entire series. If eren was actually defeated, and being defeated wasn't his intention, this chapter ruined the series and his character.

I sympathize for baby Zeke's struggles and the trauma he had to experience but honestly he ain't special in this manga, everyone has a sad fucking backstory. He was a pathetic little sadist, always puffed up about how Clever™ he was for double-crossing people and yet never seeing the obvious betrayal coming from Eren. I know the justification for that is "aw he cared for his baby brother uwu" but that was what made him so pathetic - for all his posturing about being smart and pragmatic for the Greater Good (which was his justification for the euthanasia plan) he was just as emotional and fallible as all the people he looked down on. His lack of self-awareness and depth of selfishness disgusts me. This ending was too good for him. He died as a martyr and he deserved much, much less. Tbf, for baby Zeke's sake, I am glad he got to see some happy memories of Xaver towards the end, but I thought his death was tasteless and a slap in the face of all the people he murdered before. (*ahem* Mike)

Suddenly grew a soft spot for zeke.

Zeke is honestly such a masterclass in character writing and it is so impressive that Isayama has written so many amazing characters. I started out really hating Zeke for what he did to Miche, and that impression carried for a long, long time, even until it was revealed that he had his own agenda, that he might be playing the long game helping Eldians, I didn't believe it because of what he did to Miche. In fact, it was Eren's cooperation with Zeke that made me turn on Eren post-timeskip. When we got that hint of Zeke backstory, I was actually kind of miffed. Like no way, Isayama, you're not going to make me sympathize with Zeke. Not happening. Yet, after I read the chapter, my thoughts were Grisha is a shit dad. Absolute shit dad. Anyway, I was still glad Eren bested Zeke in Paths, though once the Rumbling activated, I realized that I agreed with Zeke's plan better. So he's really become an interesting character for me, and I was even really excited to see him return at the end of last chapter. I still don't like him very much, but he is incredibly compelling and interesting, and I'm definitely a bit more forgiving of his earlier actions. Miche's death still sucked though.

Zeke is one of the most well written character of all time

Zeke is so fucked up, but he's hilarious and extremely meme-able. He's a tragic, well-written character who committed monstrous acts. If he didn't die here, he should have been locked up for the rest of his life.

Zeke is such a underrated but sad character. He truly taught his plan was the best Eldians. He was brain wash from his own parents and send them into pure titans, while his half brother had a normal childhood. In the end, he sacrificed himself to defeat Eren.

Zeke is super smart and very strong man ; he was defending his own past and his own sadness ; but he lost when he tried to follow his wrong feeling of sympathy toward eren ; he was thinking that he is a victim either from their father; this makes him lost everything he lived for until this moment..

Zeke is very great and one of the most important character to the story, his development also very good, i'll miss him

Zeke jeager was of course the first of the two jeager brothers and surprisingly the first son of Grisha I think as Hajime Isayama presented him it was awesome but I still not sure about his death is he really dead or is there any twist left in the last two chapters but still 🤞🤞 let’s see what is left in the series.

Zeke just wanted the eldians to be free but the way he wanted to make them free was wrong. That’s why I didn’t like him that much. But I think right now I’m sad that he had to die.

Zeke made many decisions in order to achieve his goal of ending the painful cycle of Eldian life, and because of that I feel sorry for him. I feel sad that he felt that he needed to make those decisions, and I’m glad that he was able to finally see the beauty in life at the end.

Zeke's a very interesting character to me. I love the irony of Grisha teaching him how cruel the world is in the hopes that it would radicalize him, only for it to make him wish he was never born. The guy never got the chance to just be a regular kid, except for when he was with Tom Ksaver. Tom acted like a parent should to a child, and as such Zeke ended up following through on Tom's vision rather than Grisha's. He was supposed to save the Eldian people, but came to the conclusion that it would be better if they were wiped out. I'm glad his past was brought up again in 137 where Zeke was contrasted with Armin. Zeke was born into a role with high expectations, compared to Armin who earned his expectations through repeated successes. Armin was able to grow up as the regular kid that Zeke wishes he was. His past traumas also lead him to project his own insecurities, which we can say by his assumption that all Eldians are born to suffer, and in thinking that Eren was brainwashed by Grisha, both of which aren't necessarily true. Overall I'd say Zeke is one of my favorite characters in the series, and I'm just scratching the surface of why I like him so much.

Zeke was used by others in some way, over his entire life. The restorationists goals. Kusaver using him to ease his own guilt. Marley’s military. Eren as well. I can’t help but wonder how he could have turned out if anyone had sincerely given a fuck about his own happiness.

Hate that Historia is continuing to be ignored.

I feel happy that most people are ok, but I just know that it can't last long. I hope they get a fast death at least if it all goes to hell;-;-;

I feel like eren is going to get his full freedom

I feel like it was mega rushed

I feel like people need to chill out quite a bit. Big surprise, the ending does not go according to your theories, who might’ve predicted that? Please take a moment to clear your head of the entitlement you might have accumulated in the last months, sit back and enjoy the rest of the ride. No need to get so angry over every little detail. And if you can’t even do that? You’re free to leave, but please stop spreading hate everywhere, thanks!

I feel like the reaction was so overblown. We have more chapters left, people shouldn’t disown the series now

I haven't cared about the direction this story's been going in since timeskip so I'm just along for the ride

i hope everyone will die at the end

I hope I could get inside that universe

I hope the ending won't be another typical ending like naruto with UMI DA. Whatever it is, I trust in Isayama who is a master in twist somewhat definitely can't wait for the next chapter :)

WTF Cringevangers could defeat him easy like that.. when they fight with yeagerist Annie and Reiner got heavy damage but fight against 9 Titans ? This is too easy to win.. they have not more sacrifice

Yams has done an impressive job tying this work as a whole, in terms of plot, character development, and themes

I hope there's chance for annie and armin being together because i've ship them since season 1 huhu

I hope this isn't a set up for talk-no-jutsu. One thing that set SnK apart from other fantasy/supernatural shonens was the least use of talk-no-jutsu (it was there way early in the manga and anime but still it was least). Overall, I guess when more information/clarification could've been given, we got more talk and a dissatisfying death, I expected more.

I hoped Armin would have escaped PATHS using a big brain plan

I hoped Mikasa would cut Eren out and feed him to Gabi

I just hope eren isn’t dead so that we can get one more plot twist of the series

I want everyone to be happy in the end please

I want levi to be able to tell Eren what he wanted to say to him :))))

it is mostly about zeke and armin but the other characters were also amazing, it is sad to see levi killing zeke with that expression, I'm not sure why but he is like anger to sad. anD MY ARUANI HEART OMGG, ISAYAMA DON'T KILL THEM PLS, JUST ONE COUPLE PLS T_T and additional, we are really not sure where's eren, is he really that head? what might happen next like will he continues the rumbling? who's the father of historia's baby? I hope it will be cleared in the next chapters, Im exciteddd!!

It kinda sucked.

It left a permanent stain on the name of the series, even if the ending is godlike or even if eren wins how the fuck are you going to explain this bullshit that makes zero sense and gives me vibes of a fanfic writer making it?

It left unanswered questions

It left us with more questions than answers, and I hope we get them soon. But it was satisfying overall

i love you isayama🥰😍😘 (pls don’t kill armin or mikasa i cant take this anymore🤣😁🤪🤩)

It makes me question "what will the alliance do next? Is Eren still alive? What happens to Historia?" Next chapter should answer all of that.

It ould have been longer to flesh out each scenario and make it more believable, Zeke's change would be better if a few pages more was used to add more detail to his change. The fight scene should be fine as it is. As for the death of Zeke it needs to be longer, it would have made the audience much more sattisfies, his death is a turning point and it could have played out better if Isayama paid more attention to it. But overall I enjoyed it.

it was absolutely amazing and has a great impact especially on armin, eren and mikasa

It was actually great and I think it's setting up the tone for something big in the next chapter

Truly devastating

u/animew3eb was here

It was all just so rushed and convenient- levi killing zeke like it's nbd, zeke being dead completely stopping their problem, all these random dead people coming back to life it's like - what is this? why rush things this much in the last 3 chapters?  i'm hoping isayama has something up his sleeve but the power of friendship defeating eren's still as of yet unexplained character change has left me super disappointed.

It was amazing as always and still leave me confused on certain parts but that's okay i will understand everything after it ends

It was an alright chapter, about what I really expected, as much as I'd like to I never thought Eren would win and the chapter ended the way I thought it would. With so much negativity surrounding this chapter hopefully the next chapter and the finale will ease people's mind, some people just need to remember this is a Shonen not a Seinen of course the alliance were gonna win.

It was awesome I just hope the last 2 chapters can emphasise this chapter and give it a bit more meaning

It was good definitely unexpected. If next chapter we don't see eren's POV than chapter 137 is bad.

It was good even if cheesy, looking towards 138.

It was good. Had some great moments like Reiner vs the spine creature and Levi fulfilling his promise. Zeke’s ending was really good too. But feel like a lot of potentially pivotal stuff happened with not the best delivery of explaining how/why. This may be revealed more in the final two chapters though so I won’t judge

It was good. The way we got emotions and fight scenes all in one chapter is another peak fiction writing skill from Isayama. As a lot of people think tho, some things shown in the chapter were confusing and kinda out of context, but I guess we'll gonna have all the answers in the last 2 chapters. Ngl, there was some obvious plot armor there in the Alliance side but I think Isayama already gave us enough suffering to ask for more deaths (man, just the thought of how EMA might end after this is more than enough). The ending will definitely define if AOT will go down at the best manga/anime of all time.

It was great! There are a lot of questions unanswered tho

it was great. i got goosebumps but knowing that there are only two chapters left i am really still wondeeing how things would end. knowing a lot of theories are circling on the internet i am also still confused of what will happen next so i am really looking forward on the fina chapters. uuuuuuu i dont want aot to end thoooo 😭

it was kinda confusing but it was really cool

It was kinda lame, I don’t want characters winning through power of friendship.

It was predictable, but the manner in which it was done was very good. I have more mixed feelings for eren since there is a possibility that he is dead.

It was really good, Although I side with eren, it was nice seeing the alliance getting a win

We surprisingly DIDN'T find out about the outcome of the standoff at fort Salta; last month I was sure leaving it as a cliffhanger was a waste of time since it was obvious that they were going to cooperate and aid the Alliance, but now that the Rumbling has been stopped, Maybe the twist next chapter is that the warriors arrive to see their loved ones dead/dying at Marleyan hands?

We're just rehashing the same lessons of previous arcs and we're just supposed to have conveniently forgotten them...both the feeling of powerlessness/futility of living and the message of "true freedom is..." were already covered by Eren himself back in Uprising and then in his convo with Shadis about what Carla wanted for him. Yams are you telling me he didn't learn a thing and we gotta see other people come to the same conclusions? Ok..........

Were in the Endgame now. Eren's seeming death is used to subvert expectations and is from the POV of Armin. He said goodbye to Eren expecting for him to die from the explosion, e does not say it as fact.

What a stupid chapter for my birthday.

While answering a couple questions, this chapter also made me realize that I didn't understand shit :) Maybe once the manga has ended and all my questions are answered, I will finally succeed in understanding this masterpiece.

I'm honestly shocked. I mean, every chapter got me shocked, but DAMN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S GONNA COME TO AN END SOON WAAAAAAAAAAAH

Again, this this wasn’t enough the full list on write-ins, all 131 pages, are available. View as doc or pdf.

Thanks as always for your support of the community poll <3

[full-of-light]

Klaroline in Legacies so far.

This is for all my comrades who refuse to watch Legacies (for good reasons) and want to know about the Caroline and Klaus mentions in Legacies. This post naturally contains TVD, TO and Legacies spoilers so read at your own risk! Inspired by @bossyblondebabe​‘s post asking about Klaus and Caroline in Legacies.

Caroline:

• It’s mentioned that she is in Europe taking care of Salvatore School-related business, but it is later revealed she's actually looking for a way to stop the twins from having to merge.

• As for direct interactions with other characters, her kids sometimes stay with her in Europe for a while (off-screen) and in one of the latest episodes her daughter Josie calls her for advice because she wants to make the right decision (but you can't hear Caroline's voice during the phone call).

It's later revealed that Caroline said that people deserve to know the truth and make their own choices.

• Caroline is just mentioned as a good mom and her advice in general is also mentioned. For example: “You know how Mom always says that things work out in the end the way they're supposed to? She's right”. Other characters just mention how Caroline, although she’s not their biological mom, did a great job raising Lizzie and Josie.

• It’s said that Lizzie takes more after Caroline and Josie takes more after Josette. (In my opinion they are both very different from Caroline, but Lizzie is a bit more similar to Caroline than Josie).

• Alaric has also been on the phone with her multiple times. They mostly just talk about how Caroline is busy following leads on stopping the merge.

• Other than that she has a pretty good relationship with her daughters and her daughters really want her to come home.

• Caroline didn't want to tell the twins about the merge until her and Alaric exhausted all options to stop it from happening, but eventually did tell her kids that the weird device they had was an Ascendant and that Josie and Lizzie made it with Aunt Bonnie when they were five, but she didn't tell them if it had anything to do with the merge.

• Caroline searched for and picked the new headmaster of the Salvatore School (Alaric's replacement) herself but it turns out she didn’t do a great job which I refuse to believe because... she’s Caroline Forbes?!

So basically she's just busy off-screen 24/7.

Klaus:

• He is mostly mentioned as "the big bad wolf" or “Klaus Mikaelson: The Great Evil” (literally printed in a book at the Salvatore School lmao) by anyone other than Hope. It’s mentioned that he was one of the earth’s Original Vampires and that he wasn’t very popular around Mystic Falls.

• Hope usually just mentions him as her dad and randomly makes remarks about him like:

“Turns out even immortal beings can find a way to die eventually.” “The people I care about have a tendency to die on me.” “I try not to get close to people anymore.” “I've spent years torturing myself, asking myself why my father sacrificed himself for me, to get to this point where, I mean, I totally understand it.”

It is implied that she has abandonment issues because of his death.

• In one episode The Necromancer talks to Hope about her dad. He says that Hope wants to know how her dad is or WHERE he is. She denies this but The Necromancer doesn’t believe her. He says she wants to know if he's at peace or if he's suffering, regretting his sacrifice because he did die to save Hope's life after all. Hope keeps saying he’s wrong and won’t admit that she wants to know. She says she’s at peace with her dad and that he did die because of her, but that it was his choice and that she’s come to terms with it. She says The Necromancer is wrong about her and that she doesn’t need to know anything blah blah blah.

Later in the episode however she finally admits she wants to know about her dad. She says her family said that he must have died with love in his heart and that he should’ve found peace but she doesn’t know if that’s actually true. She says she really needs to know that he’s not alone because she can’t live with herself if Klaus is alone because no one should ever have to be.

The Necromancer screws her over later in the episode but before he leaves he does mention her father again. He says that Klaus watches over Hope every day and that he did die with love in his heart and doesn’t regret his choice, but he won’t find peace until Hope does. Later in the episode, Hope writes a letter to her dad:

“I was told today that you would never find peace until I found it in myself. I hope that was a lie told to punish me. God knows I deserved that. But if it's true, I'm gonna do better. Today I saw a glimpse of what true loneliness feels like. Of what lies in store for me if I don't find my own peace. So I'm gonna get to work on that. I'm glad to know you're with me, but I look forward to the day when you're not. I love you. - Hope. ”

• He can be seen in family photos in Hope's room (Hayley has been removed from photos but she has been mentioned as Hope’s mom). Hope is mentioned to have lost half of her stuff in a fire a few years ago including the only painting she made with her dad. It’s later revealed that Josie was the person who accidentally set Hope’s whole room on fire instead of just one particular thing she was aiming for, which meant Hope lost an important keepsake because of Josie.

• Freya was also in one episode for like two scenes but Klaus wasn’t really mentioned and she basically had no dialogue with Hope except for calling each others names and hugging. Freya did mention to Josie that her kid was called Nik (presumably after Niklaus, because who else?).

So basically he’s just Hope’s dad who was evil (but not in everyone’s eyes), and Hope misses him 24/7.

Klaroline:

There are two #KlarolineConfirmed episodes, both in season one.

S01E10

This episode is the most confusing when it comes to the Klaroline mentions because they don’t make sense. In this episode Lizzie ends up in alternate realities by wishing Hope doesn’t exist/was never born (don’t remember) in which it’s mentioned that Klaus gave money to Caroline for the Salvatore School in their own world, but that this didn’t happen in the reality they were currently in which is why the school looks awful.

However the reasoning Lizzie gives (“Hope's dad wrote my mom a big check to fund the school when it opened, so no Hope, no funding, no fun.”) makes no sense, because Klaus didn’t give Caroline the money just because Hope went there and he met Caroline and was in love with her before Hope existed. I’m also pretty sure Klaus gave her the money before they convinced the Mikaelsons to enroll Hope in their school and by then the school already looked nice. On top of that Caroline is a vampire and the Salvatores were pretty rich too so I just don’t really understand this but i’M nOt A wRiTeR so whatever.

In the same episode Lizzie ends up in another alternate reality/universe where Klaus can be seen on a poster as a wanted man. Later you can see sketches of Caroline and Klaus next to each other in a newspaper article where they are mentioned as husband and wife and enemies of the state. Alaric tells Lizzie Klaus turned off his humanity years ago and started a war and ended up exposing the supernatural world and now they’re being hunted. You can watch those scenes in this video (from 1:24):

Although it's a nod to the Klaroline fans, not a lot about it makes sense. Why does one line say “Klaus Michelson and Caroline Forbes” and the next “Klaus Mikaelson and his wife Caroline Mikaelson?” Why did Klaus turn off his humanity? Is that even possible after being a vampire for so many years? Why would Caroline go along with it? Why would the smart and powerful Niklaus Mikaelson be that stupid and expose the supernatural world even with his humanity off and not have common sense like no-humanity Caroline? It makes zero sense.

I’ve seen theories about them “losing it” because of them losing family members and friends and not having children but to me that still doesn’t make sense. They’ve lost family members before and Klaus has lost so many acquaintances over the centuries... I could maybe see them being sad in the next century when Caroline has lost all her friends and realises she’ll make new friends and experience this over and over again for the rest of her life but that doesn’t explain why they would both be like that and expose the entire supernatural community. Klaus has lived for centuries, he could’ve easily exposed the supernatural world by now but never went that far even when he killed his own parents, lost his home, when his siblings were murdered, when he desperately wanted to create an entire hybrid army, when he tried to reclaim New Orleans... I just don’t see how this could actually happen.

In TVD S04E04 Klaus and Rebekah tell the story of the hunter Alexander and Klaus said that they (The Originals) were traveling and feeding on people and turning people into vampires as they went. “With bloodshed came exposure”. So Elijah makes a remark that Klaus and Kol haven’t been discreet. Klaus replies to this statement by making a quick joke about welcoming such infamy, but immediately mentions that he isn’t the one Elijah should worry about, but Rebekah. This implies that even though he feeds and turns people and makes jokes about it, he has no intention of exposing himself completely to the general public. He even gets really pissed when Rebekah exposes all of them and they all get daggered by the hunters so this is not something Klaus would ever do.

But yeah... so... What am I supposed to gather from this? That Klaus and Caroline are soulmates in every possible universe? That even when things are totally different and literally nothing else make sense, they still do? I guess I’ll take it.

We could’ve had it aaaaaaaalllllll.  ♫

S01E14:

In this episode Lizzie gives Hope the blue TVD S03E14 Mikaelson Ball Klaroline dress to wear to the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant. Then this scene happened:

Apparently Josie knew the dress was a gift from Klaus to their mom that he picked out himself, but Lizzie didn’t know it was from Klaus specifically but just that it was a gift from a guy who used to crush on their mom. Also: yes, Caroline Elizabeth Forbes kept The Dress™ all these years.

Other random stuff you might want to know:

• In the season 1 finale Hope says she thought she was a cosmic mistake that was never meant to be born, but she now thinks that the only reason she and the stupid hybrid baby plot exists because nature needed to find a loophole to be able to destroy Malivore: a tribrid (because Malivore was created by the blood of a werewolf, a witch and a vampire).

• Some characters from The Originals like Jackson, Davina, Cami, Keelin and Kol can be seen in a few photos in New Orleans in the Freya cameo episode.

• Family members can be seen in family photos in Hope’s room.

• Damon and Elena apparently have kids and one of them is called Stefanie (the audacity lol) but that’s in an alternate universe??? Or in the real one too??? Idk.

• Kai Parker will also return in 2020 but I’m not sure if I’m happy about that. He’ll probably make his episode(s) worth the torture that is Legacies but Julie will probably just kill him again (and probably in a lame way).

• Jeremy and Matt have shown their faces once or twice for a completely useless guest star appearance.

• Matt was the sheriff who was mentioned to be running for mayor, later it was revealed he actually became the mayor of Mystic Falls.

• Something I noticed is that although the twins call Bonnie “Aunt Bonnie”, they call Elena and Damon just Elena and Damon Salvatore. In a recent episode Lizzie was driving the blue Camaro and she told Sebastian her “dad’s friend” (Damon) gave it to her and Josie for their sixteenth birthday.

• There is this new character called Sebastian who is shipped with Lizzie and they are blatantly copying Klaroline scenes and roughly “the concept” (old vampire with European accent, blonde girl, sex in the open, the car ride camera shots, even the dialogue had a copy-paste “I fancy you” in there). Although I expected to like the Lizzie/Sebastian relationship when it was teased because I like the stereotypical bad guy and good girl dynamic it turns out to be not nice at all imo. People are calling it the new Klaroline and although their scenes and lines are a ripoff (which is not something to be proud of, I’d rather see fresh material) their dynamic is completely different. It reminds me more of Damon/Caroline to be honest. “Old handsome but cocky vampire stranger comes into town and flirts with me and I’m way too into it.” There is almost no feeling of push and pull although they like to portray it like it’s there by having them bicker for 1 minute. They met a few episodes ago and she’s already obsessed with him, then hates him, then sleeps with him and he’s just way too annoying for me. Not my taste. He comes off as a completely arrogant prick and I don’t know what Lizzie sees in him tbh. He also doesn’t come off as genuine to me, I feel like there’s 0 feelings and just purely lust and plotting? It seems like the writers thought that giving Caroline’s blonde daughter a love interest (with a cleaner slate) with similar dialogue and scenes to Klaroline  would make fans happy but the characters are not that similar to Klaus and Caroline. The dynamic is just completely different. Also Sebastian grabbed her by the throat in and it wasn’t really hot or slightly funny like I’m sorry but Klaroline did it way better.

I also want to make it clear that you can ship whoever you want to ship and I’m not trying to drag S!zzie. I expected to like them together but the more scenes I watched the less I liked them and I’m a bit disappointed. I don’t puke everytime they have a scene together but I’m not into it either. So once again: I don’t hate S!zzie or S!zzie shippers but I’m just not that into it and I think the parallels are kind of shitty and not a good thing for both fandoms. Have a great day and have fun shipping your ship and please don’t attack me bye.

• Relationship dynamics are really weird in this show. Alaric seems to be more of a father to Hope than to Lizzie and Josie and he keeps dragging Hope’s dad.

• This show has a new Elena and if you thought it was Hope (because Julie Plec likes to call her the better Elena) then you’re wrong. It’s actually Landon Kirby. He’s bland and he’s just kind of there, having a love triangle. Although it’s true that Hope also has the I’m-Special-And-Everyone-Is-Magically-In-Love-With-Me-For-No-Reason-Syndrome. I get that Danielle is pretty, I have eyes, but we don’t all fall in love with every pretty person that walks by and she’s portrayed as “the loner” so it doesn’t make sense to me but hey.     

• The show is pretty bad, 90% of the episodes have the same plot and there’s a ton of cringy dialogue. There’s only one or two compelling characters and only a few decent actors. Some characters have even less of a storyline than Matt Donovan or April Young from TVD. The monster of the week thing destroys the well-constructed mythology the parent shows have built over the years and it’s really repetitive and predictable.

• The storyline doesn’t seem to be moving towards something like in TVD or TO. Every episode is the same stuff over and over again. I could excuse this if this meant that there was more of a focus on developing characters and relationships but that doesn’t happen either.

• The complete shitstorm of ships in this show is absolutely ridiculous. Before I watched the show I heard about Hos!e, Pos!e, H@ndon, H@fael and whatnot. Especially the first two are mentioned a lot. Then I watched the show and I just don’t get the hype for even a single ship, but I get why there are so many ships. Nothing is a crackship in this show except for the two twins and it’s because the writers push everyone to be with everyone and don’t have a clear direction in mind for the romantic storylines of their characters. If someone is dating someone they also need to have “cute” scenes with someone else, and another one has to have a crush on them, and it needs to be mentioned that that character also had a crush on someone 5 years ago, and then the writers bring in another character or two to have a crush on the same character for no reason... and they have been dragging this out since episode 1! Whereas in TVD characters would usually move on (like Caroline and Elena would move on from their romantic storylines with Matt for example. Caroline gets with Damon, that goes wrong and she moves on to Matt, but then Tyler comes into the picture. Caroline gets with Tyler, eventually Klaroline comes along but by then M@ttoline (?) and D@roline (?) were already ditched a few miles back...). With Legacies you have these vague mentions and possibilities for romantic storylines but none are even really explored on their own or even in a love triangle (if the writers really have to do it that way) by having the characters going through stuff together. Instead they choose to keep every romantic option in the picture as mentions or relationships that don’t go much deeper than “I love you””I love you too” (nobody knows why but ok) which means some characters have like 7 ships that all have a decent fanbase and it’s wild.

• The awkward fact that Danielle Rose Russell (Hope) has more chemistry with Nick Fink (Ryan Clarke) than Aria Shahghasemi (Landon Kirby) makes me question things. 

I’m still watching because I’m waiting for some TVD characters to appear and I like to hear old characters being mentioned but tbh I wouldn’t recommend it when there are so many other great shows out there. Just watch the Klaroline mentions online. I mean there are some decent scenes in there but 90% of the show makes me question my sanity. In the latest episode the writers decided Santa was real and they made him fight a monster by punching him in the face and at one point Santa is flying through the air and hitting a christmas tree while a rock version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” is playing in the background and I wish I was joking. And that was the last episode before the hiatus. And they just left me there like that. After seeing that. In the TVD universe. I just imagine Klaus’s ghost hanging around and seeing that and I can’t hold my laughter. Or JoMo watching that stuff at home like....

And people still wonder why he doesn’t want to come back hahaha.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 49-51

Chapter 49

So the queen of Adhira, Lira’s aunt, is, like, super disappointed with Lira and her shenanigans. Lira finally explains that while she loves her aunt, she doesn’t want to be her, aka refuses the role of planetary queen once more. I honestly have no idea what reasons Alara has for making Lira her heir, because Lira has evidently never shown any interest in politics. Why she won’t just make Lon her heir? He seems loyal and eager. Idk I guess feminism or something. Oh and we need a character conflict for Lira. Doy.

Anyhoo, Alara says that she’s been in contact with General Cortas and knows about his deal with the crew. She says she can instead offer Lira a position as a pilot for Adhira’s new starfleet. Which they apparently didn’t have before? She says they need a stronger presence “in the sky” if there’s another war, and like 1) that’s not the sky and 2) you mean to tell me that this entire planet of randos that do in fact train pilots judging by Lira’s existence ... doesn’t have a starfleet already?

Oh, but the ship Alara offers Lira is “the fastest model in the Mirabel galaxy”. The fastest model of ... what? Is it a frigate? A cruiser? A fighter? We don’t even get any made-up specs or even a general specialization, all we get is that it’s the fastest and coolest ship ever that everybody wants right now but it’s not even out on the market yet! Because that makes sense for the government that just admitted they had a minuscule starfleet to have. I would’ve accepted it if Alara tied the existence and offer of the ship back to her correspondence with General Cortas and the ship was a diplomatic gift from Arcardius, but it’s specifically mentioned to be Adhiran.

So ... these guys don’t have a meaningful “presence in the sky”, but they DO have the tech, the budget, and the marketing strategy to make the most wanted and advanced starship in the galaxy?

Oh, and this starship? Lira would pilot it as a commercial ship. So the queen wants to invest in a bigger starfleet ... except this one extra fancy ship she’s willing to throw away for regular trade? I mean I guess it makes sense if she doesn’t want to put Lira in danger but does want to sweeten the deal with a sick starship, but then I have to wonder why the previous info about the general and the lacking starfleet is even in here at all?

This whole situation is just doubt dot jpeg.

We find out that the offer only stands this once, and only if Lira immediately removes herself from her current mission and also leaves her crew to stay on Adhira. Apparently the super sexy cool new ship hasn’t even been built yet, it’s literally just a sketch, but Alara has set aside funds to start construction. But it’s also famous enough of a ship already that everyone wants it?

I’m no politician but the logistics of it all make my brain hurt. It’s just really ass-backwards, is what I’m saying. It really feels like Shinsay just wrote one word in front of the other without any consideration of the words that came before.

Oh and Lon is here also. I’m only saying this because he bites his lip and his blood is blue and I need you to remember this for future reference.

Lon and Alara tell Lira to pick them and ditch her friends because her friends are bad for her and tbh are they wrong? Are they though? Lira leaves to go mope about how uninteresting her character conflict is and finds Alfie and Dex.

Alfie sat beside him on the couch. The AI was oiling his gears while Dex oiled his insides with a bottle of Griss.

I had to read about Dex oiling his insides and now so do you.

Wait ... is Dex butt-chugging this Griss? Dex, you know that’s bad for you, bud?

Lira asks Dex if there was truly no way to save both Andi and his dad, to which Dex replies something appropriately dramatic that nobody would actually say out loud (something something tearing galaxies something), and Lira mopes out of that room as well in grim understanding of their symbolically similar situations before the chapter ends.

Chapter 50

We’re back with Andi. The girls are all “training” aka playfighting out in the open and inconveniencing the people around them while Andi angsts about how broken and sad and black her soul is and how everything is her fault including Valen’s and Lira’s pain and how much she just LOVES these WONDERFUL WOMEN she calls her crew and how HARD it was to open up to them after Kalee and Dex but now that she has she would never give them up for ANYTHING.

It goes on for literally pages and I’m not going to include it because 1) it’s pretty much a rehash of shit we already know and have seen her angst about and 2) the fact that Andi’s thoughts and character “development” is happening in her mind alone and the other girls are doing something else makes this feel really jarring and ironically disconnected. There’s nothing wrong with having emotional chapters where not much “plot” happens, but maybe have people actually, like, talk and interact with each other? Instead of just having one character think about how deep and damaged they are? Idk, just a thought.

Anyway, after several pages of pointless nonsense, Andi finally starts crying and tells the other girls that the new info from Dex and Valen’s whole deal has been taking a toll on her. She also apologizes to Lira, which, bonus points, and to the others for getting her into this. Unfortunately Lira undoes the apology and Andi’s attempt at taking responsibility and admitting to wrongdoing by saying she doesn’t need an apology and only needs to hear Andi complain so she can be the emotional sponge and fortune cookie advice dispenser of the group just like Shinsay always intended.

Now, to be fair, this section is honestly quite touching and I wish Shinsay had focused more on the friendship instead of ... well, literally everything else. Observe:

“I tried to kill [Dex]. What if I’d succeeded?”

“You didn’t,” Breck said. Her dark eyes met Andi’s pale ones as she spoke. “And now you know his side of the story, and he knows yours. You both did terrible things, broke promises, ruined a mutual trust. You can hold on to your anger, if you think that makes you strong.” She smiled a little then. “But brute strength isn’t everything, Andi. Trust me, I would know.”

Man, Breck is really wasted on this book, isn’t she? Or at least the concept of Breck. There isn’t much of her to waste in the first place, lbr.

Andi admits that if Valen tries to kill her when he wakes up, she’s not sure she’ll want to stop him. Um. Shinsay ... It’s time to close the laptop and go outside I think. You are not equipped to handle this.

The crew tells Andi that they can carry some of her burdens for her, which is very sweet, if only Andi showed the same thing in return. Right now all she’s done is mope around, think about how much she loves her crew because they’re just so supportive, and then unload her emotional baggage on them. To her credit, Andi seems hesitant and tells Lira she’s there for her too. Lira’s about to spill the blue beans when Alfie interrupts to tell them that Valen is awake. Lira says that whatever she was about to say isn’t important in what I assume is supposed to be dramatic irony? But watch this actually get forgotten and resolved without her input, making Lira some sort of prophet.

All in all, not the worst chapter, but definitely bloated.

Chapter 51

Andi is pacing back and forth and trying to hype herself up before the meeting with Valen. We find out that apparently, the entire planet of Adhira has no military, because they’re just SO peaceful? Yeahh ... no. The only way I’d accept that is if they had, like, some sort of mind-control abilities and networks of spies and agents in the governments of every other planet nation to prevent any conflict to turn on Adhira, which I doubt since they’re supposed to be the peaceful hippies of the story. It would be mad hardcore if that were the case, but alas, I fucking doubt it my dudes.

Besides, wasn’t Adhira in the war against Xen Ptera? Or did they sit it out but still celebrate the victory as if they helped? What’s going on there?

Also, it’s been four years since Andi last interacted with Valen, which I belive makes her 18-19? Meaning Dex was an older teen when he boned down mid-teens Andi. Ok ok ok ok.

Anyway, today is the day of Revalia, which the United Systems celebrate as it marks the end of the Cataclysm. Andi is not hyped. She’s also not hyped for the Intergalactic Peace Summit that’s happening.

[...] leaders from each of the four systems would be present to symbolize that peace still existed in the galaxy, and would continue to exist between the planets that made up the Unified Systems.

So ... Um. I know Shinsay probably think that “intergalactic” is a really cool sci-fi word and they’ve heard it used before so they had to put it here because it sounds science-y and official, but ... intergalactic means between galaxies. Not between star systems or planets. Given how the summit is defined, interplanetary would be more fitting because they’re all coming from different planets from different solar systems all within the same one galaxy. (Not entirely sure what fancy word would be used for multiple systems, but my point still stands.)

The secondhand embarrassment is strong in this one, y’all. Who edited this?

Gilly finds a Marketable Fuzzy Space Pet and convinces Andi to let her keep it, naming it Havoc. It’s impressive how not charmed I am.

Dex enters with Valen and Andi thinks about how different they are and how fucked-up Valen looks.

What horrors had he lived through?

Being thrown down a flight of stairs, for one. He was rotting at some point also. You know, from all the torture you know he went through for two years? Feels like you should probably know that. Oh, sorry, was that a Deep Rhetorical Question?

I should also mention that Alfie is getting on my nerves big time, which is frankly impressive on Shinsay’s part since I’ll eat up any naïve and emotionless robot character, gears and all, yet somehow they’ve written him to be obnoxious in their attempt at making him charmingly socially inept. I think the fact that I’m supposed to be finding him cute or funny is what’s making me really dislike him. Observe:

“I find the name quite fitting, Breck,” Lira added. “Every beast deserves a strong name.”

“Allow me to assist,” Alfie added, walking over on silent feet. “Havoc is defined, in the Great Universal Dictionary, as ‘great destruction or devastation. Ruinous damage.’”

[...]

Valen inclined his head at Alfie. “My deepest apologies that you’re programmed to work for my father.”

Alfie’s unblinking eyes stared at Valen. “I am detecting strong levels of distaste toward...”

“That’ll be enough, Alfie,” Dex interjected. “Why don’t you go check on the ship repairs? Memory could probably use some company.” 

At the sound of Memory’s name, Alfie’s posture straightened. “I find my gears are warming at an alarming rate. Excuse me.”

Is this supposed to be cute? Endearing? What is the point of Alfie in this story? Why is he here? It feels like his entire reason for existing is to be the silly comic relief and the stereotypical weird AI with no concept of normal interactions. I’m also hardcore weirded out by how horny he is for Memory. It’s making me genuinely uncomfortable for reasons I can’t explain.

Why do we need another comic relief guy? Dex, Gilly and Breck, and now the fucking Havoc (the weird shitty pet thing) all serve that purpose already. WHY DOES ALFIE EXIST?!

Anyway, Alfie leaves and Dex suggests that they all have an “adult conversation” (lol) and the chapter ends on Andi finally greeting Valen and it’s very dramatic.

[mysticsparklewings]

The Dream Crosser

Surprise! NaPoWriMo didn't kill me (and I'm not abandoning dA because of the incoming Eclipse update either, more on that situation here), I just needed a week off to recuperate...and obsessively play Animal Crossing: New Horizons... Admittedly, I actually drew this well over a month ago (and wrote up the majority of the description!), not just before NaPoWriMo but before I actually had New Horizons in my grasp. The plan was to post it the day I got the game. Which was supposed to be much closer to the game's launch (March 20th). That ended up not happening and the day I got the game was the first day of NaPoWriMo, but 1. I messed up with the non-uniform prompts and spent all of the day trying to catch up so I couldn't even play the game yet, and 2. As a side effect, I ended up having two posts that day and a lot of work to do to catch up the second, and I hardly had time to think about posting this. And even if I had posted it, it would've been drowned in the incoming NaPoWriMo posts. And so, here we are. Really, really, I do have to mention that I truly feel for anyone else still waiting on the game for whatever reason. You have my deepest sympathy and I'm so sorry I can't just give you the game right now and make it better.  I know the wait was hard enough for me, being this is the one game I highly anticipated in over a year and I essentially had the rug yanked out from under me. But I'll save that story for after I talk about the art itself since I'm sure that's what most people are here for and not my pre-order frustrations. So in case you don't know or couldn't tell, this is the lovely Luna from AC: New Leaf's Dream Suite. From what we've seen of New Horizons since it's release, the Dream Suite's functions and purpose have been mostly absolved into the Airport and Dodo Codes, and so I'm very doubtful Luna will actually be in the game in any capacity, which makes me sad. A typical player (including me) wouldn't even necessarily interact with Luna that much in New Leaf unless you really enjoy visiting other towns using Dream Codes, so I'm not sure what it is, but for some reason I just really like her. That's why I picked her to draw to celebrate. I very nearly drew her a long time ago when I was on an Animal Crossing kick in 2018, but at the time I didn't like the idea of pressuring myself into drawing all and/or multiple AC characters just because I wanted to be "fair" to them all (much the same reason I don't draw Pokemon very often), so I ended up drawing One Little Spark, a crossover of the Disney character Figment drawn in the New Leaf style, instead. So in a way, she's had this coming for quite a while. At the time I started working on her, (way back in early March, because I was hoping beyond hope my pre-order would arrive to me actually on launch day, but ha ha ha look who's got egg on her face for that ) I was running a bit dry on artistic motivation, and so while I tried to draw her in my usual manner: Making a sketch, transferring the sketch onto different paper with finalized lines, then picking whichever coloring method I was most into at the time), I was struggling with the sketch. I've had days where I have to work on a sketch for a really long time before I can get something I'm happy with, but this day I was just so not into the whole sketching process. I wanted to create, but I wanted it to be quick and easy and simple. I didn't want to have to poke at it for hours and hours and then still maybe not be happy when I was done. So when I got discouraged enough, I broke away from trying to draw Luna and just drew mandalas instead. (As had become my art-block crutch for a little while.) Somewhere in me, as I worked on other things, I kept going back and forth on what to do about Luna, though. I did still want to draw her, but my usual formula just wasn't working for me. Not for her. I even tried briefly to draw her linelessly, digitally, as what was supposed to be a quick and simple experiment, but that went downhill even faster than sketching did. Although, for some reason, the lineless idea wouldn't leave me alone after that. Finally, I decided to try something completely different. I was going to try and free-handedly draw her, without lines, traditionally. With, primarily, alcohol markers. Honestly, the thought minorly horrifies me now just as much as it did before I started. And yet, here we are and I actually like how it turned out. Allow me to explain how this came together: So, since I wasn't sure how this was going to turn out once I decided to try it, I opted to use my not-so-great mixed media paper so I wouldn't feel guilty about wasting better paper if I ended up hating it. Naturally, this did lead to some notable limitations, but not enough to discourage me from trying. I dove right in with the dark brown for her head and body, focusing on getting the general shapes down. I'd noticed some glaring mistakes in my mostly unproductive sketching when it came to Luna's body proportions, so I tried to keep those things in mind and adjust accordingly as I went. It was scary because there is no erasing this way short of using white paint and because this paper feathers pretty noticeably with markers. Then once I got to a certain point, I had to switch and bring in some pink and off-white markers to draw in parts of her dress so I knew where to put her other arm and her legs. And here is where I technically cheated; I did use my "clear" Stardust Gelly Roll pen to do most of the outlines for her dress. I needed some kind of guideline, but pencil tends to get yucky when you put markers on top and at the time I couldn't really think of a better option. (The joke was kind of on me because somehow I still got a nasty gray line that looked like pencil under her bust that I had to gently edit out later in Photoshop, but I digress.) As I went with the markers, I was also doing some light shading. Not too much, because this paper is really fussy with layers and blending, but enough that I felt like it didn't look completely flat and I could tell where one shape ended and another started. Though, for her nose (trunk? I believe Luna is supposed to be a Tapir) and her raised arm, I had to get a little creative and I used a white brush pen meant for glass/ceramics to put in the lines so you could actually see them. And later I would use the same pen in 3-4 layers to add the white back in for her eyes. With the base for her body, dress, and the bun part of her hair done though, then I had the task of figuring out what to do for her shoes and the details of her face. (Without having to mix and use specific paint for those tiny details.) In the end, I opted to mostly use my classic red Gelly Roll pen for her shoes, and a little bit of a dark red alcohol marker for shading. And then I got to experiment with mixing the classic red and one of the Moonlight Gelly Rolls for her lips so that the color would be visible and not just a dark lip-shaped "what is this." This was because the classic Gelly Rolls don't show up super well on dark surfaces and the Moonlight ones do, but I didn't have the right color straight out of a Moonlight pen. It did take 2-3 careful layers, but I think I managed well enough in the end. I used just one black pen, a Prismacolor brush-tip fine liner, for her eyes, though in-person the white base underneath makes her pupils look about a shade or two lighter from certain angles, which was a very unintentional nice touch. My answer to everything else ended up being gouache, although I did try to come up with pen colors for her eye shadow and the blue dots on her cheeks before admitting defeat that I just didn't have the colors I needed. Originally, I had actually been thinking of trying a lineless art piece with gouache, as I think it would work particularly well for that look, but I wasn't ready to fully commit to the idea, mostly because I seem to be even worse at mixing a non-excessive amount of a specific color with gouache than I am with acrylics, and that sounds like a fantastic way to waste a bunch of palette space because I mixed too much but it's gouache so it can be re-wet and re-use it and I don't want to just throw it away...  (Although I suppose this could be half-way solved by getting a bigger palette specifically for mixing gouache, but I also don't want to have to buy yet another palette when I have some perfectly good ones...If I could just use up all the paint in them already...) Anyway. Point: This is kind of a step between a full lineless gouache piece and not doing one at all. Baby steps, yes? I knew from fairly early on that I was probably going to have to use gouache for the front part of her hair/bangs, since I did not thoroughly plan ahead enough and didn't leave a gap there to do it with markers. Fortunately, I didn't have to do much mixing since my gouache already has a nice yellow ochre color included, and I could use a bit of the other two browns and one I had some leftover mixed already from Roses in Your Eyes for shading. (White for the flowers, too, thank goodness.) And I actually ended up going over most of her bun with gouache too since, by comparison, the marker didn't look like it had much shading and it was bothering me. I did have to mix my own blue and pinky-purple for her makeup, and I ended up with a lot of leftover pinky-purple. But it's kind of okay because by itself it's such a pretty color I'm sure I'll find an excuse to use that one. After that, I just had to do some minor tweaks where the gouache had gotten a bit away from me and then I went ham on the shading for the dress based on my reference photo. Then I realized I wanted some kind of background because this seemed awfully boring without one. And, naturally, I hadn't really planned ahead for that, me being me and being in habit of doing the background last... At first, I wanted to do something hot pink, since her official Amiibo card has a hot pink background, but then I thought that might be a little too loud and I wasn't really sure the best way to apply one without potentially messing her up. And also, this isn't watercolor or paper thicker than 140 lb, which immediately threw watercolor out the window unless I wanted a very uneven paper when I was finished. I'd already pushed my luck with the gouache and been very careful about not using much water with it; I decided it was best not to push my luck any farther. Also, I couldn't use my pink PanPastel, despite that being maybe my best option, because it is still perpetually screwed onto the little Pan Pastel stack with no hope of getting unstuck anytime soon. (One of these days I swear, I will order either another set like the one I have or an individual Pink one to solve this problem, but until then, I am going to bring it up every single time as a caution to others to please be very careful when screwing and unscrewing your own Pan Pastels if you store them screwed together.) And I didn't feel like dragging out some of my drawing pastels and/or makeup that's too expired to use on my face and very slowly building up color and hoping it'll do what the Pan Pastels do. With no better ideas coming to me, I decided I'd leave the drawing for the night and come back to it the next day. After yet more brainstorming the next day, I finally settled on doing a glittery rounded rectangle and filling it with washi tape stripes. This plan did change a little as I figured out which tapes I wanted to use (a purple-y, champagne gold, and light pink ones, the latter two of which look more different in-person than they do on the scan) and as I actually started applying the lines. Partially because this tape is a bit thin and partially because I'm not used to cutting tape around very specific shapes, it took a very long time to both place strips of the tape and then get them cut to fit right up to Luna without looking strange. Once I got to a certain point going in one direction, I realized my next couple of cuts were just going to be too hard for me to stand. I had a choice: Ditch the tape, or figure something else out. Taking a risk, I decided to try and salvage it by doing an almost-plaid/checkerboard with the tape, specifically leaving out certain areas where I knew it would be too tricky to cut the tape. This also turned out to be a good way to use up some of the pieces of tape I'd already cut off that were too small to be used the other way. It's still not the greatest background solution I've ever come up with, but it does the job of making it look less empty, and that's really all I wanted anyway. And you know, compared to official images her proportions look wonky, but by herself (meaning, without comparing the two) I think Luna looks pretty good, actually. (Though, I admit I did have to tweak her right ear in Photoshop because it came out entirely too long and there wasn't really a good way for me to fix it by hand.) To think, this piece started out as such a mess. Or rather, I was such a mess when I started. And yet, here we are, and it looks kinda okay. Okay enough that I finished it and am posting it, at least.   I have no idea if I'll be returning to this style/method for art-making in the future, but even if I don't it was a nice experiment to try, and that's what art is really all about isn't it? Experimenting, trying new things? Speaking of experimenting though, about those pre-order frustrations I mentioned now that I've covered everything about the art itself...(in small text for those that don't care to easily skip over) Back in February I tried twice to pre-order New Horizons from Target, since they were running an ad where if you pre-ordered the game you'd also get an AC themed journal with it, and that combined with my family member's employee discount made it the cheapest/best value way for us to buy the game. As I said, I tried to order it twice. Both times, it was sold out. My family member had even tried to go to the store and have them order it before then, to no avail. After the second time, which was the day after Target sent out the sale paper with the new ad in it, while I was still frustratedly wondering how on earth do you sell out of a pre-order?? I kept refreshing the page every so often just to see if by some fluke it would miraculously not be sold out. I got very lucky around 3 in the afternoon and we managed to get the order in before it sold out again. Now, we're a relatively cheap family, so we didn't pay for the "express shipping" or whatever. Although, this was a $60 game and we were ordering it three whole weeks (on March 2nd) before release. If you ask me, the least they could do is have it shipped out either on launch day (March 20th) or the day after. Especially if I can pre-order a book on Amazon with three days' notice and they can still get it to me on release day. But, okay, I could live with waiting an extra day or up to maybe three if I had to. (And, to be fair, this was all before a certain virus exploded into chaos here in the US.) Much to my dismay, a week before NH release day, I checked the order status with Target only to be told I wouldn't get it until the 26th. A week later. That was pretty disappointing at the time, but it didn't really bother me until the day before and the day of launch when some people were getting their pre-orders early from places like Amazon and Best Buy (and some of them didn't even pay for the express shipping option from their selected source). If those two companies could plan around virus constraints to do that, why in the heck couldn't Target? But, okay, fine. Maybe the virus had something to do with it and they were really doing the best they could. Whatever. A week. Fine. I'll wait a week. A few days later though, we got an email saying: Surprise! Don't expect your dumb video game until April 3rd because we couldn't get our act together! (Okay, that's not what it really said, but that's what it felt like.) And I know, I promise I so know there are much more serious issues going on in the world right now and a video game about talking animals isn't exactly a priority shipment. I know. But it was still massively upsetting after I'd already waited so long. And, honestly, I feel like they had plenty of time and notice to take care of the game before everything else exploded and messed it all up. Again, especially if other companies already had time to even ship orders early and/or get the games to people on launch day. Or the day after. TWO WEEKS after launch, and you don't tell me about the secondary delay until the week I started expecting the game to already be in the mail on it's way to me? The only tiny silver lining is that as I was checking the order to make sure it didn't miraculously get pushed back to sometime in 2021 (because I really had no faith in Target's time estimates at this point) is that it did get bumped back up to April 1st. Although, I did think that it would be the absolute least funny April Fools' Day Joke ever if the day came and it was late because screw me.  But it did arrive to me on April 1st as promised; I just had a million other things to do before I could play it. ) And I will say, I know I could've just canceled the pre-order and bought the game digitally, but it was enough of a hassle to order it in the first place, and if I did that I'd also lose my pre-order bonus. And all that aside, I specifically wanted a physical copy to begin with. I always prefer that when it's possible. So people on the internet that want to eat me alive for not canceling when the shipping got screwed up, there are my reasons. Take 'em or leave 'em. (Seriously, I've seen some people be really rude about this just because they didn't like hearing people upset that they didn't have the game yet...when they already had it themselves or didn't care about AC in the first place...) Moral of the story: Don't pre-order from Target. Or, at least, don't expect the item to actually get to you right around release day. Account for at least two additional weeks of not having the thing. ...Seriously though, how do you sell out of a pre-order?? At least, when it's a highly anticipated game and you're a big company and not some small indie company with limited resources! Sheesh! Anyway. I have the game now, I've been playing it as much as possible and enjoying it. I still have a ways to go before my island is "complete" per se, but it's coming along nicely and I feel more comfortable now taking some more time away from it to get back into the swing of making art and things like that. So hopefully I'll be getting back into a regular posting schedule and you'll have that to look forward to. 

____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 11

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9 ; Chapter 10

Masterlist : here

AN : It is wednesday, my dudes! This part and the next ones are like 90% fluff, 10% angst... like bittersweet. You’re still heartbroken but try to keep your friendship with Jake, while doing all of your homework... A lot to handle. Actually I had to cut the chapter in half because it was too long (9-10 pages). I really hope you’ll like this chapter because I liked writing it! Feel free to tell me what you thought of it, send me dms or questions, and thanks for reading me x

Chapitre 11 : Would you cook for me ?

Ignoring Jake's texts or avoiding him was useless. But hanging out with him was a challenge I wasn't ready to handle, never asked for, and yet was pushed into. Pretending I didn't see him when we crossed paths in the hallways, or that I didn't receive any of his texts was petty, there was no point in doing so. I couldn't avoid him without giving him any reason, and I couldn't tell him why I needed some time far away from him either because it meant revealing the truth and 1) I wasn't ready, 2) he'd be the one avoiding me like the black plague if I did. It brought me to the conclusion that I would simply pretend nothing happened at all. Jake hadn't noticed the whole situation anyway, so to him it'd already be like everything was normal, just like it always had been between us. It was the best I could think of. For him, for Josh, for anyone. For me ? Not so much. Of course I was still heartbroken, of course it'd take me some time to get over him, and staying by his side would be like rubbing salt on a wound while demanding for it to heal. But I wouldn't risk to break our group's dynamic for selfish reasons. So I sucked that in, everything. The sadness, and painful pang of my chest every time I saw his face, while repeating myself it was for the best.

That aside, I had some other things coming. For the worst. My useless self got so into self-pity and deprecation that I had totally forgotten about homework... And my drawing teacher would be less than pleased as we were all supposed to hand her five new portraits on Monday. Realization hit me during breakfast with Josh who had slept here, when I saw Mandy pack her things and idly noticing out loud that I wasn't carrying a lot of stuff for once. This. This was the cue. But it was too late now, I thought as I walked down the halls by their side. On our way to the amphitheater we saw Jake, waiting in front of the door for the teacher to come. Other students were here too, chatting and yawning with their backs against the walls or sitting on the floor. Josh looked at me like he wasn't sure if he should greet him but the brunette was the one spotting us, gesturing us to come join him. My eyes were probably still a bit puffy but with the makeup it could pass for lack of sleep. Of course he knew Josh stayed at our place last time, I had made sure the boy texted him, and the jerk had taken this opportunity to ask his brother to bring him all his school supplies, backpack included. Unbelievable.

- Your stuff, said Jake handing Josh his bag.

- Who's the big brother again ?, I jokingly asked with a raised eyebrow.

- He's 5 minutes older, replied Jake.

- You'll never live it down !

We all chatted quietly, and I never felt more conflicted in my entire life. My heart didn't know if it should beat faster or hurt like hell, so it seemed to do both, making me feel weird just by being next to Jake. My body was in total contradiction with itself. I couldn't hold back the smile that crept across my face, but at the same time wouldn't meet Jake in the eye, disguising it by cracking joke after joke while my stress level kept rising the more time passed. My thoughts were running wild. In a few hours the drawing teacher was going to yell at me in front of the whole workshop and I couldn't handle it. I'd surely burst into tears and feel even more ashamed. I'd probably-

- Hey, you alright ?

A soft touch caressed my back and I involuntarily jerked forward, out of its grasp, before realizing and suddenly feeling bashful at my reaction. I could tell Jake was surprised by it but it lasted only a second before his face showed concern.

- Yeah, I just didn't finish my work on time... That witch is gonna murder me and ask the others students to draw a perspective of my corpse I'm sure.

I heard his chuckles before the tutor cut him off, passing by us with the keys in hand to unlock the door, separating the sea of students in half like an artsy Moses. Jake was at the other side when the crowd engulfed through the small door, letting us no choice but to keep our bodies to the walls.

- Do you wanna sit together today ?, asked Jake above the loud stomping noises.

Because of the students between us I couldn't really see his face, but was glad because it meant he couldn't see mine whitening. Josh and Mandy on the other hand were just next to me and clearly witnessed my expression change. To think that a week before I would've been on cloud nine being able to sit next to him for two whole hours... Oh how things could change fast.

We were now the three last people left outside and Jake held the door for us, continuing speaking.

- You guys are always exchanging notes, we should just, ya know ? Sit next to each other and... quietly chat.

As backup to his words, he murmured the last part in a very exaggerated fashion, in a failed attempt to make me smile. I couldn't just say no to him without looking weird because I had no reason to. Even if I knew he wouldn't push the matter, there was no way he wouldn't question it, right ? Josh came to the rescue, playfully elbowing him.

- But then where's the fun in that ? Right girls ?

Both agreeing, we rushed to our usual seats, letting a dumbfounded Jake close the door behind him. In their habitual fashion, Mandy and Josh threw paper balls at each other, while I was for once too focused on the lecture to participate in their shenanigans. I needed to get my mind to focus on something and right now Gilgamesh sounded like a good deal, so I took as many notes as possible. A task proven even more difficult because in the corner of my eye, I could see Jake staring at me.

Saying my drawing teacher killed me was a little bit of an understatement. She scared the shit out of me with her scolding. To be fair, even in a normal mood she was a scary woman. The already quiet   class went completely still and silent when she barked at me, admonishing me with charming names such as « useless », « disappointing » and the timeless « lamentable ». A classic. Truth to be told it hurt much less than I previously anticipated, mainly because I was already half dead inside, with the emotional range of a cactus, and my self-esteem nearly reaching zero. Nothing much to attack, really. Nevertheless, she demanded that I hand her all five portraits plus the five others we had to do this week by the next monday. Meaning I had ten to do in a week. It physically hurt just thinking about it, and I could hear a quiet « oof » escaping some of my classmates' mouths. It's with a huge relieved sigh that I found my bed this afternoon once school was over. This day had been a catastrophe so far, so there was no other thing I wanted to do more than put on my Pjs, put some music on, and slowly work at my desk, thinking Tuesay will be a better day.

Tuesday was not a better day. Wednesday either. All my homework slowly started piling up on my desk to the point where it was starting to be difficult to keep track of it. And sleeping four hours a night wasn't doing my mental health any good. I knew I had two possibilities now ; sleep less but do my work, or skip some classes to work. It was beginning to get ridiculous, skipping classes so I could do my homework. I knew art schools were difficult, awfully so, but like most people I hadn't realized until then, in this very moment, standing in front of my desk completely covered in paint, canvas, my computer, sketches, inks... some brushes had fallen on the floor, staining it in their passage. My laptop was so dirty it wasn't in its original color anymore. There were blotches of paint, ink, and charcoal here and there that I couldn't remove the harder I had tried to, forcing me to give up. At some point I got so tired I put my paintbrush into my cup of tea/coffee, mistaking it with the goblet of water.

- ...Are you alright ?, enquired Mandy on Thursday night.

One look at my face and she had her answer. Bless her soul, she didn't need any more to bring me an energy drink from the fridge.

- I still have five portraits to do. Four pencil ones, and one painting. They all have to be from different angles, and I can't find any models, I complained while throwing my hand in the air in an act of pure desperation.

Mandy knew better than to sit at the edge of my risky desk with her designer clothes, so she leaned on the doorframe, slowly nodding her head in a pensive manner while I kept explaining the situation.

- All week I couldn't find anyone because they all had homework to do, and now most of them are skipping tomorrow's lecture to go home early so nobody's available !

My rommate crossed her arms, thinking hard. I already did almost all my paintings, asking for both her and Josh's help. Both of them were glad to help and even more so to figure on a monochrome painting on a canvas.

- Can you draw the same person multiple times ?, she finally asked.

- Actually... I don't know. I don't think that would be a problem as long as the work is done ?

Hopping on her feet, Mandy lifted an eyebrow before dragging a chair to sit on.

- Let's get into it then, we only have one lecture tomorrow, you can skip it I'll take notes for you.

Having a good night of sleep never felt this good. No. Waking up at 8, slowly realizing everybody was sitting on a lecture except me, and then getting back to sleep was way better. I sketched poor Mandy two times last night but the results were good, and she looked pleased herself. I didn't have time to redo any of these anyway, I still had other work to do. Waking me from my well deserved nap, my phone vibrated under the pillow, the screen blinding me despite the sun peaking through the curtains.

« The boys asked where you were. Told them about the portraits situation. Jake wants to help. Couldn't stop him. »

If the beginning of the text made me smile, the end completely shook me awake, making me sit hurriedly on the bed, rereading the words multiple times. Scratching my face, I quickly glanced at the hour. They were out in a few minutes. My fingers tapped the next message as soon as they could, asking her how and when, while I ran to the showers with my towel, soap and toothbrush in hand. At this hour, and a Friday, they were all available. The other residents were all either drunk as hell and passed out in their room, or in their hometown with their family and friends. The buzzing of my phone vibrating reverberated against the shower walls and it almost got drowned in the sink when I caught it to look at the screen. It was Mandy.

« They kinda invited themselves over to eat. Josh's idea.»

What the hell Joshua we're not your moms ! Throwing my phone to the nearest flat surface, I jumped on some discarded overalls and put on a sweater, wet hair dripping everywhere on the floor, table, but mostly on my clothes, making me sneeze in the process. The whole week I was so overwhelmingly busy with work that not only did my fingers hurt but I didn't have any time to see the Kiszkas let alone think about them since our shared lecture on Monday. I even skipped the Lunch Club in order to get back to the dorms and work on my assignments. Which thankfully saved me a lot of time, but I still had 2 pencil drawings to do and one painting. Once I had put on some makeup, I took a moment to look around me. Our place looked like a dump, no less. Clothes and art furniture were everywhere, the trash was overflowing with empty cup noodles and fast food leftovers, it smelled like perfume and soap mixing with rotten food, paint and cold tobacco. It was terrible, and made me shocked that I even got used to that. A life achievement of some sort. Everything on the floor I put it on a trash bag, running in the stairs to throw everything outside with the others'. My phone vibrated in my pocket, a new notification popping on the screen.

« They bought some stuff at the store, they wanna cook us something. Jake's idea. »

Okay, time to clean the kitchen.

By the time they got here, I looked even more tired than before, owing my guests looks of concern. If was funny, how they put on the exact same face while seeing me. It was like I just mirrored a picture. Their similar features would never cease to amaze me.

- Mama you're very pale.

- Did you not sleep well ?

- I did, don't worry, I dismissed their concern. Had to clean up a bit.

Mandy bit his lip, knowing damn well the place had been a war field when she left. Unaware of anything, the boys put the bags of groceries on the table before apologizing for intruding. We all sat around the table to have a pleasant talk, my friends always making sure I wasn't next to Jake to avoid any brutal peak of awkwardness / sadness. But some habits died hard, I realized when Jake asked if he could have a tour of our dorm. Ignoring glances, I stood up and gestured for him to go first, into the biggest room, were Mandy and I's workshop and beds were. The boy let out a low whistle that flattered me. He looked impressed by everything around him, touching odd looking brushes and browsing illustration books. I knew better this time, and had put his painted portrait under my bed, wrapped in an old sheet. Just as his brother did, he liked to take in his hands everything that came by, caressing it with his fingertips or idly lifting the weight of it in his palms like he was discovering an unknown world. Unmoving, I let Jake do his little tour, watching the street view by the window, sitting on my disheleved bed, jumping slightly to make the mattress bounce like he was testing it before buying.

- So this is where you're gonna paint me, he said, pointing at a chair between my desk and me.

My pale face grew some colors at the thought of it before I nodded quickly, in a childlike way, caressing the wooden chair's back.

- I'll try to be fast so you won't get bored, I assured without looking him in the eye.

It was this moment Josh chose to appear at the corner of the doorframe.

- Jakey we should start cooking or the potatoes will never be ready on time. Come on, doll.

He took me by one of my overalls' straps, pulling me inside the kitchen, making me laugh and pushing my shoulders so I stayed on my seat. Mandy and I gazed at them with awe as they poured us drinks while Jake asked where the spatula was, and Josh was washing the vegetables, already familiar with his surroundings.

In silence, I looked at Jake removing every one of his rings to put it on top of the fridge where no one could kick them, before tying his hair in a tight ponytail. Maybe it was because I only ever saw him with long brown locks framing his face, but he looked even better than usual. If he caught me staring, he didn't adress it, only smiled at me, turning his back to us to help his brother.

- Do you need any help ?, I asked while showing them where the frypans were. You guys are our guests it doesn't seem fair...

Of course the kitchen wasn't a real one, there was only a microwave and some hotplates fixed to a cabinet by the sink. Putting more than one person behind the counter was impossible without bumping into each other, and I could smell the accident from afar when Josh maneuvered the hot water filled pan at the same time Jake opened up a cupboard right above his curly head. Curiously so, probably because they had way more cooking experience than I thought, the boys handled the situation neatly, and Jake was the one preventing me from bumping into his brother.

- Go sit and relax, we've got this, he said while turning me around by the shoulders.

Watching boys make lunch had got to be some sort of ASMR because just watching the muscles of their back move while they were chopping onions and peeling potatoes had some real therapeutic effects on me. We continued chatting together, all the while answering their questions on « Where are the knives ? » and « Where do you keep the salt ? ». Kind of surprised that Josh had the permission of holding a kitchen knife, by the way, this part made me feel the absolute opposite of ASMR but he did a pretty good job, from what I could see. Mandy put on some music on the speakers, argued with Jake over the sound of it as to what was acceptable or not music-wise, and Josh made a show of crying because of the onions, yelling about becoming blind until Jake gently slapped the back of his head. It was all laughs and good conversation, like we've been friends for years, and at the same time I couldn't shake these feelings I had towards Jake. There was something extremely erotic about seeing a dude wearing a dishcloth on his shoulder. Or was it just Jake wearing it really well ?

They refused to tell us what we were eating, muttering to themselves and sometimes asking if we were allergic to this or that, only announcing it while putting the plate on the table, with Josh making grand gestures as usual, using his best waiter voice.

- Crêpes au zucchini accompanied by a fresh salad decorated with feta and its apple slices, ladies.

- Bon appétit, added Jake.

The table was already set because it was the only thing we were allowed to do, so at least the boys could now rest. It looked really good. Way less fancy than what Josh had announced of course but it smelled wonderful, the sweet scent settling in all of our dorm. And the taste, oh Lord. Everything melted in my mouth, the onions they fried were just crispy enough to add something to it, and I learned this day that cheese and apple were really good and refreshing together. A new snack idea I'd keep for my sleepless work nights at the desk. And as dessert, the boys brought beers. Of course.

[blondecarfucker]

Ocean Eyes (Roger Taylor)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: You're new in town and a blue-eyed boy caught your attention. You grow up to be best friends, but the possibility of being more is always haunting the two of you. Reader is also an art student who draws Roger constantly.

Fic Note: So I wrote this for @yourealegendfred's 3k words song inspired challenge. I have been trying to write this for a while now, but the story was missing a middle part, and that's where @pigfish27 comes in with a beautiful request that was already very similar to my idea for the fic (with the reader being very artistic and such), and honestly, don't know how I'd write this without her idea, so thank you!! Thank you too for the challenge and song inspo, yourealegendfred. I chose this song because 1) I like Billie Eilish 2) Roger's eyes are very hypnotic. If it's your first time here, hi! I adore Roger Taylor and I write a lot about him, including a long ass, 17 parts at the moment, fanfic, so my masterlist is in my bio! Can't link it here or else Tumblr will avoid showing the post on the tags.

Words: Nearly 4000

Warnings: a bit of angst in the beggining, SMUT, unprotected sex (it's not the 70s anymore kids, you know you should wrap it before you tap it), recreational use of drugs (that's up to you, but like, we all know it's the right thing to say "kid's, don't do it", so i'm saying it now). that are probably some minor errors cause im super sleepy

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

I've been watching you

For some time

You remember the first time you saw Roger. You just moved to a new city, your 15th city in your 14 years, and you just got to school. Your mom promised you'd stop moving, but you didn't really believe her. You had no reason to.

So you got there, your school uniform ill fitting, and as you said goodbye to your mom in the car, you saw him. His hair was longer than the rest of the boys, his uniform shirt was creased, the first buttons open, his tie undone.

You watched him step on a cigarette butt on the ground as he held another one between his fingers. You couldn't believe how blue his eyes were behind all the smoke around his face.

Not only in color. He was joking with his friends, and you could hear them laughing, but he looked sad, his eyes unable to hide how blue he really was.

You recognized those eyes. Eyes like that looked right back at you every time you looked in the mirror.

He looked back into your eyes, too.

Can't stop staring

At those oceans eyes

But you only spoke for the first time in detention. You didn't knew why was he there; you got caught sleeping in bio again. You were drawing, trying to make time go by faster, when a hand pressed against your table. It was big in comparison to yours, and you noticed how callous it looked. You looked up and was met with his eyes.

"Could you borrow me a pencil?", he said, a smirk on his lips.

"Sure", you told him, and gave him one.

"What are you doing?", he said, as he sat back into his chair, scribbling something in a piece of paper in front of him.

"I'm drawing", you said. You only realised you sketched his hand a few minutes later. You looked at him, watching as he wrote something in the piece of paper. The word "drowse" covered the paper.

"Are you really drawing? Or are you watching me?", he said, aggressive after realizing you read what he wrote, moving the paper away from you. His eyes stared into yours. Angry.

"I can do both. I'm drawing you", you snapped back, and he looked surprised that you weren't intimidated by him. He smirked. "Do you want me to pose?", he asked. "Just look at me", you told him, sketching his eyes.

Burning cities

And napalm skies

Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

Your ocean eyes

You drew him a lot. He used to call himself your muse. You drew him drumming, his eyes narrowed at the effort. You drew him when he had his arms wrapped around some girl at a party.

You grew closer together, bonding over how you disliked that town. You couldn't believe this was the city that your mom settled on. Roger and you would complain about that as you shared a blunt on the side of the river behind your school, the sound of the running water muffling your complaints.

He liked how you never seemed uncomfortable around him, even when he was being cocky, and you liked how honest he was around you, never treating you like one of the girls he flirted with, just treating you as an equal to him.

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

It wasn't until when you both moved to London for school that it happened for the first time. You both shared a flat, and you were sitting on the couch, drinking and smoking while listening to My Sweet Lord on repeat, and he was complaining, as usual. About the band he was in, about his classes, about the girls he was seeing.

You turned to him and said "God, Taylor. I don't think I can think of anyone else that complains as much as you do", and he scoffed. "Well, there's you. I can think of something else we could do", and you stared into his eyes, even more blue because of the redness around his pupils. And you knew what he was suggesting. You flirted sometimes, though you never really payed attention to it. But now, with the smoke clouding your brain, and his eyes staring deep into yours, you thought that he could do whatever he wanted with you.

And he did.

He moved his hand to your thigh, pulling you closer to him on the couch, as you kept looking into his eyes. He didn't break the contact, almost as if he was checking how far he could go before you stopped him.

But you never did.

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Falling into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

You were still friends with him, but you noticed a change in your relationship. Every time he'd come home with a girl after a gig, you felt an ache on your chest. You were used to that, emotional pain, but never before from him. You didn't realize how much influence he had over you. How much you could care about him.

And it was made worse by the fact that every few weeks, you would both fuck again - quick, messy, rough; you barely looked at each other. But you never really talked about it, not even joked about it to each other. "Don't overthink this", you told yourself in the mirror after a night with him, throwing water in your face, the bruises he made on your neck and cleavage staring back at you.

And even when those marks disappeared, you could still feel his touch on your skin. You forced yourself to go out with other people, but it was always him that ended up invading your mind.

He got further under your skin than anyone else; he wasn't just a good lay. He made you feel vulnerable, exposed, but also noticed. He saw everything that was wrong with you and was still there.

Cause the thing is, you knew his worst, too. His cheating on other girls - even with you, or when he'd call three girls in the same night just because he wasn't sure who would really come, and the three girls did, and he would then entertain two of them as the third waited on your living room, not in the mood for something groupal. The girls who waited on him to finish were usually pretty nice with you, since they visibly didn't care for sharing - one of them actually helped you pick an outfit to go out to a pub, one day.

And you were also used to his aggressive, drunk self that usually came before he started to vomit, and you'd always help him - holding his sweaty strands back, convincing him to take a cold shower, going out to the deli and getting him chips and a coke so he had something to eat before passing out. He'd done the same for you multiple times.

Or the first time you did molly together on a music festival - Roger bit his lips until they blead, and you kept dancing even after the sun went up again, burning your shoulders under the sun. The two of you took care of each other afterwards, and swore off molly.

You felt like a married couple, sometimes; only the two of you living in the same flat for nearly a year, occasionally fucking, knowing each other inside out. This thought only made it hurt more when you saw him with a girl that wasn't you.

And now, every time you fucked, you had to force yourself off the bed so you wouldn't sleep on his arms, no matter how much you wanted.

No fair

You really know how to make me cry

When you gimme those ocean eyes

I'm scared

I've never fallen from quite this high

Falling into your ocean eyes

Those ocean eyes

And then he brought a friend home one night - a guy that joined the band after the other guy, Tim, left. You know Brian, you even hang out with Brian when you go to Roger's shows and rehearsals, but you never really clicked.

Now this guy, Freddie, was almost a male version of you: very artistic, always scribbling something. Eventually, when Roger and you decided to move to a bigger flat, you invited Freddie to split the rent and live on the other room the flat had.

You felt close to Freddie, and you always helped each other out when drawing, borrowing pencils and brushes whenever necessary, and Roger just watched - he couldn't really participate in this new dynamic.

You even nearly stopped the casual fucking - the incidents, for the lack of a better word, would happen less often. It was almost like he felt Freddie was replacing him in every aspect of your life, but he wasn't - you and Freddie didn't see each other that way. But to admit it to Roger would be to admit you felt different with him, and you didn't want him to feel sorry for you as he rejected you.

Once you noticed that he feels replaced, though, you started to involve Roger in your drawings again - asking him to pose for you, drawing his car.

And that was good for you too, because you couldn't take him off your mind, now that you're getting less of him. He even started to show up in your school work, you knowing his face features so well that you drew him on everything.

One of your works was to remake pictures and cover art from pop culture with your own trace - and there was Roger's face in the same pose and with the same dim lights as Marlene Dietrich (one of Freddie's favourite pictures to the point where he has it framed in your living room), and there's Roger's face and body in the remake of the cover of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and there's Roger in the cover art for Aladdin Sane.

You didn't want to look creepy - and you know how creepy it was that you kept drawing your friend in each and every drawing and painting you did.

But you're used to drawing him - you started it when you were both 14. You knew the exact curve of his lips, the bridge of his nose, the format of his eyes.

I've been walking through

A world gone blind

Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind

And now you had to do oil paintings of the human physique - a nightmare for you, completely unaccustomed to oil paint. So you painted the body you knew best, and the one that you craved the most. It's been two months since the last time you had sex with Roger.

And one day, Roger came home and saw a painting on one of your easels in the living room - not an odd sight. But the painting itself caught his attention - a very detailed, realistic naked man. Once he got closer, he noticed how the man's skin tone was close to his, how he had the same haircut... the same face as Roger.

The realization hit him - you drew him naked.

He blushed.

Cause he always called himself your muse, but this was intimate - this was the way he'd lay in bed after you had sex. A part of your friendship that you never discussed.

He always thought of you as someone who's too cool for him - you never once looked intimidated by his jokes, flirting, whatever. You didn't really care. He thought you didn't give a fuck about the two of you - especially now that you had Freddie.

He tried to get mad at one of you two - but Freddie was too nice and a good frontman, so he couldn't fight him, and he could never get mad at you. All you had to do was say "Rog", in your husky voice and he'd be on his knees.

That was so unlike him. He was embarrassed, so he tried to play it cool. Pretend he wasn't hurt at the fact that you were probably fucking Freddie on his back.

But this drawing of him in a very vulnerable, intimate moment made him change his mind. Maybe you did care for him. Maybe those moments mattered to you almost as much as they mattered to him.

So he walked to your room, and knocked lightly on the door, getting in before you said "Come in". Because you never said it; you were listening to Purple Haze at maximum volume, only wearing a baggy white shirt with paint everywhere. He could see your black panties peeking from under it as you swayed your hips to the rhythm of the music.

He then looked to what you were drawing - he recognized his hair and body again. You were painting him nude, yet again. A devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

"Hey, Y/N", he screamed, and you jumped out of surprise, your eyes wide as you turned to face him. "Roger, what the fuck are you doing here?", you asked, trying to normalize your breathing.

"Oh, just checking out your paintings. It's a pretty hot guy you have as a model… I wonder who he is", he told you, ironic, walking closer to the painting.

You blushed for a moment, like a child getting caught. But you soon went back to your devil-may-care attitude - the one he was more familiar with. "Just painted the body I'm more familiar with", you shrugged, turning back to your painting so you didn't have to see his reaction. It's the first time one of you references the sex.

"It's fine. I'm honoured, really", he said, moving behind the easel so he could see your face as you worked. "My pleasure", you told him, dry. "I came here to offer my help, really", he told you, unbuttoning his shirt. "Thought you could use the real life model to make work easier", he grinned, and you looked at him. His voice sounded relaxed as usual, but his face looked tense. He was scared that you'd turn him down.

He looked so vulnerable, yet so beautiful - your bedroom had the best lighting in the house, and the sun on his skin made him look like Apollo himself, luminous.

"Sure. That'll definitely make the work flow faster", you shrugged again, but you felt a genuine smile forming as you saw him relax and start undressing.

Careful creature

Made friends with time

He left her lonely with a diamond mind

And those ocean eyes

And you painted him many times, for this project, for the ones that came after it, for your personal projects. It really made you bond again - but you didn't have sex anymore, which was confusing, cause you were seeing him naked more than ever, as he posed nude whenever you asked.

You were conscious that you were going out with even less guys, and that Roger was seeing less girls. Freddie was aware of your newfound chemistry, and always made jokes about how it felt to live third wheeling. You laughed, and Roger too, but you didn't knew what to do about it.

Then, one Sunday, Roger appeared in your doorframe, half dressed, a backpack open on his hands. "Do you wanna spend the day at the beach?", he asked, and you looked confused. "Roger, it's already autumn", you told him, and went back to scribbling. You were drawing his hands - now that he was wearing rings, they posed a new challenge to you.

"And what about it? It's better, actually. No one will be there to annoy us. You could paint me… C'mon, Y/N", he said, and you considered. It would be quite an impressive painting - the blue in his eyes and the blue of the ocean, the sand, his hair and skin mixing, too.

"Ok, Rog", you said, and started to pack your materials. "See you in my car in five minutes, then", he told you, and went back to dressing and packing at the same time.

The car ride there was a bit weird - you couldn't find a subject to talk to him, overthinking every idea he had. He wasn't starting any conversations, either.

Then once you got to the beach, you unpacked your materials, and he stood in front of you. "What should I do?", he asked, a bit insecure, and you let out a sigh. You didn't want to spend the afternoon in this uncomfortable feeling around him.

So you got up and said "Join me", as you started undressing, and wearing only your underwear, you jumped inside the cold water.

You screamed when the freezing sea touched your skin, and you soon heard Roger scream, too. "Y/N, why the fuck did you get me inside the water? It's freezing!", he screamed, and you laughed. "Thought you could handle some cold water, Taylor. But apparently I'm wrong", you told him, and splashed water on his face. "Oh, so you want war?" he asked, and started to tickle you.

You spent some time in the ocean, your bodies getting used to the temperature, joking and swimming. Once the sun got closer to the horizon, bathing everything in a golden light, you told Roger it was time to paint. You got off the water, and he followed you, watching your body as your underwear clinged to your wet skin.

But when you got to wear the beach towel was covering the sand - the perfect place for you to paint him - you were shaking, the cold wind taking away your body heat. "Hey, just a second", Roger told you before handing you a towel. After you dried yourself, he offered you one of his fur coats that was in his bag. You accepted it, the fur immediately conserving your body temperature, and you started to relax. Roger got another fur coat for himself, and also a bottle of tequila and a blunt from the bag.

"Cheers", he said, after drinking straight from the bottle and passing it to you. You drank, too, as he started to light up the blunt.

"How should I pose?", he asked, passing you the blunt.

"Just stay the way you are. It's perfect", you told him, and you started mixing the tones.

The painting was almost ready and the sun was setting as you got to Roger's eyes. He stopped posing for a moment so he could start a fire to warm the both of you.

"Thanks", you said, and he shrugged. "A way to apologize for barely passing you the blunt", he said, and you laughed. "It's okay, I barely passed you the tequila", you shrugged, too.

As you went back to painting, you were frustrated at his eyes. You just couldn't get their color right. He noticed you were stressed.

"Did I do anything wrong?", he asked, and you laughed. "No, Rog. I just can't get your eye colour right", you told him. "Why is that?" he asked again, and you shrugged again. "Don't know. They're usually pretty hard to get right, but I can do it most of the times", you said.

Maybe it was the reflex of the fire in his eyes. "I'll get a closer look at them, okay?", you asked, putting your work to the side and leaning into him, your weight on your hands and knees.

Roger looked at your body, warmly lit by the fire by your side, your black lingerie in contrast with the caramel fur. He knew how soft your skin was, and he craved feeling in on the tip of his fingers.

So he moved one of his hands so he could cup your jaw, and he saw as your breathing hitched. He hasn't touched you like this in months.

You moved one of your own hands to cup his face, and he felt the friction of the sand on your skin against him as you pulled him closer to a kiss.

None of you closed your eyes during the slow kiss.

You pushed him onto his back, and pressed his body against the sand with your own. You grinded against him as you kissed him again, and he closed his eyes as he groaned in response.

But you didn't want to hurry it - this was the first time you were fucking in months, yeah, but also the first time in felt so intimate - you were actually looking at each other during some of the kiss, and he caressed your waist under the coat, your thighs, with caring - he was not being rough for the first time. You could feel his bulge against your core, and you kept moving against it as you kissed him.

Until he had enough and started pulling your panties down, his index finger brushing against your skin under the elastic band.

You started pushing his underwear down, too, and his cock was already hard. You got on your knees, straddling him, so he could sit and take his boxers off. You then moved your bare core against the tip of his member. You both moaned.

"Just fuck me", he mumbled under his breath, his perfect lips parted. You leaned into him so you could kiss him as you pushed your body down his cock until he bottomed out inside of you.

You stayed there for a few moments, kissing him slowly, before you started riding him.

It was slow at first, and he kept his eyes on you, the electric blue driving you mad - everything around you seemed to pale in comparison. You only broke eye contact once one of you closed your eyes to moan or curse.

It was a different feeling - you could still feel the fabric of your bra against your breast as you kept riding him, moving faster and trying to keep a rhythm. You unclasped your bra, and Roger helped you off your coat and bra, and started kissing your breasts, but you could see he was having a hard time focusing on them, as you kept riding him. He was close.

But you needed to see more of him so you could come. "I need to see you", you told him, and he nodded, looking at you through his lashes and giving you a weak smirk as he took the coat off.

The cold wind was hard on your skin, but the temperature shock made you more turned on. Roger was even closer, and started to press sloppy kisses to your neck as leaned his head against your shoulder. You felt your legs burning of the effort of riding him, but you were now getting close, too, as you felt his skin against your hard nipples.

He moved his hand from your waist to your sensitive clit, and massaged it. You nearly screamed - the extra stimulation was what you needed to reach your climax, and he moved his hands to your hips to help you ride him through your high.

You felt tired and sleepy, but you kept riding him with his help, your head on his neck now, and he could feel your heavy breathing against his skin, and soon you could see the veins on his neck pop and his jaw clench as he reached his climax.

None of you moved for a few moments, until Roger felt you shiver in his arms, breaking up his embrace to get your coat.

You got off of him so he could get his own coat, but you didn't got up - you pushed him down again, covering your bodies with the coat as if it was a duvet. He chuckled as you put your head in his chest, and you look up only to see him facing you.

At that moment, the electric blue of his gaze made every other shade of blue around you even more intense - the sea and the sky. All because of his ocean eyes.

[goawaysugardrop-blog]

SUGARDROP50 CALLOUT POST

CONTRIBUTORS: Darth | Shining | RainbowB | Carl DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GO WITCHHUNT THE USER MENTIONED IN THIS CALLOUT. WHILE WE DO FIND HIS ACTIONS UNCALLED FOR, THREATENING PEOPLE’S LIVES IS EVEN MORE HARMFUL.

Youtube/Twitter user Sugardrop50, or otherwise known as bart-enderman on Tumblr, is a known Miitopia artist. However, behind closed doors, the user is also known for having to have been abusive towards Shining, their former datefriend, going as far as doxxing them and making them feel unsafe in the Miitopia community altogether, making them go as far as leaving the Amino they once lived to avoid him. He is also known to have allegedly reblogged NSFW of incest, and drew art of his Ex-Dark Lord that’s a child, via child pornography. This callout post will consist of the many witnesses who have been aware of his behavior, and you’ll be hearing from the victim themselves.

-       EVIDENCE #1: NSFW BLOG

The user had previously owned a NSFW blog dedicated to posting inappropriate art that contained incestual and pedophilic themes. The previous blog name, which went by sugardrop-nsfw, was known to have multiple instances of art pieces that promoted said themes, and had drawn a sketch their Miitopia OC being raped by Terror Fiends (bestiality) in two pictures, both as the Dark Lord and as the Ex-Dark Lord. The blog lasted for about a week until deletion, possibly due to fearing they would be spotted of their fetishization of children. Evidence is currently lost, but please notify us if you have any photos of the NSFW art.

-       EVIDENCE #2: DOXXING

Sugardrop50, prior to the breakup with Shining, immediately went berserk and went as far as sending someone to dox them of their address. Minutes after the breakup, the victim would receive an anonymous message that would as them if they “live on Bell Street.” Fortunately, the victim informed their father of the doxxing. Sugardrop would be dismissive of the threat as well and taunt Shining.

-       EVIDENCE #3: MISINFORMATION

The man has made a callout post in regards to Shining on Tumblr, mainly regarding the suicidal or depressed feelings they had during their relationship. However, despite the evidence he had placed on said callout post, most of it was misinformed, and most of the evidence is Sugardrop, himself, being very self-centered, mainly showing how much of a controlling person he was.

-       EVIDENCE #4: TOXIC/ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

Sugardrop is known to have been viciously toxic towards not just Shining but others in the community. There had been numerous witnesses who have been at the receiving end of this behavior and his childish outbursts. Others have also witnessed their terrible treatment of other users in Discord servers, or have almost been manipulated by him.

-       EVIDENCE #5: BEING IRRATIONAL AND JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Despite numerous reminders from both Shining and other people, Sugardrop has made other irrational claims before, most of which are false accusations of others. During most of the relationship with Shining, Sugardrop would try and place blame on them for not having enough money or a job despite Shining telling them over and over again that they were job searching and trying to build up their portfolio in order to have better luck getting a job in their chosen field. Other times, Shining would be away from messages and be doing something non-Sugardrop/Discord/Miitopia related and instead do something like be in class or shopping for groceries and Sugardrop wouldn’t like not talking to them for long periods of time. Shining even went to Sweden over the summer for a vacation and Sugardrop wanted to hear from them every day. In short, if Shining was not online then Sugardrop was displeased.

-       EVIDENCE #6: SUGARDROP’S OWN UNSTABLE MENTAL HEALTH

Despite the terrible mental illness presented in Sugardrop’s callout of their ex, Sugardrop also faced events of wanting to end their own life. They would seek out Shining and express how bad they felt and their desire to end themselves as Shining would try to talk him down. This, in turn, made Shining feel like life wasn’t worth living without Sugardrop and even tried to kill themselves without their knowledge. These events passed back and forth and created a warped, if not eventually toxic relationship. The effects of living with his father is actually from when he lived with his sister to get away from his parents and his sister still treated him badly as well and this made him seal his own emotions to appear cold and disheartened, causing Shining to be dragged along.

-       EVIDENCE #7: PRESSURE OF SEXUAL RELATIONS/CONTENT

Shining identifies as Agender and Panromantic and went by she/her pronouns during the course of the relationship. They told Sugardrop this and he told them that he was okay with this but later dropped hints of wanting sexual relations before outright telling them. Shining denied advances before giving in due to pressure. An additional note is that Sugardrop even labeled their relationship as ‘straight’ despite Shining retelling him of their gender identity multiple times.

-       EVIDENCE #8: REFUSAL OF OUTSIDE RELATIONS

It was evident now that Sugardrop was a very controlling person. During the relationship with Shining, Shining desired to be friends with others or to keep previous friendships. Sugardrop was not too keen on this and even threw sad fits over Shinings wishes and tried to earn pity points with them to try and waive their interests. Even friends of the two would converse about talking or trying to be friends with other people and Sugardrop would give a stubborn ‘no’ or vaguely sad argument to dishearten them. Shining expressed desires of befriending a person and Sugardrop somehow jumped to the idea of Shining wishing to date this new friend and became distant.

-       EVIDENCE #9 - VAGUING

Within the past several weeks, Sugardrop has been talking behind the backs of Shining and other known abuse victims. When Shining made a video venting their feelings in regards to the situation, he immediately lost it, making numerous outbursts and sending other people to harass them and several other friends online. While doing so, many anonymous people called him out on using excuses to deny the fact he’s the one who abused her. To add insult to insult to injury, he would also have an outburst on anonymous people who called him out on what he’s done.

Statement from Shining:

A lot of Sugardrop’s callout is aimed at my self-destructive behavior that had built up from the relationship. I was not of sound mind during the end of this toxic relationship due to Sugardrop being the only one I talked to 24/7 and he was the keeper of all my secrets back then. He was very clingy and would talk down to me for not having a job despite him not having a job himself, would forget and throw a fit as to why I would be away from chatting with him for a time (this was mostly when I had to keep reminding him that I was trying to get a better job or internship in animation but had a weak animation/demo reel to show to studios or companies so I was trying to work on that, I even was poor and in bad living conditions myself and wanted to meet up with him so searching for a job would help with money problems for both of us), and even humiliate or joke on me publicly even when I told him to stop. There’s more to go on about with his mean behavior not only to me but my friends and others in contact with us or just strangers on the same server.

Being around Sugardrop put a drain on me. For a long time I wanted out of this relationship, but after being with him for so long I feared what would happen to me if I broke off the relationship. We both left a server because of another person suicide-baiting everyone and sending me death threats to a friend and me later down the line. I was afraid I wouldn’t be welcomed back in that server due to siding with him based on how he handled the situation. Thankfully everything worked out in the end where the person was booted out of the server and I could safely come back in (though that person would later come back and threaten me and a friend so a callout post was made at them before they apologized and the post was taken down to give them a second chance, sadly they’ve gone back to dirt-talking about me and even claim that I hate them and haven’t moved on from them even though I barely even think about them anymore) and was I was able to regain some mental stability.

During our relationship he did confirm to me that he was plotting his own suicide and I would be the one trying to talk him down but this would mostly end with him ending the conversation on a vague note for the night and me going to bed screaming and crying into my pillows. This wore me down so much over time and my confidence shattered badly while my own anxiety and depression skyrocketed because I became so dependant on him. Mind you, this was my first relationship too so I thought that some of this was normal, to an extent. Part of the reason this relation lasted so long was because I was completely clueless on some parts as to how romantic relationships worked. I was a coward for not breaking this off sooner and felt trapped in the relationship.

My mental health worsened and I told him I couldn’t go on anymore, I hadn’t felt so bad in years. I eventually did find the courage to calm myself down and sought out help online (my psychiatrist wasn’t open 24/7 and you had to make reservations ahead of time, it was a gamble trying to get her on the line when it was an emergency). Eventually I did feel better and even started talking with other friends and have a calming down time being away from chatting since I needed a breather from Sugardrop. He was glad that I was feeling better until I told him that I sought help online. He blew up and I finally snapped- ending the relationship.

It took me months to get better, during the first few weeks I was a mess trying not to cry in front of others or in front of my driving instructors (the driving training was hard on me because I pushed for it so much just so I could get experience to go and see him since we lived in the same state). I was finally able to recover and move on, deleting his contact number, blocking him on all medias he told me he was on, and deleting everything he ever said or gave me. There was no way he’d come back into my life.

Then he showed up on the Miitopia Amino and I had a panic attack and felt very depressed, I was even shaking sometimes due to the idea of him being in a space I thought was safe for me. I eventually learned to ignore him and put him out of my mind but then I had a terrible nightmare about him and decided that this was it- being on the Amino with him around was not possible for me unless I were to face a steep decline of my mental health. I asked a mod to see if anything could be done but this was deemed an ‘outside issue’ so there was nothing more, so that was it. I made a note saying I couldn’t be on there anymore due to me being unsafe since I was popular there and didn’t want to feel guilty for leaving them. I had a withdrawal from Amino and spoke with friends about it, trying to gain back some confidence and mental stability. Then a friend messaged me about my ex having a twitter where I saw that he was attacking one of my posts and even linking a callout towards me on his new tumblr. I had a panic attack and had to tell people I knew immediately about what was going on. He had successfully entered my life again, this time against my will. His post is full of misinformation and he points out a post I made where I was feeling bad for feeling like I had messed up a friendship at school.

I’m thankful that friends and strangers alike have come to my defense and have torn down his callout but there is little chance of me ever speaking to him again still and I would prefer it if I ever to never see him again. I’m still recovering from what he did and him putting false accusations of me has set me back farther. I’m trying to heal and being away from him has worked pretty well so far. I love my friends and everyone who supports me, thank you.

[robbiejohnsonyr2ax2000]

University - Animation Research project - Development of Sylvain's films

During my research project on Sylvain Chomet, I have been curious as to what the production is like when producing his films, for example, what are the thoughts at the beginning of the project which lead to the final product. Whilst looking into this information, I have come across a few interesting bits of information, of which will be included in this blog post based on what I could find behind the scenes on some of Chomet’s films.

The Old lady and the Pigeons

The old lady and the pigeons had a very interesting development, full of twists and turns a plenty. Sylvain had been living and working in London, where he was creating tv adverts during the 1980’s. In 1990 Chomet decided to move back to France, where he came up with the up with the idea of his first film. Inspired by creators such as Nick Park (supposedly with his work on “Creature Comforts” in particular), Sylvain pitched his idea called “La vieille dame et les pigeons” (The Old Lady and the Pigeons) to a man named Didier Brunner, who was the producer of at “Les Amateurs”, Didier liked the project and 1991 production of the film began.

To begin production, the two required a bit of funding to get the project started, after the funding began, unfortunately not enough money was made to reach their goal, but they started on the project anyway (with the main funder being the “National Centre of Cinematography”). When starting production, the two brought on board Nicholas de Crecy, who had worked with Sylvain before on comics. Together they made the first four minutes of the film and pitched it to different investors and Broadcasters in hope of being picked up, unfortunately this had no success either. After little success. In 1993 Chomet decided to move to Canada for a fresh start of sorts, but shortly after Brunner was able to get an investor, that investor was the “BBC” which then led to more broadcasters catching wind of the project and production continued and five years later the project was complete and would go on to win many awards, including a BAFTA for Best Short Animated Film and cementing Chomet in the industry.

The link below is to the full short film on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqhVcRrrauY

 The Triplets of Belleville

“The Triplets of Belleville” is Chomet’s second film and one that would gain a lot of success and recognition in the industry, but the making of the film and what it achieved is interesting on multiple fronts. The two popular topics that are usually brought up are the background and character designs and the music.

The background designs where inspired by places Sylvain had visited before and had mashed them together. The city where most of the film takes place is based on a mixture of Paris, New York and Montreal, Chomet was very precise with the design and direction he wanted for the backgrounds, being a metropolis-esc city with the people living there following consumerism and a deep love for food.

Speaking of the characters the films approach to character design is fascinating, from small and quirky to large and round, the film as wide variety on show. In regards to characteristics, some characters do quite little, but these small moments create a lot and develop the character. The following quote from the article I found explains this best.

“At first a character doesn’t do anything and then with just a little gesture his emotions come to life, and those emotions transform it into a funny or sad character”

The film also manages to make characters identifiable from their shapes and sizes to identify with the audience. A short round body identifies “Madam Souza” (The old lady and main character), A tall fin body identifies her cycling son “Champ” and the wide rectangular bodies are identifiable as the “Mafia”. The film also uses a unique mixture of 2D and 3D visuals, the film favours 2D over 3D, but any form of vehicles within the film is actually 3D. The goal of using both 2D and 3D was the team wanted the two to coexist within the same film without over bearing one another, to achieve this the team took the smooth CG from each 3D object and repeatedly drew over it to give the vehicles a 2D look with depth. Another quote from my source states  “Chomet also noted that the reasoning behind this was because if you give a 2d animator something like a car or a bicycle, he is going to go mad and it’s going to be a terrible job for him because there is no life to a bicycle.” Vehicles weren’t the only use of 3D as some explosions (particularly in the final act) also used the same technique of CG 3D animation, which had been drawn over to look 2D.

Lastly, I thought the music was notable as the music sounded unique, this is because the instruments The Triplets of Belleville play are actually everyday appliances and objects. These include bicycle wheels, hoovers, fridge trays and more. Some of which where recorded directly from Chomet’s own appliances, this direction was chosen as Chomet heard certain sounds that had a distinct and unique sound to each of them, so he tested some of his appliance to find these sounds and what did and didn’t work.

The Illusionist

The Illusionist had a very interesting start, as the project wasn’t The Illusionist, but a short script by French film maker Jacques Tati. One of Tati’s daughters found Chomet during the Edinburgh film festival in 2002, the script then ended up with one of their caretakers and was then was given Chomet, Tati’s daughter wanted the film to be animated as it was originally live action and the thought of another person playing her father did make her feel comfortable, the final product became “The Illusionist”.

The Illusionist was produced in a multitude of different locations including London, Paris and Dundee with primary production taking place in Edinburgh. This was at the time the animation studio “Django Films” was around but was shut down over time due to multiple reasons, with the main culprit being production difficulties.

Some key production methods for The Illusionist, where brought over from “The Triplets of Belleville”, these include the use of 2D and 3D CG coinciding with each other and the drawn/ sketched appearance of the characters and backgrounds.

The Links below, lead to a Behind the scenes clip and to the website “Art of Animation” which features a lot of production sketches & interesting information.

Behind the scenes clip

https://www.traileraddict.com/the-illusionist-2010/featurette-bringing-it-to-life

Art of Animation website

https://characterdesignreferences.com/art-of-animation-1/art-of-the-illusionist

[satelliteofmstielove]

K18 The Million Eyes of Sumuru

                                 Like Fu Manchu, but with more sexism!

General notes

          So, sorry it took me like four months to get this next entry out. School got busy faster than I expected. But last time it was almost a year and a half, so at least there’s that…anyway…

          The Million Eyes of Sumuru is a 1967 British spy film about a scary lady and her army of scary ladies. It’s based on a book series by Sax Rohmer, a man whose name sounds like the title of a film-noir western about a jazz musician wandering in the desert. He also wrote the Fu Manchu books, which explains a lot. Also, it was directed by a guy named Lindsey. This movie includes some celebrities (sort of- does Frankie Avalon count as a celebrity?) and was produced by our other Castle of Fu Manchu friend, Harry Alan TOOOOOWEEEEERRRRRRRSSS. Wilfrid Hyde-White is in this, he played Colonel Pickering in the movie version of My Fair Lady. (I only mention that because I somehow didn’t recognize him until most of the way into this movie, even though I’ve seen My Fair Lady several times.) It also stars George Nader, from the famous and hilariously terrible Robot Monster, which we’ll get to watch later on in Season 1.

          The main interesting note about this episode is that Tom Servo leaves partway through the movie. Again, it’s a case of Josh needing to be somewhere at the same time they were taping. He’s still in the host segments, because they always taped those before the movie part. Now, let’s get to Sumuru. (I don’t have a link for this one because it’s not on YouTube, but you can find it at Club MST3K.)

Prologue

I don’t know if I ever mentioned that I like the little tentacle things in the KTMA doorway sequence.

Oh man, continuity! That’s unusual for this show in general, not even just KTMA. They did a “previously on…” sketch as the intro for The Deadly Bees [905], but that one purposefully had nothing to do with anything that has ever happened on the S.O.L. They also did general premise recaps fairly often in Season 1 and occasional other times, and some story arc recaps in Season 8 when they were forced to have a story arc. This is the only episode I know of, thought, that has a classic “previously” bit, separate from the rest of the host segment, that recaps with a clip from the previous episode. Neat.

Also, does anyone recognize the voice-over voice? Josh or Kevin are the usual deep-voice go-tos, but this doesn’t sound like either of them. The musical sting comes from Fugitive Alien (I thought it was Time of the Apes at first, which goes to show how well I don’t know my Season 3 episodes).

After the clip, we join the Mads trying to get a look at Joel floating outside the satellite. They confirm for us that he is not floating naked in space, but is actually wearing underwear (which we could kinda tell from that very accurate action-figure Joel model). I had to look up what “BVDs” were, though. I had to look at this so now you do, too:

Whatever camera they’re using to look at Joel must have really good zoom if they can tell his cheeks are blue.

Has he been out there for a whole week? That’s impressive. Much later, in Time Chasers [821], the S.O.L. seemed to maybe have a Tardis-like air bubble-forcefield thing around it when it docked with Pearl’s van, so maybe that’s how Joel managed. Of course, a week in the cold of space with no food or water doesn’t really leave him very well off even if he had air, but those are all science facts. More likely this episode and the last one just take place closer together that that. (My default headcanon assumption is most episodes take place roughly in real time with when they aired, but there’s exceptions to that for sure). But again, I’m more than willing to relax about this kind of thing. I just speculate for fun.

The Mads are 2001-loving dorks, and we love them for it. As characters. As people, they’re jerks.

I think this may the first occurrence of weirdly affectionate Dr. F nicknames for Joel. We’ve had a few weird insults in previous episodes, but I think this is the first of this particular kind.

I didn’t know the Mads could open the S.O.L. doors from down on Earth. But I guess they control all sorts of other things from their lab, so why not the doors? Larry doesn’t actually press any buttons, but Joel gets inside anyway. Maybe he pressed it under the desk.

Joel is putting on his jumpsuit as he comes onto the bridge. The bots must have left it right by the door. Why did Joel take it off to go outside in the first place? Was he in the middle of changing and got sucked out the door? Actually, a random semi-nude spacewalk doesn’t seem too far outside something Joel might do on purpose…

Joel also thanks the Mads for letting him inside. It’s good to be polite to your captors, I suppose. In some episodes, rudeness does result in punishment, so probably a smart idea.

 Locked you out again? How many times has this happened, Joel? Maybe you need to get another key. Although if he’s going out into space in only his underwear, he might not have a good place to keep it…this is getting weird, let’s move on.

Trace’s weird expressions in this segment keep making me laugh.

The Mads are really enjoying taunting Joel this week. I like their doofy handshake. I can imagine them doing that in the halls at Gizmonic and other mad scientists just looking at them like they can’t stand them.

Joel’s response is actually much more sarcastic than usual for him (outside the theater). 3-12 weeks? What’s he talking about there? Anyone know? Did KTMA have multiple seasons?

Poor guy, he sounds really done. Being stuck out in the vacuum of space for a while probably does that to you.

The Mads’ movie intros are starting to sound more like they will for the rest of the series. Also, Larry tells Clay to get the movie, and he does. I sometimes forget that Dr. F and Dr. Erhardt were portrayed mostly as equals during KTMA. The junior doctor/henchman thing didn’t really get going until Season 1.

I never know what to make of angry Joel. It happened more often in KTMA, but still not that much. Also, his hand gestures are weird.

We didn’t see the bots in this segment, probably because they’re off hiding from Joel and their impending punishment.

Movie pt. 1

Wow, the Mads were right; this is a really washed-out print.

Joel comes into the theater dancing to the parade music from the movie. He seems to have forgotten about being angry. Maybe the bots got an earful on the way down.

4:32, time and temp: 6:04 and 67°. The episode originally aired in early May, so I’d assume this is sometime around then, if not the exact night. I don’t know if TV23 re-ran these or not.

Crow mispronounces “emperor” at 4:39, and corrects himself, which makes Joel chuckle.

At 4:43, Tom tries to apologize for locking Joel outside, saying they “didn’t really know it was [him].” Joel understandably doesn’t respond.

During the opening credits, they do a lot of “relative of famous person with same last name” jokes. Those became a staple during credits for the rest of the show, especially the Joel seasons.

Servo doesn’t know who the Buddha is at 7:27. Also, Joel’s Wisconsin accent really comes out when he says “Buddha.”

At 7:46, Joel starts a riff that just sort of peters out. Something about the plant in front of the camera, but I’m not sure what he was trying to say.

8:13, Joel makes a pun and asks Crow if he likes it. Crow doesn’t seem overly enthused, but he says it was cool, anyway. Tom then tells him should laugh at it, since Joel’s upset with them. He hasn’t been acting too upset since they got into the theater, but maybe he’s been glowering or something.

Crow and Joel both talk at the same time at 8:31. They’re usually pretty good at not doing that, considering it’s improv.

At 8:35, Joel says “whoops” and looks down. It looks like he was just moving out of the way of the movie, but maybe he hit Crow’s arm or something.

Movie thing: I know it’s not even 10 minutes in yet, but the editing in this is really bad.

At 11:52, Joel tells Crow a terrible joke, which he kinda laughs at, but it seems to make him a little bit sad. Joel laughs, though.

Servo’s Frankie Avalon joke at 12:27- does that come from somewhere or did Josh just make that up on the fly? It’s very clever. Josh always has been the best of the MST alumni at off-the-cuff quips. Crow and Joel groan, though.

At 13:01, I’m not sure what Joel’s laughing at.

Joel bats at the old man at 13:16.

Movie thing: Gosh, 60s white-people dancing is always so second-hand embarrassing. Also, along with being washed out, the sound is really bad in this, too. I’m having a hard time understanding what anyone is saying.

I appreciate their Batman riffs at 15:43.

At 16:36, Tom makes fun of Frankie Avalon for being in the movie, but since Frankie’s hugging a pretty lady on screen at the time, Crow disagrees with his assessment. His enthusiastic follow-up about Frankie’s hand placement makes me laugh, along with Joel.

Josh calls commercial at 17:22, while making fun of Colonel Medika’s line delivery.

The guys are talking over each other a lot this week. I guess they’re just full of riff ideas.

Joel’s delivery at 17:45 is kind of adorable, for some reason.

All their riffs about the van starting at 18:26 are really funny, but what was that, Joel? Freeze him and make him into little bongs? Bombs? Huh?

I’m sorry, but WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

You can’t really see it because the quality is so bad, but at 19:27, Joel and the bots lean along with the car-chase cam.

Terrible pun from Joel at 20:20ish.

Some more of the Crow attitude we know and love at 22:20.

At 22:29, Servo complains to Joel about hearing voices in his head. Joel sounds a little concerned, but then Tom drops it.

Joel starts poking at Frankie’s giant chin at 22:57.

Crow just can’t let the poor framing in this scene go.

Tom’s confused about the number of Sumuru’s eyes at 26:10.

Joel gives the naked woman two thumbs up at 26:52, then stands up to look down at her chest! Unexpected from him. Things are getting awfully blue in here…

Crow starts a game of tag with Joel as they leave the theater, which is cute. Joel takes a huge obvious step over Trace on the floor, and mumbles something. I can’t tell whether he says something to Trace, or say something about “chase”. Either would make sense in context.

Host Segment 1

 We go right into the host segment, skipping the doorway sequence. It’s hard to tell with these VHS recordings whether that’s how the episode was made, or if the person just cut it out. It does look like a little bit from the beginning of this segment is cut off.

Joel is still mad about being locked out of the ship, so he’s attached “idioprobes” to the bots. They look like strings, and apparently administer pain while attached. That seems a little harsh to me, but I’ve also never been stuck out in space in my underwear, either. I like the way Crow sidles sideways into frame.

When Joel rips the idioprobes off the bots, you can clearly see the string on Servo, but he just pretends to grab something off of Crow. They didn’t have any extra string for a prop?

After Joel removes them, Servo starts trying to give the “we didn’t know it was you” excuse again, saying they thought it was any of several dead musicians. (All the people in the list are drummers, except for Elvis.)

Joel’s not having it, and threatens the probes again. I’m not really sure why they’re called probes; they’re not really probing anything.

Tom demands a trial by his peers, and Joel says that he’d build them more peers if he could. Interesting- does that mean he’s used up all useful robot building parts on the ship already? That would explain why he stopped at four, besides the fact that four is more than enough to deal with.

Then Joel asks where Gypsy is, and the other two hem and haw and finally admit they left her stuck in the spiral-on-down, which I think is the way to the theater? I know they’ve used the term before, but infrequently. Anyway, Joel’s not happy about that, either. Servo’s defense is pretty reasonable, since his arms don’t work. Crow’s in trouble, though.

Apparently you can unstick Gypsy from the spiral-on-down by pressing a button on the little control panel thing. I wonder if that unsticks her from anywhere in the satellite, or if it’s just for that one spot. Crow calls it a robo-purge button, which kind of makes it sound like the former.

I love Gypsy’s screech when she gets released.

Joel seems so done with the bots and everything by the end of this segment. He can’t do anything but smile and (metaphorically) wave. The cheesy grin isn’t usually his style; that’s more of a Mike thing.

Movie pt. 2

Still 67° at 6:38 (am or pm).

Joel sings a little Sumuru song at 35:48. I’m not sure if the tune comes from somewhere or if he was just making it up on the spot. Anyone recognize it?

At 36:20, Joel and the bots mess with the car dashboard.

37:33- Tom makes another off-color joke. I have a feeling more are on the way, given the content of the movie.

At 44: 20, Servo brings up the slant-6 Swinger car again, the one they mentioned in a few previous episodes.

He also calls commercial at 44:45.

Joel’s sounding extra sleepy in a lot of his lines.

Ah good, it’s time for the movie to dial up the sexism again.

By 51:11, Crow’s lost patience with the kissing scene.

At 52:04, Tom tells Joel he needs to leave, because he needs to go bake brownies for the Pinewood Derby. The real-life reason was mentioned at the top, but I’m thinking in-universe, Servo was just tired of watching this movie. Joel’s fine with him leaving, as long as he agrees to show up for the sketches between the movies segments. Tom promises, and wonders if they have eggs. Just a pointless thought, since it doesn’t matter how they eat (or breathe), but I always assumed either the Mads send them supply shipments, or they have some kind of food synthesizer that makes it for them. They definitely have the latter by the end of the series, since Crow mentions it in Soultaker [1001], but earlier than that, it’s not clear. Maybe both?

Host Segment 2

Joel tries to hold a trial for the bots, but, as usual, everything is a joke to them. They just won’t go along with anything he’s trying to do. The courtroom thing reminds me of Crow’s trial for cheating in Wild World of Batwoman [515].

The bots go off on another word-association tangent, which leads to a game show sketch, while Joel just looks on impatiently.

He uses the button panel as a gavel.

Even Gypsy gets in on making life difficult for Joel. It looks like maybe Josh was throwing his voice to do Gypsy from the other side of the desk. Either that or they recorded that part in post. Either way, Trace or somebody else must have been operating her.

Time and temp comes up on the host segment this time; Still 67° at 7:07. The updates are more frequent this week than last time.

Joel gives up on getting order in the court, and picks up Tom and kisses his head while misquoting Jimi Hendrix. What else can you do but give into the madness?

What is that on the desk besides the papers? It looks like an upside-down mug, maybe?

I like the weird noise Crow makes when Joel calls Movie Sign.

Movie pt. 3

 As Servo mentioned, he doesn’t go back into the theater with the others. Joel was holding him as they ended the last segment, so I guess he must have put him down somewhere on the way to the theater.

Joel and Crow try to move away from the spraying champagne at 55:10.

I agree with Crow at 56:27, please stop.

Man, Crow keeps saying what I’m thinking.

At 59:45, Crow calls back to the oceanic opening credits from the Gamera films.

Oh goodness, again with the Brain That Wouldn’t Die-style KPORN saxophone…also, so does security want to like, check her bag or anything before she goes in to the president? No? Yeah, see, that’s exactly why security exists.

Wait, he did get shot? Huh? It would be nice if they would SHOW us what’s happening! And this is the most ineffectual political security ever.

Host Segment 3

As promised, Tom is back for the host segment.

I love Crow’s flowers on his net.

Joel was out in space for five weeks? I guess it was longer between episodes than I thought.  That’s what I get for not checking first.

It amuses me that the bots are just now asking about this, even though they obviously thought about before, since Servo did calculations. But Joel’s got a guitar and he’s ignoring their questions, sort of like how they ignored him earlier when he was trying to put them on trial.

Time and temperature again, 7:28 and down to 65°.

Joel and the bots sing us a lovely part of the theme song to remind us to just relax about the eating and breathing thing. I’m guessing they anticipated people calling/writing in with questions about how Joel survived. As much as this episode guide exists to overthink things, that kind of science fact I am quite relaxed about, and I don’t mind being reminded.

I wonder whose guitar that is. It might be Josh’s, since I know he has musical inclinations. It doesn’t look the same as the guitar Larry has during the Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn song in Women of the Prehistoric Planet [104], but that doesn’t mean it’s not still his. Also, do you think Joel’s really playing the guitar here? It sure looks like he is, but I’ve heard him say in interviews that he doesn’t play the guitar. Maybe he just meant he doesn’t anymore, or very much.

I think Crow is just moving his mouth, not actually singing. Nice harmonies from Tom, though.

Movie pt. 4

Haha, she’s running to her inevitable death, it’s funny! These highly-trained assassins sure jog at a casual pace, don’t they? I guess they’re probably in heels.

At 1:08:21, Joel mentions that he likes a movie with lots of midriff. This one ought to make him happy, then, no midriff shortage here.

Classic “oh wow” from Joel at 1:12:28, and another at 1:12:39. I don’t know if I’m going to note all of them. Maybe I should, and then someday someone can make a pointless compilation video or something.

Wizard of Oz reference #16 at 1:12:46. Maybe someday someone can make a pointless compilation of these, too.

Crow makes Joel laugh at 1:12:53.

The guys have no patience for Frankie’s fourth-wall-breaking joke at 1:13:01.

Wow, what a pointlessly prolonged scene leading up to nothing. They did in two minutes what they could have done in 30 seconds. That’s padding Roger Corman could be proud of.  

Also, that cut. This movie can’t decide if it wants to be a comedy or not. Not that it’s succeeding at comedy, but sometimes it’s sure trying.

“I know it’s best” because I’m a man, albeit a wimpy, useless one. Man, just like City on Fire, this movie annoys me so much I can’t leave it alone, even though that’s not what this guide is for. (I also think it’s easy to start filling in riffs yourself in KTMA, when it’s slow.)

I just noticed Joel’s leaned way back in his chair.

He calls commercial at 1:21:07.

Sumuru’s mines are operated by switches? That seems far less effective than normal mines…

Joel keeps talking about midriffs. I guess he really is a fan. 

I’m sorry I keep talking about movie things, but why the heck is Frankie here? Isn’t his character just some rich playboy with no actual skills? Did I miss some line near the beginning that explained his extensive military training? I really might have, the sound was terrible.

Joel’s riff attempt at 1:32:26- he pauses to get his sentence in order, then still says “fooms” instead of “films”. I find that way funnier than I should.

Is Joel okay? He’s having a really hard time getting over Trace on the way out, again. Maybe they’re squished closer to the wall than usual?

Conclusion

 Apparently Servo’s mouth is broken now, so Joel moves it for him and makes him sing.

Joel mentions they’ve got 900 people in the fan club. That’s extremely impressive for a dinky little puppet show on local UHF. Seems like people could tell from the beginning that MST3K was destined for greatness.

The fan club newsletter is called The Binding Polymer? I wonder why. Just science-y sounding, I guess.

Why does Joel need to move Servo’s mouth to talk when he’s not even onscreen? Maybe he can’t talk at all if his mouth doesn’t move. That seems like an odd design choice for a robot, but then again, so do most aspects of the bots. Speaking of Tom’s mouth, is KTMA Tom’s mouth the same as regular Tom’s mouth, but upside down? I’m probably just crazy.

Crow seems shocked by Joel’s sudden button press.

As he often does, Joel looks offscreen before the camera cuts away. He really does seem tired this week, doesn’t he? Hope he went home after this and slept.

Kevin’s listed under “Puppet Operation” in the credits. Maybe that means he was running Gypsy in the second host segment.

Thoughts on the Movie

          Wow. You know, after reading a little bit about it, I had hopes that The Million Eyes of Sumuru would be a little bit higher quality than the past few movies we’ve seen. In some ways, that’s true.

          But overall, I have to say…WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MOVIE?! I have so many questions: Why can’t George Nader and Frankie Avalon stop being smug and sardonic and cutesy for three and a half seconds? Why did they frame shots so half the time you can’t tell what’s going on? And President Boong? First of all, Boong, really? Second of all, Sinonesia? What? Third of all, he is clearly a white guy in eyeliner and all of this is supposed to be remotely acceptable to the audience!? I mean, Fu Manchu was racist, too, but at least they made some attempt to suspend audience disbelief.

          And the really big one: how do you think they fit this much misogyny into one film? Remember, even if a woman hates men and has dedicated her whole life to destroying them, she still becomes instantly smitten if touched by a man, no matter how unattractive. Also, even if she is a trained martial-artist-assassin, she will not make any attempt to stop said man from touching her, because she is a woman. Yes, women exist solely as sexual creatures who could never desire anything more than to be dominated by men, no matter what they may try to convince themselves otherwise. In fact, every human being is motivated only by sex at all times! And was that significant glance between Helga and the other chick at the end there supposed to redeem anything? Sax Rohmer, Harry Towers, Kevin Kavanagh (screenwriter on this fine, fine film)- y’all have issues.

          This movie has plenty of other stupidity which I’m not going to bother to get into. I think I’ve expressed my feelings adequately. It’s not unwatchable in the way Castle of Fu Manchu is, but it’s plenty more offensive. Let’s just move on with our lives.

Review

          This one was okay. As I said before, Josh thrives the most on the improv riffing, and the second part really starts to drag once he leaves. I still laughed out loud at several riffs, (favorite riff- Crow: Does she always make that noise when she walks?) but there’s a lot of dead space in between. Compared to the past few episodes, it definitely has less energy, which also makes it easier to get caught up in the badness of the movie.

          Overall, had good parts, wouldn’t put it in my KTMA top five, by any means. Still, with every episode the guys seem to figuring out more and more the feeling they want in the movie and host segments. You can see it moving towards its destination.

[daechai]

Cras and Dahlia- FFXV Ocs

Here is some info of my OCs I’ve been working on haha

Cras: Hunter, formal imperial noble -Healer,can hack slightly -Sexuality: Gay (is in love with Charen-other oc) -Weapons: ‘Reaper’s Grip’ flaming scythe, obtained in battle with his greatest feared daemon. ‘Noceur’ dual swords, definition: one who does not sleep nor rest ‘Lethe’ Long ice sword, meaning: something to get you into oblivion/blissfull forgetfullness ‘Resfeber’ Lance given by Charen, definition: the restless race of a traveler’s heart when a journey begins, anxiety. -Loves: Charen, piercings, making salad, Dahlia (as a best friend), Later on: Prompto, Ignis, Noctis, and Gladiolus -Hobbies: Bothering people, writing, naming weapons (thus the meaning behind each one) -Traits: bit narcissistic, chicken when it comes to fighting alone, social, lazy at times, very confident but doesnt think before he acts, serious in times of healing Appearance: Pink short hair, slightly pale skin with light (almost grey) brown eyes, a mole instead of the traditional cras freckles, piercings (3 in both ears and one on lip) Tattoos: 1 of grima in his back bc he is a nerd/ some bands around his arms/ two sets of wings in his left hand (the one he writes with) that reminds him of Charen/ one he got in his left writst with Dahlia because of one particular mission, very tall, has good build. Usually wears a normal black shirt and some dark blue jeans with some belts and straps on the sides. He also wears light shoes like converse or boots when the weather/traveling needs it. Usually has a small sports backpack in which he keeps his medical supplies as well as his computer, food, and other essentials. He also has some chains and leader straps around his arms because apparently they look cool?? He has some scars along his back and behind his legs and a small one at the side of his neck (courtesy of Dahlia when they first met). Has Charen’s hunter dog tag instead of his because his family wouldnt bother finding him and Charen dissapeared.

Dahlia: Hunter, formal resident of Lucis -Tactitian, is a pretty good shot -Sexuality: Bisexual -Weapons: 'Seldom’ sniper, she believes that wishing for something gives you the opposite so in this case this will give her more shots than random hits. 'Nepenthe'dual guns, def: something that can make you forget grief or suffering 'Kairos’ ice sphear, def: the perfect, delicate, crucial moment (suggested by Cras, Dahlia loved it) 'Convivencia’ long sword (given by her family and named by Cras- they both share the sword at times in battle) Loves: Prompto (later on ooo), Cras (as a best friend), piercings, traveling, her weapons, and (later on) Ignis, Noctis, and Gladiolus Hobbies: writing (journal keeping), traveling, archery/shooting (helps her with aim) Traits: Strong, sometimes stern, usually angry with Cras,has a very lovely smile and laugh (even when she barely does it),a no-bs kind of person, enjoys jokes and can be sarcastic Appearance: Slightly dark/tan skin, brown dark hair and grey eyes, piercings (4 in both ears), Tattoos: one on her right wrist she got with Cras because of a particular mission, slightly shorter than average and fairly built, usually wears a dark grey tank top with black cargo pants (with lots of pockets) and belts on her waist and sides to keep her dual guns nearby, she also usually wears a long cammo green jacket with loads of pockets as well as a hoodie. When it’s cold she wears a snow blue jacket with a fuzzy hoodie (belonging to her father), she also wears black cammo boots usually or black boots with heels at times when travelling. Sometimes she styles her hair with braids and designs if in a good mood but usually pulls it up into a ponytail on missions (only lets her hair down when chilling). She has a few scars on her back, some in her arms (shoulders) one on her eyebrow and a very small one on her lip. She keeps her dog tag on her neck to at least have her family know where she was all along when died (she asked Cras to be the one to give her tag to her family and no one else).

Trivia: -Cras and Dahlia have a very close sibling like relationship, at first ordered at a mission together by Dave because they wouldnt stop fighting with each other and later becoming best friends. -Cras absolutely is in love with Charen and wont stop talking about him, nobody knows who he is or whether or not he exists except for Dahlia who has met him like twice. -Cras is a complete coward when fighting at night and usually complains to Dahlia since she stays far away to accurately snipe. -Dahlia at times in response shoots a few 'warning’ shots towards him when he keeps complaining about it. -The only time Cras every gets serious is when attending someone with medical needs of important issues about Charen. -Dahlia is very smart and good at tactics (including buying and handling stuff) while Cras is very smart in academics as well as computers. -Dahlia later develops a crush on prompto, usually sketching out the pictures he takes but her self esteem (especially about her family problems, partner from before, and such) keeps her away from him. -Cras loves to tease and bother Dahlia and she probably wants to kill him by now. -Dahlia doesnt mind seeing the guts of humans and creatures alike while Cras internally screams inside (usually gets over it when being a healer). -Cras owns a motorcycle and Dahlia usually hops in as well behind him. -Theyre both known as the notorious pair of hunters who wont stop bickering at each other during missions

Some backstory: When she was young,Dahlia actually fell into a coma for unexplainable reasons for a long period of time. When she came back to consciousness, her family was utterly worried and wouldnt let her be for days. Because of the medical bills, her family started struggling financially and she felt extremely guilty about it. She slowly kept falling deep and deeper into self hate and feeling like a burden thus escaping to be a hunter, at least she wouldn’t cause any trouble for her family and at times could send anonymous tips of money towards them. Sometimes she takes out a picture with her brothers just to stare at it, she keeps the one with her parents hidden as it hurts her too much. Later on her travels she fell in love with a fellow hunter and was even thinking about marriage when he disappeared, she kept his dog tag with her thinking he was dead until she reached Lestallum and found him trying to live another life, acting like he didn't know her and having another love, this made her hopelessly bitter and at times sad later on in her life.

Cras was actually a son of the imperial noble families, he hated his family and having escaped multiple times he stumbled across a bar where he met Charen. He quickly fell in love with him and it became mutual. He becomes a bad boy type, following Charen around getting piercings, having tattoos and stuff, he was about to do drugs when Charen stopped him. He worried he was a bad influence so he decided to start pushing him away. One day Charen decides to join this extremely dangerous band of hunters (which are infamous for doing anti empire acts of revelry). Cras offers to join but Charen seriously doesn’t want him to be in danger. One of the rules of the organization is that if he joins he must be sworn to secrecy and hiding, so he 'breaks up’ with Cras and runs away, only leaving him his number for his (now ex) boyfriend to contact him in extreme life and dead situations. Cras calls him/texts him all the time, sometimes Charen does respond most time he doesn’t. When he does, Cras attempts to hack and trace whatever he can to find him, this usually successfully happens every few months or so. Everytime Cras meets him they fight (Charen always trying to keep him away and Cras always trying to convince him to come with him). Their relationship is extremely complicated, Cras wants to start a family and spend his life with Charen while he thinks he is a threat to Cras’ existence.

A small scenario (after Cras and Dahlia meet the four guys and decide to join their party as the Prince’s hired retainers):

(Its dark at night and the group has decided to camp out, Cras gets a text from Charen and immediately starts to use his computer while typing furiously, after a few minutes he stands up and starts walking away into the shadows).

“Hey where is Cras going?” “He found Charen, just give him a few hours” Dahlia places her hands over her hips with a grim expression and yells towards Cras’ direction “I’ll be waiting here with the medical pack by the time you come back!” Noctis and the others at first looked extremely worried, their expressions slowly turning into confusion by Dahlia’s calm demeanor. After a few hours of them waiting while finishing a game of King’s knight and starting to help Ignis prepare dinner, Cras finally shows up. Stumbling from the shadows the four can’t help but wince as he walks towards the light. Showered with cuts all over his arms and legs, he seemed to be gripping his arm that was either strained or broken by the way it looked. Once he turned around to sit in front of Dahlia, they noticed that a giant rip was apparent on his back, showing a tattoo with an intricate wing design only to be covered by a deep gash, blood pouring out of it. Dahlia’s eyes only slightly widened as she went to get the medical bag and started patching him up. “Hey Cras, this is worse than usual…. what did you tell him this time?…” she almost whispers with a grim expression as she starts covering his wounds. Cras gave a sad wry grin as he was being patched up, he gave a half hearted chuckle as he responded “I asked him this time to marry me.”

[ilikelookingatthings]

Akatsuki no Yona 196: comment from youtube I wrote and liked

I don't personally think Il taking yon-hi to the temple to get the blessing by the high priest was a back stab. while its true Il knew his brother wasn't a fan of the headpriests or going to the temple and that he was taking her before yoo-hon came back, It felt more like a attempt to share something he cared about. 

just not done in the right way. like how yu-hon wanted Il to come hang out with him and we know yu-hon cared about Il but it clearly came out as scolding and like yu-hon was looking down on Il like everyone else. Yu-hon was the crowned prince and would hypothetically HAVE to work in close contact with the priests once he became the king and Yon-hi was a commoner being married into the family. It makes sense that Il would try to bring yon-hi to the priests o get the blessing for the marriage because prince Il wanted yon-hi to be fully accepted without easy targets people could use against her as well as his big brother and try to use that as a babystep to get his brother to realize the priests aren't bad. of course we know that plan went up shits creek once yu-hon returned and the priests figured out her identity on site.

 Though it does have a strong parallel not because of the 'backstab' part but because of the misunderstanding part and terrible communication. Il and yu-hon were dealing with Il making assumptions about his brothers motive over a perceived betrayal(yu-hon hiding the identity or in this case killing kaashi) and yu-hon not given aot of time to properly explain but then lashing at Il in anger. 

 YOUR FACE XD I could tell immediately when you got to the stabbing panel! even before you started calling Il a piece if shit XD

 though I would say when has yu-hon stood up for Il? We know Yu-hon cares about his brother and felt anger at people already being depressed about Il being the king and expressed to yon-hi and soo-won that he wants to support his younger brother and rally the kingdom around Il.

 WE understandably know that because Kaashi heard this in private. But Yu-hon even when he first met Yon-hi let people talk shit about his brother andeven said he can;t blame them because he gets angry and irritated with his brother as well and says the same stuff. Yu-hon admited to that. He never told Il how important Il was to him strait up or what he admires in Il TO Il himself. 

Yon-hi was honest and said what she admired in Il but yu-hon never corrected the lady's opinions or said to anyone else why yon-hi made a impression on him. Yu-hon got angry at people for not cheering for his brother and he sad mundeok was the only one who cheered by it was never stated if Yu-Hon cheered himself. Yu-hon is well liked by everyone so if he cheered wouldn't the others have tried joining in or something?

 Il is still a piece of shit for stabbing his brother in the back of course but did Il really start this? Il was a jerk when he found out her identity and got the proper punch he deserved but yu-hon did hide her identity for what Il saw was no reason and Il had meant well when bringing yon-hi to the priests. its not like yu-hon doesn't believe in the religion.

 he just doesnt like bowing to the head priests. Yu-hon burned all the temples and priests alive women and children included just because the head priests visited yon-hi's family. admittedly I was sketched out and assuming the worsts of the priests but thy hadn't done anything that deserved all of them set on fire. and the more we got to know kaashi and ik-soo(yoon's priest) the more I'm convinced the head priest was actually a genuinely good person. 

 1.  Its confirmed from the last chapter that kaashi's powers are real. we know ik'soo's power was real and he can hear the voice of the gods and kaashi stated the priest also understood her powers. and they all recognized yon-hi' blood and yona's. Kaashi was kind to yon-hi from the get go when they first met. she also literally almost died by flame and watched important people to her and her job burned, yet she was the one who outed her identity to yon-hi after that years later. trusting yon-hi and not holding a grudge. letting yona and soo-won play. telling yon-hi about yona's identity and her powers and comforting yon-hi.

 telling yon-hi that she just needs ti be happy and live her life and thats enough meaning as in the end yon-hi and yona are just none powered humans and kaashi expressed she wanted to talk more for yonhi. also worried about her health. Kaashhi more than anyone would have the right to hold a grudge against yon-hi and her family for what yu-hon did but instead showed kindness to yon-hi that even Il noticed and really appreciated that yon-hi has been there for kaashi. 

 2. Ik-soo can hear the gods and was driven out as a young child with no one taking care of him where he was so kind and empathetic he gave away jewels and his shoes to strangers to help in anyway he could. and he was kind and helped raise yoon. helped the heros and was understanding toward yona and her group despite the fact her uncle drove him out as burned all the priests and yona's father couldn;t stop him. and king Il hadn;t been a very good king. 

 3. and the things we know the head prist did was visit yon-hi's family. listened to their stories of plight and their short lives and cried for them. grieved for their loved ones. and showed genuine joy that they existed and gave many in the family peace of mind and a fullfillment just from that exchange. making such a positive impact all of yon-hi's family grieved his terrible end and her mom felt so grief strickened she killed herself because they saw him as such a good man. 

Yu-hon burned people who hadn't even known yon-hi's secert and hadn't thought to ask yon-hi or her family what they wanted. and yu-hon didn't think at all how that would affect Il. and yu-hon was praised by the people because they'll judge everything he does as nessacary because they like him and his strength.  

Though Il is a piece of shit because if he is the king...why not send yu-hon to a court and judge him? why stab him and throw him off a cliff? does Il think yu-hon would get away with murdering kaashi like yu-hon got away with killing the priests? Il doesn't gain anything from killing Yu-hon. like yu-hon is the most popular. at least tolerate him for long enough til the country stablizes properly. like Il knows yu-hon has a wife and a kid and killing yu-hon is depriving them of someone they love. inflicting the same pain Il and yona feels from the loss of his wife onto yon-hi and soo-won. was it to protect his brothers reputation and yon-hi and soo-won?

 if yu-hon dies from a 'accident' they wont have to deal with the ramification of the husband/father killing the queen of kouka which is tatamount to treason.

Il's focused motivation is TERRIBLE. Yu-hon is right that Il shouldn't focus on praying to the gods or assuming they'll be safe as long as yona is around because she is the reincarnation of some longdead king and dragons. 

yu-hon is the supirour ruler in that regard because you have to do stuff and act. you can't just wait around praying and it sounds like crazy talk out of Il. Its definitly a reminder that yu-hon was the crown prince and raised the rule and has experience that Il doesn't have. Their father fousing on praying with Il rather than actually training Il and no one helpong il and just scolding himin the past rather than teach him.  especially since yu-hon might have let the wife go unharmed. 

 But on the other hand yu-hon lied about not knowing yon-hi was a priestess. he immediately going into a rant about how kaashi swindled Il and the grandpa with her lies and that she would be the downfall of the kingdom when Il guessed wrong about yu-hon's motivation. whichcame across as yu-hon correcting Il about the motivation behind killing kaashi rather actually denying that he killed her. Il doesn't have the best track record with guessing yu-hon's motivations so it might lean that yu-hon didn't kill kaashi and this was a misunderstanding. 

something I would have believed until yu-hon said that she tricked Il and the grandpa and she would ruin the country. Il reminding us that yu-hon does show no mercy to people he doesn't want to understand(hence the killing of all the priests and the beheading people in the first place). 

and yu-hon did act odd last chapter and talked about his growing hatred for hirryu and saying he'd protect them and with his personality known for looking for a fight. possible resentment that kaashi is connected to those gods who gave yon-hi the short end of the stick. that kaashi was around when yon-hi collapsed.

 yu-hon HAS motivation on multiple fronts. especially since yu-hon would want Il to figure stuff out himself and not with a priest/priestess. if yu-hon though kaashi was a bad influence on his brother which could affect the country I could see yu-hon killing her. or send others to kill her. that or his aim was yona. I WANT to say the Il is assuming wrong and yu-hon wouldn't do that but yu-hon is unpredictable in that regard once he sees someone as a threat to his country or his family. even Yon-hi who knows yu-hon the best focused on the possibility that yu-hon killed kaashi as legit unlike the others who focused on Il talking crazy talk and being bewitched by the priestess and killing his brother in the back rather than focusing that its a real possibility that Il wasn't mistaken about yu-hon being responsible for kaashi's death.

 the yu-hon group talking about the murder feel like the type to focus that even if yu-hon did kill kaashi that it was for the best because yu-hon said she bewitched or fed il and the grandpa falsehoods. Yon-hi seems to believe her husband killing kaashi was pretty possible. Its still heinous for Il to stab his brother in the back and push him off the cliff without what seems like airtight proof of yu-hon killing kaashi but its been a while since the wifes death that Il could have properly investigated  for all we know. 

Il might be a brat but no one would kill their brother unless he had real good evidence that proves what yu-hon did/was responsable for it. Though admittedly Il could have also been out of his right might because not only is he king when he wasnt prepared but his wife died. grief can make people act irrational and yu-hon insulting the dead kaashi by saying she's some con artist probably wasn;t helping yu-hon's case. there would definitly be a extra hint of tradgedy if it turned out yu-hon didn't kill kaashi and it was just bandits or just yu-hon supporters.

 heck I would almost believe they could be spys from other kingdoms. after all killing the queen(though my bet it was aimed for yona who I'm betting kaashi secretly snuck out of the carriage to protect her) would be a huge blow for prince Il who is legendary for not being like yu-hon and who seems to have less confidence in himself. especially after the death of the father and a surprise switch of the heir. that might connect into why soo-won was worried about the other countries seeing kouka kingdom as a good target. 

If it really was just a unfortunate accident this would be tradgic because Il doesn't have faith in his brother  wouldn't hurt him like this. It would play in how both Il and yu-hon are vry very stubborn on changing their minds on stuff. and just how bad yu-hon murdering all those priests had Il lose his faith in him. whats even extra sad is yu-hon was extra happy because Il actually invited him out for a horse ride himself. yon-hi and us know how much yu-hon actually wanted to bond with his brother. 

Yu-hon even wanted his brother to hold a weapon and be more manly. yu-hon got what he wanted in the worst nightmare of ways. 

 god....if only Il was smart enough to keep yu-hon alive. like even if yu-hon did kill kashi the smart thing would be to keep yu-hon alive for the kingdom to protect it and to have help til yu-hon rallys everyone together. Il must have known he wasnt experienced or ready and the smart move would be to have his brother stay alive and support him like how soo-won and yona tolerate eachother being around with the excuse its good for the country(even if personally they care about eachother still). 

but then grieving Il who was thinks his brother killed his wife and it makes sense that he might not be able to tolerate working by the side of his brother who killed his wife. Its like if when soo-won was hiding yona under his cloak by the coast when they et up after the pirate arc and if yona actualy went through with grabbing the sword and killling soo-won.

 it makes sense emotionally if she did that evenif it wouldn;t be smart for her or the kingdom. only yona couldn't bring herself to do it. Il on the other hand stabbed and threw him off the cliff.

 It lines up that Il is very firm in his beliefs that violence is bad, try for peace and out lawing slavery. but he isn't good at figuring out how to actually impliment or get stuff done. mind yo it probably didn;t help that none of the tribes were willing to give him a fair shot other than te windtribe from the very begining. its hard to get styff done when you don't have real support from people after all. and Il of course doesnt have yu-hon's experience and was so traumatized by the amount of people who died that he'd avoid it at all costs.

 Il means well but doesnt take how to impliment it properly. like how he hates weapons and violence which is understandable but he didn't understand the people who trained and wanted to fight to protect the country and that shaming weapons or over protective wasnt going to help his country prosper. just as his over protective nature left yona without many skills to help her once she had o go outside to the point she didn't even know the troubles the fire tribe had with food and terrain. and he killed his own brother. 

no wonder he needed yona to be so safe. if yu-hon had to die than yona has to live.

King Il did at least cry. but  damn... I kindof hope it was a murder plot by a different country to frame yu-hon or something. it does make king Il calling himself a cowardly king himself to take on so many more meanings O.O his dislike of weapons being even stronger as time passed. 

 il saying the royal family all had bad ended to yona. the interpretations where Il is just a stone cold jerk and doesn't like soo-won and stuff and is childish with yu-hon. but then if we remember that Il IS a naturally kind hearted, sensitive person who hates violence and will be kind even to commoners and admit his wrongs is real. this is the guy who made yona homemade soup himself when she got sick while he was dealing with work. who yona clearly saw was grieving kaashi. the man who decided to never marry again after kaashi died.

 he is someone mundeok believed in. yu-hon was happy that yon-hi saw the value Il had. and Il had to deal with being belittled by everyone and knowing no one wants him as king but he still carried himself with dignity. Il didn't brush aside that his brother killed many people in te kouka kingdom even though everyone else did and it would have been easy. and Il threw himself in fire to save even one person even though it was against his brothers choice. and Il had no reason to believe he'd get anything out of that. 

 I definitely don't want to say Il didn;t love kaashi. heck kaashi was the one to ask for the marriage because she wanted to have the red haired baby so even if it did start out with both Il and kaashi motivated to give birth to the reincarnation theres nothing inherently evil about that. though it would be a tradgedy if kaashi never realized that Il's care for her was genuine and not just about the baby. the dude never married again. but its definitely easy to want to judge Il from that he was bad all over and was in a loveless marriage cuz I'm angry at him.... but then it IS possible the marriage was more of a friendship than complete smitten love. considering that marriages being based on love is a fairly modern concept and before it was about companionship, politics or just making babies.

 I just wonder if Il felt guilt and responsible for what happened to the priests. after all it was his own BROTHER who killed them all and tried to kill kaashi. the head priest only found out about yon-hi because Il was excited to get yon-hi accepted and approved by the church(because the church is intertwined with royalty and it would help her to have one less thing for people to judge her on and it could have been used to get his brother to start fixing the relationship he has with the priests since they should have been working closely in the future).

 If il hadn't taken her than they wouldn't have found out her identity(or at least it might have taken longer because kaashi might have taken her) and then they wouldn't have visited her family which triggered the massacure. Il could very well blame himself especially if it was the first taste of how brutal and merciless his brother could be and that Il was spared from death and just told not to tell anyone yon-hi's secert. How would you feel being married to someone who your brother tried to kill? that she has to hide her identity. she has a giant burn. she mght get targeted if she gets found out by your brother and you knows she doesnt love you. like I'd almost wonder if Il married her as a way to take responsibility. 

kaashi clearly looks traumatized from the incident compared to her original cheerful self. yona we know has felt guilt and bad for the affects her her father being a weak king and felt some responsibility for what her uncle did. it would be interesting if Il felt the same way in regards to his brother. 

 I'm just curious about yu-hon's wish to take over the entire contient. conquer the other countries. lik regaining the strength to stay their own kingdom is good and regain lands they lost makes sense. to maybe get stronger to protect themselves from possible attack makes sense fr future soo-won. but finding out yu-hon might have wanted to take over everything hits odd since we've seen how to feels to be invaded by kulbo before.

 and  how the 2 princess sisters' country felt like with the threat of soo-won coming to battle them. It does have me wondering that if soo-won increases the borders of the country with the dragons be able to stay strong even when they are outside the normal borders? 

gots really interestin to see you react impressed with wise soo-won. most people i've seenreact to it get the heebie jeebies. on one hand soo-won is smart like his dad. on the other his dad is the type of man who set people on fire, and killed woman, children and cut off heads and alot of problems could have been avoided if yu-hon hadn't killed all the priests and thought of a non set people of fire solution. like if everyone agreed the priests over stepped there must have been other options. like askingyon-hi and her parents what they waned to do rather than deciding on his own. 

 yu-hon seems like a normal guy who is likable and who we can support and then you remember he killed people in cold blood before. sure he had reasons but yu-hon was unaffected and unapologetic. so soo-won being super smart is great but it feels unnatural for a child to seperate his emotions like that. though admittedly we know he does have vivid personal rage from his expression there. and we saw when he did actually murder king Il that soo-won talked about waiting years for that day and hisface was cold and unfeeling and soo-won was prepared to catch yona and kill her for real. so his rage feelings are vivid and real. even if he acts cool and collected. and he did assume his mom would want Il to die as well. not considering the answer might be different. and he has been trying to act strong for his mom even though he is only nine.

 though as impressing as soo-won is I am enraged because all those guys and men told Soo-won a NINE year old about his father being murdered and let soo-won dig up his fathers grave to check if the wound matched even though kyke-sook could have reported the wound and story before yu-hon was buried. like they didn't tel yon-hi. the adult and wife of yu-hon. they told a CHILD and got him involved on figuring out if the information was true.

 like its great soo-won can keephis head and impression them with his composure but why type of people are they for getting soo-won involved with checking his dads corpse. even if its smarter because soo-won would be less likly to get in trouble for desecrating the grave... whose bright idea was to let him get involved?! O.O soo-won is impressive but there is something unnatural about how easy it is for him to dismiss how yona will be affected if he kills Il. 

Yon-hi was trying o get soo-won to realizing killing Il wasnt the answer by bringing up yona as a motivation to not kill Il like how regular people would react but soo-won brushed it as two different matters entirely. and yon-hi didn't know gow to tell him she didn't want the cycle of violence to continue. we definitly know soo-won's hatred was real as he did choose the killing route rather than kidnapping him or getting him to stand down. and it seems none of the people realized marrying yona was a real option. 

 theres a fascinating parallel because yona has been judging soo-won as the king because he murdered her dad and she has deemed him a good king so she shouldn't interfere with him. in the end Il didn't pass as a good king, soo-won judged and killed him. to soo-won's credit he did wait to see how il would be as king unil he realized if il was allowed to carry on for any longer thy would be too vulnerable to be attacked. hedid give king Il a chance even if that chance was king of rigged because Il wasnt really supported and given advice by others who werent complaining about the polices. the firetribe was out of touch with the peoples struggles for a while for example. 

but even yon-hi knew il needed real help to be a good king. he no longer had yu-hon. kaashi was gone. people who would at least try for him. but on the other hand soo-won did still choose to kill Il on yona's 16th birthday. soo-won had found out yona has feelings for soo-won the day before the murder where he actually got flustered and affected enough to admit he probably couldn't sleep by her side lik he did before after her confession.

 he gave her a beautiful hair pin. complimenting her hair. smiling sweetly at her. and being told about the trust hak has in him as well. and soo-won still killed the dad on her birthday. infront of her. and then was prepared to following kyke-sook's advice to kill yona. compartmentalizing can be okay since thats how he's coping....but theres something scary about it. that yon-hi getting freaked out how dispassionate soo-won was to the fact if soo-won kills il one day it will be yona who will be in pain even though she is a close friend. something that would at least slow people down to hesitate.

 I wonder if soo-won focused on being in business mode and handling the situation instead of letting himself feel. Did you realize that soo-won saying Il and yona are separate matters is a echo of a similar quote from someone else saying the same thing? I wonder about soo-won promises. he tells his mom that he'll replace yu-hon. but soo-won told yona before that he would be a replacement for kaashi/her mother. 

 I've realized that soo-won has a serenity that Il has. Il has a bubbly surface that can be hard to read like the earthtribe noticed when soo-won visited that time. soo-won was able to show those fangs under his own bubbly gentle exterior and have them noticed and respected. I wonder if people just hadn't noticed Il's fangs. soo-won is using his to bring out others strengths in the kingdom to prepare for war. 

I wonder if Il had fangs with his firmness against war and weapons and stuff and people just hadn;t noticed because Il doesn't break his bubbly self often and its not what they see as being better for them. like soo-won's able to win them over by appearing to the want to fight and goods to sell. love your reaction XD It gives so many more layers to interpret the first volume and the stuff il has said when you have this new context. 

[river-mp-song]

Just A Dumb Rant About My Life and Problems

There are so many things wrong with my life. I feel so stuck in the circumstances that I’m in. People have told me to simply get out of it/them but it’s not that simple. 

What don’t people fucking get about having an abdominal problem that makes you unable to eat for days and vomit constantly or being unable to sleep or drink water because of it? I quite literally am on a pain scale of 8-9 on a GOOD day. That’s not including having severe fibromyalgia and being in constant pain. I suffer from cluster migraines multiple times weekly which calls for many ER visits so they don’t become dangerous. Plus I have a cyst on my ovary which FUCKING SUCKS if you don’t know and to top off the copious amount of physical health problems I have that haven’t mentioned, I have developed kidney stones which adds to the not eating and vomiting and stomach pain. Yay, fun. Oh, and seizures, but that’s mental and we’ll get to that last.

Now, I just started taking Microeconomics. I need this to 1. Save my relationship with my father and little brother (which I will come back to) 2. Get my High School Diploma and 3. Get my Associate’s Degree. 1 and 2 are related and 3 is all for me. All of these should be for me but alas, no. My life was not meant for me to live. 

Here’s a little background: My dad wasn’t the best or even the okayest dad growing up. In fact, I resented him so much. He abused me, my younger brother, and my mom. I stole money from him as a revenge. Even though I admitted it and have tried to repay some of it, my parents got divorced a year after I was supposed to graduate, and the year my brother went into High School. He took my brother one day and just left.(2010-11) He left me with my mom. (She had a fall at work and had multiple surgeries in her shoulders and knees rendering her disabled.) I don’t even remember if he told me he loved me. I just remember him taking my brother and crying as he walked out the front door to the house we lost shortly after. I lost my family, and it was all my fault. My mom ended up becoming more depressed than she already was. She lost her son. I lost half of my family. Fast forward 5 years (2015) and he finally lets me back in his life but it’s conditional and my brother now thinks exactly like my dad. It’s terrifying. I hate myself to this day because it’s my fault they divorced, my fault my family fell apart, my fault that I couldn’t stop this, my fault that I failed my family. Anyways, back to the always-fun microeconomics and why I told you this dumb story.

I took AP Economics in High School. I’m not a bad student. I’m actually quite smart and end up helping people. However, in High School, I had a shit teacher, who ONLY spoke about current events, NEVER had tests, NEVER had homework. I missed a week of school towards the end of my SENIOR YEAR due to being hospitalized for a bad cluster migraine. I came back and she told me that I missed not one, not two, but THIRTY FUCKING TWO ASSIGNMENTS and NO I was not allowed to have them. I then went to the Dean, again she refused to give the (non-existent) assignments, then called in my parents, at which point she said she would but never did and failed me at the end which caused me to never officially graduate High School. Now I’m taking courses in college and passing with Honors and being on the Dean’s list with the exception of two semesters as I’ve taken this course twice (dropped the first time [online honors course] and dropped by the teacher the 2nd for missing a midterm due to having a seizure on campus and taken to an ER). 

MICROECONOMICS: The course I need to obtain my degree in Automotive and also my High School Diploma (NOT MY G.E.D.). It’s also the course I need to keep my Dad and brother in my life for good or lose them forever. He gave me an ultimatum. I have to pass this course or he is done with me. He will never speak to me again. Which mean my brother won’t, my Uncle won’t (whom I love very much and he already doesn’t talk to me and it breaks my heart), and the rest of my dad’s side of the family won’t. I will genuinely lose half of my family if I fail this 5-week course. I am so scared of losing them even if it’s a shitty relationship and I don’t see them often, maybe once every couple months despite them being a few blocks from me. My heart hurts.. I immediately start shaking as soon as I enter the classroom. I honestly don’t understand Econ and it’s my HS teachers’ fault. She never taught so I don’t get it. I’ve tried so hard with no avail. 

My mental health has been just fucked the hell up lately. I was diagnosed with severe/chronic depression when I was ten. Then I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 12 (later turned into severe/chronic anxiety when I was 13) and chronic bipolar when I was 14. I developed seizures from taking Tramadol and now I only get seizures when I have a panic attack. Now, I really don’t care if I get backlash for this part because if you are the type of person to say ANYTHING AT ALL NEGATIVE TO ME FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS, YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF, but I was raped twice within a year near the neighborhood we moved to recently by different people. (Yes, I filed a report. Yes, I spoke to a police sketch artist. Yes, I went to the hospital and had a rape kit done. Yes, I followed up. No, neither were caught.) Now I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have attempted suicide 4 times. Once landed me in a coma. I’ve been institutionalized multiple times. Every time helped a little bit. The most recent time helped the most but I fear I’m backtracking. 

I don’t have a lot of friends but I have a group of close ones. I smile and laugh a lot but majority of the time it’s fake. I used to show when I was going through something but not anymore. I used to talk to my friends about what’s going on, but not anymore. I’m afraid I’m bothering them. I feel so alone. So empty. I have a tendency as of late, to get very real and show how I’m feeling and immediately change the subject like what I just said didn’t happen. It confuses the other person to the point where they forget what I had said and they move on. I don’t really have any best friends. I have one person I may call my best friend but she isn’t. I know I’m kidding myself. I don’t have a best friend. She really used to be, but she moved away in middle school. We’ve kept in touch and when she comes out, she’s my best friend, but otherwise, we’re strangers. I’m the only one in my group who doesn’t have someone to confide in. I can’t trust anyone to keep what I tell them in confidence. I feel like I’m dying inside. I’m losing my will to live, to go on. I want to. I want my dreams to come true. I want someone to read this and tell me it will be okay but I know it won’t happen. Anyways, there was a reason I was talking about my mental health, physical health, microeconomics, and my family, so here goes.

The first day in Micro, I had a panic attack because I couldn’t comprehend the word problems. I started shaking and panicking. After a few minutes of trying to graph the supply and demand curves and failing, I start to silently cry. I had to step out because I started going numb. (I have an aura before my seizures and this felt like it). I sat down outside and cried while trying to catch my breath. A woman stopped, asked if I was okay and I told her I was just having a hard time in Economics, that I was just trying to get my bindings, and she gave me a pep talk and hug. I went back in and at the end of class, spoke to the Professor and he said he’d help me. Today, walking into class, I immediately got tingling in my face, shaking in my hands, hard time breathing, but it was a little easier. My dad hasn’t called. I should expect as much.

My health is preventing so much of my life from being lived. The pain prevents me from actually doing the things I love; from excelling at the things I’m good at. Both my physical and mental states are seemingly deteriorating despite how hard I’m trying. I keep telling myself You’re trying, you’re doing your best, it’s okay. But it’s not. I’m seeing doctors and surgeons, I’m going to school to get a good job to save up and move out on my own and have my own life. But I don’t have a job right now. I can’t get one because if I divert any attention from this economics course and not pass, I lose my family again and permanently and I can’t have that...I can’t lose anyone else. So in the meantime, I’ve focused on my health, which makes my dad upset because I don’t a job to him back. I don’t have a job to pay for anything. “I just have to get through the next 5 weeks,” I say to myself, “Maybe he’ll love you more if you get you High School Diploma, maybe you be a failure to him.” I literally do not have a drivers license because the courts temporarily revoked it due to my seizures. I CANNOT DRIVE. BY LAW.  My ENTIRE FUTURE is in Automotive. No dealership will take me like this. This is all I’ve been working for. I’ve been watching all year as everything I’ve been working for gets taken from me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

People keep telling to me to get out of my “situation” but my “situation” is complicated...and unfair...and lonely. I don’t have support keeping me going. I have anger, resentment, contempt, and fake smiles and laughter from all sides. I feel like everyone is here to point fingers and wants to tell me what to do but hasn’t been in my situation or a situation similar. I cannot get an income, I cannot work without risking people that I love, so now I get to watch my dreams go further and further into the distance until it disappears. maybe I should just disappear.

I’ve been crying as I type up this whole dumb post. This whole thing is dumb. I’m  dumb. I don’t have friends, and if I do, and I introduce them to literally anyone else, they hang out with them and I’m left out permanently. I have to lie to myself and tell myself that I have friends. Does anyone know how sad that is? To be surrounded by people you know and know that none of them are really your friends? That you can’t just hit them up and hang out and talk and confide in them and have movie nights and go on adventures together.

I don’t have friends. I keep asking myself what I can do to fix this.  What am I doing wrong? Am I too loud? Too quiet? Do I talk too much? Do I get excited too easily? Do I not talk enough? Am I boring? What’s wrong with me that people always leave me? I’m told I’m “too much” almost everyday by someone who says they love me. Am I “too much”?  How do I fix me so I’m acceptable for love? Do I just not deserve it? Am I that undeserving?

I guess so.