#The way i choked on my food....
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NOT THE PEETA MELLARK "IF IT WASNT FOR THE BABY" MOVE
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*clenches teeth and fists* it's fine no one comments on how Dorian is more "lithe" than before. It's fine that he's not "nearly as bulky". It's fine that he doesn't sleep well then has to wake up just to be the sunny optimist the next day. It's fine that his strings are wound so tight that he's ready to snap.
It's fine that Dorian's health is being ignored. He's the new guy, right? Fresh faced? Not burdened by the trauma of the last few months, right?
#silver sending stones#cr 3 e 104#its been bothering me for 10 episodes#dorian storm#tw body image#tw disordered eating#the way he casually talks about being “lithe” less “bulky”#those are very nice words for weight loss#it makes me sad#ot makes my heart hurt#because rations and regular fights kept him at the same weight through exu and e 1-10#its the stress that came from baby sitting his brother#it reminds me of when i wasnt eating and everyone just told me how good i looked#like i dont think we've had a sit down and eat moment since dorian came back but ill be watching like a hawk#he started choking on the cookie...#sigh#i just want dorian and orym to be happy and healthy and well fed#the way orym talks about food also freaks me out#“i only eat protein”#and like we've seen him eat other things so like its okay#but the constant working out is a little 😬#orym and dorian are going to retire to zephra and theyre going to get soft and live peaceful lives#theyre both going to just let their bodies rest
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Too Much Tea
#im having one of my classic colds where my sinuses try desperately to become fully obstructed and develop Eternal Bacterial Sinusitis#and the best way to deal with it is to just keep pouring hot liquids on and/or through my face#but. it is too hot to take more than a couple hot showers a day#and i am Growing Weary of Tea#tea is fine! i have a niceish jasmine green that's heavy on the jasmine and it's not getting less pleasant over time#but i do feel. bored.#next time i get hungry i'll switch to instant ramen with extra broth but for the moment it's just Tea Forever#and because im a moron i didnt think to get lemons and i dont really want to go helpfully distribute virus to everyone in the whole foods#and/or try to keep it together while attempting to mouthbreathe through a mask and having respiratory infection suffocation flashbacks#so i will have to wait until 🌸 gets back to switch to various honey-and-lemon/tea combinations#titrated assortedly. for interest.#box opener#like this works. i can actually breath through my nose rn. it's functioning. but im bored#id like to take a half hour break from tea but i Will start choking again if i do that. so here we are
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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Hahaha ngl me hearty-- but seeing uncle Jello eating the onigiri Portal Chaos Ronin gave him in the latest propaganda had me smiling <33 Rooting for ya omigosh!! :0 (also these design sneak peeks are banger and I have just started catching up to the story itself!)
Hahaha ngl me hearty-- but seeing uncle Jello eating the onigiri Portal Chaos Ronin gave him in the latest propaganda had me smiling <33 Rooting for ya omigosh!! :0 (also thesedesign sneak peeks are banger and I have just started catching up to the story itself!)
ofccc that pizza onigiri is literally the ONLY THING keeping him from leaving LMAO. i think once ronin got out of his glue trap (laughed myself to death with ur post btw) their interaction would go smth like this
#the way i CHOKED when i saw this ask#i was like NO WAY IS THAT CHAOS PORTAL RONIN BACK THE HELL UP#anyway im normal i swear#but yeah now uncle jello be carrying those onigiri with him EVERYWHERE i think he is obsessed#how to tame wild old man 101 step 1: food#ronin had it DOWN#tltc#too lucky to count#portal chaos#this ask made my day#tmnt#rottmnt#ronin mikey#future michelangelo#kk i’m done#ok goodbye im ab to spend the rest of my night obsessing over this fantastic ronin au see u all never <3 <3
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Me causally watching the latest episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty while I work. NOT EXPECTING Gavin to grab Lola’s neck like that when they kissed. SIR THIS IS PG-13. Gavin really leaning into Jeremiah’s character.
#it’s actually tv-14 I ran to google#thankfully I had nothing on my fucking mouth to choke in my on for once#WATER PEOPLE#or like food#the way I need this gifed though so I can show b#kie.tv#spoilers#tsitp#the summer i turned pretty#belly conklin#jeremiah fisher
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ugh, idk if its because im autistic, or because im having stomach problems that makes it hella hard to eat lately (its both), but i just really wish i was like. a robot or something. Like a sentient one with emotions or whatever, but stoic in design and i wouldnt have to STRUGGLE TO EAT!!!!!
#if i could i would be shaking my stomach and choking it rn#like UGHHHH#I CANT EVEN EAT MY FAVOURITE FOODS#EATING EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS WAY TOO OFTEN#rambles#bleeeehhh
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i don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that
#not the way I almost choked on my food#PETRA. STOP IT.#ahahahahahahahaha#I’m crying#foo fighters#grohlkins#taylor hawkins#dave grohl#2006#in your honor era#I’ve never heard the full clip before I can’t believe I found this#THIS is why my video is taking so long to make bexause I am going through hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours#of footage. and bootlegs. and audios. and everything I can get my hands on#audio#video#shitposts
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We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛
#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by#i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time#i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime#i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone#dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that#but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this#an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill#he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week#maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him#but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out#I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die#i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them#mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here#and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one#idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out#but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for#the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids#anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you#mr. bees speaks
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i legitimately almost died choking the other day and thankfully my mom was home to help me but i can't stop thinking about the alternate universe me who was home alone and probably died
#it was so scary like ive had food stuck in my throat before this was legit choking#i couldnt talk or yell for help or breath or do anything#i hope i never experience that again bc it was truly awful#i had a panic attack afterwards bc i was so freaked out#man... i would have died young and unaccomplished and unemployed and never having done much anything with my life#but anyways. *continues living the exact same way as before*#diary 🦋💭
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I really don’t want to go to my grandpa’s birthday party on Saturday and I kept joking to my mom about faking sick to get out of it and my karma is that my allergies are extremely bad and I’m so tired and my joints ache and I can’t tell if it’s a chronic illness flare or if I’m actually getting sick and I know if I mention it to my parents they’re going to think I’m faking🧍♀️
#my nose is so messed up and is constantly running#I couldn’t even eat full mouthfuls of food before my allergy meds kicked in because I kept think I would choke from not being able to#breathe through my nose and I’ve been waking up in the night in a way that makes me think I’m not breathing as well as I should be so 🧍♀️#autumn rambles
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was anyone gonna tell me that the cast of The Seven are like, roleplaying goddesses or was i supposed to find that out on my own a few days ago?
#dimension 20#the seven maidens#like ngl I still hold a lot of love in my heart for the typical D20 cast but#but like objectively THIS cast are like naturals they're like#actually playing into their characters flaws in such an authentic way i am in awe#the 2nd episode is so funny laughing at their jokes/acting is the closest ive ever come to choking and dying on food fr
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I'M TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THIS.
#I ALMOST CHOKE ON MY FOOD WHAT THE RGUCKJ KSISLSODIKFD#LOOK AT TAYLOR SMILING HES ALWAYS LIKE THIS :| I#IM GOING TO PASS OUT#my chemical romance#paramore#hayley williams#taylor york#zac farro#gerard way#mikey way#frank iero#ray toro#mcr
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Also fuck long covid bc I absolutely cannot eat bone in chicken anymore aside from chicken wings, and even boneless skinless chicken breasts/tenders are a fucking gamble
Like what the fuck
#im already on a limited diet and it's like okay well now the only meat you can tolerate are cured pork and regular beef (:#like the texture and taste make me wanna yarf and it's so embarrassing to be somewhere like a party and all they have is fried chicken#bc to everyone else its like hell yeah fried chicken! but im like... k great it's gonna take all my mental and emotional energy to force#myself to even eat half... cool#especially since i cant tolerate mayo based shit so side dishes are out mostly and i sit there with a plate full of chips like :|#like 'its not personal [host] i just cant eat anything bc food sensitivities/allergies/long covid and autism fucking me up all at once'#marquilla#if i eat chicken it has to be bone fucking dry lmao like i wish i was kidding but that's one of the only ways i can tolerate it#one time i almost choked on dry ass chicken sggdgdgd then i recovered and kept eating like dont worry its good!
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rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee
#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything#i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see#the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny#oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT#the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee#IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which#i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out#ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny#eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt#idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works#but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc#WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever#eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously#OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh#stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive#u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him#he cld have used his position to make a positive impact#but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away#orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts#been there one billion million times. so painful#interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine#he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested#not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much#like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck#the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta#and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways#but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm
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there is a pill stuck in the base of my throat and drinking and eating have not dislodged it and I can feel it dissolving and burning and I am PANIC
#i usually have trouble swallowing right after botox shots#for like a week or two#choke on food a lot and everything#but this time its like way way worse#not sure if my muscle tightness has gotten that much better that this time the normal amount of botox was too much#or if my doctor just accidentally hit a weird spot#which i kinda doubt ive never had a problem like this with him in ten years#anyway its weird and im stressed#botox treatment#dystonia
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