#This is a recurring theme in media and it's starting to feel like a desperate cry for help

[whisperingrockandroll]

Some people ask me "why are you so obsessed with the Mystery Kids' franchises?" and truth be told I think something just hits me about stories where children are tasked with repairing the multi-generational damage caused by their elders.

[wolfnanaki]

Player Agency and the End of the World

Goodbye Volcano High begins in a fascinating way. You start in media res, with a group of teenagers gathered around a bonfire on the beach. The point-of-view character, Fang, is holding a yearbook, and the others are discussing whether or not the book should be burnt. The player is then presented with two choices: “Hold on” and “Let go”. Once the choice is made, the game sends the story back eight months ago.

On the surface, it seems to be a smart way to communicate the player’s amount of agency in the choices they can make. There’s a suggestion that you have so much agency that even before the story has properly begun, you can change a huge, important outcome for which the context will be revealed to you at a later, triumphant moment. When that choice, and all the ones you made before, finally come into play.

And then the rest of the game brilliantly destroys that illusion of control.

One of the biggest criticisms Goodbye Volcano High has faced since launch is that there’s only one ending, and therefore, none of the choices the player makes matter. Despite most games only having one ending anyway, there’s a different expectation when it comes to choice-based narrative games. The player’s choices must be so impactful, so game-changing that there can be multiple endings based on them.

It's a genre standard when it comes to visual novels, dating sims, and the like. And it feels like Goodbye Volcano High is being seen and critiqued as a visual novel, despite developers KO_OP never claiming it to be one. This is a cinematic narrative game. The goals and gameplay are entirely different. You wouldn’t expect a cinematic game to follow the conventions of a visual novel any more than you would demand a car to be more like a mountain bike.

There’s a recurring theme in Goodbye Volcano High’s narrative about learning to let go. It’s a story about teenagers having their futures being robbed from them in real time because of circumstances well beyond their control. But the theme also comes up with Fang’s relationship with their best friend Trish, where Fang desperately tries to hold on to Trish when she’s trying to move on from the band to pursue her goal of being an entomologist.

As Fang, you can make many choices to improve your relationship with Trish. Favor her at every opportunity you can over everyone else, save Mango when she gets lost at school, play L&L with her and show how well you two work together, take on more burdens in the band so she doesn’t have to work so hard. Anything, everything to make sure Trish stays close.

None of this can change the outcome. Trish will still want to take a break from the band. And no matter how close or how distant the two are at the time, Fang will still take it poorly. Just like the asteroid ending the dinosaurs, this is an outcome the player can’t change.

Yet, the player does have agency.

Almost every choice the player makes affects the characters’ relationship with Fang, as measured by the game’s Affinity chart. It’s pulled up every time the player pauses the game, and visually shows how close each character is, emotionally, to Fang. They orbit an icon of Fang’s face, and the closer they orbit to Fang, the stronger their connection is. How close they are impacts many game-related unlocks, including flashbacks and photos, that you’d otherwise miss if you failed to foster certain relationships enough.

More vitally, the player’s choices can unlock different secret scenes throughout the game. Choosing to take Sage’s ambitions for being a chef seriously gives him the confidence to open up to Fang about his struggles with transitioning. Choosing to apologize to Naser for lashing out at him causes him to later come backstage at Battle of the Bands to give Fang some encouraging words. Choosing to sit with Rosa and Trish at the auditorium causes Rosa to meet up with Fang at their locker and engage in kind small-talk, showing Fang that she’s not trying to sabotage Fang and Trish’s friendship. These moments are all over, and they’re rewarding, as they give bigger context for who these characters are and what they see in each other.

Who Fang is closest to also changes who they can talk to after the bonfire argument in episode seven. It’s the final chance for the player to get some closure for each character, after everything they’ve been through and what they’re about to go through.

The choices matter to the characters, not to the player.

And finally, the player’s first choice comes back into play. If the player chose to “Let go”, they will see Fang drop the book into the fire. But if they chose “Hold on”, Fang will hesitate, and someone (either Trish, Naomi, or Naser) will encourage them to go through with it. No matter what you chose at the start, the book is burnt.

You can’t change the book’s fate any more than you can change the dinosaurs’ fate.

You can’t save them any more than they could have saved themselves.

The best you can do is bring them happiness and something that feels like closure before the end.

The choices mean nothing, yet mean everything.

So, if you felt that loss of control at this point, like nothing matters… congratulations, that’s exactly how the characters felt too. You are experiencing ART.

This, I think, is why tragedy stories need to be told more, especially in games. We live in an era where happy endings aren’t just expected, but demanded. “You can’t hurt or kill these characters! I love them too much!” Stories where beloved characters suffer, die, or otherwise don’t end up with a happy ending often lead to discontent and the creators receiving backlash.

And it’s frustrating to me as an aspiring writer and critic. If creatives aren’t allowed to tell all the kinds of stories they want, tragic or otherwise, then we leave it in the hands of corporate content mills to feed us bland, milquetoast stories where things pan out exactly as we expect them to with cheap fanservice (hello, comic book movies). As an audience, we are left unchallenged. It’s strange because people call out that kind of shallow media for what it is and demand better, but bristle at stories that go the distance. It’s like how people say they’re tired of cute, passive women in games and want them to be more assertive, but freak out when Princess Peach gets a slightly more determined expression on some box art.

This is why I think we need to make more games that push against preconceived notions. Goodbye Volcano High, at least from my perspective, shows the kind of stories that games can – and maybe should – be telling more, using the medium of the genre to invoke feelings you wouldn’t get by just watching someone else play it. If you’ve only experienced this game through YouTube clips or streams, I implore you to try it for yourself. It’s a very different experience, and I think a worthwhile one.

And also: I wouldn't want to live in a world where the asteroid misses depending on how nice Fang is to everyone. Imagine the discourse.

[lance-space-mommy]

Best Friends Make the Best Lovers

Relationships were hard. Midoriya knew that the moment he was born. His father was absent before Midoriya was old enough to form a memory he could recollect of the man. Midoriya had a bad start, to say the least. He never gave up hope when it came to his father's return, but when he had someone as kind as Masaru Bakugo in his life, Father's Day didn’t feel as empty.

When things get good, Midoriya had to be prepared to lose it all. He lost everyone as soon as things were good. It was a recurring theme. When Midoriya turned four years old and no quirk arrived when he was nearing five years old, he was diagnosed quirkless. All of his friends, the remaining family he knew, all adults who were in his life, and the Bakugo family were gone faster than his father.

Things were less than good. Despite those that bully him and treated him like the scum of the earth, he had the unconditional love of his mother. Quirklessness was seen as this contagious disease, at least that is how people spoke about quirkless people. Midoriya got used to the feeling of being avoided and he became accustomed to humiliation.

As if the world was giving him a solid, Midoriya fell in love at the prime age of thirteen. He had been on those “talk with strangers” websites where you video-called random people. After many failed attempts, someone finally came along and appeared to be the missing piece he was desperately searching for.

This mystery person's name was Hayabusa Teru. He had beautiful electric pink eyes and his hair was a cotton candy blue. He seemed so amazed by meeting a quirkless person that he didn’t think twice about exchanging numbers. After all, quirkless people were rare.

After they took their conversation elsewhere, they got to know one another more. Teru was fourteen, about 13 months older than Midoriya. Neither minded, it kept things interesting and it was expected. There was something so exciting about meeting someone near your age that seemed like a genuine person.

Teru lived about thirty minutes away from Midoriya. Midoriya figured that was the case as he put on the setting “people near me”. The two clicked instantly. They’d continue to video call, text, and occasionally hang out.

Their friendship was strong and seemed unbreakable. That lasted for half a year before they started dating. A year later while Midoriya was sitting in class, he felt his phone buzz. Opening his phone he saw no notification so he let it rest.

What Midoriya didn’t know was that Teru had blocked him on all forms of social media. Midoriya was defeated. He gave up. Not even a week later, Bakugo told him to kill himself and he got turned down by his idol. Midoriya believed things couldn’t get worse, and surprisingly things didn’t.

Midoriya grabbed the attention of All Might and earned the quirk of ultimate power. It seemed that one person was enough to turn his entire world upside down.

Midoriya was now training and eating healthier. His mother was finally getting into the groove of things as Midoriya was finally pushing forward again and working on himself. As if things couldn’t have gotten better, Midoriya passed the entrance exam and got into UA. Midoriya was achieving his dream and focusing on himself for once.

Being a UA student, of course, was no cakewalk and it didn’t go without flaw, but Midoriya made it. Almost instantly, Midoriya fit right into the new setting. Midoriya made friends, was socializing, and had adults in his life that actually cared. Even better, he finally had father figures in his life that were a million times better than the one he gave up on.

Despite everyone seeming to go perfectly, there was something that had been bugging Midoriya. That was love. Midoriya found himself surrounded by amazing people that made him feel amazing. Part of him tried to shut out the idea of romance. He didn’t think he had the right to entertain the idea of a relationship when he needed to put all his focus into becoming the best hero.

No matter how hard he tried to focus solely on hero work and friendships, his heart was too big. He couldn’t help but be with his close group of friends and feel flustered half of the time their attention was on him. Hell, a large portion of his classmates managed to find a way to fluster him.

Iida was well-built, tall, respectful, and really fun to be around. He was protective, realistic, and probably Midoriya’s closest friend. Iida was very animated and was a whole show to Midoriya. Midoriya wanted to melt at the very thought of dating him.

Uraraka was beautiful. She moved with grace and radiated so much power with her determination that it left Midoriya breathless. She was determined to be a powerful her and support her family. She was smart, kind, extremely considerate, and inspiring. She got him all sorts of disheveled when she had him going.

Todoroki was perfection. He doesn’t understand social cues, making him awkward and intimidating. That meant Todoroki was always fluctuating between cute and hot. The two had been through a lot together, mentally and physically. Midoriya admired Todoroki and his development. Todoroki was a very caring person. Midoriya longed to be held in the warm yet cold touch of his best friend.

Then there was Kirishima, Kaminari, Bakugo, Sero, Momo, and Aoyama, and don’t even get him started on those outside of his class. They all had their own unique traits and were very entertaining. They all trusted his intuition and were fun to be around.

For a bit, he thought Monoma was fair game. It would take some work, but Midoriya was willing to put in the effort. The Monoma open his mouth during their joint training and Midoriya didn’t think he’d ever forgive Monoma for saying something so cruel about Bakugo.

Little did Midoriya know, that everyone he was interested in was absolutely head over heels for him. Bakugo would never admit to it, ever, but it was true. They all craved to see Midoriya blush. They all watched him carry on through the day with a relaxed smile. It brought them joy.

Aizawa seemed to have gotten a private message from Nezu as he checked his phone from his sleeping bag. Irritated about his nap being disturbed, he glared at his phone.

“Problem Child. You have a visitor,” announced Aizawa tiredly.

Midoriya raised a brow, confused as to who could be visiting. “Where do I go? Who is it?”

“I don’t know kid. I guess just go to Nezu’s office,” guessed Aizawa, immediately going back to slumber.

Midoriya checked the time and decided to leave his stuff in class. There were still about twenty minutes left and the visit shouldn’t be anything too major. Before he could even get out of his seat there was a knock on the door.

Iida jumped up, claiming his role as class representative. “I shall see who it is as Mister Aizawa is asleep!”

Midoriya smiled, getting up himself. “Well, I have to go anyways, Iida. You should’ve let me do it.”

“Oh! I didn’t realize that. Well, I’m already up so let me hold the door open for you!” offered Iida proudly as he reached for the handle.

Pulling open the door, Midoriya happily stood next to Iida. Looking directly at the person who had knocked, Midoriya felt like the air was knocked out of him.

Vibrant pink eyes. Cotton candy blue hair.

Midoriya felt his eyes widen, staring at the person who had ghosted him well over a year ago.

“Teru?”

The entire class felt their eyes widen that Midoriya knew the handsome teen. The boy looked down at Midoriya with an excited face.

“Izuku?”

The class found themselves fully invested the moment Midoriya’s first name was used.

Midoriya looked at the boy for a second longer before his shoulders sank a bit. “Glad to know you’re alive. Anyways I have a visitor to meet.”

“Izuku, I’m the visitor!” cheered Teru happily, looking at Midoriya for a response.

Midoriya seemed to close himself off. Taking a step back and crossing his arms, Midoriya grew suspicious. “How’d you find me?”

“I went to surprise you at your home but when I got there your mom said you stayed at the dorms in UA. So here I am,” explained Teru quickly.

Midoriya was not satisfied. Honestly, Midoriya was pissed, beyond pissed. What right did Teru have to come back a year after ghosting him only to act like they never stopped talking in the first place? Teru wasn’t going to get what he wanted. Midoriya was not going to give him what he wanted.

“You better have a good explanation as to why you suddenly want to surprise me,” demanded Midoriya, giving Teru a warning with irritation laced in his voice.

The rest of the group grew uneasy. Midoriya was almost never angry when it came to people. Majority of the time he’s angry when fighting a villain or when someone is messing with the people he cares about. This was different. This was very, very different.

Teru seemed surprised by the reaction, nervous himself. “What are you talking about Izuku? Can’t your boyfriend surprise you?”

Iida felt his glasses slip down his nose a bit as his jaw dropped. Tsuyu and Uraraka exchanged a glance, mortified at the reality of Midoriya having had a boyfriend this entire time. Bakugo was blowing up a fuse while Todoroki was still trying to process the fact that Midoriya was in a relationship.

Momo was disappointed but more fearful of the fact she had flirted with someone already in a relationship. Kirishima ignored the pain of missing his chance while Kaminari wasn’t subtle with his exaggerated crying. Sero slammed his face on the desk defeatedly, angry that someone like Teru had got to Midoriya first. Aoyama frowned, a little hurt as he had gotten his hopes up.

Midoriya's scoffing snapped them all out of their self-pity. “I haven’t seen, let alone heard from you in a year. What about that makes you think we are still dating?”

The group all felt themselves perk up. Midoriya was single and the douchebag before them was making an idiot of himself.

“Izuku! I— I had to-,” stammered Teru, unsure of what lies to spit out.

Cutting Teru off, Midoriya coldly snapped, “Midoriya. You call me Midoriya now.”

Teru felt his eyes widen, looking at the group of students watching with wide eyes. Midoriya felt the group's stares and headed out the door.

“Hall. Now.”

Teru didn’t hesitate, preferring some privacy. Midoriya turned to face Teru, visibly upset.

“Where were you? What were you doing that was so important that you couldn’t contact me for over a year?” shouted Midoriya, hissing at the bastard.

Teru, not having an excuse, lied, “I broke my phone and I couldn’t get a new one and my mom was-.”

Midoriya cut off Teru again by smacking him hard across the face. Teru snapped his gaze right back to Midoriya, genuinely shocked by the hit that landed on him.

“Don’t you dare utter another lie to me? Who do you think I am?” yelled Midoriya in disbelief. The anger diminished and hurt refiled the void, his eyes searching Teru’s face, trying to find anything that signaled Teru actually cared.

Teru hesitated to reach out, slightly scared of being smacked again. “Okay, I’m sorry, but. Look... I just... I needed a break from everything, including you.”

Midoriya laughed at that, disgusted with the insensitivity of Teru. “You never once said any of this was a problem. Not once had you even tried to explain that something was wrong or you wanted a break. You didn’t have to fucking ghost me!”

“I know and I’m sorry. I really miss you and I’m back. I’m here to stay. Let’s do this,” pleaded Teru, taking Midoriya's hand as he whispered, “I really like you.”

Midoriya looked at Teru with a disturbed expression. He couldn’t understand why Teru was going out of his way to do this. His withdrawn body language should have said enough. Besides, Midoriya had clearly proved he is not one to be messed with and is skeptical of believing anything Teru was saying.

Midoriya was filled with many emotions from the out-of-blue confession. He was embarrassed, appalled, and a bit sympathetic. It was clear to say Midoriya was nauseated as he shook his head in a pleading manner. “Please don’t do this. I can’t.”

“Can’t what? I said I like you,” backtracked Teru, slightly panicking as the upcoming rejection was settling in.

“I don’t trust you. Let me go Teru,” confessed Midoriya, his eyes locking with Teru’s.

The two stood, looking at each other with faces of distaste. Teru let out a breath and narrowed his eyes. “You really became stuck up,” spat Teru.

Midoriya smiled with a dangerous glint in his eyes as he laughed at the insult. “And you became a delusional asshole.”

The taller boy stepped off, backing away. Teru had to remind himself that he was in U.A. High and he was pushing his limits with a student there. His best odds were with him biting his tongue. Midoriya looked at Teru for a moment more before opening the door to the classroom.

“Leave before I report you,” threatened Midoriya before stepping inside. He didn’t bother to turn around and spare Teru a glance. There were no pleasantries for Midoriya to send Teru off with.

The rest of the class had been in a circle, all of them mumbling about something. With Midoriya’s voice distracting them from their conversation, they all turned their heads to face Midoriya. It was clear the group was happy to see him return. The sight made Midoriya’s heart warm.

Midoriya grinned at the class, waving. “Sorry about him! I really don’t know why he suddenly showed up!”

Todoroki walked over, standing before his friend. “So that guy isn’t your boyfriend?”

“No, things ended between us over a year ago. Honestly, I hate that he pulled a stunt like that,” whined Midoriya, complaining.

Iida nodded, understanding the anger Midoriya must have felt upon seeing his ex. “So, why’d he come back?”

Midoriya had to think about it for a second, frowning. “Actually... I don’t know. He acted like we never broke up. Technically we never did, but he was the one who had ghosted me. I guess he got lonely, saw I was doing amazing, and expected me to be waiting for him to come back.”

Wishing she had beaten up the guy when she had a chance, Uraraka gasped, “He ghosted you? What a jerk!”

“How long were you even together?” questioned Tsuyu, irritated by the information as well.

“About a year,” answered Midoriya casually, looking up at the group that was shooting him questions.

“Wow! Talk about cowardly!” shouted Kaminari, looking at Midoriya in disbelief.

Momo nodded, resting a worried hand on Midoriya’s shoulder. “That must’ve been really rough for you Midoriya. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we are glad you handled things the way you did.”

Bakugo raised a crackling hand and scoffed, “I would’ve handled it better damn nerd.”

Midoriya couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone was so protective and concerned that it turned him into a beautiful shade of pink. He was honored to be surrounded by people that had his back. They validated the part of him that he was trying to heal. He was grateful for his classmates.

Everyone melted at the sight of Midoriya glowing before them. Midoriya was a gift. He had an energy about him that just filled everyone up. There was something amazing about the way Midoriya brought the best out of people.

Aizawa woke up to everyone just surrounding Midoriya, using all the time they could to be around him. Aizawa grinned and sunk deeper into his sleeping bag. He’d ask about the situation and fill Nezu in about banning the visitor. For now, he’d rest easy knowing his students had everything covered.

Midoriya ends up getting a pile of Valentine's Day cards from people in the school. Each card came with a special batch of chocolate, all having their own special flavor to them. Midoriya realized he didn’t have to worry about choosing someone to love. It would happen naturally.

Midoriya happily handed everyone he had a silly crush on a bag of chocolates. Each bag was unique to the receiver. Todoroki got peppermint chocolates. Bakugo got spicey chocolate. Uraraka got chocolate mochi. Kirishima got strawberry chocolate. Momo got matcha chocolate. It was safe to say the entire class was impressed with the tasty treat.

It would be a while till Midoriya got into a relationship. No matter when it happens or who it is he ends up being with, he knew that his friends would treat him no different and still cherish their time with him. They were truly amazing.

Guess I managed to get everything back I lost and more.

[lesbianfreyja]

Ok I’m genuinely curious… can you like explain Gaylors? It’s like usually even if I don’t get something I can see how people got there but that is not the case here. Like I’m coming from a biased place because I do not like her music and I can’t prove it but she gives me the vibe she would have bullied me in high school and I have a very low tolerance for White Feminism but like as a queer person on the queer internet I can’t not see stuff about it. Is it like they want her to be gay so they have a chance or is it like something they actually believe? Neither? Both?

ok i will try to answer this accessibly 🙏 without delving into her personal life and focusing more on lyrical analysis because it's more interesting <3 and less invasive & takes into account that there is always an element of storytelling to songwriting that will beget themes and so on, without always aligning directly with the truth because...it's a story <3

let's get into it!!

i'd like to start with how she repeatedly comes back to this hidden, forbidden love that she can't let anyone know about. this is a recurring theme on basically every album, and while some of it is because of the media attention and investigations on her & her relationships….

i know places that we can hide and they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

outside, they're pushing & shoving; everyone's up to something / you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

make sure nobody sees you leave, keep your hood up and your head down / that's the thing about illicit affairs

no deal, that 1950s shit they want from me / all they see is a one night or a wife / i just wanna stay in this lavender haze (a song she specifically said was about rumors she loathed, which as an interesting aside, the internet took to mean gaylors until the album came out)

some of it relies a little too heavily on the "this is something BAD/secret that CANNOT be discovered" with full religious imagery to boot

don't blame me, love made me crazy / lord, save me / i would fall from grace just to touch your face

they say i did something bad, then why's it feel so good?

your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand / i wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

i'm drunk in the back of the car and i cried like a baby coming home from the bar said i'm fine but it wasn't true i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you and i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate and i scream "for whatever it's worth, i love you; ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?"

there's her repeated instances of "writing from a man's perspective" i.e. betty, the man; which is interesting when in Dear Reader she refers to herself as "a fourth drink in my hand, these desperate prayers from a cursed man" & it's worth noting that this album leaned heavily on the grief of being unknowable to ANYONE and going home alone everyday, even when she....had a boyfriend but i digress because we're getting away from literary analysis. it's worth nothing that evermore also included ivy, which is about how one of the bronte sisters stole their brother's wife

interestingly, she also capitalizes certain letters in the songbooks sent out with physical CDs. some fun ones to note include WHEN I SAW YOU IN HYIANNIS PORT (specifically spelled incorrectly to match the letters of dianna agrons name; dianna also had an alice in wonderland tattoo on her ribs that she got lasered off after Wonderland was released). there are other, similar instances of this.

then there's the things that just plain...don't sound like they're about a man because of the words she uses. not a trump card, but certainly an interesting cherry on top

you're so gorgeous, i can't say anything to your face

i used to switch out these kens, i'd just ghost / it hits different 'cos its you

the lips i used to call home so scarlet it was maroon

hair falling into place like dominos

i don't want you like a best friend

it feels like i'm losing a friend / i can't breathe without you

feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend; its nice to have a friend

i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

it's interesting that she "went from friends to this" when there's no evidence her and joe knew each other at all before dating. actually, friends to this is more of a gay thing.

then there's things that seem like clear flagging.

her hair dyed the bi pride colors in You Need to Calm Down mv

the miss americana documentary in which she lists things that make her her, amongst them "cowboy boots, rainbows, gay pride"

her midnights merch included a bracelet that just says PRIDE with the bi flag

i heard that the Eras tour starts out with the lesbian flag colors splashed on the stage

fun fact: if you lay out each color she lists in maroon, you get lesbian flag colors (rose, burgundy, scarlet, rust, maroon, ruby)

some throwaway things that are i think are funny gaylor "evidence":

starting out reputation with "you & me got big reputations and would be a big conversation" when no one knew who joe was at all

the chorus of this song: "they don't know about the night in the hotel, they weren't riding in the car when we both fell, didn't read the note on the polaroid picture, they don't know how much i miss..........you"

referring to red lips in maroon when she's never dated a man with lips, let alone red lips

she advocates for gay rights & taylor never speaks up about anything that doesn't affect her

[thedetectiveofinaba]

1. When are you usually online?

I’m usually online during evenings and/or afternoons most active during either the late afternoon, evening or late at night my time. This does cause me to miss most activity & squeeze hours from later hours bc smh why do most ppl I write with have to be from States -

2. What verses are you involved in outside of this page?

My multimuse side blog (with the url @multiplelivesinline​). It’s multi-fandom even though Pokemon seems to dominate there atm, if I decide to write or test any other muse than Naoto I’m likely to add them instead of another single muse blog. Side blogs have their own small headaches but they’re easy enough to deal w/ for now since it’s mostly followed by people who are mutuals with me or specific fandom folks (Pkmn RPC).

3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

Not reading people’s rules before they’re following or lurking. This especially goes for personal blogs, with whom I’ve had several headache inducing situations. One other pet peeve I have is not having backbone to say that your muse isn’t always canon or that you have a ship bias: if your muse is bi/straight even though canon says otherwise don’t claim that they’re canon compliant. People will only feel lied to when they find out later that your muse is closer to a hc-based and that can lead to bad outcomes.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses?

Either calm, cool and collected muses who are using their first impression as a facade of sorts or muses who care too much on what others think or try to be the Hero Who Can Save Everyone. My gender bias seems to be on ladies even though one of my biased muses is Gladion from Sun/Moon, the edgelord brooding side cast whose backstory is sth what shook me at first but gave me reasons to care on him. One day I’m using his AU verse for BSD more.

5. Are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

The theme of how there can be darkness and failure in your life but it’ll always pass due time and how there’s small momemts of joy in life. It’s how I tend to see hurt/comfort or angst used for the best end goals and my personal mantra in life. Time heals all wounds, even though it might take months never give in or think that it’s worthless to even try. There is always a way and people to help you along the way, depressive shit or moments of desperation will exist but you will always survive through.

6. What are your favorite RP trends?

Slice of life stuff what is focused on small joys of life in middle of a greater storyline, character dynamics studies and how they fluctuate + the trend of opposites attract. In Naoto’s case it’s the concept of her personal growth during P4 and after it & how she’s not the most extrovert type piques my interest. and the gradual realization on why media Hell is a bad place to end up in. She hates that part of her career the most. 

The character dynamic is something I noticed later on the AUs what have a Naoto who isn’t too opposed to chaotic behavior/her temperament or ego taking over her rationality more. It’s thrilling to write the contrast what works fluently without any big hassle: Especially Michiru (1/4 angel!AU) has been a clear sign on how her type is an extrovertish person who can do things you wouldn’t assume from them or an anomaly. 

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone?

A starter call and/or plotting calls continued with Tumblr IMs are an easiest entryway for starting a thread I want to plot. Another option is for me to send an ask and approaching you in IMs if I get an idea I 100 % want to do. I don’t personally do open RP posts and want clear plans so neither party will have an unpleasant experience. 

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

Duplicates are cool, and a neat thing to exist. I’m not chasing them away w/ a pitchfork. I can’t ofc assume that my girl will 100 % vibe with them automatically but if that happens assume me to throw an idea for a sibling/twin AU or multiverse interactions at some point. (Also if you get any ideas you’re welcome to go to IMs to plot around that & talk OOC stuff, I’m not the most outward person ever to exist & am likely to say hi back.)

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

For about 5 and half years. I started this as an extension of my already existing writing hobby for own stories with OCs when my online friend enabled me to go for it and discovered pretty quickly that even though my Naoto was crappy at first I really enjoyed this & wanted to continue even though I had a rough patch at first. 

10. Is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t?

I’ve had the small interest to try writing Atsuro Kihara from DeSu for some time, probably the only thing stopping me is the lack of energy to sink hours to a JRPG to see if I have enough inspiration for that. The other character who I have memed on is writing Kanji or Yumi from P4. If I write Yumi though, I am deleting the forced romance BS. No forced romance paths, we delete their existence like based people who want fluent romances.

Tagged by: @fatexbound​

Tagging: Steal it from me if you want to ^_~

[edie-baby]

Les Fleurs du Mal Chapter 1| Pierre Gasly

Summary: Sava Dvorakova had big dreams for Formula One. An opportunity of a lifetime comes around, so she takes it and runs. She proved just about everyone wrong, and is awarded a very controversial seat on the F1 grid. There’s smiles and grins, hugs and kisses, love and laughter. There’s tears and sobs, fights and break ups. There’s evil where you least expect it, hidden in the garden of eden. The Flowers of Evil.

Warnings: a lot of swearing, shitty parents (they’re a recurring theme), sexism, i ignored a lot of actual f1 rules because i couldn’t be bothered writing it into the story tbh, yuki is fcking adorable, a lot of smut eventually, like a lot.

There were hundreds, thousands, maybe even a million girls who have dreamed of making it into Formula One. It is the pinnacle of motorsport, the highest calibre and the most competitive of its many engine-based counterparts. Many women over the years have tried to make their way into the sport, but as each season becomes more competitive, it seems as though the women of motorsport keep slipping through the cracks. Perhaps it’s a timing thing - they weren’t in the right place at the right time - or perhaps it’s a sexism thing, or maybe the female drivers just simply are not at the same level that a lot of the men are at.

Sava Dvorakova feared being one of those women. One that would try their hardest, but were still unable to make their mark on a sport they had very clear passion for. The seventeen year old had been karting since her fifth birthday, progressing through the levels the Czech Republic had to offer before she moved onto European championships. Nearly every weekend of the year, Sava was in her kart, racing against boys three years her senior and thrashing them each time. However, she didn’t get the opportunity to progress into single-seaters for many years.

It was September 2020, just like any other race weekend when it happened, Sava piled into her kart as the marshalling for her heat was called. Her uncle patted the top of her helmet for good luck, a tradition the two had kept for about twelve years at this point, and she made it out onto her starting place - pole position as usual. Sava pulled clean moves the entire race, defended her position without being reckless or desperate, and had perfect pace. As she pulled back into the pits under her team’s marquee, she spotted her uncle speaking with an older man in a button up and slacks, something quite odd for a normal karting weekend. Sava hopped out, practically ripping her helmet and balaclava off as her footsteps increased in pace to get to her uncle. He scooped her up into a hug, spinning the girl a few times and congratulating her on another victory for the season.

“Bunny, this is Doctor Helmut Marko, he’s the director of Red Bull Racing. He’d like to speak with you about a driving opportunity.” Sebastian, her uncle, stated clearly, his excitement spilling into his eyes as he stared at his seventeen year old niece. Her dyed-pink hair sat matted to her forehead, the majority of it spun into Dutch braids down her back that would be tucked into the back of her race suit before the next race, her cheeks were flushed red, and her bottom lip was cracked in places from how much the Czech nibbled on it on and off track. Sebastian almost laughed at the situation she had ended up in.

“Dr Marko, it’s lovely to meet you. I have an hour until my next heat, so if you would like to speak urgently, there is a small cafe about a hundred metres from the track. If you’d like less of a time constraint, I will be completely free after 4pm today.” Sava told the man in front of her, Czech accent so thick the Austrian could barely understand her.

“It should only take about 10 minutes, so if you’d like, I can buy you and your uncle a coffee at the cafe while we speak.” Dr Marko offered. Sava nodded calmly, her uncle much more vocal about his excitement. Sava excused herself to change into less sweaty clothes, returning in a halter-neck singlet and a pair of ripped skinny jeans. Her trusty combat boots stepped over all of the tools, debris, and shit that was scattered around the pits as she made it back to the two men.

“So, Sava, what is your goal in karting?” Dr Marko began almost immediately after the trio had sat down in the cafe.

“To make it into formula one and win multiple world championships.” Sava responded confidently, barely a second between the question and her reply as it was something she had thought about for a very long time.

“So why aren’t you already driving in single seaters?” Dr Marko questioned further, and from the corner of her eye, Sava could see her uncle tense up.

“Because no one’s willing to give me a chance in the big leagues because they know I’ll do a lot better than half the boys on the grid.” The seventeen year old replied. Helmut seemed impressed with the rapid fire, confidence laden responses he was receiving.

“Well, I’m willing to. Jehan Daruvala, a Red Bull junior currently driving for Carlin in formula two is unable to attend the last three races of the season because of health issues. I want you to take his seat for those races, and if you’re as good in a single seater as you are in that kart, I’ll make sure you have a seat for next year.” Helmut laid out, and Sebastian audibly choked. Sava smirked at her uncle’s reaction, and stared into the eyes of the man offering her a fast track to her dreams.

“I’d love to. When and where is the next race?” Sava chuckled, her uncle’s recovery from his choking fit was slow, and Helmut looked on in amusement. He had seen many similar reactions from the drivers he was propositioning, but it seemed as though this duo had reversed the normal roles.

“The weekend begins on Thursday in Italy. You’ll be racing in Mugello.” Helmut told the pair dryly. Sebastian began coughing once again, Sava simply rubbing his back soothingly while she nodded.

“I’ll need to make arrangements with my school, but I presume you’ll make travel and accommodation arrangements from Prague to Mugello?” Sava continued her calm conversation, though she could feel her natural bubbliness and excitement ready to burst through.

“Yes. There will be a Carlin race suit and boots in Mugello when you arrive, as well as a helmet and teamwear. You’ll have a personal assistant for the time you’re in Jehan’s seat, to keep up with the media and to navigate the paddock. I’ll have all of the relevant information forwarded to you tonight, and there will be a contract for you to sign upon your arrival in Italy.”

“Then I’ll see you there, sir. I best be on my way, I’ll need time to change back into my race suit before my heat is called in about half an hour. It was lovely to meet you, and I look forward to meeting and exceeding your expectations.” Sava concluded, standing up to give her new boss a handshake before she turned on her heels and practically sprinted out of the cafe. She speed walked back to the track and into the changing rooms before letting out the ear splitting squeal she had been holding in since she won her race forty five minutes ago.

It was easy enough to sort out her absence with her school, as there were no assessments due and Sava was already miles ahead of the rest of her peers, so her teachers had no qualms with letting their champion out to represent the country.

The issue however, was with her parents. Her father, a man she had been emancipated from for over a year, decided he would give her grief for throwing away her education to take someone’s spot for a few weeks before they would inevitably drop her once they realised how bad she was. Her mother wasn’t much better. As her legal guardian, she technically did have the right to stop her daughter from going into the F2 seat, but after a gruelling discussion and many threats from Sava to emancipate from her mother as well, she conceded.

So, on a very sunny, very early Thursday morning in September, Sava hopped onto a plane with an overnight bag to begin catching her dreams. Unfortunately, Sebastian had work during the week, but would be flying out to Italy on Friday night to watch his niece’s races on Saturday and Sunday. But, Sava arrived in Italy as bubbly and excitable as ever. Her pink hair was split into her iconic high pigtails, a white crop top, and pastel pink pleated skirt and trusted combat boots covered her form, black duffel bag thrown over her shoulder with some clothes for the weekend, and all of her travel documents. The PA standing with her name printed on a sign was very confused when a very small, very pink teenage girl bumbled over to her and said ‘Hi, I’m Sava. But everyone calls me Bunny’.

“I’m sorry, I expected someone a little more gritty.” The twenty-something woman spoke, her blonde hair in a high ponytail with a Carlin shirt and dark wash jeans. Sava guessed the PA expected someone who looked more like herself.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot. Most people don’t recognise me out of my race suit, so I definitely don’t expect someone who’s never seen me to anticipate my looks. What’s your name?” Sava’s Czech accent, combined with her hyperactivity meant she talked extremely fast, and often it was all nonsense, and she simply spoke for the sake of speaking. The PA took a few seconds to process the words Sava had spoken before finally replying with a simple ‘Amelia’. The two made it to the car that was waiting and travelled to the track in silence, Sava taking in the sights, and Amelia tapping away at her phone. When they got out, Amelia handed Sava a paddock pass, explaining the importance of it and demonstrating how to use it at the gates. They walked through to the Carlin garage, one half working away excitedly, while the other side seemed rather dead.

“Everyone, can I have your attention please? This is Sava Dvorakova, she’s our reserve driver for the rest of the season. Make her comfortable, and make sure she feels welcome!” Amelia yelled, very quickly causing silence to spread over the entire garage.

“Hi! I’m Sava, but most people call me Bunny, so feel free to do either! Or if you’d like, Dvorakova works just as well, but it’s a bit of a mouthful so I understand if you mispronounce it. I’ll also probably respond to ‘hey you’ so anything works. I’m really looking forward to working with you all and giving you some good results this weekend!” Sava giggled at the end, her fists clenched in front of her chest as she gave a small cheer with her hands and the entire garage remained silent for a few moments before breaking out into whispers, their eyes trailing over the teenager’s body. The anxiety in Sava’s belly bubbled, and she began playing with her hands until she was approached by a boy who was a little taller than her with a friendly smile on his face.

“Hi, I’m Yuki. I drive the other Carlin. It’s nice to meet you Bunny.” Yuki introduced with a smile and fist bump. He was unbelievably pleased to meet a driver who was smaller than him, though he supposed that her being a girl wouldn’t ease all of the teasing he got from other drivers on the grid. The two chatted about their background in racing, and Yuki gave Sava a few pointers on handling the car she was about to drive for the first time ever.

“Sava, I have all of your race gear to try on, and later on you’ll need to do a seat fitting as the mechanics are just going to modify one of Yuki’s seats since you two are similar height.” Amelia stated, breaking up the conversation between the two youngsters. Sava apologised to her new friend before practically skipping behind Amelia. She received a few weird looks from others in the paddock, including a few F1 drivers she recognised from TV and her Instagram feed. She wasn’t sure why they were in this paddock, but supposed a few of the younger guys had only recently come out of F2.

When she got into a Carlin motorhome, race overalls and her flame-retardant undersuit were thrust into her hands by Amelia, and then pointed toward a tiny bathroom within the motorhome while the PA continued scrolling through emails, updating social media, and answering calls. Sava pulled the suits on excitedly, and though it was a bit tight in the hips, thighs and chest, she thought it looked pretty damn good.

“So, I think this was definitely made for a guy with less boobs and smaller hips, but the fit is still really good.” Sava joked to Amelia when she stepped out, only to see Helmut Marko standing alongside her new assistant. She went red instantly, her shoulders tensing and sliding up toward her head.

“Yes, well, we can certainly fix that before the next race, but right now, I believe you’re needed for fittings in the garage, so throw on your helmet and get down there.” Helmut ordered. Sava quickly snatched up her balaclava and helmet, threading the two onto her arm as she began undoing the pigtails to braid them on her way back to the Carlin garage while Amelia and Helmut stayed behind to talk.

If Sava thought she was getting weird looks on her way to the motorhome, she was getting even weirder ones on the way back from it. From what she could tell, it seemed more like mechanics, engineers and other personnel from other teams and she couldn’t see any drivers she recognised before she slipped into the Carlin garage, one braid half finished, and her helmet banging against her head every time she moved her arm. Yuki laughed at her struggles, ambling over to thread the helmet and balaclava off her arm while she held the half finished braid precariously. Sava thanked him with a quick smile and continued braiding, her tongue occasionally poking out the side of her mouth in concentration. One she was finished, and the long braids were tucked into the back of her suit, she pulled on the balaclava and helmet in record speed, and then was ushered into the F2 car to begin the tedious process of trying and changing one of Yuki’s seats to suit her height and posture. 

After about an hour of fiddling, she was allowed to take the helmet off, and was beginning to doze off in the cockpit while a few of the employees debated different ways of measuring and fixing the seat nearby. Amelia came into the garage to find the new driver fully asleep in her car with everyone still talking around her. She took a photo and uploaded it to Carlin’s Instagram story, tagging the driver and writing a quick word about the reserve driver they hadn’t officially announced yet. She giggled slightly, and when two of the mechanics came back over to lift the seat out of the car, they accidentally lifted the driver out with it. Amelia took more photos of the seventeen year old comfortably in her race suit, curled in her seat while two mechanics held the entire ensemble up above the car.

Suffice to say, Carlin’s Instragram was flooded with adoring new fans, angered stans, and a few cheeky formula one drivers on private accounts. 

[worstloki]

please read the article 'How White Fandom is Colonizing "Character-Coding"' by Shafira Jordan and quit while you're ahead

Okay, so I read it and see the problem, and I’ll try to address all their points in order because I don’t wholly agree with the article. I know it’s a lot to read so I’ve put tldr; sections at the end of each :)

Misusing the Term Reinforces Negative Stereotypes for Marginalized People 

The article essentially argues that labeling characters which are villainous as POC-coded is bad because they’re not morally pure and doing so "reinforces the idea that people of color are naturally dangerous and not to be trusted.”

Which is fair as you don’t want all the representation to be of ‘bad’ characters, but I also don’t believe all representative characters have to be ‘good’ either as it would be equally racist to divide good/bad in such a way. Not that I would place Loki under ‘bad’ to begin with, but arguing that characters shouldn’t be labelled as POC-coded for reasons unrelated to what’s presented in the narrative or because they did bad things is :/ even if lack of good representation is a prevalent issue in current Western and influenced media. 

Ideally there should be a range of representative characters that fall into ‘good’, ‘bad’, and ‘anywhere in-between’ because variety and complexity in character types should, in theory, be treated as common practice (which can only happen with a multitude of representation!).

And a bit unrelated but... within the fictional context of Thor 1, all the Jotnar (sans Loki) are presented to the audience as ‘bad’ by default. They desperately want to get their Casket back to the point of attempting stealing it (from the ‘good’ characters), they fight the heroes and even when the gang and Thor (’good’ characters) are enjoying or going overboard with taking lives it’s inconsequential, Laufey wants to kill the opposing king (who just happens to be a ‘good’ character) and will resort to low-handed methods to do so, etc. The narrative itself is from the frame of reference of the ‘good’ and we only see warriors of Jotunheim though so we understand why it’s like this, because regardless of their race/experiences the narrative carries, even if it most definitely would be seen as racist from our real-life perspectives if the ‘monstrous’ race were presented by actual people of colour, even if it would make sense for the people on on different realms living in different environments to be different from each other, and realistic even for that to be the root of some conflict. 

tldr; not using a specific label to prevent negative presentations of the characters seems a bit strange to do when the coding would be based off the text, but with limited representation available I see why it would be done, even if I still believe minority-coding is free game to expand/interpret.

Improperly Labeling a Character as “POC-coded” Suggests the Experiences of All People of Color are the Same 

The article argues that labeling Loki as POC-coded “suggests that all people of color have the same experiences, when in reality, people of color come from different places, have different cultures, and have different traditions.” And while it’s true that the term doesn’t go into detail about which particular experiences (and these experiences can vary vastly due to diversity!) the appropriate measure would be to remove the umbrella term POC altogether as people of colour tend to also vary. But that’s also exactly why it’s an all-encompassing general term? It’s a way to denote anyone who isn’t “white” and has the associated cultural privilege that comes with the concept of white supremacy.  

And, obviously, in the fictional setting presented, the concept of white supremacy is not prodded at, but cultural supremacy is definitely one that makes recurring appearances, right next to the parts about Asgard being a realm built on imperialism with ongoing colonial practice. 

My take on this is that Loki’s narrative features a struggle with identity after finding out he’s of a different race and was being treated differently his entire life and being Jotun was presumably a part of the reasoning even if he didn’t know it. He’s basically treated as of less worth for inherently existing differently. I do believe that racism is a common-enough POC experience, but that while Loki was born with blue skin he passes/appears white which is why I don’t say that Loki is a POC, just that he has been coded/can be interpreted this way. 

There’s also the entire thing with Loki trying to fit in and prove he belongs by trying to fit the theory and be The Most Asgardian by committing genocide (which ultimately makes no difference as he’s still not the ‘acceptable’ version of Asgardian), and the denial/rejection of his birth culture in destructively lashing out towards them (which even Thor is confused by because Loki isn’t typically violent), and the fact his self worth plummets and he is passively suicidal upon finding out he’s Jotun (internalized racism? general drop in self-worth after finding out he’s adopted and has been lied to? Bit of both?), but what do I know, I’m sure none of those are, at their base, common experiences or relatable feelings for anyone or decent rep because we see such themes on-screen presented wonderfully in different lights all the time. 

tldr; every set of experiences could be different, some types of discrimination could overlap, if you limit an umbrella term to only very specific circumstances then it’s no longer an umbrella term.

Suggesting that White Characters are Meant to be Seen as People of Color Ignores the Actual Characters of Color that are Present in these Stories

I don’t agree with most of this section, but that may just be the way the arguments are put together, which I don’t blame the author for.

“ Implying that Loki is a person of color completely ignores Heimdall and Hogun, the only Black and Asian Asgardians who appear in the movie. ”

Characters such as Hogun and Heimdall which are played by actual people of colour have smaller roles in the films and any prejudice they could face for being POC in-universe isn’t made apparent, while Loki at the very least comes to the realization that something he couldn’t change (race, parentage,) was having him treated differently his whole life and had to come to terms with it. The Vanir/Aesir are also both treated similarly on-screen, and Heimdall having dark skin isn’t plot relevant, whereas Jotnar are treated as lesser consistently and are relevant through the movie (breaking into the vault, Thor and co. attack Jotunheim, Loki’s deal with Laufey, the attempted regicide (and the successful one XD), destroying jotunheim, Loki saying he’s not Thor’s brother,). 

I also see including characters as POC-coded as... more representation? In all canon-compliant interpretations of the characters Hogun being Vanir is always explicitly mentioned because it’s a fact that just is, up to the appearance and even the world-building of Vanaheim in some fanworks use particularly East Asian culture as inspiration. I have never come across a Marvel fandom Heimdall interpretation where he’s not Black... but because these characters are more minor/side-characters of course they get less attention! 

“ In Loki’s fandom, Heimdall’s name sometimes gets thrown in to suggest that it was he all along who was the real villain due to his “racism” against Loki and the rest of the Jotun. It is, of course, ironic to suggest that somehow the only Black Asgardian to appear in the movie can oppress the privileged white prince. “

I... don’t know where to start with this. But the example of theorizing given in the article wasn’t suggesting Heimdall was bad or trying to explain his actions in Thor 1 by saying he is Black... and just looking at a character’s actions shouldn’t be done less or more critically because of skin tone in my opinion. Heimdall may have been trying to do what was best and protect the realm but if the audience didn’t know that Loki was up to dodgy things then the coding would be switched around because he was trying to spy and committed treason and then tried to kill Loki. People... can hold feelings towards others... regardless of skin... and suspect them... for reasons other than skin... although I do still have questions about whether Heimdall knew Loki was Jotun or not. (Even if I personally don’t think it’d make a difference to how he’d treat Loki?)

Some Loki fans have also suggested that because Jotuns have blue skin that this alone makes him a person of color (even if the audience is only allowed to see Loki in his true Jotun form for mere seconds of screentime). This, again, shows a lack of understanding when it comes to race. It doesn’t matter what skin color the Jotuns have. 

Race can differentiate between physical and/or behavioural characteristics!! Not being blue all the time doesn’t make him any less Jotun!! He’s got internalized stuff to work through and is used to being Aesir!! At least 1 parent is Jotun so even if Loki was passing as Aesir he’s probably Jotun!! (I don’t know how magic space genetics work for sure but Loki being Jotun was an entire very important jump-starting point in Thor 1!!). It’s a fantasy text and typically things like having different coloured skin indicates a different race or is sometimes if a species has multiple then is just considered a skin colour. That’s how coding works!! The Jotnar are very specifically the only race we see in the movie with a skin-tone not within the ‘normal’ human range, which alienates them to the audience from the get-go!! They’re an “other” and on the opposite side to the ‘good’ characters.

Both Loki and his birth father, Laufey (Colm Feore), are played by white men, and it is impossible for a white man to successfully play a character of color. 

The specification of men here bothers me, but yes, you don’t get ‘white’ people to play characters of colour if it can be avoided. (And it can be avoided.)

This also connects with the previous point made that people of color come from various places. There is nothing specifically about the Jotun that could be traced to any specific person of color, and even if there were, there would be no way for white men to portray them without being disrespectful.

This is where arguments about the definition of coding and how specificity/generalizations and do/don’t come in. I know I’m subjective and lean towards the more rep the better, but while I agree ‘white’ people wouldn’t be able to respectfully play a POC I don’t think that rule should have to carry over into fantasy-based fiction. I know texts reflect on reality and reality can reflect within texts, but if contextually there is racial discrimination and there are similar ideas which resonate with the audience’s own experiences I’d say it’s coded well enough to allow that.

tldr; Thor 1′s narrative revolves mainly around Thor and Loki, of which race is kinda kinda a significant theme in Loki’s part of the story. Not so much explored with less-developed side characters such as Heimdall and Hogun, even though their actors are actual people of colour. 

How Much of this is Really Well-Intentioned?

In the fantasy space viking world Heimdall and Hogun don’t face any on-screen prejudice and their appearance is not mentioned (which is nice, for sure! good to have casual rep!) but adding on to the roles they play in the narrative the explicit fantasy-racism in the movie isn't aimed at Asian/Black characters, but towards the Humans -to a lesser extent- and the Jotnar, including Loki, who only just found out he comes under that bracket.

The article mentions how fandom space toxicity often “reaches the actors who portray the characters,“ which is true, and it’s shameful that people have to justify their roles or presences are harassed for the pettiest things like skin tone/cultural background, but I don’t see coding characters as removing the spotlight from interesting characters such as those which are actually POC, rather expressing a demand for more rep, since well-written complex characters which are diverse are often absent/minor enough in the media, and therefore can get easily brushed aside in both canon and fandom spaces.

tldr; It’s obviously not a replacement for actual representation, but, if a character is marginalized and can be interpreted as coded, even if they would only be considered so within the context of the textual landscape, I don’t see why spreading awareness through exploring the coding as a possibility for the character shouldn’t be done, even if the media is being presented by people who are ‘white’ or privileged or may not fall into the categories themselves, as long as it’s done respectfully to those it could explicitly represent.

[just-a-simple-otaku]

Alina Gray analysis

Well then, Alina Gray sure is a piece of work. The problematic fav of the MagiReco fandom, fondly referred to as psycho artist or JoJo reference. But Alina is more than a reference and more than just a psycho. In fact, is she even a psycho? In that case, psycho meaning either psychotic or psychopath (or I guess here psycho as in crazy murderous bitch). So let’s have a meaningful analysis of this character and undercover what might be a tragic tale of objectification.

We are introduced to Alina in the game in chapter 5 and in the anime in episode 9. In both media she arrives to stop the protagonists from destroying Ai, an uwasa. In the game, Madoka and Homura (Moemura) were there but not in the anime version. In the game, in her first appearance Alina appeared at first as serious, cold and irritable, before she revealed her mad and sadistic antics. In the anime, she showed up laughing maniacally, acting all eccentric and borderline insane, even strangling herself. It seems that the anime went overboard with the Alina acting crazy part. Not that I disliked it, but given that the game is the original source, I’ll keep this analysis mainly game-only.

We should start by the beginning, which is Alina’s backstory as shown in her magical girl story. It’s implied that Alina’s fascination with life and death in her art started when her grandparents and dog died when she was a child. Given that this event was what drove Alina’s art, I’d say their death must have left a pretty big impact on her (especially since she was 8 years old and might not have been fully able to grasp the concept of death). Alina mentioned how her parents often got mad at her for spending too much time painting, which led her to make her wish to have a space when she can be alone and nobody can disturb her there. Alina was treated as an artist genius from a young age and gathered a lot of attention and big expectations and ended up having no privacy and being used for her talents by people around her, including her parents and teachers. Alina wasn’t valued as a person but only for her art and adults didn’t respect her privacy or free-will as they often shared personal information about her to the public or submit her arts without her authorization.

Despite being a famous artist, Alina shows no interest in popularity, admiration or love from people and simply wants to create more art. She doesn’t seem to enjoy attention or even the company of others and prefer to be left alone. No ones seem interested in how she feels, only in her art and how they can use it for their own benefit (like her teacher who submitted her art against her will and tried to force her to participate in other contests for the sake of the school’s reputation), and when she refuses she’s been called selfish. The only person who genuinely cares for Alina as a person is her kouhai Karin, but I’ll get back to their relationship later.

Her magical girl story shows Alina as someone pretty antisocial with mood swings and impulsivity issues where she can snap and result in material destruction. She seems relatively unhappy with her life and on the verge of depression. The breaking point was when she refused an award for a contest she didn’t agree to participate in in the first place, she received a letter from one of the judges: “It seems you are capable of creating a work that is so beautiful and arcane that viewers will think about it until their deaths. However, your work, which has no external theme, is a powerful drug that might drive people insane. That's why I want to tell you this. If you don't want to change the world, stop creating. You are only fifteen years old; if you haven't realized this, your brilliance will probably run out.”

I just want to mention first that the English translation doesn’t mention she’s 15 years old at that time (she’s 16 in the main story). At first, this letter may seem insignificant and harmless, until you realize how fucked up it is for an adult to say that to a teen. This judge said that Alina’s art is hollow and hurt people and that if she doesn’t intend to change the world with it, she should stop creating, and that her light will burn out. It basically implied that Alina creating art for herself is wrong and harmful and that if she isn’t creating for others, then her art is just worthless and so is her life. Again, implying Alina is a selfish person who is basically useless because she doesn’t want to meet people’s expectations and shaming her for that. Can we talk about how inappropriate, irresponsible and cruel it is for an adult to say that to a child? To crush their passion and treat its worth only by how others appreciate it? And the fact Alina was already feeling depressive before sure didn’t help.

Some people might think Alina is selfish, but let me tell you this: Alina doesn’t owe the world anything. Her art is hers and only hers, yet people kept trying to appropriate her art for their own goal, with no concern for how Alina felt, her desires, and basically treated her as a tool and used her. Now remembers, Alina started to show interest in art at 8 and in her magical story she was 15, meaning she went through 7 years of being used, guilt-tripped, having her privacy violated and having no free-will over her own creations. No wonder why she’s tired of people and just wants to be left alone, and is overall hostile to others.

After she received this letter, Alina became full of doubt and questioned the meaning of her art and life as well as her own worth, and came to the conclusion that just like her art, she’s worthless and is basically a poison and toxic to everyone. After leaving on a vacation to find some inspiration and a meaning to her art, in vain, Alina then decided that she would be better off ending all her art, as well as herself. She went on a rampage to destroy all her art before planning to commit suicide by jumping from a rooftop. She wanted her death to be her final work, concluding her art of life and death, so people can witness her last moment before her light fade away (she put a camera to record her suicide). A last desperate attempt to give some meaning to her life through death.

Kyubey did try to convince her to make a wish, twice, and the second time, Alina agreed, and wished for a space where she cannot be bothered by others. But she had no intent to play her role as a magical girl, she just wanted to add her wish in her life so it can be lost as well in her death.

Of course, as a magical girl, Alina survived the fall and encountered a witch, and, amazed by its beauty, found what the theme of her art was, what she wanted to convert to the world: Alina’s Beauty. She found a reason to live through that and a meaning to her art. She wants people to witness what she considers to be beautiful. And this is how she started to breed witches together and create even more powerful witches (again, let’s talk about that later). Interesting thing, Alina’s doppel is highly based on virus and poison that can drive people insane, which is a clear reference to her thinking her art is poison that drive people insane because of the judge.

So, what I got from her backstory is a subtle tragedy. Alina was basically objectified in a way since she’s a child, used for her talent and treated as a mere tool. Almost no one has any consideration for her feelings, desires and privacy and is, yeah, treated more like an object than a human, and put an insane amount of pressure by all the expectation and guilt-tripping people kept putting on her shoulders. Alina ended up with a disturbed sense of her own identity and what was the purpose of her life, splitting tendencies (incapacity how seeing both positive and negative, lack of nuance), impulsivity and recklessness, unstable and chaotic relationships, self-damaging behaviors, detachment from reality, as well as depression, anger and rage.

I might have sounded really precise here, right? Well, those descriptors I used for Alina are almost all the criteria for a specific disorder: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Yep, I’m basically saying that I think Alina might suffer from BPD. At first I thought she might be bipolar because of her mood swing between depression and almost manic behaviors, but bipolarity is mainly genetic and the mood switch is usually not that fast, unlike BPD. BPD is also a personality disorder, it’s not genetic and is caused by the environment, which makes more sense for Alina.

People with BPD also tend to be extremely sensitive to any form of criticism and alternating between idealization and devalorization and emotionally unstable and erratic. That sounds pretty much like what happened to Alina in her magical girl story if you think about it. BPD can also lead to psychotic episodes in more serious cases.

Now, I wouldn’t say that Alina perfectly fit the diagnosis or that it was the creator’s intention, but I feel like she’s a pretty good example of someone who suffers from untreated BPD and to me, it helps me understand the character on a more psychological basis and empathize with her.

There’s also more input on Alina’s psyche in the Holy Alina magical girl story. Again, after one critic that might look trivial from Karin (implying that Alina’s work isn’t art but breeding), Alina became overwhelmed with doubt regarding her art and extremely moody. Having her art compared to breeding and raising a pet deeply upset Alina, who’s forced to admit it’s true. She is indeed breeding witches, and she came to doubt that it’s real art.

Alina feels conflicted feelings. She’s mad that her art may not be art, but at the same time, feels excited at the idea of breeding witches, which only frustrated her even more. Surprisigly, it’s Karin who managed to make her feel better by making her read her favorite manga, bing worried that Alina might attempt suicide again. Alina understood through the manga that even if the plot is redundant, there’s a recurring theme that draws people to it. As a thanks, Alina bought a strawberry milk to Karin (while she usually stole it from her whenever she’s disappointed by her). Alina knows her art is more than just breeding and that she just need to find the core of her theme beyond life and death.

Alina decides to seek advice from her fellow Magius, Touka and Nemu. Nemu did notice how irritable Alina was these days. They make Alina realize that people tend to share a collective unconsciousness, like different civilizations worshipping the sun even though they had no contact with one another. So Alina needs to find something all humanity shares collectively, something she also shares with them. Touka suggested destruction: a death drive, a self-destructive urge. So the core of Alina’s art would be a craving towards death. After reading more about it, Alina became obsessed with the idea of self-destruction and, unable to fully grasp it, threw a tantrum and destroyed her atelier and aggressively asked Touka and Nemu for more explanation. Both explain how humans is one of the only species who kill one another even if it’s unnecessary, especially through wars. Mifuyu then arrives and complained that by destroying stuff, Alina is damaging the environment. This comment brought Touka and Nemu to find the perfect example of humans’ self-destruction: them destroying the environment. Not only are humans killing one another, they are also destroying their own planet.

Alina concluded that humans unconsciously crave death and destruction, leading them to their own destruction. She thinks this is why everyone is so fascinated by her art, because humans do seek their own death. Alina decides that she’ll indeed change the world with her art and that the core of her theme is “changing the world for the good of humanity”. Even if it sounds good, there’s something sinister behind this. For her, the “good of humanity” is granting what she thinks humans want: Their own destruction.

This is how she decided to become Holy Alina by wearing an Uwasa supposed to grant people their desires. And this is how Alina came to the conclusion she has to cause destruction, for the “sake” of humanity.

We might think that Alina’s actions actually came from a misguided good intention, but let’s not forget Alina is far from being a good person. She enjoys making people suffer and causing misery all around her, she doesn’t show any empathy for others and is remorseless. She’s sadistic, cruel and callous. And that lead to another diagnosis:

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD).

In case you don’t know, ASPD is often referred to as sociopathy or psychopathy, even if both are technically incorrect, but let’s not dwell on that. Alina does exhibit a lot of antisocial behaviors, even before she became a magical girl, such as: Failure to obey laws and norms by engaging in behavior which results in criminal arrest, or would warrant criminal arrest, impulsive behaviors, irritability and aggression, disregard for her own safety and irresponsibility. She laters shows a blatant lack of remorse for her actions and a lack of empathy. The only traits she doesn’t seem to have is lying, deceiving and manipulating for her own profit or amusement. Alina is someone who is brutally honest and has no issue with speaking her mind and herself said that she doesn’t lie. I don’t recall any incident where Alina lies, but she can be deceiving and manipulative, like when she purposefully misled Madoka and Homura about Mami’s fate to hurt them, making it look like Mami met a gruesome death simply to make them suffer. But, ASPD can only be diagnosed when you’re 18 and alas, Alina is 16. But, there exists a precursor to ASPD for kids and teens, which is required to be diagnosed with ASPD: Conduct Disorder.

Alina almost fit the textbook criteria of conduct disorder. She’s a bully, aggressive, cruel towards others (and potentially animals), vandalism, deceptiveness and serious rules violation. And most of those were even before she became a magical girl. She often mistreats Karin and shows no respect for authority, she’s cruel towards others and I feel like it’s implied that Alina might have killed animals (and there’s also her reaction to Kyubey, who she thought was an animal and ended up kicking) and causes a lot of vandalism. Those were rather mild thoughts before she became a magical girl, where she’s downright dangerous and craving destruction.

BPD and ASPD both belong to the same cluster of personality disorder, cluster b, and are often comorbid. ASPD is often referred to as sociopathy, and given her borderline behaviors, Alina is pretty low-functioning. She’s impulsive, erratic and doesn’t bother to hide her true nature.

So, am I saying Alina is an irredeemable evil person who only seeks death and destruction? Yes, but no. There’s more to her. I won’t deny Alina’s cruelty and sadism and lack of concern for others well-being. After all, she doesn’t shy away from tormenting people, torture and attempted murder. But Alina isn’t born that way, she was driven to become a monster by the people around her. Alina wasn’t allowed to be a human, her feelings, desires and freedom were always disregarded, everything that makes someone human. Instead, she was treated like an object, an an object doesn’t have feelings and only serves a purpose. And the big tragedy in that is that Alina herself ended up objectifying herself. She decided to accomplish what she thinks humanity wants by causing destruction, but she’s also projecting her own self-destruction craving unto humanity as a whole. In the end, she tried to become the tool who will change the world for the good of humanity.

Being treated like an object made Alina unable to relate to others or understand their feelings, treating others just like she was treated: as objects. Alina seems to care for Mifuyu, but not as a person. Alina only values Mifuyu for her body, which she considers to be a work of art. Let’s not forget that magical girls’ true bodies are their soul gems and their human’s body is pretty much an empty shell, so Alina only caring for Mifuyu’s human body and not her as a person does show that she views Mifuyu as an object, not a person.

She also doesn’t understand humans’ bonds. When she proposed to spare their lives in exchange for Felicia (who she was angry at for destroying her witch), she didn’t understand why Tsuruno was so upset. Tsuruno even said “people aren’t objects!” which confused Alina even more. For Alina, everyone, including herself, are objects, and she herself can’t understand why others value people’s lives.

There’s also the way she’s treating witches. At first she seems to care about the witches she raised, considering like like pets and art and throwing a tantrum when Felicia destroyed one of them. But later in the story she shows no remorse to sacrifice the witches she raised, which shows that Alina doesn’t actually care for them, but given that they are hers, she can’t bear people other than her destroying them (or destroying them against her will). Alina did say that only an artist can destroy their own art. Given that she views the witches she raised and breed as her art, she doesn’t actually view them as actual pets but again, as objects. Alina’s objectification extend to witches too.

In one of the Christmas Events where she turned into Holy Alina, she ended up causing a lot of good actions while trying to do bad actions, which made people love her. But it didn’t please Alina at all. She doesn’t care about being loved or hated, she doesn’t care about what people think of her, good or bad actions. At some point, she noticed someone about to blow off a bomb and didn’t care nor show any interest in stopping him until she realized the bomb could damage Mifuyu’s body (again, she wasn’t worried for Mifuyu’s well-being, just her body). Alina seems to not feel shame for her behaviors, neither find it rewarding to be loved and praised.

Another thing regarding Mifuyu. At some point, the Magius (so Alina too) decided to sacrifice Mifuyu and feed her soul gem to Eve. I found it strange that Alina seemed to agree, until I realized something: A magical true body is their soul gem and they only need to feed that to Eve. There’s no need to feed Eve with their empty shell of an organic body. So I came to the conclusion that Alina didn’t mind sacrificing Mifuyu’s soul gem as long as she can keep her body. It just shows how much Alina doesn’t care about Mifuyu as a person and only valued her as a piece of art. An object. (And God knows what she would have done with her corpse).

Well, I’m not making a case about Alina not being an unredeemable piece of shit huh? Well, I decided to keep the best for the end: Her relationship with Karin.

It’s undeniable that Karin holds a special place in Alina’s heart (or whatever Alina has instead of a heart). Alina is cruel and mean towards Karin, true, but unlike other people, Alina never hurts Karin for her own pleasure or by sadism. Most of the time, she ended up mistreating Karin out of anger, mostly when she deemed that Karin made her lose her time or disappointed her, or when Karin is being dishonest with herself and doesn’t improve. Alina insults her and belittles her, as well as stealing her strawberry milk, not with the intention of hurting her, but as a form of punishment. Like a parent disciplining their child. But Alina does sincerely want Karin to improve and the fact that she takes the time to teach her, spend time with her and even rewards her proves that, in a way, Alina does care about Karin. In a really shitty and abusive way. But I don’t recall any instances where Alina physically harm Karin or show to enjoy hurting her. Still shitty and abusive, don’t get me wrong. But I feel like Alina is being abusive towards Karin because she’s unconsciously repeating how her parents may have treated her as a child. We know her parents often got angry at her and perhaps they acted in a way that is similar to how Alina treats Karin. The cycle of abuse sure is a tragic thing.

But why Karin? Well, I got a couple of theories. First, Karin is the only one who seems to care about Alina as a person and not an object. Karin greatly values Alina and is concerned about her feelings, something Alina isn’t used to, being only values for her talents. Karin often notices Alina’s change of mood and shows rejoice whenever Alina is in a good mood. She also worries greatly about Alina when she’s in a bad mood and even fear that she might try to commit suicide again. Karin is also someone who respects art and thrives to improve even if she seems to lack the talent. But she is still optimistic and never gives up, and she knows why she’s doing art. She wants to make people happy with her stories. Almost the opposite of Alina, who’s rather pessimistic, she oftens despaired regarding her art, she has the talent but lacks substance and doesn’t exactly know why she does art. Alina even admitted that Karin might be a bigger genius than her because of her passion, which Alina feels like she lacks, feeling empty inside. Even if Karin has expectations towards Alina, it doesn’t seem to put pressure on Alina, as Karin shows interest in how to make her own art and not Alina’s art itself. In a way, perhaps Alina can relate to Karin in a certain way, with her desire to make art, as well as being envious of how Karin can just be carefree about her art and be able to enjoy it without having people trying to use her. Perhaps this is why Alina is able to care about her, because in a way, she can relate to Karin. Still, Alina is abusive towards Karin and her intention doesn’t change how poorly she treats Karin.

Funny thing, Alina herself doesn’t seem to know exactly why she makes art, and ends up needing others' opinions to figure it out. She ended up deducing that her core theme is self-destruction because of Touka and Nemu, which seems to make sense with Alina’s fascination with life and death. People focus on the death aspect, but Karin thinks that Alina’s works are actually full of life. Perhaps Karin is the one who’s right, maybe Alina's actual core is more towards life, but given how twisted Alina became, she doesn’t even realize it herself. Maybe Karin is the only one who can see the good Alina might have deep down inside of her, or may even bring the good inside of her. Who knows, Karin might be the key for Alina potential redemption.

Also, it may not look like it, but I think Alina is constantly hurting inside, due to depression, but she’s so disconnected from her own feelings that she doesn’t realize it and unconsciously hurts others because she’s hurting. Alina is full of unhealthy coping. Her own fascination for life and death started by the death of her grandparents and dog when she was a kid, and might actually have traumatized her and her way to cope is her art. That would explain why Alina herself is uncertain about her theme, because often, understanding our own trauma can be quite hard, or even realize that we experience trauma in the first place. Perhaps death traumatized Alina and her art is her way to understand death better and accept it as a part of life itself. Maybe she actually wants to value life by understand death, because without death, life loses its core value.

So, did I answer the question? Is Alina a psycho crazy jojo villain? Yes, but no. Alina isn’t a psychopath and not downright psychotic either (even though she might experience psychotic episodes). Crazy? Well, I do think she suffers from personality disorders, but it doesn’t make her insane. A sociopath? Maaaybbeee. But to be honest, I mainly think Alina is someone broken who is the result of her environment, someone constantly hurting inside with deep self-destructive urges. The objectification made her feel disconnected from her feelings and humanity and turned her into a monster. But it doesn’t excuse her villainous actions, it only made them understandable and Alina more sympathetic.

Well that was longer than I expected. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!

[wordswithkittywitch]

Barbie: A Fairy Secret

Well, it’s finally happening. I’ve lowered my standards enough to start posting my thoughts on Barbie movies. Well, my in-depth analysis so I can give all 37 (I’m counting both Barbie and the Rockers half-hour shorts as one movie. It was a continuing plot.) Barbie movies a rank based on my own arbitrary standards. And because it’s arbitrary, they are being scored out of 110 and I starting more or less randomly with the one I watched earlier this afternoon.

Barbie A Fairy Secret: Overall Score: 54/110 Why is it a score out of 110 instead of 100? Because Barbie gives 110%. Also because there are twelve categories, and only one of them is negative. Why is this score so low? Simply put, I’ve seen all the Barbie films and this isn’t the best one. I still enjoy it, and let’s find out why that is...

High points: 6/10      This is a genuinely funny movie, even if sometimes the jokes are so stupid you’re a little ashamed of laughing at them. Even if you’re watching as an adult, you have to accept this is fundamentally a kids’ movie and it’s going to be silly.      Now, of course there are some kids’ movies that don’t have this problem, and some of them are even in the Barbie series. But this is a film where Ken Matrix-dodges a puff of glitter.

     The architecture of Gloss Angeles and in particular the palace really steals the show; even if a lot of the floating platforms look like gold chocolate kisses hovering upside down. Beyond the gleaming gold and jewel-bright colours, we see a streaked pastel sky extending forever in all directions. Really. All directions. Raquelle asks how far away the ground is, and is quickly informed there is no ground.

Low points: -4/-10 The animation style wasn’t as polished as some of the later Barbie movies, and usually I can just ignore that, but it also lacked the pastel charm of some of the earlier ones. It was kind of in an awkward middle ground. The faces are a little stiffer than other films, and a lot of the emoting needs to be done with the body language.

And on a far more petty note, I don’t think that the name “Zane” sounds as much like a fairy as “Graciellla”. Or “Graylen”. Or even “Crystal”. “Taylor” is on about the same level of sounding like a fairy as “Zane” though.

WLW appeal: 6/10

I’m not saying that two women admitting that they both wanted to be closer but thought that the other one didn’t like them, hugging and then a rainbow of light transforms into fairies, shattering the cage they were in is necessarily lesbian subtext, but it’s really easy to read it that way. Especially since right after it happens Taylor says love is more powerful than a Passion Fairy’s anger.

However, Barbie and Raquelle’s moment of understanding each other pales in comparison to Taylor and Carrie’s relationship. The two are unquestionably close, never out of the other’s sight. However, the thing that made them read as most romantically involved to me wasn’t anything they did on screen: it was Princess Gracellia’s past history with them. When three people are close friends and two of them become so close they cut the third person out without realising they’ve upset them at all, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re dating, but any time I personally can say that I really lost a friend, it was a variation on that story. I’ve seen it in other people, and much to my disgust almost any time someone brings up that this is a problem, the blame falls on the “third wheel” for not realising that romantic love is obviously more important than any of their previous friendships, and suggesting that if they were emotionally mature they would just go off and fine someone to snog themselves, thus becoming a fully realised romantic being.

Okay, none of the romantic part of the last paragraph was textual, and I am definitely projecting at least a little bit; but this is a recurring theme across media, and it sucks, and I enjoy the fact I can avoid it. Yet another reason I have watched all the Barbie movies.

Ace Appeal:  4/10 I suppose this needs to be said at least once, and since this one is getting posted first, it’s a natural choice to get this disclaimer out of the way. No, I don’t think that anyone in Mattel offices ever stops and says, “Hang on. Does the plot of this children’s movie appeal to the sensibilities of adult asexuals?” However, I’m pretty sure there is some variation on “Not all kids like romance, and most parents want to keep the romance their kids see in media to be on the tame side, so we’ll have to pay attention to how much romance we put in and how it’s handled.” However, as an adult asexual, it is always freaking refreshing to have characters interested in something besides The Sex™, and the best place I have found to seek that is in children’s media.

In a movie aimed at adults, one would usually establish the main romantic couple with kissing, steamy stares, and other things that make your friends not want your partner hang out with the rest of the group. Or, in the case of The Airzone Solution, goosing your partner while she’s having a conversation with someone else, making her voice go up so high I finally recognise Nicola Bryant without her fake American accent. (by the way, if you’re looking for movies with asexual appeal, The Airzone Solution is not one of them.)

This is the face of a man who cannot unwatch The Airzone Solution.

Also, in a movie aimed at adults, no one can end in the same romantic relationship that they started in, which Barbie can avoid because the character of Ken cannot exist in a vacuum: Ken is Barbie’s boyfriend (the Barbie Vlogs/Dreamhouse Adventures timeline notwithstanding; especially given that there really is no question that in that particular timeline “Karbie is endgame” as the kids say.), all personality traits are related to this. If Ken appears in a Barbie movie, we know he already is Barbie’s boyfriend because Barbie is a wish fulfilment fantasy for young girls: As many rewarding careers as they like, a steady relationship with someone who adores them, a large group of friends, pretty much any material goods they can think of at their fingertips, and of course, magical powers. This, quite frankly, is why Barbie works as a woman somewhere in her twenties or thirties and why she doesn’t make as much sense when people try to age her down into a teenager. Seriously. That’s what Skipper is for. How can Barbie have a sixteen-year-old little sister if she herself is sixteen? It doesn’t make sense. But I’m getting off-topic.

This is a kids’ movie, so we establish that Ken and Barbie are dating by having them being adorable duelling with spoons over ice cream sundaes. And that’s why I’ve watched every Barbie movie ever made.

As I mentioned before, the subplot with Gracellia feeling cut out of Taylor and Carrie’s relationship feels very familiar to anyone whose friends distanced themselves for their all-important romance. And while this could happen to anyone, being dropped out of your alloromantic/allosexual friends’ lives when they discover dating is one of the most recognisable and most terrible parts of the asexual/aromantic experience. Does this mean that any of the characters present as asexual or aromantic? As usual, not necessarily. Gracellia clearly isn’t aromantic. But, also as usual, “I’ve been there! It sucks!” is a common step in headcanoning a character as ace. And even if they aren’t, it’s still relatable. We also see a happily married middle-aged couple, Reena and Graylen. Narratively, they exist to show that a marriage between a fairy and a human can work, but I could have seen way more of them being cute. But I like cute old married couples. Which may be weird for someone desperately looking for characters in any form of media who actually like their love interests and stay with them through the entire story instead of breaking up to add more drama. Anyone who has had their friends start dating knows that couples do not need to be breaking up to cause drama.

Graylen’s character design is almost exactly like the advisor in the Fairytopia series. You might not expect “older black fairy with gray muttonchops and friendly advice” to be a stock character in Barbie films, but there he is. Often, Barbie movies do not have a full mouth kiss in them. If there is, that is often because there’s a wedding ceremony. This is an example of the latter. The couple who isn’t married at the end, however, express their love by trying not to be married against their will. Still, no matter how relatable all of this is to an asexual, it does end in a very Midsummer Night’s Dream everyone paired off sort of way.

Entourage:  6/10

Raquelle- Those familiar with Life in the Dreamhouse already know Raquelle as Barbie’s self-proclaimed rival and a twisty bitch who lives for drama, making her one of the most enjoyable characters to watch. She has a different voice actress here, which can throw you a little. Especially if you’re trying to remember which My Little Pony voice actress has replaced her Life in the Dreamhouse voice actress.

Taylor- Ginger shoe fairy with a pink dress and a posh accent. Mostly responsible for the “tell Barbie the truth, go to Gloss Angeles, and rescue Ken” plan. 

Carrie- Brunette purse fairy with a purple dress. Probably the slower of the two. That said, even though she supplies much of the comic relief, it doesn’t stem from her being stupid, it stems from her never-emptying purse of visual gags. By the end, Carrie’s jokes have started to grate on Raquelle:

“I think this time I’ve got a home run!”

“Enough! It’s going to be a baseball bat, right?”

Art Style: 5/10 I’ll admit this isn’t my favourite era of Barbie movies as far as animation is concerned. The faces aren’t as emotive as some of the other styles of animation. Raquelle for one makes up for this with full-body sarcasm. The architecture in Gloss Angeles is really the highlight of the film’s visuals: with large amounts of sparkling crystal and gold curlicues putting one in mind of a jewellery box with it’s contents spilling out. Particularly in the fight scene between Ken and Zane, where they recreate the “Duel” bit from that 90s Gladiators show where the contenders sand on an elevated platform and hit each other with what appear to be large fancy cotton buds. The only difference is that the contenders have wings. The architecture is shown off nicely in the “welcome to Gloss Angeles” montage. Unlike films like a Mermaid Tale, they did not feel the need to put dozens of puns in this sequence, they just put wings on everything they could think of—dogs, cats, handbags, coffee cups, shopping bags…

Plot: 7/10 The plot takes place within the “Life in the Dreamhouse” continuity: Barbara Roberts is a highly successful celebrity who lives in Malibu with her three younger sisters, is dating her longtime boyfriend Kenneth Carson, and has a close group of friends, including Rochelle who openly hates all of them (barring Ken) but remains part of the social circle.

A jealous fairy named Crystal feeds Princess Graciella, ruler of the fairies, a love potion which makes he fall in love with Ken. Graciella kidnaps Ken and declares she will marry him that very day. Zane, Graciella’s previous boyfriend and also a fairy, challenges Ken to three successive duels as Ken tries to back out of this. Barbie and Rochelle, rival film stars, come to Ken’s rescue, aided by two fairies who have been living in the human world disguised as humans and working as Barbie’s personal stylists.

The whole thing feels a lot like Barbie does Comedia del Arte, which I love. A love square that is resolved with two couples at the end, a love potion, over the top comedic figures, a lovesick woman declaring she will marry someone she just met, the upper class characters being saved by the complex planning of their clever servants; if you accept personal stylists as the modern equivalent of a tiring maid.

Zane is probably the main reason I keep thinking Comedia del Arte when I’m watching this. And it’s not just that he has the same accent as el Captaino (a stock figure in Comedia del Arte. The foreign captain who is usually a comedic rival for the young lover). In his first scene, he challenges Ken to three successive duels: “So, you think I am not bold enough for two duels? For that, I challenge you to a third duel!” “Why not? I wasn’t doing anything after the second one anyway.”

I can’t help but think about how the plot would have been different if princess Graciella had drunk the love potion three seconds earlier and fallen in love with Rochelle instead of Ken. “I have to save my frienemy who has just graduated from pain in the ass to total bitch.” would have been a very different story to “I need to save my boyfriend.”  

The whole thing is a mess of consent and lack thereof. Crystal puts a spell on Graciella so she becomes obsessed with Ken, Graciella puts a spell on Ken so that a marriage proposal comes out of his mouth, much to his horror. And, if the whole “Comedia del Arte” thing hadn’t been running through my head the entire time, the fact that it pretty much starts and ends like A Midsummer Night’s Dream would have done it: Someone gives the queen of the fairies a love potion. She falls in love with the worst possible option. Humans get involved. The two romantic couples are sorted back into their ideal combination, the fairies convince the humans it was all really a dream. Even Carrie and Taylor reminding the audience of the secret at the end puts me in mind of Puck’s final speech.

The plot would have gotten a higher score if it hadn’t been for one plothole that seems to grow and shrink the more I examine it: Crystal was in love with Zane, but he was in love with Graciella. So she gets her hands on a love potion and uses it on… not Zane. I guess thought if he wasn’t in a relationship he would pick her on his own. Perhaps she wanted “real love” and was prepared to give her princess a chemically assisted version. We will never know.

Character design:  6/10

It’s not unusual for the cast to be wearing their best costumes in the final act of a Barbie film, but in this case this was achieved by putting most of them in fairly ugly outfits for most of the action.

The costuming was quite up to standards in the last fifteen minutes, but that leaves us with fifty seven minutes of unnecessary peplum to account for. 

Raquelle and Barbie appear in formal gowns for the red carpet premiere:

Raquelle wears a one-shoulder purple and blue gown with a lettuce edged wrap skirt with a high-low hem, simple blue teardrop earrings, and some excellent shoes.

As usual, Raquelle is quickly upstaged by Barbie, who wears a ruby pink bodice with a peplum hem over a bright violet mermaid skirt. These are accessorised with rhinestone rose jewellery and silver pumps, although the shoes are only revealed when Raquelle rips the back of her dress up to her thighs.

While these gowns only show up in the first scene, they are easily the best looks they wear in the film, which is understandable as they are the dresses worn by the dolls. The doll look sort of reappears at the start of the final act, where Barbie and Raquelle transform into their winged form from the dolls, which is the tops from their red carpet gowns on cocktail dresses.

Barbie’s rose peplum top melts much more pleasingly into the three flounces of her miniskirt, while Raquelle has a flounced A-line miniskirt with the slightest edge of silver and pink petticoats peeking out the bottom. A silver ruffle accents her neckline and compliments her wide silver belt. The looks are finished in both cases with those curling vine heels that Mattel was putting on all the fairy dolls in the early aughts. This is such a breath of good taste after their “normal” outfits from the main part of the film. 

After the premiere, the human characters really get the short end of the stick as far as costumes are concerned, and while I can see how it was important to make the humans visually distinct from the fairies, even when everyone is wearing “clip on” wings.

Raquelle spends most the movie in cobalt blue knee-length trumpet dress and a pink polka dot mini sweatshirt; which frankly should never have happened. The effect is completed with strappy silver heels which barely do not reach the end of leatherette black leggings. Sadly, the effect is “I dressed Barbie first and these are all the doll clothes I have left over”.

Barbie’s main look seems to be doing everything it can to keep a knee-length jean trumpet skirt with pink stitching from ruining the rest of the outfit. This is done with a pink and white striped tee and a half-sleeve black jacket. I don’t want to be too hard on this look, I’ll admit, because I can see my sister wearing something like that, but hopefully a more flattering cut of skirt.

But then again, I’ve always hated trumpet miniskirts; I hated them when they were in style, I hate  them now that they aren’t, and I hate the fact I owned two because that’s what was for sale at Walmart in the mid 2000s and I hadn’t taken to making most of my own clothing yet. I called them “crotch ruffle skirts”. I was a bitch in high school.

 Miss Roxelle appears very briefly in a tasteful white and gold two piece pencil skirt suit. As a fashion designer and the older fairy who they come to for help, it makes sense that she has a classy, mature vibe.  

For the wedding, Ken gets a fashion upgrade from “we put him in a plaid shirt to make him look more heterosexual” (which was kind of ruined by the teal and metallic gold palette) to “one of those really tacky heterosexual wedding toppers” for the wedding scene. The horror of someone tied up and being forced to marry someone they barely know is somewhat diminished by the image of groomsmen elbowing each other and chuckling, “As usual, am I right, men?” That said, matching the pattern on his lapels to the pattern on his wings was a nice touch.

Crystal takes the purple/green slightly alternative route in villain costume design: fingerless gloves, cropped vest, stripy skirt, asymmetrical bob, purple leggings and black ankle boots.

And interestingly, she is the only fairy who presents as a girl who has dragonfly wings. I’m not going to say that this means Crystal is transgender, but I am definitely going to be thinking about that for a while. Part of me thinks, “Sure, why not, that’s probably going to happen in fairy society as much as human”, and part of me thinks, “Usually it’s the heroes or sidekicks in Barbie movies that get queercoded.” So let’s just move past Crystal’s boyish wings.

I spend a lot of time Graciellla is on screen trying to figure out how her hair is accomplished. Like most Barbie characters, it looks physically possible so that it can be recreated on a doll. It looks as if two French braids were started on her head, then the loose hair was tucked under itself, a little bit like a rolled chingon.

It probably is related to the fact her standard outfit is pretty basic: a petal pink strapless cocktail dress with a rose pink sash. It’s accessorised with a mess of pink rhinestone jewellery to set off her tiara.

Zane starts off in a fantasy style purple vest and striped jeans in a desaturated purple palette: The gold trim and collar pushes it towards the high fantasy fairies were meant to be, but it appears that halfway down the design they realised that they wanted it to be reflective of modern fashion and gave him pinstriped jeans. Don’t get me wrong, I love purple pinstriped jeans, I own purple pinstripe jeans, but they don’t go with his top. High fantasy and mid-2000s fashion are hard looks to marry, and I’m objecting to this example. Now, I could have forgiven him for wearing knee-high boots and cuffing his trousers to show them off, if they weren’t striped jeans and black combat boots. He’s half pirate and a half “I just came from a Green Day concert”. And he tries so hard to make it work. Wearing the exact same outfit in white and gold to his wedding was a choice. Once of several stupid choices made by Zane over the course of this movie.

Zane goes full Star Trek Next Gen for his combat jumpsuit: And honestly, I kind of love it. The gold and cobalt blue set each other off beautifully, the wide gold stripes down Zane’s legs, the elegantly tooled golden breastplate, the spirals of gold coming up his boots to the wide gold edging.

We actually see the slits the back of Zane’s jacket when he gets on his knees to propose to Graciella, and all of the feminine fairies (except for Crystal, as mentioned before) are wearing tube tops and off-the shoulder dresses so that they can dress without damaging their wings. But it appears that his wings are emerging from narrow slits in the back of his vest. Which might account for why the masculine fairies have smaller, narrower wings; more like a dragonfly than a butterfly. And it might also account for why Crystal has dragonfly wings and a cropped vest.

Finally, we have Taylor and Carrie, who ride the line between fantasy fashion and human fashion by wearing some fairly simple, “this looks like a doll” dresses. They also look far more like a “set” than any other characters because while their outfits look different, they are comprised out of the same basic elements: A dress with a fitted satin bodice, capped sleeves, and a flounced circle skirt accessorised with a short bead necklace, simple earrings, a headband and a side ponytail. The only real difference between them is their magical focuses:

Carrie, being a purse fairy, has a glittery doctor-style handbag; so called because the frame opens out like an old doctor’s visiting bag, not because like the Tardis it is bigger on the inside. Though both are true. Taylor has magenta glitter peek-toe platforms with knee-high laces with wings on the heel and rosettes on the toe. Raquelle admits, “If I had to trust my life to one pair of shoes, it would be those.” as Taylor chirps: “The more fabulous my shoes, the stronger my magic!” Me too, buddy, me too.

Music:  3/10

There is really only the main theme, Can You Keep a Secret? which plays over the opening and closing credits. It’s peppy, it’s happy, it’s not so stupid you’re grating your teeth, but ultimately it’s pretty forgettable. It serves its purpose and allows the story to move on. It plays again during the “welcome to Gloss Angeles” montage.

Animal companion:  4/10 Halfway through the movie, Pegaponies show up and help the humans with their difficulty in flying with clip-on wings. The pegaponies show up, transport the main characters to the palace, and are never heard from again. They do not talk or exhibit greater than animal intelligence, but however they do greatly advance the Rochelle and Barbie friendship plot by allowing the two of them to discuss how their relationship, and their animosity, formed. All pegaponies are recolours of the same mesh: a stocky, small horse with a striped mane and sparkly lace-like wings. The heroes all ride sidesaddle, partially because they’re all in dresses and partially because they all have wings themselves. While I usually subscribe to the less-is-more approach to pets in Barbie movies, in this case more might have been more.

Antagonists:  7/10 Zane- Since Barbie has Raquelle, it only makes sense that Ken gets someone who declares himself his rival as Ken protests that they aren’t actually pursuing the same goal. And like Raquelle, Zane is over the top and hilarious. He’s probably my favourite part of the movie. Graciellla – Crown Princess of Gloss Angeles, because “queen” sounds evil unless you’ve got a kid. While she isn’t exactly a bad person, she spends most of the film trying to force someone who isn’t in love with her to marry her. Actually, that is in fact pretty bad, but it is slightly mitigated by the fact she’s under a love spell. Remember kids, love spells aren’t consent! She spreads the awful cycle of “fairies don’t need no consent” by magicing a proposal out of Ken’s mouth inbetween his protestations to let him go. So, even though she changes her plan as soon as she’s not under a spell, she still has the whole “I’m an immoral fairy who really doesn’t care how much I mess up human lives” thing going on, which I also enjoy. Kids have to learn to fear the fey sooner or later. Crystal- From her arm-warmers to her stripes, here’s the soft grunge girl here to punish the preps for existing. Well, to punish everyone around her for the sorry state of her love life. Unrequited love stinks. Of course, what makes her a villain instead a tragic hero is that she is perfect content to ruin as many lives as it takes to get what she wants. Again, fairies tend to be amoral. Raquelle- Only an antagonist in that she remains Barbie’s self-proclaimed rival, and pain in the rear, even as she joins her quest to save Ken. To be fair, at no point does Raquelle stop thinking of herself as Ken’s friend. Partnering with a rival to save a mutual friend is probably Raquelle’s most antihero moment across all media she appears in. So while there’s a lot of antagonists, ranging from rivals to villains to “manic force of nature” I would have a difficult time saying, “You know what movie has some great antagonists? A Fairy Secret.” Although it definitely gets points for variety.

Doll Tie-in:  4/10

Comparing the doll commercial to the movie, I get the feeling that the people making the commercial hadn’t been given the plot to the movie before writing the script for the advertisement.

Personally, as someone who just genuinely likes dolls, I don’t like the moulded on bodices, since they limit the number of dresses you can put over them. I get the idea that the moulded on swimsuits are to give the dolls some vestige of dignity when the girls are leaving them undressed.

As for “transforming dresses”, the Fairy Secret dolls all have variations on the “skirt folds out into wings” gimmick.

This was also the period where the doll designers decided that plastic moulded curlicue laces going all up a doll’s shins said “fairy fashion”, and that, I’ll admit, I like.

At least the faces have better moulds than the characters in the films.

[xkaylinh]

Concert Diary: Mitski at the Wiltern on November 7, 2018

As I was waiting in line to get in, I thought, maybe I’m experiencing a bit of concert going fatigue. Not fatigue from the concerts themselves, but fatigue from going to concerts. The paying for parking and then parking at the Metro station, taking the Metro subway, finding a place to pee, walking around exploring, finding and walking to a restaurant, walking to the venue, waiting to get in, waiting for the show to start, waiting in between acts, all the standing in large crowds. This was the me time that I longed for, yet I found myself oftentimes irritatedly looking at the clock on my phone every few minutes when I’d run out of things to look at on my social media feeds.

Having explored the area on my previous two trips to the Wiltern, I was feeling very lazy, so I left home a little later than usual, leaving just enough time to eat before getting in line. I decided on a sushi bar just across the street from the venue. It was reasonably priced for Japanese food, and therefore a bit more expensive than my usual pre-show meals. I’d arrived during their happy hour, but I don’t drink, so. The food was good. It was not lost on me that I had Japanese food before seeing Mitski, who is Japanese American.

I feel like waiting outside the Wiltern I’m more likely to encounter solicitors. There was one woman asking for donations to feed the poor and handing out peace-sign stickers. I lied and said I had no cash on me, then wondered if that made me a bad person. At least this time there were no old Asian men holding up signs and blasting bible verses from their speakers. There were a few hot dog vendors around, the ones you’d often see outside the LA Convention Center during Anime Expo.

This wasn’t my first time at the Wiltern, but since it’s my first post about it, I’ll just explain briefly what I like about the place. The standing floor has levels, so if you’re not too enthused about getting one of the few wristbands to get into the pit, you can stand a bit further back and a bit higher up, or even more further back and even more higher up, which is good for seeing over people’s heads. The walls and ceiling are beautifully decorated with colorful and intricate carvings. Mitski herself mentioned, “someone is behind that, someone did that,” so we should take a moment to look at our surroundings after the show.

I’d initially stood at my usual spot, the wall at the first level from the pit, but then I thought, it’s Mitski!, so I got myself a green wristband to replace my white one and made my way into the pit. There was only one row of people between me and the stage. I was a bit to the left of center, and there was this tall guy in front and to the left of me, and a floor speaker front and center of the stage, which somewhat blocked my view of the right side of the stage, but it wasn’t as bad as some other shows where I had to peep between the heads of two tall dudes the entire time.

The openers, The Overcoats, were a pair of women in, um, overcoats. They harmonized with each other not unlike Garfunkel and Oates. One would occasionally play a riff or two on her guitar, while the other would hit some notes on the keys, but usually they were dancing, with minimal choreography. They were even flossing at one point, which was beyond adorable. For me, the highlight of their set, however, was their drummer in the back, who used a mixture of acoustic drums and an electric drum pad. I’m not too into electro-pop at the moment, so I don’t really see myself returning to their music any time soon, but seeing her play those beats live was really something else. For the last song, they had a couple of wind instrumentalists come up to join them, which was quite special and unexpected.

This was my second time seeing Mitski, but it was a very different experience. For one thing, she’s not playing an instrument like she usually does. Instead, the entire set is a performance art piece with choreography throughout each song; sometimes certain movements are repeated from one song to another. Usually, like when Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast does it, you’d expect that when the lead singer drops their instrument, it leads to a more intimate experience, the singer interacting with the audience and walking back and forth randomly on the stage. Here, though, the opposite is true: through the perfect choreography, Mitski effectively puts up a facade, reminding us that she is portraying a persona through her songs, rather than singing as herself. However, this facade--with its frantic hand movements and distraught facial expressions, its sometimes crawling and rolling around with flailing limbs on the floor, its walking back and forth, sometimes slow and graceful, sometimes rushed and desperate--really brings out the emotion of the songs, enhances them in a way that, while the sounds make you want to dance, Mitski’s mesmerizing performance reminds you that these songs are really, really depressing. For two songs towards the end, Mitski brought out the acoustic guitar and revealed to us that the old Mitski we know and love never left, she was here with us all along, thinly veiled by the persona she was portraying.

The set list consisted of the majority of her newest album Be the Cowboy, plus a few staples from her previous two albums, with one surprise being the song she closed with: the first track of her second album. Everyone sounded amazing, especially Mitski, whose vocals really captured the intense longing and one-sided adoration of the new album’s persona. The band members kept to their stations, because Mitski’s performance took up the whole entire stage, using her  mic stand, at at one point a chair, as props. There were three screens, on which images were projected for some songs, a few recurring themes being window shades, city lights, and a sort of dizzying spiral. The lighting seemed like an experiment in contrasts: songs that I’d personally expected would warrant more sunny oranges and yellows were met with blues and purples.

Mitski would take some breaks during the performance to talk to the audience and thank everyone involved in putting on the show and everyone for coming. One couple pushed their way to the front of the pit (right next to me) so that they could hand Mitski flowers; she gracefully turned them down at first, returning for them before the last song of her encore. At one point, she thanked the audience for coming to her shows and allowing her to do what she loves for a living.

The merch line was super long after the show. I already bought Be the Cowboy on Amazon, so I figured, I could always buy her other albums online if I ever felt so inclined, even though half of me was like, GIVE MITSKI ALL YOUR MONEY.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp5p4i4hq5B/

[forest-of-stories]

“They Won’t Let You Remember”: Obsession Before Fandom

[This is another round of extremely personal spelunking into my own fannish past that I sometimes do on this and other platforms, including Dreamwidth, which is where I first posted it.  Content warning for digressions into Fannish Discourse, and also brains - mostly mine - conflating fiction and reality in sometimes unhealthy ways.]

Not long ago, my mom asked me on the phone if I was aware that a new Men in Black movie would be out later this year. I told her that I knew, and added, “If I see it with other humans, they might have to hear how the original was one of the root causes of my mind control feelings.” Not the root cause, I should emphasize: those feelings could have come from any number of sources, but that number is probably greater than “one.” We both knew why she had brought up this particular franchise. There is a file cabinet in my childhood bedroom that once contained many, many handwritten stories – some co-written with middle school classmates, though most of them weren’t – that featured the titular secret organization, the protectors of the Earth from the scum of the universe, as the bad guys. I wrote those in order to deal with the sharp turn that my already present Mind Control Feelings took when a silly science fiction comedy featuring giant space bugs encouraged me to root for characters who maintained the status quo by erasing memories from ordinary people – people like me – on a regular basis. Some of you might be asking, “Wait, you knew it was only a movie, right?” And my answer would be, “Yes, but…” Since time and emotional distance have both clarified and obscured my understanding of how I used to think and behave, here is the best (and probably most long-winded) way that I can answer that question for both myself and others: I was an imaginative and overwhelmingly anxious child. On the one hand, my imaginative side desperately wanted magic and aliens and Weird Stuff to be real, which I still don’t think was always a bad thing. On the other hand, during my preteen and teenage years, my anxiety (which wouldn’t be linked to a diagnosis until much later in my life) manifested as “what if?” scenarios that were at least as convincing as reality… even if they were based in speculative fiction. Even if I didn’t believe that they would happen, I spent a lot of time telling myself stories about what might happen if they did, or even just thinking, “What if this is how the world is supposed to work, even if I don’t like it or want it and you can’t make me?” So, although I knew the difference between fiction and reality by the age of twelve, knew that Men in Black was Only A Movie, my “what if?” reflex kicked in hard the more I recognized its world as being much closer enough to my own than my previous, limited encounters with memory erasure in fiction. According to the rules of that world, if the Weird Stuff were real, I wouldn’t even know, and, according to the text, shouldn’t know. “Wasn’t the next line of the theme song ‘They won’t let you remember’?” Older Sister asked, the last time we talked about it. Yes. Yes, it was. The immediacy is right there in the song’s refrain (which, by the way, is still an earworm and a half). At one point, Tommy Lee Jones’ veteran agent character insists that, while Earth is constantly under extraterrestrial threat, humans can only live our lives peacefully if we don’t know about it. (Keeping in mind that humans do a pretty solid job of threatening life on Earth ourselves, I feel like that statement is also linked to questions about the supposedly blissful ignorance of privilege, which go beyond the scope of this post, but are still worth mentioning.) Maybe I reacted so strongly to that bit of dialogue because I believed that it wasn’t true, or because I feared that it was. I’m pretty sure that it was the combination of that scene and its message, with my recurring issues around authority and self-control, and my growing self-awareness about my misbehaving brain, that set my anxious imagination spinning. I would guess that I was wondering something like, “What if the only way that I could have peace of mind was if somebody or something else edited my thoughts and memories without my knowledge or consent?” That idea scared me. It made me angry. And since I was not mature enough to have any filters or sense of other people’s boundaries, I talked – loudly and incoherently – to anybody who would listen, and quite a few people who wouldn’t, about how scared and angry it made me. A lot of the things that I said and did are now difficult for me to understand (one might almost say… alien), and I’m not sure whether they helped with my worries or just made them worse. I do know that this was neither the first nor the last work of fiction about which some of my loved ones told me to shut up because I was too obsessed, resulting in screaming fights, sneering mockery, and tears. I was also old enough, you see, to understand that I wasn’t responding to fiction in the same way that a lot of my peers were, and to, perhaps, start feeling like there was something wrong with me. Not that this was enough to shut me, in fact, up. But I did something else, too: I started to write the stories that I mentioned above. Some of my point-of-view characters were disillusioned agents, others were characters from other media that I enjoyed; the more sources I could pull from, and the more surreal I could make the mix, the happier I was. Still other POV characters were authorial avatars who started out as innocent bystanders and narrowly escaped having their memories wiped. (A few of those self-insert fantasies also involved my earliest fictional crush, who just happened to be an alien from a certain book series that I loved at the time. I quite happily imagined scenarios in which my very knowledge of his true nature was forbidden and yet our love conquered all in the end, but I never put any of those scenarios on paper. I kind of wish I had.) Some of the storylines fizzled out after a few chapters, while others ended with my protagonists riding off into the sunset with their minds, for the time being, safe. I should stress that even my writing wasn't necessarily integrated into my life in a healthy way: I scribbled during my classes (yes, I got caught at least once), I wrote scenarios that crossed the line from nonsensical into offensive (why so many “man in a dress” jokes, younger self? Why even one?), and I buttonholed friends and classmates as audiences and even collaborators despite their probably being much less interested than I was. Even though I was discovering a third option besides “shut up forever” and “shut up never,” it would take several more years, at least two more obsessions, and the discovery of online fandom (I only somewhat knew what “online” was in the late 1990s, and “fandom” was nowhere near my vocabulary) before I sorted out the appropriate time and place for each of those options. But I was on my way there, even if I didn’t know what “there” was. When I questioned and pulled apart an established narrative to turn the heroes into villains and shine a light on viewpoints that I thought the original creators had overlooked, I was writing fanfiction, whether I knew it or not. When I finally did find my way to fandom communities, it was thanks to the Harry Potter books, whose world-building also relies on what TV Tropes calls “The Masquerade.” (If you look up the page for that trope, guess whose quote is right at the top? Yeah.) Which led me to recognize it in certain versions of X-Men, and The Incredibles, and Torchwood and The Vampire Diaries and and and… The more I saw of organized efforts to conceal the existence of Weird Stuff from the Oblivious Masses, the more I understood that the audience was meant to feel like we were in on the secret, but I couldn’t stop sympathizing with the people who weren’t. I still dislike and distrust that trope to this day, even in works that I otherwise enjoy, and storylines involving memory erasure – consensual or not, narratively endorsed or not – still push both good and bad buttons, sometimes both at once. And I believe that my explorations of mind control in fiction, from the beginning until now, have partly been informed by questions like, “What if I couldn’t trust my own mind, and was asked to believe that this was for my own good and/or the good of society?” And, since it bears mentioning: I hope that nobody interprets this recollection as, “A storytelling device warped Nevanna’s understanding of reality, and therefore stories can reprogram people’s behaviors and problematic fiction should be eliminated!” First of all, I object to that kind of black-and-white thinking, as a librarian, a writer, and someone who tries to thoughtfully consume media. Secondly, it’s more accurate that the dysfunction in my own brain once warped my understanding of reality; that even then, I was still responsible for my own actions; and although I have a history of giving fictional constructs an unhealthy amount of power over my own life, I grew out of it. And even though I have mixed feelings about the debate over Problematic Fiction, and I certainly do not condone harassment and shaming – because I’ve been there and done that, on both sides – I try to maintain that it is not my place to stop people from having negative emotions about stories. Even if I don’t agree, even when their objections make me uncomfortable, I can disagree with what they’re saying or doing without invalidating what they might be feeling. And I try to be better at doing so, because I am the last person in the world to deny that stories spark powerful emotions and thoughts, that sometimes they go against the creators’ intentions. Part of becoming a responsible consumer of media and participant in fandom is learning to manage those emotions constructively and make space for other people’s feelings and needs. I used to be angry at my younger self for being unable or unwilling to do that. I’m not anymore. That said, one of the differences between preteen Nevanna and thirty-something Nevanna is that nobody has to hear me talk about mind control unless they want to. (Although I’m happy that a noticeable number of people usually seem to want to.) I never saw the original Men in Black in the movie theater. I think it took me several tries (much to Younger Sister’s frustration) to sit through it on home video, and the ghost of who I was back then, as much as if not more than the actual content, has kept me from revisiting the 1997 movie in the intervening years. If I wanted to watch it again, I think that I would want (and here I'll paraphrase a fantasy series, also about aliens, that more or less avoids the Masquerade altogether) to prepare myself emotionally. I still haven’t watched the sequels or had much interest in doing so, and I never posted any fanfiction set in that universe. It has occurred to me that I might end up writing fic for the 2019 reimagining, if I see it (it wouldn’t be the first time in the recent past that I revisited fictional worlds from my childhood in new and surprising ways). But if I do write anything – and maybe even if I don’t – I will continue to feel pity and compassion and gratitude for the twelve-year-old believer in Weird Stuff who heard, “They won’t let you remember,” and responded, “What if I did anyway?”

[squirenonny]

Clone Shiro Theory in Season 5

Okay, so this mess was inspired by talking with several people on Tumblr and discord about the Clone Shiro Theory in the wake of Season 5, as well as seeing posts in the fandom tags. And...I’ve noticed some common themes in arguments against this theory.

Please note that this is not meant to be a direct rebuttal to anyone, more... working out for myself why I’m so convinced that Shiro is a clone because I’ve got all these nebulous thoughts running around in my head and I need to organize them somehow. So feel free to read, respond, reblog, ect, but also feel free to ignore this completely if Clone Shiro isn’t your thing.

Season 5 spoilers and a very long post under the cut.

I’m going to break this down into three parts:

I. Why a clone and not something else (mind control, magical spyware, ect)

II. Why I won’t accept anything but clones at this point without crying foul

III. Clone Shiro vs Galra Keith

I. Why a clone?

I think at this point there’s no way to deny that something happened to Shiro in Operation Kuron. We’ve seen Haggar spying through him, the headaches are a recurring theme, and his behavior has changed to the point that he’s going behind his team’s back and lashing out at the team in ways he hasn’t before.

With most of the proof, you can make several arguments. Haggar’s mind-controlling him directly, but he still is Shiro. Haggar’s spyware is giving him headaches that’s making him more testy than usual, but he’s still acting under his own free will. Ect. But I think there is enough evidence to give the clone theory specifically an edge over other explanations.

Shiro’s hair grew roughly a foot during his captivity between seasons 2 and 3. There’s no clear answer on how long this was, but it seems like a fairly short time period. At the start of the season, Keith is still raw over Shiro’s disappearance, and though they’ve done a few missions without Shiro, they haven’t run up against anything that required Voltron. Which... considering how often they form Voltron both before and after this period, suggest to me that we’re talking a time frame of weeks at the longest. Then episodes 1-3 happen in pretty quick succession, with the lion switch and Keith immediately charging off, almost out of spite. We pick up with Shiro a day or two before episode 3 (which is where Shiro finds Voltron and then loses them.) He spends another week chasing them before Keith and Black find him. All told, this is probably in the realm of one month since his disappearance, maybe two. For reference, human hair grows on average half an inch per month. Shiro is shown to have significantly more hair growth in this time frame than anyone else gets in the entire series--even people who have been prisoners for extended amounts of time. Matt and Sam each get maybe a few inches, and Shiro’s hair was kept short during his stint in the Arena. This tells me that Shiro’s hair growth for The Journey is not an artist’s exaggeration to show that he’s had it rough. If it is, then it’s sloppy, and the animators on this show are typically pretty attentive to detail. If this is intentional, I can only conclude that Shiro has been in captivity for far longer than the timeline allows and/or the clone was grown in a short time and the accelerated growth also affected his hair.

Calling attention to the difference between Shiro(s1-2) and Shiro(s3+). These, I’ll admit, are more suspicious than damning, but they’re worth mentioning. The animators made a deliberate decision to give Shiro a new look after his return. We’ve seen people in different outfits, and Allura has a few different hairstyles (up, down, mice poofs), but no one has changed their “default” outfit like Shiro has, only their armor or other special outfits (pajamas, swimsuits, ect), and no one has gotten a new haircut, except Pidge (in backstory, as a plot point) and Sam and Matt (compare to Shiro on the Kerberos mission vs post-escape in s1.) They want you to be able to tell the difference between Shiro 1 and Shiro 2. At the same time, they call attention to this change by having Shiro comment about his “weird headache.” The writers also made a point of having the Galra refer to Shiro differently in the context of Operation Kuron (Subject Y0XT39 vs Prisoner 117-9875.) From a writing standpoint, this is a strange choice--not necessarily significant, but likely so because both designations are mentioned in passing and without context, so tossing both out there without reason is more confusing than world-building. And in-universe, it tells us that the people in charge of Operation Kuron couldn’t or didn’t want to refer to prisoners by their already-assigned number. Possibly this is for internal organization--i.e. if not all subjects were prisoners or if they had completely random prisoner numbers. But if it is clones, they would need new ways to identify them, since they’d all have the same prisoner ID. Again, not proof, but suspicious.

Shiro appeared in the Voltron bond. And it seems as though the Shiro with the team didn’t. Not just his head is fuzzy about it. He wasn’t there. Did you notice how Shiro-in-the-bond was translucent, only seen from a distance, and almost completely lacking in detail in the head area? Maybe to obscure the fact that he has his old haircut (both from us and from Lance)? Did you notice that he didn’t appear with everyone else, and how desperate he was to communicate with his team? There are two Shiros. The only question is whether the distinction is physical (clones) or mental (mind control with the real Shiro’s mind completely suppressed by Haggar’s persona)

Following up on this point, Shiro himself is questioning things. If this was a case of mind control, of Haggar taking over Shiro’s body, there is no way she would allow her puppet to question his own identity. If she has direct control, she certainly wouldn’t mention it to Lance, and if the real Shiro is still in there waiting to take his body back, she absolutely would put safeguards in to make sure her controlled personality stays in place.

And of course, the single biggest argument in favor of Clone Shiro: Operation Kuron = literally, “Operation Clone.” This can’t be a coincidence. It can’t. With everyone working on the show (how many of whom are anime fans and have at least a rudimentary familiarity with Japanese pronunciation?), and with Lauren Montgomery having talked about how Laith is a much better ship name for Keith and Lance, because Laith means Lion, I do not believe that they accidentally chose a name for this major plot point that means “clone” in Japanese (which is either Shiro’s native language or at least connected to his heritage.) I also don’t believe that it was chosen as a red herring to make us think this is all about clones when it really isn’t, because the target audience (which is, what 8-12 year olds?) will not pick up on that hint. It fails as a distraction for the core demographic, which makes me think it’s far more likely that it was meant as an easter egg and the writers didn’t necessarily intend for people to pick up on it. It’s like... This post about English name symbolism in FMA. It’s a clever nod to character traits for people who are in the know, but then you give that same name to an English speaker and it’s almost laughably on the nose. For people who don’t speak Japanese (most of Voltron’s audience) and don’t have social media to point it out (unfortunately, comparatively little of the fanbase), “Operation Kuron” is a subtle nod. In a novel, where people likely won’t engage with the fandom until they’re finished, it would work. Hell, for people not actively engaged in fandom, it works. The problem is that we’ve had months upon months and the power of the internet, so now everyone knows that JK Rowling named her werewolf Wolfy McWolfenstein the Galra named their secret clone project Project Clone. That isn’t bad writing. It’s perfectly fine writing tossed to the wolves of a global fandom that loves to theorize.

(Also, I was curious, so I checked, and “Operation Kuron” is called the same thing in the Japanese dub, so lol if it’s not clones, Dreamworks is going to have some explaining to do.)

II. Why having the answer be “Not Clones” at this point would be bad writing

Okay, see, this is way more subjective than part I, which was already pretty subjective. But here’s the thing. Dreamworks has set up Clone Shiro, almost blatantly so. I can forgive the fact that this twist is obvious to the Tumblr fandom, at least, because (a) the show is for kids, so the foreshadowing has to be a little bit more obvious, and (b) you cannot judge subtlety based on thousands of people working together to figure things out. Most of the fandom figured out Galra Keith before season 2 dropped. Some people hated it, but then, some people were incredibly resistant to the Clone Shiro Theory--still are. It feels like everyone and their grandmother figured these twists out way in advance, but if you took away the part where we all screamed about it and laid out our arguments? If you somehow reached out to the viewers who aren’t involved in fandom? I’ll bet you good money that a lot fewer of them have picked up on the hints. (And if they have, they aren’t nearly as certain about it.)

But if we get to season 6 and suddenly find out Shiro has been Shiro all along, just with magic in his head letting Haggar watch him? I’m going to be disappointed, because that resolution is almost guaranteed to leave plot holes. How did Shiro get recaptured/how did he disappear from the Black Lion in the first place? Why did his hair grow so fast? What’s with the change in behavior (I’m not talking about the snappishness and arguing with Keith and Lance, I’m talking about directly undermining the very teamwork he’s been the single biggest proponent of from the start by going behind the team’s back again and again)? Why didn’t Black accept him at first? Why did he have to prove himself to her again, after they’d been more closely bonded than anyone? Why was the project named Operation Kuron? Why did Shiro see another, hollow-looking, him on the exam table in that flashback? Why hasn’t he used the bayard yet?

The show might explicitly answer some of these, but I think we all know by now that it won’t slow the pace long enough to explain all of them. The clone theory explains or implies answers to almost all of these (especially if you couple it with “the original Shiro is stuck in the astral plane” or some such.)

So, no. Clone Shiro isn’t a twist at this point. Maybe it’s just me, because I’m usually pretty good at picking up on foreshadowing and figure out most twists ahead of time, especially if I’m given time to ruminate. But I’m fine with not having big, shocking reveals. Something doesn’t have to be a surprise to be interesting. I don’t have to feel like I was clever for figuring it out. I can’t wait for season 6 because I’m desperate to know that both my sons (Shiro and Ryou) are going to be okay--because I think, at least, that the Shiro with the team right now is not being set up as a villain. He may become a martyr, but he’s meant to be sympathetic, regardless of where he came from.

In the end, I don’t mind that the Clone Shiro Theory seems obvious, because the foreshadowing is aimed at kids and the adult fandom is bound to pick up on those hints faster. And clones explain everything so well that I honestly don’t think any other answer would make for a satisfying conclusion to the Kuron arc.

III. Clone Shiro vs Galra Keith

Okay, now this is interesting, because these are the two main theories that the fandom swarmed. One turned out to be true, and I honestly think the other will be proven right in June.

Also interesting is that, in terms of episode count, they both are paced about the same. It’s just that the Galra Keith plot happened over the course of 1.5 full seasons, while the Operation Kuron plot is going on 3.5 half seasons. Same number of episodes, but more spread out and with more breaks in between. Galra Keith was dropped into a single seven-month gap with a growing fandom and then confirmed immediately with the next batch of episodes. Operation Kuron was introduced in August, fans jumped on it, season 4 dropped, the fandom was split on it (because, admittedly, s4 didn’t add anything to the argument that couldn’t be explained by trauma and/or mounting pressure on Shiro), fans wrote a shitton of Ryou hcs/fic and drew a lot of Ryou art, season 5 dropped, with major new developments but no confirmation, and now we’ve got another break. At the earliest, it will be confirmed or debunked in June, a full ten months after it was first hinted, and with three season breaks for people to theorize, create fanworks, and otherwise dig into Camp Clone.

Can you imagine if the first two seasons had been done like that? (Note: I know I’m fudging the midpoint of season 1 a little bit, but bear with me here. I want to do a thought experiment.)

Season 1: We get hints of Keith’s knife and the major red flag of Keith opening doors that have been implied to be species-locked, so Hunk has to use a Galra arm to get past one door in the same episode Keith uses Galra tech with no problems. There’s also the word of god that says Keith is an orphan, so speculation runs wild. The fandom is split, with a small but vocal group on Team Galra, a vocal opposition, and a whole bunch of people on Team “Can’t we just wait and see what the writers have in mind, guys? We don’t have to fight!”

Season “2″: Little movement on Galra Keith Theory specifically, and both sides have arguments for what little we do get. Are those purple patches the effect of Galra heritage or is that supposed to tell us Quintessence does freaky things? Does Zarkon’s, “You fight like a Galra soldier,” mean anything (and is there a comma there/does that change the meaning? I can only imagine the comma drama if that had been one of the only new points for debate after three months.) The only major development is explicit confirmation of the species lock on Galra tech. All this is exacerbated by growing concerns in the autistic fanbase who worry that Team Galra Keith is starting to twist the legitimate autistic traits to support their own theory. (Believe me, I was there, and I was scared of Galra Keith for a good long while because of this.) The debate starts to turn bitter.

Season “3″: Ulaz shows up, we see Keith’s knife, we have Keith worrying that Zarkon “imprinted” on him, and though nothing comes of that, it still says something that the writers are even willing to acknowledge the theory. The season ends with no clear answer, but by now most of the fandom is on Team Galra. There’s been fic. There’s been art. There are headcanons and metas galore. The evidence is all laid out, and there’s really no denying it at this point. Some people are angry about it, and lots of people are hoping for Altean Keith or something, just because it would still be a surprise.

Season “4″: The Galra Keith reveal happens in episode one or two, and literally no one is shocked. Some people are angry, everyone is pissed that there wasn’t more fallout after four seasons of buildup. But we all knew it was coming.

Think, in contrast, how the Clone Shiro Theory might have gone if we hadn’t switched to half seasons. (In a hypothetical world where the theory is true, and it’s getting revealed next season.)

Season 3 now covers everything through Naxzela. Operation Kuron is huge in fandom discussion, but it’s partially overshadowed by everything else that happened--Keith joining the Blade, Lotor’s offer of talks, Keith’s near sacrifice, Matt’s return... Fewer people are as adamant about the clone theory because we’ve already seen Shiro back in the Black Lion and fighting alongside the team. There are lingering doubts, and people still lay out all their arguments, but it’s less splitting hairs and more the broad range we saw with Galra Keith, from adamant arguments on either side to a broad, casual fanbase in the middle who doesn’t know if it’s gonna happen and honestly couldn’t care less but sure as hell likes to play around with the idea. Like with Galra Keith, there is some evidence that’s either straight-up confirmation or lazy writing (Keith opening doors vs kuron meaning clone) but for the most part people are still uncertain.

Season “4″ drops and hits us all hard with new evidence. People are getting behind the Clone Shiro Theory in earnest now, but somewhere near the end of the season it’s confirmed, forestalling another round of theorizing. Lots of people are caught off-guard, lots of people are edge-of-their-seats “Holy crap, is that actually true??” The major, irrefutable pieces of evidence (Ulaz, Keith’s knife, his nightmares vs Shiro lying to the team, Haggar’s spying, Shiro calling out to Lance in the bond) are immediately followed up by confirmation.

Can you see how the spacing of the episodes drastically changes the perception of the theory? In all honesty, Galra Keith and Clone Shiro feel extraordinarily similar in terms of pacing, evidence, and alternate explanations--it’s just that Keith’s story happened much quicker, in fandom time. I can’t fault the writers for that. I just think half seasons were a bad idea, especially when the show was clearly written with full seasons in mind.

TL;DR Version:

There’s enough evidence that specifically points to clones that I’m 99% convinced that Shiro is a clone at this point. That last 1% is reserved for skepticism because, while I don’t believe the writers could provide me with a different explanation that fits as well as clones, they might try in the name of pulling one over on the viewers.

Galra Keith and Clone Shiro are set up in a very similar manner, and the latter suffers primarily from half season releases and a fandom who knows what tricks to look for.

The fact that the show is geared at a younger audience and so isn’t going to be super subtle is not a mark against it, but unfortunately if you’re active in the fandom, there’s a good chance you’re going to see a solid argument re: upcoming plot twists that spoils the surprise.

[madamekyberpunk]

Film Diary (July 12, 2020 - Dec 28, 2020)

JULY

July 12, 2020: KNIVES OUT (Dir. Rian Johnson)

We get to see Rian Johnson finely tune his craft in real time, and I find it exciting. I’ve been on a binge of his work as-of-late and a recurring theme of most of his movies is them being a commentary on themselves or the genres they’re working within. I think this movie nails that trick on the head without patting itself on the back too much. The ensemble cast is expertly chosen and works together really well, and you can tell just by watching it that they were having fun on set. The cast is grounded by Ana de Armas’ quietly brilliant performance. My favorite Rian Johnson movie is still reserved for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but I do think this is his best work so far.

July 13, 2020: MERMAIDS (Dir. Richard Benjamin)

A slightly more absurd version of Lady Bird, if Lady Bird was made in the nineties. A good addition to the strained-but-loving mother-daughter relationship cinematic universe.

July 15, 2020: THE UNTOUCHABLES (Dir. Brian De Palma)

This is actually the first mafia movie I’ve ever seen, and honestly...it was probably a bad one to start with. Although it was entertaining and tense at all the right moments, the whole thing just felt empty. Every character seemed half-baked and none of them really had any development. De Palma could’ve gone grittier for an R-rating and made his interpretation of Al Capone a little less cartoonish; Kevin Costner’s Eliot Ness was doing the absolute least, and Robert De Niro’s Al Capone was doing the absolute most.

July 31, 2020: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER (Dir. Marc Webb)

For some reason I have unintentionally seen almost all of Marc Webb’s filmography, and I have to say that I’m underwhelmed by all of it. While watching I found myself reflexively comparing this to Webb’s The Amazing Spiderman and maybe it ruined my viewing experience a little bit. Both of them have lots of super mumbly, drawn-out conversations and an interpretation of an “indie” style that just seems...bland to me. (Also, both of them have pale women with bangs and men with undiagnosed depression.) I don’t know, I just feel like if you want a rom-com with a realistic depiction of romantic relationships, you should just go watch The Big Sick.

AUGUST

August 14, 2020: LATE NIGHT (Dir. Nisha Ganatra)

Emma Thompson was great in this, and I think Mindy Kaling is very underrated as a writer (in some ways, I think she is the modern Nora Ephron). I’ve seen quite a few reviews claiming that this movie plays along with conventions, but I don’t necessarily think that conventions are inherently bad as long as they’re executed well. In this case, they were.

August 22, 2020: THE FAREWELL (Dir. Lulu Wang)

I’d classify this as a really good movie that just didn’t click with me. It was a complete, “it’s not them, it’s me,” situation. It was smartly directed with a focused, sharp script and an excellent leading performance from Awkwafina - I can see why people were upset that it got snubbed at the Oscars - but it just wasn’t my thing. The only time I really connected with it emotionally was the ending.

August 22, 2020: KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Dir. Rachel Lears)

The only piece of media currently in existence that somehow makes me feel a sense of patriotism for this hellscape of a country.

SEPTEMBER

September 5, 2020: BARRY (Dir. Vikram Gandhi)

Speaking of living in a hellscape of a country, I have mixed feelings about the Obama presidency - but this movie isn’t about his presidency. It isn’t indicative that he’ll be president at any point. It’s essentially a piece of historical fiction about race and American identity that happens to use Barack Obama as its protagonist. You could replace him with any other dude with a background similar to his and it still would’ve been interesting.

September 8, 2020: UNICORN STORE (Dir. Brie Larson)

If there’s one word to describe this movie, I’d say, it’s cute. Not in a patronizing type of way, but in a this-movie-feels-like-a-warm-hug type of way. I like this Brie Larson vehicle much more than Captain Marvel, mainly because I feel like she’s having more fun in this and she gets to wear more colors and Samuel L. Jackson has tinsel in his hair and also there’s a unicorn in it. I’m a simple girl with simple needs. I also think Samuel L. Jackson should be adorned in tinsel in every film he’s in without explanation (I might actually watch Pulp Fiction if Jackson’s character had a sparkly afro in it). This movie also made me stan Mamoudou Athie - I think he plays a good straight man and I hope that they don’t waste him in Jurassic World: Dominion, although I’m not getting my hopes up.

September 11, 2020: LADY BIRD (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

I waited a criminally long amount of time to finally watch this. I can’t really say anything about this movie that hasn’t already been said. It’s good! It’s genuine and sweet and I liked seeing Timothée Chalamet play a pretentious asshole.

September 12, 2020: THE BROTHERS BLOOM (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Upon a rewatch, I’m taking my original score of 3.5 out of 5 and bumping it up to a 4 out of 5.  Adrian Brody and Rachel Weisz’s performances pretty much make this movie with their earnestness and chemistry. I think you could qualify this film as a romantic dramedy that just happens to be about an international con job. It doesn’t do the greatest job of explaining itself plot-wise, but it makes up for it with stylish direction and a charming cast.

September 18, 2020: EVER AFTER (Dir. Andy Tennant)

The best Cinderella adaptation currently in existence (next to Nickelodeon’s Rags starring Keke Palmer, of course). It’s so good that I’m willing to forgive Drew Barrymore’s attempt at a British accent. I also think this is one of the few movies that could be a decent remake if you gave it to the right director.

September 19, 2020: BRICK (Dir. Rian Johnson)

I love Rian Johnson, I think we’ve established that already, but I kind of sort of hated his film debut. It seemed so caught up in its own concept that it ended up seeming like a shell of a movie with no theme to ground it. Sometimes I don’t care if movie has no theme if it’s entertaining, but this movie was not entertaining, so...

September 25, 2020: ABOUT LAST NIGHT... (Dir. Edward Zwick)

Alternate title: Toxic Man is Horrible to a Woman Who Literally Does Nothing Wrong Ever and Also is Gorgeous, They Break Up, Toxic Man Gets a Different Job and Toxicity is Gone Now, Like His Personality was Sifted Through a Brita Water Filter, then the Toxic Man Gets an Unearned Happy Ending with Gorgeous Woman. It might be a little bit long, but at least people would know what they were in for. Still better than (500) Days of Summer, although every male character in About Last Night... deserves to be in jail. All of Demi Moore’s sweaters get five stars.

OCTOBER

October 3, 2020: ENOLA HOLMES (Dir. Harry Bradbeer)

During the first draft of this post, I gave this movie a pretty good review. Then I rewatched it, and...huh. It’s not exactly a bad movie, it’s just an aggressively average movie. Enola Holmes would have benefited from a) a shorter runtime, b) a better mystery, and c) a weirder style. I think that if the character is going to repeatedly talk into the camera, which is kinda weird, you should just make everything else weird too. Give it a Birds of Prey-esque unreliable narrator and non-linear storyline. It’s still a fun movie, and the inevitable sequels have potential, but it just felt like they could’ve - I don’t know - made more of an effort?

October 10, 2020: HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE (Dir. Taika Waititi)

This is the first Taika Waititi movie I’ve seen besides Thor: Ragnarok. I liked seeing how his style transferred into Ragnarok, and it probably has the funniest funeral scene ever written (do yourself a favor and look it up on YouTube). Hunt for the Wilderpeople knows when to make a joke without getting too goofy, and it knows when to be sentimental without getting too sappy. It also has dozens of glorious one-liners.

October 11, 2020: LITTLE WOMEN (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

The best Little Women adaptation. (I haven’t seen the one with Katharine Hepburn but I’m just going to assume that this one’s better.) This movie was clearly made for people who know and love the story, which can be a good thing and a bad thing - it means that it took some creative liberties that enhanced the story and added subversions that made it feel meta in a satisfying way. But it also meant that it could be potentially confusing for people who aren’t familiar with the story. Personally I wasn’t lost, but I think Gerwig could’ve used some more visual cues to let you know when they were in the present or when they were diving into the past. I wouldn’t want her to eliminate the jumping back and forth, though, because I think it allowed the characters to be explored a lot more than a linear story would’ve allowed. Gerwig also did a great job of letting you understand the motivations of the supporting characters - specifically Amy - in a way that prior adaptations never really did. Every character felt like their own person instead of accessories to Jo’s life.

October 16, 2020: THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (Dir. Aaron Sorkin)

Siegel, a very good Letterboxd reviewer that I follow, said it better than I can: “Aaron Sorkin is way too good a writer to be forced to work with such a mediocre director as Aaron Sorkin”. I didn’t mind the beginning - I thought the quick editing, upbeat music, and cuts back and forth between historical footage and fictionalized scenes were engaging, but the ending was clunky and didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the film. The Trial of the Chicago 7 was a little confused politically and wanted to desperately cling onto a centrism that didn’t let the film fully embrace the anger that it could’ve ended on. Despite all of these things, I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The performances were all excellent, and if any of them get nominated for an Oscar it’s well-deserved. I’m also a sucker for Aaron Sorkin’s speechy, tangential dialogue. It makes me feel smart whenever I listen to it.

October 20, 2020: HALLOWEENTOWN (Dir. Duwayne Dunham)

This movie does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it.

October 26, 2020: BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN) (Dir. Cathy Yan)

This movie also does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Seriously, I honestly don’t know why people don’t love this movie. Margot Robbie’s performance as Harley Quinn is Oscar-worthy. That’s not a joke. I actually think that if the Oscars knew how to have fun, she would get a nomination. She is this character. It feels so lived-in and she never does too much - and with a role like Harley Quinn, it would be very easy to do too much. I also have to give props to the type of feminism that director Cathy Yan inserted into this film. I really enjoyed Wonder Woman and didn’t mind Captain Marvel, but there was something so formulaic and studio-approved about the female empowerment in both of those films. Birds of Prey, however, didn’t really give a single fuck. It was a nuanced, violent, funny as hell story about flawed women forming alliances and finding meaningful relationships in a world that actively abuses them and ugh, I love this movie. It’s probably my personal favorite of the year.

October 27, 2020: DOLLY PARTON: HERE I AM (Dir. Francis Whately)

This documentary was strangely edited and offered pretty surface-level information presented in an uninteresting way. I enjoyed myself while I was watching it, but I just wish it would’ve gone deeper. Dolly Parton is one of the most interesting figures in music history, and there was a lot more they could’ve explored.

NOVEMBER

November 1, 2020: ATTACK THE BLOCK (Dir. Joe Cornish)

This 82-minute movie gave John Boyega a more satisfactory arc than the almost seven hour long Star Wars sequel trilogy. Seriously, this movie fucking slaps! It hit all the right notes at all the right moments. I honestly think that a lot of sci-fi movies would be better if they worked with smaller budgets and shorter runtimes. Something about working within limitations makes a film feel more authentic and cuts out a lot of the excess fat. This movie is funny and earnest and surprisingly has a lot to say about the world we live in, with a budget that’s 200 million dollars less and a runtime that's 45 minutes less than a lot of sci-fi movies out there.

November 18, 2020: A PRINCESS FOR CHRISTMAS (Dir. Michael Damian)

*Lady Gaga voice* Amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely-not-ever-been-done-before... My go-to shitty Hallmark Christmas movie every year :)

November 19, 2020: THE LEGO STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (Dir. Ken Cunningham)

I’m giving this a five-star rating completely unironically. This movie uses the mechanism of time travel better than Avengers: Endgame.

November 20, 2020: THE CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES (Dir. Clay Kaytis)

There’s a scene where Kurt Russel does a musical number in a jail cell and then Winston from “New Girl” quits his job as a cop. What more could you want from a Christmas movie?

November 21, 2020: INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (Dir. Joel & Ethan Coen)

What was originally intended to be an Oscar Isaac thirst watch turned into what might end up being one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s one of those movies where it’s hard to articulate why it was so good, it was just good, but for the sake of this post I’ll try my best. Oscar Isaac was phenomenal in this - and I’m not just saying that because I’m a simp. His performance, combined with the script, made you root for his character even if he was a douchebag a lot of the time. The movie did a great job of blurring the line between what Llewyn Davis brought on himself and what was the result of just really, really bad luck. The use of sound in Llewyn Davis is excellent, too. Instead of using an instrumental score to emphasize emotion, they used sounds from the character’s environment, which really let the occasional musical moments pop - whenever anyone started singing, it almost felt cathartic. The Coen Brothers also provided moments of levity with perfectly-timed comedic moments throughout. It’s one of those movies where at the end of it, you’re kind of jealous that someone could make something that good. The fact that Oscar Isaac didn’t even get an Oscar nomination for this is - not to be dramatic - a fucking war crime.

November 22, 2020: STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Listen, I know The Last Jedi is such a hotly debated movie that it’s almost political, but it happens to be my favorite movie of all time. Like, number one. It even beats A Princess for Christmas. I’ve had my fair share of slander for loving this movie so damn much, but I will defend it until the day I die, and then I will have my tombstone engraved with “Luke Skywalker’s portrayal in this movie makes sense, you guys are just poisoned by nostalgia.” I’ve seen this movie several times, but I actually haven’t given it a rewatch since The Rise of Skywalker came out last December, and it still holds up. There’s a couple of things that I really appreciated a bit more this time around: every shot in this movie seems so intentional and emotionally charged. Pause it at any point and you’re going to have something interesting and aesthetically pleasing to look at. I really enjoyed the dialogue, too. In most of his movies, Rian Johnson makes his characters talk in a slightly heightened (or in Brick's case, very heightened) way, and it lends well to the Star Wars universe. I'm never going to to not gush about this film. The Last Jedi is the movie that made me love movies, and for that I will always be grateful.

November 25, 2020: HAPPIEST SEASON (Dir. Clea DuVall)

I have similar feelings toward this movie as I did toward Crazy Rich Asians; it follows most of the conventions that populate the rom-com genre, but for the marginalized people the movie is representing, it’s actually pretty fresh. Hot take, but I don’t think that Kristen Stewart’s character should’ve ended up with Aubrey Plaza’s character - I just think the film could’ve done a better job of empathizing with Mackenzie Davis’s character. If we focused on her perspective a bit more, maybe she would’ve seemed less...shitty and distant. I’d also appreciate it if we just stop doing the Gay Best Friend Trope after this movie because - let’s be honest with ourselves - no one’s going to be able to top Daniel Levy’s rendition of it.

November 29, 2020: MANGROVE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

See my Mangrove review here.

DECEMBER

December 5, 2020: RED, WHITE AND BLUE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

I may need to give this a rewatch at some point, mainly because it seems like I didn’t fully grasp the themes it was conveying due to my own skepticisms going into it. Here’s my original review.

December 13, 2020: THE PROM (Dir. Ryan Murphy)

I really can’t critically engage with this movie because my brain just turns off the minute the first song starts. Most of the criticisms you’ve heard are valid - though perhaps a little bit blown out of proportion - but it’s so much damn fun. I’ve watched it twice now.

December 19, 2020: MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM (Dir. George C. Wolfe)

Chadwick Boseman’s last performance is haunting, transformative, and magnetic. The same can be said about Viola Davis’ performance, which is a surprise to no one, but this is really Chadwick’s vehicle. I just wish the directing was as interesting as the acting. This film was adapted from an August Wilson play, and directorially it was treated like a play, which doesn’t necessarily translate that well to film. The space around the actors wasn’t really utilized, and the way it was shot was pretty lackluster and static; oftentimes, the only interesting thing to look at in a scene was an actor’s performance. Maybe I’ve just been a little obsessed with Steve McQueen’s directing style lately, but this movie probably would’ve been five stars for me (instead of the four-and-a-half I gave it) if it was directed by him.

December 19, 2020: LONG TOAST (Dir. Karsten Runquist)

Fuck yeah, Karsten Runquist! Shout out to his monthly “what I watched in [insert month]” videos for giving me the inspiration to write this. 

December 23, 2020: LET IT SNOW (Dir. Luke Snellin)

Weirdly enough, this may be one of my favorite Christmas movies. There’s nothing all that remarkable about it, but it has a sweet, simple holiday vibe with innocent performances and low stakes. I don’t really ask a lot for Christmas movies, and this pretty much delivers.

December 25, 2020: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DREAM ANALYSIS (Dir. Rian Johnson)

This short film from Rian Johnson is the earliest thing I could find of his filmography on Letterboxd, and it was a pretty engaging watch. It was essentially all of Johnson’s quirks as a director condensed into ten minutes. It reminded me of those trippy short stories you had to read in middle school.

December 26, 2020: PLUS ONE (Dir. Jeff Chan & Andrew Rhymer)

I’ve seen a lot of rom-coms - like, an ungodly amount - and my love-hate affair with this genre has made me realize that predictability isn’t the issue with rom-coms (a lot of genres are very, very predictable). The issue is a lack of authenticity. Yes, this film is predictable, but it’s authentic. The humor in this movie actually feels like something that would happen in real life, not something heavily contrived or exaggerated for the sake of entertainment. I don’t have anything against the contrived and exaggerated, but it’s refreshing to see comedy being delivered so naturally in this genre. Plus One also has a more realistic (but still sweet) perspective on love and relationships which you don’t normally see in any genre.

December 27, 2020: THE HALF OF IT (Dir. Alice Wu)

I watched this at the beginning of the year and didn’t enjoy it all that much - partly because I was in the closet and aaaah girls kissing aaaaaah - and partly because I just thought it was boring. On a second viewing, I really appreciated it more. I think it’s the smartest and most well-shot movie directed toward teens that I’ve seen on Netflix. Although the script can be a bit pretentious, it’s directed in a way that doesn’t feel like it’s either trying to be too indie or like an hour and fourty-five minute long single-camera sitcom episode. The character of Ellie is also a really interesting and nuanced character, and a good example of how to write and portray queerness on screen.

December 27, 2020: TAYLOR SWIFT - FOLKLORE: THE LONG POND STUDIO SESSIONS (Dir. Taylor Swift)

I would die for Taylor Swift and/or Jack Antonoff.

December 28, 2020: MANK (Dir. David Fincher)

I went into this movie as a) someone who has never seen a David Fincher film, and b) someone who has never seen Citizen Kane. Unsurprisingly, Mank was definitely not my thing. That doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it. It’s a fucking good-looking movie. But it’s kind of like the himbo of movies - it’s nice to look at, but there’s not much going on underneath. I’m hearing this complaint from a lot of people: it’s a technical masterpiece, but it feels pretty damn hollow. Personally, it’s not enough for me to recognize that a film looks and sounds good - I have to care about and know the human beings within it in order for me to think that it’s a good movie. To me, a film is only as good as the emotional relevance of its story, but sadly emotional relevance is where Mank falls short.

What movies kept you sane during 2020? Let me know!

[thesundaymorningpost]

The Sunday Morning Post

September 3, 2017                                                          10th Edition

Current News:

Yuri on Ice: ShitBang

On August 31st, if you love Yuri on Ice, your feed may have blown up with stories and artwork created as a means for writers and artists to come together and work on a project together.

What is the Shit Bang you ask? It is an amazing event for writers and artists to come together and write and draw about the amazing anime we all love: Yuri!!! On Ice! But a little more than that this is a direct - non-hateful - response to THAT blog. You know the one I’m talking about. Yup. THAT one. - @yoi-shit-bang

The amount of stories and artwork has been astounding. From one-shots, to multi-chapters, all written by amazing authors. Then there is all the amazing artwork that has come with it, by some amazing and very talented artists.

Please keep in mind that many subjects may trigger, please read all tags before reading a story. 

Story Recommendation: we have loved the stars too fondly by @thehandsingsweapon

“We live in a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles?”

After an academic career at MIT and Oxford, Yuuri Katsuki eschews job offers at places like NASA and CERN to go work at the Very Large Array in what Phichit Chulanont lovingly calls The Actual Middle of Nowhere, New Mexico, monitoring radio frequencies from light-years away. He's loved the stars for as long as he can remember, and the universe feels so big sometimes that Yuuri is sure it would be a cruel mistake for humans to be all alone.

Enter the latest scientist to join the staff of the VLA, enigmatic Russian genius Victor Nikiforov, around whom Yuuri’s entire universe seems to bend to make room, and the strange, recurring dreams Yuuri keeps having, where something like love carries him across the stars.

Does love travel faster than light? Do souls?

“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

"Yuri, on Stars!!   This lovely short story will resonate with anyone that lives the heavens.  Dreamscapes thought to be a figment of Yuuri's imagination turn out to be a more real than tangible science, and Viktor is patient with all his insecurities.  With just the right amount of angst to give it depth, this vignette will take you into the endless cosmos!" - @darkrivertempest

Artist Spotlight:

we have loved the stars too fondly by @shadhahvar

Comic:

Good boy by @floccinaucinihilipilificationa  (Click title to reblog)

Support: 

This week’s Ko-Fi shout-out goes to Discoursemoth | @lowercasewrites  (Click to buy coffee)

im sei! im a non-passing trans boy with unsupportive parents, and im using this account primarily to pay for things that could help me pass better, such as a packer and binder. you obviously dont have to donate but i would really appreciate it!                                

Patreon: YukiPri | @yukipri  (Click name to become a patreon)

Hey there!! Thanks so much for visiting my Patreon. I'm Kazu, also YukiPri on Tumblr. I'm currently a freelance translator and illustrator who is HOPING to support myself primarily through art. My passion is telling my own unique stories through visual media, and I love world-building, costume design, and overall extensively over-thinking all of my stories. This patreon is a step towards hopefully better sustaining myself off of art so I can continue to grow as a professional artist and produce content that you can enjoy! I am unbelievably grateful to every patron who helps me continue to do what I love doing. My wish is for the majority of my work to remain public, but I also desperately need to support myself, and also have a variety of content that I'm not comfortable posting publicly for various reasons. As thanks for your support, my patrons will get access to exclusive content, including WIPs/sketches, previews, art progress/tutorials, higher resolution art, early access, and nsfw content!

Fun and Games:

10 Questions Every Fic Writer Secretly Wants to be Asked by @wyseink  (Click Title to reblog)

There are a lot of fic questions that float around online, but rarely do they ever ask specific questions about the fics themselves. Ask any writer one or more of these ten questions to learn more about the fic and show support.

1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

2. Which scene was your favorite to write in [title of fic]?

3. Which part of [title] was hardest to write?

4. If you could change anything in [title], what would it be?

5. Did you make an outline for [title]? Did you stick to it?

6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in [title]?

7. Who was your favorite character to write in [title]?

8. Which came first, the title or the fic?

9. Which idea came to you first in [title]?

10. What are some facts readers may not know about [title]?

Story Prompt:

Monochrome by @diamondwinters An AU where people who are sad, down, depressed cannot hide it. Whenever you get sad, you start to loose your color. Your skin turns pale, your eyes loose their color, and turn gray or white, and your hair turns gray. Like an old black and white tv show, you loose all your color when you’re very sad. A little bit of sadness might dim your natural colors, but you wouldn’t loose them. It’s during a time when you feel heart broken, or very depressed that you go Monochrome. Such as a big break up, a death of a loved one, deep depression, etc. Monochrome is the medical term used by the doctors in this AU to describe turning gray in a world of color.

Some people who are unable to get happy, may use make-up, contacts, and hair color to hide the fact that they’re depressed, but eventually even those things will loose their color and will need to be replaced.

The best thing to do is to find your happiness. Be with friends, and family who can help you bring your color back. The brighter you are, the more vivid your colors are, the happier you are.

Art Prompt:

Imagine your OTP by @bumble-beany

Person A: Are you awake?                                         

Person B: I am now                                         

Person A: I was just wondering...                                         

Person A: What do you think it'd be like to be a pregnant male seahorse?

Person B: Really?! You woke me up for that?

W.I.P. Motivation:

Liquor Stash by @severeminx​

I want him.

When the full realization hit him, Yuri felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Detached and fleeting thoughts that had passed through his mind finally took shape in these three words at that exact moment. The I being himself, Yuri Plisetsky, age 17, a Russian figure skater with a list of impressive accomplishments to his name that seemed pretty pointless right now given the context. The want being desire, the need to bury himself, the thought to consume, but never actually act out except behind locked doors in empty beds or shower stalls. The him being the person standing across from Yuri sipping coffee from a take-away cup with creased brows, the low sunlight hitting his face just so to light up his otherwise dark eyes. Someone he considered to be his best friend, who came all the way from Almaty just to spend a week with him and who was blissfully unaware of the fucking turmoil Yuri was feeling in the pit of his stomach. Or at least, Yuri hoped he was unaware.

In which Yuri Plisetsky invites Otabek Altin over to stay with him in Saint Petersburg, freaks out over his feelings and delves into Lilia's liquor stash.

Please go read and support this artist. They are looking for kudos and comments to get them back into finishing this fantastic story!

Fandom Week:  (Click each line to go to blog)

Zarkon Week! September 3rd - 9th.

Yuri on Ice Music Week! September 4th - 11th

NSFW Yuri Plisetsky Week! September 11th - 17th.

Guang-Hong Week! Voting will be Sept 15th - 21st

SeungChuchu Week! October 16th - 23rd.

Help Wanted:

Needed: Tumblr theme editor. Please contact Diamond Winters for details.

Story recommendations!! If you find a story that you absolutely love, and you want to see it get some recognition, please submit a link to it with a 2-3 sentence review of the story. This way it could get in the spotlight in a future edition of the SMP. Requirements are that it’s completed, or a one-shot.

Artist Spotlight!! If you find a piece of artwork that needs more love, please submit a link to it so it may be considered for future spotlights in the future.

WIP Motivation: Please send your support to these writers or artist to encourage them to continue their story or artwork. No good story or piece of art should be left unfinished. - If you know of a good story that hasn’t been updated in a while, and would like to offer encouragement to the author, please let me know, so that I can link to their story here.

If there is ever any section of the Sunday Morning Post that you feel you can contribute too, please send an Ask or Submit to either the SMP, or @d2diamond so that it has a chance at making in a future post. Thank you!  

@yoi-shit-bang | @thehandsingsweapon | @darkrivertempest | @shadhahvar | @floccinaucinihilipilificationa | @lowercasewrites | @yukipri | @wyseink | @diamondwinters | @bumble-beany | @severeminx

[junker-town]

These NFL teams are ready for the season to be over. BIG MOOD

Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

Zero judgment for starting your vacation early, teams.

It’s Week 15 in the NFL and it felt like some teams couldn’t even. Not that I necessarily blame players for phoning it in when there’s no hope of a postseason, 10 days removed from Christmas and with almost nothing left to play for it outside of draft placing, which rewards mediocrity.

I get it. But this week there was some organizational-level incompetency that was utterly mind-blowing.

Of the 14 games played on Sunday, there were a solid seven teams that just couldn’t handle being on the field in any capacity. Today we will celebrate this septuplet of mediocrity for heading to vacation early.

Cincinnati Bengals.

Hate to start it off with a showstopper, but man this was great. The Bengals got off to a hot start thanks to what I can only describe delicately as ... LOL THE PATRIOTS SPOTTED THE BENGALS 13 POINTS TO TRY AND BE ALL LIKE, “SEEEEEEEEE FILMING THEM DID NOOOOTHING!”

Sorry, got away from myself there. Anyway, yeah — I loved this so much. It was just enough of a tantalizing taste that you’d check the score now and then and say, “the Bengals might really do this!” Then halftime happened, Andy Dalton threw a whole bunch of interceptions, and the Patriots cruised to another easy win.

Perhaps the best part of all this was that the Bengals’ collapse started as soon as a few children got steamrolled by mascots at halftime.

pic.twitter.com/UVbpGbMCw9

— Zack Cox (@ZackCoxNESN) December 15, 2019

Carolina Panthers.

I almost respect the fact there’s zero pretense behind “we have no special interest in winning.” If that’s not the point, then why Kyle Allen is still the quarterback in Carolina is beyond me.

Quarterback purists might say, “well, it’s unfair to throw Will Grier to the wolves in games that don’t matter,” to which I remind them that Grier was selected WITH A THIRD-ROUND PICK and at this point nobody in Carolina is going to hold some bad garbage-time starts against Grier, should his games go poorly.

I mean, you can’t expect Panthers fans to overreact to a few bad games, just as they couldn’t possibly anoint a new franchise QB after three good starts ... right?

Miami Dolphins.

Entering Sunday, Eli Manning was 4-18 in games where he threw three interceptions or more. The Dolphins became No. 5.

Checking out the box score is like one of those Magic Eye paintings of suck. At a quick glance, everything looks relatively fine. Then you stare at it more and you see the horror.

The Dolphins, like a lot of teams this week, decided to just take the second half off. They allowed 29 second-half points and for Manning to likely finish his Giants career at a perfect .500 record. I mean not perfect, but that’s perfectly Eli.

Denver Broncos.

I refuse to believe there’s a logical through line where the Broncos can obliterate the Texans, then only score three points against the Chiefs. Therefore we must believe they simply took the afternoon off.

I feel really badly for Drew Lock. I don’t know what it is about this season but the second you say something good about a quarterback, everything comes tumbling down. It happened to Ryan Tannehill, it happened to Kyle Allen, it happened to Daniel Jones. Now it’s Lock’s turn as the rookie played, well, like a rookie. Still though, 40 attempts for 208 yards is history worthy.

Lock’s performance was one of 14 this season when a quarterback attempted 40+ passes and finish with a yards per attempt of below 5.5. He joins such luminaries as Kyler Murray, Tom Brady, and Mitchell Trubisky (three times).

Los Angeles Chargers.

Anthony Lynn at the start of his press conference. “Seven turnovers. We got our asses kicked in all three phases. Any questions?” pic.twitter.com/VgIkARzkAp

— Eric Williams (@eric_d_williams) December 16, 2019

Any questions?

Los Angeles Rams.

It’s profoundly sad to see the Rams’ season end up here. There was so much hope after the Super Bow. Now the realization they are THIRD best in the NFC West has to be absolutely soul-crushing.

Todd Gurley ran the ball 11 times for 20 yards against the Cowboys, lol.

Detroit Lions.

David Bloughs.

Now, let’s go around the league.

This is the funniest video of the year.

FOX SPORTS EXCLUSIVE: @JayGlazer reveals footage of Patriots filming Bengals. pic.twitter.com/C7U7mopaEm

— FOX Sports (@FOXSports) December 15, 2019

I am so far past being angry at the Patriots for cheating, because it’s an expected quantity at this point. Instead, what I really appreciate is that they’ve just decided to be brazen about it. It suits them much better than trying to be sneaky.

Listen to this videographer try and talk his way out of being caught. It’s so bad his name might as well be Shifty McCrimesman. Every single answer he has is met with more questions, and each time he keeps digging deeper and deeper. Then he has the audacity to say, “I’m being honest with you” about claiming there’s no conceivable way the footage could be be retrieved — as if any decent cameraperson worth their salt isn’t backing everything up to an external drive on the regular.

I’m here for the desperate-ass Patriots trying to cheat each week. I want this to be a recurring theme for the rest of the season while we all hunt for them, Carmen Sandiego-style.

And this is the funniest scenario of the year.

Wow. Dak Prescott didn’t say “defer” so Rams will get ball to start game AND to start 2nd half. First time in NFL history. pic.twitter.com/R1lXB8x3MH

— Rudy Gersten (@DCBarno) December 15, 2019

OK, so let me break this one down so it makes sense. According to the NFL rulebook on coin tosses, a winning team must select one of two “privileges” when it wins:

The opportunity to receive the kickoff, or to kick off.

The choice of goal his team will defend.

But the team also have a third option, which is to defer its choice until the start of the second half. According to the rules, it merely requires the coin toss winner to inform referees of the decisions PRIOR to the second half commencing, and the rules say this is binding.

Here’s how this played out:

Dak Prescott wins the coin toss.

He fumbles through some words, but tells officials he wants the Cowboys to kick, but also that he defers.

The official doesn’t hear Dak defer, so he takes is as the Cowboys are kicking off to start the first half.

This means the Rams would get their pick at the start of the second half, which would have been receiving a second kickoff.

This would have been the first time in NFL history a team received the kickoff to start the game and after halftime. After some deliberation, officials decided at halftime that Prescott did indicate well enough that he intended to defer the pick, so the Rams were forced to kick.

Still one of the weirdest moments of the weekend.

PLEASE STOP SHOOTING LASERS!

“Please stop shooting lasers!” pic.twitter.com/naxoIGoF2A

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) December 15, 2019

It’s just common decency, Oakland. Leave the lasers at home.

But that wasn’t all ...

Oakland descended into anarchy at the close of the final home game. A loss to the Jaguars put the Raiders’ playoff chances on life support, and fans, already upset they’re losing their team to Las Vegas, had enough.

Black hole tosses garbage onto the field as Raiders lose their last game in Oakland in the final minute. pic.twitter.com/mhv4gRr1LG

— Torrey Hart (@torreyhart) December 16, 2019

Things are descending into chaos in Oakland. Media has been asked to leave the field as security engaged in full-on brawl with a fan. Another woman gushed blood from her forehead, appearing as if she had been hit by trash heading for the field. pic.twitter.com/zOlImU7hEh

— Torrey Hart (@torreyhart) December 16, 2019

Oakland fans took one last opportunity to boo Derek Carr as he left the field. (via @StanfordVoice) pic.twitter.com/RrcO4lFDnq

— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) December 16, 2019

I’m sorry Oakland, but at least this was an on-brand ending to your final game in the Bay Area.

[weregonnaneedabiggerblog-blog1]

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999); The “TV Show: The Movie” that Pushed its Source Material into the Future

There was a time where “TV Show: The Movie” movies had broken into the mainstream, and not always for the better. Starting around 1998 with the release of “Rugrats: The Movie”, which went on to become the first Non-Disney animated movie to gross over $1,000,000, company executives and Hollywood producers alike took note and suddenly a big-budgeted wild fire tore through the vast forest that was television; “Recess: School’s Out”, “Hey Arnold! The Movie”, a trilogy of Pokémon movies, “The PowerPuff Girls Movie”, “The Wild Thornberry Movie”, “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, even the most obscure cartoons of the time like Disney ‘s “Teacher’s Pet” took a try at becoming the next box-office phenomenon. From 1998 – 2004 alone, 15 movies were produced based on television cartoons, almost all of which were just clear cash-grabs to capitalise not only on the brand’s popularity, but the success of "Rugrats: The Movie", and most often, the quality reflected the profit. Whilst a majority of them did make back their budget and then some, barely any were competing with the numbers shown by the Rugrats a few years prior.

  I feel that was because audiences quickly grew accepting of what the quality of the majority of these films would be; just nothing more than a feature length episode of the show that didn’t take any advantage of what the film medium could offer. Regardless however, at this time, “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, not being one to not just aboard an opportunity to cause a ruckus in the media, took it upon themselves to bring their ever-so controversial cartoon about the residents of a small Colorado town with a vast catalogue of bad language to the big screen.

  In 1999, the two released into cinema what I still believe to be one of the boldest and most important steps the South Park series had to take in order to be where it lies today; By taking everything that worked about the show, and using every advantage the film medium could give to make one of the most simultaneously funny, vulgar, offensive and yet smart animated films ever made.

  After their favourite Canadian TV starts Terrance and Philip release their feature film debut “Asses of Fire”, young South Park residents Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny (all voiced by Stone and Parker) become fixated with the movie’s offensive language, with the starts often referring to each other as “Pig Fucker” or “Uncle Fucker” When this language interferes with the boys’ lives, primarily when Cartmans tells his teacher to “suck my balls” or when Kenny kills himself trying to set his fart on fire like Terrance and Philip do in the movie, the parents of the town start a protest group which starts as an attempt to get the film banned in the United States, that very quickly spirals out of control and leaves Kyle’s mom arresting the controversial duo and becoming President Clinton’s Secretary of Offence as the country declares war on Canada. With only two days before Terrence and Philip are executed, the children of South Park quickly scramble to find of a way to show their parents that they’ve got too far, whilst their deceased friend Kenny also tries to warn them of how the day of Terrance and Philip’s death was prophesised by Satan himself to be the day he returns to bring 1000 years of darkness unto the Earth.

  As you may have been able to gather from that plot summary alone, there are a lot of views and themes going on throughout this movie’s short 76 minute runtime (a length I personally believe plays well into the “Bigger, Longer & Uncut” subtitle of the movie. Aside from the obvious circumcision joke) Perhaps the film’s biggest statement is not-only ironic but contradictory method the children’s parents have in tacking “Asses of Fire” and its obscene content. Rather than taking more interest in what their children can and can’t watch for example, they instead feel the need to put the blame not only on the creators of the movie, but their country of origin instead (perhaps also a metaphor for the blame people put on a country rather than just those responsible. This film did release a year after the 1998 United States Embassy Bombings and does feature a deceased Saddam Hussein as Satan’s emotionally abusive lover after all). These parents getting radical over obscene language could also clearly stem from the controversy “South Park” itself was facing at the time with parental groups during its original 3 season airing, back when the show’s animation was the cardboard cut-out equivalent to an early 2000s flash animation on Newgrounds.com. This point is very interesting to me as not only does it act as Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s “meditation” so-to-speak about all the attention they had created for their show, but it also marks them doing it in a much more mature way

  At least, as mature as a show like South Park can be.

  Rather than have the victims of their cynicism be wild, screaming idiots like the earlier seasons of the shows often portrayed them as (still to a funny extent, mind you.), the movie often portray the antagonists, such as Kyle’s mom, as being so self-sure that they are completely blind to the true consequences of their actions. A perfect example of which is seen in the musical number “Blame Canada”, which has a chorus consisting of the protesting, parents chanting:

  “Blame Canada

  Blame Canada

  We need to form a full assault

  Its Canada’s fault!”

  That’s another thing I failed to mention. This film is a straight up comedy-musical. Decades before they showed many their talent at catchy musical writing with their Broadway show “The Book of Mormon”, Matt Stone and Trey Parker wrote a grand total of ten original songs, preforming almost all of them as well, for a South Park movie of all things. Regardless, almost every song on the soundtrack is hilarious and ridiculously catchy, with some of my personal favourites being the before mentioned “Blame Canada”, as well as Terrance and Philip’s lead single in the movie “Uncle Fucka”, Principal Teacher Mr. Mackey’s lesson on alternatives to swearing “It’s Easy, M’kay” and Satan’s solo number “Up There”, which hilariously is the only original song on the soundtrack to have no swearing despite it being performed by the prince of darkness himself.

  Despite the before mentioned accolades, there are a few gripes I have with the movie that keep it from being the almost perfect movie I feel it so desperately wanted to be. For one thing, the entire “Satan will rule the Earth upon T&P’s death” subplot only really added up to Satan standing up to Saddam and his emotional abuse he gave (again, something pretty funny for the prince of darkness to endure), and that school teacher Mr. Garrison’s hand puppet, Mr. Hat, replaces Saddam.

In fact, almost the entirety of the ending does feel very rushed.

On the night of Terrance and Philip’s broadcasted electrocution, complete with a pre-show performance by South Park resident Big Gay Al, the kids with the assistance of a small French child known as “Ze Mole”, whose accent and extreme hatred for God make him one of South Park’s best one-off characters, attempt to save the Canadian comedians, only for an ambush by the Canadian Army and a resulting firefight to result in their death, unleashing Satan, Saddam and all of Hell onto the Earth. In almost no time at all, Satan realises how Saddam has used him and casts him back to the fires of Hell, calling off his attack in the process (Oh, and Kenny’s face is finally revealed. Surprise! He looks just like all the other characters in the show except with blond hair) Sheila and the parents realise how they went too far and all is forgiven as the town reprises the opening song. All of which take place in the span of 5 – 10 minutes. Whether this was due to Stone and Parker not having any more funny material, wanting the film to conclude with the same cheeriness of the opening (hence the reprise) or just simply not knowing how else to end it aside from, well, ending it.

  Regardless of an ending that could have done much more than what it did I fell, the rest of this movie is almost flawless. Some may complain about the crude, cardboard cut-out artstyle and the resulting stiffness of movement, but honestly, I think it just adds so much more the film’s crudeness. Aside from that, almost every single joke, from the recurring gags from the show to what is newly presented, had me having at very least a snort and at most uncontrollable laughter. All of which is captured by the amazingly funny music and solid performances, even from the most unlikely of celebrity cameos, such as George Clooney as the doctor trying to save Kenny’s life. This film, like the show, is definitely an acquired taste. If you’re willing to possibly have your beliefs mocked however, you just may find something in this almost perfect TV-to-movie adaptation.