#This is not the Winnie The Pooh You know

[thebrownssociety]

Winnie The Pooh - Blood And Honey Ideas.

Warning - descriptions of murder, mentions of killing and beloved childhood icons dying.

Right, so. For those of you who don’t know - Winnie The Pooh is now becoming a slasher movie called ‘Blood and Honey.’

Basically the plot is that Christopher Robin goes off to college and leaves Pooh and his friends for 5 years. When he returns with his fiancé it’s to find the forest is eerily empty...until the run into a axe-crazy Piglet and Pooh that is. 

After that a group of five random girls turn up to rent a cabin in the woods and Pooh and Piglet pick the off one by one. As far as I can see the girls serve no purpose except to be victims. 

So, I know we’re not meant to take this movie seriously. The director himself has apparently said we’re not meant to take it seriously. However my brain dissects characters, and I’m wondering...what the hell did it take to get Pooh and Piglet to the point where they’re serial killers!? So...

It’s been five years since C.R. was in the hundred acre woods, so that’s a timeframe to work with. Presumably last time he was there they didn’t look so horrific otherwise I think he’d have run out of there screaming. So it’s the fact he’s gone to college and stopped feeding them that caused them to go feral.

Except, why does he need to feed them? This is based off the original books during which the gang basically ate anything. However they live in a forest, which experiences seasons. I bet that when it got so cold the ground was frozen C.R. brought them food. I imagine he’s been doing that for many years, starting from 6, maybe?

I’m saying 6 because Wikipedia says this all happens when C.R. goes to college. In the U.K. you go to college/6th form at 16, then onto university which is what I think’s happened here. Two years at college, then three years at uni and during that point C.R. was either to far away from the woods to visit or was aware that his ‘childhood foibles’ were being more seriously looked at at possible lunacy and left them.

He’s left some food for them though, so the gang [Pooh, Piglet, Owl, Rabbit + Eeyore] don’t immediately starve, also as Christopher has gotten older they’re now used to being left for months at a time, the longest period at that point being a year.

So - five years:

End of year 1 - food run out. Gang getting worried about C.R. It’s decided they’ll try growing food. Eeyore is the main one who’s alright, as he eats plants and stuff. 

End of Year 2 - growing food is a bit of a 50/50 affair. The gang are a bit less worried about C.R. now, as they’re really hungry and focused on finding food. They start to disband a bit and are no longer as close as they were.

End of Year 3 - it’s been a hard year. In the winter there was a lot of snow and the ground froze making growing food impossible. Also a lot of the plants died. At this point C.R. would usually bring them food, but he’s not there so they’re forced to huddle together for warmth near a river. [There’s no mention of them struggling for water, so I’m assuming there’s a river nearby]

[Warning. Gory mentions and cannibalism]

So they’re huddled together and I’m not sure how it happens - there’s a bit of me that doesn’t want to think it out to much - but the upshot is that Eeyore is eaten alive by the other 4. I would imagine either his tail fell off and the rest of the gang started with that or maybe Eeyore got sick and the rest of the gang decided it was a sort of ‘mercy kill.’ 

After that they’re horrified and erect the ‘tombstone’ we see in the trailer as a way of dealing with their grief. They mutually agree to go their separate ways so it doesn’t happen again. However Piglet and Pooh end up gravitating towards each other again because they’re friends.

End of year 4 - This is the year the murders start. Rabbit notices that some of his ‘friends and relations’ have gone missing. Concerned he watches over the last one - only to see it eaten by Owl. 

Rabbit is furious, but he recognises that Owl is stronger than he is. So he comes up with a plan. He tells Pooh and Piglet that he thinks Owl is planning to kill them. Pooh tells him not to be ridiculous and heads to Owl’s Treehouse to speak to him, but Owl is in a state of high panic and assumed Pooh is coming to kill him. They fight and Owl ends up dead.

Then there were 3.

End of Year 5 - Everything's gone to hell. Pooh and Piglet are surviving by murders hikers/visitors to the woods. Rabbit, meanwhile, is driving himself mad with guilt and anxiety. I’m thinking he either gives himself a hear attack due to the stress or gives up and allows himself to be murdered by Pooh and Piglet - maybe even begging them to kill him.

Either that or he tries to be clever and trap them. Except it fails and he gets caught in his own trap. Cue him being eaten.

I imagine that may have taken place fairly recently and Pooh and Piglet decide they’re going to kill the next people who enter the woods. 

Cue Christopher Robin and his fiancé.

[missjashin]

Okay we all know that Eddie was (is) a Garfield kid, based on the multiple Garfield mugs that we’ve seen hanging in the trailer.

But I am absolutely making Steve a Winnie the Pooh kid. Because just look at Christopher Robin and tell me that the little lonely polo shirt wearing boy is not the core of Steve Harrington.

Just look!

That is little Steve Harrington no question about it.

[jadewritesficshere]

Sitting Pretty

This is just pure filth like barely a plot ok 😫🥴

Eddie Munson x Female!reader

18+ONLY

Warnings: pet names (baby, pretty girl), slight degradation and condescending language (use of slut) (this really isn't degradation in my mind but that's cause I'm used to a lot worse so technically it is but), boot riding, squirting

Eddie dropped the box on the coffee table with a loud thud. It landed next to the other boxes he had carried, and the one you had. After a long day of work, he was tired. He wanted to sit down, relax, and do absolutely nothing. Of course, when you called and said you needed help moving boxes, he came. He knew he was entirely fucked. Wrapped around your fingers. You could tell him to jump and he'd ask how high.

Eddie pushed a strand of hair out of his face, it briefly getting caught on his fingers, making him shake his hand to get it unstuck. He glared at the partially grey hair still wound around his fingers (you said it made him look distinguished and metal. He couldn't complain too much at that). You set your own box on the table and smiled at him,"Thanks Eds, I know you're tired. It means a lot to me you would do this." Eddie hummed,"mhm. What is this stuff anyways?" "Oh, my uncle and aunt were getting rid of a bunch of stuff, so they gave it to my parents, who got rid of more stuff, aaaannnd dumped it on me," you shrugged," I'll go through it and see if there is anything good, then send it to the secondhand store."

Together, you and Eddie started going through the boxes. Eddie pretended to be wounded finding a dungeon master's guide, you found a harmonica and attempted to play a Corroded Coffin song (which had Eddie wheeze laughing and joking about adding a harmonica solo to their next single), he had tried on a pink jacket at your insistence while you had put on a hat that didn't fit (both of you traded items and agreed they looked better on each other then yourselves before promptly tossing the items back in the box), and then you struck gold.

You pulled out a pair of light brown leather cowboy boots. The intricate stitching on the side had caught your eye at the bottom of the box. The tips of the shoes slightly pointed and squared off. You blink at them and hand them to Eddie. Eddie looks at them before scoffing," Nope, those will squish my feet. You see the ends of them?" You roll your eyes," Eddie, if they hurt people's feet why would cowboys wear them? They work on their feet all day!" Eddie was tempted to tease you and say cowboys aren't real, but then you pout at him. The pout making your lips stand out caused him to hesitate. "Please?" He sighed and couldn't help but give you a quick kiss before grumbling and sitting to put the boots on. He could hear your faint cheers as he sat on the recliner.

Your focus was on the box in front of you until you heard Eddie clear his throat and ask,"Well, what do ya think?" You turned and-

Damn.

Eddie stood there with his hands on his hips. Your eyes trailed over him. His curly hair was frizzy from the humidity and a long day of working and sweating at the auto shop. His skin pale, save for a smear of oil on his cheekbone. His tank top showed off his arms beautifully, muscles straining, his bicep wrapped from a new tattoo he had gotten. The tank top tight against his skin, showing you his waist. You could see the bump at his belly button where his piercing was. His jeans were slightly loose, the only light wash pair he owned that he threw on when he hadn't done the laundry. Those stupid cowboy boots sat on his feet, the slight heel giving him extra height. He turned and held his arms out, striking a few poses. They weren't heels, but they made his ass pop (God, now you wanted to see him in heels). The light jeans making his ass look bigger, perfect to hold. Slap even.

"Ya know, they actually are kinda comfortable," Eddie turned back to face you with a smile," they don't- oof!" Eddie lands on the recliner with a grunt from you pushing him. He glares at you," you have to quit doing that! You're gonna strain my back or some shit." "Hm...stop being so fuckable then," you climb on top of his lap and lean close to his ear to whisper," besides, you like it." Eddie clears his throat and grasps your hips. You roll your hips slightly into his, watching him inhale sharply. The scruff of his unshaved jaw beckons you forward, kissing it lightly before trailing down his neck.

You nip and suck at his neck, smirking as he tilts his head to give you better access. His hands that firmly grasp your hips, shift to grab your ass instead. You hum as you pull back, staring at the glistening neck and the lovely purple mark you left. It may be childish to leave a hickey, but you couldn't help but want to mark Eddie up, adding shades of purple and red near his existing tattoos. Eddie's eyes are blown, his pale face flushed a deep red. You shift on top of him, rolling your hips into his again, feeling his hardening length. The feeling of you grinding against him makes him groan. Unbuttoning his jeans, you awkwardly try to unzip them, leaning back into Eddie's hands. He takes that moment to squeeze your ass. You whimper at the feeling and lean forward to kiss him, thoughts of removing his pants forgotten.

His lips are soft, slightly chapped, but still so plush against yours. Your mouths move in tandem, tongues darting out. Eddie licks into your mouth, groaning as he takes control. He sucks on the tip of your tongue before pulling back. Both of you taking deep breaths. "Take these off baby," Eddie mumbles, tugging at the hem of your shorts. You nod and clamber off him.

You push your shorts and panties down, balancing a hand on Eddie's knee as you step out of them. You go to get back on Eddie but he stops you," Now hold on, baby." You let out a whine in annoyance. Eddie chuckles and clicks his tongue at you," You seem all pent up, what's got you like this?" "You, now let me on-" "Nah, I think it's something else. Like my boots, Baby?" You nod emphatically, attempting to straddle Eddie again, but he puts his leg out in front of you. The sole of his boot presses against your stomach, and he pushes you back lightly. "Prove it pretty girl."

You pause and tilt your head slightly before grasping Eddie's boot covered ankle. Eddie nods to his foot and taps your stomach with the sole. You step back and bend at the hips, eyes locked with Eddie's, and kiss the tip of the boot. He chuckles and motions you with a finger to continue. You give the boot another kiss, and another. The leather firm against your mouth. Eddie smirks," You can do better then that." "I'm not licking the boot." You stand up and drop Eddie's foot with a thud. Eddie relaxes back spreading his legs, "Who said anything about licking? What's that saying...save a horse, ride a cowboy?"

You blink at him as your mouth falls open. Eddie taps the boot against the hardwood ground, causing clicks to echo. "Go on pretty girl." You can feel your arousal slowly drip down your thighs at the thought of Eddie's request. It was demeaning, dirty, and damn if it didn't delight you. You slowly kneel at Eddie's feet, lowering yourself until your core hit the leather.

The fabric was stiff and slightly rough against your pussy. Your arousal dripping onto the boot, causing it to slicken and make it easier to move. You look up from where you're situated to look at Eddie. You can't help the moan that escapes at the site of him. The once slightly baggy jeans are now very filled out from his bulge. One hand resting on it, squeezing lightly. The top of his unbuttoned jeans showing off his happy trail. The opal belly button piercing glinting in the light. The tattoo of the dragon above the jewelry moving with every deep breath he takes. A hickey on his pec from last week. The rest of his tattoos scattered about, glistening from sweat. The scruff on his jaw and neck. The grey hairs at his temples. The smirk on his face, even though it is flushed. The demeaning look he gives you.

You grind against the boot, faltering slightly under his gaze. "Look at you, sitting pretty," Eddie coos at you, patting your head. He knows you hate that, making you feel small. Stupid. "Such a good slut, making my boots all wet." His words make you clench around nothing, throbbing with want.

You buck your hips quicker against his boot. You shift angles slightly and moan as the boot rubs against your clit. The sensation is too much. The pleasure invades your brain, coherent thoughts gone. You feel the pressure building in your lower stomach. A tingly warmth spreading out from your core. "Fuck I'm-" your breath hitches and your hips fumble losing rhythm. "Come for me baby," Eddie grasps your jaw firmly, tilting your head up to face him," Drench my boots like the good slut you are, pretty girl." You gasp as the pressure builds to a crescendo. Your eyes close and you moan head falling back in pleasure. Lights flash behind your eyes as euphoria spreads throughout your limbs. You distantly feel the wetness gush as your hips buck wantonly. Your brain goes fuzzy with static from euphoria. You briefly hear Eddie moan a fuck.

You come back down to earth, loosening your grip on Eddie's thighs. You hadn't even realized you were gripping them. You scoot away from his boot, still on your knees. The light brown leather is soaked, turning a dark brown. A puddle of your release is on the boot, making you feel warm from embarrassment.

"Fucking hell...you squirted," Eddie shakes his head and chuckles. You stand on shaky legs, Eddie helping hold you in place. You glance down at the puddle slowly dripping off his shoe and onto the floor. "Can I ride you now?" You ask saccharinely.

"You're gonna have to give me a minute," Eddie's eyes dart away from yours, clearing his throat. He shifts and you glance at the movement. His jeans are slightly loose again. The light denim jeans having turned dark at a wet spot. "Made me come like a fucking teenager," Eddie stands grabbing your hand. He tugs on your arm, leading you towards the bedroom.

You were definitely keeping the cowboy boots.

[gomzdrawfr]

the "Draw your two comfort characters together" thing

[aulerean]

any time i scribble aimlessly my brain just makes little guys

[strawberrypinky]

Character Tag ✨🩷

Rules: choose 4 of your favourite characters from 4 pieces of media as poll options and let your tumblr mutuals decide which one most suits your vibe, then tag 4 people.

Thank you for the tag @taveliara-as-in-tav 💕

I’m curious to hear what you guys think, because my selection is uhm… all over the place 😂

Tagging: @gufu-vire @legacygirlingreen @heyitszev @avani-telvanni & @nyda-the-tav 💕

[cheerfullycatholic]

The conservatives on my grandpa's TV are saying that making horror films based off of children's characters is communism

I'm so sick of some conservatives looking for something evil or wrong in everything they don't enjoy. Some of them did the same thing when Barbie made a down syndrome doll 🙄 the ableism in Steven Crowder's video and comment section was disgusting. Not liking the plot of the movie is fine obviously, I don't care about they do and don't like to watch, but there's nothing communist about writing scary fanfiction about childhood characters and turning it into a movie and I will fight

[dreamsy990]

good thing sora doesnt ask questions

[aztarion]

btw this paragraph

[dragonwysper]

So apparently House of Leaves has a dedicated fanbase on AO3.

Here are some. Lovely examples from the tags.

Scorched Earth, Hardened Hearts, and a House of Blood Soaked Leaves | The Skywalker Record: A Detailed Scholarly Analysis, by Chirrut Îmwe | House of Seinfeld

peace is only when i die | If These Walls Could Talk | Cohabitation #1

Houses and O's | Hungover | The Hundred Acre House

[oculusxcaro]

Khare is not an inherently violent person but she will have violent reactions when it comes to certain situations. These involve jumping her from behind (especially trying to get a bag over her head), coming anywhere near her with a needle or jumping out at her while wearing a bear costume. These are guaranteed to get her kicking and biting.

[gikairan]

Everyone taking the Steamboat Willie design and making it do things Disney wouldn't sanction like....

you could have done that anyway. Disney would not have sued you for that. He didn't need to be in the public domain for you to do that.

Disney would have had a problem with you if you tried to sell Steamboat Willie. Not that you made him swear ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Public Domain is about being able to sell your version of the character, not "do whatever you like with it for free". You could do whatever you like with it on the internet anyway, you will not face consequence. Just as long as you didnt try to make money off of it - no one was going to come after you.

[diseaseriddencube]

tempted to make one of those old style theory posts where every character secretly represents a mental illness owoooouughg spookyyyyy

but for the akudama

[little-flame-prince]

cute little dudes from around the world

From right to left: Winnie the Pooh (England), Bholu (India), Schnappi (Germany), Molang (South Korea), Cheburashka (Russia), Hello Kitty (Japan), Pusheen (United States), McDull (Hong Kong), Mumintrollet (Finland), a Smurf (Belgium), Miffy (Netherlands), and Babar (France)

[theflirtmeister]

this is hoffstrahm

somehow... i understand you.....

[atlantis54]

personally i like calling rabbit x tigger “manzai duo” instead of rabger/tigbit because their whole dynamic is one giant manzai routine

for clarification: the basis of manzai is that theres a tsukkomi and a boke- a serious guy and a funny guy. the funny guy goofs off a lot while the serious guy is there to make sure that the funny guy isnt too annoying. think of it as like a comedy duo or double act but japanese

tigger and rabbit fit into this dynamic very well with tigger being the boke/funny guy and rabbit being the tsukkomi/serious guy respectfully. it also helps that they’re foils to each other which is what manzai is all about. so its pretty much manzai but the funny guy and the serious guy are in a romantic relationship

tldr: rabger = gay manzai

thank you for reading my short analysis next time on Rambling About My Hyperfixations For 10 Hours Featuring Yours Truly “atlantis54″ i will explain wtp lore and automatically lose all of my followe