#This sounds like an optimization problem to me so it probably means a bunch of linear algebra

[network-rail]

In order to maximize disruption across the network this holiday season, we’ll be using AI to determine what sections of the network to close for maintenance. It’s already suggested Clapham Junction and the entire West Coast Main Line, so things are going well.

[beccanoodles]

Spike and Faye Pairing Analysis

March 2021

Ah the hit or miss pairing of the century! If you don’t love it, you probably hate it lol. I’m a very analytical person so I love analyzing works of art and overall enjoy deep discussions about them too. I have SO much to say when it comes to Cowboy Bebop (and oh I plan to), but I have decided to start with my very own OTP. Here, I am not really going to discuss Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other, but rather why I think people are drawn to this pairing and why I think they're totally valid. Get ready for a long read!😁

⚠️SPOILER WARNING!!! [Major Cowboy Bebop and the movie Out of the Past spoilers]⚠️

First off, let’s clear something up. I am confident most of us can agree that Spike was in love with Julia. Some people assume Spike and Faye fans are deranged and disregard Spike and Julia’s romantic relationship to try and make something of Spike and Faye that never was. While some people may have their various theories and opinions on this, generally, I don’t think anyone denies Spike’s love for Julia. As we will see, this pairing is not really driven by who loves who...let’s first look on the surface.

I don’t know your experiences with the series, but in mine, every time I show this to people it never fails for someone to say something along the lines of,

“Wait, they don’t end up together?”

“Why didn’t he kiss her!?”

“He should have stayed with her...”

and so fourth. 

Naturally, this pairing catches many eyes. 

Think about it, you are given two really cool, really hot and really deep characters that are really fun to see together! There are so many parallels between the two and they are arguably the strongest characters of the bunch. Granted, you can agree with this and still not ship them, but these aspects are part of what opens up the door for many fans of the pairing.

However, there is certainly more to this pairing than them simply looking good together right? As the years pass and I’ve now seen the show multiple times, my understanding of it has evolved in many areas, Spike and Faye included. 

Spike and Faye really couldn’t have ended up together. Sure, it’s a nice thought, but It would have been an entirely different show if they had. I don’t feel that the show should have happened any other way and I don’t think many other fans would either. 

So, what am I saying here?

What’s the point of this paring if I don’t think they should have ended up together? 

It is what's so frustrating about them, yet keeps you coming back and what honestly validates this pairing in my opinion. Spike and Faye are not driven by what is, but rather, what could be.  

I personally feel the themes of classic film Noir are not discussed enough when it comes to Cowboy Bebop! This is one of the show's major influences, especially when it comes to the plot and characters.

One of the common tropes of a film noir is that of a protagonist who is drawn back into his past and ultimate doom, usually by the “seduction” of a femme fatale. In these movies, the women are either a femme fatale [devious, dangerous, mysterious, greedy, troubled, or unreliable] or a woman of virtue [reliable, dutiful, trustworthy, conventional and loving]. 

I am going to use the 1947 classic, Out of the Past to make my comparisons from here on out.

In Out of the Past, Jeff is a former detective who gets caught up in a love triangle between a gangster and his girlfriend Kathie, sound familiar? He attempts to run away with her, but is betrayed and runs off to start a new life in a new town. Here, he meets Ann and falls in love with her, but of course, his past catches up to him and he is drawn back into the world of criminals (largely by Kathie’s involvement). This ultimately results in his and Kathie’s deaths and Ann’s heartbreak. 

Even though Kathie is the femme fatale in this movie, I found myself comparing her more to Julia’s role in the show, than to Faye’s and I found that Faye actually fit best in Ann’s role (this is a bit unusual considering Faye is typically seen as the femme fatale of this show).

Does that mean I think Julia was as ill intentioned as Kathie or that Spike fell in love with Faye? Well, not exactly, let’s look at it a bit further.

“The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can’t leave alone...Like an angel from the underworld or a devil from paradise.”

Most of what we get about Julia is from Spike’s point of view. From this, we learn she is at the center of Vicious and Spike’s conflict, but aside from that she is basically depicted as “The Virtuous Woman” of a noir. The colors around her are warm and she is shown caring for Spike. There is an innocence and modestly about her as well.

Yet, when we finally do meet Julia, we get a different image. We know she is tied up with dangerous men, but is she herself a dangerous woman?

She is certainly capable of betrayal. 

Suddenly she is a bad-ass-gun-toting woman in leather and black, surrounded by hues of grey and dark blue. Intentional or not, Julia is a major part of what lures Spike back into the past and ultimately to his death. In this case, Julia is the femme fatale of Spike’s story and thus, their relationship is doomed from the start.

Faye, on the other hand, is portrayed in somewhat of a contrast. When we first meet her, she is the clear cut femme fatale, appearing cunning, strong willed and seductive. However, we soon find that she has quite a bit of kindness and naivety hidden behind her facade. She uses the former tactics as a way of emotional (and probably physical) protection. Gren points this out in his conversation with her. 

Gren, 

“You’re just afraid they’d abandon you so you abandoned them. You distanced yourself from the whole thing.”

As the show progresses, we start to see less of her “femme fatale nature” and something more genuine. Think about it, between Hard Luck Woman and RFB Part 2 we don’t see much of Faye as her typical conniving or unreliable self, aside from changing the course of the Bebop maybe. Sure she takes off, but it isn’t at all for the same reasons she did in Jupiter Jazz or Speak Like a Child, for example. 

I would argue we actually see her more trustworthy and caring than ever. Since I don’t want to spend too much time talking about Faye’s character development (not here at least) I’ll give one example of this. 

When she returns to the Bebop after her encounter with Julia in RFB Part 1, she gives Spike the message, even though the outcome might hurt her (i.e. he leaves and/or dies). While she does first say “It’s gonna cost you,” she doesn’t really mean it because she tells him without hesitation only moments later.

This isn’t to say Faye good, Julia bad. Both women have their layers and even though we know way more about Faye, I don’t get the impression that Julia is selfish and cunning like Kathie was. But I do get the feeling she was enclosed in a world of crime and betrayal the way Kathie was. We really only know the basics of Spike and Julia’s situation. Who knows the details like motive or how long it lasted etc. etc. We can only speculate...

There is a scene towards the end of Out Of The Past, where Kathie tells Jeff to go away with her. This time it is her asking him, just like Julia asks Spike. During this she mentions,

“I never told you I was anything but what I am, you just wanted to imagine I was. That’s why I left you.”

This got me thinking...did Spike imagine Julia as something she wasn’t? Or something he wanted her to be that she just couldn’t be? 

It could explain why we get such contrasted images of her.

There are themes of this “dreamlike” relationship between Jeff and Kathie, similar to Spike and Julia’s “It was all a dream.”

The two of them were going to “live and be free,” probably something neither of them knew how to do and most likely wouldn’t have been able to get away with.

When Jet asks Spike if he can just forget the past, this is his answer.

Spike,

“There was a woman. For the first time in my life I saw a woman that was truly alive. At least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I had lost, that part that was missing, that I had been longing for.”

I always wondered about this, because Spike is clearly talking about Julia, but right after is when Faye shows up. To me, that spoke volumes...

Faye is a woman who is terribly human and terribly alive.

Going back to Faye and Ann, I find their similarities shine not so much in the “Virtuous Woman,” concept, but rather in Ann’s dedication to Jeff and her optimism for the future. She is also the last person to talk to Jeff before he leaves for the final time, as if he were being presented with one last alternative. Spike spends his last moments with Faye as well, in which she basically begs him not to go and keep him in the present that she has now discovered for herself. She may be stuck, but she is definitely someone that yearns for human connection, love, and life.

The problem is, Spike and Faye are both set in opposite directions. Her’s leads to a future and Spike knows this because he points it out early on (My Funny Valentine). He also knows, his most likely does not. He has already dug himself too deep into this hole, if you will, that there is really no turning back. 

But let’s say none of that was an issue? What could be?

I sat and watched this movie (Out of the Past) with my mom. She didn’t know anything about it and didn’t know why I was watching it. I wanted her genuine reaction. The whole time she was getting mad at Jeff until the very end. I asked her why and she said that she wanted him to be able to live happily with Ann. I explained to her why he had to do what he did. She understood this, but still couldn’t help but be sad at how things turned out for him, when they could have been good.

Even though Kathie and Jeff are the “lovers,” of this movie, you don’t really want them to end up together. Forget that Kathie has a devious nature, regardless, you know where it has to end and you don’t want to see your hero die.

Like Kathie, Julia symbolizes Spike’s inevitable doom and Like Ann, Faye symbolizes his possible future. 

“I’ll be with you till the end”

                           “You’re the one still tied to the past Spike!”

                                                               “Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you gonna do, just throw your life away like it was nothing?!”

It’s two sides of a sad coin...

We want Spike to have a future and because we love the characters of the show, it would be really great if he could have it with them, but that is where the tragedy is. It's only an idea we can think about, a possibility presented to us as it was to Jeff and Spike before their deaths.

The bottom line is, when it comes to Spike and Faye you are really only given a taste. You are not given what you expect to see, which is why I say this ship is driven by what could be. As it is with most of the character relationships in the show, no major breakthroughs are made until the very end, when it's too late. Then it just feels like such wasted potential, but sometimes in life, that's how it is. And thus, we have been given a very classic noir here ladies and gentlemen!

So no, I don’t think people miss the mark when they ship Spike and Faye, nor do I find they invalidate the show by any means. I kind of like that Watanabe switched it up and didn’t do the expected, but left us those subtle hints. He didn’t outright give Spike another lover, but he gave us someone that represents what he could have. Kind of does that with the crew as a whole too!

UGH. I love-hate this show and I love this pairing! Thank you for reading my thoughts and I know this may not be the case or reasoning for everyone, but just based on what I have seen around the community and where this show draws inspiration, this is what I have concluded. I didn’t get into Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other because it gets a little more theoretical there, but I would like to do a post on my thoughts on that as well sometime. I also didn’t touch too much on Spike’s reasoning for choosing to face Vicious in the end, just because I know that will only lead into a whole other analysis lol. But you know I have my thoughts on that and certainly plan to share them 😎 Also, I know I basically spoiled it, but Out of the Past is such a great movie!! I think if you’re a fan of this show it's definitely worth a watch! There are so many more parallels to Cowboy Bebop that I didn’t even mention. Anyways, thanks again and talk to you soon!

[fandomfixationstation]

Warning: mention of death of a loved one.

Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer

He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 

probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly

though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.

Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.

“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 

“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 

“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 

“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  

“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 

“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 

“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 

“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 

“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.

“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 

“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.

“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 

“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.

“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 

”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon

This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did

if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.

he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 

is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 

after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 

“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 

“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 

“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.

“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 

“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.

“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 

“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 

“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 

after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 

“do you want a hug?”

“please-”

Leviathan

since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on

unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 

will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.

eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them

Satan

He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.

though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.

he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.

or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.

doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them

Asmodeus 

he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 

probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.

when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 

knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!

Beelzebub

one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.

once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.

bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 

will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better

Belphegor

tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 

with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong

if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.

once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 

will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’

Solomon

since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.

might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 

when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 

will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them

Simeon 

doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows

but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone

they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.

will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 

mans will try to comfort them any way he can.

_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 

[m3kuroshirt]

House of Assassins Part Three

Links to Part One, Part Two

Word Count: 2704

Warnings: None

Ichigo had a Problem. And that Problem’s name was Grimmjow. For the past two months, the strong, handsome, sometimes brash, and very, very forward man seemed to show up almost everywhere Ichigo went. And yes, Ichigo liked looking at his pretty eyes and his strong chest and his smug grin. But also, Ichigo had jobs. Dangerous jobs. How was he supposed to complete them with a civilian hanging around him all the time, and not give himself away? Whether he enjoyed Ichigo’s company or not, he was almost certain that Grimmjow would go running to the cops like a good citizen if he knew the true nature of Ichigo’s work.

Which is why, on a Thursday, Ichigo was outside perched on a park bench…at one in the morning. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands briefly. His head was fuzzy from being awake all day and then dragging himself out to the park so late…early?...but he needed to try and keep his wits about him. The man he was meeting was known for his…games. And Ichigo had no intention of getting strung along. Especially as the man was a friend of Kisuke’s. Ichigo really had to wonder at that man’s definition of friendship…did he think it just meant ‘person who hasn’t killed me yet’? Ichigo shook his head with a sigh.

“That’s a pretty dramatic sigh,” a low voice commented. Ichigo turned to look over his shoulder. In the moonlight he could see a shadow of a figure standing several feet away. “Life got you down?” The figure approached now that he knew he had Ichigo’s attention. As he stepped closer, Ichigo could make out more details. Long dark wavy hair pulled back in a low ponytail. A suit that looked slightly disheveled as if the person had taken a nap in it. Scruff around the chin and five o’ clock shadow on his cheeks. A tired-looking face with a kind expression, but with eyes as sharp as the blades he figured had to be concealed somewhere on the man’s person. After all, Shunsui Kyoraku was known for wielding dual swords.

The man was beside the bench now. He gestured to the empty space next to Ichigo. “Mind if I join you?”

Ichigo shrugged, feigning indifference. He didn’t dare let the other man see how intimidated he felt. “Do what you want.”

Shunsui eased himself onto the bench with a sigh. “You know, I was a little surprised at the time Kisuke suggested. It’s not easy for an old man like me to get out and about at all hours of the night anymore,” he spoke with the air of a man commenting on the weather, but Ichigo knew there was another meaning to his words. ‘You better be worth the effort I’m making to see you’ was the unspoken threat in the older man’s eyes when Ichigo met his gaze. Ichigo stared back at him calmly, brown eyes determined and unwavering. Shunsui must have liked what he saw there, because he smiled suddenly. He turned to face forward, observing the empty park in the silvery light of the moon and stars. “You know, there’s a new pharmaceutical company in town. Pretty interesting, actually, they say they have a new drug. One that’s supposed to enhance the user’s fitness and strength, optimize calorie use, cut down reaction time, and just overall make a person physically…better.”

“Do they?” Ichigo wasn’t stupid. He’d heard of Hueco Mundo Pharmaceuticals. He’d even seen promos for their so-called ‘miracle pill’. To the average person it probably sounded ‘too good to be true’. To those desperate enough to try it, they probably believed it was a bit embellished. To Ichigo? He figured it probably did all those things exactly as advertised. He’d been around Kisuke long enough to know things that seemed impossible were rarely actually so. But he wondered what a person had to sacrifice to reap the benefits of that ‘miracle pill’.

“They do.” Shunsui’s voice had lowered and his tone was more serious now. “Naturally, Unohana looked into it.” Ichigo felt his lips quirk upward slightly at the mention of Unohana Retsu, the number one pharmacist in the city, and Kisuke and Tessai’s personal supplier for both medications and poisons. Though, he couldn’t help the twinge of unease in his chest. If Unohana looked into it, there was most definitely something wrong. The woman didn’t get involved personally where she didn’t have to. Even with Tessai and Kisuke, she insisted they were customers and business was not to be discussed outside of work-hours when she visited for tea.

“And?”

“Shinji. Hiyori. Kensei. Hanataro. Four of her top employees are missing.”

Ice gripped Ichigo’s soul and he felt dread wash over him. His hands clenched into fists and a frown settled onto his face. “Does she know what happened?”

A light breeze stirred the night air, tugging gently at Shunsui’s long hair and making a shiver roll down Ichigo’s spine. “They were sent to find out information. Not even infiltrate, just act as customers. Each of them disappeared after receiving one shipment of the medication. We don’t even know if they ingested any. There’s no trace of them, and the only hint we even had that they managed to get the medication was the packaging found in their homes.” Shunsui paused for a moment and let the information sink in. Then he continued, “Until yesterday. Unohana received an unlabelled, unmarked package. It had a disc inside.”

Ichigo’s mouth went dry. Images of the four employees, people he might even dare to call friends, rushed through his mind. “What…what was on the disc?” he asked. His voice was strained, and he hated the emotion it gave away, but Shunsui didn’t look at him, didn’t even blink.

“You’d have to see it to believe it,” was all he answered, his voice uncharacteristically soft and saddened. He cleared his throat. “You know how Unohana is. She has her pride. There’s no way she’s letting this go. But she can’t act on her own. Four of her best are out of action, and she’s in the eye of the public as a charitable public figure, advocating for health care and all that. Isane is pulling more than triple her usual amount of work. There’s no one else. She reached out to me, but…well.”

Ichigo closed his eyes and swallowed the bile that threatened to rise up in his throat. “Well what? You’re not usually one to outsource to Kisuke,” he prompted, trying to keep his mind off the inevitable fate of his friends. Shunsui sighed.

“You’re aware that two of our squad captains…defected last year and went rogue.”

Ichigo gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “You’re kidding. You’re not telling me they joined Hueco Mundo?”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. And that’s why I can’t send my people after them. Gin and Tousen know all of them. Hell, Tousen trained more than half of them. We’d get nothing but a bunch of dead spies if I sent anyone after them.” Shunsui didn’t try to hide his frustration. He clasped his hands together so tightly the knuckles turned white, and he fixed a glare at the shadows in the distance. He took a deep breath in and rolled his shoulders back, stretching his neck. “Unohana doesn’t want to just hit the company where it hurts. She wants to obliterate them. Cut off their head, so to speak.” Shunsui finally turned to face Ichigo again. Ichigo met his gaze calmly, doing his best not to give away the roiling rage, the burning fear, the sickening unease that settled into his gut. “I’m asking you to take the job. You’ll be well compensated, once the head of the company is dead.”

Ichigo took one breath. In and out. Then another. Nice and easy. His restless thoughts cleared away like clouds sailing on the wind. There was only one choice; from the moment he’d been asked to go by Kisuke he’d made up his mind. He wouldn’t back out now.

“I’ll do it.”

***

The streetlights cast a warm glow as the limousine sped to his home. Ichigo hadn’t been able to refuse Shunsui’s offer to escort him home, especially when the walk to the park had been cold enough on its own. And he trusted Nanao’s driving.

“You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you,” Shunsui commented, a fonder look on his face now that he wasn’t talking business. Ichigo shrugged.

“I was fifteen.” He kept his answers short, to the point. Regardless who he knew, or for how long, Ichigo would rather not be too trusting of Shunsui. The man ran a spy ring, after all. He had to be one of the most dangerous players in the game of life in Karakura Town. And Ichigo had been evading him for a while.

As if understanding his intentions, the older man chuckled and reached out. Ichigo tensed but didn’t move away as Shunsui ruffled his bright orange hair. “Keep your distance all you want, but I promise I’m not trying to recruit you again. Kisuke and Yoruichi both made it clear you’re not looking for a new boss. But I do have to say I miss seeing all you kids. You sure were a lively bunch whenever Kisuke brought you around.” Shunsui’s hand withdrew and Ichigo felt himself relax again.

“It’s your own fault you don’t see us,” Ichigo reminded the other man, giving him a cold glare. Shunsui blinked, eyes widening for a fraction of a second with surprise. Something flashed in his expression, but Ichigo didn’t quite catch it before Shunsui’s easy-going mask of a smile was back in place.

“Well,” he laughed, and it almost sounded genuine, “I suppose you’re right about that.” The limo pulled to a stop in front of his house. Ichigo hastily exited the vehicle, and just about slammed the door behind him, but Shunsui spoke again. “Wait. You’ve forgotten something.”

Ichigo turned around, mouth open to snap at the man, only to see him holding Ichigo’s phone, which he’d left on the seat next to him. Ichigo snapped his mouth shut and reached for the phone, but Shunsui snatched his hand back, a smile playing on his lips like it did when he used to tease the kids as he watched over them for Kisuke. Ichigo narrowed his eyes. He was in no mood to play this game.

“Give me my phone back, old man,” he grumbled.

“Ichigo?” a familiar voice called and Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face. He glanced to the side and, sure enough, there was Grimmjow, standing in his front yard in a pair of sweats and a tank top. He opened his mouth and shut it, no words coming out. Why the hell is he outside at this time of night? This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. This is why I requested the meeting time. What in the fuck?!

Seemingly realizing Ichigo was in a tough position, Shunsui decided to have mercy. He held the phone out again. Ichigo glanced at him and snatched the phone out of his hand. He gave the old man a glare, and Shunsui just smiled back at him as Ichigo slammed the door shut. The limousine pulled away. Ichigo took in a deep breath and turned around to face Grimmjow, only to find the blue-haired man standing right in front of him.

***

Grimmjow had been sleeping…not so well. Despite the announcement from Jinta two months ago, it felt less like Ichigo wanted to date him and more like he wanted to avoid him. It was weird. The other man always smiled and greeted him, but he’d seemed more and more tired and less and less enthusiastic. Maybe the kid read it wrong? Maybe Grimmjow read it wrong? Maybe they were all wrong and Ichigo was embarrassed and too polite to say so? He groaned and rubbed his hands on his face. He snuck a look at his bedside clock and groaned again. Two fourty-five? Fuck. Are you kidding me? Grimmjow scowled. His throat was dry now. With a sigh, he heaved himself up and out of bed, padding down to the kitchen for a glass of water. He was reaching for a glass when light flooded through the gaps in the curtains. Grimmjow paused and frowned. He abandoned his original objective to see who would be paused in front of his home at ass-o-clock in the morning.

He couldn’t quite see from the window, so he opened the front door and stepped outside. The car was long, a limousine, he could see now, in the light of the streetlamp and the headlights. It was parked in front of Ichigo’s house. Grimmjow waited as the door opened and a familiar figure stepped out. He squinted, but when the figure turned back toward the vehicle, he got a better look at their face.

“…Ichigo?” he called out. The figure started, and then Ichigo was meeting his gaze in the dim streetlight. He looked…afraid? There must have been a commotion from the limo, because Ichigo turned back to it, and reached in to grab something. Grimmjow frowned. His actions didn’t look natural or relaxed, but tense and on-guard. He started toward the limo, worried if he took his eyes off his neighbour for a second that he would be snatched back into the limo and disappear forever.

As if on a cue, right as he reached him Ichigo slammed the door shut and the limo sped away. Ichigo turned, as if expecting Grimmjow to be in his yard still. His wide-eyed expression told Grimmjow the other man hadn’t expected him to be right in front of him. Grimmjow stared at him. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. Ichigo’s eyes were dark in the dim light, with a lighter ring of amber around the outside of the iris. After the initial startle response, his gaze slowly softened and Grimmjow could see a sadness in his eyes. They both opened their mouths to speak at the same time, but stopped. Grimmjow gestured for Ichigo to continue.

Ichigo smiled at him gently. His face had a really warm glow in the soft streetlights now that the limo and its harsh lights were gone. “What are you doing out here so late?”

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows. “Could say the same to you.”

Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and tore his gaze away. “Asked you first,” he mumbled. Grimmjow pursed his lips but decided not to argue the point of who looked more out-of-place right now.

He rolled his shoulders, hairs on his arms prickling in the cold. “Couldn’t sleep. Went to get water, and I saw the light from the limo. So I came out to see who was parked out here in the middle of the night,” he replied shortly. Ichigo nodded, eyes still not meeting Grimmjow’s. “Your turn.”

Ichigo swallowed. “I was. Working.”

Grimmjow folded his arms. “Really.”

Ichigo looked at him now, brown eyes pleading. “That’s as much as I can tell you. Please. I’m sorry.” Grimmjow searched his eyes, but he found no lies in them.

“…are you alright, at least? You didn’t look too happy talking to…whoever that was.”

Ichigo’s hesitation said it all. Grimmjow kept his gaze fixed on him, staring at him intently, as if he could pull the answer out of Ichigo with only his gaze. The other man lowered his gaze, opened his mouth, closed it, opened it and closed it again. Finally, he just shook his head. “No. Not really,” he whispered, voice sounding strained. Discomfort settled in Grimmjow’s chest and he felt the urge to reach out, to touch, comfort, console…but he resisted. Instead, he dropped his arms to his sides.

“C’m ‘ere,” he directed, turning slightly toward his own home. Ichigo looked up, confusion etched into his face. Grimmjow jerked his head toward his house. “Come sit inside. I ain’t gonna be able to sleep and you look too wound up right now. We can talk, or whatever.” Ichigo blinked. Then he gave a soft smile.

“Yeah, ok. That sounds good.” And he followed Grimmjow into the house.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 6

Day 6 - When your soulmate is injured you will experience pain in that area

Pairing(s): Analoceitmus [ambiguous, can be read romantic or platonic, or a mix], QPR Royality 

TWs: Injury mention, swearing, Remus being Remus near the end 

–

“I’m going to sue him.”, Logan hissed, attempting to sit up in his hospital bed, “Soulmate or not, how can one man possibly be so irresponsible?! I’m definitely going to sue him.”

He winced as he tried to get comfy, but the tough mattress and uncomfortable bunching of the sheets said suffer. 

And boy, was he. 

Logan Sanders was an immaculate, careful man. Had been since he was a child. A neat and tidy lad who - upon learning of the rules of fate - made it his utmost mission to spare his soulmate any pain or anguish for as long as he could manage. 

His soulmate, however, didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

From childhood, Logan found himself with sudden knee pains from scrapes he never fell for, abrasions he had caused no friction to gain, and the occasional shoulder or back pain as if he’d been pushed over when he was standing perfectly upright. At least the universe had decided to spare humanity the anguish of leaving soulmates with the physical injuries that came with the pain, but it was only a minor comfort.

Logan couldn’t say he hadn’t expected a lot of rough and tumble from his soulmate after his elementary school years, but really; a broken leg, facial burns, and a splintered forearm? “This is absolute bullshit.”, he bitterly muttered, “Barely hours apart! How is that even possible?!”

His ranting went ignored by the nurse who came to administer his medication; thankfully science had worked out a wonderful little clear pill that could banish the pain from particularly debilitating soulmate pains. The little bastards were expensive - the true pain is always capitalism within the medical world -  but Logan’s job paid handsomely. Say what you will about computer nerds and whatnot, but programming for the right people lets you make some seriously high end bread. None of that homemade farmer’s market shit.

Unfortunately, he’d have to wait about a week for his pains to ebb gently into nothingness until the klutz of a man fate paired him with got into MORE trouble. Thus Logan couldn’t get back to his work. His leg was, for all intents and purposes, broken so the staff couldn’t let him go home. He couldn’t simply drive home himself either, his splintered forearm saw to that. And Logan couldn’t even ask his roommate Emile to bring him his work laptop to try and keep his workload at bay, his left eye was too cloudy and painful to concentrate on a screen. 

Yes; his soulmate BETTER be paying his hospital bills.

Realisation struck Logan; his soulmate is obviously just as injured, ergo it’s a high probability that he could be somewhere within the hospital too. Using his good hand to reach for a pen, and absolutely dreading adding to his pain, Logan poked the tip into his good arm, wincing as he first attempted to contact them with simple morse code, “My/ Name/ Is/ Logan. Who/ Are/ You?”

He waited for a response, fearing he would have to start scratching his name onto his arm when he felt the little jabs in response,  “Janus.” Great. He FINALLY had a name to put on the lawsuit. Logan, already wincing at the bee-sting pain from the pen, he jabbed out another message,

“Are/ You/ Currently/ Staying/ At/ Stokes/ General/ Hospital?”

The reply came cryptically,

“Yes / I / -”

Logan wasn’t sure why his soulmate had suddenly stopped replying. Had a nurse confiscated whatever his soulmate was using to poke himself? Either way, Logan would have to be content with the knowledge his soulmate was at least close by. He truly had no idea how close until two very disgruntled voices were within earshot of his room door,

“Brilliant, I just adore being ousted from my comfortable bed so I could spend even longer looking at your delightful face.”

“Oh, like you’re the victim here, asshole! You’re the one stabbing yourself and fucking up my unbroken arm!”

Logan watched them both argue outside of his room door. Both men were sporting similar injuries to his own; the first one that had spoken, refined looking gentleman with sharp features and neat blonde hair, had the left side of his face bandaged heavily. Meanwhile the other man, sporting raven hair and eye bags that could carry a month’s worth of groceries, was fitted with a cast on his left forearm. Both of them were on crutches, though Logan couldn’t see if either had a genuine cast.

“Ahem. Gentlemen?”

Logan called to them, watching as both turned to meet his gaze. He lifted the pen in his hand and asked, “I take it one of you is Janus?”

The man with the bandages over his eye, Janus, nodded, “That would be me.”

The man with the broken arm looked confused, “Wait, so, you’re the one who was ramming a pen into their arm? Damn.”, he turned, begrudgingly to the first man, “I guess I owe you an apology then.”

“Really you needn’t-”

“Then I shan’t.”

Janus glared at the other man’s snark, but Logan found it rather delightful. Clearing his throat once more, he breached the topic, “I take it that means we three are soulmates?”

“Four.”

Logan and Janus looked to the third man as he explained, “Your leg doesn’t have a proper cast on it, this asshole doesn’t have one either,”, Janus gifted the man a half glare and a middle finger before he continued, “And since I don’t have one, it’s pretty obvious there’s a fourth musketeer.”

Fair to say, Logan was impressed, even Janus was hiding the tiniest hint of admiration as he retorted, “And are we to call you Sherlock or D’artagnan?”

The man rolled his eyes, “Ha ha, fuck you. My name’s-”

“VIRGIL!!”

The man, Virgil, nearly lept out of his skin, jerking his arm and giving the three of them a jolt of pain. Logan felt relieved he’d only have to put up with it for a few more days once the medicine took effect. 

In the doorway stood a man who could only be described as unnecessarily handsome, clad in a burgundy bomber jacket and a Nightmare Before Christmas shirt that seemed out of place on someone who stood poised like the protagonist of a romance anime. Logan noted he and Janus both checked to see if his leg was broken; good to know they had similar tastes even if the man’s lack of a cast dashed their hopes. Said handsome man made a beeline for Virgil, only to receive a swat and a motion to back off, 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Princey, you nearly gave me a heart attack!!!”, Virgil hissed and took a deep breath. ‘Princey’ let out a fond huff, “You should be so lucky, Bring Me The Depression, do you know how worried Pat and I were when we couldn’t find you!? This, dearest Emo Nightmare, is karma at its finest-!”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up, Roman. Where’s Pat? He’s gonna wanna meet my soulmates.”

Roman blinked, finally registering Logan and Janus just watching the two of them reunite. Clearing his throat, Logan made the introductions, “I’m Logan Sanders, this gentleman is-”

“Janus Delgado. Charmed I’m sure.”, Janus butt in, “Really, Logan, I can introduce myself. Unlike some people.”

Virgil flipped him off just in time for Roman to frown in confusion, “And…. you’re all sure you’re soulmates? I mean, no offense but you don’t...”, he picked his words carefully, his face contorting at the effort, “....act like soulmates?”

The three of them looked between one another and shrugged, “To be perfectly fair - Roman, yes? - we have all literally just met today under…. Less than optimal circumstances. I doubt you and your soulmate, assuming you’ve found them, hit it off instantly.”

Roman blinked, “Kind of, we didn’t have any problems like this, quite honestly...”, he almost sounded guilty at that notion, “The worst we have to deal with is his cat allergies-”

Out in the hallway, a couple of nurses hurriedly walked past and allowed another man into the room who immediately lit up at the sight of Roman and Virgil, “There you both are!!! I got held up at the vending machine, but when I came back you were both gone!”

“Patton! How glad I am to see you once more!”, Roman beamed, pulling the taller man into a hug and planting a dramatic kiss upon his cheek, to which Logan, Janus, and Virgil simultaneously met with an ‘ugh’. Perhaps they were more alike than they first assumed. 

Patton turned to meet Janus and Logan’s gaze, looking back to Virgil who explained, “They’re two of my soulmates, Pat.”

For a moment, the tall excitable ball of sunshine looked like he was about to pop with joy when Roman held up a hand to interject, “Pardon me, but ‘two of’?”, and cast his confusion towards Virgil who explained, “Our last soulmate has a broken leg, it’s the only injury we can’t account for.”

Patton and Roman shared a momentary look, drawing Logan’s attention, “Roman? Patton? Are you both alright?”. The two seemed to play eye contact rock-paper-scissors to decide who would answer, with Roman losing apparently.

“When exactly did you feel the pain in your leg?”

“Couple hours ago” “Around three?” “Precisely 3:27 pm.”

Came the chorus of answers. Janus and Virgil both shot Logan a look, to which he quietly murmured, “It never hurts to provide a little extra clarity.”

“Apparently so,”, Janus began, before shifting his partial gaze to the couple, “So, are you lovebirds-”

“Qpp’s.”, Patton corrected quietly, to which, Janus did apologise, “Pardon me. So, are you queer platonic saps going to clue us in to why exactly you asked us such a specific question?”

Roman sighed, “I ask because my brother, Remus, broke his leg at that exact same time today. Pat and I were going to visit him right after we’d checked in with Virgil.”

The three soulmates shared a collective look, but the first one to pipe up was Virgil, “You have a brother?! Why am I only finding this out now, I’ve known you for 12 fucking years, Roman! What the fuck!?”

Logan exasperatedly ran a hand down his face as he tried to maneuver himself out of his bed and into one of the hospital’s wheelchairs, Janus offering a hand to him, “Virgil, as much as I would love to listen to you and Roman bicker back and forth, could we possibly save such trivialities for after we meet our fourth soulmate?”

This time Patton piped up, “Oh, um, you may not want to do that just yet-”

As if on cue, roughly six or seven medical staff rushed by, causing Patton and Roman to quickly look around the doorway, only to turn back to the others, “Well, no time like the present. Patton, if you help Virgil, I’ll help Janus once Logan can shimmy into that wheelchair.”, Roman assigned as he offered an arm for Logan to hold onto while he got himself in the chair. Noting the context clues, Logan was rightfully worried, especially as he felt a new pain in his hand, only to note that while Roman and Patton helped them move, Virgil and Janus seemed to be experiencing more pain in their legs than before. In the moment, Logan did feel a little bad that the pill he’d taken hours earlier was saving him from too much additional pain. Approaching the hospital room the medical staff had gathered within, the group were greeted with a wild scene.

A scruffy man strikingly similar in looks to Roman - albeit sporting a thin moustache and silver hair streak - wearing a leg cast was holding a crutch in one hand and an honest to god butterfly knife in the other, standing atop his hospital bed, raving like a lunatic and gesturing frantically to an empty space in the room,

“NOW WILL SOMEBODY FINALLY LET ME OUT OF HERE?! ME AND THIS BEAR WANNA GO CATCH HORNY FISH AND SHIT IN THE WOODS!!” 

Charming. 

Logan glanced over at Patton and Roman, the question clear on his face just like their answer. That was Remus alright. He watched Roman talk with a nurse trying to calm Remus, “We gave him some painkillers to ease his leg pains, but it shouldn’t be affecting him this much!”

“Oh, Remus has always been like this with medication, I should’ve warned the nursing staff.”, he groaned, “But that doesn’t explain-”

“He must’ve pushed the blue button behind his bed,”, Logan sighed, already anticipating Roman’s question, “The medical staff likely assumed Remus was coding and thus went into action. That’s why they’re here right now.”

Roman’s expression confirmed that was indeed going to be his question. As Roman went to help the nurses tranquilise Remus’ wild flailing, and while his other two soulmates stood by to watch the chaos - in varying degrees of worry and strange admiration bordering on attraction for his disregard for social norms - Logan tried to come to terms with the facts.

He had three very different soulmates, and by the looks of it? He’d have to get used to frequent hospital stays….

--------------

This one’s probably on the weirder side, but uh, yeah, I hope it’s still a good read! [Also sorry these have been a little late lately TTvTT] @tsshipmonth2020 Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses

[secondhoekage]

Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore

They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?

Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.

The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 

To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious

under the cut tho bc damn this is too long

In this essay I will—

Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 

I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 

I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her

Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out

In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights

CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :

“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”

...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)

I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful

Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.

I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!

Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still

At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool

And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...

I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 

I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 

Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away

Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt

I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight

[tazmuir]

GET READY FOR...

SEABOUND! A LOCKED TOMB UNIVERSE SURVIVAL ADVENTURE AND HOUSE IDENTIFICATION TOOL

You and a couple of your friends, if you have any, are on a boat in the ocean. Why are you here? Is this even relevant in the universe? Who cares. This ocean’s purpose is to help you pick… your true House identity.

Luckily, on this magical survival journey you have the opportunity to pick items to help you. You may salvage five items of the fifteen I am about to list under the cut. These items will be the key to who you are, secretly, on the inside. You’re probably going to die, but at least you will know who you are, which has to be some kind of comfort, right

These items will score you points with one or more Houses. Once you have made your selection, read the guide, tally your points, and discover… Yourself!!!!

PICK YOUR TOP FIVE OUT OF...

A sack  of mandibles

A sack  of fresh human hands

A  rolled-up flag of the Cohort, soldiers of the blessed Necrolord Prime

Pen and  flimsy

A bottle  of 160 proof rum   

A  waterproof portrait of the Emperor, here portrayed as the Merciful Resurrector

An empty  bottle with a lid to seal it

An ancient flare gun of curious make

A book  of antiquated Ninth House prayers

A 25 litre container of BLOOD

A single  sharp rapier

A  shaving mirror

A case  of absolutely disgusting army rations, hard and bad

A case  of extremely glamorous luxe rations, but poisoned

A  tinier, leakier fold-out raft, with a dubious motor

What’s that, you want it in image format??? 

WRITE YOUR TOP FIVE DOWN...........

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

It may be helpful to organise a tally sheet, like so.....

Don’t scroll down until you have made your choices...

No peeking past this point....

I mean it..............

DO NOT LOOK BELOW UNTIL YOU HAVE SETTLED YOUR CHOICES, UNLESS YOU ARE A HUGE CHEATER, IN WHICH CASE GIVE YOURSELF AN EXTRA +10 THIRD HOUSE POINTS

*****************

ITEM GUIDE

*****************

A SACK OF OLD OSSICLES

+15 Ninth House points

Only a Ninth House necromancer would want this. Not even a bone necromancer would look in joy on a sack of ossicles. If it was a more useful bone or even a fresher bone, sure, or let’s say a whole skeleton, that would be arguably useful, but in the hands of most bone adepts the ossicle is simply an ossicle. You’re from the Ninth House if you ranked this highly, which means odds are good that you are 90+ and have kidney and bladder problems.

A SACK OF FRESH HUMAN HANDS

+10 Third House points +7 Seventh House points +6 Second House points +5 Third House points +5 Fourth House points +5 Fifth House points +5 Sixth House points +5 Ninth House points

Fresh human hands are generally useful. Fresh flesh (say that five times fast) will carry a goodly amount of thanergy (death energy) and thalergy (life energy), which in the hands of a necromancer might be put to good purpose. Extra points to the Third and Seventh houses, places where you’re likely to find very talented flesh magicians; five points to the other houses as flesh magic is quite generally used, and if not, there’s a whole articulating hand in there for the bone magicians. The Ninth House don’t rate this quite as highly as the sack of ossicles because you have to get the flesh off first. The Eighth House does not want your sack of fresh human hands.

The Second House gets an extra point because we could always eat those hands. We’ve eaten worse.

A ROLLED-UP FLAG OF THE COHORT, SOLDIERS OF THE BLESSED NECROLORD PRIME

+15 Second House points +5 Seventh House points +1 point for every other House

Only a Second House denizen would think this was a must-have. It doesn’t even have a pole. You can’t fly it. You can just look at it and think patriotic thoughts about the Cohort. The only reason you get +1 from any other House is because you could maybe use it as shade. The Seventh House scores a cool five points off this one because it would be a very Seventh House thought to be found dead and draped in the Cohort flag. Symbolic… aesthetic…. Raw

PEN AND FLIMSY

+15 Sixth House points +10 Fifth House points +10 Seventh House points +10 Eighth House points

Reaching for the pen and flimsy first is a very Sixth House thing to do, because you’re going to immediately try to form a committee, have a huge argument, split off on your own and do some kind of brainstorm of ideas, then maybe you’re going to write down a bunch of bullshit equations and jot notes on the back about ways in which this might contribute to your research. The Fifth House also may well reach for this, but it’s to write down everyone on the boat’s memoirs, and perhaps a group letter expressing regret at what a bish they’ve made of it and perhaps a small measure of buttoned-up, restrained feeling for their lovers back home.

The Seventh House have written a single, very beautiful and oblique sentence about the water. The Eighth House have written down a list of any moral crimes committed on the boat.

A BOTTLE OF 160 PROOF RUM

+15 Third House points +5 Fourth House points +1 Second House points

CUP OF ACE, CUP OF GOOSE, CUP OF CRIS

The good Third House citizen has resigned themselves to death, but to not go gentle into that good night. The Fourth House thinks they could light this on fire, or something? Who knows

The Second House citizen will surprise you by doing a generous shot of this before everyone starts playing Mercy Stab The Weakest Members Of The Boat So They Won’t Have To Suffer.

A WATERPROOF PORTRAIT OF THE EMPEROR

+15 Eighth House points +5 Seventh House points +5 Ninth House points

The Eighth House citizen will pray at this grimly until they die. The Ninth House citizen will also do a certain amount of praying at this grimly until they die, but get less points because they’ll also be praying to other things.

The Seventh House citizen may hope to drape the Cohort flag over one of their dead bodies, and this to be held by another, and then they’ve got a tableau so symbolic that their rescuers will set it up as an art installation.

AN EMPTY BOTTLE WITH A LID TO SEAL IT

+9 Sixth House points +9 Fifth House points +9 Eighth House points

There’s no water around, so what are you going to do with this EXCEPT use it to put your rolled-up memoirs, thought crimes, or the useful rebuttal to that one article you just thought up and hope someone will rescue and publish?

AN ANTIQUE FLARE GUN OF CURIOUS MAKE

+15 Fourth House points +5 Fifth House points +5 Sixth House points

This thing will blow your head off. It’s a gun. Don’t – don’t fucking fire it here (NOISE OF BODY PARTS HITTING WATER)

It is intensely Fourth House to take an unbelievably dangerous piece of kit you barely understand and bravely fire it in the hope of getting rescued. It is also intensely Fifth and Sixth house just to keep a museum piece around so you can look at it and admire it. How interesting our antecedents were, to be sure

A BOOK OF ANTIQUATED NINTH HOUSE PRAYERS

+15 Ninth House points +5 Sixth House points +5 Seventh House points +1 Fifth House points ‘Nuff said.

The other points reflects different desperations in the Sixth and Fifth houses are for reading material, and the Seventh House might add this to the tableau as an Enigma.

A TWENTY-FIVE LITRE CONTAINER OF BLOOD!!!!

+9 Fifth House points

Nobody wants this and very few people are talented enough to separate the toxic iron stew from some drinkable plasma, or something. The Fifth House in its boundless optimism may take this thinking they might call a ghost, but otherwise, yuk

A SINGLE SHARP RAPIER

+10 Second House points +9 Fourth House points +9 Seventh House points +2 Third House points

The Second House knows that the death of a colleague neatly stabbing you is better than a death by drowning. The Fourth House is going to fuck up an octopus. The Seventh House is going to have it present, centrally, on the boat, and cast down glances through their eyelashes at it but otherwise never mention its presence, tortured. The Third House just wants a sword for the delicious drama. Delicious, delicious drama

A SHAVING MIRROR

+6 Fourth House points +2 Third House points

A mirror can reflect the sun, generating up to seven million candlepower in light. A mirror would be a very Fourth House idea: something that sounds unrealistic and stupid on first blush, but turns out to be a one in a million incredible idea that may even save your life.

The Third House just want to check their mascara, and also see over their shoulder before one of their boat colleagues sticks the single sharp rapier inside them. Drama

A CASE OF ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING ARMY RATIONS, HARD AND BAD

+9 Second House points +1 to every other House

We can’t fault you for practicality.

A CASE OF EXTREMELY GLAMOROUS LUXE RATIONS, BUT POISONED

+8 Third House points +5 Eighth House points

Fuck this noise and pass me the caviar, darling

The Eighth House are also ready to receive the poison, but they will try their damndest not to enjoy it.

A TINIER, LEAKIER FOLD-OUT RAFT, WITH A DUBIOUS MOTOR

+5 Fourth House points

This is not going to get you five yards on a free ticket, which is why hopping into it and getting that dusty, wheezy motor going, then sailing for help as the rest of the boat watches you sink into the ocean and get snapped up by a giant undead squid is the most Fourth House thing you could’ve done.

  **************

FAQ

**************

 WHAT DO I DO IN CASE OF A TIE?

Pick the House descriptor most like yourself, or most like the person you secretly wish you were, or with the colours you like best.

WHAT DO I DO IF I DON’T LIKE THE ANSWER?

We all have to live with pain. I have gotten sorted into Slytherin House every Sorting test I have ever taken. This is not correct. I am a muggle, and demand to be treated as such.

BUT I REALLY HATE MY ANSWER.

Then you’re a Firebender. Everyone loves being a Firebender.

CAN I BE IN THE FIRST HOUSE?

No, you cursed grandpa.

ARE YOUR HOUSES REALLY MADE UP OF NARROW STEREOTYPES?

No. You are just as likely to find a party-loving Second House member as you are to find a Fourth House deep thinker who always looks before they leap. These are simply the crude crystallizations, such as those used for soap operas and toothpaste advertisements.

SOMETHING ELSE?

Whatever your problem, you can always make up your own House, with the rider that you would have to make it up as though you were ten years old and were basing it heavily around whatever you were into at the time, which would mean that my House would be inspired entirely by the Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness manual

  **************

COUNT UP YOUR POINTS, DIVINE YOUR HOUSE, AND THEN…

Congratulations, dullard/poser/fool/stodge/nerd/drip/zealot/weirdo! You’re in the Second/Third/Fourth/Fifth/Sixth/Seventh/Eighth/Ninth House!!!

[natsunoomoi]

So sometimes I check wikis to like look things up about a show or series that I don’t have time to read or watch the whole thing fully cuz that’s a time investment I just don’t have but I have questions I just want a quick answer to.

The problem is, wikis are of course, made by like regular people with varying levels of biases and also sometimes selective memory of events. As can be seen in my more recent posts with SVSSS and MXTX’s works I’ve been on those wikis, but sometimes the explanations of plot points and a bunch of other stuff are really confusing and circular. SVSSS’s is being more cleaned up recently, but it still has some things that it says happened, that I couldn’t find at all when reading the book and I’m just like, where did they find that info to put on the wiki?

Like one of my earlier posts when I started reading SVSSS at the beginning, I mentioned how I read that original Luo Binghe got killed by his harem eventually and I thought that made sense cuz ultimately no one in that original plotline made choices that made them genuinely happy. But when I read the book, I didn’t see any mention of that anywhere...? I think last time I went to go look at BC Novels they had one chapter left to translate. Is it in there?

Then at other times, I wonder if there’s an inconsistency because there’s a limitation between the translation I read and like something in the original Chinese text like there’s a typo, which obviously there’s a mistake then. But then other times, I’m wondering if people read a different thing, but most of the people with a different interpretation don’t seem to be able to read Chinese and are reading the same translation as me, but I’m confused where they got certain details from?

Like for instance, there’s another part on the wiki where it says Airplane originally planned for PIDW to be a BL from the beginning, but I’ve literally been trying to find where that was stated because I don’t remember that and I don’t see that anywhere and the chapter citation that is listed on the wiki goes to a chapter that doesn’t talk about that at all. Airplane/Qinghua does say that he made changes to Qingqiu’s character that were originally more complex to make him a trash human and he did that to make a living, but I can’t find where it says he originally wanted it to be a BL theme to begin with. In the chapter they cite it says that Qinghua had designed Binghe to have an appearance in a way that appealed more to a female audience and be more of a pretty boy. That doesn’t mean that he meant his entire book to be a BL it just means you make your main character look a certain way partly for internal logic because that look is really popular with women so the in-story women would probably find him attractive and in a meta sense any females who happen to also read a stallion novel like some women read shounen manga would find him hot in real life. A successful story does things like that to reach people outside of its target audience and that’s kind of a lot of the reason why a lot of Shounen Jump manga are really popular with women too even though a lot of the stories have the male perspective in mind. The chapter it cites only talks about the actual physical appearance design choice he made for Binghe vs Mobei-Jun. He just says that Mobei-Jun was made for the kind of male character he prefers to think about, but Binghe was just designed with the idea of what would make him more popular and also could kind of be like a self-insert-ish for his desire to beat on people for funsies. It doesn’t talk at all about what the genre he planned for the book to be and interpreting the text to that much is really stretching the context to wishful thinking levels. I don’t even actually care either way what kind of novel PIDW was because it’s not actually that important to enjoying the story of SVSSS, but I don’t know if it’s the Ravenclaw in me or what, but it just bugs me when there’s something that seems *wrong* printed on a thing that is supposed to inform other people. I’m literally reading chapters at the same time as trying to write this post to find where I think maybe it was said, but it sure as hell wasn’t the chapter the wiki cites.

The other day I re-read the chapter when Qinghua taunts SY with Qingqiu’s real memories, and he doesn’t even say it then. ATM, I’m trying to look through the last chapter because there’s that one part when Qinghua shows up right at the end and talks with SY at the celebration, but even at the start at the chapter, SY talks about how Qingqiu was super straight to him. SY is an unreliable narrator, but given the context of Qingqiu’s life events that makes sense. His personal trauma because of Qiu Jianluo also pushed him away from any amount of closeness he could have with other men other than ones he already trusted to some degree. He had a lot of problems forming new relationships of any kind with other men because of deep-seated trust issues. Not that he didn’t have any, but meaningful ones were pretty absent. One only because of a very sad misunderstanding and lack of communication and explanation, but the others just tough.

But like also there’s like that SJ slept in the Warm Red Pavilion and he went there just for comfort rather than more lascivious reasons. Yeah, it’s true that he didn’t go there for those intentions, but like it’s still in the environment so it’s not like he’s unaware of what happens there. I mentioned it in the previous post about his search for means to grow his cultivation, but only to say he’s probably not that innocent and there may be some truth to him wanting to do something to Ning Yingying out of desperation to make up for his low cultivation foundation. Like he’s aware of those kinds of things and he probably came across something that said that was a way he could grow his cultivation. Desperation and this motivation I think is probably the only reason why he would be so tempted to cross that line with Yingying because he otherwise treats women rather well. She is his favorite too, so if a person who usually treats females well for some reason wants to do something that would be hurtful to their favorite person, there has to be a much deeper motivation behind that. The only thing that is a canonically greater obsession I think would have to be his cultivation level. He has a number of self-esteem issues and such a well, but his greatest pride and greatest concern is his cultivation. He is proud of his abilities, but also he laments and regrets the version of him he couldn’t become so much I can foresee that if there was a suggestion that he could overcome his late start in some way by using someone female, I think he’d at least think about it and also consider who he knows could be a viable candidate should he want to act on it and that is how that part of PIDW happened. Pain and desperation make people do things that are uncharacteristic, so it has to be something that really bothers him more than in a moment of weakness that idea is there.

Which is another point I have an issue with on the wiki because it says his low cultivation is “logically” because he started late and spent so much time with a fake master. It’s not logically. It’s factually. It’s mentioned several times especially in the extras chapters from Shen Jiu’s point of view where he talks about how he is specifically behind because of wasting time with Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi and also that he was the last to form a golden core. If it was coming out of SY or someone else’s mouth as an explanation, maybe you can say “logically”, but if it’s coming from SJ’s point of view chapter it sure as hell is not. That *IS* his motivation. He states it himself.

Also, I think some people don’t understand what it means to have a low cultivation foundation. Cultivation from what I gather according to the rules of this world is like a lot of talents we have in our world where you need to start young to be good at it. There’s a few skills that you can learn that if you don’t start at a specific time you lose the optimal window to develop your talent for it because of the way the brain functions and basically purges off skillsets you’re not using in your environment. 

Learning a language is one such skill. When a baby is born, it has the capability to learn how to speak every language in the world, but as it gets older its brain purges out the sounds that it doesn’t hear from its environment and this keeps going into older childhood as well. The taxi driver I talked to the other day about this said you have to start before you’re 10, which sounds about right. The phoneme purging in your brain starts quite early though so that’s why my company has classes for Moms and their 1 or 2 year old so that they can speak to them in English to try to keep English sounds in their environment so that they can have perfect pronunciation when they grow up. If you try to learn a new language when you’re older that’s how you have accents. You don’t have the phonemes to speak the language perfectly so your brain is imitating the sounds with the ones you do have. Plus it’s a constant use skill. I used to be able to speak Cantonese with no accent up until my teens, but I haven’t spoken it in so long that slowly I started to have an accent and now I can’t say the words properly anymore. I don’t know that much Cantonese to begin with that aren’t baby words, but I used to be able to say them properly.

Music is another one and that one has an even more narrow window. Kids with parents hoping that they will be music prodigies usually start them on music VERY young like 3 or 4. It’s not that it’s impossible for someone to pick up an instrument later in life, but there’s a type of sense to music and hearing the scale and developing that skill that if you don’t start kids on it at that time, their musical ear will not be as good.

And it’s that “not as good” thing that Qingqiu is chasing. He is exceptionally powerful and talented which is why despite starting late he became favored. He is very capable and good at what he does, but he is not as good as what he could have been. Even though he is so good, he is only haunted by how much better he would have been if he had started on time and had proper instruction. A musician who maybe wants to be a concert violinist but took up the instrument late may struggle to get a good seat in an orchestra because despite any talent they have, their ear is not as developed as someone else. Such a musician would be vexed and lament that they hadn’t discovered their love for the instrument sooner just as Qingqiu is vexed and laments that he didn’t start proper cultivation development earlier.

And I’m griping about SVSSS more because I read that book so I have more points of reference to go on. But like the wikis for MDZS and TGCF aren’t much better. MDZS is maybe a little more coherent and easier to follow, but TGCF confused the hell out of me and it took me awhile to understand what was going on. I really needed it though cuz I was watching the donghua and like I think the way they present some of the scenes is like slightly out of order for like foreshadowing and other like film reasons, so I checked the wiki while watching to try to get more context cuz I don’t have much time right now to pick up another book at the moment. I was so confused though cuz like...it seems like the logic in the entries is so circular and I’m trying to keep track of all the characters and what’s happening. I hope it’s better now but at the time I was watching it I was so confused and struggling to make sense of what’s happening.

And like maybe you’re wondering why if I read the book, would I bother checking a wiki. Mostly out of laziness because I’m thinking of something and I don’t want to go find the exact chapter to help me flesh out my thought and reference point. I end up getting more frustrated sometimes depending on what I’m looking up because of the above things.

Plus again I’m like a bit mystified as to why Qingqiu’s look seems to appeal to me. It’s not just him though and like other characters with a similar style in some of the games I play. I think there’s some imprint from some very old childhood memory that I only vaguely remember. Like it’s a look that seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on where it’s from and I can’t figure it out, so I keep just going to check images to see if it will make me remember. I think it’s a movie I saw with my Dad as a young child, but I can’t remember it at all. I remember there was one Jet Li movie I watched with my Dad once and I ended up watching all the time cuz I thought Jet Li was really cute in that movie (I was also 3 so I don’t know why I’m thinking that way, but whatever), but like Jet Li was bald in that movie because it was about a Shaolin Temple. I think at the time my Dad showed me that movie I already showed an interest in movies from my own heritage, so that’s why he showed me that. But like I can’t remember anything else. I suppose it could have been something my grandpa watched because sometimes he’d watch a Chinese movie when I was playing in the living room and I’d stop to watch too and then he’d fast-forward through the intimacy scenes, but because I’d just look over at something he was already watching I have no idea what any of those were.

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

100 words (or people aren’t letting Jamie sleep but she doesn’t mind because she loves them)

The part Jamie is super mad about, is that if Peter Fucking Quint hadn’t existed, she would never have realized she was in love with Dani.

It is an irrational sort of exasperation, she knows, one that doesn’t even come halfway up the massive totem pole of problems that the man caused and in theory there are a lot more things she should have been mad at him about, she knows, but this, this tiny fact irks her most. She knows she should be madder about the fact that he was stalking them all at Bly Manor, that in his misguided belief that they, rather than he himself, had caused Rebecca to kill herself, he had attacked Hannah, and Dani and nearly kidnapped Flora but. Well.  

(Guess it is easier to be furious about irrelevant things. Jamie supposes if she gives an of the above things more than five minutes of thought, she really will start boiling over with uncontrollable rage like some sort of demented teakettle.)

It is certainly easier to loathe the fact that Peter Fucking Quint will now forever be a part of their love story, one that she might quite possibly be telling her children at some point.

(A long, long time into the future, she will be telling this to Dani as they sit in their apartment, eating pancakes together.

“Children?” Dani will ask her, one eyebrow raised, lips pressed together to keep from laughing. “I don’t remember agreeing to having children with you.”

“Who else are you gonna have them with? Edna from next door?”

“Edna’s already got a husband.”

“Oh, that’s what’s stopping you?”

Dani will roll her eyes, hard and Jamie will note that it is not exactly a denial)

*****

Things have barely settled down at Bly Manor after what they’ve collectively dubbed as “The Peter Incident”, when Owen proposes a sleepover.

Everyone knows why that is. He hasn’t been able to let Hannah out of his sight for more than a couple of hours ever since she was attacked by that rat bastard. Neither has Miles. The poor kid is so wrapped up in all sorts of guilt and anger (the latter directed at Peter) that he’s been trying to make up for it by helping Hannah when she’s cleaning. They’ve tried to talk to him, but in his very young head, once he gets an idea, it’s almost impossible to talk him out of it.

And so Jamie finds herself lounging on the couch, playing cards with him, Owen and Hannah while Dani’s gone to the kitchen to get them another helping of the giant chocolate cake that Owen had baked earlier in the afternoon. Flora’s already asleep on the giant rug in front of the fire, having tuckered herself out by making them all chase her around the hall.

“You’re cheating,” Miles says, eyes narrowed.

“I most certainly am not!” Owen replies, indignantly. “I’m Owen.”

Jamie groans, and immediately gets shushed by Hannah.

“Control this man, please,” Jamie begs. At this rate she’s going to end up forfeiting by chucking all her cards at him and that would not be optimal to her ‘Impress Dani by being really cool at cards’ strategy.

Hannah just smiles fondly at him.

“You two are the worst,” Jamie grumbles. “Completely absorbed in each other.”

Of course, the statement is completely devoid of sting because that’s the moment Dani walks back in again, arms delicately handling four plates loaded with cake, and Jamie loses focus.

(Okay, so sue her for not caring about a stupid card game when her girlfriend was walking. Or breathing. Or simply existing. Everything Dani does is a glory to behold.)

She’s wearing Jamie’s bomber jacket, a jacket that is entirely too huge for her delicate frame. The sleeves have been bunched up close to her elbows, so they don’t cover her hands and the end of the jacket falls somewhere approximately mid-thigh, and Jamie is so floored by her that she forgets how to breath. The air freezes in her lungs, a product of the strange things her stomach seems to be doing inside; the blood rushing through her veins speeds up in response to the overtime beating of the very smitten organ inside her chest, and it would not be an overstatement to say that Jamie disintegrates into an enamored puddle in her seat.

“Gross,” Miles whispers, and the spell’s broken.

Owen and Hannah laugh quietly in the background, but Jamie can’t see past Dani, can’t hear anything besides the gentle ‘Hi baby’ that is whispered in her ear as the girl of her dreams settles in next to her.

The game continues.

“I don’t even know why we’re even playing,” Owen says, a few rounds later. “I mean, Jamie’s probably going to win anyways.”

“What? Why?”

“I mean, I’m sure you have a spade!”

There is a lot of staring.

“Because,” his shoulders are already shaking in laughter, “she’s a gardener!”

Hannah sighs.

“Get it?”

Dani’s the one who ends up grabbing all of Jamie’s card and throwing it at him in the end. The idiot is still laughing.

*****

Jamie watches Dani follow a trail of chaos all the way up to her room from Miles and Flora’s, picking up all sorts of things lying around. She sits, cross-legged on the bed, wrapped up in the blankets, and smiles brightly every time Dani looks up at her.

“You could help, you know?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just the gardener,” she replies, cheekily. “I’m just gonna sit here, all warm and bundled up and watch you do the child-rearing blah.”

Dani sticks her tongue out. “I’m all warm and bundled up too. And just because of that bit of cheekiness, your jacket is now mine. You’re not getting it back.”

I don’t want it back, she thinks, feeling very much like a crumpled-up piece of paper at the precious sight of her girlfriend in her clothes.

“Only if you pay me in kisses for it,” she tells Dani, solemnly.

Dani raises an eyebrow, advances, very, very slowly until she’s right up to the edge of the bed, pushes at her shoulders, until Jamie’s lying down. And then in a flash, she’s hovering over Jamie, so close that all she can see is the intense, bright blue of her eyes, all she can feel is the comforting weight of Dani on her, and the steady in and out of her breath hitting somewhere on her neck.

Jamie shivers. “Oh,” she says, because her mouth is apparently only capable of forming single syllables in the moment.

“Tell me, Jamie,” Dani asks, very quietly, the small puffs of her breathing making her feel very dismantled, “where, exactly, do you want me to kiss you?”

(If anyone asks, no, Jamie does not pass out for almost a minute. Nope. No sir. That is definitely not a thing that happens)

*****  

Jamie is dreaming of flying through the village with steel wings, so it’s a surprise when all the people start hurling stones at her.

It’s the uneven tap-tap of the pellets hitting her wings that wakes her up, and even in through the groggy haze of consciousness, she realizes the sound, hesitant as it is, is actually coming from the direction of the door.  

Disentangling from Dani is a task. An arduous one at that, mostly due to the fact that she’s so warm that Jamie kind of never wants to leave. Also because her girlfriend sleeps like a koala, completely wrapped around her. Her leg was resting on Jamie’s thighs, and she had an arm thrown over her stomach. When Jamie finally manages to get out from under her, she makes a noise in her sleep that has no business squeezing at Jamie’s heart the way that it does.

She tiptoes to the door, opens it very quietly, and then immediately drops onto her knees, looks at a very small-looking Flora.

“What,” she asks, frantically checking for she doesn’t know what. “What happened? Are you hurt? Is Miles okay?”

Flora blinks up at her. “I had a dream.”

Jamie’s hands still and come to rest on Flora’s shoulders. “Uh huh.”

“A scary dream,” Flora elaborates.

Oh thank God, she thinks, and on the heels of that, Fuck Peter Fucking Quint. She gently pulls the door close behind her and picks up Flora in one fluid motion, carrying her towards her room.

“What was the dream about?” she asks, once, she’s deposited Flora onto her bed, and complied with her request to let her hold one of the dolls.

“Peter,” Flora says, her eyes wide and serious.

(From the bottom of her heart, fuck Peter Fucking Quint)

“Peter isn’t here, though,” she says, getting up from the bed and making a huge show of bending down to check under the mattress. She walks over to the closet, and pulls it open with a flourish, turning her head in an exaggerated motion from side to side to scan it. “See? Nothing.”

“Behind the dollhouse,” Flora points.

“If he were behind the dollhouse, your dolls could easily beat him up,” Jamie tells her, and Flora giggles. She checks, anyways.

“Jamie, I’m awfully sorry I woke you up,” Flora says once she’s next to the bed again, and Jamie feels an invisible hand nudge something into place around her chest at the look on her face.

“Well, I’m not sorry you woke me up, so don’t worry about it, okay?”

Flora smiles.

*****

When she walks out of Flora’s room, she nearly get another heart attack at the sight of Dani standing, motionless, just behind the door.

“Jesus fucking—” she gasps, hand on her chest. “What is with the members of this place trying to scare the fuck out of me?”

“You’re a giant baby,” Dani says, already falling into step beside her, hand instinctually coming up to wrap around Jamie’s waist. “And I thought I was supposed to be the child-rearing expert, huh?”

This is Flora, she thinks. She’s grown up in front of me. I’ve watched them shoot up like my roses. I’ve loved those buggers a thousand times more than any flower I’ve ever raised.  

“You’re an eavesdropper,” Jamie retorts, instead.

“And you’re a leavesdropper,” Dani announces, and immediately starts giggling. “Because you trim the plants.”

Jamie sighs.

*****

They stand by the window in the middle of the night, looking out over Bly Manor grounds. Jamie has dragged the blanket out of the bed, and wrapped it around them, as she rests her chin on Dani’s shoulder from behind.

“Has Owen worked up the courage to kiss Hannah yet?” Dani asks, as they watch them crashed on top of each other next to the fire burning near the lake.

Jamie chuckles. “I don’t think so.”

“What a loser.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she deadpans, pressing a quick kiss to Dani’s red cheeks. “Some people like taking it slow. Unlike others who propose sleeping together on the first date.”

Dani tips her head back, looks at her, her eyes bright and full of laughter. “You didn’t sound like you minded very much. In fact, if I remember well, you sounded a lot like—”

Jamie holds her palm over Dani’s mouth. “Shut up,” she says, blushing.

Dani maneuvers until they’re facing each other, presses her forehead to Jamie’s. “No regrets?” she asks, and the question is casual, but her eyebrows are drawn together.

Jamie smoothens her brow. “None.”

Dani kisses her. “Same. Every shitty thing Peter did to us, I’m — I’m still okay with it in some weird way because it led me to you.”

The girl of her dreams stands in her arms in the middle of the night, sleepy and earnest, and Jamie feels her world tilting for a minute. It settles on a new axis; the air shifts to make space for all the extra tenderness she guesses is probably pouring out of her right now; and Jamie realizes her world will never be the same again.

(There’s something finally prettier than the moon in her universe)

She opens her mouth, almost says three words.

“What?” Dani asks.

Jamie shakes her head. Too soon.

“Let’s go to bed,” she says, instead, and things are as close to perfect as they could possibly be.

[kandyrezi]

anonymous asked: How would Reficul react to her darling becoming interested in Sin? Or the reverse, Sin becoming interested in her darling? A lovers squabble, the two of them sharing, or something else entirely?

– Yandere!Sin & Yandere!Reficul sharing a darling HCs;

(i deviated from your request a little bit uuu i hope it isn’t too troubling... ; n ; )

- : - : - : - : - : - : -

» Sin is likely the one who ends up finding you first, alone and lost someplace you weren’t meant to be, by which, you won’t have much of a choice when she claims you as her own. The garden of Eden is her domain and that’s where she holds you in her possession. The pentagram world is no place for a fragile human such as yourself and the garden is the most optimal place to keep you safely tucked away. Despite the dread of an unfamiliar, barren place void of life aside from non-sapient animals and plants, Sin isn’t cruel towards you – coming to visit often and talking to you in a soft tone of voice, cooing like a motherly pigeon would over its baby squab.

» Reficul and Sin keep no (crucial) secrets from eachother, so the former knows you exist. After a little while, she would become curious about what you look like, she offers to let her wife’s ‘human lover’ (or a mere pet was more likely) inside their mansion.

» Sin doesn’t want for her human to be frightened, but it might do them good to have some company, or at least tell them a little about herself, since they were so keen on wanting to know of the world she inhabits. You’ve been on good behavior as of lately, so she agrees to it.

» You were certainly an interesting little thing Sin had taken a liking towards; you were headstrong and didn’t quiver before Reficul. She hadn’t really come into contact with humans before. She knew they existed, but didn’t have much of an opinion nor interest in them (beyond the jokesters who attempt to summon her from time to time by drawing the symbol of  the pentagram on the ground in red paint and lighting candles around the circle. not that she’d ever bothered actually showing up, but she’s tempted to just to give them a bit of a fright).

» After spending several weeks inside the mansion with only one way to see how it looked like on the outside as tree branches hit against the window of your room due to never-ending atrocious wind and rain, the backyard was surrounded by tall metal gates. You were beginning to grow a little antsy; if you wanted to escape at all, you needed to know more about the world you were trapped in. 

» You put on your best performance and politely approach Reficul one day to inquire if you can accompany her on her stroll to examine if everything is in order – anything to get away from the ‘naga wife’s’ constant overbearing doting on you. Reficul thinks it over, then looks to Sin with a silent glance, as if to ask for permission, to which the serpent nods.

» “Of course, but keep them safe for me.” she tells Reficul, “I have a bit of business to attend to with an otherworldly visitor anyhow.”

“An otherworldly visitor? Something of importance?”

“You could say that. Just going to have a bit of chat with her from where we left off yesterday.”

» Sin bids both of her lovers goodbye as they leave the mansion. Before you can take in your surroundings more clearly, Reficul snaps a collar with a tag around your neck that reads, ‘if lost, return to Reficul’ attached to a leash.

» “Can’t have a helpless little thing such as yourself running into any possible dangers. Darling wife would most certainly be upset with me if I didn’t bring her pet back in one piece.” she tells you, yanking along the leash, silently urging you to get a move on, and you compliantly do so.

» It was still drizzling slightly even after it’d rained heavily nonstop, the demon queen brought an umbrella with her to hold it over her head with one of her shadow hands sprouting from her wings. You tried to huddle a little closer underneath to shield yourself from the rain as well, but her steely gaze on you once you accidentally bumped your shoulder against her arm made you halt and keep a respectful distance.

» As you pass by several buildings through the streets reminiscent of Romanesque architecture, you would use the opportunity to timidly ask questions about the world’s history, its inhabitants, precise location, so on and so forth. Some to which Reficul graciously gives answers to at first, though she quickly becomes bored and opts to ignore you instead.

» You were certainly given a few funny and some… rather ravenous looks from some of the demons (the pink-haired girl with spider legs eyeing you making a shiver run down your spine), but you didn’t feel afraid when the devil herself - ironically enough - was at your side.

» “I would certainly pity a creature like you should you somehow have accidentally stumbled in here all on your own. The lot here can be quite a vicious, mean bunch to anyone they deem easy targets; you might as well have a dartboard glued to your forehead.” she tells you, and you can tell she isn’t the type to sugarcoat her words.

» You stand by Reficul’s side as she converses with some of the residents about potential interlopers and how they had already caught two of them. You didn’t pay much attention as you tried to look through the stained glass window of a town hall.

» It goes on a little longer than expected, but eventually Reficul’s dragging you to where you were staying before. Sin hasn’t yet returned once you’re back at the castle and the devil orders you to sit on the sofa and not move an inch until then.

» Hours must have passed by then, you feel yourself beginning to nod off, until you feel fingers gently combing through your hair. Startled, you look behind you to see the serpent had slithered her way over to you without a sound. Her hands are covered in something red, with a few spots at the base of her lower serpent half and there are white feathers stuck at the tips of her hair. Her sclera is fully crimson-colored alongside her irises, yet she’s smiling sweetly as ever, unbothered by the mess covering her, opting to instead ask how you’re liking it here so far.

» It would definitely take longer for Reficul to take interest in someone, years even. You would need characteristics or skills that would impress her in some way – your strong will and perceptiveness to the devil’s own character without coming off as nosy or intrusive might be a good starting point. She thinks you would look cute sitting on her lap as decorative pet while she herself sits on the throne, redirecting all denizens coming to her with a problem over to Lzet. Sin might’ve been correct in her assumption of you being unfit for this world, but the serpent was insistent on not allowing you back to your original world either, almost to a possessive extend. She would end up telling Sin how much you interest her and wouldn’t mind getting to know something – someone rather unconventional.

» Sin would never otherwise share her precious human lover with anyone, but she knows her wife would take good care of her human. Although not the kind of care Sin enlisted. Reficul’s means of showing care were more along the lines of ‘tough love’ kind of concern, where she controls your every movement.

» It’s unlikely the two of them would squabble over sharing a lover, when a solution can easily be reached through compromise. They have always worked as a team and supported eachother through thick and thin. Even if you favor spending time with one of them over the other, the ‘left out’ party still treats you with gentility in hopes you’ll have an equal amount of love to share in the future. How can you not, when the two most powerful creatures in the pentagram world worship you like you’re one of them? 

» If you are on good behavior, then Reficul is always content spending time with her lovers and strolling the various worlds. You’ll still have to wear the collar, but she’ll rid of the leash if you promise not to wander off too far out of her or Sin’s line of sight.

» The demon world is so different from the human one and as much as you despise being trapped here, you relish when they bring you along for sightseeing. Your favorite ones so far have been the Star Isle and the Rainbow Isle in the great sea world.

» Mors doesn’t think much of you – so you don’t have to worry too much about him bullying you as he only sees you as the family pet. Though you should probably avoid being too affectionate with either of his parents when he’s nearby. He already has his hands full with one other certain buzzing homewrecker.

» Reficul will teach you basic skills in self-defense and grants you a weapon you can handle, so she won’t need to hover over you all the time, although she’s already made it abundantly clear by marking you so everyone will know the devil’s wrath will befall on them should they harm you in any way.

» If the constant reminder keeps dawning on you and weighing you down about basically being kidnapped and held in confinement far away from your homeland keeps nagging you at the back of your head – it’s nothing Sin can’t fix. Maybe make you ‘hallucinate’ that you no longer have a place to even call home other than with her and Reficul in the castle, manipulate your mind in such a way you’ll be convinced there is no one waiting for you out there.

» Should you misbehave or act out, Sin uses it as an excuse to to dish out the appropriate punishment. Maybe a little similar to Reficul in terms of isolation. The serpent will tie you down with vines in the garden in a little time out, where she leaves you with plenty of fruits to eat when she’s gone. Fruits containing hallucinogenics unbeknownst to you – faces of your relatives and friends back home telling you how glad they are you’re finally gone, insulting you and calling you all sorts of derogatory names.

» Once you’re forgiven of your mishaps, Sin takes you back to the castle. Reficul is the one who notices your reddened eyes and blotchy cheeks and asks, “Have you been crying, little one?” a small nod from you, then “Oh, and why is that?” You don’t notice from the corner of your eye how Sin has been smiling the entire time through your explanation, but Reficul certainly has, but whether or not she knows anything, chooses not to comment on it for the time being.

» Sin tells her wife you already unknowingly accepted the apple from her from the very beginning the first night you found yourself in her garden, the forbidden fruit which will grant you immortality, neither of them will no longer have to fear you withering away from old age.

» Time will tell if you’ll end up being grateful for this blessing (or curse) you’ve been granted.

» Now you were even more trapped than ever before. When one of them would be too busy to keep an eye on you, then the other would take over.

- : - : - : - : - : - : -

(if you want me to make another version of this with darling being reficul’s s/o first with sin becoming apart of the relationship, feel free to shoot me another request.)

[honestgrins]

Tagalong || Klaroline

Enzo didn’t quite know what to do with Caroline Forbes, but he liked her. He even liked her sans humanity, though, probably not as much as a certain hybrid.

.

"We've got a problem."

Enzo rolled his eyes, not that Damon could see his derision over the phone. "Just one?" And here he'd been hoping for a relaxing night without any Salvatores, maddening bunch they were.

With a sigh of exhaustion, however, Damon didn't seem to be offering pleasant news. "Blondie's going off the rails, and Stefan's hellbent on fixing that. We all know how that goes. I've got backup coming, but it'll take too long and I can't get there in the meantime. Are you near Whitmore, by chance?"

Had it been anyone else, he would have hung up. Honestly, he probably should have. But he didn't. "Where is she?"

.

He was glad he didn't hang up. It was plenty entertaining to watch Caroline toy with Stefan and all his heroic instincts gone terribly wrong. Maybe it wasn't what Damon had in mind when he called for a babysitter, but they were having a good time. No harm in that. And she was staying put, so he was doing his job perfectly well.

At the bar, Enzo was mixing drinks. "Onions or olives, gorgeous?"

"Ew," she grimaced, never mind the fact that she was kneeling in a pool of blood as she picked through Stefan's pockets. "I know you've been in a dungeon for, like, a hundred years, but please. If you can figure out phones, you can figure out how to make a margarita. With limes."

"Fair enough. Finding anything good?"

Sighing, she sat back on her heels. "Just his credit cards, which he'll have frozen as soon as he realizes his wallet is gone. Oh!" She grabbed at a limp hand, twisting. "You don't have a daylight ring, do you?"

Even Enzo balked at that, which proved just how far gone she was from the perky do-gooder vampire he first met - not that he didn't approve of her more ruthless side. "I do not. So kind of you to think of me."

"He's going to hate that you have it," she sang to herself. "Here, catch!" She tossed the ring toward him, but it never reached him.

Suddenly, a new person was standing between them and facing her, his fist raised with the ring inside. The speedy entrance alone meant vampire, and an old one for neither of them to see him coming. 

Enzo sprinted toward Caroline, intent on keeping her behind him, only for her to smirk when the stranger grabbed him by the throat. From his unfortunate vantage point at arm's reach, he recognized the dangerous glint in his eyes as one wholly absorbed by the woman watching them. "Now, sweetheart, you don't really want me to kill your friend here, do you?"

"I don't really care," she answered in that new, deadpan voice of hers. How odd for it to sound cheerful anyway; that was just Caroline, he guessed. He didn't take her indifference personally, not when he was able to watch her skip past the line of human and vampire she had once seemed so determined to straddle with ease. The threat of death should have put him off, but what was a quick death after a century of torture? He did get a good look at the new vampire, who didn't bother to look at him at all despite literally holding his life in his hand. "But if you think he's my friend, I know you won't kill him. You're clearly here to save me, or whatever Stefan has convinced you to do in the name of protecting me from my own decisions, which means you think it'll work. And you don't want to have killed my friend when I flip the switch back."

The grip around his throat loosened immediately, and Enzo dropped back to the floor with only a slight stumble. "Thanks, mate," he choked out. "I assume you're the big, bad wolf that's sweet on our girl here."

Caroline rolled her eyes, and the guy grinned, showing off dimples that just weren't fair, in his opinion. "Klaus," he confirmed, then his eyes narrowed. "I know nothing of you, though."

"Klaus, Enzo. Enzo, Klaus. You're both obsessed with the old me, and now you're just boring me," she said plainly. "So, I'm going to go find some fun. You're welcome to join if you can agree to my terms. Otherwise, I'll give you the same message I hope Stefan here finally gets - leave me be, and I'll see you next year." A frown pulled at her mouth, though, as she looked at Klaus. "But you're not good at keeping promises, apparently. What happened to leaving Mystic Falls?"

"Damon sounded a bit desperate to remove you as a threat," he replied evenly despite the rage Enzo heard in his voice. "I preferred bending the rules of our arrangement to whatever solution he decided to execute in my absence. I'll make it up to you, love."

Her chest puffed out as she batted her lashes at him. "Now, that sounds like a promise worth holding onto." Her tone was flirtatious, her gaze calculating. "What's your grand plan, then?"

Enzo felt like a voyeur as Klaus stepped over Stefan's body and into her space. "Your terms, first. I want to know what you're offering and why the Salvatores find it so necessary to stop you."

"They don't," Caroline answered. "Stefan does. I told them to give me a year, no murder, no risky behavior that could draw attention. He didn't like that, not with that guilty conscience of his weighing him down. Damon's only worried I'll get his brother killed now that all bets are off."

"Not with-" Klaus broke off, comprehension dawning. His face twisted into a sour expression. "It seems Damon left out some crucial details. Shall we get a drink, talk things out?"

She seemed to think it over, her eyes never leaving him. For all he'd teased her about it, Enzo was finally beginning to understand why she was so hung up on the dangerous hybrid she'd banned from her life. The tension between them was palpable, full of possibilities that left him a bit winded. For a second, he thought he was looking at a future Caroline could very well have one day. So, what the hell was he doing there?

Ready to turn and leave them to it, he stopped when her gaze landed on him. Something like joy hovered on the edges, the barest hint of intrigue that fascinated him. That was it - she fascinated him, and he'd been so listless in his freedom. She was the closest thing he had to a friend, even without the upbeat optimism out to find the bright side of an eternal life. If anything, she seemed just as perky as ever, humanity or no.

"Can Enzo come with us?"

He let out a chuckle at the return of her flirty tone, happy to find that Klaus appeared equally relieved at her acceptance. "Of course, sweetheart. The more, the merrier." But he tossed the ring he still held at Stefan's prone body, where it bounced off him to clatter on the floor. "We can find your friend something a bit less gaudy to wear," he promised, "provided we come to an agreement for how this year of yours is to go."

Clapping her hands with what almost looked like delight, Caroline thread an arm through one each of theirs. "I want margaritas," she decided, tugging them along with her. "Just know," she warned, her voice gone flat again. "If this is some plan you have to speed up mine, I will make you regret it."

With how bloody she left Stefan, Enzo didn't doubt it. Klaus, however, lifted her hand up to his lips before placing it back in the crook of his elbow. "I'd expect nothing less."

[boxoftheskyking]

I should name this Untamed fic Part 2

Here is Part 1

I’m not editing anything and I’m posting as I go so the structure will probably get fucked up 

Part 2: In Which Wei Wuxian Gets a New Assignment

---

The way that Wei Wuxian looks at it, he’s lived ten lives. A few years that he likes to imagine were happy while his parents were alive. A few months as a beggar. Ten years as an adopted son. Three months as a student in Cloud Recesses. Fifteen glorious minutes as the focus of Lan Wangji’s irritated attention. A month that felt like a year as an orphan, again, hauling a comatose Jiang Cheng from one hideout to another. Two months recovering from a surgery no one can ever know about. A year and a half of wandering, too scared to face Jiang Cheng and the rest of the world, losing himself in the hills above Yiling, something in the mountain pulling him higher, deeper, calling to the void inside him and then spitting him back out. Two months in the prison at Qishan and then on trial for a couple things he did and a dozen things that had nothing to do with him—the ambush on the Lan hunting party chief among them. And now as a servant, mediocre and common and doing penance to a sect he’s never actually wronged. Unless you count breaking two hundred and seven of their rules in three months as a teenager. In his defense, three months is a long time, and Emperor’s Smile is really very good.

He’s early, which is truly unusual for him, but he’d been too nervous to sleep. He’s just approached the instruction pavilion when he hears raised voices from inside. Well, raised as much as they ever are in Cloud Recesses. 

“—I the Sect Leader, or am I not?” That sounds like Lan Xichen, though Wei Wuxian has never heard his voice be anything other than cool and placid as a mountain lake.

There is a long pause, or at least a moment where Wei Wuxian can’t hear what’s happening.

“—boy is a problem, Xichen, and I caution you against your own optimism—” Lan Qiren’s voice fades out into an irritated mumble.

“—less there is proof, and if you recall, Wen Ruohan produced no—”

They must be approaching the door, as Wei Wuxian can hear much more clearly now. Eavesdropping is forbidden in Cloud Recesses, but hey, they’re the ones that ordered him here at the ass crack of dawn.

No proof, he says there was no proof, he lets himself think for just a moment before shoving the hope back down. Doesn’t matter.

“With or without proof, it’s not a risk that should be taken. Certainly not with the children. Even if your faith is not misplaced, in the best case scenario, the boy is loud, he is flighty, he is unsuitable, and he is a problem.”

“Uncle,” Lan Xichen sounds calm as ever, but there is a surprising amount of steel in his tone. “I am the leader of this sect. I will always value your input and I am grateful for all of the education I’ve received at your hands, but you have to let me lead. And you have to let me disagree with you on some things. You turned down the role of sect leader for a reason, didn’t you?”

Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows shoot up. After the former sect leader and numerous high ranking members were killed in the ambush, it seemed only natural that the title should pass to his oldest son, the great Zewu-jun, despite his relatively young age. To hear that the first choice had been the Grand Master is certainly a surprise. 

There is a very long pause, and the door opens just a crack. Wei Wuxian tucks himself away around the corner of the building.

“Very well,” Lan Qiren says. “Just make sure he is supervised.”

“I trust Wangji,” the Sect Leader says, and his voice sounds like a book being closed, tied, and slotted back onto the shelf. Final.

It’s a lucky thing that the Grand Master isn’t coming back his way, or Wei Wuxian isn’t sure how he’d stay unnoticed. He waits a moment before yawning loudly and stamping his feet a few times, then coming around the corner hopefully looking like someone who just rolled out of bed five minutes ago.

“Zewu-jun,” he says respectfully, executing a neat bow. He’s always liked the Sect Leader, and the little ember of hope tries valiantly to rekindle itself at the kindness in his expression. How long has it been since someone looked at him with actual kindness?

“Young Master Wei.”

No one calls him that anymore, either.

“Please come inside.”

The room seems smaller than he remembers even without the crowd of white-clad students. Lan Xichen does not sit, so Wei Wuxian keeps a respectful distance and waits. 

“How are your quarters?”

Wei Wuxian can’t keep the surprise off his face at the question. “Um. Fine? Yes, they’re fine, thank you for inquiring.”

Lan Xichen nods thoughtfully. “Lin Biming has informed you that you are to be reassigned?”

“Yes, Zewu-jun.”

There’s an awkward pause. Am I supposed to ask? Wei Wuxian wonders.

“How much do you know about the ambush that claimed the life of the former Sect Leader?”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth goes completely dry. “It— I mean, I, uh—”

“I’m quite certain you were not involved.”

He feels himself list to the side, almost stumbling in shock. No sect leader, no one had ever said they believed him. Not even Jiang Cheng.

“Forgive me, I am not asking for information that you do not have. I am merely attempting to provide context for your new position. As you know, the former Sect Leader was killed in the ambush, but so were a good number of our senior disciples and experienced instructors. My brother, Lan Wangji, was meant to be on the night hunt as well, but as luck would have it he had stayed in Cloud Recesses to help tend to one of the children who had fallen ill.”

“I know who your brother is.” For some reason that’s the only thing that comes out of his mouth. 

Lan Xichen smiles just slightly. “Of course. In the aftermath of the attack, as you know, I assumed the role of Sect Leader. My brother has taken over the training of our younger disciples. Other instructors and caregivers have come to Gusu assist over the past few months, but none have stayed for very long.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like he can ask Why not, but he really, really wants to.

“I am assigning you to care for the young disciples. Lan Wangji will be in charge of their training and education, but other duties will fall to you. Making sure they are fed, clean, sleeping and waking at the appropriate time. Approved recreation activities, memorization of the rules. My brother is a very capable teacher,” a warmer smile flickers across Lan Xichen’s face, “but they are children. That is what we need help with. Not someone to train a generation of cultivators; someone to raise children.”

“But I—” Wei Wuxian can’t help himself. “I’ve never raised children. I mean I have no— I’m not a—”

“And you were never taught demonic cultivation techniques. But in less than a year you could raise and control an army of thirty-plus puppets, repress a soul-eater with a single talisman when it usually takes at least three, and transfer a curse from one victim to another without physical touch or spiritual power.”

“I—” He’s not sure if this list is meant to inspire confidence or to remind him why he’s earned this punishment. “It’s really not that hard if you think about the curse as its own entity. I mean, instead of a thing that takes energy to target and release, you see it as, I don’t know, not a being, but something with a want or a desire. And then it’s just making your intended target into something more attractive to the curse than whoever’s got it in the first place. It’s not, like, a genius thing.”

Lan Xichen blinks at him, and Wei Wuxian can’t quite read his expression. “You are not to teach that to the children.”

Wei Wuxian laughs. “I may be a fool and a demon, but I’m not interested in trying to control a bunch of twelve-year-olds with the ability to curse each other.” 

He waits, but Lan Xichen says nothing further.

“So I’m a quick study,” Wei Wuxian says carefully. “That doesn’t make me— That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I remember you,” the Sect Leader says simply. “From before.”

“I was a terror.”

Lan Xichen inclines his head just slightly. “So you’ll understand them, particularly the difficult ones.”

He can’t help a snort of laughter at that. He supposes it’s true. He remembers being a kid. He still feels like a kid, though he’s nineteen now. Sometimes he thinks he’s just been switching from one type of kid to another. So many lives, never a chance to grow up.

“Do you agree to the position?” Lan Xichen asks.

“Do I have a choice?”

“No, not really.”

Wei Wuxian gives him his most winning smile. “Great. When do I start?”

Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[a-coda]

Advent of Code

As a child, advent calendars always added to the sense of anticipation in the lead up to Christmas. In my day you would be lucky to get a small picture behind each of the doors. These days, children expect chocolates or sweets. My wife has once even had a "Ginvent Calendar", with gin behind each door.

This year I marked Advent by having a go at the "Advent of Code" which has Christmas-themed programming puzzles posted each day. Most days are in two parts, with an easier puzzle followed by a harder one. Traditionally, I've posted a (mostly ignored) programming puzzle to our development team each Christmas. Last year I just recycled one of the Advent of Code puzzles, but this year I suggested we attempt the whole thing. The puzzles are so well thought out, in comparison to my efforts, that it seemed pointless to compete.

In the end, several of the team had a go. Some of the puzzles were harder than others, but I managed to solve them all by Boxing Day. What follows are some personal anecdotes from the various days with some general thoughts at the end. Note that there are some spoilers and the notes won't mean much if you've not done the puzzles. So in this case just skip to the end.

a sum-finder. I implemented the search tree via recursive calls. I drifted into using Python right from the start. It just felt like the easiest way to hack the puzzles quickly. In the past I had thought about using the puzzles to learn a new language. A colleague had done that with Rust in a previous year. Despite these good intentions, expediency took a firm hold. That said, in several puzzles I would have liked immutable collections or at least Lisp-style lists.

a pattern counter. Not that interesting except patterns were emerging in the programs themselves. Regular expressions got used a lot to read in the puzzle data. I learnt about things like match.group(1,2,3) which returns a tuple of the first three match groups, so you don't have to write (m.group(1), m.group(2), m.group(3)).

a grid tracer. The first interesting one because it was unfamiliar. Some other patterns started emerging: problem parameters got promoted to command line arguments, and data structure printers got hacked to help debugging. These two were often added between part 1 and part 2 of each problem.

a data validator. This felt like a bit of a slog. It was mostly about capturing the validation rules as code. Even though I made a point of reminding myself at the start that re.search doesn't match the whole string I still forgot it later. Duh.

an indexing problem. I patted myself on the back for realizing that the index was a binary number (or pair of binary numbers as I did it). At this point the solutions were still neat and I would do a little code golfing after the solution to tidy them up a bit and make them more concise.

another pattern counter. Pre-calculating some things during data reading kept the later code simple.

a recursive calculator. This was one of those puzzles where I had to reread the description several times to try and understand what it was asking for. It entailed a slightly tricky recursive sum and product, which was again made easier by creating more supporting data structures while reading the input data.

an interpreter. Probably my favourite individual puzzle because it was so sweet, especially after a bit of refactoring to make the language more data-driven.

another sum-finder. I found I didn't particularly like these.

an order-finder. This was the first one that made me pause for thought. An overly naive search algorithm from part 1 hit a computational complexity wall in part 2. I beat the problem by realizing that the search only had to be done on small islands of the data, but a colleague pointed out there was a better linear solution. The code was starting to get a bit ragged, with commented out debugging statements.

the game of life. The classic simulation but with some out-of-bounds spaces and some line-of-sight rules. It helped to print the board.

a map navigator. I liked this one even though I forgot to convert degrees to radians and that rotation matrices go anti-clockwise. I even introduced an abstract data type (ADT) to see if it would simplify the code (I'm not sure it ever did - I mostly used lists, tuples, strings, and numbers). The second parts of the puzzles were starting to get their own files now (usually bootstrapped by copying and pasting the first part's file).

a prime number theorem. I actually got stalled on this one for a bit. It eventually turned out I had a bug in the code and was missing a modulus. In effect I wasn't accounting for small primes far to the right. I left the puzzle and went on to complete a couple of others before coming back to this one. I checked what I was doing by Googling for hints, but in the end I had to take a long hard look at the data and find my own bug.

some bit twiddling. Part 1 felt like I found the expected bitwise operations, but part 2 felt like I was bashing square pegs into round holes.

a number sequence problem. Another pat on the back, this time for keeping a dictionary of recent occurrences and not searching back down the list of numbers each time. Another recurring pattern is evident: running a sequence of steps over the data. I liked to code the step as its own function.

a constraint solver. A nice one about labelling fields that satisfy the known constraints. Half the code was parsing the textual rules into data.

another game of life simulation. This time it was in more dimensions. I generalized from 3 dimensions to N instead of just doing 4. This made it more of a drag. I started naming auxiliary functions with placeholder names (social services should have been called). Also, I tacked on extra space along each dimension to make room at each step. This felt very ugly. I should have used a sparser representation like I did for day 24.

an expression evaluator. I used another actual ADT and wrote a simple but horrible tokenizer. The evaluator was okay but I hacked the precedence by inserting parentheses into the token stream. Don't try this at home kids.

another pattern matcher. Probably my biggest hack. My code compiled the pattern rules into a single regular expression. This was cute but meant the recursive rules in part 2 needed special treatment. One rule just compiled into a repeated pattern with +. Unfortunately, the other rule entailed matching balanced sub-patterns, which every schoolchild knows regular languages can't do. Perhaps some recursive pattern extensions might have worked, but I assumed there would be no more than 10 elements of the sub-patterns and compiled the rule into a large alternative of the possible symmetrical matchers. Yuck.

a map assembler. I did this one the most methodically. It had proper comments and unit tests. Overall it took the most code but perhaps it was just dealing with all the edge cases (ba dum tss). But seriously, it seemed to take a lot of code for rotating and flipping the tiles even after knowing how they must be connected. So probably there was a better approach. It was still satisfying the see the answer come out after all that work. Curiously, this one involved little debugging. I wonder if perhaps there is some connection between preparation and outcome?

a constraint solver. I tried a dumb approach first based on searching all the possible bindings. That didn't look like it was terminating any time soon. So I reverted to a previously successful technique of intersecting the associations and then then refining them based on the already unique ones.

a recursive card game. This card game playing puzzle seemed to be going okay, but the real data didn't converge for part 2. Had a quick Google for a hint after battling with it for a while, and the first hit was from someone who said they'd misread the question. Sure enough I had too. My recursive games were on the whole deck instead of the part dictated by the cards played. Duh. The description was clear enough and included a whole worked game. I just hadn't read it properly. It still seemed to need some game state memoization to run tolerably fast.

a circular sequence. Took three attempts. A brute force approach using an array was good enough for part 1, but no way was it going to work on part 2. Even optimizing it to use ranges was still 'non-terminating' for the array-based solution. So I Googled for a little inspiration and found the phrase "linked lists" and slapped my forehead hard. I switched to a dictionary of labels to labels and the solution popped out very easily, without any further optimization. Embarrassing. Was it time to ceremonially hand in my Lisp symbol and fall on a sharpened parenthesis?

another game of life. This one sounded neat because it was about a hex grid, but I didn't know how hex grids are usually indexed. So for the first time I did a little bit of general research at the start. Turns out there are a bunch of ways to index a hex grid. I opted for using 3-axes as that seemed natural despite the redundancy. The map itself was just a dictionary of locations. I should have looked up how to have structured dictionary keys in Python (implement __hash__) but I couldn't be bothered so I (look away now) serialized and deserialized the locations to and from strings. I still had a bug which I couldn't find until I hacked a crude hex board printer and realized I wasn't carrying the unchanged cells over from one iteration to the next.

a cryptographic puzzle. Came out quite short but only after some faffing around. Main trick seemed to be to keep the transformation ticking along instead of recalculating it from scratch each time. There was slight disappointment (tinged with relief) that there was no part 2.

Some general lessons I felt I (re)learned:

Read the questions very carefully, then reread them.

Try and use terms from the questions. Don't invent your own terminology and then have to map back and forth.

Make the trace output exactly like the examples to help comparison.

Next time I'd consider using BDD to turn their examples directly into tests. Next time.

Try the problem for a while by yourself, then think about it offline, and only then Google for hints.

Next time I'd consider using some form of source control from the start, or just a better set of file naming conventions.

Regular expressions go a long way, but can then they can get in the way.

Next time I'll consider doing it using a language I'm learning.

Sometimes when you get stuck you have to start again.

During some low moments it all felt like make-work that I'd inflicted on myself, but in the end it was a nice set of training exercises. I'd encourage others to have a go at their leisure.

"Practice is the best of all instructors." -- Publilius Syrus

[inkribbon796]

Little Wonders Ch. 1

Chapter 1: Let Your Clarity Define You in the End

Summary: Dark goes house cleaning to flush out a dangerous mole in his network.

Chapters: 1, 2

Dark was outside his office, talking with Google when Logan walked out of his office. There were a couple papers in his hands that the Entity was reading through.

“Is this everything?” Dark asked Google as Logan came to stop a non-confrontational distance away. Logan had only been working for Dark for a little over eight months now, but he’d learned enough about him to tell Dark was already in a bad mood. All Logan could do was stand and wait to either be abruptly dismissed from the meeting he was supposed to go to, or for Dark to usher him inside.

“Yes, he wasn’t doing too much before he disappears from Florida state records,” Google answered calmly, his eyes tracking to Logan before smiling and looking back at Dark. “You’re certain I can’t take care of him myself?”

“Bim is in a hunting mood,” Dark refused. “If you’re lucky, you can keep the brain.”

“Unfortunate, but I’ll have to accept it,” Google allowed and then walked away.

“Ahh, Sanders,” Dark gave a small smile as his attention turned to Logan. “I was a bit worried that you had left early.”

“I leave on average at 2200 hours,” Logan commented walking into the office when Dark silently ushered him inside. He slowly closed the door behind him.

“Sit down, I won’t keep you long,” Dark promised, hands knit behind his back as he strode to sit behind his own desk. “I’ve been looking over your notes concerning my Lost One’s files. Some very useful ideas, wish I could still use them.”

“Did something happen?” Logan was braced for the bad news and an even later night.

“Yes, three of my Lost Ones were arrested, and Yancy is on parole,” Dark admitted calmly. “The whole mess was taken care of an hour ago.”

“I didn’t even know you had left,” Logan admitted. “I assume they are none the worse for wear.”

“Apart from Bim’s overdramatics, they’re all fine, the heroes were too busy thinking they were being coerced to start roughing them up,” Dark commented. “I honestly had nothing to worry about.”

“That’s good news,” Logan agreed.

“It is,” Dark replied in a thoughtful, rueful tone. “But the heroes know a bit too much about Yancy, which means we’ve got a bit of a fly on the wall in my network because they know things Yancy never told them.”

Before Logan could fully decide what to say or give options on how to help smooth over the problem, his chair was abruptly spun around which surprised Logan because he hadn’t heard anyone coming up behind him and hadn’t thought the chair was designed to spin.

Even through the distractions, Logan knew he was probably on a short list of suspicious individuals. The person he came face to face with was familiar but not in a way Logan could place.

“Hey Lo,” Orange smiled as he looked at Logan. “Having fun playing dress-up? That’s usually Princey’s thing.”

The Side frowned when he saw the guarded but uncertain look on Logan’s face. “Huh?”

Logan was braced for something, trying to remember where he’d seen this person before.

Dark came up behind them, “Something wrong?”

“He doesn’t remember me,” Orange answered, he took Logan by the lapels of his suit, which Logan immediately and indignantly tried to pull away from him. “Come on, Lo, you know me? Remember?”

“Oh,” Dark recognized, and put his aura on the top of Logan’s head, his aura lightly searching for something until he found it. The Entity pulled off another aura, almost like a mesh of spell work that kept Logan complacent and unaware of what he was doing, and Dark could practically feel the Host’s magic all over it.

As Dark’s aura subsumed the other aura Logan had a disoriented look to him before his laser focus landed on Orange and he startled in his grip. “Unhand me!”

“Nah, you’re already in deep shit, where would you swim to?” Orange grinned, Logan pressed back into the chair as Orange leaned over him, hands on the chair arms.

“Enough,” Dark cut in, using his aura to rotate back to look at Logan. “So, Mr. Sanders, is there any part of your resume that you weren’t lying on?”

“My distain for disorder and puns,” Logan answered.

Dark moved his hand and Logan felt something like a hand on the front of his throat, phantom claws on the soft flesh of his throat. “You of all people should know how I feel about moles, Thomas.”

“What?” Logan was barely able to still talk without claws sinking into his throat. “My name is Logan.”

The pressure in his throat abated for a brief second, but Logan wasn’t allowed to feel much of anything when Dark scored his aura claws down. Logan cried out, his cheek burning with sharp pain, and it felt wet. The Logical Side presumed it was with his own blood. The panicking part of his brain wanted to call out for Patton or Roman, he was acutely aware he wasn’t wearing his communicator.

“AAHHHHHH!” Logan screamed, and Dark physically grabbed Logan by the throat, pinning him to the chair, a bunch of papers in his hands.

“Thomas F. Sanders, date of birth: April 24, 1989. Gainesville, Florida.” Dark began casually reading off the paper and Logan tried to fight off the wave of palpable fear. Dark had gone looking for Logan and found Thomas instead.

Logan wasn’t sure what was worse. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to lie and make Dark believe he really was Thomas . . . and after this was all said and done, hope Dark would toss the papers away and not look deeper into them.

But Dark was always good at spotting lies.

“I am not Thomas,” Logan decided. “He doesn’t exist, Orange, you know my name is not Thomas, do not participate in this pointless charade.”

“Hmm,” Orange hummed, grabbing Logan by the hair and forcing him to look up, “nope, you’re Thomas alright, that dopey optimism, that personality that people can’t help but love!”

“Faksehood!” Logan shouted at Orange. “I am not Thomas.”

Orange slapped Logan on the cheek that was still bleeding. Dark was sitting behind his desk again, the quick change disorienting Logan a bit.

Dark was still looking at the papers, “You never told me you were an actor. A couple Community Playhouse credits in Gainesville, Hot Mikado, ooh, Singing in the Rain. I hate that one.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Orange paused in his sadism to question Dark, his face twisting up in the only Thomas-like display that Logan had ever seen from the other Side.

“I hate actors,” Dark scoffed, balling up an entire page and tossing it into the trash bin. “Wil adores the movie, but Singing is the Rain is about actors, which means I hate it all the more.”

“Harsh,” Orange scoffed. “Bad date?”

Dark glared at Orange, “I’m not going to humor that statement.”

“You know I am not Thomas,” Logan reminded Orange, his anger consuming his fear. “Why are you helping with what I assume will be my death. This will affect you as well.”

“Not as much as you think,” Orange smiled.

“Why are you insisting I’m Thomas?” Logan demanded. “Insisting such is offensive and incognizant.”

“Well unlike the others who want to fight over that name, Princey’s got all those social skills, and Pop’s is an emotional basket case. But you,” Orange tapped Logan on the nose, “have all those memories like going to school, Thomas’s folks, stuff like that. So if anything happens to those pesky little things, Thomas will die. Even if all the others fuse and try, they’ll never have those memories. Even if Princey rehearses until he believes his own performance they can’t bring them back. So if you die, it’s a win-win.”

Logan had been listening to Orange gloat and jeer and he hated that he had the gall to wear Thomas’s face while he said it. So he did something impulsive in his pain and anger, he spat in Orange’s face, moving to punch him but Orange was faster, slamming his fist into Logan’s face.

Over and over again.

The other Side was trying to get at the bloody scratches already present. In the scuffle Logan’s glasses were knocked free and Orange stomped on them, almost like a pained connection, Logan felt it when he heard the frame crack.

“You know, I’m sick and tired of Thomas this and Thomas that. News flash, Teach, he would have hated and been afraid of me. Why should I want to go back to that, to being so thoroughly buried I may as well have now existed to him? The best thing that ever happened to me was when he was broken apart and I was taken away from you.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Dark cut in, his aura wrapped around one of Orange’s arms. What Logan couldn’t see because of his destroyed glasses, was the knife he’d pulled. “I need him alive for a bit longer and you’ve said your peace.”

“I thought you were going to off him,” Orange scoffed.

“Not quite yet,” Dark flicked his wrists and a Void portal ripped open, forcing Orange from the room.

“So, Logan,” a dark shape moved in front of Logan’s vision again as Dark sat down in front of him. He heard a tearing of paper.

“Regardless of who you were,” Dark clipped what remained of Logan’s glasses to the front of his shirt. “It’s time for you to choose, Sanders. The heroes, or me.”

“I think my decision would have been obvious,” Logan told him. “You and your network are deplorable and I have greatly enjoyed my work in helping to dismantle it.”

Dark clicked his tongue, “Regrettable.”

Logan felt Dark aura tighten around him and the chair like a snake and Logan just braced to get his neck snapped. He hoped it would be quick and he wouldn’t feel it.

To Logan’s mounting tension he was pulled through a Void portal and Dark was bringing him down what seemed to be a dark corridor. Logan had the ability to gaze around and wished that he could see where he was. It looked interesting.

“Trying to figure out where you are,” Dark mused proudly.

“My habit is to obtain information on new places or experiences,” Logan explained.

“Well,” Dark sounded smug, “no need to bother with that tonight.”

At that moment Dark caught movement down one of the tunnels and he threw his aura to scare the creature or person off. Logan tensed when he felt Dark’s aura curl up around him before the Entity struck.

“I hate the rats around here, I swear the magic from that old hag makes them grow bigger by the day,” Dark scoffed in disgust.

“You are going to have me eaten?” Logan asked tensely, fear bubbling back up onto his mind.

“Not by the rats,” Dark corrected. Dark opened a steel door, his aura moving into the cracks to open it from the inside, the rusted gears grinding loudly.

“Finally!” Bim shouted when the door opened, he was polishing his already immaculate scalpels and knives. Dark noted the darker eyes, sharper teeth, and almost sunken eyes. “I’m starving here, Old Man.”

“Yes, I merely had to pick him up for you,” Dark set Logan’s chair down, his hands on his shoulders. “He meets your outrageous standards, I hope.”

Bim looked at Logan and smiled and ravenous excitement, “Oh, what did he do?”

“Does he work or should I slit his throat now and be done with it?” Dark demanded harshly, the door being locked and sealed behind them.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me get the table open,” Bim said, and Logan heard the clicking of metal, his heart was racing.

“Well Sanders, I look forward to seeing which hero is missing in the coming weeks,” Dark smiled as he whispered quietly into Logan’s ears, patting him once on his shoulder.

Logan felt Dark’s aura grab him and began fighting it, trying to reach for anything but Dark dropped him onto a metal table. His wrists locked into a tight metal cuff at the top and his ankles locked into a similar cuff at the bottom. He had almost no room to struggle.

“Do not leave evidence,” Dark ordered his progeny. “The heroes will come looking for this one.”

“Shit, it’s like this is my first rodeo,” Bim scoffed.

“I mean it, be responsible,” Dark ordered and Logan heard the Void being ripped open, leaving him alone with Bim.

[razorblade180]

Twin Snowflakes pt10: Expedited Exam pt1

“Thank you miss!” a group of three kids say with crumbs on their face and new red coats. Summer kneels down and wipes the middle child’s face, making him giggle. No problem little ones. I wish I could do more but this is all I have for now. Stay warm and go back to that that nice man’s mechanic shop if you ever need help okay?

“Okay.” They give her a big hug before running off.

Summer:Phew! That makes twenty five. I wish I had brought more money. Starting to run low.

Winter:You could swipe your card.

Summer:I never bring it down here. That little boy just now, last time he stole it.

Winter:What!?

Summer:Yeah it caught me by surprise when it happened the first time. Hehe It’s a good thing a little kid with a SDC credit card is highly suspicious. Those three tried buying an entire grocery story.

Winter:And you still let him hug you?

Summer:Everyone needs a good hug. Now let’s go to the la-

“Ms?” A small voice called out her from behind her w gave Summer a little scare. It was a little girl’s doing. Her face was all dirty and her black hair was unkept. Tiredness was in her big golden eyes.

Summer:H...hi. I don’t think I’ve seen you before. Are you okay? What’s your name.

Ruth:M..my is Ruth. *shivering*

Summer:Ruth huh? Where did you come from.

Ruth:My parents they....lost all their money. So they lost me too.

Winter:*frowning* That’s...terrible. They didn’t even give you to law enforcement or an orphanage?

Ruth:They did, but it’s hard there. I don’t like it at all. So I left.

Summer:You look cold. *unzipping jacket*

Winter:What are you-

Summer wrapped her over sized jacket around the kid. She couldn’t be older than twelve. Maybe even ten. The warm fire dust glowed and made Ruth’s eyes widen. Summer smiledat the reaction. “Pretty cool right?” A sudden weight rested on her back. She looked up to see Winter standing over them both without her military coat on. Summer chuckled bashfully at Winter’s exhausted expression.

Summer:Whoops. I’m probably stressing you out a little huh?

Winter:More than a little. Better safe than sorry.

Ruth:Th...Thank you.

Summer:The cold is a dangerous thing. Can’t let it get too close now can we? This might not fit you but hey, it’ll make a good blanket this way. Tell me, do you know the name of the orphanage?

Ruth:S...Saint Harold’s.

Summer:I’ll tell you what. If you go back there then I’ll promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure it gets a bunch of nice things so you won’t want to runaway. I might not look like it, but I’m super good at getting nice things.

Ruth:You’ll do that?

Summer:Of course! I would never lie, it would ruin my image.

Winter:And you were raised better than that.

Summer:I was getting to that part hehe. So, do we have a deal little lady?

Ruth:....You’re really gonna help out.

Summer:It’s an Arc promise. That’s worth like a hundred pinky promises. But if you want more convincing then we can make it a hundred and one.

She takes off one glove and holds out pinky in front her then wiggles it. Ruth simply stare at for a moment before it registers that she’s supposed to do it back. The tiny girl extends her pinky and watches Summer curl them around each other and give it a little tug. Something about the whole situation makes Ruth smile deep down. ‘This lady, she’s so sweet. Like an Angel.’

Summer:There we go. A hundred and one promises. Now do we have a deal?

Ruth:Y...Yes ma’am! Can you walk back with me?

Summer:I-

Oh yes, I wouldn’t mind seeing such a place. Every floor, every room, child....

......

Winter:Summer?

Summer:Huh? Sorry....spaced out for a second.

Ruth:Wow, your pinky is really cold.

Summer*lets go* Sorry about that. *puts on glove* As much as I would love to, I have to go do something really important. It’s another promise I have to keep. My Auntie would be more than happy to though; right Winter?

Winter:Are you sure?

Summer:Don’t worry about me. We’ll go to the lake some other time. I should be heading home anyways. I’ll someone and wait somewhere warm.

Winter:.....

Summer:Do I have to make a promise with you too?

Winter:I believe you, be careful though. Now then Ruth, you wanna hold my hand or be carried?

Ruth:*pouts* I am way too old to be carried.

Winter:A big girl? Okay then. Lead the way then.

Ruth:*grabs her hand* Foward march!

Winter:Hehe looks like I found a little trooper too. *walking off*

Summer:(On my own yet again.)

We both know that’s not true...when are you ever truly alone?

Summer:(Shut it....)

xxxx

“Order up. One hot chocolate, extra steaming for Schnee?”

“Thanks..” Summer said tossing what little cash she had left on the counter.

One of these days those are gonna make you f-

Summer takes a long sip of the beverage to the point she tips her head back a little. The barista’s jaw left open in amazement. “D..doesn’t that burn?” Summer finally puts the cup away and down on the counter. “If only.”

The sound of automated bells went off as the front door open. “There’s my niece; isn’t it a school day?” She turned around to see her uncle in a pristine white suit and red tie with a ice blue shirt under it. His hair was combed to the side and most importantly, his face was free of facial hair.

Summer:Hey uncle Whitley. Oh you know how school and I mix. We don’t. You look nice. Wait are you heading to work? I could’ve called someone else to pick me up.

Whitley:It’s fine. Not like they can fire me for being late. Besides, I was already picking up someone else. *steps aside*

Nick:......

Summer:.....Before you give me the “go to school” lecture, can you buy me another drink?

Nick:....I would give you that speech, but I have a better one in mind.

Summer:Do I still get a refill?

xxxx

Summer:That’s insane Nicholas. *sips drink*

Nick:Or maybe it’s genius.

Whitley:It sounds perfect insane time me.

Nick:Hey! This is a back of the limo conversation.

Whitley:I should hit the brakes for that but have it your way.

Summer:He’s right though. Just take the normal exam. You’re just gonna use the free time you created to do more work. Do you know what taking a break is?

Nick:No but I know the answer to all questions on the science test! Do you?

Summer:Yeah. Because I can learn everything in class the day it’s presented.

Nick:You should take tougher classes.

Summer:Gross. Learn to optimize learning. Maybe if you relaxed regularly then your brain could absorb information easier.

Nick:Never! This could be a win on multiple levels you see? I get more things done, Valerie feels even for me saving her-

Summer:Saving her?

Nick:She almost got ran over by some idiot driver on the way to school.

Summer:WHAT!?

Nick:Yeah it was crazy. It was a mustang with a bird on the side or something. That’s not the point. You also get a win because then you don’t have be in the women’s locker room and deal with that drama; which I wish you told someone about.

Summer:I mean.....I told Valerie

Nick:Ok well, I wish you told me.

Summer:Why?

Nick:Be...because........

Summer:?

The limo went silent and the boy seemed more frayed then usual l. He rubbed his fingers through his long messy hair before pulling out fifty lien and holding it front of Summer. “Please take it.” It wasn’t bribe money to help him. No, it was what they always did when they wanted a conversation topic to die.

Summer:The Throwaway Question? What is so hard about answering what I said.

Nick:Please just take the money and forget about it? I don’t have the energy to have that talk so let’s not have it. I always accept your money.

Summer:....*takes money* You get off easy this time but be ready if this topic gets brought up again.

Nick:*leans against window* I know I know. So, you really aren’t gonna help me with this? It’s perfect practice for the tournament for the both of us. Plus when is the last time the three of us got to fight together. I get tired seeing a tomahawk flying at my face; sometimes I want to see it helping me and not dropping my aura into the red.

Summer:You sound so bitter right now.

Nick:I’m winning gold in that tournament even if it fucking kills me! Oops, sorry uncle.

Whitley:I ain’t your parents.

Summer:....How bad do you want this to happen.

Nick:I don’t like the way you said that. What do you want?

Summer:I need your help with something.

Nick:I’m not singing.

Summer:You are literally the worst sometimes. You don’t even know what the cause is for!

Nick:Ugh, what’s the cause?

Summer:I’m thinking we get a little fundraiser going to get money for Mantle. Specially the food drives and an orphanage called Saint Harold’s.

Whitley:An orphanage? What brought that idea up.

Summer:I met a girl who recently has been placed there. I promised her that I would make it a nice place; I Arc promised.

Nick:Crap, you would. Now I’m obligated to help. *sinks into seat* can’t we just write a check? I don’t wanna sing.

Summer:That’s not fun.

Nick:When would I have the time to even put a fundraiser together. I’m a busy guy.

Summer:Uggh, I hate it when you’re right.

Whitley:Whatever check you two write, I’ll double it.

Summer:Really!?

Whitley:I’m usually holding back molding on meaningless events and it gets board members angry. You’d be giving me a valid excuse. Plus it’s a good use of our money.

Summer:Thanks, that means a lot. *smiles*

Nick:Am I off the hook?

Summer:Not even close. If I do this then that means I’m not singing at the tournament, so stop bugging me about it.

Whitley:Doesn’t that put him in the same position of messing up his schedule? Now he has to find something to fill that slot and make sure it’s good.

Nick:I apologize for trying to not include you in this conversation.

Whitley:I know. I don’t understand why you don’t duet with your sister at the tournament.

Nick:I take it back. Stop giving her ideas.

Summer:Too late! Those are my conditions. Take it or leave it.

Nick starts chewing on his lip as Summer offers a formal handshake. The deal wasn’t terrible. It only meant he’d be doing at minimum two tough matches and was still expected to entertain a crowd. That’s a tiring day; not to mention singing rehearsal. Knowing his sister, she probably won’t put him through the ringer. This exam does take care of practice as well.

Summer:So we shaking hands or not?

Nick:Don’t make me try any high notes.

Summer:Deal!

Nick:*shakes hand* Good, now you better be ready for tomorrow. I’m pretty sure we only get one shot at this.

Summer:I have a feeling you already have a plan to pass.

Nick:Oh Summer, when don’t I have a plan?

xxxx

The afternoon dragged on into night. Nicholas has spent hours with Summer and Valerie on face time to discuss their plans for tomorrow’s victory. Eventually all three of them called it a night and finally went to bed. Some of them a bit anxious about the whole thing; while others were anxious about school in general.

However night was just starting for Veronica was still on the open seas. Her gaze fixated on the moon’s reflection on the water and the dispersed glaciers everywhere. A sign that the boat was indeed getting closer to its intended destination. Two floor easels are propt up on each side of Veronica while a pencil and notebook are at the ready in her hands. She began drawing and sketching diligently; gaining ideas with each stroke until a shadow loomed over the immediate area.

Veronica:You’re blocking the light ma.

A new light quickly pushed away the darkness. Veronica smiled and looked up to see Yang looking at sketches littered everywhere; her hair glowing beautifully. Veronica went back to working.

Veronica:That works too I suppose. Always showing off. Not like I’m one to talk.

Yang:What are you working on?

Veronica:Concepts for a new fashion line. The water and scenery is the perfect cool color scheme to contrast the fiery design I want to create.

Yang:Fiery? Well I-

Veronica:Nope, won’t work. Not to put you down but your flames are a bit boring.

Yang:Boring!!?

Veronica:Seem them all my life. A grand inferno of some sort. I’m hoping the glow of Mantle’s warm glow from its heat generators against the tundra is what will do the trick.

Yang:Inspiration? That’s what motivated you to go on this trip? Menagerie getting too cramped for you?

Veronica:Something like that. I was always too much for that place anyway. Not that Solitas is exactly better. Airships roaring hourly, and the people frankly aren’t my kind of crowd for obvious reasons.

Yang:One person from Atlas definitely has your attention in a good way. As for the other...

Veronica:*flips page* I know what you’re doing. I rather not think about either of them right now. Too busy concentrat-

Her pencil breaks as she finishes another outline. Slowly her grip on it tightens intensely before she takes a deep breath and sets it down. Veronica’s hand reaches for her tail and rubs it rhythmically as she continued looking at the moon.

Yang:Blake told me something interesting before we left. About why she’s usually the one who doesn’t have to try too hard to get you to pipe up. I hope you know... I’ll listen to whatever you want to talk about. Including the emotional stuff. Everyone gets that way.

Veronica:I know that.

Yang:Still gonna be tight lipped though I see.

Veronica:No, there’s nothing to talk about. Just enjoying the view. The full moon never looked prettier than tonight.

Yang:Full moons still freak me out. The fact the gods fixed it as proof of their power is crazy. Even I almost wanted to kneel to them.

Veronica:I’d be more impressed if they did something meaningful instead of correcting their own foolish mistake. Anyways, when will we get to Atlas?

Yang:Ships slow down from here because of the glaciers. Then we port and take an airship. We still have plenty of time to kill. Wanna grab some dinner? The captain is eating with everyone tonight. I’m sure his fancy outfit has something interesting you might find.

Veronica:I’ve seen it already. It’s very tacky and daft. A far cry from even my earliest work.

Yang:I bet it’s more cost efficient at the very least. I mean those outfits in your room-

Veronica:Will be worth every last lien it took to obtain those necessary materials. Not every day I get use Grade A stuff. If all goes well then my pieces will notoriety and I can by better stuff.

Yang:You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you? I’m proud.

Veronica:*smiles* Of course you are. I’m great. Now if you excuse me...

She gathers all her belongings in a way everything touches each other. Her hand rests on top of it all and the items sink into the floor along with her. “I’m going to lay down.”

Yang:I’ll bring some food to your room later.

Veronica:Thanks. *vanishes*

Yang’s eyes looked towards the railing of the ship. Veronica’s pencil still rested on top motionless. “She forgot her pencil? That’s re-” The moment her finger grazed it, the pencil shattered and the railing was cracked.

Yang:Sigh...hard to read and fiery inside. I wish she’d simmer down. It’s like I’m dealing with mom. *rubbing her head* Oh geez, I really have become dad....

xxxx

Harriet:So, you actually managed to talk them into it?

“Yep!” Nicholas said proudly as he pumped his fist outward. The trio stood on the track ready for their exam; each of them in their standard fighting clothes instead of school uniforms. Not that Nichola’s clothes make too much of a difference. Semi formal is typically his style after all. His mostly white pants and shirt were replaced with icy blue this time around. His vest abandoned. He had a feeling that he’ll end up thrown into the ground before his friends finish the battle. Nick took the first three buttons on his shirt and undid them. As well as slicked his messy hair back. “I’m gonna take this seriously from the jump!” The cold edge of Mort Froide already unsheathed and lightly scraping the ground at his feet.

Valerie stood ready in a light brown coat with fur around the collar, sleeves, and bottom rim. Underneath is a pink shirt with a white lightning pattern that makes it look like it’s cracking. Navy blue leather pants and light brown fur boots complete the look. A pair of blue matching leather holsters on held her twin tomahawks nicely across her back; accessible at any given moment. “I can’t believe we’re actually attempting this.”‘excitement and wariness crept from her voice. “Might as well hand us diplomas if we manage to win.”

Summer wore a similar outfit to yesterday. Thermals and all, except for jacket that was still in Ruth’s possession. It was gonna be a bit hard to explain to Penny how the newest creations she made had already been lost. Penny was nice but Summer knew she was in for a earful whenever she eventually has to ask for another one. Her left hand rested on the blade at her hip. “I honestly don’t remember any class of Paladin being this big. It’s at least one and half times the size of a fully matured Goliath.”

Her keen eyes scouted their soon to be battlefield. It makes sense to use the track area. Plenty of space. Still, every thing about gym still irritated her to no end.

Harriet:Summer, I’m glad you could make it to my class finally. Even if it is after school.

Summer:Teach....you look lovely today.

Harriet:......

Summer:Sigh....I’ll show up to class.

Harriet:You promise?

Summer:An Arc can’t go making promises willy nilly. But I assure you that there’s no need to worry. I won’t try to cause any more problems.

Harriet:We’ll see about that. I’m not gonna give you too much of a hard time about it. Focus on the task at hand and depending on how this goes I might sweep a few absences under the rug. Maybe turn a couple zeros in your grade book to something more pleasant.

Summer:Really? Yes ma’am! I appreciate the generosity.

Harriet:*smiles* You three will start the moment you move your feet or when the five minutes timer I start beeps. I’ll be up on the bleachers the entire time watching to make sure everything goes fine. The Paladin as your data uploaded into it. That means it knows your aura level; it’ll stop targeting you once you are in the red. Remember, all of you will still pass if only one of you remains when it’s defeated; individual letter grades will be different depending how much you fumble through this. I suggest you take this time discussion any plan of attack. Break a leg.*walks off* Not really though!

Summer: Five minutes. Wanna go over the game plan one more time?

Valerie:Didn’t commit it to memory last night Snow Princess?

Summer:You were the one dozing in and out during the video call. Do you remember everything?

Valerie:*red* Hehehe, ya got me. Nicholas...?

Nicholas:The Paladin is equipped with rubber bullets, stun lasers, concussion grenade, and thrusters for maneuverability. Not to mention it could just out right hit us with its body. It is made out of the finest metal; annoyingly hard to scratch. Fortunately, so are our weapons.

Summer:One lap around the track is three miles and the Paladin starts in the middle. No doubt able to attack with at least it’s bullets and maybe it’s laser from that position. Long ways, going from one end of the track to the other his half the distance, 1.5 miles, or 7920 feet.

Valerie:If it’s in the middle then we’re actually going .75 miles, 3960 feet. Definitely within laser range.

Nicholas:Traveling .75 miles is also the total distance walking across the track going from the short ways. Making reaching the center .375 miles, 1980 feet wouldn’t be too unbelievable for its concussion grenades to reach us.

Summer:Spatial awareness is everything. We can bait out certain attacks to deplete its ammo. Adjusting accordingly, even when it moves. So let’s-

Valerie:That’s right! Keep different distances from different positions. I knew I’d remember eventually. We’ll rotate between long, mid, and close range when necessary. I’ll get in close.

Nicholas:I’ll start in midrange

Summer:Leave long range to me then. I’ll cover both of you so don’t worry.

Harriet: 30 seconds!

Nicholas:Looks like we’re good to go. Valerie, Summer you’re sort of cornerstones of this.

Valerie:Huh?

Summer:What’s that mean?

Nick:As long as you’re the one watching me Summer then I know you’ll never let me fall. You seem to always give me what I need before even I do. Reading each other is second nature at this point. Valerie, your pure strength and will has always inspired me during any battlefield or boring situation. That’s why I push myself, so I can keep up. Let me not forget how amazing your semblance is as well. Couch Bree wanted both of you for this because she knows the three of us are a force to be recognized. Passing this exam was never insane in my eyes. So thanks for believing in me. I’ll do all that I can.

Harriet: 10 seconds!!!

The two of them were stunned by his words. His genuine confession of his feelings about the pair. Summer’s eyes looked like they were dancing while Valerie couldn’t help but be a little touched by the praise. It was lucky that the cool air already had her face a bit red. They locked eyes and gave a smile as well as a nod. They weren’t going to misplace trust.

Harriet:Three!!!!

Valerie:We got this.

Harriet:Two!!!

Summer:Easy A

Harriet:One!!!

Nicholas:Let’s get to it then...

Harriet:Beg-

All three dash at the same time. Valerie straight ahead, Summer to the far left end, and Nicholas around to the right. “ LET’S GO!”

Part 9

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (10)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 2.8k (this chapter), 32.4k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

They try everything. Sophie handles the cameras and phones while Phil and Chris spend way too long cleaning up files on their laptops and doing what they can to get any clear images out of the mess. It's no use. By the time PJ returns from driving Dan home, all they've accomplished is figuring out that the corruption is on their devices, not on the exported files. No matter what they do, the videos and pictures they took have the effect of being scrambled, like someone has pressed fast forward and also put a noise filter over them. The sound is no better - there's a high-pitched sort of ringing in all of the video and audio recordings that Phil can't understand the source of. Some files won't open altogether.

"How does this even happen?" Sophie mutters, bent over Chris' phone with a furrowed brow. "There's nothing left. Like, at all."

"We still have footage from the first night," says Phil. He's trying his very best to stay positive, but this is unbelievably frustrating. They experienced something last night, even if they can't agree on what it was, and they're supposed to start driving back to Brighton before it gets too dark. They don't have time for this. "With the shadow, you know."

His friends make grunts of irritated agreement. Phil knows that all of them are disappointed and a little angry about the lack of evidence for their hellish night, almost like they went through it for nothing, but he doesn't have anything comforting to say.

Phil has never been very good at comfort. He's good at distracting people and forcing optimism, but seeing such visceral emotions from his usually mild housemates makes him want to retreat into himself. He takes his glasses off to rub at his eyes, fighting off a budding headache.

"That's not really enough for a video, though, is it," says PJ. "I mean, you're not going to convince anyone with just a shadow."

"Well, we can't stay to try and get more," Chris says with a little huff.

"I can," Phil points out. He doesn't think he wants to, really, because this whole situation skeeves him out and going back alone would not help, but he needs there to be a purpose to his friends' suffering or he'll never forgive himself. He stares at his unfocused laptop screen, full of files that don't work, and wonders if they're going to bother to try and stop him. "I mean, you guys all have work tomorrow. I don't have anywhere to be. And I kind of want to see this through, so I can, like… take the train home when it's done."

There's a moment of quiet. Phil feels his shoulders tense at the possibility that he's going to have to argue his way into this. It's his job. Plus, he already knows his parents are going to have a problem with him staying longer to investigate, and fighting with yet another set of well-meaning people is more than he wants to do.

"Normally I'd be like, whatever," says PJ. "You know what you're doing and you do this sort of shit alone all the time. But, Phil, how the fuck do you think the paralysis will work if you're by yourself?"

"I won't try to sleep there," Phil decides, shoving his glasses back onto his face. "That's the only time it's happened, right? When people are already falling asleep?"

PJ's mouth twists unhappily, but he doesn't protest further. Phil wonders if he's actually won this argument or if PJ is just too tired from bickering with Dan about cryptids, or whatever they talked about on the drive. Thinking about Dan is a distraction, and not exactly a welcome one. Phil doesn't know how he feels - or even if he should be feeling anything at all - and he doesn't want to add that crisis on top of the one he's already dealing with.

"So you're just going to go there," says Chris. "Alone. And then poke around and go home?"

"That's what I do in most haunts."

"Fair play. Carry on."

It's almost funny how quickly PJ's expression nosedives into aghast. "What? That's it? You're not putting up more of a fight?"

"Why bother?" Chris asks with a little shrug. "He's a stubborn bellend."

"Hey," Phil half-heartedly protests. His friends don't deign to acknowledge it.

"You should bring a sigil with you," says Sophie. Her voice is soft and tired, but her eyes are kind in a way that PJ and Chris don't bother to be. "Why don't you bring something down that you'd have on you, and we'll all put something on it?"

"Really?" Chris asks. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking. Phil doesn't know if he thinks the idea is good or stupid, but he nods after Sophie does. "Alright, we can do that."

PJ is looking off into the distance while cogs seem to turn in his head. "Something you'll have physically on you, Philly, since we can't put it on your skin itself. Let us draw on your glasses or jacket or -"

"Knickers," Chris chimes in.

"Or your knickers," PJ agrees, far more solemnly than Phil thinks is necessary.

It doesn't seem like it'll actually help, but Phil feels so much affection and gratitude for his friends wanting to protect him in any way they can that he doesn't argue.

Phil doesn't really like the idea of going to the Wilkins place alone, either, but he's a lot more comfortable doing that than dragging his innocent friends along for the awful ride again. He thinks about Sophie's kind eyes staring up at the ceiling blankly, the way PJ gasped when he woke up, Chris trying to hide his own concern about the situation, and he feels his resolve stiffen even more.

Maybe he is a stubborn bellend. This is his responsibility, though. It's not right for him to keep asking for help. Phil lets the conversation flow to what snacks they're going to get for the drive and thinks about how he's going to break the situation to his parents.

--

It doesn't feel as satisfying to shut the door of his childhood bedroom, now. Maybe it's the fact that he's too mature to slam it, or maybe it's that the room itself isn't the haven it used to be. All the neutral colours and boring pieces of art are like a constant visual reminder that his life isn't here anymore.

He doesn't want it to be here. That isn't the problem. It feels stupid if he thinks about it for too long, but he grew up in this house. He's got scars from the sharp corners of the old furniture and more memories than he has in any other singular location. Sure, it makes sense that his parents are retiring and want to downsize from a big, empty house, but Phil really isn't comfortable with this level of change. He kind of assumed he'd always be able to come visit and feel at home again.

Phil sinks onto the mattress. For a long moment, he seriously considers going to sleep. It's barely past seven, but he didn't sleep well this morning. At least if he's unconscious he doesn't need to deal with the crushing weight of his parents' disappointment and worry.

The decision is made for him when his phone buzzes with a notification from Tumblr.

tell ur parents thanks for letting me stay and tell pj thanks for bringing me home and tell urself thanks for the uhhhh experience lmao its deffo not one im gonna forget anytime soon

Phil huffs a laugh and gets comfortable. You're very welcome. I'll tell them when I come out of hiding.

arent you in a very small car on your way to brighton mate… how tf do you manage to hide in there when youre huge

Oh I'm not in the car, I'm still at my parents' place. It's a long story and I hate typing a bunch on my phone. Phil grimaces at himself for the way that sounds, like he's cutting off any questions Dan might have before they ask. He sends another message. Voice call me on Skype or something if you wanna hear about my no good, very bad day.

He doesn't expect Dan to actually call him, let alone immediately, but Phil's phone starts buzzing with a Skype call before he's collected himself enough to find his headphones. He's still detangling while he answers with a sheepish, "Oh, hello!"

"Hi," says Dan. Their voice is low and amused, and Phil can't believe how nice it is to hear after only a handful of hours.

"I'm woefully unprepared, as per usual," Phil rambles, finally getting his headphones in and grinning at the bland wall in front of him. Nobody is here to judge him for it. "You, er, got home alright?"

"Obviously yes," says Dan. "So, you had a bad day?"

"'Cause you had a bad day," Phil sings back to them. The sound of Dan's giggle makes any embarrassment worth it, he thinks. "Yeah, uh, it was rough. So we wanted to look over the footage from last night to see what the camera caught, y'know, but… I don't know how, I don't have an explanation for it, but everything is corrupted. Our audio, our video, our photos. They're all beyond repair."

There's a few moments of silence, where Phil would think Skype had frozen if he couldn't still hear the faint music on Dan's end. Then, "What? You - what? We don't have anything?"

Phil likes the sound of 'we'. He probably shouldn't.

"We tried everything," Phil explains, his heart feeling heavy all over again at the reminder that they spent hours terrified for nothing. "But the corruption isn't even in the exported files, it's on our devices themselves. Chris' phone, our cameras… they're all fucked."

"If you're swearing, it must be fucking serious," says Dan. Phil wants to interrupt then, explain that his policy on bleeping out curses is more about staying monetized and keeping his parents happy than any personal morals, but Dan has already shot past the topic at the speed of light. "So basically we've got no proof we were ever there, let alone that something weird happened - which I'm not saying is some kind of fucking paranormal shit, by the way, but it was weird - and now you've got nothing to make a video with and I never should have told you about this place to begin with?"

"Dan, breathe." Phil waits until he's sure that Dan is at least trying to follow the directive. "It's okay. I'm glad you brought me here. And that's why I'm still in town - I'm going to get more footage."

"Not alone, you're not," Dan says fiercely.

"Peej and the other Scoobs already went home. I just didn't go with them."

"I don't care where your friends are," says Dan. Phil can almost see their hand waving dismissively. "You're not going back there alone. End of story."

The clear insistence in Dan's voice should be getting Phil's back up against the wall. He hates being told what to do with his own projects, needs to be in complete control whenever possible. Instead, he finds himself thinking that it's sweet of Dan to worry like that.

Christ, but he's got it bad.

"I'm still in town either way," Phil says, picking at a loose thread in his sleeve absent-mindedly. "Which my parents are, uh, not thrilled about."

"Really?" Dan sounds genuinely surprised. "They seem like they really love you, mate."

Love has never been the issue. That feels strange to think, cocky almost, but Phil has never really worried that his parents won't love him. Even with the secrets he keeps from them and their fears about the way he lives his life, the worst he's ever expected is disappointment. That just isn't the way their relationship works.

"Oh, they do," says Phil. "But they hate my job, and they think that it's stupid of me to keep investigating a place that clearly doesn't want to be investigated. They believe in ghosts and demons and all that jazz, y'know, they think I'm inviting evil into my life, so they said they'd let me stay here while I work but that we're going to have a 'serious discussion' about my life trajectory when I'm done."

"Ouch. I'd hate that conversation."

"Trust me, it's going to suck. I just got the preview today, and I already know I'm going to want to run away to Iceland."

There's a beat. Then, Dan says, "At least when you're there you can look into the hidden people. You know, the Icelandic elves or whatever that live in a parallel world. That seems up your alley."

"Your mum lives in a parallel world," Phil mutters.

Dan giggles. The sound of it is soft, like they're aware of their own volume, and Phil remembers that Dan lives in some kind of housing with a bunch of other students. He still loves the sound, so much so that he drifts into a nonsensical daydream of making Dan laugh as much as possible and almost misses Dan's voice coming through his headphones again.

"Since you're still in town," Dan is saying, and Phil makes a conscious effort to tune back in, "you should come by the shop tomorrow. I have an early class, but I'm starting work at eleven."

The prospect of seeing Dan again is such a good one that Phil doesn't even hesitate before he's agreeing. It'll be a bit of an effort to get out of bed early enough to avoid his parents and catch Dan for a good amount of time, but Phil feels like it's definitely going to be worth it. He likes Dan, likes being around them if absolutely nothing else, and the ill-advised butterflies in his stomach aren't enough to make him fall on the side of finding this a bad idea.

It isn't until after he's hung up and getting himself a sandwich so he doesn't have to eat an awkward dinner with his parents that Phil realises he's going to have Dan all to himself tomorrow. Well, to himself and to whatever patrons come into the coffee shop. The force of those warm eyes, just focused on him… it's going to test Phil in a way he's not sure he's ready for.

He turns away from the fridge and almost jumps out of his skin.

"Mum," he complains, free hand clutched to his chest. "Don't just stand there, you scared me!"

A smile tugs at Kath's lips, but her arms are crossed and her eyes are staring into Phil's very soul. He feels cornered all of a sudden, like he ought to be clawing for escape.

"Philip," she says, all warmth. There's that slight edge that he remembers so clearly from mishaps as a child, but for the most part it seems like she isn't here to lecture him. He imagines that's going to come from both of them. "This thing that you insist on doing… it's dangerous. You must know that, love."

Phil doesn't actually know that. For the most part, his career hasn't given him anything but boredom and a complex about his own creativity. It's just the odd cases, the ones like the Wilkins house, that get him squirrelly.

"I know, mum," he says anyway. It isn't worth the argument. "But this is my job."

"It doesn't need to be," she presses, and Phil realises that his assumption was very, very wrong. They're going to divide and conquer. She continues like she hasn't noticed the way his whole body is tensing up. "You have such a wonderful mind and loads of ambition, my dear. And that imagination! Gosh, you could do anything that you set your mind to."

Anything he set his mind to - if he actually tried. Phil can hear the words that she isn't saying, that his dad will have no trouble voicing later, and he feels the familiar burn in his throat like he's going to start crying.

He won't. He doesn't cry much, as a rule, but he's well-acquainted with the sensation of holding it back.

"I know that I can," says Phil quietly. He looks down at his sandwich. He isn't very hungry anymore. "Mum, I'm not - I don't do this because I - you know, I like my job."

That's not exactly the truth anymore, but Phil is also well-acquainted with the art of lying to his mother. She doesn't need to know about the doubts that plague Phil, the way that he's felt like he's slogging through videos until they catch his interest properly. That's something he can figure out on his own. He forces his eyes back up at her to drive the point home with a sincere, pleading sort of look.

Her mouth twists, unhappily this time.

"You need to grow up sometime, Phil," she says, so soft that it almost cushions the devastating blow of her words.

Almost.