#Time splitters future perfect

[annegodsk]

[ncoincidences]

all the fics I read this year, part II — drarry edition

Here's where you go for part I (jily). Drarry is my second top-ship of 2023! Personally, I am so awed by the drarry writers on here, their wonderful & unique fics out there, plus the many podfics! I hope to enjoy more podfics next year ❤️ For now I'm highly grateful to have read all these incredible fics which have comforted me during hard times ❤️🫂

Magic Man by @dracogotgame = dracogotgame - Draco is a Muggle Magic Performer, and Harry's sure he's using real magic, which he isn't allowed to do, and naturally sets up to investigate, but what follows is a fluffy romantic fic instead!

Tiny Dragons & Where to Find Them by @tasteofshapes  - Harry's tiny dragon is missing! It's with Draco 😳😏😍🥰

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead)* by dustmouth, nerakrose asexual Harry! This fic was so amazing, the vibes were soft and p calm ❤️

Far From The Tree by aideomai - GOSH THIS FIC. goodness where do i start. It's like enemies with benefits except we know we're not going to end up together because your future kids accidentally time travelled here and at least i don't end up in azkaban in the future also there's an evil swordlady trying to kill us all AND MORE. this fic has a great concept, amazing execution and a PERFECT ending.

Nice Things by aideomai - every drarry fic list must contain an 8th year fic! This one also has some interhouse friendships and the vibe is quite cosy. This is the fic where all the 8th years are accomodated in a house called 'Gatehouse'. Kind of gives off a bit of a 2012 Avengers fic, iykwim.

The Star Splitter by @oflights - ahsvgdjsknbvghk this WIP is the bane of my existence the object if my desires etc etc. Latest update has left me hanging! It is heart-healing but angsty at the same time, and has lots of world building. Features 35 yo drarry, plus lots of time-travelling. I'm putting a lot of trust in that "happy ending" tag!

if the bees know by fanfairmod, oflights - everything about this fic screams fall amd spooky season. it is cosy, starts a bit sadly but ends on a beautiful note. also feat. cute harry & scorpius moments!

go to it laughing by oflights - v cute meet-cute!!

along each garden wall by oflights - veela Harry! Feat. A Draco who wants to whisk Harry off in his hot air balloon and a time-stopping ship. It's funny and a nice read overall.

the first in line by oflights - so many misunderstandings in this one oh my god!!!! overall it's a funny and comfort fic feat. Vet!Harry 🤩😍

Close Behind* by oflights - angsty angsty fic! Betrayal, death, lots of worldbuilding and a gripping plotline!

Byzantine by oflights - alexa play jealousy, jealousy by olivia

What dreams may come by @lastontheboat  - i LOVE the unique concept this fic is based on! Amnesiac Harry has his memory regained by Healer Draco, but in the process they must have sex! The smut was incredible.

Assumptions by  @indigo-scarf - asexual draco with hurt and comfort that patches you back together!

Tomorrow by space_wingding - Harry and Draco are older, Harry's dying, Draco's a biographer, and this is how the fic starts. In the process of writing, they fall in love as they discover more about each other ❤️

It Was All Just a Game (Rewrite) by write_me227 - holy shit is this a ride. This is angsty, adorable, angsty, romantic, etc and has all the rockiness of a teenage relationship accompanied by lies and dark lords and wartimes. it had me totally under its powerful grip.

hear me (with your whole body) by @teacup-tai - this was an interesting fic, focussing on the intricacies of drarry, how miscommunication and not enough talking planted misconceptions in their minds about their relationship

[Podfic] GOODNIGHT FROM YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND by GallaPlacidia by greenmegsnoham, PhenomenalAsterisk - truly phenomenal podfic, so many fun moments and laughter! this was my first podfic, both the fic and the reading were great, i loved consuming fic in this form ❤️

*[Asterisk marks a fic i haven't completely read.]

[youhideastar]

Recs for Your Weekend: WIPs!

I don’t usually read WIPs, because I’m the kind of person who gets really heartbroken if I get attached and then the fic is abandoned. But every so often an author I trust or a summary I just can’t resist tempts me to take a chance—and it works out! Here are my four favorite current WIPs, all of which are, to my knowledge, still updating. Full recs behind the cut!

The Star Splitter by @oflights (Harry Potter, Harry/Draco, time travel, kidfic)

true gold fears no fire by @defractum (CQL/MDZS, Wangxian, palace AU)

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by kizukatana (CQL/MDZS, Wangxian, modern cultivation AU)

being what I am | End OTW Racism by bunnxianluvsu (SVSSS, Bingqiu, modern AU)

The Star Splitter by @oflights (Harry Potter, Harry/Draco, time travel, kidfic)

I’ve recced this one before, and it hasn’t let me down since then. A time-traveling Draco happens upon 7-year-old Harry Potter at Privet Drive and can’t help rescuing him, royally fucking up the timeline and his own life in the future in the process. You might be leery of a fic where Draco ends up raising the kid version of the guy who—as an adult—he falls in love with – I worried about that, too, but the author somehow manages to keep that from being weird, which is pretty impressive. Buckle up for this one, because it’s a wild ride with lots of twists and cliffhangers!

true gold fears no fire by @defractum (CQL/MDZS, Wangxian, palace AU)

Many MDZS/CQL authors have attempted palace AUs (probably after watching Nirvana in Fire), but so far, this is the only one I’ve read that’s succeeded—and hot damn. It’s so good. In which LWJ, recently made Emperor of China and still mourning the man he knew as Wei Ying, makes an arranged marriage to one “Jiang Wuxian.” He consigns his new spouse to the Empress’s palace without bothering to look at his face—and Wei Ying, stir-crazy in said palace, then decides to sneak around the Forbidden City at night in disguise, where he is apprehended by Lan Wangji on the rooftops by moonlight. The perfect mix of plot, character, and romance, with a delicious dash of identity porn and a tasty conspiracy. I swooned and you will, too!

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by kizukatana (CQL/MDZS, Wangxian, modern cultivation AU)

This is a modern AU where WWX is kicked out of the Jiang Sect and stripped of (most of) his core after being blamed for Jiang Fengmian’s death on a group night hunt; he finds a home in Caiyi Town with Wen Qing and her family and starts supporting himself with a nighthunting YouTube channel, after not one but two meet-uglys with LWJ. 😂 The author’s summary references an event that, 140K in, still has not happened, so don’t rely too much on that – the story focuses a lot more on WWX building a new life with his channel and his inventions, and on his growing relationship with LWJ. The modern cultivation worldbuilding is great, and you’ll love the star turns by Wen-popo as WWX’s cutthroat business manager and NHS as the designer who supplies WWX with increasingly slutty (affectionate) cultivation outfits.

being what I am | End OTW Racism by bunnxianluvsu (SVSSS, Bingqiu, modern AU)

True confessions: I did not like SVSSS. *Hides behind a desk* But I’m still glad I read it, because so many great authors are doing such great stuff with the source material. This no-powers modern AU is pure comfort food… which is appropriate, since it’s about renowned chef Binghe expressing his love for Shen Yuan with food after they re-enter each other’s lives. So warm and tender – a perfect winter read.

[pumpkin-eater-the-alien-angel]

https://youtube.com/@BurningGodzilla420

Check out my YouTube Channel!

Dead4Life / @burninggodzilla420

I play these games currently and more is to come!

BeamNG .Drive

Kirby Air Ride

Sonic Gems

Sonic Riders

Sonic Adventure DX

Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

Rom Hacks and Mods in general

Time Splitters Future Perfect

Like, and Subscribe!

[stalkish-shellos]

Just finished time splitters future perfect.

It was goofy and kinda strange which I appreciate

[aurielshop]

150W 4-in-1 Fast Car Charger with USB & Cigarette Lighter Splitter

Unleash the Power: Drive and Charge!

Take a step into the future of car charging with our versatile 150W 4-in-1 Car Charger. Designed for those who lead an active, on-the-go lifestyle, this device transforms your regular car lighter slot into a multi-device charging station.

Key Features:

- 4-in-1 Cigarette Lighter Adapter: Comes with 3 USB ports and 1 traditional socket. Perfect for powering a sat nav, heated seat, and other USB-powered devices simultaneously. - Fast Charging Capabilities: With 30W USB-C and USB A ports, experience superfast charging. Boost your iPhone 14 Pro Max from 0-50% in just 25 minutes, and most Android devices from 0-60% in just 35 minutes. - LED Voltage Display: Stay informed about your car's battery status. A vital feature to ensure safe driving and optimal device charging. - Universal Compatibility: Whether you have the latest iPhone, Samsung Galaxy, or a GPS device, our car charger has got you covered. It's also compatible with 12-24V cars, trucks, and RVs. - Subtle Rainbow Light: A soft LED indicator lets you know your device is charging, even in the dark, without being distracting.

Why Choose Our 4-in-1 Car Charger?

This car charger is perfect for anyone on the move. Whether you're on a road trip, heading to work, or just running errands, you'll never face the inconvenience of dead devices. Here’s what makes it special: - Multiple devices can be charged at once, meaning no more waiting for one device to charge before plugging in the next. - The real-time voltage display ensures your car's battery stays within a safe range, preventing unexpected breakdowns or battery issues. - Its compact size ensures it doesn’t clutter your dashboard, while the protective cap keeps the charger safe when not in use. - Made with high-quality PC fireproof material, safety is paramount.

Technical Specifications:

Our charger boasts a maximum output power of 45W, and supports multiple fast charge protocols including Samsung Adaptive Fast Charge, Huawei FCP, USB PD, and Qualcomm Quick Charge. It is crafted with precision and certified by CCC, CE, ROHS, and FCC.

Charge on the Go!

Why compromise on power when you can have it all? Upgrade your car's charging capabilities and never face a dead device again. Order yours today! Read the full article

[aaronpullinteeth]

Watch "Time Splitters: Future Perfect! - Ep1 - START AS YOU MEAN TO GO ON!" on YouTube

TIME TO SPLIT!

[dezymandus]

Fuck you, Time Splitters is the greatest series ever

[seldaran]

DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE LIKE A MONKEY

MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE LIKE A MONKEY

SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT LIKE A MONKEY

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL LIKE A MONKEY

[drnikolatesla]

Nikola Tesla’s Ether Theory

By J. J. J.

The ether is considered a universal medium consisting of a primary substance, attenuated beyond conception, which fills all space and connects all matter. This medium, or field of force, is responsible for action at a distance—a concept where an object can interact with other objects even though they are separated in space. This idea still baffles today’s physicists, but was understood by Nikola Tesla long before Albert Einstein coined his “spooky action at a distance”.

Before I get into Tesla’s explanation of the ether, I must first recall the famous 1887 Michelson-Morley experiment, because I know some readers will immediately bring it up. The experiment was intended to detect the ether using light beams and mirrors to record the speed of light through the ether relative to the Earth’s movement around the Sun; however, the two scientists failed to detect the ether and it became one of the most famous failed experiments in history. Surprisingly though, the experimenters did not account for the fact that the speed of light was relative to the observer moving with the apparatus, which led to the null effect. What it did, rather, was prove that the average velocity of light for a round trip between a beam splitter and a mirror was independent of motion through space. Either way, physicists agreed that by its nature, the ether cannot be detected and it is unnecessary for explaining how light travels through space.  

It was Heinrich Hertz, who during the same time as the Michelson-Morley experiment, demonstrated the notion of action at a distance proving the existence of electromagnetic waves first predicted by James Clerk Maxwell in 1864. Since these waves travel across space, there must be a medium carrying the waves. Like Maxwell, Hertz postulated that ether was structureless beyond conception, and yet solid and possessed a rigidity incomparably greater than the hardest steel. Electromagnetic waves were then believed to be transverse waves (waves that vibrate at ninety degrees angles).

In the early 1890s, Nikola Tesla repeated Hertz’s experiments with a much improved and a far more powerful apparatus, coming to the conclusion that what Hertz observed were longitudinal waves in a gaseous medium propagated by alternate compression and expansion. After discovering these results, Tesla declared that light, and other electromagnetic waves, are not transverse waves (a theory still believed today in conventional physics), but instead are a longitudinal disturbance in the ether involving alternate compressions and rarefactions. In his own words, “light can be nothing else than a sound wave in the ether.  Since light has such a constancy of velocity, light can only be explained by assuming that it is dependent solely on the physical properties of the medium, especially density and elastic force.” It wasn’t until after Nikola Tesla met with Hertz and explained his results that Hertz then changed his views on the ether and accepted that it was a gaseous medium rather than a stationary one.

Believing that the ether was one of the most important results of modern scientific research, Tesla refused to abandon it because in his mind the ether was an important key to understanding how electrical energy could travel through space without wires. He displayed this phenomenon in numerous experiments and lectures throughout the 1890s.

It wasn’t until 1896 when Tesla finally obtained experimental proof of the ether. He invented a new form of vacuum tube which could be charged to any high potential and operated with pressures up to 4,000,000 volts. In 1929, Tesla spoke of these vacuum tubes saying, “One of the first striking observations made with my tubes was that a purplish glow for several feet around the end of the tube was formed, and I readily ascertained that it was due to the escape of the charges of the particles as soon as they passed out into the air; for it was only in a nearly perfect vacuum that these charges could be confined to them. The coronal discharge proved that there must be a medium besides air in the space, composed of particles immeasurably smaller than those of air, as otherwise such a discharge would not be possible. On further investigation I found that this gas was so light that a volume equal to that of the earth would weigh only about one-twentieth of a pound.”

To explain the density of the ether, Tesla referred to William Thomson’s equations. In 1932, Tesla said, “Its density has been first estimated by Lord Kelvin and conformably to his finding a column of one square centimeter cross section and of a length such that light, traveling at a rate of three hundred thousand kilometers per second, would require one year to transverse it, should weigh 4.8 grams. This is just about the weight of a prism of ordinary glass of the same cross section and two centimeters length which, therefore, may be assumed as the equivalent of the ether column in absorption. A column of the ether one thousand times longer would thus absorb as much light as twenty meters of glass. However, there are suns at distances of many thousands of light years and it is evident that virtually no light from them can reach the earth. But if these suns emit rays immensely more penetrative than those of light they will be slightly dimmed and so the aggregate amount of radiations pouring upon the earth from all sides will be overwhelmingly greater than that supplied to it by our luminary. If light and heat rays would be as penetrative as the cosmic, so fierce would be the perpetual glare and so scorching the heat that life on this and other planets could not exist.”

According to Nikola Tesla’s ether theory, all matter in the universe is metamorphous from the ether. When the ether is set in motion, it becomes gross matter. All matter, then, is merely ether in motion. In 1900, Tesla said, “By being set in movement, ether becomes matter perceptible to our senses; the movement arrested, the primary substance reverts to its normal state and becomes imperceptible. If this theory of the constitution of matter is not merely a beautiful conception, which in its essence is contained in the old philosophy of the Vedas, but a physical truth, then if the ether whirl or atom be shattered by impact or slowed down and arrested by cold, any material, whatever it be, would vanish into seeming nothingness, and, conversely, if the ether be set in movement by some force, matter would again form. Thus, by the help of a refrigerating machine or other means for arresting ether movement and an electrical or other force of great intensity for forming ether whirls, it appears possible for man to annihilate or to create at his will all we are able to perceive by our tactile sense.”

In summary, Tesla experimented, and proved his theories using the scientific method. His methods were far more superior to other physicists of his time, because he had the motors and transformers invented by himself to help with his experiments. These include the induction motor, his Telsa coil, and many more apparatuses. In the future the ether may be referred to as dark matter, the force etc., but Nikola Tesla’s ether theory will be proven true in years to come.

[cozy-possum]

Pedro Lives AU: Waiting on a Miracle/Antonio’s gift

Support My Writing?

Pedro practically shoves Mirabel away after she walks with Antonio, he pulls her aside before she goes into the room, reminding her that she shouldn’t go beyond a doorway since she doesn’t have a gift. Antonio pulls her in once the animals come, and once he’s returned to the ground. Pedro huffs and tries to block her way into the room.

The photo is staged; everyone in their proper places; Mirabel almost outside of the room itself; Pedro doesn’t smile, just lets his eyebrows settle in the way everyone knows he’s not disappointed. Her father and uncle are allowed they’re not like her,  they were brought into the family; it’s not their fault.

Mirabel backs out of the room, a shingle falls and shatters; the candle flickers with it and Mirabel rushes to see what is going on; as she turns from the shingle, looking back to the rest of the house, the doors, she’s horrified to see the cracks in the house, splitters and gaping gashes; they seem to grow and the shadows seem to lengthen; a faint green glow from around the candle. She screams, charging back into the room shouting the house is falling apart, that there was a strange light around the candle and for the first time Pedro hugs her; it’s almost desperate and Mirabel thinks he’s going to soothe her but he just hisses into her ear that maybe her glasses need fixing; that’s the only explanation for the words “what have I said about bad sight?” that gets hissed into her ear.

A family meeting is called once the party ceases; everyone is exhausted but Pedro doesn’t care. He explains the cracks in their house, how the miracle may be in danger; how it’s what cause Bruno to abandon them; he saw the future and decided he didn’t want to watch the family fall apart. Pedro doesn’t say it, but he heavily implies that the house falling apart is why Mirabel didn’t get her gift. That if the house if, fixed her door may appear. While Mirabel would have normally jumped at the chance to potentially gain a gift; she’s far more concerned about her house falling apart; about the fear that is fracturing her family and Pedro seems a little more openly disappointed that Mirabel isn’t throwing herself into saving the miracle to gain a gift.

Pedro insists that the town cannot know. That they have to keep up appearances, and nervously Luisa gestures to her leg. He hushes her, Isabela is their new front line. She’ll be married to Mariano, they’ll have a perfect family, they’re save the miracle, or at least bear the burden of it failing, bringing in people outside of the family is damaging the miracle; it cannot keep up with the expansion. Pedro starts preparing the family to recite this story; that the miracle is for the family Madrigal; but the more Madrigal’s there are the weaker the gifts

Support My Writing?

[cheezritsu]

Haikyuu Couple Aesthetics

Daichi Sawamura: good luck charms, front row seats at his games, the mature couple; “mom and dad” of the friend group; saying “goodnight” to one another on your doorstep, sentimental captions on their instagram posts, eating dinner and talking about your day like you’re already married; making plans for the future with one another involved; impressing one another’s parents; the thrill of doing everything together; being each others emergency contact; sleeping so well because your love is reliable and stable. You two are the timeless high school sweethearts, making the unattainable look so easy.

Sugawara Koushi: cafe dates, doting words, “sweetheart” and “darling,” laughing just from looking at one another. The secretly chaotic couple, perfectly curated dates, being approved by all his friends, soft, sweet pecks; random flower bouquets on your doorstep; kissing away your tears; hugs warmer than fresh baked cookies, grading student papers over dinner, smiley face post-it notes in your bento boxes, farmers market dates, always, always knowing each other’s favorite things; thoughtful gifts, mistakenly being called “Sugawara-san” before you’re married, shy smiles, kissing his beauty mark, a relationship as easy as the breeze. You two are like bees and flowers, working in tandem to create something natural and sweet.    

Nishinoya Yuu: cutting class to hang out in the hallways, popsicles melting in the summer heat, tongues dyed red and blue from convenience store slushies, dinner dates with no leftovers, neon colored band-aids, learning to hop a fence, scuffed sneakers, bruised arms. The lawless couple, squad posing in couple pictures, matching dyed streaks, sneaking out past midnight, pulling pranks, sitting on the swingset in the middle of the night, counting the stars over head. Adoring stares, “I’m so proud of you!”, kissing his bruises, screaming out the window of your car on a road trip. Traveling the world together, video messages, blowing kisses to each other, saying “I missed you!” after one day apart. You two are twin stars, constantly orbiting each other and burning brighter, together.

Tanaka Ryuunoske: shaving his head, mini skirts, being Saeko’s favorite, troublesome trio antics, late night food runs, horror movie marathons, couple gym workouts. The unexpected couple; getting compliments from the eldery on how cute you two are, flipping off his teammates while you kiss in front of them, excessive worrying, scaring off any boys that look at your wrong, the “Will Smith gesturing to his Wife” meme; thinking you’re too good for this world, calling each other “bro” romantically, kissing him after winning games, placing a beanie over his head in the winter, taking unflattering photos of one another with the most sincere captions. You two are the moth and the flame, drawn together by an inexplicable pull. 

Tsukishima Kei: Wool overcoats, headphone splitters, dogeared textbook pages, study dates, strawberry desserts, “This song reminded me of you.” The better than you couple, wearing his t-shirt to sleep, borrowing each others sweaters, kissing his bruised fingers, hiding in his jackets, going to the same university, softly singing in long car rides, always slightly touching one another, quick, secret kisses, height difference jokes, moon-centric nicknames (“moonbeam,” or “moonshine”) trying on his glasses, mirror selfies,sharing record collections, concert dates; weekend dinners at Tsukishima’s childhood house, being adorded by his teammates, dinosaur themed gifts as a joke, Studio Ghibli movie marathons, listen parties as dates, opening up to one another, “quit staring at me” “but I love you;” him constantly smiling when you’re next to him and denying it ever happened. Sharing insults as a love language, being soft when the time comes, humming into his hair as you fall asleep together. You two are a sweet, slow ballad; a duet between lovers in perfect harmony. 

Akaashi Keiji: library dates, meet cutes, book recommendations, fancy dinner dates, proofreading each other’s work, cuffed trousers, trench coats, french perfume, dainty jewellery, knuckle kisses, the academic couple; good grades, pet names, longing glances, visiting each other’s jobs, sharing clothing, reading books over his shoulders, cocooning in linen blankets, the scent of fresh laundry and lavender, running your hand through one another’s hair, smoothing wrinkles out of his works shirts, working around each other in the bathroom in the morning; matching schedules, museum dates, “you’re the Romeo to my Juliet.” “please don’t die for me.” Literature references, letting Bokuto third wheel, being the smartest couple in the room, massaging one another’s shoulders after long days, words of affirmation, sitting on top of his desk, smiling as he edits another page; “are you coming to bed?” ‘quick, secret smiles. You two are matching portraits in a museum, your love equally as timeless and beautiful. 

Oikawa Tooru: alien bandaids, golden hour selfies, matching skin care routines, wrapping his bandages, phone calls to remind him of things, leaning his head on your shoulder, the king and queen couple; listening to each others insecurities, being his biggest cheerleader, holding your face like it’s the whole world, helping him learn spanish, constantly bragging about one another, stupid nicknames in each other’s phones,  “~Iwa-chan!~”, the Seijoh team rolling their eyes at your PDA, threats from Iwaizumi, making promises you intend to keep, being his rock, letting him cry if he needs to, petty rants, keeping nail files in your purse, knowing the real him, framed couple pictures, teasing him with the team; “I have faith in you;” being there when each other needs it. You two are beloved monarchs, ruling your domain hand in hand with benevolent smiles. 

Kuroo Tetsuro: matching leather jackets, red lipstick kisses, theater hopping, chemistry puns, trying (and failing) to get rid of his bed head, constantly handsy, late night drives, cram sessions, lipstick smudges on his neck, “I’m always this kind,” Yamamoto crying in the distance, “Kenma, love us!”, being double trouble, the power couple; better grades together, singing off key, ugly couple photos, sleeping on the train, awful, cackling laughter, adored by his grandparents, stroking your hair as you fall asleep curled onto a too small couch; making it work no matter what, your eyes shining with pride at all his games. Being on the same wavelength, adoring stares while brushing your teeth, kissing him by his tie, making out in the back of taxis, pulling him into a well needed hug without thinking, playing with your food, whispering ‘I love you’ into the crown of your head. You two are immortal lovers, reunited in this life, and all those after. 

Osamu Miya: late night diner runs, lazy mornings in, being business partners, staying up late drafting new menu items, slow dancing in the kitchen, all you can eat buffets, roses before every date, subtle pda; the domestic couple; matching outfits, holding hands with intertwined fingers, clutching your chests with heavy laughter from each other’s jokes, eating half each other’s plates on dinner dates; devouring ice cream by the tub while bingeing television shows, treating grocery store runs like dates, falling asleep to his heartbeat, comfortable silences, long talks while washing dishes, baking cookies at ungodly hours, hanging onto one another’s arms, sneaking away from parties to be alone, tracing patterns on one another’s skin, whispering “I love you” when the other isn’t listening, temple kisses, side hugs, growing into one another, cooking food as a love language, having immense pride for the one another. You two are best friends, falling in love with each other over and over again every day.

Atsumu Miya: neon colored lights reflecting off his hair, open mouthed kisses, toothy smirks, house parties, being one another’s arm candy, diamonds glinting under flashing lights, breathlessness, wandering hands, showering together, black lingerie, superfluous travelling, first class seating, poorly concealed hickies, clinking champagne glasses, “That’s my girl/boy!” wearing his track jacket, selfies in expensive hotels; the celebrity couple, “I don’t speak broke,” shiny engagement rings, paparazzi photos, explicit pictures, red sports cars, winks meant only for you, hands on your waist, matching manicures, tipsy kisses, flaunting cash, making out on kiss cams, holding ring covered hands, never being alone; cheesy romantic texts, only having eyes for one another. You two are wrapped around each other’s fingers tighter than a bandaid, and that’s how you like it. 

[itcars]

First Look: The Lamborghini Essenza SCV12

Automobili Lamborghini presents the Essenza SCV12, the track-only hypercar in a limited edition of 40 units, developed by Lamborghini Squadra Corse and designed by Lamborghini Centro Stile. The direct descendant of cars such as the Miura Jota and Diablo GTR, the Essenza SCV12 is fitted with the most powerful V12 naturally aspirated engine ever developed by Lamborghini, combined with aerodynamics inspired by racing prototypes and new technical solutions designed for the ultimate driving experience.

Stefano Domenicali, CEO and Chairman of Automobili Lamborghini, commented: “Essenza SCV12 represents the purest track driving experience that our brand can offer, an engineering feat that highlights the inextricable link between our cars and the asphalt of the track. Lamborghini is a brand constantly looking to the future and searching for new challenges, but we never forget our roots and who we are: Essenza SCV12 is the perfect combination of our unconventional spirit as a super sports car manufacturer and our true passion for motorsport.”

Born for the track

The Essenza SCV12 was created for exclusive track use, with engineering solutions derived from racing. The V12 engine is able to deliver over 830 hp, with a significant power uplift from the RAM effect at high speeds. The exhaust pipes were designed by Capristo to reduce the back pressure, improving performance and emphasizing the unique sound of the engine. The power is handled by a new X-trac sequential six-speed gearbox as a structural element within the chassis, combined with rear-wheel drive to ensure compactness, structural continuity, and greater torsional stiffness.

The Essenza SCV12 features an exceptional power-to-weight ratio of 1.66 hp/kg thanks to the new-generation carbon fiber monocoque chassis without internal roll cage. The Essenza SCV12 is also the first GT car developed to respect FIA prototype safety rules.

To ensure maximum agility and stability on even the most demanding tracks, kinematic solutions inspired by racing prototypes have been adopted, such as the push-rod rear suspension installed directly on the gearbox. The panorama is completed by specific slick Pirelli tires mounted on magnesium rims (19” front, 20” rear), which frame the brake discs and calipers developed by Brembo Motorsport.

Aerodynamics

The aerodynamics benefit from Lamborghini Squadra Corse’s GT racing experience to ensure a level of efficiency and higher downforce levels than a GT3 car, with a value of 1,200 kg at 250 km/h.

The front hood has a double air intake with a central rib, typical of the Huracán racing cars, which separates the hot airflow coming from the radiator and conveys the cold air to the airscoop located on the roof. The front features a splitter and two lateral elements; on the sides, the flows for engine and gearbox cooling have been optimized through the use of vertical fins situated on the side sills. The aerodynamic package is completed by the large adjustable double-profile rear wing.  

Design

The design of the Essenza SCV12 is the result of the creative work by Lamborghini Centro Stile, which has designed all racing cars produced by Lamborghini since Squadra Corse was established. The essential nature of the car is underscored by the structure of the bodywork, formed by only three elements to enable quick replacement when necessary during pit stops. The exclusive Verde Silvans, Grigio Linx, Nero Aldebaran Gloss and Arancio California launch livery displays the trademark logos of long-standing Lamborghini Squadra Corse partners, Pertamina, Pirelli and Roger Dubuis.

The sleek yet taut and dynamic lines combine the appeal of 1970s prototypes and elements typical of Lamborghini’s DNA, like the hexagonal geometry that characterizes the front headlights, and the roof airscoop and air vents that frame the steering wheel. There is also the unmistakable “Y”, the stylistic feature repeated on the livery and in the cockpit, where each element represents the best compromise between lightweight, functionality and design. In fact, the instrument panel and dashboard are supported by an asymmetrical carbon “Y”, a load-bearing and stylistic element that frames the cockpit, designed to put the driver at the center of an absolute driving experience.

The design of the multi-function steering wheel with display was inspired by F1 single-seater steering wheels to offer the best ergonomics and a perfect feel, without the driver needing remove their hands from the rim with its futuristic yet rational design. The specific FIA homologated OMP seat with carbon shell embraces the driver to ensure comfort, safety and stability.

Driving experience

Essenza SCV12 customers will become part of an exclusive club that will give them access to special programs to drive their hypercar on the most prestigious circuits in the world. The program includes storage service in a new hangar built in Sant’Agata Bolognese for the Essenza SCV12 club. Each car will have a personalized garage and dedicated services, including webcams to allow customers to monitor their cars 24 hours a day using an app. The facility also houses the “Lamborghini Squadra Corse Drivers Lab” by Tecnobody to offer athletic training programs similar to those followed by the official Lamborghini racing drivers.

The track calendar will start in 2021 with “arrive and drive” events held at numerous FIA Grade 1 homologated circuits. Assistance will be provided by the Squadra Corse technical staff with the support of Emanuele Pirro, five-time winner of the 24 Hours of Le Mans and an excellent tutor for the customer-drivers; and Marco Mapelli, Lamborghini Squadra Corse Factory Driver.

[arabrot]

Who Do You Love by John Doran

Who Do You Love?

We drove 5,000 miles of barbed wire.

You’d think that by travelling that distance around a country you could get the measure of it. Especially if the country was only 361 miles from top to bottom and even less from East to West. You’d be thinking reasonably but not accurately.

Despite journeying the equivalent of one fifth of the circumference of the entire Earth in 31 days, all we got to see was the road itself. England endless. What we experienced was just a percentage of a splodge, a smidge of a blotch on the coastal fringe of Europe that deserved neither the sobriquet Great, nor the title United. How did such a small area of land contain such extravagant lengths of major road? In the same way that a human body could house a tapeworm 33 metres long. Probably not comfortably but hopefully not fatally either. Undoubtedly, in May 2015 - general election month - England had beauty to spare: it’s just that none of it was visible from the motorway.

We met on the forecourt of a petrol station near an airport. Heat haze was already starting to rise from the tarmac. The Driver was dressed immaculately in a tight-fitting black suit, shades and wide-brimmed black hat. His concession to non-monochromatic decoration was silver chains carrying cocks and crosses. He looked like Asa Hawkes, the “blind” preacher from Flannery O’Connor’s Wise Blood - but much thinner. He tipped the brim of his hat hello. This was not his stage hat but his everyday hat. His stage hat, the kind of prairie Stetson featured in the opening scene of Holy Mountain was massive and kept in the kind of box that suggested it was an essential part of a drum kit. It had its own carefully allotted slot in the back of the van with the tons of amplifiers, speaker cabinets, guitars, synthesizers, boxes of books, suitcases full of clothes and bags and bags of oranges we were taking with us. There was only one way to fit all of this stuff into the vehicle, and packing it correctly was like 3-D Tetris. All it took was one giant, impractical hat in the wrong place and then everything had to be taken out again and reloaded in the correct position.

He was the colour of milk, which made the angry red scars up either side of his neck all the more vivid. He looked like the missing link between human being and some future race of Lovecraftian eel-men who would be able to breathe via gills under water.

As well as me and the Driver, there was the Passenger. She looked more like she had stepped straight from the set of Bladerunner than a Jodorowsky or John Huston movie. This was to be their last tour as boyfriend and girlfriend as they were headed straight to a deconsecrated church in rural Sweden to get married as soon as the trip ended. I was merely a temporary guest in their world. A road voyeur with a month long pass.

Within minutes of setting off we hit the M25 we became enmeshed in May Day traffic. I realised that most of the month was going to be spent looking at slow moving traffic on motorways.

But just as driving to Brighton was slow and painful, leaving it the next day was a dream. On the motorway, time stretched and contracted simultaneously in temporal doppler effect. The days seemed longer but time blistered, popped and broke apart pleasantly as the brain switched down a few gears into a near pure experiential mode. There was little to worry about. All I could do was count the pylons and pretend I had a flamethrower to aim at UKIP billboards and hoardings; to luxuriate in motorway sign typography and listen to Maggot Brain as loud as it would go. Miles Davis’ Agharta was the soundtrack to us speeding out of the south up the M1 towards the Rainy City. Al Foster’s ringing, open hi-hat was our fuel. And then it was nothing but John Coltrane, Electric Wizard and NOMEANSNO until we reached our destination. It started raining the second we hit Stoke. And then before long we were on the Mancunian Way heading for Piccadilly in torrential rain, parking the van under a tangle of flyovers. When I planned this jaunt it was a thing of beauty. I took an AA road map and unfolded it until it covered half the floor space in my tiny living room. I took a sheet of stickers from my son’s Thomas The Tank Engine magazine and created a spiral of towns and cities, first round the edges near the coast and then spiraling in toward the centre. Our proposed journey looked like an occult temporal and spatial message only discernable from the god perspective. What I planned was a perfect thing. But after you plan your perfect thing what happens is this: promoters start phoning you up or emailing you. ‘We’ve double booked you with a Stereophonics tribute act’; ‘There’s actually a bar mitzvah on that day’; ‘It’s Record Store Day.’ And then the perfect thing falls to pieces. By the time we hit the road the perfect thing looked like that terrifying film of a spider on LSD trying to spin a web. And there was only one thing worse than a spider on LSD trying to spin a web and that was a spider on caffeine trying to spin a web.

We stopped for several coffees en route to Sunderland the next day. The weather was beautiful. Fields of golden rape seed glowed under a blue sky. But I gave up counting the UKIP billboards. There were just too many. The purple pound signs zipped past in a blur. We’d been on the road for five days and I hadn’t seen a single sign for Labour. It was almost a relief when we passed a huge hoarding in an arable field next to a broken tractor which proclaimed: “Prepare to meet your Lord!” We pulled in soon after to stretch our legs in front of a petrol station that shared a forecourt with a sex shop wrapped in a large tarpaulin hoarding, proclaiming: “Under new management!” Next door was a garden centre flying a row of ten confederate flags and two Union Jacks. There was a knackered and rusty jet stream caravan serving up plastic cups of filter coffee.

It became clear early on that the Travelodge was our friend. Every Travelodge the Driver, the Passenger and I shared was identical. A family room. One double bed, one fold out couch bed, minimal decoration, very interesting mass produced art, scant furniture, tea making facilities and a portable telly, often chained to the wall. The Travelodge may have had less furniture in it than the average bail hostel and may sometimes have smelled like a suburban pet shop from 1984 but it was totally fine as we were low ranking touring musicians and writers, not visiting dignitaries from Saudi Arabia.

After Leeds, our Travelodge was situated in a motorway retail park so the following morning we walked just a few hundred yards to the Toby Carvery for breakfast. Pushing open the double swing doors we were confronted by a man in stained chef’s whites, with hair pushed under a light blue plastic turban crowning a jowly and crimson face. He was methodically and noisily applying a large cleaver to a foot long cylindrical sharpening steel with a schnick-schnick sound.

“Hello!” said the Driver cheerfully. “Are you Toby?”

The chef looked up slowly and a pendulous and translucent bead of sweat swayed under his nose. His eyes were like drill holes in gammon. Bruised udders of flesh were hanging below each of his nicotine-stained ocular orbs. He was possibly the most hungover man I had ever seen. He jawed away silently, his eyes flickering dully with rage as he started straightening up. The BPM of metal on metal increased. The three of us circled round him gingerly and headed rapidly for the breakfast counter past tables rammed full of people who looked like they were about to die. I had never seen so many morbidly obese people in one place at one time. It was like God’s waiting room with unlimited fried egg.

Oh England, you are sick.

It was only £5 per head and you could eat as much as you wanted but the choice was only bacon, sausages, roast potatoes, black pudding, fried egg, fried bread, beans and mushrooms. The thrill of the open road. Unlimited roast potatoes and bacon for breakfast.

(We spent just one night at the supposedly more upmarket Premier Inn, and it was relatively more luxurious but due to its incomprehensible automated reception machine, it took us an hour and a long conversation with two angry Premier Inn employees to gain access to our room. “Getting into this hotel was like the opening scene from a new episode of Black Mirror”, said the Driver, a recent convert to the show. “There’s nothing like waking up in some shitty English town, before eating some shitty English breakfast before driving slowly down some shitty English motorway for 12 hours before loading into some shitty English venue and playing a shitty gig to ten people before going to some shitty Travelodge just to watch a really well made English TV series which explains to you exactly why everything is so fucked”, he told me gleefully.)

Any hotel room was actually very much like home as long as you had a laptop, a handful of Nick Cave CDs, some Right Guard and a copy of Threads on DVD, which happened to be the exact contents of my overnight hotel bag.

Waking up in another identical Travelodge on another identical Motorway retail park the next day I realised finally that this was literally the worst place for a writer to be during general election month. Nowhere had wifi that worked. It was like being in a bubble of ignorance for 31 days. We had to choose these parks to minimise the chances of the splitter van getting stolen with all of our gear inside it. Every Travelodge we stayed in was essentially the same, surrounded by a handful of other outlets - a Toby Carvery or a Harvester or, if you were really unlucky, both of them. Then maybe also a Costa, a Boots and an Esso petrol station as well. They were all accessible from a motorway roundabout that wasn’t really near anything other than either an airport, a prison or an industrial estate. A vague hangover from reading JG Ballard as a schoolboy led me to believe that there would be some kind of mind-expanding nourishment to be had from this aspect of the venture but these motorway retail parks were all identical. They were the most co-opted and least free spaces of all.

After breakfast, outside, sitting on a wall drinking a cup of tea in the sunshine, I looked intently at a semicircle of rooks surrounding a single bird of their own kind. They were slowly advancing in toward it. The bird in the middle was stock still and not moving. It didn’t look like a friendly encounter. The Driver and the Passenger came out and joined me. The parliament were just about to attack the accused in order to peck it to death but just as the corvine jury bore down, they were disturbed by a loud noise from above. The Red Arrows flew over the Travelodge in formation causing them to scatter  It felt almost as if the Driver existed in a bubble of weird, uncanny, apocalyptic and esoteric events that moved with him wherever he roved. But it was also as if he barely noticed any of them. I stood pointing at the sky.

“Yes, yes” he snapped irritably as if he was sick of seeing this kind of thing. “Let’s get in the van and get off otherwise we won’t get to Digbeth in time.”

That night I dreamt that the solid iron core of the Earth was about to slough us all off until the planet stood raw and bleeding in space, just roiling magma with no skin to contain it. The utter indignity of being born between waves, the scions of a pusillanimous age we were all about to be cast into the void with the filthy scab of a country we called England. A flat and unmagical land. A depressing and tawdry place. When I opened my eyes Toby was stood in the corner of the room, sharpening his cleaver, schnick, schnick, schnick, schnick. Empty eye sockets carved out of rancid, fly-blown gammon.  

“We have to stop eating lunch at the Harvester!” I sprang out of my fold out bed and shouted at the Driver and the Passenger, waking them from their sleep. “The full rack of ribs is fucking killing me!”

Fuck the Harvester. Fuck Toby Carvery. All of the clothes that were hanging off me on May 1 were now snug and it was only May 12. My ears were ringing with the premonition of some future blue cheese dressing related pulmonary event.

It was easy to see how ruinous life on the road could be, even when you didn’t drink or do drugs. I felt sorry for younger bands who felt they had to go out partying every night after shows. After a couple of weeks it must end up hellish.

The road to Hull was paved with UKIP signs. Only Necrosis by Cadaver played at ear disrespecting volumes kept us sane. It was dark as we drove into town and ghosts lined Ferensway waiting to greet me. The cinema where I’d had my first date in town, the pair of us just turned 18 - watching Shirley Valentine no less, saying, “Imagine being that old” about Pauline Collins and Bernard Hill - was now a bingo hall. The war memorial that I regularly drank sherry in front of on a bench. The Welly nightclub where I saw a punter swan dive off a balcony and go headfirst through the corner of a formica table. When they took him out on a stretcher there was a blanket pulled up over his face. And then down past my old house on De Grey Street and into the car park of the Adelphi. And then the ghosts waved us back out of town.

The drive to Great Yarmouth was gruelling and 13-hours long because of traffic - we got stuck behind no less than three serious road accidents. Bodies strewn across baking tarmac. Bloodied travellers weeping in incomprehension at the hard shoulder. Slow moving the traffic might have been but at least we had plenty of long albums to listen to. Just like a mattress in a shared student house or the narrative flow of the Bayeux Tapestry - Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly sagged in the middle but it was very, very long, making it ideal for the van.

Eight hours later, after the show, we flew down the A47 unimpeded like we were clinging to a rocket, listening to Slayer albums sequentially at full volume, gabbling like a bunch of four-year-olds as we went. By the last day, I felt like I was about to die and constantly on the verge of tears. I didn’t want it to end. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the worst of times. It was genuinely the worst of all times. And yet I’d crawl over broken glass to be able to do it all again right now.

You know, if you really want to get the measure of a country don’t drive round it. Take a train or walk. Maybe buy a bicycle or a skateboard or something.

We drove 5,000 miles of barbed wire and parked the splitter van by the roadside.

John Doran, Bangkok, Thailand, December 2017