I had a job interview at the zoo the other day. Now, don't get me wrong. I have enough animals at home, from packrats stuck in my wiring harnesses to my former neighbour's gang of feral chinchillas. In this case, doing my duty to society would involve some light landscaping, which means I would get to drive the little Kubota yard cars they had.
Ever since I was a kid, I was transfixed on visits to the zoo by these yard cars. You could tell me that we're taking a baby giraffe home, and I would not care. Hearing the utilitarian, hay-choked burble of a repurposed Club Car was enough to make me happy for the rest of the day. That and ice cream, of course. When I needed some extra spending money, this memory brought me back to the zoo. Also, their new "get paid cash under the table if you're not a snitch" employment policy, enacted since the last director got caught trying to flog excess gorillas on eBay.
I would like to say that the interview went well, but that's not really my task to judge. We talked for awhile about my basic proficiency with shovels (good,) rakes (adequate,) spades (poor,) and trowels (borderline) and about my availability (slutty, but not for free.) Then it was time for them to evaluate how I handled myself around an internal-combustion engine. Safety is paramount at the zoo: with all those kids around, accidentally backing over one of them while trying to rip a fat skid on the Gator 6x6 would look bad in the papers. Luckily for them, safety is my middle name.
You can imagine that it was a big surprise to me that I not only did not get the job, but that a nice process server arrived to give me a restraining order. In my defence, I figured that it would be a bit "out there" to jump a hedge, and thought twice about it. Ultimately, though, I had to show I was management material by demonstrating how quickly I can get the job done. Cost optimization is the only way that they would ever give me the keys to the really nice, bossman-only, ultra-luxe long-wheelbase EZGO for driving VIPs around. I hear it's got a turbo, all the better for outrunning those pesky investigative journalists and their pro-gorilla bias.
3. He didn't come to Penacony w me🥺he could have prevented me from getting kidnapped and bullied by aventurine 😢i'm sure he could have outrun those bloodhound guys, his base speed is like 110 he's turbo
5. His fansong <33333 长梦应觉
originally uploaded on bilibili by 星穹下的律音
15. I like him in a lot of ships.... the major one would be hengren but I can ship him with almost anyone (except characters I hate) as long as the author shows me how they got there...
16. except dancae... caelus does not exist to me i refuse to acknowledge his existence
21. I love writing dan heng internal monologue he's so funny to write. However. writing dan heng dialogue sucks ass. dan hemg i wuv you but it's so hard to make you speak
While Jetskills use jet skis as the main material for their bodies, they are also outfitted with wheels and propellers as their hands and feet. They are capable of folding themselves up to better suit whichever environment they're in: Either they'll move across the water, looking strikingly similar to a normal jet ski set adrift, or take on a more humanoid look when they're on the shore. In any case, they are undoubtedly a threat both on land and sea.
Their speed is incredible. Jet skis themselves can already go anywhere between 64-113km/h (40-70mph), and these monsters maintain that speed on the water. On land, while they can't move quite as fast, being on wheels allows them to essentially rollerblade around. The only way to outrun them is with a vehicle, and even then, they have a high stamina and are able to keep up the chase for a long while.
Their inspiration likely came from fusion spawns observing the recreational activities of people in Orchid Bay/Bravo Beach. The fact that they would watch jet skis on the water is a given, but there is also their close proximity to the Cutts and Bruises Skate Park--likely where they picked up their rollerblading trait. This is also likely why their behavior is more mechanical than other fusion monsters, as they are inspired more by an action than a living being. Despite this, they can exhibit shark-like traits as well, such as, when in the water, bumping into their targets before dealing a far more devastating attack.
Due to their larger size and metal bodies, getting rammed by one of these monsters can do plenty enough damage on its own. Their propeller hands, however, are what you really want to watch out for. Concept art shows that they can fire them out from their arms with a cord that can then be drawn back. This allows them to attack both at long and short range. On the bright side, when they do fire their propellers, this offers brief opportunities to easily disarm them by cutting the cords before they can be retracted.
The mission "A Fusion in Our Midst (Part 3 of 4)" notes that their motors are extremely loud, meaning that it is very difficult for these monsters to sneak up on you. However, the same cannot be as easily said in-reverse. The noise they generate can even drown themselves out. Moreover--again, like sharks--while they have great peripheral vision, it's difficult for them to see things that are directly in front or behind them. As such, one basic strategy when dealing with the Jetskills is to attack from behind. You can either go straight for their less armored torsos or scale up their backs to the seat from the jet ski and attack from above--just be prepared for a rough ride.
The higher evolved Turbo Jetskills are noted to be faster, stronger, and "with strict orders to stop you in your tracks." Given this description and how they overrun the direct path across the coast, one of their main roles seems to be blocking the flow of travel from Orchid Bay to Bravo Beach. This has resulted in the loss of shipments and some fusion fighters getting stranded between the two points.
Remember yall: it's never not a good day to listen to Daft Punk, here's some of the more obscure tracks and albums you may not have heard from them. (or at least one of them are involved in production)
Daft Club Album
Infinity Repeating
Tron Legacy Soundtrack
The New Wave and Assault
Thomas Bangalter - Roule / Trax on Da Rocks volumes 1 and 2 Album (personal favorites are Club Soda and Outrun)
Pharrell Williams - Gust of Wind Ft. Daft Punk
Computerized Ft. Jay-Z
Drive Unreleased 1994
DJ Falcon and Thomas Bangalter - Together
Thomas Bangalter - Irreversible soundtrack
Thomas Bangalter Live @ WE (10/9/1999)
Guy-Homem De Cristo - Le Knight Club / Crydamoure
Thomas Bangalter - Turbo EP
Thomas Bangalter - Mythologies (not anything like what daft punk made, very classical and melodic)
Thomas Bangalter - What To Do and Sangria (Climax soundtrack)
133 fout la merde (Ft. Thomas Bangalter)
Thomas Bangalter Live @ Europe 2 (Da Maxx)
DJ Mehdi - Signatune
Cassius & Thomas Bangalter @ Respect is Burning (2002)
Sega's catalog of racing games is impressive, but for those looking for truly exceptional titles, the following entries stand out among the rest.
Racing games are one of the oldest video game genres around, thrilling gamers since Magnavox Odyssey owners gave Wipeout (not that one) a go. Nearly every developer around the world has given racing games a try, with some getting more success than others. Mario Kart has sold a lot of units for Nintendo, and Gran Turismo became the biggest-selling game on Sony’s PS1.
However, it’s hard to think of a company that likes racing games more than Sega. They ruled the arcades directly with a wide range of titles that would go on to become classics in the genre. But which ones are Sega’s best racing games?
NOTE
These entries are not solely ranked by their Metascore, as this isn't always the best metric. Instead, the games listed here are ranked by their gameplay, features, thrills, and their impact on the genre, with Metascore just one aspect of their rating.
10
Sega GT 2002
Metascore: 82
Developer: Wow Entertainment.
Platform: Xbox.
Released: September 2002.
The original Sega GT was meant to be the Dreamcast’s answer to Gran Turismo, and it was a good game. But it wasn’t quite the big hit Sega was looking for, selling modestly on an already modest console. Luckily, the series continued after the Dreamcast’s demise with Sega GT 2002. It was bigger, flashier, and gave players 160+ cars to work with.
The game came with an interesting range of modes, from a Gran Turismo-like Career Mode to a Chronicle Mode where players could race and tweak vintage cars from the 1960s onward. They could even earn extra cash by completing extra objectives during the race. The biggest cash prize came from getting through a race unscathed, so it favored smooth racing over stock car-like body contact.
9
Super Hang-On
Metascore: 76
Developer: Sega AM-2.
Platforms: Arcade, Genesis, Game Boy Advance, Amiga, Atari ST, ZX Spectrum, Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64, Sharp X68000, Nintendo 3DS, PS4.
Released: April 1987.
Picking out the best of Sega’s 1980s racing output is tricky. Power Drift brought the action up close with its zoomed-in, swaying camera. Enduro Racer had wheelies and logs to jump over. Then there was the almighty OutRun, a tricky game where players had to master the driving mechanics to reach one of its five goals within its tight time limits.
Still, as popular as they were, the biker racer Super Hang-On deserves kudos. It brought on more tracks and a turbo function to out-race the competition. Players could even choose their own music track like in OutRun. But it could get just as challenging depending on which course the player chose too. The Africa course is simple enough at 6 stages, but Europe offers a whopping 18 stages to race through.
Sega was arguably the first company to make a pseudo-3D racing game with 1976’s Road Race. But when it came to actual polygonal 3D, they were beaten out by Namco’s underrated Winning Run and Atari’s stunt-filled Hard Drivin’. Yet they’re not as fondly remembered as Sega’s Virtua Racing.
It ran much faster than Hard Drivin’, looked more vibrant than Winning Run, and offered the player more bang for their buck. Players could pick multiple views over its forebears' first-person-only angle and featured 3D human NPCs during its pit sequences. VR may not have been the first 3D racer, but it was the best for its time and was certainly the most influential for the genre.
7
Scud Race
GameFAQs Score: 3.93/5 Stars
Developer: Sega AM-2.
Platforms: Arcade.
Released: 1996.
After the success of Sega’s Daytona USA, people at the company expected developers AM-2 to make Daytona USA 2 next. They would eventually make a sequel in 1998, but they wanted to mix things up for 1996. So, they made the similar but different Scud Race (aka Sega Super GT). It replaced Daytona’s stock cars with GT supercars and used the snazzy new Model 3 Step 1.5 hardware over Daytona's Model 2 tech.
While many of its elements still resembled Daytona, like the HUD and select screen, the gameplay was new. It introduced the ability to accelerate while drifting, giving players the edge over other racers if they could master it (and fishtails if they couldn't). It made for thrilling races, but it would ultimately be limited to the arcades as its Dreamcast port would get canceled.
6
Sega Rally Championship
Metacritic User Score: 8.2
Platform(s): Arcade , Sega Saturn , PC , Game Boy Advance , PS2
Released: October 11, 1994
Developer(s): Sega-AM3
Genre(s): Racing
Only a relatively small group of lucky arcade players really knew about Scud Race back in the day, but everyone practically heard about Sega Rally Championship. It may have only had 3 cars and 4 tracks, yet it gave players a new experience by replicating rally-style racing. For example, winning a race relied more on overtaking cars and staying within the time limit than constantly aiming for first place.
It certainly helps, but even if the player didn’t come in first on a track, their consistency could earn them enough points to win. The game was also more in-depth on how different surfaces affected the car’s handling. They could keep their grip on asphalt, then slip more on grass, then even more in mud. As simple as it sounds, it was enough to inspire other developers to make their own rally games and inspire players to get the game on the Saturn and PC.
5
F-Zero GX
Metascore: 89
Platform(s): GameCube
Released: August 25, 2003
Developer(s): Amusement Vision
Genre(s): Racing
Sega making an entry in a Nintendo game is mind-blowing to look back on. It's just as surprising to learn it was specifically made by Amusement Vision, who’d later make the Yakuza/Like A Dragon series and become better known as RGG Studio. Y/LAD creator Toshihiro Nagoshi also produced many of Sega’s classic racers, like Daytona USA and Scud Race, alongside design work for Virtua Racing.
In short, odd as it seems, Nintendo knew they'd do great work with F-Zero GX. It lived up to the wild speed previous F-Zero games reached but with improved visuals, more tracks, and an infamous story mode that really ramped up the challenge. Canny players could even use Gameshark/Action Replay to access hidden tracks from its arcade equivalent, F-Zero AX, and get even more hours of ultra-speed racing.
4
Daytona USA 2: Battle on the Edge
GameFAQs Score: 4.27/5 Stars
Developer: Sega AM-2.
Platforms: Arcade (original), PS4, PS5, Xbox Series X/S, PC ( Like A Dragon: Gaiden ).
Released: June 1998.
As groundbreaking as Virtua Racing was, Daytona USA was a vast improvement in graphics and gameplay. It had more cars, more impressive tracks, and adaptive AI that tailored itself towards the player’s skill level. So, it’s no wonder Sega would port and remake it multiple times, with the Saturn alone having 2 versions of the game. However, its sequel, Daytona USA 2: Battle on the Edge, would never leave the arcades.
The only way to play it at home is to get Like a Dragon Gaiden and find it under the new, non-license-infringing title, Sega Racing Classic 2,at the arcades. It has new drifting techniques like the ‘slingshot’, and extra modes like Grand Prix and Endurance. With much more on offer, it’s surprising that Sega never gave it a chance outside the arcades.
3
Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed
Metascore: 82
Platform(s): PS3 , PS Vita , Xbox 360 , Wii U , 3DS , PC , Android , iOS
Released: November 20, 2012
Developer(s): Sumo Digital
Genre(s): Racing
Technically, Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed wasn’t made directly by Sega. Both it and its predecessor, Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing, were made by Sumo Digital, who previously made OutRun 2006: Coast 2 Coast for the company, and recently made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre game. Sega just published the game for its various platforms.
Still, it’s chock-full of references to classic Sega games, right down to its soundtrack, which is full of remixes of old-school tunes. The Transform mechanic also spiced things up beyond its ‘Sega Kart’ roots. At certain points on the track, the player's car will transform into a boat or aircraft to travel on water or in the air, complete with new physics and mechanics to work with. It’s an inventive game that could do with a modern re-release.
2
F355 Challenge
Metascore: 85
Developer: Sega AM-2.
Platforms: Arcade, Dreamcast, PS2.
Released: July 1999.
Sega has had a thing for Ferraris since OutRun used a Ferrari Testarossa Spider. It certainly was the start of their willingness to use actual motor licenses, from the different cars in games to the Daytona 500 NASCAR race itself. It culminated in F355 Challenge, a game that showcased producer/director Yu Suzuki’s love for the brand so much he (allegedly) raced his own Ferrari on tracks for data collection.
It also shows how closely he and AM2 replicated the F355. For 1999, it was the most realistic depiction of the car and what it’s like to race it on circuits. Combined with its use of real racing tracks, and the same real-time ‘Magic Weather’ system as Shenmue, it gave players an authentic racing experience come rain or shine, both in the arcades and at home.
1
OutRun 2
Metascore: 79
Developer: Sega AM-2 (Arcade), Sumo Digital (Xbox).
Platforms: Arcade, Xbox.
Released: December 2003.
The original OutRun inspired a host of follow-ups. Some of which are just as fondly remembered, like OutRunners. Yet there was only one game that got the distinction of being OutRun’s official sequel, and it came out 17 years later, in 2003. OutRun 2 is arguably the best entry in the series too, with some preferring its souped-up re-release OutRun 2006: Coast 2 Coast.
O2006 had more cars and more modes, including its exclusive ‘Coast 2 Coast’ Mode. But O2 had Heart Attack mode, where performing select stunts during courses earns the player heart points. O2’s journey home via the Xbox also had better controls than O2006's home releases. It also came with tracks from Scud Race and Daytona USA 2. Players who missed out on those underrated gems could finally give them a swing via O2.
Beat em ups:
Alien vs. Predator
Armored Warriors
Finale fight
Volince fight
Teenage mutant Ninja turtles: turtles in time
The Punisher
Dungeons and Dragons: Shadow Over Mystara
Battle Circuit
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs
Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder
The Simpsons
X-Men
Night slayers
Gauntlet Legends
Guantlet Dark Legacy
Golden Axe
Fighting:
Killer Instinct 1&2
Marvel Super Heroes
Marvel Vs. Capcom 1&2
Mortal Kombat 1-3
Samurai Shodown
Super Street Fighter II: Turbo
The King of Fighters 2000
Virtua Fighter 1&2
X-Men Vs. Street Fighter
Red Earth
Dark Stalkers
Soul Blade/edge
Soul caliber
The Last Blade
Street Fighter Alpha 3
Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core
Monster Maulers
Primal rage
X-Men: Children of the Atom
Light Gun:
Rail chase
House of the dead 1-3
Virtual cop
CarnEvil
Jurassic park: the lost world
Point Blank
Crypt Killer
Alien 3: The Gun
The Ocean Hunter
Time Crisis 1&2
Beast Busters
Jurassic Park
Platformers:
Bubble Bobble
Magic Sword
Donkey Kong
Donkey kong jr
Mario Bros
vs Ballon fight
vs super mario bros
Strider
Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa
Dig Dug
Congo bongo
Joust
Q bert
Frogger
Racing:
Cruis'n Blast
Cruis'n Usa
F zero Ax
Daytona USA 1&2
Super hang on
Out run
Out runners
Virtua Racing
Star Wars Episode 1: Racer
Crazy Taxi
Sega Rally Championship 1&2
Hydro Thunder
Mario Kart Arcade GP 1&2
Alpine Racer
outrun 2(2006)
Manx TT Super Bike
Aqua jet
Shoot em ups:
Centipede
Millipede
Galaga
In The Hunt
Space Harrier
Defender
Moon patrol
Zero wing
Robotron: 2084
Sinistar
Star Wars Trilogy Arcade
Asteroids
Run and gun:
Metal slug(series)
Sunset riders
Mystic Warriors
Mercs
Nitro Ball
Shock Troopers
Smash T.V.
Berzerk
Frenzy
once again being able to identify some but not all of the contributing factors to my mental health deciding to be turbo awful for the span of the past 24 hours Does Not Mean I can then outsmart or outrun said turbo awful mood or present myself with other solutions! huh!! when will I learn!
One of a very select few hardtop convertibles in the game, the Carbonizzare was an extremely comfy daily driver. It really made me miss that short-lived glitch that allowed you to freeze-frame emotes in cars, throwing your hands up in the air like a good game of OutRun.
It took me a long time to truly appreciate the 9F Cabrio. I owned one very early on and sold it, not knowing much about it besides the novelty of it having a nonexistent model for its engine, but later in life I came to appreciate the first-generation real-life R8 and gave it another shot in my quest for more convertibles, and only then did it reveal its secrets to me. Quick acceleration, a charming engine note, and snappy handling with AWD as a safety net made it a joy to drive and a staple of my daily rotation for months.
The Surano was my first entry into small two-seater sports convertibles. I really wanted to try a soft top, but having unusable back seats bugged the hell out of me at the time, so the Surano fit the bill. It did its job well, but I eventually moved on to bigger and better cars.
I'm not much of a Bimmer guy, but my love for comfy two-door cars brought me to the wheel of a Zion Cabrio very late in my tenure. It didn't really "wow" me in any way, but at the same time, that was exactly what I was asking of it, and it delivered.
Now this majestic beast has some history. The Windsor Drop was one of my favorite cars from beginning to end. Being a four-door convertible made it tons of fun to bring friends, and I use that metaphor specifically because that's how it felt to drive. It was a huge luxury car that actually handled like a true land barge, with a bold but understated growl and handling that insisted you make reservations, yet never leaving you wanting for speed or power. This car really was the life of the party.
Did it bother anyone else that we got so many different flavors of Mustang, yet not one of them was a Fox? At least I was able to cope with a Mach 1 in the form of the Dominator GTT. This thing was a boomer cruiser through and through that I felt right at home bringing to missions with all the kids in their flashy import boxes.
In another universe, I feel like I would have fallen in love with the Deviant. It's got all the ingredients of a badass muscle car, and I'm not averse to restomods, but by the time it was released, my heart already belonged to other vehicles. If it had been released earlier, or starred in another game, we would have made beautiful music together.
The Duke O'Death is another old car that was catapulted to relevance when the Age of Missile Spam began. At first it was a niche vehicle exclusive to players who had started on PS360, but it was eventually made free for all players, and its explosive resistance was a lifesaver once everybody and their brother had homing missiles in their back pocket. It also helped that the Duke was extremely heavy and bullied its way through traffic easily, making it less susceptible to getting sideswiped by errant NPCs. It was a genuinely cool and balanced car that harkens back to a time when the game's vehicles were made with a little more care.
My best friend drove a Sabre Turbo Custom religiously, so when the F1 wheel glitches started appearing, I thought it was high time I got one of my own. This one in particular has a unique crew color on a velvety worn paint finish, which was grandfathered from an NPC-modified Sabre Turbo that rarely spawned with unobtainable paint. It proved to be great fun to go cruising together, and the lowrider hydraulics worked in tandem with the taller tires by allowing the car to tilt forward for a dragster look.
It may have been easy to mistake this for just another muscle car, but this was actually a Future Shock Imperator with all the trappings of an Arena War vehicle. Its immense power gave it high speed and terrible handling on paper, but well-timed use of shunt boost made it able to take 90-degree turns at full speed and make long jumps over hazards. Arena vehicles were some of my favorite cars to drive because they almost turned the game into a platformer with how differently they encouraged you to see the game world.
Yknow, I often say “I’ve played a LOT of racing games these past few years!” but never actually bothered to check the numbers. I do literally have a list of (nearly) all games I’ve played since 2021 so let’s check that out!
- Grand Theft Auto V (car game it counts)
- art of rally
- Racing Lagoon (fuck, that was 2021???)
- Horizon Chase Turbo
- Forza Horizon 5
- The Simpsons: Road Rage
- Everywhere Road Trip
- Mario Kart 64
- Gran Turismo
- L.A. Noire (does that count? not really that much of a car game... then again it’s a car CHASE game so...)
- Lonely Mountains Downhill (does THAT count??? oh I never said it needed to be cars.)
- Enduro
- Choro-Q (HG4)
- Cars
- Forza Horizon 4
- The Pointless Car Chase
- Slipstream
- Ridge Racers 2
- Far Cry 5 (doesn’t count because cars really are just a transportation method more than a core mechanic imo like even when ur doing important stuff in the car its stuff youd be doing outside the car anyway. but I’m mentioning so that you all know that when you use the handbrake there’s a fucking animation for it. your guy moves their hand to the handbrake and it makes a handbrake lever noise. I don’t think even forza does that)
- Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam
- Test Drive Unlimited
- Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero
- Tokyo Xtreme Racer Drift 2
- Need for Speed Heat
- auto modellista
- R4 Ridge Racer Type 4
- Need for Speed Underground 2
- Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
- Hot Wheels Unleashed
- F355 Challenge
- Grand Theft Auto San Andreas
- Street Supremacy
- Assetto Corsa
- Turbo Dismount (?)
- Need for Speed Porsche Unleashed
- Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
- Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed
- Enthusia Professional Racing
- Gran Turismo 2
- Absolute Drift
- The Long Drive
- Inertial Drift
- Ridge Racer
- Initial D Special Stage
- OutRun 2 SP
- Midnight Club 3
- Gran Turismo (PSP)
- Circuit Superstars
excluding Far Cry 5, that’s 47 games. that’s not even including some stuff I played in 2020 that isn’t here. that’s not even including Gadget Racers, which for some reason wasn’t listed. what on earth is wrong with me