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#Twig’s hobbies include: work; work; work; and work
sincerely-sofie · 4 months
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twig is honestly so cool. shoutout to the miserable fire lizard who i would absolutely give all my money to. im gonna take her to an amusement park and make her experience some joy and whimsy in her life
Currently editing a chapter starring the world's most miserable Twig ever and I am begging you to take this depressed piece of soggy bread on a whimsical outing. She needs it so badly. She needs it so very very badly.
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Don’t give her your money though. She’s kinda disgustingly rich and it’s honestly a little upsetting how wealthy she is.
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tanetime · 1 year
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Finally got around to updating these ref sheets.
This is Wyneer, my main DST mod chara! (Pronounced Win-EER.)
He's an actor seeking a purpose in his life. Considering himself talentless, he gains perks and abilities by crafting and wearing masks and acting out the personality the mask portrays. He'll call them "characters" if you ask, but in the Constant, nothing is that simple...
His hobbies include eating all of the sweet foods in the base and creeping people out by standing idly while staring into space.
I'll post more about the masks themselves when I finish their art.
More info about his backstory and his mod under the cut.
Seeking Talent
A soft-spoken, eccentric man with a flair for the dramatic, Wyneer Elliott-Llewellyn is a Shakespearean actor desperately seeking a purpose in life. As his aimlessness led him to believe his life thus far had been wasted, he began to dream of starting anew as somebody else, fashioning masks to wear in private to bring his ailing mind relief. His desperation to escape his life led him to making a deal with a mysterious voice that called to him from his radio one day, claiming to know what his purpose was... That deal brought him to the Constant and has left him trapped there ever since. The deal also led to the creepy mask he wears being stuck to his face, but he doesn’t really mind.
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Perks and Quirks:
Crafts his own masks
Skilled at method acting - Wyneer changes his perks depending on the mask worn
Has an erratic body and mind - Wyneer's stats change depending on the mask worn
Sensitive to fire and water - Wyneer takes extra damage from fire. Being above 80% wetness causes periodic damage. Being near open flames or being in the rain makes Wyneer nervous, causing his sanity to drain.
By default, Wyneer has no beneficial unique attributes or abilities. He instead temporarily gains perks and quirks depending on which of his masks he is currently wearing. Wearing a mask changes his appearance and dialogue.
He enters the Constant with several sheets of papyrus and some rope, and already knows how to craft these items.
Masks:
Wyneer's masks have a lot of effects. These descriptions are simplified for the sake of brevity.
Blank Mask (papyrus + rope) Does nothing and cannot be worn. Used to create masks.
Fright n Flight Mask (blank mask + nightmare fuel + sanity points) Induces insanity and greatly boosts movement speed, at the cost of greatly reducing attack power.
Laborious Mask (blank mask + grass + twigs) Lowers Wyneer’s max hunger stat and causes him to become hungry much faster. The fuller Wyneer’s hunger meter is, the faster he is at work-related tasks.
Brave Face (blank mask + flint + marble) Armour that lowers Wyneer’s max health in exchange for higher base damage. The closer to death Wyneer is, the stronger and more resistant to insanity he becomes.
About Face (blank mask + gold + bone shards) Armour that functions as a one-man band when sanity is above 50%. When below, Wyneer is regarded as a ‘monster’ by neutral mobs. Having followers or taking damage lowers sanity, but landing a killing blow on an enemy raises it.
Azure Mask (blank mask + blue gems + azure feathers) Makes Wyneer near-immune to freezing, but causes him to radiate extreme cold. This causes Wyneer to overheat faster and worsens his pyrophobia. Enemies that attack Wyneer are frozen.
Crimson Mask (blank mask + red gems + crimson feathers) Makes Wyneer near-immune to overheating, but causes him to radiate extreme heat. This causes Wyneer to freeze faster and worsens his aquaphobia. Enemies that attack Wyneer are sometimes set on fire.
Jet Black Mask (blank mask + purple gems + jet feathers) Raises Wyneer’s max sanity. Wyneer does less damage with normal weapons, but his proficiency with shadow weapons increases with his current sanity. Wyneer can spend sanity to put enemies to sleep.
Saffron Mask (blank mask + yellow gems + saffron feathers) Radiates light and boosts movement speed. Wyneer does less damage, but all damage he does is electrified. Enemies that attack Wyneer are shocked with electricity.
Nightmare Face (blank mask + thulecite + thulecite medallion) Combines the effects of thulecite medallion/crown/armour/etc. and gives off light depending on the current nightmare cycle. On the surface, it tracks his sanity instead.
Radiant Face (blank mask + moon rock + moon glass) A protective and durable piece of armour that changes appearance based on the moon's phase. As the moon rock coating disappears, it becomes less protective, but begins to draw on the moon's power to hone its attacking prowess. In the caves, it does not change.
That's all! There's a lot of nuance to do with how his masks actually function in the game since I balance him quite rigorously, but that's better left to talking about the masks individually hahaha. Hope someone out there enjoys my brainworms.
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panzershrike-pretz · 3 months
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top five ocs :3
Lou you like to make me suffer???? It would be easier if this was like. A top 50 ocs 😭😭😭 i can't possibly choose only 5 🥲👍 (i'm lying)
Since I have Too Many Characters(TM), I'll narrow it down to choose between the 92 (oof) that already have ther ref sheets drawn :] and this is in no particular order, it's just numbered to look pretty,,,
1. Pangea Coldwell
She's a fairly recent character I created back in 2022. She's Peggy's handler, and a second world war medic (i was in my biggest WWII era at the time). She's a gentle and kind woman, with a big heart but almost no patience at all; usually seen as smart by her peers and fast-to-act, despite whatever's in he way.
Despite her interest in medicine, she's extremely fond of ice-skating, acting, singing and reading - some of her favorite hobbies that don't include her insane dog.
Her power is that of future-sighting, though it's not nowhere near as strong as Horace's. She sees only bits and pieces based on probability, normally of the immediate future (at most, she sees only a few hours ahead, while Horace can see years in advance).
2. Peggy
The absolute sensation. My baby. THE stupidest thing to ever walk this planet. Precious bean. The devil's child, born to put everything in her mouth (and hopefully eat it before dying). The one and only:
Peggy, the Belgian Mallinois is a medical-rescue war dog owned by Pangea. Don't worry, she's dumb even while at work. She has a magical shield against projectiles, so she's a walking barrier (RIP for everyone who tries to hit her with a shoe while she howls and barks)
Things that she eated included (but are not limited to): frogs, fish, insects, rocks, shoes, bones she found where bones shouldn't be, twigs, a dead starfish, baby turtle, tried to eat a crab but failled, a hat, her own leash at least 3 timess, wood, alcoholic beverages (she's fiiiiiine), a mushroom, triessd to eat a snake, etc.
3. Constance Ezebel
The Goddess of Oceans and Curses. I consider her to be one of the strongest Gods among my characters; she's as ancient as water.
Since she was cursed to stay stuck on a Loop in Tortuga, unable to be free at sea again, she takes her anger in those who choose the waters to be their homes. She controls floods and storms, but also when fishing is good and the seas are calm. The fate of all who chose the sea lie within her hands - and those of her se monsters and creatures, who do her biding.
She's a fucking bitch who never does anything for free and usually only accepts stuff if it's paid with a soul or sacrifice,,, she also throws the best parties so she's forgiven :3 and she's half goat so she's cool
4. Stiggy the Stygimoloch
He was just a joke I turned real. He's extremely OP (the indistructable, extremely agresssives and immortal little dinosaur. Who is VERY little and VERY angry) that I turned canon because I love him so much xD
His first appearance was back in 2019 (you see, he's OLD). His backstory is that all the anger in the universe fuels him and he was created by the Gods as a weapon or something. Anyway the only person who he listens to is Miss Kestrel
He's my fave joke character and i'm very glad I made him canon (even if he lives in a forest in the middle of nowhere without ever being interacted with xD)
5. Athena Crow
Death and Freedom Goddess! One of my mains like Pangea and Peggy! Blithe's iresponsible First Mate and Constance's biggest pain in the ass (Athena cursed her to be forever stuck on land and Constance cursed Athena to forever roam the seas. They are bestfriends but also hate each other's guts)
I have SO MANY thoughts about this woman it's unreal,,,,, I love how much of an annoyance she is in general. Alway here to make a fool of herself and have people questioning why the fuck they follow her
Form this I discovered that: of my favorites the only one who is not a complete and utter imbecile is Pangea. Good for her 🤡👍
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spidergutz-writes · 1 year
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@strawberryscentedknife ⬅️ this blog writes for mha so well! You should totally check them out!!!!!
REQUESTS: OPEN
ASKS: OPEN
HOW MANY REQUESTS DO I HAVE?: 4
Welcome to my side/writing blog!
this blog is where I will be writing my fanfics, imagines, head cannons, and more!
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FANDOMS I WRITE FOR
My hero academia!
Tokyo ghoul!
any slashers! (Except for Freddy Kruger and penny wise)
MW2 JHONNY ‘SOAP’ , SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY, KÖNIG, AND CAPTION JOHN PRICE, ALEJANDRO, RUDY, AND MAKAROV.
Demon slayer!
naruto characters!
DHMIS
payday2 but only for, CLOAKER, AND TASER
apex legends!
creepypasta!
as I write more, I will add more fandoms!
don’t be afraid to ask for characters outside of these set fandoms! I might do them!
although if I don’t, please understand that I will have my reasons, wether it be :
I don’t know how to write for the character
I don’t feel comfortable writing for them
Or I simply don’t feel up to do your request (rare, but is liable to happen, please understand)
DNI IF YOU ARE
Under the age of 16
a TERF
homophobic, or transphobic
If you support beastal!ty get tf out of here
there will probably be more that I’ll add on here, but for now that’s it.
please understand and respect my boundaries as I don’t feel comfortable having anyone under the age of 16 reading my things.
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THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT ME: I have hypersomnia, which basically means I’m always tired, and it’s borderline narcolepsy for me at this point, sometimes I have what I like to call “sleep episodes” where I sleep 24/7, likely for a couple of days or a week or two. Please be paitent with me as I can’t control it.
THINGS I WILL WRITE
Gore! :>
NSFW
SFW
headcannons!
Drabbles!
matchups!
angst!!!
Platonic relationships!
———
matchups will need to include:
the fandom you want.
what gender you want.
lil ol facts about you.
small description of yourself.
your personality, hobbies, wants and needs in life.
———
things I will NOT write
pregnancy/parenting
incest
pedoph|L|a
suicide (I’ll write mentions of suicide, but not the actual action of it happening)
R@pe (NCN is okay with me to a VERY strict extent)
Sexual aššault
Oc x Ooc (sorry, I just can’t ever see myself writing for someone else’s OC)
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harsh kinks like:
piss
scat
any other kink that involves bodily fluids that don’t involve, cum or spit, or blood
———
things I will consider writing:
mentions of ræpe (I.E flashback/mentions of it happening in the past, or if goes well along with any type of specific gore, I might do it)
step siblings stuff
food fetish that only include: candy, whipped cream, or chocolate syrup. Anything else is a hard NO
drunk sex
———
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT BE COMPLETELY VAUGE WITH YOUR REQUESTS, I NEED SOME SORT OF FOUNDATION TO WORK WITH. I CANT MAKE A CASTLE WITH A BUNCH OF TWIGS. IM NOT MAGIC, THEREFORE, I CONNOT READ YOUR MIND.
:> —————————
I will update this from time to time, so be sure to check often!
if you don’t follow my boundaries and such, and send in an ask, I’ll understand, but i will ask that you read this.
if it happens a second time I’m deleting your ask all together, and blocking you if it happens a third time.
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lycomorpha · 2 years
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Picked out which pieces to include on the silver birch page of Eivor's herbarium... All the twigs pressed rly well but they don't all fit on there! Above are screen caps from Grantebridgescire (Cambridgeshire in the modern day) and a birch trunk I saw IRL that had similar bracket fungi growing on it to the kind we see in game.
Gonna try to video attaching these plants to the page with gummed linen strips. It'll be a bit finicky with the bark though. Will use some archival adhesive to stick down the seeds directly on the page... Eivor might have used sth like rabbit skin glue though, which you can still buy or make - but I'm vegetarian sooo nope lol.
Separated some of the bark layers to show how many there are. I had to trim the thicker, licheny ends of the bark, so that they won't damage the pages above when the book is pressed shut.
Also tried out writing on it - I've never used birch paper before but it worked pretty well!
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There are so many plants in this game that I recognise, and that have interesting historical uses, but I won't be able to collect. Might have to think of some excuse to draw them. Maybe a zine? I could shamelessly include plants and fungi from places in games that I'll never get to see IRL or species that aren't suitable for pressing if I made a general video game botany zine 🤔
OR... maybe my video game botany habit is getting out of hand, lol. Everyone needs a hobby though, right?? 😳
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dogmomwrites · 7 months
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15 Questions, oc edition
This tag came a while ago from @autumnalwalker, so thanks for including me in this game!
Passing it on with soft tags to @pixelw0rds, @eponymoussquared, @indecentpause, @songsofsomnia, and @writernopal, as well as leaving it an open tag! Rules—just answer the questions in bold for one of your OCs and tag however many people as you’d like to. Empty template is under the cut
These answers are for Arial of my Castle series
Are you named after anyone?  My grandmother. My parents didn’t want to just take her name though, so they changed it a little. My gran’s name was Ariadne 
When was the last time you cried?  A couple days ago, but I had good reason to!  (author’s note: she watched a baby bird learning to fly) 
Do you have kids?  Oh gosh, no! I’m only eighteen! ...but I kinda want a couple when I’m older. Maybe two or three? 
Do you use sarcasm a lot?  Not as often as some people I know 
What’s the first thing you notice about people?  Um, that kinda depends on the situation 
What’s your eye color?  Brown. Or black. Hold on, my interviewer has to go check the document...they’re brown 
Scary movies or happy endings?  Happy endings all the way! Scary movies are, well...scary. And I don’t much like being scared 
Any special talents?  Not really. I can bake a few different things, and everyone says I’m really good at it 
Where were you born?  In the Infirmary in Telenar 
What are your hobbies?  I like making crafts; my mom taught me how to do a lot with just flowers, rope, and a few twigs, and we get bones, claws, feathers, antlers, hooves, and scraps of hide from the hunters and butchers. My favorite to work with are crystals though! 
Have you any pets?  I have three birds! A baby blue budgie named Pretty Boy, a green and yellow budgie named Sunny, and Pebble, a crow I sneaked into the house when it was young and actually got to keep 
What sports do you play/have played?  I was never very sporty, but I played kickball and netball when I was younger. I’m better at small golf, which figures because I think it’s kinda boring 
How tall are you?  Five foot, one inch (155cm) 
Favorite subject in school?  When we were younger, we had arts and crafts classes—those were always fun! 
Dream job?  I haven’t thought that far ahead...there’s so many options, how do I choose? Where do I even start? I like making my crafts, but I always thought it would be really neat to be an explorer, but I also really like tending to gardens and animals, but I always wanted to do something that would get me an invitation to the annual ball, but I always wanted to be a member of a guild or something because that would just be neat, I think, but—
empty template
Are you named after anyone? 
When was the last time you cried? 
Do you have kids? 
Do you use sarcasm a lot? 
What’s the first thing you notice about people? 
What’s your eye color? 
Scary movies or happy endings? 
Any special talents? 
Where were you born? 
What are your hobbies? 
Have you any pets? 
What sports do you play/have played? 
How tall are you? 
Favorite subject in school? 
Dream job?
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asagao-4 · 2 years
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I hope you all enjoy this story I wrote on this prompt, I don't recall proof reading it if you have any advice of suggestions I will happily except them.
The prompt I was given: You are blind folded and being led through some woods. Describe what you can hear, smell and taste.
The wind is cold around me, the sound of trees rustling in the wind surrounding me along with some bird chirping and the occasional claw of crows. The smell of pine fills my nose, it's cool but not cold and dry. The ground solid underneath my feet, dirt, gravel, moss, Which is it? There's a clear sound of crunch in my step but it's also flat plain every few steps. We've been walking for a while now for at least fifteen or more minutes.
"Ian, where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see Samuel" he responded to me as he crept behind me putting both his hands firmly on my shoulders edging me forward at a faster pace than before.
His grip is tight. It kinda hurts, but why would he take me out here? It's sunset and I've never been here before or even heard him mention it before. It's eerily odd because he always talks about all the places he's been to and this doesn't sit right with me. Kim did say that he was off from the start and that she heard he had some odd hobbies, maybe going to the woods to get some fresh air was one of them. After all he loved to draw, he's always sketching landscapes and places he's been to or seen. That would explain why he brought a backpack of his own with him and told me to grab some things of my own including a notebook and sketchbook. He was taking me to draw, right? I can hear the stuff in his bag move around every few steps. Pencils, paper, his thermas, and some unknown items. I can't quite tell what he has on him entirely, but I mostly can hear the rattle of pencils and paper rubbing together with some unknown clanking there. There's the sound of the water in his themas splashing.
We kept the same pace for what felt like forever how much time had gone by all I know is that it was quite a bit and it was getting excessive. The path seems to be fading, aren't we gonna stop somewhere? He didn't say anything about this place before did he? His right hand leaves my shoulder, then there's a click. I recognize it's his pocket compass. I've always wondered why he had it all the time he dodged it every time I'd ask about it or his watch. The wind picked back up for a minute, causing my hair to sway more than usual. it didn't make it any better that he proceeded to go even faster taking a sudden sharp left turn. Twigs snapped under my feet and brush surrounded them too, like I was stepping in a bush. Did we leave the path, what's happening? By now the few birds from earlier are now completely silent.
"Did we le-" I started
"Have I told you about how much I love mushrooms Samuel" he introjected. He doesn't normally do that, but things have had a few changes since we've been engaged. He's been more comfortable with me.
"Yes, you have a lot of times, dear" I responded.
Now that I think about it he has mentioned he likes to look at the mushrooms in the woods and this must be one of the places he's talked about before.
"Why did we leave the path?" I asked him.
I felt him lean over my shoulder and to my ear, it wasn't hard for him considering the height difference between us after I was merely five foot and he was five foot ten I think. He let out a warm breath causing me to shiver slightly, which made him chuckle lightly. After all it was a thing we would do to each other as a childish joke when the other least expected it.
"I have a special area out here I've been working on for a while now in fact I lived out here before I moved states to live in the city, I'd thought you'd want to see it. I've even made a cottage." He softly spoke into my ear sending a shiver down my spine. He never mentioned this before though he never did like talking about the past he'd always say the past is in the past and we should live in the here and now instead of dwelling of past events. After all it's called the present for a reason. I like that way of thinking about life, since ours lives are short we might as well try to enjoy them.
The brush around my feet began to get thicker as we continued through the forest the smell started to change to a little more like vinilla. The smell of pine fading and the brush seemed to thin a lot the ore we continued. I can hear a either a stream or river in the distance too. It happened quicker than I thought it would and stopped my train of thought instantaneously.
" Almost there, do you smell the oak trees, the vinilla. It's odd how similar the smell is to vinilla but it's nice. Don't you think so?" He said said head still next to my ear. Why does he feel the need to whisper, no one else is anywhere close to us, and this close distance is starting to bother me more and more. He's breathing down my neck, he could just hold my hand and lead me along instead, why is he doing this. This whole trip he's been acting more and more strange, it's starting to scare me. After all I took vacation time off work to come here with him, that it wherever this is.also yeah sure he's been acting weird,but I wouldn't tell him that in fear of hurting his feelings now he'd might just turn back and if miss a crucial memory with him. We've been walking for such a long time my feet are starting to hurt it must be completely dark by now anyways why would I want to turn back now. It's creeping me out that's why, what if something comes at us, but if we turn back it might end up being worse.
"Hey Ian," I begin
"Yes?"
"Aren't you scared that something might try and attack us?" I proceeded to ask voice almost trembling, "also can't I take the blind fold off now it's dark anyways" I state.
He took a breath sighing then continued with, "No I'm not scared of that happening because we're just about there and we can sleep in the cottage too. Also I can't have you take the blind fold off yet because the reason I waited till night to bring you here is because the surprise can only be seen properly in the dark so just wait patiently dear, for a few more minutes. Please." Finishing he finally moved away from my ear which took a bit of the anxiety away not that I'm worried about him, he's the sweetest man I've ever met.
"Hmm, m'kay then" I hummed in response
It was quiet for a while only the rattle of the things in his bag and the brush snapping or moving when we'd step. This time instead of reaching for something in his pocket he lightly picked up my hair, some of the thin brown strands falling back down.
"Your hair is really nice and pretty. It's soft and smooth to the touch, you take care of it so well. Such a nice gorgeous brown, so long too." He said
I can't blame him though he's complained about his a lot but still refuses to let me help him fix or change it. It's still soft and it's fluffy because of the slight curls. After a while of thinking and walking along I had either zoned out or got lost in thought because the brush was gone and he'd stopped me and looped around in front of me, taking my hand gently and leading me forward once more. His hand is slightly roughed up but it's soft and gentle. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, he stopped. Letting my hand go he reached behind my head he slowly untied the blindfold and held it. I open my eyes to a dark abyss. How did he manage to navigate like this?
"You can turn around now" he said
Turning around it's not so dark anymore there's mushrooms that cover the trees and a log pile illuminated the space with a bright green hue. The cabin lay ahead the door frames with mushrooms along with what looked like to be the original wood frame that the mushrooms grew on. It was an oak wood frame with mushrooms carved into it that contrasts with the logs that lead off. The cabin was covered in mushroom, lycan, moss, vines, some berry bushes, and what looked like hydrangea bushes. We're in a clearing in the woods completely surrounded by nature, the moon covered by the very few clouds there were. Though still shining enough to make the creek and lake shimmer in all of it's glory. Overall this place is beautiful. Who knew this was even out here. Words can't quite describe this place I'm speechless.
Ian let out a amused chuckle, "I'm guessing you like it judging by your silence"
"Yeah" I replied with a heavy exhale
I had turned around to look at him, he's smiling a soft, gentle, genuine smile. It's been a while since he had a genuine smile at home due to the overwhelming amount of work there is. I was getting worried about nothing earlier. He was just excited to show me this.
It's been a few hours now and we're laying down in bed, but why does something still feel off. I know there isn't anything wrong with this place there couldn't be. I shouldn't ponder these things I just need to sleep. Yeah, sleep, just sleep all I need is to sle-.
There's a lot of shuffling, " did you lose your phone or something, I told you to stop falling asleep with it every night," I said with a sigh.
Speaking of sleep, when and how did I fall asleep earlier, oh well I must have been more tired than I thought. After all, we were walking until I thought my feet were going to fall off. In fact they still hurt. I'm usually used to being on my feet but I've been too exhausted lately. The shuffling is still happening, " Ian let me help you look for- '' I cut off my sentence right away. He was sitting there looking at me. It's creepy and freaking me out but before I can even think about getting out of bed or away from the situation he spoke.
" Samuel I have a question" he stated
"Yeah?" I answered still shaking
He was blunt and straight to his point, " Would you die for me?"
"What? I mean yes, yes I love you dearly Ian." I panicked though it's not a lie if it came down to it I would.
He chuckled and grinning ear to ear his head tilted to the side, " oh that's great, I finally found someone" his tone almost sinister
I'm officially scared now," how is that great, found someone what does that mean, you're scaring me Ian why are we really how far out are we?" My words were fast and frightened , trembling, " who are you and what did you do to my fiance Ian, this isn't you I know it isn't." I don't want to believe that this is really him, my fiance . It can't be, I refuse to believe it.
"Don't worry it's me, everything is fine, but I have another question," he continued, getting even closer than before.
"What's the question?" I quickly answered panicked, what's the plan? What should I do? He's not gonna do anything. Is this all a joke, right?
" Will you commit a double suicide with me" he asked me tone with glee, I'm stuck why would he ask that I'm too shocked to answer what are you even menat to say to a question like that, "that's all I want. Someone that cares enough to die with me to join me in the afterlife. I don't want to be alone. Plus what if there is none I don't want to leave the one I love behind" he had started to elaborate.
" Ian, what drove you to this?" I asked, instantly regretting it.
"My husband, well my dead husband. He killed himself years ago. He wanted me to find someone that truly loved or cared about me, someone I deserved he didn't want to burden me anymore. How could I disrespect his wishes and go against them? Someone's life is something you can't get back once it's gone. Leave your life in someone else's hands isn't always the best but here and now I'll gladly die with you if you agree." He was on a rant though he gladly cut himself off," so what'll it be Samuel?"
It's a life or death situation isn't it if I say yes he won't really go through with it will he, but if I say no what will happen then, "n-no" I stuttered out what was that I didn't mean to oh no what's going to happen now. His face was quickly clouded with anger, betrayed, disappointed.
"Another no, how many will it take."
"Another no, Ian. Were there others,where are the others?" Now I have no idea where we are. It's pitch dark outside, at least 5 miles into an unknown forest. My phone is dead and even if it was working there's no service out here.
"In that case, how do you feel about becoming mushroom food?" He asked turning to grab something from the nightstand," if you don't struggle this won't be as painful."
" Ian please stop, no, you're not thinking straight right now why don't we go to bed and talk things through in the morning. Wait painful, you're not gonna kill me are you?" I'm scared he's joking this is all just some messed up joke Ian isn't a murderer, but even still I fall off the bed onto the wood floor from backing away.
There's another sound he's grabbing something from the floor. There's footsteps, my footsteps are loud and fast. Before I had an idea of what I was doing I was running out of the cabin bare foot. What now?
"Samuel" I heard Ian coo from inside the cabin. I could hear the grin in his voice followed by some chuckles.
Where do I go? It's dark. Where did we come from? I'm panicking. The tears have started, am I going to die here tonight on a trip with my fiance not to be found. I'm frozen in place. I could hear the sound of a metal bat dragging on the ground going over all the bits of gravel and grass.
"Ia-" as I turned trying to talk to him I was struck by the horrid sound that filled my ears.
The pain I felt in my head only came once I hit the ground, both cold and warm. All I feel is a horrible unbearable pain, I can't think of anything, I can't speak even if I wanted to. More movement I think I'm being dragged somewhere, thrown too.
"Goodbye Samuel, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do this."
I think he had said something but I couldn't comprehend anything. I'm starting to lose consciousness, probably because of the blood I've lost. At least the pain will go away. My eyes fall shut, it's completely dark and the pain is still very much there, not that it means anything now.
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artleaguemdcnorth · 1 year
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3D - Completing carving presentation and begin preparations for next assignment called Ephemeral Art - 2/28/23
Most of you have completed your carving assignment. Now we have to work on the presentation of your sculpture. 
This means, once completed you will look for a base for your sculpture.
The base of a sculpture needs to enhance the sculpture , add to it , not take away or become more important than the sculpture itself.
So as you go about looking for a base consider how the shape and height, the quality of wood can enhance the overall appearance of your sculptural form.
Look for driftwood or wood remnants that can be found in Home Depot or Lowes.
Do not buy a base at the art  or hobby store.
You need to figure out what base can work best for your sculpture , it needs to be unique and made by you. You can glue wood two pieces of wood to create height, use your imagination to build it.
Remember to create a harmonious relation between the base and the carving.
Aim for a base that is approximately the following dimensions:
5 inches in width,
4 inches in depth ,
2.5 inches in height.
Once you find the right kind of wooden base, decide if you need to paint it black or leave it  in the natural wood.
What do you think would look best and why?
This is an artistic decision you need to make.
This will be done at home on Thursday-
Finally, once completed, find different areas of your home and photograph the sculpture .
Look for an area near natural light, maybe near a window.
You are displaying the artwork as if it had been bought by a collector.
1)  Add four photos in different locations,
2) Add another four photos showing all angles of the work (left, right, top , below.)
3) Post all photos on your portfolio (tumblr) with a brief artist statement regarding your experience with carving.
Below see some examples of bases on small sculptures:
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This should give you some ideas on how to finish the base of your artwork.
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The base should never take away from the sculpture it supports.
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HOMEWORK BEGINNING TODAY:
YOU CAN BEGIN DURING CLASS OR AFTER CLASS.
Your next assignment that will begin next Tuesday will be to create an organic sculpture with found twigs. 
This kind of art is called ephemeral art because it is done with objects (twigs) that can and will decompose with time.
Beginning today try to go out around campus to start collecting twigs.
Make sure the twigs are clean , without little creatures or mold or wet.
If you look around the trees there are always thin twigs that can work well for this assignment. 
You will need a lot of twigs as this assignment will have a height requirement or about 24 inches in H,W,D.
I will post a photo for guidance below, so you can have an idea of what you are looking for. 
The sculpture assignment will require a glue gun, glue sticks and loads and loads of thin and long tree twigs.
Instructions regarding the next assignment will be given next Tuesday.
See below examples from students from previous years.
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On Thursday, students will work to correct their portfolios and include artists statements for the two assignments already completed. 
We will talk more about it in class today.
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treeservicetacoma · 9 months
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Step-by-Step Guide for Tree Trimming Like a Pro
Are your trees looking a bit unruly? Have you wanted to learn how to trim them yourself but don't know where to start? Look no further! Today, we're here to give you an in-depth guide on what it takes and what tools are needed for proper tree trimming. With this step-by-step guide, you too can become a tree trimming pro, giving your yard the neat and professional look that will turn heads! So let's start -you will want to catch all of it!
Step-by-Step Guide for Tree Trimming Like a Pro
Preparing to trim your trees is an important part of the process. Properly assessing what needs to be trimmed and what tools you need are important steps for a successful job. It's also a good idea to obtain any Tree Trimming Tacoma permits or permissions from the local authorities before beginning any tree work. With that in mind, let's dive into the details!
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Step 1: Assess the Tree
The first step is to assess the tree you're planning on trimming. Look for dead, diseased, or broken branches that must be removed to promote healthy growth and prevent further damage. You should also take note of any suckers or water sprouts that may have grown since your last trimming session. This will help you determine the shape and size of your final project.
Step 2: Gather Your Supplies
Now that you know what needs to be trimmed, it's time to gather your supplies! The essential tools for tree trimming include a good pair of pruning shears, a hand saw, safety goggles, and gloves. It's also a good idea to have a ladder and some rope for tying off any large branches.
Step 3: Start Trimming
When you're ready to trim, begin with the larger branches first. Carefully cut away any dead or diseased wood using your pruning shears or hand saw. Tie off any large limbs with rope and use the ladder for higher branches.
Step 4: Finishing Touches
Once the larger branches are taken care of, you can trim any smaller branches or twigs. Be careful not to over-trim, as this can cause permanent damage to your tree's overall shape. Instead, focus on light shaping and balancing out the branches for a more aesthetically pleasing look.
Step 5: Clean Up
Once you're finished Tree Trimming, it's time for the clean-up! Collect any debris and dispose of them properly. Also, check the ground around the tree for any remaining twigs or leaves. With that done, your trees should now look neat!
Step 6: Maintain Your Trees
Tree trimming isn't a one-time job; staying on top of regular maintenance is important to keep your trees looking their best. Aim to trim your trees at least once a year and watch for any potential issues requiring attention. With proper care, you can ensure that your trees remain healthy and beautiful for many years.
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Step 7: Enjoy!
Now that you've successfully trimmed your trees, it's time to sit back and enjoy the view. Spend time admiring all your hard work, and be proud of how great your yard looks now! Tree trimming may become one of your new favorite hobbies.
There you have it- a step-by-step guide for tree trimming like a pro. With the right tools and knowledge, you, too, can turn your trees into a neat and healthy landscape feature.
Things To Keep in Mind While Tree Trimming
Keep the following in mind while you trim your trees:
Ensure to get any necessary permits or permissions from the local authorities before beginning any tree work.
Be sure to wear protective gear, such as safety glasses and gloves, when handling tools.
Avoid over-trimming trees; focus on light shaping and balancing out the branches for a more aesthetically pleasing look.
Aim to trim your trees at least once a year and watch for any potential issues that may require attention.
Dispose of all debris properly and clean up any mess around the tree.
By following these steps, you can ensure that you properly care for your trees and create a beautiful landscape. So go ahead, grab your tools, and get trimming! You'll be a tree-trimming pro in no time.
Conclusion
Tree trimming can seem daunting, but you can easily become an expert with the right tools and knowledge. This step-by-step guide for tree trimming in Tacoma like a pro will help you confidently make your trees look their best. Remember to get any necessary permits, wear protective gear, avoid over-trimming, and maintain regular maintenance - and you'll be good to go! So grab your tools and get trimming - you're sure to make your yard look amazing!
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sunmoon-starfactory · 3 years
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Straight As An Arrow - Functional Archery 
That’s right, it’s here! Finally! Let your sim show off their dexterity(mechanical skill) with Functional Archery! With both a variety of bows and targets sims can work on that mechanical skill to gain fabulous prizes by eventually being able to compete in tournaments! Or they can just watch from the sidelines.Not to mention correcting that mistake of leaving archery out of TS2.
I want to give a special shout out to @nixedsims (NixNivis) for helping me with this project from the very beginning. This station was my (Frac) ambition and Sunni wasn't confident at the time with complex accessory use so she gave me encouragement and a blessing to seek out help. That brought me to Nix who at the time had done the TSM training dummies with varying swords...so I went seeking for help from her and she agreed with much excitement!
We went through many changes, had to rebuild things a few times, and all the while handle the various things real life was throwing at us which meant we had to take a few breaks. It wasn't easy, we were discouraged sometimes...but we did it Nix! Our baby is here! You'll always have my thanks and gratitude for your helping and not letting me give up on this dream. 
I wanted to start the year with a positive note...this is that note. Happy New Year’s Everyone!
See below the cut/at the Keep for more detail and use instructions. Required Files: Easy Inventory Check
Download - SFS
Download/View - The Keep
Extra Credits and Thanks: Fire_flower, HodgeKiss, Ocelotekatl, Raynuss, Eir, Niam_h, Sonniku, Maxis, TS3, TSM, Skyrim, TellTale, Nexus
Practice Archery When a sim has a mechanical (dexterity) skill level of 3 or higher, they may being practicing archery. New archers take more time to line up their shots and also miss more of their shots than seasoned archers, so Sims will gradually become speedier and more accurate at their shots as their skill grows. During a practice shoot, Sims will take a total of 3 shots that are randomized. This action builds mechanical skill. Sims may also practice archery autonomously. Shoot For Tournament When a sim has a mechanical (dexterity) skill level of 7 or higher, they may begin competing in tournaments and even may win a prize if they’re lucky. During a tournament shoot, Sims will take a total of 5 shots that are randomized. Depending on their success of shots they can get 1 of 4 outcomes: 1. They play well and are given a positive message. 2. They play poorly and are given a negative message. 3. They manage to make a Bullseye on shot four. This will win a sim a Coin purse prize. 4. They manage to make a Split on shot five. This will win a sim a Golden Arrow trophy. The first two are merely flavor text and at times do not correlated directly to the positions on the board or the amount of hit/misses they make; they will only trigger if a Sim does not get a Bullseye or a Split. Watch Tournament When a tournament is happening, Sims will autonomously gather around to watch the competition. They will randomly boo/cheer until tournament is over. This action has no effect on relationships and is not correlated to how well a Sim is doing.
Targets All targets function the same. Most target subsets are repositoried to the Wall Hanging Target while controlling their own stand recolor. The Dummy, Hay Bales, Log Slab, TS3 Archer's Gauntlet, and TS1 Range are all standalone.
Prizes Both the Coin Purse and Golden Arrow will appreciate in value over time if left out on a shelf/display.
Inventory Tools Each Inventory Tool Bow has two states; laying down and standing up. This is purely aesthetic, and all can be shifted up/down. There are seven choice;  1. Long Bow, 2. Elegant Carved Bow, 3. Fantasy Compound Bow, 4. Fancy Recurve Bow, 5. Simple Bow, 6. Bound Twigs Bow, 7. Wilderness Bow. If a sim does not have a tool bow in their inventory, they will defaultly use the Rental Bow.
Vendor To obtain a bow, currently only a vendor offers them as an import option until the local bower/fletcher comes into town. A bit pricier than normal, but not too much. Otherwise all bows can be obtained from the Collection File for their normal prices and will be available from later stations. 
Details • All items visible in hood view • Items found in the buy catalog under Hobbies -> Recreation • Collection file included • Compressorized
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sepdet · 3 years
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okay so @sevdrag asked for neat things and here is mine:
I FOUND A FOSSIL FOSSILS!
me back in september, driving across the Mojave Desert and camping under the stars to avoid all humans, meeting my parents at their condo in St George, Utah: I wonder if my poking around on geology and paleontology blogs and websites and documentaries and books and online courses has taught me anything yet.
*stumbles across the street in 100 degree heat and peers at some Rocks.*
Huh.
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Well now THAT's fuckin odd. It's not like an intrusion of molten something or other; parts of it are just a crust on the surface, but parts are embedded. And it's PARTS.
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And that's sandstone behind it. But not dunes, because there's no crossbedding. I think maybe water put it here. There's flowy bits.
Horseshoe crab tails? But some are too big. Plant stems? Again, some seem a little large. Or just some weird rust discoloration from ore, or a very odd sort of mineral that grows like a crystal without being quite regular in shape? But growing in sand/silt? instead of a fluid-filled cavity? Can that happen?
And then there's this. Small tracks on either side of a tail drag? Or a rolling pebble with water ripples on either side?
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Fas t forward to May 2021. Vaccinated. Return to St George to meet parents. Visit St. George Dinosaur Discovery museum, which has some of the best-preserved dinosaur tracks in the world on ancient silty mudflats, including a bona-fide dino butt print where a dino sat down on its haunches and then wandered off.
I show my photos to a paleontologist working the desk, and she says, "Oh, that's just petrified wood."
Just. Because it's common in this part of the southwest.
So we go home and I show Mom the rock face. While we're standing back, she points out they're part of an entire fucking TREE lying on its side, branches fanning to the right, partly embedded in the cliff, partly eroded out of it leaving a light imprint in the siltstone.
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That dark horizontal bit above the right side of the yardstick is the petrified skin of a treebranch (debarked, I think; there's other places that show a bumpy bark imprint whereas the brown petrified wood bits are smooth.) I think the "tail drag" mark might be a conifer twig with needles.
So I posted THESE to Twitter's #fossilFriday, and the curator of the museum spotted it and said he'd come by to document it, although I don't think he has yet because it's not in a very good state of preservation. Quoth he:
I agree with your identification as a portion of a tree with branches, and trees are very common in the Late Triassic Shinarump Member of the Chinle Formation buried in braided river systems some 230-225 million years ago. Unfortunately, from what I can see from your photos, most of the fossil is missing and I can't make out anything identifiable.
— Dr. Andrew Milner
Which means it just barely postdates the last survivors of the Permian die-off, my buddy Lystrosaurus, but not by much! (wrong part of the world, anyway; this isn't Gondwanaland.)
And after that email exchange I kept searching the cliff and found at least one more tree fossil as well. It's very definitely fossil treeroots from a tree that's lying on its side, but unless the top broke off and is not lying quite at the same angle, it's probably a second tree. It's behind the edge of my parents' neighbors' yard, so hopefully it's well-protected.
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More bits of petrified wood from the first tree.
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[Most photos May 8-9 2021]
And I'm just stoked, you know? I'm not a geologist, although there's lots of scientists in my family, and my maternal grandfather taught geology at a junior college. I've just gotten interested in this as a hobby of the past 10 years.
And there it is. An honest to gosh fossil tree, maybe one of the first to grow tall again after the end Permian extinction, shading the silty flats of a wide river down to what became lakes or the inland seaway. The first dinosaurs trotted past it, leaving tracks in the silt. That's a real tree that lived for decades or hundreds of years, and it moved in the wind and felt the rain, hundreds of millions of years ago, when the animals and insects that scurried on its bark were almost entirely different from today.
Fossils are amazing.
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alphinias · 3 years
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103/117/25 for jiara cause I'm obsessed with them
“She’s my daughter, I can read her diary” / “She’s six, how can she scare you?” / “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”
Ace Grubs was a twig of a boy with more attitude than bones in his body. JJ caught saw him pulling worms out of the ground and stabbing them through his fishhooks like he’d come out of the womb doing it, and he laughed at all of JJ’s fart jokes.
Normally, he got a kick out of the boy who came to play while his dad worked next to JJ in the shop. In fact, he reminded JJ a lot of himself. A little kid from a rougher side of town just out to have a good time, but thankfully one that came with a loving mother attached. He liked the little guy.
That is until Marley, his fucking six-year-old daughter, the light of his life, came waltzing into the living room. There was a gap-toothed grin stretched across her face and a shiny starfish clip in her hair. 
Now, this JJ wouldn’t have noticed much about. It was a starfish. Marley liked the ocean, was on the fast track to a savior complex the size of her mom’s, which made JJ’s insides stupidly warm. He liked the thought that she was taking after Kiara.
Kiara’s brows shot up from where she was bagging up her freshly cut brownies. “Sweetie. You like that clip now?” There was a hand on her hip, and JJ got the impression that he’d definitely zoned out during a fight about this at some point.
“Mhm. It makes my hair look pretty.”
“You look positively beautiful,” JJ cooed from the couch.
But then Marley’s grin widened, flashing a dimple that matched his own, and she said, “I think Ace likes when I look pretty,” and the smile fell right off of JJ’s face.
“He what?” he practically growled.
Kiara tossed him an eye roll over Marley’s head, but no further comment was made, because a loud knocking echoed from the door. “That’s Emily,” she said, tan hand looping around Marley’s elbow.
There was a conversation at the door, as per usual when Marley had a play date with one of her friends. Normally, JJ would’ve been more than thrilled to see her going to fish off the dock with her friends, that she was growing up to enjoy the same hobbies he did, but suddenly the thought of her fishing with Ace Grubs and his mom was horrible. He didn’t like it at all. In fact, he hated it.
Kiara seemed to find no problem with it. She waltzed back into the living room, her rapidly growing belly on full display when she turned around. There was some sort of pregnancy yoga routine she turned on to follow on TV, which normally would’ve given JJ ample opportunity to ogle her legs and ass from the couch.
He couldn’t even do that. 
His thumb tapped against his knee, and he wondered whether or not Ace Grubs had complimented Marley’s starfish clip before. He’d been chasing girls on the playground at Ace’s age, but the memory was significantly less amusing the more he dwelled on it.
“What time is Marley coming home?” he demanded, a little while later.
Kiara was in some type of forward position. She made a face at him from between her ankles. “Uh, six? What did you do, take a trip to Mars while I talked to Emily?”
“Didn’t hear,” he grumbled, and he heard Kiara let out a little laugh under her breath. He glared at her back.
There was a more useful way he could occupy his time. He may as well get his arsenal ready.
He wandered over to the kitchen table, one of his favorite places. A few of Marley’s things were strewn about it, including Marley’s favorite little dolphin notebook. He cast a glance at Kiara; her attention was totally on the way too flexible woman on the television, so he thumbed through the book.
The contents were unintelligible, for the most part. There were a few times Marley had practiced writing her name, and several drawings of what might have been fish. One of two blobs holding hands caught his eye. A whoosh of dread crashed into him, until he realized the drawing wasn’t in fact Marley holding hands with Ace, but one of himself and Kiara with a smaller blob between them.
A lump formed in his throat as he stared at it. The reality he was living still caught him off guard, at times.
“JJ Maybank. Is that Marley’s diary?”
JJ jumped at the sound of Kiara’s voice. She was staring at him from across the table, half glaring, half amused. “Shit! No.”
“JJ,” she urged.
JJ threw up his hands, not bothering to hide the book that flopped in his grip at the movement. “She’s my daughter. I can read her diary, thank you very much.”
“Sounds like a fast track to invasion of privacy and lack of parental child trust to me.” Kiara didn’t sound impressed. She inched her way around the table towards him.
“This is… Not that,” he said, lamely. He cleared his throat, trying and failing to look stern.
Kiara had reached his side at the table now. She leaned over his shoulder, one hand propped against it to see what he’d been looking at. He couldn’t help but breath in deeply at her proximity; no matter how many times he smelled it, her coconut scent never failed to loosen the tension in his back.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re buzzing out a little,” she said.
JJ shrugged. He wasn’t totally sure how to find the words to explain what he was feeling, or if he even really knew it, himself. “I dunno. She just… Scares me, I guess.”
He could feel Kiara’s eyes boring into the side of his face. She nudged further into him, trying to make things more playful. “Scares you? Babe. She’s six. How can she scare you?”
“Did you not hear what she said about that little Ace kid?” he finally exploded. “Sounds like a little punk.”
She cocked a brow at him. “Why? Because he has good taste?”
“No, but if he lays a finger on Marley—“
“JJ,” Kiara accused. “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”
“No,” he said automatically.
“Babe,” Kiara said, softly. Her fingers drifted to the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair there, just the way that lulled him back to sleep when he woke up with a particularly terrible nightmare. “Marley’s gonna have boyfriends.”
“Or girlfriends,” he supplied helpfully. Kiara’s smile grew.
“Or girlfriends. Point is, we have to trust her. Things would’ve been a lot easier with my parents if they had just trusted me.”
JJ brushed a kiss across her forehead. It was still hard for him to believe it, sometimes, that Kiara had chosen him. Him, nothing but trash that needed to be brushed off the street to most (And sometimes even to himself. He was working on that part, though).
But if Kiara hadn’t taken a chance on him… Not only on their relationship, but on just giving him the time of day, on being his friend, he sometimes wasn’t sure where he would be. He was sure he wouldn’t like it.
He breathed a sigh into her hair, and she sunk into him. “Maybe. I’ll try.”
“Mhm.” She slid her lips across his chin. He couldn’t tell if it was another bought of pregnancy hormones, or if she was just being comforting. It was hard to tell these days.
“Can I at least sit on the porch like, cleaning some fish hooks when they come to pick her up? Because I think they deserve it.”
She snorted. Pressed against him with another kiss, a few inches lower this time. “Absolutely not.”
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blankdblank · 4 years
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Acorn Castles
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Ok, here is the Firebender series. I know! I finally finished it after having been swamped with ideas for other series. :D
All –
@himoverflowers​​, @theincaprincess​​, @aspiringtranslator​​, @sweeticedtea​​, @thegreyberet​​, @patanghill17​​, @jesgisborne​​, @curvestrology​​, @alishlieb​​, @jogregor​​, @armitageadoration​​, @fizzyxcustard​​, @here2have-fun​​, @lilith15000​​, @marvels-ghost​​, @catthefearless​​, @imjusthereforthereads​​, @c-s-stars​​, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore​​, @mariannetora​​, @shes-a-killer-kween​, @ggbbhehe4455
Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim​, @jotink78​, @pastelhexmaniac​
x Thorin – @evyiione​, @deepestfirefun​, @queenoferebor​
@bun-bun-the-rabbit​​
Bruised and bloody you sat by the stream waiting on the Dwarves to finish bathing for your turn. None of the Dwarves wished to see you in pain or so badly afflicted by training. Dwalin out of all of them bore the weight the hardest, silently wringing the blood stain from his knee on his pants from a move ending with his leg hitting you in the nose. There was little faith when Gandalf showed up with your shivering wide eyed self to BagEnd after having wrangled another innocent bystander into the mix of his Journey claiming you would be the perfect Dragon Slayer.
A life of isolation on a tiny island with nothing but snow, snow and more snow a prank from the other young adults in the village ended with your being sent out to sea on a patch of ice. Another world where you should have been raised from firmer stuff but you were a scientist, a dreamer child of the two top researchers in protection of whales and all Arctic life leaving you less than popular for their impressions of the villagers who had been there forever holding less than factual impressions of each creature you came across.
It was decided to train you up as you couldn’t be left alone and no matter how hard you were hit even by accident you always got up and even once made Dwalin impressively scoot back half a foot in a full body slam at his urging leaving you groaning on your back in the collapse after. A rousing round of claps and cheers sure didn’t help your dislocated shoulder Oin was less than gentle in twisting back into place triggering a three day death of your arm unable to be rotated at all issuing warnings to him not to mend your dislocations that way again, because they knew it would occur again.
You were never greatly overweight, but in the surface of the water it was as if you were looking at a stranger. Thin and lean with dips and curves tracing each burning torn muscle throbbing to warn you of its injuries through each movement. Even in drying you could feel the silhouette of your figure had altered beyond what you had assumed possible. Not that you lacked motivation, you had scores to any task you wished to take on, merely when it came to fitness you preferred having a trainer or workout buddy, something severely lacking back home where you had no friends except for your giant fluffy bear dog now splashing through the lake following Thorin’s raven Roac. He loves to run and so the treadmill was your go to for cardio, something now helping at least to keep you from a heart attack through the body morphing wrestling and weapon training bouts.
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Using your severely blistered hands bundled in sturdy unforgiving bandages small smooth stones were gathered up and in a circle you began to build the first house. Always while the men bathed or hunted for supper once you had been guarded through gathering wood or water on your own you would be found creating tiny villages with stones, clover, moss, twigs, leaves or any other items you might find around camp. Each day growing more extravagant with crude shovels from sticks used to carve out little lakes or streams through the town stirring soft grins onto your face. The act itself childish from the days of their youth stirring memories from each Dwarf of their own building blocks from days long gone, yet the act all the more admirable to them as it showed along with your adamant resolve that there were similarities between your races and upon that you might just find comfort in Erebor.
“Uncle, she’s doing it again.” Kili murmured in Khuzdul using his arm in a faked scrub of his face and hair to block the movement of his mouth.
“I see that,” Balin replied while Thorin wrung out his hair on the bank slowing himself to dry a bit more before pulling on his pants. Always as the leader he had to inspect his Company, even the ever unwelcoming Bilbo who did all he could to puff up and make certain it was known he did not take kindly to stares. You had shared that back home you would often wake up with small bruises without source. But the truth was far from comforting as through training they could find hand prints and large swollen bruised chunks of your body often leading to one or more of them to have to excuse and re-gather themselves from bursting into tears for the pain them in their stronger physiques had put upon you.
He hated this, but you would never survive if you were not trained, even in speaking often found to be too shy to meet the eye of those who spoke to you around the dinner fire. Gaze forward making certain not to impose. Not to be a hindrance. Not to create extra work for the Dwarves who made note of every accomplishment. Including the first time you could lift the saddle of your horse on your own halting Bofur and Bifur from assisting you on dressing him every day that stirred a wide smile from yourself to the ground in a silent moment of self pride bolstering the mood of the men on the beginnings of that gusty unpleasant day.
“Ah, a fine village, is that your former home?” Bilbo asked, the Hobbit’s arrival at your side had the Dwarves’ beards bristling as they didn’t notice his departure and from irritation on the chance you might be hindered from your silent hobby of assumed he was ridiculing you.
“Oh, no. There’s a game, back home, where you get to build your village and there are these houses with animals in them and you can go through the island fishing and collecting fruit and digging up treasure. I usually just recreate the layouts from the different versions I saw in a book on the game.”
Bilbo grinned inching closer on his knees helping to secure a tiny fence you secured the end of by winding another blade of grass to bind it to the twigs around it. “Well a fine job you are doing if I might say so. Built many a fairy dwelling myself in my Fauntling days.”
“Well, way I see it, if I build a Kingdom a day from here to Erebor I might be strong enough to face a Dragon.”
Bilbo patted your arm, “That is a marvelous plan. Perhaps I might take up building myself to practice planning on burgling a hoard. Confidence is half the effort, well concluded.”
Smirking to yourself as the words sank into the hearts of the hushed Dwarves you said, “Or at the very least I could fib and say I have experience in building to make it on a work crew. Lord knows there will be plenty to rebuild if it’s how I picture it. Dragons aren’t very slender creatures, all tail and wings bound to knocked a wall or two.”
Bilbo asked, “Any clue on how to face him yet?”
“Well, one would hope he has just left when we arrive, but fill a hand with dirt the other with wishes, which fills faster. What my Dad always said.” It wasn’t pride in your tone but pain, they could all feel the pain those words inflicted on you, how harshly they resonated and now they all had a deep ache to ensure any wish of yours possible to fulfill they would ensure came true. “Truth is, our Lords and Princes slew our Dragons to the last one proving their might. There isn’t much known about them to the public past they are gone now.”
Bilbo wet his lips seeing your melancholy gaze to the moss roof you were adding to a little bridge with a road underneath to help with rainwater collection, “Why does that make you sad?”
Glancing up you shook your head saying, “It seems you can’t throw a stone without hitting someone or a people with a terrible tale to tell about the Fire Nation, where I came from. Nothing but cinders and burnt bloody paths to bring about our glorious empire.” His hand extended to land on your knee drawing your eyes to his, “We’re not all bad. Some of us are just trying to make it day to day while our soldiers are out ruining our honor. We used to be so great, so good, that’s why the dragons gave us their fire in the beginning. And we repayed them by hunting them down and mounting their heads on our temple walls.”
Bilbo shook his head while the Dwarves just about were ready to cry for this truth they were just learning, “You are not bad. Farthest thing from it. There is no Fire Nation here, you are from the Shire.” He said nodding his head, “Consider yourself an honorary Baggins. I’m certain together we can see the end of that greedy old dragon, hopefully he’s long to bones when we get there, but in these lands our Dragons from what I’m told give naught but grief and destruction, no fire givers here. Two separate buckets entirely.” That drew a weak try for a chuckle from you and he wet his lips asking the question burning at him, “How did you end up all alone where Gandalf found you?”
“Oh,” you sighed out, “My father angered the Fire Lord so he banished us to a Northern Water Colony in the middle of a tundra of an island. The other children despised me, for where I came from, what they thought I was. But my parents were scientists, studied the animals and plants, what little there was. One day they must have snuck in unhitching my wagon from the trailer and left me and my dog out on a block of ice not realizing it’d break off and send me out to sea.”
“Varmints!” Dwalin growled drawing your eye a moment luring mutters of his try to not rant about how they didn’t deserve your company or presence on their island at all for treating you as such.
“Wasn’t all bad, I got big Bo out of the move. He doesn’t mind my company.”
.
“Trolls have the ponies,” Fili whispered to Kili only to have them flinch when you whispered behind them.
“What are trolls?” They both looked at you and you asked, “Like live under bridges, Trolls? We only have those in stories. How do you fight them?”
Kili, “Best way is daylight, but that’s hours off yet.”
“Boggins!” The pair said and rushed off to fetch Bilbo.
Under furrowed brows your eyes narrowed finding the ponies and from behind a tree you eyed a giant bubbling cauldron for a stew. All at once Bilbo was suddenly upside down gripped by a hand without a source and in the moment of deliberation whether or not to disarm to the order of the invisible Troll the men all seemed to be looking up at. Hard and fast you raced out and slammed your feet into the cauldron sending it onto the now screaming trio you caught faint slivers of from the scalding liquid sliding down their bodies. While the Company had gathered to catch Bilbo, who was sent flying your eyes scanned over the clearing to your quickening breaths asking, “Where are they?!”
The last of the liquid had lessened to where you could barely make it out in the campfire aiding in shadows to blot out their heavy steps in the grass, “What does she mean?” Gloin asked stirring questioning mutters from the Dwarves.
A swing of an arm straight for your head had Thorin shouting, “Down!”
You complied and Bifur asked, “You can’t see them? At all?”
“Sunlight,” you muttered, “Turn around! Cover your eyes!” A hand back to the campfire through a deep inhale spurred on a stunning back flip away from the invisible trio and in a wave of arms to a pausing position with hands joined outstretched in front of you the Dwarves’ mouths dropped to the wave of fire flying from the wood to your palms. A circle of your hands and a wave like motion of your arm to your right to a lift of your leg to ease it back close to a lunge began the circle of the brightening flames behind your back. The swing of your left arm came with a pendulum spin with your leg kicking up as your torso dropped to rise again, a quarter of a pirouette motion with your leg came before another dropping spin with arms guiding the flames to spark up. Fingertips gliding through the wall of flames stirring up blips of lightning while the Trolls shielded their eyes and the Dwarves turned while Bilbo hid himself behind Bombur. 
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Brighter and brighter in the distance the Elves on guard took notice of the sunlit bubble just hours to midnight. Deep breaths to the dimming of the light had the group peeking out to watch your final paused pose with palms sliding together in front of your chest through the drop of your foot to plant beside your other foot. Bilbo asked in his inching step out, “Fire Nation? You, didn’t mean, literal fire the Dragons gave you?”
“Well,” you said then wet your lips that only stayed dry like the rest of your mouth. “We have an internal flame, I’m only self trained. Dad hated benders, having worked so long under them.”
Dwalin, “benders?”
“Those in the Fire Nation who can control fire. My parent’s were non-benders I couldn’t tell them. But there was no shortage of books to sneak from the library on bending techniques.”
Thorin just about hummed out, “You can control fire? Does Gandalf know of this?”
“No.” A whine from Bo turned your head to find him dragging a sack of potatoes you claimed and opened, “Potatoes?” That had the search for treasure on lit by a torch from the campfire you had sent the flames back to. Inside the hoard from the food you followed Thorin’s call to bring you over.
“Miss Pear, here,” your eyes fell to the twin blades and bow with a quiver he packed for you with arrows from several other half packed quivers found within the hoard. “These are more suited for someone your height, Elven made by the looks of it, light and sturdy. Might not trust the lot, but the forest dwellers can smith a fine blade.”
“Thank you,” to your braid hanging frayed over your chest his eyes sank making yours as well, “Something on me?”
Catching those same silver flecked purple eyes looking down at him he shook his head stealing another glance to your dusty dirtied wild curls normally in a shimmering white with speckles of tiny hues of colors temptingly close to opals under direct moon or sunlight nearly driving the Company to requesting a lock of it to treasure always. “Just, your braid has seen better days. I must ask though, did your parents have hair similar to yours?”
“Oh, no. Mother had the curls, but she went into labor while a volcano erupted and sought shelter in a temple for the spirit of the magma. When I was born my eyes and hair were like this.” Down your gaze shifted and you added, “Part of why I was decided to wed my betrothed.”
Balin, “You we’re separated from your lover?”
Locking eyes on him you shook your head, “I’ve never met Turok, his father once in passing when I was a child. He was a General and spoke to the Fire Lord who proclaimed the match.”
Thorin’s brows furrowed, “The Fire Lord proclaimed your match?”
You nodded, “Anyone of standing in the Fire Nation weds who the Fire Lord chooses for us.”
“That’s absurd!” Came at once from the Company and Bombur said, “And terribly cruel. Did you find one you wished to marry but could not?”
“No, I was sent to an all girls school once my match was set and I was secluded from any males outside my bloodline. Until we got sent to the Water Tribe village that is. There was no risk of any trying to befriend me let alone try for a match with me.”
Thorin let out a growling breath and locked his eyes on yours to say, “There is a great deal of cruelty I wish to blow back onto your clan for what you have endured.”
Dwalin said, “We will ensure when we are toasting and feasting to our return you will have no shortage of dance partners.”
“Oh, well, you might have to teach me the dances. We weren’t allowed to dance until our wedding lessons for the ceremony.”
For a tense moment the group held back their comments and Bombur broke the silence, “We should load the wagon with the food we have found, what could be salvaged, then rest up for he night back at camp and move on ahead.”
.
Across your back Bo slept in his usual way covering most of your body comforting the Dwarves that while you had a thick fur coat too warm for the chilly front rolling in leaving you just to your bedroll and a thin blanket that you would be warm enough. Past the now statue Trolls and bunnies and foxes eating the veggies from the spilled cauldron Gandalf strolled curious of what had occurred through the night. The trunk spotted through the cover parted by his staff on the back of your wagon he had found you, Bo and your things inside of he eyed the gold and treasure that with a muttered enchantment would not be visible to any outside the Company while inside the wagon.
Drawing back his staff he continued past the wagon finding you again with the creeping sunrise seated upright on your own a bit of distance from the camp giving off a faint shimmer through your morning meditations. Another odd trait the Dwarves tolerated once Gandalf had given his best guess it was a time for reflection to see if the Valar might send you guidance on your road ahead. A stick crunching underfoot opened your eyes and he could feel your return to the present next seeing your body turn and rise to grin in the usual way and welcome him back again.
Disbelieving Gandalf eyed you with Bofur and Bifur holding your hands a few moments into Thorin’s defense of you in that if Gandalf, who brought you into this Company, doubted your abilities then he did not deserve a demanded performance of said abilities. The dispute solidifying that there would be no trip to Rivendell souring Gandalf’s mood entirely to vanishing on the wind as soon as he had arrived to try and speak with Elrond to lure the Company there.
“Don’t you lower your eyes,” Gloin said as you helped to clear up camp in readying to head out. “Stubborn Wizard should have never thought he could demand a display, you were trembling after stoning those Trolls. No need to strain yourself without cause.”
Dwalin patted your back in passing you with his saddle resting on his shoulder in a subtle sign not to back up. “Listen to him Lass, not as if the wandering folk can control our Company. Barely a month all together that Wizard has traveled with us always off on the wind. You have seniority.”
Oin came over triple checking, “You are certain you are not burned?”
“Fire is more than heat, it’s light, a living thing. I can be burned but it would take some doing and I would have to be caught off guard.”
Oin nodded passing you a kerchief with a few berries in it, “A snack, last not scavenged by critters before the looming frost.”
He walked off with your thanks and the group made certain that you made it up onto your horse with ease as Nori and Dori secures their ponies behind Gandalf’s horse to pull the wagon they shared the front bench to. South you turned and for days stealing glances back when pausing for breaks distant echoes of more horses kept luring your attention to the empty distance even through the start of another deluge. Grumpy in the wagon Bo slept or moped looking through the front window lying on top of your bags while you sat under your rain cloak trying to keep from nodding off at your body’s urge to curl up when it rained. Another adorable trait for the Dwarves who ensured to have your tent ready upon camping on rainy days to grant you a mini nap before waking you for meals.
“I heard it that time,” Ori exclaimed as you turned for the end of the green pastures towards the distant mountains with slightly rockier ground around a well worn dirt path the men claimed their kin used often when they cross these ways.
“See! I’m not crazy!”
“No one said you were,” Bombur said patting his hand on your leg to his right unable to reach your knee on your tall horse.
Thorin stayed in a huff, “Probably those Elves Gandalf was so keen on visiting. We will lose them in the pass to the Mines.”
“What’s that like?”
Dwalin, “Dark,”
Fili, “Thousands of goblins,”
Kili, “Wargs too! One of the most winding forgetful paths our kin have laid to ward off intruders.”
“Sounds cozy,” Bilbo muttered and Thorin glanced back at you with a nod of his head, “If you feel up to it you could ride up with us up front.”
“I’m good back here out of your way. You know the path. Besides I have a habit of startling my horse friend here still.”
Lowly he chuckled and turned forward remembering the time a you had woken up from another rainy day nap and made your horse rear up sending you hard onto your back in the mud after your full body jerk to a leaf hitting your face. “Change your mind just trot on up.”
.
Dark and full of screeches the pass stretched on and on. When a glowing breath of a tiny flame behind your hand to peek at your pocket watch on your lap signaled for the night to camp in the pitch black cavern. A small cave was located and thanks to your flame between your palms it was lit up for all to sit inside once two axes were used to secure the cover for the entrance.
Between Bifur and Bofur you crept to the dark lapping river announcing its location even in the dark, another silent marker for their kin who unlike you and Bilbo had a clear view of the path with their eyes so tuned to the dark. Listening between shuddering breaths uncertain of when you had ever been in a place so dark stirring up a fear you didn’t want to admit their kind could not understand as the darkness was not debilitating to them. By feel alone each water skin was lowered into the frigid waters bubbling until full signaling your move to fill the next. “What is that?” You asked eyeing a glint in the distance to your right upstream.
By the sound of their collars shifting you knew they eyed the path to the right finding the odd glint you must be speaking of. Along the muddy ground under the surface it bumped and bobbed until wetting your lips you set the skins down to dunk your arm down nearly to your shoulder. Biting back a wince and gasp from the temperature you kept reaching seeing it was lower than your hand causing your knees on the edge of the river to slide. Onto your belt securing your over shirt the pair took hold to keep you on the shore watching your shift back as the slimy muddy mess with the glowing core came closer to the surface. “It’s slimy,” You muttered and from the hard rocky edge of the stream your other hand lowered to start scrubbing only brightening the area. Hastily Bifur removed his cloak to dangle around the water above your heads and hands blocking some of it. Above the surface the brightly glowing stone with a milky galaxy of glittering mist and waves in spectrums of colors shifted in your palms now fully cleaned narrowing the pupils of the awed Dwarves and yourself. Their focus shifted to returning to the cave as you asked, “What sort of stone is this?”
Bofur said, “Best take it inside.”
“Right,” You said hastily plopping it though the neck of your shirt darkening the world to you again for Bifur to re-secure his cloak around his neck. “Sorry.”
Bofur patted your back translating Bifur’s signing, “No apologies, we admired it as well. Quite a treasure you found there.”
Water skins were gathered up and to the cave the pair guided you to find the Dwarves smirking taking notice of your soaked sleeves. “Fall in?” Kili chortled out to Fili’s snickering.
Bifur however signed that you had found something and mouths dropped with Gloin saying, “Glowing stone? What stone?”
After ensuring the cover was secured behind you, awkwardly you dug into your outer shirt to bring out the lemon sized stone filling every crack of the cave with brilliant light. Dropping the jaws of the Dwarves who each tenderly took their chance to inspect it while Bilbo straightening up the blanket he had set down for your spot to keep a chill off you from the freezing stone similar to his spot. At his side you heard the debating Dwarves unable to come to a conclusive name for the stone that as Bilbo finally got his turn he asked noticing the tears in your eyes at another glance to the swirling colors inside that had quickened and slowed by how far it was from you. “Miss Pear, why are you crying?”
Post subtle sniffle you answered, “I don’t know why, but there’s something about it that makes me sad. Like an old memory.” Ori beside you patted your back and you said shaking your head, “Maybe it’s like something from an old story sparking up in my head.”
Ori, “I used to cry seeing gourds, took me a while before I remembered about this one scene of parted lovers from a tale our Amad told us when we were little. It will surface in time.” He smiled as you glanced his way, grinning to his, “You will see.”
Dwalin said, “Might be able to wrangle up something to help cover that if you like.”
“No, I have an idea.” The men got to fixing dinner while subtly you crept out to dig in the hoard from the Troll trunks. With a handful of copper cups full of white gold coins and a white gold chain the men smirked seeing you sit on the cold dirt by the ponies napping in the safe warm cave that with your hands you dug a hole just a bit larger than the stone lighting the activity.
Hot and hard into your palms you blew licks of flames until you felt the right temperature to lift the first coin you flattened to their awe to fill what they realized was a mold in the dirt. Steadily the hole was filled until the back was forged. Next the first cup was heated and using the dagger in your boot thin strips like wire were set aside then woven into a pair of trees. The trunk spiraled splitting into smaller groups of spiraled branches reaching to the edges matching the shorter roots. Then against the back you used your water skin to clean and polish smooth with more flames from between your lips and hard pressed of your sore but finally blister free fingers. Each motion skilled after years of trinket forging on your room while the other children played outside.
Actions luring the Dwarves into a trance the tree now heated was pressed into the white gold and set aside to cool. The other side of the stone would be covered with copper with the coins flattened and cut to weave another tree pressed into the front. That through the tiny holes they had noticed you wet your lips and with the tweezer kit Nori had passed you strips of both copper and white gold was woven into hinges and a hidden securing lock on the other side along with a harnessing loop to hook into the chain. In securing the stone inside your new locket you couldn’t help but giggle to the claps from the Dwarves who each took a turn inspecting the craftsmanship of the impressive bit of jewelry.
Balin, “You will make a fine jeweler, Miss Pear.”
“Perhaps for fun, I doubt I could make a living from lockets.”
The Dwarves scoffed and took to sharing the history of their kin surrounding jewels including shared bits of jewelry tucked on their persons that each had accomplished forging themselves for certain markers in their growth with the youngest trio showing woven bracelets yet to be old enough to be trusted alone to the forges just yet. Around your neck the chain settled and the locket rested surprisingly light to your chest as Thorin said, “Well maneuvered on the hinge as well, not a sliver of light to be found.”
“Well wouldn’t be a good way to pay you back if I got us killed out here by giving us away.”
His sentimental grin widened and he hummed, “I look forward to uncovering more of your hidden talents in Erebor.”
Pt 2
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samdavickart · 3 years
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1 - Chloe Wise - “It’s The Least The World Can Do”
In the first segment, I took inspiration from Chloe Wise’s video entitled “It’s the least the world can do.” Filmed towards the beginning of the pandemic, she sought to create an absurdist dialogue with herself that referenced her experiences within isolation. I was immediately drawn to this performance as I have found myself feeling similarly over the past eleven months. Having full conversations with yourself in a solitary environment really makes one question their sanity.
2 - Petra Cortright - “SSSSS//////^^^^^^^”
I thought that the absurdity of Petra’s video art was a great follow-up to the Chloe Wise performance. She has an entire series of video art pieces on her website that is essentially selfie videos with strange effects overlaid. The spiral effect that I chose was intentionally reference the anxiety spirals that have often consumed me in the past eleven months - but I always seem to make it out.
3 - Dagnini - “Art from Isolation, Private Performances”
This performance, inspired by one of Dagnini’s Private performances, was perhaps the most fun that I had throughout filming the seven pieces. Dagnini’s performance was set in a bathroom because of that space’s inherent isolated qualities. Bathrooms are by nature solitary - a place for meditation, contemplation, even existential crises. Despite wanting to recreate that, I always try to incorporate elements of fun into my artistic practice. So rather than fully embracing the isolation in this piece, I decided to invite my friend to interact with me as if I was her canvas.
4 - FKA Twigs - “Cellophane” 
We all have those slightly strange pandemic hobbies that we’ve developed over the past almost-year, mine just so happened to be pole dancing. FKA Twigs uses this type of performances alongside many of her works. I thought that it would be interesting to film a performance inspired by her music video “Cellophane”. The song has references to longing, trauma, and relationship abuse, accompanied with an incredibly compelling performance using her body. I think the dichotomy is interesting, and could even be characterized as a reclamation of her body despite these events.
5 - Bruce Nauman - “Body Pressure”
My first exposure to this performance was obviously in Marina Abromovic’s “Seven Easy Pieces”. I was compelled with the commitment she exhibited to the performance. Despite the visible discomfort, she was viscerally in tune with her body - connected with every cell pressed against the glass. I had a ton of fun with this performance as well, although I think the lighting left something to be desired.
6 -  Marc Arthur - “Wandering in Ypsilanti”
Inspired by George Bernard Shaw’s “The Doctor’s Dilemma”, Arthur videotaped himself via webcam with a superimposed image of a menacing home in the background. He did so in order to reference the wandering of the mind that he has experienced in the process of the pandemic. When thinking of how I would interpret this performance, my mind was immediately drawn to my childhood home. This period has been especially tough for me in my longing for familial connection. I haven’t seen my parents since December of 2019 and the impending reunion is my light at the end of the tunnel.
7 -  Kate Gilmore - “Buster”
I would have been remiss had I not included a piece by Kate Gilmore, the preeminent ceramic/performance artist. She finds intuitive ways to combine the two mediums into fascinating performances. I find the intersection of ephemeral performances with permanent objects to be incredibly innovative and creative. It was an incredible time destroying these unneeded vessels of mine, filled with water to augment the sound as the smashed on the concrete. Although (big shocker) water freezes when it is 2 degrees outside. Imagine that?   
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dreamdropxoxo · 4 years
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Lock-down Story, Part III
Part I, Part II
"How about you start your own home workout stream?" When Laurent had asked this question the day before, Damen had really asked himself why he hadn't thought about it sooner. He had all the equipment, was a trained chiropractor and fitness instructor and had enough time to just do it.
He sat down and started drafting his first set of training with alternatively easier method for people who were not as sporty, muscled or simply motivated as he was. It occupied him for half a day and that was much better than to just stare at the windows and asking himself if he should clean them once again.
When he went outside to install the camera, he saw, to his surprise, his boyfriend kneeling in the dirt in their backyard.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing there?"
"Gardening, Damianos, don't ask stupid questions." Laurent didn't even look up while he was weeding their former flowerbed which was overgrown und messy.
"And why are you doing that?"
Laurent sighed, as if he didn't have the patience to explain every miniscule detail to Damen, but contrary to what one could think, Damen knew his boyfriend had all the patience in the world for him. "Because it looks horrible and I have nothing better to do. I can't stand for our backyard to look like a battlefield."
Damen nodded, it made perfect sense. Laurent was a perfectionist and his nature didn't allow him to let this state of disorder go on like that. "Am I disturbing you, if I start my workout recording now?"
"No, as long as I am not in your video I am perfectly fine." Laurent finally looked up and then his eyebrow climbed up his forehead. "Are you sure you want to wear that while you start with whatever you intend to do?"
"A live stream, Laurent. Don't talk as if you are 100 years old and slept through the last decades of technological progress. And what is wrong with it? I always wear that while training."
"You always wear that? Not only here?" The corner of Laurent's mouth twitched. Damen was honestly confused. "Yes?"
"No wonder they offered you a discount on your gym subscription. Well, then good luck. I will be over here, keeping myself away from your video camera." Laurent turned back around and continued with his task. Damen still couldn't understand what was wrong with his outfit. He wore long pants, for God's sake.
Although he was confused, he started with his training, while he trained he explained the easier execution of the routine and what advantages the different exercises had. He realized while drafting the training plan that he could include quite a bit of his chiropractor knowledge. It was fun and very satisfying.
After two hours of grueling training, he stopped the stream and posted the video on YouTube too. Nik promised to watch it and give feedback as soon as he finished with work. Then he went to shower and finally helped Laurent with his gardening. Which meant that he could help him move the bigger stones and pots full of dirt and weed.
Laurent was a mess, his face full of smutches, his hair messy with the occasional twig and leaf stuck in it, his clothes dirty, and yet, he looked very satisfied after all the work. Damen drew him closer and kissed him. He was sweaty again and decided to join Laurent for another shower.
This continued for some days more and suddenly Damen's account on YouTube exploded, his live stream had thousands of followers and Damen didn't know what had happened. He did what every responsible boyfriend would do in that situation; he ran to Laurent, a bit hysterical and demanded an explanation.
Laurent, calm as one can be took his laptop from him and made a quick google search. Then he said, dead-pan, "well, it looks as if I am dating the next internet sensation. Some important guy found your videos and shared them, people love you and now you have a lot of followers."
Damen gaped. "What?"
"Yes, congratulation, Damen. I bet half of the followers just stare at your arms while you do all those push-ups." Laurent laughed when he gave him his laptop back. Damen sat down, absolutely shocked and did a quick google search. It was true, the singer of a very famous band, Lazar Lafeu had mentioned in a telephone interview that he killed his new found free time with Damen's training video. He had said, "If we can't go on our tour I can at least look at all these nice Akielon muscles. And even better, the guy has a fully functional brain, very sexy."
Damen seriously didn't know what to do with his new found internet fame. He decided to ignore it and just continued with his videos like before. The only difference was, that after every video he took ten minutes to answer questions of his followers. What startled him the most was that people started to notice everything about him.
They complimented the color of his façade, which was a very very pale mint, picked by Laurent. They asked where he had purchased his yoga mat. They discussed the circumference of his bicep. He even understood why Laurent had been so amused by the choice his outfit. It was because his loose fitting tank top gaped open whenever he didn't stand and provided a deep look to his chest and stomach.
His follower called it the sweetest tease ever, they begged him to keep wearing them and Damen, who never had a problem with being ogled did exactly that. The question if he would do a training without a shirt however, was firmly answered in the negative.
Laurent had finished weeding their whole backyard and even started planning new flowers. Their local gardener had started to deliver the plants directly to one's doorstep and Laurent took full advantage.
Damen had been overjoyed to realize that Laurent truly enjoyed his new hobby. He could kneel in the dirt for hours and didn't care even one bit how messy the work could be sometimes. Right now he planted rose bushes while Damen was in the last two minutes of his live stream.
"Fuck! Damn it." Laurent's voice was muffled but still very clearly audible. Damen's head shot up, "Sweetheart?"
"I'm alright. Just ignore me." Laurent smiled pained and hurried inside. Damen didn't even look at the stream when he shut it down and ran behind his boyfriend. Laurent had his hand under the water in their kitchen. The stream tinted red. Damen felt the nausea grow, not because of the blood in general, but because it was LAURENT's blood.
"What happened?"
Laurent sighed. "My hand slipped."
"Show me." Damen took his hand carefully in his own. There was a very long gash in the palm of Laurent's left hand. It looked horrible and would need stiches. He was once again glad that as chiropractor he had studied together with the physicians for four years. He could do the stiches at home.
"Stay here. I will go get my medical kit."
The next day, Laurent lounged on his bench in the shade because he had decided to take a break from gardening for a day when Damen started his stream. He apologized for the abrupt ending of the stream but his followers were so over the moon that Damen had a boyfriend that they didn't care at all.
It was no surprise that the whole ten minutes after the training were filled with questions about his relationship and Laurent in general. He informed them that the mysterious boyfriend preferred to stay mysterious but that he was fine and only needed four stiches.
The fans were somewhat disappointed that they didn't get to know Laurent but accepted the decision with grace. However, they didn't give up completely. Over the course of the next day Damen was asked random questions concerning Laurent. They varied from, "Is he younger, older or the same age as you", over "Is he beautiful?", to "What is his job?". Damen answered them with permission from Laurent with, "younger", "yes", "He's a lawyer".
Then a day came when Damen didn't install the camera the same way as always because he did a later training and the sun would otherwise be too bright. He had told Laurent about it the day before and even on the same morning but Laurent was not very attentive to details that didn't concern him directly. Thus it came that he walked right through Damen's stream. It was not so bad because only his lower half was recorded, but it caused an uproar.
Damen could understand it, because Laurent's ass looked damn hot, even in the video and everybody was curious before. His fans asked about Laurent even more often and the blond man finally seemed to give in, at least in typical Laurent fashion. He answered some of the questions about himself from the off.
It was hilarious, because Laurent had a wicked kind of humor. When one guy asked if he could see him just once, Laurent answered, "Sorry, I think I am too much to handle for you, so no. There were people who actually crashed their car because of my face."
The fans asked Damen if it was true and he had to confirm it. He told them that he almost fell down a staircase when he saw Laurent for the first time. And in his humble opinion Laurent only grew more beautiful with the years.
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mrchalamet-mrstyles · 4 years
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*A MUST READ:*
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart never broke up. Indeed, their split was merely a distraction for the press that would guarantee the former Twilight stars privacy. In the interim period, where Pattinson got engaged to FKA Twigs and Stewart dated a series of women, including St. Vincent, the pair were actually living in wedded bliss. Their PR game was so effective that it helped to hide no fewer than two pregnancies for Stewart. Now, the Pattinson-Stewart family are happy together, laughing at the ignorance of the press and public who believe they broke up years ago and moved onto fulfilling and happy relationships with other people.
Of all the weird celebrity conspiracies that pollute the internet, the Robsten fandom may be my favourite one. It has everything: Press conspiracies, outlandish theories that would put Moon landing truthers to shame, the inability to tell reality from fiction, and of course, bad photoshops. Every now and then, when I see Pattinson and Stewart in the headlines, I go and visit the tin-hatters’ sites for that potent combination of entertainment and fear for my life. It’s astounding that they’re still keeping up this façade. 
As time passes, I wonder more and more if they truly believe it or if they’re going full My Immortal with the scam. It’s too outlandish to be real, yet the emotions behind it clearly are.
Sadly, this is nothing new for the world of shippers, nor is it limited to the breeding pair of Twilight. Name a prominent pop culture property and the chances are there are hardcore shippers whose interest goes beyond a fizzy hobby. Some fans truly believe that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are a real couple, which is hysterical because their chemistry levels in the Fifty Shades series are sub-zero. The stars of Outlander face the same shippers. Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are secret lesbian lovers, according to a subset of their fandom. Cate Blanchett will eventually leave her husband and children for Carol co-star Rooney Mara, thus freeing her from an exploitative bearding relationship with Joaquin Phoenix. The Larry fandom have yet to admit defeat, even as both Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson admit the fan delusions over their supposed secret romance hurt their real-life friendship. The Supernatural guys may never shake those conspiracies.
It isn’t all romance related either. Spare a thought for poor Benedict Cumberbatch, whose already overzealous fan-base includes a portion of people who think he was trapped into marriage and fatherhood by his wife, who they paint as the modern-day iteration of Medea. They don’t even think his kids are real. Apparently, one of them is clearly a doll.
I could go on, listing the many other fandoms I’ve come across with these near identical conspiracies of secret relationships, hidden children, public relations bullying, and so on. From Scandal to Orange is the New Black to The Hunger Games, it’s as big a part of fandom as cosplay and dirty fanfiction. A lot of the time, the celebrities being obsessed over don’t even know it’s happening. 
If they call it out, as Robert Pattinson did, or mock it, like Armie Hammer recently did on Instagram after someone DM-d him to claim he should be gay like his character in Call Me By Your Name, then they write that off as simply proving their point. The majority of fans deride and condemn this behaviour, partly because it reflects badly on everyone else but mostly because it’s blatant bullshit that should be treated as such. What is most striking about these myriad conspiracies is how eerily similar they all are in terms of tone and content.
The basic set-up for a tin-hatter shipping conspiracy is thus: The pair are in love, the pair are in a serious relationship, but they have to hide it from the world because of ‘evil PR’. The nature of this shadowy public relations organization is never made clear. It’s mostly rooted in conjecture and a hazy understanding of how the entertainment industry has worked over the decades. 
Historically, publicists and studios have operated with a certain degree of shadiness. In the Golden Era of Hollywood, where studios reigned supreme, a star’s image could be kept on a tight leash and their indiscretions hidden from the public. Fixers like Eddie Mannix (made famous in the Coen Brothers’ movie Hail, Caesar!) could clear up all manner of problems if the occasion called for it. Pregnancies could be hidden, illegal abortions procured, marriages annulled or concealed, and even the occasional murder dealt with (allegedly). We know this stuff happened, and we know that today, publicists do a lot of work to keep their clients happy. That probably doesn’t extend so far as to covering up marriages and multiple pregnancies and fake babies.
The psychologies behind these tin-hatter conspiracies tend to be remarkably similar too. There’s always massive amounts of paranoia at the heart of their delusions. Arrogance is key as well. You need infallible ego to maintain repeatedly debunked fantasies. They talk of their conspiracies as if they’re the most obvious truths in the world, deriding the ‘ignorant masses’ who refuse to see the reality in front of them, which they’ve kindly circled in MS Paint. The mentality is frequently rooted in a strong brand of self-victimization: They tie their theories to social issues like homophobia and claim anyone who opposes their belief that the One Direction guys are in love are clearly bigots. Even when the people in question call out this nonsense, they’re written off as poor closeted prisoners of invincible publicists. The game of tin-hating shippers is designed so that they never lose.
That’s the sad part of this all. They won’t be proven wrong simply because they’ve invested too much of themselves into this fantasy. They run around in circles, desperately claiming everything is against them and only they are smart enough to know the truth. 
If Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan insist they’re just friends, it’s only to throw everyone off the scent. When Tony Goldwyn talks of his love for his wife, it’s just to distract everyone from his romance with Kerry Washington. If Robert Pattinson is smiling in public, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen; if he’s looking a bit down, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen.
When the fantasy does begin to crumble, the tin-hatters get violent in their rhetoric. Taylor Schilling’s rumoured boyfriend briefly deleted his social media after receiving harassment from her fans who think she’s with Laura Prepon (who just had a baby with Ben Foster). Rooney Mara’s so-called fans called her a disgrace for dating a man and claimed she was letting down LGBTQ+ kids everywhere because of it. Robert Pattinson’s then-girlfriend FKA Twigs faced all manner of horrific racist and sexist abuse for simply existing. It can be easy to laugh people like this off, but we’ve also seen what happens to celebrities when their obsessive fans decide to invade their lives. A 19-year-old fan of Lana Del Rey drove cross-country to her house, broke into her garage and tweeted about it. An obsessive fan of Paula Abdul committed suicide outside her house. Rebecca Schaeffer’s stalker shot her on her own doorstep.
Real person shipping (or RPF) doesn’t bother me in theory. If you just treat it like any other fandom hobby - safe, private, clearly fiction - then go for it. There’s a major difference between liking two actors and writing silly fanfiction about them and going to extremes to prove they’re actually married. 
The people who cross that line are a minority, but they’re a loud and insidious minority who shouldn’t be written off as mere ‘crazies’.
This phenomenon is undoubtedly fascinating and reveals a lot about various intersections of celebrity, media, the internet, fandom, and so on. It’s worth keeping an eye on, if only to ensure nobody gets hurt, because it’s not unique to internet culture. This stuff breeds, and that should concern us all.
Now, when do I get my shadowy PR conspiracy cheque?
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