#Twig’s hobbies include: work; work; work; and work

[sincerely-sofie]

twig is honestly so cool. shoutout to the miserable fire lizard who i would absolutely give all my money to. im gonna take her to an amusement park and make her experience some joy and whimsy in her life

Currently editing a chapter starring the world's most miserable Twig ever and I am begging you to take this depressed piece of soggy bread on a whimsical outing. She needs it so badly. She needs it so very very badly.

Don’t give her your money though. She’s kinda disgustingly rich and it’s honestly a little upsetting how wealthy she is.

[lakesbian]

current status of my relationship to twig is that i randomly remembered wildbow including a scene in arc 15 where jessie is interested in/fixated on Train Arrival Times out of like. a tendency to really like precise timing and sy teases her about it and also randomly brings up 'and wgat if the train has hot muscular men in it is that your thing' and she gets kind of flustered instead of clapping back because that's how arc 15 works and i got mad like. actually wildbow i dont think you know jessie well enough to be allowed to give her mildly endearing odd fixations. i dont think youre allowed to decide that she likes trains and train schedules. id ont think you get to pick her hobbies and interests without directly asking me for permission first

[buriedyou]

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐀.

previously found at: fomheir.

Eris is originally from A.COTAR, but I and my friends have retconned the whole series. If you're familiar with A.COTAR/Eris, please don't let the preconceptions of canon blind you while you're interacting with this characterization. This guy has just a few things in common with the source version; otherwise, they are not interchangeable and you can consider this an oc.

FULL NAME: Eris Vanserra EPITHET(S): Heir to the Flame, Autumn Heir, Princeling/Lordling GENDER: Cis-male SPECIES: High Fae HEIGHT: 6'4” AGE: 700+ years old BIRTHDAY: The Fall Equinox

HAIR: Dark auburn, naturally wavy. Cropped a little longer than his pointed ears and typically kept off his face. Without the glamour, his hair is ash-colored and as long as his shoulders, full of leaves and twigs and seemingly wet. EYES: Hazel and rimmed in gold and feline. Without the glamour, fully black eyes including the sclera and bleeding black blooded tears. SKIN TONE: The last dredges of summer-kissed skin fading. Pale skin warmed by the moon. Dusted in sparse freckles. Without the glamour, a sickly pallor is prevalent. BODY TYPE: Lean muscled and tall. Long limbed. VOICE: Dulcet and musical. Drawling and casual and ever full of mischief. Typically speaking in facetious tones, his smug and teasing and trickster nature present in his voice. POSTURE: Befitting of a prince. Without the glamour, there’s obvious pain in the tight string or sometimes low droop of his shoulders and the clench of his hands. SCARS: With the glamour, none. Without the glamour, the corners of his mouth extend with gruesome scars and reveal his sharp-toothed back teeth. His back is covered in whip lashes, some which still do not appear fully healed. He has scars on the back of both his hands and the bottom of his feet from his father’s abuse as well. NOTABLE FEATURE(S): His pointed High Fae ears. His red hair. HIGH LORD BEAST FORM: Large black hound, dog skull for a face, with molting antlers protruding from his head.

HOBBIES: Hunting with his smoke hounds. Reading and learning new things. Fashion. Spellcrafting and herbal work. Faerie wine and connoisseuring. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES: Cursed by his power-greedy father, Eris is unable to fully wield the entirety of his magic abilities. ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral VULNERABILITIES: As all Fae are, Eris is vulnerable to ash wood. Salt and iron are also a weakness which can be used to incapacitate him though they won’t kill him.

CURRENTLY.

the sins of the father. PRESENT DAY. eris is in the midst of his plans to unseat his father from the throne of autumn court, but is waiting for the right timing. until then, he continues to both train and lead the autumn court armies as one of its generals; as well as act as emissary and ambassador, using his courtier skills to navigate the political landscape of the faerie realm to gather intel on the coming rebellion against the night court as well as collecting future allies for his own cause.

QUICK FACTS

eris is the eldest of seven brothers and thus the heir to the faerie court of autumn. the autumn court deals in dark magic, necromancy, and pyromancy among other crafts; though it should be noted that the use of magic is banned for anyone within the court's lands not of the royal family, punishable by death as declared by the high lord. autumn court magic is typical faerie magic where it demands payment for its use; as such, the high lord beron, who uses it constantly, has been growing more and more ill and frail as the centuries pass. the only thing keeping him alive anymore is the magic itself, even as it is killing him.

the vanserra brothers grew up pitted against each other as a means to earn their father's respect and affection and as a result, resentment to the point of violence amongst them was inevitable. abuse at the hands of their father, beron, was rampant; eris did what he could to take most of the punishments during their childhood, but always at the cost of purposefully inflaming his brothers that they would never be at odds with beron for growing close to the eldest son. eris establishes very early on that he will follow in his father's cruel footsteps by forcibly drawing a divide between himself and his younger brothers, all the while fervently protecting them when he can.

eris is especially close to his mother, the lady of autumn, who suffers at the hands of her husband as much as her sons do. she is perhaps the only person alive to know the truth of eris' heart, which he keeps so well hidden between his wickedness and cruelty.

the reputation of the heir to autumn is despicable at best and deliberately crafted that way. still, he is magnetic and cunning, an accomplished commander in the autumn court armies, a skilled hunter and tracker, and a devoted son to his mother. he has 12 hounds which he raised himself to be loyal hunting companions.

autumn court fae can’t lie! not in the traditional sense anyway. they can exaggerate (and often speak hyperbolically!) and they can spin circles to avoid landing directly on the truth and they can trick as much as they please (and most often do whether they intend to avoid the truth or not!) but they cannot lie. the only thing is that most not from autumn don’t actually know this to be a fact anymore as it’s another thing to have cycled so much through the sifting ages that it’s often believed to be something the humans made up about fae in general which actually works really well for autumn court anyway. if asked a direct yes or no question, they have to blatantly ignore the question to avoid telling the truth which just gives them away anyway. so no literal lying.

eris has 12 scottish deerhounds all of whom he rescued as a full litter when their mother birthed them, and consequently died, in his father’s stables. beron would have killed them had eris not interfered. he’s raised them himself and they have grown into a pack of exceptionally talented, with the exception of one, the runt, which he gifted his mate, vasilis.

if beron is dying, why doesn't eris just easily kill him/why don't his sons/court rise up against him? fear for one thing. for eris in particular, it's the timing. he is "working for" his father within his court, but under the table he is securing alliances and putting out feelers to those who would be loyal to a court no longer ruled by beron. there are many who are loyal to beron whether by fear or similar ideals and eris has to be very careful when navigating the political waters.

ALT VERSES TBD...

[panzershrike-pretz]

top five ocs :3

Lou you like to make me suffer???? It would be easier if this was like. A top 50 ocs 😭😭😭 i can't possibly choose only 5 🥲👍 (i'm lying)

Since I have Too Many Characters(TM), I'll narrow it down to choose between the 92 (oof) that already have ther ref sheets drawn :] and this is in no particular order, it's just numbered to look pretty,,,

1. Pangea Coldwell

She's a fairly recent character I created back in 2022. She's Peggy's handler, and a second world war medic (i was in my biggest WWII era at the time). She's a gentle and kind woman, with a big heart but almost no patience at all; usually seen as smart by her peers and fast-to-act, despite whatever's in he way.

Despite her interest in medicine, she's extremely fond of ice-skating, acting, singing and reading - some of her favorite hobbies that don't include her insane dog.

Her power is that of future-sighting, though it's not nowhere near as strong as Horace's. She sees only bits and pieces based on probability, normally of the immediate future (at most, she sees only a few hours ahead, while Horace can see years in advance).

2. Peggy

The absolute sensation. My baby. THE stupidest thing to ever walk this planet. Precious bean. The devil's child, born to put everything in her mouth (and hopefully eat it before dying). The one and only:

Peggy, the Belgian Mallinois is a medical-rescue war dog owned by Pangea. Don't worry, she's dumb even while at work. She has a magical shield against projectiles, so she's a walking barrier (RIP for everyone who tries to hit her with a shoe while she howls and barks)

Things that she eated included (but are not limited to): frogs, fish, insects, rocks, shoes, bones she found where bones shouldn't be, twigs, a dead starfish, baby turtle, tried to eat a crab but failled, a hat, her own leash at least 3 timess, wood, alcoholic beverages (she's fiiiiiine), a mushroom, triessd to eat a snake, etc.

3. Constance Ezebel

The Goddess of Oceans and Curses. I consider her to be one of the strongest Gods among my characters; she's as ancient as water.

Since she was cursed to stay stuck on a Loop in Tortuga, unable to be free at sea again, she takes her anger in those who choose the waters to be their homes. She controls floods and storms, but also when fishing is good and the seas are calm. The fate of all who chose the sea lie within her hands - and those of her se monsters and creatures, who do her biding.

She's a fucking bitch who never does anything for free and usually only accepts stuff if it's paid with a soul or sacrifice,,, she also throws the best parties so she's forgiven :3 and she's half goat so she's cool

4. Stiggy the Stygimoloch

He was just a joke I turned real. He's extremely OP (the indistructable, extremely agresssives and immortal little dinosaur. Who is VERY little and VERY angry) that I turned canon because I love him so much xD

His first appearance was back in 2019 (you see, he's OLD). His backstory is that all the anger in the universe fuels him and he was created by the Gods as a weapon or something. Anyway the only person who he listens to is Miss Kestrel

He's my fave joke character and i'm very glad I made him canon (even if he lives in a forest in the middle of nowhere without ever being interacted with xD)

5. Athena Crow

Death and Freedom Goddess! One of my mains like Pangea and Peggy! Blithe's iresponsible First Mate and Constance's biggest pain in the ass (Athena cursed her to be forever stuck on land and Constance cursed Athena to forever roam the seas. They are bestfriends but also hate each other's guts)

I have SO MANY thoughts about this woman it's unreal,,,,, I love how much of an annoyance she is in general. Alway here to make a fool of herself and have people questioning why the fuck they follow her

Form this I discovered that: of my favorites the only one who is not a complete and utter imbecile is Pangea. Good for her 🤡👍

[dogmomwrites]

15 Questions, oc edition

This tag came a while ago from @autumnalwalker, so thanks for including me in this game!

Passing it on with soft tags to @pixelw0rds, @eponymoussquared, @indecentpause, @songsofsomnia, and @writernopal, as well as leaving it an open tag! Rules—just answer the questions in bold for one of your OCs and tag however many people as you’d like to. Empty template is under the cut

These answers are for Arial of my Castle series

Are you named after anyone?  My grandmother. My parents didn’t want to just take her name though, so they changed it a little. My gran’s name was Ariadne 

When was the last time you cried?  A couple days ago, but I had good reason to!  (author’s note: she watched a baby bird learning to fly) 

Do you have kids?  Oh gosh, no! I’m only eighteen! ...but I kinda want a couple when I’m older. Maybe two or three? 

Do you use sarcasm a lot?  Not as often as some people I know 

What’s the first thing you notice about people?  Um, that kinda depends on the situation 

What’s your eye color?  Brown. Or black. Hold on, my interviewer has to go check the document...they’re brown 

Scary movies or happy endings?  Happy endings all the way! Scary movies are, well...scary. And I don’t much like being scared 

Any special talents?  Not really. I can bake a few different things, and everyone says I’m really good at it 

Where were you born?  In the Infirmary in Telenar 

What are your hobbies?  I like making crafts; my mom taught me how to do a lot with just flowers, rope, and a few twigs, and we get bones, claws, feathers, antlers, hooves, and scraps of hide from the hunters and butchers. My favorite to work with are crystals though! 

Have you any pets?  I have three birds! A baby blue budgie named Pretty Boy, a green and yellow budgie named Sunny, and Pebble, a crow I sneaked into the house when it was young and actually got to keep 

What sports do you play/have played?  I was never very sporty, but I played kickball and netball when I was younger. I’m better at small golf, which figures because I think it’s kinda boring 

How tall are you?  Five foot, one inch (155cm) 

Favorite subject in school?  When we were younger, we had arts and crafts classes—those were always fun! 

Dream job?  I haven’t thought that far ahead...there’s so many options, how do I choose? Where do I even start? I like making my crafts, but I always thought it would be really neat to be an explorer, but I also really like tending to gardens and animals, but I always wanted to do something that would get me an invitation to the annual ball, but I always wanted to be a member of a guild or something because that would just be neat, I think, but—

empty template

Are you named after anyone? 

When was the last time you cried? 

Do you have kids? 

Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

What’s the first thing you notice about people? 

What’s your eye color? 

Scary movies or happy endings? 

Any special talents? 

Where were you born? 

What are your hobbies? 

Have you any pets? 

What sports do you play/have played? 

How tall are you? 

Favorite subject in school? 

Dream job?

[joyner111]

unique wedding rings：beautiful way for couples to express their love and commitment

Unique wedding rings are a special way for couples to express their individuality and celebrate their unique love story. These rings often go beyond traditional designs and materials, incorporating custom elements and features that make them one-of-a-kind.

One of the most popular ways to create unique wedding rings is to customize the design. Couples can work with a jeweler to design a ring that incorporates elements that are meaningful to them, such as birthstones, engravings, or symbols that represent their relationship. This allows them to create a ring that is truly personal and reflects their love for each other.

Another way to make a wedding ring unique is to choose non-traditional materials. While gold, silver, and platinum are still popular choices, many couples are opting for alternative metals such as titanium, tungsten, or even wood or silicone. These materials offer a modern and stylish look, and can be just as durable and long-lasting as traditional metals.

Gemstones are also a popular way to add uniqueness to a wedding ring. Diamonds are still a classic choice, but many couples are opting for colored gemstones that represent their personal preferences or the colors of their wedding theme. Sapphires, rubies, and emeralds are just a few examples of the many beautiful options available.

Some couples are even incorporating elements of their shared hobbies or interests into their wedding rings. For example, a couple who loves the outdoors might choose a ring with a rustic or natural design, or one that incorporates elements of nature such as leaves, twigs, or stones.

In addition to the ring itself, many couples are also choosing to customize the packaging and presentation of their wedding rings. This can include personalized boxes, engraving on the inside of the ring, or even creating a special storybook or keepsake that tells the story of their love and the significance of their rings.

Overall, unique wedding rings are a beautiful way for couples to express their love and commitment to each other in a way that is truly personal and meaningful. By incorporating custom elements and non-traditional materials, couples can create rings that are as unique as their love story.

[more-than-a-princess]

Sonia led Selene to the ring carefully, opting for silence in her father's wake. If only due to the fact that the stablehands had begun to notice just how much time the Princess had spent with the horses during the past 24 hours. It was unlike her, particularly in her adult years and even more so during the little bit of holiday she was afforded now that she worked full-time for the Royal Family. Sonia used every bit of it to her leisure: catching up on an anime or a romantic drama, bingeing a series of horror movies, reading some thrilling horror novel or a terribly salacious gothic romance. She'd ride Persephone, yes, but it was only a small part of her day.

Nothing like devoting the bulk of her daylight hours to a horse, and a new recruit she spoke to in earnest at that. Everyone who worked for the Novoselic Royal Family had to sign dozens upon dozens of NDAs, some of which included that they kept their mouths shut and cameras off as to what went on the household, including the eccentric hobbies Princess Sonia engaged in. Add talking to animals like they were humans to that list, Sonia supposed, as she undid the latch to the gate and guided the horse inside.

"We will start slowly today, as we do not have much time after getting you examined by the vet and shoed," Sonia explained, still believing the horse could understand her as she unclipped the shorter rope from Selene's harness and exchanged it for a longer lead, one that extended nearly five meters in length. "We will begin with the verbal commands and see how you do, essential skills before I try to put a saddle and bridle on you. I wonder if you have worn either before?"

Barring some dirt and twigs from her time in the woods, Selene was in relatively good condition health-wise, leading Sonia to believe that someone had looked after her. Someone now very far away, very uninterested in claiming her, or both. It was good she was found, then, and by a family who had the means to look after her properly. And to begin training her, something any horse in the family's stables would require.

"Very well," Sonia continued, checking that the leash clip was locked in place before leading the horse to the center of the ring. "Let us begin with the easiest two commands: walking and stopping. Walk on, Selene." She guided the horse in a clockwise direction, gently tugging on the lead in order to get her to walk. She'd give her some slack once she began moving. "Now stop, Selene." Sonia paused in the circle she'd been walking, hoping to prompt the horse to pause her larger circle as well.

'Back up,' 'turn left,' and 'turn right' were soon added, repeated over and over until she was satisfied that the horse could move with her verbal command. "Let's try a trot now, hm?" Sonia suggested, after crossing the ring to the fenced edge. One of the stablehands had left a bottle of water for her alongside the half-full water trough for Selene, so they could both pause for a well-deserved drink. "Come on, we still have a little time before I must return you to the stables." Leading her back to the center of the ring, Sonia then commanded Selene to trot, demonstrating the brisk but not bolting pace she wanted from her.

"Good, very good!" Sonia exclaimed as she slowly guided Selene into a stop. The horse was certainly working harder, but that didn't take away from the fact that the princess had gotten quite a workout in herself. "You are very good with commands, Miss Selene. I wonder if your previous humans had started to train you before we met?" She led the horse to the edge of the ring again for water and, as a treat, two full-sized carrots, held out flat in the palm of Sonia's hand.

Just as the Apple Watch she wore began to beep. More effective than a member of staff taking time out of their busy day to remind her of her schedule, particularly on days when the family was hosting some event or other. A ball certainly counted, Sonia thought as she groaned gently, shutting off the alarm.

"That will be all for today, unfortunately," She said aloud, winding up the longer lead and exchanging it with the shorter one on Selene's harness. "We will have to wait for cantering, and testing your ability to handle a saddle and bridle, for another day. I hope you will not dislike either too much: some horses do not take to bearing a human rider or a bit in their mouths well. That will make it difficult for you to stay if that is the case, I am afraid." She patted Selene's neck, her long face, her muzzle, even testing the waters and petting her very carefully behind the ears, a notoriously sensitive part of a horse.

"And I cannot work with you every day, either," Sonia admitted as she began to lead her out of the ring and back to the stables. "Royal duties call, and horseback riding is much more of a hobby or pastime than it is a part of daily life nowadays. If only it was two centuries ago, hm? Though honestly, I rather think I'd be miserable based on the severe lack of rights for women alone. I cannot imagine being a man's property, but I suppose it is a bit crass to mention such a disdain in front of you. I apologize."

She waved to the stablehands, indicating she would be done working with Selene for the day and it was time to feed, water, and groom her, allowing her a well-deserved rest. "I will try to visit as much as I am able, though I cannot promise much," Sonia assured her, patting her muzzle once more before closing the door to her stable. "Sometimes being a princess does resemble something of a fairytale: we have balls to attend but no honest and goodhearted princes to meet. At least I have yet to meet one. Take care, my friend."

The princess posed a question, and she felt compelled to answer. Remaining silent would only embarrass the princess, and that was the last thing she wanted to do—she couldn't bear the thought of making her look foolish in front of her father, the king. So, recalling the lesson from the previous night, she stomped her hoof into the ground: once for yes, twice for no, to respond to the princess's inquiry with a simple reply that she could manage, a yes to prove that her words are the truth and the king needed to believe them.

Her gaze flickered to the king, who appeared less than pleased with his daughter. Yet here was the princess, choosing to spend her time with her, and it seemed she was in a bit of trouble—trouble that felt like it was her fault. For a moment, she felt trapped in the midst of the royal family's bickering, caught in their disputes with no clear way out.

She didn't want the princess to face any more trouble because of her. If her presence was going to bring the princess grief, she would rather be sent away than complicate things further and make problems that are not needed.

It appeared the king had no choice; the princess had made her case, and he quickly folded, seemingly outmatched in this game with her. He granted her wish to stay, albeit under strict conditions that she noted carefully. If the princess struggled to manage her time and responsibilities, then it would fall to her to keep the princess on track and ensure she stayed true to her duties.

It was undeniably captivating to stand before a king and a princess, a rare experience that few could claim. Witnessing their interactions, away from the prying eyes of the world, felt like stepping into a living fairy tale. She felt a deep sense of gratitude for the princess, who had chosen to support her when it would have been easy to turn away. This act of kindness provided her with a comforting sense of security, especially when she could have easily succumbed to her father's wishes.

The mother had her expectations, and she made a mental note of the time her daughter was expected to return. 

This thought lingered in her mind as she observed the king, who had just shared his thoughts and feelings before walking away. The princess had stood up for her, a gesture that was both heartwarming and reassuring. She found solace in the fact that, despite her uncertain future, she had a roof over her head for a few days, and the princess continued to advocate for her. When she didn’t truly need to do such a thing. As she kept watching, ears standing tall, flickering back and forth lightly as she would listen to them converse with one another, finding the entire thing, surreal in a way to be seeing a royal conversation, even partaking, somewhat within it.

As she watched the king place something small and white into the princess's hand, her curiosity piqued. It was a peculiar cube, and she listened intently as the princess and the king spoke once more. Her ears perked up, but her gaze remained fixed on the cube. When the princess offered it to her, she leaned down, sniffed it, and took it eagerly. It was a sugar cube! The sweetness burst in her mouth, a delightful treat that felt like a small slice of happiness amidst the uncertainty. It was simply wonderful in every way imaginable.

Her ears had swiveled back and forth, listening to the sound of the metal on metal, watching this human with a mix of skepticism and curiosity. The smell of iron and leather filled the air, a smell that was almost comforting to then both but was new to her. She flinched at first when the man took her leg but she had felt no pain, only a gentle tug and a sense of pressure. The princess thankfully talked to her the whole time, whispering sweet nothings, telling her she'd be okay, that this was all for her own good. The man, for his part, was meticulous, his eyes never leaving his work, his hands steady.

The first shoe was in place, and she tentatively put her weight on it. It felt strange, but not unpleasant. She shifted her weight, getting used to the feel of the cold metal against her sole. He moved to her other hoof, and she held it out almost willingly now, understanding that she could trust this strange creature who was changing her so fundamentally. The second shoe took a bit longer, as she grew more and more curious. She tried to peek around, to see what was happening, but she was unable, she merely heard chuckles and saw him working.  With the second shoe in place, she took a tentative step forward, then another, just to see. The clomping of her hooves on the stone floor echoed into her ears as she looked down. It would be like watching a butterfly emerge from a cocoon, except the butterfly was a majestic creature of power and grace, not something fragile and flighty as the rest was finished in hardly any time.

When it came to the question her eyes searched hers, and she took the quiet nod as a silent agreement that she would do this, but she was not sure what she would be good at. The walk to the ring was uneventful, the stone path cool against her hooves, and the clocking sound rings out. The ring itself was a strange thing to see. It was enclosed by a wooden fence, tall enough to prevent any escape but open enough to allow for a clear view of the castle in the background. The castle's grandeur didn't seem to intimidate her, nor did the sounds of the bustling activity outside the stable walls.

As she followed the princess inside the ring, her ears pricked up, alert to the change in environment. As she followed and would move with the princess with the lead being long enough to walk around the ring in a circle. As she shows that she can obey commands, and her movements are tentative yet graceful. Her muscles tensed and released with each step, a silent dance of strength and obedience. The wind picked up, carrying with it the scent of the nearby flowers and the distant sound of life in the castle and outside. Her mane fluttered in the breeze, and she gave a small snort, as if acknowledging the beauty of the day and that she was finally going to show the princess what she could do.

[treeservicetacoma]

Step-by-Step Guide for Tree Trimming Like a Pro

Are your trees looking a bit unruly? Have you wanted to learn how to trim them yourself but don't know where to start? Look no further! Today, we're here to give you an in-depth guide on what it takes and what tools are needed for proper tree trimming. With this step-by-step guide, you too can become a tree trimming pro, giving your yard the neat and professional look that will turn heads! So let's start -you will want to catch all of it!

Step-by-Step Guide for Tree Trimming Like a Pro

Preparing to trim your trees is an important part of the process. Properly assessing what needs to be trimmed and what tools you need are important steps for a successful job. It's also a good idea to obtain any Tree Trimming Tacoma permits or permissions from the local authorities before beginning any tree work. With that in mind, let's dive into the details!

Step 1: Assess the Tree

The first step is to assess the tree you're planning on trimming. Look for dead, diseased, or broken branches that must be removed to promote healthy growth and prevent further damage. You should also take note of any suckers or water sprouts that may have grown since your last trimming session. This will help you determine the shape and size of your final project.

Step 2: Gather Your Supplies

Now that you know what needs to be trimmed, it's time to gather your supplies! The essential tools for tree trimming include a good pair of pruning shears, a hand saw, safety goggles, and gloves. It's also a good idea to have a ladder and some rope for tying off any large branches.

Step 3: Start Trimming

When you're ready to trim, begin with the larger branches first. Carefully cut away any dead or diseased wood using your pruning shears or hand saw. Tie off any large limbs with rope and use the ladder for higher branches.

Step 4: Finishing Touches

Once the larger branches are taken care of, you can trim any smaller branches or twigs. Be careful not to over-trim, as this can cause permanent damage to your tree's overall shape. Instead, focus on light shaping and balancing out the branches for a more aesthetically pleasing look.

Step 5: Clean Up

Once you're finished Tree Trimming, it's time for the clean-up! Collect any debris and dispose of them properly. Also, check the ground around the tree for any remaining twigs or leaves. With that done, your trees should now look neat!

Step 6: Maintain Your Trees

Tree trimming isn't a one-time job; staying on top of regular maintenance is important to keep your trees looking their best. Aim to trim your trees at least once a year and watch for any potential issues requiring attention. With proper care, you can ensure that your trees remain healthy and beautiful for many years.

Step 7: Enjoy!

Now that you've successfully trimmed your trees, it's time to sit back and enjoy the view. Spend time admiring all your hard work, and be proud of how great your yard looks now! Tree trimming may become one of your new favorite hobbies.

There you have it- a step-by-step guide for tree trimming like a pro. With the right tools and knowledge, you, too, can turn your trees into a neat and healthy landscape feature.

Things To Keep in Mind While Tree Trimming

Keep the following in mind while you trim your trees:

Ensure to get any necessary permits or permissions from the local authorities before beginning any tree work.

Be sure to wear protective gear, such as safety glasses and gloves, when handling tools.

Avoid over-trimming trees; focus on light shaping and balancing out the branches for a more aesthetically pleasing look.

Aim to trim your trees at least once a year and watch for any potential issues that may require attention.

Dispose of all debris properly and clean up any mess around the tree.

By following these steps, you can ensure that you properly care for your trees and create a beautiful landscape. So go ahead, grab your tools, and get trimming! You'll be a tree-trimming pro in no time.

Conclusion

Tree trimming can seem daunting, but you can easily become an expert with the right tools and knowledge. This step-by-step guide for tree trimming in Tacoma like a pro will help you confidently make your trees look their best. Remember to get any necessary permits, wear protective gear, avoid over-trimming, and maintain regular maintenance - and you'll be good to go! So grab your tools and get trimming - you're sure to make your yard look amazing!

[spidergutz-writes]

@strawberryscentedknife ⬅️ this blog writes for mha so well! You should totally check them out!!!!!

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HOW MANY REQUESTS DO I HAVE?: 4

Welcome to my side/writing blog!

this blog is where I will be writing my fanfics, imagines, head cannons, and more!

FANDOMS I WRITE FOR

My hero academia!

Tokyo ghoul!

any slashers! (Except for Freddy Kruger and penny wise)

MW2 JHONNY ‘SOAP’ , SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY, KÖNIG, AND CAPTION JOHN PRICE, ALEJANDRO, RUDY, AND MAKAROV.

Demon slayer!

naruto characters!

DHMIS

payday2 but only for, CLOAKER, AND TASER

apex legends!

creepypasta!

as I write more, I will add more fandoms!

don’t be afraid to ask for characters outside of these set fandoms! I might do them!

although if I don’t, please understand that I will have my reasons, wether it be :

I don’t know how to write for the character

I don’t feel comfortable writing for them

Or I simply don’t feel up to do your request (rare, but is liable to happen, please understand)

DNI IF YOU ARE

Under the age of 16

a TERF

homophobic, or transphobic

If you support beastal!ty get tf out of here

there will probably be more that I’ll add on here, but for now that’s it.

please understand and respect my boundaries as I don’t feel comfortable having anyone under the age of 16 reading my things.

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THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT ME: I have hypersomnia, which basically means I’m always tired, and it’s borderline narcolepsy for me at this point, sometimes I have what I like to call “sleep episodes” where I sleep 24/7, likely for a couple of days or a week or two. Please be paitent with me as I can’t control it.

THINGS I WILL WRITE

Gore! :>

NSFW

SFW

headcannons!

Drabbles!

matchups!

angst!!!

Platonic relationships!

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matchups will need to include:

the fandom you want.

what gender you want.

lil ol facts about you.

small description of yourself.

your personality, hobbies, wants and needs in life.

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things I will NOT write

pregnancy/parenting

incest

pedoph|L|a

suicide (I’ll write mentions of suicide, but not the actual action of it happening)

R@pe (NCN is okay with me to a VERY strict extent)

Sexual aššault

Oc x Ooc (sorry, I just can’t ever see myself writing for someone else’s OC)

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harsh kinks like:

piss

scat

any other kink that involves bodily fluids that don’t involve, cum or spit, or blood

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things I will consider writing:

mentions of ræpe (I.E flashback/mentions of it happening in the past, or if goes well along with any type of specific gore, I might do it)

step siblings stuff

food fetish that only include: candy, whipped cream, or chocolate syrup. Anything else is a hard NO

drunk sex

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PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT BE COMPLETELY VAUGE WITH YOUR REQUESTS, I NEED SOME SORT OF FOUNDATION TO WORK WITH. I CANT MAKE A CASTLE WITH A BUNCH OF TWIGS. IM NOT MAGIC, THEREFORE, I CONNOT READ YOUR MIND.

:> —————————

I will update this from time to time, so be sure to check often!

if you don’t follow my boundaries and such, and send in an ask, I’ll understand, but i will ask that you read this.

if it happens a second time I’m deleting your ask all together, and blocking you if it happens a third time.

[sunmoon-starfactory]

Straight As An Arrow - Functional Archery 

That’s right, it’s here! Finally! Let your sim show off their dexterity(mechanical skill) with Functional Archery! With both a variety of bows and targets sims can work on that mechanical skill to gain fabulous prizes by eventually being able to compete in tournaments! Or they can just watch from the sidelines.Not to mention correcting that mistake of leaving archery out of TS2.

I want to give a special shout out to @nixedsims (NixNivis) for helping me with this project from the very beginning. This station was my (Frac) ambition and Sunni wasn't confident at the time with complex accessory use so she gave me encouragement and a blessing to seek out help. That brought me to Nix who at the time had done the TSM training dummies with varying swords...so I went seeking for help from her and she agreed with much excitement!

We went through many changes, had to rebuild things a few times, and all the while handle the various things real life was throwing at us which meant we had to take a few breaks. It wasn't easy, we were discouraged sometimes...but we did it Nix! Our baby is here! You'll always have my thanks and gratitude for your helping and not letting me give up on this dream. 

I wanted to start the year with a positive note...this is that note. Happy New Year’s Everyone!

See below the cut/at the Keep for more detail and use instructions. Required Files: Easy Inventory Check

Download - SFS

Download/View - The Keep

Extra Credits and Thanks: Fire_flower, HodgeKiss, Ocelotekatl, Raynuss, Eir, Niam_h, Sonniku, Maxis, TS3, TSM, Skyrim, TellTale, Nexus

Practice Archery When a sim has a mechanical (dexterity) skill level of 3 or higher, they may being practicing archery. New archers take more time to line up their shots and also miss more of their shots than seasoned archers, so Sims will gradually become speedier and more accurate at their shots as their skill grows. During a practice shoot, Sims will take a total of 3 shots that are randomized. This action builds mechanical skill. Sims may also practice archery autonomously. Shoot For Tournament When a sim has a mechanical (dexterity) skill level of 7 or higher, they may begin competing in tournaments and even may win a prize if they’re lucky. During a tournament shoot, Sims will take a total of 5 shots that are randomized. Depending on their success of shots they can get 1 of 4 outcomes: 1. They play well and are given a positive message. 2. They play poorly and are given a negative message. 3. They manage to make a Bullseye on shot four. This will win a sim a Coin purse prize. 4. They manage to make a Split on shot five. This will win a sim a Golden Arrow trophy. The first two are merely flavor text and at times do not correlated directly to the positions on the board or the amount of hit/misses they make; they will only trigger if a Sim does not get a Bullseye or a Split. Watch Tournament When a tournament is happening, Sims will autonomously gather around to watch the competition. They will randomly boo/cheer until tournament is over. This action has no effect on relationships and is not correlated to how well a Sim is doing.

Targets All targets function the same. Most target subsets are repositoried to the Wall Hanging Target while controlling their own stand recolor. The Dummy, Hay Bales, Log Slab, TS3 Archer's Gauntlet, and TS1 Range are all standalone.

Prizes Both the Coin Purse and Golden Arrow will appreciate in value over time if left out on a shelf/display.

Inventory Tools Each Inventory Tool Bow has two states; laying down and standing up. This is purely aesthetic, and all can be shifted up/down. There are seven choice;  1. Long Bow, 2. Elegant Carved Bow, 3. Fantasy Compound Bow, 4. Fancy Recurve Bow, 5. Simple Bow, 6. Bound Twigs Bow, 7. Wilderness Bow. If a sim does not have a tool bow in their inventory, they will defaultly use the Rental Bow.

Vendor To obtain a bow, currently only a vendor offers them as an import option until the local bower/fletcher comes into town. A bit pricier than normal, but not too much. Otherwise all bows can be obtained from the Collection File for their normal prices and will be available from later stations. 

Details • All items visible in hood view • Items found in the buy catalog under Hobbies -> Recreation • Collection file included • Compressorized

[asagao-4]

I hope you all enjoy this story I wrote on this prompt, I don't recall proof reading it if you have any advice of suggestions I will happily except them.

The prompt I was given: You are blind folded and being led through some woods. Describe what you can hear, smell and taste.

The wind is cold around me, the sound of trees rustling in the wind surrounding me along with some bird chirping and the occasional claw of crows. The smell of pine fills my nose, it's cool but not cold and dry. The ground solid underneath my feet, dirt, gravel, moss, Which is it? There's a clear sound of crunch in my step but it's also flat plain every few steps. We've been walking for a while now for at least fifteen or more minutes.

"Ian, where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see Samuel" he responded to me as he crept behind me putting both his hands firmly on my shoulders edging me forward at a faster pace than before.

His grip is tight. It kinda hurts, but why would he take me out here? It's sunset and I've never been here before or even heard him mention it before. It's eerily odd because he always talks about all the places he's been to and this doesn't sit right with me. Kim did say that he was off from the start and that she heard he had some odd hobbies, maybe going to the woods to get some fresh air was one of them. After all he loved to draw, he's always sketching landscapes and places he's been to or seen. That would explain why he brought a backpack of his own with him and told me to grab some things of my own including a notebook and sketchbook. He was taking me to draw, right? I can hear the stuff in his bag move around every few steps. Pencils, paper, his thermas, and some unknown items. I can't quite tell what he has on him entirely, but I mostly can hear the rattle of pencils and paper rubbing together with some unknown clanking there. There's the sound of the water in his themas splashing.

We kept the same pace for what felt like forever how much time had gone by all I know is that it was quite a bit and it was getting excessive. The path seems to be fading, aren't we gonna stop somewhere? He didn't say anything about this place before did he? His right hand leaves my shoulder, then there's a click. I recognize it's his pocket compass. I've always wondered why he had it all the time he dodged it every time I'd ask about it or his watch. The wind picked back up for a minute, causing my hair to sway more than usual. it didn't make it any better that he proceeded to go even faster taking a sudden sharp left turn. Twigs snapped under my feet and brush surrounded them too, like I was stepping in a bush. Did we leave the path, what's happening? By now the few birds from earlier are now completely silent.

"Did we le-" I started

"Have I told you about how much I love mushrooms Samuel" he introjected. He doesn't normally do that, but things have had a few changes since we've been engaged. He's been more comfortable with me.

"Yes, you have a lot of times, dear" I responded.

Now that I think about it he has mentioned he likes to look at the mushrooms in the woods and this must be one of the places he's talked about before.

"Why did we leave the path?" I asked him.

I felt him lean over my shoulder and to my ear, it wasn't hard for him considering the height difference between us after I was merely five foot and he was five foot ten I think. He let out a warm breath causing me to shiver slightly, which made him chuckle lightly. After all it was a thing we would do to each other as a childish joke when the other least expected it.

"I have a special area out here I've been working on for a while now in fact I lived out here before I moved states to live in the city, I'd thought you'd want to see it. I've even made a cottage." He softly spoke into my ear sending a shiver down my spine. He never mentioned this before though he never did like talking about the past he'd always say the past is in the past and we should live in the here and now instead of dwelling of past events. After all it's called the present for a reason. I like that way of thinking about life, since ours lives are short we might as well try to enjoy them.

The brush around my feet began to get thicker as we continued through the forest the smell started to change to a little more like vinilla. The smell of pine fading and the brush seemed to thin a lot the ore we continued. I can hear a either a stream or river in the distance too. It happened quicker than I thought it would and stopped my train of thought instantaneously.

" Almost there, do you smell the oak trees, the vinilla. It's odd how similar the smell is to vinilla but it's nice. Don't you think so?" He said said head still next to my ear. Why does he feel the need to whisper, no one else is anywhere close to us, and this close distance is starting to bother me more and more. He's breathing down my neck, he could just hold my hand and lead me along instead, why is he doing this. This whole trip he's been acting more and more strange, it's starting to scare me. After all I took vacation time off work to come here with him, that it wherever this is.also yeah sure he's been acting weird,but I wouldn't tell him that in fear of hurting his feelings now he'd might just turn back and if miss a crucial memory with him. We've been walking for such a long time my feet are starting to hurt it must be completely dark by now anyways why would I want to turn back now. It's creeping me out that's why, what if something comes at us, but if we turn back it might end up being worse.

"Hey Ian," I begin

"Yes?"

"Aren't you scared that something might try and attack us?" I proceeded to ask voice almost trembling, "also can't I take the blind fold off now it's dark anyways" I state.

He took a breath sighing then continued with, "No I'm not scared of that happening because we're just about there and we can sleep in the cottage too. Also I can't have you take the blind fold off yet because the reason I waited till night to bring you here is because the surprise can only be seen properly in the dark so just wait patiently dear, for a few more minutes. Please." Finishing he finally moved away from my ear which took a bit of the anxiety away not that I'm worried about him, he's the sweetest man I've ever met.

"Hmm, m'kay then" I hummed in response

It was quiet for a while only the rattle of the things in his bag and the brush snapping or moving when we'd step. This time instead of reaching for something in his pocket he lightly picked up my hair, some of the thin brown strands falling back down.

"Your hair is really nice and pretty. It's soft and smooth to the touch, you take care of it so well. Such a nice gorgeous brown, so long too." He said

I can't blame him though he's complained about his a lot but still refuses to let me help him fix or change it. It's still soft and it's fluffy because of the slight curls. After a while of thinking and walking along I had either zoned out or got lost in thought because the brush was gone and he'd stopped me and looped around in front of me, taking my hand gently and leading me forward once more. His hand is slightly roughed up but it's soft and gentle. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, he stopped. Letting my hand go he reached behind my head he slowly untied the blindfold and held it. I open my eyes to a dark abyss. How did he manage to navigate like this?

"You can turn around now" he said

Turning around it's not so dark anymore there's mushrooms that cover the trees and a log pile illuminated the space with a bright green hue. The cabin lay ahead the door frames with mushrooms along with what looked like to be the original wood frame that the mushrooms grew on. It was an oak wood frame with mushrooms carved into it that contrasts with the logs that lead off. The cabin was covered in mushroom, lycan, moss, vines, some berry bushes, and what looked like hydrangea bushes. We're in a clearing in the woods completely surrounded by nature, the moon covered by the very few clouds there were. Though still shining enough to make the creek and lake shimmer in all of it's glory. Overall this place is beautiful. Who knew this was even out here. Words can't quite describe this place I'm speechless.

Ian let out a amused chuckle, "I'm guessing you like it judging by your silence"

"Yeah" I replied with a heavy exhale

I had turned around to look at him, he's smiling a soft, gentle, genuine smile. It's been a while since he had a genuine smile at home due to the overwhelming amount of work there is. I was getting worried about nothing earlier. He was just excited to show me this.

It's been a few hours now and we're laying down in bed, but why does something still feel off. I know there isn't anything wrong with this place there couldn't be. I shouldn't ponder these things I just need to sleep. Yeah, sleep, just sleep all I need is to sle-.

There's a lot of shuffling, " did you lose your phone or something, I told you to stop falling asleep with it every night," I said with a sigh.

Speaking of sleep, when and how did I fall asleep earlier, oh well I must have been more tired than I thought. After all, we were walking until I thought my feet were going to fall off. In fact they still hurt. I'm usually used to being on my feet but I've been too exhausted lately. The shuffling is still happening, " Ian let me help you look for- '' I cut off my sentence right away. He was sitting there looking at me. It's creepy and freaking me out but before I can even think about getting out of bed or away from the situation he spoke.

" Samuel I have a question" he stated

"Yeah?" I answered still shaking

He was blunt and straight to his point, " Would you die for me?"

"What? I mean yes, yes I love you dearly Ian." I panicked though it's not a lie if it came down to it I would.

He chuckled and grinning ear to ear his head tilted to the side, " oh that's great, I finally found someone" his tone almost sinister

I'm officially scared now," how is that great, found someone what does that mean, you're scaring me Ian why are we really how far out are we?" My words were fast and frightened , trembling, " who are you and what did you do to my fiance Ian, this isn't you I know it isn't." I don't want to believe that this is really him, my fiance . It can't be, I refuse to believe it.

"Don't worry it's me, everything is fine, but I have another question," he continued, getting even closer than before.

"What's the question?" I quickly answered panicked, what's the plan? What should I do? He's not gonna do anything. Is this all a joke, right?

" Will you commit a double suicide with me" he asked me tone with glee, I'm stuck why would he ask that I'm too shocked to answer what are you even menat to say to a question like that, "that's all I want. Someone that cares enough to die with me to join me in the afterlife. I don't want to be alone. Plus what if there is none I don't want to leave the one I love behind" he had started to elaborate.

" Ian, what drove you to this?" I asked, instantly regretting it.

"My husband, well my dead husband. He killed himself years ago. He wanted me to find someone that truly loved or cared about me, someone I deserved he didn't want to burden me anymore. How could I disrespect his wishes and go against them? Someone's life is something you can't get back once it's gone. Leave your life in someone else's hands isn't always the best but here and now I'll gladly die with you if you agree." He was on a rant though he gladly cut himself off," so what'll it be Samuel?"

It's a life or death situation isn't it if I say yes he won't really go through with it will he, but if I say no what will happen then, "n-no" I stuttered out what was that I didn't mean to oh no what's going to happen now. His face was quickly clouded with anger, betrayed, disappointed.

"Another no, how many will it take."

"Another no, Ian. Were there others,where are the others?" Now I have no idea where we are. It's pitch dark outside, at least 5 miles into an unknown forest. My phone is dead and even if it was working there's no service out here.

"In that case, how do you feel about becoming mushroom food?" He asked turning to grab something from the nightstand," if you don't struggle this won't be as painful."

" Ian please stop, no, you're not thinking straight right now why don't we go to bed and talk things through in the morning. Wait painful, you're not gonna kill me are you?" I'm scared he's joking this is all just some messed up joke Ian isn't a murderer, but even still I fall off the bed onto the wood floor from backing away.

There's another sound he's grabbing something from the floor. There's footsteps, my footsteps are loud and fast. Before I had an idea of what I was doing I was running out of the cabin bare foot. What now?

"Samuel" I heard Ian coo from inside the cabin. I could hear the grin in his voice followed by some chuckles.

Where do I go? It's dark. Where did we come from? I'm panicking. The tears have started, am I going to die here tonight on a trip with my fiance not to be found. I'm frozen in place. I could hear the sound of a metal bat dragging on the ground going over all the bits of gravel and grass.

"Ia-" as I turned trying to talk to him I was struck by the horrid sound that filled my ears.

The pain I felt in my head only came once I hit the ground, both cold and warm. All I feel is a horrible unbearable pain, I can't think of anything, I can't speak even if I wanted to. More movement I think I'm being dragged somewhere, thrown too.

"Goodbye Samuel, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to do this."

I think he had said something but I couldn't comprehend anything. I'm starting to lose consciousness, probably because of the blood I've lost. At least the pain will go away. My eyes fall shut, it's completely dark and the pain is still very much there, not that it means anything now.

[sepdet]

okay so @sevdrag asked for neat things and here is mine:

I FOUND A FOSSIL FOSSILS!

me back in september, driving across the Mojave Desert and camping under the stars to avoid all humans, meeting my parents at their condo in St George, Utah: I wonder if my poking around on geology and paleontology blogs and websites and documentaries and books and online courses has taught me anything yet.

*stumbles across the street in 100 degree heat and peers at some Rocks.*

Huh.

Well now THAT's fuckin odd. It's not like an intrusion of molten something or other; parts of it are just a crust on the surface, but parts are embedded. And it's PARTS.

And that's sandstone behind it. But not dunes, because there's no crossbedding. I think maybe water put it here. There's flowy bits.

Horseshoe crab tails? But some are too big. Plant stems? Again, some seem a little large. Or just some weird rust discoloration from ore, or a very odd sort of mineral that grows like a crystal without being quite regular in shape? But growing in sand/silt? instead of a fluid-filled cavity? Can that happen?

And then there's this. Small tracks on either side of a tail drag? Or a rolling pebble with water ripples on either side?

Fas t forward to May 2021. Vaccinated. Return to St George to meet parents. Visit St. George Dinosaur Discovery museum, which has some of the best-preserved dinosaur tracks in the world on ancient silty mudflats, including a bona-fide dino butt print where a dino sat down on its haunches and then wandered off.

I show my photos to a paleontologist working the desk, and she says, "Oh, that's just petrified wood."

Just. Because it's common in this part of the southwest.

So we go home and I show Mom the rock face. While we're standing back, she points out they're part of an entire fucking TREE lying on its side, branches fanning to the right, partly embedded in the cliff, partly eroded out of it leaving a light imprint in the siltstone.

That dark horizontal bit above the right side of the yardstick is the petrified skin of a treebranch (debarked, I think; there's other places that show a bumpy bark imprint whereas the brown petrified wood bits are smooth.) I think the "tail drag" mark might be a conifer twig with needles.

So I posted THESE to Twitter's #fossilFriday, and the curator of the museum spotted it and said he'd come by to document it, although I don't think he has yet because it's not in a very good state of preservation. Quoth he:

I agree with your identification as a portion of a tree with branches, and trees are very common in the Late Triassic Shinarump Member of the Chinle Formation buried in braided river systems some 230-225 million years ago. Unfortunately, from what I can see from your photos, most of the fossil is missing and I can't make out anything identifiable.

— Dr. Andrew Milner

Which means it just barely postdates the last survivors of the Permian die-off, my buddy Lystrosaurus, but not by much! (wrong part of the world, anyway; this isn't Gondwanaland.)

And after that email exchange I kept searching the cliff and found at least one more tree fossil as well. It's very definitely fossil treeroots from a tree that's lying on its side, but unless the top broke off and is not lying quite at the same angle, it's probably a second tree. It's behind the edge of my parents' neighbors' yard, so hopefully it's well-protected.

More bits of petrified wood from the first tree.

[Most photos May 8-9 2021]

And I'm just stoked, you know? I'm not a geologist, although there's lots of scientists in my family, and my maternal grandfather taught geology at a junior college. I've just gotten interested in this as a hobby of the past 10 years.

And there it is. An honest to gosh fossil tree, maybe one of the first to grow tall again after the end Permian extinction, shading the silty flats of a wide river down to what became lakes or the inland seaway. The first dinosaurs trotted past it, leaving tracks in the silt. That's a real tree that lived for decades or hundreds of years, and it moved in the wind and felt the rain, hundreds of millions of years ago, when the animals and insects that scurried on its bark were almost entirely different from today.

Fossils are amazing.

[alphinias]

103/117/25 for jiara cause I'm obsessed with them

“She’s my daughter, I can read her diary” / “She’s six, how can she scare you?” / “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”

Ace Grubs was a twig of a boy with more attitude than bones in his body. JJ caught saw him pulling worms out of the ground and stabbing them through his fishhooks like he’d come out of the womb doing it, and he laughed at all of JJ’s fart jokes.

Normally, he got a kick out of the boy who came to play while his dad worked next to JJ in the shop. In fact, he reminded JJ a lot of himself. A little kid from a rougher side of town just out to have a good time, but thankfully one that came with a loving mother attached. He liked the little guy.

That is until Marley, his fucking six-year-old daughter, the light of his life, came waltzing into the living room. There was a gap-toothed grin stretched across her face and a shiny starfish clip in her hair. 

Now, this JJ wouldn’t have noticed much about. It was a starfish. Marley liked the ocean, was on the fast track to a savior complex the size of her mom’s, which made JJ’s insides stupidly warm. He liked the thought that she was taking after Kiara.

Kiara’s brows shot up from where she was bagging up her freshly cut brownies. “Sweetie. You like that clip now?” There was a hand on her hip, and JJ got the impression that he’d definitely zoned out during a fight about this at some point.

“Mhm. It makes my hair look pretty.”

“You look positively beautiful,” JJ cooed from the couch.

But then Marley’s grin widened, flashing a dimple that matched his own, and she said, “I think Ace likes when I look pretty,” and the smile fell right off of JJ’s face.

“He what?” he practically growled.

Kiara tossed him an eye roll over Marley’s head, but no further comment was made, because a loud knocking echoed from the door. “That’s Emily,” she said, tan hand looping around Marley’s elbow.

There was a conversation at the door, as per usual when Marley had a play date with one of her friends. Normally, JJ would’ve been more than thrilled to see her going to fish off the dock with her friends, that she was growing up to enjoy the same hobbies he did, but suddenly the thought of her fishing with Ace Grubs and his mom was horrible. He didn’t like it at all. In fact, he hated it.

Kiara seemed to find no problem with it. She waltzed back into the living room, her rapidly growing belly on full display when she turned around. There was some sort of pregnancy yoga routine she turned on to follow on TV, which normally would’ve given JJ ample opportunity to ogle her legs and ass from the couch.

He couldn’t even do that. 

His thumb tapped against his knee, and he wondered whether or not Ace Grubs had complimented Marley’s starfish clip before. He’d been chasing girls on the playground at Ace’s age, but the memory was significantly less amusing the more he dwelled on it.

“What time is Marley coming home?” he demanded, a little while later.

Kiara was in some type of forward position. She made a face at him from between her ankles. “Uh, six? What did you do, take a trip to Mars while I talked to Emily?”

“Didn’t hear,” he grumbled, and he heard Kiara let out a little laugh under her breath. He glared at her back.

There was a more useful way he could occupy his time. He may as well get his arsenal ready.

He wandered over to the kitchen table, one of his favorite places. A few of Marley’s things were strewn about it, including Marley’s favorite little dolphin notebook. He cast a glance at Kiara; her attention was totally on the way too flexible woman on the television, so he thumbed through the book.

The contents were unintelligible, for the most part. There were a few times Marley had practiced writing her name, and several drawings of what might have been fish. One of two blobs holding hands caught his eye. A whoosh of dread crashed into him, until he realized the drawing wasn’t in fact Marley holding hands with Ace, but one of himself and Kiara with a smaller blob between them.

A lump formed in his throat as he stared at it. The reality he was living still caught him off guard, at times.

“JJ Maybank. Is that Marley’s diary?”

JJ jumped at the sound of Kiara’s voice. She was staring at him from across the table, half glaring, half amused. “Shit! No.”

“JJ,” she urged.

JJ threw up his hands, not bothering to hide the book that flopped in his grip at the movement. “She’s my daughter. I can read her diary, thank you very much.”

“Sounds like a fast track to invasion of privacy and lack of parental child trust to me.” Kiara didn’t sound impressed. She inched her way around the table towards him.

“This is… Not that,” he said, lamely. He cleared his throat, trying and failing to look stern.

Kiara had reached his side at the table now. She leaned over his shoulder, one hand propped against it to see what he’d been looking at. He couldn’t help but breath in deeply at her proximity; no matter how many times he smelled it, her coconut scent never failed to loosen the tension in his back.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re buzzing out a little,” she said.

JJ shrugged. He wasn’t totally sure how to find the words to explain what he was feeling, or if he even really knew it, himself. “I dunno. She just… Scares me, I guess.”

He could feel Kiara’s eyes boring into the side of his face. She nudged further into him, trying to make things more playful. “Scares you? Babe. She’s six. How can she scare you?”

“Did you not hear what she said about that little Ace kid?” he finally exploded. “Sounds like a little punk.”

She cocked a brow at him. “Why? Because he has good taste?”

“No, but if he lays a finger on Marley—“

“JJ,” Kiara accused. “Aren’t you supposed to be the adult here?”

“No,” he said automatically.

“Babe,” Kiara said, softly. Her fingers drifted to the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair there, just the way that lulled him back to sleep when he woke up with a particularly terrible nightmare. “Marley’s gonna have boyfriends.”

“Or girlfriends,” he supplied helpfully. Kiara’s smile grew.

“Or girlfriends. Point is, we have to trust her. Things would’ve been a lot easier with my parents if they had just trusted me.”

JJ brushed a kiss across her forehead. It was still hard for him to believe it, sometimes, that Kiara had chosen him. Him, nothing but trash that needed to be brushed off the street to most (And sometimes even to himself. He was working on that part, though).

But if Kiara hadn’t taken a chance on him… Not only on their relationship, but on just giving him the time of day, on being his friend, he sometimes wasn’t sure where he would be. He was sure he wouldn’t like it.

He breathed a sigh into her hair, and she sunk into him. “Maybe. I’ll try.”

“Mhm.” She slid her lips across his chin. He couldn’t tell if it was another bought of pregnancy hormones, or if she was just being comforting. It was hard to tell these days.

“Can I at least sit on the porch like, cleaning some fish hooks when they come to pick her up? Because I think they deserve it.”

She snorted. Pressed against him with another kiss, a few inches lower this time. “Absolutely not.”

[samdavickart]

1 - Chloe Wise - “It’s The Least The World Can Do”

In the first segment, I took inspiration from Chloe Wise’s video entitled “It’s the least the world can do.” Filmed towards the beginning of the pandemic, she sought to create an absurdist dialogue with herself that referenced her experiences within isolation. I was immediately drawn to this performance as I have found myself feeling similarly over the past eleven months. Having full conversations with yourself in a solitary environment really makes one question their sanity.

2 - Petra Cortright - “SSSSS//////^^^^^^^”

I thought that the absurdity of Petra’s video art was a great follow-up to the Chloe Wise performance. She has an entire series of video art pieces on her website that is essentially selfie videos with strange effects overlaid. The spiral effect that I chose was intentionally reference the anxiety spirals that have often consumed me in the past eleven months - but I always seem to make it out.

3 - Dagnini - “Art from Isolation, Private Performances”

This performance, inspired by one of Dagnini’s Private performances, was perhaps the most fun that I had throughout filming the seven pieces. Dagnini’s performance was set in a bathroom because of that space’s inherent isolated qualities. Bathrooms are by nature solitary - a place for meditation, contemplation, even existential crises. Despite wanting to recreate that, I always try to incorporate elements of fun into my artistic practice. So rather than fully embracing the isolation in this piece, I decided to invite my friend to interact with me as if I was her canvas.

4 - FKA Twigs - “Cellophane” 

We all have those slightly strange pandemic hobbies that we’ve developed over the past almost-year, mine just so happened to be pole dancing. FKA Twigs uses this type of performances alongside many of her works. I thought that it would be interesting to film a performance inspired by her music video “Cellophane”. The song has references to longing, trauma, and relationship abuse, accompanied with an incredibly compelling performance using her body. I think the dichotomy is interesting, and could even be characterized as a reclamation of her body despite these events.

5 - Bruce Nauman - “Body Pressure”

My first exposure to this performance was obviously in Marina Abromovic’s “Seven Easy Pieces”. I was compelled with the commitment she exhibited to the performance. Despite the visible discomfort, she was viscerally in tune with her body - connected with every cell pressed against the glass. I had a ton of fun with this performance as well, although I think the lighting left something to be desired.

6 -  Marc Arthur - “Wandering in Ypsilanti”

Inspired by George Bernard Shaw’s “The Doctor’s Dilemma”, Arthur videotaped himself via webcam with a superimposed image of a menacing home in the background. He did so in order to reference the wandering of the mind that he has experienced in the process of the pandemic. When thinking of how I would interpret this performance, my mind was immediately drawn to my childhood home. This period has been especially tough for me in my longing for familial connection. I haven’t seen my parents since December of 2019 and the impending reunion is my light at the end of the tunnel.

7 -  Kate Gilmore - “Buster”

I would have been remiss had I not included a piece by Kate Gilmore, the preeminent ceramic/performance artist. She finds intuitive ways to combine the two mediums into fascinating performances. I find the intersection of ephemeral performances with permanent objects to be incredibly innovative and creative. It was an incredible time destroying these unneeded vessels of mine, filled with water to augment the sound as the smashed on the concrete. Although (big shocker) water freezes when it is 2 degrees outside. Imagine that?   

[dreamdropxoxo]

Lock-down Story, Part III

Part I, Part II

"How about you start your own home workout stream?" When Laurent had asked this question the day before, Damen had really asked himself why he hadn't thought about it sooner. He had all the equipment, was a trained chiropractor and fitness instructor and had enough time to just do it.

He sat down and started drafting his first set of training with alternatively easier method for people who were not as sporty, muscled or simply motivated as he was. It occupied him for half a day and that was much better than to just stare at the windows and asking himself if he should clean them once again.

When he went outside to install the camera, he saw, to his surprise, his boyfriend kneeling in the dirt in their backyard.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing there?"

"Gardening, Damianos, don't ask stupid questions." Laurent didn't even look up while he was weeding their former flowerbed which was overgrown und messy.

"And why are you doing that?"

Laurent sighed, as if he didn't have the patience to explain every miniscule detail to Damen, but contrary to what one could think, Damen knew his boyfriend had all the patience in the world for him. "Because it looks horrible and I have nothing better to do. I can't stand for our backyard to look like a battlefield."

Damen nodded, it made perfect sense. Laurent was a perfectionist and his nature didn't allow him to let this state of disorder go on like that. "Am I disturbing you, if I start my workout recording now?"

"No, as long as I am not in your video I am perfectly fine." Laurent finally looked up and then his eyebrow climbed up his forehead. "Are you sure you want to wear that while you start with whatever you intend to do?"

"A live stream, Laurent. Don't talk as if you are 100 years old and slept through the last decades of technological progress. And what is wrong with it? I always wear that while training."

"You always wear that? Not only here?" The corner of Laurent's mouth twitched. Damen was honestly confused. "Yes?"

"No wonder they offered you a discount on your gym subscription. Well, then good luck. I will be over here, keeping myself away from your video camera." Laurent turned back around and continued with his task. Damen still couldn't understand what was wrong with his outfit. He wore long pants, for God's sake.

Although he was confused, he started with his training, while he trained he explained the easier execution of the routine and what advantages the different exercises had. He realized while drafting the training plan that he could include quite a bit of his chiropractor knowledge. It was fun and very satisfying.

After two hours of grueling training, he stopped the stream and posted the video on YouTube too. Nik promised to watch it and give feedback as soon as he finished with work. Then he went to shower and finally helped Laurent with his gardening. Which meant that he could help him move the bigger stones and pots full of dirt and weed.

Laurent was a mess, his face full of smutches, his hair messy with the occasional twig and leaf stuck in it, his clothes dirty, and yet, he looked very satisfied after all the work. Damen drew him closer and kissed him. He was sweaty again and decided to join Laurent for another shower.

This continued for some days more and suddenly Damen's account on YouTube exploded, his live stream had thousands of followers and Damen didn't know what had happened. He did what every responsible boyfriend would do in that situation; he ran to Laurent, a bit hysterical and demanded an explanation.

Laurent, calm as one can be took his laptop from him and made a quick google search. Then he said, dead-pan, "well, it looks as if I am dating the next internet sensation. Some important guy found your videos and shared them, people love you and now you have a lot of followers."

Damen gaped. "What?"

"Yes, congratulation, Damen. I bet half of the followers just stare at your arms while you do all those push-ups." Laurent laughed when he gave him his laptop back. Damen sat down, absolutely shocked and did a quick google search. It was true, the singer of a very famous band, Lazar Lafeu had mentioned in a telephone interview that he killed his new found free time with Damen's training video. He had said, "If we can't go on our tour I can at least look at all these nice Akielon muscles. And even better, the guy has a fully functional brain, very sexy."

Damen seriously didn't know what to do with his new found internet fame. He decided to ignore it and just continued with his videos like before. The only difference was, that after every video he took ten minutes to answer questions of his followers. What startled him the most was that people started to notice everything about him.

They complimented the color of his façade, which was a very very pale mint, picked by Laurent. They asked where he had purchased his yoga mat. They discussed the circumference of his bicep. He even understood why Laurent had been so amused by the choice his outfit. It was because his loose fitting tank top gaped open whenever he didn't stand and provided a deep look to his chest and stomach.

His follower called it the sweetest tease ever, they begged him to keep wearing them and Damen, who never had a problem with being ogled did exactly that. The question if he would do a training without a shirt however, was firmly answered in the negative.

Laurent had finished weeding their whole backyard and even started planning new flowers. Their local gardener had started to deliver the plants directly to one's doorstep and Laurent took full advantage.

Damen had been overjoyed to realize that Laurent truly enjoyed his new hobby. He could kneel in the dirt for hours and didn't care even one bit how messy the work could be sometimes. Right now he planted rose bushes while Damen was in the last two minutes of his live stream.

"Fuck! Damn it." Laurent's voice was muffled but still very clearly audible. Damen's head shot up, "Sweetheart?"

"I'm alright. Just ignore me." Laurent smiled pained and hurried inside. Damen didn't even look at the stream when he shut it down and ran behind his boyfriend. Laurent had his hand under the water in their kitchen. The stream tinted red. Damen felt the nausea grow, not because of the blood in general, but because it was LAURENT's blood.

"What happened?"

Laurent sighed. "My hand slipped."

"Show me." Damen took his hand carefully in his own. There was a very long gash in the palm of Laurent's left hand. It looked horrible and would need stiches. He was once again glad that as chiropractor he had studied together with the physicians for four years. He could do the stiches at home.

"Stay here. I will go get my medical kit."

The next day, Laurent lounged on his bench in the shade because he had decided to take a break from gardening for a day when Damen started his stream. He apologized for the abrupt ending of the stream but his followers were so over the moon that Damen had a boyfriend that they didn't care at all.

It was no surprise that the whole ten minutes after the training were filled with questions about his relationship and Laurent in general. He informed them that the mysterious boyfriend preferred to stay mysterious but that he was fine and only needed four stiches.

The fans were somewhat disappointed that they didn't get to know Laurent but accepted the decision with grace. However, they didn't give up completely. Over the course of the next day Damen was asked random questions concerning Laurent. They varied from, "Is he younger, older or the same age as you", over "Is he beautiful?", to "What is his job?". Damen answered them with permission from Laurent with, "younger", "yes", "He's a lawyer".

Then a day came when Damen didn't install the camera the same way as always because he did a later training and the sun would otherwise be too bright. He had told Laurent about it the day before and even on the same morning but Laurent was not very attentive to details that didn't concern him directly. Thus it came that he walked right through Damen's stream. It was not so bad because only his lower half was recorded, but it caused an uproar.

Damen could understand it, because Laurent's ass looked damn hot, even in the video and everybody was curious before. His fans asked about Laurent even more often and the blond man finally seemed to give in, at least in typical Laurent fashion. He answered some of the questions about himself from the off.

It was hilarious, because Laurent had a wicked kind of humor. When one guy asked if he could see him just once, Laurent answered, "Sorry, I think I am too much to handle for you, so no. There were people who actually crashed their car because of my face."

The fans asked Damen if it was true and he had to confirm it. He told them that he almost fell down a staircase when he saw Laurent for the first time. And in his humble opinion Laurent only grew more beautiful with the years.

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

*A MUST READ:*

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart never broke up. Indeed, their split was merely a distraction for the press that would guarantee the former Twilight stars privacy. In the interim period, where Pattinson got engaged to FKA Twigs and Stewart dated a series of women, including St. Vincent, the pair were actually living in wedded bliss. Their PR game was so effective that it helped to hide no fewer than two pregnancies for Stewart. Now, the Pattinson-Stewart family are happy together, laughing at the ignorance of the press and public who believe they broke up years ago and moved onto fulfilling and happy relationships with other people.

Of all the weird celebrity conspiracies that pollute the internet, the Robsten fandom may be my favourite one. It has everything: Press conspiracies, outlandish theories that would put Moon landing truthers to shame, the inability to tell reality from fiction, and of course, bad photoshops. Every now and then, when I see Pattinson and Stewart in the headlines, I go and visit the tin-hatters’ sites for that potent combination of entertainment and fear for my life. It’s astounding that they’re still keeping up this façade. 

As time passes, I wonder more and more if they truly believe it or if they’re going full My Immortal with the scam. It’s too outlandish to be real, yet the emotions behind it clearly are.

Sadly, this is nothing new for the world of shippers, nor is it limited to the breeding pair of Twilight. Name a prominent pop culture property and the chances are there are hardcore shippers whose interest goes beyond a fizzy hobby. Some fans truly believe that Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are a real couple, which is hysterical because their chemistry levels in the Fifty Shades series are sub-zero. The stars of Outlander face the same shippers. Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss are secret lesbian lovers, according to a subset of their fandom. Cate Blanchett will eventually leave her husband and children for Carol co-star Rooney Mara, thus freeing her from an exploitative bearding relationship with Joaquin Phoenix. The Larry fandom have yet to admit defeat, even as both Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson admit the fan delusions over their supposed secret romance hurt their real-life friendship. The Supernatural guys may never shake those conspiracies.

It isn’t all romance related either. Spare a thought for poor Benedict Cumberbatch, whose already overzealous fan-base includes a portion of people who think he was trapped into marriage and fatherhood by his wife, who they paint as the modern-day iteration of Medea. They don’t even think his kids are real. Apparently, one of them is clearly a doll.

I could go on, listing the many other fandoms I’ve come across with these near identical conspiracies of secret relationships, hidden children, public relations bullying, and so on. From Scandal to Orange is the New Black to The Hunger Games, it’s as big a part of fandom as cosplay and dirty fanfiction. A lot of the time, the celebrities being obsessed over don’t even know it’s happening. 

If they call it out, as Robert Pattinson did, or mock it, like Armie Hammer recently did on Instagram after someone DM-d him to claim he should be gay like his character in Call Me By Your Name, then they write that off as simply proving their point. The majority of fans deride and condemn this behaviour, partly because it reflects badly on everyone else but mostly because it’s blatant bullshit that should be treated as such. What is most striking about these myriad conspiracies is how eerily similar they all are in terms of tone and content.

The basic set-up for a tin-hatter shipping conspiracy is thus: The pair are in love, the pair are in a serious relationship, but they have to hide it from the world because of ‘evil PR’. The nature of this shadowy public relations organization is never made clear. It’s mostly rooted in conjecture and a hazy understanding of how the entertainment industry has worked over the decades. 

Historically, publicists and studios have operated with a certain degree of shadiness. In the Golden Era of Hollywood, where studios reigned supreme, a star’s image could be kept on a tight leash and their indiscretions hidden from the public. Fixers like Eddie Mannix (made famous in the Coen Brothers’ movie Hail, Caesar!) could clear up all manner of problems if the occasion called for it. Pregnancies could be hidden, illegal abortions procured, marriages annulled or concealed, and even the occasional murder dealt with (allegedly). We know this stuff happened, and we know that today, publicists do a lot of work to keep their clients happy. That probably doesn’t extend so far as to covering up marriages and multiple pregnancies and fake babies.

The psychologies behind these tin-hatter conspiracies tend to be remarkably similar too. There’s always massive amounts of paranoia at the heart of their delusions. Arrogance is key as well. You need infallible ego to maintain repeatedly debunked fantasies. They talk of their conspiracies as if they’re the most obvious truths in the world, deriding the ‘ignorant masses’ who refuse to see the reality in front of them, which they’ve kindly circled in MS Paint. The mentality is frequently rooted in a strong brand of self-victimization: They tie their theories to social issues like homophobia and claim anyone who opposes their belief that the One Direction guys are in love are clearly bigots. Even when the people in question call out this nonsense, they’re written off as poor closeted prisoners of invincible publicists. The game of tin-hating shippers is designed so that they never lose.

That’s the sad part of this all. They won’t be proven wrong simply because they’ve invested too much of themselves into this fantasy. They run around in circles, desperately claiming everything is against them and only they are smart enough to know the truth. 

If Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan insist they’re just friends, it’s only to throw everyone off the scent. When Tony Goldwyn talks of his love for his wife, it’s just to distract everyone from his romance with Kerry Washington. If Robert Pattinson is smiling in public, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen; if he’s looking a bit down, it’s because he’s thinking of Kristen.

When the fantasy does begin to crumble, the tin-hatters get violent in their rhetoric. Taylor Schilling’s rumoured boyfriend briefly deleted his social media after receiving harassment from her fans who think she’s with Laura Prepon (who just had a baby with Ben Foster). Rooney Mara’s so-called fans called her a disgrace for dating a man and claimed she was letting down LGBTQ+ kids everywhere because of it. Robert Pattinson’s then-girlfriend FKA Twigs faced all manner of horrific racist and sexist abuse for simply existing. It can be easy to laugh people like this off, but we’ve also seen what happens to celebrities when their obsessive fans decide to invade their lives. A 19-year-old fan of Lana Del Rey drove cross-country to her house, broke into her garage and tweeted about it. An obsessive fan of Paula Abdul committed suicide outside her house. Rebecca Schaeffer’s stalker shot her on her own doorstep.

Real person shipping (or RPF) doesn’t bother me in theory. If you just treat it like any other fandom hobby - safe, private, clearly fiction - then go for it. There’s a major difference between liking two actors and writing silly fanfiction about them and going to extremes to prove they’re actually married. 

The people who cross that line are a minority, but they’re a loud and insidious minority who shouldn’t be written off as mere ‘crazies’.

This phenomenon is undoubtedly fascinating and reveals a lot about various intersections of celebrity, media, the internet, fandom, and so on. It’s worth keeping an eye on, if only to ensure nobody gets hurt, because it’s not unique to internet culture. This stuff breeds, and that should concern us all.

Now, when do I get my shadowy PR conspiracy cheque?