#UHHHH GET OUT OF MY WALLS$??&?_?$?$????_!_?$?$?
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sturnboos · 3 days ago
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[🍓] CAUGHT RED HANDED
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Characters: caregiver!chris x little!reader
Summary: chris was supposed to be watching you but got too caught up in his game.. you find nicks hair dye…
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“Alright, we’ll be back in a few hours,” Matt called over his shoulder, keys jingling. “I just gave her lunch, check on her every thirty minutes.”
Chris, was downstairs in his bedroom hyper fixating on the game royal kingdom. He waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Relax. She’s watching Bluey. She’s chill. I got this.”
The front door slammed shut with a loud click. Nick followed Matt out to the car, muttering something about the upcoming Space Camp meeting.
Inside you were curled into the corner of the couch wrapped in a fuzzy blanket that practically swallowed you whole. your plate of cheese and crackers sat beside you, one cracker clutched in your small sticky hand. your eyes were glued to Bluey on the screen, legs swinging slightly in rhythm with the theme song, and your beloved stuffed bunny was tucked under arm.
Chris checked on you after his first round of royal kingdom. you were still in the same spot, drooling slightly and giggling at Bandit pretending to be a robot. So far, so good. A little later, he brought you a juice box. “You doin’ good, princess?” he asked, kneeling beside the couch. you nodded, clutching the straw in both hands. “doggies.” He smiled. “Yeah, Bluey the dog.”
And then… time just slipped away. Chris got way too into the game. That is, until his phone buzzed a notification from Matt.
Matt: On our way home, how’s she going?
Chris blinked. Then sat bolt upright. “Oh no.”
Panic surged. He picked his phone, nearly tripping over in his rush. “princess?!!” he yelled, already sprinting out of the room. The living room was empty. The TV was still on, but the couch was abandoned. Juice box upside down on the floor. You and 'Bun-Bun' were missing.
Chris’s stomach dropped.
He bolted into the kitchen. “Baby?? You hungry again? Please tell me you didn’t climb into the cabinets—” Nope. He checked the backyard door. Locked. Thank god. “where are you baby girl?!” Then he saw it. A smear. One little handprint in… red? Just on the hallway wall, at your height.
Chris’s heart rate spiked as he followed the trail of Red blotches, His mind was already racing. “Please don’t be blood please don’t be blood please don’t be—” He reached the upstairs landing. The bathroom light in Nick’s room was on. He ran. And stopped cold. It looked like a horror movie.
The white tiles of the bathroom were streaked and splattered in red. The counter had pools of crimson liquid, the sink was full of red suds, and the mirror had little finger smudges all over it. Standing right in the middle of the chaos… you. Hands coated in red, cheeks streaked, shirt soaked, and proudly cradling your bunny plush, now dyed red.“What happened?!”
She turned around, face lighting up. “I made Bun-Bun pwetty, Chwis!”
Chris stood in the doorway, frozen. “Oh. My. God.” He stepped in, immediately slipping slightly on the wet tile. “Shit—careful—what the hell?! This is Nick’s dye! Oh, they are so gonna kill me.” You looked up at him with innocence. Chris dragged a hand down his face, trying not to scream into the void. “that’s $40 Arctic Fox dye! Why did he even leave this out?!”
He grabbed a towel and started trying to clean the sink, the counter, the floor, anything. “Okay, okay, we just have to clean this up before they get back. We’ve got, what, twenty minutes? That’s—fine. That’s enough. We can do this. This is fine.”
He looked back at you, your now finger painting a heart on the side of the tub with the dye.
“Oh god…I’m so dead.”
His phone buzzed again. Another message.
Nick: Tell her I say hi btw :)
Chris stared at the screen, then looked at the red crime scene around him. He slowly texted back:
Chris: Uhhhh. She says hi. And also maybe destroyed your bathroom. Do not panic when you get home.
He turned back to you, now patting the red bunny dry with a hand towel.
Chris took a deep breath. “Okay. Look. You need a bath. A real one. I need to bleach this floor. We’re gonna clean you up first, and then—actually, no, I’m gonna cry first, then bleach.”
You held up Bun-Bun proudly. “He’s a strawberry now!”
Chris blinked. “Cool. I’m a corpse now.”
Chris had just finished towel-drying your hair (now slightly pink at the tips), when he heard the car pull into the driveway. Chris did a last frantic sweep with a wet rag across the bathroom tiles. Still a faded red.
Too late.
The front door opened downstairs, followed by Matt’s voice “We’re back! Nick said he—wait, what’s that smell”
Nick’s voice rang out louder, sharper
“Why does it smell like chemicals in here!?”
Chris poked his head out the bathroom door just as the heavy stomps of socked feet thundered up the stairs. He winced. “Heyyyy guys… Welcome home… don’t freak out…”
Nick reached the top first. He looked at Chris, looked past him into the bathroom and screamed. “WHAT. THE—WHY IS MY BATHROOM BLEEDING?!” he yelled, clutching his chest like he was seconds from cardiac arrest. Matt appeared a moment later, wide-eyed, holding a half-unpacked folder of space camp brochures. “Oh my god. Did someone die?”
Chris held up both hands in surrender. “Nobody’s dead! It’s just hair dye. Just… a lot of hair dye. That she found.”
Nick’s eyes whipped over to you, who had now waddled into the hallway still wrapped in a towel, cheeks pink, little toes squeaking on the floor.
She held up Bun-Bun. “made Bun-Bun a strawbwerry!” Nick’s mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. “You… turned him into a fruit?!” You blinked up at him. “He pwetty now.”
Matt, trying very hard not to laugh, pressed a hand over his mouth.
Chris groaned and sank against the wall. “I swear, I was checking on her. Like… at first. And then I got into the game and she was so quiet—”
“That’s never a good sign, Chris!” Nick snapped. “Quiet equals chaos!”
Chris looked like he might burst into flames. “Okay. Look. I’ll pay for the dye. I’ll pay for the towels. I’ll bleach the floors, I don’t care. Just please don’t kill me.”
Matt finally lost it, turning around and full-on cackling as he leaned against the doorframe. “I leave Chris in charge one time and we come back to a toddlers stuffed animal murder scene?.”
Nick crossed his arms. “This is worse than the time you let her eat glitter glue.”
“it said it was edible!” Chris cried.
“Yeah If a portion is accidentally swallowed not the whole bottle Chris!”
Meanwhile, You had begun waddling back down the hallway, Bun-Bun tucked in one arm, the towel trailing behind You like a royal cape.
Nick stared after her in disbelief. “She’s walking away like she didn’t just commit property damage…. Where you going princess!!?”
“D-doggies” you reply simply going back to watch more bluey.
Matt clapped a hand on Chris’s back. “Well. I think you learned something today.” Chris looked dead inside. “That I’m never babysitting again?”
“No,” Matt grinned. “That our princess is cute as hell but also a walking tornado.”
Nick peeked back into the bathroom and groaned. “My bathtub looks like someone dipped it in fruit punch”
Chris stood, hands raised. “I’ll clean it. I’ll clean all of it. Just… promise me one thing.”
Nick narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Move the hair products out of reach”
Downstairs, the Bluey theme song started up again.“Do you hear that?” Chris whispered. “That’s the sound of war returning.”
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Tags: @blushsturns @riasturns @iloveduckssm @chrissbxby @sturnobessed @kayskreativeideas @tits4matt @mattsfavho @sturniolobananas1 @courta13 @alexisa78 @chrisissos3xy @sturnobessed @mattschelseaa @norahsturns @dolliraez @jibitzlesscrocs @oopsiedaisydeer @gemzyy @mattschelseaa @hesvoid34 @phone4pills @spaghettislut1 @sturnslux3 @phone4pills @owenstar @luvsturns @nickssidewitch @ariieeesworld @babyt0matoes @sugarraez
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matzofficial · 3 months ago
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POOKIE I MISS YOU ALREADY 💔💔💔
also is this tumblr user starglitterz first appearance on matzofficial... if yes i want yall to know rune is MY idol and MY favourite author yall can't have her /j but she said im her substitute hongjoong so who's really winning here 🙂‍↕️😋 HAHAHA ILYSM BAE MWAHHH <333
( if you catch me stalking your blog just LOOK AWAYYY )
I MISS YOU ALREADY TOOO 🥺🥺 i cant believe i wont see you again for months 😔
and there you have it everyone! please welcome user starglitterz aka rune's discount store hongjoong <33333
(i'm kidding i would chose you over him any day. don't forget you got front row seats to the tuesday afternoon dress 😗)
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vv-ispy · 10 months ago
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on one hand I totally understand tropes are popular but on the other hand I think Amos is a lot more compelling as a middle aged woman trying to figure out her life after a loveless relationship than a mother figure ya know
#it's like. oh has anyone read price of salt? It's like carol. she's in a mess trying to figure things out#and dragging anyone close to her into that mess#bc she spent so long in an environment where she is both not getting enough attention from one who she wants#and getting attention from others who are 'below' her. not that she conciously sees people as below her but i think society#would tell Amos that she has a higher role on the hierarchy as Deca's lover than anyone else in mondstadt#...now i'm imagining an old mond rebellion where the original goal was something like 'tear down the walls reform deca' and then Amos joine#went 'no I'm gonna kill him' and the rebellion went '....okay that doesn't sound like a terrible idea he IS the one keeping the walls up'#nb's goal after all was to break down the walls and see the sky right not explicitly to kill a god#.......puts this idea in my pocket to maybe play with#saying that my initial idea of her was also viss er one / eva anim orphs based but sim idea. middle aged woman#upper class middle aged divorced woman amos who has her hands full dealing with the fallout of her own life and making it everyone's proble#i just really like Problematic Woman#saying that carol did kinda really mother therese but also their relationship was uhhhh unequal. Just a Bit#also viss e r one and eva are also both defined by motherhood in a way#except eva is 'long left the role behind bc the world thinks she's dead and her body isn't even hers anymore'#and vis ser one is 'she should NOT be a mother she is a whole empire's tactician for a reason'#anyway don't mind me waking up and starts rambling about Opinions bc my dream supplied me Stress of Snakes#<- thinks snakes are cool but has a healthy respect of them irl idk Where that dream came from#genshin talk
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discoballera · 6 months ago
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gonna go brave the pillow room on aj so i can gift more ppl. wish me luck 🫡
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127rkives · 2 years ago
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uhhhh idk if anyone has discussed this before but... miguel likes to eat pussy from the back!!!
like idk, every once in a while, his brain goes brrrr and something short circuits. idk chalk it up to stress but it's more like some feral, animalistic urge. he can’t really explain it. it’s almost as if someone flips a switch, his mind goes blank except for the thought of needing to be with you, under you, in you. he has to stop whatever he’s doing and go find you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
and as soon as he makes it home to find you relaxed on the couch, he's flipping you over, contorting you face down ass up, and he’s nuzzling into your clothed pussy like a dog in fucking heat. when he’s finally spent just enough time shrouded in the scent of you, he's yanking your shorts off. he’s been at this for approximately 2 minutes but there's already a wet patch in the center of your panties. that sight makes his pupils dilate before going in for the kill. his claws come out to rip your panties to shreds right before he straight up nose dives into your pussy, and granted you can feel him, the action still catches you off guard enough for you to emit a loud gasp. it’s just too much too fast. “mig- ohhh!~”
“mmm... mmmf” miguel gets so much satisfaction from tasting you that he releases moans of his own. they would be bouncing around the room and intermingling with yours except right now he can't bring himself to pry his tongue from the slick walls of your cunt. 
“oh my gosh- miguel!”
hearing you raise your voice in alarm while saying his name is enough to make miguel pause for a second. you take the moment of reprieve to look over your shoulder— huffing and puffing— only to be stunned by miguel’s animalistic look. his curls are messily hanging near his eyes which are dark, yet spacey as if he’s on another planet. his lips are parted just enough to show a peek of his fangs as he breathes heavily through his mouth after suffocating himself with your pussy, and a gleaming mixture of his spit and your slick is smothered over half of his face and all the way down to his collarbone.
“m- miggy could you just give me a few seconds?” you ask. miguel tilts his head to the side and scoffs. a curt “no” is all you get before miguel locks his arms around your thighs to drag you back to his watering mouth. you don’t have claws like miguel but if you did the couch cushions would definitely be in shreds from the way you’re gripping them. 
the wet slurps of miguel’s tongue lapping at your cunt are soon paired with two of his thick fingers easily slipping in thanks to your arousal. he scissors them for a moment before adding a third. the speed he uses to pump them in and out and the feeling of his slightly calloused fingers against your gummy walls leaves you floating in the clouds. you’re brought crashing back down, however, when a deep groan from miguel sends sparks up your spine. soon enough you feel pressure building at the bottom of your stomach, only it doesn’t feel like it usually does. in a fit of panic you try to drag yourself out of miguel’s grip.
“ohhh my go- miggy!” it’s all you can do to let out little slurred calls of his name, but it doesn’t matter. miguel’s not stopping until he’s satisfied. your escape attempts are useless, but the wiggling is enough to piss him off.
“querida. don’t move so much. be good.” but you can’t be still. the tingly feeling in your tummy is growing and all you can do let out breathy moans as you thrash around in ecstacy.
“ahh- i can- can’t help it!”
all of your moving loosened miguel’s grip too much for his liking. in less than a second, he's yanking you back towards his mouth and hoisting your hips just high enough to wrap his lips around your cute little clit. 
one hard suck is all it takes before you’re squealing at the top of your lungs. a scream of “miguel!~” is the only thing leaving your lips while your vision goes white and your breathing stops for a second. miguel is unrelenting behind you, switching to messily swiping his thumb across your clit and shoving his tongue back into your pulsating cunt in an attempt to catch every last drop squirting in to his mouth. 
even when your arms give out beneath you and you faceplant into the couch miguel is still lapping at your outer lips like he’s been saved after being stranded in the desert for a year.
and like that, it’s like the switch in his brain flips again. he smooths his hands up and down your trembling thighs and scatters kisses in a path up your back to the nape of your neck. “you okay, cariño?” a weak “mhm” is all you can muster up as you turn your head to flash miguel a floaty smirk. he smiles and chuckles, recognizing the foggy look in your eyes. covered in a sheen of sweat and high off the feeling of him is just one of the times miguel thinks you look the most beautiful.
after ghosting his hands across your skin and giving you a few minutes to calm down, miguel goes to gently move you to his lap. he buries his nose into the crook of your neck, inhaling all of you. with the little strength you have, you wiggle around in his lap attempting to get comfortable but something is in the way- 
“ohh~” miguel’s breath is hot on your neck as he groans into it. his fangs graze your skin, his hands grasp onto your hips for dear life and oh...
someone flipped the damn switch again...
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scarlethexelove · 11 months ago
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Can You Keep A Secret?
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Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Romanoff!Reader
Word Count: 2560
Summary: You and Wanda are in a secret relationship. How will she and your mom react when you tell them your pregnant.
Warnings: Smut, Wanda has a penis, Soft sex, Secret relationship, Reader get's pregnant, A bit of Angst, Comfort, Supportive Mom Nat, Supportive Wanda, Uhhhh idk haha
A/n: This was a little request from a friend that I've been trying to finish. Hopefully you enjoy it though. Just a little smut, so secret relationships and then having to tell Mom Nat about pregnancy and dating Wanda, while also telling Wanda your pregnant.
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN
The sound of skin slapping with grunts and moans fill the room. Wanda has your hands pinned above your head, your legs are wrapped around her waist as she drives her cock into you. “Fuck you feel so good detka.” She buries her head in your neck as she continues thrusting. “S-so good.” You slur as the pleasure overwhelms you.It feels as Wanda is splitting you wide open as she presses her hips into yours. She is a lot bigger than anything you have taken before but she feels so good. Your bodies fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces.  
This is your first time with Wanda. She had always stopped you from going any further than kissing. She was worried that you might reject her due to her circumstance. Wanda had revealed that she had a penis. She was so scared that you might not want her anymore after finding out. While she has had hookups before in the past so their thoughts never really mattered to her but she cared more about what you thought of her which played on her fears of rejection. But once she told you all you could do was tell her how much you love her and that none of that mattered to you at all. In fact you found it pretty hot. 
So that’s how you found yourself in this position. Your girlfriend's hips slapping against yours as Wanda drives her cock into you. Your hips bucking to meet her thrust as she thrust deep inside of you. You tighten your legs that are around her waist pulling her impossibly close. Wanda moans when she feels your walls tighten around her length. A sound that you know you will never grow tired of as you do it again just to hear it from her. Your own moans echoing hers as she angles her hips perfectly to hit that sensitive spot deep inside of you. 
“So pretty.” Wanda mumbles as she leans up looking down at you. “Taking my cock so perfectly. Gonna fill you up, make you mine.” She grunts as she drives her hips harder into yours. “Yours.” You moan in response, throwing your head back and arching off the bed. Your hands grip the sheets till your knuckles bleed white. The pleasure burning through your whole body. Wanda moves her hands to your hips digging her fingers into the flesh. Both of your orgasms are quickly approaching. 
You can feel Wanda’s cock twitching inside of you ready to release her seed. You walls spasm around her ready and willing to take all that she gives you. “Please.” You whimper as you teetering on the edge. Wanda expertly brings you to the edge with every thrust of her hips. Wanda grunts as she thrust harder. “Hold it.” It takes everything in you to hold yourself on the edge. So close to falling over that you know you can’t hold it back for much longer. 
Wanda diggers her fingers deeper into your hip sure to leave a bruise later. “Cum with me.” She groans her orgasm threatening to wash over her. That’s all you need as an expertly placed thrusts hits your sweet spot making you see stars as your eyes roll back in your head. A loud moan escapes your lips as you release all over Wanda’s cock. Your walls spasming around Wanda’s length has her falling over the edge. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Wanda moans as she releases inside of you. She paints your walls white as her cum fills you up. Wanda watches in awe as a small bulge forms on your lower abdomen. She moves one her hands there and presses down where her cum has filled you up so much. You moan out from the overwhelming pleasure that gives you as more of your arousal leaks out around Wanda’s cock. 
Wanda’s thrust slows to a stop before she slowly pulls out. A whimper falls from your lips from how sensitive you are and the sudden empty feeling you now have. “Sorry sweetheart.” Wanda apologizes not wanting to cause you any pain. “Sokay.” You mumble sleepily. Now feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you. You hold out your arms giving Wanda grabby hands, beckoning for her to come closer and to cuddle. Wanda climbs off the bed and moves up to give you a kiss on the forehead. “In a minute detka. I’ll be right back.” Her words cause you to pout. “I promise I’ll be right back.” She pecks your lips before she makes her way into the bathroom. 
It doesn’t take long before emerging again. You can tell she has cleaned herself off and she has put on a pair of sweatpants and a sports bra. She has in one hand an oversize shirt for you and in the other hand she has a wet washcloth.  She comes over to you moving to clean you up. Cleaning you of the sweat before she gently takes the cloth between your legs and cleaning you up. Once she is done she tosses it into the hamper before she helps get you into her oversized shirt. You can’t help but bring it up to your nose and breathe in her scent. It brings you a sense of love and makes you feel safe. 
Wanda climbs into bed next to you pulling you closer to her as you lay your head on her chest. Her arms wrapping around you tightly. Her warm embrace makes you feel as if nothing else matters in the world except for the two of you. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep. “I love you.” Is the last thing you hear from Wanda as she kisses the top of your head. You mumble out incoherent words as sleep overtakes you. Wanda smiles before closing her eyes soon following you into the land of dreams.
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You have felt off for what seems like weeks, but you haven’t been able to put your finger on it. You just feel off. You’re thinking of going to the doctors later if it doesn’t improve. But you go about your day as normal. You decide today would be a good day to clean so you started with the bathroom. 
You start cleaning and putting away anything that is left out that doesn’t need to be. As you open the cabinet you notice that your tampon box is empty. You think back to the last time you used one. You remember telling yourself that you needed to buy more but that seems like forever ago. A gasp escapes your lips as it all starts to make sense. “No, no, no, no, no.” You mutter as you quickly drop everything you are doing, grabbing your keys and heading to the store. 
It doesn’t take you long to get back from the store a pregnancy test in hand as you head into the bathroom. Your hands shake slightly as you open up the test. This isn’t where you thought you would be, hiding away in the bathroom a blank pregnancy test in hand. But this isn’t the time to overthink everything. So you pee on the stick and set the timer.
Time ticks by slowly as you hold the test in your hand, staring intensely at the little screen like it would make it go any faster. You know you only have to wait 15 minutes but those 15 minutes feel like an eternity. Your thoughts start to spiral as you wonder about what will happen. Your Mom is going to hate you, Wanda is going to hate you. How could you be so reckless and stupid to possibly get pregnant. 
You’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear your timer go off. Your eyes focus back on the test in your hands that you have been staring at. Pregnant flashes across the little screen, a tear slowly rolls down your cheek. You’re scared for what the future can hold now. Wanda won’t want anything to do with you after this. 
The sound of the front door slamming shut has you freezing in your spot on the floor. “Y/n.” You hear your Mom call out for you. You quickly wipe the tears that have fallen and pull yourself off the ground. The test is still in your hand. “Y/n/n.” You Mom calls out for you again. “C-Coming!” You yell back as you frantically try to figure out what to do with the test after you slide the packaging into the garbage can and cover it with the trash already in there. You shove the test into your hoodie pocket before exiting the bathroom. 
To your shock when you enter the living room Wanda is standing there with your Mom. “M-Mama, Wanda, hi.” You try to hide the fact that you are shocked. Natasha cocks her head to the side questioning when she looks at you. She can tell something is off with you. “What’s wrong?” She asks you. “Nothing.” You shake your head as you try to remain calm. Wanda gives you a concerned look but doesn’t say anything. 
Your Mom Natasha had you young and she had met Wanda a few years ago. Wanda's age is perfectly in between you and Nat. She is 8 years older than you and 8 years younger than Nat. Since the two of them started hanging out together almost 3 years ago you started to grow closer to Wanda. That was until six months ago Wanda confessed her feelings for you and you did the same. You both agreed it would be best to not tell you Mom until later. Wanting to make sure that this would work out before telling her anything. But here you are now standing in front of the two women pregnant with Wanda’s child and scared of losing everything. 
“Sweetheart, I know you are lying, just tell me what’s wrong.” Nat says softly. Your eyes flick to Wanda’s. You know you have to tell both of them but you were thinking that you would have more time than this. Time to figure out what to say. Tears slip down your cheek as you realize you just need to rip the bandaid off. You can see Wanda hesitate as her desire to comfort you is blocked by the fact that Nat doesn’t know about your relationship. “You’re going to hate me Mama.” Your voice trembles as you pull at the sleeves of your hoodie. “Detka I could never hate you.” Nat steps closer to you taking your fidgeting hands into hers to stop you. 
You let out a shaky sigh before looking up into your Mom’s eyes. All you can see is love and understanding in her eyes. “I’m pregnant.” You say quietly but it’s just loud enough that both women can hear you. You catch a glimpse of Wanda with a shocked face but your Mom’s is stoic. You can’t read her reaction. You’re an adult but right now you feel so small in front of the women, like this could somehow ruin your life. 
“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone sweetheart.” Nat finally speaks. “I’m so sorry Mama I didn’t mean to.” You cry softly. Nat pulls you into her arms making you miss how Wanda’s face flashes with excitement. “Baby girl you’re an adult there is nothing to be sorry for.” Nat kisses the top of your head as she comforts you. It doesn’t take long for you to calm down in her arms before she is pulling you away so that she can get a good look at you. “Can I ask who the other parent is? Do I know this person?” You hesitate. You know that now you will have to tell Nat the truth about you and Wanda. Even though you’re still worried about what Wanda will think, you let your eyes drift to her. “Please don’t be mad.” Your eyes snap back to your Moms. “I promise I won’t be mad.” You take some deep breaths trying to calm your now racing heart. “Wanda.” You mumble. 
You’re not even able to comprehend what is going on at first as Wanda comes over taking you into her arms and lifting you up. She spins you around happily. “We’re having a baby.” You can hear the excitement in her voice. She puts you back down on the ground hugging you close to her and mumbling in your ear. “We’re having a baby.” 
Wanda’s excitement broke Nat out of her stupor as she looked at the both of you. “Wanda?” Nat’s voice is monotone. You look past Wanda now at your Mom. You can see as she runs through the different emotions of the situation. Her friend Wanda has gotten her daughter pregnant. “Mama you promised.” Wanda moves so that she is standing beside you but she has her arm wrapped around you protectively.
Nat’s mouth opens and closes a few times as she tries to find the right words to say. “Okay.” Was all she could settle on.”Okay?” You question. “Okay.” Nat repeats. “You’re an adult and you can make decisions on who you are with. I'm not going to stop you.” You breathe a sigh of relief as Nat’s eyes flick to meet Wanda’s. “If you hurt her I will kill you, you hear me Maximoff.” Nat’s voice is stern. “I would never want to hurt her.” Wanda smiles and looks at you. “I love her too much.” You can feel the heat rising to your cheeks. “I love you too.” 
The world seems to fade away as you turn to really look at Wanda. Her hand moves to your hips holding you closer and your arms wrap around her neck. Nat takes this as the time to give you two some privacy so she slips away. “You’re not mad?” You look down as you question Wanda. One of her hands leaves your hip as she hooks her finger under your chin and makes you look up at her. “I could never be mad at you detka.” You search her eyes for any hint of a lie but you find nothing all you find is love and admiration. “But I got pregnant.” Your voice comes out small, still afraid of what she might say. “Oh baby girl, it takes two to make a baby. We did this together and I’m going to be with you every step of the way. I love you Y/n more than anything in this world. I have wanted nothing more than to have a family of my own and I can’t think of anyone better to start it with.” Wanda’s words bring more tears to your eyes, but this time they are happy tears. “I love you.” You mumble as you move your arms to wrap around her tightly and bury your head in her neck. 
You know this won’t be easy but you know now that Wanda isn’t going to leave your side. She loves you and you know she already loves your little one so much. You can’t believe you were so scared to share the news with her and even with your Mom. They both will support you no matter what life throws at you. It’s all you could have ever hoped for. 
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lynnie-s3all · 4 months ago
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Yo wsg mootie!! I hope your doing well! Since you still have requests on I hope you wouldn’t mind if I sent another one in ^^ onto my request…!
May I request (romantic) Mafioso, 1x1x1x1, and John Doe with a Reader who’s an artist and is always seen drawing in their notebook whenever they can? and perhaps they even draw the characters I’ve mentioned and shows them?
Thank you! Have a good day or night!!! :-)
Edit: Yes this is Zyran in the morning because i did not do uhhhh stuff today. I'm getting breakfast for myself
You inspire me more than i do... my love.
Forsaken killers x Artist reader.
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While he would be busy hanging out with his other folks, you grabbed your notebook and decided to draw him in small doodles.
Not just those, you also drew his bunny <3
Whenever you're finished, you would come up to him and show it to him.
He was impressed by the details you drew on him, especially his coat, hat, almost every prominent feature he has on him. He loved the way you also drew his bunny too.
"that's actually lovely, princess. Keep drawing more. I would be so much proud looking at them each day."
Whenever you had a crashout, and maybe really feel upset to the point that you don't feel like drawing, he'll step in to help and comfort you.
"It's not horrendous, lovely... What makes you think it's bad? You know how i appreciate most of your little doodles on your notebook. Don't give up drawing. Maybe take a break if you need to."
You adore him so much.
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I don't really say he's the opposite for everything, but you know how he is when he's around people. Really annoyed.
Well, here's a catch. You doodled him while he was watching TV with you at home, he didn't really payed too much attention for you a lot.
As you draw the small details, he just looked at you, while you're silently drawing.
"Well, what are you doing in that book anyway? Reading...?
"No, I'm not reading, silly. I just wanted to show you something."
Well now he was curious.
Once you finished doodling, you gave him your notebook. He was pretty much astonished when you did draw him with his crown. even with that hair... Just how gorgeous it is.
"The details in this art, you did made me look pretty handsome."
"Not really good though..."
"Who says it doesn't, I'm going to check your other pages in here"
"NO 1X DONT-"
Well you two ended up arguing if he should check it or not, but he just refused to give it back and wants to see your other drawings too. Now you're left filled with embarrassment.
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John doe on the other hand...
He really adores your drawing so much.
He usually leaves your drawings on the wall with blood on the paper, I'm not sure why he decided to do that.
Uhm. there's a certain thing he wanted to do actually.
Since he likes to kill people, he told you to draw him with one of the victims... blood.
"What did you do this time John..."
"Please draw me with this person's blood."
You were concerned for him. But you fulfill his request anyway. Also because you don't want to question a lot on why.
"Alright sure..."
Once you finished drawing the art... Since human blood dries up a bit fast due to it evaporating, you had to take it for a bit faster pace, but you managed to make it look pretty.
You showed your drawing to him, you drew him with red roses too.
He was very happy.
TO THE POINT THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY RIGHT AFTER YOU USED SOMEONE'S BLOOD TO DRAW.
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edenl0vesu · 6 months ago
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Bandaids
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Neighbor! Bucky barnes x single mother!reader
Civil war bucky happens to be the loml and my ovaries are SCREAMING as i write this.!!
Warnings: nsfw content, oral (f receiving), 1st person smut 😋, pussy spanking…., praise, soft bucky, slight choking, uhhhh what else…
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Single motherhood wasn’t for the weak, with a 6 year old daughter in a small apartment. I was near constantly stressed, it didn’t help that things kept breaking and my piece of shit landlord had been dodging me every time l brought up my broken heater- and the broken kitchen sink. I decided today while Angelina was at school l could use this time to catch up on some laundry. Of course running out of coins for the machines far too fast, because why wouldn’t i, so here i was. Stuck hauling stuff back up to the top floor from the basement. By the time i got to the top i was honestly considering just jumping off.
I was rudely were yanked from my thoughts when i bumped into something so firm. For a second i thought it was a wall- that thought was immediately corrected when you felt a hand under my arm stabilizing me. I blinked before looking up and saw it was my neighbor. He had his usual hat on- really ive only seen him a few times but each time he was just as hidden as the last. “oh! Im sorry.” I said quickly going to grab your basket i dropped. “No worries.” It was quick and blunt, yet he reached down faster to grab the basket for me. Handing it over and grunting a little as he walked down the stairs— ookkkaaayyy. Weird.
Of course that wasnt the last i saw of my mysterious neighbor. My daughter was adamant on rushing to the park, she was shooting out of the door before i could even think about stopping her. I sighed before walking out to see her on the ground with tears welling in her big ol eyes. She had tripped, though before i could get to her i saw the same neighbor help her up and say something that made her grin widely. He could be seen looking around for a parent— i felt all the air leave my lungs when we made eye contact.. okay weird again. I just decided to brush it off and go up to my daughter, “you okay sunshine?” She just looked up at me with a big smile and quick nod. Not giving anything else before she began pulling me, off to the park.
It wasn’t until later that night o realized he had given her a bandaid for her knee. See i knew she couldnt have gotten one from the apartment because she was very adamant on only getting the unicorn ones at the store. Yet she had a big normal bandaid on her knee. That made alone could make my ovaries scream and try to take over.
It was 5 minutes later than when my daughter usually gets home- she takes the bus home and walks up, she had her own key and everything. So of course my mind goes to the worst possible thing, rushing out of my apartment only to see her walking up the stairs and chatting your neighbors ear off.
“Mommy says the land…….person… was a fat lazy good for nothing douche bag. She told me not to say that word but she says hes a mean man for avoiding her about our heat thingy. Its cold in my house- is it cold in your house?” Shame built inside of me as daughter yapped and yapped- telling this stranger all our information no doubt.
“Mommaa!!” She squealed when she saw me, her hand was holding onto the sleeve of the same neighbors shirt. She let go to run to me and i caught her in my arms to give her a big hug, “go inside and get washed up i have your favorite in the oven.” I said before giving her a little kiss on her forehead.
Once she was inside i shifted on your feet a little, “I’m sorry about her, she really likes talking.” I said with a little chuckle.
“Shes a sweet kid.” He said a but gruffly, “im bucky.” He said out of nowhere. “Oh im Y/n.”
“I know.”
My face must’ve screamed confusion and red flags because he followed up quickly, “she told me-“ i relaxed at that.
With that we both slipped into our respective apartments.
The landlord had came the next day to get my stuff all fixed, though he looked tense- very tense. Not that i cared. It was finally warm in the apartment again.
“Momma can we go to the park??” My daughter was at my legs and was looking up at you with those big pleading eyes and i knew you couldnt say no. I never could and she knew that.
It seemed every time i left your apartment now i had see him- Bucky. “Bucky!” Like always Angelina was chipper and waved at him. His scowl transformed into a small little smile. He gave her a little wave. “Wanna come with us to the park??” She asked him with the same big pleading eyes she had used on me moments before.
Though he looked at me as if to ask permission, every part of me was screaming at me to say no. To say you shouldn’t invite your strange and mysterious neighbors to go places with you. No matter how hot they happened to be.
My uterus had other plans at seeing how much my daughter truly liked this man, i gave a little nod. He looked down and gave her a nod, “sure i would be delighted.” Thats the most i think ive ever heard him speak.
Me and bucky watched from a distance while my daughter played on the monkey bars. “Did the landlord come by finally?” He asked me after some silence.
“Yeah- how did you know.?” I found myself filled with confusion again, this is the second time in the past few weeks hes given me that feeling.
“I spoke to him. A mother and kid shouldnt be without heat during this weather.” He said gruffly, it made heat travel up your spine and a blush crept up my neck. And before i could even get my response out he spoke again, “sorry it I overstepped.” His hand went to the back of his neck almost nervously.
“No no thank you. Hes been dodging me so. It was helpful.” A smile forming on my face. Angelina was rushing over and holding her hand out. “I got hurt.” Her lip jutted out and she looked up at the two of us with teary eyes. She had a callus that was peeling- ouch. I reached for my purse to see if i had a bandaid, none. “Im sorry sunshine we’re gonna have to go home if you want a bandaid. Im out.” I smiled sadly as her and the tears in her eyes got more prominent, “but i wanna stay.” She whined.
“Here.” He was blunt as he pulled out a bandaid from his little fannypack. “I always keep some on me.”
“Thank you Mr.bucky!” Angelinas smile came back and relief rushed over me. I helped her put the bandaid on and watched as she rushed back to continue playing. I wasn’t going to mention how he had been carrying around space bandaids with stars and shit on it. “Thank you- again.”
Angelina was at her grandparents for a week of her Christmas break. So i was alone- i always forgot how lonely things got when she wasnt here. Day one was just stupid romcoms on tv after doing my work. Working from home was the biggest blessing.
Day two though, my mind kept going back to bucky. He had come with us to the park more often as of late and i cant deny im growing fond of him, so thats how i found myself in my bed. A small purple toy buzzing between my thighs, my right hand circling the toy on my clit, and my other hand covering my mouth. My eyes clenched shut and i thought about him- the way he fills out his shirts, his piercing stare, his gentle tone with my daughter.
Buckys pov 🤭🤭
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Fuck. What have i gotten myself into. I wasnt someone she would want in her life if she knew who i was. What ive done. But the kid clung to me like a leech and the first time the kid gave me that little smile i knew i was fine with that. Then the first time i saw y/n blushing i knew i was done for, i couldnt stop myself from getting close.
Maybe i shouldve but how could i when such a pretty girl had a sweet kid who apparently liked me. Though now i feel like im crossing some lines. My room was adjacent to y/ns room. I had figured that out fast enough. So here i was, clenching my eyes shut as i tried to ignore her moans, i can hear her from here. Im not trying to creep on her but fuck. My cock is hard as fuck and literally pulsing with need. I ignored it best as I could until i heard her moaning a little louder. My name falling from her lips.
My resolve snapped and i reached my hands down my boxers tugging down only enough to pull myself out. I knew i wouldn’t last long when my thumb splayed over the head, smearing precum around to use as lube. My hand tightened around my cock and i imagined it was her throat. Stroking slowly and i came embarrassingly fast, like i was a teenager again. I was spilling all over my hand to the thought of her.
your pov
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Seeing him when i got back to my apartment w what i expected and my face flushed- a reminder of last night, my thoughts about him. “Hey Bucky.” I greeted- he was just getting back as well. “Hey, y/n.”
Silence for a beat… then two. Before i blurted, “want a beer?” I raised the 6 pack i had just bought. I could see his eyes look me over- slowly- like he was taking me in. “I wouldn’t say no.” He said, closing his door. I opened mine and he let himself in.
“Please make yourself at home.” I said shrugging off my jacket and shoes. Setting the case of beer on my table and stealing a glance at him. He pulled his cap off and for the first time i’d seen him without his hat. He was gorgeous. I wish i was lying but he was truly gorgeous. I grabbed two beers and popped them open. Settling myself on my couch and placing his beer on the coffee table for him.
He shrugged his jacket off and holy shit i don’t know whether i noticed the fact he had a full fucking metal arm or the fact he had more muscle than i had previously thought. I looked away quickly as to not ogle him. He sat down next to me and grabbed his beer. Taking a swig from the bottle. What i said before about not ogling him immediately went out the window when i saw him sitting manspread on my couch.
“What do you like watching?” I asked as i flicked my tv on. “I dont watch tv.” He said simply. “Anything you like is fine.”
“Like ever?” I pushed the no tv thing with a little giggle. “Yeah- like ever. Ive never been a fan.” He said softly, leaning back against the couch a little more.
“Well clearly you’ve never watched school of rock. It will change your mind.” I grinned as i put my all time favorite movie on. I turned up the volume and propped a leg up on my couch.
Somewhere during the movie we had shifted closer to eachother and his metal hand had ended up on my thigh. I gasped at the cold metal, not minding.
“Shit sorry that was-“ he said removing his hand quickly put i pulled it back to my thigh, “its fine- i dont mind.” I instinctively had leaned closer to him and my side rested against his. We went back to watching the movie when his fingers started dancing along my thigh, tracing shaped and making goosebumps rise on my skin. His hand shifted upwards more, i cant tell if it was intentional or not but he was dangerously high on my leg. Any higher and he would feel just how wet i was.
Near the end of the movie he hadnt moved his hand any further. “Bucky..” my voice was quiet, a surge of confidence consuming me. He looked over, “yeah doll?” My stomach churned at his sudden use of the petname. I didnt say anything- instead opting to grab him by the back of the neck and pulling his lips to mine. It was everything i was hoping it was.
Fuck what was i doing- i started to pull away but his flesh hand came to grab me by the neck to keep me there. Embarrassingly enough that was enough to make a moan fall from my lips. His hand shifted again. He pulled away for a moment before speaking, “can i touch you malýsh?” He was pleading, literally begging to touch you.
I nodded quickly but he applied some soft pressure to my throat, “words, malýsh“ he was different than his brooding quiet self, and the gentle and soft version he showed my daughter. “Yes- please.” I whispered breathily.
His lips crashed against mine again and his hand slipped up my thigh to brush his fingers over my mound. My hips immediately pressing down to get more. He pulled his hand away immediately- leaving me breathily whining into the kiss. He tugged my sweatpants off quickly though, the cold metal of his fingers returning to cup my pussy. His fingers sliding over the wet fabric of my panties, he groaned and his head fell to my shoulder. He peppered kisses and bites along the skin, “so wet.” He said after looking down and seeing the slick that had collected on his fingers.
He laid me back against the couch and spread my legs, one thing was already very clear to me- this man had experience. He tugged my panties off and his metal hand returned to my folds and ran along them until his fingers hooked on my clit. I moaned out loudly as his fingers rubbed small tight circles on my clit. My head falling to the side to avoid looking at him, he didnt like that. His flesh hand coming to pinch my cheeks in his hand, “eyes on me. Or I’ll stop.” I complied immediately- though i could tell by the near animalistic look in his eyes he wouldnt stop- not when hes enjoying this just as much as i am.
He cooed shamelessly against me,
“taking it so well.”
“My pretty girl.”
“Doing so good for me.”
“Keep your legs open”
I was shamelessly chasing my own high as his fingers continued to circle my clit, though he shifted down so his lips connected to my thigh, his fingers sifting away from my clit and he worked two fingers inside my entrance. I clenched around them because the sensation was unlike anything ive ever felt. He bit my thigh and i had to hold back a moan, his tongue came to soothe the spot before he moved further down to suck at my clit. My hands threaded in his hair and tugged, shamelessly bucking my hips to get closer. He pulled away and his other hand let go of my thigh to deliver three short and firm slaps to my pussy. By the third one my vision went white with how hard i had came.
….
Jesus christ. What have i gotten myself into.
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decayingearf · 4 days ago
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i see you write for supernatural😏. can i get a mfn uhhhh … season one!sam x reader like stanford sam. how he get down in them dorm rooms. omgg who said that?😱
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(omg it must’ve been the wind? anyhow here’s stanford sam!)
✗ warnings; 18+, mdni, pinv (doggy style), drunk hook up, established consent, animalistic!sam, light after care (if you squint)
[a/n: now hold on, im sure you’re thinking this is some rapey drunk sexual assault, no. both people are consenting, its just a drunken hook up. whoever comes up with the best name for this fic, wins!]
𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀; you run into your classmate at a party, do you talk to him or brush him off?
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you really didn’t even want to go to that stupid party. everyone had class tomorrow but from the looks of it, they could care less.
“you gonna be okay by yourself?” your friend asked over the blasting music, “yeah im just gonna be a-“ hell if they cared. ‘yeah’ was all they needed to hear. no specifics.
you sighed walking away from the overcrowded living and into the kitchen. that wasn’t an easy task either, seeing as everyone was wasted. “‘scuse me..’scuse me” you state pushing past people. you finally make it to the drink table fixing yourself a vodka cran.
you notice some guy you know from your criminal justice class, babysitting a beer. “hey you’re, [𝜗𝜚], right?” he questions as you look up at him offering a friendly smile “yeah..do i know you?” you make small talk.
“uh—sam, criminal justice, fifth row?” he lists as you feign remembrance “right right, i totally remember you sam” you giggled. “no that was kind of stupid huh? thats my bad” the giant raised his hands in surrender.
large hands, strong grip, lord have mercy.
“you uh—you here with anyone tonight?” he spoke up after a beat or two. he’s doing the thing, you can tell. “my friend, shes..” you trailed off looking around the room not spotting her, “she’s somewhere around here” before sam chuckled lightly.
you sip your drink settling in the silence, it’s comfortable.
time goes by rather quickly as you and sam just chat mostly. you can tell that the drinks he’s had is making him more cocky. he’s making all sorts of comments from ‘yeah, i changed my major..” to ‘you wanna get out of here?’.
12:03 am
“nguh!” you moan out as sam thrusts into you faster from behind, “hmph” he growls before slapping your ass and grabbing your hips to force you back again.
“fuck, oh my gosh” you shout as your arms give and you fall head first into the bed. sam pushes further on your arched back as he continues fucking you senseless.
all to be heard was; skin slapping, muffled sentences, and animalistic grunts n groans.
“stay like that, dont move” sam groans referring to your ‘face down, ass up’ position. this way seems like you can feel just how deep he is.
“oh my gosh! fuck, don’t stop” you cry out as it gets muffled into the bed sheets which you’re holding onto for dear life.
sam soon feels his orgasm creeping up which is the only reason why he’s slowing down as we speak. “fuck right there” he grunts as his resolve snaps and hot white lines are coating your clenched walls.
sam kept going until you caught up with your own climax. he collapses next to you “c’mere” the man nods you over before kissing your temple and letting you rest on his chest.
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@cursed-carmine dividers!
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ghoulphile · 1 year ago
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no use cryin' over spilled milk | c.h./the ghoul
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➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 2.8 k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; dirty talk, frottage, lactation kink, pregnant!reader, fingerfucking, praise kink, breast play, the ghoul calls reader pretty mama, he's a pervert who wants to lend a 'helping' hand ➥ summary | based off this ask; oops being an experiment from vault 4 where you may be the first rad resistant human pregnant with a possibly rad resistant baby, and you come across the ghoul who helps you get to a safe place but then he gets attached with you and the baby 🥺 (this is just me trying to insert a lactation kink somewhere i'm sorry) ➥ notes | uhhhh pls let me know if i missed anything, my brain is dribbling out my ears (its 3:44 am and i have work at 8 am rip) but the parasites persist. i'll do the tag list when i wake up ❤️ masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated ❤️
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Going topside wasn’t an easy decision.
In fact, bile bitter regret often lingers in the back of your throat - a lump that stifled the air in your lungs.
And while you might’ve been bioengineered to survive better under these harsh wasteland conditions, every time you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, you're catapulted headlong into paralyzing self doubt; alone and rudderless.
No one lives in the vaults - not truly.
Birdie (and the others) warned you of what awaited beyond those lead-lined walls. But you couldn’t abide spending the rest of your life trapped in a cage, albeit a gilded one.
Not anymore.
Oh no, you wanted to feel a real breeze instead of air pumped through the HVAC. Experience the sun baking warm into your skin like fresh bread instead of the artificial heat of the UV lamp used for mandatory light therapy sessions. Complain about the chafe of sand in your shoes and hear the crunch of dirt under foot instead of a hollow clunk of sterile metal.
To witness first hand all the sights, sounds, and smells this world offers. 
Only… you didn’t expect it to be this hard.
Nor did you expect to be pregnant when setting off into the great unknown on your own (a definite oversight on your part [you really shouldn’t have had one last hurrah before hitting the road]).
Through trial and error, motion sicknesses that swing into crippling nausea as manic energy - your first taste of true freedom! - dwindled into dragging fatigue, you found a happy medium. None of which would have been possible had it not been for the most unlikely of companions.
Ghouls; who knew, huh?
Sure, you’d heard of them from the rotating door of visitors that found themselves at Vault 4, but you’d never seen them. While you grew up surrounded by visible mutations, seeing the battlefield of his body was off putting; how a person could survive a patina of burns and patchwork slices without unraveling at the seams was beyond you.
And kind of frightening.
But he took it in stride, introducing himself as Ghoul. Refused to divulge anything else of substance no matter how much you poked and prodded.  His life pre-bomb was a complete mystery filled with plot holes and unanswered questions (which is exactly what he preferred).
You learned to be comfortable with his meandering conversations, and all the words he spoke that said much of nothing. And what you did glean, you did so through observation alone. 
He was alone - had been for a very long time.
He was very old - one of the last of his kind.
And he was, in his own way, very kind - at least by wasteland standards.
“The fuck you doin’?”
Pausing, you stop mid push and hover awkwardly on your hands and knees. The vault suit pulls taut across your hips, pinching behind your knees uncomfortably. Your toes squeak in your shoes, socks thoroughly soaked through with sweat.
It’s been unseasonably hot (or it’s the hormones). Whatever the case, this is the first semi-decent lodging you’ve camped in for weeks, and you’re not about to miss an opportunity to freshen up.
And maybe find a way to soothe the building ache in your tits - flesh swollen tender and nipples rubbed raw.
“I’m just, uh, gonna,” you motion towards the back of the house, the askew bathroom door clinging to its hinges by a corner, “y’know, f-freshen up. See if they don’t still have some water.”
The Ghoul scans you up and down, gimlet-eyed. “S’that so?”
You huff, your knees starting to ache.
Being five months pregnant throws your center of gravity for a loop, the atmosphere weighing extra heavy on your bones. It doesn’t help that the baby’s decided sitting directly on your bladder with a foot tucked under your ribs is the best position.
“Didn’t know I needed permission to take a piss now,” you snipe. Usually, you try to reign in the hormones but the day’s been too long and you’re in pain. Anyone would be a little snippy (right?). “Can I do that on my own or do you need to watch, Mr. Ghoul?”
A faint smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his gaze glinting from beneath the rim of his hat as he tips his head. “Better watch it, sweetheart,” he says. “Otherwise, I might have’ta wash your mouth out with soap.”
Pushing yourself up with a grunt, you determinedly ignore the raspy chuckle that follows as you waddle towards the bathroom. Cussing him out all the while in your mind.
While he’s been ‘nicer’ today - stopping for extra breaks, even packing it in several hours earlier than usual because he noticed how weary you looked - he’s still an asshole.
The toilet’s gone, the tub’s tipped sideways, the linoleum’s cracked, and closing the door sounds like a pack of howling mole rats but its functional. When you catch your reflection in the spider web fractures of the mirror, you grimace.
The wastes have certainly left their mark on you. Gone is the prim-and-proper vault dweller, replaced by a gremlin of a woman Overseer Benjamin would surely scowl at.
A true ‘surfie’ now.
“Great,” you groan, scrubbing a palm over your face. “Just - ugh!”
You’re caked in grime, a steak of dirt smeared across the bridge of your nose. Mysterious stains darken the blue fabric, the golden stripes of your suit an off-putting grey.
Your hair clumps in greasy chunks. You’re glossy with sweat, and while your curves have plumped up over the last few months, you didn’t realize just how much until now.
The vault suit’s always been tight - now it clings and creases in unflattering places. And there’s nothing you can do about it, unless the Ghoul is willing to spare a sewing kit.
You could let the waist out some…
What the hell am I gonna do if he won’t? There’s no way I’ll fit if this baby gets any bigger. Shit, I look like a fucking sausage. Your hand cradles the side of your stomach, stroking over the bump with a frown. This is all your fault, you little parasite.
“You better be so fucking cute - the cutest goddamn baby in the wasteland. Or I will riot.”
Tugging down the zipper over your breasts is heaven, the swollen flesh spilling out of the parting fabric, no longer compressed. It’s almost enough to make you cry as you struggle to tug the lycra off your shoulders, the fabric putting up a fight.
After some awkward contortions that pull uncomfortably at the muscles of your shoulder blades, you manage to wrangle yourself free.
The temptation to burn the stupid goddamn suit is almost too much to resist, but then you’d really be traipsing around the wasteland in the nude and just… no.
Peeling off your undershirt is another story altogether, the soft cotton feeling like sandpaper as it scrapes over sensitive skin. Your nerves tingle with awareness, bolts of pain shooting through your nipples with every shift.
Quick like a bandaid, you think, taking a steadying inhale.
It’s a miracle you don’t scream.
Tears cling to your lashes, your nose running as you toss the shirt to the side with one hand and cradle your chest with the other. Sure, you’ve had tenderness with your period but this kind of pain? A whole new level.
You almost don’t know what to do with yourself.
How is this fair - aren’t you suffering enough?
Sniffling, you peer down at your tits and gingerly cup them with your palms. Swollen hard and warm to the touch; a heavy weight crushing your ribs.
Do I really have to milk myself like a fucking brahmin? Another bolt of lightning crackles through your nerve endings as if in response. Fine. God, this is embarrassing.
Only any attempt at touching your nipples produces pure agony, shards of glass biting into delicate skin.
No matter how slight your touch, no matter how gentle your fingers - it doesn’t work. Leaves you more distraught and in pain than when you began as inflamed nerve endings crackle and burn.
And when the tears truly start, the dam breaks. It’s not long before they drip down your cheeks in fat rivulets, your breath hitching from you in pathetic little exhales.
Your fist shoves against your mouth in an attempt to smother the sounds, teeth sinking into your knuckle until you leave sore indents.
But you should know better, not only does the Ghoul have heightened senses (he’s taunted you constantly with this fact like the asshole he is), but he’s uncannily perceptive in a very annoying way.
You don’t hear the squeal of the door, but you do sense his presence behind you; the rad warm burn of his body as he stops a scant few inches away. You feel his breath against the nape of your neck, the barest brush of his chest as he inhales.
“You ready ta stop bein’ stubborn?” he hums. “I thought I told you not ta wait s’long.”
Your voice warbles from you, “G’way.” You curl into yourself, shoulders hunching as you hang your head. “Don’t need your help.”
The Ghoul snorts. “Cuz you doin’ so well on your own, huh?”
“I resent that.” You shoot him a weak glare, the animosity ruined by the crumble of your lips. “I really, really do.”
You hate always having to rely on him, so desperate to prove that you can take care of yourself only to have every effort to do so thrown back in your face.
Shit, you hate how right Birdie was, “Honey, you won’t last five minutes on your own. Please stay here with us where it’s safe.”
“Well, maybe so. But pickers can’t be choosers, sweetheart,” he shrugs with a languid roll of the shoulders. “Ain’t no use cryin’ over spilled milk. C’mon, the longer you wait, the worse it’s gon be.”
“I just - you don’t understand…”
He reaches around you to set his hat on the sink, the dwindling light of twilight creeping in through the holes in the roof to bathe him in its bloody light.
He looks like a grotesque demon that clawed its way from the depths of hell. It gets your pulse thudding, electric awareness an unwelcome visitor as it roosts behind your navel.
“I understand plenty. Now, let me.”
Not an offer - not really.
More akin to a demand, one wrapped up pretty like a gift. You’ve been here many times before, and while the Ghoul proffers his help under the guise of not wanting to hear your bitching and moaning, the hungry gleam of his eyes as they rake over your face say otherwise.
If it’s one thing you’ve learned in your travels with him, it’s this: he is entirely self-serving. He offers because he wants to suck on a set of pretty tits. If you happen to cream your panties while he does, well, he counts it as a win-win.
Quid pro quo.
And what you hate more than how utterly correct everyone is about life on the surface, is how needy he makes you. How desperate and dumb and dripping he’s got you by the end, drunk off the flick of his tongue and the rasp of his touch.
Because it’s so hard to be strong in the face of pain when the solution is right there; open-palmed.
“...Fine, just don’t - don’t leave marks this time, okay?”
A slow waking smile creaks across his face, and he says, “I ain’t makin’ any promises, sweetheart.”
Your stomach swoops, and your thighs clench.
Shit.
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Scarred lips work over tender flesh as a talented tongue flicks and swirls over the bumps of your areola, the tip digging into your nipple and drawing the swollen nub into a hot mouth. You whimper, arms tossed over the Ghoul’s broad shoulders.
Cold ceramic digs into the base of your spine, your body crowded back against the sink as he plasters himself to your front. Cuts off any escape routes and refuses to let you squirm away from the overwhelming sensations as he suckles.
Heavy palms grope at the plush curves of your hips, fingertips digging into the fat.
His lips pop off your nipple with a sticky smack. “Always taste s’fucking good,” he groans against your sternum. “Got the prettiest set a tits in the wasteland.”
“Hnn! N-Not so hard.”
While you say that, you don’t mean it - not really. Your pussy throbs in time with your heartbeat, clit swollen and aching for friction. Your inner thighs are a mess of slick, your vault suit caught around your knees.
He never touches you below the waist directly (some boundaries still exist between you two), but at this point in your pregnancy, you’re so sensitive a gentle breeze could set you off.
“Heh, ain’t you know lyin’s a sin?” he says.
A scarred cheek drags over the swell of your breast, the rasp of rad burn alighting your nerves. Bolts of desire ricochet down your spine, fizzle like Nuka Cola on your tongue. He presses an open mouth kiss to your nipple, his tongue flicking out to massage the tender bud.
At the taste of your skin, his cock twitches where its grinding against your thigh. You feel him through his ragged pinstripe slacks, his shaft a thick line of heat.
It’s probably the hormones (you refuse to admit its anything else) but just the thought of touching him, of sinking down onto his erection - feeling how fucking good he’d stretch you out and fill you up - makes you dizzy.
You pant, your voice distinctly whiny when you say, “Please, d-do something. It still hurts.”
His grin reminds you of the mongrels roaming the wastelands. “Sh,” he hushes you. “I got you, sweetheart.”
The tips of his fingers brush along the side of your swollen stomach. Your heart flips in your chest, your breath catching as he follows the contours of your body, reaching down to brush over the skin of your mound. This is new, he’s never done this before. It’s simultaneously as arousing as it is terrifying.
“Can smell how wet you are for me,” he says, tone low and gruff. “You gonna be a good girl for me, ain’t you?”
“I-”
Then his mouth is slurping at your tit, his teeth biting down on your nipple gently as those strong fingers dip between your thighs. Blunt nails scratch through your pubic hair, a calloused pad swirling circles around your slippery clit. Your hips jump, your head rolling back between your shoulders as a loud moan rips itself from your throat.
You arch back so far your belly presses against the Ghoul’s, your tits smothering his face.
You think, half deliriously, it’s a good thing he doesn’t have a nose otherwise you might’ve broken it.
“Shit, that’s so - oh, fuck, please, please, please!’
Your legs widen to make room for his hand as yours fly up to grab his biceps, nails biting into the rough leather of his duster.
His tongue flutters across your areola. “C’mon, pretty mama, give it ta me.”
“Oh.” Sparks dance behind your eyes, your knees shaking as the Ghoul strokes over your folds, tests your wetness and the give of your cunt as he plays with your entrance. “Right there,” you gasp. “I’m gonna…”
He grunts, tugging on your nipple with his teeth.
The sharp bite of pain shoots through you, deepens the kindling warmth behind your navel that steadily builds and builds and builds. You feel on the very edge, nerves plucked like the keys of a piano.
So close you can taste it.
Then a tingling starts in the tips of your fingers.
Burns its way up your arms to settle in the weight of your chest, pins and needles pricking across the skin of your tits, lancing through the swollen buds of your nipples.
You tremble, the relief bringing tears to your eyes as tears the heaviness releases in a warm flood, your milk letting down to flow into the Ghoul’s eagerly pulling mouth.
“Fuckin’ finally,” he moans, chasing after the taste by nuzzling into your chest. His cock ruts against you. “Took you’re sweet damn time, didn’t you, darlin’?”
Your head spins, hazy thoughts scattering like confetti.
Endorphins simmer through your veins as you float on a cloud of cotton softness. Reality seems worlds away, your vision blurry as you focus on the points of contact between your bodies. The stretch of his fingers plunging into your pussy to stroke over the front wall.
Mouth slack, your hands creep up the Ghoul’s arms to trace over the sides of his neck, watch the dance of your fingers over his skin. “It feels s’good,” you slur. “Please don’t stop - wanna cum just like this.”
“Heh, wouldn’t dream of it.”
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laceyhearts · 5 days ago
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౨ৎ WHITE GIRL MUSIC ; QUINN HUGHES !
➪ summary: y/n arrives home to her boyfriend and his brothers doing something unexpected
➪ pairing: quinn hughes x fem!reader, jack hughes x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader
➪ warnings: none, not proofread per usual
➪ word count: 0.6k
➪ emma's notes: uhhhh idk why i wanted to edit this, i truly have no notes. but yes, i did listen to my white girl music playlist while editing this.
© laceyhearts ; do not copy, repost, translate, or put my work through ai generators. do not copy or remake my themes, graphics, or layouts.
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The day had been long; it was one of those days where tasks seemed to prolong, people asked too many questions, and with breaks shorter than she was. She could feel the weight of the past 9 hours weighing down on her as she walked up the steps and down the hallway to her and Quinn’s apartment, a dull ache forming behind her eyes. 
Her bag slipped off her shoulder when she reached the door, eyes narrowing on the muddy footprints on the welcome mat. She wasn’t expecting company, the season had ended leaving Quinn free as she tied up a few loose ends at work, which meant her night would be filled with homemade pizzas, cuddles, and watching a crappy reality tv show, that’s the way it always was. 
She stuck her key in the lock, turning it and pushing the door open, pausing when she heard the familiar rhythm of a Selena Gomez song paired with three distinctive male voices. Maybe she was delirious, maybe the music was coming from across the hall or next door.
Y/n shook her head, walking further into the apartment, kicking her shoes off quietly. As she went, the music only got louder, and soon she was met with the sight of her boyfriend and his two brothers, dancing and singing in the living room. 
“I, I love you like a love song baby and I keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat”
She leaned against the wall, her lips turned up in a smirk, her arms crossed, looking like a mom watching her kids get along for the first time in ages. She watched Jack jump on the couch, holding a spatula that she was sure she hadn’t seen in months, since she moved in. 
Luke stood on a bean bag, one that she had bought one day when Quinn was gone, and she had spent too much time on Pinterest, his white socks standing out against the navy blue fabric. Quinn was just off to the side, not as hyper as his younger brothers, but he still sang along, nodding his head to the beat while he scrolled on his phone, a wide smile on his face.
“Hi, boys.”
The three froze, exchanging looks with one another before turning, seeing her standing there, laughing uncontrollably. Their faces flushed a deep red, Jack slowly lowering his arm, hiding the spatula behind his back, acting as if the past 3 minutes that she was in the apartment weren’t long enough for her to notice it. 
Luke hesitantly spoke, his voice filled with embarrassment, “Hi y/n.”
Her boyfriend stayed silent, walking over to her, his steps cautious. Never in a million years did Quinn think he’d be singing pop music in his apartment with his two younger brothers, much less getting caught by the girl he loves while doing it. 
When he reached her, his hands found their home on her hips, letting her rise to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I come home from an exhausting day at work to find you and your brothers listening to Selena Gomez in my living room?”
They didn’t say anything, just shifted their weight from foot to foot, looking everywhere but at her. She narrowed her eyes as he glanced at the middle brother, frowning, “And Jack Rowden Hughes, if you do not get off my couch in the next five seconds-”
He didn’t let her finish her sentence, jumping off the couch, landing on his feet with a heavy thud that caused her and Quinn to cringe, “Sorry.”
“What are you two even doing here? I thought you didn’t get in until this weekend.”
The two just looked at her and gave her a fake smile. “We missed Quinn?”
“Mhm, okay. Well, I for one am exhausted, and I will be going into the bedroom. But you three are more than okay to continue listening to your white girl playlist and singing your hearts out.”
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QH43 MASTERLIST ; NHL MASTERLIST ; OTHER MASTERLISTS
JOIN THE TAGLIST ; MY NAVIGATION
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the-teufort-nine · 6 months ago
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The BLU Chemist Reader returns for their final fic! 11k words and about a week of work and beta reading by @pinkypiechar have led to this! I hope it lives up to expectations!
If you like the idea of a Chemist Reader, please consider checking out my longer, RED Chemist Fem!Reader fic, whenever I actually get around to writing it.
Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction PART 3: Chem and RED's Excellent Adventure
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Hurt/Comfort, Discussion of Poly Relationship, Crossfaction Flirting | NSFW, because while technically no sex happens, its definitely discussed/implied| Cw: starvation, mentions of graphic death/description of a corpse, mentions of pet death (non graphic), possesive behaviours ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Featuring:
Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here, as well as a particularly charming duo from the enemy team.
Scenario: Having been stranded at the new base with no hope of making it back to their team alone, the BLU Chemist must ask their mortal enemy for help. Thankfully, even a RED Engineer has some good ole' southern hospitality, and the Texan offers to get the BLU back to their team. (Un)fortunately, someone else has joined in on their little quest...
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The RED team's Engineer had seen many things during his time working for Mann Co., but the sight before him now may have been the strangest yet.
The BLU Chemist, whom everyone knew had died during that horrible Respawn failure, was standing on the other end of his trusty shotgun.
Well, standing might have been too generous a word. The Merc was swaying like a sapling in a storm, trembling from the effort of staying upright. Their usually vibrant eyes were dull behind their safety goggles, which didn't hug their face like usual. Everything they wore looked baggy and ill-fitting, barely hanging onto their gaunt, thin form. They looked dead, as though their soul had been dragged back from the afterlife and shoved into their corpse.
“How the hell…” he lowered his gun, blue eyes narrowing in disbelief, “Ain't you supposed to be dead?” 
“I was.” They shrugged weakly, stumbling slightly, “Now I'm not. I actually just died again a few hours ago, and I'm pretty sure my team might think I'm actually dead. Again.”
“Jesus Mary and Joseph.” The Engineer cursed, before opening the door wider. “Well, I reckon since it's a ceasefire, ah ain't bein’ paid t’ kill ‘ya, so y’ may as well come in. Just try ‘n keep the noise down, otherwise you're gonna have 9 curious bastards pokin’ atcha.”
“I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.” The BLU replied, wincing as they stepped into the illuminated interior. “Jesus, that's bright.”
“It really ain't.” The Southerner arched a concerned brow, “You’re just sick as a dog.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” Came the Chemist’s grumbled response.
“Where’d you come from? Ain’t much ‘round here that could get ‘ya killed, aside from us.” He asked, extending a hand to steady his unexpected guest as they tilted towards the wall.
“Uhhhh,” The Chemist scrubbed at their eyes, letting their hand drag down their face. Their E/C eyes stared blankly at the wall as they tried to call forth an answer. “Colorado. Yeah, we were in Colorado. We had to stop at this little town called Limon ‘cause there was a tornado.”
“A tornado?”
“Yeah. It knocked down a utility pole. That’s how I died again, actually! Biggggg ole electric shock.”
Engineer let out a low whistle. “Nasty way to go. You are one unlucky sumbitch, huh?”
The Chemist inclined their head. “Or, I’m a lucky ‘sumbitch’, depending on how you look at it. I’ve cheated Death twice now, after all.”
Engineer snorted at their attempt to mimic his accent. It reminded him of his own team’s Chemist, who was tucked away upstairs, sleeping peacefully. She often copied his countryisms, and he would sometimes catch her unconsciously copying the accent or speech mannerisms of whomever she was speaking to.
“Maybe.” he acquiesced, “Yer a right tough bastard, ah’ll give ‘ya that. No wonder yer such a pain in the ass when we’re scrappin’.”
The other Merc grinned a bit. “Being a pain in the ass is my specialty.”
Before he knew it, Engineer found himself standing in the Intel room, where the base’s phone was located. Thankfully, their Intel was still packed away in a secure safe, but even if it wasn’t, the man was fairly sure that this BLU wouldn’t try and snag it.
“Here ‘ya are! Hope ‘ya get through to someone.” He said, offering the phone to the exhausted Chemist.
“‘Preciate it.” They said, taking the phone and punching in a few numbers. They leaned against the wall, head resting on the wood as they listened to the phone ring. After a minute, they frowned, letting out a soft curse.
“Pauling’s not picking up. The storm must have knocked out her signal.” They sighed, “Great. Guess I'm waiting back at our base for them to show up. Whenever that is.”
“Are you gonna be able to hang on that long?” The Texan questioned, “No offense, partner, but you look like yer gonna drop.”
The Chemist sighed again, in a long, drawn out way, the way someone did when bone deep exhaustion finally caught up to them. The way animals do when they've given all they can, and now simply must lie down and wait for the inevitable.
“It's not like I have much of a choice. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?” They asked.
“Well,” The RED Merc scratched at his chin, contemplating if what he was about to do was a good idea, “Ah don't know if you know this, but we're in good ‘ole Texas, and Colorado really ain't too far from where we're stationed. If ‘ya want, ah could drive ‘ya on over there.”
The BLU raised their head off the wall, eyes widening in surprise.
“You- you'd do that? For me? Why?” 
Engineer shrugged. “Ah feel bad fer ‘ya. ‘Sides, if you die, then they're gonna replace you with someone new, and ah rather prefer the enemy ah know to the enemy ah don't.”
The two mercenaries stared at one another for a long moment, the only sound being the cricket song coming from outside. Finally, the Chemist let out a dry, wheezing laugh, their teeth bared in a vicious grin.
“Good God I must be insane, trusting a RED.” They chuckled, “You know what? Sure, I'll take you up on that offer, cowboy.”
They reached forward and playfully tugged down the brim of Engineer's hat, causing him to lightly bat their hand away.
“Cream gravy! Alright, let's mosey on out then. Ah wanna be back before mah team starts wonderin’ where ah went.” He said, starting off in the direction of his truck, which was parked faithfully outside.
The Chemist plodded along behind him, and there were a few times where he had to glance back to make sure that they hadn't fallen behind too much. When they finally did make it to the truck, Engineer let them climb into the passenger seat while he nipped over to the trunk. Flipping it open, he pulled out an old, well loved blanket. It was black and white and gray striped, something he'd gotten for his childhood dog, Bucket. Bucket had been a fat, lazy beagle who did nothing but lounge around and bark at guests, but the man had loved him more than anything.
Bucket had passed away some time ago, but he'd never stopped taking the blanket along with him. Now, it would finally get to see some use again.
“Here,” he passed the blanket to the shivering Merc, “It ain't much, but it should help keep ‘ya from freezin’ over ‘till the heat kicks on.”
“T- Thanks.” The Chemist replied, gingerly taking the offered fabric. They thumbed the worn fabric, setting it across their lap.
“No problem.” Engineer replied, shutting the door to his side. 
For a moment, it almost sounded like one of the back doors had shut as well, and he looked back over his shoulder, eyes squinting in the low light. His gaze lingered for a moment, but when nothing revealed itself, he slowly turned back around and started up the truck.
“Ah’ve got a map in ‘m glove box. Pull it out and let's find that little town of yers.”
The Chemist nodded, and Engineer put the truck into drive.
It was going to be a long drive.
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A couple of hours into their trek, the RED Engineer noticed that his passenger was starting to droop more than usual. Worse than that, he could hear their stomach growling like an ornery gator every few minutes.
Wordlessly, he eyed up the nearby fast food places before pulling off the road they'd been driving on. The Chemist didn't even seem to notice, too preoccupied with just staying somewhat awake.
“You up for a snack, Darl’?” He asked, gently nudging the BLU.
“Mnhm.” They mumbled back, “C’n I have m’ cheeseburger yet?”
“Sure, we can do a McDonald's run.” Engineer replied, turning into the nearest drive through.
He quickly placed an order for both his guest and himself, paying and grabbing the food before finding a spot to park.
“Here ‘ya go. One genuine American cheeseburger.” The Texan said, handing the Chemist their food.
The Chemist stared at the offered meal, gently cradling the wrapped burger in their hands, as though it were some sort of priceless treasure.
“Engie, I could genuinely suck your dick right now.” They said softly, before sinking their teeth into the cheeseburger, not even bothering to take off the wrapper.
The RED Merc’s face turned the same shade as his uniform, and he pulled down his hat to hide his rosey cheeks.
“Don't- y’ cant just-” he stumbled, trying to make words come out of his mouth properly, “Jesus, don't eat the wrapper!”
“Sorieh, ah can't heawr you.” The Chemist replied through a mouthful of cheeseburger and cheeseburger wrapper, “Ahm too buwsy eaghting.”
“At least slow down.” He muttered, tucking into his own food.
And yes, he did take the wrapper off, thank you very much.
“Yes, please do. I have no desire to see you hork down that disgusting slop like a wild beast.”
Both BLU and RED mercenaries choked as a third voice piped up from the back, scaring them out of their wits. 
“SPY!” Engineer whirled around as the Chemist hacked up their mouthful of food, the BLU thankfully having the wherewithal to stick their head out of the window, “What the hell do you think you're doing here?! How did you even get in mah truck?!”
“I followed you and slipped into the back when you were rooting around for that rag.” Spy replied, indicating to the blanket, which had halfway slipped down onto the floor. “What are you doing here, labourer? Having some sort of illicit affair with zhe enemy?”
“If- If you actually thought that,” the Chemist coughed, pounding on their chest, “then you hiding out in the back is super creepy, dude.”
“Yeah, well bein’ a creep is about all this one knows.” Engineer grit out, nostrils flaring like an enraged bull, “But usually, he knows better than to try that with me.”
“I was simply curious as to why you were sneaking off with someone who is supposed to be dead.” The masked man said, producing a cigarette from one of his pockets, “Zhe Administrator is not going to be pleased when she finds out you have been acting rather… friendly with each other.”
“Yeah, well, what is she gonna do, kill me?” The Chemist snarked. “If she wanted me dead, she wouldn't have let Pauling go ‘n get me. I must be worth more to her alive than dead.”
“She ain't got no eyes here anyway.” Engineer added, “Trust me. Ah personally go over every inch of mah equipment and vehicles at least once a week, t’ check for any bugs or cameras. Mah Betsy is as clean as a whistle.”
Engineer moved like a striking cobra, his prosthetic hand closing around Spy's suit jacket. The Frenchman dropped his cigarette as he was jerked forward, a flicker of fear coming over his face.
“And you, spook, ain't gonna breathe a damn word to Her ‘bout anything that happens on this trip, ‘cause if you do,” he tightened his grip, the metal components straining slightly under the pressure, “ah’ll know, and you won't like what happens next.”
Spy rolled his eyes, but both the Chemist and the Engineer could see that the man was sufficiently intimidated.
“Very well, I shall be silent about your little ‘road trip.’” he sneered, “And zhe Chemist's generous offer.”
“Great.” Engineer said cheerily through gritted teeth, “Ah can tell this is gonna be real fun.”
“Yippee.” The Chemist added dully, before taking another bite of their burger.
“Wh- TAKE OFF THE DAMN WRAPPER!”
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Travelling with the RED Engineer had been surprisingly nice. It was almost like being back with your own Engineer, what with the southern man being so kind and polite to you, despite you both being on opposing sides.
Travelling with the RED Spy was not nearly as pleasant.
Him and the Engineer bickered almost constantly, and when they weren't bickering, Spy started semi-flirting, semi-picking on you, which usually led to yet another round of bickering.
Truly, it was almost like being stuck in a car with two overgrown toddlers.
“Is he always this insufferable?” You hissed to Engineer after Spy started listing off all the ways your outfit was offending the very concept of clothing.
“No.” Engineer sighed, looking very much like he'd like to drive all three of you into a ditch, “He's purposefully bein’ more of an ass than usual ‘cause you're here. Usually, he's a lot more quiet.”
“I'd like to see that.” You groused, before refocusing on the map in your lap. Your previous consumed cheeseburger and fries felt uncomfortably heavy in your weakened stomach, but they did help to restore some of your lost energy.
“Okay, it looks like we need to take a left in about 6 miles. We'll be turning onto Canyon Rd.” You read aloud, “We'll be on that one for a while.”
“It's real nice to have someone along who can actually read a map.” Engineer chuckled, “Usually, it's either Scout, Solly, or Pyro who rides with me into town every time we need t’ get supplies, and none ‘a them are any help when it comes to navigatin.’”
“Heh, yeah, mine aren't real great at that either.” You smiled, thinking of all the times you'd heard the three of them bickering on missions.
“Are zhose three good for anything besides destroying zhings?” Spy asked, lounging in the back like a smug cat.
“Sure.” You replied, not looking up from the map, “My Scout's actually really good at impersonating other people, Soldier is a baking whiz when it comes to bread, and Pyro can sniff out backstabbing French bastards like nobody else.”
Spy definitely didn't start pouting as Engineer started cackling like a madman, his shoulders shaking with mirth. You grinned at the sound, your own quiet chuckles joining in.
“Hooo-wee! They gotcha there, slim!” he laughed, wiping at his eye.
Spy glared. “I'm glad you find zhe idea of me dying so amusing, toymaker.” 
“Oh, lighten up, would you.” You glanced back over your shoulder to look at the masked man, “Are you seriously going to tell me you guys don't joke about killing us?”
“I don't joke about killing,” Spy sniffed, “I just kill.”
Engineer snorted as you rolled your eyes, turning back to your map. “Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say, frog legs. Turn left up here, Engie.”
“No insulting names for zhe cowpoke?” Spy arched his brow.
“Considering he's been nothing but nice to me? No. Maybe if you turn your attitude around, I'll think of something nicer to call you, too.”
“I have no desire to be as, ah, close as you two seem to be.”
You gripped the seat as you whipped around again, eyes widened in anger-tinged disbelief. “Holy shit are you still fixated on that? What, do you want me to offer to suck you off too?!”
Spy recoiled back a bit, stiffening up as the exposed skin of his upper cheeks turned a shade of pink usually reserved for flowers. However,
He didn’t say no.
“Oh, my God.” You said, raising your brows as a smirk pulled the corner of your mouth upwards, “Oh, my God.”
“Merde, no, zhat’s not what I-”
“Well,” You relaxed your grip on the seat and folded your arms, tilting your head slightly as you watched Spy squirm, looking every bit like the cat that got the cream, “you’d have to be very nice to me to get that sort of offer.”
“Je vais t'éviscérer comme un poisson si tu continues à parler!”
“Now, see, I don’t know what you just said, but it didn’t sound very nice.” You turned back around, barely holding in your laughter, “No blowjob offer for you. I guess you won’t have to share, Engie.”
“Well don’t that beat all?” Engineer replied playfully, “You sure yer team won’t mind, though?”
“The way I see it,” You said, readjusting the blanket the man had given you, “you have gone out of your way to bring me back to them, and you let me actually eat the cheeseburger you bought me. They can suck it up.”
“Sounds like you’ll be the one suckin’.” The Texan murmured under his breath, too quiet for you to hear.
“What was that?”
“Nothin!” Engineer replied, “Just talkin’ t’ m’self.”
“Is that a thing all engineers do?” You asked, “My Engie does that too, usually when he’s working on something.”
“Maybe. Mah Pa used to do it fer sure.” The RED Merc shrugged, “Wait, does yer Engineer let y’all into his workshop?”
“Well, he let’s me and Pyro in.” You said, recalling all the times you and the firebug had hung out in the space, “Sometimes Medic is allowed in, but everyone else gets the boot, unless he calls them in to help him with something.”
“Interesting.” Spy said, apparently having recovered from his embarrassment enough to speak, “Zhis one has barred us all from entering his sacred domain. Not even our Chemist get’s zhat privilege. You must mean quite a bit to him.”
“If y’all didn’t go ‘round putin’ yer grubby mitts all over everything, maybe I would let y’ in.” Engineer smacked the steering wheel, frustration in his tone, “Honestly, it’s like herdin’ cats when I let y’all anywhere near mah stuff! ‘Sides, don’tcha remember what happened the last time I let someone play around with mah equipment, Spy?”
“Oui.” Spy shuddered, “I don’t zhink we will ever fully get zhe smell of bread yeast out of zhat base.”
“I’m sorry- bread yeast?” You shot the two RED members a confused look, “What does bread have to do with you not letting anyone near your stuff?”
“It’s a long story, but I suppose we got the time.” Engineer cleared his throat, “It all started one afternoon. We’d just got done killin’ yer team and makin’ off with yer Intelligence…”
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Engineer and Spy’s wild tale of love, RED victory, and bread monsters kept you entertained for the next few hours or so, the three of you eventually getting sidetracked by various other topics. By the time the sun started to rise over the Colorado horizon, the conversation had switched to being about everyone’s favourite foods.
“Look, there ain’t nothin’ better fer breakfast than a nice cup’ a coffee, bacon ‘n eggs with a side of buttered toast, biscuits, and sausage gravy ‘n grits.” Engineer said, voice full of confidence.
“I think I would actually explode if I ate all of that.” You stuck out your tongue, feeling ill at just the thought of eating so much food. If this man ate like that every morning, then it was no wonder that he sported such a plump figure in comparison to most of his other teammates.
Not that you were complaining.
“I agree, mon petit saphir.” Spy said, curling his lip. “Zhat is a disgusting amount of food for zhe very first meal of zhe day.”
“Ooh, whatever that name was, it sounded a lot nicer.” You said teasingly. “See? I knew you could do it!”
“Well would ‘ya look at that? You actually got him to simmer down.” Engineer grinned, ducking when Spy swiped irritably at his head, “Maybe you should come join up with RED. We could probably stash you away somewhere, hand y’ over to Spy when we need him to settle.”
You laughed, imagining yourself with a little service animal harness. “Tell you what, If my team decides to murder me for dying again right in front of ‘em, I’ll switch sides.” 
“Heh, partner, you’ve got yerself a deal.” Engineer stuck out his hand, and you gripped it, giving it the best shake your weak arms could manage. 
“It seems as zhough you’ll be making your decision sooner rather zhan later.” Spy leaned forward and pointed at an upcoming road sign, which read “Limon Welcomes You!”
“Oh SHIT we’re here!” You sat forward quickly, before wincing and holding your head, “Oh, woof, headrush. That was a bad idea.”
“Good Lord, this place has seen better days.” Engineer said, gazing at the many fallen tree branches and damaged buildings, “Where did you say y’all were stayin’ again?”
“We sheltered in an old garage near the outskirts of town.” You replied, wincing at the amount of damage you saw, “I hope they haven’t gone too far, but I wouldn’t blame them for wanting to get away as soon as possible.”
“I doubt zhey wanted to linger around your charred corpse.” You nodded grimly at Spy’s comment, not particularly looking forward to seeing it yourself, but needing to check if your team was still around.
Soon enough, the three of you pulled up to the abandoned mechanic shop. The building looked even worse than when you had last seen it, and the lack of nearby vehicles did not make you feel particularly hopeful that you would find your team here. Still, your temporary RED companion pulled over and hopped out of his truck, putting a steadying hand on your shoulder when he saw you struggling to maintain your balance. Spending so many hours sitting down did not help your already weak legs to support your weight. Stepping inside the building proper, you were careful to avoid the downed utility pole and various cables. Only a few feet away from the door lay an unmoving mass with a familiar colour scheme.
Seeing your own dead body never got any less unsettling. Usually, it was blown into unrecognizable pieces, or shot so full of bullet holes that it resembled red and blue swiss cheese, but this time it was wholly intact, save for the skin that had burned and blackened from the intense heat of the electricity that had rocketed through your body. The stench of burnt clothes, hair, skin, and the early stages of rot permeated the still air, and you quickly tugged your respirator on in disgust. 
“Eugh, thank God I ate earlier, because I think I just lost my appetite.” You scrunched your nose, pulled down your goggles over your eyes, and began gathering chemicals from the various pockets and vials on your person. “Step outside, gentlemen, I’ll have this gone in a moment.”
The two RED’s quickly nodded and left, eager to get away from the smell and knowing exactly how dangerous your materials could be.
After a few minutes and a decent amount of hydrogen fluoride and antimony pentafluoride later, you emerged from the workshop’s interior to see Engineer kneeling on the ground, looking at some tire tracks that you hadn’t noticed before.
“Looks like they turned themselves ‘round and went back the way they came. They’re probably takin’ one’a the nearby backroads.”
“Think you can catch up to them?” You asked, praying that you wouldn’t have to return to your new base without your team. You wouldn’t be able to make it by yourself, and you doubted that the rest of the RED team would be as kind and hospitable as their Engineer had been.
The Texan gave you a sharp grin as he pushed himself up, dusting off his overalls.
“Do sheep wear sweaters? Hop in, and ah’ll show ‘ya just how fast ol’ Betsy can be.”
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If you asked Florence if she knew her mercenaries well, you’d probably end up with a bullet in your skull, because you were not supposed to know about her mercenaries. Well, technically, they were Reliable Excavation & Demolition and Builders League United’s mercenaries, and, really, the Administrator’s above even them, but she was the one who scouted them out, checked in on them, interacted with them, gave them their assignments, and helped cover up their fuck ups. 
So, yeah, they were her mercenaries. And you weren’t supposed to know about them, so now you’re lying in a shallow grave after getting very well acquainted with her hacksaw.
But if she pondered your question after the fact, then she’d say that, yeah, she did. She’d spent almost all of her very limited free time around them for the last few years, after all, and she kept an eye on them through the various hidden cameras almost as much as her boss did. She knew both teams equally well, easily picking out each of their many similarities, as well as all their little quirks and differences. For example, she knew that the RED Scout had far more freckles than the BLU one. She knew that the BLU Soldier was actually slightly more tame than his counterpart, and that he wore earplugs more often than not, though he is dedicated to never ever letting anyone find out. She knew that both Pyro’s were afraid of the dark, and she knew the exact brand of cigarettes the Spies liked to order.
She knew that both teams were full of loud, borderline rabid, bat-shit insane lunatics that enjoyed the thrill of killing almost as much as she did, maybe even more. She knew, from experience, just how difficult it was to get most of them to quiet down.
Which is what made the situation she was in so damn eerie.
She was back in Spy’s car, having taken the now available passenger seat. Her eyes kept flicking to the neatly folded blanket in Spy’s lap, its minky blue fabric still damp from the rain. The car was silent, save for the occasional muffled wheeze from Pyro, who had just about cried themself hoarse. Medic was sitting next to the arsonist, hands folded as he stared out the window. To a regular onlooker, he likely would have appeared chillingly nonchalant or uncaring. However, as has been established, Florence Pauling personally knew the men she hired to kill each other, and so she was able to see the little cracks in the man’s facade; the way his lips twitched occasionally, like they almost started to wobble before he caught himself, the slow, controlled breaths he was taking, the way his eyes were wet behind his glasses.
Spy was much the same; a perfect picture of poise and aloofness, unless you knew where to look. His suit had been left lightly rumpled, his expensive leather gloves creaked when his hands shifted, showing just how hard he was gripping the wheel, and his mouth was set in an unnaturally tense line. Occasionally, one of his hands would release their death grip on the steering wheel and slip down to feel the blanket in his lap, gently rolling the fabric between his thumb and forefinger.
None of them spoke. 
What was there to say? What could any of them possibly say to make this situation better? 
What could she say? ‘Sorry for your loss, let me fax you those application forms Medic shredded?’ ‘I know you’re mourning, but we need to hurry up and get back so you can all go back to killing the RED team, which still has their Chemist?’ 
No, silence was the better option here by far.
The purple-clad woman leaned back in her seat, head resting against the window as she committed to memory the sound of a tired yet happy voice saying her name, and the feeling of gloved hands pushing her back towards safety. It was better to think of that, rather than the sight of the BLU Chemist’s body spasming wildly before collapsing to the ground, their smoking body giving a few last jerking, dying nerve reactions. 
As she stared out into the vast, dusty nothingness of the New Mexico landscape, something odd began to appear in the corner of her vision. At first, she thought it was a mirage, a strange flash of red in an otherwise sky blue and sand yellow landscape. 
But then it didn’t go away. 
In fact, it actually began to get bigger, becoming clearer and more defined as whatever it was drew closer. On instinct, she reached for the radio and tuned it to a specific frequency, drawing confused looks from her fellow passengers.
“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but something’s coming at us. Fast.” she said, leaning in close to the speaker.
“What zhe hell?” Spy said from her left, taking his eyes off the road to squint towards the horizon.
Pyro and Medic peered outside as well, squeezing in close so they could both get a look at the strange thing that was approaching.
“Sniper, can you get eyes on that thing?” Engineer asked over the radio.
Yeah mate. Just gimme a sec.” came the marksman’s reply.
Turning around in her seat, the raven could see Sniper’s van through the rear window. The man was in the passenger seat now, holding up his rifle and peering through the scope. After a moment, he jerked back, a look of shock on his face. He ducked his head back down to look again, as though he wasn’t sure he’d seen something right. In the driver’s seat, Heavy, who had taken the wheel, gave his teammate a confused and slightly concerned look.
Sniper lowered his rifle after another few moments passed, sliding back into his seat as he shouted something to Heavy, who’s confusion visibly deepened. The Russian did a double take when the marksman said something else, and he quickly said something back to the Australian, who shook his head and pointed out towards the still encroaching… whatever it was.
“Sniper wants team to slow down.” Heavy relayed, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t onboard with the idea. “Says that he… believes he saw leetle Chemist.”
“Oh joy,” Spy snarled, baring his teeth in clear disdain as he spoke into the radio, “our Sniper has finally lost it. I knew too much time spent in zhat deathtrap of his would eventually get to him.”
“Ah hate ‘t say it, but ah agree with Spy. We all- we all saw what happened to ‘em. Even if they survived comin’ back again, they'd have died of exposure, thirst, or starvation by now.” Engineer added glumly, “‘Sides, how in the Sam Hill would they get all the way out here? Snipes, ah think you should maybe go lie down for a bit while we deal with whatever's chasin’ us.”
“What is that?” Pauling asked in a low whisper, rolling down her window to get a better view.
Tuning out the sound of fully grown men bickering behind her, she focused on the anomaly. It was a bright, almost familiar shade of red, and it was kicking up quite a bit of dust as it moved across the desert. Pushing herself slightly out of the window, she picked up on the faint sound of… an engine?
Wait a damn minute.
Wait a Goddamn fucking minute.
Faster than a striking rattlesnake on cocaine, Pauling whipped her phone out and began dialing, holding it up to her ear. After a few rings, a man answered in a thick, smug-sounding Southern drawl.
“Why hello Miss Pauling! To what do ah owe the pleasure?”
“Engie, you fucking asshole!” Florence screeched, getting a confused, offended yell from the BLU Engineer, who could still hear what was being said over their shared transmission, “Did you seriously find the BLU Chemist and not tell me?! Do you know how mad the Administrator was going to be at me?!”
She could hear the RED Spy's telltale snorting cackles in the background of the call, while his BLU counterpart looked the farthest thing from amused.
“Qu'est-ce que c'est? Il vaut mieux que ce ne soit pas une mauvaise blague, sinon je jure devant Dieu que je tâcherai de rouge le sable autour de moi.” he growled as he began to slow down, shooting a deadly glare at what was now obviously a RED vehicle, likely their Engineer's truck.
“Woah now lil’ missy, we didn't mean any harm by it. You were outta range back at the base, and ah just figured it'd be easier to just deliver ‘em right to ‘ya.” The RED chuckled, “Iffen y'all are lookin’ t’ shoot us as soon as we come near, though, then we can always keep ‘em. They make pretty good company, and ‘ah know Spy likes ‘em well enough to help vouch for ‘em to the rest of the team.”
“Shoot you, what are you-” the young woman turned around, spotting several members of BLU pointing their weapons at the approaching REDs, “Scout, Soldier, Sniper! Put your guns away- Engie DROP IT!” 
The other Texan had been gearing up to toss down a mini sentry, but paused at his boss’s shout. Disgruntled, he acquiesced, dropping the beeping little robot back down onto the seat.
“Now that's a might bit better. Chem, you wanna take over communications?” The RED Engineer said, before sounds of rustling fabric and a quiet ‘Thank you!’ came over the line.
“Hey, P.” Pauling could almost hear the smile in the other's voice, something that was rather impressive, given the explosion of noise that came over the radio at the sound, “Guess who's two for two on kicking Death's ass?”
“Hello, Chemist.” She replied softly, smiling back, “Are you alright?”
“Oh yeah, I'm fine!” The mercenary replied quickly, sounding tired, but cheerful, “These two have been great company. Well, Engie has, at least- Spy I'm kidding- and guess what? I finally got my cheeseburger!”
“Zhose are not vhat you should be eating!” Medic chastised from the back, “Zhey are nothing but empty calories! 
“Shut up! I was hungry, and Sniper didn’t let me have mine!”
“Chem,” Pauling interrupted, not wanting to be caught in the middle of another argument, “I’m happy you’re alive, really, I am, but how did you get here?”
“Oh, I Respawned at the new base. I guess the system kicked on because the other team was already there.” the Chemist explained, “I tried calling you, but it didn’t go through, so Engie offered to take me so I didn’t, you know, curl up and die.”
“I… wow, that was really nice of him.”
“Yeah, it was. I seriously owe him for this. I’ll have to buy him a nice dinner some time, or, uh,” they snickered, clearly trying to muffle their laughter, “do something for him.”
Florence got the feeling that she was missing something here.
Judging by the intense glares and scowls Medic, Spy, and likely Pyro were directing towards the truck, which was now close enough for her to pick out details, she knew she wasn’t the only one who picked up on the Chemist’s friendly tone.
“Whatever it is you two end up doing, just remember that, if you want me to not have to rat you out, the Administrator cannot know about it, which means I can’t know about it.” the purple-clad woman stressed.
“I would certainly like to know what zhat cow-boy analphabète believes our Chemist shall be doing for him.” Spy muttered lowly, finally bringing the car to a stop as the RED Engineer’s truck parked on the dusty scrubland a few feet away from them.
“No fighting guys. We don’t need anyone else having to risk not coming back.” Florence warned.
Like a pack of stalking wolves, the nine BLU mercenaries leapt out of their respective vehicles and formed an almost defensive group, most of them having only heard bits and pieces of the phone call, but understanding that they were not here to fight. They walked with an air of tenseness, hands flexing as they resisted the urge to reach for their weapons, clearly feeling uneasy in this unprecedented situation.
Still, there was a clear feeling of nervous excitement. The emotional whiplash of the past few hours had left their emotions raw and more sensitive than usual. All of them stopped when the passenger door of the dusty red truck opened with a soft ‘click!’, the wearily smiling face of their teammate popping up over the metal as they shuffled carefully towards the road.
“CHEM!” Scout yelled, unable to hold himself back anymore. A fond smile made its way onto Pauling’s face as she watched the young Bostonian dash over and scoop the other mercenary up, spinning them around for a moment before gently setting them back down on their feet.
Like deadly, man-slaughtering ducklings, the rest of BLU followed after, warmly welcoming their missing friend back into the fold. Medic was on the Chemist in an instant, examining them while asking more questions than was probably necessary. Soldier gave them what was likely meant to be a gentle pat on the back, but which ended up nearly sending poor Y/N to the ground. 
Meanwhile, Pauling, Spy, and Engineer moved to greet the RED team members, who were stepping out of the vehicle themselves. The two men at Pauling’s side kept their professional appearances well, but she knew they’d like nothing more than to give into their instincts and go for their counterparts’ throats.
“Hey guys,” Florence started, hoping to make this conversation as smooth and bloodshed-free as possible, “thank you so much for bringing the Chemist back. I’ll arrange for your team to get a bonus or something for this, I promise.”
“Aw shucks,” the RED Engineer replied, tipping his hat, “it weren’t no trouble. Ahm sure y’all woulda done the same if y’ were in our shoes.”
“But of course.” the BLU Spy responded, “We’re mercenaries, not monsters.”
“What you are is lucky. Your Chemist should have never survived zhe first time, let alone a second.” the opposite colour Frenchman said, producing a cigarette to light, “Tell me, has your team figured out why Respawn went down?”
The BLU Engineer frowned. “Can’t say we have. I reckon y’all haven’t either, then?”
“Unfortunately not. It's got our team all twisted up with worry, ‘specially our Chemist. The stress has been makin’ her feel just plum awful these past few days.” the crimson-clad Texan sighed, pushing up his goggles to pinch the area between his eyes, “To be honest wit ‘ya, ah’d somewhat hoped that travelin’ with yer one might’a given me some answers, or at least an idea of what went wrong, but ah couldn’t find one single tell. If yer feelin’ amicable enough, ah’d like to work with ya t’ find the problem, so we can all stop bein’ so damn nervous.”
“Hmm.” the BLU Engineer hummed, resting a hand on his chin before glancing over at his boss, “Would that be alright, Miss Pauling?”
Florence adjusted her glasses and nodded. “Usually it wouldn’t, but under these circumstances, I’m sure the Administrator will understand.”
Suddenly, she jumped, remembering something.
“Oh, shit! Guys, we actually need to get going! I need to give the RED Chemist a contract and, like, a thousand other things that have been piling up since I’ve been gone.” She said apologetically, before turning to the RED team members, “Do you two mind if I ride back with you?”
“‘Course not.”
“It’s always a pleasure to have you around, mademoiselle.”
“Okay, great!” the raven said, smoothing down her skirt. She looked over at her companions, tilting her head slightly, “You’ll be fine getting back, right?”
They nodded, and started walking back over to rejoin their teammates. They explained that their employer wouldn’t be coming back with them, and, to her surprise, Chemist pulled away from the rest of the BLUs, walking as fast as they could over to her.
“Hey, I just wanted to ask if you were alright before you left.” The goggle-wearing chemist said, their worry clear in their voice as they laid a hand on her shoulder, “You were pretty close to that powerline too, and I wasn’t sure if you’d gotten injured or not.”
“I’m fine, Chem.” Florence reassured, giving her friend a smile, “My clothes are going to smell like burned cloth and skin for a bit, but that’s it. You got me out of the way in time. Thank you, for that, by the way.”
The Chemist inclined their head, smiling back before turning their attention to the two RED Mercs. “You two get her back safe, understand? I’d hate to have to kill you permanently after all this.” they joked, pointing a ‘stern’ finger at them.
The RED Engineer raised his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t worry, Darl’, she’ll get there right as rain.”
He stepped forward, took the white cowboy hat off his head, and plopped it down onto the Chemist’s, tugging it down gently to secure it.
A few feet away, the other Engineer’s mechanical hand nearly crushed his gun as he shot daggers at his counterpart. 
“Y’ can give me that back when y’all finally show up at the base.” he smirked, “And, iffen yer still up for it, ah think I’ll take ‘ya up on that offer of yours from earlier.”
The Chemist turned a very interesting shade of pink as they tipped the brim of the hat up slightly, revealing that their pupils were blown wide.
“Mnhm, sounds good.” they replied softly, before spinning on their heels and making a beeline for their teammates. 
“I-” Florence started, before cutting herself off, 
“You know what? It’s better if I don’t know what that’s all about.”
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You watched as the RED Engineer, Spy, and Miss Pauling drove off, waving to them as best you could.
“Well, ain’t you ‘n them real close.” Engineer said in a tight voice. While it was quite hard to tell where the man was looking most of the time, you got the distinct feeling that he was staring at your new accessory.
“I had to listen to them argue for, like, half the trip.” You replied, “If you come out of that having not murdered them or killed yourself, then it's because you learned to like them.”
“Kinda sounded like you didn’t just like ‘em.” Scout pouted, crossing his arms, “What the hell did youse three get up to?”
“Well let’s see.” You raised your hand, ticking off your fingers as you recounted your joyous road trip shenanigans, “I got the ever loving shit scared out of me by the RED Spy, melted my own corpse, got a cheeseburger so absolutely scrumptious I offered to suck off the RED Engineer,”
“You did what now?!” your Engineer yelped.
“I listened to two fully grown men bicker like toddlers, got regaled with a tale of bread monsters, got my outfit called every French insult under the sun, and passed out from, like, severe malnutrition, probably.” You finished.
“Uh, can we walk that back a couple’a steps, mate?” Sniper asked, flushing pink.
“What, you mean the bread monster? Yeah, no, I didn’t believe it at first either, but Spy swears-”
“Not the bloody bread monster, ya daft tit!” Demo groaned, slapping a hand onto his face, “Why the bleedin’ hell are ya offerin’ t’ give our enemy a gobble?!
“Dear GOD, have they brainwashed you?!” Soldier gasped suddenly, “I swear, I will hunt down each and every one of those communist RED bastards if they so much as touched-”
“Woah, woah, woah!” You rushed to clear up the misconception, “Easy, Sol! No one did anything to me, I promise. I’m still one hundred percent me.”
“Zhen vhy…?” Medic questioned, coughing into his gloves as he trailed off.
“It started as just a joke, honestly. I wasn’t seriously thinking about acting on it at first, but when their Spy accidentally revealed that he was jealous, I started thinking about it a little bit more.” You shrugged, “Plus, well… he’s hot! And he’s nice! And he’s clearly into the idea, so… why not?”
“Why not? Why not?” Spy growled, “Because you are ours! You wear zhe same uniform and kill zhe same men as us! You are a member of BLU, and your standards should be higher zhan zhe first, non, not even zhe first, man who shows even zhe slightest interest in you! Il n’y a aucune raison de se prostituer à ce gros, analphabète Texan!”
You threw your hands up into the air, letting out your own growl of annoyance.
“Look, unless one of you is going to help me take care of my needs when I’m better, I’m walking my ass over to that pretty little base they have!” You stated firmly, crossing your arms and tilting your chin up in a petty, almost defiant way. “Maybe I’ll even proposition the rest of ‘em, I don’t know!”
“Oh my freakin’ GOD!” Scout yelled, “We are literally right here! I don’t know a guy on this team that wouldn’t fuck you if you just asked!”
There was a moment of silence after that sentence, the Bostonian’s words echoing slightly in the empty desert scrubland. The ten of you all stood there, turning red from something that wasn’t the harsh New Mexico sun.
Heavy made a sound first, awkwardly clearing his throat. 
“Scout is- what is word- tactless, but he is also… not wrong.”
“Er, yeah,” Sniper scratched at the back of his neck, “the big guy's got it right. It's just we, uh…”
“Mh muph mmnmnh mhmh.” Pyro finished, talking animatedly with their hands.
“The arsonist is correct.” Spy agreed, still looking a bit flustered under his mask, “This is far from something that is easily brought up.” 
You blinked slowly at your team, absorbing the information. Now, technically, you'd heard this all before, right before you'd died, but hearing it again solidified it in your mind as being real. 
“Well shit.” You swore, planting your hands on your hips, “We all could have been a lot happier ages ago, huh?”
The gathered mercenaries made various sounds of awkward agreement.
“Okay, we definitely need to talk about this, and I mean a real conversation, not all of us standing around like idiots, cooking our brains in the sun while we all blush over the fact that you'd all like a piece of me.” You said, “But I think I'd rather talk in the comfort of our base, wouldn't you all agree?”
Your teammates nodded in agreement, dispersing into their chosen groups as they started back towards your vehicles.
“Yo, Chem, you ridin’ with us?” Scout asked hopefully, hooking his arm beneath yours instinctively as you wobbled slightly. He looked as though he was still feeling a bit hot under the collar, but was doing his very best to keep your conversation casual. 
“Sorry, Scout, but I think I’m gonna pass out soon if I don’t lay down.” you admitted. “I promise I’ll spend some time with you when we get back. Maybe I could help you pack when I’m feeling a bit better?”
“Don’t even worry ‘bout it. You should focus on gettin’ bettah first.” Scout replied, leading you towards Sniper’s campervan, “‘Sides, I already packed up most of my crap, and I think Pyro handled your stuff, so you can just take it easy. Pretty sure the Doc is gonna make you stay in the Medbay, anyway.”
“Scout is correct, mein Chemiker.” Medic piped up, matching your slow, careful stride as he came up beside you, “Now don’t give me zhat face; it vill only be for a few days. I just want to ensure that jou are okay after going through Respawn again in jour state.”
Your expression, which had been one of pouty, light annoyance at being forced into mandatory bedrest in the Medbay, softened a bit. You could hear the genuine concern in the German’s voice, and you knew he had good reason to be. You yourself were worried that something might have gotten messed up, and you knew you were due for another round of supplement shots.
Still, it was going to suck to not be in your own room, surrounded by your familiar comforts. You knew that you’d have a lot of pent up energy by the time you got out.
Huh, actually… you could think of a few fun ways to burn off any excess energy.
“Okay, Doc, I’ll come to my appointment, I promise.” you said, smiling, “But this time, I get to choose the operating room music. You’re not cutting me open to Lili Marlén again.”
“But jou said zhat jou enjoyed it last time! Lale Andersen has zhe voice of ein Engel.” Medic pouted.
“Yeah, but if you keep playing it while you're dissecting my spleen, I’m always going to associate it with getting picked apart like a biology student’s frog.” you explained, “I won’t pick anything too bad, swear on my good beakers!”
“Hmph, I vill hold you to zhat.” the doctor warned teasingly, “Zhere vill be no more ‘Sugar Pie Honey Bunch’ in my operating room.”
“Ugh, you’re so boring.” you teased right back, sticking your tongue out at the man as Scout handed you off to Sniper, who had a fond, lopsided smile on his face. “Hey there, Stretch. Mind helping me to the bed?”
“Not at all, mate.” Sniper replied, laying a warm, sturdy arm across your shoulders, “Not at all.”
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Sure enough, after around two weeks of being kept in the Medbay upon your return, your prediction of being just about ready to explode with unreleased energy had proven to be true. Your organs had actually suffered a bit of damage this time around, which had necessitated a longer stay. On top of that, you had needed to move to the new base midway through your treatment, which hadn’t helped things. However, this also meant that Medic could focus on accelerating your healing, and by the time you pranced out of those swinging double doors, you were feeling like your old self again.
Scout and Soldier were waiting there for you, just as they had been on the day you’d failed to come back.
“Heyyyyy, there you are! Freakin’ finally.” Scout whooped, bringing you into a tight hug. You returned it, squeezing back with all your regained strength, “Oof! Yup, you’re bettah alright!”
“Sure am.” you grinned, before releasing the Bostonian to tackle Soldier, who grinned and crushed you to his chest.
“It’s good to have you back in fighting shape, private! Your presence has been missed on the battlefield.” he said, patting you in between your shoulder blades, “Also, I just missed you.”
“I missed you too, Solly.” you replied, knocking your forehead against his helmet gently, “Show me around the base? I saw a bit of it when I Respawned here, but I wasn’t exactly taking in all the finer details.”
“Of course!” Soldier set you down, taking the lead as you, him, and Scout headed off down the hall.
He gave you a tour of the base and the battleground, loudly and excitedly chattering about all the great places to set up ambushes and assaults that this new location provided. You nodded along, adding your own ideas occasionally as you took in your surroundings, inhaling a lungful of warm, apple-scented air for the first time without pain. In a few days, the RED Chemist would be returning from her contract, and you would be returning to the fray, but for now you got to revel in the relative peace of the time between battles.
Eventually, Soldier led you to the barracks, showing you to your room. It had been partially set up; your bed was made and your uniforms had been hung up in your closet, but your casual clothes and personal belongings had been left in their moving boxes. You smiled softly when you flipped open the first box and spotted Pyro’s drawings sitting on top. The firebug had added a few new ones, depicting a healthy you and them frolicking through a shimmering candyland, or petting beautiful unicorns. You snorted with laughter at one of the last ones, which showed you and Pyro sitting aside a golden, fire-breathing dragon, flying high above the base, the arsonist flipping off the RED Spy and Engineer, who were being roasted by the beast.
Speaking of…
“Hey, has anyone seen my hat?” you asked Soldier and Scout, who were peering into one of your, currently empty, terrariums. The two mercenaries glanced at each other.
“Uh, I think Engie took it.” Scout rubbed his chin, “Kept mutterin’ something about the ‘cowboy hat rule.’ He sounded real pissed about it too.”
You tilted your head and frowned. “Cowboy hat rule? What the hell is that?”
“Dunno.” Scout shrugged, “You’d have to ask Hardhat.”
“Maybe I will.” you said, putting the drawings down, “Where is he?”
“The grease monkey is in his workshop!” Soldier said helpfully, “I saw him go in there before I went to wait for you.”
“Perfect,” you smiled, “I’ll be back soon, fellas. Oh, actually, could you two do me a favour?”
The men nodded.
“Tell the others I’d finally like to have that conversation we talked about.” you winked, stepping out the door, “We’ll talk at dinner, yeah?”
Slipping out into the hallway proper, you left two very warm-cheeked mercenaries behind.
“What are the chances we actually score tonight, you think?” Scout asked, biting his lip slightly.
“If Engie doesn’t make ‘em mad?” Soldier grinned, tipping up his helmet slightly, “I’d say I like our odds.”
“God, he bettah not screw dis up.” Scout huffed, folding his arms, “I hope he’s smart enough to just give Chem that hat.”
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“Ah ain’t givin’ you that hat.”
The Texan and the Chemist stood almost chest-to-chest, locked in a standoff. Engineer folded his arms and fixed his colleague with the firmest look he could muster, standing absolutely resolute in his decision.
Chemist set their jaw, squinting in annoyance.
“Engie,” they started, voice firm and tone indicating that they were done with this argument, “that hat was a temporary gift. I need to give it back. I don’t know why you’re being such an ass over this, but-”
“Because it ain’t a gift!” the man finally shouted, gritting his teeth.
Chemist reeled back as if they’d been struck, shocked at the man’s outburst. They blinked, then slowly shifted to a more passive stance.
“Okay, clearly I’m missing something here, and it’s making you upset.” they said, backing up a step to give Engineer some much needed space, “Mind filling me in? Does it have something to do with that ‘cowboy hat rule’ Scout mentioned?”
“It has everything to do with that.” Engineer sighed, deflating slightly as his anger returned to a very low simmer, “A cowboy’s hat is considered an extension of his body, a real special article of clothin’. If he puts it on someone’s head, or if someone takes it and puts it on, then that’s basically the same as sayin’ yer real interested in ‘em. The ‘rule’ is basically that if you wear the hat, y’gotta ride the cowboy.”
He folded his arms again, looking into Chemist’s wide eyes. “Him puttin’ that hat on ‘ya like he did and bein’ all flirtatious was almost like him brandin’ you; a real bold move to pull right in front of all of us. You bein’ so friendly ‘n receptive ‘bout it all was just salt in the wound, and now he’s been down right gloatin’ about it ever since we got here!”
Chemist winced, rubbing at the back of their neck. “Aw, jeeze, I’m- I’m sorry, Engie. I didn’t realize how much that might bother you. This has really been eating at you, huh?”
“It has.” he confessed, feeling slightly ashamed by just how much it bothered him, “Ah know yer a grown adult, and ah obviously can’t control what ‘ya do in yer free time, but as ahm sure you’ve figured out, we’re all rather fond of ‘ya, and I ain’t no exception. Seein’ you with him? And then having to work with ‘im these past few days?”
The man shook himself, scowling. “It’s like swallowin’ glass.”
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up outside of battle.” the other mercenary said, before reaching out and taking Engineer’s hands into their own, causing the Texan to jolt slightly in surprise, “Look, I might joke around sometimes, but I am one hundred percent loyal to BLU and everyone who’s a part of it. That other Engineer might get me once, but you can have me as many times as you like.” 
Chemist winked, and Engineer’s eyes widened like saucers, his mouth turning dry as cotton as any words he might have intended to say died in his throat. The other BLU leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, and Engineer closed his eyes, burning the sensation into his mind as he swallowed.
“And if you’re still worried,” they whispered into his ear, “you can always leave your mark on me.”
“Careful, Darl’,” he growled lowly, wrapping a hand around their waist, enjoying the feeling of muscle and fat, “you don’t know what yer askin’ for.”
“Oh, I think I do.” they grinned ferally, nipping at the Southerner’s neck. Engineer inhaled sharply and let out a curse, tightening his hold when he felt a warm tongue lave the area lovingly.
Suddenly, the contact was gone, Chemist pulling away with a satisfied grin and leaving the poor Texan stunned.
“You can hang onto the hat for now, but I really do need it back.” they tapped his nose, causing him to blink, “Now, we’re all gonna have that little chat at dinner tonight, so don’t be late.”
And with that, they sauntered right back out the door they'd come through earlier, leaving Engie to try and collect himself. Eventually, he managed to shake himself out of his stupor, a grin coming across his face.
“Well, this ought to be mighty interestin’.”
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The conversation at dinner had been, to absolutely no one’s shock, awkward as all hell to begin with.
Once everyone had gotten a plate of food in front of them to stare at when things got too uncomfortable, you started laying out basic ground rules. You stressed, through your many stutters, the importance of boundaries, consent and communication, and you made it very clear that if anyone was at all uncomfortable with what you were proposing, then they were more than welcome to voice that without judgement. You were firm as you warned that if you caught wind of anyone teasing or pressuring another teammate about this was going to lose any and all privileges, as well as getting a face full of acid at any given time. 
“Any objections or questions so far?” you asked, taking a bite of your dinner, which was macaroni and cheese.
“If ve’re really going to to zhis, I vould like to propose regular STD tests und use of condoms.” Medic said after a few moments of silence passed in the room, folding his hands in front of him, “Zhis isn’t exactly a closed relationship ve’re talking about here, und I for one vould feel a lot better vith zhat reassurance, zhough I know jou’re all clean as of right now.”
Everyone made noises of agreement. No one wanted to take that risk.
“Do we have to do stuff with everyone? ‘Cause, uh, I definitely ain’t cool with that.” Scout asked, rubbing his arm in discomfort.
“No, of course not.” you reassured, laying a comforting hand over his. “You’re free to be with whoever you want, and you certainly aren’t going to be forced into a relationship.”
Scout relaxed, some of the tension leaving his body. Around the table, a few others seemed to relax as well.
“We will have to keep zhis a well-kept secret. If zhe Administrator finds out, zhen I suspect we will be punished in some cruel and unusual manner.” Spy added, resting his chin on one hand.
“Yeah, she’s real good at that.” Soldier mumbled, still sore over the fact that he’d be tricked and threatened into breaking off the best friendship he’d ever had, one that still hadn’t recovered.
“So no flirting, or anything else, on the battlefield or during work hours.” you nodded, “We’ll save it for contracts, ceasefires, and late night meet ups, I suppose.”
Sniper raised his hand slightly, swallowing his mouthful of food. “And how exactly are we plannin’ on deciding who gets to do what, and when?”
“Scheduling.” you replied, having pondered that very same question, “We’ll come up with a schedule. You guys can draw straws or wrestle or something. I’ll leave how the order gets decided up to you.”
“Battle’s comin’ up in a few days.” Demo said, taking a sip of his Scrumpy, “How’s about we use our performances to decide?”
“Heavy likes that idea,” the large Russian man nodded, “it means I will be first.”
“Hey, woah, back it up, tons ‘a fun!” Scout protested, jabbing his fork in the other’s direction, “You musta hit yer head or somethin, cause everyone knows I’m gonna be the one comin’ out on top, as usual.”
“You? Do something aside from running your mouth and getting shot full of bullets? Please, don’t make me laugh.” Spy snarked, picking at his dinner while side-eying the Bostonian.
“Don’t get too cocky, Spook. God knows yer gonna end up on the hot end of the enemy Pyro’s flamethrower more often than not.” Sniper teased, “Meanwhile, I’ll be rackin’ up kills left ‘n right.”
“Hey Py, ah’ll share mah time if y’ team up with me.” Engineer offered, smirking when the arsonist mumbled in cheerful agreement, giving the Southerner a fistbump.
“Ooh, ve’re making alliances?” Medic perked up, “Heavy, team up with me, ja?”
“конечно, доктор.” 
“Oye, that ain’t fair!” Demo shouted, banging his fist down on the table, “Soldier, yer with me!”
“Affirmative!” the American saluted, “We are going to crush each and every one of your pansy asses!”
“This is bullshit!” Scout yipped, realizing that his teammates were absolutely willing to partner up if it meant having a better shot at first pick, “Yo, Snipes, we teamin’ up?”
“Bettah you then Spy.” the marksman leaned over the table and shook hands with the runner. “Alright, jackrabbit, let’s do this.”
“Feelin’ left out, Spy?” Engineer asked, reaching for his cup of sweet tea.
“Not at all.” came the Frenchman’s smooth reply, “I am confident enough in my abilities to not feel zhe need to rely on zhe help of another to win. Unlike you, toymaker, I am not willing to share my lovers.”
“Keep a good hold on that confidence ‘a yers.” the Texan chuckled, “You’ll need somethin’ t’ help repair yer shattered pride once you come dead last.”
You took another bite of your macaroni, enjoying the growing sense of… friendly competition. The next battle was going to be a bloodbath, and you absolutely could not wait to see it.
And, of course, you were very excited to see who came out as the victor.
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The sound of gunfire and dying men was like music to your ears as you finally returned to the battlefield. Your limbs ached from the lack of use, and you could certainly feel the strain now, but you welcomed the pain, grinning into your mask as you lobbed another vial at a passing Scout, your smile widening as you snickered at his howls of pain.
Your team was dominating the battlefield today, each member striving to get the most amount of kills. The energy of the battle was even a little bit lighter than usual today, likely due to the fact that the mystery of the Respawn malfunction had finally been solved on the Sunday before the battle.
Apparently, according to Engineer, the issue had been caused by too many units being active at once, which all but confirmed your theory of other teams existing out in the world. It had nothing to do with you specifically, you’d simply been the unlucky bastard who had come through at the boiling point. The information had come as a huge relief, even if the answer had left you with quite a few questions. You would have to ask Miss Pauling about it the next time she came around the base, though you doubted you’d get any real answers. Something told you that, if the other teams had never been mentioned to any of you before, then you weren’t supposed to know about them.
Actually, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut this time. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction wouldn’t be enough to bring you back, if the Administrator decided to disable your Respawn capability.
Shaking your head, you dashed forward, side-stepping the sizzling corpse at your feet. Running across the dry Texas grass, you threw yourself against the side of the nearest building, a smaller, ramshackle barn at the edge of the treeline. From where you stood, you managed to catch a glimpse of Pyro, Soldier, and Engineer taking a new vantage point to set up a sentry, before the arsonist suddenly spun around, blasting a plume of flame at your helmeted friend. You winced, watching as the RED Spy’s illusion melted away, along with his skin.
Well, you supposed you wouldn’t be seeing too much of him today. That was a shame; the Frenchman could be surprisingly funny, when he wanted to be. You’d hoped to get a chance to tease him and see if you could make him blush again, or perhaps some part of you wanted to provide your own Spy with an easy kill.
Just as you started off towards your teammates, ready to help them secure the nearest point, you saw something whip over your head. Before you knew it, your arms were suddenly pinned at your sides, and you’d been tugged backwards, landing on your rump with a sharp yelp of pain. The white cowboy hat that you’d managed to get back from Engineer, which had been sitting snugly on your head, slipped down over your eyes as you were dragged back towards the trees, leaving you blind.
You panicked for a moment, struggling against the tight rope. However, you paused upon hearing a familiar voice, chills running up your spine, both from fear and from pleasure. A gloved hand plucked the hat off your head, the mechanical movement clicking softly in your ear. You tilted your head back, looking up at the man who was holding the lasso that had left you so defenseless.
“Hello there, Darl’.” The RED Engineer purred, leaning against the trunk of one of the apple trees, “Ready to make good on that offer?”
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Annnnd that wraps up Respawn Malfunction! Again, big thanks to @pinkypiechar for reading along with me in the wee hours of the morning, keeping me motivated and catching any mistakes I made. You a real one pookie. <3
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mostly-marvel-musings · 2 months ago
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Young!Tony getting home all happy to see his mom and his girl, then Jarvis is like "uhhhh maybe not? why don't we go outside, Master Stark, have a drink, play some cards, C'MON! 😁" and Tony's like VERY SUSPICIOUS. But then, when Jarvis goes inside to grab them some snacks, Tony SNEAKS INSIDE THE HOUSE! And there are his mom and his girl discussing their love and sex lives over drinks, both very tipsy and oversharing. And now Tony's MORTIFIED, he runs outside screaming, poor boi is TRAUMATIZED. And poor old Jarvis is just like "well, I did tell to stay outside. You brought that upon yourself"
“You Weren’t Supposed to Hear That, Tony”
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A/N: This was sitting in my inbox for far too long!!
Pairing: young! Tony Stark x F! Reader
Warning: 18+ fluff.
Tony Stark Masterlist
It was the kind of day that felt like the whole world conspired to be perfect just for him. Young Tony Stark—bright-eyed, sharp-smiled, fresh off presenting his first solo prototype at a symposium in Geneva—was glowing. The applause was still echoing in his ears, the champagne buzz hadn’t worn off, and he only wanted one thing now:
Home.
More specifically, home where his two favorite women were: his mother, Maria Stark, and you—the brilliant, witty, way-too-good-for-him girl he’d been dating for a few very fast, very intense months. Maria was, alarmingly, already in love with you. It was a little terrifying.
He pulled into the long driveway of the Stark estate, sunglasses pushed up into his tousled hair, energy bouncing off him like static. The house was unusually quiet as he entered through the side door, humming a Bowie song under his breath.
That was when he saw Jarvis—the original, human one, looking slightly nervous and oddly… obstructive.
“Master Tony,” Jarvis greeted, far too formally. “How was Geneva? You must be exhausted.”
“I am exhausted. And starving. And extremely ready for praise and affection from two of the greatest women to ever walk the earth. Where are they?”
Jarvis cleared his throat. “Ah! Yes. About that. I was thinking we might enjoy the last of the sunshine on the patio? I could deal you in for a quick hand of cards, perhaps a drink—”
Tony narrowed his eyes. “…You’re deflecting.”
“Deflecting?” Jarvis let out a high-pitched chuckle. “Certainly not.”
“You only offer me cards when something’s on fire or someone’s having a breakdown.”
“Well, technically—”
Tony didn’t wait. Suspicion lit his face and before Jarvis could stop him, he darted for the living room entrance like a bloodhound on a mission. Jarvis sighed and muttered a low, “Oh dear,” before shuffling off to retrieve snacks he had no intention of serving anymore.
Meanwhile…
Tony crept up the hallway. Voices. Laughter. Clinking glasses.
He peeked around the doorframe.
There you were. Sitting on the couch, wine glass in hand, cheeks flushed from alcohol and affection, next to Maria Stark who was exactly one and a half drinks past graceful sophistication. Your legs were tucked up, hers stretched out, both of you looking far too relaxed for the earth-shattering words spilling from your mouths.
“He glows after, Maria,” you were saying with a dreamy sigh. “Like. Genuinely radiant. I’m like—is that genius or just post-orgasm science juice?”
Maria cackled. “Oh sweetheart, if he gets that from his father, then good luck. I had to buy blackout curtains. Man was a menace.”
Tony’s soul near about left his body.
“I can’t believe I ever thought Howard was boring,” Maria went on, sipping deeply. “He was—well. Let’s just say, we once broke the kitchen table.”
Tony let out a sound like a strangled banshee.
You gasped. “Tony eats breakfast there!!”
“Not for a week after that, he didn’t.”
Tony STUMBLED BACKWARDS, bumped into the wall, hit a decorative vase (which he somehow caught mid-fall because Stark reflexes), and fled the scene like it was on fire.
He burst back out onto the patio, looking like he’d seen Satan flossing in a tutu.
Jarvis, standing there with a bowl of olives and crackers, glanced up mildly. “Oh. I see you went inside.”
Tony collapsed into the nearest lounge chair. “They were talking about sex, JARVIS. Mine. Theirs. THE KITCHEN TABLE.”
“Well, I did suggest we remain outdoors.”
“I’M NEVER EATING ANYTHING OFF A FLAT SURFACE AGAIN.”
Jarvis calmly placed a drink in his hand.
“It’s gin. Neat. I anticipated a stronger trauma.”
Tony downed it in one go, shuddered, and pointed a trembling finger. “You—you knew. You knew and you let me walk into that Buzzfeed Top 10 list of my personal hells.”
Jarvis merely smiled. “Welcome home, Master Stark.”
.
Inside, after Tony’s not-so-stealthy retreat, you and Maria exchanged looks.
You squinted toward the hallway. “Did you… hear something?”
Maria grinned into her glass. “Sounded like a strangled dolphin. That would be my son.”
Your eyes widened. “No.”
“Oh yes.” She sipped again, wicked glint in her eyes. “Think he caught the bit about the table.”
You groaned, hiding your face in a cushion. “He’s never going to look me in the eye again.”
Maria patted your shoulder sweetly. “Better get used to it, sweetheart. You’re one of us now.”
Meanwhile, outside, Tony sat slack-jawed and muttering to himself.
“Blackout curtains… the kitchen table… I need therapy. I need bleach. I need to move.”
Jarvis slid another drink toward him with a knowing sigh.
“You need to learn to listen when someone says don’t go in there.”
.
Tony sat between you and Maria, fork poised like a weapon, suspicion already simmering.
“So…” Maria began, slicing into her roast with too much glee. “Remember that trip we were planning, sweetheart? I was thinking Tuscany.”
You sipped your wine innocently. “Mmm, yes. Good food. Great views. Tables strong enough to hold—”
Clink. Tony dropped his fork. “Okay. Okay.” He pointed between the two of you. “This is a trap. This entire dinner is a psychological warfare operation.”
Maria turned to you, all sweetness. “Should we tell him about the vintage wine?”
You nodded sagely. “Ah yes. The one that unlocked so many secrets.”
Tony stood up with a chair-scraping screech. “I’m done. I’m moving to the guesthouse. JARVIS, initiate witness protection protocol.”
“Right away, sir,” Jarvis replied smoothly, barely concealing his amusement.
As Tony stormed off muttering about therapy, trauma, and the betrayal of all maternal figures, you and Maria toasted your wine glasses with a synchronized clink.
“Cheers to poor decisions and even worse timing.”
“Cheers to never letting him live it down.”
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unorthodoxfaithxx · 1 year ago
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Yandere JJK - Yuta Okkotsu
When you leave for a month long mission without telling your close friend and maybe crush, Yuuta. You come back and he’s cracked. 
It’d been two months since you left on a mission, only now being able to return back to Japan. When you arrived home to your shared apartment, you had expected a warm welcome from your kind and courteous friend, Yuuta. You imagined he’d tell you, “Welcome home,” ask how your trip was, and offer to make dinner like he usually did on days he felt adventurous enough to cook. The two of you lived pretty harmoniously together, both being capable sorcerers with similar demeanors and all.
What you didn’t expect was to be shoved against the wall of the flat’s narrow hallway kabedon style, body pressed flush against your roommate’s, who had a look on his face like he hadn’t been sleeping for weeks and just found out the cure to his insomnia was something ridiculously simple, bordering on relief and hysteria. 
“Where. Have you been.” He practically growled, your heart beating at an odd pace since he was barely an inch away from your face.
“Uhnn, on a mission. But great news-I’m back home and won’t be working for a bit, aha?” You broke eye contact, unable to withstand the cold intensity of his dark eyes. 
“And you left without telling me? Without telling anyone?” 
“Well, to be fair it was a secret mission! It wasn’t to be disclosed and even then I knew it’d only make you worry and you’d probably end up trying to tag along somehow. I didn’t want to distract you from your work, Yu.”
Your explanation didn’t do much to help calm his nerves. You could tell he was obviously worked up, he was breathing hard, his arms were shaking, and his newfound grip on your shoulders was soul crushing. You knew your friend was strong, but the fact that you couldn’t move at all from your position was impressive. 
“So you just up and left? That’s not fair,” His languid voice spoke with quiet rage. He was never one to raise his voice, not even now. “You don’t get to decide that. What if you had died? What if something happened and nobody from home knew anything about it? Would you be okay with leaving everyone behind? Leaving me?” 
“No…I mean…I wouldn’t want that. I mean hey, I’m here! We’re good now, right? I’m fine! We’re fine.” You said this last part with no confidence, “…Are we?”
Yuuta took a step back, staring at the wall next to you because he couldn’t stand to look at you. “No. We’re not.” 
He let you go, moving to turn back to his room. You grabbed his shoulder. “Hey-wait! I know you’re upset. I would be too. But please, don’t ignore me. I was so lonely on my own, now that I’m back I…well, is it too selfish to say I want you by my side? I missed you a lot.” Your abandonment issues were about to be the death of you.
“You trampled on my feelings, completely disregarding how I’d feel, and now you want pity?”
You deflated. “No. Just. I just want you. I’m sorry for hurting you, Yuta. I didn’t mean it, really.”
A minute of silence passed you both. You felt like you were about to cry. You sniffled. “I really am sorry.” 
He stared at the ground, muttering a soft curse before looking back at you, slowly opening his arms. He sighed. “I can never stay mad at you. I missed you too. C’mere.” 
And you nearly leapt into his arms, hugging him tightly. His scowl broke, turning into an ever so slight smile. 
Coming home wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 
You thought the two of you were cool and were about to offer to order take-out when he threw you over his shoulder, went to his room, and threw you on the bed, locking the door promptly behind him. 
“Uhhhh, Yuuta?” You asked. “Watcha doing?”
He chuckled darkly. “You confessed to me before your mission, right? And then you bolted before I could even respond. Well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about how I should reply in the past months you were gone. And this is my response.”
Your face grew red. How could you have forgotten about that? 
He crawled on the bed after you, leering over you like a tiger would its prey. 
“I love you. More than anything in the world. And when I noticed you left and had no idea when you’d be back, or if you’d come back at all? I thought I’d go crazy. It took everything in me to not kill the elites that ordered you on the mission and drag you back home myself.” He had you caged between his arms again, voice dropping to something thick and heavy at his next words, “I decided that when you came back, if you ever came back, I wouldn’t let you go anymore. I want you by my side forever. And even then forever’s no where near enough.”
“Quite the romantic, are you big guy?”
He smirked at that. “I’ve had enough time to study up on the type of guys you like.” You shivered when you felt his lips glide across your neck, a rough hand slowly sneaking up your stomach, beneath your clothes. 
“You’re mine tonight. And forever.”
Tonight was going to be a loooooooong night. 
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reverie-starlight · 2 months ago
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THE BOY HAS RETURNED!!! how I managed to go 5 months without writing for him I will never know. anyway, here’s some atsumu fluff to heal my soul after finishing my last assignment last week and more recently a rough few days of back-to-back exams.
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. university student!reader, MSBY!atsumu. very fluffy, ultra sappy. y’all know the drill. uhhhh very suggestive towards the end. this is very short bc I'm slowly trying to get back into writing after a creative block. I've missed him SO much, you have no idea :(
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you reach your arms above your head and hiss at the dull pain that follows your much needed stretch. slumping back down into your chair, you sigh and allow yourself a moment to take in the fact that you can actually relax for the next day or two, completely guilt free.
you shut your laptop and make your way over to the bedroom, eager to finally crawl into atsumu’s arms. you feel bad for him- you’ve been so busy with your assignments and finals lately that you’ve hardly been able to spend any quality time with him.
he’s been a good sport about it of course- he knows how important your education is, but you also know extremely well how much of a dramatic little shit he can be sometimes.
sure enough, as soon as he sees your figure in the doorway, he turns to face the wall and leaves you with the very familiar, beloved view of his back.
but you miss him, and you'll be damned if you don't get any congratulatory cuddles from him tonight, even if you have to fight for them.
you grin a little and slide under the covers behind him, tracing a finger along his broad shoulders.
“baby,” you make sure to drag out the last syllable. you press a kiss to the nape of his neck and smile against his skin when he shudders. “you’re really going to ignore me?”
he doesn’t answer just yet, but you can feel his resolve (which clearly isn't the strongest in this moment) breaking with every kiss you press down his spine, along his shoulder blades, the backs of his arms…
until he finally caves and turns to you with that lovesick grin you adore so much. he wraps his arms around your waist and you realize just how much you've been missing him.
"are ya finally done?" his eyes shine with hope and your heart squeezes in your chest.
you nod and he pulls you closer so that you're face-to-face, breaths mingling and lips barely touching. his skin, always so warm and soft, smells of fresh laundry and his breath has hints of the minty toothpaste your dentist recommended. you burrow against his neck and release the last of your worries with one big sigh.
and in typical atsumu fashion, as if he's just received an encoded message, he kisses your temple to let you know he's got you. "I'm proud of ya," he mumbles. "I know this was a tough semester for ya, baby, but you're gonna finish off strong."
you melt against him, let your shoulders relax and allow yourself the mental break that is letting him take care of you. "thank you," you whisper. "I'm just so glad I have a few days to rest now."
the energy of the room shifts with atsumu as he moves to hover your frame. the calluses on his hand from years of athletics are rough against the cheek he cups but comforting all the same. the look in his eyes is familiar and makes you a little dizzy with need.
"since you've got nothin' going on tomorrow..." your eyes stay trained on him as he turns his head to check the clock on your nightstand. "that means ya can afford to stay up a bit longer?"
you nod, not even bothering to check the time for yourself, welcoming him with a small smile when his eyes find their way back home to you. "that's right."
he grins and leans down to finally, finally, finally slot his lips against yours, right where they belong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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leviscolwill · 2 years ago
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lovelorn and nobody knows ★
pairing: jude bellingham x mclaren driver!reader [face claim: amna al qubaisi]
in which: jude wants to be the most supportive boyfriend, even if it means ruining your soft launch
note: for plot reasons, let's pretend mp motorsports is mclaren. hope my f1 reader! enthusiasts like this one 🩷
now playing slut! by taylor swift...
judebellingham
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liked by madders, yn.isracing and 1,369,097 others
judebellingham yeehaw 🤠
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yn.isracing whore. [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
yn.isracing save a horse ride a uhhhh [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
camavinga texas boy with a british accent, i've truly seen it all 💀
yn.isracing
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liked by judebellingham, olliebearman and 476,916 others
yn.isracing in my cowgirl era
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user91 NOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND HAS A BOYFRIEND IT'S SO OVER 😭😭
your.bsf whatever he's doing i can do better i swear
yn.isracing i can name a couple things idk
your.bsf i don't think i wanna know...
yn.isracing
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liked by mclaren, louisvuitton and 1,182,764 others
yn.isracing city of love <3
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your.bsf that should be me 💔💔💔
judebellingham 😝😝😝 [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham croissant bag
yn.isracing yummy!
judebellingham j'aime les pieds 😍 [i like feet]
judebellingham my french professors told me it means pretty girl in french btw 🤭
camavinga 🤣🤣🤣
aurelientchm 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
jobebellingham who are u holding 🤨
yn.isracing some stray dog i found
jobebellingham so nice of you 🥰
judebellingham FUCK OFF ??? [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham STOP SILENCING ME [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham
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liked by centralcee, jobebellingham and 1,620,261 others
judebellingham some wannabe z lister (not me but you know)
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📌 judebellingham she's responsible for this caption btw
user22 jude soft launching his gf + her turning him into a swiftie was NOT on my 2023 bingo
user16 thank u for the roses bae xx
user77 me when i'm deluded
yn.isracing
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yn.isracing i'll be home for quismois 🎅
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your.bsf finally i get my girl back damn
yn.isracing i never left u 🤸🏻‍♀️
your.bsf you did, for a m*n 😁
user44 i just wanna see my baby standing right outside my door 😫😫
jude5updates
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liked by 99,729 users
jude5updates jude was seen at winter wonderland with friends yesterday during christmas break
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user62 he was so sweet !! and the girl he was with was super pretty 👩🏻‍🦯
user11 that was me
user90 the dots are connecting...
user07 girl bffr, they could be just friends 🙄
user19 that's a lot of coincidences miss yn.isracing 🤨🤨
yn.isracing
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liked by judebellingham, landonorris and 2,925,727 others
yn.isracing bitch don't tell me that you model if you ain't been in harper's bazaar or sum like that
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landonorris 😍😍
judebellingham back off shorty [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
judebellingham whoa
judebellingham drive me around pls
judebellingham doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall [this comment has been deleted by yn.isracing]
yn.isracing bitch wtf
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judebellingham
why do u keep deleting my comments :(
i just wanna love on my girl 😓
yn.isracing
because u lost your whole mind
you truly have no shame 💀
judebellingham
but you keep deleting my funny comments
ppl are gonna think i have no game
yn.isracing
well...
they wouldn't be wrong !
judebellingham
you know damn well...
how did i bag u then ?? uh !!?!;!?#;#(
yn.isracing
charity work from my end xx
judebellingham
i hate you
yn.isracing
no you don't
judebellingham
no i don't
i feel like i'm being reasonable tbh
i could bark in your comments
do you want me to bark in your comments ?
yn.isracing
NO ?????
maybe i do idk
judebellingham
furry 😧
but seriously tho
i don't like being a secret
i just wanna show off my gf idk
yn.isracing
:(
we agreed to keep it on the low for now
judebellingham
but i'm starting to regret it
it's so hard not to insult your teammate ❤️
yn.isracing
HE'S JUST BEING NICE
judebellingham
nooo he can fuck off
only i get to be nice to you
others have to bully you
i want to renegotiate our contract
yn.isracing
girl what contract are u talking abt
judebellingham
we don't have to post everything abt us
i just wanna show my appreciation properly
but still stay private
everyone knows anyways
pleaseeee 🥺🥺🥺
yn.isracing
wtf delete
the emojis i'm 🤢
i guess... maybe...
judebellingham
?????
yn.isracing
we can compromise...
judebellingham
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liked by yn.isracing, benchilwell and 2,619,015 others
judebellingham passenger princess (me)
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📌 judebellingham she forced me to use this caption
jobebellingham stop lying now
yn.isracing oh i love you so very much
yn.isracing MY PERFECT BOYFRIEND WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRIVER'S LICENSE
yungfilly pretty girlfriend + personal driver is CRAZY
yn.isracing he's not paying me for the extra hours 😪
judebellingham i'm paying you in kisses, jokes and other tomfooleries 🙄
yn.isracing
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liked by judebellingham, mclaren and 2,081,620 others
yn.isracing that's a wrap for my rookie year in f1 + first win woooo. thank you of the support, see you next year 🤪
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mclaren here's to many more years and wins together ;)
judebellingham so so so so proud of you
judebellingham you're so good at everything it's so sexy of you whoa
jobebellingham have some shame
gioreyna down bad
judebellingham noooo she stole my phone wtf hahaha i never commented that lol
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