#Unexpected Company

[omg-snakes]

So I found this little guy in my kitchen the other day. I caught him with cup and a piece of paper and released him outside after taking the picture. I thought it was a baby king snake but it could also be a western ground snake, both are common in my area (southwestern United States). Any idea what the little noodle could be?

OMG! That's a western ground snake for sure and they are perfect and precious and wonderful!

These little guys are insectivores and Grade-A cuties. I wonder what prompted it to wander in unannounced? Whatever it was, they picked a lucky kitchen to visit. Lucky for them (snake-friendly person) and for you (cute surprise guest)!

Thank you for helping them get back on their way, and for sharing this great photo! :)

[mia-tiny]

Are you going to make another part of Unexpected Company?

I'm glad you asked! Part Four will FINALLY be up this Weds 11/16!

Prepare yourself for angst!

[fandomficsnstuff]

Unexpected Company - 1

(Warnings: Some mentions of fighting and blood but that’s about it)

For the words in bold, if you want to know 100% what they mean, here’s the website I use, some of the words may have more than one meaning so I suggest picking one that fits best with the entire sentence: https://www.thuum.org/translator.php

Notes: This is platonic only! It is a prequel to A Chance Encounter but can be read alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth groaned weakly as she began to wake up, the ache in her entire body slowly taking over and she felt almost paralyzed with pain, yet she managed to sit up, eyes opening, her vision blurry but slowly it began to become more clear. She looked around with confusion, trying to figure out how she came to be in what looked like a Snow Elven structure in the middle of the Rift, judging by the trees. Ruth slowly stood up, only to stumble, grunting in annoyance as she fell to the floor and her legs failed her, the flecks of gold in her eyes shimmering in anger. As she turned to look at her own legs to glare at them, she realized the different clothes she was in, her eyes widening as different scenarios piled through her mind, all centered around why she had been dressed by someone.

Just as she heard footsteps approaching, she forced herself to her feet, silently moving to hide behind a wall, out of sight as the door opened and a woman, some sort of elf judging by the tip of her ears, walked in, a frown visible on her face as she saw the empty bed. She hesitantly closed the door and the second Ruth heard the door click, she sprung forward, pinning the woman against a wall, one of her hands locked around the woman’s throat as she glared at her, squeezing just enough to scare the woman without killing her or making her pass out. “Where am I?”

“R-Rivendell…” the woman’s voice was wavering as she stared at Ruth with wide eyes, tears beginning to form in them but Ruth didn’t even seem to care, applying a little more pressure to the woman’s throat, hearing her gasp and whimper in fear “who took my clothes?”

“No one-”

“Don’t lie to me, and I might not snap your neck” Ruth growled, the golden flecks coming to life in her green eyes, the woman had tears running down her cheeks by now “I’m not lying! You fell from the sky!”

“Who dressed me?!”

“L-Lady Arwen-”

“Who in the name of Oblivion is ‘Lady Arwen’?!”

“Lord Elrond’s daughter-”

“And who the fuck is that?!”

“P-Please just let me go-” the woman begged as she sobbed, Ruth’s face softening and she began to loosen her grip, until she heard more footsteps. Ruth flipped the woman around, moved back and grabbed a dining knife by an unused set of dinnerware and a plate, holding it to the woman’s throat as the door opened, revealing a man with brown hair and an elderly one dressed in gray robes. “Who are you?... Answer me!”

“I am Lord Elrond, this is Gandalf the Gray-”

“I’ve never heard of a ‘Lord Elrond’! Lie to me and I slit her throat” Ruth warned, the woman whimpering again, the old man stepping forward with his hands raised. “We’re not going to hurt you-”

“No? Then stop lying and tell me where I am!”

“You are in Rivendell-”

“I’ve been to every single part of the Rift and there’s never even been a mention of some place called ‘Rivendell’. I swear on the Nine I will slit her throat” Ruth warned, the tip of the otherwise dull blade pressing harder into the woman’s throat. “You fell from the sky as a wolf… then you changed back, your clothes in tatters around you, you were unconscious” the man claiming to be ‘Lord Elrond’ spoke, Ruth frowning at him, her grip loosening slightly yet the woman didn’t dare move “where am I?”

“Please, let her go… You should rest” Lord Elrond spoke softly, Ruth scoffing softly “I hold a woman you know hostage and you tell me to ‘rest’?! Where in Oblivion are my weapons?! My pouch?!” Ruth demanded, the woman in her arms was shaking with fear by now. “We will fetch them for you, but first you will let her go” the man in gray spoke softly, gesturing to the woman and Ruth narrowed her eyes on him. “Who sent you, hm? The Morag Tong? The Dark Brotherhood?? Or perhaps it was Maven Black-Briar?!”

“None of those people sent us” the old man stated softly, Ruth nearly flinching as he took a small step closer to her, backing up with the woman still in her arms. “And you, what in the name of Meridia are you? Some sort of High Elf?... And you? His steward?”

“I am Gandalf the Gray-”

“Never heard of you.”

“P-Please let me go…” the woman begged softly, Ruth looking at her before letting her go and pushing her away, the dull knife pointed at Lord

 Elrond and Gandalf as the woman ran out sobbing, her feet backing up slightly to get further away from them. “We are not going to hurt you-”

“Then tell me where in Tamriel I am! Where did you take me, hm? Cyrodiil?”

“This is Middle-Earth…”

“What kind of name is that?! I’m not talking about which hold, I’m talking about which continent! Which province am I in?” Ruth growled, the two men exchanging confused looks before looking back at her. “There is no place called Tamriel here…” Gandalf admitted softly, Ruth scoffing with a smirk “so what? I traveled across two worlds? Hm? I just happen to exit Apocrypha in another plane of existence?”

“Put down the knife and we can figure all of this out-”

“And what? I have people to look after! I don’t have time for this” Ruth snapped, Gandalf sighing softly with a sympathetic look, taking a small step closer to her. “You are scared… wounded… let us help, we mean you no harm. We only want to help you” something in his soft voice made Ruth’s gaze turn a tad softer, the knife still raised yet she had loosened her grip on it a little. Gandalf saw this and took another small step towards her. “We only want to help” he stated once more, taking another small step towards her “you are in Middle-Earth. I am Gandalf the Gray, this is Lord Elrond. You are in Rivendell, many elves live here-”

“What kind? You’re clearly not Dunmer or Bosmer or an Altmer… are you some kind of-... mix?? An elf and a human?... You’re definitely not a Snow Elf.. I’ve met the last living Snow Elves and you’re nothing like them.. so what are you, hm?”

“Lord Elrond is the High King of the Ñoldor and captain and herald of Gil-galad. You are currently in Lindon, Rivendell lies within Lindon” Gandalf spoke softly, still taking brief and small steps towards the frightened woman. “You fell from the sky in the shape of a large wolf, I can show you where you landed before you passed out and returned to your former self-”

“I want my things first, my pouch” Ruth stated quickly, Lord Elrond and Gandalf sharing a brief glance and Lord Elrond nodded, leaving the room as Gandalf seemed to be the one who could talk the woman down. “What was the color of the fur?”

“White and timber-”

“The eyes?”

“Gold, shining gold.”

“Fuck… you’re telling the truth, aren’t you?” Ruth asked in a quiet voice, the man gently nodding his head as he gave her a sympathetic smile. “If you’re telling the truth… what did it look like when I changed back into a human?”

“Like a black mist clouded over you, turning your skin charcoal black-”

“Stop. I-...” Ruth slowly lowered the knife, stumbling back to sit down on the bed, staring at the ground in shock. “Tell me everything about this place, this world. I need to know everything…” she murmured, Gandalf nodding softly with a sad look in his eyes.

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Ruth looked out over the landscape from her room, arms crossed over her chest, hands on her upper arms under her shoulders, as though she was hugging herself, trying to feel some sort of comfort. As the door opened she looked over her shoulder, seeing Gandalf walk in and slowly make his way towards her as she turned her gaze back out over the rest of Rivendell. “What did you find?...”

“There is no mention of ‘Tamriel’, ‘Nirn’, ‘Aedra’, ‘Daedra’, ‘Dragonborn’ or ‘Sithis’ in any record I could find” Gandalf reported softly, Ruth closing her eyes as she nodded, sighing. “What about Lorkhan?” she asked, Gandalf gently shaking his head, making her nod once more. “So it’s true, then… I’m stuck in this world?” she asked softly, turning her head in the direction of Gandalf without looking at him, the old wizard nodding softly as he walked closer “I’m sorry, Ruth, I looked everywhere I could, every possible place I could come to think of-”

“It’s okay… I believe you” she muttered, gently shaking her head as she ran a hand over her face in passive frustration. “Lord Elrond has been looking as well, though he has come up empty handed himself” Gandalf added, Ruth turning to look at him, frowning. “He looked? Even though I haven’t been a grateful guest??”

“Lord Elrond recognizes your fear, he knows you are frightened and scared-”

“I’m not scared-”

“So holding a knife to a woman’s throat is a daily occurrence for you?”

“By Sithis… I’m stuck here… at least I won’t hear the Night Mother’s voice again…always sent chills down my spine” Ruth muttered the last bit as she turned and faced Gandalf, leaning against the railing as she looked down at the floor. “Where is Lord Elrond?”

“I believe he is conversing with Lady Galadriel who has come to visit” Gandalf stated softly, Ruth nodding and looking up at Gandalf briefly before digging through her pouch, taking out a sapphire, turning it in her hand before looking at Gandalf “can you take me to him? I think my apology is long overdue” she murmured, Gandalf nodding, knowing that Galadriel’s visit was more pleasure than business. He led her up the many stairs to where Elrond was with Lady Galadriel, Ruth hesitantly approaching, gently clearing her throat, glancing at Galadriel before looking at Lord Elrond, approaching and holding out her hand with the sapphire in it. “I always carry it around with me, it was a gift from-... it was a gift, I like to think it’s what has been giving me so much luck, other than my mistress Nocturnal…” Ruth stated softly, Lord Elrond frowning at her in confusion, prompting Ruth to gently roll her eyes and look down. “I know in the two months I’ve been here I-... haven’t exactly been kind, or a good guest. This is my way of apologizing, please accept it, my arm is getting tired” she joked lightly, looking back up at Elrond who hesitantly took the sapphire.

“Gandalf told me of what you did, looking for clues about my world… Thank you. It means a lot to me, even though I may be awful at showing it” she added with a small smile before stepping back and placing her hands behind her back. “Thank you, for trying to help despite how terrible I’ve been, if you or Gandalf ever wish to know more about my world or-... me… you barely have to ask…” Ruth stated softly, looking at Galadriel and bowing her head in respect before leaving, her cape flowing behind her, Gandalf smiling at both Galadriel and Elrond before following Ruth to her room, the two of them sitting down and just by the look on Gandalf’s face, Ruth knew.

“So, what do you want to know…?”

“Everything you can tell me, about you and your world.”

“That is asking a lot, to know about me… but you have earned it” Ruth decided before sighing, leaning back in her chair. “Alright.”

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Ruth was reading with Arwen when Elrond arrived, Ruth standing up and smiling at him, his lips quirking up in a small smirk at the drastic change from her behavior two years ago, when she first woke up in the strange new world, though she still loathed small-talk, or at least she pretended to, opting to teasing people instead of engaging in actual small-talk. “An orc party has invaded our lands-”

“I’m ready” she stated with a smirk, smiling at Arwen as a goodbye before leaving, Lord Elrond somewhat surprised, and yet not. The was a fiery young thing, always more than happy to take up arms when asked, and when asking was not needed. Over the two years, she had gotten more laid back and easy, accepting her new way of life with a calm and welcoming attitude, yet he knew it wouldn’t last. She was young, full of fire and life. She was a warrior through and through, and staying dormant was bound to make her miserable, the lack of excitement often spurring her into frustration and despite her allowance to shift whenever far enough away from Rivendell, it never seemed to be enough, it never seemed to sate her appetite for adventure. She relished in the opportunity to wield her blades and bow, it was on the verge of recklessness but Elrond had soon learned that she was far more capable than her small stature let on, and kinder than her mind allowed her, her heart shining through from time to time, showing a kind side to battle her stern and uncaring side. When Elrond caught up to her, she was already mounted atop her steed, the dark horse fixing it’s blood red eyes upon him, as though it had the sentience to know who he was and understand him on a humane level. She rode out amongst the elves as though she was one of them, her bow and arrows flying with the wind as they hit orc after orc, always reaching it’s mark and one of those marks, who was already carrying an elven arrow in the shoulder, stumbled back, falling back behind a rock with a dragonbone arrow in it’s forehead. When she grew tired of her bow, she jumped off her horse while it was still in full gallop, landing on the ground in a roll and when she got up, her dagger pierced that of an orc she stood in front of, the orc squealing with pain as she removed the knife and cut it’s throat, black blood splattering over her face in a small line and she turned around and cut down the orcs on foot, getting her red hair coated with the black blood of the orcs, chest heaving as she was done and every orc and warg was either dead or fleeing, Ruth blowing some loose hair out of her face as she grinned.

As she heard a horse approach, she looked up at Elrond, a grin still on her lips and he couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit. “Would you like to stay and feast?”

“Gods no, I’d rather join Molag Bal in Coldharbour than taste these again” she stated, Elrond smirking at her, knowing that she had already tasted orc and warg in her wolf form and had found it more than distasteful. She saddled up on Shadowmere, patting the horse’s neck before steering it towards Elrond, a frown suddenly grazing her features and she looked around, Elrond frowning at her sudden shift from happy to worried. “What do you smell?”

“People… they-... smell differently than elves or humans…” she admitted, Elrond taking a brief breath before turning his horse around “let’s greet our guests” he mumbled, Ruth nodding and she followed along back to Rivendell, her horse in the front as the elven horn echoed in the valley. As she rode towards the circle of men, she spotted one she recognized, Gandalf, yet she focused on the oddly small men accompanying him, she circled the small men, just as the others did, yet she caught their attention more. The black horse with blood red eyes, it’s rider a woman, not an elf, but a woman, her hair kissed by fire, a large birthmark on her cheek, her eyes green yet shining with gold, black blood splattered across her freckled face as she circled them, taking note of everything she could about them. As Elrond joined them, Ruth stopped her horse right in front of one of the small men, one with-... an ax in his head… As Elrond rode up beside her, he smiled at Gandalf, greeting him as he got off his horse, looking up at a still guarded Ruth who did the same, her eyes once again finding the small men, most of them staring up at her with their mouths open, prompting Ruth to give them a confused frown before walking towards Gandalf after Elrond had greeted him.

Gandalf smiled at the red haired woman, opening his arms and she gladly accepted the hug “Ruth my dear, I am happy to see you still here, I feared you may have left already” he stated once they parted, Ruth chuckling “left? Gandalf you know this place would fall apart without me” she teased, glancing at Elrond who lightly rolled his eyes. She turned around to look at the smaller men, tilting her head at them “so these are what you call ‘dwarves’? Don’t look very clever to me” she teased, some of them beginning to rile up, making Ruth chuckle briefly. Elrond glanced at Ruth before approaching the small group, one of the dwarves walking forward, clearly he had distaste for the elven lord. “Welcome, Thorin, son of Thraín” he stated calmly, the smaller man looked like he was trying not to attack Elrond with that big hammer of his “I do not believe we have met” he stated, his eyes glancing at Ruth who smirked at him. “You have your grandfather’s bearings. I knew Thror when he ruled under The Mountain” Elrond spoke up, keeping a passive tone to his voice but the mention of this ‘Thror’ seemed to rile up Thorin “indeed? He made no mention of you” he stated coldly, Ruth’s smirk slowly fading and she glanced at Gandalf with one raised eyebrow, Gandalf sighing and shrugging subtly before the two of them looked back at the exchange.

Elrond spoke something in elvish and there was a silence, until a red haired dwarf walked forward, raising his weapon and riling up his companions “what is he saying? Does he offer us insults?!-”

“No, Master Gloin, he is offering you food” Gandalf stated softly, Ruth once again smirking at them as they seemed quite stunned, a tense atmosphere settling over everyone and Ruth stepped forward. “Trust me, I was shocked too when he actually was kind to me, and I did a lot more than just show up without invitation like you” she stated briefly before turning to Elrond “if you ever need another bow…”

“I will call for you, Lady Telvanni-”

“Oh Molag’s balls” she murmured in annoyance, leaving the small group, Gandalf quite amused at the exchange and although he wasn’t showing it, so was Elrond.

[idontcarecarebear]

I love comparing book Thorin and to movie Thorin especially when they first meet Bilbo and book Thorin lands flat on his face being crushed by Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, pulls out a beautiful harp that he’s been carrying the whole time to the shire and even after they leave the shire, gives compliments to Bilbo about being a generous host and talks about the hair on his feet and movie Thorin just saunters in looking like a sexy mysterious man in the night ready to whisk away poor Bilbo but his brain wasn’t working quick enough to keep up with the charade and insults Bilbo instead.

And I love both of them and would love it if they both met and thought the other version was a complete moron.

[slaviccryptid]

[unicorngunter]

Happy 10th anniversary to the movie that changed my whole life and personality

[dopscratch]

fanart for this stupid freaking crossover i am unreasonably attatched to

i'm a sucker for dadthan winters what can i say

obligatory link below, 100% would reccomend, very well written

[bilbosversion]

and isn’t it just so ⊹ ࣪ ˖ pretty to think .˚ ₊ ⊹

all along there was some / invisible string

tying you to me? ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄

invisible string — taylor swift

[nmoroder]

Meursault askblog post #2: what is happiness?

Askblog tag: #nmoroder meursault ask Please see pinned blog post before asking questions!

This question was asked without any context, just out of the blue, so i had to add some context myself and put Meursault in a situation where someone nearby asks him about this topic. And Dante was the closest match. i struggled with drawing them for first three pages but then the drive kicked in and the rest was pure delight. i love this clockface disaster of a manager /lh

NOTICE: i don't take questions on tumblr! It's a thing on another website and all comics are simply translated from their original language to English. With some luck the questions you'd like to ask may appear out there, asked by others.

[grntre23]

bagginshield my beloved!! their designs r so hard but they r so cute so its okay. plz accept this late valentine’s gift - ik they r in erebor eating pie and having a blast i think

[mia-tiny]

Omggg?! I remember reading Unexpected Company last year and a few months ago I even came across some screenshots of it on my phone and was like "shit I forgot about that story" then deleted the screenshots and didn't remember who the author was 😭 I wasn't sure if it got finished or perhaps the author disappeared. Bless you, I'm going to read it from the very beginning now!

Omg that is so crazy! Honestly it had been so long since I touched that story that I had to read from the beginning as well 😂

Thank you so so much for the support!!! ���♡♡

[fandomficsnstuff]

Unexpected Company-Final

(Warnings: Fluff, angst, fluff, more fluff, some more angst and fluff:3)

For the words in bold, if you want to know 100% what they mean, here’s the website I use, some of the words may have more than one meaning so I suggest picking one that fits best with the entire sentence: https://www.thuum.org/translator.php

Notes: This is platonic only! It is a prequel to A Chance Encounter but can be read alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth was grinning as she watched the small Hobbit children run around and play, Bilbo noticing as he had arrived with a cup of tea, handing it to Ruth as she thanked him quietly before looking back at the children. “Do you miss it?...” Bilbo asked softly with a faint smile, Ruth continuing to watch them play with a small smile on her lips. “I never had Lucia for that long, really, only about two years… I saw her under a large tree in Whiterun, begging for money… the second I had housing, I adopted her… she was just a young girl, six years old if I remember correctly…” Ruth trailed off, tilting her head a little before grinning at one of the young girls who waved at her, Ruth eagerly waving back with pure adoration and love. “And you’ve never-... thought of having one of your own?”

“No… I can’t have children” Ruth admitted softly, turning to smile at Bilbo, enjoying the way they could freely talk without the fear of stepping over a boundary. Ruth picked up the tea cup and sipped it lightly, Bilbo looking down into his cup, Ruth frowning with a sad smile at the sight. “He loved you, you know…” Ruth stated softly, Bilbo nodding without looking up, Ruth sighing lightly at the sight, putting down her tea cup. “What’s the next stop?” Bilbo asked quietly, finally looking back up at Ruth and she gave a light shrug and a smile. “Beorn. I’m going to hunt with him for the next few days after I’ve arrived, I’ve promised to tell him about the beast-blood from my world.”

“I believe he’s got his eye set on you” Bilbo teased lightly, Ruth scoffing and rolling her eyes “and he knows I’m not interested. The second I am, I’ll let him know” Ruth stated with a smirk and once more, a silence filled the room besides Frodo playing, Ruth sipping her tea quietly as Bilbo studied her with sad eyes. “You’re wrong, you know… about what you said at their funeral…”

“How would you know, Master Baggins?” Ruth asked with remorse, Bilbo sighing “because I know you, Ruth. You come here at least a few times every single year, especially after the tree… you helped me plant that tree even though you got nothing out of it yourself. You visit both Dale and Erebor to see how they are doing, you helped Balin take back the mines of Moria. Every single thing you do is filled with love and care, so why shouldn’t you be able to love someone like I loved-.... like I loved Thorin?” Bilbo asked softly, Ruth staring at him with a small frown before sighing and looking down, running a hand briefly over her face. “Perhaps one day… but it seems like a distant possibility… I’ll stick to wandering, for now… On my way to Beorn I’m going to meet Gandalf at the Prancing Pony, so I should probably get going, after Beorn I’m going to Erebor and Dale” Ruth stated softly, drinking the rest of her tea before getting up, Bilbo standing up as well “it’s been a pleasure as always, tell Gandalf that the Bucklebelt children are still asking about his fireworks, and say hello to Bard for me” Bilbo stated softly, Ruth chuckling, nodding at Bilbo before hugging him and walking down the few steps to the small gate parting ways with Bilbo before saddling up on Shadowmere who waited outside.

----------------------------------------------------

Ruth couldn’t help but laugh as she sat near the table where Bard and his daughters were, his son off somewhere with a girl he had begun to know, Bard both weary and happy about it, Ruth chuckling at his concern, gently nudging his shoulder with her own. “Don’t worry so much, Bard. You’ve raised a good man, I just feel bad for all the others girls once they see he’s already taken” Ruth joked, Bard smirking with amusement, his head down but the second Ruth looked away, he looked back up at her, pleading eyes begging her to not look at him so he could admire her a little longer. “Dale is doing well, Bilbo sends his regards. Will you begin to build Laketown back up again, it’s been ten years already” Ruth asked, looking back at Bard who acted like he had just now looked at her, eyebrows raised casually as he shrugged and looked out over the people laughing and drinking and feasting. “We have plenty from the mountain but so far, no one has expressed that they wanted to return to live on the lake” he admitted, Ruth humming as she took a sip of her ale from her mug before lowering it “perhaps they just need to get settled properly, ten years is sometimes not enough for some people to stop looking over their shoulder” Ruth stated with a shrug, turning to look back at Bard who was already looking at her.

“You know from experience?...”

“No, I’ve never stopped.”

“Stopped what?”

“Looking over my shoulder” Ruth admitted calmly, Bard frowning at her with sadness “you fear for your life?...”

“How do you think I’ve stayed alive all this time?” Ruth asked with amusement but when she saw that he was genuinely concerned, she sighed, placing her mug on the table and smiling softly at Bard “I’m alright. Really, I am. Besides, I had a great teacher besides Master Neloth, he made sure of this when he found out that I wanted to travel and explore” Ruth stated with a brief chuckle,, shaking her head as she looked back out over the celebrating people, her eyes finding Sigrid and Tilda, her smile turning into a fond one as she watched them. “Tilda is a grown woman now, isn’t she?... And Sigrid?” Ruth asked softly, looking at Bard who smiled fondly at her “being the Lord of Dale makes the boys keep a distance” he admitted, Ruth chuckled “she’s a beautiful, kind woman, the men will flock around her all the same, they just learn to be more discreet” Ruth teased, Bard just smiling softly at her. “I was wondering if perhaps you’d take a walk with me?” Bard asked softly, almost as though he prepared himself for rejection and Ruth’s smile faltered, a frown forming on her face as she sighed. “Bard, you’re a lovely man, you really are. You’re humble and kind and it helps that you’re quite easy on the eyes… but I-I can’t… I won’t grow old with you, Bard, it’ll be centuries before I even start to feel the touch of age weaken my bones. And I wouldn’t be a good mother to your children or a wife to you, I can’t just-... settle down, it’s not me” Ruth muttered softly, Bard nodding with embarrassment, yet he still gave her a forced smile “I’m easy on the eyes?” Ruth rolled her eyes at his question, a scoff leaving her as she smirked, shaking her head with amusement “Talos have mercy” she joked lightly, smiling at Bard who smiled back at her.

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Ruth was smiling as she gently petted the horses in Beorn’s garden, the giant of a man watching her from a distance, unsure of how to even approach the woman, even though it wasn’t the first time she had visited. “Do you still have Niroht?” Ruth asked softly as she looked over her shoulder at him, Beorn snapping out of his trance, picking his work back up, collecting some of the honey as he gently shook his head, Ruth humming quietly with a small and brief frown. “Too bad… I guess not all things last” she stated softly, petting the horse again before turning and walking over to the other beehive, helping Beorn collect the honey, Beorn staring at her with a half open mouth, Ruth smiling softly at him. “You know what I told you, Beorn…”

“You’ll outlive me” he noted, Ruth nodding with a sigh before turning to fully look at him. “I don’t want to outlive someone I care about enough to marry, and besides, I can’t have children, Beorn, and if I remember correctly, that’s a big part of marriage” Ruth stated with a hint of sadness before picking up the bucket with honeycombs and walking inside the large cabin, Beorn following close behind after with his own bucket. “Why do you think you cannot have children?” Beorn asked softly, Ruth halting before putting the bucket down, turning with a sigh and giving him a pleading look, Beorn nodding and letting the topic go, Ruth letting out a brief sight of relief.

-------------------------------------------------------

Ruth was smiling as she watched the young child Bilbo had taken in, only thirteen now, an age Ruth thought of as a young man but apparently the aging was quite different in this world. “Forty-seven years of visiting and you still knock when you come to visit” Bilbo stated, mostly to himself but it made Ruth smile, turning to look at him “Master Neloth would have my head if I ever forgot my manners” she teased, Bilbo chuckling briefly, handing her a cup of tea, following her line of sight to the young boy. “Wouldn’t hurt if you learned small-talk either” he pointed out, Ruth scoffing quietly “and give up the endless silence? Never” she teased, Bilbo sitting down next to her, watching the young boy he had taken in a year ago, she had met him last year, yet not gotten to properly take a look at him and meet him. “So, he’s-... around eight in human years?”

“I believe so, yes” Bilbo admitted, Ruth humming quietly, sipping her tea as she leaned back into her seat. “So, you’ve not married yet?”

“Have you?”

“Not the point-”

“I’ll never marry, Bilbo” Ruth reminded him quietly, looking down into her cup of tea as Bilbo sighed “because you can’t have children… have you ever had a child, aside from Lucia?”

“No-”

“Then how do you know?” Ruth was silent before sighing, glancing at an occupied Frodo, standing up, putting her tea down and lifting up the tunic she had on instead of her armor, showing him three nasty, large scars on her right side, Bilbo frowning at the gruesome sight, even though they were already healed. “I was attacked, another werewolf had gone mad while I was out traveling. It was just after I had my own beast blood and I survived, killed the poor madman but-... I managed to drag myself to the nearest city, the healers said-... they were surprised I was even alive, half of my side was torn open and I could barely stand, I had lost so much blood… apparently one of the parts of me that was torn open was what would allow me to bear children. They told me they could save my life, but it was too damaged to ever truly work” Ruth admitted, trying to keep a casual facade but it was obvious she was on the verge of tears as she sat back down and picked up her tea, taking a brief sip of it. “Anyway, I won’t marry, so it doesn’t matter” Ruth stated with a shrug before sighing, continuing to collect the honey in silence while Bilbo stared at her with a mix of emotions in his eyes, the more prominent one being sadness.

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked-”

“Oh stop it, Bilbo. We’ve known each other for forty-eight years, I think you can stop apologizing for asking something by now… I’d just prefer to talk about something else…”

“You hate small talk.”

“I do. But I could tell you of Skyrim instead, I don’t count that as small-talk” Ruth stated with a smirk, Bilbo nodding with a small smile, giving her a nod, Ruth grinning as she put her tea aside and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “So, have you ever heard of something called Draugr?” she asked with a smirk.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruth chuckled as she watched Gandalf show off his ‘fireworks’ to the other hobbit children,Ruth chuckled as she watched Gandalf show off his ‘fireworks’ to the other hobbit children, her gaze turning to Bilbo as he retold tales of his adventure to the young children. As the cake was brought out, the children ran off, making Bilbo get up and walk over to sit next to Ruth, who smirked at him, making the old hobbit frown “what? What is it?” he asked, Ruth continuing to smirk “this is quite the party, Bilbo Baggins… which reminds me,” turning around, she picked up something from the table itself that she was leaning her back against. It was wrapped in cloth with a loose string around it, something hard underneath. Bilbo frowned as he unwrapped it, his eyes widening and a grin stretched across his lips at the sight.

“I carved it myself…” She admitted with a smile, Bilbo holding up the carved pipe, perfect and precise, a crown with a real, tiny white gem carved into it, above a carved sword with dragon wings, his eyes turning to Ruth who grinned at him. “I thought it’d be a nice gift, for your 111th birthday… t-the symbol below the crown is Akatosh’s symbol, my chief divine… and above it-”

“Thorin’s crown with the Arkenstone…” Bilbo muttered, fingers crazing over the carvings with tears in his eyes, his arms wrapping around Ruth in a tight hug, the woman flinching at the sudden contact, hesitating before returning the hug. “Last time I visited you complained about your old pipe, so I thought you could use a new one on your way to Rivendell” Ruth stated casually, Bilbo frowning at her, making her smirk “did you honestly think I didn’t know?” she asked with amusement, Bilbo looking around which made her chuckle “I haven’t told Frodo or Gandalf, that should be you. I’m coming with you. It’s been too long since I’ve seen Lord Elrond” she admitted with a smile, Bilbo giving her a soft nod “you are more than welcome” he stated warmly, Ruth giving him a brief nod “good, because I’m thinking that we go through Mirkwood-”

“Ruth-”

“And then we take the mountain pass-”

“Absolutely not!” Bilbo exclaimed, making Ruth laugh, leaning back against the table connected to the bench she sat on, her stomach beginning to ache from how hard she laughed. “Ruth chuckled as everyone began to cheer for Bilbo, her elbow nudging his side before nodding toward the platform “go on, give them a speech. I’ll be in your house, I’ve had enough ale” she stated, patting his shoulder before getting up, the two parting ways as Bilbo got up on the platform to give his speech, the ring twirling between his fingers in his pocket, his eyes locked on Ruth who he could glimpse when she opened the door to his home and bowed down to walk inside. The thought of walking alongside her as she rode on Shadowmere, towards the beautiful Rivendell his heart longed for, the mountains, the rising sun and the views… it made his heart ache, only strengthening his decision as the ring slipped over his finger behind his back.

[babe-bombadil]

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield On Vacation

Fili is the first to get stopped in the metal detector for carrying knives

Ori also gets stopped but that’s just because he's wearing overalls

Bifur gets stopped at the metal detector too for obvious reasons, but he just sighs and waits for Bofur to pull his doctor’s note out

Nori’s carry on bag gets stopped because his bottle of hair gel is over the 100 ml limit

Stirs up a fuss when he won’t throw it away

Balin has to step in and resolve the conflict that’s literally his job description in Erebor

Kili looks at the arrival/departure screens and sees that a flight got canceled and just immediately assumes it was theirs

Convinces half the dwarves they need to go back before Bilbo actually bothers to double check

Gandalf claims he “accidentally” booked himself in first class while all the others are in economy although he honestly deserves it after the stress of trying to get every dwarf on the plane

Gandalf also “accidentally” booked all the dwarves seats in the very back of the plane

He gets a Thorin Glare™ when they figure this out

Kili claims he needs to sit by the window so he doesn’t get nauseous but really he just likes to look at the clouds (and stars!)

Oin is out COLD before the plane even takes off

The others pretend not to be jealous he can fall asleep so easily

Bombur usually falls asleep quickly but makes sure to stay awake because he’s excited for the free snacks is very disappointed when he realizes it’s only a tiny bag of pretzels

Gloin’s seat accidentally got switched so he’s sitting in the front of the plane next to a middle aged couple

He doesn’t care but soon gets them into a conversation about their children

Talks for hours about his own son Gimli(!!!)

The couple absolutely loves him and by the end of the flight Gloin gets invited to their daughter’s wedding

Fili reaches over and presses the call flight attendant button on Ori’s seat

Ori is extremely embarrassed and flustered when the flight attendant comes over and apologizes for bothering her so many times that it starts being awkward and the flight attendant just slowly backs away

Bilbo reads a book for the entire flight like the nerd he is

Bofur nearly gets kicked off the plane after trying to start a group song doesn’t understand why the other passengers wouldn’t join in

Dori claps when the plane lands

FIli and Kili join him as a joke and start cheering loudly

Dwalin hits the back of their seats but can’t do much more because security’s been watching him since he arrived

Thorin has the darkest circles under his eyes because this man has MAJOR insomnia

Tried to fall asleep the entire 10 hour flight and only got 5 consecutive minutes also couldn’t sleep the night before

Is officially in his Grumpy Cat Era™ because he hasn’t slept in 36 hours and is dealing with a LOT of travel stress

Falls asleep in the car on the way to the hotel

There aren’t enough seats in the rental car so they just stuff Fili and Kili in the trunk don’t worry it was their idea

Bilbo is driving

Gandalf tried to be the driver but his drivers license was revoked years ago

Balin tries to tell the company about cool landmarks they pass on the way to the hotel but everyone is so tired no one responds

He doesn’t seem to notice and will continue giving a history lesson the entire drive

Bilbo runs over a pothole and Fili and Kili hit the ceiling with a loud THWACK

No one bothers to check on them until they get to the hotel sorry not sorry

Bonus:

Thranduil and Legolas are the ones who wear full suits to get on an airplane Legolas tries to get out of this but is told he will be disowned if he wears sweats

They are also the kind of people who will get off of a 15 hour red eye looking fresher than a daisy

Have to avoid paparazzi in the airport

They bring Tauriel with them for crowd control

Can definitely afford a private plane but don’t get one because of the high carbon emissions remember elves are the biggest tree huggers

[theaskywalker]

Imagine being Fili and Kili's younger sister and joining them and your uncle Thorin on the Quest despite their disapproval

Masterlist

[whatareyoutolkienabout]

Bilbo that first night, upon meeting Thorin: ohmygod how is this man single??? Look at him

Bilbo, less than a day into the quest: oh, I see.

[tolkien-povs]

POV:

When you started off saying, "Tea is at four!" so you don't socialise, but you end it in, "Tea is at four." so you can socialise with whoever is left.