#Untangling the Threads

[vaelsnipe]

I don’t know why I keep writing these. Habit, maybe. Discipline. Something I can touch when everything else is smoke. He doesn’t sleep like the rest of us. He doesn’t rest, not really. When he does, it’s like watching a storm hold its breath still on the outside, but I can feel it thrumming beneath his skin. I don’t think he dreams. I think the past is too loud for that. Still there are no storms loud enough to drown out the memory of his silence.

It’s not a sharp-edged kind of silence nor a weapon. His silence is worse, it’s ancient. A cathedral of it hollowed by time, echoing with all the things that were never said, never asked for and never given. He doesn't carry the weight of the world, he carries the full weight of time and all it's done to him.

I’ve listened in the stillness from the day I first met him. To the spaces between his words. The way his fingers would twitch when someone got too close. The way his voice sometimes caught like it had learned to swallow itself too many times. The way shadows follow him not because he calls them, but because they never truly left him. He doesn’t talk much about what happened to him, not directly unless I’ve asked. But I’ve pieced it together. The strings he doesn’t even know he’s unraveling from the scars that go deeper than skin. He’s old, older than I’d imagined at first but he’s aged in hurt. In the things denied to him. In the silence that’s wrapped around him like a second skin. I’ve seen glimpses into that abyss. What lives there isn’t just power, it’s pain. He was shaped by hands that only knew how to take. The kind that changed a soul down to its shape. He hadn’t been allowed to live like other people. He hadn’t grown. He’d survived. Piece by piece, moment by moment. Twisted into something beautiful and terrible, and taught that was the only way he’d ever be seen. And still… he survived. He didn’t become the monster they tried to make him. He became Lukel.

I have never believed in saving people. It isn’t who I am. I know damage when I see it. I know scar tissue. I know what it means to carry something inside you so long you forget where it ended and you began. But I see it now. The way he always steps between me and danger. The way he flinches at kindness, but never pulls away. The way he lets me see him, the real him, when he doesn't even know he’s doing it. Like trusting me is something he's relearning one heartbeat at a time. We both are relearning the same, it was hard as hell to let him see me but he has, all of me. And he stayed.

Gods be damned, I love him.

It's in the way forests remember fire. In the way old songs ache in the bones of instruments long since abandoned. In the way wounded creatures don’t run from each other, but instead… quietly learn where not to press. Bit by bit, I’m touching every thread of his story he’s let me, and I’ve seen how tangled they are. Each one stretched by cruelty, warped by time, and snapped too soon. I’ve patient, steady hands. I think I’m trying to untie him, unravel the knots. Maybe even trying to quiet the shadows, not to destroy them because I have come to love that part of him too, but simply to let them rest. He deserves that, he deserves someone who stays. Against all odds, I’ve chosen to stay.

It may take me a lifetime to untie every bound thread and find our own peace. Even if I have to carve it into the world with my bare hands, I will.

[@lukel-sunshadow for the mention ♥ ]

[ihavethemangoes]

Got a new project warped! I saw @aspiring-thembo do tablet woven selvages and I thought it looked cool as shit so I’m giving it a go. I do have an actual card turning pattern and the middle section is a twill structure but it’s not showing up yet because I needed something simple to spread out the warp. It’s uncomfortable turning the cards while reaching over the reed though so maybe I’ll figure something else out. Not really sure what other design stuff I want to do but I have enough warp that I can mess around with samples first.

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

*thinking about the villains' tragic fates*

You know, their routes never really talk too much about their fates and how it effects them mentally. Or how the MC feels about it, and dealing with the fear and angst of it with the slight exception of William's route

*eyes widen*

... I think I know what the sequels are gonna be about

[merrigold]

sorry to all my followers who don't care about severance. the brainrot is severe. it's critical.

[havendance]

I periodically get the urge to write self-indulgent whump fics instead of chewy intertextual fics but all of my self-indulgent whump ideas are parts of elaborate AUs built up over months of daydreaming and it’s far too much time and effort to convert them into something I could actually write when I could instead be using that time and effort to write chewy fics about comics women.

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

I'm actually 4 pages deep into a new Dreams of Our Past chapter.

To the three people I know for a fact have been very patiently waiting for this one: Yes, it's really happening. No, I can't believe it either.

[david-tennant-wearing-things]

Me, embellishing angrily: THE LAWS OF THREAD ARE MINE AND THEY WILL OBEY ME

[bird-bureau]

Mutuals please beam me your strength. I'm thinking about warping my loom and I will need your power if I am ever to succeed

[aroace-polyshow]

me 1 minute ago, foolish: i can totally use this sewing machine without a tutorial video

[peachyteabuck]

My bank account and small storage area would like to have a strong word with you

RIP Joann, now what?

I wanted to make a post I could copy and paste and or link when I see folks asking where to buy fabrics when Joann is gone. I sew a lot, generally between 100-200 items a year and I don't do it on a big budget. Stores are not in a particular order.

Notions:

Wawak.com - start here, mostly stay here. Wawak is a supplier for professional sewing businesses and have the prices that show it. I will not pay for gutermann Mara 100 anywhere else. I buy buttons, tools, thread, and most elastic here.

Stitch Love Studio - this is where I buy lingerie supplies https://www.etsy.com/shop/StitchLoveStudio?ref=yr_purchases

Fabric:

Fabric Mart - this is one where you want to sign up for emails and never buy unless its on sale. They run different sales every day and they rotate. Mostly deadstock fabrics but I buy more from here than anywhere else. Fantastic customer service and if you watch you can get things like $6 wool suiting or $4 cotton jersey. https://fabricmartfabrics.com/

Fabrics-Store - again, buy the sales not the full price. Sign up for the emails but redirect them to a folder because it is TOO MANY. They stock linen or good but not amazing quality. https://www.fabrics-store.com/

Purple Seamstress - This is where I buy my solid cotton lycra jersey. They have other things, but the jersey is what I'm here for. Inexpensive and very good quality. If you ask she will mail you a swatch card for the solids. https://purpleseamstressfabric.com/

LA Finch - deadstock fabrics with a fantastic remnant selection https://lafinchfabrics.myshopify.com/

Califabrics - mix of deadstock and big brands, easy to navigate and always seem to have good denim in stock. https://califabrics.com/

Boho Fabrics - good variety, nice bundles. I have also gotten some really great trims from here. https://www.bohofabrics.com/

Firecracker Fabrics - garment and quilting fabrics, really nice selection and great sale section. I've bought $5 yard quilting cottons here several times. https://www.firecrackerfabrics.com/

Hancock's of Paducah - Quilting fabric and some limited garment fabric. AMAZING sale section. Do not sleep on the sale section. This is my first stop when buying quilting fabrics. Usually the last stop too. Not particularly speedy shipping. https://www.hancocks-paducah.com/

Itokri - This is something a little different. Itokri is an Indian business with incredible traditional fabrics. Shipping to the US is expensive, but the fabric is so inexpensive it evens out. I generally end up paying like $30 for shipping. Beautiful ikat and block prints. https://itokri.com/

Miss Matatabi - this is a little treat. This isn't where you go to save money, but there are so many beautiful things in this shop. Ships from Japan incredibly quickly. https://shop.missmatatabi.com/

Lucky Deluxe - Craft thrift store, always has an incredible selection and fantastic customer service. I need to close the tab fast because I never go to this website without finding something I need. https://www.luckydeluxefabrics.com/

Swanson's - the OG of online craft thrift stores, but I find their website harder to navigate. https://www.swansonsfabrics.com

Honorary Mentions: I haven't shopped at these places yet but I have had them recommended and likely will at some point.

A Thrifty Notion - https://athriftynotion.com/

Creative Closeouts - https://creativecloseoutsfabric.com/ being rebranded to sewsnip.com on March 1 - quilting deadstock

Hawthorne Supply Co. - I just got this rec and I think I need to not look too closely or I'm going to slip with my debit card. https://www.hawthornesupplyco.com/

This is not an exhaustive list of everywhere you can buy fabric, or even a full list of where I shop. There are SO many options out there in the world. You also need to think outside the fabric store box. I thrift men's shirt fabrics for quilts and sheets for backing fabric. I don't do a ton of in person thrifting and my local stores don't get a lot of craft materials but every thrift store is its own universe and reflects the community it is in. Go out and find something cool.

Oh and final note: Don't shop at Hobby Lobby.

[i-dont-even-know-anymore976]

never once has just keeping going when my sewing machine starts to make a funny noise worked and yet i try it every time

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I think when it comes to this big ol' AU we've all heard about to hell and back, I should just... rip it apart and start over with it cause it's so fucking crowded and confusing and overly complicated in my head it's an absolute mess

[wingslikeiicarus]

.

[sauropsidsongs]

*gently beating back unexamined kin feeling with a broom* wait your turn motherfucker I’ve been in this community for less then three weeks and we will sit in our feelings for awhile

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

My love language is spending 1hour 48mins untangling a ball of wool for my mum apparently

[vinecoveredgarden]

I'm just so tired.