#Very Emotional Fucking: The Fic

[p4nishers]

no but actually imagine being immortal and meeting THE LOVE OF UR FUCKING ENDLESS LIFE and spending SIX THOUSAND MFING YEARS imagining an ETERNAL future with them and fucking knowing that you want to spend ACTUAL FOREVER with them like dude im gonna fucking choke and die how can love like that exist even in fucking fiction?? HOW??? this is making me so emotional imagine someone wanting to spend actual fucking eternity with you i would die at the mere fucking possibility. "and we spend our EXISTENCE pretending that we aren't (...) and i would like to spend–" are u fucking kidding me rn man??? fuck off fuck u shut up

[sandu-zidian]

Youth 💜❤️

[hypervoxel]

The first time Vox said, "I love you," to Valentino, it went horribly wrong, because Val laughed and made a joke about how often he's heard that as a sex worker (especially now that he's in Hell and has become a walking talking aphrodisiac that Vox was currently high on). Vox is now so self conscious about his feelings and has never voiced them that way since. In Val's mind, he told Vox to only say that if he means it, but Vox hasn't told Val he loves him ever again, so Val certainly isn't going to be the one to say it first.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

the thing about Minthara/Florrick is that evil-aligned megalomaniac Minthara is the emotional one as a canonical cuddlemuffin, yearner, and feelings-catcher, whereas upstanding and virtuous Florrick is so wholly committed to a) the city and b) platonic soulmate Ulder that she's otherwise about as emotionally available as a brick, and I think that makes for a very fun dynamic in the most rancid way possible

[foryoupeko]

[rant bc I read a really bad kuzu/peko fic, it’s an old fic so don’t fucking witch-hunt for it]

Can we stop writing Peko being unremorseful over killing Mahiru? Why did I have to read THREE SEPARATE FICS where Peko didn’t feel the need to reconcile with Mahiru WHEN SHE LITERALLY APOLOGIZE AT THE END OF THE SECOND TRIAL?

Why is the only fic where Peko felt remorse over killing Mahiru was in a Peko x Sonia fic?

I say this as a Mahiru hater, there is no fucking universe where Peko wouldn’t feel the need to reconcile with Mahiru. That is literally against her whole character and what she stands for.

The closest thing I could see would be:

—

Peko: I’m sorry for what I’ve done in the Neo World Program. You are a dear friend to me, so I truly wish it didn’t have to come to that.

Mahiru: … if you knew what you knew now, would you still have done it? I want a honest answer.

Peko: if the situation was still the same… then (looks away in shame) I would.

Mahiru: so you’re saying… there’s not a universe where you would’ve picked me over fuyuhiko

Peko: Mahiru-

Mahiru: I’m sorry, I can’t accept your apology. If I knew what Sato was going to do to Natsumi, I would’ve stopped it. But if you would’ve killed me no matter what, that that’s not a mistake. That’s a choice.

Peko: I don’t expect you to accept it, but I want to assure you that I will make it up to you.

Mahiru: You can try. Well, let’s go get dinner.

Peko: Y-you’re still willing to talk to me?

Mahiru: (sighs) I don’t forgive you, I might never. But if we’re gonna be stuck on the same island we can still be pleasant to each other.

[druidonity2]

You stumble across a sha with a unique appearance. It looks like it's struggling to keep it's original form. What do you do?

[wycross]

i absolutely cannot get over the depths of misery that are reflected in gojo going from "we're the strongest" to "i'm the strongest" especially with the recent manga themes. he lost the one person that was his equal, the only one capable of keeping up with him, of showing him love.

the immense loneliness reflected in that. he was alone all his life until he met geto, too strong, too special to make any connections with others. and then he met geto and he was able to interact with him as a peer, as an equal, and finally have something like a normal human relationship despite his powers. and he lost it.

it's almost worse than him never having been able to find someone to keep up with him in the worst place. he knows what hes missing out on. and he doesn't have the normal people option of moving on, finding someone else - there is no one else. only geto was able to match his pace, meet him on equal ground. and then he lost that and had to kill his only friend, lover, real human connection.

"i'm the strongest" sounds a lot like a brag. but it's the loneliest, saddest truth, admitting that he's at the top. and there's nobody who can reach out and touch him there. not anymore.

[jessamine-rose]

*lovingly tackles Aine*

Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽｀)

Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—

*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3

[sing-me-under]

I have a lot of opinions on fanon Tim. I am a fanon!Tim Drake anti. I’ve never been an anti of anything before, but I am very anti fanon!Tim Drake. He’s basically just a Mary Sue, but it’s worse because Tim Drake is a real canon character who is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. What the fuck did y’all do to him. Why can’t you just project your childhood trauma on a self insert like the rest of the internet. Look at him! You could replace him with a single packing peanut, and I couldn’t even tell the difference!

[courtanie]

Okay but like there's a fundamental problem with the common headcanon/wish for the show where Husk gambles Valentino for Angel's soul. (Mind you this doesn't apply to AUs where Husk still has his soul, this is regarding the canon timeline, but I digress.)

Husk would (or SHOULD) know better than to go that route. How did Husk lose his soul again? The man knows how severe the consequences are when you lose that gamble. And Alastor owns his soul so he can't put that on the line, so it's literally going to be 'does Val get full ownership of Angel's soul or none of it'. That is an insane amount of stakes, no matter how confident he is that Val's stupidity will outweigh the potential for his loss. But before 'Loser, Baby' when he's talking to Angel about his loss to Alastor, he's speaking of regret, of understanding the consequences that he inflicted upon himself. So WHY would he potentially put Angel through that? Yes on one side is freedom, but on the other is him knowing that he caused Angel to become completely ensnared. (Great for angst fic, horrible for actual canon plotline god can you imagine.)

And furthermore, giving that role to Husk really belittles what is looking to be a main arc of Angel's character, which is him gaining his agency back. Listen, I want Husk involved in his freedom coming to fruition, desperately, (and vice versa), but Husk shouldn't be the main cause of said freedom. Angel shouldn't once more find himself as just a pretty little toy with no real say in his fate. We can make an argument that Angel could be the one that asks Husk to do that so it's technically "his" decision, but that would detract just the same I feel. Like sure, let the fight start with Husk, but Angel needs to be the one to finish it.

Angel learning to trust is another important part to his arc, but there's a difference between trust and handing over the fate of your soul to yet another person. Such a scenario would come with an underlying feeling of owing Husk something even if Husk insists he doesn't, and what could make their relationship so special is neither of them feeling obligated to be with the other one, they just want to be. That's a freedom neither of them have had for a long time and taking that opportunity from them, even subconsciously, just seems cruel.

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[nyaaamato]

i feel so so crazy every time i think about the expressions obito pulls during the kamui fight... everyone always focuses on his "crazy smile" and it's become so prevalent in fanart and fanfiction that you'd almost think his character was defined by that emotion...

instead i want to talk about the way the animators used the (very sparse) light in his eyes during that fight to convey something different about him that i think is so much more important to understanding his motives and feelings during this part of the series: determination (to, in his mind, "save the world") and grief (knowing, at least somewhere deep, deep down that things will be the same. after all- he wants to create a perfect dream world, not a perfect world because when reality refuses to change... then you settle for second best).

during the start of the fight between obito and kakashi in kamui, both of their eyes are lightless and faraway, they've closed themselves off emotionally to stay resolute in their convictions. this is the first time they've fought face to face in twenty years, and we can tell this takes a toll on both of them because the shots switch back and forth between them fighting as kids to them as adults and back again, with their expressions and reactions mimicking those of when they were younger. it stands out less on kakashi, because while he did change as he grew up he still has a fairly reserved attitude and sticks to the shinobi rules of not showing vulnerability in front of his students and teammates.

it's more obvious with obito, because the distinction between him as a kid and an adult are just so different. whether it's quiet sadness (when he talks with minato about kakashi and sakumo before the kannabi bridge mission) or frustation (not graduating fast enough) or worry (they've lose a teammate in enemy territory), his emotions are drawn exaggerated from the get-go. obito is emotional outwardly and that's a staple of his childhood self as well as another reason he's a "black sheep" shinobi.

then, we have several chapters and episodes after his face reveal where his expressions hardly expand past a frown and a deeper frown. it's easier for him to close himself off, dissociate into someone who can take on an entire army, because that army represents the bulk of what he sees wrong with the shinobi world. alone with kakashi, though... feelings slip in. he doesn't have a character to play, a mask to wear.

kid obito's determination not to lose slips through, and you can see the bitter sadness, the desperation behind his feelings. this expression drags out significantly longer than kakashi, and in many ways gives the impression that his will is stronger than kakashi's. kakashi can't bring himself to kill obito, no matter how close he gets. his resolution is weaker than obito's conviction to free himself, destroy his last shred of humanity (his heart) by throwing himself on kakashi's blade.

kakashi's "determined gleam":

versus obito's:

i don't have much else to say really HAHA... i've just been thinking about this like ten second long snippet of their fight since i rewatched it a few months ago because it's something i totally missed when i watched it air years ago. this isn't a kakashi snub either! he just doesn't get his character quite so brutalised by fandom the way obito does, and i'd looove to see more content that doesn't diminish him to "angry guy that swears a lot" LMAO

[silveredsound]

How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱

[silverskye13]

Gave myself psychic damage making plot points, so there's that.

[rinn-e]

Love when Star Wars is Jedi being emotionally attached ✨️

[jaynovz]

Luke Arnold did not put his entire psyche and pussy into John Silver to the detriment of his own health for yall to say Silver is a mastermind liar and not a fucking repressed bisexual MESS